#which is probably for the best tbh
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in internet posts it is easy to cut them out of your life. they are hurting you! they aren't listening to you!
they held your hair back. they lent you lipstick. they held your hand at the train station and got you home safe. they rounded on your bully, got loud, said get fucked, spitting-mad in your defense.
they also cut the hair off again. told you that you should really think twice before wearing something like that. took you for granted. took your insecurities and threw them in your face again.
you know logically it should be easy. all the internet advice comments always read it will feel better. like an equation - if a person is rotten, you just remove them. you pull the tooth that's hurting.
but it was never a big flare-up moment. you don't live in a sitcom. they never tried to take your boyfriend or steal from your apartment. they showed up to birthdays and they wrote songs about you and bring you water without you asking. once you found out they carry an emergency inhaler for you, even though you haven't had an asthma attack in years - just in case.
where is the line? people fuck up. sometimes they fuck up badly. sometimes people have raw personalities, like a powerline, and being around them is dangerous. addicting. sometimes they can't help themselves, but you know they're trying. sometimes they are just rough-around-the-edges. sometimes they don't even realize how they sounded when they said that. sometimes it's just - you've both loved each other for so long now, the way this thing hurts goes back to the root.
and that's the fucked up part. you have pushed your fingers against the sweetheart of memory. things these days are electric, tense, harrowing. they didn't used to be. there were a lot of good days in there. sometimes you want to just close your eyes and say can this be over yet? do we still need to be fighting?
doing that would give up any chance you get of getting an apology, but you don't always know that you need an apology, you love them. once they flaked on your birthday party. once they told you to get over it, people are always dying. they also let you crash on their couch for a week after the breakup, handfeeding you when you were so sad you couldn't eat. they are also judgmental about everything, occasionally react to banal statements with an attitude that is weird and fiery. they also love you like a lighthouse sometimes, so strong they cut the storm like lightning.
but the problem is that you might be storm. you might be the thing that needs breaking. what if you are two forces who are desperately, horribly drawn to each other, shaped by the other person's passions, and both good for each other and bad in equal measure.
what if you're both just people, and you're no saint neither.
just cut them off! swallowing the saltwater, you catch yourself in the mirror. you've been shaking more than usual. there's an ache in you that is oblique, loud, impossible to soothe. is this what it looks like? when life is "easier"?
your mouth will always have a hole, is the thing, if you remove the tooth.
#spilled ink#warm up#writeblr#this is about someone specific but feel free to blorbo on main.#tbh this is familial for me so that is an element but it's also about childhood best friends#and probably about ur enemies to lovers blorbo#(but i want to specifically say if ur partner is like this. not necessarily a good partnership lol.)#(the dynamics at play in familial/friend relationships feel equally important and in some ways are HARDER to escape.#bc we can see that this is a potentially toxic romantic foundation.#but in family ? ...... it's toxic and it doesn't stop u from loving them. bc u always have.#and i think that makes it harder. by a lot. which is what this is referencing).#but genuinely and really truly forever feel free to tag ur potentially toxic enemies to lovers on this and all my poetry#here i'll do one for u - adora & catra :x
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About a decade ago, my 65 year old conservative father binge watched a tv show on netflix and he became absolutely obsessed with it–to the point my mom and I were sick of hearing about it–so he decided to go on the internet to find other people who loved this show as much as he did and boy oh boy, he was not prepared to see what happened when you googled the phrase "Supernatural fan communities."
#supernatural#spn#destiel#nov 5th#he still loved the show after this#which is even funnier tbh#its probably for the best that he passed away before 2020#because i think his head would have exploded#birdy chirps
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GOD I forgot how much it sucks having a crush on someone </3
#fitz's cursed thoughts#I haven't had a crush in years#it was fun at first because I was like wow I haven't felt this way about anyone in forever :]#now I'm like dear god the pain how do I make this stop </3#of course I don't I'll ever have the courage to tell them how I feel#which is probably for the best tbh#every time I've had a crush on someone it doesn't end well#anyone I ever confessed to either acted like i'm weird or creepy or they just straight up left me without saying anything#not making the mistake of admiting I have feelings for someone again (especially someone i really really like talking to lol)#also to clarify I don't mean I hate having feelings for someone#I just mean i hate the pain that comes with it#like i want to tell them so bad but I care about them so much and enjoy talking to them#that I don't want to scare them away or make them think I'm creepy or anything like that#and for all I know they could already have a partner#idk I just forgot how hard this was 😔
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At some point in your life, there will be a moment where exactly - or near exactly - half the people in the world are younger than you, and half the people are older.
And I think that moment should be the one your soulmate Mark appears at, not at birth or puberty or something. Both because at birth is kind of boring but it's also very you-centric and soulmates are about the thing outside of you being a part of you, and I think it would be nice to include The World.
But also I think it would have fascinating implications for scientific and social studies. Longevity trends tracked by the average age soul marks appear. Tragedies causing a rash of recent marks to disappear (because the people are no longer the middle). Marks appearing early during baby booms.
#soulmates#i just think it would be neat#and let people survive their teenage years#and discover who they are before they get told who they're matched with#gives everyone a chance to fall in love naturally#AND best of all#it means YOUR mark may appear now but if your soul mate is younger than you#it wouldn't appear for them yet#meaning a new dynamic and honestly less stress i think#because if you fall in love with someone not your soulmate you wouldn't necessarily know#unless you were the exact same age somehow#which tbh since soulmates isn't romantic a large portion of the time#twins probably share a mark#in this world you can have as many soulmates as you want btw#you can have pets be soulmates too but their mark appears when#they're the middle point for their species#i should really sleep#nightblogging
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Silly little comic I made.
#the burnt lettuce part is probably true tbh#van kleiss just seems like the kind of guy who would smell like burnt lettuce#even after he’s no longer literal dirt just figurative dirt#rex actually does regrow limbs he’s like a freaky little mechanical axolotl boy#i wish we’d gotten to see what rex regrowing a limb actually looks like in the show and not just in the comic#it probably would’ve looked really cool and i want to see it#van kleiss probably learned that rex could regrow limbs by nefarious means and rex probably doesn’t remember it#which is probably for the best that man has traumatised him enough#i honestly didn’t mean to have van kleiss deciding to be a dick by giving an answer to noah and not rex#but i didn’t want to just have him stand there in the background because that’s boring#and it somehow fits the pettiness of who he gives information to willingly because it’s not rex and it almost never is#every time i watch the show noah and rex become even more boyfriends to me#also i think noah deserves to get in a dig at vk every once in awhile#like van kleiss did almost have him killed and he had to see van kleiss stabbing rex in the first episode#and van kleiss turned him into an evo once so like#yeah he should get to roast him sometimes#sarcastic unhinged trans noah my beloved#generator rex#generator rex fanart#genrex#genrex fanart#rex salazar#noah nixon#van kleiss#noex#theaxolotlart
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— two things ive never drawn in one, this head angle and him smiling (or grinning here)
#i yapped a lot on the ig post so im keeping this all here#i scrapped the whole original of this and redid it from the start which was the best decision tbh outcome was good#been doing a lot of full white eyes even though its not canon for him#probably gonna draw him more often in just dress pants even though the train part of his outfit is only exaggerated here#dress pants would make more sense for the stuff he does in canon#probably gonna make it two different oufits for him so both are canon#one is just more practical#i assume attempting to take down a cult would be hard to do in this outfit#art#artists on tumblr#my art#digital art#artwork#canine#anthro#furry#furry art#dog#my character#madigan
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Tim Drake has a weird fucking function
The thing about Tim that I find unique is that his life became SO MUCH WORSE after joining the heroing thing. Everybody else had a mid-to-shit life before becoming a hero/living with Bruce and mostly everybody (except Jason who LITERALLY DIED) had their life improved by being a hero/being Bruce's kid (or at least it is typically portrayed as such.
Tim had the exact opposite trajectory. His life wasn't perfect before he became Robin, but like...multi-millionaire/billionaire (canon is unclear, but he's within Gotham's upper-strata) kid with both natural intelligence + charisma and a bright future ahead of him and parents who were emotionally neglectful but nothing really beyond that (which is also a form of trauma, but all of the info we have indicates that the Drakes were no Arthur Brown or David Cain) and he still had other people he could rely on outside of them. He went to boarding school, which could be something horrible OR something amazing depending on your own thoughts/experiences. I grew up having a commute where we'd drive past a really pretty and rich af boarding school that literally everybody in our area DREAMED of going to, so to me the idea of going to boarding school sounds incredible but mileage may vary. Tim seems like the type of kid who would thrive in that though. Based on what we know in canon atm, his pre-robin life was fucking amazing.
And then he starts being the sidekick and working towards becoming Robin. His parents immediately get kidnapped and poison themselves through drinking tainted water; his mom dies and his dad is in a coma. This is not the fault of Robin, but Tim himself muses about the idea that Robin and dead parents are linked: to become Robin completely, you must lose your parents. And with how fate/destiny/canon events can operate in comics universes, maybe he isn't that far off. Once his dad wakes up, their relationship becomes strained as the man grieves the loss of his wife and realizes that his son has been doing vigilantism as a hobby. It is unclear exactly how good of a parent Jack was before the incident, but the results of Tim's involvement with the Robin mantle has definitely made things worse between father and son. Jack will also die within quick succession of 2 of Tim's best friends, his girlfriend, and his other father. He will also effectively lose like 1/2 his loved ones in the fallout of all of that mess including: his older brother, his other friends (both civilian and superhero), and the stepmother with whom he shared what I would argue is his best parent-child relationship (Dana also may have died, but it's left unclear). He has stopped pursuing higher education (the moment he even applied for college he 'died', and it seems he hasn't made another attempt since) and if he wasn’t a major focus of the media before he sure is now. He tries to quit briefly (in fact he initially was planning on quitting once someone more suited came along) and cannot bring himself to do so. Even when he does manage to get away for a while, his superhero life impacts the pre-robin life he is trying to go back to. Leaving is an impossibility, this is all there is for him now. He also isn’t allowed to make mistakes anymore, not when lives hang in the balance. The one who enforces that impossible standard the most (besides Bruce depending on who's writing) is himself. He’s got TRAUMA now and people want to hurt him constantly. He is constantly questioning his own sanity and morality and place in the world. He almost dies like every month. Tim grows colder and less grounded, he is becoming both a better and a worse version of himself at the same time. He’s saving lives in the same few issues as he’s setting up a Saw movie plot for the man who killed his father. He is haunted by the ghosts of his past and the looming figure of his future. His life becomes SO MUCH FUCKING WORSE after he becomes Robin. Some of it is the fault of others, some is the fault of circumstance, and some of it is due to his own actions. But basically all of Tim's worst traumas and life-changing moments are either tied to or caused by Robin. Dick's parents would still be dead, Jason would still be living on the streets, Stephanie would still have Arthur Brown for a father and a lot of other things that deserve their own posts/IDK if they've been retconned, and Damian would still have been raised in the eco-cult where death is a constant. Those are life circumstances that occur without the involvement of Robin, the only one who even needs Bruce involved at all in their series of events is Damian. But Tim? All of what is considered his 'worst' moments occur after he assumes the role.
This idea is what I find the coolest and most fascinating about Tim as a character. Being a hero is usually portrayed as either an outright awesome thing or a righteous duty that one must fulfill or (maybe in a grimmer and/or more grounded story) a sacrifice to your interpersonal relationships/mental health that is made for the greater good. For Tim, being a superhero actively ruined his life (both because of the general circumstances surrounding being a kid vigilante and the choices he made as part of that role). It's never portrayed that way in canon because we need to come out of issues going 'wow being a superhero is so cool! I'm gonna buy the next issue!', but when you just look at Tim's life literally everything really bad that we know of occurred after he became Robin.
#tim drake#batman#batfamily#Red Robin 2009#Red Robin#idk this is just why I think Tim is a really interesting character. I'm probably not being as articulate as I could be but it's tumblr so#I've had a lot of people say that they think Tim is the most boring robin. And I disagree because I don't think any of them are boring#but it is definitely the hardest to explain what makes Tim interesting to people with only a cursory knowledge#and it doesn't help that a lot of what makes Tim cool relies on his relationships with OTHER characters.#like you can explain why Jason is cool and interesting without even mentioning Batman if you really want to.#with Tim you need a fucking relationship chart and like 11 asterisks whenever anything involving the 'Bruce is dead' era is involved#so I just felt like typing up why I think he can really work as an exploration of somebody who straight up got WORSE after heroing#granted it's never actually stated because DC needs to make money. and tbh the closest we've ever gotten is Red Robin 2009#which I feel is dubiously canon at best at this rate. was it retconned? did any of it happen in the current universe?
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She's just so 🩷
#good coursing day. rough first run. she was accidentally tackled and took a tumble#but recovered beautifully and basically seemed to feel like it was nbd#tbh my heart was in my throat with that tumble so it being minor makes today 10/10 imo#and. because im proud of her. her second run was probably her best run to date#she was right on the lure. didn't lose speed at all. started strong and kept the momentum#also she did not take me on a joy run of the field. which she was just starting to do in the last couple times we went coursing#she barely thrashed the bunny and came right to me when i called her#i wish i hadn't been alone today and could've recorded that second run!!
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gonna download inkscape and see how that works for making .svg files ✌🏻
#i tried exporting existing files as svg and didn’t notice a Massive difference and tbh i’m not sure if svg images themselves are that#different compared to jpgs bc i know u can use coordinates in the code itself to use svgs which is probably the Best course of action but u#see u don’t know how to do that!!! i might if i have to but ill try this first#🎆.txt
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I feel like it's the little things about the AAI2 official translation that's going to get me more than the character names
Like the PIC now being the Committee for Prosecutorial Excellence or Logic Chess becoming Mind Chess and 'Wait and See' becoming 'Bide my time'
Its bc I know the character names are changing but I havent thought about all these little things that are going to change too
#like the case names are more than likely going to change too and im not ready for that#the inherited turnabout is a great case name and I'll be sad to lose it#but tbh its not a terrible thing because it means itll be easier to distinguish between the fan and official translations#ace attorney#aai2#i know people keep debating over what to call the characters but honestly im just going to use both#because the characters are going to be different between the two versions due to the translation differences#like Sebastian likes to make references to being the best but Eustace will probably make references to being a winner#or like Ray and Kate have an implied thing for each other but maybe Eddie and ??? won't#its like how das haus anubis is essentially a clone of het huis anubis but the characters have different names and#while the broader plot beats are the same the character interactions change slightly#so theyre still two different shows and are distinguished as such#so basically if i want to talk or write about aai2 the names i use will depend on which version i'm drawing inspo from
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i'm writing essays for university rn and i keep writing in little puns/jokes. because my theory is if the marker is in a good mood (from laughing at my brilliant jokes) then they'll give me a better grade, right??
and i've just realised. the marauders (james, sirius, remus, and peter) would so do that. for every single essay/assignment.
#it'd probably work on most of their teachers tbh.#i mean mcgonagall definitely not. she's not marking higher for a joke. but she'd like draw a smiley face or write 'haha' next to it#would 100% work on flitwick (which annoys lily cause charms are one of her best subjects and james getting higher than her for a JOKE)#marauders era#marauders#sirius black#james potter#remus lupin#peter pettigrew
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very late on this but it's so funny that the DLC missions with Sayo in Cyber Sleuth states that Sayo beat the Seven Demon Lords with only Dianamon, implying she's such an epic gamer™ that she beat seven superbosses with one (1) Digimon who by game mechanics has low defense and is also at a type disadvantage against all of them
#digimon#digimon story cyber sleuth#i mean if this was with digimon world dusk mechanics then i'd buy it tbh#sayo probably evolved and degenerated her dianamon a million times to max all her stats and equipped her with the best equips#so when she went up to each of the demon lords she was basically one-punch mon#by the way where did the rest of her team go. dawn gives her the canon team of dianamon mirage gaogamon and lotusmon#which is carried over to her cameo in super xros wars as the gold tamer rank up opponent with them being her last team#why did she only have dianamon in cyber sleuth. where'd the other two go
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2023 reads
The Spirit Bares Its Teeth
YA gothic horror
Victorian fantasy where mediums can commune with spirits - if they’re registered and controlled
a trans boy attempts become a Speaker as a boy, but is found out, threatened with an arranged marriage, and sent to a finishing school to ‘cure’ girls from veil sickness (hysteria)
he quickly realises girls are disappearing and their ghosts start begging him for help, and he tries to investigate and expose the horrors of the place, and survive
autistic trans boy MC, trans girl love interest
#The Spirit Bares Its Teeth#aroaessidhe 2023 reads#this is really really good just as i expected it to be#it's kind of...small scale?#i was like oh im probably almost at halfway then realised i was at 70% lmao#which i think is probably best for the story it is#(like as the authors note says; it doesn't really get into the race side of things and it's probably not his place to tell that story -#and if the story was bigger scale it would be more of glaring ommission in the narrative)#tbh less disgusting and gory than i expected. i mean it IS but like. that seems to be the only thing people say about it#(obviously conceptually the things that are happening to these kids are absolutely horriffic)#(that’s just me talking about literal gore/on page stuff)#anyway it's really good
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#ok I’m still on my bullshit but after this THEN I’m going to drop it lol#because he absolutely doesn’t deserve the air he’s desperately seeking#but the thing about him teasing a track list is that he’s obviously baiting the swifties for engagement and the thrill of the controversy#(which is why he did the bit in the podcast the other week too even though he claimed not to care or whatever)#and it goes either one of two ways#either it’s all a bit and there’s nothing really about Taylor on his new album because he’d be telling on himself#or he does his own expose and makes it about her even when he said it was beneath him#either way it just gets swifties mad and keeps his name out there#and gives him the edgelord fuckboi validation he craves#but the problem is that there probably isn’t anything he can ‘reveal’ for shock value that Taylor hasn’t already done herself#(I say probably… you never know)#so she’s already kind of cut him off at the knees#and tbh i feel like anything else he could possibly reveal would by and large just make him look like an asshole#cause what’s he going to do… write about how she was obviously in love with him? ok but he still factually ghosted her after three weeks#(I say ‘obviously’ as in the way he writes her in his own words… I’m not saying anything about her feelings about it)#so he still comes out looking like either a bad guy or a coward on balance#and like what… that he seduced the troubled pop star? ok well she went there first#like he can give details but that’d be like a kiss and tell#but ultimately it’s going to be he said she said#and she said it first and said it best so it’ll knock the wind out of his sails regardless#which is what i was getting at earlier about writing and releasing WCS#it draws the poison out and solidifies agency#so anyway he’s a dumbass narcissist and probably ********* and who the fuck cares what he does lol#he just wants people to take the bait#goodnight tumblr
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I gave myself a writing challenge and I am fascinated by it
So basically I put the robins in a randomizer to give them a new order/role (because I just...kinda wanted to see what would happen + I like role-reversal AUs) and got results that are giving me a fucking brain blast.
Stephanie, the first sidekick who defines the role
Tim, the sidekick who dies and comes back wrong
Dick, the sidekick who saves Batman from himself
Damian, the sidekick who was never supposed to be a sidekick but would go on to prove everyone wrong
Jason, the youngest sidekick who is still the Kid Wonder
...So this is fucking wild. I've got some ideas and several of these fit perfectly (Dick's role is pretty similar to his one in canon), but some of these are fucking INCREDIBLE to explore (Steph being the first Robin is something I never even considered but tbh I kinda love it).
I probably won't write a fic or anything because tbh I don't like publishing my writing that much, but I might expand this into a full AU and post about it. I might randomize other stuff too (ie, stuff that I cannot change vs stuff that I cannot keep the same) but this fucking rules as a starting point.
#uhhh what am I calling this??#randomizedrobinsau#stephanie brown#oh my god I am so excited to figure out how tf to write this.#because she's my favorite of these characters and having HER be the first sidekick + the one who has a mentor/older sister relationship#with the others?? kickass. though I'll probably keep her and Tim's relationship as 'dating-then-exes' because I think it's funny#and then SHE can be the Robin who Tim got fixated on + figured out her identity?? holy fuck and then the angst of Tim later dying#Tim Drake#tbh I kinda wish he'd gotten a different position because 'sidekick who dies' Tim has kinda been done a lot with the standard#reverse robin aus. But it'll still be fun to write. Definitely going the Joker Junior route with this because Batman Beyond kicks ass#Dick Grayson#He'll honestly probably be the easiest. Like...his role has not changed much outside of being younger/not the one who defines this#But I still think it'll be good to see how well I know Dick beyond his eldest brother thing (which is my best way of relating to him)#Damian al ghul#damian wayne#oh this is gonna kick ass#Bruce does not want his son to be a sidekick but Damian just kinda forces his way into that role#and everybody doubts him because of his history with the league but he later proves himself more than capable#to the point that he can set out mostly on his own and still thrive#Jason Todd#Jason being the baby of the family is also something I have never thought about but holy shit it could kick ass#I really hope that I don't roll 'Jason must die' or 'Robin 5 must die' on the randomizer. I just kinda want Jason to live this time#But unfortunately I double-screwed him because he's on the 'must happen' wheel twice now. I did not think these prompts through#TBH I am so happy that none of them rolled their OG roles. because that would have been so fucking boring
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I need more tired bear posts.
#im fucking exhausted TVT#idek know why?????#like- today was actually pretty alr???#we went 2 the fair but my mom ended up getting heat exaughtion som only went on 3 rides total#nd then ended up makijg her actually take a break and we needed to go#which. disappointing tbh bcs i was having fun bit also prob for the best#anyways not im fucking Exasted for. no reason??? TvT#its probably hst being around so many ppl tbh but i am. tireddddd#enea rambles <3#also unrelated totally but parents pls ffs know how to take care of urself so ur kid doesnt have to constantly try and do it for you??#lol-
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