#which is probably for the best tbh
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in internet posts it is easy to cut them out of your life. they are hurting you! they aren't listening to you!
they held your hair back. they lent you lipstick. they held your hand at the train station and got you home safe. they rounded on your bully, got loud, said get fucked, spitting-mad in your defense.
they also cut the hair off again. told you that you should really think twice before wearing something like that. took you for granted. took your insecurities and threw them in your face again.
you know logically it should be easy. all the internet advice comments always read it will feel better. like an equation - if a person is rotten, you just remove them. you pull the tooth that's hurting.
but it was never a big flare-up moment. you don't live in a sitcom. they never tried to take your boyfriend or steal from your apartment. they showed up to birthdays and they wrote songs about you and bring you water without you asking. once you found out they carry an emergency inhaler for you, even though you haven't had an asthma attack in years - just in case.
where is the line? people fuck up. sometimes they fuck up badly. sometimes people have raw personalities, like a powerline, and being around them is dangerous. addicting. sometimes they can't help themselves, but you know they're trying. sometimes they are just rough-around-the-edges. sometimes they don't even realize how they sounded when they said that. sometimes it's just - you've both loved each other for so long now, the way this thing hurts goes back to the root.
and that's the fucked up part. you have pushed your fingers against the sweetheart of memory. things these days are electric, tense, harrowing. they didn't used to be. there were a lot of good days in there. sometimes you want to just close your eyes and say can this be over yet? do we still need to be fighting?
doing that would give up any chance you get of getting an apology, but you don't always know that you need an apology, you love them. once they flaked on your birthday party. once they told you to get over it, people are always dying. they also let you crash on their couch for a week after the breakup, handfeeding you when you were so sad you couldn't eat. they are also judgmental about everything, occasionally react to banal statements with an attitude that is weird and fiery. they also love you like a lighthouse sometimes, so strong they cut the storm like lightning.
but the problem is that you might be storm. you might be the thing that needs breaking. what if you are two forces who are desperately, horribly drawn to each other, shaped by the other person's passions, and both good for each other and bad in equal measure.
what if you're both just people, and you're no saint neither.
just cut them off! swallowing the saltwater, you catch yourself in the mirror. you've been shaking more than usual. there's an ache in you that is oblique, loud, impossible to soothe. is this what it looks like? when life is "easier"?
your mouth will always have a hole, is the thing, if you remove the tooth.
#spilled ink#warm up#writeblr#this is about someone specific but feel free to blorbo on main.#tbh this is familial for me so that is an element but it's also about childhood best friends#and probably about ur enemies to lovers blorbo#(but i want to specifically say if ur partner is like this. not necessarily a good partnership lol.)#(the dynamics at play in familial/friend relationships feel equally important and in some ways are HARDER to escape.#bc we can see that this is a potentially toxic romantic foundation.#but in family ? ...... it's toxic and it doesn't stop u from loving them. bc u always have.#and i think that makes it harder. by a lot. which is what this is referencing).#but genuinely and really truly forever feel free to tag ur potentially toxic enemies to lovers on this and all my poetry#here i'll do one for u - adora & catra :x
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About a decade ago, my 65 year old conservative father binge watched a tv show on netflix and he became absolutely obsessed with it–to the point my mom and I were sick of hearing about it–so he decided to go on the internet to find other people who loved this show as much as he did and boy oh boy, he was not prepared to see what happened when you googled the phrase "Supernatural fan communities."
#supernatural#spn#destiel#nov 5th#he still loved the show after this#which is even funnier tbh#its probably for the best that he passed away before 2020#because i think his head would have exploded#birdy chirps
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GOD I forgot how much it sucks having a crush on someone </3
#fitz's cursed thoughts#I haven't had a crush in years#it was fun at first because I was like wow I haven't felt this way about anyone in forever :]#now I'm like dear god the pain how do I make this stop </3#of course I don't I'll ever have the courage to tell them how I feel#which is probably for the best tbh#every time I've had a crush on someone it doesn't end well#anyone I ever confessed to either acted like i'm weird or creepy or they just straight up left me without saying anything#not making the mistake of admiting I have feelings for someone again (especially someone i really really like talking to lol)#also to clarify I don't mean I hate having feelings for someone#I just mean i hate the pain that comes with it#like i want to tell them so bad but I care about them so much and enjoy talking to them#that I don't want to scare them away or make them think I'm creepy or anything like that#and for all I know they could already have a partner#idk I just forgot how hard this was 😔
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At some point in your life, there will be a moment where exactly - or near exactly - half the people in the world are younger than you, and half the people are older.
And I think that moment should be the one your soulmate Mark appears at, not at birth or puberty or something. Both because at birth is kind of boring but it's also very you-centric and soulmates are about the thing outside of you being a part of you, and I think it would be nice to include The World.
But also I think it would have fascinating implications for scientific and social studies. Longevity trends tracked by the average age soul marks appear. Tragedies causing a rash of recent marks to disappear (because the people are no longer the middle). Marks appearing early during baby booms.
#soulmates#i just think it would be neat#and let people survive their teenage years#and discover who they are before they get told who they're matched with#gives everyone a chance to fall in love naturally#AND best of all#it means YOUR mark may appear now but if your soul mate is younger than you#it wouldn't appear for them yet#meaning a new dynamic and honestly less stress i think#because if you fall in love with someone not your soulmate you wouldn't necessarily know#unless you were the exact same age somehow#which tbh since soulmates isn't romantic a large portion of the time#twins probably share a mark#in this world you can have as many soulmates as you want btw#you can have pets be soulmates too but their mark appears when#they're the middle point for their species#i should really sleep#nightblogging
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Silly little comic I made.
#the burnt lettuce part is probably true tbh#van kleiss just seems like the kind of guy who would smell like burnt lettuce#even after he’s no longer literal dirt just figurative dirt#rex actually does regrow limbs he’s like a freaky little mechanical axolotl boy#i wish we’d gotten to see what rex regrowing a limb actually looks like in the show and not just in the comic#it probably would’ve looked really cool and i want to see it#van kleiss probably learned that rex could regrow limbs by nefarious means and rex probably doesn’t remember it#which is probably for the best that man has traumatised him enough#i honestly didn’t mean to have van kleiss deciding to be a dick by giving an answer to noah and not rex#but i didn’t want to just have him stand there in the background because that’s boring#and it somehow fits the pettiness of who he gives information to willingly because it’s not rex and it almost never is#every time i watch the show noah and rex become even more boyfriends to me#also i think noah deserves to get in a dig at vk every once in awhile#like van kleiss did almost have him killed and he had to see van kleiss stabbing rex in the first episode#and van kleiss turned him into an evo once so like#yeah he should get to roast him sometimes#sarcastic unhinged trans noah my beloved#generator rex#generator rex fanart#genrex#genrex fanart#rex salazar#noah nixon#van kleiss#noex#theaxolotlart
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— two things ive never drawn in one, this head angle and him smiling (or grinning here)
#i yapped a lot on the ig post so im keeping this all here#i scrapped the whole original of this and redid it from the start which was the best decision tbh outcome was good#been doing a lot of full white eyes even though its not canon for him#probably gonna draw him more often in just dress pants even though the train part of his outfit is only exaggerated here#dress pants would make more sense for the stuff he does in canon#probably gonna make it two different oufits for him so both are canon#one is just more practical#i assume attempting to take down a cult would be hard to do in this outfit#art#artists on tumblr#my art#digital art#artwork#canine#anthro#furry#furry art#dog#my character#madigan
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They're just lesbian rivals fr fr
#mairuma#gyari#crocell kerori#Ignore irumi n Lindy it not about them /j#Anyways nishi rlly likes Yuri rivals#Idk which is first kerori n gyari or paimon n bachiko#'pushing each other to be the very best by competing it love' - nishi probably#Tbh kerori n gyari probs has the friends to rivals to lovers pipeline idk
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Tim Drake has a weird fucking function
The thing about Tim that I find unique is that his life became SO MUCH WORSE after joining the heroing thing. Everybody else had a mid-to-shit life before becoming a hero/living with Bruce and mostly everybody (except Jason who LITERALLY DIED) had their life improved by being a hero/being Bruce's kid (or at least it is typically portrayed as such.
Tim had the exact opposite trajectory. His life wasn't perfect before he became Robin, but like...multi-millionaire/billionaire (canon is unclear, but he's within Gotham's upper-strata) kid with both natural intelligence + charisma and a bright future ahead of him and parents who were emotionally neglectful but nothing really beyond that (which is also a form of trauma, but all of the info we have indicates that the Drakes were no Arthur Brown or David Cain) and he still had other people he could rely on outside of them. He went to boarding school, which could be something horrible OR something amazing depending on your own thoughts/experiences. I grew up having a commute where we'd drive past a really pretty and rich af boarding school that literally everybody in our area DREAMED of going to, so to me the idea of going to boarding school sounds incredible but mileage may vary. Tim seems like the type of kid who would thrive in that though. Based on what we know in canon atm, his pre-robin life was fucking amazing.
And then he starts being the sidekick and working towards becoming Robin. His parents immediately get kidnapped and poison themselves through drinking tainted water; his mom dies and his dad is in a coma. This is not the fault of Robin, but Tim himself muses about the idea that Robin and dead parents are linked: to become Robin completely, you must lose your parents. And with how fate/destiny/canon events can operate in comics universes, maybe he isn't that far off. Once his dad wakes up, their relationship becomes strained as the man grieves the loss of his wife and realizes that his son has been doing vigilantism as a hobby. It is unclear exactly how good of a parent Jack was before the incident, but the results of Tim's involvement with the Robin mantle has definitely made things worse between father and son. Jack will also die within quick succession of 2 of Tim's best friends, his girlfriend, and his other father. He will also effectively lose like 1/2 his loved ones in the fallout of all of that mess including: his older brother, his other friends (both civilian and superhero), and the stepmother with whom he shared what I would argue is his best parent-child relationship (Dana also may have died, but it's left unclear). He has stopped pursuing higher education (the moment he even applied for college he 'died', and it seems he hasn't made another attempt since) and if he wasn’t a major focus of the media before he sure is now. He tries to quit briefly (in fact he initially was planning on quitting once someone more suited came along) and cannot bring himself to do so. Even when he does manage to get away for a while, his superhero life impacts the pre-robin life he is trying to go back to. Leaving is an impossibility, this is all there is for him now. He also isn’t allowed to make mistakes anymore, not when lives hang in the balance. The one who enforces that impossible standard the most (besides Bruce depending on who's writing) is himself. He’s got TRAUMA now and people want to hurt him constantly. He is constantly questioning his own sanity and morality and place in the world. He almost dies like every month. Tim grows colder and less grounded, he is becoming both a better and a worse version of himself at the same time. He’s saving lives in the same few issues as he’s setting up a Saw movie plot for the man who killed his father. He is haunted by the ghosts of his past and the looming figure of his future. His life becomes SO MUCH FUCKING WORSE after he becomes Robin. Some of it is the fault of others, some is the fault of circumstance, and some of it is due to his own actions. But basically all of Tim's worst traumas and life-changing moments are either tied to or caused by Robin. Dick's parents would still be dead, Jason would still be living on the streets, Stephanie would still have Arthur Brown for a father and a lot of other things that deserve their own posts/IDK if they've been retconned, and Damian would still have been raised in the eco-cult where death is a constant. Those are life circumstances that occur without the involvement of Robin, the only one who even needs Bruce involved at all in their series of events is Damian. But Tim? All of what is considered his 'worst' moments occur after he assumes the role.
This idea is what I find the coolest and most fascinating about Tim as a character. Being a hero is usually portrayed as either an outright awesome thing or a righteous duty that one must fulfill or (maybe in a grimmer and/or more grounded story) a sacrifice to your interpersonal relationships/mental health that is made for the greater good. For Tim, being a superhero actively ruined his life (both because of the general circumstances surrounding being a kid vigilante and the choices he made as part of that role). It's never portrayed that way in canon because we need to come out of issues going 'wow being a superhero is so cool! I'm gonna buy the next issue!', but when you just look at Tim's life literally everything really bad that we know of occurred after he became Robin.
#tim drake#batman#batfamily#Red Robin 2009#Red Robin#idk this is just why I think Tim is a really interesting character. I'm probably not being as articulate as I could be but it's tumblr so#I've had a lot of people say that they think Tim is the most boring robin. And I disagree because I don't think any of them are boring#but it is definitely the hardest to explain what makes Tim interesting to people with only a cursory knowledge#and it doesn't help that a lot of what makes Tim cool relies on his relationships with OTHER characters.#like you can explain why Jason is cool and interesting without even mentioning Batman if you really want to.#with Tim you need a fucking relationship chart and like 11 asterisks whenever anything involving the 'Bruce is dead' era is involved#so I just felt like typing up why I think he can really work as an exploration of somebody who straight up got WORSE after heroing#granted it's never actually stated because DC needs to make money. and tbh the closest we've ever gotten is Red Robin 2009#which I feel is dubiously canon at best at this rate. was it retconned? did any of it happen in the current universe?
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my boyfriend asked me to turn my snake oc into a rabbit. Who am I to say no?
#haven#erica#taran#taran is not a rabbit. he's a meat eater of all time. if anyone were to be an *actual* rabbit in this situation it suits haven the best tbh#which i know is odd. but im serious. erica and taran both have too much fun specifically butchering and eating their prey#taran raises livestock specifically to slaughter and eat in his (extensive) free time and takes a lot of pride in this#he's probably *kept* meat rabbits before#nonetheless; i will obey the exhortations of my partner. who is a bunny furry and who likes my snake oc quite a lot#so bunny!taran it is lol#erica voice i bet you would taste delicious. i am going to eat you. / haven: HEY. if anyone's eating him it is ME. He's MY husband#taran: you didnt WANT to get married. I had to bully you into it so we couldn't testify against each other in court. i think erica has a#case here. / haven: ... / erica: see i get to go first. / taran: well i didn't say that.
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She's just so 🩷
#good coursing day. rough first run. she was accidentally tackled and took a tumble#but recovered beautifully and basically seemed to feel like it was nbd#tbh my heart was in my throat with that tumble so it being minor makes today 10/10 imo#and. because im proud of her. her second run was probably her best run to date#she was right on the lure. didn't lose speed at all. started strong and kept the momentum#also she did not take me on a joy run of the field. which she was just starting to do in the last couple times we went coursing#she barely thrashed the bunny and came right to me when i called her#i wish i hadn't been alone today and could've recorded that second run!!
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gonna download inkscape and see how that works for making .svg files ✌🏻
#i tried exporting existing files as svg and didn’t notice a Massive difference and tbh i’m not sure if svg images themselves are that#different compared to jpgs bc i know u can use coordinates in the code itself to use svgs which is probably the Best course of action but u#see u don’t know how to do that!!! i might if i have to but ill try this first#🎆.txt
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#didn't have a big party for my 30th for reasons that were partly distance and partly insecurities/depression#this year being back closer to where my people are decided to do a big party instead this weekend#my first since my 21st (which was... a struggle for also distance related reasons and may have reinforced said insecurities)#i am having to remind myself. i am doing my best none of us get to practice this life#interrupting this to say i just mindlessly slapped at a tickle on my arm only to discover it was HUGE#not the sandflies we've been getting all day but a moth or something at least a cm big! (i grabbed it and threw it away without looking)#anyway. what was i saying. having a little moment where my insecurities are coming back in the middle of the night#and i wonder if i have - again - asked for less than i truly want because i didn't feel like anyone would give the full thing to me#but the point is: i asked for something i wanted and that's something that takes practice. and the point is: i get to try again next year a#d next year and next year. and the point is: we only live this life once but it is not a short life and there will be more chances#to celebrate with the people i love. to ask for what i want. to learn to listen to what i actually want before i make myself smaller out#of habit#but i DID ask for a party and i DID ask for someone who isn't me to host it (a thing i haven't asked for since probably my 21st tbh) and#that's already growth#and it will be fun! i'm a bit sad that no one from my most recent chapter of life can be there but it's no secret that social was hard ther#so i only have 3 friends i wanted to invite anyway and all of them live several hours away#(and one of them i knew couldn't come already when i planned it - she's at a hens party - but we talked about it and decided to go ahead)#idk. really it's ok. but part of why i'm doing this is as a challenge to my own insecurities (as well as because it will be fun!) and i#really pray this year will see some of those insecurities dwindling. that i will be able to really believe that i am lovable and loved.#that's my prayer.
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I feel like it's the little things about the AAI2 official translation that's going to get me more than the character names
Like the PIC now being the Committee for Prosecutorial Excellence or Logic Chess becoming Mind Chess and 'Wait and See' becoming 'Bide my time'
Its bc I know the character names are changing but I havent thought about all these little things that are going to change too
#like the case names are more than likely going to change too and im not ready for that#the inherited turnabout is a great case name and I'll be sad to lose it#but tbh its not a terrible thing because it means itll be easier to distinguish between the fan and official translations#ace attorney#aai2#i know people keep debating over what to call the characters but honestly im just going to use both#because the characters are going to be different between the two versions due to the translation differences#like Sebastian likes to make references to being the best but Eustace will probably make references to being a winner#or like Ray and Kate have an implied thing for each other but maybe Eddie and ??? won't#its like how das haus anubis is essentially a clone of het huis anubis but the characters have different names and#while the broader plot beats are the same the character interactions change slightly#so theyre still two different shows and are distinguished as such#so basically if i want to talk or write about aai2 the names i use will depend on which version i'm drawing inspo from
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the 1 time i actually laughed out loud during section 31 was when fuzz started naming his offspring and went "trip, trip 2" 😭
#that caught me off guard jsfkbskbfks#anyway. that is all i have to say#i am sick (with just a cold i think but it is -somehow?? - the first time since before the pandemic lmao 😭 soooo)#and i'm a bit delirious and very no thoughts head empty. which was probably the best way for me to watch this movie tbh#ok bye. goodnight and peace and love 😁
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self suck saturday bingo where the free space is whenever trevor takes a pull off his gigantic vape
#boy stayed chiefing that shit. its his rituals you see#wkuk#so sad i did not become a fan around that time (tbh i was in/graduating. highschool. which was a crazy time. so probably for the best)#i think teen me wouldve quite enjoyed watching their many many streams instead of doing my homework#unfortunately i chose to watch a certain ugly doo doo heads streams 🙄 instead of doing my homework
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i'm writing essays for university rn and i keep writing in little puns/jokes. because my theory is if the marker is in a good mood (from laughing at my brilliant jokes) then they'll give me a better grade, right??
and i've just realised. the marauders (james, sirius, remus, and peter) would so do that. for every single essay/assignment.
#it'd probably work on most of their teachers tbh.#i mean mcgonagall definitely not. she's not marking higher for a joke. but she'd like draw a smiley face or write 'haha' next to it#would 100% work on flitwick (which annoys lily cause charms are one of her best subjects and james getting higher than her for a JOKE)#marauders era#marauders#sirius black#james potter#remus lupin#peter pettigrew
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