#which is my best case outcome lol

[sleevesareforlosers]

i might be being precious bc ive been going to chiropractors since i was nine and i am aware that you can recieve good treatment even from a flawed methodology but like. 'they wont cure anything and youll have to keep coming back' is. imo. not true and is a stupid measure of somethings effectiveness. sometimes conditions ARE lifelong and incurable and management is the best and only outcome.

[pynkhues]

"Surviving trauma doesn't make you an expert on other people's trauma" is how I'm paraphrasing your tag. But it's such an important point to me. I feel like not just internet spaces but also societal mental health conversation has been ignoring this for decades. I can talk about this extremely broadly because I think it's one of the problems with 12 step type of addiction treatments. But it's also especially popular in the realm of victims of crime and/or abuse of any kind. Surviving trauma only makes you an expert on your own personal trauma and healing. There is no universal cure for any trauma, everyone needs something different. And treating others requires a level of detachment that rarely exists in amateur survivors of similar trauma. Sorry for preaching about this in your inbox but your tags really reminded me how passionate I am about this. I've experienced people scolding me for abandoning support groups and group therapy types of things when they didn't feel helpful to me because they helped them and "I just didn't give them proper chance".

(x)

Don't apologise, anon! I totally agree, and I'm really sorry that you've had that experience with support groups and group therapies.

I've been thinking about this a lot actually since the Johnny Depp and Amber Heard trial and the horrific treatment of her during all of that, but it's been a pretty big factor in my life these days in general.

Like, look, this is kind of getting a bit in the weeds of my real life right now, but my aunt's very angry at me and my mum at the moment in a way that's been pretty exhausting. (Putting this below a cut because nobody needs to read this, haha)

My aunt is a victim-survivor of some pretty horrific domestic violence. It was many years ago now, and she's done a lot of healing and is in a better place overall, but the situation currently with my sister going through emotional and financial abuse, gaslighting and physical intimidation, with her ex-husband has I think brought up a lot for my aunt, and the result is that she's really trying to dictate the choices that my sister makes as she's going through this.

My aunt has been genuinely so supportive of my sister, but she's also been incredibly judgemental and critical. It's been a really challenging space for their relationship, and, by proxy, my relationship with my aunt, because she calls me (and my mum, who's her sister) up to try and influence my sister's decisions. We're in this current kinda stand-still over it because we're six weeks out from final trial in family court, and my ex-BIL has done something very threatening to my sister, and my aunt wants my sister to get an AVO. We tried to get my sister an AVO last year, and the police told her that until he put her in hospital, they wouldn't give her one. Now my aunt wants my sister to try again, and my sister's lawyers are saying no, because it looks like a play to the judge. They've been in family court for two years, and to try again this close to final trial may be legitimate but to a judge it'll read as a move that could influence her custody of her children.

My sister doesn't want to take that risk, her lawyers don't want to take that risk, and in my opinion, the worst result would be for her to try, have it on the record that she tried, get the same response she did last year that he hasn't put her in the hospital yet, and ergo get no AVO and a bad mark on her heading into court. On top of that - - AVOs don't do shit. They're a piece of paper that maybe bump you up a few spots in the queue when you call the police.

Anyway, my aunt's furious about this and it's become this huge thing where my aunt feels she knows better because she got an AVO, because she's been through this already, because none of us understand what she understands, and I'm like - - it's exhausting, and it's unfair. Their experiences are not the same by any stretch of the imagination, and I hate that a part of me keeps thinking that what happened to my aunt didn't end because of an AVO, it ended because he was a gambling addict and he was killed over an unpaid debt.

My aunt really is trying to do the right thing by my sister, and I love her for that, but there is this disconnect between survivor experiences that can cause an enormous amount of friction and complication, and I think we need to get better in general at acknowledging that.

[coolbanana44]

The Curse - C.L

AN: My first attempt of angst lol. Let me know if you guys want some more angst! Like always let me know you liked it by giving it a like! Requests are open as well.

Summary: Charles being worried about you at his home race.

He was begging to worry. She told he she would be here, he thought. It was his home race and all he has been hearing about is his curse from fans, reporters, interviewers, and even some of his team. He needed you here, supporting him and comforting him the way you always do before the race. You would say mon amour don’t overthink, I can see it all on your face. You are gonna be amazing no matter what happens and I will be so proud of you no matter the outcome. But now you aren’t here to say those comforting words and he is starting to panic as he doesn’t see your smile anywhere in the garage.

You last texted him about 30 minutes ago saying you were leaving from work, which is only 10 minutes away from the track. Maybe you went to get him some coffee from that cafe you like….. or maybe you got stuck in traffic…. Or you were in the bathroom before you came to see him. He didn’t want to think of worrisome scenarios that would make him spiral, but it was 15 minutes till race time and he wanted to see you and give you a kiss and do your secret handshake before he climbs in the car. He was stressing out looking at the red car wanting to make his dad proud, Jules proud, and even his country proud, but right now his focus wasn’t even on the outcome of the race, instead it was making sure you were okay. 

He looked at his phone and decided it was best to call you. But your phone went straight to voicemail as he heard your soothing voice say Hey you’ve reached Y/N! Sorry I couldn’t take your call. He then heard your laugh…… Charles stop it…… Please leave a message at the beep! When he left mis message his engineer told him it was time to get in the car. 

“Give me a minute.” He said as he walked over to his mom and Arthur.

“Hey have you guys heard from Y/N?”

His mother answered.

“No we haven’t. Why is something wrong?” 

“I don’t know, she didn’t answer her phone and she should’ve been here by now.” Pascale could see the distraught in her son's face, so she gave him one of her motherly hugs.   

“Charl I am sure she is fine and that she will be here soon. Finish the race so you can see your girl.”

He was grateful for his mothers words and pulled away from the hug to give her a kiss on the cheek. He walked back to his car and got ready for the race.

—------------------------------------------

20/78 laps and he was doing amazing. He was in third when he overtook Hamiliton on the 19th lap. He was proud of himself for keeping it smooth and steady so far.

“Okay Charles, we are looking to box on the next lap.” He heard the strategist say, but he could also hear his mom yelling in the background.

“What is the commotion about?” He started feeling worried again, not knowing what's

going on.

“Charles focus on the race.” Now he was angry as he could tell his mother was crying and yelling in the back. He lost his temper.

“Tell me now!” His hands gripped the wheel. This time he heard his mom.

“Charles, it seems like Y/N was in a bad accident. Arthur and I are going to the hospital right now.” His heart stopped. He couldn’t stop himself from thinking about the worst case scenario…. That you were dead. 

“I’m retiring the car.” He said stone cold, not wanting to cry while driving. His strategist came back on.

“No Charles you have to finish the–.”

“I SAID I AM RETIRING THE CAR!” He snapped. He couldn’t control his emotions. His heart was beating fast and he could even start to feel how much more his hands were sweating as he headed back to the pit lane. 

—-------------------------------------

He was still in his race suit when he ran through the hospital doors with his mom and brother. He was holding back tears as we walked up to reception.

“Y/N L/N, I’m here for Y/N L/N.” He tried to ignore how his voice cracked when saying your name.

“Are you family sir?” The old lady asked boringly.

“I am her boyfriend. Could you please just let me know where she is?” 

“She is on the 3rd floor room 316. It seems as though she just got out of emergency surgery, so it will be a little while before she wakes up.” He let the tears fall down his face when he heard the word surgery. He didn’t want to even think about how horrendous the crash was for you to be needing emergency surgery.

He didn’t even say thank you as he rushed to your room, not even caring if his mom and Arthur were following him. 

He took a deep breath when he got to your door, making sure not to break down before he sees you. When he finally opens the door he sees a doctor over by the machines writing stuff down in his notes. He then turned his head and saw you. You had a black eye and bruises all littered on your face. Your right arm was in a cast and you had wires all over your body. The sight alone made him want to puke and break down.

“She was T-Boned on the driver's side. We had to do emergency surgery as she had internal bleeding from the impact. She also broke her right arm in two places and we believe that she will have a concussion.” The doctor's voice pulled him out of his trance.

“Is she going to be okay?” He didn’t want to sound small and broken, but in this moment that’s what he was. 

“She will be fine. We are going to be monitoring her for a couple of days just to make sure that there weren't any complications with the surgery. I will give you some privacy.”

As the doctor walked out of the room, Charles made his way to your bed. He quickly bent down and grabbed your hand. He analyzed all the cuts and bruises on your face and was still amazed about how you were still the most gorgeous person he has ever seen.

  “Hi mon ange. I am so very glad you are okay.” he whispered. And it was like he was in a movie, cause as soon as he stopped speaking he heard you groan and start to flutter your eyes open. Once your eyes adjusted to the light you looked over at him. You smiled your perfect smile. Charles' heart warmed instantly when he heard your voice.

“Cha.” That was all you needed to say for him to start crying happy tears.

[starryyskies]

Lil update in case y’all care ( ꩜ ᯅ ꩜;) 

I’m moving from my shit apartment starting the beginning of august, and my current semester ends near august 13th. My next semester starts almost 2 weeks after (classes start on the 22nd but it’s good to get it started earlier since most classes open early).

Hopefully by then I’ll be moved out, feel more organized and less stressed, and manage my time a bit better.

Classes are going well despite being super fucking stressful, I’m at the very least passing for now lol

But as for drawing, besides that one doodle I finished and coloured, I haven’t been able to do anything at all. It really disappoints me because I see all this amazing art and my fomo (fear of missing out) gets so bad lol. But I am being responsible and doing my best (╥ᆺ╥；)

Thank you guys for your support and kindness and understanding ( ⸝⸝´꒳`⸝⸝)

So in case you’re curious my struggles currently read below lol

So, the place I work at, my store is a corporation and we’ve been basically getting babysat by managers from other stores who are also watching their own store, getting paid a shit amount for creating and maintaining not just the scheduling for both stores, but also managing any issues that arise. So we’re on our 4th manager now, and while he’s the sweetest and fucking raddest manager of all times, he is doing the bare minimum for our store. And trust me, I do NOT blame him. To be honest, he is getting paid salary for being a manager of his own store, and it’s like 56k a year or something which isn’t bad at all. But watching a completely different store?

75. Dollars. A WEEK?! That is LITERALLY a slap in the face. That is the CEO saying a big ass fuck you to its employees. So of course he’s doing the bare minimum. Coping and pasting parts of the schedule, he never comes into our store, and while he’s attentive when it comes to issues, he’s our only source of upper management support we have.

We have workers who have worked with the company for 3+ years, 8+ years, and 20 years. They know what they’re doing, but when I am running the shift by myself, I can’t rely on my coworkers to get back to me, because they are not obligated to.

So the schedule is pretty awful sometimes. Sometimes we’re over staffed when we could’ve used the help other times, sometimes we’re severely understaffed. Like for example, today was a shit show. We had 3 people during our busiest time. (I work at a coffee shop) and so we have one person on register who also takes care of the food and packs the deliveries, and then one person on the coffee bar is not enough to handle the amount of drinks they get, so I was basically running back and forth to support both positions while also making sure my coworkers got their breaks. Icing on the cake was when we realized it was way too hot inside the cafe and learned our AC is broken AGAIN! It was 84 degrees before I left work. That is miserable running around taking care of hot drinks and food.

This is something I deal with at least 2 times a week

While also doing school work full time, having a strict deadline to follow to submit assignments (thankfully it’s all online so I can be somewhat flexible)

And on top of all of that, I’m moving in 2 weeks, school finals will be going on by then, and life has been kicking my family in the ass.

My step dad, who I’ve know since I was 6-7, he’s been that second dad to me, I think of him as a hero. He unfortunately has been diagnosed with single cell lung cancer. It had spread to his ribs and femur. While he’s still fighting and going through aggressive treatment, I’m not sure what the outcome will be. He’s putting on a strong face, so I can’t tell how serious it is.

My grandfather is also in the hospital. He’s had a heart condition that requires him to wear an AED pacemaker in his chest, and recently it was used because he had a seizure. He’s not doing too well, and who knows what will happen.

Oh! And my older sister’s wedding is IN TWO MONTHS! I’m the damn maid of honor, and I do nottttt like the attention. She’s the kinda person who likes big fancy weddings but she’s doing her best financially to make it happen, though she also was promoted to manager for her store (we work for the same company) and going through that crazy long training is surly not fun lol.

But anyway, thanks for reading my rambles. Sometimes I feel like nobody really cares but I get reminded that there are people out there who are wondering how I am. So this is for you people

(⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝)₊˚⊹ ᰔ

[mrs-weasley-reid]

BUBBLEGUM BAIT

Aaron Hotchner x undercoveragent!reader

Sypnosis: Aaron goes undercover to rescue you. Turns out, you were already planning your escape. WARNING: curse words, violence, sexual advances, and innuendos (and more, tell me if you spot them) A/N: this is my first Aaron Hotchner post, have mercy lol.

Derek whistled, a mischievous grin plastered on his face. "Old money, hot daddy."

Emily burst out laughing, throwing her head back against her seat. David gave his best—he really didn't—to fight the chuckle threatening to rattle out of him, settling for a tight-lipped smirk.

"I was going to say that!" Penelope argued, turning to Hotch with a huge grin on her face. "Them ladies are 'bout to get an extremely Hotch meal."

Aaron depressingly placed a hand over his forehead, weighing all his options and regretting all his decisions. His ears glowed bright pink.

It wasn't like he had never worn a suit before, but this suit wasn't particularly the same as the ones he wore every day. This one smelled strong and titillating, radiating opulence and grandeur.

His hair was out of control as if he was a rabid man. The cologne that laced on the sides of his neck was reminiscent of asshole and arrogance. It would've been fine if he was still in college, but he was four decades into his lifetime, for Pete's sake.

He felt a hand squeeze his shoulder, turning to find the culprit of his demise. "You don't have to do this, Agent Hotchner." The woman with salt and pepper hair gave him an apologetic look.

— ✦ — ✦ ✦ — ✦ ✦ ✦

"We're still working on identifying the victim. It's like she never lived here." Penelope stated as she pressed a button on the remote control.

"That's because she didn't." They all turned to find a woman in her sixties, accompanied by a younger man half her age. She stepped inside the conference room, "Jeanne Renaud, chief of the Lyon Interpol Headquarters."

Aaron stood up, offering a hand. "Aaron Hotchner." He gave her a curt nod. "I didn't get any notice about your arrival. We're unfortunately about to work on a case."

A tight-lipped smile ran along her lips, motioning for the man behind her.

The man began to distribute folders around the table just as she started to speak once more.

"The victim is Liliane Zairsev. She's from Paris and a suspected victim of sex trafficking. A month ago, we found out that this organization was moving here to America. One of us was tasked to work undercover. We haven't heard from that agent in a week. Three days later, we heard the news about dead women who had the same victimology as the ones in the file Liam handed out." She breathed deeply, crossing her arms close to her chest.

"Thirty-two victims?" David raised an eyebrow. If three was a horrifying sign in their line of jobs, he couldn't imagine the terror of the number he just mentioned.

"We need our agent back, Agent Hotchner. We need your help." Jeanne pleaded, worry flickering in her eyes.

— ✦ — ✦ ✦ — ✦ ✦ ✦

"The night starts with auctions. There are two types of categories, dine in or take out. We're not sure which one she's in. We don't even know if she really is there. No matter what, once you find her, fight for her worth." Liam explained, checking the wires that hung like vines around Aaron's body.

Aaron kept silent, running every possible outcome in his head. He wasn't new to auction events, but how would he show eagerness rather than desperation? How was he going to save you without everyone figuring out that he was a federal agent and possibly risking both of your lives?

Liam straightened himself, signaling to Aaron that he was done. "Dine in or take out. As long as you choose an exclusive package deal, they will grant you a private room. That's where they would possibly prepare her for—" He paused, clenching his jaw.

As your close friend, he wasn't comfortable talking about you in such disrespectful ways. But Liam knew how vital every single piece of information he gave Aaron was.

"—your pleasure... She will likely be sedated, but she fights like a lion. Just calm her down and get her out of that hell hole."

It didn't take a whole team of profilers to know that Jeanne and Liam didn't merely take this mission as part of their job. It was personal. It was family. You were their family, and they wanted you back.

"I'll get her back." Aaron promised, earning a nod from the younger man. He plugged the earbud that Liam handed him.

Everyone waited for Aaron in front of the building. Some of them, Penelope and Derek, have yet to fade their teasing smiles.

But JJ was the one who had an encouraging smile, "You look good." She said as she dusted the lapel over his shoulders. "Take her back home to her family."

David threw a set of keys in his direction, "Don't hurt her. She's the only wife that stayed for more than ten years."

Aaron let out a small chuckle, eyeing a 1984 black Cadillac Eldorado Biarritz convertible. "I'll bring her back by midnight." He got in the driver's seat, feeling the texture of the wheel.

If only David had the kindness to whip his vintage cars out every case, Aaron would've loosened up the lines on his forehead.

"Always remember, we're inside your head." Emily pointed at her ear, creepily grinning at him

"We'll be following you too, of course. We're going to surround the place, so don't hesitate to call us in." Derek added, chuckling at Emily's words.

Aaron nodded, taking a deep breath. Now or never.

— ✦ — ✦ ✦ — ✦ ✦ ✦

"Struggling will only make it hurt more." The man with sculpted arms growled, glowering at your smaller body compared to him.

Cuffs bit the skin around your wrists and ankles. Cold hovered all over your exposed skin. With the little amount of coverage on your body, naked was the closest you could describe yourself.

The man held you by the neck, treating you like an animal for exhibition. He was getting off your winces. How a small whimper would shiver out of your lips when he dragged you too fast. He thought he could do them to you just because you were sedated.

If he only knew how much you wanted to smash his face on the wall. But you had to keep an act.

Besides, that was all he could do. Watch. Because you were for other people to ogle at. For disgusting, cowardly men who couldn't make their wives cum, much less you, even if you tried.

You were a new addition to their attraction. Tonight was your first night. And you planned for it to be the last.

A woman who was trying her best to avoid eye contact with you walked the opposite way of where you were headed. She carried a tray, where a small letter knife sat seductively.

Half of her face was lined by a scar, dragging diagonally across her left temple down to her right cheek. Although the scar was visible, you couldn't help but notice how beautiful her eyes were. They were of bright grey-blue.

Without missing your chance, you purposely bumped into her, falling on your feet. "Sorry," You weakly smirked, swiping the knife in a blink of an eye.

"You fucking bitch! Look where you're going, you ugly shit!" The man shouted at the woman, kicking the tray in the middle of her picking it up.

You drilled in your head how many times you would apologize to her when you managed to escape the place and watch it crumble down during your arrest.

"It was my fault," You defended timidly. Despite the mental promise of keeping an act of being sedated, you couldn't just stand there and let her take all the blame.

The man glared at you and swung his arm. You prepared for the harsh impact, but another guy called out his name.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing? Are you fucking stupid?!" The other man yelled; he had blonde hair and an awful beard.

You took that chance to slip the knife on your back, strapped under your bra's band, hiding it beneath the cascade of your hair. You bit your bottom lip, your movement causing a slight sting to shoot down your spine. At least you were certain that the knife was sharp.

The blonde man yanked you to his side protectively, as if what he was about to do was going to be a god-like behavior. "She's a new attraction. No one would pay if she's damaged. A bruise would lose us thousands of dollars, you stupid fuck." He lectured the other, nudging you to move.

— ✦ — ✦ ✦ — ✦ ✦ ✦

Aaron immediately felt dirty just by standing amongst the men that impatiently waited for some tits to jiggle or ass to bounce across the one-way mirror.

Each of them either held wads of cash or a glass of their chosen drinks. Most of them were wealthy nobodies, but Aaron recognized a few politicians from distant cities.

He lifted a glass close to his lips. Aaron has been catering the drink for a good two hours now, sipping little drops to keep himself sober and alert.

So far, he hasn't seen you. There just might be hope that you were simply in hiding but safe regardless. He has seen fifteen women being shown off like antiques, the men screaming for their high prices. If he could only buy all of them to safety, he would. But Aaron was there for you and you only.

"Gentlemen! Here's our special and last beauty of the night! She's new! Fresh! And untouched! She is available for dine in to the highest bidder!"

Aaron's grip on his glass tightened.

— ✦ — ✦ ✦ — ✦ ✦ ✦

Jeanne slid a picture of you toward Aaron. "She's a brave one." Her breath hitched, fighting the urge to cry in front of profilers.

Your hair was tied up away from your face, revealing all your beautiful facial features. You were no doubt a gorgeous woman.

But besides your attractive face, Aaron's eyes were drawn to the gold necklace that sat on your chest. It was a gladiolus flower. A hidden smile spread over his lips.

It symbolizes strength and power. He immediately knew you were someone who always put up a fight.

— ✦ — ✦ ✦ — ✦ ✦ ✦

Your hair almost hid the beauty of your face, but Aaron recognized the necklace around your neck even from afar. It was you.

"$20,000!"

"$50,000!"

"50! Anyone want to top that? What? I heard $80,000!"

"100,000 dollars!"

Aaron stared at your dagger, glaring eyes. He let a smirk twitch his lips.

You knew.

You knew where you were. You knew men were fighting for you. You knew. Which meant, you weren't sedated at all.

"Smart girl," He mumbled to himself before announcing, "Five billion."

The crowd went quiet. And if Aaron had been honest, he would've paid more because you were worth more.

Sadly, the bureau had a budget. He had to limit himself to 500 thousand and could move to 1 million if needed, but he'd explain his actions in the privacy of his office later on.

In that moment, he only needed to rescue you.

The announcer grinned maniacally, hitting the gavel against the sounding block. "One night dine in with this beauty, sold!"

— ✦ — ✦ ✦ — ✦ ✦ ✦

You weren't sure what type of man was unlucky enough to buy your time tonight. You bet he wouldn't expect a violent woman like you.

In spite of your display earlier, you were now clothed with more fabric. Lace to be specific.

They made you change into a black lace set. The bra pushed up every tits you could offer. A cheeky underwear that made your ass rounder. A garter around your waist that hooked on your black stockings that hugged your thighs deliciously.

You moved the letter knife on your right thigh. Easy access under the short black satin nightgown. You were prepared for battle.

The door swung open and came in the blonde man who seemed to keep his eyes on you. "Sit on the chair." He demanded.

You internally protested but obliged. He placed back your handcuffs, bringing your wrists together. In his mind, there was no other way for you to escape but the door.

"This guy paid a lot for your time. Don't mess up. Or I'm going to make you regret it." He threatened before leaving the room.

— ✦ — ✦ ✦ — ✦ ✦ ✦

The payment process was crucial. Money was an immediate factor, and Aaron mentally apologized to David for using his card and for memorizing his bank account information.

They led him down a hall filled with private rooms. Pornographic noises echoed as they passed each door. Most were from men. And if the voice of a woman managed to vibrate across the walls, they were a plea to be let go.

Aaron swore his ears were bleeding with disgust.

"This will be your room, Sir. Enjoy." The man excitedly said. He leaned a little, placing a hand on the side of his mouth to hide the words he was about to say, "I say you get the best out of this one. Everyone's dying to get a taste."

He managed to hold his fists back, urging a smug smirk to roll over his lips. "Then, I suggest you don't disturb us," Aaron stated before watching the man nod and walk away.

Aaron held the knob with hesitation. He wasn't sure of what he was going to be met with. He took a deep breath and twisted the knob, pushing the door open.

There you were, sat on a chair, patiently waiting for him.

The image was to be treasured, but Aaron had to remind himself that he wasn't any similar to the men who frequented that place.

A spark flickered in your eyes. Your lips slowly curved onto a smirk. "Hey, old man." You started in a teasing tone. "You can't just stand there and keep the door open."

Aaron's eyebrows knitted, but closed the door nonetheless after checking that the coast was clear from listening ears. "I'm Aaron Hotchner—" You cut him off.

"Strip." You casually ordered, taking him by surprise.

He studied you for a moment, keeping his mouth from any type of noise. Were you sober? Was his first question.

"What are you? A cop? Fed? It's fine. It doesn't matter. Now, Aaron, strip. They're watching." Your head motioned towards the direction of the camera in the corner of the ceiling.

He took off his jacket and then began to undo his tie. "Fed. How did you know? We were thorough on my... disguise." Aaron couldn't believe he was referring to his appearance as a disguise.

You rolled your eyes, "A fine-looking man like you doesn't look the type to wear a wrinkly shirt. You're obviously wired." Your voice echoed in a matter-of-fact tone. "You took your first step with your left foot when you got inside the room, but it's clear to me that your dominant is your right. You have a gun. Which I think is pretty impractical. Come closer, you're here to fuck me, remember?" Your brows were raised, impatient for him to move.

Aaron would be lying if he said your words weren't affecting him. "You have a good eye." He stood before you, glowering down your face.

"Or you're just a bad undercover." You smirked, "What are you waiting for? Kiss me."

A silent huff escaped your lips when he froze. You stood up and began unbuttoning his shirt. "You're very quick to have cold feet, Agent Hotchner." The way his name rolled off your tongue was distracting.

"Hold my waist—" You swiftly grabbed his hands and placed them on your sides, "—once you have a character to play, you embody it. Because it'll get us both killed if you don't." You kissed a little of his exposed chest and looked up at him with a hairpin stuck between your lips. "Now, kiss me." You repeated in a muffled sound.

Aaron finally caught up with your plans. He leaned down and owned your lips, kissing the pin from you. With one hand, he took the pin and reattached your lips together as he began to unlock your cuffs from between your bodies.

You pulled him closer, tugging his belt loops. You led the two of you on the corner of the room, under the vision of the camera. And just as your back made contact with the wall, you felt your hands free.

You pulled away with a gasp of relief, "Thank god, I thought I had to fuck your brains out before you could even understand." You heaved, rotating your wrist to let the blood circulate once again.

Aaron looked away, "Sorry." He couldn't help but notice your closeness.

"Mhm, must be that old-fashioned you've been sipping like coffee."

His gaze shifted back to you. The taste might've been lingering on his lips, but the action he took? How did you know he was taking his time with his drink? Aaron would think that you're a profiler if he didn't know any better.

"You owe me a bubblegum," You exclaimed, pulling him back from his trance. "I prefer a proper old fashioned. Whoever made your drink was pitiful."

Aaron raised a brow, "I'll pay you a box of bubblegum just for that statement." His eyes were drawn to your purple wrists. "Did they hurt you?" He asked, fanning his breath on your skin.

"They wouldn't even if they wanted to. My beauty has never failed to save my ass." You chuckled, getting a whiff of his scent. Your nose crinkled, "Who made you wear that nasty cologne?"

He chuckled at your expression, "Jeanne."

Your face softened, nodding. "Makes sense. She has bad taste in men."

Aaron was having too much fun, when a voice echoed in his head.

"Hotch, are you there? If you don't answer, we're going to barge in."

He pressed the microphone, "We're fine."

"We?" Derek questioned from the other line.

Aaron told the team that he'd found you, using your first name with such gentleness in his voice. "We're about to make our way out." He announced, still flushed against you, caging you in his build.

"[Earlier, she was just 'the victim,' but now, you're on a first-name basis?" Emily teased, which Aaron rolled his eyes on.

Your brows knitted, confused by his expressions. While he busied himself chatting with whoever was speaking in his ear, you began climbing on him like he was a ladder.

You fished your knife and cut the wire of the camera. Aaron's height was a huge help for you to reach such a high place.

He helped you get down, gently holding your waist to guide you. "Don't tell me you were already planning to escape?" Aaron was filled with amusement.

"I was going to kill you if you weren't a fed." You shrugged, walking out of his body cage. You picked up his jacket from the floor, "Mind if I borrow this?"

"It doesn't suit me anyways," Aaron kidded, earning a soft smile from your still plumped lips.

"[Oh, really?]" Derek taunted in his ear. Snickers rang through the speaker, and Aaron was thankful that you couldn't hear anything.

You glanced back at him, "Tell your friends we're on our way out. They should meet us halfway. The guys outside are not skilled in combat, but they have guns. We'd be dead before they can even shout 'hallelujah' if they don't move now." You slipped your arms inside the sleeves of the jacket.

The jacket could almost swallow your whole body. You rolled the sleeves up a little, allowing yourself some movement. Aaron couldn't take his eyes off you. He loved the way his clothes looked way better on you, even if it wasn't his in the first place.

"Did you get that?" Aaron spoke to his ear, nodding when he got a confirmation. He glanced at you with a stern look, and you two would never admit the small tug on his lips. "Let's get you out of here."

You scoffed, "Your help is just a bonus. I'm saving myself out of this hell."

With silent agreement, you opened the door, immediately greeted by two men who were about to check on your state.

"Hey—"

You didn't give one of them a chance to finish shouting when you kicked the protrusion on his neck straight into the center of his throat.

Aaron's eyes widened. Did France Interpol really need the BAU's help? You definitely didn't look like you did.

You took the two men all by yourself, stepping on someone's back as you placed a hand on your hip. You stared at Aaron with disbelief. "You just gonna stand there?"

Before he could even respond, Aaron saw a man about to attack you from behind. He pulled you by the waist with one hand and punched the man with the other.

"You okay?" Aaron twisted his neck in your direction, hand still on your waist.

A wide grin swiped over your lips, adrenaline pumping through your veins. And your body moved like it was dancing to upbeat music.

The two of you fought your way out of the hallway. It made every second of waiting to escape worth it.

By the time the team met you, you and Aaron had beaten up about half of the men in the place, minus those who were merely guests.

— ✦ — ✦ ✦ — ✦ ✦ ✦

Jeanne attacked you with a tight embrace, cutting your air supply. "I'm so glad you're safe! Oh, mon dieu!"

Next came Liam, punching your arm. He offered a welcoming smile. "I told you to always keep your tracker with you." He scolded lightly.

"I did!" You reasoned, a playful smile over your face. "I swallowed it, but I didn't expect to shit it out and flush it down the toilet." If you were lying it would've been way easier, but you weren't.

The BAU team introduced themselves one by one. You flashed them the same sweet smile you had on your picture.

"Behavioral analysis unit..." You nodded in thought. "Sounds real." You added with a teasing smile.

Their eyes couldn't help but notice how Aaron's jacket still sat around your shoulders. They weren't so slick as they thought, "It's collateral." You lifted your shoulders.

They looked at you with narrowed eyes. A chuckle coming out of your lips, you motioned your head in Aaron's direction where he was talking to Jeanne and a short-haired, dirty blonde woman.

"He owes me," You announced playfully.

Spencer was the first to furrow his brows closer than it already was. Why would their boss owe you? Aaron saved you. If anything, you owe his unit chief.

"I can hear you judging me, Dr. Reid." You said without moving your gaze onto his. "Is that a side effect of being a genius?"

Emily's mouth flung open, "How'd you know he's a genius? He looks like one, right? Right?" She was friendlier than you had concluded.

You smiled, glancing at Spencer. "I've been an undercover for sixteen years. Reading someone became my second nature. I suspect it's the same for all of you since you can't stop knitting your brows as if you're reading a difficult textbook."

"Sixteen? How old are you?" Derek had a great estimation of your age; everyone did.

"She's thirty-six. So old, right?" Liam wrapped an arm around you, grinning.

"You started when you were twenty?" Spencer curiously asked. An underlying question in his mind. How?

You pursed your lips, a small pop echoing between all of you. "You know those movies where the character was raised to her parents' trophy?" They nodded simultaneously, like children eager for their mother's story. "My life was kind of like that." You explained carefully.

The others joined you, making short eye contact with Aaron. Jeanne stood next to you. "And we're sad that she's retiring." She announced lightly.

JJ looked at you in awe. You were only a few years older than her. It was inspiring to hear your story. "What are you gonna do after you retire?"

"Find a job that's less undercover work, but still occupies most of my days. Old habits die hard." In short, you didn't have a plan. All you knew was that after the case, you didn't want to work as undercover anymore.

"Come work with us!" Penelope blurted, earning everyone's attention. She glanced at Aaron, "We have an opening. Right, Hotch?" A sly smile decorated her cheery face.

Aaron raised his eyebrows, then met your gaze. He still owed you a box of bubblegum if he remembers clearly. And seeing your gorgeous face and watching you take down unsub more often didn't sound like such a horrible idea.

He bit the threatening smirk on his lips. "Yeah, I think we do."

[torialefay]

☀️ Everyday Idol 🌙 (Chapter 4) ✨

✨ possible bangchan x reader (f), possible jungkook x reader (f)

✨ head on over to my masterlist if you haven’t checked out the previous chapters!

✨wc: ~4.5k

✨ friends to lovers? possible love triangle? future angst and smut??? definitely fluff.

✨ summary: JYP Entertainment launches a new show and y/n somehow gets recruited. Even though she doesn’t particularly care about the outcome of the show, she does particularly care about one of the artists she met: Chris from Stray Kids. Does Chris feel the same or will a potential relationship with one of his friends overcome what y/n feels for him?

✨ author’s notes: pls pls pls let me know if you’d prefer shorter, more frequent chapters like this one, OR longer chapters posted about once per week. i’m heavily debating lol

✨ warnings: cursing from time to time.

Previous Chapter Recap:

As wonderful as the daydream was, Chan suddenly snapped out of it. He froze, standing rigid, then almost tumbling back. There’s no way.

There you stood in front of him. With all the beauty that you were. But you were with someone. A man. Chan squinted to see what he could make out. Jungkook? Fuck, that was definitely Jungkook.

You smiled up at him and clung onto him for a long hug. He gave in, leaning his head down to plant a small kiss on the top of your forehead. With that, you giggled, waved, then ran inside the company building.

With that, Chan felt his heart shatter for the very first time.

Through the building’s glass walls, he watched as you made your way a little further, then stopped to bring your phone out. 10 seconds later, he felt a buzz from his phone.

From: y/n’s instagram

Hey, I’m here :) Should I head on up to you?

He wanted to cry.

Note: More characters are involved in this chapter! Just wanted to lay it out here to refer back to if needed.

Y/n- Changbin’s mentee

Anna- best friend, Felix’s mentee

Kara- Seungmin’s mentee

Sunnie- Han’s mentee

Mindi- Hyunjin’s mentee

Nisha- Lee Know’s mentee

Alyssa- Jeongin’s mentee

Jenna- Chan’s mentee

————————————————————————

Y/n’s POV:

You felt like you were floating. You felt like you were unstoppable. You wanted so badly to call Anna and tell her that you had just had the best date of your life. The conversation was so easy with Jungkook. You may not have had much in common, but he was FUNNY. He was charming too- such a gentleman. True, you didn’t know him extremely well yet, but the side he did show you was basically perfect.

The butterflies in your stomach just wouldn’t go away. You needed to step aside though and text Chan, letting him know you were here to see him. You were curious to know what he would say. Okay, curious may not be the right word. You were SHAKING waiting to find out what he would say. But either way, it was fine. You were unstoppable after all.

Hey, I’m here :) Should I head on up to you?

*SEND*

You stepped to the side of the building so that you were away from the middle of the foot traffic entering and exiting the building, waiting for Chan to respond. You didn’t want to show up to his studio unannounced, especially if he was in the middle of something.

Looking down at the bouquet still in your hands, you let your mind wander back to your last few seconds with Jungkook. How he was the perfect height for you to hug him and get your face just above his shoulder. How warm he felt while standing out in the cold. How completely natural it felt with him. How when you pulled away, he had the most endearing look in his eyes and a big smirk on his face. He spoke lowly, almost whispered, “Can I see you again?” lowering his head to land a gentle kiss to your forehead. All you could do was blush and give one quick nod, avoiding his eyes. You giggled and waved, as you took off to head toward the building. You pictured the way he looked while waving back to you, almost sad that he wasn’t going with you. The day could simply not get better.

Unless Chan confessed his love to you of course. In which case, you’re fucked. Because what in the hell were you supposed to do then? You needed the universe to decide for you. Maybe Chan just wanted to talk to you about Berry’s health, if Bella had any similar problems, and what you did for them. Maybe he was curious how all of the mentees were doing and if there was anything he could do to help. Or maybe even to give you some tips before filming began- maybe he cared about you and genuinely wanted you to do well on the show. Any of those were more likely than him to say he had feelings for you. Hell, you barely knew the man.

You stood and twiddled your thumbs. A few minutes had gone by since you sent Chan the message. You were hoping he didn’t forget about you. You couldn’t take putting off all this anxiety for another day or so. You decided to look around and mentally note the small things in the JYPE building you hadn’t noticed before. How the walls were fully glass… Like FULLY glass. The chic silver lamps posted around the floor. The one giant green plant resting by the wall on the other side of the room. Someone was definitely taking good care of it.

*DING*

From: gnabnahc

Hey, yeah sorry. I figured out the answer to what I was going to ask you about. All good! Sorry to leave you hanging. Have a good day.

You put your phone down and somewhat felt your heart drop down into your stomach. You had been nervous, yes, but it was going to kill you more not to know. ‘Well hell.’ You puffed a breath out and frowned, crossing your hands over your chest. Just looking around now not quite sure what to do. ‘I guess I’ll just go and try to find Anna.’

You turned your attention back to your phone, frowning harder when Chan’s message was still displayed on the screen. You quickly swiped out of it and went to Anna’s ‘favorited’ contact in your phone.

Chris bailed. Where are you?

You stepped back shyly, not sure which way to head. You figured she would be in the cafeteria, probably with Kara and Sunnie. You decided to stand and wait for another second until she responded.

As you stood waiting, you saw an all black figure out of the corner of your eye. There were a million people moving in and out of the building, but this one was basically speed walking through. You noticed their entire head was down, fixated on the floor… Was that Chan?… The fingernails covered in black and white polish gave you the confirmation.

You could tell he was storming toward the elevator. Normally, you wouldn’t be so forward, but the stars were aligning it seemed like. You mirrored his fast pace and headed after him, off to the large elevator.

“Chris, hey! Wait up!” your voice raised slightly from behind him. You could see hesitancy in the way he slowly started to decelerate, almost shuddering in the process. Slowly, slowly, slowly, he turned his body around towards you. His normal smiley and joking exterior seemed to have gone away.

You finally caught up. “Hey!” you said cheerfully. ‘Game plan: Act like you’re not bothered and/or confused as hell.’ You smiled up to lock it in. “How are you?”

He was pale, almost like you’d be able to see every vein in his body if you tried hard enough. The only color on his face was a pink spot on the tip of his nose, probably from being outside in the cold. With his gaze on you, he looked like he’d seen a ghost.

He didn’t speak for a moment, collecting his bearings once he had finally fully turned to face you, beanie low almost covering his eyes. “I’m okay, how are you?” he said with a tone you could only describe as hollow. Distanced. Apathetic.

“I’m doing okay. Was just sad I wasn’t gonna be able to see you today!” you beamed. You were determined to lay it on thick. “But I’m glad you got everything worked out. I hoped everything was okay?”

He looked down to the flowers still resting in your hands, quickly bringing his eyes back up and settling somewhere on your face, but definitely not your eyes. “Yeah, it’s fine,” he strained out behind semi-gritted teeth. “But I’ve gotta get going upstairs. I’ll see you around.”

With that, he turned his body much quicker than before and paced the few yards away to reach the set of elevators, one of which was about to open.

You couldn’t believe he just brushed you off like that. Going to all the trouble to invite you to his studio, his one sacred space, and now the best he wants to do is “see you around?” Asshole. ‘This is the universe, y/n. This is just the universe giving you your answer. You asked for it and you got it. That’s a good thing isn’t it?’ you questioned yourself. ‘Of course it is. I have my answer. I can just focus on Jungkook from now on.’

Realizing you had just been standing in the middle of the floor, you stepped aside and checked your phone.

From: Anna

he bailed? wtf! on the rooftop with our friends, come find me rn please.

Thank God. You didn’t think you could deal with standing here alone for much longer. You started toward the elevator and waited patiently for it to arrive once you mashed the button.

The rooftop sounded like a cool place. And it was. It was basically additional space for people to hang out NOT inside of a practice room or shooting room. A lot of people would take food up there just to eat and chill with friends. It was fully encapsulated though, just like the first floor, with floor to ceiling windows- windows even comprising the entirety of the ceiling. It had a breathtaking view. You had selfishly hoped Anna would be alone. ‘God damn it,’ you thought as you stepped onto the elevator, pressing the uppermost button for the rooftop and then settling into the back corner. ‘If Anna doesn’t keep her big ass voice down, so help me god.’ You pictured having to cover her mouth with your hand to stop her from letting out expressions that could be heard on the other side of the room. That was one thing about your best friend- nothing was ever inconspicuous with her. You DID love that that meant there were no secrets between you two. What you DIDN’T love was that she inadvertently made both of your business everyone else’s business. AND your other friends were with her. So that’s gonna be awkward. As much as you were thankful for Kara and Sunnie’s friendship, they weren’t exactly known for hating drama. It was definitely best to leave them out of this. ‘God I hope they don’t get too curious. What am I supposed to say?’

You brainstormed different ideas, different lines you could pull to get her one-on-one without seeming like something was wrong. You thought and thought and thought until you arrived at your floor.

————————————————————————————

You narrowed your eyes as you scanned the rooftop for your friends. Long cafeteria-style benches lined the middle. As intently as you looked, you didn’t recognize the tops of any of their heads. ‘But is that? Ah fuck.’ It was the top of Felix’s head. Closer look. ‘Oh goody. Changbin, Seungmin, and Han too.’ Behind their slew of heads, you noticed the shorter frames of Anna, Kara, and Sunnie. ‘Cool. This should be cool,’ you sneered to yourself.

As you walked toward the group, you saw Anna’s head first, briskly turning in your direction. She snapped her head back toward the others, said a few words, let out a quick smile, and then unseemingly got up and walked toward you instead. Once she was out of their field of view, she picked up her pace and motioned for you to move backwards toward the elevator. There was a small foyer between the elevator and the rooftop room, so you decided to back track and wait there.

“Are you crazy?!” Anna scream-whispered once she arrived. “You were gonna bring that big ass bouquet in there and not expect people to ask questions?!” she pushed her hand down to motion to the flowers. “BEAUTIFUL big ass bouquet, oh my gosh,” she got side tracked, taking them in her hands and examining them.

“I’ve had more things on my mind than remembering some flowers in my hands. ALSO you told me it would be our friends up here, not an entire crew!”

“Hey, the guys are our friends too,” she frowned, handing the bouquet back.

“You know what I mean!” You pierced into her eyes. “BUT, holy shit Anna that was the best date I’ve ever been on!!!” you squealed. Your voice had raised at least 3 octaves. Your one free hand started flapping freely as you talked. “He was such a gentleman. He held my hand as I walked up the stairs. He made a reservation at this fancy restaurant for us. He helped me take my coat off AND put it back on. He paid for both of us and left a good tip. And, well obviously, he got me these flowers,” you blushed. “And it was just so easy with him! The conversation just kept flowing. The date was over before I knew it. I mean I am kinda relieved its over just because of nerves, but ugh, it was just- it couldn’t have gone any better.” The smile on your face and sparkle on your eyes told Anna that right away, but she let you ramble on. “OH OH and get this! When I went to leave, he KISSED. MY. FOREHEAD. Deadass his lips touched my forehead. And he asked if he could see me again! I- AHHHH!” You hush-screamed, waving your hands all around. Your eyes had closed tight from how much smiling you’d been doing.

“You said yes I’m presuming?” a smirky grin sprawled across her face, eyes looking into yours like she was teasing.

You rolled your eyes with a shit-faced grin. “Yes bitch, I said yes,” you laughed.

“That’s so amazing,” her eyes turned into puppy dog ones now, pout on her lips. “My little bestie is in loveeeee.”

“Okay, let’s not go that far. But yes, it was really reallllly good.” You couldn’t stop smiling.

“I’m just so happy for you… And like, not to ruin the moment, but what happened with Chris?”

You took a deep breath. ‘Not to ruin the moment my ass.’ You closed your eyes for a few seconds and shrugged your shoulders. You didn’t know much, just that he canceled on you and then left you hanging, yet again in the lobby. ‘Just a hot and cold asshole, I guess.’ Your respect for him had basically gone out the window… Buttt, maybe you were being a tad bit unreasonable. Maybe he just got busy. HONESTLY, you were probably reading too much into it. After all, he’d done nothing to make you think that he was interested in you in anyway. That was all just wishing thinking on your end. ‘And ACTUALLY, I should be thankful for him canceling. Now I can put to rest the stupid thought that he wanted to talk to me about anything more than a simple question he was curious about. There was no picking between them, because Chris was never in the equation to begin with. See, that’s good!’ you thought to youself. Still, you couldn’t deny that your heart ached a tiny bit, lost in the possibility of what could have been. But now you’d never know.

You expressed that to Anna as best as you could.

————————————————————————

Chan’s POV:

Chan could physically feel his heart fall into his ass. He set his phone down on the table and proceeded to punch both fists down on either side of his keyboard. Today, he was supposed to be nervous, yes- but not gutted. Not like how he felt now.

You were supposed to be in his studio with him now. He was supposed to be talking to you about how to do well on the show and how he would help you with anything you needed. How if you ever needed a shoulder to cry on, he would always be there for you. Just like last time. But only for you, he wanted you to know. The others were great. His mentee was great too. But none of them were you. None of them captivated him like you. None of them showed their raw emotions, nor got them out of him, like you None of them so effortlessly filled in the gaps that were missing inside of him like you. It had to be you, it just had to.

‘Way to go Chris. Not only did you ruin your shot by not taking it earlier, but now she probably feels like you blew her off… As if she would ever look at you anyways. She has Jungkook now. What more could she want? He’s way more successful, talented, and handsome than you could ever be… You know what? You can’t even be mad at her for going with him. Damn, you would too if you were her. Why would she want someone like you? Can’t do anything right. Couldn’t even get her here in the first place. You just didn’t deserve it. You don’t deserve her.’

With his head dropped low over his keyboard, fists still resting by the keyboard, he wanted to cry. He really really wanted to cry. But makeup was done, and there would only be a few moments for touch ups with so many people shooting today. So no, he couldn’t cry. But damn if he couldn’t get angry.

In a split second, any ounce of sense he had left his body. He started pounding his fists repeatedly into the table holding his keyboard. Hit after hit after hit. He didn’t care how it hurt, he just needed to let the inner pain out. Maybe by doing that, he could replace it. He bounced up out of his seat, darting hid head to look for anything he could get his hands on. A snarl spread wide across his face. A lone pillow sat on his couch, and he lunged down, throwing jabs into it left and right. In that moment, he was thankful for all the makeup to cover his face which had gone completely red with frustration. “GOD DAMN IT,” he screamed with a final punch to the pillow, now moving on to throw punches down into the couch. He felt his knuckles turn red from rubbing harshly against the fabric. Probably rubbed raw, he could tell. But he still didn’t care. He eyed down an empty plastic bottle on the table, rage still written in his face, and took a swift hold on it, using both hands to twist in opposite directions until it was completely deflated. With as much aggression as he could muster, he threw it to the ground and thrusted his heavy boot-covered foot down on top of it to squash it. Another stomp followed, then one after that, then one after that. He threw his entire heart, body, and soul into it with each violent step. “FUCK,” he screamed out, when he was finally satisfied. His teeth still snarled, he took a deep breath and huffed it out as quickly as he brought it in. He sprang toward the door, forcefully opening it before storming out. He didn’t know where he was going yet. He just knew he couldn’t be in that god damned room for one more second. Not without you.

———————————————————————————

Y/n’s POV:

You and Anna had made it to the filming rooms on level 10. You made sure to get there a bit early in order to find out which room to go to. There were around 50ish Everyday Idol contestants, not to mention their mentors who were also there to shoot intro materials. It was chaos trying to figure out where to go. You passed by Room #4, locating your name on the sign. Anna, Kara, and Sunnie were also filming in this room. You noted four other names on the sign, so you assumed that all the Stray Kids’ mentees would be here. So naturally, the members would be as well.

‘Fuck my life.’

You each squeezed your way through the crowd to make it past the doorway. You were happy when the first face you saw was Changbin. He was dressed in a fitted black top, dark jeans, black shoes, and a black leather jacket. A single small silver chain finished off the look. It was the first time you’d seen him out of the confines of a practice room, so seeing him all dressed up was a new experience.

They most likely matched your outfits up to give mentors and mentees a similar vibe. You looked down to your own outfit, giving it a final once-over. Tight black pants, a loose black button up that had been styled to hang off your shoulders, chunky boots, and plenty of silver rings, earrings, and bracelets. Your favorite of all was the dainty silver necklace wrapped around your neck with tiny stars and planets dangling off. It was too loose to be considered a choker, but too tight to be a plain necklace. Something about it fitting just right around your neck made you feel some type of new sexy vibe. Well that, plus the muted dark red lip choice was a dead giveaway of what they were going for. The final touchups before walking in had definitely been good to you.

Changbin walked your way, offering a small wave.

“Binnie!” you smiled and hugged him. His thick arms wrapped around you, making you feel safe. “What have you been up to today?”

“We had practice earlier, then a bunch of us ate together. You were invited obviously. Where were you?”

You panicked. The first thing to come to mind is what spilled out. “Oh, you know… just lady problems,” you brought your eye up into a dramatic wink.

“Well that’s something,” he made fun. “I hope you’re okay though?”

‘How sweet.’ “No, I’m totally fine! Just semi-nervous trying to figure out what we’re supposed to be doing today.” You looked around, making a mental note of the others in the room.

“They’ll walk us through it, and we can practice of course! They’ll probably put you in the frame and make you answer a bunch of prompts so other people can get to know you. Where you’re from, likes and dislikes, what you do in the ‘normal’ world, nlah blah blah. Then they’ll probably get some takes of us talking- that part I don’t know much about yet. I do know that you and I will take some photos together at the end. Same for the rest of the members and group photos as well. They will probably want some interaction between only you all. Nothing really to worry about.” He was right, it didn’t sound too bad. Apart from the fact that Chan would be here any minute and even if he didn’t feel it, the awkwardness you would feel is through the roof.

‘Calm and collected, y/n. Calm and collected. Literally what are you worried about? This is gonna be so easy.’

“Obviously I know you, Anna, Kara, and Sunnie, but I can’t quite remember the names of the other girls. I know we all met at drinks the other night, so I feel kinda bad,” he looked down, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Don’t feel bad. I really haven’t seen them since that night either.” You knew two of them fairly okay- Mindi and Nisha. They were super sweet, Hyunjin and Minho’s mentees. The other two, you weren’t quite sure about. Alyssa was Jeongin’s mentee and nothing was necessarily wrong with her, she just kept more to herself and didn’t seem very friendly to the rest of the group. Jenna, who had Chan as a mentor, was the same way. I mean surface level, they were fine, and you could all get along well enough. But do you ever get the feeling that someone just isn’t a “girl’s girl?” It’s like that. They aren’t girl’s girls. That’s probably why they clung onto each other.

And if you were honest, you weren’t quite sure how Jenna felt about you. You tried your best to talk with her, to make a connection in some way. Either she didn’t like you or her personality was comparable to a rock. ‘Either way, that is one dry bitch,’ you thought. You’d never say that out loud though. Ever since the night you’d all met up for drinks, something was off about her. An air of “I think I’m better than you” seemed to wear over her like a veil. You remembered how great the conversation was with Chan that night. The way that he looked at you, and how happy you both got when you kept finding things in common. It was like you had endless things to talk about. Even emotional things. You’d give up a lot to be able to go back to that night and experience it again. Maybe Jenna didn’t like you simply because you connected well with her mentor? ‘More than she did, I’m sure,’ you thought while rolling your eyes.

You walked with Changbin to the other side of the room where some of the Skz members and new cast members were all standing around talking. No Chris in sight though, thank god. They caught you up on everything you missed during lunch. Everyone compared outfits, went through what they’d probably have to talk about, all the usual stuff.

Felix pulled you to the side after a few minutes.

“Those flowers earlier were really pretty!” He teased, with a toothy smile spreading across his face.

‘Huh? Did he see me?’

“Aw, thank you! They were definitely some of the prettiest I’ve seen!” you played along, hoping he wouldn’t push further.

“Get them from anyone special?” he asked, again in the same sing-song tone. His cheeks were now stuck out from his smile, raising his eyebrows high on his face. He was definitely trying to wind you up.

‘Fuck, did he see me with Jungkook? I mean that’s fine I guess, but god please don’t make this weird. It was just a first date. Jesus Christ Felix why are you like this?’

“No,” you answered, trying to sound both playful and nonchalant. “It was just a friend. I’ll tell them you said that though! Thanks Felix.”

“No need, I already told him!” Felix winked down at you, nudging his elbow into your side. What the hell?

“Oh really? I didn’t know you two were close like that.” Literally not once had you seen any sign that they’d spoken to each other, let alone were good enough friends to keep in touch about girls they were taking to lunch.

“With Chan-hyung? We’re about as close as two people can get,” he laughed. “No way. I knew all along. And you’re welcome by the way. I may or may not have encouraged it hehe.” You watched as his eyes sparkled while they smiled. It would have been adorable if you had any clue what he was talking about.

All you could do was stare blankly at him. A confused expression must have been on your face long enough for Felix to notice.

“We are talking about Chan-hyung, right?”

“No… I got the flowers from Jungkook,” you said sheepishly.

You could see Felix’s eyes shoot open, going into panic mode. Fight or flight, I guess.

“Wait, are you talking about? OHHH those flowers! The ones from today. Ohhh okay, nevermind. Sorry, I was thinking about something completely different. Ohh okay, I see, I see now,” he rapidly mumbled out. He looked like he could start sweating at any minute, waiting to get your eye of approval before he switched topics.

‘Okay, so 2 possibilities. #1: Felix needs a lot more sleep. Or #2: Chan was going to give me flowers?!?!’

-----------------------------------------

✨Continue to ➡️ Chapter 5

✨if you enjoyed, please consider liking, commenting, or re-blogging <3

[highpriestess13]

If you’ve been seeing 111/1111 this is for you!

Heavy air energy for who these messages may be for.. you may have air in your mercury placement in your birth chart (don’t have to) but Mercury energy is very present and this rules the mind/ intellect, communication and how you think and process information. You may need to take a look at this aspect in your chart and get know more about this placement so that you can understand yourself better and help you to gain a better perspective on how to go about certain things/ situations differently.

You’re needing to ease your mind especially my overthinkers and worse case scenario’s folks lol. Whenever you see 111/1111 it’s a sign and warning to pay very close attention to not only detail BUT be aware of your thoughts being that your thoughts will manifest into your everyday life. The next time you see 111/1111, remember the very last thought you had and how you were feeling in that moment. Most of you are needing to ease your mind and get more rest… stop worrying is what I’m getting. You’re needing to allow for things to come to you rather you always needing or feeling the need to fight and struggle to get what you want. You’re heavily in your masculine energy and it doesn’t matter if you’re a male or female. You’re needing to embody being more present and just being in the state of BEING. Which is the feminine energy, again it doesn’t matter if you’re a male or female we all embody both qualities. Meditation is key and your best friend. Allow ideas to follow and allow yourself to flow because going against can cause unwelcome outcomes or stagnancy.

I also feel like you may have an idea that’s sitting in your mind and maybe you’re having a hard time executing it which is fine because in due time you’ll be able to and I feel like spirit is saying that because divine timing may be at play too. For others, I’m getting a pessimistic attitude or approach to something. It’s like you’re being given or handed something and you may not want it or like it or you’re very unsure with it. I’m also feeling that this may be coming towards you as well whether it’s an idea, offer or message could be either physical or spiritual. Whichever it is you’re being guided to be open to it spiritually and mentally. You’re also too much in la la land and not fully present so working on your root chakra which will help you with grounding yourself and your energy.

I’m seeing “bag lady” energy lol. You may be a Pisces or Erykah Badu is confirmation for you. You’re carrying WAY too much mentally and physically. You’re someone who may be a bit too hard/ harsh on yourself. You are your biggest and worst enemy. You force when you should be allowing. Allow yourself to be guided, and relinquish the need to be in control of everything. You also have to accept that not everything is going to go your way and it’s for reasons that you may not see. “Unforeseen” is what I’m hearing, it’s like there may be unforeseen events ahead of you that you don’t know/ see which is why you’re guides have been trying to guide but also uplift you at the same time. Your faith will be restored once you see and understand WHY certain things couldn’t go your way. You’re also being called to pay attention but to also lead with clear intentions don’t just go about things aimlessly because you can easily dig yourself a ditch. Remove obstructions and distractions from your life whether it’s outside influences or within yourself. Be mindful of the information you receive because not information/ advice is good information/ advice. Some times doing your research can be more beneficial. However this doesn’t mean to not take any advice or information but always have a back up or a second opinion even if that second opinion comes from you… I hope that made sense (11:01 as I typed that).

Do NOT walk aimlessly or walk an unknown path aimlessly… that is key! Think of it like this… would you walk in a dark forest just because? NOPE! Because you’re unaware of potential danger! Be properly prepared before doing anything! “2 steps ahead” is what I’m hearing. As I’m typing that, the “Betterhelp” commercial came on lol so that’s definitely a sign for someone.

You have the energy to strive for greater but that can also set you back or hold you back. It’s good to chill out and relax and take things one step at a time. There’s no need to rush the process or anything for that matter. You have the attitude of being headstrong but sometimes that can be very unfulfilling and possibly draining. You may always feel the need to protect and guard even if it feels unfulfilling to you or may feel like it’s not enough or something is missing. For some of you, it’s time to celebrate, celebrate yourself, your flaws, your milestone(s), achievements, etc. You don’t always have to be strong it’s okay to feel, it’s okay to be open and vulnerable too. Spirit is also wanting for you to be more of a free thinker too because it seems as though you stick to one thing and one thing only but there’s a need to expand your mind/ thinking. Which is why your mercury placement is very important. Jenga may be significant, proper structure is significant too. But I also wanted to say that, the move can forfeit your foundation.. remember faulty foundations and structure can lead to everything crumbling down! Spirit wants to also add that you need to have a shift in perspective, see what works and what doesn’t and why every time you try to build the foundation it never stands for long. I hope these messages help!

ALL READINGS ARE 50% off on my website with the code:Grand333 follow this link:

[0809sysblings]

ok the more i go over it the more convinced i am that i may be right that the translation of Kotoko's interrogation answer is incorrect.

so now i want to give my take on what the translation could be.

here's what the question and answer is in Japanese:

Q: 「正義同盟」 を知って��るか？

A: 何それ。 知らないけど徒党を組まなきゃ 正義を成せないなんてろくなもんじゃないね。

and my personal translation would be something like:

Q: Have you heard of the "Justice Alliance"?

A: What? No, I haven't. But, I mean, if we don't band together, we can't achieve justice, and that's unacceptable.

now i'll try my best to explain how i came to this translation.

何それ。

yep nothing to add really. "What's that?", or just "What?" if you want to sound more casual.

also "それは何？", the more textbook way of phrasing the same question has a different feeling than "何それ". "何それ" sounds a lot more curt. so "What?" or "What." just fits better than the full phrase of "What's that?".

知らないけど徒党を組まなきゃ

正義を成せないなんてろくなもんじゃないね。

"知らないけど" is just "I don't know, but...". so, so far this is the same as the translation by the unofficial eng milgram twitter.

"徒党を組まなきゃ" is where i start to deviate. なきゃ is a contraction of なければ. this is a negative conditional conjugation (one of them, at least. there's different ways to conjugate the conditional form of verbs in Japanese, but this isn't a Japanese lesson so i'm not gonna explain all that lol). this would make it "If (conditional) we don't (negative) [verb]..."

"徒党を組む", the unconjugated form of this verb/phrase, means "to form a faction/to band together". so now taking into account the negative conditional conjugation, we have "If we don't band together..."

using this specific conjugation is a very common way to phrase statements like "If we don't do x, there will be a negative outcome". the "there will be a negative outcome" part will depend on the context, obviously. "If we don't study for our test, we won't get a good grade", "If we don't sleep, we won't be in a good mood", etc.

this way of phrasing usually uses a double negative. so the conditional is conjugated in the negative and the possible outcome is conjugated in the negative. this double negative then makes the meaning 'positive'. which is why these phrases are usually translated as "We have to do x" or "We should do x". because that's the idea being conveyed. "If we don't do x, that'll be bad; so we must do it."

the 'outcome' in this sentence is "正義を成せない". unconjugated, this would be "正義を成す", meaning "to achieve justice". the conjugation being used here is the negative potential form. so taking into account the conjugation now, we have "We can't (potential, negative) achieve justice".

so if we now put "徒党を組まなきゃ" and "正義を成せない" together, that would give us something like "If we don't band together, we can't achieve justice".

now, this is all preceding "なんて". to keep it short, "なんて" in this sentence basically just acts as a ~spicy~ "は". "は" is a particle used to mark the topic of a sentence, so what the sentence is generally about.

this means the sentence is discussing the idea of 'not being able to achieve justice because we didn't band together for it'. the rest of the sentence is then 'about' this idea.

"ろくなもん" is made up of "ろくな", an adjective meaning "satisfactory/good/respectable/etc", and "もん", a contraction of "もの" which means... well it can translate to a lot of different things and also sometimes can't even be directly translated at all. i don't really think it's all that important to pinpoint how もん is specifically being used in this case. it's likely just being used in a sort of 'fluffy' manner to emphasize her point, so it likely has no direct translation and doesn't really impact the overall meaning of the sentence.

lastly we have "じゃない", which is making it so she's saying whatever she is talking about in this sentence (the main idea i stated a paragraph ago), isn't "ろくな", or "satisfactory/good/respectable/etc".

the "ね" at the very end is a sentence ending particle used when the speaker expects that the listener agrees with what they're saying (it also has other ways it's used, but, again, this is not a Japanese lesson lol). often this gets translated as ", right?" or ", isn't it?". but... personally i find that translating it as that can make it kinda clunky and less natural sounding depending on what's being said. so in this case, i've more or less ignored it.

if anyone disagrees with any of this or has any corrections (because i am definitely Not fluent and have lots to learn still!!), please feel free to say something! i do not want to be walking around in clown shoes honking my clown horn!

[leviathan-supersystem]

This is going to sound 100% stupid but can you explain what apas 95's post is about on libertarian morality? Is the message, their (libs) inability to defend their statements or using statements that are just wrong (the line "abortion maybe murder but no one can take away my bodily autonomy") due to not investigating the topic properly? I've also read the narrative of a foetus just not being considered alive or human so abortion is "ok" but that's more limited to either reddit comments or discord channels. Or considering abortion as immoral (if done in cases where the individual wasn't in a financial condition to support) because "that is unpredictable"

apas-95 could probably give a better explanation, but my understanding of the post was basically "one should argue that the course of action one recommends will result in the best outcome, rather than saying that we need to follow that course of action regardless of outcome". (and if you can't say that the course of action you recommend will result in the best outcome, recommend a better course of action lol)

the part about abortion specifically addresses the pro-choice arguments which attempt to sidestep the question of fetal personhood entirely and focus on "bodily autonomy must never be violated" as their central argument- this is a bad argument, there are various situations in which it would not be feasible/desirable to uphold bodily autonomy, and it is better to defend abortion rights by arguing against the notion of fetal personhood, which is easy, because fetuses aren't people (in the ethical sense of the term).

[changbinsboobs]

Hey, love your readings ! They have been so fun to read and so informative!! I was wondering if you could do one on what all of the dorm pairing think of each other? (e.g. what does chan think of IN and vice versa etc.)

I feel like living with somebody 1 on 1 can really change your opinion of someone lol (speaking from personal experience)

Anyway, thank you so much for your readings. I have really been enjoying them 💙

Thank you, u warm my heart💗🥰

I find the topic very interesting myself :) Enjoy💗

*For entertainment purposes only!

Skz dorm pairings' opinion on each other

Chan - Ace of Cups

Thinks of in that he's lovely and is a very giving and nurturing person. He thinks he's even cuter "up close".

I.N - 6 of Pentacles

Thinks of chan a bit of a "father figure" now that they are more close and personal. Not in a literal sense but rather chan's very...mhhh, provider-like. He thinks he has such qualities now even more than before.

Lee Know + Han - 3 of Swords, 7 of Swords

For those two sadly i got really bad cards, i think they might've recently had a fight or something. Lee know feels heartbroken and hurt by something han has done or the way han is. And Han on the other side feels plagued by guilt! I think he's unsure of something and his confusion is causing chaos around him, since decision made from an unstable state place - reap unstable outcomes. I think he feels really bad and wants to fix things and do better but he doesn't know how. Especially since he's trying to escape the pressure of those awful things he's feeling.

Changbin - 4 of Cups

I think he's kinda unsure how he feels about hyunjin after moving in with him. I think he has seen sides of him he hasn't seen that up close before and is now seeing him from a different light, thats causing him to evaluate his opinion on him. And also maybe his actions and behavior towards him in the future.

Hyunjin - Strength

Mh im not seeing so much of what hyunjin THINKS of changbin but rather how he feels. And im seeing he feels that Changbin is infuriating. Im pucking up on an agressive "tantrum" and idk who thats comming from. Theres a few possibilities.

1. Hyunjin wants to burst out and scream at changbin

2. Hyunjin gets so infuriated by changbin that he has burst out a few times and let his nerves take the best of him.

3. Changbin has burst out a few times whenever he gets stressed and gave hyunjin a tantrum over "nothing".

4. Or Changbin has been annoyed a few times either from stress or by hyunjin and hyunjin took that personally and got infuriated/triggered cuz he thought changbins having a tantrum at him over nothing, even if he didn't actually have a tantrum, but hyunjin just felt attacked.

All if those are possibilities and i hope maybe in a future reading we'll find out which one's the actual case.

Felix - The Sun

He thinks only good of seungmin and is enjoying his time and co-life with him very much!

Seungmin - 5 of Cups, King of Swords

I think he's not that happy with the living situation. Maybe not necessarily because of Felix, but rather he just wants a different living situation overall. I think he would much rather prefer living by himself and i believe he was hoping for an opportunity like that but either the team decided regardless, or the company decided for him - one way or the other, he feels like he lost an opportunity for a nice living situation and has to put up with the current conditions wether he likes it or not. I don't think he pays felix any mind as he's focus on the matter is elsewhere.

[skyloftian-nutcase]

Wait wait wait, in relation to that other ask—

Dad squad, but hero of power Ganondorf is along for the ride. The Yiga would be very very very dead

-Sky Floor

HAHA

Oh my gosh what a dynamic that would be 😂 Rusl would be very weirded out even after Ganondorf explains that he’s technically not the guy Rusl knows (I mean, he is, but he decided not to go down that route, at least… but he’s not telling Rusl that). Gan’s not happy that his boy’s been kidnapped, oof, depending on when this is that would be wild. I think best case scenario for a harmonious Dad Squad without diving into one of my AUs of my AU (lol) would be just before he tries to steal the Triforce, so his baby boy’s just turned 15 and he’s finally admitted he loves him and this is not how his day was supposed to go, ok, he was just sending the boy off after Link and Hemisi had their little moment and suddenly these freaks show up out of nowhere and Gan and Link can fight them off but then a portal appears and throws them both for a loop and Gan just woke up and WHERE IS HIS KID AND WHERE IS HE—

The Yiga would be very screwed, yes. But also Ganondorf and Abel would probably get along in their exasperation over literally everything 🤣 Abel, after all, has no idea that there’s a connection between Ganondorf and Ganon. Obviously he’s leery of the guy if their most trusting and sociable Dad had a rough start with him, but he also logically deduced that given they’re from different eras, and their sons share the same name, it isn’t too far fetched to assume the same applies to others.

Fierce, on the other hand, is strangely quiet around this new guy. He can sense something’s up, but he can also sense that Gan’s used a piece of the Triforce, which should be a sign that he isn’t a bad guy, right? But he definitely has some dark magic, and when he uses it the fierce deity mask reacts to it and tends to cause Fierce some pain.

(side note, Gan is super skeptical and curious about the fact that they’re traveling with a supposed literal war god)

I think the Dads would rub off on Gan, though. ☺️ Whenever he catches up to his kid he might have a better outcome.

But oof, if we’re going with my recent remarks about who the main Dad Squad villain is… Power Link is in for a heck of a time.

[novafire-is-thinking]

Something ive realised while rewatching tfp clips

Soundwave is only able to open portals willy nilly cus the mechanism for space bridge technology is on the nemesis, not him. he can only connect to it and make it open portals (which makes me wish Astrotrain was in the show cus I wonder if he would have this tech as well to help with travelling)

My source? When Soundwave is sent out to get a relic of Iacon and alserbeak gets hurt. Once Laserbeak sends his distress signal Soudnwave even forgoes taking out Wheeljack and just leaves immediately to get his partner, but he didn't use a spacebridge, despite the alternative being much quicker and immediate to retrieve Laserbeak. The best answer we have is that he couldn't create a bridge between their two locations because the nemesis was too far to recieve his commands to make one

In Shockwave's hunt for a predacon bone Soundwave arrives at the scene and is able to summon another bridge to let the falling bone piece fall into Megatron's hand. This scene shows bridges are made by commands through him, and there's a limited but large range distance Soundwave is able to make bridges outside the ship

And perhaps bridges can be timed or just made to hold open? because the first bridge remained for quite some time till both mecha ran back in

How dare you question Soundwave’s abilities /lh

When I first watched TFP, I assumed that was indeed the case, but I happen to have an interesting personal take on this.

Why Soundwave Wouldn’t Take a Ground Bridge Directly to Laserbeak

In reality, the writers went that way for the purpose of suspense. They needed to give Ratchet and Raf time to load Laserbeak. Also, the badass shot of Soundwave landing in the dark lol

For plot reasons that still bug me, Laserbeak wasn’t able to tell Soundwave that Ratchet was keeping him captive and had literally violated his body.*

Soundwave only received a generic distress call. He didn’t know if Wheeljack had come alone. For all he knew, the Wrecker could have called for backup in the form of the entirety of Team Prime, who may have set up a trap for him. Soundwave’s a tactical genius—he knows what others know about him. He would have known Team Prime would be expecting him to come via ground bridge.

Yes, Soundwave knew Laserbeak was in danger, but he also knew the Mini-Con was alive. He would have calculated the odds and selected the route at the intersection of the least risk and best potential outcome.

Overall, arriving via direct ground bridge would have been riskier than flying in. At least from the air, he could assess the situation before walking into a potential trap. He’s good, but not take-on-all-of-Team-Prime-at-once good.

Also…

Wheeljack: “I’m sorry.”

Ratchet: “What’s wrong? Where are you?”

Wheeljack: “Uh. Figure you got maybe…two minutes.”

Ratchet: *sees Soundwave flying in*

Ratchet: “Or less…”

Maybe Wheeljack’s estimate really was that bad.

Maybe Soundwave is faster than he looks.

OR

Maybe Soundwave used a ground bridge sometime during the flight, but far enough away from Laserbeak’s location so that he could still assess potential danger from the air.

*This plot hole still bugs me. If Laserbeak had just told Soundwave he’d been loaded up with a grenade and infected with a virus, the Autobots would have lost the race for the relics. You had ONE job Laserbeak! 😡 /lh

Ground Bridge Limitations

I present this glorious clip:

Based on Fix-It’s reaction and everything we’ve seen about ground and space bridges, only one portal at a time can be opened from a single bridge mechanism.

It’s reasonable to assume that when Prowl and Bluestreak engineered the first space and ground bridges (The Covenant of Primus), they found out very quickly that more than one portal per bridge was a bad idea. They would have then ensured that all bridge apparatuses were engineered with these limitations in mind.

However, nothing prevents two separate bridges from opening two different portals near each other, as we see in TFP and RiD15.

All this to say, in the clip above, there’s no way the second portal could have been opened from the junkyard’s bridge. It had to have originated from another bridge apparatus (assumed to be built into Soundwave’s body).

But couldn’t Soundwave have just tapped into the junkyard’s bridge from the Shadowzone and hijacked it that way?

Highly unlikely.

Even taking into account inter-dimensional radio waves, nothing would have happened because, like I mentioned earlier, all bridges are likely designed to prevent two portals from opening at once. (Signal blockers, limited power capacity, etc.)

Soundwave would’ve had to have been physically there to restructure the physical ground bridge mechanism, in order to increase its power capacity (among other things). Even so, the implied physics of portal “streams” prevents this.

And anyway, Soundwave is later seen at the controls, linking himself to the junkyard’s ground bridge. This tells me he wasn’t connected to it before, so the portal he originally opened was all him.

Back to TFP

In the Predacon bone scene, at one point, both portals were open at the same time. This means one of them probably originated with Soundwave, unless the Decepticons figured out a way to build a bridge that supports more than one portal.

But even if they had, it would be considered an exception, since many years after the events of Prime, Fix-It and the others still believe two portals from the same bridge mechanism isn’t possible.

So, can Soundwave open bridges on his own or not?

I think it’s likely that the writers intended for him to be limited in his ability to open bridges, lest he be a little too OP. (As if he wasn’t already. lol)

However, what all of those limitations are isn’t 100% clear. The most common take is that he can only open them when linked to a control mechanism, but there’s at least one exception to that in RiD15.

All things considered, I think Soundwave can open bridge portals on his own.

Things to consider when opening portals without a link to an external bridge control:

Energy consumption

If at all possible, Soundwave would avoid opening his own portals when fighting because it uses up a lot of energy—energy that may be needed in unexpected combat. He’s an excellent fighter, but he has limits that he knows very well. Tapping into an existing control mechanism would eliminate the energy drain that comes with opening portals with a personal apparatus built into his body.

Size limitations

Soundwave wouldn’t be able to open massive ground bridges or even space bridges on his own because of his personal energy (energon) reserves and the limited capacity of the smaller apparatus installed in his body.

One at a time

Like all other bridges, Soundwave would only be able to open one portal at a time—hence why he wasn't able to escape from the Shadowzone by himself.

TL;DR Soundwave can probably open ground bridges on his own, but there are limitations.

[aortaobservatory]

what are your thoughts on the time aspect? ive always loved the theme of clocks, rhythm, death, and of course dave and aradia are the best characaters ever lmfaoooo. also random rambling: i feel like i often have this sort of ticking metronome in the back of my head that makes me feel very time-y and ive always LOVED music and cool antique stuff. im not sure how much of that is an indication of my actual claspect though lol

(apologies for the ramblings xD)

Apologies; you sent this months ago and I am only answering it now! I hope these thoughts of mine are still satisfactory to read about.

I feel as though Time's inverse, Space, is understood to be "creativity", and those who may not entirely understand what an aspect is meant to be tend to take its inverse's opposite. However, the "opposite of creativity" doesn't paint a very fun picture. While "creativity" isn't necessarily wrong for Space, I understand Space to be a journey, joy in the traveling. Time, therefore, would be an ending goal, the satisfaction of victory.

From The Extended Zodiac, I pulled these keywords from the Time Aspect description. These would be the "canon" traits; they are what I adhere to when analyzing, but it should also be understood that this concept encompasses much more to do with than these keywords. Its "vibe", if you will, is much more than what is written.

TEZ Time Keywords: Struggle, restless, action, goal-oriented, relentless, empathetic, problem-solvers, (ruthless, defensive, impulsive)

The keywords I chose to represent Time are "Repetition, Goals, Efficiency, Restlessness". This aspect, like all the other aspects, is inherently neutral. It is not good or bad, but has the potential to be either.

Time is about optimization. Timebound do not create new solutions; they use what they are given within the finite and refine it into the tools they use to achieve their goals. Their satisfaction comes from the end product of their labor, and they are not satisfied if they are not working towards something; anything can be a goal to work towards for the Timebound. If Space is an infinite destiny (a course of events within the present moment), then Time is a finite fate (the future outcome).

If it's not broke, don't fix it; an efficient method is a good method, and a good method is an efficient method. It is the nature of Time to stick to what it knows works well rather than attempt to figure out some other way of achieving the same goal. (Code, and the action of coding, is a good example of this.) This repetition of methods can certainly translate into a metronome of sorts; monotonous and keeping a beat. While music is the logical conclusion to draw from this, I could make a case that it is specifically rap that is Time's purest form of music, since it focuses on the rhythm of the words rather than singing a tone. At the very least, I would say each Timebound has their own rhythm and way of doing things that is simply what makes the most efficient sense for them to do. (Perhaps that is why Dave is so fixated on being ironic when he grew up under the care of a Prince of Heart...)

Dave is the poster child for all Timebound everywhere, of course. As the Knight of Time (Active Utilizer), Dave is extremely skilled with his aspect; since Time is about efficiency, Dave would be able to achieve a great deal of things in a very short amount of time. And he does! I would almost say that if he were any other class but a Knight, the beta kids probably would have crashed and burned hard. Meanwhile with Aradia, the Maid of Time (Passive Enhancer), she would rely on others for her aspect; this manifests in a few different ways. She documents the code on the frog temple for Sollux to then adapt into SGRUB. Ghosts are considered to linger behind after their deaths due to a state of unrest and "unfinished business", which is quite in line with the nature of Time. She relies on the destruction of alternate timelines to guide her choices, which ends up amassing an army of Aradiabots to passively help the trolls in their battle against the black king.

[tamelee]

Hi… what do you think about people hating on naruto and saying that sasuke deserves better than naruto and that he doesn't love sasuke as deeply as sasuke does. And the way he talks in ch 698 like he doesn't want to come out. And he marries the first girl who chases after him to hide his sexuality like a closet gay behavior and live up to society's expectations (following according to his mother's word). Sasuke looked soo sad in Gaiden because Naruto had rejected his love for him. Some SNS shippers say that's why they hate Naruto.

I highly doubt you’re talking about SNS shippers/fans though. I have a feeling I know exactly what kind of stans these are because they’ll take every opportunity to hate on Naruto (and other characters as well). And if such people do claim they are then I’m pretty sure that the ‘🍥’ joining the ‘🍅’ is just in the bio for show. As if to say, ‘I ship SNS, therefore my unsolicited and biased criticism against Naruto is extra valid :)’ when it’s really not, (and vice versa) but I‘ll spare you the rant.

Using secondary source material (anything ’Boruto’) in order to invalidate main source material (’Naruto’ Manga) to then try and rationalize secondary source material-outcomes (the sequel) with assumptions to fill the gap in between these two (blank period) when it’s completely void of all previous logic in the first place, makes a well grounded argument in what way exactly?

In other words; why the hell would you look at the sequel and willing let that change your perspective as if it holds any merit to what we’ve already come to learn?

There is nothing wrong with a good hypothesizing session. I know from experience it can be somewhat soothing to rationalize a way towards something unwanted. In this case, it’s the sequel. ‘Gaiden’ is interesting for its own reasons. It’s sort of like, trying to come up with an explanation that makes an outcome seem a little less… bad. Which becomes easier because Naruto and Sasuke’s misery is fully on display. In the case of these haters though, they make it worse and just blame a character for a company’s money-grabbing decision. To let that be the deciding factor for them that fuels these unhinged claims about him being a bootlicker that acts through hatred or whatever strange mumbo-jumbo they also come up with. But anytime someone tries to make an argument about ‘Naruto’ and uses “because in ‘Boruto’…” you can already cast it aside as invalid.

Connecting two unrelated idea’s doesn’t say nor prove anything. You can’t even disprove it either because the argument doesn’t make any sense.

So it’s also ironic to hate on Naruto using Ch. 698 as an excuse to say he ‘doesn’t love Sasuke as deeply as Sasuke does’, when it’s primarily Naruto trying to explain how deeply he loves Sasuke as best as he can lol. I’m not sure if I’m impressed by the creativity or just dumbfounded that someone can read Ch. 698 and then come to such an irrelevant conclusion as if it has anything to do with ‘coming out’. It’s like having a conversation with someone about a very specific type of bird when another person barges in to ask why they’re discussing how to create your own carrousel. And besides, Naruto may exaggerate his denial profusely when someone brings it up (which is by itself very telling), but he never was good at hiding how he felt about Sasuke or how far he’d go (literally the entire story), even threatening war on behalf of Sasuke, dragging Konoha in it, indicating revenge for Sasuke if he’s harmed when really it was just a matter of his own personal feelings. As… obviously Konoha couldn’t care less and in fact would most likely side against Naruto anyway. He’s already boldly shared his intimate thoughts with the entire world during the war though, didn’t he. He literally connected his Chakra with everyone and spilled his brainrot about him freely.

You can create your very own narrative towards the outcome that is ‘Boruto’ and make it as crazy as you want, but it will still be based on assumptions. In fact, go ahead and write that story if you must, they tried and failed with Hinata’s movie for a reason. I'm sure an SNS-fan can do a better job, in fact, they have.

The idea that Naruto would probably struggle to accept how he feels and what it means, could very well be true. It would definitely be conflicting with the role he is expected to play as Hokage and it’s also something I’m exploring in the story I’m writing. But, so would it be possible that Sasuke will struggle, because we haven’t forgotten that love caused him to experience the most horrible pain through betrayal, yes? Naruto does care about how he’s perceived and he is a people-pleaser that was on a journey to realize that there is a difference between the conditions he must meet in order to soothe his sense of feeling unworthy of love and the unconditional love Sasuke proved to hold for him, regardless of anything else. “Because I feel relieved just looking at you as it reminds me of the love I’ve lost”.

Acknowledging is one thing, accepting is a whole other and then taking the action-steps to pursue it freely would imo require another story which would’ve been a fitting follow-up after Ch. 699 if that was even possible in the first place for Kishimoto to do. But it’s not.

Stop for one second and think about the amount of value you put onto the money-grabbing shit-stain on the franchise that is ‘Boruto’ and whether you want that bullshit, no matter the label, to invalidate everything you’ve loved about it in the first place. Rationalizing something when the bridge toward it is missing completely and where the outcome isn’t followed by logic is just people inventing an explanation to justify their own unhappiness with something. Aka; their hatred for Naruto.

[egg-emperor]

Sonic winning the Sonic Channel art poll is literally the most boring possible outcome, Sonic and Shadow already have countless art, interactions, media, and other content together lol

people were mad telling me to shut up, some were like "omg ur so maddd lol" and some pretty much even insinuating my gay ass is homophobic or at least lumping me in with them. perhaps revealing it was like a ship war to them which I didn't see it as or care about that way XD

but I wasn't sitting there seething over a twitter poll because it obviously isn't the end of the world, I was just disappointed and for good reason. Gerald literally would've been the best choice as it was the rarest opportunity for him of them all

because Gerald hasn't had any actual direct real time interactions in official media with Shadow (that's actually canon/SoJ not Archie) that's not through seeing a video or just being created/worked on. we've never seen them converse/directly physically interact

Gerald also doesn't have any Sonic Channel art that isn't the 25th anniversary comic. I think Black Doom hasn't been depicted at all but he has direct canon interactions in game that Gerald doesn't so he has way more overall than him really

Maria has a lot more direct interaction with Shadow in games, Sonic Channel art, and Dark Beginnings now than Gerald. We've seen them actually physically interact and converse quite a lot now which he doesn't have with Gerald

Sonic has been seen with Shadow tons of times in the games and in Sonic Channel art and will be seen with him forever more. no time limit or specific special case has to be made for them to because they're both alive and in the present day

literally every other character isn't going to get that as much but especially not Gerald because he barely has had any already in all the years he's existed. at least there's SXSG. but he was literally the most interesting and fresh choice

it's not about hating Sonic or ships, I like Sonic and sonadow. I'm just actually interested in taking the rare chance to see the fun potential of Gerald interacting with Shadow. just as I was with all the other polls but most also had the most common to see pairs win over something unique

like I was a lot more devastated by Big and Eggman not winning the previous poll despite fully expecting it. I'm not sitting here raging at sonadow fans or whatever people were accusing but is it really so wrong to love Gerald and want the man to get some love XD

[sapphires-and-silver-linings]

Half-Life | Chapter Four

You realized then how delicate this all still was.

Pairing: Plaga!Leon S. Kennedy/F!Chubby!Paranormal Investigator!Reader

Tags: Fluff, Mutual Pining, Angst, Sexual Tension, Masturbation, Blood, Body Horror, Animal Injury & Death

Notes: Heeeeey, guys. It's been a minute since I last posted, but here is chapter 4 (finally)! My summer has been more busy and stressful than I ever could have imagined, so I'm happy to finally be able to finish this chapter, which is the longest chapter of anything I've ever written at just over 14k words!!! I keep breaking my own personal record every time I write, it feels like lol. I also think this is some of the best writing I've ever done and I'm extremely proud of it! Not sure when chapter 5 will come out, as school is starting back up for me soon and a couple people I know irl are getting married this fall, so I'll be traveling a lot as well. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy it! Let me know your thoughts! (And here's a little behind-the-scenes tidbit: the painting I describe at the beginning of this chapter is actually in RE4R in the grand hall!)

Masterlist | Previous | Next

--------------------

You awoke before Leon, for once.

You couldn’t stop yourself from sitting up on your air mattress and looking at his curled-up form, finally allowed to take in his appearance fully without having to sneak a glance or risk embarrassing yourself and him by getting caught staring.

You had yet to see him so at peace until this moment. He was laid atop his blankets, nearly in the fetal position, one long arm tucked under his pillow while the other was slung across his exposed midriff. His appendages were retracted again and his tail was hanging off the side of the bed, twitching slightly in his slumber. His breaths were deep and even, and his messy blond hair covered his closed eyes.

Never in your life did you think a literal monster could be so damn cute—so damn attractive in ways most humans hadn’t been to you before. Even the ones you dated. You wondered what that said about you.

As you gazed at Leon, you were reminded of the day before, a lovely warmth settling over you like that of the sun spilling in from the window above.

You could feel yourself blush as you recalled him carrying you across the bridge; how he had plucked a flower just to stick it into your hair; the fact he was willing to dance with you in the dilapidated ballroom simply because you asked; the way he played into your little game as you sat upon the throne, faces so near, you could brush your nose against his if you had just moved a little bit closer.

But then he had pulled away, leaving you breathless… and confused.

You weren’t sure why he would humor you with the flirting and the lingering glances and the gentle touches just to distance himself again—why he was holding himself back.

It was maddening, and you struggled to muster the courage to ask him about it or take matters into your own hands. Because, if you were honest with yourself, you were terrified of what it would mean if you did.

Worst case scenario, he would reject you and send you away. It would sting, but you had grown accustomed to the feeling; almost expected it by now. Besides, you were going to leave anyway, weren’t you?

Best case scenario, though? He would reciprocate and then… what? What could come of this? Would you still go home and let this remain as some passionate, short-lived fling? Would you work out how to stay and leave your entire life—friends and family—behind? Or would you come and visit him when you could manage it, living some kind of half-life split between your world and his?

Every outcome you could think of seemed to hurt, and you thought maybe it would be better to keep things as they were; tense but platonic.

However, being with him was so easy. Natural as breathing (when he wasn’t stealing your breath away, that is). Sure, there had been hiccups and misunderstandings. The both of you were stubborn and set in your ways, but you put your differences to rest so quickly. 

But god, were you different. The type of different that you thought before meeting him would never work. As a human, he was handsome. Devastatingly so. Could have been a model, had he chosen another career.

And, most notably, he could have had anyone he wanted.

You had come to love your body with all its curves and marks, but you doubted he would even look your way if you had crossed paths in another life.

You knew it wasn’t fair to yourself or to him to compare who he was to who he is now, considering how much he had gone through over the years and his transformation. However, you couldn’t help but think the attention you were getting from him came from loneliness and nothing more.

If anyone else had been just as stupid and nosy as you, he probably would have acted this way towards them in your stead.

Could you so easily be replaced?

Your chest clenched painfully at the thought and you forced yourself to look away from him, eyes bouncing around the room until they landed on the painting hung on the nearby wall.

It was a beautiful depiction of the castle—how it must have looked when it was occupied by people instead of dust and crumbling stone. The colors were vibrant, and a couple in the foreground were walking away from it, arm in arm. You admired it for a long while, feeling a sense of serenity overtake your anxious mind for a moment.

And then memories of the day prior flooded it instead, how you and Leon had spent the rest of the evening making crude wooden frames for the paintings you had “borrowed” from the castle, carefully finding the best places to hang the new pieces on his once empty walls.

Leon acted like he didn’t care, letting you decide for him, but you caught him glancing at the artwork from time to time, a gentle smile on his face at the way they brightened up his home.

You knew once you left he would be lonely again. You hoped if you could make these changes for him it might be enough to keep him content, even for just a little while. And, selfishly, you felt that if you couldn’t have him, you could at least inject remnants of yourself into his life. Maybe then he’d think of you the way you knew you’d think of him until your last breath.

Everything about it was unfair.

You heard a rustle and a quiet call of your name, your gaze meeting the half-lidded one of Leon as he sat up to look at you. He let out a yawn, his impossibly wide mouth gaping open in a way you once thought to be terrifying, those razor teeth glinting in the low light of the morning sun. Now, as he blinked the sleep from his red eyes, you found it more endearing, like the maw of a cat. Precious in all its sharp edges.

“Good morning,” you told him softly, a smile playing on your lips as if you hadn’t nearly worried your teeth through them moments ago.

“Mornin’. You been up long?” he asked as he swept his hair from his face. You wished you could do it for him, but you pushed that thought deep down instead.

“Not long. Was just looking at the painting,” you replied, half-lying as you pointed at the artwork in question.

His gaze trailed up to it, a small grin alighting his bizarrely beautiful features. “It really was a great idea, bringing them back here. Makes the place a lot less depressing.”

“I have those, occasionally,” you joked, pulling yourself to your feet. “I’m gonna start breakfast if you’re interested in something other than fish.”

With a tilt of his head, he asked, “What’re you makin’?”

You smirked as you walked up to him. “You can find out for yourself if you get dressed and meet me downstairs.”

He rolled his eyes playfully, catching you off guard by leaning in close, so tall that even sitting down he was the same height as you were standing. “So demanding, bunny.”

You scoffed. “Forgive me. Please get dressed and meet me downstairs. Better?” 

“Baby steps.”

Splaying your hand against his chest, you teasingly shoved him, “Whatever. I’ll just cook without you.” 

He grabbed your wrist, clawed fingers cool against your skin, causing a shiver to run through you. “C’mon, you’re breaking my heart here.”

It was your turn to roll your eyes, pulling slightly against his hold. “Then be good and do as you’re told.”

He sighed dramatically, releasing you from his grip. “Yes, ma’am.”

You grinned triumphantly, gently tapping your finger against the tip of his nose. It caused him to scrunch up his face in a way that made you laugh, and then you turned on your heels and strolled to the door.

You glanced back at him as he stood and stretched. “Bacon and eggs, by the way.”

“Now that’s something I can’t pass up.”

“Figured.” And with that, you were on your way.

You kickstarted your morning by brushing your teeth and washing your face in the sink, then quickly got dressed so you could begin working on breakfast.

Leon was swift to join you, staying out of your way as he would be little help with his claws but keeping you company regardless. You made sure to leave his eggs runny and his bacon undercooked to abide by his more primal eating habits.

Soon enough, the two of you were at the table, sitting across from each other as was becoming the norm. It all felt so… domestic.

“Got any plans I need to know about?” he inquired after emptying his plate.

You swallowed the bite you had been chewing, glancing out of the nearby window. “It’s a nice day out. Pretty warm for autumn. Would that lake trip I mentioned yesterday be out of the question?” 

“Don’t see why we can’t. And there’s lots to see. I think you’re going to have a good time.” 

“With you? Always.”

You could have sworn a faint pink rose to his face, but he was quick to stand and place his used dishes in the sink, so you couldn’t be certain.

After a quick prep for the trip, you headed down to the lake, Leon helping you get onto the boat, which rocked violently as you stepped onto it, to your dismay. He chuckled as you grappled his shoulders to steady yourself, slowly lowering onto the bench beneath you.

“Not too keen on a swim, huh?” he teased you.

“Not fully clothed, at least,” you muttered in reply.

He simply smirked at that but didn’t respond. 

Leon smoothly directed the loud motorboat to the first location you had agreed upon back at the house, which was a small cave that held a wooden shack inside. It was such a strange little place, but you liked to hear the echo of your voices bounce off the cave walls, as well as the sound of the boat gently slapping against the dock.

The headless statue with the dark stains on it—that looked an awful lot like old blood—made you uneasy, but you could see yourself camping out at a place like this.

After that, Leon said he was taking you to what he called “chicken island”, which made you laugh. 

“Can’t imagine why they’d call it that,” you mused.

“It had chickens there if you can believe it,” was his deadpan response. 

And he didn’t lie. Although the birds were no longer present, many rusted cages full of straw nests were stacked across the small area and worn feathers littered the ground. There wasn’t much to it, as he had warned, but you felt the need to at least say you had been to such a silly place.

He then took you into another cave, pulling up to a large dock with only your flashlight as a guide. You climbed up the ladder to the deck above—a place that you had passed through to get to the lake in the first place—to sit on a crate and eat your lunch.

Time was passing rather quickly while out on the water, and you worried if you spent too much time dawdling, you’d have to come back the next day and waste precious hours you could be doing other things.

The end of your visit here was coming up sooner than you’d like, after all. 

You were halfway through your sandwich, giving the room a more intense sweep, when your eyes fell upon the elevator in the corner. You had pointed it out before, but Leon wasn’t keen on using it, as the generator keeping the thing in service had long since lost fuel. 

Apparently, there had been a shooting range with moving targets on the floor below, to your bewilderment. There was also one inside the castle and another in the mines beneath it, though Leon told you it was too dangerous to trek the old shafts. 

You glanced at the counter next to the elevator and a thought came to your mind. “Hey, Leon, you said there were moving targets in the shooting range, right?”

He looked at you quizzically but nodded, mouth full of sliced ham.

You giggled at the sight, but continued your questioning, “So if they were moving, was someone controlling them?”

He swallowed thickly before answering, “Yeah... This guy I just referred to as ‘The Merchant’. He popped up all over the village while I was trying to save Ashley. Helped me a lot by selling me supplies. He was in charge of the shooting ranges around here.”

“How did he know where you’d end up in time to set up shop? And how did he avoid getting infected with the parasite?” 

Leon clicked his tongue. “Your guess is good as mine. He was… weird… but he did me a solid, so I figured it would be best not to ask questions. Even sold me some things to live on after I turned. He never came back after that.”

“Do you wish he did?” you asked, unable to stop yourself from prying. It was a bad habit, you knew, but you couldn’t help it.

You wanted to get to know Leon in every capacity, even though leaving would only hurt worse if you did. You must've been a masochist, then. 

He sighed wearily, crossing his arms. “If I’m being honest… every day I wished someone would come back. Didn’t matter who. Used to lay awake at night and think about Claire or Ashely or Ad—” he paused at that, and you were going to ask what name he was about to say when he continued, “Anyway, I used to imagine them coming to find me. Just to say hi, I guess. To see how I was doing. But they never did. Not that they should. I told Ashley not to come back for her safety, and to not tell anyone I was alive. Don’t know why I hoped she’d break her promise.”

“Well,” you started, reaching over and wrapping your fingers around his hand, “at least I’m here.”

“Yeah, and I’m glad for it, even if it's just for a week.” He was staring down at your knuckles and you wanted nothing more than to coil your arms around him, but you refrained.

You considered him for a long moment instead, all your overthinking from earlier being tossed out of your mind as you promptly made a decision, saying, “I could always come back. Make this a yearly trip or something.”

His gaze jumped up to your own, then, shock evident in his pale features. “And why would you do that?”

You let out a huff of laughter. Was he really that clueless? Well, you weren’t about to give him the full truth—that you were utterly infatuated with him—instead replying, “Because I’m your friend, aren’t I?”

“Friend,” he repeated, voice low. Was there a hint of disappointment in his tone, or did you imagine it? “Yeah, I guess at this point, you really are. But I don’t know if it would be a good idea for you to come back.”

“Why?” You felt hurt by that, but you tried to hide it behind a nonchalant attitude, attempting to sound more curious than bitter.

“We’re wasting daylight,” he said instead of answering you, standing up from his crate. “We should keep moving.”

You stood up, too, confusion and frustration circling in your head like vultures. “Fine, but this conversation isn’t over, Leon.”

“Hm,” was all he replied, already making his way to the boat before you even finished zipping up your backpack. 

The short trip to the other side of the cave was one full of awkward silence. You didn’t want to show that you were annoyed, but it was difficult to mask it while he was giving you the cold shoulder.

You realized then how delicate this all still was. A few days together was not enough time for him to fully open up to you. You were upset, but he had a stormy history—one he wasn’t keen on sharing.

Whether it was to protect himself from the vulnerability or spare you from the weight of his past, you didn’t know. But you wanted nothing more than to assure him that he meant something to you. That he could trust you.

You kept your mouth shut.

Despite the change in attitude, Leon was still quick to help you out of the boat. It was something you appreciated, given your apparent lack of sea legs.

Your concerned thoughts were replaced with a renewed sense of awe, though, as you shone your flashlight over the cave walls and rushed forward. Leon simply followed behind you while you explored the place, as he made a habit of doing since your arrival.

You found another headless statue stained in dark brown, to your disgust, but not much else resided in the labyrinthine tunnels.

You went back to the boat, and as you were about to leave the area altogether, you pointed out another small dock nearby. “What’s over there? Can we go?”

He seemed hesitant, shoulders tensing, but he eventually nodded, pulling up alongside it.

Once on solid ground, you were swift in finding a painting on the cave wall, which was a large and very old map of the lake with what looked like a whale in the center.

“What is that?” You asked Leon, the uneasy silence from just before fading as your curiosity took root in its stead.

He grimaced as if remembering something terrible. “Del Lago. Giant fish monster in the lake. I killed it, though, so don’t worry.”

“Ah, a Spanish Nessie, then,” you teased despite your horror at such a concept. “Must have been old, if this painting is anything to go by.”

“Its body sank to the bottom of the lake pretty much as soon as I downed the thing,” he said, looking up at the depiction of the creature. “It’s almost a shame, what happened to it.”

“Why, cos you killed an ancient majestic beast?”

He turned to you with a smile. “No, cos I wasted all that meat.” 

You laughed and he chuckled in response, the awkward tension from earlier finally giving way to the easygoing banter you enjoyed so much.

“C’mon, there’s more to explore,” you urged, grabbing his wrist and pulling him along.

Near the mural was a shrine with two large hands sticking up from the cave floor, a head sitting in either stone palm.

Well, that explains the headless statues, you mused.

You moved on quickly after that, the cave giving way to a forested path. You made a face as you skirted past a sacrificial altar, gripping Leon a little tighter.

After having to crawl underneath a tiny gap in a stone formation, you made it to a fork in the path, a small building to your right, and a winding trail to your left.

“What’s over there?” you asked Leon as you pointed to the trail, leaning down to wipe the dirt from your clothes. 

He seemed to freeze before responding a little too quickly, “Not much. And that cabin just leads to another dock. We should head back to the boat.”

“Oh, c’mon, we’re already here! Might as well take a peek!” you chirped, marching onto the trail. 

Leon didn’t argue, but he was tense as he followed you up to the end of the path.

You were more than a little confused by what you found there.

“Graves?” you questioned aloud as you looked upon the two crosses made crudely of sticks, names carved into the wood. They weren’t next to each other like you’d expect, but spread apart and angled toward the center of the dead-end path. “How strange. The only other ones I’ve seen were in the church cemetery.”

“Yeah, strange,” Leon muttered behind you, sounding almost… nervous? You wondered why.

You leaned down to the cross on the left, barely able to make out the name “Luis Serra Novarro” on the wood. An old lighter was on the ground beside it. You wondered if it even worked anymore with how long it looked to be sitting there. 

You then crouched before the other cross, “Major Jack Krauser” etched messily upon the surface.

“Well, his name isn’t very local-sounding,” you joked of the latter.

Leon didn’t reply, but you were too distracted by what was dug into the ground in front of the cross to comment on it. It was a large knife with an engraving of a snake on its rusted blade.

“Wow, that’s cool,” you mused, reaching out to pull it from the dirt. It felt like a waste to leave such a well-crafted weapon just sitting there.

“Stop!” Leon barked, lunging forward and yanking your hand from where it brushed against the scales.

Shocked, you pulled away and stood up, taking a step back at the snarl on his face. “Whoa, what’s wrong? The thing booby-trapped or something?”

He sighed, his expression turning weary instead of angry. “No, just… would like to respect the dead.”

You tilted your head in confusion. “Respect the dead? You piled up human corpses at the entrance to the village. Not sure how that’s exactly—” You stopped mid-sentence, realization hitting you as you took in the miserable look on Leon’s face. “You… you knew these guys, didn’t you?”

He grimaced at your words but slowly nodded in response.

“Who were they?”

Leon crossed his arms over his chest tightly, as if to hug himself, before jerking his head to the grave on the left. “Luis helped me and Ashley. He actually saved me from him, too,” he said, looking at the grave to the right. “He was killed by that very knife.”

“Why bury this guy next to your friend if he murdered him?” You were flabbergasted by this whole thing, desperate to make sense of Leon’s strange actions.

He winced at that. “He was my mentor. Trained me to be an agent in the first place. Without him, I don’t think I could have survived.”

“What caused him to change?”

Leon decided to plop onto the ground, his tail whipping in agitation along the dirt. You joined him, sitting cross-legged beside his slouched figure, waiting for him to say something.

“He was betrayed by the very country he fought to protect. His whole unit was wiped out and he was badly injured, unable to fight like he used to. He ended up going MIA and joined the cult. They infected him with the Plagas, too. I had to fight him. I had to—” he stopped to take a steadying breath, “I had to kill him. With that same blade. His blade.”

“I’m so sorry, Leon,” was all you could offer him, placing your hand over his and squeezing gently. He closed his claws into a fist and squeezed back.

“I buried Luis first,” he began. “Had to go into the mines to retrieve his body, ferry it out here. Then I went to the island on the other side of the castle to find Krauser. The whole place had collapsed in on itself, but I had hoped I could get to him. Dug in the rubble for days, but… couldn’t find a body. The knife is all I had left of him, so now it’s here.”

“I see,” you said quietly, staring down at the muddled reflection of Leon’s dirt-covered leg in the rusted blade. “Why’d you place their graves so far out of the way?”

“It’s secluded. Quiet. Peaceful,” he replied, head tilting towards the sky and closing his eyes. “Figured I would bury Wolfie here, too, when he eventually dies. Just thought it would be a good place to…”

You saw him swallow back his words.

“A good place to what?”

He sighed and shook his head before looking at you, those red eyes so hauntingly melancholy, it made your heart ache. “A good place to rest.”

The two of you sat quietly in the dirt, simply holding hands and watching the breeze ripple through the foliage surrounding you.

He’s right, you thought, comforted by the shade of trees, yet still able to make out the blue of the sky above, it is a good place to rest.

You knew Leon grieved the life he once lived, so evident in the way he carried himself—the way he spoke. But this kind of loss was news to you. You never realized just how much weight he carried.

You were determined to lighten the burden in any way you could.

“Come on,” you told him, finally standing. “We have one last stop, don’t we?”

He didn’t need your help to get to his feet, but he still took your outstretched hand, giving you a small, grateful smile when he towered over you once more. “Yeah. We do.”

Before you knew it, you were back on the motorboat, heading straight to the center of the lake for your last location.

You had seen the old, half-sunk fishing vessel from the shore, but wanted to explore it last for the hell of it. You were glad you made that decision, hoping that spending more time on the calm waters might lift Leon’s spirits.

He came to a stop at the port of the large wooden boat, gracefully exiting onto the dilapidated vessel before reaching his hand out and pulling you onto the algae-slick deck with him.

“Careful,” he warned, releasing his hold on you. “The boards are pretty damaged. Wouldn’t want you to fall through.”

“Yes, sir,” you teased, but you took your time walking around, just in case. You heard him chuckle as you shuffled slowly forward, giving him a lighthearted glare in response. 

There really wasn’t much to see of the place, only able to access the front of it. 

You leaned against the railing of the bow after a brief sweep of the area, looking out onto the blue, blue water. It was beautiful, and you could see why Leon would spend hours fishing out here beyond catching a meal or two.

You glanced over your shoulder at him, finding him leaning against the front of the cockpit, his eyes already on you. You wished you knew what he was thinking when he looked at you like that. You hid your blush by turning back around.

You placed your hands on the railing, a light giggle escaping you as a thought crossed your mind.

“What’s so funny?” he questioned, and you knew he was smiling without needing to face him.

You tapped your fingers on the wood. “You ever see the movie Titanic?”

He scoffed but didn’t answer, instead stepping closer. Before you knew what was happening, he had gently tugged your arms up, holding them in the air as he leaned down to place his chin on your shoulder. Your breath was caught in your throat by the proximity, his own tickling your cheek.

“Was this what you had in mind, bunny?” he asked you, voice low and teasing in a way that made your stomach flip. You kept your arms up as he slid his hands down to rest on your waist and you wondered if you would pass out from your inability to pull oxygen into your lungs.

You needed to get yourself together, so you forced out a nervous laugh before saying, “If only we had Celine Dion playing in the background. I think we’d be dead ringers for the remake.”

Leon laughed heartily. “I can’t imagine they’d do a remake of such a nineties classic.”

You giggled, turning slightly to meet his eye. “They remake everything these days.”

“Well, I don’t think I have what it takes to play Jack, but you’re pretty enough to go on the big screen.”

Oh. 

That compliment made heat flood your whole body, though you didn’t want him to notice it. “What are you talking about? You’re practically Leo DiCaprio two-point-oh.”

“Mm, maybe ten years ago,” he mused, pulling away from you, to your chagrin. “C’mon, we should head back to the house.”

You pouted as you turned to face him. “But I don’t want to yet!”

“Well, there’s not much left to do out here,” he replied, as if coaxing you to follow his lead.

But that wasn’t exactly your style, now was it? 

Instead, you let your hair down from its messy bun, kicked off your shoes and socks, and yanked your shirt over your head.

Leon’s eyes widened to the size of dinner plates as you stripped in front of him, pulling your jeans off and leaving yourself only in your underwear. You could tell he was trying not to stare, focusing solely on your face as he choked out, “What the hell are you doing?!”

Still, you saw his gaze drop to your bare skin. You felt utterly exposed, but you weren’t ashamed.

In fact, you felt good.

You felt free.

You sat on the railing of the boat, smiling wickedly at him as you flipped your legs over the edge. “I told you if I was going to have a swim, it wouldn’t be fully clothed, didn’t I?”

Before he could say anything else, you plunged into the water.

It was so cold, you locked up for a moment, your body shocked by the sudden change in temperature. You stayed under for a few seconds, willing yourself to adjust before breaching the surface.

You wiped the water from your eyes, blinking up at Leon as he hung off the bow of the boat. It looked like he was about to dive in after you, as if he was worried you wouldn’t come back up.

His concern for you warmed you right up.

“Are you serious?” he interrogated, breathing out a sigh of disbelief. “You said it was too cold to bathe out here, but you’ll take an afternoon swim?”

“Definitely too cold for a bath,” you replied, nodding sagely. “But you should still come join me!”

“Absolutely not. You’re crazy, you know that?”

You smiled, all teeth. “What was your first clue, sweetheart?”

He scoffed. “You showing up here in the first place, probably.” 

“So…” you began, “you should learn to expect the unexpected. And jump in. I know the cold doesn’t bother you, Leon.”

He sighed, staring over at the shore for a moment before turning to face you once more. “Fine.”

You whooped in victory as he stepped back from the railing, and then bit your lip as you watched him pull off his shirt, revealing his lean, taut upper body. His legs were obscured by the boat as he tore his pants from them, but you got a good look when he leapt onto the ledge of the bow. You had to crane your neck to take in all of him, grazing your eyes up his muscled form, covered only by boxer briefs.

Before you could stare for too long, he dove into the water behind you, and you covered your eyes as it splashed up in a small wave.

He quickly rose to the surface, flipping his blond hair from his face.

“See? Not so bad,” you told him, paddling closer to where he was treading.

“Guess not.”

You were about to speak again when you felt something large slither along your leg. You yelped, pulling your body away from the sensation. “Oh my god, something just touched me!” 

Leon shrugged. “Probably just a fish.”

“No, no, it was definitely a snake!” you told him, eyes staring down as if you could see into the dark water.

“It’s possible. There’re vipers in the area, I told you that before.” He seemed to be taking joy in your distress and you glared at him angrily for it.

“Leon, if that’s true, I need out RIGHT now.”

You began to swim towards the motorboat, suddenly very over this whole situation, when something touched your leg again. You screamed as it wrapped around your ankle, pulling you under the water.

You weren’t under for very long, whatever it was almost immediately releasing you. You sputtered as you pushed your head above the surface, panicking.

But then you heard Leon laughing hysterically nearby, and the realization that he was just screwing with you hit you like a brick.

“Oh, you asshole!” you yelled, wading back over to him and shoving his chest in rage.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I just had to,” he told you between laughs.

“Yeah, you will be.” With that, you splashed his face with water, feeling smug that you got him before he could use his arm as a shield.

You splashed him a few more times until he lunged toward you, grabbing your arms, “Okay, we’re even now. Happy?”

He released you and you pretended to think about it for a moment, easing closer. Your faces were mere inches apart, and you wanted nothing more than to lean forward and kiss him. You weren’t sure how the action would even work, considering his protruding fangs, but that didn’t stop you from wanting to find out. 

He seemed to edge nearer, and you wondered if he had the same idea.

But your nerves got the better of you.

Instead, you jumped up and shoved his shoulders down, dunking him completely under the water.

It was your turn to laugh as he came back up, his wet hair covering his eyes. “Now I’d say we’re even.”

He pushed the strands from his face and shook his head, chuckling. “Yeah, I deserved that.”

Before you could say something else, the sky seemed to darken suddenly. You still had a couple hours of daylight left, so you glanced up, confused. You saw that clouds had converged over the sun, looking awfully heavy.

Something splattered against your forehead, and you wiped it off, realizing it was a raindrop. Several more began to fall on and around you, and you knew it was time to head back to shore.

You and Leon quickly got dressed as the sprinkle of rain turned into a steady shower, dampening your once-dry clothes. Still, you made the time to glance at Leon’s cute butt as he leaned down to pull up his pants, and when you turned to put on your own, you could feel his eyes on you too.

Thankfully, Leon decided to head back to the cave, the rain only coming down harder as you finally entered it. Leon moored the boat, and the two of you hurried through to the quarry. 

A flash of light streaked across the sky as you reached the church, the echoing BOOM that followed it making you jump out of your skin. You must’ve looked like a wet chihuahua with how you shook, both from the sound and the cold rain seeping down to the bone.

Leon turned to face you, his expression concerned. He got close, placing his palms against your arms. “You’re freezing. C’mon, let’s get you home.”

Despite your misery, you couldn’t help but feel warmed by his words.

Let’s get you home.

He said it like it was yours, too.

He grabbed your hand, tugging you along as you rushed back to his place, knowing it was still quite a trek.

You finally made it to the house, and you doubled over as soon as you crossed the threshold, panting heavily from practically jogging the whole way. You were shivering violently, your teeth chattering as you finally caught your breath, when you felt Leon lay his hand across your back.

“Hey, you should get changed. I’ll start a fire,” he urged, eyes soft as he looked at you.

You nodded, doing as he said, wringing your drenched clothes over the tub before hanging them on the sides of it.

Feeling slightly better, you went back into the main room, seeing that Leon had pushed the dining table over and moved the couch in front of the fireplace, where a stack of logs was piled in the hearth.

He was struggling with the matches again, so you gently took them from his hands, alighting the kindling yourself. He simply nodded at you before you sat down on the couch and reached your hands towards the slowly growing flames.

“You’re soaked,” you told him. “Go change. I’ll make dinner when we warm up.”

He smiled down at you as he stood, stroking the top of your head. You never wanted him to stop. “Be right back, then.”

You were finally losing the chill as he returned, sitting down beside you, his tail draped between you on the seat.

Another loud crash of lightning made you cry out, flinching.

“Whoa, there,” he said softly. “You okay?”

You grimaced. “Yeah, I’m not… the biggest fan of storms. I like the rain when I’m cozied up inside, but thunder and lightning… I don’t know. It freaks me out.”

“So you’re afraid of heights, snakes, and storms. Anything else I should know about?” he asked lightheartedly.

You rolled your eyes. “I’m not afraid of heights, just falling off a shoddy bridge, thank you very much. And snakes only scare me when they’re venomous and I think they’re slithering around my leg.”

His tail flicked up as you stared pointedly at it, the movement incredibly cute to you. He could really be just like a cat sometimes.

“I stand corrected. Just storms, then,” he teased.

The conversation flowed to other things, but looking around, you realized with sudden concern that Leon’s dog wasn’t nearby. “Hey, where’s Wolfie? Was he upstairs?”

Leon’s brows furrowed at that, standing and glancing around the room. “No… he wasn’t. He usually doesn’t stay out when it storms.” 

“Is he okay?” you questioned.

Leon crossed his arms. “I’m sure he’s fine. Maybe staying somewhere out of the rain.”

You nodded, though you worried for the poor dog’s safety.

As you promised, you made dinner—a roast, actually—and you had never seen Leon so excited by something you had cooked thus far (though he wouldn’t touch the potatoes, onions, and carrots that simmered alongside it).

As you worked on washing dishes, you saw Leon staring out of one of the windows, and you knew he was looking for Wolfie. You finished the chore, walking into the main room to stand beside him.

“He’s never been gone this long,” Leon stated with a frown.

You worried your bottom lip. “Maybe… Maybe we should go find him.”

Leon glanced at you, then, brow raised. “I’ll go find him. You should stay here.”

“No way,” you argued, already pulling on your hiking boots. “I’m not letting you go out there alone.”

“You could catch a cold, and that bear is still around. Besides, you hate the thunder and lightning, and it's only getting worse.”

“Well, I’m worried about him too. I want to help.”

He sighed as you stood upright, seeing the determination in your eyes. “Fine, but dress warm.”

You nodded vigorously. “I have a raincoat and a jacket, don’t worry.” 

You quickly ran to your luggage, throwing on your hoodie, sliding the raincoat over it, and grabbing your flashlight from your backpack.

You met Leon at the door, the two of you heading out into the dark.

You kept your arm braced above your brows to block the rain from your eyes, the hoods of your jacket and coat pulled over your head still not enough to prevent the onslaught, raking your flashlight over the ground as you and Leon called Wolfie’s name.

You didn’t know how long you were in the storm, and although the clothes on your top half helped to keep you dry and warm, your legs were getting soaked through. You pushed past the discomfort, your concern for Leon’s animal companion taking precedence.

The look of worry on his face was compelling enough to keep moving forward on its own.

You were near the church again, calling out the dog’s name as loud as you could, getting desperate to find him safe, when you heard Leon gasp beside you.

“What?” you questioned.

“This way,” was all he responded, bounding through the woods at a speed you could barely keep up with.

Leon was taking you deep into the forest, and you could focus on little else but his darting form as you followed him, afraid to be left behind in the dark.

You thought you were gaining on him when you tripped over a root, cutting your knee as you fell to the ground, hard. You were quick to pick yourself back up, sprinting after him and gritting your teeth against the pain.

You lost him, though, the realization filling you with panic. You just continued running in the direction you saw him taking off, calling after him frantically.

The thunder rumbled deafeningly from above, making you cower in fright, but you knew you had to keep going. The darkness seemed to encroach upon you, the torrent of rain pelting against your whole body hard enough to hurt.

You don’t think you had ever felt this afraid.  

To your relief, you finally caught up to Leon, but it was short-lived when you took in what was ahead of you.

Leon was crouched over, and you could hear him muttering in distress. Before him was Wolfie, laying motionless on his side, four streaks of dark red seeping out of his white fur.

You rushed forward, dropping onto your injured knee, not caring how badly it stung as you assessed the animal in front of you. He was still breathing, thankfully, and letting out quiet little whimpers. The wounds looked deep as you appraised them, wondering what could have done this to him.

As if reading your mind, Leon growled, “It was that damn bear.”

You didn’t respond as he stripped his shirt off, easily ripping it into strips. They were soaked through with rain, but it was better than nothing.

“Here buddy,” Leon reassured Wolfie as he grabbed his own tail.

“What are you doing?”

Ignoring you, he gently pricked the barbed end into the dog’s side, who yelped and writhed at the feeling before near-instantly relaxing.

“Kills the pain,” is all he offered as you looked at him in shock. He then shoved the strips of cloth into your hands. “I’m gonna lift him up and I want you to wrap these around him, okay?”

He’d only ever been this serious when protecting you from that bear two days prior, and you swallowed before nodding in response.

You began to carefully slide the first strip over one of the gashes, about to tie it off, when Leon interjected, “Tight, but not too tight.”

“Got it,” you said, fingers shaking as you followed his direction for each wound. You weren’t sure if it was the cold or the nerves but you managed it well enough.

When you were done, Leon stood. Wolfie was held in his arms, the dog’s blood smearing against his bare chest. It made your stomach twist with unease.

“I have bandages in my first-aid kit,” you told him as he began the trek back to the path, trying to keep up with his long, hurried gait.

“He’s lost a lot of blood,” Leon said. “We can change the bandages, but I don’t know if he’s… I don’t know if he’ll make it.”

You couldn’t reply, tears pricking your eyes at the thought.

Leon’s voice wavered as he continued, “I know he’s old. I knew I’d lose him eventually. But not like this. Not this soon…” 

You pushed back your tears, sadness giving way to conviction. “After we replace the bandages, I’m gonna take him to the vet, okay? You’ll have to carry him to my car, but I think if we’re fast, we can do this.” 

“What if he dies on the way there?” Leon asked miserably, “I don’t want to be away from him in his last moments.”

“I know it’s a risk, but we have a real chance of saving him, Leon. You told me to trust you yesterday, right? Well, now I need you to trust me.”

He seemed so conflicted but eventually nodded, his features solemn. “Okay. I’ll trust you.”

You reached over and squeezed his arm comfortingly.

God, I hope I’m right about this.

+++

It had been a long time since Leon felt this afraid.

He had lost everything once, and was forced to spend a decade trying to survive the hole that loss gouged out of him. Just a void sitting inside his chest, the edges slowly creeping out to devour what was left.

Wolfie had been there for him in ways humans never were. Even when he wasn’t this grotesque monstrosity, he would rather die than burden someone else with his innate brokenness, preferring to mask it with his need to help or his oftentimes cynical sense of humor.

The truth of the matter? He didn’t know who he was when he wasn’t useful to someone. When he wasn’t a protector. He had never felt so unmoored, going without this self-imposed purpose to drive him forward.

Wolfie had renewed that purpose a month after his transformation, when Leon was at his lowest. He limped up to him with a swollen leg after being bit by a viper, clearly recognizing him despite his mutated features. He had done all he could to nurse the poor dog back to health, and Wolfie hadn’t left his side since.

He sometimes wondered if it was fate that brought them together again—if he allowed himself to believe in something beyond the mundane—but he had renounced god and any other spiritual bullshit ages ago.

He looked down at the dog in his arms, no longer in pain due to his venom’s painkilling properties, but his breaths were still concerningly shallow. He wanted nothing more than to sprint full speed back to the house but worried the movement would only exacerbate Wolfie’s injuries.

He wasn’t completely sure he was okay with letting you take his dog from him—not wanting to miss any precious time he might have left—but he agreed that it was worth a shot to bring him to the vet clinic, even if he couldn’t join you.

He glanced over at you, your teeth gnawing into your bottom lip as you silently walked beside him, and was at least glad you were here with him in this nightmare. He couldn’t imagine what it would be like to do this alone.

Eventually, you made it to the house, and he moved aside to let you open the door for him. You both rushed into the building, you grabbing your first-aid kit and a pair of scissors.

You were quick to find the proper bandages, and Leon just held Wolfie’s body out so you could cut off the bloodied strips of his shirt and re-wrap the wounds. Your hands were shaking, but you were careful and methodical, so he didn’t comment on it.

When you finished, you grabbed a blanket and a towel, laying them on the dining table so Leon could bundle the dog tightly inside to protect him from the rain. It was a bit of a walk to the hunting lodge, after all.

You moved away to wash your hands and find your car keys, but Leon could only stare down at your leg as you came back into the room. There were mud and grass stains, which he expected, though he was caught off guard by the knee of your jeans being torn, bright red trickling down your shin in a small but steady stream.

“What happened to your leg?” he questioned, unable to recall when you could have gotten the injury.

“Oh, it's nothing. I just tripped when I was chasing after you. Nearly lost you completely because of it, but I found you pretty fast,” you told him nonchalantly as you packed your bag.

He felt his stomach drop at your words, realizing that he hadn’t once looked back to check on you during his mad dash to find Wolfie. The thought that you were hurt and lost in the middle of the woods during a storm that scared you, and he just left you there, making bile rise to his throat.

“Fuck, I’m so sorry. I should have waited for you… I didn’t even know you weren’t behind me anymore…”

You shook your head, smiling at him, but the expression couldn’t hide the exhaustion in your eyes. “It’s okay, I promise. You were worried about Wolfie. I don’t blame you.”

“It’s not okay,” he seethed, his own self-hatred pooling into his chest. “I left you alone in a storm! In the dark! What if that bear was still around, huh? It could have killed you and I left you there, with nothing to defend yourself with!”

“Leon, I’m fine. Nothing happened beyond this little cut.” Your voice was calm and he wished he could hate it. Hate you for how you could talk him into or out of almost anything.

It had been mere days. He didn’t know you, and yet he trusted you implicitly. Trusted you with the life of his only companion.

And then, when he asked you to trust in him, he had sabotaged it in an instant.

He didn’t respond, knowing he might say something he’d regret, so he only watched as you quickly rolled up your pant leg to blot and disinfect the cut. He disliked seeing you in pain, witnessing the way your face screwed up as you used peroxide on the small wound—heard the hiss you made as it bubbled up on your broken skin.

You were wrapping one of the extra bandages over it when Leon looked out the window, the storm only hitting harder as the hours passed. “Maybe we should wait it out. You shouldn’t be driving in this.”

You sighed as you unrolled the leg of your jeans, walking over to stare into the dark with him. “Under normal circumstances, you couldn’t pay me to go out in this weather. But I don’t think we have time to waste, Leon.”

You both glanced over at Wolfie on the table, wrapped up and hopefully comfortable in the blanket. Leon had no choice in this if he didn’t want to lose his dog.

He was meant to protect him and now he was sending him off with someone most people would call a stranger.

Any quality of his that could be halfway useful in this situation, and he wasn’t even there when Wolfie was attacked. And now his only companion was bleeding out on his dining table and he could do nothing to stop it but put him in someone else’s care and hope he lived.  

Leon had all this strength, all these heightened senses. His entire body was deemed a weapon. And yet he couldn’t even save his dog.

What was the point of any of it, then?

And what would he have done if you weren’t there to help him? Watch Wolfie slowly die, helpless to prevent it?

Worse still, what if it was you who had been attacked?

He imagined your lifeless body lying in his arms, frightened eyes wide and staring off into nothing, drenched in blood that wouldn’t stop pouring out of you, and he could do absolutely. Fucking. Nothing.

“Come on, Leon. We have to go,” came your gentle voice, pulling him out of his dark thoughts. 

He only nodded in response, grabbing Wolfie and heading back out into the downpour, beyond the safety of his home.

The two of you trudged in silence through the village, the storm raging above your heads. He could practically sense your anxiety coming off of you in waves, but you were doing your best to remain stoic. He didn’t know if it was to calm yourself or him, but he appreciated the attempt.  

Finally, you made it to the hunter’s lodge, and you spoke up as soon as the door shut out the torrent. “I was wondering, how did you know where Wolfie was? Back there in the forest?”

“The storm dampened it, but I could hear him whimpering from the path. When I got close enough, I could smell the blood.”

“Right, super senses. Thank god for ‘em.”

He glanced at you sharply. “I’d rather have stopped him from getting hurt in the first place.”

“Hey, I know this sucks, but he’s alive and he’s going to stay that way if I have a say in it.”

He really took you in at that. Your face was wet, strands of your hair sticking to your forehead, but the fire in your eyes…

He had no way to know if things would work out the way you wanted, but your conviction—your unyielding, infectious hope—quelled the needling fear, if only for a moment. 

He might not believe in god, but angels must be real if you were standing beside him.

You made it to the car shortly after, Leon gently placing Wolfie into the backseat as you threw your bag into the passenger side and sat behind the wheel.

You turned the ignition, the vehicle roaring to life as Leon looked down at you, urging, “Please be careful. I might lose Wolfie, but I can’t lose you too.”

“I will be. I promise.” Before you closed the door, you glanced back up at him, asking, “What are you going to do while we’re gone?”

He clenched his clawed hands into fists, feeling the sharp edges dig into his skin as he grated out, “I’m going to kill that fucking bear.”

You looked shocked by his words but nodded in agreement. “Okay. Good luck.”

And with that, you closed the door.

Leon stepped back to let you drive off, knowing that the fate of his companion was out of his hands.

He exhaled harshly and turned on his heels, ready for the hunt.

Now this is what he was good for.

Shifting onto all fours, Leon was quick to shed his more human qualities for the sake of the kill, sprinting faster than he ever had on his legs alone. He focused solely on his senses to direct him through the downpour and to his prey, feeling his claws digging into the wet earth below.

As he had told you earlier, the storm dampened his abilities, but that wouldn’t stop him from reaching his objective.

In fact, it only made him more hellbent on completing it. 

It took him nearly an hour to find where the massive animal was lurking: a cave not far from where he had found Wolfie bleeding into the mud.

Despite its size, there was not much of a fight as Leon latched those deadly teeth of his around its throat and ripped. It barely had time to even register him launching at it before it was wheezing and choking on its own blood.

In this form, Leon was too proficient at killing. A part of him—deep, deep down—wanted to take his time tearing the beast limb from limb, listen to it roar and whine in agony before he finally put it out of its misery.

When its jilted movements eventually stilled, blood coating the cave floor and Leon from his mouth to the knees of his dirty pants, he stumbled back into the wall and closed his eyes tightly.

Vengeance. It was something he understood, but he didn’t see the point of it. Blood for blood’s sake never sat right with him. He only sought to kill out of necessity—to survive.

And yet, here he was, bloodlust finally fading as the bear’s large corpse laid before his weary gaze.

He could pretend all he wanted that this was an act of protection, a means to prevent further attacks in the future, but the sadistic glee he felt when his teeth sunk into warm flesh… there was nothing to excuse that.

This bear was simply living as it was born to do, even in its aggression.

Maybe Leon really was losing his humanity. Not a descent into a mindless killing machine, but a dissipation of self—fully aware of his own cruelty, but basking in it instead of rebuking it. 

He wasn’t sure which version scared him most.

He had to make this worth it, then. He had to alleviate this burning shame and break apart the guilt sitting heavy in his gut like a stone.

And so, with care, he carved up the carcass of the once dignified beast and devoured it, leaving only bones and fur in his wake.

It was the only form of reverence he could convey.

He dug a shallow hole in the mud beside the cave, laying the gory remains inside before covering it once more.

The storm had finally started to clear as he finished the task, the scent of petrichor not quite able to hide that of blood. 

Unsure of how long it would take for you to return with news of Wolfie’s condition, he rushed over to the hunter’s lodge to wait out the hours.

They passed slowly. Agonizingly. All he could do was curl in on himself and sit just inside the door of the old building, wet with rain and blood and mud. 

He once thought his initial transformation was the worst he had ever felt, that it was rock bottom. Before that, it had been what transpired in this village. And before that, it had been the disaster of Raccoon City.

He realized bitterly there was always further to fall.

He wasn’t sure why you were so adamant to befriend him like this. To help him. Was this pity? Was Leon some charity case for you? 

But then he thought of the way you smiled at him, the look on your face as he joined you in the cold water of the lake, the way you drifted to him like you were caught in his orbit and couldn’t fight the pull. 

The thought that maybe, just maybe, you felt the way he did… it was a jolt across his slumped form.

However, nothing could change what he was. His nature, it was a vicious one. And someday, you might not survive the animal that unfurled inside of him—through him.

Whatever happened after tonight, he knew one thing: his only escape was death.

He would simply wait out the end of your trip, selfishly wanting to wring out any joy he might find in your company, and if Wolfie survived the night, he would send him home with you to live out the rest of his days. He was certain you would take good care of him, provide for him better than Leon could ever hope.

But, he was reminded, Wolfie might not survive.

And it was Leon’s neglect that was to blame.

Useless, useless, useless, he repeated like a mantra in his head. 

He never imagined he’d have more to lose than he already did. More to ruin.

He wasn’t sure how long he sat there, the dawn breaking up the night. The sun’s warmth upon his skin did little to lighten his mood—as it burned more than soothed—but then he thought of the way your soft flesh felt against his and he nearly fell into a dream, eyes drifting shut.

He shot up suddenly at the sound of an approaching vehicle, though, his misery morphing into an all-consuming apprehension.

Was he prepared to grieve?

Your car finally pulled up near the lodge, and he rushed to the side of it, his heart palpitating as he stared into the backseat window.

He saw Wolfie laying there, breathing slow and steady.

He was alive.

Leon had never felt so relieved. 

He turned to face you as you opened the door, looking up at him with tired eyes.

Your expression turned to full-blown concern when you took in his appearance, reaching out to touch the blood staining his bare chest. “Are you okay?”

Leon placed his fingers over your hand, holding it close to him, the warmth of it more of a balm than the sun ever was. “I’m fine. It isn’t mine.” 

You sighed, eased by his words. “You found the bear, I take it?”

He nodded solemnly. “It won’t bother us anymore.” You didn’t reply and he looked back at Wolfie’s unconscious form once more. “How did everything go? Will he be alright?”

“It went great. He got stitches and a blood transfusion, and they kept him overnight for observation. Went ahead and got him a few shots when they said he was in the clear this morning. He took it all like a champ.” You dropped your hand, to Leon’s chagrin, grabbing your bag from the passenger seat. “They told me to change his bandages every few hours and monitor for any infection. Gave me antibiotics and a few days' worth of painkillers. He should be just fine.”

“What did you tell them about the injury?” he questioned, suddenly concerned by what information you might have let slip in your distress.

“Don’t worry, I told them he got attacked while I was out camping. No specifics, I promise.” A look of realization then dawned on your features, to his confusion, before you began sifting through your bag.

You then pulled out a blue collar from its depths. It jingled as you held it up to Leon, shot tags dangling behind a bone-shaped one at the front, sporting the dog’s name and what he assumed was your number. 

“Picked this up before I took him from the clinic. Hope he’ll wear it,” you said, shrugging as you stood from the car.

A flood of emotions washed over Leon, then, namely an overwhelming sense of gratitude for what you had done for him. It went deeper than the collar in your hand, deeper than even saving his dog. 

You had faced a storm for him, soaked to the bone and afraid. You suffered being lost in darkness with an injured knee, even if it was only briefly. You drove through a torrent and stayed up all night to make sure his companion would live. You witnessed him covered in blood and filth and you reached out…

You were always reaching out.

Before he could think it through, he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into a tight embrace. He felt your plush body pressed against his hard edges—heard the way you gasped in shock. You almost immediately settled into it, though, holding him in turn despite the drying grime flaking onto your clothes.

“Thank you, for everything,” he murmured, face buried into your neck, the natural smell of you drifting to his nose. It was all at once sweet and grounding.

There was so much more he wanted to say, but this would have to suffice, the words caught in his throat.

“I’d do it all again in a heartbeat,” you whispered, your small hands sliding across his back soothingly.

The warmth of you made him ache, made his eyes burn, never wanting to let you go.

He knew he must.

The walk back to the house was a silent one, the only sounds the rainwater dripping onto the ground and the squelching of mud underfoot, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. The two of you were just exhausted and still reeling from how the night had spiraled to near tragedy. 

Leon glanced down at Wolfie’s sleeping form in his arms, so drugged up on pain meds he likely wouldn’t wake for anything. He gave the dog’s head a gentle stroke, beyond relieved that, for now, it wouldn’t be the last time. 

The three of you entered Leon’s home, deciding that you would bring Wolfie’s bed and blankets downstairs, nestling them beside the fireplace to keep him comfortable and prevent him from exerting himself more than necessary once he was up and moving again. 

Once the dog was settled in, Leon could only stand and stare, worried that if he took his eyes off of him for a moment, he might die in his absence.

“I’ll make you up a bath, Leon,” you said quietly from the kitchen, already bringing a large pot to boil on the stove. “You could really use one.”

He sighed, finally dragging his gaze from Wolfie so that he could level it on you. “Don’t worry about that. I can just clean up at the lake.”

You huffed indignantly, approaching him and taking him in—in all his filthy, monstrous glory. “No way. You need a nice hot bath, and that’s that.”

“You’re stubborn as hell, you know that?” he replied, scoffing good-naturedly. In truth, the thought of you caring for him like this made his heart beat a little faster. 

“Oh, I know,” you said with a smile, one that was so sweet, he would hold on to the sight of it for the rest of his life, “but it’s what you like about me.”

He found himself chuckling for the first time since last night, always so surprised by your ability to pull him out of his misery.

“Not the only thing,” he said lowly, fingers twitching at his sides to reach out and touch you again. 

Your cheeks flushed pink at his words, but you shook your head and laughed. “Go on, sit down for a bit while I finish what I started.”

He wanted to argue—to assist you in your task—because being waited on like this was something he had never been used to. Instead, he did as he was told, plopping down next to Wolfie on the floor and petting him to pass the time. 

He had almost fallen asleep again, unable to fight his eyes from drooping closed, when you called to him, informing him his bath was ready. He stood and stretched, yawning as he met you at the entrance of the side room. 

“Here,” you told him, a pile of his clothes, a towel, and a washcloth in your arms, “knock yourself out. Well, don’t really.” 

He took them gratefully, smiling at your ridiculous comment as he thanked you and disappeared behind the corner. 

He quickly shed what was left of his tattered clothes, dropping them haphazardly onto the floor before stepping into the tub and lowering himself in the water.

It was hot, but it didn’t burn. In fact, it was rather soothing as it lapped at his skin. The tub was almost too small for him, however, his knees peeking out of the water from having to fold his long legs.

It was cramped but not completely uncomfortable. He sunk in a little further, letting out a pleased sigh. 

This was definitely better than the lake, that was for sure. 

Before he could relax fully, he caught sight of something on the side table next to him. He turned his head and instantly regretted it.

It was a makeup mirror you had brought, and it was angled in a way he could stare directly at his own reflection.

It made him flinch.

He didn’t look away, however, gritting his teeth against the image of himself he had loathed from the moment he transformed. But not only was he faced with his monstrous visage once more, he could now see the blood and dirt caked onto his skin, exposing him for what he truly was.

Something that was meant to kill.  

He fought the urge to shatter the glass, not wanting to destroy something that belonged to you, instead leaning over and turning it away.

As he laid back in the water and began scrubbing the grime from his body with the rag you had provided for him, a barrage of thoughts overtook his tired mind, all of them relating to you. 

He couldn’t bear to look at himself, yet you rarely took your eyes off of him.

He was disgusted by his own existence and the form he was forced to live in, yet you treated him like he was normal. Like he was a person. 

He quickly finished bathing, the water starting to cool, but he was in no rush to leave, allowing himself this moment of peace and to think. 

He rested his clawed hand against his chest and could still feel where your small palm had been placed there, could still feel the way your flesh gave under his tight hold when had embraced you. The warmth that radiated from your very being.

His hand lowered mindlessly as he lingered on the image of you stripping bare to him on that boat, offering him your impish little smirk and batted lashes over twinkling eyes. 

It lowered further as he thought of your lips, wondered how they’d feel against his skin—how soft they would be.

He hissed as his hand gently wrapped around the base of his cock, almost shocked to feel it was already achingly hard.

Leon couldn’t remember the last time he had touched himself like this.

In the beginning, he worried he would hurt himself, what with the small daggers that were his new fingers. Eventually, he dared to wander—carefully, of course—and soon it was one of the few things human left of him, to have this libido to relieve. But as the years passed and his body changed, he hardly had the urge.

And now here he was, fisting his cock at the thought of you. 

He held back a groan as he slid his thumb across his slit, imagining it was your tongue instead.

He could picture your pretty eyes looking up at him as you took him into your mouth, how you’d tease him with kitten licks and the gentle scrape of your teeth until he was begging you for more, how you’d pull away just to level him with that mischievous smirk you wore so well before you’d cave and take him to the hilt.

Leon gasped as he picked up the speed of his pumping fist, lifting his hips above the cooled water, trying to avoid sloshing it onto the floor with the motion. 

He then thought of your cunt, how sweet it would taste as he laved it with his tongue—mused about what precious little sounds he could pull from those plush, kissable lips of yours. He could almost feel how your fingers would card through his hair, yank it to get him closer to where you wanted him; how he’d tease you the way you did him before finally conceding, your desperation for him almost more delicious than the very essence of you that he fed upon.

He grit his teeth as he neared the edge, fighting to hold back.

Too soon. It was too soon.

He paused his movements, taking in a slow deep breath to calm his rapidly beating heart, letting the wave of pleasure that nearly crested over him fade to a lapping tide.

His mind slipped back into his fantasy, then, needing to finish what he started before he was driven mad with desire.

He imagined you underneath him now, bodies flush together, the head of his cock sliding against you—not a taunt but a preparation for what was to come.

He wondered how tight you’d be as he pushed inside, how warm and wet and inviting, squeezing his hand as he emulated the scene from his head.

How well would you take him?

Although much of his body had changed over the years—grown—what sat beneath his belt had not. This was not a concern for him, however, having been well-endowed even for a human man of his former stature. In fact, he almost seemed more… proportionate… now.

Would he be too much?

Or would you plead for him to go harder and faster? Deeper?

Leon couldn’t stop the near growl that escaped him as he imagined the way you’d cry out into the crook of his neck, his name like a breathless prayer against his skin. He could feel you wrap your legs around him, scraping your nails across his spine hard enough to draw blood. 

He was on the precipice once more, but this time he didn’t hold back.

He thought of you looking into his eyes as you came undone beneath him, wide and full of unshed tears, overwhelmed by the euphoria coursing through you. His body shuttered at the idea of your walls tightening impossibly around him, pulsing and wet.

He managed to bite back the whine that clawed up his throat as his cock twitched, his seed spurting across his chest and stomach.

He collapsed back into the tub, his mind so gloriously blank and full of fuzzy warmth as he caught his breath.

And then the realization hit him.

He had just masturbated. To you. While you were just on the other side of the wall, without even a door to fully separate the room. 

He was flooded with remorse, then, wondering if he had managed to keep quiet enough so that you wouldn’t hear or suspect his reckless sin against you.

He stilled, listening intently to any sounds in the house, his inhuman ears able to pick out the overlapping breaths of you and Wolfie over the whistling wind outside, right there in the dining room. 

He swallowed the lump of shame that formed in his throat and roughly wiped the spend from his flesh, the harsh scrape of coarse fabric a small punishment for his transgression.

As he dried himself and changed into sleepwear, he wondered how disgusted you’d be with him if you knew just what he was thinking.

Surely, you’d never look at him the same.

He wanted to blame his exhaustion from a sleepless night, but he knew deep down this was bound to happen eventually. Your very existence was a temptation to him, after all. 

He took a steadying breath before he finally turned the corner to face you, pleasantly surprised and more than a little relieved that you were fast asleep, curled up on his couch with a blanket draped across your legs.

He smiled softly as he approached you, all worry forgotten as a swell of affection replaced it.

You looked so sweet laying there, head resting upon the pillow you must have brought from upstairs and your pressed hands, your breaths puffing out a strand of hair hanging over your mouth. Leon quietly chuckled as he tucked it behind your ear and pulled the blanket up and around your shoulders to keep you warm before standing upright once more.

He knew as he gazed upon you that regardless of whether you returned his feelings or not, his own might never leave him. He would have to make his peace with that.

He sighed, closing his eyes tightly before opening them once more, deciding that was a problem for later.

He then sat beside Wolfie, checking on him briefly before laying down right there on the floor, exhaustion overtaking any real need for comfort. Not like he hadn’t done it the first night of your arrival, anyway.

As he drifted into a deep slumber…

He couldn’t help but dream of you.

+++

The night had been a long one.

You had sat in the emergency room of the vet clinic with Wolfie for hours, watching as they tried to keep him alive.

You would never get the image of his terrified eyes out of your head, looking to you for help or for comfort as people he didn’t know surrounded him while he couldn’t even move.

You didn’t let your tears escape until they told you he was stable, locking yourself in their bathroom across the hall and sobbing into your hands, the events of the night finally catching up to you.

He would live.

You weren’t sure you could forgive yourself if he didn’t. You wondered if Leon would have.

Oh, Leon, you thought worriedly, I hope you’re okay.

You wished you could get ahold of him somehow to let him know Wolfie was alive, aware of the fact that even if he owned a cell phone, the village had no service anyway. You were half tempted to drive out to see him and tell him the news, but you didn’t want to leave Wolfie alone for that long.

You then recalled the bear and Leon’s promise to kill it, hoping desperately it didn’t hurt him. You didn’t know what you’d do if you drove back just to find him bleeding out in the mud like he had found Wolfie, the thought piercing your heart like a bullet.

To calm yourself, you replayed the day in your head, focusing only on all the good parts.

You thought of how he opened up to you at his friends’ graves, how he held your hand as you sat in the dirt together. 

You thought of how he slipped his palms across your waist on the boat, how he spoke so lowly in your ear, how your faces got so close in the water. 

You thought of how he stroked your hair while you sat by the fireplace, the affection so freely given it was as if he couldn’t stop himself from touching you.

You thought about how concerned he was for you when you returned to the house after finding Wolfie, how he was upset you had gotten hurt and lost in the woods and blamed himself. 

And then you thought of what he said before you left for town:

“I might lose Wolfie, but I can’t lose you too.”

Those words were looping in your brain over and over.

You knew he was just concerned with your safety, that he’d probably feel guilty if something happened to you while you were trying to save his dog, but the way he said it… The way he looked at you…

“I can’t lose you.”

It was like he meant it.

Despite your anxiety, you managed to nap a bit on the bench outside of the observation room, asking the veterinarian to wake you when Wolfie came to.

In the morning, while he was still out cold, you took a brief stroll outside of the clinic, making your way into the neighboring pet shop to bide the time. 

As you passed the shelves of toys and supplies, your eyes caught on a large blue collar, realizing that it was about Wolfie’s size. You held it aloft as you considered buying it, thinking it was almost silly to put a collar on a half-feral dog.

But then you thought of the other outsiders that might appear in the village every so often. You worried they might dog-nap Wolfie for his friendliness or kill him for his intimidating appearance, deciding it may be worth the purchase, just in case.

Besides, Leon seemed drawn to the color blue, if the majority of his shirts and his preference regarding the castle’s art was anything to go by. It was oddly endearing imagining the scorpion man and his wolf-dog matching in such a way.

After buying it and getting an engraved name tag, you returned to the clinic, petting Wolfie and offering him soft words of encouragement as the vet gave him some much-needed shots.

The rain finally subsided as you made your way back to the village, your nerves still alight despite Wolfie’s improved condition. 

When you finally pulled up to the dirt road near the lodge, you were overjoyed to see Leon appear beside the car.

Your heart was in your throat, however, when got a good look at him, his face and still-shirtless torso covered in dirt and so much blood.

You couldn’t stop the instinctual need to touch him, reaching out and placing your hand against his stained chest. “Are you okay?”

He gently laid his clawed fingers across your knuckles, pressing your palm into his skin, as if your very being was a solace to him. “I’m fine. It isn’t mine.” 

Your relief at that was palpable, beyond overjoyed that he was perfectly safe. Though, the blood had to come from somewhere, and it wasn’t all Wolfie’s. “You found the bear, I take it?”

Leon’s eyes seemed to darken, but he nodded, replying, “It won’t bother us anymore.”

The answer was jarringly cryptic, and Leon seemed more upset to admit he killed the bear than you would have thought, considering how eager he was to do it before you left.

You shook away your thoughts as he asked you questions, the conversation turning to Wolfie’s health.

You then recalled your purchase at the pet store, pulling it out of your bag and waving it in front of Leon. “Picked this up before I took him from the clinic. Hope he’ll wear it.”

You stood from the car, ready to get back to the house and take a nice, long nap, when Leon wrapped his arms around you, to your utter shock. 

He held you close to him, the strength of it enough to feel your bodies meld together, but not enough to hurt you.

It took you a moment to register it all, short-circuiting at the feeling of him against you, but you eventually hugged him in return, shivering as he tucked his face into the crook of your neck and let his breath fan across your skin.

“Thank you. For everything.” His voice was tight in his throat and it made your heart ache to hear it. 

It was the least you could do, a part of you deep down blaming yourself for what happened to Wolfie, because you had kept Leon out longer than he wanted. What if Wolfie had only been in the woods waiting for the two of you to come back? Maybe if you had agreed to return to the house before the storm hit, none of this would have happened to begin with. 

Instead of saying that, you only replied, “I’d do it all again in a heartbeat.”

It was still the truth, as you would do anything to protect this half-man and his dog—willing to suffer more than just a nasty cut and a sleepless night if it meant they were safe.

Leon pulled away, to your despair, and grabbed Wolfie, the three of you heading back to the house.

As you set up Wolfie near the fireplace, you couldn’t help but notice the way Leon wouldn’t take his eyes off the sleeping dog, and although you understood it, he needed to wash the blood and grime from his body and get some much-needed rest.

If your night had been rough, you couldn’t imagine what his had been like.

He argued against you making him up a hot bath, but you wouldn’t hear it, telling him your decision was final. 

“You’re stubborn as hell, you know that?” he said in faux annoyance.  

You replied, smiling, “Oh, I know, but it’s what you like about me.”

“Not the only thing.” The words and the way he said them made a tingle run up your spine, but you were quick to shoo him off, taking a deep breath as you went about your task of filling the tub.

You changed quickly into your pajamas before sending Leon to his bath, flopping onto the couch with a quiet groan after fetching your pillow and a blanket from upstairs.

You thought that maybe you could sleep forever as you shifted, getting comfortable on the old piece of furniture. You wanted to wait for Leon, though, staring up at the ceiling in quiet cogitation.

Despite your fear that you were the reason Wolfie was out in the storm in the first place, you couldn’t understate your role in saving his life. Had you not been there, Leon wouldn’t have been able to do anything, and you could sense the distress that caused him at the realization.

You worried deeply about what might happen after you leave.

A stray tear escaped your eye and you battled the awful thought of one or both of them dying out here in this village, all alone, with no one to call for. 

Wolfie was old and this place was dangerous. And even if Leon ended up being fine physically, you knew his loneliness would eat him alive, especially with the inevitable loss of his dog an ever-looming threat.

You squeezed your eyes shut, wiping them to stop you from crying.

You thought about Leon’s smile instead. Thought of his voice and his laugh and the way he looked at you. Like you were normal. Like you were important.

You could still feel the way his arms wrapped around you, how safe you felt. How cherished.

You sighed deeply, turning over to stare at Wolfie, watching the slow rise and fall of his side as he breathed. You reached out your hand to him, gently stroking his head, his fur soft and warm.

You wondered as your eyes drooped shut and your mind began to fade to unconsciousness, your fingers slowly falling away from Wolfie’s form:

How could you leave them now?

--------------------

Masterlist | Previous | Next