#which is how i ended up with Jughead

[horsechestnut]

Was tired of my long box being plain white, so I decided to do something about it!

(Yes some characters are on here more than once, turns out coming up with 60 characters I like is a lot, so I allowed for the same character with a different alias and didn't count the front and back.)

The lid is intentionally unfinished so I can add other characters I fall in love with in the future.

Also jokes on me because I spent so long working on this I collected almost enough comics to fill it and will have to get another box soon...

[wolfofansbach]

BEING A LIST OF THE THIRTEEN GREATEST RIVERDALE LINES, ON THE OCCASION OF THAT SHOW'S TERMINATION

As our much loved/hated show comes to an end, I feel compelled to record, for posterity, the greatest thirteen pieces of dialogue to spring from the pens of RAS and his henchmen. It was, of course, originally a top ten list, but I simply could not exclude a few of these treasures. Without further ado: 

13. 

“I dropped out in the 4th grade, to sell drugs, to support my nana.” 

“That means you haven't known the triumphs and defeats, the epic highs and lows of high school football.” 

Spoken by: an inmate of Leopold and Loeb Juvenile Detention Center, and Archie Andrews. 

In: 3 x 2 

Yeah, okay, this one had to be on the list. It’s funny, I’ll admit. It’s a great example of the overwrought semi-sincere melodrama that helped make this show so special. It’s low on the list largely because The Normies got their hands on it, so every time I hear someone make a reference I get all “do not cite the deep magic to me, witch.” 

12. 

“No! No! What are we supposed to do now? I’m horny as heck!”

Spoken by: Archie Andrews 

In: 7 x 16

Season 7 is undeniably dreadful, and yet there are diamonds in the rough. The occasion is the failure of a projector, just as Archie and Reggie prepare to watch a pornographic film. The utter desperation with which KJ Apa delivers this line is exquisite. One is made to feel they are witnessing a genuine tragedy. 

11. 

“Tonight, they’re making an exception and debuting a cover of the song my parents claim they were listening to the night Jason and I were conceived.” 

Spoken by: Cheryl Blossom. 

In: 1 x 1 

Really a fantastic line. A wonderful encapsulation of the casual absurdity of Cheryl’s character, and a foretaste of the lunacy we would plumb in later episodes and seasons. 

10. 

“In case you haven’t noticed, I’m weird. I’m a weirdo. I don’t fit in and I don’t want to fit in. Have you ever seen me without this stupid hat on? That’s weird.” 

Spoken by: Jughead Jones

In: 1 x 10

A genuine classic. “High school football” before “high school football.” One is never entirely sure just how sincere the line is meant to be, both on a meta-level and in-universe. A perfect illumination of Jughead’s pretentiousness. It is made all the better by the occasional cuts to Lili Reinhard’s agonized face. 

9. 

“At the last dance, multiple students were murdered.” 

Spoken by: Principal Holden Honey. 

In: 4 x 2

Delivered as an explanation to Toni and Cheryl, as to why there would be no school dance this year. Principal Honey is in fact supremely rational in the cancellation of this dance. This being Riverdale, he is of course treated as an unreasonable tyrant. 

8. 

“Bro, I know all the secrets of this universe.” 

Spoken by: Archie Andrews (evil version)

In: 6 x 5 

Spoken as evil Archie reveals his evil plan to keep the parallel universes apart. KJ Apa’s delivery once again makes this line. He is comically sinister. Strangely, he sells it. 

7. 

“A Vughead kiss, right now, in the present might be precisely what it takes to save a future Bughead from imploding.” 

Spoken by: Jughead Jones. 

In: 2 x 14

One of those lines that both makes me laugh and makes me genuinely angry. This was a fairly early season, and this may have actually been the first line to get me asking, ‘did they genuinely write and deliver that?’ Extra points for use of the atrocious ‘Vughead’ portmanteau ship name rather than ‘Jeronica.’ 

6. 

“I’m the ultimate wild card. I am the daughter of The Black Hood. The nightmare from next door. I’m training with the FBI and I’m coming for you, you psycho bitch.” 

Spoken by: Betty Cooper

In: 4 x 14 

Just delicious. Another one of those lines that leaves you somewhat unsure whether or not the writers understood how genuinely hysterical it was. “The Nightmare from Next Door” sounds like an announcer hyping up a wrestler. Spoken with a raw sincerity by Lili Reinhart. Also points for the heavy homoeroticism between Betty and Donna. 

5. 

“For I am Cheryl Blossom, Queen of the Bees.” 

Spoken by: Cheryl Blossom.

In: 5 x 16. 

This one really doesn’t require any elaboration. 

4. 

“Elijah ascended…and I will, too.” 

Spoken by: Edgar Evernever.

In: 4 x 5. 

Admittedly, this one is only spectacular with context. But in context—the context being that Chad Michael Murray delivers this line while dressed like Evel Knievel and standing in a cartoon rocket right out of a Warner Bros cartoon—it becomes utterly magnificent. 

3. 

“It’s not queer baiting, it’s saving the world.” 

Spoken by: Veronica Lodge. 

In: 6 x 22. 

It’s actually hard for me to decide whether this one is funnier with or without context. Without context it’s wonderful, but it possibly becomes even funnier when you know that the context is that Veronica needs to kiss Cheryl to transfer superpowers into her body so she can turn into a Scarlet Witch knock-off and stop a magic comet summoned by Sephiroth an English wizard who is also the Devil. 

2. 

“If there’s no wedding reception, it means the Gargoyle King has won.” 

Spoken by: Kevin Keller. 

In: 3 x 12.

One of my personal favorites. This is a perfect line because like #3, it requires no real elaboration. There is absolutely no context in which it isn’t hysterical. 

1 .

“Word of my exploits serving Nick his comeuppance has seeped into the demimonde of mobsters and molls my father used to associate with, so the five families are sending their youngest and brightest, their ‘princes,’ as it were to, well, come court the rare Mafia Princess who can belly up to the bar with the big boys.

Spoken by: Veronica Lodge. 

In: 2 x 20. 

This is, in my opinion, the all-timer. Every word is perfect. The rapid-fire alliteration. The use of the word ‘demimonde.’ The entirely unnecessary addition of ‘as it were.’ This is borderline Dr. Seuss. The fact that Camila Mendes delivered it without cracking a smile should have won her an Emmy. No. An Oscar. This line is Riverdale. 

[fbfh]

Sweet Pea x soft!reader hcs

wc: 1.3k

genre: mutual pining, tooth rotting fluff

pairing: sweet pea x soft reader

warnings: reader is implied to be smaller than sweet pea but he's like 6'3 and beefy so it's not too out of the question, reader is called clingy needs attention and hates being alone by jughead but sweet pea LOVES that about you, size difference, protective sweet pea, sweet pea is a rottweiler boyfriend, kisses and cuddles, mentions of fighting and gang activity

song recs: fight for me - heathers obc, big boy - sza

a/n: been watching the anime my love story and it's feuling my sweet pea obsession lol. I've also decided that while horribly bad, riverdale is camp. If I convince myself it's camp I can drag myself through it. It's supposed to be bad and make no sense and of course there's a "goblin king" running around town causing problems because it's camp.

tags: @yesv01 @magcon7280

Okay so like I said in my initial drabble

When Sweet Pea first sees you he deadass thinks you’re an angel

You are so sweet and soft and perfect

The only way to describe you is angelic

He’s so wrapped up in how alluring and enamoring you are that he doesn’t notice you’re just as drawn to him

You immediately see past his gorgeous and intimidating exterior to the soft great big heart inside him

You see all his good traits and you’re not scared off that he’s a little rough around the edges

But Sweet Pea sees that you’re not rough around the edges

And he doesn’t want you to become that way

Especially not because of him

He feels so protective over you from day one

Even though he’s fighting his obvious feelings for you and ignoring your obvious feelings for him, he still tries to look out for you

Keeps an eye on you a little, just to make sure no one’s giving you any trouble

You’re friends with Betty so you’re sort of tied to the serpents already, but he doesn’t want to drag you any deeper into gang life than you already are

So he tries not to fall any harder for you than he already has

Even though Jughead is always bringing you up, telling him that Betty says you’ve been asking after him

He can’t even process that Jughead just said you’ve been asking after him and about him a lot because of how Jughead keeps describing you

He says you’re sort of clingy and need a lot of attention, that you get nervous in crowds and you’re really touchy and hate being alone 

That’s why your last boyfriend broke up with you

But the more Jughead talks about you and your apparent flaws, the more perfect you sound to Sweet Pea

You’re exactly what he’s been dreaming of

Someone he can go all in with, someone who wants him and needs him as much as he wants you and needs you

Which is obviously a lot

And now it’s getting harder and harder to listen to that logical voice that tells him he’s no good for you, that you deserve someone from northside who can take good care of you and not drag you into any more chaos than you’re already surrounded by 

But you’ve been writing his name in your diary over and over for weeks now, and it’s really just a matter of time before you end up together 

All your friends know this

Betty and Jughead and Toni know this

Even Fangs knows this

Everyone knows but you and Sweet Pea

You both still think it’s an unreciprocated pipe dream

Something to imagine scenarios about before you fall asleep

You’re more alike than you realize 

But soon you find your way to each other

You just can’t stay away anymore

And once you’re together, once you’re finally in his arms, neither of you ever want to let go

Sweet Pea is an amazing boyfriend to begin with

But especially when it comes to someone as soft and sweet and precious as you?????

He’s literally the best person you could ever hope for

He’s a classic rottweiler boyfriend 

AND he’s a gang boyfriend

Plus Sweet Pea’s just naturally a very protective person to the people he loves

So you can guarantee you’ll be safe with him

He won’t hesitate to stare down anyone he thinks looks at you too long

But he’s not going to start shit with you around unless he has to

If he does need to fight someone, he’s going to make sure you’re not there to see it

Even if he has to ask Betty or Veronica or Fangs to drag you into the other room and stay with you until it’s over

He doesn’t want you to see him like that

But he knows how to hold his own, and Fangs and Toni both reassure you there’s not a fight he hasn’t been able to walk away from

You’re always there to patch him up afterwards too

You touch him so gently

With more love and care and tenderness than he’s ever gotten from anyone before

It makes it kind of impossible to regret sticking up for you

Even if he did walk away with some nasty scratches and a black eye

You’re still not scared of him

You don’t judge him

Like at all

He always makes you feel so safe around him 

All he’s wanted for a while is someone to go all in with

Someone to protect, someone to take care of

Someone who needs him

And you do 

You spend more and more nights together before finally confessing that you can’t really sleep without him anymore

When I tell you his heart explodes when you say that?????

God as if you couldn’t get him wrapped even tighter around your finger

Surprise! Yes you can

He dips you a lot too

Mostly because he’s so tall and it’s so easy and it makes you so nervous when he pulls you close and leans over you like that

It makes you all dizzy and he talks so close to your face for a few moments before finally kissing you

GOD it makes your head spin

You can’t get enough

And he can’t get enough of the way you look up at him all soft and sweet

Like you’re not scared of him

Which you’re not

It’s still kind of new for him

But it’s something he really hopes he can get used to

He’s touchy too

He pulls you into his lap and rests his head on your shoulder a lot

Or wraps his arms around yours

Don’t even get me started on holding his big old hands with both of yours

It makes his stomach flip every single time

And SO MANY FOREHEAD KISSES

You kiss his neck and jaw a lot too

Mostly because it’s all you can reach half the time

And because you know it drives him completely crazy

If you ever worried about getting unwanted attention from guys, you don’t have to anymore

EVERYBODY knows you’re Sweet Pea’s 

And EVERYBODY knows not to fuck with him

Sweet Pea can be fucking terrifying when he wants to

Which makes things like him pinning you to the couch and tickling you until you tap out and you’re both blushing giggly wrecks even cuter  

You completely and totally have scary boyfriend privileges 

And you take such good care of him too

He really doesn’t think he’s ever been this happy and content and at peace

His friends can easily attest to the fact that they’ve never seen him this happy either

And your friends have never seen you this happy too 

Over all, you’re really just a fantastic match

You become the emotional support couple of riverdale high so fast

People get used to seeing him walk you to classes he doesn’t even have 

Seeing you ride around town on the back of his motorcycle together 

Because you belong together

You really do

Sweet Pea might not know what the future is going to look like

He might not know what’s going to happen tomorrow

But the only thing he does know about his future is that you’re going to be in it

And he’s going to be in yours

You’re starting to make him dream about a soft domestic life away from gangs and murder and conspiracies

He doesn’t know if that’s practical or attainable, but he hopes it is

Until then, he’s more than happy just getting to be around you

Getting to see you all the time and wake up next to each other on the weekends

He loves loving you, he loves keeping you safe and happy

Just like you love him and keep him happier than he’s ever been

Just being with you is more than enough

[fanfics4all]

Into The Ghoulie's Den

Request: Yes / No Hiii!! This is my first request not being anon🙃Can you do a Malachai x reader where she was just taking a walk at night through the Southside and didn’t realize she had entered Ghoulie territory and when she goes to turn around she walks straight into Malachi maybe a smutty ending 🙃 @yrfavel

Don’t be shy, request things! <3 Have a nice day/night

Malachai x Fem!Northside!Reader 

Word count: 1620

Warnings: SMUT!!!! I see Malachai as a dominant lover so he calls Y/N some names!

Y/N: Your Name 

PLEASE DO NOT STEAL MY WORK, I WORK HARD ON MY FICS AND IT’S NOT COOL TO STEAL SOMEONE ELSE’S WORK! 

If you want to be on the tag list for anything (My series fics, specific character fics, or just all of them) All you have to do is send me an ask and I will add you! 

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(Not my photo, credit to whoever made it!)

The southside wasn’t exactly what I expected. When we first moved to Riverdale, I had heard the warnings- the Southside was dangerous, crawling with gangs, and definitely not a place for a ‘Northsider’ like me to be wandering alone at night. But I wasn’t afraid. Not really. I had been around Jughead enough to know about the Serpents and Ghoulies, and I figured as long as I kept my head down and minded my own business, I’d be fine. 

That was my first mistake. 

I hadn’t realized I had wandered so far, too lost in my own thoughts as I walked down the dimly lit streets. It wasn’t until I caught sight of a few neon lights flickering from a rundown bar and the unmistakable sound of cars revving in the distance that I froze. My stomach twisted. 

Ghoulie territory. 

I turned around immediately, my heart pounding. Stupid, stupid, stupid! I should’ve paid more attention to where I was going. If Jughead knew I was here, he’d probably lecture me for an hour straight. But I wasn’t about to stick around and find out what happened to Northsiders who strayed too far from home. Just as I pivoted on my heel to leave, I collided with something- no someone- solid. 

I stumbled back, looking up, and my breath hitched. 

The guy standing in front of me was tall, built, and exuded pure intimidation. Dark eyes raked over me with interest, his sharp jawline accentuated by the smirk tugging at his lips. His hands were tucked into his jacket pockets, but there was no mistaking the power he carried just by standing there. 

Malachai. 

I didn't need an introduction to know who he was. I had heard Jughead talk about him- the ruthless Ghoulie leader, dangerous and unpredictable. The kind of guy you didn’t want to cross. And yet, the way he was looking at me sent a different kind of chill through my body. One I wasn’t expecting. 

“Well, well,” Malachai drawled, his voice smooth but edged with amusement. 

“What do we have here?” 

I swallowed hard, forcing myself to stay calm. “I was just leaving.” 

He chuckled, taking a step closer. “Leaving? But you just got here.” His dark eyes flicked over me again, slower this time, as if he was sizing me up. 

“You’re not a Serpent… And you’re definitely not a Ghoulie. So, what’s a Northside girl like you doing walking around my streets all alone?” 

I shifted on my feet, trying to ignore the way my pulse quickened under his gaze. 

“I didn’t realize where I was.” 

“That much is obvious.” His smirk widened, but there was something else in his expression now- interest? 

“You got a name, Princess?” 

I hesitated for a fraction of a second before answering. “Y/N.” 

“Y/N.” He repeated as if testing how it sounded. Then, he leaned in slightly, and I help my breath. 

“You’re either real brave or real stupid for walking around here by yourself. Which one is it?” 

I lifted my chin, meeting his gaze despite the way my heart hammered against my ribs. 

“Neither, I just made a mistake.” 

Malachai chuckled, clearly amused. “Cute. But mistakes like that? They can get you in trouble around here.” I didn’t doubt that. 

Before I could say anything else, I noticed movement behind him. A few Ghoulies had taken an interest in our conversation; their eyes locked onto me like I was fresh meat. My stomach twisted again. Malachai must have noticed too, because his smirk faded slightly as he turned his head toward them. 

“Back off.” His voice was calm, but there was a threat hidden beneath the surface, one that made the others hesitate before slowly drifting back into the shadows. 

I exhaled, realizing just how much worse this could’ve been if I had run into the wrong person. But Malachai… I wasn’t sure what to make of him yet. When he turned back to me, his smirk returned, but there was something else in his gaze this time. Curiosity. Amusement. And maybe something a little more dangerous. 

“You’re lucky I found you first, Princess.”

Somehow, I wasn’t sure if lucky was the right word. 

My heart raced as Malachai led me to his car. What the hell was I doing? One minute, I was lost and alone on the Southside; the next, I was being whisked away by the leader of the Ghoulies himself. I climbed into his car after him, and then we were off, flying down the dark streets of the Southside. We drove for what felt like hours, but was probably only minutes. I had no idea where we were going, but I trusted Malachai to keep me safe for some reason. There was just something about him, something dangerous and alluring all at once. I couldn’t help but be drawn to it. 

Eventually, we pulled up to an old warehouse on the outskirts of the Southside. Malachai parked the car and hopped out, coming to my side to help me out. I stumbled slightly, but Malachai caught me. 

“Where are we?” I asked, looking around at the dilapidated building. 

“My place.” Malachai replied, grabbing my hand and pulling me inside. 

“It’s safer here.” 

I followed him into the warehouse, my eyes adjusting to the dim light. The interior was sparsely furnished, with a few couches and a kitchenette in the corner. But what caught my attention was the large bed in the center of the room, covered in soft blankets and pillows. Malachai must have noticed my staring because he chuckled low in his throat. 

“I like to be comfortable.” He said, shrugging off his vest and tossing it aside. I watched as he moved towards the bed, his movements graceful and predatory all at once. He turned to face me, his dark eyes roving over my body with a hunger that made my knees weak. 

“Come here, Y/N.” He said, his voice low and commanding. 

“Let me show you what happens when you come into Ghoulie territory.” 

I hesitated for a moment, my heart pounding in my chest. I knew I shouldn’t trust him, shouldn’t let myself be drawn in by his dangerous charisma, but there was something about Malachai, something that made me want to take a chance. So I crossed the room, letting him pull me into his arms. His hands roamed over my body, igniting sparks of pleasure wherever he touched. I could feel his hardness pressing against me, his desire evident in every movement. 

“Malachai…” I breathed, my head falling back as he nipped at my neck. 

“Shhh…” He murmured, his hands sliding under my shirt. His hands eagerly explored my body as he slowly stripped me, savoring every inch of my exposed skin. I trembled beneath his touch, my breath coming in short gasps. 

“That’s it, baby. Let me take care of you.” He growls, his voice thick with desire. 

“You’re all mine now.” 

He laid me down on the bed, his eyes darkening at the sight of me splayed out on the bed. He admired me, the way my curves begged to be touched. He lowered himself on top of me, his weight pressing me into the mattress. 

“Malachai…” I whispered, my fingers digging into my shoulders. 

“Please…” 

“Shhh… be a good girl and let me have my way with you.” He commanded, capturing my lips in a searing kiss. 

“I’m going to make you scream my name until you forget everything but the feeling of my cock buried deep inside you.” 

He tore away my panties, throwing them aside. His fingers found my slick folds, stroking through my wetness. I arched into his touch, moaning softly. 

“So wet for me already.” He chuckled. 

“I haven’t even started yet.” He positioned himself at my entrance, the head of his cock teasing my opening. 

“Beg for it, Princess. Beg me to fuck you like the dirty little Northside slut you are.” 

“Please, Malachai!” I cried out, my nails raking down his back. 

“I need you inside me. Fuck me hard!” 

“Such a good girl.” He praised, slamming his hips forward and burying himself balls-deep in my tight pussy. 

“Oh God, yes!” I screamed, my walls clamping down around him. 

“So big… so good…” 

He set a brutal pace, pounding into me with savage intensity. The bed frame slams against the wall with each thrust, and the sounds of skin slapping against skin fill the air. I was moaning and writhing beneath him, lost in the overwhelming pleasure. 

“That’s it, take my cock like a good little fuck toy.” He growled, angling his hips to hit that sweet spot inside me. 

“Scream for me, baby. Let the whole Southside know who’s fucking you senseless.” 

“Malachai! Yes, yes, yes!” I cried out, my body shaking with the force of my orgasm. 

“I’m cumming Don’t stop!” 

“I won’t stop until I’m filling this sweet little pussy.” He snarls, his thrusts growing erratic as he chases his own release. 

“Fuck, I’m gonna pump you so full of my cum. You want that, don’t you, slut? Want me to mark you as mine?” 

“Please…” I beg, my eyes rolling back in ecstasy. 

“Give it to me, Malachai!” With a groan, he buried himself to the hilt and exploded inside me, his cock twitching as he painted my insides with his hot seed. 

“Fuck yes, take it all!” 

We collapsed together, both of us gasping for breath. He pressed a tender kiss to my forehead as I nestled into his chest. 

“That was amazing…” I murmured, my voice drowsy with exhaustion. 

“Just wait until I fuck you again.” He chuckled, his cock already hardening again. 

“We’re just getting started, Princess.” 

Tag list: @les-bio-lie @tashy-bear @ashwarren32 @hollie-blogs-blog1 @lover-of-books-and-tea @nerdygaloresposts @teenwolfbitches28 @kmc1989 @drw0301bieber @lady-of-lies @ravenmoore14 @ravenempress101 @cillianchamp @rowanthomasknapp @rachelxwayne @ready-4-fanfiction @madammarvellous-blog1 @emo-godess-loves-you @hiya-imthatgirl @mindsetjupiter @averysinclaire @mittelerde1999 @sweetest-peas @rousewriter @camiconfessions-blog @thecaptainsgingersnap @cenyddtheunicorn @jacksxsouthsideserpents @lover2448 @mamacobie13 @scarrasco1325 @madebyleftovermuses @fandom-princess-forevermore @liz-owl @adamsbubblegumbitch

[bireggiemantle]

Of all the characters who did not get explicitly queer arcs in canon, which is the most disappointing to you personally? How would you write one for them?

Jughead is the obvious answer here but honestly it's Archie. Not to tin foil hat things but I believe that he was supposed to have a coming out arc in s7 and was most likely going to enter into a relationship with Reggie. There was too much buildup for that not to be the case. Archie's parallels to Kevin and Clay. Archie's tumultuous relationship with closet case Uncle Frank. Archie's grapple with conventional masculinity (basketball) vs his truth (writing). There is a scene dedicated to introducing Archie to the concept of heteronormativity and queer relationships between writers! And the entire ArchieReggie Beronica double date episode where cars were used as a thinly veiled metaphor for sexuality (Archie and Reggie also did the romantic trope of accidentally holding hands here). They watched gay porn together and lost their virginities to each other (with the buffer of a woman present of course) and exchanged "I love you"s beneath the rising sun. The episodes that followed about Archie's girl crazy arc felt like a drastic tonal shift with no connection to previous episodes, and the polycule ending felt rushed/tacked on. We already know that s7 didn't go in the direction they originally wanted it to (with it being only set in 50s), and I wouldn't be surprised if Archie's sexuality crisis had to be changed or dialed back as well. I think it would've been an extremely meaningful and satisfying ending of the show to see Archie finally shed the hypermasculine American ideal of a man persona he'd be carrying with him since the first comic was published and embrace his truth, his complexity, and his sexuality. And I think that the team behind Riverdale would agree! But alas. Archie went left. Archie went right. And Archie truly never made up his all-American mind.

[palegreenchlorine]

can i be riverpilled on main for a sec. if jughead has been controlling the narrative all along - which tbf we were told in the first five minutes of the show - then it makes sense that both betty and veronica are not representative of themselves, actually, but rather of himself. if we are to believe the story of riverdale, then two things are true: 1. that jughead has been in love with archie this whole time and 2. that jughead himself never wanted to be part of the narrative. think about it - each season, apart from 1 and 3, involve some kind of death/death threat for jughead (serpent battle, stonewall preps, rat…king? dead and sent to heaven for sabrina to retrieve him, literally booted out of the narrative). however, someone is still required for him to project his feelings onto. if you believe that riverdale is a story starting with the real events of jason’s murder, jughead takes on the role of investigator/narrator. this means he needs someone else to be the love interest: enter betty. someone he would’ve known since forever, and so all of sudden, as jugheads story starts, betty “réalisés” she wants to tell archie she likes him -> jughead’s own crush coming to light / vs. veronica coming to town and immediately catching archie’s eye (AND she resembles him, dark hair, dark clothing, pretentiousness galore) -> jughead wanting archie to want HIM. all of this explains why betty and archie never really click in s5, why betty repeatedly takes the chance to kiss archie despite her friendship with veronica being at stake (what jughead would do, if he could) why veronica cannot handle loneliness, why a lot of the time neither betty or veronica’s actions match up to the personalities that they actually have -> betty is repeatedly made out to be a “hero” struggling against her internal demons/serial killer genes despite everything that would condemn her as a bad person/friend whereas veronica tries to be better and still falls short at every turn -> representation of repressed homophobia re: how not confessing makes him feel better about himself, like he’s doing archie a favor vs. even thinking that he would LIKE to date archie makes him “feel evil”. in the end, betty and veronica don’t even actually care about archie, romantically; the one person betty misses more than anyone in the last episode is veronica (her long lost love) and veronica throughout the series spends more time trying to figure out what would actually make her happy even though she has archie and that should supposedly be the answer; this is their actual characters breaking through the shell of projection given to them by narrator!jughead. of course, this would’ve been solidified if cole sprouse wasn’t a coward and kissed kj apa on screen in the finale but you know what they say about the absence of a thing .

[darwinquark]

Okay the Halloween chapter had me foaming at the mouth. Another masterpiece. You never miss! I love when third parties like Anne get introduced in the mix just to create tension between J and V. Like girl was flirting so bad but all Jughead seemed to notice or care about was Veronica eek I love it. Please gimme more party scenes I beg. I actually live for Veronica quite literally bringing him to his knees like atta girl you go ahead and get what you want 😭

Also what jeronica/colemila fics from @thefudge do you recommend?? I'm invested now

ah, so glad you liked it! the party atmosphere was def a departure so v happy it worked for you. and yeah lol Jughead's two main modes are being a little bitch or being Veronica's bitch and that's just where we've landed these days.

as for jeronica/colemila fics by @thefudge, WHERE TO BEGIN!

first of all, I am utterly obsessed with her cursed colemila series in all of its unflinching oozy toxic glory. Cole is human sleaze in this and Cami makes horrible decisions and the two of them just keep metastasizing in each other and it's honestly romantic in how unromantic it is

kiss and (don't) tell - the classic, the OG, the primordial fix-it/what if fic when Betty and Archie kissed and everyone was obsessed with the idea of Jughead and Veronica leveling the playing field with a kiss of their own (and then...)

bakunin and broccoli - the fact of the matter is I would die for Seymour Lodge-Jones and he'd definitely let me. this my actual canon of them as elitist parents who are sickeningly in love and dote on their sociopath son when they're not too busy annoying him with how horny they are

teen idle - a darker take on high school writer Jughead with big stalker vibes but I live for the tension of him swearing he studies her because he hates her but also obsessing over her in this very carnal way

barrels - another post-Barchie fix-it/what if fic where Jughead and Veronica go on an impulsive road trip after the cheating reveal and it's really sweet and poignant and more than the writers would ever give them in canon

honestly, I could keep going and end up recommending all of them because flo is genuinely such an inventive, fearless, and exquisite writer and I feel like I learn something about writing every time I read anything of hers, but I'll lock those down as my faves. she's prolific beyond belief though and has so many other fics, so if what you're after is her more cursed stuff, I'd say look beyond the riverdale scope to her more recent works (in particular her Paul/Irulan fic which deservedly blew up the Dune fandom and her most recent Taylor Swift RPF which made me go 'jesus CHRIST' out loud at least five times. she's also got Amelia/Andrew RPF which I've yet to read but is on my list because I'm sure it's wretched and spits in the face of all that calculated chemistry).

[diltonsstrangescience]

There are some patterns I have noticed in the OG comics. Really only twice per observation, but it’s enough to make you go hmm…

— Ethel often comes up with these… fake reasons for being upset, rather than admitting the real one. (Sort of “sour grapes” logic.) She rants about duck decoys being cruel to animals rather than admit that she’s just really bad at carving (if she was successful at making them, I’m sure she’d have no complaints). She gives this whole speech about how girls need to be more independent, but then turns on her heel and throws herself at the guys once the girls agree with her and leave. She invents opinions she doesn’t actually hold to make herself seem better, rather than admit to her true feelings. She’s more deceptive than you’d assume she’d be.

— Jughead is like… really self-sabotaging. He tries very hard to make himself seem like a bad person, and I don’t understand why. He lends Reggie money, but refuses to let Reggie know it’s from him, wanting to seem stingy and unhelpful. He very deliberately makes himself seem heartless during this one charity fundraiser thing, and ends up motivating his friends to help more out of pure spite against him, but he never reveals his actual motivations himself. It’s one thing to do good without expecting praise, but Jug actively lies to present himself as selfish and cruel, and I think there’s something deeper there, because who does that?

— Dilton helps Reggie with his mean schemes. He sets up exploding traps in a recorded message and a phone booth, as a prank for Reggie to play on Arch and Jug. During the school’s Ancient-Rome-themed day, he helps Reggie cheat at the quiz game by telling him the right answers through an earpiece (or something I forget). It’s a possibility that Dilton’s simply being bullied into doing these things for Reggie, whether he wants to or not. But what if he does want to? Is Dilton closer friends with Reggie than he is with Archie? If it came to picking sides, who would he be loyal to?

Also, I keep noticing Betty being a skilled mechanic. Not as a skill that appears once for the sake of a particular comic then never again (like Jug carving duck decoys—so random!) (not that I have a problem with random things like that), but repeatedly. Betty’s the best of the bunch at repairing cars. Is this one of her main skills? One of her defining traits?

Dilton’s not the only mechanically minded teen in town. She’s the mech tech to his comp tech.

ALSO! Jughead keeps acquiring farm animals! For some reason! There was a whole long comic about this pet pig he got super emotionally attached to! He had a goat once, briefly, and Archie had to try to keep it away from Mr. Lodge’s prize roses. Back in elementary school (Little Archie comics), he showed up to a “pet party” with a chicken in a tuxedo! During some kind of arts week at school, he brought a whole entire COW into the principal’s office! (Actually that one might have been Archie’s doing, I forget, but at the very least, Jug supervised the cow.) Also, he had a crow or raven at one point, which is more of an honorable mention, because it’s not strictly a farm animal. Where does he keep getting all these things?? He doesn’t live on a farm! As far as I’m aware, he doesn’t have any family members who own a farm (though in 80-ish years of comics, characters acquire a million different relatives for one-off stories, so probably everything’s been canon at some point). I’m sure each appearance of an animal in a comic comes with its own explanation, but it’s still an odd pattern. And this is just the times I know about!

You need an animal for something? Any random animal? Jughead’s your guy. For SOME reason. Why is he the animal guy??

[the-epic-hiram-lows]

thinking about the fact we have no proof joaquin was queer, because we have never seen him act independently

before i start, let me just say that i don't think the show intended us to question this... which, by default, means they almost certainly wrote joaquin as queer. however, even if he were canonically, unambiguously queer, it would still make all the things i mention below utterly tragic.

first, let's examine the kiss between joaquin and archie. i do not find this to be explicitly queer. the intention (as told to us through jughead's narrative, which serves as both literal within his own scene and metaphorical through his voiceover) was a religious allegory. it was not about attraction, but about a contract. yes, a kiss is a kiss, which is an intimate act, but there are many forms of kisses.

whether you choose to interpret this as a romantic/sexual expression is irrelevant here, because he was not acting independently when he kissed archie. he was under the warden's instructions.

second, we have the most obvious "but wait!" to my thesis statement, which is his canon relationship with kevin. this is the perfect smoking gun in our investigation, until you remember he was acting under FP's instructions. while a single reaction shot could have told us whether he had genuine feelings for kevin- or men in general- we did not get one. nor did we get another scene between him and FP establishing that their arrangement ended, or that any of joaquin's interactions with kevin were outside of the agreement.

so the picture we are left with is a teenage boy who is only ever seen expressing intimacy when someone else was pulling the strings. while it is interesting to delve into what this may or may not mean about his sexual orientation, it was a bit of a clickbait thesis to get you to this point in the post. i think the true take away for me is how tragic it is we never saw him act with agency.

there is a lot up to personal interpretation here, but we cannot deny that grown men informed every intimate act he did on screen. hell, they informed every non-intimate act of his as well.

so who was joaquin, really? we never knew.

[lucyfrankenstein]

lucy gucy explain riverdale polycule ending to me

hiiii delilah my FAVORITE topic omgggg.

ok so ok. sooo unabridged. during season 6 our core four characters are EVIL and HATE eachother. just kidding but their relationships. not so good. betty and archie are dating (literally horrifying) and jugheads dating tabitha and veronicas dating reggie or somethign they mightve broken up whatever she killed her husband and then started dating reggie. THEN. to solve this. riverdale hard resets to 1950s for season 7 and makes them all high school juniors and none of them are dating those other people anymore except they kind of are. we get lots of experimenting. veronica and jughead kiss homophobically and theyre like. hm maybe not. but the narrative must go on. jugheads off doing jughead shit and veronica and betty are like hooooooly shit we are liberated women we dont need fuck ass jughead or archie. so they resort to lesbianism as a way of escaping the 1950s riverdale narrative. of dating archie. does this make sense. meanwhile reggie and archie are watching gay porn together and they have a threesome and also archie wants to be a beatnik. which could mean nothing. ok so jughead as mentioned before doing fuckass stuff. and then tabitha shes like you guys are stuck here forever. lol rip goodbye forever ending jughead and tabithas relationship and budding new 1950s tension. so then jughead and veronica are dating airquotes. whatever theyre really funny to me. SO THEN. final episode. betty is 80 years old and DYING. and as shes dying angel jughead. takes her back to her last day of senior year to relive her best memories and then. an d then shes like gay kevin whats happening i dont remember 😇 and gay kevins like youve been in a relationship with betty and archie and jughead for the past year :) so then later we cut to how this relationship works out. jughead and veronica hook up and betty and archie hook up and betty and veronica hook up and POINTEDLY. POINTEDLY. there is no jughead archie hook up scene. sometimes the absence of something says more about it than its presence. also reggie even though he is part of archie bisexualism is NOT in the polycule instead fuckass jughead is and betty goes up to reggie and is like iM SORRY. 😇 and hes like its ok. i get it well i dont jughead SUCKS. moving on so she finishes the day and then angel jughead takes her to the big pops in the sky and the four of them sit at a bench trapped as teenagers forever also after they graduated they never saw eachother again. hope this helps 😇😇

TLDR. riverdale is about the QUADRILATION. of desire. and they did it. and then exploded everyone 😇

[jhsharman]

recollections of the big tinky winky scare

A fight breaks out in the crowd at a hockey game regarding Betty versus Veronica. Evan Dorkin likely today mildly embarrassed by his art here, and he is shuffling from an sci-fi action premise to something else -- this series at the pushed to the side because other comics work actually paid. Though the nature of comic retailing never entirely sure how --

And we get to a follow up in a few panels of the hockey sequence which throws up a slur from the meathead in the crowd and so another "fighting words". The other matter that appears to animate -- even passingly -- the public regarding Archie Comics.

A little bit of the territory of Chasing Amy's joke, or the ease with which I can grab panels of Jughead accidentally winning a girl's figure skating contest while in a dress and declaring -- "Yep! There he is! They call him 'Queen!" -- and it is one of two panels I know of with a crowd proclaiming "All Hail Queen Jughead!" . The problem there -- well, here is Archie being crowned "Queen".

Though maybe they are feeling out character definitions a little. I do have the supposition that a culture shifted around Archie Comics and a full meaning of "committed bachelor" as euphemism and not looking just as a sound board for the GI writers to bounce "Women! Am I right?" jokes off of. Or -- late 1960s, the hipster jokes on Jughead were getting to them and they did make a succession of efforts at straight-washing him, as I have seen people so claim. And come back to me in five minutes and I will disagree with that sentence. Asexual, but presumed in two "parents talking the birds and the bees and why he is so odd" stories in the late 70s / early 80s (one a favorite of Bughead-ers because of a line where he states a platonic affection toward Betty) a late bloomer just like his dad was.

Back in 1999 there was a big brouhaha that erupted when Televangelist Jerry Falwell cited Tinky WInky as gay. He was evidently not wholly off base, just mostly so-- it is the case that the first actor in a Tinky Winky costume was let go for portraying the character in too prancey and fey a manner as the... but we are effectively dealing with ambiguously gendered Muppet infants here. Interesting case for Falwell, the bizarre contractual knot that tied The 700 Club to Rupert Murdoch's Fox Family Channel which trailed from contractual obligations off of Murdoch media and television station purchases in the mid-1980s, so the show was aired shortly after Pee Wee's Playhouse reruns -- all things considered, a more forthright example for Falwell's concern -- a children's show from a decade prior with a large adult audience carried over from its being based on a character persona for adults as a spoof of old children's television and which was laced all throughout with gay innuendo. Paul Ruben's scandal gets obliquely noted hereabouts. All you have with Teletubbies is really bright colors and playful prances. And a handbag.

I recall a comic page -- probably from one of the alt weekly cartoonists -- which ends with a mass of characters whose sexuality was oft joked about hounding about Falwell, a "Welcome to the Club". Bert and Ernie, Peppermint Patty and Marcy, Velma, and for my purpose here -- Jughead. If I knew the artist I would likely be able to find it in a collection at the public library. I was thinking it was Ruben Bolling who did this page, but I find his statement on the hullabaloo was this:

[peacerisendove]

Big Ethel Energy and S2 (Series Finale) Final Overall Thoughts On the Series (Thank God.)

It's obvious from the last three episode of Big Ethel Energy that this was a rush-job ending for a failing webcomic. However, despite being a potentially forced rush-job to conclude the series that doesn't excuse the multitude of sins the webcomic has committed in both writing and art.

First and foremost:

Big Ethel Energy is definitively the worst piece of fiction I have ever read in my life.

(I read it so you don't have to.)

My reasons as to why:

1.

Ethel in no way is a compelling, strong, or even a likeable main character that you are capable of rooting for. Now you might be thinking that main characters don't have to be likeable, and you are absolutely correct on thinking that. Unlikable and flawed characters are interesting because of their flaws, they feel real, and they make for complex and fully recognized characters. However, those flaws have to be consciously recognized and utilized by the author to make them effective and interesting.

The author of BEE does not do this and instead Ethel is consistently portrayed in the right or that her opinions are right, and that other are wrong or have wronged her, and that she is always the victim. Consistently her tone is woe-is-me.

The way she is portrayed and presented, along with the narrative, shows there is no self conscious attempt by the author to make her a purposefully flawed character.

She is consistently narcissistic and believes she is better than her high school peers and Riverdale as a whole (the small town she came from, in contrast to New York where she currently lives, which comes up multiple time and vaguely reeks of classism), she has a consistent victim-complex, constantly is portrayed in the right when the reader can see she is wrong, never takes responsibility, and more.

2.

The writing is sophomoric and shallow as it uses LGBT+ and serious topics to prop up its cis, white, privilege main character, and creates the illusion that she has personality and character (it's a weak attempt of making her seem good by helping the helpless lgbt+ people in this story. They have nothing to do with Ethel's story or her own character like being socially conscious it's just padding). (ex: Her helping Noelle, the one trans character in the story).

The writing and narration is also leading in a way that it does not allow for dissension in opinions. It tries to tell you what to think of Ethel and her character (that she's perfect and wonderful), and it also tries to reinforce her, her actions, and opinions as being in the right constantly. She comes off as a Mary-Sue character who can do no wrong. Additionally, the secondary character also serve the purpose of padding Ethel's character and propping her up on a pedestal at times by complimenting her character throughout the story or that she is the only one who could possible do the things that she does in the webcomic.

The fawning over her character by secondary characters is obnoxious and shows how weak the writing is overall. When your main character’s character can’t stand up on their own you know that they're even flimsier than cardboard.

3.

The art does not do the issues regarding body-image justice at all. Specifically the writing surrounding how Ethel is described as tall, being a plus-sized or a 'fat' woman, and overall implied to be an unattractive woman. Ethel despite being describes as essentially the ugly duckling who was made fun of for her weight and size in high school is inconsistently portrayed.

The writing is aphobic as it vilifies Jughead, an implied asexual/aromantic/aroace character by making him the primary source of conflict for Ethel and her character because he identifies as ace/aro/aroace and didn't know it when he had consensual sex with Ethel when they were eighteen and he never contacted her again after that. It literal vilifies his existence and makes his existence a conflict which is so SHITTY and offensive to aroace people. The comic also never explicitly labels his sexuality/romantic identity despite how it VERY STRONGLY implies he's ace/aro/aroace, which I argue is aphobic because there are other LGBT+ characters who are explicitly identify as LGBT+. There's also an attempt to retcon his Season 1 strongly implied ace/aro/acearo identity.

4. The ending

Lastly, the ending. The ending is flippant and soulless and even more immature and over-dramatic from how it displays Ethel's relationship with Moose to how it ended over it being long distance to her rushed reunion and suddenly entering into a relationship with Seth (which will also be long distance. Like how is that going to work if you couldn't get it to work in the past???). (Over-dramatic as in, WOW, Ethel and Seth spend a whole entire night together and watch the sun rise together.)

It continues to put Ethel upon a pedestal. She's so great at her job, she's so successful at dating, she's traveling all over the world~ WOWEE ZOWIE~ SHE'S SO GREAT AND SUCCESSFUL AND SHE SOMEHOW MEETS THE GUY SHE ACTUALLY LIKED WHLE SHE WAS DATING HER BOYFRIEND FOUR YEARS PRIOR???

I could vomit.

Honestly, this all feels like just the tip of the iceberg of everything wrong wrong with this webcomic, but I've given you the broad strokes.

It's a failure as a work of fiction and offensive to boot.

[jupitermelichios]

so you've probably seen the news that riverdale ended with the main 4 in an actual, canonical, poly relationship

and that's amazing for a bunch of reasons, including the fact that the number of canon poly relationships on tv are miniscule and also it brings the number of canonically straight main cast members down to 1. Ethel is legitimately the show's token straight representation. love that for her

but to get the full impact of that news, you really also need to know that in order for the polycule to form:

Jughead's transdimensional angel girlfriend has to destroy multiple other timelines to create a new stable timeline for the polycule to live in. timelines destroyed include the one where jughead is immortal and trapped forever in a bunker underneath riverdale, and one where tony and fangs's magical timetravelling gay baby is fighting an evil wizard for control of a train full of evil ghosts

Jughead's magical transdimensional angel girlfriend then returns to the newly created main timeline, and restores the main cast's memories of all the other timelines, which she does by forcing them to watch the show riverdale. That is not a joke or a metaphor she even goes to the trouble to bring a colour tv back to the 1950s so they can watch in colour, except for Clay and Julian, because they did not exist in any of the previous timelines and they're sad about it and refuse to watch a show they're not in.

(Well, Julian technically did exist in the original timeline, but only as a ghost possessing a haunted doll, which doesn't really count)

(Also for some reason as well as the main cast, she makes dilton doily watch it, despite his only contributions to the show being a) dying as a human sacrifice in the og timeline, b) trying to blow up the planet and then dying because of it in the rivervale timeline, and c) gay kevin telling people he has the biggest dick in the 1950s tlmeline, and honestly, I feel like it would be kinder to just not show him any of that)

(ethel does not get to watch riverdale, because she did the only sensible thing any riverdale character has ever done and fucked off to a normal town to have an actual life, because as well as being the token straight character, she's also the token sane one)

After watching Riverdale, all of the main cast except Jughead and Betty decide it sucks and they hate it, and ask tabby to rewipe their memories and only give them the cute bits and not all the serial killers and shit, because the writers have run out of time for subtle metaphors and they weren't sure the audience had fully grasped that the entirely last season of the show is a weird metacommentary on the criticisms people have of the show riverdale so they're just straight up going to have archie andrews look straight to camera and say that the show should have been more like the comics

also I have no idea how only showing them the happy bits works, because that removes 90% of the entire plot so I assume they just have a bunch of completely out of context sex scenes and meals at the diner and nothing else. possibly also some musical numbers, idk if I'd count those as happy memories personally

Betty and Jug chose to keep their memories of the Gargoyle King and Betty's 2 long-lost secret gay serial killer brothers because they're edgy (and also because the writers are annoyed at all the people who say the show should be more like the comics, so they have the smartest characters say they liked the actually and everyone else is being a wimp about all the serial killers, because again, we have run out of time for subtlety)

Having had his memories restored, Jug's like "oh hi tabitha, my secret transdimensional angel girlfriend, I haven't seen you for months, I've really missed you. I'm so glad you're you're back. i love you so much"

And she responds by telling him that she'd chosen to write herself out of the timeline when she fixed in, and she has to return to the great big diner in the sky (not a joke, heaven is a diner in the riverdale universe and, it is heavily implied, also in our universe, so that's something to look forward to), so she freezes time halfway through kissing him and just nopes out of time and space. which is also how I would handle all break ups if I had angel powers tbh

since jug is now single, and all 4 of them just got multiple timeline's worth of fucking one another mainlined straight into their brains, the main 4 decide to all start dating

(they are probably inspired to do this in part by betty's sister, who in the new timeline is a burlesque performer who's stage name is Polly Amorous)

As far as I can tell from the last episode, they tell gay kevin about this and literally no one else, for reasons known only to themselves

also genuinely can't tell if this was the writers wanting a poly relationship for them, or if they just couldn't be bothered with the internet slap fights that would have followed them picking individual monogomous ships to be endgame

they also, hilariously, refuse to say that archie and jug are dating, I assume due to network restrictions, despite archie being canonically bi at this point, so betty's just like 'well sometimes I go to veronica's and we fuck, and the boys do... something we're not going to talk about'

the final episode of the show is a flash forward where as a now old betty is dying, jughead's ghost shows her memories of their teens, in which it's reveal that she has just straight up forgotten about being in a poly relationship

literally she looks at her teen self and is like "wow, I seem weirdly close to veroica jughead and archie" and Jug's ghost has to be like "because we were dating. how do you not remember that we were dating? what the hell? did I mean nothing to you?!"

also old betty specifically seeks out reggie and is like "hey you know how me and you dated, and you and veronica were together for years in multiple timelines, and you archie keep declaring your undying love for one another and nearly fucking, well we're all dating and we specifically decided not to invite you, sucks to be you" and walks away and I have no idea why she did it. justice for reggie

anyway RIP to the greatest television show ever made, it was so gay and so deranged and so meta, and there really will never be anything quite like it again

[forgottenspring]

Mild rant on Alastor bc I'm tired.

*takes deep breath*

I was going to stay out of this so rip to my inbox.

Does anybody remember the whole ace doxing list on here? The whole discussion of not shipping gay characters with the opposite gender? The rep for pan/bi representation and the steps to do it right? Does anybody remember when ppl on here discussed how aros and aces aren't a part of the queer community bc they're not 'gay enough' in a way? Bc I do. That was about a decade ago. And I remember when Alastor was first introduced in the pilot and ppl not accepting he was aroace back then.

It doesn't matter if Alastor is entirely aroace and if he's capable of dating or not.

What matters is we still have so little ace representation and acceptance, especially aroace rep, that a few years ago when a real person Jaiden Animations came out as aroace, ppl tried to destroy her, bc even with a perfect valid explanation of her just saying aroaces are their own thing and she just doesn't want to date, ppl treated it like she was lying or was trying to sneak into the queer community and was straight or all the other horrible things yall might remember "fans" did to her.

Alastor being aroace isn't about being the rep of "Aroaces can feel attraction!!!" bc be real honest.

How many aroace popular characters can ppl list that a regular person on the street is going to know? Bc I've heard all their arguments to invalidate their representation.

Jughead? Oh you mean Cole Sprouse who made out and got it on with Lili Reinhart playing Betty bc he found her sexy? Oh but in the old comics he's a gay character whose in denial. Yelena Boleva? Who? Oh that woman? She's hot she's just traumatized and needs to find the right person. Charlie Weasley? Oh he was only in the books? He was confirmed as aroace through a passive comment most ppl didn't know about from the author that never used the term? Luffy? You mean one of the most shipped characters in One Piece? No he's just an idiot/childish so he doesn't understand girls are pretty. Caduceus Clay? Sorry I didn't watch Critical Role whose that? Are you sure he's aroace? He feels gay to me.

I can list more ppl, but I'm sure most ppl couldn't.

I remember the whole discussion of the pan/bi representation argument of "Yes! We know pan/bi ppl can date the opposite gender. But straight ppl don't know about pan/bi nearly at all or don't accept it," so showing it as gay, who know the term more, until it's shown clearly the character is queer and not "confused straights" they then can have opposite gender attraction. Bc sooooo many pan/bi characters end up "straight" at the end of their show/book. Bc I remember when ppl refused to accept that Deadpool is pan bc of his wife and started freaking out when he dated a nonbinary person in the comics or helped that one genderqueer person he knew.

Representation is about showing to ppl what they're not understanding about the identity in the plainest sense of the words of the identity, then when there's enough rep to show they're not all the same, then you can have the ones that break the rules.

Alastor whether or not he wants to date doesn't matter. What matters is this whole situation blew out of proportion bc ppl refused to accept that some ppl don't feel comfy shipping him. Bc they see themselves in him and don't want that. BUT! Also ppl under the aro and ace umbrella also have no rep and wanted to see him breaking the stereotype they probs have yelled at them of "You can't have a partner you're aroace I forbid it" and wanted to see thru their own experiences how that would be done.

Here's the problem.... As someone who has read a lot of aroace headcanon fanfics as an aroace....... A lot of ppl who are allo don't realize aroace "crushes" are missing emotions... That's why they're aroace. And they'll write them like they're the same just "muted" or "needs to warm up" kinda thing. Or make the character's love "childish" to explain the lack of romance/sex. Which is messed up. And that's the problem here.

Alastor didn't need to be this blown out of proportion of a situation. The problem is ppl found him sexy and the classic "But aroace hot, they can't be aroace bc why hot?" discussion got brought back up without the gentle post format discussions and instead it was a lot of shippers on tiktok with tiny word counts arguing a complex issue.

Ppl should be allowed to ship whatever (except problematic I know yall too well), especially if they see themselves in the characters and especially if they have the same identity and want to explore that!!

The truth of the matter is this is such a huge issue that just keeps happening bc ppl are too used to fandom queer spheres where ppl already know aroace means "off the table" and so they want to play with qprs or grayromantics/sexuals not knowing what that entails bc there's sooooo lil aroace rep that actually explores being aroace and a lot of ppl don't know the basics, and even how very different aroace "off the table" is when you aren't the classic "uwu I'm just innocent and have no friends or importance to the plot so just ignore me and have me be adopted by one of the main couples as a 'kid' figure."

Not to mention that a lot of ppl still think ace means aroace. That aces can't date bc there's ppl who don't know that romantic and sexual attraction are different!

I'm just.... So tired. So very tired of having ppl shout at me what it means to be aroace and being unable to look up the lil aroace rep we have bc of this issue I've seen a million times is all.

[palegreenchlorine]

Does jughead match Betty's freak

this ask ended up twice in my inbox and i think that’s so funny. ask so real it came as a two-for-one deal !

honestly? no. jughead and betty are like, the epitome of an arranged marriage with the genders inversed. like specifically, jughead is the wife with unfortunate and irreversible neediness syndrome and betty is the strapping young man who has been tied down against his will. like, all betty wants to do is get out there and explore - first in a journalism sense, then in an investigator sense, then in a sexuality + life’s pleasures sense. betty really really likes being in charge of stuff, in taking command and moving stuff forward and getting shit done. she’s also a little more substantially fucked up than jughead in the sense that jughead is like. abandonment/inferiority complex 1000 ie. his mom left him, archie left him, his dad left him, his gf cheats on him or whatever. jughead is mostly a bundle of soft-type emotional-relationship issues which are fucked up in their own right, but he also expresses those issues a lot more openly (the whole Being A Writer thing, narratively the dying over and over thing, his whole misanthropy thing being just an accepted part of who he is).

betty on the other hand has: a serial killer father, serial killer grandparents, a mom who kills assailants and hides the bodies under floorboards, a serial-killer FBI-agent half-brother, a serial-killer cam hooker half-brother-in-law, a cult-indoctrinated accidentally-incestuous sister who had twins with the town dead boy who was killed by his father (said father also being one of betty’s own blood family), a boyfriend that dies every season and is an attempted gang leader, a cousin who is an insane witch, a gang-leader step-dad-situation who is also the father of her boyfriend, not to mention her serial killer genes! when i say she’s substantially more fucked up than jughead i mean that jughead weeps/whines/acts pathetic about his circumstances a lot more, which are sad in general bc that’s his role, but despite betty’s increasing “darkness” over the seasons (something that she says verbatim . lol) she still keeps it together on a surface level. still dresses in pastels still wears little pink sweaters and skinny jeans and does her cute hairdos and sheer pink makeup well into her adulthood, which makes her all the more fucked bc cognitive dissonance goes crazy!! the difference between how she’s perceived/what she’s supposed to be and all the things that happened to her/the way she’s supposed to react to it are two different ends of the personality spectrum.

of course, the problem this creates is that jughead (ultimate sad wet cat) sees her suburban good girl aura and takes it for granted that she will stay the same sweet girl and attaches himself to her - unfortunately, betty’s core directive is to keep moving, so naturally she starts looking in different directions. jughead needs her too much and she doesn’t really need him at all. consider that also jughead walks around like a festering open wound and betty graduated from the cooper school for emotionally repressed women…like. there was no way for betty to be weird (to be a weirdo. to not fit in and not want to fit in. she doesn’t even have a stupid hat on) like jughead is weird bc jughead is a freak because of his problems - ie he has no one, originally, bar archie, because he’s so “misunderstood” and “misanthropic”. the inverse of that - betty has, superficially, zero problems - which is what draws veronica and jughead to her, and her freak is just that much more intense because she never deals with it except in really unhealthy ways (a pile of coping mechanisms for which she is always looking to add to.)

tl:dr betty’s freak is a lot more intense and unsolvable than jughead’s and so while jughead can be fixed by a one-hit wonder vent novel and a new project-focused girlboss gf, betty can never be fixed - ergo they really need to see other people (NOT ARCHIE.)

[kesleyjo]

I'm having some finale wine and I think I've got it. My final resolute head canon of Riverdale.

Keep in mind I have not watched the end of season 5 through the end and have absolutely no intention to, but I've seen and heard enough about *gestures vaguely* all of that to still stand by this.

Disclaimer: I do not believe this is what the writers intended whatsoever. This is all my imagination. I do however believe in this canon whole heartedly and its as true to me as whatever RAS's vision is to him. You choose who to trust.

Okay so first and foremost the entire series is written by Jughead. It's all his writings that are probably all sitting in a google docs draft folder.

I justify this due to the following:

He is the narrator

The entire series is obsessed with Betty Cooper for good or ill (I'll get to it)

Its all kind of sort of been alluded to that its all Jughead's writings anyway. At least in S1, again. I'll get to the why of that in a second.

He started writing season 1 in his junior year (so a year after the events of the S1). He read In Cold Blood (on his own, not for class, very important to him that you all know this) and was like "Hey my town had a murder and I have some trauma around it, so I should totes do this." And thus S1 is born.

This is why that season is (relatively) more grounded and far more realistic than the rest of the series because its based on a real true thing that happened and the real feelings and emotions of people involved. It has the least amount of exaggeration (but enough, because Jughead) and has the most coherent plot, which would make sense since Jughead isn't making anything up, he is recalling events.

This is also the only season that directly ties Jughead's narration and the plot to the book Jughead is writing on page, and thus tying them both together. Because again, its a thing that really happened.

So the characterizations, motivations, and actions of everyone in season 1 is the model of how and how these characters actually are and are a base for further exaggeration.

Seasons 2-4 are also based on true events but are exaggerations/interpretations of things that really happened, but are altered to make them more interesting to Jughead's readers (heh).

I don't want this post to be a novel so here is a brief listing of that I am thinking here for some of the main plots (but if you have a plot you want me to fit into this canon let me know):

The Black Hood: When Jughead showed Betty his first manuscript (S1) the positive constructive criticism she gave was that, "True crime is really popular right now, so this fits in with the zeitgeist." And Jughead ran with it. Fred also had his first heart attack at this time...we all know where I'm going with that so I'll just leave that there. RIP.

Making Hal the Black Hood: Hal leaves the family after the Polly debacle and finding some racy pics on Betty's computer (she sent them to Jug, she wasn't a camgirl) and decides to start his life over with a woman who is far more moral (and probably like 2 years older than Polly)

The Serpents/Class War with Hiram: Not a gang, just those under the boot of the rich that Hiram tries to eradicate through good ol fashioned gentrification. Archie and Veronica also start spending more time doing rich people shit and that drives a divide between the two main couples of the core four. But less about political plots and more about teenagers growing apart because of different interests

Season 3: Putting this all together because Jughead was having a hard time finding a plot here. So he focused on Alice's new weird young boyfriend who actually ended up taking off with Polly (leaving her twins), his newfound obsession with DnD (Betty was exhaustedly supportive of this) and Kevin's endless talk about the new megachurch he just joined. He and Betty also started watching a lot of horror films and Hitchcock at the time which leads us to...

Season 4: He and Betty go off to different schools but its because of college, not because Jug is the chosen one (again see why he is writing all of this himself). He meets a lot of pretentious people that challenge his relationship with Betty and he turns it into a mystery.

So now we have made it to 4.17. Ugh.

Okay so Jughead has written all of this, and reading everything back feels that Archie and Betty (who go to the same college now and are friends again after growing apart after he dated Veronica) have grown too close and Jug self destructs.

He self sabotages so hard and makes a story up in his head that Betty would be much happier with Archie who is doing perfectly mediocre at college while Jughead flunked out.

So he and Betty break up after a lot of frustrated fighting.

And he begins to write Betty differently. Wildly differently.

(You can't tell me this doesn't make more sense than whatever the hell happened in the show.)

Jughead dejected from his failure at school and his breakup Writes on and off for the next few years. His next main attempt is S5. His attempt at more realistic writing.

(Its also after Betty enters his life again, because at her core Betty is his muse)

He works through his fictional frustrations of Betty and Archie as a possible couple (They never dated. Archie is actually a aromantic pansexual who does not do commitment) and realized that he made it all up and they have nothing in common.

Jughead and Betty get back together at the end of "Season 5" but Betty tells him that writing about their real life is what tore them apart, so he needs to not use their relationship in his writing anymore.

So Jughead decided to get weird and wildly experimental with his writing. And because Jughead is not a particularly good writer S6 and S7 are born.

Betty, absolutely running out of positive things to say about his last few writing attempts tells him that maybe these exaggerated versions of their lives that bear no resemblance to the real world have run their course, and he should try something new.

So Jughead wraps up this now unrecognizable series of writings and moves onto something new.

With Betty diligently serving as his editor. She got distracted with her new job and left him unattended for those last few seasons and look what happened.

Also I realize that Archie/Veronica/Cheryl/Toni are absent in this so briefly

Archie: He always was in awe of Archie and slightly jealous of what he perceived he had over Jughead...this is why he is the quasi-hero and also why he tortures Arch and treats him like an idiot.

Veronica: I cannot stress this enough. He and Veronica have no relationship. She is his friend's girlfriend and his girlfriend's best friend. The only thing he really knows about her is she is rich and hot. So he makes that her core personality and slaps on whatever traits fit her best for whatever plot he is writing at the time.

(This is also why almost all the women Veronica, Tabitha, Jessica, and Toni all are at some time his love interest. Self instert fan fic Jug. We see you.)

Cheryl/Toni: He and Toni are friends and Cheryl is her girlfriend who endlessly terrifies him. That is the core of her characterization.

I already regret the fact that I am sharing this long-winded mess with the world...but I can't take it back now.

Enjoy. And if you don't that is fine. It's my head canon not yours. Go make your own.

Have fun on finale night folks.