#which is funny because he Does Not live by this rule

[sugarbombs-n-stuff]

Companions as Parents because of a Science Experiment

Sorry ive been gone for so long, life’s a bitch but may I offer this up? No ada or strong, I’m sorry! Also synth shaun is mentioned at a few points. ENJOY!

Cait: She was confused at first, of course she was! It was supposed to be a routine check up and sole being a lovely partner, joined. She didn’t expect for the doctor to comeback with a baby made from Sole and her’s DNA, LIKE WHAT THE FUCK DUDE. After double and triple checking the infant was in fact, both hers and sole’s, panic and paranoia seeped into her bones like old friends. She was terrified that she would turn out like her parents that she asked sole if they could put the baby up for adoption, surely anyone would do better than her? Sole had said to feel it out for a couple of weeks so she did, she kind of felt bad seeing as the baby girl didn’t even have a name. One night when Cait had sat in the living room feeding the wee bastard, the baby looked up to her with the same green eyes Cait had herself and it was like something clicked in her head. She put the bottle down and brought her closer to her face and she gave her a small kiss. When Sole came out of their shared room an hour or so later, they saw Cait with their baby girl in one arm and a book in another. Cait looked up at her and asked “Which do you like better, Helena or Aoife?”

•They chose Helena

•If they had,had a boy it would have been Tadhg

•She’s cautious and a bit mean at times but she does her best to explain to Helena as she’s growing up

•When her and Sole talked after agreeing to keep her they also made some joint rules for how they would want to raise her

•She’ll point out cute fabrics to make clothes with or cute toys

•Piggy backing on my own headcanon, Cait made her crib and toys through woodworking

•As Helena grew up, she had a biting problem whenever she got angry and while Cait found it a bit funny, after Sole would tell her to stop encouraging her she would do her best to correct Helena’s behavior

Codsworth: Codsworth was overjoyed! He’d always wanted a little boy of his own and sole had made him one! A mini Mr. Handy, a custom made model. Part of him always felt like he failed Sole with Shaun, like he had lost a boy too. He was comforted by the fact Sole would do this for him and he couldn’t wait to show his son the wonders of the commonwealth.

•He named his son Adam, seeing as Sole made him he thought it fitting

•He’d fuss over Adam always, freaking out if even a chip of his paint had come off

•He would start considering transferring himself into a synth body after awhile, same with Adam but for right now he was content

•Adam had a nasty habit of leaking oil and heating up his metal so hot that no one could touch him, poor baby couldn’t control it but Codsworth would give him some coolant and have him sit outside for a little. However if there was nothing he could do and it happened to be winter, he’d walk with his boy around which ever settlement they were at and offer heat

Curie: She did the experiment on herself. She wanted to see what it was like and she could only interview so many pregnant people that she did it herself with the help of Sole. She sliced up the DNA herself and injected herself with it. Sole had made sure that she was alright and had regular brought up that she couldn’t get rid of the baby once it was born and she was fine with that. She knew what childbirth had entailed and she was alright with it, she loved kids after all. She finally gave birth to a baby girl during the summer time, they chose the name Dominique.

•Dominique was born prematurely by a month

•Curie worked with Sole and Sturges to help her as well as regular check ups by her self or Doc Carrington from the railroad

•Dominique ended up being allergic to a dew commonwealth things like hubflower and tarberry but besides that she was a perfectly normal, healthy baby.

•Curie liked to dress her daughter in the cutest outfits. Sole has many pictures of their baby girl in a cute outfit that they had made with a matching hat and fashion glasses when curie was doing field research

•Curie monitors how she moves and what food she does and doesn’t like, if she obtains anymore allergies, what toys she likes playing with etc

•Curie is overjoyed when Dominique starts getting into science toys

•Loves being a mom but also makes sure to remember that she’s not just a mom

Danse: Listen, it’s not that Danse didn’t want a kid, it’s just what would he do with it?! He left the brotherhood and is a minuteman now but what if that puts their child in more danger?! His worries clear up when Sole and the doctor come back with their baby, a little boy who looks like the perfect mix of Danse and Sole. Sole hands him the baby and while the fear is still there, it’s overcome by joy. This is their little boy, and he’ll do anything to protect him.

•They name him James but they call him Jamie

•If they had a girl, her name would have been May

•Danse is overprotective, full on helicopter parent but Sole helps calm him down

•The first time Jamie got sick he started hyperventilating cause he was so nervous but eventually calmed down when he was informed that it was a cold and he’ll be okay.

•Was happy to teach Jamie how to hunt when he expressed that he wanted to learn

•Does classic dad stuff, like stereotypical

•Starts drinking concerning amounts of coffee after Jamie is born to the point that sole had to put a limit on him

Deacon:He didn’t deserve this. Babies were too pure and he felt like he was going to taint this kid. But eventually he thought about it and he had always wanted kids, he was good with them he’d say. He was still a little hesitant but then fully leaned into being a dad and was happy to do it with Sole. Especially when he saw their little science baby. And she was beautiful, she had his red hair but her eyes were like Sole’s except for the fact that they were far apart and he had only seen that distance and face shape on one person. He guessed maybe Barbara made her own claim on the baby in some way.

•They named their daughter Lily, he had wanted to name her Mazikeen after a book character but Sole swiftly vetoed that

•Like he is as a person, as a dad he puts on a care free attitude but is truthfully very paranoid

•He cuts her nails often so she doesn’t scratch herself because when she was starting to grow them , she scratched at her face so badly she bled

•He will take goofy pictures with her like her chewing on his glasses or her covered in food and her with the worse case of bed head

•With friends, he is absolutely the type of dad to show off these pictures to them

• “You can’t say you don’t like it if you haven’t tried it”

•When Lily was a baby, in winter he would put her bassinet outside after it snowed to take a nap in so it could build her immune system

•100% has eaten baby food and will again “It’s not that bad, wanderer , you’re just pre-war and picky”

•HATES the smell of the baby formula so they either feed her brahmin milk or donated breast milk from one of the minuteman charities

•Will often take her to Carrington for checkups

Hancock: Listen, Hancock got around. He’s surprised that he doesn’t have more “ooopsie babies” besides Fahrenheit. What he wasn’t expecting was to settle down and have a freaking magic baby!? Ok maybe not magic but with how near-dead his swimmers are, may as well be. But now he was sitting with his partner holding their blonde-headed baby boy.

•They named him Felix

•If they had a girl, her name would have been Lola

•Hancock was anxious that the baby would come out weird looking but the only ghoul trait Felix has is that he’s immune to radiation which is a pretty damn good trait

•He kind of fucked up with Fahrenheit so after Felix was born he wanted to make amends for the sake of both of his kids.

•He is genuinely care free but protective of Felix

•He tries his best to clean up Goodneighbor some, both literally and physically

• “Dad, there’s like whore’s here and stuff.” “How many times have i told you to not say ‘and stuff’, just say ‘Dad, there are whore’s here’”

•Felix is sarcastic to the max and Sole and Hancock find it so entertaining

•Gets antsy when Sole takes Felix to Diamond City for a number of reasons

•Felix is terrified of Mirelurks so they rarely take him near the beach, mostly Salem and Quincy

•Cleans up his act for the most part too, doesn’t want his son to turn out like him and get into drugs

MacCready: Oh boy, another one. He was excited the moment Sole brought it up and they were happy to tell Duncan. Like with deacon, the baby had Lucy’s eyes and their shape. Both Sole and Mac thought their baby girl was just darling.

•They named her Annette

•Like Mac and Duncan, she was allergic to dust

•MacCready and Sole take the kids on walks just to make sure they both get enough sunshine

•He panics bad when Annette gets sick. He reminds himself that what happened to Duncan won’t happen to Annette. Though it takes awhile for him to believe it

•Annette ends up being the polar opposite of Duncan, she likes reading and coloring and she likes to be on the swings but she doesn’t want to be out there two long

•The swear jar continues, he got swindled out of 10 caps once cause he went on a tirade in front of Duncan and Annette. Duncan stopped showing Annette his comic books and leveled Mac with a stare that he swear bore into his soul. His loving spouse Sole, couldn’t stop laughing for a hot minute afterwards.

Nick: When sole had brought it up he was hesitant. Making a synth like shaun, who could grow has they aged? Eventually he got around to the idea and thats how he ended up with their son Carlo.

•Loves singing to him

•Invites Ellie over to meet him “Nick, OMG HES ADORABLE”

•Wouldn’t really know what to do about changing them but would learn quickly, he’s not just dumping that on sole

•As Carlo grows up he does his best to instill a good moral code in him.

•He isn’t quick to anger but he’s not going to coddle him either

•He’ll make sure Carlo knows that he’s loved more than anything though

Piper: Hell yeah she wants a baby! She liked raising nat so she thinks she’ll like raising this baby girl.

•She names her Mina, she didn’t let Sole pick the name

•Sole made her attend parenting classes with them because they didn’t like how she left nat alone

•She slows down on journaling, doesn’t stop but she wants to spend more time with her family

•Mina needed glasses from a very early age which caused Piper to star calling her Bug cause her glasses made her eyes huge

•Mina runs into everything, just like Piper, both very accident prone

Preston: Since his mental health had gotten better he loved the idea of having kids and loved shaun more than anything else. Naturally when Sole brought up having one through science, he was cautious but excited. Somehow he ended up with twins, a little boy and girl and he loved them more than anything.

•His kids names are Loucilla and Ben

•He was surprised that there were two but they immediately became his pride and joy

•Yall know jack from This is Us, that’s Preston as a dad.

•Loucilla got the nick name “Silly-Lou” early on because she would try to chew on ben’s hands, Preston’s nose ,Sole’s hair, and Shaun’s Ear. The first time she did it she immediately rolled forward

•Ben’s nick name is Bean/Beanie cause thats what Shaun had thought you said at first

•Shaun was the one to give both babies their nicknames

•Preston always tells people that he has three kids “That one doesn’t look much like you” “Huh, Weird, you must be seeing things”

•Like many fathers before him, he had kids and immediately became the master of the grill

X6-88: It took awhile and a lot of therapy but X6 is a person and he can admit that now. As a person he really wants a kid, he brings it up to Sole first. Sole agrees and nine months later he’s having skin to skin with his daughter.

•They named her Corrine

•X6 acted quite mechanically towards her at first, even sing to her in a monotone voice

•Corrine was a coneheaded baby and it freaked X6 out though Sole did their best to convince him that she was alright and not an alien

•Sole commonly finds X6 standing in the door of her nursery just staring at her

•He’ll change her diapers and sole deals with the spit up

•Will NOT let anyone but him and sole kiss her, if his baby girl gets sick, all of Sanctuary will have hell to pay

•Definitely taught Corrine how to swim by chucking her in the lake behind Sanctuary, she didn’t talk to him for the rest of the week

Gage: Settled down for some fucken ankle biter? What the hell,sure.

•Surprisingly really good with kids, or his and sole’s son, Monty

•He sews Monty 1, count it 1, stuffed animal. Its a baby deathclaw

•Refuses to change a diaper, you can not force him to do it

•Despite looking like he hasn’t bathed in 10 years, he makes sure Monty gets his bath every other day.

•Would rather gut himself than show Monty to the gangs

•He won’t sing to him however humming isn’t singing

•He’s rough with teaching Monty as he gets older. Strike first and strike hard

•Sole calls him cruel at times and he just stares at them like “yeah, no fucking shit”

•Cares about his kid but there may be a few years where they only talk to each other once a day in passing

[nihilisticlinguistics]

this DOES work, btw.

I grew up profoundly lonely; although I had periods where I considered myself to 'have friends', those relationships always ended in ways that made it clear I was a stop-gap measure on the way to finding 'better' friends, so on the whole I really felt I had no sincere friendships from the ages of 7-18.

I tried being in activities; I did choir, sports camps, theater, model UN, knowledge bowl. I tried inviting people to movies or to come over to my house. I tried making conversations at school. Nothing stuck; I didn't know what to do, and I didn't know what I was doing wrong. I don't think this is my fault (anymore); I wasn't being invited to things, and I didn't know how to overcome a gulf that existed, invisibly, between me and my peers.

But I was pretty sure that going to college would be more of the same, so I was skeptical when my dad challenged me, in the weeks before freshman orientation, to adopt a new practice. This practice was called "the Year of the Yes," and it was to say "yes" to anything that I was interested in or on the fence about, or not interested in but wouldn't do me any harm. I could refuse stuff so I had time for schoolwork and going to class; I could refuse dangerous situations, but anything else was on the table.

I went to the party on day 1 of orientation, sang 2 songs of live-band karaoke, and of the 3 people I remember actually interacting with that night, 100% of them are among my closest friends today -- 8 years later.

Someone I barely knew asked me to cover a shift they needed covered at our shared student worker job in the cafe. I accepted, we exchanged numbers, and a week later they invited me to their dorm for leftover moon cakes from the mid-autumn festival. That person spoke at my wedding last month.

Not every interaction was a winner -- obviously. There were plenty of things I said 'yes' to that were boring, and didn't kick off a lifelong friendship. but the scattershot approach--yes to everything--meant inevitably I said yes to the people who genuinely got me, the people who clicked.

And it built a habit. It set off a chain reaction. I listened to the Adventure Zone because my new best friend liked it, and that cultivated an interest in D&D, and when in sophomore year my friend suggested getting a D&D group together from our loose affiliation of friends, I got to know the person who became my girlfriend, then my boyfriend, my fiance, and my husband.

In the span of 3 years I went from believing I would spend my life friendless, unloved, and alone to having a group of beloved people who would stand at my side at my wedding. Because I started saying "yes."

I think the first step towards the life you want is often to just say yes to more things. Accept that coffee invitation from your coworker even if it seems awkward. Sign up for that free class at the library that you're not sure you'll like. Join that club. Book that tour. Say yes to as many things as you can and kill the part of your brain that gut-reacts with a no.

[krogans-give-the-best-cuddles]

Reading the Orchid Thief and lemme say. So fascinating to see someone like. Try to come up with a Reason Why humans like orchids. Two chapters here in a row pretty much treating Orchid hobbyists and plant hobbyists in general like one would an entirely alien culture- and don't get me wrong I understand why to an extent. Trying to make this book marketable outside just plant circles and what have you. But some of the way the camera is angled here is just. Fascinating.

Like, she explains how there are so many unique ways orchids evolved, as an attempt to contextualize for a reader why people might go crazy for them in specific, and describes individual species unique mating strategies, and the inability of them to self pollinate- but while I think that context is interesting it doesn't explain a damn thing. For one thing, having an extremely specific mating strategy is not solely an Orchid thing- a LOT of plants do it like that. Lots are flexible but I would say a vast swath are not and require specific things. For another- apples also don't self fertilize, but you don't have hundreds of thousands of apple varietal collectors.

She discusses their beauty as a reason they're collected- I won't deny that being a factor for sure, plants that humans like the shape of have a tendency to get collected and overcollected all the time- but like. A lot of people collect things that are traditionally ugly or even smell bad- and if it was exclusively a shallow pursuit, no one would work as hard as is required for an insane amount of orchids.

Part of the reasons orchids in particular are popular has to do with colonization. I can't articulate it all myself bc I haven't done research- but a genus that largely exists in tropical regions, that became popular in the late 1800s, that, in order to get in homes, white men would travel to all sorts of regions to take plants out of to get in the home? That is gonna help it get more popular than tomato or apple varieties for sure. I'm sure she's gonna touch on this eventually, given that the story she's covering actually involves the Seminole nation so I'm not holding it against her.

I suppose I'm just fascinated by her approach so far as to trying to understand why anyone would. Work to grow something? Really like something? I mean she pretty explicitly states that she "wants to want something" as much as these people want their plants- describes hobby communities and the idea of like. Working a hobby into your schedule or having friends related to the hobby as a "religion". She's baffled by like. Putting time and energy into a hobby and gaining joy and community from it and is trying to like. Break down orchids into their component parts to understand what makes someone. Want to grow a plant? And get community out of a hobby?

I'm going to be charitable and not make presumptions that she doesn't know like. The concept of loneliness and therefore a longing for community. Or that on some level she must know what common signs of autism are (ignoring her having spent several paragraphs describing several different people with classic signs and symptoms and then settling on "weird"). But it makes me want to turn the camera lens around for a moment. What makes someone presume that it's Orchid "obsession" (the word hobby is rather rare in the book acrually) that is particularly strange or more obsessed than other obsessions? What makes one abstract others hobbies and interests as needing a solve while the ones you surely have seen all over and even participated in aren't worth that examination? The line between "normal" and "abnomal" is entirely one made by dominant society

So this is why hobbies and kink aren't so different in the way they're perceived-

Orchids are an obsession to this author, to be highlighted and examined, or a hobby, to most people. They get a noteworthy category because they are seen as atypical. Sports-watching, however, is like. Never discussed as hobby. Watching football, watching soccer. It's just normal. No one says "that's my hobby." Even if a guy had a room full of memorabilia he would be noted as a "team fan" not a hobbyist. Sports has been declared normative, so it's not really considered a hobby by anyone. Plants? Non normative, therefore the same exact behaviors will get you considered unusual and a hobbyist.

Kink is the same way. People who are attracted to women being interested in breasts is so assumed to be normal and natural that no one calls it a kink. Breasts, the fatty deposits intended for feeding young, are expected to be hidden bc this kink (which everyone refuses to call a kink or a fetish or what have you) is seen as so universal. It's seen as immutable fact that there is a sexual nature to them. Feet however? If someone's into that that's a kink or a fetish if you're feeling kind, an obsession that makes you strange and worthy of examination and explanation if you're not.

I'm not arguing for doing away with calling things hobbies or kinks- I'm actually advocating for calling more normative things those words actually- I think it's just helpful to see where the framing of something, the way in which we choose to examine it, also has a lot to say about that which we leave unexamined, and unnamed. Because we don't categorize the normal.

[quietwingsinthesky]

something coming together in my brain about a SPN/Star Trek fusion with the vessels as trill hosts and angels as the symbiont

[serejae]

they dont know about us | c.hansol

pairing : vernon x reader

WHAT ! - being the only person able to read vernon is a strange concept to others, i guess your relationship is unique (in which, your the only person able to read vernons expressions

warnings : kisses, petnames, mentions of the other svt members, mention of dead people, slight skin ship, not proof read, established relationship au

-

WHEN HE HAS A ATTIUDE

seungkwan, vernon, and you were sitting in the middle of seungkwans living room playing uno. things were getting heated since vernon gave you 3 plus 4 uno cards in a row. so in return to help you out, seungkwan gave you a swap card to swap his stack with yours so you could win

“hey, youre suppose to give the stack to me if your gonna place it down” vernon said, to anyone else his tone would be monotone and blank, but to you, you could hear the slight disappointment in his tactic of teaming up on you.

“my house, my rules” seungkwan replied rolled his eyes at vernon protest as he put down a plus 4 card on vernon. vernons mouth slightly opened in shock, after a few seconds of processing he looked over at you.

to the normal eye this wouldve been a man looking over at someone, but to you this was vernons attitude come in. you could read him perfectly, being able to read anything his face shows from visibly to hidden. no matter how he presents his emotions it seems like you could always tell what hes feeling

“dont give me that look just because you wanted me to lose” you yelled slightly, he laughed and shook his head knowing he was caught

“what look?” seungkwan looked up

“you didnt see the reaction on his face after you put down the plus 4?”

“yeah the face of a dead person, he didnt make a face it was just…blank”

“yeah i didnt make a face” vernon teased making you groan

“he did make a face! he was giving me attitude” you defended yourself to a lost seungkwan and a happy vernon

“you both are so weird”

-

WHEN HES SAD

“i dont know where it could be” vernon ran his hand through his hair as he sat down on the couch frustrated, right now, he thinks he has his eyebrows furrowed, a pout and a slight redness to his cheek. but in reality hes just blanked out. like a mannequin, just sitting there with a blank stare

“its fine you could always buy another” dino said sitting on the floor eating off the coffee table in front of vernon.

vernon sighed as he slumped himself into the couch even more. “yn bought it for me, i cant replace it”

“i mean they could always buy you another one”

“but its not the same”

just then you walked in through the door saying hi to dino and vernon. as your eyes drifted to vernon you see him slumped on the couch with a very (in your eyes) big pout on his face. sitting right next to him you caressed his cheek “whats wrong? whats with the look on your face?”

“what look?” dino said as he chewed his food puzzled

“you dont see the big pout on vernons face?” you turned to dino

“no”

“its right there” you pointed at vernons lips where the pout evidently laid

“i think youre seeing things yn”

-

WHEN HES SCARED

vernon had his arm around your shoulder as the movie wrapped up. you could feel the gentle grip he had that tighted at times a jump scare came up.

when the movie finally ended, vernon got up and gave you a hand to help you up, as you held his hand you looked over and saw his scared face, automatically you busted out laughing making dokyeom and joshuw look over at you two

“whats so funny?” dokyeom asked smiling in amusement as he put a piece of popcorn in his mouth

“look at vernons face, hes so scared” you laughed

dokyeom moved his head to look at vernons face and furrowed his eyebrows while looking over at joshua, joshua was just as confused raising his eyebrow.

“yn, vernon does not look scared at all” joshua chuckled observing vernons expression closer

“what do you mean? you dont see his lips quivering?” now it was your turn to furrow your eyebrows

“i think thats your eyes moving really fast…i dont think its his lips” joshua said making dokyeom laugh

-

WHEN HES IN LOVE

all the members sat around the dinner table with their partners at the house party you and vernon were hosting. vernons finger caressed your thigh in a comforting way letting you know he was there. you laid your hand ontop of vernons fingers and whispered to him

“lets go start on the dishes as they talk”

he nods and lets you get up first before following you to the kitchen. the kitchen gave a view of the dining room to you both as well to everyone else. he washed dishes as you dried them, but something about vernon doing dishes in a basic t shirt with his hair down was doing something to you. you stared at him with your pupils dilated as he looked at you with his brown eyes. at this point vernon probably wss scrubbing the same spot 50 times but that was the least of his priorities

“vernon ah, yns looking at you with love and youre looking at her as if she crashed your car” hoshi joked making you and vernon look away

quick to defend him you spoke up

“what do you mean? he was looking at me with love?”

“that isnt love, thats him turning you into stone” scoups laughed

“i swear you guys have to be able to see the expression on his face”

looking around you see no one siding with you

“is vernon gaslighting you?” jeonghan questioned

looking back over at vernon, he was already staring at you just as confused, he shrugged his shoulders and you both continued washing the dishes.

-

WHEN HES VULNERABLE

“i dont get it, why cant they see the emotions on your face like i do?” you complained slightly annoyed as you laid on his chest

vernon hummed as his fingers ran through your hair. “i dunno

but i kinda like it”

“you do?”

“yeah” he replied simply

“it reminds me that youre special to me, that we have a special relationship. youre the only one who can read my emotions, the others cant and dont understand me like you do.

they dont know about us,

i like that its your special superpower

i dont want them to be able to read me like you can

just a me and you thing”

as you listened to his words you looked up at him and could see it in his face that he meant every word. how he cherished each special interaction you both had that no one else understood. because he liked being different, he liked how no one could get him, but he liked it even more how you were the only one who could

so maybe his friends cant read his emotions on his face and maybe they find him weird , but you can and dont

and thats all that matters to him

[kookooluvr]

Teach Me How To Love - Part 3

pairing: professor!jungkook x (fem) professor!reader, fwb to lovers

genre: fluff, angst, smut, fwb au, economicsprofessor!jungkook, politicalscienceprofessor!reader, slow burn, some emotional constipation, some sappy moments, lots of sexy moments.

summary: jeon jungkook, a fellow professor at yonsei university, is your friend, co-worker, and secret bed buddy. you have rules set in place to make sure there are no misunderstandings in your little arrangement. the #1 rule is as clear as day; no catching feelings. simple, right? wrong. let's see how un-simple it gets when a certain economics professor falls for an emotionally unavailable political science professor.

rating: 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!

word count: 6.7k

warnings: we get to know the besties a bit, jihyo and tae being our cutesie side characters <3 oc and jk both spill the beans to their friends,mentions of the infamous ex (booo, throwing tomatoes), oc buys and wears lingerie for jk, she sends him a photo in said lingerie, explicit sexual content; making out, oral sex (f. receiving), unprotected sex, missionary, squirting, soft dom jk, multiple orgasms, jk learns something new about oc, jk's in his feelings, my poor baby, jk's also a teeny tiny bit of a stalker...but in a sweet way if that makes any sense :)

author's note: part 3 took longer than i would've liked bc my procrastination was kicking my ass. anyway, pls enjoy !!! things will start being a bit more eventful from part 4 onwards so bear with me 🤪🫶🏼 as usual, make sure to like, reblog and pleeeaaase share all your thoughts and feelings about these kiddos <3

taglist: @rpwprpwprpwprw @mimi1097 @livinluvl @bumblebee-21s-blog @koosluvss @sou-17 @puppybunnyjkay @svnbangtansworld @junecat18 @shrek-the-destroyer @tastykookoonut @sturniolowrld @palomanazareth

find tmhtl masterlist here

It's been a week since Jungkook came over. You spoke here and there in passing but you haven't had a chance to actually hang out again after that night because you're both just too busy prepping for final exams before the long awaited summer break. This time of year is always a bit crazy for both the students and the educators, which leaves you with almost no time to mess around with cute economics professors.

You've been a bit stressed out all week, so you really weren't planning on spending your Saturday in a busy mall, looking through racks of lingerie, and yet that's exactly what you're doing. Why? Because Jihyo texted you saying she needed your help in buying something sexy to wear on an upcoming date she has with some guy she met at work. His name's Mark and from what she's told you about him, he sounds...promising.

Jihyo, unlike you, is looking for a boyfriend. Boy, is she looking. She's gone on about seven dates with five different men in the past couple of months and she is yet to find her Mr. Right. From what she's told you, she's looking for someone educated, tall, handsome, funny, and someone who can "match her freak". The closest she got to that was some guy she met at a club two months ago, who was lucky enough to get three whole dates before he eventually gave her the ick by referring to his mother as 'mommy'. For her own sanity, you hope Mark won't make that same mistake.

However, Jihyo's mind isn't on Mark right now. Oh no, she's much more focused on the man you're seeing.

"___, come on. We've been best friends since the fifth grade. Are you really going to look me in my eye and tell me you're not seeing anyone? And don't lie to me."

You roll your eyes, scanning the rack of pink satin and red lace, feeling the different fabrics between your fingers. One minute, you were asking her about Mark and how they met, and the next thing you know, you're being interrogated in the middle of a lingerie store.

"I'm not looking you in your eye. I'm looking at lingerie. Ooh, this is pretty."

Jihyo loves you, really, she does. You've known each other for most of your lives. That means she supports you in everything you do. That also means she can see right through your bullshit when no one else can. She's been suspicious of you and your apparent mystery man for a while now, and she won't stop asking you about him until she gets answers.

"I'm serious. I know you're seeing someone. You're not slick, babe. I know you inside and out, and I have really good intuition...and I might have seen a text I shouldn't have when your phone was on the table at the restaurant during lunch."

Dammit.

"I don't know what you're talking about." You feign ignorance, refusing to spill the beans even after practically getting caught. You and Jungkook both swore to keep it between the two of you. It's one of the rules. Who knows what will happen if you just start breaking rules all willy-nilly. Sure, it's not that big of a deal if you tell one friend, especially your best friend, but that's how it starts. You're breaking this rule, and then another and another until you're Robin Thicke and the lines are blurred.

"Cut the shit," Jihyo says dryly, crossing her arms over her chest, clearly unwilling to drop the subject. "Who is this mysterious 'prof jeon' and why was he asking you when you're free to see him?"

You let out a defeated sigh, looking over at her. You know that look on her face. She's just going to keep asking if you don't tell her and it's pointless lying about it. She can be a pain in your ass at times but she's definitely not stupid. And besides, she's your best friend. You'd be a bad best friend for not telling her that you're basically getting the best sex of your life, right?

Screw it.

"Okay, I'm not even supposed to tell anyone about it and it's really not a big deal but...I'm kinda sleeping with one of the other professors at work." You quickly press your lips together as soon as the words leave your mouth, looking back at the lingerie to avoid her eyes and all the questions you know you're about to be bombarded with in a second.

"What?!"

"Can you keep your voice down?" you whisper-yell, noticing a few people turning their heads to see what the sudden outburst was about.

"Sorry," she mutters with a snort, clearly not expecting that news. "Who is this professor? What's his name? Jeon who? Why didn't I know about this sooner? Since when have you-"

You cut her off before she can get the rest of her questions out.

"His name is Jungkook, he teaches economics, and before you ask, no, he's not my boyfriend or anything like that. I'm still not ready for that. We met a few months after I transferred to work at the university and we were just work-friends for the most part, but then we hooked up one night last year and it wasn't really supposed to happen again because we were a bit drunk but it was so good, and then it happened two more times and then...well, then we just agreed to keep having casual sex. That's it."

Jihyo is quiet for a moment, processing the information that was just thrown at her. How have you been sleeping with this man for a year and she had no idea? She's actually quite impressed that you could keep it a secret for that long.

"Wow."

"That's it? That's all you're gonna say?" you chuckle, turning around to look at her with a light blue lacey set in your hands.

"I just...I'm happy for you. I'm glad you're putting yourself out there again after Sunghoon. I really thought you were going to swear off men for the rest of your life after him."

And there it is. The reminder of the man you spent most of your teenage and early adulthood loving, the man who you thought you would grow old with, the bane of your existence. If it's not your friends or your mother reminding you of him, it's your own brain. You don't blame her for bringing him up, though. He is the main reason why you're so opposed to actually committing yourself to someone again.

"Yeah, well...it's not like Jungkook and I are dating or anything. It's just sex. No big deal," you mutter, not wanting to go down that road right now.

Jihyo knows your love life (or lack thereof) is a bit of a sensitive subject for you. She was there for you when Sunghoon broke your heart. She let you stay over at her apartment when you were too sad to be alone. She sat with you as you cried on her bathroom floor, so this is a big deal to her. This means that you don't spend your nights crying over that human shit stain anymore, and she doesn't blame you for keeping it private. All she really wants is for you to be happy.

"Still. It's progress, babe."

"Yeah, I guess it is."

"So, uhh... how is he?" She grins, gesturing to her genital area, wanting all the long, girthy, veiny details. She can't help but be a little nosey. Besides, what's the point of having a best friend of almost two decades if you can't ask her about the juicy details of her sex life.

"I'm not telling you that, you pervert," you laugh, holding the lacey lingerie out for her to take. She takes it without even looking at it, her focus solely on you and your professor friend.

"You have to tell me. Okay fine, just give me a number from one to ten then... Looks?"

You sigh but decide to indulge her anyway. "Ten."

"You lucky bitch," she scoffs, looking very impressed. "Skills in the bedroom?"

"Nine point five."

"And you're exclusively hooking up, right?"

You nod.

"Okay, ___, please explain to me why we're in a lingerie store and you're not buying something to make this man drool over you," Jihyo deadpans, looking at you like you're insane.

"Don't be ridiculous, we're not here for me. We're here for you and your date."

"And we're not leaving until we both get something." She starts looking through the racks with more determination. "You said Professor Sexyboots is a ten. You have to wear something sexy for him. At least for my sake."

"Professor Sexyboots? I'm sure he'd love that," you scoff, rolling your eyes at her ridiculous nickname for him.

Jihyo is about to respond when she looks up at something and freezes, her eyes widening, causing you to turn your head to follow her line of sight, your eyebrows raising. On one of the mannequins sits a stunning deep-red bra and matching thong, looking like something straight off a Victoria's Secret runway. It's gorgeous, with intricate lace detailing, and it's completely out of your comfort zone.

"No way, I can't."

"What are you talking about?! You'd look so hot. C'mon, it would be so fun. You could send him a little sneak peek and invite him over and he can take it off with his teeth," she snickers, having way too much fun with this whole thing.

You're not sure how exactly you let Jihyo convince you to buy the skimpy lingerie, but you did, which is why you're sitting in a rather suggestive pose in front of your floor-length mirror in your bedroom. It's silly to feel nervous about sending him a naughty photo. He's seen you naked more times in this past year than you can count, and yet this makes you nervous.

You take the photo and press send before quickly tossing your phone on the bed, letting out a deep sigh.

Jungkook is in the middle of watching some random show on Natural Geographic when he gets your text. He unlocks his phone and all the air gets knocked out of his lungs when his eyes land on the photo of you wrapped in the delicate dark red lace, muttering a breathless, "Sweet baby Jesus".

His fingers shake as he types out a reply, his heart hammering in his chest.

prof jeon [9:46pm]: i've never really been a very religious man prof jeon [9:46pm]: but damn, god is good 😳

You [9:47pm]: LMAO You [9:47pm]: come over

prof jeon [9:48pm]: aye-aye captain 🫡

He rushes to his room to get a hoodie, quickly putting it on while getting a confused look from a half-asleep Bam. He walks over to give the sleepy dog a quick kiss on his forehead and some scratches before getting his car keys, his body working faster than his brain. “Bam, daddy’s gotta go take care of aunty ___, okay? I’ll be back later.” And with that, he’s out the door.

He makes his way downstairs to the parking lot and gets in his car, fumbling with the car keys in a rush to get to your apartment. He knows he probably looks like a teenage virgin right now, but he doesn't care. You always manage to make his midsection tingle and his brain feel all scattered. When he finally manages to get the car started, it takes everything in him to stay within the speed limit as he drives over to you.

You're about to text him to ask how far he is from your apartment, when there's a knock at the front door. You wrap a robe around your body and go to answer the door, seeing a breathless Jungkook leaning his arm up against the wall in the hallway.

"Good evening, Professor," he grins, straightening up to walk inside, eyeing you from head to toe as you close the door behind him. Before you can get a chance to respond, his lips are on yours, his hands cradling your jaw as he kisses you, completely taking you by surprise.

You pull away to look up at him with wide eyes, letting out a little chuckle. "So just straight to the point? No small talk, nothing?"

"Is that what you want?" he asks, looking down at your robe-clad body. "Small talk? Want me to ask you how your day was before I spread your legs?"

"Not really, no."

"Yeah, I didn't think so," he mutters before his lips are back on yours. He picks you up by the back of your thighs in one swift motion, your arms wrapped around his neck as he carries you to your bedroom, eager to get that damn robe off.

He gets to the bedroom and gently lays you down on your back before hurriedly removing his glasses, pulling his hoodie over his head, his t-shirt following quickly behind. He leans down to hover over you, his lips kissing from your neck up to your lips, sensually licking into your mouth to taste more of you while his fingers trail up your thigh under the robe.

He pulls back to look down at you with heavy-lidded eyes, his fingers slowly opening your robe. "Can I take this off?"

You nod and your robe is off within seconds, leaving you in nothing but the skimpy lingerie. His throat goes completely dry. "Fuck. You're trying to give me an asthma attack."

"You don't have asthma," you laugh, rolling your eyes.

"The point is that you're fucking hot, ___."

You scoff and pull him back down to crash your lips onto his, his tongue slipping into your mouth with ease. Your hands lightly travel up his biceps and shoulders, the sensation sending shivers down his spine. You slide your fingers through his hair and give it a little tug, pulling a soft moan from his lips. He loves when you play with his hair, and he especially loves when you tug on it, whether it's while he's kissing you or eating you out.

You pull away slightly to press a few light pecks to his lips, his stomach erupting with butterflies. "You're so good at that," he mutters, gently tugging on your bottom lip with his teeth.

"At what, kissing?"

"Mm," he hums with a lazy little grin on his face. "Might need you to demonstrate again, just to make sure."

You laugh, placing another kiss to his lips, lingering there for a bit before pulling away.

"Mm, one more," he whispers before his mouth is back on yours, his tongue tangling with yours as the kiss grows more heated.

He reluctantly breaks away from your mouth, his lips trailing down your neck, leaving a trail of hot, wet kisses on your skin.

He nips at your pulse point, his teeth leaving a little red spot on your flesh.

"Jungkook, I'm going to kill you if there's a mark," you mutter, but the huff of laughter he lets out tells you he doesn't care.

"You'll be fine," he chuckles, his voice hoarse with desire, his tongue tracing the mark he left behind. He leans on one hand while the other slowly trails up the side of your ribs, making its way to the back of your bra.

"This is so pretty," he whispers, giving your earlobe a little tug with his teeth. "Can I take it off yet?"

"Mhm," you nod, slightly arching your back off the bed to let him unclasp the bra. He slowly slides the fabric off your body and tosses it aside, kissing his way down to your breasts. He licks and sucks on each of your nipples before trailing slow, soft kisses down your stomach.

"Lift your hips for me, baby." You do as he says, his fingers hooking into the sides of the tiny lace thong, slowly pulling the fabric down your legs.

You spread your legs for him, showing him your glistening folds. The sight alone makes his sweatpants feel tighter. He kneels down at the edge of the bed, spreading your legs further apart. He kisses his way up your leg from your calf to your inner thigh, holding your ankle over his broad shoulder.

His lips inch even closer to your pussy, just a few centimeters from where you need him most. "Jungkook," you whine, your arousal growing by the second.

He chuckles teasingly, stopping at your inner thigh. "You're so whiny."

"Don't tease, Kook."

He grins, hovering his mouth over your pussy, his breath fanning over your folds. "Love seeing you all worked up for me," he murmurs, slowly licking his lips before pressing a feather-like kiss to your mound.

"Just shut up and eat me out."

"Yes, ma'am."

He starts slow with wet little kisses and licks to your clit, slowly building up a steady pace. He loves eating you out. He could go for hours if you let him, like a starved man getting a taste of his favourite food. Jungkook's always been more of a giver than a taker, your pleasure bringing him pleasure.

He's incredibly skilled with his tongue, knowing exactly what to do to have your legs trembling. He swirls and flicks his tongue, sucking and lapping at your clit to make your eyes roll back in your head.

"Fuck, Jungkook...feels so good," you sigh, your eyes fluttering shut.

He smiles against your pussy, feeling proud of every little sigh and moan he pulls from your lips. "You taste so good," he mutters before diving back in, licking a long stripe from your leaking entrance to your clit, his hands gripping your thighs to keep them open.

"Just like that...oh my god, don't stop..."

He looks up at you with a dazed look in his eyes, his tongue lapping at you with skilled precision that makes your toes curl, your fingers gripping the sheets beneath you.

"F-fuck, 'm gonna cum," you gasp, grabbing onto his hair to hold him in place, your eyes squeezing shut, your head spinning as the pleasure reaches a peak.

A few more sucks and flicks of his tongue and you're cumming, his hands holding you in place as he laps at your pussy, helping you ride out your high. He feels your thighs quivering, looking quite proud of himself. "You taste so fucking good," he murmurs, pressing a few soft kisses to your clit.

"Holy shit." You're breathless, your pussy pulsating, your heart racing.

He crawls up to hover over you, giving your lips a quick peck, his lips and chin glistening. "Still with me?"

"Mhmm," you grin, slowly opening your eyes to look up at him.

He smiles down at you, taking in your flushed cheeks, your disheveled hair, your pretty eyes. He gently brushes some of your hair out of your face, his thumb lightly stroking your cheek. "You're beautiful, ___," he whispers, his voice laced with tenderness.

"Don't say that."

He furrows his brows in confusion, puzzled by your reaction. "Why not? It's the truth."

"Tell me I'm sexy...not beautiful."

He chuckles, slowly shaking his head, his expression filled with amusement and affection. "You're gorgeous," he whispers, lightly kissing your cheek, his lips trailing over to your ear. "And incredibly sexy."

"You gonna fuck me now?" You tease, your lips curling into a soft smile.

He almost laughs at your bluntness, the way you just get straight to the point, never wasting any time if you want something. Your assertiveness has always been a turn-on for him, not just in the bedroom, but in general.

"That's the plan, yeah."

"Let's get this show on the road then."

He gets up off you and removes his sweatpants and boxers, letting it lay somewhere on your bedroom floor. He's already hard, his cock standing tall, the tip already leaking a bit. He stands at the end of your bed, his hand wrapped around the base, his eyes glued between your legs, slowly trailing up to your face.

He crawls back on top of you, sliding his fingers through your folds, gathering some of your slick and rubbing it over the head of his cock. "Ready, baby?"

You give him a nod and he slowly pushes into you, his hips gently moving forward. "Shit, you feel good," he groans, his voice coming out low and hoarse.

You sharply inhale through your nose, feeling that familiar stretch, your walls molding to the shape of him like it was made for him.

He thrusts slowly, bracing his forearms on either side of your head, his forehead resting against yours. His thrusts get deeper until he bottoms out, his breathing growing heavier, his moans going straight to your core. He buries his face in your neck, feeling your hands gripping the muscles in his back as he thrusts harder.

Your moans grow louder as he thrusts into you, your walls fluttering around him, your legs wrapping around his waist. "Fuck, that feels so good."

"Yeah? You like that, baby?" he grins, pressing wet kisses to your neck and chest.

You've never had a man make you feel the way Jungkook does. He knows exactly how to touch you, how to kiss you, how to have you like putty in his hands. Your skin heats up, your heart pounding faster as he picks up the pace, hitting that spot deep inside you that makes your back arch off the bed.

"Mmm, f-fuck...harder...h-harder, baby," you moan, feeling him lift one of your legs over his shoulder, the tip of his cock repeatedly hitting that sweet spot inside you, the new angle allowing him to thrust even deeper.

"Like that?" He grunts, sitting back on his knees, his thrusts hitting harder, his pace getting faster.

"Oh my god, right there...feels s-so good, Kook."

"Wanna cum again?"

You can barely form a coherent sentence anymore. Your moans mixed with the sound of his skin slapping against yours fills your bedroom, his thrusts making your pussy squelch.

"Use your words, baby."

"Wanna...wanna cum," you whine, feeling him hold your leg next to his head and press wet kisses to your ankle and calf, the pressure and pace of his thrusts feeling just right.

"Hold it." His voice is rough and demanding, a stark contrast to the gentle tone he usually uses with you outside of the bedroom, the sound sending a shiver down your spine.

He ignores your whines and pleas for him to let you cum, thrusting as deep as he can go, his free hand reaching down to push his thumb into your mouth. Your body works on autopilot, sucking on his thumb. You swirl your tongue around it like you would do to his cock, causing his hips to stutter before he regains his composure.

"Such a good girl for me. Gonna make you cum so hard, baby."

He pulls his thumb out of your mouth to rub firm circles over your clit, the pressure paired with his thrusts making your head spin. The pressure starts to build in your lower stomach, and it feels different, better than it usually does, your pussy clenching down harder around his cock.

"Feels...f-feels like I'm gonna...p-pee..."

He lets out a faint chuckle, his hips moving with determination. "You're not gonna pee, baby," he mutters, his tone sounding almost teasing.

"H-how do you know?"

"Trust me, baby, I know. You're not gonna pee." He can tell you're close, your body practically begging for release as he rubs your clit faster. He looks down to where your bodies connect, seeing how swollen and puffy your pussy looks, the sight making his cock twitch. "It's gonna feel so good, baby, I promise."

"Gonna...gonna cum-"

"I know, baby. Let go for me...let it all out."

You cum with a loud cry, your body convulsing beneath him, your vision going blank as the pleasure hits you. It feels relentless, like nothing you've ever felt before, and he's made you cum many times before.

"Fuck, that's my girl." His thrusts slow down but they don't stop, keeping his pace steady to help you through it. "That's it, baby...ride it out..."

Your body trembles as you come down from your high, barely able to register him pulling out. Your eyes are half open as you watch him stroke himself above you, his face contorting in pleasure, his abdomen tensing. He finishes with a guttural moan of your name, painting your stomach and breasts with warm strings of cum.

"Fuck. I think I just saw Jesus," he breathes out, his chest heaving as he gasps for air.

"Yeah? What did he tell you?" You chuckle breathlessly, still feeling the aftershocks of your orgasm.

"He said you squirted."

Your eyes almost bulge out of your head, looking down to find his lower stomach and pelvis drenched.

"Oh my god," you groan, your words muffled by your hands as you cover your face.

"Hey, don't be embarrassed. It was probably the sexiest thing I've ever seen," he murmurs with a faint chuckle, gently pulling your hands away from your face, forcing you to look at him, his face looking rather smug.

"You look very pleased with yourself."

"Can you blame me? I made you feel so good, you practically exploded all over me," he grins, looking down at the mess between your legs. "Ohh, she's so swollen now. She took a bit of a beating, huh?"

You let out bashful scoff, your cheeks heating up at his choice of words.

He quickly gets up to go and clean himself off in the bathroom, coming back to slip his boxers back on. He watches you slowly get up off the messy bed, your knees feeling weak as you clumsily walk off to the bathroom, needing a hot shower after that intense session. He sits on the edge of the bed, leaning back on his hands as he watches you stumble.

"Legs a little wobbly there?" he teases, unable to stop the amused smile from spreading across his face.

"Shut up," you mutter as you make your way to the bathroom, earning a little laugh from him.

While you're in the shower, he takes it upon himself to remove the dirty covers and sheets from your bed, looking for your lavender room-spray on your vanity. He knows you always spray it around the room after sex, and he knows you keep it on your vanity, but for some reason he can't find it there. What he does find, however, is a framed photo he's never seen before. You're in it, and it looks like it was taken on the day of your undergrad graduation ceremony. You're standing next to a younger-looking girl, whose face is quite similar to yours. She is just slightly taller with shorter hair. Jungkook doesn't know much, or rather anything, about your family, but he assumes the girl in the photo is your sister.

He picks up the frame and goes to sit down on the bed, inspecting it closely. He feels a bit guilty, like he's been caught red-handed for snooping when you come out the bathroom wrapped in your robe, your eyes landing on the frame in his hands.

"What're you doing?"

"Sorry," he murmurs, his eyes growing wide, feeling like a child that's been caught stealing. "I just...I was looking for your room spray...or mist, whatever it is, and... I, uhm, I don't know, I guess this just caught my eye. I've been here many times but I've never really looked around, y'know?"

You nod slowly, going to sit next to him at the edge of the bed.

"Is this...your sister?"

You look up at him, seeing the surprise on his face.

You and Jungkook have sex. You work at the same university. You're "work-friends" and that surprise on his face is a reminder of how little he truly knows about you, how little of yourself you actually share with him. He knows you have a cat, but he doesn't know you have a sister. He knows the way you take your coffee, but he doesn't know anything about your childhood. It's a stark contrast to how much you know about him. You know his favourite foods because he's very specific about where he gets his takeout from. You know his favourite brand of beer because he always has it stocked up in his fridge. You know all about his family dynamics because he speaks about them all the time, that his brother just had a baby, that her name is Mijoo. You know all of his hobbies and interests because you're quite observant and he's very open, never feeling the need to keep anything to himself. You're similar in some aspects of your personalities, and yet very different.

"Yeah, that's my sister, Yuna," you murmur softly, looking down at the photo with a tight-lipped smile.

He absorbs this new information, a mix of feelings swirling inside him. Part of him feels slightly hurt. Four years of knowing each other and a year of hooking up, and he's only just found out you have a sister. He's an open book, always sharing all these intimate details about himself with you, yet you keep so many parts of yourself hidden from him. He wonders if it's just in your nature or if you deliberately keep him at arm's length, preventing him from getting too close.

At the same time, a small spark of hope lights up within him. You're not completely shutting him down so that's good. Maybe this is a sign that you're actually opening up to him for once. It might seem minor, but he takes it as a huge step forward with you.

He has a million questions he wants to ask, but settles for, "What's she like?"

There's a beat of silence before you speak. "She's, uhm...she's three years younger than me, and she's probably the most extroverted person you'll ever meet, so we're...very different," you scoff, smiling fondly at the thought of your baby sister.

He listens intently as you talk about your sister. He wants nothing more than for you to let your guard down with him, and this is a start. It's small, but it's something.

"That must make for an interesting sibling dynamic, hm?"

"We actually get along great in spite of that. We grew up super close, so..." You speak softly, feeling a bit uncomfortable with showing even just a hint of vulnerability in front of him. "So, yeah. Now you know that about me."

"Yeah," he murmurs softly, his voice barely louder than a whisper. "Now I know."

You gently take the frame from his hands and walk over to your vanity, putting it back in its place. You pick up the lavender room spray and turn to him with a faint smile. "This what you were looking for?"

"There's the damn thing," he scoffs, the familiar scent filling his nose as you give the room a spritz. "Is that to get rid of the smell of me?"

You chuckle, but you don't deny it.

The room falls silent again, and he takes it as his cue to get out of your hair, seeing as it's already midnight and he doesn't want to push his luck.

"I should, uh...I should go. It's late and I don't wanna keep you out of your beauty sleep," he jokes, slowly getting up to put his clothes back on.

"I'll walk you out." He wishes, just once, that you would ask him to stay, but he knows you won't. He walks behind you, stopping at the front door. He so badly wants to reach out and take your face in his hands, to kiss your lips and ask you to let him spend the night with you, but when you open the door for him, he simply puts his hands in the pockets of his sweatpants and walks out into the hallway.

"Thanks for tonight," he mumbles, looking down at you with a soft look in his eyes. "It was fun."

"Yeah, it was," you smile, tilting your head to lean against the half-open door.

He just looks at you, not making a move to leave. He has so much he wants to say right now, but he swallows it down, just like he always does, not wanting to overstep.

"Well...goodnight."

"Night, Jungkook."

He takes a small step back, reluctantly turning to leave. "Goodnight, ___," he mumbles, looking back at you with a soft smile.

You chuckle, sensing his reluctance to leave. "Goodnight, Jungkook."

He turns and starts walking away, his feet feeling heavier with each step. Just as he's about to make a U-turn and walk back to you, he hears the soft click of your door shutting, the lock echoing in the empty hallway.

He sighs and walks over to the elevators, going down to his car. He mentally kicks himself for feeling so disappointed. He's always known that you keep yourself guarded, and he thought he could handle it, could play by your rules, could be content with a primarily physical relationship. He could before. But right now, sitting in his car in the silent parking lot, he's reminded of how weak he really is.

He leans his forehead forward against the steering wheel, the weight of his feelings sitting heavy in his chest, muttering a soft, "Fuck."

With a heavy sigh, he starts the car and drives home, his brain taunting him with the fact that romance isn't a possibility for you and him.

On Monday, Jungkook is back in work mode. He tries to squeeze in as many revision lectures as he can the closer it gets to final exams. It's around 3pm when he finally gets a breather, so he goes to his usual spot for lunch.

He sits in the empty lounge, like he does almost every day. Why this specific lounge? Because if he looks out the window, he has a perfect view of you sitting below, eating your lunch on your usual bench. Sometimes you're alone, sometimes you're with another lecturer, and on rare days you just have lunch in your office.

"There you are." He hears Taehyung's voice as he walks into the lounge, sitting down across from him with a huff. "You weren't answering your phone."

Jungkook doesn't respond, his eyes not wavering. He looks out the window with a dopey look on his face, watching you eat your gimbap. Taehyung follows his line of sight, catching on rather quickly.

"So... you taking an online course on how to be a stalker, or...?"

"What are you talking about?" He scoffs, looking over at Taehyung before his eyes inevitably drift back down to you.

"You're staring like a creep," Taehyung laughs, taking a bite of his sandwich. "Is she that professor I saw you talking to the other day?"

"Mm." Jungkook knows how nosey his best friend can be, and he knows exactly what's going on in that head of his.

Taehyung gives him a knowing smile. He doesn't even have to say much, already knowing it's only a matter of time before Jungkook spills.

"You have a thing for her, huh?"

Jungkook looks at him with wide eyes, feeling exposed without even confessing anything. "What? I didn't even say anythi-"

"Don't bother," Taehyung chuckles, "You're not very subtle, man. Your eyes give you away."

Jungkook feels his cheeks burn, knowing he's been caught. He hates how transparent he is, that his feelings are written all over his face. "Fine. But it's not a big deal."

Taehyung gives him a look that says, 'You sure about that?'

Jungkook looks at his friend, then down at his lap, twiddling his thumbs. There's a long silence before the word-vomit eventually spills out of him.

"We've been having sex for a year and it was just casual at first, well...it still is casual, and we set a few rules so that there's still boundaries between us, but then I started developing feelings and she's just so guarded, like, she won't open up to me and I know that if she finds out I have feelings for her, she'll pull away and it'll ruin everything," he rambles, the words tumbling out like he's been dying to tell someone. He knows it was supposed to stay between the two of you, but he trusts Taehyung implicitly and he knows his friend would never judge him or the situation.

Taehyung looks at him with raised eyebrows, listening to him ramble on about the whole situation, trying to wrap his head around it. He knows how much of a softie Jungkook is and he never thought he would ever hear him say he has a friend with benefits.

"Damn, dude...you look like you needed to get that off your chest."

"I guess I did, yeah," Jungkook murmurs with a little scoff.

"Okay, so, she explicitly told you she's not interested in you romantically?"

"Well, no, she didn't say it directly, but she doesn't have to," Jungkook sighs. "She's made it clear more than once that she's not looking for anything serious from me."

"Damn," Taehyung murmurs, his face full of sympathy. "Has she said why?"

Jungkook looks back out the window, looking down at you with a melancholy expression on his face. "I know it's something to do with her ex, but she won't tell me the full story, so I don't really know what happened. I know she's been hurt before and she's wary of it happening again. I know she's not ready for anything serious, and I respect that. It's just..."

"You thought it would be enough for you?" Taehyung asks softly, carefully.

"Yeah."

"But it's not?"

"Would it make me an awful, selfish person if I said it's not?"

"No," Taehyung says firmly, a soft smile forming on his face. "It would make you a human being with a soft heart and strong feelings."

Jungkook scoffs, feeling guilty for simply thinking of being with you in a romantic sense. He knows you've been through some hard things in the past, and all he wants is a chance to prove himself to you.

"Do you want to tell her how you feel about her?"

"I don't know," Jungkook mutters, a slight pout forming on his lips. "I keep going back and forth about it in my head. Part of me wants to tell her and lay all my cards out on the table for her...another part of me is scared of pushing her away even further."

Taehyung goes silent for a moment, chewing on his bottom lip in thought. "Is the sex good?"

Jungkook narrows his eyes at his friend. "You have the worst timing."

Taehyung chuckles, shrugging like he just couldn't help but ask.

Jungkook rolls his eyes but gives in, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck. "Yeah, it's...it's really good. Probably the best sex I've ever had, if I'm being real."

"Wow," Taehyung scoffs, his eyes wide. "I'd say you should wife her but...y'know..."

Jungkook gives him a dirty look, once again getting a slap from reality, Taehyung subtly wincing at his friend's misfortune.

"Look, I want to say screw her and it's her loss because you're a fuckin’ catch...but I mean, I get that she's just being cautious because of whatever happened with her ex."

Jungkook sighs, nodding slowly.

"Yeah. I just wish I could prove to her that I would never hurt her, that I would respect her and treat her right." Jungkook mentally curses your ex for screwing things up for him. He just wants a fair shot with you. "She's such a beautiful woman and she doesn't even see it."

Taehyung nods, looking out at you through the window. "Yeah, she's very attractive."

"No, I mean, she's stunning, but...the way she speaks, the way she acts, the person she is...she's just so beautiful. I want her for so much more than her physical being," Jungkook murmurs softly, his heart yearning to show you just how lovely he thinks you are.

"Honestly, I think the best thing you can do for her is be her friend if that's all she needs for the time being and slowly try to bring down her walls little by little. And if that doesn't work, then I think you should keep your options open. I know this sucks, dude, but you have to think of yourself too. You can't try to mend her while breaking yourself."

Taehyung is a wise man, and Jungkook trusts his judgement. He teaches literature, for crying out loud. He reads Shakespeare for a living. He should be well versed in these things.

"Yeah," Jungkook nods, taking in Taehyung's advice. "I guess you're right, Tae. Thanks for listening to all my crap."

"Hey, you're my best friend. No sweat." He goes quiet before casually asking, "So, do you think she has a friend for m-"

"Tae-"

"Wrong time, my bad."

< Part 2 || Part 4 >

[madrone33]

Number 1 Rule of adapting the Odyssey into EPIC is: if it can be more dramatic, it will be more dramatic.

The Greeks decide to throw the infant Trojan prince from the walls because they're scared he'll try to avenge his family? No, Zeus comes down to personally give Odysseus a vision of being killed and says his family WILL die. Kill the baby that reminds you of your son right now, it's the gods will.

Odysseus goes to greet the inhabitants of an island and gets trapped in a cave for two days by the cyclops that's eating his men one by one? Nope, we got BOSS BATTLE 30v1 in the Ithacans' favour until BAM fourteen pancakes are made by Polyphemus' club and oh shit Polites is DEAD-

Athena is just vaugely absent for the whole journey until the end? We got emotionally charged platonic breakups instead, with yelling and insults and "well I'm breaking up with you FIRST!"

Smooth sailing to Ithaca? STOOOORM-

Odysseus' great-great-great-grandfather giving him a speed boost to help him on his way home? Get ready for trickster wind gods, mischievous winions, and a game that was rigged from the start.

Random-ass suspicious and greedy crew mates open the bag? It's Eurylochus, his second in command, his brother-in-law, the man he trusted, Eurylochus WHYYY

Parking in the wrong harbour and getting boulders thrown at the fleet by angry man-eating giants while Odysseus backs away veeery slowly? Nah Poseidon himself pulls up to dunk on them, and Odysseus has to make a last minute getaway using the power of STOOORM to avoid being curbstomped like his fleet.

Odysseus gets some stronger drugs from a god to make him immune to the other drugs of a goddess? Well these drugs actually give him magic powers which he uses to engage in a Pokémon/Yu-Gi-Oh style BOSS BATTLE!

Get some closure with dead loved ones and acquaintances, and be the first interviewer of the fallen heroes of past ages? Nope, we just got TRAUMA and a whole boatload of guilt!

A neat outline of what the rest of the journey will look like, a warning against an island of cows that will slow him down, and the way to appease Poseidon? This Tiresias just says "Y'know there used to be a world where you made it home, BUT I DON'T SEE IT NO MORE. IT'S GONE. IT'S OVER. Also, your palace is fucked."

Sailing past the sirens while getting to be the first mortal to hear their song and live? M U R D E R

Sailing past Scylla to avoid Charybdis and accidentally getting six men eaten because he thought he could totally take Scylla, even though Circe said he couldn't, and then he realised he, in fact, cannot take Scylla? ... Eurylochus, light up six torches.

Eurylochus waits till Odysseus is out hunting and then goes behind his back to mutinously rally the crew and feast on some sacred cattle? Betrayal on both sides, stabby stab, K.O., and then Odysseus helplessly watches them make the greatest mistake of their lives as they ignore his pleas.

Quick clean and easy lightning-strike to the ship, leaving Odysseus to cling to some driftwood and paddle away? Zeus himself appears to the mortals, monologues, makes Odysseus be the one to choose, and then smites the whole ship leaving Odysseus to nearly drown anyway.

Telemachus gets advice from a disguised Athena to yell at the suitors and then sail away to look for news of his missing father? Telemachus gets into a full on beatdown with the suitors and gets FIGHT CLUB TRAINING from Athena!

Athena goes "dad I want my favourite mortal back? Did you forget about him? I think you forgot about him" and Zeus instantly replies "nonsense. How could I have forgotten that funny little mortal? Of course you can have him back my sweet favoured child <3" and then Athena skips off to Ithaca? "Father please-" "LIGHTNING BOLT! ANOTHER LIGHTNING BOLT! LIGHTNING BOLT TO THE FACE HOW DARE YOU ASK ME OF SUCH A THING!"

Poseidon does a double take "wait they let him go?? Oh hell nah!" and then sends a giant fuck off storm for Odysseus to swim through until he reaches the Phaeacians? No, Poseidon's just been there on Ithaca's shores, waiting for eight years, now get in the water BITCH- except Odysseus is just like "oh yeah? Fucking FIGHT ME"

You thought the suitors in the Odyssey were bad? Jorge really just said "dial that shit up to ELEVEN"

[chxrryhansen]

𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐑𝐘 𝐁𝐎𝐌𝐁 𝐀𝐔

Pairing; Dark!Club Owner Ari x Shy!Reader

Warnings; dark themes, unbalanced power dynamic, daddy kink, thumb sucking, no smut but the rules still apply, Minors please DNI!!

Summary; Ari visits your home, but how does he know the address?

authors note: this is literally like 1.4k words but i honestly did not want to finish this so i quickly scanned over what i had previously written in my drafts. Unfortunately i have no motivation to write anymore and this will likely be my last piece of work, but due to high demand i tried my best because i owe it to you all❤️ apologies if this does not reach the standards you had hoped for.

𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟏

Your head pounded as you rolled over in bed, your greasy hair sticking to the sides of your face, drool crusted around your dry lips, barely any memory of last nights activities. Reaching over to turn on the small clock on your bedside table, the time flashed 1pm. Shit.

Usually on Sundays you and Grandma would go to church, growing up in a Catholic household it was basically mandatory. She would wake you up bright and early before you both took a leisurely walk to the church garden, she had always said connecting with nature was one of the most beautiful gifts life granted us. Panic surged through you, the realisation that she had infact, not, woken you up.

You paused at the sound of voices in the kitchen below, Grandma didn't have many visitors since Pops died, she preferred it that way. For you? not so much. She was always trying to convince you to get out more, find yourself a nice husband, settle down and have kids. Surprisingly, she wasn't against you drinking alchohol, she wanted you to have fun with your friends, while you were still young, and while you still could.

Slowly you sat up in bed, a glass of water and advil rested on table which you hadn't noticed earlier, assuming Grandma had placed them there, you swallowed the pills down gently as you stood, getting changed into a nice sundress, the white and lightpink pattern fitting tight to your figure. Stumbling slightly to the bathroom you brushed your teeth and tied your hair in a ponytail, held together with a pink bow. Giving yourself one last look over, ensuring you looked presentable for your guests, you made your way downstairs.

Your body took a screenshot as you turned the corner, the sight of Ari and a man you hadn’t met before casually floating around in your kitchen caused you to let out a frightened yelp, alerting them of your presence. However, they didn’t seem shocked, almost as if they knew you weren’t in your room anymore…without even looking at you. The men were seated in the small room at the table, both of them turning to face you.

"A-Ari? What are you doing here? H-how do you know where i live? Wh-Where’s my Grandma?" you questioned continuously, your eyes wide in confusion and your body shaking in fear, how could he know where you lived? You must’ve accidentally let it slip last night, which was very unlike you, you didn’t usually share your address with strangers you just met…

The other man turned his waist to look at you, his long brown hair framing his sharp jawline, his physique nearly the same size as Ari's, of course nobody compared to him though. Ari's broad shoulders still towering the mystery mans.

He smirked "My, my, she's trembling already, she almost looks shell shocked."

Ari looked at him with a bored expression "Real funny, Buck." Before he turned to you, pulling out an extra seat at the kitchen table.

"Don’t worry about your Grandma, she’s perfectly safe, Bucky here payed for her to eat at one of his most expensive restaurants, a whole afternoon of nothing but the best services in the city, free of charge. And i thought i told you to call me daddy from now on princess. Take a seat." He smiled, patting Bucky on the shoulders, although it didn't quite meet his eyes, while offering you a seat at your own table…in your own home. His words didn’t bring much comfort yet you let out a sigh of relief knowing your sweet granny was safe and sound, probably having the time of her life.

"Yes d-daddy."

Your eyes flickered to his partners, "Buck's". He said nothing yet his smirk told it all. Before you sat down you tugged at your dress in discomfort, your thighs sticking together due to your tense figure.

"Don't mind him. It'll be as if he's not even here. Now, i got you a gift, baby. Drove all the way across the city to give it to ya' "

"Y-You got me? A gift? Why?" You stammered, hurling more questions at him in anticipation, or nervousness, or both. You couldn't really tell.

"Enough questions, open it." He said in avoidance while sliding a medium size box towards you with his ringed index finger, the wrapping paper a light shade of pink, just to your liking and scuffed around the edges, a clear sign that he had no help.

"You uhm, you really didn't have to do this." You murmered while tearing the paper gently, revealing the newest model of iphone. Your eyes widening in shock at the expense of the gift.

“You like it?” Ari smiled, waiting patiently for your response.

“I-I don’t even know what t-to say. Thank you so much.”

Your eyes began to water at the ‘kindness’ of his gift, nobody had ever bought you something so expensive before, and you never had the money to afford it yourself, your Sunday job at the library not exactly paving your way to wealth.

“You’re very welcome sweetheart. Hey Buck, Why don’t you go wait in the car for a sec.” Ari subtly commands.

“No prob, dog.” Bucky smirks from the doorway on his way out.

You lift your thumb to your mouth and begin biting and sucking. It was a habit of yours, an oral fixation. Sometimes you did it simply out of boredom, others out of nervousness. This was one of those times.

Ari groans under his breath at the sight, his cock straining against his slacks within seconds.

“Here, don’t wanna’ mess up your pretty hands, baby.” he mutters, removing your thumb and replacing it with his own.

Precum leaks from his tip at the sensation of your tongue around his digit, wishing it was his cock your lips were wrapped around instead. You closed your eyes as you suckled on his thumb, it felt much better than when you used your own, you didn’t know why. But you did know that fluttery feeling in your tummy was back. Your juices creating a damp patch in your panties, unbeknownst to you.

The sound of your little whimpers of pleasure caused Ari to let out an almost guttural growl as he watched you squeeze your thighs together, trying to relieve tension you didn’t even know was there.

"Fuck, baby. You don't wanna' know what that shit does to a man like me."

Your eyebrows creased together in a frown, not understanding what he meant by 'man like me'. But you'd learn... soon enough.

“Why don’t you come sit on my knee, baby.” He half asked, knowing it wasn’t really a question, more of a demand.

You scrambled, climbing into his lap, yet the moment your plush thighs met his own you felt something hard and thick underneath your ass, you squirmed trying to move away from the foreign object poking into you. Ari was quick to grip your hips with his free hand, stilling your movements and letting out a deep growl, sending shivers down your spine.

“Daddy i think your keys are poking me.” you whined with a frown on your face.

“That ain’t my keys, pretty girl.”

“What is it then?” You questioned as the uncomfortable object continued to poke the underneath of your thighs.

“Nothin’ for you to worry about, pumpkin.” Ari drawled, desperately trying to hold back from pulling up your cute little dress and fucking you dumb. Suddenly, the door slams open yet again causing you to jolt, Ari’s grip on your thighs tightens.

“Boss, we got a problem.” Bucky calls, peeking his head inside, a serious look on his face.

“Can it wait?” Ari sighs.

“Unfortunately not…it’s the Fowlers.”

Ari’s cool manor drops immediately, his strong arms lift you out of his lap and onto your own chair, you land with a squeak.

His hand reaches for your chin, forcing you to look him in the eyes.

“My number’s already in the phone, you will call me if you need anything. Gotta’ go now princess, i’ll see you soon, yeah?” He muttered, tracing his thumb around your plump lips.

You nod with shaky limbs, the determination on his features sending shocks through your system.

“Good girl.”

And with a kiss on your forehead he was gone.

You let out a breath of air you didn’t even realise you were holding. Oddly, you were sad Ari was gone. A tugging sensation filled your chest, almost as if your body was aching to run after him, to follow him as far as the wind would take you.

But you didn’t.

With a sigh your feet began to shuffle back to bed, knowing your grandma wouldn’t be happy when she got home when she realised you hadn’t done any of your chores. But at that moment you didn’t care.

As you hit the covers and drifted into sleep, you dreamed of him.

You dreamt of the Devil.

[yoredoesmore]

The Life of A Married Couple | Soshiro Hoshina | IDMCWBM

a/n: “I Drink My Coffee With Blueberry Milk” is my new mini series featuring a stoic and always serious reader and her funny and teasing husband (Soshiro)! “IDMCWBM” is a long acronym but we will live 

(I'm not dead guys, exam season is almost over please bear with me! > <)

Husband Soshiro who has multiple folders dedicated to different pictures of you. One is for funny pictures, one is for candid pictures, one for professionally taken images and so many more the list goes on!

You who pretends to not be affected by the fact that you haven't seen your husband in 12 hours but the second someone mentions his name you melt internally 

Husband Soshiro who leaves his office door unlocked at night because he knows that you like to take a nap in there. You act like its no big deal when he catches you but he absolutely loves it

You who once tried to make his favorite dish for him but you ended up creating something so gruesome and terrible that Hoshina lost his appetite that day and has ever since claimed a new dish as his new favorite (don't mention the old dish, he will get war flashbacks)

Husband Soshiro who buys you a cup of flan every month and places it in the exact same spot in the fridge every time, because during your first date you mentioned your love for flan. (You actually prefer pudding over flan but he got it mixed up but that is a secret you will take to the grave)

You who personally tends to his blades, fixes them up and polishes them whenever necessary, since you are the only person Soshiro trusts them with.

Husband Soshiro who once overheard a cadet make an inappropriate comment about you and later that day completely demolished him during the combat training session. He walked away smiling, not even bothering to help him up, which earned him many suspicious looks from the others. (Especially Kafka found himself freaked out by the Captain's roughness)

You who goes lengths to ease up your husbands work life. “Oh, these folders are supposed to be inspected by the Vice Captain? No worries, I will handle them myself.” No matter how much needs to be done in your own office, you will do anything so that Soshiro can rest a little more.

Husband Soshiro who agreed to a “no display of intimacy/PDA in public and especially not at work” rule but he can't help himself but pull you into an empty training room every now and then and show you just how much he needs you. You pretend to be upset but not so deep down you need this just as much as he does (you end up initiating round two)

a/n: I could write these for hours :>. To everyone who has send in a request, please bear with me I'm working on them !! > < for the time being please accept my crumbs

[gabessquishytum]

Dream and Hob are married; have been for a couple of years. They are happy and deeply in love, but they don't talk much about their extended families - Hob's an orphan and Dream was disowned/is seriously estranged from his family.

But when a magical raven appears during one of their (frequent) make out sessions, they probably need to discuss it - especially sinceboth of them expected the message to be for them.

I love the idea of both of them being fae, okay, because it would be so funny.

At the beginning of their relationship, Hob is totally devious and tries to use his fae magic on Dream (he does this often, to get what he wants from people, but nothing too manipulative - just getting people to pay for his dinner and so on). But the magic doesn't seem to work on Dream. Very odd indeed. But Hob fell in love with Dream anyway, and stopped trying to use tricks on him, so it hardly mattered.

Perhaps Hob should have realised when Dream explained that he had an allergy to iron. A thing which Hob also has, because he's fae. They both take antihistamines, and avoid touching metal objects if they can. It's just another thing that they have in common - another thing that brings them together.

Well. In the end, Hob is blown away to discover that Dream is fae, too. Not only that, he's the prince of the fae realm, the one that ran away from the court to live among humans. Hob is the equivalent of a fae peasant, and he's terrified that Dream will no longer want him.

But of course Dream does want him. He's been summoned back to rule the fae kingdom, and he'll need a consort by his side! No way is he leaving his husband behind. Hob’s devious tricks are probably going to come in very handy at the court, anyway...

[thewertsearch]

Decided to take a little look at the Formspring over the weekend. 

I’m not sure exactly where I left off last time, so I decided to start from the last question I commented on - which means that these are old questions, from way back in the Hivebent era. 

I don’t know if it’s because I’m fairly young, or because I’m not American, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen a reference to either of these shows. I haven’t even heard of the second one.

Let me live, Hussie!

We get some hard numbers for Homestuck’s readership, although I’m sure it had grown significantly by the time Cascade rolled around. For reference, this was posted around the time of WV: Rise up.

Karkat originally described Semi-Perfect Jack as ‘something higher than a queen or a king’, which really made it sound like Jack was stronger than either - but I suppose this makes sense, too. 

Jack’s not necessarily stronger than the Queen was - but he’s definitely more dangerous, because he doesn’t follow the normal rules of a Ringbearer. The Queen was a bad-tempered moderator, but Jack is a troll who���s stolen the moderator’s password. 

Hussie’s constant teasing of Team Sleuth is honestly pretty funny. 

I suppose it makes sense that Prospitian Agents would have different priorities - but what about Prospitian Exiles, Hussie? We’re about to be introduced to four new ones, and they could be anyone. 

I like Hussie’s take on creating web content. I agree - you should be making what you want to make, not what gets you the most clicks. 

If I had to knock one point off of Homestuck’s rating, it would be due to the comic’s obsession with clowns. My apologies to all the clown lovers out there, but I simply cannot get into them.

I’ve never seen Lost, myself. I hear it initially had potential, but fell apart later on when it had to keep the promises made by its premise. 

But I think was sold it for me was when I got the idea to mix the pairs of slime from their respective guardians. The whole weird mess struck me as an especially novel origin story, and the thought of making these 8 babies all at once was just ridiculous enough to be irresistible. Not just because of the mad science/time travel/paradoxical novelty, but because of the new light it put the characters under. Especially the guardians I think. These weird automaton-like authority figures, mostly obstacles in the early going, are quite probably very much like the kids, just at different stages in their weird lives (i.e. the ones where they lose their facial features). They're all kind of like siblings in a way, even if not all biological. (Though some are!) And I think you could pick up on that from some of the early interactions, that for instance Rose was likely a very similar person to her mom. Her mom just happened to be an adult!

Hussie originally saw the Guardians as pretty similar to their kids - and Rose, in particular, would be quite similar to Mom. We’ve already seen that Rose takes after her father, but it sounds like Roxy’s going to match her vibes, too. 

Laughing my ass off at the implication that there’s an upper limit to that number. 

Damn it, I really was hoping for some sort of anime showdown during the finale. 

Mind you, Hussie’s not saying it won’t happen - just that if it does, it won’t take up a third of the comic’s runtime. 

God, I am so here for nunchuck Sollux, and I’m getting sadder and sadder that these forum threads are all gone. I wonder what other early headcanons people had for the trolls? 

Heh.

See, I kind of figured that Homestuck wouldn’t get fully into the nitty-gritty of a Sburb campaign - but damn, would I still love to see it. I suppose speculating about the game’s mechanics is just as fun, though. 

This answer seems to confirm that Terezi had no idea what the Doomsday Scale really was. 

I wonder what she thought about the fact that it bore her sign? Did she wonder about the Pyrope who left it there, or did she already have a pretty good idea of who it was likely to be? 

[pluckyredhead]

“I have larger thoughts about how DC has kind of written themselves into a hole with Jason and now he's stuck in this limbo that's unsatisfying to everyone which is why so many Jason fans are mad all the time, but that's for another ask.”

🤓 Do tell…

Okay, let's see if I can do this in less than a thousand words!

So Jason, at his core, represents a challenge to Bruce's ideology, right? Bruce's #1 rule is No Killing, and Jason's basic idea is: "That doesn't work. Some villains are bad enough that they have to be killed for the greater good." (There's something very funny about Jason, famously undead, thinking killing stops ANYONE in the DCU, but we'll leave that aside for now.) This is a really interesting ethical quandary to throw Bruce's way, and by having it voiced by his beloved son, his greatest failure, his second most profound tragedy, it becomes a deeply thorny emotional problem as well as an ethical problem. That's all great.

The problem is, DC can't allow Jason to be right, for two reasons:

Batman must always be right and must always win.

...I mean, come on. They can't actually publish a story advocating for a traumatized 19-year-old with assault weapons to be the arbiter of who lives and who dies, that's nonsense. I love Jason but really.

The problem with that is, Jason is a major recurring character.

UTRH works great in a vacuum. But if Jason is showing up in a comic every month, or even just a few times a year, this central conflict has to be addressed, and the options for doing that are limited:

Bruce and Jason fight and Jason wins. DC will never let this happen. (And what would "Jason wins" even look like, honestly? He's not going to kill Bruce.)

Bruce and Jason fight and Bruce wins. They've done this a bunch (sometimes with Dick in place of Bruce), but Jason fans don't want to see him repeatedly getting his ass kicked while being lectured, and frankly it doesn't make Bruce look great either.

Bruce allows Jason to kill people. This can't happen either; it would be wildly out of character for Bruce, not to mention literally everyone in the Batfamily. They are all canonically pretty opposed to murder.

Jason continues to operate however he wants, but outside of Bruce's reach/jurisdiction. As wretched as RHATO was, I actually think it was a smart decision to keep most of the action outside of Gotham, because then we can pretend Bruce doesn't know what Jason's up to, just like we pretend Clark couldn't super-hear everything in Gotham and save Bruce's ass every single night without breaking a sweat. The problem here is that it means Jason is unavailable for the kinds of casual team-ups and crossovers that fans of all stripes crave - plus, every time he comes back to Gotham, he and Bruce have to relitigate their entire relationship AGAIN.

Jason compromises and agrees to follow Bruce's rules in order to have a relationship with the Batfamily. This is basically where DC has landed, and I understand why they did, because it's the option that allows them to publish the most comics with Jason in them, which they want to do because he is an immensely popular character who makes them money. However, it leaves him in this awkward position where instead of being a tragic villain/badass antihero, he's just...the sassiest member of the family, while simultaneously always being available to be treated like shit because he's Bad. He gets punished without even the fun of doing the crime anymore.

So what's the solution? I don't know. Theoretically, DC could try to do what Marvel does with the Punisher. People always get mad when I say Jason is DC's Punisher, but he kills pretty much indiscriminately in UTRH and RHATO, for pretty much the same reasons. ("Dudebros think it looks cool.") And Marvel heroes inexplicably let Frank just kill however many people he wants unless they're appearing in a Punisher comic, at which point they go "Frank, you naughty boy, I shall stop you!" and then Frank kicks their ass and makes them look like an idiot. DC is never going to let Jason do that to Bruce, plus it would put a real damper on the Wayne family Thanksgiving dinner.

Alternately, they could make him a Nightwing villain. Dick has spent 40 years fighting inconclusively with Deathstroke; he's much better suited to go endless rounds with Jason without either of them Always Triumphantly Winning than Bruce is. I don't personally want this option because I just don't care that much about Dick, but it could be really interesting, though it would limit Jason to fewer appearances and primarily in Dick's book. (Jason would have made a superb Red Robin villain 15 years ago for similar reasons.)

My vote, I think, would be for a really good (god, if only), really thoughtful Jason series where he has reason to seriously reevaluate his philosophy towards crime - something that reshapes him into a character who can still challenge Bruce's entrenched ideas without being so diametrically opposed to them as to make him a villain. He needs to be close enough to Bruce's rules to appear in crossovers, but far enough and specific enough that he's not just Meaner Nightwing. Jason is a passionate character; DC needs to find a new way to let his passion work for him, because right now he doesn't have anything driving him, and it's satisfying no one.

(900 words, BOOM!)

[ssparksflyy]

percy x zeus!gf hcs pls!!! and could i request it to be more on the funny side and how percy and zeus have beef but also get along cuz of gf

ask and thou shall receive ༉‧₊˚.

percy jackson dating hcs ! ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

pairing: percy jackson x daughter of zeus!reader warning(s): little bit of swearing an: hi! ty for requesting <3 im literally not even funny but i hope u enjoy thissss! also theres a lotta taylor in this one 🤭

BIG REPUTATION BIG REPUTATION OHHH YOU AND ME WE GOT BIG REPUTATIONS AHHH

it doesnt matter if youre a social butterfly or antisocial, everybody knew you and percy before you even started dating

so best believe when you actually got together, everybody ( literally ) cheered

but your flirting era had to be on of the most painful things to watch

seriously doesnt matter if you got game or not, percy is literally oblivious and a LOSERRRRR

im so sorry but somebody had to say it

bro had THE BIGGEST crush on you and whenever he'd try to like compliment you itd usually sound a little weird

tell me why he'd probably say something like

"i like your outfit today! that shirt for sure looks better with those jeans than it did with the shorts you wore 2 weeks ago :)"

lil creep

cue silena crying in the corner because she made a bet with beckendorf and it is NOT looking good for her right now

WE NEVER GO OUT OF STYLE.

you guys are iconic

like well-known power couple

I'D be scared to train with you guys cause like what do you MEAN i gotta go against the best swordsmen at camp and the daughter of the king of the gods??

no thank you, i choose life ♡

when people are asked to think of a couple, they immediately think of you guys

everybody loves you guys for real

if you ever broke up ( which you wont, percy would probably just say "no" ) itd probably leave everybody super torn

ITD BE LIKE IN GILMORE GIRLS WHEN LORELAI AND LUKE BROKE UP AND THE WHOLE TOWN LIKE TOOK SIDES

if you havent watched gilmore girls, that basically sums the situation up. lorelai is literally like the town's sweetheart and luke is the owner of the most popular diner in their small town ♡ very cutesy

so sorry for the spoiler

SALLY LOVESSS YOU

she's literally so sweet and treats you as if you were her own child

she'd definitely bake cookies when you first meet and if you liked them, you best believe you are being sent back to camp with a baggie full of cookies

cant love you as much as percy does though !!

youre literally his queen

( sorry i say literally a lot )

he treats you like royaltyyyyy

always opening doors for you, walks you everywhere, follows the sidewalk rule, everything ♡

when its raining, he picks you up bridal style and takes you wherever you need to go, so you dont get your shoes wet ♡♡

yall literally live in the rain tho

neither of you leave your cabin with an umbrella, the rain just gives you life

AND I DONT KNOW WHY BUT WITH YOU ID DANCE IN A STORM IN MY BEST DRESS FEARLESS

one time, you went out for a fancy dinner, got dressed up all nice very fancy very fancy

BUT you BOTH forgot to check the weather

and it ended up POURING rain by the time you got out of the restaurant

and i kid you not

percy just grabs you by the hand, leads you out into the rain, and begins to dance with you.

no coverage, no music, no fucks given. just him and his girl.

he treasures that moment forever and ever

all the gods looked down at you from olympus and melted

neither of you care if you're disrespecting your fathers, you spend almost every night together ♡

percy is absolutely a big cuddler

literally just adores the feeling of you close to him

oh lord save him his drug is his baby he'll be using for the rest of his life

falling asleep together is so easy, you just melt into each other's touch

waking up is what's harder

neither of you want to leave the bed, and neither of you want the other person to leave the bed either.

percy's the typa guy to just have a sweet little conversation with you before he gets up for the day

you always get a good morning ( and a good night! ), then percy asks you what's on your schedule for the day ( as if he hasn't memorized it by now ), and what you wanted for breakfast that morning

he simply cannot get up without it

he's also the type of guy to just whisper sweet nothings into your ear if he wakes up before you ♡

he just goes on a little ramble about how pretty you look when your sleeping, even though you are sleeping while he's 'talking' to you

sorry where was i?

ZEUS.

the bastrard HATES percy and percy HATES the bastard

theyve literally been beefing since he was 12 years old

so best believe when zeus found out his daughter was dating this son of poseidon??? oo he was PISSEDDD.

poseidon is literally so chill with you. like he just cares that percy is happy. seriously doesn't care about who your dad is. if anything, he already sees you as family

zeus holds back everything in him to not kill percy on the spot every time you make out

he doesn't do it because he knows you'd probably walk to the underworld to get him back and hades would go feral if he got another orpheus & eurydice

percy gives zero fucks. he flips off the sky every time he walks outside

percy is so sweet and caring and kind and shows your father such respect like hes literally an angel 😇😇

i wouldn't say that he starts like actually respecting him, but he tries not to offend him as often as usual, just for you ♡

in the scenario that you'd have to make a trip to olympus, percy and zeus put on their big boy pants and try to tolerate each other

hera dont like you or percy bro she's literally just there

its okay though, you both despise her for kidnapping percy and wiping his memory ♡♡♡

JASON AND THALIA HOWEVER

thalia would definitely be the dramatic dad that zeus cant be (in person, at least)

whenever she and the hunters stay at camp she ( jokingly ) tells percy

"jackson, i want her home by NINE PEE EM. no later. i expect you won't be drinking, and you will be TAKING CARE OF HER. in the instance that i hear you DONT, i think you'll be taking a second trip across the river styx, you hear me?"

in like an sergeant voice and everything

percy plays along with it and salutes her going "yes ma'am!"

jason thinks you are so cute together

since you were at camp when the whole switcheroo thing happened, jason knew you first, and you were instantly best buddies

you told him about percy, and once he met him, he was happy to find out he was exactly like you described him

jason and thalia are ur #1 supporters ♡

in summary, alexa play that should be me

[fernandopiastri28]

tags: f2 alpine oscar x mark webber's daughter

warnings: daddy issues?? poor father-daughter relationship, jealousy

Anyone but webber - Oscar Piastri

Rule 2: Don't avoid your problems, face them

For the next few months, she finds just about every excuse to not see Oscar. She’ll leave the house if she knows Oscar is coming around, walk in the opposite direction of him if she sees him at the fair and few races she does attend, actively doesn’t follow him while still viewing each of his posts.

It’s anything to try and compress that crush on him, because lord knows if she does allow herself to openly like him like she wishes she could- it’ll end abysmally, likely in tears. Either she’ll find out Oscar feels quite literally nothing towards her, or her father will somehow get inbetween them, and it’ll just be awful and uncomfortable. 

That’s not to say she doesn’t miss their interactions though. Sometimes, her dad borderline forces her to talk to Oscar, and each time, it just feels so right. He’s so nice, and he’s funny, and he’s just everything. In any other situation, she would’ve made the first move a while ago- but it’s just not meant to be, and she knows that.

She hates when he waves at her from across the garage, or smiles at her while he’s deep in conversation with her dad, because it just makes everything harder on her. Her dad tries to bring up Oscar during their dinner talks around the table and she consistently shuts down the topic of him which leaves them in complete silence.

Because if Mark can’t talk about Oscar, he just won’t talk at all.

So by avoiding Oscar, she loses 2 people- Oscar himself, and her own father.

What a fucking shit situation. 

It’s a few months after the first initial dinner with the three of them that Oscar is invited over for a second one. After a lot of debating with herself, she decides not to stick around to see him. She makes up some excuse about having pre-existing plans to catch up with some friends from secondary school that she plans to tell her dad, until she realises he’s not going to care anyways. He doesn’t need a huge explanation for her, because if anything, he’ll be celebrating some time to talk on Oscar one on one, so she settles with just saying that she’ll be out for the night. 

When she does tell him, he gives her a tight smile, telling her to go have fun and to stay safe. She doesn’t hear the end of whatever he’s saying because she’s already out the door, and he doesn’t take notice to it anyways- too engrossed in his work.

As much as she’s bummed that she won’t be seeing Oscar tonight, she already knows that as long as her dad is around to be invested in their conversations- it’s not going to be anything overwhelmingly enjoyable for her.

Sure, he’s very pleasant to look at and is someone she definitely enjoys being around, she’d rather hangout with him if it’s just the two of them. If she’s given the option to tag along with the two men- she’ll just skip it. it’s enough to see him at the occasional races she tags along at, or the few times he appears on her explore page or timeline. 

Truly though if it was up to her, she’d gladly see him far more often- away from her father, and just able to speak to him for hours on end, but he simply doesn’t have the free time for that, nor would he likely want to, so she settles for pixels on a screen and his prerecorded voice.

Her night dies pretty young as the dinner with her friends ends earlier than expected, and she can’t really be bothered all too much to stay out drinking for much longer, so she signs off for the night and makes her way home. The living room lights are clearly still on as she stops in front of their house, which means her dad is still up.

If he’s still up, Oscar’s still here. Maybe, hopefully, her dad is all talked out and has retreated to bed by this point, leaving Oscar for her to talk to for a while, maybe. It’s an unlikely maybe though, because Mark Webber isn’t one for getting tired of talking, especially when the topic is Oscar or involves Oscar in some way.

Her key slips into the keyhole, rattling around a few times before the door clicks open. Sure enough, that familiar woody and peppery scent fills her senses, and the view of Oscar follows soon after. He looks so domestic, rugged up in a thick alpine hoodie. Differing shades of light and dark blue especially flattering his features. 

“Hey Oscar,” She leans against the door frame, slightly celebrating when she notices her dad isn’t present in the room. She kicks of her shoes, nudging them across the floor into the corner of the room.

“Hey Spider,” He grins, already using her nickname on their maybe 5th time meeting. She’s given up on telling him to not call her that, because at this point, it’s growing on. It’s so familiar, so intimate and endearing. 

“Mark told me you were out tonight, ended early?” Mark, it’s better than referring to him as ‘your dad’, it takes away some of the awkward shame she gets that she has a crush on her father’s employee. 

Because that still just feels a thousand degrees of wrong.

There’s a beer can right in front of him, dripping condensation onto their wooden table. There’s not a coaster in sight and she would bet a hundred dollars that Mark assured him it was fine if he just ‘leaves the drink there,’ and ‘don’t worry about a coaster’. Whereas she would’ve been scolded over and over for ‘ruining’ the wood. 

Oscar has about every privilege from Mark that she never gets. He can’t make a mistake in her dad’s eyes, but that’s all she ever does.

“Yeaaah, just feeling kinda tired” Her fingers clasp on the zipper of her jacket, pulling it down. She shrugs it off, hanging it on the hook on the back of the door. “Also figured I’d enjoy talking to you for a bit if you were still here,” 

When she looks back up at him, he’s holding a tight stare at her. He’s smiling a little, the corners of his pale lips twisted into a stupidly cute grin. “I’m honoured you’d choose me to talk to,” He shuffles around in the armchair, picking up the beer can just to have something to fiddle with. “I think your dad is upstairs, doing some organisational things for next season. Thought it was just gonna be me for a while- so,” He swallows, the muscles of his thick neck flexing hard, “Thanks for coming back early,” 

She takes a seat on the couch next to the chair he’s in, leaning towards him as her elbow rests on the arm of it. “I clearly just sensed you were lonely and tipsy,” She shrugs, watching him take a tensed sip of his beer. 

“Not tipsy, not tipsy at all,” He defends, shaking his head as he places it back down in front of him. “I’ve had about 3 sips over the course of 2 hour. Not a huge beer person, was more just to be polite to Mark,” His cheeks are decorated in a rosy flush, either from the cold or, the beer- or most hopefully, from speaking to her.

She’s often too hopeful for her own good.

“I’ll finish it for you if you really don’t want it,” She offers, watching him slide it towards her almost instantaneously. “Thanks,” It’s warmer than she’d usually like to drink beer, but the especially warm feeling on the spout where his lips had previously been sends stupid, lovestick excitement through her already slightly inebriated body. 

It’s kind of like they’re kissing, kinda.

God, that’s such a childish crush thought.

His mouth open slightly to allow his tongue to nudge out, dampening his lips, “Where’d you go tonight?” He asks, his fingers nudging into the ridges of a throw pillow under his arm, distracting his hands now that he doesn’t have the can for that.

“Just some bar,” Her tongue rolls around along the inside of her cheek, an oral fixation to keep her occupied. “Nothing fancy or anything, probably more boring than your night,” He flushes at her tease, his jaw pushing forward to conceal the grin on his face somewhat.

“I doubt that. I love racing, but the actual logistics of everything I have to do, that's not actually just driving… not as glamorous.” He purses his lips, his teeth gritting like he’s desperately trying to think something through. “I was sorta hoping you’d be here tonight,” 

It sets off fireworks in her stomach, a burning sensation from her scalp down to the tips of her toes. It’s like finding out your middle school crush likes you back, or kissing some cute boy during a game of spin the bottle. It’s not much, just a casual and meaningless arrangement or words, yet it’s enough to get her all flustered and awkward. 

“I came home early just to see you, if that means anything,” She pours the rest of the liquid courage down her throat, gagging at the lukewarm bitterness. It tastes awful, but anything to get her to force that confession out into the world is worth it. 

He doesn’t reply for a few moments, just stares blankly ahead at her. His eyes seem to burn holes into her, like he can see past the confident facade she puts up. Like he sees her. She’s not his boss's daughter, she’s not some paddock girl, she’s.. she’s her own person. 

In the seconds following, Oscar’s gaze doesn’t falter once. There’s a moment where if feels like nothing in the world exists outside of the cozy living room, that they’re completely isolated from anything beyond themselves. 

It’s strange to think her dad and his boss is quite literally tapping away on a computer upstairs, just out of ears reach.

Her lips feel awkwardly dry, so she fumbles around with her hand in her pocket, grabbing out a lipbalm. She smears it across her mouth, just staring at Oscar as he looks back at her. They don’t say a word, not sure where to go from here. There’s not necessarily any regret she feels from what she said to him, but it would be a whole lot easier if he would just say something in response.

After what feels like an eternity, he finally breaks the silence, his voice soft and a little hesitant. “It does,” He nods, that stupidly endearing little smirk on his face. He’s just so stupid, stupidly perfect, stupidly cute, stupidly not allowed to be hers. “It does mean something,”

His smile widens, his bunny teeth just slightly more apparent. She thinks they’re just about the cutest thing about him. “I’m glad you came back, I was hoping we’d finally get the chance to talk,” He gestures vaguely with his hands, and she’s come to notice how charasmatic he is with his hand movements when he’s speaking, “You know, outside of the racing scene.” 

He pauses for a moment, his words stuck on the end of his tongue, “Without your dad around,” 

This is a moment she’s forced herself not to think about ever since the first time she properly met Oscar. She’s forced her crush on him to the deepest depths of herself for so long. So now that it’s happening, she doesn’t know what she’s supposed to do. Does she lean in? does she kiss him? Who makes the first move?

Those questions stop as before another one can procure in her mind, Oscar’s stood up from his chair and moved onto the couch. The space between them isn’t even the smallest it’s ever been, but, god, he feels so close.

Oscar’s eyes flicker down to her lips for a moment, and she’s so grateful she put on that lipbalm on just before this. She wonders what his lips would look like if they kissed, if her pink and glossy lipbalm would get on his lips- hard cold evidence of what they did together.

 Her breath catches in her throat as his eyes meet hers once again, “What happens next?” His voice is low, like they’re sharing a secret. It is in a way, no one can ever know about this. It’s going to be their precious little secret, something they’ll smile about when their eyes meet in the paddock, that they’ll get rosy cheeked over at dinner when their fingertips touch. 

The words are on the very tip of her tongue, ‘just kiss me’, her brain is begging her to just get out with it, blurt it out. There’s something in the way he’s looking at her, verging on depraved, like he’s waiting for her to be the one to make the first move.

She bites the bullet, taking control over the situation, “I think we stop pretending this is just friendly,” She conceals the shake in her voice, “And we stop worrying about my dad being a factor in this,”

Oscar’s eyes light up at her words, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips.  It’s like he’s been waiting for her to say that, and now that she has, there’s no turning back. “I like that idea,” he leans in closer, his breath warm against her cheek.

last chapter, next chapter

sorry for the cliffhanger!! but i hope u guys liked this chapter and i've already started chapter3, so you wont be waiting too long

taglist: @prettiest-at-the-party, @forza-charles, @sltwins, @sweetwh0re, @lucktales

[whipped-for-kpop-fics]

There's a snake in my pants - K.MG

🤠Who; Kim Mingyu (Seventeen) x gender-neutral reader 🤠What; Crack/humour. Some fluff. Established relationship. Himbo Mingyu! [I love himbo Gyu] 🤠Word count; 2.3k 🤠Warnings; Profanity. Critter mentions (literally the word critter plus snake but uhhh not the animal). Misuse of a lasso, bad Mingyu, but it's funny dw. And no one gets hurt. Mentions of pervert/voyeur Wonwoo but it's not plot relevant. Very suggestive in general but no smut or actual sexual actions. Reader wears lingerie.

Although there isn't any smut, this is definitely an 18+ fic so Minors do NOT interact. I WILL block any account that interacts without an age indicator in the bio.

Summary; Your boyfriend wants to try a new sexy roleplay idea, it doesn't go well.

-2024 Masterlist-

A/N- This goes out to @ourdawnishotterthanourday , I hope you enjoy reading this as if you don't already know exactly what's going to happen anyway from my screaming about the himbo cowboy collective (omg series idea???) Thank you for encouraging me to live my best crack life, sweetheart 💖 And big thank you to @wonuvs for helping me so much with the header, I know it must've been hard to look at shirtless Mingyu so much 💖

Approximately twenty minutes ago, your lovable idiot of a boyfriend told you to go and wait on your bed for him, gave you a wink then skipped off with an excited giggle. Which, cute, yes, but also very very worrying.

As much as you adore Mingyu, you are very aware that he has some rather questionable ideas in general, what with him being what you would call a Class A Himbo; and unfortunately, he has brought those questionable ideas into the bedroom on more than one occasion. There is now a strict rule about no balloons in the bedroom and likely not for the reason you think.

So although you do go to your shared room and get dressed down in a lingerie set you know that he likes, you truly can't say that you exactly have high hopes for whatever your boyfriend has planned.

When the door creaks open, you're confused because all you see is Mingyu's hand appearing from one side to nudge the door open as wide as it can go. It takes a few pushes of his fingers before the door does actually swing open and then his arm darts back. A second later, Mingyu gallops into view and you don't know if you want to laugh or mentally log out more.

Because gallop isn't even an inaccurate description of the way he enters. Like a child pretending to play cowboys with one of those long wooden poles with the plush horse's heads set on one end with attached reigns. You can't tell if the fact he has one of those children's toy horses makes it worse or not. You can't even admire the way his thick thighs, showcased by just the tiny pair of boxer briefs he's wearing, are pressed tight around either side of the thick wooden pole to keep it upright with both of his hands barely fitting on the tiny little loop of faux-leather that makes up the reigns.

All Mingyu is wearing are those tiny little dark boxers that don't even fully cover his asscheeks, a cowboy hat and cowboy boots. Oh, and there's some thin dark rope looped diagonally over his bare chest. That can't be good.

"Howdy partner." Mingyu starts, entirely serious in his roleplay and doing his best to put on the 'cowboy voice' you know that he and his friends have been practising together to be 'real cowboys'.

Even though you're still trying to figure out exactly how you feel about this particular roleplay choice of your boyfriend, you can't help but at least humour him. He's far too cute and sweet in general to not try, at the very least, to play along. "Howdy, cowboy," You reply, a little dumbstruck yet Mingyu lights up brightly all the same.

He wiggles slightly in excitement, forgetting himself a little in his joy, then remembers he's supposed to be a 'sexy, serious cowboy-man' and schools his expression. He doesn't even notice the amused twitch of your lips at his slip. "I'm new to town and I hear you're the person to come to when there's trouble."

"Oh, there's trouble, is there?" You hum and shuffle to sit up against the headboard. You're internally very relieved when he removes the horse and props it against the wall. It's much easier to take him seriously when he's standing there in all his ridiculously handsome glory.

"Yes, ma'am." Oh, you could get used to him saying those words in that voice, pitched slightly lower than normal and a little rough. Maybe their 'cowboy meetings' have been more successful than you've realised. Because Mingyu, nor his friends, have improved very much in the actual horse riding aspect of being a modern-day cowboy. But at least the voice is getting good.

"Sounds serious."

"It is." He steps a little closer, hands on his hips and you can't tell if it's intentional or not but it draws your eyes to his crotch in those tiny boxers leaving nothing to the imagination. Not that you need to imagine what he's packing underneath when he's always so willing to let you see, and feel, and taste. "Do you think you can help a cowboy out, ma'am?"

"Keep calling me ma'am and it sounds pretty likely." You mutter and lift your gaze back up to his face. He's smirking at you now, well aware of how much you love his body. "Tell me, what's the issue, cowboy?"

"Well, you see, it involves a certain critter," You try not to giggle at him using the term critter, you can't help it when all you can think of is the endearing way he and his friends will call any living animal or insect critter; often in a loud screech when a bug flies too close to them.

"Ooh, I see. You have a critter problem."

"That I do, ma'am."

"And a big strong cowboy like you can't handle a single critter?"

"I'm more skilled with the bigger critters."

"So this critter is small?" You wonder how many times the two of you will use the term critter, it really does not help set the mood, just amuses you honestly. This situation has already devolved in your mind and Mingyu hasn't even noticed, he's still very serious about his big-boy cowboy role-play.

"Yes," His face drops. "Wait, no! It's not." He pouts a little, barely a little protrusion of his bottom lip.

"So it's not big enough for you to handle yourself, but it's not small?" He nods and slips back into character. "How big is it exactly?"

"Big enough." You think you understand what he's trying to do here. But you're willing to let it play out at least.

"Okay, give it to me."

"Give it to you?" His eyes round out a little with the excitement those words bring him.

"I mean, tell me what it is." You correct and try not to giggle at the disappointed little oh he lets out, understanding the miscommunication there.

Though, once again, he gets right back into character and locks his serious, sultry gaze on you as the tips of his thumbs hook into the waistband of his boxers without removing his hands from his hips. "There's a snake in my pants." Yup, that's about exactly where you thought he was going with this.

"I can't believe you've defiled my childhood like that, Mingyu." You deadpan, unimpressed. His arms drop along with his expression.

"What? What did I do wrong? It's just a line!" He whines. "Wonwoo taught it to me!"

"Wonwoo?" You sigh. "Baby, what have I told you about listening to Wonwoo where sex is involved?"

"That he's wrong that sitting in the tree outside our window with binoculars isn't a natural biology lesson no matter if he takes notes." He replies in very much the tone of a man who has had those very words drilled into him many times.

"I…well yes, that is a very good one, thank you for remembering." Mingyu perks up a little at your approving response. "But that's not what I meant."

"Uhm," He thinks hard. "That he's wrong that you have to bark during doggy style." That particular memory sends shivers down your spine, you had hoped to forget it.

"Also very correct and please don't bring that up again."

"I'm sorry, I really thought he knew what he was talking about!" Mingyu defends quickly. "He's so smart, baby!"

"Uh," You don't know how to respond. Wonwoo is not smart, he may look scholarly with his glasses and cardigans when he's lounging around, but he is, like your boyfriend, just another pretty himbo. All four of the group are and you still can't tell who's the worst of them. Still, you adore the four and would never change a thing about any of them, even if their dumbassery has caused a lot of trouble since they moved to town. So you move on. "The point is, Gyu, you shouldn't listen to Wonwoo's sex advice, ever. Remember that?"

"Oh, right, yeah, you've said that before." He nods slowly in understanding, looking kind of dejectedly down at the bedframe. He looks like a scolded puppy, it pulls your heartstrings enough to want to try and salvage the situation.

"Was this whole roleplay Wonwoo's idea?" You wonder. Mingyu looks up at you and shakes his head, lips pouted cutely at you and eyes big. "Yours?"

"Yeah. And Seungcheol's. You've never told me not to take sex advice from him!"

Okay, you have to admit, Seungcheol is probably the only one from Mingyu's three besties that you think would give pretty decent sex advice, you know he at least has active ongoing experience with a friend of your own and they've always sung his praises. Wonwoo is…well nobody knows for sure if Wonwoo has ever actually had sex. He kind of gives off horny virgin energy, honestly whenever sexual conversations come up but he's always been pretty smooth when flirting so it could go either way. And the fourth of their group is precious, naive Seokmin; you know he has experience himself but he's a very sweet guy and always seems scandalised when anything out of vanilla is mentioned.

"Okay, then I'm willing to pick this back up if you really want to try it, sweetheart."

"I do!" Mingyu beams and suddenly looks as if you've offered him the world on a silver platter, drizzled in sweet syrup ready for him to slurp up. Oh, does that remind you of another one of his slightly less questionable bedroom surprises. But that's an entirely different story. "Okay, okay," Mingyu takes a few breaths to calm his visible joy, it's so cute watching him bring his hands up as he inhales deeply then turn and push them palms downwards to the floor as he exhales.

He may have some very odd ideas, but man, did you score an adorable sweetheart of a boyfriend who you hope will never change and always remain this way. You've not even been together that long, just a handful of months really, but you're pretty sure he's it for you. Your forever. The one you want to spend the rest of your life with.

When he's collected himself, he turns back to you and decides to entirely bypass the whole snake in his pants section, wisely so you think, and starts to remove the ropes from around his torso. He only knocks his hat off twice, though you barely notice because now all you can think about is the fact that it seems like you won't be the one to have to bring up bondage.

While you're wondering if your big beefy boyfriend is about to hogtie you and have his way with you, Mingyu gathers the long rope in his right hand and then takes one end into his left. It's then that you notice the very distinct large loop in one end.

Horror spreads through your body as you realise that Kim Mingyu has brought a fucking lasso into the bedroom. "Gyu-" You start in warning yet he's already pulling his arm back and launching the rope in your general direction. You yelp automatically, expecting to get hit in the face, yet it doesn't touch you. There's a loud crash on your right so you look over only to find that the only remaining one of the pair of bedside lamps is now in pieces on the hardwood flooring, the loop of Mingyu's lasso caught around the shade. It's like the balloon incident all over again. And now you have no bedside lamps, thanks to Kim Mingyu.

There's pure silence for a tense few seconds as you both stare dumbly at the mess on the floor.

Mingyu's whisper breaks the silence "Fuck." And then you burst into howling laughter. "Babe!" He whines but you can't stop, toppling over onto your side on the bed with the power of your laughs.

The whole situation has been a mess from start to finish. It's a miracle you lasted this long without some kind of breakdown. You're just glad it's the laughing kind and not the mental kind.

It takes a minute of poutily grumbling about working him hard on the scenario, learning how to tie a lasso knot and modelling endless hats and boots for his friends so they can help him pick the right ones before the humour of it all actually hits Mingyu.

It starts with a little giggle and then he looks between you and the broken lamp a few times and has to flop across the bed as he laughs along with you, uncaring that his hat falls off.

Slowly, both of you stop laughing and calm enough to look at each other. You're still grinning like fools and there are tear tracks down your cheeks from it, but you're happy. He's happy. That's all that matters.

Mingyu shuffles over to you in a manner that makes giggles bubble out of your throat until he's on his side close enough to lean in and press a soft kiss to your lips. "I love you," He informs gently when he pulls back to look adoringly into your eyes. Your expression softens and quickly melts into the mirror of his own as you brush your fingertips over his cheek.

"I love you too." You reply, smiling as he lays his hand over the back of yours to hold it in place as he turns his head to kiss your palm, planting his love right there where you can keep it safe for as long as you want to. And then he looks back at you and holds your palm to his cheek. "Just no more lassos in the bedroom,"

Mingyu laughs and nods in agreement. "No more lassos in the bedroom."

"House in general. Indoors. No lassos indoors."

"Okay, baby," He giggles and kisses you once more sweetly before getting up and picking his hat up off the mattress to plop on your head when you sit up. You adjust it so that you can watch as he crouches down beside the broken lamp to begin cleaning up the mess you made. And as you watch him, there's only one thought on your mind.

Yeah, he really is it for you.

A/N- Believe it or not, the original idea that caused this one has a much higher crack content and I may have to write that too. This story can be considered a spin-off of that, or one in the collection of the same universe focused on the 4 himbos and their adventures.

[wander-lustrous]

germanics as bfs

part 1

ft. germany, prussia, austria, switzerland

germany // ludwig beilschmidt.

- This man struggles to settle down in a committed relationship, preferring flings and quick one-night stands. It's not because he's against it, but rather he thinks it's hard to find someone to accommodate his… specific tastes in the bedroom; plus he's so busy he can't imagine fitting a partner into his life. But once he has a partner, he is SO committed. Like planning-your-one-year-anniversary-getaway-a-month-into-the-relationship kind of committed. He tries not to go overboard with it, but he does enjoy thinking about hitting these milestones.

- Ironically he ends up getting in relationship with friends, his coworkers, people he spends the most time around with, most likely in a work setting. He’s a stickler for the rules though, which makes him hesitant to blur the boundaries between work and his personal life. However, once he starts really noticing this person--maybe the way they're always dressed nice, or hardworking, or always has a smile for him--he's fucked. They invade his thoughts at the most random moments, and it makes him want to avoid them. Thankfully he has friends (cough Italy cough) who notice his little crush and persuade him to do something about it.

- Please don’t even mention wanting to get fit to this man. He goes overboard, devising a workout plan, a nutrition regimen, etc. He can be a bit draconic with it too, wanting to push you to be your best.

- While he's not the most emotionally available partner, he is the most reliable. If you complain that your heater not working, he's fixed it by the next day. If you're nervous about approaching your boss about an issue, he suggests you practice with him. If you're sick, he's getting you all the Vitamin C packets, soup, and tissues he can find, stocking you up with them before leaving for work.

-He's rather touch-starved, so he appreciates a partner who is more tactile. He loves when they hug him from behind, or let him rest his head on their lap and card their fingers through his hair. It's the one moment where he doesn't feel like he has to be quite so uptight.

prussia // gilbert beilschmidt.

- He is so the type to be in a friends with benefits situation. He's pretty clueless about romance. 💀 Or not clueless, but... willfully ignorant. He’s more likely to fall into a relationship by being buddies with someone, then sleeping with them, and a few months in realizing oh shit. He actually really likes them. Like more than as a bro.

- Gilbert is nothing if not crafty, so he wants to figure out what you think of him first. He asks around--your friends, other nations, etc. If you ever talk about him, if they know if you're dating someone else, etc. It's so funny because it's painfully obvious to everyone else that he has a thing for you. In fact, Gilbert is possibly the last person to realize you two are a thing...

- He is actually very easy to please. Just praise him. He’s used to hyping himself up to make sure no one forget him. It means the world when someone genuinely thinks he’s great or awesome. A sure fire way to get him emotional is if you cancel plans with your friends to hang out with him. Of course he’s old and he wants you to go have fun! To live a little. But saying that he’s exactly your kind of fun is enough to have him getting a misty-eyed before hurriedly saying that it’s allergies or something.

- He's a very fun boyfriend. He's never quite let go of his childish side. He is very much the type to make pillow forts with you and/or play co-op with you video games. For movie nights, he enjoys picking movies that he thinks will scare you so you'll end up clinging to him, asking him to protect you. The reality is, if anything he is the one getting more disturbed by the kinds of movies they put out nowadays, more than you do. 💀

- In public, he's definitely walking around with an arm around your shoulder. He's just so excited that everyone will know he has such a smoking hot partner.

-You know what, Gilbert is surprisingly good at comforting you. Part of it is experience, but if you're upset, he's not letting it go. He'll keep pestering you to open up to him. And when you finally do, he'll hug you to him, stroking your hair and calling you affectionate nicknames while reassuring you that as your great boyfriend, he'll certainly deal with any of your problems...

austria // roderich edelstein.

- He composes songs about you. He can get quite in a tizzy due to his perfectionist streak, appearing visibly agitated if the song isn’t going exactly how he wants it to.

- He is a strong believer in having dinner together if you’re living together! he thinks it’s a good habit to get into.

- Roderich is actually quite sweet. He sends you good morning and good night texts, and always texts you throughout the day on your lunch breaks, etc., asking how certain appointments or events went in your life.

- Roderich is a fan of appearances, and he is definitely getting you several high-quality Swarovski gifts. It doesn't matter that he's secretly a cheapskate who patches holes in his underwear--he wants you to only have the finest.

- Do you know those people who flirt via critiquing you? That's Roderich. With you, he's never actually cruel though.

-He is the perfect gentleman when dating you. Always pulling out the chair for you, paying for you, etc.

-He likes receiving massages from his partner. He's also a fan of relaxing in the tub, with scented oils and incense.

- He likes people who are quick-witted, fast enough to catch onto his sarcasm.

- He enjoys taking you to the opera, or to see plays or theater performances. He feels like the arts are not nearly as important as they once were.

- One of his favorite hobbies is to people watch with you. The two of you will sit down at a cafe, have some tea, and just make observations about the people around you. For him sometimes it’s great inspo for music. Other times it’s just great fodder for gossip lol.

switzerland // vash zwingli.

- His love language is definitely acts of service and gift-giving. He likes making you gifts or bringing you gifts his country specializes in. Watches, chocolates, etc.

- Of course you’re going to have to have annual trips to the Alps. He’ll do his best to teach you how to ski, but he’s not exactly the patient… he’ll be damned before Italy or that damn France try and teach you though.

- On the rare occasions he goes out to eat, he likes to get fondue. He thinks it’s somewhat intimate to eat with another.

- When he gets drunk, he’s actually kind of a sloppy drunk. He never really gets drunk though; he can hold his beers. He also tends to be the one to keep things together if you get too tipsy. He wants to ensure he can take care of you.

- He is very impartial, so if you want an honest opinion he’ll give it to you. Even if you’re his partner, he will call you out on your behavior as a neutral third-party💀 In his opinion it’s more important for you to grow than for him to coddle you.

- He has such a hard time with letting people know you’re dating. He doesn’t like other people getting in his business; he prefers his privacy. At first, he refers to you as a business partner, then as Lily’s friend, and then as his friend… and then eventually, when he sees another nation flirting with you, he decides it’s time to make it clear you’re taken for, and wraps a protective arm around your waist.

- He likes giving forehead kisses. Sometimes regular kisses feel almost too intimate for him. Plus when you make eye contact after ending a kiss… he gets a bit flustered. He likes that a forehead kiss is quick and easy but does the job. It’s… efficient even.

- He would definitely teach you how to shoot if you were up for it. He wants you to be able to defend yourself.

- The biggest indicator of whether you two will last in a relationship is if you get along with Lily and treat her like your own little sister. If not, Vash doesn’t see this relationship progressing and will cut things off.