#which is fine but they can’t HANDLE that I simply DONT like it

[whiskeyswifty]

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[amaryllisblackthorn]

MAJOR chain of thorns spoilers !!!

[[ negative thoughts under the readmore about a particularly topic ]]

i also cannot help but feel as though chain of gold did a better job at handling christopher's potential death when he was poisoned than chain of thorns did with christopher's actual death

like, yeah christopher died right when everyone didn't have time to afford to like properly mourn or grieve and they had to take action but like. still.

and i think part of it, for me at least, is that while we get bits of like, thomas grieving it's from an outside perspective and never iirc in his own point of view??? like, there's when he first finds out of course, and then you get i think cordelia remarking in her pov that thomas lost both his sister and basically brother in a year, and that he was the last of the merry thieves currently and he must be feeling so lonely etc but from what i recall we never get thomas' feelings and thoughts regarding these things when we're in his pov???? and yeah there are 'more important things' to focus on re: the watchers and stuff but it makes christopher's death feel empty and as a result unnecessary. it feels like the same story beats could have been accomplished by christopher being severely poisoned and like comatosed, while the adults are all unaccessible in Idris which worsen his odds or something. he's still taken out of commission and the stakes are still heightened.

maybe i would have taken his death better if he was immediately still or something after he's hit instead of i think lucie hearing him say afterwards,that he was fine, because iirc the actual moment he was hit came off as like significant and i thought he died but then it was like 'oh his shoulder's just hurt! he's just injured! dw we'll just be out of the way bc of his injury' and then it's like 'oh actually he's dead now'. i think that 'false hope' just made his sudden death feel kind of cheap to me, for lack of a better word, and contributed to his death feeling unnecessary. maybe his death would have felt at least a little bit 'better' to me if it wasn't for that, bc otherwise it came off less of a 'this is war and people die' situation and more of a 'he is dead simply for shock value' situation. like i get, in-universe, christopher saying he’s fine when he’s not but the way it played out, as a reader, was unsatisfying to me.

like, the doylist reason for his death is that one of the merry thieves had to die for ""realism"" sake but like. it shouldnt come off as that obviously being the reason when you're reading, you know? and at the very least it should be given the weight and respect it deserves ?? as it is it feels like christopher was killed off for shock value and bc 'well one of them has to die and christopher is the easiest one to get rid of' and everyone's like 'oh no! well we can't dwell on that rn' and then they just never dwell on it, and it just makes his death feel empty and unnecessary and it has me feeling sour ngl

and maybe im an unrealistic idealist who feels like none of the main kids had to die! but if they did i’d imagine their death having more weight and presence in the story after it’s happened !

like, i feel if it was matthew who died, there'd've been more dedicated to it. granted, he's james' parabatai . but still. i feel like if even thomas had died, there still would've been more.

thomas and christopher had such a close bond that we got to see in the other two books and the lack of thomas' feelings from his own perspective just feels wrong. i dont care if theyre shadowhunters and needed to focus on battle and the bigger picture. and i know that thomas especially tries to cope with grief by action. and maybe it's supposed to signify everyone's maturity in this book with their reactions vs back in chain of gold. but it still comes off as significantly unsatisfying. imo.

outside of the scene where thomas finds christopher is dead, and outside the brief moments of anna coming off as reckless/wanting to fight the watchers in anger bc of kit, a lot of the christopher grief came off sort of like ‘telling not showing’ if that makes sense??? 

not to mention that i like personally really dislike when a character survives something where death was like a legit real possibility to then just die later on, especially when it comes off as just killing someone for shock value and/or to signify that ““things are serious now””. you can claim that their surviving is 'false security' and spin it as subversion or whatever but. i just dont like it. i never like it, whether it's in book series or tv shows, except i guess cases where it's just done well and makes sense and is thematically satisfying. so like, christopher dying after being poisoned and in danger of dying back in chain of gold and surviving also has me feel dissatisfied. especially because his death came off as “well someone had to die” and the aftermath of it was so neglected and it just felt so unnecessary and im just really sour about it.

a lot of this is ramble-y and all over the place and i dont even know if i got out all that i wanted to in regards to my feelings and thoughts about the topic but. yeah.

[jamesbuchananxsteviegrant]

I Pick the TV Show, Rogers Shuts His Cake-Hole | Bucky x Steve x Reader (Angst, Fluff)

Category: Angst, Fluff (Suggested) Age: 14+ Trigger Warnings: none, other than the standard explicit language Ship: Bucky x Steve x Reader Summary: Steve Snaps At Reader When He’s Stressed, Resulting In Her Being Very Upset Request: "can u write where steve/bucky is overwhelmed with something and when reader asks to help or is telling them to relax they snap at reader and reader is hurt which makes them feel really bad afterwards. thank you sm. i love ur writings. and this is anon right? is it alright if u dont post my response if its not anon? im sorry. thank you so much. ur blog always pictures great stucky imagines. 💗💗💗" Contains Spoilers for: N/A Word Count: 2,488

---

A given, the super-soldier had been on nonstop missions for the last month or so, but she thought she was helping him feel better, not making him feel worse.

“Would you like anything to eat, Stevie? You’ve barely moved all day.” (Y/N)’s voice is small. Quiet.

She’s leaning through the door of his study where he’s sat putting together his mission reports from the last three or four missions he’s been out on.

He shakes his head but doesn’t even turn to look at her.

Sighing, the woman walks further into the room where her boyfriend is slouched over the desk.

“You gotta take a break, Stevie.” She whispers, resting her hands on his shoulders.

She notices the way they tense up, but he still remains silent.

His fingers continue to write up his report on the laptop.

“I’m worried about you, Stevie; talk to me.”

“I’m busy, (Y/N).”

“I know you are, baby, but you’ve gotta look after yourself too.” She attempts, leaning down to press a kiss to his cheek. He pulls away.

The woman furrows her brows.

“Steve, please, you’ve got to-”

“(Y/N), just stop!”

The shout is sudden and it makes her flinch back away from the man as he turns to face her.

“I’m fine, alright?! I don’t need you babying me all the time!”

She doesn’t respond for a second, surprised at her lover’s outburst.

He says nothing more, simply turns back to the laptop and continues typing away.

“Steve, look how stressed you are. Can you please just-”

“STOP! Okay?! Just stop! Leave me the fuck alone while I finish these neverending mission reports. For once in your life can you just understand that not everything is about you?!”

(Y/N) swears that being shot in the heart wouldn’t hurt half as much as the words that just came out of the man’s mouth.

Her mouth opens and closes as if searching for the right words to say, but that hurt.

Is she really that bad? Is that the truth behind all of this? That she’s clingy? Thinks everything is about her? That was never her intention. (Y/N) is well aware of how important being an Avenger is. Hell, she is an Avenger, for Christ’s sakes.

She says nothing more and leaves the room.

She can’t even decide if she feels sad. No. She’s not sad, she’s not angry, she’s not… anything.

Numb.

Naturally, her feet lead her to their room. Steve’s room. They all basically share the super soldier’s abode since they all got together, but right now she doesn’t dare open the door.

Doing a full one-eighty spin, (Y/N) takes herself back to a place she barely touches anymore. Her room.

It’s pretty empty. Most of her clothes are in Steve’s room, in her own walk-in wardrobe. Her bed is perfectly made from the last time she slept in here - maybe a year ago?

The woman walks around her bed and straight onto her bedroom balcony, overlooking the lake at the back of the compound, and stays there. For three-hours. Until Bucky comes looking for her.

He came home from his mission about thirty-minutes ago only to find their shared room of Steve’s empty. He searched just about everywhere, completely clueless.

“FRIDAY, where’s (Y/N) and Steve?” He finally gives in.

“Captain Rogers is in study five, and Agent (L/N) is in her private quarters.”

Now that makes the brunet furrow his brows.

Why would (Y/N) be in her room and not his or Steve’s?

He prioritises finding (Y/N) first, knowing Steve will be writing up mission reports, no doubt.

Despite them being together for over six-years now, he hesitates when reaching for the handle of her bedroom door. Instead, the man opts to knock.

No answer.

“(Y/N)?” Nothing. “Doll, it’s me; can I come in?” Nothing.

Bucky tries the door handle and finds it unlocked, yet still hesitates.

“Baby?” He calls out. Again, nothing.

He’s cautious now. Scared.

Her room looks as untouched as the last time he saw it, which was a few months back when she was after one of her plushies.

“(Y/N)?”

It’s when he feels the chill of the midnight winds ruffle his hair that he realises her balcony doors aren’t fully closed.

Striding straight over, his eyes widen at the sight of his girlfriend curled up in the corner of the outdoor area, crying.

“(Y/N), baby, hey, what’s wrong?!”

Bucky immediately drops to his knees in front of the woman, reaching for her hands and gently tugging them away from her tear-stained face.

“(Y/N), doll, look at me.” His voice is gentle. Soothing.

She does almost instantly but her sadness stays.

“What happened, baby? Are you hurt?”

The fear and sincerity in his voice is enough to prompt the woman to shake her head. Yes, she’s hurting emotionally, but he needs confirmation that she’s not dying.

The woman immediately sees the relief take over his features, but he’s still concerned.

“What’s wrong, doll?”

Her eyes stray away from his, not wanting to tell him what’s got her so upset.

“Hey, no, look at me, baby,” He whispers, hand lightly grasping at her chin to raise her face back up to his. “What’s got you so worked up, (Y/N)?”

Another shake of her head as she tries to escape her lover’s hold.

“Baby, please, you’re scaring me.”

Her face contorts into something close to heartbreak as she wants nothing more than to reassure the man in front of her.

“It’s okay, Buck.”

“It’s not okay! Doll, I haven’t seen you cry since Stevie nearly died on that mission in Ohio like two-years-ago! Talk to me.”

She takes a deep breath and wipes her face of the shedding tears.

“Do you want me to get Stevie?”

The question is innocent and makes sense, but her eyes widen and she shakes her head desperately.

“No! No, please, no.”

That truly makes the super soldier concerned.

“Doll, please can you tell me what’s happened?”

Never in the last eight-years that Bucky and (Y/N) have known each other has she been so reluctant to see Steve.

Another sob escapes her and it’s breaking his heart.

“Baby, please.”

“Steve got mad at me, alright?!” She manages an attempted shout. “I just wanted him to look after himself.”

“What happened? What did Steve do?”

He’s concerned. Massively.

“I was trying to get him to eat; he hasn’t eaten properly in so long. He’s so overworked and he’s hung up on all these mission reports. He told me that not everything was about me - shouted at me; told me to stop.” She’s whimpering and sniffling again now. “Please get him to eat something, James.”

That last sentence is the one that crushes him. She’s upset, yeah, but above all that, she’s still worried about the blond super soldier.

“Come on, baby, let’s go to our room and get into bed, yeah? I’ll go and speak to Stevie.”

Her eyes meet his and she looks scared, but the ocean blue gaze that he returns makes her bound to his every command.

The woman nods.

“Okay.”

“That’s my girl.”

With the help of the Winter Soldier, (Y/N) manages to stand up, letting him lead her out of her private room and into their shared one of Steve’s.

“Here, let’s get you into your PJs, yeah?”

He doesn’t leave room for negotiation as he helps his girlfriend strip out of her casual dress and into one of his oversized t-shirts.

“You get snuggled up in bed, doll. I’m going to go and get Stevie, okay?”

He hates how she looks nervous at the mention of their other lover’s name.

“He loves you more than words can describe, baby girl, I promise you. He shouldn’t have lashed out at you, I’m gonna talk to him, okay?”

A hesitant nod and forced smile is enough for now.

“I’ll be back shortly, I promise.” He leans over and gives the woman a kiss on the lips, leaving her with one of her favourite shows playing on the TV.

“Bucky,” Her choked up voice calls out just before he leaves.

The man turns from his place in the doorway.

“I love you.”

The smile that takes over his expression is contagious.

“I love you too, baby girl. More than anything.”

Despite his reassurance to the woman, he’s pretty damn pissed for a number of reasons about Steve losing his cool with their girl. Reason number one being, how dare he? Reason number two being, he knows better than to overwork, yet here we are.

Bucky doesn’t even knock once he approaches the glass doors of the study where Steve is sat typing away on the laptop.

The blond doesn’t even glance up to see who entered. He barely heard the door open which enrages Bucky further.

The brunet slams the lid of the laptop shut without saying a word, prompting Steve’s head to shoot up, glaring daggers at whoever has interrupted him.

“What the fuck, James?!”

That makes Bucky really get annoyed.

“Are you serious right now, Rogers?”

“I’m in the middle of about seven different mission reports, Buck, I’ve gotta finish them.” The man sighs, going to open the lid of the PC once more, only for Bucky to hold it down. “James, seriously,”

“No. What you need to do is explain to me why our girlfriend has been crying for the last God-knows how many hours?”

That makes Steve snap back to reality.

“What? (Y/N) has been crying? Is she okay?”

Bucky literally rolls his eyes at that.

“Are you fucking serious, Steve?” He repeats, Steve looking confused, expression contorting as he realises that his boyfriend is seriously angry at him.

“Bucky, what’s wrong? What’s happened?”

The Winter Soldier’s head lolls back as he groans in frustration.

“You seriously have no idea?” He asks, rhetorically, watching Steve look almost scared. “Do you often shout at your girlfriend and forget it happened?”

Cap’s eyes widen at that, and he visibly gulps.

“What?”

“She came in here to make sure you were looking after yourself, which you weren’t, by the way, and you tell her that not everything is about her?! Are you fucking stupid, Steve?!”

He remembers it all too well in that moment, turning his head down to avoid the frustrated glare of his male lover.

“No. No, you don’t get to look away from me. Look at me.” Bucky demands, watching the blond super soldier reluctantly do so. “I come home from my own exhausting mission, search for (Y/N) for thirty-minutes, and find her crying her God-damn heart out on the balcony of HER room; not our room, Steve, no. Her room.”

Steve’s heart shatters and his eyes widen once more.

(Y/N) hates staying in her room. She’d always be in his or Bucky’s without a doubt.

“I- Buck-”

Bucky shakes his head and stands back upright as Steve is lost for words.

“I’m not mad at you, Steve. I get it, you know? You’ve been overworking for the last month, I know you’re stressed, but fuck, baby, you can’t hurt her like that. Do you know how much my heart fucking shattered when I saw her curled up in the corner of her own God-damn balcony?! It tore me apart. She hasn’t cried since you nearly fuckin-” Bucky chokes on his own word as he walks away from his lover.

“I’m sorry! Buck, I’m sorry, okay? I shouldn’t have let Fury send me on that many missions, I- I should’ve said no. I’m sorry.” Steve attempts, standing up and following the brunet, turning him around to face him once more.

“It’s not me you need to be apologising to, Stevie.”

Captain America nods and leans up to press a kiss to the man’s lips.

“I’m sorry, James.”

Bucky takes a deep breath and forces a smile.

“I forgive you. Of course I forgive you, I know you didn’t mean it, but I swear to God, if you hurt her again…”

Steve is already shaking his head.

“I wouldn’t dream of either of you getting hurt. Where is she?”

“Our room.”

He nods and begins heading toward the woman to which he owes more than he can give.

The door is half ajar when Steve gets there, he slowly opens it to reveal his girlfriend in all her glory, curled up under their Captain America themed duvet - which Sam bought the trio as a joke last Christmas. Her face is clear-as-day red from her earlier upset, and it breaks his heart.

The man knocks gently on the day as if not to startle the poor girl.

“Hey, sweetheart.” He offers a solemn smile when she turns to see who’s there.

He hates the way he can see her hesitation to speak to him as opposed to her usual squeal of his name, arms opening wide to welcome him into her cuddle-fest.

“Hi.” She manages, forcing her own smile.

There’s silence floating between them, the only sound being Jensen Ackles, in his role of Dean Winchester, talking a load of nonsense about pie on the TV that’s streaming Supernatural.

“Baby, I’m so sorry.” Steve manages, taking a step toward the bed. “Nothing can excuse the way I yelled at you, and I’m so sorry for that, but, sweetheart, trust me when I say I didn’t mean it. I was so stupidly stressed, and I should never have let it get to that point.”

She nods, truly believing his words, but it still hurt.

The blond sits down on the edge of the bed, not daring to cuddle his girlfriend until she’s comfortable.

“I love you so much, (Y/N) (L/N).”

A bigger smile taints her lips at that.

“I love you too, Steven.” Her voice is barely a whisper but he hears it clear as day.

“Can I hold you?”

(Y/N) smiles and shakes her head as if he was being silly.

“You never need to ask permission for that, Stevie. No matter what.”

With another sad smile, he pulls the woman into his arms and holds her tighter than ever before.

“I’m so sorry, my love.”

“I forgive you, but no more missions for a while.” She whispers.

“Yes, boss.”

Bucky’s leaning against the doorframe, watching the interaction. He took a detour to Tony’s office and made sure to give the billionaire a piece of his mind about making sure Fury didn’t have Steve on any missions for a long time.

“Is this the last episode?” The brunet speaks up, stripping himself of his clothes as he enters their room properly.

“Yeah.” (Y/N) nods.

“I still think we should watch Vampire Diaries instead.” Steve chuckles, mirroring Bucky’s actions.

“I pick the TV show, Rogers shuts his cake-hole.” (Y/N) teases, mocking a line from Supernatural and snuggling herself in the middle of the bed, sandwiched between the two super soldiers - where she belongs. “I love you both.”

“Love you too, sweetheart.”

“Love you always, doll.”

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[sie-rui]

hey ok so imagine this

You and Mikey are dating right, but he keeps it secret cuz he doesn’t want other gangs to target u and he doesnt want u getting hurt right? Ok ok but Mikey secretly has fan girls cuz I mean he’s good looking.

Then outta no where like uhh 2-3 pick me girls that are in the same friend group transfer to ur school and they act like they suddenly run the place. And I wanna mention that ur like uhm the popular girl of the school cuz we’ll s/o is cool 😕👍🏼 anyways They dont know abt mikeys reputation right. And everyone’s like “hey hey if u don’t wanna die don’t talk to him” but they’re pick mes so they don’t listen RIGHT

AND THEN they’re like “hey he’s cute let’s flirt” and u suddenly show up and show them who’s boss and like fight them outta jealousy or smt and they run crying. A few weeks later they find out mikeys reputation and they avoid him scared outta their minds. MIKEY WOULD PROBABALY BE AMUSED TOO

LIKE LIKE IDEK IT WAS JS A RANDOM THOUGHT THAT CAME TO MY MIND THE OTHER DAY IDEK IF IT MAKES SNESE LMAO anyways I’m sorry if this is too detailed or if it’s too complicated 😭

❀ THE LINE | TOKYO REVENGERS 🤍 sano manjiro 💿 female reader, second pov (you/your), tw: violence, jealousy, established relationship, au - everyone lives / nobody dies, timeline: highschool, imagine 📅 june 29, 2021 🔗 masterlist ,, sent by mikeysboba

sano manjiro’s s/o is his alone just like how he is his s/o’s alone. that’s just how it is. some people don’t understand that.

You heard about the new transfer students next door the moment they arrived. You were respected in school and were well-liked so the news reached you fast since everyone is usually excited to tell you something or they’re always happy to share something with you if you ask.

…Also because of the students’ reputation.

There were two of them, both from the same school and neighborhood and apparently childhood friends as well. They transferred for some reason that none of the staff disclosed which you could respect since it’s their privacy after all.

Their reputation… isn’t the best.

To put it simply, they were entitled bitches who’s acting as if they created the school with their bare hands and they raised the students so everyone should respect them. Also because they insulted this nice girl in their class for telling off a male student for cheating. Apparently, they took the boy’s side who was clearly in the wrong and insulted the girl. (One of the transferees ended up flirting with said male student so everyone understood immediately.)

You could only sigh and thank whoever is up there that they didn’t end up in your class.

You spoke too soon.

“I’m sorry, Y/n-san! We tried to warn them to not approach him because of his… reputation but they didn’t listen,” one of your classmates said apologetically with his head hanging low.

You could only pat his shoulder, flashing him a smile. “Don’t worry, I’ll deal with them to make sure no one gets hurt.”

“Are you sure? Mikey-kun isn’t really… the best person out there and you- you could get hurt,” he stammers, lips in a frown and brows furrowed in worry.

You only shake your head, waving dismissively as you chuckle, turning around to go to the classroom. “I’ll be fine, just keep everyone out and I’ll handle the collateral.” Or maybe I’ll cause it, we’ll see when I get there.

No one really knew about your relationship with Mikey. It was kept secret since he didn’t want you getting too involved with Touman, he preferred keeping you away to keep you safe and so that you could live a simple gang-free life which you’re thankful for. You’re planning on getting in a good high school and you really can’t afford getting distracted.

Even if your relationship isn’t public, no one really does usually approach Mikey despite his pretty face. Mostly because of his reputation as Touman’s President, also because he was mean to anyone that tried to flirt with him… Perhaps also because he beat up a senior that challenged him two years ago in his first year. He may be smiling but all students just labelled him dangerous and tended to steer out of his path. Everyone just knew better after that.

Everyone except the two idiotic transferees. According to your classmate, they tried telling them off, trying to stop them from approaching the sleeping blond in your classroom, but of course they wouldn’t listen. What else did you expect?

Your classmates just ran out of the classroom after that, leaving those two alone with the half-lucid Mikey. It was break time anyway. (Even if it wasn’t, you’re sure that the teachers wouldn’t mind knowing how impulsive Mikey sometimes is.) So, here you are, returning from the restroom to see everyone outside the door, either covering their eyes, snickering, or just sighing, some were even thinking of calling an ambulance.

You just took up the job of dealing with the collateral first-hand since you seemed to be the only person Mikey loved talking to other than Draken. Everyone just thought that it was because of your charm and not even Mikey could be immune to it.

Speaking of Draken, that poor guy got dragged by Baji earlier because of some stupid shit he and Chifuyu stirred. Mikey was supposed to go with them but he refused to wake up so Draken just left him alone, giving you a sorry look.

You can’t help but sigh as you slide open the door, ignoring the murmurs behind you. You knew that they wouldn’t dare to come in or even try to pry open the windows. Not anyone can stomach a beating.

The door slides close behind you, before you freeze. One of the girls, a blonde, was sitting on the chair in front of Mikey, smiling coyly and twirling her hair. While the other was standing beside Mikey, a hand on his shoulder. Mikey looked as if he was going to kill someone, uncomfortable.

You were also probably the only person present that knew he wouldn’t hit girls. Sadly, these girls wouldn’t learn from words, they learn from actions.

“Uh, hey, we’re busy here,” the blonde says, noticing you.

You force out a smile. “This is our classroom, you’re intruding. Please take your business elsewhere or I’m going to have to drag you out by force.” You really didn’t want to fight them. It might affect your clean record and therefore make your acceptance to the high school harder… Also because you kind of liked how everyone treats you currently.

“Mou, just let us finish~” This time, it was the brunette that spoke, pouting and still patting Mikey’s shoulder. “We’re going to finish our conversation real quick! Right, Mikey-kun?”

“Conversation is a two-way discussion. Both parties will talk and share their ideas, and both parties are supposed to be comfortable in it; if not, then it is either persuasion or pressure,” you raise a brow, taking slow easy steps to them. “So tell me, Manjiro, are you comfortable in this situation?”

You met his gaze and instead of the uncomfortable blank expression earlier, there was a small smirk on his lips. He glances at both of the girls before carefreely resting his cheek on his propped up hand, eyes twinkling with curiosity and amusement. “No. Not at all.”

You finally stop a table in front of them, poised. “See, ladies? Now, I’m asking you to go for the second time. Resist and I’ll be relying on force.”

The blonde scoffs, standing up from her seat. “But I really want to talk to Mikey-”

She wasn’t able to finish her sentence as your hand was already on the ribbon that kept her ponytail up, dragging her down as she yelped. The brunette squeaks but you caught one of her braids before she could either run away or come at you.

Easily avoiding their sharp perfectly-painted nails, you drag them by the door as Mikey watches on with a little chuckle. You slide open the door with your foot ignoring both the yelps of the duo and the gasps of your classmates. You spread your feet apart before throwing the brunette out and lightly spinning so the blonde could go next.

They both topple to the floor, your classmates not bothering to catch them and just opting to back away instead. “My hair and nails!” The blonde shrieks causing a few wandering eyes to gravitate to her, tears were gathering up in her eyes while her partner had already let a few of them slip. “You bitch! I’m going to-”

The foot that met her stomach wasn’t yours.

Mikey stands beside you, expression once more blank but fire in his eyes as he hears what she just called you. His hands are on your shoulder as he nonchalantly scrutinizes everyone around him, all who are frozen including the passing teacher who was about to stop the growing fight.

“I don’t hit girls,” Manjiro starts, his grip on you tightening. “But you just crossed the line by calling Y/n a bitch.”

[feral-ella-flynn]

Paying the Toll, pt 2: M Troll x F Human, SFW (for now)

Part 1

Male Troll + Female Human

still SFW (so far)

2.5K/6.5K word draft

tagging @feralprose @monster-bait @apocalypticromantic666 @pre-schoolervengance @bresilienne-ami @soivebuiltupaworldofmagic @dont-call-me-a-faerie @kirmalight (comment to be tagged in updates!)

I bet no one expected this to be updated! Including me! This installment is definitely not as long as I intended, because I got really hung up on details--that’s why I’m posting anyway, to get some momentum so that hopefully the third part will be both longer and not so tardy. 

Escaping a goblin raid on your village leads you to a bridge, but you have nothing to offer the troll who guards it for a toll...except yourself

You wake in darkness.  At first you aren't sure you're awake at all--it's only by touching your own eyelids that you can feel sure they're open. It seems to make no difference between the thick, pressing dark around you either way.

“Mattie?” you whisper, your voice thin and hoarse. 

There’s no answer, and understanding comes crashing down on you, like floodwater overwhelming a dam. You are not in your cramped room under the eaves of the big house, Mathilde is not sleeping on the narrow bed an armspan away–if she’s lucky, perhaps she was able to hide in the cellars or the attics, somewhere that was safe enough until the goblin raiders felt they had run out of things to raze and ravish and moved on. Or perhaps help would come, from the regiment billeted outside the market town, or from rangers who might have been near enought to see the smoke. If Mattie was unlucky….

A sob catches in your dry throat, then turns to choking dry heaves that leave you shuddering. Bile burns on your tongue. You huddle into the nest of furs, remembering now where you are and how you came to be here, naked and alone in the pitch black.

Not alone. There is the hush of leather brushing against stone, a faint musky scent. 

“Brúsi?”

“Aye.” The troll’s gravel-rough voice is low and close–you almost reach out, ready to blunder once again into his arms rather than be alone with your fears.

The scrape of flint is loud enough in the silence to make you jump. Sparks illuminate the troll, kneeling at your side, and as he coaxes the tinder to unfurl into flame you hastily wrap a fur around your bare flesh. Whatever mood made you so bold before has been banished by your nightmares.

“Is it morning?”

The troll shrugs. “Near enough.”

“Shall I–shall I make breakfast for you?” Your fingers knead anxiously in the soft nap of the pelt that you clutch closed over your chest. “What do you like for breakfast?”

The troll–Brúsi–glances at you, his head tilted in the way that is already familiar. You think it means he’s just as bewildered by your contract, and by you, as you are yourself.

“Dried goat,” he says. “Morning meal, evening meal. Unless there is a new goat.”

“Oh. Where do the goats come from?”

He shrugs. “The bridge provides.”

Well. You take a deep breath, pushing the fear and panic of the last day, of the dark dreams, down into a tight ball at the bottom of your stomach, where you can ignore it for a little while. “Does the bridge ever provide eggs?”

And so you begin your month as housekeeper to a troll. 

Your clothes are badly stained, and chilly from being spread out on the stone floor, but they're dry and you dress in them anyway, trying to ignore the scrutiny of Brúsi’s dark blue eyes as he watches you. He seems fascinated by the layers as you lace your stays over your shift, tie the strings of your petticoat, and your cheeks burn with a blush as you finally button your gown. You do your best with the tangles in your hair--letting it hide your face until your heart stops thumping in your ears before you twist it into a hasty braid. 

There are no eggs. But you take a lantern the troll indicates and follow him into another cave that serves as a store room.

“There is goat,” he says, pointing at the considerable supply of dried meat, “and other goods, if tha wish them.” His gesture at the heaps of bags, crates, jars, casks, boxes–all jumbled together and shoved to one side–is dismissive, as if there is nothing of value to be found. You stare wide-eyed at a bolt of fine silk, at the glint of gold from a carelessly overturned casket with a broken lid.

“What is all this?”

“Payment for the toll, for when there were no goats.”

“You don’t do anything with the things paid for the toll? They just sit and rot?”

He shrugs. “I butcher the goats.”

You can only shake your head, but the practicality can’t be denied–gold and silk isn’t much use in a cave, and it’s with less wonder but more delight that you find flour, oil, and salt.

Breakfast is fried bread--and goat meat.

Once the meal is prepared and cleaned away, the troll vanishes up the dark tunnel. He takes no lantern with him. He also doesn't say a word to you before he leaves, and you stand in the cave for a while, expecting him to come back with instructions, or–well, something. But he doesn’t, and  you can only twist your hands in the skirt of your gown for so long. Eventually you pick up the lantern and explore. 

There is little enough to see. Other than what you noticed when you arrived, there is an alcove that must be where the troll sleeps, on piled furs that smell musky but not unpleasant. There is the storage cave, although it seems larger than it did at first, because you realize that you can’t see the far wall before the circle of light gives way to darkness.

And then there is the tunnel entrance, where your new employer disappeared, and which presumably leads out, to--your stomach lurches at the memory of being upside down from the sky–the underside of the bridge. But perhaps that had been an illusion, and the tunnel merely led out to an opening in the bank underneath the bridge? You had been half out of your mind with fear, after all. Maybe you dreamed that part.

Maybe…maybe you could simply walk out of this tunnel, out of the dark, and walk all the way home.

Except that you agreed to a contract. And the troll did say he wouldn’t eat you, wouldn’t even touch you, which was more than any of the men at the big house ever promised...none of them had touched you, but you knew that was because you had been careful, so careful, all the time, to be invisible. 

It had helped that Mattie made it easy to fade into the background. She flaunted her pretty curls and winsome dimples, and when she sometimes crept into your shared attic room well after midnight she always had a new length of fine fabric for a dress or a necklace of amber beads to show for it. You asked once if she wasn’t afraid of falling pregnant, but she just shrugged.

“I know to be careful,” she said, and hid the coins she’d gotten for selling her latest bauble away beneath her bed.

Thinking of Mattie makes your eyes sting with tears, and reminds you that probably there was no home to walk back to–and if you tried, there would likely be nothing to be done there except burying the dead. You leave the tunnel entrance alone, and busy yourself with organizing the heaped goods in the storage cave.

When Brúsi returns, he brings you eggs, freshly laid and nested in a straw packed basket. 

“They had no goat." He shrugs. 

Other than struggling to invent new ways of preparing goat meat, most of your time is spent sorting. You find all manner of things in the storage cave, from precious jewels to plain linen fabric. The gems and gold you store in caskets, and then can’t shift on your own–Brúsi laughs at you, and picks them up with one hand, arranging them neatly along one wall as you direct him. You stack bolts of fabric, folding shorter lengths neatly into a another chest, you line up swords with gold wrapped hilts, swords with elaborately carved scabbards, swords that are short, swords that are nearly as long as you are tall, and then there are maces and axes and other things you can’t name. There’s even a pair of pistols in a tooled leather box, their handles gleaming mother of pearl. It’s more treasure than you ever imagined, and you feel that you’re in a dragon’s den instead of a troll’s cave--except that Brúsi shows little interest in the goods, except for the goat meat.

“If you don't have a use for these things, why accept them?” you asked, after the third day of sorting boxes and bundles and barrels, and still not finding the back wall of the cave. You’d found a crown, heavy and lumpy, like something out of an ancient grave, and under it a belt of bronze scales that linked together.

The troll just shrugged. “They are the toll, for the bridge. There must be a toll.”

“Then…" you bite your lip, but blurt "can I use some things?”

“If tha hast a use for them, then mayhap the bridge meant them for tha to use.”

“You make it sound like the bridge is alive,” you murmur, running your fingers over the bolts of fabric, already imagining yourself in a dress made of such soft material.

“The bridge is the bridge,” Brúsi says.

“What does that mean?”

He just shrugs.

You sigh, picking up a bolt of wool–practical, and still finer than anything you’ve ever worn. “If the bridge provides, can I give it a list? I need thread, needles, scissors, buttons…I can’t keep wearing this dress,” you gesture down at yourself. “Not without something else to wear while I wash it, at least, but I can’t make anything without supplies. And for that matter I need soap–”

Brúsi tilts his head. “Tha may always ask the bridge, but it works slowly. Simpler for tha to go to a market.”

You stare at him, your mouth falling open. “I can? I mean, is that allowed? I thought…”

He stares at you, the intense blue of his eyes unblinking, and you finally shrug. “I just thought I couldn’t leave the cave.”

“Not for long, but art not bound to the bridge as I am. Come.” He scoops a handful of coins into a pouch and leads you into the tunnel.

The ground slopes upward under your feet, and after a time there is a door before you, swinging outward. Brúsi ducks under its arch, his broad form filling the opening. When he doesn't move to let you through, you realize that he's blocking the way deliberately. Unease spikes through you.

"Is something wrong?"

"The bridge made tha sick before," he says. “Tha shouldst close thine eyes.” You squint suspiciously up at him–is he laughing at you?–but obey. You hear the rattle of his bone-decorated belt as he steps toward you, but then he stops. “I must touch tha,” he says. “Just to lift tha over the topside.”

“All right,” you whisper. You stifle a gasp as his enormous hands circle your waist, lifting you easily off of your feet, and then after a blur of motion you feel stone under you again.

When you open your eyes, you’re on the narrow stone arch of the bridge.  Your lantern flame becomes suddenly pale compared to the warm sunlight that makes you blink and squint. There is no dark and shadowed forest hemming in the river. Instead there is a road, smooth hard dirt fringed with wildflowers on either side, and the rooftops of a village in the distance.

“Where…” You look down at the bridge under your bare feet. 

“The bridge is all bridges,” Brúsi says. He holds out the leather bag of coins, and you take it, staggering a bit at the weight. “Buy whatever tha need.”

You hesitate, glancing from the troll to the road. What is there to stop you from walking away and never returning, from making a life somewhere? The bag in your hand holds more money than you had ever expected to earn in your life. There would be nothing to hold you to the bridge…except your promise.

“Tha canst not escape the bridge.” Brúsi seems to be reading your thoughts, although he’s not even looking at you. He’s gazing down at the water. “Every bridge tha sets foot on will be this bridge, until the toll is paid.”

“Of course.” The bag of coins drags at your arms, and you fumble it open, taking out a handful. “I should be able to get everything I need with these–it would be dangerous to carry all the rest of this.”

The troll frowns, glancing from you to the distant rooftops. “Danger from other humans?”

“Only if I seem to have more money than I should,” you assure him hastily. “It would get attention from the wrong kind of humans. I'll be careful.”

 The coins bite into your palm as your fingers clench unconsciously. The frown creases his forehead, not smoothed away by your reassurances, and you half expect him to shake his head and pick you up under his arm again, ready to toss you back under the bridge. 

“Please?”

 You bite your lip too late to keep the word in, but there are lazy curls of smoke rising from the distant chimneys, and you can hear the lowing of cattle nearby, the friendly chime of chapel bells...and all you can think about is cheese. Cheese, and fruit to pair it with, or potatos, perhaps. Honeycakes. Your stomach rebels at the very thought of dried goat.

Brúsi jerks his chin toward the road. “Go, then. The bridge will be waiting for tha to return.”

You hand off the sack of coins–your shoulders more than grateful to be relieved of its weight–and the troll adds it to the other oddments that dangle from his belt among the bones. He folds his arms.

The handful of coins you kept are barely enough to make your pocket sag with their weight, but you can feel them as a reassuring lump under your skirts. You run anxious hands over your hair and stained gown, smoothing uselessly at wrinkles. 

“I wish I had been able to bathe properly,” you mutter. “I look like a ragamuffin.”

But your hands and face are clean, your hair neatly tied back, and dusk is not far off, so perhaps your bare feet will not be noticed. You step from the cool stone of the bridge to the warm hardpacked dirt of the road. 

"I'll be back s--" Your voice breaks off as you glance over your shoulder. The bridge behind you is a simple one of wooden logs, straddling a stream that a child could leap across. Gooseflesh prickles the back of your neck. You hurry down the road towards the village without looking back a second time.

[eulangelo]

callout for @genderfluidlucifer

google docs

tw for transmisogyny + TERFs + emotional manipulation

Transmisogyny

Lucifer is a huge transmisogynist who will complain 24/7 about how TERFs hurt the ace community, but the moment @randomclustermissile , a trans girl (who is not an exclusionist at all) tries to point out transmisogyny in inclusionist circles (in the most vague and general way possible, without pointing fingers nor calling anyone names) Lucifer will immediatly jump to block her and so they did with me (another inclusionist) and i have to suppose to everyone else who agreed with that post, even arriving to vagueing about us in private group chats to suggest that we were “sympathizing with exclusionists”. all because we dared point out transmisogyny in inclusionist circles. lucifer is TME but apparently they think they’re the authority on TERFs and their talking points but actual trans women are not, according to them, since this is the stuff that they would go and spew to other people. (screenshots from @enbyoctoling​)

here’s more examples of Lucifer (again, a transmasc person) going deep in detail about how according to them, TERFs/SWERFs hate aro/ace people and are an active threat to us

1. link

[Image ID: Three screenshots of a post by Genderfluidlucifer. The first screenshot is of a paragraph that reads, "Hey. So I can actually answer this. Anon your commentary about how you thought terfs would approve of sex repulsed aces is sort of it. Except...not. Basically terfs hate ace people for not wanting sex in the approved by terfs way. Terfs are actually extremely interested in [forcing] amatonormativity onto everyone. Because for as sex negative as terfs are...they don't want to actually acknowledge or change the fact that amatonormativity is at the root cause of rape culture and misogyny."

The second screenshot is a zoomed in section of the post that reads, "So yeah no I have NO idea where exclus allies are getting this idea from that terfs would even remotely care about the sexual rights of ace people. Terfs generally hate any sexualities in the LGBTQ+ acronym that aren't LGB because they can't force a gender binary onto those sexualities. At least, not as easily. That's why it's actually a massive sign of someone who doesn't call themselves a terf being a crypto terf if they use the term LGB in a positive manner. Along with the term SGA, as it is deliberately exclusive of nonbinary and not inherently SGA centric queer-aligned sexualities. /END ID]

link to the full post, these are just excerpts but the whole thing is just a very long rant about how TERFs hate ace people and so on (i think it’s worth noticing that although the actual post is kinda long, trans women are never once brought op in a conversation about TERFs issues and the only time transmisogyny is mentioned is not relevant to the conversation)

2. link

[Image ID: A screenshot of a reblog by genderfluidlucifer. The original poster is nothorses. It reads, "Because apparently I have to say it: Testosterone is not a 'violent' hormone. It doesn't make you 'more aggressive' or a worse person, it doesn't make you 'dangerous,' or 'toxic.' Transmascs do not need to be 'warned of the dangers of T.' We do not need to spend our transitions terrified that we're going to become a danger to those around us - that HRT is going to turn us into a monster.

Everyone experiences mood swings during hormonal shifts (pregnancy, menstruation, menopause, estrogen HRT, etc.) and while you might have grumpy moments or feel anger/frustration that you need to learn to handle differently, that doesn't make you a bad person.

Testosterone can change the way you access/process emotions somewhat, but if you're already thoughtful about how you handle your feelings and treat others, you're going to be fine. It's normal to lash out on occasion, by accident, then apologize and work to do better. It doesn't make you a bad person. Everyone on HRT is prone to this, and everyone experiencing hormonal changes is prone to this.

Getting HRT should be positive and affirming; you should not have to spend your entire transition terrified of becoming a monster."

The post then has a reblog by captainlordauditor that reads, "The big danger of T is that needle ouchy." /END ID]

here’s them reblogging from known transmisogynist user @nothorses (once again, the irony that a post about how testosterone is seen as the "aggressive hormone" does not mention transfem at all which are literally the main victims of this rethoric in the first place)

3. link (1), link (2)

[Image ID: Two screenshots of posts by genderfluidlucifer. The first screenshot reads, "Queer exclus: We're not repackaging terf rhetoric! Saying that is transmisogynistic! Also queer exclus: Remove the plus from LGBT!" and has tags that say, "I will pay these people to grow some god damn self awareness. Imagine being this dense. Queer discourse." The post has 15 notes.

The second screenshot reads, "Honestly it is so stupid and frustrating to see ace exclus continue to deny that the ace discourse was started by terfs. Proof was given countless times. And a big name terf like galesofnovember even admitted to starting it. Those of you who demand proof but ignore all of this never wanted proof to begin with." and is tagged with, "ace discourse. The post has 38 notes. /END ID]

heres another two post of theirs conflating TERFs with ace exclusionism

4. link

[Image ID: A screenshot of a reblogged post by furbearingbrick. The original poster is boxlizard, Lucifer's old account. The original post reads, "By the way for people still in denial about it, here's galesofnovember, a terf, admitting that she intended to start the ace exclus movement. She's taking credit for it. Normally if the victims of this behavior weren't ace/aro or other queer identities y'all be ready to rightfully lynch her. But since it's us, y'all just still wanna stamp your feet and go, 'Nuh uh!' instead of acknowledging facts." The part that says, "admitting that she intended to start the ace exclus movement" is a link to a galesofnovember post.

There is then a reblogged addition from furbearing brick that reads, "archived versions of the receipts" and has two links to the webarchive. The tags read, "Bringing this back since it's apparently still relevant. Terfism mention. Aphobia mention. Queerphobia mention. Blocklist." and has 1,455 notes. /END ID]

this is their post that ive already talked about but basically they found a 52 notes post made by a TERF in 2012 and this one person said "i dont know why i dont get to be the princess of the anti-ace-brigade" and apparently they are convinced that this means TERFs started the ace exclusionism movement and that this is one of their goals. which is insane when TERFs in real life only care about making life miserable for transfem people first and foremost.

5.link

[Image ID: A screenshot of a reblog by genderfluidlucifer. The original poster is yu-gay-fudo. It reads, “Just in case you happen to be unaware, some of the “radfem lite” they post to warm you up to their rhetoric, just off the top of my head:

- Ace/aro exclusionism

- Bi exclusionism or claims that bi people are “less queer” bc of “straight passive privilege”

- Saying you have to be dysphoric to identify as transInvalidating nonbinary people

- Calling queer a slur regardless of context, saying people can’t identify as queer, and saying that it can’t be reclaimed

- “Mogai hell”, “kweer”, or otherwise mocking less common labels and claiming they are “just cishets who want to feel special”

- Excluding sex workers from feminist discussions or claiming that sex work is inherently evil

- Basically anyone who thinks they can determine what other people identify as”. The tags read, "queerphobia tw. twerfs tw. no id." and has 70,727 notes. It was reblogged on March 22nd, 2021 /END ID]

another example of conflating radfems to things that, while wrong, have little to nothing to do with them because being a radfem, again, is something very specific that has all to do with transfem oppression.

Emotional manipulation

Lucifer has done nothing but block, break boundaries, spread lies and vague about people, some of which were even mutuals with them knowing they would see the posts. when confronted about it Lucifer's only answer was "just say you hate me and block me" but they actually ended up blocking everyone first, making it impossible for anyone to set some boundaries with them or even just to calmly confront them about anything.

[proof: Io(popncourse) and Lucifer had a disagreement in a shared discord server, which prompted Lucifer to vague Io in a vent post. Io confronted them, as being vagued is one of buns triggers, to which Lucifer initially agreed to delete the vent post, but then proceeded to victimize themself and immediatly blocked Io. later on, Jude(malewifedeckard) was confronted by Lucifer, then after Jude told them “I’m worried that you’ll vague me just like you did with Io” they proceeded to block Jude and vagued about him too. when Io made a post (which was not a callout, it was just bun setting buns boundaries) explaining what Lucifer did, Lucifer immediatly jumped to victimize themself, acting like they were being called out and straight-up lying, even going so far as to say that no one tried to hear them out, which is a blatant lie if you consider the aforementioned Io and Jude’s attempts at doing so, with Lucifer immediatly blocking and cutting ties with the both of them. ] 

(screenshots taken by @popncourse and @malewifedeckard)

as seen in the proof above Lucifer’s behaviour is not ok because they don’t accept any kind of confrontation and immediatly jump to blocking, and after blocking, they'd immediatly go and vague about the people who confronted them pacificly, spreading more lies and painting themself as the victim and even arriving to say “no one hears me out at all” which is simply not something you can say when you block people who are trying to hear you out in the first place.

this is by no means an invitation to go and harass them, send them hate or anything like that. i absolutely don’t want anything even remotely hateful or negative to be sent their way after this post. 

this post was only made because:

1. as an ace person who fully supports the inclusion of aspec identities in the lgbt+ community i don’t want to support an enviroment that costantly downplays transmisogynistic oppression in order to be taken seriously. there are hundreds of ways to make aspec activism without acting like we(as in TME aspecs)are the victims of a system that seeks for the annihilation of transfemenine people in real life everyday. i especially don’t want to support TME individuals who act transfem-friendly but then block any transfem who tries to speak on transmisogyny without a second thought.

2. Lucifer’s behaviour has hurt two friends of mine and i don’t want to associate with someone who actively breaks people’s boundaries without taking accountability when messing up.

3. i cannot associate with someone who spreads lies about me accusing me of sympathizing with exclusionists all while having me blocked so that i can’t see it nor defend me. they complain about people not hearing them out but they’re the very first person who does not try to hear people out, and instead jumps to spread baseless rumors. this is not someone i can nor want to associate with. 

(image descriptions provided by @malewifedeckard)

[sasudou]

speaking of role-less characters and background characters that served their purpose i couldn't help but be reminded of this reddit post

it seems that jjk is nearing the end somewhat and some of the characters might come back as a filler and whatnot but needless to say i dont think gege likes to focus much on female characters, heck even maki was done somewhat dirty but he brought her back for a shortwhile, nobara? who knows but she was supposed to be a main fem lead and look how that ended. idk

hmmm i actually like how gege handles his female characters. he actually gives them a personality and development—which is the bare minimum, but is something we rarely ever see in manga, much less a shonen.

i don’t think maki was done dirty? i actually really like what’s being done with her character. it’s clear that she’s part of the main cast, as she’s been utilized throughout the story and will probably continue to be used to the end. she actually has a story—she has development. she’s part of something that’s been built up since the first season, so it would be weird to simply drop her like a side character (especially since that plot point is still somewhat relevant).

nobaras character is a bit more tragic, but i don’t exactly hate what was done with her character. she was very well written, even during her death. (of course, her status is still technically unknown, but i don’t think she’s going to be brought back). nobara had her own little story, and even though it didn’t fit with the overall plot, it still got played out very well. unfortunately, some characters do have to die for plot progression.

overall, i don’t think gege doesn’t care about female characters. he writes them well compared to other shonen writers. however, he still does have a male dominated main cast. a bit upsetting, but it is shonen, so i don’t have very high expectations. however, just because i like them doesn’t mean you have to! there may be certain aspects that you noticed that i didn’t or certain aspects we have different opinions on, and that’s perfectly fine. (though id love to hear your thoughts on them, anon. i rarely see criticism revolving geges treatment of his female characters, so you may have been exposed to things i wasn’t.)

i do agree with the reddit post tho! some side characters are just side characters. not every character needs a story. that, however, doesn’t mean they can’t be utilized. i do think utahime can be used as a way to show how the situation is being handled, how it’s affecting her students, and how those close to the jujutsu world hierarchy (apart from the main cast) see the situation (she is a teacher and has to follow the higher ups, but she also has students she needs to take care of). i’m not saying she needs to be part of the main cast or needs to have a full out story, but i do think she can be used as a side character a bit more. we’ve seen how the main cast + other sorcerers are handling things, but how about those working directly under the higher ups? what is going on there? do they have plans? utahime can be a way to introduce that a bit more. (we know some, but not a lot.)

gege doesn’t have to do any of this, of course! i simply just find it interesting. the story will go on just fine if none of this is talked about or if it is brought up in a different manner.

utahime as a character doesn’t interest me much, simply because we’ve seen so little of her, so whether or not she shows up later in the story isn’t important to me, but i do think there is some potential there (though not a lot, as her presence would not be necessary to show the things i mentioned above).

sorry if this doesn’t make any sense btw i only slept three hours last night and wrote this while half asleep.

[maki-s-wife]

Our favorite senior

Pairing: students of Jujustu high x gender neutral!reader

Warnings: none

Y/n is finally graduating from Jujustu high and the rest of the students worry that they’ll never see them again when they are busy with work.

ALSO the word “soulmates” is used in this but it’s platonic tho-

“Y/n~” Nobara sang. You looked up from from your book to see the rest of the students crowding around you. “What are all you doing here?” You ask. They seemed to be serious which could mean one of two things. One the situation is serious or two they did something serious and need you to fix it again. Usually it was always the ladder. “Do you wanna come hang out with us?” itadori asked. You squinted, you’ve known everyone long enough to always question their motives. “Where?” “Just the shopping district” Maki answered. There didn’t seem to be anything wrong with the shopping district and plus you had been wanting to buy some new clothes. “Alright that doesn’t seem bad, just let me get ready”.

The rest of the students let out a huge sigh of relief as you walked to your dorm. “I told you she’d agree” panda said whipping the obvious sweat from his face. He wasn’t the only one worried. All of them had been worried that as soon as you left you would forget about them. It was a sad thought that hovered over their heads as your time at Jujustu high was coming to an end. Nobara and yuuji were more jealous that they only knew you for the time of the school year. The second years knew you for almost two and Megumi had probably known you the longest. Gojo had introduced you to him and a bond was instantly formed. Though they all had in common that when you met them you immediately took them under your wing. You were like Jujustu high’s older sibling, always being there for your underclassmen no matter what.

“Do you guys really think they’ll forget us?” Yuuji pouted, you were like family to him now and the thought of you really leaving forever haunted him. Nobara hit his head and spoke “jeez your getting to emotional over this”. Everyone looked over to Nobara who’s eyes were so watery the sun glinted in them 10x more. “SPEAK FOR YOURSELF” yuuji choked out. Toge just sulked. He would miss how you’d tolerate his playful antics. Maki was also just pouting at the ground. You and her had that bond that no other could replace. Almost like you two were soulmates. Panda had looked up to you greatly, probably training with you the most was feeling emotional over the thought of you really forgetting him and the others. Megumi wouldn’t let it show but he was pretty glum at the moment. Knowing you for the longest and probably knew you the best out of the group even worried about him fading from your mind.

You walked outside to see everyone silently standing in a circle. They were all hunched over even Megumi who never slacks when it comes to posture. Slowly creeping up behind the group you hear small sniffles. Pushing your head in between Nobara and yuuji’s you asked “are you guys ok?”. Everyone jumped at the same time. When they came back down they all looked normal. “Of course were fine why would we be sad” maki spoke. “Tuna tuna” Toge agreed. Shrugging off the odd encounter you all went to the shopping area for the remainder of the day until it got dark.

You all laughed and played around on your way home. All of you held large bags of clothes, accessories and sweets to bring back for Gojo as Nobara walked freely with a small bag with a pair of earrings and other pieces of jewelry that probably drained gojo’s credit card.

You wiped away the tear from laughing. “This has got to be the best day ever” you said pulling everyone close to you. They all smiled, it truly was a great day but the thought of this being one of the last few times you’d say that to them. Soon you would be making new memories replacing the ones they had with you with others. Others that matched your skill and would always be working with you.

They hadn’t noticed it but you had been staring at them as their smiles faltered and the glint in their eyes left. Had they not had a great time? No. They were probably just tired. You all spent the day walking they probably just want to rest.

After arriving back to the school everyone said their goodnights and left to their rooms. You walked back and threw yourself on your bed. Going on your phone you looked through the pictures of today and old ones from the past months. Your adored those memories with your whole heart. You found a couple with yuuta in them. you missed Yuuta, though you didn't know him in person that long you both surprisingly stayed in contact while he was out and about in other countries. you placed your phone down. There was a mission you had to go on tomorrow and you didn’t want to be tired when it was time to wake up.

The next morning everyone woke up and went to the kitchen and saw many large stacks of pancakes with a note.

Good morning everyone, I have a mission to go on and I probably won’t be back until tomorrow. I hope you enjoy breakfast and don’t die while I’m gone :)

Their eyes started to water as they ate the pancakes. Itadori going on how deli it was while maki told him he’d choke if he kept talking. You were always the best at making them food. When you learned one or more of them hadn’t ate you always whipped something up quickly. There was never a time where they doubted you were the ultimate older sibling of this school, as you even cared for Gojo sometimes no matter how annoying he was. You’d help ijichi with his errands and hang out with principle yaga’s cursed corpses. Helping shoko with paper work and general healing people.

“Oh I can’t take this anymore” Nobara wailed. Megumi looked down. “I doubt y/n would forget about us”. Everyone looked up at him. “How can you know that” yuuji wined. “Just trust me I’m sure she won’t...”

The answer and the silence they came after it wasn’t very comforting. Toge and Panda didnt want to say anything, they had no clue what to say. No matter how many memories you could make with a person it was always possible to forget them. They all believed that’s what would happen with you.

The rest of the day went by slow. Gojo could sense something seemed wrong and before he could even ask why the group hovered over your bed in silence Nobara yelled at the top of her lungs for him to get out. Gojo simply walked away not wanting to make her more mad.

The slideshow had to be one of the worst they could make but still planned on presenting it to you on your last day.

“When IS y/n’s last day here?” Megumi asked. Maki tapped her cheek thinking. Toge’s eyes went wide and jumped up to the calendar hanging from the wall. He remembered when the last seniors graduated and then pointed to the next day on the calender. He frantically started walking around the room muttering words no one could hear. Everyone started getting teary-eyed, walking back and forth, saying random things. Everything was out of order. They thought they’d have at least another week with you and couldn’t handle the sudden change. They all paused when they heard the door open. Maki and Nobara were about to yell for Gojo to leave the room when they noticed it was YOU.

“How are you back here so early, you were gone for less than 6 hours” panda questioned. You blinked a couple times. “Well...the mission was easier than I thought but why are you all in my room and why are you all crying”. You were confused but concerned most of all.

"Guys-"

"PLEASE DONT FORGET ABOUT US" itadori and Nobara sang in unison. toge and panda repeatedly nodded their heads. the four were on their knees begging while Maki and Megumi stood awkwardly. "your gonna leave and then just forget about us in a couple months that's all" Maki said averting her eyes from your confused figure.

"what do you all mean? how the hell could I forget you guys" you said as you bent down and bought the four students up. "I love you guys and I couldn't forget my time with you all even if I wanted to which I never would!" you said pulling everyone into a close hug again. "But-" "There's no buts itadori and besides I'm not exactly leaving". Everyone looked at you with confusion. Toge staring at you menacingly trying to sense if you were lying. "DID YOU GET HELD BACK" Nobara gasped. You chuckled "of course not, after a couple of months I'll be coming back as a teacher". Panda picked you in a bone crushing hug and everyone followed.

"your our favorite senior" Itadori exclaimed.

you wheezed for a laugh as you were in a very tight hug. "I'm your Only senior, but you all are my favorite underclassmen....now I won't live long enough to buy you all treats if I don't get down-"

[hohoz]

The ones that suffer the most

I wanted to talk about this for a long time.

I’m a Resident evil addicted, I finished almost every RE game released and I must say that Capcom made some poor choices regarding Jill and Chris, they are EASILY the most mistreated characters in RE Franchise. 

But let’s explain why is that: 

Jill and Chris are survivors, they had to survive in a mansion with a lot of puzzles and zombies, while looking for items that could help them to progress and find a way to reach Brad. 

When they arrive at STARS Office, they are revolted that Umbrella did all that under their noses and innocents were dying because of that and they explained EVERYTHING in a report - but Irons made that go away. 

In the ORIGINAL RE3 we had this special file (Jill’s Diary) 

August 7th Two weeks have passed since that day. My wounds have been healed, but I just can't forget it. For most people, it's history now. But for me, whenever I close my eyes, it all comes back clearly. Zombies eating people's flesh and the screams of my teammates dying. No, the wounds in my heart are not healed yet...

August 13th Chris has been causing a lot of trouble recently. What's with him? He seldom talks to the other police members and is constantly irritated. The other day, he punched Elran of the Boy's Crime department just for accidentally splashing Chris's face with coffee. I immediately stopped Chris, but when he saw me he just gave me a wink and walked away. I wonder what happened to him...

August 15th Midnight. Chris, who has been on a leave of absence for a "vacation," called me so I visited his apartment. As soon as I walked into his room, he showed me a couple of pieces of paper. They were part of a virus research report entitled as simply as "G". Then Chris told me that, "The nightmare still continues." He went on to say that, "It's not over yet." Ever since that day, he has been fighting all by himself without rest, without even telling me.

August 24th Chris left the town today to go to Europe. Barry told me that he would send his family to Canada and then he would follow Chris. I decided to remain in Raccoon City for a while because I know that the research facility in this city will be very important to this entire case. In a month or so, I'll be joining with them somewhere in Europe. That's when my real battle begins...

For some weird reason this file isn’t available in RE3 Remake. 

But ok, here we see that Chris was doing some investigation - in the RE2RMK  you could see this letter that Chris left in a way that normal people wouldn't understand - the only thing that Claire says is that “doesnt look like him” but how normies would understand what Chris is like is he is not well represented in media ??????????????????

And Jill had all the detective work in her wall. 

So far so good - we understand the basics about them - they are Special police force, the elite, they had a traumatic experience and they survived to tell the story. 

Some problems until now:

Jill had a MAJOR personality change in RE3 RMK- I honestly like most of that, she is a badass in the originals and she is a badass in the rmk but I still dislike the fact that she swears all the time (specially because in RE1, RE Rev, RE5 she doesn't do that) 

We can tell a lot about her personality just looking at her room, but I still miss some stuff (I had expectations - so this is not a real problem. but still) like a Vinyl player (since she is probably into classical music), some letters from her father so new players can understand her origin and why is she so good in lockpicking and more about her dog (she had a pic in the original that could’ve been her boyfriend but it was replaced by a dog in RE2 rmk but in RE3 Rmk there in no dog) 

Okay - after you finish the game the only thing we see is this: 

In my opinion this is Chris since he is always associated with Green colors while Jill is associated with blue. 

So my speculation here is that she found him while in the original we had this: 

This is not a major chance but still is important (lore of course - duh) but the problem here is that while Jill is looking for him - Code Veronica is happening. 

So I can only assume two things, they did not show him because they DON’T HAVE A FACE FOR HIM or I am wrong and that is Jill, but if that is Jill so why there is no decent epilogue like the original ? 

Okay, now we are arriving in the real trouble area

I will do RE5 first and the Wii and Rev1 (even tho those two comes first in the lore) 

RESIDENT EVIL 5 

So before the game was release we had some propaganda, including this: 

So have in mind that Jill was dead, I thought that she died and RE5 would explain that shit. 

But in the beginning we see that Chris is looking for her and have in mind that Chris HAD A MAJOR CHANCE IN HIS APPEARANCE, and I’m not talking about his muscles. 

I will not address Chris in CV since he was good in that game but I the team that made CV also made the original, it had CONSISTENCE. 

Here we have Chris, he’s THE classical american soldier protagonist from Hollywood in the 80′s/90′s and he had some omage to TOPGUN

He also shares some traits with his sister

A major trait here is that HE HAS BLUE EYES, typical good looking soldier from US. 

and now let’s have a look at Chris in RE5...

Yeah... I still hate this face even tho I love his Character in this game, this ugly a** monkey looking mf and he had a lot of steroids

So we have some lore to him in RE5, Jill and Chris went to a mansion looking for Spencer (one of the fathers of Umbrella and the one that was behind project Wesker, he wanted to do this Virus so he could live forever, so RE has a good lore, it’s not just about zombies) but when they found him, he was dead and Wesker was by his side, in a fight Jill sacrificed herself to save Chris’s life. 

Chris started doing mission after mission because her body was never found, and he made a name for himself, he became a ‘legend’ inside BSAA and you can see that in the beginning of RE5.

The reason behind the muscles was probably to fight Wesker mano to mano but still is not well made, it really felt weird playing for the first time. 

So now we have a problem here, there is thing that you use in a narrative that is to make someone strong af powerless, and they did that to Jill. (a good example of this is in TWD- Ricky is a fucking legend and Negan made him powerless in the face of a event) 

Jill was used in a Boss fight and that is it... She is not in the game as a character, she is being manipulated and her whole design was changed, she looks like Nina from Tekken. WTF. - BTW, the fact that Wesker had mind control over her created 1000 fics of sex 

 So that is it, my main problem here isnt Jill itself, but it’s the fact that they used her character as a boss even tho she is the heroine, she never appears in RE lore again until some guy inside Capcom said “Well people are asking about Jill so let’s place a file in Rev2 saying that she is in rehab” 

The only time that she appears again is in a 3DS NINTENDO ONLY game, it felt that Capcom simply don’t care about her character. 

By the way Revelations 1 is a great game and was adaptable some years later for PC and consoles

But you think that this is bad, wait until we arrive at RESIDENT EVIL 6 

When I learned that Jill was not in RE6 I was mad... But after I played that game I said “thank you God” that game was bad, transformers kind of bad, it had bad writing, the lore was all over the place and Chris was the one that suffered the most in this game. 

He was responsible for the death of an entire squad, suffered amnesia and people still wanted him in the command 

THEY MADE HIM AN ALCOHOLIC 

The golden boy of BSAA reduced to THIS. 

By the way, the director said that HE WANTED TO KILL CHRIS IN THIS GAME to SUBVERT EXPECTATIONS - so if you liked Piers now that he died only because of that. 

So now let’s analyse what we know: 

The first 2 main characters are not well represented in media until RE6, they don’t know how to re introduce Jill in the games and Chris was reduced to a normal guy at a Russian bar;

But it gets worse... 

Capcom LOVE Leon, we know that. he is always the hero, he is the protagonist in almost every movie and he is always the cool guy so when he get’s a new model, he looks like this:

But When Chris get’s a new face he look like this: 

WHO DAFUQ ARE U, no offense to the model but he has NEGATIVE JAW LINE.

And still he doesn't look like Claire’s brother, there is no blue/green eyes and he looks younger that he was in 6 (and 6 still uses that ugly character model) 

But let’s go in the lore- we HAVE 0 info on Jill in RE6 / RE7 and no sight of her in RE8 

And speaking of which, they tried to make Chris the bad guy in the trailer so when we play we see “Ohhhh he was not the bad guy, that happened and that is why he did that” 

But still... 

If they are going to do that to his character don’t use this character, shit ! Do something with that Wesker’s son that made 0 sense in RE6 but leave Chris out of this - it really feels that they simply don’t know how to treat him right

And you may think that I may be complaining a lot because of his appearance

But this is him in RE8  

(to me this is some random dude from Russia) 

And this is him in RE:Verse (that is going to be release TOGETHER) 

So this tells me that they have 0 clue of how to handle his looks

Jill got RE3Rmk but it felt like a cheap game compared to RE2Rmk where the original RE3 was SO MUCH BETTER

And this is bad because there are so many new fans joining the fandom only to see 2 great characters suffering from poor director’s choices. 

I’m sorry about this rant, if you like Chris face and looks its okay, really, but dont tell me that Chris from 5/6/8 is the same from 1/CV and if you think im wrong about Jill its fine, but she is an amazing character that could have so much more impact in RE universe (I mean, she never even appeared in a RE movie - animations) 

But it’s sad to see so many characters that receive good representation in media and good games/lore while Jill get’s almost none and Chris is handled like random face guy. 

I was going to talk a little bit more about Rev 1 and RE Umbrella Chronicles but there is no need since Im mad right now and it seems that Capcom has 0 interest in making Code Veronica and Umbrella’s fall after that since their fav boy Leon need a rmk in RE4 even tho RE4 is not that old. 

Bonus:

Fun fact: Chris served in the Air force, so yeah, to me even Tom Cruise looks more like Chris than Chris from the games

[parappah]

sasuke makes me feel like.... you would match with him on tinder right. he looks pretty cute in his pictures but his bio isn't really saying anything special and he looks like he has the personality of a mailbox but maybe it'll be different once i actually talk to him right. he messages you first surprisingly and he just says "Hey" and you're like omg.... hey. and you guys just carry out some really basic small talk like hey where do you work, are you in school, etc. he gives really straightforward and kinda boring answers he just doesnt seem like he's doing much. he's not in school he doesn't have a job but you know. you can't really have your standards too high right now simply because of the fact that you were on tinder in the first place. anyway, you and sasuke text over the next couple weeks and its still dry and you usually have to text him first but you figure its just because he's shy and maybe he'll be different once you guys meet in real life. so you guys plan to go out to a restaurant and eat on a friday night and he comes to pick you up at your place but he doesn't get out of his car to greet you which makes you go like.... ok... that's a little weird and also bad manners but you brush it off. you get in his car and say hello and he says hey and on the radio he's playing like some chill lofi hip hop study beats and he doesn't have spotify premium so the ads would play between the songs kind of ruining the chill immersion he was probably going for. anyway, not much is said during your drive to the restaurant but you figure it's just because he's focused on driving and you think he looks pretty cute and you're lowkey relieved that he's not a catfish or anything like that. anyway you guys get to the restaurant right and you guys sit down you order your food ggs and he still isn't really talking that much and he only says things when you ask him a question which is kind of... ok... maybe he's just being shy and you feel like you should just stop being paranoid and just act like a normal person because hello not everyone is the same as you maybe he just needs more time to open up. He cracks a few smiles and jokes throughout the rest of your dinner which greatly relieves you but you still dont feel like you can be fully yourself yet because you know this is just the first date. After dinner he asks if you want to go back to his apartment and hang out and you’re like okay sure even though you know in the back of your mind that its dangerous but he doesnt give you like. Direct serial killer vibes outright and you’re lowkey thinking about texting your best friend to prepare the photos that are going to show up on your episode of 60 minutes just in case. You guys go back to his apartment and its a pretty okay looking place not much furniture but it seems pretty typical for a guy’s apartment. You guys sit next to each other on the couch and he turns on the tv you guys start watching some netflix he doesn’t even ask what you feel like watching and he turns on a show you’ve never seen before and that he’s in the middle of season 5 of but you feel like if you just sit and listen you can get the gist of what’s happening. You start to feel really uncomfortable just laying on the couch in your jeans bc you’re wearing jeans it’s just not comfortable to wear jeans while you’re just chilling so it’s hard to relax sitting there with a guy you’ve basically just met chilling on his couch in jeans. You decide to let your guard down a little bit and lay your head on his shoulder and he lays his head down on yours too and you’re just like okay great it seems like he’s into this and you’re just feeling reassured somewhat due to this small gesture. He puts his arm around you. More reassurance. Then out of the blue he mentions that his roommates aren’t there tonight and if you want to go back to his bedroom and you’re like okay sure not really thinking it through that much but like. You know exactly whats about to happen. A small wave of excitement washes over your brain a bit bc its been a while since you’ve had any intimacy and you’re somewhat curious about what this guy has to offer even though you know how you’ll probably feel afterwards. Anyway. You guys pretty much fuck. But it feels like you’re fucking someone who’s in the other room. He’s not a particularly bad fuck he has a pretty nicely average size/looking dick but you just dont feel him. There’s no emotion you cant tell what he’s feeling it just feels like. Yes theres a guy here he’s fucking me but thats it. Who is this man why am i here i dont even think he knnows my last name and i dont even know his last name either but i do know that he mentioned a friend of his named naruto. Anyway after you guys finish sasuke looks over and asks if you’re okay because you’ve been really quiet and you say yeah everythings fine your stomach just hurts from your dinner earlier which is partially true since you had some spicy food earlier and you can handle your spice pretty well but since you’ve been so on edge the entire night you kinda feel it doing the works on your stomach. He asks if you want to spend the night but it doesnt sound like he actually wants you to spend the night it just sounds like he’s asking out of politeness because it’s not super polite to just cum in someone and then kick them out directly after but you say that nah you have some plans early in the day tomorrow and you should probably just go home. He says aight and then grabs his keys and drives you back to your apartment and as you’re getting out of his car he gives you the softest “see ya” where you can just slightly feel some emotion in his voice but it just doesnt quite reach it. Anyway you go inside you go straight to your room and get in your pajamas and you just curl up and cry. Even though he wasn’t particularly a bad guy but his frigid demeanor just sent you off a little bit and the emotionless sex at the end was really the icing on the cake. And you just kind of feel empty and used like wow did i really just fuck a guy that i just met on tinder 2 weeks ago i feel like such a whore. You text your friends in the group chat what happened and they reassure you that you are in fact, not a whore. You and sasuke text a few times over the next week or so just to keep up appearances out of politeness even though you both know good and well that you’re not compatible. You dont ghost each other or anything like that you guys are still friends on snapchat and follow each other on instagram and you watch his snapchat stories and he watches yours but you just never really talk to each other again but every time you come across him on social media you’re just reminded of that really uncomfortable night

anyway thats how i feel about sasuke

[simpz-art-stash]

A friendship poisoned by bad blood between brothers.

Day 4 - Poison for Starsfic’s prompt list!

Have a lil fic from the rp which inspired these drawings <3

Fang had of course went the same route as she usually did via cloud. Picking up Mei and telling her to wait atop one of the nearby skyscrapers. That she'd stay connected with her via phone call to allow her to listen in just in case. And that she'd call for her help if it felt like backup was needed.

Hopefully that would not end up being needed.

But the closer she approached the peak of the tower, the more her instincts were screaming at her to bail. She could only chalk it up to nerves at that point.

Just seeing his blurry silhouette in the distance waiting for her left her a lil uneasy as she approached.

Red stopped pacing when he caught her approaching. He glared silently at her, trying to look mean. However, the pained look in his eye made the effect more akin to constipation.  

"You have 1 minute to convince me I shouldn't just throw you from this roof." He said, hoping she'd be combative and he could explode on her.

"Well you're lively as ever.." Her brows furrowed a little, at least he didn't look like a dead mess inside like she did. Though he did look like he'd been put through a few restless cycles... Stepping off the cloud, her eyes barely glanced around to the garden, her sights set on him. Everything put back as it were as if their little scuffle hadn't happened at all. She stopped a few feet from him, looking just as uncomfortable to be there. "I need you're help. There's something ancient and evil lurking beneath the city working with Spider Queen. And someone told me that you've dealt with it before..." She claimed. "I'm not looking to reforge what we had because I know you're right. That we can't be together...But I was hoping at the very least..that maybe just for this, we could truce?" She looked at him hopefully.

"You're coming to me to help defeat the Spider Queen yet again?? Are you serious!? Are you all REALLY so INCOMPETENT that you cannot just handle her for once!? She's not even that strong of a demon, she just keeps getting lucky!" He snapped.  "Why don't you go ask your ole daddy to save the day on this one?? I've got better things to do!" If she would just leave, get angry and run off, he wouldn't have to....

She grimaced at him blowing up at her. Any other day she'd hardly find it all that hurtful to listen to him rage his frustrations into the air about her. But then he had to go and make things personal. And she only barely manged to keep her composure at him throwing her dad into the mix like that. "My dad's missing Red...I can't.." She sighed, crossing her arms as she glared at the ground. "Interesting." A voice of static crackled to life in one of his ears. His father's voice. "Proceed with what we discussed." Red winced at the static in his ear, but tried to pass it off. "Your... dad is missing?" He asked slowly. "UuuuUUGHHH!! FINE! Just... fine, let's sit down, have a drink, and talk it out, Monkey Princess." He waved her to follow over to the table. He reached under and brought out the drink. Rather spicy water, even for him. Ancient and potent looking. He must really feel bad about their break up...

She shot him a glance, almost a little surprised to see him succumb to her words. Honestly thinking he would've told her to just 'get over it' or 'who cares'. This only stoked what little hope she had for them. She breathed out a little, "Thank you.." Before she made her way over with him, sitting herself down opposite to him. Though she'd abstained from drinking for as long as she could, all the stress was just begging her mental status to relax.

He poured the drinks white she was settling, slightly obscured to her when he did. 'Better you than me,' he thought as he dropped in the poison. This was a mantra he'd adopted over the centuries when he started to feel bad about the things he did. This was the first time he didn't quite believe it. He picked up the glasses and handed the poisoned one to her. He sat across from her and took a bigger drink from his than he ever normally would, needing this for courage not to knock the glass from her hands. To her, it would just seem that their falling out was harder on him than he let on.... which was true.  Evidenced by him  brushing a finger over his old facial scar, something he didn't even realize he did when he was anxious. "So what in the realms could POSSIBLY have you worried about that self-important pestilence infesting the sewers calling herself a queen?" He FINALLY asked.

Though a part of her wanted nothing more than to just drink the night away like it were any other, she knew they had more important business. And considered that through the end of it that maybe it would be better to simply savor what she could of what time they had. Opting for once to speak over her drinking for the first time in a while. "She's working with someone..someone a lot more powerful. An ancient demon with dark magic..." She contemplated aloud, "We think it might've been what gave her the boost she had when she tried to take over the city the first time..but we're not sure." She glanced at him. "You feel it too though don't you? The city has been restless for weeks...something worse is coming." He winced when she didn't immediately start drinking.  He did contemplate about the city being restless.  "I thought that was just me being a surly bastard." He tilted his head in thought.  But now that she mentioned it, yes, for once, it did seem to effect more than just him. He sighed and sat back, swirling his glass, looking bitterly into it.  "That would make sense, I suppose.  That something bigger than her would be what's allowing her to be more effective at her job than usual." Fang nodded a little, "We've got a name to her but..we're unsure of just how strong she really is. She's managed to put a curse on my brother..an lead my father down a path even I can trace him back to..she calls herself 'The Lady Bone Demon." There was a bit of an avid silence between them before that same gravely tone crackled to life in his ear, "Interrogate her on this enemy." If she wasn't going to off herself then to them then they might as well gain any intel they can on this enemy.

"Lady Bone Demon..." He furrowed his brow, not needing to be prompted by his father one bit on this.  "It seems like a familiar name, maybe I've come across her in my research." he shook his head.  "But do go on, please." he waved, urging her to divulge everything. "Someone did say that you've dealt with her before. It's why I arranged this meeting in the first place..they claimed that you 'dug' her up from the 'pits of hell.'" She pointed out, not really sure how true it was but she wanted to cover her source as he'd claimed he wanted no part in anything regarding it all. "I'm not pointing you at fault whatsoever, I don't think you'd purposely let someone loose like that just to give them the upper hand...I'm just going on the only lead I have at this point.." She claimed. Red Son's brow furrowed at that, and he wondered how closely his family was listening.  It had indeed been the Demon Bull Family to dig up this menace from the depths of the earth. "That's... That sounds like the ancient energy that my father had us dig from the earth... The one that possessed him.  The soul reason we blighted our names to team up with the Monkey King and Nyoodle Boy.  But we defeated that!  Noodle Boy dealt the killing blow!" So he had dealt with it before. "Apparently he didn't finish her like you thought he did, because she's underneath the city working to off us all." Fang stated, "All the signs are there, and this proves it." He shook his head, cursing his father's arrogance under his breath.  Not that Red would have done anything different, in fact he was one to help dig the spirit up, proud to help his father in his glorious purpose.  However, he was still sore that his father had turned on him and his mother, even if his mother had forgiven DBK. "So now this horrible power that possessed my father, nearly killed me, and already nearly destroyed everything anyone holds dear, is BACK?  With the Spider Queen of all people, that DOES explain how that little gnat took the city!" he growled and was on his feet.  "So?? What are you doing about it? What sort of measures are you taking to combat this?" She blinked a little in surprise at his sudden boisterous attitude, well at least he was putting his anger towards something more worthwhile instead of taking it out on her. "Weeell..we've got someone currently scoping out the sewers looking for them, in hopes that we'll be able to find out exactly where they are. We've also been looking for any manner of history regarding them, or any relic's that might be of use to us for this specific demon. As well as any other allies..but we haven't had much luck..we're sort of on our own here an I..well can I just be honest with you? I have no idea what the hell I'm doing..." Red had been pacing, but when she got down and honest with him, he stopped. He looked back at her, seeing the scared, vulnerable girl that she didn't let out much to anyone. She'd been working so hard to stop this, and she was floundering, and destined to fail. Maybe it would be kinder of him to end her. Maybe this was for the best. He came back and sat down, nearer to her. "Well. I suppose that..." he sighed. "Dont worry your monkey head about this. I will do everything in my power to stop this demon, then. Not for you!" He quickly amended, remembering his parents listening. "But to avenge my family's honor! Take down anything that thinks it could possibly be greater than the Demon Bull Family! The audacity of this Lady Bonehead." Hus ears were blowing out a tiny bit of steam after his fit of passion. And though it might've made sense to him that it would be best to truce in hopes of taking down such a powerful ancient enemy. His father apparently thought it just as much of a mockery the second time around than the first. Where Red saw logic, Bullking saw the only fleeting chance he had to finally one up his oldest enemy and lose what footing he could to overtaking the city. He didn't need the aid of ANYONE, the Spider Queen had simply gotten the jump on him. But he knew now that was just because of some devious relic. And he wasn't about to tarnish the family name further. So again he had to remind his son who was really making the demands here. "Remember your place child." He warned him, "If you value what little sliver of loyalty you have towards you're family you will do as I say. And follow through with your mission." A small chuckle escaped Fang then, and a tear almost would've escaped her had she not hid it by brushing back her bangs. "That's probably the most relieving thing I've heard all week..." She smiled at him, that glimmer of hope in her eyes in knowing he had her back. Her hand raising her glass to him as a toast, "May we both be victorious in the end." He felt his blood run cold at his dad's chastisement.  He knew he wasn't likely to be spared should DBK's wrath overflow.  His father had proven time and again that he was more or less expendable. He had a good upbringing, though, and raised his glass to her as well.  "May victory smile on the Demon Bull Family." he made as if to drink, but waited to be sure she was drinking first. Then he slammed his drink, standing up.  "We'll take it from here.  Just rest." he told her, brow twitching in dismay. She took her shot then, her face scrunching a bit at just how strong the after burn of it was before she sighed. "Thanks...I really needed this.." A tired smile stared down at the now empty glass, never the wiser. "I mean it..even if we'll never be able to speak to each other ever again after this. And pretend we hate each other's guts. I'll always cherish those moments spent between us all those years ago...Just so you know..in case something happens to you." She stated her claim, before slowly standing herself upright. "I'll always be here for you man." Oh sure. She was just going to twist the knife in his gut.  Curse these goodie two shoes and their sentimentality!  And she was outing him more and more to his family!  He should have used a stronger poison.  What if the alcohol nullified its effects?? "I will genuinely miss you.  Forgive me that I don't have your back..." he hunched his shoulders, thinking quickly.  His parents didn't have a visual on them, just an audio link, as far as he knew. Before her eyes, he started his agitated pacing yet again.  And suddenly, he yanked something out of his ear throwing it to the ground and crushing it under his boot.  "I'm so sorry Fang..." She tilted a little at his sudden abruptness to it all, having wondered if he was just getting misty at her being so forward of just how much she'd miss him. But watching his jerking motions prompted a bit of confusion to her. "What're you?-" Then there was a cough that escaped her, and looking back at her would reveal her holding a hand to her throat with a look of discomfort. As if trying to breathe only for further coughing to escape her. "Red?.." She wheezed a little, staring at him with a confused look. He paced a little more, trying to think of anything he could do to stop this.  Any antidote.  But there wasn't one, that's why they had chosen it.  At the cough, he froze.  "My father was going to kill me if I didn't--" was all the explanation he offered, before biting down hard on his tongue and turning his back to her.  Poisoning was one of his least favorite ways of killing someone.  Too personal, too up close.  Imprecise and messy.  This was DBK's own way of torturing Red, by choosing such a horrible demise. He couldn't look at her, and he turned his back, holding his head up.  "I'll take care of things from here.  Just rest." he repeated.  He tried to look dignified but he was close to throwing up. Further coughing ensued, her fighting just to get any ounce of air in her lungs at that point. Her mind finding it hard to focus on his words but she heard him, and she felt a sharp panic drop in her stomach as a swelling heat rose in her core. "W-what did you-" She tried to get another word in, trying to edge around the table to meet him, but found her limbs betraying her and forcing her to collapse on the ground with a cry. Tears pricked her eyes at the surge of heat that was becoming overbearingly hot within her. Like she'd just eaten a demon pepper, only it was causing her to lose every manner of senses and replace it with pure hellfire. Where all she could do was grip at her chest in agony and let out a wrenching noise as she bellowed out a pleading cry. But that wasn't the only thing that bellowed out of her right then, a plume of red smog began to leak from her nose and mouth. Only furthering her suffering as she choked on it all, unable to breathe in nothing more than the pure rage inducing concoction she'd had forced upon her. A sickened snarl escaped her right then as one of her hands gripped at the ground, clawing at it enough to leave marks buried into the concrete that had forged it. And though her breath was shallow, it warped in comparison to the haunting fury that now laced her breath. "What did you do to me?!!" She screamed. He tried to be cold and cool, aloof the way his mother had taught him to be.  A strong man, not a quivering, weak boy.  But when he heard her collapse on the ground choking he let out a pained cry of his own, ducking his head and covering his ears.  He should have just let his father kill him.  It would have been preferable to this!  His only friend choking to death behind him.  His eyes squeezed shut, causing tears to fall that he hadn't realized even welled up. The last scream made his blood run cold, a particularly horrid sensation for a man so hot.  Something was different about her voice at a primal level, and it caused him to spin around to face her.  Any pretense he had held before this point was gone, and his face was just that of a sick, scared child.  "Fang!" Another pained cry left her curled in on herself as she almost looked like she was having a stroke. But that couldn't of been farther from the truth as a wicked sense of something horrid radiated off of her, like a mix of dark magic and death. A whimper escaped her as her fur began to warp from its pure sunshine blonde to a morbidly dark black, her hands involuntarily flexing in on themselves as she let out a haggard breath. "I trusted you..." It was low, warped and hollow, and through it all somehow she forced herself up onto her knees. If not to just look back at him with a look he'd only seen her wear the first time they'd met when he'd fought for his life and given her that horrid scar of hellfire. A look a pure primal rage.

[xmalereader]

Thomas Shelby X Male Reader

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|| Masterlist ||

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Requested: Heya, can i request a thomas shelby one where the reader is new to the gang and Thomas starts getting feelings for him but tries to suppress it until they have to go on a dangerous mission and the reader gets hurt? Love your writings and hope you have a great day❤

Warnings: Language, blood, slight angst, some fluff, reader being sweet, Thomas being protective.

Tags: @ravnulfjohansen

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“Protection?! We don’t need any bloody protection!” Ada shouts at Thomas, slamming her hand on the table as she glared at her older brother.

The Shelby’s were having a family meeting, lately things have been getting dangerous. Thomas has been making deals with other gangs and he may or may not have betrayed a few, so now he needs to focus on his family’s safety.

“Ada this is for your safety,” he glanced at Polly and then back at ada. “Polly will also have protection.”

Polly chokes out a laugh. “I’m sorry? I can protect myself Thomas, I don’t need protection.” She clarified, taking Sip from her drink as she frowns deeply.

Thomas sighs deeply as he rubs his temples. “He’ll only be following you and keeping a close eye, I trust this man and I know that he’ll complete this job.”

“Who is this man?” Said Polly with a raised brow.

Thomas gives her a look before sitting back in his chair, he knows that he shouldn’t have said anything. Not only is he trying to protect Polly and Ada but he’s also putting someone that he cares deeply for in danger.

“An old friend.” He simply says as he stands up from his chair and collects his cigars. “Tomorrow morning you’ll be meeting him here, he’ll be around to guard you two and he’ll report to me in case anything is to happen.” He explains to his sister and aunt who only huff in annoyance.

“Until tomorrow.” He repeats hismelf and leaves the room. He adjusted his cap and steps outside where he takes in a large inhale of fresh air.

“I wouldn’t really breath in this disgusting air, it could kill you.”

Thomas turns his head to face the source of the new voice, his lips slowly twitch up into a smile. “Y/n.” He says in a soft voice.

“Thomas.” The other replies as he approaches him and stands close to his side. His eyebrows raise as he examines Tommy’s face and hums. “I take it that your sister and aunt didn’t like the idea of me being around, huh?”

Tommy’s smile fades away into a frown. “No.”

Y/n lets out a deep sigh and rubs his hands together. “Don’t worry, I know they hate this idea but maybe I can get on their good side? It’s my job to protect your family, I promised you that I would.” He gives Thomas shoulder a pat, smiling widely at him.

Thomas could only stare at the younger man. He knows that y/n can protect his family but he’s mostly worried about him. The two have been friends for years and no one in his family knows about it! He was afraid of getting him involved with his family problems.

But he can’t refuse y/n when he needs his help.

“Why are you packing?” Thomas suddenly asks as he enters y/n’s flat, taking notice of the packing as y/n bites his lip nervously and moves around his room, grabbing small stuff and putting them inside his suitcase.

“Do you remember my job back at the post office?” He asks as Thomas nods, tossing his coat on the bed and taking a seat.

“Well, turns out that they didn’t need me anymore so they decided to fire me.” He explains his situation to Thomas who sat quietly on the bed. “I still had some money left to pay off for my room but I slowly started to run out, I’ve been looking for a new place and a new job for awhile now but I’ve gotten nothing!” His voice starts to raise. “I don’t have a choice but to move to the country side...I called my brother and he said that he had an extra room for me, told me that I could stay their until I find a job.”

“So, you’re leaving?” Said Thomas as y/n stops mid pack, turning to look at Thomas. He notices the sad look in his eyes, causing him to give off a small sad smile. “Tommy...” he approaches him and places a hand over Thomas’s bigger ones. “I can’t stay here, I can barley afford this place.” He whispers out.

“Stay with me, I have enough room back at my place.” Thomas suddenly says as y/n shakes his head. He didn’t want to be a bother and he defiantly didn’t want to surprise Tommy’s family with him being around. “I don’t want to be a bother.”

“You won’t be.” Thomas pulls him close, wrapping an arm around his waist as he pulls him onto his lap, causing a dark blush to appear on y/n cheeks. “Thomas, even if I stay with you—id still need to find a job.”

“I’ll give you a job.”

“W—what?” Y/n eyes widen.

“You know what I do and I trust you, I trust your loyalty and I know you’ll be perfect for it.” Thomas lies his head against his chest as y/n ran his fingers through his hair. “I’m going to be honest, I’m not really good with money.” He chuckled out tiredly as Thomas smiles against his chest. “You won’t be doing that.” He muffled out as y/n rasies a brow. “Then what will I be doing?”

Thomas lifts his head up. “You Can become my sister and aunts guard, keep them safe while I’m gone doing business.”

“Oh, Tommy I don’t—“

“I’ve seen you fight, you’ve taken down people twice your size and you know how to handle a gun.”

Y/n blushes a little and sighs deeply. “Fine, but I make my own rules.”

This causes Thomas smile to widen a bit more. “Deal.”

He remembers that night clearly, the two planning out everything in case anything bad was to happen. All y/n was suppose to do was keep a close eye on his aunt and sister and not get in the way of any of their little ‘activities’.

“Promise me you’ll be safe.” Said Thomas while y/n chuckles. “I can handle myself and a pair of girls Thomas! No need to get worried.” He gives Thomas a smile. “Things will be okay, I promise.”

But things were not okay.

The day that y/n was meant to guard the girls was the same day that a few of Tommy’s own men decided to betray him and use the girls as bait, but of course the first thing they had to do was get rid of the guard, which was y/n.

On that same day he actually got to know Polly and Ada a bit more and the two actually liked him in return. He was a stunning man and a caring one, he spoke softly to the two and offered to carry their things when they bought new stuff. He was a gentleman and the two adored it, they thought he was special since most men weren’t like that anymore.

The girls decided on having some tea outside the shop where they can enjoy their day while y/n stood next to the small table, smiling at the girls as he listens to them gossip about their family. “Thomas is always making us stay in the shop, do you know how frustrating it is having to deal with cranky men?” Said Ada To her aunt as she rolls her eyes and lights a cigar. “Men are always rude when it comes to betting.” She says in return.

Y/n chuckles to himself which catches pollys attention. She looks up at him and smiles, “of course not you y/n, your different.” She points out as y/n shakes his head. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to eavesdrop.” He quickly apolgizes but Polly waves her hand. “Dont apologize!” She says. “To be honest, I wonder why tommy chose you as our personal guard? He said that he trusts you.” She sits up in her chair, leaning forward as she rests her elbows in the tables. “Theirs something about you that tommy likes.”

Y/n feels himself grow anxious, both him and Thomas have been friends for years and the way they first met was very weird and childish, you could say but through out the years he’s grown to love tommy. But of course he couldn’t tell him that, he didn’t want to lose the friendship they had.

“Tommy’s a good friend...he helped me when I needed it the most and I’m greatful for that.” He’s quick to tell Polly. Hoping that she doesn’t figure out about his unrequited love.

Polly can only stare, letting out a puff of smoke as she grins and slowly sits back. “Whatever you say, darling.”

Y/n rasies a brow and tilts his head. What was that suppose to mean?

He opens his mouth to ask something but is cut off by a car approaching. He looks up to see Thomas and his brothers exiting the vehicle, his eyes scan the brothers and notices the hint of blood smeared in their clothes. Once his gaze turns to Thomas the two make eye contact, causing y/n to smile a little at Thomas. Glad that he’s okay.

Smiling at Thomas, he notices a strange man approaching them from behind. It causes him to squint his eyes a little, noticing the gun the man was holding as realization hits him. His eyes widen in fear as he takes a step forward.

“Thomas.” He calls out softly as the man raised his gun up and aims at tommy from behind.

Y/n has no time to process things as he sprints towards Thomas, grabbing him by the arm and shoving him to the side. Causing the other to stumble back as a gunshot is heard.

It takes Thomas a few seconds to notice y/n’s limp body in the ground. His fears becoming a reality. “Y/n...y/n?!” He shouts out in worry as he crawls to his side and slowly turns him on his side to see a gun wound on his shoulder. “Fuck!” He curses out in anger as he looks around.

His brothers were dealing with the man that shot him while Polly and Ada rush to side. “Oh my god.” Polly tries to take y/n from Thomas but he wasn’t letting go, he couldn’t.

“Thomas we need to lie him down and stop the bleeding, you have to let him go.” Said Ada as she stares at her older brother, noticing the fear in his eyes as she slowly pried him off y/n. “Finn has already called for an ambulance, they’ll be on their way.” She explains, using a part of her dress to apply pressure onto the wound.

Thomas can only stare in horror, “is he—is he breathing?” He asks, his voice shaking in fear. Ada takes notice of that as well and makes a quick check, “he’s still alive...but he needs a hospital quick or else he won’t make it.” She turns to her aunt and brother.

Polly looks anxious as she turns to Thomas only to see him sitting back, he was growing dizzy and faint. His vision was slowly going dark as he hears his aunts cries, feeling her hands on his shoulders as she tries to keep him up but that didn’t seem to work. “Y/n.” He looks over at his friends limp body as Ada begins to scream his name, trying to bring him back to reality but it was alreayd too late. His vision suddenly goes dark as he falls back on the floor.

“Tho—“

“Thoma—“

He can hear his name being called.

“Thomas!”

He’s quick to open his eyes, staring at his aunt who stood Over him. A drink in hand as she sighs in relief, “finally you’re awake.” She says as Thomas groans. He slowly sits up from the couch and asks. “Where’s y/n?” He remembers everything that happened today, all of the anxiety that he had suddenly comes rushing back.

Polly sits next to him and hands him the drink. “In the hospital, doctor said that he’ll be awake soon, Just needs time to rest and to heal.” She explains as tommy takes the drink from her and chugs the whole thing down.

Polly watches Thomas closely as she takes the empty glass from him and sets it down on the coffee table. “Y/n.” She suddenly says, catching Tommy’s attention. “That boy, he’s caring and loving.” She mumbles out. “He told me that you two were friends, but I know that’s a lie.” She slowly turns to give Thomas a look that he knew far too well.

“So tell me, what is y/n to you?”

Thomas can only look away, not wanting to answer his aunt but he knows that he’ll have to tell her how he really felt or else she’ll force it out of him. The two have been friends for as long as he can remember, the two helped each other out. Y/n taught him how to be free without having to fear, he taught him what love really was. He was their when Thomas needed someone and when he had breakdowns that no one else knew, He was special to him he’s—

“—my everything.” He randomly blurts out.

Pollys eyes soften as she stands up and collects her things. “Then you tell him that, he’s a sweet boy and I can tell that he means a lot to you, Thomas.” She approaches her nephews side and placed a hand in his cheek, stroking his cheek like a loving mother would. “When he wakes up, you tell him how you feel and be happy.” She whispers, placing a soft kiss on his head. “Now rest, will visit the hospital Tomorrow. I told John and Arthur to stand guard at the hospital in case anything were to happen.”

Tommy’s eyebrows knit together. “Do they know?” He asks Polly who shakes her head. “I doubt your brothers know a thing, hell they could barley figure out that Michael was their cousin when they first met him.” She says, a bit disappointed that her own nephews couldn’t recognizes their own cousin.

“Get some rest Tommy, I don’t want you out of this place until morning.” She warns with a pointer finger as tommy groans, leaning his head back, he was still worried for y/n and he wanted to see him and make sure that he was really okay.

“Thomas.”

He hears his aunts voice and looks up to see her with a soft look in her eyes. “He’ll be okay.” She says, Immediately knowing what he was thinking as she gives him one last smile and leaves the room.

[bedtimebrain]

EXO Baekhyun: Cry for Love Part 1

Boldly writing this very unlikely scenario about baek. Part of me just feels like there might be a part of baek that might be in such a situation if he ever feels so deeply for someone that is not be able to handle the stress of dating an idol.

Using the song title of one of my favourite songs from his latest album for this~ there’s going to be 2 parts(hopefully not 3), and just a disclaimer the ending might not be fluff, so don’t get started if you’re not prepared !

Edit: Part 2 is up! (No part 3 tho, thankfull)

Part 2

Characters: Baek x You

Baekhyun finds himself falling for you, but feels he cannot be so selfish to put the burdens of dating an idol upon you. In an attempt to control his feelings, he tries to stay away from you

Standing across the narrow road opposite to Wendy Cafe, Baekhyun looked intently inside, with a sort of sourness at the back of his throat. This is at least 5th time this guy has been here, and it’s been the second time this week already. His inner self was literally scowling at that thought, but what could he do?

His phone that vibrated in his pocket called him out of his thoughts. It was a call from his manager, asking him to return to the SM building.

Taking one last look at you, at the guy, and at the cafe, he placed both his hands back in his pocket, head facing down and walked back to where his car was.

During the ride back, he thought long and hard, was this the right thing to do?  Just 4 months ago, was the first step into the cafe the beginning to this unwanted path ?

He can’t help but replay once again all that started 4 months ago...

——

‘Bye! See you next week!’

Ending his gym session for the week, baekhyun headed for the carpark, eager to get there quickly. Today, he was to be home for a family dinner.

He had been up till late yesterday, practicing and preparing for EXO’s new album. With just 4hours of sleep, his ruined body clock woke him up in time for a gym session in the afternoon. Beating himself to be disciplined so that he can show his best image to Eris during the comeback, he got himself to the gym. 

But now, the sweat from the gym session coupled with his sleep debt, was making him feel extra sleepy.

Needing some caffeine in his system, he stopped his car by the roadside to search up coffee houses nearby. Scrolling through, Starbucks -too crowded , dal.kom- he was not a fan , Daebak Coffee and Tea - seems very popular among reviews, Wendy Cafe - no reviews.

Feeling it’s best to avoid crowded cafes on a Friday afternoon, he decided to give Wendy Cafe a try. Following the voice of Google maps, he found himself along a narrow road, secluded and outcasted from the bustling roads just 2 minutes ago.

‘Am I at the right place? Why would someone open a cafe here?’ He loudly spoke in a typical monologue with himself

Just as he was about to give up, a small signboard peeked out from the brick wall stretching along the road.

‘Ah yes, found you! I hope I didn’t make the wrong choice’

After parking his car, he crossed the road to the cafe.

Wendy’s Cafe was clad in wood and white, wooden tables, white chairs, surrounded by grey walls. It was so small only about 6 people could be seated by the tables. To make up for it, a counter-side table was made available and soft music played in the background. Walking in, Baekhyun felt a comfortable sense of peace and relax.

‘Hello, 1 Ice Americano please’

‘Hello, that will be $5.. omo’ Just as you looked up at him, you were shocked to recognise him as Baekhyun from EXO. But you quickly recovered in time, taking the money from him and continued your chores.

Seeing that you have recognised him, he nodded politely. He appreciated your politeness and professionalism to not overreact. And proceed to wait patiently for his coffee.

‘Thank you, have a nice day’ you smiled brightly at him and handed the coffee over.

Just then, it started pouring heavily outside, stopping Baekhyun in his tracks.

‘Should I drive back now ? It’s a long journey back and it’s raining so heavily ...’ he thought

‘Do you want to wait out the rain instead? It’s not too safe to drive in such heavy rain. No one comes here on rainy days, I can put out the close sign for you if you like’ 

You asked rather sincerely 

Looking out again at the rain, he weighed his choices. He was going to be drenched if he crossed the road but what if you were one of those fans that would expose where he was to everyone? 

He was feeling a little suspicious inside, afterall why would you close the shop to business just for him?

‘You can take the table furthest away from the window if you’re worried’

He looked at you, judging a book by it’s cover. And decided it doesn’t appear like you would turn out to be one of those crazy fans and took the option of waiting out the rain. 

His phone was running out of battery, so instead of sitting by the corner table all bored and lonely, Baekhyun sat on the bar counter table instead; facing you and the other male employee who were busy with fresh bakes.

You presented a bite size muffin on a white plate and gave it over to him. ‘It’s on the house, we’re not going to have any more customers anyway’

Being curious since the start, he asked ‘why would your boss open a cafe right here? It’s really not the best location to be attracting people right?’

Laughing slightly, you replied

‘My boss? That would be me, and does this cafe look like I want to attract people in? The tables are all for 2s, I’m just encouraging solitude here’

‘You own this place? Wow I would suppose you’re only in your early 20s right? Anyway this place does give a sense of quietness that we dont quite get outside. I like it’ He lively replied

‘Yeah, I just wanted people that come by to be able to stop and find quietness they don’t get anywhere else. Finding time for themselves to be away from noisy city life just a few minutes away’

Not really having anything to say to that deep thought of yours, he simply replied ‘Ahh... I see. Uh, thanks for muffin, it smells tasty’

You smiled politely and left him to himself as you cleaned up the open kitchen.

The rain that was beating the ground outside was almost like a lullaby to Baekhyun. The warmth of the shop and the music aided the rain and drowsy effects he was having, shortly without knowing, he drifted to sleep. --

‘Baekhyun ssi, Baekhyun ssi’ you tapped him lightly till he woke up

‘It stopped raining, do you want to head off’

‘Oh my , can’t believe I slept, but that was certainly the quietness I need, haha. I’ll be leaving. Thank you for the coffee’

As he left, he thought to himself that he will surely be back.

—

A week later, he came back. On that day, he saw from outside that you were casually sitting down by on of the tables, chatting with a middle age office lady.

Opening the door, he caught your attention and you smiled slightly to acknowledge. As you were the only working employee today, you got up from the table to serve him.

‘Hi Baekhyun ssi, I see you’re back. Ice americano for you? Or would you like to try something else? Wendy’s special for a bright sunny day’

‘Sure I’ll go for the Wendy’s special’

Handing over the coffee to baekhyun, you asked

‘I heard EXO’s preparing for a comeback. How’s it going for you?’

‘Did you search up on EXO after you saw me last week? Hahaha. Anyway it’s fine, it’s just the discipline in diet, exercise and health that’s annoying’

‘I see. And nah, don’t make me sound like a stalker fan please. I just moderately keep up with kpop in general’

‘Anyway is the middle age lady there your friend? Or do you just chat with your customers all the time?’

‘Oh, she’s just a customer. Really depends though, some people come here seeming to have heavy thoughts, sometimes when I notice I’ll just casually chat with them. Some others are here really putting up a do not disturb sign. Those I wouldn’t bother’

Being cheeky, Baekhyun asked ‘what about me?’

You thought for a while before answering

‘Like a cat? Like those I would give some affection to before letting them run off so they don’t start scratching me. I mean not saying you would be aggressive, but rather, I’m sure a good balance of chat and quietness would be best for you’

Raising his brows and thinking through what you just said, he smiled after a while and went on sipping his Wendy’s special by the counter again. Occasionally, he would look up from his phone to chat with you.

—-

For that 1 month, it seems like he started developing a routine to drop by your cafe for short breaks. He enjoyed your company and somehow your cafe seemed like a place of comfort and refuge. With you, he could talk about anything, from the laughters to the deep insides. Over there, the burdens of being an idol is always momentarily lifted.

On the first week of the 2nd month you guys met. He dropped by again, only to find that the lights were off. A little surprised, he went up to the door which pasted a notice

‘the shop will be closed till further notice due to the owner’s personal reasons. Sorry for any inconvenience caused’

His regular high spirits whenever he came by was dampened as he read the notice. Turning back, he headed off.

The next two weeks, he drove by repeatedly, at least 2 times a week, but your shop was still closed.

It made him a little worried, did something happen to you? But seeing how you left this shop behind with just a notice also made him feel a little down, strangely. It made him think that was he nothing but just a customer to you? He had thought you guys were friends, friends with a special bond, one who he could tell everything to, and place so comfortable almost like his home sofa. But the sign that hung coolly by the cafe’s door left no sign of that friendship held.

Whenever he wasn’t working or was by himself, he pondered over what happened to you. Looking at his phone, he suddenly felt a disconnect. You both knew so many things bout each other but not each other’s numbers. There was nothing to call to reach you. Wherever you are, were you thinking about what you left behind?

He thought to himself 

let’s not be too invested into this coincidental friendship

He made up his mind, tomorrow he was going to make a final intentional trip down. If you were still closed, he told himself he would never drop by intentionally again just to check if you were open.

—-

Driving by the next day, his heart was beating fast. And was as if the heavens heard his words, the lights of your cafe were on.

The sign outside still hung closed, but he walked briskly over and stood by the door. You saw him and beckoned him inside.

‘Hey! What’s up with you? Where did you go? ’ Within him he heaved a sigh of relief, finally seeing you again. But his heart wouldn’t stop racing as he waited for your answer. Looking at your face, he can’t help but notice you’ve lost some weight, making him a little worried.

‘Hey Baekhyun ssi, it’s nice seeing you again’

You smiled at him your normal smile and there was no hint of anything extra apart from the normal customer service you gave him. Your lukewarm reply bothered him a little, was he the only one who considered you both as friends? That thought came but left quickly

‘I went home to visit my parents, unfortunately I fell ill. Pneumonia.. Got me in bed for a really long time’

‘Oh no, no wonder you lost some weight? I hope you’re feeling much better already. But you’re not opened today?’

‘Yes I just came back to tidy up this place.’

Not really wanting to leave yet, he offered to clean the place for you, also worried you might not be feeling the most recovered yet.

‘Do you want to have dinner together tonight?’ Baekhyun asked on impulse.

You looked up, a little surprise, but didn’t reject it. 

‘Probably not at restaurants or something though. Delivery , do you mind?’ He added

You were never someone who seemed bothered about such trivial things, as expected you agreed.

Over dinner Baekhyun was his chirpy self again, telling you about all he wanted to say the few weeks you guys didn’t met. You listened to him without much words, only saying words when it mattered, as usual.

As you guys were eating and chatting, there came a point where a comfortable silence settled between you both.

Till you broke it

‘Baekhyun ssi, can I share something with you?’

Though he wasn’t expecting this, he was ready to listen.

‘Go ahead’

‘When I went back, I found out my one and only best friend had died in a car accident. And no one told me because they were afraid I wouldn’t be able to handle it alone in Seoul. He.. was all I had.. when I was bullied because people thought I was weird... when I didn’t fit in... he.. he..’ you couldn’t continue as you burst into uncontrollable tears.

Handling such situations was definitely not something Baekhyun was most comfortable with. Catching him off guard, he internally panicked, Omo, what do I do. What should I say? Deciding the only appropriate thing to do was to pat your back or your head. He reached out and gently comfort you, feeling a little awkward.

After a good 3 minutes you finally calmed down. But still, Baekhyun didn’t exactly know what to say to a crying girl

‘Are you feeling better? Care for some BingBing now? Ice cream cannot solve your problems, but it’s sweet at least ’

You managed a laugh, and Baekhyun went to the kitchen fridge to pull out the ice cream that came with the dinner earlier.

On the drive home, Baekhyun decided that sometimes a friend is the ultimate remedy to sorrow. And as much as you have been there to hear him out, he wanted to pay it back to you too. 

——

But slowly, their comeback preparations were getting more and more hectic. He no longer had the liberty of time to plan what he wanted to do. But today, there was a short 2 hour interval of free time and they were free to do whatever they wanted.

Deciding between whether to crash at dance practice room or to head to your cafe, he decided to do the latter instead. Though he was feeling rather tired, it has been at least 3 weeks since he came by to say hi. He left after telling suho he’ll be back swiftly.

—

Reaching your cafe, he was surprised to see you smiling and laughing so heartily as you were chatting by the counter with a fashionable young man. When you both spoke, you were always giving him polite smiles and laughters, somewhat out of manners? It somehow hurt his pride a little that while he still thought about you when he was away, did you just think of him as a normal customer who would just come and go? It made him feel like his spot in the cafe was easily replaceable.

As he entered, you did not even break away from the conversation you have with the young man. Only until he reached the counter did you look up.

‘Ah! It’s you! It’s been really long! What would you like today ?’

‘6 Iced americanos, thank you’

‘Alright you can take a seat at the corner table first’ handing him his change , you pointed him to the one at the furthest end of the shop.

He came by having the intention to have a short catch up with you, but apart from the exchange of greetings you had pointed him so far away from the counter and busily went off to prepare the amercianos as if he really was just another customer. He laughed a little bitterly and went to sit where you told him to.

When you were done, you brought the coffee to him and dropped to a whisper suddenly.

‘Baekhyun ssi, are you doing well? Sorry I had to cut our conversation short at the counter because of the oppa sitting there. Didn’t want to bring you trouble in case I accidentally say your name’

Smacking himself on the head internally for being so sensitive earlier on, inside of him also wondered what kind of magic does that ‘oppa’ have for you to be so comfortable? The friendship has almost been 3 months but there always seem to be a strange distance between the both of you. Baekhyun knew himself that his personally was not one people found hard to warm up to and neither did he take very long to warm up to others. He was confused, how sometimes your friendship felt so close yet sometimes so far.

‘How have you been? That guy’s your new customer friend?’

‘Not too bad, I started attending some baking classes and in my free time now I just read as usual. Nothing much as changed.

Yeh he’s been coming quite often because he’s back in this area to visit his parents and there’s nothing for him to do’

‘Ahhhh so what kind of customer is he?’ He arrowhead his eyes at him then back to you.

Laughing you replied ‘ just a really funny and nonsensical kind. Kind of just reminds me of my childhood friend I told you about.... oh right, there’s something I want to give you’

Rushing to the kitchen then quickly walking out, you handed him a box. You explained

‘Baekhyun ssi that day I was at a mall and i walked by this tea shop and I dont know why,I thought about you. It’s all without caffeine. I know you’re having your comeback now and you should be really busy. I purposely picked out some that would help you sleep, some that would revitalise you and just some others that could just help you relax.

I’ve kept it for so long but you didn’t come by again. I almost just kept it for myself already.. anyway I’m glad you’re here today so I could pass it to you’

Hearing this from you really made him touched on the inside, but on the outside he didn’t really know let those emotions show. Instead, he merely said

‘Thanks y/n ssi , for thinking about me. I’ll use them well.’ Looking at his watch , he added,

‘I got to go now, see you sometime soon!’

After saying the goodbyes, Baekhyun returned to his car. Setting his Americanos aside, he held the gift in his hand and looked through his driver’s window at you.

At that very moment he finally came to terms with his feelings.

He did not just want a friendship with you, he wanted you as a partner he could tell his everything to, someone that belonged to him and someone he belonged to.

This should make him feel happy and elated, warm and fuzzy. But there was discomfort lying in his heart.

Deep down he knew that desiring anything more than a friendship with you was putting chains on you.

You liked quietness and freedom. But in his world, parts of his life are made public and his freedom was not really freedom at all.

He cannot sink deeper into this, but could he stay away ? His heart clenched.

He tossed the gift aside and drove off.

—

To be continued!!

Sorry for stopping at such an awkward place, but I couldn’t find a good place to stop this at, hahaha.

Anw, I’m sure you guys already know bout baek’s medical condition? My respect and love for baek just hit another level. I really think we are such lucky fangirls to be stanning someone like him. The effort he puts in for us is above and beyond what is required. Sigh. Baek I hope you know we really appreciate you💛

Tag(s): @wooya1224

Edit: Part 2

[writefightandflightclub]

Sink then float (Poe Dameron x GN reader)

Summary: Poe comes back from a mission to find that reader is experiencing a depressive episode, and he does what he can to take care of them while they’re sick. Hurt / comfort. Angst / slight fluff.

Author’s note: Was feeling super crappy at the start of the week (I’m ok now!) and this angst-bomb came out of me. Pleased to have finally written something, though it tackles a tough topic. I’ve tried to be as sensitive as possible while writing about depression, and while it’s something I have experienced in the past, of course it manifests differently for everyone. I have drawn on some personal experience to write this, but it is a fic. Therefore, it is necessarily outside of my direct experience, which opens up the possibility I may have gotten something wrong. Therefore, if you think there’s anything I’ve handled in a way that is harmful (even honest mistakes can be mistakes) I’m happy for you to send me an ask outlining this so I can correct and do better.

Warnings: It deals with reader in a depressive episode, and it is from reader’s POV. As such, it is pretty angsty, ngl, as reader’s thought process is in a bad place. The piece grows more hopeful as it progresses, and ends on a hopeful note, however it may still be difficult reading. I’ve actively tried to acknowledge in the text where reader’s thought-process is skewed by being sick e.g. when they say they are worthless, I’ve tried to directly counter this as it’s not objectively true. The last thing I want is for anyone to feel worse reading this, so I’ve tried not to validate reader’s most difficult thoughts (though what they’re going through is valid and it is valid for reader to be experiencing those thoughts)! That said, please take care when reading, as some of the feelings and thoughts set out may be triggering. Also, whilst there is no direct mention or suicidal thoughts or ideation, I am also warning for that, as there is some crossover in thought patterns. Ultimately, this is a fic about Poe being there to comfort reader, but reader finding that shred of hope inside themseleves, amidst feelings of hopelessness. I didn’t want to suggest that Poe could “fix” reader, so yes, they are still depressed at the end, but more comforted and hopeful than at the start. Sorry for all the warnings, but I wanted to be clear so you can make an informed decision on whether to read. Please stay safe!

GIF by @twillight​. Yowzers, it’s PRETTY AF.

There’s no poetry any more.

There are only syllables. Vowels like an orange in your mouth. Consonants rattling between your teeth. You speak only of sleep. Your words hollow like a worn, sprung mattress; inviting rest but offering no comfort.

Sleep. Sleep. Sleep.

There is no art any more.

Not even in a thousand burning suns. Not even as you tip your face up to the milky black. Not even in his face; that face you love. You look, and you feel numb.

Numb. Numb. 

No music.

Birds sing. It’s just noise, ringing in the hollow of your body.

Noise. 

You want to sleep. It is all you want, and you merely want it because you want nothing else.

No dance in your body. No motion; only stillness.

No fight left in you...

What is left, then?

Nothing?

Nothing left.

Yes.

Nothing but the robust pang of hunger.

Nothing but the parching thirst.

Nothing but this weight on your chest, pressing you to the bed.

Nothing but the refresher door taunting you because you can’t cross the chasm in five steps.

Nothing but the guilt and self-hatred, and false, invasive belief that you are worthless.

Guilt because you...

Can’t.

So much then? So much where there is “nothing”?

You are simply so full of empty that it has pushed everything good down. It has pushed you down until you are sunken. Until you are yelling at yourself from below water, sound muted.

Everything muted.

Colours. Feelings. Life. Love.

Worst of all, your love will be home soon.

Home and sleep is all you...

Home and you haven’t even...

You almost think about ...

You sigh.

You can’t.

You can’t complete the...

You feel nothing, and yet guilty tears fall to the pillow. A part of you understands you are not to blame for being sick, and still, there is this guilt.

You have him. 

Poe. Poe. Poe.

So, shouldn’t you be happy?

Why can’t you be happy?

Love shakes the inside of your chest, rattling against the bars of your ribs and wanting to be known. Reminding you of what you lack. It hurts. Everything hurts when it flexes, even love. Especially love. It flexes and it feels only restriction. It feels only weight on its chest. Such pain.

He will be home soon.

You love him. You know this, intellectually. And yet, you don’t want to see him. Don’t want think of him. Because you don’t want to be seen by him.

Not like this.

You don’t want to let him down. You don’t want to break his heart by meeting his loving gaze so hollow. As if he is not sunshine. As if he is not a thousand suns blazing; and yet, instead of poetry and art and music in your heart when you think of him, there are mere syllables, images, noise. There are those vowels again, large like an orange in your mouth, consonants rattling in between your teeth as you cry muffled sounds into the pillow.

He’ll be home soon. You don’t know how soon. You don’t know how long you have layed like this.

Still, all you can do is lie empty, where the room brims with mess and misery and shadow.

All you can do is lie in this empty room, where you brim full with sorrow.

It is enough. This is enough. You are enough, though you can’t see it.

And so, because you can’t see it, can’t feel it, you bring your hands to your face, despairing. Your fingers find your hair, and it’s dirty.

You just want to sleep. You want to tug the covers back over your head and disappear but..

There is a rap at the door.

He’s home now.

A soft knock, then inistent.

He’s back.

After a week apart he’ll be so...

...disappointed to see you. At least, that’s what you mind is telling you to believe.

You turn away and close your eyes as he pushes through into the dark room. You cannot look at his sunshine. It is too bright, like the round circle of sun at the mouth of a deep well. You cannot look, so your eyes scrunch closed as he flicks on a lamp, and you hear his feet deftly pick through the mess on your floor.

You try not to look.

You try not to hear.

You try not to exist.

How can feeling nothing still hurt? How can you wish to feel even less than this, just to blunt your pain?

Still, you do feel something. You feel his sturdy weight settle on to the bed beside you.

You do hear. You hear him sigh.

Yes, he sighs, but it’s gentle, concerned, and his hand finds your shoulder, his touch like warm sand on your cold, goosepimpled skin. Rough and full of sunshine.That blessed sunshine you cannot -at the present moment-comprehend.

“Honey?” he asks, and you hear his voice, soft and tender. You hear his love, but you can’t feel it. No, you can’t.

His voice should ignite you. There should be blood moving beneath your skin but...

There is nothing. There is nothing in your mouth. Nothing but bones in your body.

“Honey, look at me, please?”

You peel your eyes open, bracing yourself for the disappointment you expect to find carved into his face. His eyes examine you, assess you, eyes flitting around the room to understand how bad things are. The state of you, the state of the room. The half-filled bottle of meds at your bedside- at least you’ve been keeping those up. That’s something. Something where you would insist there is nothing.

That look. That look in your eyes, your pupils like bleak, empty wells he tips his sunlight into, and yet he can’t reach the depths of you. Can’t warm all the way through, even as his eyes brim with tears and love.

He doesn’t look surprised, at least. He ran into one of the others first, then; Leia or Finn or Rey. They warned him. Warned him that you are worthless, a burden. No, you are not those things, you try to remember. They will have warned him that you are sick.

Suddenly, looking at him, you have words.

“I’m sorry,” you croak, your mouth as dry as sandpaper. 

“Why in the hell are you sorry, baby?” he asks gently, surprised now, his eyes searching yours. How does he do that? How does he look at you as if you are beautiful, even like this? Perhaps you are beautiful, even like this. Yes, you are. He sees it when you can’t.

“Because I...” you look away from him and sigh, even these simple words taxing your energy,”...couldn’t....”

Couldn’t get out of bed.

Couldn’t want to.

Couldn’t be happy when he came home.

Couldn’t want to.

Poe doesn’t judge you though. Not for this.

He’s Poe. Of course he doesn’t. Poe knows that people are not to be judged on such blameless matters. People are not the sum of their illnesses and struggles. You are so much more to him. You are everything to him, in fact.

He loves you. He loves you. He loves you. Always will. That doesn’t change when you’re sick. Why would it? Why would it?

“You did just fine, honey,” he insists through a thin, watery smile. “I’m still proud of you. I’m still glad to see you.”

You look at him.

He looks back.

You know you should feel poetry in it, like all the other times he’s come home. When your skin and your heart and your breath and your words and your lips were alive. When your body danced with his. 

“It’s bad this time?” he asks. “Like before?”

“I guess,” you croak.

You hate yourself. You hate yourself even though you dont deserve that hate for a second. You hate yourself for what you believe Poe must think of you, but you try to remember that your brain lies, and that Poe tells the truth. You try to remember everything he tells you over and over. You try to remember hope. Rebellions are built on hope, after all, and you? You are a Rebel; therefore, you know you must fight this too. A small, vanishing part of you knows that you can fight it, even if a louder voice in your head tells you you can’t. A voice with bad intentions. This sickness.

Still, you always promise Poe you’ll try. You always try. Have been trying. Even the refresher door becomes something that taunts you, a chasm between you and it as you try to make it there. You always try. Regardless, Poe’s always proud of you.

“Can I hold you?” he asks, his warmth and his unsurpassed beauty evident to you even now, even if it you cannot muster any ready response to it.

You shake your head.

“I’m disgusting.”

“Kriff, me too,” he says, his tone natural and easy, and refusing to shrink away from your pain- from the temporarary reality of you, as some do. “Came straight here. Five days on a mission without a shower? We can stink together,” he adds, with a tentative, lopsided smile, hoping to tease one from you too.

Poe has no trouble being hopeful, where that has never come easily to you.

Still, he’s here. He’s here at your side, all warm, sandy voice and his soft, loving eyes. Even if you had been convinced he would never come back. He is here. His rough hand is swooping over your cheek. Caring for you, even though he must be so tired himself.

Your eyes grow watery and your lower lip trembles. “I should be caring for you, you shouldn’t have to come back to me like this, after fighting...”

“Hey,” he protests, his voice hushed but his tone insistent. “You’ve been fighting too, baby. We both got our missions, yeah? If you ask me, I think you got the raw end of the deal.”

He’s perfect. He’s so perfect. You will the blood to move under your skin. You will your heart to ignite, but there’s nothing.

Correction; there’s nothing yet. It will come. It will get better.

Poe’s voice and eyes soothe you as you contemplate this. “There’s nowhere else I wanna be. I just wanna hold you. Okay, baby? Missed your beautiful face. Missed you so much. I’m kriffin’ lucky to come back to you.” 

Missed your smile, he might have said. You missed it too. Misplaced it.

Forgot how to...

Your thought-spiral is interupted as Poe shifts slowly on the bed, and he curls his warm, sturdy body around yours, holding his beloved little spoon tightly.

He’s wrapped around you, but you wish you could feel him.

Still, as his arms wind around you to tug you into him, you clasp his forearms tightly against your chest. A part of you knows. A part of you feels. You know how important this is. That he is home.

“Mission go ok?” you ask in monotone.

“Yeah,” he says, exhaling a tired puff of air into the back of your neck.

You wish you could melt for him and comfort him in return. You try, at least.

You try, but you feel like a gargoyle carved from stone, sorrow frozen on you. Face locked in a grimace. What mason would be so cruel as this? To make this bitter emotion permanent as stone? However, as he squeezes you tighter, fits against you so naturally, so familiar... As he touches you, you remember you are, in fact, skin and bone. You remember, even though the memory may be distant, that although your heart is heavy now, it once was light.

If it once was light it can be that way again.

He kisses your hair, even though it is dirty. He breathes you in, even though you are not clean. He loves you, and even if you think you are broken, he thinks you are perfect.

You are perfect.

His body heat suffuses through you, and you hadn’t realised how cold you were, until he warmed you. Poe had noticed, though. Poe loves you.

“Have you eaten? Drank anything?” he whispers into your neck, after a moment of holding you in gratitude and breathing deep, relieved breaths.

“Finn made me eat something,” you say, almost embarrassed, even though you know Poe does not judge you. “Managed half a ration. It was... today? I think it was today, I don’t know...”

“That’s good, baby!” he praises, entirely genuine. You feel him shift on the bed behind you, sitting up with his back against the headboard.

“C’mere,” he encourages softly, bundling you into his chest, and producing a ration bar from the pocket of his flight suit. “Split this with me while I tell you about the mission, okay?”

“Okay,” you agree, and Poe can hear that you sound a little sceptical. You doubt you have the energy to engage with him.

“I’ll tell you all the funny and horrific stories of your boyfriend’s heroics this past week. Shall I do The Thing as well?” he asks, and you swivel your head to look-up at him, seeing him tick up an eyebrow, slightly amused.

“Yes please,” you say, and you even manage the barest of smiles.

Poe proceeds to tell you all about his week as you nestle into his chest, his voice flowing through you like warm sand, pouring in and filling up just a little of the emptiness inside you. He also does The Thing, and he intersperses his animated storytelling with “your” part too, so that you don’t have to worry about upholding a conversation. So that you only have to listen, and you don’t have to worry that you aren’t able to react as you typically would. 

“That would be the bit right there you’d laugh,” he says as he recounts his finest dumbassery from the mission. A small smile inches over your face, as though you are rehearsing your own emotions. Trying them out. “Yeah, I think that one would be dumb enough to get a belly laugh from you.”

He continues.

“This would be the bit you would tear off my clothes because I’m a dashing badass,” he adds as he relays how he took down a ton of TIEs. “Yeah, definitely. You’d try to get steamy right about now.”  

It might be odd, but it is a comfort. It doesn’t remind you what you lack. You feel less of a deficit this way, as it reminds you what you’re capable of. That it is not always like this. That you do not always feel like this.

Will not, as soon as you’re better.

“And you, honey? Mission report?”  

You sigh, trying to think through what you have done, rather than what you haven’t. Even if the things to recount don’t sound as impressive as Poe’s, he always insists the battle is no less worthy. You are worth fighting for, after all.

“Well... I got a lot of sleep. Beebs made sure I took my meds.” It’s a short list, but what could be more important than that? The fact that you held on? Then, you have your first playful thought in days. “My love came home to me, and he thinks he’s all that, but he stinks pretty bad,” you tease, as if you weren’t in an entirely equal state.

“Kriff, you’re teasing me from your sick bed?” Poe’s chest shakes against you in gentle mirth. “Brutal, honey. Kriffin’ brutal.” You have a point though, he concedes. “We should both shower though, huh? Before someone catches a whiff and reports a possible herd of bantha in room z88?”

He clocks your trepidation as your eyes flick over to that taunting refresher door.

He squeezes your arm, and somehow manages to be encouraging without even a hint of being condescending. “Pretty far, huh? You can do it yourself tomorrow, but.. d’ya want your big strong man to carry you for now, baby?”

“Yes please,” you smile, and Poe shifts once again. First, he strips off his flight suit and tosses it aside, and then he peels back the covers and helps you to stand. Then, he helps you step out of your vest and pants, before swooping you up and carrying you the five paces to the refresher door, setting you down gently. You glance back at the rumpled bed, which still calls out to you, and although it is a short distance away, you feel like you have trekked across a damn galaxy.

Poe begins to run the water warm in the shower, casually handing you a fresh tumbler of water to sip on as he does so. Then, he takes your hand and eases you under the stream of water.

Poe’s broad hands lather up your body and your hair, feeling like an act of worship as he slowly, gently, washes days of rest away from you, without question. Without expecting anything from you in return except to let him- and even then, only if you want to. He then makes short work of rinsing off his own body, searching your eyes as he does so.

Water is a funny thing, you think- it can drown and it can cleanse. It can be gentle and forceful, deep and still or turbulent. After days of drowning, it feels good simply to be clean. To begin to rise to the surface.

You reach towards that circle of sunlight at the mouth of the well. You look a little deeper into his eyes. See a little further.

“A little better?” he asks.

You nod. A little better. 

You step out with him, and even though he’s tired -ragged from this mission- he dries you off.

He changes your sheets.

He picks your dirty laundry up from your floor and throws it in the basket. He throws away your trash.

He let the light in.

Literally.

Then figuratively.

Yes, you still feel so heavy. So, so heavy.

But you know. A part of you knows that lightness will come again, if you just hang on. You can see it. You can see that light at the surface, still out of reach, but not forever.

You watch him as he cares for you in all these small ways and suddenly there are vowels and consonants pushing out from beneath your ribs.

“I love you,” you say as you perch on the edge of the bed, right where he seated you, not thinking to move. 

He pauses, dropping what he’s doing and coming to kneel on the floor in front of you. Tenderly, ever so tenderly, he takes your face in his hands, and his warm eyes are as intense as you’ve ever seen him, as if he can’t believe that you fought hard enough to push this love out from the depths. For him. Even though you are so sunken. Even though you cannot do it for yourself yet.

“I love you too,” he promises, entirely earnest. 

You push a small smile on to your face, even though you know you need not wear masks for him.

Yes, it got bad again, but it will get better.

You hang on, and that’s enough. More than enough.

You have to hang on, because there will come a day you’ll be so glad you did.

When everything in your chest rises up and gasps for air and lets you breathe again. You will break the surface and come back strong and eager for this life.

“It scares me when you’re sick. I love you so much.”

“I’ll be okay again,” you nod. “Or, I’ll try.”

That’s all anyone could ask of you. That’s all you can ask of yourself.

That is enough. More than enough.

You are enough. You are more than enough for him.

You look at him. He looks back.

His face. His face is art. You feel all those things; poetry, art, music, dance. They’re there. They’re just sunken. Muted.

Poetry is in the pauses too. The blank lines and empty spaces; in the missed beats. You will come back to yourself, and you will make new art. Feel new things. Things more full and replete with joy. Joy can clamber from out of the deepest wells, given time. It will. It will again.

“Can I kiss you?” Poe asks shyly. “Been desperate to kiss you,” he admits, the corners of his plush lips tugging up into a smile. He is sunshine. He is beautiful. Perfect.

You nod, and his lips meet yours, chaste and gentle, and not expecting anything in return.

You try your best to feel him. To feel at all.

You close your eyes and hope you will open your heart. It has begun, with a crack to let the light in.

There is fight left in you, even if you can’t see it. Even when you can’t feel it.

“I’m so happy to be home with you,” Poe says, and his words are greeted with silence.

That’d be the bit you’d usually say... I’m so happy too. But Poe offers his words freely, and you know he doesn’t expect anything from you in return. He doesn’t expect your happiness. He simply wants to give you his.

This is not a warm story, but he is warm.

Correction; this is not a warm story, not yet.

But, oh. Oh, it will be.

It was so, in the chapter before, and it will be, in the chapter which is coming.

And you? You will thaw, I promise. Not because of him. But because of you. Because you’re a fighter. Because no matter how long you may be sunken, you will float.

Poetry takes a breath sometimes. Misses a beat. It is not a waste. It is not worthelss, this pause. Sometimes it is needed. The big breath hope takes before it floats to the surface. So, maybe there is hope.

Yes. There’s hope.

There is hope.

Hope is like the sun. If you only believe it when you see it you'll never make it through the night.  Isn’t that what Leia says?

You will make it through this night.

This is how you feel now but will not be how you feel forever. You are not carved from stone. You are a fluid thing; you are made of water. Sometimes, you can drown in yourself, and sometimes you can be cleansed. You are always moving and ebbing, even if it’s so far below the surface that you cannot detect the shift.

This will shift.

Love and life and light are straining, deep down, and after all that straining, pushing, trying, when they resurface they will be strong.

There’s a reason they say hope floats.

It cannot be drowned forever, even if it is is drowned right now. It is not set in stone. You will float, up beyond that circle of sunshine. You will heal, even though you are hurt.

Poe knows this. His eyes tell you all this, but most of all, you know it; no, you feel it, in the depths of you. This is truth.

Poe peels back the covers, and he tugs you to his bare body, warm flesh against yours.

He’s tired. All his body can speak of now is sleep.

You are both tired of fighting, so for now, you must rest, and try again tomorrow. You stroke his hair and he strokes your back, and for now, this is enough.

Yes, for now, this is more than enough.

You are enough.

[cherryrogers]

➸ call me baby {3/3}

BROOKLYN

pairing: bucky barnes x reader | biker au

warnings: Swearing, smoking.

word count: 8k

synopsis: Returning to Brooklyn for the summer after a year of travelling from city to city, you hadn’t expected to find your best friend, Peggy Carter, hopelessly in love with a biker. And when she decided to introduce you to the rest of his club, you hadn’t expected to fall for one either. That was until you met one with pretty eyes and a habit of calling you baby.

series masterlist

a/n: jfc,,, i can’t believe i’ve finally finished writing this lmao i’m sorry it took so long my dudes. thank you to everyone who has shown support for this fic, and i hope you all enjoy the final part !!💛

“I’m going to miss having you around, _____. It’s been nice having another girl here who isn’t afraid to put a shitty customer in their place.” Wanda smiled, handing you a white envelope with your final salary enclosed inside.

Folding the envelope and tucking it into your jean pocket, you chuckled heartily. “I think you and your pistol will do just fine without me. Thanks for having me here for the summer, Wan. I wouldn’t even be leaving if it wasn’t for this job.”

Her grin widened as she pulled you into a warm hug. “There’ll always be a job here for you — summer, winter, any time you need it.”

After you’d said one final thanks and goodbye to Wanda, you exited the bar doors for the last time and crossed the sidewalk to where Peggy was waiting in her car for you. In a matter of hours, you’d be spending the night in Brooklyn one last time, and your summer would be over.

Initially, you were expecting a couple of months solely spent with your best friend. Lounging on shimmering sandy beaches, drinking wine and laughing till dusk in your backyard, listening to her harp on about her dreamy new boyfriend while you rambled about all the places you’d visited. You couldn’t have imagined it to be more different than it was. Sure, you had done all of that with Peggy, but she wasn’t the only one that’d shaped your summer. Following the motorcycle ride at five in the morning with a certain biker, you’d only grown more attached to each other. He couldn’t ever keep his hands off you, and you couldn’t ever bring yourself to leave the clubhouse after a day spent with him. If the rest of the club ever caught on to yours and Bucky’s affair, then they never mentioned it. You were sure that was because of Peggy. She knew it was better to leave you be, considering Bucky was the first person you’d opened your heart to in a long time.

Some days were spent simply in his bedroom, wearing nothing but a pair of underwear under his silk sheets, constantly switching between telling one another about your lives, your childhoods, passions, fears, and stripping out of your little clothing and letting yourselves completely give into each other. Some days were spent wandering the streets of Brooklyn hand in hand, Bucky showing you all the alleys and parks he’d found Steve attempting to fight guys twice the size of him, you pointing out the diners and stores you used to drag Peggy to on the weekends in high school. Every day was spent getting to know one another though, and every day spent with Bucky was never a day wasted. The only down side to every moment your were with him was that they’d only add up to it hurting even more when you inevitably left, and that time was arriving very soon.

Peggy drove you home from the bar to collect your packed backpack and suitcase before bringing you down to the clubhouse for the rest of the night. She teased you about going soft since you’d gotten close to Bucky, wanting to spend your last night with your summer love as she called him. The girl received an unimpressed glare for the comment, but what she said wasn’t exactly untrue. If you’d told yourself a year ago that your summer in Brooklyn would find you all starry-eyed for a biker you’d only just met in June, you would’ve likely pushed aside any plan to return to the place at all. Peggy would forced your ass back to Brooklyn, of course; perhaps there would’ve always been something that led you back to your hometown, to him. Christ, you were getting soft.

There was a crease between your brows as you retrieved the envelope of cash from your pocket and gently ripped it open in your lap. It felt a little... thicker than it usually was — more than what you normally earned from a week’s worth of work. As your eyes met the wad of green bills inside, they widened in shock. Yep, definitely more than your usual salary. Way more to just be a mistake on Wanda’s part.

The large sum of cash even caught Peggy’s eye from her place in the driver’s seat. “Wanda must’ve really taken a liking to you. Perhaps doubling your salary is a plea to make you stay.”

A breathless laugh escaped your lips as you ran your thumb over the edges of the bills. “If it is, that girl knows exactly what she’s doing. Maybe travelling isn’t my true calling after all.”

While they was a playfulness to your tone, you couldn’t help but notice the brunette’s smile falter at your words. Peggy was like you in a way; she wasn’t soft, often being as upfront and stubborn as you were. However, she didn’t like opening up to people about herself all that much. Not that you were necessarily thriving in that department either, but when it came to Steve, she’d said it’d took her a while to even mention her brother’s passing to him. He hadn’t known she even had a brother before Peggy brought it up a long while after they’d began dating. Peggy possessed a lot of self confidence, and she had every right to do so. Being vulnerable and open just tended to put her at unease, and when you caught her acting a little off, it took some gentle coaxing to get her to open up.

“Are you okay?” You offered her a comforting smile, to which she didn’t quite return.

“Peachy,” She replied half-heartedly, hands tightening on the steering wheel. Glancing briefly at you, she spotted the crinkle in your brows and your pursed lips. Seeing as you never took your eyes off her, she sighed. “What is it?”

“Peggy, I don’t know how long it’s gonna be before I see you again. If something’s up, please tell me.”

Her tongue hesitantly ran across her bottom lip, fingers readjusting on the steering wheel. “It’s nothing, really. It’s just... I didn’t realise how much I’d missed having you here. I know it’s selfish, but I’d be lying if I said I was excited to see you off tomorrow.”

You shuffled in your seat, turning to face your friend more directly. “It’s not selfish, Pegs. Of course you don’t want me to go, I’m the shining light of your life—”

“_____...”

“Sorry, I know I’m annoying. Can’t help it,” You apologised, internally cursing yourself out. One serious conversation. You can have one serious conversation, come on. “I mean it, though; I don’t think it’s selfish. If you were jetting off to London tomorrow, I’d feel the same— oh, red light!”

The car came to an abrupt stop in front of the traffic lights, your seatbelt pressing tightly against you chest. Before you could reprimand your friend and tell her that putting you in hospital isn’t a viable way to stop you from leaving, she was turning to you with a surprised stare.

“You’re going to London? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I mean, I actually just made the decision five minutes ago, but yeah, I’m going to London.”

Peggy let out a disbelieving laugh. “You haven’t even booked your flight yet?”

“I didn’t even have the money to go an hour ago!” You exclaimed. “But with all this cash from Wanda, I think I’ll be able to make it there. I’ve been travelling the US for a year now, Pegs. I wanna go somewhere new. Somewhere fresh, the land of milky tea and buttery crumpets. I can go to the Queens house—”

“You have a lot of nerve saying all of this to someone who was born in England.” She glared softly, pressing her foot down on the gas when the green light appeared.

An amused smile crept onto your lips. “Hm, I will need someone to Facetime twenty four-seven to tell me all the places I need to visit, preferably English and born in London...”

“So you’ll talk to me solely because my nationality is of use to you?”

You rolled your eyes. “I might miss you a little bit too.”

“Thanks.”

“It’s hard being without you too, you know,” You spoke more seriously, catching Peggy slightly off guard. “Travelling is great and all, but some days I do wake up in my motel room and wish I was back home, spending the day with my best friend.”

While her eyes were still focused on the road, a warm smile was clearly pulling at the brunette’s lips. “Just... don’t stay away for too long this time, okay?”

“You’ll see me again before next summer, I promise.”

“Hm, I’m going to need that in writing.”

“I’ll even record a video for you; I’ll buy a tripod, get some good lighting, one of those fluffy microphones—”

Peggy cut you off with a hearty chuckle, dark, conditioned curls bouncing as she shook her head. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think I’m actually going to miss your ability to make a joke out of everything.”

You scoffed, placing a hand on your chest in mock shock. “Christ, now that is something that needs to be in writing. I’m hiring us a lawyer, he can draw us both up contracts.”

“Dont forget to book your flight first.” Peggy chimed in.

“Right, I have a lot of things I need to do today. Bucky’s gonna have to give me a minute before he can have me to himself... and I’ll need to lend his computer.”

As your gaze averted to the passing by buildings out of the car window, Peggy grinned contentedly to herself. She could see exactly why you’d been the one Bucky had really fallen for, though she couldn’t help but wonder how he’d handle your departure to a whole other continent.

However, you’d promised you were coming back soon, and there wasn’t a doubt in Peggy’s mind that he’d be counting down the hours once you stepped onto your flight.

* * *

“London, huh?” Bucky’s voice caught your attention as he entered the office, a beer bottle in each hand.

As you confirmed the booking of your flight for the next morning, you swirled around in the cushioned desk chair, taking one of the bottles once the man had approached you. “Did Peggy spill the beans already?”

“Heard her talkin’ to Steve in the garage,” He pressed his own bottle to his lips, a smirk tugging at his lips. “Doesn’t seem like five minutes since you first arrived, when you came into the backyard in those little black and white shorts.”

Standing up, you shot him an eye roll. “I’m sure that’s all you can remember from that day, perv.”

“What do you remember then?”

You hummed, leaning into Bucky as you let his arms envelop your waist. “I remember wondering why everyone was wearing leather jackets in eighty degree weather. Oh, and that I thought you were a dick.”

The biker didn’t seem offended in the slightest at your statement, only grinning and pulling you closer. “Hm, and what about the day at the carnival? Wasn’t that a good day?”

“No, I had to endure you flirting with those girls in front of us in the drop tower line. I was almost sick before we even got on the ride.”

“Oh, that?” He let out a laugh, cheeks faintly tinting pink. “I was only trying to make you a little jealous. Seems like it worked.”

You scoffed. “It did not work,” It definitely had worked.

“You liked when I held your hand on the ride though, didn’t you?”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“You know what? Fine. I did,” You admitted, eliciting a smug smile from Bucky. “But I’m only admitting that ‘cause I’m leaving tomorrow. Don’t think I’m going soft on you.”

He ran his tongue along his lower lip, leaning closer to speak against your lips. “Wouldn’t be stupid enough to dream of it.”

Smiling in satisfaction, you moved an inch closer and let his lips meet yours, a warm feeling emerging in your chest. The kiss remained gentle as your fingers pushed some of his hair away from his face, before you pulled back reluctantly to breathe. Blue eyes pierced into yours after fluttering open almost hazily.

“Would it be stupid to ask you to stay?” Bucky asked quietly, though he knew the answer already.

A weak nod and an empathetic smile; you pecked the corner of his lips before stepping back completely as if you suddenly felt you’d been standing too close. Bucky had never seen you holding your tongue, but that seemed to be what you were doing as you put some distance between the two of you.

There was an uncomfortable silence, the warmth from your body dissipated and replaced with an aching coldness. Perhaps telling yourself all summer that you could worry about yours and Bucky’s future at the end of August was a terribly bad idea, because now it was hitting you — maybe there’s wasn’t a future for the two of you at all.

“I’ll wait for you, you know.” The biker’s voice broke the quiet, the words slicing through you.

“I don’t know how long I’ll be gone, Bucky. I don’t think I can ask you to do that.” You breathed, meeting his eyes hesitantly.

“You’re not asking me to, I want to,” He stated, worrying his teeth over his bottom lip. “Unless... that’s not what you really want?”

Truthfully, the idea of Bucky seeing anyone else once you’d left made your stomach turn. In an ideal world, you’d like it if he was just yours. Only yours, because you guaranteed that there wasn’t anybody else that could make you feel the way that he did. But you couldn’t force him to wait for a girl that strayed away from their hometown for longer than they stayed, no matter how much it’d end up hurting you.

“It wouldn’t be fair, Bucky, to either of us. We can’t really be together when I’m only gonna come back for the holidays—”

“Was this just a summer thing to you?” He questioned, a mix of regret and frustration flashing in his eyes. He knew he shouldn’t have asked that, but some part of him was oddly curious to.

Your previously calm expression turned sour as you furrowed your brows and scoffed. “You’re—you’re kidding, right? Did you just— of course it wasn’t just a summer thing to me, you asshole.”

Admittedly, it hurt that he’d even had the nerve to think that. You’d asked him if you shouldn’t have started something together that inevitably was going to end and he said he didn’t regret it. While being together could technically only last for the summer months, it wasn’t just a fling. There were feelings there that you weren’t going to be able to shake off, memories that were going to be carved into your mind forever. Did he seriously think that it was all just temporary on your part?

“Then would staying really be so bad?” Bucky retorted. What he was saying was only making you angrier, but he couldn’t help but be honest. Perhaps it just hadn’t hit him that you were really leaving in less than twenty four hours until that very moment, and everything that left him mouth was coming from a deep place of, well, sadness.

You shook your head in disbelief. “You’re being selfish.”

“Aren’t I allowed to be? We’ve spent a whole summer together and this time tomorrow you’re gonna be thousands of miles away from here—”

“And you don’t think I’ll be hurt either?” You intervened, cocking a brow. “You think I’ll be skipping through the airport utterly thrilled to be leaving you?”

Bucky was silent, too silent for too long. You scoffed, ignoring the way he was biting down in his cheek and the faint glossiness of his eyes in your annoyance. “You knew I was gonna have to leave eventually, Bucky. If you knew weren’t going to be able to accept that... then you never should’ve asked me to stay that night.”

That night; no further explanation was needed to identify which of the many nights spent together you were talking about. It was that night when you fell inexplicably hard for Bucky, when you decided that you might never have the chance to fall in the way you’d fallen for him ever again and that you’d only regret not staying the night. Not letting him strip you of your clothes and shed his own, not letting him make love to you, not letting him wake up to you admiring his every feature. If he knew he wouldn’t be able to let you go so easily, then having you stay that night was purely unwise of him.

When Bucky didn’t you respond one again after a few moments, you sighed deeply, crossing your arms over your chest. Though your expression had softened, your tone was still rather cold. “It’s never been just a fling with you, and if after all the damn time we’ve been spending together you thought there was a chance I might’ve thought that, then maybe you don’t feel the way I thought you felt about me at all.”

The biker’s features fell as he watched you chew your bottom lip and stalk towards the door — doubting his feelings for you was the last thing he wanted you to do. He let his boot collide with the bottom of his desk in frustration as you shut the office door behind you.

He hadn’t meant to start a dispute. It was your last god damn night in Brooklyn, of course he didn’t want to spend it receiving the cold shoulder from you. You’d probably gone out and found the rest of the guys, perhaps even went to drag Peggy aside to tell her how much of a dick he’d just been, which he’d understand. He had a feeling you wouldn’t do that though; instead you’d go out and pretend everything was fine because you wouldn’t dare let anyone know that he’d managed to hurt your feelings — always so stubborn.

Relationships were not Bucky’s forte. It’s not like he’d ever been looking for one; he was still young, he had still wanted to have fun for a little while before finally settling down like his mother had been bugging him to since he’d moved out. While he wasn’t the type to sleep with a girl and never call them again, he wasn’t exactly the type to, well... sleep with a girl and do anything else with them. He hated the talking stages of a relationship, despised them with all his being. Everyone he knew insisted that he had to get through them to actually have a deeper relationship with someone, but he really just couldn’t will himself to do it. So when there didn’t seem to be a weird talking stage with you, he was pretty happy about it.

It wasn’t like he was forcing himself to try and develop a connection with you, he’d hardly been interested in dating anyone when you’d first arrived. But then it all happened so naturally and now look at the two of you — well, you were mad at him and he was standing in the office alone like an idiot.

He knew better than to follow you outside and try to play friendly with you in front of everyone else. Giving you and himself a bit of time to cool off and think, Bucky took a shower upstairs in his bathroom. The longer the hot water pelted his skin, the more he felt like an asshole for what he’d said to you. He couldn’t just ask you to stay for him, that was wrong for a start. That was definitely selfish. Accusing you of thinking it was just a fling too? Christ, what was he thinking? He didn’t actually think that you thought of him as a fling, he just stupidly asked that in the heat of the moment when he was frustrated that you one hundred percent didn’t want to stay.

Maybe he ought to get out of the shower before he steamed up the whole clubhouse and make things right.

As Bucky neared the bottom of the staircase after putting on some clothes and towel-drying his hair, he bumped into Steve, who seemed to be heading towards the living room.

“Hey, Buck. We’re starting a movie soon. _____’s just finishin’ her cigarette out back; you two joining us?”

Bucky plastered on a smile, shaking his head. Perhaps he sounded selfish, but watching a movie with everyone wasn’t exactly the way he wanted to spend his last night with you. “I don’t think so, man. Another night.”

“Suit yourself.” The blond patted his friend’s shoulder before allowing him to scoot past him and head outside.

The sky was a deep blue, the sparse, grey clouds almost bleeding into the dark hue as the stars began to peek through the dusky blanket. A single garden lamp lit up the area, just about showing your figure sitting on the picnic bench that’d never been replaced since they’d moved into the clubhouse. Between your parted lips rested the remains of a cigarette, smoke twirling through the slight breeze that’d picked up once the sun went down.

You didn’t flinch as Bucky slid onto the bench next to you, and he couldn’t help but let his mind wander back to when the two of you had met. At that time, he was sat in your spot exhaling clouds of smoke, not knowing who you were when you first walked outside. Fast forward to now and you were exactly where he was all those weeks ago, except now he wasn’t sure what he was going to do without you.

“You mind if I take a drag of that?” He spoke up suddenly, suppressing a smile at the way you paused in your actions.

While you didn’t offer him the stick between your fingers, your loosened grip on it silently gave Bucky the permission to pluck it out of your hand into his own, which he did. After taking a long drag of the cigarette, he stubbed it out on the ashtray to his right before turning his attention to you.

“I know we aren’t a summer fling to you. I- I know how you feel about me, because I feel the same way.”

Bucky felt himself relax a little as you faced him, no longer staring off into the night. A slight frown pulled at your lips; he didn’t like the sight. “If I was going to stay for anything, or anyone, it’d be you, you know.”

Not sure what to say, the biker only gave you a nod of acknowledgment, taken aback by the statement. He wasn’t sure whether it was a compliment or something he shouldn’t be happy with.

“There’s a difference between me wanting to stay and wanting to be with you,” You bit down on your bottom lip. “I don’t wanna stay, but if you asked me... if you asked me to stay again to be with you, I probably wouldn’t get on my flight tomorrow.”

Breath hitching, Bucky narrowed his eyes. “You’d stay if I asked you to again?”

The look in your eyes was enough of an answer. If he asked you to stay, you’d say yes. Yes to waking up beside him during the colder fall mornings. Yes to motorcycle rides to anywhere and everywhere. Yes to never having to worry about how much time you have left together, because you’d stayed; you weren’t leaving Brooklyn anymore.

Saying yes to that however, would mean saying goodbye London, to travelling. Exploring different cultures, trying new food, experiencing a part of the world you never thought you could reach as a child. No more reading in motel rooms until midnight. No more tours around cities with a camera wrapped around your neck. No more living the life you’d been dreaming of since you’d barely started middle school — you weren’t ready to let go of that just yet, and Bucky didn’t have to read your mind to know that.

“I’m not gonna ask you to stay again,” He declared, prompting you to raise a brow. “I’m not gonna be a jackass and make you stay if that’s not what you wanna do.”

To his joy, your frown slowly curled into a soft smile. “I know your heart’s in the right place, Buck. That you weren’t trying to start an argument. And— and I can’t stop you from waiting for me if that’s what you wanna do. I’ll be back at some point, but I just don’t want you to put your life on hold for me, you know?”

“I wouldn’t be puttin’ it on hold. I wasn’t planning on finding someone I— I liked so much ever, really. I don’t know if it’ll happen again,”

Your heart — it was going to explode. Who knew you’d ever meet someone that had the power to make you feel so... disgustingly lovesick.

“...unless you happen to take a liking to a London boy while you’re there...?”

You chuckled, a warm sound amid the cool night. “London, Paris, Berlin... none of those boys will ever come close to the one I have in Brooklyn.”

A wide grin spread across the biker’s lips. “Who’s the sap now, huh?”

With a playful eye roll, you couldn’t help but place your hand on Bucky’s jaw, caressing it with your thumb as you leaned in and captured his lips.

He reacted immediately, putting a hand on your outer thigh to pull you closer to his side.

Wherever you were in the world, you’d always have Bucky in Brooklyn — he hoped that you didn’t doubt that.

* * *

Too many mornings spent lazing in Bucky’s bed meant that reality hadn’t yet set in after a few minutes of being awake. It was so natural at this point, to wake up and feel the warmth of him next to you, to have your legs tangled with his and to feel his nose grazing against the back of your neck.

Turning around in his arms, you leaned in and laid a kiss on his nose, smirking at the way he scrunched it in response before pinching at your bare hip. You smacked his hand away before settling your head back against the pillow, gazing at him through your lashes.

“Have I ever told you beautiful you are?” You asked without a second thought.

Heat evidently pooled in Bucky’s cheeks, and you rested a hand on the side of his face before he could roll himself over to hide his embarrassment.

“I’m serious.” You pressed.

“I know,” He grinned, voice raspy with sleep; he knew you never lied to him, you were as honest as they got. “And no, you haven’t told me.”

“Well, now I have. You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.”

“Shut up.”

“Never.”

Bucky sighed, tracing a hand down the curve of your back. He could keep you there forever, laying so close to him and calling him beautiful. If someone would’ve told him at the start of the summer that this was where he’d be by the end of it, he would’ve laughed in their face. “Where’d that come from, huh? You’re being scarily nice.”

“I’m trying to be sentimental, jerk.”

“Oh, right,” He smirked. “Just like last night when you told me to fuck—”

You interrupted him with a finger pressed to his lips. “I think that was pretty sentimental in its own way, actually.”

“Uh-huh,” Bucky kissed your fingertip gently. He had a feeling you were being a little softer than usual since the circumstances of the day were different. You weren’t sure when your next moment like this would be, if there ever would be one. Truthfully, there was an ache in his heart that was caused by that thought too. He sighed, almost sadly. “What time’s your flight?”

“Eleven.”

“Well, I think that leaves us enough time for me to show you how beautiful I think you are...” He trailed his hand lower down your spine and followed the curve of your ass.

You smirked, glancing over your shoulder to the small clock sat on the bedside table. It was nearly nine. There was just over an hour until you had to be at the airport...

“Thirty minutes, then we have to get up. Peggy will be up and banging on the door for us otherwise.”

“More than enough time, baby.”

That was a lie, however. It wasn’t nearly enough time, because once the two of you finally pried yourselves out from underneath the sheets, it hit you that that was the last time in a long time that you’d wake up in Bucky’s bed. The last time you’d be able to have him so close to you. It made you wonder what life would’ve been like if you met him before you first left to travel. If you’d fallen for him that hard so long ago, would you even have left Brooklyn in the first place?

You both took your time getting dressed, you tossing on a tank top and some leggings from your packed suitcase while Bucky put on his signature biker attire. He smugly asked if he could keep a pair of your underwear as a memoir; you told him to go fuck himself before planting a kiss on his lips. It was amazing how quickly he could switch between acting like a dick and being a sweetheart. You’d miss that, admittedly.

Everyone was eating breakfast in the kitchen when the two of you made it downstairs, the sound of your suitcase thumping against the steps signalling your presence. It was rare that you and Bucky ever saw the morning outside of his bedroom in the clubhouse, and that was proved by the raised brows and mock gasps you recieved when you entered into the room. You rested the suitcase against the doorframe as Bucky strided towards the counter, clearly eyeing the half-full pack of cigarettes placed on there.

As he reached for them, Steve looked up from his bacon and eggs, a frown pulling at his lips. “Hey, you can’t just smoke and call it breakfast.”

“I haven’t had breakfast for months,” The brunet snorted. “Don’t think it matters that much.”

“Have some coffee at least?” Steve pushed.

Cocking his brow, Bucky glanced over to you in hope of you having his back. It wasn’t like you’d had breakfast since before summer either, but you weren’t going to let the guy smoke for breakfast. Not when everyone else had a hot meal and the scent alone was making your mouth water.

“How about we get something at the airport?” You offered, strolling over to the seat next to Peggy and sitting down.

“You’re not going the airport so soon, are you?” She asked, sipping her coffee.

“Well, my flight leaves in two hours—”

The brunette almost choked on her coffee, prompting Steve to gently pat her back as she recovered. “Two hours? Oh my— why are you sitting down? We need to go—”

“Would you calm down?” You chuckled, placing a hand on Peggy’s forearm as she started to rise from her seat. She was right, though. You were cutting it very short by still being at the clubhouse when you wanted to grab some breakfast too. You moved your gaze to Bucky. “I mean, maybe we should go now...”

While he looked reluctant to nod, Bucky did so anyway, grabbing the keys to his motorcycle from his designated hook on the the wall next to the light switch.

“Hey genius, how am I gonna put my suitcase on your bike?” You furrowed your brows, grinning as the realisation hit him.

“Uh...”

“Bucky can take you on his bike,” The blond perked up, standing next to his girlfriend. “Peg and I can take the jeep with your suitcase.”

Looking to your best friend for permission, you smiled when she gave you a sure nod. She knew how much it would mean to you if your were able to ride with Bucky one more time. “Go on, we’ll be right behind you.”

After thanking her, you grabbed your suitcase and said your goodbyes to those sitting around the table. Though you didn’t speak to them as much as you’d wished you had, you’d still miss them. You all shared the same sense of humour, having a laugh with them was easy when you spent the day with the group, even when you were all simply lazing around the clubhouse. You gave each of them a quick hug, rolling your eyes when Clint told you to ‘have a right good time in London’ with a horrible English accent.

Bucky lead you out of the house, handing you a helmet and kissing the crown of your head quickly before climbing onto the bike. He didn’t say anything as you got on behind him, enveloping his waist and comfortably setting your chin on his shoulder. With every passing moment, you could tell that he wasn’t looking forward to finally waving you off at the airport. Usually when he was getting grumpy, you’d make a stupid comment about it and it seemed to cheer him up; it didn’t feel right to do so in this instance.

So as the the bike roared to life, you turned to look at the clubhouse. The place where you’d spent the majority of your summer, where you’d met everyone, where you’d met Bucky, where you’d kissed him for the first time, done other things for the first time. It’d become another home to you in a way, like a place you’d always be welcome back to. You hoped you’d always be welcome there anyway, even after being gone for months on end once you stepped onto your flight.

It’d barely taken thirty minutes to get to JFK Airport, Peggy’s jeep only a few cars behind you as you wound through the streets of New York. Bucky noticed when you didn’t start cussing out the bad drivers that were practically skimming the side of his bike like always, your head never leaving its place against his back. It was unlike you, but he didn’t mind. Perhaps like him you were just savouring the moment, the last ride you’d have for a while. Christ, Bucky had never felt so many emotions at once. He didn’t know whether to fall to his knees and beg you not to forget him or to kiss you passionately and tell you he’d be waiting for your return. To maintain his dignity, he decided against the former option.

Almost too fast for your liking, you arrived just outside of the entrance, climbing off the motorcycle reluctantly and spying the jeep just coming to park behind you. It wouldn’t be able to stay parked there for long, and you felt an ache in your chest as you saw Peggy stepping out of her car, Steve not far behind her pulling your suitcase along.

He handed it to you with a smile which you returned as you took it from him. Setting it beside you, you let out a sad chuckle upon realising how glazed over Peggy’s eyes were.

“I’m not about to cry, before you say anything,” She stated, plastering on a grin. “It’s just allergies.”

“Allergies my ass,” You smirked, stepping forward and wrapping your arms around her neck, grinning into her shoulder as she hugged you back tightly. You spoke again, this time more quietly next to her ear. “I love you, okay? And I won’t hesitate to fly back here and beat Steve’s ass if he does anything, I swear.”

Truthfully, you didn’t think Steve was capable of hurting a fly, never mind the smartest, kindest, most gorgeous woman you knew. However, Jay-Z was capable of cheating on Beyoncé — Beyoncé, so being a little sceptical of any man you met wasn’t unreasonable, in your opinion.

“I appreciate the gesture, but I don’t think that’ll be necessary,” She chuckled. “You just focus on looking after yourself, alright?”

“Right,” You responded. “And... you’ll keep an eye on Bucky for me, won’t you?”

It wasn’t that you didn’t trust Bucky, or that you wanted a daily report of what he was up to while you were gone. You just wanted to know that he was going to be okay. Being apart would be hard on both of you, but you’d been doing the ‘being alone’ thing for over a year now, and you had a feeling that there was more to how he felt about you leaving than he was letting on. Even when he said he wasn’t going to ask you to stay again, you still felt like he wasn’t as okay with the situation as he was acting to be.

“Of course I will, Steve too,” The brunette assured you, giving you a final squeeze before beginning to pull back. “I love you too,” She sighed, returning to her place stood next to Steve. “Right, you know where you’re going after you arrive, yes? If not, you can call me and I’ll give you directions to the motel. If you’re hungry I know there’s a takeaway place just outside of the airport—”

“Pegs, I’ll be fine. I’m going to London, not Narnia.”

“Just— just be safe, okay?”

“Can’t make any promises.”

“_____—”

“I’m kidding! How about you learn to take a joke while I’m gone, huh?”

You smiled as Peggy rolled her eyes in amusement. Perhaps she wouldn’t be as amused if she knew about what happened with Brock Rumlow at the bar. You decided you’d tell her in London when you were in a whole other continent, otherwise she might not have let you leave in fear that you’d be getting into more trouble at English bars with assholes like Brock. Even if you did, Peggy knew you weren’t soft, you could handle yourself. She just worried that you were a little too unafraid of confrontation.

Turning to Bucky and picking your suitcase back up, you have him a slight tug on his hand. “We should probably go for breakfast now, I’ll be boarding soon.”

He nodded, offering to take your suitcase and rolling his eyes when you made a comment about him being ‘such a gentlemen’. You gave the blond a quick hug, warning him to take care of Peggy and grinning as he teased you about being more like her mother than her best friend, before saying a final goodbye to the two of them, giving your friend’s hand a final squeeze and turning away to head into the airport.

There was just over an hour until you had to be on the plane, so you and Bucky decided to head into cafe near the entrance and get a proper breakfast. Two steaming black coffees sat opposite each other on the small booth in the corner you were sat at, complimenting the stacks of pancakes dripping in syrup and sugar that you’d impulsively ordered and that Bucky had insisted on paying for, saying that you should save all your cash for exploring London.

“I’ll probably come back for Christmas.” You said in repsonse to him asking how long you’d be travelling for this time, stuffing a sliced bit of pancake into your mouth.

Bucky furrowed his brows. “Really? You’re not staying away until summer again?”

You cocked your brow, looking at him in the corner of your eye. “Why, do you want me to?”

“Course not,” He smirked, reaching out to swipe a drop of syrup from your lip with his thumb. “I hope that means you’re getting me a Christmas present then.”

A chuckle left your lips. “My return will be your Christmas present, how about that?”

The biker scoffed. “Okay... getting to kiss me when you get back will be your present then.”

“Eh... can’t you think of something better?”

He glared at you playfully, though you felt a little bad making the joke. You knew from the argument the night before that he wasn’t still one hundred percent okay with you leaving. Comfortingly, you placed a hand above his knee over his dark jeans.

“In all seriousness, though— I shouldn’t have told you not to wait for me to come back. If that’s what you really want, I can’t stop you from waiting for me. In fact, just seeing you again will be the best thing I’ll get on Christmas; I know it. Well, unless someone gets me some rollerblades. I always wanted them as a kid but my mom refused since I have issues with ‘being careful’—”

Bucky’s laugh cut you off, rolling his eyes at your attempt at covering up your sappy words with sarcasm. He could definitely understand why you never got rollerskates, however — you did have a tendency to be a little reckless. God knows what you were like as a kid.

“I’d have to agree with her on that one,” He smiled, sipping his coffee. “You have been punched in the face more times than the average person. You never told me about the other time you got punched, actually.”

A chuckle fell from your lips. “You remember me mentioning that?”

“Uh-huh.”

You sighed melodramatically. “I guess we have some time to kill — fine. So I was, surprise-surprise, in some random bar in Chicago...”

The hour you had left before your flight finished soon after you’d told Bucky enough stories from your travels to last him in your absence, and before you knew it, you’d reached the flight terminal.

There was an invisible force tugging at your heartstrings. While you were bubbling with excitement to get on your flight, to explore a whole new place outside of what you’ve always known, you hadn’t anticipated how hard it would be to leave what you did know behind. The thought of depending on somebody else, allowing yourself to let their feelings come into play with your decisions, had practically disgusted you only a few months ago. But with Bucky, it only felt wrong to cast his feelings aside.

The biker noticed the change in your demeanour as you neared the terminal, and a smile crept onto his lips. “C’mon, _____ — don’t tell me you’re gonna pussy out on leaving now.”

“Shut up,” You scoffed, elbowing his ribs. “I’m just... thinking.”

“About what?”

It took you a moment to come up with an answer. “About how everything has changed, and how everything is going to keep changing.”

You turned to look at Bucky, whose brows were furrowed. The corners of your lips upturned. “Bucky, nothing in my life is consistent. I’ve always liked travelling because where I am changes all the time, and I never feel stuck anywhere; I always feel free. And with you, I don’t feel stuck either. I want you to be a constant in my life, no matter where I am in the world or whatever else changes in it. I always wanted to get out of Brooklyn ‘cause it never felt like where I was supposed to be forever, but now I know that you’re here... well, maybe Brooklyn is where I’m supposed to end up...”

“...and I swear to God if you call me a sap for that—”

To your delight, you’re not teased for the most heartfelt thing you’d ever said to him, or anyone for that matter, but cut off with a intense kiss. Savouring the feeling, you placed a hand on the back of Bucky’s neck, letting yourself melt into him for one last time that summer. You’d found that Bucky wasn’t necessarily vocal in expressing his feelings, but that didn’t matter. The way he kissed you said more than a thousand words ever could.

After reluctantly pulling away from the kiss, Bucky didn’t let you go just yet. He wrapped his arms around your shoulders and held you to his chest, an affectionate action that he didn’t necessarily do so often. Nevertheless, you leaned into him and let your arms encircle his waist, your cheek resting comfortably against his shoulder. This wasn’t the last time you’d be so close to him, you had to keep reminding yourself of that. But you’d never felt so hesitant to leave someone behind since you’d left Peggy the first time you left New York. You found your way back to her, though, and you were sure you’d do the same with Bucky.

“On second thought, I’d be fine if you pussied out of leaving now...” He spoke into your ear, making you chuckle against his chest.

“I’m no wuss, Bucky Barnes,” You moved back from his embrace, patting his jacket. “You’ll see me again soon, don’t worry your pretty little head about it.”

The feminine voice over the intercom informing you that your direct flight to London was departing soon cut your final moments with Bucky short, enabling the both of you to let out a disheartened sigh.

You leaned forward once more, pressing a soft but fleeting kiss to his lips, before giving his hand a squeeze. “Stay out of trouble, will you? At least until I get back?”

“I think I should be the one tellin’ you that,” Bucky laughed, his eyes taking in the curve of your nose and your cheekbones, the colour of your eyes and the softness of your lips; the features he’d had the luxury of waking up to every day for the past two months. Not that he could ever forget how beautiful you are, but he’d be a fool not to take advantage of looking at you properly in the flesh for the last time for a while. “Running away from a fight isn’t a bad thing, you know.”

“Practise what you preach, pal — does that mean you won’t be socking Brock Rumlow in the face next time you run into him?”

“...touché.”

A grin graced your lips as you clasped your fingers around the handle of your suitcase. “Mhm, that’s what I thought. Now, I’ve gotta get going. There might be a fight waiting for me on the plane already — a forty-five year old lady named ‘Karen’ that’s upset she didn’t get the window seat, perhaps?”

“Well, I can’t keep you waiting, can I?” Bucky stuffed his hands into his jacket pockets, watching as you began to walk in the opposite direction to him, the opposite direction to the summer you’d forever hold dear to your heart.

The smile on your face widened, your last words to him falling from your lips before you turned around and headed towards the next part of your journey, which would eventually, hopefully, lead you back to him in the end.

“I’ll see you when I’m back home.”

Home. Where you belonged. Where you’d circle back to when you’d travelled across the world and back. With him, in Brooklyn.

“See you when you’re back home, baby.”

There was a time when you didn’t believe in love. When you thought that those who did were only fooling themselves, and when you once told your best friend that you’d never fall in love. Maybe you’d proved yourself wrong with Bucky.

The reason you’d always told yourself that love wasn’t real was because you never knew what it was, how it felt. However, if it felt like gliding through a sunlit sky with all the time in the world to spare, with all the space around you to explore; if it felt like finding home in more than just four walls and a roof, but in two bright blue eyes and a soul just as carefree as yours (...and a worn out leather jacket...), then maybe you had fallen in love with Bucky.

Perhaps when you returned home, you’d let him know.

-

@dark-academics-and-florals @thefallenbibliophilequote @kimvmarvel @broco8 @domolovee @barnestruck @igotkatiepowers

[fatandnerdy30]

Loki Helps a Boy

So this is the second installment to Loki Finds a Boy which so many people have been asking for. So I hope you like it!

@lokiismyhubby @laurenandloki @gt-marvel

It had been a two weeks since Peter had been found by Loki and the boy found he wasn't as scary as people made him out to be. He was curious and overly mischevious. But he had made sure not to be seen by the giant as he traversed the overly large tower. He had a few near sightings on his journeys to acquire the things his uncle needed for his sick aunt.

But it seemed like it wasn't enough, because May kept sicker. He sat by her bedside leg bouncing as he stared at her ashen face. Her breathing was heavy and raspy and when she coughed it sounded like sandpaper was trying to escape her lungs. Grabbing the towel from her forehead, Peter wet it again and placed it on her face half expecting it to sizzle with how hot to the touch she was.

Peter couldn't sit here any more and do nothing! He had to get help. Whatever help he could get. Running from the room he slammed into his Uncle Ben who looked shocked to see him. "What's wrong, Peter? Is May all right?"

"She-she's all right...but she just keeps getting sicker...I need to find help." He ran around Ben and ran to grab his bag and shoes, ignoring the wide eyed Ben.

"Peter if you're doing what I think you're doing it's not a good idea! If the humans spot you, they'll squish you flat! I won't let that happen to you!" The man reached for the boy' shoulder, but he just dodged him.

"I've already met one of them, Ben! He was nice and let me go...I think he'll do that again." Or at least Peter hoped that he would be coming back for May's sake. It was with that hope he ignored Ben's pleas and ran from the tiny home in the walls.

Using the beams and concrete ledges, Peter managed to make it to where he climbed down what seemed like so long ago now. Wiping his nose the boy dropped his rope and watched it land on the same shelf he thought he would lose his life on, but had made a friend instead.

Wedging his hook into the vent, Peter began to climb down, grunting a little bit from how tired he was from staying up as long as he could while Ben was running onto the garden floor to gather the herbs that weren't working on May.

"Well, well. You finally show again, little one." Loki's voice snapped Peter from his thoughts as he turned his head to see the black haired man staring at him from a chair with amusement. "I thought you had forgotten about me. You cut me to the quick." Loki placed a hand over his heart and smirked, but it died when Peter didn't laugh. Instead he stared at the man with watery eyes, his lower lip trembling. The giant rose quickly and made his way over to the boy, concern written on his face. "What is it?"

"My aunt....she....she's really sick and not getting better...I didn't know what to do, so I came here, but now I'm thinking it was a bad decision to come here...." Peter shimmied his way down to the shelf to give his arms a rest as he stared up at Loki's face. "Please...can you help me?"

"What are her symptoms, little one?"

"She's gray, her skin is hot and she's coughing a lot, her breathing is harsh like there's something in her lungs...I dont know what to do! I...I can't lose her...Ben can't lose her either." Looking up at the man, Peter fell to his knees. "Please....I have nowhere else to turn."

Loki smiled kindly and placed his hand up to the shelf, palm up. "Fear not little one. I do by chance know a way to help her, but...there is a catch." He sighed and shook his head. "I don't know if you are desperate enough, but it involves meeting someone else...perhaps multiple Midgardians."

Tp say Peter was shocked was putting it lightly. Would he have to meet the person? Or people? "What...what are Midgardians?"

It took a few seconds before Loki laughed low in his throat. "I forget you live on Midgard, so you would not know of their other name, but they are humans, which I am not. I am Asgardian, the prince of Asgard, brother to Thor."

The boy stared at Loki in shock while taking a step onto the man's palm timidly. He was speaking to a prince?! "I-I-I didn't know Mr. Loki! Should I be calling you 'your highness' or something like that?" Slowly he made his way into the man's hand, still a little nervous around the man's fingers that could literally crush him with so little pressure. So when Loki gave him a look, he tensed afraid he'd hurt the man's feelings.

"You will call me Loki, young Peter. I like you so you do not have to call me as such. As for the others living here...they show me no respect and Stark is the worst with his names..." The god shivered and brought Peter close to his chest as he started walking. "I will bring you to meet doctor Banner, for he is the most familiar with human illnesses. I do not trust the others to care for your aunt." Ever since his first meeting with the doctor's alter ego he had gained a certain respect for the man.

Beginning a brisk pace, they left the room and making sure no one was around before he started for the elevator. He didn't want to stop and explain Peter's existence especially when the boy seemed to be more than worked up about the woman's condition.

"I hope he knows what happened and how to treat May," the tiny boy said. He was gripping onto Loki's fingers like a life line, his limbs shaking as he felt the wind in his hair with each of the man's steps.

"I'm sure he knows. Just explain her symptoms to him as you did to me." Loki sent a reassuring look down to the boy who looked frightened. "Are you all right?" Peter nodded, though his lips were tightly sealed which made the prince smile. "Would it help if I did this?" Bringing the boy closer to his body he secured his hand this way there was no way he would be able to fall.

Feeling the heat behind him made the boy open his eyes and look to see green fabric pressed against him. He turned his eyes upward and saw the bottom of the man's chin and little else. And believe it or not, Peter did feel safer knowing that Loki was protecting him so he slowly let go of the fingers and sat back and was actually able to enjoy the breeze, smiling a bit. 'This feels nice,' he thought as he sighed letting the beating of the giant's heart under and behind him calm him down as well.

Loki tried to pay little attention to the being leaning into his chest as he made his way to the elevator. "You are not allowed past the thirtieth floor," Friday reminded him making the man roll his eyes.

"Yes I know you dimwitted machine. You tell me every time I enter this infernal contraption. Take me to Banner."

"I can't do that, Reindeer Games," the machine replied making Peter giggle. "He is on the fortieth floor."

"Then tell him to come to me you daft waste basket!" With a huff he stormed off the elevator and made his way back to his room. I swear that idiotic mainframe is trying to make me go insane." He then brought his hand up to his face, scowling at Peter who stared at him in shock.. "And what were you laughing at in there, hmm?"

The boy's face went red and he stared down at Loki's palm. "Sorry...I thought the name was funny."

"You would. That was one of the names Stark made up when we were in Germany. He was making fun of my helmet, it had long horns adorning it."

"I'll bet it looked really cool! Not like a reindeer at all!" Peter tried to make up for his laughing wich made Loki narrow his eyes and sigh.

"You are forgiven. This time. For now we must await the arrival of Dr. Banner." Loki walked back into his room to find his brother sitting on his bed staring at the door.

"Brother! Why do you have need of a doctor? Are you sick? Injured?" Thor got up and rushed to Loki's side, completely missing the small boy in his palm and began patting Loki down, much to the smaller's disapproval.

"I am fine, Thor...I do not need the doctor." He took a look at Peter, seeing how scared he was but the small being had agreed to this. "This boy does." Finally Thor brought his gaze down to his brother's hand and his eyes went wide.

"Is that...a borrower?" He was whispering but his voice still boomed. "I have only heard stories of them! How ever did you manage to capture it?" Thor went to poke Peter, but Loki brought his other hand up to block the impending finger.

"I did not capture him. He came to me of his own volition, isn't that right young Peter?" The by who was too scared to say anything just nodded. "See? Now stop scaring him and back away." He glared at Thor until he did that. He swore his brother was the thickest idiot of them all. How did he get the offer of King before Loki?

"I truly am sorry, little one. I did not mean to scare you. I was simply excited to see one of your kind. Please accept my apology." Thor bowed his head and Peter stood there looking dumbfounded as he nodded.

"S-sure..." Was a human apologizing to him!? He knew the people of this tower were weird, but this took the cake!

"Loki, I swear if you called me up here because you turned your brother into a certain type of toy again, I will gladly ask for those chains your brother used on you last time-" Bruce stopped as he stared at the tiny figure in Loki's hands. "Please tell me that's a doll and not an innocent from the streets.." He could not handle the situation if it wasn't a doll.

"He is not a doll, nor have I shrunk him. This is Peter, he is a borrower and in dire need of your help, doctor." Loki swept his hand forward and Peter was frozen in the dark man's gaze as they stared at one another. "Do not be afraid, Peter. He is a doctor and can help your aunt."

At that Bruce snapped out of it and a look of concern came over his face. "What happened? Is someone hurt?" He bent down to look Peter in the face, concern written on his features. "Tell me what happened?"

It took a minute for the boy to unfreeze, but his need to heal his aunt came out and he nodded. "It started last week with a cough, then May was having a hard time breathing now she can't even get out of bed. She's burning up and barely wakes up and every time she breathes or coughs it sounds like she's got something in her chest but nothing comes out."

Bruce's brows went down in worry. "That sounds like pneumonia, which is serious. Peter, can you get her out here?"

At that the boy shook his head. "Uncle Ben would never allow it. He's too scared of humans." But, if it meant May's life, he was sure Ben would approve. "Maybe...maybe you can talk to him through the vents? Tell him how dangerous it is if she's not taken care of...please?" Peter was really hoping his uncle would listen to the humans. May's life depended on it.

"Well...I can try." Bruce was stunned that this being smaller than his hand was sentient enough to feel emotions. He wanted to run so many tests, ask so many questions but right now he had another patient to worry about. "Where should I speak?"

"I'll get him to come to the vents. Mr. Loki? Can you please put me on the shelf? I can climb up from there."

"I can do much better than that, little one." Loki's hand started glowing a dark green and suddenly the boy was lifted in the air, his cries turning into happy laughter as he rose towards the vents.

"Thanks Mr. Loki! I'll be right back!" Peter started running through the walls using the ledges and beams to fling himself forward untl he was slamming his front door open startling his uncle who apparently was getting ready to go out. "Uncle Ben! Come on, I found a doctor! He says she has something called Pneumonia which can kill her! Let him help May please!" He was sweating and panting, his chest rising and falling rapidly.

"P-Peter? Where have you been? Your aunt...she's not eating or drinking." He looked down at the ground sadly. "I think this may be the last for her."

Peter's head started shaking back and forth, tears falling from his eyes. "NO! Uncle Ben, you have to let this doctor take a look at her! Please! He can save her!"

Ben stared at the boy and nodded. "Where is he?"

"He's outside the vents...but...he's human." Peter winced when he said that and Ben's eyes went wide.

"H-humans?" He stuttered. "Peter how could you? You know the rules! Never be seen! Now we'll have to move and with May being so sick she'll never make it.." The man sat heavily on the armchair and stared at the boy. "You've doomed us.."

"No Uncle Ben! They're nice, I promise...please..just let the doctor treat May. I know he can save her, please! We can't...we can't lose her. Please." He whispered the last word and Ben looked up at him and finally nodded. Smiling, Peter raced into May's room and taking a look at her sick form got her to sit up. "Ben! Help me carry her please!"

Ben walked slowly into the room and collected his wife who woke to look up at him with confusion but he smiled down at her. "It'll be okay, May. I promise." He kissed her forehead and leveled a gaze at Peter. "If this doctor turns out to be just a scientist who wants to study us..."

"He's not like that. Now come on..." He started walking out of the house when doctor Banner's voice came through the vents echoing around them.

"Peter? Are you there? I've been trying to call to you for the past five minutes."

"Doctor Banner! We're coming out!" Peter helped carry May up the ledges and through the maze of bars before they reached the vents and he poked his head through. "Mr. Loki? Can you pelase do the green thing? May's too weak to climb down." The dark haired man nodded and in the next instant they were all lifted, Ben crying out and holding May closer to him as they were brought down to the dresser where the man tried to stand proud but his knees were quaking and he was trembling.

"Sir, there's no need to be scared. I'm doctor Banner. I heard your wife was sick. May I see her please?" Bruce kneeled next to the dresser and smiled softly as the man nodded and loosened his grip on May to let him see her face. "It's worse than you said, Peter. She'll need fluids and medication quickly. Mr. Parker I know its hard but please allow me to bring her to the med bay where my equipment is. Please."

Ben stared at the human for a moment before nodding. "Under one condition. I go with her." Bruce nodded and put his hand down next to the dresser and Ben stepped onto the palm, almost losing his balance but he righted himself. "You can lift us now, human."

Peter groaned and shook his head. Trust his uncle to treat the man trying to save his wife's life with an attitude. Suddenly there was pressure on the back of his shirt and he was lifted to look into Loki's eyes. "You, young one, will be staying with me until the deed is done and the doctor has save your aunt." He smiled and placed Peter in his palm. "Come. We can go and meander and look at the sights and hopefully not bump into Tony Stark."

A week had passed and May was up and feeling much better. Peter hadn't seen her since Ben had taken her up to the floor because Loki wasn't allowed up to the medbay but Friday told him multiple times a day how her condition was. So it was with anticipation that he was waiting on Loki's bed while the man paced and kept looking at the door. "Damn it all, where is that looney doctor? He said he would be here within the hour!"

"And this looney keeps his promises." Bruce walked into the room and frowned at Loki. "Peter could have come up and visited with one of the others."

At this Peter shook his head. "I..I don't know the others so I'd rather stay where I know people."

"And that's how we raised you." May's voice came from the doctor's hands and Peter smiled up and jumped trying to see her.

"May! You're okay!"

Loki who had been watching rolled his eyes and picked the boy up. "Go see your family." He brought the boy to Bruce's hands and Peter jumped off. He looked like he wanted to run to May but he knew she was still weak.

"Oh Peter...." The woman smiled and opened her arms to Peter who ran into them with a little sob.

"I'm so glad you're okay..." It felt good to be held by the woman who raised him and he held her as tight as he dared. He looked up at the doctor and with eyes he smiled. "Thank you," he said and buried his head into her shoulder. He was glad he had met Loki and that he had brought doctor Banner to save May. He knew they would always have a special place in their hearts.