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vonlipvig · 2 years

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Ranking the Not For Broadcast epilogues from happiest to bleakest, in a completely subjective and possibly contradicting fashion, because Man Some Of These Are Bad In Wildly Different Ways:

(Below the cut, because obviously, spoilers)

The 'Actually Good' Tier:

An Accord: My first epilogue, and to me, the canon ending in my heart. This one truly has it all--the truth has been exposed, democracy has been restored, and of course, the team is back together again. Maybe politically it doesn't sound quite as immediately great as the next one, but it's a step in the right direction, and c'mon, seeing Jeremy and Megan fills me with absolute joy.

A Brighter Future: PM Katie Brightman would have my vote for sure! Universal Basic Income, 4-day workweek, climate change being taken seriously, territorial independence, and more? Yeah, sign me up! Also, it seems to be set in a distant future, since this is Katie's third term as PM, which means it's really been working! Only thing bumping this one down from the top is that Jeremy is dead, so it's a rather bittersweet victory for everyone.

A New Leaf: Hey, Bannon! You're alive! Regardless of whatever ordeal he's been through, it's great to see him back (and finally as an anchor! Took the gang going to jail for it to happen, but oh well lmao). This one is pretty similar to the last one, with Katie being the frontrunner, and we have Julia being put to trial, which is deserved. Pretty alright, as endings go.

The Middle Ground: What is the most neutral ending doing this far up? Well, it gets Worse lmao. But yeah, this one is honestly a bit similar to An Accord, expect that poor Jeremy isn't offered his job back. Still, we've got democracy being respected, the news are showing the Actual News, so in my book it's pretty alright as well!

The 'Hmmm' Tier:

A Renewed Mandate: Here it starts to get a bit...hmm. Julia gets reelected, which...I wouldn't have, personally, but hey, that's democracy for you (unless there's trickery going on which oof imagine). But at least it seems that things are not as terrible as they could be. Sure, it seems Advance is really going for that 'we're all one territory' shtick, but it looks like at least other countries are choosing to join? Idk, still a bit too imperialistic for my tastes, but it does get worse.

Julia's Judgement: You might be asking 'why is this one so low?', right? Bannon is back, democracy is restored, Julia's facing criminal charges, all seems ok. Yeah, NO, that Hamilton-Mann guy is about to be president, and sorry but that seems MISERABLE. I mean, at least people had the right to CHOOSE but uhhhhhhhh, yeah no, have you heard that guy speaking? Scary stuff.

All Fall Down: This one and the next one are the hardest to place in this list for me, because they're...bad, clearly, but how bad is hard to ascertain. This is the one where the country is reduced to just a heavily fortified Territory One, and in one hand, I'm sure they're having a bad time due to the war and all, but hey, at least the other territories are finally taking back their rightful independence. But yeah, not a great time for the citizens of T1 who didn't even ask for any of this.

Inevitable Advancement: This one's funny, not even gonna lie. Sure, everyone is sterile, population numbers are dwindling, everyone is stuck with this terrible government with no possibility of an election...but something about Julia going 'MESSAGE TO ALL CITIZENS: PLEASE FUCK' just sends me into hysterics.

Under New Management: I don't care that there were elections here, this one just sucks ass. The CH1 team just gets fired and replaced, and holy shit, 'how many guns are enough?'? THIS SUCKS GET ME OUT OF THIS TIMELINE. Megan looks so gorgeous tho, mwah.

The 'What the Fuck Oh my God' Tier:

Chaos Reigns: This one's pretty bleak, not even gonna lie. The country is in shambles and nobody is safe, but at least Megan's out there doing her best to keep the people informed (possibly with Jenny helping her out? I can dream). Still, it seems like everyone is fucking miserable, so it lands down here in the terrible tier. I can't tell if it's bleaker than the next ones or not, because they're very different types of bleak (and anyway, the next ones hurt me personally lmao).

A Better Jeremy: LOOK WHAT THEY DID TO MY BOY! I don't care that this one and the next one might seem like happier futures at first (cause we all know how much Megan and the rest can act like everything's fine when it clearly isn't fine at all), THIS ONE IS SO EVIL, Julia's like 'look we brainwashed and tortured this guy until he became a hollow shell of his former self!' and everyone has to be like 'YAY! SOCO!' like HOW FUCKING EVIL AAAAAAAAAA.

Jeremy's Injustice: I DON'T CARE THAT POPULATION NUMBERS ARE RISING AND THAT EVERYONE IS HAPPY AND WHATEVER, THEY JUST MURDERED JEREMY DONALDSON IN COLD BLOOD AND COVERED IT UP LIKE IT WAS AN ACCIDENT OR SOMETHING. THEY'RE MAKING MEGAN HAVE TO SMILE THROUGH THIS WHEN THEY KNOW FULL WELL SHE KNOWS THEY KILLED HIM. I'M GONNA RIP THEM TO SHREDS.

Wacky Fun: THE EVERYONE IS DEAD ENDING! All your faves died horrible, violent deaths (and some of them had to watch as others died!), there are no news anymore, the country is probably as fucked up and in disarray as in some of the others, and the only thing you can watch on TV is the most unhinged and manic children's programming. Still, this one has Geoff Algebra suffering, which is better than most of the epilogues here can offer.

Changing of the Guard: Nope nope nope nope. Fuck the military dictatorship ending. Worst possible outcome, you can't change my mind. Bad.

#not for broadcast #ok that's all the epilogues ranked in my point of view!#which obviously might change tomorrow who knows lmao this was TOUGH #the middle is soooo ehatever cause theyre all Bad in different ways #but at least i think the worst and best are pretty alrightly ranked

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crimsonwolfie · 4 years

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Best Mistake — Hamish Duke x Reader (x Knights)

Requested by @mysticalcrownbear

Prompt: The Knights accidently summon you, (the reader) a succubus when trying to summon Zecchia. You have a strong liking towards Hamish Duke, and he’s very much into you too.

Word count: 2,095

Hope you guys like this!! Sorry if it’s crap - requests are open!!

Masterlist

Best Mistake Part 2

“It’s not that they have all our stuff...they stole it. So - let’s steal it all back” Jack whispers as he leans forward, straightening his posture in seriousness.

“Are you suggesting a magic heist?!” Randall says, stalking towards Jack

“Yes. A magic heist” Jack replies as he steps up from the couch. Both boys shine a ray of mischief in their eyes and madness in their energy

“MAGIC HEIST! MAGIC HEIST!” They both chant, as Hamish and Lilith begin joining in synchronisation

“MAGIC HEIST MAGIC HEIST MAGIC HEIST!” The Knights chant like toddlers demanding candy.

—

“Well you didn’t think to warn us about that?!” Lilith hissed, eyes dark with fear and damage after the images she’d experienced. Hamish, Jack and Randall all sat with Lilith in the Blade and Chalice collectively recovering from their fear corners. Lilith rocked slightly from side to side whilst Jack was holding a pack of ice on the side of his head. They were tired, scared, drained...but desperate. They couldn’t get into the vault without being stuck in the “fear corridor”. Hamish chugged a swig of his whiskey, slamming the glass down onto the table with force, trying his best to forget what he went through -

“Stupid Ricky Simarco and his stupid fifth birthday party” he groaned, eyes fixed into a trance like state

“What did you see?” Randall asked Lilith, who replies with a simple “nothing”.

“Nothing?” He asks again, confused to why she didn’t see anything

“Nothing.” She confirms, although her shaken state says otherwise.

“Okay, since we can’t get through to the vault, i found the perfect solution” Jack enthusiastically gushes. “We summon a demon! There’s loads of different types to summon and i think i found the perfect one!”

The fellow knights all look around at each other in suspicion...could this actually work? Or is Jack literally insane?

“It’s name is a Zecchia” Jack points towards a yellow dusted page in an old, crippled book “it’s a baron demon, meaning it steals anything that the summoner desires it to”

“Won’t we have to do something for it? You know, a catch?” Lilith questions, her big brown eyes looking up to Jack

“No! You see that’s the beauty of it. We call it, they show up, we pay the toll and they’ll do our bidding!” He replies almost as if it was complete rocket science. “You just gotta follow the protocol perfectly”

“I’m in-“

“-Me too!” Hamish and Lilith both declare with their whole chests, meanwhile Randall starts struggling with the decision...

“Nope.” He announces. “No thanks. No way. Nope. Not a demon. Not ever.” Adamant as ever, he puts his hand on the table as a way to stand against the debate. He gets up and walks away before the others can stop him.

“We’re still doing this.”

“Yeah totally”

“He’ll get over it”

Hamish, Lilith and Jack all stand around the summoning circle, ready to summon Zecchia, the thief demon.

“Zecchia, appear before us so that we may negotiate the fee for your service to empty the vault of the Hermetic Order of the Blue Rose and remand those goods into the possession of the Knights of Saint Christopher” they all chant in synchronisation. Below their feet is a demon trap, purposed to trap the summoned demon in order to negotiate wisely. As soon as they finish the chant, a sound of wind brushes past them...but shorty followed by silence.

“Zecchiaaa?” Jack quietly echos into the distance of the house, uncertain if the summoning ritual worked or not. The 3/4 knights walk around the hallway wondering where they went wrong.

“Maybe we messed up the incantation?” says Lilith

“We did everything right?” Hamish replies

Suddenly, the door bursts open as Randall rushes in, slightly out of breath

“- guys STOP don’t do this-” He shouts as he blows out the candles nearest to him on the floor “-Alyssa and i were discussing demon summonings and-“

“-and you suck at it” you pipe up.

Emerging from the shadows of the staircase, you quietly and elegantly walk down, eyes never leaving the people below you...but one in specific - the man dressed in the waistcoat. You’re wearing a red, laced spaghetti strap bodysuit that’s tucked under a pair of tight fitted sheer black leggings (clearly i’m not going to have you wear only underwear and a bra like every other succubus - *que that not on MY WATCH vine* we are more PG here y’all - also may i add, your body size does not matter here. All body types are beautiful and you should love your body, don’t fall for these skinny stereotypes! Curvy girls are breathtaking too!!! <3 okay back to the story lmao). With midnight black wings as beautiful as can be and horns impeccable in sight, you stare with your big Y/E/C eyes as your long Y/H/C, silky locks fall past your shoulders. The sound of your black stiletto heels click and clack on the wooden floorboards, as further silence echos in the walls. The Knights are struck by your beauty, chocked for words at what they’re seeing in front of them. You swiftly bring your wings to your side, stroking your arms as you approach the people below you.

“You’re not what...we...expected” Randall slurs- i mean drools ;)

“That’s because i’m not” you sigh, bringing your arms across your body. “You summoned me, a succubus. Not Zecchia. But hey, you’re not the first...you’re meant to use alcohol as a summoning ingredient. She’s a sucker for it...senses it from many realms away” you continue, shaking your head and rolling your eyes playfully. Looking around the room, you can’t help but keep looking back to the tall man who has a perfect complexion and long, dirty blonde hair with blue crystal eyes. With lips so succulent...you want to kiss all over them and run your hands through his locks, as he uses his large, soft hands to roam around your body-

“So who did we summon?” Your thoughts are interrupted by the small, gorgeous lady to your right. She has blue streaks in her black hair, and a cute little button nose that you want to just *boop*!

“I’m Y/N, a succubus” you smile delicately at the woman in front of you, glancing back to the man who caught your eye before.

“And you are?” You question, turning your attention to the male on your right

“I’m Lili-“

“Not you! This handsome gentleman in front of me” you point with your long, ‘black as night’ painted fingertip towards the tallest man.

“I-i’m Hamish. Hamish Duke” he replies, cheeks blushing a gentle shade of crimson.

“You’re really hot” you tease, biting your lower lip in hot anticipation at your dirty thoughts. Hamish’s eyes widen at this, bringing his hands towards his front slightly.

“I could say the same for you, love” He gulps. He doesn’t know this, but you can actually read his thoughts; images of him pushing you up against the wall, his hands on your ass as your legs wrap around his middle, lips working sweet magic as you’re caressing his face and hair...leaving small, wet pecks on his neck as he moans your name out loud, thrusti-

“Hey, i’m Randall” the tall, pretty brunette calls out, stepping towards you. He brings his hand out to shake, to which you accept. A huge grin is painted across his face as his hand touches your dainty one, Lilith just rolls her eyes and huffs.

“Okay okay let’s wrap this up here” she remarks, pulling Randall away from you. You turn to see a shorter male, who sports platinum blonde hair that falls to the side of his face. His eyes are wide, mouth slightly parted and eyebrows furrowed.

“Are you alright, pretty boy?” You ask, genuine concern across your face. Randall giggles like a school boy at your words, repeating (and i quote) “hehe pretty boy heheee” quietly in the sidelines whilst pointing at Jack.

“I....uh....hi” Jack replies, fixing his hair after noticing you were looking at him

You lightly laugh “hi, cutie”

You look back over to Hamish, as his filthy visions are still happening

“I can read your thoughts, you know” you laugh as he blushes bright red and covers his front completely now

“It’s okay, i liked them” you continue in a husky tone, stepping closer towards him with your hands in front of you, gasping to be touching him.

He reaches his hand out towards your stretched hand, gently touching your fingers and delicately wrapping his large ones round them. You both intertwine fingers, as gazes are locked onto you both. He pulls you towards him, his head tilting slightly in awe at your appearance.

“Uhhh...okayyyy?” Lilith gawked as the rest of the Knights share glances of pure confusion and slight panic.

You chuckle lightly at Hamish’s actions, as

he wraps his arms around your lower back, swaying from side to side.

“You’re beautiful” he whispers into your ear which sends excited chills down your spine. He smiles looking down at you.

“What is happening right now?” Jack asks the others, who shrug their shoulders watching like hawks. Lightly, you plant a small kiss on his lips...which Hamish returns, only with more passion and lust. The kiss deepens as his hands grip tighter and your thrusting into him for more becomes intolerable, until you both need to release for air.

“Uhh Hamish? Y/N? Hello?” Randall waves his hands in the air trying to signal Hamish, but proves useless. As you’re heavily gasping in air, you notice Hamish’s mouth - your red lipstick has smudged all over his mouth

“BRO you look like a clown!!” Randall cracks up, laughing hysterically. Jack and Lilith snort upon seeing Hamish’s state, but he doesn’t care. He quickly and forcefully grabs you again and drops you bridal-style whilst passionately making out with you once again. Jack, Lilith and Randall all look back up from their laughter fits to see you two basically eating each other’s faces. Suddenly, it’s not that funny anymore - just disturbing.

“Okay that’s enough, Ham-burger” Randall shouts. Nothing.

“Yo Hamish dude stop” Jack sings, which again does nothing to Hamish and you.

“Yeah this is now how i thought my Tuesday was going to go” Lilith says as she gestures towards you two. “Is he enchanted or something?!”

“I uh...maybe?” Jack mutters

“Maybe i am too” Randall eyeballs you and Hamish “wait...i said that out loud didn’t i?” he quickly looks down and plants his face with his hands. Yeah...he was totally thinking of a threesome at that time.

Begrudgingly you break the contact between yours and Hamish’s soft lips and lift yourself up from his arms, yet he continues leaving sweet, soft kisses on your neck.

“I know what you’re thinking, cutie” you look up to Randall, who squeals in embarrassment and mouths ‘don’t tell them’ towards you, making you laugh.

“What were you thinking about?” Jack asks

“Basically he was thinkin-“ you begin

“NO no NO DON’T say anything” Randall barks out, breaking Hamish from his trail of leaving kisses down your neck

“You know what nevermind” Jack grunts as he scrunches his eyebrows up in discomfort.

“Okay this is getting too weird now. Hey, Y/N can we get Zecchia please” Lilith asks, seemingly annoyed

You sigh loudly, clearly annoyed that your fun was about to be wrapped up “fine. But i want to see you again” you say, stroking Hamish’s hair out of his face.

“Why does she have to go? Can’t she stay for a little longer?” Hamish pleads, but is shut down by Lilith giving him a death stare whilst growing towards him.

“It’s okay, she’s right. Okay well this was amazing. Call me again” you say as you wink towards Hamish, who’s knees buckle slightly. You walk towards the middle of the room and straighten yourself up, lifting the strap of your top back onto your shoulder.

“Nice to see you, lovelies” you give a little wave with your hand, then click your fingers and disappear. The Knights all glare round to Hamish, who straightens himself up and buttons his waistcoat back up.

“Have fun there buddie?” Randall quips, smirking slightly at his friend

Hamish doesn’t say anything, he just looks down in embarrassment

“Oh, and you might wanna-“ Randall gestures for him to wipe his lips, as Jack and Lilith silently chuckle from the other side of the room.

It’s safe to say, you left your imprint on Hamish Duke...and he won’t be forgetting that any time soon.

Let me know what you guys thought, and of you want any more fanfic :)

#hamish duke imagine #hamish duke #hamish duke x reader #the order season 2 #the order imagine #the order #the order netflix #randall carpio #randall carpio x reader #the knights of saint christopher #lilith bathory #jack morton #alyssa drake #lilith bathory x reader #jack morton x reader

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7-seasof-fandom · 4 years

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I’d love to hear it!

Tw: mention of self harm

(Takes place just sorta out of the plot? Not really a specific time or event)

Alright, okay- so basically The Handler manages to kidnap Five and gets the commision to do the DNA split without him knowing, then just yeets him back when they took him and it's like he never left and he has no idea, but he starts constantly having the impulse to kill, like no matter who. Even his siblings, and of course that starts to really get to him, especially as the urge gets quite strong at times and it really concerns him.

It gets to a point where he has to get out all the energy and aggression which is building up somehow, and he turns to scratching at his own skin quite violently in order to get the thoughts to go away. He just does it places on his body where his sibs won't see, since he doesn't want them finding out and also tries to isolate himself more. Then one day while he's with them the thoughts get really really bad and without realizing they're around to see he goes to scratch at his wrist, which Klaus notices and grabs his hand to stop him. Five lashes out quite badly and attacks because stress and murderous impulses is a bad combination. When he comes to his senses and realize what he did, he immediately jumps away to some place where he hides, going into a breakdown, unable to move or really do anything and all he's doing is just hyperventilating, scratching at his face in panic and pulling at his hair.

The Handler first makes a visit to his siblings, gloating about how apparently Five really just couldn't stay away from the killing and how he would just always be a killer since "he tried to kill you." They don't really believe her, but it's enough to make them wary of following him without a more fledged out plan.

Then she goes to him and basically has some agents come and take him. When back at The Comission she has a lot of fun playing with his mind, messing it up with torture and mind games to the point of him losing his memory of everything including his family. His anxiety habit of scratching at his own face and pulling at his hair stays, which is why he has the scars and they cut his hair short to avoid him having much to pull at.

At some point The Handler decides to have some fun and once and for all get his sibs out of the pic and she sends Five after them. He doesn't recognize them, and they don't recognize him at first either until they see his tattoo. Klaus, desperate to snap him out of it, shows him his own tattoo and Five is about to kill him when he then snaps out of it and recognize him. He's super exhausted and almost passes out in Klaus' arms, unable to really do much else than just stay there as he cries hysterically until he passes out because man his head is a mess at that point.

Once again, @deadliest-little-thing helped me with this so their au too lmao

#au #mr five #five hargreeves #tua asks #tua #the umbrella academy #tua au

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ace-trainer-risu · 3 years

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I finally....I finally finished Spn...I just watched the last three episodes tonight....

(terminal amounts of snark beneath so be warned)

Despair obviously is Good and actually THE scene is much more emotional and moving in context and probably I would have cried if I hadn't already known what happened

BUT GEEZY PETES the last episode is embarrassingly bad. The party city wig....looked WORSE in context as;dlkfj SO MUCH WORSE. oh my god I inappropriately laughed so many times. also i was probably reading too much into this but in the little goodbye thing from J2 at the end, Jensen looked like he wished for death lmao. oh my god and the wayward sons cover. what.

like did they....did they really. did they really think that was good??? b/c it was...bad. Not just in terms of content (altho A) what a bullllllshitttttt ending for Dean, and B) there was literally no reason for Cas to not show up when Dean was in heaven except that then they would have had to Deal With It and obviously they couldn't stand to do that) but URGH, the pacing was super weird and awkward. There's a lot of scenes that basically rely on you feeling Sad in that scene and if you don't then the scene just goes on forever. Dean's death scene was...like obviously that's a big deal and they want to give a fitting send off and all that, and I respect that, but it went on way too long and really killed the emotion for me, was....a lil bit bizarrely? homoerotic? (and i'm NOT a w/incest shipper and never have been), and also they FULLY could have called an ambulance in that amount of time lol. there was something dean said in this Very Sad Scene which made my laugh hysterically but I already don't remember what so that's how low impact it was. Also there's a second where they zoom in on them like holding hands and I was like I s2g if Dean's hand dramatically falls limply AND THEN IT LITERALLY DID (*edit: I remembered the thing Dean said that made me laugh, it was something like, "Oh, I did not expect today to go like this...BUT IT DID" and I absolutely lost it.)

also when Dean died and Sam was Sad(TM) I whispered "Jared is GUTTED"

Just....not good team. Not. good.

also also like I definitely get that the last few epis were filmed mid-pandemic and that must have been rough and fair enough, I would understand if there was just Issues that wouldn't allow felicia day and/or shoshannah stern etc to be on set (from what I have heard, shoshannah at least was willing, so :( but idk what was going on behind scenes, maybe there was some reason it wouldn't work for whatever reason), but they still could have dropped a SINGLE line like "Oh yeah I just got off the phone with Charlie and her and Stevie are doing great :)" or showed Sam texting Eileen or whatever tf, just to ya know confirm these characters. ARE ALIVE. and like, Jody and Claire just basically not even being present in the last season??? smh. ALSO???? WHATEVER HAPPENED TO KEVIN FREAKIN TRAN?

I did like the dog tho I admit.

anyway...it occurs to me that I'm fairly positive I first started watching spn in 2011. And now, a decade later, it's over....I'm free................

until the next spn drama happens in a week and I gleefully jump back in.

#things you didn't care to know about veronica #spn negative #spn #SORRY to tag it with spn at all but i want it to be stored on my blog

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makeste · 5 years

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BnHA Chapter 249: Todoroki Taco Night

Previously on BnHA: Nothing happened at all, because the manga was on break last week! Fortunately the anime had finally resumed after a billion years (estimation; exact length of time may be slightly off), so we had that to take the edge off in the meantime. Except we didn’t, because the anime also ended up going on break due to a rugby game or some shit. So that was nice. On a related note, when I die I’d like the Basement arc to lower me into my grave, so it can let me down one last time.

Anyway, Endeavor did some mentoring and gave Shouto and Kacchan a power-up assignment and told Deku to work on Air Force to help him master the fine control he needs for the Bloop. Then Fuyu called a week later and was all “HEY DAD, DINNER, OUR PLACE, TONIGHT, BRING THE KIDS.” And then as previously mentioned, we waited two whole fucking weeks and MY GOD, my body is ready, on to the new chapter we go!

Today on BnHA: Shouto, Katsuki, and Deku are cordially invited to Todosmith Farms for an evening of food and fun! They make it approximately six minutes into dinner before Natsu loses it and exits with more theatrics than a spurned reality TV show contestant. Baku and Deku spend the next hour being all “!!!” at each other back and forth, and whispering about how fucking dramatic the Todorokis are, which fully kills me and is my favorite thing ever to happen in the world. Deku then begins to guide Shouto through his personal healing process like fucking Mufasa booming at Simba from the heavens, and meanwhile Endeavor listens in while quietly kneeling before HIS DEAD SON’S PHOTOGRAPH, IN THE SHRINE THEY BUILT FOR SAID DEAD SON IN HIS BEDROOM, and sorrowfully wishing he could do more for his family. Anyways so I’m in ruins now, but otherwise fine. How are you?

(All comments are my unspoiled reactions from my initial readthrough of the chapter. I did a quick edit for grammar and clarity afterward, and added a few ETAs in the process, but aside from that there are no changes.)

well it’s Thursday morning, and I have just seen the picture of baby white-haired Touya because no one in this fandom knows how to fucking spoiler tag (and that’s on me too for browsing the BnHA tag on a Thursday; I know better, but I was just curious how this new group chat thing was working out), so here are my immediate thoughts

we never actually confirmed that the hair color correlates to their powers, huh. we just assumed. but come to think, there’s no reason why someone couldn’t have mom’s hair but dad’s quirk. it’s all Shouto’s fault for being a perfect 50/50 split and thus making everyone assume that THAT’S JUST HOW IT WORKS. damn you Shouto and your dramatic character design

anyways I tried not to look at the pic for too long -- once I realized what I was looking at, I averted my eyes -- but he does look like Dabi, I think. oh shit guys. it’s really fucking happening

and I also didn’t get a good enough look to determine whether this was a photo of Touya (that Deku or whoever happened to spot while visiting the Todochester Mystery House for the much-hyped dinner) or a flashback image (in which he is just standing really fucking still for some reason and staring directly at the camera), so I guess we’ll see. but anyways, Deku and Kacchan didn’t come all the way down to Todoroki taco night to not have their evening peppered with intricate family drama and reopened wounds and hysterical conspiracy theories, so you had better keep them goddamn entertained! lord knows the Todorokis don’t do small talk. this is literally their only way of spicing things up so their guests don’t die of sheer awkwardness while Endeavor sits in stony silence and Shouto just stuffs his face with soba all night

also aren’t we due some popularity poll results soon? just getting in all my random thoughts now before we dive in. anyways Horikoshi, so you know what I want to see now and you better deliver

aaaand now it’s Friday! so Happy Birthday Aizawa, and LET’S GET TO THAT CHAPTER

and we’re opening with Endeavor’s Redemption Arc: The Page. omg

holy fucking shit BnHA. you sure do have a way of making me wait WITH BATED BREATH!! FOR TWO WEEKS!!! ON THE EDGE OF MY SEAT!!!! for the new fucking chapter only to have me immediately suck in a deep breath through my teeth and seriously reconsider whether I am in any way emotionally prepared to handle this. “you think you know what you want?!” Horikoshi demands. “YOU HAVE NO IDEA.” sob it’s trueeee

okay. okay. we can do this. hell, if we made it through Tomura’s flashbacks then this should be child’s play. so all right, let’s go

-- oh wait, but before I click to the next page, I just want to note that Endeavor isn’t the only one who’s nowhere to be found in this pic, though! boy you have three sons. uno dos tres

“the hellish Todoroki residence” lmao this legitimately sounds like the title of a Buzzfeed Unsolved episode

ARE YOU TELLING ME ENDEAVOR PROVIDES LUXURY APARTMENTS FOR ALL HIS FUCKING EMPLOYEES OMFG

SO MY THREE SONS HAVE ALL BEEN ROOMING TOGETHER UNDER ENDEAVOR’S ROOF!? THE FANFIC ENDEAVOR AGENCY RESIDENCES?! WHAT KIND OF OT3 SHENANIGANS HAVE BEEN ABOUNDING THIS PAST WEEK OH MY GOODNESS THIS IS LIKE A DREAM

OH MY GOD

okay I have like... ten different notes I want to make about Katsuki and I don’t know where to start SO I’LL JUST START SOMEWHERE!

I’ve legit wanted to see how he would look with his mask pushed up into his hair like a headband for the longest fucking time (I don’t know why! I just wanted to see it!) so this. is. Christmas for me omg. if only he wasn’t making one of his (◣д◢) faces and was instead making a normal face. but that’s probably too much to ask of him at THE CRACK OF DAWN, which brings me to my next point,

I thought he was a morning person?? [furiously checking headcanon notes] kid you go to bed at 8pm. you have your full eight hours by four in the fucking morning. and the full nine and a half hours that GROWING BOYS ACTUALLY NEED by 5:30am, which is when I always assumed you typically woke up in order to get in your morning workout and BEAST IT UP IN THE PIT or whatever gym people do. yet here you are, half dead, while Deku and Burnin’ are raring to go. were you just burning the midnight oil and that’s why you’re grumpy? WAS IT THE FANFIC AGENCY RESIDENCES SHENANIGANS, OH MY GOD I CAN’T

lastly, look at that unzipped collar. why is it that the more disheveled he looks the more I want to pile him up in a headlock and give him noogies. I love him so fucking much, this is ridiculous, he was only gone for two weeks but it felt like SEVENTEEN YEARS anyway

so Burnin’ is all “catch any villains faster than Endeavor yet, LOL, LIKE THAT COULD EVER HAPPEN!!” and they’ve been putting up with this trolling for a fucking week now huh. no wonder Katsuki’s ready to pack it in and sleep for the next year

motherfucker holy shit

sure thing coach. Todoroki Shouto out here ready for the morning huddle. BRING IT IN! ONE TWO THREE PLUS ULTRA

meanwhile Katsuki better keep his hair like that for the rest of the arc now. the collar too. I am living for this

what is Shouto doing with his hands

are you blowing a kiss. or beckoning toward her like Neo in the Matrix. are you channeling your inner Iida. wtf is this

this one panel perfectly encapsulates everything I love about this OT3 dynamic oh my god

Katsuki screaming at Todoroki that he’s better than him (based on impeccable, flawless logic). Shouto completely disregarding this and calmly continuing to have a normal conversation at a normal person volume. and Deku ignoring them both while sending the chipperest, most positive energy in the world out toward this other person because he loves everyone!!

and now there’s three closeups of the boys showing how worn out they are

they’ve been working so hard I’m so proud of them and also they totally deserve a night off to go gorge themselves on soba at Toderly Manor

and then there’s a whole nother page continuing to establish that it has been a week! and they’re working hard! and YES, WE KNOW, though

yep yep yep we get it now WHAT ABOUT THAT DINNER oh my god. it’s been four pages! and if we’re only getting thirteen again then this is precious real estate we’re just wasting here, come onnnnn

so Endeavor is continuing to show off how great he is while the kids look on in frustration

heh but I like this panel because LOOK AT THEM

ALL THREE OF THEM CAN FLY (basically). I love it. yes. just let them be airborne for the rest of the series

meanwhile Endeavor’s thinking agitated thoughts about how Fuyu wants him to try and CONNECT TO THE CHILDREN ON AN ACTUAL EMOTIONAL LEVEL, like what do you think he is?? a human being??!

lol he’s got that look like “WHY DON’T YOU JUST KILL ME NOW AND BE DONE WITH IT.” things he would rather do than have a family dinner with his kids and his two new apprentices: literally. anything. else. ah, but Endeavor. no one said the path of Not Being A Bastard would be easy

he’s thinking about how happy Fuyu sounded on the phone, though. “the thought of us finally becoming a real family...” c’mon Enji you can’t just let your only daughter down like that

and also me. you better not fucking let me down. I was promised dinner at Todoton Abbey and DAMN IT THIS IS HAPPENING

lol he’s getting all fired up and the kids are just mindlessly yelling back like “FUCK YEAH”

even the guy in the background’s like “YEAHHHHHHH LET’S DO ITTT.” the best part is how not a single one of them has any clue what they are loudly agreeing to

OH MY GOD

TODOLAND RANCH, AT LONG LAST. YESSSSS

lmao Kacchan

“it’s not too late!” he is so desperate, bless him. all he wanted was to curl up in his room with a bowl of spicy ramen after a long day and watch old All Might clips on Youtube while blissfully not interacting with a single other soul. and now instead they’ve dragged him to fucking Todo-a-Lago for dinner with his boss, his two best friends who he hates, and SOMEONE’S SISTER. what a nightmare

FUYUMIIIIII

worst part is, I don’t think Kacchan will be able to resist Fuyu’s Kind Elementary School Teacher Energy at all. he’s totally screwed. -- OH MY GOD, IS HE HIDING

like, I know this is the Todoroki drama chapter and that’s where my focus should be, and I’M SORRY, but you guys all know what you signed up for by this point, right? you can read a million other Todo hot takes on tumblr today, but this will forever be the blog that spends paragraphs and paragraphs obsessing over Kacchan hiding behind the door frame and sulking and asking “why though?” in increasingly petulant tones like a four-year-old because SOMEONE DRAGGED HIM TO A SOCIAL EVENT and this is his personal hell! Fuyu’s gonna end up having to manually feed him chicken like Satou did at the party

meanwhile now that I’m actually READING THE REST OF THE PANEL LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, I have to pause for a moment to let my heart break over Deku saying that he hardly ever gets invited over by friends. hey Deku come here for a moment, I just have to give you a dozen hugs real quick and then you can continue as you were

anyway so guys I literally owe Todoroki Fuyumi my life and I want to send her flowers with a “THANKS FOR SAVING THE MANGA” card but it’ll have to wait until the chapter is done. let’s continue

NATSU’S HERE TOO, SHOUTO SAW HIS SHOES, OH M Y GO D

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

(ETA: shout out to Natsu for wearing the greatest shirt of all time and taking Deku’s rookie-tier gags to THE NEXT LEVEL!)

I LOVE EVERYTHING. I’M SOBBING. BLESS YOU HORIKOSHI. LET THE GAMES BEGIN!!

holy shit Deku

Alton fucking Brown over here. chill my dude

NATSU BRINGING THAT DRAMA YESSSS

and look how oblivious Deku is to the general vibe settling in here

what the fuck do you see. you just literally had no idea how else to respond to that, huh

oh my god oh my fucking god

(ETA: I’m laughing so hard and I’ll explain in the tags. sob.)

guys let me just break down these two panels for you

1. Fuyu is all “NATSU YOU COOKED TOO”

2. Shouto is all “WTF, I ATE NATSU FOOD AND NO ONE FUCKING TOLD ME”

3. Natsu is all “YOU PROBABLY DIDN’T BECAUSE... THAT MAN PROBABLY WOULDN’T ALLOW IT”

how the fuck is there drama brewing over the fucking cooking. this fucking family. and Shouto’s face is two seconds away from being my new icon omg

LMAO

SO YOU TWO FINALLY FUCKING CONNED ON TO THE DANGEROUS SITUATION YOU’VE FOUND YOURSELVES IN, HUH. that’s right bitches. welcome to Todo’s Landing

and now Fuyu has finally made a FATAL ERROR IN JUDGEMENT oh no. that error being trying to fall back on Shouto of all people to ease the awkward tension. that boy literally is made up of awkward tension. right down to his atoms. Fuyu what were you thinking??

FUYUMI: [SLAMS HANDS ON TABLE] “SHOUTO WHAT KIND OF FOOD DO YOU EAT AT SCHOOL!!!!”

SHOUTO: [LEAPING TO HIS FEET] “AT THE CAFETERIA!!!!”

someone help me I’m fucking dying. actually, you know what, help them

“yo Deku, do you wanna get the fuck out of here right now.” “yes, yes I do.” turns out, they didn’t really need that internship anyway. maybe they can still convince the centipede man to take them instead

holy shit

like, I feel so bad for him, but also Fuyu looks so fucking sad and I can’t?? this is too much, and things haven’t even gotten spicy yet. this arc is going to leave me a wreck

DSFKSLDFJLK

“it’s okay,” Horikoshi says comfortingly, “here’s a panel of your two good boys helping clean up.” WELL THANK YOU, EXCUSE ME FOR A MOMENT, I’M GOING TO GO SIT. and think about Katsuki being a fucking gentleman whose momma raised him right and who helps clean up the dishes after being invited over for dinner. never mind that he didn’t even help clean up the Christmas party. but he saw Fuyu being sad and immediately went MY GOD, I’VE GOT TO DO SOMETHING TO HELP THIS STUPIDLY NICE LADY

anyway so are you two going to ask Endeavor why his kids hate him so fucking much. or just ignore it because you pretty much know the gist already because Shouto can’t keep a lid closed on anything

OH MY GOD THEY’RE HAVING A SECRET CONVERSATION ABOUT IT

FFFFFFFdfsLK -- “YOU GUYS WERE TALKING ABOUT IT RIGHT NEXT TO ME, ON ACCOUNT OF I WAS STANDING RIGHT THERE, IN THE SHADOWS, BECAUSE I WAS EAVESDROPPING, SHUT UP”

anyways so did you guys know that Deku and Kacchan having whispered conversations about how dramatic the fucking Todorokis are is my all-time aesthetic. I didn’t know either actually. but it is

Fuyu why are you apologizing to Shouto for making him help clean up

AND WHY ARE YOU PERSISTING IN MAKING THAT FACE. SON OF A BITCH. GIRL I’M BRINGING YOU SOME ICE CREAM AND SOME DVDS. WE’RE GONNA HAVE A SLEEPOVER AND FORGET ALL ABOUT THIS SHIT. PLEASE FEEL BETTER. I’M SORRY YOUR TWIN BROTHER IS DEAD AND YOUR WISH TO HAVE A NORMAL FAMILY IS NEVER GOING TO FUCKING COME TRUE BECAUSE WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS OMG

oh my god she’s having a heart to heart with Shouto about how he feels about Endeavor. oh my god I see Horikoshi aiming a bow right at my fucking heart. he’s notching the fucking arrow, this is it, it’s been real you guys

that look in his one visible eye. god. there it is. oh god. hurts

(ETA: do you suppose all of the Todorokis have secretly had that exact same dream. we know Fuyu has, and Rei as well based on her letter. I’m starting to think that Shouto has too. it only makes sense that a boy who was denied a real childhood for the first fifteen years of his life is going to have some part of him that secretly longs to just have a normal family. in related news, Shouto had better get some fucking hugs in this arc!)

-- ARE YOU SERIOUS

WHAT IS IT WITH HORIKOSHI LATELY AND BEING DONE WITH JUST IMPLYING THINGS AND NOW VERY INTO SHOWING THEM IN EXPLICIT HORRIFYING DETAIL. HERE’S A DEAD DOG! HERE’S A DYING CHILD! HERE’S A SIX-YEAR-OLD WHOSE MOM JUST POURED SCALDING WATER ON HIS FUCKING FACE AND SHE DIDN’T MEAN TO BUT IT’S TOO LATE AND NOW THEY’RE BOTH TRAUMATIZED. AND SHE’S USING HER QUIRK TO HEAL HIM AND HELLO, THIS ONE PANEL IS ABOUT TO MAKE ME START CRYING. KATSUKI YOU WERE RIGHT. WHY, THOUGH

(ETA: yeah this does not bode well for an upcoming flashback in which a child was presumably burned the fuck alive. feels like Horikoshi was testing the waters to see how much he could get away with. we may be in for some brutal shit pretty shortly.)

OH MY GOD A LETTER

they’re going to discharge her soon!?? IMMINENT FEELINGS INBOUND. I HAVE NO MORE SPACE TO PUT THEM!! MY HOUSE IS PACKED WITH FUCKING FEELINGS ALREADY, PLEASE

ahhhh he says he doesn’t know

this is the most realistic fucking thing I’ve read in this manga to this date. not knowing how you feel about the abusive parent who did so much harm but is now trying to change. boyyyyy howdy I feel that in my fucking bones. Horikoshi is out there delivering the real shit. goddamn

KATSUKI MY HERO

it’s as though Horikoshi placed his hands on his shoulders and said “listen up sonny boy, I’ve got an important job that only you can do. defuse this tension. in any way you can.” and Katsuki looked him dead in the eye and said “I got this”

meanwhile Deku’s hoping he can spontaneously develop another new quirk which will open up a hole in the ground to swallow him up

DEKU: “I HAD PERMISSION!!!” KACCHAN: “I DIDN’T HAVE SHIT!!”

HE IS BITCHING LIKE A DISGRUNTLED HOUSEWIFE HOLY SHIT I’M LOSING MY MIND

“A NORMAL, PLEASANT EVENING!!” yes of course, that’s why you spent the entire ride over here clinging to Todoroki’s shirt and repeating “WHY” ad infinitum. anyways as usual this child is a nightmare whose fickle tirades absolutely no one deserves to be subjected to, god bless him and I adore him so

and Deku is again apologizing for him like they’re fucking married. this chapter is filled with so many highs and lows for me, it’s wild

this, to be clear, is one of the highs. god I love it

oh shit it looks like Deku’s getting ready to say something! SOMETHING WISE, I BET

YESSSSSSS

IS HE?? sometimes this kid can just peer into other people’s souls with perfect clarity, it’s uncanny

oh my god Shouto’s face

genuine shock. he doesn’t even know how he feels, but somehow Deku is able to cut right to the heart of it

oh my god Katsuki’s there to chime right in too and say “but if you feel like he doesn’t deserve forgiveness that’s fucking fine too”

this is actually incredibly fucking supportive? anyway so guys have I mentioned within the last five seconds how much I love Bakugou fucking Katsuki. I have? well that’s okay I’ll just say it again anyway. and also I love Deku and Shouto too oh my god. bless this chapter

oh lol nevermind that still Deku talking while Katsuki is just making faces. well he’s doing his best. anyways so like I said I love Midoriya fucking Izuku

(ETA: [chinhands] do you guys think. that perhaps. Midoriya Izuku might be harboring some unresolved feelings regarding his own absent daddo. maybe. ??? why does this chapter have so many layers??)

ah I see, Katsuki spied Natsu just STANDING THERE LISTENING IN THE DARK, as one does, and that’s why the face

and also YES, Shouto is like the kindest fucking person in the whole series possibly. thank you for acknowledging that?? I’m in the process of arranging all of these new feels into a comfy little pile now, so maybe I can curl up in them. if Horikoshi insists on delivering more and more

SLDKFJSLDKFLSHGLKJKLJSLGKJSDLFKSDLFKJLSDKJFLKSL

“THE OTHER CHILD WHO’S NO LONGER THERE” RED ALERT, RED FUCKING ALERT, IT’S REALLY HAPPENING, HOLY FUCKING SHIT. REMINDER TO SELF, NEXT THURSDAY I’M GONNA HAVE TO GO ON A SELF-IMPOSED INTERNET HIATUS FOR TWENTY-FOUR HOURS BECAUSE FANDOM’S GOING TO LOSE THEIR FUCKING SHIT WITH THE SPOILERS NEXT WEEK AND I’M NOT EVEN MAD

sdfhk. oh my god. and so it was a photograph! but one which appears to be a segue into a flashback! and the law of escalating tragic flashbacks states that Touya’s is somehow going to be even more horrific than our last flashback, in which, let me just think back for a sec, oh yes, an entire family was massacred and torn into bloody chunks including a six-year-old girl and a dog, and the surviving child was then adopted by a psychopath who adorned him with severed hands and was all “NEVER FORGET HOW FUCKED UP YOU FEEL ABOUT ALL THIS” and then the child murdered some people to feel better about himself. so this is somehow going to be worse than that. well that’s just. ...I don’t even know. I literally can’t think of a lighthearted way to end that train of thought lmao. WE ARE FUCKING SCREWED. get ready to burn, baby

but meanwhile, parting thoughts

so they really do believe he’s dead. that’s confirmed. and he died (or, well, “died”) young, too, based on this picture and on the toys on that shelf. fffff

Endeavor kneeling at a family shrine to pay respects to his dead son and miserably wishing he was still alive is just. repeated stabbings of my already mutilated heart. thanks. thanks for that

he heard EVERYTHING and he’s saying nothing, because what can he say?? I meanwhile have already said “oh my god” about 1600 times in this recap, but I’ll go ahead and say it again anyway one last time because oh my god, the fucking Todofam AND THEIR FUCKING DRAMA!!!

what can I do for my family at this stage? the last plea of a desperate man struggling to make amends and piece together something he’s already shattered into a million pieces. he keeps dreaming of them being happy together, even if he’s not in the dream. he wants to do right by them, finally. but he doesn’t know how. anyways so people have been saying and saying that this arc so far has been death flag after death flag for this old coot, and you know what, they’re fucking right. this does not have a happy ending. this is going to be fucking devastating. and here I am, fully obsessed with it. fuck me

anyways I guess that’s finally everything I can think of to say. this recap is already a million fucking words so that’s fine lol. why though

#bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha 249 #todoroki shouto #bakugou katsuki #midoriya izuku #todoroki fuyumi #todoroki touya #dabi #endeavor #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #makeste reads bnha #so guys #when I'm writing up the initial recap and making notes of what screencaps to use #I use the first few words of dialogue from each panel I want to crop #for example: [why though]#anyway so long story short that led to me having one set of brackets which contained the words #[you cooked/endeavor]#and yeah. and then I was looking at natsu's face #and like #I don't know why I can't stop laughing?#'sis. you cooked endeavor??'#he's not sure how he feels about this. but he's probably going to allow it #anyway so when I'm busy sobbing next week I need to try and remember this to cheer myself up #'you cooked endeavor.' classic natsu #what a knave

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sweetlysilent · 6 years

Text

Drunk!Peter.. (Headcanon)

Was Requested by @thebrilliantbean

OHMIGOSH Sweetly hun, you gotta do a Drunk!Peter story (doesn’t matter if it’s a one-shot or not) with possibly the other avengers!!! (I know you’re not taking requests, but I just thought that this would be fun to write after you finished Undercover Pt. 2.)

Side Note: ohmygosh I am sososo sorry that this has taken me so long to write, I really hope that this does justice to how long this has taken me to upload. Also, Thor is currently blasting up the sky atm and I can’t sleep bc my room is lighting up like crazy and the thunder is hella loud lol. we love thor.:)))))

P.S. I apologize in advance, this might suck bc I haven’t written a headcanon in so long, but hopefully you’ll enjoy it!!

- oKAY lets be real when peter got invited to one of Mr. Starks parties he was shook

- “Mr. Stark are you serious??? I can come???” Peter would question once more, unsure if he heard Tony correctly.

- “Yeah, of course kid!” Tony would grin, patting Peter’s shoulder before heading off with Happy to do who knows what.

- but we all know he really went off to go plan the party that was happening in less than 24 hours lmao

- peter would stand there with the dumbest smile on his face as if he had just won the lottery

- to him this basically was the lottery tho??

- he’d instantly rush home, texting you about how he got invited to the biggest party of the year, and that he wanted you to tag along with him

- i mean you weren’t going to say no lmao lets be real

- the biggest party of the year

- AND to be going with PETER

- we love young love, yes we do

- peter would be getting ready, dancing away in excitement in front of his mirror

- what a NERD

- eventually May had to come in and help him find an outfit bc lets be real, she slays with fashion amirite???

- also how does this boy not know how to put on cologne properly??

- vv concerned about that ngl, poor child literally sprayed it in his face

- once he was finally ready, Aunt May drove him to your apartment, picking you up also before heading off to Tony’s house

- you and peter were both excited, mainly bc yall had never really been to a real party before besides Liz’s

- “Alright guys, we’re here! Have fun you two! But not too much fun!” May shouted out the car window as you both laughed, waving goodbye as she drove off.

- you both excitedly walked into the house, people everywhere, laughing, having a good time, music blaring throughout the whole house

- peter hesitantly grabbed your hand, causing both his and yours faces to turn a shade of pink

- CUTIES

- you’d both walk over to the snacks/drinks area, getting a plate and a few different foods to eat

- peter on the other hand is searching around the house for Tony, before he finally sees him talking with Steve

- he tells you that he’ll be right back, before rushing over to Tony, who lights up a bit when he sees Peter

- “Kid! You made it! Wasn’t sure Aunt May was going to let you out past your bed time.” Tony teased, causing Peter to roll his eyes in response, letting out a sarcastic laugh as Steve chuckled

- “Nice to see you again Parker.” Steve grinned, placing his hand out for Peter to shake, which he did without hesitation, a smile on his face

- the last time Peter saw Steve they weren’t on the best terms, basically all the avengers were fighting each other

- but everything is better now bc the squad can’t be broken up forever

- AVENGERS FOREVER

- peter would then go back over to you, where you were currently stuffing your face with food bc it was aMAZING

- “You look like a chipmunk Y/N.” Peter would tease you, causing you to cover your face, a laugh escaping your lips, making Peter smile

- he loved making you laugh

- it was one of his favorite things

- but he was too shy to admit that to you tho smh

- as Peter glanced around at the people in the room, he spotted Thor and a few other avengers

- deciding he should mingle a bit, and with you giving him the nod to do so, he went off

- note to self, he should of stayed with you

- who knew Thor would challenge him to a drinking contest

- those damn Asgardians

- peter got drunk hella quick

- “I am Thor!!!!” Peter would shout, swinging around a hammer like utensil, making a few people chuckle, and Thor to roll his eyes in amusement.

- the second you saw Peter and how wasted he was you knew you needed to get him

- “Peter, hey bud, how about you sit down for a bit, drinks some water yeah?” You smiled, as Peter stumbled over to an empty couch.

- “Y/N, I have to tell you a secret, nobody but Ned and Y/N know this, but..”

- …

- “What Peter?” You’d laugh, seeing him zone out for a split second, then blinking a few times, coming back into reality.

- “I’m Spider-Man!”

- you’d let out a snort, watching as Peter would place a finger up to his lips making a ‘shhhh’ sound

- peter was one of those kind of drunks

- where they acted super stupid, but also super lovey and affectionate

- you however found it hysterical

- “Y/N did I ever tell you how much I like you?”

- “Peter I think you should stop before you say too much, you’re so drunk right now.”

- “But Y/NNNNNN!!!” Peter would whine, making you smile.

- “Peterrrrrrr.” You’d reply back, watching a smile form on his lips, his eyes lazily gazing up at yours.

- he’d reach for your hand, which you’d let him have, watching as he’d play with your fingers

- “Today I became Thor, but I wasn’t able to make lightning appear, how lame.” Peter complained, making you laugh as he continued to rant.

- “I wonder what it’s like to be Captain America, like you’re a captain… OF ALL OF AMERICA!” Peter would exclaim, his eyes wide as you bit your lip to hold back from laughing.

- being with drunk Peter and the avengers lead to the most amazing conversations

- “If I was Iron Man I’d fly around the whole world, and be like 'sup everyone I’m Iron Man, no sir, I’m not made of Iron, but if I was that’d be AWESOME.” Peter grinned, as he let out a chuckle, as you continued to laugh at his behavior.

- you both spent the next few hours in the same spot, trying to give Peter a chance to sober up before his Aunt came back

- peter spent the entire time talking about the avengers and how cool it’d be to be them and have their powers

- he’d then remember he had powers too

- he’d try to fling a web, but he’d miss and end up face planting on the ground

- needless to say, he was still vv drunk

- again, thank you Thor -.-

- you were only slightly buzzed which you were grateful for bc you had to take care of Peter and he was a handful

- a few more hours would pass and the party would be over, Peter still being hella drunk

- you couldn’t wait to see Aunt Mays reaction

- as you both were leaving the house, saying goodbye to Tony on the way out, who was chuckling at how trashed Peter was

- “Can you keep a secret?”

- “Of course Peter.”

- “I like Y/N.”

- you’d stop walking, your head turning to face him as he’d blink a few times, still believing they were moving when they actually weren’t

- everything was S P I N N I N G for him

- “Well you want to know a secret too?”

- “Y/N likes you too.”

- peter’s eyes would widen, a smile forming on his lips at the new information

- you’d let out a chuckle, seeing May’s headlights approaching, dragging Peter down the driveway

- May would give you a look before taking one glance at Peter, a laugh escaping her mouth as he got into the back seat

- “We’re so having a conversation about this tomorrow morning mister.” May would shake her head, as you sat next to him.

- Aunt May is the best tho amirite??

- she’d drop you back off at your apartment, before heading back to their own

- she’d help Peter into bed, giving him some water and asprin before shutting the light off to his room

- you on the other hand grabbed your phone, sending a quick text to him

- “Pretty sure you won’t remember this, but this text is to remind you that you confessed your feelings to me, and before you panic, I feel the same way about you dork. Hope you sleep well xx”

- you’d bit your lip, a smile on your face as you’d send the message

- needless to say Peter wasn’t expecting that message when he woke up the next morning

- and as much as he wanted to be upset about confessing his feelings towards you, he couldn’t be, because you liked him back, and that’s all that mattered

- who knew it would take him getting drunk enough to pretend to be other avengers and to confess his feelings to you

- “So, Peter, you want to tell me what happened last night?”

- “Where do I begin?” He’d groan, flopping backwards onto his bed, he barely remembered last night.

- curse that Asgardian Thor

Peter + Drunk = Him Confessing His Feelings to You & Pretending to Be Every Avenger lol

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cottagecorefroggyfairy · 7 years

Text

Ssssssso insomnia again (jeez it's 3 am what even is my life) and I've decided to go for more spideychelle headcanons! And since some of you appreciated my trans!Peter x Michelle, I'm going to write pt. 3.

(seriously, I have to say a huge thank you for your support. You are amazing. Also rember you are free to send me request or prompt)

(and this is gonna be a bit out of context if you don't read pt. 1 and pt.2, so maybe check it out on my blog under the tag #trans peter)

Here we go!

Pride was amazing. Really, Peter believes it was one of the best experience of his life.

And not just because he felt like part of a big family

And felt at home

And not even only because /no one/ actually misgendered him

Yes ofc that was a big thing and something that really made him happy but actually he's so excited because

HE HELD MJ'S HAND FOR ALL THE DAMN DAY

Well most of it

And he touched her smooth, warm skin even if he hadn't enough courage to gently rub his thumb on the back of her hand

Even if he really wanted to

And she was just... stunning

He decides that he wants to print the selfie they took all together (Ned included ofc) and put it in a frame, so looking at it he would remember that special day

Also in the pic he and Michelle are holding hands so...

He can't stop thinking about her hands

He almost text Ned, but at the end he just goes on patrol. But nothing can take away the big smile on his face.

And he still secretly has his cheeks painted

He had to remove the polish immediately (he can't risk to wake up may at 3 am just because he needs to sneak in the bathroom just for his nails damn)

But the paint can be washed away easily so nevermind

And also MJ did that so he wants to keep it on as much as possible

Anyway he sends a message to /her/, something like "thanks for today. :)"

:). Ugh, laaaaaame. What was he thinking about.

But she actually answers with a "no problems, Parker", so it's fine???? Maybe???

And after that, it's /crazy/ how much time they spend HOLDING HANDS

Like ok not in front of everyone but maybe while they are eating, under the table

Or under the table during decathlon meetings

And her hands are usually kinda cold

But it's nice because his are warm

And this is perfect for the "my hands are cold hold them for me please you person with warm hands I know enough for ask this" excuse

With she uses a lot

Unless she reaches for his hands when's anxious or panicking, even if she doesn't know why

In that case is just her way to say that it's fine everyone is ok everything is ok and she is here for him

And Ned notices OFC I MEAN

And one day he and Peter has a really long talk about his really embarrassing huge crush for MJ

Like, Ned wants to talk about it because he's so tired to hear him talk about Michelle the 95% of the time

"and stop with the I'm going to click the like button for all your Facebook/Instagram/tumbrl posts stuff, dude, it's creepy. You are embarrassing yourself"

"am I?" "A bit?" "Ned" ....a lot" *Suffering dinosaur noises*

Whatever. He's screwed anyway.

Because he doesn't even think she can consider to date him

But she really wants because despite what she's telling to herself, she likes Peter Parker.

A lot.

And she doesn't have anyone to talk about it, but she knows

She tried to push it back, but it's impossible

So she starts to doodle him

A lot

Kind of a way to demonstrate affection because what the fuck Peter is an amazing boy, why should he even consider to date /her/

Basically: they are two dorks

But it doesn't matter, because they both believe that the other company is better than not talking

And they just...get along so well

And they start to get out all together, Peter Ned an MJ

She joins them in their movies marathons and to do homework and for dinner

But even if they like being just the 3 of them, Peter always finds some time just for Ned.

And some time just for MJ too

Like, he'd never thought she would fit so well in his life

They do a lot of things together

Nothing extraordinary, just watching movies... playing videogame...go to the park

And talk.

Actually, they have days when they stay in silence, enjoying the presence of the other

Which are also used from Peter to look at her when she's not looking

Michelle does the same

But she doesn't get caught lmao

However they also have days when it's impossible to shut them up

Like. Totally impossible.

But it's fine. It really is.

But they can't bring themselves on the next level

Like the we are dating level

Peter thinks about it a lot but he doesn't want to loose her or to ruin their friendship

MJ doesn't want to daydream too much and hope to hear him ask her out

So they just stay in this weird middle levels between friendship and lovers relationships

Jeez they actually even sleep together once

Ok they fell asleep on the couch

And waking up to find her snuggled up against him almost killed him on the spot

Like she's just...so adorable

But not only she's beautiful

She's so clever, so brilliant

And sarcastic, he loves her sense of humour

And actually she seems already so strong and firm in her ideas

And she admires her so much for how much efforts she puts in actually /doing something/.

He even consider to tell her about all the Spider-Man thing

Another motive keeping him from asking her out

Like, he doesn't want to put a big target on her head

So at the end he doesn't

Even if something tells him he can trust her

He has no idea she already knows, lol

Untile one day they are looking a video on YouTube and she's like "good job Parker" and he's like "thanks" and then just WHAT THE HELL?!

he's totally paralyzed, horrified, incredulous and so on

But she's like "oh relax Spider-friend. I didn't tell anyone. And I don't mean to"

Ok and that's a big thing but HOW?!?!?!?!?

She just sighs and explain that after the decathlon she was already suspicious, but after a while became quite obvious (at least to her)

And he just... laugh. A bit hysterically but however bc he's kinda feeling relief knowing he doesn't have to tell her

And he just let out "damn you are amazing MJ" and then he shuts up

WILL HE EVER LEARN GOD WHY W H Y ABORT MISSION I REPEAT ABORT MISSION

She's looking at him in such an inscrutable way like is he joking? Is he serious? Can it be /he/ just told her she is /amazing/???

After a minute that felt like an hour she smiles she actually smiles in a new sweet and cute way

"I know" and he kisses his cheek.

Softly. Gently. Briefly. But it was a kiss.

Peter thinks he could even die there, in that precise moment, but the smile on his face is as wide and bright as the entire solar system.

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legalist217 · 7 years

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Do Voldemort/Snape/Umbridge lmao

I think you’re overestimating my ability to not be creative about the situation, as well as my self-preservation and my interest in women because that’s what makes Umbridge rank worst from an SO perspective. (she’s not even a pretty woman, she’s a super gross woman inside and out, so it does nothing for me on any level, meh, bleh, weh)

This got lengthy so it’s under a cut, you’re welcome, enjoy. And I bothered to put these into exactly no logical canon timeframe.

Well get this out of the way, fake date umbridge. because I will find ways to mortify her. I will drag her to youmacon. I will point out a photograph taken of Nancy Pelosi in a pink suit with all the Senate pages and then assure her that, no, of course you’re just as pretty in your headmistress photo as that Muggle politician is. Why would there even be a comparison. dear. [this is a real photo that we saw being taken at the Capitol when we toured circa HBP’s film coming out; we had to stifle giggles]

And then arrange a scenario where she’s jailed for tax evasion. I’m not marrying the toad; no fifth amendment protections for non-spouse SOs as I recall. I assume MACUSA can ensure she’s put somewhere good and tedious.

(note: this is the only scenario where I envisioned it happening in america)

now, hm. I guess I would slow burn Voldemort because I reckon if you’re his stated enemy, that’s probably not a changeable status. He’s all emotionally stunted in that way. So enemies to lovers doesn’t seem plausible. So, then, I guess I’m some Bellatrix-esque tart, except, well, myself. So rather than wetting myself over THE DAHHK LAWD, I’m just mildly amused at his fascist goals. “That’s a way to do it, I suppose, but hate’s a pretty tedious method to carry on with the world, and let’s remember that you never actually held power long term *ducks AK* so maybe something less... Hitlery? Oh don’t look at me like that, you grew up in muggle-trash London, you know who Hitler is.”

And it goes on and on and on and on and on and it is a slow burn because he’s incapable of love and I think the best we manage for much of the run before the author begins developing carpal tunnel is “I barely tolerate her because she has 0.01% of a point; I tell the others she is too amusing to kill.” At least now I have slytherin creds to brandish to get a foot in the door.

And being endlessly at such a tenuous “I guess that was almost funny, so I won’t murder you?” stage, I don’t have to figure out how to kiss a noseless man or how to deal with a jealous pet snek.

you’re going to regret this

Enemies to lovers is a very tolerable way to deal with Snape, given the options on this playing field. Professors who tell you that your answer is wrong only for the right answer to be “the same thing but because I said it, it’s right” are my least fuckin faves. Snape treads close to that territory.

But again, I have slytherin creds now. I’m also quite impulsive, so I can see myself writing him an annoyed owl after a class detailing specific moments where his behavior decreased the educational advantage to Housemates and how this is him not being a benefit to team and should I go to Dumbledore about this; like give that one gryffindor kid double shit, dude might deserve it for all I know [I am bad at popular gossip when it comes to school IRL], but stop fuckin it up for us and maybe for other students who are genuinely trying, ya pissant. And while Snape is very much a pissant, I think he also cares a lot about the House. And to a degree, his job; he definitely gave a fuck when he was sixteen about teaching potions because he was rewriting the goddamned book.

So, I dunno, maybe I can get through to him. I still get detention for unmitigated sass, but I knew that’d happen. Too bad he doesn’t realize how much I am wont to chat while working. And I have an IRL habit of roping even introverts into talking with me when I’m inclined to. What’s he gonna do, give me more detention? I don’t give a shit. I’ll clean this office and every office. Why the hell not. Castle’s an interesting place. How often do I get an elf’s eye view of the place? And anyway are there any good articles out on lacewing colony collapse disorder, because I hear that might screw over the polyjuice industry? Any good places to write? Lacewings are aptly named, you gotta admit. They need more words devoted to them. And then I force him to read my poetry because who the fuck else here knows about lacewings aside from maybe Hagrid who has automatic distrust of green robes? He tells me it sucks. I grin. (I cry later, but that’s not because he said it, just because no one wants to hear that their poem sucks in such flat words.)

In real life, I’m still in touch with some of my professors after graduation and some of them have outright said they think of me as a friend. I wouldn’t date them, because they are married and I am sensible and they are twice my age and the list goes on. But this is a forced narrative scenario, and given my dating history and its repeated Bad Calls, I can see me writing longer and more detailed letters than just “hey got a new job at Witch Weekly doing book reviews, it’s basically whatever’s on the Prophet’s best-seller list minus anything too difficult for a stay-at-home witch to bother with.” He writes back terse one-liners if I’m lucky. I still write a lot, because it makes me feel better about my sorta boring life.

At some point, I dust off the old lacewing scroll and laugh at how bad it was. But the core idea of hiding oneself in another’s reflection has merit, so I rework it. Dredge up old textbooks to reference other ingredients of common potions, because Moste Potente Potions is still a restricted book so maybe not hinting at the recipe in a poem is a good call. It’s eventually as done as this version’s going to be. I send it to him.

It comes back around Christmas with the word “Better.” swirled in the corner. I tack it to the wall and write more. Sometimes they come back with tiny checkmarks by specific lines. I find myself quietly tallying those, like they’re gold stars and I’m back in primary school. And I have to stifle a gasp when one has a note saying he’d copied a version for himself. I can’t help imagining it pinned up on his fridge, him seeing it every day. That image is childish, but it gets me through bleak times.

It’s a year before a poem I didn’t write comes back to me. It is so laughably bad that I’m in tears of laughter for half the night, but then, reading through it, they end up just tears. Who the fuck is this about, because none of the imagery fits me. It’s all flowers of the valley and gentle prey animals. Drawing from my name would be angels or wolves or birds of prey. Who the fuck, then, is this, and why am I sobbing.

Printed at the bottom is a one-word question: Thoughts?

It’s all I can do not to crumple the stupid parchment and chuck it in the flames. Who is she. Who the hell would put up with such an obnoxious, icy, sneering, greasy, loser? I glance in the mirror. Who indeed.

It’s a pathetic weekend spent balled up under a comforter trying to figure out how to rationally handle whatever the hell this is. But like I said, I’m impulsive. I have just enough Floo powder on hand, as well, and my head pokes out into a dingy flat. I think he nearly blacks out, he’s that startled. He does the many-blinking thing.

I arrive swiftly at the point, which is to say that I sob inelegantly and the tears sizzle amid the flames. But I make my demands known through the mouthfuls of ash, both real and simply felt. Who is this other woman you’d write poetry to.

Black eyes should be flat. His have too much depth at moments like these. There’s too much available to read. I don’t want to know that he knows I’m not crying on his behalf. He runs absent fingers through his hair as he looks at me, a gesture I’d forgotten to miss. Then he explains he wasn’t sure how to title it, which is why there wasn’t one. But it would have been an elegy. His way of burying the past.

I point out that repression isn’t healthy. At least, I think I do. Details are so hazy here in the fire.

He kneels before me and says that is correct, if such be the case. But one must part with the past to allow for new beginnings.

Lips brush there in the flames. And then I’m laughing. He pulls back, and I regret it just a little for how hurt those eyes are. Why do I laugh? “That poem sucked!” I shriek, before dragging myself back through the fires to my own hearth, where I lie laughing hysterically for quite some time.

Years later, Elegy to the Valley is deemed complete. I walk with him as far as the gate, but let him enter the graveyard alone. It is summer, and I trace patterns in the warm metal, trying not to watch his shoulders shaking as he reads it to her. If he needs me, I can be there in a moment. But I would rather watch and mentally write my own poem of this moment instead. He will probably produce something about today as well. We will trade parchments and leave spare, biting comments. But our fingers will interlace at the end of the day. It suffices.

The sky is tinged ruddy gold when he arrives back at the gate. We walk briskly to the end of the street. It’s not that we stand out; he still knows the Muggle ways. Still, this is a leonine place not meant for us. Time we made our excuses and left.

The corner is deserted. I see his eyes wander back over the church and the graves beside. I remind him he can always return. He shakes his head. “This is a parting of the ways.” He takes my hand, and we go twisting into the dark.

so yeah, that’s what shipping me with snape looks like; any questions?

#tara what did you do to me #I don't even have strong feelings about snape #I just sat down and wrote it and now I'm sort of sad for it???#fanfic #long post #alskaichou

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rocket-sith · 7 years

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Salty asks; 2, 4, 6, 8, 21

Okay you’re getting all these plus #5 because I can’t read for shit and accidentally answered five instead of four when I was looking at which numbers went with which questions.

#2 - Are there any popular fandom OTPs you only BroTP? - Anakin/Padme. I really like both characters, and I adore them as friends, but on the smokin' hot romantic chemistry meter, their level is somewhere between sub-arctic and absolute zero. I think there are tons of fascinating things to explore with their different worldviews, their different upbringings, the way their protective streaks come out around each other, etc., but I just feel absolutely nothing for them in the romantic shipping department.

#4 - Do you have a NoTP in your fandom? Are they a popular OTP? - If NoTP = I get all pissy when other people ship it because I think I’m some sort of divinely appointed fanfic cop, then hell fucking no. If NoTP = a ship that personally annoys me so I avoid it, then...yeah. Guilty. Obi-Wan/Satine just bores the hell out of me. I know it's got basis in canon, and it's fine if it's used as a springboard for Anakin to troll the hell out of Obi-Wan, or it's just mentioned as some shit that happened in the past, or if it shows up in a fic to serve some other narrative purpose, but in and of itself, snoooooore. Satine in general is just boring af, and the only uses I really have for her are as a plot device or a character foil for characters I actually care about.* (Gotta say though, the "collection of half-truths and hyperbole known as Obi-Wan Kenobi" line was pure gold. Gotta give credit where it's due.)

*If anyone is gonna try and send anon wank turning this into a feminist or an “stfu obikin jerkface!” issue, get bent. There are plenty of female SW characters I totally dig - Leia is a goddess, Ahsoka is an unmitigated badass, Padme kicks all sorts of booty in all sorts of ways. My issue with Satine is that she's boring, not that she's female and/or hogging Obi-Wan's coc...*ahem*...lightsaber away from Anakin.

#5 - Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you? - Not the SW fandom, but the Potter fandom really made me start disliking Remus/Sirius. NOT because I didn't love the pairing, and definitely not because a bunch of antis wanted to whine about it (we really didn't have the aggressively virulent brand of tumblr antis back in the LJ days, just the "durrrr, pffffft, ur ship iz teh suxx0r bcuz minez better" tripe), but because I saw it written so so often, so so poorly. Author after author tried to turn them into a couple of gay stereotypes with leather pants and effeminate mannerisms and the whole nine yards as opposed to just staying true to the characters, and alas, they wrecked the Good Ship Dogstar. IDK if that was the case with all slash pairings back in the early/mid 2000s (I kinda got the impression it was since I heard similar complaints from Harry/Draco fans), but it was pretty annoying.

#6 - Has fandom ever made you enjoy a pairing you previously hated? - Not really. I've seen some pairings I'm normally just sorta "meh" about written well enough that I enjoyed it, but even then, I was only into it in the context of that story, done by that author. Good characterization and good storytelling are enjoyable even if it's not my OTP, but I've never had a ship that I flat-out hated turn into something I actively sought out. I will say fandom has definitely piqued my interest in Vader/Aphra, but that was never something I hated - I just wasn't aware of who Aphra even was until fandom informed me.

#8 - Have you received anon hate? What about? - LMAO YES YES YES! It feeds my soul, it brings me glee, and it only makes me stronger! Faster! Better! TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL, AND I SEASON MY FOOD WITH THE MOUNTAIN OF SALT EXTRACTED FROM THE FLOWING RIVER OF ANTIS' BITTER TEARS! *ahem* Anyways! Usuuuually the anon hate has been some sort of shipper wank related to Obikin (omg how dare I enjoy things!) and another time it was in response to me saying I thought AO3 had the right idea by refusing to censor "objectionable" content (omg how dare I think other people should be able to enjoy things too!) - Basically, the common trend is whiny little pissbabies taking a dump in my inbox because they're mad at me for saying people should be allowed to tell fictional stories and stuff. (O THE DEPRAVITY!) There was also this one really weird anon who was trying to goad me into flaming someone after some 15-year-old troll started shipper wank, but TBH I never really did understand what that person's goal was other than possibly stirring drama, so I can't say for certain what it was really about in the first place.

#21 - What are your thoughts on crack ships? - They're good for a few lulz, but that's about it. I mean, if someone REALLY wants to get excited about Threepio doing the horizontal file transfer with Jar-Jar Binks or whatever, more power to 'em, but that shit ain't my scene. Chances are I'll read the summary, laugh hysterically, and move the fuck on. I do have a soft spot for well done satire though, so if somebody drops a clever joke fic with a crack pairing, I'm all over it. (There was one a while back on AO3 where the pairing was Kylo Ren/Darth Vader's Helmet. Yes, really. Some friends and I did rock/paper/scissors to see who had to read it and report back to the others. I lost. The fic turned out to be really hilarious trollfic/spoofitry, but alas, I can't seem to find it to share with the rest of the class. Yes, I did go look.)

[Want to give me more shit to rant and bitch about and possibly get flamed for? CLICK HERE! Salty Ask List ]

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