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captn3 · 2 years

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A discussion on ableism in AI: The Somnium Files

Happy Disability Pride Month! I hope everyone's July is starting out well, despite the loud fireworks of the fourth.

For this month i thought it would be fitting to discuss a major problem in the game AI: The Somnium Files: ableism. There will be major spoilers for the game's plot described, and there will be one singular mention of Nirvana Initiative that isn't really a spoiler but I'm just putting a warning here. The reason there's only one mention of it is because I have not finished that game yet, and don't even know if it has any ableism in it. Working on that while writing this post, actually. Don't get me wrong, I love this game a lot, but obviously everything has its issues, and you've gotta be critical of that. That's the whole reason I'm making this post- so people can learn to be aware of this so they can avoid being ableist themselves, and understand the issues behind it.

I very strongly encourage abled fans to reblog. Even if you know all of this, I want more people to hear.

First of all, the usage of psychopathy(and other similar terms) in a derogatory way. Countless times the game refers to the culprit of the New Cyclops Serial Killings as a psychopath. I do not experience psychosis myself, but I have studied a bit before making this post (reading various articles written by people who have been diagnosed with psychosis) Not only that, but by now it should be wildly known that calling people psychotic when they are acting "crazy" or "insane" is very ableist, even if you don't experience it yourself. Unrelated to anything that happens in AITSF, but this can also be said for bipolar disorder and OCD when it comes to talking about yourself when you do something unrelated to it at all, and more aligned with the stereotypes of said disorder. For example, saying "im so bipolar haha" in response to a "sudden" change in how you're feeling, or "omg it triggers my ocd!!" when you see something terribly unorganized, something Most People Hate To See, OCD diagnosis or not. The rest, and majority of the post is under a read more. This is a final warning for major plot spoilers, as the true culprit of the New Cyclops Serial Killings will be namedropped, and talked about in-depth, as well as other major spoilers, including the biggest plot twist in the game. Key points, parentheses, and the beginnings of paragraphs will be in bold to make it hopefully a bit easier to read.

Back on topic, the treatment of Saito is odd- especially when Date doesn't have any of this happen to him- y'know, being in Saito's body. It is implied in the bad end of annihilation route that Date does reach this "reward system" of killing people for pleasure, but it's still odd. Would Date not have, I don't know, killed a bug or something and then been like Oh shit. Because clearly even though Aiba supplies oxytocin for Date, the implications in that bad ending still happen. It's also odd that within the time he went without Aiba before she was created, that he was fine. Though since most of this relies on a loose implication, I won't stay focused on it for that long. So, I'll move on. Saito being called a psychopath is especially worrying considering the reason he is called this is because of a physical brain disability. This part I can actually speak from my own experience, as I am missing my own pituitary gland. I have a health condition called Panhypopituitarism. It can be shortened to Panhypopit, or PHP. You can study it more if you'd like, if not, here's a short definition from a google search: "A rare condition in which the pituitary gland stops making most or all hormones." It is so rare, when typing the condition's name in it gives it a red squiggly line, implying I either misspelled or typed in a word that doesn't exist! And for the nerds out there, specifically about 4 in 100,000 people are diagnosed with it in a year. For a somewhat silly comparison, the chance of having Panhypopituitarism is lower than the chance of getting a shiny Pokemon. (meaning i can have a pokesona that's shiny for an actual reason other than "shinies are cool, idc if they're rare" /j) People can have this condition at birth, or if the gland is damaged at all throughout their life. I was born with my pituitary gland LITERALLY MISSING. The doctors couldn't find it. And since this condition is rare, it is a very hard condition to deal with. I will not go into too much detail, but I have had a doctor for most of my life who clearly didn't know what he was doing in relation to the condition, and that affected my life in more ways than one. Not only that, but some people suffer from it more than others. It depends on how severe the case is. In Saito's case, his body cannot properly produce oxytocin. I don't know the specifics of everything the pituitary gland is supposed to secrete and produce but I can tell you I have it from somewhere else in my body because I do not take medicine to supply it, and I frequently experience feelings of love and comfort and trust and????? You get it. I do have depression, which might be because of this?? But like, I still fucking feel love and shit. Most importantly though.

I do not have an urge to kill things so I can experience love and joy. I do not have an inability to feel love.

As someone with such a rare condition, I've NEVER found any representation for Panhypopit before. I'm not too surprised or sad about it, but when the only time a character DOES have something similar to it, it's extremely unrealistic, it causes them to only feel love when murdering, and they're called a psychopath for it, I'm obviously gonna be a bit upset. When Pewter deliberately explained Saito's brain dysfunction that I can relate to in such a harrowing way; describing that because of said dysfunction he can only feel pleasure by killing things, I felt very distraught. At the time though, friends around joked about it, saying "haha, just like Memo!" Because I was young and ignorant, and a kid who very much depended on others to seem normal and find interests, I nodded along, and started laughing too, ignoring i was distressed about the scene at all. Later on though, when my group of friends changed drastically because I didn't want to talk to people who are now ex-friends (for reasons you can probably guess, lmao), a different friend happened to start playing AITSF. I was very excited, because like I said, it was one of my favorite games, and one of the only instances of bodyswaps that didn't trigger me (i know this is a silly trigger, and its silly that there are exceptions, but thats just how my brain works, and also its disability pride month so you cant be mean to me /hj) and I love to talk about my interests with others, whether I'm currently hyperfixating on them or not. When said friend, who I'll call S from now on (hi S if you're reading this. leaving you in the anonymity zone out of my own choice actually which is why i didnt ask you if you wanted me to mention you by name or not) finished AITSF, and started thinking about everything, connecting everything, y'know, the usual process after you finish a Uchikoshi game, we ended up talking about Saito's problems. I mentioned my ex-friends said that, and he made me realize, Hey. That Was Fucked Up, Actually. In general, I never really considered it ableist until he mentioned it. Which is kinda why I'm making this post- so people CAN know that these things are ableist. People should be aware that doing things like what my old friends did- no matter the commonness or rarity of the disability in the scenario, is ableist. Specifically the parts where they didn't acknowledge the ableism of giving the disability to the villain, and instead began to compare said villain (who fucking MURDERS PEOPLE) to someone they knew that had the same, or similar disability. Sorry for the long portion about Panhypopit, I meant it. Seriously, I'm betting everyone reading this except for my friends had no idea it existed, so of course I'm gonna explain it in detail so they do know. Anyway, let's move on from Saito.

(ID in alt text)

WHAT IS THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hitomi Sagan, as we all know AS IT IS LITERALLY A HUGE PLOT POINT, is shot in the right shoulder, which paralyzes that arm. Paralyzes. WHY IS IT MOVING. Now, yes, perhaps this was an oversight, but there's also the possibility they didn't want to change the animation just a bit just for one character. I don't know the complications of just.. yknow, making the arm stay still, but either way, it's still fucked up. If it was this hard, though, why not omit her from the scene entirely? Or even just, don't have her dance? Mayumi is seen standing still next to Ota during his segment of the song, why not Hitomi? It's possible I'm just being very nitpicky, but I feel like this could have easily been avoided. You could say perhaps she got surgery the same way Iris did to help her arm, but wouldn't that have been mentioned as well? And if it for some reason wasn't, we visit the Sagan Residence in the epilogue. Her arm is still paralyzed. There's no reason for her to hide she had surgery done. In fact, wouldn't she tell Date as soon as possible? Tell him not to worry he shot her cause it's alright now? But that wouldn't matter anyway- her arm is still paralyzed even in AITSF nirvanA Initiative. Well I don't know. That one I'm not as upset about as... [gesturing] Saito. But, as bad as Saito is, the game does have other disabled characters that aren't treated as badly. Say, Iris's brain condition, or Mayumi's dementia. But that still doesn't make up for how badly Saito was handled. That'll be it, really. Can't think of anything else on this specific topic. If you wanna add on at all please feel free! I could've missed something, or not have explained stuff that well.

Happy Disability Pride Month!

#aitsf #ai the somnium files #aitsf spoilers #memo's ted talk #ai: the somnium files #ai:tsf #long post #sorry if i misworded anything #i feel kinda embarrassed posting this cause its so long but like. sometimes you gotta say fuck it I Guess.#saito sejima #hitomi sagan #man idfk what to put in the tags #posting this and dying

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hawkgirlz · 2 years

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honestly been wanting to rant about this for a while but I truly do think the john stewart/shayera hol ship ended up damaging their characters rather than helping them.

to start, john was originally an architect before the justice league show gave him the military background. since geoff johns worked on one of the episodes in jlu, it was clear he was a jlu fan & basically incorporated that into comic john. by doing so, we ended up with one of the worst written john stewarts in history, a john that was so patriotic and explicitly said that he was willing to kill people for america. while gj does get backlash for how he was written from john fans, I do think jl + jlu should be incorporated in that too as it was what started the military origin in the first place. it's true that the show led to john's popularity but outside of that, it didn't really benefit him in the comics. plus the main reason the origin was given was because they wanted him & shayera to have something to relate to in the show which was very stupid considering john was already apart of the glc. but apparently that wasn't enough? and then there's bruce timm being the weirdo that he is, he apparently didn't like john's origin in the comics cause it addressed racism like one time. as if anyone was even asking him to do that???

despite her rising popularity from the shows, dc instead decided to kill shayera off while jlu was airing during pre-n52. I do think this also links to jl + jlu having shayera go by hawkgirl instead of her comic alias, hawkwoman. i was actually surprised when I first read that comic shayera despised being called hawkgirl & I will never understand why the show proceeded to call her that. all it did was confuse people since kendra had arrived to comics two years before the show aired. it was clear that kendra had taken all the hawkgirl hype as she was the person who actually went by that alias in the comics.

now I'll actually dissect the ship. for the record, I am well aware that this is an alternate universe, but despite this, I still think the ship did more damage than good to the gp's perception of these characters.

like I said, the build up towards john/shayera was genuinely good. it was the classic slowburn between partners, then friends, to lovers. but the problem is, they had to retcon a lot of shayera's background in order to make the relationship actually work. you see, the jl crew was originally planning on making katar hol (hawkman) the villain who initiates the invasion & physically abuses shayera. anyone who has read hawkworld + any comic of katar/shayera altogether would know how insanely out of character this would have been for him, and for the sake of this post, I'll be referring to his hawkworld characterization. the crew ended up pushing the idea back not because of how ooc it was, but because they were scared of the backlash from comic fans. in the comics, shayera was assigned as katar's partner in the thanagarian force, except that the thanagarian government wanted shayera to specifically spy on katar prior to their plans for an invasion. the thanagarian government knew katar would most likely resist their ideas & wanted shayera to tell them everything she finds out about him. when the betrayal was revealed, this obviously hurt katar. shayera ended up disobeying due to her developing feelings for katar & together, they stopped the invasion. the invasion in question was also being initiated by shayera's corrupt father and when you look back at it, the show was kind of bland in comparison. the show CONSTANTLY reduced shayera's character in regards to her being a love interest, not once did we ever get a moment where we actually discovered what her life on thanagar was like. which is what the hawkworld comics did. my point is: if you have to ruin a character to make a relationship work, then maybe the ship just isn't good.

and honestly this is me being nice in my analysis because nothing about john/shayera was even original writing wise. most if not all aspects of their relationship were stolen from katar/shayera relationship in the hawkworld comics and anyone who actually read them would agree with me on this.

one key point that bothered me in regards to jlu was the origin they had given shayera regarding her reincarnations. while dwayne mcduffie revealed that bashari doesn't actually exist & that it was john/shayera's feelings messing with the asbsorbacron, it's obviously not the case for the eyes of the gp. the irony is that jlu stans tend to complain about hawkman/shayera, talking about how boring it is since they're reincarnations when jlu ended up doing the same thing for john/shayera, by having chay-ara cheat on katar with bashari. this + their son, rex stewart, was jlu's way of saying john/shayera were always destined for each other. this isn't any different from the reincarnation cycle regarding the hawks, but for some reason, it is to some. what I find funny is that people genuinely believe that john/shayera pushes shayera in a 'solo spotlight' by keeping her away from the reincarnation process. when all it did was tie her down to it again but with a different man. the inclusion of bashari + rex stewart basically got rid of what could've made john/shayera's relationship interesting for shayera as a character. john's motivations to possibly get back with shayera suddenly weren't his own, which was why he stayed with vixen. it's also ironic that shayera was upset about this because like I said, jlu stans were saying that john/shayera pushed her in a solo spotlight despite the show tying her down to another reincarnation cycle.

i don't know if I can even stomach what they did to katma, that's literally his WIFE in the comics but the gp just considers her a fling now.

what's frustrating to me about john/shayera as a ship is that the ship altogether was done for nothing in the end. people might be wondering why john/shayera are never included for comics in main continuity. the answer is simple. dc editorial doesn't allow comic writers to include them. the irony is john/shayera was the only couple on the show that had the crew arguing with each other because not even they knew what to do with them lol. it was actually confirmed that a lot of the crew turned their back on the ship after the ancient history episode was revealed and that was when they began to despise the couple because they believed the comic reincarnation backstory being massacred was unnecessary (which is completely valid tbh).

comic writers have spoken about their love for the couple but being unable to write stories for them. wonderbat gets some content in main continuity so it's clear that dc editorial specifically has beef with john/shayera, which is why I think the ship was such a waste in the end. the ship is clearly popular with the gp but what was the point of pushing aside their canon love interests to the point where the gp's perception of their love lives is also skewed if the editorial in question doesn't even want to acknowledge them? as a comic fan, I'm simply annoyed that they couldn't have just been with their canon love interests instead of this mess.

*also i was confused in where people had gotten the idea that hawkman himself is egyptian (as aldis hodge was receiving backlash for being casted as carter hall) & it turns out that jlu was also responsible for this lol. I want to add that comic katar hol post-crisis was not egyptian, he had a native american mother & a thanagarian father. he wasn't even egyptian in the show, jlu had given the hawks an extremely racist/orientalist background where they were white passing thanagarians who crashed into earth and had taken over an Egyptian civilization of Black & brown people. and yes i say white passing cause they were still a different skin tone from the actual Egyptians and not even Bruce Timm's art style could hide that. just so many unnecessary changes when the comics were never like that.

this video also perfectly explains why their relationship went downhill: https://youtu.be/LgCjhZfJ704

#katar hol #shayera hol #shayera thal #john stewart #justice league unlimited #dc comics #justice league #hawkgirl #green lantern #hawkman #hawkwoman

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dontbipanicjonsa · 3 years

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Did Kit suddenly lose his ability to heart-eye or is Pol!Jon actually a thing.

I'm late to the fandom but I just finished S7 and I'm having thoughts.

I'm a reader of the books, and I hadn't watched the show till now because... I suck at watching shows with hour long episodes and more than three seasons.

What made me decide to watch it was the Pol!Jon discourse I found on the Internet.

I know enough about the show to understand how unlikely and out of character this theory would seem to show watchers. At the same time, I fully believe that book!Jon would be fully capable of something like this. But also, even though I do ship Jonsa in the books, I can't deny that Jonerys is.....a big deal. Everyone expects it to happen. It's a highly anticipated pairing and....I just couldn't honestly believe Pol!Jon because it is just so against the general expectation.

So I decided to watch the show. And now I've finished season 7 and I am astounded.

Let me preface this by saying that I went into S7 already disliking Jonerys (sue me) but I still fully expected to have some serious doubts about the validity of Jonsa. I fully expected to be at least somewhat convinced of Jonerys. Even hating the idea of Jon and Danaerys together, I still expected more.

There are a number of things I would like to note here.

First, Jonerys is a romance that is told, not shown. Davos talks about Jon watching Dany's "good heart" (hehe) to tell us Jon is attracted to Dany. But then Jon immediately dismisses it- and not in a way that looks like he's deflecting. He's not only dismissing it, he's dismissive of it. His mind is not in the conversation, it is beyond the Wall.

Similarly, Tyrion says (not in those words), "yeah right, and Jon only looks at you longingly coz he wants a military alliance with you". Not sure what I'm supposed to think about that....? First, Jon doesn't look at Dany longingly at all???? Not once. Second, is this line supposed to suggest that Jon is looking at her longingly for a reason that is not desperately wanting a military alliance....? Because we already know that that's exactly what he does want. Wtf do I make of this statement?????

There are other examples, but the point remains. People keep talking about Jon and Dany being into each other, and that is what is supposed to convince us that they are into each other (well yea Dany is) but Jon gives no indication of looking at her longingly, of falling in love with her, of being intrigued by her even. He's a brick wall.

Alright, I'll concede one (1) scene where I saw legitimate attraction on his face for a second- that is the cave scene. Even there tho, it's hard to tell if he's just watching her reaction carefully or if he wants to bang her.

On the other hand, Dany shows that she is into him. Even so, when I say she's into him, I mean she's attracted to him and intrigued by him. I cannot believe she loves him.

Next, I think it's interesting that in the episode before (or was it the same episode?) Jon bends the knee, we have a number of people (Tormund, Beric) talk about stuff like- kings not bending the knee leading to people dying, knowing what's important (the fight against the dead), being the shield that guards the realm of men blah blah I don't remember the exact words. Then he sees the WW and the Army of the Dead (again) and sees a dragon die. And then, the first opportunity he gets, he bends the knee. I want to point out here that the scenes really emphasise on Jon's thinking face after every conversation he has during their little gay party beyond the Wall. They focus on the look on his face again while he's watching the Army. Multiple times. And there's clearly something going on in his head, gears are turning.

One other scene that struck me is the scene where Jon and Dany are saying goodbye to each other (the Eastwatch episode). In the same episode (if I remember correctly) Jon calls them strangers, and then the goodbye scene comes and Dany says to Jon's little morbid joke, "I've grown used to him". Him being Jon. Two things to note here-

One, Jon considers them strangers but Dany has gotten "used to him". Maybe it's nothing, or maybe it's an indication of how the two of them are absolutely not on the same page (about anything).

Second, Jon's face after she says that. It shuts down. Like a door slamming. And then he says that "wish you good fortune in the wars to come" line, which has ZERO romance, or longing, but a whole lot of bad precedent (does that make sense?). Ouch. The thought that occured to me here is that Dany is being somewhat obvious about her feelings, and maybe, just maybe Jon has picked up on it. And that is why he reacts the way he does.

I wasn't sure so I compared the scene with the Jonsa forehead kiss scene in S6, and Jon's expressions after that kiss.

My logic was this- I assume that either Jon has become aware of Dany's feelings in the Eastwatch goodbye scene, or his own feelings for her. One of these assumptions is true. Which one?

If Jon has feelings for Sansa, then his confusion/awareness/discomfort regarding that are seen in that forehead kiss scene. So if Jon has become aware of his feelings for Dany, let's see how these two scenes compare?

My dudes. There is no comparison. Go watch it.

I watched both scenes with sound off, and the difference is insane. Jon looks at Sansa's lips. There's a moment's pause that's full of tension, and then his face shuts in a way, but it's a bit confused, a bit thoughtful.

Jon does not look at Dany's lips. He does not look confused, or thoughtful. This is not a romance.

Side observation- speaking of showing and telling, it's funny how we're shown Jon looking at Sansa's wolf bits, and told that Jon looks at Dany's good heart. Yes I'm talking about boobs but wolf bits and good heart is funnier. We literally see Jon look at the wolf bits twice, talk about it himself, in a completely unnecessary conversation...as opposed to being entirely dismissive of the good heart, even when someone else brings it up.

Back to the main point, one last thing I'd like to talk about is the scene where Jon actually bends the knee (not really). First, there are still no heart-eyes. Definitely not from Jon. Second, it's funny how Jon uses the exact hand-grabbing move that Sansa used on him last season, when she was trying to convince him to do something he didn't particularly wanna do (like he's now trying to do with Dany). This means that

1) he learnt that move from Sansa. He knows how effective it is XD

2) if the Jonerys hand-grab is romance, it stands to reason that the Jonsa hand-grab is romance too. I mean both the grabs are suspiciously similar.

Then, even after Dany "promises" that she'll help the North fight the WW, Jon still bends the knee. I felt both an odd sense of urgency coming from him, and an understandable hesitation. Or maybe that's just me.

Now suddenly, he becomes complimentary of her. But there's something weird about his compliments. They are completely generic. "They'll see you for what you are" and in the later episode, "you're not like the others". Wtf does that MEAN ??

Here's the thing...Jon could have paid Dany a way more specific, genuine sounding compliment after bending the knee (complete with heart eyes). I mean she did just fly over the Wall to rescue him and his men. He could have said more, something meaningful, but he didn't. He bent the knee like a house on fire (that doesn't make sense but you get what I mean I hope) and paid generic compliments. Then he pretended to sleep until she left and then sighed very loudly.

??? Romance??? WHERE????

Then the dragon pit. Heart-eyes still missing.

Then the sex scene. What do I say? Lol.

No really. There are no heart eyes even during the sex scene. Honestly, idk what that face was. Not in love for sure.

Another side note- Arya and Sansa have talks while standing in the same place where the forehead kiss scene happened (wtf do you call that place again, the bridge.??) But no heart eyes. No lingering looks. There is no incestuous gay love between them, I can say for sure. All it does is prop up the odd incestuous vibes of the Jon Sansa scene in that same place.

ANOTHER side note- goddamn but does Sansa talk about Jon a lot.

Edit: I'm sure most of this stuff has already been discussed in other metas. My purpose here is only to put down my first thoughts after watching the season.

#jonsa meta #jonsa #political jon #pol!jon #dark dany

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felikatze · 3 years

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give me the a brainworms i am deeply invested in this man

(0) (2) (3) (4)

okay first of all you asked for this. second of all if i am a little off track from the game that is explained by me just building thoughts like building blocks without looking back. third i was supposed to be studying for an exam but this counts as practice right? it's character analysis anyway lmao.

buckle the fuck up, my dearest anon, because I have sub headings.

1. A as the Player Character

Let me begin with why I am obsessed with this horrid little guy in the first place: he's a silent protagonist. I am always obsessed with protagonists. It's a law of nature. I love taking hollow characters and dissecting them for scraps. It's a long standing practice of mine.

Being a silent protagonist, A, as X, does not have a set personality. However, there are patterns. Firstly, as any semi-silent protagonist, A is a reactive character. He does not start incidents, he only responds to situations, presented by the Sephirah, as they arise. He does not actively seek out new information, merely going about the routine of expanding departments, but expresses curiosity when information is presented to him.

I'm aware fandom likes to characterize X and A differently, likely because they are initially presented as different characters. I, on the other hand, would like to pose the theory that they are more similar than expected.

I believe that A is also a reactive character, rather than active. Despite the fandom wiki describing him as stubborn, the goal A pursues with such fervor, the completion of the Seed of Light, is not actually a goal he set for himself. Carmen is the one who set this goal for him by leaving him her legacy.

Throughout the backstory we get relating to the Cogito Project, A is Carmen's assistant, whereas Carmen is the driving researcher. This is how many of the City's inhabitants seem to be; going with the flow of goals set for them by superiors. Yes I will get into his attachment to Carmen later.

The above is not to say A isn't stubborn. Once he has accepted a goal as his own, he will pursue it at all costs, as is obvious from any and all flashbacks leading to horrible deaths. But the point isn't his pursuit of the goal, but where that goal comes from. Even Lobcorp itself supports this, despite what Hokma may say; A as X follows the "simple" task of managing the Corp's day to day activities, and executes any mission given to him by the Sephirah. He outranks them, and doesn't actually need to do their missions, but does so anyway. Players are driven by the reward offered by those missions, of course, and A might be the same in that regard. Nonetheless, at no point in gameplay do you do anything somebody else hasn't told you to.

The overarching narrative of the Script would be the most obvious example. Every single person in the game follows the script, whether they know it or not.

Lastly on this note, a phrase we hear attributed to A, "Machines must behave as machines." Now, Angela may be attached to this phrase because it bears significance to herself as a machine, and informs most of A's unjust treatmeant of her. However, what if it doesn't just apply to machines? The phrase reads as such, "Everyone must act according to their own role."

2. A, Carmen, and the disease of the mind

So, A will at any cost pursue goals Carmen set for him. Question is, why? The obvious answer would be saying he's in love with her, which like, true. But also, how did Carmen come to be so precious to him?

Let us return to the comparison, "This is how many of the City's inhabitants seem to be." We don't really know why exactly most characters joined Carmen, excluding mainly Daniel and Benjamin. But this does not mean we can't have theories.

Carmen's ideal was curing the "disease of the mind." What is the disease? Complete hopelessness. The inability to form aspirations and dreams, to think of a better future. A is a very reactive character who does not set goals for himself. Therefore, I personally conclude, that initially, Carmen's ideology resonated with him because he could identify with the disease.

This is the point where I start rewatching Lobcorp story clips. Dear god.

So, by briefly binging day 27 onward, I've come up with lines that very much support this lil theory of mine:

First, from Carmen, a description of the disease, "People lock away their own potential."

Second, a line from Angela, after the memory synchronization, "You've locked yourself in this prison without bars."

Carmen describes A as humble, and Benjamin thinks he is warm. If I suppose A was one of the diseased initially, Carmen would be the catalyst for this change. Carmen was someone with big aspirations, with plans to heal what is wrong with the City, and it gave him hope. He was one of the diseased, but through time with Carmen, with that relentless optimistic spirit, he may have been cured, for a time. It's not a stretch to say that she was his light.

But lor shows us what happens when the seed of light sprouts wrong, doesn't it? It distorts. A grasped hope for the first time and then it is ruthlessly crushed. Carmen was everything. Yes, A is described as a jack-of-all-trades, as a genius in all pursuits he puts his mind to, but what does that matter in the face of someone who can unite people? Who can give them hope of a better world? Who can inspire them to actually use the talents they have?

And what kind of pressure is it to put the legacy of a messiah in the hands of the diseased?

3. A and the Perception Filter: A is weak to White damage

No, I am serious about that. He's extremely weak mentally. Obviously death of a loved one is a changing experience for absolutely anybody, but Carmen's death destroyed him.

Not only did he refuse to confide this grief to anyone and bottled it up, now everybody looked to him to lead the project, but he just isn't Carmen. He isn't an ambitious person, he doesn't have the same optimism, he can't bring people together, but people expected him to, and he failed. Hard.

While he was without a doubt talented in science, he was also just an average guy.

After her death, A grew to hate humans. He lost trust in them. He refused to confide in anyone, and be confided in by anyone. Thus, the team fell apart.

In both lobcorp and lor, we get interesting tidbits about precations taken to protect the manager.

Firstly, Lobcorp's perception filter. The cartoony art-style of the game is a result of the game being in first person. Through the eyes of the manager, everything is cartoony!

This is a measure undertaken to specifically protect the manager's psyche. Angela tells us that, before it was deployed, the manager would frequently go insane, one notable incident including the manager trying to hang himself. When we first hear this, the previous managers and X are still separate in our minds. However, they're all A! A went insane multiple times without it.

This is understandable, considering that employees also frequently go insane and try to kill both themselves and others. But they're there in action, confronting the Abnormalities directly. Just watching them made the manager go mad. They could not handle the responsibility for the employees' deaths.

In lor, Angela explains why she picked the Rabbit Team from R Corp as their main contractor instead of any other team. One team was simply too big for L Corp's narrow hallways, and the other team... dealt in psychic damage. It was simply too big of a risk for the manager. But the manager is always secure behind the cameras. Would that teams methods just be that brutal visually, or would their attacks have reached the manager?

Combined with his immense grief at all of his friends and coworkers dying in part because of him, A cannot bear to look at death.

4. A's greatest flaw: Avoidance

A common thread during Core Meltdown flashbacks: A refuses to look at suffering. He just can't. Whether it be looking away from Elijah writhing on the floor or hanging up on Daniel's panicked report of death.

This is actually the thing Angela takes the biggest issue with, and what hurt her most. A would never look at her, acknowledge her, and she did not understand why. But I think A did not refuse to look at her out of maliciousness. Rather, it was out of grief over Carmen. He could not look at her without being reminded of what he lost.

Angela's creation came about because A wanted someone to guide him, someone like Carmen. He threw himself into the project to the point it made Benjamin happy that A was passionate about anything again. But as soon as the project he distracted himself with is complete, he is filled with regret. Carmen cannot be replicated, and he breaks again.

Furthermore, tying this back to my first point about A being a reactive person, we see Angela take charge over A. She's the one recruiting employees and leading the business. It was likely a relief for him to be able to step down from the leading position.

But avoiding it made everything worse. He did not act when he saw Elijah's unchecked ambition, he did not act beyond a simple check at Gabriel's decay, he gave Giovanni the same hope he clung to to no avail, et cetera et cetera.

Avoiding his problems is making them worse and sending everything down the drain (including his psyche), so he deals with it the only way he knows how, avoiding them more!

Biggest example of A's big avoidance problem as his psyche crumbles: the memory wipe. A, in perhaps his one singular moment of acknowledging his emotions, recognizes that he is incapable of fulfilling the Script in his current state. His grief is just too much.

By erasing his own memory, he could start fresh without his grief, because he might've really killed himself otherwise. His suffering became bigger and bigger, and he coped by avoiding it.

The memory wipe allowed him to distangle his problems. Through his interactions with the Sephirah (which I will not individually detail for the sake of my sanity and because I dumped all this on a friend on discord already), he can deal with and actually process his issues one at a time.

As the motto describes, only by facing the fear can he build the future. Only by finally facing his grief and acknowleding it, seeing that the past cannot be changed and he has no choice to move forward, can he actually do so.

5. The Sephirah as ghosts

Lobotomy Corporation feels like a ghost story. I've touched upon this in my previous A post.

As you reach the Corp's lower levels, there are less Sephirah. First there are four. They act like normal employees, and do not breach into the story's underbelly until you reach their core supressions and the facade breaks. Second, counting Tiphereth as one, there are three. They still go about their duties, but they know what they are. Third, there are two, and the facade is gone. They know what they are, and they will tell you about the sins of the past.

And finally, you reach Keter, and there is only one.

This gradual decay of the facade is what really gets to me. I said that by interacting with the Sephirah, A deals with his issues one by one, but that's what the Sephirah are, in this case. Representations.

The people the Sephirah used to be are dead, and the Sephirah are their ghosts. The core supression involve putting these ghosts to rest. Doesn't it match the progression of a typical ghost story? Find the ghost, find what they used to be, and help them move on.

So, if everyone is a ghost, then A is alone.

But, behind the scenes, the Sephirah are still there. They are still people, and they have changed for the better, too. As always, A simply does not look.

(Does he even see the good others see in him? Does he look away from praise, too? Did he even realize Benjamin's admiration for him? Will we ever know?)

6. A's end.

A's progression of moving on would be fine and dandy if it did not end as thus: A does kill himself.

A sees himself beyond the point of no return. Everyone is dead. He is alone. Carmen is never coming back. He can't call it quits now, or else everything has been in vain. (Even if the last days show us a part of him wants to just quit, so badly.)

So, there's only one thing left to do: follow the Script to its ending. Fulfill Carmen's legacy at all costs. Death as the ultimate release.

This is the point where I admit I do not like the death as release trope. But the game does a good enough job as presenting it as the only option A had, or the only option he saw himself as having.

However, I've mentioned it before, I'll mention it again: A was not alone. Death was his release, but he left wreckage. In order to end his own suffering, he inflicted the same pain he went through on others.

Throughout the game, he moves on and pushes through. The ending shows that in reality... he didn't.

At least in lor the characters stick together and help each other heal.

This has been most of my thoughts on A, amounting to my longest analysis post ever, having taken me approximately two and a half hours to complete, and clocking in at 2337 words including up to this paragraph.

Thank you anon for giving me the incentive to verbalize all of this, so I can finally be at ease having inflicted my thoughts on everybody else.

#Feli gets asked #lobotomy corporation #ayin #library of ruina #also i saw apparently another fandom besides lc uses the ayin tag which is just fun to watch honestly #many characters could rival this word vomit probably but as i said i already inflicted most of my thoughts abt netz on my good pal borgor #thank you borgor for dragging me back into projmoon stuff. also curse you terribly #long post #Feli speaks

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todomitoukei · 4 years

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Hey wanna ask u something I saw a post in twitter saying that Bakugou is very rude in japanese and they can't really write how rude he is in english cuz english translation isn't rich as the Japanese ANYWAY, since Bakugou is rude is Dabi a rude character too? And who's the most rudest character in BnHA? Man i hope it's Dabi kskdkkkds 😔😂 I just feel it suits him to be rude :')

That’s a great question! Also sort of difficult to explain? There are a lot of nuances to the Japanese languages that don’t exist in English, so be aware: there is some information ahead.

Let me preface this, though, by saying that I normally read My Hero in English. I sometimes read certain parts in Japanese, specifically when I try to figure out what the character said exactly rather than just trusting in the English translation. So I can’t give you a perfect answer as to who the rudest character is since I’m not familiar enough with everyone’s speech patterns. (I think I’ve mostly looked at what Dabi and Shouto have said in Japanese), but I did browse a little more through some Japanese chapters to compare a couple of characters.

For this post, I am going to mainly compare Bakugou and Dabi.

And before we talk about swearing in Japanese, I don’t remember if this is just a one time occasion or if this happens more often throughout the story, but for example, in chapter 292 when Shouto basically asks Dabi whether he has lost his mind, the official English translation made him say: “Are you freakin’ insane?!” - sorry, but if you’re gonna add a swear word, why this watered-down version? This is a story filled with dark topics, brutal fights, and on-screen killing, and yet you won’t let a teenager say fuck? W h y ?

Anyway, the reason people say it doesn’t translate well is that swear words aren’t a big thing in Japanese. There are a couple of swear words, and we’ll look at those, yet overall those words aren’t swear words by definition, but rather become swear words based on context and tone.

Because the Japanese language is all about different levels of politeness, whether certain words are rude or not depends on the context and whom you are speaking to.

That being said, let’s take a look at the different ways characters can sound rude:

Words

This is a really good post that talks about swearing in Japanese and lists some of the words that can be used similar to swear words.

One of the words featured on that list is 「てめェ」 (temee). This word gets used by several characters throughout the story, usually to address an opponent. Here’s an example of Dabi using it in chapter 292 whilst referring to Best Jeanist:

If you look this word up in the dictionary you’ll get the following definitions: you (used by young males; vulgar; derogatory)/ you son of a bitch/ you bastard. Technically, this word means you, but the nuance boils down to the speaker looking down on the person they’re talking to.

There is also the word 「死ね」 (shine). This is the imperative form (command form) of 「死ぬ、しぬ」(shinu) - to die. I don’t think I have to explain why it’s considered rude to tell someone to die. Anyway, this one is commonly used by Bakugou (like when he has to throw the ball during class).

Another big swear word is「くそ」(kuso), meaning damn, shit. In My Hero, this is often said as「クソナード」(kuso naado) - “damn nerd” by Bakugou. Another nickname Bakugou uses is the one he has for Shouto,「半分野郎」(hanbun yarou) - “Half bastard”

Speaking of 「野郎」you know who else uses that word? Dabi.

Dabi says:「なんだ空っぽのコスプレ野郎じゃねえか。」(nanda karappo no kosupure yarou janee ka.)

I think the English translation says something along the lines of “Oh, so you’re not just a hollow cosplayer” But that loses a lot of the nuance.

「なんだ ; nanda 」-> depends on context, but can be translated as “What the hell?”

「空っぽ ; karappo」-> hollow

「の ; no 」-> particle to indicate possession, works like an apostrophe

「スプレ ; kosupure 」-> cosplay

「野郎 ; yarou 」-> bastard

「じゃねえ ; janee 」-> rude form of 「じゃない」 (janai) which is already the casual way to negate the word it proceeds

「か ; ka 」-> question marker

As you can see, this sentence includes several colloquial/rude ways of speaking. The full sentence would be “What the hell? You’re not a hollow bastard cosplayer?” - yarou can also just be translated as “guy” but even then it’s a rougher word, so that’s why bastard emphasizes that better, I think.

So it’s definitely fair to say both Dabi and Bakugou are ruder than other people, mainly shown by the way they address people.

Bakugou even uses 「野郎」on the hero Slidin’ Go:「語彙力この野郎」(goiryoku kono yarou) “Extend your vocabulary, you bastard”

Also, here’s a panel that features Bakugou saying several rude words at once! Sometimes, he uses a lot. Featured here are the aforementioned 「くそ」(kuso) and 「てめー」 (temee), as well as 「ばか」* (baka) - “idiot” - *note that in the manga kuso and baka are written in katakana,「クソ、バカ」 respectively, instead of hiragana to emphasize them similar to the function of italics.

Polite Speech

Again, there are different levels of politeness in the Japanese language, and one of the quickest ways to determine the level is by looking at the verb ending. There is a plain form (also known as dictionary form), as well as a polite form. The latter is also known as “masu”-form since you change the ending of the verb into masu.

There are a few instances where Shouto uses the polite form while talking to someone, like here with Rock Lock:「頼みます」(tanomimasu) “to entrust to”

and here, when he is thanking All Might「ありがとうございました」 (arigatou gozaimashita). This is a common phrase, but it’s usually shortened to just arigatou.

Now take Bakugou again, who doesn’t use the polite form when talking to Pro Heroes he has never talked to before and instead calls them bastard. Definitely ruder!

Another instance of a character using polite speech is Dabi throughout his broadcast, like here where he says「生まれました」 (umaremashita) “have been born”

Pronouns

There are also several personal pronouns in Japanese. The standard being「私」(watashi), which is mainly used by women, but can also be used by men, specifically in formal or public spaces to remain more neutral. This pronoun is for example used by All Might.

The story itself is called 「僕のヒーローアカデミア」(Boku no Hīrō Akademia), boku meaning I and is usually used by boys/young men. Grown men might also use it as a sign of modesty since the word originates from the terms 「下僕」(geboku) meaning manservant, and「公僕」(kouboku) meaning public servant. As the story title hints, this is the pronoun Deku uses to refer to himself.

Another personal pronoun is 「俺」(ore). This one is more commonly used around peers. Because it sounds a little self-asserting, it can be rude when used in formal settings or when speaking to strangers or old people. This is a pronoun used by the majority of the male characters, including Dabi, Shigaraki, Shouto, and Bakugou.

Which language a character uses is part of their characterization, hence a more humble character like Deku uses boku, whereas more dominating/self-confident characters like Dabi, Shouto, or Bakugou use ore.

What’s more, a good way to learn about the different politeness levels is to look at chapter 290, where we switch between Dabi’s broadcast, and Dabi on the battlefield talking to Endeavor and Shouto.

Aside from using the polite form of speaking in his broadcast rather than the casual form, he also uses boku in his broadcast, and ore on the battlefield:

Again, when boku is used by grown men (aka Dabi) it’s a humble way of speaking. Pairing that with him using the polite form of speaking makes him sound especially well-mannered, a huge contrast to his usual rough character.

Sentence Ending Particles

Another way to influence the way what you’re saying sounds is the way you end your sentences. There are several particles you can use (sort of like “right?”, “isn’t it?” etc.). Again, there are certain choices here to make you sound “cooler” or “manlier” - so not explicitly rude, but it just adds to the already existing roughness certain characters use when speaking.

One of these particles is「さ」(sa) which is a casual/rougher form of 「よ」(yo), mainly used by men, and can be added to the end of a sentence for emphasis. Here’s an example of Dabi using sa while speaking to Skeptic in chapter 291.

Also, note that temee gets used again here. As mentioned before, temee can just mean you, but in a derogatory way. The official translation says “Thanks to you and your camera for that prime footage. No reason not to use what we got, right?” - so aside from English not having a derogatory you, the “right?” is at least a good translation for sa.

「ぜ」is another particle like that, but it’s only used in casual conversations or when speaking to someone of lower social status. So when Dabi uses this here -

as he invites Endeavor to dance with him in hell, it’s obviously a rude, mocking way to end the sentence since technically Endeavor is above him in social status (since he is his father and also a Pro Hero).

To sum it up, there are a lot of characters who generally speak rougher and less respectfully than the average character does, but what makes Dabi and Bakugou particularly stand out is the way they address people, often using derogatory words, added with some other ways to sound rougher/ruder no matter whom they are speaking to.

In comparison to Shouto, who has shown to at least sometimes speak in a polite form, Bakugou doesn’t seem to use that form at all. The problem with comparing this to Dabi in order to figure out which of them is the rudest is that we don’t really see Dabi in formal situations. Him being a villain automatically means he doesn’t exactly get into situations, where he would speak to a higher up. Sure, Shigaraki is more-or-less his boss, but they’re more on even grounds than in a formal employee-employer scenario.

The one time he does speak formally is during his broadcast. This shows that he can speak formally when he wants to - but he usually doesn’t. Again, though, as a villain, it’s difficult to compare him to those on the hero side. That is also the reason why some might consider Bakugou to be especially rude since he is on the hero side and with that, expected to speak nicer to people.

While Dabi’s speaking mannerisms match that of a bad guy, Bakugou speaking similar to him despite being a hero-to-be makes him sound more aggressive. Bakugou is basically the expression “don’t judge a book by its cover”.

With that, it would make more sense to compare a character like Dabi to another villain, of course. While characters like Shigaraki overall also speak similar to Dabi, again, it’s more about the words he uses for people, especially when he is close with them.

So I think it’s fair to say that Bakugou and Dabi are, at the very least, some of the rudest-speaking characters in the story. The reason the translations can’t quite capture this is due to certain aspects of Japanese (like the different levels of formality shown through conjugation, certain particles, and certain words) not existing in English. While English also has rougher ways of speaking, there aren’t as many nuances, especially if you want to make characters stand out more in comparison to other characters with similar rough mannerisms.

Anyway, I hope this somewhat answered your question! Like I said, it’s difficult to explain that in one post, especially considering the amount of characters in the story, as well as certain aspects - like Bakugou being on the hero side and Dabi being on the villain side - making it more difficult to sum it up, so hopefully this at least explained a little bit.

#ask #translation #dabi #bakuou #bnha #boku no hero academia #mha #my hero academia #todoroki #Anonymous

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that-shamrock-vibe · 5 years

Text

Movie Review: Sonic the Hedgehog (Spoilers)

Spoiler Warning: I am posting this review the day the movie is first released in the U.K, so if you haven’t yet seen the movie do not read on until you have.

General Reaction:

It's difficult with today's movie going audience to predict how movies like Sonic are going to perform and be received. Especially when the ad campaign did absolutely no favours for this movie other than convince Paramount that Sonic needed a more truthful redesign than what they originally put out.

Here's the thing. Sonic the Hedgehog to me is trying to be 2020's Detective Pikachu capitalising on that nostalgia of a beloved classic franchise.

However, I do feel that the haters and internet trolls out there are not going to be able to get past the comparisons this movie draws to 2011's Hop, which was a live-action/CGI-hybrid movie starring James Marsden who becomes the companion of a somewhat overbearing CG creature.

But, I encourage all movie goers, including the haters, to go into this with an open mind...particularly if you have any history with Sonic because you will get some enjoyment and walk away afterwards feeling happy overall.

My personal history with Sonic is slightly less-so than I would like. I played the original 2 SEGA games countless times and did watch some episodes of the earlier animated shows.

Having said that, my main Sonic fandom actually comes from the mid-noughties series Sonic X, which I feel this movie could have adapted but alas. Also I played the Shadow the Hedgehog spinoff game and more recently Smash Bros where I actually won as Sonic recently.

Now this movie reminds me of those shows and games practically in no way. I mean there is that opening sequence where you see Sonic running around and looping like he does in the SEGA games, I do also feel like James Marsden's character could easily be an older version of Chris, the boy from Sonic X, but aside from that, the gold rings and Robotnik...there's not a lot for the Sonic fans to spot.

I can't say this is a perfect movie, because it really is not. There are a lot of super speed gags and some of them do stick but some just fall flat and at times feel repetitive.

The worst crime this movie commits in my opinion is stealing Quicksilver's gimmick of speed scenes. By which I mean there are not one but two occasions when time is slowed down to almost a halt and we see Sonic running around still. They even have songs specific for these scenes.

Also, because I'm not fully aware of every Sonic incarnation, I did not understand why Sonic is effectively The Flash with being able to generate lightning. I mean I understand the laws of physics of generating enough friction can create static but I have never known Sonic to have any electric attacks.

I did like how the static electricity was preserved in his quills when they fell off though. In animation and the games you don’t think about Sonic’s realistic hedgehog qualities such as having quills so it was a nice touch.

I am also aware that Sonic has turned Super Saigen before with the help of the Chaos Emeralds I believe, so the fact we see a similar transformation here is quite good to see for that reason.

In terms of story I do think this is a simple plot that has been done numerous times, Hop is definitely one example that comes to mind, but I feel it’s also a very accessible story for non-Sonic fans.

I don’t know if Longclaw the Owl is an original character or one from Sonic mythology but I did not really vest much interest in her. Baby Sonic I thought was cute, but I refuse to accept anyone saying he is cuter than Baby Yoda as no one is cuter than Baby Yoda.

On the subject of age, it was good to see them acknowledging Sonic’s age for a change as opposed to just presuming because up until now I did always think he was some sort of teenager but this confirms it. If Baby Sonic is around 5-9 years old then Sonic in present day is late teens which makes sense with his temperament.

The gold rings being used as teleportation devices, I don’t know if they’re meant to be in the games but loved their use here.

I enjoyed the use of technology in this movie and particularly Robotnik’s commentary on how technology is more reliable than people which ties into his ultimate fate of being stranded alone without another soul on the planet he is sent to which forces him further into insanity.

The fact Sonic’s story is about fitting into society while James Marsden’s character is about figuring out what’s right in front of him are great parallels and do balance each other out rather well.

Also where he ends up with effectively being part of a family as well as a town hero was a nice way to wrap things up.

However, that mid-credits scene showing the arrival of Sonic’s faithful protege Tails to the real world looking for his friend screams for a sequel, especially if this means that more of Sonic’s companions could be introduced in the future like Knuckles, Shadow or even Rouge the Bat.

Characters:

Dr. Robotnik:

I don’t want to say he is the best character because I feel all four of the main cast members do a great job, but my favourite definitely is Jim Carrey as Robotnik. This is Carrey back on form and there were so many great shades of back when he was at the top of his game in the 90s with work such as Ace Ventura, The Mask and The Grinch.

From his first scene he stole every scene he was in. You could tell that he was taking the role seriously while also having the time of his life with it and this is why, back in the day, he was on such high form.

He may not have been the overweight bald megalomaniac, at least with the latter two not until the end of the movie, but he was the evil genius and mad scientist and almost every line he delivered he nailed.

I think “rockonnaissance” is going to be the new “joygasm” for him but it worked for The Riddler and it works for Robotnik.

I’m also happy he was nicknamed Eggman in the movie by Sonic because of the shape of his drones, I thought it was fitting. I can’t wait for Sonic to see the new bald version.

Sonic:

Yes Sonic is second but I said it before, there were times when he was overbearing.

Ben Schwartz by the way does a fantastic job voicing the character, I know he voices Dewey in the new Ducktales series and also for some reason voices BB-8 in the Star Wars sequel trilogy, but this is my favourite role of his voice is so realistic for a wide-eyed and somewhat innocent “alien” hedgehog.

I enjoyed how when he first came to Earth he was this urban legend around Green Hills who spent those 10 years people watching and either making up nicknames for the citizens while also longing to fit in with them but knowing not to.

Also the movie’s comedy was never as vulgar as Ryan Reynolds or immature as Russell Brand. I think they had one fart joke in the movie but the rest was generic comedy movie material which was hit and miss in comedy.

It was quite touching also that he was so protective of Green Hills and the status quo so much so that when Tom said he was planning on leaving to move to San Francisco, he was so offended and I thought it was going to be that trope of “Oh now they’re going to separate only to discover they need each other later” but instead it was a few digs and then they got over it.

I am so happy they did redesign the character because the movie’s original look for him was horrendous and did make Cats look reasonable whereas this is more like the Sonic everyone knows and I did not realise he didn’t have his traditional running shoes until Jojo, the niece of Tika Sumpter’s character, replaced them for him.

I will keep saying I want a sequel just because I am interested to see where Sonic’s story takes him next, especially with Tails now on Earth and the potentiality that others could join.

The Wachowskis

Again I thought James Marsden and Tika Sumpter did very pleasant jobs. This is my favourite James Marsden performance to date. Up until now his roles have been either corny or simply bland for me but here, yes there were a couple of dodgy jokes and moments but overall I thought Tom was a very likeable character and at the very least a driven character.

His wife Maddie, first of all props to the movie writers for having a mixed-race couple front and centre in the movie. But also, Maddie, who is also an accomplished career woman alongside her accomplished career husband, did not weigh Tom down or the story down as simply being “just the wife”.

I also enjoyed Maddie’s sister and niece, Jojo is quite cute and for the little screentime that she has does well with it for a child her age. While Natasha Rothwell continues to grow in my estimations after her fabulous turn in Love, Simon as the very sassy teacher.

Others:

As for the rest of the cast, this was a great who’s who for spotting the great jobbing actors as Lee Majdoub, Neal McDonough, Michael Hogan and Adam Pally all have minor supporting roles that do not go unnoticed.

Meanwhile Colleen Villard (née O'Shaughnessey), who voices Tails in the video games as well as voicing Wasp in The Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes series and Sora in the Digimon franchise, reprises her role as the anthropomorphic fox in an uncredited mid-credits scene. I am hoping she returns for the sequel because it is good to hear her acting again.

Recommendation:

I do see a future for this movie in terms of a franchise. I do not quite see it crossing over with Detective Pikachu as I know there were rumblings of some sort of Super Smash Bros. movie cinematic universe.

However, if the movie does warrant a sequel, and with a current Rotten Tomatoes score of 64%, considering this seems to be a deciding factor for some cinema goers, I don’t see why not. I am hoping the future of this franchise does see the introductions of Knuckles, Shadow, Rouge and even Amy.

Potentially also spinning off from this franchise, there could be Donkey Kong, Mega Man and maybe even Mario to create that Super Smash Bros. universe.

Overall I rate the movie 8/10, it’s a great movie and definitely has some rewatchability to it.

Having said that I can see where some cinema snobs or even haters may come from as they inevitably target the movie but I encourage everyone not to be taken in by other people’s opinions, not even mine, make up your own minds and see it for yourself.

So that’s my review of Sonic the Hedgehog, what did you guys think? Post your comments and check out more Movie Reviews as well as other posts.

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let-it-raines · 5 years

Text

Catch Me If You Can (23/?)

298 days. That’s how long Killian Jones was away from a baseball field. It’s less than a year, only part of a season for him, but it might as well have lasted a decade as he alternated between physical therapy and spending an excessive amount of time sitting on his couch.

But then he came back and won the World Series.

It’s something no one saw coming, and it’s certainly not something anyone who knows about his arm would predict. Now it’s a new season with new possibilities, and anything could happen. On-field reporter Emma Swan will be there to cover it all even if she is not his biggest fan right now.

Asking her out live on-air will do that.

Rating: Mature

a/n: I wrote this entire story in some kind of pregnancy-fueled Mexican-food-craving haze, and I didn’t realize just how much time was between some certain big plot points until I was proof-reading this. That said, I’m not changing any of that and am literally impatient to share all of the upcoming chapters with you wonderful people! @resident-of-storybrooke has assured me that they’re actually good. lol. Not entirely sure that I trust her 😉

Found on AO3: Beginning | Current

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-/-

I need your post-series comparison report by nine this morning.

You were late with it last time, and that made me late with my report. This is why you should probably stick to on-air reporting instead of continuing to write articles when we have people for that.

W.O.

“Asshole,” Emma mutters to herself after reading that blatantly condescending email from Walsh.

She’s been in the office for approximately fifteen minutes, most likely a little less than that, and the first thing that Emma saw after logging into her computer was an email from Walsh about her report on the difference between playing at home and away, specifically when it comes to playing the Red Sox. Two weeks ago, the Yankees lost every single game they played in Boston, especially that epic game where they lost 3-17 the night Killian was the starting pitcher, and then over the last four days, they’ve won every game while in New York.

Home team advantage taking on a whole new meaning because it is seriously in play this year.

And Emma doesn’t want to get too excited, doesn’t want to get too ahead of herself because anything can happen for the rest of the season, but only a month and a half of the regular season is left and there’s no way the Yankees aren’t making the playoffs. Once they get there, who knows if they’ll make it to the Series?

There’s a chance, though, and that’s all that matters.

As a fan, she’s excited. As Killian’s girlfriend and a reporter for the team, she’s over the freaking moon. It would be insane for them to back it up, but she’s got to slow her roll.

Slow her roll and send Walsh this report so that she doesn’t have to deal with him anymore today. Working with her ex is fine since it’s not an everyday thing, only an office day thing, but the man has got to get the stick out of his ass. He cheated on her, belittled her out of jealousy for her success in her job, and yet he acts like it’s an inconvenience for them to have to spend a miniscule amount of time together. He’s probably sitting at his desk thinking of ways to torture her while drinking a giant bottle of Mountain Dew. She always hated that he did that. He could have at least had the diet version instead of consuming all of that extra sugar.

But whatever. It doesn’t matter. None of it does.

Ruth: Do you think you’d like to come to Portland in October? Or maybe sometime before Thanksgiving? I was thinking you could bring your boyfriend so that I can meet him.

Emma reads the text, but she doesn’t answer it quite yet. She needs time to look at her calendar and have time to ask Killian if he wants to go. Hell, she needs time to figure out if that’s what she even wants because, wow, bringing a boyfriend home is not something she’s ever done. Neal literally never wanted to come home with her, never wanted to go to David’s, never wanted to do anything that wasn’t in his control, and Walsh was just…

Shit. She needs to email him now and stop letting her mind go down this path.

Today is a good day. Nothing is going to ruin it. If she repeats that enough times it’s sure to come true.

“Oh my God,” Ruby groans as she steps into Emma’s office, barely able to squeeze in past the chair that’s keeping the door open before sitting in it, “I am ready for this season to be over. Why is it always so jam-packed? Do people really need to watch this much baseball? There are so many damn games.”

“Nope. They really don’t.”

“I feel like you should not be able to say that because of your job and the fact that your boyfriend is a freaking baseball player.”

“Rubes,” Emma hisses, twisting in her chair and looking out the small glass window in her office, “shut up.”

Ruby’s eyes widen, her hands immediately going to cover her mouth, and that might be the fastest Ruby has ever stopped talking in the entirety of her life.

“Sorry, sorry,” she apologizes before getting up from the chair and moving it so that she can shut the door behind her. Damn this small office. “I didn’t even think about it.”

“It’s fine. It’s not like you have a giant poster saying that I’m dating him. There are just a lot of people constantly walking by this door, so we can’t really talk about it with the door open.”

“My lips are sealed. Also, are you ever going to get a bigger office?”

“I don’t even know why I have an office. Like, honestly. I keep waiting for them to realize that I don’t need it and to give it away to someone who works here more than once a week. Then I could do all of this stuff from home.”

“That is the life. Though, I think you would probably never put on real pants again.”

“Yoga pants are real pants, and that’s a hill I’m willing to die on.”

“Whatever,” Ruby yawns, covering her mouth with her hands. “I’m ready to go home already. Do you think we have time to go home before the game?”

“Considering we have to get out to the stadium in less than an hour and I still have to finish this report for Walsh, I’m thinking not.”

“Ugh,” Ruby groans, propping her feet up against the walls like she owns the place, “why does he continue to exist? Can’t he go work in another department or something?”

“I imagine,” Emma sighs, twisting back in her chair to actually get work done on the report, “that he stays simply to annoy me, but I tend not to think about him too much.”

“Yeah, well, that’s because you’re getting fucked much better now.”

Emma huffs. “Why are you the way that you are?”

“You know, I think it comes from being raised by my grandmother instead of my mother, and I –”

“Rhetorical question,” Emma hums, pulling up her file with her notes from the last few games up so that she can fill the last bit of information in while they talk. “So, Ruth has asked me if I want to bring Killian to Portland.”

“I thought you just said that we couldn’t say his name.”

“We can’t yell it with the door open. We can say it quietly in here.”

“Gotcha, gotcha,” Ruby sighs as Emma keeps working. “How do you feel about the boyfriend going home to meet Ruth? That’s kind of a big step. I mean, he’s already met David and Mary Margaret, but that’s different. They’re more like friends than anything else.”

“Yeah, I’m aware of that.”

“This is, like, ‘I see a future with you and want everyone I love to love you’ kind of stuff.”

“Are you trying to freak me out?”

“Only a little. I could have brought up marriage and babies, but I figured that would have you jumping through the ceiling to escape the conversation.”

Emma’s heart kind of feels like it’s going to jump through the ceiling of this conversation. Why did she even bring this up? Probably because she does actually want to talk about it, and Ruby will be the most honest with her because she doesn’t seem to have any kind of filter in that wonderful brain of hers.

‘Yeah, let’s avoid the marriage and babies stuff.”

“Okay, so barring those things,” Ruby sighs, getting up from the chair to perch herself on the edge of Emma’s desk so Emma can actually see her while talking, “how do you feel about this? I know you love Killian because you guys are ridiculously adorable together, which makes me happy for you even if I sometimes find it disgusting, but I also know that you like to freak out about relationship stuff.”

“I’m…” Emma rolls back in her chair and tilts her head up to look at Ruby while she tugs her bottom lip with her teeth. “I don’t think it’s that big of a deal, really, because Killian has met everyone else and we do travel pretty often together. But that’s for work, you know? This is…this is moving forward in a way.”

“That’s a good thing, hon. People in good relationships move forward. Graham and I dated for awhile, then moved in together, even if you do live with us because rent is ridiculous, and then one day we’re going to get married. When you love someonesomeone,who is good to you, that’s what you do, even if every relationship roadmap is different with different destinations. It’s scary as hell, but sometimes you’ve got to do scary shit.”

Sometimes you’ve got to do scary shit.

“You sounded really philosophical until you got to the end there.”

“Eh,” she scoffs, flipping her hair over her shoulders, “I think all great philosophers should talk like me. It’s real. Good advice doesn’t have to be poetic. It’s just got to be good.”

Emma hums in response, crossing her legs over each other and readjusting her position while she thinks over everything that Ruby has just said. “So, you think I should talk to Killian about it and then text Ruth back?”

“That’s exactly what you should do. And then you should finish this damn report, send it to your asshole ex with a picture of a middle finger attached, and then we should get something to eat on the way to the stadium.”

-/-

The Yankees win an easy game against the Orioles that afternoon, as they usually do, and it’s a smooth day at the office for all involved. Killian is particularly cheeky in his post-game interview, he and Will bantering off each other, and Emma has to bite her tongue to keep herself from telling Killian that she loves him live on-air.

Talk about a disaster waiting to happen there.

-/-

“Darling, can you get me a napkin?”

“Get it yourself, Jones.”

“Emma is literally standing in the kitchen.”

“You are a big boy. You can get your napkin yourself.”

“You just asked her to bring you a glass of water.”

“That is different.”

Emma rolls her eyes at Ruby and Killian bickering with each other. It’s honestly how they talk. Emma doesn’t think that they’re capable of speaking in normal terms, and as obnoxious as it can be, it’s kind of hilarious. Those two are pretty much a friendship made in heaven because of their wit and ability to make anything a dirty joke, but it results in a hell of a lot of bantering.

Or bickering.

Emma’s not sure which one, but if the look on Graham’s face is any indication, it’s a combination of both.

“We’re going to have to stop allowing them to spend time with each other, aren’t we?” Graham asks as he reaches over her to grab a napkin that the restaurant provided them with when they ordered take-out. “I think they might kill each other.”

“Eh, it might just be the natural progression of things.”

“True. Might as well just let it happen.”

“I can hear the two of you,” Ruby huffs, leaning over from the couch so that she can get a handful of chips out of the bowl before standing and walking to the kitchen, “and it’s totally not cool that you’d just let the two of us die. You are supposed to love us.”

“To be fair, I just met Killian, so I’m not sure that we love each other quite yet,” Graham teases.

Killian winks, the biggest smirk stretching across his lips, and it makes Emma’s stomach flutter. “Give it time. I’m irresistible. Ask Emma.”

“He’s not,” Emma sighs, taking the napkins out of Graham’s hands and walking them the few feet over to Killian before sitting down next to him on the couch, plucking a chip from his plate instead of the bowl. “He pretty much had to beg me to get me to date him.”

“Um, no, you definitely asked me out, Swan.”

“Only because you wouldn’t ask me out.”

“We have talked about this,” Killian breathes, scooping up a forkful of his rice. “And besides, it’s a moot point now.”

“Maybe. Are you going to eat the rest of your queso?”

Killian hands her his bowl in answer. Him watching his eating habits more carefully is quite possibly the best thing that’s ever happened to her even if she has to cut down on the pop-tarts in the morning. That’s probably for the best. She’d rather waste her calories on things like queso and grilled cheese. Killian has learned to make a really good grilled cheese sandwich, and that may be the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for her.

Obviously she has some really high (low) standards, but it’s the little things.

Cheese is the way to a woman’s heart. At least to hers. There are some crazy people out there who don’t like cheese.

Crazy.

“Why didn’t we get margaritas with our food again?” Ruby asks as she and Graham both settle back into the living room. They barely have enough room for the three people who live here, let alone four. “I really want a margarita.”

“We’ve got an eleven o’clock game tomorrow.”

“You two do. I don’t.”

Emma reaches to the side to slap Killian’s shoulder, nearly spilling her queso dip, and what a tragedy that would be. “You have training.”

“Not at eleven in the morning.”

“Poor people having to wake up and be at work before nine in the morning to start work at eleven. However do all of you live?”

Everyone’s eyes move toward Graham, evil stares likely there, and instead of backing away, he shrugs his shoulders and takes a bite of his taco, completely unbothered.

“Shut up and eat your tacos, babe.”

He holds up the taco he just took a bite out of. “Don’t mind if I do.”

Killian chuckles beside her, lifting his arm over Emma’s shoulder so that she can lean into him and into his warmth. “And you say Ruby and I bicker.”

“I’m starting to think maybe it’s Ruby that’s the problem.”

“I,” Ruby scoffs, reaching forward to grab the remote to turn the TV on, “am picking the movie we watch tonight because all of you are assholes, and I deserve this.”

They watch Pride and Prejudice because it’s the first thing Ruby finds on TV, something that Emma definitely isn’t going to complain about. She’s usually not one for period romances, most of them a little too damsel in distress with no backbone for her, but this is one that she can appreciate. Plus, Keira Knightly is pretty much the greatest at being in movies that aren’t modern. The woman wouldn’t know how to act in a movie where cell phones exists.

(Okay, maybe she would, but that’s entirely beside the point.)

Ruby and Graham go to bed before the movie is even over, Ruby falling asleep on the couch with chip crumbs on her shirt, and Graham has to coax her into getting up, telling her that she’s not going to be able to move her neck in the morning if she doesn’t move. Ruby pretty much tells him to fuck off in that charming way that she has, but she does get up, slowly wandering back down the hallway to their bedroom until the door shuts behind her.

She and Killian manage to make it until the end, and even though she’s been up since early this morning and spent so much time outside, Emma’s not tired. She’s not tired as she and Killian move to clean up their food, wrapping up the leftovers and putting them in the fridge, before moving back to her own bedroom so that they can go through their routines to get ready for bed. Emma kind of feels like they’ve been spending most of their nights together even though she knows that it’s not true. It’s been two or three times a week, mostly depending on her schedule or Killian’s game schedule, and it’s not something they ever really plan.

But she likes having him here or likes being over at his place, even though she isn’t the best at sharing the comforter or not sprawling out in the middle of the bed, and it’s a nice thing to get to have someone to spend time with like this.

Today has been a good day.

Killian is in bed before her, the white of her comforter pulled up over his lap to cover his sweatpants, and instead of getting under the covers herself, Emma moves to straddle his lap, placing her knees on either side of his thighs while her hand plays with the chain around his neck, moving the cool metal back and forth in her palm.

Killian arches his right brow at her, that side of his lips tugging up to, and it makes her laugh before she places her hands on his bare shoulders all the while Killian reaches up to tuck her loose strands of hair behind her ear, thumb running across her cheekbone in a gentle motion.

His eyes could not possibly be more blue.

“What is it that you think you’re doing, Swan?”

“What do you mean?”

A low hum comes from Killian as the hand that’s not caressing her cheek moves to her waist, snaking up underneath her t-shirt to rest against the bare skin of her stomach.

“This position isn’t exactly indicative of us going to bed.”

“Is it not?” Emma teases, dipping her head down to press her lips to the tip of his nose. “Because I’m very comfortable right now.”

She does a pointed roll of her hips and revels in the way that Killian’s eyes shut at the movement.

“I think the queso is getting to that head of yours.”

Emma shrugs. “Maybe.”

“Definitely.”

And then Killian is tugging her closer and moving his lips over hers, soft and slow and completely and utterly thorough while his hand tangles into her hair, fingers pulling at the strands, and her hands move from his shoulders to his neck, holding him steady. He tastes like her toothpaste, far too minty, and his skin smells like the soap she keeps next to her sink that definitely should not be used for skincare. It’s weirdly refreshing for him to smell like her things, if not a little overwhelming. Last week she used Killian’s bodywash when she was at his place because she didn’t have any of her own, and while she used to be entirely attracted to the smell, carrying it around on her all day was far too overwhelming.

How do men live smelling that strongly of some kind of Irish spring or mountain brook?

That’s not how either of those things smell either. Or, at least, she thinks.

But that’s entirely beside the point when shivers are spreading across her body at the feeling of Killian’s tongue moving inside her mouth. It’s warm and wet against hers, the feeling that same high that she always seems to be chasing with him, and her fingers inch up his neck to curl into the thick strands of his hair while she groans.

“Bloody hell do I love that sound.”

Heat immediately rises to her cheeks, but it’s also curling between her thighs at the heady sound of Killian’s voice and the demanding pressure of his kiss as his legs shift beneath them to move the two of them until Emma’s back is pressed against the mattress and Killian is hovering over her, his lips trailing across the expanse of skin at her neck that has the simmering heat between them continuing all the while Emma tries to catch her breath.

Every time she thinks she’s got it back, though, Killian nips at her collarbone or nibbles on her ear, and it all evaporates into thin air.

“Oh fuck,” Killian grunts, and Emma takes it as an invitation to trace her nails along his back, pressing her hips up to his to get a little more friction. “No, love, fuck.”

Her eyes snap to him at the more pained exasperation in his voice, and it’s then that Emma realizes that he’s stopped kissing her neck and has his forehead pressed there instead, his body not moving over hers.

“Hey, what’s wrong? Are you okay?”

“My,” he grits, his voice dark but not in the way that she wants it to be, “leg is fucking cramping.”

Emma doesn’t mean to, not really, but the laugh bubbles from deep within her belly until it’s passing through her lips and she can’t contain herself. It’s not really even funny. Cramps and weird noises and all of that jazz are as normal as can be during sex – don’t even get her started on lock jaw – but it’s usually not when they’ve only been making out for five minutes. This is some kind of new record.

“I’m glad you’re so amused by my pain, love.”

“No, no,” she laughs, wishing that she hadn’t but still not able to stop herself, “I promise you I’m not.”

“Then what the bloody hell are you laughing at?”

“Your pain.”

Killian groans before rolling off of her, the loss of his body heat immediate, and she watches as his arm reaches up to pinch the bridge of his nose, his eyes still shut so tightly that those little crinkles have shown up around his skin. It’s adorable even if he’d probably like to chop his leg off right now.

“I hate you.”

“That is entirely untrue,” Emma sighs, leaning down to brush her lips over his cheek before moving across the mattress so that she can grab onto Killian’s leg and rest his calf on her lap, fingers digging into the flesh to start to massage it. “I have it on good authority that you love me in spite of all of the weird things about me like the fact that I laugh at your cramps.”

Killian’s hand moves from his face until his arm is flopping against the mattress in what has to be the most dramatic fashion in the world. “That’s probably the least weird thing about you.”

“Oh yeah? What’s the weirdest?”

Killian props himself up on his elbows, his eyes obviously taking her in as he thinks, and she squeezes his calf a little bit too hard in response. “You put too much creamer in your coffee.”

“That’s a cop out answer.”

“Nope. It’s my honest to God answer, love. That is the weirdest thing about you.”

“The weirdest thing about you is the fact that you organize your t-shirts by year that you got them instead of color or putting your favorites up front.”

“I don’t believe I asked for your opinion on that.”

“No,” Emma shrugs, squeezing his calf where she can see the muscles twitching, “you didn’t, but I thought I’d give you my opinion anyways since you’re not being honest with me about what you find weird about me.”

Killian rolls his eyes before falling back down to the mattress, strands of hair falling over his forehead. “You have too many blankets. It’s not…I mean, you do a million little things that are different or quirky, but I don’t find any of them weird. Not really. But you collect a hell of a lot of blankets. You’ve probably spent thousands of dollars on them. I swear, you’ve brought a different blanket on every road trip we’ve had this year.”

“That is not weird.”

“Neither is my t-shirt thing.”

“Agree to disagree,” she sighs, pulling a pillow behind her back so that she’s not hunching over. “And you have never complained about having use of one of my blankets before.”

“Nor you my t-shirts.”

“This is true.” Emma keeps working at Killian’s calf, feeling the muscled skin under her fingertips, and she figures now might be the time to talk to him about Ruth. It’s not like he can run away. Well, he could, but she could probably run faster than him now. “So, I wanted to talk to you about something.”

Killian’s body stiffens. “And you saved it for when I can’t run away?”

Great minds think alike.

“Yes, because I knew you were going to cramp while we were making out.”

She rolls her eyes but still smiles at the way Killian’s forehead is wrinkled with the raise of his brows. His face can hold so many different expressions – from soft to broody and from sexy to amused – and she likes that he often gives away what’s going on in his mind through them, even if he doesn’t always.

“You are evil like that.”

“I know,” Emma shrugs before putting a little more pressure on Killian’s calf so that he groans. Definitely a different groan than what was happening before. “So, Ruth texting me today and asked if when I wanted to come visit. She’s been on me about it for a few months now even with her coming here, but I probably should go home when the season is over. And I was wondering if you wanted to come with me.”

They’re simple words, but the weight behind them makes Emma feel like she’s just been run over by a truck.

She’s absolutely great at being an adult.

The best.

Her heart is probably going to implode.

“Well,” Killian sighs, propping himself up on his elbows again, “I’d have to check my calendar. You know, I am a very popular man, and many women ask me to go home with them to meet their mothers. I have to make sure that I’m not scheduled to do that with someone else.”

“Asshole,” Emma huffs as she slaps Killian’s leg and pushes it off of her lap so that she can get off the bed. “You’re an asshole.”

“I’m feeling a little bit of de ja vu with you calling me that.”

“You deserve it.”

“Hey,” he sighs, stretching across the bed to grab at the bottom of her t-shirt until he pulls her back down onto the bed with him so that she roughly lands on the mattress and against Killian’s knee. It’s not exactly comfortable, but Killian shifts and caresses her cheeks with his hands, pushing her hair back while he looks at her. “I’m kidding. I would love to get to go to Portland with you to meet Ruth. I really do have to check my schedule, especially with how we do in the post-season, but I’m more than happy to go with you and get to hear all kinds of stories about you as a teenager.”

“Yeah, you’re not allowed to ask for any stories when we go.”

“I’m one hundred percent asking for stories.”

“No. You can’t do that because – ”

Killian doesn’t let her finish her protest, pulling her forward to press his lips into hers, a soft yet insistent thing that has her forgetting her argument. He’s good at that. Probably too good, but that’s definitely something she’ll address at another time.

A time when he’s not doing that thing with his tongue and his teeth that she likes so much.

“Wait, wait, wait,” Emma stops, possibly against her better judgement, and Killian pulls back only to bury his face in her shoulder.

“W-what?”

“My leg is cramping.”

Killian groans into her neck before wrapping his arms around Emma’s waist and pulling her down alongside him so that they’re a tangle of limbs that very well may never be unwrapped. She wouldn’t mind that either, not if she can stay in the dim light of her bedroom with Killian holding onto her and looking at her like she put the stars in the sky and tells them to glow every night.

No one has ever looked at her that way before.

Ever.

She’s really damn happy.

“I love you,” Killian breathes out, and her heart metaphorically skips a beat while she reaches for his chain between them so that she can run the metal between her fingers. “More than anything, I think.”

Well damn. Who knew three little words added to those big three words could completely change the meaning of it all? Or, at least, amplify them.

“I love you too, twenty-nine.”

Killian shifts again, pressing his back into her and pulling her closer, as if that was possible, and she can feel the scruff on the underside of his chin pressing into her temple while he intertwines their fingers and moves their joined hands to rest between her breasts.

“I’m serious, Emma. I know…” Killian takes a deep breath, one that she can feel in her own bones, and she has to swallow down the emotion that she feels at just the gravely sound of his voice. “Thank you for trusting me enough to take this shot with me. I haven’t been this happy in a long time, and I kind of thought that I’d reached the pinnacle of happiness last year when we won.”

“I mean, you did win the World Series,” she says, trying to play off some of the emotions she’s feeling. “What could be better than that?”

“Don’t you know, Emma?” Killian speaks into her hair, pressing a kiss there that has her lashes fluttering closed against her cheeks. “It’s you.”

#catch me if you can #cs fic #cs ff #captain swan fic #captain swan

76 notes · View notes

newtgeiszler · 4 years

Note

You don’t have to believe it but I happen to care about and respect your opinion specifically since I’ve been following you a long time. I’ve seen all of your fandoms. Pacific Rim, It, One Punch Man, My Hero Academia, TFTB. I was honestly asking you to convert ME by helping me understand your experience better and I offered my perspective but I guess that doesn’t appeal to you either which is fair enough since I’m anonymous.

you know what? maybe it's because some time has passed since you first came here but i respect that... a little. i think you definitely could have approached me a lot more respectfully. even if your tone wasn't intentionally rude it ended up being rude anyway. it's very difficult to respond to walls of text through the tumblr inbox, especially on mobile, where i can't look back on your message and reread it so i can more easily respond point by point.

if you're being genuine then i will be a little nicer, but the comparisons i made to being "skeptical" of other marginalized weren't for nothing. every argument a terf makes, no matter how convincing it is from a certain perspective, is just as backwards as any other right wing bigoted hate speech. think of how easily people can be convinced that immigration is bad despite how ridiculous that seems to a seemingly rational person. you know how they spread ideas like that? cherry picking, the favorite strategy of terfs everywhere. if ever seen a 100 link post showing incidences of trans people being evil and think "damn, what a good argument." wrong! and no, not just because it hurts trans people's feelings, it's objectively wrong. collecting a bunch of sources that agree with your opinion is not an intellectually honest way to prove a point. there could very well be just as many sources that prove the opposite point, your sources could have a right wing bias, there could be repeats (this is something i see a lot in those terf megalink posts) and most of the time it doesn't even prove the point on a basic level. like for example, you could give me 300 articles of trans women committing rape and they could all be unique stories and honorable journalism. what would that prove? you can't use that to extrapolate that trans women commit rape more often than cis women because you're not presenting a comparison. this is literally the kind of shit you learn in high school.

now i know what you're gonna say, "but i'm not saying trans women are rapists, i'm asking you why trans people are the genders they say they are" which is fair and i'll get to that but the reason why i even bring this up is because bigotry is always bigotry. i don't think there really is a quintessential difference between saying "trans women aren't women" and saying "trans women are rapists." they are both saying that trans women can't get the resources they need from feminism despite the fact that they provably have a high rate of suffering misogynistic violence.

culture changes. at a certain time, trans women might say "i am a biological male but i'm a woman" and they may tack on "spiritually" if they felt that way about it. or maybe "socially." but now some trans people will say our sex is already our gender. why? because they both exist on spectrums--which is something i hope you're already aware of--and are, as a result, both constructs. this is where a lot of "skeptics" get lost: "sex isn't a construct, it's physical. it's your genitals, your chromosomes, your secondary sex characteristics etc etc." exactly, right? so if your sex is a series of physical characteristics why do people--like you, who just said this--say "sex doesn't change" when all of those but one (chromosomes--and most people aren't that interested in changing that and there isn't much purpose to anyway) can change. how is changing almost every single characteristic of your sex not changing your sex? simply because i can't change the one characteristic that absolutely no one can see--except a geneticist who i may or may not ever consult in my life! really, when your only thread of saying i'm for sure female is getting my chromosomes analysed that's not much of an argument for material reality is it. no i mean think about it like a human being, not a computer or something. i'm "not technically male" because i've got xx chromosomes the same way i'm "not technically human" because when you think about it i'm really just atoms. "but it's not the same" you say "being male and have xx chromosomes are mutually exclusive, being a human and being atoms are not." kay why? everything has meaning because of what people ascribe to it. why is being a human a meaningful distinction from being a clump of atoms? why are my chromosomes meaningful when they will never do anything in my life? why am i not a male when the whole world's perception of me is colored by the gender they see me as and vice versa? but those chromosomes will never be on anyone's mind unless they are a bigot (or i guess a geneticist if i ever need one for some strange reason)

kay, this is a lot, this is so much. this is a huge conversation with a lot, a LOT of ground, especially at 4:30 am and i haven't slept. especially publicly. it's not easy to put me on the spot and be like "defend your right to be seen as how you perceive yourself." i can give you a lot of answers that are backed politically, sociologically, and scientifically--and maybe i will a little later, but that's really hard right now because that's so much to parse--but the shortest and possibly the best answer because it's the nice thing to do is to just take trans people's understanding of ourselves at our word. i know i'm not the nicest person, i often wish i was a lot nicer than i am. it can be very difficult to be kind to people when life is so frustrating and complicated. but being skeptical of trans people because you personally don't understand it is a particular cruelness. why am i a man? because i can look in the mirror and say, and KNOW, "i am happier with the word perceiving me as a man" and no, mysterious stranger, by that i don't mean "i would be happier if i didn't experience sexism or have periods" because unfortunately, i still do experience sexism, and while i don't really have periods, i do get dysphoric. i am happier being CALLED a man, i am happier being given a man's name by my mom, i am happier having changed that name legally, i am happier with a little "m" on my driver's license, i am happier with a family where every single person who i see regularly respects my gender--calls me their brother, their son, their grandson, their nephew. i am not in a relationship but i would be happy to be called a boyfriend or a husband. i am happy considering myself a part of the mlm community. and for every single one of those things i would be miserable to have it any other way. i lived that life. i know which side makes me happier. it's very easy for me to see that i am a trans man, and it's something a cis person would never understand. but i don't understand what it's like to experience a lot of things. doesn't mean i have any right to be skeptical those experiences exist. again, the parallels to other bigotry are inescapable. mras will say misogyny isn't real because they don't know what it's like to experience it. lack if empathy is not a valid argument

i am trying to wrap this up so i'll just end it on one more thing: i hope i've given you something to think about, but if you don't change your mind, that won't mean i'm wrong. i never claimed to be the best debater in the first place, but in any case, i watch a lot of leftubers, a lot of debunking anti-sjw vids, a lot of prageru debunking vids, etc etc. i've seen the insane levels of gish galloping some leftists have tasked themselves with debunking for a fucking job. i know that 99.9% of the time it falls on deaf ears. it sucks. maybe this huge wall of text will be another one to fall on deaf ears. maybe it won't. but for now if i still haven't convinced you i would at least like to ask that you watch some leftubers. pretty much any leftuber. there's loads of great ones. some controversial ones but i like a lot of them too. pretty much all of them, from the feminists to the marxists to the anarchists, are all pro trans. being anti trans is pretty out of fashion for all but two groups of people: right wingers and terfs. like, if i made a comprehensive list of everyone with public opinions on trans people you'd see a lot more dogshit on the transphobe side than the ally side. you ever think it's maybe not a good thing if right wingers are doing it?

i hope this brick shithouse of a post finds you well. try not to be an asshole in the future. peace ✌

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takaraphoenix · 5 years

Text

So, @kimmycup tagged me in this game. Let’s do this. Alternately titled:

Let me rant about the difference in receiving feedback on FFN vs AO3

Because I am really getting lost in the math behind “most popular” fic. And it’s most definitely more than just “reaching a different audience” when the feedback for one and the same fic differs between over 1k comments on one site vs not even reaching 100 comments on another site.

Author Name: Takara_Phoenix

Fandoms You Write For: Okay so let‘s only involve the ones I am still actively involved with, not the ones that are like... eight years old and I haven’t thought of them once, yeah? That’d be: Percy Jackson, Shadowhunters, Marvel, Rise of the Guardians/How to Train Your Dragon, Detective Conan/Magic Kaito, Vampire Academy, Jungle Book, DC Comics/the Arrowverse, Descendants

Where You Post: AO3 and FFN, but occasionally also on tumblr - when it’s prompts or drabbles

Most Popular One-Shot: Depends on where you ask. And what you define as popular. Personally, the only value I see are in comments - kudos are literally just the press of one button, they mean nothing, and hits aren’t an indicator of much either considering it counts as a hit even when you opt out after a paragraph.

I’ve only had my AO3 for five years now, meaning that the fics on FFN still had four more years to simmer on there and gather attention, I suppose. Meaning, a fic posted for the first time obviously gets more attention than a four years later mass repost on another site.

On AO3, the oneshit with most comment threads would be How to Court the Prettiest Omega Ever in Five Years or Less, my first PJO ABOverse fic, featuring Nicercy. Which, you know, is only 37 comments on there. Seriously I genuinely blame the existence of the kudo function for the overall lackluster comment-response on AO3 because “press one button vs actually writing words”... but that’s a different conversation to be had. (I mean, seriously, in comparison, this fic has 51 comments on FFN... and it is by far not the one with most comments I have over there).

The clear winner if you look at FFN is Something Went Wrong, my first Minotaur/Percy smut fest with a whooping 116 comments. And yes. Positive. Genuinely did not expect that when after weeks of debating, I decided to post this story. *chuckles* (Again, for comparison, this fic got a total of 8 comments on AO3... eight... the difference there is staggering... Which, I’d like to tag on that, on top of the kudo-nonsense, the fact that AO3 displays total amount of comments to the readers and not comment threads is also misleading and I don’t think it helps, because I think you’re more inclined if you see it’s only 8 comment-threads in total on a fic you like vs it showing you 16 comments as the total comment-count.)

Most Popular Multi-Chapter Story: THIS IS TOO HARD TO ANSWER. I’d have to consult my chart, but that hasn’t been updated in ages. Because overall amount of comments means little if you don’t also take into account the amount of chapters - 50 comments on a oneshot are a lot, 50 comments on a 5 chapter fic, not so much, and 50 comments on a 50 chapter is frustrating to receive.

Okay, let me go full nerd on this one. Y’all know I love charts. There was a time where I was interested enough in finding this out that I had a chart going of all my multiple chapter fics. With a collumn on how many chapters the story had at that point in time, how many total comments on AO3, how many total comments on FFN and what, by combining those two numbers and dividing them through the chapter-count, was the average amount of comments per chapter.

However, that chart had last been updated on December 31st 2016. There’s been a lot of influx, lot of new stories and other stories gaining/losing popularity, so when I now say Meet the di Angelos with a 2016 average of 57,25 comments/chapter, that is completely exclusing ten fics I wrote since then.

Damn now I really wanna update the charts...

Also if you can’t tell by now how much actual feedback and comments mean to me, I genuinely don’t know how else to convey it... xD”

If you go by total comment-count - which, again, is misleading because you gotta keep the chapter-count in mind - it’d be Chasing Fireflies on FFN with 1749 comments (on 102 chapters. And, again, for comparison, 88 comment-threads on AO3. 88 vs 1749 is insane) and Percy and the Ghost King of Summers High on AO3 with 749 comments (on 50 chapters. On FFN that’s actually on 990 comments. Far smaller difference here compared to other stories).

Though I dunno, if you measure popular by fanart received, Summers High comes in with five, while my Chasingverse is in with 6... and multiple fanfictions written for it.

Favorite Story You Wrote: Favorite to write, or favorite to reread? There’s a difference there. I’m insanely proud of Chasing Fireflies and the plot and world I created there, the character development. I... don’t really reread it it’s over 500k long I don’t have that time.

Currently, I am really loving The Primal Instinct, it is sooo much fun to write, I get to put basically all my favorite headcanons in there, I’ll get to write Aline and Helen more and Jace’s interactions with others, it features both my favorite OT3s at once. (And it is faaar from my most popular one. Just, feel like mentioning this because my numbers-obsession may read as only writing for comments, which I don’t, I mainly write for myself. The comments are just... very, very nice treats to receive. Also, I love numbers and charts and were curious to see if there is a kind of trend there in what does receive most attention sooo...)

Story You Were Nervous to Post: Uuuh every new thing. Every time I step outta my comfort zone. Trying out a new pairing for the first time. Venturing into a new fandom for the first time. Experimenting with a new kink and wondering if this would be too much. Literally every single time, still.

How Do You Choose Your Titles: On a whim. I suck at titles. Mostly I try to force alliterations because I am a sucker for alliterations, but otherwise I do try to go with “as it says on the tin”, or I try a pun/being clever. Aside from my Triton/Percy fics. Every single fic I’ve written for them is named after a song from Disney’s The Little Mermaid franchise and I have yet to run out of songtitles to use for fics and hey, by then they’ll probably have included a new song in the live-action remake so there’s that! :D

Do You Outline: Depends. Oneshots? No. I just write those. Multiple-chapter fics? ...Depends. xD

If I have a clear vision for where it’s going to go, I do tend to divide into chapters and make myself small notes on what goes into said chapters. Mostly, it’s just a rambled “and x happens and then y” at the end though and then I see how I can make it fit into chapters.

Complete: 795 stories on AO3! Damn, I’ve been busy.

In-Progress: As of right now, 4. Because this week features my Ace Awareness 7-parter, though technically we’re right now down to 3 multi-chapter fics because the next one is only due to be released and join the rotation!

Coming Soon/Not Yet Started: Well, that is two entirely different things now.

Coming Soon:

Shadowhunters, Asmodeus/Jace, “The Royal Consort of Edom” oneshot on the 23rd

Shadowhunters, Magnus/Alec/Jace, “Nesting 101″ oneshot on my birthday this Saturday

Percy Jackson, Nico/Percy, “Something Borrowed, Something Green” oneshot on the 30th

Shadowhunters, Magnus/Jace, “Dancing with the Monsters in the Night” an out-side-of-schedule oneshot for Halloween

And I do think that that is what constitutes “soon”.

Not Yet Started:

HTTYD/RotG, Hiccup/Jack, “The Origin of the Blue Hoodie”, planned for November 27th

Shadowhunters, Magnus/Jace, “Set-Up by the Guard-Cats”, planned for December 4th

Descendants/PJO, Nico/Percy, Ben/Carlos, Uma/Audrey, “Demigod Defenders of Auradon”, planned for December 11th

A-and that is as far as I have planned my schedule ahead. Those three are the only fics on my personal schedule that I haven’t started working on yet. I don’t like to plan ahead too much, because then you just completely lose interest in the story by the time you get around to actually writing it.

Do You Accept Prompts: Prompts, not so much. Requests, yeah. For one, prompts always seem so demanding, while requests are more polite - and also more structured. Prompts are always like “here have one quick trope thrown at your head” and like... I do have a well-enough planned-out schedule with more than enough fics of my own set, I don’t need to try and turn one random prompt into an actual story. But if someone has a specific request, a pairing and an actual plot, that they really wanna see, I do always hear them out, I may not always like the pitch and thus not accept them all, but on the overall I do accept requests.

More inclined to accept birthday requests than random requests, because random requests would be put into the rotation of my schedule and, well come on that shouldn’t be a surprise, they tend to be pushed off then in favor of fic ideas I came up with myself because there’s nearly always more enthusiasm about writing an idea that you came up with yourself than the idea of someone else. Whereas birthday requests have a set date that doesn’t disturb my schedule and I am a big softie who has a weakness for getting gifts myself so I do like to do something nice for someone so they get something special for their birthday.

Upcoming Story You Are Most Excited to Write: Most excited to write? Well, that’d be the Descendant/PJO crossover atm, because that is something very new and shiny and I do love shiny, new things to experiment on. But also The Prince of Pluto, my next multiple-chapter fic that I have already started writing.

Tagging: Whoever wants to do it! <3

#Fanfiction #Comments #Tumblr Tag Game #this turned out long #xDDD #About Me

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analyzingdestiel · 6 years

Text

DESTIEL REVIEW OF 7X21: READING IS FUNDAMENTAL

________________________________________________

SCENE 1

________________________________________________

SAM’s phone rings.

SAM It's Meg.

SAM answers the phone. The scene switches between SAM and DEAN in the abandoned building and MEG in the hospital.

SAM What?

MEG What up, Bullwinkle? Just a little FYI call. Your boy's awake.

SAM What? [to DEAN] Cas is awake.

DEAN When? [SAM puts the phone on speaker and holds it out.] When?

MEG Last night about eight.

DEAN And you waited till now to call us?

MEG I've been busy with Cas. He's just a tad different than when he dozed off, 'kay?

DEAN What do you mean, different?

MEG Hey, Seacrest, guess what – not a nurse. Just playing one on TV. Want answers? Start driving.

MEG hangs up. ________________________________________________

So in this scene we see that Castiel has woken up, he'd been in a sort of catatonic state until this moment. Dean shows obvious concern, as does Sam. It shows us that Dean does still care for Castiel despite all that has happened between them. ________________________________________________

SCENE 2

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CASTIEL walks over to DEAN and points a finger at him.

CASTIEL Pull my finger.

DEAN What?

CASTIEL My finger – pull it.

DEAN does so. There is a crash, the lights go out and window and light fixture shatter. CASTIEL laughs. MEG turns on a lamp. ________________________________________________

We come to find out that Castiel is not mentally well after having taken on Sam's traumas and pain from his time spent in Hell. Castiel is behaving very differently than his usual self and is acting somewhat insanely. ________________________________________________

DEAN Okay, just hang on, Cas. Wait. Let us catch up to you for a second.

SAM So, you're saying you remember who you are, what you are.

CASTIEL Yes. Of course. Oh. Outside today, in the garden, I followed a honeybee. I saw the route of flowers. It's all right there, the whole plan. There's nothing to add.

SAM You might want to add a little Thorazine.

MEG Right? He's been like the naked guy at the rave ever since he woke up. Totally useless.

CASTIEL Will you look at her? My caretaker. All of that thorny pain. So beautiful. ________________________________________________

Castiel seems to have developed some feelings for Meg due to the fact that she stayed with him during this time. Though her reasons were not out of love for Castiel, but rather, because she wanted to use him. Castiel is not aware of this and because of her having stayed beside him, he seems to feel that she is someone he can trust.

There are reasons as to why this could be against Destiel and reasons why it wouldn't make much of a difference.

The main reason this is obviously against Destiel is because Castiel is showing these feelings toward Meg rather than Dean.

Though the reasons it doesn't make much of a difference is because, for one, Castiel is not himself and is in fact somewhat mental. The idea at this point is that he's not himself; they are making this very clear.

Though despite not being himself, he does still remember Dean. So I wonder, why does it feel that Dean is no longer #1 for Castiel (despite what could possibly just be having his brains scrambled)? One could say that he may feel that he doesn't deserve Dean because of what he had done (with the Crowley/God issue). Or perhaps he feels that he was indeed abandoned by Dean. ________________________________________________

CASTIEL If someone was going to free the Word from the vault of the earth, it would end up being you two. Oh, I love you guys.

CASTIEL pulls DEAN and SAM into a hug.

DEAN Oh. Uck. Okay. All right. Okay. ________________________________________________

I feel Castiel's "I love you guys" could almost be equivalent to a drunk friend. There is the feeling that Castiel felt similarly for both men and that Dean in particular was not being singled out. Castiel's actions are very unlike Castiel and I do certainly feel a sort of separation between he and Dean. This version of Castiel reminds me somewhat of the "The End" version and obviously won't last because this would be an entirely different character.

Dean's reaction to Castiel's hug is to be expected. Dean is not one who enjoys this sort of "chick flick" sentimentality. He often tries to avoid it in fact. Except when things get "real". Dean always has these walls up; he's acted similarly when Sam was drugged and became sentimental. This isn't proof against him loving Castiel considering he's reacted the same way with Sam who he loves more than anything; this is more related to Dean's personality. ________________________________________________

SCENE 3

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MEG We both call, who do you think Cas will come to? I'm guessing me. You heard him – thorny beauty, blah, blah. I'm the saint who stayed with him. He owes me. His words. ________________________________________________

Here we are given proof that Castiel's feelings for Meg are indeed related to the fact that she stayed by him while Dean and Sam did not. I feel that the writers are trying to tell us that Castiel is currently favoring Meg because she didn't leave him and they did. Although this is a different version of Castiel that we are working with and a part of me feels almost as if this analyzation would belong in a folder of it's own, titled "warped Castiel". He is not currently OUR Castiel. Though there are still points and assumptions we can make despite that fact which is why I feel it's still worth analyzing. ________________________________________________

SCENE 4

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DEAN No, I want you to button up your coat and help us take down Leviathans. Do you remember what you did?

CASTIEL holds up the board game “Sorry!” He shakes it once and the board and pieces appear on the table, set up ready to play. CASTIEL sets the box aside.

CASTIEL Do you want to go first? ________________________________________________

This scene was very interesting. They were putting a lot of emphasis on this game. Castiel holding it up right after Dean asking if he remembered what he did seemed deliberate. If not on Castiel's part, then on the writers' part. I can't tell whether or not we are supposed to feel that Castiel is aware of what he is doing or not.

Though the way I perceived it was that Castiel used the box to say "sorry" and then asked Dean if he "wanted to go first". I felt almost that that was his way of asking if Dean wanted to apologize to him first, considering they are playing the "sorry game". Is this relating to Dean having abandoned him? ________________________________________________

CASTIEL We live in a "sorry" universe. It's engineered to create conflict. I mean, why should I prosper from... your misfortune? [CASTIEL puts down a marker and moves DEAN’s marker back to the start.] But these are the rules. I didn't make them.

DEAN You made some of them. When you tried to become God, when you cut that hole into that wall.

CASTIEL Dean... it's your move.

DEAN pounds a fist on the table and swipes the board to the floor.

DEAN Forget the damn game! Forget the game, Cas.

CASTIEL I'm sorry, Dean.

DEAN No. You're playing "Sorry!" ________________________________________________

Despite Castiel having saved Sam by taking away his traumas, Dean still doesn't forgive him (perhaps because Dean feels it was his fault in the first place). I feel that Dean wants to attack the true Castiel, to vent his frustrations at the usual version of Castiel. I also feel that a part of Dean wants to hurt Castiel because Castiel hurt him. Dean is still very angry and we can see that he still feels betrayed. Dean is not letting this go easily at all; as he said in a previous episode, that he usually is able to let things go, but that he's unable to shake this off. It seems to be very true and I feel it's related to the fact that he had put his trust in Castiel. Perhaps Castiel for Dean was a symbol of faith, considering he was the angel that rescued him from Hell, and now that Castiel has betrayed him, he wonders "if I can't trust Castiel, who can I trust?" and feels the answer is "nobody". He may feel that Castiel destroyed all hope and faith he's ever had. Which is somewhat true, if you take what he said in some episode previous to this. "Ever since Cas, I'm having a hard time trusting anybody these days".

I sense that Dean is not only irritated because of his pent up anger and hurt over the situation. But I feel that he may also be somewhat scared over Castiel's current state and is reacting aggressively instead of fearfully. Dean has a way of taking his emotions and expressing them in more aggressive ways because it's easier to be angry than to be sad, or easier to be angry than to be afraid.

So generally I feel that Dean is unhappy with Castiel. Though the fact that he feels as much as he is feeling shows us that he does care. ________________________________________________

SCENE 5

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CASTIEL Meg, are you hurt?

MEG Shut up. ________________________________________________

Castiel is certainly showing that he cares for Meg's safety. I feel I should analyze particular scenes of Castiel with Meg, just as I analyzed some of Dean's scenes with Lisa. Considering I am determining whether or not Destiel is a believable pairing, I do feel it's important that I analyze the scenes between THEM but also the scenes where they interact with specific others so that it can be used in comparison. Although the issue in this case is that Castiel isn't himself and so I do question whether or not it should be used in comparison. I suppose later on we'll find out if it will be of use.

And as I've said before, polygamy is a thing and even if both Dean and Castiel show an interest in someone outside of each other, that doesn't make Destiel any less believable. Especially if you take "The End's" version of Castiel into consideration; partaking in orgies. Just as that version of Castiel was warped, so is this one, and perhaps a warped Castiel does not look down upon polygamy. In fact, our usual Castiel may not look down on it either, although it seems for the most part that our usual Castiel doesn't feel the need to become involved with anyone outside of Dean (and Sam).

(I put "and Sam" in paranthesis only because he is secondary for Castiel. Dean is the one who drives Castiel.)

Honestly, even when their relationship is in the state it's currently in, Destiel is still not entirely unbelievable because it is only damaged at the moment due to hurt feelings. "Feelings" being the key word, here. Both Dean and Castiel feel a great deal for one another, there is no doubting that. Their relationship at this point is playing out like two lovers who feel they've been betrayed; the usual "I trusted you" issue. If anything this sort of issue might be proof towards Destiel; I am not looking to determine whether their relationship is perfectly happy or not, but whether or not they are in love with one another.

With great love comes great pain.

Although, yes, at this point, we see that Castiel is particularly focused on Meg, like a patient who's become obsessed over his caretaker. Castiel knows Dean is upset with him and I think that he felt the separation between them just as I have, especially after Dean abandoned him. I almost feel that he has, at this point, taken what he feels for Dean and instead directed it at Meg, because she was not only there for him but also because she doesn't hate him and perhaps he feels that Dean does. It's hard to say what Castiel is capable of understanding at this point but either way he does seem to be particularly focused on Meg, where as usually his primary focus is Dean. ________________________________________________

CASTIEL They're from the Garrison – my old Garrison. Looks like Hester's taken over. We were assigned to watch the earth. Often, it was boring. The wars were very boring and the sex – you know, the repetition. Anyway, I was, uh... I was their captain. Isn't that strange? ________________________________________________

I find it interesting that Castiel has in fact witnessed sex between humans before yet he seems to be so naive about it. Perhaps he's not naive so much toward the act but just the phrases used. Or perhaps he's not used to witnessing the "kinky" sex he'd seen on that one p0rno with the pizza man considering he'd not been on Earth in 2000 years (he mentions this in 4x2). I am honestly confused myself as I've been under the impression this entire time that sex was a mystery to Castiel but instead he's been seeing it since being assigned to watch the Earth, which is quite a long time. If anything, wouldn't he be a sex expert by this point? Perhaps it's just that he hadn't felt anything related to it and actually living life in a human vessel makes it more real, thus making things more confusing.

I may also be looking too deeply into it. I can't expect the writers to be 100% consistent; there are many episodes and many writers, and some may have THIS idea while others have THAT idea. It can be overwhelming, I'm sure. Though it does make analyzing at times somewhat difficult. At this point I am simply assuming that watching sex for Castiel was very different outside of a vessel, during a time before he had began to "feel" and so this is where his confusion comes from. ________________________________________________

SCENE 6

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DEAN Oh, I don't know, man. What can I say? You've been chosen. And it sucks. Believe me. There's no use asking "why me?" 'Cause the angels – they don't care. I think maybe they just don't have the equipment to care. Seems like when they try, it just... breaks them apart. ________________________________________________

Dean seems to be speaking about Castiel here. What he's really saying is: "Castiel doesn't care. I think maybe he just doesn't have the equipment to care. Seems like when he tried, it just... broke him apart."

I find it interesting that Dean says this. He feels that Castiel trying to care is what broke him apart. Though that's not what broke Castiel apart; taking Sam's pain did. Although Dean may be referring to a time sooner. He may be referring to Castiel's working with Crowley and the issue with Purgatory. Maybe he considers these bad decisions to be Castiel "breaking". Maybe Dean realizes that Castiel did this for him (as Castiel stated in 6x21). Maybe Dean feels he is partly to blame for it because he's the one who got Castiel feeling in the first place. Perhaps that's why he's unable to shake this one off, because he doesn't only blame Castiel, but blames himself (and Dean never forgives himself).

Or perhaps I'm looking too deeply into it and this is just Dean hurt and feeling that what he expected from Castiel was too much. Maybe disappointed that he thought Castiel was capable of more. He may feel that he never should have expected anything from an angel and is beating himself up over having put his trust and faith in Castiel. For having had any feelings for Castiel.

Though Dean is wrong about Castiel, and what Castiel did was in fact very human (making a mistake in an attempt to help the one you love), I am not here to judge Dean based on his opinions but rather to analyze what he feels. ________________________________________________

SCENE 7

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DEAN Whoa, whoa, whoa. Back off. We're actually trying to clean up one of your angel's messes! You know that.

CASTIEL He's right. An angel brought the Leviathan back into this world, and – and they begged him. They begged him not to do it.

DEAN Look, just give us some time, okay? We will take care of your Prophet.

HESTER Why should we give you anything... After everything you have taken from us? The very touch of you corrupts. When Castiel first laid a hand on you in Hell, he was lost! For that, you're going to pay. ________________________________________________

There is something very romantic about the way Hester stated this. "When Castiel first laid a hand on you in Hell, he was lost!" She basically is saying that Dean is the reason that Castiel fell and the reason that Castiel rebelled. The reason that he is going against them now, and that is not saying anything small. Castiel has admitted to this as well but her saying it, as well, reminds us of just how they perceive it. They realize that it was DEAN that created the change in Castiel. It truly is profound.

This also backs up my theory that Dean may in fact blame not only Castiel but himself for what Castiel has done because he's the reason that Castiel ever does anything. ________________________________________________

SCENE 8

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Here. “Leviathan cannot be slain but by a bone of a righteous mortal washed in the three bloods of the fallen.” Uh... It says we need to start with the blood of a fallen angel.

SAM and DEAN look at CASTIEL.

CASTIEL Well, you know me. [He holds out a small bottle.] I'm always happy to bleed for the Winchesters.

CASTIEL hands the bottle, which is filled with blood, to DEAN. ________________________________________________

Despite it all, Castiel still does whatever he can for Dean and Sam. He is loyal to them to a fault; Dean in particular. ________________________________________________

The rating doesn’t go up or down with this one.

DESTIEL RATING AFTER EPISODE (BASED ON HOW BELIEVABLE): 4.7/10

#dean winchester #castiel #destiel #supernatural #analyze #7x21 #meg

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marimopeace · 5 years

Note

After watching episode 10 of the reboot what's your interpretation of Shigure's character? What do you think his goals and intentions could be?

hi and thanks for the ask anon!

because of the way i am (an extreme overthinker) i’ll be unnecessarily extra with this response since i don’t know anything about your relationship with the series. i really don’t want to spoil anything in the case that you’re new to it entirely / watched the 2006 version but didn’t read the manga, but i still want to give my honest thoughts. i’ll put all things spoiler-y under a line break! i’ll also put tl;drs under each response in case my ranting is nothing like what you wanted to hear lol

// a visual break for your eyes //

so the good things is that whether someone’s fresh to the series or not, episode 10 of the reboot is definitely a plot twist even for viewers of the original furuba. i used to watch that show all the time as a kid and i remember the valentine’s day episode being something completely different–it was treated more as a side story featuring other members of the sohma family and was a way to expand more on tohru’s giving personality + throw in a lot of laughs, while in the 2019 version, it was a continuation of the ongoing plot that revealed more about kyo’s self-perception (especially in comparison to yuki), shigure’s darker motivations on integrating tohru into the sohma clan’s life, and still included some of the funny antics of the family (although much less gag-heavy than the 2006 version which was so nice).

i had actually never read the manga until right before the reboot aired since my younger self was always fine with just going off the old anime (read: i was lazy) so had a younger me seen shigure’s scene in this episode i would have genuinely been shocked because it would have been the first indication of him ever having malicious intentions whatsoever.

in the earlier episodes of the 2019 reboot it is shown that the usually fun and mischievous shigure can be serious and be the authoritative adult in the room (compared to his old anime version which was nothing but a jokester with a soft heart), but in episode 10 shigure was shown to be manipulative and cruel. the second mainly because of that scene where he prodded kyo in what could have been seen as a tough-love-trying-to-be-a-mentor-and-show-you-something-about-yourself-you-didn’t-know, but came off as a somewhat sadistic move to make kyo squirm and be uncomfortable for no reason.

shigure’s scene with hatori (LOVED THIS MOMENT) hints a bit at what his long term goal is. hatori helps the viewer get that both akito and shigure are scheming to take advantage of tohru’s relationships with the family (presumably kyo and yuki specifically since she’s closest to both of them and kyo was referenced a few seconds earlier by shigure in this same scene). shigure fills in more gaps by referencing something that happened when he, hatori, and aya (*SPOILER IF YOU’RE NEW* aka ayame who was revealed in the og anime) were all younger.

we the audience can tell by the wistful nature of shigure’s monologue (which i absolutely adored and made multiple posts out aha) that something about that vision stirred up feelings of affection inside him–feelings that his older self realized were a form of love. this love turned into an obsession (lol), and shigure seems dead set on satisfying this addictive yearning by obtaining said love.

the scene with akito at the end, and shigure’s internal thoughts that followed indicate that this eternal love lies with akito. going solely off the earlier dialogue, one might assume that either he’s going to do everything in his power to physically have akito in his grasp (aka have them be in his possession so he never has to fear anyone taking them away from him), or he will try to manipulate akito into reciprocating his feelings–or maybe even both!

tl;dr (spoiler-free) shigure, based off some mysterious premonition he had when he was younger, is utterly obsessed with the sohma clan head and will do everything he can to make them “his” (perhaps not exactly monopolizing them but definitely at least having akito acknowledge and return his feelings). he’s observed how tohru’s good nature has been affecting the two young sohmas under his roof and plans to use their relationship to his advantage in the politics of this mysterious af family, hopefully outwitting the family head as well. hatori is not a fan of this plan at all and shigure agrees that it’s terrible but he’s like well “i’m a trash person anyways!” so he doesn’t mind. the only indication that he does feel like his plans are morally wrong are when tohru offers him chocolate as well and he realizes that her charitable nature is endless and that she truly is just a good kid.

// cue my unnecessary response under the fold WITH SPOILERS based on the manga so bewarned)

*** i have no idea of whether or not you’ll be able to read under the fold anon so i’ll put the end of this (v long) answer here: hope you got something out of my interpretation and enjoy the rest of furuba! always feel free to reach out about whatever ***

so for whatever reason, be it a warped personality or pure infatuation, young shigure actually responded positively to the dream he and the other sohmas had when they became tied to akito through their zodiac spirits’ default loyalty. he actually aims to preserve that feeling of absolute belonging with akito, claiming them as his most beloved.

i found this tragically beautiful tbh bc shigure was the sole sohma to transform something that caused the rest of the family pain into something that brought him fulfillment. loving something is a very powerful thing and he made it so that he would always be by akito’s side in terms of his loyalties. (which is incredibly kind considering her own tragic circumstances–she has done terrible things but was raised under abuse herself and was isolated from the rest of reality.) i found it sad because he was in unrequited love for years but was stubborn to his ultimate end goal resulting in a back-and-forth relationship of manipulation/ monopolization/sex revenge with akito when someone else would have just given up on the possibility of the relationship working out. i almost used the term “sane person” but while shigure may have an insidious nature, his love for akito isn’t insane, yes it’s toxic but he actually did fall in love with her, it wasn’t unfound and coming from nowhere.

he’s seen how tohru has managed to get kyo and yuki to look at the bigger picture in terms of their relationships with people in general as well as how they see themselves as pets of the sohma name. he himself enjoys her balm-like effect on people (being part of a hellish household probably makes a sweet girl who does everything to care for others whether that be through chores, food, or cheering up seem like an absolute saint), but he–and akito–know that having a card around to mess with the workings of the sohma clan is all too important to have. especially since shigure’s main intent is to overthrow everything the family is about, not to be a part of the “good morals brigade”, but to get a hold of the person he wants to have so dearly.

he knows that akito is aware of his attraction, that doesn’t mean she understands the sincere love behind it. she sees it as an effect of their zodiac relationship/part of her delusion that the sohmas are all pawns to fend off her loneliness and prove she hasn’t been abandoned. if akito weren’t the emperor and was just akito the person, then shigure might have a chance of slipping in and making his dream a reality.

tl;dr (based on spoilers) shigure has had a bad case of puppy love for years and wants to milk tohru’s budding relationship with the sohmas to help his plans of destroying what the family is all about (blood feuds and lots and lots of drama), perhaps even ending the curse (i say perhaps bc i can’t think off the top of my head whether or not in the manga shigure did try to plan to break the curse on the whole family–i’m leaning no but my head is fuzzy on this rn). all this so that he can not only hold akito in his arms, but her love in his hands, so she’s truly “his” to have.

happy furuba watching anon!

#fruits basket 2019 #furuba #anime #shigure sohma #hatori sohma #akito sohma #fruits basket #anime analysis #manga #marimoasks #i'm a ranter ik and i'm sorry idk what's wrong with me either u.u

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michael-radi-the-glamorous-life · 5 years

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There Must Be More

“…than this Provincial life!”

Sorry, I just needed to have my Belle moment. That’s totally not what this post is about. I just adore that score.

Onward!

Over the past week I saw 3 shows - 2 Broadway and 1 Off-Broadway.

These shows were (in the order I saw them):

Scotland, PA

The Inheritance Part 1

Tootsie

Now, regardless of how I felt about each of these shows, or how much I did or did not enjoy them individually, they all had something in common per my experience in watching them.

At one point (at least) in every one of these shows I had the thought: “…But must we? This again? Isn’t there more out there? There must be more.”

Allow me to explain.

Enjoyment vs Analysis

Just a quick side note before I dive in.

I think it’s important here to know that I do not think that enjoyment and criticism are mutually exclusive. In fact, I personally believe they go hand in hand.

When someone asks why you didn’t enjoy something, most people are ready with their criticisms handy to defend their positions. But when someone asks me why I did enjoy something, I feel the same way. I like to know why I enjoyed it and be able to explain that to people.

And nothing is perfect. Nor is it a requirement to explain your likes and dislikes. But for me, enjoying something - or even loving something - does not mean that I find it to be perfect or above criticism.

I adore Back To The Future. One of my favorites growing up. But the movie’s got issues, both artistically and socially issues (ie soooo, we’re saying a white man invented rock’n’roll???).

Anywho. Onward!

Blindingly White

Okay. I know. I’m aware.

Most of the writing spaces and head artistic positions for Broadway and Off-Broadway shows are occupied by men. Generally white men. Generally cis, white men. Often even straight, cis, white men.

But in the world we are living in today, does that fact need to translate directly into the stories being told on the stage? At the very least, does it need to feature as prominently across the shows listed in the back of the Playbill as it currently does?

All three shows I just saw focused on cis, white men. And for two of them it was straight, cis, white men.

Now, is this necessarily a problem? No, not necessaaaaarily. But it says something. Actually, it says a lot of things.

Especially considering that the 2 shows featuring straight men were specifically about under-achieving straight, cis, white men who learned relatively shallow lessons and didn’t really end up changing - a genre that has filled our canons of literature, theatre, film, and TV for a very very long time.

Let’s be more specific.

Scotland, PA

A musical parody adapted from a movie parody of Macbeth.

Main character - Straight, cis, white man.

The guy is an under-achiever according to his wife, even though he’s happy with the life they have and it’s also clear he has aspirations for more, if the opportunity were to present itself.

The wife is played by a black woman and, similar to the Shakespeare play, she exists mostly to prop up the ambitions (or lack thereof) of her husband - even though she is the one who actually wants more and has the stomach to chase after it.

And then she’s scapegoated.

And goes insane. And regrets everything, but isn’t given the capacity to fulfill that character arc. So she must die instead. Of course.

“Classic women, am I right?!”

No. You are not.

So, as this man rises and takes more we are meant to root for him, even though we know he’s doing terrible things. But why? Why this story? Why this story again? Why this story again now without some sizable changes for more relevance? Is it really that interesting today?

It’s not a bad story - it wouldn’t endure otherwise - but there must be more.

The Inheritance Part 1

Full disclaimer: I loved it. I wept. I think it’s doing great work for this generation.

Main characters - All gay, cis, white men. And there are up to 6 main characters in this first part, depending on how you classify the term main character, and all of them fall into this category.

Now, this show is really about interpersonal struggles and relationships, and how that echoes across generations - particularly for the marginalized group that is gay men. It’s also a story about growth, change, hardship, and love. I really do think this play is doing beautiful work.

The remainder of the non-main character cast is mostly non-white, which is really awesome to see. However, so far in this play, the conversation amongst all of these people and characters is about the lives, stories, and struggles of the gay community as seen through white gay male eyes and experiences.

There are black and Latino characters on that stage, but we aren’t even touching their extra layers of struggle and experience. Meanwhile, the play is discussing the future of gay men and where they are potentially headed, as a group with its own vibrant culture. A culture that they even acknowledge to come from appropriations from the drag community, which appropriated from the ballroom community, which consists almost entirely of queer men of color.

This seems like a pretty sizable issue.

The play is focused on worries of continued and intensified marginalization, but it simultaneously has left out a gigantic piece of the conversation about marginalization by leaving out the additional layers of struggle for non-white gay men.

And this is not even to mention that - although other letter of the LGBTQ+ world are mentioned - the focus is entirely on gay men. What about the rest of the community? Isn’t it all the same history? The same inheritance?

Gay men can claim Stonewall all they want (and they do), but transwomen of color threw those bricks.

Gay men can claim the AIDS epidemic, but the affects of that disease were highly striated amongst sub-groups and especially men of color.

I loved this play. I cannot wait for Part 2. But I just kept thinking, “there’s more here.”

There must be more.

Tootsie

Okay, let’s do it. Let’s talk Tootsie.

I’m not going to go too in-depth here, mostly because there is a lot about this show that is well-crafted and plenty of people are enjoying it. And perhaps, for some people in these audiences, this show really does push the envelop in their minds. But we do have to say it…

This show probably should not exist. Not today, anyway.

Main character - Straight, cis, white man who pretends to be a straight, cis, white woman to book a job.

This man is apparently (objectively) talented too, which means he has many a leg-up in the world in comparison to the majority of people around him.

So, what’s keeping him from getting work?

He’s an angry and uncontrolled human who acts out and gets fired, which means he doesn’t retain contacts from his jobs since he burns bridges. And…

He’s getting older. (Like, 40? Is this one really a problem for men in the business? I remain unconvinced.)

Now, here are some merits about this story (stick with me):

A story of a straight, cis, white man who ruins his own chances at a steady and productive life because of his anger…this is relevant. This is extremely relevant. And if the show were about that particular person, their growth, and their personal journey to leave that toxicity behind, well, then we might have a good story here that is relevant to today.

His alter ego - for she does seem to be a character unto herself and completely disassociated from her male counterpart - Dorothy is actually quite a badass woman. She fights against sexism and ageism in a world rampant with it. And if this were a story about an actual woman fighting for these things in this world, this would be an excellent and relevant story.

But alas, this show is ultimately neither of these things.

Here’s what it actually contains:

The man learns lessons - but not enough.

He changes - but does he?

His alter ego is wonderful - but she doesn’t exist.

There’s a fight for and positive messages for women and feminism - but it’s led entirely by a man in a dress.

There’s a fight against ageism - but led by a man, and men don’t seem affected by this in the capacity that women are.

And not to mention the fact that there are some really cringy moments in this show that parade as feminism, ageism, and trans-positive moments, which really aren’t any of those things. Instead, they are part of a plot for this out-of-work man to get - and then retain - his job.

Is this show moving us backward? I don’t think it is. It could have become that, but it didn’t. And for that fact - adapting from a source material “of a different time” - I will tip my hat.

But is it moving us forward? Nope. Not at all. Not in the least.

So, I again ask: “Why this story? Why now? Is there really not more???”

There must be more.

There Is More

Okay, there is. So much more.

But it’s not being put out there into the commercial consciousness. And when it is, it’s not happening fast enough or as prevalently as it needs to.

And I don’t mean to rail against these particular shows - they had the bad luck of being the 3 newer shows that I happened to see within the same 4 days.

There are plenty of positives for them as well:

Scotland, PA had some awesome music.

The Inheritance Part 1 is beautiful and saying some very important things.

Tootsie made me laugh more than most musicals ever do.

But there is still more.

And we need to find it and put it out there. We need to continue moving forward and stop treading water. Let’s celebrate more people - other people.

There are countless good stories to tell, so let’s find them and tell them to the world with the prevalence that has been given to white men. We can, we should, and we will.

#glamorous life blog #glamorous life #theatre #theater #theatre artist #more #Broadway #Off-Broadway #Scotland PA #The Inheritance #Tootsie #cis white men #straight #gay #criticism

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