#which is also true because I don’t eat cats

[sorrygotthesesacks]

I have never hated a kitchen appliance more than the food processor.

[bedoballoons]

oh well if you didn’t get itI basically said that move to will probably not be able to control mui because he only appears to turn into ai but it’s just an illiusion.

for my request it was another mitsuri like us x character but we are sad about our past.

SPOILER FOR SEASON 3!!!!!

Due to mitsuri eating so much food, having be reallly strong and have pink and green hair. She was called a pig and one EX said that only a cow or pig would ever marry her which made her dye her hair black and eat 9x less than she needed. And when she found another partner she realized she don’t keep on pretending. One headcannon can I have about her is that you do this she gained an eating disorder. Where she will not eat as much as she needs.

can the characters be: wanderer,albedo,diluc,kaeya,xiao and one of your choice. I love your works and also My cat just had 3 KITTYS!!! I plan on naming them scarameow,kokkie and coco.🐱🐱🍫🍪

Ohhh! You know I really seem to write this show alot and I've still never seen it... :p CONGRATULATIONS on kittens!! Those are such cute names!! I hope they are all doing well ❤️❤️

─⊰⁠⊹ฺ🎃𝔾𝕖𝕟𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕟 ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕔𝕒𝕟𝕠𝕟𝕤⊰⁠⊹ฺ🎃

{༻~Mitsuri like reader~༺}

CW: Angsty! Reader has a eating disorder, has been called a pig and is self conscious about weight! (Pet names: Lyney: Mon chérie, my love,

A/n: I just wanted to say that if you've ever been called a pig, or cow or made fun of for your weight, please don't listen to them. Your body is beautiful and me personally I think you're amazing wether you're skinnier than average or heavier than average. You are gorgeous! ❤️

(Includes: Diluc, Lyney, Albedo, Xiao, Wanderer, and Kaeya!)

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

𑁍༄Diluc:

Diluc set a plate in front of you, sitting in the chair across from you with a hopeful gleam in his red eyes...,"I haven't seen you eat anything all day...please, just a few bites. It's your favourite, fresh out of the oven." You looked down at the fresh warm food, the wonderful smell making your stomach churn unhappily, it was such a fatty dish...

Suddenly the harsh words of others started playing in your head, reminding you why you wanted to loose weight so badly..

Pig

Cow

Fatty

You pushed his cooking away, unable to even take a nibble, "I'm not hungry...sorry Diluc. It smells amazing though..." you tried to smile at him, but he clearly wasn't happy with your response. He took your hand into his and placed a kiss on your fingers, whispering against them with sorrow in his voice, "You are beautiful the way you are...please, don't listen to them."

𑁍༄Lyney:

Lyney hurried up to you, holding a freshly baked croissant in his hands that he'd gotten for the two of you to share, silently hoping you'd eat it with him...that all of his suspicions weren't true, "Mon chérie! Looks yummy hmm? Want to sit down for a bite?" His eyes met yours and he simply couldn't imagine how someone could say anything horrible about you, you...were the most gorgeous person in his eyes and he wished so desperately he could show you that.

"I don't mind if we sit and chat while you eat! I'm not really in the mood for a croissant right now, thank you though." You tried your best to sound sweet and truthful, feeling so guilty you had to lie to him...but you wanted to be perfect for him and loosing weight seemed to be the only way...at least in everyone else's eyes.

"...my love, I'll get you anything you wish to eat.."

"I'm just...not hungry right now Lyney."

He grasped your wrist softly, stopping you from walking away so he could kiss your lips...he'd find a way to show you your own beauty, he'd tell you every hour on the dot if he had to...

𑁍༄Albedo:

Albedo bit his lip, for once in his life he had encountered a problem he just had no idea how to solve, he thought of you as the true meaning of life, the very being that made him want to get out of bed every morning and show his love for you any way he could, a inspiration that never ceased to look perfect and yet...you didn't feel that way about yourself...

How could it be, how could someone break your heart...call you a pig for enjoying food...a cow, it bothered him to no end and he just couldn't wrap his head around that cruelty..."Klee and I made cookies...they are chocolate chip...with a few sprinkles, would you like some?" He sat next to you, Klee following after him, "Ohhh please try one! The sprinkles make them extra yummy!" She looked at you with such a cute face...that for a split second you considered it...they smelled so good and even with sprinkles you could tell they'd be delicious..but, you felt sick at the thought of taking bite...

"Awe next time Klee, I'm...not hungry right now..."

Albedo sighed...how was he going to fix this...

𑁍༄Xiao:

Xiao was having a hard time understanding your situation, it didn't make sense, why would the pathetic humans who couldn't compare to you in the slightest tell you such awful things...and why would you ever believe them? He was so worried about you, your normally plump cheeks sunken in slightly and your happy smile gone, you didn't enjoy eating...in fact he almost never saw you eat at all anymore.

He had to remind you every two minutes, just to take a few bites and even then you'd refuse, "You should eat...you need to. Please." You'd look away, slightly angry...slightly sad and just say you didn't want to, and it wasn't like he was going to force you to, but he wished there was a way he could help. He'd just have to keep telling you what was true...clearing their sick words from your mind with his sweet sentiments,

"You are the true meaning of every beautiful thing in this world, those mortals are threatened by it and seek to destroy you because of it...don't listen to them."

"You look perfect in my eyes..."

𑁍༄Wanderer:

"Why are you listening to those idiots! They probably wouldn't know what beauty was if it slapped them in the face! You are...ughhh" Wanderer groaned in annoyance, knowing full well yelling wasn't going to help you...but he was just so angry, how dare anyone bully you like that, get under your skin. "I'm sorry....I didn't mean to shout, I just, you can't believe what they are saying! Hell if someone like me, who's never loved anyone before...who never gave a damn what people looked like...could fall so goddamn hard for you, you have to be goregous. I will say that as many times as I have to!"

You fought the urge to cry, he didn't usually get so emotional over things like this, but he was worried about you and...for good reason, "Wanderer, I'm fine.." You tucked a piece of your pink hair behind you ear, trying to hide from his prying eyes that starred daggers at you, did you truly think he'd buy that? "Don't lie to me. You're not fine, you're hurting yourself...making yourself sick. Just tell me what to do! How do I help! What do I say...you're fucking perfect to me...isn't that enough?"

𑁍༄Kaeya:

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

"Oh...are you sure you don't want just a bite. I've gone and ordered two, you wouldn't want me to have to eat both would you? I'd surely become ill with a stomach ache.." Kaeya scooched the plate in your direction, using every persuasive method he could think of...he'd already tried complimenting you over and over, flirting with you more often, showering you with kisses and love, but you still wouldn't enjoy a meal with him. This was his last resort...

"Kaeya..."

"Pretty please...just a little would make me so happy..."

You sighed, thinking about how much you'd eaten...or more rather, how much you hadn't eaten and took a small bite, the flavours tasting good, but not like they used to...it was difficult to even swallow. Kaeya seemed so proud though, so...hopeful.

◥(•̀￦•́)◤☪︎ ִ ࣪𖤐 ☾𖤓~Have a nice day~*⁠.⁠✧

[unapologeticpippin]

Why are other shifters so against race changing and aging up/down? (Read the entire post before getting mad.)

I truly believe that if you do not condone race changing or aging up/down, you do not get the concept of shifting. Sure, there are times where boundaries must be set, for example if people race change just because you have a fetish, that is wrong.

On the other hand, changing races to explore culture and expand your knowledge is not. The same goes for aging up/down. If you age change SOLELY to date minors, get help. (10 year olds.)

Although, some people don’t seem to understand that people who age up/down may just want to experience being a different age. The realities we shift to are our choice, and the only time you have the right to judge someone is if they shift to groom or kill innocent people.

Just because you race change (in other realities) does not mean you are weird, or “rcta” for goodness sake. You were ALWAYS that race in that reality. You merely chose to experience it.

It baffles me how some of you cannot stand race changing, but have realities in which you are mythical beings. Is that not the same thing? If you shift to a reality where you are a cat, or mermaid, its fine, but if you change races, it’s not? It becomes offensive?

Open your eyes. You are in a completely different reality. It is not wrong. Our bodies are merely as clothing. We can change them whenever we want to, however we want to. Your only true self is that of your conciousness.

This brings me to my next point.

Race changing is alright because in that reality, you were always that race. It is different with the matters of the mind. Murder, for example. Murder is a choice which you conciously make. A choice you can choose to make in every reality.

Changing your race and age, however, is not. You may choose to be a certain race and age in some realities, but in some you are not. But if you have the mindset of a murderer? You are a murderer in every. single. reality. (Unless you respawn with zero memory)

Another thing, is that when you age up or down, you will be as mature as your age. Your brain would not be the same. Why would it be? Yes, you would be concious. But that is all it is. It does not contribute to your physical state.

You may have chosen to eat less sugar in this reality because it’s bad for you, and you know that. But in a reality in which you were four years old? You would eat the sugar without hesitation.

Why? Because that is what your brain desires. Just because you know you’ve made a certain choice in a certain situation, doesn’t mean you would not react differently to said situation were you a different age.

Because again, your brain would be different. It would produce chemicals differently, thus resulting in behavioral deviation.

Let’s go back to the “murderer mindset” topic. Let us say that a murderer had chosen to age down. He is now 6 years old. What would become of his “murderer mindset”?

If he has already made the choice to murder in other realities, he would probably also do so in the reality in which he is 6 years of age. It may not happen while he is 6, but he will already have the feeling of murder. Most times, twisted people will always be twisted. There are times which this is not the case, but that’s a different matter.

To conclude, race and age changing are only altering physical attributes, and should not be judged. You should only judge if someone is conciously making a choice to be horrible.

Let me repeat:

Race changing IS OKAY. (With the right mindset)

Aging up/down IS OKAY. (With the right mindset)

If you want to leave hateful comments, just scroll.

[ventismacchiato]

40 behind the lens — paper rings !

scaramouche x g!n reader

⇢ ˗ˏˋ time skip of three years ࿐ྂ

˗ˏˋ headcanons ´ˎ˗

✰ you and kuni graduate at the top of your respected classes and have been dating for almost five years now, known properly as the campus it couple

✰ neither of you moved in together until last year when everyone else started moving out of the shared content houses

✰ first xiaoae move out together, then childe, then heikazu, albenari, then ayaka going back home and venti living on his own

✰ living in the houses on your own was essentially a waste of money and space so jean ended your leases and you guys finally moved in together

✰ and after graduation, with jean’s help, you’re able to slide into the industry pretty easily with your large fanbases

✰ you start off as side characters that grow in popularity since your fans watch the shows and movies you star in just for you both

✰ i like to think kuni double majored in child psych along with film in case acting didn’t work out in his favor so he’s pretty and smart

✰ but since this is fiction it did work out for him cus dreams come true #livelaughlove

✰ id like to think star/you would also act but probably dials it down to direct full time instead

✰ you preferred to direct compared to acting so eventually you started to fund your own projects with kuni on your cast which helped you grow

✰ you try not to cast kuni in every one of your movies because then it’ll look like favoritism but he prefers to star in ones you direct

✰ you also get your friends to be extras a lot, most of the time it’s childe who begs you to let him be in the back for movies

✰ you guys probably don’t get engaged for a while despite living together, blaming it on scara’s commitment issues and the fact that your careers are your main focus

✰ alongside luna, your previous black cat, you probably adopt another white one alongside scara

✰ as for actor!scara headcanons imagine scara on hot ones, that one show on youtube, and he has a straight face the entire time as he eats the hottest wings and answers questions about you

✰i think he’d have a lot of fun on shows like that, example would be eat it or spill it by jimmy fallon, he would annihilate them

✰ he probably does all his own stunts, always giving you a heart attack as you see him falling from heights on harnesses, sometimes he convinces the staff to fool you into thinking he actually got hurt due to a broken rope as he plummets to the ground

✰ he does it so much that there’s enough content for ‘scara pretending to die in front of yn for ten minutes straight’ compilations

✰ you guys probably stream when you can but not as much with your jobs, i think star doing behind the scenes vlogs of you and scara together would be so cute though

˗ˏˋ headcanons ´ˎ˗

✰ was a communications major so he’s the PR manager for scara and you after graduating

✰ yes i know technically jean could do this but she has enough on her plate! i’m just thoughtful like that #feminist

✰ constantly trying to prevent you guys from getting into scandals, which is hard when scara cannot keep his opinions to himself

✰ aether probably has a heart attack everytime scara goes off to do interviews since scara always ignores the pre written answers and goes on tangents, which his fans love but twitter not so much

✰ xiao as an animator wud be so sexy guys. like walk with me here imagine an operation true love anime after the drama and webtoon are a hit so he gets to animate for the anime and storyboards with albedo

✰ i’m tryna intertwine all of them even after they graduate can you tell

✰ as for him and aether they probably tie the knot a little while after graduating, small wedding with just close friends and family

✰ xiao would edit one of those pretty wedding videos that youtubers do

✰ but they don’t film the entire wedding for their channels cus they gotta gatekeep

✰ id say xiao probably still streams but he mainly just draws with music in the background or works on his stardew town with aether

✰ xiao probably strains his wrist a lot from all the work he does so at promotion events he’s always wearing a brace on his hand

˗ˏˋ headcanons ´ˎ˗

✰ okay in this au let’s all pretend he’s the creator of operation true love cus rmbr he’s a writing major and a huge romantic

✰ like how sexy is that, obviously it does well cus all his fans all read it and so it gets turned into a drama

✰ directed by you of course starring kuni as eunhyuk

✰ he’s still head over heels and throwing up in love with heizou, they probably adopt a cat together when they move in together

✰ i imagine if kazuha ever wrote a murder mystery novel he’d have heizou read it to decipher if the culprit was too easy to figure out

✰ nothing really exciting about heizou’s major in this au, he probably just becomes a detective and streams on the side, known as kazuha’s partner in the entertainment industry and attends all the events when he can

˗ˏˋ headcanons ´ˎ˗

✰ obviously goes into the art industry, works on a lot of graphic novels and novel covers and sometimes album covers

✰ when kazuha’s work gets turned into mangas or graphic novels he always does the art for it

✰ he probably paints nari’s favorite flowers for him and they adorn their house’s walls

✰ i’d say he doesn’t stream as much anymore but if he does it’s probably just him doing commissions with music in the background

✰ nari’s major is also not exciting in this au, probably becomes a forest ranger or a college professor

✰ albedo builds him a greenhouse in the back of their house for him

✰ the type to bring hurt animals home and fosters them back to health

˗ˏˋ headcanons ´ˎ˗

childe

✰ stealing from my pookie mrbeast for inspo

✰ he probably does stuff like has a whole business for his videos and side hustles like merch and a food company

✰ like maybe he and diluc collab to make an energy drink or something

✰i mentioned he fancies diluc like once in a previous chapter so that’s why he’s with diluc who streams a little

✰ they probably met properly at another twitch con or creator event

✰ very wow factor oriented like he does more than just stream games, he prefers to work on big challenge videos and loves giving away money

✰ like he would host those extreme hide-and-seek challenges with all his youtuber/streamer friends in weird locations and get them to do weird dares with him

✰ i think heizou would win those types of videos most of the time, whereas scara barely tries and still seems to almost win

✰ diluc probably does one stream a month because it’s not his entire focus, probably also a business major and just appears in childe’s videos once in a while

✰ how cute would it be if childe was always at his 110% in videos and extra hyper to make them more entertaining but when diluc joins him he’s more calm and cute

venti

✰ his streaming fanbase gives him a jumpstart in his music career yk how it is

✰ does a bunch of osts for shows and movies. still streams but also is a popular musician

✰ not an idol 😍🤞 has to be a little different than jptp but does start out by opening for tours and makes it on billboard

✰ i do think he’d eventually do a world tour though on his own and stray away from streaming to focus on his music, would probably just upload vlogs if anything

✰ does the operation true love ost so everyone is working tgt and he’s single in this au cus #singlerep

ayaka

��� honestly i don’t care what happens to ayaka she’s just there ig

✰ keep doing what ur doing queen! i’ll support you from all the way over here!

behind the lens !

masterlist — prev | next

yes i’m using yeonjun as scaras face 🤞

also sorry if this isn’t as in depth as the jptp one i’m just tryna wrap this fic up ☠️

author’s notes — just like jptp i just wanted to do a bunch of headcanons :] this is how i envision their future and if u don’t agree talk to the wall cus idc 😊

synopsis — you, better known as STARDUST, and BALLADEER have always been in competition for the top streamer spot on twitch, which is especially impressive since the two of you have never shown your faces. you’ve never been on good terms, constantly one-upping each other in matches and getting into petty arguments on twitter, causing your fans to also dislike each other. that’s until BALLADEER does a face reveal that breaks the internet with his good looks…which makes you realize it’s the same guy you went on a date with last night. the type of date that made you crave to see him again. the only problem was he didn’t know you were STARDUST and he was way different behind the lens than he portrayed himself online to you. should you keep your identity a secret to salvage the relationship or just let him go?

taglist is closed — @captainzep @elysiumarchieve @plinkuro @sakkakuu-squared @eliqusgenma @vuvulia @kunikuzushiit @ins4nebish @stxrgxzxr @lilacponds @uma-umie @mitsukifilms @caesars-bubbles @wheneverthesunrise @its-like-twilight @kazuhalvrr @erosdevil @thenightsflower @p1utto @noodleshark420 @lxry-chxn @court-jester-stuff @lauragalliart @veyu002 @kaeyas-eyepatch-69 @leathernourishingshoepolish @satowaluverr @lexlapis @drunkwithfever @exhaustedcommunist @vincanzu @ainlaw @ovaliz @kitsuvil @whatamidoing89 @celestair @kunihaver @kazioli @xiaosoneandonly @cridtiins @cherrybeomgyu @asukahiriko @moon-320 @orionicchaos @cartierfiles [1/3]

[sanguineterrain]

it shall pass | miguel o'hara

Summary: Miguel isn’t alone, not anymore. Sometimes, he needs to be reminded of that.

Pairing: Miguel O'Hara x gn!reader (some Spanish endearments are female-gendered, but other than that, no gendered descriptions.)

Word count: 1k

Content desc: bathing together, Miguel has a tough day, insecurity, established relationship. Lots of fluff bc he deserves to be taken care of!!!!

A/N: hi guys! I’m back with more Miguel <3 as usual, it’s not anyone’s responsibility to correct my Spanish, but I always appreciate corrections, if offered. Also, I try to use Mexican slang only, since Miguel is Mexican, so if something is off with that, please feel free to let me know. 

Translations: 

Hola, cielito - hi, sweetheart

Mi amor - my love

Estoy sucio - I’m dirty.

Solo para que pueda sentirte - Just so I can feel you.

¿Puedes hacerlo frente a mí, por favor? - In front of me, please?

No es nada - It’s nothing.

Tonto - fool/idiot 

Yo no sería nada sin ti - I’m nothing without you.

Es verdad - it’s true.

If you enjoy, please let me know through comments/reblogs ♡

the divider

Even after eight months together, Miguel enters your apartment like a cat burglar. Like he should not be here. 

You'd told him, at first, to stop that and used the truth as your reason: because he didn't need to. This is your home, but it's his too, and it puts pins in your heart every time he comes in like he's doing something wrong. Like he's waiting for the other shoe to drop. 

Then you'd tried humor. You scare the soul out of me when you do that, Miguelito. Maybe we should put a bell around your neck.

It hadn't done anything. He still acts like he's not allowed to jingle his keys in the lock and leave his shoes by the door and help himself to your shampoo and orange juice. 

So when you hear his footsteps at the door and you can track him as he heads for the kitchen, you’re worried. You rarely hear him coming. Miguel always finds you immediately, even if you're a block from the house. You'd asked him once how he knows it's you; he told you it’s because you have a distinct step. 

You might find that a little unnerving if you weren't so damn enamored with him. 

"Miggy? That you, sweetheart?"

He appears like you've summoned him, hunching in the doorway of the kitchen. You turn from the chopping board with a smile. It dims as you take in his appearance. 

"Hey," you say, putting down the knife and walking to him. 

"Hola, cielito," he says quietly, gaze downcast. 

You reach your hands up and Miguel bows his head slightly so you can cup his face. Your thumbs brush over his smooth jaw, caressing up and down in a pattern. 

"What happened, mi amor?"

He shakes his head. Miguel isn’t small, but you learned early on that he holds the most weight in his eyes. Every shard of guilt, every worry, every fear, they all sit in those crimson eyes. 

“Just—” He clears his throat, swallows. “Just a hard day.”

He brushes your hips with the pads of his fingers. You make a small noise, encouraging him.

“Touch me,” you say. 

He opens his mouth and maybe it’s because you’ve known him for so long, but you hear the words before he dares to say them. I don’t deserve to.

“I want you to,” you say before he can speak. 

“The dinner…”

You shake your head. “Don’t worry about it, Mig. We can eat later.”

He’s still in his suit. You try to scan him for scratches or bruises, but the technology repairs itself, which makes it impossible for you to detect anything. 

“Estoy sucio,” he mumbles, still not touching you.

You think for a moment. Then you lace your hand with Miguel’s and tug him towards the bathroom. He follows, brow crooked in confusion but he trusts you. You know he does.

The bathtub had been a special installation. A treat, for you and Miguel. He doesn’t use it on his own; only at your prompting. But you’re glad for it anyway. 

You kneel and turn on the faucet, plugging the drain. You look up at Miguel, tilting your head at the tub. 

“What soap do you want?” you ask.

“The one you use,” he says.

You smile and take the honey and cloves bubble bath: one of the few things you allow yourself to indulge in. Miguel tightens his hands into fists. 

“Will you join me? Not—solo para que pueda sentirte,” he clarifies. 

You soften immeasurably, reaching to remove your shirt. 

“Yeah, baby,” you say quietly. “Of course I’ll join you.”

His hands relax. 

You stand to slip off your shorts. The tub fills quickly, and it’s only another minute before you have to turn it off. The water is foamy. Steam rises, and all the mirrors fog up. Miguel silently removes his suit. You watch his back muscles shift as he gracefully steps into the water. His shoulders are strung with tension. There’s a quickly fading bruise on his right shoulder and another on the side of his ribcage. You can’t do anything except let them heal.

“Want me to wash your hair?” you ask as he settles in the water, barely sloshing any.

“Okay,” he murmurs. 

You start to climb in behind him, equally bare, but Miguel stops you with a hand on your thigh. 

“¿Puedes hacerlo frente a mí, por favor?”

He looks up at you. A dark curl has fallen out of place, sitting over his eyebrow. It makes him look so young. He is young. You forget that sometimes. 

“Sure, honey,” you say, changing your position. “Sorry.” 

He shakes his head. “No es nada.”

You take the little cup you keep on the edge of the tub and scoop water. You shield Miguel’s eyes as you wet his hair, pushing the water back over his scalp. Then you take the shampoo, lathering some between your palms. Miguel bows his head forward so you can reach. His hands creep to your waist again, more solid in their hold this time. You can feel the blunt divots where his talons rest in his fingers. They trace tiny circles on your skin. He’s trying to ground himself.

“Do you remember when we first met?” you ask.

Miguel snorts. “How could I forget? I was such a tonto that day.”

“You were not!” you insist, smiling. 

“I was. I can’t believe you agreed to a date with me.”

“Well, I don’t know why that’s so hard to believe. I was very charmed by you, O’Hara. Still am.”

You fill the cup with water and cover Miguel’s eyes again as you rinse the shampoo out. You gently scrunch definition back into his waves. His hand slides up your back and Miguel pulls you into him, so your chest is against his. He rests his chin lightly on your shoulder. You wrap your arms around his neck in response. 

“I missed you,” he says into your skin.

“You saw me this morning, mi amor.”

“I know.”

Miguel is warm and all-encompassing. You lightly massage the base of his scalp, nose pressed to his hair. He smells like the both of you. 

“Yo no sería nada sin ti,” he says.

“That’s not true,” you say, squeezing his shoulder. “Not true, Miggy.”

“Es verdad. You make me better.”

“We make each other better,” you correct. “And I have a year and a half of proof.”

Miguel sighs and it sounds a little wet. You hug him tighter.

“I got you.”

The water turns cold. Neither of you feel it, wrapped in each other.

[babyspacekwid]

PERSONAL ASTROLOGY OBSERVATIONS 💕💕

Not a professional astrologer, just a girl obsessed with her own chart and other people’s signs :)

Sagittarius moons/stellium are the most unbothered people I have ever met (unless other aspects suggest otherwise) My sag moon friend walked into class not knowing there was a midterm and just thought to herself « it is what it is » while this can be a benefit because anxiety just doesn’t exist for these people, it can often cause problems like being too aloof, which can affect those surrounding them

Speaking of Gemini moon they are high strung all the time. There is no mental rest here, also good chances of developing crippling anxiety as a mutable moon sign. I’ve also noticed these peoples minds working so fast?! Like finishing your sentences kinda thing. The whole stereotype of Geminis being two faced needs to go though, these people are adaptable chameleons, they will mirror you, essentially they are very different with other people because they want to make everyone they interact with, comfortable.

Sagittarius rising have common features that I’ve noticed like big round eyes, big smiles and big teeth. I’ve noticed most also have crooked teeth, it’s really charming. Smart and wise people they are.

Cancer moon with cancer rising, I lived with one and let me tell you, I’d have to open my door at night so she could cry and listen to sad music because she was away from her childhood cat. Also these people may have alcoholic tendencies, but I’ve noticed this with every water moon, Pisces, Scorpio, and cancer, may have substance abuse issues.

Mars in Aquarius, when you get angry, you’re unpredictable, but most times you give the silent treatment, not because you’re ignoring the person, but because you’re deep in thought.

Libra risings have really pretty eyes, every libra rising I’ve met has this alluring charm, like their eyes have this duality of being intimidating to look at but when they smile it’s like their eyes shine like stars. Charmingly pretty people, but also may have dealt with body issues as they are most of the time bigger bodied, they can be chubby,curvy and well rounded, or just in general have a broad shoulders and a big butt. They’re not small framed. Very balanced features though.

8th house mercuries the type to listen to true crime while literally doing anything. Cleaning? True crime. Sleeping? True crime. Eating? True crime. You guys just like getting into the minds of criminals, what made them do what they do? It’s like looking at a criminal as if they were a creature to dissect, don’t get these people wrong, they don’t idolize murderers, they just have a deep understanding of the taboo.

Im just doing this for fun but I hope some of you guys related haha💕

[hyunsvngs]

I have an idea for an a/b/o-adjacent/hybrid au fic?

okay so imagine: bunny hybrid reader who is getting increasingly frustrated by their sexual partners. everyone has heard the phrase ‘fuck like rabbits’ and they are especially tired of it. like yes, it’s true, bunny hybrids have a higher sex drive. and while their partners are always excited about this fact, they always end up disappointed. they all tap out before poor bunny!reader is fulfilled, so this phrase is a blessing and a curse for them. lots of people are interested in fucking them, but none of their encounters are ever what they need.

now cue bunny!changbin with the same problem, except he’s a bit nicer than bunny!reader and always lies to his partners about getting his fill as to not hurt any egos. but he is perpetually blue-balling himself because his partners always get totally fucked out before he’s really fulfilled. and on one hand he’s a little proud because his partners always get off at least, but he’s getting desperate.

they both, separately, confide in kitty!felix who lends a sympathetic ear while secretly plotting how he’s going to help his horny bunnies find each other. and he finally decides that he wouldn’t mind being there to lend a helping hand (he’s tried helping them both tbh but even his high libido can’t compare with them). so we get binlixreader threesome, where the bunnies get to play with felix before fucking each other. felix gets fucked out (of course) and resigns to curling up in a blanket and sipping some water while the bunnies are left to entertain each other.

and it’s going really well because by this point they’re quite comfortable with each other, and both so horny out of their minds that they just want to get on with it. and they are literally just fucking, like desperately riding each other through multiple orgasms and into overstimulation. but they both need it so bad and don’t want to stop. and even though they’re horny animals, binnie is still a gentleman so he has to check in like: “are you good? do you need a break?” and reader is thinking ‘oh no, this is it’ but is like “yeah, I’m fine. do you need a break?” and bin is like “no no, this is so good. like, please tell me when you want to stop but also I can’t imagine stopping right now” and reader is like “oh perfect, same. like don’t push yourself, but also just keep fucking me please”

so felix is just like, there (lol) waiting for them to tire each other out. he takes a nap, eats a snack, has a shower. the bunnies with their crazy low refractory periods probably have less than a minute breaks before they’re on top of each other again. felix eventually just leaves them be until they finally finish, then he comes in and makes them hydrate and quickly wipes them clean. and both of them are insatiable for another reason now, because they’re super sleepy and fucked out. so they whine and beg for felix to cuddle them and he’s like “oh my god, you’re both so needy” but does end up wedged between them while he coaxes them into eating snacks and pets their floppy ears. and he’s like “that was hot, but you two need to learn some self-control. do you know what time it is?” and they’re both like “mh-hm, m’okay, kisses please” 

and felix sighs and just decides to let his bunnies rest while he handles all the aftercare. which sort of ties into actual animal behavior, because cats view themselves as the dominant one when they groom other animals but rabbits view themselves as the dominant one when they’re being groomed. but anyway, felix continues to take care of his bunnies whenever they need him and they are also happy to dote on him when he needs a bit of love

anyway, byyyye (🌨️ anonnie)

HOLY FUCK

[disaster-writer]

Poison (Part 1/4)

Pairing: Alpha!Bokuto Koutarou x Beta!Reader

Summary: You loved love, but it wasn’t made for you… but maybe a certain Alpha could change your mind

Word Count: 5.8k

A/N: MSBY Black Jackals time period

AU: Omegaverse

“I don’t care about your presentation. It shouldn’t matter whether or not you’re a Beta and I’m an Alpha— I love you for you and not because of my biology—“

”Fucking liar,” you grumbled glaring holes into your tv, “You only love her cause it’s in the fucking script,” you grumbled once more, shoving the Valentine’s chocolate you had bought for yourself into your mouth.

”Hmmm… and you say this is your favorite movie because….?”

Your eyes snapped to your laptop, wide open and displaying your younger sister.

Truthfully you were sure every single person in the world would find you to be quite the pathetic display right now. In the midst of February, crying about fake love stories while stuffing your face with heart shaped chocolates, and talking to your sister that had to make time out of her busy school schedule just to hang out with you over FaceTime. Not to mention your hair was a wreck and you looked like you had been awake for days.

But at the age of 24 you stopped caring about the optics long ago… plus no one was ever here to pity you anyway.

”Because it’s a beautiful fucking love story about a Beta finding true love,” another chocolate down the hatch.

”Isn’t the actress an Omega in real life?” She snorted.

”Yeah and you can tell no Betas worked on this film cause they got so much shit wrong. Like how would she be able to tell he was pissed off in that one scene by his scent? We can’t smell that shit,” you ranted, throwing a piece of chocolate at the tv. Out of the corner of your eye you could see your cat walking up and sniffing the chocolate before batting it away. “They also make her too submissive.”

She hummed absentmindedly, filling in one of the answers in her homework, ”Well what do you expect? You guys only make up like, what— 2 percent of the population?”

”Maybe if you Omegas and Alphas didn’t fuck like bunnies, we wouldn’t be dying out.”

”Hey!” Your sister yelped, looking up from her homework, “Mom told you not to say stuff like that anymore!”

You grumbled something to yourself, sinking further down against the foot of your bed and into the carpet, “Sorry.”

“God I can’t wait for February to be over,” she muttered going back to her homework.

”At least I don’t bother you with this year round now. If I’m destined to die alone I can take one month out of the year to be insufferable.”

”Oh sis, you need some serious help.”

”That’s what the chocolates are for,” you say through a mouthful, “Ah! Don’t eat that Mochi!”

From your sister’s perspective she sees you suddenly leap out of frame giving her a view of the dance pole you had installed in your room— a secret you made sure both your sisters would take to the grave just so your parents wouldn’t find out. And just behind that she could faintly make out the shelves upon shelves of anime figurines you collected in the dim light of your room that was only illuminated by the TV and your laptop. You returned seconds later with a cat in your arms.

She sweat dropped. She loves you with her entire heart but holy shit, you were becoming the stereotypical sad cat lady day by day.

”Tell me again why you can’t just go out with one of the million volleyball players you manage? Or what about the other guys on the other teams? I thought you said most of them don’t have mates?” She asked, putting her pencil down and finally giving you her undivided attention. “I’ve seen some of the pictures of the guys on your team too, they’re all hot.”

You groaned, throwing your head back against the foot of your bed, ”There’s so much wrong with that question I don’t even know where to start.”

”Enlighten me then,” she deadpanned.

”Okay, one, they’re like the most stereotypical Alphas you’ll ever meet— like the Alphas of Alphas, which means a Beta is probably the last person they’d ever date. Two, most of them are unmated for good reason, they’re professional athletes, they don’t have time for that. And three, they’re my co-workers, it’s not professional!” You exclaimed, throwing a fist in the air and causing Mochi to meow and squirm out of your hold.

She narrowed her eyes at your dramatics. “Is that all?” She asked sarcastically.

”There’s probably more— ah shit the movie’s over,” you said, noticing the credits beginning to roll.

”Thank God,” your little omega sister muttered, “It’s time for you to go to bed anyway.”

”Sleep is for the weak,” you grumbled, a pocky stick hanging out the corner of your mouth while searching for a new movie.

”Huh-uh sure it is. It’s 2am and don’t you have to get up at 6?”

”5. I’m going on a run to burn off all the chocolate.”

”You could just not eat it.”

”Funny.”

She rolled her eyes, “Anyway, Ne-Chan is going to your place tomorrow right?”

”Oh yeah, that’s right,” you muttered, forgetting about your older sister’s stay.

”Thank God, she can help you through tomorrows episode instead of me.”

”Bitch.”

She started closing her textbook, ”Ok I’m gonna—“

”Y’know tomorrow will be the first time I’m seeing any of you in like a year.”

”That’s cause you never visit.”

”Well you guys could come visit me too y’know?” You scoffed, picking at your cuticle.

”Nuh uh don’t pull that, we’re all here and you’re the one that wanted to run off and isolate herself after you started making bank as a manager.”

”Yeah whatever,” you grumbled.

”I’m gonna go to bed now,” she hummed, “And you should too.”

You only grunted in response.

”Love ya, talk to you later,” she waved.

”Love you—“ she hung up, “…too,” you ended with a sigh.

You took a second, staring at the blank screen and remembering just how lonely you felt now that you were by yourself before going back to scrolling through the movies once again.

* * * *

You jolted awake to the sound of your alarm that following morning.

You turned over, registered that it was 5am, turned off the alarm, and turned back around.

What were you thinking? A 5am run? The sun wasn’t even up yet. You weren’t like the weirdos you managed on the team. You’d much rather stick to your usual workout routine.

You fell back asleep.

You would actually wake up two hours later at 7am to go to work. The guys had a 8 am practice but you couldn’t spend the practice time with them anyway as you’d be locked away in your office all day. After their last tournament they had an influx of sponsors come in and now you had your hands absolutely full with that.

However, now with the sunlight filtering in through your curtains, you forced yourself awake and to get ready for the day.

You sat up, your bed head looking worse than it did when you fell asleep. Quickly glancing around the room with bleary eyes you saw the mess you had made. Wrappers, boxes, used tissues scattered everywhere, with your tv still on.

You sighed before forcing yourself to your feet, stirring your sleeping cat on your bed. You quickly gathered the garbage together and threw it out followed by turning off the tv. 

You passed by your calendar, February 8th, only six more days until Valentine’s Day.

Your shoulders slumped as you dragged your feet over to your closet.

Truly you weren’t this desperate and pathetic all the time, it’s just this month that always seemed to get to you. 

Old habits die hard, you supposed.

Ever since you were a child you dreamed about growing up and getting married, you dreamed about falling in love and experiencing the type of love that completely electrified you and made your head dizzy, you dreamt about being held by a man that was completely crazy about you.

Maybe it was a bit naïve, but it’s what you always wanted.

But then you had to go and present as a Beta. 

You were the only Beta born to a completely traditional family. Your father was an alpha, your mother an omega, your two older brothers were both alphas, your older sister was an omega, and your younger sister was also an omega.

Turns out your great grandmother was a fucking Beta and that’s where the gene came from.

You also had no issue with being a Beta, the problem lied with the fact that Betas were so rare nowadays they were impossible to find, and other Betas would have been your dating pool. But now you were stuck feeling undesirable by both Alphas and Omegas who only wanted to mate with each other.

You slammed your closet open, a bit rougher than you intended and pulled out a pair of black slacks, a white button up, and your blazer. 

It wasn’t your typical dress attire everyday but your schedule was full of zoom meetings today with both sponsors and magazines. Any other day you would have been assisting the team during practice and dressed in one of your track suits.

You quickly stripped and dressed yourself for the day.

Now it also wasn’t as if you didn’t try within the field of love. You fought tooth and nail to experience any kind of romantic relationship but a girl could only take her confessions being rejected by Alpha after Omega after Alpha so many times. Not to mention being ditched on blind dates. For you the cumulative number that was your breaking point was thirty times. 

You loved love.

But it wasn’t made for you. 

After dressing, using the bathroom, brushing your teeth, and putting on your makeup and putting your hair in a tight bun, you headed to the kitchen to brew a cup of coffee in a to go cup before heading out the door to start your day.

The game plan for the day was to greet the team before hiding away in your office for the rest of the day. You’d meet with the CEO of Bouncing Ball on zoom followed by another sponsor you couldn’t remember but you were pretty sure it was some energy drink company. Then you’d start getting the schedule in order for the match against the Adler’s later this week. Following that you’d meet with two Sports magazines back to back to set up some interviews— speaking of interviews you also—

“Fuck,” you hissed on the train ride softly, immediately going through your bag for your agenda. The passenger next to you threw you an annoyed glance but you paid them no mind. “The press conference.”

You quickly wrote down in your agenda, that contained both your work and personal life schedules on one calendar, a reminder about that press conference that’s coming up. Then you quickly put it in your phone calendar as well.

Interviews and press conferences were a nightmare for you, between Hinata, Atsumu, and Bokuto you had your hands completely full with making sure they were in the right place at the right time because somehow they never were unless you had them all on tight leashes. 

Yeah maybe you didn’t have someone to love or love you back the way you wanted but you did have your career. And as much as they liked to drive you up a wall you did enjoy your job and your coworkers. On top of that you were still able to make a pretty decent life for yourself as you were completely independent and self sufficient, in fact you were able to send checks to help support your family now. Your apartment was basically an expensive suite that always looked immaculate due to the fact you were even able to afford a maid.

The train stopped and you got off. Now with some caffeine in your system there was more of a pep in your step. You knew that once you stepped a foot into the building you’d momentarily forget all your woes and instead act like the professional that you were as you threw yourself into your work. Your sister would be coming over later in the day and you had your Pilates class that night so you certainly had a full day ahead.

You headed straight for the gymnasium, stalking past your own office as you put a smile on your face.

Pushing the door open you headed straight towards the bench where Coach Samson and Meian were currently talking. You waved to Atsumu, Hinata, and Sakusa who were currently starting their warm ups, you assumed the rest to still be in the locker room.

You could immediately hear the squeaking of their sneakers on the flooring, the smell of salon-pas invading your nose. The ceiling was so much higher than the one of your old high school and the lights much brighter as well. 

”Good morning Samson-san, Meian-san,” you nodded towards them with a smile.

Samson returned your warm smile with one of his own, “Good morning (Y/N), you seem cheerful as always,”

”What’s not to be cheerful about?” You shrugged, “Anyways I went over your schedule yesterday, looks like you’ve got a full day of practice huh?”

”Yeah,” Meian answered, “It’s the Adlers, some of the guys are getting worked up about the upcoming match so we figured more practice wouldn’t hurt. God knows they’re gonna over practice anyway.”

”That is true,” you snorted.

”And you?” Samson asked, “You’re all dressed up again, stuck in more meetings?”

”That I am. Got some meetings with one of our sponsors and some new ones. Then I need to set up interviews with VolleyballWorld Mag and Sports Monthly— oh and we have that press conference on the 25th coming up but I’ll give you more details when that gets closer.”

Meian whistled lowly, “I’m glad I only have to do the playing, I’d lose my mind if I had your job.”

”Oh it’s not that difficult—“

”I thought we talked about not selling yourself short (Y/N),” Samson interrupted, “You’re the only manager I’ve dealt with that hasn’t lost a single sponsorship for this team. Not only that but you handle these knuckle headed Alphas so well I think they’d fall apart without you.”

You laughed at his comment and grinned, “I do appreciate the sentiment so thank you,” you nodded, “Now I only wanted to stop by and say hello, I have to prepare for the meetings now so I’ll head out. I’ll be in my office all day if you need anything.” You began turning around, waving at the two, “Good luck with practice today—“

”(Y/N)-CHAAAAAN!!”

Your shoulders immediately tensed, your eyes widening, “Oh fuck—“

Suddenly you had the air knocked out of you as you were quite literally swept off your feet by a much larger force, now being rocked side to side in the Alphas embrace as he squeezed you against his chest.

”Bokuto-san,” you managed to wheeze out, “I thought we discussed this?”

You could instantly feel him deflate, “We did…”

”And what did we say?”

”No hugging Miss Manager.”

”And why?”

”Because it’s unprofessional.”

You waited a beat for him to react but he didn’t, “That means put me down Bokuto-san.”

A second later you were back on your feet.

You huffed, straightening out your blazer and ignoring the dejected look on Bokuto’s face. After working with him for so long it was quite easy at this point. You patted his arm.

”Thank you. Always a pleasure Bokuto-san, good luck with practice—“

”You’re not staying!?” He suddenly exclaimed.

“You do realize her job isn’t just handing out towels and water bottles right?” Meian asked.

”Yeah but… Beta-chan hasn’t been to practice in ages!”

”That’s because you guys keep doing so well. The more sponsors you get the busier I become. Now you really should get to practice, it’s almost 9 now.” You said, checking your watch, “And don’t worry, I’ll be attending practice again before you know it.”

You were just about to turn and leave before Bokuto stopped you again.

“Wait! I have something for you!”

You watched in slight annoyance as Bokuto ran off to his bag and shuffled through it. Seconds later he was pulling out a black fabric and a Tupperware and then running back to you.

At this point the entirety of the team was watching whatever shit Bokuto was onto now.

”I found your jacket!” He pushed the fabric towards you.

”Oh?” You accepted it, quite surprised, “I dunno how you found one of my things again but thank you… actually I dunno how I keep losing it,” you muttered under your breath.

”And this is for you!” He exclaimed once again, handing you the container in his hand.

”Huh… Another bento?” You asked peculiarly as you looked through the container before you sighed, “I thought we talked about this as well Bokuto-san? You can’t be giving me gifts all the time it’s not—”

”Professional! I know! But I didn’t make them for you this time! I made it for me and these are left overs!”

You sweat dropped at his explanation, “Bokuto-san that’s the same thing. I can’t accept this.” Suddenly Bokuto deflated, like he always did when you declined his gifts.

You then glanced behind him at Meian who just nodded his head towards Bokuto.

You sighed.

”Alright fine,” instantly he perked up, as you took the container, “But I’m telling you you can’t keep doing this. Now go practice, I’ll try to stop by later if I can.”

With that you were spinning around on your heel, heading out of the gymnasium with your sweater and the Tupperware in hand.

Behind you Bokuto stood proudly with his hands on his hips as if he accomplished something just now.

The rest of the team stared at the scene with quite exhausted faces. This kind of show was so typical now, it came as no surprise.

“How many days does that make now?” Atsumu scoffed, leaning back into his stretch once again.

“Fuck if I know anymore,” Sakusa grumbled back.

”HEY HEY HEYYY!” 

“At least he’s in a good mood!” Hinata chirped as Bokuto ran at full speed towards them.

”Did’ya see that!? She accepted my gift!—“

”Bokuto!” Samson suddenly snapped, “Stop talking and start stretching!”

”Right!” He held a thumbs up at his coach, causing the older man to roll his eyes, before joining his teammates on the ground to stretch as well.

”She also hesitated before accepting it and told ya to stop again,” Atsumu said.

”Yeah but I think I’m making progress,” Bokuto grinned happily, “She’ll be my mate in no time!”

”It’s been nearly a year Bokuto,” Sakusa muttered.

”And how was that any different from what usually happens anyway?” Inunaki called out to them after overhearing the conversation.

”Because! That makes the 52nd time she’s accepted one of my gifts and only the 49th time she’s rejected it! And she didn’t give me penalties for hugging her this time.”

”Only?” Sakusa sweat dropped, honestly he envied how blissfully stupid Bokuto could be at times.

”If she hasn’t done anythin’ about ya courtin’ her then she doesn’t know yer courtin’ her!” Atsumu snapped in frustration, “Ignore yer stupid instincts for once and ask her out already!” Clearly he was the most annoyed with watching this show drag on for this long already. Yeah, maybe it was funny in the beginning but now Bokuto’s stupid Alpha behavior and your own obliviousness as a Beta was becoming painful to watch.

”Maybe Bokuto’s right!” Hinata butted in, “She seems to be a lot more accepting of his hugs now!”

”That’s cause she’s used to it,” Inunaki snickered. “Also whatever happened to the idea that Bokuto is also probably not her type?”

”Whaddya mean not her type? I’m everyone’s type!”

”Yeah I’m sure she likes you for your modesty,” Sakusa muttered sarcastically under his breath.

”Why wouldn’t I be her type?” Bokuto asked, seriously looking like he was trying to rack his brain for the answer.

”Well because, she’s so…” Inunaki trailed off, “Professional. And you’re…”

”You don’t think I’m professional enough for (Y/N)-chan?”

As if on cue, everyone snorted as if he just told a joke.

”You too Hinata?”

”I mean… (Y/N)-chan she’s… very…”

”Any day now,” Sakusa grumbled.

”Serious! That’s the word! She’s very serious about her job while you’re a lot more fun!”

Bokuto frowned as if he was offended, “You don’t think (Y/N)-chan is fun?”

”And you do?” Inunaki asked surprised. “None of us know anything about her. She doesn’t even go to the celebratory dinners or team bondings— we’ve never even seen her in her casual clothes.”

“That’s a good point,” Atsumu agreed, “She’s not on any social media either and she only ever talks to any of us when it has to do with volleyball— she’s like a fuckin’ NPC. Ya know nothin’ about the Beta, how’d she even manage to get ya wrapped around her finger like this?”

Bokuto stared at the gym floor and had that look in his eyes that his teammates knew too well at this point, “You’re wrong about her—“ he looked up at his teammates, “There’s more than that to Miss Manager! I know it— it’s like in her scent! And when I find out you’ll all see you were wrong!”

”So dramatic,” Sakusa said, “You keep saying this shit but she still doesn’t even know you’re interested in her.”

”Yeah, cause he won’t just fuckin’ ask her out!” Atsumu exclaimed.

”You say that now but just wait until she realizes what I did with her jacket!”

Atsumu looked at Bokuto in horror, “The fuck did ya do with her jacket?”

“I washed it with my laundry, scented it, and slept with it in my bed for a week!” He exclaimed proudly, Atsumu’s innuendo completely going over his head, “Now she’s bound to know I’ve been scenting her!”

The others, even Hinata, stared at Bokuto dumbfounded as they watched him close his eyes with a stupid grin on his face, clearly visualizing what he thought would be the moment you realized he scented you.

”I don’t know how many more times we have to say this to you,” Sakusa said, “But Beta noses don’t work that way. If anything she’s just gonna think her jacket smells like a man, I doubt she’s familiar with your specific scent at all considering she’s always around us when she does see you.”

Bokuto deflated.

”Ya know what will get her to finally notice ya?” Atsumu asked.

Bokuto perked up again.

”If ya just asked her out already!”

* * * *

You stalked into your office, the door slamming shut behind you.

You dropped the container Bokuto gave you onto your desk, placed the coffee cup down, draped your jacket behind your chair, dropped your bag onto the ground, and finally you sank into your seat with a sigh.

A smell wafted around your nose and you immediately knew it was your jacket as you sunk deeper into your seat.

It smelled like a fucking man.

”Seriously? Was it rolling around in the locker room or something?” You grumbled to yourself.

You still had an hour before your meeting with the CEO for Bouncing Ball. 

Now you could go over some notes and brush up on anything you’ve might’ve forgotten but Kenma Kozume was probably the most laid back sponsor you’ve ever dealt with and you knew your extensive knowledge about his company and all your business dealings wasn’t as impressive as it was to most other CEO’s.

And also, you didn’t want to study anyway.

You glared daggers at the container which held the lunch Bokuto made. You already made your own lunch for the day so maybe you’d give to your sister when you got home.

You glared harder at the container. “Left overs my ass,” you grumbled. There looked to be three servings of food in there.

You didn’t know why Bokuto was so persistent when it came to giving you food but if he was this generous with you then you knew he was going to make some lucky Omega out there very happy. 

“Lucky bitch,” you muttered just thinking about this metaphorical Omega. “… I wonder what Mochi is doing now?”

Before you knew it ten o’clock had rolled around and you found yourself entering the waiting room for your meeting with Kenma.

And just as you had expected, you weren’t accepted until a half hour later.

”Sorry I’m late,” Kenma muttered, clearly looking at whatever was on his computer screen than the zoom meeting. “I lost track of my stream.”

”No worries,” you hummed, “I was able to get some other work done in the meantime.”

”I’m gonna keep this brief,” more words that didn’t surprise you, “I wanted to talk to you about giving MSBY more money.”

You blinked in shock, back straightening up as you processed his words, “You want to give more, but you already give—“

”I know how much,” he hummed, “But I want to give more.”

”Oh well— thank you. Let me just grab my books and I’ll adjust a few things,” you said, immediately reaching for one of your binders that was placed neatly in your bottom drawer. “How much do you—“

”Double.”

Your jaw fell open briefly, but you quickly regained your composure, “Alright well— that’s- that’s great news. Amazing even. That’ll help pay for the repairs in the gym and then some. Thank you Kenma.”

”You’re welcome,” he hummed absentmindedly, “Tell Shouyou I said ‘Hi,’”

”Of course, as always,” you nodded, “Should I tell Bokuto you said hi as well?”

You could see a slight smirk on Kenma’s lips, “No.”

“Very well,” you snickered. Kenma didn’t seem like the type but you had come to realize he liked fucking with people sometimes.

”Feel free to tell Samson you negotiated for this deal.”

”I would if I could but everyone knows you don’t give anything to anyone unless you want to.”

He shrugged, “I suppose.”

”So was that the only matter you wanted to discuss for today?”

”Yeah. You have that meeting down with my advertisement team for the fifteenth right?”

You glanced down at your large desk calendar which as opposed to your agenda in your bag and your phone calendar only had your work schedule. 

“Yup, right here. Will you be in attendance?”

”No, I trust you when it comes to dealing with them.”

You snickered once more, “Isn’t that supposed to be the other way around?”

Kenma glared sourly at his screen, “You would think but some of those guys are becoming more and more incompetent with each day.”

”Well then I’ll be looking forward to that meeting,” you joked, “But if that’s all, I’ll leave you be. And good luck with tonight’s stream.”

”Thanks. Don’t lead Bokuto on too much today—“

”Huh?—“

”Goodbye.”

He hung up.

”Fucking CEO’s,” you muttered under your breath.

* * * *

The day had progressed quite smoothly. You had managed to get everything with the sponsors clarified and confirmed. You scheduled all the interviews that needed scheduling and on top of that you were even able to smooth over some of the details concerning the press conference at the end of the month.

Practice had ended hours ago now, you knew because Bokuto tried sticking his nose in your business as usual before Meian forced him to go home so you could work.

But now you were finally finished and packing up for the day. You shoved everything you needed into your bag, even your blazer since you’d much rather wear your jacket in this weather. You inspected it further and it had looked clean, it just very obviously smelled like the volleyball players. You’d just throw it in the wash when you did laundry later that week. 

You then shoved the bento in your bag as well before taking off for the night.

Your sister was already at your place. She had texted you around noon and had let herself in with the key you hid outside for her.

So really, you should have expected the impact when you were suddenly pinned to the ground the moment you stepped into your apartment.

”(Y/N)!!!” Your older sister had screeched above your face as your bag and its contents went flying across the room. The door was still wide open, letting the sunlight and cold air filter in over the two of you.

”You bitch!” You yelped back, before quickly flipping the two of you over so you had her pinned instead. She struggled under you but you had always been stronger than her. “You’re too old to still be greeting me like this!”

”I’m 26! Stop acting like I’m on my death bed!” She yelped, still struggling.

“Why haven’t you visited sooner! It’s been a year you whore!”

”Why haven’t you visited us back home! Sending checks every month to mom and dad doesn’t count as visiting!”

You glared at her. 

Her hair was longer now and she of course still looked as beautiful as ever.

You loved her dearly but growing up in her shadow, the most popular and beautiful Omega girl in your high school with a scent that had literally pushed multiple Alphas into ruts and even made one pass out once… well it was difficult.

You remember a cruel joke about you back in high school about how your sister was the one that got confessed to by all the Alphas and how you were always the one that had to do the confessing.

But you haven’t internalized this at all.

Of course not.

Her hair fanned out behind her, her skin was bright and glowy, her canines which were sharper than most (and also made her look like a cute little kitten according to most Alphas) poked out from behind her giant smile.

But her face suddenly screwed up in surprise as all the joy disappeared from her features which were now overshadowed by a seriousness you weren’t used to seeing her wear.

”You smell like Alpha.”

You blinked at her owlishly. “Yeah I was at work all day dummy.”

”No, no.” She suddenly sat up, pushing you back to sit up as well. She leaned in and took a deep whiff of your jacket, “You like, reek of Alpha.”

”I kinda lost this jacket a week ago and I’m convinced it was rolling around in the gym,” you offered as some explanation to the smell.

”No you idiot,” she flicked your forehead, making you wince, “You smell like one singular Alpha— are you hiding something from me?” She suddenly accused.

You scoffed, a sudden heat crawling up your neck and face as you stood up abruptly, shut the door, and kicked your heels off.

”I have no idea what the hell you’re insinuating,” you grumbled, walking over to your bag and shoving everything back in, besides the bento which you left out to put in the kitchen.

Throwing your bag on your couch, you stalked into the kitchen with your sister hot on your heels causing her skirt to sway behind her.

”Are you seeing someone?”

You stopped short, and abruptly spun on your heel to face her to which she almost crashed into you. “That’s— that’s a completely r-ridiculous question!” You spluttered, face now on fire. “And if I was, you know I’d never keep it to myself!”

Your sister tapped her chin and looked up in thought, contemplating your statement, “Hmmm… that is true…. But I’m telling you little sis, you seriously stink of Alpha right now. Like so much it’s kind of ridiculous.”

”And I’m telling you it’s just cause it got lost in the gym—“

”Oh please, I’m not buying that. You know my sense of smell is much sharper than yours so you should just listen to me.”

You clenched your jaw and ignored your thundering heartbeat resonating in your ears, “Like… so… what exactly does it smell like then?” You tried to question nonchalantly, crossing your arms and busying your fingers with a strand of hair. The thought that some Alpha scented you, that someone was interested in you was flustering you in a way no romance movie ever could.

She grinned knowingly, “Well whoever it is, they’re strong as hell— I must say that that’s probably one of the strongest scents I’ve smelled, like Ushiwaka levels strong—“

“I told you to never say that name again,” you suddenly snapped to which she just waved off. 

“Will you please get over that, you’re twenty fucking four now.” You clenched your jaw and pursed your lips, silently seething at your sister. “Anyways, whoever it is must have a big personality too, like I feel like his scent is giving your jacket more presence than both of ours put together— oooh what’s that!” She suddenly pointed at the bento box.

She always did have the attention span of a flee… especially when it came to food.

You looked down at the meal, “Oh, someone at work gave it to me today. You can have it if you want.” You then turned and opened your refrigerator to put it away.

”Hold up,” she grabbed your shoulder and forced you to face her again, “Someone at work? As in one of the million Alphas you work with?”

“Why do you and little sis both think I work with a million Alphas?” You rolled your eyes.

”Answer the question.”

”Yeah. It was one of them. So what? He said they were leftovers.”

”(Y/N),” she said your name seriously.

”What…?”

”That Alpha that gave you that. He’s courting you.”

You were pretty sure you stopped breathing at those words. You could practically hear the fax machine noises as you tried to comprehend the meaning of that statement.

”Bokuto-san… courting?” No. “Stop being stupid,” you hissed, slamming the refrigerator shut and stomping past her now.

He was just overly friendly with everyone. And someone like Bokuto with his big and shining personality, the kind of Alpha that made Omegas swoon when even getting a hint of whatever scent he had that your Beta nose couldn’t pick up (you’ve even witnessed it). Someone that strong and powerful would want an Omega. You’ve even heard from his teammates that he purely ran on instinct— why would his instinct tell him to court a Beta.

”I don’t know who this Bokuto is but I’m telling you he’s courting you.”

”He isn’t,” you hissed with finality. Your sister immediately straightened up. It was an underhanded trick but you realized long ago that Omegas would even listen to Betas with the right tone. “Drop the subject because you’re starting to piss me off. Alphas like him don’t like people like me alright? Now I’m going to get changed, we’re gonna watch movies together, and then I’m gonna drag your ass to take my Pilates class with me. Understood?”

There was a sour look on her face but she nodded, “… yeah, alright.” You walked upstairs, ignoring her when you overheard her muttering, “I don’t see why I need to take your dumb class with you though…”

* * * *

Part 2

[sandyca5tle]

Slime HRT - 24 Months

Well, these past couple months have been hell, with a light at the end of the tunnel that I’ve now reached, but still. Anyway, on with the show…

So, before I get into the really gritty stuff, my jaw and teeth were converted pretty early on, as well as my ear bones. The former were a little funky, but honestly nothing really changed there, since I already don’t need to chew things, losing my teeth was no big deal, and for the latter, there was a small blip in my hearing - for a few minutes - but then it came back, honestly better than before. I wasn’t super worried about the hearing loss, particularly after eyes taste and smell, only how long I'd be deaf for, but fortunately, as I said, it really wasn't a problem. I’m pretty sure that my slime has just replaced my inner ear’s function innately, and since hearing is just interpreted vibrations, and slime is pretty good at vibrating. What was and has been nice is the cat ears I made a few months back can now actually function, which took a little getting used to, but my hearing is super good now, if a little overwhelming at times.

Right, on to the less pleasant parts: Remember how in the last update I said that apparently you know when your brain goes, yeah, that’s true, and it’s ‘cause it’s genuinely the most painful, disorienting, and scary thing I have ever experienced. First of all, unlike a lot of other changes, it kinda just goes all at once - I think it’s a survival thing, the brain/core wouldn’t function while being half transformed, and it’d probably kill you if they tried to. Only issue is that this means that your brain basically dissolves over the course of a few hours, which is excruciating, and the weeks leading up to that absolutely suck as well.

The first thing I noticed was the pain - headaches, some of the worst I’ve ever had (which I know I’ve said a lot over the course of this, but I was fortunate before to have very little issues, and turns out transforming your whole body hurts). I tried to take some painkillers to help, but they don’t seem to work any more - not sure if it’s ‘cause my biology is so different now, or ‘cause my body breaks them down too well, but either way they don’t work, so I had to suffer through the pain.

Either on top of or because of the pain, I've had a general sense of disorientation. It started off as just sometimes getting a little turned around in games and the like, but it progressed to getting lost if I tried to go anywhere (which was compounded by some other stuff too). Frankly it's a good thing in the final days before my brain changed that I hurt too much to go anywhere, else I probably would have ended up somewhere entirely unknown at a really vulnerable stage in my transformation.

I also have had some memory issues while things have worked things out. My memory has never been amazing in the first place, but I started to get very forgetful, forgetting appointments, plans, even eating (I'd usually ‘remember’ when I started idly eating random things I had around, which has meant I've lost a few things, but I don't remember what so I'm keep finding things I need to replace). I’m also pretty sure I lost some older memories too, but it’s really hard to tell if that’s from normal forgetting or forgetting ‘cause my brain was becoming mush, it’s kinda scary not knowing. This is also part of what compounded my disorientation - when telling left from right is getting hard, forgetting where you're even meant to go or have come from only makes things worse. Also, try reforming yourself from a puddle when you barely remember what you were before… definitely had some interesting shapes recently. Honestly, it was terrifying, I actually didn't know if I'd ever be able to remember things again (obviously I can, but I didn't know that at the time, and my memory of that period are sketchy at best)

Of course, the pain I mentioned earlier made it hard to focus on things, but even beyond that my ability to focus seemed to vanish. I have been so easily distracted over the past couple of months. Genuinely a glint of light or something could completely draw my attention from whatever I was doing, and then I'd usually completely forget what I was doing, get distracted by something else and wonder off. I apparently walked off in the middle of so many games and videos and just any activity I was doing. Frankly it's a miracle that I have any notes, or remember enough to actually write this entry, I kinda spent most of this last month piecing together what I do remember and have notes of (the notes are not the most legible, worse than my normal handwriting which is awful anyways (there's a reason I type these updates)). 

On top of all this, I also had nightmares and hallucinations. The former sucked, but honestly asides from waking up in some weird shapes in attempts to either fight or defend myself from whatever was jumping me in the nightmare (assuming it was a monster one) they were over once I woke up. The hallucinations were worse, since they could appear at any time, and oh boy do they seem real. Sometimes they were small things, noises, or a shape in my periphery. Other times they were blurry, intimidating figures in the distance. And of course with my inability to focus on things, these hallucinations would only be another thing to distract my addled brain. The worst though, was waking up from a nightmare, a puddle unable to reform, and the nightmare continuing as a hallucination in the real world. That'd usually shake me up for a day - and annoyingly my memory issues didn't really seem to extend to them. I'm still working out what was real and fake from that time, and it has not been easy, or fun. My ‘brain’ feels like goddamn soup whenever I think about that time. 

On top of everything else, sometimes I'd faint. Sometimes due to pain, other times (particularly towards the end of the transformation) I'd just keel over, only to wake up in a puddle of myself. It was really disconcerting and scary… kinda felt like my brain was just cutting out, and I was a little scared it might not cut back in at some point… and of course that’s one of the things I remember clearly, the fear and worry of that - very clear that the ‘remember bad shit’ survival instinct was and still is functioning, as annoying as that is.

Since I don't particularly want to linger on those thoughts more than I already have, an interesting thing to note is that even through all of this, my actual mental faculties didn't diminish - while I was forgetful and distracted, if I managed to make myself, I found myself just as capable as before. I partially did this to help assure myself I wasn't losing myself, but also because, let's be honest, slimes aren't known for being the brightest bunch, and I've been a little worried this whole time that I'd get dumber or something. The pamphlet I was given didn't really say anything about this happening, but I know from trans hrt that the information your given doesn't always include every possible effect (I know it certainly failed to mention the attention issues during the most recent stage, and the blindness from before) 

But, despite last month being basically the worst month of my life, I have survived, albeit a little scrambled, and I'm slowly putting everything back together. And of course, now, there's nothing human left in me! I'm all slime!!! (It makes me so unbelievably happy to be able to say that now).

Interestingly, unlike everything else, my brain hasn't fully gone, instead I ended up with what I quickly realised is a slime core! For those unfamiliar, slimes can have a core, which is essentially like their brain/major organ inside them, usually looking like a small coloured sphere. While slimes are usually pretty hard to damage permanently, damage done to a slimes core can be very debilitating, like heart, brain, or lung damage for humans and stuff. 

I actually think I had a kind of proto-core before hand, but didn't notice it, and I think it came around about when my digestive system was changed, since I think my core manages matter-to-slime conversion (I'm guessing this ‘cause that's improved since my core has now fully formed). I guess I didn’t spy it before ‘cause it was too small or something?

On that note, my core is/looks like, interestingly, a kind of verdant green gem. It mostly just seems to float inside of my goo, although I can move it around my body wherever I like, but I tend to keep it either right in the middle of my torso, or in the middle of my chest (at least in human form). Both areas have a decent amount of goo protecting my core, and it looks neat to have it there. 

It does actually look really pretty, especially when taken outside of my body (don't worry, it can be taken out of my body, so long as it remains in contact with my goo I'm completely fine), and yeah, just kinda looks like a funky green stone/gem. I am curious as to why it's green, and I'm kinda hoping it's gonna boost the efficiency of my photosynthesis, and that it's green ‘cause of chlorophyll, but I don't honestly know yet, need some nice sunny days to properly test it out. 

I did find out that if my core does become separated from my goo, I can just reform another body from stored goo around the core, leaving the old body to fall (but I can just reabsorb it afterwards to maintain mass). Oh, and before anyone worries that I was being reckless, I made sure to check that I wouldn't die before I tested anything.

On the note of stored goo, it seems like excess goo/matter is stored in the core, like fat in humans. I'm not sure what or if there's a limit or what happens if I try to eat too much, but as far as I've gotten for now, it seems to be fine. I have noticed that I actually seem lighter now, I still seem to weigh about as much as I look like I should (maybe slightly over) and as such it changes if I make myself grow bigger, but not really if I eat things. I'm not entirely sure quite what's going on there, as that seems like some physics defying shit, but it's actually super useful, means I can store as much mass as I'd like and not break the sofa when I sit down. 

So asides from all of those experiences and changes, I've found a couple other things that have sprung up from these changes. Firstly, I've found that my body feels much more coherent, I'm very much now one gelatinous entity, rather than bits of one and bits of another. Movement feels much more fluid now, especially outside of a humanoid form (not that I've gotten worse at being humanoid, just better at everything else) and I honestly find myself kind of hot swapping between slime ball and slime girl as I need/feel like it. Also navigating crowds is super easy now, just kinda slipping and moving between any gaps (I could kinda do this before, but again, now it feels so second nature). On top of this, my multitasking seems to have improved. I still can’t say one thing while writing another, but I've gotten better at physical multitasking; I struggle less coordinating my ‘hands’ when I try playing the piano for example (I still can't play it, but I've got more of the coordination for it). Add in that I can very easily have several limbs/pseudopods/whatever you want to call them at once (which is honestly why I think my multitasking has improved, it's to facilitate control of the numerous structures I can now produce) and it’s become very easy to manage multiple, physical, tasks at once. 

One thing I have noticed myself doing, almost subconsciously (and honestly, this might've started a little before now, but I'll talk about it here, since I've really noticed it now), I'll just adjust my body however I need in the moment. Now, this may sound kind of obvious, but it's a little funky (but mostly neat) to just suddenly grow an extra limb, or pseudopod to hold or grab something quickly, or to just adjust my mass to better balance or manage something. Again, very neat, but a little funky to realise when I didn't consciously think about it. 

Relatedly, shaping has become easier, not sure if that's due to practise, or having a more compatible neurological centre, but I seem to be able to shape myself quicker, and I seem to have gained a better memory for shape too, the latter is definitely due to recent changes, or at least, definitely due to the treatment.

I've  also still been working on my acid control, which feels like it's gotten easier, but again I can't say whether that's from practice or the recent changes, but I can at least somewhat reliably keep an area of my body acid free now for a bit.

Unrelated to the treatment, but I'm actually much shorter now, at least in my humanoid form, clocking in at around 4’4”(slime ball form has remained the same size, at around 30cm tall). I always liked the idea of being really small, and I can now, and it's not like it really offers any disadvantages, since I can just reach tendrils up to grab things from high up (with eyes/vision so I can see what I'm doing), plus it means I have more spare slime to spend on other, more fun things than just being tall. This all being said, the idea of using all my slime to become really big also has its appeals, but it's less practical for day to day life. 

To touch on one final thing, I definitely don't feel human anymore. I'm a slime, through and through, humanity is just a memory. I've mentioned before feeling more and more detached from humanity (if I ever felt truly attached) as this process has gone on, but now that I'm seemingly done, I don't feel human at all. Interestingly, I find this aspect has been remarkably similar to gender transition, with the feeling of being a guy slowly fading away until it seemed alien to think of myself as one, which kinda feels like where I'm at at the moment. I'll likely catch myself still including myself in humanity from time to time for a while, but I can safely say I'm a slime, and I am so happy I can now. So that’s what my life has been for the last couple of months, and while parts sucked - like, really sucked - the end result is so unbelievably worth it. While this feels like the end of slime hrt, I do have an appointment planned with the doc to talk about my next step and hopefully get myself onto shapeshifter hrt, so my next update will probably be about that. See y’all then!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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Tag list below cut (lmk if you want to be added)

@calliecwrites, @friedsputnik, @now-entering-the-goop-zone, @scrubbinn, @lilacinthefog

@mint-and-authoress, @losttodreams, @redroversendjayover, @ariathelamia, @kanithedemoncat

[k20spock]

Gecko’s list of free video games you should play right now

Hi I’m gecko I like video games and I like not paying 60 dollars for them so here’s a list of some free games I’ve unearthed and liked. Enjoy

(most of these are small, more obscure games made by a few people or even just one person, so support the creators if you can!! Some of these do have a pay what you want model)

Hikeback (Itch.io) 

You see a hitchhiker flagging you down during a long, lonely drive through the countryside. No matter how you choose to handle the situation, you end up back on that road. And then again. And again. And again, until you find a way to escape a loop of violence and self-sabotage. Hikeback is a visual novel inspired by the fable of the frog and the scorpion, and it takes about an hour to reach the ending. It’s available on Windows, Mac, Linux, and browser, and there’s a detailed list of content warnings on the game’s itch.io page. One of my strongest recommendations, Hikeback is an incredible experience, and it was made in only ten days!!

Purrgatory (Itch.io) (Steam)

Find ways to pass the time in an inexplicably cat-themed but otherwise pretty dull afterlife, and befriend its other inhabitants. Purrgatory can hit hard when it wants to, but it’s mostly a relaxed point and click game that takes about a few hours if you want the true ending (which you do). And also I really don’t like recommending things going “it’s rep!!” and not elaborating on what the thing is actually about, but Purrgatory does have a mostly explicitly LGBT+ cast and Korean characters by a Korean artist. It’s been a few years since I played Purrgatory, but I remember it was an incredible experience, and since then, even more people can play it because it’s been fully translated into Spanish and Simplified Chinese! It’s available on Windows and browser.

How Fish is Made (Itch.io) (Steam)

How Fish is Made includes incredible retro-style graphics, a sardine flopping around in a machine with a choice to make, a singing, cane-wielding, tophat-wearing, tongue-eating parasitic isopod, and a free expansion/trailer for the studio’s next game that’s like if Katamari Damacy was evil and also had fish in it. That’s the best I can do for a summary. How Fish is Made is available on Windows and takes about 30-45 minutes, but will itch your brain for much longer.

Stop Burying Me Alive, Beautiful (Itch.io)

A visual novel in which you are stuck between trying to convince your girlfriend you are not dead and she should stop burying you alive, and playing rat-themed card games with a woman you find living underground. The game doesn’t always do a great job walking the line between comedy and horror, but there’s some strong writing depicting a failing relationship and very strong artwork that makes this an easy recommendation. Stop Burying Me Alive, Beautiful is on Windows, Mac, Linux, and browser, and takes about half an hour. 

Caper in the Castro (Internet Archive)

Ok this one is pretty different, but fuck it, it was originally released for free in 1989 (with a recommendation to make a donation to charity instead) and is still free so I’m including it. Not enough people are aware that you can play the first known video game by and about gay people on your computer right now for free and it has that classic adventure game bullshit sometimes but it’s extremely playable and also funny as shit. Like it’s not just cool history it’s actually fun (sorry Gayblade). You play as a lesbian private detective named Tracker McDyke looking for your missing drag queen friend and you can get most of the doors in the game open by shooting them. People have made full walkthroughs for this game and how to get it working if you have trouble so there’s no excuse. Play Caper in the Castro.

Under a Star Called Sun (Itch.io) (Liminal Magazine)

A browser game made in Bitsy that’s extremely simple and only a few minutes long, but that’s all it needs to create a succinct, gut-wrenching depiction of grief. 

Hotel Infinity (Itch.io)

If you need more short Bitsy games you can play in your browser that are about death, you’re out of luck after this because I’ve only got the two. Hotel Infinity is more lighthearted, tasking you with checking in on your ghostly hotel guests, and helping one check out. It’s simple, but sweet and affecting. 

Water Womb World (Itch.io)

Back to marine life-themed horror. Water Womb World is about a man’s obsessive search for the Garden of Eden leading him to the bottom of the ocean. There’s a few brief moments of annoyance in the gameplay, but the atmosphere and visuals are fantastic. Fantastic enough I bought the shirt, because I like cool shirts. It's available for Mac and Windows, and takes about 15 minutes. 

Hyperhell (Itch.io) (Steam)

A rogue-like bullet hell with a hyperpop soundtrack. It’s a mess, but in a good way. A run can (allegedly, I am not very good at bullet hells and I wasn’t able to get all the way to the end) be under ten minutes, but the game is very replayable with its different characters, weapons, bosses, and DDR and fishing minigames. You might have heard of this one already because maia has a cameo in it, but it really is a fun, if slightly painful for your eyes, time. It’s available on Windows.

Magicafe HD (Itch.io)

Under a technicality, I haven’t played this one yet, but that’s because I played the original text-based version of this game and I didn’t know the dev had converted it to a full visual novel until right now when I went to recommend the original. I’m certain this version is even better! It’s a cute, simple visual novel about a girl trying to get to her job at a magical girl themed cafe, while dealing with the struggles of secretly also being an actual magical girl. Available on Windows, and lasts about half an hour. The original is available on browser here if you’re interested. 

Dedz0ne (Itch.io)

Ok, wrapping up on a weird one since this isn’t really a universal recommendation. Dedz0ne is a Yume Nikki/Splatoon fangame inspired by Dedf1sh’s backstory and the atmosphere of Octo Expansion in general. It came out before Side Order so it’s not accurate to it, but it’s a really neat game with great visuals and atmosphere. It’s available on Windows

And that’s it for now. There will probably be a sequel someday because I am unable to stop digging through free games. Or maybe a collection of not free but extremely cheap games (like under five bucks) I like. Who knows! I hope you found something that catches your eye here!

[crevicedwelling]

some centipede mouthparts from Scolopendra hainanum and Ethmostigmus trigonopodus. although the anatomy isn’t completely identical in function or form, it might surprise you to learn that centipedes eat a lot like humans do, with “teeth,” “lips,” and “tongues”!

in centipedes, the first pair of legs has been modified into venom-delivering forcipules (not a fang, so a centipede envenomation is properly a sting and not a bite). while the forcipules are used to kill and restrain prey, during feeding, they function like utensils to hold a meal in place.

the paired projections at the base of the forcipules are the coxosternal toothplates. I think they might help cut up armored prey, but haven’t been able to find a good description of their exact function. their shape varies between species, and the Scolopendra here has a smoother edge to the toothplates while the Ethmostigmus’ are more jagged and toothy.

above the toothplates, the two flat, soft, oval appendages are the first maxillae. they function like lips, keeping food inside the mouth when chewing, and covering the mandibles for protection when not.

the second maxillae are the longer, leglike pair of mouthparts that rest on top of the forcipule. they’re sort of like the centipede’s tongues, and shovel food into the mouth when the animal is eating. they’re also a centipede’s primary grooming tools, being coated with bristles, and centipedes will lick/brush themselves with the second maxillae to get clean (somewhere in between cat grooming itself and a car wash).

what you typically don’t see on a live centipede are the actual mandibles, since they’re hidden behind the first maxillae when at rest. this deceased Scolopendra hainanum with both maxilla 1 removed shows how small the centipede’s true jaws are compared to the rest of the head!

they’re serrated and sharp, being able to cut flesh and shell, and are a black color because they’re reinforced with minerals (the tips of the forcipules are also mineralized). when centipedes molt, they have to shed the outer exoskeletal layer of all these complex mouthparts, and while they try to eat as much of the exuvia as possible they often leave behind their old forcipules tips and mandibles because they’re so tough!

I’m using terminology from this paper, which is a helpful reference for standardized terms since different authors from different countries might not use the same word for a particular piece of centipede anatomy.

[whumpinthepot]

Hamster Interactive Story

Chapter 14. Questions

Prev - Masterlist

Content: Food mention, being trapped, emeto mention (in passing), infection mention (in passing), bugs, selective mutism and description of having a breakdown over it. Pet trope, giant/tiny, angst. Let me know if I forgot any. 

Pov: Hamster

Poll winner: (People sent in questions) 

ART, WRITING, AND POLL UNDER THE CUT!!

Info dump chapter we love to see it :)) also If you have any requests for the ending send them to me because im planning to end the story soon! 

—

“I know you don’t talk but… Can you talk? I mean physically. What's stopping you? Were you trained not to, or took a vow of silence, or what?” That is the first question Soap asks you, which catches you by surprise as you finish eating the last piece of grape. 

You breathe in deep, getting lost in thought on how you could possibly answer him. It's not that you can’t physically talk if you need to but… Something always stops you when you try. Like a wall that you can’t climb over, blocking your voice and closing your throat up. It makes your chest hurt and your cheeks blaze hot. Even now when you think of vocalizing an answer your head spins and the urge to run away pulses in your legs. 

“Uhh, touchy subject or what?” Soap snaps you out of the panic and you’re startled by his voice. 

Or maybe it is that you can’t physically talk, seeing as how when you try, the urge to throw up is greater than the urge to say a simple word. You cover your mouth with a plump hand and shake your head vigorously. Maybe he’ll stop asking about it and you can happily stop trying to answer him. 

“Okay...” He sounds unimpressed, like he doesn’t believe you. 

In an attempt to change the subject you ask him a question next, choosing an equally invasive one at that. You point at his doll leg, and tilt your head. 

Soap sighs, leaning against the bars of his enclosure, but he does answer, “I was bit by a bug and it got infected. End of story. Sorry to disappoint, it wasn't a cat attack or anything fun like that.” 

Your eyes go wide, finding a new found fear of bugs. If any ended up in your cage you would simply pass away. Your body shivers the feelings out of you, and you point at his hair next. It's short now… 

Soap scoffs, “Your owner is to thank for that. Thanks a fucking lot, Ashley!” He yells in a random direction, which is funny because Ashley isn’t even here. You cover your smile with your hands, knowing he wasn’t trying to be humorous even if it came off that way. 

“Well? Got any more snacks?” He asks, “I’m stuck with these stupid dry pellets. Does she know that's not food? She’s trying to kill me in here.” 

You doubt that Ashley is trying to kill him, since she promised you that you could keep him as a new friend. You’ll happily give him more snacks, especially if that’ll make him happy! You smile and nod, leaving him again for several minutes to go back to your food dish to scavenge. 

You come back with an armful of finds, offering him a carrot slice, and some cheerios. You smile away at him as he gingerly takes them, finding him a lot less scary when he’s stuck in his enclosure. He can’t hurt you in there, and your dreams came true! You have a friend your own size now. 

Soap asks you another question while breaking the cheerio into more manageable pieces. “Is your name really Hamster? Like, that's the name you were born with? I somehow doubt that…” 

Your eyebrows crease, finding it odd how suspicious he is of you. His name is SOAP for heaven’s sake! You nod and shrug. Any name you had beforehand was just a placeholder. Hamster is your name now that's all that matters. You ask him the question back by pointing at him, hoping he’ll get the gist. 

“My name?” He asks. 

Oh good, he understood. 

“Of course it's my real name. Soap Scrub. I was named that because I slept in a soap dish as a baby. You wouldn’t know, but it’s a traditional way of naming in our culture. Or maybe you would- Hamster because you live in a hamster cage.” Now he thinks he’s humorous and smirks at you. 

You don’t get the joke, because it's true and makes sense. You just nod. It's cool learning about Tinies culture. You sit down criss-cross on the counter so you can listen to him more, resting your hands on your chin. 

“Where did you even come from?” Soap’s question has underlining skepticism, and he rattles out a few options for you to say yes or no to. “Were you captured like me?” 

You shake your head. Feeling kind of bad for him.

“Alright. I wouldn’t expect you to understand why I’m so pissed then,” he huffs. “Let's see. Born into the family? Ashley’s family I mean. Obviously.” 

You shake your head again. Trying to picture Ashley as a little kid. Would she have been a kid when you were? You don’t know how old anyone is so you guess it doesn’t really matter. 

“Bought at a… Pet store?” Soap lowers his voice, his shoulders squared with discomfort. 

You suppose that's a good enough answer, even if the truth is warped a bit. You nod. You came from Ashley’s work at a pet facility! 

“God…” Soap shifts uncomfortably and looks away from you for a minute. He seems drained from this question game. You’re not, however, and wave at him so you can ask him the same thing back. Pointing at him yet again with a hopeful smile. 

“Where did I come from?” His voice is strained and he brushes back his lack of hair. “Somewhere normal. A normal family, a normal life, something you wouldn’t understand.” 

He is trying to hurt your feelings. You just don’t understand why. You frown at him with a pouty lip. 

“Don’t give me that. You’re clearly not locked up, so why do you stay with her? Are you scared of her? Now that you can see you don’t have to be stuck with her. I could… We could leave… Together if you wanted. If you help me out of here.” 

He is trying to bait you, but his words hold a sort of desperation that struck a chord. You love Ashley. It would break her heart if you left her. You couldn’t. You shake your head in defiance and turn away from him. Maybe this conversation is over. You should go back to your cage and leave him alone. 

Just as you get up and start to walk away he yells after you, “Wait! Please-“ 

Then his voice lowers “I… I’m sorry. Don’t leave. I wanted to ask a few more questions… About tonight.” It’s clear in his tone that he’s scared. Maybe you’re not scared of Ashley, but he is. 

You give him another chance and walk back, waiting to hear him out. 

“Do you think she’ll make me do the photoshoot with you?” 

Ashley mentioned it before, so it makes sense that she would want to include him, but you’re not entirely sure if tonight is the night so you shrug. After all, the photoshoots slowed down when you had the cast on, and right now he’s covered in bandages. Still, you can’t promise anything. 

“Have you ever refused to do it?” His eyes are testing. Hopefully he isnt thinking of trying his hand at saying no to her. Ashley isn’t as forgiving with him… 

You have indeed refused to do them before, when you weren’t feeling well, but Ashley is always nice to you. You doubt the same results would show for Soap Scrub. 

Tentatively you nod your head. 

“And she let you?”

You nod your head. 

His brows crease. “Do you even like doing them? She’s playing with you like a doll…” 

You nod again after a pause at the strange retort. You love being a model! It’s so much fun, and beats being bored in your cage all day. 

He’s nervous and you don’t blame him. Though you’re unsure how to ease his nerves, so you sit with him and answer any questions you’re able to until Ashley comes home. Its then you go back to your cage so she’s not worried when she comes in. 

Ashley greets you and Soap when she comes into the kitchen, but otherwise leaves you alone until after dinner when its time for the photoshoot. 

Miraculously, Ashley doesn’t force soap into the shoot. She only has him watch so he can see what they’re like and what to expect. 

Its not for another week or two that she proposes the idea, and by then Soap has seemed to have accepted his position, from what you can tell. He’s less terrified over all, or hiding it better.

—

Gonna try clumping my taglist lmk if theres any issues please!

Tag list: @frogkingdom @verkja @whumpsday @octopus-reactivated @marvel-gt @rsitb-second-account @fallen-grace-smd @winged-wolf-s-collection-of-arts @kyp-the-spacekiwi @ilasknives @hollowgast1 @redd956 @zobodahobo @alittlewhump @blackrosesandwhump @angst-after-dark @sandygarnelle @coppercoyoti @kim-poce @mayisreallygay @smoll-stace @demondamage @vickytokio @whump-in-the-closet @shadowsnowdapple @whumpy-wyrms @re-whump @cypresscove @whumpninja @highlighterwhump @taters169 @justagiantpotato

[filmbyjy]

i loveeed ur poly imagine!! Could u make more? Maybe like what dating each ship is like?

a/n: oooo yes of course!! and so sorry for taking so long with this request😔 been extremely busy.

taglist[perm]: @ja4hyvn @ahnneyong @milklix @kar0ki @sugarsunoo

-

enhypen poly: what is it like to date each ship (popular ones)

| HEEJAKE / RAMYEONZ

man this ain’t fair >:(

sim jaeyun share some of heeseung with me :(

bye bc jake acts so baby girl around heeseung it’s actually so funny and cute at the same time

I mean honestly, same. jake, you have a valid reason to be acting like that

but anyways, what is it like to date heejake?

well for one thing, you definitely would be third wheeling them most of the times

“hyunggggg, come quick!! the round is starting!”

queue heeseung bolting back into the room as you were sitting on the bed.

don’t be sad though. they do hang out more than you hang out with them but they know when to step in and make you feel loved.

I also won’t deny. you’ve got two most flirtiest people to date

so pretty much expect to get attacked 24/7

because seriously they will out of nowhere give you that sexy ass look before leaning down to kiss you

which btw kissing your lips is their favourite past time.

100% makeout session like most of the time.

jake does it the most though. heeseung will just be playing his game.

“babe, i’m gonna order something.” heeseung says as he turns around to you and jake literally making out on the bed.

“let’s get some pizza.” jake says after he pulls away from lips. he goes back to kissing you after heeseung hums.

they are also clingy so enjoy that

| JAKEHOON aka SOULMATES

with heejake, your relationship is more chaotic but with jakehoon, it’s more chill.

when it comes to the both of them, I believe jake is more chill whilst hoon is the chaotic high energy one

literally manhandles you on the bed to get a kiss from you

“STRONG MAN.” sunghoon shouts.

jake is still cuddly but he plays it more safe.

for one thing, they will constantly ask you to choose between layla or gaeul

“babe babe, layla or gaeul?” jake says.

you can’t choose either one of them😔 they are both too adorable

“asking me to choose between layla or gaeul is literally like asking me who is the better boyfriend.” you deadpan.

“so, layla or gaeul?” sunghoon says.

you never answer that question and choose to avoid it at all cost.

ah speaking of layla and gaeul, you officially have two fur babies!

which means you are dubbed as layla and gaeul’s mother

and yes, you get to cuddle layla and gaeul. if the boys are out doing their own thing, you have layla and gaeul to yourselves

now put aside the puppers, I believe jakehoon are pretty affectionate.

sure, sunghoon is all tsundere and shit but really he just gets a little flustered to be soft.

so like just give him a big hug and cuddle

| JAYWON / MEOWZ

bro, I wanna date jaywon

THEY SEEM SO BOYFRIEND AND PERFECT CANDIDATES OF LIKE POLY RELATIONSHIP

THEY’D TREAT YOU SO DAMN RIGHT I SWEAR

jay makes dinner while you and jungwon just sit and cuddle

like hello?? that’s the most perfect scene

and if you are the same age as jay (like me😏) then both you and jay will baby jungwon

“wonie.” you pout.

“noona.” he smiles.

STOP THATS SO CUTE. I WANNA CUDDLE JUNGWON👺

UNFAIR

affection with them is the best

jay loves cuddling you

in fact, the both of them curl up to you like actual cats☹️🥺

this is them with you

I want this yoi

and yes that means you have joined the yoi cult

every single sentence you have includes yoi bc of jungwon

“jagiya, do you want to eat?” jungwon asks.

“yoi.” you answer.

“yoi.” jungwon says.

thats true love right there🫶🏻

| SUNKI aka please come back I miss you two together💔

god sunki was something else :(

i’m going to like say this was puberty and ni-ki still loves sunoo very much

I know the boy still adores him

anyways, how is it like dating sunki?

well for one thing, it feels like you are babysitting ni-ki

you wanna try to have a normal date but nah ni-ki doesn’t allow it

sunoo already planned like a picnic date

but suddenly it’s a football date??

but like the both of you aren’t complaining much, ni-ki is still baby. you want him to live out his childhood as much as possible

ni-ki is extremely cuddly whilst sunoo is okay with affection

“noona, i want a hug!” ni-ki appears out of nowhere with his arms wide out.

you give in bc ni-ki deserves it

the only time he doesn’t deserve it is when he plays pranks on both you and sunoo. neither of you can take it

“should we give ni-ki the silent treatment?” sunoo asks.

“how about no cuddles till next week?”

“noooo noona :(( please i need cuddles.” ni-ki pouts.

STOP I WANNA SQUISH HIM :(

I wont lie, yours and sunoo’s patience has definitely improved a lot since ni-ki was in the picture

like dude you may just become jay’s level of unbothered

[skyward-floored]

Little tiny fic with Eveni (Midlink kiddo) and Link who’s refusing to admit he’s depressed!!

(Spoilers for true form AU if anyone even cares)

So this is after Midna leaves. Link is still a mess, he’s refusing to work through his issues, and he can’t stay in Ordon because it just feels too stifling and small. So he leaves, and wanders around with Eveni for a while, apart from the occasional issue Zelda needs his help with.

————————————————————

Link trudges up to Zelda’s quarters, boots tapping on the stones the way they always do. His stomach growls loudly as he ascends, and Link sighs, ignoring the twist in his middle. He hasn’t eaten anything since before he cleared out the monsters by Lake Hylia early this morning, and it’s nearly dark out now.

Fortunately he just has to hand his report of the incident to the princess, and then he can go figure out something to eat.

And pick up Eveni, of course.

Link shakes his head to himself as he continues to climb, still a bit in disbelief at what had happened. He’d been... more than surprised when the Queen herself had offered to watch his son while he took care of the monster infestation. The kingdom’s knights hadn’t gotten anywhere in eradicating the beasts, and Zelda had asked for Link’s assistance, which he’d easily agreed to, and he’d been prepared to take Eveni along as usual.

Zelda had looked at him in disbelief when she’d realized he was going to bring his son, but it wasn’t like he was going to take Eveni into battle with him. He was used to traveling around with a toddler, and he’d done this several times, tucking Eveni securely on Epona’s back, and sending the two of them plenty far away from the fighting.

And he hadn’t wanted to leave Eveni so far out of his reach.

“Link, he’ll be far safer here,” Zelda had said gently when he’d declined. “I know you have your methods, but you’re still taking Eveni into a battle. If you leave him here you won’t have to spend your energy worrying about him, and I’ll need your report of what happened afterwards anyway. If he stays here, you don’t have to make any extra stops for him. You can merely come back here when you’ve finished, and then go as soon as you’d like. I know you don’t prefer to linger around town.”

The queen was right of course, (was she ever not?), and Link had hesitantly agreed. He’d gone on his way, but not after a long goodbye, and a tight hug for his son.

He’d never been away from Eveni for such a long period of time before, and found himself hurrying as he trodded up the stairs, worried thoughts drifting past his mind.

Yet... he wasn’t too worried.

Something about knowing Eveni was with the woman who’d helped him shoot arrows at the incarnation of hatred itself did help ease his mind. Other than his family and the folks in the Resistance, Zelda was someone he trusted above all else, even if their relationship was a bit awkward at times. Partially because of her character and how she was his friend-acquaintance-occasional-employer, but also in part due to an innate sense that he could trust her with his life, and he’d follow her anywhere.

...That was probably just the triforce connection though.

Link nods at a guard as he reaches the Queen’s quarters, and enters her rooms with a knock. An orange head shoots up in attention the moment he passes through the door, and Link can’t help the swell of relief at the sight of his son, safe and sound.

“Papa!” Eveni squeals, toddling over to him and waving his ever-present stuffed cat. Link hurried over and scoops up Eveni in a tight hug, noting Zelda standing up from where she was seated nearby. Eveni nestles up to him, and Link gives his head a kiss.

“Hey buddy, me and Epona missed you today. You have a good time?” Link asks with a smile, lifting Eveni and eliciting another happy squeal. His son laughs and squeezes Link’s neck, nearly choking him, but he merely adjusts him so he can breathe better.

Then he shifts his attention to Zelda, and gives her as much of a respectful bow as he can with a toddler clinging to his neck.

“Thank you, your majesty. I hope he wasn’t any trouble.”

“He was wonderful, Link. No thanks are needed, I was glad to spend some time with him again,” Zelda says with a faint smile. “He’s gotten so big since he lived here. I barely recognize him.”

Link’s smile dims at her words, the reminder of the brief time he and Midna stayed at the castle after Eveni was born still painful. It truly was one of the happiest times of his life, but the memories are more bittersweet now than anything.

Fortunately he’s gotten rather good at not letting it show.

“Yeah. He’s shooting up like a weed these days,” Link replies, looking down at his son. “Growing faster than I can handle sometimes.”

Eveni’s still clinging to his neck, but when he catches Link looking at him, smiles widely, and waves his cat around.

“Elda read! Oggy oggy!” he babbles excitedly, and Link looks over at Zelda to see if she has any clue what he’s talking about.

“I read him a bit of a tale with a wolf in it, he was quite enraptured,” she said, the same faint smile playing around her lips. “I suppose it runs in the family.”

Link almost rolls his eyes before he remembers it’s the Queen of Hyrule he’s talking to, and quickly refrains. He may know Zelda pretty well, but he at least tries to keep his manners in check.

So instead, he reaches in his pouch for the report he’d quickly scribbled up about the monster situation, and hands it over to the Queen.

“Everything went well,” he says simply, avoiding Eveni’s waving hands. “The road is passable again, monsters won’t be taking residence on the bridge again anytime soon.”

“That’s wonderful news Link, you have my thanks,” Zelda says gratefully, taking his letter. “Those bokoblins were causing all sorts of problems, and nobody seemed to be getting anywhere in removing them.”

“Well they shouldn’t cause any more problems now,” Link says, unable to stop the satisfaction from leaking into his voice.

He stretches his arm a little, grimacing when an ache ripples up his elbow. He hadn’t been seriously injured at all, but he had been hit by a few clubs, and they weren’t severe enough to merit use of a potion. There would doubtless be multiple bruises coloring his skin tomorrow.

“May I offer you a seat?” Zelda says when she notices the face he’s making, and Link hesitates, then nods, the thought of sitting a welcome one.

“Just for a little while,” he relents, and settles on one of Zelda‘s chairs with a small sigh of relief. He hadn’t realized quite how tired he was until he’d sat down.

Eveni shifts so he’s in his lap instead of clinging to his neck, and starts talking about Zelda again. Link listens to him as he recounts his day, mostly understanding his babbling words. Zelda does as well, and occasionally chimes in with an explanation of something that doesn’t quite translate.

But eventually Eveni’s chatter trails off, replaced with sleepy yawns, and Link looks out the window, the first few stars beginning to twinkle in the sky.

“It’s getting late,” he hums, and Zelda nods, setting down the tea she’d been sipping at.

She’s about to reply, but then his stomach lets out a horrendous gurgle of hunger, cutting her off and making Link flush with embarrassment.

“Link... did you forget to pack any rations?” Zelda asks in a stern voice, and Link shrinks under her stare. There’s a spark of amusement in her eyes when his stomach growls again, but she’s still giving him that look. “You were out all day Link, you can’t just not eat.”

“I ate breakfast,” he points out, ignoring the fact that said breakfast was a single piece of fruit. Zelda sighs as his stomach gurgles even louder.

“And obviously nothing since. Seeing as you’ve already here, I suppose you could... join me for dinner?” Zelda suggests, and Link pauses. “You and Eveni. You can take some time to rest and eat, and you can tell me of your eradication of the monsters at Lake Hylia yourself, and I can skip the report. If you’d like to of course,” she adds on, almost a little hurriedly.

“We really ought to be going...” Link trails off, and while Zelda doesn’t say anything, she knows just as well as he does that he has absolutely nowhere he needs to be.

He’s just... not in the habit of sitting around and talking to people anymore.

He looks down at Eveni where he’s nestled in his lap, a thumb in his mouth. Eveni’s head is resting on his shoulder, and his eyes are starting to close, but he’s still awake for now, and smiles when he sees Link looking at him.

“Papa hungy?” he asks with a tug on his collar, and Link smiles.

“Yeah, papa is hungry. And I bet you are too,” he says as he pokes his tummy, and Eveni giggles.

His son nestles up to his arms again without replying, and Link looks over at Zelda, still patiently awaiting his answer.

He’d planned to be out of here as quickly as possible; merely drop off his report, pick up Eveni, and be on his way. Avoid unpleasant memories and people he doesn’t want to talk to or answer probing questions from. Go back to wandering Hyrule just like before.

And yet.

Sitting here with Eveni secure in his arms, talking with Zelda and for once not having to worry about his son’s safety...

He doesn’t... want to leave.

He meets Zelda’s eyes, a shade of blue some might call cold (he knows better, he’s seen them light up with a warmth as bright as a summer’s day), and breaths out, giving her a hesitant smile.

“That would be wonderful, Zelda.”

[gabessquishytum]

Shifter au!

Excuse me while I world build for a second. People can shift into all kinds of animals, but in modern times shifts are a little less frequently used and the animals tend to be much smaller. More people are house pets as opposed to big cats for example. More Shetland ponies than draft horses.

So that means hob, a medieval peasant, really stands out when he shifts. Because he is a gigantic bear. Once upon a time he was still pretty rare but not absurdly. Now bears his size are practically unheard of. Plus people have somehow become more prejudiced about shifts and assume it means that Hob is domineering and territorial and dangerous.

Actually hob is very sweet, loves being fucked as much as he loves fucking, and isn’t actually dangerous anymore, thanks. In his day it wasn’t like this. He could cuddle with his friends and romp around and no one expected him to act a certain way just because of his animal. Mostly he was happy because being a bear meant he could defend his friends and family, fight well and also eat lots of honey and berries and fish. But now people expect him to be a certain way when they know he is a bear and it either repels them or they are confused and angry when he doesn’t meet their expectations.

Sometimes he pretends to be a Labrador shifter just because it’s easier to get people to feel comfortable around him. but it’s hard to never be able to shift around his loved ones. Spending time in your animal form is crucial to your mental and physical health. So this form that was once his pride and joy is sort of a hindrance to him now.

By 2023, He does have a group of friends, other shifters like him who don’t quite fit the mold. Shifters who have changed their animals because they didn’t fit them anymore. Shifters with rare animals. Even a couple of people who don’t shift at all. when hob’s boyfriend comes around they’re all a little surprised. At first glance he is sort of twinky and pretty. He says his form is a house cat. His friends take one look at him and know…that’s no house cat.

Of course the king of dreams can have any form he wants. But generally he takes the form of a gigantic panther. More than capable of turning his bear into more of a teddy bear. And anyone intimidated by a bear would be surprised to see how eagerly and joyfully hob submits for dream, the true apex predator in the room.

Oh I’m having feelings about this!!! And on the subject of shifter!Hob I must take a moment to thoroughly recommend @arialerendeair ‘s amazing wolf shifter Hob fic, Call of the Wild. It absolutely altered my brain chemistry.

Anyway, back to bear!Hob. I literally love this so much. I’m imagining Hob having to go into remote rural areas to shift, and even then he really has to be on his guard and he can’t just… frolic and enjoy himself like he wants to. He loves his little group of misfit shifter friends, and when they can occasionally get away as a group for little trips into the woods it feels great. He does get very emotional though, because it reminds him of how things used to be. It hurts a lot to have to readjust himself to societal expectations and go back to pretending.

He didn’t even have a sexual partner for so long, until after Dream returned and they got together. Shifting and sex go hand in hand, and Hob was both afraid of hurting a partner with a smaller animal shift and afraid that he would be rejected. Finally getting to be with his Dream is amazing for so many reasons, but the emotional and physical outlet of getting to shift with him? Hob is thankful for that every single day.

Hob’s high ceilinged, open plan flat is a perfect space for him and Dream to shift in privacy. They can cuddle around each other, scent each other, and Dream takes great delight in pinning his beautiful hairy bear down and mounting him. And when they want to run together? There are forests and valleys in the dreaming which are entirely dedicated to Hob’s desire to shift. He can run, leap, climb, hunt, whatever he needs. Dream watches, lounging in the trees with a satisfied expression and occasionally pouncing down on Hob when he least expects it.

When Hob wakes up in bear form, curled in his nest with Dream draped on top of him, he’s reminded of the old days. But tears don’t come to his eyes anymore. He can look back and smile, because Dream has given him such a wonderful gift.

If there’s time, he’ll shift back into human form, and show Dream his very human appreciation. The only downside in being a bear is that he does feel awfully sleepy in the mornings - but he can always rouse himself for his king <3

[thygoddessouijathicc]

Bishop Edibility Tierlist; A very deeply serious essay about which bishop would taste the best if you had to eat one of them for any reason

Aight, 88% of you voted in favour of this being released, so this is on you. This blood is on YOUR hands. Just remember that as you read this.

So you all remember that essay I did about how the bishops all had some kinda trauma or different reactions to purgatory and shit and how that was such a serious thing analyzing dialogue and reactions and stuff-?

Well there are TWO wolves inside of me, and one of them writes serious researched essays, it’s time you meet the other.

To preface this, this essay is entirely a joke please don’t take any word of this seriously.

To start with, technically anything is edible if you try hard enough, sometimes only once but I digress, however some things are more appetizing than others.

For this essay we will be taking evidence from canon in some cases on things you can eat, but assuming that this only means these things are more appetizing in this world, not that anything you can’t feast upon very specifically in the game is somehow inedible. Meat is meat.

Also Narinder will be referred to as a bishop because he was one.

Ok let’s start our list.

At the absolute bottom of the edibility tierlist is Narinder. Narinder is a cat. While technically cats are indeed edible by the laws of meat is meat, cats hold a special place in the hearts of many including myself.

But to be honest the real reason that Narinder holds this spot is meat quantity and quality of him specifically. Narinder, holds very little meat. Sure he has a head, but his arms are skeletal and it’s safe to assume possibly a lot of the rest of his body tis also but frail bone. Possibly what is not could also be rotten if he’s that kind of god of death that qualifies as a corpse. And while meat is meat, Narinder not only has very little, but what he does have may be poor quality. This cements him in the shameful bottom spot.

He’s also a-

Moving on, next, quite regrettably, is Leshy. Leshy is a major jump in quality from Narinder.

We don’t know much about bushworms or their anatomy but what we do know, is Leshy is dummy thicc, this means he has a large quantity of meat.

Unfortunately Leshy is also a worm which isn’t exactly the most appetizing creature to put in your gaping maw so that docks him a few points.

However the true reason he cannot be higher is that depending on your read of his anatomy, Leshy could qualify as a salad, and EWWWWW VEGITALS!!! 🤢🤮🤮

Moving on to the “would eat again category” we start with Heket.

Now it should not be news to anyone that frogs are edible, especially to French people. But I don’t believe in French people, they aren’t real. Anyway as I’m saying, you can eat frogs to your hearts content!

There are sanitation issues with Anura apparently being super gross which docks some points but overall, Heket is a solid option.

Now we’ve reached “ok hear me out” territory with Shamura.

Spiders are a major food source in cult of the lamb. Which is a bit questionable for a few reasons, including that there are multiple spider characters and Webber exists but also small spiders on the ground which seem to be a separate species which raises a lot of questions possibly best gone unanswered.

What really matters is what you can do with the small spiders you find around, you can chase them down and when you catch them, they drop meat. My friends have told me that this means I’m just taking meat they are holding, after all you can get berries if the spider has taken them.

What I say to this is: but the idea of lamb running around at night and picking up whole large spiders off the ground and feeding them to their followers is fucking hilarious, and also they always drop the same meat and never berries unless they have picked them up. You’d think if I’m just taking what they have and they will eat berries as well as meat, that I’d get berries more often. Nay, only when picked up from my farms.

This leads to the only possible conclusion being that people in the cult of the lamb universe feed often on spiders, that’s right, Helob eating followers is VENGEANCE.

So, we have established spiders are very edible in cult of the lamb, and you know what Shamura is? A giant fucking spider. They are edible, I rest my case.

Now let’s move on to first place oh boy who is it, probably who you should have expected, Kallamar.

His name sounds like Calamari to start with and not only can you eat squids in real life, you can in the game (similar weird separate species thing with spiders only in this case it’s more definitive that you can very much eat the squids themselves.)

Kallamar would also likely cry if you proclaimed your desire to consume him, misery not only makes meat better but his tears could be seasoning!

Not even to mention the fact that after beating him, it would be a moment of victoriousness and pure vindictive nature, to proceed to eat Kallamar, and vindictive nature is something I most definitely do not lack as I cuss out bishops every time I see the statues after I beat them.

Squids also don’t have many bones so unlike the others who you’d have to spend an extensive time processing before eating, Kallamar would be easy and his bones make up very little of his composition.

In conclusion, why did you read this whole essay it’s not even that funny.

And those of you who voted to have this released. Are you happy?

Are you not entertained!?