#which is a great podcast btw highly recommend

[windsoflimbo]

I've been rereading homestuck ((again) for the last time) while listening alongside the Homestuck Made This World podcast from Ranged Touch and I'm reminded how ridiculous both the story and the fandom got during Act 5. Who was out here saying to skip everything and start on that Act? That Act in particular? Who. You can come out, I'm not mad I promise.

[intertexts]

tell me more about dakota cole gon hunter hunter I literally know. nothing abt that anime give me ur propaganda. ramble 2 me forever and ever I wanna KNOW

I HOPE YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE IN FOR!!!!!!

god. okay. hunter x hunter is a shonen manga by yoshihiro togashi that's been in serialization since '98 & has had two separate anime adaptions. i'm gonna be talking abt the '11 adaption, since that's the one ive been watching! (sidenote: started hxh because of the podcast media club plus which is easily one of my favorite podcasts everrr incredibly good analysis has really affected the way i think about media analysis & criticism extremely fucking fun awesome dynamics btwn folks who are 1) very well known for having extremely good media opinions & 2) great friends who have been friends for a long time & just a delight to listen to. its a great time regardless of whether u r watching the show or not highly recommend if u ever need a new work or commute podcast etc) also disclaimer that i'm only on episode 62 of the show. so.

anyway. the hxh plot:

i will not get into the plot much because it's not as important for the dakota gon isms. but its this. ^!!

so hxh is, overall, a homage to and deconstruction of its genre tropes. togashi very much loves and enjoys a ton of the tropes he's playing with and very obviously delights in subverting just as many of them. it balances these wildly disparate tones of classic, bright candy colored shonen magical worlds and powers and big fights with genuine, seriously-considered violence, cruelty, sinister power structures and all the other heavy consequences of splashy ultraviolence. [RINGS THE PD BELL!!!] the whiplash is ridiculous sometimes-- the ease with which the show cuts from the last survivor of a genocide (kind, reasonable, soft-spoken) turning to self-destructive revenge that is quite literally destroying him from the inside out, taking an immense toll on him and his relationships with the people he loves, becoming a murderer in cold blood (& of course we spend time with the man he murders beforehand, and he's fucking awful, but also human, and has friends and shit, & it's very clear that this is something dreadful and not just a cool fight)-- to like, the two twelve-year-old main characters concocting a fucking ridiculous scheme to corner the antiques market so they get a billion dollars to buy a viddy game & one of the twelve year olds faces turns into a little >:3 kitty face whenever hes doing something sneaky & there's some cartoon ass shopkeeper scamming them, is wild. and neither of them are the "correct tone," right? the whole thing is a balance between the modes & takes them both seriously & at their own value. [RINGS THE PD BELL] so like. literally since a couple episodes into prime defenders ive been like oh, yeah, this tracks, i'm not bothered by the constant juxtaposition of stupid ass bits with genuinely serious moments, this is obviously influenced by hxh. which, like, i still can't say if that was intentional or not. but hxh is one of The manga of all time & was & still is incredibly influential (sasuke of sasuke fame is a knockoff of a hxh character btw), so i have no doubt that it was an ingredient in the mix somehow!

anyway. gon, who is literally dakota, is the protag! hes the little boy who set off to find out whats so great about cigarettes :) he is a kid who was raised by his aunt who he has a complicated relationship with after his mother was killed and his father disappeared, and he grew up in the woods and is very very strong and fast and good at fighting because he grew up in the woods!! fucking feral little creature boy who fights with a fishing rod and talks to animals and has an incredible sense of smell. gon does some shit, leaves the island, makes some friends, gets groomed by a creepy fucking pedophile which he thinks is fine, gets brutally tortured for a very very uncomfortably long time, which he thinks is fine, becomes a hunter (which is great he has awesome lines of credit now!) it's still unclear what a hunter is or does, but they have lots of power and can do pretty much whatever they want. anyway, he wants to be the best and the strongest and he loves fighting for fun, for the sake of fighting and being good at what he does!!!! and he also wants to find his dad. and definitely doesn't have any unresolved issues from the fact that his mom is dead its fine he doesn't even want to know anything about her its chill and also his dad's so cool so whatever he was doing was for sure more important than him so it doesn't matter that he abandoned him! the crux of gon as a character is that he is very silly and often kind and very much a kid, and he does not fucking care what happens to himself. he is fine with getting the shit beaten out of him by people twice his age he is cheerfully oblivious to and makes excuses for almost every single adult taking advantage of him or being just awful to him, when it's very obvious in the narrative that it is bad and not good, he's self-destructively reckless and impulsive and fixated on what he thinks is good and right and also on becoming the best and strongest even if he burns out fast and he loves his friends so so so much. and simultaneously also he's a sillygoofy kid who does dumb shit with his best friend ever (gay) n worries about his pals n stuff. its okay if he burns himself out and gets himself hospitalized for months its okay if people hurt him and take advantage of him and get off on the idea of killing him but its NOT ok if his friends even THINK about taking a risk like that >:(( head in hands. anyway. yeah. fun silly adventures strange beasts and foreign lands and wild cartoon shenanigans and very explicit horror and gore!! with often brutal and terrible consequences that leave you feeling kind of sick!!! where have i heard that before!!!!!!!!!!

[zukkacore]

okay okay okay. it was so hard to choose a scene from (tell me how) for the director commentary but i got it: The start of “Listen to me.” Porter takes his face in his hands. “I have everything under control. The Bad Kids are nothing, Jace. Trust me..." to.... well. End.

Shameless Self Promo for (tell me how) to be more like you

OOOOOOHHH ok ty ty this is great thank you. This was actually super fun to think about and thank you for asking! I came into this thinking I wouldn’t have much to say, but oops. Guess not. I’m not gonna TOTALLY backtrack but what I will say is that. This is actually kinda interesting b/c i was talking to a friend abt the fic in general, and this scene gave me some grief b/c I remember saying I was actually like. Really hesitant to add like. More overt “romantic” elements to the scene b/c I thought they would be too… abrupt or jarring I guess? Like. To me this fic is more of a conduit for me to scream abt Jace n Gorgug parallels from the rooftops, so it wasn't about the starbreaker relationship until I realized it was ALL ABOUT the starbreaker relationship. I also don’t tend to see Porter in my mind as this…openly affectionate or reassuring… Something like that. 

But also there’s this huge roller coaster that Jace is being pulled through and he’s being so starved for affection that he will take absolutely anything rn. I also realized a resolution like that was necessary because, maybe it’s just me extrapolating from headcanon, I always sense this, like, underlying tension between Porter’s desire to dominate and control others vs. his desire to push, to optimize and actualize. We’ve seen him act this way with Fig and with Gorgug, and it’s not textual that this is an internal conflict regarding his feelings about Jace being his subordinate, but to me this tension seemed like a natural extension of Porter’s relationships with the character’s we DO see. After so much breaking Jace down, he’s gotta get built up, gotta get on the hook again.

“Listen to me / I have everything under control”

is also. So authoritative, and the closest thing to reassurance Jace is gonna get. So much of Jace’s side of the conversation is 1-2 degrees of separation away from basically admitting “I care about you so much despite everything, and I’m just begging for you to care about me, too. (Don’t you see how stressed i am. Don’t you care about my life at all. etc).” And it’s telling that Porter can’t be vulnerable in return, the best he can do is reassure Jace that everything is gonna be ok in this egotistical, almost paternalistic way.

(“They’re twig gremlins” is such a signaling facts line tho. Sorry if that’s confusing. I used to listen to the shrieking shack podcast, and their dunkfest on HP7 will live in my head forever highly recommend btw, it fully changed my opinion on the final book forever that it truly should be seen as a GOT final season level embarrassment and for some reason its not even tho it’s astoundingly bad AND meanspirited. Anyway. I remember so clearly them saying one of the weird things abt deathly hallows was that it kept doing this fanfic thing of like “signaling facts” about the lore to prove the writer has done their research or is winking playfully at the source material. Which is weird bc it’s a book and not a fanfiction, so it felt really out of place and jarring. Anyway i have no qualms with fanfic signaling facts. I thought using a fantasy creature that is equally as insignificant as a rat or a spider would be fun. We all know what the ratgrinders do.)

Maybe I got a little over-invested. I can’t help it, I need recruits, and the kid’s a natural. But that’s not everything. He’s too… Too timid. Afraid.” “Of what?” “Embracing his power.”

Extrapolating on Porter’s motivations for saying he needs recruits tho; I mean, I don’t think he ever outright SAYS it but if he wants to be the god of war, I’m assuming he wants strong soldiers for his empire? In my mind this goes hand in hand with the like. Wanting to actualize certain characters even if its technically against his best interests (which i do think is somewhat is goal even if sometimes you can chalk it up to manipulations for his other plans. Like. I do think on some level as just a teacher, Porter thinks giving gorgug some tough love will push him where he needs to go). If you want to meld a strong warrior in your image, it's not a problem as long as you can get them On Your Side, ideally by persuasion but he has no problem using force (presumably shatterstar).

Which goes hand in hand with the doublespeak that is both about Jace and Gorgug when he says that jace/Gorgug is afraid of “embracing his power”. As much as I view it as a tension, i don’t think it’s a true contradiction for Porter to want to control Jace while also wanting to “actualize” him, control to keep someone submissive vs. control to shape someone into something you find personally acceptable.

And in the eyes of Porter, Gorgug’s flaws are that he is timid, noncommittal, and kinda dense; Porter’s never stated in the canon that he’s repulsed by Jace for the same reason, but why wouldn’t he be? He calls Gorgug a “natural” and I’m pretty sure he says that directly to Gorgug’s face in-show? And with Jace being a sorcerer, it’s meant to be a subtle reinforcement (Even when he’s trying to be comforting!!!) that like, yeah, raw talent isn’t enough. Especially if you’re letting it go to waste. I also think it’s Porter trying to recontextualize everything he’s expressed abt Gorgug. No, that wasn’t disgust, it’s a good thing. Trust me. It’s because I want what’s best for you.

All of this is building to Porter making Jace feel like he’s getting a shot to rise to an occasion. He basically just got reprimanded for wanting things to be easy so now it’s like—this is an opportunity for you. (I actually joked w/ a friend abt this, too, abt this idea of like Earning Porter’s Approval literally through the experience of watching FHJY. I actually described it to them as like, I felt like me and gorgug were basically Andy from Devil Wears Prada in the trenches, and on a practical level, we know what Miranda is putting her through is abusive, but also finally gaining her approval feels GOOD and you feel good FOR Andy when she starts nailing the job. I hated Porter for so long but by the time he was getting along with the bad kids I swung in the other direction, I started to really like him. Oh how young and foolish we were)

And Jace from the very start of “Listen to me” buys the whole thing. Porter doesn’t care for who Jace is, but he loves what Jace could be. And I don’t think Porter’s motivations are all manipulative, at least not overtly, because he does see something in Jace, so what if it happens to coincide with using him to ascend to godhood? It’s this genuine, like, god-as-patriarch perspective of i love you so much that I decide what is best for you. And that belief is both a source of frustration and motivation (esp b/c this personal take on Jace is neurodivergent coded. I won’t go into it. The failing wizardry comment did something to my brain, ok? You’ve built up a perfectly actualized version of me in your head and say it's because you want what’s best for me, and you’re making it my problem. I’m not injecting personal experiences into this. Who said I was).

So Porter loves who Jace could be, and in that moment, just out of Jace’s reach it’s enough, it’s even something aspirational. As fucked over as he was by Porter, its like, after a long time of just kinda Existing, it feels good to feel like someone believes in you.

“Tell me some things aren’t worth a little risk.”

Porter kisses him, and it’s an implicit signal of, like, it’s good to be a little dangerous actually. Don’t be such a stick in the mud. It’s good to be bad. It’s exciting, being with you is exciting, don’t you want to push the envelope a little bit for me?

(And in my mind because Jace has referenced missing being with Porter “It's the closest they've been in ages. Jace can't help but lean a little bit into it.” etc etc Jace kinda does this thing where they do their like toxic yaoi at each other's throats back and forth and Jace will kinda peel off. And then come back. Like they’re technically in one of their Off Phases now where Jace tries to convince himself that it’s better if they maintain some space. This is by far one of the more tender instances of them like coming back together, usually it's a lot more, ya know. Violent toxic yaoi coded. But it reminds him of before the shatterstar, when there were more instances like this. Maybe i should have included some of this in the actual fic. Lol. I literally wrote it in such a rush.)

“Hey. You’re gonna knock it out of the park, alright? [...] We’re all looking to you, now, Stardiamond. It’s a heavy burden, but I can’t think of anyone else I’d trust more to handle the responsibility"

And trying to be sneaky, saying things with double meanings is creating this moment of intimacy of like—we get each other. This is OUR thing. AND the flirting is doing double duty. The undercurrent of “I trust you with this responsibility” doubles as a more menacing “Don’t let me down”.  But there's also that recalling of like. Oh yeah, they really are just like. Co-workers. Maybe a little intense to say, but also on the outside, is that not innocuous enough? Who among us has not said to our best friend (i kid)

Anyway, I wasn’t sure where I was going when I wrote it, but i also think there’s something so interesting abt a sorcerer needing to be so dependent on another person for that sense of purpose. Porter is so his whole world here, which is crazy b/c sorcerers project their Will into the world (I have so many thoughts abt how this parallels the thing tracker said to Kristen about liking the idea of making your own meaning but also not wanting to do the work b/c on some level you think you deserve to have it easy. I think Jace is so similar. He likes the idea of being self-determining, of projecting his will, he’s even smug about it, but he also doesn’t want to put in the WORK so the minute someone else comes along gives him answers he’s like ok. That’s ok. Making meaning is exhausting anyway. This is my new reality now. But never mind it. Maybe it's for a prequel?). 

(also bonus that didn’t really fit into the progression of Thoughts, but there’s also the fact that in my mind, Porter saying about Gorgug, “He earned it, after the damn display at Frosty Fair,” is all but an admission that Porter is absolutely placating Jace, and Jace had actually very little sway in Porter’s decision-making. Porter was always gonna sign Gorgug’s MCAT (as long as Gorgug took the initiative to demand it). But Jace FEELS like something has changed, and that’s what matters. (something something that meme of the cow about the illusion of choice lol). I do think there is something intentionally disempowering about Porter bringing it up this way as well. Like, yes, Jace’s problem about antagonizing the bad kids seems to have gone (as far as he’s aware), but he is ultimately reinforcing, “this is my decision.”)

This doesn’t have anything to do with anything, but I do think there is an interpretation to be made (that I also enjoy in and partake) that Porter does also love Jace. I don’t know how much of that comes through in this particular instance.

Anyway, this was such a treat, thank you so much! Sorry if any of this felt redundant af bc i feel like I’ve said a lot of it before, or maybe it’s super self-evident.

[calumsash]

haven't done one of these in a while but hey! they're so fun <3 thank u @daydadahlias for tagging me mwah <3

last song: body better by maisie peters!!! i was just getting back home and i really wanted to blast it and i had to skip like 10 songs till i got to it but it was just enough time to listen to it and park the car 💅

currently watching: i actually started to do a rewatch of this is us a few days ago and have been crying non stop 👍 highly recommend watching this show btw if you haven't (if you want for extra impact watch it with your mom which is what i did when it was actually airing). also im watching abbott elementary as it's back for s3 now!!! gregory me beloved i missed u my boy <3333

currently reading: for my 911/5sos overlapped people im in the middle of reading this buddie fic and even if i haven't finished it yet im already putting it in my personal favs cause it's got great understanding of eddie as a character which is the absolute best when it happens in a buddie fic yk <3

current favorites: the radiator in my room where i stick my socked feet in that keeps me warm for most of the day. also actually kinda enjoy doing the dishes when i can put on a podcast and take my sweet time. a nice bowl of cereal with almond milk. the dress i thrifted last week that has pockets.

if you feel like doing this go ahead consider yourself being tagged by me <3

[morrigan-sims]

hi morri, hope you're having a good day! how did you get into dnd? i'm interested by it but my adhd revolts at all the complex info and rules and reading and such. i'm trying to get a feel for it with baldur's gate, is that misguided? lmao i know nothing 🙏🏼💗

LUSH!! Ask me about my special interest why don’t you? /pos

I’m gonna start off and say that I have yet to play BG3 so I can’t really make a comparison between that and actual D&D, but from what I’ve heard the rules are pretty much the same, it’s just a lot more limited in choices Bc yk, video game. (No game will ever be able to simulate the pure chaos of people playing D&D. I swear to you. People come up with the wildest shit.)

So, I’ve had an interest in it for YEARS, like, so long. I don’t even remember where it started, I just thought it sounded cool as hell and I wanted to play. But I didn’t *really* get into it until late last year.

I got my introduction by watching Critical Role, and that helped me to the point that the second time I ever played I could help my DM remember rules. (No one believed me that I had only played once before lmao.)

So if you want to get a feel for how it works and the rules, watching people play is a GREAT way to do that! There’s some amazing D&D shows out there. I’ve only watched CR, but I know a lot of people who love Dimension 20 and I’ve also heard of Not Another DnD Podcast. (If anyone has other suggestions, feel free to comment!)

(Btw, if listening to just audio is impossible for you, like it is for me, both CR and d20 have full videos of their streams on YouTube. Which is both more fun (facial expressions, body language, and all around shenanigans) and also lets you see and understand combat better which is helpful!)

But all in all, the best way to really get a feel for the game is actually play it. (Which is true of anything, really.) I have a discord server for simmers who play D&D, and I’d be happy to send you the invite if you want! I’ll gladly answer any questions you have (I’m not kidding. I’ve explained just about the entire rule book to my mom and sister by this point, and I enjoyed it.), plus we’re hoping to run a couple one shots this summer!

A one shot is a great way to test out the waters and see if you like it, plus they can be just plain ridiculous, so I highly recommend giving one a shot.

Okay, that’s it. I swear. I’m so sorry for rambling at you for 200+ words. But yeah, feel free to DM me on here or on discord if you have questions and/or want an invite to the server. (That goes for anyone btw!) I hope you enjoy your foray into D&D!

[scattered-winter]

REC LIST FOR @stardustsea

SERIES

gen:LOCK

imma be real w u bro. this one is GREAT for the first season but the second season ?? literally dead to me. so if u do watch this . highly recommend that u should stop after the s1 finale <3 BUT REGARDLESS. this show is like pacific rim meets power rangers. found family. super cool animation. banger soundtrack. ROBOTS. literally everything any media ever needs <3 here's the opening btw!!! its sooo cool. beloved <3 (the fandom is soo small I'm STARVED for ppl to scream about this show with..so if u ever watch it PLEASE let me know..)

kingdom (on netflix but i have slightly not legal links if u need !!)

just gonna say that korean zombie movies/shows are ALWAYS bangers and this one's no exception. it takes place in medieval times and has period-accurate clothing and swords and the like and I LOVE THE TAKE ON ZOMBIES IN ANCIENT TIMES. ITS SOOOO COOL. also i loove the characters. and the cinematography. everything is soo <33 however u need subtitles for this one so idk how good it is for casual background viewing

PODCASTS

batman unburied

u don't need a whole lot of prior knowledge to get into this one!!!! it's probably. my fav podcast of all time. and one of my fav dc medias of all time also. there's some pretty disturbing content (one of the main villains is a cannibal serial killer, and the first few eps have some Really Bad Sensory Sounds that almost made me stop listening the first time around BUT they're very short and only for the first couple episodes iirc) ALSO the mcelroy brothers voice some background characters which I think you might find fun !!! during my second time listening, after listening to taz I was doing the pointing leonardo dicaprio lmaooo <3 and tbh it has some of my FAVORITE characterizations of all the characters. and it also has theeeee babygirlest version of the riddler to ever exist <3 the cast is also AMAZING. honestly I could ramble about this podcast for DAYS but just know that it's highly highly recommended !!

there was gonna be a lot more than this but i have . forgor :( however if i think of more i'll share !!!

[satisfactory-dreams]

HELLO AGAIN!!

Wow, are you a beach boys fan? I haven’t read anything about them but honestly I’ve always wanted to know more! The only biographies I’ve read have been ones about Van Halen and the Beatles :( So unfortuantely not a very large range!

But if you DO liek the beach boys, do you have any recommendations? Anything you learned about them?

Hope your day is going great and thank you for the good luck on my finals ❤️❤️❤️❤️ I guess I never told you my age, as well. I’m 19 and I’m a sophomore in college!

Yes, I LOVE them !!! I got super interested I'm them in summer 2021 and more intensely in spring 2022. Their history is SO SO CRAZY, I don't even know where to begin. I heard loads about them before, but what made me interested in them was Todd in the Shadows video about their Summer in Paradise album. They are a band that has so many good and pretty tunes but slso so MANY FLOPS. However I personally love a lot of the flops. The same podcast I mentioned, Rivals slso did an episode on them that is great to introduce you into the history.

As for recommendations, the books I mentioned in the last ask are pretty much what I've read so far, with the addition of a book about Carl Wilson that is sadly not an autobiography. I would highly recommend these books and the film Love & Mercy with Paul Dano, which is a fan favourite. There's also like 2 panned miniseries, I only saw The Beach Boys: An American Family which is vad and insensitive but I liked it for the camp value 😂

Nice to know you're close to my age, I'm 21 and in my final year of university. What do you study btw, I do languages.

Thank you for the ask, have a great day❤

[whentherewerebicycles]

You seem to be really amazing at executing planned changes with food and exercise (and also generally better psychological habits) - can i ask for advice on this? I’ve finished up studying for now and realise my body has turned into a twisted up, pudgy, weakened wreck! Exercise hurts and sugar/processed food feels so cosy and I can’t seem to get through this part where i have to feel discomfort for a while before i feel better!

What works for you? Should i read that atomic habits book you mention? I saw another one recommended - the Kindness Habit - do you know anything about it?

(I tried journaling btw - but it didn’t get me anywhere)

hello!! i can share some things that have worked for me when it comes to implementing longer-term changes in diet and exercise. these seem really simple but i think that actually making big lifestyle changes is much less about summoning up colossal amounts of willpower and much more about making small but important tweaks to the way you think about/approach diet and exercise. here are five things that have been helpful to me.

(1) don’t think of diet changes in terms of restrictions (i.e., “what delicious cozy sugary things do i have to deprive myself of today to be Good”). instead, approach diet changes as a fun little game of adding in as many good things as possible (fruits, veggies, leafy green things, nuts of all kinds, whole grains, beans, etc.). every single time you are preparing a meal or looking for a snack, describe it to yourself as a chance to be creative and resourceful, as you think about fun ways to add in small good things every time you eat. especially in the early weeks, don’t restrict foods from your diet at all. focus solely on finding a creative way to add in something healthy and delicious every time you eat. (i really liked using the daily dozen checklist when i was starting out—they have an app and it’s very satisfying and fun to see how many things you can check off the list each day.)

(2) narrate this “adding-in” game aloud to yourself. for example: “oh—what if i eat a big handful of berries on top of that ice cream?”, or “i’m hungry—ooh, there are carrots in the fridge, aren’t there? i’ll eat three carrots with hummus before i switch over to pita chips”). and every time you figure out a creative way to add in a good food, stop and observe yourself doing it, and let yourself feel a little spark of delight at how clever and creative you’re being. this sounds silly, but i swear it works! part of changing your habits is changing self-talk & especially changing the kind of running narrative you have in your head about who you are and what you do. you can change that narrative in part by repeatedly reframing the way you tell it to yourself, ideally aloud (or aloud in your head) to help you can better “hear” and internalize the new story. instead of “ugh... i ate ice cream again. why don’t i have any self-control? why am i someone who just eats like crap?”, you’re offering your brain an alternate story, one that focuses less on things you perceive yourself as lacking, or on things you ‘failed’ to do, and more on the creative, positive things you did do (“i wasn’t going to eat any fruit today, but wasn’t it great that i remembered we had those frozen berries in the fridge? that’s pretty creative and resourceful of me, and plus it’s a good way to use up something i’d forgotten i even had”).

the “noticing and feeling delighted” part is just as important. to successfully change a habit, you need to find creative ways to make the new habit pleasurable in and of itself. the more pleasure you feel when you do it, the more self-reinforcing the habit itself becomes. you might not experience eating healthy foods as intensely pleasurable (at least at first, especially if you are comparing them with the intense brain-hacking pleasure that super sugary foods give us). so don’t try! instead, focus on making the choice a source of pleasure and delight. "look at how clever i was! look at how creative i can be! look at what a good choice i made! look at how good i am at this game of adding in!” that act of stopping, narrating, and letting yourself feel genuinely pleased with what you’ve just done makes the choice to add something in pleasurable, which in turn can help fuel your sense that this isn’t about having iron willpower or about cruelly depriving yourself of delicious things, but is about playing a fun little game with yourself, creating little challenges or puzzles for yourself throughout the day and then giving yourself positive reinforcement when you figure them out.

(3) manage your environment to set yourself up for success. to paraphrase the atomic habits book: the people who seem to have the best willpower are the people who have to exercise it the least. and they have to exercise it the least because they’ve very effectively managed their environment, arranging things so that the desired choices are easy and “frictionless,” while the undesired choices or habits are more inconvenient or introduce more friction (it’s harder to get to them).

the easy starter version of this (from atomic habits): put the things you want to eat in highly visible places and/or in appealing arrangements, and put the things you don't want to eat in places that aren't visible or that are inconvenient to access. ice cream goes in the very back of the fridge, buried behind all the other stuff. nuts go in a bowl on your desk so that you can idly snack on them while you work. apples and bananas go in a big brightly colored bowl right on the counter, so that every time you pass through the kitchen your eyes are drawn to them. chips go in the bottom cupboard, the one below eye level that you don't use very often, and when you get them out you pour some into a bowl and put them right back in there (instead of leaving the bag out on the counter). make the choice you want to make easy, and make the choice you don't want to make harder to get to.

eventually, the most effective way of managing your environment is just to exercise total control over what comes into your own living space. for me, if i don’t want to eat it, i don’t have it in the house. i typically also place a curbside delivery grocery order so that i don’t have to go into the store—anything that comes into my house is something i made a deliberate choice about ordering, not something i wandered by a shelf and added to my cart because i wanted a treat. something i’ve learned about myself over the years that moderation is just not in my vocabulary—i’m an all-or-nothing person, and it’s SO much easier for me to just not have stuff i don’t want to eat in the house. no ice cream in the house. no alcohol in the house. no fried things, no chips, no candy, etc etc. if someone kindly brings me baked goods that i did not ask for, i genuinely appreciate the gesture, but as soon as they leave i give them to my next door neighbor or dump them in the trash. (SORRY TO PEOPLE WHO BAKE FOR ME!) if it's in the house i'll eat it. if it's not, i won't, and i also won't miss it.

i did do this pretty gradually at first, though! when i switched to a primarily whole food plant-based diet, i focused on playing the adding-in game for a couple weeks, and then when i started getting competitive about it i decided to use my grocery order as a way of creatively boosting my fruit/veggie/etc consumption even more, and in the process i started winnowing out things that took away chances to add in a good thing. i would say it took about three or four weeks to get to my personal ideal state of Nope I Don't Have It In The House.

it takes time, but i’d say that within a month of having only things you want to eat in the house, your cravings will be gone, at least within your own managed environment (going to restaurants or traveling DOES require you to exercise willpower, but there are ways to prepare for this in advance). the good news, though, is that 6-8 months or so of eating like this usually brings with it such improved sleep, mood, energy levels, skin, hair, GI function, etc etc that you start to be like oh my GOD why would i want to eat that horrifying thing?? I KNOW HOW BAD IT MAKES ME FEEL!! I WANT TO POWER MY BODY WITH PLANTS!!!!! in other words, the pleasurable side effects of eating well becomes positively reinforcing in its own right, while the negative effects you experience when you reintroduce sugar or fried things tends to reinforce the idea that those foods Feel Bad.

(4) it's not exercise, it's movement. i too used to hate exercise and found it extremely painful and tedious and horrible. so instead of exercising i just started moving. i canceled my membership at the local dog bar, where i had been taking my dog almost every day to let him run off excess energy, and started talking short walks with him twice a day instead. if you don’t have a dog, offer to walk your friends’ dogs—trust me they will lose their MINDS with joy lol. i think that starting to build in regular walks is the best way to get active again, because walking is typically quite pleasant and it becomes positively reinforcing to like, wave at the same neighbors every day, and see the cute kids next door running around, and notice all the ways that the trees and flowers are changing, and so on.

if you do not find being outside inherently pleasurable (sometimes i do not lol esp if i’m grumpy about having to walk the dog), tie another pleasurable activity to your daily walk. i listen to about six hours’ worth of hockey podcasts a week and i am only allowed to listen to them on my walks, so i end up looking forward to the walk because i’m desperate to hear people talk about My Guys. you can also walk with friends, or call a friend while you’re walking, which is even better than podcasts!! social walks are so much fun and go by so much more quickly. i started out just doing daily 15 min walks, and over the past couple years have built up to walking between 60-90 min a day when i’m at home. sometimes i hate/dread my walk; sometimes i love it and look forward to it. but regardless of how i’m feeling, i do it every day and if i miss it once, i don’t miss it a second time. 

as far as activity goes, i think it’s totally ok to just be a person who walks a lot! but i’ve found that becoming someone who walked a lot helped change my own narrative of myself—I started to think of myself as a walker, an active person who moved a lot every day. and that made it easier to pick up other forms of activity too, or at least to adopt a curious, exploratory attitude towards other forms of movement. also once you start tracking your active minutes you tend to get quite competitive about it! or at least i do, lol. i keep a note on my phone where i write down the date + type of activity + total number of minutes I did after every burst of activity, then at the end of the week i add it all up and compare it to the previous weeks. it makes me want to do more, to beat my own numbers—or it makes me want to keep up a streak (like, if i have a five-week period where i’ve consistently hit a certain level of active minutes every week, i don’t want to break it!!).

my biggest suggestion for exercise, though, is to figure out what kinds of things you enjoy and what kinds of things you don’t, and then to spend all your time doing things you like. i HATE structured fitness classes and workout videos. i hate them so much!!!!!!!! but i love being outside, i love doing solo activities (as opposed to group workouts), and i love doing any form of movement that doesn’t feel like a Planned Workout, capital w. also becoming a hockey fan got me really interested in skating, so i picked up rollerblades and found that to be amazingly fun too (something i can do outside AND something that feels like gliding around effortlessly AND something that makes me feel closer to My Favorite Guys!!!!). you may not have passionate feelings about hockey fandom as i do, but i think it’s really just about being creative—finding a creative way to link something you don’t love to something you do love, or find pleasurable, so that you can start forging those positive associations. 

i spent my first couple years of being more active just walking walking walking, and then this past year during the pandemic when i really ramped up my movement i added in longer walks, hikes, and rollerblading, and i also looked for ways to “habit-stack,” ie attaching an activity i don’t much care for (running; exercise biking indoors; doing squats and lunges) to one i do enjoy (i take my tennis shoes when i go skating and then go for a run immediately afterwards, before i have time to talk myself out of it). there are still all kinds of things i don’t do—i really don’t love strength training + bodyweight exercises yet, and i hate stretching even though I Know I Should, and i know that if i want to get stronger and faster, or build up my endurance, i will eventually need to introduce some element of structured training into my daily movement.

BUT the idea of making those changes seems kind of cool to me now, instead of Horrifying and Dread-Inducing! i feel like all the positive associations i’ve forged have made me more curious and open to ideas i would’ve resisted with my whole being not all that long ago. i found a way to make movement pleasurable, and then (thanks to sports fandom + my tendency to go down research rabbitholes) i found a way to get myself intellectually and emotionally engaged in the general concept of being a highly active person. for me, that combination of real pleasure + intellectual/emotional stimulation is what i personally need to build & maintain good habits.

(also, just shoehorning this in at the end because i like it: the “it’s movement, not exercise” mindset shift was also really helpful to me because it stopped me from thinking of exercise as like, this highly structured, regimented, torturous thing you forced yourself through for a set period of time each day, and helped me instead think of movement as something that humans are designed to do & to naturally enjoy. instead of Forcing Myself to Exercise, i looked for more natural-feeling forms of movement that didn’t feel so artificially divided from my “real life.” i think that helped with reframing my self-narrative, too! it made being active feel more integrated into my daily life, which in turn made it easier to think of myself as an active person, someone for whom movement was just a normal part of daily life and not a thing i had to psych myself up to do every day.)

(5) it takes time to build good habits, but not nearly as much time as you might think, and eventually you stop thinking about how long you’ve been doing something and you just start enjoying it (ie it becomes a genuine change in your lifestyle/thinking, not an artificial thing you have to work hard every day to maintain).

i am not yet AN ATHLETE and may never be, but i often remind myself that it took me a little under 30 years to build up a PROFOUND aversion to exercise, so it’s actually kind of miraculous that in just two years i’ve become someone who genuinely, earnestly, enthusiastically enjoys being active and feels antsy/weird/restless when i can’t get out of the house and move. every small stride i’ve made has strengthened my trust in myself and helped me reframe the narrative i tell myself about what kind of person i am and what i do/don’t do. every time i do the thing (whether it’s exercising or making a delicious healthy dinner) & happily notice myself doing it, i reaffirm to myself that i’m the kind of person who takes care of my body and mind by eating well and spending lots of time moving outside. (as a side benefit, when i spend a lot of time happily noticing things and speaking encouragingly to myself, i also reaffirm to myself that i am a happy person who treats myself kindly and who is always eagerly seeking out experiences that feel joyful and life-affirming.)

plus, the more often you do something, the more opportunities you have to have positive experiences while doing it! not every walk is AMAZING, LIFE-CHANGING, DEEPLY FULFILLING, but like, if i am walking seven days a week, that’s seven opportunities for something cool or fun to happen on a walk (not to mention seven opportunities to reap all the physiological & emotional well-being benefits of exercise!!). and if i am really conscious and intentional about noticing and actively delighting in those positive experiences, i help wire in those positive associations more deeply, and my brain/body increasingly comes to associate movement with happiness, joy, and fulfillment. as the habit of being more active becomes fulfilling in and of itself, i don’t have to expend as much energy tricking or cajoling or bribing myself into doing it.

*

i hope this helps!! i am literally always happy to write extremely long essays in respond to simple anon questions, lol, so if you want to talk more about your own ideas for building better habits please do share!! i can also rec you specific books that i’ve found really useful—both for just like, helping me figure out how to make big changes, and also for providing that intellectual stimulation that gets me more engaged in wanting to eat well & be more active.

(also, on the extremely slim chance that you are also a hockey fan: over in my fandom sphere, we are organizing a fun summer thing inspired by one of our fave hockey players, where we’ll be planning lots of fun fannish community things to get ourselves moving this summer. it’s going to be a good time!!)

[lightphieric]

Okay, I gotta rant for a little bit. There’s a YouTuber I really like who played 999 and Virtue’s Last Reward a while ago. I did not watch these playthroughs; I started, but stopped for a few reasons - I didn’t really like the friend he played them with, they were being really ableist about Snake (”We don’t want to go through a door with the blind guy, he’s gonna be useless.”), and there was overall just way too much complaining and criticism of what was at that time (and I guess still is) a pretty overwhelming hyperfixation.

So no, I didn’t finish watching his playthroughs, but I know he didn’t like the games - which is fine, you’re allowed to not like things. And I don’t totally disagree with him about certain things - like I say in my pinned post, the Zero Escape series is kind of silly and goofy and a lot of fans take it a little too seriously. What bothers me is how he constantly brings up Zero Escape and how much he dislikes it outside the context of those playthroughs. There have been several times I’ve been watching a Let’s Play of a completely unrelated game and have been slapped across the face by him bringing up Zero Escape just to make fun of it. I don’t listen to his podcast, but he did an episode titled “Worst Games Ever” and the thumbnail was a screenshot from 999 so. That was fun to see in my subscription box and recommended to me repeatedly for weeks.

And then this week, he reaches a subscriber milestone - which is great, I’m very happy for him - but this is how he announces it:

Why is there a picture of Junpei there? What kind of game are you playing with me, Keith? Are you going to play Zero Time Dilemma? I am begging you not to do that. If you don’t like the other two you are not going to like this one and you shouldn’t have to play games you know you won’t like, and more importantly than that, if you do play ZTD and hate it, you’re never going to shut up about it again and that will make me sad.

BTW, highly recommend Keith Ballard, one of the smartest, most thoughtful and analytical Let’s Players out there, perhaps second only to Materwelonz. Zero Escape fans just have caution.

[hungwy]

Hi 👋🏼 I was wondering if it’s not too much trouble you might share your preferred resources when it comes to Japanese grammar? Kanji I feel like I’m making great progress with using Wanikani but grammar has ended up being much more difficult for me. Imabi has been helpful as well as Tofugu, watching Japanese Ammo as well since her teaching style kinda works with my adhd brain. How do you feel about the Genki books? Is there anything specific you might recommend? (sorry to bother btw)

(I love when people ask me this stuff since at one point I wanted to go into language education lol)

Imabi is great, Japanese Ammo is great; please try 三本塾 and 日本語の森 for more native speakers explaining stuff :)

I used the Genki books for two years in college. It’s organized well, introducing new grammar and vocab with (usually) relatable real-life scenarios. I hear it’s a decent study-by-yourself textbook but you should definitely look around the r/learnjapanese subreddit for better opinions than mine. The traditional route is Genki I + workbook --> Genki II + workbook --> Tobira Advanced Japanese, which will get you to about mid or high N3-level, which means decent conversational skills. All together these cost almost $200 but they ARE pretty good... Find your way around the price, if you’d like, but honestly ~$45 for a textbook is amazing for the quality (I paid $100 for a german textbook for school... was mad about that). I think it’s pretty easy to find introductory grammar stuff so there’s not too much to fuss about. Most textbooks, online or physical, will get you where you want to be in terms of passive knowledge.

The thing about learning Japanese (and any language) is that you kind of need to make that knowledge active. Reading, writing, listening, speaking, everything. I hate to sound like some kind of “gatekeeper” for learners but if you let Japanese be a side project you do flashcards with sometimes you will be an eternal beginner, always wading at the edge of the pool and never learning to swim. I suggest Steve Kaufmann on YT for more info on language learning theory.

Reason for learning is really important too. You need to personally relate yourself to learning it. If you already have that, awesome. But if you don’t, seriously consider how you’ll keep yourself focused on learning. During the final weeks of class in my second year of Japanese our professor asked us students why we were learning the language. She said that if you don’t have a strong reason to learn it, you will never have the ambition to actually become fluent. And she was right, because the people who had weak reasons really, really struggled (mostly the people saying their reason was anime...), and those people quit the following year after they got their language credits. These days I have quite a few reasons to continue learning it, and that keeps me afloat.

If you choose to really take Japanese on I literally cannot stress enough how important it is to consume media in Japanese, REAL Japanese (not anime or manga). I’ve seen people suggest radio/podcasts and streamers as probably the most natural accessible materials. Moreover, you need to shadow their speech to learn natural intonation, rhythm, and phrasing. If you can afford a vetted tutor they would be more than worth your time, as well. I highly suggest you do one of those “30-day record yourself speaking daily” challenges once you’re semi-comfortable with speaking using basic grammar.

Those have been my thoughts about learning Japanese lately, anyway. Honestly the internet is ripe with resources and you shouldn’t worry too much about whatever you choose. Make sure to cross-reference grammar with sites like Tae Kim or Imabi since no textbook is perfect in its execution. anyway, that's all! Good luck, have fun.

[faded-florals]

hi i just stumbled upon your blog (love your gifs btw) because right after seeing POTO @ RAH for the first time, the moment i laid my eyes on hadley, i was hooked right away and went on to do some research and your blog is helping me :D thank you~

Hello and thank you! I sometimes wonder, is this a POTO blog or a Hadley blog? I guess it’s both, with a good bit of crossover. Hopefully my followers don’t mind too much when I gush about him... which is often. 😅

It’s so nice to hear my blog has been helpful to you! There are many better resources out there for POTO related content, but I do think I’m one of the only few to regularly post about Raoul and/or Hadley. (PLEASE if you know of more, tell me! I’d love to follow them too!) I spend a lot of time talking about and making content regarding the 25th anniversary performance at The Royal Albert Hall but I’m by no means an expert, though I think I make up for some of that with enthusiasm!

I keep up to date on Hadley by following his Twitter mainly, as that’s where he posts most frequently, but he also has an Instagram. The rest just comes from taking in every bit of content I can find on him, from articles, Youtube videos, podcasts, official filmography, not-so-official bootlegs and so on. If you want some really great Hadley content, I highly recommend his podcast from 2018 “Poddin’ on the Ritz” with Ross Noble, as well as the pro recordings from the plays he’s been in from the Donmar Warehouse including Coriolanus, Saint Joan, and The Vote. He’s also fantastic in Kenneth Branagh’s The Winter’s Tale.

I’m not so sure you were talking about research for Hadley or POTO, but thank you for stopping by, you’re welcome and happy watching! 😄✨

[scarletwelly-boots]

Books Read 2020

I started off really good this year, what with quarantine and all. And then I got sidetracked by reading one hundred and forty-nine fanfics (and counting) (mostly Destiel; CW can kiss my ass). 

I read 30 books this year, which I thought was bad, but apparently I only read 24 last year, so not awful. I did the Popsugar reading challenge for the fifth year. There were 50 categories this year, so 60% isn’t too bad. So without further ado, let’s get started under the cut.

1. The Mermaid, The Witch, and the Sea, Maggie Tokuda-Hall (a book that’s published in 2020). This book, y’all. My god. It has it all: pirates, queer relationships, genderfluid characters, an intense plot. This book was so good. I definitely recommend this book. Pirates!!! And gay!

2. Somebody Told Me, by Mia Siegert (a book by a trans or nonbinary author). I don’t know how Siegert identifies, but I know they use they/them pronouns. This book was... okay but frustrating. A bigender teen, Aleks/Alexis, has a traumatic experience and moves in with their aunt and uncle, who is a newly converted Catholic priest. I liked the queer rep, but sometimes it felt like the author had these assumptions or prejudices about the Catholic church. Some of them were right, granted, and I’m not a practicing Catholic anymore so I don’t know why it pissed me off, but it bugged me anyway. So I guess if you don’t mind it seeming like the author did little to no research on Catholicism, then it’s a good book.

3. All the King’s Men, by Nora Sakavic (a bildungsroman). Who, me? Rereading my gay comfort trilogies during quarantine? It’s more likely than you think. Love the All for the Game trilogy. This is the third book in the series. It’s the best book in the trilogy. It is a series about a college sports team who play a made up sport called Exy, which is basically a more violent version of lacrosse. I’m not a huge sports fan, but the way she writes Exy matches had me on the edge of my seat. The team is made up of all “at-risk” students, the main character being a kid on the run from his mob boss dad. Trigger warning for the series for violence, sexual assault/rape, abuse, drug use, I may be missing some things. It was so good though.

4. Captive Prince, by C.S.Pacat (a book with a map). Back again with the gay comfort trilogies. This is the first book in the Captive Prince trilogy, and whoops, did I say love All For the Game? Love this series more. It’s awesome. It’s fantasy and gay and romantic. But the romance isn’t even the central part. Laurent is my favorite asshole. Damen is so sweet and sassy as fuck. HIGHLY RECOMMEND. Seriously. I can’t do this series justice.

5. The Foxhole Court, by Nora Sakavic (a book recommended by your favorite blog, vlog, podcast, or online book club). First book in the All for the Game series. What are you still doing here? Go start this trilogy!

6. Ella Enchanted, by Gail Carson Levine (a book that passes the bechdel test). This is such a good book. It was one of my favorite books when I was a kid. It’s basically a retelling of Cinderella, and if you’ve seen the movie version with Anne Hathaway, the book is way, way better. 

7. Loki: The God Who Fell to Earth, by Oscar Basaldua (a book with the same title as a movie or TV show but is unrelated to it). God, I cannot WAIT for the Loki show. Anyway, this is a new comic about Loki (obviously). I love anything with my disaster wife in it, so 100% I recommend it. 

8. As Drowning Men Clutch at Straws, by EA Roisin (a book by an author with flora or fauna in their name). Okay, so. Roisin is an Irish name that means rose, and EA Roisin is my (unpublished) pen name. In my defense, the manuscript is 186 pages long and it felt like an accomplishment when I finally finished rereading it for the first time since I finished it in 2015. Do I recommend it? I’ll let you know if it ever gets published.

9. Red White and Royal Blue, by Casey McQuiston (a book that won an award in 2019). I’m still rereading this book. I got interrupted because my sister wanted to read it and then I got a new book for my birthday. But this is, far and away, my FAVORITE BOOK. It’s so beautiful. It was very romantic (once they stopped “hating” each other), and gay. The premise sounds far-fetched: First Son of the United States falls for the Crown Prince of England. But, guys, it’s soooo gooooood. Highly, highly, highly recommend. 

10. A Beautifully Foolish Endeavor, by Hank Green (a book with only words on the cover, no images or graphics). This is the sequel to An Absolutely Remarkable Thing. This was just as great as the first, but I spent a good chunk of the book vibrating with anxiety. The stakes were way higher, and I don’t think I’ve been scared while reading a book since reading Jade Green (Phyllis Reynolds Naylor) in junior high (which was fucking terrifying, btw). But I definitely recommend it!

11. Crush, by Richard Siken (a book with a pun in the title). Guys. I read this book almost every year, because it’s quick and gorgeous and the title is accurate because it absolutely crushes me. This is a collection of LGBT (more specifically, gay) poetry, and OH MY GOD. This is in my top five favorite books. I read it all the time. This is the book that made me fall in love with poetry, back in high school.

12. The Raven King, by Nora Sakavic (a book with a bird on the cover). The second book in the All for the Game series. Trigger warnings for All the King’s Men apply to this one, too. 

13. 1014: Brian Boru, by Morgan Llewelyn (a fiction or nonfiction book about a world leader). If you know me, you know I’m a complete Irish history nerd. This book is about a very important battle that took place in Ireland, and the last great High King of Ireland, Brian Boru. High Kings are mostly just an elected title, who get paid via taxes from provincial kings and chieftains, but Brian was the only one who saw as close to a united, free Ireland as it got until 1921 (although since the island is split between the North and the Republic, it’s still not totally unified). I recommend if you like history.

14. The Magnolia Sword, by Sherry Thomas (a book by a WOC). Oh. My. God. So this is a retelling of the ballad of Mulan. Mulan is a very important story to me anyway (tomboy as a child, genderfluid, bisexual as fuck), and this retelling was so good and interesting. It also features one of my favorite tropes, Surprise Gays. I highly, highly recommend.

15. My Own Ways Through This Life, by Chris Viau (a book with at least a four-star rating on Goodreads). Okay, so it miiiight have a four-star rating because of me and my camp family all rating it, but it counts. This is a mixed media autobiography by one of my camp friends. He has written at least three books, and all are available on Amazon. This is the only one I’ve read so far, and it was really interesting. I definitely recommend it. 

16. Insomniac City, by Bill Hayes (a book you meant to read in 2019). This book was beautiful and heartbreaking. It was a Christmas gift from my brother. It’s a memoir about Bill’s time in a relationship with Oliver Sacks, a famous neurologist. It’s sweet and melancholic and funny. Huge recommendation.

17. Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens’ Agenda, by Becky Albertalli (a book about or involving social media). Still such a wonderful book. Better than the movie, I’m telling you. It was really good, and I definitely cried. If you liked the movie, read the book. It’s different in several ways. I think if you’re thinking in terms of trueness to the book, the movie was maybe not as good, but they’re both good as their own standalone things. But I highly recommend both.

18. Loki: Agent of Asgard, by Jason Ewing (a book that has a book on the cover). This is such a good series. It’s a great characterization of my disaster wife.  I love this graphic novel series. I love how they depict Loki, how he finally gets a goddamn redemption arc. It’s a really fun read. Check it out.

19. Kings Rising, by CS Pacat (a book with a made up language). This is pushing it, since they never actually speak in the made up languages on paper. But UGH. Third book in the Captive Prince trilogy, and hands down the best. Laurent and Damen finally let go of the goddamn longing and actually do something about it.

20. The Deep, by Rivers Solomon (a book set in a country beginning with C). This is pushing it, because it’s about mermaids (basically), but I think they’re in the Caribbean. I loved this book. It was so interesting. It’s based on a song by clipping., Daveed Diggs’s group. The premise is the wajinru (the mermaid people) originated as the infants from pregnant Africans that died and were thrown overboard during the slave trade. So like, it’s a pretty heavy book. But it’s heartfelt and sweet, too. Also more Surprise Gays, which came at an excellent time (November, post-Supernatual finale) for me. I highly recommend.

21. Written in the Stars, by Alexandria Bellefleur (a book you picked because the title caught your attention). I just finished this book tonight and it was so. good. It’s basically a modern, lesbian, fake dating rendering of Pride and Prejudice. And let me tell you, if there’s one thing I love more than Pride and Prejudice, it’s lesbians. It’s really really great. I highly, highly recommend. 

22. Running with Lions, by Julian Winters (a book with a three-word title). Thanks to All for the Game and movies like Handsome Devil and Boys, I have discovered that I have a huge thing for queer sport stories. So this book was really, really good. It’s got friends to enemies to friends to lovers, which is great. It’s got soccer, which is way more homoerotic now. And it’s got gays, which is really why I picked this book up. But it’s well written and the story is interesting, too. I definitely recommend.

23. The Prince and the Dressmaker, by Jen Wang (a book with a pink cover). Oh my god. AHHHHH!!! This book is amazing. It’s a graphic novel, so it’s a quick read. It’s fantasy and feels a little Cinderella-y, but that’s not the best part. The queer relationship is amazing, but that’s not the best part. The prince is genderfluid! Like me! And his mask name is Sebastian! Like me! (Okay, so my name is Bastien, but close enough) This was so so so good. I got it at a convention in February, and I was practically vibrating with excitement as I read it. I highly highly highly recommend. 

24. Girl Crushed, by Katie Heaney (a book by or about a journalist). I think I’d have liked this book better if it wasn’t so...similar to my life. The main premise is the main character is getting over a sudden and painful break up, after being dumped by her long-term (maybe first? I can’t remember) girlfriend. The ex has the same initials as my ex and acted very similarly, so maybe I ended up picturing her when the character came up in the book. The ending pissed me off. It was very gay and that wasn’t the entirety of the book, so maybe you’ll like it more than me. It was just too true to life for me and opened up some old wounds I didn’t want to open up. The author is an editor at Buzzfeed, so that’s how it fits into this category. 

25. Date Me, Bryson Keller, by Kevin van Whye (your favorite prompt from a past POPSUGAR Reading Challenge--a book published this year). This might be my second or third favorite book, goddamn it’s that good. It’s queer, obviously, and sort of fake dating? Bryson is dared to date someone new each week. He’s assumed to be straight, so all the people he dates are girls until Kai asks him. It’s really sweet, and there’s some issues with coming out to your family that don’t always sit well with me, but overall it was really good and it ends well. I definitely recommend.

26. Loki: Where Mischief Lies, by Mackenzi Lee (a book written by an author in their 20s). AAAHHHH!!!! Fuckin.... Okay, y’all know I have feelings about Loki. He’s my spouse and I love him to death. This book was so, so good. Loki gets sent to Victorian London to solve a mystery and meets a group of humans who know about Asgard and basically keep Midgard in order for Odin. Loki is canonically pan and genderfluid (as he should be), and Theo is a sweetheart. I wrote a 10k fic coming out of reading this book (Phantom Limb by Irishavalon on AO3, check it out.). I seriously recommend!

27. Because of Winn-Dixie, by Kate DiCamillo (a book by an author who has written more than 20 books). I read this with my third graders at the beginning of this year. Such a good book. I read it as a kid too. The movie is great but as always, book is better. Recommend.

28. Adventures of Charls, the Veretian Cloth Merchant, by CS Pacat (a book with more than 20 letters in its title). This was a reread of a short story that comes after the Captive Prince trilogy. Charls, the cloth merchant, was such a great side character in the CP trilogy, and telling the story from his perspective was great. It doesn’t have to be read after the other CP short stories, but at least the trilogy should be read first.

29. Fence vol.1, by CS Pacat (a book from a series with more than 20 books). I’m pushing it with this category. I read the first volume, but this is a comic book series, so the 20 books is more issues. This is very good too. It’s another gay sports story, and is probably going to be enemies to lovers, but they’re still enemies by the end of volume 1. Still recommend. 

30. Prince’s Gambit, by CS Pacat (a book with a main character in their 20s). Book 2 of the Captive Prince trilogy. Very very good. 

[ryanberga]

TMA has 5 seasons. One season = 40 episodes one episodes = let just say 30 minutes. One week = 8 days. 40 : 8 = 5 episodes. 5 × 30 minutes = 150 minutes = 2 and a half hours ( or idk 3 hours.). So TECHNICALLY i can finish TMA by the 5th week or atleast 1 month plus a week. Yes, i want to actually finish this. Cause i really love your reaction it made it seem so interesting. Also i went anon im afraid that my math is wrong. If my math wrong. Ryan ghost wrote this. I went off anon if im right.

From that tma math ask, yes i know there is a non cannon also q&a but im talking about the cannon one btw. Still it might be wrong ahskdldl-

omg FIRST OF ALL i'm no mathematician so i'm not gonna double check your work here lmaoo except to point out that a week is 7 days not 8?? also most episodes are closer to 15-25 minutes, very few are actually 30 mins or over! but if you want to listen to the magnus archives you definitely should! i think dedicating a couple of hours to it a day or setting a goal of listening to a few eps a day would be a good idea to get thru it quickly especially for the first season or two because you don't really see the meta plot much until the end of season 2/season 3 iirc. season 1 took me forever to get through because i wasn't too invested in it yet, but after season 2 i became addicted and listened to it literally whenever i was able to. so definitely keep that in mind if you don't feel like you vibe with the first season, just stick around and see if things improve in season 2 because everything does connect together and form a much bigger plot that you initially think

SECOND, i'm not sure if you mean you want to finish it in 5 weeks or if you want to finish it before the 5th season is over? but either way, the 5th season finale (and the grand finale!) isn't set to air until march, so you have plenty of time to catch up, don't feel like you're in any rush!! enjoy it for what it is instead of trying to meet a deadline :)

THIRD, i'm glad you enjoyed me crying over tma ahsjdks it was so much fun listening to it and tbh not at all what i expected it to be when i first started it. it's definitely the most interesting fiction podcast i've ever tried listening to, it's got horror and mystery and a great complex meta plot and emotional depth and great characters and wonderful character dynamics and explores really complex issues (such as morality, mental illness, trauma, etc etc), and it's also got great social commentary and draws fantastic parallels to real-life situations. i promise you, it's so much more interesting than i could put into words

and LASTLY, i'm not exactly sure what you mean by non-canon q&a? i'm not in the tma fandom or anything so idk all the ins and outs of it, but i know alex (the director of tma and the voice actor for martin) and jonathan (the writer and the voice actor for jon) do a q&a after every season ends, and those are all "canon" (unless they say otherwise, which they have done). regardless, while the q&a's are not at all necessary to listen to, they are HIGHLY interesting and i'd definitely recommend you listen to them when you're done with the corresponding season! not only do they answer some questions about things you might have missed otherwise, but they also go into their creative processes and talk about behind the scenes stuff, which is super fascinating. not to mention, alex & jonathan have a great dynamic and are very fun to listen to, you can tell that they mesh really well and are very good friends :)

sorry this answer got so long but uhh tl;dr this is my plea to all of you to please listen to the magnus archives🥺

[evilelitest2]

I really liked your ideas about defining Nazi socialism. Do you have a book or article recommendation to follow up on it? I'm especially curious as to the nazi conceptions of capitalism and the coopting of socialism as a far-right movement. (I'm not being a dick. I'm just also a history major who wants to know.)

Oh no you aren’t being a dick, asking for sources is never a problem.  Anything for a fellow history major 

A great podcast I listend too can be the “Chariots of Fire” episode on Hardcore History which talk about this in the first half 

https://dchhaddendum.libsyn.com/ep7-hardcore-history-on-fire 

The best book on the Nazi Economic System is Wages of Destruction, an absolutely fantastic book which also puts lie to the notion of the Nazis as a highly competent while in reality they were pretty dismal as a goverment 

The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich: A history of Nazi Germany talks about the ideological foundations of the movement. German Big Buisness and the Rise of Hitler talks about the connection between Hitelr and capitalism.  Hitler: A Biography by Ian Kershaw talks about Hitler’s personal beliefs, which were extremely inconsistent, and The Coming of the Third Reich which talks about the larger political world of the Weimar Republic 

For primary sources, you reid Mein Kampf, if you can bear it, where Hitler quite openly says “I hate socalism and am co-opting their images for the lolzs” (paraphazed), or his May 1930 debate with Otto Strasser.  Or Hitlers 1923 interview tih George Sylvester Viereeck (a shit head if there ever was btw), or the 1920 Program of the German Worker’s Program (all of the links to these soureces are in this article here)

And of course Umberto Echo’s essay “Ur Fascism” which I can’t recommend enough 

To me the much more interesting debate is ‘were the Nazis Capitalists”, which I say no they weren’t but unlike the aformentioned socialist question that is at least something you can debate about

Happy research :) and i’m glad you liked the post 

Edit: If you want to look at the co-option of leftism in particular, do some reading on the Strasser Brothers and Ernst Rohmn, the Nazi leaders who were more open to left wing ideas, even if they were still anti semetic shit heads 

[bookenders]

WIP Blind Date Spinoff: How to Save the World in 12 Easy Steps

[Do you wanna read another amazing WIP? Do a spinoff!]

First Spinoff Date! Yay! I rolled the dice (literally) and got @cookiecuttercritters Fantasy/Scifi Kitchen sink slash Slice of Life screenplay.

Here’s the Blind Date Intro post - I highly recommend checking it out.

Now, on with the show!

[I read up to ep. 5, btw! It’s fantastic! Everyone go read it right now!]

General impression of WIP: Title, yes. WIP intro, yes. Concept, yesss. This is my exact brand of weird bonkers shenanigans. I can totally see this being sold as a script book; it’s ripe for the imagining.

Character intros in the script are solid. Not sure how formatting works for alien-ish characters, but I think you nailed it. (I come from the desert and have seen news stations fry eggs on car hoods and bake car cookies, so the opening made me chuckle.) I think I might be the target audience for this kind of story because I love me a good cliche/genre trope giggle served with a dollop of the absurd.

It kinda reminds me of Futurama, actually, the way everything is set up visually. And I love it.

Favorite part of WIP: The visual puns (and just puns in general) are great. The sidewalk eggs not being fried right before the cutaway, EXIT PURSUED BY BEAR (Shakespeare nerd is appeased), the Clark Kent reference, all of the subverted and poked-fun-at tropes and stereotypes, I love ‘em all.

I wish I could tell you every single one I loved, but that’d just be a really long list of out of context jokes. Which would be a sin, because you should really read the pages to experience them at full pun strength. 

A compliment about writing style: Dude. The dialogue? Quirky, snappy, and fun. Your style really lends itself to self-awareness, too, which is perfect for this kind of humor writing that evolves into something bigger than it started as. 

Favorite character: John Smith! I’m a sucker for the everyman. And he’s serving such a crucial role in this story: he’s the litmus test. He’s the guy you look at to remember that oh, no, normal exists and it’s not this dude. And of course he’s the Chosen One’s go-to guy. 

And I see that his role gets a lot more complicated as the story goes on. I, for one, am psyched to see where he ends up in the grand scheme of things.

A post that I liked a lot: Just one? Ugh, fine. This art is gorgeous and I really get a feel for her character! Also, all the episode posts. Because they’re excellent.

What I’m looking forward to seeing next: I really wanna finish the whole season and learn more about how everyone is connected. The plot you’re weaving is intricate and intriguing as hell. I wanna see where this goes!

Anything else?:

If you don’t have a copy already, I recommend picking up The Screenwriter’s Bible. I had to read it for two of my film classes and it’s a lifesaver (another is Story by Robert McKee, which is more popular and well-known and works as a writing guidebook too!). 

I’m not sure what medium you’re going for - like, podcast or tv serial or web series or what have you, and a lot of scripting advice will be only relative to that medium, and my experience is with feature/short film and television series, so I can’t really comment on that. 

If you want more nitty-gritty commentary/concrit, shoot me a message! I know a lot of people don’t like that kind of thing being public. 😊

[scrawnydutchman]

Why “Super Best Friends Play” is the Hypest Let’s Play Channel on Youtube

Let’s players are a popular, albeit divisive lot on youtube. On one hand, many go on record saying the Let’s Play format is cheap, lazy and maybe even a bit exploitative, as when it comes down to it it’s basically just some random people playing a game you could play yourself instead. On the other hand, many others love Let’s Players because they think there’s something endearing about seeing other people experience the things you love in their own unique way and it’s a very down to earth way to get to know some of your favorite online personalities. So where do I land on this? Well, I think Let’s Play is like any other format in that there’s a right and wrong way to do it. If you fall into basic tropes you can tend to blend in with other generic personalities in your field. If you do it, you gotta have a charm and an appeal that really stands out and can grow a dedicated fan base if not a particularly large one. That’s where Super Best Friends come in. I’ve been following the shenanigans of Matt, Pat & Woolie (and for a time Liam) ever since I first saw the Machinima episode on Spider-Man games I’ve had years of entertainment that both genuinely intrigues me on some solid game design and makes me laugh to tears. The Best Friends Zaibatsu are some of the earliest pioneers of the “group” format of Let’s Play in the same vain as Game Grumps, Achievement Hunter and Funhaus, where the appeal is not in a single persons interaction with a game but in a groups interaction with both the game and each other. It reignites the feelings of playing alongside a good friend and having some laughs fucking around with a videogame. But even with the charming concept of watching some good friends bond over their love for media, it wouldn’t work if important elements weren’t in play. Super Best Friends Play is the hypest Let’s Play channel on youtube for the following reasons: They have distinct likable personalities, they give genuinely interesting insight on the games they play, they’re downright hilarious, they genuinely put in effort for their presentation and they use their means to hugely benefit other communities.

Likable Personalities

The format of group let’s play is arguably a completely different ballpark than just doing a let’s play by yourself because it conveys a different challenge. The challenge is to be entertaining as part of a group, NOT to be funny on your own. It’s easier said than done because there are many cases in which one member receives way too much attention or another is becoming increasingly toxic. It’s why removing and adding new members to your group can be such a risky move for your fan communities; the chemistry of the group becomes completely different (Dan-era Game Grumps is an entirely different beast from Jon-era Game Grumps). Luckily the Best Friends have wonderful chemistry with each other that never gets old. Matt’s always the endearing leading man with the golden laugh, bottomless bag of Simpsons references and hilariously derailing one liners. Pat always brings his deadpan wit and sarcastic tone (and makes for a great straight man as a result). Woolie is the Zaibatsu’s hype man; knowing how to make any epic moment a million times better with his reactions. Former member Liam was often the quiet sensible one but when he got a laugh MAN was it a big laugh. They’re all such colliding personalities but they come together in such an endearing way that makes the whole experience lovable but not overbearing. These guys are a fundamental part of my sense of humor today. It’s the reason that unlike other let’s play series on Youtube the Zaibatsu let’s plays have great rewatch value. It also helps that they actually complete most of the playthroughs they start (cough *Game Grumps* cough). Whether they’re referencing old media, getting hype over a great game moment, laughing their asses off or are getting in stupid arguments (I recommend the “shitting pants” argument from the L.A. Noire series) watching the Best Friends is always a great time.

Great Insight on Games

So remember that old anti Let’s Play argument about how commentating over recorded game play is so easy anyone can do it? Well, I have a rebuttal. Yes, anyone can do it . . . that doesn’t mean everyone SHOULD do it. Aside from personality being a driving incentive for anyone to sit through a 10 minute video of some random person playing Detroit: Become Human, one would argue you should also present some knowledge of the game you’re playing. Otherwise it doesn’t matter what game you’re playing; there’s nothing distinguishing one let’s play series from another. Every episode of Conan O’Brien’s Clueless Gamer is just Conan’s unfunny improv set to canned audience laughter as he does a show out of necessity and not out of passion. Not knowing about the game can also cause other impeding issues such as the series taking forever to progress or the player becoming unlikable as they disregard fundamental aspects of the game (DarkSydePhil). When it comes to knowing something about the games they play, Super Best Friends not only express intoxicating passion for the medium but also express some applied knowledge on game design which makes for more interesting commentary. It’s very appropriate since the lot have been game testers on a number of titles. Whenever they have something to say about how to activate bugs, tight controls, decent polish on mechanics or even how well the games narrative is woven into the gameplay it teaches me a little more about how the medium works. They’re also clearly very passionate about their favorite franchises, such as Matt’s take on the Final Fight series above (I recommend you check out all of the Best Friends independent channels btw, which I will link to below):

Matt: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiP_FwGyJQ_6P8k5ON5mncQ

Pat: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCpmNJI_KhjkpXw1UPmtC3-Q

Woolie: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCyOJzQzyDGihKpTO3-zyhYg

Liam: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7zkWVkHBSMGpfHVgaFqr1A

They’re Downright Hilarious

I really don’t have a lot to say here. I know humor is largely subjective and these guys spout so many obscure references you may not even get a lot of them, but . . .goddamn . . I don’t think anybody on the entirety of Youtube has made me laugh as hard or as consistently as these guys. For the best of the best, I recommend their Spider-Man Machinima episode (my introduction to them), the Punch Out Outtakes (which oddly enough is funnier than the actual episode) Their L.A. Noire playthrough, Their Punisher Playthrough and their Gang Beasts Fisticuffs. You can see all you need to know about their chemistry, wit and delivery. Links to all below

Spider-Man: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gea09ImEtmM

Punch-Out!!: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tOwQXNxcRRM

L.A. Noire: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-bPqjD_zg5g

Punisher: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wznGw9fJNCc

Gang Beasts: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GhFGjK_ZUEk

They Put In Effort For Their Presentation/They Largely Benefit Other Communities

*this is just one of many outstanding animated intros commissioned by Super Best Friends, courtesy of Volta Bass*

If there’s one thing I can always use as a defense for most Let’s Play internet celebrities, it’s that they use their means to really benefit other communities. Say what you want about Markiplier, but there’s a reason he was awarded celebrity of the year by the Make-a-Wish foundation. Say what you will about Ihascupquake but she played a fundamental role in launching Jaiden Animations very successful career. Needless to say the popularity of Let’s Players has had a hugely positive effect on countless communities and that’s something we could always use more of, especially in an age where a lot of role models are . . . not great.

Super Best Friends is not only a great example of this, but is probably the best example I can think of. Why? Because they do more to benefit both the indie game community and the animation community than any other let’s player despite being one of the smaller channels out there (criminally small I might add). T.E.C 3001, Skullgirls, Shovel Knight and Divekick ALL owe a great deal of their success to the Zaibatsu’s funding and influence and each game has some sort of mention of them attributed. Also, as an animator myself I HIGHLY appreciate the Zaibatsu for their regular employment of animation talent like 2Snacks, Plague of Gripes, CrankyConstruct and Volta Bass. Because of how much they hire such talent every new series has a stunningly gorgeous intro and outro for each episode. These guys are an indication that some Let’s Play Channels larger than them have to STEP UP THEIR GAME when it comes to hiring talent and making strides in the indie community. *P.S, if anyone in the Zaibatsu is reading this, I would be honored if you would have me do an animated intro/outro for a series. Just say the word and I’m there*. 

But their effort doesn’t stop at hiring other talent. They also do great in providing their own entertaining edited content. Just look at this intro they made for Saturday 

Morning Scrublords: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ljDcHWHKueM&t=286s

One will notice this hilarious intro is a parody of their already amazing intro for Friday Night Fisticuffs. And this isn’t the only variation of the intro they’ve ever done either. That’s what I like about these guys the most; they’re genuinely passionate about being entertaining. They aren’t just let’s players; they do a little but of everything from sketches to animated adventures to podcasts to livestreams. You can tell they have a huge blast doing all of it.

In conclusion, if anyone wants to start a genuinely entertaining Let’s Play Channel, they ought to take some notes from the Best Friends. They’re great because they diversify, they put their money and time into making great content, they have solid insight, clear passion and they’re goddamn hilarious. For these reasons, they will always be the HYPEST LET’S PLAY CHANNEL ON YOUTUBE.