#which ik ik fucked up
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my sister is eating disorderedly, and i dont know what to do
#ive been reading her diary#horrible i know#but i have just cause#and god the things she writes about herself are awful#shes just 15#like i never comment on her body or about what shes eating#and my parents arent the type to say eat less#but damn#i dont wanna say shes got anorexia because its not that bad yet#but shes talking about how fat she is how she wants a thigh gap and that she can only eat two meals a day#and its just so... sad#like i dont understand where it comes from#and i cant talk to her about it directly cause shell never trust me if ive read her diary#and we ae similarly brain damaged in the way that we lie with a straight face and then do our own thing#like. i am INCREDIBLE at hiding my own anorexia and i know that 100% cause everyones alsowas saying ohh haha [milo] is the one were sure#will never eat too little#which ik ik fucked up#but because of that im aware of 1. what to look for and 2. what not to say or do towards others#so ignoring MY issues - what can i fucking do?#not read her diary probably#but we dont really... talk#i dont know how
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the violence in bottoms (2023) is so satisfying in a way i don't really know how to put into words. somewhere between the violence against women that movies sometimes shy away from too much but also Lean Into a little too much (spectrum of either not depicting realistic violence/harassment due to discomfort with it or the "you can't hit her she's a girl!" concept vs gratuitous sensationalized violence). like it's that "boys will be boys" kind of roughhousing that girls are excluded from if the narrative frames them as too delicate / feminine / untouchable. and i see them beating the shit out of each other and it feels Good. they're not untouchable dolls nor are they objects to project malice and gratuitous violence onto! it's not even fully about the empowerment or seeing girls be able to fight back (which does feel amazing in its own right and the movie does a great job of delivering it) like even seeing like, idk black widow beat up a bunch of guys in a marvel movie doesn't feel the same as how bottoms does it. it feels unpolished and grounded and realistic and satisfying. #girlswillbegirls
#bottoms movie#bottoms 2023#reminds me of wrestling w kids in my neighborhood in my Yonder Days....#also makes me think of barbarian which i never stfu about and how violence against women is at the core of the plot but isnt depicted in a#nightmarishly gratuitous way—its still very in your face but i appreciate how they deliver it in a way that isnt sensationalizing it#sidenote such a good soundtrack i fucking love party 4 u#ik the hype has passed but i hope this stays as a classic romcom for its target audience in the future#i watched it w my friend and then rewatched mean girls after which still holds up for the most part#but bottoms deserves a slot in pop culture classics
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time for more soren character analysis:
petrine’s battle conversation with soren in chapter 23 has always been a favorite of mine, and now that i’m looking at it again i noticed a few extra details:
it’s important to mention that this battle takes place directly after ike and soren’s a-support, in which soren confesses he’s a branded and expects to be shunned, only for ike to tell him that it doesn’t matter and he wants soren to stay by his side regardless.
anyway, besides “Now let me show you true fear!” being a really hard line, it’s really cool to see how soren’s reaction to his branded status being pointed out changes so sharply over the course of a handful of chapters. i already analyzed his reaction to nasir’s betrayal where he’s agitated over the fact that he could have prevented it if nasir hadn’t threatened to reveal him being branded to the army, so seeing him being so confident in himself is great, and i’ll touch on why here.
one of the reasons i like to say the game treats ike and soren’s a-support as canon is actually this particular conversation. soren, having just been reassured that ike will always want him at his side regardless of who or what he is, now suddenly has had his biggest fear and insecurity taken off his back. he doesn’t need to hate himself for being branded because ike, the only person who’s ever truly mattered to soren, doesn’t care at all.
back to the conversation, soren’s judgment over the situation at hand is no longer clouded by his own self-loathing. instead of comparing them as branded and seeing himself as just as horrid and disgusting as petrine (tiger branded, fun fact), he’s able to instead compare them as individuals and realize that what he’s done up to that point will never measure up to the atrocities she’s committed. i think the best part personally is just how disgusted soren looks by the notion he and petrine are the same, because he’s right— him being cutthroat and pragmatic is nothing compared to everything petrine has done in daein’s name— and the fact he can clearly see this means that, for the very first time, he’s finally starting to heal from the mental wounds inflicted upon him by his childhood.
overall, i like this little nod to soren starting to learn to grow and change from who he was at the beginning of fe9. it’s more clearly seen in radiant dawn, where he’s calmer to the point ranulf even comments on it, but these little inklings implying the start of soren’s healing are really cool to see.
#this amount of information in just two lines of dialogue is so good i can hardly stand it#funny enough i almost wasn’t even able to retrieve these screenshots#the other day dolphin just kinda shit itself and refused to read my game files for fe9#and i ended up spending like an hour fighting with the config to fix it#but for whatever reason the screenshot command is no longer saving to the folder even though it says it is#and i only realized this after completing the map#i got really fuckin lucky that i had a save state near the end that i could go back into#so i could just use my computer’s screenshot command to save it directly to my desktop#but it means that the screenshots of that one scene in ch. 22#where titania yells at ike to tell her who killed greil and soren tells her to chill because it’s upsetting ike#are gone if i can’t find wherever the fuck the image files went#which sucks because i really wanted to talk about that one too#sorry for the rant#anyway tags#tellius#fe9#long post#does this count as#ikesoren#fellas is it gay to devote your entire life to the very first person to show you kindness
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when u are a guy who is super normal about his boss and also his boss' wannabe arch-nemesis (more terror text post memes)
#need to study this man in a glass jar w twigs and shit. he does Not get a cage bc hed get out of that. terrarium species i fear#the terror#text post meme#terror shitposting#thomas jopson#ik were all haha he wants to fuck that old man (which a. understandable and b. he really does) but man can we talk abt the Layers#something something ambition vs devotion vs ruthlessness vs kindness vs enabling etc etc.#can we talk abt the whole class (traitor) dynamic w hickey too....#just the contrast of the hickeyjopson convo everything we ate growing up started w a gun. ive shot smaller hawks than u#vs the hickeygoodsir convo if im reading ur accent right uve always had to use every part of the meat ur mum could procure.....#biting snarling foaming at the mouth!!!!#anyway im tired of looking at this & i couldnt find a screenshot for one post i wanted to use so. have it anyway#cavetext
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god what really gets me about dead boy detectives and what i think i love so much about the show and the relationships in it is that like. the romantic and sexual relationships aren't portrayed as being more unique or important than the platonic relationships. they're all just RELATIONSHIPS.
charles and crystal's attraction to each other and eventual hookup isn't this big end-all be-all relationship that shatter charles and edwin's friendship and draws charles' attention away from edwin; it's just a THING that happens. they're just two people that care about each other and happen to also be attracted to each other, and a hook-up happens, then they decide that neither of them are in the right place for it and it's nothing awful. crystal kisses charles, but it isn't some big spectacle of her declaring her love for him; it's just her saying goodbye and that she cares about him, like her hugs with niko and jenny and her handshake with edwin.
edwin realizes he loves charles romantically and tells him, and charles says he doesn't really love edwin romantically BACK, but it's okay, because they still love each other so much in so many other ways that this one tiny difference could never change them—and it doesn't!! they're still just as close, still care for each other just as much, still SHOW that care for each other just as much. their relationship didn't completely end because edwin loved charles in a way charles couldn't reciprocate, but at the same time it isn't "solved" by edwin getting over it, because there's nothing TO solve. it's just another type of love, added to everything that already exists between them. and they have LITERALLY FOREVER to figure out what it means.
the relationships between edwin & niko, crystal & niko, and crystal & edwin aren't given any less weight for being solely platonic, just as charles & crystal's relationship and edwin's feelings for charles aren't given (that much) MORE weight for being romantic. crystal and charles' conflict in the closet is about EDWIN, about how they're BOTH his friend and BOTH want to get him back; it has very little to do with the feelings between THEM, romantic or otherwise. similarly, the weight of charles' and edwin's relationship isn't diminished in the LEAST by charles not reciprocating the romantic side of his feelings (or SAYING he doesn't reciprocate, at least—we can all argue about the legitimacy of that in the notes).
i'm sure there are more examples than this, as well as probably some examples that CONTRADICT this, but like... by and large, it feels like dead boy detectives is a show where all the relationships are given equal weight regardless of platonic, sexual, romantic, or familial status, and as someone on both the asexual and aromantic spectrums who has struggled time and time again with shows casting out the importance of all other relationships in favor of prioritizing romance, that is INCREDIBLY refreshing to see.
#this might be a lot of run-on sentences and me repeating itself because its 2 am rn (sidenote how the HELL did it get that late last i chec#-ed it was like 11???) but i hope u enjoy anyway 👍#magpie thoughts#dead boy detectives#ik before watching the show i saw a lot of people were annoyed by charles and crystal's relationship and thought it felt forced and like#-they had no romantic chemistry#but honestly. having watched the show. i don't see that at all?#like maybe it's just me being aspec and not getting what ''romantic chemistry'' even IS but like. they were people. they were two fucked up#-people that happened to be attracted to each other and they hooked up when both of them were in low places and agreed to not go any furthe#-after. but beyond all of that they are FRIENDS and they STAY friends and like. they just felt like PEOPLE#the way they were written and the way the actors ACTED IT felt like ten times better to me than the dozens of pinacle romances i've seen in#-other tv shows#(and also i gotta say i love the other CASUALNESS with which sex was mentioned in the early episodes. it wasnt made out to be this big thin#-that only happens when tied to romance; it was just a THING. theyre both hot and in different circumstances they totally would have had se#-about it (and eventually they did but thats besides the point). that's it)#they're people. this is a show full of ghosts and demons and witches and crows-turned-into-boys but they are all fundamentally just PEOPLE#beautiful and fucked up human beings that feel attraction and hurt and fear and love in a million different ways.#AUGH i love this show so much#paineland#payneland#crystal palace#charles rowland#edwin payne#niko sasaki#dead boy detective netflix#dbda
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Complaining abt Suicide Squad yet again but the fact that they have Waller exposing the alien community to space racist attacks and talking abt how she got to her position through deceit and being a terrible person and stuff is just. Ahsfiwueh JUST SAY YOU DONT KNOW WALLER.
Anyways literally the 3rd mission of the Squad ever (and the first framed as smth Waller picked and not orders from above) was the Squad discrediting and stopping a rogue vigilante who was only arresting POC and funneling white people into white supremacy groups (of which he was the most prominent member) in SUICIDE SQUAD #4. and it's explicitly framed as this mission being personal for Waller that she's hiding from the government bc its illegal like. Guys. Please why are we having her incite (space bc comics) racist attacks now
Also the whole "Amanda got her position through deceit and being a terrible person" NO. she KEPT her position through being shitty and playing complicated political games!!! She wasn't always that way like there is a difference and it is IMPORTANT ppl PLEASEEEE. In Secret Origins #14 we learn Amanda's backstory and she used to be a normal, caring person! Like even after she entered into working in government and politics she wasn't automatically morally bankrupt like please people. She was originally given control of the Squad by Reagan (*sigh* 80s comics...) to distract and get rid of her because she was so successful at pushing progressive social policy in Congress. Acting like she's this static pillar of evil is such a waste of her character and so fucking uninteresting and disrespectful to her arc it drives me MAD.
Like I am NOT saying Waller is all sunshine and rainbows, she fucking SUCKS (said w love <3) but like there's a human being there. It's a progression, she has a character arc like please, DC, please!!! They've fucked up Waller so bad and made her so opaque and uninteresting she can't even be the protagonist of her own story for fucks sake!
Like I don't know how many times I have to scream it until DC hears me or remembers but WALLER IS THE MAIN CHARACTER OF SUICIDE SQUAD. ITS HER BOOK. yet right now she's a cutout to be used as the villain wherever the writers please. Even in her book we get none of her perspective really displayed, no exploration of her thoughts with any kind of understanding of the role she traditionally has played and was made to play in the story.
#its like youre unable to root for her in any form. which is annoying bc shes actually awesome actually#also having her say “actually im the good guy fuck you'' w/o any actual deep analysis of her psyche or whatever while doing these things#doesnt count as development or showing shes 3 dimensional. its just having 2 dimensional waller say shes right when everyone is obviously#supposed to believe shes wrong#anyways i want real waller back please i miss herrrrrrrr#anyways hope mr john ridley has read secret origins no 14. i know its from 1987 but please guys please. my only hope#also it was a few months ago but i think they tried to push certain elements of a diff backstory in dream team and sorry but fuck that. and#any mention of another waller background like my eyes are closed sry. im a preboot truther#actually im just ignorant of most squad comics outside the original series. im gonna do a readthrough and become knowledgeable on other#stuff i just need to find time. so if im wrong then sorry if its smth factual and if you disagree with my opinion then uh sorry for ur loss#anyways shoutout to the time i had a nerd night w my one friend and she was asking me abt dc and said my favorite villains and i said waller#and silver swan. and she had a “yuck WHY” to waller and a ???? to silver swan. love shouting out my faves and explaining them to the less#informed. didnt say a number 3 but would probably be parallax ig. idk hes kind of slay. or maybe someone else honestly i like hal but waller#and nessie are blorbo level for me i could think abt them for hours#or maybe it wouldnt be parallax actually idk who my 3 would be. hes definitely up there but way below the other 2. maybe the cheetah#interpretation that i personally have. v different from the popular cheetah interpretation esp rucka vers actually. much closer to the pérez#and esp develops some subtext there surrounding barbara and the exploitation and theft of sacred cultural artifacts and pieces but also#like british colonization a lil bit#but i actually despise the cheetah that lives in my head but think shed be interesting to use narratively and see diana fight#vs the other guys who i find interesting and sympathetic and like for themselves#whereas my fave interpretation of cheetah can rot in hell#i got off topic here#blah#swishy rant#also disclaimer that w the main character ik dreamer is the main character of dream team. im talking more in general and that amanda should#always have a huge role as shes the main character of the squad and yet is treated like its villain and not its protag#sui sq
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i don't think I've ever enjoyed a birthday party with friends as much as today i am genuinely getting a bit teary eyed
#initially i wasn't planning to do anything but then i thought what the hell what if we go out to drink something#except it was all very up in the air so a good deal of folks couldn't come (which is fine that one's on me)#but the two who COULD make it are genuinely some of the funniest motherfuckers I've ever met and one of them brought his gf along#and we hit it off IMMEDIATELY and THEN we ran into another pal I hadn't seen in a while and hadn't had the chance to invite in person#who also joined in after he finished hanging out with other people and they got me a present????? 😭#i haven't had a birthday with friends in fucking . 3 years between covid and everyone i knew moving away#I'm so happy i think my heart is going to explode#which ik. hey isn't that a very boring and simple hangout YES but also not to me baby i have been in a depression isolation all my teens#i started to genuinely enjoy my day to day life like. 4 months ago ever since starting uni#it feels like turning a new leaf yknow? like. i made it. i made it out. god i could cry#sorry I'm a little drunk
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we as a society need to talk about how most of yall will only care about queer love if there’s a white person involved. not that this doesn’t extend to cishet couples too because of course it does. but there are far too many white queer people that think they’re exempt from racism just because they’re from a marginalized group and that’s a conversation that needs to be had!!!
#honestly a poc won't even get a FRACTION of attention if they're not in some sort of relationship with a white person#and it just irks me soooo bad. like can we PLEASE reflect on why that is guys. please.#the only time i'll see poc be shipped together is when it's like. anime. and ik there are so many fans whitewashing those mfers#side eyeing yall so hard#reminds me of when i watched a league of their own show and i ONLY heard about the white sapphics#i naturally watched it b/c. sapphics. and i was so shocked to find out there was more than just them?#NOBODY talked about the black story??? when it was infinitely more compelling to me?????#those white girls were fun and all but i was FAR more invested in max. only to find there was like no fan content for her anywhere#sighing from the depths of my soul can yall PLEASEEE think about why this is such a problem#and i've already made a post about how most kabru content is about his relationship with laios which is also fucking annoying as hell#ANYWAY i digress#erros doesnt know how to shut up
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I dont think Mob is naive as much as he's socially unaware, like the reason why he trusts Reigen so blindly is a bit more complex than just him being naive
Cause Mob reached out to Reigen because he was desperate to find someone like him, someone who understood his psychic specific issues, someone that could truly know what he's feeling and going through and give him guidance and support
Post incident Mob's thinking process was something along the lines of my powers hurt people -> my powers are bad -> my powers (my emotions, my instincts, myself) cannot be trusted
So he lost all confidence and trust in his own actions, resigning to being as passive as possible to avoid any further damage to anyone else, thus he started doubting his own perception of reality too
He's a kid already struggling with being ostracised for being socially inept, who just got traumatised and all of his insecurity increased by the tenfold, he doesn't know how to process what he's going through. He needs help.
And here comes Reigen, seemingly reliable, a responsible adult in a child's eyes, someone who claims he can understand him
Even tho Reigen doesnt. But it doesn't matter, because Mob finds comfort in his words and takes them to heart
Even if Reigen doesn't fully get it, even if he doesn't see the bigger picture, even if his advice isn't always the best
Eventually, Mob grows up, realises Reigen isn't as honest as he seemed through his 11 year old perspective, but like most things, he refuses to acknowledge it on a deeper level
Mob knows, but never tells Reigen, never thinks about what all those lies mean to him (ofc until he forces himself to face those doubts regarding Reigen, to properly acknowledge both of their flaws and accept them as they are, I should scream into the void about Confession Arc more God)
Due to his lack of trust in himself, Mob has relied on Reigen for years now to shape his moral compass, his thoughts, his decisions
Because well, Reigen lies, sure, but he isnt a bad person. When he hurts Mob, it isn't intentional or with ill intent, he still wants the best for him, what's the issue?
Except that it stunts Mob's growth. He doesn't develop as a person, doesn't have goals or wishes or ambitions, can't make choices on his own, he doesn't even let himself acknowledge his own emotions, he refuses to let himself exist
But Mob realises in time that he wants more than that, he wants to become better and be independent and feel again
Still, he puts the acknowledgement of the lies on hold for as long as he can, unwilling to question the way things are
This can make him feel a little naive, he constantly relies on Reigen and trusts his decisions and raises questions rarely until separation arc when he finally puts his foot down
And I do think that moment is the most resounding proof we have that Mob knows and allows himself to be used by Reigen, not wanting to shake the status quo, until he gets fed up
I mentioned the social ineptitude at the beggining but idk if I should even elaborate on that, you've watched the show, you know what I mean
He's blunt and can't read social cues or tonality that well and can't speak in front of crowds and is overall pretty awkward and I do think some people conflate that with naivety
Mob is still a child, he doesnt fully understand how the world works at the ripe age of 14 years old, but some folks take that as him being inherently naive/innocent/whatever which I don't find true
#ppl do a similar thing with seri but for different reasons but i do think in his case its worse cause thats a whole ass adult#anyway. i dont think im saying anything new i just wanted to ramble <3#i missed mobposting what can i say#ik i saw somebody talk about this in a more eloquent way but i doubt i could find the post cause i dont think i rbed it so rip#mp100#mob psycho 100#kageyama shigeo#that ova needs to come out already im going insane#cine te a intrebat#also hope i didnt come off as too negative towards reigen or smth#but like. my favourite part of confession is him saying (i didnt know!) LIKE YEAH. U DIDNT. LMAO.#ppl treat him as a bit too reliable sometimes and dont give him a lot of room to grow like Reigen isnt even 30 yet!! he aint that old!!#he still needs to get HIS own shit tgt before giving out advice just saying. also he totally doesnt understand mob fully. how can he??#he never mentions the incident with ritsu and considering mobs inclination of never telling anyone anything unless prompted#i doubt he knows... like reigen genuinely doesnt know the extent of mobs trauma!! when he said I Didnt Know he meant that shit!!!!!!#which is like. fine. cause to me whats important is how he always wants to protect mob and support him and help him#even if he doesnt always know how. even if advice backfires. hes always there and hes always trying and hes just as human and flawed as mob#himself#ig what im getting at is just that im bothered by the Flavour of reliable adult fandom is giving him. hes a lil pathetic and#fucks up sometimes and thats fiiiiiine. i feel like i talked shit about reigen but i do think hes a good guy and IS reliable just not in the#gives great advice way. but in the Knows How To Talk And Bullshit His Way Through Everything and Has Genuinely Good Intentions (usually)#and will throw away all of his self preservation if the situation requires him to. his advice is good but can be vague idk ONE rlly managed#to balance his pathetic side with his helpful reliable side and i dont think i articulated it the best way but like.... hes simultaneously#pathetic and sad but also the most sane and reliable adult in this show. rant over see u next time byeeee
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they werent lying that everything did burn
#not my best work but considering I’ve been exploding to death so much lately which has rendered me unable to art. I like how this turned out#pay no mind o the fucked up anatomy this was intended to b just a lighting experiment. ik some bits look off but I donot have energy to fix#ANYWAY. sorry regualr followers & mutual alike I have contracted brainrot. wahooo#now to tag this with ten million things#double life smp#dlsmp#boat boys#??? idk if that’s a tag#trafficblr#dlsmp joel#dlsmp etho#oh fuck uh#cw fire#??#technically it’s lava but what the fuck ever
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playing as a racist fascist asshole harry is quite possibly the most harrowing experience i have had in a game playthrough yet and i haven't even made it past the second day
#chats#im trying to get the bad cop achievement...... need to unlock them all...... but every bad dialogue makes me want to explode#WHICH IS THE POINT IK.... BUT ITS SO AGONIZING...#yelling at the screen in horror and indignation like i wasnt the person to choose the fucked up option 😶
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Guys. Guys Ben Drowned's canon last name isn't actually Lawman
I've known this for a while, and more I think about it, the more it makes me feel like I should say something 😭
It was a misconception that started with an older version of Ben's page on the Jadusable Wiki. (It was never used for any non-ARG version of Ben prior to this.) I remember spotting Lawman being used as Ben's last name around 2016-2018 or so, and it has been edited out of his page since 2020. (It was on the page they have for the dead child rather than the Network/entity. I think it might've happened before they moved off Fandom wiki, because I think I remember seeing comments and their new wiki doesn't have those).
During the second arc (2011-2012), Jadusable mailed some bonus material to people who donated to him. One of these bonus materials was a section from a newspaper, which describes the murder-suicide of two members of the Lawman family along with their son, with some tampering to the article that appears to have been done by BEN.
You can zoom into the image and read it, or check out it's page on the wiki here (which I highly recommend as it has some added information, like what all the censored words are.) It's a very interesting piece of lore that's fun to analyze--however, I wouldn't recommend reading it if you're super squeamish or sensitive to graphic details related to death. (The method of the killing itself isn't mentioned.)
While this seems to be about Ben on the surface, it's actually not. The only way we can tell is by the date of the newspaper: In the column to the left of the "Spring Is In The Air!" paragraph, the year 2011 is mentioned, but we know that Ben died on 4/23/2004. The wording of the Lawman event feels recent (as if they're talking about an event a few months prior), when Ben's death would've been far gone by now.
With what's likely BEN tampering on the top right (where they creatively use block-out poetry to say "You shouldn't have done that," among many other things) combined with the mention of someone's son dying, it makes a ton of sense that the wiki editors assumed that Ben is a member of this Lawman family that appears here. At some point, screenshots of the wiki ended up being circulated and the larger Creepypasta fandom accepted Lawman as being Ben's "real" last name.
Lawman is actually the last name of a different (and much less relevant) character, Tyler, who appears briefly in the first and third arcs. It's not entirely clear what happened to him or his family, and I think the Newspaper Article is intended to be fun bonus material for Jadusable's donators rather than something that's meant to supply important information about the ARG characters--something like Ben's last name would be crucial for puzzles and passwords, and would give the 50 donators who received the article an unfair advantage (and Jadusable isn't the type of creator who'd be okay with that). Regardless, it carries some interesting implications about the Behavioral Event Network, and Matt's initials are also here for some reason. It's probably one of the most head-spinning materials in the whole game.
#ben drowned#benjamin lawman#ben lawman#ben drowned arg#This is like 35% of why I didnt play in 2020 btw there was like a 2 month period where I thought the Moon Children just merced Ben's dad#I'm sorry if this post ends up being someone's introduction to the ARG because I don't know what the fuck is going on here either#creepypasta#matt hubris#jadusable#jeff the killer#lost silver#slenderman#LIKE IVE KNOWN ABOUT THIS FOR YEARS AND IM STILL LIKE??? DID EVENT NETWORK DO THIS????? WHY IS MATT THERE????? WHAT#The time where the 'BEN makes people kts' headcanon became real for 2.5 seconds#I think Matt is here because BEN has a history of just saying the most cryptic shit about Matt specifically#People hc them as friends but I legitimately think they hate his ass#because why were they on that 'YOURTURN MATT' in arc 1 when he hasnt even had his character introduction yet. Diabolical#Ik theres that part in arc 2 where Matt is like 'I dont know what happened to my dear friend Ben... He ran away :(' but then BEN is like#'Why are you lying 🤥🤥🤥'#Lowkey thats a whole other post but also the alternative is that Matt is in the Network which doesn't make sense because Network and Matt#literally interact as separate entities throughout the entire story
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2011 Japan Post-Qualifying
#dedicated to the anon who asked me if i knew which gp this was from! i ended up being right hehehe#AND thank you so so so much to suzuki-ecstar for finding and sending me the clip!!!! i appreciate it sm!!!! <3#(ik told you already but actually the clip you sent is better than the original archive i had so im very happy)#i know a super old post of this already exists but now pls take my offering of it w higher quality/frame rate!!#im usually not a huge fan of this seb hair era but godddddd he looks so good in this#i will never get over the 2nd gif of jense play-punching him#ive seen it a million times by now but this one is better quality than any of the others and im fucking dying#THEY'RE SO ENDEARING WHY WERE THEY LIKE THISSSSSSSSS#and mark's there too i guess...(kidding hahaha but god his live slug react game is strong)#okay also must say now that im in a different time zone i have absolutely no fucking idea when to post its so confusing to me#jenson button#sebastian vettel#sebson#mark webber#jb22#sv5#2011 japanese grand prix#2011 japanese gp#we do a little bit of f1#f1#formula 1#formula one
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These were the concept pages I drew for my original writer in the @vashwoodbigbang event! Unfortunately they have disappeared on me 😅 and also bc god hates me I guess, the day I was supposed to post these, yesterday, saw me dealing with first a wifi outage and then a whole electricity outage so. That was fun lmao
Details about the drawings below since. I don't know if my writer will ever post the story, unfortunately 😔
So this was originally coined as a stardust au! I believe it was primarily based on the movie that came out in the 2000s (?), though I believe my writer was familiar with both the movie and the book it was based on. Honestly, it doesn't pull much at all from the story itself, just the general concepts of stars.
In this version, Vash is a star, and he decides to try and find his long-lost siblings (Knives and Tessla). In his search, he comes across a planet he hasn't visited before, and while he's descending to it, he's shot down by something mysterious that causes him rather permanent injury (not new; I believe he'd already lost his arm previously and he has all his scarring from travels to previous planets, this specific technology is just new to him).
He manages to crawl some distance from the resulting crater and is rescued by the odd pair of anthropologist Milly and journalist Meryl, who are tracking fallen stars on their planet in order to research them. Vash is horrified to learn that stars on this planet are rather brutally searched for and used for their power, so he tries his best to keep his real identity as a star secret.
In the next town, he learns about Star Cultists, who are the leading experts on stars. Our dear Wolfwood is one of them, and though he's a priest under the head of Chapel, he seems pretty jaded about the whole thing. He also spends some time poking fun at their visitor Vash when he stumbles on the doorstep of the church.
Unbeknownst to all, Chapel is the one who shot Vash down, and he suspects Vash is his target. When Vash, Milly, and Meryl skip town, Wolfwood is ordered to tag along with them against his will, and he begrudgingly forces himself into the group with his usual grace lol.
Through some shenanigans, including an interesting fight with Livio/Razlo who is a martyr (a human who ate at least part of a star and became consumed by it), the group all grows closer to each other. Naturally, Wolfwood and Vash hit it off with their usual ideology clashing and homoerotic team fighting. The tension comes to a head when both of the boys are drunk and attempting to stumble somewhere after getting kicked out of the bar, and with the help of liquid courage, Wolfwood admits to Vash that he's what's known as a "Star Eater:" a human that has consumed part of a star, and by some genetic luck, isn't consumed by it and instead gains some superhuman abilities so long as the magical tattoo (i forget what it's called off the top of my head fuck) that forms around the presenting star isn't broken.
Vash is understandably horrified. Wolfwood is confused by Vash's rejection bc he isn't aware Vash is a star; he's under the impression Vash is just some very talented guy Chapel really wants to feed a star shard in the hopes he becomes part of their superhuman cult.
Vash sobers up and manages to drag a very drunk and eepy Wolfwood to their hotel.
The next day is the turning point; the star cultists, including Chapel, catch up to them and confront Vash. Wolfwood has to learn very quickly that he'd been Wrong and Vash, in his panic, flies to where it feels most safe; the city's Star (storage area?? Idk). He ends up cornered there and, in his panic, accidentally goes nuclear trying to escape and blows up half the city in a column of flame. While he's barreling across the desert in an attempt to get away, he's trapped by a net the star cultists set up, made of the same shit used to shoot him down at the start, and he can't escape it on his own.
Luckily he's found by Wolfwood first, who's decided he owes it to Vash to try and fix his fuck up, and using his superhuman healing, he manages to free Vash. Both are exhausted and ultimately rescued by LR, who's been tailing them.
Tbh my memory's kinda foggy... my writer only managed to share up to that first LR fight, so I don't remember exactly what's supposed to happen between here and the fight at the orphanage?? I remember Vash somehow finds out what happened to his siblings (a hella long time ago, Tessla was consumed by the people of the planet and Knives, in his rage, fuckin just annihilated everything, turning it into a desert planet, and has been laying dormant for the most part since then) and also we learn that martyrs gain better control of themselves, and the crystal growth consuming them stops, when in proximity to enough additional star power. Vash, as a star himself, allows LR to easily think as they did before they ate a star shard when in close enough proximity.
Anyway, fight for the orphanage, Vash shows up in time to see Wolfwood getting his shit rocked and his magical tattoo (I'm so annoyed I can't remember what it's called. My mind is supplying sharingan and i know that aint it) shattered by Chapel, who accomplishes this by running Wolfwood through with his cane. Vash, believing Wolfwood's dead (bc like. Lmao it's pretty hard to live getting impaled, like, fully), loses his temper and basically obliterates Chapel. He moves on from Wolfwood's body to try and dismantle the entire Star church so Wolfwood's orphanage can stay safe. In this process, he confronts a Doctor Conrad, who was behind the whole thing, the remains of Tessla, and somehow Knives?? I think Knives, sensing Vash's anguish, just tried to fuckin nuke everyone, and Vash stops that. I feel like Knives dies in this process somehow... I think it was by saving Vash from something Conrad made??
By the end of it, Vash is wounded and exhausted, and ends up being saved by Milly and Meryl, I think.
When he recovers, it's to find he's lost his ability to leave the planet; while still functionally a star, his power has greatly diminished, his hair is black, and he can't even hide his wings anymore. Last I knew, my writer was actually merciful and let Wolfwood live! Albeit as a martyr (thus the wolf form with the uncontrolled star shard bursting out of the hole in his chest you can see on Wolfwood's page lol). Luckily he's got Vash around, so he gets to keep his mind, if not his human form.
With Knives dead and the star cultists mostly dispersed and no longer able to fuck with the planet, the story ends with our characters getting to experience rainfall on the planet for the first time in centuries.
.......
I like the story :P I imagine it'd be a lot better written out in actual novel form by the person who'd actually thought it up than my shitass, too-long summary lol.
Honestly my writer was communicating up until like, a month ago?? And then they just.... disappeared :/ which is weird bc I checked with my mod for this event (shout out to mod sana, @pushclouds, you're an amazing mod and I appreciate the heck out of you) and they submitted literally every check-in. Honestly I'm more worried for them than anything, if anyone knows what happened to @lohikaar I'd appreciate anything you can tell me. I hope they'll publish this story whenever they can, I'd still love to read it in its entirety.
Additional shout-out to @priellan for beta-ing the story they shared with us, and for overall being a super supportive team member :D
Also they did assign me a pinch hitter writer since we have no idea wtf happened to my original writer, so I'll be doing more drawings :D priellan agreed to beta for them too, which I'm super happy about! And thanks again to mod sana for your hard work and arranging that so quickly!
An admittedly strange first big bang experience, but I don't think it was overall bad, and I'm excited to work on more stuff with my new writer :D if you read this far goddamn. Thanks lol. See you again for sure on January 1st! (I'll try to post other shit between then and now hopefully)
#vashwood big bang#my art#stardust au#man im. idk. it really feels like the universe was against me on this one but fuck the universe I'll do what i want#i deserve to make silly little drawings of queer silly little guys. i think ive earned that this year. good god#anywayyy will be making more#and fr like. if aster does see this im not angry! im not even really disappointed i know shit happens#really i'd just like assurance that you're alive and well at this point 😅#feel like we've been through some real scary stuff this year#trigun#fanart#primarily based off trimax tbh#still plugged a lot of christianity into this one dont worry#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#werewolf??? ig????? it's not technically a werewolf but also shit dude i was looking up werewolves as references so#vash x wolfwood#ik there's really none in the drawings but that was a focal point of the story#which the concept pages are about
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child of calamity
#can you believe touya called him 'the congealed broth of calamity' wtfff ok poet but also wtffffff thats fucked up#ik bnha is over in a few ch but mentally im trapped in the shouto touya fight#isnt it insane that his HEART is the centre of phosophor which he specifically developed for Touya and it also doesnt hurt????#isnt that crazy#isnt that wild#the centre of his heart????#fuck me duddeeee someone put me in the loony bin im going crazy#BNHA#Boku No Hero Academia#MHA#My Hero Academia#Shouto Todoroki#Shoto Todoroki#My Art#Todoroki Shoto
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im sad. extremely sad actually yeah. very sad indeedy.
#i am like so alone and sometimes ppl tell me that im not and theyre there for me but like#idk how to explain it#I don't want to talk to anyone or rely on anyone or be vulnerable with anyone because genuinely everyone is fucking mean#and ik thats some victim mindset shit. like usually im fine about it i can handle myself#but sometimes its just like idk :/ i wish ppl could be fucking normal and comforting and hold me and just not make me deal#with their shittyness. like its ok if ur a mean person or u wanna say mean things to me please just shut up and hold me anyway????#like its fine please godddd#i want human connection so badly but i doubt everyone and i never believe anyone and whenever i do its like im a fucking IDIOT#uvvhhghvhgh#guys its just my period coming i guess. im not actually this sad its just my fuckass bitch fuck stupid hormones#ugghhgnbjbjg#i havent made ny bed either. its just the bare mattress (which i find rly gross i always want the cover on it)#and ny clothes and shower items on it#i might just sleep luke this though using my hoodie and a pillow.
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