#which if i remember correctly was for joy and generally positive emotion

[airaly]

You're dripping like a saturated sunrise You're spilling like an overflowing sink You're ripped at every edge but you're a masterpiece And now you're tearing through the pages and the ink

It's finally done! My tribute to @altraviolet TFP/IDW crossover fic The Echo Garden, which I kindly recommend once again if you want to read an incredible story with awesome written characters and plot❤️ Look at me squealing for these two gfdsfdsafds Click the image for a better quality!

Some close ups under the cut☺️

[escape-rock-bottom]

Journal #11- The Unseen Advantages of Mental Illness

We always hear about how debilitating, pitiful, and frustrating mental illness is. All I have heard throughout my life is the negatives, the downsides, the suffering of it all. It’s a narrative of limitation and negativity that sitting down to think about right now, is likely a main factor into the lack of self worth and confidence a person with mental illness usually has. I know it affected many people greatly to be told all the sorrows of the hardships we live through, but never the joys.

Thinking about it a bit deeper, I realized there are quite a few skills and abilities that can give people with mental illness leverage over the “normal-brained” people of the world. The skills they’d gain vary drastically depending on the mental illness, but the most common ones are introspection, problem solving, self-sufficiency, and emotional control.

You heard that right, the traits we don’t think to attribute to those who are mentally ill are the very traits most who recover end up possessing. It’s simply due to the amount of work a mentally ill individual has to put into managing themselves, work that a “normal-brained” person rarely has to do to survive.

Most self help skills are literally things I was taught repeatedly throughout my journey through therapy and hospital stays, but repackaged. I’ve heard all the self-help concepts before I even knew what self-help was. So yeah, it’s literally therapy tools used for those with mental illness, with an added enthusiasm and energy to them and rewritten to be more empowering.

Since I had a long therapy history, all this knowledge was fed to me constantly to the point it’s second nature; it’s been practiced to the point it’s habit. Changing your limiting beliefs and negative thoughts is hard for the average person, but it’s significantly more difficult for the person with a mental illness. To see someone recover from mental illness is to witness the consistent, effective, long-lasting application of therapy (self-help) techniques- you can imagine how moving forward these skills give someone who’s recovered a giant leg-up from their peers.

The mental illnesses I have come with certain symptoms that to the outside world are abnormal, but help me as an individual cope with life in a much different way. My “problem” with hyper-focusing on things I do allows me to be productive if used correctly. My “annoying issue” with my rigidity of habits allows me to easily build and keep on track with good habits. My “I need absolute certainty this will be done at this time” approach to setting goals and timelines ensures I effectively get things done sooner than later. To other people, I’m a rigid, persistent, barge obsessed guy. To myself, I just have specific interests but am effective at executing tasks.

Think about the actual symptoms of your mental illness. Which ones can actually give you positive attributes or skills? If you tend to overthink, do you find that actually helps you solve a problem? If you are overly thorough with every task you do, does that actually allow you to produce your best work on a consistent basis? Do you find that your over-active imagination actually causes you to be naturally creative and an idea generating machine?

If you happen to be a person who has embarked on your own mental health journey and made it through the worst of it, but decided to head down the self-help/improvement path, think about this: What skills do you hear life coaches mention constantly that you feel you already knew? What techniques do you already use on a day-to-day basis?

Take these positive traits and pieces of knowledge and remember them. Don’t think about the limitations of your mental illness as your identity and extent of your ability. Think in the positivity of your strange, unique, but useful skills and qualities.

DISCLAIMER: Don’t ignore the negative symptoms of your mental illness. I’m not perfect and still struggle with the symptoms that affect me negatively. I just learned how to better manage them to the point it's a small hiccup in my progress. This is a thought experiment meant to empower people who feel their mental illness limits them and makes them useless or just hopeless, not to tell them to believe it away. It’s a serious issue that needs constant professional attention, it will not magically go away because of self-help blogs on the internet. 

[niqhtlord01]

Humans are weird: What is art?

( Please come see me on my new patreon and support me for early access to stories and personal story requests :D https://www.patreon.com/NiqhtLord Every bit helps)

Alien: *Walking through museum with friends.*

Alien: *Stops at painting*

Alien: What is this picture of?

Human Friend: *Walks over and sees painting*

Human Friend: It is the depiction of the death of Julius Caesar.

Alien: Who is that?

Human Friend: He was a general of the roman republic far back in human history.

Human Friend: This piece is an imagination of the moment he was murdered in the halls of the roman senate.

Alien: Are those around him his enemies?

Human Friend: And his friends as well.

Alien: Why would they seek to murder him?

Human Friend: If I remember correctly this event took place after many years of civil war; Roman fighting Roman across multiple continents with each believing themselves to be in the right until finally Caesar emerged victorious.

Human Friend: But when the war ended many believed Caesar would become a tyrant and rule the people with an iron fist, and so a group of them came together and struck him down to prevent such a thing from happening.

Alien: Why would anyone wish to make such a horrible moment into art?

Alien: Look at him. *Points at Caesar*

Alien: A great man on the floor with his hands up begging for his life while his once friends strike him down.

Alien: Do humans find joy from witnessing such violence?

Human Friend: A misconception you may have is assuming that human art is only meant to inspire the more positive range of emotions.

Human Friend: In reality there are thousands of pieces that are created to inspire feelings of dread, sadness, loneliness, anger and so forth.

Human Friend: Such as this piece. *Points at artwork next to death of Caesar*

Human Friend: This one was painted by one of our peoples greatest artists Vincent Van Gogh.

Alien: Is the human in pain?

Human Friend: Yes.

Human Friend: The picture is often considered to be a reflection of the artist himself during his later years as he became increasingly depressed and saddened.

Alien: This only further proves my point that humans elate themselves on the suffering of others.

Human Friend: What you call suffering we call the human condition.

Human Friend: Look closely at the old man.

Alien: *Leans forward to examine*

Human Friend: Can you not see the detail in the brush strokes? The care he has for figure and form?

Human Friend: Here is a man in the depths of despair and he uses that raw emotion to imbue his art with it; to make it come alive.

Human Friend: Life is not easy. It is full of moments of equal joy and misery in an endless waltz until we finally return to the earth that bore us.

Alien: So what you are saying is that humans use all of their emotions when composing artworks.

Human Friend: Correct.

Human Friend: Some pieces are meant to inspire singular emotions, while others can induce multiple.

Human Friend: In the end though it is still possible that as individuals we may find some entirely different meaning in a particular piece that is in contrast with the more widely accepted ones.

Alien: Then which is right?

Human Friend: All of them.

Alien: That can’t be possible.

Human Friend: What a piece inspires inside you is unique to the individual.

Human Friend: There is no right or wrong way to experience art and that is part of the beauty for it.

Alien: You humans have an apparently overly complex for artistic works.

Human Friend: Just wait until you hear our music.

Human Friend: There’s this genre called pirate metal I want to introduce you to.

[that-blue-vault-dweller]

Companions react to sole getting that big ass projector at red rocket working and finding some movies? Get out the popcorn!

Ooh, I really like this!!! However, I couldn’t remember if there was a projector at Red Rocket, and I wondered if you meant Starlight Drive In because I’m not sure if there was a big, clear wall to display the film on at Red Rocket. I assumed Starlight Drive In, but if you want me to go back and fix it to Red Rocket, I definitely can. Just shoot a message in my ask box or comment. 😊

Thank you for the request, and I hope you enjoy!!! 💙💛

Cait - Is surprised at the fact that she actually has it going. When she hears the news, she jokingly asks if F!Sole can put on a horror movie. F!Sole easily arranges Cait's request, and Cait is absolutely shocked at how realistic everything on the screen looks. Of course, she's only once seen an actual movie and it was about a talking dog. In fact, though she would rather die than admit it, she is somewhat terrified by the end of the film and she is jumping at every shadow.

Piper - Is absolutely thrilled and is immediately asking F!Sole to pull out some movies to watch on the big screen. F!Sole gladly complies, and the both of them watch one of the movies that came out just before the bombs. Piper is absolutely enthralled the entire time, and she hardly speaks as she just watches. She has never had the privilege to see actual TV or a movie, so it is the most amazing thing she has ever witnessed and actually leaves her speechless. When it is finally over, she suggests that they do this again on another night so they could show Nat.

Curie - Is practically bouncing when F!Sole first tells her and she asks if they can watch a movie immediately. Unfortunately, she has to wait until sundown, and by then, she has picked out multiple movies to watch, all of them piled in her arms. Every single one of them are feel-good movies intended to make the viewer cry, and Curie is indeed blubbering by the time they finish binge-watching. She makes sure to clap and hoot for the actors and actresses as if they could actually hear her.

MacCready - Is honestly shocked, but is a little skeptical about whether it will actually play any film. F!Sole asks him to go find a movie he would like to watch, and he brings her a movie about the Silver Shroud. To his excitement and pure joy, the movie actually plays and he is just staring at it with his mouth hanging open like a child watching its favorite show. He is positively bumfuzzled by it, and he is totally in love.

Deacon - Asks her if she is absolutely sure that she has the projector working correctly. When she says that she is one hundred percent certain, he asks her if he can ask some of the other Railroad folks to come and watch with them. She agrees, and that very night, there are several Railroad members there undercover. Even Desdemona came to watch. By the time it is all over, everyone is very impressed. Deacon wastes no time in bragging and telling everyone that if they wouldn't have taken his word for it when she wanted to join, then they'd never get to enjoy all this.

Codsworth - Is ecstatic with the fact that F!Sole has managed to bring a major piece of Pre-War culture back to life. He is there with her every step of the way, feeling such overwhelming emotion when he sees the movie start on the big screen. He places a pincer on her shoulder, squeezing gently as he quietly tells her how proud sir would be of where they are now.

Hancock - Is very pleased and quite interested in the entire idea. He even asks if she thinks she could get another one going in Goodneighbor. He thinks it would be valuable tourist attraction and that it could boost morale for his citizens. However, in the meantime, they just spend some time together as they watch a movie about revolutions and dystopian societies. He is utterly in love and has officially declared himself a huge fan of the young heroine starring in the movie that gave everything for the love of a sibling.

Danse - Is utterly fascinated, and is quickly asking to watch a movie. When she asks for a particular genre, he very sheepishly and quietly asks if they can watch a Western. She, of course, complies and they are soon enjoying stories of the Wild West, a world completely lost now that the bombs have fell and the years have passed. He is excited as can be throughout the entire movie, barely containing himself as he jumps a bit when gunfights erupt and horses run toward the viewer.

Preston - Believes her wholeheartedly when she says she has the projector going. As a direct result, he invites as many minutemen that are willing to come so they can see the wonderful work their general has done. When F!Sole puts on a movie, everyone is amazed, but none moreso than Preston. He is in absolute awe of the movie, but particularly, he is admiring his general for being so incredibly talented.

Valentine - So many memories are immediately washing upon him about drive-ins and all manners of things. He asks her if there are any mystery movies stored around the place, and she gladly pulls out the first one she finds. They both sit there together, only partially listening to the movie as they mostly spend time discussing old stories of their past drive-in visits before the bombs.

X6-88 - Is very impressed, but expresses his wish that the screen should be used as a manner in which to offer informative briefings and whatnot. F!Sole asks him to sit and give a movie a chance and he begrudgingly complies. However, when he actually does sit down and watch it, he is pleasantly surprised and he finds himself deeply invested in it. However, he would sooner die than admit to it.

Dogmeat - Does not totally get it, but he is very glad that she is so excited. He stays by her as she fishes through a box and pulls out something oddly-shaped. Soon enough, there is a movie playing on the giant screen and he is just staring. He barks at different scenes when it looks like it's coming toward him and F!Sole. He evens runs directly up to the screen, sniffing at it. It looks so real, and he wonders why he can't smell the people in the scene and just smells a dirty old screen.

Strong - Does not really understand, so she just puts on a movie for the both of them. As soon as it comes on the screen, he is shouting and freaking out because somehow these humans have grown even bigger than a super-mutant and its honestly scaring him a little. However, he starts running toward the screen, aiming to do his best to smash. Therefore, she has to hurry to him and make him stop. Needless to say, she doesn't watch any more movies with Strong.

Maxson - When he finds out, he is considerably impressed. He questions if she is comfortable with sharing the find with the rest of the Brotherhood. When she agrees, he asks several Brotherhood operatives to come with him to watch a movie there. When it is over, they all applaud her greatly, and he tells her that she has done an excellent job. He also asks if she could possibly get another one going for solely for Brotherhood use.

Sturges - Spends a moment to discuss with her about the technical aspect of how she managed to get it going. As soon as that is out of the way, he asks her if they can put on a movie and watch it. She gets everything set up, and they both enjoy a good movie. It is unlike anything that Sturges has ever seen, and he enjoys it greatly, being sure to tell her what an amazing job she did with getting it going again.

Glory - Remembers seeing some movies played in the Institute, but she has never actually had the ability to stop and watch one. When F!Sole tells her that she has got the projector going, Glory raises an eyebrow  and asks her if she is aiming on watching something. F!Sole affirms this, and she asks her to watch something with her. Glory agrees, pretending to be not so enthusiastic, but she is very much closely watching the film when it comes on. When they are sitting there together, Glory very quietly offhandedly states that she was punished if she was spotted looking over the human's shoulders at the TVs at the Institute. She is very thankful to finally have a good experience to associate with a television.

[lostinthewiind]

𝘋𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘚𝘩𝘰𝘰𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘔𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳

Tsukishima Kei - Haikyuu

Synopsis: before you met Tsukki, Yamaguchi was the go-to person for girls who wanted to confess their love for the tall, blonde middle blocker. Now that the two of you are friends, however, you collect love confessions for him on the daily. And why shouldn’t you? You and Tsukki are just friends; you say so yourself all the time.

Rating: PG

Warnings: None

“You’re sure you don’t mind?”

You shook your head as you took the letter and box of chocolates from the small, trembling girl before you. “No, not at all.” You forced a sweet smile. “I’ll be sure to tell him.”

The girl grinned wide, her face lighting up. “O-okay, thank you! I don’t think I could ever tell him in person about how I feel.”

“He’s really not as scary as everyone likes to think he is,” you said as you tucked the gifts of affection into your bag, pretending to pay careful attention but in reality, not exactly caring whether the card got crumpled or if the candies melted. 

The girl’s cheeks flushed a bright shade of red and she chuckled. “Really? Maybe I’ll try talking to him at lunch then!”

“You should.” You feigned interest, not quite sure why you were encouraging this girl to personally confess her undying love for the boy that you yourself held deep feelings for. Maybe it was because you felt that if you played the part as the supportive best friend, you would eventually just fall into that roll and forget all about how his smirk gave you butterflies or how your heart skipped a beat whenever he offered to share his music with you.

“Okay, I will!” A wave of confidence flooded over the girl’s features. “Well, class is about to start, so I better get going. Thanks again!”

“No problem.” Your assurance fell on deaf ears as the girl turned and headed to class with her friends, the lot of them giggling and whispering as they went. 

As soon as the gaggle of girls had turned the corner and disappeared from sight, you exhaled and turned on your heel to head toward your own classroom. Managing to make it just before the first bell rang, your mood lifted as soon as you spotted your friend sitting in his assigned seat beside yours, eyes closed and headphones positioned over his ears, almost as if they were a permanent fixture of his head.

Fishing the offerings out of your bag, you dropped them down onto his desk rather harshly to get his attention as you slid into your own seat. Hearing the items drop onto his desk and feeling the vibrations through his arms, which had been folded across the tabletop, Tsukki eyed the card and chocolates and sighed.

“Again?” He pulled his headphones away from his ears and hung them around his neck, the music still blaring enough that you could faintly hear the bass. 

“Again.” You confirmed with a slow nod. 

Yamaguchi, who sat on the other side of Tsukki, stared at the gifts with wide eyes. “Wow, Tsukki, you really are popular!”

“I really wish I wasn’t.” He picked up the small box of sweets and tossed them onto Yamaguchi’s desk. “Do you want them?”

Yamaguchi, who was used to laying claim to the rejected love offerings, nodded happily and accepted them. Sometimes he gave them to you as well, and as much as you appreciated the thought, eating the physical representation of unrequited love wasn’t something you particularly enjoyed, so you usually ended up just throwing them out when you got home.

“I wish you would just stop being so mean to everyone who isn’t Tadashi and I, that way people would actually confess their love for you to you and the two of us would be left out of it,” you grumbled. “It’s getting annoying.”

“How do you think I feel?” Tsukki lazily ripped open the card and scanned its contents quickly with his eyes, scoffing at the girly handwriting and hand-drawn hearts. “Pathetic.”

Without a second thought, he handed the card over to you so that you could read it as well. You chuckled to yourself as you took in the words of affection that resembled a Victorian-era love poem. You felt a little guilty about snooping on the private emotions of a girl who, as far as you could tell, seemed perfectly nice; however, you couldn’t deny the joy you experienced when Tsukki shared yet another sappy love note with you, inviting you to participate in the flat-out rejection and tug on your heartstrings just a little bit more. 

As long as he didn’t love anyone else, there was still hope for you. 

“‘The way your eyes sparkle in the sunlight makes my heart sing.’“ You read a particularly descriptive part aloud before handing the card over to Yamaguchi. “If only these poor girls knew that their most vulnerable feelings get scrutinized by a panel of three cynics like us.”

Yamaguchi chuckled heartily as he took his turn reading the card. Before another word could be said on the matter, however, the second bell rang and the teacher strolled into the room, bringing a halt to any and all side conversations.

By the time lunch had rolled around, you had almost completely forgotten about that morning’s events. Your stomach grumbling and your only thought being getting something to eat, you stood up to grab something from the vending machine but stopped in your tracks when you saw the girl from earlier standing by the door, her face even redder than it had been that morning and her eyes drifting from you to Tsukki, who had yet to notice her.

Suddenly, you remembered that you had encouraged the poor girl to talk to Tsukki herself, which even you knew was a horrendous idea. Sure, you had told girls that in the past, but never once had one actually followed through. Usually, you received a love confession, you gave it to Tsukki, you laughed about it together, and the girl would take her broken heart and retreat with her tail between her legs when Tsukki never so much as acknowledged her existence.

This was uncharted territory and you had no idea what to do. 

Turning to Tsukki, you pulled his headphones off—which he absolutely hated, but that was besides the point—and looked him dead in the eyes to set him straight before he could snap at you. “You see that girl by the door?” you asked him, and after glancing past you, he nodded. “She’s the one who gave me the card and chocolates to give to you this morning. She’s going to come in here and talk to you and I need you to not smash her heart into a million pieces. Okay?”

Tsukki opened his mouth to respond, but before he could, the girl had worked up enough courage to make her way into the classroom and was now standing beside the two of you. 

Smiling sheepishly, you backed away to give the two as much privacy as possible and pretended to be busy by digging through your bag for something.

“Tsukishima-san, did you get my card and chocolates?” the girl asked, her fingers intertwined together and her feet shifting weight nervously as she spoke. 

Tsukki simply nodded. With that, Yamaguchi returned from using the bathroom and you stood next to him near the door, the two of you watching from afar as the unknown girl confessed to Tsukki in the partially-full classroom. 

“What do you think he will say?” you inquired out loud.

Yamaguchi shrugged, never taking his eyes off of the interaction before him. “No. He’s never interested in any of the girls that confess to him. I don’t imagine this one will be any different, even if she is doing it in person.”

“Yeah . . . I just hope he doesn’t make her-” You stopped talking mid-sentence when the tears started welling in the girl’s eyes and she turned to rush out of the classroom. “. . . cry,” you finished your thought. 

Rolling your eyes, you returned to your desk, having completely forgot about getting something to eat from the vending machine, and looked to Tsukki, who was completely unfazed. 

“That looked like it went well,” you quipped. “Remind me to never confess my undying love for you.”

“All I did was tell her that I wasn’t interested,” he explained. “I don’t know how I could have possibly been any nicer.”

“Well, no offence, but considering you are you, I’m sure there was a way.”

                                ━━━━━━━━━━━

For the following 24 hours, no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t get the look on that poor girl’s face after being rejected by Tsukki out of your head. Of course, you had no idea what he had actually said to her, but whatever it had been had been enough to make her cry . . . would he say something as equally insensitive if you ever decided to tell him how you felt?

By some stroke of luck, Tsukki wasn’t at school the next day, giving you time to clear your head without having to put up a facade for hours on end. However, you hadn’t been completely alone the entire day, and Yamaguchi was more observant than you had originally thought he was.

“Something’s bothering you,” Yamaguchi said out of nowhere as the two of you walked home after school that day. “Do you want to tell me or do you want me to guess?”

You chuckled softly. “You have three guesses and if you don’t get it right, you have to buy me a snack from the corner store when we pass it.”

“Deal.” Yamaguchi nodded, an aura of self-confidence practically radiating off of him. “Okay, let’s see . . . you got a bad test grade?”

You shook your head, convinced there was no way he could possibly guess correctly. “Nope.”

“You don’t like what your parents are cooking for dinner tonight?”

You snorted. “Nope, that’s not it.”

“Ah, okay. One guess left.” He was silent for a moment as he thought. “Could it be that you’re upset with how Tsukki turned down that girl at school yesterday because you have feelings for him but now you’re afraid that he will reject you in the same way?”

You stopped dead in your tracks, your jaw dropping. Yamaguchi just grinned. The sneaky bastard had been playing you all along.

“I’m right, aren’t I?” He played it off as a lucky guess. “Does this mean you’re buying the snacks then?”

“I . . . I guess so?” You were unsure how to respond. “But, wait, how did you know?”

“Tsukki may be completely oblivious to the general concept of feelings, but I’m not,” Yamaguchi said as he started toward the store that was in sight in the distance. “Now come on, I’m hungry!”

Completely shaken, you moved forward without really thinking about it and followed Yamaguchi. After you paid for two candy bars, the two of you continued on your way, Yamaguchi munching happily as if nothing had even happened and you staring at the still-wrapped treat in your hands, at a loss of words.

“If you knew I liked him this whole time, how come you’ve never said anything?” You finally found your voice.

“Because I figured you would share when you were ready,” he answered. “But now I think you’re never going to tell him because you’re too scared.”

“Of course I’m scared!” You threw your arms into the air dramatically. “You saw the poor girl running away with tears in her eyes. You’ve seen how he laughs at sappy romance stuff. How could I possibly feel anything but scared?!”

Yamaguchi thought for a moment. “Well, sure, it’d be scary if you were anyone else . . . but you’re not. You’re you. Judging by this whole situation, you don’t know this, but he likes you too.”

For the second time in less than an hour, you had been completely floored. “He what now?”

“Did you think he really hung out with you all the time and blatantly turned down other girls’ confessions in front of you because he just thinks you’re a good friend?”

You nodded, flabbergasted. “Y-yes?”

“You two are so unbelievably oblivious it’s actually hard to watch you guys running in circles around each other. Just tell him how you feel. I guarantee he won’t turn you down.” Yamaguchi suddenly stopped in his tracks and gestured to the house behind him; Tsukki’s house. 

Without even realizing it, Yamaguchi had lead you right into your waking nightmare. 

You furrowed your eyebrows. “You conniving little-”

 “You’ll thank me later. You both will.” He shoved you up the walkway to the front door before continuing down the road to his own house. “Good luck!”

“Yeah . . . thanks,” you huffed, eyeing the closed door in front of you. You had stood on this porch a hundred times before, knocked on the door a hundred times before, but today was different. 

Maybe Yamaguchi was right. Maybe Tsukki did like you back, and the only way to know for sure was to simply ask.

Before you could psych yourself out or change your mind, you pounded on the front door three solid times and glued your eyes to the doorknob, waiting for it to turn. 

Less than a minute later, you could heard footsteps inside and felt heat rush to your face. Were you actually going to do this? 

When the door swung open and Tsukki stood before you, dressed in pajama pants and a sweater, definitely looking a little on the ill side, you felt your heart jump into your throat. 

“Hey,” you greeted. “How are you feeling?”

The boy eyed you curiously. “Better now, thanks. Why are you here?”

“I, um . . . I have a confession for you,” you said before you could stop yourself. The words just sort of tumbled out of your mouth and now there was nothing you could do to avoid the situation. 

An amused look spread across Tsukki’s face. “You didn’t need to come all the way to my house for that. Just throw the card out and eat whatever candy came with it. You know the drill. It’s just another girl who-”

“There’s no card or any candies,” you told him and he cocked a brow. “And it’s not from just another girl . . . this one is from me.”

His face paled and his hand dropped from the doorknob he had still been holding onto, an indication that he had been ready to say goodbye to you pretty quickly. Now, however, he seemed to sense the seriousness of the conversation and had decided it was worth sticking around a little longer for.

“I won’t stand here and tell you that your eyes sparkle in the sun or that my heart does backflips when I see you, because you’ve heard that shit a million times,” you said. “But I will say that I like when you share your music with me or when you let me in on your inside jokes. You make me feel really special and I like that. I like you, Kei, and I just thought that I should tell you.”

“Oh.” He looked eerily similar to a deer in headlights and you were just waiting for him to slam the door in your face. But he didn’t. His hand did reach for the doorknob once again, but instead of closing the door, he opened it wider. “Do you want to come watch a new documentary with me?”

That hadn’t exactly been the response you had been expecting, but considering you weren’t currently a sobbing mess, you knew it could have gone a lot worse.

“I would like that.” You smiled and stepped into the house. “I might not have a whole box of chocolates, but I do have this.” You pulled the candy bar out of your pocket. “We can share it.”

“I would like that.” Tsukki closed the door behind you.

From that day on, even though you and Tsukki never officially declared your love for one another or referred to each other as ‘boyfriend’ or ‘girlfriend’, you knew you had moved on from simply being friends.

And sure, sometimes you still got confessions for him from random girls, but it didn’t bother you nearly as much anymore. How could it when you knew, without a sliver of a doubt, that Tsukki only had eyes for you? 

[sukiglycerin]

dolce (sweetly, softly, gently)

* pairing: accompanist/violinist!katsuki bakugou x violinist!reader (gender neutral!) ft kamijirou

* genre: fluff, kinda angst, enemies to lovers, classical musician au hehe

* words: 9.5k (holy crap, this was a rollercoaster to write)

* warnings: swearing bc not only does bakugou exist, he is a prominent character, brief viola/second violinist jokes (reader’s words not mine), poor rosins being dropped :(

* a/n: SO this is very late for @prettysetterbaby​‘s v-day collab!! pls check out all the other talented writers involved >< jj is an ANGEL for putting up with me being late T_T  there’s some violin terminology in here but it’s fine if you don’t understand it! more notes at the end aha

* playlist (spotify in source link): violin sonata no.9, op.47 in a major “kreutzer” (beethoven) ; liebesfreud (kriesler) ; violin partita no.3 in e major (bach) ; duo concertante for 2 violins no.3 in d-sharp major, op.57 (beriot) ; clair de lune (debussy) ; duo for 2 violins in d-major, op.67, no.2 (spohr) ; 24 caprices op.1, no.24 in a minor (paganini)

* synopsis: being a soloist is not made easy by your new accompanist, bakugou. you step on each other’s toes when playing - but that’s alright, he’s just a pianist. you’re separated in your two worlds of musical instruments, until one day, you’re not. bakugou traverses over realms like a simple string crossing, and there’s a lot more he’s brought with him.

a double stop in violin is a technique in which two notes are played simultaneously. played correctly, one violin playing two notes should sound like two violins playing separate notes. if your life was a violin, you only needed double stops to play it. you'd perfected the art of being alone, playing the parts of two in your sad solo sonata. you were so, so sure you could compose and play for the whole orchestra - a symphony that would surely please the audience.

you were wrong. after all, a double stop has its limits as well, impossible to play with an interval of larger than a tenth. you were content with your double stops and playing by yourself. this was how you won countless competitions - what good would changing anything be?

you were born a soloist, or that's what your parents would say. you never followed the crowd, sticking to your own mind and doing what was true to you. you never worked well in an orchestra setting (and who knew what would become of you if you ever landed in second violin!). thus, you became a soloist, determined to keep the spotlight on you. it was you and your perfection that kept the eyes of the audience transfixed; you were desperate to keep their focus enraptured by every slight movement of your bow, every shift in finger position on the fingerboard. you wanted them to follow every dynamic and tempo change like their life depended on it, feel their emotion spark the moment your bow pressed a string. you were the only one on stage, an entertainer and an artist to the audience. you brought joy and sorrow through key changes and wonder through glissandos and held suspense with every tremolo. the audience was yours for an entire piece, for a story, for a lifetime.

oh, and there was the accompanist. what was his name again? batsugou? bakugou. the last part was a joke, of course. you'd never forget the man who ruined your first recital overseas.

katsuki bakugou was quickly made your accompanist after the previous one quit last minute and schedule clashes between any other potential candidates rendered them unable to travel with you. no one in their right mind would've come along on a plane to play a piano accompaniment for you. indeed, bakugou was not in his right mind. his name was prominent locally, an orchestral prodigy with the gift of perfect pitch since the tender age of thirteen. he never ventured internationally, though given the chance multiple times to do so. you could never understand why he never took any of the opportunities. you'd jump at any chance of expanding your musical horizons and performing for a larger audience, so it frustrated you to see someone with such potential to throw away possibly beneficial opportunities. not that you really paid much attention to him, anyway. bakugou was a pianist, and you were a violinist. you only cared about competition, not those with blessings you could only dream of achieving.

the months leading to your recital, bakugou had gone quiet. well, you didn't know him personally, so it was news of him that had gone practically radio silent. he was no longer featured in news articles or even pinned on bulletin boards for upcoming recitals. there were no updates from him on social media, too. not that you really paid attention, anyway. he was a prodigy, gifted naturally with talent, and you were a violinist.

an ambitious violinist, at that. you had dreams to perform anywhere out of the stifling air of japan. even to fly a short distance to south korea would be amazing, because it meant you'd be outside of japan. you worked towards this goal tirelessly. you dreamed of stepping on a plane, violin case in your right hand and your dreams in another, to fly to another country and perform. you wished to see the talent beyond your own bubble and feel the music resonate in an auditorium in a different way than it did in japan.

one day, that dream was realized. your violin case in one hand and dreams in another, you boarded the plane flying out of japan full of hope and the faith that good days were coming. while yes, you didn't expect to step out of that plane with anyone but your old accompanist, momo, bakugou's presence comforted you in the foreign atmosphere. for the first ten minutes, he said not a word to you but made it a point to speak to everyone else he could in what seemed like very convincingly fluent english. 

to which you finally mustered up the courage to say, in japanese, "i thought you didn't travel internationally."

his japanese voice was a comforting sound. "i don't. this is my first time out of japan."

you stared at him like he just said he ate babies for breakfast (which seemed just as astronomically insane as him never stepping foot out of japan). 

"but-" you stuttered. "your english is so good?"

"only because you can't understand it." 

to be fair, he had a point. you could only say the basics, like, "hi," "how are you?", "i'm fine, and you?," and the ever-so useful, "do you speak japanese? my english is not good." he appeared to never use any of these phrases, so he was a god in english compared to you. 

it was a miracle you navigated out of the airport with your luggage in hand and a general idea of how to get to the hotel you'd booked. you're not going to talk about the events in the hotel, though. sharing a bed with bakugou was a whole different story that consisted of him complaining about your phone usage at eleven pm and you complaining about his lack of sufficient english skills to be able to get the right hotel room (which he'd retort by saying "at least i speak english!").

the path to your first international competition was rocky, so understandably by the day of the performance, your metaphorical feet were sore and you only had water on your metaphorical mind. that is to say, you hadn't practiced with bakugou once until the day before the performance. said rehearsal was cut short due to misunderstandings as a result of bakugou's apparent not-so-fluency in english. you felt bad for him at this point.

and then you were up on stage, violin in one hand, bow in the other, and arms full of your childhood aspirations. also, definitely not prepared enough. you glanced once at bakugou before beginning and he looked confident enough. the lesson you learned that day was that looks can be deceiving. 

something you could remember quite clearly was the way the spotlight shined on the varnish of your instrument as you held it, propped between your chin and shoulder. you focused on this shine before taking a deep breath, closing your eyes, and praying muscle memory would take over and you'd play the piece faithfully to the score.

you liked to think your playing was accurate. you, the soloist, were the main focus of the piece. the accompaniment made the piece richer and fuller, complementing the violin beautifully while keeping attention on said violin. the thing was, bakugou, like you, played like a soloist. 

the performance was like a fight, and sadly not the graceful kind you'd see in a ballet. it was gory and a nuance to the ears, melodic tinkling of the piano becoming tears of a soldier dying in combat. at parts, you clashed by overshadowing the other by playing too loudly. sometimes it was you, and sometimes it was bakugou. it was a merciless game of tag; bakugou would be running to keep up with your playing; once achieving so, you were forced to start chasing after him. you can't exactly remember if he played well, though. for certain, he was not in sync with you, but you were mainly too preoccupied with your own playing to pay attention to his. listening to the recording of the performance, you were unable to evaluate his quality of playing properly, and thus, he remained your accompanist even when you returned to japan. 

(actually, the biggest reason he stayed your accompanist was because of your classical musician friends' nagging. they were all in complete awe that the famous soloist, katsuki bakugou, had offered to be your accompanist, and begged for an autograph. of course, you declined.)

you figured that like you, bakugou was a soloist. he wasn't fit to assist your playing, far more suited to his own solos to entrance the audience with only his playing. being a soloist, he played like one too - that's simply how things worked. this understanding of him, though, still couldn't stop you from harbouring a small grudge against him for ruining your international debut.

and then there was the man himself, all standoffish and rough in words and persona. obscenities had no hesitation coming (thrust!) from his mouth. he yelled brashly and frequently and it astonished you that he was a classical musician, as most of your friends of the classical music profession were typically on the quiet, softer spoken side. those that were extroverts were optimistically so, in far contrast to bakugou, who you'd expect from looks alone to be playing in some heavy metal band. it was scary to hear his renditions of debussy's dreamy, serendipitous pieces when over your earbuds, he was yelling at some guy named "shitty hair" on his phone. you were curious how he looked recording the piece.

you didn't typically communicate, though. conversation, which only ever existed during rehearsal, was a question from you and a clipped grunt in response. there was nothing else to your relation; he played his part, and you played yours. sometimes you did this simultaneously, but it was as if you were playing two completely different things. performance, according to your friends, was now stilted. this was partially the reason you stopped listening to recorded performances. it wasn’t even like you’d ever derived pleasure from listening to them - you only nitpicked your mistakes.

your old accompanist, momo, on the other hand, was an absolute angel. she was kind, polite, and skilled on the piano, fingers dancing over the keys like a graceful ballet. you fit well with her; each performance was like a delightful conversation between friends, pleasant on the ears and twinkling with joy and laughter. with her, every performance felt like something resembling victory, even if it wasn’t a competition. to you, winning the audience’s gaze was enough. 

then again, you didn't feel that you could judge quite yet. momo was your accompanist for years, and you could barely remember how the two of you sounded when you first started out. bakugou had been your accompanist for mere months (though it did feel much, much longer considering how frustrating he could be). you couldn't understand why he became your accompanist at all. 

opposites. it was an accurate representation of your relationship with bakugou. he was a pianist, you weren't. he was a prodigy, you weren't. he was blessed with talent, you weren't. there was nothing to talk to him about, obviously, because of these dividing factors.

the longer you knew him, the more your disdain for the man grew. at rehearsals, it always felt like your performances were about him, him, and him. he was the star piano player, of course. he hadn't volunteered to be your accompanist as a sense of "stepping down"; no, no, rather, he was flaunting his piano playing with a violin playing in the background. he played perfectly. for a soloist.

as time passed, these frustrations with him became more and more apparent. you became acutely aware of how his performance would outshine your own, and it sickened you. slowly, the quality of your own performances took a nosedive. if the piece was originally pianissimo, you'd take it up to piano (then, if bakugou increased his volume, forte). if the tempo was andante and he was playing moderato, you'd play allegro. it was a competition at this point - instigated by him, of course. you were just upping the ante, even if it meant sacrificing your own artistry.

a lot of people warned you of what would happen, but you ignored them. the fierce competition you felt between you and bakugou caused your own downfall as a musician. slowly, gigs stopped trickling in, like a faucet being shut off. you blamed this on bakugou. ("i was international before him. now, i can barely get a gig in musutafu! why does everyone think he's so great?" you had fumed over the phone to jirou, your old roommate from university. she asked you if you had even listened to him play.)

you were scrambling for places to perform at this point. (“fire him,” the very unhelpful hagakure told you. you didn’t know what you were thinking when you asked her, a violist in a local orchestra. it wasn’t like she ever got a solo.) you’d seriously considered doing so, but came up empty when looking for another accompanist. online forums and friends’ connections could only do so much. they were all either unavailable during rehearsal schedules or inadequate in terms of adapting to the music given. 

“you need to try working together with him,” jirou advised you one day over the phone. 

“yeah, say that to yourself and kaminari,” you muttered bitterly under your breath. kaminari was a guitarist in jirou’s band who hadn’t quite gotten along with jirou well. jirou made fun of the lightning bolt streak in his hair. when you first met them, all they did was bicker day and night; now, according to the other guitarist, tokoyami, they still did this, though on a smaller scale. 

she heard you. “well,” jirou said, slightly ticked off, “we get along better now. because of communication. look- i’m not saying you need to be best friends with bakugou or anything, but you need to talk to him about what’s working and what’s not. respect him as another musician, y’know?” 

“i’ll… try,” you said begrudgingly. 

you heard a muffled yell from the other side of the call. “kaminari, you idiot!” jirou called, voice a bit far. “what did i tell you about plugging in the amp? i said not to-” she cut herself off. “sorry, y/n, i need to go now. kaminari’s back to his normal antics.” she sighed, but it sounded more endeared than irritated. the call ended. 

respect bakugou as another musician. you could do that. bakugou was only a pianist. you were a violinist. he was your accompanist. he was to support your playing. you’d forever be separated from him, doing your own thing. he, certainly, couldn’t understand the woes of being a violinist. not the intonation nor the techniques; you were sure that if you handed him a violin on the spot, he wouldn’t be able to even hold the bow properly. the notion of bakugou, piano prodigy, struggling to make a decent sound on the violin with a bow clenched in an ungainly grip deeply amused you. 

these thoughts kept your relationship with bakugou afloat and restrained you from strangling him every time he stepped a toe out of line during rehearsals. ploddingly, with as minimal communication as you could manage, you tried to play with bakugou together, as a duet rather than as two soloists playing simultaneously. you swallowed your pride to play accurately to the music, patiently explaining any qualms you had with bakugou’s playing. 

eventually, you found yourself building up your performances to the quality they had once been with momo. it was still far from the pristine playing that led you to an international invite - but it was an improvement, and that was all that mattered to you. innately, you were slightly ashamed of the thoughts that allowed you to keep working with bakugou. they were thoughts that told of your superiority to him, because he was playing piano for you. that’s all he was; an accompaniment to you. you told yourself that having these thoughts on the inside was better than fighting with bakugou. 

somehow, along the strings of notes slurred together and shifts of fingers from one spot on a string to the next, you found yourself experiencing a strange joy gliding your bow against the strings of your violin. the rich sound of your instrument, withering and blooming with every stroke of vibrato you performed, fulfilled you unlike how it ever had before. up until now, you’d been playing for the audience, rather than yourself. the melody reverberating in the hollow body of your violin was never for your own ears to enjoy, it was for the audience’s satisfaction and listening pleasure. for it was their own enjoyment that won you competition after competition, playing with a blank face. on some occasions, you’d open your eyes during the applause to see some audience members crying, which ultimately confused you. how you were able to draw emotions from them with your playing when the music was unable to render you anything but indifferent? 

you knew it in yourself, though, that the happiness you felt was hollow. delightful notes supposed to boast joy and love echoed in the rehearsal room, falling flat on your ears.

you were a soloist, though. you couldn’t let thoughts like these get to you. you could only play, for both your pride and your audience. these woes were for you to shoulder, on top of the violin you held between your chin and collarbone. 

“you’re here early,” bakugou commented one day, opening the door to your shared rehearsal room. tucked under one arm was his folder of sheet music. he caught you in the middle of practicing one of the pieces for a gig - liebesfreud, by fritz kreisler. 

it was true. the morning sun basked the window sill and laminate flooring, warming the particular spots it shone through. you’d arrived an hour or so early. pleased by the bright nature of the morning, you pulled up the blinds. typically, you ran late, arriving ten minutes after bakugou’s text of “you’re late again, idiot” with a coffee and a bagel in your hands. those mornings, you were really grateful for having a case with backpack straps. if you hadn’t the time to eat your bagel on the way to rehearsal, it was cold and hard by the time you had a lunch break.

thankfully, today was not one of those days. whether it was the sun or the title of the piece (“love’s joy,” how wonderful), you’d woken up and decided that today, you’d have a warm and soft bagel for breakfast. you had a coupon for a free coffee and surprisingly, the commute to rehearsals was more punctual than usual. thus, you arrived an hour early, a smile on your face as you opened the door. you opened your case with extra care and rosined your bow with extra zest, humming a tune you heard playing on the radio. bakugou would’ve had a heart attack had he saw you then.

you ignored his entrance, only peeping one eye open at the man and nodding your head toward the piano as you continued on with the piece. you allowed yourself to become immersed in the music, following the soft pace bakugou set in his playing. closing your eyes, you saw the audience before you and felt your fingers sliding and pressing the strings. time flew while playing the piece; you’d barely noticed that the piece was nearing its end, playing its familiar melody one last time before opening your eyes. a glance at the rosin dusted in between the bridge and fingerboard of your violin satisfied you, like salt on caramel. you surely played just as sweet, smooth and saccharine like the gooey texture of a caramel confection. you relished in the sunlight streaming through into the room, ignoring the shuffling of papers behind you (from bakugou, no doubt). that was how you should play.

“something’s off,” you blearily opened your eyes to the sound of bakugou’s gruff voice. he was frowning, eyebrows furrowed in a not atypical manner. 

“what,” you said flatly. “it sounded fine to me. i didn’t mess up or anything.”

“no,” he replied, deep in thought, crimson eyes darkening a shade. “we don’t have proper… emotion in the music.”

“huh?” you felt a comical question mark rising out of your head. “i played it perfectly to score. it conveys the composer’s emotions to a t,” you said, getting annoyed with the pianist. your grip tightened on your violin’s neck.

“well- yeah,” he gritted his teeth. “but what about your emotions?”

“who cares about my emotions?” you said. “all that matters is that my playing is perfect. the audience feels the emotions, not me.” why else had you been plucked into violin lessons when you were five? surely not for your own enjoyment.

“idiot, that’s definitely not how it is.”

“it’s just violin playing!” you snapped. “it’s not complicated with- with emotions! it’s the same as anything else!”

“you’re wrong,” bakugou coldly answered.

“what would you understand?” you seethed. “you’re just a damn pianist. you follow my lead.”

he ignored your remarks. “why do you play a fucking instrument, then? why bother to enter competitions or recitals?”

“to win, like any other normal person!”

he let out a clipped, exasperated breath. “fuckin’ explains it, then.” he didn’t elaborate. dismissing the topic, he said, “whatever. play the piece from the top. actually try to look at me this time, so we can stay together. put more emphasis on the downbeat at the start.”

“it’s not like you even heard me play the beginning,” you retorted, but made sure to accent that note even more during the replay. pianists. they always were on their high horses.

something you looked forward to every year was the valentine’s recital. the organizers, an old couple, had known you since you were a child, and thus developed a soft spot for you. you were a shoo-in for the event, relied on to learn the music on a short deadline. last year, you played preludio, from bach’s partita for violin no. 3. this year, though, the catch was weird.

“the letter says it’s a violin duet?” you said to jirou while video calling her. “i don’t have a violinist on hand, just a pianist. it’s not like bakugou can suddenly master violin.”

jirou looked at you with a surprised expression. “you don’t know?”

you stared back at her. “know what?”

“he plays violin, too.”

“huh?” you must’ve misheard her. 

she nodded. “he’s pretty good, too. have you not seen the videos?”

“videos?" your eyes widened as you soon realized the implications of bakugou harbouring an aptitude for violin. "i’ve… i’ve got to go.”

“he’s as good as you, y/n,” jirou said with a knowing smile. you were quick to press the hang up button. 

five seconds into teenage bakugou’s rendition of one of paganini’s caprices, you exited youtube.

the next day, you kicked open the door to the practice room. 

“you,” you pointed a finger at bakugou, who sat at the piano midway through a piece. 

“what is it now, dumbass? you’re late again.”

“shut up,” you grumbled. “that’s beside the point. you- you play violin?!”

he shrugged, not avoiding your piercing gaze. “i’ve dabbled in it, yes.”

you shut the door behind you. “and why did you never tell me?!”

“tch. you never asked, did you?”

“you’re my accompanist, i should know these things!”

“you know i play piano, and that’s enough,” bakugou said stubbornly. “i only play piano with you.”

“not anymore.” setting your violin case down, you shuffled through the pocket that held your sheet music. flipping out a packet of sheet music, you thrust it in bakugou’s direction. “here.”

he grabbed the sheets from you, skimming the title. “duo for two violins in…. fuck,” he muttered. “why didn’t you just say no? who even is this from?”

“valentine’s recital. the pay’s good, bakugou, and we need it.”

“you need it,” he mumbled bitterly, holding the sheets out for you. “i don’t.”

“it’s not like i’m happy about it either. since when were you a violinist?”

“since when was it any of your damn business?”

"you're supposed to be my pianist! not anything else!"

you didn’t understand how he could be so musically inclined. you blinked, and your sight smeared, blurring the sight of your feet with the laminate flooring. this wasn't right, you thought as you felt a telltale heat creeping up you. why were you crying now? 

if there was one thing you prided yourself on, it was your violin playing. it seemed to be the only thing you were good at as a child when academics and athletics failed you. sure, you hated it at first (as most children did when their parents forced them to do something), but as time went on, the applause of the audience and the title of "winner" rewarded you enough. you were no prodigy, so you worked endlessly every day to prove yourself worthy. you never understood how you'd worked so hard only to be in the shadows of others so naturally gifted who surely would never understand how much you practiced to become better.

when it came to bakugou, he was never supposed to be better. he was your pianist, talented in a completely different musical realm than your own, so he could never be superior to you - and now he wasn't. he never was. here you were for the past year or so, looking like a fool in bakugou's eyes. on the days you struggled so hard with fourth finger vibrato, he was probably laughing at your inadequacy at violin. as easily as he played the violin, katsuki bakugou played you like a fool.

everything collided when you stepped out of the room, leaving a particular golden haired boy alone to stare at the sheet music you tossed him. your head throbbed with the groggy sensation of almost-tears and anger coursed through your veins.

you couldn't back out of the recital now. you couldn't. 

you couldn't stand to look back into the vermillion eyes of katsuki bakugou now. even more so now, you couldn't.

your solution?

"hey, what's up?" jirou's collected voice filled your ear, your phone pressed to it. 

"hey, kyo, i… kind of did a bad thing," you said, feeling jittery as you sought a commute home. you'd already made up your mind that your sorry-ass wouldn't be able to look bakugou back in the face for the rest of the day.

"...again?" she asked, tone concealing a hint of surprise. "don't tell me it was with bakugou. don't you usually practice now?"

"...usually, yes…" you sheepishly shuffled your feet, standing outside on the sidewalk. "i'll be resuming it again, 'course, when i get home…"

"why aren't you with bakugou right now?"

"that's… that's a long story," you laughed nervously. 

"i can wait," jirou coolly replied. "kaminari got his foot stuck in his guitar case - don't ask - so i have time." 

you considered asking about kaminari, then thought better of it.

"you know about the valentine's day recital they have every year? well, this year…" you recounted the events that led you to now, standing outside on the phone with jirou.

"where are you going to find a violinist?"

a silence found itself opportune as jirou waited for an answer. "i'm, uh, not…?" you said, deflecting the question back to jirou.

"well, you can't play both parts in the duet, can you? actually, don't answer that. i know you'd try. didn't you try that one time in-"

"what's done in uni stays in uni," you hushed her before she could recall that one time you tried to play a sonata with a recording of yourself. "aren't you going to tell me to try to make amends with bakugou?" 

"no," she said thoughtfully after a pause. "you've tried before, and it's not working for you. i don't think you should be forced to do something you obviously don't want to do. i just think," she continued, "you need to find someone to do the duet with, if you don't want to work with bakugou. but objectively, he's your best bet."

as jirou always was, she was right. you thanked her for her advice not before hearing a distraught kaminari shouting for jirou in the background, and then she ended the call.

you repeated her words in your head once you got home, sliding your bow back and forth on your small block of worn rosin. the score for the duet was spread next to you on the floor. it wasn't that you didn't want to work with bakugou. or was it? had you been that selfish all along, sabotaging other performances because you didn't like him? if even jirou had noticed it, had bakugou noticed it too? 

your sigh let out a thousand burdens piled up in your mind, blowing air out like dust accumulating on your tribulations. you picked up your violin and bow thoughtlessly, testing out the strings and plucking a couple with your left hand. 

was it really only you with the contempt for working with bakugou? you'd assumed mutual hatred with him after your international debut, but had it really been so? had you been the only one picking fights during the time you'd worked together? as you backtracked, your fingers slipped into a familiar position. you began a piece you knew positively by heart, an absolute favorite of yours for years. you played mindlessly, serenading yourself with familiar notes and string fingerings as you thought long and hard about bakugou. how much shit had you given bakugou? he hardly complained, too, but why? why hadn't he quit after you'd been so ceaselessly difficult with him?

why were you so angry at bakugou, a gifted prodigy since childhood? the answer found itself as the composition descended into an array of complicated fingerings and string changes, sounding like an incoherent chaos somehow strung together by the music. you pretended you didn't know the answer.

it was much, much easier to leave bakugou as just a pianist. respectable in his own field, and incomparable to you. it was too good to be true, obviously. all your life, you played to win, and couldn't allow anyone else to surpass you. violin was about winning, winning, winning. how were you supposed to cope when all those hours of practice were easily overcome by someone with innate talent?

the piece eased your tension with a fermata, drawing out your vibrato to think. bakugou's perfection infuriated you, you concluded. knowing this, though, didn't help with anything. you almost screeched the last note as the composition came to an end, unsettled by thoughts of bakugou. you really couldn't stand him.

in an attempt to distract yourself from your dilemma, you decided to start practicing the recital composition. you pulled out an old portable music stand, bending the parts into place and stacking it up. carefully, you placed the sheets on the stand and skimmed over the music, bringing your violin up to your collarbone.

your eyes followed one measure ahead of what you were playing as you sight-read the piece. ahead, ahead, was all you could think as your fingers fumbled the notes, eyes moving from the score to the fingerboard. bakugou was far from your mind as you caught up to the music, too preoccupied with the sharps and flats you'd forgotten and the time you had to keep. you were busied by the shifts and the repeat signs in the music over anything else. your priority lay here for the time being, after all. the sight-reading was almost enough to make you forget you only play one half to a duet. there was still still an emptiness that lurked between the rests and the redundant beats that even your stilted practice couldn't mask. you tried not to worry about that, though. 

time floated by as you repeated the piece over and over, playing for accuracy first. it wasn't enough, but you pretended it was. the metronome on your phone ticked away like time, endless and impatient, until you couldn't stand it anymore and packed away your violin. 

the proceeding day was filled with more of the same practicing, working on tweaking hesitations and polishing up your playing. it was kind of convenient, practicing at home rather than waking up early to practice with bakugou. you missed the bagel the most. 

you were definitely not playing your best, and it was clear by the way your bow occasionally screeched and how you fumbled the fingerings when you were particularly negligent. the piece just didn't sound right without the second part. (bakugou was definitely not the second part missing. not at all.)

by the third day you gave up and admitted to yourself that yes, bakugou was the second part missing. you were only a little bit miserable buying your usual bagel and coffee and rushing to rehearsals fifteen minutes late, aware that you'd be unable to eat it before practice. you were substantially less miserable than how you were the day previous, practicing alone.

you weren't surprised to see bakugou already there, sitting on the piano bench and tightening his bow hairs. he acknowledged you with a grunt as you set down your breakfast and beverage. 

"showed up, huh?" he said finally, voice rough. he stood up, setting his sheet music on a stand. you stared at him, awed by his nonchalance. he picked up his violin and bow (which, by the way, looked super expensive) and propped his violin up by his chin. it felt so foreign to see him in position to play violin, fingers already expertly in first position and wrist beautifully curved, yet it inexplicably clicked. the scene in front of you looked like he'd done this everyday, as it was always supposed to have been, his back confidently straight. his fingers arched over the fingerboard and his bow appeared mathematically parallel to the bridge, held delicately between his fingers. you'd never carefully watched him play piano (probably due to your distaste to him and lack of knowledge about the percussion instrument), but he made the violin look like an instrument of the gods. he hesitated, though, bow moving a centimeter then back. he frowned at your idle silence and turned back to you. "well? are we doing this duet or not?" 

"oh," you reacted intelligently. "yeah. yeah." it kicked in what you were doing by the time you'd started tuning your violin, first bowing your a string. after tuning your violin (with the help of a tuning fork and none from the perfect-pitched bastard bakugou, who appeared to be watching you with a triumphant gleam in his eyes as you struggled to tune your violin properly), you set your sheet music next to bakugou's.

"ready?" you asked, as if you'd been the one waiting for bakugou all this time.

"ask yourself that," he snorted. "i'll do the count." 

you nodded.

"one, two, three, f-"

"wait, wait," you said, squinting at your music. "isn't it supposed to be a bit slower than that?"

"it says allegro," bakugou said, tapping his foot. "need an italian lesson? lively, briskly."

"i know what allegro means," you gritted. "seems too fast, when paired with dolce."

"maybe for you," he smirked.

you narrowed your eyes at him. "and that means what, exactly?"

he opened his mouth to reply some smug, smart-ass answer, but you stopped him. 

"nevermind," you said. "do the count again, at the same tempo. i can do it."

you were bluffing, of course. since when was allegro this fast? you wondered as the opening notes sped by you in a musical blur. already familiar with the melody, you messed up dynamics the most. of crescendos and diminuendos? it wasn't like bakugou would notice, too preoccupied with his part.

the ending of the piece took your breath away, storming toward you in a whirlwind. adrenaline filled your veins as you raced to the last measure of the music, overcome by the tempo and the music. this time, full of energy and exhilaration, the piece felt complete. your and bakugou's sound surrounded the two of you, overflowing the room with a saccharine melody. it felt right simply standing beside him playing a two part piece, chest heaving from the piece's energy. you could only hear your breathing, a gentle encore to your playing.

"your playing is sloppy," bakugou said bluntly. he leaned over to your sheet music, starting to point at dynamic markings.

you swatted his hand away before he could say a word. "yeah, well, i just got the music three days ago," you interjected.

"you also had two of the three days off, so i'd say you're not doing enough." he glanced back down at your score. he pointed at a measure. "this is a crescendo, moron, why didn't you get much louder?"

"just- pay attention to your own music!" you said. "besides, it's dolce. i can get away with playing softer."

"that wasn't very dolce to me," he argued. "nothing sweet, soft, or gentle about that," he mumbled.

"i can be sweet, soft, and gentle if i want to!" you retorted. 

he raised a brow, as if a challenge, scarlet eyes glinting in the light. "tch. i'm sure you can, but your playing damn can't."

“it can, too! listen,” you said, impetuously raising your violin and bow again. you slowly started to play a d major scale, impatiently scrunching your nose and squeezing your eyes shut to concentrate on making the music soft and gentle, tampering with different degrees of vibrato and bow pressure.

“... that’s just piano,” bakugou said, moving to you as you bowed an a. your bow came to an abrupt halt, making an unpleasant squeal, as bakugou positioned himself behind you. you felt his body warmth radiating behind you as a sweet, homely scent wafted around you. he brought his arms around you, hands overlapping where you held your violin and bow.

“you need to be,” he murmured into your ear, gentle tone almost slurring the words together, "fragile when you play dolce." he angled your bow slightly, moving your hand. "bow closer to the fingerboard." the smooth baritone of his voice resonated within you, becoming lost within the violinist's embrace.

"most of all," he said, dropping an octave to an intimate tone, "you need to feel it. you can attempt to play it, but without feeling, it's fuckin’ meaningless."

"feeling?" you repeated blankly. “the audience’s, you mean.”

he stepped away, a gesture that made you breathless, and shook his head. he crossed his arms over his chest, unintentionally accentuating their volume. “your damn feelings. what do you feel when playing the piece?”

there’s a pause for perhaps a second too long, as you mulled over different answers in your head.

“tch.” his eyes don’t leave you, gaze a laser burning into you. “‘s what i thought. why do you play violin?”

you held your tongue from answering my parents. “to win. i play to win,” you stated.

“and that’s the damn problem,” bakugou said, releasing a breath of frustrated air. “you win to play.”

“that means…?” you were starting to get impatient with the man, who seemed to be stalling and dragging out your limited time. 

“you win competitions to play more.” 

you almost scoffed, but his words were plausible. “what’s the purpose in playing more if not to win?”

he made a scratching noise in his throat, cool demeanor shifting to that of the bakugou you knew. “l-l-” he coughed, “love.”

“love?” you repeated, the word a surprise to swallow.

he nodded, gagging on his reply. you couldn’t see bakugou as the romantic type - the same bakugou who called all of his friends demeaning nicknames and could barely say the word love out loud. he was explosive, maybe, and talented, sure - but acquainted with love? you pursed your lips at the stuttering man trying to advise you.

“whatever,” he dismissed, voice oddly hoarse. “just play it from the top. fix the dynamics.”

weeks passed in a blur, though bakugou’s advice was left unforgotten. it had, for the most part, faded from your mind but lingered like a ghost in an abandoned attic, stirring up dust in complete silence. it was valid criticism on bakugou’s part, but the problem was that it was criticism you couldn’t digest. it was a ghost that you could not rid of, whispering and lurking until your music played over it. 

four weeks before the performance, you had the piece almost entirely memorized other than a few flukes here and there. you managed most of your dynamics, playing in sync with bakugou by your side. three weeks and the piece was mostly smooth, foregoing all sheet music and practicing in the middle of the room with bakugou tapping out the tempo on the honeyed floor. any mistakes were recovered from quickly, and you were pleased to say that the amount of bakugou’s slip-ups equated to yours. at two weeks, though, he brought up the pest bugging your mind. 

“play with more emotion,” he sighed exasperatedly, letting out a huff as you played for him. “start on f sharp again.”

you’d tried time and time again, but the longer you’d replayed the same few measures (followed by his criticism for the nth time), the only emotion you felt was frustration. your bow would push too hard or your vibrato would lay on thick, immensely irritating bakugou. you didn’t know why he even tried. 

the air felt stale and the lights shone obnoxiously bright. the pads of your left hand fingers had hardened by now, indented with a pair of parallel lines from your unforgiving violin strings. you inhaled rosin dust and occasional bow hairs miserably dropped to the floor. your arms were tired, sore, and sick of playing; your ears painfully endured the same tune again and again, the originally fluid and sweet notes becoming high frequency static. 

“i can’t do this.” you were tempted to flop onto the ground, hopelessness pouring over you.

“you can,” bakugou insisted stubbornly. “you just need to try harder.”

“harder?” you would’ve snapped (and you were surprised your e string didn’t already by the repetitive motions on it) if you weren’t so exhausted from rehearsing. 

he nodded like it was obvious. “try harder.”

you shakily inhaled, trying to smooth your voice over. “i’m sorry i can’t be a prodigy like you.”

he stiffened, tense to the point of trembling. “whatever,” and it was a strained word pulled from his mouth. it was very atypical for him to give up like this, but you didn't care. you avoided his eyes as you restarted the piece, unable to bloom anything from it.

outside of your rehearsal time, you practiced. arguably, your solo rehearsals were more rigorous. you forced yourself to add emotion to the piece, sometimes playing for jirou. she agreed with bakugou (though was a great deal less irritating), stating that your playing was somewhat hollow. (you restrained yourself from knocking on the instrument and saying that yes, indeed, violins were hollow.)

"how… how do you get any emotions from playing?" you asked jirou at one point, watching one of her band's rehearsals. they were on a break, chatting idly and taking sips from their water bottles.

“well…” jirou started, glancing back at her band members. “i think about the feelings i want the audience to feel because of my songs. i think about how the song makes me feel, then i put that into how i play.”

“how do you…” you shifted uncomfortably, “know what to feel?”

she looked at you, taken aback, but replied easily. “you don’t. it just… happens.”

her response was vastly different than what you’d been taught a child. emotions? sure, there was perhaps a time where playing evoked a feeling in you, plucked something melodical from your heartstrings. it was when you were a child, though, so it was irrational and erratic, an outburst in the middle of your otherwise level playing. your violin teacher didn’t approve when you’d follow how the music made you feel. she said it made you stray too far from the original piece and would make you lose competitions. no matter how you pushed back against her, her advice haunted you over and over every time you got anything other than first place. 

your performance is the audience, she’d told you. you didn’t understand what she meant at first, but she made sure you did while practicing for your next rehearsals. the audience, she quipped with thin lips under her sharp eyes, is everything. if the audience wasn’t satisfied, your performance was worthless, no matter how well you played technically. you play for them and you win - it was that plain. there was nothing more than you wanted but to win, at the time. you wanted a trophy, a medal, a certificate stating that you were better than most. it was palpable evidence that you were good enough - for your parents, your peers, anyone. like that, you practiced, a servant for approval. you weren’t a prodigy, but you sure as hell would try to play like one. her advice worked for over a decade, soundly racking you up with countless awards that filled your otherwise desolate self-esteem.

you didn’t say anything else to jirou about it, instead thinking about the bits and pieces of human feeling you could extract in between your piece’s accidentals and eighth notes. perhaps there was a possibility, through the phrases of notes and dynamic markings, you’d find a word that said love. a renewed interest sparked itself when jirou’s band continued their rehearsals, finding yourself to be a normal audience member (maybe even crying at the end. maybe).

you returned home to practice, practice, practice, coercing any hidden message in the music to vibrate in your violin and echo around your room. you watched other renditions of the piece to find something you were missing, but imitating them didn’t seem right. this continued for the following weeks, hiding any potential development from bakugou (or trying to, at least). you knew you’d be disappointing him if you failed after trying so hard. it was only safe to play what you knew, secure in the written parts of the composition and keeping it at that. 

by the time the performance came around, you were glad bakugou never found out about your secret efforts. if he had, you knew he’d be sorely dispirited by your lack of tangible progress, your sound just as hollow as the soundbox of your violin. you failed, you knew, and as crestfallen as you were on that cold february morning, the show must go on.

the performances were held in an auditorium, warm compared to the snowy wonderland outside. it was typically couples comprising the audience, all romantic and pepped up in the spirit of valentine's day (white day was no different). some arrived early, finding seats in the empty auditorium and chatting amongst themselves (or sometimes making out, which made you want to throw your violin at them and gag). bakugou’s and your performance was last; it quite the heavy honor to play the finale to the recital. 

backstage was a vast contrast to the hushed atmosphere settled over the assemblage. hovering over the staff and performers for the day was a sense of panic, hurry, and hecticness. bits of rosin were scattered on the ground where you prepared for your rehearsal, some belonging to your block and others not. your pack of extra strings lay next to you on the sofa you sat on, arm resting on the side of the seat. similar to your violin's strings, spun tightly over pegs to be kept in place, you felt high-strung. the buzz of energetic excitement flitted in your head, knee bumping up and down and jerking your violin in the same motion. it was hard to calm when you tuned your violin to absolute perfection, relying on bakugou's perfect pitch to do so. the fine tuners on the end of your strings probably hadn't had a harder time in the years you'd owned your violin.

"you're shaking the entire sofa, idiot," bakugou deadpanned next to you. “some of us are trying to rosin our bow, unlike you.” he glanced at the floor, where amber shards of rosin lay amidst white dust (also made of rosin). 

“to be fair, most of those aren’t mine,” you pointed out. you reached into your violin case, finding the rectangular case of rosin and opening the top. "mine's only chipped in a couple corners, and the rest is just worn on the edges from my bow."

you leaned over to look at bakugou's rosin, two stubs in its case. "and i'm the one dropping my rosin?"

his ears turned a deep red, matching the velvet curtains on stage. "that's different," he muttered, putting the lid on his rosin and putting it away. 

"you ready?" you watched him swallow before speaking, not looking at you. you could hear one of the presenters speaking, introducing the first piece to be played (an ever-so romantic rendition of clair de lune), but the voices felt distant and muffled over the sound of your own nervous heart beating.

"yeah," he replied. he turned to look at you, scarlet eyes meeting your own. "what, you're not scared now, are you, dumbass?"

you gulped. "no… just excited," you said. in truth, you felt disappointed in yourself for being unable to find any emotion in your playing - thinking about the piece, you were devoid of anything but the measures and the notes. what was the piece trying to say in the white space between staff lines? after the clef at the beginning of the music, where did the emotions start and everything else end?

quiet notes, twinkling from the piano on stage, met your ears. you took a deep breath. how did they make you feel? 

…not very good, because this pianist was certainly a beat or two off tempo. a large hand on your knee startled you out of your trance. its warmth was surprisingly comforting. you followed the arm connecting to the hand to meet bakugou's concentrated face, eyebrows furrowed and nose scrunched. 

"don't shake your knee like that. also, why are you so damn cold?" he moved his hand away, leaving an imprint of heat on your knee. you hadn't noticed the physical manifestation of your nerves prior to bakugou's words.

you left his question unanswered, staring at your violin in your lap. you traced the patterns in wood, fingers following the shape of the f-hole and thumbing circles on your chin rest. how were you supposed to be able to pull living, breathing life in the form of emotions from an inanimate object? what sorcery were you supposed to manage to satisfy yourself and the audience?

you thought back to bakugou's words. what was it had he said you were supposed to be playing for? love, the irrational and sentimental flaw of life - somehow expressed from the symbols on a sheet of paper and through strings on hollow wood. what sort of miracle was bakugou creating with his music?

what was violin, if not just a task to do everyday? what was it, out of competitions and tests of skill? what was the sound reverberating within its vacant body, recording every shift of fingers on the fingerboard?

you looked past your violin to the rosin on the floor. friction, your violin teacher had explained to you. you put rosin on your bow so it creates friction with the strings, and thus creates sound. it was strange how friction caused the smooth sound of a violin. too much friction, added by pressure on the bow, made a creaky sound on the strings. without rosin, the bow would be too smooth on the string and make no noise at all. the happy medium of not too much and not too little created the familiar rich tone on the strings.  

a happy medium, you mused. in between too much friction and none at all. maybe that was how you were supposed to feel, in between trying too hard and not trying at all. that's what feelings were in the end, right? a natural human instinct, spurred by life. could you breathe life into the music?

the stage seemed almost too big for the two of you, spotlights centering you on the wide, wooden platform. the crowd's eyes were on you and your fellow violinist, some watching with drooping eyelids. they felt far, distant under the shadows. even so, the question still besieged you - would you please them?

you teared your eyes away to bakugou, who started the count. everything was silent until he nodded to you, your cue to start the piece. it felt too fast when you began but it was the same allegro you’d been practicing with. muscle memory took control now, your fingers finding their places easily. 

your fingers and bow took all your attention. everything else fell away - the lights, the crowd, the stage - until it was just you, your violin, and the music. you could practically see the score in your head, playing the notes you'd come to know so well. 

you heard your music echo and resound off the walls, but that's all it seemed to do. it touched everyone in the room, looking for a place to stay, and diminished in an empty space alone. it frustrated you that it wouldn't resonate - where was the love bakugou had so told you of? this auditorium was no different than your room, where sounds bounced off walls and landed nowhere. you weren't reaching anywhere or anyone, lacking emotion and any true substance. 

love - what was love if not a hindrance? how could bakugou expect so much out of you? love - had you ever felt it for the violin? dolce told you to play sweetly, softly, and gently, but what was sweet about the violin? what was so sweet about the imprints of strings on your fingers, fragmented rosin at your feet, and bruises on your neck from long hours of practice? what was gentle about the arduous replaying of the same measure, the ringing in your ears after playing to master a simple phrase? what was soft about the forte that rang in your head, the fortissimo that filled a performance and clouded your senses?

dolce filled you like an epiphany, euphoric in your eyes that finally opened and awakened. dolce was in bakugou's eyes, soft velvet like the crimson curtains onstage, downcast at his violin. dolce was in his sound as his bow skittered near the fingerboard, in his fingers sliding back and forth on his a string. dolce was in his grasp of his bow and violin, in the very essence he played the violin with. dolce contradicted everything you knew, reminding you of bakugou's soft hands over yours, guiding your fingers and bow. dolce was the morning light streaming into the practice room as you argued with bakugou over tempos and notes, the light glinting on shattered shards of rosin as you anxiously rosined your bow. dolce was the curve of your violin scroll, the bend of your fingers over your bow's frog. dolce was the white space in between staff lines on your sheet music and through half and whole notes. dolce was everything in between the rough of your violin experience, the laughter and smiling gone forgotten during sleepless practice sessions and violin evaluations.

what was dolce, if not a rebellion? what was it, if not a rebellion from the years of work and pain you'd endured in the name of musicality? what was it, if not laughing in the face of your violin instructors and the strict score you adhered to? 

when you opened your eyes to meet bakugou's, whose carmine eyes dripped with a burning passion and the essence of souls, you finally felt. it was the so-sought over love, scorching every note and stroke of your bow and bursting life in every movement, breath, and echo of your performance. it was exhilarating, living through every slur and chord you played. when you finally met his eyes he understood, a satisfied smile tugging on his lips as his gaze never left yours. this was it - this was dolce, humming sweetly, softly, and gently in your ears and reflecting in the audience's heart. this was dolce, making you realize that you never wanted to play violin alone again.

you picked up a rose that had landed at your feet at the end of your piece, holding it next to bakugou's confused face. in doing so, you reached your second epiphany of the day - perhaps the more important of the two. bakugou's eyes bloomed redder than the rose, deeper than the lowest note on a double bass, and maybe it was he that was the true dolce you were looking for.

notes!!

if you’re reading this, congrats !! this is my longest fic on my account (the record will be broken soon), so i really appreciate you reading this :> (spare a reblog, perhaps?)

first, explaining the playlist:

beethoven’s kreutzer - this was played in the anime, “your lie in april,” and i simply think it fits the “fight” reader and bakugou have. this was played at reader’s first international recital that did not go so well.

kreisler’s liebesfreud (love’s joy) is in the same series as his piece called liebesleid (love’s sorrow), also featured in “your lie in april.” i personally really like the piece. of all of these listed, i think you should listen to this one the most.

beriot’s duo concertante was the other contender for reader and bakugou’s duet piece! 

debussy’s clair de lune is simply a favorite of mine. it’s the first piece played at the valentine’s performance (and i like to imagine reader’s listened to bakugou’s recording of the piece)

spohr’s duo for 2 violins is the piece reader and bakugou play! it’s the second part of the duo in allegro, and i once tried to listen to it while following the sheet music. i was so confused every time i did so; i’d get lost and such, and figured my musicality was declining. nope. i was reading the wrong part. so, i started freaking out because oh god the dolce is in the first part, not the second, and thankfully, there’s a bit of dolce in the second part too! however, it did take me a while to decide whether to use the first part instead.

also, spohr invented the chinrest on the violin! crazy :D

paginini’s 24th caprice is considered the hardest out of all 24 caprices. imagine,,, teenage bakugou playing this,,, doing the left hand pizz and all T^T pain

there’s a lot i wish i could cover in this! a lot of reader’s own flaws (ahem, viola jokes) and development were something i couldn’t cover. bakugou’s arc as well! he had an arc a bit before this story takes place :)) tl;dr i’m very tempted to pick my violin up again and start playing

the frog of the bow does not, sadly, go ribbit. it’s the part violinists hold the bow by!

thank you for reading! i hope you enjoyed this :)

[mirrinbelde-shitposts]

hey girl💐i’d luv a chance to guess ur Mercury sign.. my guess is Capricorn Mercury, ur writings are very organized n straight to the point, smart too. Whether or not I’m right, i wish u a nice day/nite👑

this my chart;) thank u, take care!

Hey! You got it right, congratulations! Have a good day too ^^

Welcome to your reading. Please remember to send feedback.

First impressions when looking at your chart: sea-saw chart shape; MC-IC axis at anaretic degree

SUN IN TAURUS

Your Sun sign is Taurus. You embody the Venusian energy well: you enjoy the finer things in life. This sign is best known for being stubborn; with this amount of Taurus energy, I’m sure you’re quite stubborn, which is a more negative way of saying determined. When you get an idea in your head, you won’t rest until you achieve it. You’re quite friendly and probably enjoy gossip. You’re reliable and hardworking. Being a fixed sign, I’d say you’re most likely not great at dealing with change; you prefer things staying the same. Comfort is important to you, be it literally or figuratively. You are very attached to your earthly possessions; furthermore, I’d say you have a bit of a radical mindset when it comes to money: you’re either too frugal or you spend too much money. Beware of possessiveness and laziness.

SUN IN THE 4TH HOUSE

This placement is somewhat similar to Cancer Sun. I'd say family life is very important to you, as is your home, emotional security and harmony. In order to grow as a person, you should take your time cultivating your positive traits. You may struggle to understand who you really are: the answer is inside, not outside. At the same time, there may be a tendency to emulate behaviours of those closest to you, which may contribute to the aforementioned lack of self-knowledge. Focus on yourself; practice mindfulness. There may also be some sort of conflict with your father or another father figure. Perhaps this person was overly dominating toward you, which may hinder your journey to self-discovery. You may, in time, develop those same characteristics. However, this placement may start to manifest more strongly later in life.

MOON IN TAURUS

The Moon is exalted in Taurus. Placed here, the Moon is quite happy, for this sign goes nicely with its characteristics: family-oriented, home, comfort, calm, familiar things, loving and caring. As with Taurus Sun, you may place a big importance on material things. With the Moon, however, it’s a bit different: you may develop an emotional attachment to some belongings of yours, perhaps because they provide you security. You’re the kind of person to stay home and enjoy a hearty meal, cuddle in front of the fireplace and enjoy sleeping in a comfy bed. You’re quite calm and caring; however, expressing your emotions may not be your strong suit. You should work on your deep attachment issues because they can destroy you if the object of that attachment abandons you.

MOON IN THE 4TH HOUSE

Once again, the Moon is quite happy here, which is the house it rules. This placement ensures that you have a strong connection to your roots: namely, family and home life; it could also be interpreted as your geographic location. Unlike the Sun, 4H Moon wants to feel like a part of the family structure. Your home is probably your refuge when things get difficult. You want harmony and safety in your everyday life. You are probably sensitive and caring and these traits make you someone appreciated both at home and in the workplace. Also, this is a good placement for parents. However, you may lack objectivity, often letting your feelings influence your opinions. You feel deeply.

MERCURY IN GEMINI

This is one of the two signs ruled by Mercury. Gemini embodies the more chatty, talkative side of Mercury. You are curious, intelligent and love to possess and acquire knowledge of every kind. You are good at both writing and speaking; however, speaking is probably the thing for which you are known. Gemini is known as the sign that never shuts up; this is particularly true in your case, with Mercury in this sign. However, since your mind is always racing, you may lack an attention span, always going from one thing to the other. Staying committed to tasks and goals may be a problem for you because you get tired of things quickly. You are good with words and love to socialize. Emotions may be rationalized.

MERCURY IN THE 5TH HOUSE

This is a great placement for artists, especially those whose fields are ruled by Mercury, such as writers. It allows you to pour all your creativity and originality into your craft. Your many ideas are expressed in fun ways and your show a jovial way of seeing things. You may enjoy puzzles or other activities that involve strategy, as well as sports (yes, because sports also require tactics). Basketball, for example, would be a good sport for someone with this placement. Additionally, it's a good Mercury position for someone who works with kids or teenagers, as well as parents. You are creative and fun and it shows.

VENUS IN GEMINI

As is the case of Air Venus, Gemini Venus requires a partner that will spend hours with them talking about anything. You seek a partner that is intelligent and educated and who can hold a conversation. If the other person cannot keep up with you intellectually, it will probably be a huge turn-off. You want someone who is as smart as you, someone who makes you laugh and accepts your quirky nature. However, it may be difficult to find such a partner. You are not great at expressing your emotions, so connecting head and heart is a way to help this. Also, you tend to not show you truly think and you're always joking, so people probably wonder about how you actually feel about them. You are probably quite indecisive when it comes to love and relationships.

VENUS IN THE 6TH HOUSE

Here, Venus gives great importance to things associated with Virgo: routine, health, job. It is important for you to have your routine and to plan things. Once you acquire a habit, it is difficult to let go of it ("Old habits die hard."). Similarly, it is important that you incorporate activities with your partner in your daily schedule. Funnily enough, it is routine that makes you miss things you no longer have: for example, if you lose a friend, you may miss them more because you used to talk every day. You enjoy working on projects that make you feel like you're doing something meaningful; your chosen profession must fulfil you. You want a harmonious workplace that makes you feel happy to work. Also, you have an eye for detail. There can be a need to obsess about your health, as well as your loved ones'.

MARS IN GEMINI

Gemini Mars, to me, indicates that your battlefield is words. Your “attack” is how you think, connect the dots and put your opinions into words. This placement makes me think that you have vast knowledge in almost everything and you’re willing to debate with anyone about anything. I’d say you’re also good at multitasking and bad at routines. You could do with a bit more determination; Gemini is a sign known for its indecisiveness, so you may struggle with carrying out your thoughts and ideas. You have many different interests and can change them up quite a lot, sort of similar to Gemini Mercury. You would do well to be a little more committed to your interests and ambitions.

MARS IN THE 6TH HOUSE

The planet of action has its joy in this house, according to the principles of Hellenistic Astrology. Mars strongly wants to take action, but the 6th house forces it to be more methodical and less impulsive. Your workplace may become your figurative battlefield. You need to be active in everyday life, but you also want to feel that what you're doing is meaningful and makes you feel useful. Mars here acts strongly and concretely in areas of life that are related to work, mainly career, as I mentioned. This seems to be a good position for a leader in the workplace. Similar to Venus, 6H Mars may worry a lot about the body. A great deal of your energy may be directed into taking care of it, perhaps going to the gym is an activity you enjoy.

JUPITER IN CANCER

Jupiter is exalted in this sign. The planet of expansion and luck finds in Cancer a good means of expressing its energy, for the sign is a sensitive one. Whilst Cancer is already sweet and caring, Jupiter expands these traits even more. You are generally a calm person, who empathizes with people's feelings and has a need to both listen and talk to others. However, you can become very fierce when someone messes with those you love. You probably have a very motherly side to you that draws people in. Additionally, I have said that Cancer is the most intuitive sign: Jupiter in Cancer only makes this even more so. Listen to your intuition, which is quite accurate; learn to trust your gut feelings (for example, you guessed my Capricorn sign correctly :D).

JUPITER IN THE 7TH HOUSE

This placement is a highly auspicious one for relationships and partnerships of any kind. It elevates even more Cancer Jupiter because it allows you to fully connect with people on a deep level. You possess the ability to communicate with others and understand their feelings, which makes you someone quite great around which to be. It also favours the expansion of knowledge. All of this applies to romantic relationships as well. You may get into them easily and seem to usually enter the right ones (Jupiter grants you luck). You are quite a caring, sweet partner and bring a very good, calm energy to your relationships. However, this can be a paradoxical placement: on one side, you want that security with your partner and want them to be dedicated to you; on the other, you need your freedom. Balancing these two can be quite tricky, so your partner must understand both of these sides of you.

SATURN IN GEMINI

Saturn here may cause you to be unsure about the themes of Gemini: communication, thinking and expressing yourself. This can cause you to be afraid to speak in public or to withhold voicing your true opinions. You may delve into the study of every area of life or, on the contrary, avoid it at all costs. You probably ponder your words before you speak them. You may have a tendency to be introverted due to this. In a past life, you may have misused your voice, so your purpose in this life is to learn the power of your words. Also, you probably struggle with order, discipline and setting realistic goals. Saturns wants you to learn how to deal with these topics in this lifetime. You may have a lack of self-esteem due to the problems aforementioned. It is important that you work on these blockages.

SATURN IN THE 6TH HOUSE

You can feel responsible for other people, especially your coworkers, even if you struggle getting along with them. There’s a need to serve, to be of use to others; you may find it hard to relax. You are quite organized, so you’d do well to make use of it. You could also be the type to help others in the way to their goals. However, you should also understand that, sometimes, you should just let go and go with the flow. Not everything in life is about hard work, routines or responsibilities. Find something that excites you; try some meditation. There may also be some health issues, perhaps you had them in your childhood. ⬛

[fridlyckans0]

Training Your Dog Humanely: Part One

Welcome the Dog to the Human World

Have you ever watched The Dog Whisperer and thought, 'Wow, that guy is amazing! What a great way to train a dog!" I know I have many times. Cesar Milan teaches one basic principle about dogs - a dog is a pack animal by instinct. According to Cesar, your job is to become the pack leader, a dominant Alpha male/female with 'balance'. I guess by 'balance' he means you should treat the animal fairly, as they would expect to be treated in a wild pack. He gets very good and fast results with this method. I won't say it's a bad method, but it's not the way I choose to train my dogs and here's why.

There's one thing very wrong with the 'you're the pack leader' concept - it assumes the dog inhabits a dog's world, and for you to control it, you must behave as a dog would, the Alpha male or female of the pack. For the majority of dogs who are family pets this means the owner will treat the animal as though it had only instinctual processes going on in its head, no rational thought processes. To refute that thinking go and watch these two short videos of Lucy's behavior: Lucy Remembers Her Ball and Lucy and The Vacuum Cleaner (links appear at bottom). A dog does not inhabit a dog's world unless it's in a pack of dogs, roaming the wilderness like a wolf, bringing down prey and sharing its kill. This is not your dog. Your dog wouldn't chase its supper if it went hungry for a week! It would no more kill a raccoon and rip its flesh apart than would your six year old child! If you do have such an animal it's a sure bet that it's a dangerous dog, one that causes people in your neighborhood to cross the street to avoid.

If you become the pack leader, you've descended into the dog's world. Having done so, the dog will integrate well with other dogs, live in a pack happily, know its place in the human pack, and generally behave well, but it won't reach its full potential. When you adopted the dog into your family, you didn't decide to become a primeval growler, (which can work if you have the cahones to back up the threats), you decided to introduce an animal into the human world. As the two videos show, Lucy is an animal with human-like tendencies developed to the full potential of her smaller dog brain. She, like 99 percent of dogs today, belongs to a family, has been introduced to human concepts, and lives in a human world. It's better that you train your dog to live well in your world, rather than you in its, for the sake of the dog and yourself. You will have a much better companion, and so will the dog. The dog will learn to love humans above dogs.

Lucy is a thinking dog. Lucy will position herself at the ready depending on where a person places their foot behind a ball. She correctly anticipates which way the ball will be propelled by the positioning of the foot. She also cheats quite badly, arriving at the destination of a tossed toy before it gets there. Her brain has computed where you're likely to throw or kick an object. Lucy knows which way you will kick a ball simply by shifting your weight from one hip to the other, without even moving your feet! Better than a goalie in football (soccer).

Lucy knows several hundred concepts and commands, from Jump In The Boat, to Don't Go In The Street. She rarely plays now but when she was younger I would throw her ball into the street (a rural highway) and when she realized the ball had gone out of reach, rolling into forbidden territory, she would put on the brakes and stop before crossing an imaginary line. That line used to be a piece of yellow rope lying across the driveway about 20 feet from the street. After she learned the concept the rope was taken away, she was allowed to go out to pee on her own; I could trust her not to go past the imaginary line. That concept, Don't Go In The Street, is central to a dog being able to live happily in the human world. It's the difference between a deer or a raccoon crossing the road and your pet's thinking. It has learned that highways (a human construct not appearing in the dog pack vocabulary) are very bad.

Dogs have rational thought processes. Dogs have emotions. Dogs also have a conscience. Dogs learn to love. Dogs have language skills and can understand about five hundred human concepts with words. None of these things are in a puppy when you get them, they are learned behaviors.

A dog cannot do differential calculus, that's obvious, but it can reason out how to manipulate an owner into giving it food. Lucy was given a treat every time she asked me to go pee outside. If she gets slightly hungry, she has learned to ask to go outside, wait for thirty seconds and then come back in the house to get her reward. She will do this every hour or so until I've clued in and watch her. If she doesn't pee, the rewards stop, and so does the manipulative behavior since it's now a waste of time. But that shows you a dog can manipulate people. It isn't surprising really; a dog manipulates its owner many times during the day. If you rattle its leash, it will waken from a dead sleep and circle, pant and bark at the thought of going for a walk. That is doggy manipulation. The dog is saying how happy they would be if they went for a walk, and you're feeling guilty already if that wasn't your plan.

So higher reasoning aside, what can a dog do? It can learn. A dog can learn so many things you'd be surprised. If you simply teach it what it needs to know to function well in a human world, it would knock your socks off. Every day that Lucy and I wake up, we tell each other with hugs and kisses how happy we are that we have each other. Lucy loves humans, so much so that she almost ignores dogs. Can they make her food for her? Can they throw her ball? Her stick? Her little teddy bears?

There's a Border Collie in Germany that can remember any one of two hundred and fifty toys. Alan Alda of Mash fame visited this dog for Nova on PBS. The dog has all her toys in a big pile in one room. In another room she is shown a miniature sample of the desired toy (about one fifth scale). The dog leaves, enters the room with the massive pile of assorted frogs, teddy bears, squirrels, puppets, dolls, devils, Muppets, rummaging around and returning quickly, and surprisingly, with the correct toy. She does this flawlessly, even when it's a new toy that she's never seen before.

But once you've taught that dog human concepts, it's no longer a canine - it's a Canine Sapiens, a hybrid between dog and Homo Sapiens (which is Latin for Thinking Man). It cannot happily go back to the pack. Without wishing to conduct such an experiment, I went to England for two weeks and Lucy went to the kennel. The kennel belongs to a reputable breeder and Lucy had her own 'penalty box' (cage) placed inside a three by six foot kennel. There were other dogs there so you'd think she'd be fine, but these were 'Pack Dogs', dogs that the breeder keeps solely for breeding. One barks, they all bark. One runs around the yard, they all run around the yard. Lucy was having none of it, and their primitive antics had her stressed out. When I returned to pick her up she went wild with joy! She ran around the truck about ten times barking, crying, tail wagging, face licking, and all manner of expressions of love. I began to speak with the breeder about England but Lucy jumped into the truck through an open door and barked her head off so loud that she could not be ignored. "I guess I'm being summoned," I told the breeder. Man, was she happy to get out of there!

This is why several universities in the U.S. have stopped teaching gorillas and other primates American Sign Language in doctoral theses. Once the studies are over the animals are returned to cages in the zoo. No more riding around in cars for you! No more ice cream cones for you! The animals, now capable of reasoning to a degree, are back in cages languishing for the good old days with their human friends, unable to relate to the other primates around them. The universities have decided that it's unethical behavior to abandon them once they've formed attachments to their trainers. You need a PHD in behavioral psychology to figure that out?

It can be frustrating to try teaching a dog an advanced concept. If you find yourself yelling or getting frustrated with the dog simply back off. Stop. The problem is too complex for her present state of understanding and she doesn't know what you want. The solution is to break the problem into smaller steps. You didn't learn algebra before you learned to count, add, subtract, divide and multiply. You didn't learn to multiply until you learned to add the same number three times to itself. Dogs have similar minds to humans, except that they're somewhat limited in potential. But if you give the dog credit for being able to think with the ability of a three year old child, you'll be surprised at what they will learn.

Your dog has a conscience. How do I know this? Your dog dreams, which is a sure indication of a bifurcated mind with a conscious and a subconscious. The dog dreams after having a good day, or a bad day. When they've had a good day, they fall asleep and within five minutes enter the REM phase of their sleep pattern. REM stands for Rapid Eye Movement, and it happens almost right away in dogs. In humans it takes about an hour and thirty minutes. During REM sleep the dog can be whining, barking, chasing, wagging its tail, eating, chewing, swimming. You'll recognize a dog who is dreaming when you see it, trust me, but what that dream indicates is that it has a subconscious mind that's free to relive the experiences of the day. If it has a subconscious mind then it must have a conscious mind, because you can't have one without the other, unless it's in a coma.

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[violethowler]

Between Light and Darkness

As I briefly touched on in “The Heroine’s Journey of Sora”, a major component of the Heroine’s Journey is the protagonist being pressured to suppress important parts of who they are in order to conform to a set of traits that the world around them sees as desirable. More often than not, the traits that the main character suppresses are ones which the audience associates with femininity, and the ones the main character conforms to coded as masculine. This is why Maureen Murdock’s template gives its stages labels like “Identification with the Masculine” and “Urgent Yearning to Reconnect with the Feminine”. 

In a story that correctly follows this version of the Heroine’s Journey, the protagonist of a coming of age narrative learns to balance these traits in order to grow into a mature adult. This makes the emphasis on the importance of balance between light and darkness in the Kingdom Hearts series and how neither force can exist without the other a perfect illustration of this theme of balance. Even more so when you take into account that light and darkness are each coded to represent specific traits. 

If you pay careful attention to the way that characters talk about light and their connections throughout the series, there is a recurring pattern where light represents and is generated by the connections between people’s hearts[1]. When Sora tells Kairi in the first game about what he remembered about his time as a Heartless, he says “Our hearts are connected. And the light from our hearts broke through the darkness[2].” When confronted before the boss fight of Toy Box, Young Xehanort says “if the light of friendship is a form of power… the darkness of being alone is a power… even greater,”[3] and talks about how Buzz’s tremendous darkness is the direct result of his separation from Andy. 

So if light represents people’s bonds and emotional connections, then darkness represents solitude and the absence of connection. It fits with what we have seen across the series thus far, as the antagonists who we have seen utilizing darkness were all focused on themselves with no concern for anyone else, and why darkness is not something inherently bad, but too much of it is. I believe part of the reason some fans still associate darkness with evil is because it’s more immediately obvious to casual plays how easily it can be misused. The consequences of relying too heavily on darkness are shown overtly throughout the series, while the consequences of over-relying on light have been a lot more subtle, and have only been shown more explicitly in Kingdom Hearts III. 

In the first game, Donald and Goofy openly tell Sora “no frowning. No sad face” and “This boat runs on happy faces[2]” when the trio agrees to travel together. Though Donald and Goofy mean well, they are through implication sending the message that the peacefulness of the group takes priority over an individual’s problems. And we see in future games how this early attitude has affected Sora, as we see him repeatedly hide his own sadness and frustration in front of his friends, the only negative emotion he displays without attempting to hide it is anger. This is very similar to the beginning of the 2015 Pixar movie Inside Out, where Joy does everything possible to keep Sadness away from the control panel at Headquarters in Riley’s mind.

So if relying too much on darkness translates to focusing only on your own desires and not caring about anyone else, focusing too much on light looks like focusing so much on other people that you ignore your own needs. Taken to its logical extreme a light-based villain in a Kingdom Hearts game would personify the words of the late Leonard Nimoy in his iconic role as Spock: “The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.[4]” The best demonstration of this in the series thus far is Eraqus’ willingness to kill Ven and Terra in an attempt to thwart Xehanort, disregarding his own feelings for the sake of his perceived Greater Good. 

And the more one focuses on the light of their connections at the expense of their own emotional needs, the more their inner darkness is amplified. “The closer you get to the light, the greater your shadow becomes,” after all[2]. Putting on a positive front for the people around you only results in your negative emotions building and building until they finally explode out in a way that is harmful to both yourself and others. This is precisely what Young Xehanort speaks of in Re:Mind when he tells the Master of Masters about how the light of people he met on his world tour was a farce: every person has light and darkness in their heart, but denying their darkness only makes it stronger.

Sora has spent the entire series ignoring or refusing to acknowledge his own hurt, putting on a smile so that his friends won’t worry about him, and in Kingdom Hearts III the cracks in his facade are finally beginning to show. Even aside from his breakdown at the Keyblade Graveyard, we see his negative emotions explode out of him through Rage Form, and we see throughout the game how badly failing the Mark of Mastery exam has rattled him. He still has not accepted that his own darkness is not something inherently negative. 

As of the end of the Kingdom Hearts III Secret Episode, Sora is officially entering the Descent stage of the Heroine’s Journey. It is at this point that the protagonist must confront the parts of themselves they have been burying in order to find balance and move forward. It’s not unintentional that Riku is the character with the healthiest approach to handling one’s own inner darkness because in many stories I know of that follow the Heroine’s Journey the protagonist is able to achieve the necessary balance to move forward by learning from the example of their Animus.

Even if one ignores the metaphors or symbolism of the games and only looks on a surface level, the divide between light and darkness in the Kingdom Hearts series still aligns with the core themes of the Heroine’s Journey. Strip away all the literary analysis of what light and darkness in this series represent, and you still have a very literal depiction of a world that stresses the importance of balance between a trait that the dominant social group sees as desirable and one that the group does not. The contrasting traits whose balance is central to the Heroine’s Journey are presented in the Kingdom Hearts universe as metaphysical forces that have tangible effects on the material world, presenting through implication that in order to achieve true balance in the outside world, Sora must learn to achieve that same balance within himself.

Sources: 

[1] Reblog conversation between @kitsoa and @blowingoffsteam2 about the metaphysics of the Kingdom Hearts universe; November 16, 2018. https://blowingoffsteam2.tumblr.com/post/179836265129/kitsoa-blowingoffsteam2-sorry-this-post-is

[2] Kingdom Hearts; Square Enix, 2002. 

[3] Kingdom Hearts III; Square Enix, 2019. 

[4] Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan. Paramount Pictures, 1982. 

[cherrywineandmagic]

Weekly Readings (8/25)

Weekly 1 card tarot readings for the signs. Check Sun, Moon, Rising. Predictions, advice, and general stuff to look out for. Come back at the end of the week and see if things make sense! 

Sorry they’re so late! The majority of the signs had reversed cards which I thought was interesting! We’re certainly all going through it rn lol

Disclaimer: This is a collective reading and therefore may not feel applicable to each individual. If the message does not resonate, it was simply not meant for you. Some signs will have longer messages than others. This is up to what the cards want to say.

Aries- The Tower

Change is coming, my dear Aries, whether you like it or not. You’ve been denying this for far too long and clinging onto your past will only make the transition that much harder. There’s finally some clarity, whether it’s you or someone else realizing it doesn’t make much of a difference because at the end of the day, things will have finally moved on. The tower is bringing down all that doesn’t have a place in your life anymore (jobs, relationships, unhealthy lifestyles, etc). While at first it’ll feel like the earth just gave out right beneath your feet, you can rest assured that your heart will thank you.

Taurus- Five of Swords reversed

Someone left a bitter taste in your mouth and you never quite got rid of it. An old wound has opened up but instead of throwing some salt and making it worse, you should focus on forgiving and moving on. Working on restoring harmony is important right now, and it’s better to leave the resentment behind. You’ve been fighting battle after battle and you’re exhausted, but this turbulent time is finally coming to an end. Apologize, make amends, and march forward with a positive energy.

Gemini-Queen of swords reversed

You’re letting your emotions get the better of you, my dear gems. You’re usually such a good judge of character and situations but your relationship with someone is clouding your judgement. You’re not seeing things as they are because you simply don’t want to. You’re preferring to stay in a fairytale land that doesn’t actually exist. That person isn’t good for you, and dare I say, they’re quite frankly a bitch. Get your rose colored glasses off and analyze the situation correctly. Ignorance has no place in your life.

Cancer- Four of Pentacles reversed

Money can’t buy happiness but it sure feels good to spend, doesn’t it? I’m here to slap some sense into you, Cancer. Shopping sprees won’t bring you real happiness nor love, and while it’ll give you a few fleeting seconds of joy, it’ll also leave you broke. You’re looking for stability and what you’re causing is chaos! Next time you get the urge to spend direct your energy elsewhere. Try organizing your closet or alphabetizing your bookshelf. A little control will help you feel better.

Leo- two of swords

All I can say is YIKES. We have got ourselves a situation here, and you know which one. The one you’ve been ignoring, the one you’ve brushed off and said “that’s not a real problem.” Well guess what, Leos. That problem is here and she’s ready to knock down the door. Now is the time for logic, not decision making based off of your heart’s desires. Draw those boundaries that need to be set. If you feel that you’ve shut down that simply means it’s time to start up again. Don’t cling to unhealthy coping mechanisms.

Virgo- six of swords

You’re making the best out of a shitty situation and I commend you for that. Logic has guided you to this point and while the heartache is real, so is the fact you’ve made the right choice. The worst is behind you. You’ll see sunny skies soon enough.

Libra-Ace of wands (reversed)

Passion! Ideas! Energy! All things you have! But you need direction, my wonderful Libras. How can you go anywhere without knowing where you want to end up? You need to zero in on what your passions are. Find something that you love and feel motivated to work towards or else you’ll end up feeling bored and find yourself without purpose. Timing is essential so take not of when to start up new projects and when to advance in old ones.

Scorpio- the wheel of fortune (reversed)

Stop. Being. Stubborn. Seriously, you’re resisting this change and it’s just bringing on more stress! Take some accountability for your life right now. If your luck seems to have turned for the worst, analyze what exactly made it happen because chances are that they were your own bad decisions. Remember that once you hit rock bottom the only way is up.

Sagittarius- Knight of Cups

Harmony and romance! All these positive things for someone who is thrilled to thrive off of them. You’re making decisions based off of your intuition and she’s leading you the right way. Perhaps someone has charmed you. A poet? An artist? Someone who loves with their heart on their sleeve and has managed to capture your attention. Know their intentions are pure.

Capricorn- Queen of Wands (reversed)

You have finally found yourself, my dear Capricorn. You stand firmly on your beliefs and know what you deserve and what you want out of life. This level of self-respect is something to be celebrated! Give yourself a pat on the back for such a wonderful feat. You may feel the need to be alone this week and that’s perfectly okay. Take all the time you need to linger in the background, alone time does the soul well.

Aquarius- Six of Swords (reversed)

An intensely personal journey is leaving you isolated. You keep trying to rationalize why you should stay where you are and that you can handle it, but your heart knows that’s not true. This can be a job or relationship that’s no longer serving you. Take a look at what it is that’s making it so difficult to move on, and try to resolve your issues so that you may transition peacefully.

Pisces- the Lovers (reversed)

You tend to romanticize things and that’s part of your nature. You’re a romantic. You love love and that’s a wonderful thing. However, you shouldn’t romanticize someone more than they do you. There’s no balance here. Someone is more invested than the other and that means someone is going to get hurt. Love is endless, so know that it will always find it’s way back to you in time.

[dorseythorsen7-blog]

The Maharishi Ayurveda Strategy to Weight Loss with Nancy Lonsdorf M.D.

Maharishi Ayurveda Approach to Weight Loss: 5 Easy Tips to A Much Healthier Weight Although different people carry weight troubles for different factor, these 5 pointers address basic lifestyle routines that influence practically everyone. The great news is that these 5 powerful pointers are simple to carry out and could bring about terrific changes in your life and wellness when in place. Factor 1. Eat a light evening dish with easy-to-digest foods Everyone handling fat burning concerns has to understand that it is virtually impossible making severe progression if you continue to eat big night meals with heavy foods! I can not emphasize this point way too much. Ayurveda explains that food digestion is much less strong at night, plus lying down to sleep a couple of hrs later further reduces food digestion, metabolic process and blood circulation. The body just could not assimilate large evening dishes appropriately. The outcome is that much of the food is absorbed inadequately as well as at some point creates toxins, fat as well as excess weight. For lots of people utilizing the approaches of consuming much less throughout the day, herbs, tablets, special powders and beverages, or even workout could not conquer this most major of all fat burning errors. Particularly stay clear of at night: cheese, yogurt, rich desserts, red meat, leftovers of any kind of kind, cool foods, refined foods.

Prevent or decrease in night dishes: fowl, fish, treats Evening meals ought to be vegetarian, warm, light and liquidy. If good cooking are considerably overweight the foundation of the night dish ought to be 1) non-cream soups, 2) grains prepared in water (for example rice, quinoa, cous cous, barley), and also 3) vegetables either steamed, roasted or sauteed with percentages of additional virgin olive oil. If you have to have treat, I advise prepared fruit treats made with just percentages of organic sugar. 2. Consume the biggest dish of the day at lunch with a variety of warm, cooked food. Lunch is the time our bodies can best digest and correctly take in larger quantities of food due to the fact that food digestion is toughest at noontime and also we have many active hrs to metabolize the food before we sleep. Lunch is one of the most important dish of the day and the dish we most should strategy and also prepare for. Lunch needs to be cozy, prepared foods with a variety of tastes and also meals. Cozy food is vital as it can be more conveniently absorbed and absorbed. Cold foods subdue digestion (remember your chemistry- cool temperature level reduces chemical reaction, as well as food digestion is chemistry!) The result of normal meals of cold foods is acid indigestion, the buildup of ama (undigested particles that block the channels,) and weight gain. Having a wide array of foods is essential for nutrition as well as to stop the body from creating food cravings-the failure of numerous a well-meaning diet strategy. Food desires usually happen due to imbalanced diet plans that consisted of only a few food types. Diet plans restricted to mainly carbohydrates or healthy protein or fat ultimately lead to undernourished cells that truly send out appetite messages to our mind. Even though we have actually simply completed consuming a large quantity of food, parts of our body are still really malnourished and also hungry. However if we do not understand this when the appetite signals come we might reach for a lot more carbohydrate rich as well as thick foods like treats when in fact we require green veggies and vegetable soups. A great, balanced lunch additionally helps us feel less starving in the evening, making it simpler to adhere to that all-important light night meal. 3. Drink hot water frequently throughout the day By drinking hot water throughout the day you help cleanse the gastrointestinal system and entire body of clogs and also impurities. Hot water drinking enhances digestion as well as assimilation of food and aids stop the body from ending up being toxic as well as clogged. It additionally is an excellent aid in decreasing food cravings in between meals. I have actually understood individuals who shed over 50 pounds by following just this single referral. Lots of people can achieve the hot water recommendation by getting a good thermos and also having a cup sitting on a small cup-sized warmer. You can put your hot water in the mug, placed it on the warmer and drink it throughout the day as you function. One of the most purifying as well as cleaning water is water that has been boiled for about 10 minutes. Boiling water for ten minutes reduces its heaviness (you will typically see a fine powder below the pan that consists of precipitated materials from the water) and energizes the water. Consuming water from your warm water dispenser at the workplace is better than not consuming alcohol any type of in all, but is not as effective as boiled water. 4. Avoid leftovers Maharishi Ayurveda holds that putting food back in the refrigerator after it has been cooked seriously degrades the high quality of the foods as well as their digestibility. Even if you heat it up after you take it out of the refrigerator, it has actually shed its life providing freshness. We get more than molecules from food. We also obtain freshness, life force (prana) as well as nature's knowledge from our foods. Physics tells us there is a classical world of particles but also a quantum mechanical world of resonance. The resonance of the much deeper fields which consist of nature's life-force and knowledge get damaged by cooling prepared food. Consequently leftovers easily bring about incorrectly absorbed waste products called "ama" that collect in the body triggering contaminants, clogs, too much weight gain and cause several illness. The reverse concept summarize the significance of Ayurvedic food guidelines. " Eat fresh food, newly prepared" As a result of the activity of our lives, and also logistics of buying as well as cooking, this simple statement could be hard to attain however every step in this direction will certainly assist us with weight administration and also general health. A hassle-free means to get a home-cooked, almost fresh meal of pure, wholesome components for lunch daily, is to prepare barley and also lentils (a great fat-busting combination) overnight in a crock pot. In the early morning, include chopped veggies and also some seasonings sautéed in olive oil (try cumin, black pepper, fresh ginger root, coriander and turmeric.) Put in a wide-mouth thermos as well as bring for lunch. Include some rye crackers (one more fat breaking grain according to Ayurveda,) and fresh fruit for a well-balanced, pure and also nourishing lunch. 5. Obtain Moving! I saw a heading in a health and wellness paper a long time ago that made a good point "Stop Weight loss and Start Moving" Exercise is an antidote for practically whatever that ails us. It boosts digestion, metabolism, elimination, skin, body tone and also stamina, bone density, as well as helps us normalize weight. It is additionally psychologically positive as it could be delightful, rise self-worth and bring us higher power, quality as well as success throughout the day. At the very least require time everyday to get out and walk. Review your routine and take walks whenever you can squeeze them in. Be watchful to take chances to stroll. It is especially good to stroll after meals as well as specifically healthy and balanced to walk after the night meal. Additional pointers: Go to sleep by 10:00 PM. Metabolic rate of waste items takes place after 10 PM and also is decreased by being wide awake as well as active, or eating the proverbial "midnight treat," right now Include gastrointestinal enhancing, fat-busting spices to your meals like fresh ginger, cumin, black pepper, turmeric and fenugreek. Maintain GOOD snacks around to stop you eating poor snacks. Examples of excellent treats are fresh fruits, dried out fruits, nuts, fresh pressed veggie juices as well as whole grain crackers. Practice reflection and yoga day-to-day to maintain body and mind well balanced minimize the mental food cravings for food. (Based on numerous scientific studies recording its health and wellness benefits, I advise the TM method for my people). Take a walk in the early morning. Workout of some type outdoors in the morning sun has a powerful favorable impact on mind, emotions as well as energy throughout the day. Take Panchakarma therapies two times a year. Maharishi Ayurveda recommends panchakarma (the massage, heat therapies as well as internal cleansing treatments of Ayurveda) be done twice a year to avoid contaminations from building up and eliminating their accumulation in bodily cells. (A current research study released in Different Therapies in Health and wellness and Medicine documented the reduction by 50% of the cancer triggering chemical PCB in the blood after 5 days of Maharishi Renewal Treatment, a specific program of panchakarma.). Consume generally natural added virgin olive oil. Organic ghee is also appropriate in small quantities (1-2 tsp. daily) or otherwise at all if you are obese and/or have high cholesterol. Avoid any non-organic vegetable oils especially corn and also soy oil. Oils are probably the most important food team to get right, as unclean oils can contribute to numerous conditions otherwise used effectively. Recap. Health is won or lost in just how we live everyday life. I encourage everyone with weight monitoring concerns to take campaign and jump on a higher spiral of healthy activity. Your quick reward will certainly be higher quality, joy and a lighter, much healthier body.

[maraschinocheri]

Best of 2017 Countdown #1 :: Him, brought home. [ 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 ]

What could I possibly say that I haven’t said already, and multiple times? Maybe this: that Killian Donnelly’s return to Les Miserables to play Jean Valjean six years and a day after he took his last bows as Enjolras seemed like an only half-possible dream, one I imagined might come true in another five years if we were lucky, but then just—did, here and now.

Investment can be defined as an act of devoting time, effort, talent, or emotional energy to a particular undertaking with the expectation of a worthwhile result. To say that Killian is invested in Les Mis, and vice versa, would be a colossal understatement, but let’s go with it anyway. In an ideal world, an actor retains more than just respectful memory of a good first professional job, especially if said actor has walked into that job through the side door, utterly without training beyond amateur dramatics, but with one hell of a rich voice, a rough presence, and enough self-deprecatory cheer to knock over jaded producers. That Killian takes every chance possible to credit Les Mis for everything it’s given him since all the way back in 2008—for the education and experience and friendships and the rounding off of his many physical and vocal edges as he progressed from Swing to Enjolras in 2010/2011—is a testament to his love for the show, and good god, does it ever love him back. If I remember correctly, the only male roles he’s not played in the show are Marius and Thenardier, and he’s found something to bring to every other.

Still, Valjean is no bone-throw of a gift to an actor, even one so deeply part of the Les Mis family. It is an investment in an actor and his gifts both as actor and as man, a mutual commitment between show and actor to carry this monster on that actor’s shoulders and back, sometimes somewhat literally. He may have been surprised by the call to audition for Valjean—I say may because I don’t entirely believe that, whatever enthusiastic bright-eyed and bubbling noises he’s made to that effect in interviews—but he should not have been. No one in a position to influence or be influenced could have missed the trajectory Killian had taken over the last few years, and the timing was good for both the show and Killian himself. The trust implied in allowing Killian to step in with what was essentially fewer than ten good days of rehearsal after he’d left New York speaks volumes; it means a great deal more than just thinking he’d remember how to deal with the revolve.

So, the casting. After an early spring of going over and over it again in my head and weighing several things that had happened around and with Killian in NYC over the weeks before and one offhand conversation, I woke up on Thursday 27 April thinking this is it, this has to be it; if it’s going to happen, make it today. Baz Bamigboye of the Daily Mail typically releases casting news and/or gossip on Twitter late on Thursday nights in the UK/early Thursday evenings in the US, so I had one screen open with that while another showed something that … might have been work, if I hadn’t been so distracted. Then the news came, and it’s rather pointless for me to even pretend I didn’t tear up and feel that old fanfic trope, that release of breath you didn’t know you’d been holding. (There was also some light screaming.) The rehearsal period was going to be so short and brutal, and Killian would be coming straight off an (albeit joyously, finally) emotional run in Kinky Boots on Broadway, but it would be so worth it.

The West End Live performance was a ride. Killian’s Bring Him Home had me rather nervous, and I didn’t love every choice he made, but One Day More was perfection—it was so wonderful to hear Valjean carry the song, and to hear that glorious voice ring out every single One day more! through the crashing wildness at the end of it. I knew at that point that all would be well, that even so soon into the run he’d found something to act as foundation and that he’d continue to grow in the role—and he has. The photo above of him onstage in Trafalgar Square, alone, looking out into the crowd that day made my cold, blackened heart fill with warmth and an absolutely ridiculous, unearned pride that hasn’t abated yet.

Is Killian’s Valjean perfect? No; this year’s resident direction has rushed the production to a point where emotional impact suffers, costing Killian in terms of getting some of Valjean’s truly strong moments across; and he’s occasionally still just as baffled by the end of Who Am I? as he was when he was covering the role. Is his Valjean truly his own? For the most part; there is little to point to in his take that one can say ‘belongs’ to other Valjeans, certainly not to the ones with whom he worked from 08–11. Is it worth the time and effort and the emotional energy—the investment of the show and of Killian himself? Indisputably.

No matter how many words I throw at this screen, I can’t put across how much it is. That beautiful clear bell of a voice that both carried the most gorgeous version of Bring Him Home I’ve ever heard is not what you hear now; it has matured, obviously, as has Killian. But the years between then and now have not harmed much, and in terms of acting, he can go to the most haunted (and hunted) places now, in ways that never rang completely true before, and as I suspected would happen, in the one-on-one scenes, everything he’s learned over the past few years—most especially in Memphis—has made him an incredibly generous actor, tender and careful in one moment, and challenging and thrillingly baton-passing in the next.

(And given that it is me writing this, a moment in the shallow end of the pool: he looks fucking incredible from Monsieur Madeleine until the finale; it’s as if costumes and makeup and wigs have been waiting for this Valjean their whole lives. I confess to making terribly obscene noises at the first appearance of M. Madeleine in Jeremy Secomb’s scarecam video, and the production photography had me half off my chair. No one is surprised, either by that admission or that I gave that photo precedence above.)

Killian has said that when covering Valjean, the show seemed to fly by in an emotional and physical rush; I imagine both that he’s learned the pacing now but still gets caught up in it, and that while he’s not entirely comfortable in the role of Show Dad the way some Valjeans have been, his leadership is in place and his love and respect for his castmates is genuine. He offers advice when asked (and is down for the Yoda comparison) and strongly encourages the work of the Swings and ensemble. For the beginning of the run, Killian was able to share the stage with his very good mate Jeremy Secomb—a nice way to get his feet back under him again, especially with such a compacted rehearsal time, and a few months they both deeply appreciated. His relationship with Hayden Tee is obviously different, but still massively good fun. Both Javerts have challenged and welcomed and worked with him so well.

And come 22 January, everything levels up another notch and possibly to infinity with the return of David Thaxton as Javert. This was my greatest wish for Killian-as-Valjean: to have this remarkable foil in Thaxton, to allow their intense rapport to translate to these two roles. (For the sake of everyone’s sanity, I’ve redacted a short essay on the loss of their potential Enjolras & Grantaire double-act, which never properly materialized after Killian chose not to accept the role of Grantaire in 2009.) I’d hoped for it for a very long time, knowing that that the possibility required Killian to mature on several levels and Thaxton to not grow bored or bitter. Having talked about the possibilities involved there quite a lot before, I won’t go further into them now (though I certainly could, given Killian’s take on Valjean as it stands at the moment), but I will say that I cannot wait to see what they bring to and out of each other again. (And to catch Killian watching Stars from the wings again, losing it on a whole new level.) As a fan of the show itself, of each actor, and of the combination of all three, I will put on the table right now that the next six months of Les Miserables in the West End are going to be for the books. As the song says, and all our debts are paid.

If you’ve made it this far, I hope you understand a bit why I can’t—and have no intention to—shake that ridiculous, unearned pride in Killian, for returning to the Queens, for bringing with him glorious perspective and maturity and joy and responsibility, for coming back—home.

[whatliesabove-blog1]

small, quiet room

Chapter two | on ao3: here 

Hawkins, fourteen years ago

Balancing a three year old Jonathan on her hip, lest he wander too far, Joyce does her best to grab a few items from the shelves and toss them into the shopping basket. She doesn't get everything she should, doesn't really have the money right now, but she makes sure to prioritize everything Jonathan needs.

Her job at the local hardware store doesn't exactly pay the bills; she may spend weeks eating smaller meals or going without the basics, but if one thing's certain she makes damn sure her son never does.

"Joyce, hey."

Turning, she smiles to find Karen standing on the other side of the aisle. "Hi," she says, hoisting Jonathan higher on her hip.

"How are you?"

She hasn't seen Karen in a while, most of her time taken up by her day job or being a full-time mom, but it's always nice to see a friendly face. Most of the town isn't as forthcoming. Ever since they caught wind of her pregnancy, straight out of high school no less, she's been the talk of the town. Everything she did was suddenly fodder for gossip. She'd get disapproving looks and tuts from those she passed, the prevalence only increasing the more she began to show. Now, even three years down the line, she still notices people whispering when they see her out and about. It's worse when she has Jonathan with her.

Lonnie, though, they pity. Poor boy, so young, future ruined.

She should probably feel guilty for having imposed this life upon him when he technically has nothing to do with it. Should, but she doesn't; instead, she feels anger. At him for showing his true colors and disappearing when this is, for all intents and purposes, their child, and at the town for parading her as the local slut and him as a pariah.

"I'm good," Joyce answers, offering a small smile. "Doing my best."

"You’re one of the strongest people I know, Joyce. Everything else will blow over.” Karen rolls her eyes, waves a hand. “Screw them."

"Didn’t you hear? I already have."

Her friend's face softens. "No one who knows you believes that shit, Joyce." Karen smiles then, reaches out to ruffle Jonathan's hair. "Hi, buddy."

Jonathan smiles and hides his face in his mother's neck, shy.

"He looks like him."

Joyce stiffens a little, sighs. "I know," she murmurs.

As her boy gets older he's starting to look more and more like his father. He has her dark eyes but much else comes from Hopper; the shape of his face, the slope of his little nose, and most notably his blonde hair. She thinks it'll darken with age, change to a lighter brown, but right now it resembles the old photographs she's seen of Hopper as a child. Her heart lodges itself uncomfortably in her throat every time she thinks too intensely about it.

Karen regards her strangely, something very off showcased in her body language, in the way she purses her lips. If she knows her friend like she thinks she does, this can only mean one thing: she has something to say but she doesn't know how to, or if she should.

It's never stopped her before—Karen's known for her blunt comments—but with Joyce she's always been a little more reserved when it comes to sensitive topics, more concerned with how she'd feel.

"He's back, you know."

Her heart stutters in her chest. She didn't know, but she's not exactly kept apprised on the latest town rumblings. As someone who's frequently at the center of such gossip, she generally ignores them all together. Perhaps keeping slightly in the loop wouldn't be a bad thing; it'd keep her from more near-panic attacks in the middle of the grocery store.

"Oh."

"Oh?"

Joyce clears her throat. "I'm—I'm glad he made it back."

She pushes back the feeling deep in her gut, the one that wants to weep knowing he's okay, that he's come back from war in one piece. The one that's equally anxious and absolutely terrified to run into him.

Her friend sighs. "What are you going to do?"

"I'm... gonna keep living my life, Karen. I really am happy he's back; I never wanted him to not come back. But it doesn't change anything."

"It changes everything," Karen argues.

Shoppers pass the two of them and Joyce turns her attention back to Karen with a pointed look.

"Can we not have this conversation right here?"

"Fine. Ring your stuff up and meet me outside. My car, five minutes."

Before she can even decline Karen's gone, trotting back into the parking lot with one last look over her shoulder.

Joyce settles Jonathan into Karen's backseat and hands him a small toy, runs a hand down his back as he occupies himself. Crawling back into the front, she allows herself to slump into the material.

"Okay, what."

"You should tell him."

She takes a deep breath, lets her eyes fall closed. "We've had this conversation. You know I'm not telling him."

Karen groans. "Joyce. He's back. He made it through the war and he's back in Hawkins, not in some big city like you said he would be. And if I remember correctly, those are two of the reasons you gave me for keeping him in the dark."

Okay, so she can't dispute Karen's accusations. They're true. But it doesn't matter; he's only just returned, which means he's likely just stopping through on his way to more exciting things. She won't disrupt that, not now, three years after the fact.

She doesn’t tell Karen, but he wrote her. Twice.

She never replied, never knew what to say. She didn't know how to keep a correspondence with him without telling him the truth. Lying is much easier from afar, contained in the small bubble of Hawkins while he’s thousands of miles away, but something about writing letters and purposely omitting the detail made it worse. Made it more real.

The inability to write mere pleasantries in a letter had overridden the guilt she felt ignoring them, the guilt she still feels, and so she never sent one back.

"It doesn't matter," Joyce counters. Holding up a hand, she halts her friend's rebuttal. "Lonnie is Jonathan's dad. I'm not going to start another fight with him or confuse my son, and I really don't need to give these piranhas in town any more reason to talk about me."

"I'm just trying to look out for you."

"I know," she promises. "And I appreciate it, but this is... this is what I've chosen, okay? This is how it's going to be."

Karen, accepting her defeat, gives a small sigh. "Okay," she nods. "Okay."

"Thank you." Joyce revels in one final moment of relaxation against the plush interior before she pushes herself from the seat. "I have to go. Jonathan needs to go down for a nap."

Grabbing her son from where he's murmuring to himself, toy in hand, she shuts the door. She glances back into the window and gives Karen a small wave before departing.

The topic's not brought up again.

Three months is how long it takes for her to finally run into him.

Joyce is stocking up on a few last minute Christmas decorations, replacing the ones Jonathan had dropped and shattered or otherwise deconstructed, when she exhales on a frustrated groan. She takes a step back, trying to reach a wreath strung up on a high shelf, and bumps into someone behind her.

"Oh sorry, I—"

"Joyce?"

Her entire body freezes. She doesn't have to spin around to know who she's accidentally collided with; she knows that voice. Her insides turn into Olympic gymnasts, stomach doing somersaults as she forces herself to turn around. As suspected, she finds herself face to face with Jim Hopper for the first time in over three years.

She'd laugh at how comically wide his eyes are if she wasn't certain hers look identical.

"Hop, hi."

Guilt floods her system the second his surprise gives way to genuine joy. He's happy to see her. Even after she ignored all of his communication, after she pointedly didn't seek him out after hearing of his return.

"Hi. How uh... how are you?"

"I'm good." She's wracked with anxiety, barely making ends meet, and more or less single parenting the child he doesn't know he has, but... "Yeah, I'm good."

Hopper rakes a hand through his hair. "Good, that's good."

"How about you, I mean—you're the big war hero around here after all."

He shrugs, gives a noncommittal grunt. "I wouldn't go that far," he says, and something shifts.

She can see the toll Vietnam has taken on him; it shows in the bags under his eyes, the lines of his face, the pallor of his skin. Hell, she has all the same traits but doesn't have the excuse of war to back them up.

Balancing her basket against her hip, she looks up at him. "Still didn't answer my question."

"I'm about as okay as I can be, Joyce."

Nodding, she accepts this. It's about as much as she expects to get out of him; he's never been one to open up, even as a teenager. Even less when the matter at hand dealt with emotions, and so she gets it.

"I'm glad you made it back, Hop," she murmurs, voice quiet. As shaky as being in his presence right now makes her, she remembers those talks they'd have in his dad's car, how he wondered if he'd be coming home.

He gives her an almost uncomfortable smile. "Me too, most days," he jests, and she rolls her eyes. "Not for long, though."

"No?"

"I'm actually heading to New York at the start of the new year," Hop says, nodding along with his words. "Got a cop position waiting for me."

Her brows raise, mouth open. "Oh, Hop," she breathes, a smile curling at the edges of her lips. "That's—that's great, I'm happy for you. Always said you'd get out of Hawkins."

"Get a desk plaque and everything," he laughs, shaking his head.

She was right, and she almost wishes Karen were here to hear it for herself. Hop's only here for another month at most, already moving onto bigger and better things out in New York City, far away from their small fishbowl town.

All throughout high school, in the time she's known him, he'd tell her of plans to get out and move to a city. He never specified where, just somewhere that isn't this place, he'd say. Manhattan is about as far removed from this place as you can get, she'd wager. And she is happy for him; knowing he's doing good things allows her to justify her decision a little more.

"If only our teachers could see you now."

Hop scoffs. "Mr. Cooper's probably rolling in his grave right now knowing I'm actually making something of myself."

"Mr. Cooper's not dead, Hop."

"Old enough, though." He waves a dismissive hand and she snorts. "What about you, Joyce? Any big plans to move out of this hellhole?"

"No big plans yet," she manages, keeping her voice even. She’s evidently not that great at schooling her features, not if the borderline concerned look Hopper gives her is indication. "One day, though. Can't stay here forever."

Joyce considers telling him about being a mother; she wonders if he knows and he's just not bringing it up. She could leave it out, but figures it'll be less suspicious if she just mentions it now, if she's the one he hears it from. 

They were—are, she has to remind herself—good friends, and good friends share this kind of information with each other.

"I actually... I have a son."

His eyes widen just a fraction. Huh, so he really didn’t know. 

"You—wow, Joyce," he says, eyes trailing down her petite frame, landing on her stomach.

"I'm not pregnant now," she laughs, drawing her fingers upwards in an attempt to readjust his gaze.

"Sorry." He clears his throat. "That's good. I’m sure you’re a great mom."

A little taken aback by his statement, she hikes her basket higher on her arm. "Oh, thank you."

To his credit, and maybe for both of their benefit, he doesn't bring up Lonnie. The distaste is clear in the etchings of his face, the way she knows he's thinking about who the father is, knows it's Lonnie because he knows they're still together. She almost wants to blurt it out, wants to tell him to wipe that sour look off of his face because he's the father, but then she remembers why she's doing it.

It's for him, and it's what’s best for everyone, really.

"I'll let you get back to your shopping," Hopper says finally. He moves away before turning back, leaning past her to reach far above her head. She's confused until he takes another step from her and hands over the wreath she was trying to grab before. "Here, Horowitz."

She's not a Horowitz anymore, but she doesn't correct him.

"Thanks.” She gives him a tight-lipped smile. "I'll uh—I'll see you around, Hop."

"Take care of yourself, Joyce."

She doesn't see him again before he moves out to Manhattan.

[alishbakhanus]

Wedding photo session: ideas, mistakes, tips!

A wedding photo shoot is captured emotions and memories for a lifetime, which is why it is so important that these are beautiful, vivid and atmospheric photos. But how to pose in front of the camera, what mistakes are there, how to deal with anxiety? Our professionals tell about all this

Photos from the wedding celebration represent the best memory of this magical day, because they reflect the most interesting, funny and, of course, the most romantic moments. They help the couple to relive the excitement, joy and excitement of this day again. It is because of such an important role of photography that we always urge you to choose your photographer carefully, slowly and with full responsibility, because this person will be responsible for your memories. However, there is one more important moment in shooting – the excitement and fear of the camera, which are familiar to almost all of us. In this article, we’ll show you how to deal with your anxiety and what you need to do to ensure that your photoshoot results exceed your expectations!

Fear of posing

Wedding photographers notes that: “One of the biggest fears before a wedding photo session of a couple is the fear of posing, some couples are afraid that they will not be able to stand up correctly, turn the right angle, and often just turn to stone in front of the camera. This is quite natural, because you don’t have to get a lot of attention every day, and even pose for wedding photos. It happens that a couple decides to invite a reportage photographer to the wedding, because then they don’t have to pose. This is a misconception. To get a cool, lively, emotional report, you need to live in the frame, you need to feel very comfortable in front of the camera… Only a photographer who knows how to beautifully pose models, choose a pose suitable for them, distract from constraints, chat, relax, will suit a shy couple. “

Wedding photographers gives some practical advice on how to get up better and what you need to do to get rid of the fear of posing: “Many people have heard about the fact that the camera sees everything a little differently than our eyes. So I’ll start with the most fundamental things: your position relative to the camera. In most cases, the camera will not forgive you if you stand frontally, that is, with all parts of the body turned strictly in the direction of the photographer, at attention, in other words. Let’s remember that our task is not to take a photo for a passport or the Finnish Schengen – our task is to find an artistic image, and the frontal position will not help us in this at all, although there are exceptions here too. The most advantageous option is to be located in relation to the camera in three quarters. That is, turn a little in half a turn. Using half-turns, you can create an image of ease, emphasize the curves of the figure. After all, we must not forget that the ultimate goal is to bring maximum femininity into the image with the help of correct posing. “Wedding photo shoot ideas: tell your love story!

Excitement and fear of the camera

In order to cope with the fear of the camera,  the Orange Wedding Company offers a preliminary shooting , a  love-story or just a pre-wedding walk that will help you learn how the photographer works, and he, in turn , will better understand you and your desires. During this shooting, you will also be able to better understand yourself and what moments give you discomfort – if you are embarrassed by crowded places, respectively, on your wedding day, it is better to choose a more secluded place for your photo session.

Creative process

Wedding photographers believes: “In order to get real, sincere happy pictures, the most important thing is to be yourself and enjoy the moment. The biggest mistake is to keep a lot of photos from different photographers and try to copy them. This takes a lot of time and effort, and the result will still be different. Since each master has his own look, his own technique and his own style. Therefore, the best advice is to trust the professional of your choice and enjoy your shooting day as much as possible! “

if you want to hug and kiss your beloved, do not postpone and do not wait for the go-ahead from the photographer, the most sincere photography is spontaneous!” By AK organize a route for the wedding photo shoot: expert opinion!

During the creative process, you need to make sure that everything around you is perfect: a bridal bouquet, a photo zone, in the event that you plan to shoot in a studio, you need to think through every detail! The Love decor studio has been creating a unique atmosphere for five years, and the studio’s designers will professionally decorate any space. Studio style is a combination of original approach and elegance. The studio team works with a variety of projects from classic style to loft, embodying the ideas of the newlyweds in the best possible way.

Shooting locations

Most popular ideas for a bride’s photo shoot: One of the most popular shootings is the bride’s morning. According to Natalya Nova, a representative of Nova Wedding , the most ideal place for gathering and morning shooting of the bride is the hotel, for which there are several reasons:  “ Firstly, the calmness of the bride, and, secondly, the service – breakfast in the room, dress preparation, help in an emergency, the maids and the concierge are always ready to help . “

Also, shooting in a café is no less popular: the bride sits half-turned on a chair, holds a cup of tea in her hands and looks dreamily out the window, or the reflection of the bride in a beautiful full-length mirror.

Interesting ideas for the groom’s photo shoot: you can take the hobbies and hobbies of a young man as a basis. For example, if your fiancé cannot imagine life without music, then you can organize a thematic photo session with a musical theme. In the event that the groom is fond of sports, then a photo session can be organized at a sports stadium, why not?

Shooting in nature: “In the photo session, I love live shots, real ones. For example, if shooting in a park in nature, or somewhere in the city, I suggest that the couple move more, run, walk, spin, laugh, and behave like a normal day… At these moments, a person gets the most natural emotions on his face! And the cadres are filled with life. Of course, there is a place for staged shots, where the photographer must see the light and tell the couple how and where to stand, this applies to classic photographs, for example, in palaces, in interior photography. Often, brides are very fixated on their image, they are afraid for the dress or hairstyle, and this leads to pretense and unnaturalness in the frame, and prevents the groom from relaxing. It is necessary to constantly remind the bride that this is her day and she is the most beautiful, and the dress can always be dry-cleaned. Cheer everyone up and keep toned! The main thing is that the young people have a great mood and then a perfect result is guaranteed, “notes wedding photographer

In the event that you are thinking about shooting outdoors, then the Lake House is what you were looking for. After all, the restaurant offers its guests a picturesque landscape on the shore of the lake and a large summer veranda, where you will get wonderful photos. The site disposes, both for photography on warm summer evenings and early autumn.

Common mistakes

Any shooting has its own nuances, but we decided to tell you about the three most common mistakes during a photo shoot, try not to do this, and always remember the main thing:  “Remember your hands. The position of the hands plays an insanely important role in creating the image in the photo. Therefore, you should never curl your fingers into your palm when posing. So visually in the photo, fists are obtained – and we see hands that do not have fingers – a terrible horror! Do not do that! Don’t throw your head back. Sometimes models throw their heads back, wanting to portray languid languor. And they forget that the camera visually enlarges the cheeks and makes the eyes smaller. Add to this the fact that the camera adds an average of three kilograms to the model … In general, the conclusion is clear. Don’t squint your eyes… Not everyone can squint their eyes. Or rather, to almost anyone. Because visually the eyes are made smaller – and this does not paint anyone. So it’s not sexy or expressive at all, 

Tips & Tricks

Wedding photographers focuses on the fact that: “Almost every couple at the meeting before the wedding fearfully asks me the question:“ How to pose for the camera? ”. Of course, there are media people who are constantly in the lens of photographers, have experience of individual or family shooting, love story behind them. These couples feel more relaxed and confident during the wedding day. But, in most cases, newlyweds are inexperienced in front of the lens, and therefore are worried, and wonder how to stand up, how to smile and what to do in general. I always try to make the shooting process as light as possible. And already at the meeting I discuss with the couple how to behave and feel in front of the camera. I advise you to start your wedding day by filming your hotel fees… While the young people gather with trepidation and are busy with preparations, they get used to the camera and the photographer, they become liberated. We get to know each other and chat, and the next shooting day is already easier for the couple. ” But it is worth taking care not only of photography, but also of video filming , how can we do without it? Especially that the video format is becoming more and more popular recently. Media ax videographers  team has extensive experience in the wedding field. During the period from 2009 to the present day, the team has filmed over 1000 weddings. Experience in television and the latest video technology ensure the quality and professionalism of shooting. Media ax are professionals in their field who do not save on equipment, which allows you to shoot with the best professional equipment. Meetings with the newlyweds take place in the office, where there is an opportunity to discuss all the necessary details. Media ax’s pricing policy is based on favorable terms for both the customer and the contractor.

“I would advise you to pay attention to the percentage of live staged shots in a photographer’s portfolio to see how a person works with people. Beautiful shots where a couple is standing and looking at the camera can be done by many, if this suits you, it’s great, it will be easier to choose a photographer. If you want you to really live in the frame, and the photo session was a pleasure, then it is important to choose a person with whom you will be comfortable during the shooting. Make a pre-wedding love story , give yourself the opportunity to get used to the camera and the photographer to find your most spectacular angles. Look at paired photos that you like and are close in mood, pay attention to the poses, emotions that people do in the frame, remember some of them or show your photographer. Get ready to shoot beautiful photographs are a joint work of a couple and a photographer , including before shooting, at the stage of preparation. I advise my couples to enjoy their wedding day as much as possible, each other, to catch every moment. First of all, a wedding is a holiday for you and your loved ones, and a photo session is one of the small but very pleasant parts of it

Courtesy: best marriage halls in Lahore

[fridlyckans1234]

Training Your Dog Humanely: Part One

Welcome the Dog to the Human World

Have you ever watched The Dog Whisperer and thought, 'Wow, that guy is amazing! What a great way to train a dog!" I know I have many times. Cesar Milan teaches one basic principle about dogs - a dog is a pack animal by instinct. According to Cesar, your job is to become the pack leader, a dominant Alpha male/female with 'balance'. I guess by 'balance' he means you should treat the animal fairly, as they would expect to be treated in a wild pack. He gets very good and fast results with this method. I won't say it's a bad method, but it's not the way I choose to train my dogs and here's why.

There's one thing very wrong with the 'you're the pack leader' concept - it assumes the dog inhabits a dog's world, and for you to control it, you must behave as a dog would, the Alpha male or female of the pack. For the majority of dogs who are family pets this means the owner will treat the animal as though it had only instinctual processes going on in its head, no rational thought processes. To refute that thinking go and watch these two short videos of Lucy's behavior: Lucy Remembers Her Ball and Lucy and The Vacuum Cleaner (links appear at bottom). A dog does not inhabit a dog's world unless it's in a pack of dogs, roaming the wilderness like a wolf, bringing down prey and sharing its kill. This is not your dog. Your dog wouldn't chase its supper if it went hungry for a week! It would no more kill a raccoon and rip its flesh apart than would your six year old child! If you do have such an animal it's a sure bet that it's a dangerous dog, one that causes people in your neighborhood to cross the street to avoid.

If you become the pack leader, you've descended into the dog's world. Having done so, the dog will integrate well with other dogs, live in a pack happily, know its place in the human pack, and generally behave well, but it won't reach its full potential. When you adopted the dog into your family, you didn't decide to become a primeval growler, (which can work if you have the cahones to back up the threats), you decided to introduce an animal into the human world. As the two videos show, Lucy is an animal with human-like tendencies developed to the full potential of her smaller dog brain. She, like 99 percent of dogs today, belongs to a family, has been introduced to human concepts, and lives in a human world. It's better that you train your dog to live well in your world, rather than you in its, for the sake of the dog and yourself. You will have a much better companion, and so will the dog. The dog will learn to love humans above dogs.

Lucy is a thinking dog. Lucy will position herself at the ready depending on where a person places their foot behind a ball. She correctly anticipates which way the ball will be propelled by the positioning of the foot. She also cheats quite badly, arriving at the destination of a tossed toy before it gets there. Her brain has computed where you're likely to throw or kick an object. Lucy knows which way you will kick a ball simply by shifting your weight from one hip to the other, without even moving your feet! Better than a goalie in football (soccer).

Lucy knows several hundred concepts and commands, from Jump In The Boat, (fridlyckans) to Don't Go In The Street. She rarely plays now but when she was younger I would throw her ball into the street (a rural highway) and when she realized the ball had gone out of reach, rolling into forbidden territory, she would put on the brakes and stop before crossing an imaginary line. That line used to be a piece of yellow rope lying across the driveway about 20 feet from the street. After she learned the concept the rope was taken away, she was allowed to go out to pee on her own; I could trust her not to go past the imaginary line. That concept, Don't Go In The Street, is central to a dog being able to live happily in the human world. It's the difference between a deer or a raccoon crossing the road and your pet's thinking. It has learned that highways (a human construct not appearing in the dog pack vocabulary) are very bad.

Dogs have rational thought processes. Dogs have emotions. Dogs also have a conscience. Dogs learn to love. Dogs have language skills and can understand about five hundred human concepts with words. None of these things are in a puppy when you get them, they are learned behaviors.

A dog cannot do differential calculus, that's obvious, but it can reason out how to manipulate an owner into giving it food. Lucy was given a treat every time she asked me to go pee outside. If she gets slightly hungry, she has learned to ask to go outside, wait for thirty seconds and then come back in the house to get her reward. She will do this every hour or so until I've clued in and watch her. If she doesn't pee, the rewards stop, and so does the manipulative behavior since it's now a waste of time. But that shows you a dog can manipulate people. It isn't surprising really; a dog manipulates its owner many times during the day. If you rattle its leash, it will waken from a dead sleep and circle, pant and bark at the thought of going for a walk. That is doggy manipulation. The dog is saying how happy they would be if they went for a walk, and you're feeling guilty already if that wasn't your plan.

So higher reasoning aside, what can a dog do? It can learn. A dog can learn so many things you'd be surprised. If you simply teach it what it needs to know to function well in a human world, it would knock your socks off. Every day that Lucy and I wake up, we tell each other with hugs and kisses how happy we are that we have each other. Lucy loves humans, so much so that she almost ignores dogs. Can they make her food for her? Can they throw her ball? Her stick? Her little teddy bears?

There's a Border Collie in Germany that can remember any one of two hundred and fifty toys. Alan Alda of Mash fame visited this dog for Nova on PBS. The dog has all her toys in a big pile in one room. In another room she is shown a miniature sample of the desired toy (about one fifth scale). The dog leaves, enters the room with the massive pile of assorted frogs, teddy bears, squirrels, puppets, dolls, devils, Muppets, rummaging around and returning quickly, and surprisingly, with the correct toy. She does this flawlessly, even when it's a new toy that she's never seen before.

But once you've taught that dog human concepts, it's no longer a canine - it's a Canine Sapiens, a hybrid between dog and Homo Sapiens (which is Latin for Thinking Man). It cannot happily go back to the pack. Without wishing to conduct such an experiment, I went to England for two weeks and Lucy went to the kennel. The kennel belongs to a reputable breeder and Lucy had her own 'penalty box' (cage) placed inside a three by six foot kennel. There were other dogs there so you'd think she'd be fine, but these were 'Pack Dogs', dogs that the breeder keeps solely for breeding. One barks, they all bark. One runs around the yard, they all run around the yard. Lucy was having none of it, and their primitive antics had her stressed out. When I returned to pick her up she went wild with joy! She ran around the truck about ten times barking, crying, tail wagging, face licking, and all manner of expressions of love. I began to speak with the breeder about England but Lucy jumped into the truck through an open door and barked her head off so loud that she could not be ignored. "I guess I'm being summoned," I told the breeder. Man, was she happy to get out of there!

This is why several universities in the U.S. have stopped teaching gorillas and other primates American Sign Language in doctoral theses. Once the studies are over the animals are returned to cages in the zoo. No more riding around in cars for you! No more ice cream cones for you! The animals, now capable of reasoning to a degree, are back in cages languishing for the good old days with their human friends, unable to relate to the other primates around them. The universities have decided that it's unethical behavior to abandon them once they've formed attachments to their trainers. You need a PHD in behavioral psychology to figure that out?

It can be frustrating to try teaching a dog an advanced concept. If you find yourself yelling or getting frustrated with the dog simply back off. Stop. The problem is too complex for her present state of understanding and she doesn't know what you want. The solution is to break the problem into smaller steps. You didn't learn algebra before you learned to count, add, subtract, divide and multiply. You didn't learn to multiply until you learned to add the same number three times to itself. Dogs have similar minds to humans, except that they're somewhat limited in potential. But if you give the dog credit for being able to think with the ability of a three year old child, you'll be surprised at what they will learn.

Your dog has a conscience. How do I know this? Your dog dreams, which is a sure indication of a bifurcated mind with a conscious and a subconscious. The dog dreams after having a good day, or a bad day. When they've had a good day, they fall asleep and within five minutes enter the REM phase of their sleep pattern. REM stands for Rapid Eye Movement, and it happens almost right away in dogs. In humans it takes about an hour and thirty minutes. During REM sleep the dog can be whining, barking, chasing, wagging its tail, eating, chewing, swimming. You'll recognize a dog who is dreaming when you see it, trust me, but what that dream indicates is that it has a subconscious mind that's free to relive the experiences of the day. If it has a subconscious mind then it must have a conscious mind, [http://www.fridlyckans.com] because you can't have one without the other, unless it's in a coma.

[robertbassweb]

How to Manifest a New Job Using the Law of Attraction

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How to Manifest a New Job

How to manifest a new job is a question that many people ask each and every day.

Looking for a new job shows there is little or no satisfaction with the actual circumstances and sometimes we feel we need to start “a new life on a new town”.

But we have to be aware if the need of a new job is due to a lack of personal satisfaction, a poor vision of the future or simply the need to hide away.

Why is it important? Because the Law of Attraction asks you to thank what you have as a first step. Yes, you have to be thankful for your actual job.

If you do not have any, things become easier.

    Manifest Job Meditation

Even you have a job or not, the first step on how to manifest a new job is practicing gratitude.

Gratitude for your actual job (if you have one), gratitude for your personal skills, gratitude for your abilities and for what you can give through a job.

Yes, we need to set an intention and we have to focus on what we can give to other people through our job.  How can we help an organization, our coworkers and the customers?

That way we start vibrating at the right frequency.  Remember, what you give is what you receive.

So doing this, you start manifesting a new job with the right foot.

    Manifestation Is All About Your Energy

The meaning of materializing is to acquire the energy of what it is that you desire to really feel, and afterwards being, living and counting on that experience so that you can allow that experience to become your reality.

The crucial to manifesting is to really feel the energy of what you intend to experience.

The Universe is always bringing you experiences that match your power– whether you are mindful of it or not.

When you’re sending out low-vibe power right into deep space, you’ll draw in negative outcomes.

But when you send out high-vibe energy right into the Cosmos, you’ll draw in the outcomes you prefer.

Without exception, the World will certainly supply you the individuals, experiences, as well as results that match your vibrational regularity.

So it is essential to be familiar with your power as well as assumed in all times so you can remain aligned with the Cosmos.

    How to Manifest a Job Quickly

With all that being said, there is a 5 step technique to manifest a new job I priorize.

It is really powerful if you apply it correctly.  I said before that the first thing needed is the right sense of gratitude, the right intention and the right vibration.

In this way you will begin to put into practice the law of attraction properly aligned.

Your mental images will be in perfect harmony with your feelings, sensations, intentions and desires, which makes you vibrate at the appropriate frequency for your manifestation.

How to manifest a new job is a question of control of your senses, your thoughts and your emotions, like any other type of manifestation.

Now, you must remember that trying to manifest something starting from the feeling of lack is the worst thing you can do.That is why it is so important to establish a clear intention of what you can contribute to your manifestation and generate that feeling of gratitude and joy for what you are about to do.

It is not about fooling the Universe or worse, fooling ourselves.

You must be sincere and honest with yourself. It is understood that you want a new job to improve your income, your personal satisfaction and your lifestyle.

But you know well that this will be given in addition. Your goal is happiness so, from now on, create that happiness in advance.

    How To Manifest A New Job Using These 5 Simple Steps

Now you are ready to start your manifestation labour.

Everything is in the right place.  You feel the joy, you imagine all the good things you can offer to your new job and you are ready to start.

So here are the 5 steps to use on how to manifest a new job.

  Decide what you desire

The initial step to manifest your dream job is deciding what you want.

It’s difficult to reach your goal if you do not have one. Start with your ” why. ” Why do you intend to make a career change?

What is it concerning your existing job that you don’t like? Shift your viewpoint as well as open yourself approximately new possibilities.

Brainstorm options so you can locate the intersection of what you appreciate as well as are excellent at.

This might be an excellent time to discover an advisor or coach to support you and hold you answerable.

Think of what you would certainly like your life to be like five or 10 years into the future.

Test out professions by offering, signing up with a board, or beginning a side hustle.

When you have actually determined your goal, compose it down, and share it with the individuals close to you.

There is a solid correlation between pronouncing our goals and also completing them.

  Think extra deliberately

Manifesting your dream work making use of the Law of Attraction needs deliberate thought.

As opposed to just responding to your current situation, become more purposeful regarding what you think and also really feel.

Once you’ve determined your goal, technique envisioning how you’ll really feel when you’ve reached it.

For instance, if your dream job is to end up being an expert writer, imagine just how it will feel to finish that initial manuscript, authorize your very first publication offer or make the New york city Times bestseller listing.

These positive ideas will certainly aid you to create your future instead than stay embeded the here and now.

  Emphasis on the future

To discover your dream task, you ‘ll need to concentrate on what you desire instead than what you don’t want.

When you dread your work life, it’s simple to be taken in with ideas like, “I actually dislike my job, ” “Why am I wasting my time at this firm? ” or “I actually wish to leave this harmful work setting.”

By concentrating on what you do not desire, you are actually enhancing your present circumstance.

Instead, focus on your ultimate goal. Change those negative photos with positive ones like, “I like my work, ” “I ‘m enjoying every minute at this company, ” or “I like working in such a supportive work setting.”

If you can move your thinking, you will be much more likely to manifest the future you prefer.

  Construct a scene

A short mini-scene that might only take place if you’ve obtained your brand-new task.

You might jump out ahead into the future, and claim that you have actually been called by the employer to train the brand-new recruits since your work is remarkable.

As well as he wants more employees like you.

Or you could see on your own in your chair, enjoying yourself while doing what you enjoy. Maintain the scene brief so you don’t obtain shed in thought.

Either rest or relax, close your eyes, take a breath deep, luxurious breaths, enabling your body to relax.

Do it over and also over, on a loop, up until it begins to really feel actual.

Really feel the emotions, consist of all the senses you can, sight, odor, sound, taste, feel. Whatever relates to your scene.

Replay the scene till it starts to really feel so actual. You’ll know you’ve done this properly, when you appear of it as well as are shocked to find yourself still where you were physically.

  Release

When you appear of it, allow go. You have actually done your component.

Let it go and enable the seed you have grown to take origin as well as expand in its very own method, as well as its very own time.

This is vital. It doesn’t matter exactly how much time passes. Time as well as room are nothing to the imagination.

So there ya go. Currently you understand exactly how to materialize a brand-new job.

    Law of attraction job success stories

Back then when I dabbled in freelance screenwriting, I keep in mind someday, after an extended period of writing nothing,

I was unexpectedly gotten rid of with the desire to create. I had no concept what I was misting likely to blog about.

Only that it would certainly be something dark, abrasive, single place, marginal cast.

I stood there. Sure I really felt the suggestion take a hold of me. Indeed I really felt the enjoyment of having actually written something like that.

Moments later, I got a phone call from a customer, who had actually gotten my number off a person else who really did not also like my job.

Her words to me were “I need something dark, sandy, one area, just 3 personalities.”

Nearly exactly what I had claimed! Plus, the customer liked the ended up work.

It can be that very easy. As very easy as enjoying your wish when it turns up, knowing it’s done. I have had numerous experiences where I produced a brand-new gig on the area, or switched over tasks.

So you can trust me on this. I understand what I’m speaking about. Often it’s split second. Various other times it takes “time.” Yet one thing is specific whenever, this jobs.

Not real. I most certainly did. Keep in mind; I let the concept take a hold of my mind.

In my mind’s eye, I was already writing. I was delighting in the feeling of being associated with such a project.

I did all that with MY CREATIVITY.

Now you know how to manifest a new job using the Law of Attraction.  Go get it now!

    How to Manifest a New Job FAQ

How to manifest a new job with the Law of Attraction?

Just how To Use The Law Of Attraction In Your Job Browse Believe favorably.

Deep down favorably not simply externally. …

Rely on you. Do not allow others bring you down. …

Align what you think and also what you do to what you want. …

Know you are going to get a work. …

List what your perfect job is. …

Visualize doing that task. …

Do not allow yourself to end up being dissuaded.

Can you actually show up anything you desire?

” The simplest means to show up anything is to be clear about what you desire. Don’t offer the universe combined signals … as well as act. Pursuing your goals is essential.”

You ought to additionally stay receptive. Ask the universe wherefore you desire and also watch out for signs of accomplishment or success.

Just how do I ask the universe for a work?

7 Actions You Definitely MUST Take Whenever You Ask The Universe For Something

Action 1– Make Sure, Be Specific. …

Step 2– Ask And Let It Go. …

Action 3– Be Patient. …

Step 4– Expect Indicators. …

Action 5– Trust That Deep Space Knows Ideal. …

Step 6– Send Reminders Now And Then. …

Action 7– Be Thankful.

    Resources:

If you are serious about the Law of Attraction  and you want to manifest a better life of yours, download our free manifestation guide.

After reading the guide, I will send you information and exercises I never share on public.

Download Visualization for Manifestation Free Guide

  Comment & Share

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If you liked it, I would really appreciate it if you can share it using one of the social sharing icons.

Also, leave me a comment and let me know what you thought – I love talking to the readers, so hopefully will talk to you in the comments below.

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