#which i've built my entire life around
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actually gonna take a mini break..... which could mean i won't go on tumblr at all or it just means i'll only be making simple posts and not reblogging, and it could be for the rest of the day or it could be for a number of days (this is significant i promise usually i would be yapping like CRAZY rn)
i don't like disliking my show. i don't need to hear about everything they did wrong when i want to be celebrating everything they've done right for 7 seasons. i can't expect everyone to decide that positivity is the only way and i can't expect people to not want to share their opinions when i can't seem to stop talking about my opinion on that. i don't want to do what i did when season 4 came out and i tried to forget tdp existed for months because i couldn't stand being a fan of something others didn't like. tdp is everything to me. i'm not letting this part of my life go because i care too much about what everyone else thinks. and i know that's nobody's fault but my own, but still. i'm hoping it dies down, but even if it doesn't, i just need to step back and remind myself why i love this show, and that that is all that matters.
i know it is NOT that deep but the finals week stress + mourning-in-advance + insane adrenaline rush and joy while watching followed by + immediate feeling of dread and incredible sadness and confusion and anger after i've already had a rough couple and months and tdp was the sole thing keeping me going, it has all just been a lot, as i'm sure you can imagine. it sounds so excessive and sensitive and it probably is those things, but it's how i feel. mainly i just really needed to get this off my chest lol
#sometimes i forget i'm autistic and then i'll be sent into a depressive episode because i can't stop crying about criticism over a cartoon#which i've built my entire life around#i'm a kid guys. an autistic child. hey maybe THAT'S why this season meant so much to me#continuethesaga#giveusthesaga#vent#personal#also like i've tried to explain i'm not blaming anyone else or asking anything of anyone for my issues but at the very least#i'd like it if we could keep the notes on my posts positive#and maybe specify when it's not entire clear if you're being positive bc my mental state cannot take the chance#yk it's whatever i don't want to be any more of a baby then i'm already being but i would appreciate that#and thanks to everyone who has made me feel better <3 always trust in the moots
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I discovered the ability to play on "hardcore" mode in Minecraft, which is where the difficulty is set to hard and if you die, that's it. Which is weirdly enticing, so I gave it a shot.
The first time I tried it, I pretty immediately died. Like, I did not last an entire hour.
But, I recently had a world where I survived over 100 days, and almost all of those day were spent in a Dark Oak Forest biome, which is one of the more dangerous ones. I built a 3-story house with a greenhouse, a wine cellar, a mine shaft, agriculture and livestock farming and more. I was slowly exploring the verdant cave below my home. I stepped backward into lava and couldn't get out again, while I was on the phone with a friend. Don't chat and play, I suppose lol
I restarted on a random seed, and there were several nice biomes within view (jungle, flower, desert, badlands, birch forest). I could see a village in the distance, so I headed that way first and found a massive abandoned mine just outside of town. I didn't go too far in, but there were some chests of goodies near some of the entrances. I tamed a few wolves and a cat, and I just took off into the distance. I spent the first 20+ days just kind of wandering the wilderness with my dogs, camping out at night. I picked a random nice spot in a broad Birch Forest to toss down my stuff and build a home, mostly because my hands were full.
I'm close to 50 "days" in, and I've spent most of it out gallivanting. I went out to find a village to tame a second cat, so I could have more at-will, and to find a Striped Wolf out in those badlands (successful). I spent days looking for a Spotted Dog in the savannas that looked like plateaus (unsuccessful, and I lost my cat and had to go BACK and get ANOTHER one). I finally returned home and this is the view from my front windows, just before I logged for the evening.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/ae8a4ad790e79f78a0b4dad69f947058/4b55abce2693daee-f2/s540x810/d13c0ea1abff385d963d07874ad136bf295e23c7.jpg)
Something about only having one life makes the game a little more charming than usual. I mean, it's always charming, but I've been taking more time to look around at the worlds I won't be returning to when I finally bite it. Making sure I take a minute to appreciate the views, pat the doggos, look in the nooks and crannies for things I might like, since I won't get to come back. I mean, I can come back but I can't Come Back, y'know?
The same is true of real life, obviously. There are an increasing number of things that want us dead, but there are still sunsets out the window, and doggos to be pat, and little treasures to be found if we're looking for them. I think that's worth sticking around as long as I can.
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For my entire life people have told me I am "naturally athletic". I am not "naturally athletic": I am an asthmatic with historically really poor cardio health and joints that partially dislocate themselves if I put pressure on them slightly weird. What I *am* is naturally tall and slender, even more so when I did absolutely no physical activity and ate very little because my neurodivergent body didn't give me hunger signals, which most people mistake for "naturally athletic".
That's not to say I don't have the potential for athleticism. My mother, who has never been under 250 pounds my entire life, is built of sheer farm girl muscle, has stellar blood pressure and cardio health despite her weight, and could (and has!) bodily haul me and my grown brother around like we weigh nothing. When I was a kid the woman was biking triathlon distances before we were even awake for school. The woman is an ATHLETE, and her whole life she has been obese (and heard from everyone and their dogs that she needs to lose weight).
I'm not sure where I'm going with this long piece of anecdotal evidence, except to say: my whole life I heard I was naturally athletic, until I actually became athletic. Because the thing is, I put on muscle like my mom. It fills out my shoulders and arms and makes me look big, thick, and barrel chested. "Genetically beefy", as my brother puts it. And suddenly I wasn't getting comments about my athleticism anymore. I'm quite literally the healthiest I've ever been. I can run for miles, lift my weight, my balance and heart health are excellent. I'm just bigger now. And not one stranger has a comment about my physique since I got fit. Because I don't look like what they think "naturally athletic" is.
I guess what I'm saying is, maybe don't let your perception of what "athleticism" or "health" LOOKS like color your perception of like. People's actual health.
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A soft spot.
Cregan Stark x Targaryen!reader
Summary: During the celebration of the birth of Rhaenyra's son, the reader meets the Starks.
A/n: I have to stop writing shit that can make a great series if I ALWAYS FORGET TO WRITE THE SERIES WTF but anyway. I'm gonna tryyyy to write at least one more part to this
Masterlist
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The second the great Lord Rickon Stark saw her, he knew she could've been a Stark in another life. He just knew it.
But she wasn't. She was the Targaryen Princess.
…
With the birth of Princess Rhaenyra's fifth son, Viserys II, the King threw a celebration. A proper tourney, feasting, and the most important: the lord's vowing their alliance to the family once again.
One by one, each Lord was expected to step in front of the intimidating Iron Throne to vow to both Viserys and Rhaenyra to protect the newest addition to the Targaryen line.
Y/n Targaryen stood idly by with her family between her brothers, Aegon and Aemond.
She and Aegon had always been close, their teasing and playful personalities often getting them in trouble. Aegon had always wondered what would have happened if Alicent had betrothed him to her instead of Helaena.
He leaned down and whispered to her, "Which lord do think is shitting his pants right now?"
Her brows furrowed as she looked at him, but he only smirked and motioned for her to look.
She looked over the crowd, her eyes pausing on a particular man that was sweating profusely. An unexpected chuckle came from her throat. She slapped a hand over her mouth to hide it.
Aemond let out an annoyed scoff and glared at her. "Control yourself, sister."
She cleared her throat and nodded. But still she bit her lip to keep the smile from growing.
The next Lord moved forward and began to speak to the King and Rhaenrya.
Aegon smirked and leaned down again, "I mean really, do you think he's ever seen a real person before?"
A loud giggle left her mouth, echoing through the throne room.
Pure silence followed, every head turning in her direction.
Her cheeks turned a bright pink when her father gave a stern look. "Apologies, father. It will not happen again."
King Viserys shook his head in mock annoyance and turned his attention back to the Lord in front of him.
When everyone's attention returned to the throne, she sent her elbow into Aegon's stomach and he let out a grunt.
Lord Stark stood not far from the royals, a smirk on his face the entire time.
…
That night, Lord Stark managed to speak to the girl. His northern accent was thick as he spoke, "Your brother seems a right cruel one to get you in trouble, eh?"
The princess turned to him, "I'm sorry?"
"No, pardon me," He took her hand and kissed it as expected. "'m Lord Rickon Stark of the North."
Her eyes lit up. "Lord Stark, yes. Thank you for journeying so far."
He chuckled and shook his head, "'Tis nothing if it is for the King. I've come for every celebration of every royal birth. Even yours, Princess."
She smiled. "That was some time ago, my lord."
"Indeed."
A voice interrupted them. "Father."
"Ah, my boy," Rickon patted his back firmly. "Princess, this is my only boy, Cregan."
Her eyes met Cregan's, getting lost quickly.
He was a firm and gruff man, that much was obvious. Standing taller than his father, Cregan was built sturdier than the Wall itself, broad shoulders and a strong back hidden under his surcoat. The wolf sigil laid proudly on his chest, but her eyes didn't even journey that far.
"I… M… My Lord…"
Cregan looked between her and his father, "I apologize, princess, if I am interrupting in any way."
She shook the thoughts from her head, "N… No. No. You are not, I promise."
Rickon Stark's smirk grew into a grin.
Cregan nodded, "That is a relief indeed." He looked around before giving his full attention to her finally. "My father has journeyed here many times, but I'm afraid this is my first since I was a mere boy of 4."
"Four? And for what reason was that?" She asked curiously.
"The celebration of Prince Jacaerys' birth." He smiles, "That was many years ago."
"Yes," the words slipped from her tongue lightly as she continued to study the man.
Silence lulled over them, but they did not mind.
Cregan noticed her wandering eyes, and his head tilted as his soft grin grew.
Finally, she broke her train of thought again and turned, "Pardon me, Lord Rickon-"
Rickon had disappeared into the crowd without excusing himself, and the two hadn't even noticed until just then.
Cregan let out an amused chuckle when her cheeks warmed with embarrassment. "My father has been most excited since we arrived here."
"For what exactly?"
"It's," he chuckled again. "It's an embarrassing tell, I'm afraid."
She shook her head, "Do tell me."
He crossed his arms in thought as his typical northern demeanor returned, "I shouldn't. It is not mine to tell, Princess, but my father's."
She hummed, disappointment flashing across her face. "Ah. I apologize. I should not pry at what is not my business to know."
He shook his head, "Consider us even." Then his head turned back to the festivities. "Do excuse me, Princess. It has been a pleasure to meet you."
"You as well."
She'll remember how delicately he had kissed the back of her hand.
…
"Sister, you've been quiet all evening. It is worrying," Aegon grinned when she later sat at the high table.
She leaned to him, "Perhaps because you made a fool of me earlier."
"You know it was all a jest of good fun," he sipped his wine, "Father wasn't even mad at it."
"We were supposed to be respectful to Rhaenyra and her child!" She rubbed at her forehead. "Perhaps you and I should not stand together during serious moments."
He scoffed, "Sister, if we did so, we'd never be seen together again." He took a bite of food and spoke, "This castle is only ever serious."
She finally grinned, "I fear you're right."
Her gaze looked out over the many tables, finally resting on the form of Cregan Stark. His back was to her, practically giving her nothing to note, but she continued to stare.
Until her eyes wandered just barely past him to see Lord Rickon Stark looking back at her with that same knowing grin and twinkle in his eye.
She froze before giving him a nod of her head in acknowledgment and then looked back down at her plate in front of her.
This was going to be a long week.
....................................
A/n: *rubbing my hands together like a little fly* the things I'm thinking yall
Taglist: @twinkletwinklenotastar, @kidd3ath,@yujyujj, @misswynters, @cosmosnkaz, @sithapprentice, @kaniromi, @lovemesomevesey, @its-jackie-bb, @8812-342, @thorins-queen-of-erebor, @kingdomzeldaquest @nyxbranwenn, @callsignwidow, @a1lexh-blog, @alyssa-dayne, @ethereal-athalia, @ashovertheriver
#fanfiction#cregan stark x reader#cregan stark x you#game of thrones x reader#house of the dragon fanfiction#game of thrones fanfiction#game of thrones imagine#cregan stark x y/n#game of thrones x y/n#house of the dragon#cregan stark imagine#cregan stark#cregan stark fanfic#hotd cregan#house of the dragon fanfic#cregan fanfiction#hotd fanfic#drew drools over cregan stark
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⋆⋅☆max v. with a trans masc partner☆⋅⋆
max verstappen knew what he liked. while he usually put the front as a heterosexual man, he had always been a little more fluid about his sexuality outside of the limelight. he had kissed many men in his life as with women, even those who were neither men nor women. kissing was fun, sex was fun. and he wasn't going to limit himself to one set of tools to get the job down. a cock down the throat could be as delightful as sinking into a sweet pussy.
so it was more of a surprise for you to receive max's advances than it was for him to give them.
you remembered when you grandmother told you that she was concerned about you transitioning because you may "never find love" and you told her that it didn't matter. cars were your love, you didn't need a person to fill that gap. so when you met the three time world champion as the new mechanic for the 2024 season, you honestly didn't think too much about wooing him romantically.
but, max was wooed by you. especially when he saw that your lockscreen of your phone was a picture of your two cats, and when he brought up his cats, you just lit up. max liked that you treated him like he was a person. and you simply said, "mate, i'm pretty certain they don't let robots drive these cars." then slapped him on the back, "but i will make you bleed red if you total my car." then flashed him a smile.
you remembered the first time max kissed you. the dutch grand prix had been a total success and within the quietness of the garage post-race with the trophy max had won near by. he took you by the waist and kissed you. he'd later admit that he wanted to do it right on the track.
"do you kiss all your mechanics like that, verstappen?"
"no, only the ones who allow me to win." you two had spent almost the entire season bitching about red bull. max wondered if or when he eventually jumped teams, if he could take you with him. as he held you in his arms. chest to chest.
you admitted close to his ear, a little insecure, "i hope you know. i've built myself... i was born a girl, but became something more. different." then tried to pull back, fearful of his response. you weren't trying to trick him, you'd rather have it on the table.
but he pulled you back in, his blue eyes on you, "you act like i don't know what transgender people are, mechanic." he said as he leaned you back a little, to get a fuller look at you, "you act like i've never been to bed with one."
"i don't want to be a one night stand." you said, your hands on the front of his polo shirt. his hat long hit the floor in the heat of the kiss. you swallowed, "i won't be a toy, verstappen. i have too much respect for myself."
he chuckled, "that's what i like to hear." he held you around the waist and you kissed once more. he could feel the rise in his blood pressure. while you could've easily done it in the garage, max gave you the address of where he was staying and the lie to tell security.
the mechanics team were in another hotel, but if you wore your red bull branded uniform and had your mechanic's pass then you'd get in easily. they'd never suspect that you'd be intimate with the star of the team. and you did just that. even flashing a smile at security before you headed up to the elevator. they didn't even ask questions, which made your life easier.
you found max's room and he happily brought you in. but once the door was closed behind you. his strong arms were around you. he smiled at you, happy to see you. you carefully touched his face, part of you believed this was a strange dream after too many rum and cokes. but as you felt his facial hair under your hand, this was all painfully real.
"do you want this?" he asked.
you nodded and responded with a question of your own, "do you?"
his smile grew a little more, he leaned in closer to you. you only now realized how blue his eyes were, "since the moment i saw you come to the garage. you were more impressed with the car than with me... i found it endearing." he chuckled.
you held his face with both hands and gazed at him, "yeah, because it's a piece of shit car for a champion. it's like giving the king aluminum instead of gold."
he laughed before he leaned in for a kiss. you held his face close to yourself and you felt something bloom in your gut. eventually you got your worn sneakers kicked off and the jacket of your uniform off. it left you in a white t-shirt and max started to strip as well. you eyed his form and he eyed yours.
you felt his heated gaze linger on your chest for a moment and without thinking you crossed your arms across where your top surgery scars were. it was habit at that point.
max was in just his jeans and socks. he reached for your arms. feeling your warm under his palm as he carefully moved your arms away. he wanted to admire you, all of you.
"must've felt very different after the surgery." he said as he held your wrists, his eyes gazed on the fading scars. he was in no way to judge about scarring. at least yours were for something worthwhile, to change yourself in such a fundamental way, "was it scary?"
you shook your head, "no... i wanted to do everything afterwards. my doctor basically put me on bed rest because i was trying to push myself too hard. what was a four week recovery turned in seven."
he placed his hands on your flat chest and could feel the slight raise of the scars under his palms, "you push yourself too hard."
you swallowed, feeling the heat in your cheeks, "if you want to be the best. you have to do more than your best." your gaze met his. it felt so painfully intimate. this wasn't just sex in a hotel room, this was intimacy. max wanted more than your body, he wanted to know all the nooks of your soul and what inhabited them.
he leaned in once more, "we have that in common." before he kissed you once more. his kiss was sweeter, an assurance that you and your body were nothing to be ashamed of. if anything he admired it, even though he couldn't relate to the feelings you carried. he could at least understand the guts it took to go through it.
to become more than you what was given to you. it endeared you to him as you broke the kiss and continued to get undressed. the more of your bodies exposed to one another, the hotter the room got. even with the air conditioning rattling in the room. you could feel the heat between you two.
max sighed, "i don't have condoms... i can pull out or we can do something else." he explained as he got into the bed with you. both naked. his broad hand grazed across your body.
you responded and placed his hand on your lower abdomen, right before your pussy, "hysterectomy. six months before i started. are you clean though?"
he replied, "yes. been a long time since i've been with someone anyway." he was telling the truth. since you started at the season, everything had become a blur with you and the championship being a central focus.
his pointer finger trailed across the scar for a moment before he took your face in his hands and kissed you once more. you could go on about the shape of your face, but in his hands it felt very small. you hadn't realized that max verstappen had paws instead of hands. the thought made you giggle a little into the kiss.
he pulled away and looked at you before he laid you out on your back. he asked with a small smile, "what are you laughing about?"
you looked up at him and said, "didn't realized that formula one drivers had such big hands. every seen them up close like this before." then yelped a little when max grabbed you by the hips and pushed himself up against you.
he curved his back over you and maintained eye contact, those blue eyes were swimming with lust, "well. it's good you haven't seen others this close up. i might get a little jealous."
you looked away for a moment with a stupid grin on your face, "okay, flirt. why don't we get to it before i melt into this bed." then a soft moan left your lips as he rubbed his cock up against your wet cunt.
he admired you for a moment, hoping the image of your naked body stayed with him for weeks to come. you looked masculine. he wasn't going to say "technically" it's not having sex with a man. you were a man just as much as he was if not more. you had to create your manhood and you made it to perfection.
"i want you." you said softly.
he leaned forward and kissed you gently on the lips before he eased his cock into you. he replied with an equal softness, "i want you too, mechanic." the nickname made your ears hot as he moved against you. he thrusts were gently but gained a steady momentum.
you held onto the covers under your back and let him move against you. once you got a hold of his rhythm, you were able to meet his movements as well. the kisses you two shared grew hot as max planted both hands on either side of you and moved.
you two were moving against one another, locked in a heated kiss. the bed shifted slightly under your movements. max was thankful that were was not a bed on the opposite side of the wall. and that this place had enough insulation to keep your noises muffled.
the last thing he wanted was your integrity to come into question. that you only got to where you were because of your seductive ways. the noises between you two were soft. there was no need to rush, the race was over and tomorrow you'd be on the flight to the next one.
he took your hands and held them by your head, which kept you two close but also allowed him to keep you pinned under him. when you broke the kiss, you rested your forehead against his. the noises were harder to keep under wraps the more you moved. the pleasure felt like fireworks in your brain.
you moaned a little bit before you said, "i was thinking something stupid."
max chuckled his sweaty forehead against yours, "tell me."
"i realized what your eyes remind me of." you admitted softly, "i couldn't quite pin it after we met." you were breathing heavily as you locked your fingers further with his.
"and what do they remind of you?" he asked, curiously. he had heard people refer to them like the ocean, the sky after a store, the definition of blue.
you replied, "home. the lake near where i lived. not scary like the ocean. familiar like the lakes i grew up near."
max had no words, he simply laid another kiss on you. his hands grasped your tightly as you two moved together more. the pace quickened and max knew that he wanted to be in your life for a long period of time. he wanted you to be his home.
you moaned against the kiss, feeling the heat leap in your belly as you felt closer to orgasm. you came first with your lips against his. your back arched but your hands were pinned to the bed. it felt good as pleasure rushed to your brain.
max broke the kiss and continued to move against you. he let go of your hands in favour of your hips where he bounced your further against his cock. it made crackles of pleasure appear in your brain. and he was no better, his heavy breathing and occasional moan fueled his need to finish. and when he did, he did so inside of you. max never thought too much about the surgery you had, but he was thankful for it tonight.
he stayed inside of you for a moment as he cooled down before he left a kiss on the corner of your mouth. full of such tenderness as he pulled out of you and ran his fingers through his short hair.
you laid out next to him and heavily panting, feeling so vulnerable. he stayed closer to you, eventually pulling you to him and resting his chin on top of your head. you got comfortable against him.
"if you have any questions, i can answer them... about the whole trans thing." you swallowed, even now you felt embarrassed bringing it up. you felt it was a mood killer.
he took you by the chin and made you face him. he smiled down at you. he asked one question, "are you happy? did you get the life you wanted?"
you nodded in response, "everything and more." and that was enough for max. anything else you felt the need to tell him would be told with time, after all, max expected to be in your life for many years to come. both as his mechanic and lover.
-
max would only come clean about the relationship two years later. the end of his contract with red bull and a final championship was enough for the driver to retire peacefully. and when he retired, you retired and you made a home in monaco.
the coming out post set the internet ablaze. especially given how long you two had been together. wasn't anything too special, just a small collection of photos that he had taken over your time together. like the time you wore his helmet in 2025 with a big thumbs up. and that time you thoroughly messed up a birthday cake for him, and with the camera in your face, he rubbed the icing off your cheek. the one that really captured eyes was the one that a friend took of you at a house party when max came to visit your home country, with his legs over your strong lap and his lips against your face. you were smiling like the sun. being the center of a media storm was only braved with max by your side. at one point turning your phone off and throwing it onto the couch. his kisses were still loving as always, his words soft, and his affirmations of your gender were often so sweet that you'd cover your face in embarrassment.
you were always comfortable with the idea of not meeting your 'other half', you had been given a second chance at life once you came out. and if no one could accept you then so be it. but as you laid out on the couch laid out against your boyfriend with sassy at your side and your cat between the crook of your knee, you felt loved. <3
a/n: i do write for masc readers as well, both cis and beyond. just not as often because many request femme readers. but if an idea is cooking in your head. hit me with it!
#bunny writes#trans reader#trans male reader#f1 x male reader#reader insert#formula one imagine#formula 1#formula one smut#formula one fanfiction#f1 smut#formula 1 fic#formula 1 rpf#formula one#formula 1 fanfic#f1 rpf#f1 x reader#f1#max verstappen x you#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen smut#max verstappen#mv33 drabble#mv33 x male reader#mv1 smut#mv1 x reader#mv1#mv33 x reader#mv33 smut
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hi, can I request the combination A2 and F7 for Spencer Reid smut prompts, please?? Thanks <333
'𝐛𝐞𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞.'
𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘳 𝘳𝘦𝘪𝘥 𝘹 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳
Prompt A2: dryhumping + F7: in a car - (prompts lists)
after a long day of working a case, one of the BAU cars broke down, which means that all six of you have to pile into a five person car. luckily, spencer offers his lap for you as a seat...
wc: 1.1k
content & tw: sensual fluff, public, dry humping.
a/n: this is much tamer than my usual writing but i rlly enjoyed it!
'oh, for fucks sake,' JJ says as she turns the key in the ignition. the car sputters and shakes with all its might but it doesn't start. 'i'm never renting from this company again, this thing has been having issues the entire time.'
'here, let me try,' you say as you bend over the center console to try the key for yourself, but obviously, it doesn't change anything. JJ grabs her phone and calls someone. 'hey, rossi, our car has broken down, could we hitch a ride to the hotel..? yeah, i know, we'll squeeze in... great, thanks, we'll see you in a minute.'
'don't the boys have a five-seater?' you ask as JJ hangs up the phone. she looks over at you with a sweet smile. 'yeah, but like i said, we'll squeeze in. and besides, i've been seeing you eye spencer, and he'll be polite enough to offer you a seat.'
you feel your cheeks heat and tell JJ to shut up, but you know damn well she's right. you have been eyeing spencer for a while. in fact, you've been doing more than that. unspoken moments together in hallways, soft touches during long days which end in secret randez-vous in hotel rooms late at night. during those meetings, spencer shows a different side of himself, the built up sensual tension from the entire day unloading onto you, and you know he loves that day long chase.
when the boys pull up, rossi is in the passenger seat with hotch driving. spencer and derek sit in the backseat. when derek opens the door and moves to the middle seat, you can already hear spencer rambling. 'driving with too many people in the car, particularly with one person sitting on another's lap, poses significant safety risks and is illegal in many places. the likelihood of severe injury or death increases for all passengers when seat belts are not used properly. according to the CDC, seat belt use reduces the risk of death by 45% and the risk of serious injury by 50% for front-seat occupants. For those in the rear seats, the reduction in risk of death is 25%.'
you smile as you hear his voice, JJ already having taken derek's spot, meaning the car is now full. you open the door at spencers seat, 'well, then i guess i'll sit in one of the rear seats, seeing as that cuts my risk of death in half,' you say, moving yourself to sit in spencers lap.
'no, wait, that's not what i meant, i just-' spencer starts to ramble again, his cheeks warming as you sit yourself down on his legs. derek cuts him off and says, 'well then you better hold on tight, pretty boy. be her seat belt.'
spencer looks confused and a bit panicked for a second, but when hotch starts the car, he wastes no time and wraps his arms around you. 'kids, behave back there,' he says as he pulls away.
rossi starts talking to hotch about today's case, a serial killer in the midwest, while JJ keeps derek's eyes on her in conversation. you and spencer are in a little bubble, even with four others in the car, no one is focussed on the two of you.
every time hotch turns a corner or hits a speed bump, your ass moves slightly over spencers crotch, and you feel his arms tighten around you. the drive will be about half an hour, but you can tell its going to be the longest thirty minutes of your life when you start to feel something growing underneath you.
you turn your head to look at spencer, who stares straight ahead. you always wonder what happens in his mind, but especially now. after another speed bump, he closes his eyes and his lips part slightly as you feel a twitch under you.
you start to grin, his desperate attempts to keep himself composed absolutely adorable. you decide to push your luck, grinding yourself down on him subtly. he moves one hand to your hip, grabbing it tightly and stilling you. you're afraid you might have gone too far.
when you look back at him, he is no longer staring forward. his eyes are fixed on you, and he starts to pull your hip back and forth. you open your mouth slightly in a surprised gasp, not expecting him to be so bold.
JJ and derek's chatter beside you, rossi and hotch's in front, and the two of you completely silent. the radio plays softly, and you're sure nobody is actually listening, but you will never be able to listen to this song like you used to before. taylor swift's 'wildest dreams' is now the soundtrack to an intimate moment between you two, and you know you'll remember this whenever you hear it again.
spencer keeps his movements subtle and slow, not pulling any attention to the two of you. the tension is almost palpable, and you truly hope nobody notices, but the people in this car are bold enough to say something if they do.
every soft gasp coming from spencer's lips, ever small furrow as his brow, but especially every bit of movement and every twitch from his cock makes you wetter and wetter, and you know damn well that you won't be alone in your hotel room tonight.
his hand that's not on your hip holds onto you tightly, squeezing the skin on your side as he desperately tries to get you closer, maybe even to get you alone.
the drive seems to last forever, but when the car comes to a halt, it feels like only 5 minutes have passed. you hadn't realised how much you had been pulled into the moment, and judging by spencers sigh, he hadn't either.
'well we made it. go to sleep, everyone. this case is far from closed,' hotch says as you all climb out of the car. you smile at spencer, his eyes still fixed on you. 'get some rest, spence, i'll see you tomorrow.'
derek takes one look at you two and smiles at the floor. as you walk towards the door, you hear derek talk to spencer, mocking your words, 'yeah, reid, get some rest.'
'shut up,' spencer said, his voice cracking slightly on the nerves, but you know that in about thirty minutes, he will be knocking on your hotel room door and he will be everything but for nervous...
#cm#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfiction#dr spencer reid#spencer reid#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid x reader#reid#smut#spencer reid smut#doctor spencer reid#bau team#bau
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"I've always been captivated by them. Something about the shiny exterior, how they glimmer when you tumble them around in your hands. My younger self would obsess about them, a childlike fascination. Even back then I instinctively knew they had value. My mom would use pearls I found to pay for a safe passage at scavenger tolls. We tried to bypass those points as much as we could, but sometimes it was unavoidable."
"It's a looong story…. I was found roaming the wilderness by my mentor, who brought me to er, an entity, called an interator. Do you know of iterators? Apparently they are what was left of an ancient civilization that once inhabited these lands. I couldn't wrap my head around it at first. Iterators are massive, absolutely huge, like mountains. Do you see that big structure of a regular, smooth shape?"
[She points towards Five Pebble's can in the distance]
"That is an iterator's «superstrucute». A mountain, the entire thing… is a person. It still sounds crazy when I say it."
"Ah, right, my name… like I mentioned, I got lost and my mentor found me. He brought me to his iterator. If my memory serves me right, his name is «No Significant Harassment», or NSH for short. I recall thinking at that time, «Harassment? I hope he won't be cruel to me». I had no concept of iterator names, their meaning, why it's three or however many words long. It was incredibly confusing to my young mind, though looking back at it I consider myself very lucky. The iterator was, dare I say, «god-like» (his own words), but benevolent. I saw how well he treated Hunter – my mentor – and it made me trust him more, even though I was scared and wary in the beginning."
"Would you believe it if I told you… there are stories written inside the pearls? That those things I’ve been obsessing about all my life are used for storing information? I had many of them leftover from when I lived at a scavenger outpost. One cycle, NSH noticed my interest, and – I wish Hunter had told me about this sooner, but – the iterator shot at my head with something…? And suddenly I could understand everything he said. Not that he said much, because I started crying loudly and ran straight out of there, haha. But before I bolted, he gave me one of his pearls as consolation. I think he felt bad for the scared little me."
"After that, he would eagerly read all the pearls I brought to him. That is how I learned more about the culture of the peoples who were here before me: the Ancients, their customs, why the iterators were built, and much more. It was like the knowledge of the entire world was suddenly revealed to me – to a seemingly insignificant being, a tiny speck in an endless ocean of life. It both made me feel very important, and very small. And, yeah, it has intensified my obsession with pearls beyond mortal limits. What if I could write into a pearl? I could archive the history of my entire species! All the stories my mom told me when I was small? All the places I’ve been to? Or other scugs have been to…"
[Her eyes widen, sparkling with glee]
"Y-yeah… that would be nice… sadly I am what I am – a slugcat. I don’t know how to do this very advanced stuff at all. I have no means of doing this. I once asked NHS for help, but there’s only so much he could guess from my frantic signing. I don’t think he understood me, in the end. But he did appreciate my efforts, and I was given a title – the Pioneer, like a person who is the very first to explore something uncharted. Apparently no slugcat before me thought of reading from or writing into pearls? I find it a little hard to believe."
"This one! This is a very special kind of pearl – it contains an ancient poem from which my name originated. See, my name was a gift from NSH the iterator. It’s spelled: «Mirmyntasseth». The best way I would describe it, is… it’s a name for a feeling, or an experience. The way it was explained to me, is that the word «Mirmyntasseth» is an expression of seeing a marble roll on a flat surface, then hitting another marble. Ah, right, you may not know this – a marble is like, like a pearl, but translucent and even more ornate. I was told that marbles were used by the Ancients for entertainment. They had a game where you rolled one to hit another. I'll admit, I can see the appeal. Throwing rocks is fun, although I image this game was considered a more dignified pastime."
[She tumbles the dark pearl in her hands, admiring its luster]
"The poem inside this pearl, one of its verses spells: «Eight Marbles Cast in Stone». The poem itself is long… very long… I had the iterator read it to me once, and we had to stop in the middle because the rain was coming. Maybe I will ask NSH to read it again, when I’m back at his superstructure with Hunter."
[Her gaze trails off to somewhere far away for a moment, a subtle grimace on her face. She closes her eyes and shakes off the thoughts that cloud her mind]
"So, um… yes… that is why I am called Eight Marbles Cast in Stone, or Marbles for short. I like how it sounds, it has a nice ring to it. And it’s a gift from an iterator, a god-like being. I consider it a great honor."
"…that said, I wonder why he didn’t just name me «Pearl»? Wouldn’t that make more sense? Maybe it didn’t sound cool enough. They’ve used pearls just to store information. I guess it’d be silly to be named «Dirt» because you doodle in dirt, or «Batfly» because you love eating batflies? Hmm…"
#rain world#rain world oc#rain world au#rw pioneer#rw no significant harassment#rw nsh#rw hunter#slugcat#slugpup#rw iterator#artificer's pups#ask blog#GATHER 'ROUND FOR A BEDTIME STORY#au lore#im going to crawl into a hole now and hibernate for a couple of days
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ANGELBEARRRR!!! IM GLAD YOU’RE FEELING BETTER MY BABY 🤎🤎🤎 i’ve had this thought floating around in my head for months but i can’t be arsed to write it so it’s yours now 🤭
imagine sleeping over at sevika’s place (probably before you move in together) and it’s getting late so she’s like “alright… well… lemme go get my jammies on…” and she comes back wearing FULL bear pjs, like she has a sleep shirt with a bear on it, bear pants, a bear ears headband to keep her hair out of her face, those ugly bear slippers, and she’s holding a teddy bear or two… and you just take a second to realize that THIS is the scary lady of zaun….
hehehehe i love youuuuuu
ENNABEAR I PASSED OUT FROM CUTENESS OVERLOAD OH MY GOD also this reminds me of some fantastic @dykesevika fanart that i will reblog so u guys can soak up the bear sevika vision. ooh ooh also shoutout to @fyeahnix as always for creating the adorable, perfect nickname for sev: sevi-bear. EEEEK
men and minors dni
you and sevika have been dating for about half a year now. you've spent the night at both your places, but those have always been sleepovers after sex, rushed and unplanned.
tonight, for the first time, you're having a sleepover. sure, you might end up having sex at some point, but that's not the point of tonight. the point of tonight is for you and sevika to just spend the evening together, giggling and gossiping and watching movies.
sevika ordered pizza, you built a nice little nest on her couch, and you've been each other's arms since then.
"where're you going?" you pout as your girlfriend tries to escape your arms. she chuckles.
"i wanna get my jammies on before the food gets here. you look so cozy in yours." she whines. you chuckle and shoo her away.
"fine, but hurry. i'm cold without you.
sevika grins and darts to her bedroom. you're curious to know what her jammies are-- she's only slept in boxers and socks beside you.
you're expecting her to wear a t-shirt and flannel bottoms, or something simple like that.
you certainly aren't expecting the full-body bear onsie, with a hoodie included, two little brown ears popping up on her head. her feet have little cloth claws embroidered into them. you almost pass out.
"oh. my. god."
"what?" sevika asks, frowning and crossing her arms over her chest, grumpily.
"sevika. did you buy that for me?" you ask.
sevika huffs and rolls her eyes. "no, these are my winter jammies."
you finally let out the squeal that's been bubbling up inside you, falling onto your back to kick your legs. sevika glares at you the entire time. you pull a pillow to your face to muffle your squeal.
eventually, sevika storms over and pulls the pillow away from your mouth. "don't suffocate yourself, jackass."
"sevika, this is the cutest fucking thing i've ever seen in my entire fucking life! you coo, pulling her down to rest on top of you. sevika grunts. you just giggle.
"they're... cozy." she tries to defend. you cackle.
"i'm sure they are, sevi-bear."
sevika groans at her new nickname. you pull her hood back so you can plant a wet smooch on her forehead.
"bears are my favorite animal, y'know." she pouts. you nod, your excited smile not fading in the slightest at the new information.
"any specific species?" you ask.
it's the right question. sevika perks up in your arms, and her embarrassment melts as a sparkle glimmers in her eye. "y'know there's only eight species of bear in the world?" she asks with wonder. you raise an eyebrow at her.
"no way, there's gotta be more."
"no! polar bear, brown bear, american black bear, asian black bear, sun bear, panda bear, and andean bear. that's it."
"what about koala?" you ask. sevika snorts and bites your neck. you cackle. "so, which one is your favorite?" you ask, nudging her butt with your heel. your heart does a somersault when you feel a plush little tail sewn on the back of her jammies.
"brown bear. obviously." she huffs, gesturing at herself.
"obviously." you giggle, kissing her. "and which one am i?" you ask.
sevika studies you for a second before speaking with a mischevious smirk. "panda."
you giggle. "why panda?"
"'cause they're useless on their own in the wild."
you gasp and kick her harder. sevika bursts into giggles. "i'm not useless!"
"well, you're not exactly brown-bear-ferocious."
"oh please. brown bears hibernate through winter and eat honey and salmon in the summer. deep down you just wanna be spoiled."
sevika sputters and glares at you, but before she can argue further, the doorbell rings with your pizza.
you giggle as you watch her shoulders fly up to her ears. "will you get it?" she asks meekly-- not wanting to be seen by a stranger in her cute pajamas.
you giggle and kiss her nose. "'course i will, sevi-bear."
you roll your eyes as you turn to answer the door. ferocious brown bear my ass. she's more like a teddy bear.
taglist!
@fyeahnix @lavendersgirl @half-of-a-gay @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner
@kissyslut @chuucanchuucan @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther
@lavenderbabu @emiliabby @sevikasbeloved @hellorai @my-taintedheart
@glass-apothecary @macaroni676 @artinvain @k3n-dyll @sevsdollette
@ellieslob @xayn-xd @keikuahh @maneskinwh0re @raphaellearp
@iamastar @sevikitty @mascdom @nhaaauyen @annesunshiner
@mirconreadzztuff22 @veoomvroom @lushh-s3vik4s @katyawooga @lesbodietcoke
@strawberrykidneystone @vkumi @fict1onallyobsessed @dvrkhcld @sweetybuzz25
@sluttysierraaa @snake-in-a-flower-crown @ruiwonderz @littlemisszaunite @biblicalcrybaby
@blackgaladriel @nightlyconfusion @dancingqu33n17 @losernb @p1nkearth
taglist!!
@sevikas-baby @ghostscandys
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paraselene woman ft. sakusa kiyoomi opposites attract , grumpy/sunshine , fluff ; 469 words
"and i'll wait for you as if i'm waiting for a storm to stop, i've heard them talking 'bout how i'm gonna put you off. tell me, how could i put you off when you're a matter of urgency, i've got a million things that i need to do but they're all secondary."
sakusa kiyoomi who had built a reputation as someone quite broody and composed, and decided he preferred it that way. it was much easier for him to disregard his classmates, only to interact with the people he chose to surround himself with. which is how he became subject to gossip, countless rumours about him spread through itachiyama like wildfire. although he’d never interact with them, there was one rumour which, in the eyes of his peers, was just too seamless to be fake. the way he had treated you, compared to everyone else, was so foreign to their perception of him. with gentle touches and soft words, it was evident to everyone that sakusa’s friendship with you stemmed deeper than just platonic exchanges.
sakusa kiyoomi who found himself quite infatuated with you. while rumoured, it was unbeknownst to everyone that the two of you were indeed a couple, and he was pleasantly surprised by how much his life had changed for the better since involving himself with you. maybe it was your charismatic and outgoing personality which charmed him, but there was something inside kiyoomi which transformed in it’s entirely when he was with you. his signature pout would drop, his creased forehead would disappear, and the heaviness which adorned his heart would slowly dissipate - he finally felt light again. it was an unmeasurable happiness in which he’d bask, his empty, white wall becoming a scrapbook of memories and tokens of you, glancing at them would fill him with unexplainable warmth.
sakusa kiyoomi who acted completely unfazed when you stopped denying the relationship accusations and confirmed the status between the two of you, but he couldn’t help the achy swelling in his heart when he heard that people believed that he wasn’t treating you well. sure he didn’t particularly care for other people outside his circle, but that didn’t mean that he’d dismiss you too. it didn’t make sense to him, why on earth would he want to hurt the one thing he’d truly love? he would prioritise you over anything if it came to it. his only goal was to protect you from anything that could potentially harm you. in fact, he quite enjoyed spending his time doting on you.
sakusa kiyoomi who was enigmatic and mysterious, completely contrasting you, but somehow the two of you had worked out to become two unlikely peas in a pod. the both of you were absolutely enamoured with each other. but maybe to others, his intimidating presence was like the moon, alone up high in the night sky, a symbol of independence, a status of superiority over others.
if it meant that sakusa kiyoomi was the moon, then you would be the paraselene which radiated around him, extracting his unnoticed beauty and exhibiting him to the rest of the world as his true self.
please like , reblog or follow if you enjoyed :p divs by roseraris
© heartmaddie all rights reserved. please do not repost my work.
#🎐maddie writes#haikyuu x reader#haikyu x reader#haikyuu fluff#sakusa fluff#sakusa x reader#sakusa kiyoomi#sakusa kiyoomi x reader#haikyuu imagines#haikyu fluff#divs by roseraris
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Use this one trick to instantly fix all childhood trauma (Jedi Masters don’t want you to know this)!!!!!
That is what every “if Obi-Wan had just— *adds one extra scene to canon* —then Anakin would’ve had perfect mental health and never listened to Palpatine at all,” sounds like to me. Look I am not an expert on any kind of psychology at all let alone early childhood development but,
It is possible to do your very best to help or raise someone and still have bad or imperfect outcomes, especially when you have someone actively, secretly working against you (cough cough Sith Lord of the month cough), (for many reasons, but in this case particularly), because unravelling the mindset built in early childhood is hard, actually.
Coming at this from the “raised in a safe and loving environment” side of things, it took me years to figure out and internalize that my friends whose parents weren’t as great as mine were functioning in an entirely different landscape when it came to their interactions with adults.
Many years ago when I was in middle school a friend (acquaintance? idk I think most people thought I was annoying) told me that her ankle kept giving out and causing her pain. I asked if she'd told her parents so she could rest or go to the doctor. She told me she had, but her mother either hadn't listened or refused to help. My (approximate) responses?
"So it's not actually that bad then?"
"You should tell her again."
"Are you sure you explained it right?"
The only explanation I could comprehend at the time was that there must have been some unclear communication about the situation or its severity--if her mother had understood she was in pain, she couldn't possibly have just not done anything about it? Adults are responsible, caring, etcetera! They wouldn't do that?!
With more experience, I've come to understand better, and learned to respond in kinder, more helpful ways, but the shift in mindset was not and is not intuitive.
And I had the luxury of figuring all that out whilst being safe myself. Coming from the other direction, being in danger and trying to figure out why other people act like the world is safe? I can't say for sure, but I imagine it’s a lot more complicated.
Point with regard to Star Wars being, it really is harder for Anakin, coming in later, to acclimate to the Jedi ways and thought processes than it is for his peers who grew up in the safe environment of the Temple. And whatever arguments people want to have about how much psychology and therapy exist in the Star Wars universe, or how much “Jedi just do cognitive behavioral therapy” (not totally inaccurate, but reductive on several levels), no matter what the answers to those questions, it will still be harder for Anakin.
There is a reason the council changes its mind on training him only after he is suddenly famous and the Sith are proven to be back. When Anakin was not in significant danger of being snatched up by someone else, it was genuinely probably the easier and safer option—for him and everyone else—for him to live a different life.
The Jedi are not necessarily fully prepared for a child with Anakin's history, and, there is nothing bad about living an ordinary life. Anakin would not have been somehow unforgivably robbed by living life as a mechanic or an engineer or something, rather than being a Jedi.
Anakin is a victim of many things in his life—Sidious, Watto, Gardulla, Tatooine’s everything, his own conscious choices—but he is not a victim of malice, incompetence, or idiocy by the Jedi just because they couldn't—in only a decade or so—help him fully and perfectly unravel the mindset he developed in his early childhood. If there was any lack of qualification on their part, it was one they were aware of—but which was outweighed by the danger of little Anakin getting kidnapped out of normal-kid elementary school.
Being brought up in and around slavery absolutely made him more vulnerable to Sidous and became the basis of their dynamic as master and apprentice. Acting like the trauma that affects his mindset and actions for his entire life can be obliterated just by making minimal changes to the plot is wild to me.
And don’t get me wrong, fics and headcanons can do whatever they want, not everyone wants or is trying to write a deep psychological character study (also fanfic and even fiction in general cannot and should not be held to any standard of realism if it's not serving the story and the author)—simple fix-it’s (my love) are fun and an excellent short-cut to other things like happiness and fluff (my other loves)—but don’t act serious about the idea that adding one conversation about his feelings or one extra explanation about Jedi philosophy would automatically lead to Anakin having perfect mental health outcomes and always making good decisions.
Disclaimer (if the ones throughout weren't enough) : please go forth and do whatever you want. the moral of this post is actually just that (1) you won’t convince me, (2) I wanted to talk about this, (3) the clickbait title was too funny not to post, (4) i literally can't open my mouth without phrasing things like i'm in the middle of a heated debate, and (5) i continue to not be an expert in early childhood development—my evidence is very literally anecdotal
#star wars#anakin skywalker#mental health#click bait#jedi#obi wan kenobi#will continue to be annoyed about this on be half of both Anakin *and* the Jedi since they are alas not real to do it themselves#(actually annoyed about the concept being applied in real life but shhh this is a star wars blog)#P.S. anyone want to hear the rant about how I think this all works for Anakin in conjunction with Amavikka in the Double Agent Vader story?#cuz i can go on and on and--#*gets abducted for plagerism by whoever actually writes clickbait titles*#krayt meta
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I've Got My Love to Keep Me Warm
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/45ae34f2524abafa2153b2998032ef7d/fc281ab43fc5fae7-8d/s640x960/54cbc7f2dd8029e02e56850e5bc0e663ca2b774a.jpg)
Warnings: Smut (Oral F receiving, sex sex sex)
Word Count: 1.3k
Andrew x Reader (y/n)
The laughter of our friends echoes down the hall as he guides me further and further away from them. We’re hosting the annual holiday party this year for the first time. It was our third holiday season together but the first one in our new home.
“They’re going to notice we’re gone, we’re going to get caught,” I say while tugging his hand. I can’t help the fit of giggles that follow.
“Love, we’re only going to get caught if you’re loud,” Andrew replies, and the heat building in my stomach drops. We continue down the long hallway until we hit the staircase. I’m ready to start tiptoeing up them, trying to remind myself to avoid the squeaky stair halfway up, when Andrew pulls us into the small closet built under the stairs instead, causing me to gasp.
“This is way too close to everyone else!” I hiss under my breath.
He laughs while tugging me in further. “We have about ten minutes before Marlow comes looking for me; better make them count.”
My protests quickly fail as he attaches his lips to my throat, my ultimate weakness. He pulls me against him as he pushes the door shut with a soft click. I’m holding on to his arms as though they’re life preservers keeping me from drowning in all of him. I feel the low rumble of his laugh as he peppers soft kisses trailing up to my lips.
As soon as Andrew’s lips touch mine, I feel myself drown. It’s intoxicating as I spiral from our kiss. I let my hands roam over his arms, chest, anything I can touch. It seems as though he feels the same way with the way his hands are pulling my dress up over my thighs. I can feel his fingers slip over the outside of my thong, looping into each side. With one quick movement, he pulls them down and falls to his knees simultaneously. He looks up through his lashes at me, and god, is it a beautiful sight. His pupils are so blown out that I can barely make out the green of his eyes I love so much. I’m breathless looking at how gorgeous this man is. I feel lucky.
“I’ve been thinking about you all day, love. I need to taste you.” Andrew sounds desperate as he plants kisses on my thighs, almost like he’s waiting for me to permit him.
“Please,” my voice comes out breathless, almost inaudible, but it’s all he needs. He takes his fingers and separates my folds to give me one long swipe of his tongue. I forget our rules, where we are, for a moment, and moan in relief. Finally, my man is where he belongs.
“You have to stay quiet, love, or I can’t let you finish.”
My hands instantly go to the back of Andrew’s head. “Sorry, sorry, don’t stop.”
“My needy girl, what am I going to do with you?” He doesn’t give me time to respond as he expertly finds my clit. I’m focusing hard on not making a sound, but I can’t help the whimper that comes out of me when he inserts a single finger. The scrape of his beard on the inside of my thighs is deliciously painful.
“More, please give me more.” I’m close, something that always happens fast with him. I feel him chuckle, which just makes my clit hum in pleasure, but he complies. I feel the second finger enter me, and I slowly become untethered. My hands are lost in his unruly curls as I hold him against me, chasing my release. His fingers curl inside of me, and I come entirely undone. It’s hard to remember to stay quiet when he makes me feel this good. When he’s sure I’ve come down, he rises from his place on his knees.
“I need to feel you,” Andrew whispers against my ear as he turns me around. I hear the zipper of his pants before he shrugs them down his thighs. He places the crown of his cock against my entrance, and I can’t help but push up against it; the anticipation is unbearable.
“My desperate girl can’t wait for me, can she?” My head shakes in response as I hear him tsk behind me. “You know the rules, babe. Use your words.” He slowly removes his cock so he isn’t touching me anymore.
“Please, please. I need you. I can’t wait.” He’s right, I am desperate for him.
I hear Andrew’s low chuckle behind me as he repositions himself at my entrance. He doesn’t give me any warning at all before he’s bottoming out inside of me. The mix of our moans fills the tiny closeted space while he brings up a hand to my neck. With his hand slightly tightening on my throat and the other gripped onto my hip, he starts to thrust.
“You’re so wet for me. Just for me. God, I love being inside you.” Andrew murmurs in my ear. I feel myself melting for him. I press my ass back and spread my legs even more, trying to get as much of him as I can.
“You need this too, don’t you, babe? My naughty girl, I love when she comes out to play.” I lightly moan in response to his words when his hand gives a warning squeeze around my throat.
“My naughty girl still needs to be quiet. Wouldn’t want to be found, would we?”
“No, sorry, please.” My breath hitches in my throat as Andrew thrusts into me at a steady pace. His hand slowly travels up my side as his languid thrusts continue until he reaches the peak of my breast. My nipple is hard, and I need more from him. I don’t have to say anything as he pinches my nipple and gives me the pressure I am desperately searching for.
“You feel so good, pleasedon’tstop.” I barely recognize my own voice anymore. I love when sex with Andrew sends me into another dimension.
“Let me feel you come, love, come undone for me.” My orgasm is right on the surface as I listen to his words, but once his hand deserts my breast and makes its way to my clit I am entirely done for.
It’s hard not to whimper as I come on Andrew’s cock, and it’s hard not to moan when I feel him release inside of me. It feels as though there’s no more air in this closet, just Andrew and I. He stays behind me for a moment, maybe two, just holding me in our post-coital bliss. When he’s ready, he finally pulls out of me, and I can’t help but whimper at the empty feeling.
Andrew moves around me and cleans me up with my discarded panties. After he puts them on the shelf out of view, “I’ll come back for these when everyone leaves.” He says as he presses a kiss to my temple.
“You better not forget them, I swear, Andrew.”
“Swear what?” He presses a kiss to my lips. “I know how to get on your good side, love. I’m not worried.” He laughs that glorious laugh; it’s the best sound I’ve ever heard. He unlocks the closet door and looks back at me, “ready to go back?”
“Do I look okay?” I ask as I smooth my dress back out, trying to look as normal as possible. Andrew takes my wrists and stops my movements.
“You, my love, are ethereal.” A single kiss to my forehead. “Let’s go.”
As we walk back down the hallway , the voices get louder and louder, seemingly right on time; a small pair of footsteps is running towards us.
“Uncle Annndreeeewww!!” Marlow bellows. “I’ve been looking for you! Have you been playing hide and seek?” She erupts into a fit of giggles as Andrew lifts her above his head.
“Absolutely was, Mar. Good job! You found us.”
I can’t help but laugh behind them as we walk into our living room to be greeted by everyone else.
“You two were gone for quite some time.” Our friend calls from the other side of the room.
Andrew’s quick to cover Marlow’s ears before he responds. “You know me, I would never worship and tell.”
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You Again (Roman Reigns) - Part 1
That awkward moment when the biggest star in pro wrestling happens to be your high school bully…and he’s in your office. A 2-part series.
Pairing: Bully!Roman Reigns x OC
Word Count: 2,500
Warning: Hints of smut, stalking, bullying
FINALLY! I've fleshed out this WIP. I'm so proud of myself! Hope you like it. Enjoy!
---------------
Evelyn squeezed into the crowded elevator, relieved that she’d gotten in before the doors could slide shut. She combed her fingers through her wig, smoothed down her blouse and took a deep breath as another work day that came too soon was about to start. Stepping out on the fifth floor, she fixed her face like she didn’t wish she was back in Cancun sipping on some Piña Coladas at her beachfront cabana.
The offices of Wow Magazine buzzed left and right, with employees and staff bustling about as the latest edition of the fashion Bible was published on print and digital media today. Evelyn plastered a smile on her face and accepted their glowing compliments on her outfit. Dressed in a cute off-white sweater blouse, a white pleated miniskirt with sheer Fendi ‘F’ tights and black stilettos, the ‘Editor-in-Chief’ nameplate pasted to her door reminded her every day that she couldn’t be caught dead looking a mess at any time.
“Latte for Miss Ashton?” Her assistant, Faith, entered her office ten minutes later with her usual Starbucks order. “Welcome back, boss. You look refreshed and ready to go already!” she chirped, setting the Styrofoam cup down on the mahogany desk. "How was your vacation?"
"Way too short. I wanna go back already," she replied. "So what's on my agenda today before I change my mind and get outta here?"
Faith laughed and scrolled down her iPad. "You got a meeting at ten with Tessa on September’s feature cover. Your lunch meeting with Roger from Finance is at noon, then there’s a couple of itineraries that need your approval. I’ve already emailed them to you."
"Sounds good." Evelyn took a sip of her coffee and chatted some more with Faith before she was left alone to get settled. At five to ten, she was walking to the conference room when she caught a glimpse of a tall, powerfully built man standing at the reception area, his back only visible in profile. His well-tailored pinstripe gray Gucci suit was a perfect fit on his big frame and all the musculature underneath. A jolt of interest pinged through her for this attractive stranger, but it was quickly replaced by shock as he turned around and his dark eyes met hers.
This was no stranger at all. It was her worst nightmare!
It had been several years, but there was no mistaking that face. It was bad enough that she’d had to look at it every single day for much of her teen years. Said face also haunted her TV on Friday nights, and given how he'd made her life miserable, she couldn’t forget it if she tried.
Oh no. No, no…no!
She felt her stomach drop when his eyes widened. Fuck! He recognized her, too! She couldn’t tear her eyes away from his fiery stare as his lips formed her name.
“Evie?”
Hearing him address her by her shortened name snapped her temporary paralysis. Ducking her head, she almost stumbled in her heels as she rushed into the conference room and slammed the door shut. Flattening her back against it, she exhaled shakily, her heart racing at a million miles a minute as she struggled to process what she’d just seen.
More frightening was the sight of him walking into the conference room just a few moments later with Tessa, Wow’s Artistic Director, a cheery smile on her face as she announced,
“Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce to you the cover star for September’s edition, WWE Superstar Roman Reigns!”
Focusing on the meeting was difficult. Staying professional was even tougher knowing her tormentor sat mere feet away, staring a hole through her the entire time. She wanted to throw up as Tessa gushed over the magazine’s newly-penned partnership with WWE, which came with a cover feature for its biggest star in their most popular edition of the year. This also meant that in just a few short weeks, Evelyn would have to see him again, as it was her job to oversee his photoshoot, wardrobe, and the interview itself. Even more nauseating was that Management was to hold a lavish yacht party this coming weekend celebrating the partnership with Joe as their special guest of honor. Clearly, a lot had transpired while she was away, and she didn’t like any of it one bit.
Neither Tessa nor Faith noticed her eagerness to get out of there when the meeting finally, thankfully ended. She quickly darted into the break room nearby and fought to catch her breath, hating that she was running around like a cornered rat. Luckily the room was empty, meaning no one could see her in her flustered state. She was known for her cool calm demeanor, but one asshole had just come into her world and turned it upside down. Again.
She couldn’t believe this! Why was the Lord testing her like this?
Joe Anoa’i had single-handedly almost ruined her entire high school experience. For one, he made sure no boy came near her during her first three years. She was the constant butt of mean jokes thanks to his stupid football teammates, led by him and his twin cousins Jon and Josh Fatu. Her locker would often be spray-painted with derogatory names or overflowing with trash, and, at one horrific time, used condoms. She remembered the tears she’d cried after she had to clean up that disgusting stuff all by herself in front of everyone.
When her father was transferred out of state right before her senior year began, she had been beyond relieved. Most teenagers would have been devastated to be uprooted for their last year in high school, but Evelyn was ecstatic. She was never going to see Joe or his cronies again, and it was the chance to finally have a normal high school experience.
She could vividly recall the last time she saw him. She'd been so happy at the prospect of escape that, when he paused in the hall to watch her clean out her locker for the last time, she made full eye contact with him for once and laughed in his face.
"Sayonara, bitch," Evie cheesed, smiling smugly when a scowl darkened his irritatingly handsome face.
"What are you doing?" he demanded, walking up to her, his expression intense.
"Gettin’ away from you and this fucking school forever. You’ll never see me again and I don’t gotta deal with your bullshit anymore," she replied coldly. Stepping past him, she almost fell over when he grabbed her arm and yanked her back, colliding their bodies together.
Joe leaned down, towering over her petite figure, and growled, "Oh sweetheart, trust me when I say you'll see me again. I’ll find you wherever you are, no matter how long it takes. That’s a promise."
Evelyn recalled his raspy last words with trepidation. That he had indeed found her, just like he’d threatened, spooked her to no end.
Behind her, the door clicked open, and the air in the room changed. Shifted. Charged with a palpable tension. Through the reflection of a nearby window, she saw Joe shut the door behind him. With her heart in her throat, she kept her back turned and did her best to ignore his approaching footsteps. But with only a few long strides, he was standing right behind her, boxing her in his much bigger body. She hated the way her skin prickled and the fine hairs on the back of her neck stood on end. Blood pounded in her ears as his familiar scent reached her nose, triggering memories of when he had mercilessly tortured her in school. She stiffened at the reminder and struggled with her body's response to his closeness. Close enough now that there was very little room for her to escape even if she wanted to.
His hard chest molded against her back. His thick, muscular arms stretched across the table she leaned on from both sides, trapping her. She could feel every inch of him, every muscle attached to her like steel to a magnet. Her breath caught, torn between shoving him away and giving in to the arousal that pulsed through her body. When she felt his mouth close to her ear, a shiver coursed down her spine.
"Evie," Joe breathed. His low, husky voice uttering her name set off the butterflies in her belly and spread heat through her body. As his hands moved to her shoulders, her skin broke out into goosebumps and her nipples hardened into sharp little points, chafing almost painfully against the lace of her bra. Despite her body's involuntary reaction, she held herself rigidly, staring straight ahead, giving no indication that she could feel anything.
"I thought I was imagining things," he went on in that gruff, yet velvety tone, "But no. I'd know that face anywhere.”
“Oh look, the leader of N’Stink is here. Long time no see,” Evelyn finally spoke up, her tone cold and clipped.
“Leader of what?” he laughed. She didn't see what was so funny.
“That was my name for you and the evil twins. Jon and Josh. I remember you all,” she said.
Joe smirked. “Who knew little Evie Ashton was so creative.”
“I’m not ‘Evie’ anymore. I go by Evelyn now.” She dared to glare up at him and despised the way her knees weakened immediately. He was more gorgeous than he was twenty years ago and was still able to effortlessly awaken her body with just one look, with just his proximity. It reminded her how, as a teen, she had been so confused and embarrassed by the way she simultaneously loathed him and desired him. Unfortunately nothing about that had changed.
"This is the other reason I knew it was you." His mouth was by her ear again. To her complete shock, he pressed himself against her, and she sucked in a breath as what felt like an impressive erection lightly prodded her backside. "All you had to do was come near me and you had me so hard I couldn’t walk straight sometimes."
Hold up!
Her eyes went wide. “What are you talking about?”
“You have no damn idea how much I wanted you, Evie,” Joe elaborated, licking his lips as he gazed at her. “I wanted a taste of them soft lips. Your tits. Your pussy. Hell, I still do.”
Evelyn clenched her thighs together, failing to stop the rush of warmth between her legs at his unexpected words. “You’re fuckin’ lying,” she stammered. This coming from the same guy who regularly made fun of her skinny frame and horn-rimmed glasses back then. Total bullshit!
He shook his head. “I'm not. You feel that, don’t you?” He grinded against her again, nudging the back of her skirt a little higher up her thighs. She opened her mouth to tell him to get the fuck away from her, but all that came out was a whimper. She glanced down, seeing his strong, tanned hands now grasping her hips, lining up her ass directly against his crotch. Mindlessly, she pressed back against him, her body giving into the urges despite her brain’s protests. Lust coursed through her, drugging her into docility. The same thing kept happening back in high school. Even when she was furious at him, he'd affected her so strongly on a physical level that she felt almost drunk when she was around him. What was worse, he was the first and only boy who had turned her on like that without even lifting a finger. Not even Chuka, her ex-fiancé, ever set her body on fire like this, despite his numerous attempts.
As a teenager, she would daydream during the day, and at night, laying alone in her bed, fantasize about being with Joe Anoa’i…wondered what it would feel like, imagined the heights he could take her to if they ever had sex…
Encouraged by her complacency, Joe’s lips trailed the crook of her neck, and her head tilted back reflexively. His steel length felt like it was branding her through her skirt. She panted heavily, air expelling in short bursts from her lungs as his mouth trailed ever closer, ghosting over her jawline and her cheek before finally landing on hers, sucking her bottom lip. For the life of her, she wondered why she didn’t push him away. Perhaps it was because she was starved for a man’s touch which had been missing for the past year. Or maybe because it was a kiss she’d dreamed of; a kiss that would set her ablaze and burn her from the inside out. It was the kiss she’d wanted for two decades but never got. Until now.
Evelyn could hear her inner, mentally-scarred teen scream for joy as she turned in his arms and kissed his soft lips back with a defeated moan. The energy between them had amplified tenfold, making her heart race, urging her to dive into him. Joe seemed to read her mind and, pushing her up against the table, slipped his tongue into her mouth, his hand leaving her waist to curl around her throat. It was the simplest, yet the kinkiest of touches which unleashed a tsunami between her thighs and another moan against his lips. She felt his dick pulse against her belly as the kiss became more urgent, hungrier. With a gentle nudge of his foot, he spread her legs wider apart, and her body jerked with surprise when he shoved his other hand inside her skirt, boldly cupping the mound protected by her panties.
“Just like I thought, you’re wet as fuck. Did I make you wet like this back then? Huh?” Joe goaded, his lips an inch from hers, making her feel every word he uttered. "Tell me."
Evelyn couldn’t stop her eyes from rolling back, or her body grinding against his fingers as they circled around the dampness on her underwear before tugging the satin material to the side. His hand on her neck slipped lower to grab her breast, fondling it in his large palm as his lips latched onto the side of her throat. It was an attack from all fronts and Evelyn was very much losing the fight.
Until his finger dipped inside her wetness, which her brain computed as one lascivious act too many and finally snapped her back to her senses.
“Okay, stop! Stop it!” she hissed in a panic, pushing him off her. She glanced around the room, hoping no one else was there as she adjusted her clothes, and then raced out of the room as fast as her heels could carry her, desperate to get away. She slammed her office door shut and did not come out again until he left.
On her desk, the invite to the yacht party taunted her in its fancy, elaborate lettering and graphics, a craftwork that would have impressed her if it didn’t make her want to vomit and run away forever, or better yet, book another flight to Cancun never to return.
How the fuck was she going to get through the week?
And where the fuck was her vibrator when she needed it?
END OF PART ONE
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Thoughts?
Credit to the owners of the pics and gifs.
🏷️: @jxtina-86 @wrestlingprincess80 @fame-ass-ers @southerngirl41 @alyyaanna @jstarr86 @murrylove @thewarlordsworld @mzv11 @nayys-world @hunnidmilly @tribalhoochie @cyberdejos2 @papireigns-05 @harmshake @niknakbucks92 @captainwithoutmakingitlove @sovereigngoth @aisharmi @kennedi0818 @alichesmi @thesamoanqueen @questionable-behaviour @tribalchiefreigns @2-muchsauce @thatbxtchsblog @raya-hunter01 @marchi36753 @lovelysuccess @christinabae @wooahmiri @thatonecarebear @tabletheofhead @rheaanddamianfan @vebner37 @hanley1577 @princessesareforsuckers @-naturally @joannasteez @bbygirlky18 @lilucey @theninthwonder @melaninsugababy @chocovibesonly @msbluehaz3 @shes2real @trippinsorrows @scarlettnoir01 @heerah34 @empressdede @tbmotw @darkangelchronicles @visionarymode @marasdeathnote @aintnorainbows @meggylynnloves @shantinextdoor @femdisa @harlemblipster @trc-punzel @afterdarkprincess @nbanenefrmdao @sassginaswanmills @purplehairgawdess @holisticcoach @girlwhogaf @royalkay23 @heyitsnajabrinee @stoner2k @reci1996 @catxo @iamimanim @lookmais @ts1mp0ne @lizzyd1ish @m3llowww @skyesthebomb @final1miya @kia1996 @randomuser0711 @yourtribalqueen @katymae12344��@that-one-anxious-mango @yana3sworld @caramelcleopatraa @truefant4sy @thetribalqueen @bhjszsdxc @paigereeder @christinabae @justazzi @maknaehyucks @mindairy @headoftheetable @truefant4sy @mscarter213 @ariiaeltheedonn @sageispunk @xbriexx @heauxvibez
#roman reigns#roman reigns fanfiction#roman reigns fanfic#roman reigns smut#wwe#roman reigns x oc#roman reigns x black oc#the tribal chief#roman reigns imagines#roman reigns imagine
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Discord 18+ - Twitter - JJK Masterlist
Pairing: Gojo Satoru x Female Reader
Summary: Every choice Satoru makes just seems to be digging himself into a deeper hole. But when it comes to you, he can’t seem to help himself.
Story Warning: Smut, Vaginal Sex, Toxic Behavior, Cheating, Protected Sex (wrap it up kids), Jealousy, Obsessive Behavior, Exes to Lovers (for a lil bit), Gojo is sprung on reader real bad, Dumb Stupid Idiot Satoru, Downbad Satoru
Gojo art by: Ilameys (used with permission)
Available to read on Ao3!
AN: Gojo has been eating my brain so I had to get something out. I've been obsessively listening to LIMBO by keshi and had it on repeat writing this (listen to it if you haven't!) Anyway, enjoy!
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“Satoruuuuu,” an aggravating, whiny voice slurs. “Can you get me another drink pleaseeeee?”
“Hm? Oh, sure.”
Satoru rises from his seat on the couch, running his fingers through his silky white hair. He leaves his girlfriend to chat with her friends as he makes his way to the kitchen for yet another drink. Really, he should cut her off and take her home. She’s insufferable when she gets a drop of liquor in her, not that she’s any less annoying when she’s sober. All the whining, all the clinginess, all the slurring of his name as she wraps herself all around him. It used to be cute when they first started dating a year ago. Now it’s just suffocating. But Satoru sucks it up, though he’s not entirely sure why. Maybe because when she drinks, he doesn’t have to deal with actually trying to have a conversation with her. She’s a bit more tolerable after a few drinks. Annoying still, but less so.
He maneuvers through the crowd of the house party he’s currently attending. It’s packed, the scent of alcohol heavy in the air. Leave it to Suguru to go all out when he’s back in town. The guy invited practically everyone from their time in high school. Since arriving, Satoru’s already run into Mei Mei, Ino, Utahime (unfortunately) and surprisingly Nanami. There’s even students from the Ainu Technical School here. He had no idea Suguru even knew them.
Regardless, Satoru is happy to see everyone. He stops every so often to chat with old classmates as he wanders towards the kitchen. Everyone seems to be doing well for themselves since graduating high school, which Satoru is glad for. No matter how life went, he always wished everyone well.
And life was good for Satoru, too. At 26 years old, he certainly couldn’t complain about much. He’d graduated from high school, gone to college, had a hell of a great time during his undergrad career, got himself a well paying cushy sales job. And he had a girlfriend that he…had been with for awhile. Life couldn’t be better for him.
So why did it always feel like something was missing?
Satoru enters the enormous kitchen and makes a beeline to the assortment of drinks lined along the built-in bar. Of course Suguru has a built-in bar in his kitchen with an array of pre-made cocktails to choose from. Always such a great host when he’s not traveling to clean up celebrity messes for his PR firm.
“Satoru!” A man’s voice sings behind him as an arm slings across his shoulders.
“Haibara,” Satoru greets him. “Back for another drink?”
Satoru grabs one of the plastic party cups from the counter and pours one of the cocktails into it; something fruity and syrupy. He might’ve given it a try if the overwhelming smell of tequila didn’t burn his nostrils. He thinks of his girlfriend, knowing she will definitely feel like shit by the end of the night.
“Hm?” Haibara shakes his head, his raven hair whipping with the movement. “No way. One is enough for me. I have early practice tomorrow. Coach says my swing needs work, so not willing to fuck that up.” Ah right. Satoru had totally forgotten that Haibara played tennis professionally now. He nods, listening to his friend fill him in on what his plans for tomorrow are. Haibara’s wide brown eyes follow Satoru’s movements as he fills his cup. “You, though? I never see you drink at these things?”
Satoru shakes his head. “Not for me. For my girlfriend.”
Haibara’s signature, open-mouthed grin spreads wide across his face. “Oh! You’re still dating her? Wow. Good for you, man.”
Something about the surprise in Haibara’s tone takes Satoru aback, brows knitting at this. “Why’d you say it like that?”
Haibara crosses his arms, his smile melting away with a sigh. “I mean…” Haibara sighs your name quietly. “The two of you were together for a long time before you broke up after high school. We all thought you’d still be together, but if you could end that relationship, I’m just a little surprised you’re still with this one. That’s all. But if you’re happy...”
Just hearing your name on Haibara’s tongue has Satoru’s stomach twisting in knots. He hasn’t seen or spoken to you in years, something he’s been wanting to change for a long time but too cowardly to do so.
Satoru nods, giving Haibara a weak smile. He can admit that his girlfriend was…not the least bit interesting, annoying and did little for him. But he enjoyed her company sometimes.
“Just don’t be surprised if one of us leaves with Y/N tonight, though,” Haibara jokes, throwing his head back with an obnoxious chuckle.
What?
Satoru feels his heart leap into his throat as his crystalline eyes dart rapidly over every occupant in the kitchen, only seeing the familiar faces of his old classmates and a few strangers. There’s no sign of you. Maybe Haibara was just fucking with him.
Satoru laughs to save face, albeit awkwardly. “Funny,” he mutters, staring down into the drink meant for his current girlfriend, though now his thoughts are only occupied with you.
“Hey man, I need to get back to my girl, so I’ll catch you later,” Satoru tells his old friend.
“Yeah, later! Hey!” Haibara calls out to him and Satoru turns briefly. “Let’s get together to play some time!”
“Yeah, sure. Text me!” Satoru calls back, waving as he exits the kitchen. Unlikely, but he appreciates the effort.
Satoru shoulders through the crowd again, carefully holding onto the red cup in hand so it doesn't spill. He takes his time getting back, a new goal in mind: find you. Are you actually here? Or was Haibara just trying to mess with him? His heart pounds hard in his chest as he moves, eyes scanning every face he sees.
It’s been seven long years since Satoru last spoke to you - his first real crush, his first real girlfriend, his first time. His first everything. He wonders if you’ve thought about him at all in this time. He’d be surprised if you did. Things didn’t exactly end well between you two.
......
Seven Years Ago
You and Satoru dated all through high school. Satoru, a star athlete, played many sports and you supported him through them all, cheering for him at every game and helping him with his practice. You two were inseparable. If you weren’t at Satoru’s place, he was at yours. The love was deep between you two and a promise was made that you’d always be together.
But life didn’t always happen the way you wanted. The joy and excitement of being accepted into your dream schools did not last long when you realized you’d be going to school thousands of miles away and oceans apart. It was the first time a true test of your relationship was presented. Satoru was staying in Japan for college while you were headed overseas. Could your relationship survive the distance?
The first few months apart weren’t so bad. Satoru was making friends, excelling at school and becoming quite popular. You were also busy with your new life and hobbies. You made time for each other when you could. But it wasn’t enough. The loneliness Satoru felt without you was all consuming and it was only a matter of time before he found himself sending fewer texts, calling less, absorbed in the newness of college life.
Satoru loved you so much, but he wasn’t an idiot. He knew the likelihood of a long distance relationship surviving was slim regardless of who it was. It wasn’t for lack of trying, but the trying part was becoming more burdensome than he wanted.
And it wasn’t as though you had done anything wrong. This feeling Satoru was experiencing was all on him. You made the effort to keep in touch, to call when you could. And you still wanted it to work. But if Satoru were honest, he just wanted to enjoy his time in school without the constant worry of pleasing someone who he never saw unless it was behind a screen. It was selfish of him, but he wanted to have fun. This was a new world and he wanted to be free to explore it.
So he ended things.
He’ll never forget the quiet sobs on the other end of the phone as he sat in silence after uttering the words, “I don’t think this is going to work out anymore”.
His heart ached listening to your hushed pleas for him to not do this, to not end things this way. But it was for the best. In the long run, you’d be happier. He’d be happier and what was that corny saying again?
If you love something, set it free? Satoru thinks that’s what he did that day.
And you were so upset. Rightfully so. You loved Satoru. You were each other’s first kiss, first times before you left for college, first loves. You’d quite literally given everything to each other. But Satoru couldn’t commit to you anymore. He didn’t want to. He wanted to enjoy college, live his life. It may be selfish of him, but he didn’t see it that way. It was his chance to grow.
Even after all of your pleading, he stuck to his guns. It was torture, listening to you tearfully beg him not to do this to you. He had to end this.
So he told you he’d met someone else, that he couldn’t be with you anymore because there was another woman he wanted to be with. The stretch of silence was painful, Satoru quietly waiting to see if you had anything to add. The call ended with you hanging up in his face with only a choked sob as the last thing he’d heard.
Adjusting to life without you proved difficult at first. Satoru isn’t embarrassed to admit he moped around campus for a while before he was able to start trying to move on. After that, the next few months of college were great. Satoru was Mr. Popular, quickly rising to the top of his collegiate sports team. He was the life of any party he went to, the center of attention wherever he went.
Life should’ve felt perfect.
But as the months passed, Satoru found his mind occupied with the thought of you at the worst times.
While his professor discusses marketing strategies, Satoru’s mind wanders to you.
What are you doing right now?
When he’s at practice getting berated by the coach for poor blocking form, he knows he can’t tell him it’s because he’s distracted by the thought of you.
Who are you with?
When he’s giving another girl his number at a party, planning to hook up later, he pushes back the memory of the first time he’d spoken to you.
Where are you?
When he finds himself between another girl's legs that same night, he squeezes his eyes shut, picturing you and biting his tongue as he tries his best not to moan your name.
Do you still think about him?
The months soon stretch into a year and Satoru hopes this intense yearning he has for you will just fade away. He’s not so lucky. If anything, he thinks about you more. He checks your social media profiles to find you’ve removed him as a friend on everything. Of course you did. He ripped your heart in two. There was no way you’d allow him access back into your life. Your accounts are all private, so he can’t see anything and he’s not willing to ask a mutual friend about what you’ve been up to. It only makes him a little bit crazy that you’ve put up this wall between you two so he has no access to you.
Another six months pass and Satoru works up the nerve to text you for the first time since you’d broken up. He hopes you’ll reply. It’s been more than a year. You can’t possibly still be upset, can you? He can admit that he could have handled the way he ended things better, sure. But if he can get past it, you can too, right?
You never respond.
More months pass by and soon another year. One late night, Satoru slips into his apartment after a failed hookup. He pulls his phone out, scrolling through his contacts to find your name. You didn’t reply to his last text. He doubts you’ll respond to this one, but he takes a deep breath and shoots off a message to you before he changes his mind.
Days later, you finally respond. You chat for a while, sending messages back and forth. Generic things, really. Just catching up. Until one night Satoru musters up the courage to call you.
“Hello?” You answer. There’s soft music in the background and Satoru wonders what you’re up to. Are you home? Maybe you’re relaxing and the music is on for background noise. Or maybe you’re with someone, listening to music to set the mood. There’s an unpleasant twist that forms in his stomach at the thought.
“Hey,” he says easily, though he can barely hear your voice over the rapid pounding of his heart. “I figured a phone call may be easier than just texting. What are you doing?”
“Oh, yeah, that makes sense.” He hears you shuffling around, then the quiet click of a door closing as the music fades out. “I’m actually at a friends for dinner.”
A friend. He wants to ask more about your friend, but he knows he has no right to that information anymore.
“Sorry to interrupt your night,” he tells you, hoping his voice doesn’t betray how tense he is. His heart feels like it’s about to beat out of his chest.
“It’s fine. I have a couple minutes to spare.” You sound relaxed. Like speaking to Satoru doesn’t have the same effect on you as it does on him. Like talking to him is just like talking to anybody else. He knows it’s his own fault it’s this way, but it still stings. “Did you need something?”
You.
That’s what Satoru wants to say. More than anything, he wants to tell you that he wants you back, that he needs you back. He wants to tell you he made a mistake breaking up with you, that he’s so sorry. He wants to ask that you’ll please forgive him.
Satoru wants to say he regrets his decision to call it quits. Wants to admit that he should have made more of an effort to make it work out and not have been so fucking weak. He wants to tell you that if you’re willing to give it another try he is, too.
That’s what he wants.
Because after everything, he still l–
“Satoru?” You repeat your question and Satoru realizes he’s let the silence hang in the air between you both for far too long.
“Oh, I jus–”
“Babe? Dinner’s ready. Do you want any wine with yours?” A deep voice cuts through the quiet and Satoru feels his heart drop hearing someone else call you by the name that was once meant for only his use. He hears soft shuffling and hushed whispers and a “sorry, I thought you were off the phone, babe. You were quiet–”
He can tell you’ve muted your phone. He can’t hear anything anymore. The looming silence makes Satoru want to hang up on you so he can swallow the bitterness he feels. So you had moved on, found someone else who gets to treat you the way Satoru should have. It’s fair. It’s been years since you two had broken up. You’d barely started speaking again. Of course you would find someone new. You were perfect and anyone would be an idiot to let you go. Much like Satoru was.
His thumb lingers over the end call button on his screen…and then you’re back just before he presses it.
“Sorry about that,” you breathe. “Anyway, did you need something, Satoru?”
“That your friend?” Satoru asks, ignoring your question completely. He can’t even pretend it’s not because he wants to know who the hell was calling you ‘babe’.
You clear your throat. “No, ah…that’s my boyfriend,” you finally tell him.
The silence falls over you again for a few seconds, Satoru trying to find his words. Again, it’s fair for you to date someone else. Satoru had ended things. He lost his right to be jealous when he did. And yet, against his better judgment, he leans into the bitterness he felt moments ago, forcing out a laugh. “Good! Oh, that’s good for you. Glad you found someone.”
“...Thanks?”
Satoru hums. “Yeah. I mean, glad we both moved on. I was actually worried when I was calling that you’d still be hung up on me or something.” He winces, but laughs awkwardly again. Knows he just shot himself in the foot. Maybe you’ll just laugh it off, take it as a bad joke.
“Yeah.” Your voice is clipped, short. “Okay, well, it was great catching up with you, Satoru. I have to go now.”
Fuck fuck fuck.
“Got it. Well, have fun at your din–”
The line goes dead.
Satoru tosses his phone to the side, throws himself back on his bed with a groan.
“Idiot.”
You don’t return any more of his calls or texts.
......
Present
Satoru’s feet carry him through the crowd, conversation drifting through the air. He can hear Utahime yelling at Suguru and Satoru resists the damn near instinctual urge to turn towards the screeching so he can join Suguru in whatever antics set her off. It’s always funny seeing how red her face gets. He also hears the sounds of Shoko’s airy laugh as she catches up with Nanami and Ijichi. An odd group, he thinks, but Satoru doesn’t have time to dwell on it because he hears the sweet sound of your laugh and–
Wait.
He stops in his tracks, the drink in his hand sloshing with the abrupt halt. He turns his head to peer over the crowd, but he doesn’t see anything, doesn’t see you. Maybe his mind is playing tricks on him. There’s no way you’d actually be here. You’re overseas. At least, he thinks you may be overseas. That’s the last thing he knew about you for certain. Satoru’s not sure what you’re up to these days. He hasn’t asked, afraid of what the answer will be. He’s not sure he could handle knowing you’re potentially engaged or happily married. Hell, he’s not sure he could handle knowing if you’re dating someone.
His piercing blue gaze finally lands on you and he realizes Haibara was actually not joking about someone potentially leaving with you tonight. Because you’re right there, off to the side of the crowd with some man, giggling at whatever he’s saying.
Satoru knows it’s you, even from a distance. He couldn’t mistake those beautiful eyes for anyone else's, the way they crinkle ever so slightly in the corners when you smile. He could never mistake those luscious, glossed lips he loved to kiss. You’re all smiles, as stunning as he remembers.
Everything keeps moving as time seems to stand still only for Satoru, his eyes never leaving you. And he knows he’s at this party with someone else. That’s what he should be focused on, but you’re all he cares about right now. His gaze locks onto your lips, following the curve of your smile, the way your tongue darts out just a bit to run along your bottom lip, the way those lips form your words.
You may still hate him after all this time, but Satoru wants to talk to you. He almost wants to get just close enough for you to notice him. Maybe you’ll make the first move and talk to him.
‘What the fuck am I doing?’ He thinks, lips pursed in concentration.
He should get back to his actual girlfriend. He’s been gone for too long. She’s bound to come looking for him if he doesn’t get back to her soon. Yeah, he’ll just go back. Talking to you won’t be good for him anyway –
The man you’re speaking to leans forward, his lips moving to your ear and Satoru, with his eyes still glued to your lips, feels his blood boil as he watches them part with what he’s pretty sure is a sigh. When he sees your hand come up to lay on the other man’s arm, his nostrils flare with irritation. When you smirk at what the man is whispering, he feels his jaw tighten. And when the other man’s hand comes to land on your waist, Satoru’s feet move before he even realizes what he’s doing.
As he approaches, the man steps away, a slick grin on his face and you roll your eyes, shaking your head and giggling. Are you actually flirting with this guy? It’s only as he gets closer that Satoru can better make out who it is; poorly done bleach job, shitty eyeliner around his eyes, and too many ear piercings. It’s just Naoya Zenin. From what Satoru remembers, you hated that fucker all of high school.
Unless something’s changed and suddenly you’re into him? Is this who you’re dating now?
Satoru wants to be pissed, but this may work in his favor. If you could be on good terms with Naoya, who you absolutely despised for as long as you’d known him, then maybe you had room in your heart to forgive him for being such a piece of shit to you all those years ago.
Your eyes drift over to Satoru as he approaches you both. And you hardly react, only offering him a small smile before your attention drifts back to Naoya. And though a tiny curve of your lips is something, the lack of a reaction kind of annoys the shit out of him.
“Hey,” Satoru greets, mainly directed towards you because fuck Naoya.
“Hi, Satoru.” You fold your arms over your chest, eyes coming back to meet his. God, you’re as pretty as Satoru remembers you being. This close to you, Satoru can see how much you’ve changed. And time has been very good to you. You’re still beautiful in the youthful way Satoru remembers, but you’re grown now. His eyes trail down your frame quickly, drinking in the way you’ve filled out.
“Gojo…” Naoya says with clear disdain in his voice.
“Zenin.”
And it’s quiet now. Awkward. But it doesn’t matter to Satoru. His eyes are only on you.
You pull your gaze away from Satoru and back to Naoya.
“You look great,” Satoru tells you, sipping the drink meant for his girlfriend to keep himself from potentially following up with something stupid. He grimaces slightly at the taste before trying to cover it with a lopsided grin.
And you give him the same grin back, a little shy. It’s cute.
“Thanks, Satoru. You look good, too.”
“I didn’t know you were back in town.”
“Yeah, I’ve been back for a few months now. Just settling back in and working,” your brows knit together as you lean to the side to glance around Satoru. “I’m surprised Suguru didn’t tell you since I just had lunch with him like two days ago.”
He realizes you must be looking for Suguru when you straighten your stance again. Deep in his mind, Satoru makes a mental note to have a word with Suguru about this later. Next to him, Naoya snorts and Satoru has to resist saying something that will surely end with them in a fight. You must sense the tension because you ask Naoya if he can grab you a drink which prompts an eye roll from him, but he goes anyway.
“Doubt he’ll be back,” you mutter to Satoru with a smirk. “That asshole wants to hook up so bad it’s pathetic,” a soft chuckle rushes past your lips.
“Not interested, then?” Satoru jokes, a smile spread across his face.
You narrow your eyes, “Ha ha. You know I hate that guy. He won’t be back anyway. No way he’s gonna waste time getting a drink for someone who isn’t fucking him at the end of the night.”
If you weren’t still watching Naoya push his way through the crowd of partygoers, you may have seen Satoru visibly deflate.
“Ah, good to know you haven’t lowered your standards,” Satoru says and you laugh. The sound makes Satoru’s head spin. It’s been so long since he’s heard it.
“I don’t think my standards could ever be low enough to fuck Naoya,” you clarify, nose crinkling in disgust. Satoru chuckles at your reaction, watching as you shift uncomfortably before him. You fidget with the hem of your dress before you speak again.
“It’s actually really good to see you, Satoru.”
“Is it really?”
“Yeah, I’ve been meaning to reach out for a while. Life just got away from me.”
Satoru’s brows lift in surprise. “Reach out for what?” Your eyes are boring into his, wide and surveying, peering into his soul. Just the way they always did.
“I just felt like things left off on such a sour note with us. And you reached out trying to build a friendship and at the first sign of things getting weird, I just…ran. Didn’t look back. You were trying and I wasn’t. You didn’t deserve that.”
He knows you’re referring to the last time you’d spoken, though he’s not sure why you’re the one trying to apologize.
“And I just wanted to say I’m sorry for being a terrible friend to you.”
You always were way too sweet to him. He didn’t deserve that.
“I should be apologizing to you,” Satoru shakes his head. “I was still jealous back then. When I said I was worried you were still hung up on me, it’s because I was trying to cover up the fact that I was still hung up on you. Hearing your boyfriend call you babe–”
“Ex-boyfriend,” you interrupt, a soft smile gracing your features. Satoru smirks.
“Hearing your ex-boyfriend call you babe, it just…made me feel a lot of things I didn’t understand at the time. I shouldn’t have said what I did to set you off. I’m sorry.”
It’s only been a few minutes of you talking and it already feels like a weight has been lifted, like the wall you put up all those years ago has come down. You both must look strange, just standing off in the corner alone staring and smiling at each other like you’re the only two people in the room.
You talk a bit more, catch up on life. It doesn’t take long for things to feel comfortable between you two again - for your bodies to move a little closer, for your eyes to meet more often, for your shy touches to linger a little longer.
You’ve got your hand wrapped around Satoru’s forearm, snickering at something he’s said. And when you glance up at him, there’s something in your eyes telling him it’s okay to ask this. Because Satoru is happy to know you’re not interested in Naoya, even happier to know you’ve broken up with your college boyfriend, but what he wants to know now is –
“Are you seeing anyone? Dating, I mean,” He asks while he still has the nerve and tries not to let his eyes fall to your mouth when you shake your head and draw your lower lip between your teeth.
“Nope, single and just enjoying life honestly. You?”
Yes.
“Me?” Satoru asks.
Say yes, stupid.
You nod. “Yeah, you. Are you with someone?”
Yes. Yes.
“Uhh, well…”
YES.
The voice in his head is screaming the answer, the one he knows he should give you. The one that would confirm to Satoru that even after everything he’s done, he’s not a shitty person, not a terrible boyfriend. But when he looks at you, eyes shining up at him with those pretty lips curled into a smirk, he doesn’t want anything more than to be with you.
God, he’s such a piece of shit. He knows it. He’s not even thinking about his girlfriend still sitting around waiting for him to come back. He’s got tunnel vision and the only thing he sees is you.
Say yes!
“I…am not…with someone.”
......
The door to Suguru’s master bathroom slams shut, your back pressed against it as Satoru’s lips find your neck, licking a long strip from your collarbone up to your chin.
“Ah- Toru, the door. Lock the door,” you gasp, threading your fingers into his soft tresses to pull him down for a kiss. His fingers fumble around before he finds the lock, quickly turning before he breaks the kiss to focus on your neck again, kissing and sucking, marking anywhere he can. Your hands move to glide underneath his shirt, fingers grazing over his defined muscles and you sigh just as Satoru moves away from your neck to press his lips against yours.
Soft. So soft. It’s been so long since Satoru’s had you like this. He’d forgotten your taste, your smell and right now, it feels like he can’t get enough. Fuck the liquor, he’s drunk on you.
“Can I touch you?” Satoru breathes against your mouth. And you nod, kissing him again. He groans as your lips part, tongue slipping out to glide against his lips, seeking entry. And he obliges, gives you all the access you want as your tongues tangle together. You moan into his mouth, the sound shooting straight to his cock.
The dress you’re wearing is nice, simple but fits your body beautifully. Satoru can’t wait to get underneath it. He reaches down, pulling the hem of your dress up until it’s sitting at your waist. He slips his hand into your panties, hissing when he feels how soaked you are.
“So wet for me,” Satoru whispers into the kiss. “You want me that bad, baby?”
You nod, panting hard. “Yeah, so bad, Satoru,” you moan when his fingers glide through your slick fold, back arching off the door. “Fuck, I want you so bad.”
“I’m yours, baby.”
His lips crash into yours again, fingers working tight circles against your clit. You cry out, your hands balling into fists as you cling to Satoru’s shirt. He breaks the kiss, pressing his face into your neck as one of his fingers finds your entrance, plunging in slowly. Your mouth opens with a gasp as Satoru pumps into you, curling his finger until he finds your sweet spot.
He pulls back, watches your face as he slips another finger inside. He likes the way your legs shake when he turns his fingers a certain way. And the way your back arches off the door when he presses his thumb to your clit. It’s all new to him, these reactions you’re giving. You were a lot younger when you’d first become intimate. Now, it’s clear you’re much more experienced. The thought bothers and excites Satoru.
He pulls his fingers from your core, kissing you when you poke your lip out in a pout. And then he’s bending you over the bathroom sink, pushing your dress even higher before he slips his fingers in the waistband of your panties and pulls them down.
“Fuck, I never thought I’d see you like this again,” he groans, palming himself through his pants.
“Toru, stop wasting time and fuck me, please.”
You’re a lot more demanding now too, apparently. He doesn’t mind.
“Did you miss me?” Satoru asks, because he’s dying to know. Did you think about him when you were with your boyfriend? Were you trying not to cry out Satoru’s name when you fucked him? Did you want him back as much as he wanted you?
Satoru unbuttons his jeans, pulls his pants and boxers down together, hissing as his cock springs free. He’s so fucking hard, he could cum just looking at you bent over the sink like this. But Satoru wants to savor you, wants to enjoy this moment of having you again for the first time in so long. He reaches over and pulls open one of the bathroom drawers, fishing around until he finds a condom and he mentally thanks Suguru for always being prepared.
“Tell me,” he demands, wrapping a hand around his length. He strokes himself lazily as he rips the condom open. He rolls the condom down his length, lining himself up with your entrance. “Did you miss me?”
You’re so patient, waiting quietly for Satoru. Although, he can hear your breathing becoming a little harsher in anticipation. Satoru moves behind you, lines himself up with your entrance and just before he’s about to roll his hips forward, he glances up to see his reflection in the mirror with you bent over and ready for him.
“Look at me,” he says. You look up, watching him through the reflection. Even in the dim lighting of the bathroom, Satoru can see your pupils blown wide with lust matching his own. He wants to see you, wants to see your face when you take him for the first time in so long.
“Look at me,” he tells you again.
“Okay,” you breathe.
“Tell me you missed me,” Satoru quietly demands as he pushes forward, sliding the tip through your folds and sinking in slowly.
“Fuuuuuuck,” your mouth falls slack with a moan. Satoru’s hands find your waist, holding your curves as he sinks into you. “I missed you, Toru. So much, so fucking much.”
“God, baby, you have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to hear you say that.”
He’s halfway in and he has to stop to catch his breath because hearing you moan his name like that…He may not make it all the way in without blowing his load right into the condom. You’re suffocating him, clenching onto his cock so hard he’s almost afraid to move.
“Satoru, please. Don’t stop,” you plead. He meets your gaze in the mirror again, sees the way your eyes burn with desire. Satoru pulls his hips back until only his tip sits inside you and then he rolls his hips forward, burying himself as deep in your cunt as he can.
Your walls clench down on his cock and he moans again before he starts to move, pounding into you at an unrelenting pace. You cry out his name and he keeps moving, not letting up.
Satoru brings a hand around your neck, holding your head in place so he can look at you through the mirror. He sinks into you, bending down to kiss along your neck, your shoulders, your back as he bottoms out again and again, moaning his pleasure against you.
Satoru thinks you feel like heaven. It’s the only thing he can think when he leans back and grips on to your waist again, watching your face contort in ecstasy. Every little sound you make, every moan, every sigh, every “right there” you utter brings Satoru closer and closer to his release.
Satoru has missed you. He’s missed the way your skin feels against his, missed the way your breath hitches in your throat when his cock hits just the right spot, missed touching and grabbing the soft curves of your beautiful body. Missed how your ass bounces with each thrust, cheeks spreading just enough to give him a glimpse of that tight little hole he’s never gotten the chance to have. And god, he hopes no one else has either.
More than anything though, he’s missed the way you take all of him, hug him tight like you never want to let him go. Fuck, he could live inside you and never get tired of it. The thought alone, the thought of having you all to himself again has him leaning forward, moaning into the space between your shoulders as he rocks his hips against you. The loud smacking noises of Satoru’s groin meeting your ass echo throughout the bathroom, and he doesn’t care who hears.
“Fuuuck, how are you so fucking tight, still?” Satoru groans, reminiscing on the first time he’d ever had you. An out of body experience for him, personally. Truly unforgettable.
“I’m never letting you go again,” he grunts, feeling your walls begin to flutter around him.
“Toru, I’m close,” you whimper. “So close, Toru, don’t stop.”
“Cum for me baby,” Satoru groans, hand sliding down your side to find your center again. He rubs tight circles on your clit, eyes rolling to the back of his head when he feels your pussy squeeze down on him as you cry out his name, your release crashing over you.
It’s so tight, so fucking tight Satoru thinks he might pass out. He can’t breathe, can’t think, can’t fucking see straight, you’re gripping him so hard.
“Ah- fuck, oh fuck! I’m gonna cum. Baby, I’m gonna cum,” he grits out as he pushes his cock all the way inside you, thrusting as deep as he can go as hot spurts of cum fill the condom. He leans forward, pressing his forehead against your back as you both catch your breath.
Satoru meant what he said. He never wants to let you go. He has every intention of being with you. After you’ve both come down from your highs and cleaned up, Satoru kisses you gently. He watches as you turn back to the mirror. You’re even more beautiful as you tame your messy hair, fix your makeup and adjust your dress.
“Do you wanna get out of here?” He asks, ready to make up for years worth of lost time.
Your eyes meet in the mirror, your lips tilting with a small smile. “Yeah, let’s go.”
......
Fingers laced, you and Satoru weave through the party together. The crowd seems to have thinned out now with how late it’s getting. It’s the perfect time to get out of here with you, take you home and –
“Satoru! There you are!” A familiar voice squeals. The sound makes Satoru quickly yank his hand from your grip. You stop in your tracks, brows furrowing as you look up at him.
“What’s the matter?” You ask just as this person you don’t know bounds up to him and wraps her arms around Satoru’s neck, pressing a sweet kiss to his cheek before she lets go.
And Satoru isn’t sure how he hasn’t noticed this before. It seems like some sick twist of fate that it’s only now that you’re standing next to each other that he sees how eerily similar you and his girlfriend look. It makes his stomach churn.
But his girlfriend, so drunk and so sweet, turns to you and beams as she holds out her hand to you. “Hi! I don’t think we’ve met before. I’m Satoru’s girlfriend…” His stomach nearly drops into his ass. “...you are?”
God, he wishes he could teleport out of here. Or that the ground would open wide and swallow him whole, bury him 8,000 meters beneath the earth. Anything to avoid being present at this moment. He peers down at you briefly, your hand extending to shake his girlfriends for only a second. And Satoru thinks he may be imagining it, the sheer anger he can feel radiating off of your body, even as you return his girlfriend’s sweet smile.
“Satoru’s girlfriend?” You ask and he knows you’re making sure you aren’t hearing things. Because not too long ago, he told you he wasn’t tied down to anyone. “I wasn’t aware he was dating anyone.”
“Yep! Been together almost a year now,” she brags cheerily. Satoru really wishes she’d shut up for once in her damn life.
You breathe out a bitter laugh, gazing up at Satoru and he knows he’s not imagining the rage. He can see it swimming in your eyes even as you reach up, your thumb gently swiping the corner of his mouth where apparently remnants of your lip gloss remained. You hold your finger up to show him and then hold it up to show his girlfriend who five seconds ago was too drunk to notice. She seems to have sobered up quickly now, eyes focused on the lip gloss you just wiped from Satoru’s face.
You introduce yourself to her, wiping your thumb off on your dress before continuing, “And I’m sorry to tell you this, but I’m the girl who just fucked your lying boyfriend in the bathroom.”
Satoru watches in ill disguised horror as you crane your next to the side, gesturing to the marks he so stupidly made along your neck in the heat of passion. His eyes find his girlfriend who stands there, mouth agape.
“Satoru told me he wasn’t seeing anyone. If I had known it wouldn’t have happened. And believe me, it won’t ever happen again.” You turn to face Satoru one last time, gritting out, “I can’t fucking believe you. After all these years, you’re still such a piece of shit, Satoru.”
You don’t wait for a response from him, turning on your heel and storming through the crowd. Satoru watches as your back retreats, not sure what the hell he’d say even if he did catch up to you. How could he explain that he lied about his girlfriend because he wanted to spend more time with you? It’s not like he planned on fucking in the bathroom, it just happened. But there was no way you were going to give him a second of your time to try and explain.
There was no coming back from this.
When he finally loses sight of you in the crowd, Satoru reluctantly brings his gaze back down to his probably soon to be ex-girlfriend and is met with a fury similar to yours. Again, the similarities are uncanny. All the love and happiness once shining in her eyes is nowhere to be found as one question hangs in the air between them.
“Satoru, what the fuck is she talking about?”
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/7eaaca2fbca1d5fda8f4a91d380d45e4/7fd8614f37b27154-87/s540x810/2c626918020aa2bedffdc8e15b1fdcd9c922d548.jpg)
AN: OOF, let me know what you think!
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How he talks to/about her v.s. How he talks to/about him
I'm back with more analysis' about JJPope and why it's better than anything either of them had with Kie.
Today I'm talking about JJ and how he speaks of and to them and why the difference in how he does it speaks VOLUMES.
JJ talking about Kie (S1): "Of course, I'm hitting on her. She's a super-hot, rich, hippie chick, slumming with us. Why? I can't figure it out either, but who cares, bro? I know that door's locked because I tried it. Have you?"
JJ talking about Pope(S2): "Ain't all that bad. Just look at the guy over there. He would do anything for us. That's a Pouge if I've ever seen one. Bone-deep. That's just one man's opinion, though."
THE DIFFERENCE.
JJ talking to/about Pope:
"For once in your life, trust someone else."
~~~
"You're the golden boy."
~~~
Topper: "Hey, I just wanna make sure everyone here is okay with ending up in federal prison."
JJ: "Uh, if it gets to that, yeah, I'll do it for Pope."
~~~
"I'm here for you, Pope. Welcome to my world, okay?"
~~~
JJ talking to/about Kie:
"And you--I mean, you're already rich as fuck anyway. Why would you bother?"
~~~
"Okay. Not all of us can afford unlimited data plans, Kiara."
~~~
"Hell of a job melting it down, Dr.Frankenstein."
~~~
(I don't need to put anymore as all of JJ's quotes for Kie are from the first half of S1 lol.)
As you can see, JJ speaks highly of Pope and lowly of Kie. He sees being a pouge as a badge of honor and gave Pope the highest honor. He sees Pope as someone he can relate too and shares a deep connection too.
He doesn't see that with Kie.
And I hear Jiara stans saying "What about S3? He was so worried about her and went back to get her!"
And to that, I say, "Yeah...cuz it's JJ."
His number one trait as a character is his loyalty. It's his best trait as it shows how much he will do for his friends. But also his worst trait as he puts his friends over his own being and in the end it only hurts him.
JJ would have reacted the same if it was anyone else in that situation.
Like when John B was a wanted criminal, JJ did anything for him. (risking to get arrested himself, shooting cops, and being by his side when he was on the run)
Or when Sarah is dealing with Ward or Rafe, JJ is always watching over her. (running after a car that held a drugged Sarah unconscious in the back, jumping in a shipping crate to get her and the cross back, staying by her side, and keeping an eye on her when John B was found guilty in court.)
And even Cleo who just joined the crew, JJ makes sure to treat her like the rest of the pouges. (like when he praised her for convincing Pope's parents to let him go to South America)
And we all know that he would do the same if not more for Pope. (going to jail for him, almost getting arrested for him again, taking over an entire boat of men to get his cross plus Sarah, risking being seen with him at Midsummers when he was supposed to be undercover, taking a beating from his dad for him, fighting for him at the outdoor movie, being super protective about him anytime he was around Limbrey and Renfield, keeping the secret that Pope was the one who actually sunk the boat and lying to the others, bringing Pope to his cousin Ricky's house to save his life even tho Ricky was still pissed at him for stealing his ambulance.)
And many, MANY, more.
The way we are introduced to JJ who loves and protects Pope but pushes Kie aside
versus
The way they "built up" S3 JJ for a toxic relationship with Kie but as a result of that he has to push Pope aside.
The writers and creators gave us s1 JJ, that's how his character was made and supposed to be portrayed. S3 JJ was built off toxic fans who threatened their way into an unfortunate canon ship.
Toxic stans = Toxic ship.
You Jiara stans wonder why JJ felt out of character, or why the Jiara chemistry felt forced or fake. That's because it was.
You can't force chemistry.
All the OBX cast did chemistry reads to see which duos worked together as a couple and which didn't. But the one duo that did not do a chemistry read was JJ and Kie (Rudy and Madi)
why?
because the creators saw no need. as they weren't even thinking of getting those two characters together. JJ was supposed to end up with Cleo. That was one of the many reasons Cleo came back as a main character.
What they would do with Kie and Pope, I don't know and I don't care. But Any ending would have been better than canon Jiara.
Anywaysssss
JJ treats Pope like he's his partner
and
JJ treats Kie like she's his sister
But let's be honest...we all see that, don't we?
Editor's note: Sry this took so long lol, life's been busy :)
#another jjpope analysis#jjpope#anti jiara#jj maybank#pope heyward#kie carrera#sarah cameron#john b routledge#obx cleo#outer banks#obx#outerbanks#outer banks jj#cleo obx
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Humans are the LATEST Space Orcs from the Earth
Okay, I've had this idea floating around in my head for a while now, and I have to get it out before it drives me up a wall.What if Death worlds like Earth aren't all that uncommon and do, in fact, produce complex life that leads to at least ONE space-faring civilization during it's Goldy-Locks phase (weather it's native or via colonization).
What if what makes Earth so relatively unique is the fact that Humans are only the LATEST over the past few billion-ish years?
Just think: Galactic Aeons measured not necessarily in Celestial, Galactic or Political events, but in the latest species from Earth reaching the stars? An event that happens with a relatively predictable timescale and with astounding regularity that the galaxy can set an approximately 100 million year (+/- 20 million year) Aeons for everything?
I mean, there's the whole Oslo Fission reactor (A naturally occurring nuclear reactor, currently thought to be the result of ironically precise, though naturally-occurring processes) that was active about 2 Billion YA; so what if that was merely the first species? Granted, those inhabitants came from another planet and had colonized the Earth's early shallow oceans (Along with the next several cultures), but they had genetically modified themselves to survive here.
Now, imagine what sets Human Kind apart from everyone else that came from the earth, is that we arrived about 20 million years early. Humans are roughly-everything that our predecessors estimated that we would be like, with a few surprises here and there (which is to be expected from the Earth). In fact, our arrival is so early and sudden, that it throws the entire galaxy into chaos!
I mean, we all know about the K-T extinction (which killed off the non-avian dinosaurs). So, what if a space-faring society was born of one of those lineages? What if the asteroid that crashed in the Yucatan was a space station built into the body of an asteroid (maybe an old mining colony turned space-port?) that was knocked out of it's orbit? It doesn't matter weather or not it was intentional, it happened, and they left the Earth as a consequence, and then stayed away because of Galactic Law?
Now, here comes the Humans. The latest children of the infamous Death World…and we're so early, that a few of the verifiable descendants of the non-avian dinosaurs are still around?
#Humans are Space Orcs#Earth is Space Australia#Earth is a Deathworld#I might expand on this later#Humans are space oddities
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Welcome to another round of W2 Tells You What You Should See, where W2 (me) tries to sell you (you) on something you should be watching. Today's choice: 致命游戏 / The Spirealm.
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The Spirealm is a 2024 drama about two young men who fall in love while basically playing a whole bunch of horror-themed escape rooms that can for-real kill you.
This show/book combo has gripped my entire ass. The second I knew I wanted to watch this, almost immediately after it started airing, I muted the tag. I was so right to do this, because this is worth not spoiling yourself about. If you are a Guardian fan in particular, you owe it to yourself to watch this for reasons I think will become clear as you go about watching it.
So! If all you need to know is that I think you need this show in your life, great! You don't even need to scroll down to the end of the post for the links; go to Viki and press play. In case you need more convincing than that, though, I'm going to give you here five reasons to watch it that are as spoilerless as I can make them.
Before we start, though, I'm going to take a moment to note that I had to torrent the video files so I could make screenshots of my own, and if I hadn't, this would have been a much uglier rec post than the others I've done. Not only were there not many promotional materials or official stills released, the show itself barely stayed up two hours on iQiyi, and that's because this drama is a...
1. (Barely) Censored Adaptation Of Same-sex Original Work
Ah, you know that MyDramaList tag well, don't you? Yeah, the original novel, Kaleidoscope of Death (which has a rec post of its own!), is supernatural story about grief and loss built on the love story between the two male leads. Now of course you know already that a mainstream Chinese television adaptation of something like that is going to straighten up everything and turn the horror romance into the sci-fi platonic love of besties.
...But damn, folks, it's still real gay.
Ling Jiushi, the sweet-faced newbie, is a canonical virgin and loving cat dad who plays the mysterious video game once, then finds himself suddenly able to enter the game worlds bodily -- and of course, if you die in the game, you die in real life. He's pretty much doomed, until he meets...
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Ruan Lanzhu, the cool-as-a-cucumber veteran of the door worlds, who falls pretty much immediately for the completely oblivious Ling Jiushi, then has to spend the rest of the series consumed with lust while trying to keep him and a couple other dipshits alive.
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The show preserves so many overtly gay beats and declarations of affection from the novel, to the point where it's just this side of suggesting that the romance is actually, textually happening just offscreen, every time the camera cuts away. I am forever grateful that working with Zhu Yilong on Reunion seems to have perfected sweet baby Junjie's ability to look at a man with nothing but love in his eyes.
I adore so much the dynamic they have, one where a man who has never told the truth a day in his life encounters a man so sincere and naive that you cannot seduce him with anything but absolute honesty or he's never going to get it.
There are three (3) separate door worlds where they share a bed, and in every one of them, they both sleep with their shoes on. Like the absolute freaks they both are.
2. It's puzzle solvin' time!
So if you've read some of my rec posts before, you know that I am critical of stories that center around cases that are unfollowable, uninteresting, or both (e.g., Mysterious Lotus Casebook and White Cat Legend). I am therefore thrilled to tell you that the door worlds are actually (largely) thoughtful mysteries with reasonable solutions, where you care about what's happening and why.
The way each door world is set up is that you have to solve the puzzle to find a key and unlock the door that will let you leave. One of the challenges is each world's door ghost, who has the key and does not want to give it up. The other challenge is the world-specific set of taboo conditions, where violating them means the door ghost can kill you -- and you are not always told what those taboo conditions are. That means that solving a door involves 1) figuring out what will insta-kill you, 2) not doing that, 3) finding where the hell the exit door is, 4) placating and/or scamming the door ghost long enough to snatch the key from them, and 5) running like hell to the exit door with that key before the door ghost fucks you up about it.
As the show goes on, you get introduced to the concept of door-passing shepherds, which are experienced door-finishers who take through lower-level players, building them up in the process. A lot of these shepherds work for organizations, such as the one Ruan Lanzhu runs. And a lot of them are ready to reach the exit by climbing over everyone else's corpses.
That's part of the fun of the setup: You're not just thrown in alone. You show up with a random number of other players, some with very different levels of experience. At least one of you will make it out; not everyone will. So you can add a step 6) to the list above, which is: surviving all the other players who will gleefully stab you in the back in order to be the first player out the door.
The door worlds are also lovely. They all feel like sets -- and I know that's a weird thing to say about places that are literal sets, but they manage it feel it even on film. In fact, even the show's uses of clunky-ass greenscreen feel appropriate, because of how unreal everything is supposed to be. Everything looks like a dream, which is only amplified by how beautifully everything's shot.
(What's that you say? You say the guy who directed this was the editor on Infernal Affairs? No kidding.)
From a fandom perspective, what's great here is that even though there are technically just twelve doors, there are canonically way more than twelve door worlds out there. That means that whatever worlds you want to create are valid. The best pieces of fanfic I've read are the ones that dream up their own door worlds, complete with taboo conditions, key puzzles, and world-specific perks that lead to gay sex, because come on.
3. A good middle ground of horror
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So at this point you are perhaps wondering: How scary is it?
And the answer is, kind of as scary as you're willing to let your mind go with it. Everything has been science-fictioned real hard, including the video game premise that "explains" what's happening with these doors. It relies on dread way more than jumpscares. The blood/gore/gross content is extremely low, again on account of Chinese content censorship. Most icky things are done with offscreen sounds and shadows. I'm pretty squeamish about pain and injury, and I can't recall a time I had to look too long away from the screen.
However, that means the show works some real conceptual horror. That picture up there is of a man forcing three young girls to hold raw eggs unbroken in their mouths. There's nothing about that image that's not technically G-rated, and it's awful in context.
The best bits are when the monsters don't need a lick of CG to become horrors. They cast a contortionist in the Waverly Hills door world, and she absolutely earned her keep.
I have a lot of critiques about how the show handles things, especially in terms of defanging the horror elements (which it does), but one thing I think it absolutely gets right is that it understands that ghost stories are first and foremost tragedies. That's a thing I've always liked about Asian horror in particular, how often you wind up siding with the ghost. Yes, sure, she tried to strangle you with her hair, but have you ever considered she's the real victim here? There's always a bit of a calculus: Can you negotiate with the door ghost, or do you just need to stab them and run? The Spirealm prefers negotiation, and frankly, so do I.
So yeah, it's about as scary as you let it be. If your horror tolerance is low, watch it in a well-lit room and focus on the unreality of it, and you'll be okay. If you're looking for something genuinely spooky, spend some time thinking about the existential dread of the entire situation, and that'll be good for a couple good spine tingles.
4. The Obsidian Family (& Friends!)
In a show where death is always an option, you have to have characters where you actually care if they live or die. Fortunately, all your allies are charming and loveable enough that you are going to be real upset every time they get put in danger!
Obsidian is one of the organizations I mentioned earlier. It's run by Ruan Lanzhu, and it includes a cool and collected doctor, a mom friend who cooks for everybody, a guy who's maybe not having the best mental health day of his life, and two identical twins who could not be more different if they tried. They all live in the same amazing big fancy house, which is where Ling Jiushi too goes to live when he joins the group. They have big family meals, they look after one another, they hang out together -- I mean, if this is the kind of setup you love, then you will love this setup.
There are also plenty of allies who aren't technically part of Obsidian, but who are our friends nonetheless, and who come over to hang out in the Obsidian house from time to time. Some of them are rivals turned friends, some of them are clients turned friends, and some of them were just friends all along! Surely nothing bad will happen to any of them, and they'll all live happily ever after, right? ...Right?
5. Toast and Chestnut!
Of course, the true heroes of the show are Toast the Corgi and Chestnut the Kitty.
Animals are so good.
Truly, I love that one of Ling Jiushi's defining characteristics is that he is a Cat Dad. He is a simple man with simple needs, and one of those needs is to pet his kitty or he'll explode.
caveat: Some thoroughly bad adaptation choices
Yeah, so I keep talking about the novel (and talk even more about the novel in its own rec post), but I assure you, you don't need to have read the novel to feel the degree to which this is an adaptation -- and one that's had its rough, nasty, spooky, gay edges all sanded off in the desperate hope of ever seeing daylight.
Now, sometimes I consider batshit nonsense janky creative decisions to be a selling point for a show (see: Mysterious Lotus Casebook, Legend of Fei, Sand Sea)! In this case, however, I'm going to have to take points off for how incoherently bad they are here. We're talking Psych-Hunter levels of Why Would You Do That-- and the answer, as always, comes down to how you write around what censorship won't allow on television.
The novel says the doors are supernatural. The show says they're a virtual-reality computer game. Now, on the surface, this move sort of makes sense -- you can't have ghosts, but you can have computer games that make digital ghosts, which, sure, okay. But then the problem quickly becomes that the plot of the novel is not remotely built to support a sci-fi premise, so a lot of things have to be grafted awkwardly on. Like, say, a bad guy who stole his corporate logo from Even Worse Twitter. Or a game-designing bestie whose face is never seen. Or [late-stage spoilers about a major character].
The eventual explanation is that this whole setup is a righteous and good game that has somehow been corrupted by evil game-designing capitalists from the West, and that's why it can abduct you in broad daylight and kill you if you fail it. There are good people who want to purify (???) the game, and evil people who want to make money off the game. And I don't mind spoiling you for that part, because it's garbage nonsense. You will be deeply unsatisfied with the show's half-assed attempt at resolving it all. (You may, however, have that disappointment tempered with the amazing concurrent display of heterosexuality that is apologizing to your best bro by coding his perfect man for him. The Spirealm is a land of contrasts.)
Look, I consider myself a mild to moderate socialist, and even I was yawning and making jerk-off motions every time someone started to wax halfheartedly poetic about how evil American capitalism is. Like, yeah, but not because some college student made a vile and wretched video game that eats people! This show is a critique of capitalism like a five-year-old crying because he doesn't get ice cream before bed is a critique of authoritarianism.
And even this, I can't be too mad at it about, you know? I just assume that this was some absolute Hail Mary attempt at getting past censorship -- you know, maybe if we make all the right "grr, USA bad!" noises, they'll let our gay ghost story slip by? And it worked! I mean, just barely, but it did.
So yeah, fair warning that the Spirealm is a show that, if you love it (and I do), you will have to love despite some glaring flaws that haunt it all the way through and hit especially hard during what should otherwise have been an amazing endgame. But hey, we're c-drama fans! We're good at loving janky things, right?
Want to enter the World of Doors?
As I said at the start of the post, Viki's got it -- and only Viki. I'm not sure what circumstances got it up on Viki after iQiyi pulled it, but I'm glad. Watch it quick, before Viki changes its mind!
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Hug him! Hug that boy!
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