#which i'm assuming is par for the course

[b-blushes]

imagine this is a fully formed thought but like. stress/anxiety setting off physical conditions so you are effectively Extra Ill any time any 'event' happens or will be happening. feels bad. baseline disability plus extra style 'oh no i'm worse'? especially when i already need things to be different and special for me (disability accommodations) and now there is another layer. i would really love to be active and involved in hosting or like. contributing anything except literally my sparse presence and yet. basically all i can do to stay upright and cared for by myself and even that is precarious 😅 feels bad!

BUT we stay silly.

[merinelsa]

.

[lost-in-lamentation]

a nod back to this post by @fayendere.

a/n: i can't even call this a real fic so idk drabble one shot rrrhaahdsndakdjsjs either way. btw op i know i'm so sorry i'm like ages late but still, i had to deliver something.

content: ticklish lucifer! silly little fluffy moments. open ending take it how you like teehee haha

lucifer × gen!reader (you/your).

you notice it for the first time when your hand curls around the small of lucifer's waist, a gentle touch tracing his side as you sneak behind him to get to the doorway of the kitchen. lucifer's composure cracks, a small gasp echoing in the silence as he stiffens for a split second. you shoot him a glance, head tilted in feigned obliviousness. "did something happen?"

lucifer all but relaxes his body. with a sigh, he returns to the task at hand, slowly convincing himself that the tips of his ears are not as red as they feel. "you must be imagining things," he finally says, refusing to make eye contact. "go and fetch my brothers; i'll be finished in a minute. "

the second time you notice, lucifer is sitting as his desk with you standing at his side. the eldest makes a simple comment about how the room is rather hot, and you take it as a cue to reach for his coat. your hands find themselves at the base of his neck, sliding underneath the coat to pull off the fabric. but as you continue your movements, lucifer can't help but tuck himself inwards, shoulders shrugging up to prevent your fingers from brushing against his neck. once again, you fake your innocent expression, folding his coat in your arms as you ask, "did i startle you?"

he burns with embarrassment, but manages to swallow the tremble in his voice as he steels himself to look up at you. "yes, i will admit, you caught me off guard. please do not act so abruptly without a warning."

you can barely stifle your own laughter, giving him a determined nod in response instead. and just like the first time, lucifer echoes another sigh into his hands.

"MC, you really ought to turn in for the night. You have early RAD classes in the morning."

from your spot on the couch, you turn to look over your shoulder, watching while lucifer rounds the corner to sit next to you. "and when have early RAD classes ever stopped me?"

a gentle laughter sounds across the room, filling the space with warmth and adoration. at your side, lucifer fiddles with the cuffs of his pajama sleeves, rolling them up before leaning back onto the cushions. "i suppose there's nothing wrong with it, assuming that you'll make sure you make it on time."

"of course i will. i'm a model student, you know." you counter his laugh with your own, scooting over to slot yourself at his side. "oh, by the way, would you be willing to help me figure something out?"

lucifer raises a wary eyebrow at you, first glancing at the clock before coming back to look. "so late at night?"

"it won't take long, promise."

there's a hint of amusement flickering in his eyes, embers sparking in the reflection of his gaze. "i suppose it can't hurt. is it for your assignment?"

"it's... personal research." you slowly flip the cover of your book closed, placing it to the side as you turn your shoulders to face the demon next to you. "i've been wondering if you're as ticklish as i think you are."

"i beg your par-!" you jab him quickly in the side, hitting the soft spot above his waist that you know makes him jump. red blooms across his cheeks, the shade nearly rivaling the colour of his irises. despite lucifer's desire not to, a yelp escapes from him, which in turn cause you to laugh harder than you thought possible.

barely able to contain yourself, you fall back onto the armrests, laughing even louder when you see the expression on lucifer's face. "i think," you wheeze out while trying to catch your breath, "i think i've done enough research."

on the other side of the couch, lucifer grits his teeth, a hand hovering protectively over where you had poked him. "MC," he begins quietly, his other hand moving to capture your arm in his grasp. "if you'd be so kind, i have a few personal questions about where humans feel the most... sensitive, as well."

a/n: back in my writing era (ignoring my responsibilities)

reblogs and comments/tags are really appreciated (´ω｀) ♡

[writingwithcolor]

Any advice for handling race in reincarnation situations?

@swamp-spirit asked:

I'm writing a story that includes characters being reincarnated with completely different appearances. It's a fantasy world, and most of the characters are being reborn in the same region, but I still want a range of skin tones and features in the main cast (this is a comic). I have weird feelings about a character being 'reborn' with notably lighter or darker skin, but it also feels implausible and lazy for people to Just Happen to have a similar appearance when the theology of the story doesn't support it. Characters being reborn, and taking out things specific to real life groups, what are the major things you'd want an author to read up on or take into account? (Note: there is not a 'white' looking ethnic group in this story)

I don’t think it’s a problem as long as the skin tones don’t have any correlation to the circumstances that they’re reincarnated into.

- SK

It’s an interesting question, because in most religions where reincarnation/ transmigration of the soul is a feature of “what happens after death”, remembering one’s past life is not really part of the package deal. From what you’ve written, it’s not clear to me where the “memory” of these characters’ lives are held. Is there a 3rd person omniscient narrator telling the audience who each person is in their next life or do the characters themselves retain memory of past lives?

Assuming this is your typical reincarnation scenario where characters retain no memory of previous lives, it doesn’t much matter. The next life is the next life. Who a person was in their previous life and that identity, in theory, means nothing to them. This also means whatever personality, values, experiences and so on they had in their previous life no longer has meaning. They are, in effect, another person. However, you say you feel awkward about the above which makes me wonder if characters are remembering past lives, in which case…

If you study pretty much any major Asian religion where reincarnation is a part of the belief system, having no memory of the previous life is par for the course. In present-day religions like Jainism, Sikhism, Hinduism and Buddhism, only “special” (I’m using the term very casually here) entities like bodhisattvas, guru, arihant, buddhas, etc. usually get to keep their memories, while the rest of us (literal) mere mortals are supposed to lose our memories between lives as a part of Samsara. In Hinduism, even the gods often forget their previous lives, unless their reincarnation had a targeted purpose (Like being born to defeat an evil entity). 

For most people, it is only through prayer, devotion, meditation and accumulated virtuous/ good/ compassionate deeds that humans are thought to deepen their understanding of the nature of the universe, and thus have the capacity to remember past lives (I’m, again, paraphrasing very loosely here from several years worth of university history+religion courses).  

This is why the isekai genre in Japan is largely regarded as a “cheat”/ parody genre of fantasy. The protagonist, according to common Japanese cultural beliefs, which are quite heavily grounded in Buddhism, is definitively “cheating.” Not to get too ironically biblical, the character’s success often comes from the forbidden knowledge borne of their previous life. 

Thus, there are two ways I look at your characters’ predicaments: 

It’s not technically reincarnation - not by the way most major world religions define reincarnation, anyway. You have people who died now inhabiting other bodies, but that’s not the same as the transmigration of the soul. Also, you want to delve into the weirdness (and maybe heaviness) of “Wow, I went to sleep with one face and woke up with another.” There are certainly stories about people who have had dramatic cosmetic plastic surgery, weight loss surgery, HRT, etc. and then experienced the difference in the “before” versus “after” of how their altered physical appearance makes them feel, as well as how other people treat them. Even if the community your characters are born into now differs from their previous community (Which I guess would make this more a “I traveled between dimensions, and my appearance altered in the process” sci-fi adjacent affair), their new life will still have social environments with differing attitudes towards human physical appearance that will affect your characters’ emotional states. 

Isekai it up and play with the ridiculous contradiction of having past lives and differing memories of one’s appearance. Isekai manga, manhwa and webtoons all make use of this trope heavily, especially with protagonists who experience a “glow-up” (Ex. Going from a Plain Jane OL to beautiful fantasy heroine) or, by contrast, protagonists who end up in very different forms from their original lives (Tensura, I’m a Spider, So What?). I’d be creative and go even more granular. Being able to tan after a lifetime of getting sunburns or no longer needing glasses might be nice, but what if the new body lacks the enzymes to process dairy or alcohol? What about dealing with differences in hair texture? Skincare routines? What about living life as a very tall person after being quite short or vice versa? What if you bumped into an acquaintance from your previous life, and one of you clearly got a more “coveted” reincarnation?  See how far of an extreme you can take this idea until it feels too uncomfortable or ridiculous. 

Marika.

[masterrainbowcat]

you keep calling me stupid but on several occassions you have misunderstood what was being written, like most semi-literate weebs you reading comprehension is below par. this isn't about him 'insulting books', you moron. dora was calling other people stupid and uninformed saying that there are ENTIRE BOOKS that proved him right. when asked in a friendly manner by me and someone else which books he was referring to he just ignored us. when i pressed him he came out w/ ad hominem attacks instead of titles and authors. he "couldn't remember" as it had been 5 years already since he'd read them. THERE ARE NO SERIOUS BOOKS THAT CLAIM FASCISM IS A LEFTWING IDEOLOGY. look it up, fool. this is a guy who made several hours worth of videos on youtube whining about how people on tumblr should learn to think critically and that their opinions lack nuance while continually posting lies and reactionary shit takes. when called out on other things by other people the pattern repeats. "i'm more literate than you" he told the chatbot account, and "i've read marx". fucking lying poser. so, maybe now you can understand why i don't have any qualms about making him my lolcow. hope this wasn't too much text for you to process otaku, have fun jerking off to cartoon girls.

So for context, this gent has been harassing @yourtoradorasextendedwarranty for months now, and this is his explanation for why. I assumed it was something to do with Tora insulting books Babi liked, since Babi has thimble-dick opinions on other mediums, but somehow Babi wrote this whole thing and didn’t think for a second that it was more embarrassing than what I assumed. “An argument didn’t go well so I’m gonna be a schoolyard bully.” That’s how you know he’s a man of character.

The reason you wouldn’t have seen these exchanges is because Babi spends most of his time spamming replies so that people can’t make fun of him as easily. Of course, considering one of the few times Babi did reblog, he admitted he didn’t graduate high school and uses AI in arguments, I can see why he’d want to avoid embarrassing himself to whatever followers he has. I suspect he also has a side blog where he LARPs as a fact checker that uses AI to write posts, but I can’t verify that beyond Tora being a target of that blog as well.

Babi also has a hate boner for anime, which with previous evidence suggests he is perpetually stuck in high school. Though I did get a chuckle out of his ad hominem about me “jacking it to cartoon girls”. Yeah, THAT’S the vibe my blog gives off.

But anyway, this is a man who:

* happily admits to harassing people like a bully

* has a weird reverence for AI and is proud to use it

* hides in the replies and potentially side blogs because he lacks the confidence to have his material show on his blog most of the time

and yet:

* is desperate to convince people his ideology is the right, good, and smart one

It’s the epitome of a comedy of errors.

[sleepymccoy]

Okay so something happened in the trekdom (is that a term anyone has ever used)

I think spirk got canonised?? Or something?? And I assume that as my certified Trekkie Mutual you feel some kinda way about this. you’re a Spones shipper but still how we doing?

I'm sure someone's used trekdom! It makes sense as a word regardless

I appreciate the Trekkie certification lol

Yeah dude, look. Most of the fandom is big into spirk so like people enjoying that romance is par for the course! I got nothing against spirk, it's just a bit of a boring dynamic so I don't really spend time on it. Too healthy for my tastes. Spones is way more juicy, it's got the tension and the sort of different world views that you see in good omens, so it's fun!

To be clear tho, spirk is as canon as it's ever been. Strong subtext, but in the way that a homophobe could watch it and say well they're just good friends. Nothing has changed in that sense, it's just another bit of footage doing more of the same. It's less gay than a lot of the original series, but it's new and shiny so on a surface level i get the excitement

Shatner, who plays Kirk, has done this as a non canon short film. It's apparently considered as canon as the novels? Which is like, not much. Most people don't engage. I haven't really looked into that, im not gonna watch it cos it kind of pisses me off

The thing that really fucks my goat about it is that the guy who plays Spock died a while ago, and didn't get along with the guy who plays Kirk. But the guy who plays Kirk has funded and produced and managed this whole thing to be about his character and his importance, regardless of the wishes of the original Spock actor. Including literally doing someone up in prosthetics to look more like Nimoy. Not just Spock generally, but specifically Nimoy's Spock. Nimoy was involved in star trek films in his late life, and he didn't choose to do this when he was alive. Only after his death has Shatner forced this to happen

That's what's leaving a really bad taste in my mouth. And I feel like people are either not accepting Nimoy's death and are happy to see him puppeted by someone he disliked, which makes me pity them. I work in aged care so I know I'm more comfortable with death than the average, but like. This is a bit fucking dark, no? It's maudlin, let him rest in peace for fucks sake.

That, or they don't mind the manipulation of his image if it tickles their ship, which makes me dislike them. And I don't think I'll really get over that any time soon, it's so disrespectful. And those are both negative feelings, so I'm kind of generally not pleased about my dash rn

I'm trying to take an angle of being about McCoy cos he doesn't feature in the short and that feels wrong. Spock-centric stuff is feeling a little tainted right now, but I'm sure that'll pass. Fanart is different to this kind of image stealing, but it's still weird for me rn. And as much as I love Kirk, I can't remove him from Shatner and his megalomania right now. I hope that'll pass, but I don't think Shatner's gonna stop here so. Hm.

Besides I like McCoy and he's not complicated by all this so I'm just continuing to play in my little sandbox

It's a weird time for trekdom. There's a bit of a rift, and not down shipping lines. I'm seeing a lot of posts working through their complicated feeling around the disrespect inherent in stealing Nimoy's face for Shatner. And I'm seeing other people celebrate the disrespect cos their ship held hands and that makes it worth it.

I'm hoping people overwhelmingly calm down a bit in a week, get a bit embarassed about how pleased they were over something so gross, and it just sort of goes away. Then we can all go back to having a go at Shatner for his constant sexism and homophobia

At least it's not fucking AI tho!

[loganelfreeces]

Shishitoren's Founder: The Silly to Saviour's Serious?

Hey guys, remember when I made that post a while ago about some theories I had about who Umemiya's Saviour is and the kind of person he is and how he'll come back? And how I mentioned he and Shitara know a third person who I have cleverly dubbed the Silly to Saviour's Serious?

We only know three things about this person

They inspired Saviour

They wanted to get stronger by going to Furin

They know Shitara and Saviour due to a Furin connection

So my braincells slammed together and suggested that the Silly to Saviour's Serious guy could in fact be one of Shishitoren's founders or at least one of the main inspirations behind their philosophy. I have no idea if I'm making sense, I'm writing this at 2am and I could be clutching at straws here, but let's roll with it.

Shishitoren's Unclear Origins

Now I bring this up because of the main gangs who have turned up so far, Shishitoren are the only ones with unclear origins.

Umemiya united Furin into Bofurin 2 years ago. KEEL sprung up recently under Endo's funding and then disintegrated. Roppo-Ichiza have been running for a while, protecting the Red Light District and fighting with Furin before Bofurin happened. Gravel sprung up recently out of despiration to provide the impovished people in town with an income. Noroshi are an elite force who left Furin, but have enough connections to muster an army of mooks.

Shishitoren are the only ones we do not know the true origins of. Despite this, we still have a very strong picture of what their philosophy was before Tomiyama and Togame twisted it.

Shishitoren are the Devotees of Power. This means you must persevere, no matter what. You need to push your will through in a fight and never yield to anyone else. You push yourself because strength is the only way you can attain freedom.

The Person Behind The Philosophy

Now, assuming that only one person directly founded Shishitoren and their philosophy, we can then make a few assumptions about this person.

This is a person who has faced immense hardships to get to where they are now, presumably the top of Shishitoren when they created this philosophy.

And given the way Saviour talks about how life won't stop hitting you with tough stuff again and again, I imagine Saviour has had both first hand experience of enduring these difficulties and that Someone Else showed him that there is a way to live through the hardest times.

There's also the fact that strength allows one to become free. While Tomiyama had no idea what this meant, Sakura and Togame do; only those with power are free to be themselves.

Which suggests that Shishitoren's Founder, whoever it was, came from a very restrictive environment that stopped them from being themself.

Then there's the idea of fighting being a means of pushing your will through. I think Shishitoren's Founder understood something that Umemiya taught us near the start of the manga: A fight is a conversation. A fight is a way to push your will through.

Which means that Shishitoren's Founder, if they did come from a restrictive environment, escaped it by becoming strong enough emotionally and physically to push themself through life and let their personality be free.

Potential Connections?

Bringing all these details back to the Silly to Saviour's Serious guy, I think it's very telling that the first main thing we know about this person is that they wanted to get stronger.

Like, on the one hand, of course Silly would be strong if they're on par with Saviour, but that is very much a given in this manga that anyone important to the plot is strong. And most of our other characters who are strong don't get introduced or mentioned with that as their tag line; Suo cracks a joke, Kiryu is chilling with his phone, Umemiya is a airheaded goofball. Why would Nii Satoru focus on Silly's desire to get stronger above anything else?

It's also unclear if Shishitoren, the Devotees of Power, were active when Umemiya was 9. However Saviour does tell us that new teams and gangs sprung up all the time at this stage of Furin's history, so it would make sense if Shishitoren and maybe even Roppo-Ichiza started to find their footing during this period of upheaval.

I think it's also important to note that Hiragi says Tomiyama, who is 17, is the youngest leader in Shishitoren's history who took the top spot some time after Choji's 15th birthday (since he wasn't the leader when he fought Umemiya in his first year). This of course implies that Shishitoren have been around long enough to have multiple leaders and that most of them were not high school aged at this time. Given that Saviour is probably 26 or 27 now, this could mean one of two things:

Shishitoren's Founder is the same age as him, but founded Shishitoren after high school. The latest they could have possibly done this was when they were 24 or 25, but I highly doubt that since they would've been that old when Tomiyama and Umemiya were fighting each other for the first time and Shishitoren seemed to have been better established than the other teams Bofurin had fought before. Though the earliest I would put it at is when Shishitoren's Founder was 20, which again if they're the same age as Saviour, Umemiya and Tomiyama would've been 11. Plenty of time for Shishitoren to get established.

Shishitoren's Founder is older than Saviour and founded Shishitoren after high school. If they are the Silly to Saviour's Serious, then this means they could have played more of a mentor role like the one we see with Hiragi and Kaji, rather than a peer to peer relationship I had initially imagined. Though this makes a lot more sense for how Saviour handled Umemiya's suicidal idealiation if Silly helped Saviour in a mentor role rather than a friendship role. It could also suggest that Silly wasn't loyal to Furin, and potentially neither was Saviour; they just went there to get stronger.

Where is Shishitoren's Founder Now?

Obviously at some point Shishitoren's Founder/Silly to Saviour's Serious and Umemiya's Saviour left Makochi and their respective teams. So where are they now?

Shishitoren's Founder could have left Makochi in search of stronger opponants, or to enjoy that freedom they fought so hard to gain in the first place. I don't think they're still in Makochi since they would have stepped in if they found out that Shishitoren had rotted from the inside out. OR maybe they are still in Makochi but they either no longer care about Shishitoren itself or they don't care about being strong anymore. Either one is possible, though I think them not being in Makochi is much more likely.

I think they may end up returning if Shishitoren have another trouble arc. Not one where Tomiyama or Togame have fallen on the wrong path again, but if Shishitoren are at risk of being destroyed or overwhelmed. After all, changing Shishitoren from the inside after letting it get so bad couldn't have been easy for Tomiyama and Togame. It's possible some former Shishitoren guys saw the return to the old ways as a bad thing and formed their own team to retaliate. We know from flashbacks that Shishitoren often had trouble with a group called Zinc when Tomiyama and Togame were still new to the team, so it's possible Zinc could turn out to be a problem later on if the disgrunted Shishitoren members joined them.

Shishitoren's Founder might just happen to be coming back to Makochi when the fight is about to go down, OR Shishitoren's Founder is the one leading the charge against the current Shishitoren with their own new gang. If that's the case, then this could be Sakura and the other Furin guys' chance to return the help that Shishitoren gave them in the Noroshi arc.

OR if my theories are correct and Shishitoren's Founder is the person that Shitara and Saviour were talking about, I think he and Saviour will show up closer to Umemiya's graduation. That is scheduled to happen in March and we're only in July right now timeline wise, so we have a long way to go before we get there.

If all 3 of them become more relevant during the lead up to Umemiya's graduation, then this means the three could offer different paths for Umemiya to take:

Shitara's Path: Stay in Makochi and care for the local kids as either an orphanage worker or a Furin teacher.

Saviour's Path: Recognise when other people are better equipped at a job and leave them to it.

Founder's Path: Live free of responsibilities and leave Makochi to get stronger from here on out.

Also I bet y'all money that Shishitoren's Founder has birds or lions somewhere in their name. It'd make sense since (at least in the Western world I'm not so sure about Japan) birds are a symbol of freedom. Or maybe Shishitoren's Founder actually has a different kanji for dog in their name, since Sakura called their emblam an ugly dog the first time he saw it.

Who knows, maybe Shishitoren's Founder is related to Inugami.

So yeah that is my 2am frantic thoughts about Shishitoren's past. I'm so looking forward to discovering more about the worldbuilding and what happend to make the town the way it is now.

[idesofrevolution]

Party Animal

Danny smiled his signature perfect smile, posing stereotypically as the phone sat propped up on a sidewalk trashcan with a timed camera counting down. While it was his 21st birthday, and he'd invited nearly twenty people to come out clubbing with him in New York City, he wasn't entirely shocked when everyone had some lame excuse as to why they couldn't come. Victoria was in the middle of watching Yellowjackets and couldn't be bothered to get up off her couch. Taylor was stuck at the airport in Nashville, unable to board his connecting flight due to "inclement weather." Felicity couldn't find a dog sitter for the night (bullshit), and Kyle just didn't even respond to the text. This was relatively par for the course for poor Danny, who'd gotten all but used to the feeling of his "friends" ditching him when it was plans of his own.

There were absolutely reasons in their mind as to why going out with Danny was less than an ideal evening: he was a wallflower. Sure, like everyone else in his small town, he had a fake ID. So one would assume that his relative experience in bars would at least teach him something about how to have a good time in one. Unfortunately, this was certainly not the case. Danny was the friend who would get to the bar, order two Long Islands and drunkenly cry for the rest of the night. He couldn't hold his liquor, he couldn't hit a joint without having a fifteen minute coughing spell, his moves on the dancefloor were generously described as "cringe," he would leave early and complain about it the next day. Yet, without fail, the next weekend would roll about and he would be the first one in line at open. His messy party ways had completely eradicated any chance of an entourage going with him, even on his birthday. Thus, as he posed rather stereotypically on the side of West 17th Street, alone and underdressed for his first gay nightclub of legal age, there was a level of disappointment.

Chelsea was bustling that evening, with stunning people in outrageously skimpy outfits strutting from building to building. All were in their little cliques huddles together until they made it to the doorman, where they'd quickly disperse into the drunken crowd within. Guys like him were the ones standing in line, waiting for someone to leave so they could have a chance of getting in; wallflowers, all of them. Thus, as he finally arrived at the club he'd heard so much about on every gay travel blog imaginable, he wasn't shocked to receive a quick look up and down from the bouncer and a head shaking no. Dejected, alone, and not even buzzed, Danny pulled out his phone to call the Uber back to his hotel. That is, until he felt a subtle tap on his shoulder. He sighed and turned around, locking eyes with an unexpected but very welcome sight.

He was tall, maybe 6'4 in a cutoff white tank top, a golden chain hanging from just beneath his nipples. His abs sat like the cobblestones on the street against his chiseled torso, flanked on either side by two huge, vascular arms. His fly was undone, with his thumbs suggestively holding it open. He had a gentle, yet sultry face: perfectly manicured facial hair and sweaty, wavy curls atop his head. He smiled as he leaned against the wall, illuminated brightly by the streetlight above them both.

"Baby you're not gettin' in looking like that." He had a thick accent, perhaps Cuban or Dominican, but it rolled off his supple lips like the drool which had begun to slightly dribble down Danny's jaw. The man smiled and ruffled his hair, getting ready to walk back into the club.

"Hey! Uh... I really like your outfit. You wear it really... really well." The stud turned back, a small chuckle under his breath.

"Thank you baby! I wasn't sure about the chain, but it draws attention to all the right places, am I right?" He ran his large hands over his abs, winking at the salivating 21 year old. "I'm Mateo, by the way." The two shook hands, Danny barely able to contain himself.

"So, you come out to these clubs often? It's my first time in the city. My twenty first birthday, actually." Mateo's face lit up. Tossing his arm around Danny's shoulder, he leaned in close to hopefully be heard above the hustle and bustle of the chattering crowd outside. Danny blushed. He could feel the heat from Mateo's pit on the nape of his neck, the smell of wet armpit after a night of dancing tickling the hairs in his nostrils.

"Where's your party? You better not be out here alone on a Saturday night!" Danny looked down, trying to hide the thirst which had overtaken him.

"Ahh, they all cancelled. It's just me tonight." Danny felt an immediate yank, as Mateo squeezed him tightly against his pillowy pecs.

"Nahh. It's just you and ME tonight. C'mon." Mateo began guiding Danny down the street, chatting about the nightlife in New York City, how it's better than anywhere else, how it has the hottest guys and the best vibes. Mateo had been a staple of the ballroom scene for a couple years at that point, and was well acquainted with the bars and their owners. Any place of any note, he'd be able to waltz right in. Though in this instance, he decided to do something special for this little guy who he'd found meandering the streets. "It's definitely an in-the-know kinda place, if you know what I mean. And you're not getting in wearing that, so I guess we're just going to have to get you a birthday present." The two strolled up to a relatively inconspicuous apartment building, Mateo flashing his card to open the heavy metal door. Two flights up and ten doors down the hall, Mateo opened the door to his apartment. It was tidy for the most part. Plants sat on every imaginable surface, even hanging in macrame slings from the popcorn ceiling. Mateo flipped the lights on in his bedroom and opened his closet door.

"Uhhh, what are you looking for?" Danny nervously shuffled from side to side. This wasn't going to be one of those makeover scenes a la Clueless, was it? Mateo flashed several articles of clothing in front of his face, each vastly different from the one before: leather pants, a silk button up, a ripped up tank top, a latex polo... Under his breath, Danny could hear the quiet mutterings Mateo whispered after each one. Too young, too bulky, too preppy, too kinky.

"Hey. Like what's the vibe you're going for? If some hot guy walked up to you and was looking you up and down, what would you want him to see in a perfect world?" Danny sat there a moment, pondering. He wasn't entirely sure. He'd never thought about it. Closing his eyes, he tried to go back to his days of fantasizing about what a perfect Danny would look like. What he'd always wanted to look like. Though, for him, those days were far behind him. The years of being ditched and cast aside, while he understood why, had taken a toll on him. He'd only ever seen himself as that annoying friend who ruins the mood. Danny shuffled his feet beneath him, hanging his head.

"I don't know... just not... this." He motioned up and down, alluding to the rather sad appearance he'd taken on. Mateo stopped what he was doing, chucking a pair of sunglasses at the frowning young man, hitting him square on the nose.

"You stop that. This is not a pity party, it's a birthday party." Danny nodded, picking up the sunglasses from his feet: Balenciaga. "You know what you need? You need a confidence boost." Mateo pinched his chin, analyzing his closet. "And I have just the thing." It was like a frenzy. Within seconds, clothes were being tossed at him. Looking down at them, he anxiously investigated them. A long, almost see through tank top, a well worn sleeveless leather jacket, and a pair of wide, baggy pants- all of which about two sizes too big.

"Uh, hey, I really appreciate it but I don't think I'm gonna fi..." Mateo had plopped a heavy pair of beat up combat boots on top of the pile in his hands, nearly spilling the whole outfit out of Danny's arms.

"Shut up and go put this on, I promise you'll look great." Sighing, he started headed toward the bathroom, only for Mateo to stop him. "Here, just..." Mateo grabbed the wrists of Danny's shirt, pulling the gaudy top off his frail body. Snatching the tank top from the pile, he ripped it off the hanger and slipped it over his arms and head. The shit was undoubtedly massive on him. Danny was after all 5'4 and 100 lbs soaking wet, the tall hunk which stood before him would obviously be wearing way larger clothes than him. "Arms back!" Mateo slid the sleeveless leather jacket onto him. Danny could smell that this item was well loved, catching a subtle hint of weed, cigarettes, and sweat gently wafting from it. "Pants off!" He directed, Danny followed. Pulling his skinny black jeans down to his ankles, and taking off his brown loafers. He stood before Mateo in his whitey-tidies, and an unimpressive flat bulge. "Yeah, take 'em off and burn them. Besides, easier access for the lucky guy later tonight." He winked, causing Danny to blush. Any time his gal-pals had tried to do a makeover it always ended in a trip to Hollister or Abercrombie to look like every straight high schooler in 2013. He'd never had a guy, let alone a gay guy take the time to dress him. His guard finally down, he dropped them, quickly snatching the lightweight pants and pulling them up his legs, tightly pulling the drawstrings to keep them up.

Mateo looked him up and down, clearly thinking about what was missing as Danny slid his feet into the massive boots, feeling the squish of gogo boy sweat bubbling up onto his soles. Mateo snapped his fingers, grabbing the sunglasses and sliding them onto his face. Danny couldn't deny feeling cool in these ill-fitting clothes, whether or not he felt hot in them or not- if this sexy club kid thought he looked good he probably did.

"Awesome, here, take this bag. Happy Birthday, we gotta go!" Danny didn't even get a chance to peer into the mirror before a large leather bag was tossed at him and he was pushed out the door. He tripped over the baggy pants dragging on the ground, and the clunky boots which slid around on his now damp feet. "You look great," Mateo said as they hopped down the stairs. "I got just the place to take you."

The two walked for perhaps only a block or two before they turned into a dark alley, only a single red lamp far down the brick walled canyon illuminating the surroundings. They strutted up to the rusted metal door, Mateo knocking only three times before it swung open. The huge bouncer blocked the door with his arms crossed, though the moment he saw Mateo, he silently stepped aside. Thrust inside from behind, Danny entered the club.

From then on, the night was a blur. The few moments of clarity and recollection told quite the story. The club was packed, sexy guys dancing on eachother, gogo boys on the bar, discarded ecstasy pills littering the floor brightly glowing from the blacklights. A DJ played derivative beats as they approached the bar. The last clear decision that was made was to take a round of shots.

"Zayn! Could you get us two blowjobs?" Danny turned quickly, shocked at the prospect. He was slightly less anxious when the two cream topped shots were placed in front of them. After a quick birthday toast, the two downed their shots. Immediately, Danny felt an instant release. The nervousness had subsided, and he felt ready to enjoy the evening. He couldn't help but notice, before Mateo had ordered round two, that the sexy bartender seemed to smirk with every shot, heading to the back room for a moment only to come back with two perfect drinks. Round 2 felt just as good as the first, feeling himself smile and sway to the music. It was followed up by round 3, then round 4, then round 5... The shots just kept coming, and by round 7, the world was spinning.

From what little could be recalled, he hit the dance floor with Mateo, showing off the notorious dance moves which had caused him so much grief back home. Though, as the night progressed, he felt the music in a patently distinctive way. Every beat, every note hit differently. His body seemed to just move on its own, his hips swaying, his hands slowly wandering around Mateo's firm waist. The unfittedness of the clothes seemed to dissipate, and they began to feel... right. He liked the way that they showed off his broadening shoulders, his widening biceps... As he dropped, effortlessly pulling off spins and dips, his strong, muscular legs kept him firm in his stance, rooted in the perfectly fitted boots.

He could remember Mateo running his hands over the light tattoos sprawled on his pulsating forearms. He'd even done a few of them himself in his boredom during a relatively crazy shroom trip a few years back. In fact, as the two of them stood there in eachother's arms, looking eye to eye and towering over the dancefloor, he was so grateful that his bestie Mateo would give him such a night out on his birthday. Though, it seemed every year got more and more wild. The two didn't waste any more time. This was going to be a wild birthday, as Mateo planted a deep kiss onto his lips. Their sweaty, muscled arms wrapped around eachother, passionately making out on the dancefloor, before Danny reached into his bag, pulling out the magnum ribbed condom he'd gotten earlier that day, hoping the two would arrive at that point sometime during the night.

Mateo smiled and nodded, the two heading outside to wait for the Uber to take them back to the apartment. As Mateo eagerly tapped away on his phone, Danny leaned against the street pole, thrusting his sizeable package toward his boyfriend.

The next morning, Mateo woke up to an empty bed. Sweaty sheets tossed from one side of the room to the other, the stench of kinky sex still wafting in the air. He rolled out of the stained bed, walking past Danny's still warm, musky combat boots splayed on the hardwood floor. After a night of being railed with his face buried in it's ripe opening, he couldn't help but take a quick whiff down memory lane before going down to the front door. There, perched on the step, in all his blonde, shirtless glory sat Danny smoking his American Spirits.

"Good morning, sexy bitch." His velvety voice soared like the wind to Mateo's eager ear, something about that cocky, confident swagger behind his words always hit just right. He plopped down next to his boyfriend, sensually nibbling on his pierced ear. "Gonna get the neighbors all hot and bothered." Danny chided, Mateo knowing full well he loved being seen in even more compromising positions by anyone who stumbled across them.

"That's the idea." The two laughed and kissed, hoping old Mrs. Prallatt across the street was huffing and puffing in an indignant rage. "Hey the house is performing later tonight in the Bowery, I think you should show off the new number. Kick the LaBeija's ass off the floor." Smirking, Danny took a long drag and let out a large cloud of smoke before turning to Mateo.

"They don't stand a chance." Mateo stood up, kissing Danny's smooth hand before getting ready to head back up to get dressed for the day. "Hey, babe." Mateo turned and looked down at the beautiful creature which had been the wildest ride he'd ever taken. "How about you take those sweats off and I show you a couple more moves before we head out?" A strong grope of Mateo's growing bulge and a wink from behind his Balenciaga shades was all that his man needed to see.

[midnight-bay-if]

The result that surprises ME so much is Rain being so low.

I always imagined them being on par with N in terms of how much they are hidding among the "team", but I picked them in the poll because with N, they are "overtly hidding stuff", while I think Rain is actually "properly" hidding things and lying.

I think Alek may be hidding some stuff too, but I don't think it would be as much as the members of the team. As for Hunter, I can't really take him into account because he's a shady character and like... he isn't a person close to the MC nor someone who would really become so under normal circumstances. And like, the way I see him, there is no REASON for him to be obligated to tell the MC stuff. So in a relative sense, I feel like he's hidding less in relation to what he should be bound to tell the MC?

Of course, we just met the team, but like, I'm assuming MC will get relatively close with them fast enough, and they will obviously "work together", so there's more incentive for the team members to actually tell stuff to the MC, which means in turn them lying or hidding stuff is more relevant.

Interesting... But yeah, it was a tricky question to answer in the first place because all of the characters are hiding something. But lying isn't inherently bad and sometimes people do it for what they perceive to be the right reasons.

Perhaps I'll ask the same question again after a few updates and people have spent more time with the characters. I'd be interested to see how the results change 🤔

[ronniaugust]

How To Write Good Dialogue (Part 1)

I'm gonna start this by saying I'm not trying to sound like a know-it-all. I am just tired of posts like these being absolutely fucking useless. I am aware this is basically me screaming into a void and I’m more than okay with that.

This guide is meant for intermediate screenwriters, but beginners are also absolutely welcome. :)

(about me)

-♠︎-♠︎-♠︎-♠︎-

I've noticed a rise in film students who want to make films that have no dialogue. Probably after your professor showed you Doodlebug, right? Fuck that.

I'll make another post about writing a short film, but all you need to know is: Don't waste the audience’s time. Most of these no-dialogue shorts have very little substance and take way too long to tell the shortest possible story. Not a good idea.

Useless Dialogue

Plain and simple, don't write useless dialogue. Useless dialogue is dialogue that just doesn't fucking matter. Dialogue matters by having ✨subtext.✨

What is subtext? Subtext is the meaning behind the action. That's it.

If I tell you that I love you and I got big doe eyes while I say it, it means I love you. If I tell you I love you through a clenched jaw without looking at you, I don't necessarily love you right now.

Simple, right? Great.

Now think about the subtext behind every line. Does your character mean what they're saying? Are they doing it to get what they want? What is going through their mind as they say it? As long as you know your character, you’ll have these answers ready to go. If you don’t, you’ll figure it out eventually. Just keep writing.

When you write your character walking into a Starbucks and saying, "One venti iced coffee," does that do something? Why do I need to see someone's boring Starbucks order? Do I need to know that your character's boring? Why are you writing a boring character? [Of course, in the rare situation where this is some revealing clue to the massive crime investigation, then it makes sense.]

Useless dialogue is any dialogue that has no meaning or purpose in your script. Delete and move on. You don't need to write entire conversations or scenes that bore us, just write what we care about.

I took a class once where my professor called a version of this "trimming the fat." Get us into your scene and out of your scene in as little time as it takes to have it achieve its full purpose in the script.

[P.S. You don’t “inject” subtext into your lines. Idk who started that vernacular in subtext teachings but I hate it.]

Show vs. Tell

I remember a glorious fight I got into with a Redditor last year about show vs. tell… TL;DR: Dialogue is “show” if you write it with intention and subtext. If someone says that dialogue is inherently “tell,” they’re wrong and can go fuck themselves.

Dialogue that is “tell” is expositional dialogue. But, hot take: Exposition isn't just in dialogue. It’s also those annoying clichés that make you roll your eyes in the theater (which we just call clichés and not exposition). I’m sure every professor I’ve had will disagree with this and then get me into a long conversation about it, but let’s ignore that for right now.

Have you ever seen a movie where a character rubs an old, worn-out photo of a young girl while looking depressed? That's exposition. That character has a dead daughter. No shit.

Clichés are incredibly annoying. We all know that. Assume that any cliché you see - in this context - is exposition and try your best not to write it. (Tropes are different and sometimes necessary, so I’m not talking about that.)

Point blank: When you have subtext in your lines, they are "show,” not “tell.”

Before moving on, I'll bring up that while technically the dead daughter photo is subtextual, it is as close to the character saying “My daughter is dead,” as you can get. Don't treat the audience like we're fucking stupid.

The First 15

If you don’t know what the Inciting Incident is, please look up “3 Act Structure” before reading this.

The first 15 pages of your script is the part that comes before the Inciting Incident. This is the part you want to get right because, although people probably won’t leave the theater, they will absolutely find something else on the streaming service they’re using. The people making said movie will also just toss your script in the trash before it’s even produced, so it's best to get it right.

Dialogue in the first 15 generally follows the same rules, but carries a heftier additional rule. All dialogue in the first 15 minutes must, must, must tell us something about your character.

Remember when I talked about that boring Starbucks order? Why is your character boring? Don’t write that. Don’t write nice characters. Or pleasant characters. Or friendly characters. No one cares.

You want empathy. This does not mean “relatable.” It means “empathetic.” There is a difference.

I personally relate to Vi in Arcane, but I empathize with Theo in Children of Men. Both are excellent, but one personally resonates a bit more with me. You cannot write a character that deeply resonates with every single person, it is impossible.

With each line of dialogue, you must be saying something about your character that generates the empathy. Instead of telling you how to do this, I’ll direct you to a movie that will do better than an explanation: Casablanca.

Watch how Rick interacts with the world. What kind of man is Rick? Watch what he does, what he says, and how he treats people and himself. Watch that empty glass on the table. Watch his contradictions. Everything. Those things matter and it’s what makes you want to watch Rick for the entire duration of Casablanca.

“Realism”

This is maybe more directorial, but make your characters human enough, not too human.

Too human is when you’ve tried your best to capture all those little life-like speech patterns. You know, the ones that no one fucking cares about.

If your character coughs, they’re sick. If they clear they’re throat, they’re uncomfortable. If a bruise isn’t going away, they’re going to die. Simple.

Every moment on screen matters. Everything the audience sees is meant to lead them to a conclusion. Not the conclusion, just a conclusion.

The realism you want is in the choices your character makes, not how many times they say “Uh,” in a sentence.

Conclusion

Dialogue matters and should not be treated lightly or without care. Once you have this all engrained in your mind, dialogue should become effortless.

If you want an excellent way to think about this, Robert McKee's Story has an excellent chapter that helped clarify this all for me. Here's an excerpt and the context.

Warning, spoilers for Chinatown.

"If I were Gittes at this moment, what would I do?"

Letting your imagination roam, the answer comes:

"Rehearse. I always rehearse in my head before taking on life's big confrontations."

Now work deeper into Gittes's emotions and psyche:

Hands white-knuckled on the steering wheel, thoughts racing: "She killed him, then used me. She lied to me, came on to me. Man, I fell for her. My guts are in a knot, but I'll be cool. I'll stroll to the door, step in and accuse her. She lies. I send for the cops. She plays innocent, a few tears. But I stay ice cold, show her Mulwray's glasses, then lay out how she did it, step by step, as if I was there. She con-fesses. I turn her over to Escobar; I'm off the hook."

EXT. BUNGALOW-SANTA MONICA

Gittes' car speeds into the driveway.

You continue working from inside Gittes' pov, thinking:

"I'll be cool, I'll be cool ..." Suddenly, with the sight of her house, an image of Evelyn flashes in your imagination. A rush of anger. A gap cracks open between your cool resolve and your fury.

The Buick SCREECHES to a halt. Gittes jumps out.

"To hell with her!"

Gittes SLAMS the car door and bolts up the steps.

Story by Robert McKee, pg 156

The context of this page is McKee's way of explaining how to write characters. I found it very helpful.

-♠︎-♠︎-♠︎-♠︎-

Thanks for reading! I probably forgot something, so I made this a “part 1.”

I hope this helps someone since I’m really tired of finding short films on YouTube that are all fucking silent. The few who have done it well have been copied to death, so please write some dialogue. I promise you it’s so much better if you do.

Asks are open! :)

[utilitycaster]

What is the d20 meltdown about? 👀 If you don't mind getting into it

I literally don't know other than vague shit because I'm semi-avoiding spoilers. I'm making this nonrebloggable because we're in pure speculation country.

From what I have gathered, people are mad because I think the Bad Kids kill the Rat Grinders (another adventuring group that's been set up as their bitter, jealous rivals from the start) and they want...redemption or some shit? This is absurd to me like this party was set up as The Enemy from the start.

I am 4 episodes behind so I can't speak to this, and also I admittedly have a rather low opinion of the D20 fandom at large for a number of reasons despite being a big fan of D20 shows, but: I just by chance watched the scene that I would say counts as a point of no return for at least some the Rat Grinders. Like, actually some of the most villainous shit I've seen on this show amplified by how petty and small and purely fueled by jealousy the motivation is.

My guess as to why the D20 fandom is, per whispers on the wind/texting my brother who is caught up/talking to friends not avoiding spoilers, having a meltdown about it is because people have this idea of Brennan Lee Mulligan always making capitalism the BBEG, or occasionally religion or politics.

That is untrue. He does hate capitalism, and that is a theme in the (real-world-ish set) Unsleeping City, but ultimately the thing Brennan sees as the villain is a willingness to hurt, exploit, and dehumanize others for your own goals and benefit. Capitalism and religious corruption are two major examples of this, but in the end, the worst thing you can do is kill people out of a desire for power, or attention, or spite. What Brennan truly hates is what we on Tumblr call a tar pit.

Now. My much more pointed analysis? Kipperlily (and presumably the other Rat Grinders) are deeply entitled people jealous of the Bad Kids, who aren't as academically strong at times but who have leveled up through saving the world at least three times. How many people does killing rats so much that you hit the high levels of D&D save? or even help? Like congrats, you're level 14 from killing rats real good. These guys stopped the fucking Night Yorb. Of course they get the fame and glory, you entitled, self-absorbed little brats. Do you not understand how this fucking works? This is underscored by the fact that they've definitely murdered at least one of their own and almost certainly two (and a teacher to boot) at least in part to get at the Bad Kids.

And herein lies my feeling as to why the D20 fandom is really melting down. Because the loudest and most unpleasant contingent (which is probably why the server is, ultimately, shutting down all discussion channels) have always struck me as entitled self-absorbed little brats who demand precisely what they want when they want it (and also have the literary analysis skills on par with the 3/4ths of a stick of Monterey Jack cheese currently in my fridge) and they're seeing, in real time, that in this story, they're the villain.

But: I haven't seen the next 4 episodes and I could be getting the details of the plot wrong (not the first 15 episodes though, and I do not think the Rat Grinders are going to make the world's best Heel-Face turn in 3-4 episodes, and at this point they're so clearly the villains that to deny it is to admit truly earth-shattering levels of stupidity) and so: nonrebloggable. I'm hoping to catch up this weekend though on both the show and the hot goss, and if I'm right this will become rebloggable.

ETA: I am caught up making this rebloggable but I'm actually more confused, because as my posts indicated this was not even like, edgy. Like I assumed maybe there was a twist where the Rat Grinders appeared to regret their actions or something but failed to do anything about it, making this a little bittersweet? but no there literally was nothing, they went into the final battle still like hell yeah we're going to be the living worst.

[randomfandomblabdom]

Okay, so, I have one really annoying criticism about the film Twisters and you can call me nitpick-y all you want, I don't care, I need to talk about it.

I'd like to say right off the bat that I really like this movie. I saw it three times in theaters and I'd happily pay to see it on the big screen again, this criticism doesn't deter my enjoyment of the film at all, it's just something I've noticed and it lowkey drives me a little bit crazy. When I say it drives me crazy I mean that it's such a simple continuity thing that they still somehow managed to kind of mess up a little and I wouldn't have any issues with this at all if the film itself didn't handle it remarkably well for the first half only to just absurdly drop the ball on it in the second.

Twisters attempts to do a similar thing with Kate's character that the original Twister did with Bill Paxton's character in which it states a time limit for how long she's planning to work with these storm chasers. In Twister, Bill (Paxton) makes it abundantly clear that he's giving Jo and her crew 24hrs to get 'Dorothy' to work before he's gone and over the course of those 24hrs, he becomes far more emotionally invested than he intended. The night of the iconic drive-in tornado sequence, his fiancee leaves him, the 24hrs end, and a new day begins (which is kind of insane when you think about the fact that that entire movie apparently takes place in less than 48hrs...). The first act of Twisters does a similar thing albeit a little later in the narrative. We are informed that Kate only plans on being in Oklahoma for exactly one week. That is how long she's giving her time to Javi and Storm Par and this was absolutely meant to be a cemented plot point as it's brought up multiple times in the first act. Javi asks her to give him one week in Oklahoma, (in a deleted scene where he picks her up from the airport, it is stated again), Javi informs the Storm Par crew upon introductions that they'll only have her expertise for a week, and it's once again reiterated when Javi and Kate say goodnight at the motel. A week being what I feel like I can safely assume is seven days so we will be looking at this as a seven-day time-frame. Pretty simple, right? Apparently not.

As mentioned prior, the first half of this film - give or take - handles this timeline continuity really, really well. Like, this is a time frame they are actively keeping track of. You are being shown clear cut days and nights that signify the obvious passage of time and the change in costumes perfectly indicate those individual days. It's fantastic continuity and suddenly... you're not being shown clear days and nights anymore and there's more costume changes than there should be. Suddenly you're left doing guesswork as to what day it is and how much time is left or even just how long Kate's been there. Granted, it's far from the most egregious continuity I've ever seen which is why it doesn't bother me that much but at the same time, it's such an easy timeline. Genuinely, how did they somehow mess this up?

(I'm not a fashion expert, so if I call a shirt the wrong design name or wrong color... sorry).

DAY 1:

Tyler is dressed in a deep red flannel, Kate is dressed in a white turtle neck and blue and white-striped button-up.

DAYTIME:

Kate arrives in Oklahoma and meets the Storm Par crew.

Tyler Owens and the Wranglers are introduced.

Kate has a panic attack mid chase and ruins StormPar's potential data collection.

Tyler shoots fireworks up a tornado's ass as one does.

NIGHTTIME:

Kate has a conversation with the Wrangler's outside of the motel.

Tyler is still dressed in that deep red flannel, Kate is still dressed in that white turtleneck and blue and white-striped button-up.

DAY 2:

Tyler is dressed in a lighter red flannel, Kate is dressed in a white shirt and light brown button-up.

DAYTIME:

Kate meets Riggs in the diner and offers to buy Tyler an iced tea.

The twin tornado sequence.

Tyler and Kate get into an argument over misunderstood motivations.

NIGHTTIME:

Kate does research about Riggs' business.

Tyler takes Kate to a rodeo and they end up fending for the lives against a tornado in an empty swimming pool.

Kate drives to her mother's house after some choice words from Javi.

Tyler is still wearing that lighter red flannel, Kate is still wearing that white shirt and her brown button-up is now tied around her waist.

(including this gif to show that her button-up is in fact tied around her waist as a homage to one of Helen Hunt's looks in the original Twister).

DAY 3:

Tyler is dressed in a grey-ish, green-ish button-up, Kate is dressed in a graphic tee with a green button-up that sports an American flag design on the back.

DAYTIME (or evening in this case):

This entire day takes place at the Carter residence.

Kate reminisces in the barn.

Tyler shows up.

They all have dinner together.

NIGHTTIME:

Kate breaks down in front of Tyler.

Tyler is still dressed in that grey-ish, green-ish button-up and Kate is still dressed in that graphic tee with the green button-up that sports an American flag design on the back.

DAY 4:

Tyler is dressed in a white t-shirt with a brown jacket, Kate is dressed in what looks to be a brown button-up sleeveless shirt. As an aside, this is also when their clothing colors start matching pretty consistently because they're now on the same page.

DAYTIME:

The day begins with Tyler leaving the Carter residence and we get the now-famous wet white t-shirt sequence before Kate stops him.

They run a computer test and find that Kate's experiment should have worked all those years ago.

They plan to give her experiment another go.

NIGHTTIME:

............??????????????..............

This unfortunately is where this absolutely PERFECT timeline so far just...stops being perfect for some reason. After this exact scene, we are no longer shown clear days and nights and there are more costume changes then there should be all the while there is absolutely no indication that Kate's Oklahoma time-frame has changed. I'm not kidding when I say we're shown zero night scenes after this. Night scenes that, so far, have been crucial in defining what day we're on. Let me show you what I mean.

DAY 4 or 5:

After Tyler and Kate run their little computer model, the film immediately cuts to them storm chasing as a means of testing it out again. As you can see, their clothing has changed. In this sequence, Tyler is now dressed in a light orange-ish flannel and Kate is dressed in a red graphic sleeveless tee.

The problem with this is that the film, up to this point and as I've already shown you, has been so particular about costumes lining up with individual days so it'd be safe to assume this is the next day but we are given absolutely no context as to how long it's been since the previous scene and there was no night scene to tell us either way. So... is this meant to be later that same day or the day after?? Depending on how long it took them to set up the barrels and rig the truck, I could honestly see arguments for both. This could be either later on DAY 4 or DAY 5.

After their attempt at Kate's project fails, they have lunch and Kate decides to call Javi to get more data from Storm Par that could be useful. In the next scene, Javi shows up and we are given another costume change.

DAY 5 or 6:

I've seen a lot of people assume this is the same day as the storm chase and trust me, I think I strained my eyes trying to figure this out but I'm pretty confident in saying that is NOT the same flannel Tyler was wearing in the storm chasing scene prior. It's now a more white and brown striped one and Kate has also changed into a brown-ish v-neck type shirt which, bear in mind, is a different shirt than what she was wearing on the morning of DAY 4.

These are also the same outfits they're sporting in the scene after when they test her model using Storm Par's data. So... this is exactly why the costume change during their storm chasing adventure bothers me because unless they changed after storm chasing (which we have not seen them do before so why would they do it now?) this right here is clearly a different day but because it's not made clear whether the storm chase was the same day as or the day after the wet white t-shirt day, this is either DAY 5 or DAY 6. Bear in mind, Kate's only supposed to be there for a week and we are given absolutely no indication that she has extended her stay or changed her plans and frankly, all of this probably wouldn't matter if we'd just gotten one line of dialogue or one scene that gave some indication that she did because at least that would mean we could stop keeping track but that never happens so we're still stuck in the 7-day time-frame.

DAY 6 or 7:

In the next scene, Tyler and Kate are leaving the Carter residence and we are, once again, provided with yet another costume change. Now Tyler is dressed in that same grey-ish, green-ish flannel he was in on DAY 3 and Kate is dressed in brown coveralls - with a grey-ish, green-ish tank top underneath that we'll see in the next scene.

This is when they meet up with the Wrangler's to buy supplies in order to test Kate's project once again. So... how long was Kate specifically at the Carter residence? As far as I can tell, most people seem to think all of act two (everything that her mothers farm) takes place over two days - probably strictly because there are no night scenes differentiating them - but depending on how you choose to count the days here with the information we're almost too subtly provided with and assuming that she's still planning on being there for only a week, it was either four or five nights which... is A LOT longer than we're led to believe in the film because it all goes by so quickly and is no longer showing you the distinct days passing like it was earlier. Yes, to all the fanfiction writers out there, that means Tyler would have spent either three or four nights at the Carter farm.

I have two things to say about this:

Everything at her mothers house after DAY 3 is basically a kinda poorly done time jump.

If they'd been more clear that multiple days are passing here I think test audiences would have reacted better to the so-called Kiss Cut because if you understand that they just spent most of the week living in her mothers house together, a kiss wouldn't feel so redundant and rushed because at least you'd subconsciously understand that they probably just spent a shit ton of time together.

Oh look, we didn't get another costume change, so this is later that day (still either DAY 6 or DAY 7). Tyler is still in his grey-ish, green-ish flannel, Kate is still in her brown coveralls just with the top tied around her waist now.

I also just want to point out that the lighting in this scene actually really bothers me because... first of all, I genuinely can't tell if it's supposed to be morning or evening and second of all, it doesn't help that I still can't tell if it's supposed to be morning or evening in the scene before when they leave her mother's house. Kate said she lived a couple hours from where the rodeo was and we have no idea where this meet-up point is so... whatever, that doesn't really matter, I guess.

DAY 7 or 8:

We've now hit the day of the climactic finale EF5 tornado that Kate goes all Suicide Sal on and oh, would you look at that. It's ANOTHER COSTUME CHANGE. Tyler is dressed in what I believe is the same deep red flannel from DAY 1, Kate is dressed in a red tank top.

Do I need to keep repeating myself here? Like, do ya'll understand why I find this so incredibly annoying? The film was doing such a great job at showing the passage of time as it correlated to the amount of time Kate was going to be spending in Oklahoma until it wasn't. At this point, we're on either DAY 7 or DAY 8 which would be the start of a new week but remember how I said there are more costume changes than there should be? Based on the costume changes alone, this would be DAY 8. Again, we've been given zero indication that Kate has extended her stay or that she's even been there for longer then planned but either way her week is officially UP and this is where we reach the most annoying part of all of it...

DAY ??? - WHO THE FUCK KNOWS, SURELY NOT ME:

The airport. The fucking airport.

The costumes don't even matter at this point cause the week-long timeline is very much over.

Full disclosure, I really don't like the ending of this movie and hilariously enough, it has nothing to do with the lack of a kiss. It's too damn quick and this is the one scene in a film that's all about taming tornadoes that feels like it genuinely insults the audience's intelligence. It's weirdly jarring seeing Kate getting pulled out of a turned-over truck after a near-death experience only to have her being dropped off at the airport in the next scene like everything's all good and seemingly being on time for her previously scheduled return-flight. Or is she...

How long has it been since the tornado? Not a clue. How long has she stayed past her initial planned week? We literally have no idea but she's obviously been there longer than a week at this point. She seems injury-free, everyone does, and honestly, I don't think I'd have much of an issue with this scene... if Tyler's truck was not fully functional...

Fixing that amount of damage on that truck would not have been a fast process - it literally took about a month after an accident for fairly minor damage to the front of my truck to be fixed, Tyler's damage would have taken MONTHS for parts alone. Yes, he might be a YouTuber who probably makes decent money but it still would have taken a substantial amount of time to get it fixed. Not to mention all the fancy extra shit he has on it that also got damaged but now looks to be in full operating order. Did he just buy everything brand new and make it look exactly the same? Did he have extra stuff just lying around? Did he have a whole other replica truck just chilling in a garage somewhere?? Did a fan of the channel straight up donate all the money or all new parts? I don't know, I could not tell you because we are given zero information. I don't care how much protective gear he decked that thing out with, it would not have come out of that tornado looking scratch-free and perfect.

I don't care about realistic accuracy in movies. Where's the fun in that? One of my favorite films of all time is Armageddon and everybody knows that's the absolute pinnacle of scientifically accurate film-making. Like, there's movie magic and then there's expecting me to believe this is either the next day or a couple days later with no further clarification as to how long it's been because context clues are telling me that it's obviously been longer and yet... somehow some of the context clues are also pointing in the opposite direction considering Javi's Storm Par truck is still fucked up and he's talking about the EF5 as if it was yesterday. As far as I can tell, most people seem to assume this ending is the day after the EF5 because the audience still subconsciously knows Kate had a deadline for herself and most likely a scheduled flight and they haven't been told any differently regarding her plans so this must be that flight...even though there are conflicting context clues here.

Context clues that point to some sort of time jump:

Tyler's truck somehow being peachy keen even after being in the middle of an EF5 tornado.

Everyone seemingly being injury-free.

The indication of a previous conversation between Tyler and Kate that took place off-screen in which she wouldn't tell him when she's possibly coming home again - he also specifically uses the word 'still' as in "still not telling me when you're coming back?" which could imply they've had the conversation more than once/he's asked her multiple times but that's up for interpretation, I suppose.

Context clues that point to this being the next day:

Javi's truck still looking like shit.

Javi talking about the EF5 as if it were yesterday.

Javi indicating Kate's method has only ever successfully worked once considering he only mentions the EF5.

Javi saying, "I told you I'd get you back here in one piece," (or something along those lines) which seems to imply they're still within her week-long time limit.

The fact that Tyler and Kate's dynamic isn't any further along/different than where we left them previously.

See what I mean? Conflicting context clues that I personally find really annoying, especially given the amazing continuity the film had in Act 1.

I'm not kidding when I say Tyler's truck being absolutely fine in this scene bothers me more than the 'why didn't they just train the astronauts for drilling in Armageddon?' argument. It feels like we're missing an entire scene, whether or not a scene like that was either written or filmed is a different story. Honestly, if his truck wasn't in this scene at all, it might've been fine but because his truck is fully functional, we suddenly have no choice but to ask... wait... how long has it been??? I know, I know, they wanted the ole romantic airport ending or whatever and the joke with his augers but it just messes with the timing. If you're gonna have Tyler's truck in this sequence looking like it wasn't just rolled to hell during a tornado, you need at least one line explaining how long it's been since the EF5.

You know what it genuinely feels like? Because Tyler's truck is so much of a character in this film in its own right, it feels like a character just died a gruesome death and then was brought back to life between scenes with no explanation given. Yes, Tyler literally digging his truck into the concrete and running after Kate is very cathartic but the whole damn time, I'm just shouting at Tyler's truck:

I know people are gonna say I'm over-analyzing or "it's not that big of a deal" or "the EF5 could technically be on DAY 7 so that was a week" but when the film was so precise about showing you the timing to the point that it was perfectly keeping track of days and suddenly stopped for seemingly no narrative reason then I need to beg the question of... this is such an easy, basic timeline to keep track of and it was doing great, what the fuck happened??? It's like they suddenly forgot their own plotpoint. Dare I say it, it feels like the second and third acts were possibly rewritten? Hell, even the films use of songs dies down in the second and third acts but that's a whole different topic, so I digress.

After all of that gibberish, I guess my main complaint here is there was no reason to provide the audience with that week-long deadline if it wasn't going to be brought up again or have any significance to the plot whatsoever. That and I really don't like the ending mainly because of the inclusion of Tyler's truck.

If you made it this far, thank you kindly and see you next time.

*gif credit to @austinbutlermischief and @keery*

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

What do you think about theory that Lila is Manon from future?

I am vaguely aware that this is a thing, but I'm also assuming that it's a joke and not a serious theory because that would be one of the most asinine things that I've ever seen. This fan theory is even worse than the pigeon feather thing in terms of absurdity. It should be reserved for crack fic and nothing else. However, this show never fails to impress me with its poor-quality writing choices, so let's take a quick moment to talk about why this wouldn't be a good twist.

The issue isn't the time travel thing. Lila being from the future is perfectly in line with the sort of crazy stuff that Miraculous does to the point where I wouldn't be shocked if Lila is from the future! Maybe Ladybug and Chat Noir "wronged" her and so she came back in time to try to stop them from being a thing or something like that? It fits her characters. Lila has been shown to be incredibly petty and, whatever is going on, it's clear that she came to Paris with an agenda otherwise why go the multiple identities and parents route?

However, if this from-the-future twist ends up being a thing, then Manon would be the worst choice for Lila's true identity because Manon is a well established character who shares no obvious traits with Lila. The only things that the two characters have in common are their hair and eye colors (or, at least, the hair and eye colors that Lila now has). Nothing else ties them together.

Yes, Manon does her baby-doll-eye manipulation thing, but that's not a sign that she's secretly a master manipulator or a compulsive liar! It's just a thing that little kids do. Boundary pushing is par for the course at that age.

For Manon to be a good baby Lila, we'd need to see Manon doing some actual quality manipulation tactics that trick people instead of just standard little kid pouting and boundary-pushing techniques. There's no point at which Manon is successfully lying to get what she wants. Her requests are always rather blatant and no one but Marinette falls for her "manipulations" because everyone else knows how to deal with little kids as we see in these two exchanges from Puppeteer:

Nadja: Alright, now give the doll back to Marinette. Manon: NO! I wanna keep it! Marinette: She can if she wants. I told her she could borrow it. Nadja: And that's sweet of you, Marinette, but Manon already has so many toys at home, I wouldn't even know where to put it.

Marinette: Manon! What are you- Manon: I left my bag here! Can I have Ladybug? Marinette: You heard what your mom said. Manon: She wouldn't know if I hide it!

Not exactly gold star manipulation tactics here. They'd fail if Marinette had a backbone.

Could you really picture Lila acting like this? I can't and that's the problem. Because Manon is an existing and well-established character, they have had time to make her into baby Lila. Time to set up the twist. But they haven't. They've just written your standard boundary-pushing little kid. Her behavior is really not all that different from Ella and Etta's (Alya's little sisters), so why would Manon be Lila and not one of them?

That's another problem. If you're going to have a big twist like this, then Manon needs to feel different from the other kid characters and she doesn't. Really think about this for a minute! As far as the kid characters' behavior goes, what's the difference between Puppeteer and Sapotis? I'd argue that there isn't one. In both episodes you see little kids pushing boundaries, leading to them being punished, leading to them getting akumatized.

In Puppeteer we get this:

Manon: But, Marinette wanted me to have it! Nadja: You disobeyed me. I told you the dolls were to stay at her house. You won't be needing these anymore. Manon: NO! Mommy, please don't! Nadja: I'm not happy about this. Wait for me here.

In Sapotis we get this:

Ella and Etta: It's not us! It's the—! Alya: That's it! (picks up the twins) Ella and Etta: Come on, Alya! We won't do it again! Alya: Yeah? Well, it's too late! (takes off both twins' propeller hats) We'll all go to the park when you can behave, some other day! Now go to sleep!

Extremely similar scenes with extremely similar outcomes.

Another similarity is Manon, Ella, and Etta's behavior in Simpleman. They're basically interchangeable in that episode, further killing this theory.

If this twist was going to be a thing, then I'd also expect us to see Lila and Manon interact at least once since we do let Lila talk to the kids on a few occasions. And if we didn't get that, then I'd definitely expect us to see a moment between Lila and Nadja or even a moment where Lila avoids Nadja. Anything to establish some sort of tie between Lila and this little family that she was once a part of. As-is, canon has done diddly squat to tie them together so I don't understand why the fandom is making this tie. Do people just really dislike Manon and want her to be evil?

In summary, Lila is - at most - a decade older than Manon, so we should see seeds of Lila already starting to form, but we don't. Lila holds grudges, Manon doesn't. Lila lies left and right, Manon doesn't. Lila plots, Manon doesn't. Lila hates Ladybug and Chat Noir, Manon adores them. In other words, nothing in the text backs up the idea that Manon would become Lila in a few short years, so where did this theory even come from?

[geek-antic]

Soundwave is a powerhouse and an enigma and we don't talk about it enough so i'mma just gonna make a compilation of "how the hell did he do that" and "what the hell is he" moments that i've managed to find from across several transformers continuities

first off is from the first IDW comic continuity

this is never explained, so i can only assume its because soundwave is technically an outlier but i haven't seen a panel that shows other outliers having "off the scale" readings, whatever that means.

and then in the last moments of this continuity he sacrifices himself to save the universe/earth by using his outlier ability along with the enigma of combination to essentially connect the dead to the living in the entire galaxy for a hot minute . idk how the hell he did that or how he knew to do that, my money is on bad writing but i digress.

next up Transformers Prime

tfp fans: elaborate on that. tfp writers: no. transformers prime soundwave is definitely a powerhouse and an enigma for several reasons but number one is this god damn scene with ratchet exclaiming soundwave isn't your standard cybertronian and then to my frustration the show refuses to explain why.

also he can open portals. the only explanation for that is in the novels where he actually was part of the invention of spacebridge technology. i guess he could've incorporated that into himself, which frankly is kinda unheard of in of itself. but still I feel inclined to tell him that skywarp called and they want their powers back.

Next, we have the game Transformers: fall of cybertron. where he scavenges together all of megatrons parts and puts him back together which, yeah sure why not? it's essentially like putting a corpse back together but then he just REVIVES HIM??

with his mind completely intact despite having been decimated by Metroplex and being dead for several hours. excuse me sir but that shouldn't be possible. I guess I could just chop it up to the writers being a bit loosey goosey with their own rules for the world but it's still quite a feat. but thinking back to G1 where he did the same thing with skyfire I guess they assumed it's just something he can do?

although skyfire's revival was a bit more reasonable considering he was still in one piece and frozen solid which they explained to be the reason as to why he was kept intact. but I'm assuming that's why the writers were like "well let's just have him do the same thing for megatron" and everyone was like yeah okay why not. also like a lot of things in G1 this inbuilt high voltage canon/defibrillator is never brought up again which is hilarious and par for the course for G1.

there are several more moments throughout all the tf continuities where soundwave just does something inexplicable but these are a some of the moments that stuck out to me the most. I welcome others to add onto this post if they wish. because I'm sure I've missed some "how the hell did he do that" moments that would be a shame not to bring up.

[illdowhatiwantthanks]

Empty House

Casey Novak x autistic fem!reader Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI. Graphic sex, fingering, language. Word count: 1,702 You were more at peace than you'd felt in weeks as you settled into your office chair, a cup of coffee steaming beside you. You always got your work done, of course, but it was harder and took longer with the girls running in and out of your home office, not to mention King's constant needs. For the first few weeks of your foster placement, Casey had taken some time off work so you could all get settled. But when she'd gone back to work, the lion's share of childcare had fallen to you, for the pure, logistical fact that you worked from home.

It wasn't that you minded, exactly. You loved the kids, each in their own particular way, and loved taking care of them. You still got your work done, after all. But you missed the days where it was just you and the work, where you could be completely focused, without King waking up early from his nap or Imogen and Laylie badgering you for grilled cheeses. But today was Imogen's first day of fourth grade. You and Laylie and King had dropped her off at her new school, and you hoped with everything in you that the day would go well. Imogen's school day wasn't over until 3:00 PM, and Casey's mom had graciously offered to take Laylie and King for the day a few times a week, so you could have a break and get some work done. You'd had Carol fill out the foster care respite provider paperwork during the kids' first week at home, when she was nearly bursting with excitement to meet them. You and Casey had decided to wait to introduce the kids to anyone else until after the first week, which was almost more than Carol could bear. She texted Casey incessantly. And when Casey stopped responding, Carol moved on to you. Partly to keep her at bay and partly because you knew it'd come in handy later, you'd sent her the respite paperwork. Now, sitting peacefully in the office, lo-fi beats thumping softly through the speakers, you congratulated yourself on your foresight. You were about halfway through your work day, enjoying your uninterrupted Zoom calls and the steady flow of working well, when you got a text from Casey. How's your day going? ❤️ Good! You? 💖 Same old, same old. Murderers, etc. 🔪 Are the kids driving you crazy yet? No, they're actually with your mom for the day. 🙏🏻 You waited for a response, but when none came you assumed she was in court or an interview or somehow otherwise occupied. Being left on read was pretty par for the course with Casey. It came with the job. You knew it wasn't anything personal. You got back to work and, a few minutes later, were on a Zoom call with one of your favorite coworkers, discussing a new advertising campaign for a healthcare company. You were outlining deliverables when you heard the door to your apartment open and shut. You turned your head and furrowed your eyebrows."You good?" your coworker asked.

"Yeah..." You waited a beat before continuing. "Hey, let me hit you back in a little bit, I think my wife–"

Your office door slammed open, cutting you off, and revealing a very flushed and frazzled Casey in the doorway, presumably having biked here at top speed.

"Hey," she said, panting, leaning against the wall to catch her breath.

Your coworker waved from the computer screen. "Hey, Casey!"

"Hi!" she called back. "Can I borrow her for a few minutes?"

"Sure!" He gave you both a thumbs up before signing off.

You closed out of Zoom and swiveled to face Casey, concerned. "Are you okay?" you asked. "Why are you h–"

Casey's lips slammed into yours, her legs straddling your lap as she kissed you hungrily, desperately. Your stomach somersaulted, and you tried, mostly failing, to keep your bearings about you as her tongue moved into your mouth, her hips grinding into you. When she slipped a hand into your waistband, you pulled away.

"Woah!" you said, grabbing her hands and holding them back. "I'm at work!" You squinted at her. "And you're also at work, right? Don't you have court today?"

She pressed her lips to yours again, breathless. "Not for another hour."

"Casey," you protested, always the more realistic one. "It'll take you half that time to bike back."

She whined, sinking her teeth into your neck. You moaned a little, despite your better judgment. "I don't care," she stated. Casey looked at you with such need, such desperation, like you were something to be devoured–you couldn't help but smirk.

You bit your lip, weighing when your coworker expected you back on Zoom and how quickly you could get Casey off.

"Come on!" she pleaded, wrapping her arms around your neck and running a hand through your hair. "The kids are gone! Please, it's been so long!"

You laughed, eyes sparkling as you basked in her neediness. "We literally had sex two days ago!"

Casey was getting more and more turned on, continuing to push her hips into you. She pressed her head into your shoulder as she sought more friction. "Yeah," she said breathily. "But we have to be so quiet when the kids are sleeping."

You sighed, running your thumbs up and down Casey's waist, and glanced at the clock. "Alright," you relented. "But it's gonna have to be in the shower because I don't have time to fuck you and shower after."

Casey nearly tripped lunging off your lap and sprinting to the bathroom, leaving a trail of clothes strewn behind her. You grinned and followed her, pretty damn pleased with yourself that she wanted you this badly on a Monday at noon.

When you walked in, Casey was already completely undressed, running a hand under the shower head to gauge the water temperature. You pulled off your clothes and folded them carefully, placing them on the counter.

Casey stood impatiently next to the shower, arms crossed over her chest, clearly trying and failing not to pressure you into moving faster.

You nodded at her, and she smiled–a huge, goofy grin–and stepped into the shower. You followed, resting your hands on her hips and pulling her to you.

Her breath caught in her throat as you ran your tongue across it. "I don't have much time for extracurriculars," you told her, biting her earlobe. She groaned, grabbing your ass and pulling you into her.

"I don't need anything extra today," she said, planting kisses across your collarbone. "Just fuck me."

"As you wish," you said, shoving her against the shower wall. She gasped as her skin hit the cold tile, moaning when you maneuvered your thigh in between her legs. "You're gonna have to work with me," you said, taking one of her breasts in your mouth and swirling your tongue around the nipple.

Casey didn't need any encouragement. By the way she was rutting against you, her breath hot, brows scrunched in concentration, you could tell she was already close.

You reached a hand down and slid your fingers through her folds. Already wet. And not from the water. She bucked into you, almost pushing you off balance. You repositioned your leg so that you were more solid, and so that Casey's clit would push directly into your leg. As you slid two fingers into her and curved them toward you, she gasped, wrapping her arms around your neck and laying her head on your shoulder.

Casey did most of the work; all you did was hold her up, keeping a steady rhythm with your fingers, pumping in and out. Her body clenched around you as she chased her climax, her nails pressing half moons into the skin of your back. She growled and bit you–hard–and you knew it'd leave a nasty bruise on the back of your shoulder, which would drive Casey mad later.

Her breath came faster and faster as she bucked wildly against you. It was everything you could do just to hold her, just to keep her from falling. You could tell she was close to the edge. You pushed your fingers back into her, back as far as they could go, gently scraping the soft edges of her, and she jerked into you, emitting something between a cry and a squeak. She came loud and hard, moaning into you, moaning your name, her walls pulsing around your fingers. Her chest heaved, sticky and slick and steaming with the hot water that poured over you. Eventually, she quivered into silence, her hips still jerking into you as the last of her orgasm left her.

Casey shook slightly, her head resting on your shoulder, body wrapped tightly around yours. "Thank you," she breathed.

You kissed the side of her head, pushing wet strands of hair out of her face. "Any time."

When she found her balance again, she tipped your chin up and kissed you passionately, with the same intensity and verve with which she'd just come. When she pulled away, it was you who were breathless.

"Can I return the favor?" she asked, smiling cheekily.

You nodded quickly. "God, yes."

Casey had just begun kissing her way down your body when her phone alarm went off.

"Fuck!" she yelled, running a hand through her wet hair.

"Court?" you asked. You already knew the answer.

"Sorry." She slunk out of the shower, apologetic.

"It's okay. I can take care of myself."

Her eyes widened as she toweled off. "Don't do that! I'll do it later!"

You threw up your hands in mock frustration. "As in, hours later after the kids go to bed!?"

"Oh, come on." Casey needled you, pulling on her bra and pantyhose. She bit her lip and smirked at you. "No one makes you come like I do, not even you."

"I hate that you're right." You squirted shampoo into your hand and scrubbed it through your hair, pointing a soapy finger at her. "But for the record, you started this!"

Casey collected the rest of her clothes from the hallway, pulling them on as she went. She checked her appearance in the mirror once and shrugged, then quickly pulled your top half out of the shower stream.

"Thank you," she said, kissing you quickly and rushing her words. "I love you so much. I promise I'll make it up to you later."

She ran out of the bathroom, and you called after her, "You're gonna go to court with wet hair!?"

"It'll dry on the way!" she yelled, the door slamming shut behind her.

You shook your head, lathering your body with soap, trying to come down from how much Casey had turned you on. One thing was for sure: it was going to be a lot harder to focus on work this afternoon.

[bomberqueen17]

Aubreyad Running Tallies

Running tallies of recurring events in the Aubreyad series, reblogged/updated more periodically than per book exactly. So we're starting on book 2 here. Reasonings and citations below the cut, the cases are often ambiguous.

TALLY 1: HOW MANY INDIAMEN* HAS TOM PULLINGS BEEN IN

4

TALLY 2: HOW MANY TIMES HAS WILLIAM BABBINGTON HAD THE CLAP

1

TOM PULLINGS:

M&C is of course zero, as he does not enter any Indiamen until the second book.

as of Post Captain:

Chapter 5 We find him in the Lord Nelson, which counts as either 1 or 2 voyages. I'm assuming he's counting outward and inward voyages separately, so it is very likely this is his second voyage in her. 2

Chapter 7 he goes to impress sailors from the Lord Mornington and says he made two voyages in her. 2

POST CAPTAIN TOTAL: 4

TALLY 2: BABBINGTON

This one is harder because it is not directly discussed so most of it is inference. Trigger warning I guess, Babbington is of indeterminate, immature age and his voice has not even broken as of the first two books at least, but it is the Georgian era so I pray do not think too hard about it.

Master and Commander: chapter 6 Jack is eager to put to sea and one of the reasons is “where that infernal child Babbington did not have to be rescued from aged women of the town”

in chapter 8 Babbington is weeping from exhaustion and part of the cause of his distress is that he has been told that his hair and teeth are going to fall out and his body become covered with sores while his bones soften because of his "conversing" [at the time a euphemism on par with "intercourse"] with harlots, but this is just hearsay from the clerk (a boy a few years older than himself) and is not an official diagnosis. Stephen does make later reference to this time period, however, in a way that seems that the boy did in fact fall under his care for this matter, so I am going to grant this as a probable yes. (Stephen posits that the VD treatment, or the disease itself, stunted Babbington's growth so the fellow never gets above five feet six, but in a separate description it comes out that Stephen himself is five feet six with no cause for it given, and indeed it is not an uncommon height for men of the era [honestly, this era either] to be, so I think Babbington is just a short king. It doesn't hold him back or, unfortunately for this tally, make him less appealing to women.)

MASTER AND COMMANDER TOTAL: a tentative 1

Post Captain: Jack has Babbington turn out his pockets before going ashore, and confiscates almost all of his money to keep him chaste, and this expedient seems to work as incredibly enough Babbington's clap total for this book despite several runs onshore seems to be:

ZERO

Running total: 1

_____ * Indiamen is a term that refers to the merchant ships that plied that route, and not to people; an Indiaman takes the feminine pronouns used in English to refer to a ship or vessel. Actual Indian men, if on board ship, would have been termed Lascars and normal human pronoun rules would apply. Thank you for reading this definition of historical terms. I am keeping this count for hilarious timeline fuckery purposes and have phrased it this way because that is invariably how Pullings himself phrases it.