#which i thought was strange in season 7 already

[johanna-swann]

Don't worry guys, I'm sure we'll see Tommy again eventually. Or at least hear him get mentioned. It might not be in the aviation emergency episode (even though he's a pilot). And it might not be in the episode where the 217 is on call with the 118 (even though that's his station). But I'm sure it'll happen at some point.

[scentedpepper]

Missing | TWD

MALE READER X S5 GROUP

Summary: The group reverberates with a somberness upon your potential death

Content Warnings: Mention of Major Character Deaths from previous seasons, S5 and below spoilers

AUTHOR NOTE(S):

Not too sure how I feel about this one

Could be read as GN for the most part (he/him used a few times, 'Father' used once, 'Brother' used once)

Was originally supposed to be centered around Daryl and Rick, but somewhere along the writing process, I devlled into just about every other member of the group

Ya'll know how many last names I had to look up for these tags

Enjoy?

_________________________________________

7 days.

Seven days of them searching for their found family member who went out to investigate and never came back.

Glenn thought for sure that maybe with all the shit they have been through, the apocalypse must have treated you a little kinder.

That was assuming you were already dead.

Which Rick, in all his glory, continued to remind everyone that until there is evidence, there are just as many possibilities as there are stars in the sky.

He thought it was a strange fit, all doom and gloom, it wasn't like Glenn to carry around the carcasses of such negative presumptions about his loved ones, but nonetheless, he had just the same.

An ever present reminder as the fire was stoked by Glenn's constant fidgets, his spaced-out breaths being released with the baggage of endless possibilities.

"Glenn's gonna lose it when he sees this one. "

Is what Daryl said to Rick on the night of day 5, your shirt clenched in hand, approaching the church with footsteps so heavy you could mistake them for Walkers.

The worst part, Rick thought, was how he had found it, which further fueled the possibility that couldn't help but arise.

A decaying Walker's den where there was a mass majority of bodies wearing clothes; Not Walker corpses.

Hopeless and without explanation Rick approached camp with a grim expression that took root in his features.

And when Daryl had handed the shirt to Glenn after he feverishly chanted let me see it, let me see it, over and over, Daryl observed the way his hand shook when he snatched it and how the same hand came up to rub his face after he confirmed in his own mind that, without a doubt, it was yours.

Maggie had to take the shirt from his hands and when she felt the dirt and grime ragged against her skin, she almost burst at the seams, Rick knew by the strain in her brows and the way her hands turned into fists at her side.

She was the first person Rick had questioned upon your missing presence, wanting to know who you had walked out with last night and who stayed behind, wanting to pinpoint possible places you might be, or routes you could've taken.

Her response was ridden with anxious adrenaline, her lips chewed raw in worry, bouncing on her toes before stomping off and pulling everyone together to go looking for you.

There was no conversation within the group but a mutual agreement.

Naturally, the first person they looked to for some account of wrongdoing was Gabriel.

You had always been so intuitive, like you were the one who could read minds not him.

The others felt so comforted by you, Gabriel assumed.

He was only too accustomed to the fact that everyone saw the good in you, the positive, and while that brought him a modicum of solace, there were times where he couldn't help but wallow in envy.

A man of God and yet, it was you who they looked to, as if you were Christ himself.

As if you were his light.

Gabriel couldn't understand this fascination.

When he had confronted you about it, rather presumptuously, Gabriel was too quick to gauge the situation and allow his ego to speak for him. Said confrontation also happened to occur right before Maggie and Sasha who shared pointed looks with each other as they watched the scene unfold before them.

You were quick on your toes, always had been. Back on the farm, when Shane had been more akin to a wild boar, you were always the first to confront him. Always calm, or whenever you spoke you at least had the appearance of it, always matter of fact. Even when your voice raised or when anger was seething through you, it seemed like everyone just stopped, and listened.

It was one of your redeeming traits, sharp tongue laced with facts that wouldn't hesitate to point out things that were missing, contradictions, positions and beliefs.

It left some satisfaction amongst the ton when Gabriel pushed out of Judith's designated room, nearly knocking Carl off his feet as the door came with his exit.

A flustered look had replaced him, no doubt having felt the embarrassment, as if he had been burning inside.

After a beat, he had apologized under his breath and carried himself in haste towards you.

Unfortunately, this incident occurred the last night anyone had seen you.

When everyone had risen that morning, one by one coming off the floors of the church and stirring awake those who remained sleeping, you were the only one who hadn't stirred. Because your body wasn't even of prescence.

Almost immediately, everybody went on an emotional and mental frenzy.

Even when the conversation with Gabriel didn't bode well for him. He refuted, if a little pathetically, that you weren't very friendly towards him.

Upon hearing of what had happened just hours before they woke, Daryl seemed to retreat back to the deepest of his old roots.

Begrudgingly, Rick knew this was what they called "fight or flight."

Luckily for everyone involved, Daryl never moved unless there was something to fight for. The man had gained some sort of control over the years of personal development but like a dog, he'd jumped on Gabriel the second tensions rose.

There was a knife pressed against Gabriel's throat when Drayl pushed him into the nearest wall and the preacher did nothing but pray to himself and accept his fate.

Minuets later of interrogation and threatening, Michonne and Tara intervenned, though Daryl seemed none too eager to back off the smaller man, not until he was physically being dragged back and Rick telling him to get a hold of himself.

"He's lucky I didn't slit his fuckin' throat! It was him!"

Because back in the day, with Merle at his side, he would've and to hell with anyone who said differently.

Rick saw Carol's lips part to say something, as did Abraham, but nothing came out. Not with Rick cutting through them like cloth to speak, clearing his throat, hands rising in demand to appease the tension in the church.

"We are going to look for Y/N. It's no secret that we're standing on a ticking time bomb. " His head turned sharply towards everyone, waiting a beat before he continued. "Everybody gets paired off. No one leaves each other's sides. "

His gaze softened upon the archer as he came around to see the anger and frustration but most of all, the pain in his eyes. He wanted to assure him, they were going to find you. But he couldn't find the words to, as his own fingertips surged with doubt and as the rest of the days proceeded, his whole body seemed to become encapsulated by it.

They all began out at once, weapons gathered, determination and grievance fused into them as they exited the church in pairs. The only 2 persons staying behind being Judith and Abraham.

Before the front doors fell, Rick sought out Gabriel, his fingers ghosting over the knob as his stomach tied in knots.

"If you so much as touch a hair on her head. "

He was referring to Michonne who'd gotten the unsavory job of catering to Gabriel, "I swear it'll be the last thing you do. "

His eyes followed Gabriels timley swallow as he spoke.

"And if I find out you had an inkling of any wrongdoing, God won't be able to save you. "

It wasn't just Daryl that was shaken by the fear of your abduction –or worse, there wasn't a moment where Rick could stop to inhale without thinking about you. How tightly you had embraced him 2 nights prior, when he'd confided that maybe he wasn't suited for this leader job anymore, that he didn't know where you all would go, or if you'd even make it past these religious grounds before succumbing to hunger.

There was warmth radiating off you like a furnace and he couldn't shake the soothing way your fingertips gilded against his forearm as you told him that things would fall into place in time, no matter how difficult it got.

But Daryl was a damn firecracker, this way of his to emote through hostility and intimidation was a way for him to cope with the potential loss of his brother.

You were not Shane.

There's so much Rick could rationalize before he no longer had the will to counter how much he wished you were there now to quell the savagery within his best friend.

Carl was as much of a mess as the archer, if not more. The rage within him seemed to blaze each step closer to the forest. It burned at his eyes, tearing his hands into fists that felt as if their own knuckles may shatter within the grasp.

Rosita had to stop him.

"What?" He initially sneered at her, pushing out of her grip and continuing to stomp forward until he could feel her nipping at his heels.

"Carl, now is not the time to get some kind of revenge, alright? We'll find the fucker, but getting ourselves killed is not going to help. "

In time, she got him to sit down and collect himself, which consisted of roughly pacing and rubbing his face with his palms in an attempt to scrub the hostility right out of him. He wanted to scream, to fucking yell the earth apart because this wasn't fair, none of this was.

Yet, he found it somewhat easier to sit there and allow his teeth to sink into his knuckles while he suppressed tears.

Eugene and Tara had wandered the farthest the fastest, the church began to slowly disappear the deeper they strayed into the density of the trees until there was no distinguishable church at all, or street or houses for that matter.

They were silent the entire way, like speaking would somehow shatter the chances of finding you, safe, sound and alive.

So then when Tara's voice did come, meek and soft, far from anything close to the tone she usually sported, Eugene nearly jumped.

He halted immediately, his body turning as he looked every which way as if you may suddenly appear behind a tree.

"We should turn around and just make our way back. " She whispered.

That was her biggest concern, because with the route they had taken, any further into the unknown, she knew there were no way to familiarize themselves with where they were.

"Rick said to keep searching til sun down and that's just what I intend to do. " There was an an irrtation in his expression and an agony to his voice that confirmed his intentions were anything but logical.

"Eugene. "

And again, his body suddenly felt like it wasn't his, or maybe his bones weren't aligned and he was a puppet, a stranger, someone entirely else.

"Eugene, we won't get anywhere trying to force out this search. Please. The sun is already setting, it's near impossible to see 10 feet ahead and even if we were to press further in the dark, they're-"

She didn't need to finish her sentence to know what she wanted to say, the image was still clear in her mind as if she had just watched the last interaction you'd had with her and Rosita. The absolute dejection you allowed her to see in your eyes, the hesitation and restraint you had felt in giving your hugs. She took one and wrapped herself around you and you didn't dare do more than reciprocate the tightness, afraid to hurt her. As if.

After some minuets, Eugene came to and they turned back.

When they got to the church, Abraham was doing circles around the confinements of the holy sanctuary with Judith in his arms.

"Where's Gabriel?" Eugene spoke cautiously, realizing the weight in his voice when he did so.

"He's locked in his office. Said to leave him to rot or somethin'. Not a bad idea, the bastards a fuckin killer. "

Abraham was just as convinced as Daryl. No one asked to elaborate because they somehow knew the moment he did, he'd lose his shit. Like a bomb that's set to a timer, ticking away until it explodes into your ears.

"Find anything?" He asked as Tara slid down the wall she had been leaning against since they returned and brought her legs to her chest. Eugene shook his head at him which made the soldier nod back bitterly.

By day two, Michonne decided to conduct a one man search party for the nights. When the moon came out, she snuck off to the woods and scouted the area she had previously searched, for any evidence that may have been missed on the 1st visitation. Which would prove to cause strife amongst the group when Carl found her out four days later.

"What are you doing?" He challenged harshly as he forced himself into the dark brush behind her with Michonne's body jolting at the abrupt arrival of company.

"Carl-"

"Are you crazy?”

The boy wasn't the only person who she'd receive these questions from, Tyrese had found himself wandering her way as well.

"Why would you come out here on your own? Have you lost it?" He griped under his breath, tone laced with disapproval as if the woods had just come to eat them alive.

"Well, what are you doing out here?" She retorted back in a whisper yell with a forceful gesture to the man who was just as armed, just as ready as her.

Her efforts were fruitless, though, and no response was heard, which left her walking the same way she came.

Rick wasn't happy about it.

At first, when Carl appeared through the door in the night, he thought his son was the culprit of the secret night searches, but soon realized what has transpired when he saw Michonne making her way inside.

"Everyone is on edge, alright? Everyone is doing exactly what is expected of them, they have been looking and looking and Michonne, it's about time you pulled your head from your ass and sat down for the night. " Rick had said 5 minuets after they'd settled in the privacy of Judiths room. Their voices were lowered considerably so as not to wake the others, but Rick's tone wasn't anything less than a demand.

"So we should just sit around?" She had, then, the urge to spit at him and remind him that you could be dead in the next second. Gone. Poof.

"We are not–" Rick's voice began to rise in octaves but he took a moment to lower the volume. "We are *not* just sitting around. "

There was an enervation in Rick's stance that Michonne could feel pricking her heart strings. He looked exhausted, absolutely strained.

"He could– he could be in trouble. " Michonne attempted to keep her voice leveled as she looked around in disdain, her lip trembling and Rick saw this, that she could not come to accept the way things were."I can't bury him." She hissed as clear glistens of wetness fell from the pools in her eyes.

Rick knew exactly the terror Michonne felt in the pit of her gut and he could almost see inside her head, the vision of a funeral and everyone in a heavy sweat of depression and rage, because it was the same one he saw every night before he closed his eyes.

A few dead bodies surrounding the fire pit in the woods while everyone circled around you and Daryl cried.

He had already envisioned it all, envisioned the way Glenn would crack at your loss. While Maggie was reduced to hiccups and broken speeches, she had somehow found the strength to collapse to the floor and refuse help.

Bobs face would fall, for once, it would fall and Sasha wouldn't be able to handle the breath leaving her body, clutching Tyrese, who looked just as devastated, to her to bring her solace.

Carol would gasp but it wouldn't matter because no one would hear her over Daryl's sobs, no one would see the way her lips pulled down at the corners and the lines in her face would tighten.

Rick didn't like to think about how he might react. He imagined it be something similar to crazed. But beyond that, he didn't want to picture it.

And what about his son? Carl who hadn't even fully grown yet. Rick couldn't stomach the thought, the sheer utter torment he'd experience watching his sons body begin to wither. He didn't want to know.

You'd been there while he was unconscious in that hospital bed, through every storm, everything, by his side. You were a father to Carl as much as he was and you'd been nothing short of a supporting role to Rick. There's been times when you just drove the both of them off in the car, taking trips to lakes and nearby parks, anywhere that offered a semblance of normalcy.

You'd scout the places out days before, cleaned it free of Walker's and set up a picnic on the cool greens of grass or near broken tables. Even once or twice when the fire smothered to ambers or if Carl's blood started to burn so hot, you'd give them a midnight rendezvous, all three of you climbing up a tree or anything that fit the current circumstances in which the group resided.

Rick had to run a hand through his hair and all he could do was grab Michonne by her shoulders, look her forcefully in the eyes and say:

"We are going to find him. And anyone who gets in the way of that will pay. "

Because he wasn't going to accept anything else.

Which is why he didn't stop Tyrese or Daryl or anybody who wanted a chunk out of Gabriel the morning of day eight when he suggested that they move on.

He even went as far as leaving the church entirely, not caring to put aside personal feelings, not caring how he may look. His expression was sour and drained and at this rate, the only thing he cared about was finding you.

He would have no problem burying his tomahawk right into the preachers skull.

Daryl kept watch most of the nights, refusing rest for the past week because every time he tried, he felt as if it were a ploy. He became distressed each time he was reminded you weren't going to walk in and slumber on the floor next to him or Carol. You weren't anywhere.

It pissed Daryl off beyond belief to know there was an actual possibility that you weren't breathing anymore, weren't thinking, feeling.

His anger had to be one of the few things driving him into the same track less search the next day as he pushed through the forest ahead of Rick.

Things were starting to feel all too familiar and he thought he might find you in a barn just the same as Sofia. But you didn't pop out the doors in any walkers veil, you weren't bloodied nor torn apart. There were no traces of anyone or anything in those forests.

You simply disappeared.

And it left them in another night of quiet.

Spoons scraping agaisnt cans, the faint sound of chewing. A tiny droplet of rain hitting a window pane or two.

That was all.

No one spoke, yet they all sat around a room cramped with anxious bodies.

Sasha's leg brushed against her guns outline, her boots rubbed together, her tongue flicked at her teeth and she felt as if her thoughts were vibrating the inside of her skull, riling her from the depths. There was an eerily absence of anything positive, because at this point no one was expecting good news.

Gabriel's execution was more or less inevitable as each of the nights rolled by. There'd be the lingering aura of danger and anticipation due to the preachers remaining presence. But no one ever mentioned it, let alone had the will to.

It was hard to digest the concept of your loss because not a single one of them wanted to bury you, the group preferred to be broken and you had become like an integral part of what bound them.

Food was beginning to dwindle down the line of low and low to nonexistent.

And as they sat there, in silence, there was collective knowing resonating around them that this would be the last night they spent in the church.

Not that anyone dared to speak it, not even Rick, who gazed afar into the burning light of a candle and contemplated.

Carol noticed first, maybe it was her nose, fine tuned for the scent of trouble and like a dog trailing a rabbit, she jumped up with a clatter and darted towards the front door.

But she didn't even get halfway across the church, with Rick trailing closely behind her, along with the others who were all clammering to their feet, when the doors burst open on their own, the cool whip of wind entering the room as the room itself seemed to rise up in temperature.

There, with a trail of blood drops, a scarily dehydrated and filthy body fell into her arms.

It was you.

And the sigh of relief felt as if you breathed the air back into everyones lungs. It reanimated the whole church.

[sgiandubh]

To your previous anon. When this side and mordor side are in 100% agreement about this latest stunt gone stupidly wrong, you know it's gone stupidly wrong! We don't agree on many things but with this we're all in agreement.

Dear 'Previous Anon' Anon,

Well, he screwed it up BIG time. He could have thought things better than reacting knee-jerk style in the spur of the moment. Holding hands was completely unnecessary, as it made him look as a disingenuous consumer of cheap company AND a fool.

His Mommies are, for the most part, Christian conservatives (this is a simple, but reliable descriptor, not a judgement) who came and stayed for the book first, then for that innocence. Of which they ALL wanted a part of. They wanted a part of the dream. But oh, now JAMMF (the confusion and the struggle are real, for the aging Onlies) canoodles with hookers in the streets of London. This is not 1744, there is no Bonnie Prince Charlie, no Murtagh, no Fergus and they are no Claire. I feel for them. And it is not the first time I am telling myself the whole agitation down here eerily mirrors particular book tropes - as if fiction seeped into their lives, somehow. Strange, to say the least.

How is he going to come out of it? I bet he hopes for the effective virtues of collective oblivion and prays for small mercies. But this is Season Eight in the making, already and both he and C are running out of time.

No underpants twisting from the *Ur-Troll will make this palatable to that public and the people still buying that particular brand of bullshit in shining wrap paper WANT to LIE to themselves. For the sake of the above fantasy only.

The Disgruntled Tumblrettes will snarl on. It is their moment of dubious grace, Gay Brigade included. At least Liberace had Sonja Henie, the Norwegian figure-skater Olympic champion. That woman is no Olympic champion (her discipline is not included in that club) and this will seal the deal to them.

What about us? I do wonder. Don't worry: I am not about to jump ship. I have better understanding of human nature than that and I am anything but shocked by what happened. However, I also do think that this man cannot go on like that, from blunder to blunder, from OL to LOL.

I will not post anything else about that woman. Anything about that woman, reblogs included, will give her traction and a raison d'être. My inbox is full with pleading Anons I am deleting. Go somewhere else for gossip, ask yourselves what happened to you in the process and why you are interested by a hooker.

I am still considering Landcon 7. I have not made my final decision and I think it's understandable. There is a fine line between being benevolent and being an idiot with one's own time and money. I will tell you very soon what my final thoughts on this are.

Tell yourself they are people like me and you. Good people make mistakes. This is a horrible mistake I am not finding excuses for. His problem to solve.

[sharksandstars]

Season 4 of TUA is terrible so far??

I have a lot of opinions on season 4 and I fear most of them aren't great. I watched the first and second episodes fully and briefly skimmed over the rest (yes, I plan to watch them fully!) and so far I can't say I'm a fan. I have to address the elephant in the room: Five and Lila. In my opinion, it was a terrible decision and it felt like the writers were just trying to put in the craziest thing they could think of. And on top of that, it really feels like the way they executed was like a really shitty Wattpad fanfiction. I mean, there were like 6 scenes where they were living in domestic bliss??? Hey, so that is weird by the way! I have so many issues with their relationship... first of all, the age gap between the actors. Aidan Gallagher is 20 years old while Ritu Arya is 35 years old. I'd be surprised if they didn't feel weird while filming. Secondly, Five and Lila would not fall in love. I understand enemies to lovers is a genre and it's not inherently bad but with Five and Lila it felt like their resentment was far too deep-rooted. I've also seen a lot of posts about this and it seems like everyone is in agreement that it's weird and gross, and it doesn't make sense! Knowing this, I do understand that being stranded in a strange subway timeline thing for 7 years can be a less-than-stellar experience. Lila's marriage was already rough, but they really just needed some couples counseling and they'd be fine. I'd also like to argue that Five realistically wanted to feel love since he had never truly felt it unless you want to count Delores. But again, mentioning my previous points, it seems incredibly out of character for Lila and Five to betray Diego like that. I'm not entirely sure what the writers were thinking. As for the rest of the characters, I was happy to see them living regular lives. I unfortunately don't think season 4 was as good as any of the other seasons despite this, which makes me incredibly sad. Season 1 was fantastic, season 2 really picked up, season 3 was alright but enjoyable, and I really expected Season 4 to bring it all home, but so far, it hasn't in my opinion. I don't think it would have been better to just cancel the show after season 3 because I'm not the biggest fan of ambiguous endings. I also have an issue with the duration of the season: 6 episodes don't feel like enough. A series finale shouldn't have only 6 episodes, especially since all of the other seasons had 10 episodes. I just feel like they could have done more with it and it's really unfortunate that this series ran for so long and built up such an incredible story only for it to kind of... fall off. Also, just furthering my argument with Five and Lila here, Five killed her parents when he worked for The Commission. Which led to Lila hating him and trying to KILL HIM MULTIPLE TIMES. The writers must have gotten a lobotomy between seasons 3 and 4. Leave me your thoughts so far. I'll make another post when I finish it.

(Edit: I posted this on Reddit as well)

[fallloverfic]

Thoughts for people worried about what happens in ENNEAD Season 2, Episode 98 (the newest Korean episode that went up ~5 hours ago as of this writing) and how this will affect Horuseth.

(tldr; I think Horuseth is fine, but spoilers and discussion below the read more)

To sum up part of what happened: we see that Nephthys seemingly loved Seth to some degree before Anubis was born or perhaps even conceived. We don't fully know the details: as Isis indicates at the episode end, there's more to this that we're not seeing (and we'll probably see next episode), because Nephthys was proven honest by Maat's scales when Nephthys testified that she loved Osiris in S01E69.

The implication from S02E97 is that Hathor's mirror made Nephthys love Osiris, and Nephthys' affection/love/memories of love(?) was trapped in the mirror after she looked into it.

We don't quite have confirmation that happened, just Horus putting pieces together, and the implication we're going to either get confirmation/learn more at least in the next episode. Horus has been wrong before and hasn't had the whole picture before, lest we forget in S01E36-7 where he accused Sekhmet of imprisoning Nephthys in the mirror and making, "the fake Nephthys give birth to Anubis. [She] got rid of the real god of peace and provoked the god of war... ...in order to stain the land of Egypt with blood." (If the Nephthys in Heliopolis was never a fake after all, and mirror!Nephthys is just some of her memory/feelings, then yeah, Horus really didn't know the truth of the situation). He might still be right about some part of that, but recent episodes have seemingly indicated that while his intuition was right on points, he didn't investigate enough and came to the wrong factual conclusions about things, because he just trusted his intuition too much. He states as much in S02E97: how he relied overmuch on his intuition, which made him an idiot.

Anyway, on to the "Seth/Nephthys really did love each other and they're gonna get back together so now Horuseth can't be a thing anymore" stuff I see people doomposting about.

Folks do remember Seth loved Nephthys for a really long time, right? Like Seth says as much in S01E48: "I love Nephthys with all my heart". His loving her is not news. It's why the potential idea of her never loving him to begin with/Osiris' involvement hurt so bad.

If you think Nephthys needed to love him back to make his love for her... real(?) and thus, perhaps, his hurt valid or invalid or I don't know, that's just really strange. He loved her. He was hurt by the idea she never loved him, or never loved him fully, or otherwise lied about it, on top of lying to him about the identity of Anubis' biological father. For perhaps hundreds of years. It's still a tragedy, it's just perhaps more tragic because maybe Osiris really was a liar - like he seemed to be anyway, because he loves manipulating the truth/reality to his whims - and maybe Nephthys really was done wrong, too, by having her affections stolen.

Nephthys maybe loving him back doesn't make anything he went through that night less painful than it already was. More painful, perhaps, but it was already a tragedy. He was already on the road to becoming who he is now. It doesn't change the fact that unfortunately, Nephthys seemingly didn't love him at that point, and had lied to him about Anubis.

One of the few things we knew about Seth/Nephthys prior to S02E98 is that Seth would act angry so that Nephthys couldn't talk to him. In S01E41, Seth tells Osiris during the night of usurpation, "I always just acted angry so that I wouldn't have to hear what she had to say. She was probably afraid of things ending up this way..."

He already had regrets about their relationship. This just seemingly confirmed his fears (his fear of "being forgotten by them" from earlier in the episode/the previous episode).

People can move on from relationships. I don't personally see how, after everything both Nephthys and Seth have been through in the hundreds of years since what happened in S02E98, that Seth and Nephthys fully can come back to the relationship in the memory in S02E98. Possible, yes. Probable? Ehhh...

Seth might be glad Osiris is a confirmed liar. (If that's true: again, even Isis notes in the episode there's more to what's going on we haven't seen yet). Seth might be glad to know he really was loved. He might hate himself for doubting Nephthys. Seth might hate Osiris more for any number of things, particularly if Osiris intentionally placed the mirror in Seth's rooms to either make Seth fall in love with him or make Nephthys fall out of love with Seth (with the possible idea of making Seth turn to Osiris out of a sense of abandonment or something idk) or at least put Nephthys at risk of getting harmed.

It's been hundreds of years, though (if not more than that). Seth and Nephthys are now very different people, and Seth has a good and improving relationship with Horus. Nephthys saw Seth abuse Anubis (S01E05). Seth trapped Isis in the labyrinth, and Nephthys helped her out. Seth hurt a lot of people and cursed many people. Maybe whatever romantic love she might have had for him, even if she somehow gets it back, hasn't survived all that she's gone through and seen.

Seth's been through a lot, mentally, too. I kind of think he's moved on and after everything he's done, he might be too ashamed to go back to her. Even if it was out of their control that Nephthys stopped loving him, the other stuff still happened.

You don't need to doompost about Horuseth. Nothing has really changed. I say that in the sense that while the idea of Nephthys potentially having loved Seth until the mirror's interference might hurt him, particularly if he discovers Horus hid it from him, Seth is still who he is, he's still done all the things he's done, as king, as a father, as a husband, as a sibling, and he's still got this thing with Horus going.

Remember, in S02E70, Seth says to Horus, "I'm a god of the old generation who needs to disappear, not to mention an evil god who destroyed the country." He already has a lot of self-esteem issues and doesn't view himself highly. One reason he likes Horus is seemingly that Horus sees who he is beneath all that: believes in him as a guardian god, as a powerful god worthy of respect and affection ("My nephew, who dragged me down, is the only one who acknowledges me" - S02E74).

But also Seth did a lot of terrible things and he knows it. Horus is okay with that - to a degree at least, particularly with Seth trying to make amends - but is Nephthys? Nephthys, who gave him the curse bracelet - which nearly killed him multiple times - to make amends? She says in S01E66 she doesn't want him to be purged, and she clearly wants to support him, but that's not the same as wanting to live as his wife/partner again.

If nothing else, what keeps Horuseth together might be Seth realizing this doesn't change all that much about who they are. He could be mad at Horus. I can see him getting furious about this. He might even attack Horus, maybe even badly injure or kill him (but it's possible Horus could be revived, like how Isis revived Osiris, or something about Horus' uniqueness as a demigod/god). Maybe they'll separate and have an eventual reconciliation. But I don't personally believe they're doomed as a couple because of this. There's too many ways for them to stay together or get back together.

People can have past good, healthy relationships and not stay together. Sometimes we just grow out of relationships and into new ones. It happens. Horus makes Seth feel seen and cared for, and he listens to things that seemingly Seth's siblings - even maybe before whatever happened with Nephthys happened - didn't listen to, like Seth's opinions about eating or his opinions on his "duty" to guard Egypt or Seth's status as a god or his relationship with Isis.

Maybe Seth/Nephthys gets back together briefly but Seth goes back to Horus in the end because they don't work or he loves Horus more and his and Nephthys' time apart just doesn't let them work or Nephthys wants to focus on herself for a while. Maybe Seth attacks Horus because Horus hid info about Nephthys' affections. Maybe Horuseth reconciles because Seth realizes Horus genuinely loves him and hid whatever he learned because he genuinely loves Seth or was otherwise afraid of talking or how to explain it, and Seth realizes it's a messy thing to explain. Maybe Horus didn't say anything because, like he was seemingly aware the first time he went into the mirror, mirror!Nephthys/her affection for Seth, can't come out of the mirror anyway, so what's going to change? This is encouraged by the fact that Isis apparently learned all of this and did nothing about it. Even the god of magic - and miracles - hasn't freed mirror!Nephthys, when she possibly had opportunity (or maybe there's another reason we haven't learned yet for why she didn't; point is we don't know much). Seth might look at that and go, "I really hate this, but I guess it's just how things are now, and I'm going to learn to live with it."

Maybe Seth realizes that, despite everything, he genuinely cares for Horus and this isn't going to defeat them. That Horus had his back time and again. Sometimes things being out of our control don't mean we can just go back to how we were. Life happens. He's still got Nephthys' curse bracelet :/

If you, like I, believe Horuseth is real at this point, have faith that it'll continue to be real despite this. Horus is the main love interest, it's a boys love series, their relationship is pretty strong already, and more to the point, Mojito is a good writer. I think they'll be fine.

[diazfox]

How do you imagine a more complex sexual awakening for Buck? Cause I also thought Buck's coming out went surprisingly smoothly. For one, I specifically missed how Buck never questioned if his strange conduct in that ep was only about Tommy and not at all about Eddie, and most importantly, no experiences of his have been addressed other than checking out a hot guy's ass

hey anon! i'm coming from a purely storytelling perspective, not pro/anti buddie/bucktommy so yall better not come for me!

i think this trajectory is very on brand for buck. a complex coming out arc is dearly reserved for eddie in my head, i always imagined buck's coming out to be pretty smooth and i think season 7 writers have done a really good job at that!

for all his acting before thinking tendencies, i think there's also a comfort zone buck has built around himself that he doesnt feel the need to step out of.

for starters, i definitely see comphet elements to buck. he stops at mere appreciation (checking out hot guys asses) because he doesnt feel the need to think too deeply about it given that he's very comfortable in his attraction to women already. he attributes these sorts of questionable moments to his strong allyship instead and prides (🏳️‍🌈?) himself in it. this would explain why he never dwells on moments of doubt because he set those criteria for himself and never revisited them because loving women was satisfying enough.

which is why i think spontaneity is the driving force for his sexual awakening rather than a surface level attraction. tommy kissing him is what allows him to see past his comfort zone and realise that he could expand his options if he wanted to. the eddie vs tommy conflict is never addressed in his head because tommy becomes instantaneously and willingly available and there's no need for him to think or look further.

speaking of, a second example of the comfort zone he has built is with eddie. in comparison to his past relationships and having to overcompensate for others' shortcomings, his relationship with eddie is perfect. he doesn't give room for any other interpretation or extrapolation of this friendship because for once he feels this mutual trust and security he never felt before with others, not even family. it's the fact that even when they do have a conflict, the writers made buck be the one to apologise for not caring enough. this further cements just how entrenched eddie is in their friendship, something buck has been guilty of doing in the past and getting hurt by repeatedly. hence buck doesnt give room for questionable moments to penetrate the platonic boundaries he's set for his and eddie's relationship and instead finds answers within the confines of friendship. he maps his confusion around eddie to guilt about lying to his best friend.

given these interpretations plus the fact that he's often the source of comedic relief, it's understandable why his coming out arc is less complex and more romcom-esque. this is especially important if they are planning a coming out arc for eddie as well, because his is going to be a trainwreck and they would want to cover different bases instead of repeating similar stories.

looking at recent directional choices though, i think there's still room to build complexity through bucktommy. especially since all of tommy's scenes since he's been established as a LI serve no other purpose than to further buck's bisexuality journey (building confidence, publicly coming out). there was no need for him to be written off the bachelor party if they wanted us to properly root for him. he wouldn't have disappointed buck for not dressing up and not being there for the search party, which are perfect opportunities to build an emotional connection between them. i'm especially intrigued by this knowing tim minear through lone star, because you can tell how much he values significant others being there for each other in the most random times (carlos literally follows tk everywhere he goes). if this direction keeps being intentionally pursued, their relationship might end with a purpose too, and perhaps this could turn buck's world upside down?

all i'm desperately hoping for is that this doesn't end in another person abandoning buck... because he's had enough. and I'VE had enough

[shounenlord-sama]

[translation] Rin and Sousuke and Kisumi's Letters PART 6 & 7

Drama CD from High Speed! -Free! Starting Days movie

I have read the translation for parts 1-5 many years ago, but I have never seen translation for parts 6-7, so I tried translating it!

Disclaimer: Some parts may be inaccurate, as I will be translating this from a Spanish source, which has been translated from the Japanese source. I never found the original Japanese source, so I will be using the translated Spanish translations as basis of my translation.

English Translations Part 1-5:

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4] [Part 5]

Spanish Translation w/ Audio Part 1-7:

[Video]

Rin and Sousuke and Kisumi's Letters PART 6

Part 6 starts at 13:04

*Sousuke runs after Kisumi*

Sousuke: KISUMI!!!

*Sousuke grabs Kisumi tightly*

 Kisumi: Ow, ow, ow, I give up, Sousuke! I give up!

 Sousuke: So you’re the one who wrote all those nonsense to Rin, huh?

Kisumi: Nonsense? What do you mean? Wait a minute, let me go.

 *Sousuke throws Kisumi to the ground*

 Kisumi: You’re so mean, Sousuke.  No need to get so angry, you know?

Sousuke: This is no laughing matter! Tell me, who EXACTLY was crying at the dock?! And who was the one who wanted to swim all the way to Australia for Rin?!

Kisumi: Ah, so Rin sent you a letter? But Sousuke, you DID look like that. The last time I saw you, you had a really sad look on your face. I bet you were thinking about Rin, and knowing you, you would never tell him, that’s why I did it for you!

Sousuke: SHUT UP! You didn’t have to do useless stuff like that! If I really needed to tell Rin, I’d tell him!

Kisumi: Ehh~ for real? But being separated by such distance is a big problem, right? I only did what I thought was best for the both of you.

Sousuke: It’s your fault! Because of your unneeded meddling, Rin thinks I’m all of those ridiculous nonsense!

Kisumi: Eh, did I really write something strange? What did Rin say?

Sousuke: That I was crying at the dock, and that I wasn’t eating properly. It sounded like I was dying! That’s ridiculous!

 Kisumi: Woah!  It seems like Rin took it too seriously. What an imagination!

Sousuke: Why you little… Prepare yourself!

Kisumi: Uhm… Sousuke? This is bad, don’t be too mad… yeah?

Sousuke: Oh, you’re really annoying! TAKE THIS!

*Sousuke grabs Kisumi once again*

Kisumi: NO, THAT HURTS~! Sousuke, you’re going to break my neck, please let go of my neck!!

Rin and Sousuke and Kisumi's Letters PART 7

Part 7 starts at 15:07

Sousuke: Rin, how are you doing? I’m still doing what I usually do, so please don’t worry about me. By the way, about the muscle training regimen we discussed, I have already reached the advanced level, so I think I won this challenge, don’t you think? As promised, you owe me a cola when you get back. Don’t you forget it! One more thing, the times when we competed over who could get to the train station first, or when we played soccer or other games, for me none of them were real competitions. There are many things we have yet to experience. Surfing sounds good. Keep at it! As for me, I only keep swimming. My time in butterfly improved, and I’m eating and sleeping properly. It’s getting pretty hot here, which means it must be getting cold where you live. You’ve always liked the winter season. You go crazy with the Christmas and New Year seasons. Anyway, let’s keep working hard together. See you soon.

P.S.  I already dealt with Kisumi.

 Rin: Eh? What about Kisumi? Nevermind! Let’s write back!

Rin: Sousuke~! Too bad for you but I reached the advanced level before you, which means our match isn’t over yet!

THE END

I know it's a little too late, and no one would prob need this anymore, but still... I did it anyway!! I hope you all like and appreciate this translation! Please like and reblog!

[fantasy-mixtapes]

Fig Faeth Junior Year Playlist: Side A

It's no surprise that Fig Faeth's playlist is the one that I actually listen to the most. It's just a very good vibe and I love her. Took extra time to Song descriptions and thoughts down below. Spoilers for Episodes 1-10.

Genres included: Pop-punk, Punk, Alternative

1. hair out, Stand Atlantic

Am I fuckin' up my life? I'm just tryna make improvements Slowly givin' up the fight But I gotta cover up the bruise That I get from all the Expectations give me vertigo Wasting away to the pressure The pressure, The pressure, oh

This song is such an earworm, scratching a specific itch in my brain. Love the fact that both Kristen and Fig (the failing girlies) start with a Stand Atlantic song, and it works with the way that Fig is coming at this season. From the jump, she is one of the most visibly and audibly burnt out, specifically from the pressure of the "sophomore album" that was supposed to come out months ago. This song is definitely about the pressures of a songwriter as well as the pressures of life in general so it fits sooooo perfectly. Especially with the "I can already here people hating the song" outro *chefs kiss*

2. Who The Hell Am I?, NOBRO

God, I'm tired of being like this I can change, but in a minute Always looking for the back door, on the run Always at the party, never quite having fun Play with fire, and you're gonna get burned I'm on fire, and you know it hurts I was always on the outside looking in Maybe it's me 'cause I never wanna fit in

Fig's class struggles, her conversation with Mazey, I can't take it. I feel like we've all been there. I really love how the narrative with her has progressed, like last season was deconstructing her need to mold herself into other people (or into an idealized version of herself) now she's trying to figure out who she is at her core without all the disguises.

3. 7 Years Bad Luck, Glasseater

Something strange seems to be plaguing me Everything I touch falls apart I've lost it all, losing all my luck Suffering 7 years bad luck

I don't particularly love this song, a little too unintentionally underproduced, but it deserves a spot on this playlist. I feel like I would be Fig in the curse situation. It took me a literal year to deal with debilitating stomach problems, and I, too, waited until my friends noticed to actually do something about it. Either way, can't wait to learn more about the weird Galier Pride curse, love the representation for my stomach problem girlies

4. Where the Heart Is, Sweet Pill

Get this My mind's been in a million places but my body hasn't moved an inch And I feel like I'm missing out again Ignoring my plans Wondering how they went Feeling bad about it If I could just take a chance I wouldn't feel so bad To see past myself I wouldn't feel so bad

This is Fig's final decision to try Paladin after doing so well with Warlock. She knows the priorities in her gut don't match with what anyone else says, but she's discovering her loyalty. She's figuring out her actual drive... following her heart <3

5. Impostor Syndrome, Sidney Gish

Unfortunately, I am My own dog, my own fur companion My own old lady on a forum Who types in glittery decorum Unfortunately, I take Myself out walking every day and I had my legs to the feet and I give my head to the leash

Making Fantasy High playlists is like making a ven diagram of which dog-themed songs are Tracker-coded and which are Fig-coded. This one, to me at least, is Fig-coded. (yes, I do have a tracker playlist, and yes, every song in it is dog/wolf specific, BUT THEY'RE GOOD OK). We love our Oath/Pact of the German Shepard.

6. You Owe Me Nothing In Return, Alanis Morissette

I'll give you countless amounts of outright Acceptance if you want it I will give you encouragement to chose The path you want if you need it You can speak of anger and doubts Your fears and freak outs And I'll hold it

So I know that we're gearing up for Fig's Warlock/Paladin agreement post "mooner yulenear," but this is my interpretation of what it's going to look like. She cares about her friends, and she would do anything for them! And though I know this song came out in 2002, Alanis Morissette is a 90's icon and perfect for the grungy riot grrrl vibe I see for her

[skullsgrowontrees]

ARCANE SEASON 2 SPOILERS!!

.

I have a lot to say.

1) Oh my gosh, I did NOT expect Sky to hahnt the narrative like this. I'm so happy they're using her for this, I was getting bored of people saying she was a wasted character when it was obvious they were setting up something. I also wanna add (which is a little bit of a tangent but wtv) that this, to me does not confirm that Viktor had a romantic interest for Sky necessarily, but to me it shows that he did CARE about her a lot. I was getting a little upset at discussions saying that Viktor simply never cared for Sky and she only mattered when she died, since it made Viktor realize his effects on other people. She had way more of an impact on him than this (obviously, they've known each other since childhood). I don't believe he ever saw her romantically tho. Probably just go a lot more attached upon reading the confession she had written for him. Nevertheless, I am sooooo enjoying this sort of messiah persona their giving him (it lines up well with what we know of him in the games).

2) A part of me is a little sad that a Mel wasn't the one who died. Not because I hate her character, in fact, I find her to be very interesting (The stuff with her mom is ALWAYS so visceral to me???). I just think that it would have had a lot more of an impact on Jayce and probably given her mom more of a reason to be here. It also would have given the start of the season more emotional weight. Sure, I'm sad that Caitlin's mom died and I'm happy this is being used as a drive for her, but it just didn't hit me as hard as it could have. I have some thoughts on it is all.

3) Does anybody else find it kind of jarring how many musical moments there are? It's not that I dislike them or anything, but I liked that there were less of them in the first season so it felt fresh and unique to the scenes when there were. In the first episodes, I can already count like a good 3-4 of them. Just thought it was a strange decision.

4) Gosh, I am loving some of the new character's and their designs. I hope we see more of them. They look really good. In general, the show is just as, if not MORE aesthetically pleasing than in season 1. Everybody and everything just looks really nice and I'm happy that's something that wasn't slept on.

5) I really like the Sevika/Jinx alliance! OH, THAT AND THE LITTLE KID! I love the idea of putting Jinx in a sort of protector role after having every older figure in her life promise to keep her safe just to fail at it. At first, I thought it might not fit her, but I think it's a good decision.

6) Jayce and Viktor breakup part 2... Omfg, these two. THE HUG SCENE. IT'S SO... INTIMATE. The way Viktor was caressing Jayce's back, it's like the other was precious. I felt like I was interrupting something like HELLO??? "It was affection that held us together."

...IT WAS AFFECTION THAT HELD US TOGETHER. SAY FUCKING SIKE RN. I DID NOT WAIT THIS LONG FOR YOU TOO TO TENDERLY EMBRACE AGAIN JUST FOR YOU TO THROW THIS SHIT AT ME. OML. They make me sick. They make me ILL.

7) Vi is having the police effect rn (The oppressed becomes the oppressor). It was to be expected since yk, the games, but like I hate seeing it in real time. I hate seeing how little fights for it not to happen.

8) The Vi x Caitlyn stuff is real cute, but I'd be lying if I said I found the Caitlyn stuff to be very interesting at the start... I'm sorry, but we have so many things to deal with rn, how are we spending this much time over the poor girl's dead mother. It was just uninteresting to me, but it was a vehicle for the fun stuff to start, so I can't really be mad.

9) Seeing how the underground functions now that Silko is dead has been a lingering question of mine for a while and I'm happy that it was answered!

10) I was so worried the second intro wouldn't be as good and was even kinda wondering if they would just go for the same one, but I LOVE the vibes and tones set for the second! It doesn't beat the first, since that's almost an impossible task, but it's a fun treat and I am also not skipping that one when I watch an episode from now on.

11) And of course, the most important thing; EKKO LOOKS SO FUCKING FINE UGHHHHH HE FINALLY GETS MORE SCREEN TIMEEEEE!!!

LORD, HAVE MERCY.

Oh, and the Heimerdinger stuff with him is also cool ig.

[riven-acid-mage]

Ten reasons why Riven and Musa are the worst couple in the world, and they are simply contraindicated to be together:

1. As soon as they start dating, Musa suddenly begins to attack Riven over any nonsense.

2. Musa doesn’t care how Riven feels or his internal problems, the only thing that matters to her is what she herself wants. She will blame him for not supporting her, but at the same time she herself is unable to support her boyfriend. And always biased towards Riven

3. Neither Musa nor Riven are capable of dialogue with each other. Riven would benefit from having an understanding partner to discuss problems with, but Musa is the complete opposite of that. She doesn't even try to understand him.

4. Musa has a strange attitude towards her boyfriend, as if he is an enemy from whom you constantly expect a trick. And she seems to imply that he must live in eternal repentance because of his past. And why did she get her Charmix?

5. Musa easily flirts with Jason Queen, without officially breaking up with Riven. It is only when it turns out that the producer is already in a relationship that she worries whether Riven is angry with her. And she immediately wants to maintain this relationship. From which we can conclude that she needs a relationship in order for her to have one. And for self-affirmation

6. In the first season, Musa had an unrequited crush on Riven. And she was quite happy with the fact that he was a bad guy. And the most unpleasant thing was that she was stalking. I don't understand people who blame Riven for something, because he didn't have to fall in love with her. And he is not able to read the Musa's thoughts

7. Musa and Riven's relationship brings out the worst in both of them. Since the third season, Musa has exhibited more toxic behavior towards other Winx. This is especially pronounced in season 3, episode 19. She uses Layla to tease Riven and humiliate him in front of everyone.

Riven in this relationship will most likely become paranoid, afraid of saying or doing something wrong.

8. The most disgusting thing is the solution to the conflict of this couple in the third season. At first, Musa claims that they have nothing for the whole year. And only when he indiscriminately gets into a fight with Nabu, she changes her anger to mercy, rejoicing at the violence, because he fought for her. In season 4, she no longer likes jealousy, and if he had attacked Jason Queen with his fists, she would not have been so happy.

9. Musa gives the impression of a person who will make things up and get offended himself. She could create an image of Riven in her head in the first season and be disappointed in him when she found out the real him.

10. I sincerely don’t understand why they are together. Layla and Musa had more chemistry in season 2 than Riven and Musa. He and Riven should have remained friends. They might have looked good as friends, but not as a couple.

Basically, I analyzed Musa’s behavior, because it was she who gave me negative feelings when watching. I liked Musa until they paired her with Riven

[uss-genderprise]

This review of First Time #5 has been in my drafts for over a year

First Times 5 was published in February of 1986 by Merry Men Press, and is, of course, the fifth issue of First Time. It boasts 193 pages, 7 fics, 12 poems, and 7 drawings (not including the covers). It's spiral bound, which isn't my favourite but gets the job done nonetheless.

First impressions are very easy because I pulled this out of my box of fanzines and was immediately smacked in the face by Kirk's naked ass. The cover art is pretty nice but quite shocking. The back cover is weirdly proportioned and that doesn't look like the most comfortable position but okay. It starts with a poem before the editorial, which is unusual. The editorial itself is pretty funny, as the editor suggests that all trekkers band together and buy shares of Paramount to control what the company makes - very let's buy tumblr vibes.

Warnings: rape, non consensual drug use, mild sex.

Disclaimer: as usual, all of this is my personal opinion and should not be taken as an attack on anyone involved in this zine.

A Thought for Christmas

by Ellen Thacher

Christmas fics my belothed. It's hard to enjoy them when I keep thinking that both Kirk and Spock are Jewish. Thankfully, Spock also doesn't seem to like it. In the very first paragraph I already found two punctuation errors, which did not bode well for the rest of this zine, though I found no others. The fic was pretty sweet. 4/5

Logical Decisions

by Faille

It only took one page for me to be certain that Kirk and Spock would end up stranded on some planet with Spock entering pon farr, and I was soon proven correct, even if it happened in a slightly different way than I had expected. I'm not complaining, I like this trope. This is a long one, and it's mostly romantic, mushy, lovey-dovey stuff (in the best way possible) interspersed with some light humour. Plenty of relationship negotiations, which is always a plus. The only complaint I have (other than the considerable amount of typos) is that it made me crave apricots, and they're currently out of season. 5/5

On Our Beach

by Vera Barga

After Pike leaves the Enterprise Spock takes shore leave and tries to go somewhere quiet. On the same night, Kirk is enjoying his last night before becoming Captain. They meet in a casino and hit it off (if you know what I mean) and are then surprised to meet again on the Enterprise. They take it slow and eventually become lovers again.

People say you should sandwich the bad things in between good things but I have to get this out of the way: as a trans nonbinary person reading fics from the 80's is hell. It's all "male" and "female" and being into "males" or "females" and "women are exotic and strange". This is literally my only complaint for this fic and it's incredibly common in this era but in this one it was even more heavy-handed than usual. Other than that I had fun though. I like how important the explicit consent was, how at no point either of them tried to pressure the other and even went out of their way to point it out. I liked it. 4.5/5

The High Price of Love

by Ann

Spock disappears and Starfleet considers him a deserter. Kirk, of course, can't believe that, and keeps looking for him. It takes six months and Bones dragging him to a brothel to find Spock, selling his body to feed his addiction to an aphrodisiac. Turns out he was kidnapped by Orion slavers, addicted to this drug to "train" him as a sex slave, and sold to this brothel. Kirk and McCoy rescue him and help him fight off his addiction. There is a lot to unpack here.

As far as stories with this kind of premise go, the relationship between Kirk and Spock was natural, fairly pre-established, and fully consensual. McCoy played a fairly big part, which I personally greatly enjoy, and even had some heavily subtextual scenes with Spock, which I enjoyed even more (Spones? In my K/S zine? It's more likely than you think).

Graphic descriptions of rape were graphic, graphic depictions of consensual, romantic sex were less so. All in all, not too bad. 4/5

High Time

by Jenny

Kyle's bachelor party is made infinitely more interesting by someone slipping a drug that lowers inhibitions into some people's drinks. Scotty tells terrible jokes, Sulu does a strip tease, and Kirk seduces Spock. A great time is had by all - except McCoy, who wakes up with a hangover.

Honestly, I had a great time reading this. Despite drugs being involved everything was fully consensual, and Kirk and Spock were incredibly sweet. I also liked Scotty's joke, even if it was quite long-winded. 5/5

Where You Find It

by Zoey Brook

Kirk and Spock get stranded on a planet crawling with Klingons and are forced to hide in a cave and huddle for warmth, while a mysterious, empathic, shape-changing entity attempts to help them and learn from them.

I tend to like "stranded on a planet" stories. They're not usually my favourite, but when they're well done they can be spectacular. Personally, I felt that despite the interesting premise, this one was somewhat lacking. There was so much more that could have been done with it. 4/5

The Wall

by Kathy Tipton

Apparently, every five years Starfleet forces their officers to do a "check-up" which involves potentially risking their lives in a very harsh environment. Kirk and Spock are lucky enough to go together. They nearly fall off a cliff and get attacked by a vicious animal, and then they have sex for the first time while waiting for rescue before Spock dies from blood loss.

And despite all that (or maybe because of it?) I enjoyed this fic. I like the angst, I like the descriptions, the smut wasn't bad, and it had a happy ending. What more could I ask for? 4.5/5

Final thoughts

Pretty enjoyable zine, all in all. I think it has the highest typo count of any zine I've read so far, but most of them were pretty unobtrusive. The little art there was is all very nice, and the poems were generally more to my taste than in other zines I've read. I hate the comb binding, but I think that's pretty universal. I didn't actively hate reading it, which is good enough for me.

[gainesha]

BSG rewatch notes, cont'd:

and here it is, the New Caprica arc. which is, and this might be one of the least heretic things to say about BSG, the pinnacle. there are individual episodes, and even small arcs, that I might adore more (we will see how I'll react to them during this rewatch, but Maelstrom, Sometimes a Great Notion, the Mutiny two-parter would all be in my top 10 episodes), but this 7 episodes, from Lay Down Your Burdens up until Collaborators, are unrivaled as a storytelling high point for the show. the surprise element is gone now, obviously, but I still remember the goosebumps I got during the initial airing when the time jump happened, and how I could barely breath for the remainder of that season finale because I was just so exhilarated and electrified by what is happening on screen. that, yes, they *did* settle down, things *did* change permanently - up until they didn't, of course. but these kinds of twists are so much richer than just killing a main character.

and this is just one thing... there are so many more. like the montage at the beginning of Lay Down Your Burdens Part 1., with Bear's Something Dark is Coming music cue, and Athena saying it out loud should be the most cliched thing, but it's instead truly harrowing and haunting even if you don't know what's going to happen to all these people soon. meanwhile, Laura giggling uncontrollably on the way to the debate - the way the writers and the actors are comfortable inside these characters are paying dividends. then the murk of the occupation, the suicide bombings, the show being dark without grimdark (even if I would have wanted to spend more time in this setting, 4 episodes were a great choice, and even if some little developments here and there would have benefited maybe from more screen time, New Caprica never feels as rushed as the Pegasus arc), poor Gatea, the Galactica dropping down, Hot Dog saying "well, this should be different" before flying out... and, of course, Saul saying "not all of them", and then slowly walking away, the heartbreak, my gods.

and yet, Unfinished Business was always my "I would die on this hill" fave episode. it's the one episode I've rewatched most - both versions. I love the flashbacks to a sweeter, more hopeful time on New Caprica, even if some characters have never believed it would truly last. I watched the Extended version now, and I have somewhat conflicted thoughts, because I was thinking which version would I show someone who has not seen the show before, and the Extended version has several brilliant new scenes or crucial longer segments playing out on New Caprica. we need all of Adama and Roslin getting high, Laura's monologue about living in the moment; we need the morning after with Kara and Tigh; we definitely need Dee and Lee in the Raptor; and also, Lee confessing how much she needs Kara. but also, the flow of the originally aired episode are lightyears better, the editing rhythm of the intercutting scenes is magic, and it is gone in the Extended - moreover, the rhythm is all off. and this episode has to be a Dance in itself. (so I would probably show the aired one, and afterwards these 4-5 scenes separately)

the reveal of the reason behind the animosity between Kara and Lee, and why Lee behaves so antagonistically towards here after the time jump, why their dynamics feel so strange, plays out fantastically. the writers manage it so well, especially in contrast with the reveals in Hero, which...

okay, so Hero is bullshit, and I continue to just ignore the retcon of it all. I would be fine with the Admirality being compromised (that checks out), but Adama being the one who "started it all" (even if Roslin dismisses the thought), even just the fact that it was him on that covert mission, because, you know, he is the lead of the show, is a teeny tiny bit Forrest Gump... too much, too neat, and I get that they tried to take the Adama idol and dirty it up, but he has already been humanized and shaded quite a bit during the first 2 seasons, and I don't really know what this adds to the character or the whole main Human-Cylon conflict either that haven't been already said and explored in different, more fruitful ways. it's a shame, because all the regular actors bring their A-game here, Hogan, Olmos, McDonnell all shine.

I adore Tigh and Starbuck getting close

Jamie Bamber is so good conveying how utterly in love Lee is

Richard Hatch is so good

you could paint a mural with all the reaction shots from the boxing matches, inside and around the ring, I love everybody just grinning or glaring or just being cocky as shit

[trillscienceofficer]

Which episode(s) would you most like b7 and/or kiradax to get together in? I'm just curious where in the timeline you would want it to happen :) hope you feel better!

Thank you!! And this is an interesting question because I have very definite thoughts for both relationships

one of my answers is ‘actually, they never do’—the first Trek fic I ever wrote dealt with exact scenario for Kira and Jadzia, and other favorite stories of mine have the same approach. I love it when feelings and attraction are left unfulfilled, living on inside both people for a much longer time because they were never expressed. This is obviously made worse by Jadzia dying and her memories still living on in Ezri. If there ever was a representation of 'what could've been', I think it's every one of the conversations that Kira and Ezri have in season 7. I think a very similar approach could be very juicy for Seven and B'Elanna as well—they live in each other's heads a lot even on the show, and if you interpret their strange rivalry as feelings neither of them can articulate, not even to themselves, and consider where Seven is twenty years later... I think they might still live in each other's heads, as the kind of rapport you'd almost forgotten about but you remember suddenly at 2am and you can't sleep any longer while you ask yourself ‘I still don't know what all that was about’ and ‘I wonder where she is now’ and the idea of meeting her again makes your heartrate spike and cringe at the same time, because what would you even say after so long, and when you weren't able to talk even when you were lost at sea? (I believe @avoicefromthestars is the biggest proponent of this approach for B7)

another answer could be ‘they get together post-canon, reconnecting after years’, which is something I'm now particularly fond of when it comes to B'Elanna and Seven. I hinted at how it could happen on “Best Left” but I definitely want to write a prequel of the fic where the circumstances in which they meet again are the main focus, I already have a plot in mind. I also used to be very fond of this approach with Kira and Ezri but an actual fic about this never really panned out.

finally, if they got together in the shows... I'm very fond of the time-skip between DS9 s3 and s4 for Kira and Jadzia to get together. Like obviously it could happen also at other times during season 4, or even earlier in the show, but to me it makes more sense if it happens after Bareil is gone but before Worf arrives on the station. I think it would be perfect also because after “Facets” Jadzia has confronted a little of her self-doubt as well as, I think, any hesitance she might've had about approaching Kira. Also I think seeing Kira embody Lela Dax might really flip a switch in Jadzia's head, in a ‘it's time to take a leap’ way. After Worf gets on the show though... I now can see them getting together only as a throuple with Worf. Obviously I won't say no to fic/headcanons that take a different route, but that's what I think now.

As for Seven and B'Elanna, pretty much all the fic I wrote for them where they get together on Voyager's timeline is set midway through season 6, for the very simple reason that I believe both 6x02 “Survival Instinct” and 6x03 “Barge of the Dead” represent watershed moments for both of them and their understanding of themselves, and that's also when their rapport thaws rather significantly and without major regressions. It's more difficult to have a precise timeline on Voyager because of the syndicated nature of the show, but I also like the idea of B'Elanna by that point (especially after “Alice”) having had enough of Tom's shenanigans and them splitting up as a consequence. I realize this stretches canon a bit—season 7 definitely contends that Seven hasn't seriously thought about a romantic partner before finding out about a relationship she apparently had with Axum but can't really remember. I am still fond of the season 6 timeline regardless.

[tortoisesshells]

Writing Patterns

Tagged by @jomiddlemarch - thank you, kind friend!

Rules: list the first line of your last 10 (posted) fics and see if there's a pattern.

1. “Miss Winters,” said Jeremiah Collins, stepping out of the night into the gloom of her lamp: he had a half-shuttered lantern of his own in one hand, and a bundle of heavy wool in the other. 2. It had been late when they left the Cushings’ party; it was later, now. 3. In stretches of silence, along the long dark road from Bangor, she had had the strange sense of being alone in the world – that it was only Roger Collins and her left alive, and all the rest had gone. 4. “Spenser, from our Chaplain? Has Holy Scripture been exhausted already?” 5. Things change in Collinsport, Joe Haskell believes – the weather, hourly; Carolyn’s moods, the same – the tides, the light, the seasons. 6. There had been noise – now there wasn’t. 7. “Captain –” an embarrassed cough, trailing into an equally uncomfortable silence; the tall, grim being (thing, some part of Elizabeth Swann thought unkindly) that had been James Norrington in life bowed, and settled on formality. 8. Her mother died twice. 9. Victoria Winters woke thinking of what she had gone to bed dwelling on: that her best handkerchief was missing, and she’d lost it in the dining room of the Collinsport Inn of all places. 10. “It’s unusual, that’s all I’m saying,” said one of the men at the oars to another, shivering.

I tend to do a lot of scene-setting, I think? Not as much as I used to, maybe. I have two starting lines under 10 words, which is possibly a sign of the end times? Collinsport gets namechecked twice, which I suppose is: have I mentioned we're in (fictional) Maine recently? we're in Maine.

Tagging: @boltlightning, @enchi-elm, @kazoobreakdown, @fatherramiro, @admiraleyk, @foolishpsychopomp, @itsalongwaytotipperary, @sagiow, @starsuncounted, @shoshiwrites, and you, tumblr denizen reading this!

[folkloristico]

May I return the favor? 🤭 4, 6, 7, 22, 24, and 77 for the writing asks!

Thank you for the ask!

Let’s see…

4. How do you choose which fics to write?

I have a document—sorted by fandoms—where I keep track of all the ideas I come up with so I don’t ever forget them. From there, it’s just a matter of where inspiration leads me; I’ve realised I’m more inclined to write on the spur of the moment than to make plans and stick to them. It’s a bit problematic because I have too many WIPs, so it can take me a long time to finish one, but hey, at least it gets finished… eventually.

6. What’s the last line you wrote?

Under a certain number, all ages kind of blurred together in her mind, and Griffin had not yet stopped to think of the princess as a child; the way Faragonda and the others talked about her did not help to mitigate this image.

7. Post a snippet from a WIP.

Their surroundings shimmered like the faint memory of a dream, and they were in the library once more. Seen like this, in such stark contrast to the crumbling ruins of its truest version, the view left Bloom transfixed; but there was little past the illusion. The borders to the far corners were blurry, and no sound could be detected. The air smelled like nothing at all. Daphne might not be dead after all—but what else was this, if not even worse a fate? “Have you really been staying here alone?” Bloom forced herself to look Daphne in the eyes. “All of this time?” Daphne gave a faint shake of her head. “Not quite. I’m barely aware of what’s happening. I’m… too weak to remain present. I feel the strongest when you’re close by.” “Because of the Dragon Flame?” “Our family’s power, yes.” Bloom faltered, averted her eyes. “Forgive me,” Daphne said swiftly. “I know it must be strange for you.” “No—” Bloom trailed off. A thought occurred to her, and she surveyed the room once more as if it had suddenly changed. “You can’t hear my mind in here—can you?” Daphne gave a laugh. It was a gentle sound, the most alive thing there was about her. “It doesn’t work like that. We share a link, is all. And—I’m a pretty good judge of character, if I may say so myself.” 

Daphne angst + library mentioned <3

And I must say, I’m really enjoying writing Bloom now! 

22. Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process? How do you come up with titles?

Honestly, I do anything my brain tells me to do. Sometimes I start writing a fic and the title comes to me shortly thereafter; some other time I even build an idea around a title. But other times I’ve changed the name of an already posted story on a whim, because I really can’t make up my mind. If I’m really struggling with the title, I skim through a bunch of lyrics of my favourite songs until something comes up. I think at least ten of my WIPs are named after a Hozier or Florence song.

24. How do you choose whose POV to write in?

The most important thing to me when choosing a POV is asking myself: What am I trying to achieve with this chapter, and which POV would benefit the most?

For instance, I have this canon-divergent WIP from season 2 that focuses on Diaspro and Bloom while they’re being held prisoner by Darkar. Something happens in the first chapter that only Bloom can be a witness of—the Dragon Flame being the reason why. Long story short, she’s ‘trapped’ in her own head—it’s Daphne that helps her break free—so I’m using Diaspro to show what’s happening during the time Bloom isn’t awake. After that, the story becomes more Diaspro-focused, and there would be no reason to switch to Bloom’s POV once more. In another WIP of mine, not Winx related, a character is keeping a secret from the others, and I’ve decided to switch to her only when that secret is revealed. I try to at best have a vague outline before jumping on the writing phase of a longfic, and I quite enjoy the phase where I’m figuring out the best way to mess with the POVs.

If we’re discussing first person vs third person, in fanfiction I will always favour third person over first. I might consider writing in first person if it’s the same POV the book is written in, but generally speaking, I find first-person very off-putting in fanfiction because the characters have a pre-established voice, and it’s quite hard to grasp. However, I disagree with the general sentiment that first person is bad even outside of fanfiction; most of my favourite books ever are written in first person.

77. Why do you enjoy writing fanfiction?

Because once I get an idea stuck in my mind, I can’t get rid of it unless I write it down. It’s like, I don’t know, setting the silly guys in your head free. I love writing, and fanfiction allows you to do so without the stress of striving for perfection or focusing too much on what other people will think. 

[circusmania]

SIN Chapter 9

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Notes: Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 10 Chapter 11

♡

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Let's try this again.

I woke up, gasping. A nightmare…

I slid out of bed and yawned. The floor creaked as I walked toward the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror, god… I looked like a mess. My hair looked like a drenched mop. 

I ran my hand through my hair and flinched… argh… since when did I have a bump on my head? I must have bumped my head yesterday… or something. 

I did my business, brushed my teeth and got out. Opening the closet door, I put on a navy blue hoodie. My eyes landed on a pair of jeans. 

Good enough. 

I put them on and walked down the stairs. I heard the bustling and movements of my parents. I've always been a dependent person. I always clung to those close to me…kind of like my boyfriend-

“Hello? Don't make me repeat myself. Do you want a sandwich for lunch or not?” My mom brought me back to Earth.

“O-oh! Yes please, Mom!” 

She smiled. 

I sat next to my father, he was submerged in his newspaper. I grabbed the bowl of cereal that had already been made.

“Hm. Remember that church down the street?” My father spoke.

I assumed he was speaking to my mother, so I stayed quiet. 

“Yes.” My mother sighed. “What about it?”

“It burned down.”

My mother gasped to fill the silence that rested in the kitchen.

“Did… oh dear… what happened?” 

My father shrugged. “No one knows. Could've been an accident… or something else.”

My mother leaned against the counter and placed a hand on her face.

“Did that priest, oh… what was he called again?”

“Father Pierre.”

My mother looked toward me, and my dad only spared me a glance.

How… did I remember his name? I must've read his name on those pamphlets that he kept passing around…

“I hope you weren't fooling around with him…” I shook my head.

My father cleared his throat.

“Regardless, there were no bodies found amongst the rubble. So, he could still be alive.”

My mother shook her head and turned her back to finish whatever she was doing. I finished my cereal and put my bowl into the sink. My mom handed me a paper bag, which I stuffed into my backpack.

“Well, I'm off to school!” I put on my shoes and my mom kissed me on the cheek.

“Be safe, hun.”

“I… will.” I smiled, waved them goodbye and shut the door behind me. 

Sighing, I walked off the porch and commenced my walk toward my school. As I walked, I passed the burned-down church. Ashes filled the air and a strange sense of guilt overcame me. 

Ugh… I quickly power-walked away. My school came into view, Cheshire High. The smell and feeling quickly vanished as I saw my three friends. 

Omar, Judy and Vanessa.

Judy Presley never missed a trend. She always put her light brown hair in a ponytail with a white bow, wore perfect matching season clothes, and had well-made makeup. She even had matching baby blue eyes to go with her looks. I'm honestly surprised she'd rather hang out with us than the more popular kids. 

Next to Judy was Vanessa Kareem, Judy's BFF (as she calls it). Vanessa and she have always been friends. She was pretty much the spitting image of Judy except for her black silky hair that was in a grunge haircut, her blue eyes, and her much paler skin.

And finally, my best friend, Omar Thomerson. We're practically convinced we were best friends in our past lives. I've always thought of him as the geek in our friendship. He's always been obsessed with any fantasy fiction he can grab on. Greek mythology, science-fiction, astrology, you name it. He has dark brown hair with a shag haircut, freckles, and brown eyes. His typical wear is a worn-out hoodie and cargo pants.

Wow… I'm getting some sort of déjà vu.

I quickly ran toward them, catching Judy's attention. 

“Hello everyone!”

“Hi, buddy! How have you been?” Omar asks.

I shrug. “The same, nothing new.”

“Except for that church being burnt to a crisp,” Judy says.

“Yeah, my bus passed by it this morning. The windows were open and that horrid smell crept in… ugh!” Vanessa adds.

I nodded. “To be honest, that church and its priest always rubbed me the wrong way. Maybe it's for the best…?” It felt wrong to say that.

They all nodded in unison. 

“I guess God wasn't on his side.” Omar shrugged. 

No one laughed. Something hung above our heads.

“Well, shall we get going?” Judy asked while pointing to the school. 

We nodded and followed her. I put my hand in my pocket and — wait a second. 

I stopped walking and reached into my pocket to pull out a paper. It was folded and incredibly creased. I don't remember having written anything. I carefully opened it. Remarking that the paper had a small splatter of red on it, paint perhaps. Judy likes to paint, maybe she slipped this into my pants when I didn't notice?

The handwriting was messy, and I could tell that the message was written in a hurry. However, I noticed that it was MY handwriting. 

I read the message. 

Each word that I read made it seem like I was unlocking new passageways in my brain. And suddenly, it clicked, well, more like it flashed in front of my eyes. 

Everything that had happened moments ago… everything that I had forgotten… Marcus. 

What… why can't I remember what happened yesterday? What are my parents' names? Why… can't I remember anything from this timeline?

Maybe because there was no yesterday. Yesterday was when Marcus kidnapped me and then… Uhm… Killed me. I looked back at the paper, that splatter of red… blood… my blood.

I checked my head for the bump, and sure enough, it was there.

I sighed, remembering the gruesome scene I was forced to bear. 

What about Judy? Omar? Vanessa? 

They were just going about their day when they knew of it all. It's not their fault, but anger couldn't help but rise in me. What would Marcus show himself as now? My neighbour? My friend? My teacher?? 

I grimace at the thought. 

The bell rang and shivers went down my spine that urged me to run to class. But I stopped. What even was the point anymore? It wouldn't matter anyway, since my whole life is a lie. 

I ended up walking to class. My teacher left me off with a warning, but was disappointed with my first impression… on the new kid.

“Marcus…” I blurted out like AN IDIOT.

I hoped Marcus didn't hear it, but he did, he gave me a big smile. And it wasn't a nice one. 

We both took our seats, I sat next to Judy, and he sat in the back. 

It's like a repeat, except in this timeline, Judy and I aren't dating. Suddenly, Judy starts to whisper to me. 

“What's with this guy? He's so … depressed, looking.” Word for word. 

I debated on agreeing with what she said, but that would eventually lead to Judy having to switch seats with Marcus. 

“Shh, Judy, we're in class,” I told her. 

I couldn't see her face, but I could feel her confused expression. Either way, It didn't stop her from continuing to talk. God… have I ever noticed how annoying she was?

“Judy! Since you can't help but disturb your peer, switch seats with Marcus.”

I grimaced as Judy tried to defend herself. 

Marcus took his stuff and sat next to me, I didn't look at him. Out of the corner of my eyes, I could see Marcus displaying his many poems that I complimented last time… last time. 

It's making me question what exactly am I accomplishing by faking this. I need to change something… I need to put an end to this timeline, permanently. 

I felt staring, I turned to see Marcus looking at me. It doesn't seem like he knows I know yet. Mm… his staring reminds me of those gorging red eyes… they were thankfully covered by his bangs right now. 

“Do you need something?” I asked, trying to mask any hatred. 

He looked at me, a bit confused. I held my breath. For a second, he didn't smile, and I thought I had blown my cover. However, he quickly returned to his normal demeanour. My shoulders relaxed as he simply replied: 

“No.”

I turned back to face the teacher. Their voice drowned itself as my brain deemed whatever they were teaching unimportant. Questions started to rise like alerts in my head. 

How old am I really?

What else do I remember besides my name?

What else is there beyond this town?

All these questions continued to rise, just like bile…-

Before I could process what was happening, my head turned, and I threw up on the floor. I could hear chairs screeching as students stood up to avoid the vomit. Then, a cold hand lifted my hair from my face.

“Marcus, please take him to the nurse's office.” My teacher said nonchalantly.

I feel the same hands grab my shoulders and lift me to my feet. He, Marcus, makes sure I don't walk into the colourful puddle as we walk out of the class. I fight the urge to flinch away as he walks me into the nurse's office and makes me sit on the bed. 

The nurse comes out, she smiles when she sees me.

“You again? You practically live here! This is the 3rd time this week only.”

I have never seen this woman in my entire life. 

She wiped my mouth clean as Marcus loomed over my shoulder. She then put a pill in my hand.

“Make sure you eat something before taking it.” She turned to Marcus. “Young man, if you please, watch over him for the time being.” 

Marcus nodded and we watched the nurse leave. He crouched down in front of me, I backed away instinctively. 

“Feeling better? You've been acting off all morning… Do you not recognize your boyfriend?”

My heart stopped, and I couldn't tell if he was joking or not, so I played it off with a muffled chuckle. He chuckled as well and kissed my cheek. 

“I thought I'd surprise you by applying to your school… but it seemed like you're the one who surprised me first.”

I guess in this timeline, he's my boyfriend, a huge step from the other timeline. I fought the urge to not back away when Marcus caressed my face. 

The bell suddenly rang, there was no way class went by that fast.

I stood up. “I'm feeling better… thanks … Marcus.” 

I walked over to the door and reached for the doorknob.

“Woah, woah, where do you think you're going without me?” He holds my hand.

I don't say anything as he opens the door himself. I noticed a trashcan near it, I swiftly dropped the pill in it. I can't trust anything.  

We walked over to my friends, who were just oddly standing in the hallway.

“Ohhh~! Who's this?” Vanessa remarks while Judy squints.

“Woah! You already romanced the new kid?” Omar playfully punched my shoulder.

They were all fake… all except Judy, who was giving Marcus dirty looks. For some reason, Judy always seemed to be the bad guy. Hmm… I think I have an idea. Judy could be the only person that I have on my side.

“Judy! Oh, god! I just remembered I need to talk to you about something super top secret!”

“Wh-” 

I grabbed her arm. “Talk to you later Marcus, Omar and Vanessa! Try to get to know each other!”

I dragged her away to the library, but she pushed me into a nearby janitorial closet. 

“What are you doing?” She asks as she narrows her eyes. “Want to tell me why you're dating that weirdo? Or perhaps why you threw up in class?”

“I… Judy.” I sighed and shook my head. “Listen, I know about everything.” She tenses. “Marcus, the timelines… uhm… are you ok?”

Judy's eyes were like two big white saucers. She grabbed my arms, I thought she was about to shake me.

“You're… you… how?” 

“Long story… but Judy, how can I put a stop to this?”

She shook her head. “I'm… I'm…not sure. I would say to try to kill Marcus, but that's quite literally impossible.” Judy said, with no reaction. “I've tried.”

“You… are like… weirdly… okay with all this gorey shit…” I remembered the scene I had seen of her body swinging peacefully in that art room. 

“I stopped caring long ago.” She looked me in the eyes. 

How long is long ago?

“Until we come up with something, try to act the best you can. We can't let Marcus find out.” 

I nodded and we both exited the closet. 

“Can we tell Omar and V-” She quickly shushed me. 

“Everybody in this school is his eyes. You can't say this stuff out loud”

I looked around, everyone was minding their own business. But… it was wiser to just believe Judy.

Marcus patiently awaited my return with Omar and Vanessa. 

“Done talking so soon?” Marcus strolled toward me. 

“It's not any of your business, now, is it?” Judy snapped at him and crossed her arms.

Marcus looked at me and I bit my lip.

“Judy… don't talk to my boyfriend like that. Can't we all just get along?” She scoffed and turned her head away. 

God, she was good at this.

₊✩‧₊˚౨ 📅🕚⌚ ৎ˚₊✩‧₊

I didn't get a chance to talk with Judy for the last 3 weeks. Marcus always seemed to be around me. I sigh. If I remember correctly, in the last timeline, something was… different. 

This must be the first time that the church isn't here. Marcus is stronger… like he just broke through a barrier. If I hadn't found that note, Marcus could've easily messed with my emotions. 

Either way, the only way to stop these loops is to kill Marcus. No more waiting. However, 3 people stood in my way.

Omar, Judy and Vanessa. 

They are like a force field around Marcus. A force field that messes with me and my emotions. As long as they are there, they will mess with my perception of normality. Whether intentionally or not, they are always making me think that perhaps I'm the crazy one. That perhaps the nightmare 3 weeks ago was just a bad dream. I can't risk forgetting everything and succumbing to him. 

I was thinking of sparing Judy since she's the only one who's actually trying to make a difference, who's actually still fighting. But, something is telling me that she would prefer to be dead than continue living. 

I pull at my hair in frustration. Thinking about how I'll feel after taking the life of my three best friends isn't making anything seem better. 

Though, those aren't my 3 friends anymore… Just shells of what they used to be. If they were in my position, they would do the same.

I'm sure of it.

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