#which i think is very apt yk

[omegamoo]

jimmy dies first yes yes but his curse is called the canary curse for a reason. he dies first (usually) but what his death actually means is chaos. it means the end has arrived. it means nothing good will come of the next few days/hours/sessions. lizzie's death doesn't signify more chaos. jimmy's, on the other hand... in the middle of the wither/warden battle... yeah.

[itsalwaysdark]

and when i live on my own ill be able to decorate like real life decorate ive never gotten to do that in real life b4

[nomaishuttle]

now heres the thing is my rule is i have to live on my own for a year before im allowed to get a pet but also consider what if i had a little friend .

[mattiebluebird]

Yk that post that's like ‘signal is the spiritual successor to nightwing’ bc I DO & IVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT IT NON-STOP.

And the comics pretty much confirm it (To Me) in Grayson #15.

So in this issue each of the Robins, minus Steph (RIP Steph) get paired off with one of the We Are Robin gang and give them their own advice on what it means to be Robin.

Tim—whose main problem with this whole thing is that they don't know these kids, how can they trust them?—gets paired with Andre Cipriani, a mob kid whose dad was murdered by a rival gang when he was eight years old. Tim trains Dre by having him fight blindfolded. He tells Dre that being a Robin is about truth and investigation, which makes sense, right? Tim became a Robin by figuring out Batman and Robin’s secret identity (keep this in mind, all the Robins’ advice links to their origin).

To be a Robin, you have to understand what you don't know. And then you must seek to know it. You must always ask: how can I see into the dark? Batman once told me, being a Robin can be summarized into one word: investigation.

These two were an interesting choice to pair up. I would've thought they'd put Dre with Jason, given their violent tendencies—Dre is smart, but at this point in the comics doesn't strike me as particularly investigative. Then again, right after this arc he goes undercover in a gang, so maybe he learned something?

Speaking of learning something: at first I thought they should've paired Dre with Steph (#teamcriminaldads lmao), and while that would be an interesting team, Dre did learn from Tim. If Riko were present in this issue, she would've been a good fit for Steph, as she idolizes the Batgirls and Steph was both a Batgirl and a Robin. Plus, Steph and Riko are both brave & have mean streaks, something that Riko has trouble showing because of her shyness. Steph’s advice probably would've been along the lines of “being a Robin is about defiance”.

Besides, if Tim and Dre weren't paired up, we never would've gotten this interaction.

— You like Liszt.

— What?

— Franz Liszt. The composer. You play the piano. I looked you up. People who play the piano like Liszt.

Points to Tim for the most autistic small talk ever. ‘You like this, which I know because I researched you in a totally non-creepy way.’ Amazing. 10/10.

Dax gets paired with Jason. They're interesting parallels. Dax is the inventor/mechanic of the team, but also sort of the wild card with very strong morals, like Robin!Jason in a way. Like Jason, Dax’s father is (implied to be) a crook, though they took different moral directions because of that—Dax is completely opposed to gun violence.

Anyways, Jason's main reservation is that you can't have Robin without Batman. And I guess he decided to solve this issue by just becoming Batman & making the WAR crew relive his origin story by stealing tires from the mob.

Y'know, kid, Batman once told me, being a Robin comes down to one word: confidence.

Jason Todd, the Crime Alley street kid who had the balls (and the skills) to steal Batman's tires and get away with it. Sort of. Confidence, indeed.

Damian's problem with the Robins is, of course, that they're weak, and strength (according to him) can't be trained; you either got it or you don't. He gets paired with Izzy, who probably has the toughest home life of the WAR crew. Her brother's in a gang (that he regularly beats her up for not joining), and she's failing all her classes because she's too busy working night shifts at her mom's restaurant to sleep or do homework.

So Damian's advice to her is pretty apt:

Batman told me that there is one word that captures the essence of being Robin. Suffering.

Damian and Izzy are both outwardly surly, stubborn characters who have had to fight to survive. Notably, Izzy is the first of the crew to almost resort to killing/guns (in WAR #6). She's also probably the best fighter in the WAR crew after Dre and Riko. She does dancing, gymnastics, judo, and kick-boxing.

And, finally, we reach the point of this whole post: Dick & Duke.

Duke deduces Dick's secret identity in like .5 seconds.

— I've solved a lot of hard in my time. This ain't hard.

— No. No, it wasn't hard. Not for you. Again, Duke Thomas?

Dick: You discovered my secret identity!

Duke: What? Like its hard?

After scoping out their strengths and weaknesses, Dick sends the Robins on individual assignments: Dre and Tim to investigate, Dax and Jason to cause a distraction, Izzy and Damian to apprehend Robo-Batman/Gordon.

Dick brings Duke on to a roof for a stake-out, where they have this exchange.

— You think only the originals understand how to be Robin?

— Nope.

— Yeah. Me neither.

Then it turns out that Dick actually turned them all in to the cops because he wanted them out of harm's way. He's been watching Duke for a while and he knows he's scared of heights, so he led him onto a roof he knew he couldn't get off of. Just before they part ways, Dick imparts his Crucial Robin Advice:

Batman once wais to me that being a Robin is about one thing. Family.

(I find this whole thing super ironic considering Dick's whole aside concerning the Robins was the fact that it doesn't matter if people know you're manipulating them as long as it works.)

The point of Robin? Family. Dick and Duke are alike in this way. Dick only became Robin to get justice for his parents’ murder. Duke only joined WAR to find his parents.

Their origins and motivations are similar, and so are the characters themselves. Dick is often called the world's second-greatest detective next to Batman himself. Duke is a child prodigy—one of our first introductions to his character is when he tried to solve the Riddler's riddles in Zero Year. He loves puzzles. He's an amazing detective.

And, of course, one of the things we know and love about Nightwing is his inherent kindness, something that's present throughout Duke’s entire character arc. Even their hero names, Signal and Nightwing, are parallels of each other (light and dark). Batman’s first sidekick and his last. And, like Nightwing, Signal formed his own team (WAR) with no help from the others (except Alfred ig).

Of course, the entire point of Signal’s character is that he's not just a Robin. He's something different. It reminds me of that post that's like—’poor dick grayson, originator of a legacy he never meant to be a legacy, crushed with guilt and jealousy when he looks at all those who came after’. To me at least, it makes sense that Nightwing’s successor would've never been a Robin at all.

[skrewtiny]

Maybe it’s just me, buuuuuuuut…

Colby fits actually quite well as Seymour from Little Shop of Horrors

*i’m thinking more the Broadway(?) Musical, not the Film, but eh both really*

Behold… visualization, and then i’ll explain my thought process

Yes the Plant is not consistent in the two but i figured out how to draw the plant a bit more to my liking after the colored picture HHHHhhhhHHhhhH..anyway.

Major Spoilers for Little Shop of Horrors it’s inevitable i’m sorry—

*for those who aren’t familiar with Lsoh, it’s a ‘musical about a timid florist named Seymour who discovers a carnivorous plant called Audrey II(Which i’ve named Cassie II, for the sake of this), which brings him sudden success by attracting customers with its strange beauty, but at a terrible price as the plant demands increasingly gruesome sustenance, forcing Seymour to make dark choices to maintain his newfound fame and pursue his love interest, Audrey’, thanks Google lollll! Btw this is going to be kinda long so rip attention span-*

First off, we know Colby is a fan of Herbology, and i’d assume just plants in general, as well as i’d assume he knows quite a bit about them. So working at a Florist Shop and having Strange Plants as a hobby isn’t far off, in my opinion.

And then we get to the Plant itself. Frankly, sad as it might be, i do think Colby could be sweet-talked into feeding the plant the ‘gruesome’ things, given the correct incentive(this isn’t to say he absolutely would, but yk). In this case, it’s fame, wealth, wanting for absolutely nothing, and *cough* Cassandra to like him back *cough*.

If we think back to the ending of Playing with Dragons Fire, MC basically says/thinks ‘I’m glad Colby gets to be the center of attention for once’, or something similar. And yeah, Colby very much gets overshadowed by the company he keeps, pretty much wherever he goes. Whether it’s Fischer, Cassandra, or anyone else, really. He’s not the most eccentric, and doesn’t actively try to get the attention onto him, unlike…certain..brothers…of his..but given the offer to have that attention, to be known as a ‘Botanical Genius’ of sorts, to pretty much be a celebrity and have the love of hundreds- i think he would be tempted. Just add in the rest and it’s a done deal, really.

That, and the Plant being able to get him to do things isn’t really out of pocket or anything. Going back to the Black Lake Lullaby Q&A, it says:

"Oh, yes, definitely. Fischer's eyes are a slightly darker shade of mean. No? Okay, so maybe you can't tell the brothers apart by looking at them, but they do have different personalities. Fischer is the leader, more apt to draw his wand, and always eager to start a fight.

Colby is the sensitive soul who hesitates before casting that curse (sometimes) and would rather not get into trouble but has difficulty saying no to his brother.”

Now of course Fischer isn’t a carnivorous Plant, but the concept is the same. Colby has a bit of difficulty saying no, likely more so to those he cares about. And He’s been taking care of this Plant for quite some time, talks to the thing, affectionately calls it ‘Twoey’- and yeah i get it’s a plant and how close could he really be with it, but…still.

Not to mention, the first k!ll the Plant suggests is Audrey’s very(TW) Abusive and Toxic boyfriend, whom Seymour/Colby already very much dislikes for what he does to Audrey, and he really wants to help her out of the Relationship so she doesn’t get hurt. Using that as a manipulation tactic to get him to give in, the Plant has a good chance. After all, ‘How bad could it really be, that the jerk’s gone’(i forget the actual quote but it’s something along those lines).

And of course, Colby would eventually come to his senses and feel guilty, what with the things he did just to keep the Plant alive and thus keep his selfish fame ongoing. That would absolutely drive him crazy, and i think he would decide to quit feeding the plant, leaving it to d!e even at the cost of success. But the one cost he realizes he can’t well live with, is losing Cassandra/Audrey. He believes she only realized she liked him because of the fame and success, and is afraid to lose that. So he can’t stop, can he…? No.

That mindset ends quickly however when the Plant tries to eat the Girl, in which his resolve quickly hardens and he would indeed attempt to chop the plant to pieces.

In the Broadway(?) Musical i’m pretty sure he does not succeed, but in the Movie he does…so, yeah. That’s fun.

So yeah! Those are my thoughts, sorry i’m bad at explaining my thoughts, i hope that was coherent and made some sliver of sense!

Quite a bit of it is likely headcanon and it might not line up with yall’s view of him, but yeah this is just me :>

*P.S. Cassandra does NOT fit Audrey whatsoever, but she is Colby’s canon crush, so i can pretend……..also here’s that snipped from the Q&A(on the Wiki cuz the actual Q&A is gone), i don’t want to say things are canon without proof, which is ALSO probably just a me thing, but yeah :D*

[onlyjaeyun]

may i ask what u had in mind for jayke's backstories :0 if we rlly wanna get into it then i can see jayke being fun and carefree BECAUSE they weren't able to act that way at home,,,

maybe jay has strict rich parents who always wanted him to be mature and poised when he was just a kid who wanted to play w his friends :( he learned how to chef it up thru the private chefs at home and learned how to look after others from the butlers and maids that raised him. he's also an only child so the friendgroup are the siblings hes always wanted and he def found a brother in jake so early on i his life bc he was rlly lonely as a child /:

as for jake... he has an older brother (ima age him up hella to fit the narrative) and his older brother cared a lot for him but he was the picture-perfect child and their parents pressured jake to follow in his older brother's footsteps at such a young age. like cmon he was 7 being forced to study physics bc his brother was aceing his high school physics exams on the way to go to the most prestigious colleges w a physics degree. and with their big age gap his brother didnt have time to play w him much bc he was alsays studying and their parents were so focused on the older sibling. jake finds a brother within jay bc hes also lonely and jay was the only person he could be himself around.

now that ive thought ab this man jayke as a duo is so precious to me 🥺 theyre brothers thru and thru bc they found a home within one another. jake always so excited to try new recipes jay is trying out, jay loving to model and style jake, jake sending jay goofy selfie updates of his day to jay, jay being the first person jake calls in the middle of the night for a late night convenience store run which leads to some crazy shenanigans. jayke also building their first lego set tgth when they were 9 and it's displayed in a glass case in the living room of their shared apt.

im sobbing thanks for reading all of this i didnt expect to get super into 😭

-💫

NONIE WHY DID THIS MAKE ME CRY 💀💀💀💀 i'm too emotionally attached to these characters its not healthy.

honestly i love love love your thoughts and theories and i think mine are pretty similar in some ways but not quite and that just makes it so much more exciting 🥺

yk me, i'm just...brutal when it comes to backstories so pls be aware......

poison!jake was raised by a single mother who was never home because she worked so much. she worked late evening and night shifts and would sleep throughout the day so jake basically had to raise himself. she never physically abused him but because he was her main source of exhaustion (since she had to work to provide for him) she's slowly started growing hateful towards him and jake basically tried all of his life to please her just to fail miserably. his mother was never a mother to him, father not in the picture at all and after years of verbal and mental abuse he found a safe haven in jay. they met in middle school and for jake it was quite clear from the very beginning that that guy was his soulmate. he'd never openly say it bc they're too goofy and unserious for that (bc of their childhoods) but there's no person on this planet he's as grateful for as he is for jay.

jay's backstory is kinda similar to heeseung's just the other way around. up until he was seven he had the most picture perfect family with two loving parents who loved their son and each other with everything they have, until his father passed away in a car accident and his mother started resenting her son because he survived and the love of her life didn't. similar to the parks and heeseung he unfortunately was also mentally, physically, emotionally and verbally abused up until he moved out for college and the only person in his life, besides his friend, to show him love was his grandmother. she was the one taking care of him when his mother was at work and she'd even cry with him whenever she spotted new bruises. the only reason he goes back to his hometown every now and then is to visit her grave and keep her updated on his life.

both jake and jay dont have contact to their mothers so they're each other's only family. jay always introduces jake as his brother and whenever people ask him who his favorite person is jake responds with jay. they really are each other's rocks and im literally tearing up writing this URGH

[reachfolk]

one big pattern that i've noticed a long time ago about my writing is that i always write from the perspective of an observer. with most scenes, there's usually a specific character who's the central focus, and i kind of intentionally tell the story from another character's perspective. the pov character peeling away at the layers of what the main character is feeling and thinking.

this isn't true a hundred percent of the time, but it's definitely noticeable in most of my stories. the robin/esme piece i did recently was largely about esme, and that's why i chose to tell it through robin's eyes. he still has a whole character arc of his own of course, but at it's conception, the story started with esme.

and that's pretty much how i approach most of the longfic (yes it's still being drafted shhhhh). lucien is the perfect pov character because of how deeply observant and empathetic he is. he's got a whole story arc of his own, but a very central part of how that arc unfolds is that he's just always taking in information about the people around him. alex and ophelia are very much the main characters, and he's a supporting role in their story. kinda like how in glass onion, benoit blanc is the guy whose eyes we're seeing through, but the story is ABOUT andy.

it wouldn't be accurate to say lucien is an observer per se, because he does engage pretty deeply in everything going on, but he's like... a guest. which i think is a pretty apt description of his role not just in the narrative but on the land itself. he's not of the reach, and he's really just trying to be a good guest on land that has been colonized by settlers.

i don't really know how well i nail it. i hope the execution of it is good, but i do get in my own head about it a lot of the time. my intent in doing this is usually to bring the reader closer, to make them experience the text in the same way the pov character is. you're observing, you're learning, you're piecing together a puzzle of who these strangers are. that's exactly what lucien is doing. he's in an unfamiliar place with unfamiliar people. he's learning things that are completely foreign to him. obviously everyone reading my fic is probably very familiar with reach lore and anti-imperialist thought lol, but you get what i mean.

but i do sometimes worry that like. does structuring my stories like this have the opposite effect? does it create more distance than intimacy? but also, there's a lot of points in the part of the story that i'm writing right now where lucien is really uncertain of his place, because he both feels very close to alexandria and very distant from her, and that weird dichotomy is something she creates very intentionally in her relationships with people. so who knows, maybe it's not a bad thing if it's a little Awks for the audience lol, at least right now. it might change with time, esp as lucien grows closer to alex and understands her better.

or maybe i'm overthinking it. never hurts to be intentional in ur writing tho so yk, reflection is always good

[bisluthq]

Nat, there's an astrology book, The Secret Language of Birthdays or The Secret Language of Relationships, by Gary Goldschneider, it's on internet archive, they explain cusps very well if youre interested. As *sciency* as you can get with astrology lol

So ok lol story time because the other anon got me good and now I’m pondering it and I don’t like that because I… don’t believe in astrology… but last time my Stoner Friend came round for dinner, she got a bit stoned and her and my bf were watching some weird documentary as they’re apt to do, and I went to play with the cats and drink and probably write with you guys, and then I heard them discussing astrology and I was like “come the fuck on, neither of you believe in this shit and Mr Bislut you don’t even have the stoned excuse your ass had like one glass of wine at dinner” but their broader point was like most cultures have some form of astrology/things people learn from when people are born same as all cultures have some kinds of deities and therefore there must be truth to it. Which like… I was annoyed at the time because I love that friend but she overstays and chooses shit on TV that I don’t want to watch because her dumbass gets stoned - when she’s sober we have the same taste - and my bf likes that kinda weird stuff so gets into it and idk it all annoys me (LOVE the girl but eh) but now I think about it they had a point.

I am trying to read much more longform nonfiction this year as a goal for myself (rather than fiction and articles) and idk if this book counts as NF based on yk the topic but I’ll give it a shot.

[itsalwaysdark]

ome day i will be so normal

[onewomancitadel]

Is there any take or opinion on CRWBY that you'd want to slap people over the head with, if you could? As in, should you one day somehow get the willing attention of the whole fandom, what's something you'd want to tell them or convince them about. Like, yk when you see a post and it's something you don't agree with and have evidence for why it's wrong but they'd never listen? You get the chance to make em listen, what do you say.

I MEANT telling FNDM what to think of the Show.

I'm pretty sure this sideblog functions as a sort of semi-manifesto for all the things I wish people cared about or understood with R/WBY, but then also half the beauty of life is other people having different opinions and making you think differently.

I also think there are a few different camps of people whom I disagree with, all for varying reasons, sometimes as simple as narrative illiteracy and a discomfort with storytelling logic, then others who just have bad taste. I don't think either are the sort to be 'fixed' or convinced, which is kind of why I don't really spend time on my blog being polemic or reblogging posts that I disagree with. It's not like there's much to be got from it. I might make posts in response to prevailing attitudes I see though, that's definitely a thing I do, but there's nobody in particular I'm trying to talk shit about.

There's also the fact that I'm a very small fan that I imagine few agree with. I do sometimes lol at my URL, because I mostly picked it for the euphony (one syllable, two syllables, three syllables) and to a degree the imagery (so it doesn't need the Classics context to 'get it') but I didn't think it would end up being so apt. I don't really feel like getting trapped in a tragic cycle of kinslaying, though.

So, I don't want to be presumptuous, because I'm sure there are a lot of people who want to change my mind. Unfortunately, my interest in fairytales, symbolism, redemption arcs, monsters and maidens, poetic storytelling, etc. are all here to say and not likely to go, and that's why I like R/WBY. I think that probably explains some of my beef, which I've commented on before: I definitely resonate with the fairytale logic and storytelling in R/WBY as opposed to the shared anime storytelling. Even in terms of anime, my favourite films are Angel's Egg and Ghost in the Shell, so two both deeply Jungian and feminine-driven narratives.

(Source for the first one, second one I'm not sure where it's from cuz I saved it in like 2016, but that user has a ton of beautiful .gifs, so wonderful. They're delicate work to make)!

That's sort of the thing, I know R/WBY is somewhat a divisive show, but R/WBY is basically a show that directly caters to me in a lot of ways that I didn't directly expect (having been a fan since V1). So for whatever its flaws are, the things I love about it are things that are hard for me to find in other stories. I love mythopoeism and the study of narrative, so a show about stories and real stories that are mystical is like my favourite thing ever.

So, I've sort of said it before, but I wish sometimes people would just let R/WBY be R/WBY and understand R/WBY's storytelling style, I guess - perhaps some of the fault is on the text, perhaps some of it isn't. I also think that there are some really sick things about the FNDM that I'd honestly wish to keep off my blog, but I shall say that I can really feel the love in the show and I don't get the sense there's any spiteful storytelling at all. I don't think it's cynical, either. I think it's a show made out of love, and it's hard for me to not enjoy that element. I'm burnt by corporate storytelling and I don't want anything to do with it, and I also don't get the sense R/WBY is corporate.

I mean, in some ways my approach is more finding what you love, as opposed to obsessing over what you hate. Even if you hatewatch R/WBY there's clearly something about it that intrigues you for whatever reason, and figuring that out is fun.

To touch a particularly explosive topic, I guess the question is: what is it about Ironwood that you liked, and really wanted to see remain heroic? If Ironwood's fall hurt you, how do you think Oz felt, with that happening to him again and again? Do you think it hurt Salem at all for her own underlings to betray her? Like, isn't it more interesting to ask yourself why things upset you? This is a genuine thing I started doing myself and asking why you like or dislike things and what they're trying to do in the story can be helpful. I actually really liked Ironwood and was deeply saddened by his fall arc, but I also loved his fall arc. By the same stroke, isn't the idea of how a hero or a villain (Cinder) is made interesting? I get that there are concerns about Ironwood's fall beyond thematic resonance, and sadly some of those are outside the scope of my post to address - some worldbuilding concerns I've seen - but I also ask that people who are sympathetic to Ironwood similarly extend that sympathy to all of his own underlings.

On the note of Ironwood, I think it's important to remember that all of the R/WBY characters are in some way analogous to each other, and doing things for each other's character arcs. That's why I think the redemption arcs of the show - beginning with Weiss, in fact, and Blake's own history - are gradually building up to Cinder's, and that Ironwood's descent into villainy was intentionally contrasted against her rise into heroism, and why she is the way she is. (Also, I hate to drag this up now... but I think that there's a reason Cinder was invested in bringing down Atlas, and I don't think Cinder was the only young girl victimised by the city (obviously, that's what Mantle's all about), but I also mean in the sense that Ironwood would have been morally uncomfortable with the Glass Unicorn's activities but probably not enough to actually stop it. He would make a very impassioned speech about how bad it was and how difficult it would be to shut down, though).

Picture to break up the text and also, she should have just stopped being difficult and waited to get into Atlas Academy, then she could have been normal and well-adjusted like Winter. Oh, wait.

But then you run into that issue of people thinking Cinder's an unimportant hysterical bitch, and like, you can't win against those people.

I can only tell you what I love and value about the show (warts and all), and what I think the unique things it's doing are (and honestly, I really thought I would only get this mythic storytelling the once with my previous fandom with similar themes of hope and redemption), and why I think its earnest sense of emotion is very compelling to me. I love love and truth that saves the world and not being ashamed about it. I love that scene where Ruby's being carried by Weiss' Summon and is then protected and aided by Jinn (the feminine spirit) to use her silver eyes, like... R/WBY isn't trying to be cynical or ironic or make you feel bad for being moved by stuff and crying.

I'm not really sure that I would want to change other peoples' opinions, overall. I would just hope that people ask questions about what are the things they enjoy in stories and where they get their bliss from. I hope that doesn't sound like... dramatic? But I mean it genuinely, stories are supposed to move you, and sometimes being moved in an uncomfortable way is as meaningful as a comforting one.

Also Cindemption is canon and A/rkos wasn't true love and Knightfall is endgame. End story.

[rivetgoth]

30 + 34 for the music asks? :o

30. name an album you really love that you haven’t listened to in awhile

Ooh that’s an interesting one. I feel like ever since my insane shroom trip I really remembered how much I fucking love The Cure (insane I know) because they were like. Fucking transcendent during that trip. As much as I’m goth 4ever I don’t listen to like, only/primarily the classic goth bands as much as I used to (like as far as trad goth music goes I’ve been mostly listening to more modern darkwave projects like ACTORS or Bootblacks IG), and the trip reminded me of how much I fucking love that shit. I’ve been revisiting The Cure but I haven’t relistened to Kiss Me Kiss Me Kiss Me yet which used to be my FAVORITE Cure album (nowadays I think Head On The Door or Disintegration won out). And then like, with that in mind I’ve just been inspired to relisten to more of the classic tradgoth bands I love again yk?

34. pick one of your favorite bands/artists and choose a song by them that you associate with each season

Ohh I love this question, I totally associate certain songs with certain seasons based on different times of my life where I listened to certain things more haha. Decided to go with IAMX for this cuz Chris Corner has been one of my favorite artists for like. Fucking YEARS lol.

Spring — I got my Look Outside tattoo in late March so I feel like that’s the biggest one I associate with spring probably? This is kinda insane but I actually don’t have much music I associate with springtime now that I think about it. Huh. I feel like where I live we jump straight from winter to summer 😭 Or maybe I just don’t listen to IAMX in the spring, idfk.

Summer — Definitely Heatwave, which like… duh lol, it’s in the name, but where I live gets hot as FUCK in the summertime (well into triple digits) and I just have the urge to listen to this shit cuz the title is so apt LMAO. I also associate Tear Garden with walking around in oppressive summer heat during COVID lockdowns while trying to find something — anything — to do.

Fall — Your Joy Is My Low I have a really really strong association with driving through the Topanga Canyon wilderness in October, smoking cigarettes under the full moon and then going to the beach, right after moving to the Valley while I was still getting a feel for it. That song makes me so nostalgic for that moment, it was so magical. Aphrodisiac too has a really strong autumn connection, because I listened to that song obsessively in October 2017 leading up to seeing ohGr and meeting Ogre for the first time. I was too stressed and excited to listen to much ohGr or Skuppy so I defaulted to listening to that song a billion times in a row lol.

Winter — I really strongly Insomnia with walking around in rainy winter weather, with overcast clouds covering the sky. I remember very vividly listening to Metanoia and in particular replaying Insomnia a lot one time when I took a bus home to see my parents in December or January. It had snowed along the mountain pass and it NEVER snows here, and I was just sitting there half asleep, listening to Insomnia and staring at this totally unrecognizable terrain that was completely blanketed by snow.

Music Asks!

[bthump]

this is so petty lmao, but the fact that guts fucking that female apostle makes g*tscas/guts fanboys so mad and it's the very first panel in the manga...well it gives me spiteful joy

lmao are guts fanboys mad about that? I had no idea, I would’ve thought they’d be into it.

But regardless I support you and your spiteful joy lol, nothin wrong with liking something for extremely petty reasons sometimes.

Though ngl I actually do like that opening scene, like genuinely. I don’t think it’s ooc at all like a lot of people seem to, and as a tone setter and character establishment for the rest of the story it’s completely ridiculous and so utterly wrong that it crosses over into perfect imo. It starts you off with a false v tropey and ott image of Guts that pulls in a certain audience, and then the story immediately proceeds to start subverting that image, starting right after Guts blows the apostle up when he looks back at her corpse looking troubled:

It completely fits Guts’ actual modus operandi, which definitely isn’t banging women lol but is in fact doing literally anything to get close enough to a monster to blow its head off, and the actual sex with a woman part is so out of place after we learn more about Guts that it basically (probably unintentionally but w/e) just highlights how unlike a typical manly het protagonist Guts is (moreso pre-Eclipse imo but yk).

Also it’s kind of great as an early instance of Guts being compared to an apostle, by using her own tricks against her. “You’ve fallen into my trap!” “No you.” Super cliched and dumb, but also apt.

And then you got the Freudian imagery, which suffice to say, completely fits in with every other suggestively sexual take on violence we get throughout the story.

Honestly I think it’s a perfect introduction to Berserk lol. It starts you off with a completely false preconception of what the story’s gonna be which makes it more fun to tear it down throughout the rest of the Black Swordsman arc and early Golden Age, while simultaneously making perfect sense and fitting in with the story and Guts’ character on levels slightly deeper than the surface appearance.

Also it’s so cheesy. It goes perfectly with the rest of the Black Swordsman stuff, which is all about being campy and ridic but with little hints of actual depth scattered throughout.

[mcsochists]

*record scratch* *freeze frame* yep, that’s me. VJNOKM i’m noelle, i’m twenty1, my timezone is est, i use she/her pronouns & small disclaimer: i don’t know what the fuck i’m doing, okay!! just keep that in mind when you .. read this .. “ intro ” i whipped up in half an hour. anywhen! if u wanna plot, feel free to hmu on discord at [mournful bagpipe music]#2581 or yk use the lil chat thing on tumblr if u aint got discord NVJOF. MOVING ON.. 

freya’s pinterest board(s): here!

content warning: neglect, alcohol, drugs

freya lockhart has been a medina complex resident for seven years, now. they’re twenty-two years old, and they tend to find a way to turn every conversation into an argument. sometimes when i walk by F24, i hear suncity by khalid playing. lately, i’d say they’re pretty magnetic, but sometimes that’s overwhelmed by the fact that they’re callous. i mean, they usually pay their rent on time, though, and that’s most important fact here. the distorted and desaturated world on the other side of a rainy window pane, detatched glances cast from bleary and bloodshot eyes & fuzzy and distorted recollections of the night before.

right off the bat i want u to know that i’m illiterate

anyways, freya was born & raised in east la w/ her parents and a plethora of extended family/family friends less than a block away. money was Always tight, but the one thing they never really had to worry about was safety bc her dad was a gang leader in their area ( tho it was only rly seen as a gang by the police & the few people in their neighborhood who weren’t colombian lmao ). her dad, saul puentes was like the big man on campus around where they lived, but people liked to rail him for marrying a gringa. ‘we were in love’ is the story he liked to tell, but they were polar opposites — his main focus had always been keeping himself and his family safe, no matter the cost. she, on the other hand, wanted a life she could brag to her friends and colleagues about. clearly, there were some warring factors there.

things were.. how u say.. Tense for the first handful of years of freya’s life, though she thought the entire world of her papa ( saw him as a kinda Hero, especially w/ the way most people deferred to him ). like she’d known her parents weren’t exactly In Love with each other but she just figured that was how all adults acted ( leaving her Uninterested in being married from a young age lmao ).

it was when her dad got arrested that changed things. at first they figured it would blow over & he’d be home in no time, but as evidence kept stacking up, it became less and less likely that he’d be released ( freya was like 8 at the time ). freya’s mom, completely strung out and Over It at this point, packed her and freya’s things & tried to move them out, but freya was uhh Not Having It, like at all, so some of her extended family took her in when her mom gave up trying to fight freya into the cab ( honestly, her mom is a self-centered bitch with no regard for anyone but herself, but i digress )

in the years following, freya continued to visit her dad in prison, always parting with the same promise of freeing him one day ( his bail was set at some outrageous sum, so she’s literally been saving forever ). being so focused on that goal & completely disinterested in going to college, freya dropped right out of high school as soon as she turned 16 and moved into the medina apartments so she wasn’t freeloading off her dad’s friends anymore. when she leased the apt, she did so under her mother’s maiden name cos it’s better to be safe than sorry & bc her dad also had a lot of enemies lmao lbr

being a mechanic hadnt ever crossed her mind as something she’d be good at & even less something she’d enjoy. when she was fifteen, though, one of her cousins ( think, like, 5th cousins lmao ) offered to let her work at his garage instead of having to wait tables at a shitty diner or, even worse, babysit. at first she wasn’t too thrilled about it & it felt like she’d never get the hang of it, but with time, she found she really enjoyed the work, especially the reward of hearing the engine rumble when you start it up for the first time. she didn’t fall in love with it, though, until the charger. her cousin had the shell of a ‘69 dodge charger & told her that if she could fix it up, she could keep it. WELL, the next 4 years of scavenging and looting for parts eventually paid off, leaving her with a love for cars & the envy of muscled white guys everywhere.

a part of her life she’s much more public about, tho, is how much she loves to party. now, according to her, [shrek vc] parties have layers. there are the dull parties, where it’s frowned upon to drink more than champagne, there are club parties where it’s more dancing and drinking than doing hard drugs ( fun, but not the best ) & there’s the house party in which both alcohol and drugs are always available ( her personal favorite ). it doesnt stop there tho bc there are also layers to house parties! the absolute best kind of party, in her opinion, are valley parties. sure, there’s bound to be stuck up rich people with sticks so far up their asses they can’t bend to tie their shoes, but valley parties also have the best selection of top shelf liquor & entire rooms dedicated to doing lines. those parties are the absolute peak, in her opinion & she will never pass up an opportunity to attend.

personality wise .. well, let’s just say she doesn’t really have one ? unless you count being completely bitter and cynical about everything as a personality.. she’s very very short tempered and will not hesitate to make a scene if the need arises ( she loves to argue! loves to shout! so im sorry to all her neighbors! ). literally disagrees with everyone on everything for the hell of it and is the most stubborn personal alive. when her mind is made up u will absolutely never be able to change it so i mean good luck if u wanna try! adding on to the bitter thing.. she p much has it out for anyone who even thinks of lording themself over her ( @ her mom ) and pretending to be better than anyone else so she’d highkey start a fight with little to no provocation

im trying to think of other things that should be included on here but ? i cant vnjcomk feel free to ask me anything specific & hmu if u wanna plot!!

[gothprentiss]

Hello please give commentary on the boxing au cos it’s my favourite thanks

yes! so! this one is a bit of a wander down memory lane since i don’t have any of my drafting notes, as far as i can tell, but (at characteristically great length):

i know i definitely had wanted, for a while, to write some sort of boxing au. james ellroy is one of my favorite writers and the boxing rivalry part of the black dahlia is the part i remember the best— i thought it was really incredible characterization and also really dynamic writing. probably i started writing this fic around when i was thinking about a sotl fic too— probably the three driving impulses were a) working more intentionally with lit that was really formative for me, b) realizing i’d rather reread my fave books than rewatch criminal minds again (lol), c) i think martial arts are generally a hot look on women. but also i think of ellroy’s writing as very like, stylish and sparse in a way that’s perfect for crime writing, and i wanted to try that on. i don’t think i really did, in part because his prose stylings are remarkably first-person and i’m not that kind of writer, but it was fun to try.

as i’m reading it now, i find it kind of endearingly clumsy— i think there’s something definitely off about the focalization, and i’ve always found my prose style a bit ungainly. like in the first place it’s always trapped between two poles (academic writing, and underdeveloped creative writing), but here you add a third, which is ellroy, whose prose is zippy and fast and highly colloquial, and it’s just kind of frankensteiny. also this fic is too long. i remember reading it and being like it’s too long, but i wrote this whole damn boxing scene and felt obligated to sketch out multiple rounds, and now here we are. it’s also trapped very clearly between the sort of like, thing about writing jemily (for me, at least), which is that what you have to get around with jj is her life, and what you have to get around with emily is granting her the right level of interiority. it’s typically easier for me to write jj as a way of looking at emily and dealing with her own life— it makes more sense than the reverse, because a lot of that would then have to be conducted in dialogue, which i hate to write. so that’s another thing here— on one hand, very experimental for me, on the other hand, very much squarely in a comfort zone in order to enable that experimentation.

in a lot of fics i remember pretty precisely where i started, or the multiple, i don’t know, nodes that i wrote outward from, but it’s surprisingly hard to tell with this one. here are some bits i remember starting with, though:

i wasn’t going to screenshot all of this but there’s a lot of early retreading of the gold vs silver metaphor, a riff on ellroy’s fire and ice thing—which also would have worked but struck me as less naturally apt. i spent some time on it because i thought it was fun, and i love to stack and overdetermine metaphors— probably the last 2 sentences in the second paragraph above are my favorite part of the whole fic. there’s also the obvious element of contrast in jj and emily, who are fairly polarized on levels of class, have the sort of contrastive girl roles (brunette and blonde, the two poles of 00s tv white woman personalities, yk), are differently reserved and tempermental, and obviously distinct color palettes too. i said above that i thought the fire and ice rivalry was really good characterization on ellroy’s part, and that’s because it really allowed bucky to speak about himself both as he was perceived, as he saw himself, and how he aspired to be and be perceived; it also allowed him to size himself up against lee, and many of those same matters of perception relative to lee, albeit secondhand. so what i had going with jj was, on one hand, seeing emily, seeing emily through the eyes of others, and looking at herself in those same terms. the thing the rivalry of contrasts produces is this kind of categorical thought (if x is true of emily, it must have its analogue in jj), which has some validity, but also— as we get to the end of the paragraph— doesn’t have much momentum, and is largely an aesthetic judgment. one of the things i was kind of playing with here and throughout is how the terms of the rivalry fail them, but also guide them.

the above i remember writing quite early on, in the sort of like exploratory writing stage where i was setting up contrasts. this comes later in the fic, but i’d initially had it earlier (which makes sense, very much a fic about the various things hands can do), with jj sizing them up in action settings. i.e., there was going to be a bit where jj is like, ‘actually it’s kind of wild that prentiss is into boxing given that she’s very much characterized by stillness [this still makes it into the fic but not so explicitly],’ but i got impatient with that part.

okay so THIS i remember because the line “some far-flung desert of the mind, governed by bizarro logic and surreal slips of sound and light” was written to replace a line which is in a different fic of mine, which i’d borrowed and then decided it was totally out of place here. i don’t like the replacement, actually— it reads like a sort of terribly amateurish description of dali’s persistence of memory, but i’m not gonna fix it now lol. but i did have fun with the win under her belt / medal around her neck thing. i don’t think this has much payoff for readers (maybe?), but i did think it was fun to pivot between idioms/cliches in a way that’s like, halfway materially meaningful.

i’ve had to actually reread this fic to comment on it (cursed), so here are some things i remember really leaning on while writing:

i think jj’s juvenile insect collecting (was it just butterflies?) is kind of an early season deep cut, but this is a fic that’s really, like, relishing in how technical language and practices can be analogized to all sorts of settings, and have implications there. for example, the sort of post adrenaline rush slump / parallel to dom drop i was writing for jj— part of that is the fact that she’s still thinking of them as sparring, as rivals, and as engaging in (if minimal) violence. this sort of budding mutual attraction (she’s been looking at emily, hard, but not thinking about how that looking works) makes her amateurish, on one hand (in a variety of ways, from hitting too hard to feeling guilty about participating in recreational contact sports), and kind of traps her in boxing on the other. an embrace is like a clinch (literally sometimes called a hug, very on the nose), and is a way of limiting your opponent’s offensive capacity (they can’t punch freely, can’t set up combinations, can’t build momentum), and so on, and this colors how jj thinks. i think the same is true here— like again what I’m getting at is this sudden reversal for jj, where she feels a sinister edge to her interests. so this fic is just them hooking up in a locker room, but part of jj’s journey is making peace with herself again— or more specifically, finding that peace that’s already there, that she’s just lost for a bit.

that reversal was also what i was thinking about here, and comes full circle in the question of whether jj’s feeling turned on or riled up— words which mean, on one hand, very different things, but also are nevertheless fairly synonymous. so here, as above, it’s a question of like— what is jj even able to think here, and how is she getting past this moment where she’s only seeing things in negative terms. it’s more about care and mutuality than having sex with a woman being the ultimate panacea, but you know. that also fixes things.

also, as i said above, this is kind of a fic about perception, and there’s some of that strewn around as well:

just like— looking? seeing and re-seeing. it’s occurring to me now that this fic is extremely about Interpretation and Perception, which is very annoying english major behavior, but wcyd. i also do simply love to return to things. not foreshadowing but figuration, maybe, with full and gratuitous apologies to auerbach.

this is sort of way too long and simply noting themes. i guess the other thing was this:

which is like, again, full circle gold and silver, and again about jj’s own self-awareness and perception. i think if i were to write another scene to this fic it would be jj just being like, damn i have been doing a whole lot of looking and no seeing! but i also (iirc) was thinking here about what kinds of commonalities jj sees between herself and emily, particularly in this moment where she has ground to feel quite superior (winning the fight) but instead is feeling quite vulnerable, and at the mercy of a lot of new emotional stuff going on. an audience is on one hand just a figure of speech, but on the other hand it’s also the language of the spectated match still pervading jj’s thought process, and it’s something she’s rebutting, thinking past that setting to the one she’s actually in. it’s also something she can play with, as they’re makin VERY dumb jokes about gold and silver, as my spectacular flair for incredibly weird dialogue rears its tiny furry head.

so like, yeah? i think my concern throughout this was that jj was merely a way of looking, or a perspective, which was partly intended and partly unconscious and i think i’ve made my peace with that unconscious aspect, due to it being fairly critical to what this fic is. oh and the FBI female body inspector shirt gag, which is terrible but it makes me laugh.

[amyreadsandstresses]

So, today I remembered a friend told me I am like Mike Wazowski; yk, all tiny and round and cute but asking people "do I scare you?", which actually a pretty apt description ngl

So, as I remembered that comment while getting ready for class I laughed my ass off, because again, accurate

The problem is, I don't remember who the hell said it. I have spent HOURS trying to figure it out, and I asked one of my friends thinking it may have been him, but he was just very confused

[strideofpride]

#WHEW what a scene#really boils down blair’s lifelong insecurities that were worsened in each relationship#and why this ep is an apt place to come to an end like. given what we’ve got#because the show is acknowledging what blair needs to work on and really making her FACE it for the first time#(and then they throw it away)#so this ep makes for a nice hopeful open ending which is why#5x21 my beloved finale#but this scene specifically is so. ouch.#it so deftly shows what was so wrong and convoluted about the couch pact#dan saying that who she is as she is was always enough#and there’s so much time to achieve what she wants and he’ll be there by her side for it#but because blair still doesn’t FEEL enough she can’t feel like his equal#and also.#like blair reads inside and comes to realization that dan well and truly loves her for her but the lingering doubt is there that that ISNT#her. because everyone in her life is so sure of What She Is and prescribing that rigid definition to her#and everything she’s been through has made that sense of self so skewed#but dan has seen all of it. the good the bad the ugly. he has no preconceived notions no expectations#he knows who she is at the very centre of her and that’s who he writes about. and how *could* that be real to blair?#he sees all the sides and loves the whole picture. selflessly and without pride#and blair is at the point where she is incapable of doing that for herself because she’s so deeply entrenched in her trauma#and blair’s desperate need for outward approval to the point of self destruction if she doesn’t get it is something that would take a LONG#time to work through and every time they have her realize it they backpedal#and having her face it this late in the series is a bad move anyway because it would’ve been interesting to explore her working through it#but i don’t trust them and they don’t know how to write women without being misogynistic sooo ending here is as good as it gets#because she finally has a partner who isn’t picking and choosing which parts he wants and loves#she finally has a PARTNER. (via @mysteriesofloves)

#uhmmmmm mhm ok first of all go back and read nads's bc they're brilliant as per usual#there's something so interesting about the word choice of behind the scenes#in conjunction with 'you're the star of dan's book'#like he made her the star and central figure of his whole world#but it's the outside world vs. the 'our world' again innit#there's a discrepancy for her but there isn't really for him...if that makes sense?#idk brain mushy many thoughts but.#there's an irony there in what she's saying#she's afraid that she'll continue to Not Be Enough and be Behind the Scenes and Living in Someone Else's Shadow#but dan's success is all from the book he! wrote! about! her!#she's the star of his success#'writing doesn't confer importance it reflects it / writing will make them more important'#and I think both are true to dan#at least where blair is concerned#and nads and I have talked about this before how muse is kind of a misnomer here#because the book never seems to be about a elevation of dan#it doesn't serve him (in like the sense that his character counterpart doesn't reflect well on him) but it does serve her#i put in a fic 'his writing is in service of her. not the other way around.'#and that's the crux of it. he's not with her to elevate his art. his art is of her because of WHO she already is.#and maybe that's why she does this#bc if she thinks she's Not Enough to keep being written about or if she doesn't live up to Claire then he'll leave#bc she won't serve his work anymore#but that has never what this has been about for dan#(and maybe dan set that precedent with serena. its young love vs. mature love yk. he's learned how to decenter himself.)#(the 'w/out serena who would i have dreamed about' thing.) (via @terrainofheartfelt)

D: “You said in your speech something about me being ‘brilliant and highbrow,’ and if it’s about that, it’s a bit of an overreaction, don’t you think? I mean, you know none of that stuff means anything to me.” B: “Well, it means something to me, and it isn’t just about the magazine. I don’t wanna live in someone else’s shadow anymore. I did it the whole year I was with Louis, and then with Chuck before that.” DAIR REWATCH ⇢ 5.21 Despicable B