#which i have mixed feelings on | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

dykedvonte · 2 months ago

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You ever just see a Mouthwashing take that makes you want to bang your head into a wall? I literally just saw someone claim Curly couldn't have been emotionally abused by Jimmy before the crash because he was in a higher position of power than Jimmy.

-Shrimp Anon

The mouthwashing fandom has shown me that people genuinely do believe that certain types of abuse are not as detrimental as other types especially when they deem those immune/resistant, ergo, believing one is objectively worse no matter how it affects the person nor the intersections of power, history and dynamics at play.

Get ready cause this is a yap session:

Cause like it's heavily implied that Curly and Jimmy's friendship was toxic and abusive, pointedly in the direction of how Jimmy uses Curly's belief/comfort in him. Curly wasn't forced to enable Jimmy but he was emotional and mentally on edge around him in almost every scene in some way. Mental and emotional abuse are not contingent on what positions you have at work. Yeah, he's Jimmy's boss but he was Jimmy's friend first and it's like getting into Psych discussion to talk about how social power tends to overshadow any perceived organizational power in the human mind. People are concerned about their jobs ofc but they tend to hang onto and put more value/investment into their personal relationships, hence why there tends to be laws and restrictions around mixing the two.

I always see the sentiments that "Curly is a grown ass man", "Curly is bigger than Jimmy", "Curly is Jimmy's boss", "He just needed a backbone" as criticisms of Curly and while I do agree that on the surface level all of these to be true and viable ways Curly could've taken more control of the situation, I often look at the parallels of Anya and Curly as victims of Jimmy pre/post crash.

The way Jimmy talks to Anya post crash is how he talked to Curly in the pre-crash segments. It's hard to pin-point mainly because we know he hates and wants nothing to do with Anya compared to his contrary but similarly handled obsessions with Curly. It's a weird sort of "honey-moon" effect of abuse Jimmy does in terms of emotional and mental victimization. He is always horrid to Anya, always talking down or questioning her abilities and thoughts in a situation, this of course includes the harassment and assault. However, he has a moment of attempted gentleness/conditioning when he question her about the mouthwash when she's contemplating drinking it at the table. The key difference is he has no personal investment in Jimmy outside wanting nothing to do with him, meaning there is no sort of romanticized version of him that he can condition her off of. He knows this, hence, why he always reverts to trying to make her to scared to oppose him.

This sort of give and take of "kindness" doesn't work on her because she knows he is just doing it to take more from her than whatever he could possibly give but it reflects even the "softer" scenes between him and Curly where he always rewords or rephrases Curly's sentiments and concerns to sound more shallow. He is feigning a deeper understanding by reworking Curly's emotions into something bad and needing to be hidden. Everything is laced with envy and resentment, an outburst just around the corner, I mean he even slams the table in the birthday party scene, a tactic in emotional manipulation to set the victim on edge and cloud their ability to respond. Even if Curly knows Jimmy won't get physical in that moment, the physical actions is intended to make him back down in the confrontation in case it does. This is something that is just not person specific. It ingrains itself into how you interact with the world and life and it shows in major and minor ways with Curly.

Post-crash, the abusive nature is more in tandem to the physical victimization Anya went through and the stripping of voice and autonomy we see take place. Like the parasite in HFIM, Jimmy speaks for Curly most of the time and puts words in his mouth, similarly to how he takes Anya's plans as his own. He very commonly, with the both of them mind you, supplements the worst aspects of himself into them; pettiness, selfishness, lack of understanding... And tries to cover himself with their best qualities; kindness, planning, initiative, etc...

These parallel are just to say that positional power has little to do with if a person can be abused and how it can even be flipped to further the abuse. There is no doubt that Curly could've picked up on Jimmy's envy of his position hence another reason he never confronted him as a Captain but as a friend as doing so would immediately put Jimmy in a space to be confrontational/combative.

I think the disdain some people have when they talk about the heavily implied if not implicitly stated emotional/mental abuse Curly experienced being Jimmy's friend is when treating it as an excuse to why he didn't do more. I can understand that completely because it is not an excuse to why he didn't do more but is a very real reason people in his position in these scenarios can experience whether in the context of a work or social environment. However, I also think the way people talk about it really does demonstrate a bigger problem when talking about abuse when somehow who is/was abused is either part of the issue or enabled it.

Harkening back to the sentiments about Curly's inaction regarding Jimmy, I think the exact phrases I used/have seen show how there is an inherent belief that it is easier to overpower the effects of emotional/mental abuse that go in tandem with the perception of Curly as someone who should be able to. There is not an age you suddenly stop being susceptible to abuse nor a set point or low where you realize how it has affected you. You don't suddenly know to stand up or put a face on to face your abuser nor admit that you inadvertently enabled them to subjugate someone else to the same treatment. Maybe it's my psych brain but their is this growing belief that direct action is somehow easy or always the best method with the game shows you instances where it is not always the case. In real life that rings true too. He should have done more, but it's not impossible to see why he struggled to find a way or didn't even if it makes us mad.

It's not easy to suddenly gain a "back-bone". You don't immediately want to resort to aggression, especially if it mirrors the type you were a victim to. You don't want to believe you allowed yourself to be treated this bad, let it get that bad or allowed something bad to happen to someone else. It is easy to be in denial, to retreat to your thoughts or make excuses to avoid the painful truth. It's frustrating but in a way we know is relatable. It why we both hate and love Curly for it. We know we'd be better, we think we'd be better, we like to think we wouldn't falter in the same ways but it's always easier to say that from the outside looking in. It's easy to see what he was doing wrong because we are seeing it, not him, but the game really does make you picture what you would do if this was your raw reality and it's why this debate about Curly seems so never ending/contradictory. We can all say what we'd do but bottom line is that's much different when you're in the moment with all the emotions and human feelings attached.

I personally think Mouthwashing tackles the themes of rape culture, enabling, toxic masculinity, types of abuse and patriarchy in ways that are meant to deconstruct the typical straightforward views we mostly have of these concepts and how little subtilities of them are just as, if not more, detrimental than the overt/obvious parts. The game deals with the idea of little details and bigger picture in a way to show that sometimes the bigger picture is not the issue but the little details that make it up. It's why I have a personal dislike of depictions of Jimmy as the typical horrible person who would of course do something like this because the game is about noticing the little warning signs, the foreshadowing and foresight.

It's why I dislike the typical discussion of "bro code" and "boys will be boys" for the game because the game makes a point to avoid the standard depictions of such. It is about the type of men who still enable despite not condoning, agreeing or even perpetuating harmful beliefs because they can't see the little details or the ways it seeps into their everyday. The severity is not obvious to them as it was not obvious to Curly, Swansea or even Daisuke the way it was to a woman like Anya. There are little details about Jimmy that should ring alarms but if you are too naive like Daisuke, too distant like Swansea or too conditioned like Curly, they are just off markers.

There is 100% more constructive/concise ways to say "Curly was a victim of Jimmy's abuse on an emotional and mental aspect that clouded his judgements and perceptions in the scenario" while also critiquing on the side of "Curly still had a responsibility to protect Anya as a crew mate and Captain that he failed to do due to biases and stigma's he failed to surpass" without the weird condemnation people give him about should've knowing better than to let himself be manipulated by a person he considered a close, if not family/best-friend and had his own reasons to trust initially. Also stop being weird about victims of abuse in general with this fandom, like sorry not everyone has a like social epiphany the moment someone's nasty to them. People are treating it like you immediately know when you are in a toxic relationship immediately or comprehend when a person is actively dangerous and either it's your fault for not knowing how to leave/cut them off or you deserve it. Like the hypocrisy of people believing how certain fans treat the story reflect their irl views but not their own is crazy.

End statement is: I honestly don't even know man, I've been writing this too long and just like no man on that ship was perfect or really helped Anya when it mattered and I feel like pitting them against each other in discussion on who did the least or most or how it was justified sucks cause in the end Anya always did the most and best thing for herself.

#i also think it is because mouthwashing is first and foremost a game about rape culture and the patriarchy especially in work spaces #regarding women and centering conversation around Curly a man rubs people wrong because it does overshadow that commentary #but it still mixes other topics into its initial theming and message on how abuse conditions you to accept certain things that are harmful #and how getting used to a culture/enviornment does not mean you are happy healthy or most importantly safe in it. I personally like to #explore those aspects where it mixes all the themes so we can discuss the ways you have to watch out for things because there is a differen #in the idea Curly enabled Jimmy just because they were bros and because he was an example of another man afraid to step out from what #is a still oppressive system that does try to punish those who act against it even if they fall in the category of those who would benefit #from it as Jimmy and PE 100% represent that sort of misogynistic system where men that would be “good” are altered until they follow line #in a way both on the personal and professional level as PE is the corporate lock out and Jimmy represents the social and its just the issue #that the discussion of it sounds like “in defense of men” when I am more so trying to discuss how it is much deeper than men being scared t #upset other men but complacency is rewarded by not becoming another person subjugated hence as all the moments Curly does try to do #something we can tie it back to how Jimmy reacts and a possible penality from PE where we now need to address the ways to combat those #two concepts so we dont get cases like Curly or Daisuke or Swansea where male avoidance of the issue is considered neutral or even good.#i think most of this boils down the perfect victim mentality to where if someone who underwent or is being abused is not a perfect example #or accpetible type than their abuse can not be considered a valid or substantial reason for effects on their behavior compounded with the #fact that Anya's abuse at the hands of Jimmy is a systematic issue that Curly is a part of even if unwillingly and was more physically #violating and topical cause sometimes i have to remind myself that all media is still critiqued through the lens of the culture it came out #in cause i do think about what if this game came out inlike 2014 like the conversations would be sooooooo different could you imagine it?#but back the before statement Curly isn't perfect but I feel like boiling it down if hes a good person or man is not the point of the game #but more so good people can still be part of the problem and the idea of condemning a person for one act creates a false sense of #rightouesness and justice that does not aid the victim and in fact aids the abusers in escaping blame for their mulitple behaviors as we se #how the men on the ship tend to blame Jimmy for just one act against them including himself while there is a plethora of things Anya is #concerned about with Jimmy #and its not that Curly just made one mistake with Jimmy but more so we consider his actions more damning because he didn't stop Jimmy #instead of focusing on the fact Jimmy did what he did regardless of Curly and the consequence because we already know he's bad n maladjuste #which is problem in the conversation where the individuals are blamed but the system and perputrator are overlooked in a sense of acceptiab #complacency as we know how they are and the lack of tangibility to personally affect them on a larger scale like I should just make a post #on like cutting out the face when it comes it confronting systems of oppression rather than tag talking but just ask me to clarify if #you want that like im jus trying to say we avoid talking about Jimmy and PE so much cause it is obvious what they do wrong that we make #the initial and inherent problem out to be one aspect someone in this case Curly does and the the constraints they use to force actions

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thenegoteator · 1 year ago

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ANYWAY

#if show doesn't work out homemade is fine i guess???#star wars #ahsoka spoilers #ahsoka show #hera #ezra #swr #ach i have such mixed feelings on this whole thing #which is sad because it COULD have been something #filoni i'm in your walls #my art

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icewindandboringhorror · 5 months ago

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I made a few new wax seal stamps out of clay (like the ones I did for my worldbuilding stuff forever ago), this time just of random symbols that I thought might look good done in the style of painting over the raised part of the wax or etc. :0c Some of them aren't carved deep enough to really show up that well, but overall they worked okay for being clay lol

#wax seal #crafts #wax stamp #stationery #Window one is kind of stinky.. I was imagining like a swirly night sky sort of looking thing so it would be a surreal contrast of a night #sky with a window in the middle that shows a daytime sky - but the silver and purple wax kind of mixed too much together #with the black and it just looks very plain black and not all that starry or anything hjbhj.. Of course the eye is probably my favorite #since all I ever do is draw eyes and still like eye imagery for some reason. The four leaf clover is very lumpy and skrunkty but also it wa #the smallest in size out of all of them so was easier to do multiple stamps of just to try it out.#The heart with eyes wax is actually more swirly in person. I wanted it to be a mix of light pink and red and white. and the wax #did kind of all blend together but in person you can definitely see MORE of the intentional swirlyness. in this it just looks plain pink.#I was going to do one eye in the heart but it looked weird. but now two seems too plain. i could have done 3?? in a pattern.. hmm #alas. I wish I could make actual metal ones. With the clay i have to paint them in a thin layer of olive oil before stamping because #otherwise the wax just kind of gets stuck in the grooves of the clay and then you can't pull it up. Very wacky ''unprofessional'' looking #set up where I'm hot gluing circles of sculpey clay to short stumps of a wooden dowel that I sawed apart with a serrated bread knife #and then using an old paintbrush to put olive oil on them whilst holding a spoon over a yankee candle flame hjbjh #ANYWAY.. I think if I were middle class/rich/etc. this would be one of the main things in my crafting room is like.. SO many colors #of wax. and all different custom made stamps designed by me. which could be much more elaborate in actual metal.. muahaha.... >:)c #RHGghhh... I actually don't want to talk much about it since (this is probably just my Obsessed With My Own World Artist Delusions) I #think I have a really cool idea for a game that could genuinely be successful if i ever get to make it and I don't want to give #everything away and spoil the whole plot/concept in hopes that one day I can actually do it - BUT - a game that I'd like to make after the #visual novel I'm making now has partially to do with the main character working as a sort of writer/scribe/artist assistant in an elven #city (set in my world/with my worldbuilding species and versions of elves and etc) and I was thinking of maybe incorporating #somehow being able to collect little writing type items like these like.. you can get different wax seal patterns or pens or etc. when I do #stuff like this in Real Life it always makes me think of that like.. ouh... this is good research.. what it shall be like to be a littol #elf collecting wax seals and such.. indeed... GRR i need to be finished with my current game NOWWW... i MUST work on other #thingss... aughh... ANYWAY.. yay. accomplishment to do One Single Thing other than Sit In The Summer Heat And Rot #though also hilarious as this was the first cool-ish day that was below 80F in a while hgvh #waking up like 'wow.. i actually feel okay today?? like I could do things?? how mysterious.. I wonder why..?? :0'' Its The Weather You Fool #Tis Always The Weather

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ganondoodle · 1 month ago

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About Shargon: What kind of compound are their horns made of? Is it the same as his teeth or skeleton? What’s the reason behind their glow? I think it’s really cool so I thought I’d ask

Thank you for the ask!

so, alot of demon anatomy revolves around their demonic heart and its blood (which is concentrated energy/magic- the color of which is determined by their elemental type, Shargon is type lightning, which is generally a mid blue going into greenish, but there are always slight color variations even between the same types) their bones too are made of crystalized demonic blood, its coated in a black layer of depleted blood (so the substance without energy) that acts as a sort of armor and makes the bones more durable and able to withstand even alot of bending (when a demon shape shifts their bones have to decrystalize to some extent to shift into different forms and sizes, its really uncomfortable or even painful depending on how well trained they are or in stressful situations since that process is something that needs to be done right or they end up really messy and vunerable) bones are also hollow and filled with demonic blood, it also aids their flexibility and the shapeshifting process and makes sure that if one is broken its quickly healed again since the bone doesnt have to decrystalize first

teeth and claws are not hollow and lack the black layer bc it eases using magic/energy through them and makes them harder to break, unlike the bones they are as hard as possible instead of flexible; the liquid blood isnt necessary since a broken tooth or claw usually gets discarded entirely and regrown from the ground up

horns are a mix of both, they dont have a black layer but are hollow (at least partly through) and filled with an even more concentrated version of demonic blood, very similar to heartblood (only found in the heart, the most concentrated version with a similar consistency; like a thick floaty liquid) and connected to it (you could see or feel a pulse in Shargons horns) but it lacks the genetic information actual heartblood carries- horns act mainly as a sensing aid ... like antenna in a way, or how whales melons work, it aids in sensing energy nearby, navigation, limited long range communication or if an energy wave that was sent out has hit something like a living demon .. or a dead one if theres still some remaining energy left (works best between demons of the same elemental type, but isnt limited to them and also depends on how skilled or mighty a demon is- for example, Eadrya, type water but extraordinarily powerful, could sent out even a really weak energy wave and they would be able to sense if it hits Shargon while Shargon himself might just feel there was some energy, but not from who or what type) and can pick up frequencies of distress calls that have lost the hearable part

the downside to that is if a horn was to break it might actually be the most painful thing to happen to a demon, even worse so if it draws blood, its like stabbing the most sensitive nerve that goes through their head and spine and heart, depending on the severity of the injury it might be paralyzing or drive a demon temporarily mad- worse than a stabwound into the heart itself

not all demons have horns, they are a very diverse kind of creatures that are each built better for different things (Eadrya doesnt have horns, the extreme amount of energy at their disposal pretty much closes any gap horns could have made in aiding senses- an advantage being less vunerability, a downside though is easy disturbance of anything relating to those senses by other energy types or frequencies .... and a general downside to Eadryas .. overproduction of magic even, is being basically the most detectable demon in the world due to them constantly emitting energy at very high levels if they are in good health)

(since Shargon (he/they) is the main example here, hes a demon that is built for speed and flexibility, for quick strikes out of the shadows, his bones are thin and bendable, his teeth are long, sharp and angled in various ways so if he bites he can lock it down hard without escape, even if the force of his bite isnt the strongest in itself- he can turn his head fully around multiple times (like an owl but worse) and his throat is largely made of pure muscle (the most muscle on him is his throat and to the big primary arms) perfect to bite and pull and twist until whatever he bit into gives out, getting him off of something is rather impossible without doing massive damage to it in the process (unless he lets go willingly of course)

-since i compared him to Eadrya (they/them) already- they are quick but only in water, their sheer size, thick skin, bones and well, body is really hard to damage, their teeth are small and all in the same shape in two rows on both sides, their maw is really wide and their bite force is pretty strong- if they bite it is with the intent to bite clean through, if that doesnt work they would need to let go and go for it again here older art but just to give you a general idea for Eadrya (demon form):

Thor (any pronouns) is another one that is really different- they are massive and armored with thick, hard plates, they are slow and have little mobility but are nigh impossible to take down unless you know exactly how; they dont have alot of teeth, rather small and probably not very sharp either and due to her two big tusks going forward its rather hard to actually get to anything to bite into, if she were though it would be somewhat akin to alligators (i think) that just smash their massive bones together to break whatever is in between with little to no actual 'biting' going on

(rather outdated art that i still, somehow, like- her humaoid form:

and an even MORE outdated ancient doodle of her demon form:

the only somewhat accurate part is the general shape and head, though the mouth isnt accurate anymore either ... barely anything is but something is better than nothing and the roughly lobster inspired design idea is still currently the idea)

OC lore ramble over :3

#ganondoodles answers #ganondoodles #art #original art #concept art #original characters #oc #ocs #oc lore #monsters #............unless i keept talking in the tags #another reason to why shargon is so good ... so much better at shape shifting quickly and even able to have intact mixed forms #might also be bc of his high pain tolerance- shapeshifting is or can very easily be painful #considering they have to .. liquify their bones to do it #and shargon is so used to pain his tolerance is high and he just .. does it anyway #which is probably not what the other demons expect to be the reason #... i keep worrying im making shargon really unlikable bc of all the shit hes been through #but also thats essential to his character #depressed abused and rejected from society demon with a special interest in humans and their world #i really need to study skull anatomy so i can make a better one at some point ... in the far future probably given how slow i am #forgive any weird spelling or something im not feeling well due to the migraines and am also extremely tired #...bc it takes me hours to write and draw anythign i guess #adding alt text tomorrow bc at least on tumblr you can add that later too

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stillwaterinc · 3 months ago

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i have nowhere to put my batman thoughts so they’re going here

jason comes back as the red hood, planning to take out his little replacement or at least hurt him bad enough that he drops the suit and lets robin die but suddenly, a month before his plan is to start, robin disappears. and so does the joker.

what? jason looks, he scours security cameras and internet forums, even weasels his was into the gcpd’s files and…

nothing. there’s nothing.

no bodies reported, joker’s not in arkham or black gate or any other prison, he hasn’t finally been given the death penalty he just. disappeared.

he can’t find anything on robin either, or tim drake, for months until he stumbles upon a nearly perfect patient file in some hospital records.

nearly. it’d be perfect to anyone else but jason, even years later, can recognize bruce and barbara’s finger prints all over it. it’s a cover. a cover for what though? he reads through the file, tim drake’s file, presumably and finds… well.

someone clearly tortured the kid, and with the meds he was being prescribed it got to him. it would’ve gotten to anyone.

jason shudders reading the initial injury report. electric burns, lots of them, are what catches his eye the most but there’s all kinds of stuff. what catches his eye the most though is the lacerations that had to be stitched either side of the kid’s mouth. shit.

he doesn’t get the full picture, not yet, but pieces are starting to come together. the joker has been missing for a while, just a little longer than jason’s replacement has been in the hospital for some violent injuries.

the joker is missing.

tim drake is in the hospital.

something happened, clearly. the joker did something to tim, something awful, something bad enough that the joker disappeared and the kid’s been in the hospital for weeks.

bruce didn’t make it in time, only this time robin wasn’t dead, he’d been broken.

someone had gotten to robin, to tim drake, before jason could, had gotten to him so badly that even after he was released he wasn’t robin anymore.

not because he didn’t want to be, a few bugs here and there in the manor let him know that much, but because bruce wouldn’t let him.

it comes out, in one of these arguments, that time killed the joker. shot him dead. and jason almost wants to congratulate the kid for it, or wants to strangle bruce and ask him how the hell he let robin, who’s just a kid, tim, who’s just a fucking kid, get anywhere near a position where he had the means and desire to fatally shoot the joker.

because that’s it, isn’t it? the reason jason’s like this, doing this, is because of the joker. jason knows how to use guns because of the joker. he’ll never go to college like a normal kid because of the joker. and now tim.

tim wants to be robin, asks for it, begs bruce to let him back out in the suit and jason nearly finds himself agreeing with bruce. the joker’s gone sure but what if someone else tries the same thing? what if someone tries worse? being in the suit’s already gotten tim this much pain, why risk more?

it hits jason, one night, that he stopped being angry at tim a while ago. a long while. he can’t be angry at bruce either, because the joker is dead. there’s no one to enact vengeance for his death on anymore.

anyways most of my posts are about incest please don’t follow me for batman content

#alternatively i’d love for jason to see bruce without a robin and ask him if he got another birdie killed in that suit #because i think that would hit immediately post joker jr bruce directly in the sore spot #joker jr #joker junior #tim drake #tim drake is joker junior #jason todd #red hood #bruce wayne #batman #babs is in one line of this sorry my love i couldn’t decide between comics continuity and timm-verse continuity for you #bruce timm #batman the animated series #dcau #kind of #it’s a mix of comics and dcau #bc i really like the idea of a joker junior reveal #but i feel like a lot of people don’t include that bruce didn’t let tim keep being robin after joker jr happened #like a lot of the time people have him continuing on as he did in the comics to be red robin #which i love #but i feel we brush over the potential of only bruce babs and tim knowing why tim isn’t robin anymore #bc they make sure no one else knows what happened (until terry but shhhh he doesn’t even exist yet)#(and we’re pretending that there wasn’t a mind control chip in this version bc i don’t want the joker coming back)#the water ripples

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