#which i have believed for so many years to be true
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cosmicjoke · 9 hours ago
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I think you misunderstand my point entirely. It's not about the practical reality of whether Ash could "conceivably" have escaped his life of crime and lived a secure and anonymous life with Eiji, and it's certainly not me saying I think Ash had to somehow "pay" for what he had done during his days as a gang leader. It's about what Ash thinks of himself, and his particular trauma and the damage wrought upon him and his psyche by the severe abuse he suffered and the life he was forced to live as a consequence. It doesn't matter if Ash could have realistically or potentially escaped his life, because he couldn't escape the self-hatred that the abuse he suffered instilled in him. It doesn't matter whether his being in Eiji's life wouldn't have actually endangered Eiji, becaues Ash believed that his presence in Eiji's life did. He couldn't escape his trauma, and that's really the point and the purpose of Ash's death, in the end, is it doesn't allow the reader/audience to undermine or downplay what Ash lived through by acting like everything would have been hunky-dory if only he'd been able to run off to Japan and live happily ever after with Eiji. It forces the audience to contend with just how devastating Ash's trauma is and the true horror of child abuse by showing the tragic end point of it in Ash's death. Ash quite literally dies as a result of that abuse, because it was that abuse that led him to run away from home, which in turn led him into Dino's hands, who's further abuse led him into a life of crime, which, ultimately, is what led to Lao believing he had to kill Ash in order to protect Sing.
Ash had all the ability in the world, all the potential in the world to be whatever he wanted, sure. But it didn't matter, because his life was destroyed by the abuse he suffered and by the people that abused him.
Banana Fish offers no idealistic ending or silver lining to the life that Ash was forced to live, and that's what makes it such a powerful work of art. It presents a naked and raw depiction of the true consequences of child abuse and forces the audience to contend with that reality. It doesn't allow you to console or comfort yourself with notions that anything, no matter how bad, can be gotten over, if only you try hard enough. That's just not reality. There are so many people in real life who never get over their trauma, who never make a full recovery, or even a partial recovery, and it's one of the most insidious and cruel aspects of this insistent claim that everyone can recover from their trauma, because it's essentially telling the people who can't that the failing is their own, sending them the message that they failed because they didn't try hard enough, or simply weren't strong enough. And that's just simply not true. People who are unable to overcome their trauma are no less than anyone else.
Ash believed plenty of things about himself that weren't true, and that's the point. He believed those things because he'd been conditioned through years of horrific abuse to believe them, and him dying in the end forces you to contend with the true weight of that, by denying Ash what he actually deserved, which was a life of happiness and love. It's so absurd to me when people say "Ash didn't deserve to die" or "Ash deserved better". Like, no shit. But Ash didn't deserve any of what happened to him in his life, and again, that's the point. It didn't matter what Ash actually deserved because he was failed so completely by the people that should have protected him in the first place, and it's their failure that resulted in Ash's life being so unfair and cruel. It's because they allowed Ash to fall through the cracks. The same story of so many abused children in this world. None of it is deserved or fair, but it's reality.
Banana Fish is meant to serve as a warning for why we can't allow the things to happen to children that we see happen to Ash, and it drives home just how unacceptable allowing those things is by having the story end in Ash's death, by giving us the worst possible outcome for what Ash suffered, and so impressing upon us why we have to try our hardest to make sure what happened to Ash never happens to anyone else. Ash's death forces us to face the true consequences of allowing children to be abused. We aren't allowed to pretend through Ash's "happily ever after" that what happened to him really wasn't so bad after all.
Further commentary on the ending of Banana Fish (Spoilers):
Look, I understand the controversy and upset surrounding the ending of Banana Fish.  My last post on this topic seems to have pissed some people off, which was never my intention.  But I think maybe I could have worded things a bit better, so I’m going to try again to explain why I feel like the ending of Banana Fish was so perfect.
It’s not a happy ending, and I don’t think anyone, anywhere, will try to tell you that the ending was meant to make anyone happy, or satisfied.  That’s the point.  It’s not MEANT to please the reader.  It’s meant to remain true to its narrative realism.  And in that realism, it’s meant to break the readers heart.  And boy does it do both.
I don’t think anyone would tell you, anyone with any ounce of feeling in their heart, anyway, that Ash didn’t deserve a happy ending, or that he deserved to die after all the awful shit he went through.  I think we can all agree that we would have wanted, if we had a choice, to see Ash have a happy, hopeful ending with Eiji in Japan.  We all agree that Ash DESERVED a happy ending, because he was a good person who was dealt about the shittiest hand in life a person can have.  And despite all that shit, he retained that innate goodness of heart that made him who he was.  He never became a monster, like the people who used him up and abused him over and over again.  That’s what makes him such an extraordinary character that’s deeply loved by so many people. He absolutely deserved to be happy.
But that’s the thing. Banana Fish is a story that deals in reality.  Everything that happens in the story, despite the often extraordinary, larger than life circumstances, is dealt with in a way that is, very often, brutally, painfully honest and realistic.  It doesn’t give us what should be, it gives us what IS.  And that makes perfect sense in accordance with its relation to writers like Hemingway and Salinger.  They wrote stories that dealt in brutal honesty and reality too, and both writers are referenced throughout Banana Fish.  And it’s Banana Fish’s commitment to that brutal honesty and reality that makes it an authentic piece of art.  People want a fairy tale ending, where Ash gets to ride off into the sunset with Eiji and live happily ever after, but at no point in Banana Fish are we given any indication that the story is, at any point, going to delve into the realm of unreality and fantasy, and give us such an ending.  To do so would have been a betrayal of the genuine nature of the narrative. It would have ultimately robbed it of its authenticity as a piece of art, and the story, as a result, would have been left hollow and lacking.  
Banana Fish, throughout its narrative, shows us that terrible things happen to good people, and that good people are often forced into doing terrible things.  It never shy’s away from that cruel, heartbreaking reality, and the ending is no exception.  
It affects us so deeply, and leaves us so upset, because it’s so REAL.  It feels genuine to us, it feels real, because it refuses to betray its honesty for the sake of a happy fantasy.  It remains loyal to the harsh truth of reality, and the harsh truth of Ash’s reality in particular.  Ash is a deeply damaged, broken person, who’s experiences in life are the very definition of cruelty.  Here is a boy who, since the age of seven, has experienced sexual, mental, emotional and physical abuse repeatedly and on a scale truly unfathomable to almost all of us. A boy who was forced into a life of prostitution in order to simply survive on the harsh streets of an unforgiving city.  A boy who, again out of a necessity for survival, has had to kill other human beings. A boy who, out of a desperate situation in which he was forced to choose either to save his soulmate or watch him be murdered by his best friend gone berserk in a mad, drug induced insanity, had to kill his best friend by shooting him straight through the heart.  A boy who, each time in his life that he’s tried to build real and meaningful relationships with other people, Griffin, the girl he liked when he was 14, Skip, Shorter, Eiji, he’s had to watch those people he allowed himself to grow close to either die or almost die, over and over again.  All of that combined creates a level of trauma that’s so far beyond the normal scope or understanding of a regular human being, so far beyond any discernable mechanism for coping with trauma, that to expect Ash to just get over it, for it all to magically be okay just because he moves to Japan with Eiji, is the height of unrealistic, and, again, would be a betrayal of the authenticity the story marries itself to from start to finish.  
Ash’s death is a tragedy, as his life was a tragedy, and the story is a reflection of that.  It stays true to that narrative, and never compromises on it.  That’s the point.  Life doesn’t always have a happy ending.  People that have suffered severe, irreversible trauma don’t always recover, and can’t always heal from it.  People who have suffered in the obscene and brutal ways that Ash has aren’t always going to be alright.  Sometimes it’s just too much.  For Ash, it was just too much.  Too much damage.  Too much heartache.  Too much pain.  Too much loss.  Sometimes we can’t overcome our damage, and that reality presented in this story scares people, I think, because it’s so nakedly honest and unapologetically expressed.
The ending is so god awful painful too because we see, in that moment after Ash reads Eiji’s letter, hope bloom inside him.  For an instant, this belief that maybe he can have a happy ending, when he thinks he’ll catch Eiji at the airport, and maybe go with him.  And in the next instant, he’s mercilessly reminded of that hope’s falsity. Hope springs eternal, but not always true.  Hope and happiness were never meant for Ash.  The chance for that was taken from him before he could even understand what those concepts were.  The thematic arc of the story was telling us from the start that it was going to end in tragedy.
People weren’t meant to LIKE this ending.  It wasn’t meant to make them feel good, or okay with what happened, or fulfilled.  In fact, I’d say, it’s meant to make you feel completely devastated.  As the story reflects reality, so often too does real life end in a way that leaves us feeling lost and confused and heartbroken.  Banana Fish is so good because it stays true to that sense of reality, right until the very end.
The ending doesn’t leave us feeling happy, but it sure does leave us FEELING.  Like any real piece of art would.  The emotions it conjures are immense and, for some I guess, too real. That sense of loss and hopelessness and pain it leaves us with is so effective because, again, it’s so honest. And I guess that because those emotions are so real, and felt so deeply, and with such intensity, it leaves some readers and viewers feeling angry.  Lashing out at a reality which they don’t want to accept.  The irony, of course, is that their hatred and rejection of the ending is testament to just how deeply the ending touched them.  It didn’t leave them feeling nothing, it left them feeling too much, and they then go into a state of denial, which is really just a stage of grief.  A refusal to accept.  You know Banana Fish is a true piece of art for that, in how it conjures sincere feelings of grief and mourning in us for its lead character in Ash.  We CARE about him, deeply.  We want him to be alright, because we love him.
But real art isn’t concerned with placation.  It’s concerned with truth.  So many great pieces of literature have unhappy endings, because that’s the truth of the human condition, and the condition of life in general.  Real art won’t shy away from those painful, awful truths, nor is it afraid to conjure the feelings which go hand in hand with those truths in its audience.  
With all that said, the tragedy of the ending doesn’t demand a feeling of meaninglessness or desolation at all.
Eiji’s love for Ash and Ash’s love for Eiji is still so pivotal and, ultimately, essential in how the story ends.  It’s what allows, maybe not a feeling of hope, but a feeling of peace.
You sense throughout the story that Ash knows he’s going to die.  Like he senses that his life is too fucked up, that he’s been through and had to do too many horrible things for it to last very long.  It’s like the saying of he who burns brightest burns twice as fast.  Ash is burning, and he knows it.  He’s already accepted it as an inevitable conclusion.  He doesn’t actively seek death, but he doesn’t fear, nor fight against it.  At points throughout the story, even, he asks for it, when the horror of what’s happening to him becomes too much.  He knows death is coming for him.  The only thing keeping him from giving in so easily I think is his lack of agency in how he will.  Everything has been taken from Ash, and he doesn’t want to give this last thing away. This choice in how he dies.
Eiji’s love is what finally gives him agency in that decision.
Ash died knowing Eiji loved him, and that knowledge, that certainty that he was loved, genuinely loved by another human being, without any strings or conditions attached, simply loved for himself alone, is what allowed Ash to finally find the peace in death which alluded him in life.  He no longer feels like he has to keep fighting, or struggling on through an endless malaise of misery and pain, because he’s finally found the calm and acceptance which comes with knowing he has this one, pure thing for himself, which nobody, none of his abusers, can ever touch or take away.  With everything else that’s been stolen from Ash, his innocence, his sense of agency, his own body, his own mind, Eiji’s love for him is the one thing nobody could ever steal away.  And that’s, I think, why Ash dies smiling, because it’s that knowledge, that he was worthy of another human being’s true love, that at last shows him that he was a human being himself.  Not an animal.  Not a monster.  He was a human being worthy of love.
Ash’s death is heartbreaking, and brutal, but there’s deep consolation to be had in knowing he spent his final moments with the feeling of Eiji’s love for him alive inside his heart, allowing him at last to feel like a person deserving, worthy of love.
It’s that which allows Ash to finally let go of his struggle, and let’s death’s embrace take hold of him.  It’s his own. Eiji’s love, and his choice to let go of life.
It doesn’t make the ending any less heart wrenching or brutal.  It doesn’t make us any less devastated by Ash’s death.  But it gives us a sense of peace, in knowing, even if we are left feeling lost and heartbroken, Ash himself left life with the fulfillment of knowing he was loved.
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cantareincminor · 19 hours ago
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Fandom Wrapped (Reader Edition) 2024!
Thanks to the wonderful @kattyelf for creating this template! Links and detailed reviews under the cut.
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Disclaimer: I probably read hundreds of SxF fics in the past year, and it was not easy to choose which ones to put in the list above (or below)! This fandom is full of wonderful, friendly creators and I am so glad to be part of it. I also had to narrow it down to only the ones I read and reread in 2024, not 2022 or 2023. Finally...I also happened to read many good fics only once. Sometimes a fic is just too painful or sad to reread, especially if it's not finished.
Favorite fic and author: After peace by @unhappy-sometimes!
I could gush about unso for a whole post and not be done, but I will try to contain myself. Her fic After peace originated from an AU comic she drew where Twilight was forced to retire early due a major injury, and drifted aimlessly until WISE asked him to take care of an orphan they had rescued from Project Apple. There are several things that amazed me about this fic and cemented it in first place for 2024:
The premise. It was original and so full of potential.
How personal Twilight's journey felt to me. I didn't have a life-threatening injury, but I did put my career on hiatus in the past year and have often struggled with questions of -- what am I worth when I'm not "doing" anything? I was so used to going 150% in the rat race and coming out on top at great personal cost to health and family; even if all that was bad, how else can I get that sense of accomplishment? How can I stop wanting that sense of accomplishment?
Her style, which is both vivid AND concise. The fic was around 22K words if I remember correctly, with a well-constructed plot, character arcs, plenty of emotional beats, and a satisfying resolution. I often wonder if my writing is too verbose and when I see something like After peace, it challenges me to do better.
THIS WAS UNSO'S FIRST FIC EVER. THE HELL. It's like a freshman album that gets put up for a Grammy.
Fic(s) I reread (plus runners-up):
That Time Yor Seriously Thought About Leaving by peonydee: This is a WIP with one more chapter before completion, I believe. Peonydee's style is unique in how it's hard-hitting and disarming at the same time. Yor and Twilight find themselves in impossible situations, their relationship tested to the limit (and one of them in a close brush with death), yet there's still an undercurrent of wry humor, almost fatalistic due to the fact both of them have been steeped in death and dirty work for decades, yet still hopeful and reaching for each other. I also cackle every time she makes Twilight go off on a mansplaining tangent without ever using the term outright. A masterpiece of show not tell.
Is It Really All Right? by zyzy1083: This one is tender. A jealous!Loid fic with a fascinating portrayal of Loid from Yor's perspective. The imagery of a dark sea choking down any true thought or emotion from breaking for air will stay with me for a long time. There's also the fact she basically made up lyrics for an indie song as part of the plot and I had to ask whether it was a real song. Finally, there's the fact she was bold enough to portray Loid as less than a perfect, kind, smiley husband toward Yor, but in a believable way. He snaps at Yor at times. He loses his patience. It feels like a real relationship, in the awkward tension when one partner wants to talk and the other absolutely does not want to talk. I admire that courage and wish more authors would take that risk (calling myself out I guess!).
Green-eyed Monster by bigbruja: another jealous!Loid fic that's lighthearted and fun. This is a comfort reread. I enjoy seeing Loid recognize the threat of a supposed "old friend" of Yor's, questioning his own feelings and how far he needs to go to fend this guy off. The guy is a Garden assassin, unbeknownst to him. I also love Yor's own inner struggle of just wanting everyone to get along, but showing steel when she needs to.
dalliance by rosetintednerdglasses: this is a WIP, but it is HILARIOUS and I hope everyone will go encourage this author to pick this fic back up when they have a chance. TLDR, Twilight (in disguise) is sent on a joint mission with Thorn Princess and flips out internally when he sees it's Yor. Handler then orders him to ensure Thorn Princess continues to cooperate. So as Twilight, he has to sort-of honey trap Thorn Princess, while as Loid he has to keep Yor happy. Poor Yor believes she's torn between two different men and close to cheating on Loid! Situational hilarity all over the place, and fun world-building, like this other WISE agent randomly named "Steel Bunny" (LOL).
Not According to Plan by @kyrathel: love you girl! This is a gift fic for me, but that's not the reason I reread it (even though it's a WIP as well!). It's SO FUNNY. Twilight gets it in his overly anxious head that he MUST defend his wife from the bullies at City Hall, so what does he do? HE INFILTRATES CITY HALL AS A NEW FEMALE HIRE. The world absolutely needs more petty!Twilight! The latest chapter features laxative brownies. Enough said.
Let's start living dangerously by @beannoss: I specifically reread the later parts when dumb Twilight gets over his dumbness and finally talks to Yor! And they kiss again! I love the way huhwaku (beannoss) portrays overthinking Twilight AND overthinking Yor. And also, the simplicity of Yor at the same time. The voice she uses for both of them is refreshing, it really puts you in the mindset of the character. Yor's giggles ("teehee!") as she teases Twilight about his little perfectionist habits are a cute touch to a gentle, heartwarming fic about these two highly competent professionals just starting to take baby steps in how to be competent at a relationship.
Fic that made me emotional:
100% Perfect by @sometimesiship. Where do I begin? How about with the gut aversion I initially had to the premise of a futuristic AI dating bot AU, due to all the tragic, dark AI movies I have watched? But as it neared completion, someone convinced me to give it a try and I AM SO GLAD I DID. You can see my gushing comments in almost every chapter. The development of the relationship between human Yor and AI Loid is so natural, funny at times, poignant always, and beautifully written, even though from an objective standpoint not much exciting stuff happens (I mean canon-typical excitement like murders and spy missions). Sometimesiship has a way of describing emotion that is so raw -- she can portray the same emotion a dozen different ways with analogies and setups and dialogue and whatever -- and it still doesn't feel old. And the emotion that dominated the second half of the story was grief. Basically the grief of loving someone you know you're going to lose. Like being the spouse of a terminal cancer patient. I didn't cry while reading, but it was a closer call than I have had in a VERY long time. So much beauty and humanity in this story. And spoiler (?), it's a happy ending. So I hope you all go check it out!
That's a wrap! If you read this far, stay tuned for a Writer version of Fandom Wrapped 2024!
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buddhistmusings · 2 hours ago
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Why do you care so much?
I've been asked this question a few times in the past year - why I spend so much time thinking, reading, and reflecting on antisemitism, especially because I am not Jewish myself. There are a few reasons, really. One of them is that I think antisemitism is a hatred that spawns other hatreds, but even if it did not, it would still be worth studying, because the fact that it is a hatred at all is enough. The fact that antisemitism impacts Jewish people is enough of a reason to oppose it.
It's also because it's important to oppose because of the way it damages the thinking habits of people who believe it. I saw somebody say, "Jew-Hate makes you dumb," once. And though I think it was probably an off the cuff statement for them, it stuck with me, and I think they're right. In my religion, we say hatred is one of the three poisons - it can seriously harm your mental well-being in a way that deepens your suffering in all aspects of life. Often, hatred can also be spread like a contagion. It's something that destroys social harmony and causes severe social dysfunction. And right now, I think antisemitism is the most contagious of hatreds - I've seen people in my life fall off the cliff, I've been able to talk some back from it, and I've seen how so many people wander towards it without any idea that that's what they're doing.
Part of the problem is that antisemites consider themselves righteous in a way I think most racists don't. Often, you'll see "I'm not racist but" I almost never see that with antisemitism. They don't add that qualifier. They just say it. Most racists I know will make a tacit acknowledgment of the racist implications of what they're about to say - antisemitic people don't. They often even engage in anti-Jewish racism while invoking anti-racism.
I don't really know any Jewish people in real life, perhaps only two. But I don't need to know them to know that hating them is wrong. I think I also have a debt of gratitude to many people in the Jewish community because of the advances in Buddhist Studies made by Jewish people, which sounds strange - but it's true that many leading voices and researchers, both in academia and within Buddhism itself happen to be Jewish. I'm not sure why this is, but it's absolutely true. The most prolific translator of Pali into English that I can think of is Jewish. The most impactful Vipassana instructor in America I can think of is Jewish. The most impactful voice in Deity Yoga, for Tibetan Buddhism, is Jewish. People who are Jewish, for some reason, contributed probably more than ex-Christian Americans or atheists combined to the proliferation of Buddhism in the United States.
Buddhists and Jewish people are known to have a close relationship. There are a lot of different reasons for this that I would suggest, but none that add up to explain the amazing contributions to Buddhism made by American Jews.
I think another reason I have for being so interested in antisemitism as a non-Jew is the kind of... political disillusionment I've been experiencing? It's been a disturbing few years, and I haven't seen many people elaborate very well on this feeling of abandonment and horror, witnessing people who you thought shared your values become hateful and deeply violent in their beliefs. The only people I've seen consistently speak about it happen to be Jewish.
I think all of this has helped contribute to a feeling of closeness to Jewish people as a group, despite that I don't really know Jewish people in my real life, and only have one or two Jewish friends online. This year has been a horror show of watching people's minds become twisted - it's so scary in a way I can't quite capture with words right now.
I also sometimes have a back and forth with myself about when and if to mention I'm not Jewish when I talk about antisemitism, because I do think it's totally necessary to explain the perspective from which I speak, but to be honest it feels kind of icky to be like "I'm not Jewish, but antisemitism is bad", because antisemitism is bad whether or not the person saying so isn't Jewish, and I think it might be a negative for people to think "not being Jewish" is something which makes it any less valuable to be against antisemitism, and talk about how against it you are. It's very real that people who talk about antisemitism are perceived to be Jewish, and obviously, it's important not to lead people into thinking you're Jewish when you're not, but adding an "I'm not Jewish" qualifier to statements about antisemitism I worry might contribute to the perception that those against antisemitism are Jewish.
Antisemitism is such an insidious ideology. And it's everywhere. I see it daily in so many different spaces. It has the largest impact on Jewish people, but it also impacts non-Jewish people at times. I distinctly remember being mocked throughout school for "looking Jewish." I think about that Greek restaurant which was attacked because they were thought to be Jewish. Or that man in the Amsterdam violence who tried to help and was then accused of being Jewish himself. It's so deluded, violent, and manages to consume people's thoughts like a parasitic worm in their brain.
Anyways, I planned for this post to be more organized. Oops.
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hollowed-theory-hall · 1 day ago
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so how exactly rich do you think harry is ? sorry if you already made any meta previously on harry's wealth i just found your blog very recently
I mean he often labelled as a trust fund kid which is true (no slander intended). He inherited the Potter's wealth and Sirius's vault, so does that put him on the same level with the Malfoy's wealth. I am just trying to measure his finances against a typical pureblood family's finances to understand a compatible comparison. Even tho I know Harry is rich I don't he will ever be as rich as the slytherin pureblood families coz the latter is like old money, and have generations after generations of wealth. Whereas the Potters started to become rich only after Fleamont quadrupled the family wealth by founding his hair potion line.
Ofc then we have to consider Harry's income too as an auror and I believe with his level of expertise he would easily be one of the highest paid aurors amongst the Ministry. But if Sirius really gave him the entire Black vault, mind you Blacks were like a huge branched family, loads came from marriages too so I am just talking about what Warburga Black and Orion Black left for Sirius. If Sirius gave Harry only what he inherited, then Harry is rich but on the same level as the Malfoys, Lestranges, or the other branches of Blacks.
However if he did manage to multiply the wealth he got from his dad and Sirius with what he brought in as an auror, then there is a possibility that he might be neck to neck with the ancient pureblood families. But the question is then how much do you think Harry earned in his Auror career ? And ultimately how rich he actually will be at retirement
Hello 👋
Glad you found my blog and enjoyed reading it! 😊
As for your question of how rich Harry is:
Very.
Like post-book 7 Harry could probably give Draco and the Malfoys a run for their money (no pun intended).
I mentioned here how there isn't a "typical" pureblood family when it comes to finances. Since the majority of the wizarding population in the UK is pureblood or wizard-raised (essentially pureblood), you have both poor purebloods (like the Weasleys) and rich purebloods (like the Malfoys), but both are in the minority. The majority of the population (and therefore the majority of purebloods) is in the middle-class range somewhere.
So, as I mentioned most pureblood Slytherins aren't Malfoy level rich. Even the current-day Blacks (1990s) are probably poorer than they were, say a century ago, and many of them likely had actual jobs to add to their wealth. I mean, money, if it isn't being invested or added to in some other way, is going to dry up eventually (Gaunts, for example). So, even families we think of as "old money", while that is true, they aren't all at the same level of "old" or have the same amount of money throughout the years or the same source of money. Like, for example, while I think the Lestranges are pretty rich and "old money" due to them most likely being descendants of Norman nobility like the Malfoys and what we see in their vault. The Blacks, as a family predating the Normans who lost lands when the Normans arrived, are not as rich off land, but probably from endeavors of some kind or another. The Bones and Smiths are likely in the upper-middle-class ranger, but not at Malfoy levels. Families like the Carrows though always read to me as less rich and at the lower end of the middle class.
I mentioned here that Linfred Potter started the family up with a substantial amount of gold to each of his seven children's names. So, while it's true Fleamount quadrupled the family's gold, the family was already at least upper middle class with a Wizengamot position in the ministry before Fleamont.
So the Potters have been like, a well-off guild family (essentially) for centuries, and recently, with Fleamont, they became super-rich, but they weren't poor before. Quite the opposite. They were pretty influential and well-known in the magical world and were probably very stable financially.
So, the Potters are obscenely rich by the time Harry comes around, probably. The fact that his Trust Vault (which likely doesn't have all the family's gold) had enough for him to consider buying a Firebolt in the summer before 3rd year, is evidence of how rich they were.
(I know he said it wasn't worth "emptying his Gringotts vault for the Firebolt", but he's speaking in hyperbole. He has enough money in his trust vault for a Firebolt and the rest of the school years considering the Firebolt is "a few hundred Galleons" while books (when bought new) cost on average, like, 5 Galleons each. At least that's my estimate).
As for the Blacks, they don't have many branches now. They were a large family, but not anymore. Sirius is the only male heir who would traditionally inherit the family's wealth:
“Black family tradition decreed that the house was handed down the direct line, to the next male with the name of ‘Black.’ Sirius was the very last of the line as his younger brother, Regulus, predeceased him and both were childless.
(HBP, Ch3)
So, Sirius got the vaults/house of the main Black family line (the one from Arcturus). He also received money from his Uncle Alphard:
my Uncle Alphard had left me a decent bit of gold
(OotP, Ch6)
Leaving Sirius very well off considering buying Harry the Firebolt didn't even put a dent in the money he had saved up.
So, Harry is already pretty wealthy and could probably be fine if he or any of his kids didn't work a day in their life.
Now, I mentioned how I'm not a fan of Harry becoming an Auror here. And I don't really have much evidence regarding what Auror income is like, but from Kingsley, Tonks, and Moody it appears it isn't a job that would make you rich, but that you could live with it comfortably. We can use irl detective salaries in the UK which range from £26,000 (~1943 Galleons) annually when starting out to £91,500 (~6836 Galleons) annually as a Chief Superintendant or head Auror.
So, I think the Auror career probably wouldn't make him much richer, unless he went into politics with it (and became head of the DMLE, maybe) but I think even without it he could go neck and neck with the richer purebloods like the Malfoys, as what he inherited from his parents and Sirius might be enough.
(I do want to note, for Harry's alternate profession, that the average professor's annual salary in the UK is £82,004 or ~6128 Galleons. And yes, I know this is for a university professor & lecturer but I assume Hogwarts pays its teachers more in line with university professors than an average school teacher. I also know Snape still lives at Spinner's End, though it could also be from him choosing not to move for a multitude of reasons and not necessarily because of his income.)
For anyone wondering about my money calculations in Galleons:
JKR said a galleon was about 5 pounds. Let's say this exchange rate is true for 1991 when Harry uses Galleons for the first time.
Since wizard currency is based on precious metals, we can assume the worth of Galleons in pounds is relative to the amount of gold in them.
In August 1991, the price of one gram of gold was £6.69, making a Galleon likely to include a little less than one gram of gold (~0.86 grams). I estimate the price of a Galleon in August of 1991 to be £5.76 (this is a bit of a headcanon number, but the real number should be similar to it).
The above salaries are adjusted for inflation, as in I calculated the salaries' worth in 1991 and then calculated that price in Galleons.
Alternatively, it can be calculated to get a similar result using the modern price of gold and the amount of gold in a Galleon.
This is all assuming the currency makes sense and that Galleons aren't like old GBP coins which had 7.75 grams of gold and would then be worth £51.8 and then I would not understand how a smart muggleborn didn't use the ridiculous exchange rate loophole to fuck the system over and get rich.
As such, I'm working under the assumption Galleons aren't just pure, solid gold but have another metal(s) mixed in there as well. I'm assuming a Galleon weighs more than a gram since its edges are large enough for the D.A. to write messages on.
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immortalsins · 4 months ago
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i'm aware how lucky i am to have never been short of food (in my parent's house) and always been taken relatively good care of so the fact this is a new experience to me means it's one of privilege. but my dad hasn't bought food in days and he just showed up at my door to ask if i had alcohol requests from the shop in the village ?? hello if you're buying alcohol i'd like to request something to eat
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sammygender · 2 months ago
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not indirecting anyone but i keep seeing the take that sam has power over dean because dean is so attached to and dependent on him. like it’s everywhere. and its just soooo fundamentally flawed. that is not how anything works. not to sound like a broken record but that type of dynamic (where one partner, the aggressor, views themselves as in fact controlled/dictated by the whims of the other) is actually very standard in an abusive relationship…
whether or not sam has ‘power’ over dean in this way is functionally irrelevant because his ‘power’ extends to his ability to somehow, what, psychically manipulate dean into doing what he wants?? whereas dean’s ‘power’ over sam is making sure sam adheres to exactly what he’s decided sam should do and punishing him if he doesnt do that, and deciding he has ultimate control over sam’s own decisions about his life (see main plot events of s4, 5, 6, 8, 9, 10, so on and so forth…).
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interpolationz · 4 months ago
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my brother just explicitly said to me that he doesn't believe children should be allowed to see queer people and i want to put my fucking head through the wall
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I hate when I get into these phases when once I process through one thing causing me anxiety there's another thing right behind it
#we've moved on to ye olde ''what if i have repressed memories and horrible things have happened that I don't remember''#which...#like...#to some degree you have to go with a schrodinger answer. like... it's inherently not true#but the weird part is that I have weird anxiety when I think about certain family members bc of this#but when I'm actually around them it's no more uncomfortable than any family member you're not around often#so I'm like OH NO WHAT IF SAID FAMILY MEMBER WHO I HAVEN'T SEEN IN YEARS DID SOMETHING TO ME#BUT I REPRESSED IT#and like... a what if is just a what if. do I believe it? no. do I fixate on it and get wildly afraid? sometimes#also it's not even consistent sometimes I'm like ah yes family member I haven't seen in ages I wonder what he's up to#and then other times it's like I'VE HEARD SO MANY STORIES OF FAMILY MEMBERS RAPING THEIR NIECES AND STUFF#WHAT IF THAT HAPPENED TO ME#actually I feel like watching law and order SVU made a lot of these anxieties worse like that's part of why I stopped watching it#bc it exacerbates a lot of anxiety my mind tries to throw at me#anyway I do not actually think any family member has done anything and I don't actually believe I have repressed memories#or else I would have probably brought it up to my parents. I'm still like ''ooogh anxiety monster what if?'' about it tho#which is why we have philippians 4:8!! is is true? categorically due to being a ''what if'' anxiety — nope!! okiedoke moving on#k I just needed to talk through this I'm done now#*I'm barely any more uncomfortable than with any family member I haven't seen in a long time#(tbf I'm generally less comfortable with my dad's family bc 1) no female relatives other than grandma and 2) I see them way less often)
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smile-files · 27 days ago
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this might be a hot take... but if you care about disavowing media made by bad people out of fear of looking like a bad person yourself more than you care about actually doing good things... you might have your priorities (and your morals) screwed up a bit :/
(see my tags for more of my thoughts on this topic! please try to avoid making make bad-faith assumptions about what i mean!)
#melonposting#there is a good case for not wanting to associate with something on account of the creator being harmful. sure whatever#but people have talked at length about the sort of moral ocd that it promotes when that idea is fervently preached and enforced#i don't know about you but i think there's a big difference between#a) not wanting people to associate with something because the media itself spouts harmful rhetoric#and because its bigoted creator both benefits from people engaging with the books and is idolized by many of the books' fans#and b) not wanting people to vocally enjoy ANYTHING made by ANYONE who's held any harmful ideology at any point#because doing so 'inherently' supports and spreads those harmful ideologies#it's true that you cannot separate the art from the artist#but good people can make bad art and bad people can make good art. artistic talent is not inherently correlated with the artist's morals#the goodness/badness of a person CAN seep into the art they make. and it often does. and that can affect one's enjoyment of it#but even then there's nuance to be had on how to deal with it#like my hero academia for example. when i started watching it in middle school i didn't know how misogynistic it would be#of course i ended up seeing it in the show (and god it's so misogynistic)#and i ended up learning that the 'joke' sexual-harasser character is a self-insert for the creator#which of course i could never get behind. the creator is undeniably a horrible guy#at the same time though the show means a lot to me and i've gained a lot from watching it#i won't elaborate here on how but believe me it isn't superficial. if you want to ask me about it i'd be happy to share#i can hold both in my mind. the disgust and the enjoyment. i don't think those have to be mutually exclusive#of course not everyone is like that; you could immediately stop liking the show on discovering the gross stuff. and that's your prerogative#i don't know... i agree with the values behind avoiding media made by people known to have moral failings#and in some cases (like harry potter and jkr) i fully endorse the values and the practice. but such cases are very specific#but in most cases i fear the practice is misguided and unnuanced and ultimately unhelpful in fulfilling one's values#it is largely a philosophical matter: about how an individual regards their moral standing in the context of themselves and other people#which is important to discuss - especially in our globalized internet age! speaking of which feel free to disagree with me#if you want to have a civil discussion i'm more than open to it#but no matter how important this matter... there are way more important ones in the world. especially right now#calling out people who watch a youtuber who said something bigoted 5 years ago does little to stop that bigotry overall#just have good morals and practice them! support oppressed people! be thoughtful and understanding and compassionate!#callouts and dni lists rarely make for impactful advocacy!!!
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swallowtail-ageha · 27 days ago
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*video by a self proclaimed historian archeology with mary on a cross dramatic beat in the background fake crying hand on mouth in instagram reels* here is a funeral epigraphy of this young roman lady who got murdered by her husband! People especially men were such beasts right then and haven't changed much! *shows epigraphy where parents of murdered girl both father and mother denounce their daughter's murder as something abominable and either way Very Much Not Uncaring of the girls fate*
#i also just think its dangerous to like. chalk up an entire population/culture as having components that act like a monolith#and every one is a misogynistic violent man who uses women as a bargaining chip and no one cared about their#wife/sister/mother/daughter ever#and well. i know the long dead thousand year long spanning violent state the roman empire doesnt need my defense lol#i just think. generalizing a demographic is bad. and like. how people are just comfortable doing it because#they have decided that the entity they are talking about is 'bad' and thus can say all the shit they want about them#and like yeah. roman misogyny was really bad and disgusting i studied roman literature for fucks sakw#i know what many men thought of women back then#but again. there were other men who cared about their female relatives. cicero and tullia. fulvia and clodius. pliny and calpurnia.#ovid and fabia.#literally the longest latin epigraphy we have is a man mourning his wife and wishing he died in her place and listing how wonderful she was#and when pointed out the people in the comments (whose venn diagram is a circle with bitches who exploit little girls#getting raped and/or murdered to spam I CHOOSE THE BEAR which again. if some bitch did that with me#they'd probably find her bloated naked body in the tevere two weeks later like holy shit its so disrespectful)#is a circle)#say 'buuh oooh well some guys loved their wives/daughter what matters she still died' and well.#people point that shit out because you are already so quick to jump at condemning a whole people as mindless monsters#who only thought about raping impregnating killing their child wives and thats just. not true#do you truly believe every human back then didnt have feelings and just adhered to societal norms?#do you thinl you from the oh so enlightened future are illuminated from those filthy savages and are immune from societal bias?#i also feel that like. the way most of those people approach this is less empathy on#the women who suffered beforeha d#in that place and more 'how can i make this about me a 25 yo WASP woman' yk
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wandersee · 1 month ago
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me all of last week: why tf am i even more exhausted/fatigued than normal all i can do is go to jobs and then go to sleep and i can't even focus on it think about ANYTHING
me yesterday: *realizing I haven't taken my be-less-sleepy med for an entire week* Ahhhh... right...
#ran out on Monday but my psych changed clinics and my appt with her at New clinic want until thurs#i want able to get it until thurs#and then i completely forgot to add it into my daily med thingy until today 🤣#and today I'm just like WOW I'M NOT UNBEARABLY EXHAUSTED!!! I WONDER WHY- oh yeah#TJGFUGFHGHJ#Modafinil you are my hero of they ever try to take you away from me i will fight and i will kill#literally i am unable to do anything but sleep without it like I'm still so tired on it but it's a million times worse w/o it#and i only started it last year so i had to deal with too-sleepy-and-fatigued-to-literally-even-exist disease for god what since 2011 or so#anytime I'd bring it up I'd just be told to have better sleep hygiene or whatever bullshit#like I'm the kid who ALWAYS fell asleep in class and anywhere else THIS ISN'T A ME PROBLEM THIS IS A MY BODY PROBLEM 🙄#and anyways there's a reason I've followed my psych to 3 diff clinics she is INCREDIBLE#she's started me on so many meds that ACTUALLY HELP MY PROBLEMS!!!!#and literally never questions or doubts that the things i tell her i deal with are true it's just 100% belief in me#which is soooooo amazing and refreshing after an eternity of ppl never believing me about medical shit ever#and anyways I'm rambling far too long lol but yeah it's insane the utter life changing differences having good drs and right meds can make#and if i ever lose my night job i won't be able to afford ANY of this shit so... I'm trapped there for all eternity 🤣#it's not a bad job at all it's the whole having to have 2 jobs things that sucks#OKAY ANYWAYS SHOWER TIME BEFORE I RAMBLE INFINITELY MORE LMAO#chatterbox
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the-physicality · 1 month ago
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i do think, aside from mercury bias, if bg had been in all season she would have been all wnba, first or at least second. i think people undervalue her because of the rebounding but she is 1000% the worst officiated player in the league, on both sides of the court. so the fact that she's been able to have the performance that she had is incredible, and that she didn't get the acknowledgment really just underscores how much people take what she does for granted.
#i saw something interesting that kim milky basically has her players specialize and so they come out of college less well rounded#exhibit a angel's shooting vs rebounding#and i didn't watch bg in college so maybe i'm totally wrong on this but maybe rebounding just wasn't he job#and then i saw on reddit or something that maybe because she is so poorly officiated she'd get called for too many fouls on rebounding#for it to be worth it#and while i understand the value of rebounding really i do the mercy's problem wasn't that they weren't trying#well sometimes it was but it was that their whole system wasn't designed for it#if you have 4 players on the perimeter to space and shoot 3#you're going to hope they go in and run the floor instead#teams that rebound well dedicate bodies and time to rebounding#and i believe that it was a conscious choice the merc made to not do that#and if you look at old merc games they struggled with rebounding then too#i actually will have more to say about this in the future but the mercury's style of play has lived and died with dt's style for 20 years#the mercury have the most 100 point games of any franchise#and they are responsible for most of the 200 point total scores across the league#ie their fast break and bad defense lol#and while it's not entirely true - she is not responsible for every result they've ever had - i don't think you get westhead's style of pla#to work without her talent and the penny cappie dt trio in 2006#or at least it isn't successful and maybe doesn't change the pace of play in the league the way it did#it's also interesting that if the lottery draw goes differently in 2006 and merc have the first pick do they get seimone or do they stick#cappie? i think they stick with cappie bc they needed a true pg and from what i've seen seimone is a 2/3#and i don't think dt becomes the player the league knows without having a true pg [vs her playing point]#the thing is dt can play point better than most people but i think she plays better when she has someone else there to help#and her talking about oh i should've won mvp in 2006 [when i dropped 40] [lisa leslie won that year]#and in 2014 [best team ever] [maya moore won that year]#you look at the stats and there is for sure an argument to be made there#but it all comes back to post players#and i know wikipedia says maya is a power forward but she seems like more of a 3 sometimes? i haven't watched her enough#but i don't think dt can win mvp in 2009 without that team specifically#which means [and this is my theory of life] that everything happens the way it has to happen for you to end up where you are today
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whiskeyswifty · 1 year ago
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#this is such a niche gripe i guess idk its why it's in the tags#but i really get so annoyed by how a lot of this fandom acts like they know everything about her especially like where she goes#and what she does in her free time because they think they KNOW about everything but#all you know is what she chooses to show you like specifically paps like...... she calls them. all celebs do. 99.999999% of the time#these days it's how that industry works which i KNOW for a fact but like don't take my word for it if you don't believe me fine#but it's how it is and i can tell you that from professional experience but also like#the amount of friends and people i know who've seen her places all over the city for YEARS now#and there are no pap photos of her in those places nor did anyone know she went to that building/restaurant/bar/event#there are a feeeeeew places in the city which are celeb hotspots and the paps might skulk around there but that's cuz#they are known spots for that and waiters and staff tip them off for profit shares#like i know someone who saw her literally last night at a restaurant#there are no photos of her there and no paps outside#like if you think she doesn't leave the house or go somewhere without you knowing cuz you think she's papped everywhere...#thats just simply not true lol couldn't be FURTHER from true#she goes so many places and does so many things that you just don't know about. it's VERY easy to live a private life in the city#EVEN THIS WEEK she's gone more places than you've seen her getting papped at cuz i know people who've seen her!#i can't tell you the amount of famous people i've come across in these situations and the press and social media were none the wiser#people i've sat next to at a crowded brunch counter or people walking their dog or taking their kid for a bike ride like.... ALL THE TIME#famous people love new york cuz new yorkers don't bother them and they can live in relative obscurity#idk what i'm getting at i guess this weirdness like I AM GONNA SHUT DOWN ANYTHING THAT I DONT HAVE PROOF OF#is so deranged to me because...... you only have ~proof~ of like 10% of her life#so the other 90% of it didn't happen cuz.... you a blogger on the internet don't have photographic evidence of it????#IS THAT NOT THE MOST INSANE THING TO SAY????#idk really weird that people just think they know her and shut down any one who poses something that doesn't fit into their#frankensteined version of her that they made out of a bunch of paparazzi photos and flight trackers and deuxmoi posts taped together#as if THATS somehow MORE sane and a more realized person#idk if i'm making sense i'm annoyed whatever whatEVERRRRR
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forcebookish · 1 year ago
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feel like i'm being gaslighted by the ofs fandom like where are all these wild think pieces coming from we can't possibly be watching the same ONE EPISODE of the same drama
anyway,
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#the amount of baseless fanon is... wild#and by baseless i really do mean like. two sentences and a trailer#i feel like.......... bl fandom has never seen a couple like. actually be in the dating phase#so everyone is interpreting their little dance as two MASTER MANIPULATORS when they're just like... feeling each other out?? lmao#also some of u really think that mew is lying about being a virgin#so either he's been lying to his three closest friends for 4+ years or they're lying for him even during private moments with no one around#on the off chance that some hot guy is going to learn about it and want to date him because of it#that is breathtakingly bad writing#(of note: said hot guy was already interested in him before learning he was a virgin and still would've gone home with him had he not known#and if mew is so much of an unreliable narrator that we can't believe ANYTHING that is on screen that is also unbelievably bad writing lol#some of you are CONVINCED that he is an absolute psycho#?????????#ofs liveblog#i use that gif and then these are my tags#also i don't say all this like i know who mew really is. because it's been one episode lmao but he's definitely guarded and intuitive#i'm open to being wrong about MY interpretation of him but if any of these headcanons are true i probably won't finish it lol#(but i find it really unlikely... especially from how many of these takes are from people who hate top...)#(which tells me that you're not actually interested in understanding him as a character and want to cling to your own ideas of him)#(an attitude that i have a hard time believing you don't apply to all the characters. especially mew)#ANYWAY
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mgs3dickeater · 1 year ago
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ohh
#i very rarely talk about stuff like this because i tend to be a very personal person on social media but#ive only really just realized that i guess its true most people will let things fade away on purpose if they dont deem the friend important#and that theyre not like me and will be happy to jump right back into conversation after not speaking for years#ill do anything to keep a friendship and im starting to think thats a problem? that its abnormal?#i dont know. ive always been the one reaching out to try to rekindle something. and after so many turn downs and no effort to hold#conversation i really dont have much of an option to assume that its being done on purpose#believe me im really not the type to immediately assume negative intention in fact quite the opposite#which again... i cant really ever tell when im unwanted versus just feeling unwanted#i think the worst thing is that looking back on conversation i wasnt always the best friend. not the best conversation partner#so then naturally ive got to be like... well... youve made your bed‚ i suppose#its really funny how many times in my life ive found myself thinking 'i really wish i had the insight back then that i do now'#unfortunately it was hardly ever a conscious decision i ever made to act like that. but saying i didnt know any better feels like a cop out#i really did try to know better‚ though. growing up felt like violently clawing my way into trying to understand anyone and everything#i dont know. a lot to think about
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vicsuragi · 2 years ago
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i don't feel like i can id as ace bc i could see myself having a sexual relationship at some point, but i also know i could live without having sex again. it'd be nice to have sex with a man once before i die but i've (technically. very technically) had it already and i don't necessarily desire it. i get all that i need from reading books and fanfiction.
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