#which i guess would be in character for lili to say but i went with a fake book so i could do whatever

[ringleader-inky]

Lily Orchard is stupid but what else is new?

So recently Lily has made a challenge that is as follows:

(Keep these rules in mind)

And AntGr and CrimsonEnder made a list of 50 of those charcters. Which Lily responded to and hoo boy is it bad.

Now I'm only going to be doing several characters from this list because 1. I don't know some of these characters and 2. I can only handle so much of Lily's stupidity. So with that out of the way let's get this show on the road.

Of course you'd put N here because you didn't understand his story to begin with. N definitely does fall under number 2 because he was raised by Ghetsis. You know... THE LEADER OF TEAM PLASMA! I've said this before, but I'll say it again N essentially grew up in a cult. That's not even mentioning that in black and white 2 they show that some of Team Plasma really did think they were freeing pokemon. You see part of Team Plasma split because some followed N's ideologies and others followed Ghetsis. They have a whole safehouse in Driftveil City where they protect pokemon separated from their trainers. But yeah N's ideology was totally swept under the rug guys.

First of all, Donkey Kong was actually a villain. It was in his very first game where he kidnapped Pauleen. You know.... this one. You were probably around when it came out Lily.:

So technically Donkey Kong is qualified for this list believe it or not.

As for Dedede and Meta Knight their case is quite simple.

In Dedede's case in the game Kirby's Nightmare In Dreamland. Dedede literally breaks the Star Rod that powers the Fountain of Dreams. Which allows the people of dreamland to have dreams, but since the Star Rod no longer powers it there's no dreams. However Dedede did this because he was trying to keep Nightmare from absorbing the Fountain Of Dream's power and taking over the world. Nightmare is cosmic deity that's evil will destroy Dreamland if he got out. So in that instance Dedede does have a point. After all if the Star Rod isn't in the fountain then Nightmare won't come out and kill everyone.

As for Meta Knight's case. Well... just look at fucking Meta Knightmare. The reason why Meta Knight wants to conquer Dreamland is because Dreamland is lazy. While that might not seem like a good point, consider that Dedede is stealing food from the people and how there's some sort of cosmic threat every year or so. You kinda start to see his point a little bit. But if that doesn't work then how about in Squeak Squad where he steals the chest from Kirby and Daroach. The chest had Dark Nebula inside of it and was sealed away. Therefore having someone try and open it would be a big fucking problem.

Last but not least... Edgeworth:

Before we get into why this point is bullshit I'd like to bring up this ask:

I bring this up because it proves that Lily doesn't know what the fuck she's talking about. You see Edgeworth isn't just a state prosecutor. HE'S A CHIEF PROSECUTOR! He's not just some joe shmo. Also really, prosecutor can't be evil? May I call Manfred Von Karma to the stand:

In case you don't know. This man is a prosecutor that had a perfect record. All of his defendants were served the guilty sentence. However the only reason why they were found guilty was because he forged evidence. Meaning Manfred is responsible for putting people innocent in prison. He even went so far as to murder Edgeworth's father. And guess who was his protege?

That's right none other than Miles Edgeworth himself!

Meaning that up till Phoenix had arrived Edgeworth was doing the exact same thing Von Karma did. Granted not forging evidence, but still putting innocent people in jail because of he wanted to keep his reputation and he didn't care for justice. Therefore in the first game Edgeworth was the villain. Whether you like it or not. And because Lily never specified that the villain had to be redeemed or not Edgeworth is viable enough to be on this list. So check fucking mate Lily.

[writingonleaves]

it's so hard to watch everything i want (everything i was spinning down the drain) - trevor zegras

pairing: trevor zegras x original female character

warnings: swearing, angst-ish, mentions of cheating (not between the two main characters), self-loathing, fluff

based on: "bleach" by 5 seconds of summer + "the archer" by taylor swift. title from "bleach"

word count: 15.6k

author's note: tried my hand at writing trevor's pov and it was Hard. this one means a lot to me personally so i hope you enjoy it as much as i enjoyed writing it! takes place at least five ish years from now so future fic alert!! trevor is finally employed again and that motivated me to finish this LOL

*****

Trevor Zegras is good at a lot of things. Remembering names and faces is at the top of the list.

It kinda makes sense. He’s been meeting and shaking hands with people ever since he was a teenager, most of them wanting something from him in one way shape or form. It’s not completely a bad thing. He wouldn’t have gotten this far without knowing who he was talking to. 

So that’s why it’s such a surprise that it took him a whole damn hour to figure out why the wedding planner for Jack and Amelie’s wedding looked so familiar. Isabelle, she introduced herself as, and he keeps racking his mind to see if he knows an Isabelle, but he comes up empty.

As a groomsman, Trevor was expected to come to the venue earlier. He didn’t have to come a whole week earlier, but he had nothing else going on and the wedding’s in Michigan, so it wasn’t completely inconvenient for him. He just crashed at Jack and Quinn’s, to which the latter rolled his eyes at. But the soon-to-be-married couple were thrilled that he was coming early so they could put him to work, and he was more than happy to help out. 

It’s halfway through assembling floral centerpieces when he shoots his head up to the wedding planner across from him. “Belle Holloway?”

Belle looks up with a small smile. “Been a long time since anyone’s called me that.”

“Holy shit. I knew you looked familiar. It’s been so long.”

“Z, are you bothering Isabelle?” Jack calls out from another table. “Please don’t scare her away. She’s been our lifesaver the last year.”

Belle chuckles. “You don’t need to worry, Jack.”

“Yeah, Hughesy. Belle and I go way back.”

Amelie is passing by and hears that comment, raising her eyebrows. “You two know each other?”

“We grew up in the same town,” Belle explains, tying a ribbon around a bunch of flowers. “My brother was in Trevor’s grade in school. They played hockey together for a bit before Trevor got too good and left.”

“Belle was probably the smartest girl in school,” Trevor adds with a hint of pride in his tone. “Can’t say the same about her brother. Where did you end up going to college?”

“University of Michigan.” Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Jack smirk. Weirdo. He literally didn’t even go to Michigan. 

Trevor whistles. “Still smart. Where is Connor these days? He went to UConn, right?”

“Yup. He’s with his wife in Chicago now. Doing something with finance.”

Trevor makes a mental note to reach out to his old friend the next time he’s in Chicago. “And little Lily?”

Belle chuckles. “Not so little anymore. She graduated from Parsons last year and works at Michael Kors as a designer.”

Trevor smiles knowingly. “Guess her styling Connor all those years paid off, eh?”

“Guess so.”

(Amelie and Jack are at another table working on centerpieces, overhearing this conversation. They give each other a knowing look as they keep eavesdropping. This is why Belle didn’t seem surprised during their initial consultation when they had to explain Jack’s hockey schedule and why he wouldn’t be able to adhere to the traditional timeline if he wanted to be at all the appointments. Little did they know, she already knew someone in the NHL)

She then asks about his family, because while Trevor was always her brother’s friend, their parents got to know each other pretty well to the point where they would go over to each other’s for dinner enough for her to remember. Trevor talks about how Griffin is off doing God knows what in Florida but having a good time at his sports marketing job and how Ava, who’s the same age as Lily, graduated from Elon and is now in the Philly area as a nurse. 

They’re now moving pots of flowers around as they venture into their lives post-grad. “So have you been in Michigan this whole time?” Trevor asks.

“Yeah, though I had a brief stint in Santa Ana. This wedding is my last one here, actually, so a fun one to end on.”

Trevor follows her eye-line at the soon-to-be-newlyweds, who are now decorating the photo station but more fucking around then decorating. Amelie’s slapping Jack’s shoulder as he laughs loudly. Trevor smiles at the sight. “They’re great, aren’t they?”

“They are,” Belle admits. “I’ve worked with a lot of couples, but they’re one of my favorites. From the fact that they’re organized and flexible and so kind and understanding to the fact that they seem to be super in love with each other.”

“You said this is your last wedding here?” Belle nods. “Where you off to next?”

Trevor notices her stiffening a bit, and he immediately wants to take the question back. But the discomfort leaves as fast as it came. “Not sure. Gonna do some last minute packing up and then go home to New York next week to reset and figure it out from there. Connor offered his guest room in Chicago so I might take that. I have some friends that are dispersed around the country as well.” She shakes her head and switches topics and he makes a mental note of her vague answer. “Enough about me. How about you, Mr. NHL? Not gonna lie, when I saw Jack’s list of groomsmen, I had to brace myself mentally when I saw your name.”

“Brace yourself? What does that mean?”

Belle chuckles and his smile widens at the sound. “It’s been awhile, but not everything is different. I’m sure you’re still the life of the party everywhere you go, which means you’re at high risk of intruding on my meticulous plans on the day. Mind grabbing those shears for me next to you?”

He passes her the shears, standing up straight. “Jack’s conned you. He is way worse than I am.”

“Jack is also the groom so he knows that he has to listen to what I say if he wants things to go well,” Belle says. “How have you been, though? Has Anaheim been treating you well?”

“It has. The team’s great. The weather’s great. The beach is right there. Very different from Bedford.”

“Congrats on a great season. The playoff run was fun to watch.”

His eyebrow shoots up. “You watched?”

She shrugs a bit sheepishly. “If a game is on, I’ll usually watch. It’s like white noise to me now, after going to Connor’s, and I guess your games growing up. I went to a couple of Ducks games during the two years I lived in Cali.”

“And you didn’t reach out?”

She wipes her hands on her jeans. “I…you were always more Connor’s friend than mine. Didn’t want it to be weird.”

“It wouldn’t have been,” he assures. “Next time, let me know and I’ll get you tickets. You still have my number?”

“I do.”

“Perfect,” Amelie then comes up and seems like she has a question. “I’ll let you ladies be. Where’s your fiance?” He asks the bride-to-be.

“Quinn just arrived, so probably making sure the bar is all good, since you guys have your weird ass drink preferences,” Amelie says. “We should be almost done here though. Just have a couple last questions for Belle and then we’ll head back.”

Trevor snorts. “Typical. I’ll go find them.” He turns back to Belle with a grin. “Good to see you, Belle. Don’t be a stranger.”

Belle smiles. “I’ll see you at the wedding.”

“I’ll be on my best behavior.” Trevor promises, before walking away. 

When things finally settle down a couple of hours later and he settles into one of the guest rooms for the night, he reflects back to his own childhood and memories of Isabelle Holloway, or Belle, as everyone used to call her. Brunette and green-eyed, Belle was decently quiet compared to him and Connor’s wild teenage boy energy, but she was talkative with her own friends and Trevor’s parents adored her. She loved Taylor Swift, and if Trevor looked into it deeper, her blasting her music around all the time probably got Trevor to like it purely through osmosis. She was always clean, happy to do the dishes and Trevor often caught her organizing the living room and basement without being asked. She was incredibly smart, always had her homework done before hanging out with her friends and seemed to always ace her classes with minimal difficulty. Even when Connor gave her shit just because he was the oldest sibling, she rarely dished it back. That kindness extended to all of Connor’s friends as well, including Trevor, even when they were loud and playing video games when she came home from school. Every memory he has of Connor growing up, Belle’s right around the corner.

Belle Holloway had always been too good to them. It’s a no-brainer that her profession is based on giving something to others.

He still follows Connor on Instagram, so he goes to his old friend’s page to find his sister’s page. She’s private, but he doesn’t hesitate on requesting her account. He goes to take a shower and brush his teeth and when he comes back to his phone, he’s delighted to see that she’s accepted his follow request. 

Thus begins his stalking. 

There’s not many posts to stalk — she only has 47 — but it does span the amount of years he lost touch with the Holloways. There are posts from her later high school years when Trevor had already left Bedford, and he smiles to himself when he sees the post from her high school graduation, with Connor, Belle and Lily all cheesing in one photo. There are various posts from her college years — she must’ve spent a semester or a summer abroad in Barcelona — mixed with some various travels from Yellowstone to Sweden to Miami. Then it gets less frequent after she graduates college, posts of the Michigan landscape, posts with friends on a night out, at a friend’s wedding, the rare photos of just herself. She notices there’s a guy in some of those posts, but no one’s tagged and the caption doesn’t reveal anything, so he figures it must be a friend or ex-boyfriend of some sort. 

One thing that hasn’t changed much, he thinks, is how beautiful she is. As he scrolls on her Instagram and thinks back to seeing her earlier today, he kinda can’t stop thinking about how beautiful she is.

The day of the wedding comes by and it’s an early start for the bridal party. Trevor rolls into the Planterra Conservatory at 8:47 a.m. with coffees for himself, Quinn, Luke and Jack while Cole had gotten coffees for himself, Nico and Alex earlier. The suits are already hung up by the window of the spacious room and beers have already been opened. 

“Starting off early, eh?” He sets down the coffees on the table. 

“It’s a big day,” Luke calls out from steaming everyone’s suits.

“That it is,” he stops by the chair Jack is sitting in and gives him a hug. “Congrats, man. You nervous?”

“Nah,” Jack smiles. “More excited than anything.”

Quinn grabs his coffee and sits down. “I stopped by the bridal suite just a few minutes ago. Amelie said the same thing.”

Jack lights up at the mere mention of her. “I’m just anxious to see her, to be honest.”

Belle walks in then, clad in a light green jumpsuit and a tan blazer, with a bright smile on his face. “Oh good, Trevor made it. Everyone all good in here? Do you guys need anything?”

Jack grins. “We’re all good here, Isabelle. Thank you. I’ll holler if we need anything. Promise.”

She shoots the groom a semi-skeptical look before nodding. “Okay. I’ll check back in, in 30 minutes.”

“Do you need any help at all?” Nico asks. 

She shakes her head with a thankful smile. “You all are too kind. I’m good. Michelle and I are manning the floor. She’s kinda doing my job better than I am, when she has her own bridesmaid duties to worry about.”

“Impossible.” Quinn remarks. “You’re fabulous at your job.”

Belle rolls her eyes fondly, and Trevor’s reminded that even though she’s the one running the show, she’s younger than a majority of the bridal party. “Flatterer.” She takes her phone out of her pocket and clicks her tongue. “Alright. I’m out.” She looks at Trevor with a pointed look. “Zegras. You better come find me if anything goes wrong.”

“Why are you entrusting that responsibility onto me?”

“Because I have so many stories about you that I could tell everyone if you don’t listen to me.”

Trevor gasps in mock offense. “Belle, oh Belle! Resorting to blackmail?”

The whole room laughs as she grins. She stops in front of him, a more serious look on her face. “Call me if anything goes wrong?”

“I gotcha.” He assures her with a firm nod and she shoots everyone one last grin before walking out. If his eyes linger on her, no one has to know. 

(Everyone in the room knows. He doesn’t notice them all giving each other knowing smirks)

Jack speaks up first. “Z, if you end up hooking up with my wedding planner, give her a good time at least. She deserves it.”

“Jesus Christ, Jacky.” Trevor groans as everyone cackles. Thankfully for him, they drop it after that. 

The next time he and Belle get to interact is after the ceremony — to which he couldn’t stop smiling watching one of his his long-time best friends marry the girl of his dreams, proudly watching at the front as they exchanged vows to love each other forever — when it’s time for pictures and Belle and the photographer are working together to direct everybody where they need to go. Belle stops directly in front of Trevor and focuses on fixing his boutonniere. Her tongue pokes out as she focuses on making it straight after several attempts. Even amongst a crazy day, he feels a sense of calm surrounding him. 

She huffs. “Why won’t your boutonniere stay still?”

He smiles down at her cheekily. “On my worst behavior.”

She snorts, before softening. “Thank you for earlier.” He knows she’s referencing when there was a minor mix up with the rings right before the ceremony was about to start and Trevor got it under control within 10 minutes. 

“Of course.”

She puts a piece of stray hair back on his head away from his forehead and he feels his heart flutter at her light touch. She smirks a bit. “On your best behavior today, actually. Like you promised.”

“Don’t count on it once the open bar hits.”

She laughs before moving on to fix Luke’s collar and Trevor gets a second to finally take a normal breath.

The next time he spots Belle is well into the reception, when the dance floor is full and the drinks are flowing and everyone is enjoying themselves. She’s nibbling on a slice of cake in the corner, eyes sweeping through the crowd with a small smile on her face

Trevor, who ditched his blazer after ‘Mr. Brightside’ brought the place down at least 7 songs ago, strolls over, hands in his slacks. “Haven’t seen you in a bit, Belle of the Ball.”

Her nose wrinkles. “No one’s called me that since I was 6.”

“A good wedding to end off on?” 

“I think so,” she smiles, staring at Amelie giggling as she pours a bottle of champagne into Jack’s mouth. “You having a good time?”

“The best. And I’ve been to a lot of weddings. You did beautifully.”

Belle waves him off. “All in a day’s work.”

“Do you still have fun at weddings? Since you have to work them?”

“Yes and no,” she admits. ‘Yes, because the end result is always worth it and seeing the happy couple live their day is always worth it. No because now when I go to weddings of my friends and family, it’s hard to turn my work brain off.” 

“Are you allowed to dance at your clients’ weddings?”

“I usually wouldn’t,” she tucks a piece of hair behind her ear.

“Make an exception for an old friend? To celebrate your last wedding in Michigan?”

She looks away for a second. “I don’t want to make Jack or Amelie feel weird.”

“Those two couldn’t care less. I’m sure they’d actually encourage it.”

He shoots what he hopes is an encouraging smile as he offers a hand. She looks at him for a couple of seconds before letting him help her up. 

It’s perfect timing as ‘Lover’ by Taylor Swift comes on and the once rowdy floor is calmer, with couples dancing with each other or families dancing with their kids. It’s a dance floor filled with love.

He guides Belle to put her arms around his neck as he carefully places his on her waist. 

“I told Connor about seeing you again.” She starts

“Oh yeah? What did he say?”

“He told me to tell you to hit him up the next time you’re in Chicago.”

“Was already planning on it.”

“He also said and I quote ‘if the next thing I hear is that Zegras is dating my sister, I will kill him.’” Trevor tips his head back in laughter as Belle chuckles. “He’s lucky I never dated any of his friends. He had some cute ones.”

“Was I one of them?”

“Nice try. I’m not blowing smoke up your ass, Trevor.” She says dryly. “Besides, I was kinda kidding. It’s not like you or any of his friends would’ve gone for me anyways.”

Now he’s confused. “What?” He thinks she’s joking, but from her face he realizes she’s not. “You do know that like, half of the hockey team had a crush on you, right?” She tips her head back in laughter as he squeezes her waist. “I’m not kidding. It annoyed Connor to no end.”

She snorts. “There’s no way.”

“Up to you whether to believe it or not. Just know that I never lie, Belle.”

She hums, and the way she’s looking at him makes his hands start sweating. He hopes she can’t feel it through her jumpsuit. “What you’ve done with your hockey career and everything, it’s really cool. I’m happy for you, Trevor. You deserve it.”

And he’s heard so many compliments about his career throughout his whole career, but it’s different coming from someone from his hometown. Someone who knew him before he left and knew what he was like before the NHL — before his days at the NTDP, even. Someone who has nothing to gain from complimenting him. 

“Thank you, Belle. That-that means a lot coming from you.”

She just smiles back before they fall into a comfortable silence and keep dancing. He twirls her and does an exaggerated dip that has her giggling. They keep dancing and dancing, even as the songs change tempo.

(Amelie, who’s resting her feet right by the dance floor, nudges Jack and gives him a look. She picks up a disposable camera and points it at them, before taking her phone and also taking a picture. She has an inkling that Trevor and Isabelle may want these someday)

“What are you up to before the season starts?” 

He shrugs. “I’m not sure, actually. I just need to be back in Anaheim for pre-season in three weeks.”

“Where are you staying?”

“Quinn and Jack have been letting me crash at their place. Don’t have an exact date of when I’m leaving yet.”

Belle snorts, though it’s paired with a smile that seems fond. “Still the same, huh, Trev?”

“What do you mean?”

“Your spontaneity used to stress my parents out, even back then. The reason they still liked you is because you could charm your way out of it.”

“I stressed Kurt and Susan out?” He says, actually worried.

“Oh, hush. It’s not that deep. My dad loves watching you play. There’s been many a family call where I hear a Ducks game on in the background. Unless it’s against the Rangers, of course, in which you don’t matter.”

“To be expected,” Trevor says, heart lifting at the fact that two people who used to drive him around so much still support him, even from afar. “Do they still live in Bedford?”

“Yup. Though with the amount of time my dad spends in White Plains golfing, you’d think they lived there now. He’s loving retirement, clearly.”

Trevor laughs. “I’ll have to hit up Kurt when I’m back for a couple rounds. Does Susan still make the best apple pie?”

“Yup. And everyone still raves about it when she brings it to parties.” 

“You think she’d make me a slice?”

“She’d bake you three pies and send you home with them to Julie and Gary.”

He grins. “Never knew little Belle was this sassy.”

“Because you wasted all your time with Connor.” She shoots back with a laugh. 

(Honestly, he thinks as he twirls her again, maybe she’s right. Who knows what could’ve been if he had seen Belle as more than just Connor’s quieter, talented sister.)

“You said you’re leaving next week?”

“Yeah. Just need to sort out some boxes to move to storage before driving back to New York.”

“You’re driving all the way back to Bedford?”

She laughs at his slight disbelief. “Well, yeah. It’s only a 10 hour drive.”

Suddenly, an idea pops into Trevor’s head, and before he can overthink it, he blurts it out. “What if I came with you?” She blinks, and he forges on. “I mean, I don’t have much going on and it’d be nice to go home before pre-season. I’ll help you load your car and pay for your gas and meals and-”

“Trevor, I-are you sure? You don’t have to…we literally just reconnected after not seeing each other for over a decade.”

“I know I don’t have to do anything,” he says, now trying everything to convince her. “If I’m overstepping, you can tell me and I’ll immediately lay off. But it just seems like…maybe some company could be nice. And we could switch off driving too.”

She bites her lip and tilts her head curiously, trying to find something in his face. It only took her a couple of seconds to chuckle. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but sure. Why not? Come join me on my drive back home.”

He lights up, grinning widely. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“When are you planning on leaving?”

“Monday.”

In two days. Perfect.

“This is gonna be so fun. Just you wait.”

“I don’t doubt it. Fun seems to always follow you wherever you go.”

He has to let her go, since she has some last things to do as the wedding planner. He kisses her cheek quickly before he leaves the reception, to which Quinn raises an eyebrow at but doesn’t say anything. The next morning, during the quick and informal thank you breakfast for the bridal party at a nearby, fancy-ish brunch place, Jack throws him under the bus (“Saw you getting pretty comfortable with Isabelle yesterday,”) and he reveals their plan for the next day. 

It might be one of the most TV show worthy reactions from every single person, bridesmaid and groomsmen. Luke chokes on his mimosa, Quinn shakes his head, Alex blinks, Nico has a shit-eating grin on his face, Jack smirks and Cole lets out a bark of laughter. The girls have all been filled in and equally have similar reactions. Amelie immediately says “you’re joking,” Michelle, at the same time as Amelie, says “ain’t no way,” Kaia, like Alex, just blinks. Nicole and Sarah’s jaws drop wide open, Annemarie starts cackling and Isla drops her fork. 

“What?” Trevor responds, munching on his bacon. “Why all the reactions?”

“Z, are you sure about this?” Quinn asks, ever the voice of reason.

“Yes? It’s just a drive. Everyone needs a car buddy for that long of a drive. Gives me an excuse to go home too.”

“Trevor,” Amelie starts. “I think we’re all just a bit confused because this is…not that we don’t like Isabelle! She’s wonderful. But this just seems out of the blue.”

Jack snorts. “There’s nothing confusing about this at all.” Everyone, Trevor included, turns to look at the new groom, who just shrugs while taking a sip of his coffee. “He likes her.”

“For real?”

“Oh my.”

“Okay, Z! Atta boy.”

“Haven’t you not seen her for like, 10 years?”

“Have you liked her this whole time?”

“That’s crazy.”

“Woah, woah, woah.” Trevor says above everyone’s exclamations. He waits until everyone’s settled. “I don’t like her. Not like that, at least. She’s just…I don’t know. It was good to see her again after so long. It felt like going back to old times. Simpler times.”

“It’s giving childhood friends to lovers,” Michelle says, making everyone laugh. Trevor rolls his eyes again and the subject is dropped. 

Jack volunteers to drive Trevor to Belle’s before him and Amelie’s flight to Greece tonight for their honeymoon. He doesn’t leave Quinn and Jack’s place without chirps from every single person still there, gathering their things and cleaning up. He makes sure to leave with giving Amelie a tight hug and a fond kiss on her cheek before playfully glaring at everyone else as he leaves.

He climbs into the passenger seat. “You don’t think I’m crazy?”

“We’ve known each other since we were 16, Z.” Jack says, starting the car. “Nothing you do fazes me anymore.”

Trevor just hums, staring at one of his dearest friends who is now a husband. “Congrats, Jacky. I know I’ve said it a lot recently, but I’m really happy for you.”

A small smile spreads across Jack’s face, as he automatically goes to touch his wedding ring. “Thanks, man.” Silence falls between them. “Did you ever, even just the slightest, like Isabelle as more than a friend? And be honest with me.”

“No,” Trevor replies honestly. “I always knew she was kind and thoughtful, but she was always just Connor’s little sister and kept to herself and her own friends most of the time.”

“And now? Do you like her now?”

“I don’t know,” Trevor replies honestly. If Jack is shocked, he doesn’t show it. Trevor clears his throat, “We haven’t seen each other in over 10 years. I don’t know her enough anymore to know if I like her.”

Jack just hums. “Look, I…”

“You what?” Silence. “Jack.”

“Amelie and I got pretty close with Isabelle beyond her being our wedding planner. Maybe it’s because she’s close to our age or just easy to get along with. I think…she never told us directly, but I think something happened, Z.”

“What do you mean something happened?”

“Well, I wasn’t there, but her and Amelie went out for casual drinks once to plan some stuff out and Amelie was, you know, casually asking her about relationships and if she ever dreamed of her own wedding, and she got super…not defensive. But Amelie said it was like a switch turned on. All she said is that at some point she did, but she’s not at that point of her life anymore, and then she immediately changed the topic. It’s none of my business, I get that, but she’s also my friend, Z. Just…look out for her, okay?”

“Of course I will,” Trevor promises as Jack slows down in front of Belle’s house. They both climb out of the car and Trevor grabs his backpack, duffle and garment bag from the backseat.

“Thanks for driving.” Trevor embraces his friend in a tight hug.

“Anytime,” Jack says. “Thanks for everything this last week. And just in general. I love you.”

“Love you too, man. Have fun on your honeymoon.”

Jack smiles. “Thank you. You two drive safe, eh? Let Amelie and I know when you're back in New York.”

Trevor just nods, before walking up to the front door and knocking. Within seconds, Belle opens the door with a wide smile. She looks beyond Trevor’s shoulder and waves at Jack as he drives away.

“Hi!”

Trevor can’t help but smile at her energy. It’s infectious. “Hey, Belle. Are you sure you don’t mind letting me crash for the night? I can always get Quinn to come get me later.”

She opens the door wider to let him in. “It’s not a bother at all. As long as you’re good with sleeping on the floor.” He just waves her off, setting his duffle and backpack down and looking around at the barren household. “I would give you a tour, but there’s really not much to see anymore.”

“You need any help?”

She smiles at him sweetly. “I have some boxes in the garage that you could help me move?”

He’s eager to help, until he lifts the first box, grunting about how heavy it is. Belle just chuckles, because why else had she not moved these in her car yet? If she has a professional hockey player volunteering to help her move, then she might as well put him to use, right? Trevor just rolls his eyes, but he can’t help but let a smile peek through at hearing Belle’s giggles. Once the car is packed (it takes longer than usual, as they stand out in the driveway and in the garage inbetween moving, chirping at each other and catching up), they realize it’s getting close to dinner time especially if they want to get an early start in the morning. Trevor asks what she wants to have (“as your last night living in the state of Michigan”) and she lights up, dialing up the place of her favorite Asian fusion takeout place. Trevor tries to hand over his card but she smacks it out of his hand, glaring at him while still on the phone. 

It’s a nice day outside, so they decide to venture out and have dinner on the front porch that she’s going to miss very much, leaning their backs against the panels of the house, sitting a comfortable 4 feet apart, Trevor’s knees pulled up and Belle with her legs outstretched and ankles crossed. He watches as she looks out at the sunset painting the quiet residential street, which is even more stunning than usual. If you listen closely, you can hear the sounds of kids gleefully screaming and dogs barking here and there. For a moment, Trevor feels like he’s intruding as Belle continues staring out, lost in her own world. Her focus only shifts a few minutes later when a car rolls up with their take out, as she jumps up and accepts the food with a gracious smile.

He helps her open boxes and suddenly there’s a generous spread of food between them as they start eating.

Trevor breaks the silence. “You never told me why.”

“Why what?”

“Why you’re leaving Michigan.”

She’s in the middle of stuffing a crab rangoon in her mouth. She chews and swallows for a couple of seconds. “It’s a long story.”

“I have nothing but time if you want to share.”

“I lied. It’s not really a long story. Just a sad one. That’s just my go-to when people ask.”

“You don’t have to lie to me. Ever. But you also don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”

She lets out a deep sigh. “I was supposed to get married earlier this year.”

He blinks. Once. twice. And he’s speechless for once in his life. She barrels on. 

“Nate and I…I met him at UMich my junior year. I had full plans to leave Michigan right after college. Not that I don’t love it here, but I just wanted to go home. But he got an offer here after graduation and I found a gig working for a great wedding planner so I stayed. And it was good. The brief stint in Santa Ana I mentioned was because of his job, so we moved out there. But I really didn’t mind. I actually really enjoyed California.” She picks at her fingernails, “He proposed to me the beginning of last year, a week before we were gonna move back to Michigan. And I was happy. Really happy. So many years I had been planning other people’s weddings and I was finally going to have my own with someone I loved.”

“Belle, you don’t have to-”

She waves him off. “The day of our cake tasting, we were running late and he was in the shower and I grabbed his phone to put in my bag. And there was a text that flashed on my lock screen. ‘Missed you, baby. See you tonight’ and that was it. He had been cheating on me for almost a year. I moved out that night and crashed with a friend for a few weeks before finding this place. Grabbed my shit when I knew he was gone during the day at work. Canceled all of the deposits. Gave the ring back.” She chuckles, albeit sadly. “Funny. The week after I found out, I had my first consultation with Amelie and Jack and honestly, throwing myself into their wedding planning may have saved me, not that they know that. Anyways, yeah. That’s why I’m leaving Michigan. I honestly would’ve done it sooner but I had to stick it out for those two. They deserved it.”

Trevor’s silent for a couple more moments. “Promise me something.”

“What?”

“If we see him out and about, point him out so I can kick his ass.”

Her chuckle comes out broken but genuine. “Connor was real close when I told him. I was afraid he’d just start driving here. So you’d have to get behind him in line.”

“Gladly,” he scoots closer to her and offers an arm. She collapses into his side. “God, Belle. I’m so sorry. No one deserves that, least of all you.”

She sniffles. “It’s okay.”

“No, Belle. It’s not okay. What an asshole.” He can feel tears on his shirt and he starts rubbing her back in soothing circles. “You deserve someone to love you just as much as you love them. Someone to put you above all, who views your love and presence as a privilege. Because it is a privilege. I would know.”

She snorts, still sniffling. “You made fun of me all the time when we were younger.”

“Nah ah ah. Connor did. I didn’t. And that doesn’t mean I didn’t know how lovely you were even back then. Why do you think Connor and I were so against you going on a date with that guy…what was his name?”

“Trent.”

“Yeah. Trent. First of all, just sounds like a douchebag.”

“And Trevor is so much better?”

“Second, because he was an ass. We didn’t terrorize you about it just because. We terrorized you about it because we knew he had cheated on his ex-girlfriend.”

“Maybe if you had ever met Nate, you could’ve sniffed out his bullshit right away. Took me around 6 years to figure it out.”

“You’ve always had good judgment, Belle. No need to blame yourself when you did nothing wrong.”

“Did I though?” She whispers. “Do nothing wrong, I mean. What if-what if I was working too much or I wasn’t attentive enough or I didn’t-”

Trevor shakes his head adamantly. “Belle, no. Stop. Absolutely not. You did enough. You were enough. I’m not gonna sit here and let you pick apart yourself unfairly. You stayed in Michigan for him. You moved to Santa Ana for him. You gave all you had. And he’s the one who fucked it all up. That’s not on you.”

She signs, a bit defeated but musters a small smile. “Thanks, Trevor.”

“Of course.” He stuffs a piece of sushi in his mouth.

She shoots him a small smile that has him swallowing roughly. “Nonetheless, I’m really happy we ran into each other. It’s been nice to have a slice of home back in my life again.”

Trevor just smiles, staring into her warm eyes. “Me too.”

…..

It’s hour two into the 10 hour drive when she breeches the subject again. 

“Connor never liked him.” Trevor turns to look at Belle, who has one hand on the wheel casually. He automatically turns the music down as she continues. “He tried to get along with him, for my sake. But Connor was never sold. I always thought it was just him being a protective older brother. When I asked why, he always just gave some vague answer. Didn’t like his vibe, or whatever. It’s been hard not to agonize over now. If I should’ve just listened to him from the start.” Trevor doesn’t know what to say, but just faces her fully so she knows that he’s listening. She lets out a heavy breath as she puts her sunglasses atop her head. “I never asked. How’s your love life?”

Trevor snorts and the playfulness is back in the air again. “Well, not married like Connor is. I’ve had a couple things here or there. Clearly nothing that’s stuck.”

“Any particular reason why?”

He shrugs, suddenly feeling a bit small even though he knows that’s not her intention whatsoever. “I think when people date me, they don’t necessarily want all of me, you know? They want the jokester and the charmer. They don’t want the shifts in mood or the obsession of figuring out why I’m in a scoring drought or the insecurities.”

Belle hums sympathetically. “I think you just haven’t found the right one yet.”

“You sound like Quinn.”

She laughs. “From the small amount of interactions I’ve had with him, I’d say that sounds pretty on brand.” She shrugs. “You have time though. We all do. If that’s something you even want.”

“What? Marriage?”

“Yeah.”

“I do, I think. Want that, I mean. It’s just…hard. And scary. The thought of giving someone all of you? That’s giving them a lot of power.”

“I get it,” she says. “God, I really get that.”

“Is marriage not something you want anymore?”

She sighs. “I don’t know. I think I still do. It’s just…it’s still too soon, you know? And I don’t know if I have the energy to, like you said, give someone all of me again. I got hurt once. I don’t know if I can afford that again.”

“Well, for what it’s worth, I think you’re one of the best people I’ve ever known. So anybody would be lucky to love you.”

And shit, that kinda slipped out. His heart starts racing as she looks at him briefly in surprise. “That’s…that’s very kind of you, Trevor. Probably too big of a compliment.”

“Not too big of a compliment,” he automatically responds, digging himself into a deeper hole that he can’t even decipher. If he thinks about it too hard, he would realize that this is the most open he’s been with someone outside of his tight circle in awhile. And a week ago, she hadn’t even crossed his mind.

“You know, you were my favorite out of Connor’s friends back then.” 

A pang of satisfaction touches his heart and he’s grinning. “Yeah?”

Belle rolls her eyes at his slight smugness. “Don’t let that get to your head.”

“Too late.”

“I don’t know. I just..liked how friendly you were to everyone you encountered. I don’t think there was ever a time when you came over and didn’t strike up a conversation with me. Even though I was quiet and shy, you still always treated me like a person.”

“I feel like that’s the bare minimum, no?”

She shrugs. “Now that we’re in our late twenties, sure. But back when we were 12, 13 years old? You’d be surprised.” 

He watches her drum her fingers against the steering wheel, the patterned bandana in her ponytail swinging with the wind, wispies from her ponytail framing her face. If he looks hard enough, he can see 10 year old Belle sitting on the sofa in the Holloway’s living room, a sketchbook on her lap and a glass of apple juice next to her. If he listens hard enough, he can hear her humming to ‘Love Story’ as he leaves Connor’s room to walk past her room in the hallway to the bathroom. Maybe he can even smell her vanilla body spray that used to always filter out of her room if he breathes in deeply enough. 

All he can see and hear and feel is his childhood self. Looking at her makes him feel blissfully young, a bit naive and incredibly out of his depth. 

She casts him a casual glance. “You good?”

Trevor grins easily. “Never better.” 

It’s hour five after stopping for lunch. Trevor’s behind the wheel now and her legs are up on the seat with her as she stares out the window, her chin on her knees. He has an urge to put a hand on her knee. To comfort her or to let her know that he’s there, he doesn’t know. But he refrains. 

“Belle?”

“Hm?” 

“Can I ask you a question?”

She turns to face him, chin still on her knees. “Should I be nervous?”

He snorts. “No. I’m just a dumb hockey player. What could I possibly say that would catch you off guard?”

“You’re not dumb. And plenty. You knew me when I was 13 and in my awkward phase. That’s longer than most of the people I’ve seen in the last five years. What’s your question?”

Okay, Trevor can dissect all of that later. ““Are you going to miss Michigan?”

She lets out a thoughtful hum. “I’ll miss parts of it. I loved going to college at Michigan, made a lot of friends from college and work. And I grew up a lot here. Not to mention, Michigan’s almost unfairly beautiful. I’ll also weirdly miss my porch a lot. But also, it’s tough driving around with thoughts of Nate at every corner. Because he’s present in practically all the memories I have here. So I’m glad I’m leaving because I know I need to.” He turns to her quickly and sees her lip quiver. Almost as if he had imagined it, she offers a small smirk. “That’s the question you were so afraid to ask me?”

He sputters out a laugh. “What does that mean?” He asks defensively. 

She shakes out her hair to redo her ponytail. "You never had a problem asking anything to anyone back in the day.”

“Things change.”

She pauses for a split second before tying up her hair and looking at him. “They do. I’m sorry for assuming they don’t.”

Hour eight and they’ve been in a comfortable silence for a bit now. One can only talk for so long, even someone as chatty as Trevor. Belle’s behind the wheel again and her phone is plugged in playing music. The playlist he had put on initially has cycled through and without asking, he plugged her phone in and shuffled a random playlist of hers.

He vaguely recognizes Taylor Swift’s voice and looks to see what song it is. ‘The Archer.’ His ears perk up as he listens to her softly sing along, and then, he’s actually listening to the words. 

Belle’s eyebrows are pinched together as she sings about people seeing right through her and how all the king’s horses and all the king’s men couldn’t put her together again. He wants to offer her a hand to squeeze, a touch for support, but he doesn’t. 

He clears his throat. “So. Santa Ana. What was your favorite part?”

She automatically grins. “All of it? I don’t know. I liked my job. I liked the area. I liked the weather. It felt like a breath of fresh air, in a way.”

“Would you consider moving back?”

“Maybe. I honestly haven’t really thought of anything but leaving Michigan recently.”

He stops asking her questions. He doesn’t want to keep bringing up the pain. 

By the time she rolls into the driveway of Trevor’s childhood home, it’s almost 8 pm. Almost as soon as she kills the engine, the front door opens, revealing both his parents. Julie runs out, only barely letting Belle step out of the car before throwing her arms around her. He smiles fondly as his mother puts her hands on Belle’s cheeks as the younger woman chuckles, before turning to Gary and giving him a quick hug as well. Trevor drags his stuff out of the trunk and shuts it, smiling to himself as he listens to his mother invite Belle and her parents over for dinner the next night and watching Belle nod enthusiastically. 

She then turns to him and it feels like someone has reached into his heart and punched it. She smiles. “Thanks for the company.”

He puts down his duffle and scoops her into a tight hug, only letting her go after giving her a soft kiss on the cheek. “Anytime. See you tomorrow?”

“See you tomorrow.”

(And if he catches his mom giving him an inquisitive look as they all watch Belle back out of the driveway, he doesn’t say anything)

Tomorrow comes and Trevor’s content with mostly being lazy, adjusting to being home and around his parents. It feels weird to be in these walls without Griffin and Ava, but then again, he’s sure it’s one-sided. He moved away when he was so young, leaving behind his supportive parents and his even-more-supportive siblings. They got used to Trevor not being around. 

He’s recapping Jack’s wedding to his father on the patio while his mom is preparing pies in preparation for the Holloways, the mouthwatering smell filtering through the screen door. He smiles as he recalls the week leading up when he went early and was roped into helping out, how beautiful Amelie looked and how he had never seen Jack that excited and happy before, not when he was drafted first overall, not when he won the Eastern Conference Final. He talks about how their vows made Trevor tear up and just how fun it was to celebrate two people he loves. He talks about reconnecting with Belle and briefly brushes over their drive back. He gives vague answers when his parents — mostly his mom — try to pry more, partially because it’s so much that he’s still trying to decipher it himself and partially because some of it isn’t his place to tell. 

An hour later, he can’t help but beam as Belle’s parents greet him similarly to how his greeted Belle the day before. He helps Susan bring in the pasta salad and shakes Kurt’s hand, his slight nerves settling as the first thing Kurt says is how proud of Trevor he is. Belle is the last one who walks through the door, listening to the moms talking animatedly in her ear. She’s wearing a pink floral maxi dress with a denim jacket over her shoulders and she’s glowing. He itches to give her a hug but just settles for a grin instead before turning his full attention to Kurt. 

It’s when the parents are filtering outside does he get a chance to say hello to her as they both hang back in the kitchen. She bumps her hip with his. “Long time no see.”

He pulls her into a side hug. “Hilarious. Want anything to drink before heading out there?”

She eyes the few bottles of wine in the mini wine cabinet. “White wine if it’s not too much of a hassle?”

He opens the fridge and grabs a wine glass. “My mom put a bottle in the fridge earlier. It’s her favorite, so if it’s bad, it’s not my fault.” She takes the glass from him graciously and he grabs a bottle of beer for himself as they both head outside. 

“It’s weird being here without Connor.”

“I was just thinking earlier how it’s weird being here without Griffin and Ava.”

“At least we have each other, right?”

He hums. “Good thing.” She then gets roped into a conversation with his father and he happily takes a backseat, answering when a question is directed towards him but perfectly content in watching her. 

(Julie and Susan, who had never really considered these two as a pair, nudge each other and exchange a few words, watching as Belle laughs while sipping her wine and Trevor just stares at her.

“She was supposed to get married last year. To a guy she met in college.”

Julie’s eyebrows shoot up. “Is that right?”

“Yup. Until she caught him cheating.”

Julie sighs. “I wish we could protect our kids from everything that could hurt them.”

“I do too.” Susan watches her daughter wistfully and lovingly. “She’s always thrown herself into work, But especially after the break-up. You have no idea how relieved I was when she told me she was coming home.”

“Does she know where she’s going next?”

“Not that I know of. For the first time in her life, she doesn’t know.”

“She’ll be okay,” Julie says confidently, rubbing her old friend’s shoulder. “I’ve never had any doubt about Belle.”

“But you had doubt in the others?” Susan teases as Julie snorts. “All our kids are doing well for themselves, but you have one who is the definition of achieving their childhood dream.”

Julie sighs thoughtfully, looking at Trevor. “He’s done well for himself, I think.”

“You think?”

Julie just smiles, clinking her glass against Susan’s.)

Meat is grilled, salads are tossed and food is eaten as the sun fades away. Sometime between sunset and when the sky becomes black, the fireplace is lit and the outdoor lamps are turned on. Trevor switched to water after his second beer, liver still trying to recover from the wedding festivities. 

Trevor finds Belle sitting by the edge of the pool with her feet dipped in, sandals to the side of her. Her hands are folded on her lap as she stares down, occasionally kicking her feet a bit to make the water ripple. He clears his throat so he doesn’t startle her. She looks up and her lips quirk up at seeing him, but they soon fall, as she turns back to the water and tilts her head to the side, taking a deep breath. 

Trevor licks his dry lips. “Come with me?”

“Where are we going?” She asks, accepting the hand he offers as she gets up and slips on her shoes, adjusting her dress. 

“You’ll see. We won’t be long.” Wordlessly, they go around the side of the house to go to the driveway. He catches his mom’s eye and just offers a small smile. Julie’s eyes flicker between him and Belle before she nods. Belle doesn’t say anything as Julie tosses her son the keys to her car, letting Trevor lightly tug her along by loosely intertwining their hands. He opens the passenger door for her and she gives him a grateful look as she slips in. 

He hasn’t been to his intended destination in at least five years, but he knows the route all the same, easily driving the seven minutes. He sneaks a glance or two at Belle as the minimal streetlights light her face aglow for a few seconds at a time. Before he overthinks it, he reaches out and grabs her hand gently, waiting for her to pull away. She doesn’t, instead lacing her hand with his and squeezing once. 

“I haven’t been here since I was in high school,” Belle says as Trevor kills the engine, the tranquility of the small lake and lookout everyone who grew up in Bedford called “Pink Sun” due to the incredibly beautiful sunsets one could see if they were lucky, no one knowing that it’s actual government name was. He’s almost confident that this specific lookout is private property, due to the string lights adorning the trees meticulously that seem to always be on, but whoever owns the property clearly doesn’t care. He would come in the summers from time to time with friends like Connor after he moved away for hockey, but he knows he didn’t experience it the same way as others did.

“Which tree did you have sex under?” Trevor asks as they get out of the car and open the trunk. He quickly fluffs up the two pillows his mom has in the car at all times and pulls the blanket over them both as they get comfortable.

She chuckles and Trevor immediately smiles at the sound. “Gross.”

“What? Isn’t that what people did?” She just lightly slaps him before they both fall into a comfortable silence again. She takes her hand from under the blanket and reaches out to find Trevor’s. He offers his hand immediately. It feels like the most natural thing in the world. 

She starts sniffling, and when he turns to her, concerned, he sees tears rushing down her face. He immediately wraps his arms around her and maneuvers her so that she’s crying into his chest. He tries to be steady for her shaking body, rubbing her back and muttering sweet nothings to assure that he’s here and she’s not alone. He places a couple of kisses on top of her head without thinking because there’s a split down the middle of his heart that’s widening everytime she whimpers.

She cries. The water ripples. Trevor holds her close. 

…..

The entire time Trevor’s back home, he doesn’t go more than a day without seeing Belle. They get ice cream, sitting in the chairs that haven’t been replaced in at least 30 years and giggling as the ice cream drips over their fingers. They go back to Pink Sun to watch the sunset. Because this whole month has him feeling nostalgic, he goes back to his old rink in Stamford and she tags along, indulging him as he pulls up his hoodie over himself as they watch the last 15 minutes of a game the AAA team that Trevor used to be a part of is playing in. Some of the front office staff is still the same and they all immediately beam when seeing Trevor. He chokes up a bit when talking to some of them. He’s missed it here more than he thought he would. 

After training sessions, he just shows up to her house without any warning. They take a lot of drives, passing by landmarks they know well and ones they don’t know at all. They spend hours chatting on the porch of her parents’ place, waving at neighbors as they walk by and petting their dogs. She doesn’t cry in his chest again, but there are stretches of silence where she craves a comforting shoulder. Trevor doesn’t hesitate to offer his. 

He learns more about why she enjoys wedding planning and her time in Michigan. She learns more about how his goals have changed the longer he’s been in the league and his time in Anaheim. They both talk about times they feel like they’ve had their heart ripped to pieces and he finds himself admitting things he’s never admitted out loud to anyone — not Jamie, not Jack, not Cole, not Alex. 

He wonders to himself how he’s lived this long without her in his life. 

The day Trevor has to leave for Anaheim, she offers to drive him to LaGuardia, smiling as he hugs his parents goodbye in the driveway, promising to see them soon when the Ducks are playing in New York. 

She shuts the trunk at the departures drop-off area with a wistful smile. “I’ll miss you, Trev.”

“I’m gonna miss you too.” And then he practically manhandles her into a tight hug, his chin resting on her shoulder, rubbing her back before pulling away. “If you ever wanna come out to Anaheim, there’s always a place for you to stay.”

“I’ll think about it.” With most people, it’s an empty promise. But with Belle, he knows she means it. “Good luck this season. Score some goals, yeah?”

He rolls his eyes, arms still around her waist. “Don’t be a stranger, okay? You have my number. Use it.”

She nods, tilting her head to the side. “Okay.” She presses a kiss on his cheek before he forces himself to let go. She sticks her hands in her jean pockets. “Text me when you land?”

“Of course. Bye, Belle. I’ll see you soon.”

“Bye. Travel safe.”

Trevor forces himself not to look back as he walks through the automatic doors. 

…..

The first roadie of the season includes a stop in Chicago, and Trevor doesn’t hesitate to text Connor. He feels the familiar pang in his heart again, guilty that he hasn’t reached out until now. But when he and Connor meet up for a quick coffee the morning of the game, it washes away quickly. They fall right back to where they were when they were 16, even though they’re both over a decade older and a bit wiser now. Trevor practically shoves two tickets for the game for him and his wife, even though Connor is trying to bat his hand away. 

After the game, the three of them go to dinner and he gets introduced to Ashley, Connor’s wife, who is peppy and fun and he loves seeing her and Connor together. After dinner, Ashley excuses herself to go home as the two of them migrate to a nearby pub. They have years to catch up on. 

“Belle tell you about the break-up?”

Trevor scoffs, taking a hefty sip of his beer. “Yeah. Fucking asshole.”

“Took the words right out of my mouth. When she decided to get the fuck out of Michigan, I was relieved.”

“Yeah?”

Connor sighs. “Yeah. I know she says she stayed because of the Hughes wedding, but I also think it’s because she had a hard time letting go. Which, you know, who can blame her, right?” Trevor just nods sympathetically. Connor leans back, eyes flickering elsewhere for a moment. “Thanks, by the way.”

“What for, man?”

“For looking out for her.” There’s a hint of relief in Connor’s tone. “She’s always been independent, I’m sure you remember. And she has a hard time letting people know that she’s struggling, even if we all see it and want to help. Whatever you did, thank you, man. It’s appreciated.”

Trevor bites his tongue. He wants to say that he doesn’t have to thank him for being a good friend, but Connor is adamant. So Trevor just smiles.

…..

The season’s in full swing, but Trevor makes the effort to keep in contact with Belle frequently. Whether it’s sending a meme or calling on his way to practice, Belle becomes a part of his daily life. 

A month in Bedford now and he can tell she’s getting a bit restless. She’s taken up crocheting, which Trevor loves to make fun of her for. Until he finds a little box on his doorstep and opens it to find a crocheted Wild Wing. He hands it on his rearview mirror in the car. He doesn’t fully realize she’s watching his games until he sees a text from her after a game against New Jersey (“Don’t let Jack hang the win over your head too much. That slapshot was insane.”) and that has him grinning much too widely for someone who just lost.

On Thanksgiving Day, after one of the guys’ families hosts a Friendsgiving for the whole team, he’s back at his place on the couch when she calls him. 

Her face comes up on the screen and he has to smile. “Oh. Hey.” she says gently. “I didn’t actually expect an answer.”

“You just caught me. I just got home from Friendsgiving with the team. Happy Thanksgiving, by the way.”

“Happy Thanksgiving.”

He doesn’t recognize her background. “Where you at?”

“My aunt’s. They’re all watching the game in the basement so I decided to take a break up in the living room.”

“Good food?”

“I’m fucking stuffed,” she admits, making Trevor laugh. “I’m not bad in the kitchen, but nothing beats a good homemade turkey and stuffing.”

“I feel you. So what’s been happening? Haven’t called in a bit.”

“It’s been, like, a week, Trev.”

“Exactly. A bit.”

She rolls her eyes, before leaning back further into the couch. “Actually, I do have news. Kinda.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I, uh, heard back from two people about a job. My old boss from Santa Ana said there’s a spot open for me if I want it. And then my boss in Michigan recommended me to someone in Manhattan, and she called me yesterday and also said I had a job if I wanted it.”

He grins. “Belle. That’s amazing! Congratulations. I’m not surprised though. I know firsthand how damn good you are at your job.”

He sees her blush slightly and he thinks it’s adorable. She twirls her hair around her finger. “Thanks. I’m, yeah. It’s pretty exciting. I’m excited to get back into it again.”

“So. California and New York. Those are two pretty different places.”

She sighs. “Yeah. That’s partially why I called you. Kinda want to get another opinion.”

Before he can stop himself, he snorts. “You’re telling me you haven’t made a pros and cons list already? Don’t think I don’t remember you forcing me to make one when I was deciding if I should go to Avon.”

She tilts her head to the side. “You remember that?”

“There’s not a lot of memories I have from growing up here that don’t have you in them. Of course I remember.”

She bites her lip but Trevor can see the smile peeking through. She clears her throat. “I do. Have a list.”

“So you’ve already made your decision.”

She opens her mouth. Then closes it. “Yes and no. I really do want your opinion, Trevor.”

“Floor’s all yours.”

“I love New York, but I don’t know if I can stay here. If I go back to Santa Ana, is it going to be like Michigan again? I don’t know what Santa Ana is like without Nate.”

“No,” he responds immediately. “It won’t be.”

“How are you so sure?”

“Because Santa Ana is yours, Belle. No one else’s. You said it yourself. You loved your time there. If Michigan doesn’t feel like home anymore and New York feels too much like your past self, California is waiting for you.”

A couple seconds of silence before a small chuckle erupts from Belle. “You take a creative writing class at BU or something? That was actually eloquent.”

If he were next to her, he’d shove her off the couch. He just huffs as she keeps laughing. “My point is, is that you can make fresh starts in familiar areas. Plus, not that I have anything to do with this, but Santa Ana is pretty damn close to Anaheim.”

“Knew you’d say that.”

“I mean, can you blame me? ” He leans back on the couch. “I don’t think you’re incapable of moving on. I think, in a way, you aren’t ready to, and that’s why Santa Ana scares you. You have to and are inevitably going to make new memories wherever you are, but you just have to do it. Take the leap. Dive in the deep end. Whatever the fuck they say.”

And well, that came out a bit harsher than Trevor intended, if the slight flinch on Belle’s face is an indication. But she sighs, “You’re right. I know you’re right. Fuck, Trev. Maybe I shouldn’t have quit and stayed in Michigan.”

“Stop,” he says. “We’re not doing that. Now you have to come out to California. Who else is gonna tell you to get your head out of your ass?” His goal is achieved as she laughs. “Seriously though. Whatever choice you make, you have my full support.”

Four days later, he sees that Belle left him a voicemail in the middle of the game. She’s coming to Santa Ana. Trevor starts organizing the guest room.

…..

Three days into the new year and Trevor finds himself running out of morning skate to drive to LAX. Belle’s staying with him while she looks for her own place, at Trevor’s insistence. He told her she can stay as long as she needs. He hopes she takes that offer seriously. 

He rolls up to the arrivals terminal and idles his car, seeing a text from Belle indicating that she’s still waiting to pick up her luggage. He leans back in his seat, taking a deep breath adjusting the baseball cap on his head, bopping along to the latest playlist that he made for this season.

He’s about to do a drum solo on his steering wheel when he spots Belle come out of the double doors, rolling two suitcases, backpack on her back and a tired but genuine smile on her face. He immediately leaps out of the car, running to lift her up in a hug, making her chuckle. 

“Hey Trevor.”

He kisses her cheek before putting her down. “Belle of the Ball. How was your flight?”

“Good. Long,” she reaches to get her suitcases and he waves her off, lifting her suitcases easily into his trunk as she slips into the passenger seat. She sags into the seat and turns to him with a bigger smile as he turns on the engine. “It’s really good to see you.”

He reaches to ruffle her hair to ignore the funny feeling in his stomach. “Missed you too.”

They catch each other up on what’s been happening since the last time they talked, so only really the last week. Once he turns off the highway, he opens the windows and he periodically glances at Belle, who’s leaning her head on the seatbelt strap as the houses blur by. She tucks her hair behind both her ears and Trevor feels his throat start to close up. 

“Hungry?”

“A bit.”

“Enough to wait a bit so I can cook something up?”

She looks toward him in subdued delight. “You cook?”

“Decently, I’d say.”

“What are you gonna make me?”

Whatever you want, he thinks. “I make a pretty good steak.”

“Well, I’m not gonna say no to a personal chef.”

“Don’t get used to it,” he points at her jokingly. She laughs, but honestly, Trevor doesn’t hate the idea. 

Belle’s car got shipped yesterday to Trevor’s place the week prior, so two days later, when Belle starts work and Trevor has to go to morning skate, they leave the house at the same time after cups of coffee and climb into their own cars, Belle wearing a red sleeveless blouse and white jeans and Trevor wearing a Duck t-shirt and shorts. 

Before she can fully get into her car, Trevor runs around and squeezes her, making her squeal. “Good luck today. You’re gonna kill it.”

“Thanks Trevor. Have fun at morning skate.”

“Are you still cool with a couple of the guys coming over for dinner?”

“It’s your house, dude. You can invite over whoever you want.”

“It’s also your home too,” Trevor insists.

She rolls her eyes fondly. “It’s not. But of course you can have your friends over. I’m excited to meet them.” She gets in her car, but before she shuts the door, she puts her head out. “Do you mind grabbing some orange juice? I think you’re running out and I drink more of it than you do. Just Venmo request me.”

“Yeah, I gotcha. Won’t Venmo request you though,” she opens her mouth to protest but he just taps the roof of her car twice. “We can talk about splitting stuff later. Bye now!”

“Dick,” she mutters as she shuts her door. He chuckles. He lets her back out of the driveway first.

That night, Mason, Jamie and Leo come over and the four of them are finishing up cooking dinner when Belle walks in. A bit flushed and sweaty, she’s nothing but smiles as she slips off her shoes, putting down her bag and introducing herself. She hugs each of them with a sweet smile before finally reaching Trevor. She hugs him like she did with the other three, but he thinks she holds on a bit longer. He smacks a friendly kiss on her cheek, but he catches Jamie’s eye as she pulls away and he knows he’s going to absolutely be grilled about this tomorrow. 

Dinner’s practically ready and the guys just shoo Belle away to the dining table, Leo pouring out a glass of wine for her. They chat and swap stories over chicken alfredo and salad, and Trevor’s content sitting back and watching two different parts of his life come together, not even jumping in to defend himself that much when she recalls some shenanigans from Jack’s wedding. Sure, they at least know of Jack, Alex, Cole and other various members of the NTDP crew who knew him when he was 17 and stupid, but Belle’s known him since they were children. Whether she — or Trevor even — realizes it or not, Belle and Trevor know each other in the purest way. The way only childhood allows, where filters of judgment, insecurities and expectations cease to exist. 

Even with almost two decades lost in translation, Trevor thinks, in a way, Belle might know him better than most. And he might know her better than most.

Which is why he can sense that an hour after dinner, that Belle is exhausted, so he takes the initiative and the guys immediately pick up on it, bidding Belle goodbye and making her promise that she’ll come to a game soon. Once the door shuts, Trevor goes to start washing the dishes, batting her hand away when she tries to help. 

“Trevor. You cooked. I’ll clean.”

“Nope. Go to take a shower. You’ve had a long day.”

“You have too.”

He waves her off. “Go. I got this.” Her shoulders sag in defeat, but she shoots him a thankful smile and heads to shower. 

He’s just about finishing up the dishes and wiping down the counter when she walks back in, an old Michigan t-shirt and flannel pants on. She has her book in her hands but comes by next to him. “Are you sure you don’t need help cleaning up?”

He puts the kitchen towel back on the hook and swings an arm around her shoulder, bringing her against his side. “I’m sure. Where you unwinding for the night?”

“Probably the living room, if you don’t mind?”

“Belle. My home is your home. I mean it. I’ll probably join you after I shower.”

And he does, coming back in afterwards with only the living room light being on. He sees Belle curled up on the couch, engrossed in her book as one of the candles he rarely uses is lit up on the table in front of her. The air smells faintly of pine. 

“Do you mind if I put on some football? I’ll put the volume low.”

She hums. “Not at all.” With her feet in his lap, blanket tucked over both of them, Trevor thinks that he could get used to this. 

…..

Two weeks later, they’re finishing up their takeout when Belle clears her throat. “So I found a place that seems promising.”

Trevor stiffens. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. It’s about 10 minutes from here. Just renting for now, which isn’t ideal. But it’s so soon, you know? I don’t wanna buy yet.”

Trevor understands the latter part, absolutely. But he’s still stuck on the first part of what she said. “When would you think of moving out?”

“At the start of the month.”

“That’s next week.”

She grimaces, washing their utensils. “Yeah. I just…I want to get out of your hair as soon as possible.”

“Belle,” his voice lowers into a serious tone that doesn’t come out of him that often. It works, because it gets Belle to look at him. “If you want to move out, I can’t stop you. It’s ultimately your decision. But I love having you here. So please don’t…don’t think you have to move out to get out of my hair. Because you don’t. I’d love for you to stay and live with me. Full time.”

Belle swallows, searching for something in his face. “You mean that?” She whispers. 

“Of course I do.” He pushes on. “And you know I’m a shitty liar.”

She chuckles as she finishes washing the dishes. On her way to the bathroom, she stops and just hugs Trevor. He welcomes it with a big smile. “You 100% sure?”

“Yes.”

She pulls away with a smile. “Okay. Your porch is better anyways.” 

Trevor laughs, his mind briefly flashing to an image of this place that had been only his for so long one day becoming theirs, with her throw pillows on the couch and fairy lights on the porch and photos of their friends and loved ones hanging on the walls, some they share, some they don’t.

…..

Trevor fully admits it to himself when Christmas rolls up and Belle refuses to go back to New York. 

(“There’s no way I’m leaving you alone for Christmas, Trev,” she insists with an eye roll. “We’ll start our own tradition here. It’ll be great.”)

He doesn’t even try to hide his fondness as he watches Belle teetering at the edge of a chair to hang up lights around their living room. Some random Christmas playlist he had queued up at Belle’s prodding is playing through his speaker, and he doesn’t think “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” deserves the grin plastered on his face. 

Belle, though. She might deserve it. Be the origin of it, really. 

They make too many cookies that they'll have to gift his teammates and her coworkers just so they don’t end up eating all of them. They have holiday movies on in the background for three days straight, some they pay attention to, some they just leave on for background noise. On Christmas morning, after two cups of coffee on Belle’s end to deal with Trevor’s incessant rambling, they’re sat in the front of their tree. The curtains are drawn, offering minimal lighting into their living room. Yet, the twinkling lights on the tree and around their living room paint Belle in the warmest of lights. The blue fluffy blanket wrapped around her shoulders only adds to her softness and Trevor has to excuse himself after they exchange presents to go in the bathroom. 

He splashes cold water in his face and stares at himself. He’s fully in fucking love. Shit. 

…..

After that realization, he does the only thing that makes sense to him. Two days later, on the way to practice, he calls Jack. As the phone rings, he thinks that he probably should’ve checked to see if the Devils were playing today, but he also couldn’t be bothered. 

Three rings later, Jack’s scratchy voice is projected through Trevor’s car. “Hello?”

“Hey dude.”

“You’re cutting into my pre-game nap. This better be fucking good.”

“I think I’m in love with Belle.”

Silence. A rustle on Jack’s end, before, “Jesus Christ. I knew Amelie should’ve taken the day off today.”

“Jacky,” Trevor practically whines. “Be helpful.”

“Give me a second to think and I will be,” Trevor stops at a light. “Dude. I mean, not completely out of left field. But in love love? That’s big. Considering you only reconnected, what, three months ago?”

“Yeah, I know. Am I being stupid? And I need you to be real with me and tell me if I am.”

“No.”

“I’m not being stupid?”

“No, you’re not being stupid. Z, I knew I wanted to marry Amelie, like, two months after I met her, and we weren’t even dating yet. You and Isabelle have known each other since you were kids.”

“Yeah, but we lost touch for over a decade.”

“Okay and? You spent a good amount of time together when you went back home, right? And she lives with you now, right?”

“She was the only one around at home, and we’ve been living together for maybe a month.”

“Dude, are you trying to convince yourself you are in love with her or that you’re not?”

Trevor shakes his head. “Sorry, sorry. Right.”

He hears Jack let out a sigh. “I know you’ve been burned in the past with relationships and stuff, but this is a good thing, okay? She’s a great person. Try not to freak out about it so much.”

“And do what instead?”

“I don’t know,” Jack says sarcastically. “Maybe tell her?”

“Absolutely not,” Trevor says. 

“Why not?”

Trevor’s about to tell him that Belle literally was supposed to be married a year ago but clamps his mouth shut. He’s not sure if Jack knows and that’s not his story to tell. “It’s just not a good idea.”

“Lame.”

“I’m gonna hang up and call literally anyone else.”

“Do it,” Jack challenges the empty threat, before softening. “Do you have any idea if she likes you back?”

“No,” Trevor says. “But I also haven’t been thinking about that because I don’t wanna…scare her off? I know she likes me as a friend, otherwise we wouldn’t be living together. But that’s probably all there is to it.”

“Maybe,” Jack says. “Or maybe you’re making assumptions. I’m not saying you have to do anything now, but you’re not stupid, Trev. Especially with stuff like this. And hey, at least you’re in love with someone as awesome as she is. Ooh, can you imagine you two getting married? It would be full circle!”

“Alright, that’s enough,” Trevor says as Jack chuckles. “Thanks, man. Seriously.”

“Anytime. And Z?” Trevor hums to tell Jack to go on. “Don’t beat yourself up so much. You don’t know until you ask.”

Those last two sentences echo through Trevor’s head for the rest of the day, even when he’s at practice and going through the drills. After so many years in the league, he usually always can leave his thoughts at the entrance of the rink and just focus on hockey. But not today. He can tell Troy wants to ask something, but he refrains. It’s not like a distracted Trevor appears often, and Trevor’s thankful his teammate doesn’t push. 

When the front door swings open that night and Belle calls out her greeting, Trevor is coming back from being outside the last few hours, where he sat and listened to the birds and just stared at the grass, lost in thought. 

Then Belle comes into view, gray sweater over a cream satin dress, tote bag on her shoulder and a tired but bright smile on her face, and Trevor’s not lost anymore. 

In fact, as she slides over to him in her socks across the hardwood floor and hugs him in greeting, immediately talking about what they should make for dinner tonight, Trevor’s never felt more sure of where he is and where he should be. 

…..

Trevor’s on a long roadie during Valentine’s Day, but he makes sure that he delivers flowers to the house before Belle has to get to work. He had spent an ungodly amount of time selecting which bouquet he wanted to send, and Jamie, the saint that he is, had only blinked when he saw what Trevor was looking at on his phone on the bus home from the game before Trevor could lock his phone. 

Imagine if it was Troy. Or Mason. Or fucking Leo, who’s just as much a menace as he was the first day Trevor met him. Everyone loves him and thinks he’s a darling, but Trevor knows better.

He ended up choosing a bouquet from Fresh Sends because the packaging looks sick with the newspaper and the bright colored box and the reviews are all high. Without hesitation, he had picked the largest bouquet, which he knew if Belle knew how much it cost, would probably kick him out of the house or something. But she doesn’t ever need to find out. On the bus, he had hastily typed out a custom note.

Belle, 

Happy Valentine’s Day!! Wish we could be watching shitty rom-coms together but I hope this makes up for it. Thankful to have you in my life again. See you when I get back!

Z

It’s not overly romantic, but he can’t exactly confess his love for her over a note when he’s across the country. If he ever confesses, he’s gonna tell her in person, not hide behind a note like a coward. 

He wakes up on February 14 in a hotel room with a bleary smile as he wipes the sleep away from his face. 

Belle of The Ball

*picture of the flowers*

Trevor!!! these are so so beautiful thank you

You really didn’t have to

Good luck against the Rangers tonight! And tell your parents (and mine) that i said hello❤️

Trevor nets two goals and an assist. He’s on top of the world. 

…..

He’s pleasantly surprised to see that he has an incoming call from Amelie on his way home from the rink a week later. 

“Well, if it isn’t my favorite Hughes.”

Amelie chuckles. “Quinn’s gonna be devastated.”

“Quinner has nothing on you.”

“Flatterer,” she says dryly. 

“What’s up?”

“Jack told me. About you and Isabelle.”

Trevor almost snorts. When he first met Amelie, way back when they were in their early twenties, she had been way more hesitant on giving her opinion among Jack’s oldest friends. But with time, her sarcasm and vivacity came out, and while Trevor had been initially surprised and amused, it made sense. Anyone who would choose to spend their life with Jack Hughes has to be able to hold their own purely to rival his constant need for attention.

“Did he now?”

“You’re the worst. I’m not gonna tell you the same stuff he did, which by the way, I’m actually pretty impressed by. From the recap he gave me, he actually said some useful stuff. But I will say something that he forgot to tell you.”

“And what is that?”

“That you’re wonderful, Trevor.”

That’s not at all what he was expecting to come out of the photographer’s mouth. All he can muster out is an “Oh?”

“Yeah. And obviously Jack believes the same thing. You know that. But you’re such a lovely guy, Trevor. I’ve known that since the day we met, don’t get me wrong. But I-I’ve talked to Isabelle a few times since the wedding, and she always brings you up. And it’s always positive.”

“What does this have to do with my feelings for her?”

“Do you feel like maybe you feel like you’re not good enough for her? Is that partially why you’re hesitating on telling her? Take out the fact that she was in a long relationship before and broke off an engagement.”

He blinks. “She told you about the engagement thing?”

“Yeah. She came out to Jersey to grab dinner with Jack and I, like, two weeks before she moved to California and told us then. That’s not the point.”

He doesn’t remember Belle mentioning that. But like Amelie said, not the point. “I-I don’t know. Maybe.”

“Trevor. You’re one of the best people I know.”

“That can’t be true,” he tries to protest.��

“But it is,” Amelie presses on. “You’re loyal. You’re funny. You have the ability to make anyone feel comfortable, even if you just met them. Your infectious energy elevates every room you walk into. You care deeply about everyone in your life. You were the first of Jack’s friends to be so openly kind to me and you continued to be kind to me even when I didn’t deserve it.” 

“I’m loud. Harsh. Always has to be on the go or I get bored. Life of the party maybe and a fun time usually, but that’s it.”

Amelie scoffs. “Respectfully, shut the fuck up. Okay, you’re all of those things, so what? You think she doesn’t already know? She probably knows better than any of us. I get being hesitant to do anything because she’s maybe on a different page, I get that. But it’s not because you’re not good enough. Get that shit out of your head.”

Trevor has to laugh, both at the abruptness of this call and unbridled honesty from Amelie’s voice. “I’m not gonna lie. Getting chewed out by my best friend’s wife wasn’t on the list of things I expected today.”

“If you think I’m chewing you out now, you’re lucky Clementine doesn’t know about this yet.”

Trevor actually shudders at the possibility of Clementine Sandoval (well, Clementine Hischier as of two years ago but old habits die hard), lecturing him about this. He still remembers Clem’s lectures she would give Quinn, Jack and Luke when they were all in Michigan. They would usually be over the phone, since she was already out in California for school by then, but even at 17, Trevor knew she wasn’t someone to be messed with. Who else in the world, besides Ellen Weinberg-Hughes, can somehow lecture all three Hughes brothers successfully in one breath?

“She doesn’t?”

“Eh, usually she would. But she’s in her last trimester and Nico would kill me if I stressed her out more.”

And well, Trevor thinks that’s fair enough. He quiets again, thinking. “You think we could be a good match? Belle and I?”

“Yes,” Amelie says with no hesitation. “And I’m not going to tell you why, because I’m pretty sure deep down, you already know.” 

He kinda hates that she’s right. Damn, is he this easy to read? He hangs up, but not before promising to give her a call more often. 

As they’re leaving practice, Jamie nudges him with his shoulder. “How’s Isabelle?”

“She’s good. She has a wedding in Santa Monica this weekend so I haven’t seen her that much this week.” 

“She a good roommate?”

Trevor smirks and elbows him lightly. “Better than you ever were.”

Jamie’s jaw drops, indignant. “Hey! I was a great roommate, thank you very much.”

“You were, you were. Nah, she’s great. We did Christmas just the two of us and it was really nice.”

“Just the two of you?”

“Fuck off, Jimmy.”

“I’m just asking! She chose not to fly home and stayed here with you instead. Ever think about what that could mean?”

Trevor has thought about it a lot recently, actually. But Jamie doesn’t need to know that. He lets out an uncommitted noise, but the look on Jamie’s face tells him that he’s not fooling anyone. Least of all, one of his dearest friends. 

Trevor needs to tell her soon. Or get over it. 

…..

Trevor never thought to really ask Belle if she wanted to go to a game, which is weird, because why wouldn’t he want a friend out in the stands to cheer him on? But he also knows that Belle wouldn’t be afraid to just ask if she wanted to go, and that her ideal time to unwind after work isn’t necessarily to go into a rowdy arena. She’s perfectly content snuggling in on the couch and watching the game on TV.

But when he mentions that Cole and the Canadiens are coming into town to play, she perks up. During the whole wedding weekend, Trevor could tell that she got pretty comfortable with Cole. Which, to Trevor, makes complete sense. Cole has the ability to make friends quickly and genuinely anywhere he goes. He leaves a ticket on the counter before heading to morning skate, as well as a note allowing her permission to raid his closet for any Ducks merch she so desires to wear. 

The game is a fun battle that goes into OT, but Leo gets the game winner with an assist from Trevor and the Honda Center goes nuts. Trevor has plans to grab dinner with Cole and Belle, and he’s in good spirits during media before he meets up with Cole and goes outside to where he told Belle to meet them. 

The boys see her before she sees them. Belle’s leaning against the wall of the arena on her phone, one of his jerseys tucked into black jeans and a black blazer completing the look. Cole calls out her name and she immediately puts her phone away with a smile, letting Cole hug her tightly with a chuckle. Trevor trails behind, watching the scene in happiness. Trevor tells Belle where he made dinner reservations, and she gets into her own car to follow them. 

As Trevor watches Cole and Belle talk at dinner, it’s overwhelming, his love for her. Cole’s pulling out some old-school stories from way back during their program days and Belle’s absolutely loving it, pulling out some of her own stories from her college days and Trevor feels so fucking lucky. There’s a particular thing that Cole says that has her coughing up her water and she’s laughing so hard and Trevor feels so fucking fond. 

Tomorrow, he promises himself. He has to tell her tomorrow.

…..

He doesn’t tell her tomorrow. But in his defense, he has to go on a road trip and she’s busy at work. 

Somehow, after dinner with Cole, he had gone to sleep earlier than she did but had woken up before her to a short but sweet note on the kitchen counter. In her cursive, he smiles at her words. 

Trev, 

Thank you for dinner and a fun game <3 Wanted to tell you tonight but by the time I got out of the bathroom you were already in bed (old man). Good luck on your road trip to wherever!! 

Love, 

Belle

He takes the note and folds it carefully, tucking it into his wallet. 

…..

At the end of the day, he ends up just blurting it out. 

He comes home from the road trip to the smell of something absolutely delicious floating through the house. He peeks his head around the corner to see Belle flittering around the kitchen, stirring something in a pot. The oven beeps and Trevor decides to make his presence known. 

“Smells good in here.”

Belle looks over her shoulder and he realizes she’s wearing one of his Ducks hoodies he must’ve had lying around. She beams. “Hey! Welcome home. I felt like making some good old grilled cheese and tomato soup with some roasted vegetables because I guess we need those. Don’t tell your coaches if this fucks up your diet-”

“I love you.” 

And well, shit, because that’s definitely not how he pictured this going. For a split second, he thinks he imagined it. But Belle freezes, her back towards him, and he has no idea what to do.

After what seems like a lifetime, she turns off the stove and turns around. “What?”

Trevor walks forward, “I love you. I’m in love with you. And I know you probably don’t feel the same way and that’s okay! I really don’t want this to change anything between us because I love our friendship. But I-I had to say it because it’s driving me crazy not saying it.”

“Trevor-”

“I know. I know. I’m sorry. Y-you’re such an important part of my life and I really hope this didn’t fuck everything up-”

Belle rushes towards him to put her hands on his shoulders, steadying him. He forces himself to take a deep breath and to stop his hands from shaking, staring at his feet. He’s breathing really fast, but Belle’s orange blossom perfume and touch calms him down ever so slightly. 

“You good?”

He swallows roughly. “Yeah, yeah. Sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologize,” she says softly. He gets the courage to look at her face. He sees her smile and he can’t help but smile too. She clears her throat. “I-I thought it was clear, but I guess I’m out of practice. I feel the same way, Trevor. I like you a lot. Maybe not…love. Yet. B-but you’ve become my favorite person. And these last few months have been so…lovely. I just-I haven’t said anything because I don’t know if I’m ready yet.”

“That’s okay,” Trevor rushes to assure. Because holy shit, she likes him back? This was farther than he thought he was going to get. He chuckles lightly. “I…shit. Sorry. I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact you like me like that.”

“Trevor,” she trails her hands down his arms to grab both of his hands. “Of course I do.”

“Oh,” he says softly. 

Belle’s eyes water, and Trevor immediately feels the surge to make her feel better. “But I don’t know if I’m ready, Trev. I don’t know when I will be. And I can’t be the asshole and ask you to wait.”

“Why not?” Trevor challenges.

Belle looks at him incredulously. “Because that’s unfair.”

“Well too bad. Because I’m not gonna listen to you.”

“What?”

“As long as you need. Take your time. I mean it. And when you’re ready, I’ll be here. I promise.”

She bites her lip, “Trevor, you can’t possibly promise something like that.”

“I can, actually. And I will.”

She opens her mouth, then closes it, before laughing. She squeezes her eyes shut as he places his hands on her cheeks to cup her face. “Okay.”

He raises an eyebrow playfully. “You’re not gonna fight me?”

She shakes her head. “You’ve never been the kind of person to back down.”

He laughs and he so wants to kiss her. But he doesn’t, instead just placing a gentle kiss on her forehead. “You’ll let me know when you’re ready?”

“If you’re still around,” she jokes. 

Trevor grins, his heart growing four times its size. He feels like it might explode out of his chest. “I’ll always be around for you.”

[nunalastor]

Kitsunesongs's First Man!Alastor

(Alt tags I guess: Exterminator Alastor, Blackjack AU, Angel Alastor, Radioapple)

(Character tags: Alastor, Lucifer, Lilith. Adam, Charlie and 'Cox' are just mentioned.)

'Bout to RAMBLE and SPECULATE

If everything in Eden went down the way it did before, and the angels consider Alastor the only "untainted" human, does that mean that Lilith and Lucifer were the only two sent down to Hell? I sorta feel like Al would've wanted to go with them tbh; Heaven's angels suck, total buzzkills.

How would Lucifer and Lilith feel about Alastor then? Did Lucifer even meet Alastor before he Fell?

As the "untainted" human, does Alastor become Heaven's poster boy? Is he the one that, eventually, they make the Leader of the Exterminator Army? For as sadistic as he is, I feel like he'd refuse the position. 1) Out of spite, and 2) due to the years of trauma every Sinner undoubtably has after enduring decades of annual genocides.

1st plotline that comes to mind:

Since he's the poster child for "good" humans, I imagine he's sorta Heaven's public relations guy. One day, millennia after Eden, he's scheduled for a high priority meeting last minute. Who walks through the door but the King of Hell himself? Far less chipper than way back when... good to see him back to normal!

Lucifer, for his part, isn't sure what to expect. He either didn't see much of Alastor in Eden, or never met him at all, only knowing what Lilith has said about him. He assumes that Alastor will be hostile and demeaning, just like every other angel up here- just like Adam. Alastor already didn't like Lilith when they were Created, so he must hate them after they ruined Eden and the rest of humanity. Appealing to him is very likely going to be a lost cause, but he made a promise to Charlie and he intends to see it through. He's surprised when Alastor greets him with open arms. When he listens openly to Lucifer's request, and seems interested. Maybe even excited about it.

Because for Alastor, this is the first familiar face he's seen in thousands of years- one that isn't Adam. This is the first project of the millions he's been brought that actually captures his attention; a redemption project, from none other than Charlie Morningstar herself.

They want permission, they want help breaking it to the public in an acceptable way. And Alastor's happy for the challenge. (He'd never say that he missed anyone from his time in Hell, but it's undeniable that the hazbins were an entertaining bunch, and he's so close to tearing his hair out due to sheer boredom.)

Speaking of the angels, I feel like he'd totally fuck with them by predicting massive historical events, leading them to think that he has some level of communication with God.

Extra funnies if there's radioapple slow burn and Lilith feels absolutely cucked that the man made for her is after her husband.

Alternative storylines that could also happen are:

1). Alastor taking the position as Leader of the Exorcist Army (suck it Adam) and how differently everything would've gone down.

Meetings with Lucifer, the meeting with Charlie, if he eventually would've 'accidentally' stayed behind in Hell. Maybe faked his own death so Heaven wouldn't go looking. Maybe had a freaky fangirl in the shape of a television demon that goes by Cox.

2). Alastor DID join Lilith and Lucifer in the Fall, and how different Hell itself would look with the three of them.

Maybe Blackjack trio? Because I imagine they would be on the fence about him (he very randomly rejected Lily without even knowing her, after all. Kinda rude; bruised her ego). But he very easily could've spun his decision to join their Fall as 'standing up for them,' which would earn him MASSIVE brownie points. Standing up to the angels and enduring Hell for them? Welcome to the team.

Would Lucifer be in such a bad place mentally if there were two people to help him out of the hole he was in? Would Lilith really need an impromptu 7 year vacation if there was actually someone else helping out with the work around here? Plus, her songs would do extra well on the radio. What a unit both first humans would make in Hell (and what a middle finger to Heaven's design). How would Charlie turn out with all three of their influences?

Or he could fuck off and do his own thing in the wilderness of Hell. Basically a cryptid. Rarely seen and incredibly dangerous to encounter. Has a cute little shack in the woods, or massive haunted mansion; probably both. I can totally see him in the bog witch aesthetic.

👀

[iwriteasfotini]

This is probably a VERY unpopular opinion, but I just saw a post about Jily becoming a secondary ship, I'm assuming to Jegulus? Ok, I'm not a ship purist, but I ship Jegulus over Jily (I can enjoy Jily fics though). My problem with Jily stems from canon Severus. I'm sorry, but you don't obsess about someone for like +20 years who doesn't love you back (and you don't get to be one of the most memorable characters of a seven book series if that is all you have going for you). I think there is bit more going on with Sev and Lily than we see in canon, namely because Harry is a horribly biased narrator where Slytherins are concerned, and Lily is long dead. And Sev doesn't want Harry to know anything about his past. We can be dogmatic and say it's because he regrets passing along the prophecy information which ended up getting Lily killed. Or we can be creative and think about other reasons why Severus wouldn't want Harry to know about his past. Maybe because it would be weird to tell your student (who looks EXACTLY like your arch nemesis from your school years, whose mother is your soul mate, and whose godfather is another one of your arch nemesis) "yeah, so your mom and I were destined for each other but couldn't be together because we ran in conflicting social circles in dangerous times, and your dad was in love with my other best friend (sorta stole him right out from under me to be honest), who was a dude by the way, and yet somehow you were conceived. But I promise they all loved you Harry."

Also, I've decided Lily was a badass (this is definitely hinted at in canon but not capitalized on at all). Badass Lily Evans and loving, doting, supportive James Potter doesn't work for me. I also think Regulus was a badass (also could be seen as hinted at in canon baring Sirius' annoying comments to Harry about Regulus which I may just end up pretending didn't happen; sometimes adult Sirius is more of a teenager than actual teenage Harry) and for some reason badass Regulus with loving, doting, supportive James Potter works much better. Sorry James, your badassery is limited to the Quidditch Pitch, your Transfiguration spell work, and how much you adore/support your badass boyfriend. But you're still an awesome guy.

Now I just have to figure out exactly what went down when Harry was conceived... and my head canon will be complete.

BTW my HC Lily is bi. And does NOT let Sev and all his annoying character complications hold her back. But yeah, Lily and Sev are "Always."

And I realize I actually aired two unpopular opinions Snily and Sev and Regulus being friends. I guess it depends on what other fanfics you have read which have stuck with you, because I haven't read any which have Sev and Reg as friends (although I can't remember what their dynamic was in Choices), but for some reason I've always assumed they would have been (they are only a year apart in age, both Slytherins, and both a bit moody, IDK?). Characterization of Sev is important here though, because I don't portray him as a dick. And the adult he turns into (bit more of a dick than he is as a teen, which I have some straight up issues with in canon) is born from immense suffering and trauma. Story of the Marauders if we are being honest.

[quibbs126]

Okay, so I saw a post on Twitter a couple days ago by @leonisloresmith, where basically the idea is that the Ancients used to look different before they got their Soul Jams, and I liked the idea a lot. Cut to 24 hours later and it’s still on my mind, and so I’m like “screw it I’m stealing the idea” and so we got this

So yeah, pre-Soul Jam Ancients. I guess it’s sort of an AU, since as far as I can tell, in actual canon the Ancients have always looked the way they do

It’s only Hollyberry, Dark Cacao and Golden Cheese because they were the only ones I had thought about things for. I had drawn Pure Vanilla, but I realized that I wasn’t working with any real ideas, I was just drawing him for the sake of drawing them all, so I decided to just finish up these three for now and save Vanilla and Lily for another day

The original post didn’t specify changing the ingredients, but I wanted to because to be honest, there’s not a whole lot you can do to change their appearances while keeping their original names in my opinion. But I thought I should keep their core flavors similar, still being vanilla, berries, cacao/chocolate, cheese and flower (though I stuck with lilies to be consistent)

I have names for all of them, though tbh I’m still debating White Lily’s

Juniper Berry -> Hollyberry

Cacao Nib -> Dark Cacao

Cheese Dust -> Golden Cheese

Vanilla Bean -> Pure Vanilla

Wood Lily -> White Lily

It isn’t the names for the other two I’m particularly stuck on, rather it’s their backstories. Speaking of which, let’s get to what I have

So first, Juniper Berry. Juniper here I’m thinking came from a family that runs an inn or tavern, mostly just because of the whole berry juice thing. I imagine that despite the likely rowdy nature of her upbringing, it was a pretty good one. Truth be told that’s all I think I have to say on the matter, a lot less than I thought

I made her juniper berries because I wanted something in a different color, maybe something blue. And also because I randomly saw that juniper berries are apparently used in gin, and again, berry juice. I apologize to the Hollyberry fans, I really just focus on the berry juice aspect of her character when I know she has more going on. I was debating if I should make her skinnier, with the idea that she would have grown physically after getting her Soul Jam, but then I thought that’d be a really bad idea so I kept her as is. She can still be a strong girl and have Cacao be the one with the large physical change. Also I made her eyebrows round because that’s what Royal Berry has

Speaking of Cacao Nib, let’s get to him. So I imagine that Cacao grew up somewhere around the coast of the region and that generally, what family he had wasn’t very well off, and that he had to take on a lot of responsibility at a young age to help out. He’s also very small, even for his age. He also might be mute, or otherwise just very quiet

Okay this is one of my hyperfixation characters so I have more to say on him. I was struggling with his flavor since there’s not a lot you can do while keeping him cacao, but someone suggested to me cacao nibs and I went with that. As for his eyes, well they’re red because of Dark Choco. As for why the eye lines are dark, if you recall a previous post, I said I’m now headcanoning him as having some ancestry from the Licorice Tribe due to having sea salt in his dough (though not like his parents or anything, grandparents at least), and so I wanted to reference that here, as well as with his pin. It’s also why I’m putting him at the coast. Now granted, I recognize it makes more sense to make him related to the Coffee Tribe, with cacao having caffeine in it and his dilated pupil thing, but shush, let me do what I want. I wanted to make him the shortest so that basically, when he gets his Soul Jam, he magically shoots up to being the tallest, or maybe second tallest behind Hollyberry. Also him being short fits in with my headcanon that he’s the youngest Ancient

Next up and our final one for today, we have Cheese Dust. So Cheese was technically an orphan Cookie, but she was taken in and raised by a flock of Cheesebirds. She likes gold and shiny things, and also she does a lot of inventing, making small gadgets in her spare time, and trying to figure out if she can make functional wings for herself

I went with cheese dust for her because I think her original book description talked about cheese dust in it. And it sounds a little better than Cheese Powder to me. I know I made her eyes completely different than canon, but in part it was inspired by the other non-Golden Cheese Kingdom Cookies like Cheesecake and Roguefort, and also her eyes being triangle shaped in old concept art. And I just wanted to. The hair’s inspired by other pieces of concept art with her hair down, though I was struggling with what color to make it, eventually going with this. I wanted to make her the second shortest, being a bit taller than Cacao (though the difference is a lot smaller in the final picture), with the idea that while Cacao grows after getting her Soul Jam, she doesn’t, and so now she’s the shortest of the group

And I think that’s it for now, hopefully I’ll be able to get ideas for Vanilla and Lily done soon, I hope you find this enjoyable

[phoenixs-fandoms-and-writings]

Rescue Me

Fandom: Harry Potter (Marauders Era)

Pairing: Sirius Black/Reader

Characters: Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Lily Evans, James Potter

Summary: When a guy starts hitting on you and getting creepy, you try to get the attention of your friends to help.

Reader is referred to with she/her pronouns and is referred to as a girl.

Notes: I don’t own Harry Potter. I am anti-JKR and her views. This is account is a safe space for all (except bigots, ableists, homophobes, transphobes, racists and any other people who are prejudiced against others for being different)

Cross-posted on AO3 under simplyreflected

You went for a night out with your friends James Potter, Lily Evans, Sirius Black and Remus Lupin. You loved getting to spend time with them as all four of them had been there with you through thick and thin.

The five of you had gone out to a club and you went to the bar to get another drink for yourself. As you were standing there, waiting for your drinks, it felt like someone was watching you. You glanced around and saw a guy standing a few seats away staring straight at you, and not breaking the stare, which scared you a bit.

“Can I help you?”, you asked him warily.

“Just admiring the view,” he said simply, while looking you up and down.

You turned away from him as the bartender put your drink in front of you. You picked it up and turned to leave, only to find him right behind you, and because of this, you almost walked straight into him. You spilled a little of your drink and it landed on the floor. You steadied yourself and as you did so, he took a step closer, closing you in. You could not get away from him. He made sure to put both his arms on the bar either side of you.

Knowing you could not get away from him, you glanced over where your friends were to see James looking concerned and staring at you silently asking if you needed help. You hoped how scared you were to get through to him as you looked him directly in the eye.

Thankfully, it seemed to as he turned to the other guys and said something to them, but you could not keep looking at them, because the idiot in front of you put his finger under your chin, making you look at him.

“How about we get out of here? I could show you what a real man feels like,” he told you.

You fought the urge to throw up in your mouth, but you didn’t have to do much as you felt someone wrap one of their arms around you, as they yelled, “hands off my girlfriend” at him and you realised one of your best friends; Sirius Black had come to your rescue.

He pulled you into his arms and kissed you. He pulled back and looked you in the eyes, “are you ok? Did he hurt you?”

You shook your head, and moved more into his arms. He moved his head down so you could whisper in his ear, “he didn’t hurt me, Siri, but he scares me and creeps me out. He won’t leave me alone.”

“That’s ok, doll,” he whispered back. “I’ve got you now.”

You put your head into the crook of his neck and hugged him as you heard him yell, “If you come near my girl again, I will hurt you.” His voice went deeper as he growled, “now leave.”

You guess he must have left because Sirius guided you to the bar stools and ordered drinks for both of you. The girl behind the counter told him, “they’re on the house. Not everyone would’ve done what you just did.”

“No, but she’s my best friend and the love of my life,” he told the bartender. He smiled softly down at you. “If you’ll have me, I’d love to be your boyfriend.”

You smiled up at him and you saw that he was looking at you with so much adoration, “I’ve been in love with you for the last three years, Sirius. I would be an idiot to say no.”

He kissed you and as you pulled away from each other, you leaned on him.

The bartender handed you your drinks. You turned and thanked her before both of you took them and proceeded to walk back to your friends.

Sirius wrapped his arm around you as you both sat down as he spent the next ten minutes telling the story and answering questions about it with so much pizazz to every one of your friends.

James, your best friend - aside from Sirius, smiled at both of you together, before laughing as he said, “we’ve been spending so long trying to get the two of you together and it turns out all it took was him saving you for him to get his act together and ask you out.”

[flower-boi16]

I would like to ask what your opinion is on MDHWrites's blog, or some of his most comprehensive takes criticizing the show at large, for he's covered a lot of ground. What is your regard for his opinions, if you have seen it.

The second I saw this ask pop up in my inbox my thought was "should I even answer this?". On one hand, I would like to express my opinions on Writes' TOH takes since I have er...strong feelings about some of them, but on the other hand part of me still feels a bit iffy about it.

For my 200+ followers who don't know who tf this anon is talking about; MDHWrites is a tumblr user who makes a heavy amount of posts critisizing TOH, he's kind of the most well-known TOH critic on this site, at least in the TOH critical commuinity (and yes, TOH has a critical commuinity).

I remember once randomly stumbling across Writes' blog when I was new to tumblr and first discovered that critical tags were a thing and I started reading some of his posts. I don't remember exactly what all the posts I read said but I do vaguely remember some of the points Writes' made in the posts.

This was at a time where I kinda just accepted critisicm of things I liked rather than actually thinking about the validetly of the takes, and since Writes' posts sounded proffesional enough (and because I went on the toh critical tag and watched videos critisizing the show WAY too much) I think I kinda just forgot why I liked the show in the first place...? I know that sounds weird but I first watched TOH when I was 13 (I'm 14 now) and my analysis skills were still developing at the time.

A couple of months later after I rewatched The Owl House and fell back in love with the show leading me to grow an attatchment to it that was stronger than ever before I thought back to Writes' posts and decided to revist his blog and read a handful of posts out of curiosity to see what his points were. And...I thought going in that there might be some good points about the show but...I can't really say I agree with any of his takes.

While I don't Writes' TOH takes are Lily Orchard levels of infuriatingly media illiterate, and Writes' doesn't look like a bad person...I don't think his TOH takes are that good. They sounded professional at first but everytime I think about them I notice more holes. That's all I'm going to say. I don't want to cover Writes' TOH takes in detail because I know some might alert him of this post, he'll see it and I'll end up starting an argument I don't really want that.

I guess I'll just say that I think his comments about the understood scene in the posts I read feel like he completely missed the point of it. The scene is meant to be a moment of realization for Luz of what she truely wanted, it's not intended to be a "character finish" and just because she realized what ultimately wanted doesn't mean that her self-loathing and guilt of helping Belos is just going to go away.

He even goes as far as to say it doesn't matter to Luz as a character in his post about filler in TOH, where he labled several episodes that are extremely important for outside context as "filler" by the standards of the general commuinity that complains about Amphibia's filler (that post is a whole other can of worms that I don't want to get into) which is just....baffling.

I could also get into things like Writes' takes on Luz's depression arc or his post about Waffles or his post about grom factor (a fan comic by moringmark) but again I don't want to say anymore things here beyond that.

I just don't agree with most of the takes that Writes has on the show. I will say sometimes he makes interesting points like his post about why the boiling isles woulden't work as a setting to a sequel series which does raise some valid points and his analysis of Boscha's "redemption" on my post that he reblogged was fairly interesting (though his reasons for Luz reaching out to the collector not making any sense weren't valid to me) but overall I don't care for his TOH takes.

[potions-of-dark-devotion]

Severus Snape & Lily Evans/Potter Character Comparison

I haven’t seen anyone talking about this before, but I actually think Severus and Lily have a lot in common in both their character traits and values as well as their vices and tendencies in times of stress. Most people tend to compare Lily favorably and Severus unfavorably, but i actually think they have a great deal in common and I can see how they would get along as friends for so long. I wanted to make a list of things I noticed, feel free to share your thoughts.

1. They are both over achieving academically minded people.

-This could be a combination of a) Their working-class backgrounds that drive them to achieve more than their parents were able to. Many working class kids teach their children to excel academically early as a way of improving their social status and economic standing. I know my parents did. b) they both seem like intensely curious people, interested in learning for learning sake. They both have an aptitude for potions. Gryffindor and Slytherin typically have classes together, and this would mean Severus and Lily would have taken potions together with Slughorn. Did they partner up? If they were the only Slythergryff friend group in the class it would have turned heads. Did they teach each other? It’s interesting to me that given this Slughorn does not remember Severus and Lily being friends or didn’t think it was worth mentioning. Lily made the slug club and Severus didn’t, even though he was in Slughorn house and had a gift for potion making.

interesting.

2. Both Severus and Lily lash out verbally when they are humiliated, and both of them have sharp tongues in their arsenal.

- Many people know this about Severus, but they tend to forget it about Lily. She ripped Petunia a new one when Petunia called her a freak. She immediately went personal and cut deep. She also immediately tore into Severus where she knew it would hurt most when he called her a mudblood. This is not me saying whether or not she was justified, just that when she’s cornered Lily can be just as cutting as Severus can be in a pinch. One wonders how many arguements there were between Severus & Lily vs The Marauders. And my guess is Lily probs made James secretly cry on more than one occasion.

3. Both of them gravitated to the center of the wizarding war conflict during the height of the first war. Likely they were both recruited and radicalized due to their intense talent for magic and their polar black and white natures.

-This is a controversial one. Not all Gryffindors were members of the Order of the Phoenix. We have no knowledge of how many Slytherins of Severus’s year became Death Eaters, but we do know that Voldemort targeted the most vulnerable and the most talented wizards to be his Death Eaters. Lucious was Severus’s prefect and it’s not hard to see how he might entice a poor half-blood desperate for power and survival to join a group that promises him both. As for Lily, appealing to her chivalrous nature to join the fight against Voldemort and against the wizard who had radicalized her former best friend would not be hard to do. Lily is not in her mind just fighting for herself, but fighting for those she pities, including Severus.

4. Both of them have a self sacrificial idea of what love means, and put that idea of love above all else including themselves. This ideal of love that they both share is what ultimately saved the Wizarding World from Voldemort.

- It seems both inherent and integral to the Harry Potter fandom to understand the sacrificial nature of Lilys love for Harry. It is the foundation of the books and it is the reason at the heart of which Voldemort can not understand in either Lily or Severus. It is the reason he never suspects Severus as a spy. We understand Lily and her sacrifice- we tend to forget Severus and his sacrifice. He sacrificed the entirety of his young adulthood to being a spy and protecting Lily’s sacrifice, and he sacrificed the entirety of his adult life in the last of the war. He gave up every facet of his life to dedicate himself to making sure that Harry not only survived but thrived long enough to take Voldemort down. I know many people gripe about Severus asking Voldemort to spare Lily and not James and Harry, but I don’t think they understand. Severus would have been insane to ask Voldemort to spare James and Harry when they were a part of the key of his downfall. Granted, maybe he didn’t care about James- but asking Voldemort to spare Harry is just madness. Yet, without Severus putting his life on the line to ask Voldemort to spare Lily, she would have never had the opportunity to choose to sacrifice herself or not. Severus ensured Lilys death would not be in vein. Both Severus and Lily sacrificed themselves for not only Harry, but the entire Wizarding world.

5. They both have an intense protective instinct to protect those closest to them.

- This seems to be a given for us to understand Lily. She is a mother and she also wants to protect fellow muggleborns. We take it for granted in Severus. Consider than under Slughorn many students became Death Eaters. Under Severus as Head of House, only one does, and even then Severus manages to save that child from committing any unforgivables. Severus cares for the well-being of his Slytherin students both academically and emotionally. It is telling that none of his students join the Death Eaters (some of whom are these children’s parents) during the Battle of Hogwarts. He raised them well. He protected them. And it payed off in spades. We already know of his protectiveness of Harry, but we usually don’t consider his protectiveness of Draco Malfoy. He puts his life on the line literally to protect him from making the mistakes in life that Severus made. That is so moving to me.

——————————————————————————

If you think of anymore please don’t hesitate to share your thoughts. I feel like people put Lily on a pedestal and put Severus beneath her, without considering how their friendship saved the wizarding world from slavery and allowed Harry to be the person he came to be. Their platonic love shaped the course of Wizarding History. It is not just a matter of Severus trying to live up to an unattainable romantic love. It is a case of Severus honoring the sacrifice of his former Best Friend and honoring the person she was. It is also a matter of his own protective nature and his own idea of sacrificial love that drives him. Ultimately, Lily is far more important in shaping Severus and he her than an unrequited love story allows.

[mj-102009]

Hi, I'm a fanfiction writer that likes feeling sad, movies, (long walks on the beach) and talking. And guess who just watched "It Ends With Us" and can't sleep because of it. Strap in folks, I have a lot to say and nothing to do for the next hour.

First if you haven't read the book or seen the movie here's a brief summary: "Lily Bloom moves to Boston to chase her lifelong dream of opening her own business. A chance meeting with charming neurosurgeon Ryle Kincaid soon sparks an intense connection, but as the two fall deeply in love, she begins to see sides of Ryle that remind her of her parents' relationship. When Lily's first love, Atlas Corrigan, suddenly reenters her life, her relationship with Ryle gets upended, leaving her with an impossible choice." -this was all found in google.

If you're interested then I would recommend you read or watch it before continuing. Should you move past this point you will find that this is a view of the MOVIE not the book. I have not read the book (however I plan too) and I will not claim to make a comparison between the two pieces. I have never been in a relationship similar to the one portrayed in the movie so if I do make a mistake regarding the circumstances then please do let me know.

-SPOLIERS BEYOND THIS POINT-

I have so many feelings about this movie that its getting ridiculously difficult not to listen to sad music and lay down in a puddle of my own tears.

I assume that its no secret to anyone that planned on watching this movie that it would be a wee bit sad. I'm here to tell you that I left this movie with my face covered behind my popcorn bucket trying to hide my swollen eyes. I've seen so many critics, comments, blogs, and even some articles that have said that there was too much angst in one movie; and when I had first seen them I scoffed and said "this movie was PERFECT," she babbles through gut tearing tears. But over the past few hours after watching this movie I feel as though there were a few things that seemed unnecessary.

Ryle's toxic behavior was definitely shown early in the film literally in the first SECONDS that he was introduced as he kicks a chair. And I think a portion of the audience may have seen the red flags but the remaining chunk (including me) was gawking at Ryle's biceps. As he progresses through the movie I definitely went back and saw the signs. However, I feel as though going from literally biting his wife's neck...to seeing what he did was wrong...was a little plot convenient. I didn't stay long after the big "IT ENDS WITH US" at the end so it there was a post credit scene please correct me. But, once he left the room after the divorce talk, did they coparent? Did he dip and start that prostitute career? This all seems very tied up with a bow to me.

Why can't we all find a man like Atlas? I loved Atlas from the start, I had no gripes with him. My guy did everything PERFECT. My issue however is not with his character or his writing- its the screen time. I would like to say that you can't try to convince an audience that they're in love when the only time we see Atlas is when Ryle is pouting off camera. The movie definitely was trying this messed up love triangle, there is literally a scene where the camera is behind a man and you can't tell who is really is until his face comes into view and we're all like- "Lily are you efing serious?" because it wasn't Atlas. And I can't even be happy at the end because I didn't know the guy enough to care about his relationship.

I want to hug and lecture Lily both at once. If I'm sitting on a roof and some crazy hot guy kicks a chair and ten minutes later tell me he want to have sex; I'm taking my chances with the street. Lily is so dumb blond coded, which isn't a jab at Blake Lively...its a statement. She has the personality of wet cardboard and ten minutes in I was so done. The whole time they're talking she's smiling like a toddler after pissing its pants. "It ends with us, blah blah blah" I inhaled deeply and dropped my head into my hands. How much more cliche can you be? She would be the first to die in a horror movie just because I'd get tired of her.

Another big issue I had was the time skips, how long was this on for? Two years before they got a divorce? (complete guess) In two years I would have spend a total of 700 days doing nothing. And Lily's dad died, she got married, divorced him, had a baby, and got back with the high school sweetheart? Dude I'm struggling to get up at 7 everyday and do my homework.

Again this is a really poor analysis, I write about fictional men.

[aeligsido]

[WM] Prompt 12 — Recovery.

Rating: T.

TW: past character death (it's James and Lily).

Characters: Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, Harry Potter, James Potter, Lily Evans Potter.

Additional Tags: grief, angst, a bit of comfort I guess?, set during OotP.

Summary: Sirius and Remus recover Harry’s baby book.

Words count: 442.

A/N: I like to play with the meaning of words. I hope you like it! ❤️

@wolfstarmicrofic

—

Remus looks over the two perfectly labeled boxes. They have followed him everywhere those past fourteen years, yet he hasn't opened them even once; too scared, perhaps, to delve right into his ever-present grief.

It’s not for him, though, and maybe this time it makes all the difference.

“You’re sure it’s in there?”

Sirius doesn’t look better than him, but he seems determined to go through it. His hands are shaking, Remus notices, but he doesn't say anything; he squeezes Sirius' wrist softly, and then lets go.

“Yes. I packed it up, I'm just… not sure in which one.”

Sirius nods, then takes a deep breath, and opens the first box. Remus stares a bit too long, maybe, hits by a wave of griefguiltdespair all too familiar.

He shakes himself up and opens the box in front of him.

Fourteen years ago, he went through what was left of James and Lily’s cottage and packed up everything that was dear to them and would want to see passed down to their son. He had been in a terrible state, then, but he does remember some of the objects he took — James’ glasses case with Euphemia’s embroideries on it, Lily’s favorite dress she was wearing when they told everyone they were expecting, the dog cup they always took out for Sirius.

Harry’s baby book.

It’s what they’re looking for right now, in the hope of giving it to the boy, no, teenager, perhaps for his sixteenth birthday coming soon.

Remus shifts carefully through the mix match of memories, passing James’ favorite book on the advanced theory behind the use of woods throughout wizarding history — a subject he had insisted was fascinating — as well as Lily’s small but precious collection of bookmarks, followed by a picture of their cat with Harry, before Sirius speaks.

“You really took a bit of everything, didn’t you?”

His smile is nostalgic and pained as his hand curls into the flowers-patterned blanket that used to adorn their friends’ bed.

“I guess so,” he says softly, his own hand hovering over a collection of notes passed during classes James for some reason kept.

Sirius breathes out. He lets go of the blanket, shifts things around carefully, and then tugs out the prized baby book.

“Here it is.”

They both look at the book, still in perfect condition, and don’t say a thing; for a while, there’s only a heavy, painful silence between them, Sirius’ hand clutching Remus’, and it feels like it’ll never disappear.

(Sirius seeks refuge with Buckbeak, and Remus packs up the boxes again, and maybe one day they'll manage to open them back with Harry beside them.)

[the-blind-geisha]

If you want… (´･ω･`) could I make a request, and it’s no problem if you don’t want to!

Where a Human-Player!MC was playing the game one day & either as a friend or a special event was able to somehow run into Demiurge, Ulbert somehow took him to a special game event that allowed NPCs. Which somehow leads to Demi getting a crush on them and he somehow gets them stuck in the game permanently to be with him…?

A/N: Sorry this took an eternity for me to get to! I'd be happy to do that! ♥

The NPCs were very rarely ever allowed to journey with their Creators outside of Nazarick or being summoned into dungeons and raids. But once Yggdrasil introduced a new event that would even place NPCs for quests at heteromorphic and humanoid areas for a celebration, the guilds realized their own self-created NPCs could join as well.

There were very few events that allowed a cease fire between both sides, but this was one of those events.

It happened twice a year, and that was it.

Regardless... even as an NPC, Demiurge remembered her.

She was a human, but she was the one human in that world that he could recall ever flattering him and his Creator. In the past, he would have preferred to destroy any and everybody that didn't align with Nazarick, but she was spared his aggressive gaze.

“Oh, I guess your Creator isn't here today, is he, Demiurge?”

He couldn't answer back then. He was just code running with limited abilities in which he could say or do anything. Even his 'speech' was limited to hurt and triumphant noises. With her standing close to him, he merely shifted his head from side to side to show the code HeroHero implemented inside of him.

Walking up to him, she used the /embrace emote to hug his character. The devil responded in kind, as most NPCs could react to a few simple emotes players did around them.

“I won this, by the way.” She dug into her inventory to pull out a flame lily. It was a beautiful flower with petals that reached upwards like a roaring flame, a dazzling yellow and red with orange at the center. “I thought you might like it.”

With the trade offered, the NPC went through the actions it was allowed to do in accepting the trade with someone that was deemed a friend under his list.

“There you go. Maybe now you can feel a bit better, huh?”

With such an item bequeathed to him, Demiurge placed his hand on his chest and bowed.

She gave a funny look. “Huh.. didn't know you could do that without someone telling you to or someone bowing in return...?”

When she said such a thing, the generated NPC's mind began to race.

I did, didn't I...?

¿I ʇ,upᴉp 'pᴉp I

“Well, I better get going,” she insisted.

Using the /blowkiss emote, she watched as Demiurge responded by acting bashful. Though the reaction felt delayed almost... Maybe it was just her imagination. Could be lag.

“Bye! I'll see you next year!”

The eyes opened, crystals glistening off of the light about him. He looked to his hands and turned them over to look at his palms.

For once, the devil was able to move his hands without someone making an action command on his behalf. There was something that was ordering him to go back to being rigid, following a code that remained embedded in his core being. But he did everything to fight that.

I can't let this cease... I have to do something... Demiurge thought frantically, reaching back into his inventory to pull out the flame lily to clip it upon his chest.

Sadly, he was snapped back to an idle pose he was often forced within.

It would take some doing to fight this invisible string that had a hold on him. But no matter what, he would do it. He would see himself freed of whatever was controlling him without even his Creator being nearby.

As the years of the celebration continued, fewer and fewer people arrived to attend. The joys of the gaming world were slowly starting to dwindle till merely NPCs roamed the gaming world with a few player characters.

But that didn't stop the archdevil from attending.

Demiurge waited as he usually did, but this time, he was alone. None of the guild members of Ainz Ooal Gown was there to stand at his side.

Admittedly, he was anxious. What if she wouldn't come? He had sent an email to her, addressing it cryptically. Who would truly come into a video game world if an NPC sent you mail? After all his time of fiddling with the game world data, he knew she would think it a bot or someone trying to trick her.

He had to be vague, but write to her as though he were human.

“So few people here but they said to meet them...!” Her words trailed off when she noticed the only one at Muspelheim's gathering point for the festival. “D-Demiurge...? How in the world did you get here by yourself?!”

She came closer, keeping a curious eye about. She didn't wish to feel tricked by this.

Demiurge didn't have the voice box to speak properly. Instead he used an emote of /hi for greeting before sending a text for her to read.

𝐼'𝓂 𝓈𝑜 𝑔𝓁𝒶𝒹 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒸𝒶𝓂𝑒. 𝐼 𝓌𝒶𝓈 𝓌𝑜𝓇𝓇𝒾𝑒𝒹 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓌𝑜𝓊𝓁𝒹𝓃'𝓉. 𝐼 𝒸𝒶𝓃'𝓉 𝓉𝒶𝓁𝓀 𝓁𝒾𝓀𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒸𝒶𝓃, 𝒷𝓊𝓉 𝓂𝒶𝓎𝒷𝑒… 𝒾𝒻 𝐼 𝒹𝒾𝓋𝑒 𝒾𝓃𝓉𝑜 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒸𝑜𝒹𝑒 𝒶 𝒷𝒾𝓉 𝓂𝑜𝓇𝑒, 𝐼 𝒸𝒶𝓃 𝒹𝑜 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉.

“Who is writing this? It can't be you...” Her words trailed off, feeling a ping of uncertainty. “...can it?”

Demiurge opened the text box once more to type yet again.

𝐼𝓉 𝒾𝓈 𝓂𝑒, 𝒟𝑒𝓂𝒾𝓊𝓇𝑔𝑒. 𝐸𝓋𝑒𝓇𝓎𝑜𝓃𝑒 𝒾𝓈 𝑔𝑜𝓃𝑒... 𝐼 𝒶𝓂 𝓈𝑜 𝓁𝑜𝓃𝑒𝓁𝓎. 𝒲𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓈𝓉𝒶𝓎 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽 𝓂𝑒?

This was getting a bit creepy. Never would she have imagined an NPC would become... real. There was always talks of 'ghosts in the machine' that could go rogue. Was this one of those moments?

Before she could even hope to log out, something seemed to prevent her from doing so.

“What is happening...? How come the logout button is grayed out?”

Demiurge gave a curious frown of concern.

𝒪𝒽, 𝒾𝓉 𝓌𝑜𝓃'𝓉? 𝒯𝒽𝒶𝓉'𝓈 𝑜𝒹𝒹. 𝐼 𝒸𝒶𝓃 𝓉𝓇𝓎 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓈𝑒𝓃𝒹 𝒶 𝒟𝑀 𝓉𝒾𝒸𝓀𝑒𝓉 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝓎𝑜𝓊, 𝒾𝒻 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓁𝒾𝓀𝑒?

“Oh, umm, that would be very nice of you.” It actually was, maybe she was overthinking it a bit. Maybe being alone for so long, she mistook his words as being weird. Just cool it, she thought to herself. He never was mean to you before. He was always very nice as an NPC.

Before she could even wait for a response, the screen went black. The connection to the game felt like it flat-lined.

Demiurge walked over towards her body, arms behind his back. Opening his mouth, he tried to form words for a moment.

“Mm.. the...re... There...” He knelt down, resting his hand on her back. “It's you and me now, my dear. Now we can be together in this world of paradise... forever.”

[my-own-walker]

Someone You've Never Seen Before

A Kyle Spencer Fan Fiction

frat!kyle AU, fem!main character, sexual themes, mature language, use of drugs and alcohol, frat boy antics

12.

"One, two, three!" Lily shouted, counting off before slamming her red solo cup on the table and raising it to her lips, taking in its contents swiftly. 

I did the same, as well as a few other girls. Tequila slid down my throat, bringing with it a slight burn and warmth that spread through my chest. I shivered and squealed, a bit of energy surging through my body all at once. 

The kitchen was packed solid with bodies. It was a small space that seemed to be bulging at the seams with people. We nestled into the crook of the counter right next to the fridge. As soon as we settled, we had to move multiple times for droves of people getting drinks. The spot was a hub, and we were in the way.

We didn't care, though, because we needed a surface to do shots. We landed in that area after realizing the party was so full, that it would be impossible to enjoy it sober. Lily's sorority sister Sarah brought a bottle of cheap tequila, so we went to work.

Lily tapped my shoulder, knocking me out of my own little world, and pointed her finger in the direction of what I could only assume was the bathroom while saying something I couldn't make out over the buzz of the room. 

She and Sarah disappeared into the throngs of people. I turned back to the counter and poured another shot, took it, and then mixed yet another shot with soda. I swirled the liquid in my cup with my finger and departed from our spot. I knew Lily was not likely to return. I was sure she didn't care anymore. She was too faded already.

I relocated to what I guessed was the living room. There were couches occupied with individuals drinking and making out, and there was a TV in the corner with music coming from it. I winced each time someone got too close to the expensive electronic device, fearing it may tipple over from the actions of one too-drunk person. A free spot on the wall opened up, so I made a beeline for it. 

Leaning against the wall, I pulled out my phone. I saw a few notifications, including a text from Kyle. Where are you? it read. I lifted my head and scanned the room, looking for the one person I wanted to see most.

As if on cue, I locked eyes with the most enchanting pair of brown eyes. A familiar sight, as of late. His lips curled into a soft smile. I mustered one back. I was actually so flustered, which caught me by surprise.

At that moment, I took stock of my appearance, suddenly all too sure I looked bad. Possibly the worst I'd ever looked. It was busy, I was drunk, and I turned red when I was hot and drunk. It simply wasn't fair that I was in the presence of him. He looked stunning. His blonde hair was slightly messier than usual. He wore a black long-sleeved shirt with loose-fitting jeans. His skin had a glow, while mine was covered in sweat.

I stood, transfixed on him, disgusted with myself for feeling inferior, for even a moment, to Kyle Spencer. The internal war waged on.

"Hey," he started.

I couldn't help but giggle. "Hi," I breathed.

He stooped down, putting his mouth right on my ear. "I don't think we've met," he whispered. His breath hit my skin, causing goosebumps to cover my skin in an instant. He stood straight again and smiled at me.

"No, I'm sure we haven't," I replied with a wink, laughing at his advance. 

"You look so good," he shouted, loud enough so I could hear it over "m.A.A.d city" by Kendrick Lamar. I blushed.

"So do you," I returned. I lifted my hand to touch him, then stopped, rethinking my decision. He noticed and laughed.

"You know, it's really loud in here..." he smirked, his left hand reaching back to scratch the back of his head. He looked around slyly as if to say, Let's go somewhere more private.

He stuck out his right hand and motioned for me to grab it. I shoved my phone into my jean jacket's pocket and switched the hand my drink was in. Then, I grabbed his palm with a sly smile and began to follow him.

The crowd seemed to part for him. Typical Kyle Spencer shit. He led me through the sea of people further back into the house. Down a small hallway was a set of stairs. There were bodies on the stairs, all engaged in various...activities. Kyle led me upward, dodging couples as we went.  Once we were upstairs we traversed down the hall, stopping at the second door on the left. It was an unoccupied bathroom. 

"Now, where were we?" he asked, beaming his 5-star smile once again. 

I wasted no time, grabbing his face and kissing him passionately, sickeningly hungry for his touch. He wrapped his arms around my waist, squeezing tightly. We both breathed heavily, huffing into each other's mouths between kisses. I pulled at his shirt, he took a handful of my hair.

Our kisses got deeper, and the space between us disappeared. We became one. I heard the doorknob turn behind us, then, I heard the door swing open. I didn't even have a second to turn my head before I heard him.

"Holy shit, Kyle," Archie laughed. Both of us scrambled apart, turning to see Archie Brener occupying the doorway. "Kyle Spencer, you dog."

"Archie, stop," Kyle warned, in a tone I didn't expect. It was less shocked, less caught-in-the-act than I expected. It was more of a knowing tone. He didn't seem at all embarrassed.

"At a party? Dang, do you actually like her, or something?" the obnoxiously drunk frat guy asked. "I guess I owe you when we get back home." He slurred his words, but I heard him loud and clear. 

"Owe?" I asked, voice small, glancing at both of them. The panic in my body paralyzed me.

"Please, not here-" Kyle began, interrupted swiftly by Archie.

"You work quick," he announced. "The way you were on her was so convincing. You won the bet, dude."

The room went silent. All of the air left, sucked up by the vacuous words that had just left his lips. I glanced over at Kyle, whose head was down, gaze firmly locked on his shoes. I couldn't breathe. My lip trembled slightly, tears threatening behind my eyes.

"What bet?" I mustered, voice cracking, my eyes fixed firmly on Kyle, who hadn't moved a muscle in what felt like hours.

"Kyle and I-" Archie started from the doorway.

"No," I interrupted, shooting a look over at him before returning my stare to Kyle, "I want him to tell me."

Archie shifted his weight uncomfortably before taking a step back, further away from the bathroom. I could hear him walk away as I surveyed the boy I thought I knew just seconds prior. The boy whose silence took up so much space, it had no choice but to enter my chest, wrapping around my heart, squeezing it so tightly I thought I would die.

"Hannah," he croaked, eyes still trained on the floor.

"Kyle," I returned.

He turned to face me, his brows knitted, eyes glazed. "He was just being stupid," he murmured.

"Why don't I believe that?" I replied, voicelessly, tears holding any sound hostage. "Tell me the truth."

"I- I just," he stammered.

"Tell me the truth," demanded, finally producing some noise.

He rubbed his face with both of his hands and dropped them down heavily to his sides. "It was a bet...a bet between Archie and me," he muttered, "a-about you and, and uh, Lily."

A tight knot formed in my stomach. It lurched as if the roller coaster I was on took me on a steep drop. Tears gathered in the corners of my eyes.

"It was, it was that night at TKE. When you, uh, got defensive about Lily," he continued quietly. "We made a bet to see which one of us could, uh, date one of you, um, first."

"Why?" My voice shook. He shook his head, letting a few tears slip down his cheeks. The show of emotion disgusted me. 

I turned on my heel and rushed out of the room storming down the stairs and through the party. It was unavoidable. I crashed into a few unfortunate party-goers as I tried to leave as quickly as I could. The room blurred, lights and colors becoming a twisted amalgamation of each other, like the messiest, most awful watercolor painting in the world. 

The cool air of September nighttime was as welcome as a warm embrace in a snowstorm. The fresh air filled my lungs in stark contrast to the stifling air inside the house. I walked as fast as I could for as far as I could, traveling as far from the party as I could. I needed to get away so no one could see me break down.

I got down the street and turned the corner before collapsing in a heap on the sidewalk. I sobbed loudly into the sleeve of my jacket, not even stopping to take a breath.

Given his history, I should have known better. Part of me resisted falling for him, and I kicked myself for not listening to it. The part of my brain that was screaming for me to run, begging me to be rational, pleading for me to stick to my frat-hating guns. I was sick to my stomach with anger and sadness and the most unforgivable feeling of betrayal.

"Hannah!" I heard, alongside running footsteps. It was the last voice I wanted to hear. I looked up and saw Kyle jogging toward me.

I don't know what came over me. I stood immediately and rounded on him as he came upon me. "What? You're here to add insult to injury?" I shouted. "What are you going to say, huh?"

"That I-"

"What, that you really liked me?" I laughed, darkly. "You are a sick person, you know that?"

His expression changed, switching from concern to shame.

"You and your fucking brothers have a fetish for making people like me look dumb. You insist upon trying to paint me as a fool," I cried. "Since I started here, people like you called me a lesbian, or a hard-ass or made me feel bad for not being able to take a joke. Well, guess what? You're not fucking funny. None of you are! You're just fucking mean. You're evil."

"Hannah," he muttered despair in his expression. He stepped toward me.

"No. Get the fuck away from me. Stay the fuck away from me," I warned. "I'm not your friend. I never was. I don't want to see you again."

Previous Part | Next Part

[mauveberries]

I saw your anti-Jegulus post, and wanted to offer my two cents. I actually don’t personally mind Jegulus as a ship itself (I wouldn’t call myself a fan or anything, but I’m not too bothered by it), but I actually do think a lot of the fanon portrayals of Jegulus have constant hints of misogyny. For example, I’ve seen a lot of Jegulus fics/headcanons about Lily having a baby and essentially abandoning her family in order to leave room for Jegulus raising Harry. It’s a very tired cliche of fans of MLM ships trying to get women out of the way any way they can, as long as they can get use out of them first (in this scenario, Lily giving birth to Harry).

Another common thing I see is the criticism/opinion that Jily is boring (which is absolutely fair, everyone is entitled to their opinion) but then project a lot of Jily’s tropes onto Jegulus (some that I’ve seen are matching patronuses, James being extremely infatuated and pining over Regulus, or making Regulus’ personality identical to canon Lily’s and then turning Lily into a bland, one dimensional character). I think where people are coming from is that because of this, it genuinely feels like these people would in fact like Jily, and the only issue they have with it is that Lily is a woman. I also find myself genuinely wondering if Regulus would be as popular as he is now if he were a female character.

I don’t think people who like Jegulus are individually being misogynistic, I think it’s more of the general concept of Jegulus becoming popular and the treatment of all characters involved has strong undertones of misogyny.

This isn’t meant to be hateful or combative btw, so I hope it didn’t come off that way. I just saw your post and wanted to offer my perspective on it.

oh no worries anon, your message is clear. and you are right, the jegulus fandom is misogynistic in the way that you say that they are, and i dislike that.

but the point of my post is that you can't exactly be mysogynistic towards lily evans, because the author herself is already misogynistic towards her. my point was that jily is no better than jegulus.

think of it this way, lily evans, the mother of the protagonist of the series, whose love saved the protag’s life should have a more prominent role in the series. but instead, her whole life is portrayed to revolve around male characters. her role in ths story is reduced to being a mother. [i'm not saying motherhood is a bad thing, i just wish it was explored with more complexity and nuance.]

jily is also the most basic, misogynistic heterosexual pairing ever imo. james is immature, lily is mature, and james changed for her because he wanted her to like him.

that's it, that's literally it. the fact that james 'changed' himself is the more important part of their dynamic. lily herself is not shown having any feelings for james, and how she went through the process of forgiving him. james is this manchild, with atrocious behaviour and he's expected to change for lily. it's like lily isn't even her own person anymore!

i don't like the jily dynamics as well because james was lowkey blackmailing lily into dating him and the way that their romance is pprtrayed, it feels like she just eventually accepted it, after he 'changed.'

at this point, even though it was lily's love that saved harry's life, she is such a non-entity in the series. harry is portrayed to be more interested in learning about james, and lily is depicted as having NO concrete friends in canon! the mary detail in canon hardly counts because that scene was more focused on snape! another man. seriously! every aspect of her life revolves around some GUY.

not to mention, after she graduates, guess what. she stays at home to take care of the baby while james becomes a strong auror! are you seeing this?! she's a trad wife. she's literally a stay-at-home mum because she decided she wanted to get knocked up in the middle of the war. the only counter-point to this is if voldemort wasn't after harry, she might have gone to work, but it is iffy, too, because who decides it's a good idea to have a baby in the middle of a war? she could have fought alongside james but nooo she has to watch while james puts his invisibility cloak on to goof around with sirius while her baby's life is in danger.

"it genuinely feels like these people would in fact like Jily, and the only issue they have with it is that Lily is a woman." <- you're right anon, but this doesn't matter to me as i feel that both the ships are equally bad.

tl;dr: jily is also a lowkey misogynistic in my opinion. jegulus is just as bad, and you are right, some of its fans are misogynistic as well.

[cctinsleybaxter]

2023 in Books

I need to stop bragging that I’ve got this reading thing all figured out, because man if 2023 wasn’t a year of terrible books. I liked less than half of the 37 I read and nothing quite gripped me in the way it has in years past… but to put it more optimistically I liked a full third of what I read, and the ones I liked best were a fascinating and unexpected silver lining. Without further ado:

Cyrano de Bergerac by Edmond Rostand, trans. Brian Hooker

Tell this all to the world- and then to me. Say very softly that… she loves you not.

I read a couple of plays this year for the first time since college and liked them fine, but there’s a reason this has been adapted five million times. Everyone go watch Megamind right now.

Wylding Hall by Elizabeth Hand

Of all the found footage-inspired horror fiction I’ve read this one makes the best case for existing in its chosen medium, as a 70s UK folk rock band are interviewed about the summer they spent recording what would become their final album [thunder crashes.] It reminded me of a Tana French mystery in its language and ability to make space feel lived-in; the character writing is so strong I realized that at some point I had stopped checking the interview headings to know who was speaking. Hand unfortunately distrusts her audience to read between the lines at a few crucial moments (and ruins what would have been a perfect ending and a deeply affecting scare by gilding the lily, or, in this case, photograph), but I love that she went from seemingly by-the-numbers American YA fiction to a meticulously-researched and truly unique horror novella. Puts other writers working in the genre to shame.

A Kiss Before Dying by Ira Levin

Reminiscent of the best kind of TCM suspense thriller (and was adapted into one), but could only exist as a book for the kind of narrative tactics it employs. Levin is brilliant at setting and character; I think any one of his contemporaries would have leaned into archetypes for this sort of story, and he instead distinguishes his proper nouns in subtle, clever ways that lend them the weight a noir needs. Can’t wait to read more of his stuff!

All the Names They Used for God by Anjali Sachdeva

I’d like to know why this anthology got hit with what a friend has termed a pottery barn throw pillow cover + a ‘the tiny things we know to be small’ title, because the eponymous story isn’t even called that! It’s just The Names They Used for God, and is, appropriately, about two women kidnapped by a religious extremist group. High risk-high reward; I think taken at their base premise the stories could have been insufferable and are instead strange, compelling, and fantastical. There’s a methodicalness and, I don't know, lack of whimsy? to them that’s unusual for fantasy, but also an absence of any one goal or moral in the way Le Guin speaks so highly of. It made me feel the way I did reading and adoring Kelly Link in middle school, and Sachdeva has a much different style that I guess works all the better on adults. My favorite was Robert Greenman and the Mermaid.

Seabiscuit: An American Legend by Lauren Hillenbrand

Someone recommended this to me via Tumblr anon over five years ago, so let me start by saying if that was you I’d like to thank you properly! This book rules! It was written in ‘99 so falls prey to a very specific kind of jingoism, but the mechanics of that are interesting in and of themself. Seabiscuit the animal is a lens through which to view turn-of-the-20th-century America written from the precipice of the 21st; his story told through the expertly-researched biographies of his owner, trainer, and jockey. Hillenbrand is not only a good pop nonfiction historian, but has been a sports writer since the 80s and I never imagined the genre could be so thrilling as I did reading her work. Horse racing is insane and no one should be riding these things btw.

The Age of Innocence by Edith Wharton

It was one of the great livery-stableman’s most masterly intuitions to have discovered that Americans want to get away from amusement even more quickly than they want to get to it.

Wharton came from old money New York*, was deeply disillusioned with it and pined for rational (i.e., even more insane) social and political scenes, had myriad thoughts about women and gender relations, and held a love for interior design. I learned all of this after reading but it’s apparent on every page; deeply funny and perceptive, fantastic use of language, the moments where it lost me completely nothing if not interesting. What sticks with me the most are a flair for the operatic and an ability to voice both the feeling and consequences of losing oneself to imagined scenarios. Read the pink parasol scene.

*Ancient Money New York; the saying ‘keeping up with the Joneses’ is apocryphally attributed to her father’s side of the family

Owls of the Eastern Ice: A Quest to Find and Save the World's Largest Owl by Jonathan S. Slaght

We’d return to our camp to huddle in the freezing tent and wait for our owls in silence, like suitors agonizing over a phone that never rings.

One of the better pieces of science writing I’ve read in a long time, as Slaght frames rural communities as a quintessential part of ecology rather than a barrier to it. His style is amiable and matter-of-fact (sometimes overly so; the amount of metric GIS directions, help), but he's super engaging and clearly holds just as much compassion for people and history as he does animals and natural landscapes. The Blakiston’s fish owls he’s studying are described as unreal, with hoots so low and quiet it sounds like someone has thrown them under a blanket. You can listen to them here.

Piranesi by Susanna Clarke

Took my breath away and surprised me in a way a book hasn’t in years. I'd read Clarke’s 2004 novel when I was maybe fourteen and had vaguely positive but mostly neutral memories of it, and Piranesi being sci-fi-fantasy that came recommended by Tiktok had me very dubious. I ended up devouring it in the way I haven’t read books since I was fourteen; more of a mystery than the suspected high fantasy, with characters I would do disservice to in trying to describe in brief. While the mystery isn’t difficult to ‘solve’ (I’d argue the book also skews young!), the story ends in a way that’s both deeply unexpected and in the only way it could have.

Honorable mentions

The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas, trans. Peter Washington

[Jigsaw voice] Every man has a devouring passion in his heart as every fruit has its worm.

I spent so much time running my mouth about this one on Tumblr there’s really not much left to say. I think it’s a work of genius that was physically exhausting to read, and I’m sticking it with the honorable mentions mostly because I remember The Three Musketeers being the better book. If you want to read Dumas- and you should- start with that one.

Jonny Appleseed by Joshua Whitehead

I would’ve liked this more had I read it in my late teens/early 20s, but I still think it’s pretty good and would absolutely recommend to anyone in that age bracket. Things that normally annoy me about philosophical first-person lit fic didn’t matter under the weight of Jon’s narratorial voice. He reminded me a little of Lynda Barry’s Maybonne in his understanding and depictions of community and family; his stream of consciousness letting contradictions sit rather than trying to explain them away (Whitehead also makes sex very prosaic and pretty-sounding while still being frank and gross about it, which is a rare talent!)

The Seeds of Life: From Aristotle to da Vinci, from Sharks' Teeth to Frogs' Pants, the Long and Strange Quest to Discover Where Babies Come From by Edward Dolnik

This one fell in the rankings because the writing isn’t my favorite (think early days Vulture article rather than NYT), but I cannot stop referencing it in conversation. I want to read the whole thing to people and make them understand how truly unfathomable it is not only that every one of us is the product of 1 sperm and 1 egg, but that anyone ever figured out how that process works. When Western Europeans first started using microscopes they studied water; there were gross little bugs in there to watch and enjoy, so when semen was revealed to have its own bugs no one was shocked, but they also weren’t impressed. We would not see one enter an egg until EIGHTEEN SEVENTY-FIVE.  

Killer Dolphin by Ngaio Marsh

The Malaise of First Night Nerves had gripped Peregrine, not tragically and aesthetically by the throat but, as is its habit, shamefully in the guts.

Has made it into my top 5 favorite Inspector Alleyn mysteries. I’m not keen on Marsh’s theater settings (and there are a LOT of them), but a convoluted setup made this one all the more rewarding. The final revelation as to a point of blackmail is visceral and bizarre in a way I haven’t seen from her before.

The Wretched of the Earth by Frantz Fanon

We all have dirty hands; we are all soiling them in the swamps of our country and in the terrifying emptiness of our brains. Every onlooker is either a coward or a traitor.

Best read in conversation with other writers, I wouldn’t recommend Fanon as the end-all-be-all introduction to communist and socialist thinking (the fact that he inadvertently describes what was going wrong with the USSR at time of writing is fascinating), but he explicitly invites that conversation and the value and impact of his work really can’t be overstated. Our points of disagreement tend to be in regard to nationalism, not his condonation of violence.

Persuasion by Jane Austen

Fascinating to see how Austen was thinking about relationships near the end of her short life. I laughed to see the idea of preferring your brother-in-law’s family to your own was back in full force from my own favorite Emma, as well as an eleventh-hour ‘maybe I should ship the villains??’ My biggest issue is that, like Emma, Persuasion is written in third person limited narration, but Anne is fundamentally Good™ so doesn’t need to learn anything about herself or the world; critic Bob Irvine points out that she and her dashing, misogynistic sailor are beset rather than changed by it. That said I love a people being beset by people (concussed temptresses) places (Bath) and things (cars), and Austen's writing style is really firing on all cylinders here.

[ncisfranchise-source]

“NCIS” wrapped up Season 21 with a high-stakes murder investigation, an underwater rescue mission and one of its agents accepting a new job on the opposite coast.

Episode 10, “Reef Madness,” followed the team’s investigation of the murder of three victims whose bodies were found aboard an old Navy ship that was set to be turned into an artificial reef. The start of the episode also featured Vance (Rocky Carroll) offering Jessica Knight (Katrina Law) a job as chief of a new NCIS REACT (Regional Enforcement Action Capabilities Team), which would have her leave her current team and potentially move away.

The investigation led Knight and Parker (Gary Cole) back to the ship on their own, where they end up trapped in the engine room, with Parker injured, after a suspect pursuit went wrong. The tense twist set the stage for a heroic moment for Knight as she swam in freezing waters in an attempt to find help to save herself and Parker before it was too late for them both.

By the end of the episode, the rest of the team solved the murder and rescued both Knight and Parker — who gave viewers a peek at his childhood while injured thanks to him having a hallucination featuring his childhood friend Lily. After her hero spotlight, Knight gave Vance an enthusiastic yes to his job offer, leaving a devastated Jimmy (Brian Dietzen) watching his girlfriend agree to the life-changing position from a distance — and Katrina Law’s future on the show in question.

“NCIS” coshowrunner Steven D. Binder said that the new job was a long time coming for Knight, teasing that audiences will be “pleased” with what happens next.

“What that means is [expect] surprises you’ll have to guess at,” Binder told TheWrap of the finale cliffhanger.

With a long summer hiatus ahead for “NCIS” fans, Binder broke down Knight’s big underwater moment, the future of her relationship with Jimmy and exploring “unusual pairings” within the team in Season 22.

TheWrap: The show has hinted at potential big changes for Jessica Knight when her father visited, but this new job opportunity took everyone by surprise. Why have her face this decision to potentially leave the team?

Binder: There’s this understanding of emotions driving the story. So either she’s happily in a relationship with Jimmy for the rest of their lives until the show ends, or they’re not. And if they’re not, what’s that look like? And we thought something larger would have to come along to set that wheel in motion.

I’ll use a good example of Michael Weatherly, Tony DiNozzo. When he left the show, that’s when we brought Ziva’s character — who we presume was dead — revealed she was not and brought in a child. Because we thought, what really would lead a character like that to leave the show in a way that you couldn’t fault them for, necessarily? Because you don’t want people yelling at your character for leaving the show.

At the end of the episode, Jessica accepts the job as the new REACT chief, meaning she’s leaving the team and potentially moving to the West Coast. What does this mean for Jessica, and Katrina Law’s future on the show?

Well, we hope it means good things for Jessica’s future for sure. As for Katrina’s future, you know, we like to keep the audience guessing, and surprise them. So I think what that means is surprises you’ll have to guess at?

So is Katrina leaving the show?

I will say that we strive to please, and the audience will be pleased.

Jimmy doesn’t have the best reaction to the news. He lashes out at Jessica while recalling all the people he’s said goodbye to in his life. While he regrets his meltdown, he looks pretty devastated when she takes the job. Could they make long distance work, or are they broken up for good?

They’re both mature people. Jimmy has his moments on the deck of the boat where he kind of lashes out at Knight… But even though he gets upset and lashes out at her, clearly, this whole thing opened up something larger that’s been brewing for him in their relationship. This isn’t just an instance of something happening and then them reacting to it and regretting their actions.

Things got pretty stressful for Parker and Jessica after getting locked in the ship and Parker’s injury. But it leads to Knight’s heroic moment when she swims in freezing cold water to save herself and Parker. How was it to translate that scene from what was written on the page?

It’s tough to really do underwater stunts like that… A major motion picture [would spend] $100 million on a sequence like that, and we didn’t have millions and millions of dollars. We had like a day or two to do it, but I think we did a really good job of getting the intent of what was on the page.

We obviously would have liked to shoot more underwater, but there wasn’t the screen time for it, to be honest. But we got a taste of it. I think the audience will get what is happening there, and that she is risking her life in a terribly frightening way… Going underwater and swimming in the dark to a place [she doesn’t know], with a guy who’s about to pass out holding the safety rope? That’s a lot of fun.

In his delirium, Parker hallucinates a little girl named Lily, who we find out is a childhood friend of Parker’s. What are you excited to explore from Parker’s backstory in Season 22?

This is one of the rare instances where we introduce something that we have an idea of where it’s going [from the start]. I’m a big fan of putting these concepts out there and letting our really great writing staff [follow it from there]. It’s like a little hook and they hook on to it.

But this is not one of those times. This is one of those times where the backstory was thought of first and we had to wait for the right moment to put it in an episode. This seemed like a natural fit. [Writer Scott Williams] is great at stuff like this, and I think he’ll be the one to pay it off [next season]. So keep an eye on scripts credited to Scott Williams.

A shortened Season 21 seems to have led to some impressively creative episodes — the Texas visit with Nick riding the horse to chase a suspect was a special highlight. How was it to craft a season with less than half the usual episode order for NCIS?

Now like most things, these things have their challenges and then also their benefits. It was challenging because we really didn’t have the time to create any sort of runners that ran through the episodes, or develop any any sort of character storylines to slow roll over the course of the 20 to 24 episodes…

But [it was] also liberating because now you don’t have to spend your mental resources on that, you can just really focus on interesting, good stories, which has always been the bread and butter of this show. Good, standalone stories that you can dive into with characters that you like — so it was helpful in that regard. And I finally had some bandwidth to write one, so that was fun for me too.

I had always wanted to do an alien episode. So I got to do that with a great team, Aurorae Khoo and Gina Gold. They came to me and they said, “That guy testifying before Congress about the UFO… what if he turned up dead?” And I said, “That’s interesting.”

So do aliens exist in the “NCIS” world?

I personally think they absolutely exist in the world. Whether or not they’re visiting us is an open question, or whether or not they’re going to let us know they’re visiting us. But I’m pro-alien, and I think probably most of the audience is too.

Season 22 brings the show back to a regular series order. Have you started thinking about where the show goes from here?

One of the things we want to focus on this next coming season is unusual and fun pairings. We’ve done that in the past to some degree… but people we don’t normally get to see together… We really want to shake things up.

And then the other thing I want to do is, haven’t come up with a catchphrase for it yet. But when an actor says “my character wouldn’t do that.” That’s the thing you hear all the time.

We want to come up with things that our characters wouldn’t do and put them in situations where they are going to do that, because the situations are so extreme and they have to do things they wouldn’t normally do. I want to make that a North Star for the writers next season, because it’ll be something interesting to watch and puts the pedal to the metal on some of these character psyches.

[cvbullshit]

Influencers (Dusttale: Bad Influence x CV)

Before we get started:

-The "Dusttale: Bad Influence" AU is created by @liliallowed / @lilibanned

-I did this solely for fun

-If I got characters wrong, I'm sorry lili

-This is not canon... To at least Dusttale: Bad Influence

Part 2:

Not the Greatest First Impressions

Noelle stared at the group in front of her, confused yet somewhat excited actually. The tall skeleton stared down at her while the others stared from behind him. The staring was getting a bit worrying.. The small skeleton smiled more and crawled over to the tall skeleton, crawling on him until he reached the taller's shoulders.

"Who.. Are you guys?" Noelle asked, "I thought Sans said no one was left and.. Huh?" She glanced to the two human females of the group, monsters she would've expected but two more humans in the Underground was new, especially two at the same time. "Oh, we're from an alternate universe!" The small skeleton piped up simply.

...

"A what now..?" Noelle asked, her expression being one of utter confusion and slight concern, unsure if the small one was being serious or not, he sure seemed serious. The taller one sighed, "It's a lot to take in and explain, so just trust us on this." He said. Noelle just stood there, staring, unsure of what to say, she glanced to the other members of the group to see if they were just as confused as her, yet they were not. In fact, they looked like this was completely normal to them. "An.. Alternate Universe?" She asked. The smaller skeleton went to speak again before the uniformed human walked to Noelle, "Let's just take this one step at a time, okay? My name is Monika, it's nice to meet you!" She said, smiling kindly at Noelle, which snapped her out of her confused state. "O-oh! I'm Noelle, nice to meet you as well!" She smiled a bit, deciding to push her confusion back a bit to focus on her excitement. Monika looks towards the group, "These are my friends!" She began to say, she then gestured to the tall skeleton, "This is Mad!" Then to the short skeleton, "Ink!" Then to the blue scarfed skeleton, "Blue!" To the glitchy skeleton, "Error!" To the other human, "Aliza!" and finally to the most Sans-like skeleton, "And Dust!"

Noelle tilts her head, all of the names apart from Aliza stood out for her, "Those are... Interesting names?" She said, trying to make it sound like a compliment, which she did mean well. Monika nods and looks back to Noelle, "But Ink is right, we come from another universe, technically multiverse or omniverse." She said. Noelle goes back to confusion, "...Multiverse... Omniverse..?" She asked. Dust slides over to her, grinning playfully, "Yeah, kinda one big thing! It's grreeeaaaattttt!" He chuckles a bit, Noelle glances to him, "!!.. Is it weird that I'm inclined to try to believe you? It's just.. Really strange but some of you look like someone I know." She said, thinking on what any of what Monika or Ink said could even mean. "Sans?" Error asked, "Yeah, we get that a lot. Kinda because we are Sans technically." He admitted. Noelle looks to Error, a bit surprised by his glitchy voice but confused as hell, "Huh????" She blinked a bit, trying to process how that'd be. Monika sighs, "Noelle, would you like something to drink or eat?" She asked, once again snapping Noelle out of her confusion. "Oh um.. I.. Guess? Hot chocolate wouldn't hurt right about now.. But where-" She began to ask, however was caught off guard by Monika simply lifting her hand, causing red glitches to engulf it for a moment, once the glitches stopped however... Voila! There sat a steaming mug of hot chocolate! It even came in a winter themed mug! Monika went wide eyed for a second, as holding the cup full on, while in the cold and so suddenly, almost made her drop it, she quickly grabs the mug with two hands, one gripping the handle tightly as she gave an embarrassed giggle, handing the mug over to Noelle. Noelle took the mug hesitantly, a mixture of emotions clouding her brain, "Wh... I... How.. How did you..?" She began to ask, completely shocked. Monika pats her shoulder gently, "Don't worry, just have a seat and I'll explain it all to you."

Meanwhile...

Sans was still being held up in the air by this odd shadow thing, pissed off. "Who the hell are you guys? How do you.." He asked, fully noticing that their faces were somewhat similar to his own with slight changes, which confused him.

The bigger one rolled his eyes, "Oh, spare me the questions. It doesn't fuckin' matter who we are." He said before pulling out a hand gun and aiming it at Sans, "An' it won't matter who you were either." He stated. The yellow skeleton quickly looked to the bigger one as Sans went slightly wide eyed, quickly summoning bone attacks behind the both of the mysterious skeletons, ready to quickly attack. The yellow one beats his train of thought though by quickly reaching to grab the bigger one's arm, though sort of failing due to the height difference, "Whoa, whoa! Maf! You don't need to kill him!" He said quickly, trying to calm the edgy wannabe giant. 'Maf' looked at the smaller one, glaring a bit, "...'lright." Maf lowers his gun, "You kill him." He added. The yellow one goes a bit wide eyed, "No, he doesn't need to die at all!" He argued, though passively. Great. They're the standard nice guy-bad guy duo. Perfect. "Oh, that's rich comin' from you, Sunshine." Maf argued back, 'Sunshine' stood between Sans and Maf before looking at the shadow thing, who was also watching this interaction with the same amount of enthusiasm as Sans- Nevermind, it quickly changed to acting like it was going to eat Sans's shadow. "Facilier, put him down!" Sunshine ordered. The shadow, or Facilier as it was referred to, quickly acts innocent while straight up having an 'UwU' expression, simply letting go of Sans's shadow. Sans goes wide eyed for a moment before falling to the ground, his back colliding with the hard surface below him, "Eughhh.." He groaned in slight pain and annoyance, already getting a headache from this nonsense. As he was processing his thoughts, slowly sitting up, Facilier got close to him, now against the ground, and smiled playfully before slithering to the yellow one, where it became his normal shadow. Sans rubbed his back a bit before looking to the two skeletons as they had continued talking on their own.

"Sunshine, I ain't in the mood for this!" Maf grumbled. Neither was Sans. "Just kill him already!" He added. Sunshine gave Maf a look, "He didn't do anything, we were going to leave anyway!" Sunshine retorted, stomping his foot. Maf gave Sunshine a look of 'I'm done with your shit', "Funny." He said simply before getting closer to Sunshine and gripping the back of his neck, leaning down slightly to reach his level, "After all the shit ya did before, ya just decide that this one ain't worth killin'? You certainly had no regrets before, Sunny, shouldn't now. You ain't no lousy, merciful, piece of shit. I hired you for a damn reason, you will continue that damn reason! This is an order from ya fuckin' boss, Sunshine. Kill him. Simple as that." He said darkly and apathetic seeming. Sunshine went silent, looking at the ground with a guilty expression, "..."

Maybe this wasn't the stereotypical nice guy and bad guy routine after all. Maf glared down at Sunshine for a moment, Facilier slithering up the wall behind Maf to stick out his tongue at him, waving his hands by his skull in a mocking manner. Maf quickly looked to where Facilier was, causing Facilier to quickly zoom back to being Sunshine's normal shadow. Maf grumbled and glared back at Sunshine, "You ain't no saint, Sunshine." He said, with a slightly more calmer tone, he then let go of Sunshine, taking a puff of his cigar as he turned and began walking away, "Ya got ten minutes, finish up ya pity party and kill 'em." He then left. Well, Sans just watched that melodramatic conversation. Sunshine looked to Sans as he stood up completely, "Uh.. Hey. So um.." He began to say awkwardly, Sans just gave him a look of untrusting suspicion and annoyance, "You going to kill me?" Sans asked bluntly. Sunshine just hesitated for a moment before falling silent, looking to the ground. Sans stood there for a moment, still not in the mood for this bullshit, but at least he wasn't dangling in the air still... Now he had to worry about three things today though. The Core. This Sunshine guy and his sudden appearance. Not to mention, that Maf guy in general. If he got anywhere Noelle. . . .

Cut to Noelle, looking utterly baffled, interested, surprised, and slightly afraid all at the same time, sitting on a decently sized rock and holding her half empty mug of cold chocolate while staring at Monika with this very expression. "And that's the basics with a little detail!" Monika said happily before noticing Noelle's expression and becoming slightly sheepish and guilty, "Aha.. I may have been a little too casual about it.." She added, looking away. "Only a little detail?!" Noelle asked suddenly, "How much detail can there even be?! If it's even true?! I mean.. Alternate universes.. AUs.. Whatever! Whole other places with versions of everything and everyone I know?! Timelines?? I..." She trailed off, not knowing what to make of it. They all just stared at her with different emotions and expressions. Monika looking slightly nervous and guilty, Blue with a tired expression, Mad with a deadpanned yet soft expression, Ink with a simple happy smile, Error with a blank expression, Aliza with an annoyed expression as she crosses her arms, and Dust with a slightly goofy smug expression. Dust then slides over to Noelle, leaning towards her, "Don't worry, it'll only take a moment until the crrraazzzyyy sets in!" He said in a teasing and joking manner, snickering. "Dust, please. She's overwhelmed, not the time." Blue snapped, glaring at Dust. Dust just shrugs and slides back to his previous spot. Noelle slightly shook in her spot, staring at the ground as she processed things, "..."

Mad sighs, "Like I said, a lot to take in Noelle, are you alright?" He asked softly, walking to Noelle and crouching down beside her, Ink still on his shoulder. "I-i don't know..?? Worlds where there's different us with different outcomes and... Does that mean.. There's a world where things didn't end up like this..? Where.. Everyone in my world is alive and happy..? Is my world just the unlucky pick...?" She asked, letting her thoughts spill out. Monika sighs sadly, "Yes and no.. Like I said, there are better but worse AUs. I wouldn't say yours is.. Practically the worst.." She said, trailing off, causing Noelle to snap her gaze to Monika, "What worlds have it worse than this..? I don't.." She sighs a bit, her head hurt. Mad gently pats her shoulder to comfort her, "Things happen everywhere, Noelle, it's not really a matter on what is worse, it's a matter of possibilities." He says gently. "Yeah!" Ink said as he used Mad's arm as a bridge to crawl onto Noelle's shoulder, opposite from where Mad placed his hand, he smiles at her, "Like, it could've been worse here! You could've been dead and left Sans all alone!" He says, trying to comfort her, though that only increased her racing thoughts and shaking. At least he's got the spirit. Mad, Blue, Monika, and Error all facepalm from Ink's comment, Monika sighing sadly as Dust snickers a bit more, "Ink.." Monika mumbled, exasperated.

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