#which i don't think was anyone's intention

[iamthetruenhaz]

Disclaimer, this will be a mess. It's 2am, I can't English (I can't Bulgarian either), which means this will be incoherent and the thoughts will be like those of a caveman. Might edit later.

I don't know who Bell Hooks is but I've been seeing a lot of outrage about this post as well as similar posts (I think I've had some too.

The left's problem (mostly from women) is that it's seen as a given that if men feel hated enough, they'll fall into the alt right. So they respond with "if you get radicalized just by some women not being nice to you, you were misogynistic to begin with and we were right to be mean to you".

Which is only partially true. We have a saying in my language - kick a dog enough times and it will start biting. People snap. People react to what they see as unjust, undeserved abuse. Especially when they haven't identified their inborn or ingrown biases that they might not be aware of. (And before you say it, that's really hard to do because "biased person" is automatically taken to mean "bad person" and no one wants to see themselves as a bad person, you only overcome that painful shame by realizing that having biases is something very much human and doesn't in and of itself make you worse than most people, especially if you learn to examine and confront those biases). So people, including men, have a limit to what they can take before they snap. And there's the alt right just waiting to offer you a sense of purpose as a big strong alpha chad male, and put the blame on those evil, evil bad women.

But here's the thing. Two things, actually:

First thing, empathy. You see women being angry at men, all men - let's not pretend that in a moment of anger anyone bothers to make distinctions and avoid sweeping generalizations. Let's just be honest about that. Maybe it's because I always had a number of female friends, including my best friend, and thus was able to get female perspectives on things like MeToo, but it's essential to listen with the intent to understand. I know a lot of women say their male friends just turn a blind eye and start to be willfully blind to their issues but I guess you have to have "women are just as much people as I am and not fundamentally different" as an imperative on a subconscious level and somehow that's not always a given.

Second, critical thinking. Just because someone offers you some "comfort" and "purpose" or what have you, doesn't mean you can't look at them critically and see what they are really about (forgive me, I can't English, it's past midnight). Even if - actually ESPECIALLY IF - they start offering you comfort out of nothing.

I can't say I haven't been tempted to drop down that pipeline, I've felt resentful, unfairly blamed, mistreated. But the language, the attitude, the mindset in those communities, that always just put me off. I guess it comes down to what you really want - for people who hurt you to be hurt as you have been, or for no one to get hurt at all anymore.

I couldn't have said it better myself.

[msafterhours]

A Single Trip Around the Sun

It's wild to think about, but today marks a year's time since I released "Drive" and dove back into writing. Funnily enough, it's also been just over 5 years since I stopped updating my first ever story, which began in March of 2019 and ended in late October of the same year.

I wrote & published over 75,000 words between October 2023 & March 2024 to varying degrees of quality and personal satisfaction. Two of those stories still remain public, while the third has been made private due to my own personal dissatisfaction with the finished product.

Over the past 7 months or so, things have been less than ideal, and while I wish that there could be more finished products to share with you all, I'd be lying if I said I've been in the right mindset to produce work that's up to my personal standards. However, that isn't to say that there hasn't been incredible work produced during that time. More on that in a second.

I personally don't view myself as a particularly creative person. Writing is very difficult for me to find success in (especially compared to other interests), but I enjoy the process of learning and growth. Thus, a significant amount of my time over the past half decade or so has been spent researching techniques, learning how to improve the quality of my work, and compiling those lessons into notes for my own future reference.

So, I'd like to take this opportunity to share that knowledge with anyone that might find it helpful. Contained within are archives of my external writing related research, saved passages from my favorite works produced by the community, and a bit of a peek behind the curtain into my older works & the planning that goes into a standard project of mine.

If nothing else, I hope you choose to look through the community quote archives and join me in celebrating the incredible content featured within. These are only small fragments of the wonderful work put together by @capslocked , @kooyabooya , @majorblinks , @iznsfw , @jeneveuxrein , @yieldtotemptation , and so many others who have blessed us with their awe-inspiring talent. There's plenty of other content that I haven't gotten around to including quite yet, but I have every intention of keeping this updated moving forward, so keep an eye out for even more magnificent inclusions in the near future.

I hope anyone who decides to check it out enjoys their time doing so and finds a bit of inspiration or helpful information within. Thank you so much to the over one thousand people who have chosen to follow this blog and thank you very much to everyone who's chosen to spend your time reading my work!

Sincerely,

Mirror's Secrets / Tyler ❤️

[lu-is-not-ok]

two in one theory... i am listening very intently if you ever feel up to share it!!

Alright, so this is gonna be... as close to an Abridged explanation of the theory as I can make, because if I went off on everything about it I would end up writing a whole dissertation or five hour video essay script on this shit.

There are gonna be three main sections to this post - Hong Lu's Daiyuisms, Hong Lu's Themes of Identity and how that connects to the concept of Two in One, and the Daiyu-Baoyu theory itself.

Strap in folks.

Hong Lu's Daiyuisms

If you know anything about my theories in the earlier days of Limbus, you might know that I'm one of the very few people who was convinced Hong Lu is actually Daiyu, due to some evidence I found personally compelling. This has not changed, as we've only gotten just as much extra evidence to this as we have to him being Baoyu. So let me just speedrun through some of these points.

The Fucking Jade Eye

Ok hear me out. This is maybe the least important piece of evidence but I can never stop thinking about it. Hong Lu's jade eye? Not actually fully blue! If you look closely on most of his sprites, you can see that he actually has sectoral heterochromia, meaning his jade eye is both blue and black.

Daiyu's name, quite literally, translates to blue-black jade.

Now, you could claim that this is merely meant to be an easter egg reference to her, but... is that really Project Moon's style? After all, when people speculated on Don Quixote being Sancho or a Bloodfiend partially based on her appearance all the way back since near launch, they turned out to be right.

Hong Lu's Father

As of now, there is only one instance of Hong Lu referencing his Father in Limbus, and it's a voiceline from his Base Identity:

Now, if you know anything about DOTRC, this should already be raising some flags, because if Hong Lu was just Baoyu, he would not fucking talk like that about his Father.

In the book, Baoyu is consistently shown to be afraid of his Father, for a good reason mind you, as he's his main abuser. Baoyu would not be looking forward to introducing his friends to that man.

Even if Hong Lu was trying to downplay the abuse he's recieved, this would still not fit his pattern of behavior. When topics that genuinely bother Hong Lu come up, such as what could make him distort or how rich people would enjoy gifts made of humans, he immediately pivots and tries to avoid the topic at all cost. He would not bring up his main abuser in such a lighthearted manner, he would avoid bringing him up at all cost.

However, there is a character in DOTRC which does in fact have a more positive relationship to her Father, and would likely be the one with an opinion such as that - Daiyu. Daiyu loves her Father, and when he dies she completely disappears from the story for a bit to attend his funeral. If there was anyone who would be excited to introduce their friends to their Father, it'd be Daiyu.

Lasso Hong Lu's Corrosion

I made a whole seperate post about this, but I might as well mention it here as well for the sake of completion. The design choices made for Hong Lu which are missing for Faust are very, very Daiyu-coded.

For one, not only does Hong Lu completely turn into a flower, unlike Faust, his horse also gains a flower in its mouth. For those whose knowledge of DOTRC is zero to none, Daiyu is a reincarnation of a Flower given sentience due to being watered by the Jade. I don't think I have to be the one to connect the dots between those two pieces of info for you.

The second is how the halters become a noose for Hong Lu. This, too, is a very Daiyu thing - Rose Hunter as an Abnormality represents the inability to escape one's fate, and Daiyu's fate is to die - the Jia Family arranging a marriage between Baoyu and Baochai leads to Daiyu falling deathly ill, which in itself could be considered a part of her repaying her Debt of Tears - the debt she swore to repay to the Jade/Baoyu when she was still a Flower.

The hilarity of the fact that this E.G.O came out in the same update as Hong Lu being called Baoyu in-story is not lost on me.

Rose Sign Abnormality Log

The third Log for Rose Sign ends in a very peculiar way.

There's multiple ways one can tie Hong Lu's odd reluctance to talk about flowers and the petals. One is the obvious "he's being reminded of Daiyu because she was a Flower" connection, but there's another one.

One of the most commonly potrayed images of Daiyu relates to a scene in DOTRC where she buries fallen flower petals, weeping for and lamenting the mortality of the flowers and herself. Hong Lu's reaction here to his fellow Sinners being reduced to nothing but petals upon Rose Sign's death feels like a notable parallel to Daiyu's flower burial scene.

Like literally everything about Kurokumo Hong Lu

The title for this is a bit of an exaggeration, but at the same time. I'm serious. Kurokumo Hong Lu is perhaps the most Daiyu Identity out of all the Hong Lu Identities we have, and the way he is designed to stand out among them further makes me go insane.

Kurokumo Hong Lu's most defining trait is his attitude - he often complains about his position and how authority treats him, though he doesn't really act out against them in any major way outside of making snarky or sarcastic remarks.

This is, frankly, an extremely Daiyu thing to do. Daiyu is one of the few characters who audibly complains about her treatment in the household. For example she complains about not being given as many opportunities to show off her poetry skills as her male peers are, and she recognises how, when all the girls in the family are given flowers, she's the last one to recieve them and thus is stripped of the ability to pick, being only given the leftovers.

Then there's the whole. Everything about Kurokumo Hong Lu's visual design. Because once you realize just how Daiyu-like the Identity is, you realize just how weird he is compared to other Hong Lu Identities. I mean just look how he compares to his other Identities.

He's the only Hong Lu Identity with a blue tint to his hair in the combat sprite rather than the usual purple.

He's the only Hong Lu Identity whose hairtie is a ribbon rather than a jade ring (Liu Hong Lu technically has the ribbon in his post-uptie art, but he doesn't have it in his combat sprite so I'm not counting him).

He's the only Hong Lu Identity to not be smiling in his combat sprites.

And he's the only Hong Lu Identity (and one of only four Identities in the game) whose Idle sprite has its body facing away from the opponent rather than facing towards them.

All of those combine to make him stand out like a sore thumb in a Hong Lu Identity lineup in a way that makes it feel intentional, especially since he's also the only Hong Lu Identity with that kind of notable attitude towards authority. Other Hong Lu Identities are either obedient, don't express any opinion, or just straight up are the authority.

The Baoyu reveal is framed in a very weird way

This is, admittedly, less of a Daiyuism and more of a not-Baoyuism, but I thought it'd be important to mention nonetheless.

There are a lot of things about Canto 7's reveal of Hong Lu's name being Baoyu that are very strange, especially compared to how the Canto frames Don Quixote's own reveal of actually being Sancho.

For one, the timing itself - why is such an important piece of info being revealed so early? Again, compare to Donqui - she was revealed to be a Bloodfiend in the Intervallo right before Canto 7, and the Sancho reveal only came in the second half of the Canto.

For two, the framing - Donqui's reveals are treated as what they are, Major Reveals. The Baoyu reveal on the other hand happens in a single off-handed line, with nobody reacting to it in any way. Neither Hong Lu nor the other Sinners seem to hear it after all.

And mind you, it's not like Limbus is opposed to giving us important information in off-handed lines - far from it in fact. Project Moon loves shoving little bits of foreshadowing and reveals you don't realize are reveals until way later in these kinds of off-handed lines. But the way those lines are treated is still very different to how the Baoyu reveal is treated.

Usually, when there's foreshadowing in off-handed lines, it's usually either vague enough to be something a character could say regardless of context (see Yi Sang getting hung up on the Sedatives bit in Canto 2 or Ishmael's comment about Syndicates pretending to be Families foreshadowing her own history with the Middle via Queequeg) or something that is in the middle of a scene that distracts from what is actually being said (like Hong Lu's distortion foreshadowing being in the middle of an important infodump or most of everything in Canto 2 being surrounded by a comedic tone).

None of this is present for the Baoyu reveal. There's nothing to distract you from this information, as the scene is already focused on discussing Hong Lu, meaning you're already likely to be paying attention to what is being said about him. There's also no vagueness about it, there's no way you can brush it off since not only are Wei and Xichun newly introduced characters, but it's a whole ass clearcut namedrop.

The only way I can justify that reveal being there in the form it takes is that it in itself is the distraction. Think about it. Didn't I point it out earlier that this reveal came in the same update as the E.G.O with an extremely Daiyu-coded corrosion design? Wouldn't it make sense for that reveal to be there to lower your guard, make you think you resolved that mystery, only to later on reveal it wasn't the whole story after all?

Hong Lu's Themes of Identity

So this section is a bit more vague than the Daiyuism section, because Hong Lu is the type of guy to just Say Shit all the time. It's basically just. Anything that I find relevant to the idea of Hong Lu's Identity being more complex than him just being a random guy using a pseudonym, with some (but maybe not all) of them directly tying to the idea of Two in One.

"Which one is the real you?"

There are currently two seperate scenes where Hong Lu muses on the idea of someone's identity being in some way vague or obscured.

Is Dante the person or the clock? Is the dreamer the one in the dream or the one who wakes from it? Which you is the real you? Does it even matter if that you will flutter away in the end?

This idea of there being one true self. That even if there are two, there is only one of them that is actually you. Curious, right?

Face-changing dance

During the Canto 2 scene where everyone gives their reasons for whether or not they'd be a good pick for being the one to dance, Hong Lu says this.

Bian lian is a kind of dance literally translated as "face-changing". It involves rapid changes between various masks and make-up to represent different emotions or characters.

Now, it's no secret that Hong Lu is a great actor, as we see in Canto 4, and Canto 7 shows how the comparison to theatre and actors can be used to symbolize one's performance of identity, as it does for Sancho and her Don Quixote persona.

Mind you, this reveal comes in the same scene as Sinclair's dance invoking the image of a bonfire burning all through the night according to the Mariachis, a clear foreshadowing to Canto 3 and the Literal burning down of Sinclair's home.

Hong Lu knowing bian lian could be further foreshadowing to his own skills in deception, and how he too is a sort of actor, not unlike Don Quixote. On the other hand however, it could also be a more literal foreshadowing, that he (Baoyu) Quite Literally changed his face. We won't know until Canto 8, but it is an option you know.

The HamHamPangPang dish(es)

For those who don't know, here is a list of the Sinner-themed dishes that were available at HamHamPangPang.

Now, chances are, not all of them have deep meanings. I don't think there's much of a deep meaning to Heathcliff and Ishmael's dishes, I think PJM just legit don't know much about British/American cuisine so they just picked something recogniseable.

However, not all of them are meaningless picks either. Ryoshu, likely a mother, has a meal literally called "parent-and-child donburi". Don Quixote, a Bloodfiend, has a garlic-based dish. These were clearly done on purpose.

So, what does it say that Hong Lu's dish is actually two different dishes? That he's the only one whose dish is two different dishes? And it's not like the two are in some way inherently connected, since they're of completely different cuisines. Japchae is a Korean dish, not Chinese like the Mandarin rolls.

And just in case you weren't convinced that Hong Lu's choice of dishes is purposeful - another name for Mandarin rolls is flower buns, and one of the special occasions japchae is commonly served for is weddings. If you had read through the Daiyuisms section and somehow have no idea what the significance of that is, I don't know what to tell you.

The Daiyu-Baoyu Theory (finally)

So. I gave some evidence for why I think Hong Lu could still be Daiyu despite being revealed as Baoyu. I gave some evidence for why I think Hong Lu could be a Two in One deal, or that at the very least there's something more complex going on with his identity. But let's discuss the theory itself, how it would recontextualize certain things, and why I think it's an extremely fitting an thematically resonant direction for Hong Lu's Canto to go in.

The Theory

Here's what I speculate is going on.

Daiyu, just like in DOTRC, is someone who was taken in into the Jia Household rather than born in it, and who strongly connected with Baoyu upon meeting him. The two would end up forming a bond strong enough that they would be willing to die for one another (or, if they're in particularly argumentative moods, to kill themselves just to force the other to have to live a long life grieving over them - this is an actual argument they have in DOTRC and I pray to god this is adapted into Limbus because it's too fucking funny).

At some point, Baoyu either dies or is brought to near death, likely through the same circumstances as in DOTRC - being beaten by his Father. To save him, his memories and consciousness would be transferred to his eye, a process not dissimilar to the one Xichun brings up in Canto 7, and implanted into Daiyu's body, causing them to become a vessel for Baoyu. This would be how Hong Lu as he is now is created.

All of the above is the main basis for this theory. Everything else that I might speculate about, such as the exact nature of the two's relationship, Daiyu's more exact background and personality, how their pre-reincarnation lives could be adapted - all of those are things that are purely speculative and ones that I don't really expect to be actually fulfilled. The only bits that I am sure are likely to be true is what I laid out above.

So... what does it all mean for the future? I'm glad you asked!

The Recontextualization

Here's a collection of just a couple of things that Hong Lu has said or is depicted as that would be heavily recontextualized if this theory ends up being true.

Hong Lu surviving despite claiming he didn't fight back when his siblings first tried to kill him: With the context that he used to be two seperate people, the answer to how he survived is made very simple. Baoyu is the one who wasn't fighting back. Daiyu, however, could have still protected him in turn.

The red ribbon on Hong Lu's weapon: There is only one other Sinner who has a similar decoration on their weapon - Ryoshu, who also has a red ribbon on her sword, which could be easily connected to Yuzuki and her death. With the context of Hong Lu being Baoyu occupying Daiyu's body and thus effectively rendering their self non-existent, the red ribbon could be a parallel symbol - a symbol of Daiyu and their 'death'.

How Hong Lu treats his weapon in his base E.G.O: The way Hong Lu holds his weapon in the illustration is more like he's cradling another person. This could be a representation of how he feels about Daiyu's situation. Likewise, in the attack animation, he's not really attacking with the weapon itself, is he? He's simply using it to direct a ribbon (which in itself is missing in the illustration), the part that is actually the attack. If the weapon in the base E.G.O represents Daiyu, this could be a parallel to how Baoyu feels like he's merely directing Daiyu's body to attack, rather than being the one actually attacking.

The duality of Hong Lu IDs: There is a notable pattern among Hong Lu IDs, and that is the focus on his attitude to violence. When he's in a situation where he's obedient towards his Family, he's either uninterested in violence, bored of it, or otherwise given no other choice but to use it as a reprieve from boredom. However, when he's in a situation where he's disconnected from his Family or otherwise questioning the status quo, he's shown to not only be much more aggressive and violent, but to outright enjoy it. With the context of Hong Lu being composed of two people, this duality could represent each of his components - the obedient and violence-averse being more Baoyu-like, while the questioning and violence-favoring being more Daiyu-like.

So, there's a bunch of stuff that would be given new meaning under the premise of this theory being true. But now, what about the future? What would this theory mean for the themes and ending of Canto 8?

The Resolution

I believe this is how the Daiyu-Baoyu theory will affect Canto 8.

At some point, whether before or during the Canto, it will be revealed that Hong Lu is both Daiyu and Baoyu. There will be an attempt to seperate the two, perhaps to implant Baoyu into a more fitting, more Jia Family-approved Vessel. Perhaps because the 'arranged marriage' from DOTRC could be adapted into something more... let's say Fear and Hunger kind of marriage rather than traditional marriage.

This will leave Hong Lu to be returned to their state as Daiyu, who will be revealed to be a very different person to what the Sinners knew Hong Lu as. There is a non-zero chance that Daiyu will be unable to hear Dante or be revived by them due to the one who signed the contract being Baoyu, and so they could end up acting as an uncontrollable ally unit not unlike Xichun in Canto 7.

The climax would then be Daiyu and Baoyu reuniting and being unwilling to part with each other again, even for the sake of returning to being the fake persona that is Hong Lu, leading to a potential duo boss fight/distortion boss fight/duo distortion boss fight.

The ending would be the two of them deciding to embrace their new identity as Hong Lu and truly becoming one, discarding their pasts and the selves that had been forced on them by the Jia Family. This ending would have a twofold meaning regarding how it connects to the DOTRC adaptation.

One - it would be a direct parallel to the ending of DOTRC where Baoyu leaves to become a monk. By becoming Hong Lu and discaring his previous identities, he'd be leaving behind the earthly attachments inherent to being Baoyu and Daiyu and become spiritually whole.

Two - it would be a reflection of the major theme of DOTRC, that being "Truth becomes fiction when the fiction's true. Real becomes not-real when the unreal's real." Hong Lu, as a person, is a 'fake' persona used by the 'real' Baoyu and Daiyu. However, by discarding those two identities and deciding to just be Hong Lu, the fiction of his existence becomes the truth, while his former real selves become not real.

Conclusion?

I could honestly just keep going with this post, but I think I'm going to stop myself here before I'm forced to find out what tumblr's character limit on posts is. Believe me, I was trying to be brief, and still this post is. This fucking long.

I hope this explains why this theory has been the subject of my brainrot for the past however long, and why I feel like it's surprisingly plausible despite being as deranged as it is.

Godspeed and godbless, I have classes tomorrow and I'm spending my time on this.

[deas-junk-bin]

Something interesting I've noticed.

All the characters in the Veilguard assume that Spite is a senselessly destructive problem gremlin, and that Lucanis is reining him in and preventing him from causing harm. Lucanis himself is very insistent that this is the case, and many fans are already accepting this idea as fact. But if you pay attention to Spite's behavior, the reverse is actually true!

Since Dragon Age's handling of mages, demons, and spirits has always invited players to use critical thinking and notice where the characters' cultural biases and prejudices don't line up with what's actually happening, I do think it's weird how few people are talking about this. I suppose it might be possible to miss, if you haven't seen the end of Lucanis' storyline yet and aren't paying close attention to Spite. But even before the scene where Spite's intentions are revealed, there are plenty of clues that he isn't as much of a danger as Lucanis fears.

Once you do reach that scene, it's pretty clearly revealed that Spite has been trying to keep Lucanis' self-destructive behavior in check all along. His efforts were dismissed as troublemaking by the team, but he's actually trying to look after Lucanis, in his weird demon-y way. However, even before his true goal is revealed, Spite's behavior is always consistent with that goal, not with the generic malevolence that Lucanis and some of the other companions ascribe to him. He typically isn't hostile towards anyone Lucanis isn't, with only one major exception. Spite is a bit more emotionally reactive and vindictive than Lucanis, for sure. Lucanis comparing him to a child throwing a tantrum certainly seems to ring true. But he doesn't do pointlessly evil things for no reason.

(That one exception was obviously unusual, too. That dude did something very blatantly rude, which provoked Spite. It was genuine douchebag behavior, and he had bad vibes and needed to get his ass kicked anyway. Spite's violent response was likely an overreaction, based on the information he had at the time, but he was still reacting to someone else's actions, not just randomly turning hostile.)

Of course, you could argue that Spite is acting out of self-interest, since everything that happens to Lucanis also happens to him. However, practically speaking, I don't think that matters very much. Their priorities align a lot, way more than Lucanis realizes they do. Lucanis and Spite share a common interest in survival, something Lucanis himself will point out shortly after you recruit him, and they grow to become a true team with shared goals by the end of their storyline. Under such circumstances, it seems a little pointless to try to distinguish whether Spite is being selfish or genuinely cares for Lucanis. Both amount to the same thing in the end.

In all three previous Dragon Age games, we hear Thedosians assume demons always want indiscriminate violence and can't be reasoned with or appeased, and in all three previous Dragon Age games, we repeatedly see this assumption proven wrong. It's at best a flawed guideline based on edge cases, or at worst, a hateful stereotype. Lucanis claims Spite can't be negotiated with, that "talk doesn't work on Spite" because of his fundamental nature. But by the end of the storyline, talking to Spite and reaching a verbal agreement is actually the only thing that successfully resolves Lucanis' conflict with him!

I don't think it's a stretch to suggest that Lucanis is simply wrong about how demons work. He's ashamed, scared, and traumatized by his experience in the Ossuary, which makes him prone to to intrusive ruminations about potential worst-case scenarios. And since he's not a mage, he is, through no fault of his own, practically guaranteed to be ignorant on this topic. Even many mages don't understand demons very well. It takes a specialist in spirit magic to explain certain things, as we saw in Inquisition with Cole and Solas. Lucanis is perfectly poised to have basically zero factual information about demons, but a ton of cultural and personal reasons to vilify his new possessed self. Considering this context, it really seems odd that fans are interpreting Lucanis' statements about Spite as unbiased narrative fact.

Then again, this is the same fandom where a lot of people apparently still think Fenris' mansion formerly belonged to Danarius. Fenris mistakenly thought it did in Act I, but he later explicitly corrects his mistake aloud! (As Fenris explains, Danarius was only staying there as a guest. The house actually belonged to a merchant who was an acquaintance of his.) So maybe I'm just overly optimistic about how much detail is going to stick for people. These games have a lot going on in them, after all, so I guess it's inevitable for people to miss some things.

[housederiva]

Idk maybe it sounds weird but I wanted to say thank you for openly saying you didn't like some parts of the game. I've seen so many comments like "oh just admit that you actually hate dragon age" when someone is trying to question certain decisions the devs made. I love dragon age, i love each of the 3 games and I love how complex, nuanced and colorful this story has been. I don't hate the new game, I actually love some parts of it - it's just different. It feels different, the writing is different and sometimes questionable, a lot of the things I expected to see were not there, the lore feels a bit altered. It's good that we can all discuss these things I guess

I think most of the people saying those things have me blocked because I haven’t seen any of that (which you know is fair you should curate your own space and all that)

There isn’t a series that means more to me the Dragon Age, it has had a very special place in my heart for 15 years, which is why I held Veilguard in such a high regard before release. It sounds silly to say but these games have gotten me through quite a few hard things in my life and Veilguard is going to get me through another

Veilguard is a fine game for what it is. I love the companions and the combat is fun and it’s beautiful. I yelled in excitement and I cried with grief and sadness several times… but it could’ve been so much more. There were so many things tossed to the side that could’ve been made into something wonderful. There’s nothing wrong with acknowledging that

It’s not healthy to place something on so high of a pedestal you cannot see its flaws anymore, regardless of how important it is to you

I know I have a few devs following me and it’s not my intention to insult or belittle anyone’s work. You did a great job with what you were given and I’m grateful for that. Veilguard is a different game with a different kind of heart to it, but that isn’t entirely a bad thing. Regardless, we can still be sad about what it could’ve been and what it isn’t

[threepandas]

After The War: Foxx Hunting (Prev <-)

"Commander."

On anyone else, the tone would suggest simple statement. But there was a lilt. A slight inflection, I had long learned to spot, at the end of the word. That made it a greeting. A call. Monotone filled with subtle, near untraceable mocking.

"Tired of running yet, Commander? Or do you want to struggle more? You can, if you want. I can let you. We have time. After all, it really won't change much. There's no where you can go."

Head tilted ever so slightly, at an almost an invisible angle. Posture, military perfect, impossibly so. That perfection bought with pain, torture, born out of brutal necessity. His lips quirked, in an amused curl. At just that same, impossibly slight amount. Too small and indistinct for his tormentors to notice. To take from him.

Just enough to stay human, I had thought. Too stay sane, I had hoped.

I was wrong.

My biggest mistake hunted me. Had all the power in the GALAXY now, to hunt me. All the time he could ever dream, in which to do so. And it was all my fault. Me. It had to be. I... I was the only thing that changed. Tried to make things... things BETTER!

How arrogant. Hubristic. Who the fuck was I? To think I had the RIGHT, to shape and change the fate of an entire GALAXY to my whims? I didn't even know the story. Had been GUESSING, based off STAR WARS. So... so fucking confident. A-and what did that get me? Oh god. O-Oh god!

The blaster burns on my arms and legs screamed, as I forced myself up, one more time. Always, please god, always! J-just one more time! Don't give out on me yet. Not.. not until we are safe. Then. Then! We can cry. Howl and weep, break down and scream.

(My fault. My Fault. MY FAUL-)

None of the characters were an exact match. People were and weren't where they should be. Plots happened out of sequence or not at all. So why? WHY? Did I believe so hard in the Clones? IS it because I loved, still LOVE, the Vode? Did that trust transfer? That emotional connection? Was I tricked? Or was I just a fool? Does it MATTER in the end? If the result is the same?

I brought a monster, straight to Power.

Now they're dead. All my brothers, my sisters, my mentors and friends. Dead, dead, DEAD! Glowing weapons on the ground and a temple filled with DEATH. D-Did the nurseries get out? Please, oh god, let the children have survived my mistake.

Blood stains my robes. Only a tiny fraction of it, is mine.

Sticky and slick, oily and so many colors. The blood does not mix. Too many species, too much ash from the air. If I do not clean or remove it soon? I am likely to get chemical burns, from the reactions developing on the cloth. But again and again. My mistake finds me. A pursuit predator. Intent on wearing me down.

"How long will you try, Commander? You know just as well as I do, that I can afford to wait you out. You'll drop eventually." His tone was so mild, even as his words were horrifying. Overhead, a transport kept steady pace, as I desperately ran from commandos on the streets. "How many days has it been without proper rest? Rations? To stop and think? We've survived far worse then this, Commander. For far longer. We can endure, can you?"

I pull my magic around me, through my screaming legs, to fling myself across a jump they shouldn't be able to make.

Despair surges, as behind me... I hear jetpacks. Ah. They've gotten better gear, at long last. E-Everything I've ever wished for them. Gear and food and safety, at long last! A-At long last. I have to laugh, hysterical and afraid. I just... I just never thought my wish? Would be fulfilled for the purpose of hunting me down.

(I'm so tired. Please, god. No more. Let it stop. Let this nightmare END!)

Jumping, I land in a roll on a level several floors down. The impact is ugly. Agony on my burns and bruises. I may have not taken any direct hits? But those glancing strikes? Still leave marks. Trails of seared, blistering, blaster burns. Like tiger strips. As though you hade been struck, by whip made of fire. Not to mention the concussion grenades.

Yeah, half way through the attack, the Clones had stumbled. Either broken free of the Not Sith's control or come to their senses, deciding to switch to non-lethal weapons. Probably trying to go for the capture instead of the kill. But given the sheer variety of the Knights? One Being's sedative was another's lethal toxin. And the gas attacks...

I... I'm still not even sure if... if Master Rim'Llahiy survived long enough, to get to the healers. The seizures were BAD. He... he didn't deserve that. All he'd ever done, was keep the gardens. Live a quite life. T...Try to defend his home.

Around me, as I run, screens light up. Somehow, I'm the focal point. I... I don't know how he's doing this. It has to be Sketch or Gear, one of the Slicers. Who else could hack into so many systems so easily? The... the knowledge that they're helping him? That everyone of the Guard is HELPING him hunt me? I feel sick.

Was any of it real? Was I friends with ANY of them? Or... Or was I just them happy little slave master, patting myself on the back, because I didn't beat them, unlike the others? Aren't I gracious. Don't you just love me? Say thank you for my grace. Let me feel good about my self! My pretty little charity of the day! Before I skip back off to fairy land! Leaving you all in hell.

Do I deserve this? I... I have to deserve this... right?

Even though I tried. Even though I fought and fought and FOUGHT. Even when that Not A Sith BASTARD tried to kill me at every turn, just to shut me the fuck up, and I WOULDN'T. Because they deserved to be free. Because it was WRONG. Because we took VOWS, remember? Days and days, convincing and campaigning.

I have to... to somehow, deserve this. Because? B-because if I DON'T?

Then What Have I DONE?

City levels and blocks blur together. I couldn't tell you where on this god forsaken ecumenopolis I am anymore. But the others! The others have gotten off planet by now. Surely... surely! They have escaped! Right? They HAVE too. I-It HAS to have been worth it. Becoming bait. M-making myself a target. This... this one last time?

It.. it was WORTH it. Right? Right?!

Please! Please god! Let it have been WORTH IT!!

I skid around a corner. Too tight, not judging it right in my panic, my shoulder clipping the wall hard. Scraping flesh through my robes. Just more bruises and hurt to add to the pile. I don't slow. Can't slow. Feel it but push the pain away. The crash later will be ugly, when I release the magics flowing through me. When the adrenaline fades. But... but either I will live to endure it? Or it will not matter at all.

Too late, though, I see the trap.

I have been corralled. Like a a sheep from my first life, harried by dogs into a pen. Tricked into a corner. No where left to go. The platform I thought was a street? Was an alley between two buildings, leading to a third. A perfect little killbox with only one way out. I stumble, horrified, as I register the truth too late. Spin, already knowing it's too late to double back. But hoping... HOPING....!

Jetpacks. The commando squadron of the guards, touching down at the entrance, a solid line of armor and skill. Better weapons, jet packs, upgraded armor. They... they even seem rested. For the first time in years.

A stark reversal. Now it is I, who is barely holding on. Now I am the one, who has been ground to dust, by the exhaustion of fighting without end. Of running and running. No real food and no real rest. No medicine. No help coming. I want to laugh, scream, weep. So it's to be poetic justice, is it?

But I can not give in.

Forgive me. But I can not, WILL NOT give in. Body exhausted, I draw my blade. The plasma humming as the magics charge. The alleyway fills with light. I took Vows. Owe my soul to the Galaxy and it's people. Regardless of Regime, I have service I must complete. And to do that? I have to be alive.

(I don't care, that they took over. Let them have it. But how could you? How COULD YOU?! The Temple was my home. I am a hypocrite. Here, at the end, I must face that. And now I know it to be true.)

The ship over head dips lower, kicking up a hurricane of wind. My robes whip around me, but I do not move from my opening stance. Ready, not ready, but resigned to it none the less. The Commandos are a silent wall as, from above, a rip cord descends. Clipped to it? Marshall Commander... no, Supreme Commander Foxx.

The Clones newly elected Emperor.

A man I THOUGHT was my friend.

He looked nothing like Commander Fox of the Vode. Hair too long and curling. Face deceptively young looking and boyish. Non regulation piercing hidden under the helmet all Guards wore, day in and day out. They hadn't been able to customize their armor like the others. So they customized themselves.

He wasn't in armor, now. It was somehow worse. The dress uniform an affront, a reminder, like a curse of broken glass. I... I hadn't even known he owned such a thing. It made sense, given his old position. Yet, somehow... somehow? I doubted this was the uniform he had been given. It looked... looked Regal.

"Are we done, now? Got it out of your system? Or should one of us put you on the ground first? Grind your face right against the filthy floor?"

His voice was mild as ever, as he calmly unclipped himself, let the cord retract. He tucked his hands behind his back. Strolled forward with measured steps, assessing eyes, like a general examining untested troops. Picking me apart for weakness, looking for openings in my stance. Injuries on my body. I had seen him do this before. Just... just never thought... it'd be used... a-against me. (How arrogant, I had been.)

"This can stop at any time, Commander. All you have to do? Is stop running. You don't have to worry anymore. I'm not going to hurt you. We're not going to hurt you. You've struggled long enough, don't you think? It's time to be done. To come home. Be taken care off. That's all we want to do, Darling. Commander."

"Surely you can see, that it's BETTER this way? No more war. No more Knights on sabotaged missions. Diplomats to war zones. Children where they shouldn't BE. The Order can be SAFE now. YOU can be safe now. Loved and precious as you always should have been. It's okay now, Commander. Come here. It's okay..."

Foxx's eyes blazed with conviction. They had been brown, like his brothers. They... oh god, they SHOULD have been brown. But as I stared into his face, at those unfamiliar eyes on what should be so familiar a form? Red stared back. The red, Red, RED, of the Fallen.

Foxx had been... had been Energy Sensitive. The Cloners had fucking LIED, when they said it wasn't possible. I had always suspected. Didn't dare bring attention to it. Didn't want my friend to be... to be KILLED. Experimented on. I should have trained him. Done more.

Desperate people will reach for anything, to stop themselves from drowning. And the Dark offers such tempting things. Vengeance and Power. Freedom, no matter the cost. It pays sweetly then corrupts slow. There is always a cost.

I can not risk it.

Shifting my weight to my front leg, in preparation to surge forward, I never get the chance. A two fold thwip! And sharp pinch in my upper arm. I got the first. But the second... a? Dart? No. NO! Panicked, I flood my body with the magics meant to purge drugs and... instantly the world spins. I have somehow just made it worse. W-what?

"Confiscated from slavers, 'bout five months back. It's a high end drug." The Commando with the dart gun said, as though commentingon the weather. "Fairly new, too. Made to react specifically to the Cosmic Energies. Our esteemed Chancellor, may he rot as he deserves, had them developed through several shell companies."

"Really wish you hadn't done that, Commander. Cause, see, the side effects? Are pretty nasty." Foxx commented. Various helmets nodded, the guards body language sympathetic but lacking any remorse. What ever it took to bring me in. To make me Safe.

"Now you're going to be sick for a while. But on the other hand? You are a stubborn one. So maybe this'll give you time to think, hmm? Time to enjoy the pampering a bit. You'll get used to it, learn to be good for me. I know you. You're a smart girl."

My legs couldn't hold me anymore. Despite struggling, I couldn't keep my blade at the ready. Helplessly, I watched as he watched forward. Used a single finger, on the hilt, to push my blade to the side. The lightest of tugs, stealing it from me entirely. At long last, the tears came. I... I was scared. Really, really scared. P-please... Foxx, please...

"Hunts over, Commander. It's time to stop running. You've lost."

"But, that? That's okay. You can lose now. Be weak. Wretched and pathetic and flawed. You don't have to be perfect any more, Commander. I've got you. You're Mine. Ours. Perfect, just the way you are. And today?"

"Today is the start of the rest of your new life, Commander."

"Welcome to the Empire."

[spxdyr]

actually, lets talk about it. because buddie LOVES their classic motifs.

as, i hope, we all know at this point from our various english classes. putting glass, a window, etc. between the camera and the character hints that the character is hiding something. or occasionally that there is something about themselves they are hiding from themselves.

i think eddie and the confession scene is a horse that was beaten dead before the episode came out. but i just want to reiterate that eddie wasn't being honest with that priest the whole time. he kept talking in circles. lying to himself, lying about himself. and every time he did the window was between him and the camera.

but is the buck of it all that really gets me. because what exactly was he hiding? obviously we don't see him tell eddie about the breakup but i assume its implied. but everything in tv is intentional and the first time we buck and eddie together outside of a call it's through a window. which i can only assume means they're hiding something from each other.

the what, is what i can't figure out. i have my guesses, ofc and i have my spec based off of some of the stuff oliver said in a recent interview, but im curious to see if we expand upon that imagery in before the midseason finale.

if anyone wants to hear that spec, just lmk

anyway!

[mvmnbnv]

Am i blind for not seeing how Caitlyn manipulated Vi? I keep seeing this take and I don’t understand it. She hurt Vi in an inexcusable manner, both physically and emotionally by making classist implications in her anger…

But manipulation? If Caitlyn wanted to manipulate/ guilt-trip Vi into joining the enforcers or killing Jinx all she had to do was say “I had the shot” to Vi instead of her father. But she didn’t bring up the dinner at all or oil & water for that matter. In fact not only did she not blame Vi (initially) or guilt-trip her; Caitlyn blamed herself: “My arrogance led me to take on more than i could handle and she paid the price”. That’s something someone like Vi who always blames herself and takes responsibility for everything really needed to hear so i was happy with it.

I think Caitlyn’s intentions were genuinely good throughout the first episode, both regarding Vi & the undercity but she still had the same flaws from season 1: thinking the enforcers are the ‘good guys’ here and there are just a few bad apples among them (i bet she probs thinks the ones who killed Vi’s parents were just bad apples lol) ; approaching some matters in an insensitive, entitled manner (springing the badge on Vi instead of having a conversation with her first about the reasons why she thinks it’s the best recourse… well at least she apologized for that ig)

I already feel like they pushed Caitvi in a terrible direction that’s hard to come back from in a satisfying way… i think if people willfully misinterpret ALL of Cait’s actions in the worst possible light you guys really won’t be happy w the ending bc there’s a point a relationship really can’t come back from in a healthy way. I doubt even now if it can…

I haven't used the word manipulative just yet because it's a pretty touchy thing with a specific meaning, but apparently you can be manipulative without knowing. She plays on vis emotions a lot, telling her wearing a badge is how she can show that she doesn't support jinx, which just isn't true. She doesn't need to wear one to show that. I'm not gonna blatantly say it's outright manipulative but it leaves a bad taste in my mouth nonetheless. And just blatantly enlisting vi after she explicitly said no and explained her trauma around enforcers is just...bleh. maybe distasteful more than manipulative but regardless it's just icky.

And yeah a lot of people think they're doing right but are actually just awful..."interpreting her actions in the worst possible light". How else am I supposed to interpret what she's done? She undid a ventilation system that gave the undercity clean air, she enlists vi after she said no, saying its easy to hate zaunites, is ready to get jinx even at the cost of a childs life, ffs she hits vi and leaves her there, it's bad, some of it downright corrupt. Apologizing to vi for springing the badge on her doesn't negate her bigoted attitude toward her and the entire undercity, it's not vis job to prove anything to her, especially if it ultimately means letting anyone get hurt at the cost of getting jinx. She sees vi as her possible example of what people of the undercity could be, and even that's fucked up, because once vi doesn't do things the way she wants she thinks she's "no different" than jinx or any other zaunite. I don't think they could have a healthy relationship with all this. I don't even want vi around her after all that tbh. I know it's gonna happen tho so I'll just see what they decide to do

[chiropteracupola]

granby + iskierka + keynes

[notmoreflippingelves]

[itsnothingofinterest]

Well I'm sorry you feel that way but this is the impression the story of MHA gave me in it's final arc. Not through ignoring themes or events, but through scrutinizing them thoroughly.

To start off with All Might's independence, you say he normally worked solo and the big operation for the last day of his work isn't indicative of the other 40 years; but the thing is, working solo is actually normal for most heroes (unless they're on a team of heroes like the WWPC). See Kamui Woods & Mt. Lady competing over handling the purse snatcher from chapter 1 as an example of normal hero operation. They only really work together with non-sidekicks for big operations, and even non-League-based operations like the Overhaul raid can pull top heroes like Ryukyu & Fatgum. And when the Kamino raid is the only real big operation we see during All Might's tenure at all (unless you count the USJ rescue, which also played out just like Deku's experience in the final arc), I don't see a reason to assume it was atypical of All Might.

The reason society felt to nearly fall apart with All Might's retirement wasn't because he worked solo all the time; it was because he was so many miles better than the next best guy that he became the basis for the heroes reputation; so his departure sowed doubt in their credibility.

~

As for Deku getting non-hero help; the help from civilians amounted to first aid kits & shirts and stuff. Things civilians were largely already willing to part with to help heroes even before society collapsed; see the old lady insisting Bakugou take some food right before Shigaraki woke up in Jaku. This is really not the radical change it's presented as. Past that, they just stayed on the sidelines waiting for the fight to be over and then helped clean up, same as ever with the last Symbol.

And as for the villains who helped him; well one was already a former hero, 2 others were a minor offenders asked to help catch much worse criminals, which is pretty standard law enforcement behaviour, and Stain. That's just 4 villains helping; 4 total people helping the heroes in ways not expected of them. And there's no big sign that greater society noticed their contribution anyway; Stain in particular felt forgotten after he died.

(Also, it was a whole plot point no help arrived from elsewhere in the world at all for the final battle. Least of all in a way that affect's public perception.)

So my problem persists that I don't understand why this battle against/beatdown of the big bad villain is supposed to be so different & special from the perspective of the masses.

~

Next, as for Deku trying to find a non-lethal resolution, well I guess it might depend on your definition of "lethal" but:

The evidence does suggest Deku wanted to "break them both"; that he was intending for Tomura to wind up in the same state AFO was in at the time, and he certainly wasn't looking to save that guy.

And as for the being obvious to everyone who witnessed it...how do you figure that? Deku barely had any dialogue spoken aloud to Shigaraki to begin with in the final fight, and most of that was for the portion when he was on his own and no one else could hear him. It's not like his actions could speak for him either, he was just throwing punches the whole time. Counting only after everyone arrived, he basically just recounted what happened to Aizawa, got his arms healed, and started charging AFO to deliver a one-hit-kill-punch while everyone told him to do his best because he's the only one who can deliver a meaningful hit. It's been a while since I reread the whole arc, but I don't remember Deku ever telling anyone he intended to save Tomura anyway besides the vestiges & All Might, and he only talked about it for us to see with the latter after Tomura died.

What part of that series of events makes you think anyone but Deku & AM was in on any intention of saving Shigaraki? When did anyone else treat Shigaraki as anything but a villain that needed beating? Why would that be a wake up call to society instead of just the 4th and final defeat of AFO?

~

And lastly; as for the lethal option being unavoidable. Well maybe it was for Deku, but we know it wasn't impossible to save Tomura at all (similar to how Touya could have been saved, but Enji never could have saved him); because Spinner managed it. And enough of Tomura's spirit was still around that we can safely say a repeat should have been possible. So that Deku failed to save someone we know was save-able; hell, that he failed to save someone he vowed to save at all (and do not try to tell me he saved his heart based on a 2-panel speech on hand-holding), undercuts the storytelling now matter how you slice it.

Deku failed to save Tomura and complete the objective he set for the final 3rd of the series, failed to do anything truly different from All Might before him...and everything just turns out way better anyway. There's no way around this feeling is contrived and unearned.

I think the thing that ultimately gets me about how Deku has supposedly inspired away everything that'd lead to more Tenkos turning into Tomuras is...just "why?" Like, why did this:

Happen differently this time? I mean that's a fair question to ask, isn't it? The Walk was effectively the true inciting incident for Tomura, leader of the League, to hate hero society; you'd want a really solid answer as to why that won't happen again I would think.

The narration from Hawks and accompanying imagery implies it's because Deku inspired folks to not sit on the sidelines anymore, further implied to be a Hero Society-wide effect Deku has had that'll supposedly eliminate the bystander effect that led us here and give heroes more free time.

But like...Why is that different from what we've seen of heroes before now? All Might was around for 40 years and Deku, in the end, didn't really do anything AM didn't do; he punched out the big bad for the world to see. And All Might did also inspire people like the origin trio to action...by becoming heroes. Yet civilians like the old lady were inspired to go about her day because a hero would handle it, while Deku inspired her to reach out a hand herself. Why?

I've heard some suggest it's because Deku was less independent, had more of a teamwork focus in his big moment. But I’ve said this before, I think those people assume All Might was a lot more independent than he really was, and Deku a lot less. I mean a lot of Deku's fight was broadcast, including big portions where he was fighting the big bad solo just like All Might in Kamino. And then both fights ended with more heroes coming in to lend support.

So I'm just not seeing why public effect is so radically different.

And it's just that, I have been waiting to see what would prevent more Tomuras from crawling out of the woodworks to destroy even more since MVA; what measures would be taken to prevent that? Perhaps Tomura would destroy hero society, not just its buildings but its corrupt ideals, leadership, & figureheads; and maybe when he was beaten there would be room to rebuild it better from scratch? No, he didn't really destroy much at all actually, and things are being rebuilt just as they were. Would Deku and Tomura perhaps team up going forward after he's saved; with the latter's eyes for what's wrong in the world and the former's ability to fix it without violence? No, Deku kills Tomura because he was just too unforgivable, it's implied he was just after a tasteful way to do that the whole fight. Well, would Deku at least listen to what drove Tomura to villainy and do something about any of that? Nope, if it wasn't his final words to Spinner or their talk about hand holding, it was in one ear and out the other for Deku; and there's no sign he's told many people what little he did learn.

So what saves the Teknos of the world? Well Deku kills the big bad on live TV and it's really inspiring. Why is that different from the past 40 years? ...Horikoshi is to burnt out to answer. That's the ultimate answer to the question I've been asking for nearly 200 chapters.

Well I guess I always knew that if Deku couldn't save Tomura, it'd mean he couldn't save anyone like him. And well, he didn't save Tomura. It's why this plot point of "but they get saved anyway" rings so hollow; it's unearned, unfair, unrealistic, and outright contrived & unbelievable as things have been set-up. I just cannot believe it would work out this way; it is honestly 100 times more believable to suppose the old lady was a guilt-fuelled one-off and most Tenkos will die in the streets or turn to villainy. Especially once this "the villain is dead" high has passed. Because as it is; this resolution as-presented feels as reasonable as our finale in chapter 430 suggesting Deku was so inspirational that no one was ever a villain again either.

[nikolas-ghostbusters-fixation]

Something I've been thinking a lot about lately is how everyone thought Egon had gone insane. What Happened that made them think that. They've fought a gigantic Stay Puft Marshmellow Man TWICE (counting the 2009 video game because iirc it's canon? Correct me if I'm wrong), fought an interdimensional god, fought a blood thirsty ruler that killed thousands and was hated by all that was trapped in a painting (and managed to get in to beat him by making THE STATUE OF LIBERTY start walking down the street with slime that reacted purely based on vibes), found an underground abandoned transit system full of the moodslime, had a bathtub try to eat Dana and her baby, fought a giant murderous black widow lady, fought the fisherman ghost who turned an entire hotel floor into the bottom of a ocean, and that's not even mentioning them getting trapped on an island that randomly raised up from underwater that had been abandoned for decades created by Ivor Shandor who worshipped Gozer. So what did he do or say that made everyone else think he'd gone insane?? All I can think is maybe he was acting strange / eratic before, but he's always been like that to some degree.

I don't know. It's something that I've been thinking about. The correct answer is 'it's not that deep and they needed a reason that the others weren't together anymore and weren't aware of Egons death or know what was going on,' but also. What Was He Saying that prompted everyone, including Ray, to think he lost his mind when he'd been right almost every time before that.

I'm genuinely so curious as to what he was up to before this. What was he doing. What insane idea was working on prior to this or was he even working on anything at all??

Also want to clarify this post isn't negative 😭 I really love the newer movies and their lore / the newer storyline / characters, I just like thinking about small stupid things like this. Gives me something to think about / speculate about / figure out an answer to.

[musette22]

Hi friends, just a quick message about the Seb in The Apprentice situation. I've (understandably) been getting quite a few messages about it, most of them wondering why on earth Seb had to take this role, and also expressing concerns and hurt about the whole thing. I absolutely hear all of you, and really feel for those of you who are worried and upset. I am too, to some extent, but I know it's far worse for some of you who have been directly affected by this despicable man's actions and influence. I'm so sorry this is bringing back awful memories and emotions, and that it's tainting what should be your safe space and/or escape. That genuinely sucks, to put it mildly 😔

While I always try to make sure that this blog remains a positive and safe space as much as possible, this is something that I couldn't help but express my own concerns about as well. However, I have done that now, and I feel like for the moment, that's all the attention I want to devote to it. The more we talk about it, the more negativity it seems to garner, and that's doesn't feel beneficial to anything. So for the moment, I won't be replying to any more asks about this situation, at least not until we have more substantial information about the direction this movie is taking and what its goal is. I hope that's okay. Thank you for understanding, and I'm sending lots of love and hugs to everyone who needs it ❤️

[a-sassy-bench]

thank you for voting. i love and hate (affectionately) you all so much ❤️ you definitely picked the hardest one and i'm annoyed that i made this because now i feel an obligation to do it (which was the intention, its just that present tense me is annoyed at past tense me because i'm definitely still in stare at the wall mode and it's easier to use unhealthy coping mechanisms).

i've been scouring the house for all my craft supplies as they're scattered about after the move and i haven't cared about organizing anything since she passed. i'm thinking of crocheting something. i haven't done it in years but i used to be really good once upon a time. i stopped because my little decrepit old lady hands started hurting. now that my epilepsy is better controlled i'm hoping maybe it'll be a little easier (my seizures were causing intermittent muscle paralysis).

my friend asked me to crochet a filbo (from bugsnax) ages ago so I was thinking that, but since i haven't crocheted in so long i wanted to start with a smaller, refresher project but i don't have yarn in any of the colors i need. it's a thousand years before black friday but also it's america so i'm checking out some of the sales for yarn. i'll be sure to share when i get some and get a project going. it's snowing like crazy so it might be a sec.

for now maybe i'll start a new bugsnax run? i am sort of toying around with the idea of streaming bugsnax / streaming doing crochet projects. i don't think anyone is going to join or anything but maybe it's a way for me to manufacture some more pressure on myself to engage in anything aside from this everlasting grief coma.

anyway, i genuinely appreciate your votes, wonderful internet peoples. when i plopped all my yarn in the living room my partner was super confused and when i explained the poll social pressure idea his face just lit up and he was so invested in helping me find a project and grateful you all gave me a little push.

.

so it's been three weeks since my dog died and i basically just vacilate between working during the day and then staring at my phone at night which isn't super ideal from a mental health standpoint. i can't figure out what to do with myself, so:

[littlefankingdom]

~ Batman: The Cult

Just a reminder that Jason hangs up corpses in the street of Gotham, with a sign about the crime they did to get that sentence... While dressing up as Batman too...

Understandable why Jason thinks his younger self would hate him and wish he stayed dead... He did do things he despised...

[vampyroteuthid]

talking to my old trainer at the barn i used to work at because i need references and she sent me this picture of my horse friend

and i feel this image in my chest in a bad way lol. girl his spine. 🥴