#which i can say because I am older than them
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sageadvice · 2 days ago
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I real liked the article that I read because it quoted Dr. Barry Prizant:
Not every case is as severe as Kennedy described, however; many people diagnosed with autism live highly functional adult lives. The recent CDC report found fewer than 40% of children diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder were classified as having an intellectual disability, meaning an IQ of less than 70.
Dr. Barry Prizant, an adjunct professor in the department of communicative disorders at the University of Rhode Island and director of the private practice Childhood Communication Services, told ABC News that Kennedy's comments misrepresent what autism is like for families.
"I am not dismissing the challenges. There are considerable challenges, and a lot of those are barriers to services," he said. "We've been doing a parent retreat weekend for 27 years, where we spend a weekend with 60 parents and family members, and we're not meeting with family members and parents who say, 'Autism is just a tragedy and it's hell in our lives.' They talk about the positives and the negatives, the joys as well as the challenges."
And Dr. Catherine Lord, a psychologist and autism researcher at UCLA's David Geffen School of Medicine:
Medical experts have been studying the potential causes of autism for decades. Research to date suggests that autism is driven by genetics, and the risk may increase when paired with certain outside factors, such as having children at an older age or exposure to pollutants.
"It's not simple," Lord said. "If you look at high-quality publications, the findings are small and, in terms of causes other than the genetics, have been quite hard to replicate. Not meaning they're wrong, but just that we haven't quite figured out what they should be."
Pointing out:
1. There is a significant percentage of the autistic population that can and will attain independence. Treating all people with autism spectrum disorder (even calling it an “illness” at all!) as being on the lower-independence end of the spectrum demonstrates a blanket lack of understanding of the subject.
2. Even families who will be taking on a larger burden of care for their children on the spectrum do not view them as “ruining their lives” and there is EXTENSIVE anecdotal evidence proving this. A person’s value as a person, friend, sibling, child, mother, ANYTHING, is not lessened by the presence of disability.
3. A lot of parents of children with disabilities already struggle with the question of “did I do this to my child?” and despite the already extensive research, we have not found any significant evidence connecting individual cases except genetics, which is not a factor any human can control. Being born with unique challenges is no one’s “fault” and him pushing that rhetoric is harmful to both autistic people and their families.
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This is obviously a deeply vile & offensive take but I'm seeing a lot of responses to it which seem to be predicated on the notion that he's factually wrong about what autism is? When dealing with this kind of rhetoric you do need to bear in mind that there are some autistic people have very high support needs and it's not okay to be ableist towards them either.
Some autistic people will never hold a job or write a poem or go on a date or use a toilet unassisted and they still have rights 👍
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perreqult · 1 day ago
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THE ‘COUGAR TYPE’ ✶ will smith
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summary: will shoots his shot with an older woman (fork found in kitchen)
word count: 1.6k
contains: drinking, swearing, cougars (me core), think that’s it
notes: written by a ‘cougar in progress’ ℱ. also this is unedited so don’t expect this to be good at ALL.
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“Who are you staring at?” Macklin asks, searching around to find who Will’s gaze landed on. He spots you, sipping a coors light, leaning up against a wall with your friends.
“Oh God.” He mumbles, knowing exactly what Wills thinking. “Are you seriously going to go try and flirt with her?” Macklin teases, looking over to Will and laughing, placing his hand on Will’s shoulder. Will’s face flushes and pushing Macklin’s arm right off of him.
“Fuck off.” Will tells him, rolling his eyes. “You do know she’s probably just gonna tell you ‘No.’ as soon as you walk over there, right?” Macklin says, teasing him and placing his arm on him once more.
“You..You don’t know that!” He says, probably louder than he should’ve because a few people around them turn their heads for a moment.
“Okay. Sure, go shoot your shot.” Macklin jokes to him, lifting his hands up and sighs. “It’s gonna be really funny when she immediately turns you down.” Will continues to roll his eyes with every word out of Macklin’s mouth.
“Wait! I need to go get Ekky, he’ll be laughing his ass off.” He runs off, bringing his other teammate back to where Will is standing, pondering thoughts.
“Macklin, what?” Eklund says through slurred words, as Macklin clearly didn’t tell him the reason to be brought over here. “Will wants to go hit on this girl. He seriously thinks he’s got a chance.” He tell him through giggles.
“Ok, number one; don’t point at people, that’s rude, number two; who cares?” Eklund sighs out, lecturing Macklin like he’s his mother.
“Okay, but even you know he doesn’t have a chance!” He says, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “Who are we even talking out?” Eklund asks, looking around.
Macklin points over to you and Eklund just laughs. “Oh yeah, Macklin’s right.” He tells Will, patting him on the back.
“What?” Will practically jumps up, breaking his silence, “How do you know?” He asks, worry covering his face. “I met her a while ago, her sister does social media stuff for the team.” He says, answering his question.
“She’s older than you—” Eklund says, trying to continue but being cut off. “Okay? That doesn’t matter.” Will says defensively. “Yeah, I don’t think she’s the cougar type is all.” He replies, backing up and throwing his hands up. Macklin is having a ball as he’s laughing in the most obnoxious way he could.
“Okay I don’t really care what you guys say. Fuck off.” He sighs and pouts and pushes his drink into Macklin’s chest and makes his way over to you.
The last thing you remember is your friends making a stupid joke about some stupid movie that came out recently, disassociating from the conversation completely. You snap back into reality when you hear what sounds like a 17 year olds voice.
“Uh, hey.” Are the words that draw your attention as you look over. It’s a kid. Looks—what, 18? not this shit again. “Hey.” You give a dry response and you can see the light in his eyes practically disappear.
“Trash ass party, huh?” Hey jokes nervously, trying to save his terrible introduction. “Yeah, why are you here? You’re not dressed like a frat boy but you have the look of one.” You joke to him and jester to his outfit which isn’t the typical frat attire.
“Yeah I uhh.. I get that a lot.” He says, continuing your joke. Just by the way he acts you can tell he doesn’t get told that a lot, but he’s clearly trying to save your awkward conversation.
“So what’re you? 18? Or do you just look like a child?” You ask. He gets flustered and looks down like he’s embarrassed before he says anything. “Oh, no.. um I’m actually 20.” You seriously don’t believe him.
“Are you joking?” You laugh out. “What? No. I really am.” He sputters out, embarrassed. “Uh I have my license I’m not lying.” He tells you, fishing into his pocket and pulling out his wallet and license.
Sure enough, “WILLIAM SMITH— 3/17/2005– EYES: BLUE— HGT- 6’-0–”You’d stopped reading at that point, not caring all too much about his address.
“Your name is Will Smith?” You ask, looking up at him. “Yeah. More common of a name than you’d think.” He jokes with a nervous chuckle. He does seem genuine but you can’t help but laugh.
“That must be inconvenient.” You tease, giggling through your words. He blushes as he lets out a flustered laugh.
“Now that you’ve interrogated me about my age, think I could learn yours?” He asks, trying to be smooth but seeming like anything but that with his beet red face.
You tell him your age, name, where your from, basically everything that is included in a conversation. You do happen to notice—what look to be— his friends staring over at you.
“Those your friends?” You ask, gesturing your hand towards a brunette laughing his ass off and someone familiar— maybe you met him through your sister or something— laughing along with him.
Will whips his head back and you can’t tell he wants to rip his hair out when he sees them. “Oh.. um, yeah. They’re my friends but they act sorta weird sometimes— I’m sorry.” He says, embarrassed.
“Why don’t you bring ‘em over here? That brown haired one seems wasted. I’m dying to meet him.” You say, looking over at them both belly laughing.
“Oh, oh ok.” He tells you before darting off to go bring them over to where you’re standing. You can see him grumble something into the brunettes ear looking pretty serious.
“So um.. this is Macklin” He nudges the brunette one. “And this is Will but we just call him Ekky.” You chuckle. “Yeah, I know him. At least i think I do— ‘looks pretty familiar.”
There’s an awkward setting of silence before Macklin soon breaks it.
“So are you like a cougar or what?” Macklin asks you drunkenly, slurring it all together. Will gets even more red—if that were even possible— and elbows Macklin in the stomach. “Ekky” just laughs, spurring out some of the drink he was sipping on.
“Oh wow, that was bold.” You joke to him, acting fake surprised. He quickly replies, “Well are you?” He asks before taking another sip of his drink, probably his second or third by the way he’s acting.
“From time to time.” You answer, looking over to Will as you say it. Macklin and Eklund look like they’re trying to resist the urge to burst out into laughter when they see Will’s nervous expression.
“Macklin how about you.. go sit down or something?” He tells him, clearly just wanting him out of there. He looks like he’s about to protest but walks away slowly, rolling his eyes.
“I, will go watch him.” Eklund slurs out, pointing to Macklin, who’s stumbling around the room, confused and dazed.
“Yeah, when I said they were weird I wasn’t really lying.” Will tells you, looking back at them, Macklin waving goodbye to you.
“I mean they’re definitely funny.” You giggle out, waving back at Macklin before Eklund smacks his hand down and drags him to a couch.
“You’re pretty funny too, kid.” You point out before finishing your drink, reaching your arm around to discard it on the table behind you.
He practically explodes hearing this but try’s to keep his composure, he fails terribly, a flustered grin spreading across his face. “Cute, too” You continue, smiling at him.
Will intended to say something but the words were stuck in his throat. When he finally musters up something it’s something stupid, “Oh.. um, thanks.” He wants to die. A hot girl that thinks he’s funny just said he’s cute and that was all he could say? He squints his eyes out of embarrassment.
“This party’s lame. I’m heading home.” You say plainly, yawning, patting down your pants to make sure you had your phone.
“Oh.” He says, disappointed, trying to hide it but yet again, failing miserably.
“It’d be a little less lame if I left with your number.” You say, waiting for him to process what you just said. Just like you expected his eyes almost pop out of the sockets, and he fumbles with his pocket before pulling out his phone.
“Uh here.” He tells you as you two exchange phones, saving eachother’s contacts. “Um.. thanks.” He sputters out. He thinks that was even worse than his response to when you called him cute.
“I’ll see you around sometime, kid. Don’t let my number go to waste.” You tell him, bidding him goodbye as you walk out with your friends. He just waves, too nervous to say anything back.
“That was an all star level performance, Smitty. Didn’t know you had that in ya.” Eklund says, leaning over his shoulder behind him. “He barely even said anything!” Macklin replies, wrapping his arm around Will’s shoulder, teasing him.
“Shut up.” He just says, tired and heart still beating out of his chest, removing Macklin’s arms from his shoulder and gently shoving Ekland off of him.
12:17 PM — next day
Do you think you’d let a kid take you out on a date?
↳ is he a cute guy with blue eyes and blond curls? if so sign me up
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carnivore-voyeur · 1 day ago
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Not particularly a huge deal, but I am curious as to where this idea that Dewdrop is *not* bendy and/or flexible comes from, because on multiple posts over the past year or two I’ve seen this suggested in some way or another either through Nameless Ghoul headcanon or in commentary about his on stage performance.
Dewdrop is bendy and flexible, in his own way as are multiple ghouls besides him. Their bodies are just different, and not all bendy bodies are the same. In particular, the unmasked musician behind Dewdrop has long arms and legs in proportion to his torso - his words, he’s discussed having odd proportions before. So, he extends them in interesting ways while performing. His neck also has a greater range of motion, making him seem like a “bobble head” when he head bangs. It’s pretty cool. You can see some of that here.
He, too, can fold his knees under him just like Phantom (see below - Dewdrop on the left hand side and Phantom on the right)
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Note: Dewdrop is older than Phantom by ~13 years. At 30 years old, the unmasked musician joked that he was “old and fragile.” He was doing these Prequelle era bends at ~35+ years old. For reference, Phantom just turned 30 this year. Age does play a part in physicality on stage, but I’ll say it’s pretty impressive how much energy Dewdrop still gives at 43.

.and he is still known for bending his back at a near 90 degree angle.
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You can also see how his knees bend inward here, which shows potential hypermobility in his knees:
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(There’s unmasked pictures of this as well, but I won’t post those here.)
If you watch some of his miasma performances, he bends back quite a bit especially here.
I think what might throw people off is his posture. He’s tends to stand stoically and rigidly. He’s also occasionally sustained injuries and/or experienced a limitation in joint mobility during a performance - e.g. he appeared to have dislocated his shoulder during the Prequelle era of touring, and he had to finish the ritual playing backstage. During Year Zero once he struggled to stand up from kneeling. Etc. So he may limit the moves he does.
Another reason why he may avoid doing this as much anymore is because the unmasked musician has expressed that he gets dizzy / motion sickness easily, as well as migraines. That doesn’t mean he’s not flexible or bendy - he is. It’s just that continuing to do those things could have negative consequences for him.
Anyway
 you could say that perhaps other ghouls are more flexible or bendy than him, and maybe that’s true but please remember that not all bendy bodies are the same! (I say this as a bendy person whose bendiness is limited to specific joints) He’s still bendy in his own way.
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lostpiewrites · 2 days ago
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Do you remember the rain?🌧
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a/n : art credits for missatoru on insta. and slight manga spoiler.
synopsis : little did you know that your new summer job to make your pocket money would give you not only a new friend but a prom date AND the love of your life...
FT : Hiori Yo from blue lock
You needed money. Not because you came from a financially struggling family , but because they weren't approving of what you wanted. You are a senior year student and it is the most normal thing for a student to attend their own graduation party. You told your parents about it and they approved first but they backtracked when they saw the dress you want to wear because it was too "expensive".
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a/n : any body type and skin color is appreciated. the photos are used only to show a visual image of the clothing you want to wear. (also if any brand name is visible , it isn't an advertisement).
You knew that wasn't the case and they didn't want to upset you by saying sth like "you can't wear that , it's too revealing for an 18 y.o to wear". You didn't blame them , you knew that they were trying to protect you. You also knew it was revealing , bold and probably not the best choice to wear at a prom party where there will be hormone machines walking around , thinking that they have grown up now that they have turned 18, chugging down goblets of alcohol like water. But it was a matter of pride for you. You took a bet from the queen bee of your school. She said that you would never be able to attend that party and look better than her and you said "Bet i would steal your date without trying". So you HAD TO attend that party. Because of that ; you cleaned the house , washed the dishes , cooked the dinner , mowed the lawn and acted as a "good girl" to bribe your family to accept your conditions. In the end , if you were to pay for the dress and the heels , you could attend the party wearing them.
So a few days later , you talked to one of your friend's older sister who works at a café , telling her that you would do anything if you were to be accepted as a part-time employeé. Through her , you were accepted in the same café as a part-time cleaner/waitress who works only on weekends , for 30$ per day. It was more than enough for you to save the money you needed for the dress until the prom party which is about 7 months later. You would go to school on weekdays and work on the weekends. It was a perfect plan but little did you know that God had even better plans for you...
Right now , at 8pm on a Saturday night , you were moping the floor. The café closed at 8pm and you were planning to go home after you finished cleaning. But until then , a heavy rain started. Thunders ,bone chilling cold, a few snowdrops here and there... All of it. The type of rain that people are scared to even just poke their heads out of their windows. So you thought "Okay looks like i am stuck here for a few hours. Glad that there is at least no school tomorrow". You cleaned everywhere and settled down onto a table , doing your research homeworks on internet to spend time as throughout the weekend you wouldn't have time to. You texted your parents about it and without waiting for an answer , you zoomed in.
About 20 minutes later , a guy around your age entered the café , even tho you were sure that you have hung the "closed" sign onto the door. He smiled politely and said with a cute Kansai dialect:
"Sorry , i have seen the closed sign but here is the only shop i have seen around here with lights on and people still inside. It's raining cats and dogs outside. Can i stay here until the rain stops ? Or at least slows down..?"
You looked at him up and down. He was drenched in water , hair damp and water droplets pooling down on the floor around him. You mentally squeezed your eyes shut and thought "omg nooooo! i have just mopped the floor. It will all be covered in mud right now. God why do you have to torture me like this ?" but caved in after seeing him shiver subtly even under the thick clothes he was wearing. "Well i am not that evil , it is probably freezing as well. Also it wouldn't hurt to have company this late at night. It's almost 9 pm. There may be creeps outside."
"You can stay , it's okay. I am here waiting for it to finish too."
After hearing that , he sighed relievedly and sat down next to you on the table. Putting down a sports bag next to him on the floor. You stood up , turned the heaters on , then went inside to bring both him and yourself a cup of hot chocolate . You gave him his while teasing him and chuckling.
"Ever heard of sth called umbrella ? With that much of cold water over you , you will probably catch a cold , dont get sick on me now... Here, drink this. Bon appetit. Oh and i am y/n y/l/n btw."
He laughed a little at how fast you were talking while taking the hot chocolate from you. He held the cup in his palms for a few moments for his hands to warm up. Than spoke :
"Thank u. And i am Hiori Yo. Nice to meet you y/n"
With introductions being out of the way , you chit-chatted for hours until the rain stopped. You told him everything about you and your story, how did you end up working here. Then he talked about himself , his soccer career and how did he end up in Blue Lock. Talking with him felt easy and comforting even tho you have overshared about yourself. He didn't judge. Laughed , cringed and gossiped with you like he was your personal therapist. Homework ? Long forgotten. After the rain stopped, you went home with the goofiest smile ever on your face and a phone number that will tie you to your destiny.
After that day , the 15 mins of bathroom breaks both at your school and at the café have become sacred periods of time for you. You don't even remember how... But not long after , they were a breath of fresh air between the brain-melting lessons of your school and "tf did i do this time ? why people are yelling at me ? i hate life" shifts at your small workplace . You could text him for whatever reason and there was never a single doubt in you. He would reply , always , no matter how "busy" he is ; without realizing that he puts the biggest of smiles on your face and recharges your social battery so you can continue dealing with people's shits. But little did you know that he was also looking forward to that spesific 3.25-3.40 pm period on weekends where he knew you would text him the stupidest shower thought on your mind , making him giggle like a school boy in love. But isn't that what he was ? A stupid , cringy school boy in love... One that always came to "study" in the café where you are working , ordered the most expensive drink/pastry so you could get more promotion bonus , scored more goals and played better overall to exchange the points he gained for a day he could spend with you out of that cursed blue lock building...
A few months after , he was nervously holding his phone and sitting on his bed. The Neo Egoist League have just ended a few days ago and he came home before the U20 world cup season started. "It should be easy. We are close friends." he thought. He was planning this all along , after the day he has met you in that café that you used to work. You have left the café after saving up enough money for that prom dress and heels. You were happy that you finally had ordered them and your parents would have no say in it due to your agreement. But he was upset that he wouldn't be able to see you more. So he had to ask this, if he wanted to spend more time with you. He nervously texted you , asking if he could be the prom date you wanted. It was a pleasant surprise for you. One that brought a few tears into your eyes. Because he wasn't from your school and knew nobody there but would go into lion's den to make you happy. Moreover , you wouldn't expect him to remember sth you casually mentioned about 7 fcking months ago. You accepted it. Without a second thought. Because if anyone would make you happy just by being beside you , it was him.
A few days later , you guys stood at the entrance of the hall. He was wearing a black suit , to match your dress. Your legs were wobbly because of your heels being too high. He gently held your hand to help you steady yourself. And just at that moment , a gentle rain started , as if congratulating him for the move. He looked up and giggled before saying ;
"Do you remember the rain that brought us together ? Does it accompany us on important dates ? Should we expect rain to come whenever we are having sth going on together?"
You laughed with him and followed him into the hall. You were the most beautiful girl in the whole party , with the most handsome boy in your life accompanying you. People were recognizing him as one of the blue lock's last 23 to play at the U20 world cup and looking at you like you have grown a 2nd head , wondering how in the world you could bring him in as your prom date. You have won the bet by now. You have always wanted to be seen by boys , that's why you took that bet and dolled up the prettiest you you could muster. But with him beside you , you wouldn't even give two flying flocks about it anymore.
While you guys were inside and having fun , the rain started pouring heavily , just like the day you two met , singing a romance song while you two slow-danced. And Hiori was right. It would accompany you on every important day in your lives. From your first date to the day you were walking down the aisle towards him with a wobbly legs because of your heels being too high...
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the-worms-in-your-bones · 1 year ago
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I am once again going down the rabbit hole of trying to figure out the ages of the Gallifrey characters
#idk why my brain gets so caught up on this but it does#I’m also talking like start of gallifrey because I’m not getting into all that for them now#what bothers me the most is that we’ve got basically nothing on Narvin#I can’t remember for sure but I don’t even think we know what regeneration he’s on#I don’t think it would be hard to assume his first but also it could not be#like for brax we know he’s older than the doctor so that puts him at at least 1000#and romana is around 600 years younger than the doctor so she’d be around 400#and then I’m going with 50 ish for leela because we don’t know her actual age so I’m using Louise jamesons age plus the time she spent#married to andred#also with romana that’s assuming that her and the doctor experienced the same amount of time in between them traveling together and the#start of gallifrey#I guess that could also count for brax too but whatever#for narvin what we’ve got is that he was above the rank of a junior agent under vansell during the time of the fourth doctor#(at least probably)#so we can make the assumption that he wasn’t fresh out of the academy/cia training#which makes me inclined to say that he’s older than romana#but that’s really all I’ve got on him#doctor who#gallifrey#romana#irving braxiatel#narvin#leela#clearly this is a subject I am normal about#if anyone else makes it this far in my rant and has any insights I’d love to hear them
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arolesbianism · 3 months ago
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Shakes and cries I wanna make Jackie parent hc designs but I can't because potentially one of them is a prevalent character now and her ass has not spoken a single line yet so I both know nothing and can't just start making shit up yet </3333
#rat rambles#oni posting#I hope alan shows up at some point I need to know what one alan stern is up to so badly#I mostly am hoping things stay relatively vague with the family drama but I would like a sense of what they're personalities are like#if for no other reason than wanting more proxy fuel for jackie character analysis#but alas there will likely be quite the wait until we get new story content again#which Im fine with to be clear I want them to take their time to polish things#especially since the last two dlcs were so close together#plus Id like to see some new bionic dupes before then as well#I assume new bionic dupes will come as we get more stuff but itd be comforting to see all that stuff not be locked behind a whole new dlc#Im fine with dlc exclusive dupes dont get me wrong I just don't want the oni team to build a situation in which the bionic boosterpack#starts to retroactively feel like an unfinished product due to basic things such as a decent dupe selection being locked behind other dlcs#I rly hope that new bionic dupes are sprinkled throughout different qol updates or something like that instead#other than that I have no real expectations for what comes next gameplay wise Im simply content letting the oni team cook#I just am also going to be a big baby abt wanting new lore already the entire time because I wanna draw alan nowwwwwww#I also need to know if jackie's maybe brother is older or younger than her this is so important#since I very first read oni stuff I have seen her as the youngest of 2 and I would rather have them shatter that image sooner than later#I still Want him to be older but I am very willing to accept my hcs being obligerated with jackie#the last time they did it it was entirely for the better and I trust that when they inevitably do it again it will also be for the better#that being said I do want to announce I take it all back abt wanting more joshua stuff Im too attached to my hcs let me have this#joshua is the one oni character where I just like fully let loose my ideas upon it would be so easy for it all it crumble into dust#and like I would adapt and be fine but I would rather get to keep the ever growing chunk of my oni playlist he takes up in tact#thankfully I feel fairly comfortable that most the relevant guys in the basegame story aren't going to be too much of a presence for now#we seem to be getting more focus on general worldbuilding and less on preexisting characters#most glaringly olivia has basically been a complete nonpresence in both dlcs so gar#nikola and ashkan both continue to be the offhand mentioned but outside of them the focus seems to be shifting towards new characters#in particular I find it fun that gossmann has been mentioned in both of the recent dlcs making me wonder if shes going to be smth of a#nikola like character for the upcoming dlcs#also please let b. boson be burt please please please please please I need my boy to be real#I'm inclined to say he also certainly is but there is a world where boson is a rando so I can only be so confident
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zaddyazula · 2 years ago
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something i think some people don’t understand is that everyone has different things that happen to them in their life!!! just because something isn’t emotional to you doesn’t mean you should try and tell people who did find it emotional it’s not!!!! people have lived beyond who you know in person!!!!!
#i saw a barbie post and it reminded me of this#like this is so fucking simple and some people do not get it#i bawled my eyes out at the end of the barbie movie because it took me back when i was younger and i really connected with it#but my friends (who i went to see it with) didn’t cry at it or find it emotional and have since tried to convince me it wasn’t sad#you don’t know why i cried at it!! you don’t get it!#and when i try to tell them “you don’t get it because we’ve had different lives” they say there’s nothing to get because it’s not sad#they don’t get it because they haven’t had my particular experience - the same way i haven’t had theirs#i don’t know how difficult it is to not discredit someone’s emotions but it can’t be that hard#the barbie movie is really important and special to me as someone who struggles with identity#my friends don’t know this so i can’t blame them for that but the point still stands#the age old thing you are taught when you are literally a young child is that you don’t know what people are going through so be respectful#but they and other people don’t seem to understand that despite being well older than a young child#you have no idea why i find it sad. let me find it sad and move on with your life.#particularly two of them seem to try and cement this point that the film and the billie eilish song (which i literally cannot listen to)#aren’t sad#it really does irritate me because any possibility i get to say something’s sadness can be entirely subjective in some cases i am dismissed#these people are girls. they played with barbies. and still i can bet every one of us associates different things to when they played with#barbies. they do not get that.#i can’t really describe my relationship with the barbie movie properly and maybe it’s just me having a fit about it but it is so so persona#to me.#sorry for the rant.#barbie movie#barbie 2023#zad talks
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saltyfilmmajor · 2 months ago
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Takes 4 hours to watch a 2 hour film because I keep pausing to talk about localization quirks
#this is less a critique in localization practices and more an examination of them#I did the same thing with Sonic X Too#the thing with the Sonic X Latin American Dub is that it’s based on the English localization#probably something to do with TMS’s international licensing#anyway so it’s not localized from the original Japanese rather it’s localized from a localization#anyway im just vibing i have nothing much go say about this other than: language cool#the dub of the movie is fascinating because very little of the dialogue is changed#with the exception of the use of honorifics (something we DO have but not to the same extent )#things like san chan sama are not directly translatable in Spanish#(don’t mind my tag rant I just want to talk about the two languages I actively am trying to improve on)#interestingly in the opening explanation Conan calls Kogoro “mi tio”#which is very different in connotation than saying Ojisan#we don’t necessarily use tio for unrelated older men as a term of respect#you can but it’s culture dependent and more a quirk of dialect rather than an agreed upon term of respect#(I went and asked my parents and they both offered two different terms for example: maestro and don or even just señor)#back to the main point I’ve seen the movie so many times now that I’m able to compare the localization and very little is changed#I wonder where i originally watched the clip for the film because apparently this came out in 2014 but like I swear there#was an earlier dub somewhere#maybe I should consult the one five part YouTube series on the Detco dubs .
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clearallcathy · 5 months ago
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anyway im having fun with colors now that ive sworn off the Nefarious Orange Undertones. i always hated anything that i can see orange in tbh But i have not grown up on not only pretentious storytelling but also 2000s school moviesand i have chronic outdated person syndrome so i am not immune to propaganda. for clothes
#i feel like i should write something about this topic because sure im vain but its not just about vanity after a certain point#im vain when im doing cocomelon shit with eyeliner but im not vain when i try to look like my skin is clearer than it actually is#or when i try to unfrizz my hair because i idgaf about either of those things in a vacuum#when we had lockdown and nobody perceived me oh brother#i damaged my hair on Purpose cause i thoufht it looked fun and whimsical#but when im out and about more its not fun anymore cause i get like. people working in stores following me around if i look too messy LMFAO#but if i do certain things its completely different.#it kind of messes with my head idk if my interest in the topic is all that healthy but like#its kind of really interesting. the way small details make people see you in a completely different way#ive had people both ask what subject i teach in my uni/if im married and say i was familiar and ask like where my parents are#or Really hesitate to serve me alcohol#and ​dont even get me started on gender business i could write essays on it#presenting feminine is a scary high stakes gamble#though iit remains true that people often think im a lot older than i am which im kinda obsessed with#hope i never ruined any chatty uber guys marriages by giving them relationship advice despite never being married.#ive told ppl my mom is my work bestie and they believed me .#Like ok caring about looks is annoying but girl it goes beyond customizing the avatar you can customize your life#and i sure do enjoy my office lady persona i should start trying to emphasize my fine lines i wanna see what wpuld happen#.txt
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acetheta · 11 months ago
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ellana-ravenwood · 6 months ago
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“Batman, you need to-IS THAT A BABY ?!” - Batfam x Fem!reader
Synopsis : Bruce and Batmom bring their newborn daughter to the Watchtower, so she can meet their friends (or vice versa). Includes an overprotective Damian, League members who cannot believe the Batman is smiling, and other shenanigans.  
Oop, I’m back (?). My dudes. It’s been TWO YEARS since I last posted here. Two. Years. I posted like, two life update...don’t know if some of y’all saw it, but long story short : I got married, I have a son now, and everything is going so well in my life that I didn’t really need the validation I got from writing online...Buuuuuuuuuuuuut, I still love writing. And so, after quite a long break, here I am :). Hope you will enjoy this, don’t hesitate to let me know if you do : 
Please, do not repost my stories anywhere else, under any other form. Do not translate and then repost them either. Thank you.
My masterlist : @ella-ravenwood-archives
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“You’re evil, you know that right ?” You say, raising an eyebrow.  
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, my love.” He answers, a small smile on his lips. You turn to him and...Oh that smug look, that smug look you loved so much. He definitely DEFINITELY knew what he was doing. 
And that it was utterly...evil. 
“It’s going to be FUN !” 
Ah, and here’s his little devil. Damian himself. He loved this. Partly because he thought it was funny to mess with everyone, partly because he liked showing that you guys were a family. 
“They won’t believe their eyes !” His little voice kept going, followed by a big roar of laughter that sounded, by all means, more childlike than devilish. 
“That they won’t, they always seem so surprised when Bruce acts like a human.” 
Jason. Still not calling Bruce “dad” (except sometimes, by “accident”, and even him don’t realize he did), he’d only slowly been back at the manor, with all of you. And, for sure, a certain important event which happened about four months ago made it so he came back to live at home.
Dick chuckled and added : “Who would blame them ? We’re talking about a man who eats his burgers with a knife and fork !” He gestured to his father with his left thumb, his other hand shielding part of his mouth as if he was telling them all a secret, as if he was trying to be discreet, so his dad wouldn’t hear...Always quite the little clown, that eldest son of yours. With his exaggerated mannerism, and that sparkle in his eyes, in his smile. 
“I’m certain some of them thought he was genuinely a cyborg for YEARS” Tim added, quite seriously, his tone the opposite of his older brother (and that was just his way of joking...you think). And honestly ? Yeah, you were pretty sure some of your friends at the JLA thought your husband was a robot, at one point. 
Oh yes. That’s where you were going, to the JLA’s headquarters. To execute Bruce’s plan. Quite the evil plan indeed. 
“Hell, even I thought he was one before I met you guys !” Duke chimed in, and that made Cassandra smile widely, as she shook her head up and down pointing at Duke as if to say : “what he just said”. 
And in a very Bruce manner, your husband kept a straight face, ignoring his children’s teasing. Only you, saw that twinkle in his eyes, that smile that might not reach his mouth, but was definitely dancing in those bright blue eyes. 
Oh yes. Yes, your friends were in for quite the surprise. 
************
Meanwhile, in the Justice League headquarters : 
“Oh, hey ! Look, Batman’s zeta tube is turning on ! We haven’t seen him in a while right ?”  
Indeed they haven’t. Because, well, let’s put it this way : Batman’s wife just had a baby. 
A baby girl (finally, right ? You and Cass weren’t TOO outnumbered anymore). 
And Batman had been VERY busy doting over his baby girl. 
Batman had been busy being Bruce Wayne. 
Just a man, who thought he’d never be happy again, not knowing how to handle all those feelings he had for his wife (for you), for his children. 
That was happiness then, right ? 
So, yes. Batman hasn’t been much at the JLA’s headquarters lately. But your husband thought, it was finally time to go see his friends a little bit. He knew they were all up there, because it was their monthly reunion (once each month, they gathered to talk about the state of the world, the universe, what threat lingered, what lurked beyond...and to get very drunk, and see their friends, the only ones who knew what it meant to be a “hero”). 
And that what’s made him particularly evil. 
He knew, they would all be there. He knew what their reaction was going to be. After all, his memory was amazing, he definitely hadn’t forgot the way they reacted the first time they saw you, the first time they learned he had children (childrEN, plural !). 
And he knew they were a little worried about him. 
He had missed their last three reunions, and only answered : “Everything is ok” to their messages asking if he was alright (they hadn’t dared to go see if he was indeed ok, because last time they did that, they found him bed ridden with all the bones in his body broken, and he got so mad at them for butting in his business he worked twice as hard when he was fine again, and didn’t talk a WORD for months...that was, of course, years ago, before you were in his life, but the experience was still in their minds and so, they decided to respect his privacy, he would come to them when ready). And he never pushed his “red button”, him, or anyone in the family. 
They just assumed he was busy, they hoped it wasn’t anything bad. 
Yes. They were worried. For him. For you. For your kids. For Alfred. For your dogs, your cats, your cow...They. Were. Worried. 
And Bruce knew. 
You told him, when your pregnancy was confirmed, to tell his friends. That they would be happy. But after his own initial happy thought, his surge of hope and love at knowing he was going to be a dad again, he started to make his plan. 
Why tell them, when you could toy with them ? 
“They deserve it.” He told you, and you weren’t sure if they did, but you weren’t about to fight him on that. After all, you too, thought it could be amusing. Amusing to hide your pregnancy, making up excuses as to why they couldn't come see you, and you didn’t come up the headquarter. Amusing, to even hide it quite expertly from any form of news (Bruce was a MASTER of disguise, not only for himself), so it would be a real surprise. 
Amusing, to have your little girl in secret, with only your family. Amusing, but also what you wanted. For this good news to be just between you, your children, and Alfred. Your close family. Because you had too few things that just were yours. 
This had to be yours. Your thing, your secret, your own happiness. Yours, and only yours. And you found it was good, that you guys spend the first few months of your daughter’s life only between yourselves. 
It was nice, to go out “disguised” as a normal couple, and show your daughter Gotham (and how her little eyes already tried to take the entire world within them). 
It was nice, to live in total privacy for a little bit. 
So, yes, you had been a little selfish. And he had, too. You knew it wasn’t just to prank his friends, he kept it all a secret. That it was also to have some quality time with his family. To spend the first few months of his daughter’s life being the only one being utterly smitten with her. 
Though, this last thing wasn't true...You were, too. And your children ? Let’s just say your daughter had not been alone ONCE since she was born. And she seemed to love it. 
Whenever she made the slightest sound, smiled, laughed (or cried), they were there, Bruce was there, absolutely loving that little baby. 
She was almost 4 months old now, and Bruce thought that the gist had to be up. What scale did he use to measure this amount of “readiness” ? You had no idea. You thought he was just now ready to share his happiness with his friends, and not just his close family. 
And so here you were, after months of secrecy carefully crafted and orchestrated by your husband, in the JLA’s headquarters, along with your family, the little new addition to said family in your husband’s arms. 
Evil. Your husband was downright evil. 
He knew that what was about to happen would have a massive impact on his friends. He. KNEW. 
And as the zeta tube brought all your family up there, you knew that as he saw their faces, your husband was a little TOO happy with himself for his little “prank”. 
************
“Batman, are you al- IS THAT A BABY ?” Very typical, very in character : the first to react was Flash himself. 
None of the other noticed, and they seemed inclined to think Barry had lost his mind but then...
Bruce’s face didn’t move an inch, he just held that little “package”, and had his same stoic expression except...Except there was a little hand grabbing at his chin. 
Then another hand appeared out of that bundle Batman carried, with a bat plushie bunched in a tight fist, shaking it and...Cooing. 
Cute little sounds, and the way- EXCUUUuuUuuuUSE ME ?
The way Batman just softly looked at her, the way his cold expression was replaced by a tender one as he lowered his eyes to her ??
WHAT ?! 
They knew. They knew he had THE softest spot for his family. They knew his scary aura greatly dimmed when he was around his wife and children. They knew that when they weren’t there, he was only made of shadows. They were his light, his salvation. 
They knew he didn’t have the same face expression, when they were around.
Well, when they were looking at him...Barry swore that Batman loomed around his family, standing menacingly behind them, his eyes cold and calculating as if he was ready to fight any seconds to save his loved ones, and then whenever they turned to him his feature would instantly soften. He will ALWAYS remember the first time he met little Dickie, 9 years old and so full of joy and life, and how whenever he would look at Batman and talk to him, said Batman got a softer expression somewhat, but then when Dick turned around, Batman looked about to murder them whenever they came too close from him. 
Once, Tim, also 9 at the time, years after the JLA met Dick, told Barry matter of factly : “He doesn’t kill people. He could break your knee caps though” in a very Tim fashion. The kid was serious. And had noticed the aura surrounding his dad, how it changed when he was around (he noticed more than his siblings, because for a while, Bruce had been really cold and distant with him, since he met him not long after Jason’s death..understandable. So he was the only one who had this sort of behavior aimed at him, the shield Bruce put in front of him to keep everyone away so he wouldn’t be hurt, the shield that now was lowered for them and only them). 
It was his eyes. His eyes that were always hard and cold, became different when looking at you or his children. 
Not to say that his family never exasperated him, or that he never had his “mask” around them. After all, Bruce’s stoic expression was his face by default. It’s just that he was often too focused. And that he spend years practicing hiding his emotions, practicing keeping a blank face. Because Barry also remembered seeing Dick perched on his father’s shoulders, letting himself dangle in his back, his head upside down, whistling and kicking his feet, and Bruce having this stoic mask on, concentrated. 
Anyway, they knew all that. It had been years, since Bruce finally trusted them enough to bring his wife here, and his kids. But yet, yet they were still surprised sometimes.
Like today. 
The picture of Batman holding a baby was...a little weird. 
Even if he opened up to them over the years, he was still mostly very cold, distant and aloof. You know, Batman. That’s just who he was. So sometimes, to see him so devoted to his wife or kids, it was odd to say the least. 
And right now, as he walked towards them with a baby in his arms, the shock was real. Damn it, will there be a day when the Bat didn’t surprise them with something ? 
How did none of them notice you were pregnant ? Proof again Batman was a master of his craft. And that little girl...
Oh your daughter was such a beaming ray of sunshine, that in his arms it was particularly a jarring image. 
The big scary bat, tall, broad shouldered, muscular in every way, his face void of expressions, holding a tiny baby who kept smiling at everyone around, and playing with her plushy. 
Odd. 
Yet, sweet. 
Were they surprised ? Yes. 
Were they a little mad he hid something (AGAIN) this important from them ? Definitely. 
Were they shocked that his daughter was so darn cute and smiling and laughing that much ? Not really, because you were his mom too. 
Were they happy for him ? For sure. 
Were they going to adore that little girl ? Probably as much as they adored his other kids already, which meant...yes. Yes they were going to. 
Damn that bastard Bruce. Always so sneaky. 
Hal, couldn’t help but think : “First, he’s not a vampire, then, he’s married with children, and now, he has that cute baby. This guy ??!!” 
***********
The initial shocked passed, and only after your children MOCKED all of your friends (you had to give it to Dick, he knew how to imitate them so well..and when Damian joined in ? Oh, oh it was a fit of laughter impossible to fight that attacked them), did they approach your daughter. 
“Her name is Martha.” Bruce said “We named her after my mother.” and it wasn’t his usual flat tone he used as Batman. No, it was a soft voice he usually only reserved for his kids. And the reason he was using it now ? Well. He didn’t want to scare his daughter, as he still held her. 
She beamed at him when she heard her name, and babbled some baby nonsense. She then turned towards all those new faces, and you saw Bruce’s hand hold her a little tighter. 
Your beautiful, sweet soul husband. He clearly was worried she’d be scared, meeting all those new people. Especially since they all wore mask. But Martha-
Martha let go of her bat plushy (which Damian caught before it touched the floor, rolling on the ground in a way you thought was quite comedic. Oh, that boy), and lifted her arms up towards- 
“What a sweet little girl !” Diana said with a voice you NEVER heard her use. You realized it was her “voice reserved for babies and domestic animals”, and it made you smile. It was higher than her usual voice, and full of softness. 
You thought your daughter reached for her because she could feel the warmness in your friend. And after all, amongst all of those gathered here today, she was probably the one that adored babies the most. 
Diana looked at Bruce, who only inclined his head a little to give her the ok to lift her from his arms but-
Another arm stopped her, and took the baby away. 
Damian. 
Damian, the one who took his role as a big brother a little too seriously. 
He held Martha protectively against him, and literally sneered at all your friends. 
************
Damian deemed most of them unworthy to hold his baby sister, and only Clark ended up being allowed to carry her. And that was partly because Clark was the only one who knew about Martha, the only one who saw her already, and he had months to convince your son to trust him with her. 
Being an extremely close friend and all, you just couldn’t hide this from him and... no, really, you literally couldn’t hide this from him as he was the immediately noticed that second heartbeat when he listened in to make sure you and your family were safe. Bruce hated when he did that, but Clark wasn’t about to let them be in danger without moving an inch.
Anyway, Clark was allowed to hold her, but he gave her back to you rather quickly because your son’s stare made him uncomfortable. If eyes could kill, right ? 
Damian took his job as an older brother very seriously. He would protect her at all cost. And you had no doubt that he would be the kind of person to burn the entire world down if it meant saving his family. 
Damian only glared at everyone, letting them approach ONLY after they put on a surgical mask so they wouldn’t give her their “viruses or whatever”. 
You had to admit he was a bit much, and you asked him nicely to calm down a little. He relented on the face masks, but made them all wash their hands (twice). 
You ruffled his hair affectionately, what a sweet little boy. It broke your heart, how so many people judged him too fast. He really was, a nice kid. With a heart of gold. He just didn’t have much luck for the first few years of his life. 
But he chose to be like this. Chose to love, instead of hate. Chose to protect, instead of attacking. 
Although, right now, as Diana came back towards his sister, he definitely seems ready to high kick her (which definitely wouldn’t have hurt the amazon). 
************
It was a hassle, to convince Damian to let go of his sister so they could hold her. As per usual, it’s Dick who managed to convince him, saying Martha was all soft and cute, and everyone deserved to hold her at least once. Adding that if one of them dropped her, he would be allowed to do whatever he wanted to them. 
Some of the mightiest heroes of the planet were gathered hear, but the threat didn’t fall on deaf ears. Damian could be a little intense, and scary sometimes. 
They weren’t fooled by Dick’s agreeable smile either. A smile that didn’t always reach his eyes. They knew if they messed up, he would find every way to rip them to shreds. Dick was often seen as the calmest of your children, but his anger issues from when he was a child were never far. And he could be ruthless.  
Diana held her first, and your daughter babbled to her excitedly. 
Of course, being only 4 months old, she just talked gibberish. And it was so sweet, how Diana answered her : “What ? *babbles from your daughter* Noooooo. *more babbles from your daughter* I can’t believe he said that. And then what ? *babbles babbles babbles*”. 
After that, Dick took her back, and asked if someone else wanted to hold her, under yours and Bruce’s watchful eyes. 
Then again, in the room, many were also already parents and knew how to hold a baby. They weren’t too worried, except-
Except Dick, that little sh-, had found a new game in recent weeks. Whenever he gave his little sister to someone else...he pretended to drop her. 
And it made him laugh and laugh and laugh, to give mini-heart attacks to EVERYONE whenever he gave them his baby sister to them, as they always all panicked and screamed seeing her dropped (Dick always had her secure, he only pretended to drop her of course). 
“Oh no careful !” He’d scream, dropping his arms suddenly (she looooved it) while still gripping her, and they’d scramble to catch her, and he would just laugh. 
“You little-” Hal’s colorful words were...imaginative. And Damian was inclined to agree, since his brother pranked him oh, I don’t know, only about A HUNDRED TIMES since their little sister was born. 
You wouldn’t admit it, but it made you laugh a little too. Even if he got you a few times as well, pretending he was going to drop her. Then again, you trusted your eldest son. Once you and Bruce wouldn’t be around anymore, you knew he would hold this family together. 
************
Martha was a calm baby. She let people hold her, curious enough to not fuss and watch them all intently. It made Barry uncomfortable, how she held his gaze and would just stare at him. 
She would stare, and stare, and stare, and her bright blue eyes were EXACTLY like Bruce’s, it felt like being stared down by a miniature version of Batman. 
He didn’t like it. So he gave her back to whomever was closest, which happened to be Jason
Jason, who was always very delicate with his little sister. He handled her as if he’d break her. It broke your heart, to know he probably literally thought that. 
He refused to hold her at first, sure he would hurt her. But she kept reaching for him, crying when he wouldn’t take her, and she was so adorable and-
He caved, of course. After a little while. And he was oh, the fixture of a patient older brother. You knew he would ALWAYS be part of her life, and step in whenever she needed to. 
Right now, she was grabbing his hair, which were getting quite long, and pulling hard on them as babies do and- He didn’t say anything. He just let her do it. 
You really hoped she wasn’t going to take advantage of this when she’d get older, even if you already had visions of her having her brothers and father wrapped around her little finger, having her sister too, and...apparently, the entirety of the JLA. 
************
“How can such an a-hole make such a cute baby ?” Hal said, looking at the little girl he held. She was sort of dozing off, which for sure was adorable. 
Bruce only glared at him, which amused Hal greatly. He just gave him the shock of his life, he could laugh at his expense a little, right ? 
“I believe, to make a baby, you need to-”
“Um, no, Jon, please, I know how to ! It’s just-Oh, forget it.” 
Flustered, Hal Jordan was flustered. Jon J’onzz didn’t seem to get why, but then again, human sarcasms and irony were still very foreign to him. He always answered pragmatically to people. 
Talking about pragmatism. Hal handed back your daughter to Tim, who slipped her in his favorite new contraption : the baby carrier 3.0 (of his own design). Made so he could do all sort of work while having her strapped to him. Keeping an eye on her at all time. 
Tim adopted the use of a baby carrier, so he could still work while taking care of her (he stole the idea from his dad, who definitely hung around with his daughter EVERYWHERE with that thing...which was the most adorable thing you’ve ever seen, this tall broad man and this tiny baby attached to his chest). 
It was so cute to see her little feet dangling while he was working. Damian nearly lost it when he found Tim WELDING two pieces of metal together with the baby carrier on his front. Tim merely said : “I made her baby sized goggles and a fireproof pyjama, she’s fine, and she likes it” and indeed, your daughter didn’t have a scratch, and cried when Damian hauled her away from the sparks. Ooooh the smug look on Tim’s face as his brother gave her back reluctantly. Damian’s was utterly vexed. 
Vexation he forgot just a few minutes later, when Martha decided she had enough of sparkles and made little sounds of protest (not quite cries), and reached her little arms to him. 
As of now, Tim had her in this baby carrier again, and was strolling around the JLA headquarters, showing his new little sister to everyone. 
************
Cassandra didn’t say a word, as per usual. She never liked big crowds, only spoke to those she trusted the most. Her brothers, her parents. 
She only gestured to others. Remained quiet. But she monitored every little movements. 
Hawkgirl approached her sister ? Noted. Carefully studying every move. Martian Manhunter asked if he could hold her ? Noted. 
Superman made little babbling sound at her, while her dad held her ? Noted, with amusement. It was funny, to see one of Earth’s mightiest hero grimacing to a baby to make it laugh, while said baby was held by another mighty hero who was utterly stoned face. Cass’ smiled at her dad, who smiled back for a fraction of seconds before Clark shifted his head up to look at him too, and Bruce went back to his : “ -_-” face, by reflex really. 
Cassandra never spoke much, but she loved a lot. And her way of loving her little sister ? It was to always keep a watchful eye on her, so she could react to whatever she needed. And give her space when she needed to. 
She had many brothers, she often joked that if she lost one, she could just replace him (a joke you didn’t like much, because you knew it was just a self-defense from her, to shield her heartbreak at the mere idea of loosing a sibling), but only had one sister...
Yes. Your youngest child definitely held a special place in everyone’s heart. 
And you could see her slowly creep in every members’ of the Justice League’s heart too. 
Gods, you couldn’t even imagine what would happen to the person who would one day try to hurt her. You could bet, though, he wouldn’t get out of it unscathed (to say the least). 
************
Martha was particularly fond of Duke’s inuit kiss. He had the capacity to instantly calm her, and he could easily feel her inner emotions. 
As she was passed around everyone, and she started to be tired and cranky, he simply retrieved her and brought her to Bruce, because he knew that was her preferred spot to fall asleep. 
He kissed her on the forehead, and sure enough, she was asleep before he could pull away. Your husband put a warm hand on Duke’s head, a warm smile on his face. That boy could always tell what others felt. It was a gift, really, and sometimes a curse as others’ feelings could leak into him. Which is to say that sometimes, when others were sad, he would be too...
But for now, he felt content. At peace. Because his dad was, too. 
And indeed, Bruce, holding his sleeping daughter against his heart, his hand supporting her head gently, was utterly at peace. 
He loved the idea that his arms were his daughter’s favorite place to sleep, and never refused to hold her to help her sleep. You sure were a little jealous, but he told you : “They all always come to you when they need comfort, one kid out of six, you surely can give me, right ?” and though you knew he was joking, it broke your heart a little. 
So, you let go of your jealousy, and let him have this indeed. Martha was definitely a daddy’s girl. And that was good. You could see the impact on your husband, how having a baby in the house soothed him. 
He loved his kids so damn much. He often said they were his lights. And the fact Martha found comfort with him ? 
It reminded him of his own parents. How he would go to his mom, a Martha too, to find the same comfort. To fall asleep in the same way. 
You let go of that small jealousy, as you saw her falling soundly asleep, cuddled up against her dad. And it was funny, how Bruce would take his usual Batman persona, stone faced, standing straight and- 
Having one of two fingers held tightly by both of his daughter’s little hands. She grabbed them as he took her, one hand holding her (she was so tiny...and he was a big dude), the other, she used as a sort of comfort plushy. She held them with all her might, as she slept. 
And Bruce was speaking battle plans, and you had to fight the laughter in you as all your friends couldn’t help but stare at the scene, not knowing how to feel. 
Hal snickered at one point, and he made a gesture for him to zip it, and it was quite an odd scene, as he held his daughter and did that childish gesture. 
Seriously. That guy !! 
************
Batman smiling was...different. 
They all got caught staring at him, when he had his daughter in his arms. Staring because his broad smile was-
Well. Broad. 
It wasn’t his signature smirk. It wasn’t a soft smile. It wasn’t a half-smile. It wasn’t a smile that you could only see in his eyes. 
It was a full on big ass smile (as Barry would say). 
And sure, they already saw him smile like that (although he schooled his face back to “stone mode” when he noticed them looking), never that much. 
As if the birth of his daughter gave Batman another new light, and it was just impossible to yield to his old demon, to brood, when holding that ray of sunshine. 
It made them all feel...soft. And warm. 
It was nice, to know the bat wasn’t just a machine. They forgot it sometimes, that he was, in the end, “just” a man. They forgot why he became Batman. The pain and guilt he held inside. But moments like this, they were reminded of it. 
That the Batman didn’t exist because of hatred, but because of love. 
Because he loved his parents, his city, and now- 
His family. 
It was nice, to get reminded that there was a man below the mask. And though he could be an “a-hole” sometimes, there, holding his baby, he was just that. 
A loving man, who wanted to protect others. 
************
You made a note of every moments you would cherish forever of you introducing your daughters to them all : 
1. The shock on their faces as they beheld the sight of THE BATMAN holding a baby against him, and being so delicate. 
2. Your daughter being the star of the show, all of them smitten with her !
3. Your friends wanting to hold her, and how they beamed at her (and she beamed back, except with Barry, whom she only stared at for some reasons). 
4. Dick’s “game” of pretending he dropped her, and their panicked reaction. 
5. The success of Tim’s baby carrier, and how now, there was always one up in the tower. 
6. Diana and how it definitely seemed like she would move mountain for that child. 
7. How Clark’s eyes filled with tears again, as he looked at Martha. Because it made his friends so happy. You and Bruce. And especially Bruce. And Clark was an emotional man, who suffered too, and was just so happy “The Batman” was happy. 
8. How Jason seemed at peace with his little sister, and how whenever he held her, he seemed less weary than usual around everyone. Like Cass, he didn’t like much being amongst too many people. But now, it felt like he had an “emotional support baby”. Ah. 
9. Their reactions, past the shock, welcoming that new life in the world. 
10. How Bruce monitored his daughter being held by his friends, holding your hand. Even after all those years, when he acted close to you in his Batman costume, it made you...feel things. He always kept a facade as Batman. A facade that would crumble with his kids, and especially with you. PDA weren’t rare. And even after years at his side, it always made your heart beat wildly when he showed affection towards you in public, because it meant- 
Oh it meant so much. 
And you had so many more moments forever ingrained in your heart from that day spend up at the JLA’s headquarters. 
Too many to count. Some sweet, some hilarious- 
All positive feelings. 
And as you and your family stepped back in the zeta tubes, your friends saying “byyyyye” to Martha especially, with their baby voice (making Bruce roll his eyes), and as she waved at them- 
Waved for the FIRST TIME ever oh. 
Oh it felt like you would die of happiness. 
And still, Bruce’s hands held yours tightly. 
He knew. 
He knew, you were the source of this happiness he thought he could never find again. 
He knew. 
He never loved like that before. 
Yes. It felt like you could just die of happiness.
__________________________________________________
And here we are. I hope you enjoyed this. Don’t hesitate to comment and/or reblog, it’s always greatly appreciated :). 
Also, initially, the child was going to be Thomas (their son in my “main” storyline, if you already read a few works from me), but last minute, I was like : “wait no, I want to give Bruce a daughter, and the boys a sister. Also, poor Cass eh ?” and here we are. I really hope you liked this; I’m nervous for some reasons. Anyway. See you soon with another one ? 
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sa2sugu · 22 days ago
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....hi everyone......... i know that some of you already know about this but i have a bl comic that is currently being published on lezhin. it's called "ìČ˜ìŒì˜ ì—ŹëŠ„" or "a first of summers". it's explicit and i'd be really happy if anyone who is interested in this type of thing or my art gives it a read.
you can read the english version at: https://www.lezhinus.com/en/comic/first_summer
(or the korean version here if you're into that): https://lezhin.com/ko/comic/first_of_summers
you can also follow me on twitter: https://x.com/pppanghouse
i have gotten many messages asking me if i was the one behind a first of summers (because apparently my art style is very recognizable i can't hide from you guys!!), and i've been ignoring them for months (sorry, everyone) because i was never fully proud of the work that i was putting out there. i still don't think i am at a point where i can confidently promote my work like a normal person would because me and shame are like this -> đŸ«‚. but i am working on getting better at managing my shame and making this post is a step towards that goal. in a way, i felt more reluctant to post about it here because i see the connections i've made on tumblr as real tangible friendships rather than parasocial ones so it's even more embarrassing.
as a lover of yaoi, slice of life and queer media, i tried to make something that i personally would like to read, in an art style that i would have found inspirational when i started digital art. here are some panels that i am kind of proud of ahh hee hee
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to be honest it feels very very weird to "make a story" and "share it with people", because i've never done something like this before and having to offer my personal themes and internal symbols to people in the hopes that some of you may resonate with them feels like i'm running down the street with my whole ass out in the open. idk how people do this.
also, i know a lot of you consume media illegally and i know that i alone can't stop you from doing that. which is why i'm all the more thankful to anyone who chooses to support me by buying the chapters on the official websites. i'm slowly learning that this (working on stories and drawing) might be something i want to keep doing and get better at, so i'm so deeply grateful to those who make that possible for me by supporting me financially. it always feels super nice when people show appreciation for my art and recommend it to other people and talk about it.
anyways, so that's me. i have a lot more to say but this post has already gotten long enough, and none of it includes any information on what the comic is about lol so here's a short synopsis: hyeonseon is a 40yo divorced salaryman who, after having a bit of a midlife crisis about where he is at in life, decides to learn electric guitar. his teacher, yeoreum (which means summer) is a 24yo college student who is also having a bit of a crisis of his own aaaand falls for the older dude. uhhhh and as i said it's explicit they are fucking it oppa homo style, and it does deal with themes related to age gaps but please don't come for meeeee!!!!!!!! i tried to make it tasteful and chose to work with age gaps because i had something to say about the concept of adulthood/life, also i enjoy a dude who's a little old getting dicked down by a younger lad what do you want me to say, damn......
if you have any nice things to say about my work then weeheee please go ahead, thank you
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5sospenguinqueen · 5 months ago
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WAG In Training - Franco Colapinto x Reader
Summary: When your boyfriend makes the leap from F2 to F1, you never expected for fans to show so much interest in you. However, they seem to enjoy that your comments are
 less than professional
Warnings: Suggestive comments
Requested: Yes by anon
F1 Masterlist
━━━━ àŒ»đ–„žàŒș ━━━━
f1 just posted
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liked by jensonbutton, officialmpmotorsport and others
f1 starting in monza, franco colapinto will be racing in williams for the remainder of the 2024 season
12,074 comments
williamsracing welcome to the team
alex_albon bienvenida, franco
francolapinto so excited for this opportunity 
→ user1 he’s so polite
→ user2 just wait
user3 he looks like disney prince
user4 not surprised he got the seat. look at those big beautiful eyes. i bet james was like "whatever you say, handsome"
user5 hand veins! 
its_yn so proud of you baby! we’ll have to celebrate later
→ francolapinto i can think of a few ways 
→ its_yn as long as it ends with those fireproofs on the floor 
→ user6 who is this?
→ user7 his girlfriend, and has been since before he was in f2 so don’t start 
→ user8 omg her instagram is so cute. all the pics of her and franco 
its_yn just posted
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liked by williamsracing, lilymhe and others
its_yn i heard f1 drivers get the best head. @/francolapinto want to test that theory?
6,389 comments
francolapinto but i already know i get the best. i am always happy to prove it though
→ williamsracing add this to the list of things you can no longer say online
→ its_yn that’s becoming a very long list
user9 she’s an icon, she’s a legend, she is the moment
user10 i never knew how much i needed y/n in my life until right now 
user11 i hope williams never pr train her because she is hilarious 
lilymhe i can’t wait to meet you 
→ its_yn me too! you’ve definitely been my favourite thing about williams so far
→ alex_albon rude
alexandrasaintmleux i like the shade of lipstick
→ its_yn i’ll let you borrow it
user12 y/n and franco are going to take off ten years from james vowels’ lifespan
user13 i love how cute her aesthetic is but then you read her captions
yourfriend uh oh, they’ve found you, y/n. you better delete your old tweets
→ user14 too late. we already have screenshots 
user15 this is unhinged and i love it. is she like this all the time?
→ dennis_hauger yes. and i’m glad she’s gone
→ its_yn oi
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williamsracing just posted
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liked by alex_albon, francolapinto and others
williamsracing first post-quali interview in f1 completed
10,998 comments
francolapinto something i have been looking forward to 
→ user1 yeah, hun, we know
→ user2 the interviewer definitely knows
user3 okay but the pouty lip in the last slide? talk about kissable
→ user4 i’d like to nibble on them liked by its_yn
→ user5 i love that instead of disliking all these comments, y/n just joins in
user6 his face in the second slide when he realised y/n was watching him flirt with older women
user7 y/n is stronger than me because if my man was rizzing up all the interviewers, i would throw myself in front of a moving f1 car 
→ francolapinto she’s fine. she gets her own back by flirting with jenson whenever she sees him
→ its_yn it’s not my fault he’s so scrummy
→ jensonbutton thank you, y/n
user8 okay but i love how secure they are in their relationship. she only jokingly told him off and they kissed straight after 
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fc43 just posted
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liked by user9, its_yn and others
fc43 i wonder what else is thick
4,044 comments
its_yn i can already feel the bruises on my cervix 
→ user9 !!! 
→ user10 out of pocket
user11 i love that she’s even interacting with a fan page
→ user12 aha she’s everywhere 
user13 do you think he’s into choking? liked by its_yn
→ user13 omg she confirmed
→ user14 yes but in which way? he likes to be choked? she likes to be choked? both?? liked by its_yn
user15 his neck looks so biteable  liked by its_yn
user16 (s)creaming
franco43stan just posted
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liked by user1, its_yn and others
franco43stan i’d like to report these photos. they made my 85yr old grandmother have palpitations
11,437 comments
its_yn gnawing at the bars of my enclosure
its_yn actually salivating
its_yn yes, i’ve licked those abs. yes, i’ve done so when they were sweaty 
→ williamsracing we knew we’d find you here
→ user1 oop she’s been caught. they’re going to take her away from us
user2 y/n stronger than me letting her man post videos with a slutty 2 second shot of his stomach
→ user3 girl likes watching us thirst over him
→ user4 makes her feel validated about her horniness
→ its_yn at the end of the day, ladies, i’m the one who gets to touch 
user5 imagine that chain swinging against your back
→ its_yn been there, done that
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francolapinto just posted
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francolapinto my girl
11,437 comments
alex_albon okay, this was sorta sweet if i ignore what these photos undoubtedly lead to 
→ lilymhe you never show photos like this of me
→ alex_albon those are only for my eyes! plus, i have been trained properly 
user6 franco saw that everyone loved y/n for being unhinged and decided to let everyone know that he is also down bad
its_yn why would you post these when you’re all the way in america and can’t do anything about the ache you’ve created! 
→ francolapinto calling you. now. 
→ user7 doesn’t he have quali in 40 mins?
→ user8 phone sex is more important 
williamsracing why do you give us hope that this will be a normal post
 and then we scroll? and then we read the comments
user9 i only look at franco’s posts to see y/n’s comments
user10 even if franco doesn’t have a seat for next year, y/n will forever be famous as my #1 wag
user11 y/n and franco mean so much to me. we can’t lose them next year 
user12 franco is cute and all but y/n đŸ„”
user13 can franco fight?
→ francolapinto he will try 
its_yn if i’d have known we’d get this much attention, i’d have convinced franco to stay in f2
→ francolapinto do not lie. you were so happy for me that you cried
→ its_yn no, that was from how good the celebration sex was
→ francolapinto some of our best work tbf  
williamsracing just posted
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liked by jensonbutton, f1 and others
williamsracing couple’s day out? no! couple’s pr training! 
14,880 comments
f1 heartbroken 
jensonbutton finally 
user1 poor james looks like he’s heard things he never wanted to
user2 aha james has been through the trenches 
redbullracing don’t try to silence them
alpinef1team no! let them let their freak flags fly 
user3 james fighting for his life with these two
→ user4 and all the teams opposing him
user5 did they put franco in time out?
→ francolapinto yes :(
user6 just fell to my knees in walmart 
user7 noooo they got to my emotional support couple
user8 y/n looks like she’s had an amazing day
→ its_yn i did! i learnt so much
→ user9 are you going to listen to any of it
→ its_yn no :)
→ francolapinto we’re here for a fun time, not a long time 
→ user10 ^^ franco trying to convince y/n to have sex in his driver’s room liked by its_yn and francolapinto
━━━━ àŒ»đ–„žàŒș ━━━━
requests open
coming up; liam lawson x ferrari admin including cars references
max verstappen part 2 to taste
charles leclerc x sainz reader
tag list
@peachiicherries @rosecentury @c-losur3 @heavy-vettel @evie-119 @raizelchrysanderoctavius @lilorose25 @sillyfreakfanparty @iloveyou3000morgan
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lizardho · 21 days ago
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The Halloween Story
As with most of my life stories, I have to clarify beforehand: Yes, this is real, and it is real because (and ONLY because) I am stupid. This is not something that happens to normal people because they wouldn't ever get close enough to a situation like this for it to happen. That being said, without estrogen my brain's "keep this idiot alive" switch was not turned on and I was, I think, biologically incapable of making good decisions.
Another thing to know is that I did not have a lot of friends as a kid because I'm terminally awkward; additionally, most of the friends I did have were maybe better described as "people who tolerated me but who I would take a bullet for." This is important for later.
Anyways, I was like 9 or 10 when this happened, and my littlest brother was like...5 or 6? This was his first Halloween where he was allowed to Trick-or-Treat past the end of our block, and he HAD to be accompanied by me or another older kid so he had begged me for DAYS to take him. And while I held the title of oldest brother, I feel like I put my whole pussy into being a good oldest brother, so I of course took the family's babiest of babies for his first ever trick-or-treat adventure!
I went dressed as Dartanian because I've been gay for a while, and he went dressed as a skeleton because he's adorable. We went trick-or-treating only in areas I knew, so mostly within the boundaries of our l'il Mormon ward, and we had fun. About a half-mile away from home, he started saying he was getting tired, so I told him we were gonna turn back and watch "Scary" movies, which was actually just two old VHS Scooby Doo episodes my mom let us watch because she only let us watch episodes where the monsters were fake because if they were real we'd get nightmares. So we start walking back. It's not too far and we know the way so it's going great. Littlest bro's first trick-or-treat adventure went swimmingly, we've got pillow cases full of candy, and we're about to watch scooby doo and eat skittles until we pass out. Life, for us, literally could not have been better.
BUT
As I walk around the corner of my old street, the far end of it, by a bush, I hear my best friend whisper-shout at me from a bush:
"Lizard, Lizard, stop, hide, quick!"
In most cases, my thoughts can be summarized by a humble: "Bwuh?" and in this case I'm pretty sure I said something like that out loud. I look into the bush, and I see it is JAM-FUCKING-PACKED with kids my age. Like 6 of them hiding behind this tall oleander bush shaking like they just saw a ghost. I wave to them, because I don't know what's going on, and tell them that Littlest Brother is tired so I'm going home. That's when one of them angrily grabbed me and littlest brother and tugged us into the oleander with them.
I think they thought we were hidden, but this was one shrub currently occupied by like 7 kids and despite how small we all were that was still more shrub-per-kid than the shrub could hide so me and littlest brother didn't actually fit. And I was squirming trying to get away because it was poky and scratchy and smelled bad and also I didn't know why I was being pulled into a shrub to begin with.
The ruckus of my squirming was freaking my friends out, who were all telling me to shut up and hide, and I was telling them I wasn't playing hide-n-seek and Littlest Brother was REALLY getting tuckered out so PLEASE let go so I can go home, when around the corner came three Big Kids on bikes.
These kids seemed HUGE and SCARY to me at the time, although realistically they were like in 8th grade and also dork-ass losers. They were on bikes with handlebar breaks, though, and they were wearing costumes ironically under hoodies, so they seemed scary at the time. They see me thrashing in a bush and correctly deduced that the kids they had been hunting down were in the bush too. This is when I learned that my friends were all scared because they'd been being hunted for sport by older boys. Like, actually, for real, we were being bullied on Halloween by kids who called us "dweebs" and shit, I cannot explain how that was actually happening in the early 2000s, that was a worn-out trope in the 80s, but it for real, actually, swearsy-realsies, happened to me.
They're bigger than us and have at least started puberty so they're a lot stronger than us. They fished us all out of the bush pretty easily and made us all line up. This was all happening on a well-lit suburban street in a Mostly Mormon neighborhood so again, I don't know how it all got this far, but it did.
Once we were lined up, they start quipping about our costumes and harassing us a little bit. Again, this is like STRAIGHT out of a shitty campy overdone 80s sitcom so I get that this sounds fake, but we were literally getting pushed around and called dweebs and nerds by some fuckass 8th graders who were all smoking a cigarette one of them stole from their mom. Finally they were getting bored so they told us that their terms to releasing us were that we give them our candy.
My friends, who are smart and wanted to be alive, immediately started grabbing fistfuls of candy from their buckets or bags to hand them. But I am stupid, and was trying to be a good older brother, and didn't understand the concept of mortality because HRT had not yet flipped that switch in my brain, and I saw littlest brother getting scared. His lips were trembling like he was about to cry, he was clinging onto me for dear life, and one of these kids comes over and is being all mean and calling him a baby (which he basically was, so like what even is the point?) and I got mad. So I took my prop rapier from it's sheath and started jabbing his ribs and head until he rips it out of my hand.
"Jesus Christ, you little faggot. I'm keeping this, you're not getting your sword back."
"K, fine, just leave my brother alone."
"I leave him alone if you give me ALL your candy."
He says it with this shit-eating grin, like he's got the upper hand. But I'm mad and suicidal in the same way a horse is suicidal, which is to say I don't care if I die as long as this fucker dies too, so I tell him if he wants my candy he can have it, and I wallop him with the candy sack. Hard. I put all 70 lbs of 9-year-old rage into that whump, and to my credit it caught him off guard. He steps back and rubs his face and the biggest kid in the group steps into his place.
"You wanna fight?" He's trying to act tough but he's also trying to square up with an unquestionably faggy 9-year-old Dartanian so it's tough. It's also a stupid, stupid question to ask, since I literally DID want to fight and he was just posturing.
So I hit him too. Again, all the rage my 9-year-old body possessed channeled into a pillow case filled with Dum Dums and skittles slaps into his face. I move to smack him again, because he's looking at me all incredulous like he doesn't think I'm serious. He tries to grab the bag but I kick his shin and he has to step back for a second because he was on his bike with only one leg on the ground and I had just kicked it so he was trying to keep balance. I took advantage of the momentary distraction and whapped him in the belly. That, I think, was the final straw for him, because he (seriously, yes, for real) took out an actual knife.
It was a real folding knife, I could hear the little mechanical click as he flicked the blade out and the locking mechanism secured it in place. He looks at me with murderous intent for like a tenth of a second before one of my other friends asks,
"Dude, are you serious?"
And it clicks that he just threatened someone with a real weapon. He takes a step back and tells me, trying to sound brave but now far enough out of his own comfort zone that he's starting to wonder what happened in his life to bring him here (which is dangerous, confused people do confusing shit).
But I'm horse-style suicidal and I honestly didn't think it was real, so I swing at him again. Full-body swing right for the face, and he slashes at the candy pouch and it tears. And I'm like "Oh shit, that's a real knife!" and he's like, "Oh shit, this kid is gonna beat me until I stab her or run!'' And that's when my Knight-in-Emo-Armor arrived!
The kid was like the archetypal "Bad Boy" of my childhood. He wore black hoodies to church and said "damn" instead of "dang" and "shit" instead of "shoot." He listened to metal music and told his grandma (who adopted him after his mom lost custody for drug use stuff) to shut up sometimes. He smoked. He was a moody goth/emo/scene/whatever enigma of rage from his shitty family life. He was also known for being actually real-life dangerous. The kid in front of me was contemplating stabbing me, but my Knight had actually broken someone's jaw in a fight before.
The whole time we were getting held up, he was just walking down the street listening to an honest-to-God MP3 player, stoned as all hell, angry at the world, and watching this all unfold. And he recognized a bunch of kids from church he barely gave a shit about, but then he recognized *me* and although he didn't know *me* super well, he fucking LOVED my dad because my dad was super nice to him at church, and he knew I was my dad's kid. And he knows the kids talking to us are bad news because he's friends with some of their friends and he knows they're all wannabe tough guys. And he makes a decision.
This guy, my knight, was tall, mean, scary, and crabby, and EVERYONE knew that, not just the Mormons in my life. And in all black, with black hair and black nail polish, he had remained almost perfectly hidden as he walked in the middle of the road on the tar-black Arizona asphalt until he suddenly emerged from the shadows right behind the kid with the knife.
"Bruh, what the fuck are you doing?"
This kid whips around and sees my knight and just blanches. Like, all-the-way white-as-a-sheet scared.
"Oh, Knight, h-h-hey, I didn't see you. You know these kids? We're just teasing them!"
"Hilarious joke, cocksucker. That's a real knife. Fuck off."
They almost left a cartoon dust cloud in the shape of their bodies as they left. My friend and "friends" from church all followed suit - Knightboy was BAD news with a capital B-A-D and they were probably more scared of him than the original trio. But I knew Knightboy because he teased me a lot in his last year elementary school and sometimes came over to talk with my dad so I knew he wasn't a bad kid. He bends down and picks up the plastic sword the first kid dropped and gives it back to me.
"This is yours, I think."
I took it, sheathed it, and said, "Thanks! You shouldn't swear."
"Man, I'm too stoned for this shit, just get out of here."
"Ok, thanks Knight! See you at church tomorrow!"
And I toddle off with Littlest Brother. I take him to some of the best houses on our street for a second round of trick-or-treating so he can calm down, and we go home. My mom puts Scooby Doo on and asks me how everything went - I tell her it was fine, it was fun. She said that Littlest Brother said something scary happened, and I said "Oh, I think he got spooked by Knight is all." And she just shrugged and walked off. By the end of the night, I honestly forgot it even happened. I was more invested in trying to figure out how to grow up to be like Velma and lining my skittles up by color so I fully did not even remember.
BUT.
My mom is friends with all the other moms at church - she has to be because she has a master's degree in a church that teaches that employed women are failing God and their families so she ended up as a high-achieving woman working as a stay-at-home mom and if she didn't make friends at church she would fully go insane.
And at church the next day, my mom is approached by a tiny pack of mothers all saying "Wow, Lizard is so brave, aren't you so proud of her?"
And because she's a Good Mom who Loves Me So Much, she says, "Yeah, totally, why do you ask?"
And they say, "Because she tried to fight off some muggers last night! She hit them with her candy bag!"
And my mom says, "Haha, Yeah, she's fierc-wait what in the fresh hell did you say?"
And they all tell her the story, and my mom is PISSED that I didn't mention, but she also knows I am capital-D Dumb, so she pulls me out of Sunday school and asks me,
"Lizard, baby, did you scare off some muggers last night?"
And I said, "Oh yeah, kinda! Knight was the one that actually scared them though."
And she says, "Lizard, baby, why did you not tell me?"
And I said, "Oh, I forgot."
And she just nodded and tried unsuccessfully to push my little "Alfalfa sprout" strand of hair down, and gave up, and then pushed me back into class. And later that day she made like 3 lbs of chocolate chip cookies and drove them all over to Knight's house to thank him. And basically ever since then I was in Knight-in-shining-armor's good books (although he wasn't very good at showing it for a bit), and I had an undeserved reputation among the kids in my church as a badass for like a year, which I felt pretty good about.
Anyways, the Halloween Story is so weird that sometimes I question my own memory of it, but I am telling it now based on my memory as best as I can recall and after fact-checking it with my mom a few times.
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just-some-random-blogger · 6 months ago
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Tormented Spirit | 1
Part 2
"Is it such a sin to stand up for yourself?" you mutter as tears blur your vision. The way he reacted was visceral, instinctive even. "You never have to stand up for yourself ever again," says Daemon, reaching a hand to you, "come."
Daemon Targaryen x Hightower!Reader | 4k+ | cw: fem!reader, reader has brown hair, wife!reader, twin!Gwayne, arranged/forced marriage, canon divergence, alternate universe, eventual smut, DD:DNE, panic/anxiety attacks, daddy issues/child abuse/family problems, mentions/depictions of mental/physical/psychosomatic illness, mentions/depictions of death/suicidal ideation, ye old misogyny, angst, typos, etc.
A/N: i nearly decided on nuking this because it feels so fucking bad and aimless guess in the end I'M really the tormented spirit huh anyway if I'm glad i didnt and decided to wait it out. if you enjoy this please think of leaving a comment and/or reblog because i need the reassurance. | cross posted on ao3
Tagging: @arabellasleopardcoat
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"Father," Alicent pleads, "she needs to see you."
Otto's jaw clenches as he lifts his gaze from his desk. He looks upon his youngest child's features. You were one in the same, his first daughter and last. He thanks the gods that she did not inherit the curse you bear.
Alicent picks at her fingers while awaiting a response. Though she draws blood, no sound leaves her lips. She did not know it, but her father catches this anxious tick. He mentally corrects himself: at least she did not inherit it at equal intensity.
"A man has no place in the dressing room of a bride-to-be," the Lord Hand dismisses.
Alicent knew about as much would be said, yet she still tries, "please. She is having a-"
"And when has my presence ever soothed her?" Otto interrupts, raising his voice to make his point clear.
It was enough. Alicent understood.
He turns back to his papers. He reads them but none of the words register. He says, "I am sure your brother is already there, coddling her as he does."
Alicent does not respond.
Otto lifts his gaze, "go," he speaks as though his daughter missed the obvious, "if she needs someone so badly, coddle her with Gwayne."
Alicent returns to your chambers. Her heart pinched in every which way at the sight of you. Here you stood, clothed in one of the few precious dresses that belonged to your mother— a bride. Dark blue satin and gold jewelry embellished your form. Your brown hair was curled and plaited and pinned. Your face had a glow, only because it was stained with tears. It was terrible and magnificent all at once.
Rhaenyra goes to her best friend, and the two girls clutched hands before walking towards you. Gwayne spots them and gives your hands a tight squeeze. Because of this, you turn from your older brother to your younger sister. Your eyes are pink with melancholy.
"Lord Hand," Alicent mutters, "is deep in his work."
On his daughter's wedding day, thinks Gwayne.
Rhaenyra clenches her jaw, loathing your father more than normal in this moment.
More than your own, you cannot stomach your sister's duress. You stroke her cheek, "I am well now. Worry no more."
Alicent catches Gwayne's expression and knows that is a lie. Still, she smiles and nods, "I am glad," she looks you once over, "you are an exquisite bride, sister."
Rhaenyra offers a smile, "I agree, dear aunt."
Your face twists at the young princess's words, though you knew she meant well. You will away the dreadful sensation in your stomach and manage a smile, "thank you... sweet niece."
You relish their company for as long as you can in this moment. You gather strength from Rhaenyra's smile, from Alicent's touch, and Gwayne's words. Then, all at once, you were alone, walking towards Daemon Targaryen.
In truth, he was not curious of you. He despised you, for after all, you were the spawn of that Cunttower. But, gods, what could possibly be the reason you were taking so long to walk down the aisle? It was not like this room was that big. And so, he turns over his shoulder to inspect you. His hand remains on Dark Sister and his weight still rested mostly on one leg.
He squints at the sight of you, moving like a snail. He is about to roll his eyes, but then he catches a glimpse of your countenance.
Tis strange.
You were not nearly as repulsive as he remembered you, and not nearly as similar in likeness to your rotten twin. How could that be, when it was not only- what, a season since he had pummeled Ser Cuntface to the ground? He will never forget your screaming face in the audience, and how deliciously distressed your father had been from hauling you away.
Even now, as Daemon's lilac eyes appraised your distant silhouette, gliding towards him like a phantom intent on haunting, he second guessed if that weeping woman from the tourney was you. But then he turned to your brother and saw his jaw harden. It was unmistakable then you were the weeping woman, and now, you were his weeping bride.
Gwayne, could not help the way his hands tightened into a fist as he helplessly watched you inch towards his most ardent foe. Beside him, unmoving, stood the very man who allowed such madness to ensue: your father.
You pass the pew that seated your family. Your twin's expression softens. He nods, and you know he means take heart. Your sister does the same. But your father, who stood between his children, does not spare you a glance.
Daemon notices the coldness. He would feel bad, but then again, he has been proclaiming his ill-guided brother's Lord Hand was the biggest cunt in the realm for so long, so he doesn't. Oh, but then you look at him with those beady eyes, and he did not know why his thorax felt uneasy.
Twas strange indeed.
Soon you stood in front of your promised, and, finally, Otto lays his eyes upon you. He does not see you though. He does not see the woman dressed in the garments that once belonged to his wife. He does not see your trembling hand and glassy cheeks. He sees his timid, tremoring, little daughter that he had to leave a moon's length for work. He sees her frail body that shook on her tiny bed and found no comfort in the way he held her tiny hand when he returned.
As the septon begins this damning rite, all he could hear was the voice of the maester that promised the new medicine he procured would heal his girl. As tears rolled down your eyes, he remembers how he nearly killed the maester for feeding you herbs that caused you to retch the little food you had eaten.
Has my child not suffered enough?
Has my child not suffered enough?
ᎎⁱ˹ á¶œÊ°â±ËĄá”ˆ ⁱ˹ á”á”ƒÊłÊłÊžâ±âżá” ᔃ á”á”’âżËąá”—á”‰Êł
Daemon turns to the pew beside the Hightowers' and finds his brother's face. Viserys seemed pleased to witness this wretched affair, as did Aemma, who clutched her pregnant belly. Rhaenyra beside her seemed more interested in you however, or at least the dress that she and Alicent helped dressed you in.
The septon blabbers and tells you both to speak your vows. You do, one as reluctant as the other. Then, as instructed, Daemon cloaks you and presses a kiss on your salty lips.
Twas bittersweet. On one hand, as he takes your clammy one, the image of Otto's face when Daemon told the King that he wanted to marry you comes to mind.
Oh, how excited he was to see the old fool look as though he was a breath away from lunging at him across the table, and how utterly horrendous that he hadn't. He would have simply, and justifiably, killed him. Then all this bother would not have ensued. The look upon the said man's face this moment, now that he's sullied what he so dearly protected, made his stomach giddy.
As the same time, as he held that same clammy hand of yours and felt it tremble, he remembers that you and he were bound. Though not in the manner of his house, he knew he could escape only so much of his wretched duties. Otto's vexation would only last so long, and deep down the cunt must enjoy that his daughter was now a princess. He knew soon Viserys would also begin nagging him again.
But then out of nowhere, he laughs. It was so abrupt that a few guests looked at him in confusion.
How could he forget? There was the matter of your... affliction. Perhaps he can frighten you to death on your wedding bed.
He chuckles once more.
The idea is so delicious, he is in good spirits the whole wedding feast. He does nothing but embarrass and shame you by entertaining literally every other lady save yourself.
What makes matters worse, at least on your end, is that your father refuses to go to your side and forbids not only your brother but as well as your sister from leaving their spots to come to your aid. There was no need to make the matter bigger than it was. You are left alone at your seat at the table, looking nothing but pathetic and weepy.
You sustain such temperament until you're in your marriage chambers, but then you do a funny thing and down two glasses of wine. Daemon laughs at how it spills from your lips, down your neck.
He, who had already much more than a measly two cups, comes behind you and takes the one you loudly prop on the table. You squeak and bolt away when Daemon's arm sneaks up from underneath your own; it only further amuses him.
"V'you a change of heart?" he pours himself a glass, "ready for debauchery, yes?"
You turn unbelievably pale, and it merits the fondest of laughs from your sadistic groom. Daemon drinks and licks the wine off his lips.
You gulp, reaching out a trembling hand.
He raises a brow at it. Suddenly, he's annoyed— twice was much because he has absolutely no idea what the gesture means.
That is, until you speak, "may I have some more?"
One of his faint silver brows raises. Suddenly, he is greedy with the wine he thought tasted too sour on his tongue. However, a curiosity within him urged to hand over the cheap drink, for why did his shivering wife have the nerve for this to be her first words to him?
He watched you throw your head back as you down the wine just as quick as you did the previous ones. He chuckles and crosses his arms. When you turn to Daemon, he tilts his head, "thirsty?"
You inhale deeply, though it is strangled, "for my anxiousness."
It takes a moment for him to realize what you mean, and when he does, his nostrils flare. Had he breathed fire, surely smoke would have come out his nose at this moment. Daemon releases an airy, unamused chuckle and averts his gaze, "eager to bed me, harlot?"
Your throat tightens, for that was not what you meant at all.
You forcibly swallow a lump that forms when he comes to your side. Your throat only further constricts when he grabs and yanks you into his chest. You whimper as he presses his nose against your ear. Goosebumps form when his hot breath hits your ear, "on the bed then."
Your heart thunders as he shoves you towards the bed. You nearly miss it. Actually, only your head and arms touch the cushion, and the rest of your body collides with the floor and the hard bed frame. Your tailbone throbs at the impact, but it doesn't hurt nearly as much as your chest that tightened, and tightened, and tightened and—
You barely manage to gasp. You are hard of breathing when Daemon crouches and grabs your thighs, pulling your skirts up. He feels your flesh tremble beneath his palm. His fingers touch your skin, and it brings him to hiss; you are ice against his burning hands.
He looks up at you. A line forms between his brows. You gasped for air that seemed unwilling to enter your lungs. Not only was your face stained with tears, but as well as your neck now
He mutters, "nyke pendagon jaelā naejot sagon ipradāri," I thought you wanted to get eaten, "I do so find fear delectable."
You continue to slump into the floor until you're a melted mess. You can do nothing but clutch your chest, not that it helps one bit.
Daemon is satisfied at this point. He stands and dusts his hands off. He looks at the pitiful Hightower, your dark locks spilled on the ground as if blood from a crime scene.
"Is that your affliction then, wife?" he tilts his head, "do you seize up when you're nervous?"
You look at him, but do not respond.
"S'rather inconvenient, no?" he sighs, as though he actually cared.
You shut your eyes and curl into a ball.
"Mmm, well, I suppose I will have to claim the womanhood owed of me some other time," he said, uninterested. With that, he exits the room with a skip in his step, pleased to know he had such a tremendous effect on you.
You remain in this turmoil for what felt like hours.
By the time you peel yourself up from the floor, your body is encased in sweat. You command yourself to calm; you cannot afford to slip into another bout of insanity. Your tears cannot be contained as you struggle to undo the ties of your dress; at least tremendous relief comes after you do. You struggle to your feet and remove the pins in your hair while making for the vanity table.
You sit before yourself; your horrid face reflects on the mirror that was far too clear for your liking. As you free your hair from its bounds, you think, perhaps it was fortunate that your husband did not lay with you. At least not tonight.
But then, comes to mind, the argument you with your father. Your chest threatens to tighten again as the severity of his voice replays in your head.
It was no secret, Otto despised Daemon. How then could he be so shocked at your horror of learning he had approved your marriage to him. His raging voice still rings in your head: "you ungrateful fool!"
You fall apart in your palms and nearly succumb to yourself again. Thankfully, you manage to take deep breaths and pick yourself up before you fall apart.
You always knew you were the spare in your father's eyes, but you thought that merited indifference. You did not think he hated you so deeply. How could anyone hand their child to their enemy? Perhaps this was his way of finally having use of you.
A spare. A pawn. Will it ever end?
You go to bed and wrap yourself tightly under the sheets. You stare at the ceiling, praying the same prayer you've prayed since you were eight: Seven, let this be my final slumber.
You nearly choke when you are awoken by such violent shaking. You jolt up, or at least as much as you can from the blankets you were so tightly bound in.
Daemon grins and brings the hands he had shaken you with behind his back, "I would say good morn, but it is apparently opposite to you, wife."
The name makes your skin crawl. You push yourself out of the sheets and sit up. You wipe your face and tell yourself; you must get used to this, "good morrow, husband."
Your brown curls spill down your shoulder as you sigh to yourself. Daemon thinks you look much more palatable this way, unlike yesterday, when your hair was jailed so tightly. He motions with his head, "ta. We make haste to the dragon pit."
Your eyes are suddenly devoid of any trace of sleepiness as you look at him.
His lips remain curled, "it would only be proper to do so, no?" He does not let you retort, as he is already making his way out, "tis Caraxes' right to know who his master has been shackled to," he opens the door, "at least momentarily."
If he was self-satisfied with how you shook under his grasp last night, one can only imagine his exhilaration over your severe disinterest in meeting his mount this morning. What's more, Caraxes could smell your anxiety, and it made him chuff and snap his jaws.
Of course, Daemon chastised his dragon, telling him to obey, even though he very much did not want him to. He eagerly fantasizes: oh, a shame my bride died the day I introduced him to my ride.
A true shame.
"Calm yourself," Daemon sniggers as he forcefully pushes you towards the blood wyrm, "the harder you make this for yourself, the harder it will be."
You found no encouragement in that, for no part of it meant to encourage. You continue to writhe against him, pushing yourself back, only to be pressed against the prince's chest and urged forward. It didn't help that he shackled his hands on both of your wrists, preventing you from elbowing him away.
Though your hair was braided to the side, you still manage to whip it to Daemon's face in your attempt to free yourself, only causing him to be more impatient. You could not help the harrowing shriek that left you when he ultimately brought you to the beast's maw, and the said creature pressed himself against your chest to sniff you.
Caraxes rips away and shakes his head at your piercing reaction. He shrieks in like, as if disapproving, or showing offence. He must exact appropriate retaliation. He draws a deep breath, readying to set you ablaze. Daemon would have let him, had he not been a direct target of his mount's wrath, "keligon, Caraxes!"
Caraxes hisses.
"Keligon!" Stop!
He does not enjoy the order, exemplified by the way he licked his teeth, but obeys, nonetheless. He roars one last time, spit sputtering onto your face as he does. It's enough to make you finally lose your resolve.
You cease your wrangling and find yourself going limp in his arms. Daemon is pleased. He can finally drag you on dragon-back and torment you even more mid-air. What he did not know, however, was that your stomach was tingling; it was not that of the usual dread so familiar to you, but twas familiar still.
Daemon takes you by the arm and tries to make you climb up to the saddle, but then he stills when he hears the sound you make. He pulls away just before the acid from your stomach rushes out of your mouth. You retch so much it comes out of your nose, and you feel yourself grow lightheaded.
"Fucking gods," Daemon recoils in disgust. He turns to one of the dragon keepers and orders you away.
The dragon keeper, who looked far older than your father, spoke to you in a language you could not make out. You understand the part where he says maester as he leads you out of the pit. You manage to convey you no longer needed his assistance once you were out and walked off by yourself. You flinch and shriek when Daemon takes off on Caraxes.
You do not go to the maester's, instead, you have your servants draw you a warm bath and stay in it until it is cold. Only then do you scrub your skin until it is tender.
Once you were clean, you looked for the only person in the world that did not use your name interchangeably with hysteria: your twin.
"That uliginous blinkard," Gwayne slashes the dummy before him. You watch him pace from the bench you were sat upon. "He is incapable of procuring a morsel of dignity out of his wretched existence."
You clench you jaw when he chucks his sword to the ground.
"I should smother him in his sleep."
The thought chills you.
"But then I would be no better than he, would I not?" he seethes as he walks to your side, grabbing the towel beside you.
He wipes his face. You look up at him, a line forming between your brows, "remember you are my confidant, not my vindicator."
"If not I," he chucks his towel back beside you, "then who?" His forehead wrinkles, "an affront to my twin is worse than one to myself."
"Then you would know better than anyone that I share your sentiment," you grab his arm, hoping to calm him down.
His face is hard. He pushes your hand away.
You sigh, "and you know well that I suffer more in circumstances where you've acted on my behalf."
He clenches his jaw. He draws a deep breath and denies the thought with the shake of his head, "father will not hold it against-"
"Father holds everything against me," your eyes instantly water, "he would not be our father if he did not."
Your twin has never spoken your name any other way but in gentleness, yet it is precisely why it chips you apart. Gwayne continues, "be it as it may, but I do not believe that he gave to the prince— certainly not willingly."
You laugh and lift your countenance to the sky. Tears fall from the corner of your eyes, down your ears and neck, "does it matter?"
"It does," he urges, "he fought for you."
"He does not fight for me," you turn back to him, "allow yourself to come to terms with it as I have. It will hurt you less."
Gwayne does not manage a response as someone else speaks in that moment. The way you both tense at the sound is that of instinct.
"You vomited in the dragon pit?"
You turn over your shoulder and shoot up from where you sat. You watch as your father walks towards you. He places a hand on your neck and looks you up and down, "did the prince jostle you so on his ride?"
His touch is like a searing rod against your skin, his eyes, even worse. The raised hairs on your neck remain even as he pulls away. You quietly retort, "I did not even touch his saddle."
"Oh," Otto raises his brows, "then perhaps your affliction is that of you carrying."
Carrying?
Both you and Gwayne are mortified by the idea. You stutter, "s-surely it is not that quick."
"The blood of the dragon runs hot," he sighs, "as he would so boldly proclaim."
Your face burns upon hearing this.
Your father looks past you, "take your sister to the maester at once."
"No, I-"
"Make sure that she is good condition and take note of what will be instructed of her."
"That is not-"
"I am sure she will be required to take further precautions because of her affli-"
"We did not!" you blurt, finally regaining the attention of your father.
Your heart races as Otto looks at you. Suddenly, you are like a deer shot by an arrow, pained and powerless. He is annoyed that you interrupted him, only to say nothing. He presses, "we did not what?"
You take a strangled breath before reply, "we... did not consummate ou-"
"You what?!" he steps forward.
Gwayne immediately takes your arm, eager to get between you two, "father-"
But Otto does the same and pulls you toward him, "you did not consummate, or you did not want to consummate your marriage?"
Gwayne's hold on you falters. Your saliva lumps in your throat, "I-"
"You do understand the consequences if you do not bear your husband heirs, correct?"
You turn to your feet, unable to hold his heated glare, "I-"
"Look at me when I speak to you," he shakes you.
You lift your eyes, and hot tears begin to rush down your face.
"You've proven your point, father," Gwayne blurts, "release her."
"Release her?" Otto redirects his ire. Though he does just that, release you, it feels as though an iron clamp around your neck replaces your father's hold. "Even if I were to release her, boy, your dearest twin sister will not be free of the truth," he turns back to you, "nor my point. Your failure to do what is necessary will lead you straight into the dragon's belly."
You clench your jaw tighter than anyone should.
"Do you understand, girl?"
You nod before you allow yourself to breathe. You blurt, "yes, my lord."
Otto looks you once over before turning and walking away. The moment he is out of sight, you fold like a deck of cards, and Gwayne must keep you upright.
He hushes you and sits you back down. He kneels in front of you, observing if you were about to collapse into another episode. You do not, for he was with you, but you do weep until tears could no longer fall. He leads you to your room after this and urges you to rest.
You repeat the prayer you prayed on your wedding night before you sleep.
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joelscurls · 1 year ago
Text
I wanna show you off
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pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader
words: 4.1k
summary: The women who live in your building aren't subtle in their hatred for you — or their affection for your boyfriend, Joel. You decide to set them straight.
warnings: 18+ minors dni, porn with plot, no outbreak, established relationship, implied age gap, horrible neighbors, general cattiness, all the ladies want Joel, alcohol consumption, fluff, explicit smut, possessive!reader, exhibitionism, dirty talk, oral (m receiving), facefucking, unprotected piv, creampie, one (1) spank, use of pet names (baby, angel, darlin', etc.), I think that's all? lmk if I missed anything!
a/n: idk what happened. I saw one too many tiktok edits set to the song agora hills by doja cat and blacked out. anyway, enjoy!
If it weren’t for your rent-controlled apartment with a perfect view of the downtown skyline, you would’ve moved out of your building by now.
Your neighbors don’t like you. You’re certain of it. You can tell by the way the ladies stick their noses up at you in the elevator and whisper to each other the second they think you’re out of earshot.
It had started, you suspect, because of your age. You’re a lot younger than all of the other residents here, your apartment left to you by your grandmother after she passed away.
The building is prime real estate, situated in the heart of one of the city’s most desirable neighborhoods. Most of the people who live here have done so for ten, twenty, even thirty years. And it seems that time has festered a sort of social hierarchy: one which places you at the very bottom.
You shouldn’t care. And you hadn’t, for a while. But their eyes have started to feel like daggers, pointed directly at you at all times, and you feel as if you can’t even enter the building without judgment.
You’re not a bad neighbor. You’re not. You’d learned through living in a dormitory in college how thin shared walls can be, and, as a result, the proper volume at which to keep your music; how you should always be cautious to not let your door slam closed on the way in; that you should never vacuum after eight pm or before eight am.
You never leave trash in the hallway, and you park your car only in your allotted spot, despite the fact that it’s the farthest away from the building.
Even so, the lack of weathering in your face makes them look at you like you’re less, like you’re a greedy little thing who has taken something she isn’t worthy of.
It’s the same way they look at you when they see you with your boyfriend, Joel, for the first time.
They leer when you walk into the foyer, hand-in-hand with an older man. He’s handsome, rugged, something out of Nicholas Sparks novel. And you’re you.
Joel thinks you’re being paranoid at first, says they couldn’t possibly hate such a sweet, friendly girl. The girl he loves so damn much. But it doesn’t take long for him to notice it too: the glares, the scoffs, the misplaced judgment — never set in his direction, only ever yours.
One Sunday afternoon, as he sits on your couch watching the Cowboys game with a sweating bottle of beer in his hand, you step out to grab your mail. You’re close to tears when you return, flinging the door open, envelopes slipping from your trembling fingers. 
He leaps up as soon as he catches sight of your face. Your expression is stuck somewhere between sadness and rage, bottom lip tucked between your teeth so firmly he worries you’ll draw blood.
“I hate them,” you sob as he wraps his arms around you, pulling you against his broad chest. You’re wetting his shirt, the one he just bought the other day. But he won’t let you lift your head. If anything, he holds you tighter.
“Wanna tell me what happened, darlin?” he asks, leading you toward the couch. You sit down together, your body still wrapped in his, and you groan.
“It’s stupid.” Your voice is muffled by cotton. He loosens his grip on you only enough to let you turn your face. “I was getting my mail, and they were down in the lobby,” you sniff. “The woman who lives right next door – the one with the outdated perm, and the one across the hall with the yippy little dog.”
“Mhm,” Joel soothes, running his thumb gently along the tense line of your jaw. “Did they say somethin’ to you?”
You huff. “No, not to me. They didn’t see me there.”
Their hushed voices still ring in your head like a fire alarm in need of new batteries: relentless, infuriating.
Don’t know what in the world a handsome gentleman like that is doing with a little girl like her. You’re tellin’ me. What a shame. Such a young thing – she can’t possibly know how to handle a man like that. He needs a woman his own age!
“They said I’m not good for you,” you weep. “That I’m too young. That I — I c-can’t be what you need.”
“Darlin,” Joel drawls. He fishes the tv remote off of the coffee table and flicks the screen off. Drops it somewhere next to him on the cushion. The apartment is noticeably quiet now, apart from your shaky breaths and the dull drone of an idling truck engine from the street below.
“You know I love you, right?” 
You sniff again. Nod. 
“I don’t give a shit if people think you’re too young for me,” he huffs. “You’re a grown woman. You give me everything I could possibly need and then some.”
“Yeah?” you squeak. You know deep down that Joel wouldn’t stay with you if he had any reservations about any aspect of your relationship. But after months of no reprieve from stinging glares and brash insults, you feel as if you’ve been broken down, reduced to an anxious, overwrought version of yourself. 
Joel repositions himself, sprawling back on the couch and pulling you with him so that you’re laying against him. “Yeah,” he repeats, stroking your hair. He tucks a loose strand behind your ear, away from your glassy eyes. “Those ladies can get their asses in line.” 
You laugh, then — a real, genuine laugh — the kind that Joel can somehow always pull out of you, even in the most inopportune of times.
You’re so grateful for him, for his innate ability to calm you down when it feels like the world is crumbling below your feet. Grateful that he’s yours.
You lift your head. Prop yourself up by the elbow on Joel’s thigh. Wipe away the lingering wet on your cheeks with a deep, settling breath. 
“Does it stroke your ego, having a fan club of women who wanna fuck you?”
He smirks. Pulls you closer to him with a hand cradling your face. 
“Maybe a little,” he whispers, his lips ghosting yours. “Does it stroke your ego, bein’ the only one who gets to fuck me?” 
And in truth, it does. You’re the only one who knows where he likes to be kissed, how he likes his cock stroked, how to make him cum embarrassingly quick with just your mouth.
You’ve learned him intimately, every inch of him.  Ruined him for any other woman.
So in a fucked up kind of way — it does.
“Yeah,” you admit. You suck his bottom lip into your mouth, silently reveling in the way he immediately moans, the way he bends to you.
“These all mine?” You bring a finger to his lips, sputter on a shaky exhale when he unexpectedly parts them and sucks the digit into his mouth.
“Mhm,” he hums around you, takes your free hand in his and guides it down his body, across the expanse of his torso, the plush of his belly, pausing when you reach his crotch. 
Your pulse quickens, then, a dull throb forming at the base of your neck. You extricate your finger from his mouth with a gentle pop.
“This too,” he whispers, canting his hips up toward the flat of your palm.
He’s half-hard, his clothed bulge pleading for attention. But he pulls your hand away quickly, not letting himself get carried away at the feeling of your fingers grazing him through denim. 
Instead, he re-situates it against his chest so that you can feel his heartbeat where it hammers under skin, against flesh and bone. “This is all yours too,” he says, voice so low it reverberates in your skull. 
“All of it — all of me. Don’t gotta worry your pretty little head with anythin’ anyone else has to say about the matter. Got it?”
His words are spoken with so much conviction that you have no choice but to believe them, to let them stick in your brain like anchors in sand: deep and immovable.
Yours, yours, yours. 
And nobody else’s.
“Yeah,” you smile into the column of his neck, inhaling his scent: mostly him, but with notes of you. 
“Got it.”
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It’s two weeks later when she makes a move on him: the woman with the perm. Joel is taken aback by her boldness, with you just a few feet away, digging your key into the lock of your mailbox. 
“You must work with your hands,” she purrs, grabbing one of his wrists and examining his calloused fingers with such little integrity, his mouth actually slips open at the unabashedness of it all. 
“Uh-”
“I’m Sheila,” she hums, raking her fingers through tight, blonde curls. “And you are?”
“Joel,” he grunts noncommittally. Wrenches his arm back. He doesn’t miss the way her eyebrows twitch in offense. 
But she’s insatiable, this woman. She bounces back like a rubber band, not-so-subtly pushing her breasts together, the zip of her sweatshirt slipping down an inch and her mouth curving into a salacious grin.
You just about stop dead in your tracks when you round the corner to the lobby, junk mail in hand, and see her, her body turned towards Joel’s, chest pushed out and hip popped. She has a bedazzled tote bag full of groceries slung over her shoulder, a head of leafy greens poking out the top.
“Hi neighbor!” she smiles mockingly at you, all lipstick-stained teeth, when you sidle up to Joel. “I was just telling your friend here what nice, strong arms he has.” She’s not looking at you, eyes locked firmly on Joel’s biceps, nearly drooling at the sight of him. 
Heat spools behind your ears, red-hot.
“Not her friend,” Joel corrects before you can. “‘M her boyfriend.”
“Oh,” she says. “Boyfriend.” Her lips wrap loosely around the word, like it’s some fanciful thing. “You’re too old to be someone’s boyfriend.” 
Joel takes a step away from her, closer to you, and splays a steadying hand across your back. “Man-friend, then.” 
You laugh, not because it’s funny, but because this entire conversation is fucking awkward. 
Sheila pays you no attention.
“Well,” she sighs, overtly staring at the exposed skin of Joel’s chest, where the top two buttons of his flannel are undone, “Joel, if you’re ever lookin’ for a good meal, I’m just next door.” She flits her eyes up to his and smirks. “Know a big man like you has gotta eat.”
Your vision blurs scarlet. 
Joel is equally as infuriated. The disrespect of this woman, to so openly flirt with him in front of you. His fists ball tightly at his sides. 
“Thanks, but no thanks,” he gruffs. “Anyway, nice to meet ya ma’am-“
“Sheila,” she reminds him. 
“Sheila,” he repeats, only to appease her. He turns to you, squeezing your waist affectionately. “We should probably get goin’, right sweetheart?”
You’re still fuming, barely able to register Joel’s voice next to you through the thick haze of pure fury clouding your mind, but you manage to nod, spit out a hurried yeah.
And with that, Joel is turning on his heels, pulling you with him toward the elevators. You don’t dare look back at her, but you can feel her eyes boring a hole in the back of your head. 
Her footfall fades into the mailroom and you breathe a minuscule sigh of relief. At least she’s out of your sight.
“Please just move in with me,” Joel begs when you’re finally behind closed metal doors, the inspection plaque situated above the buttons suddenly extremely interesting as you try to focus on not thinking about setting this woman’s apartment on fire.
You’ve talked about living together a few times. It’s just — you’ve never considered it so seriously until right now. 
“I can’t let them win,” you mutter, agitated. 
You hate how they’ve made you feel, like you’re some helpless animal tucked in the corner, hiding from them. Just waiting for the next ambush. 
With the passing of each floor, your anger simmers, bubbles into a silent rage in your stomach, one which threatens to boil over at the next underestimation of Joel’s devotion to you. You need to make it known, once and for all, that he’s yours. 
Words from your grandmother play on a loop in your head, ones she repeated to you often when you were a child: if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. 
And then you have a thought — a devious thought — maybe you don’t have to say anything to get your point across. Not to them, anyway.
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Your mouth is on Joel the second you’re back inside the four walls of your own apartment, slotting against his pulse point and sucking a desperate bruise there.
He’s not expecting it — why would he be? You’ve just been seething the entire elevator ride up to your floor, the entire walk down the long, winding hallway to your unit. He’d practically been able to see the steam billowing from your ears. 
So the switch-up is more than a bit dizzying, to say the least.
“Whoa, darlin’,” he pants, his large hands draping over your shoulders. “What are you-”
“Joel.” Your voice is stern; it demands his attention. “Do you trust me?” 
Your hand trails down his body languidly, in a straight line to the waistband of his jeans. And fuck, of course he trusts you — more than anyone. But this is wrong, fucked up, for you to make him feel good when you’ve been made to feel so small these past few minutes. 
Still, his cock doesn’t get the memo, twitching in his jeans as you place another open-mouthed kiss on the underside of his jaw, your fingers beginning to fiddle with his belt buckle. 
You give him no choice with the way you’re touching him, the way you’re looking at him when you pull back, all pleading eyes and parted mouth, but to resign all protest. He’ll give you the world, and if right now you want to use his body to blow off some steam, who is he to complain about it?
“Yeah baby, of course,” he breathes. “What do you need?”
You smirk at him audaciously, tongue smoothing over your teeth. “Need you to be loud,” you purr. Your voice is so innocent in juxtaposition to the words you spew. It sends a chill down the column of his spine. “Let them know who makes you feel good.” 
He nearly cums in his pants untouched, grasps at the fabric of your shirt with clumsy hands and nods. “Fuck, okay.”
His belt falls to the floor with a clang.
He lets you take control, then. Lets you mark him with your tongue and your teeth, lets you back him to the door with deft fingers working his shirt buttons open before sinking to your knees in front of him, freeing his hardening cock from the confines of his jeans and boxers.
It’s already weeping for you when you pull it out, precum beading at the tip. He’s so big, growing heavier in your hand with each passing second, and you lose yourself for a moment, hypnotized by him.
“Always so eager to please me, aren’t you, pretty girl?” Joel’s voice pulls you back to earth, soft and adoring.
“Louder,” you remind him. Plant a kiss right over top of his leaking slit.
“Fuck,” he hisses through his teeth. One of his hands flies to the crown of your head, anchoring himself with fingers in your hair. “Dirty fucking girl.” 
His voice fills the entranceway, confident and filthy. 
“Mmm,” you hum approvingly.
“Yeah? You want me to tell ‘em? Tell ‘em you’re making my cock drool for you? That nobody — shit-” You enclose your lips around his tip, suckling on it as your fingers wrap around the base of his length and you begin to stroke him lazily. “-that nobody has ever made me feel this good?” 
Footsteps echo down the hallway and the sound makes you reflexively pause, your hand stiling on Joel’s cock. It’s followed by the jingling of metal, the click of a key in a lock, the opening and closing of a door — all close enough that you can pinpoint the source, can tell where exactly it’s coming from. 
Sheila is home. 
Perfect.
It’s probably worrying how excited it makes you, the prospect of her hearing, of her sitting alone in her apartment, at her empty dining table, and listening to Joel fall apart at your hands. Maybe they’ve driven you to and over the edge of sanity with their words, her most of all. Regardless, you can’t help the way it makes your cunt flutter around nothing. 
You lick a slow stripe up the underside of Joel’s cock, starting just above his balls and dragging the flat of your tongue up, up, up to his tip. His breath shudders, his grip on your hair tightening, and the subtle sting at the center of your scalp gives you another idea. 
“Do you wanna fuck my face, Joel?” 
“Do I wanna — fuck — you’re gonna kill me, angel.” 
“Go ahead,” you encourage, unhinging your jaw as wide as it can go, letting your tongue droop over your bottom lip. 
Saliva pools in your waiting mouth and Joel groans at the sight of you, so malleable for him, begging to be used. 
“You sure?” 
It’s not that he doesn’t think you can handle it. He knows you can. You’ve taken him down your throat more times than he can count. Always so fucking eager to please him, you are — just one of the many reasons he feels so goddamn lucky, so infuriated that anyone would think otherwise. 
But still, he can’t help but worry that he’ll hurt you. 
You nod, eyes locked on him, confirming beyond a shadow of a doubt that you want this. He nods back, beginning to feed his cock into your mouth, easing it in slowly and halting when his head hits the back of your throat, causing you to gag.
You don’t pull away, don’t show any indication of displeasure. In fact, you dig your fingers into the meat of his thighs, bearing down on him as you push forward. Mascara tears stain your cheeks as you choke on him, laser-focused on relaxing your throat so that you can accommodate more of his length. 
Joel pulls back, retreating entirely before pushing in again. He slowly increases his pace, your eyes hooded, so doelike and innocent, as his cockhead bruises your larynx. 
The sounds he’s pulling from your mouth are absurdly lewd: muffled gags and frantic inhales of breath. And then there’s him, moaning wildly, not sure if he’d be able to shut up even if he needed to be quiet. Your mouth is good, too fucking good and he’s going to — fuck, he’s going to cum if you don’t stop. 
He pulls out abruptly, a string of drool and precum tethering the tip of his cock to your swollen bottom lip. You’re panting, coughing, still bracing yourself against his legs when you fucking smile up at him. 
“Christ,” he says. “Fuckin’ angel, you are. Mouth feels like goddamn heaven.” 
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. But I need to cum in that perfect little cunt,” he breathes, pulling a strangled moan from the back of your rawed throat. 
He helps you up, spins you around to face the door. You brace both hands on the wood, humming as he pulls your pants down to your knees. His breath is on the back of your neck, trailing up to the shell of your ear with one whisper just for you, because he can’t help it. 
“So fuckin’ beautiful, you know that?” 
You shiver, responding with a tilt of your head, inviting him in with a needy little mewl. He cradles your face in one of his large hands, the other rubbing over the curve of your ass as he kisses you passionately, tasting himself on your tongue.
The hand on your ass trails lower as he deepens the kiss, two fingers pressing against your clothed seam. You’ve all but soaked through the fabric, wet cotton molding to his knuckles as he caresses them along your pussy before pulling your panties down in one swift motion.
You whine into the kiss, desperate and dripping for him. “Please,” you breathe against his lips. “I’ll make you feel so good, I promise.”
“Know you will,” he coos, mouth parting from yours as he straightens out and lines himself up with your entrance. You arch your back, rocking onto the balls of your feet as he teases you with the tip.
His cock is so thick when it finally notches into you. It’s always so devastatingly thick, no matter how wet you are for him. The stretch stings, a jolt of warm pain coursing through your walls as he stills halfway in. 
“You okay?” he asks, one hand resting at the small of your back, the other on your hip, fingers gripping to you only tight enough to hold you in place.
“Yes, fuck — yes,” you whine. “Need you to fuck me, Joel.”
“I’m goin’ to baby, don’t worry,” 'he promises, pushing in another splitting inch. “Pussy’s so goddamn tight, ‘ts suckin’ me right in.”
It feels like hours pass with Joel’s cock motionless inside your aching cunt, his warm breath fanning across your back as he focuses on not cumming. You’re whimpering, begging under the weight of his body, to please just fucking move.
When he finally obliges you, pulling all the way out and then bottoming out in one deep thrust, it nearly punches the air out of your chest. You scrabble for purchase on the door, fingernails scraping against chipped paint. “F-uucckk,” you moan, eyes rolling back in your head as he sets a dizzying pace.
The sound of his balls slapping against the back of your thighs is enough to attract attention on its own, the loud smacksmacksmack going straight to your cunt. Joel growls behind you, driving into you even harder, the tip of his cock brushing against your g-spot. 
“Oh, shit,” you cry. Your pussy inadvertently squeezes him and he curses at your back, low and deep. 
“Not going to last if you keep doin’ that,” he warns. “Cunt is too fuckin’ good. Best I’ve ever — uuuhh — had.”
He’s not just saying it for show. It’s true. You know it is, too. He’s told you before, both under the influence of your pussy and not. Waited too many goddamn years to feel like this, he’d said once.
“It’s — fuck, it’s fine Joel,” you mutter. “I’m close too, just keep going, right there.”
A door across the hall creaks open. A pair of footsteps patter across tile. 
Do you hear that?  Yeah; what is that noise?
Joel laughs darkly behind you, snaps his hips up, forcing a guttural moan out of you. 
“Think they caught us, darlin’,” he says. “Caught you takin’ my cock like you’re fuckin’ made to.”
Oh my word!
Joel is unrelenting, pounding into you despite the voices right outside your apartment, and you fear for a moment that you’ve created a monster. One of his hands leaves its place on your waist, cracks down on the center of your asscheek with a slap, the flesh recoiling under his palm and you gasp. 
The feeling travels between your legs, straight to your neglected clit. It pulsates under the hood with every pass of Joel’s cock over your g-spot, and you feel yourself hurtling toward the edge dangerously fast. 
If these people don’t leave, they’re going to hear you cum. Do you want them to hear you cum? Yeah, you think, clit jumping again at the thought, I think I fucking do.
“Joel, fuck-”
“You gonna cum?” he goads. “Yeah, can feel you squeezin’ me — you’re gonna cum, aren’t ya?”
This is vulgar!  We should file a noise complaint. C’mon.
His hand snakes around your front then, finds your throbbing bud, and with a few passes of his calloused fingertips, you’re gone, vision whiting out and all noise around you muted. 
Joel keeps you upright between him and the door, his grip on you tightening as your muscles slacken. He follows closely behind, cumming inside you with a carnal noise from the back of his throat, rope after rope of his spend filling your cunt. 
He pulls out with a grunt, immediately collapsing on the floor. Without his support, you topple over too, falling onto his lap with a satiated giggle. 
A banging comes from the other side of the wall then, shaking your kitchen cabinets a few feet away, the clanging of glassware jolting you.
Keep it down next time! I don’t need to hear that!
And then you’re laughing like teenagers, Joel pulling you in for a sloppy kiss, all tongues and teeth. 
“Think they’re really gonna make a noise complaint?” Joel asks when you finally come up for air. 
“I dunno,” you smile. “Does your offer still stand — for me to move in with you?” 
“Always,” he vows, forehead resting against yours.
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end notes: ty for reading! pls consider commenting or reblogging if you enjoyed <3
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