#which i THINK i read back when i was reading these in high school. i think. we'll find out i guess...

[saltnsugarbear]

KNOCK KNOCK congratulations on your celebration!!

“This is wrong.” “So wrong.” While continuing to pull at each others clothes, mind fogged with nothing but lust and arousal. With Carmy perhaps 🧎🏼‍��️ forbidden romance of some sort

this got soooo far away from me ummm

word count: 2.1k, it got so far from me guys

content warnings: MDNI!!! afab reader genitalia, unprotected sex, mentioned drinking, mentions of the walk-in incident

side note: i finally get to clock in on my "what if reader was claires sibling" bullshit, which no identifiers are mentioned so they could be adopted, but we're a bit messy lmao

You've always had a thing for Carmen Berzatto.

The boy down the street. The youngest of the three bears.

However you spent more time with Nat, dragged into her orbit on the volleyball court. She was peeking over your shoulder one day, looking at the shot you had gotten of the rival girls on the field. After that you two became attached at the hip until she graduated. Even afterwards you still kept in contact while going through your separate schools.

Nat was there when you walked across the stage. Seeing you and Carmy walk across the stage that afternoon left Natalie in tears in the crowd, clapping as loud as she could when they called your name.

Being friends with Nat and related to Claire left you little room to entertain your crush though. Being in the same year as both of them was enough to make you hit your head on the desk everytime they stared longingly at each other. It made you want to tear your hair out.

Claire wasn't very good at keeping a diary, leaving it out on her bed or desk. Wide open for anyone to read.

That's how you knew about her crush on Carmen. The way she talked about him, made him out to be this mythical shy guy who couldn't speak up for himself. (Mostly she complained about school but didn't you all?)

So high school yielded no action for you. Instead pining from afar, lingering in rooms when Sugar sparingly invited you to her house.

Richie always seemed to be around that house, entering or leaving or hearing him from inside the house. You had seen from your own front lawn how Richie and Mikey liked to dog on Carmy, arm slung around his shoulder and laughing loudly as Carmen's ears and face flushed. Sometimes Nat was there, shoving at Richie's arm as he tried to boost to her something he and Mikey had done.

So being in Carmy's orbit was enough until he went off to New York and Copenhagan and you never saw him again.

Not until Claire texted you saying she had run into Carmy at the grocery store.

Hearing the ups and downs of Claire and Carmy's relationship almost daily was grueling. Their adventures and scheming and spending the night at his house finally.

But it got you back in contact with Sugar, which was nice. You got to catch up with her on her grieving and her life with Pete and her expected baby.

Claire and Sugar invited you to friend's and family night at his restaurant. An exclusive time at the newest fine dining in Chicago. It was obvious you would go, invited not once but twice it basically played into your lap.

That's how you ended up watching Claire walk out of The Bear's kitchen with tears in her eyes. Richie is quick to trade places with her as you watch her walk out of the front door, the two Faks tailing behind her.

The screaming on Richie's side of the door is messy and loud. You can't even hear Carmy through the door.

Sugar keeps you around for support and clean up as the hardware man takes out the door. The sound of the saw is loud as you wipe down counters and return dishes to cabinets.

Carmy makes his presence sparing when he gets out of the walk-in, beelining for the back door. After a few minutes Sugar comes to find you.

"Hey.." She leans against the counter, watching you scrub at a particularly annoying spot.

"Hmm?" You hum, glancing at her quickly.

"You're good to leave... I... I'm sorry about... All of tonight, I didn't think..." Natalie trails off.

"Didn't think Carmy would break up with my sister?" You ask dryly. Natalie huffs next to you, ducking her head forward and leaning her forehead against your shoulder.

"Yeah... It's... I'm sorry.." Natalie sighs as you bring an arm around her. "I appreciate you..."

You hum softly, resting your cheek against the top of her head. "S'okay.."

"Nat?" It's Pete. Calling from the dining area before his head peeks in. Both of you turn to face him where he stands in the doorway holding Sugar's coat.

"Thank you, again.." Nat sighs, placing a quick kiss to your temple before letting go of you and heading towards Pete.

Natalie leaving means your in the kitchen mostly by yourself, save for the hardware guy.

He's not your problem so you head for the back door, collecting one of the coats from where it hangs and tugging it on before walking outside.

You find Carmy leaning against his car, cigarette between his lips and jacket unbuttoned, showing you the white tee that hugs his chest tight. He's built muscle since the last time you saw him... Back in high school.

"Hey..." You call softly to him, crossing your arms over your chest as you walk towards him cautiously.

"Hmm.." Carmy hums as he exhales, removing the cigarette from his lips before he turns to you. "Oh shit.."

His response makes you huff, smiling at him softly.

"You grew up." He says it as an observation but it makes your cheeks flush.

"So did you.." You tell him, tilting your head to the side. Carmy shrugs at this, sliding down his car to make room for you next to him.

"Gonna yell at me, too?" He asks, bringing the stick back to his mouth and inhaling.

"No..." You tell him, sliding onto the edge of the hood. "You've been yelled at enough tonight, let you have a break."

Carmy shakes his head before offering you his cigarette. You take it graciously, having only ever smoked a few times.

"Didn't know Sugar still kept you around..." He says casually, watching as you bring the cigarette to your lips and inhale shortly.

You hum around the filter before handing it back to him.

"Not so much anymore.. Both too busy for it.." You shrug. "Kind of hid away after you left. Didn't hear from her too often until um... Until Mikey.."

"Oh.." Carmy says and you sigh. "Didn't know that um.. that she-"

"S'okay," you tell him. "You didn't know.. Partially my fault, phone works both ways. Since you're unaware of that."

Carmy scoffs, shaking his head at you again and making you chuckle.

"Sorry I didn't uh... I didn't see you at her table..." He doesn't have to say who's table. He was so enraptured with her and it wasn't anything new. But this time it looked like a tainted enrapture, one that was going to drive him mad.

"Nothing new.." You mutter, tucking your burrowed coat in close.

"What does that mean?" Carmy snickers, looking at you sideways. You shrug, softly tapping your heel against the car.

"Just that.... Well just that you never really paid attention to me whenever she was around.." You twist your fingers around a loose string hanging from your hood. "So like... It wasn't a surprise you didn't notice me.."

You don't know why you're saying all of this. Maybe it's the wine they so readily supplied, making you loose lipped. Carmy's looking at you absolutely bewildered.

"What-"

"It's really not that big of deal, Carmy. Did it when we were in school too, not a big thing.." You brush him off, waving your hand at him like you can physically clear it from the board.

"But-"

"Doesn't matter," you cut him off. "Doesn't matter, doesn’t matter. Doesn't-"

You press a finger to his lips when he trys to speak up again. "Matter."

Carmy huffs against your finger when you're done.

"Done?" Carmy asks you while you study him. When you're sure that he's not going to try talking again, you remove your finger from his lips.

You watch as Carmy let's his cigarette fall, snuffing it out when he turns to face his body towards yours. You both stare at each other for a moment, glancing over every little feature that might have changed.

Somewhere between your impromptu staring contest and your back hitting Carmy's front door, someone had made the move. Maybe it was Carmy who brought his hand to cradle your jaw and closed the gap. Maybe you had pushed off the hood of the car and pushed Carmy up against the car door.

What ever it was had you up against Carmy's door, breathing heavily as he fumbles for his keys. Carmy fumbles with his keys, swearing softly as he pushes his hips harder against yours. You whine as the lock finally clicks, door pushing open behind you as Carmy leads you.

As soon as the doors closed Carmy is reconnecting your lips, guiding you back, back, back until your lower back hits a rough edge. The force surprises a groan out of you, welcoming Carmy to explore your mouth. Carmy's hands are firm as they climb upwards, resting and squeezing softly at your chest. He's quick to tangle his fingers in your shirt, tugging it up and breaking the kiss to lift it over your head and leaving you in just your under clothes. The way he whines when he can finally get his hands on you is intoxicating, driving your hands to grab at his waistband.

Carmy's own fingers snake down to pop the button of your pants, tugging down your zipper with ease.

"This is wrong.." Carmy pants against your lips, hooking his thumbs in your waistband of your pants and underwear and shoving them down your thighs.

"So wrong..." You say, tugging his belt out of the buckle and undoing his button and zipper.

"We should stop..." Carmy betrays his words, helping you push down his pants and stepping out of them to push up against you. His erection is painfully obvious as he grinds against you.

"Definitely," you agree, pushing yourself up onto his counter. You kick your pants off, letting them fall to the floor at Carmy's feet. Carmy groans into your skin, pressing kisses to your neck as his hands knead at your thighs.

"You should.... Should go.." He whispers against your collarbone as his hands slide just out of reach of your core. You can't fight the whine you let out at his teasing touch, grabbing his wrist to coax him closer.

"Uh-huh.." You nod, closing your eyes as the pads of his fingers swipe between your folds. Carmy's breathing is heavy as he prods at your entrance, resting his forehead against your shoulder.

When he finally pushes in, you can feel his sharp inhale against your skin. His reaction causes you to open your eyes, looking down and following his gaze. Carmy is watching the way his middle and ring fingers stretch you open, pushing until he's to the knuckles. You whine softly as Carmy curls his fingers up against your inner walls, grinding the heel of his hand against your clit causing you to buck up to his hold. He starts with shallow thrusts, driving his fingers deep and yours into his curls.

"Need.... Need now, Carm..." You whine, bucking up into his motions. Carmen groans softly, pressing a kiss to your shoulder. The hand not in his hair, slips fingers into the waistband of his boxers, tugging down at the elastic. He groans softly, starting to trail kisses up along your neck again.

"Please, Carm.." You whisper as he slowly starts slipping his fingers out of you, making you pout at the loss. His hands are quick to take over for yours, shoving off his boxers and letting his length spring free.

"Sure 'bout this?" He whispers against your cheek, nipping softly along your jaw.

"Uh-huh.." You nod, scooting your hips closer to the edge of the counter and feeling the warmth of him against your thigh. "Y're so warm, Carmy..."

The twitch he gives you in response to your whine makes you grin, capturing his lips quickly. "Please?"

Carmen is easy to persuade, bringing your knees to his sides and nudging his head up against your entrance. The first push makes you inhale sharply, just the tip much thicker than his two fingers. Carmy groans next to your ear, hands holding your hips tight.

"S'warm... Tight..." Carmy grunts, pushing a little deeper at his own words. You nod anyways, not registering his words but your body does. Carmy whines when he feels your walls clenching around him, bringing one of his hands to guide your face to him and kissing you deeply.

With you distracted Carmy is able to push until his hips are flush with yours, making you both groan.

"Gonna make you feel s'good.." Carmy promises.

And he does.

[itzsana-kiddingmenow]

300 𝙛𝙤𝙡𝙡𝙤𝙬𝙚𝙧 𝙨𝙥𝙚𝙘𝙞𝙖𝙡: 𝙙𝙖𝙮 1 — 𝙖𝙡𝙬𝙖𝙮𝙨 𝙝𝙤𝙢𝙚

𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙙𝙨: 3.5k (phew its been a while since i wrote something this long)

𝙖/𝙣: OMG I FINALLY GET TO POST THIS!! yall i needed a minsung okayyyy i dont ship them IRL but i NEEDED this plot. also as of now, tickletober is put on hold until im able to finish it all and post it all at the same time :3

𝙩/𝙬: ROMANTIC PLOT, read at your own risk! rougher tickles but it remains soft between them, use of gentle restraint, teasing, and mentions of romantic moments

𝒍𝒆𝒆: spiderman! jisung

𝙡𝙚𝙧: minho

𝒕𝒂𝒈𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕: @someone-who-loves-kpop-saranghae @jeonginsdiary @leeknowstan33 @v--143 @wereallgonnadieonedaybutnottoday @inkytornpagess @lajanaa @a-wild-seungberry @channieissocute125 @soap143 @seungsluvv @skznccmlee @moony-9 @sunny-117 @minnielvrr

𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠! 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐞? 𝐤𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐛𝐮𝐛s🖤

Minho had always been the type to go unnoticed, despite his strikingly pretty face. 

His quiet demeanor and cold attitude kept people at a distance, which suited him just fine. 

While others in his class buzzed with the excitement of high school friendships and crushes, Minho remained detached, his heart only warmed by small, random moments.

Then there was Jisung.

Minho first noticed him during chemistry class, a boy with messy hair and a habit of biting his lip when nervous. 

The thing was, Jisung was always nervous around Minho. He would blush furiously whenever they were partnered up, stutter when asking him something, and occasionally knock over a beaker or two in his fluster.

Minho found it…oddly adorable. Not that he’d admit it, but he’d grown a little fond of watching the way Jisung’s face turned bright pink whenever they were close.

But that day, Minho wasn’t thinking of Jisung or himself. He was just walking, thinking, in the middle of the night. 

Until he heard a crash, and three huge, buff dudes decided to approach him, backing him against the wall. 

“Where’s your money?” One asked harshly, and fear gripped Minho as he felt his back hit the wall. He was a student—he couldn’t lose his money. 

Before he could react, the guy grabbed at him, reaching for his bag, but just as panic set in, something—someone—appeared out of nowhere, swooping down in a blur of red and dark blue.

“Whoa, easy there! Hands off the pretty boy, yeah?” A teasing voice called, followed by the unmistakable thwip of web shooters. Within seconds, the robber was stuck to the nearby alley wall, struggling but securely bound in webs.

Minho stood there, wide-eyed and slightly dazed, his heart still hammering in his chest. His savior landed gracefully in front of him, offering an exaggerated bow. "No need to thank me. All in a day's work, saving helpless civilians."

Minho blinked, taking in the familiar red and blue costume. “You’re…Spiderman….”

“Yep, that’s me.” Spiderman said, straightening up with a cocky grin hidden behind his mask. “You alright?”

Minho stared in disbelief. “I’m fine.” He mumbled, his usual cool facade barely intact after the sudden encounter.

“Well, good. You should be more careful, walking around here alone. Cute guys like you attract all kinds of trouble.” There was a teasing lilt to Spiderman’s voice that made Minho bristle slightly. 

“Maybe next time we can hang out when you’re not about to get mugged.” Spiderman tilted his head playfully. “Got a number?”

Minho paused, his usual reservations kicking in, but something about the situation—the thrill of being saved, the strange charm of Spiderman—made him relent. “Fine. Give me your phone.”

Spiderman handed it over, and Minho quickly punched in his number before handing it back.

“Nice. I’ll be sure to text you if I save you again~” Spiderman teased.

“Don’t get cocky,” Minho muttered, watching as Spiderman grinned behind his mask and disappeared into the night.

Minho recounted everything that had just occurred with a disbelieving laugh. Did I just befriend Spiderman? And why is he shorter than me? 

Returning to his college the next day, Minho sincerely hoped Jisung had made progress on the chemistry project. He knew he was pretty pre-occupied last night. 

He walked up and sat next to the boy, watching his chubby cheeks turn pink as they always did, just as Han wished him a good morning, biting his lower lip and holding out his lab book sweetly; He had done half of the experiment already. 

Minho smiled gently down at him, taking the book from Sung’s shaky hands and reading through the data, all handwritten in Jisung’s neat scrawl. 

“Wow, good job, Jisung! I can’t believe you managed to do all of this in a day.” Min grinned at the smaller boy, who smiled a crinkly, adorable smile that made Minho oddly want to grab his face and kiss him senseless. 

“T-Thank you…” Jisung smiled shyly, ears turning the same shade of pink as his cheeks. God, he’s so endearing. 

After working hard on the project and suffering through every experiment part, Minho was finally done. 

“Good job, Hannie.” He knew he had to be gentle with Jisung; Just cause he wasn’t  popular doesn’t mean the sweet, nerdy, extremely smart Sungie wasn’t shy. 

“Thank you.” Jisung smiled shyly again. 

Minho got home to the dorms, pulling his phone out just to see a message: 

Spidey: Meet me on the roof in 5 >:)

God, not the roof. Minho had a horrible fear of heights. He knew Spiderman didn’t know that, though. 

Reaching for the doorknob, Minho braced himself as he stepped out, just to look down and feel fear immediately spike through his system. 

The ground below felt impossibly far away, the edge of the roof suddenly far too close. Minho froze, fingers tightening on the doorknob. 

His heart pounded in his chest, breath quickening as a wave of dizziness hit him. His knees gave out slightly, and before he realized it, he was practically crumpled at the door, clinging to the knob like a lifeline. Holy shit holy shit holy shit—

“Minho?” 

Spidey’s voice was soft, a teasing lilt barely audible over the sound of Minho’s ragged breathing. Minho squeezed his eyes shut, his knuckles white as he gripped the door behind him.

“I—I don’t think I can move…” He admitted in a shaky whisper, his breaths coming too fast now, shallow and desperate.

“Hey, I’m sorry…I didn’t know you were scared.” Spiderman’s voice was gentle, and Minho could feel a warm, gloved hand cover his. 

“I won’t let you fall, I promise.”

Minho’s breath hitched, but the warmth of Spidey’s hands steadied him. He forced his eyes open, meeting the masked gaze of the here as he pulled him upright, keeping a strong arm around his waist.

“Look at me—” Spidey said, his voice close now, almost soothing as it cut through Minho’s rising panic. “Even if you fall, I’ll catch you. You’re safe. I’ve got you, okay?”

Slowly, Minho nodded, clutching Spidey’s arm as they approached the ledge. When they finally stopped, Minho dared to glance down and saw the view before him—the city lights glittering like stars, stretching far into the distance. 

The sight was stunning, but his legs still felt weak, the ground far below pulling at him with an unsettling gravity.

But he knew that Spidey wouldn’t let him fall. Speaking of Spiderman, he was rambling animatedly to Minho. “See? Isn’t it so pretty?” 

Minho took another breath, steadying himself as his eyes roamed the view. Now that the panic was fading, he had to admit, it was pretty. The city spread out like a glittering web, each light flickering like tiny stars in the dark. He exhaled softly. 

“Yeah… it’s nice.”

“I—Oh…I-I’m sorry!!” Jisung gasped, knocking over a test tube as he dumped his books on the table with a tiny whimper and took a seat next to Minho. He was late, Min noticed. 

And he was wearing a long sleeved tee…it was really hot outside. Minho’s eyes narrowed in suspicion, but he didn’t say anything. 

Then, while Jisung was writing in his lab book, Min noticed a deep cut on his wrist, the skin red and bruised, and he wanted to ask what had happened, but the bell rang and Sungie seemed very intent on getting out of Min’s way. 

Minho met up with Spidey on the roof, giggling and laughing at funny stories and smiling as Spiderman continued his random antics. 

Minho found himself enjoying every moment, every minuscule thing he did with the red and blue decked superhero. It took all his worries away, and he knew that not much could do that. 

Spidey stopped rambling and winced, holding his wrist. 

“What’s wrong?” Minho asked gently, and the hero shook his head. “I got cut today morning, I was fighting a villain. It hurts, but I guess it’ll be okay.”  

Minho noticed the placement of the cut seemed very…familiar? Like he’d already seen it that day, and he racked his mind for any clue as to why an ice-cold realization was one thought away from occurring. 

Minho’s mind slowly began to create some connections between Jisung and Spiderman. It was probably his brain making stuff up…but he found the two really similar. 

They were both the same height, and he could tell Spidey’s cheeks were just as soft. He knew he would’ve thought that Jisung was Spiderman way earlier…If it weren’t for some differing factors. 

For example, Jisung gets shy almost immediately. He’s barely able to even hold a conversation with Minho, becoming flustered so quickly. 

And his clumsiness. 

Minho, noticing that Spidey and Sungie seemed to have the same cut in the same placement, but he had previously attributed Jisung’s little accident to his clumsiness. 

Jisung tripped often, often over his own feet, and his hands were naturally shaky and even his adorably thin, gold-framed glasses couldn’t save himself from his own tripping and falling. 

Minho thought for a little while longer, and for some reason, although everything fit, he was just unable to believe that the shy, cute,  blushing boy from his chemistry class was a web-shooting superhero. 

But it all clicked. 

The next day, Jisung stumbled into the class, hair tousled, late as normal, and he seemed to notice Minho staring holes into his head. “D-Do you need something, hyung?” He set his things down beside Minho. 

Minho shook his head, remaining silent. The teasing, confident spider he had been meeting on the roof was really shy, clumsy, sweet Jisung from chemistry. Minho almost couldn’t believe it. 

The second class was over, Minho was grabbing Jisung’s wrist, forcing him into the janitor’s closet and almost laughing at the flustered squeak he earned in response. 

“Hyung…what—” Jisung’s voice wobbled, his wide eyes darting around the tiny space as he blinked in confusion.

Minho pressed a finger to Jisung’s lips, grinning down at him. “You didn’t think you’d get away that easily, did you, Spiderman?”

Jisung froze, his face paling before turning a shade of red that rivaled his suit. “W-What—?!” Adorable. 

“Oh, don’t play dumb,” Minho teased, his voice low as he leaned in closer. “I know who you are now. Spiderman~” he whispered the name with a teasing lilt, watching as Jisung squirmed, trying to hide his flushed face behind his hands.

Sungie looked like he wanted to say more, his mouth opening and closing in shock and fear. “H-How?!” 

“Your wrist? You have a cut, Sung.” Minho deadpanned, and he startled at the sight of tears gathering in Jisung’s lashline. 

“Minho—Hyung…you can’t tell anyone! Okay?!” Jisung seemed stressed, his eyes widening as he made his point clear. 

“Sungie…of course I won’t. You don’t have to worry.” Minho smiled gently, cupping Jisung’s cheeks and waiting for the poor boy to calm down. 

“I-I didn’t think you’d find out…I tried to hide the cut, but I guess it didn’t work…” Hannie muttered, and Minho grinned. “You’re so confident and strong in your suit, but you’re so shy and clumsy here, Peter Han.” 

Jisung groaned, his entire face turning an even deeper shade of red as he covered his face again. “Oh my god...”

Minho chuckled softly, stepping closer until he was practically towering over the shorter boy. “You’re so tiny. And so cute~” he teased, poking Jisung lightly in the side.

Jisung whined as Minho leaned in, face inches away. “I bet you’re so cute blushing…so adorable~” 

“Hyung!” Jisung squealed. 

Jisung stumbled out of the storage closet, almost dropping half of his books, face bright red and lips swollen, Minho following with a grin, half of his lip tint wiped clean off. 

“Bye, Sungie!~” Minho laughed, smiling fondly as Jisung raced down the hallway with a blushing squeak, his face bright red and his cheeks looking even chubbier than usual. 

Minho waited at the roof, smiling as a certain red and blue superhero flipped and landed gracefully, squeaking as Minho pinned him against the wall immediately, yanking his mask off of his head. 

Min smiled fondly at the sight of Sungie’s messy hair and his adrenaline-flushed cheeks. 

Jisung, clearly caught off guard, took a step back—only to stumble over his own feet. He yelped, nearly losing his balance. But before he could fall, Minho’s hands shot out, grabbing him by the waist and pulling him back upright.

“Careful, Spidey~” Minho teased, his grip firm and steady around Jisung’s waist. He grinned as Jisung squirmed in his arms, clearly embarrassed. “Can’t have my hero tripping over himself now, can I?” He pulled them so Jisung’s chest was flush against his. 

Without warning, Minho pressed a soft kiss to his cheek. 

“Wha—No! Minho!” Jisung groaned in mortification, hands flying to cover his face as Minho burst into laughter. “You’re the worst!” 

“And you’re cute,” Minho shot back, still grinning. He took a step closer, gently tapping Jisung’s chin to get him to look up. 

“Stopp…I’m not cute—!” 

“Are you kidding me?” Minho cut him off, tilting Jisung’s head slightly as he inspected him, his tone turning soft but serious. “You’re literally the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. Your face is adorable.”

Jisung opened his mouth to protest, but Minho wasn’t done. “You’ve got this tiny mole right here.” Minho pointed out, tapping the small mole on Jisung’s cheek. “I’ve wanted to kiss it since the first time I saw you.”

Jisung squeaked at that, his eyes widening in disbelief. “W-What?!”

“And your hair.” Minho continued, running his fingers through Jisung’s tousled locks. “It’s always a mess, but it’s so soft. You look like a tiny baby bird.”

Jisung let out an embarrassed whimper, trying and failing to hide his face as Minho kept hold of him, the teasing grin never leaving his lips. “Minho, s-stop…”

“And don’t even get me started on your body…” Minho said, pulling back just enough to look at Jisung’s small, slender frame. “You’re so tiny. How is someone this tiny supposed to be Spiderman?”

Jisungie groaned and hid his face against Min’s chest with a flustered whine, and Minho had an idea to cause some extra mischief. 

For a moment, neither of them spoke, content to just be in each other’s arms. The night air was cool, but Minho felt nothing but warmth with Jisung in his arms, the quiet moment feeling far more intimate than all the teasing that had come before.

Minho prodded Jisung’s side once. And just like that, the intimate energy was gone. 

“S-Stohop!!” Hannie smacked his hand away, but the tickle monster within Minho had woken up, and he was hungry. 

With a playful smirk, Minho snatched Jisung’s web shooter, and playfully stuck his wrists above his head with a speed Jisung’s couldn’t even comprehend, pressing them agaisnt the wall, causing Jisung to gasp in surprise. 

"You really think I’m gonna stop now, Sungie?" Minho asked, his voice dripping with amusement as placed Jisung’s web shooter back, and Jisung was trapped there, completely at his mercy. 

Minho stepped closer, leaning in so their faces were inches apart. Jisung held his breath, anticipation swirling in his stomach. But instead of a kiss, Minho’s fingers wiggled mischievously as they found their way to Jisung’s sides.

“Minho, don’t you dare—” Jisung began, but before he could finish, Minho’s fingers descended, spidering along Jisung’s sides with a devilish precision. Poor Sungie’s body jolted at the touch, a squeal escaping his lips as he arched his back, legs kicking out frantically behind Minho’s back.

“NONONO—Hyuhuhuhung nohohohoho!! THAHAHAT TIHIHICKLES!!” Sungie shrieked, eyes slitting as his heart-shaped smile appeared, stretching his chubby, pink cheeks. 

Jisung could feel his spider-sense going absolutely wild in his head, his body jolting at every touch as his spider suit allowed Minho access to every spot and detail along his skin uninterrupted. 

It drove Sungie mad, unable to squirm away due to the strength of his own webs as Minhi moved to his ribs next, grabbing his rib-cage with his hands and kneading in mercilessly. 

“PLEHEHEHEHEASEE!!” Jisung tried to squirm, tried to wiggle free, but Minho had him firmly pinned, his legs helplessly flailing as his laughter grew louder, sweeter, more frantic. 

His cheeks flushed a deep pink, his blonde hair sticking to his forehead as he gasped for air between giggles. “WAHAHAHAIT!! Wahahahait wait a sehehehecond—!!”

“Oh, wait? I don’t think so~” Minho cooed, his fingers suddenly pinching at Jisung’s sides, moving up to the tender area just beneath his ribs. “I’ve got you tied up all cute like this, baby. No running now.”

Sungie squealed, his spider-sense telling him to squirm to the right, then the left, and then the right again, but neither way provided any relief for poor, ticklish Sung. It certainly wasn’t helping that his sense was heightened and made everything that much more ticklish. 

“Look at you, Sungie~” Minho purred, leaning in closer, fingers now dancing across Jisung’s lower side belly, a spot that always made him lose control. 

“So squirmy… so helpless. You love this, don’t you?” Minho’s teasing voice made Jisung blush even harder, his mind whirling as he tried to keep up with the relentless tickling.

“NOHOHOHO!! Nahahahha dohohohon’t!!” Jisung laughed, eyes crinkling in joy just as Minho had an idea.

Moving his fingers to the web design on Sungie’s suit, he traced along the pattern all the way along his chest and sides, pulling the sweeter, frantic giggles as Jisung thrashed side to side to escape the ticklish sensation. 

Jisung threw his head back, a wide, helpless grin taking over his face as he squealed loudly, his laughter filling the silence in the area. “I CAHAHAHAN’T!! YOUHUHURE SO MEHEHEHEAN!!”

Minho only grinned wider, his heart practically bursting with affection as he watched his Sungie fall apart under his fingers. “Going crazy, huh? But I haven’t even gotten to the good spots yet~” Minho teased, his fingers suddenly moving higher, targeting Jisung’s underarms and causing him to shriek in surprise.

“IHIHIT TIHIHICKLES TOO MUHUHUCH!! Plehehehease leehhehet gohohoho!!” Jisung’s voice was tinged with frustration as Minho had him exactly where he wanted him, helpless to his tickling hands. 

Minho kept his fingers exactly where they were, curling around his underarms, moving to a sensitive spot right underneath, opening and closing his fingers in that same, maddening motion that had poor Hannie squealing out, kicking as Minho laughed along with him. 

“MIHIHINHOOOO!! AHAHASTOHOHOHAHAHA!!” Jisung screamed, frustration lacing through his movements as he struggles as hard as he could before giving in, limp against the wall as Minho’s tickling fingers continued to dance along his ticklish skin. 

After what felt like eternity, Minho finally ripped off the web, smiling as Jisung stumbled, his senses fried to the tickling. 

Minho slowed to let Jisung catch his breath, smiling as Sungie melted into his waiting arms, head pressed into his shoulder and wet cheek squished against his neck.  

He gently wrapped his arms around Jisung, his hands circling Han’s tiny waist. 

“You’re so mehehean…” Jisung whined, and Minho laughed gently. “Stay over tonight, baby.”

Minho stirred in the early morning light, soft rain tapping gently against the windowpane, the rhythmic sound lulling him further into a peaceful daze. 

The world outside was wrapped in the gray softness of a rainy day, clouds casting a gentle, cool glow through the bedroom. Minho blinked slowly, his eyes adjusting to the dim light, and as he turned his head, his breath hitched at the sight next to him.

Jisung was fast asleep, curled up against Minho’s side, his soft, steady breaths the only sound in the quiet room. His delicate features were utterly peaceful, lips slightly parted in a tiny, innocent pout as he snuggled closer in his sleep. He looked so small, so fragile, and yet so perfectly content.

Minho's eyes drifted to the shirt Jisung was wearing—his shirt. It was far too big for him, swallowing his tiny frame, with the sleeves hanging loosely past his fingertips. Below, Jisung was wearing shorts that barely peeked out from under the hem of the oversized shirt, making him look even tinier, as if he had tried to hide in Minho’s clothes.

Minho couldn’t help but smile at the sight, his heart swelling as he watched Jisung shift in his sleep. Jisung’s tiny body curled further into Minho, letting out the softest little squeak as he nuzzled his face into Minho’s chest. 

The sound was so innocent, so vulnerable, that it made Minho’s chest ache with affection.

He didn’t want to wake him, didn’t want to disturb the precious serenity of the moment. Jisung, still fast asleep, let out another soft squeak, his brows furrowing slightly as he shifted again, pressing impossibly closer into Minho’s warmth.

He tightened his arm around Jisung’s waist, careful not to wake him, but unable to resist the urge to pull him closer. As Jisung nestled further into his chest with a contented sigh, Minho knew, without a doubt, that he had fallen in love all over again.

He also knew that no matter what, when he was there, his Hannie was always home. 

[dangermousie]

When the Phone Rings has got me thinking about PMR, which in turn got me thinking about MMH due to the similar plots and release dates. And it just reminded me how MMH was the bigger hit (largely due to Park Minyoung's popularity and Na Inwoo's rising popularity. But honestly, MMH adaptation was such a disappointment as someone who read the webtoons of both PMR/MMH. What was great about PMR is it leaned into what it was. Similar to what we see so far in WTPR. But MMH honestly took itself too seriously. Also I felt PMY was miscast in the role.

I just need more dramas that fall into the PMR/WTPR category. Soapy, makjang that doesn't lean too much into makjang (like official makjangs) but doesn't take itself too seriously. Or tries to be above it. Like it could be very easy for the writer to increase focus on the politics in WTPR, thinking that they are above the mess that is our leads relationship - even though it's the selling point. Thankfully they didn't.

I haven't read either the PMR or MMH source novels/webtoons so no opinion on how they work as adaptations but I felt the same as you did - I enjoyed PMR a lot more. It was just so fun and committed so hard.

I always believe that a drama (or any other adaptation) should commit fully to the vibe - whether it's wattpad/90s romance novel vibe like PMR or When the Phone Rings or gonzo fighting fantasy (high or modern) like Burning Flames or I Am Nobody,

When you hold back to be cool or artsy or whatever it is you feel must constrain you, the audience can feel the disconnect/inauthenticity. In which case don't make something like this in the first place, make an arthouse piece about accountants or whatever you can commit fully.

WTPR reminds me of old school kdrama melos - I can honestly imagine Go Soo and Lee Da Hae in this 15 years ago - and I think that is why I love it so much. That and adult-oriented sageuks were always my two favorite kdrama genres.

[writeouswriter]

Genuinely don't understand people who don't want to actually think about and analyze what they read or want to use AI to write their essays, gonna be honest, I'd kill to be writing an essay right now, I'm dying to be in an environment where actually being able to delve into and lay out my thoughts on a work would mean something, have some effect or actual outside accountability or reward in the form of further understanding through review and working toward a further tangible goal, like genuinely if you don't want to learn the subject material, why are you paying to take these courses, I mean, it's one thing to be a disillusioned high school student who feels forced into an assignment and wants the easy way out, which, don't be that guy, even if you're struggling, trying to work through and pinpoint why is better than just trying to ignore it, but it's another thing when like this is your life, this is what you chose to do, what you're working towards and you don't want to do it properly, like do you genuinely want to go through life without ever having a single fully formed thought float through your head again? I'm being real, are you so dependent on AI or things like that, you've conditioned yourself to literally be unable to think for yourself, form opinions, understand text or deeper meaning or anything, that's how things get bad EVERYWHERE, that's how you get a misinformed population of the blind leading the blind, easily susceptible people who can't understand why we shouldn't create the torment nexus or why the leopards eating faces party would eat their face, too, like, yes, I remember procrastinating assignments, yes the school system is flawed, it's focused too largely on memory and rigid structures and etc., but this isn't the solution, if anything it's only further deepening the already existing issues of only caring about tests and end results, but in the end, if you play into it, it's not the system that's failed you, it's common sense. You can be better, you can do better, work smarter not harder does not mean don't work at all, give yourself the benefit of the doubt, don't hold yourself back, let yourself be capable of discovering things even through struggling and making mistakes, let yourself be capable of being smart.

[bloodlinesceo]

Credits: WWE for the pic & @tsunami-of-tears & @strangergraphics-archive for the amazing dividers!

A/N: I couldn't find this song on Spotify 😭 & I thought this would be the perfect theme for this chapter. So I had to use a YouTube video.

Part 1 (if you haven't read it)

Pairings: Roman Reigns (Bf) x Fem! Reader

Tama Tonga (Ex) x Fem! Reader

Summary: Roman gets occupied when fans meet him & The Bloodline. However, Tama takes that as an opportunity to speak with you alone.

Warnings ⚠️: 18+ Fluff, angst, swearing, stress ofc, emotional wreckage, dirty talk, mentions of sex, arguing, violence, past relationship, alcohol consumption & cheating mentioned. Non-consensual kissing. Past beef. The twins have no filter & Roman punishes them for it 😭 Tama is the villain in this, sorry Tama girlies. Not proofread!

Heads Up ‼️ This needed to be separate : Yandere Tama, he gets obsessive, delusional, aggressive & pushy. ( No r*pe it's wrong & I will never write that. Also respect wrestlers to not write that about them. It was tough to write Tama like this, cause we know he's bbygirl IRL).

WC: 3k

Tag list: @wishyouloveme @jstarr86 @reignsboy19 @yana3sworld @rose-bliss

(if anyone else wants to be on the tag list for the next upcoming chapters let me know!).

Of course this is written for fictional purposes only & is based on their characters, it does not depict who they are in real life. Respect to them & their families.

Enjoy ☝🏽

"So Uce, I'm thinking for our next merch, 'cause they the twos & we the ones?" Jimmy suggested to Roman. Roman nodded his head in agreement "I'm interested." "Who's they?" asked Solo furrowing his brows. Jimmy chuckled. "I hate you" scoffed Solo.

"What are we on about?" asked Jey taking a seat after returning from the restroom. "Merch ideas, thinking cause they the twos, and we the ones" said Jimmy, "yeet!" smiled Jey. "Which I don't approve of, so no yeet!" said Solo, Jey waved him off "our merch not yours, you don't have a say in this."

"Maybe I should get them to put yalls faces on it too!" teased Jimmy, "with an X on top" laughed Jey, high fiving his twin, only angering their little brother more. "Alright Jimmy & Jey, that's enough leave your baby brother alone" you laughed. "They're back" whispered Jacob. You looked at Roman, his expression changed from jovial to irritated seeing Tama & Loa coming back to the table, you kissed his cheek calming him down. They both sat down. 

You rested your head on Roman's shoulder, and you swore at the corner of your eye you saw Tama looking at you both with a blank expression. You tried to not let it get to you. You hoped that he's probably moved on by now, and doesn't see you that way anymore, but when Roman mentioned about him looking at you, he probably hasn't. Roman rested his head on top of yours, breaking you out of your thoughts.

You were grateful that you found him.  After joining WWE at the beginning of 2019, you met him when he returned in February & welcomed him back with open arms, praising him & his hard work & how much you look up to him. He was elated. You were immediately attracted to him by his warm & down to earth personality. He welcomed you to the company & wished you the best on your makeup career. He even brought the twins over to your studio to do some face paint on them for fun since they miss it like old times. Your friendship went on from there & then in 2021, that friendship grew into love & you both started dating. Like you mentioned to the 4 Fatus, it has been the best 3 years of your life, and you wouldn't trade it for the world, he is the man of your dreams. The light in your life. 

"I love you RoRo" you said to the man above you. "I love you too babygirl" he smiled. "Thank you for bringing me out here & to the movies, definitely needed this break from school" you said. "Of course" he said "don't overstudy yourself, it's okay to have fun once in a while too, but also keep that focus. That hard work will pay off" You heard someone clear their throat, you looked towards Roman's side & saw Jey with his arms crossed.

"What?" you asked. "I'm sure Big Uce ain't the only one who took you out, who's idea was it? Especially The Waffle House treat" he said, Jimmy agreed with his younger twin "yeah, where's our thanks?" Roman laughed "give them their holy grail" "okay, thank you twins for taking me out too, to the movies & for organizing The Waffle House lunch. You two are the best, yeet" you praised. "Exactly!" said Jimmy. You looked over at Solo "and thank you & your Bloodline for joining us" you smiled, making Solo smile too. "Of course, missed you & wanted to see you." "We love you sis! Go get that degree!" exclaimed Jacob. "Now seeing us hopefully you're all charged up & ready to kick school's ass!" said Loa, making you nod. "Will do anything to see you happy" spoke up Tama. 

Solo's smile immediately dropped, his eyes widened, he looked at Jacob & he shrugged taking another spoonful of his food. "I appreciate that Tama, thank you" you smiled, making him grin too. You felt Roman tense up, you squeezed his bicep for comfort.

"Big hug!" yelled Jimmy next to you wrapping his arms around you & resting his head on your shoulder. "Yeet!" said Jey hugging Roman on the other side. "Your twin cousins are crushing us" you said "I know" whispered Roman shaking his head. "Nice! Let's get this on camera!" said Solo taking his phone out & snapping a pic of you all. "I'll send that to you Y/N, it came out great!" he said.

"Thank you Solo, now Jimmy get off of me you're crushing my bicep!" you said trying to pry him off of you. "My skull's getting crushed" you whispered to Roman "sorry baby" he said lifting his head off of you. "It's okay, I don't mind getting crushed by you just not on my brain. I need that for school" you joked rubbing your neck. 

"Here let me get that for you" said Roman massaging your neck. The pads of his fingers pressing against your neck felt so good. It's like he had healing powers. You couldn't help but let out a moan in content. "Geez, wait until y'all get home" cringed Jimmy, making you flick his forehead "ow! That's abuse!" he said rubbing his head. "Ohh Daddy that feels good" mimicked Jey in your voice. Roman forcefully pulled Jey's hood over his head forcing it down, with a smirk. "I can't see Uce!" he exclaimed fighting him with his arms. He finally let go, going back to massaging you. "Rude" scoffed Jey, "yup" responded Roman. "Look at them tag teaming on my annoying brothers, they're meant to be" smiled Solo, making Jacob nod in agreement.

Tama huffed in annoyance, "what happened?" asked Loa. He shook his head & looked somewhere else. Roman rubbing your neck reminded him of the time he did it to you after your shifts in New Japan Pro-Wrestling. Since there were times you'd be craning your neck down or up to put makeup on the wrestlers, it'd hurt. You'd come home & Tama would be the one to massage your neck hearing you groan & moan in satisfaction which made him move his lips onto your neck, leading to something more. Vice versa, you'd give him massages too after his long & brutal matches at times, he missed it all, he missed your touches. 

After he was done, Roman whipped his phone out & texted the chat while you started talking to Solo. 

Roman: @Jimmy @Jey What's with all the hugging & clinginess??? 

Jimmy: Hey! We meant that! We needed one big hug, especially you Uce! Turn that grumpy frown upside down. 

Roman: @Jimmy stop trying to play therapist. 

Jey: @Roman Tama got all lookie with Y/N again. Uce needed to cover her 👀

Roman: I knew it, it was all for show 😒

Jimmy: I mean a bit, but we still needed one big hug. 

Roman: @Jimmy We're not the Teletubbies, we're leaving now. I've had enough of him. 

Jacob: But I haven't finished! 

Jey: @Jacob Damn, you eat slow. 

Jimmy: @Roman Y/N needed that hug don't you think Uce? She looks much happier now! 

Roman: You're right & that's all I want for her...is to be happy 🙂

Jimmy: Pretty Huuurtsss 🎶

Jey: We shine the light on whatever's worst 🎶

Roman: It's not karaoke night, stop it 🙄

Jacob: PERFECTION IS A DISEASE OF A NATION 🎶

Everyone: JACOB!

"Alright y'all, Y/N & I are gonna be heading home now. She's got stuff to do & so do I" said Roman standing up. You stood up with him wrapping your arms around his waist as he wrapped his arm protectively around your shoulder. "We need rides back home, Uce!" said Jimmy, making him roll his eyes. "You & Jey paid the bill for the meals?" "yes Uce, but you owe us" said Jimmy. "I don't owe y'all anything, you chose to be mean to Y/N so you had to pay for it yourselves" said Roman. "Should've just kept your mouth shut" said Jey to Jimmy. "Told ya he got a big ass mouth why else do you think we don't tell him shit?" said Solo, making his big brother give him a dirty look. "Aww, come on Ro. It was just harmless joke! I make worse jokes to them" you said laughing. "Yeah, and our feelings get hurt sometimes" said Jey fake crying. 

Some fans noticed The Bloodline & came up to take pics with them. "Sorry babygirl, you don't mind?" asked Roman looking at you sympathetically. "Of course not! I'm glad we had some quality time spent together" you said, pecking his lips making him smile. He grinned going up to meet the fans, same with the twins. Fans also came up to the new Bloodline too getting pics & autographs.

You told Jey you're gonna head to the restroom to freshen up & you'll be back, he nodded. You made your way towards the bathrooms what you didn't notice is Tama watching you leave. He saw that Roman was occupied & so were the twins, Solo, Jacob & his brother with fans. He quietly got up & snuck his way towards the restrooms following you. 

You washed your hands, touched yourself up with your hair, makeup & perfume, freshened your breath with mouthwash & left the restroom. You walked 2 steps before you saw a figure in front of you, Tama. He had his arms crossed leaning against the wall, looking at you. Tight fitted black shirt, dark washed jeans, his gold chain dangling from his neck, you froze.

"Hey Tama" you said waving awkwardly at him. "Hey Y/N, long time huh?" he said smirking at you. "Yeah, it has been" you said awkwardly smiling at him. "I'll get out of your hair, you probably need to use the restroom room right? I'll see you later" you said trying to walk past him, but he grabbed your wrist making you stop. "I don't need to use the restroom, I want to talk to you, but not here" he said. You started to shiver. You knew you should've went to the bathroom when Jey went, he would've been by your side coming out. 

"That's nice Tama, but I really can't right now. Roman's probably waiting for me" you said. 

"He's meeting fans right now & is caught up talking to them, we have time. Come on" he said taking your wrist & leading you out. 

"Where are you taking me?" you said. He didn't respond, he lead you towards a patio outside which was on the side near the bathrooms. You tried to withdraw your hand from his,but he wouldn't budge. "I'm not going anywhere with you, let me go!" you nearly shouted. "Shhhh" he said putting his finger in front of his mouth. You felt butterflies in your stomach & disgust within you. "Listen, hear me out. It's been a while since we've last seen each other" he said playing with your fingers. You yanked your hand away from him, making him chuckle & raising his hands up in surrender. "Okay, I guess you're still upset with me" he said. 

"Upset? I'm more than just upset with you Tama, you broke my heart, you cheated on me, treated me like an object. Did you really love me? Cause I don't think you ever did, I bet you wanted me for my body only" you fought. "That's a lie! I've always loved you ma chérie-" Don't you ever fucking call me that again!" you gritted through your teeth, cutting him off. "Ouch, okay, but still hear me out" he said. "What is there to hear out?" you questioned. "COULD YOU PLEASE LET ME TALK?!" he yelled. You were shaken up by his words & stopped. He saw fear within your eyes & regretted his tone.

 "I'm sorry, but please listen to me. Yes, I did a horrible thing years ago when we dated & it was very low of me to do that. I never should've cheated on you & I don't know what came in my head to do that. Even the days I'd come home drunk, I know I get stressed out with work & being away from home, but drinking & begging sex from you were definitely not the ways to cope & looking back at it I'm so disgusted with my past actions. Hell, after you left I beat myself up for it so much. I was a fucking mess without you, you were the best I ever had. I loved you for who you were Y/N, your bubbly personality, your amazing makeup skills, especially the cheetah print face paint you did on me, I adore it so much when I look at those pictures & it reminds me of you, your smile every time I see you, how you were never afraid to speak your mind when you saw injustice, your style, your humbleness, the way you were like my personal cheerleader every time I had a match, the time we spent together-" "okay Tama" you interrupted him "I get it, but please get straight to the point" you said, he nodded.

"I'm sorry, I'm so very sorry for everything for making your life a living hell, for breaking your heart, giving you a hard time. I couldn't even look at myself after what I did to you. My brothers & The Bullet Club gave me an earful after what I did & I know I fucked up bad. I regret losing you & it hurts to live in a world where you hate me, I apologize so much. God, I'm so cruel, I let the best thing go" his eyes started to water up.

"Tama" you said sympathetically. "I don't know what to say..." you trailed. "Just forgive me, that's all I ask for" he pleaded. "Okay, I forgive you" you said, a small grin appeared on his teary face. "But I won't forget what you've done, you really hurt me. I had to risk my job because of this. You made it hard for me to believe in love again. You were not just a love to me but a friend whom I felt I could always confide in & vice versa & not only that you need to apologize to Roman too for the shit you said to him years ago. You can't be near me if you don't respect my man" you said. "I know & I'm so sorry, let me make it up to you. I'm a changed man now" he said. You raised your brow "huh? You mean make it up to us right? Me & Roman?" you said confused. 

"No, give me one more chance, I promise you I won't let you down" he whispered taking a step towards you, making you take a step back. "I thought you said that all you wanted was to seek forgiveness? What's this now?" you questioned. "Yeah, that was to break the ice, but I want to give us another go. I'll treat you like a Queen Y/N" he stepped closer towards you. "Tama, you're getting too close" you panicked. He walked closer towards you, smirking.

"I can't get back with you, I'm dating Roman now & I'm happy with him. We're not letting each other go. You need to move on Tama, please. If I can, so can you. There are plenty of beautiful women out there who will love you. If you've changed, you'll do that & if you truly love me, you'll let me go" you said. "I don't want those women!" he snapped, making you jump. His voice softened "I want you. Why can't you see it Y/N? I miss you baby. I think about you every fucking day." "Please, stop. You need to move on! Roman's gonna be pissed if he sees us! And it's not gonna end well for you" you said creeped out. 

"I don't care what Roman thinks, he's too busy with his fans to even care about you. That's your knight in shining armor?" See? I'm better. I could never abandon you like that bitch, baby" he chuckled, shaking his head. You slapped him across his cheek which echoed throughout the patio. He held his cheek, breathing heavily. "Don't you dare say another word against him, you fucking psycho!" you yelled with tears in your eyes. He looked at you through his lashes, stomped to you, pinning you against the outdoor brick wall of the restaurant, making you yelp. "The audacity you have" he chuckled darkly before turning serious, " I don't give a fuck though, it makes me want you even more."

"Get the fuck off of me, you sick freak!" you shouted attempting to push him off, but he was too strong. "You need me, you miss me, and I know you miss my touch, right my pretty little psycho?" He whispered into your ear nipping at your ear lobe. You pushed his head away. He cupped your face in his hands & crashed his lips against yours silencing your whimpers, he moaned in content finally tasting & feeling your lips after years of craving it.

TBC...

A/N: Feedback is appreciated!

[sweetmariihs2]

A rant about girlhood, autism and growing up: feeling like you didn't grew up enough.

I grew up and I still love childish things. I love dolls, I love cartoons, I love girlish music and clothing, I love fictional characters, and overall I love the overall girlhood experience. But it's not the "I've grown up and I'm trying to get back to it" kind of thing that we always see on social media, what I mean is that I never really grew up. The years have passed since I was a little girl and I still love Barbie and Disney, but not as in a way like "I'm an adult, I consume adult content, and every now and then I watch some animated films, I admit that I like them, but I still live a more mature life", but rather "I never stopped being who I was as a child". All my tastes are still the same. I don't balance mature TV shows/content with cartoons, I only watch cartoons... most of the time.

I'm going through a transition phase now into adulthood... high school is about to end and everyone around me seems to have matured more than I have, even the girls who are known for listening to Lana Del Rey and wearing Coquette fashion, which is a group I fit in with very well too. Apart from the girls who are practically adults (and who already have a romantic and financial life, speak in a mature way, and are already considered women) I also feel more immature than the girls I identify with the most due to them liking "immature" things.

I feel mature enough to think and make responsible decisions; I have a lot of emotional maturity and people tell me that I give great advice. But at the same time, on the other hand, I run to my room full of objects from my childhood and spend some time reading, talking, and listening to music about characters from media that are mostly made for children.

One good thing about still loving the exact same things you loved as a child is that you will always have the same things from when you were little today, and you won't get tired of them. The bad thing, however, is that I feel weird about not "growing up." I guess liking these things is a part of me, but at the same time I can't help but feel like the gap between my childhood and adulthood is sometimes too small. I hear people talking about growing up, talking about the infantilization of my generation, I see others who used to be like me now being very different and it's a natural process... but is it infantilization even when I'm just being myself? What would be "infantilization" about my tastes in the eyes of others that to me are just part of who I am as a person? I don't see myself not liking my favorite genre of movies, clothes, music, art, just because I decided to "cure" myself from a supposed "infantilization". I do wonder if I'm unwell for loving the stuff that I love... but it's in a "am I ill for being who I am?" kind of way. It must be awful supressing what is in your heart because people see it as an illness.

I am responsible with my words and behavior and I often see "mature" people making decisions that to me are immature, like being impulsive. It's like I'm somewhere in between maturity and childishness and I get pushed back and forth by people on both sides of the way; I don't fit in with either one, but sometimes I do, for a short period of time until I get pushed back to the other side again. Too mature for children and too childish for adults.

I constantly feel nostalgic about things I used to like, and I feel like the line between past and current tastes is very thin at this point in my life. It confuses me and I think about people's words about growing up, but how can I grow up if I'm already mature and that's who I am? When I was a child I expected to grow up and turn into an adult adult, like if this would just happen naturally. Now I grew up and turned into an adult version of the tiny version of myself. Still and adult, still me, but not normal enough for others, apparently. Sometimes I feel melancholic because as a child I was free to like the things that I still love today without any judgement... well, sometimes. Let's not talk about bullying.

I watch Toy Story, I sometimes feel the urge to play with my toys, I feel like carrying them around with me like a child, but I fight the urge not to do it because I have to adapt - or rather, be an adult.

The fact that I'm autistic (I was diagnosed at the beginning of the year) also probably plays a big role in this, which is another situation that I've been balancing throughout all these years, as I was very normal for the weirdos and too weird for the normals, making me not fit into any of these boxes and consequently just being excluded from social groups for being too weird and being deprived of possible support and inclusion for being too normal. The fact that I hyperfocus on "childish" topics says a lot about my life and the media I consume, because suddenly my mind is completely occupied with things like Sofia The First, and I externalize this a lot. I collect children's magazines of this show, I want to have the toys, I want to dress the toys in clothes. It's normalized on the Internet for people to be from fandoms considered childish, the problem is that I'm often seen as childish even by them. Making a friend who likes The Amazing Digital Circus and having to explain to them that I'm genuinely very passionate about Sofia The First always provokes laughter and I have to laugh too and imitate a "hear me out" behavior in order to be socially accepted. "You shouldn't adapt to please others! Be yourself!" Unfortunately, this is how it is to be yourself in today's world, using tactics to remain true to yourself while acting like it's no big deal until that friend gets used to you like this.

Being an artist is also something that seems to be involved. I like animations to dissect the characters and understand the artistic choices in the writing, design, soundtrack. I don't just like a character or a work, I open it up and analyze every aspect because I love art. When I get a doll in my hands I look at its proportions, design, color palette, I know its backstories, fears and character development within the work they were in. I genuinely love listening to Disney songs, Barbie songs, My Little Pony, and even cringy anime rap... The fact that I am an artist and hyper-focus on animations and love having collectibles (mostly toys, since they are programs for children)...

You know that scene in Toy Story 2 where we see Jessie's owner, Emily, grows up and left her childhood behind, and in the end she gives Jessie away with her toy collection? I feel like I'm an Emily who grew up and kept loving horses and Jessie. I grew up, but I'm still the way I am, and even though I like that, questioning it makes me a little dysmorphic...

People talk about it like it's a defect, and point fingers to other who do the same to say that they're infantilizing themselves. To a point that when I go to the mirror and when I see myself I wonder how did I grew up so quick. I wonder if the problem is my body growing too fast or my maturing process being too slow. But I matured, I think mature, I just love childish stuff, and this makes me overwhelmed. I want to be who I am but being who I am makes me confused and insecure. "Am I doing the right thing by... being myself?" "Am I mentally ill for staying like this, acting like a child even though I'm a grown up?" "Do I even act like a child? I know that I don't, that's not it." Could my desire to be able to carry a toy around with me be related to autistic people having stuffed animals/objects to regulate themselves?

Sometimes I feel the urge to put a doll in my bag and carry her with me throughout my whole day, touch and admire her closely when bored, look at the fabric, paint and sculpt and then have fun taking pics of her doing different activities just seems so nice. I sometimes wanna have awkward conversations and talk about my silly little cartoons like I'm a child talking with not so many social norms like adults usually do. I wanna sit and watch my favorite genre of media, animation, without being whispered about or laugh at; and by that I don't mean someone who watches cartoons sometimes, I mean someone who only sees that stuff. I want to dress up like a princess and make tea parties because I love the simplicity and innocence about those things. Gosh, I'm even waiting for my little cousin to grow up just little a bit more for her to be able to play with dolls with me, cuz I want to go back with playing with them and there is not even a single living soul in my whole social circle that wouldn't judge me if spoke about this!!!

I feel like I'm a little girl in an adult body sometimes, but I do feel like an adult too. I don't understand if I'm like this because I'm autistic, I'm an artist, or if I'm doing something wrong, like infantilizing myself. I don't behave like a child, and I don't do anything for anyone, I enjoy my tastes for myself! The feminine urge of being confused and happy about yourself at the same time. It's a real struggle.

[heartsswirls]

Any Style fanfiction recommendation pls? Btw your sp fanart is gorgeous

..! Which App do you use for dijital art

RAHHH Thank you so much!! I use procreate for all my artwork ✨

Ooooh you are not ready for all the style fanfics I have saved on my phone...💚💙

Starting with my all-time favourite (and arguably the most loved in the style fandom)

The Scenic Route - hollycomb

Rated E, 116k words

I've reread it more than 5 times already, and every time I do, the build-up has the same intensity as it did the first time. All the characters in this fic feel true to the characters in the show, especially Style's dynamic. I think I love this fic even more when I first read it back in 2022 because I was also graduating high school and moving on to university.

Read it, trust me - it will change your life.

Paper Crowns and Waverunners - hollycomb

Rated T, 12k words

There's something so special about seeing Stan and Kyle growing up together and helping each other in little moments of time. The way they come to appreciate each other so much as best friends, not knowing this is how love between two individuals should feel. The gradual frustrations from Kyle are depicted soooo well in this fic - you'll love it.

I would love to go on talking about the other fics below but schoolwork is kicking me in the ass rn so I'll leave you with the links!

a quiet place (where I can scream how much I love you) - sleep2thefr33zing

Erendriel - roguendeavor (I can't find the link anymore on ao3 but it's an amazing SOT Style fic)

I Feel So - Brat-Child3 - (the writing was a little clunky at first, but it does get exponentially better + Style angst went crazy for this one)

I have soooo many more style recs but these are the first few that left a lasting impact on me, lmk if you want me to send you a DM!

[maxdibert]

I love this contribution, especially with the theoretical references, but also because I completely agree. Seeing things beyond black and white is a trait that develops as you gain more life experience. That’s why there’s such a drastic change between the end of high school (when you’re 18) and the end of university (around 22 or 23). Not much time has passed, but leaving behind a sheltered, childish environment to experience all sorts of things in just 4 or 5 years makes your perspective change dramatically. And let’s not even talk about what happens once you cross the threshold of 25, when people start getting stable jobs, moving out, having serious or not-so-serious relationships... Experience is fundamental to shaping your worldview and also for judging certain things. Adolescence is still a stage of physical and cognitive transformation, where ethical and moral frameworks are still being formed and are heavily influenced by a very childlike, binary perspective.

I remember that when I read the last book as a teenager, I specifically thought Severus had wasted his life on someone who didn’t even love him. I wasn’t particularly a huge fan of his character back then—I liked him a lot, but I wasn’t a hardcore defender. Still, I do remember thinking since the fifth book that Lily was kind of a jerk for almost laughing at him during SWM. So, I remember thinking at around 15 or so: What an idiot for being so broken up over someone like that. And it’s funny to think about now because I realize that at that age, I had no concept of loss. I hadn’t even lost any of my grandparents yet. Now, at 28, I’ve lost a lot of people and even witnessed some die. I understand loss; I’ve felt it, I’ve seen its consequences, and I’ve seen what poorly handled grief can do to people. So now I understand why he did what he did. As a teenager, I couldn’t, because everything seemed so simple to me: You haven’t spoken to this person in years, and they didn’t even accept your apology? You should just move on. But as an adult, you’ve experienced things that give you much more perspective, and it’s precisely those things that broaden your worldview and make you better at understanding the actions of others.

I get the feeling that these die-hard Marauders defenders are just kids who see Severus as that teacher they dislike or who was mean to them, and they can’t see beyond that because, ultimately, the world of school is all they know. There’s nothing beyond classes, homework, and tests, and they’re unable to put themselves in the shoes of an adult carrying countless traumas, a mountain of responsibilities, and, on top of it all, stuck in a job they don’t like, dealing with kids they can’t stand, who also make things as difficult as possible. Those of us who work, who’ve had to endure crappy jobs, who’ve stayed late in the office, paid bills, counted down to the end of the month to stretch our budget, and made dinner at 11 PM after a terrible day—we understand this much better. Because we know that being an adult sucks, that you have tons of responsibilities you hate, and that working in a job you don’t like is psychologically exhausting. And then you think about Severus, who isn’t just a teacher, but also a double agent, dealing with unimaginable pressure while also teaching, which he hates, managing kids and teenagers (who, once you’re past your teens, seem absolutely insufferable unless you genuinely have a passion for teaching—because seriously, no adult can stand you, kids, and you won’t stand teenagers when you grow up, and that’s the circle of life), who are also a massive pain because they’re always, always getting into trouble. Trouble that he has to sort out because his boss, Dumbledore, has appointed him the official babysitter of these reckless brats. You end up feeling a lot of compassion for him. Because he’s an underpaid adult with a crappy job, loads of mental issues, and, on top of it all, has to deal with a trio of know-it-all kids who won’t take no for an answer and always have to do the opposite of what they’re told. And that opposite constantly puts their lives at risk. And honestly, I’d be at my wit’s end too. I mean, you really have to reach a certain age to appreciate the restraint it must’ve taken for that man to limit himself to snide comments in class and not just tell them all to fuck off.

But you need a few years for that to sink in.

And I’ve gone off on a tangent, but hey, don’t hold it against me lol.

I’d bet half my monthly salary that 9 out of 10 Snaters who are also huge fans of the Marauders aren’t even 21 years old. And yes, age is essential to understanding certain things.

[puppyeared]

i feel like im not making any sense but does anyone else feel like there are stories that let u run with them and ones that spell everything out for you

[doctorweebmd]

so there's this post floating around about like, feeling like an outsider even in a group of outsiders and i almost reblogged it being like

'aha i do that'

except. like. i know exactly why that happens, and its 100% my fault

i just have trouble maintaining relationships because i'm a poor communicator. that's been the case since high school. i dont really initiate conversations or remember to text or call people. its not from a place of indifference or anything like that - i'm sincerely an 'out of sight out of mind' kind of person.

i can not talk to and not see someone for months or years but my feelings for them don't change. it doesn't bother me if people dont check in on me or don't hang out with me or don't text me. i still like them. unfortunately that is not how 99% of the population communicates. people (rightfully) assume that when someone doesn't initiate conversation or hang-outs or doesn't check in on you, that they don't care about you. for me, thats not the case at all. like if i like you and consider you my friend, you are ALWAYS my friend. i would do anything for you and would be more than happy to talk/see each other/support you/etc. its just the day-to-day communication that i really struggle with. but thats how most relationships form - regular, consistent communication.

i've gone through periods of extreme guilt for this where i sincerely try, and make new friends, and re-connect with texting and phone calls and hanging out more often but inevitably something happens, i get busy or i forget and suddenly all this time passes and people think i dont care anymore. unfortunately that's not the case whatsoever - time is kind of abstract to me and i dont understand that while my feelings don't change, others feel more distant or abandoned.

and i've really hurt people in my life like that. friends that i've known for many years from high school/college are a LITTLE more forgiving because they know i'm just 'like that' but still. it does hurt people. like i haven't spoken to my dad in probably at least a year - not because i dont love him, but because of that same reason. he doesn't reach out and i forget and it just steamrolls because he gets hurt, doesn't reach out because he thinks i'm intentionally 'ignoring' him, and i continue to forget, and its just this viscous cycle. i haven't talked to my grandparents in months. my mom knows better and texts me every week or so, but it still hurts her that she has to reach out so regularly. she also plays these games where she sees how 'long' it takes for me to remember to reach out. a lot of people in my life have done that. its like i'm being tested on something without ever being told its a standard test, ya know? i'm always destined to fail it because i dont know how long is too long. at which point will the time and distance be unacceptable? i still dont know the answer.

and i think it makes me come off as a really heartless and callous person. its made me kind of keep people at arms-length because i know i'm not capable of being a part of most people's lives. i have perfectly normal and pleasant relationships with my coworkers and all that, but i'm generally not close with them. and i can see the confusion, because we hang out and i'm pretty normal or whatever and we have fun and then they don't hear from me for months and they're like 'uhhhh.... okay? so i guess you don't like me?'

i do. i just have different relationship maintenance standards than others i guess. so i just overall avoid being around others just because i know i'll disappoint them. it is what it is but it really is sad, in a way.

[deadandphilgames]

oversharing in the tags time :)

[seaofreverie]

So busy with Sparkstember that I almost forgot that I go back to school on tuesday

[homeless202]

EY's reaction to finding out HJ used to steal as well when he was younger is so interesting.

How excited he was abt it:

From EY's pov, this straight A student he thought was perfect and never did a single wrong thing in his life, just confessed to having a criminal background. EY used to look down on HJ for his self-righteous and goody-two-shoes behavior. In his eyes, 'good' people like that don't last long bc they're 'sensitive' abt (in his eyes) insignificant stuff, and they often criticize and judge people like him too quickly. That's why he was so curious abt HJ and tried to figure him out, and why he pissed him off so easily. To him, it's a mystery how people like that still exist and manage survive.

One of EY's sources of frustration towards HJ was how EY thought, HJ thought, he (HJ) was better than him (EY) <- which was partially true, HJ did think "I'm miserable, but at least not as miserable as him". But HJ admitting he used to steal showed EY that HJ was not that much better than him. That he's not as stuck-up and 'holier-than-thou' than he previously thought. He had character.

After finding this out, EY gained a lot more respect for HJ. Especially after hearing his story abt how he managed to quit. HJ became a person EY could truly look up to that day.

[vulpinesaint]

i received the anon asking about the symbiote babies and i want you to know that i see it and i am going to answer it. i am right at the point where my readthrough is theoretically going to properly introduce me to the five that i am NOT familiar with and then (after reading a little more of the absolute carnage run so i can see a little bit more of sleeper) i will come back to you with fun facts and little screenshots <3 i think i can get through the separation anxiety run tonight and i'll get back to you then <3

[milkstoner]

I don't have an insta 😔

I do have to respect that honestly.

[montanabohemian]

so yesterday i had someone comment on a post i made on IG telling me how "offended" they were because i'd simply ended my post with the phrase "end the occupation and free palestine." so much of what they said was actually insane racist islamophobic bullshit and they managed to end their comment by calling all muslims terrorists and literally parroted the "they want to kill americans" fucking horseshit.

the person that made this comment was by someone i've literally known since grade school. i'm not close friends with them but i've gotten to know them over the years and never once thought they'd say anything like this. i actually thought it was a bot account for like a full minute.

i'm sadly not surprised at the rhetoric because that's where we are. we're right back to twenty years ago during the post 9/11 / war in iraq / war on terror fervor kicked off. i'm just. i had to fight this shit twenty years ago and here we are all over again, except this time with the added benefit of fucking social media.

if simply saying "free palestine" is so inflammatory for you, then that is your fucking problem to work through.