#which honestly if i can afford it i think i would prefer that bc idk shit about cars and im sure dad could try to teach me but hybrid might

[emoboy07]

sorry to vent on main, but i dont wanna do it on discord bc i use that venting channel too much and i dont have any friends to vent to in dms so its going here. it got pretty long so i put it under the cut

so i had to quit my job recently bc of my sleep disorder (among a few other reasons but thats the main problem rn) and i do online school so the only time i ever really leave the house is for doctors appointments. i dont even really have any irl friends at this point bc the only one i had hasnt messaged me in like a month other than to respond to a tiktok i sent and i dont even know how to start a conversation if i tried to message them. we used to be so close several people literally thought we were dating. theyve been my only irl friend for like a year atp. i also havent really been on discord that much (outside of venting and occasionally going into chat to say hi) so i havent talked to my online friends a lot lately either. what im trying to say is i basically have no friends atm and no social interaction outside of family and the very few interactions ive had on tumblr. which for family is also less than usual bc of my fucked up sleep schedule, and im not out to them yet so they always misgender and deadname me. i literally just want a friend, preferably irl bc im not good at talking over text and i prefer actually hanging out with people over just talking over text. but i dont go anywhere and none of the people my age in my town would even be friends with me, as proven by the several years of public school that i went with at the most four friends, one of which i recently found out didnt even like me in the first place, she was just there for the other two people in that friend group. not to mention my literally non-existent love life, i havent dated anyone in my almost 18 years of life, it would be nice to have a bf. or honestly anyone atp im not even gonna be picky about it. but again, no one in my town has liked me enough to be my friend so looks like thats not happening anytime soon. and i probably wont be able to move out anytime soon bc of my health issues. i dont have a job rn and wont be able to at least until my sleep disorder is figured out bc i cant wake up to an alarm so i cant guarantee ill be awake to go to work at any given moment. i cant make appointments on my own unless i can do it online, i genuinely cannot do phone calls. and i cant drive bc of my sleep disorder, anxiety, and slow processing speed. i dont think ill ever be able to tbh. and there is very little public transport in or around my town so being able to drive is kind of a necessary thing if i were to live on my own. also i have at least one surgery coming up, probably more but idk if theyre going to want to do my other knee or not depending on whether they find anything wrong in this one and idk when ill be getting top surgery so i need someone who can take care of me for those. and i cant drive so if i wanted to do anything/had anything going on, it has to be scheduled at certain times so i can get a ride from either my mom or my brother. i dont even think my town has uber or anything, and even if it did i cant really afford that rn. and i live in a small town with absolutely nothing so if i want to do anything other than get overpriced groceries or go to a dollar store its at least a half hour drive

[foliejpg]

sage @puppyboymikeyway submitted a bunch of fob asks from this post so here ya go <3 putting it under a read more bc its a novel 😭

tttyg

dead on arrival: which of andy's haircuts is your favorite?

honestly i liked when he had the short bob and it was straight. he looked more like a lesbian then than usual

grand theft autumn: which was the first fall out boy song you heard and liked?

actually its this song 😭 i remember hearing it in a hot topic when i was around 15-16 and going home to look up the lyrics on my computer, then listening to every album straight through from tttyg to srar straight through in order lol srar had just come out

saturday: best concert you've attended?

my first fob show is special to me bc i got m&g tickets, so is the albany show this past march bc i got to meet them again with my boyfriend and a bunch of friends<333 but the best concert that the artist has put on i mean. i have to come clean i am a bit of a swiftie and the eras tour was crazy 😭 and fenway last year during tourdust because patrick did wams during the medley just for me<333 that's My Song

the pros and cons of breathing: do you own any fall out boy albums on cd or vinyl?

yes! here's a picture because there's a lot 💀 not pictured is the we didn't start the fire 7" because its so tiny i didn't see it until after i took the picture lmao

grenade jumper: trohmania or bass spin?

i gotta go with the bass spin sorry joe<3

the patron saints of liars and fakes: last big regret?

i wish i went to the madison square garden show in march but i couldn't afford the tickets</3

cork tree

our lawyer: worst fob rumor you've heard?

i can't really think of one? all i can think of is that one interview where patrick says the worst one he heard was that he was actually 31 and not 21

nobody puts baby in the corner: favorite 80's film?

who framed roger rabbit, clue, and that's all i can think of 😭 i'm not a big movie person

sixteen candles: favorite fob mv?

young and menace, america's suitehearts, hmlag, dance dance

the music or the misery: favorite bonus track?

from now on we are enemies and my heart is the worst kind of weapon, but i like the acoustic version of the latter way more<3

my heart is the worst kind of weapon: last time you said something you regretted?

bro i can't think of anything i don't listen to myself talk 💀

ioh

this ain't a scene, its an arms race: patrick in cardigans or patrick in sweaters?

SWEATERS lemme see that fabric stretch

thnks fr th mmrs: best memory?

i have no idea lmao when i met fob idk i have a really bad memory

don't you know who i think i am?: which high school stereotype would you describe yourself with?

is "snot nosed know it all who thinks she's better than everyone else but is just sheltered and bratty" a stereotype

fame < infamy: do you like black cards?

i'm a fake fan i've never listened 💀 bebe is a queen though

folie

lullabye: opinion on 'elisa stans?'

i don't know what that means these asks are from 2018 but everyone should leave fob's family alone <3

27: favorite instrument

BASS. i love bass guitar i need to feel it in my chest

w.a.m.s. which job would you prefer, waiter/actress/model/singer?

singer bc i enjoy singing and used to be good at it lol i can't act and food service freaks me out i don't want to be responsible for other people's food and also modeling just seems awful 💀

west coast smoker: favorite 80's band?

i love the smiths and joy division bc i'm a basic emo<3

srar

where did the party go: bass lines or guitar solos?

bass lines a million times over!!!! plus sometimes guitar solos make my ears ring 😅

death valley: who would you most like to be greeted by in the afterlife?

idk my cat kayla she passed when i was like 6 she was a good girl or my cat china (my mom named her 💀) she was a good girl too. lots of good girls here

abap

irresistible: which mv was your favorite?

the original one with the basketball game they're so goofy lmao

the kids aren't alright: if you could send a message to yourself five years ago, what would it say?

run for the fucking hills girl!!!!!!!

jet pack blues: which was your favorite fall out boy era?

this one because they're all happy and healthy and living their best lives, having lots of fun on stage and being weird and interacting with fans again<333

novocaine: cause of your last time in the hospital?

uhhhhh i can't remember the last time i was in the hospital lmao

favorite record: do you collect cds or vinyls?

both! i have a lot of both lol

mania

young and menace: are you excited for the future of fall out boy?

of course<3 i hope whatever they do next is satisfying creatively for them because i would rather wait a few years for new music than have them go back to working themselves to the bone and exhausting themselves so i'm sure whatever comes next will be worth the wait, stardust certainly was<3

champion: what's your proudest moment as a fan of them?

i don't knowwww i really like the little corner of the internet i'm in with some friends and mutuals and i get a lot of asks/msgs from ppl so i like that i've made a comfy little space for ppl to talk about fob<3 does that count lol idk i'm also proud of them for like. still doing what they're doing at their age those crusty old men

wilson: if you could purchase one thing being advertised in the wilson video, what would it be?

WORKING MALE MOUTH

sunshine riptide: if you could say one thing to the band, what would it be?

i would say thank you for making art and i would also corner pete and maKe him tell me about the pool ball strike at the beginning of disloyal order he can't get away with this anymore

WHOOOO BOY okay thanks for sending all those i hope you enjoy this essay<3

[ruvviks]

❤️💔🐷😖🤓🍝 + vincent (bc i miss him and want to hear of him), reid and a bonus oc of your choice that you would like to answer these for!! :3

oc asks!

❤️ RED HEART — what are three of your oc's positive traits?

hanan is daring, gentle and kind. kind of simple positive traits maybe but considering she works as arasaka security and is tasked with keeping test subjects of one of its secret projects under control it's very special traits to have i think

she's not easily scared which is a good thing to have in that line of work, but it also means that she's not scared to sometimes break or bend the rules juuuust a little bit if it means one of the test subjects can be a little bit more comfortable, just a little bit less in pain. she's very strong and can wrestle anything and anyone to the ground but those same hands will tend to wounds SO carefully. and she's been trained to be cold and uncaring and even though she knows that most of the test subjects will end up dead anyway, she is still kind to them and tries to be a friend to them, because the words she says to them before they go back into testing might just be the last words they'll ever hear

💔 BROKEN HEART — what are three of your oc's negative traits?

hanan is erratic, indecisive and resentful. she will often want to do whatever feels right in the moment, leading to her being very unpredictable which can make her difficult to work with and this is especially a problem within her division, where everyone is mostly in it for themselves and her doing her own thing is very much not beneficial for anyone else

at the same time, all of THAT leads to her indecisiveness because it makes her wonder if she needs to take on a different approach. at some point, circumstances lead to her following others' lead a lot more, which gets disrupted when she starts seeing things happening she doesn't agree with and it makes her hesitant to follow the orders she's been given. kind of an intricate clusterfuck where different traits and circumstances are causing her to get worse which is not what you wanna see

the resentfulness mostly manifests itself in her ability to just hold lifelong grudges. it's very difficult to get back on her good side once she feels like you wronged her in a way; but at the same time it's very difficult to get to that point in the first place, so once you've crossed that line you must've fucked up BADLY to get there

🐷 PIG FACE — what is your oc's favorite animal?

hanan loves bears! they're strong. they look cute. very huggable. she's very upset about the fact that you shouldn't actually hug a bear she wants to do that so bad

😖 CONFOUNDED FACE — is your oc an introvert, an extrovert, or an ambivert? do they let people in easily, or are they more reserved?

hanan is an ambivert! loves to be around other people and prefers it so much over being alone but also gets very easily overwhelmed when it's too many people or the wrong people. not that she would ever let this show because she can't afford to do that in her line of work

🤓 SMILING FACE WITH GLASSES — is your oc chatty or quiet? are they at ease in social situations, or are they more shy?

hanan likes to talk but is more often quiet than anything else because of her position in arasaka. once she's in private she will just keep talking though, doesn't talk very fast so it's less of rambling / infodumping it's more like. idk she kinda has a storyteller vibe to her when it comes to talking? if that makes sense? very pleasant voice to listen to and she can make any dull situation sound like the most fantastic thing to have happened all month

🍝 SPAGHETTI — what is/are your oc's favorite food(s)?

she loves any dish with rice, mainly nasi and risotto! also likes potatoes a lot, mashed potatoes and fries specifically, but she will eat them in any way honestly. generally doesn't eat a lot of meat but she won't say no to a good hamburger

❤️ RED HEART — what are three of your oc's positive traits?

reid is charming, determined and surprisingly thoughtful, once you get on his good side and he's taken a liking to you! he's a very good talker so he's very good at making people feel at ease in a conversation. hardworking and doesn't back down easily so if he has a job to do, he'll make sure that he finishes it (which is part of why he ended up kind of losing himself at maxtac a bit, too lost in the "wanting to be good" sauce). and once he's in his "no longer evil i wanna be loved now" era he really just wants what's best for his friends and he'll make an effort to make that reality. he's very insightful and can easily act on people's needs without words and he often uses this to surprise people with things (mostly in secret; he will simply do a task that someone's been putting off or he buys someone a gift and leaves it on their desk, he doesn't need credit for any of it)

💔 BROKEN HEART — what are three of your oc's negative traits?

reid is arrogant, impatient, jealous and manipulative as FUCK. mentioning four of them because his arrogance settles down VERY quickly once he's no longer in a powerful position. getting locked up for a year in some safehouse is very humbling LMAO the arrogance leaves his body with the confidence that his position of power gave him basically <3

still very impatient though but he doesn't get snappy because of it, he's just imploding one billion times until the thing is over and then he can be normal again. the jealousy is also still a bit of an issue, he gets jealous VERY quickly and he KNOWS it's a problem so he tries dealing with it as best as he can. can you imagine that jealousy is what caused him to try and hunt cassidy down in the first place. boy if you'd just been a better boyfriend to him then none of that had to happen in the first place

his manipulative side is also no longer active for the most part, right now he just uses it to get more money out of aubrey's rich corpo cunt clients or he uses it while doing gigs but he's not actively manipulating his friends or anything. he used to do that all the time though, especially back at maxtac he really just wanted more power and he was willing to do anything to get it

🐷 PIG FACE — what is your oc's favorite animal?

reid's favorite animal is a spider! he LOVES spiders. he's obsessed with them. fascinated even. whenever he finds a spider at home he will just sit there and look at it. he can SO easily identify different kinds of spiders

😖 CONFOUNDED FACE — is your oc an introvert, an extrovert, or an ambivert? do they let people in easily, or are they more reserved?

reid is an ambivert though he Thought he was an extrovert for the longest time which is why he never really realized it when certain situations were draining his battery :( it mainly depends on the company and the location + external factors like how busy it is and how much noise there is and how much sleep he got last night, and nowadays he automatically tends to be a little bit more reserved than he used to be because he doesn't want people to get the wrong impression of him by taking over the conversation too much

🤓 SMILING FACE WITH GLASSES — is your oc chatty or quiet? are they at ease in social situations, or are they more shy?

kind of similar to previous answer, he's pretty reserved in conversations nowadays but always knows JUST what to say or ask next to keep it going and to like, not make it awkward basically :) he's usually very comfortable in social situations he just doesn't want to be Too Much and also if the situation itself is Too Much then he automatically retreats a little bit. he's a tired little man nowadays he needs to save up his energy he's getting old

🍝 SPAGHETTI — what is/are your oc's favorite food(s)?

reid will basically eat anything when he's going through a depressive/dissociative episode and it will be THE fucking best thing he's eaten all week. could be a tin of sardines. could be a slice of dry bread with some butter. could be plain microwaved rice

when he's NOT in hell however he loves pasta a lot! big fan of curry too, loves chicken roti, loves pilav, loves to make wraps with some chicken and veggies. he's not a very big eater but if you give him fried chicken you'll have to take it away from him at some point because he will just not stop eating until it's gone

❤️ RED HEART — what are three of your oc's positive traits?

vincent is affectionate, passionate and reliable! he loves his friends so much and he's always making sure that they know it :) he's very passionate about the things he does and the things he likes and he always brings the best energy with him wherever he goes which makes him very easy to like!

his reliability is funny because he IS very reliable it's just that. he may fuck it up first. a few times sometimes. he will NOT stick to the plan. if there's even a plan to begin with. but you'll have his word that in the end he will get shit done and he will fix any mess that he might've made along the way and that's very important to me. he's doing the best he can and he won't stop until everything is sorted out but he is messy along the way but humans are just messy in general and it's fine. he's doing just fine

💔 BROKEN HEART — what are three of your oc's negative traits?

vincent is disruptive, jealous and a little bit touchy. the disruptiveness ties in with him being messy; it Mostly applies to combat situations where things always end up a lot bigger than necessary because of him but also in regular situations sometimes where he's being very excited but is accidentally too loud / too present etc etc

the jealousy is a direct result of him being the youngest of. five. yes. i keep forgetting how many siblings he has but yes he's got four older siblings and he had to fight for his LIFE to get some sort of attention at home. in his eyes his siblings always had cooler stuff than him (which was definitely true to a degree) and it's made him very possessive of everything he has nowadays and he easily slides back into the "i want that too" mindset from when he was younger

that's also where the touchy attitude comes in play. he gets defensive very quickly and is prone to take things personally a lot even when that's not even close to what people meant :( he ends up being able to deal with it better over time because of the dynamics at home with vitali and mikhail being a lot better than back with his family so that's very nice

🐷 PIG FACE — what is your oc's favorite animal?

vincent loves so many animals but his favorite would be a cat :) that's why he's got three cats at home at this point LMAO nibbles (his own cat), sapphire (vitali's cat) and buttons (mikhail's cat) :D

😖 CONFOUNDED FACE — is your oc an introvert, an extrovert, or an ambivert? do they let people in easily, or are they more reserved?

vincent is definitely more of an extrovert but for a while after recovering from first johnny being stuck in his head and then from getting rid of soulkiller's influence (the thing that only gave him six months left to live etc etc) every social interaction basically kills him dead on the floor and it takes him a WHILE to fight that off

🤓 SMILING FACE WITH GLASSES — is your oc chatty or quiet? are they at ease in social situations, or are they more shy?

vincent is pretty chatty! he always has things to talk about but he needs to feel comfortable with someone first and once that happens he is never going to shut up ever again basically

🍝 SPAGHETTI — what is/are your oc's favorite food(s)?

he LOVES burritos (thank you red). he could eat those for breakfast And lunch And dinner and he'd be lying if he said he's never done that before. big fan of stews as well, loves korean bbq, OBSESSED with shoarma. won't say no to a good pizza either. he will basically eat anything though, and he also eats nearly everything with hot sauce

[toytulini]

not me thinking about trying to shell out to convert my fiat to a Plug in hybrid? hmmmmm

[meltwonu]

| 𝔲𝔫𝔱𝔦𝔩 𝔦 𝔪𝔢𝔱 𝔶𝔬𝔲 |     [Chapter 1] 

pairing; fratboy!wonwoo x reader

this chapter’s notes; fratboy!wonwoo, dom!wonwoo, dirty talk, masturbation, sex toys, mentions of sexting/sending photos/videos, baby this has hella plot lmao dkhf 🥴💕 WELCOME TO UNTIL I MET YOU!! THE MINI-SEQUEL TO CAFFEINE! A bit of a shorter chapter but I didn’t want to overload with too much everything in the first chapter, ykwim? 😎 Thank you so much for your patience with this sequel, I know there were a ton of people asking for a sequel for months after I said I would 💕😭😭 As always, inbox roundup tomorrow! And don’t forget, next chapter for UIMY goes up on Feb 26th! T|H ch 1 next Friday! 🥰💕 Enjoy ch 1, have a great weekend and I love you! 💕

chapters; 1 - x - x - x - x

“Mmh… Wonwoo…”

His hands roam all over your naked body; warmth spreading all over when he digs his blunt fingernails into the skin of your waist.

“Feels good, doesn’t it? Did you miss me, sweetheart?” His voice is soft, gentle, yet teasing; barely above a whisper as your back bows off of the bed to lean into his simple touches. “I missed you, sweetheart. Missed your ‘lil cunt too.”

A choked sob falls from your lips, followed quickly by rushed, hurried cries for Wonwoo to move faster.

“Don’t you want me to take my time? We haven’t seen each other in months.” 

There’s a smirk on his lips, eyes twinkling with mischief when you reply back with a shaky whine. “Don’t you want me to slide my cock into your pretty ‘lil pussy nice ‘n slow? Let you feel every inch of me filling you up, just like it’s the first time all over again.” He stares at you dreamily; fixated on the way your body chases his hands when he drags them down to your thighs. “Or would you prefer it if I fucked you hard and fast? Your cute body squirming and trembling from how good I give it to you and my cock slamming into your tight ‘lil cunt.”

Wonwoo’s fingertips spread your folds as he licks his lips; appreciating how wet you already were for him.

“Bet your toys don’t feel as good as the real thing, huh?”

You shake your head ‘no’ furiously, “N-no, god, no! Wonwoo, p-please!” The male grins down at you, pouting mockingly at your desperate, pleading eyes. 

The wetness between your legs is unbearable and the sobs are caught in your throat when Wonwoo leans over you, lips ghosting across your own.

“Okay. Just say--”

You’re shocked awake by your alarm clock; chest heaving in deep breaths as you sit up in your crumpled sheets. “Oh, fuck...” Groaning, your clammy palms reach for the ringing device as you shut it off and sigh.

The clock reads 10:02AM; tired eyes trying to blink away the sleep that threatens to take you back to the dreamland you much preferred. Although, dreaming about Wonwoo was becoming a little bit too common these last few days.

Sighing once more, you move to get out of bed; already finding your panties soaking wet and sticking to you like a second skin when you stand.

“Ugh... Damn it.”

You press the vibrator harder onto your clit; teeth chattering with the pleasure that pours over your body.

“Oh, god, please, p-please…”

Images of Wonwoo dance behind your eyelids; sultry smirks and teasing glances bringing you closer and closer to the edge of an orgasm.

If there was anything that the last few months without Wonwoo taught you, it was that you couldn’t afford to lose him - in more ways than one. And despite his lack of calls or even text messages, you held out in hopes he still felt the same way that you did despite the distance.

You sent him pictures and videos of yourself often; teasing images half naked, toys in hand, and videos crying out his name while you came. And while he took the time to reply to those with praise and adoration, he almost never sent anything back. 

When he did, it was always short, clipped replies of how exhausted he was and how he didn’t have much time.

“Ngh, h-harder…” Your toes curl against the bedsheet; phantom feelings of his cock fucking you hard and deep making you cry out in desperation to be filled by his cock.

Your phone rings on the nightstand next to you as you cum - vibrator pressed so hard against your clit that your back bows off of the sheets while your thighs shake uncontrollably. 

And for the first time in a long time, it’s an orgasm that feels like it’s worth something.

‘Gyu: hey did wonwoo text u?

‘Gyu: he’s back next monday he said

‘Gyu: idk abt classes tho, might be out of commission for a while bc jetlag

‘Gyu: thinking abt throwing him a party on friday after he comes back...

‘Gyu: u wanna plan with us orrrrr? U got a private party or sth 🥴😏

‘Gyu: lmk

You’re nervous. Shy, even.

After you’d come down from your orgasm and checked your phone, your mind momentarily went blank from shock and the first thing you’d done was text Wonwoo to ask if he was really coming back that soon.

‘Ah, yeah, I was just about to text you. Prof said we can go home early if we wanted since we finished up classes. I’ll see you sometime next week? Jetlag and stuff.’, was all he had said and in your excited state, the only thing you had responded with was an, ‘Okay, great!’, without asking when, where, or what time.

You figured you’d give him some time to readjust instead of bombarding him as soon as he got in. But each second that you knew Wonwoo was home, you found yourself itching to just be in his presence.

You just had to be a little more patient.

Wednesday morning comes and you find yourself skipping your morning class to go to the library.

For studying, you tell yourself.

The male at the receptionist table shoots you a small smile to which you awkwardly smile back before ducking into an empty aisle. All you knew was that it seemed like Wonwoo wasn’t here.

Maybe he’s still at the frat house, you wonder.

Sighing slightly under your breath, you decide that maybe getting some work done would actually help distract you from looking for the male.

You find an empty table, setting your things down before pulling out your phone. 

In all honesty, you weren’t even sure why you were being so shy and nervous about contacting Wonwoo, especially when you so unabashedly sent him nudes every few days when he was away. 

Although, with how things had been before he left and the prospect of actually dating once he came back from his semester abroad - the butterflies in your stomach had been nonstop with the different scenarios that played out in your head. You’d even gone so far as to plan what happened if Wonwoo had decided he didn’t want to make an attempt at dating you.

“Sweetheart?”

The grip you have on your phone only tightens as you whip your head around to find Wonwoo standing behind your chair and you swear your heart stops beating the same time your breath gets caught in your throat. “H-huh?”

He smiles gently down at you and you can’t help but wonder how long you were spaced out to not notice him there. 

“Is this a dream too?” You wonder aloud - Wonwoo chuckling in response as he moves to collect your things for you.

“Have you been dreaming about me that much, sweetheart?” You stutter and stumble over your words; embarrassment eating at you every second that Wonwoo has a knowing smile plastered on his lips.

“C’mon, let’s go get something to eat since we both know you’re not really here to study.”

The version of Wonwoo that sits across the cafe table is… different.

Not bad, just different.

His arms are much tanner and definitely more muscular and the glasses missing from his face lets you appreciate his eyes even more when they’re not hidden behind the thick frames. He had even opted to wear a sleeveless shirt; something that you weren’t used to when he usually was around campus in long sleeves and sweater vests.

Although, you can’t and won’t deny the way your body reacts to this Wonwoo.

“Hey, I’m talking to you and you’re just spacing out.” Muttering, he leans over the small cafe table until his face is only inches away from yours and the smirk on his lips already lets you know that you’ve been caught staring.

“Listen, I know I’ve been gone for three months but you’re lookin’ at me like you haven’t had a fix in all that time.” Your lips press into an embarrassed firm line, avoiding his stare as he raises a brow at you.

“Wait, you didn’t fuck anyone in the three months I was gone?”

“No… did you?” Your voice is barely above a whisper; a little afraid that his answer will be ‘yes’ when he takes a second longer to respond.

“Nah,” He settles back into his seat, “I told you, didn’t I? I was willing to try the whole… dating, relationship thing with you when I got back. Although, I’m somewhat surprised one of the others didn’t try to seduce you while I was gone.”

You laugh slightly, cheeks warm as Wonwoo teases. “I wouldn’t have given them the time of day anyway.”

Your entire body burns hot, palms clammy in your lap from how giddy you were to be with Wonwoo and it made your heart do backflips knowing that he’d still been willing to try with you.

“Ah, how was it abroad anyway? You… didn’t really say much over the past few months so I feel like I don’t know how you were. Just some messages about how tired you were...” He takes a sip of his coffee; unintentionally making you internally scream when his lips form a pout while he thinks.

“Honestly? Other than the days we were excavating ‘n stuff, it was pretty boring. Really hectic though, and a lot of documenting which meant a lot of paperwork. I swear, I closed my eyes and I saw the inside of my textbooks.” He chuckles lightly, eyes focused on the cup of coffee in front of him.

“I just want to say sorry for my lack of communication. I really didn’t expect to be so busy that I couldn’t even pick up a call.” There’s a genuine apologetic look on Wonwoo’s face when he looks back at you. “And the time difference was really rough too. I didn’t want to take it out on you over the phone if I was stressed about not sleeping or the workload. I know we can get a little rough when we ‘play’ but this wasn’t that and it wouldn’t have been fair.”

Oh.

“T-that’s okay, I understand!” Your heart does somersaults in your chest, “I--thank you for thinking about me too.”

The feelings you have bubbling up inside of you make you feel like you’re falling in love for the first time, all over again. “Um… Sorry I sent so many pictures ‘n stuff.”

Wonwoo laughs, this time throwing his head back slightly before he tries to hide his wide grin. “Oh, sweetheart. Don’t apologize.” Your eyes meet his and for a split second, you see the familiar dominating look in his eyes before he leans over the small cafe table again.

“I might’ve not had all the time to entertain you those times but I thought about you alllll the time. I missed everything about you.” His voice is barely above a whisper - careful to not let anyone else in the cafe hear the topic of conversation. “Which, by the way…You piqued my interest earlier with your question. You never really answered my question about having dreams about me.”

You shift in your seat as you avert your eyes from his; eyes flitting down his toned body instead as you mentally curse yourself.

“I… kinda? I m-mean… not normally but just--just these last few days. It’s almost been every night… I wake up and--and it’s just… I’m...” You trail off; somewhat shy to say the rest of what you were going to say even though you’re almost certain Wonwoo already knows.

“Odd. Me too. I kept dreaming about you, which is, honestly, kind of why I thought to come back earlier.”

“Oh?”

“Mm, we still had 2 weeks left, technically. A bit of a spillover since my professor wanted us to explore the city once finals were over. But I just wanted to come home.” He finishes with a chuckle - a soft look in his eyes.

You pout back at him, “You didn’t come home early just for ‘lil ‘ol me, did you?” You say it jokingly, but deep down you do wonder.

“Would that be so bad?” Grinning, Wonwoo sets a couple of bills down onto the table to cover the meals you both barely have touched.

“Like I said, I missed everything about you, sweetheart.”

Wonwoo walks you back to your place afterwards; laughing and joking with you as if he hadn’t been gone for the last 3 months. 

There’s a certain playfulness about him that makes your heart bloom and part of you wonders if he’s opening up to you more now that there’d been some time apart.

“Are you gonna be working at the library again? Or is that done forever now?” “Mm.. I mean, it’d be kind of weird if I stopped, don’t you think?”

The grin of his face is telling and you have to mentally stop yourself from letting your mind wander in the middle of the sidewalk. “Y-yeah... Studying in my apartment isn’t really the same, y’know…”

Laughing, Wonwoo takes the opportunity to swing an arm around your shoulder as he tucks you under his arm. “I was actually at the library earlier to ask about my position back. I start tomorrow.” Goosebumps rise on your skin and the close proximity is enough to make you whimper.

“I’m only taking two classes this semester to give myself a bit of a break so I’ll be in the library more often to fill up the time. You can always call me if you need to know where I am. I promise I’ll respond this time, sweetheart.”

Before you know it, the two of you are already standing outside of your complex as Wonwoo takes his arm off of you.

“Will I be seeing you tomorrow?” There’s a hopeful lilt to his voice that has you nodding feverishly in return.

“I have a morning class but I’ll come by in the afternoon? I can text you to let you know, just in case.” You offer back.

Wonwoo licks his lips, tilting his head before leaning down and kissing you on the forehead.

The soft gesture momentarily throws you off as you freeze but the smoldering look in Wonwoo’s eyes when he pulls away lets you know that he’s already scheming.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, sweetheart.”

[ready-to-obeyme]

[OM!] Reverse AU: Demon Brothers (+ Diavolo) Headcanons

- original idea came from this lovely post so please check it out if you haven’t already bc it’s so cute!! I couldn’t stop thinking about the boys collecting our character cards and desperately trying to complete events and chapters just as we are afjasldkfjasfjdts

Scenario: We’re the characters in the game and the demon brothers (or would they be human in this au??) play Obey Me! and collect our cards, play the events, etc...

Reverse AU: Demon boys collect cards of YOU instead of the other way around

Ranked from most invested to least invested in the game + headcanons on how they play (while stanning you ofc)

EDITED: there is also a related follow-up post of Reverse AU [here]

--

Leviathan

VIP VIP VIP

the man would die for every UR+ 

stans you so hard; cries whenever any new card of you comes out

a collectionist at heart, but he knows there's a fave in his otaku heart of his

every event holds a special place in his kokoro

Idk how he gets sleep grinding for all your URs considering how fast the events come and go without breaks in-between

If he had a terrible sleeping habit before, it’s WORSE now

honestly, this game right up his alley so he's an expert-- he's probably the one to rant about the game and convince his brothers to start playing too

"Add me so we can give each other AP!!"

he says, but he spends a lot of money to get all he needs so he doesn't really NEED his brothers to play with him

very happy when he gets to rant about the game with his brothers

Casually plays OSTs from the game, sometimes on blast and his brothers don’t even bat an eye because they all play the game hehehehe

cheers when he gets you as a surprise guest; uses wikis to make sure he does you right (he once made a wrong move and your dissent dialogue crushed his heart-- so never again)

never ranks below 100 during events

Mammon

baby tries really hard to save up for a good event card or UR+ but always ends up pulling desperately for your cards

relies on his luck to get what he wants, and when that doesn't work out, ends up putting money into the game

probably prays before each 10x pull and free draw

he's not rich enough to win aaaaaaaaa

fell in love with your character almost immediately and has not looked back since

you are Best Character; probably fights with Levi about who loves you more

gets pumped when he sees your cards; the other character are ehhh even though that's probably not the most strategic way to play

doesn't understand why he can't just have three of you on the dance team all at once

Screams whenever he loses a dance battle (“I’m so sorry!!!!!!’ he tells you as he quickly levels you up and throws a ton of glowsticks at you)

suffers when his brothers get the cards he wants-- though tbf he also brags about pulls he gets that his brothers didn't 

when did this game become a competition? 

Satan

f2p but he works really hard to get the cards he wants

diligently saves up and spends all his pulls on a UR+ card he absolutely MUST have

collects all the wallpapers, dialogue, and chats of every card he has of you

stares longingly at the URs and has to resist the very real urge to just buy stuff

invested in the story, the characters, the nuances, and the LORE 

thinks of theories and ideas on how the world works and the facets of each character

probably write on blogs and posts fanfic

...his bros don't know about that part tho so shhhh

The animal event really grabbed him by the DICK

If there is a card of you with cat ears and a tail-- hhhhhhhh

Spends ALL his draws during this event and invests all his time and effort into unlocking the devils flower and regrets NOTHING (o´ω｀o)

Lucifer

tries to not get invested

then gets invested deeply in both the storyline and the characters that he completes all the levels asap and grinds everyday to fill out the devil flowers

Takes break between work by opening the game

Refreshed with you on the home screen

Feels like dying when Diavolo catches him SLIPPIN’ peers over his shoulder and asks him what game he’s playing

Also feels like dying when Barbatos catches him humming the opening screen song

tries really hard not to buy anything and he succeeds for quite some time but alas came the hydrangeas 

he started off by buying some devil (human?) points… and it escalated

slippery slope-- recharge missions took him by the neck and then he gave in to being VIP (might as well, since he can afford it…)

outwardly calm about playing the game, enjoys talking with Satan about the possible lore and having something to bond with Levi

inwardly pretty invested: adores the interactions, remembers what options are best for each surprise guest dialogue 

Asmodeus

posts about all his Good pulls, especially when he gets the new UR+/UR cards 

the type to unlock all the devil flowers for the flex but also for the aesthetic 

scrolls through devilgram (uhh human...gram? so instagram) and unlocks every story asap

thinks the game is adorable whenever he gets to interact with you as a surprise guest

probably doesn't have a high preference for any particular card but absolutely LOVES the pretty ones 

love love LOVES the fan art that people draw of you

Hums to the opening screen song in the shower or even the opening video (that he voices hahah) 

gets frustrated when the levels get hard and he has to grind but so far hasnt given into buying anything

Not as invested as his brothers but he does spend money just to get a REALLY nice UR+ card like the rain event 

Water does wonders for aesthetics（=＾0＾=）

Belphegor

the game is too fast-- so many events for him to care about that he sometimes drops off the face of the earth to play it or drops the game and takes a break from it for a while

there is no in between with this dude

he can only invest in the game when he feels like it, if he feels somewhat motivated 

thinks the dance battles are funny

slightly upset when he doesn't get the cards he want from gacha but it's too bothered by it

has like at least one UR of you from an event that he didn't expect to get and that's good enough for him

the bed head cards got him feeling some type of way ////

had notifications for his AP during that period of time; has never grinded harder

Beelzebub

what can i say? the man gets lucky from free pulls all the damn time

least invested, but does enjoy reading the story and the characters; just gets kind of lazy when he gets stuck on levels 

does his best to level up enough to continue the story and unlock your gram stories but has a hard time grinding to unlock devil flowers

which is understandable considering the amount of URs he has 

i could probably see his brothers fight each other to get his account when he thinks about giving it away 

plays more often during events because he likes the extra interactions from the game with you 

Bonus:

Diavolo

Lowkey does not know how to play for a while but does log into the game just to make sure he gets his free pulls

His knowledge of the games grows EXPONENTIALLY and by the end of the first week

he’a asking Lucifer to add him, what cards he has, should he invest in this event or not

Lucifer isn’t sure if he’s happy with this development or not 

Definitely has Barbatos join in on the fun too :333

Barbatos somehow ends up being as equally invested as Levi but the only way any of them can tell is because he revealed himself to be top 10 at one event

Adores every UR card of you and asks Lucifer if he should just sign up and be VIP

Does get extremely lucky at times

“Lucifer, what’s the difference between a UR+ and a UR? Huh, why? Well, this card I got has a UR+ on it--”

Ranks probably above Asmodeus and below Lucifer in terms of how invested he is into the game

[aro-aizawa]

Do you think Crusader Kings is worth the price??

honestly???? idk. i think this kind of thing is always always always dependant on what your personal preferences is. if you love strategy games, it’s a good one. if you like a challenge, it’s a good one. if you can reasonably afford it? it’s a good one. like i’m not gonna lie and tell you that i didn’t hesitate to buy it but i did for a long time.

bc i have a reluctance to buy games if they’re over £20 and crusader kings 3 was twice that. AND if a game is too hard i give up, so i was worried that i’d only play like 6 hours and not play again. but i only bought it like less than a week ago and i’ve already got 51 hours. 

personally, i’m really really enjoying it. because i love love love doing legacy stuff, where i can hand pick my heirs and have them inherit, and you can tweak the game rules so you don’t have to put up w some of the bad shit abt history, like making it so that it’s female centered so you can have the daughters inherit instead of the men, and you can set it to be equal. some game adjustments disable achievements for understandable reasons but you don’t have to play feeling the crushing weight of 10,000 year old sexism.

here’s a quick fire list of the things that i enjoy and dislike about crusader kings 3:

you can create your own rulers

the events are fun and interesting, varying heavily depending on your character

i just had an event where i found a puppy as a child and i had the option to take it as my own, get rid of it, give it to a friend or take it apart to see what’s inside (giving me a permanent boost to a stat)

and i once had a random event where a servant gave me food at a feast and asked how i liked it and got suspicious so i went into the kitchen to investigate more and found out that he was a cannibal so i could choose if i wanted to become a cannibal too, kill him immediately or throw him in jail.

it’s a LOT of micromanagement if you’re into that kind of thing and it does have a lot of customization options. which is really fun!! it can be kinda awkward to do but it’s fun.

i just like the idea of being a queen okay, ngl i love love love playing royalty in games so the idea that i can rule the whole known world??? ......yes.

you can adopt a dog if you get the right event.

things that i don’t really like/wish should be improved:

there are a lot of bugs. like. on the whole it’s kind of hard to notice, but when you’re playing it’s ridiculously easy and bothersome. they mess up pronouns a lot, and sometimes the game will alert you to things that haven’t happened.

there is a RIDICULOUS amount of people sleeping with other people. like, no joke your spymaster will tell you about 25 different people cheating on people and having kids w ppl out of wedlock. it can be infuriating when it happens to people in your direct family, especially your player heir.

because of that i like making a baby the player heir when my character is close to dying, but making your grandchildren and great-grandchildren your heirs is difficult without killing your own kids.

ngl it’s kiiiind of pricey. idk if it’s just my opinion and it’s hard to determine how much a game should be worth, but i think that £30 or £35 would suit it better than the £42 i paid for it. you’re probably best off waiting until it goes on sale.

it DOES take a fair bit of time to get used to the game. i had to restart it like 10 times just to get the hang of it bc there’s so many moving pieces in it that it’s deffo overwhelming if you jump in blind.

either way, it’s not really up to me to say if you should buy it or not. it all depends on your preferences and your financial situation. i technically shouldn’t have bought it myself because i’m a week away from getting paid but i’m without a large chunk of my money until then because of buying it. i’d definitely reccommend watching playthroughs or guides before you decide, it’s what i do when i’m iffy on getting a new game.

if you’ve got the time/attention span to watch long videos, i’d reccommend checking out ManyATrueNerd’s playthough. it’s where i got into the game, i’ve been a fan of him for over half a decade so he helps my adhd when i’m playing a game to have him in the background so i was looking for series of his that i could have on and i got into it lmao.

[blueeyedrichie]

okay as a ~*~*distraction*~*~ what part time job do you think each loser would work in the 00’s au? (or any timeline you want)

oop piggybacking off my last ask to add that I personally love Richie working at a movie theater/video rental/store like Newbury Comics (idk if that’s a national chain or not)

okay i’m not joking when i say that i read the first ask and was like “RICHIE VIDEO RENTAL STORE” and then saw your second ask and i fully screamed bc of course we would have the same brain once again :’) soooooo

richie: i’m fully thinking that like he would work at some local place when they are still living in derry, and when they move away for college he would work at blockbuster and think it’s literally the coolest thing ever. like he’s FINALLY gotten to the highest tier of video rental stores. and the other losers are like “dude you do realize that like rental stores are a dying business right” but richie works there til the bitter end, a big part of that being that all the kids that come in think his voices are super funny, like whatever movie they rent richie will talk to them in the voice of the main character or something and it’s just really fun for him. also free candy, helloooo? and the losers are all v supportive and come rent movies from him specifically. and he also tries to get eddie to go into the 18+ room, and eddie’s like “dude we literally are 20 years old, it’s not like we have to sneak in” but richie just thinks it’s funny and so sometimes they’ll run in there together only to run back out giggling like little kids because it’s fun and they can (pls ignore that my timeline here is probably way off from the actual 00′s au i’m just ~doin what i want~) and i think toward the end of working here is when he’d really start to focus more on like his rtvf degree bc i love that for him and he’d get his first dj job while he’s still in school

eddie: mechanic shop!!!!!! let that boy enjoy his love of cars!!!!!! again, he’d work at a local place until they move and tbh probably have a hard time finding a solid job because he just has the little bit of experience from derry. but with the support of his friends and his determination he finally lands a job at a pretty reputable mechanic shop in new york (i’m just going with new york but i mean they could be anywhere) and he quickly becomes one of their top mechanics. he also is taking automotive technology classes and i imagine him getting an internship or something and getting to work on really fancy cars and stuff, though he truly prefers working on like old cars and helping his friends out. he fully teaches richie how to change the oil in his truck at some point bc he gets sick of richie always taking it in for something so simple and paying for it with his ~blockbuster savings~ and he also shows everyone how to change their tires :’)

stanley: i think stan would volunteer at like zoos and animal adoption places. at first he’s mainly just like a janitor and cleans up the walking paths and runs concessions and stuff, which he’s honestly okay with because he gets to spend a lot of time just bird watching and admiring the animals and practicing his bird calls. and i think once they all move, he’d get a position at a big zoo as like a guide and he would teach lessons on how to tell different birds apart and how to do bird calls. i think even when he does get the job, he’d probably still volunteer at animal shelters on the side and he’d be the person in the room with the people who will potentially be adopting to see how the animals respond and he gets to decide if they get to adopt or not

mike: i really love the idea of mike working in antique shops. i can see him falling in love with some little shop in derry that is probably on its last legs and asking for a job, and they probably tell him they don’t need the help but he is persistent and basically ends up just working there and while they can’t afford to pay much, they let him take random things he finds home. of course, along with all the trinkets there would be tons of old literature there and he’d spend a lot of his time reading. in new york, he’d probably be in search of similar shops that he can fix up and find more cool items, and he always gifts each of the losers cool things he finds that makes him think of them. i can also definitely see him working in the university library sometimes, but i think he’d love finding old photos and books and knick knacks and learning about where they all came from

beverly: honestly i think bev would work at a movie theatre, but spend almost all of her time flipping through magazines and drawing up sketches of clothing and listening to music. she starts at concessions and moves up to box office, and she definitely sneaks the other losers in to watch movies for free. she and richie argue about whose job is better and who has the better candy (it’s literally all the same, eddie will tell them) and she also gets to bring home movie posters and distributes them amongst the losers. she definitely gets caught letting them all in for free movies and has to stay late to mop the theatre floors, but little does her boss know that the losers will continue to sneak in anyway and help her clean up. i think she’d keep working there until she gets an internship with a designer. all the losers keep the movie posters that she’d given them over the years

bill: bill works in used bookstores and libraries, and also prefers to accept his pay in the form of taking as many books home as he can. he’s usually there on his own, and he always brings notebooks (this dude can’t afford a laptop yet okay) with him so that he can write his own stories when he isn’t reading. i also can fully see one of the gifts that mike gives is a typewriter to bill that he finds in one of the antique shops :’)) the shops in derry aren’t very busy, so he gets to spend most of his time there reading not only novels, but also books on being a writer and this is where he learns a lot about becoming an author. in ny, i can definitely see him being a library aide and i just have a very vivid image of bill on one of those slidy ladder things looking through the books on the top shelf and being mesmerized by just how much there is to read. even when he isn’t actually working, he’s in a corner of the library working on his original works and just enjoying the atmosphere

ben: ben works at a comic shop, but most of his time is spent sketching buildings and rearranging the store shelves so that it’s neater and makes more sense in the aspect of ~architecture~ and his boss is like in true shock every time he comes into the store in the morning and finds not a single comic out of place like he always did with the people that worked there previously. he draws inspo for big, fancy buildings from things he sees in the comics and likes to redraw them to a realistic scale and imagine what they would look like in real life. the losers of course love to visit him here as well, and they help him choose his best sketches to create a portfolio before they go off to college where he presents it to his professor who would honestly be pretty impressed by it all (and i’m thinking would prob be like “is this the building from ~insert comic here~ and ben would be like YES) and that’s how he gets an internship in architecture

AHHHHH this got so fucking long omg thank you for sending <33333 

[eredins-a-king-aint-he]

Being a Multi-Shipping bastard with a love for rare pairs is such a mood 😂

But yeah, I played Hearts of Stone and I really loved the dynamic of Gaunter and him (just like I loved and was unprepared of the tension between Dettlaff and Geralt in Blood and Wine XD)But when I looked at ao3 there weren't many stories of them and most of them were smut. (Nothing against smut but I want other things too). It's an interesting ship to look at all of the ways it could go. Either the angsty or even dark side of it or a more soft side.

Though it's also interesting to explore how Gaunters interaction would go with other Witchers. I sometimes like to imagine how hard of Stone would have been if it had been another Witcher taking the contract, for example Lambert.

I knew of the Letho/Lambert ship and I def. understand why people ship it but wasn't aware of Eskel/Letho until I saw art of it on your blog!

And on topic of crack ships...I kinda like the idea of Dettlaff/Lambert? It doesn't even have to be in a romantic sense tbh but I think they could have an interesting dynamic.

Response under the cut cause I like to get very wordy lmao

The first time I played HoS I was like “who tf is this creepy man oH NO BAD” and the second time my eyes had been opened and I was like “oH WAIT OKAY” and wow the noise I made when I heard him laugh right before the test thing he makes Geralt do???? Mortifying, especially because I was on call with two friends at the time, rip me

But also the way he says “business with you is pure pleasure” to Geralt(during the “bad” ending)???? Unreasonably horny, Gaunter, who gave you the right

(I haven’t put much thought into Geralt/Dettlaff, but it could be interesting🤔)

So yeah my first instinct with Gaunralt was immediate smut time but I have branched out more, mostly by asking for fic prompts, and explored them a little more as a pair with fascinating potential for both sweet fluff AND dark angst👀 I may explore the angst a little more at some point if the muse permits

Oh man at one point the thought of Gaunter/Lambert did occur to me but the main thing that made me go hm maybe not was that Gaunter hates when people are rude to him, and will outright kill them for it if he can afford to, which I imagine is pretty frequently, and Lambert is usually pretty darn rude. HOWEVER if he needed Lambert for something maybe he’d put up with the rudeness? I haven’t really worked out how that would happen tho but it’s a fun thought

I’ve also considered Eskel/Gaunter, but honestly I feel like Eskel would see Gaunter and just be like “thanks but no thanks” and Nope tf out of there. Tho as I mentioned I can defo see Eskel and Gaunter together but really only with Geralt involved too

I even briefly considered Gaunter/Letho but I can’t see that working particularly well. If Gaunter managed to rope him into something he would probably just do his job and then fuck off immediately without even taking a reward😂😂😂

One day I may explore Lambert/Letho a bit more, it’s an intriguing pairing, but idk how nuanced it would be? In my mind they would kinda just grate on each other’s nerves until they banged I guess, which I can appreciate, but with Eskel/Letho I personally hc them as being able to be vulnerable and sweet with each other, which is something two big scary burly dudes might not be able to find very often... and while I do enjoy the sexy times dynamic of Eskel being the soft and gentle one and Letho being super hardcore, I almost prefer to consider the softer side of Letho and the more aggressive side of Eskel when they’re together? Idk I just love Letho to pieces and I feel like the instinct is to make him super tough and hardcore and unfeeling, but I just want him to be able to be vulnerable sometimes, yknow? It must get tiring to have people assuming you’re a brute 24/7, someone needs to hug him and let him be soft

But yeah I’m pretty sure that about 25% of the Eskel/Letho tag on ao3 is my fics, though the lovely and fantastic @dravenxivuk is actually the one who got me into them in the first place, she does some really incredible art of them too!!!💕

And oooh interesting!! I have no idea how Lambert and Dettlaff would mesh?? Maybe like bc Lambert can have a sort of abrasive charisma he does something offhand for Dettlaff without really thinking and then they sorta become like drinking buddies?? (Basically what happened with Dettlaff and that nobleman whose name I do not remember lmao)

Idk!! I’d be curious to hear more thoughts on that👀

[5h4rk1zzl3]

mmmm im tryna avoid binging rn and am bored and we know how tht leads to it soooooo im gonna do all 30 days in one post :)

day 1- idk the exact tbh. dont have a weigh scale at my house bc everyone else is naturally skinny but me, im gonna try and buy one soon tho.

day 2- around 5'4 ehhh im not terribly mad about it but i definitely would prefer to be taller.

day 3- a pic of my thinspiration and why:

i really like how their shoulders are boney & the skinny limbs & the slight abs omg & the collar bones AHHHH

day 4- tbhhh i have quite a few fears:

-i wont look how i wanna look at my ugw

-stretch marks wont fade enough & will still be just as bad when im skinny

-saggy skin :/ im loosing around 60 lbs so i think that might happen idk tho

-people wont even realize i lost weight??? idk i feel like ppl arent even gonna realize for some reason bc i only wear all baggy clothes anyways idk makes no sense cos u can still tell but whtever

-ppl will still view me as the fat sister.... uh idk i just always have been it and i feel like ill still be viewed as it even when im skinny

-ill gain it all back ¿¿ kinda cliche but it already happened to me and i dont wanna let it happen it time.

day 5- yeah im doing it for myself mostly but theres alotta reasons like the main one being i used to be skinny and was so much happier and more comfortable then... but theres alotta smaller reasons like maybe get more (good) attention, get praise from ppl, can wear better clothes, idk not feel so insecure

day 6- yeahhhhhhhhh uhhh i think mostly it happens when i get mad and then i cant help myself :| i gotta work on that but ive been pretty good with it for the past 2 months actually i have binged a fee times but each time i worked out enough to kinda even it out i feel like (if tht even makes sense)

day 7- yeah but they think im doing it healthily because i lie abt my cals

day 8-mostly running on a treadmill

day 9- uhmmm no not rlly besides my parents... actually yeah maybe some of my exes friends :|

day 10- time tbh... the amount of time i spend working out is insane im so behind on all my fkn school work

day 11- idk i dont rlly keep track of blogs i kinda use pinterest for thinspo mostly

day 12-alot of string beans, strawberries & tht 45 calorie toast

day 13- its been pretty healthy because i wanted to avoid going down a spiral again. (eating 1500 working out for 1.5 hours) but im seeing no results and i been doing this for 2 months and now i feel myself starting to slip. ive been eating under 500 for the past week and starting to work out for 2-4 hours a day

day 14- 95, idk i was supposed to reach it by the end of july but now i think it may take alot longer :/

day 15- no

day 16- 2 months ago i used to be pretty skinny march of 2020 and then covid happened and i gained like 40 lbs in a year and now i wanna get back down

day 17- idk?????? sometimes i think i do but no im not diagnosed, like last year i used adderall to loose weight and idk if that counts as one but i wish i could do tht again but cant get my hands on any

day 18- bagels omg. so high in cals. so yummy. like i cant afford it bc ONE is 290 cals and then i always put butter so another 80 (relatively low cal butter)

day 19- its actually been a while so i had to check the door dash app lol. but may 1st i ordered popeyes :,) mostly for my family

day 20- none. i dont diet i just count calories

day 21- idk?????? i wear xlarge hoodies & sweats everyday

day 22-i think around 120, covid and a mix of my bf breaking up wm caused me to be super depressed and i gained sm up to 170

day 23- yeah i wanna look like all the perfect ppl i see

day 24- i dont like it like idk why ppl would be pro why would u wish it upon anyone.

day 25- yeahhhhhhhhh i did before but i learned now not to because it honestly doesnt get rid of all the calories & leaves u hungrier but i did a year ago

day 26- TBHHHHH having sex again LMAOO i havent since i got fat bc im too insecure

day 27- not well :|

day 28- YES. my mom & sister both have it and i want it SO BAD. i didnt even have it a year ago when i was at my lowest weight which is so annoying

day 29- sebastian stan😍😍😍😍😍LMAOOOOOO

day 30- 10 facts ab me

1- im scared of driving a car LMAOO

2- total insomniac

3- can run a 5 min mile (at 0 incline tho)

4- read ALOT

5- obsessed w marvel

6- in love w sebastian stan :,)

7- love jetskiing

8- gonna move to nyc in a year

9- love coffeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

10- currently am failing 4/6 of my classes

[epouvantes]

❛ jeon jungkook, demiboyflux, he/they ❜ was that kim moonsik? the twenty-two year old freelance photographer has been in town since birth. the witch has a reputation for being disorganized & affectionate. you know they’re around when you get flashes of ( mismatched socks, taking buzzfeed quizzes into the dead of night, dancing when no one is watching & believing in signs ). rumor has it, they are a member of the high coven. { samu, est, 25, she/they }

( OOC: TW: ANXIETY MENTION AT THE END OF THIS PARAGRAPH. hi! i’m samu, i’m 25 and i use she/they pronouns! i’m so so so so so excited for this rp and for you all to meet my babies!!!!! i wanted to make this lil ooc section just to let y’all know that i’ll be posting longer and more detailed intro-like posts for my charas eventually, but i wanted to be able to give lil summaries and connection ideas before then so!!!!! there it is!!!!! thank u sm for reading!!!!! also if i ever message you to plot, which i’d like to do with everyone if my social anxiety allows it, pls don’t feel obligated to plot with me at all!!!!! i love connecting with other writers and stuff but i’ll completely understand if you’re not up to plot with me and my charas <33 ) ← this is the same ooc paragraph in all of my first three intros, so pls feel free to skip it! <3

brief introduction.

moonsik’s parents moved from ulsan, south korea, to blackthorne about eight years before the boy was born. he grew up in blackthorne along with his two older siblings (they’re fraternal twins a couple of years older than moonsik), and had a pretty comfortable childhood! however, his mother left the family when he was only five years old, and he’s never seen or talked to her since. the reasoning behind her departure is still a mystery to moonsik, and he’s definitely still confused/sad about it, but!! i won’t delve too much into that yet!! i’ll def write about it in my longer bio/intro thingy later on, though!! 

his dad remarried, when moonsik was nine years old, to a woman who had lived in blackthorne all her life!! i’m not gonna develop the step-mother too much bc i’ll definitely send in some wanted connections soon (for her + moonsik’s dad, siblings and step-siblings! and maybe more?), but she actually has a really good relationship with moonsik!! he doesn’t see her as a mother tbh, but he really loves and respects her and!! even during his more rebellious phases in high school she was like the one (1) person in the family he always felt he could talk to!!

relationships with siblings and step-siblings are to be developed tm!! i’ll be sending in wanted connections for them soon as i said before so i might add a bit to it in there but tbh i’ll try to keep things vague so that they’re easier to fill!!

moonsik did NOT like school. like, at all. i think probably at least one of his siblings was like...... super strong academically, and it mayhaps played on moonsik’s confidence a bit to constantly see his sibling(s) get praised for their accomplishments?? and like..... his dad, siblings, step-mom and step-siblings have never put pressure on him?? he did so himself after seeing others succeed so much and wishing he could do so as well?? and don’t get me wrong; he’s skilled at plenty of things (especially visual arts)!! but having difficulties academically really did affect his self confidence :(

i said this was going to be short rip sdlfijsdlkfjsdlkfjsdklf i’M SO SORRY!!!!!

ok so!! outside of all the family stuff!! moonsik’s been exploring his gender identity for about three years now, and he finally feels like he has the right word/definition for it all!! demiboyflux is honestly a word he didn’t even know of until a couple of months ago, but as soon as he saw the definition for it (here’s a link to a simple definition!) he was so happy because it was him and it felt perfectly right??

he’s not exactly out to that many people concerning his gender identity bc as much as he loves who he is he just isn’t ever sure how to bring it up?? also, most of the time he’s fine with masculine nouns (boy, man, brother, son, boyfriend, husband, prince, etc.) AND he’s perfectly fine with both he and they as far as pronouns go, so...... he just doesn’t feel like it’s absolutely necessary for him to discuss it with EVERYONE, you know? but at the same time sometimes he kind of feels like just ranting and rambling and gushing about all of it, which is why he actually started an anonymous blog (eyes emoji tm) last month, and it’s been super helpful for him!!

he’s a freelance photographer rn, and he honestly really likes it!! however, since he’s not super well established yet (and doesn’t have an official diploma or anything like that - he quit university after two semesters), he isn’t making tons of money, and is therefore currently living with his dad and step-mother. it’s becoming a bit suffocating to him tbh?? and he’s highkey considering getting a part-time job too so that he can maybe make enough money to afford renting a lil apartment or room or something!!

super disorganized!! it’s probably one of the things he fights about the most with his family bc they kinda see his lack of organization as him being quite irresponsible (and they’re not completely wrong maybe, but still), and he’s never really done anything to change this part of him?? like, he’s always losing stuff, forgetting things behind, not remembering appointments, forgetting to send in important documents on time, never checking his voice mail and/or inbox, etc.

affectionate af!!!!! a sweetheart, tbh?? like, he’s kind of reserved so people tend to assume that he’s not the most friendly, but he’s actually rlly sweet!! he’s very openly affectionate with the people he’s close to, never hesitating to wrap himself around someone or plop down in someone’s lap or anything like that (though he is careful about who is and isn’t comfortable with that ofc! tbh in the past he didn’t take that into consideration all that much and he honestly feels really bad about it now, so he’s SUPER careful about other people’s boundaries now)!! also....... he will 110% deny it, but he LOVES attention. like he’ll wither away without attention i sdlfjslkdjfksldf

he’s bi and has known for a long time, and he’s actually been out as such since he was seventeen years old! 

( WARNING: MENTIONS OF SEXUAL ACTIVITY ) he’s had two serious-ish relationships in his life so far, but outside of those he’s actually quite enjoyed doing more casual sexual things with people he finds attractive/interesting/etc!! he actually prefers fwbs to one night stands and i can DEF see that leading to some tension in the future with some of his friends.........

HE’S SO PROUD OF BEING A WITCH!!!!!! his entire family are witches (maybe not his step-mother and step-siblings, though? it’ll depend on whether or not they get taken up as wanted connections and, in the case they do, what the people playing them prefer!), and he’s so!!!!!! passionate about it!!!!! he hates learning in school and stuff but when it comes to learning about magic, especially healing magic, he’s so eager and passionate and !!!!!! he loves it :( idk if his father and siblings are in the high coven tbh but!!!!! he is definitely quite proud to be part of it!!!! also he’s probs definitely one of the most eye-roll-y judgemental ones when it comes to what he thinks of the bloodstone coven !! he deadass doesn’t get why they would practice the kind of magic they practice and he’s???? like he wouldn’t be straight up /rude/ to them without reason but he’s def not as friendly as usual around them i think (though ofc there might be exceptions!!)

connection ideas.

CHILDHOOD BEST FRIENDS: probably around 2 to 4 of those?? i’m picturing this lil group to have been thick as thieves since they were little kids (although maybe one or more of them joined their lil friend group later on in their childhood and/or teenage years?), and i just really want a group of super close friends who know each other better than the backs of their own hands and who may tease each other mercilessly but who still love and adore each other (no matter whether or not they actually say those words aloud dlffkjsdkjfsdlkjfsdlkf)!! age-wise i was thinking they could all be between 21 and 25 years old?? ( 00 / 02-04 )

EXES: as mentioned earlier, moonsik has been in two romantic relationships in the past that were somewhat serious? one of them was probably a high school relationship that last for like 14 months and ended just because they did not click well together AT ALL but had gotten into a relationship bc high school and stuff, you know?? (i think that ex would have probs identified as a cis woman back then - whether they still do or not is up to you - since they probs started dating before moonsik came out as bi?) and i feel like mayhaps recently they’ve gotten in touch again and actually click quite well as friends nowadays, although there are zero (0) romantic feelings between them anymore (just saying, but..... mlm/wlw solidarity is rad tm!! it’s not a necessity ofc but!! yes!!) NOW THE OTHER EX!!!!!!! i feel like this one would have been a bit more recent?? and probably with a man or masc presenting person?? since it’d be more recent, and the relationship would have been quite important to moonsik, i’d like not to add too much to it here and instead work it out with whoever may end up being interested in that connection? ( 00 / 02 )

EMPLOYER(S): people who’ve hired moonsik for his photography skills!!!! maybe also a future/eventual employer for when he ends up finally looking for a part-time job?? mayhaps they could be friends of some of moonsik’s family members?? oooooh what about someone who knew his mother?? (although ig that’ll be easier to work out when i 100% decide why she left dslfjksdkjfsdkljf) ( 00 / ?? )

FRIEND AND/OR ENEMY WITH BENEFITS: ( WARNING: MENTIONS OF SEXUAL ACTS ) i’m thinking that moonsik probably doesn’t hook up with too many people at the same time unless he knows for sure that the other person doesn’t mind it? so the number for this connection will change depending on that!! also i reaaaaaaally love BOTH the idea of friends with benefits AND enemies with benefits since they can both bring in v interesting storylines!! also i’m not totally opposed to having moonsik hook up with his most recent ex (bc i love angst), but it’s definitely not a necessity! ( 00 / 01 )

DEALER: ( WARNING: DRUGS TW ) he did quite a few hard drugs in hs, which was 100% part of one of his rebellious phases, and although he doesn’t do anything too strong anymore, he does rlly like weed (prefers edibles to smoking tho bc no matter how often he does it he always coughs and it’s embarrassing!!!!!), and i’d love a connection with his dealer?? preferably one that’s kind of humorous?? ( 00 / 01 )

[bma-2020]

Okiedok here’s the delio. I have a list of all the blogs from the last six months who’s actively either responded to a meme i sent, responded to a message ive sent, replied to something regarding mally herself, has actually written with me, written a starter for me from my liking a starter call, has at least liked a starter i wrote for them to awknowedge it exists, all that jazz, i have a lot of open field so it’s not just a possible tumblr didnt let them no option anymore, because i send memes to everyone who posts them that i see. I reply to most peoples ooc posts. I like most starter calls I pass by. I try my darndest to actually interact bc i know how it feels to be ignored and its… i’ve been called one before so i’m using the word, thats fluffing cunty behavior, and honestly if you complain about not being interacted with but never even try when i try with you, ya being cunty, end of. I gotta list. That list only entails Mally because she’s who I care about the most. I’m probably gonna start instilling a new rule in all my blogs that if you ignore Mally and/or Darcy( @tasedandconfused ), since I would say they’re my two main blogs tho darcy gets ignored even more than mally does, probably bc i denied canon and left it entirely we know fandom hates that, if either of them is ignored then… Ya out of luck, I’m gonna unfollow you. I’m debating soft blocking everyone who ignored me on both of them but I don’t want to like be mean and deny the chance to eventually try again but at the same time i shouldnt feel bad for taking a stand and saying this is bullsheet, idk my anxiety says im awful for giving a fluff about myself but also i should give a fluff about myself probably, ive nearly died in the last three months, my brain almost exploded, i just had three root canals on one corner of my face, i have to potentially get surgery on my inner ear which i cant even afford, i dont got time to deal with only being used for like smut memes or like as a resource blog or utter bs like that, i dont got time for it. So new rules here. 1: If Mally or Darcy are not acknowledged, written with, responded to, viewed as more than just their fluffing bodies? ya dropped, im unfollowing, potentially soft blocking, which means blocking and unblocking for those not in the know, on all accounts I follow you on. Every single one. I know most of my muses are on sideblogs but despite not being able to send memes from sideblogs you can block people from sideblogs fun fact, i will do that if i have to. 2: I’m gonna be posting SCs, PCs, memes, etc. I like and respond to plotting calls, starter calls, i send memes, all of that. If I don’t get any response within.. I’m giving one week for people who don’t run on a queue and a month and a half to people on a queue based system, if i dont get anything within that time like at least an im being like ‘its posted’ or ‘its queued i wanted to let you know in case tumblrs a fluffbutt’ (i do this sometimes if i dont get even just a like on the starters i post so i at least know people saw it since i know tumblrs bs, i wait until the day they’re active to do so in case theyre busy yknow) basically i need acknowledgment at all. No you can’t claim this is abt follower count bc when you unfollow someone they inevitably unfollow you too, thats gonna drop my following, not as quickly as soft blocking would but i wanna be fair i guess, which leads to: 3: I’m basing this on your activity too, like if i like a think and you’re gone for a month after that its fine, im not gonna unfollow you unless you never come back or youre online and posting others just not mine because that tells me youre specifically ignoring me and im gonna drop you for that end of. I’m done with the bullsheet im done w the dillish behavior, i love friendship but if im giving and never receiving thats extremely one way and not gonna work. I check through my follow list weekly and i go back about five-10 pages on someones feed before i unfollow them to see their actual activity and see if theyre here or if its a q so. I’m thorough basically. 4: You dont have to be active with me on all your blogs, i mean i’d prefer it but thats hard as fluff so essentially if you have like five blogs and are just like trying w me on two or three thats fine. Ten blogs, four or five with at least a plot formed is cool. Multis just one muse is all I’d need. I’m not gonna unfollow the blogs youre not writing w me on if you at least write w me on some. Again, specifically Mally and/or Darcy. If you ignore both of them, we’re done. I havent been active on darcy because of being ignored and its a huge butt mess and im just tired i wanna use my babies, you don’t get to have my ‘better’ muses like i know a lot of ppl only follow me for my boys or my villains, you don’t get them if you ignore my baby. But, there is a limit there too. 5: If you never respond to a meme or thread even once with Mally or Darcy, or post a starter, i reply, its never replied to again after a month, I’m unfollowing and/or soft blocking for that too. Bc that means youre just raising my hopes to fluff with me or get someone else and honestly, youre even more cunty than than the people just flat out ignoring me if you do that. And this isnt a specific person, this is five of the people actually on my list. Yes, my list is also annotated with specifics again I was very thorough on this yesterday, I hyperfixated I’ll admit it, I’m in a fluffing depressionary bubble and being told to get over it because people want something they dont deserve to have to. I am a believer that people deserve good things but if youre purposefully being cunty… no you dont. 6: No I’m not releasing my list, maybe I will and I’ll omit the urls because I don’t want people being buttholes to each other too but otherwise, yall not seeing it im not giving a callout because… really thats just unnecessary here. I don’t think yall are toxic people or something i just think yall are unintentionally being cunty. And no I don’t mean everyone that follows me i mean the ppl that add up to what i’ve documented so far and fit the bill of butthat that i’ve shown, its behaviors yall gotta check before ya wreck. Yes there will be some people who have priority, everyone has those people, I write w kathryn on other platforms since she doesnt go on here as often but when Kathryn returns from war here (if she does cause she also agrees most ppl on this platform are cunty, i feel really bad saying that word so often but im gonna keep doing it i recently deleted an ask saying I was a huge cunt for not sending someone smut memes when I didn’t even follow them or know they existed so, again the travesty of this place is nutballers) same with owly, alex is here too, my most active partners are always going to be priority because theyre the ones who show the most interest and the most care. I understand that with others as well which is why I have the timeframe set up, because I want to be as open and shizz as possible while atill being firm i guess. I don’t want to have extreme double standards like its impossible for double standards not to exist at least a little bit but I want to avoid a golden chest full of them I guess. 7: I don’t have a seven rn, this was an even number and it bothered me. Seven is nust my warning that I’m bittery writing this on mobile so formatting is not real but i tried my dandest to make this look like something people might actually mind. I dont want to be butty, i dont want to be awful, i dont want to start drama or have drama but that shizz comes around anyways so i might as well make my space as okay for me as i can cause im supposed to avoid stress so my brain doesnt almost explode again, like again i almost fluffing died i dont need ppl fake being my friend or anything, i want stuff to be real and clear. I want to be happy to be on here again and have fun like i used to since my health is plummetting and I’m not allowed to go outside near plants by myself anymore because i welt up. I have plants outside my work place and im surrounded by chemicals all day long I’m welted from here to new york constantly and never comfortable in my own skin because of it and constantly see people online acting like these actual real problems are pretentious because ‘its an excuse’ when, im a fluffing sagittarius, do you know how much i want to magically be a millionaire so i can pay for friends and my own medical stuff and go on traveling and adventures, be outside probably not camping bc as a pagan i know thats a death sentence but like be outside, lay on grass, go back to swimming because i used to swim competitively and due to health reasons i can barely even go in a pool anymore because theres too much sunlight which, bit plot twist i know, im fluffing allergic to vitamin D and the rays of the sun, so go figure, attempts to be healthy kill me more, i also cant eat most plants and am constantly dying from just eating food, they dont know whats wrong with me. i cant fix it by going ve/gan for a month inf act i tried and it almost made my heart stop thanks society. These arent excuses these are the lives of disabled and diseased and to a lesser but still very real point, ethnic lives every fluffing day. This is real shit and its murder and online and gaming? It may be all I have soon since I can’t just go out and make new friends cause, again, I’d fluffing die. I get sick going to the mall or the movie theater, I miss theme parks so much but have to minimize it to weeks i dont have work so i dont get fired for having a welt while working in the beauty industry. I may have to get a degree online and change my field entirely because of my illness that nobody understands. People even make fun of it constantly online and I wish I could just drop online entirely because of how unbelievably ableist the entirety of the world is, i wish i could drop humans in general for their ableism, but i cant. I don’t have choices in most cases, but throwing away people who maybe purposefully maybe unintentionally thats why i’m giving you this warning and will be repeating this warning for awhile, this is where i have choice. I have to use what little choice I have in life while I can since everytime i go to movies or a concert or a theme park i almost die because of not having an immune system that functions or being in certain air qualities pr being near plants or unclean people, I may not have much time and I gotta do whats best for what little mental health I have, and if that means dropping people i care about and really want to write with and do things with but who ignore me then, i guess so be it.

[caughtinthestcrm]

     ⌞ʾ⁎ ⊰ jung chaeyeon, female, she/her ⊱ i think i just saw ELLA SEONG walk across trafalgar square, singing to HAVE A LITTLE FAITH IN ME ( JOHN HIATT ). you know, the TWENTY-ONE year old ENGLISH STUDENT / HOUSEKEEPER? people claim that they are just like ELLA from CINDERELLA**. it must be because they are KINDHEARTED and INSECURE as well… though i could be wrong. all i know for sure is that they live at PETERSBURG*** apartment.

TW: cancer, death, implied emotional abuse.

History

Born in Buckinghamshire, Ella lived a pretty simple life with her mother and father in the country. While they were in fact quite wealthy, they did still prefer to do a lot of the work themselves - if maybe aided by some staff.

Growing up, she did realise how lucky she was to live the life she did and so she went out of her way to not take things for granted. Her parents had always taught her to be kind to other people and be helpful, and she made sure to live by those words.

When she was fifteen, Ella’s mum got sick. The diagnosis came quick - cancer, unfortunately it was already at quite an advanced stage and so all there was left to do was make things comfortable for her. A few weeks later her mother passed away, much to the heartbreak of Ella’s father.

Not even a year later, Ella’s father came to her with a request - to give her blessing to marry a woman he had met on his work trip. He told her about how kind she was and how she had two lovely daughters and so she would have sisters to grow close with... While it did come to a surprise to Ella, she quickly gave her father her blessing. She knew how lonely and heartbroken he had been ever since her mother had passed away, and so she was happy if he was happy.

Things moved fast from that there and within the month her father had married and her stepmother and stepsisters had moved in and made themselves comfortable. Ella even offered her new sisters her room when she overheard them complaining about how theirs was too small for the two of them, which resulted in her getting the room in the little tower of the mansion. she didn’t mind though, not that much - especially after cleaning up.

For a while things went great, while she didn’t seem to be able to truly get close to her stepmother or her stepsisters, she reminded herself to stay kind and make things as easy for them as possible. Having to move all the way to the country couldn’t have been easy for them, so Ella helped wherever she could.

Then fate hit again - during one of his work trips, Ella’s father got into an accident and passed away. Ella was absolutely heartbroken to hear the news, but she still vowed to be there for her stepmother because she could imagine that she felt as much pain as she did. Unfortunately that wasn’t really the case, her stepmother seemed to be far more worried about her reputation and how they were going to get through this financially. Ella told herself that this was just her stepmother’s coping mechanism and went with it.

After her father’s death, things changed pretty quickly. Her stepmother and her stepmothers turned cruel almost instantly after they realised they could no longer afford the staff and had to fire all of them. They quickly turned to Ella to take over all the chores around the house, ordering her around to do everything for them. Mentally reminding herself of her mother’s mantra of “Have courage and be kind”, Ella went with it and helped her stepmother and stepsisters with all their needs - becoming their personal housekeeper.

Eventually they got tired of living in the middle of nowhere on their own, with nothing to do and so they decided to sell the mansion and move to London city. Not knowing what else to do with Ella and feeling some kind of responsibility for the girl, the stepmother decided to bring her with her so she could still be their personal housekeeper.

When she turned eighteen, the fund that her parents had set up for her was finally open to her and so after managing to convince her stepmother to let her move out, Ella moved into the Petersburg apartments, finally finding a little corner for herself. Her stepmother did manage to guilt trip Ella into still coming by every day and take care of the household however, and so she moves back and forth every day.

Her stepmother was kind on one behalf however, she was willing to pay for Ella’s higher education and so now Ella is an English student with the hopes of one day writing her own children’s books and being able to publish them.

Personality

Despite all of the hardships and loss that Ella has gone through, she still remains to be one of the most optimistic and kind people around.

She’s the most loyal friend that you can imagine, and will always go out of her way to help those that she cares about, even people that she barely knows.

She’s a sociable person, always excited to meet new people.

After years of being on the receiving end of her stepmother and stepsister’s verbal abuse, Ella’s self-confidence has definitely taken a few punches. She somehow manages to hide her insecurities away though, not wanting to burden anyone with her issues when they’re probably dealing with a lot themselves. Though she’s always there to be a listening ear for others and ready to help where she can.

She’s got a wild imagination, which is part of the reason why she wants to write children’s books. On top of that she also loves animals.

While she can’t stand up for herself, she won’t hesitate to stand up for others when she sees that they’re being mistreated and will make sure that their issues are heard, going about it her own way with a more gentle touch than some.

Having taken care of her stepmother’s household since she was barely sixteen, Ella’s gotten a lot of skills. She’s good a cleaning, cooking, baking, sewing - pretty much all of it.

She always carries a little notebook with her in which she writes down ideas she gets throughout the day and draws little doodles in and such, it’s probably her most prized possession next to her mother’s necklace.

Possible connections

Give me her stepmother and stepsisters tbh -- just do it

Also give me Topher bc yes

Friends, give her all the friends

People who become protective of her

Questionable figures - as in someone that she considers her friend but is really just taking advantage of her kindness and willingness to help

People she knows from uni

Honestly, give me someone that she’ll have an innocent lil’ crush on that she definitely won’t act on lbr

Maybe someone that has a crush on her, but she’s so blind to it and just thinks they’re a wonderful friend?

Idk anymore, just give me everything!!

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #255

“who gives a fuck if they hate you; you’re the god that they pray to.”

How many pillows do you sleep with? Two. Could you go a day not talking to the last person you kissed? It would suck. What was the last song you listened to that made you cry? I didn't like, sob, but "Another Life" by Motionless In White does it. Your ex REALLY needs you at 3am and you have a way to their house would you go? Well, I can't with Sara considering she lives two hours away, and that's by plane. If she lived here, duh. For Girt or Jason, yes. Without saying any names what is one thing that you would like to say to someone(s)? I'm sorry. Would your parents get mad if you got drunk while they were present? No. Would you date someone who lived in another state? Eh, maybe. I don't know if I want to do long-distance again. I mean I probably would, but idk. Are you friends with your ex? Sara and Girt, yes. Who is the person you last texted? Sara. When’s the last time you told people you were fine, but really weren’t? I dunno, I honestly don't lie about that often. When was the last time you wanted to punch someone in their face? Months back when I found out the shit my therapist said about me and disability. Not only did I want to knock her jaw off, but I sobbed for like, a long-ass time. Who did you spend your summer with last year? Just Mom, really. ... Or wait, maybe that was the summer Sara was here??? My memory is such shit, idk if that was last year or the one before. What’s bothering you right now? Stress about dropping out. Have you lost friends in the past year? I don't think so, at least. Have you and the last person you kissed ever talked about going out? We did date. If the person you’re dating said they were falling in love with you, what would you do? I'm not dating anyone. Who was the last person you were in love with for more than a year? Sara. Do you have a secret life? RP stays a pretty big secret. Have you ever seen the last person you kissed without a shirt? Yes. Do your parents know EVERYTHING about you? No. What are you watching? Nothing rn, surprisingly. I'm listening to music. Are you friends with your best friend’s boyfriend or girlfriend? She's single. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive? Yeah. There’s a serial killer in your house, what do you do? Jump out the window. If the last person you kissed went back to their first love, what would you do? I think I am hers. Do you own any bug spray? No, not currently. We need some damn wasp killer. Every spring/summer, they build a nest literally right above our back door. Are you a good gift giver? Honestly think I'm really good at it. I always try to put a load of thought into it. What's the longest trip you’ve ever been on? The drives to either NY or Florida. I can't remember which is further. Are you a daughter or son-in-law? No. Do you know anyone in the military? Multiple people. Do you like your significant other's siblings? N/A Have you ever received a singing birthday card? Yeah. Those always suck when you open them and boom, loud singing to an obnoxious song. Do you own anything made by APPLE? My iPod. Have you ever tried Hamburger helper? Yeah, that was a semi-frequent dinner as a kid. I never liked it that much, though. What was your first car's color? N/A Do you have a best friend? Ye. Do you remember who your Kindergarten teacher was? I do. Do you have a favorite president? A least favorite? No, considering I don't know enough about any and their policies. Can you french braid? No. Were you ever a girl scout or a boy scout? I was as a tiny kid. I met my first best friend that way. What's your least favorite color? I'm just gonna use the very basic colors: yellow or green. Do you know anyone in jail? Not currently. Do you have kids? Ew. What's the strangest name you’ve ever heard? Apples. Yes. I'm serious. How old were you when you learned to walk? Idk. Do you own anything made of lace? Yeah. What's your favorite football team? Idc. What kind of bubble gum do you chew? Just about any. Fruity is my favorite. Do you wear a one-piece bathing suit or two-piece, a speedo or trunks? NOBODY needs to see me in a two-piece. Did you go to your senior prom? Yes. Do you support a charity? Well of course. I used to give coins to those super-old charity things for sick kids back in the day, but I can't remember the exact charity it was. I also donated hair to Children With Hair Loss a couple years back. I haven't donated to any other that I know of bc no personal income and I don't ask my parents for money really, but boy have I wanted to. I always use that Facebook feature where you pick a charity to share and ask for donations for your birthday, though; I've done the Trevor Project and one for pancreatic cancer in honor of my grandmother. I don't remember the others. Do you pop your knuckles? EW no please don't in my presence @ Sara. Do you scrapbook? No. I just don't have the creative drive and dedication to. If you could change your eye color would you and to what color? A much brighter blue. Have you ever had braces? For a long-ass time because we couldn't afford to take them off. One tooth is pushed too far back because of it. Imagine your dream home, does it have a fence around it? No. I want to live in the woods where *that's* my yard. When were you the saddest in your whole life? 2016 OH WOWIE WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Have you ever seen a ghost? I definitely believe I have. Are you a virgin? No. How many books do you read a month? I like, just started reading again, so I can't say. Can you type fast? Very. In school were you bullied? I'm extremely thankful I wasn't. Have you ever swam in the ocean? Yes, I love it. Do you own a boat? Not me myself, no. Dad does. What about a camper? No. Do you read the newspaper? No. Are you on any teams? Team Mystic in Pokemon Go *waggles fist @ criticism* If you died today where do you think you’d go? Idk. Who really knows what happens when you die. I hope it's some serene existence, but, *shrugs*. Do you know anyone who is pregnant? Ummmm I don't think so. Who is the first contact in your cell phone? Best friend! :') What color are you bed sheets? The one I'm using now is light blue. Do you use online dating? I cannot FUCKING believe I was briefly on Christian Mingle I would actually rather die- How often are you sick? Extremely rarely. Did/Do you miss a lot of school? Eh. I had my mental health days and had to leave early a lot. Do you like scented candles? Yeah man. When was the last time you were told you were pretty/beautiful/gorgeous? When I recently changed my FB picture after forever. Do you hate the last guy, other than family, you had a conversation with? No. What’s the last thing that made you laugh? Roman being silly. If someone were to ask you out right now would you say yes? I don't know. Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone? Yeah. Name four things you want right now: My fucking tattoo updated laksjdlflw, a healthy goddamn weight, my laptop, and a tarantula omg. Do you prefer to hold or be held? I mean, it depends on who we're talking about. I guess generally held? Are you currently wanting any piercings? You have no idea. Are you afraid of falling in love? Very. What was the last thing that made you feel like your life was complete? lol I've never felt that. You ever slept on the floor with someone you liked? Yeah. Do you still speak to any of your classmates from elementary school? Off the very top of my head, no. Does it take a lot to make you cry? NOPE. What is the wallpaper on your computer screen? Why did you choose it? One of my favorite pictures of Teddy, because I adore and miss him. Is there a pattern on the pants you’re currently wearing? Which one? Plaid. Do you like going to baby showers? Do you go only for the cake? I mean, not especially. They're crowded and it's a bad association anyway since it was the last time I hung out with Jason. The cake is indeed the best part, lmao. Mexican food, Chinese food, Italian food, French food or American food? American. What is the color scheme of your absolute favorite fast-food restaurant? Red, yellow, and blue. Do people ever ask you to do things they’re too short to accomplish? Very rarely. I'm not all that tall. Is there carpet or hardwood floor in your bedroom? Carpet. Do you believe in superstitious things such as breaking a mirror? No. Do you get sick of people who call themselves bipolar all the time? As someone who is bipolar, very much so, yes. Ever have an ultra-sound performed on you? What was it for? Yes, for my liver. I was fine. Do you like those "end of the world," "Armageddon" movies? Not especially. Ever been choked severely on something during lunch at your school? No. Do you remember who you sat next to in Kindergarten? Who was it? No. Has anyone ever compared you to an animal? Which one(s)? No. Do you eat more vegetables or fruits? What’s your favorite fruit/veggie? Fruits, by far. Strawberries and broccoli. Something on the human body that grosses you out the most: This is not intentional or meant to be discriminatory of those with 'em, but penises literally repulse me visually. Do you like meeting new people? What’s your most common greeting? Yeah, even though I'm scared. I think I say "hi" or "hey" most. What is something that bothers you about most surveys in general? Extremely heteronormative. Would you survive if zombies were to take over the world? Why or why not? HA no. I'm an anxious mess that is not fast or nimble in any way. What is your favorite color of apple? Red, green or yellow? I like the reddish/yellowish ones. Do you live anywhere near a mall? Maybe like, 15-20 mins away. If you were dying who would you say goodbye to first out of everyone? My mom. Are you someone who actually likes to babysit children? NO. What’s your favorite lunch meat, if you even like any in the first place? Honey ham. Would you rather write with a pen or a pencil? Why is this? Pencil, by far. You can erase. Scibbling stuff out looks messy. Have you ever wanted to be in a band? What position exactly? I am NOT kidding: one of the motivating factors of me going back to public school after 8th grade was the idea of making new friends and maybe making a band to be the guitarist lmfao. Who is your role model or hero in life if you have one? I have multiple for different reasons, but #1's gotta be Mark, man. Were you a really mean kid or a sweet and quiet kid? I was a really friendly kiddo. Do you keep secrets from your parents that you don’t keep from your friends? I don't think so. What is your father’s best friend’s name? Do you know them personally? Idk who that would be. Ever submit a video to America’s Funniest Home Videos? I don't believe we have. The most painful medical procedure you’ve ever had? Jesus fuck, I wouldn't wish having an infected cyst drained without NEARLY enough numbing medication on the goddamn devil. Are you someone who likes to eat Poptarts? What’s your favorite flavor? Yeah. I like the chocolate sundae one most. Ever have a dream you’re being abducted by aliens? Was it scary? No. What is your favorite flavor of Doritos? What do you drink with them? MMMMMMMMMMM cool ranch. Usually soda with chips. What is your favorite nickname you like to be called? Why do you like it? Ozzy. *shrugs* I like my online nickname and the "y" added sounds kinda affectionate ig. Do you already have your outfit for tomorrow planned out? I don’t plan my outfits. Has your favorite song ever been featured on a commercial? No. What would you say was the best year of your life? Why? 2017. SO MUCH DEVELOPMENT AND HEALING!!!!!!! Have you ever been pulled over by the cops for speeding? No. Is anyone in your family a firefighter? Who is it anyway? No.

[rcserph]

on a scale of 1-10, how excited are you about life right now? sdjlgsj this got sad very fast. ummmm.......3.

describe yourself in a hashtag? #i am an OA stan first human second

if you could do a love scene with anyone, who would it be? i can’t believe i even had to think about it. riz ahmed, please!

what’s one thing people don’t know about you? i sing!

what’s your wake up ritual? i wake up and then i just lie in bed until my dog starts scratching on the door and my mom goes “she’s asleep!” then i get up, open the door, and surprise her.

what’s your go to bed ritual? i stay up until 7 am and then go “alright. it’s time.” and i turn off the lights & go to sleep.

what’s your favorite time of day? late at night. like 3 am maybe.

your go to for having a good laugh? lately it’s been community, but a kurtis conner vid/podcast is always good too.

what’s the biggest surprise you’ve ever had? umm...... is it sad that i can’t think of anything? maybe when i passed my admin class fjslsdlgjs

heels or flats/sneakers? sneakers.

vintage or new? i looooove the vintage vibe & aesthetic but do i ever buy vintage???? no. so ig new things that look vintage and maybe when i have enough money to afford vintage i’ll get myself some cool band tee’s and furniture

who do you want to write your obituary? i don’t want to think about this. but i guess it’d be cool if stephen king wrote it. he could insert me into one of his stories in the obit, like maybe say i died at the overlook hotel idk idk.

style icon? i don’t have one!!!!!!!!!! actually that’s not true. kel lauren. 

what are three things you cannot live without? my family, my friends & my pup

what’s one ingredient you put in everything? nooch. sfkjlgls. i’m a good vegan sometimes. nutritional yeast babyyyyy.

what 3 people living or dead would you want to make dinner for? oh god i can’t coOK. i want to say samah dada bc i love her but also she actually knows how to cook so... mm scary. maybe her, harry styles & AOC.

window or aisle seat? window. 

what’s your current tv obsession? community! i appreciate netflix so much for putting it on there – i’ve been trying to watch it for yeaarsssss

favorite app? toon/toy blast

how would you define yourself in three words? obsessive, empathetic & curious

favorite piece of clothing you own? my beatles shirt honestly. & my jean jacket.

a must have clothing item that everyone should have? ummmm i mean i feel like everyone should have a pair of shoes they enjoy wearing? even if they’re not comfortable. just a pair of shoes u like.

a superpower you would want? i’ll take the ability to stop time for 500, Alex! like if i had a project to turn in that i hadn’t started yet (which i do rn) i could just stop time and do it!!

what’s inspiring you in life right now? art!!! films, literature, music.... everything art encompasses.

best piece of advice you’ve received? “forgive yourself” 

best advice you’d give your teenage self? write more.

a book everyone should read? the outsiders

what would you like to be remembered for? helping people.

how do you define beauty? having a kind soul.

best way to take a rest/decompress? taking a nap or watching your favorite movie

favorite place to view art? museums, preferably, but everywhere honestly.

if your life was a song, what would the title be? emotional

if you could master one instrument, what would it be? piano.

if you had a tattoo, where would it be? my collarbone. sexy.

dolphins or koalas? dolphins

what’s your spirit animal? hummingbird

what’s your favorite board game? sorry!

what’s your favorite color? lilac or peach

least favorite color? ooh idk. maybe bright, bright yellow 

diamond or pearls? diamonds

drugstore makeup or designer? designer, but i appreciate drugstore too

coffee or tea? coffee! i miss it.

dark chocolate or milk chocolate? dark chocolate

stairs or elevators? stairs but elevators when i can ride them alone.

summer or winter? winter

you are stuck on an island, you can pick one food to eat forever without getting tired of it, what would you eat? strawberries

a dessert you don’t like? apple pie :(

a skill you’re working on mastering? being nice to myself! and keeping up with my skin-care routine. :(((((((

best thing to happen to you today? i talked to my entire family on zoom!!! it was really nice to see everyone and know they’re doing well. everyone’s hair is so long now too sljgs it’s funny!

worst thing to happen to you today? i found out my great grandma’s not doing so well.

favorite smell? freshly baked bread.

hugs or kisses? kisses.

if you made a documentary, would it be about? about where i’m from

last piece of content you consumed that made you cry? looking for alaska.

lipstick or lipgloss? lipstick

sweet or savory? savory

girl crush? laura harrier pls

how do you know you’re in love? idk????? i’ve never been in love. 

a song you can listen to on repeat? landslide by fleetwood mac honestly.

if you could switch lives with someone for a day, who would it be? maybe someone who owns a book shop and tends a garden idk.

what are you most excited for/about this time in your life? starting my rotation in july! i’m terrified, but very excited.

tagged by: technically no one, but @dancsmiths​ kind of!!!!! tagging: @octaviadany​ & @pushingddaisies​ and also everyone who sees this on their dash is officially tagged!!! pls tag me if u do it bc i’m nosy & i want to see what u say.

[yn6k]

hi shine! i wanted to know your thoughts about the book of us: gravity album? any personal favorites? least favorites?

sorry this is so late! i wanted to take my time to answer it because i do have a lot of thoughtsTM hahaha more (like a LOT more) under the cut :) 

so on first listen of the album, or honestly even just from the album spoiler haha, my ears instantly focused in on cover and how to love! so i’ll probably have the most to say about those songs + time of our life since ive listened to them the most!!for me: love how its in compound meter! always love me a good 12/8 or 6/8 or whatever it is haha its felt in three basically lskj i dont have a lot to say about this song? i think the focus is more on the lyrics? but musically i cant really identify anything that really sticks out to me alkdj like typical poprock i really dont know what to say maybe theres more interesting things going on underneath that im terrible at picking out (like in the chord progressions) fav part is def the prechorus^^time of our life: its so weird talking about this now bc ive gotten so used to the song that lkj some of what im saying (like the changes i would have done) feels /wrong/ but ahaha still here are some of my thoughts^^ FIRST OF ALL WONPILS PIANO SOLO >>>>> i just really love listening to it and i think an underrated part of his solo is the i think synth drums underneath them and how it creates this driving motion for the song and so like even tho the song starts kind of bare we can go straight into that hype instrumental intro instead of like having only his solo be the intro and going straight into the more mellower verse or smth along those lines? hahaha i think on first listen the first thing that stood out to me was how the chorus sounded like an extension of the verse?  like the chorus wasnt very obvious and im not sure why in terms of like chord progression music theory, but in terms of instrumentation i think one of the reasons is because that driving quarter note drum thing we get in the chorus only resolves in the second half of the chorus instead of sometime in the first half of it. so it almost gives off this sense that we might be building up to something greater but we arent? really like all of this energy from the drums piling up for seemingly no reason and also the effect that it has on really accentuating the opening lines of the chorus dissipates imo the longer that drum rhythm plays out. like the whole “a page of beautiful youth” part that opens the chorus is mostly all quarter notes and i love how we have the quarter notes within the actual drum line to back that up but then two things after that happen: 1) we get i guess a reiteration of the opening melody in the chorus with the “let’s write it together” which i feel like having the drumming driving with those same quarter notes underneath it makes the intro of the chorus feel a bit less special and memorable? and 2) and after that line plays out, the melody becomes a bit more loose in in terms of its rhythm (the ‘i want to fill it with our memories’ part) the melody doesnt have those same impactful quarter notes anymore, but u still have the drum playing it so its kind of? like a why? at that point like i personally feel it takes away from the support it gives to the earlier melody that was obviously more driving quarter notes. i kind of wish that driving forward motion in the drumline was resolved within the third measure of the chorus with like a singular drum hit into the release (like going from here to something like here but with a drum hit in between as a transition or smth? hard to explain lks i actually had a made a video a while back kind of experimenting with the sound but idk how to upload it to here) but!! i am a fan of having those driving quarter notes coming out of the bridge i love the usage of it there and would not change a thing! i think it fits because we are actually building up to that release in the instrumental, it feels a lot different than the chorus which just feels like it drags on for a bit too long. but i would also would have liked if we had a bit of an instrumental pause or something like right after sungjin says ‘dont worry about a thing’ like after that ‘ma’ a brief pause or like even the omission of the downbeat that the drum is giving like /something/ missing before we get back into him singing ‘leave everything to me’ idk i feel like that change would have been interesting and way to build up tension again in a way?? anyways to circle back to my original point about the chorus feeling like an extension of the verse..i lowkey feel like maybe day6 felt that a bit too? laksdj and thats why we got that drum intermission bw the end of the prechorus and the start of the chorus but thats just a theory idk how true it is like honestly to me it felt slightly out of place and kind of a random transition? i dunno i could be wronghere are some misc. things not in too much detail since i think talking about one song has already gotten too long alksdj but sungjins part in the prechorus i think could have been sung a bit /gentler/ than his usual throaty approach for day6 songs idk. love the vocal layering in the chorus! maybe my headphones are terrible and maybe im biased (a bit of both or neither who knows) but laksdj i kinda wish youngks bass part was a tad bit louder he has some cool parts that often get overshadowed by the electric guitars + vocals i think (like here! the sound is so tiny in the studio i wish they had brought it out a bit more because when it is brought out it like here sounds gorgeous…that sound actually might be a bit overpowering actually haha but some happy balance bw those two). also totally random but i love the way jae says ‘한 페이지’ its just satisfying to listen to like he slurs the words a bit? whereas sungjin in his part is more staccato and lkj i think i prefer the legato connection of the words to the staccato one. also thank god they brought back the piano solo for the bridge laksjhow to love: SHE!! was a favorite/look out for since the album spoiler and she did not disappoint. wonpil said it was motown influenced? love that for them;; the chord progressions are funky and fun to listen out for! love how we get a bit of instrumental differences between the first and second reiteration of the first part of the verse?  (the introduction of this electric guitar kind of in ur left ear if ur wearing head phones thats not there initially but then also this part in the electric guitar in the right ear which isnt there also again in the first reiteration just to keep it different and not redundant! i love the prechorus, introduction of strings for chorus stellar (but im strings biased) but its just so fun to follow how its similar and different to the vocal melody also whats a day6 song without some sort of chanting! love how the rhythm in the melody follows the drum part into the chorus all three times that it happens! the bridge is funky love it haha and also just love how at the end they switch up the ‘cause im ready’ and have sungjin jae and wonpil each sing one of those and then have youngk end with the ‘ooooh’ i thought that was adorable. ok keeping it short thats all i’ll saywanna go back: not to be a svt stan but holiday is that you? hahah jkjk its just a similar genre its like holiday meets maroon 5 haha i actually enjoy a lot of the song the chord progressions in the verses are interesting but also the prechorus is really pretty sounding but lakjd i honestly wish the tempo was just a little bit faster in the chorus i feel like its dragging a bit its hard for me personally to stay engaged with the song because of the murky feeling i personally get from the chorus. also the transition into the second verse is kinda ?? idk ahahaha but yeah main thing is just i wish the tempo was even just the tiniest bit faster for the chorus specifically i feel like verses are fine but just the chorus could have afforded to been a bit faster…but maybe this is just a personal experience cover: this is my personal favorite from the album! musically i just love the sound of the chord progressions in the verses? also the chorus! she! the vocal melody how it goes down but then u hear that piano in the background go up *chefs kiss* art! and i love the changes in the instrumental they introduced for the second verse! they added the bass i believe as well as another electric guitar part that isnt that muted plucking thing that we got in the first verse! AND THEN THE BRIDGE!!!!!!! THAT!!! IS!! A!! BRIDGE!!!! its so stunning and incredibly climatic and beautifully executed!!! i believe thats the first time the drums proper actually come in can you believe it (there are percussion sounds before but i think its a tambourine + a shaker/maraca? essentially not the drumset);; the tension that just the introduction of drums really brings to the piece ahhh and also the chord progressions really take u for a ride the first time u hear it and u dont know what to expect;; and then we get out of the chorus with ‘because im weak and not cool’ as a deviance from the earlier lyrics of ‘my weak and not cool side’ then DRUMTRIPLET!!!!! LAST CHORUS!! MORE DRUM TRIPLETS!! so wonderful the pOWER really the whole song is a huge crescendo ?? kind of influenced by the fact that they keep layering instruments which i absolutely LOVE like its beautiful haha but then the last chorus is just the quickest decrescendo ever as a way to fade out from the song but now with all the instruments (love how the last line really like enforces its importance and lyrical difference from the earlier ‘in the end i was seen’ by having that drum just punch it into u with every hit of the bass drum haha) also like how its not a true circular ending (but it kinda is) like there are instrumental and lyrical differences from the start and the end one thing i kind of wished they experimented with was like maybe mixing up some members voices in the chorus? like i tried a youngpil one myself haha where wonpil sings this part, then youngk, wonpil, youngk (again i hve a video for this but idunno how to upload to this ask) but its not like the song to me suffered from having singular member choruses i just thought it might be kinda cool haha anywhos im biased i love this song and laksj didnt even go into the lyrics rip anyways moving onbest part: i think its really cute that they composed this to be specifically be enjoyed in concert! i really like the best paaaaaaaaa aaaart like that swoop they do and the layering of the vocals i also think its super cool how some of the instrumental drop out towards the end of the chorus but alskj another ‘wanna go back’ transition into the second verse are they experimenting with this transition or smth?? but it just feels like inserted bc they couldnt think of a better way to transition into second verse which?? just kind of awkward akjl idk but maybe they have a reason for it i dont know! but yeah haha again musically im not really sure what to say kinda like for me it just feels like standard pop rock which isnt a bad thing just a /thing/ ahaha