#which could've been good if they actually tried to make a story out of it at all but they went the abstract route which
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1800duckhotline · 4 months ago
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in general blooberteam isnt the sole culprit but theyre the main reason why at some point the trope of "play as a man who was actually a horrid abuser/person who possibly abused also his wife [generally by being violent, not sexually] and, if its there, also his child" became so fucking tired and overdone. Like everyone including me was sick of seeing that lol
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joelscruff · 8 months ago
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imperfect for you (joel miller x f!reader)
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masterlist | a/n written for @janaispunk's 1500 kisses challenge! i got joel + nose kisses with this lovely moodboard and actually managed to write something!!! believe it or not this started out as a drabble lmao. i hope you like it jana - sorry it's a bit late, and congrats again on your milestone 🤍 summary: you never thought joel miller would accidentally call you baby. warnings: age gap (joel is mid 40s, reader is 23), fluff, very brief instance of blood, tending to a wound, joel is eepy, soft kisses, cuddles word count: 5.5k ao3 dividers by @saradika-graphics
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"When's the last time you slept?"
He doesn't bother to grace you with an answer, hands clenched on the steering wheel as you barrel down the vacant stretch of highway back to Lincoln. He's been ignoring you for the past fifteen minutes now, eyes straight ahead, brow furrowed, jaw clenched. But he looks pale, almost sickly, the whites of his knuckles stark against the sudden greenish hue of his skin. The last thing you need is for him to pass out and for the two of you to crash into a damn ditch.
"I'm just saying," you continue with an exasperated sigh, "I could drive the rest of the way, we're almost there."
No reply. You roll your eyes and cross your arms indignantly in the passenger seat, returning his icy demeanor. He's in one of his moods again, the ones only Tess really knows how to handle, but you'd volunteered to try your hand at a supply run in her stead which means she's not here to mediate. You should've known some issue would arise, stubborn Joel inventing problems in typical Joel fashion.
"You could've tried to last at least one more hour pretending to like me," you mutter, loud enough for him to hear. He doesn't say anything.
Almost a year of working with them now, and you still don't understand him. You're not sure you ever will. Tess, she's much easier to understand, much more open to being understood. She'd seen your potential and taken you under her wing, brought you in to help, taught you everything you needed to know about smuggling. And Joel... well, he's a different story.
"You know, Tess thinks I have promise," you continue anyway, expression crumpling into a scowl, "She thinks I can do this. I don't get why you don't."
No answer.
"And don't say it's 'cause I'm a kid, because I'm not. I'm twenty three now, I'm past the point of being called a fucking kid. The shit I've seen in that QZ-" you cut yourself off, shaking your head, "I'm not a kid."
His lack of response is beginning to hurt deeper than you'd really like to admit. You glance over at him again; he's still staring straight ahead, still ignoring your presence. It makes unwanted tears prick in your eyes, nose stinging a little as you peer down at your lap and fold your hands together.
You'd been excited for this supply run, probably against your better judgement. You'd wanted to show him how much you know and understand, how hard you've been working, how you're up to the task. Hoped maybe he'd give you a smile - rare, but not impossible - and tell you that you did good, that he sees potential in you too.
You care what he thinks, almost more than what Tess thinks. And you know why, can sense it deep in the pit of your stomach and in the way your heart stutters when he looks at you, but you're clearly living in a fantasy world if you think he's ever gonna get past whatever this stigma is that he has against your age. She's too young, Tess. She'll get hurt, Tess. She shouldn't be doin' this, Tess. You've heard it all, muffled through closed doors in a dark and damp hallway.
He doesn't want you, and you're not sure how much longer you can go on like this. If he's not willing to change his stance, view you as anything other than an inconvenience...maybe Tess will have to find somebody else to help out.
"I know what I'm doing," you mumble, a tear dribbling down your left cheek, "I just wanna help."
You spare him one more look, fruitlessly hoping that maybe he'll feel bad now that he's made you cry - a childish thought, considering you're trying to make a case for being mature, but you can't help it. You know he's capable of being gentle, of being kind. You've experienced it with him before, quiet moments between the two of you in his apartment while waiting for Tess to return, making small talk, him peering at you with a softness in those brown eyes that have since made frequent appearances in your dreams. Moments where you swear you felt wanted under that gaze, but it must've been in your head, because you certainly don't feel wanted right now.
He doesn't look well, you have to admit. His skin is covered in a sheen of sweat, getting paler by the second, turning an unnatural grey color akin to some of the hair on his head. His eyes are glassy, dark bags settled beneath them that you've noticed getting worse and worse over the past few weeks. You shoot a glance at his hands again and are surprised to see that he's loosened his grip, that his fingers seem to be trembling against the rubber.
"Joel," you say, raising your voice a bit, "Joel, are you okay?"
His lack of response no longer angers you - it worries you. Carefully, you reach over and slowly wrap your hand around his right wrist, eyes trained on his face. At your touch, he finally turns to look at you, almost like he's only just noticed you're even there.
"You say somethin'?" he asks, voice raspy, a bit slurred.
Your grip tightens on his wrist, "I think you should stop the car."
He looks at you curiously, dazedly. It's the expression of a man who's running on two, maybe three hours of sleep in the last few days. You choose your next words carefully, eyes flickering back and forth toward his face and the road that he's suddenly no longer watching.
"Let's slow down a bit," you murmur, thumb stroking gently along his skin - he's warm, warmer than normal - "I'm gonna drive the rest of the way, okay?"
You expect some pushback, an attempt at an argument, but the tiredness is setting in quickly. Without any hesitation he eases his foot off the gas and you hurriedly reach your own leg over into his space to push down on the brake. He doesn't seem to notice the way your bare leg brushes his jeans, the crease in your knee bending over the warmth of his thigh.
"There we go," you say softly, bringing the car to a slow stop. He's still looking at you, eyes unfocused as you carefully lean over a little more to unbuckle his seatbelt. You try to ignore how good he smells, how big he is compared to you, putting all your attention on getting him out of the front seat. You unlock his door and then unbuckle your own belt, hurrying out of the car to his side.
"M'okay," he mumbles as soon as you open his door. You start to help him out, and you think he's becoming a little more aware of the situation now, allowing you to pull him to his feet as you tug open the back door. "What's happenin'?"
"You're just tired," you tell him softly, "It's okay, you can sleep in the back, I'll drive."
"Bill n' Frank's," he says as you lead him the right way, pushing him a little and helping him place his knee down on the seat, "Y'know where it is? You remember?"
"I do," you tell him confidently, your hand coming down to press flat against his back - he's so solid, heat radiating against your palm, "Only twenty minutes away now, I got it. You just sleep."
He doesn't argue; in fact, he makes your job easier by crawling onto the seat and settling down with a low groan, rolling onto his back and breathing deeply. You can't help but let a small smile cross your features, watching as one of his hands comes up to rest atop his belly, the other dangling onto the floor. His eyelashes flutter a little, lips parting, and you're about to shut the door when he speaks again.
"I know you jus' wanna help, baby."
You stand there for a moment just staring at him, confusion racing through your thoughts. Goosebumps rise on your flesh as the last word repeats like a mantra in your head, steady and slow as Joel drifts off. It's only when the door is shut and you're in the front seat that you're able to put some meaning to the words, eyes wide as you stare at the faded lines on the road.
I know what I'm doing, you'd said, I just wanna help.
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You leave him in the car when you get to Bill and Frank's, typing in the gate code with a backward glance at his loose form in the backseat. They must see him on one of the security monitors, because as soon as the doors open you spot them sprinting out of the house toward you, a scanner gripped in Bill's hand. Typical.
"He's okay," you tell them as soon as you're out of the car, instantly alleviating their stress, "He's just exhausted, I think he needs to sleep for a little while."
"Understatement of the century," Frank replies with a relieved laugh, eyeing the backseat, "Think we can get him in the house?"
"Just leave him in the car," Bill says with a wave of his hand, already turning to head back towards the house with the scanner hanging out of his pocket, "He'll be fine."
Your gaze meets Frank's and he rolls his eyes, "Come on, baby, let's get him upstairs." Your brows go up at the pet name, the same word that had fallen from Joel's lips only twenty minutes ago, but then Bill is shuffling back over with an annoyed look on his face and you quickly realize he's not talking to you.
Getting Joel out of the car proves to be a lot more difficult than getting him in. You try a gentle approach at first, brushing his arm and stroking his skin with your thumb again like you'd done earlier. You can feel Frank's eyes on you as you squeeze Joel's bicep, his wrist, his thigh, and you pretend you don't see the look that passes between him and Bill as you step out to let them take a turn.
Bill goes for a much more aggressive approach, shaking Joel's shoulders wildly and practically yanking him out of the car. Understandably, Joel wakes with a gasp and kicks his legs out, hand reaching for his pistol as he frantically tries to escape Bill's grasp. Before he can grab it though, he's suddenly falling forward, knees buckling as he faceplants onto the pavement beside the car.
Well, that certainly wakes him up. His hands press into the gravel and his head shoots up, blood trickling down his nose as he peers up at the three of you, stunned.
"Oh, for fuck's sake, Bill," Frank groans.
"That was not my fault."
Ignoring them, you kneel down and gently touch Joel's shoulder, a concerned look on your face as you eye the splattered blood on the ground, "Fuck, are you okay?"
"What in the hell is goin' on?" he groans, turning to look at you, "Did Bill just break my fuckin' nose?"
"Don't be dramatic," Bill barks, spinning on the spot and heading into the house, "Shoulda just left you in the car."
Joel starts scrambling after him, rising up and standing on wobbly legs, hand reaching for his pistol once again. You and Frank grab him before he can do anything, both of you taking an arm and holding him back.
"Joel, you're exhausted," you tell him quickly, utilizing all your strength, "You just need to lay down. Please."
He turns his face to look at you and something flutters in your chest when you catch the way his eyes soften, the anger in his expression fading as he acknowledges your presence. You can vaguely make out Frank watching the two of you in your periphery, but you try your best to ignore it, instead opting to give Joel a reassuring smile.
"Let's just get you cleaned up, okay?"
You're grateful that Frank leaves you alone with Joel to tend to his nose. You've only met him a handful of times, but each time he'd somehow been able to clock the way you interact with Joel, the way you look at him. The last time you'd been here he'd subtly pulled you aside to give you a few words of wisdom.
"You do realize he's extremely unavailable, right?"
"I- I don't know what you're talking about."
He'd smiled, tapped his nose and given you a knowing look, "And I don't just mean because of Tess. That man is emotionally constipated, kiddo. He's an island." He'd laughed then at your confused expression, shaking his head, "Just be careful, s'all I'm saying."
You'd gone to walk away, forget the conversation even happened, when he'd softly called after you:
"And I'm pretty sure Tess would hang your head on her wall."
You think of those words now as you stand in front of Joel in the small bathroom off the landing, lip between your teeth as you eye the cut on his nose. It isn't broken, thank fuck, but you can see some dirt and gravel in there that you need to clean out.
"It's not broken," you tell him softly. He's sitting on the edge of the bath tub, peering up at you with a much more alert expression. The fall definitely woke him up, not to mention the choice words he and Bill had thrown at each other as you and Frank helped him up the stairs. He's still exhausted though, and he needs to rest.
"I know it's not," he grumbles, "Just wanted to give Bill a piece of my mind for once."
You laugh softly as you reach for the damp cloth beside you, bringing it up to carefully pat it against the gash on the bridge of his nose. You can feel his eyes on you, watching and assessing as you do your best to wipe the area clean.
"I can do that myself," he murmurs.
"I just wanna help," you say quietly, and your eyes fall to his in a knowing glance. He doesn't seem to remember though, just nods and lets you carry on.
It's rare for you to be this alone with him. And by that, you mean this far from Tess. You're painfully aware that it would be impossible for her to walk in at any moment, to see the way you're standing over him, touching him. Frank's words from last time echo in your head but you're not quite sure you believe them; would she really be that angry if she knew how you felt about Joel? It's not like he'd return it, right? The man is twenty years your senior and, as Frank said, extremely unavailable. Not to mention Tess and Joel's relationship has been a point of confusion to you for a year now, still unsure exactly what they are to each other - would she really care?
You reach for the antiseptic - one of the many perks of having an injury in a supply house - and carefully dab some onto the cloth. Your hand trembles a bit as you reach up to carefully hold Joel's chin, your thumb getting lost in his greying beard.
"You haven't shaved in a while," you breathe, your eyes meeting his, and you wonder if you've already crossed a line by even noticing.
He doesn't seem to mind though, sighing deeply, "I haven't slept in a while, so let's hurry this up," he eyes the cloth, "Don't gotta warn me, just do it."
His words bring you back to the present, and you slowly ease the cloth down onto his cut. He hisses a bit, a normal reaction, but it only takes a few seconds to clean and then you're already reaching for a bandage, reluctantly letting go of his chin.
"I was worried about you, before. In the car," you tell him softly, unpeeling the adhesive, "Why haven't you been sleeping?"
His eyes fall to the floor, "I just don't sleep good. Never have."
"Is there anything I can do?"
He shrugs, gives you a humorless laugh, "Handful o' pills and a couple sips o' whiskey usually does the trick."
It makes sense, then, why these past few weeks he's seemed worse. It's been longer than usual since your last supply run and the three of you had started running out of vital supplies over a week ago now, not only for buyers but for yourselves. Joel had written whiskey near the top of the latter list, along with hydromorphone which he'd underlined several times.
"You should've told me you weren't feeling well," you murmur, applying the bandage carefully, "I could've driven the whole way."
"Could've, should've," he dismisses you with a grunt, "Doesn't matter now, does it? We got here, that's what counts."
You linger a little longer than you should on the bandage, thumb falling to gently trace the crease of his nose as you assess your work. It might scar, but it feels pointless to voice this - he already has so many, scattered across his face and neck like confetti. It hurts a little, knowing he's been through so much, seeing the evidence written all over him.
"My mom had this superstition," you tell him softly, a smile playing at your lips as you trace one of the scars under his eye, soft and delicate, "Whenever I got hurt, skinned my knee or busted my elbow playing, she'd bandage me up and then kiss it. She said a kiss would seal her love in there, keep me safe and protected. And if it scarred, that meant it worked."
He blinks at you, expression faltering a bit, "That's...that's a nice thought."
You shake your head, "It's silly, and not true. But... but I still do it anyway, even though she's gone. Just in case," you bite your lip, "I mean, who doesn't wanna feel a little more safe? A little more protected?"
Your gazes lock, and neither of you seem to move, caught in the stillness of the moment and the way your thumb is still stroking his face. You know you have limited time, maybe a few seconds before he breaks it, so without much thought at all you lean down and lightly press your lips to the bandage, eyes closed.
He inhales sharply, a sound that triggers butterflies in your tummy as you hold your mouth against his nose, soft and sweet. It's the closest you've ever been to him, even if you're kissing gauze and not skin - you can still feel the warmth radiating from him, sense the way he freezes below you. A squeaking sound pierces the silence, his hand squeezing the edge of the bath tub tightly. It startles you, your eyes blinking open as you pull back to look at him.
His cheeks are tinged pink, eyelids heavy as he peers up at you with slow blinks.
"You're tired," you breathe, unable to stop your hand from flitting to his hair, pushing a little behind his ear, "Let's get you to bed."
The Joel Miller in Bill and Frank's guest room is not the Joel Miller you thought you knew.
This Joel is loose, pliant. He lets you lead him into the bedroom with a hand on his back, lets you carefully turn him on the spot to reach up and undo the buttons on his flannel. Frank had told you on your way up to make sure Joel didn't get blood on the sheets, so you're only following orders, only doing what you were told.
"Sorry," you murmur softly, fingers shaking every so often as they toy with the buttons, sticky with his blood. Joel doesn't seem to notice though, retreating more and more into the sleepy state he'd been in earlier.
Once his flannel is off you assess his t-shirt and jeans, and you're not sure how to feel about the fact that they didn't get dirty in the fall. On the other hand, though, you're not sure you'd have been brave enough to take them off. Instead you help him toward the bed, pull back the sheets and carefully push him ahead.
"There you go," you whisper, helping him under the covers and pulling the blankets back over him. The sun is streaming through the window, casting the golden light of early evening across the bed, and while it's quite beautiful you shut the curtains anyway, knowing he'll sleep better in darkness. When you turn back around, he's already fallen asleep, lips parted, face peaceful. A different man.
You don't linger, even though you want to.
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It's around ten o'clock when you decide to check on him again. You'd watched a movie with Bill and Frank, feeling more than a little unwelcome as Bill tossed you a few dirty looks every so often, though Frank repeatedly told you to ignore him. Now they're in bed downstairs while you pad from your own room across the hall to Joel's, turning the knob carefully. The hinges squeak a little as you open it and you wince.
"Who's there?" you hear Joel grumble from the bed. So much for just taking a peek.
"Me, just me." You push the door wider and walk inside, eyebrows going up when Joel turns on the bedside lamp. He seems a little more rested, although you know he still needs a full night's sleep. "I sent a message to Tess through the radio to let her know we're not coming back tonight - well, Frank did. Picked a song called Tomorrow or something like that."
"Hope it was the Johnny Mathis version," he mumbles, and you watch as he brings his hands up to rub across his face. He accidentally dismantles the bandage and you step forward without really thinking, hurrying to his side and reaching down to fix it.
His hand comes up to grab yours and you freeze in place.
"I can do it," he says, giving you a curt look and then releasing your hand to adjust the gauze himself.
Well, you suppose lax and sleepy Joel couldn't stick around forever. You stand awkwardly by the side of the bed, toying with the edge of the blanket as he rubs his eyes and sits up a little, leaning back against the headboard. He looks so much older in this light; you can see the little flecks of grey in his beard and hair that have been starting to get more noticeable lately, the crows feet, the wrinkles.
He's so handsome.
He turns to look at you with a frown, as if he's only just realizing what you said, "We can go back tonight, I'm fine."
"You're not and you know it. Besides, it's already past ten and now I'm tired, I won't be able to drive."
"I can drive."
"Joel," you surprise yourself by sitting down on the edge of the bed, narrowing your brow as you give him a serious look, "You can't drive. You almost fucking killed us both."
"No I-"
"Yes you did," your tone is firm, suddenly angry - are you angry? - "If I hadn't been talking to you, if I hadn't noticed something was wrong, you would've driven us off the damn road."
He goes quiet at that, frown deepening, the lines on his face more prominent in the low lamplight. You sigh, eyes falling to rest on where your hand is settled on the bed, only inches from his. Part of you wants to reach out and touch, feel the warmth of his skin, the rough of his palm - the other part decides to do something even more stupid.
"You called me baby."
It's out of your mouth before you've even really acknowledged it, and once the words have tumbled out you know there's no taking them back. Your gaze snaps back up to his, slightly surprised to see that he doesn't seem very shocked by your admission.
He clears his throat a little, averting his gaze and shuffling a bit under the covers, "Did I?"
"...Yeah."
You think maybe he'll say something else - anything else - but he doesn't. God, it really is like pulling teeth with him; he's so fucking beautiful but so impossible, never being able to expand on something unless prompted, never being able to answer a single question without jerking you around first. How the fuck has Tess managed to deal with it for so long?
The thought of Tess sends a wave of guilt through your body, Frank's words echoing in your head, but you shove it down.
"What made you... I mean why..." your voice is soft, apprehensive and shy in the quiet of the bedroom, "why'd you call me baby?"
A beat of silence. Then-
"Don't ask me that."
The mood has shifted, your sudden anger ebbing and his annoyance fading into something else, something on the brink of being real. He's avoiding your eyes, peering at the window with the curtains drawn and tapping his fingers anxiously against the mattress, so close to your hand. He's nervous; you're making him nervous.
You stay silent, hoping he'll speak again, hoping maybe just this one time he'll tell you what he's thinking.
"I don't know why."
The words are barely a whisper, almost like he's telling you a secret, and he leaves them hanging in the air briefly before amending - "Well," he sighs and finally looks at you, an emotion you can't place crossing his features, "that's not true. But... I didn't mean - fuck, I was passin' out, for Christ's sake, I didn't realize-"
He cuts himself off again, raising his hand up to press his fingers to the bridge of his nose, briefly forgetting the bandage. He winces when he comes in contact with the gauze, "Can I take this off? It's drivin' me fuckin' crazy."
"Let me do it," you say quietly, inching forward on the bed and reaching for his face. He flinches when you go to touch him, and your hand freezes mid-air.
"Sorry," he mutters, shaking his head like he's shaking off a sensation, a chill, "Go ahead."
With careful - and slightly trembling - fingers, you remove the bandage from his nose. It looks much better than before, no fresh blood in sight, and you suppose it's okay for him to keep it uncovered for the night. Without really thinking about it you gently thumb the side of his nose just shy of the cut, the tips of your other fingers brushing against his cheek.
"It's not too bad," you murmur, and before you know it you're suddenly cupping his jaw, feeling the weight of it in your palm. Your gaze falls to his lips, your thoughts going a mile a minute.
You realize you're close enough that you could kiss him, if you really wanted to. If he really wanted to. All it would take is one small movement, one little push from the both of you, one leap of faith...
And then he whispers your name, almost a warning, and it's like his thoughts are mirroring yours - like he can see exactly what you're picturing, wishing for. Your eyes meet his and you feel a flutter in your stomach when you see the way he's looking at you, a quiet hunger hidden in the deep brown.
You decide to test the waters. You lean in and softly press another kiss to his nose, this time without the gauze in the way. Just like you'd thought, his skin is hot under your lips, soft but scarred, and his smell - god, he smells so masculine and safe, invading your senses as your lips trail downwards to press a small kiss to his cupid's bow, then another to the corner of his mouth. It's sharp, prickly from his scruff, but it doesn't bother you in the slightest - in fact, you kind of like the dull pain, the way it grounds you, keeps you in the moment.
"Baby," he whispers, and a soft little whine falls from your lips without meaning to as your lips move to ghost across his mouth, going for another kiss - a real kiss.
He pulls away before you get there, but then his hand comes up to touch your face, big and wide. He holds you like you're precious, small. His baby.
"S'not right," he whispers, though his thumb strokes your cheek soothingly, "S'not okay for me to want you like that."
You close your eyes at his touch, breathing deeply, "But you do."
"Yeah, I do," you hear him murmur, "You know I do."
"For how long?"
He doesn't respond right away, just continues to stroke your cheek, hold what feels like all of you in his warm palm. You tilt your head a bit to the side, eyes fluttering open to look at him again. You catch the way his lips turn up a little at the movement.
"Too damn long," he sighs, "But that don't... that's not..." he brings his other hand up to cup the other side of your face, holding you still as he peers at you in earnest, brow furrowed, "Point is, we shouldn't... you shouldn't be out here alone with me. Tess knows how I-" he cuts himself off again, and you can see now how difficult it is for him to communicate like this, to be open and honest, "I told her it wasn't a good idea."
"Why?"
He laughs lightly, thumbs circling the apples of your cheeks, "'Cause look where we ended up." He swallows, eyes falling to your lips, "Look where you are right now, baby. Look where my damn hands are for cryin' out loud."
"Keep calling me baby," you breathe, a desperation in your voice that betrays your emotions, tears pricking in your eyes as the weight of this conversation comes crashing down around you. He wants you - he's always wanted you. His words to Tess about not wanting to put you in danger, wanting you to stay away, those soft looks you've shared in his apartment, the small talk, all of it - it's because he wants you.
"We can't do this," he murmurs, leaning in to press his forehead to yours, eyes closing, "I can't do this, you're so- you're too-" he groans, fingers digging into your hair, "You're so young, baby."
"I don't care," you whine, butting your head forward to chase his lips, suddenly yearning to be kissed and held and protected by him, be wrapped in his embrace.
But he pulls away, removing his hands from your face and shuffling back a bit on the bed, away from you. Your hand drops but you reach out pathetically for him anyway, moving closer, attempting to pull the covers back. His hands capture yours and he squeezes them firmly, shaking his head.
"You need to go back to your room," he tells you, and his tone has changed from soft to serious, "It's late and I'm... well, you know I'm fuckin' exhausted. And you've had a long day." He looks at you with pleading eyes, like he's silently begging for you not to put him in this situation, "Let's just call it a night, okay?"
"But-" you start, tears shining in your eyes.
"Please," he breathes, "Please don't make this harder than it needs to be."
You do not want to get up from his bed. But you do.
You do not want to leave his room. But you do.
You do not want to lie awake in your own bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking about how his hands felt on your face, the way his eyes searched yours, the way his skin felt under your lips.
But you do.
You lie there for hours, thumbs twiddling against your belly, tears trickling down your cheeks every so often. All you can hear in your mind over and over again is the word Baby, punctuated by that soft groan he'd made, the way his thumbs had stroked your cheeks, how large and warm and safe he'd seemed in that bed.
All you want to do is be in that bed with him.
So it's no surprise when, as the sun is beginning to rise and that warm golden light starts to stream through your window, you crawl out from under your blankets and cross the hall one more time.
"We shouldn't" he murmurs when you climb into bed with him, when you tuck yourself into his side and bury your face in his shoulder, but his hands are already in your hair, fingers stroking along the back of your head.
Your bodies mold together like they've always been meant to fit that way, your legs tangled with his, arms trapped under big biceps and hairy forearms, breasts flush with his suddenly bare chest.
"I wanna be your baby," you whisper.
The nose you'd kissed brushes slowly up and down the side of your face, and he doesn't hesitate this time. He reaches up to turn your head, presses his lips against yours and lets you melt into him. Lets you trail your hand downward to unbutton his jeans in the silence of the early morning.
"You already are."
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inbabylontheywept · 3 months ago
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Weird Grandpa Story #2
I remember asking my mom once, if her dad had gotten ornerier as he'd gotten old. I'd heard about that happening, and it would've made sense for him. He was already the orneriest old cuss I'd ever met. Couldn't even imagine him being grumpier than he was.
Instead of answering the question directly, she told me about what it was like going to church with him as a kid. Their church was a small Mormon ward out in the sticks of Colorado, and he served as their Bishop - mostly by virtue of being the only one willing to do that much unpaid work. He was also the ward pianist. He actually liked playing piano, and he liked having an audience, so it was more or less understood that he was willing to be the bishop in exchange for being the pianist. 
Which could've been a good trade, but there were a few problems.
The first problem was that Grandpa Dale played every song at about triple speed. He was a deeply impatient person, and that extended to how he played music. The second problem was that he had a bad habit of cursing under his breath. That would've been a scandalous  enough habit for a Mormon bishop, but was made much worse (and also much funnier)  by him being pretty damn deaf. So what he thought of as "quiet" cursing under his breath was more of just a verse hoarse way of yelling. I only visited him for a week or two every summer, and I still learned most of my bad words from him. 
So every Sunday would start with a quiet prayer, and then Bishop Grandpa Dale would go to the piano, sit down, and play the nightcore version of Praise to the Man. He would occasionally play other hymns, but he really, really liked that one. This would continue until he hit a wrong note, which was basically inevitable because his music philosophy was that if he could play a song flawlessly, it was time to play it faster. So he'd play until he hit that wrong note, at which point he would scream-whisper SHIIIIIT and, because he did not actually read music so much as memorize it, the only way he'd be able to get his rhythm back was by going back to the start. 
If it was a good Sunday, he could get it in two tries. Some Sundays took as many as five. 
I learned two things about Grandpa Dale from this story. The first was that he could play piano. I'd never actually seen him do that before. Still haven't, come to think of it. Second was that the man that I visited once a year, who always seemed on the verge of exploding, who scared the absolute dickens out of me, was actually the chilled out version of the man my mom grew up with.
And it helped knowing that, actually. I'm actually a pretty anxious person, and my mom is, also, a pretty anxious person, and as a teenager we'd sometimes get in these doom loops where we'd wind each other up until our springs cracked. She'd be worried about me growing up to be happy, and I'd be worried about letting her down, and my worrying would make me unhappy, and my unhappiness would make her unhappy, and we'd just kind of dissolve into these anxieties like cotton candy in the sea and become totally unbearable to be around for a bit. Then my dad would sit us both down and very politely tell us that we were being crazy. He had this quote how being sad that someone else is sad that you're sad is the emotional equivalent of being a Klein flask and that at some point you have to just say I am allowed one (1) single layer of emotional recursion, at most, and ideally zero. 
And it was always kind of embarrassing and silly, but when I was tempted to be more upset with my mom about it, I could remember the piano story and go: Sheesh. She has more of a right to be anxious that I do. For me it's really just genetics, but she grew up with the Cactus-Killing Gopher-Smasher. A whole 18 years of that. I spent two weeks every summer with that guy, and I love him, but I always came home feeling like I'd survived something. She's a trooper.
653 notes · View notes
solitairedeere · 7 months ago
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i was never as optimistic about the ending of bnha as some villain stans were, but i never thought it'd end so badly it left me wondering why horikoshi ever bothered to humanize the villains or make them complex characters at all.
like-- i expected that at least 1-2 of the 3 villains who were heavily foreshadowed and outlined by the narrative as people to be saved would be, you know, actually saved. i didn't think that was a high bar. i've been let down before in fandoms where everyone was certain a character would live and then they didn't, so i tried to keep my hopes low. AND YET.
what happened to tomura was upsetting, but i wasn't that shocked after how disinterested the manga has seemed to be in him for like, the past 100 or so chapters. a bit surprised, because you'd think if anyone would succeed in the 'saving' mission it would be the MC, but whatever. dabi, well, they've spent a lot of time showing the way his quirk destroys his body even before this arc, so that also sucked but at least it didn't feel completely out of left field.
........but they're not even letting toga live???
i just-- what have we even been doing here? when zero out of the 3 characters that were marked out for saving were actually saved, you have to acknowledge that something has gone seriously fucking wrong with the storytelling. not even just from the perspective of a villain fan but from the perspective of someone who likes stories to be thematically consistent or satisfying in any way.
you can set up an expectation of these characters being saved and then subvert that and turn it into a tragedy- if done well that could even be worthwhile and interesting. but you can't turn it into a tragedy and then just... keep trucking along with the happy ending messaging and act like anything in the manga has been resolved and that the characters have somehow successfully completed their heroic origin stories.
like, maybe i shouldn't have expected this much from a shounen- at the end of the day it is still a shounen so i didn't expect to feel that it truly satisfactorily wrapped up all the themes it brought up around societal ills. but i expected it to at least resolve those things in a shounen-y way where they punch the problems and help these specific people and then you can feel good assuming that the state of things will continue to improve in the post-canon world of the manga.
instead we got... uh, none of that. the story refused to answer a single one of the larger questions it's been outlining for the past 400+ chapters. in the end, it was all flash and no substance, which again could've been fine, if it weren't for the way the story seemed to spend significant chunks of time trying to delude you into thinking it had substance.
truly makes me wonder what horikoshi thought he was doing the entire time. can it really all be blamed on burnout? the most that can be said for this ending is that it is, well, an ending. fuck dude, it is that.
and that's just... such a sad way to end a project that took up 10 years of your life.
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sturniqlo · 5 months ago
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LET HER GO- CHRIS STURN
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summary: seeing her across the room with someone else makes chris realize he needs to let her go. BLURB
cw: cursing, party setting, mentions of drinking, pinch of ANGST; break up, arguing, toxic!chris, trust issues, mentions of cheating (not actually) manipulation(?)
an: i've been going through some writers block lately, sorry if this is shit :/ | lowercase intended
masterlist | join my taglist
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"want another?" nate, chris' friend, nods his head towards his empty red solo cup. "i'm good, you should slow down on em' though." chris says and nate scoffs. "shut up." he cackles and stumbles to the kitchen to refill his cup. tonight, chris and nate had came to one of their friends party. it was a celebration or anything, just a party on a random thursday night.
at first, chris had said no, however, nate didn't take no for an answer and dragged him to this party. nate had realized that chris was staying home a lot more after he had broken up with y/n.
"i'm missing her." is what he would say when nate would go over and see chris laying in bed hugging a random shirt. it was the shirt that y/n would always wear of his and it still smelled like her. "she dumped you for a reason, chris." he always stayed quiet when someone would say that.
y/n was the one who had called it off. and chris realized, after they had broken up, that he was the toxic one in the relationship and she deserved better. whenever he would be out she would send him a text that she would be going out with her friends, she was never asking for permission, never that, just informing him.
however, chris feared the idea that other men would try and get at her and he got jealous just at the idea of it so, he would reply with i was planning on going over in about twenty minutes :(. y/n away fell for it and backed out from the plans with her friends.
she'd always wait... and wait, and chris always showed up 3 or more hours later which would result in an argument. "you said that five hours ago! i could've gone and been back by now! but, no because you always think i'm going to cheat on you or some shit! do you really think that low of me?"
y/n's breaking point was when she had posted a group picture at the mall to her instagram story and when chris saw he was furious when he saw a guys arm across her shoulders. what did he do? he looked at her location and drove there a caused a scene in front of her friends.
"come on, we're leaving!" he spotted y/n standing alone in a store. "chris? what are you doing here?" she said. "i said, we're leaving. i didn't let you come here just so you could be lovey dovey around assholes." he grabbed her arm and tried to walk her out. "what are you saying right now?" her voice caught the attention of her friends. "chris, hey?" one said.
"this is chris? didn't know he was coming today." someone he had never seen before says, he then realizes this is the guy who had his arm around her shoulders. "oscar, not now." y/n said. "yeah, oscar, not now." chris said. "we were just leaving, sorry. you guys can go back to shopping." chris walks out with y/n.
"so, oscar seems nice, did he buy you something today?" y/n ignored him. "hm? did he hold your hand? kiss you? you two seemed happy in the picture." she snapped at last. "take me home, i can't stand being around you right now!" she yelled. during the car ride, chris went on and on. when he dropped her off she finally spoke.
"we're done, chris. i've put up with you for so long, i hate that you don't trust me when i go out, whenever i tell you i'm going out you always tell me that you're coming over and make me wait just so i won't go out. you thought i was just cheating on you, for crying out loud! i can't do this anymore!" she unbuckled herself and got out the car. "oscar is my fucking cousin." she slammed the door behind her and ran inside her house.
chris texted, and called. y/n finally decided to talked to him. chris heard her out and agreed although he didn't fully understand.
until now. months later.
chris spotted her while he was pouring himself some soda into his cup. it's almost as if he felt her presence enter the house. he stared at her as she walked in from the backyard, he smiled to smiles, until he saw her arm extended backwards. she was holding someone's hand. behind her, hands intertwined, was a tall guy he had never seen before.
she had someone new.
as creepy as it sounds, he watched them the entire night. he saw how she smiled when he touched her waist, kissed her forehead and held her hand when he felt like it. she looked happy. she finally got what she deserved. the person she deserved.
y/n's eyes roamed the crowd and met a pair of familiar eyes. they stared at each other until y/n broke into a soft smile. that's when he decided to finally let her go.
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imraespace · 8 months ago
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STREAMERS! ★ ˎˊ˗
..CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2! || CHAPTER 3..
────────────────────────────
@kh.fan01: you're not y/n..
@ilovelinkk: since when was y/n a boy?
@gamergirl123: well.. obviously it's not her..
──────────────
Muichiro stared at the comments flying in as he hit the stream button.
You left him with one job:
"You can start the stream while I go collect my package! Remember to invite the others and explain everything!"
You told him as you left the house.
What package? It doesn't really concern him and he really don't care about it. All he knew was you could've just asked your mother to collect it and not leave him alone here but it's you so..
"Um.."
He let out a sigh as he saw more comments fly in.
@kh.fan01: who are you🤨
"Y/N's friend." He started.
"Shes not here as yet but she left me here to stream for her until she's back."
@pooper3000: where is y/n?
"Why are you all asking so many questions.. and why is your username pooper3000.." Muichiro mumbled.
His phone went off which caused him to check it. It was a notification from the groupchat.
He opened it, completely forgetting about the stream.
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MITSURI HAS JOINED!
"Finally.." Muichiro said to himself
The pink haired girl opened up her phone to view the chat and was greeted with a bunch of compliments.
"Ooh!! So many compliments, thank you!" She said, smiling while holding one of her cheek.
The chat grew happy upon seeing a new friend joining.
Oh right, Muichiro just remembered he has to explain to them.
"Uh, Y/N told me to explain something to you all." He started.
That chat started to spam with a bunch of questions.
The boy tried to explain as best as he could, having Mitsuri in the back to help him out.
After a long explanation, they all understood what they meant and were very much happy to have the others to join the stream.
SHINOBU HAS JOINED!
OBANAI HAS JOINED!
"The others have joined!" Mitsuri said, waving at her camera as they both waved back.
"Not everyone but this is good enough." Obanai said.
"What are we even supposed to do?"
"Y/N said to talk." Muichiro answered.
"Talk.." Obanai mumbled as he glared at the camera.
"How about we play a game?" Shinobu spoke up.
"Yes a game! How about on roblox?" Mitsuri responded.
"What game on roblox?"
"Hmm.. I've been playing that Hello Kitty Cafe so why not that one?"
"Say what now." Obanai replied.
"Yep! Join me!" She continued.
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S.FLOWERS_ HAS JOINED THE GAME
LOVE.MITSURI HAS JOINED THE GAME
OBANAIIGURO123 HAS JOINED THE GAME
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muichiro123456:
your name is so bland
obanaiiguro123:
ik you're not talking.
muichiro123456:
I asked y/n to name me that so I won't forget it.
love.mitsuri:
I think both of your names are good!
obanaiiguro123:
thank you.
s.flowers_:
obanai let me in your world.
obanaiiguro123:
..why..
s.flowers_:
why not?
──────────────
Why does one want to enter world?
Only because! Shinobu caught him playing the game, she asked him about it but he denied ever entering the game, denying everything she saw.
──────────────
obanaiiguro123:
...
fine.
──────────────
Obanai caved in and let her in, actually he let everyone in.
"Why is your cafe better than mines.." She mumbled.
Muichiro started to roam around it.
"A three-story kuromi themed Cafe.." He mumbled.
"You all are just bad at the game." He replied.
"I didn't know you played the game Obanai?" Mitsuri asked, as her avatar walked up to his.
"I only started it for you so we can play together.." He mumbled.
"REALLY??!" She exclaimed.
Soon both Shinobu and Muichiro had to witness the couple tried to make their avatars hug.
"What am I watching.." Muichiro mumbled
──────────────
Soon about 2 hours had past and your chat grew impatient and demanded that you return.
Muichiro rolled his eyes at them and simply said:
"I can't control her."
Before he could respond to another rant, he got a message from you.
"Finally.."
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"She's coming home soon." Muichiro said.
@gamergirl123: finally. yall gameplay is trash.
"Oh." Mitsuri said.
@gamergirl123: not you tho!
"Oh?" Shinobu now spoke up.
Muichiro sighed. How do you even deal with this..
Talking about you, you're currently trying to get out of this free trip to the restaurant you very much hate.
But this "Douma" person doesn't wanna take NO as answer.
"We have the best spot open for you to come try out a few meals!" He said offering his had out towards you.
You stared at his hand, then back up at him.
With a smile, you began to speak.
"I already said, No. Thank. You! I would like to go on my way now." You ended as you made your way around him.
"But you-"
"SOMEONE HELP IM BEING KIDNAPPED-"
"OKAY IM LEAVING" He said as he ran away, leaving you alone just like you wanted!
You looked around as people stared at you.
"I'm never doing that again.." You mumbled as you ran off towards your neighborhood.
──────────────
You made it back home, with a box in your hand and restaurant free. What's inside the box you may wonder? It's whatever game your interested in at the moment and a bunch of items related to it.
You opened your door and greeted your mother, then made your way up into your room.
Upon opening the door, your ears was the first to hear the insulting words that came out of your friend's mouth, as he bad mouthed your chat. And was also playing princess castle tycoon with the others.
"How's it going?" You asked, startling the poor boy.
He looked at you then back at your screen.
"Look at my castle."
"I love it 10/10."
"Thank you."
Your eyes made its way towards your chat and saw it changed from aggressive to excitement, seeing that you're back.
"Haha my fans missed me."
"No one cares."
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STREAMERS!
☆ Douma got picked on after he made it back to the restaurant without a single customer.
☆ IT was most likely from Akaza.
EXTRA!:
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TAGLIST: @deezy12299 (OPEN)
161 notes · View notes
floworence · 2 months ago
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I absolutely love how mha handles Toshinori and him being The Symbol of Peace.
Horikoshi could've went with the very popular route, having the guy who seems like The Hero™ be secretly corrupt, using the protagonist, the whole, single entity that is responsible for corruption of society, but he didn't do it.
When you first see All Might, you see this God-like figure, worshiped by everyone, someone larger than life. You see all that, and expect him to be a superficial, shallow, asshole who does it all for fame.
And then the reveal happens and we partially see the man behind the legend. Disabled, middle-aged man who is becoming jaded and bitter by the state of the world and heroism at large. First interactions we have with Toshinori Yagi and not All Might?
He is an asshole.
Except he is not.
Looking back at the first interaction he has with Izuku, he is really not trying to be mean, he really is trying to be helpful. He saw first hand what heroism does to people. He experienced it. He knows that heroism chews you up and spits you out, even with such power like OfA. He sees this trembling boy, with stars in his eyes, worshiping him like he is a God and all he sees is yet another person disillusioned with what heroism is, so he tries to keep him safe in the only way he knows at that moment: by crushing his dreams and facing them with harsh reality.
You have to remember that at this point he doesn't know Izuku, his impression of him is only of a hero fanboy who doesn't understand the dangers of hero life. Should have he been softer? More mindful of what he is saying? Yes, of course but this first interaction is important for his characterization.
Why?
Because, we as the audience see him make a mistake.
With this, we see that he is not a God. He is a human, a man, and that is the most important part of his character.
His humanity.
From then on we move onto the training montage, where we see more and more of the man, rather than the legend. We see that he is sassy, silly, caring and a rather mediocre mentor. We see good and bad. During season one and two, we as the audience familiarize ourselves with the man behind All Might, but actually we don't see him fully yet.
We are still like Izuku in a way, we know he is a human, not a God, but there is still this level of invincibility to him, yes he has his limits but still, he is this giant figure casting shadow.
It is not until post Kamino Ward arc we realize on who exactly All Might was casting shadow.
Yes, yes, yes, I know what you are expecting me to say here, that he cast the shadow on other heroes, Izuku, students, Japan, whole world even, and he did but we will get into that in a bit.
The person which was hidden the most was Toshinori Yagi.
It's not a coincidence that not only the story got darker with "All Might" not longer being present but that we also get a lot more moments with Toshinori being vulnerable.
Only after the protective shield of All Might is gone do we really start to see AND understand Toshinori.
We see exactly why he became a hero, his complete disregard for his own self, the workaholism, the pressure he was under to keep it all together.
Then, society collapses in on itself and Toshinori is left with a gaping void in his heart knowing it was all for nothing.
Horikoshi could've had All Might be corrupt, he could've been an asshole looking for fame but instead he made him into this deeply empathetic, caring, kind, loving man who just wanted to save others.
Society's dependence on All Might wasn't Toshinori's fault. He was just one individual put on a pedestal, held to such high standards that it almost killed him. Scratch that, it would've killed him if it wasn't for Izuku.
After Shie Hassaikai Arc, you see one thing that I haven't seen done before.
You see how Toshinori was also the victim of the hero society. You see how that man sees no value in himself except for what he can do for others. He feels completely worthless and undeserving to be even alive.
He wanted to become The Symbol of Peace, yes, but society made him into their only defense with even other pros admitting they are "rusty" because of All Might.
He never wanted to be the only one but after he was put on that pedestal he had the whole world on his shoulders and he carried it for years until the world bled him dry and then discarded him.
People becoming complacent wasn't his fault, he never advocated for everything to be left to him, never bragged he was the best, never made others feel lesser, and yet everyone took him for granted and that ultimately lead to the catastrophe that was the Final War.
You know what is the worst though? That he still felt like it was his fault and he will probably forever carry that guilt with him.
But in the end, it wasn't all guilt. Yes there was the guilt for not being able to stop the war, for indirectly causing the society to become complacent, for not being able to stop his students from risking their lives, probably the guilt of thrusting the weight of the world onto Izuku's shoulders (unknowingly, but that is for another post).
Final war arc is also Toshinori's final arc and his biggest realization.
His realization that Toshinori Yagi and All Might aren't two separate entities. That it's all him. The realization that he also had in the first epilogue: quirk doesn't make the hero, it's the heart.
That's what Iron Might represents. He answers Izuku's question here and he says:
Yes, you can become a hero without a quirk.
And with that, his sclera is once again white, because he is whole and he has hope once again.
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6okuto · 8 months ago
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MATSUKAWA RELATIONSHIP HCS
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gn!reader, timeskip mentions | 4 whoevah asked! 🫵👍
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waits until you're distracted/busy before suddenly saying shit like "first one to get to the lineup gets to pick extra snacks" at the grocery store
eats your leftover food if you can't finish
works hard to take you to a fancy restaurant on one of your first dates... doesn't know which ones are actually good so he's on reddit researching, texting the seijoh 4 gc, etc etc. he dresses up too... he wants to make sure you're happy and treated well 🙁
issei isn't super into or against pda,, he's happy if you're happy. most of the time it'll be an arm draped around your shoulder while you're sitting together or casual hand holding. he isn't opposed to a quick kiss either! :3
if you show him one of those videos that are like,, "if you know your partner, which one would they choose?" and he gets it wrong issei's like "?? tf are u sure" as if it isn't Your choice
he isn't used to getting gifts. if you give him a gift his first thought (fear) is that he's forgotten some kind of anniversary. but you tell him it's just because you thought of him and he gets all flustered and can't keep eye contact 🙁 you catch him glancing at/playing with the gift for the rest of the day
^ him with a lot of stuff actually LOL he tries to hide how Not Chill he is it's so cute 😭 you ask him to hold something but your hand is empty and you just interlock fingers? he's like wow okay if you wanted me you could've just said so As if his ears aren't red hshsdbshs
denies crying over a sad movie as he takes the tissue box from you (refuses to look at you until he's wiped his tears) (looks at you with red eyes and sniffles and says It's not even that sad)
says he'll take a photo of you then takes a selfie LOL
^ you'll have to show him how to take good photos... or learn together... he promises he's a quick learner + he thinks you look good in all of them
takes your compliments/comments to heart. you say his hair looks nice grown out and he takes a few extra seconds messing with it in the mirror, pushing off a haircut for a little longer. you say his new jacket looks great and he's like yeah of course it does,, then reaches for it more often than planned at its original purchase.
i think timeskip mattsun would worry about sharing certain stories from work ;; like... would it upset you (more than him)? did you have a rough day and would he make it worse? he keeps it pretty vague until you ask him to share because you can tell it's been big on his mind
mattsun's not one to care about what side of the bed he sleeps on (it's just the one is closest to a charging port) until you're together. like if you pick a side yourself, it becomes a habit for him to slide into the other even times you aren't sharing a bed. it just doesn't feel right anymore bdhsjdbsj
you know those trends where you ask the other person/people to draw flowers or stars for your lockscreen. he just sends a shitty dick drawing LOL. but he ends up spending super long on decent flowers after i promise. scrunching his eyebrows, moving his finger really slow, picking good colours and everything... even pulls up references. yeagh
sees you online listening to sad music and texts "you up?" in hopes of distracting you. he gets away with coincidental timing the first couple of times, but you figure it out. not that this changes anything (other than maybe his text to "you wanna talk?") — mattsun continues as an offer / reassurance he's there if you'd like him to be
so supportive. SO SUPPORTIVE. you have a big project you're working on? he's checking on you and complimenting you with every day of work, even if he isn't knowledgeable on it himself. you get a promotion or offer you've always wanted? you have to celebrate—you deserve it!! you have a big game coming up? he's in the stands with your jersey on and he's brought his friends to cheer too
^ he isn't really one to Jump for Joy, but he'll be grinning so big, and always matches your energy. (you like hugs and kisses? you got them! you'd rather a solid high-five or verbal praise? that's good with him too! he just wants you to know he's happy and proud of you)
^ actually he might jump for joy. a little. not in a YAHOO! YIPPEE!! way but in a LET'S GOOOOOO way.
you ask to meet the seijoh team and he's like. begging the universe no one's gonna embarrass him. everyone's like No way someone wants to date our mattsun?! Are you sure?! and he's 😐
^ tries to act cool in front of you. gets called out like "lmfao what are you doing" "so obvious" "okay mr. tough guy?" "blocked a ball and thinks he's hot" WBDJSNSSJ
^ brightens when you tell him he Is very cool and you like watching him. shoots his team a look and says something about how they're all single LOL
doesn't post you a lot, but he doesn't really post in general so the ratio of you on his profile is still great tbh. maybe for anniversaries or if he took a really good photo—keeps it minimal and won't write long paragraphs. adds a couple blurry or 0.5x pictures if you're okay with it
accidentally kicks you while he's napping and apologizes even though you swore he was deep asleep shdbsbns
lets you have the window seat. he doesn't actually care that much (since it's you) but he makes a scene of giving it up for you /silly /he's smiling
issei always does his first karaoke song with you if you're there. the first time it happens he doesn't even ask he just hands you the second mic and you're like wait what ??? LOL
gets scared if you say his full name. skips right over confusion and freezes like a deer in headlights even if he hasn't done anything
middle guy for autographs.. LMFAO 😭😭 like what do you mean you know oikawa tooru and iwaizumi hajime who then knows msby etc etc. you show up and say his name like :)) isseii?? :)) and he's like 🙄 Who's asking now. you know you know them too right. /lh
bro does not decorate. imagine unpacking for your new shared apartment and you're like ?? is that really all your stuff. and he's like ....Yeah??.. a lot of the things on his desk/around the house were bought together or by you
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i write hcs and im like wowww what a respectable post length and then i realize how long the points are and im like FAWK??!?! ur telling me i DONT actually have that many ?!?!?! so i keep adding more and thats why i take so long. then i stare at myself like GIRL GET IT TOGETHER!! EVERY TIME!!! 🙁🙁🙁
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yanderes-galore · 14 days ago
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may i request a yandere platonic duo Monkey king and Mk with a female darling thas been kidnapped and wont talk to them AT ALL.  darlings not scared , she just doing this out of spite and anger due to the fact that they took everything away from her hcs please
Sure! I'll see what ideas I can come up with for this :) A couple sections use female pronouns but it's never really focused in this since I'm so used to GN nowadays.
Yandere! Platonic! Sun Wukong + MK with Defiant! Darling
Pairing: Platonic - Sharing
Possible Trigger Warnings: Female Darling, Obsession, Manipulation, Overprotective behavior, Isolation, Kidnapping, Delusional behavior, Forced companionship.
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The two wouldn't understand why you insist on neglecting them.
They've always been your friends, right?
Knowing them and the fact they're teacher and student, I can see them having similar motives for a shared obsession.
They're both heroes who have seen how bad the world can get.
Considering Wukong's yandere behavior, it would make sense if he passed it down to MK.
Both of them do what they do to "protect" their obsession.
Doesn't matter what it takes as long as you're safe, right?
Unfortunately... Both of them decided keeping you at Flower Fruit Mountain was the best action to keep you safe.
It was no doubt Wukong's idea.
This is yet another case of two traumatized heroes being scared of losing you.
I imagine they do know why you're ignoring them, but refuse to see what they're doing as wrong.
They're trying to help keep you safe, yet they're obviously not keeping you happy.
Wukong seems like he'd give you space.
After all, they tricked a human woman to come to the mountain then trapped her here....
Protection or not, Wukong must have at least a little self awareness to know you're scared.
MK, on the other hand, is more insistent on you talking to him.
You two have been friends for a while....
He views you like a sister almost and is incredibly upset that you won't even acknowledge him.
Are you just going to ignore the years you've known him?
Ironically you feel the same way, for different reasons.
You never thought two heroes, ones that were your friends, would kidnap you like some damsel in distress.
It pisses you off, rightfully so.
The silent treatment is probably the most tame thing you could've done.
Yet it still makes MK anxious all the same....
MK may actually ask Wukong if what they're doing is the "right thing for her?"
Wukong would probably encourage MK, claiming you'd be safer here in the more peaceful environment of the mountain.
After all, MK most likely came to Wukong after experiencing fears of losing you.
This was no doubt after LBD and learning he's also a monkey demon....
Wukong, in response, manipulates MK into manipulating you.
The monkey king has similar fears to MK when it comes to losing those he loves.
Wukong is also attached to you, which would drive him to convince MK of this whole plan.
Your feelings are justified, extremely justified.
Yet the two act like they aren't.
Why would you punish them for doing something good for you?
They're both delusional, no doubt about it honestly.
Isolation is selfish and doesn't protect you.
Wukong tries to be accommodating, letting you roam with supervision and offering gifts or games.
MK is clingy with you, incredibly clingy.
He's begging you to forgive him, to pay attention to him.
He easily cracks over the silent treatment, practically having tears in his eyes as he wraps around your arm.
You merely stare at the wall, glaring when they try to talk to you.
They really did take everything.
Your friends, family, home....
Now you're stuck on this damn mountain with them and a bunch of monkeys.
When they first brought you here, you believed them when they said there was some sort of danger.
Now, probably months later, you don't believe that story.
You feel betrayed and irritated.
You know there's no way for you to get back home without powers like Wukong or MK.
Not unless you enjoy going through hazards that might outright kill you, which you know they'll never allow.
So, instead, being quiet and never speaking is your best method of defiance.
While you might be winning over MK, Wukong doesn't seem affected.
Wukong plans to keep you protected, he knows MK wants the same thing too.
It may be tough... but you'll break eventually.
Soon you'll realize you need them at some point...
Once you do, they'll accept you with open arms when you accept them... then you'll be safe, happy, and all theirs.
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archivedblog16 · 2 months ago
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"If anything Ozzie could’ve been the one who would ask where Stolas is, yknow an established character we already know and someone who knows the details and gave Blitzø the ozmedous crystal so they don’t have to travel illegally."
i think this is the exact reason viv wants to act like ozzie was incapable of doing anything by passive aggressively liking fans tweets that argued he couldnt have possibly spoken up. because if he had even tried to save blitzs heiny by saying truthfully, "hey, wait - i know that guy! my partner fizz is friends with him! and he didn't force himself onto stolas, stolas personally asked me for an asmodean crystal for him when he realized he had, and i quote, 'feelings' for the imp! see? look at his right forearm, that there's one of my crystals, legally approved of." then they all would've believed a seven deadly fucking sin over some pissy elsa rip off that's ranks below ozzie, who has NO evidence of these vile accusations, vs the literal asmodean crystal on blitzs arm that you can literally see throughout the entire the trial. it's not like they took it off or anything! it's still there! keeping in mind theres no such thing as bootlegs crystals, because every on screen depiction (and i think even on screen description) states that an asmodean crystal is a personal item tied to it's owner - it's LEGAL owner.
but if that had happened, then we wouldn't have gotten our stoliz climax where stolas shows he loves blitz by.. doing the bare minimum of NOT letting blitz die due to STOLAS'S DECISION in murder family to make them fuck for the book, instead of giving his "first ever fwiend" an asmodean crystal immediately. how romantic!
im just getting so sick of the parasocial vivziepop stans doing backflips in logic to justify the way the story is, without realizing that they could and SHOULD be given something better. they see the cracks, but viv just doesn't want them to, because it's her way or the highway - she's the biggest fan of her own show, so things happen the way she wants them to, not in a way that makes any logical sense when you put it under the usual critical eye the average writer (and casual viewer) would.
i mean, what if oz said that, but satan still deemed a punishment against blitz worthy for having the grimorie to begin with at all as an imp, still tried to execute blitz as a public display of power, and THEN oz texts stolas while notifications of fizz texting oz pop up? you still get your angst, have ozzie ACTUALLY be a good person who's willing to put his neck out on the line for someone lesser then him with no personal gain and not just be a canonical complacent royal fuck who was about to let his lovers reunited best friend die on public television, which is why i will never be invested in fizzozzie ever again tbh, and STILL have your big stoliz savior moment, without it happening due to just because of stolas just so happening to turn on the news that day. a text from oz could've given stolas a moment to very briefly consider if this is something he should intervene in, before realizing he has to, because blitz made him feel free for the first time in his life. now he can free him too, from the grimorie, and from suffering the consequences of his actions that put blitz in this position unfairly to begin with. also i wouldn't personally write stolas following this up with a song about how he's the mastermind behind a plan he knows nothing about or have him insult his "lovers" intelligence repeatedly within it, "that's the point," my ass, stolas could've just sung about the way blitz made him feel when they first met as kids and then again as adults, and why he gave him the grimorie because of that, contradicting andres imp rape claim and showing blitz that stolas DOES care in a way that ISNT self sacrifice, but nooooo, we need just one more song of stolas being a entertaining dick! no wonder she said this episode was self indulgent lol
Someone get rid of Vivziepop’s Twitter or someone on her Spindlehorse team get Viv a social media manager. 💀 The fact this woman is passively aggressively liking tweets in defense of her show is insane. And maybe just maybe Vivziepop should explain herself in the show instead of Twitter.
I don’t care what anybody says Ozzie could’ve done more and spoken up. He is one of the seven deadly sins and has the power to make a difference. If Stolas (someone who is lower than Ozzie in terms of status) can make a heroic entrance to save his booty call and talk/sing against Satan. Then Ozzie has a chance.
Anon why is your version so much better. That “Mastermind” song so unnecessary (it’s one of the few songs I personally don’t vibe with except the ending, I will admit Satan and other sins part is fire). Stolas says how he love blitzø yet uses any chance to insult and demean his intelligence in the most mean spirited way possible.
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iwritenarrativesandstuff · 1 year ago
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Actually I might as well add onto my thoughts and opinions on what's going on with skk right now.
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[ID: A screenshot from Bungou Stray Dogs Season 5 Episode 10. Dazai sits against the metal wall, holding his injured shoulder. His blood is spattered on the wall behind him. He looks up at Chuuya, who is standing before him with a gun to his head. End ID.]
I still think the drowning in 101 was a trap set by Dazai for Fyodor before he knew Chuuya would be there - it would be weird for him to sacrifice his partner and I see no reason he would flashback to some of their memories and have such a choked voice otherwise. Dazai is not like Mori. This has been long established since Dark Era - he is selfish, and thus bad at actually making the sacrifice play with someone he has an actual connection with. I think the trap was set, Dazai had no choice but to follow through, but hoped that Chuuya would break control and escape. He tries a speech which seems like it's going to be a very genuine farewell... only to switch tacks and play it off as though he doesn't care. I do think there was a possibility Chuuya could've died in that scene... but Dazai was deeply hoping he wouldn't.
Seems a silly thing, for Dazai to be relying on hope so much as a master strategist, but you have to remember that Dazai has a near unshakeable trust in Chuuya. He thinks very highly of him, and has a "Chuuya can push through anything" kind of mentality that he's had since they were teenagers. Of course Chuuya can break through the vampire brainwashing! He just needs the right impetus!
So we have Dazai do what he does best - try to piss off Chuuya. The "sorry there weren't any", the goading him into punching him - this is very typical behaviour for these two, and it might've actually worked if it weren't for Fyodor's intervention.
"Good-bye!" is probably a plan. It's the same name as one of Dazai-sensei's works (his last, unfinished work, in fact...), and we know Double Black's plans are named after the author's stories/poems. Note that it comes right after the first goading he does, when Chuuya is more likely to be agitated and thus aware. But also note that, if this is indeed a plan, then it's a little strange for it to be named after only Dazai's story, without incorporating Chuuya's. Their plans are named after combinations of their works' titles, remember? So, it can be reasonably assumed that this plan is solely Dazai's, that it's possible he came up with it on the fly, and that he is desperately trying to get Chuuya on board.
Unfortunately, the usual goading isn't working, so Dazai turns to something he only very rarely uses, and rarer still to Chuuya's face - and that is sincerity. He's trying to reach him, and I really think that's genuine. He's changing tactics, trying something else - because a) this plan won't work without Chuuya, and b) Chuuya is being mind controlled and you cannot convince me that Dazai isn't still royally pissed off about that. He needs to snap him out of it, now.
Even if this is a plan Dazai came up with on the fly, Chuuya will be able to catch on quickly and go along with it - but only if he is actually conscious enough to do so. Double Black's plans can only work when they are both on the same page, and right now - that's more than a little ambiguous. Dazai actually has no real way of knowing whether or not Chuuya heard him, or even if he did, if he is capable of acting on it - but Dazai's faith in Chuuya is so strong that he naturally assumes Chuuya can break through it. Having him shoot him like that came as a genuine shock.
Fyodor implicitly accuses Dazai of underestimating his partner... but I think it's the exact opposite. Dazai is so used to Chuuya being able to struggle through anything that for him apparently not to be able to in this situation is genuinely blindsiding.
It appears that Dazai, too, has been relying on Chuuya's strength.
Tldr: There is a plan, but it is solely Dazai's, not a typical joint skk plan and he has been trying to communicate it to Chuuya and break past the brainwashing - which means Dazai is actually being horribly genuine right now. Unfortunately... it doesn't seem like Chuuya is conscious enough to participate in this plan at the moment (though possibly conscious enough to, like Akutagawa, prevent himself from making a killing blow).
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floertoer · 11 months ago
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as a certified filler enjoyer I'll come out and say I wish fairy tail had more filler. the cast of fairy tail is so big that there's practically an endless amount of side stories to tell with them. Something I would've liked to see is erza teaching wendy how to drive one of those magic leech vehicles:
Erza: "Okay put your foot on the gas pedal and gun it as hard as you can!"
Wendy: "Uh, Erza which one's the brake?"
Erza: "What do you mean brake?"
driving isn't super big in fiore, you have to have a nice amount of magic to use the cars and there isn't any paved road really, a horse or a train can practically get you anywhere but it's still a nice skill to have so erza tries to teach wendy.
of course the rest of team natsu get involved which ends in disaster. best to worst drivers are gray, erza, lucy, natsu. gray is better than erza just because of the fact erza is a super reckless driver. she drives like she had to be somewhere yesterday so when she tries to teach wendy she also tries to pass on all her bad habits. wendy is more concerned for the safety of everyone around her so she tries to over correct what erza teaches so she doesn't place her foot on the pedal as hard as erza tells her to and brakes more often then necessary which makes her just as much of an annoying driver as erza just in the opposite direction
somewhat surprisingly lucy can't drive because no one taught her. she was rich so why would she have to drive? she got pulled around in a horse drawn carriage so her and wendy learn at the same time. natsu, although he is below lucy on the list, can drive; he's just the worst driver you've ever seen. he drives the same way he fights, so he ends up putting way too much magic into the car at once. (he's blown up at least one car) while erza teaches wendy how to do cool u turns, natsu and lucy are in the back crashing into stuff which quickly turns into him being banned from helping her because damn it natsu these are rentals
gray is mostly trying to stay out of it, he trusts erza to teach because "she managed to teach that moron how to read". others from the guild probably stop by and give their two cents. laxus (who can drive) doesn't really offer advice other than "don't hit anyone cause you will have to pay for their hospital bills" which makes wendy abuse the brake pedal more. mira tries to give her advice about keeping a cool head while on the road but she has the craziest road rage known to man (gray reveals this) and it's a blessing cars in fiore can't honk. cana stops by but has no good advice because even though she knows how, she hasn't driven in five years. "I have to be sober to drive but I can get drunk on a train."
after all the lessons wendy tries to drive down the road and it goes like this:
Wendy: "Woah, this is actually kind of fun. Erza look! I'm-"
Gray: "Wendy keep your eyes on the road!"
*crashes into a building*
wendy doesn't become a master driver but she appreciates that so many people tried to teach her something. (while lucy doesn't learn anything at all) master makarov is a more than a little upset that they destroyed (2) cars but what can you do? erza definitely broke more than two desks trying to teach natsu to read so technically it could've been worse, he tries to rationalize to himself.
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bekolxeram · 8 months ago
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During this hiatus, other than rewatching S7 for cute moments that we missed and coming up with headconons and new fic ideas, may I suggest going back to actually read/watch/listen to interviews with the cast?
Certain more dedicated members of the fandom tend to overfixate on one single sentence or even word the cast uttered and ignore all context around it. Sure, some of them might came into it with an agenda (like many journalists did sadly) and confirmation bias took care of the rest of it, but at the same time, who has time to read pages of disjointed chat with actors improvising answers without full knowledge of the production side of the show?
I've seen people proving Eddie's queerness by this quote from Lou's interview with the Hollywood Reporter in April:
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This alone has been interpreted all sorts of ways, from Ryan not accepting this storyline (which doesn't make him homophobic btw, he could've simply not seen Eddie's story going this way, or he thought he wasn't equipped to do this storyline justice), to Buck's LIs not agreeing to come back because of scheduling conflict, to the writers just thought it was more appropriate for Buck to be queer.
I'm not here to speculate anything, I'm just going to point out earlier in the same interview, Lou also said he always knew this storyline would be with Oliver:
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I don't know what's going on here, Lou might have insider information, but it also could be him just speculating over Tommy and Eddie's quickly formed friendship. To my knowledge, Tim has never confirmed that Tommy's queer storyline would be with Eddie before it supposedly fell through. In fact, Tim did say once it felt like Buck's story:
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And then there's Lou's supposed dislike of filming make out scenes:
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I do agree with him that gratuitous scenes on TV are unnecessary. I can't even count how many times I'm watching TV with my family when a graphic sex scene comes on unprompted, and my family members and I have to try our best to pretend we don't see it. But he also said that he didn't like it only when it didn't add to the story. Like we saw in 7x06, Lou gladly rubbed his face into Oliver's because this is how Buck came out.
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There's also the part most people skipped through when Lou talked about the 7x04 kiss:
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Lou (and everyone involved in the storyline) doesn't want Tommy to seem predatory. I have no idea if it's a reference to a possible earlier version of the script with an Eddie bi awakening instead of a Buck one. What I'm getting is that Lou and Tim tried to avoid playing into the stereotype of gay men hanging around knowingly straight men just to get into their pants.
And boy was Lou right. If they went for a full make out scene, the fandom discourse would've been so different. Naysayers wouldn't have been latching onto bachelor party costume or daddy issue joke. It would've led to much more serious allegations.
I'm happy it all worked out in universe as well. As we've seen from the past 7 seasons, Buck has no problem getting sexual partners. In the past he tried having physical relationships with women in hopes that it would lead to an emotional one, he also tried intentionally holding off intimacy just because he thought it would get in the way of boding with someone on a humanly level. This is the first time someone picked up Buck's (unintentional?) flirting, decided to break the ambiguity (landing it like a good pilot), gave him a brief peck to test the water, and then left to give Buck time to process his feelings.
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Not only was it okay for Buck, it left him wanting more.
And lastly there's the allegedly "Tommy is just Buck's gay mentor to test thing out with" thing:
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But earlier in the interview, it was established that Lou said it as a response to why the other shippers should still embrace Buck and Tommy's relationship. He didn't actually know what would happen in the future:
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savannahsdeath · 2 years ago
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Hiii, so I wanna request an ellie x reader where they are like fake dating but then one night they're out at a bar and some guys are messing with/bothering (basically harrasing) reader and Ellie BEATS them up. Like bad lol. Then reader gets mad at Ellie, insisting she could've "handled it herself" but then ellie ends up accidentally saying she's in love with reader hence why she got so protective
i cant stop thinking about this omg.
ELLIE WILLIAMS X READER
mdni please<3
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warnings: 18+!! mention of alcohol, catcalling, sa and just creepy guys overall, blood, fighting
writers note: writing this took my blood sweat n tears and im not sure wether it was worth it or not
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while you and ellie had been close and even affectionate with one another, the nature of your relationship had always been that of simple friends. holding hands, sitting on her lap, or other romantic gestures seemed natural and casual between the two of you without any thought to anything more. however, you were both acutely aware that everyone believed you were romantically involved and you knew that was one reason you were still single.
when you were in ellie's room you began to notice little things. she had framed pictures of the two of you together, notes and sketches she had made about you, and a diary full of your name. dina and jesse kept teasing you about it, but 'isn't it what friends do?'
and, god, how oblivious you were.
one day, you took her out to a local bar, feeling the need to just drink and forget about everything for one night.
as you walked into the pub, you couldn't help but notice all the heads that turned to watch as you passed. it was like something in the air compelled you to turn to look at her. a familiar feeling of warmth ran through you and you instinctively reached out to take her hand. ellie giggled at your gesture, but didn't let go and you continued through the crowd which got already bored with your appearance.
it was just a normal night, the drinks making you a little tipsy and loosening your tongue, but everything was going just fine.
you saw a group of boys your age suspiciously eyeing you and ellie, their gaze mostly focused on you and your clothes.
well, that's true, you didn't put your everyday clothes on, but you had a good humour and felt like dressing up... actually, who am i trying to lie to? you wanted to look good for your friend.
she didn't notice the boys, but you did. your eyes met with the one in the leather jacket, and he looked away quickly. his group turned back to their beers, but you couldn't stop thinking about the way he glanced over at you.
the situation made you a little uncomfortable, but you played it cool and ignored the boys, turning your attention back to ellie. she was in her element, chatting away in a loud and lively fashion, her hands flying to emphasize whatever story she was telling. you couldn't help but let out a laugh as you took in the scene.
things were going just fine until one of the boys approached you. "hey, gorgeous." he said, in a voice that was trying just a little too hard to sound casual. "can we buy you a drink?"
ellie frowned, her gaze flickering between you and him. "she's not alone."
the boy tried again, undeterred. "i wasn't talking to you." he scoffed, his voice dripping with condescension as he turned to ellie, pointing you with his chin. "who wears a dress like that if they're not looking for a good time?"
ellie looked shocked for a moment, then her eyes narrowed. she leaned towards the boy, keeping her voice low. "this dress looks like it's worth more than you make in a month. now, leave us alone."
the boy laughed, turning his attention back to you, seemingly oblivious to the warning. "why don't you take off the dress and let us see what's underneath?"
you watched ellie open her mouth to answer for you again but you cut her off with a shake of your head and quiet 'let it go'. she looked at you, her mouth half open, as if she was waiting for your permission before starting her response. she rolled her eyes at you, but said nothing.
the boy seemed frustrated that his insult was met with no reaction. he jabbed his finger at you. "or maybe you're just a dyke?"
at that, ellie's eyes flew open. "the fuck did you just say?" she hissed, clenching her fists to the point her nails were digging into her palm.
you gripped her wrist, trying to pull her away. "ellie, come on–"
as things were just starting to escalate, a bartender rushed over, looking agitated. "hey, hey! none of that in here!" he pointed at him. "you, out now!"
the boy scoffed, as did his friends, but obediently left. you could hear him muttering complaints under his breath, but his voice faded away into the background din of the bar.
you kept close to ellie as the boys were led out.
ellie was still fuming, taking a few deep breaths. she looked up at you with daggers in her eyes. "why did you stop me? he deserved more than that." after a little pause she added; "no one will disrespect you like that. and no one can disrespect you when they're unconscious."
you weren't sure whether to be amused or horrified at her comment. "and how exactly were you planning on achieving that?" you asked, raising an eyebrow.
ellie smirked, taking your hand in hers. "you don't need to know. just know that i was prepared if things had gotten out of hand."
that answer did little to ease your skepticism. "you know you can't go around knocking people out like a character in a movie, right?"
ellie raised her eyebrows, staring at you with a challenging expression. "sure i can," she grinned, "if the situation calls for it.
"ellie," you said, "be serious." but ellie's confidence was charming, and you couldn't help but crack a little smile. "alright," you added. "just... try to keep your cool next time, alright?"
she nodded, squeezing your hand. "promise. no knocking heads unless i absolutely have to."
you decided to leave the bar shortly after, not in the mood to socialise anymore. she told you to wait outside as she, obviously, paid for the both of you.
the atmosphere outside wasn't so cozy - not only because it was cold and windy, but you also saw those boys there, smoking and laughing. you thought about going back inside but they didn't seem to notice you - well, not at first.
one of the boys spotted you and instantly smiled. he nudged his friend and said something you couldn't quite make out. the two of them laughed and started approaching you. "hey," the first one said, "is your little girlfriend taking too long in there? we could take you home and warm you up."
the thought of people thinking ellie is your girlfriend seemed funny but not new to you, so you ignored it.
you rolled your eyes at their comment, but kept your expression neutral. "no, thanks, but you might want to work on your pickup lines. 'warm you up?' really?"
the two boys exchanged a look and laughed. their friend said "oh, she's feisty. we like that."
you felt your stomach drop. ellie was still inside the bar and you had no clue how long she might be. not too long, you hoped. i mean, how long can paying for a few drinks take?
as if on cue, ellie opened the door and came out. she stopped dead in her tracks as she noticed the two boys who'd just been hitting on you.
she took a moment to take in the situation, then rolled her eyes and scoffed. you were relieved to see she was wearing a smirk that told you she was ready for whatever was coming.
the two boys stared at ellie, eyes darting from her to you and back again.
"oh, hey ellie." you exhaled, putting on your best fake smile. "good timing. we were just about to–"
ellie didn't give you the chance to finish. "sorry i took so long." her tone was friendly, but it was obvious she was trying to claim you as her territory. all three boys watched her in silence.
"can i help you, boys?" ellie said sweetly, her voice dripping with sarcasm. she put her arms around your waist, which only amplified her already mocking tone.
the boys watched her with leering eyes. the tall blonde one put his hand on his friend's shoulder. "we were just saying how pretty your friend is." he paused, raising an eyebrow. "she sure looks... hm, how do i describe it? slutty?"
at that, ellie's demeanor changed, and her previous smile faded. her look was cold as ice, and she clenched her fists again.
'this is getting out of hand'
"hey," the tall blonde said, "i bet there's something better under that dress." he pointed at you.
"yeah, there's a fucking gun." you hissed.
he didn't seem to take you seriously, as he should - you were in fact completely unarmed. the only weapon you had was... well, ellie. "we'd like to personally test that theory."
ellie's knuckles turned white. "i'm here with her."
"look, you can watch from a distance." the blonde laughed. "but me and my friends here are going to have a good time with a girl like this, whether she wants it or not."
you felt yourself flush with embarrassment. "oh, uh, no. we're just leaving." you said, grabbing ellie's wrist and trying to pull her away.
ellie wasn't having any of it. "go to the car and wait for me there." she whispered, tossing the keys to you.
"you're crazy." you whispered under your breath.
"just do it," ellie hissed. "i can handle them, and i don't want you getting involved."
'like i'm not involved already.'
it was impossible to argue against that last point, and you reluctantly followed her instructions.
you were surprised they didn't try to stop you but you realised they probably know what's going to happen.
as you opened the car door and got in, you watched the situation from the safety of the passenger's seat. the boys had surrounded ellie, one with his hand on her arm and the others laughing and pointing at you. you couldn't hear them but you guessed what they talked about. they were just little shadows in your eyes now, you barely could tell which one's ellie.
from your vantage point, you watched ellie and the three boys facing off. she spoke in a quiet, measured voice that you weren't sure you wanted to hear the contents of.
suddenly, you saw the blonde reach towards her. that was enough for her.
she slapped his hand away, and in a swift motion, kicked him in the groin. he let out a, silent for you, cry of pain and sank to the ground, while the others were still recovering from the surprise. ellie turned to them and and soon they were all on the ground. the blow knocked the last boy out cold. ellie quickly turned to the blonde, who was now sitting up and holding his injured part. without a word, ellie approached him and kneed between his legs just as he was about to stand up.
the boy groaned, dropping back to the ground. ellie reached down and grabbed him by the shirt. she hauled him back up, and raised her fist again. you turned away, not wanting to look at the scene and uncomfortably shifted in the passenger seat, hoping it'll be over soon.
she took her time. you didn't know what could they possibly say to piss her off that much but you didn't want to.
she approached the car and got in, not saying a word to you.
you didn't say a word either, you just watched her cautiously driving. your anger started to grow - at the boys, at the whole situation, even at ellie. what she did was just reckless, one of them could be armed... or have really good skills. plus, they barely touched you and the comments didn't really get to you anyway.
you let out a frustrated sigh and turned to her. "why did you have to make such a big deal out of nothing? i could have handled it just fine on my own."
ellie didn't look at you or even acknowledge your words. she kept driving, her attention focused on the road.
you weren't sure what to think, but it frustrated you that she was acting like this. 'why can't she just drop the tough girl act and admit she overreacted?'
you tried again. "ellie, come on, i know you were just trying to help, but–" you sighed. "just ignore me, i guess."
you turned to look out the window in annoyance, but then ellie spoke suddenly, her tone deadly serious. "you know i was right to do what i did."
you whipped your head around to look at her in surprise. "what do you mean?"
ellie looked straight ahead as she kept driving. "those guys would have taken advantage of you," she said quietly, "like it or not."
her words hit you like a ton of bricks. you sat in silence for a moment, trying to process what she said.
"but that's ridiculous," you frowned, "i wouldn't have let anything happen."
ellie shot you a look. "you really think you're the one in control of the situation? sweetheart, you have no idea. as soon as you let them talk to you, it was out of your hands."
you mockingly laughed. "oh, so i can't handle them but you can? what am i, a deer surrounded by lions?"
ellie sighed, shaking her head. "god, you're infuriating," she said, keeping her eyes on the road. "yeah, actually, you are like a deer surrounded by lions – completely oblivious to how predatory these men are."
she cast a sharp and serious glance at you, making you flinch.
"i can handle myself." you repeated, with growing annoyance. after a moment, you added; "why the fuck would you do that? you should mind your own business."
"i make it my business to look after my friends." ellie answered, still not looking at you.
you felt your blood boil, but you forced yourself to remain calm. "i don't want you to look after me, ellie. you are my friend, not my babysitter."
"oh, i'm sorry!" she shrugged, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "i thought friends protect each other!"
you scoffed at her last comment. "how exactly was i in danger?" you asked. "they barely even touched me!"
she sighed again, this time with irritation. "jesus, you were really lucky, alright? i get that you feel like your ego's been hurt by all this, and i'm sorry. but if i hadn't stepped in, you could have been hurt. maybe the situation wouldn't have escalated to violence, but i wasn't taking any chances." she looked at you, her expression softened and she seemed truly concerned. "do you understand?"
you huffed but your tone calmed down a little. "that was my problem, not yours."
"fine, it was your problem," ellie rolled her eyes. "just don't get mad at me for looking out for you."
"i'm not mad." you said, your tone turning defensive. "i'm annoyed you think i'm incapable of looking after myself."
her eyes fixed on you, cold and sharp. "you're lucky i was there."
she parked the car in front of your house, where she was supposed to sleep this night. at least, you planned it like that. now you'd prefer to be alone. you let her in anyway, hoping to talk about what happened in better circumstances.
as soon as you came in, you took some ice bags and went back to ellie. her knuckles were bloody red and swollen, even though she didn't seem to be hurt. she looked up and took the bag from your hand, but her expression was still stern.
"thanks." she said in a raspy monotone, holding it to her hands.
you cleared your throat awkwardly, hoping that the ice would help ease the situation. "ellie, i just want to say i appreciate what you did, but–"
she sighed and shook her head. "don't start."
"well, i was going to." you said, unable to hide your irritation. "you overreacted. i don't need your help. it was my problem to deal with."
ellie stayed silent for a moment, as if contemplating what you just said. "i might have overreacted," she admitted, "but i still don't regret what i did."
you sighed and threw your hands up in frustration. "we're just going around in circles here. why can't you understand that i can handle myself? i don't need you. i didn't ask for your help. i don't understand why you just have to get all protective over me."
ellie sighed, dropping the ice bag to her side. her voice was still calm, but with a hint of anger. "i was trying to look out for you. i was trying to do something nice, and you just keep yelling at me for it."
you felt your confusion growing even more. "but- why?"
she shook her head in disbelief. "because i love you."
the air seemed to suck out of your lungs when she said that. her words were unexpected, and you wanted to know if you heard her right. "what did you say?"
ellie chuckled and nodded, her expression almost teasing but still nervous and even a little aggresive. "i said i love you, of course."
you couldn't reply, too stunned to speak. you just stared at her, feeling the familiar heat on your cheeks rise.
she clicked her tongue at your obliviousness. "that's why i'm so protective. that's why i couldn't just ignore how they talked to you."
you just blinked, still unable to process what she said.
ellie must have sensed your confusion, because she continued. "i'm not your babysitter, alright? you're a big girl. you can take care of yourself– but that's not what i meant." she took your hand in hers. "i'm worried about you because i love you."
the realization of what she'd said suddenly hit you like a train, and you felt your heart race. for what felt like an eternity, you just stared at her, still not believing what you were hearing.
ellie just smiled, a little bit embarrassed, as if she hadn't just made one of the most profound declarations of love imaginable.
"so," she said quietly, "can you forgive me now?"
her tone was so innocent, so sincere, that it seemed almost cruel to keep arguing with her. it seemed cruel that you ever did.
in the end, you nodded. "yeah, i can."
that was all it took for ellie's expression to light up.
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soleminisanction · 8 months ago
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Issue 6 of "The Saga of the Super Sons" answers an important question: where the fuck has Dick been in this scenario?
Answer, apparently: At college.
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Which is... where Bruce Junior is supposed to be. Bruce Junior, whose mother Bruce almost certainly met years after he took Dick in as a ward. Bruce Junior, who appears to be younger than Dick, but not by that much.
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If you came at a Silver or Bronze Age writer with today's modern "but why is this character still 17" bullshit, I think they'd laugh directly in your face.
By the by, Dick is here because Bruce has been murdered.
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I guess some things never change.
This does present an amusing comparison with the more modern takes on the subject like Prodigal/Knightfall, Gotham Knights (the game) and Battle for the Cowl, because here the boys treat Batman like something they expect to be left to one of them in Bruce's legal, actual will, like the one read out loud by his lawyer, implying the lawyer would be in on the whole secret identity thing.
When that obviously doesn't happen they come to an agreement to both... team up? But also compete? To find out who murdered Bruce, and whoever does the actual uncovering wins the cowl. This, for... reasons involves seal hunting in the Arctic and, ah... northern Native people. Which means a lot of use of a certain slur that all Natives in that biome used to (and still do) get lumped under, which I shall endeavor to write around but just know, there's a lot of it. Like, a lot. A loooooot.
Less awkwardly, check out what Dick Dillin apparently thought a killer whale looked like:
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Hell, look at those mildly demonic black seals. I know this was pre-Internet dude but you could've gone to your local library. Or picked up a Seaworld ad.
Another thing that apparently never changes: Super-Sons comics insisting that only blood relatives count as "real" children.
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To be fair, I wasn't actually expecting to see Dick referred to as Bruce's son at all in this. And Bruce Jr. is the only one who says this, and he's pretty consistently portrayed as the more immature and bratty one in this equation, so it doesn't really feel like the story is "agreeing" with him, it's just an interesting parallel.
Of course, because this is the 70s, they don't have any consideration for things like tactical costume changes or the realities of being mostly normal guys in the Arctic. So, though the boys arrive wearing sensible parkas, once they change into their superhero costumes Dick is just, snow shoeing through the tundra and water skiing behind a seal in his short sleeves and bare legs.
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You'll probably be grateful to hear that the white industrial seal hunter is in fact the bad guy of this story -- this is actually one of the more cohesive stories in the saga so far in that regard. Simon Link was exploiting the land by killing too many seals, and then massacred part of the native village when they fought back trying to stop him, so this man Malook wanted to kill him. But, unable to find him and unable to get the white authorities to listen to him, he instead traveled to America to target his business partner, Bruce Wayne.
Bruce Junior is appalled by the accusations but, interestingly, Dick is willing to hear the guy out. When Link's crime is exposed (with the help of the Supers Senior and Junior, natch), he tries to escape across the ice.... disguised as a seal... aaaaand...
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Huh. Okay then. Justice is served, I guess.
Oh also Bruce Senior's still alive.
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I mean... good on you for realizing the need to make amends for funding exploitative colonialism, Brucie-boy, but did you have to do it in a way that put your son through the exact same trauma you went through? Complete with the murder mystery dinner theater death scene?
Not to mention your poor wife, do you know how much shit you two have put her through in the last however long it's been?? Junior faked his death complete with a full funeral in the first issue of the saga and now you're doing the same thing! If you actually did marry Talia she'll gut you both the next time she sees you and probably Dick too just because she's never liked him.
Anyway, for a parting shot, check out the image they used to advertise this story on the cover, it's one of the funniest things I've ever seen. Beware the Ominous Pixie Boot!
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tuliptiger · 6 days ago
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Bro I hate Silco so much. Bro. And don't get it twisted right. He's a good character, he's well written or in THE VERY LEAST incredibly interesting and compelling. To me I guess. I still can't stand him, I hate him and I think he embodies every human flaw a person can have. And every bad decision we make at our lowest points.
And for that I can't stand him in the purest way and I think that's kind of awesome. Get him out of my face though lol fuck that guy. Great presentation of what I feel a lot of people in the world are like or have the potential to be like rn.
For what he was meant to be, having just found out the original plan for him which I really shouldn't consider. Or maybe I should in favor of him, as a little grace for him. I guess Jinx and him were supposed to be like romantic. If that's your thing go for it I guess but I'm not going to talk nicely about it and it disgusts me as a heads up. Fair warning.
I'm forever grateful they didn't pull a Joker/Harley Quinn but because jesus christ I think I actually would've hated Arcane for that. For all you people complaining about Arcane, sure that's your right and it's all personal tastes anyway but it could've been actually, sincerely awful. It would've ruined Jinx as a character and undercut all of her nuance, her autonomy as a real, deeply thought out character. Her struggles, her mental health, her trauma, it would've fucking sucked.
I hate Silco for even the possibility of that and unfortunately i think it explains a little bit about some things. But anyway, back to hating Silco.
1.) He betrayed every single thing he's ever cared about in his life. He betrayed Felicia by trying to and knowingly kill her children. He betrayed the promise he made to not JUST Vander but to Felicia and himself.
Because what? Vander betrayed him first? Because he tried to kill him? Because he probably does feel genuine regret about maybe enacting the event that got Felicia killed? We never get the story but I think it's implied. Either that or Vander really was just deep in grief and rage and put that on Silco. I think they both fucked up for the record but Vander didn't CONTINUE that for the rest of his life.
What did any of that have to do with Vi and Powder/Jinx though? He's the reason everything bad happened, maybe you could blame Viktor since he went back to give Jayce the rune but every bad moment after that is almost exclusively Silco.
2.) He bribed Marcus contributing to the corruption in Piltover and Zaun. He fed drugs to Zaun for the point of nothing in my opinion. Because he couldn't come to terms with his grief, he couldn't make Piltover pay the way he wanted them too? He justified his own terrible actions for some idea of an independent Zaun for what? For who? Piltover may have taken from him but he actively chose to burn whatever he had left by trying to kill Powder and Vi.
3.) He's the reason Vi and her crew lost their loot, and their lives NOT Powder. He's the reason or at least the means for Singed to create more fucked up abominations and shimmer.
4.) He IS A HUGE SOFTIE he's soft as fuck. He loves and he loves deeply but he could never get over himself to do better. And this is possibly the main reason I hate him, he sincerely loved Vander and Jinx and Felicia and Zaun. People get hurt all the time, and it isn't the same as the trauma he faced but I DON'T think a reasonable series of decisions is to betray everything you are and have worked for to fuck over literally everyone around you. He is the scorched earth method, he wanted to hurt everyone and everything for what he felt and experienced. He's so incredibly selfish I cannot stand him.
5. A close contender, maybe even tied because I love Jinx so much. I hate that he is directly related to all of the hurt Vi and Jinx have experienced. I hate, I loath, I detest what he did to Powder and to Jinx. I feel so fed with season 2 episode 7, we DIRECTLY see what happens when Silco doesn't decide every day to hurt the world around him and hurt everyone in it. What happens to Powder without his fucked up influence.
I never thought anyone made Jinx specifically, like there isn't someone to blame because it felt diminishing to Jinx herself. But I'm rethinking it, I would say with certainty Jinx wouldn't have existed without Silco. I don't give him full credit, not in the creation of her and not her herself but the REASON she was reborn into a different person. Powder and Jinx created Jinx, but she created her because she had to, because Silco brought her into a fucked up world where she had to be different to survive.
Silco didn't support her, he enabled her, made her fear the world, fed her insecurities and projected himself into her. And because he does love, he really really did love her I think, that was what she felt she needed as a TWELVE year old girl. She needed a guardian who had her best interest at heart and not just love. Whatever support she had before, he ripped it from her and shredded it, and from that pile of rubble and ash Jinx had to find herself and emerge. But she picked herself up and chiseled herself into who she is in the series not Silco.
She's smart as a whip, she's so incredibly clever. She knew to some extent the reality of what was happening. But reality didn't have any real gravity anymore for her without something to hold her to it. Silco, at any time, could have stopped what he was doing. He could've seen her hurting and said, this isn't it. This isn't worth it. But he didn't, and she didn't need a reason to change because she had someone who fed her love when she had no one. When she thought it was all her fault and where Silco tried to convince her Vander and Vi weren't good people and that they didn't love her, won't love her.
I could go on, I fucking hate Silco. Once again, I think he's the weakest character emotionally and mentally but certainly not writing wise. He's spineless, he can kill sure, but in the main universe he couldn't get over his own feelings of guilt and hurt to do better. Nobody is satisfied with the slow progression of equity, of freedoms and peace. Silco wanted to take it all violently, take it all and take everything around it down with him.
In another universe, he's better. He makes better decisions because a different set of events led to reconciliation between Vander and him. Because Piltover made the first move of peace after Vi had to be sacrificed. Because Marcus saw a dead Zaun child in the arms of her younger sister. Because a lot of things, Silco is a better man and I think he's stronger for it.
The main universe Silco was wrong about everything he did, he made every possible bad decision on purpose over and over and over again.
The fact that I just wrote what feels like an essay on this bastard should at least show how I hate him, in the way I don't like hate hate him. I hate him in the way good art makes you hate it in just the right way. I think he's interesting enough to think about. I don't hate the alt universe Silco, I just hate the main one. He's multifaceted, he's a villain, he just kind of sucks, he moved the story in permanent ways. He forever changed the world by facilitating the events that led to Jinx as a person in Runeterra.
Anyway Yeah I really really hate Silco. Thanks for reading lol If you have some good points or different interpretations of events with Silco I would genuinely love to read them especially if they are different. I'm the first to admit I don't fully understand all the subtleties in Arcane and I love it for that, but I miss things. Changing my view on what actually happened in scenes is one of my favorite things to do right now. I crave the richer and fuller offering of a closely inspected Arcane provides tbh.
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