#which at the time i thought would kinda ruin the experience of playing through the rest of the game since tj's route

[miharuhebinata]

NEVER TRUST TV TROPES BTW TV TROPES IS A LYING FUCK.

[xamag-draws]

BBR thoughts 2024

Since I mentioned that I finally dusted off an old project of mine and was ruminating on how I'd remake it, I thought I'd elaborate a little, now that I've solidified some concepts. For funsies

This is gonna be a bit of a long and unfocused one, but I don't share my personal thoughts here often, especially the stuff about my projects I always marinate in. And for once it's something that people have existing context for, so hey why not

So for anyone who hasn't been following me for a gajillion years, The Black Brick Road of OZ was a webcomic that I posted around 2013-2015, back when I was in highschool going on college (which is kinda crazy to think about). It was sort of a darker twist on The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, although I definitely leaned a lot more into dark humor more than anything in those first few chapters

I don't think it's available to read anywhere anymore, and I know people have been asking me about it. So here's the full proper archive of BBR, as full as it can be with deceased Flash

I totally used it as an excuse to shamelessly and self-indulgently experiment. It had interactive pages and GIFs and was wayyy too overproduced for what I could handle or what was necessary, but I did have great fun making it while it lasted

Unfortunately, that excess and the fact that I've changed too much as a person by the time I was in college is what ultimately killed it. The direction I wanted to go in was practically unrecognizable from the original idea started back in 2011, so there were many old hold-ups that I felt ruined it

At the time I kinda wished I could start/rewrite it all over, but considering that I pretty much had the entire script done at that point, it felt like a pointless sisyphean task. So I just put it on a shelf and didn't look back for about 8 years, because I didn't know what else to do

Now to be fair, the nature of my art has always been iterative and cyclical; when I feel like my creative juices have run dry I prefer to leave a project to marinate and move on to something else; cycle through other old things and bring in new skills and perspectives into the mix when I'm ready again. Not very productive, but it is what makes me happy to work on my OCs; I'm doomed to hit a wall with them eventually and I need some time to be able to find a new direction

So that said, I'm glad that BBR was left to marinate for that long. I don't think I was prepared, emotionally or intellectually, to tackle it again until now. The Wizard of Oz book (and the entire series of them, really) has always been near and dear to my heart, but there's a lot of context around it that I'm only unpacking now that I'm older

I think I always inherently feel negatively about the stuff I've made in the past, like its faults always jump out to me more than the positives, especially the more time passes. I've never liked that, and I do really appreciate the kind things people have to say about BBR to this day. The fact that it still can be recognized and remembered is very sweet

When I left it, I already found it "kinda cringe", and that feeling only deepened with years. When I took my first look back at it, asking the question "how would I rewrite it now?", at first I took a very cynical approach, as in "everything would have to be torn down"

But the more I sat on it, the more I found that I still see some merit and charm in the ideas I was putting out; I just didn't know how to execute them at the time (not to pretend that I know what I'm doing now, but I certainly know more at least). Turns out a lot of my old concepts could be changed substantially with just a few small tweaks. So I'd say that's a nicer way to think about my previous work

If you haven't seen yet, I posted a first draft of my new designs for some of the characters (the main group, the Goods and the Wickeds). Definitely subject to change, but more or less how I see them now

I'm just playing with these concepts; by no means would I attempt to remake BBR right this moment. Call it a pipe dream among my other ones. But just for fun, this is the direction I'd like to take:

Nowadays I'd probably make it a visual novel, with more emphasis on the visual part than the novel because I'm no English prose writer by any means. It'd still let me play a little with the interactivity while helping cut some corners on the drawing part (only some, I imagine I'd go hog wild anyway)

I've always intended for some events inspired by the sequel books to take place in BBR's past. Stuff like Jinjur's revolt or Ozma's rule preceeds the main events here. So I think it would be fun to follow the past of a few key characters alongside the main story. One chapter focusing on the present quest to see the Wizard, then one focusing on the past events (that are maybe reflective thematically); rinse and repeat

I'm also sticking a little closer to the original text in some regards. Not everything that I enjoy from the books would be translated here, it's still just a very loose fantasy on the material; but I'd like to be closer in spirit at least

I like mature, wise and powerful Glinda, I like kind and vulnerable Tin Man, I like the Wizard being a pathetic yet loveable liar, so I'm sprinkling in more of that for example

I'd like to keep some whimsy, but make it more grounded and a bit more serious to be coherent in tone. I think the original TWWOOZ book was a more realistic fantasy in some ways, even for the standards of the time; I like its simple but vivid tactile descriptions and details like bringing attention that Dorothy needed to eat and sleep

I find it funny that Baum specifically was averse to making his books scary or unpleasant, finding that unnecessary for telling a compelling kids story, but they still can get pretty dark and disturbing, at least for our modern sensibilities. Let's just say that I intend to use the Evoldo and Chopfyt storylines for my purposes. In that way, I feel like a "darker" Wizard of Oz retelling can still mostly be tonally in line with the original and balance it with enough heart and occasional humor

I slowly grew to appreciate the quaint old-timey quality of the original series, as well. The first book is both timeless and very much a product of the 1900s. Originally I tried to give it a little modern or at least anachronistic spin, but it was moreso because it's what I knew best, so these days I'd rather intentionally lean into the time period. Still not fully historically accurate by any means, but at least directly acknowledging the influence

The events of the story span across 40 years of these characters' lives, so I'm drawing inspiration from the entire so-called La Belle Epoque: the time period around 1880s-1920s. Basically I'm cooking, and my soup is old Victorian fashion morphing into Edwardian fashion and slowly inching towards flappers

Some new Dolly outfits

Lots of crazy things, political changes and innovations were happening at the turn of the century, which I think is noted and reflected by Baum in the books as well; the character of Tik-Tok might not blow any minds now, but he was one of the first robot characters in literature at that point; and don't even get me started on Jinjur, etc. Plenty of really interesting stuff one could lightly ponder in an Oz adaptation these days

Aesthetically, art nouveau has always been a big artistic influence for me, and it'd definitely be its time to shine here. John R. Neill's illustrations of the Oz books often keep me company as well. Nouveau architecture in particular fits that fairytale whimsy extremely well imo

I'd allow myself a little bit of art deco here and there, but ultimately its intimidating geometrical splendor is an antithetical to the flowery nature of nouveau and I associate it with a completely different era. Definitely fitting some characters like my Wicked Witch of the West, but shouldn't be overused

One of my main problems with the original BBR was that eventually I lost track of what it was even about; and the original ending felt too mean and unfulfilling to be worth it. Now I'd like to stick to the theme of home and family as my main theme, but in a different, more bittersweet way than in the book

An interesting connection I made is that a lot of my aforementioned older key characters (the Witches, Jinjur, the Nome King, etc) all came from the same reformatory as kids, that's how they know each other. In my recent research I learned that in those reformatories it was usually frowned upon to release the children back to the families, which were seen as the original corrupting influence regardless of the circumstance. The reformatory did everything in its power to cut that connection and make itself the only family those wayward kids were supposed to know and love. That's an unexpected tie into the theme of home that I'd like to explore as well

So yeah that's the current state of it. I have a bunch of outfit concepts I'm slowly cooking, although I'm now sure whether I'd post them... But I do miss these funny guys, and I'm glad some people still do as well :)

[henrioo]

°•*⁀➷ BEACH DAY: CROCODILE

꒰ SYNOPSIS ꒱ : "Crocodile is a king, and kings don't fulfill anyone's wishes, unless that someone is you. The small, young and only son of one of the most feared pirates, a child who would never have his desires denied by his father.

꒰ WARNINGS ꒱ : Platonic! Crocodile, IT'S NOT A ROMANTIC STORY, Dad! Crocodile, Child! Reader, Male! Child! Reader, difficult childhood due your Dad's business, mentions a lonely childhood, mean children

꒰ WC ꒱ : 995

꒰ NOTES ꒱ : Trying to back in my schedule of posting and writing, I'm passing through some bad time with a lot of personal problems so my mind is kinda off for everything, but at least I gonna try to post what I already had (I always say that and never do) anyway enjoy :p

Firstly, your father would be extremely offended if his precious son asked to go to the beach. Dear, your father is the king of the desert and is literally made of sand, why on earth would you want to go to a beach full of stupid people with dirty sand?

Of course, just as Crocodile is unable to refuse your requests every time, what can he do? He spoiled his little boy a little… so soon he's planning a trip to the beach while putting up with you talking about it every day since you as a little child couldn't contain your excitement.

Initially he thought about going to a private beach, he could rent an entire island just to avoid other people, but when you looked at him with those huge puppy eyes saying “but then there won't be other children for me to play with?” He gave up and was at your feet again, bless you, your perfect son who had him wrapped around your finger.

He agreed to go to a public beach, but that doesn't change that he didn't want many people, so he planned to go to a less inhabited island and during a period when there would be fewer people, of course, he made sure the beach was very beautiful and big enough so you can have the most fun. He wasn't ruining her experience for his own selfish limits.

Father of sunscreen, Crocodile doesn't want to see you turning into a pepper, so he makes sure you're completely white from all the sunscreen. It's a little difficult to do this with just one hand, but you were always a patient child and helped your father without any problems, soon you were ready, with your crocodile themed children's swimwear, your colorful floaties and animation for a lifetime.

Crocodile wasn't very excited about swimwear either, so he just wore an open shirt and longer shorts. The problem was that everyone on the beach was staring at the seductive man, was it his fault for being so handsome? Of course, having Daz Bones next to him staring deathly at everyone ensured that no one bothered him, which was perfect for the pirate.

Swimming too deep is a big no, Crocodile can't swim and that means he can't rescue you if you start to sink, not only that, but most of his employees are also Devil Fruit users, which just makes it difficult for him to be sure you will be fine in the water. Now if he goes with you to the beach with a non-user, like Mihawk for example, he may be more comfortable with you going to the deeper parts, accompanied of course.

Crocodile is also very careful about keeping you well hydrated. He knows that children are more sensitive, so he is constantly calling you to drink water, juices or any other liquid. Luckily, you are very obedient and don't waste the chance to drink something delicious, so it was easy to keep it under control. Crocodile also didn't trust just any restaurant or food vendor, so he hired a chef to prepare everything you could want to eat on the beach, whether it was fried fish or ice cream, you had everything at your disposal, prepared by someone you trusted, so Crocodile knew you I wasn't taking any risks.

He gets a little apprehensive when you get close to other children, Crocodile is extremely protective of you. After all, you are his greatest treasure, he would kill and die to prevent you from getting hurt in any way, but when he sees you smiling while playing with the children, he feels his heart relax, in the end, you are still a child, and he doesn't want to in no way to deprive you of having a normal childhood. He already knows how terrible it must be for you to be the son of a pirate, to live on a ship without ever settling on an island for long, the lack of children for you to live with, you can't even go to school, and instead you study with him, his life is not normal like most children and any opportunity he has to give you some moments of a normal childhood he is definitely doing it. He just wants you to grow up happy, regardless of everything.

Now, that doesn't mean he won't be a protective father. All he has to do is see you building your beautiful sandcastle, which he may have helped to stand with his powers without you realizing, when another older child approaches. He is reluctant but doesn't want to act immediately, it's only when the child kicks his castle that he gets angry, then a wave of sand covers the child, knocking him to the ground, the boy has probably swallowed enough sand to never but forget the taste. As soon as the boy runs away crying to his parents, Crocodile rebuilds his entire sandcastle before you can even miss him or cry about it. Your bright smile along with a “thank you daddy” makes it all worth it.

Although he enjoyed the beach day, which basically consisted of him sitting around watching you being a normal kid and having fun and the occasional discussion about business with Daz, the best part for Crocodile is when it starts to get dark, and you're already too tired. He carries you in his arms, using his powers to clean all the sand from your body, you are completely exhausted and sleep like a rock, with the only detail of holding your father's shirt with your small hand.

Crocodile just puts pajamas on you, preferring that you take a shower when you're awake, then he puts you in his bed and covers you. You have a huge smile on your face and are probably having sweet dreams, he watches you for a few moments before leaving to finish some things and then going to sleep.

[ranwan-love]

Pick a Card: A reality check you need.

Trying to give you a reality check as your blunt bestfriend....

Buy me coffee:

https://buymeacoffee.com/idcbutibel6

Pile one

Friends?? How is your friend circle?? Are you happy with them? Are they really nice people who knows the balance of give and take?? Do they support you even behind your back or just empty words on your face??? How do you feel after spending time with them???? Babe there are some questions you need to ask yourself and these are few of those.

You know what true nature of our soul is stability. It's not high vibration, low vibration or any vibration at all it's completely shunya. Don't confuse this with staying the way you are or not growing because you are at peace whatsoever but it's rather being at peace. Peace brings stability or anything that brings you peace leads to stability. Like walking out of your comfort zone brings peace or resting when needed.

Like let me explain

we are at frequency A; we attract everything of similar frequency. Eventually the space gets filled you can't attract more or if you forcefully try to attract or manifest, same frequency material will come to you in different ways or facade? And you might even feel exhausted or in endless loop.

you increase your frequency; like by doing your inner work, accepting your casualties, improving them and stay in this period for some time. When it becomes new normal to you, your frequencies shift and you attract better new things. This is kinda what I mean with stability and peace. I am sorry if I am not able to explain it well lol. But at same time if you start playing victim or self pity your vibration goes down and you attract same frequency people and things in life!!! So like I don't know if you gonna accept it or not but the friends or people around you are direct reflection of you. So stop resonating with these part of yourself, clean the space and focus on parts of yourself that you want to resonate with.

So now ask yourself if your friend or family don't bring you peace are they right for you? If not, why they are here and to what extent? On what parts they are reflecting on you.

Pile Two

Parents+protection??? Okay does your parents need protection or you need protection from them or maybe protection from yourself as you have mastered there voice in your head which is always there to hurt you.

I don't know why I suddenly thought of Palestine so I am setting intention for them too that they are safe. And if there's some other issues like parents having bad health or just you having tricky relationship with them. I hope it heals too.

You know what this pile at first gave me two type of energies one who love their parents or just hate them but after few minutes I realised no it's rather specific. It's pretty much love and hate relationship. It's like you love them alot but things they do, say or project on you ruins you completely. You might be living under same rooftop which turns out to be really toxic and takes quite a toll on you. At same time you can't hate them completely because you see how much they are working for you.

So I want to say it's ok. Things make way more sense from your perspective intead of some third party who will ask you to cut off them.

Instead try accepting, forgiving and drawing boundaries. I guess it kinda sounds stupid but let me try to explain

Accept that there's a part of them which cares for you even tho their actions says otherwise. Like even there words like wish you were never born, you should die, you would eat us alive anything. They don't mean it. But you would say hey they mean it because it sounded so genuine when they said it! So listen it's there ego self who said it, ego who have been tormented, went through pain, trauma,experience of there own. Try to imagine there higher selfs they definitely hate this behaviour too. Like does there higher self hate you same way, do they wish for you to die? It's just they project there pain on you and it somehow relieves them. You know why because that's all they can do! You have a chance to escape, you have freedom. They never did. Be it your mom or dad! So this is all they could!, so there words hold no value other than just pain.

genuineness you felt in those words was pain they were feeling. It sometimes also comes from a place that my kid is different what if society doesn't appreciate it, worst case hurt him/her? Because that's what happened to them. So while trying to protect you from so called society they become something worse or you can say became the society they were scared of!

So forgive them! Everytime they argue stay quiet, don't give unnecessary reaction,observe where the pain is coming from. You will be able to generate empathy without getting hurt.

Third draw boundaries! Now you accepted and forgave them but that doesn't mean now this is enough so draw boundaries! Start with subtle ones and than eventually increase them. Create space for yourself.

Pile Three

Okay so how does it feel to be your biggest enemy? Does it feel good? Are you enjoying it? Just a genuine question are you sadist or masochist? Maybe both??? Like is it enough or are you going to do it more?? Do what??

"SELF HARM!!!! SELF PITY!!!!"

Like okay bud! I know you had harsh life, traumatic childhood even whole of teenage but does that mean you gonna keep self pitying yourself? Do you think a prince will come?? Your twin flame will come or perhaps jungkook will come??

It's wierd to explain but it's more like you don't play victim but self pity alot!! It also takes away power in really quiet way.

Let me try explaining with example. Imagine you have set of bad experiences, where you barely survived and reached here. You definitely observe how strong you were or how much you have grown. You analyse that thing so well to point you have realisation that you were not a victim but a warrior. But than you self pity like oww man why me why such harsh experience didn't i deserve better, i was a kid too. Would I be better if things were different??

You just keep reliving the moment and the pain.

At this point you just like pain? I think you watch way too many kdrama where main character is shown so powerful because she goes through so much. So you have made this belief

"pain=growth/greatness". The pain or experience you were given they might have been source of transformation or growth but you reliving those experiences in your head is not. You are just patting your ego that you are next chosen one or something. Babe even if you are chosen one , if you stay stuck in your head, procrastinating what you need to do, ignoring your body needs you won't be able to fulfill your purpose of chosen one. So do some grounding and practical work. Like if you are doing everything and still things are not working it's simply because you are stuck in this mental cycle.

I don't know if this will go along the above message but just accept whatever happened,happened.

You already learnt from it, If some message is important it will come as direct clear sentence in your head. Best of luck.

*you might be poet or writing poems might help you release this self pity or pain inducing habbit!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thanks alot!!! 💚

Please please let me know if it resonated with you.

It will help me develope confidence as I am really new to doing readings for other people. It was always limited to myself or my really close people. So your opinions would matter alot.

Thanks alot once again

[coconox]

my 2 cents on the state of whb

i've been contemplating about my thoughts on this game since i never really sat down and processed it, and a month of not playing the game and just keeping up with fandom content/official game news i think i can properly format my words (hopefully idk lol)

if you're looking for a specific section dw i'll properly format everything under the cut so you can just scroll till you find whatever you're looking for (also head's up it's insanely long i'm sorry but kinda not sorry i wanted to just put all my thoughts into one post rather than multiple)

SMALL INTRO

for some context on my experience, i have been playing this game everyday since launch/day 1, i was f2p up until i got juno's card, which i'll talk about later, but just know in advanced that juno was the only case where i've spent money. i uninstalled around the time the announcement was made in regards to no posting full stories of paid content, so almost month ago, and only reinstalled recently to grab certain items to add to the spreadsheet that i've been maintaining since november (aka a month after launch)

i've said it privately to a couple of close friends but i'll say it publicly here: imho, i think they released the game way too early even with the fact that they delayed launch 3 times.

i understand a handleful of bugs are from the fact that the public servers are significantly larger than test servers, but playing this game after the servers kinda stabilized feels like we are the test players, like we're constantly given rough drafts rather than the final copy.

the localization is rough to say the least, but i think i've been so used to it from other gachas that i've played that it didn't really ruin the experience for me,,, except when the text would switch to an entirely different language HJGFDHJGK

from visual bugs to gameplay bugs to voiceline bugs, there's been a lack of communication in terms of what has been fixed and what is still a wip. instead the players just have to "fuck around and find out" in terms of whether something has been fixed or not.

as i continue to state the issues with this game and its direction i'd like to put a disclaimer that i am by no means an expert in any of this stuff lol. i'm just a guy who nerds out over math, spreadsheets, and video games and everything i'll be saying is my personal opinion based on what i've seen/experienced.

THE ISSUE(S)

SOLOMON SEALS AND GACHA

i think the first mistake was them adding solomon seals in the first place. based on what packs in the past looked like, it looked like red keys were originally designed to be for debut characters, but instead they throw a curve ball and add ANOTHER gacha currency that was essentially p2w only up till some point early this year. this ultimately led to there being 2 standard banners, both of which essentially do the same thing except one doesn't have A/B/C-ranks. the fact that now even with realm of seraphim, in order for f2ps to have enough to guarantee with seals, they need to save for a year and a half. that is WAY too long for ONE character. this is of course worst case scenario of needing to hit pity, i'm aware you can get characters early but you should never always expect you'll get early in gacha games, i learned that the hard way during my idk how many years i've been playing gachas lol

i personally think that there's no winning across any of the gacha banners. there's no pity for either of the standards, and debut L/S-ranks have imo too high of a pity for what we're actually receiving per week. we essentially get more or less 1 pull per week in terms of red keys, yellow keys, and seals through dailies/weeklies alone, though of course that can vary cause of the rng key boxes, monthly login rewards, etc.

PANCAKES

there seems to be a general pattern that i've noticed of rather than confronting an issue directly they try to create something new in hoping that fixes the issue instead. an example of that would be the pancake shop.

the old pancake shop was fine as is, we could get a multi for relatively cheap price and get pie boxes everyday (albeit they're rng but pies are pies). what they could've done was add the L-ranks and skip tickets or whatever new thing they wanted to add into that old shop, adjusting the currency wherever necessary. yet instead they just remove the old system entirely and replace it for a new one that no one really asked for? while having the L-ranks in shop are nice, an entirely new system wasn't necessary to make that one relatively small addition. having A+-ranks and lower give gold and books was also not necessary, we have resource stages containing those 2 things and it's very accessible to everyone. what resources we are lacking in however are tears and pies, which are arguably more important than gold and books since those 2 currencies are the core to ascending/lvling characters and their skills.

PIES

i've emailed pb in the past in regards to if there will be other permanent methods for obtaining pies, and their response was holy coin portal and events. those two are NOT stable enough for pie income considering the prices of skills. if there's instances in unholy board where we need to level a character's skills, i'd expect there to be some sort of resource stage that would allow us to get pies so that we can easily obtain that skill level requirement.

"META" GAMEPLAY

i'll explain the quotes in a bit but i do want to put a disclaimer that whb was the first time i've experienced a full on tower defense style gameplay for gachas. i was already familiar with how it works kinda because of neural cloud even though the game as a whole is more like an auto-chess game of sorts, but some story gameplay had tower defense mechanisms and i learned a fair bit from playing that. personally i also haven't played arknights since i'm trying to cut down on the amount of gachas i play but i am aware of its playstyle through friends who like to attempt to drag me into playing it cause of certain characters that i might simp over (*cough flamebringer cough insider cough chongyue cough*)

disclaimer aside, trying to piece together what characters work and what don't genuinely hurts my brain. i put "meta" in quotes because realistically there's only 1: all L-rank light types, ideally at least 1 tank, maybe 1 healer (though a tank can act as both), rest be whatever dps you'd like really (preferably satan considering the fact he can be extremely reliable without his ultimate unlike a few characters). of course, everyone will have a different opinion on what they deem as meta, but that's the general idea i'd personally follow based on what kind of battles have been given to us, what characters are available, etc. the rest tbh are just "cope and seethe" for lack of a better term.

there's a huge type advantage with light and dark types, and i really wish they could buff the other elements more just show they have some spotlight too. i also wish there were more non-light L-ranks. as of making this post, out of the 23 L-rank characters there is currently only 1 non-light L-rank, and it's juno, an L-rank fire marksman.

the part that really "hurts" me the most (don't really know what other word to put here LOL) is the fact that this game is going in a very specific direction of just dps'ing through everything and hope you clear the stage before the enemies kill you.

this game has a huge and imbalanced ratio between dps characters and support characters regardless of element. the fact that we only have 5 healers (NOT including lucifer (victory) considering he's technically a marksman and the healing is from his artifact and not in his skills) and 8 tanks, whereas marksman and close-rangers have twice or thrice the amount is absurd. what pains me more is the fact that for tanks, if you don't have mammon, you're screwed. arguably the best non-mammon option players have that's accessible is bimet. valefor and eligos share the same kit with the fact that their downfall is the possibility that they could be instakilled the second they pop their ult. healers on the other hand are somewhat more lenient. if you don't have lucifer, marbas is your next best, then gamigin (marbas and gamigin can technically be placed interchangeably since their healing differs by 0.1%, it just depends on who you have), then morax, then maybe buer but he only heals 1 unit at a time rather than multiple but i digress. healers still have multiple and very reliable non-L-rank alternatives whilst tanks really only have 1. i really, really hope there's more support units in the future cause man this sucks.

NIGHTMARE PASS

spending $50-$70, on paper, is significantly better than spending ~$400 for a character, and that's really the only "good" thing about it 💀

$50-$70 may feel like nothing to some players, but to a majority, that is a portion of a cost towards food, groceries, rent, etc. basically, i'd assume a majority of people would prioritize surviving than watching pixels on a screen.

i understand at the end of the day pb is running a business, but for kings to be fully locked behind a paywall knowing for a fact that a majority of the player base are 1. casuals/f2ps and 2. are here for the kings is absurd. plus with the fact that typically nightmare pass characters aren't added to standard and aren't always 100% guaranteed to rerun in the future just puts the nail in the coffin for me.

i think it makes more sense for non-kings like juno to be in nightmare pass because it's just additional fun and silly content that arguably won't be tied to the main lore and whatnot, maybe referenced as a silly bit here or there but it'd be more of an easter egg than something important that you absolutely need to know.

personally i bought juno's pass because i love his design, kit, and voice. story was kinda meh for me personally but i really just cared more about the va and gameplay. gameplay-wise, he certainly does not disappoint as a gehenna support unit. but do i regret purchasing him? yes and no. oddly enough this was probably the first i've ever felt guilty in terms of buying something i wanted in a gacha game. yes i regret it in terms of i'm no longer really playing this game anymore, which is unfortunate considering i barely made it through half a year of this game's release. yet at the same time, no i don't regret it because he is a really fun unit. for example, when it's gabriel's rotation in realm of seraphim, juno's, leraye (nostalgia)'s, and leraye's ultimates absolutely DESTROY gabriel in a matter of like <10 or so seconds and it's so satisfying to see. i also just really like his va, scratches a very particular itch in my brain.

anyways before i get sidetracked over appreciating juno, the fundamental flaws of nightmare pass are essentially

you shouldn't need to buy both tiers to get the character. you should realistically need to buy the highest tier and by default it unlocks all previous tiers below it

ui is a bit confusing. i still don't get why f2ps have to unlock parts of nightmare pass that they can't even access/obtain. there should be a clear separation between what f2ps get, what advanced tier gets, and what premium tier gets.

it's too expensive. most bp's i know are ~$10 at the highest tier, though that's considering the fact that bp's i'm familiar with only give cosmetics rather than actual units

from what i've heard through the grapevine, beel (bath) is basically in the same formatting as all the other currently existing bath cards, which are all currently obtainable through gacha. beel has no reason to be in nightmare pass. it genuinely makes no sense as to why pb put him there aside from getting money and that in-turn alienates a majority of the fan base since we can't even view the prologue of card stories if they're a nightmare pass character.

when nightmare pass was first released during christmas, everything was in chaos. the fact that a nightmare pass character needed the other two limited gacha characters gameplay-wise is absurd (mind you, this was before we were given the chance to earn seals through weeklies). everything was too expensive, and rather than an enjoyable christmas event it felt like a "merry christmas, now give us money" kind of situation. i think nightmare pass should not be happening as frequent as it is now. the gap between gabriel and juno was perfectly fine (4 month gap btw), but for a nightmare pass to happen back to back on top of gacha events is too much for both f2ps and p2ws.

the point of buying packs, bp, anything that costs real money in a gacha game is so it makes your gameplay experience easier, paying shouldn't be the main component of your game. personally based on what i've experienced through playing gacha games you should theoretically be able to pull for almost every character on debut just by playing dailies/weeklies/events, yet here we get a bit over a multi per patch (this includes playing realm of seraphim).

DICTATING FANDOM INTERACTIONS

i wholeheartedly believe a fandom is what keeps a game alive. a hindrance to the fan base is a hindrance to the game, which can be seen with the aftermath of pb announcing that legal action will be taken if full stories of paid content are shared publicly. while i understand from a business standpoint that pb would want to enforce the "no sharing full story" thing for paid content since they want players to yk, buy the card, like i mentioned in the previous section, the majority of the player base just cannot afford it.

the people who posted full stories wanted to share to those who cannot afford it, some people may not want only tidbits of the story but rather the whole context, especially those who enjoy dissecting character lore but don't have the irl funds to fully experience it themselves. some people may even want to archive it, cause honestly no one knows how long this game will stay up and we want to archive story so that it's something we can easily look back on. to essentially make players borderline terrified on trying to figure out whether or not it's ok to publicly post stuff in relation to any sort of story content is absurd.

there is also that loophole of what is defined as a paid story. when events end and get put behind a paywall, does that now count as paid story or is that still ok? what about debut L-ranks that are behind seals and there's a 3 month downtime till they're added to standard? or is it just referring to nightmare pass characters? paid stories in the context of the state of the game right now is insanely broad, it's practically at least 50% of this game (i'm exaggerating (or maybe not i wouldn't be surprised if that was actually the case)).

i understand no datamining, while it technically speaking isn't illegal, it's disrespectful to the devs, but a lot of these call to action methods they're announcing are rather extreme imo.

with the most recent cards either being put to standard 3 months after their banner ends or flat out paywalled and not 100% guaranteed to have a rerun, story content as of late has been very sparse. what people want most is a main story update, which we were originally promised to be updated every 3 months and it is now month 6 and we still have nothing.

EVENTS AND EVENT STORIES

event stories being locked behind a paywall after the event ends is probably the first time i've ever seen a gacha game do this. most of the gachas i've played either don't archive event story at all and just rerun it every year, don't rerun or archive the event at all (i.e. if you miss it, cope and seethe), or they archive it for FREE. it feels insanely greedy how EVERY event story needs payment if you ever want to backread an old event.

what also concerns me is the fact like instances like gamigin's event or beleth's event carry so much lore for their respective region and that may never show up in main story, which then screws new players over in not knowing the full context behind every region. events like minhyeok's or bimet's are fine in the sense that it doesn't carry that much lore in comparison to the more recent events. the first few events were like silly banter and getting to know a bit more about the cast.

also changing the event shop from daily pies to a set limit per account was an awful choice it just emphasizes my point earlier of how unstable obtaining pies are in this game.

FULFILLING PROMISES

i think while it was a smart move to list what's gonna be implemented throughout the year, they shouldn't have stated deadlines on when they're doing so.

the following are the things that still aren't implemented yet as of making this post:

new daily chats (expected within february)

friends system (expected within march)

birthday system (more specifically celebrating your bday) (expected within april)

new main story chapter (new chapter expected every 3 months)

if pb were to just say "here's what to expect in 2024" and NOT give specific months, that's fine, but giving these specific months sets an expectation that they would complete it within that timeframe. main story for example is probably the one people have been anticipating the most. by now as of july, if we were to follow the expectation pb gave us, we would currently be on chapter 7, or at the very least chapter 7 would've been released some time this month. we have not even gotten chapter 6 yet. chapter 5 was released in january. it has been 6 months since the last main story update. failing to meet these timeframes will make people upset, because it was mentioned in the announcement that it's 1. a promise (i hope i'm not the only one that takes promises seriously) and 2. in bold yellow text, "what we can realistically expect to see in 2024." the only promises that were fulfilled on-time were the ones in january, the rest have been delayed by at least a month. if you're giving a timeline of what's happening, announce if there's any changes to that timeline, because not doing so will make players believe you were lying to them even though you probably aren't and are instead just falling behind schedule.

i think what hurts more to me is the fact that they aren't publicly communicating these delays. it shouldn't be our responsibility to find out why or when something isn't happening within the timeframe they promised (e.g. by emailing them), it should be up to the devs to communicate that publicly to us. i'm not saying they should overshare what's going on behind the scenes, it can simply just be a simple announcement of "hey, we're very sorry but we're having some technical difficulties with this certain feature and we need more time. here is some compensation in the meantime, thank you for your patience and again, we're very sorry." it's that simple.

FINAL THOUGHTS

i mentioned back in my intro that i feel like this game was released too early purely because the fundamentals of making a bare minimum decent gacha game are just not there. if every patch update has people complaining on what's just recently been added/removed, you're not fully listening to what the audience wants. while i understand pb is a small business, a business is still a business regardless of size and criticism/feedback is necessary especially in a game dev setting.

i've followed this game's news ever since it was teased, which was december of 2022, i've lurked/participated in the fandom (on here at least) ever since september of 2023. i've felt a rollercoaster of thoughts and emotions of "omg this is so great" to "why is this even a feature," hoping that over time the game would get better, but the only thing that's improved was server stability (and even that's still a bit rocky 💀).

a huge part of my stay was just being a lurker in the fandom. i genuinely appreciate all the creatives who fulfill asked prompts of characters, make ocs, fanart, write theories, reactions + many more. i love seeing other people's works/opinions and having just a lively fandom made it all more fun.

but at this point this game is just not for me. i've really only stuck around to read mammon's lore but since main story hasn't been updated in 6 months i'll really only chime back in when there's finally an update. it still amazes me to this day that my patience lasted this long. i think i've covered everything i wanted to cover but my memory is swiss cheese so if i forgot something,,, woops 💀

as for the future of the spreadsheet for those who check back on it, it's still being managed by myself and windy, who has been a huge help since day 1 of creating the build lists and team comps and i honestly can't thank her enough for also enduring this pain of a game with me as we've worked on this spreadsheet together hgjdfgh (luv u bestie 🫶). though it's written in the narrative that both of us will eventually quit updating it entirely if this game persists on not having any signs of improvement. when that day comes i'll make sure to post an announcement about it.

as for myself i'm probably still gonna lurk in the fandom/keep an eye out on game news. i doubt i'll be making any fanart anymore unless if i really have the motivation/boredom for it, but currently i'm revamping the "aesthetics" of this account so nothing's really set in stone. maybe i'll make a few whb rambles here or there if some game news really irks me but for the most part i've already been in the process of moving on to other things.

if you've stuck around this long to read this mess of a post, thank you for sticking around and have a cookie, you deserve it 🫴🍪

[missacidburn928s-heathenhideaway]

Bittersweet

Wordcount: 2,412

POC!Reader “Lux” x Walter Marshall

Summary:

Loving a man like Walter Marshall is not for the faint of heart. It's always one step forward and three steps back.I'd leave you, but the rollercoaster's all I've ever had.Yeah, it's one step forward and three steps back.Do you love me, want me, hate me?Boy, I don't understand.No, I don't understand.

Warnings:

18+ Only MDNI. Angst and Feels, Anger, Established Relationship, Complicated Relationships, Memories, Female Character of Color, Implied Sex

Notes:

This fic is heavy inspired by Olivia Rodrigo's "1 step forward, 3 steps back" Lux means light in Latin. Reader is written as someone in their 30s. You are welcome to age her up or down as you so choose. But as a proud woman in her late 30s I wanted this reader to reflect the experience and wisdom that comes with age. *There is no chronological order to the memories* might mess around and make a part two

Banner by @cafekitsune Divider by @firefly-graphics

Called you on the phone today. Just to ask you how you were. All I did was speak normally. Somehow, I still struck a nerve.

That was three days ago.

Three days since I was rushed off the phone with a “I don’t have time for this Lux.” Stated in a bitter, biting tone. Followed by the click of a disconnected call.

Three days since I allowed the venom soaked in those words to paralyze me. Keeping me locked within the walls of my apartment. Uncaring of venturing out into the world at large.

Three days of my hands coated in splatters of paint as I tried to control the chaos of my own mind.

Three days of drowning in my own traitorous thoughts. Flashbacks of important moments filtering through like unedited film. A replay of the emotional rollercoaster I’ve been through all because I love him.

Three days of radio silence while he throws himself deeper into yet another case.

As I feel the dried paint between my fingers begin to crack, I’m inundated with a broadcast of our amorous trials once more.

And maybe in some masochistic way. I kinda find it all exciting. Like, which lover will I get today?

It’s a quaint kind of night. The type where my hips sway to the music playing through the Bluetooth speakers. Quietly humming along to the melody as I manage the pans on the stove.

Walter has gone off to wash the precinct from his skin. Another case closed. Allowing for a small reprieve before he’s at it once again.

I could tell by the sound of his voice when he called this morning to ask me over, that I would be getting the teddy bear version of my man tonight. When he’s all soft and cuddly. Full of warmth and affection. Almost worshipful in the way that he handles me.

I cherish those moments more than most. Selfish in my need to hoard them all for myself. For a man like Walter, who has to constantly be ‘on’ and navigate the world with a hardened exterior. Allowing himself, even for a modicum of time, to feel safe enough to be soft in my presence, is a gift I am forever thankful for.

The gentle patter of bare feet against hardwood can be heard just before a pair of muscular arms wrap themselves around my waist. A smile lights up my face as plush lips connect to the sensitive skin of my neck.

“Mmm. Steak and eggs. Who cares if it’s 7 at night.”

“Well, you left before I could make you breakfast the last time I was over. So I’m making sure this time around your properly fed from the start.”

“I’m not complaining. Especially when you look so comfortable in my kitchen. Domesticity looks good on you, baby. Good to know there’s still softness under all those layers of strength.”

“Such a charmer. You’d be dampening my panties if I had any on.”

He growls in my ear. Hugging me tighter to his broad chest. “Don’t tempt me, darling. Wouldn’t want all this good food to go to waste.”

“Of course not, puppy. The only growls I want to hear are from your chest and not your stomach.” He nips my jaw. “Now go sit down and let me serve you dinner before you ruin your dessert.”

“And what if I want my dessert now?”

“No can do, puppy. But I can offer you an appetizer. Will that suffice?”

“I’m sure it will just make my hunger that much worse.”

“Most definitely.” I turn in his arms. Placing mine around his neck, as I pull him down and finally get the taste of his lips I’ve been craving.

He deepens the kiss. Taking the time to savor me like a fine wine.

“Yeah. I’m going to have to get myself a second helping of that. The flavor is exquisite.”

It's back and forth, did I do something wrong? It's back and forth, maybe this is all your fault.

Tonight the girls and I are at a club as dictated by Jules. Her recent break up affording her the power of deciding what we get up to. I truly have no problem with it. If she wants to dry up her tears with liquor and lose herself in the body of another, who am I to judge.

We’ve finally made it up to the bar to order our first round of drinks when I notice a familiar head of hair bobbing above the crowd.

Before I really have time to process why my boyfriend might be here tonight, he’s standing in front of me.

“Hey.” I cheerily greet him.

“Hi.” He takes hold of my arm. “Come on lets go.” He begins to pull me away from the bar.

I pull out of his grasp. “Why would I leave? I just got here?”

He leans down, whispering in my ear. “Because we’re here following a perp and you match the profile of his preferred victims.”

“Okay. So I’ll be extra careful. I’m not here alone Walter.”

“Lux, I don’t want to argue this right now. I’m technically at work.”

“Then work.”

He quirks his brow and tightens his jaw. The next thing I know he’s throwing me over his shoulder in a fireman’s carry and heading for the back.

“Damnit Walt! Put me the fuck down right now!”

When we clear the backdoor and are in the seclusion of the back alley he finally sets me down.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” I grit out.

He just cups my cheeks and kisses me like the world around us doesn’t exist. The look in his eyes when we break apart is one I have never seen before.

“You and Faye are the brightness in my life surrounded by darkness. Sometimes it’s the only thing that keeps me going when things take a turn. I can’t keep stealing your light, baby. One of these days I’m afraid I might just snuff it out.”

“You don’t get to make that decision for me Walter.” I push against his barrel chest. “I do! I get to determine if the risk outweighs the joy. Not you!”

“I don’t want any of it to touch you!”

“That’s not how this works!” I shake my head. “But I’ll give you this. I’ll allow you some space to work through this fear. When you’re sick of sticking to the shadows, you know where to find the light.”

“You’re leaving?”

“That’s what you wanted right?”

“Lux.”

“Don’t.” I exhale. “I’m too embarrassed to show my face back in there. I just want to go home. We can deal with this fear of yours later. You have work to do. Goodnight Walter.”

I kiss him on the cheek and make my way out of the alley into the parking lot. The weight of his protective gaze holds steady until I am safely in my car.

I'm the love of your life until I make you mad.

The incessant ringing of my phone has roused me from my nest of blankets on the couch. Causing me to pause my 90s slasher marathon.

“Hello.”

“Lux. Can you come get me?” A clearly inebriated Faye cries into the phone.

“Of course honey. Where are you?”

“A party at some guys house. My friends dragged me here and then just left without me.” She starts sobbing. “Lux, I’m scared. I don’t know anyone here and I can’t call my dad. I’ve been drinking and he’ll kill me.”

“Shh, shh. It’s ok. I’ll come get you and bring you home. Does you mother know where you are?”

“No.” She whines. “I was sleeping over at my friends house. That’s where she thinks I still am.”

“Ok. Send me a ping so I have your location. I’m coming to get you but I have to call your mother on the way, so she knows what’s going on. I don’t want her to worry. But I promise, I will be the one picking you up okay?”

“O-okay.” She whispers. “Please hurry.”

“Find someplace safe to wait for me.”

I can hear the soft thud of the front door closing through the floorboards of Faye’s bathroom. Soon followed by Walter calling my name.

“Up here!” I yell out.

“Ouch.” Faye slurs. “Too loud. Makes my head throb and my stoma..”

She never finishes that sentence as she leans back over the porcelain and purges herself of her liquid sins once more. Her hair gently held back by my hands.

“Faye?” Walt questions as he stands in the doorframe. “What happened? Why are you here? Are you sick?”

I rub her back and get up from the floor. Grabbing Walter’s hand, I lead him out into the hallway. “She went to a party with her friends, and they left without her. She had a bit too much to drink, so she called me to pick her up.” I inform him.

In a flash his face goes from concerned to pissed off. “You’re not her mother, Lux. You had no right to do that. You should have called me, and I would have handled it.”

“You know what? Fuck you, Walter. She was scared and just wanted a chance to sober up before she had to deal with your wrath. I don’t give a fuck if she’s biologically mine or not. She’s a part of you and I will protect her at all costs. Even from you. So go ahead and be mad. Hate me. I don’t care. She needed me and there was no way I was going to fail her. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go make sure your daughter is okay and get her tucked into bed where I will also be spending the night watching over her. Maybe in the morning you’ll come to your senses.”

I turn to walk back into the bathroom. “Oh, and I called Angie on the way. Didn’t want her wondering where Faye was if she found out she wasn’t still at her friends for the night. She was thankful I was picking her up and bringing her here.”

I step into the bathroom and close the door behind me. Quickly turning on the shower to begin warming up. “Let’s get you cleaned up honey. Then you can knock out in your cozy bed. How’s that sound?”

“Heavenly.” She slurs.

Allowing Faye some privacy, I go to grab clothes from her room to sleep in. The ruckus of cabinets and drawers being slammed in the kitchen can be heard all the way down the hall. I choose to ignore the raging bull causing a ruckus to make good on my promise to Faye.

Walter is just going to have to deal with it.

Do you love me, want me, hate me? Boy, I don't understand.

The smile that graced my face this morning when I received the text from Walt letting me know he closed the case and to come over for our usual post case dinner and decompression; was megawatt status. This case really took over his life. Even more so than usual. I barely heard a word from him for two weeks.

Receiving that text, knowing he was okay and that I would be seeing him, was a breath of fresh air.

I arrived to his house and let myself in.

It was eerily silent. I thought that maybe I beat Walt home. That is until I stumbled upon his sulking frame on the kitchen floor, slumped against the cabinets. A highball of whiskey clutched tight in his fingers.

“Walt, is everything okay?” I lower myself to the ground to get closer to him. Uncaring of the dress that took me hours to decide on.

“She didn’t survive.” He mumbles out.

“Who?”

“The wife.” He deadpans. “It was a home invasion. They did horrible things to this woman in front of her husband who fought back with everything he had. They both ended up in the hospital. Beds next to each other. Something went wrong. A bleed they didn’t catch, and she lost her life. He had to watch her die and could do nothing about it.”

“Oh, puppy. I’m so sorry. That poor man. Did you get the assholes responsible?”

“Yeah. Young idiots trying to make a name for themselves.”

“Good. Now justice can be served. So what has you so upset?”

He takes a sip of his whiskey. “The husband looked so hollow when I came to tell him we caught the ones responsible for his wife’s death. I’ve seen some horrible things but nothing that will haunt me as much as that look on his face did. It reminded me of what I have to lose. I don’t know why you even put up with me and all the shit I put you through, but I can’t lose you baby. I can’t.” He confesses with tears in his eyes.

On instinct I climb into his lap and begin kissing them away until I land on his downturned lips. Where I place the softest of kisses. Barely a graze.

He sets his whiskey down and places his hand loosely around my throat as he pulls me in for a deeper one.

It quickly turns desperate. His jeans are quickly unzipped, and my underwear are pushed to the side. Simultaneous groans ricochet off the walls as our pelvis’ connect and we being to grind in tortuous pleasure. Succumbing to the need to reenforce our bond to each other.

It’s both loving and painful. Raw and unfiltered. An emotional mess of our demons dancing together before we chase them away to their dark depths once more.

“I love you.” I pant out. “Demons and all.”

It's always one step forward and three steps back. I'd leave you, but the rollercoaster's all I've ever had.

Three days I’ve been stuck in this cycle of despair. Lost to my thoughts. Holding on to memories of him like I may never get the chance to make new ones.

As I finally find the courage to drag myself off the paint-stained drop cloth. Aiming for a hot bath to sooth my aching soul. A frantic set of knocks rattles down the hall from my front door.

I stand stock still in the entry way as a voice filters in.

“Lux! Open the door!” The knocking continues. Followed by a palm hitting the wood and sliding down. “Please.”

[leoremin]

I just finished watching the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen...and I have...thoughts (along with some bad grammar)

This is an overall negative post, so if you don't like that keep scrolling. If you like this movie, go ahead and scroll on past if you don't want to read this. If you want to debate me, then hell, go ahead, I might be wrong in some areas and I'm fully willing to admit that. I'd love to see anyone's take on this movie.

To say real quick, I haven't finished reading Dracula (over 1/2 through tho), Sherlock Holmes, 4 billion leagues under the sea, and a few others.

Also...spoilers...obv

(last note: I am not against retellings or that stuff, I'm just rating it on MY OPINION of these little guys and all that stuff. This is depending on how much I like them from just a writers sense.)

Tbh I really love the idea of crossovers, I love so much seeing the babies all together (I am working on a crossover myself so...) but I feel like this one was just...mediocre

First up Jekyll!

Number one, assuming this takes place after the novella, that is not how HJ7 works. Jekyll turning back into Hyde is not right then. At that point, Henry would be living on a timer rather than Hyde.

Also, little pet peeve...THE POTION SHOULD BE GREEN!!!! THE POTION'S FINAL COLOUR IS GREEN AND THEY MADE IT CLEAR!!!

Also Jekyll is a doctor, he acts like the fucking wimpy Swiss man from Frankenstein. Jekyll is meant to be a (mentally) strong man who experimented on himself and kept good notes during the whole thing. He is a doctor; he is used to seeing some shit.

Also...why would you make Hyde look like that? One of the few clear physical descriptions in the book is that Hyde is much shorter than Jekyll, but he's...hulkish. I don't like that because it takes the monstrosity away, pinning it all on looks and not on action.

Also why Paris? Why did Hyde run to Paris? There wasn't really a reason for him to do that in a writing sense.

Upside: At least he continues to run on rooftops. All Hydes run on rooftops; it is not optional.

Next on the Chopping block is Dorian.

For a moment there, I really thought they ruined Dorian, but hell yeah! They kinda did it!

I wish they'd had another actor to play him, since the dark hair makes him look a little malicious, which is quite the opposite of what he's supposed to look like. He's supposed to be a child-like and innocent; deceiving.

Also...what the fuck was his ending?? Like he doesn't perish if he looks at the portrait. It literally says earlier that "the last time [he] looked at the picture" which literally contradicts what happens later. He can look at the picture, but chooses not to.

I am glad they decided to not have him redeem himself. That fits a little closer to the book.

For Mina!

Quick thing: I have not yet finished reading Dracula, so I have no clue what's happening there or why she's the vampire (please don't spoil it) so I won't say anything on that (cough cough...should've been Carmilla)

I don't like making women the sole love interest. It feels weird. Literally three people liked her (well only 2, Dorian was pretending) out of five. Make it interesting, make it something someone would ship...there is literally no chemistry between any of them (except Dorian, and we don't even get a proper "oh yeah I hooked up with him" moment. It's only implied. When did that happen???). Also, Mina isn't that kind of person. She's (in book) not looking for romance in that sense, she had a husband, and I'm pretty sure she'd probably stay faithful to him even after death.

Speaking of Chemistry, why tf is she a chemist? Jekyll should've been the chemist. Mina is literally known for being able to write in shorthand, and they could've used that to her advantage. Again, please excuse this if somehow Mina does become a scientist after Dracula, but considering people's views on women in that time period, it's unlikely.

Skinner:

I think that's his name...idk. I have not read the Invisible Man, but why would they kill off Griffin? Like Jekyll dies, but he doesn't have a replacement. I can't say much since I haven't read the book.

I think that's all.

Thank you coming to my Little Leo lecture, and I hope anyone reading agrees, or can hopefully handle this as a mature adult. If you have other thoughts on this movie (whether they agree with mine or not) go ahead and share them, I'd be thrilled.

I may update this as I have things to say, but idk.

[i-eat-worlds]

The Subject: Part Ten

So here it is finally the last bit of “season one” of the subject. I hope you enjoy!

CW: problems with food (fear of it being taken away), hospital setting, pretty much kinda fluffy

“Good morning, Beau.” Beau looked up from his breakfast to see Dr. Brenner standing in the doorway, smiling. Unconsciously, Beau wrapped his ngers around the far edge of his tray, looking down at the sweet-smelling oatmeal and glass of milk on his tray as the doctor walked in and sat down at the side of the bed. “I have good news.”

Beau continued to hug his tray. “Yes, d…doctor.” He hoped Dr. Brenner wouldn’t notice, but he didn’t want the doctor to take away the food. He’d never been fed like this before, and Beau knew it wouldn’t last forever. “I’m not going to take it away.”

Beau’s head snapped up. “Huh?” Dr. Brenner had noticed. What was he going to do?

“I’m not going to take your food away, Beau.” Dr. Brenner assured him. “You can eat whenever you want. You deserve food.”

“O…oh.” Beau nodded slowly. “I…I like the food.”

“That’s good, Beau.” The doctor nodded. “So, do you remember the scans that you and Liam went and did yesterday?” “Y…yes, doctor.” Beau tensed up. Dr. Brenner had said that he wasn’t going to hurt him, but maybe experiments didn’t count as hurt.

“I got to look at them, and the physical damage seems to have mostly healed. That’s good.” Dr. Brenner watched Beau’s face light up. He hoped that it was at the news, but he knew it was because of the word good. “And since you don’t need to be monitored all the time, we’re moving you into a dierent room.”

Beau deflated at the news. If he was better, they must be moving him back to a cage. He knew that the bed wouldn’t last forever, but he hated the thought of having to go back to sleeping stued into a tiny cage, aching and sore from the position. But then he remembered that Dr. Brenner wanted him to talk about what he didn’t like. This must be a test.“C…cage, Doctor?” He pulled his legs in close. “It d…doesn’t want t…to g…go to a c..cage, d..doctor. P…please, doctor.” “No Beau, you aren’t going to a cage. Thank you for telling me what you want, though, that’s good.” Dr. Brenner patiently corrected. “You’ll have a room, like this one. But some things will be different.”

Beau nodded, glad he wasn’t going to be confined in a cage. “They’ll be other subjects, like you, with you. You can get to know them if you want. There’ll be games you can play, and you’ll do things together.” “O…okay.” Beau decided that didn’t sound so bad, even with the experiments. “Th…thank you.” “You’re welcome.” Dr. Brenner said kindly. He stood up. “Liam will be in to help move you after you eat.” With that, he left the room

Beau returned to his meal after the doctor had left. The brick that now rested in his stomach ruined the rest of his appetite, but he made himself choke down the rest of his food. It was good food, Beau reminded himself, and if he was unthankful and didn’t eat all of it he might not get any more for a while. They didn't have to feed him this much, and he would be wise to not waste it.

Liam didn’t enter the room until after Beau had finished eating and put the tray to the side. He brought in a wheelchair, pleasantly smiling as he helped Beau sit down. Beau let the nurse move him, careful not to do anything that would be perceived as resistance. Once he had sat in the chair, Liam wheeled him out of the room and down the hallway. Eventually, they turned left and passed through a large set of double doors. Everything looked completely different. Beau was still in the maze of hallways, but instead of tile, the oors were a warm wood. The walls were painted a cheery shade of blue, and a metal railing ran down the middle. At the end of the hallway, there was a large window, which light flooded in from. The nurse streeted Beau through another set of doors. “We’re here, Beau.” He said cheerfully.

Beau swallowed nervously. The room didn’t look like a laboratory at all. There were no metal tables, clean white walls, or scientic equipment. It was the polar opposite. The walls were painted a comforting shade of green, and bright cheery paintings hung proudly. A soft fuzzy carpet was pushed o into a corner, bean bag chairs placed on top of it. There were two tables placed in the room, one lower to the ground and one with chairs. Both tables had rounded corners and edges, as did the chairs. Several hallways broke o from the main room, but Beau couldn’t see down those to see what they were. Maybe that’s where the lab actually was. Liam turned the wheelchair into one of the hallways. The same railing lined the walls as Beau was pushed by several other rooms. One had a couch and TV in it, there were several bedrooms, and another room with lots of bookshelves. The nurse pushed Beau into one of the bedrooms. On the front of it was a sign that read “Beau.” The bedroom was dierent from the one that Dr. Brenner had rst shown him. This one had a bed that was pushed against the wall, a desk with no corners or edges, some bookshelves, and a window with a cordless blind pulled over it. The lights were dimmed, and the room was warm.

“Welcome to your new bedroom, Beau.”

Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed. If you have any ideas for what happens next, or flash backs you’d like to see, tell me.

Taglist: @stabby-nunchucks @rainbows-and-whumperflies @wolfeyedwitch @pigeonwhumps

[thecloudstan]

Yeah, I thought the entire time that it was AC Sephiroth in remake but that he was just using clones the entire time and not showing up physically until he literally rips through time itself. By the way, what did you think of the ending as a whole? And how they handled Aerith’s death? In my opinion there wasn’t any emotional impact for her death because the second she dies you just go into boss battle after boss battle and the time shenanigans happen, and you have no time to breathe and absorb it. The ending itself I found confusing, but I can’t say I completely hated it. I think all the time stuff is interesting and it makes me more invested in the third part because- presumably- that’s when all the questions get answered. Maybe that’s just because I never played the original though and wasn’t even a fan of FF7 until remake came out.

This is a very intriguing question, and as someone who has been playing this game since its 1997 release, I can only answer based on my experience. None of this is meant to sound unapproachable or anything...I just have an embarrassing amount of knowledge and attachment to this game and its characters...so...

I found how they handled Aerith's death to still be deeply stressful, emotional, and impactful. By that point, my husband and I had nearly convinced ourselves that they wouldn't go through with it. We expected her rescue, some sort of immediate fallout that would tie Zack in, and that the third game would be a sort of "World of Ruin" wherein the events have to be fixed and set right in order to stop Sephiroth. While Cloud DOES act, it doesn't result in her rescue in the way we anticipated. I'm actually really happy about this! Theorizing is fun, but I don't WANT to be right about everything. I'd like to be surprised.

In the original, Aerith dies, there's a VERY brief conversation between Sephiroth and Cloud, and you're immediately launched into a fight with Jenova. PROBABLY still crying your eyes out, because Aerith's theme is playing all the while, and just the juxtaposition of those two things was incredible. The party had just lost her and they're fighting for their lives. You, the player, have just lost her and now you're fighting, too. You don't have a choice. You don't get to rest. There is no respite.

Every step through the Forgotten City in Rebirth was nail biting, and her loss was still a tear jerker for me because the devs had thrown me enough off kilter that I kinda had no idea what to expect and had come to doubt my own predictions. Furthermore, it really did pull up a lot of latent emotion tied to this loss. It will always be deeply emotional for me with this game. In ways, I'm not even a good person to ask because I've been so intensely in love with them all for the past...27 years? I imagine the anticipation alone is giving old fans something to chew on that perhaps newer fans just can't relate to. I don't want to paint with too wide a brush. Everyone is different and I just have no other perspective than my own (admittedly very specific) experience.

I have no notes on the ending. I guess I'm actually really happy with it because a lot happened that I didn't expect and couldn't have predicted. I didn't approach it as something that needed to impress or regale me, rather I was curious what they would do and how I could immediately leap to interpret it. It was the same with the Remake ending. Everyone hated it and didn't understand it, but when the dust settled it became something to pick apart and theorize on. They gained my trust with Remake, so Rebirth to me is just a "sit back and enjoy" sort of experience. I also know what's happening because of my knowledge of the original. I know what's happening to Cloud, I understand Reunion, I know how some of these things come to their resolution in the third game (which is basically only the half way point of the original game). Of course, I'm sure they'll change it up because they've VERY MUCH been telling the same story by slightly different mechanisms, but I see the setups already in place in Rebirth.

[phantom-witch]

Phantom's Finished: Super Mario Odyssey (Replay)

On one random evening, I was chilling in call with @dayofpi as we gushed about Mario. Eventually it lead to me grabbing my Artbook of the game this post is about and adoring all the ideas and missed potential of the game, to the point for a few months I genuinely wondered if I might rank the game lower than I used to.

This thought lingered within me until I decided to finally start an important replaythrough of the game, and here's what I think...

Upon booting it up, I already felt an endearing familiarity to what a 14 year old Phantom felt in 2017. I wanted to enjoy this game mostly for what it is and not what it wasn't. Super Mario Odyssey is still one of the best 3D platformers of all time that is like a playbox of fun left right and centre.

Sonic: Frontiers is often compared to Breath of the Wild when I couldn't agree less. With the mini platforming and challenges, I would absolutely compare it more to Odyssey in that regard. Before I state what I say, let it be known that I really enjoy Frontiers okay? Okay!

Sonic Frontiers wishes it was Odyssey when it comes to it bitesize challenges, as they almost always serve for strong level design in enclosed or open areas that consistently interconnects. Sonic Frontiers has a lot of mindless points to its bitesize elements of "press/hold button". That's what Odyssey gets right, the constant thrill of platforming within the sandbox level design and the freedom of how different of an order everyone's experience can be. You can play the main story moons, or during that grab side moons, challenges and items.

Gameplay:

If there is one thing that always pulls me back into this game, it's gameplay. Odyssey is the perfect example for everything working around its base gameplay as a perfect core, that being the hat throw. the hat throw is integral to why moving as Mario in this game is so responsive and fun to master. Dive into the hat for horizontal air movement, use it to collect coins as you continue on your path, capture a vast selections of enemies and objects for a quick yet responsive gameplay change.

Speaking of, I love how the captures have a snappy switch up of gameplay whilst always limiting controls to two buttons for easy pickup for how many different things Mario can utilise. Everything is super responsive and it feels beautiful to experience the loop of this game. Every playthrough feels different due to how you can go for different moons each time, experiment with where I go and even get places I didn't know I could ahead of time! Its my favourite controls platformer in 3D (celeste being my fav 2D platformer controls)

However, I do feel the game sometimes lacks a bit in level design. A lot of the time it's really good! Sub-Sections are very good whereas I feel the Sandbox areas of the Kingdoms are inconsistent. My biggest issue is they often lack a level of cohesion with the rest of the world (New Donk especially is guilty of this) and I wish they covered a wider area a lot of the time as with Mario's moveset it is so quick to get through. I feel the best Kingdoms are ones like the Wooded Kingdom where there's multiple paths, elevation and it stretches a wide variety. New Donk for example does have that elevation but it's so simple to get up there it just kinda exists? I wish there was more interesting areas within New Donk to play around as it isn't as fun on replay.

Then there's the few Kingdoms that SCREAM missed potential with the Cloud Kingdom and the Ruined Kingdom. These two are literally just for a single boss and nothing else in the overworld, which is super disappointing with two really cool aesthetics, especially with Ruined Kingdom's unique artstyle.

Artstyle:

This is one of the trickiest part of the game to talk about. Because I both love it and have qualms with it for a lot of reasons...

Firstly though, this game has an insane variety of styles, setpieces and colours! From Bonnetons Nightmare Before Christmas inspiration to Bowsers Kingdom of Japanese traditional samurai aesthetic, the game constantly throws different visuals upon entering any new world. Odyssey thrives on this idea of different cultures and parts of the world for contrasting artstyles and it really works!

However... I feel this also is where my biggest criticism for the game lies. It's that these artstyles don't push themselves far enough when they could contrast even more! Bonneton for example, it has a fun Halloween vibe but why couldn't they have pushed that with the shapes of the environment being crooked and twisted and maybe have the shadows be sharper and stylised? That's what I mean, the styles still all fit into a mold they don't break out of that I wish the game did a lot more

And here comes the big one: New Donk City!This is where the game really conflicts me with its artstyle, as it tries to contrast in such a way that feels unnatural and uncanny. The realistic humans are extremely unnecessary and the artbook shows many better solutions they had in mind. The colours of this world are also lacking quite strongly which again the art book showed a bright bold bustling city with a lot of nods to the series. It feels they wanted this to be the contextualised version of Mario's origin home which makes sense when you consider all the donkey kong references and the fact Pauline is there!! This is considered the iconic local in the game when for me it feels like the one that could've been filled with beautiful fanservice and nostalgic feel. I don't like using the artbook as criticism but for New Donk City I feel it's kinda necessary due to how they clearly had a vision that wasn't able to happen and its one of this games biggest letdowns.

Other:

There's a lot I wish to get into that aren't as extensive due to how much I have to say, so it all goes into this last section!

Starting off with music, which is weird to me. There's a lot of really good music in this game! From Cascade Kingdom to the transition into the tech part of the Wooded Kingdom. However there's a lot of music that is just, average? A lot of music that isn't bad but nothing memorable, which isn't something I can say about most Mario Games' OST. There's also a lot of 8-Bit versions of music in this game which I really enjoy! But I do understand opinions that they should've used a better NES sound chip for it as it doesn't feel as perfect as it could be.

Next up is story and animation! Easily my favourite animation in a mario game with so much squash and stretch the recently released Mario Wonder seems to emphasise even more! I love Bowser and Mario's animation, and enemy animations are amazing too. However I feel characters like Peach could've had more stylised animation. The story itself is good! It's practically the perfect conclusion to the Peach being Kidnapped Saga, a full on wedding where Bowser takes it way too far. Obviously I don't like damsel Peach as she's a lot better when she's a participating role. However, in the context of her being a damsel this is her best one as she is actively seen throughout the game whilst standing her ground at the very end. I love how she doesn't reciprocate Bowser or Mario's feelings whilst Mario and Bowser have an amazing dynamic this game.

My favourite element of this games story is how it feels like an amazing conclusion to the traditional Mario story, whilst now we're getting new stories with Wonder, Origami King and even Peach getting her own tale. Mario stories don't need to be huge but it's important it still fits the themes and adds fun characterisation to them, alongside giving all of them amazing designs... speaking of

COSTUMES! Mario gets loads of cosmetics in this game through coins, giving them a purpose whilst having a very fun way to have different looks and fanservice. You can have a top hat fancy look fitting Cap Kingdom or a Samurai costume to befit the Bowser Kingdom. Then there's cool costumes that are just their own idea like skeleton, zombie or even underwear Mario! They range from cool, cute to gender and funny with so much to work with. I love this element of odyssey a lot, its one of my favourite things to do especially after I've beaten the game to run about it fun combinations (I love the Sunshine outfit)

Lastly is the postgame! A really fun fanservice Kingdom with the Mushroom Kingdom, and whilst I still criticise the level design cohesion like before, I still think this is an amazing world with a lot of fun to be had, alongside a really fun final level that brought me to tears with Cappys final like

"Thank you, Mario. For letting me walk a mile on your head."

.

This game is beautiful, I have my qualms but its still my favourite 3D Platformer of all time 💙

[h4mmiee]

Hi! as a D&D player myself, I would LOVE to know whos in the campaign and what they play as and how its going! all the cool little details, no pressure tho!

(like, class and race and stuff)

hello !! thank you so much for your interest !! here’s what’s up with the campaign -- as a note, since this AU takes place in japan in the 1980s, they’re using the the first edition (the basic version, not the advanced), so classes and races were a lot more limited back then.

the campaign is pretty loose -- this is hinata’s first campaign, so he’s not really sure what he’s doing. komori’s played a couple of one-shots -- suna’s the only one with experience, but it’s his first time doing a full length campaign, so expect him to be a bit of a dickhead for a bit while he figures out balance ^^ 

hinata - elf thief (he just thought thieves sounded cool -- i wouldn’t say he knows what he’s doing). he spends most of his time coming up with the most roundabout solutions to problems -- definitely keeps suna on his toes. 

komori - halfling paladin (which at this time was a subclass for fighters). he’s mostly here to play a support role since he’s aware hinata will be a bit of a wildcard. he has about five pages of backstory he wrote for his character that will probably never come up at any point.  

sakusa was semi-unwillingly dragged into the campaign, as everyone felt it would be more fun with a third semi-consistent person. sakusa kinda doesn’t want to be here, but it’s too much of a bother to fend komori off every time, so here he is. 

sakusa plays a human monk ! he may not be the most enthusiastic participant at first, but he’s slowly getting into it -- and he sometimes asks to look through suna’s handbook to do some research on builds in between sessions. 

aran also drops in once in a while ! he’s never played before, but his little brother seems to have an interest, so he’s trying to learn so he can run some campaigns some day. 

aran plays a human fighter ! hinata thinks he is very, very cool. 

(non-human races in 1e are kinda confusing with level caps and class restrictions, so sakusa and aran both chose humans since it’s the simplest way to play for now. hinata has no clue what he’s doing either, but being an elf just sounded really fun.) 

overall, it’s very “first campaign” vibes -- suna spends hours building elaborate setups only for hinata to light things on fire and ruin most of it, sakusa starts debating on how certain things work, etc. it’s a bit of a disorganized mess, but i think they all have a lot of fun ^^ 

(technically, hinata has died twice already, but suna lied and said he’s fine because it’d be a hassle otherwise.)

and that’s all for now ! some more folks might drop in to observe or play themselves, but those are the main folks in the campaign for now ! there may be more in the future... 

[orphicpoieses]

A ramble of thoughts

(TW: own thoughts, nostalgia and irrelevant wishing upon a star)

I am currently going through my old photos on my phone and I found many old memories I made a few years ago.

Most of them are screenshots of old chats.

I used to play literate Roleplay back then and now, while reading the old messages, I am kinda nostalgic.

Even now, I would love to create new worlds, push them out there, create with others and see their reactions in a side-chat.

As an author who is near the end of at least one book, the world building and creating of epic stories is part of my daily life.

But I miss the reaction every now and then. The little gasps (even though I always believed the twists were kinda obvious), the comments about the story (someone once said to me: "You take the most boring setting of a game and twist it into a masterpiece", which was good for my ego xD) and the challenge not knowing if what I wanted to do was going to happen.

Most of my stories emerged from such games. Either, the story was written through the game and now I just try and capture the feeling again or I discovered the story through the game and when I knew what I wanted to write, I stoped and continued on my own.

I don't miss the game, but I miss the interaction with others. That sparkle of validation that what I do is good.

Sometimes, that sparkle happens on Tumblr, but especially since I don't post snippets anymore, it just disappeared nearly completely. And even though I don't want to ruin the possibility to publish with an agent and a manager, I catch myself thinking about sharing more about my stuff again. Not, because I like it, but because I want the feedback again.

Don't get me wrong, I love my story and if someone would ask for my honest opinion, I would answer that it is the most interesting story I have read in a long long time (other people may have other opinions), but not knowing people who I can share this exciting experience with, because the only person in my life who has the same interests as me is my mom, can be really exhausting sometimes.

Back in the days where I was an active gamer and writer, creating new stuff every five minutes, writing every day for several hours (yes, this was my writing practice), I was a host to a fairly large community of people with the same interests. We were about 200 people from Germany, Switzerland and Austria, who enjoyed writing stories where everyone could be the main character from their own perspective.

Sadly, the age gap between me and the new members of this community grew larger with every week and while I was in my twenties (around the age of 21), most of the members were around the age of twelve which made thing complicated. Most of the time, I dropped my status as leader and host and moved on to find more people my age. Never with success.

After I quit completely, because I wanted to focus more on my books rather than calm down angry teens who cannot read community rules, I came to Tumblr. Still wanting to create but without the pressure of pleasing twelve year old who want to rule the world.

But it is not the same. Obviously.

Tumblr is not a community where people host groups of users. Everyone is on their own, creating content into the void, hoping someone would read it and think "That's worthy a reblog".

And that's what makes Tumblr difficult for me sometimes. The void. The community without the community-features of talking to each other, chatting, just creating together, rather than against.

I do miss the times where I was the host of a 200 member community who created stories together and talked about their everyday lives. Where the staff included seven people, where we had a newspaper about roleplay and monthly challenges.

I miss my German community.

[dilutingaddiction]

Things I Never Got To Tell You

Hi ***,

this is kinda funny because I didn't even realize it was your birthday today! makes it weird that i'd even write this today.

This was very difficult to write. I've been trying to forget about you but somehow you end up at the deepest depths of my mind. I feel like I've been transported back to high school, with an unrequited creepy crush on the graduating class' golden boy -- but with you, it's different.

I've gotten supremely obsessive over you in that summer I first met you. Horrible traits like checking your snap maps constantly, seeing if you've replied back to me, checking if your Tinder account was still there. I didn't like that I've become that person and my default response right now is to deflect it; that it was all "you", that you turned me into a person like that.

I'm deep in the process of getting over you now. I look back at our conversations with such extreme fondness... and heartache. I was so blinded by my infatuation of you that I missed all the signs that my feelings were one-sided and unrequited.

Yet, I still don't know what drew me to you. You were nice, civil, down-to-earth, and you seemed transparent enough to me. Not like your roommate, who's pretty freaky and probably needs to see a therapist.

You said things that were so... abnormal. Everything you did was literally meant to get me attached to you. You taught me how to skip rocks, you told me about your insecurities, you played with my hair, you listened to my rants, you made my heart warm at the sight of your smile. You'd talk to me about the most random things, tell me about what White Chicks remind you of, you told me about your future plans, your problems with your identity, how boring work was, you held my hands -- you even made me play with your callouses, you told me about your scars, your fears, everything.

We were such good friends. I hate that I ruined that for us. I hate that I can't see you with those lens.

That one park with the lake -- a place I'll never forget. I explored so much of you (and myself!) in the fog and that other night that was so bright as it was lit by the moonlight. So many bittersweet memories I hope to never forget. All the good times with you, I'd take it to my grave.

God, you were that one person that drove my emotions and senses into such extreme overdrive that I've had moments in my head which just feel like hazy memories. Every time you spoke of the other, my brain would turn off as I attempt to keep composure and absorb what you were saying.

But what I can't help but feel is that you've just seen me as a whore. I know your affinity for seeking sex through monetary means and that practice is not unheard of in your circle of friends or community. I don't mind being perceived as a whore necessarily, but it's the feeling that we had shared such intimate moments together where I venerated those shared experiences while you were just getting your rocks off. That thought hurts me a lot, but I would not be surprised if it is true.

I've always meant to ask why you kept coming back to me. There seems to be no other answer in my head! You kept coming back because I did it better. What makes this situation so much fucking worse is that you are chasing her like I am chasing you -- she seems like she is not interested enough to make you official (because if she liked you enough she would've come up with a way!) and only likes you because you're a good lay.

I say that because that is precisely how you see me -- and how one-sided this is just hurts me so much. I considered sleeping with your roommate again just to have the feeling of backstabbing you, but it's not even backstabbing if you never felt that way around me.

But unlike her -- I would have found a way. Distance is nothing to me. I would've stayed loyal to you (I know, I've led you astray and said that "relationships aren't for me" and make it sound like I have commitment issues) and I would always come back and make time for you. I made time for you those three weeks in that winter... and I wish there was more time. I wish it wasn't just purely sexual. I have respected your closet status and we can do all those cutesy lovey dovey stuff without anyone knowing. I'd do that because I like you.

I know I said I'd see you again soon and that I'll let you know when I'm back but honestly, I felt like I just got dumped that night I saw you. I shed a tear in the elevator on the way up to my apartment. I don't think I can see you again... for my sake.

Anyways. Happy birthday, ***. You are literally the reason why this Tumblr blog exists. I'm scared that now that you're 26... the pressure is on to get married. I hope you're happier after me.

[jessjustplay]

I finished playing Star Ocean First Departure R and I loved it!

November 29, 2022

Game: Star Ocean First Departure R First Time/Replaying: First Time Game Time: 30 hours Console: Nintendo Switch Started: October 27, 2022 Finished: November 29, 2022

I finished my first Star Ocean game! I loved this game so much. I had a ton of fun from beginning to end. It was a bit of a learning curve at first, but once you get the hang of the battle system it is pure fun!

I definitely think this game has a ton of replayability! I didn't use a strategy guide so I missed out on a lot of characters (I ended up only picking up Cyuss and Phia at the end). It would be cool to meet the other characters, so when I replay this I will be using a guide so I don't miss anything!

I haven't updated much since Update 1.6, but basically all I did was level up in the Old Race Ruins then went back to the Demon World. I managed to level up more in there as well, all the way to the laboratory.

We finally met Asmodeus and I'm pretty sure I instant-killed him with the Bubble Lotion... can't be sure, but it did seem like the battle ended out of nowhere (not complaining).

After that, I thought everything was well and good... but nope, Ilia and Ronyx came looking for us again (poor Dorne... someone should leave this poor guy a note next time we leave).

We went to a red desert planet called Fargett that looked a whole lot like Mars to me. Millie was kidnapped AND I LOST IT. I was so upset during this. Millie is my favorite and having to play through the next part of the game without her was really tough! But we managed.

With Millie absent, I put in Cyuss as my 4th party member. I immediately regretted my decision and put in Phia instead. She was a little bit stronger than Cyuss, but I ended up just giving her the "Don't do anything" command so she would stop dying so often. It was a good move!

Thankfully we found Millie before the final boss fight. Revorse Tower was long and confusing, but also a good place to level up! I didn't use a guide so I am wondering if I missed any items... next playthrough I'll be sure to get them all!

I did die in my first fight against Jie Revorse, but that's because I wasn't expecting the fight right away. I gave Ilia two special arts to use and I gave Roddick another Bubble Lotion with instant-kill... I didn't do it right away, but half way I remembered about that item and I'm pretty sure that's how I beat him!

For his 2nd phase, I have no idea how I did it, but I beat him. His attacks were definitely stronger. Thankfully Millie was on top of things and kept healing me. I gave Roddick instant kill ability again, but if it worked, it took much longer this time. Otherwise, I was just attacking and healing the entire time. I lost Ilia but it doesn't really matter since it was the last fight. Sorry, Ilia!

The Ending

The ending was great! But I was a bit ticked off that I had to fight Cyuss... what if I had died!? Thankfully I didn't, but I didn't like that bit - especially since *that* version of Cyuss was much tougher than the Cyuss I had on MY TEAM!

But anyway, Roddick and Millie went back home and Ilia and Ronyx went back to their spacecraft. The rest of the team went back home, too. It's kinda trippy that all of them were from the past...

Overall, I really liked this game. The battle system is a lot of fun, but to be honest, without Millie, the game would be torture! However, Millie is with us the majority of the game which makes for an enjoyable experience.

I can't wait to play this again!

[licorishh]

I finished Black Ops 2 yesterday and I have some... thoughts 😭. Fair warning, I kinda put it through the ringer and bash it a bit because I had a less than enjoyable experience so if you absolutely love it then... yahoo for you, I guess. You are not my target audience per se but you are welcome to educate me if you feel that I have wildly misinterpreted the way this game works.

There is genuinely nothing I can say about this game other than the fact that it's the first Call of Duty game I've ever played that I actively dislike, which sucks, because it's one of my favorite franchises and y'all frickin' know by now I'm of the opinion the original Modern Warfare games are three of if not the best video games ever made.

First of all, BO2 is so freaking glitchy??? Genuinely unplayable sometimes. Models spawn and despawn at will, textures flat-out disappear (in one of the first missions when I pulled Woods out of the train car thing his arm suddenly turned black and it just. Never got fixed for the remainder of the mission), voice lines don't trigger or they trigger multiple times (that happened three times in the part where Woods shoots Mason thinking he's Menendez; completely ruined the immersion), the way the voice lines are censored with the graphic content turned off is absolutely ridiculous and causes whole entire sentences and sometimes even whole pieces to be cut out when there’s only a word or two needing to be censored; it's insane. Did they even test this game before release?? WHO QA'D THIS?????? And I played the whole thing on an Xbox Series X we got like three months ago so don't frickin' tell me it’s my system. 😭🙏

This is a VERY common complaint, but the AI in this game is abysmally bad. It's unspeakably bad in the strike force missions but even in the base campaign I might as well have had no teammates at all.

He also has, like, no reason to even be considered a threat up until the VERY END OF THE GAME when he finally launches the attack. Up until that time we didn't see him do literally anything worth the game making him out to be this terrifying Makarov-esque adversary. Why should I even care??? And he says the stupidest cheesiest most Dreamworks-villain junk and he's just so fundamentally NOT dangerous that it's almost awkward to watch.

I was hoping Menendez would be another cool villain to get invested in, but... goodness sakes he was not. He's boring and flat as freak and the motivation they gave him for doing all these things is wildly underwhelming and makes no sense at all. I get it, dude. Your sister died (accidentally, I might add) and you are apparently so creepily obsessed with her and so unable to live without her that you... become a supervillain with a master plan to overthrow the major powers of the world by launching a cyber attack......???????? Like???????? Where is this coming from????????????????

(To clarify, I'm talking about the bit be

David and Harper are... fine, I guess? They just didn't really jump out at me like at all. Salazar's whole character just annoyed me and made me roll my eyes. It didn't feel like a betrayal; just a halfhearted attempt to shoehorn in some shock value. That and the whole bit with Menendez taking over the ship was just... so dumb. There was no lead-up to it and yet somehow I completely saw it coming.

It also felt like the exposition in this game was crazy. The whole time it felt like "Menendez is bad! Menendez is soooo bad! He's so so so so sooooooooo bad! Trust me bro he's like AWFUL" but then he just. Never... actually does anything. Until the very frickin' end of the game. That and the characters frickin' kept narrating everything that was obviously happening but didn't explain literally any of the parts I had trouble keeping up with.

Smaller nitpicks but really?? A THIRD voice actor for Hudson??? And this one just sucked. Didn't sound like Hudson at all so it made me feel practically nothing when the guy got capped. It didn't remotely feel like the same Hudson from BO1 and Cold War. Not at all. That and all the ridiculous scenes with fast switching between camera angles and slow-mo. It felt so frickin' cheesy in a dadgum Call of Duty game. Our lives are supposedly on the line with a supposedly reaaaally really bad (<- like really really bad trust me guys 🙏) bad guy right outside the door and you're gonna do a 2002 quick-zoom on Salazar as he pops the other two soldiers in the room. IT'S JUST SO UNNECESSARY I'M SORRY 😭😭😭

Don't even get me started on the ending when you either capture or kill Menendez. It's over so quickly, he's literally JUST STANDING THERE WAITING TO BE CAUGHT, and no matter which option you pick, THE GAME INSINUATES THAT CORDIS DIE IS GONNA KEEP GOING ANYWAY SO IT DOESN'T EVEN FREAKING MATTER. If you kill him he becomes by his own admission a martyr and inspiration for Cordis Die, and if you capture him, he frickin' says "Yeah lol I'll escape again (<- JUST LIKE HE ALREADY DID EARLIER IN THE GAME WHICH THEY LITERALLY EVEN BOTHERED TO POINT OUT BECAUSE HARPER REMINDS DAVID THAT CAPTURING HIM DIDN'T WORK LAST TIME) so I'll see you in a year" SO ALL OF THE EVENTS OF THE GAME JUST ACCOMPLISH FLAT-OUT NOTHING. NOTHING IS ACHIEVED IN THIS GAME. LITERALLY NOTHING.

On TOP of all of THAT, CHLOE SERVES NO PURPOSE. IN THE BAD ENDING MENENDEZ DOESN'T EVEN NEED HER BECAUSE HE LAUNCHES THE BIG BIG BIG BAD ATTACK SO THE WHOLE DEAL ABOUT BRINGING HER BACK AND SALAZAR SUBSEQUENTLY KILLING HER JUST MEANS GENUINELY NOTHING.

This game was so maddeningly frustrating I cannot quite even. Normally I'm either neutral with a positive lean or I really like COD games (World at War is the only other game I've been more "meh" on but that one at least had a very sensible story and felt like a Good Game). Black Ops 2 is just... bad. It genuinely astounds me that this one is most people's FAVORITE. WHAT DO YOU PEOPLE LOVE ABOUT THIS GAME SO MUCH IT'S COMPLETELY UNPLAYABLE AND NOTHING MAKES SENSE AND IT'S OVERDRAMATIZED TO SUCH A LAUGHABLE DEGREE THAT I FEEL LIKE I'M PLAYING A ROBLOX SHOOTER I CAN'T EVEN FHRJSJDHDHD

Maybe I missed something. I don’t know, but I played it with my dad and he feels the same way. He was nicer about it because he likes to pretend like bad things aren't as bad as they are but he definitely was confused by many of the choices made for the story and was frustrated by the blandness of Menendez' character.

It's unfortunate because I really liked what Treyarch did with Black Ops 1 and Cold War. They really popped off with those and then just royally flunked with this one. I don't know what happened. Even the models look like they were straight-up made by a different studio. It feels completely out of place with the rest of the Call of Duty games. There's zero flow or synergy or connection beyond some nostalgia bait with Woods and the couple of times Mason gets to do something (Alex, not David).

It feels like a Titanfall fan-game reject at its core. Maybe that's harsh or whatever but like honestly. Just. Eugh.

[pens-thoughts]

It still feels kinda like an out of body experience but I’ll try to put some sense into this madness by writing it down.

When i got out of the bathroom he was there waiting for me with an adorable worried look on his handsome face. He had gotten me what i thought was a glass of orange juice but before he handed it to me he smiled that stupidly wicked smirk of his: he had added just a little bit of the champagne Ben had brought to the party, he said.

“it’s like a mimosa now” he explained. “It’s yellow and pretty like your dress”.

I scoffed at that bc my dress was NOT pretty. Sure it was not as hideous as some of the other monstrosities my mother has forced me into through the years bUT STILL.

When i met his gaze he looked so dead serious though and i actually believed him for a second. I was suddenly so damn THIRSTY so i took a sip of the mimosa and it tasted sweet and bubbly and citrusy and maybe not my favorite thing altogether but the thought of him making it especially for me… i know i’ve only tasted beer once and a gulp of that horrid whiskey that time, so yeah i’m no alcohol expert. but i think mimosa is my favorite drink now.

he took me by the hand and led me to my house’s back garden. it’s still chilly outside so no one had ventured there. i shivered and he was such a gentleman and took off his jumper and offered it to me. i could see he was a little cold now too but he helped me put it on and it smelled like him and it was warm because HE HAD IT ON just a second before…

he smiled and said it was so big on me it looked like i had a second dress on. I would’ve been embarrassed but it was clear seeing me like that pleased him for some reason. “you look like you’re mine” he answered when i asked him.

i didn’t know what to do because my heart was beating SO FAST so i drank half my mimosa trying to avoid his shy yet burning blue eyes. he took gently the cup from my hands and put it and his on the bench under the big tree.

the music was muffled coming from inside the house, still he offered me his hand. “Would you please do me the honor of dancing with me?” he said, like i was some kind of princess.

And really, as he put me closer to his body and we gently swayed in a waltz-like dance in the middle of the softly lit garden, i truly believed i was the heroine in a fairytale.

and maybe it was because everything smelt and felt like him or maybe because i could hear his heart beating furiously where my head was resting on his chest or maybe it was the mimosa but i whispered something i had never thought I’d ever gather up the courage to actually say. “would you kiss me?”

He stopped and softly pushed me away from our embrace to look me in the eyes, shocked.

i was so certain i had gone and fucked it up. It was just so *me* to ruin a perfectly good moment between friends only because i was greedy. but in for a penny, i suppose… “please?” i added.

And if i had thought myself in a fairytale before, nothing could have prepared me for what happened then. the tenderness while he hold my face and caressed my cheek with his knuckles. the anticipation with which he wetted his lips with his tongue, eyes dropping to my mouth.

he kissed me gently and passionately and lovingly. it tasted like mimosa and him.

when we parted his smile was so huge his cheeks must have been hurting. he put his forehead against mine and said there i had gone again, *HIS* Pen, outsmarting him and asking him what he apparently had been meaning to do for WEEKS????

I can hardly believe it still.

I am speechless even now as i write, trying to gather my thoughts.

We both started laughing and he was SO GIDDY and i felt my heart could BURST from HAPPINESS.

“I have to tell everyone you’re my girlfriend” he almost yelled, abruptly.

Madness.

he dragged me by the hand and i could hardly keep up with him and his ridiculously long legs. i told him that and he just laughed again with SO MUCH AFFECTION.

“Shut up and dance” by Walk the Moon had just started playing and he made me spin and twirl, making me giggle uncontrollably in front of everybody.

“THIS WOMAN IS MY DESTINY” he sang/shouted at the top of his lungs, jumping up and down.

He was so EXCITED and HAPPY I couldn’t help myself so I dragged him down by his shirt and *I* kissed *HIM* this time.

YES. IN FRONT OF HIS SIBLINGS AND MY SISTERS AND MY COUSINS AND EVEN THOSE TWO DUDES I HADNT EVEN EVER SEEN BEFORE IN MY LIFE (i checked all the valuables in the house were in place when everyone left).

“Just keep your eyes on me” he told me, almost at the same time as the lyrics.

it was perfect.