#which I want to start doing more because it’s the logical next step if I want to really improve

[ss-shitstorm]

Sorry the next chapter of Bread is taking so long here's an excerpt

Your almost friend pulls you up the final step, pausing at the railing to allow you to get your bearings. How thoughtful. It's every bit as cheerfully chaotic up here, seats, barstools and stage all occupied by scaled-down bots in varying stages and sorts of intoxication.

Actually, the crowd in front of the stage seems more densely populated then it’s downstairs duplicate, tossing their version of currency at a pink and more pink femme scattering violet sparks as she spins suspended by only her hooked wrist and ankle.

Same shit, different stage. You swallow thickly, following Starscream into then around the crowd, wincing as a rust colored bot spins around on his barstool to loudly wolf-whistle at you two, while his buddy sloughs off onto the floor like wet play dough during his own attempt. Holograms or not, they seem to walk, talk and fuck like their living counterparts, and having a hyper-realistic crowd to practice in front of for the first time ever is giving you the heebie jeebies. Especially since they seem cognizant of your exotic-by-proxy status, prompting hushed whispers and elbow-jabs as you walk by.

“Yoooo is that an organic? Primus it’s an organic.”

“SHOW US YOUR PLUMBUS-!”

“Shut the FRAG up SmackJaw, they don’t all have those!”

“God, did you have to put so many people in here?!” you hiss, watching the minicons in the back rows leaving their seats to scoot closer up front as you join your companion on the stage.

“How else do you expect to get used to it? At least this audience won’t cause a problem.” He illustrates his point by kneeling down on the ledge, which “Smackjaw” is attempting to drunkenly climb, and proceeds to smack him directly in his jaw hard enough he falls backwards onto the floor.

Your own jaw drops in horror. Then disbelief as he stumbles back to his peds, blinks a few times, then goes back to cheering in a repetitive NPC fashion.

“Alright everyone-!“ Shouts Airplane man as he rights himself. “This is a LESSON, not a show. You can stay if you want, our little rookie here would benefit immensely from the pressure if you do-“ he gestures toward your shaking self as one would a frightened rabbit, hopefully not one held over an overpass. “-but they’re NOT exposing their plumbus.”

That’s enough of a deterrent for some, but not all. Smackjaw and a few others stay rooted in place while their peers shuffle to the bar or the back, where someone had unleashed a multicolored glowing beach ball to toss around.

“I can spawn a few more helium lob-balls for them, if you’d like.” Offers your teacher, who’s now leaning against the frontmost pole with his arms crossed.

“I-“ Deep breathes. Deep, deep breathes, until you hyperventilate and pass out. You exhale shakily, biting your trembling lip. “-no that’s….that’s okay.”

“You do realize how low the stakes are, don’t you?” he raises an optical ridge. “You concoct more deadly things in your lab on a daily basis and make a hobby of trying to die. Where exactly do you get off being petrified by a bunch of programs?”

He's right and you know it. But tell that to the part of your brain responsible for social anxiety, public speaking and removing clothing in public anywhere other than in front of Garbage man’s garbage gaze. “I don’t. But it’s…it’s different, okay?!”

“I know it is. Appealing to logic works for some bot’s jitters, but not others. I suppose you fall into the “others” category.” He steps off the pole, over to you and kneels down, much to your confusion. “Sit down for a moment, would you?”

You do as told, sliding into a shaky mess on the floor. “Why?”

“Because I’m giving you a medicinal solution to your jitters.” He says, opening his servo to reveal half of a Valium tablet.

Oh boy. Dr. Feelgood at it again. “That’s gonna take too long to start working.”

“If your INTAKE in the orifice you cram it into, then yes. But I’ve done my research of this substance and its bio-availability to your species. There’s other ways that, while reducing the efficacy a bit, will send it speedrunning into your system.”

You choke on nothing. “I’m…I’m not putting it in my ass.”

“Vector-sigma no! No. Why is it always feces and fecal accessories with you?!” he retches.” That’s not what I’m suggesting.”

“Then what are you suggesting?”

He answers by abruptly closing his servo around the tablet, opening it once more to reveal he’d crushed it to powder. He then procures a thin metal tube like the one you’d seen Knockout use, and offers it to you.

“Insufflate it into your olfactory organ. It should hit in five kliks tops, peak in a quarter of a groon. If you come down while we’re still working, I can give you the other half.”

Understandably, you’ve got reservations. Reservations that are reviewed and disregarded in a manner of moments, because you can’t be wasting anymore time on this. You’re learning to pole dance in a cat costume from a sentient Airplane to save a rabbit from a perverted meth kingpin mayor you now sell alien chocolate narcotics to, and none of those things should have ever come together to make a sentence. If snorting sedatives out of Airplane man’s cupped servos is going to get you done with this thing and back to your other, equally stupid jobs faster, then you’d be even stupider to not do it.

“Okay-“ you say, tube already in your hand as you push the tip into your nostril, close the other one, and proceed to clean the powder out of his hands.

You’d expected it to burn, probably due to the stabilizers to keep it in pill form. You hadn’t expected it to punch you in the back of your mouth through your nose, making your eyes water as it congeals, oozes, then drips down the back of your throat, where it also burns. You take the tube out, groaning, sniveling and clutching your head as you try to get to your feet, only to be firmly held in place.

“Not yet.” He takes the tube, roping his massive arm around both your shoulders like a lead blanket. “Stay put till it kicks in, then several moments after. Once you’re certain the room isn’t going to start spinning, or once it’s stopped, then I’ll help you up.”

You don’t try to argue, waiting impatiently for the familiar, dreamy, I-never-had-any-fucks-to-begin-with- feeling to come creeping up. Or flying-jump-kick you in the dick.

It seems to be a combination of the two; a lucid apathy setting in the precise moment you open your mouth to ask “how long-?” Only to have a “Wow…okay, yeah…wow.” flop out instead as the sensation surges, nearly knocking your seated ass backwards. Your limbs aren’t limp marionette strings this time, but the muscles in your back relax enough your torso struggles to keep you upright.

Fortunately, your lead blanket has equally few qualms about becoming a backrest. He shifts his weight, bracing the arm not slung around you to hold himself upright so you can lean into his chassis.

You wonder how long he’ll bother to stay like this until he gets bored, impatient, or decides you’re gross again and shoves you out of his lap. You wonder what exactly it’ll mean if he doesn’t do any of those things and stays put. You also wonder when exactly the last time you’d felt this at ease with someone, drugs and death machine nonwithstanding. Because despite everything, you’re experiencing a brief, Bodhisattva level of peace.

“I…uh….yeah..s'good.” you begin so very sagely. “I think I’m…ready.” you flit your (only slightly) blurred vision to your backrest’s face. “Thanks for waiting.”

“Don’t thank me yet.” He doesn’t move you, but retracts one of his arms, rolling his neck with a wince. “Not that your minuscule frame could cause any damage, but I’ll need you to return the favor. Sitting here has given me a bit of a crick.”

Blinking not entirely in sync, you crane your head back a bit further than it should go to see him reaching his free arm and servo into his subspace, emerging with a container of dusky blue powder.

“That’s…” you pause, tongue unpleasantly thick and dry against the roof of your mouth. “…that’s not Valium, is it?”

“I’ll consider that a rhetorical query.” He says, sparing you the associated look he’d give if he didn’t. “It’s nucleon nail in freebase form. A bit of a pain to evaporate and salt out of the injector, but far easier to dose out in this manner. Especially if you’re not planning on being unconscious.”

Like your long-suffering, still-recovering B1ll. The same thread of concern unraveled for your assistant tangles for your current companion, though knit with strands of incredulousness. “You’re sedating yourself?” you ask, lolling into the crevice of his side and elbow as his massive-by-comparison form shifts around you to bring the container in front of both your faces. “You’re the teacher and you’re sedating yourself?”

“Firstly, I’m relaxing myself.” He gives the container several firm shakes before popping the lid open. “I’m taking half of a recreational dose, and less than 1/4th of a therapeutic one. Secondly, it’s not just for relaxing. It’s for pain management. One doesn’t live through a war that spans planetary life cycles without incurring multiple injuries, not all of which heal properly or stay healed. Grind-dancing is likely to aggravate at least some of the scars I’ve brought back from the battlefield. He pauses, loosing a bitter growl under his breath. “Or those acquired closer to home.”

He's referring to the maulings your Mastiff dolls out. Both ones you’d failed to prevent, and ones that occurred before your planet hosted sentient life. Your heart tries to plummet, the diazepam slowing it’s fall to a gradual tumble. “I…okay yeah. Sorry.” You blurt out sheepishly. “I’ll raise my hand before I ask another stupid question.”

“Yes, well I’m not sending you to detention quite yet.” He plucks the metal tube still held loosely in your hand, before turning it palm-up towards the ceiling, cupping it in his servo. “Ready to reciprocate?”

You’ve less than zero issues doing that, but the sheer insanity of the situation still gives you pause. Snorting sedatives and alien pain relievers with an alien in a holographic representation of an alien strip club may well be the most ludicrous thing you’ve had happen to you to date, and considering the batshit ordeals you’ve been through and continue to go through in order to protect, serve, and serve your captors fecal-based-hydrocarbons, that’s fucking saying something.

This doesn’t feel like an ordeal anymore, though. In fact, it feels like the exact opposite. It feels special, intimate. The way two beings that genuinely find relief in each other’s presence feel on an excursion planned for exclusively the two of them.

It feels fun.

“Sure.” You hold both hands beneath the container in wait. “I’m guessing the uh…mass displacement doesn’t affect the dosage?”

“Not if I don’t revert to my full height till after it’s been metabolized.” He uses the tube to scrape a dime-sized amount of out the capsule and into your palms. ” Before then, it’ll be reduced to 1/10th of it’s efficacy and I’d get more pain relief from being bludgeoned in the back of the helm.”

There’s probably some fascinating physics behind that. Physics you’re not going to dissect because it falls squarely outside of your jurisdiction of mad chemist and alien cocaine mirror. Instead you stare transfixed, watching the twinkling powder, cool and oddly ticklish to the touch collect in your palms till he closes the lid.

“You really don’t have any reservations about touching organics, do you?” you ask while he cranes his head and neck forward over your shoulders, bringing the tube to his face with one servo, and raising your cradled hands with another.

He grants you a sidelong glance over your own shoulder, lambent Japanese carmine optics narrowing in amusement.

“You’ve already been in my cockpit, haven’t you?” he asks with a grin that makes your lungs stop working. “Were you acutely toxic, I would’ve been poisoned well before now. But honestly-“

He pauses, lowering his helm, shuttering his optics, and vacuuming the powder into his nostril with a soft grunt that sounds the way satin feels. “-you’ve proven to be more of an antidote, haven’t you?”

He lowers the tube and your hands, sniffling incessantly and turning wide, owlishly blinking optics toward the ceiling. At a loss for words, you don’t comment further. Somewhat because that last line was capable of scooping up someone 3 tiers out of your league at any club, alien or no. But mostly because the expression he makes, clutching the side of his face, optics half-shuttered and biting softly into the plush of his metal lips, grants the realization that out-of-your-league someone owns the lap you’re currently sitting in.

Starscream is attractive. You’ve witnessed literally everyone on the ship looking for too long when he walks away, bends over, or puts the "Airplane” in Airplane man and takes off into the stratosphere. And like many ‘isms blessed with their race’s beauty standards by default, he’s also prideful. You doubt he wants anyone beyond the CMO to know he has injuries or pain he’s forced to medicate for. That you do know paints the picture you’ve just witnessed something fairly vulnerable. A vulnerability he’d not only allowed you to see, but trusted you to participate in. Since he trusts everyone in his faction about as well as you do(which, beyond Soundwave and Lazerbeak, is no one), your mutual lack thereof functions a bit like an olive branch.

This whole setup is an olive branch, actually. He’d not only not asked why, but nearly jumped at the opportunity to give you lessons, then dosed out anxiety medication he keeps on hand for you specifically, and was comfortable enough to eat nose candy out of your hands without a second thought. Comfortable enough to leave you lounging against his chassis with his arm slung over your shoulder. To absentmindedly thread his talons through the strands of hair that falls at the nape of your neck. To guide you to the epiphany that, while your attempts to expose the fleshie-fragger your guardians had spoken of hadn’t yielded fruit, they had unintentionally narrowed your search down to a razor-thin line.

A line so thin, perhaps, it could only be traversed by stilettos. Like the ones attached to the disgustingly handsome SIC languidly rolling himself out from under you, getting to his feet, and offering his servo to help you do the same.

"Oh god, it might be Starscream." You think, dawning horror and trepidation freezing in your veins like ice as you take his offered servo and allow yourself to be pulled upright.

“Oh god-” you think again, horror and trepidation thawing to exhilaration as he leads you to the pole, servo squeezing your hand not enough to cause discomfort, but too tightly to ignore. ”-it might be Starscream.”

[birbmonster]

Revival

For those smited by the Cataclysm’s wrath, there remains a place for a second chance, after thousands of years have passed.

It takes time to get used to new life, but you readjust. Eventually.

[that-dreaded-wolf]

.x

[lymtw]

Hi ! This is my first time requesting something on Tumblr and I don't know if your requests are open, but if they are could you please write something about Toji where f!reader is his girlfriend (long term) and she gets in a small argument with young megumi in which he says she's not his mom (which she isn't, but she still kinda raised him with Toji). She gets sad and Toji comforts her and maybe scolds megumi and it's fluffy at the end ?

I hope it's not too confusing 😅 and if you don't want to do it it's completely okay ! I really like the way you write Toji and your works are so good !

A/N: Ngl I actually kinda teared up a little when I was thinking out the scenario for this. Don't judge me, it was like 2am-ish lol. This prompt is so good 😭🫶🏼

Thank you for sending in this request 💙

Toji could hear bickering coming from outside your shared bedroom, familiar voices going back and forth over who knows what in the room next door. He tried to roll over and go back to sleep, because he trusted that it would be over soon. You're an adult talking to a kid. Your logic is sharper than Megumi's, so things should be resolved quickly. His eyes shut again, but the arguing wouldn't cease. Who knows how long this has gone on for.

He sighs and blinks his tired eyes open, before getting out of bed to see what all the commotion is about at eight in the morning. He grabs his shirt from the end of the bed and slips it on, over his head, as he walks over Megumi's room. Your voices are much clearer to Toji, now, as he nears the door. He stands by to listen in on what's going on.

"I just organized your room, Megumi. All i'm asking you to do is to put your toys back where they belong when you're not playing with them."

"I am playing with them," the boy says, holding two dinosaur figures. "I'm playing with all of them. I'm gonna go back to the ones over there, right now."

You sigh. The argument has been looping this way for too long. It feels pointless to argue with a child, yet you're still doing it because deep down, it irks you to have put in so much effort to keep his space clean, just for him to trash it the second he occupies the room, again.

"Let's see." You start looking around the floor for toys you know for certain he hasn't been playing with. "You're not playing with this plushie or this car. This slinky isn't being used either and it's gonna get tangled if you don't put it somewhere safe."

The boy groans, tired of hearing you list off things you see out of place on the floor. He goes back to playing with the dinosaurs in his hands, blocking out your voice.

"Megumi, are you even listening to me?" You ask, setting some of the smaller toys you collected off the floor onto the top of his dresser.

"I don't want to and I don't have to," he utters, carelessly, not even sparing you a glance. "You're not my mom, so I don't have to listen to you. Just my dad."

You're stunned by this sudden revelation of his feelings towards you. The argument is over. Megumi was the winner because he got you to back off, but at what cost? Your heart weighed a ton after what he said. You had nothing else to say to him in that moment, so you let go of your end of the tug of war rope.

Toji hears your footsteps nearing the door and makes himself known by appearing as you're heading out.

"Hey." He attempts to grab your attention, but you don't even look at him. You pat his chest twice and leave the room. He takes a step out of the room, calling for you once more as you get farther away from him. "Ma." All he gets is a thumbs up from you as you keep walking, an indication of how you're not emotionally stable enough to respond verbally.

Toji sighs, briefly watching Megumi, who still hasn't stopped playing with his toys. He's completely unaware of what just went down.

He steps further into the room, sitting down on the edge of the bed, next to his mini.

"Megs, that wasn't cool." He receives a hum in response. "Why would you say something like that?"

Megumi's hands still. He briefly looks at his dad before resuming what he was doing. "Like what? I was just in here, playing with my toys," he says, feigning innocence, not knowing that Toji had been listening.

"I heard what you said and it wasn't nice at all. She's always been good to you."

"But what I said is true," he exclaims, his expressive, green eyes widening, defensively.

"Okay, let's calm down. I'm not raising my voice, am I?"

Megumi slowly shakes his head. He puts down the dinosaur toys and crosses his legs, folding his hands in his lap.

"I want you to look at it this way," Toji starts, looking around at the room you were once so proud of for returning to a pristine state, now cluttered with various toys and clothes. "She's always been here for you. She takes care of you when I have to go to work, she reads to you before bed, she wakes up to make you breakfast. You like when she makes breakfast, right?"

The boy nods. "I like when she makes dog shaped pancakes."

"Yeah, me too. You think she's gonna wanna be around and make dog shaped pancakes for us if you talk to her like that?"

Megumi shakes his head. "No, but she wouldn't stop telling me to clean up my toys when I told her that i'm still playing with them."

"Well, I only see you playing with this little pool of toys, here on the bed. Everything else is just scattered all over the place. You know she worked hard to clean this place up, right?"

"Mm... yeah," he responds, coyly.

"You're like a tornado, Megs," he says, causing the fluffy-haired boy to laugh. "Yeah, it's pretty funny, huh?" Megumi keeps laughing while nodding which makes Toji crack a grin.

"I'm sorry," Megumi mumbles, once he settles down. He looks down at the palm of his hand, tracing the lines on it with his thumb.

"That's not for me to hear, kid," Toji says, setting a hand on his head.

"But, i'm scared to tell her. What if she's mad at me?" He turns his head to look at his dad, eyes darting between matching green eyes and the scar that mars his lips.

"Nah, she loves you too much to ever get mad at you. How 'bout I go see what she's doing, and you draw something to give to her? When you're ready to give her your drawing, you can come out, yeah?"

"Okay." Megumi nods. "I'll go out there when i'm ready."

"Alright. See you in a bit. Love you."

"Love you, too, dad," he responds, a slight tint of red on his cheeks.

Toji leaves him to it, leaving the door slightly ajar when he exits the room. He immediately directs himself towards you. You didn't hide or hole up in the room, instead you went to the couch. Toji sits next to you, watching you scroll through your phone.

"Hey, you good?" He asks, watching your face as you turn your screen off and shift your attention to him.

You sigh. "Yeah, it's fine. It's not like he lied."

"Don't say that. You know he's wrong." He puts a hand on your knee, squeezing comfortingly. "He's still a brat that doesn't know the weight of his words. Thinks he can just fire out things like that and move on like it's nothing. As long as i'm here, he won't get away with saying ridiculous things like that to you."

"Yeah," you say, still sounding disheartened.

"I talked to him about it. The kid was just pissed that you called him out for the mess he made. He just wanted to be right, with zero logical thoughts in that head."

You nod, not wanting to say anything more about it. Everything Toji said was correct, but you still felt like you were tossed aside, in that moment. Like you were a puzzle piece that didn't fit into their family.

"Don't be bummed about it, baby. You know he loves you, and remember, he has called you 'mom' before."

That brings a smile to your face. You remember how shy he got after realizing what he said. The word slipped out so naturally. You treated him like you normally do, but on the inside you were all giddy and proud to be considered a maternal figure by him.

"There you go. There's that pretty smile," Toji says, grinning as he pulls you close.

"Stop," you say, blushing when he starts peppering your face with kisses. You giggle when he starts chasing your lips, eventually giving you the warm, comforting kisses he wanted to give you.

You push his face away when you hear the door to Megumi's room creak, followed by Megumi himself. He takes slow steps out of the hallway and when he sees you and Toji staring at him, he gets nervous. All the attention is on him so he diverts his gaze and looks down at the floor until he's standing in front of you two. His face is red and his hands are behind his back. Toji knows what he's hiding and he smiles.

"What's up, Megs?" You ask, when he just stands there, silently.

He shifts on his feet, looking at you and then at his dad, before looking at you once more. His arms come forward and his hands shakily extend a folded piece of paper towards you.

"For me?" You ask, enthusiastically, to which he nods before looking down at his feet, again. You unfold the paper and take in the whole page of bright colors. Toji looks at it over your shoulder, a soft smile resting on his face when he sees the genuine effort that was put into the page. The first thing you notice is the big 'I'm sorry' written in his jagged and uneven handwriting, followed by a heart that you can tell he redrew multiple times based on the faded outlines behind it. There's a drawing of two simplistic dogs and what looks like the flowers you put on the dinner table. There are three stick figures that resemble you, Toji, and Megumi. You smile when you see that he didn't miss Toji's scar. He used the top corner of the page to draw the sun and there are different colored stars all over the place.

"Aw, I love it! Can I keep it forever?" You ask, smiling when you look at his adorable blush-y expression.

"Yeah, I made it for you," he mumbles, shiny eyes looking back at you.

You fold the paper, carefully, making sure to follow along the crease he already made, and set it down beside you.

"Can I have a hug?" You ask, reaching your arms out. He nods and makes his way over to you, his small arms coming up short as they wrap around you. Your embrace envelops him entirely. He's nonexistent in your hold because of how small he is. You squeeze him a little tighter, causing him to giggle at the gesture. "Love you soooo much, Megs." Before you release him, you give him a small peck on the cheek. "How about some pancakes for breakfast?"

"Can you make them in the shapes of dogs, again?" He asks, tapping his foot, excitedly.

"Of course, I can," you respond, and he gets even more excited.

"Dad! D-Dad! Dad! She's gonna make dog shaped pancakes, dad!"

"Yeah, I heard," Toji responds, a dumb grin on his face. "You should help her out, today."

"Okay," Megumi says, before sprinting to the kitchen.

"I should go help him before he gets the kitchen messy, too," you say, rising from the couch when the boy quickly vanishes.

"Hey, come here," Toji says, pulling you back by your wrist. You're pulled down for some quick kisses, a continuation of the session that was interrupted earlier.

"Love you, doll," he says, his eyes flitting between your starry ones and that smile that makes him weak.

"Love you." He doesn't let go of your hand until the link breaks, once you're out of his reach.

[stuckinthesun]

How about Leon x reader one where Leon is a lot more experienced than reader and because of that and the whole Ada situation (with her just randomley appearing) she’s been putting off having sex with Leon.. Leon finally catches on and reassures her that she is all he wants and then they gave sex

the end ⭐️⭐️⭐️❤️

Yessss Ada angst is just *chefs kiss*

Ily ⭐️🫶

Leon Kennedy x Fem!Reader

Warnings: nsfw, slight angst, p in v, soft dom!Leon, oral sex (fem receiving), mention of aftercare

wc: 2.3k

Leon Masterlist

You and Leon have been dating for a little over a year now, you love this man so much and you know he feels the same about you.

Even so, the two of you still haven’t had sex.

Honestly the two of you have barely done anything other than make out. There were a handful of times where you jacked him off while he rubbed your clit, but other than that, the two of you have done nothing together sexually.

Leon has tried to take the next step before, pull you into his lap while kissing you, rubbing your thighs or slipping his hands under your shirt. You always stopped him though, saying you weren’t ready or that you weren’t in the mood.

He was always a gentleman, saying that it was perfectly fine and that you guys would go at your pace. You were thankful, of course, but it also made you feel guilty.

The truth was, it’s not that you weren’t ready. God did you want that man to fuck you senseless, but you were scared you wouldn’t be good enough. You weren’t very experienced sexually, and you don’t want to sound like one of those girlfriends, but he is.

Leon has been very honest with you about his lack of a stable relationship before you. How he spent years just bed hopping and never settling down, especially with a reoccurring morally grey, red wearing, freelance agent.

So you were scared you wouldn’t be able to live up to his expectations, even though you knew logically that he didn’t have any.

Tonight had been one of these moments, the two of you were making out and Leon pulled you into his lap. His hands gripped your hips and pulled you closer, letting you feel just how hard he was.

You moaned but instinctively pulled away, feeling that small bit of panic building. Leon’s face instantly softened, but he also looked confused and it made you feel even more guilty than usual.

“Baby,” He started, tone soft, “You know I’m more than willing to wait until you’re comfortable to have sex, and I don’t want you to feel pressured by any means, but is it something I’m doing?”

A different type of panic filled you, “No! Oh my god, Leon no absolutely not! You’re perfect and probably really good at it and just, you’ve probably had sex with women who know exactly how to make you feel good and I’ve barely done anything and-“

Your rambling was cut off by Leon putting his hand over your mouth. You looked at him, not having even realized you were looking at your lap in your panic, and saw his look of confusion had deepened.

“Wait, so the reason you haven’t wanted to have sex is because you don’t think… you’ll be good enough at it for me?” Leon asked, saying the last part like it was painful.

Suddenly embarrassed and with his hand still over your mouth, all you could do was sheepishly nod.

“Oh, honey.” He immediately melted, moving his hand to cup your face and pull you down into a kiss. It was gentle this time and you gripped his t-shirt to ground yourself, your head spinning from the emotional whiplash.

“I love you,” Leon said the moment he pulled away from the kiss, making you smile.

“I love you too.”

“And it doesn’t matter if you’re bad in bed, which I don’t think you will be by the way,” He whispered the last part teasingly, making you blush and giggle, “but even if you are, it’s not a big deal because I love you and I just want to be with you, okay?”

“Leon-“

“Besides,” He cut you off by wrapping his arms around your waist and picking you up, causing you to yelp, “I don’t plan on making you do much of the work, anyway.”

You realized Leon was carrying you in the direction of your shared bedroom, making you squirm “Wait what? Leon-“

“Now that I know what the problem is, my love, I can fix it.” He said, walking into the room and gently setting you on the bed.

He knelt down in front of you and rubbed his hands along your thighs soothingly, “Can I show you how much I want you, and just you?”

You stared at him and he stared right back, his face telling you just how serious he was. In that moment for the first time you didn’t feel scared, you felt wanted.

“Yeah.” You nodded and Leon gave you the sweetest smile.

“Thank you baby,” He said, leaning up and kissing you again, just as sweetly as before.

This time when his hand’s started to slip under your shirt and push the fabric up, exposing your skin, you let him. You didn’t flinch or move away, instead you gasped a little into the kiss, causing him to smirk against you.

“So sensitive,” Leon teased, and you whined a little, pouting into the kiss, “It’s cute baby, don’t worry.”

Leon pulled away from you and slipped your shirt over your head, and both of you were glad you weren’t wearing a bra, having already changed into your pajamas.

Although the two of you haven’t had sex before, that doesn’t mean Leon hasn’t seen you naked. He has, multiple times actually, but this is the first time he’s seeing you naked in a sexual manner. Yes you guys have done touched each other in the past, but it was always with the lights off and clothes on. It was never like this, never something so intimate.

So when you brushed your hair out of your eyes and looked down to see Leon just staring at your chest, you immediately felt uncomfortable.

“Don’t stare,” You mumble, crossing your arms to cover yourself.

Leon blinks a few times and literally shakes his head a few times to snap himself out of whatever trance he was under, before looking at you face again with an embarrassed blush, “Sorry, you’re just really beautiful.”

Now you’re the one that’s blushing, you’re eyes widening. Flustered and embarrassed you huff and reach down, tugging at the collar of his shirt, “Your turn.”

“Okay okay, impatient much?” He teased before standing up and tugging his shirt off, tossing it across the room. You stare at his defined torso, sculpted from both the gym and hard work.

“You have no right to call me beautiful when you look like that.” You hadn’t actually meant to say it out loud, thinking you would be met with a teasing laugh. Instead you were flicked in the forehead.

“We really need to work on your confidence.” Leon huffed, looking at you with almost a sad look in his eyes.

You furrow your eyebrows and open your mouth to say something but he’s already gone back to playful, leaning down to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear and ask, “Now, do you think you can lay back on the bed for me pretty girl?”

You’re eyes widen at the pet name and you’re automatically nodding, making him smile, “Good, come on I’ll help you.”

He does, he gently lays your head against the pillows and presses kisses along your lips, cheeks, neck and collarbone as he does so. The further down his mouth travels the wetter the kisses become, making goosebumps appear on your skin and small moans escape your mouth.

“There you go princess, just relax.” Leon whispers against your stomach as his fingers slip into the waistband of your sleep shorts, slowly slipping them off.

“Fuck baby, already so wet for me.” He groaned and you couldn’t help but squirm a little as he practically peeled your panties away from your cunt.

You looked up when he leaned away from you, fully pulling your shorts and underwear off and tossing them without looking, fully focused on your dripping center. That alone had you rolling your hips against nothing, making Leon spread your legs and scoot further down the bed to settle between them, “I know baby, I know just keep your legs spread for me okay?”

His tongue licked a long wet stripe between your folds before you could even nod. You let out a loud moan, your hands instantly flying down to tangle in his hair. He groaned against you, the vibrations of his voice making you roll your hips against his face.

You’ve only ever had one guy go down on you and already Leon far surpassed him. You’re back arched as he circles your clit with his tongue before sucking on it, rolling it a little between his lips.

“F-fuck Leon.” You babble breathlessly, your head turning into the pillow.

He continues like that for a little longer until he moves lower, his tongue nudging your entrance until it’s inside of you. Almost immediately you feel that familiar coil in your abdomen, making you moan louder and pull at Leon’s hair, “I’m so close fuck please I’m gonna-“

With his tongue inside of you and his nose nudging your clit, while he moans likes he’s the one being pleasured, you cum hard. You’re back arches almost painfully and you pull him closer to you, riding out the best high of your life.

As you come down you have to pull Leon off of you, his tongue still thrusting inside of you, overstimulating you.

“Sorry baby,” He mumbled, and you get the feeling he isn’t actually sorry. You look down at him and his mouth and chin are completely covered in your slick, and it’s by far the hottest thing you’ve ever seen.

“You feeling okay?”

“Please fuck me.” You beg, reaching down to grab his face and yank him up to you, kissing him despite the mess, “Right now,”

“I planned to.” Leon smirked and gave you another quick kiss before standing up and stepping out of his sweatpants. He was already hard and leaking, and your eyes widened at the sight.

“You had me humping the bed like a teenager there baby, you sounded so hot.” He said reaching into his nightstand drawer and pulling out a condom.

When you raised an eyebrow at the little foil packet he just shrugged, “I like to be prepared.”

You watched as he ripped open the little packet and pulled the condom out, rolling onto his cock after giving it a few strokes.

Leon held his length in his hand, slowly sliding the head through your folds, gathering your slick and working you back up. Soon you were rolling your hips with him, the head of his cock massaging your clit.

“Read baby?” He asked, leaning down so your foreheads were touching.

“Yes.” You moaned, nodding against him.

Leon nodded and leaned back again, watching as he lined himself up with your entrance and slowly pushed in.

“Fuuuuck,” Leon groaned as he watched the head pop inside. Your mouth opened on a silent scream, fists clutching the sheets tightly.

“Hold on to me baby, I’m right here.” Leon whispered, and you immediately wrapped your arms around his shoulders, holding onto him as he slid in more. “There you go princess, just stay with me.”

Once he was all the way inside he stopped moving, letting you adjust to the new feeling of him being inside of you. You honestly couldn’t remember the last time you had sex and the feeling was almost overwhelming.

You took some deep breath’s and tried to keep your body relaxed, trying to remember the pleasure from moments ago and not the pain of right now.

The pillow behind your head crinkles suddenly, and you crack an eye open to see Leon white knuckling it. All at once you’re aware of how much he’s twitching inside of you, how hard he’s breathing and his breathy little moans. He’s trying so hard not to move, and you can’t help but smile.

Maybe you really were worried for nothing.

You tilt your head to the side to whisper in his ear, “You can move.”

“Okay,” He says with a raspy voice and slowly starts to roll his hips, causing both of you to moan.

The rolls of his hips turn into thrusts and soon he has a rhythm, fucking into you with purpose. He almost immediately finds your sweet spot, hitting it every time, making you see stars and claw welts on his back.

“Fuck baby, you feel so good just like I imagined. So perfect, absolutely perfect like this on your back for me moaning my name.”

“L-Leon,” You moan exactly like he said, wrapping your legs around his waist to pull him closer, deeper.

“S-shit baby I don’t think I’m gonna last long,” Leon groans into your neck, fucking into you erratically.

“Me too, fuck I’m gonna-“ You’re second orgasm is ripped from you without warning, making your eye’s roll and your legs shake.

“God!” The feeling of your walls tightening around him pulls Leon right along with you, his hips stuttering as he fills the condom.

He fucks both of you through your orgasms until it becomes too much, and he slowly pulls out of you before flopping down next to you on the bed.

The two of you lay there, panting and boneless, and you try not to think about the gross feeling of your slick drying between your legs.

“Wow.” You mumble, staring at the ceiling.

Leon chuckles, “Yeah, wow.”

You hear what sounds like him pulling off the condom but you’re too exhausted to actually sit up and look.

It’s okay though, because suddenly Leon is leaning next to you, head resting on his arm and and a smile on his face, “So, did that help your worries?”

You turn your head a little too face him and give him a small smile, “Yeah, thank you.”

“Of course, my love.” Leon beamed, leaning down to kiss you, “Now why don’t I run us a bath, hmm?”

“That sounds wonderful.”

This might be my best one yet🤔

[jihyoruri]

❚ ❚ 𓍢 JIHYORURI 106 FM | jihyoruri 106 FM catalog for today brought to you by your very own jihyoruri! new music by kim minji will follow up next ; school!au , fluff, angst,

now playing: cool with you; by kim minji 1:35 ━━○───── 3:47 ⇄ ◃◃ ⅠⅠ ▹▹ ↻ ılıılıılıılıılıılı ᴠᴏʟᴜᴍᴇ : ▮▮▮▮▮▮▯▯▯

when yn first laid her eyes on kim minji, she was just amazed at how perfect the girl seemed to her.

minji wasn’t just pretty, she was effortlessly captivating, with an infectious laugh that made yn's heart skip a beat.

as class president, she commanded attention with a natural grace, but it was her confidence and charm that truly left yn in awe.

to yn, she seemed perfect in every way, almost unreal, and from that moment, she couldn't help but be drawn to her.

yn’s first conversation with minji would forever haunt her, a mess of embarrassment she couldn’t shake off, and she blamed it all on hanni.

“where are you taking me?” yn whispered urgently, the jingling charms on her backpack clinking with every hurried step. hanni’s grip on her wrist was relentless, nearly cutting off circulation, as she dragged yn down the hallway without a word.

hanni stayed silent, her pace unrelenting. yn began to wonder if the school had installed a new vending machine, because honestly, that was the only logical reason she could think of for hanni to be acting like this.

but then it hit her. they weren’t heading toward the vending area; they were on a direct path to the guidance room, a place where kim minji practically lived.

yn’s heart sank. hanni knew about her crush on minji, which meant this was going to be a disaster.

“hanni, whatever you’re thinking of doing, please don’t,” yn pleaded, her voice laced with panic.

“just trust me bro,”

without warning, hanni shoved the door open, practically dragging yn inside before she could protest. yn’s heart raced as the familiar scent of the guidance room hit her, her pulse thudding in her ears.

“minji!” hanni called out confidently, her voice echoing through the room.

minji, sitting at her desk, barely looked up from her papers. “if this is about a new vending machine, I don’t want to hear it, I don’t have that kind of power,” she sighed, clearly exasperated.

hanni rolled her eyes. “actually, i’m here to introduce you to someone. remember how you said you needed a vice president? well, i’ve got the perfect candidate for you.” hanni gestured dramatically toward yn, whose face was quickly turning bright red.

minji finally looked up, her eyes landing on yn for the first time. surprise flickered across her face, and she slowly took yn in, her gaze lingering a moment longer than yn expected. “her?” minji asked, her voice soft, curiosity laced in her tone. “do you really think she'd be a good candidate?”

yn's throat went dry. this was her chance. she opened her mouth, but no coherent words came out—just a nervous jumble of sounds. “I, uh… I mean… maybe? I don’t—well, i’m not—”

she could hear hanni’s quiet snickering.

minji’s lips quirked up into a soft smile, clearly amused by yn’s flustered state. “that’s adorable,” she said, her voice gentle. “welcome, vice president.”

the start of the school year had been a whirlwind for yn. after what hanni thought was an hilarious awkward introduction, she and minji had spent months side by side as class president and vice president.

they became inseparable, studying together, planning school events, and even hanging out on weekends. minji’s playful teasing and lingering looks made yn's heart race, and more than once, yn felt like there might be something more between them.

but just when things were starting to feel real, yn’s close friend outside of hanni chaeyoung, threw a wrench into her thoughts.

“yn,” chaeyoung began hesitantly one afternoon, her cheeks turning pink as she twirled a strand of hair nervously. “I… I need to tell you something.”

yn looked up, curious. “what’s up?”

chaeyoung bit her lip, glancing away before taking a deep breath. “I kind of have a crush on someone. like, a huge crush.”

yn smiled, leaning in with a playful nudge. “really? who is it? do I know them?”

chaeyoung nodded, her blush deepening. “yeah, you… you know her really well.” she hesitated, then murmured, “it’s… it’s minji.”

yn’s smile froze, her stomach twisting. “m-minji?”

“yeah.” chaeyoung’s face was filled with hope as she looked at yn. “she’s just… so cool and smart and funny. I’ve been trying to talk to her, but it’s been hard, you know? I thought maybe… maybe you could help me? since you’re close with her.”

yn’s stomach twisted. she liked minji more than she’d ever admitted out loud, but she also wanted her friend to be happy. and, after all, maybe minji didn’t really like her that much… right?

yn forced a smile, trying to ignore the painful knot forming in her chest. “oh, um… yeah. I mean, I guess I could help.”

chaeyoung beamed, oblivious to yn’s inner stress. “thank you, yn! you’re the best. I just… really think she could like me, you know?”

yn’s heart sank, but she nodded, trying to keep her voice steady. “yeah… maybe she could.”

with a heavy heart, yn started putting effort into setting up chaeyoung and minji, brushing aside her own feelings.

she arranged casual hangouts where she’d subtly nudge minji and chaeyoung together, even though each time hurt more than the last. soon enough, a class trip to a theme park came up, and yn thought it’d be the perfect chance for them to grow closer.

the group reached the roller coaster, and yn tried pairing minji with chaeyoung for the ride. “you two go together! I’ll go with hanni,” she said, but hanni immediately backed away, shaking her head, wide-eyed with fear.

chaeyoung wasn’t much better. “sorry, yn… I’m kind of scared too.”

yn forced a smile. “okay, no problem! I’ll just go by myself—”

“wait,” minji interrupted, grabbing yn’s wrist gently. “I’ll go with you.”

as they climbed into the roller coaster, yn noticed how tightly minji was gripping the bar, her face paler than usual. “are you okay? you look terrified,” yn whispered.

minji gave a small laugh, her eyes darting nervously to the towering track ahead. “yeah I’m scared out of my mind,” she admitted. “but… I didn’t want you to go alone. I’d rather be here with you, even if it’s terrifying.”

yn’s heart swelled, and without thinking, she reached over and took minji’s hand. “I’ve got you,” she said softly, and they held hands through the entire ride, neither letting go until it was over.

as the evening wore on, yn and minji broke away from the group to get some drinks. they found a quiet bench under the glow of the theme park lights and sat together, the soft hum of the distant rides mixing with the calming night around them.

“I still can’t believe you went on that ride with me, even though you were scared,” yn said, shaking her head with a soft smile, trying to lighten the air between them.

minji looked down, a shy smile tugging at her lips. “I guess I’d do just about anything if it meant being with you.” she glanced up, her eyes locking with yn’s. after a brief silence, her voice dropped, more vulnerable than yn had ever heard. “yn… I really, really like you.”

yn’s heart seemed to stop mid-beat, her mind racing in a whirlwind of hope and panic. “no… you can’t,” she stammered, her hands trembling. “chaeyoung… she really likes you, minji. I was just trying to set you two up so she could have a chance.”

minji’s expression darkened, her brows knitting together in frustration as hurt flashed in her eyes. “yn, just because chaeyoung likes me doesn’t mean I have to like her back! why do you keep pushing me toward her when I’ve been trying to show you how much I care? why do think I’ve tagged along with you to all these places with her?”

yn shook her head, her vision blurring with unshed tears. “you don’t understand, minji. I’ve been trying so hard to do the right thing. chaeyoung’s my friend, she deserves to be happy, and… and you—” her voice cracked as tears began to fall.

“and what?” minji’s voice wavered, her own tears threatening to spill over. “and I don’t? you don’t? yn, you’ve been so busy thinking about chaeyoung that you haven’t even stopped to ask how I feel how we feel!”

“because it doesn’t matter!” yn cried, her voice breaking as she looked away, her hands gripping the bench to steady herself. “it doesn’t matter what I feel. I can’t hurt her like that. she’s one of my best friends.”

minji’s hands clenched into fists, her frustration mixing with the raw emotion in her voice. “it does matter, yn! it matters because I like you! not chaeyoung, not anyone else—you! why can’t you see that? why would I have accepted you as vice president when all you sis was stutter your ass off, I thought you were cute, and pretty.”

her voice cracked, tears now streaming down her face. “you keep trying to push me away, but it’s you I want.”

yn’s tears fell harder, and she shook her head again, her voice barely a whisper. “please… just stop. I don’t know what to do anymore.”

minji reached out, gently taking yn’s hand, her grip shaky but firm. “I’ll fight for you, yn. I don’t care how complicated this is, I’ll fight for us, because you’re worth it.”

before yn could process the words, minji leaned in, her lips meeting yn’s in a kiss that was tender yet filled with a desperate longing. yn’s heart surged, overwhelmed by the emotions flooding through her. but as minji pulled away, yn’s tears came faster.

“I… I can’t do this to her,” yn choked, pulling her hand from minji’s grasp. “it wouldn’t be fair. I’d be betraying her.”

minji’s face fell, her own tears falling freely now. “and what about us?” she asked, her voice trembling. “what about what we could be? are you really willing to let that go because of her crush?”

yn’s breath hitched, her chest tightening as she looked into minji’s pleading eyes. “I… I don’t know. I just… I don’t want to hurt anyone.”

minji wiped her tears angrily, her frustration bubbling over. “and what about me, yn? I’m hurting too. just because chaeyoung likes me doesn’t mean i’m obligated to feel the same way. I’m telling you, right here, that I like you. isn’t that enough, do you like me?”

“yes.”

“then what’s the problem?!”

yn swallowed hard, her tears blurring her vision. “I can’t… I just can’t do that to her.”

minji let out a shaky breath, defeated, her voice barely above a whisper. “fine. if that’s how you really feel.” she stood up, wiping her face as she looked away, her heart clearly breaking. “let’s just… get back to the others.”

as they made their way back to the group, the silence between them was deafening, both painfully aware of what could have been, yet knowing that something precious had been shattered.

[willowsnook]

coach's daughter

hii can i get ham and swiss on rye mikes way 🙏

a/n: I wrote this whole thing, forgetting it was supposed to have smut and didn't really feel like it fit. i am sorry :( but I could do a pt. 2 with it if anyone wants it

joe burrow x taylor!reader

just let me in

———————————————————

Joe had known quite a few coaches in his football career and, for the most part, liked them all. They were all good people that he got along with well. Zac was no different when it came to that, but there was one thorn in their relationship: his 23-year-old daughter. 

You did not like Joe Burrow. You didn’t really have a reason not to like him, but you just didn’t. You liked underdogs, always drifting towards the undrafted guys on the team, and he was the opposite of that. It’s not like you were out right mean to him, you just regarded him with cold indifference. Everyone’s infatuation with him made you dislike him more, much to your father’s dismay. Your dad was your best friend, and he had made sure you were by his side ever since you were a kid, which meant that football was also your life. You’d studied sports management at Cincinnati and now worked on the scouting team for the Bengals. You knew you only got your foot in the door because of your dad, but why waste opportunities right in front of you? 

This season had been rough, and you felt it at work and every time you talked to your dad. He was quieter, dejected almost, as he tried to figure out how to move the team forward. It didn’t help either that some players spoke more candidly with the press about the struggles. 

“I’ve done everything I can on the field. Ask the coaches, ask Zac, man, I don’t know,” Ja’Marr told a reporter who asked what could have been done differently after another loss.

The comment made you feel conflicted because, on the one hand, he was right, and you knew football well enough to know that. But on the other hand, it was your dad, and you knew your dad. You know how great of a coach he can be. Leaving the facility that night, you were irritated and, of course, had to run into the one person who you knew would make it worse. 

“Hey,” Joe said as he followed you out the door into the private parking lot. 

“Hey,” you replied, your voice clipped and he sighed next to you.

“Why the attitude? " he said, and you didn’t say anything; you just kept walking towards your car. You’d made it and were just about to open the car when you felt Joe grab your arm, forcing you to turn around. “I don’t agree with what Ja’Marr said.” 

“I find that hard to believe,” you said, crossing your arms over your chest. “You are two peas in a pod. I’m sure you’ve talked about it.”

“We are two different people ya know,” he argued, eyes narrowing. “He’s upset. We all are.”

“I’m upset too Joe, but what the fuck do you want me to do about it right now? I don’t care if you do agree with Ja’Marr, why are you cornering me in a parking lot to tell me that?” You snapped and you could tell he was starting to get annoyed. 

“I was just going to my car but thought it might be a good idea to be nice to you, but I guess I was wrong,” he said, frustrated, and you took a step closer to him. 

“I don’t need you to be nice to me, I need you to do your fucking job on the field,” you shot back. Logically, you knew there was nothing he was doing wrong on the field, but you were too mad to admit that. 

“Tell your dad to do his first,” he automatically said, and you flinched back, eyes blinking, trying to process whether he actually said that. 

“i didn-,” he started but you held up your hand to stop him from continuing. 

“Heard,” was all you replied before turning and getting into your car. The audacity of that man. He stood frozen watching you as you pulled out of the lot, praying that his words didn’t reach your dad’s ears. 

————————————————

You didn’t tell your dad what Joe had said; you were trying to keep anything the press was saying about him away, which was difficult considering he had a phone, but hell, you were trying. The weeks were starting to wear you down, and along with doing your workload, you were carrying a lot of emotional weight for your dad.

The two of you were closer than most dads and daughters, and you saw it as part of your job as his daughter to get him through this. For the past two weeks, you have been doing deep analysis of both games and talking it over with him, highlighting good things and how he could expand on them moving forward. Because of this, you have been running on about 5 hours of sleep each night, less on the weekends when you have to travel for college games.

Clocking in another late night at the facility, you were stopped on your way out by the sight of two people on the field throwing the ball back and forth. Curious, you stepped out and realized it was Joe and Ja’Marr getting some reps in during the cold night.

Ja’Marr noticed you first, jogging over to meet you as you stepped out on the field. Joe turned to see what he was looking at and hesitated as he saw you.

“Late night practice?” You joked with a forced smile.

“Thought it couldn’t hurt,” Ja’Marr said before looking at the ground. “I’m sorry for what I said about coach. I know you aren’t him but I’m sure it didn’t feel good hearing it.”

“It’s alright,” you said, looking at him. “We’re all going through it.”

Joe frowned at your response to Ja’Marr, which turned into a slight pout. “I don’t understand why you bit my head off about this, but you are being nice to him, and he’s the one who said it.”

“He doesn’t irritate me like you do,” you said, rolling your eyes. Ja’Marr smirked, looking between the two of you.

“I don’t even do anything to you,” Joe complained and you shrugged.

“What are you guys really doing out here?” You asked, catching them both off guard. You didn’t miss the nervous glance Ja’Marr gave to Joe so you turned to him waiting.

“I’m worried about my wrist in the cold,” he admitted, bracing for impact of what he imagined would be a million more questions from you.

“Okay. Get on with it,” you said, and Ja’Marr nodded, running back out. You stayed rooted where you were standing, wrapping your arms around yourself to try and keep a little warm. Joe was looking at you, trying to figure out what you were doing, but eventually accepted it. He tugged off his sweatshirt, leaving him in only a tight long sleeve, and handed it to you.

“I’m fine,” you said stubbornly and he gave you a look.

“Put it on,” he said in a tone that left no room for argument, so you begrudgingly slipped the hoodie over your head. You stood watching for about 10 rounds of passing before walking closer to Joe, eyebrows furrowed. He looked at you expectantly.

“You have a problem,” you stated and he stiffened, nervous about what you were thinking.

“It’s my first time doing it tonight, and I think it will feel better if I keep at it. It feels okay now, just a little stiff,” he started off, but you shook your head, stopping him.

“You have a mental problem, it’s not the physical wrist,” you told him and he rolled his eyes.

“No.”

“Yes.”

“How could you even know that? You’re not me,” he said and your eyes hardened at his stubbornness.

“Ja’Marr, come here,” you yelled and the receiver jogged over. “Are you getting the same passes you normally get from Joe?”

Ja’Marr shifted nervously, “he’s throwing good passes.”

“That wasn’t the question,” you said, and Ja’Marr finally shook his head no as Joe glared at him. Your eyes softened as you looked back at Joe. “You’re hesitating. Afraid of re-injury, which is completely normal.”

Joe's jaw clenched as he processed your words. He wanted to deny it, to argue that you didn't know what you were talking about. But deep down, he knew you were right. The fear of re-injuring his wrist had been gnawing at him, affecting his performance more than he wanted to admit.

"So what if I am?" he finally said, his voice low and defensive. "It's not like I can just turn it off."

You sighed, running a hand through your hair. Despite your usual animosity towards Joe, you couldn't help but feel a twinge of sympathy. "Look, I'm not saying it's easy. But you need to address it if you want to move past it."

Ja'Marr nodded in agreement. "She's right, man. We've all noticed it, but didn't want to say anything."

Joe's shoulders slumped slightly in defeat and you felt a wave of sadness wash over you.

“We have a team psychologist for a reason,” you said. “No one has to know.”

He nodded and you could tell his mind was reeling. Deciding that it was time to go home you started to lift up the hoodie he gave you but he stopped you.

“It’ll be cold going home, so just give it to me sometime later,” he said, and you nodded. Waving goodbye to Ja’Marr, you headed off the field, your mind focused on a certain quarterback.

———————————————————————

Something was off with you, but Joe couldn’t figure out what it was. You looked tired, he thought, and you weren’t taking jabs at him when he provoked you anymore. It was starting to irritate him mostly because you had figured him out so quickly. He contemplated this as he headed towards Zac’s office, stopping short when he saw you outside of it talking to a couple of assistants.

“I saw the interview this morning. I don’t think he’s seen it yet, so let's try our best to make sure it’s not brought up. I already talked with PR this morning, who is trying to distract away from it.”

The assistants nodded as you finished talking, and everything started to click for Joe. You were trying your best to shield your dad from the negative so that he could focus on fixing the team, but it was clearly taking a toll on you.

He walked into Zac’s office a couple of minutes after you and saw Zac looking over some papers you had just handed him. You gave him a small smile as he entered and turned to leave. Joe sat down, waiting for Zac to dive into the meeting.

“God, this team would fall apart without her,” he muttered and looked up to see Joe, curiously looking at him. “She’s been writing up game analysis from this year with suggestions and whatnot, trying to keep me focused. Maybe the team wouldn’t fall apart without her, but I certainly would.”

Joe nodded, “She forced me to see the team psychologist.”

“I heard,” Zac replied, looking at his quarterback.

“I was surprised, considering it doesn’t seem like she likes me that much,” Joe admitted and Zac laughed.

“Yeah whatever, she likes you more than a lot of the guys here,” he said.

“She’s not very friendly to me,” he said and Zac was amused at seeing an almost pout on Joe’s face.

“That’s how I know she likes you,” he said. “She’s always been like that, putting up a brick wall to guard what she’s feeling or thinking.”

Joe's brow furrowed as he processed Zac's words. He'd never considered that your cold demeanor towards him might be masking something else. It made him think back to your interactions over the past few weeks - the way you'd figured out his mental block on the field, how you'd given him advice about seeing the team psychologist. Maybe there was more beneath the surface than he'd realized.

"I never thought about it that way," Joe admitted. "She just always seemed so... irritated by me."

Zac chuckled. "Trust me, if she truly didn't like you, you'd know it. She's not one to hide her feelings when she really dislikes someone."

Joe nodded slowly, a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. "So you're saying I might have a chance then?"

Zac's eyebrows shot up. "Woah there, did you forget who you’re talking to?”

Joe immediately turned red because he had, in fact, forgotten. He was frozen, thinking about how he had just asked his head coach if he could date his daughter.

————————————————————

The loss to the Steelers broke you. It finally felt like everything was starting to fall apart. After the game, you were silent, staying on the field longer to think. It felt like you were shouldering everyone else’s burdens, and now you were collapsing.

“Have you seen y/n?” Joe heard Zac ask as people were leaving the locker room. “She normally stops by after the game.”

He had noticed that during the season, win or lose, you always walked out with your dad, so this was unusual.

“Do you know where y/n lives?” He asked Ja’Marr, trying to act as casually as possible. Ja’Marr looked up at him with a wide grin.

“Why do you want it?” He asked, a teasing glint in his eyes.

“No reason,” he replied quickly and somehow the grin got wider.

“I fucking knew it,” he said.

“Knew what?”

“You have a thing for her!” Ja’Marr exclaimed and Joe quickly looked around to make sure no one else was in earshot.

“So what?” He replied, trying to act like he wasn’t rattled.

“Here’s her address, lover boy,” Ja’Marr teased, letting Joe copy it into his phone. “Enjoy your last weeks alive before he finds out.”

Once he had finished at the facility, Joe drove over to your place, admiring the cute little cottage-style house you owned. He knocked on the door, trying to figure out his game plan.

You had just gotten out of the shower and changed into a pair of sweats and a t-shirt as you headed towards the door. Shocked was an understatement about how you felt seeing Joe at the door.

“Can I come in?”He asked, shivering from the cold. You stepped aside as he came into the warmer air.

“What are you doing here? And how do you know where I live?” You asked, watching him sit down on a barstool and turn to face you.

“I wanted to see if you were okay,” he said nonchalantly, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Don’t you have my number?” You countered.

“Would you have answered?” He shot back and you stayed silent while he smiled triumphantly.

“I’m fine,” you said, crossing your arms. “Now leave.”

“Nope.” Joe said staring you down.

You sighed heavily, realizing Joe wasn't going to leave easily. "Look, I appreciate the concern, but I really just want to be alone right now."

Joe's eyes softened as he looked at you. "I get it. But I also know what it's like to shoulder everyone else's burdens. It's not healthy to keep it all bottled up."

His words hit closer to home than you wanted to admit. You felt your defenses start to crack slightly. "What do you want from me, Joe?"

"Just talk to me," he said gently. "No judgement, no expectations. Just... let me in."

You hesitated, warring with yourself. Part of you wanted to maintain the walls you'd built, to push him away like you always did. But another part, a part you'd been ignoring, craved the connection.

"I don’t know how,” you admitted. “I’m so focused on everyone else I don’t think I can understand how I’m feeling.”

“Why?” He asked softly. “Why do you feel like you have to fix everyone?”

His question caught you off guard. You had never really realized it about yourself, but it checked out. You were the friend everyone came to for advice or help fixing a problem. Historically, all your boyfriends had been guys with something you wanted to fix. And now you were spending your time studying games so closely to help your dad fix his team.

“I don’t like things I can’t control, but everything is starting to feel like it’s spiraling,” you said and your voice cracked on the last word. Joe quickly got up and had pulled you into his chest as the first tear hit your cheek.

You stiffened at first, not used to this level of intimacy with Joe. But as he held you tightly, rubbing soothing circles on your back, you felt yourself start to relax. The dam finally broke and you let out a choked sob, burying your face in his chest.

"It's okay," Joe murmured, his voice low and comforting. "Let it out."

And you did. All the stress, the worry, the frustration of the past weeks came pouring out. Joe just held you, occasionally whispering words of comfort, but mostly just being a steady presence.

"I just... I feel like if I can't fix everything, then what good am I?" You whispered.

Joe's eyes softened with understanding. "You don't have to fix everything, y/n. You're not responsible for everyone else's problems or failures.”

“Why are you being so nice to me?” You asked, trying to lighten the mood. “I’ve been so mean to you.”

“Your dad told me that it meant you liked me,” he said with a small grin. You blushed, burying your head back into his chest. You felt the rumble of his laughter as you burned with embarrassment.

“Why don’t I order us something to eat, and we can watch a movie or something?” he suggested, and you nodded, grateful that he had come. You heard him call a pizza place before he joined you on the couch, choosing to sit right next to you.

You felt yourself relax as Joe settled in next to you on the couch. The warmth of his body was comforting, and you found yourself leaning slightly towards him without even realizing it.

"So, what are we watching?" Joe asked, grabbing the remote.

You shrugged. "Something mindless? I don't think I can handle anything too heavy right now."

"Mindless it is," Joe agreed, scrolling through Netflix until he found a cheesy rom-com.

As the movie played on, you found yourself forgetting about the stress of the past few weeks. Joe’s arm had somehow ended up draped across the back of the couch, and you weren’t sure when, but your head was now resting on his shoulder. It was surprisingly…nice.

“I never pegged you as a rom-com guy,” you teased softly, breaking the comfortable silence.

Joe smirked, his voice light. “Don’t knock it. Sometimes you just need a happy ending.”

You raised an eyebrow at him, fighting a smile. “Is that so?”

He turned his head to meet your eyes, his expression uncharacteristically serious.

“Yeah, it is. And maybe you need one, too.”

His words hung in the air, the weight of them settling in your chest. There was something so genuine in the way he looked at you that it made your heart race.

“I don’t know if I’m cut out for happy endings,” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. “I’m too busy trying to keep everyone else’s story from falling apart.”

Joe reached out, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, his fingers lingering just slightly. “Maybe it’s time you let someone else take care of you for a change.”

You felt your breath hitch, the vulnerability in his words sending a warmth through your chest. Before you could overthink it, before you could convince yourself otherwise, you leaned in and pressed a soft, hesitant kiss to his lips.

Joe froze for half a second before kissing you back, his hand coming up to cup your cheek gently. The kiss was slow and unhurried like he had all the time in the world to show you exactly how much he cared.

When you finally pulled away, his forehead rested against yours, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

“Guess your dad was right,” Joe murmured, his tone teasing but his eyes filled with something much deeper. “You do like me.”

You rolled your eyes, but you couldn’t help the smile spreading across your face. “Shut up, Burrow.”

[milykins]

Poly Dad HCs

Taking the Dad HCs to the next level we have the poly dad HCs. I couldn't help but imagine how things would go if the Reader had children with two or more of the Bayverse guys. I've done all the pairings I could think of. My personal favourite is Blood Orange.

TW: Depictions of poly-type relationships and reverse harem-type relationship (All four with one woman), aged up characters.

Special thanks to @sophiacloud28 for checking it over for me!

Leo and Donnie (Blurple) 💙💜

Parenting children would be fairly harmonious because these two dads are. On. The. Same. Page.

Both have similarly calm demeanors and will likely will be reflected in their kids as well.

They may disagree on the question of who parented who. Leo would prefer to be kept in the dark whereas Donnie would be curious about which ones are biologically his. He would never voice it, though. He loves them all equally of course.

Donnie does the science side of things while Leo covers the spiritual and martial arts side.

They do clash sometimes with the science vs. spirituality argument and may disagree on certain things like bedtime. Leo is fairly strict on certain aspects. The children must have a routine to keep things running smoothly and he is very unmoving on .

Donnie will do his best to follow said routines but is a little more relaxed. Just one more book Leo, then he promises he’ll put the kids to bed. Leo can be persuaded… usually by you, to relax a little bit.

On discipline Leo is definitely the tougher of the two. At times being too hard on the kids. Donnie will step in with a gentler approach, using logic and understanding to solve things. He doesn’t undermine Leo’s discipline techniques but rather shows him that there is more than one way to deal with certain issues.

Between these two their kids are loved, fed, safe, and well taken care of with clear boundaries set to teach them right from wrong.

Raph and Mikey (Blood Orange) ❤️🧡

These two dads may not always be on the same page but they absolutely love their kids. They’re both protective as heck too.

They complement each other well in certain aspects. Mikey does the fun dad thing, while Raph is more on the quieter side. The kids get the best of both worlds.

Neither of them care to know which ones are biologically theirs but it tends to be pretty obvious with certain inherited personality traits.

Surprisingly enough, Raph is the one who ends up sticking to things like a bedtime schedule. In the beginning, Mikey is so lax on it he would let the kids just fall asleep where they may and eat when they were hungry. Raph had to be the one to reel him in, fix up a bedtime schedule and have regularly scheduled meals. It only took one week of no rules or schedule and the two of them had their hands full with grumpy, tired and wild off the rails children. You and Raph end up having to sit Mikey down and explain gently, (on your part, not so much Raph’s) that the kids need some structure. Luckily, Mikey is so easygoing that he easily agrees to the routine and some clear rules and boundaries.

On discipline, Raph starts off being way too hard on the children with some pretty harsh punishments. This is where Mikey actually has to reel him in.

Raph ends up making one of them cry and Mikey is dad mode activated. He asks Raph if he really wants to be that type of parent, the one who scares his kids into behaving.

Despite his stubbornness, this actually sparks a moment of clarity for Raph. After that, he’s softer. He learns that there is a better way to teach his children respect and discipline.

On your part, it’s a bit of a challenge keeping these two on the same page but the one thing they agree on is how much they love their children, and you.

Leo and Mikey (Synergy) 💙🧡

This pairing might also be a little more challenging due to how drastically different these two are. Leo often feels Mikey is like an extra child on top of their biological ones.

They are both unconcerned with which ones are ‘theirs’ all children belong to both of them no matter their personality or who they resemble more.

Leo tries to impose a strict routine early on and expects Mikey to just follow it. Wishful thinking on his part you would say.

Mikey does at first… but easily finds loopholes to get around things like sneaking the kids treats before dinner, reading just one more book at bedtime and citing that there’s just five more minutes on the movie they’re watching.

At first it drives Leo crazy and he wastes a lot of energy trying to push his younger brother to fall in line. So many lectures on why a routine is important and deviating from it will cause unwanted behaviours etc.

Mikey may be the fun loving easygoing one out of the two of them but he will not be steamrolled by his brother. He does stand up to Leo when he sees fit because he’s a parent too and he has a say in how their children will be raised. Leo doesn’t expect this and along with you gently pushing him to actually listen to his brother for once.

With your help, Mikey actually gets Leo relax a little with his strict schedules and rigid discipline ideals.

The most incredible thing that happens as a result is Leo learning how to have fun and actually play with his kids. Mikey and the kids rope him into dance parties, tea parties, pillow fights and the like.

At first Leo is fairly awkward feels out of place but then he finds he secretly loves it.

Mikey brings out his playful side and Leo in return helps Mikey be calmer and more apt to raise the children with some healthy boundaries. Discipline, kindness, honour and a huge amount of love is how this parenting relationship would go.

Mikey and Donnie (Wise Crack) 🧡💜

Coparenting between these two is a pretty relaxing affair. Both employ gentle parenting techniques and both would need guidance from you on discipline practices and routines.

Just enough so that the kids don’t walk all over them. Once they have that down, the two of them would likely get along pretty well and be on the same page for the most part.

Donnie is still the fun science dad and Mikey is the fun playful dad. Between these two, their children are never bored.

Donnie might need ‘resetting’ from time to time, getting too consumed in his work, wrapped up in his projects and spending too much time in his lab. This is where Mikey comes into play.

He will team up with the children and ‘bully’ him into leaving his work and spending time with them. He’ll play directly into his love of science and all things technology-related too.

He’ll schedule a visit to the museum, the planetarium or plan some fun science experiments, bonus if they end up exploding and Don has to step in before someone (likely Mikey) hurts themselves. He does these things even though science tends to be pretty boring to him, but the kids absolutely love it. Mikey ends up learning how to like science as a result.

Donnie, in turn learns the importance of spending time with his children and cuts down on his work in the lab for good.

The children, and you of course are much better off with two committed, available dads that love you and their children more than anything.

Raph and Leo (Viole-n-t) ❤️💙

Oh, these two… they barely like sharing YOU, parenting their collective children is a whole other challenge in itself.

Raph automatically pushes back on Leo’s strict schedule and boundaries without a second thought.

The two of them undermine each other constantly when it comes to their chosen parenting practices. These are two strong-willed men with very stubborn personalities.

Raph says screw the schedule and lets the children stay up later or Leo steps in during Raph’s training sessions to take over because he can ‘do it’ better. Unfortunately, it ends with the two of them arguing it out and fighting in front of the children.

You, the matriarch of the family has to knock them down a couple pegs.

The two of them begrudgingly agree to a ‘truce’ because you are actually the logical one in this situation and point out the fact that they’re acting like children themselves and their behaviour is upsetting everyone. The one thing these two do agree on is having the kids feel safe and happy, so much so that they’ll swallow their pride and try to get along.

With more prompting you’ll get them to agree to split the fatherly responsibilities right down the middle.

They both are in agreement and things like bathtime, bedtime, meal times and playtime all get organized, you tackle the discipline issue with them as well.

You are quite clear that neither one of them are to undermine the other in terms of discipline and you all agree on one technique, firm but gentle.

Leo and Raph can manage to put their differences aside for the sake of their family and there will be rare moments where the two of them do get along.

Neither can resist their little ones asking if their ‘daddies’ can play dolls or cars or make-believe. Neither can say no to the innocent requests of their little ones.

You manage to snap some adorable photos. Raph wearing a feathered boa and a silly hat, and Leo with his pinky out sipping a tiny cup of ‘tea’. They both learn how to relax and actually be better parents and surprisingly nicer to each other as well.

Raph and Donnie (Magenta) ❤️💜

A bit of an odd pairing, but we’re doing it. Raph and Donnie would be a similar dynamic to Raph and Mikey except Donnie would be more on board for establishing a routine.

These two might butt heads over education. Donnie would be absolutely serious about making sure the children have a proper education.

Raph would be more lax about it, stating that it’s not a big deal, just teach them to read, that’s all they need, don’t they? He’d figure his children would be raised with just the minimum amount of knowledge like he and his brothers were.

Donnie would vehemently argue that their children deserve way more than just the bare minimum. He’ll get really heated over it, stating that the kids need more than just learning how to punch things.

You will have to step in at this point to calm them down and it might take a few discussions to get Donnie to relax a little and for Raph to embrace the idea that training their minds is just as important as training their bodies.

They can easily split responsibilities on that. Raph and Donnie embrace the idea that their kids will be smart and strong.

In the end, these two are great fathers in supporting their children in whatever they choose to do. They get along well and coexist rather peacefully together.

All Four (Fruit Salad) 💜❤️💙🧡

If you somehow manage a relationship with not one, not two but all four of the brothers, raising children with them will be an interesting affair.

At first you don’t discuss the matter, but after spending mating season with them and giving each one adequate time, you do wind up with a surprise pregnancy.

There’s no telling who the father is though until after the baby is born and all of you do agree to use DNA testing to determine the actual father.

The result does spark a discussion about future children and in the end you agree to give each remaining brother a mating season and a child. It takes a few years of spacing out the pregnancies but each of them will end up with a biological child by the end of it.

Parenting these children actually isn’t as difficult as you might think. It all comes back to the age-old saying: it takes a village to raise a child.

They are a team after all, and they all raise the children collectively as one.

All of them do take advice and pointers from you and try not to undermine each other.

It does take some planning, discussions about schedules and routines to get them all on the same page.

By the end of it the children have four caring, loving fathers who would do anything for their little ones. They all balance each other out quite well.

There’s Mikey’s fun, playful, affectionate nature, Leo’s calm, peaceful demeanor, Raph’s passionate, protective way of being and Donnie’s quiet softness. You get this and more with this type of family dynamic and you wouldn’t change it for the world.

Taglist

@danceingfae @thelaundrybitch @iridescentflamingo @redsrooftopprincess @ninnosaurus

@the-cauldron-witch @thepinkpanther83 @avery73 @adebauchedsloth @sophiacloud28

@definitely-canon @scholastic-dragon @truffle-reblogs @fyreball66 @yorshie

Please let me know if you'd like to be added to the taglist

[imaginespazzi]

Part 6: Leaps of Faith

Masterlist - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 7

I hope that you catch me, cause I'm already falling (you put your arms around me and I'm home)

(In which a writer who can see the end approaching starts building towards that ending)

Pairing: Paige Bueckers X Azzi Fudd

Themes: Angst and Fluff

Words: 8.0K

TW: Swearing, Alludes to Sexual Content

A/N: Good evening my lovelies <3. Happy Sunday and Happy Mothers day! First of all, I wanna thank y'all for being ever so patient with me. I know I've been pretty bad about updating lately and y'all have been so sweet with your asks and I really appreciate it. This fic is very close to its end. I probably could have ended it with this chapter but there's a very specific ending I want to write so this one is more of a self-indulgent filler but I think y'all will like this one. There will be one more chapter and then an epilogue of sorts. Once again, there are most likely logistical inaccuracies. I'm not even gonna lie, the editing on this one is shoddy so there are definitely grammar errors/typos. For now, ignore them and I'll go fix them later. As always, even if we're near the end, feel free let me know what you liked, what you didn't and anything you'd like to see before we get to the end. Have a wonderful week my angels <3

April 2024 

“It’s a little early for ice cream hon,” Azzi jumps at the sound of her mother’s voice, startled eyes following the direction of the noise to find Katie leaning against the kitchen door, with a raised eyebrow. 

“It’s a little early to scare the living bejesus out of me mom,” she says with a hand to her chest. 

If possible, Katie’s eyes roll even further at her daughter’s sarcastic tone as she makes her way over to the kitchen counter. She’s gotten herself a spoon and everything, ready to steal some ice cream for herself, when she notices the flavour. Next to her, Azzi stiffens. 

“You hate mint chocolate chip Az,” Katie says quietly. 

“I couldn’t find the strawberry ice cream,” Azzi defends stubbornly, her face taking on a guarded expression. 

Katie walks over to the freezer, opening it and pointing at the strawberry ice cream, Azzi’s favourite, that’s sitting in plain sight, “it’s right there.”

“Well,” Azzi splutters, “I’m trying something new,”. 

“You hate trying new things.”

“I’ve grown up I guess.”

“Azzi.”

“Mom.”

“Azzi, why are you eating ice cream you hate at 4 in the morning?” Katie finally asks in her best mom voice, sighing when she gets a mumbled response from her daughter, “in words Az, please.”

“Paige likes it,” Azzi admits slowly, and before Katie can say anything, before Azzi can dwell on what she’s said, she launches into a rant, “god knows why. Actually I know why because she’s stupid and weird and likes the dumbest shit. Who the fuck likes mint? Who the fuck likes mint and chocolate together? Gross. This shit is disgusting. It tastes all wrong. Paige is just-,” Azzi throws her hands up in the air, “she just doesn’t understand that some things don’t belong together. They can’t. They’re too different and it just- there’s a fucking balance to things you know? And she just- she doesn’t get that. It’s just- it’s not meant to be.”

“That doesn’t explain why you’re eating it right now,” Katie says carefully. 

“Because I miss her,” the truth bursts out of Azzi like an erupting volcano, burning itself into every crevice of her skin, “because for some fucking reason I don’t hate the taste of mint chocolate chip. Because maybe they do go together and maybe I’ve been the stupid one this whole time.”

Since she’d stepped out of the hotel in Cleveland, all Azzi could think about was going back, saying fuck it to all the useless logic she’d come up with and going back to the only thing in her life that had ever made sense her Paige. But as it often did in that clichéd battle between head and heart, her head had won out. And she’s never questioned why her head wins so much, why she’s always chosen to listen to the practical side of her brain, until now. Until now when the urge to turn back time, to make herself stay in that hotel room, is all that’s consumed her for the last week. 

“Azzi,” Katie wraps her arms around the younger girl, “what happened with you and Paige?”

Azzi hesitates for a second and then everything’s spilling out of her lips, the good, the bad, the inbetween, all of it tumbles out like an uncontrollable waterfall. There’s something freeing about being able to say it all out loud, something freeing about the tears Azzi finally lets roll down her cheeks. She grips the edge of the counter to keep herself from keeling over, starting to feel herself crumble under the heaviness of all these stupid feelings. 

“It shouldn’t be this hard,” Azzi whispers, “we used to be so easy.”

“Oh Az,” Katie rubs a thumb against her daughter’s cheek, “you used to be kids. You’re all grown up now. It’s always harder when you’re older.”

“Well, I don’t like it. I just want to be the way we were again.”

“So why don’t you?” Katie asks like it’s the most simple solution in the world and Azzi shoots her mother an exasperated look. 

“What do you mean? How do we even do that? We can’t be just friends again. We tried. Were you not listening at all?”

“Azzi, sweetheart, you’ve never been just friends.”

“That’s not true,” it’s a futile attempt at arguing against what’s become more of a fact than an opinion in Azzi’s life. It’s a truth she’d let herself acknowledge once and then buried deep within her, scared that once unleashed, it would ruin everything. Except, it turns out, even without it, things had still turned to dust.  

“Do you remember when you came home from Minnesota that first summer with Paige? You were either moping around or you were on call with her. There was no in between. It got better eventually, the moping stopped but the calls? I think you fell asleep on facetime with her almost every night. And you were tired every morning after, you barely had time to eat before school but every time I suggested that maybe you cut back, that was never an option,” Katie smiles fondly, “it’s when I knew.”

Azzi does remember, remembers talking about everything and nothing, remembers laughing and crying, remembers when Paige’s breathing was the only lullaby that could relax her into sleeping. And she remembers battling with that voice in her head, the one convinced there’s something more, silencing it with I’d do this with anyone. But that wasn’t true then and it’s not true now because Paige has never been just anyone, never been just a friend. Because even if Azzi’s never been brave enough to say it out loud, Paige is and has always been everything.

Despite knowing the answer and maybe dreading it just a little bit, Azzi asks it to her mom anyway, “what did you know?”

“That she was your person. You were too young, I couldn’t call it love just yet but I knew Paige was different then, she was yours in a way none of your other friends were. You were different around her,” Katie nudges her daughter, “Azzi you’ve always been just a little bit in love with her and she’s always been just a little bit in love with you too. The two of you have just been a matter of time.”

Azzi closes her eyes, and unlike other people, she doesn’t see darkness or little spots of light, she just sees Paige. Her mother’s words wash over her, like acid in her self-inflicted fight the feelings wounds and yet, the idea of she’s loved me too feels like a band-aid being delicately placed on the scars of her heart. 

“And place,” she whispers, eyes still closed, “we never seem to get time and place right.”

“Why do you need to?”

Another exasperated look is sent Katie’s way at that question, “we live on different sides of the country mom, what do you mean why do we need to?”

“I mean the two of you have barely ever been in the same place. But you made it work, when you had even less, when you felt even less. But you’re adults now. You have other resources now. And I know timing is difficult but- it’s you and Paige. What are you so scared of Azzi?”

Azzi sucks in a deep breath, “what if Paige runs away again?”

“What if you run away again?”

“Excuse me?” 

“Who was the last person to walk away, Azzi?,” Katie sighs when Azzi is adamantly silent, “I know she hurt you by leaving. I know she hurt you by pushing you away. But you did the same thing. You chose UCLA,” Katie holds up a hand when a frustrated Azzi tries to interrupt, “and it was the right decision for you Azzi and she should have supported it. But that doesn’t meant you didn’t hurt her and then you chose Zoe-”

“I didn’t choose Zoe-”

“Yes you did Azzi. Sweetheart you’re my daughter and I will always tell you the complete truth even if it’s not what you wanna hear. And the truth Azzi is that Paige might have hurt you in 101 different ways but that doesn’t mean you didn’t hurt her back in 99 different ways too.”

“You think I don’t know that?” Azzi whispers, “that’s the problem mom. It hurts when she hurts me but it hurts even more when I hurt her. I don’t want that for us but I just- I just don’t know how to stop it without stopping us.”

“You haven’t even tried, baby. Paige held out a hand and you ran away.”

“She left first. How am I supposed to trust that she won’t just do that again," all that’s missing from Azzi’s stubborn whine is a foot stomp.

“Because she came back. It took her a little bit, I know, but she came back and she’s ready to fight, the question is, are you?”

“Why are you defending her?” Azzi splutters, “who’s side are you even on?”

“There are no sides to this sweetheart. The two of you are on the same side. So maybe instead of fighting against her, take that hand, fight with her.”

***

The WNBA draft is a momentous occasion this year. With a hyped draft class like no other, and the promise of even greater ones in the future, there’s a sense of celebratory hope dangling in the air. When the invite had first come in, Azzi had known the same one would be sent to a certain blonde in Connecticut as well. And a part of her had wanted to hide herself away from that possible collision, but every other part of her wanted nothing more than to get just a glimpse of the blonde.

One moment Azzi is surrounded by flashing cameras and the echo of her name on everyone’s lips, the next everything around her is fading away her eyes meet Paige’s on the other end of the WNBA draft orange carpet. It’s nothing new really. Since she’s met her, the blonde has commandeered all of Azzi’s attention whenever she’s nearby. Sometimes it feels like all of her other five senses fade away to give birth to a secret sixth one, one that’s solely dedicated to Paige, one that’s terrifyingly all-consuming. And yet, despite the heaviness of we’ve said too many goodbyes, for the first time in what feels like eternity, Azzi feels like she can finally breathe. 

And then Paige looks away. 

And Azzi’s back to struggling for air. 

It’s selfish of her, she knows, to expect something, not when she’d been the one to leave them stranded on different islands. But Azzi doesn’t seem to think logically when it comes to Paige and even as she tries to turn her focus back to posing for the camera, every inch of her body is dangerously aware of the blonde’s every move, just a mere few feet away from her. Her conversation with her mother is echoing in her head, giving rise to dangerous desires of what if i grabbed your hand and we ran away together. 

Paige is a natural on the orange carpet, all dazzling smiles and twinkling eyes. She glides through it, inching closer and closer to Azzi, but never giving away any sense of discomfort. And if it was anybody else, maybe they’d never catch onto the nerves hidden beneath Paige’s facade of calm, cool and collected. But once upon a time Paige used to be Azzi’s favourite puzzle and she has every part of the blonde committed to memory. It’s in the way Paige’s teeth gnaw at her lips for the briefest of seconds, in the way her right index finger is begging to tap a beat against where her hands rests on hips, in the way she’s blinking just one too many times. 

And then with one more heavy footed step from Paige, the distance between them is barely a couple inches and they let out identical breaths of air, both of them keeping their focus on the cameras in front of them. It’s loud, too loud, and still all Azzi can focus on is the sound of Paige breathing. The air around them is thick with tension. It feels a bit like they’re silhouetted against a sky made of words they’ve left unsaid and clouds of all the bitter mistakes they’ve made are hanging over their heads. And when their pinkies brush together, and a jolt of electricity sends shivers of I miss you more every day again her skin, Azzi questions if she’s ever made the right decision when it comes to Paige. 

“Wait wait wait,” Ari cuts in, as she squeezes herself in between the two of them, “I wanna get in between the two of you.”

A harsh cry of no sits heavily on the top of Azzi’s tongue as the older woman forces a break in whatever little bit of contact she’d had with Paige. She feels a little pathetic, the way every little inch of her skin is craving for that touch back. It had been nothing, a barely there moment and still Azzi thinks, when she goes to bed tonight, if that was all she’d get of Paige, then it’ll be the only thing that’ll feature in her dreams. 

“Alright one with just Paige and Azzi,” Ari directs the media, stepping out of the way and pushing the two younger girls together. And it’s laughable that a little brush of their pinkies had Azzi feeling any type of way because when they’re suddenly pressed together, every inch of Paige’s side fitting into Azzi’s like it belongs, the way the world suddenly bursts with light and colours makes Azzi wonder if every moment without Paige has simply been monochrome. 

It comes to them naturally how to pose together, arms winding around each other’s waist, heads involuntarily leaning against the other’s. And the smiles might be for the cameras but Azzi knows hers is the most real it’s been all night. It might be temporary, she might lose Paige in the chaos, but for now Paige is here and Azzi has learned how to be content with whatever little she can get. 

As the media moves to capture other people, the logical thing to do would be to separate, to let go of each other. But instead they stand there, still completely wrapped around each other, heart rates in sync as they breathe in each other’s presence. And then Paige’s hand falls from the small of Azzi’s back to tangle their fingers together and they let out identical sighs of relief, something so cathartic in the purposefulness of that touch. Everyone is too busy to notice that the two of them have fallen into a whole other world, one where there’s only two of them and every emotion that they’ve only reserved for the other. There’s no words exchanged as Paige guides the two of them out of the spotlight, somehow keeping their hands clasped together in secret, despite the ever growing crowd. And Azzi doesn’t know this building at all, doesn’t have the faintest clue where she’s being led to, but as long as it’s Paige pulling her along, she doesn’t care where, she thinks she’d go anywhere. 

Paige stops abruptly in a secluded corridor, turning to fully face Azzi. And the sincerity in the blonde’s crystalline blue eyes, as they roam every inch of Azzi’s body before coming to fixate on her face, steals the air away from Azzi’s lungs. Paige has gotten better over the years at building walls, but with every new lock she places on her emotions, there’s a key to open them that seems to always find its way to Azzi. In the delicate golden hue, Paige shines brighter than any star ever could and in the dim light Azzi can make out every bit of hurt and love and please can we just have this moment that Paige can’t put into words. 

“Hi,” Azzi whispers softly, hands itching to reach out and caress Paige’s skin. 

“Hi,” Paige says back, even quieter. She stares at Azzi as if she’s memorising every little detail and then her face crumbles. Azzi feels her heart drop at the single tear that trickles down Paige’s cheek as she lets out a broken whimper. And this, this unspoken power they seem to have over each other, the uncanny ability to just hurt each other without any bit of effort, is what scares Azzi the most. It’s too much. They shouldn’t be able to do this. 

“Paige,” Azzi’s fingers twitch but she hesitates, not knowing if it’s the right thing, “fuck- P what’s wrong?”

Paige doesn’t reply, eyes wandering down to where Azzi’s trying to keep her hands still against her sides and when she looks back up, her eyes are bloodshot, “what’s wrong? What’s not wrong Azzi? You won’t even fucking touch me.”

“I didn’t-” Azzi struggles to speak, “I didn’t think you’d want me to.”

“Can you just- fuck- can you just stop overthinking things for once in your life. Of course I want you to touch- you know what nevermind. This was a bad idea. You made yourself clear and I’m just- fuck- I should- I should just go.”

She sounds adamant enough but all it takes, when Paige moves to leave, is the strangled cry that leaves Azzi’s lips. The sound is enough to pull Paige right back in. She takes one look at the tears brimming in Azzi’s eyes. And then she’s pushing Azzi against a wall, hands on either side caging the younger girl between her body and the hard surface behind. She presses their foreheads together and Azzi feels like every part of her might just be a part of Paige too. 

“I miss you. I miss you so fucking much. It’s barely been two weeks and I- fuck- Azzi- I’ve missed you every single second and now you’re here and I still miss you. And it really fucking hurts.”

“I’m sorry,” Azzi whispers, finally letting her hands cup Paige’s cheeks, and it’s worth it for the way Paige seems to completely melt into her touch, “I’m sorry I keep hurting you. I keep thinking I’m doing the right thing but- I don’t know- I feel like I’m always doing the wrong thing when it comes to you. I don’t- I don’t know what to do.”

“Just let me be with you,” Paige’s voice is wrecked with desperation as she presses herself as close to Azzi as possible, “I’ll be your whatever- whatever you give me- whatever you want- I just- I just want you Az- whatever little bit you’re willing to give me- I’ll take it- and if you want me to wait- fuck Azzi- I’d wait forever- you know that right? However long it takes, baby. Just want you- just want us.”

Leaps of faith are scary. Azzi’s never been great at taking them, too cautious, too much of a worrier. She’s more of a step back from the cliff kind of person. If she doesn’t jump, she can’t fall. But here’s the thing, when she was fourteen, Azzi jumped off of her first hypothetical cliff. It had been on a plane, when after avoiding one too many deep questions, Azzi had admitted to a girl she barely knew,that maybe she could like girls. It was the first time she’d ever let herself acknowledge that truth about herself and the girl next to her was a stranger but there was something about her, something that screamed i’ll hold your hand and if you jump it’ll never be alone. And ever since then, that girl, Paige, has always been there. Hands outstretched, ready to jump off any ledge. Because if there’s hard ground underneath, then they’ll learn how to fly together and if there’s water, they’ll figure out how to swim. With Paige there has always been the promise that, whatever it is, they’ll figure it out together. And it’s with that promise in mind, that Azzi takes the leap of faith. 

“Me too,” Azzi whispers, heart beating erratically. 

“What?” Paige searches Azzi’s face, as if waiting for her to take it back. 

“Us. You. You and me. I want that too,” a ghost of a smile begins to creep onto Azzi’s face, and for the first time in god knows how long, she feels feather light, a little bit like she’s floating on a rainbow. 

“You mean it?” Paige asks earnestly, hands moving from the wall to clutch at Azzi’s waist, “don’t play-Azzi- okay- you mean it for real?”

“I do. I want this- I want this so much and I’m still- I’m still really scared and maybe it’ll be a disaster but I- I want to try. With you.”

Azzi used to think she knew all of Paige’s smiles. Her small, not quite fake, but only for cameras and people she didn’t quite know, smiles. Her just for my friends smile that was filled with mirth and childlike joy. Her basketball smile that transformed into a smirk when she got too cocky. Her only for Drew smile, soft and filled with so much adoration and pride. Her Azzi smile, the one only the brown-skinned girl gets to experience, a smile that made Azzi’s her heart swell with love. But the smile that stretches across Paige’s face now, is one Azzi’s never seen before. This one throws Azzi’s entire world of balance, so bright, so big, so full of emotions. If she could, she’d tattoo that smile onto her skin forever. 

“We’re really doing this?” Paige asks, still a little stunned. It wasn’t what Azzi had planned for tonight. She hadn’t really had any plans for what would really happen. But then Paige had walked in and all Azzi could see was forever she was tired of fighting against. 

“We should take it slow okay-” Azzi wraps her arms around the older girl’s neck, keeping their foreheads still against each other’s, “I don’t- I don’t wanna rush into things and fuck it up. I can’t- fuck- I can’t lose y-”

“You won’t,” Paige swears, squeezing at Azzi’s wait, “I won’t let you. We can take it slow. We can take it however you want- I just- we’re doing this?”

“Yeah,” Azzi can’t help the grin that fills up her entire face, “yeah we’re doing this.”

And as they surge forward to claim each other’s lips, and as they meld every inch of themselves into each other, and as they smile and cry into the kiss simultaneously, and as they etch promises into each other skin, and as they let themselves finally fall into each other, for each other, it feels a lot like coming home. 

***

July 2024 

The early morning sunlight casts a dark shadow across Paige’s face, causing the still asleep blonde to scrunch up her face in irritation. Azzi, who’s been awake for nearly half an hour now, can’t help the fond smile that creeps onto her own lips. She shifts herself to block the sun and Paige lets out a content sigh, burrowing herself further into her pillows. And the thing is every moment with Paige is special but there’s something about waking up to her in the morning. Azzi’s always awake first and it gives her ample time to just admire the girl in her arms, blond hair tousled all over her pillow, lips parted slightly open, and one arm always, always, splayed across Azzi’s torso, holding her close. Over the course of time, Azzi’s found out that the second she moves, Paige seems to feel her leave, waking up instantly. 

There had been an adjustment period if Azzi's honest. It had taken her a while to shake that fear of Paige not being there in the morning. The first morning, she’d been scared to open her eyes, even if she could feel Paige’s presence right next to her. That had been one of the few mornings that Paige was fully awake first, hovering above Azzi to wake her up. And when she finally did get the courage to open her eyes, the first thing Azzi had seen was Paige, blue eyes sparkling with unfiltered adoration, a smile filled with promises of every morning just like this. And that had been enough. 

Azzi reaches out to brush a hand through Paige’s soft blond hair, mesmerised by how pretty Paige looks in the morning glow. A lot of Paige belongs to the world now and Azzi’s not opposed to sharing really, because someone so fucking perfect, deserves to be celebrated like that. But there are some parts of Paige that belong to Azzi and Azzi only, some parts Azzi cherishes as being only hers. This is one of them and Azzi takes a snapshot of it, knowing she’ll need it to function in a few months, when she won’t get the real thing. 

“Are you watching Paige sleep?” Azzi almost jumps at the sound of Drew’s voice at the doorway, having been too immersed in Paige to have even heard the door open, “that’s kinda creepy Azzi.”

“Jesus Drew, whatever happened to knocking?”

“I forgot?” Drew grins, before he plops on the bed, the force of it making the whole frame shake a little bit. 

“Drew!” Azzi chides, “you’re gonna wake her up.”

Drew cocks his eyebrows, sparing his sister, who seems unphased by the sudden little bit of chaos around her, still fast asleep, an unimpressive look, “please she can sleep through anything. Besides, it’s already 9. I thought we were gonna do things. I been up for aaaages.”

“She’ll be awake soon,” Azzi smiles, ruffling the younger boy's hair. Drew rolls his eyes and it’s remarkable how much he resembles Paige, not just by face, but the mannerisms too. 

He huffs for a second before his eyes sparkle with an idea, “what if we pour water on her!”

“Drew!” Azzi chastises again, trying not to giggle. 

“Boo,” Drew crosses his arms across his chest, “you used to be so cool Azzi.”

Azzi laughs as she’s reminded of a younger version of herself, scheming with Drew on how to wake Paige up. And it’s not that she’s beyond that really, tucking the water idea for a rainy day, but Paige looks too peaceful this morning and she wants to preserve that look of serenity on the older girl’s face for just a little bit longer. 

“Hey Azzi,” Drew says after a while and Azzi hums in response, “when you and Paige get married, I can still be a groomsman right? Even if there’s no grooms?”

“Wha- where did that come from?” the brunette’s eyes widened at the question, sitting up a little straighter. 

Drew peers up at her with all the innocence of a pre-teen, “you are gonna get married right?”

“I don’t-”

“It’s too early for your yapping Drew,” Azzi’s saved from answering by Paige’s tired voice entering the conversation. She looks over to find Paige’s eyes already on her, a soft smile playing on her lips as she looks up at Azzi. If Drew wasn’t sitting right there, Azzi would lean over and kiss her and let Paige deepen it until they were both satisfied. 

“Oh thank god,” Drew cheers dramatically, “I thought you were gonna sleep forever.”

Paige scoffs, the arm that’s still wrapped around Azzi’s torso tightening its hold, “I wish.”

“Well you’re awake now so get up,” Drew whines, moving from his spot on the end of the bed, to flop on top of Paige’s body instead, “get up, get up, GET UP.”

“Get off,” Paige groans but there’s no real force behind it. Azzi watches with a fond smile, as Paige flips Drew over so that she can tickle him, eliciting rounds of laughter from the younger boy. Something in her heart flutters, her mind going back to Drew’s question. She’s never really been one to think too hard about marriage and children and that domestic suburban life, leaving it up to fate, but now- well, maybe. 

“Okay aight aight enough. Go get ready for breakfast and we’ll be down in a second,” Paige says, ushering Drew off of the bed. 

“You can just tell me you want me to leave so you can kiss Azzi you know?” Drew scrunches up his nose, “you two are gross.”

Paige sends him a stern look and gets a dramatic eye roll in return but as he always does, Drew does as he’s told, mock saluting the two of them and skipping out of the room. 

“He’s right by the way,” Paige says softly, turning back to where Azzi’s leaning against the backboard, “I do want to kiss you.”

Azzi smirks lopsidedly, “what’s stopping you?”

She squeals in surprise when Paige pulls her, the force of it causing both of them to tumble onto the front-end of the bed. Azzi ends up on top of Paige, hands resting around her neck, the blonde’s hands holding her waist in place. 

“Good morning,” Paige grins, clearly proud of herself as she chases Azzi’s lips to pull her into a searing kiss.

“Good morning,” Azzi whispers back, thumb caressing Paige’s left cheek.  

“Just so you know,” Paige pulls away, a determined glint in her eyes, “we’re so getting married one day.”

***

October 2024

Azzi’s mood has been rancid for the last couple of weeks. It’s terrible she knows; it makes her irritating to play with and a nightmare to live with. But even if this had been expected, that she would be on one end of the country and her heart would be on the other side, it doesn’t stop her from constantly being in a state of missing Paige. And it’s different from before, now that there’s a certain surety of of course i’ll see you soon but soon never really feels soon enough. 

“Azzi can you please get the door,” Kiki calls from her room when the doorbell rings. 

“I’m busy,” Azzi grunts back, snuggling further into her pillow with a book she isn’t actually reading, “you go get it.”

“Azzi please, I’m literally in the middle of getting dressed,” Kiki yells exasperatedly. 

If it wasn’t for the fact that she’s pretty sure her teammates are about this close to plotting her murder, and deservedly so, Azzi would sink back onto her bed and let the incessant doorbell noise continue. But she does love her teammates, thinks Kiki probably deserves to change in peace, and it forces her out of bed, grumbling away about annoying visitors. Until she actually gets a look at the visitor. Paige stands on the doorstep, confident as ever, a bouquet of roses and peonies and lilies in her hand. 

“You’re here,” Azzi breathes out, staring in awe. 

“And thank fucking god she is,” Kiki quips from behind her, “maybe we can finally get our old happy Azzi back and not this bitch.”

Paige laughs, “watch how you talk about my girl Rice.”

“You’re here. You’re really here,” Azzi whispers again. 

“I heard you missed me baby,” Paige says, her cocky smirk betrayed by the softness in her voice. And then Azzi is flying into her arms, throwing Paige off balance. 

“So fucking much,” Azzi admits into Paige’s neck, eliciting a giggle from the blonde, “Kiki’s right. I have been a bitch.”

“Just a little bit,” Kiki calls out again but there’s a new fondness in her voice. It’s funny how her team, even the haters, have slowly become Paige fans. They’d been hesitant at first, just like the UConn girls, but now well, it seems the basketball world’s Montagues and Capulets have learned to accept their star players’ relationship. 

“Missed you too Az,” Paige’s tone is vulnerable as they break away, “alright, go get changed, I wanna take you somewhere.”

“Or…,” Azzi presses her lips to Paige’s neck, leaving a trail of open-mouthed kisses, “we could stay here and do something else.”

Paige shivers under her touch, stepping away to keep some semblance of control “n-no I have plans,” but she can’t help but kiss Azzi’s pout away, “it’ll be worth it, I promise. Besides,” she bites at Azzi’s ear, “there’s always later.”

***

“Your big plans are to bring me to the supermarket,” Azzi cocks an eyebrow as they walk down one of the many aisles, “you turned down sex for this? Should I be offended?”

Paige doesn’t say anything, concentratedly looking at signs, trying to figure out a specific section, before an aha! moment dances over her face, and she pulls Azzi with her, the younger girl going willingly, despite the eye roll. She stops triumphantly in front of the sushi section and Azzi looks at her quizzically. 

“I’m getting you supermarket sushi,” Paige says pointedly, “and then you can get me mac and cheese.”

And if you brought me sushi I’d have brought you your favourite mac and cheese. Oh. The realisation of what Paige is doing trickles around Azzi a little bit like rain after a long summer drought. She thinks back to the bouquet, everything suddenly making sense.

“You’re such a dork Paige Bueckers,” Azzi says softly, tapping the older girl’s nose. 

“Your dork,” Paige grins cheesily, “now hurry up and pick one. I don’t wanna miss the sunset.”

***

Once she catches on it, it doesn’t surprise Azzi to find that Paige has everything planned out perfectly, down to the exact spot in the park- the one by Paige’s recovery airBnB, the one they’d taken countless walks in trying to repair their friendship- where the two of them can be away from everybody else, in their own little bubble. And she has a picnic blanket, that’s a little small but they don’t really want space from each other anyways. They lean against a tree, food set up in front of them, Paige’s laptop, carefully piled on top of a couple of books to be the perfect height, set a little bit further away. 

“So what NBA game are we watching?” Azzi asks with a smile and Paige groans, “what? Was that not part of the plan?”

“Dude come on. It’s the beginning of October. Please tell me you know the NBA season isn’t happening yet,” Paige rubs her temple, only a little endeared by the comment, “are you sure you’re a basketball player?” 

“There are games in October. I swear I’ve seen them before,” Azzi says sceptically. 

“Yeah at the very end of the month, not right now.”

“Well then close enough,” Azzi says indignantly, “I don’t need to know the exact day.”

“Whatever you say baby,” Paige acquiesces with a smirk and it earns her an elbow to the stomach, “what the fuck? That shit’s domestic violence you know?”

“Big words Bueckers, didn’t think you knew them,” Azzi teases, placing a kiss against Paige’s offended expression, before settling herself against the blonde’s side, sighing contentedly when she gets a kiss on her temple in return. They’re cliché enough to put on Love and Basketball, but Azzi doesn’t really end up watching much at all. In between slow kisses, she almost falls asleep a couple of times, the comfort of Paige’s arms like a blanket wrapping her in the warmth of this is my fairytale. 

“THE POLAROID,” Paige’s shout breaks Azzi out of her haze as she feels her body being shaken off, the blonde rummaging through her bag for the camera, “we have to take the polaroid. My wall needs it.”

“Oh yeah a tiny polaroid picture of us inbetween all your Lebron posters, a perfect fit,” Azzi drawls only to be met with a scathing look from Paige. 

“It’s for important things and Lebron is the most important of them all,” Paige explains with complete seriousness, as she finally finds the polaroid camera and shimmies back to Azzi with it in hand. 

The sunset is beautiful. Pink, purple, orange and blue, all blending together to create the perfect picture. But Azzi thinks it’s not nearly as beautiful as the girl in front of her, not nearly as beautiful as the date Paige had planned, not nearly as beautiful as the future she can so clearly see now. Her mind drifts back to the night of the phone call, and she can almost hear Paige’s sobs again, can still hear her own voice breaking. Back then, they had seemed impossible, a butterfly like dream that danced out of their grasp. 

“Hey,” Paige captures her chin with two fingers, “where’d you go?”

Azzi shakes her head, “nowhere. I’m right here. With you. Where I should be.”

“Sappy goof,” Paige snorts but she kisses Azzi like she’ll take those words and hide them in the labyrinth of her mind, protect them there forever. 

Taking the picture is a task, both of them bickering about angles and lights. It’s unnecessary arguing, in true Paige and Azzi fashion really but there’s something so mundanely domestic about it that Azzi finds herself wanting to memorise this moment too. They finally get the frame just right, somewhere in between what they both wanted. Azzi smiles at the camera, her Paige smile, as the blonde in question presses her lips against her cheeks. 

Click. 

And Azzi hopes, that however many years later, when they have a home of their own, amidst all the photos that they’ll take over the next years, this one will be hung somewhere on their wall, a testament to finally realising every dream they’d dared to dream together. 

***

December 2024 

There are pebbles being thrown at her window and Azzi has to stop herself from laughing when she peers down to see Paige, freezing cold in the Virginia December air, staring up at her with a goofy smile. She shakes her head when her phone rings, knowing it’s Paige and answers it with her own foolish grin. 

“What exactly are you doing?” Azzi asks, “come back to bed.”

“You said I was unromantic. I’m trying to be romantic,” Paige’s teeth chatter in the cold, as she balances her phone in one hand, still throwing rocks with the other. 

“I didn’t say that and throwing rocks at my window is supposed to be romantic? You’re going to wake the whole house up.”

“That’s what they do in all the good rom coms. And you said and I quote ‘we’re kind of boring’. You might be boring Azzi Fudd but I most definitely am not.”

It had been a throwaway comment Azzi had made at dinner with some friends from high school. One of her friends had been going on and on about some adventurous trip that she and her boyfriend were going on, and then asked Paige and Azzi if they had any of that planned. To which Azzi had replied that they were a little too busy, considering they were college basketball players still in season, and besides they were “kind of boring” people. She hadn’t meant it in any type of way. Personally, Azzi likes boring. Paige however, seemed to have taken the comment to heart and Azzi had woken up at 2 a.m. to an empty bed and the sound of something being thrown at her window. 

“Okay I’m sorry. I’m sorry. You're really interesting baby and the most romantic person in the world. Now will you please come back to bed,” Azzi concedes, already missing the feeling of being cuddled up in her blankets with Paige’s body heat keeping her nice and toasty. 

“No,” Paige says indignantly, “come down here.”

“Paige, it's freezing. It’s gonna start snowing any minute.”

“Exactly. That’s exciting.”

“Sleep is exciting,” Azzi whines, but she’s already padding around her room looking for a warm sweater, grumbling under her breath about the warm California sun she’s missing. She tiptoes down the staircase, wincing at the one step that creaks just a little too much, before pushing herself out the door. And it’s freezing cold, there’s sleep in her eyes, but it’s all worth it Azzi thinks, it’ll always be worth it, just to experience Paige’s smile. 

“Knew you’d come,” Paige grins cockily, mittened hands pulling Azzi into her.

“Yeah yeah. What are we even doing?”

“Azzi Fudd,” Paige bellows dramatically, “may I have this dance.”

Azzi stares at Paige’s outstretched hand wondering if this is some sort of cry for help, but one look at Paige’s face tells her that the girl in front of her is being absolutely serious. 

“This is your idea of exciting? Dancing in the street while it’s freezing with no music?” Azzi raises an eyebrow, but she takes Paige’s hand. 

“It’s spontaneous,” Paige says the last word with a flourish, as she spins Azzi, “why not dance in the street when it’s freezing with no music?”

And well, that’s a fair point. If anyone were to look out their window that night, they’d probably think the two girls were somewhat crazy. Laughing and giggling and tripping over each other as Paige hums a melody and Azzi occasionally joins in. It’s ridiculous and corny and cliché and perfect. And then the first little bit of snow falls, white drops circling around the two dancing girls, snowflakes catching on their eyelashes. The dim glow of the streetlight is enough to catch identical smiles on the two girl’s faces as they revel in each other. 

“You know some people say if you make a wish during the first snowfall, it’ll come true,” Paige whispers, still waltzing the two of them around, cheek pressed to Azzi’s, “you wanna try?”

And the thing is Azzi doesn’t really believe in all of that, in magic but something about Paige, something about this moment feels magical. It makes a believer out of Azzi. 

“Yeah,” Azzi smiles, “let’s make a wish.”

They stand still, holding hands, eyes closed, both a little breathless, as they make their wishes. And when they open them, if it feels a little bit like maybe their wishes have already been granted, well they’ll share it in a secret smile but never out loud. After all, wishes don’t come true if you speak of them. 

***

April 2025

7 seconds to go in the National Championship and Azzi’s UCLA Bruins are down by two points. It’s her last chance, having already declared for the 2025 WNBA draft, to win a national championship, to bring home their first basketball national championship since the 1978 team that had won the AIAW championship, to win their first NCAA championship ever. It had taken some sheer luck to get to this point if Azzi’s honest. As a two-seed in the Spokane region, they’d benefitted from their one-seed having been eliminated early and then getting to face a Cinderella six-seed in the final four. On the other side of the bracket, UConn, the favourites coming for a repeat, had been stunned by another team, the team that UCLA was now facing. That had caused a bit of a second-hand sting and Azzi’s not really trying to take revenge for Paige, but it'd be a lie to say the get back at them for me babe from earlier this morning isn’t ringing in her head. 

The play is simple, set screens for Azzi, get her open, get her the ball. A two would get them to a tie and three would win it outright. Either will do. It’s a little too reminiscent of last year when Azzi had failed at tying the final 4 game and she can still feel that loss on the tips of her fingers. They break out from their last timeout, breathlessly running to their spots on the floor. The whistle blows, Kiki inbounds the ball and everything is a blur. All Azzi knows is the shot clock is winding down. She runs off of what feels like a million screens. And then she’s open on the wing, for a millisecond. A perfect pass from Kiki makes sure the ball lands straight in Azzi’s hand. And she doesn’t think, doesn’t breathe, doesn’t even notice the defender put up a hand, she shoots the ball. There’s two people on the court that know for sure that ball is going in the minute it leaves Azzi’s fingers, the shooter herself and her biggest fan in the stands, who’s been just a little bit in love with that shooting stroke, since before anything else had even begun. 

With a delicate swish, the ball falls through the net, the buzzer sounds around the arena, the crowd explodes in blue and gold, as the UCLA Bruins win the 2025 national championship. 

Everything stills in Azzi’s brain for a second, her thoughts taking a second to catch up to reality. She’s never really been one to emotion on the court, keeping herself steely guarded through most games, even at the very end. But now, triumph and pride and just utter happiness at finally achieving one of her biggest dreams, comes roaring to the surface, manifesting itself throughout her entire body, as she lets out a scream of joy. Her teammates engulf her and she gets lost in a sea of hugs and tears and bright, decadent smiles. 

As thing start to calm down, there’s really only one thing on Azzi’s mind and Paige’s words echo in her ears, because if I’m gonna end up fucking crying, then I want it to be on your shoulder. And if I’m gonna end up celebrating, I want it to be in your arms. And Azzi thinks maybe Paige had discovered one of the biggest truths of their life with that, the truth that at the end of day, in any moment, big or small, happy or sad, the one person Azzi wants next to her, is her Paige. It’s been that way since she was fourteen, and too young to really understand the meaning of wanting someone forever, and she thinks if she has her way, it’ll be like that for the rest of her life, the rest of their life. 

Paige is beaming in the crowd, standing next to Jon and José, a #35 jersey proudly adorning her torso. She waves when she catches Azzi’s eyes, always her biggest cheerleader. And Azzi throws caution to the wind, fuck it, not caring that there’s still a large crowd or that cameras are likely to follow her every move. She pushes her way into the stands, stopping right in front of the blonde. 

“On a scale of one to ten, how bad would kissing you right now be?” Azzi asks, still a little breathless. 

A myriad of emotions flicker through Paige’s face before settling on a mischievous smirk, “probably pretty bad but you should do it anyways.”

Azzi grins before merging their lips together and everything else fades to the background, until she’s consumed by nothing but Paige. They break apart far quicker than either of them would like and Azzi expects to feel just a little bit of fear at what she’s just done, likely given the media a spectacle they could run a million and one stories about but instead, with her forehead still pressed against Paige’s, she feels nothing but calm. 

“I’m so in love with you,” Azzi whispers and Paige’s eyes widen. They’ve known it for a while now but it’s the first time either of them have said it. 

“Say it again,” Paige demands. 

“I’m so in love with you,” Azzi says again, grinning so hard, she thinks it might become her permanent expression, “like really fucking in love with you.”

“I’m so in love with you,” Paige whispers, pulling Azzi into a bone-crushing hug. 

And this might not be the moment where everything finally comes together. There’s still so much life left to live, so much that they still need to work through, so much they’ve yet to deal with. But for now, Azzi has a national championship and she has the love of her life, the rest will work itself out, or so she hopes.

[kdinjenzen]

Damn feels like this entire thing is a lose lose situation. Depending on what the patents being sued over are it's like, Nintendo wins and eastablishes that large companies can sue over games using similar mechanics OR Nintendo loses and now we have a precedent that a smaller company can just steal the patents of someone else, which means larger companies can do it.

Feels like no matter what smaller creators just get one more thing to worry about, even without knowing what the specific patent is. Nintendo might not be in the habit of enforcing it on other creature catching games but like, what about other places?

Sorry if this is too long and rambly I just sorta keep working into circles in my head and on top of all this ai stuff getting pushed everywhere it's really depressing as someone who wants to make my own games someday

No it legitimately is not lose lose.

Suing someone for using/stealing something you made without paying you is a very normal thing.

You want those things to exist because it protects small creators and inventors too.

Nintendo choosing one particular target for violations does not mean that everyone else will be hit, Nintendo gets to pick and choose because that’s how patent law works.

They are not forced by law to the enforce these same things on anyone else who has used them before.

PocketPair SPECIFICALLY did a bunch of shit to antagonize and force Nintendo’s hand on this.

Nintendo legitimately does not give two fucks about creature catching games. They don’t care. That’s not what this is about. In fact we DONT EVEN KNOW what parents PocketPair infringed upon yet, everyone is just ASSUMING it has to do with one thing or another.

Y’all gotta stop making random guesses and start asking next logical step questions. The full info on the lawsuit will come out sooner rather than later, so just be patient for THAT PART later.

Also Nintendo has helped other monster catching games launch on their platforms and even partnered with Capcom to have two from them be console exclusives for a LONG TIME until the remasters for those games dropped on multi platform later on. Nintendo also happily features indie game companies who have and continue to make monster catching games alongside their Nintendo Directs/Indie Directs.

Don’t miss the forest for the trees on this lawsuit. PocketPair was the group that picked this fight, Nintendo is just choosing how they want to end it. Which is well within the rights of a patent holder to do, be they a huge company, a small company, or a singular person.

[luceafarul-de-dimineata]

I'm curious, what if mc in the shipper au is polyamorous and dates multiple or perhaps all of the kings, what then?

I'll be including Asmodeus as one of the kings MC starts dating because I want to write for Dantalian as well.

Whb shippers reacting to a poly!Mc dating all the kings

Well, you're dating Satan, so Paimon doesn't complain that much. Would probably still bicker with some of the more active shippers about which king you like most, but he'll be chiller in the forums. He continues his usual fan-fic writing and edit making maybe throwing in some photos of you and another king so he doesn't get pilled on by the other shippers.

Eligos takes a hit when he hears that but he learns to accept it. This is... good, from his point of view. Mammon loves seeing you being greedy for lovers and Eligos likes seeing Mammon happy, it's a win win situation. After all, everyone in hell belongs to Mammon, so you're basicly just playing with some toys that belong to you. Eligos is of the opinion that you're only trully dating Mammon and the other kings are side-dishes, so he let's it happen.

Foras cries. He just cries. He's absolutely godsmaked as to how you could possibly convince Leviathan to let you date other people. On one hand, he's happy that you consider his majesty your lover. On the other hand, how dare you go out and show your affection to other's. He tries to keep you in Hades as much as possible, right next to Leviathan's side, and he'll only stop when either you or Leviathan tell him to. Stops doxxing people for a month since he's too sad to open the forums.

Glasylabolas is sad, but for other reasons. How is he supposed to start drama when it's public information that you're dating all the kings?! He tries to argue with people about which king you love best, but he only gets responses from try hards (Gamigin) which is less fun than having all the forums in chaos. Plus, Gamigin never leaves Paradise Lost and he was doxxed ages ago, so he no longer has where to show off his hacker powers.

You better hope that Beelzebub set Amon down and explained what polyamory is because the moment he finds out that His Majesty Beelzebub's s/o is being stolen by the other kings, he sees red. The one law that seperates Avisos from Abaddon is that you're not to steal someone's lover, which is how Amon percieves this whole ordeal. At one point you were on a peaceful date with Mammon and you see Amon making a beeline to you. He was ready to shoot Mammon (as if one bullet could kill him) but you had to throughly explain to him the concept of polyamory.

Amon: So it's like an orgy... but romantic?

Mammon: Sometimes it's just an orgy

Mc: Mammon! But yeah, that's kind of it.

Will leave you alone from that point onward. He has no interest in destroying a happy law-abiding relationship.

Dantalian is also sad that he no longer has anyone to fight with in the forums. But he has a lot of fun going "I told you" on every post he made about how a poly relationship is the only logical step for the relationship between you and the kings. Him and the whole Abaddon crew would ask if they can join in the bedroom fun and 9/10 Asmodeus even encourages them. Whether you like it or not, dating Asmodeus was always the gate way drug to being into polyamory.

Gamigin chockes on his spit when you tell him that you're dating all the kings. He looks at you with this face

He didn't know you could do that. He's still an avid Mc x Lucifer shipper and will continue to get into arguments with people that disagree. He had to be lectured by the Paradise Lost marketing manager (Buer) about how bad it looks for most of Paradise Lost's media output being arguments on the internet about a stupid topic. Gamigin stops redirecting his passion for the subject towards making sure that your stay at Paradise Lost is the best in hell. Finally he can talk with his brothers and they'll understand what he means by keeping you happy so you come to Paradise Lost more often.

[princessbrunette]

imagine jayj's panic rambling about some stupid lead john b wants to chase next, pacing the floors n practically given you a headache cos he literally hasn't breathed in the last five minutes so you just drop to your knees in front of him to get him quiet - 🍓

🩰𓈒⋆⑅˚₊୨୧

you could never quite follow with all the pogue adventure stuff. it was alot, and each day brought new details and side quests and it was difficult to keep up with. you knew that if it was a lot for you, it had to be a lot on your boyfriend jj — which became more and more clear as he paced your girly bedroom, repeatedly yanking his hat off to run a stressed hand through his hair.

“and you know me i don’t like to wait — we’re wastin’ valuable precious time that could be spent walkin’ right in there, sticking a gun in their mouth n’ waiting for them to squawk, but no — nah of course john b wants to do the freakin’ logical thing and regroup tomorrow. tomorrow, babe— these dudes are gonna be half way across the ocean by tomorrow, bon appetit— never to be seen again!”

“do you mean bon voyage?” you furrow your eyebrows, swinging your legs as you listen along, sat on your vanity watching the blonde pace your room. he’d only been in your house for a matter of ten minutes, and you weren’t sure he’d taken a second to breathe since he had arrived — ranting furiously about the day of pogue drama and adventure.

“look— whatever, okay— the point is, no one’s listening to me, n’i get it, right? jj’s the crazy one, jj’s always gettin’ himself into trouble— but you know why that is? it’s because i take action.” he pummels his fist into his hand with emphasis. “i’m not gonna just sit here and let these guys get away with this shit, you know?”

he finally looks at you, like expecting an answer and you take the opportunity— hopping off the vanity to step towards him. “i know it’s frustrating, jayj — but there’s nothing you can do right now. everyone’s safety including yours should be the main priority.” you pout. you know he didn’t wanna be lectured by you on being safe, especially not right now but you couldn’t help offer your opinion. plus, as selfish as it sounded you kind of wanted him to drop the whole thing now. it was pointless, really.

“i know — okay? i know. i’m sorry i’m… yeah, i’m just stressed the fuck out. you know how i get. i just kinda find it funny how he— wh… what you doin’ there?” he’s paused in his tracks when you’re suddenly infront of him, nodding intently along with what he’s saying as your fingers pop open the button on his shorts.

you have the audacity to look confused by his question, tilting your head like a sweet lost puppy. “…helping? said you were stressed, jayj?” you furrow your brows, manicured fingers slowly dragging his zipper down before you sink to your knees, looking up at him expectedly.

“you— uh, you were gonna…? right here?” he blinks, his anatomy betraying him as his cock jumps in his pants in muscle memory of you being on your knees. you nod happily, leaning forward with a polite smile, pressing a kiss to his bulge through his pants.

“wanna help.” you muse happily, almost cheerfully and he swallows, taking his hat off for the last time and tossing it onto your bed.

“hey, don’t let me stop you sugar. just… surprised. god damn.” he runs a hand through his hair, the frustration already starting to seep out of his body. you take this as the green light to start massaging his length through the fabric, giggling giddily as you ready him for your mouth.

“just relax now, jj. lemme make it better.”

🩰𓈒⋆⑅˚₊୨୧

[that-trans-autistic-guy]

why i love the edwin-crystal sibling like relationship from memory and why it makes me love crystal even more

there simply isn't enough online about 1. how awesome crystal is as a character and 2. how awesome her and edwin's relationship is. so imma dump all my thoughts here from pure memory.

ep1: so yeah, they start rough. but when jenny points out to crystal that she's so focused on her own problems that she's ignoring everyone else's, just like how she said the boys did, she resolves to change that. she realized she was being unfair because it was pointed out and she decided to try and be better. when edwin breaks down, she's listening. she's listening and understanding. she tells this boy, who has not been the nicest to her but she's beginning to understand, that she gets it. that she sees him, that his unnoticed death matters to her. she sees the sharp, jagged, raw and emotional parts of a boy that she'd only seen as cold and logical thus far. and when his unusually timid voice asks if they can focus on becky's case, she agrees. in the butcher shop, she offers to once again explain the internet to edwin. implying that she'd already done so. and she says it without any condescendence. when she's knocked to the ground, edwin helps her up and they sort of cling to each other as charles is reckless.

ep2: not as much here from what i remember but there's still some stuff. edwin does actually commend her actions in luring the sprites out, followed by telling her not to do it again. from an emotionally repressed boy from a time when fixing each other's clothes was the most intimate thing you could do in public, thats quite a big step.

ep3: one of my personal faves. crystal is quick to point out that edwin is jealous of her and charles. she does actually assure him that nothing would happen and its just a small show of her care for his feelings. now, in the house, do they bicker and argue? yes they do. but i would argue that most of that is fueled by their anxiety and fear for charles. when crystal points out that charles has issues, he ultimately listens. its shown immediately the next ep when he tries to be better and offer himself as a safe space, something he wouldn't have thought to do without crystal's guidance. when they actually work together, its incredible. crystal literally fights her own personal demon to get back to the boys. edwin is trusting her enough to openly admit that he has no idea how a vhs works and trusts her to put in the work to save his person. when she's in danger, he pulls her out because he cares and she's given him reason to. she doesn't question when she comes out from her own head and edwin immediately asks for help, something he almost never does. when she talks about how she's a bad person, edwin immediately tells her that she isn't. he wastes no time in assuring her that she couldn't be anything but the person she is now. she also points out the moment charles' mask goes right back up and offers a lot of insight to edwin. because edwin hasn't really had a friend before charles and charles was already doing this when they met. he had no reason to think that it wasn't a normal thing. but crystal points it out and he notices, he listens and he learns.

ep4: this is another one i dont particularly remember much of these two from. the ep starts with edwin asking if charles wanted to talk about his father, something he never would have done without crystal's guidance. when edwin tells crystal and charles to go off together, she asks him if he's ok, which in the moment, is said in a somewhat joking tone. but once he's gone, she asks charles about it because she's concerned about him and she knows him well enough to know something's wrong. when she's angry that the washer woman didn't give her an answer, he apologizes genuinely because he does want the best for her.

ep5: this ep starts off with a lot of emotional maturity from crystal. she admits that she isn't in the right space to start a relationship and i'll be honest, i hadn't seen that from a show before. made me love her even more. one of my favorite moments of the show is them haunting twitchy ritchy. when he makes deprecating and homophobic 'jokes', crystal is quick to shut him down. and i would argue that she knew edwin was gay, i'd argue for hours. she notices his distress and immediately shuts the dude down, and hard. in return, when ritchy tries to be intimidating, edwin is the first to step in. he extinguishes the flame with a satisfied lil smirk and crystal didn't even have to look over to know that he would step in. and we don't really see it, but i'd bet watching edwin do childish little haunting things probably made her smile. it's a scene i think about all the time. when edwin shoos them away from the summoning and charles questions his choice, crystal sticks up for the decision. its small and unintentional, but there is an aspect where she admits that he's right. something she wouldn't do if she didn't like him and respect him. and when edwin realizes that marin killed the jocks, he's rushing out behind charles. hell it looks like he's pushing him forward to get them downstairs. crystal emphasizes at the end that she sympathizes with the boys, that it was a shitty thing to have in common that they were all victims. yet she offers her sympathy nonetheless. and when edwin says he's had enough emotion for the day, she isn't offended that he wasn't receptive or anything like that. she just smiles, knowing that he really can't handle a lot of emotions and she knows that he doesn't mean anything negative by it. she shows that she understands him and that she doesn't judge who he is.

ep6: when crystal loses her powers, she's scared to tell edwin. she says that she's afraid that he would consider her useless and toss her aside. but that stems from the fact that she really values him as a friend and is scared of being abandoned by the only people she has. and when edwin finds out, he is shocked sure but he's also concerned. he insists that he wouldn't have left her behind and she tells him that he would. its an emotional moment for her and i wouldn't write off that she's just really defensive in the moment. when she sees the boys in trouble, about to be dead-dead, that's when she regains her abilities because she cares about both of the boys and gods be damned if she's gonna let a witch tear them from her. and as the walk back, she leans into charles because she knows edwin doesn't like touch. but he's still right behind her, still nearby and offering silent support. and he goes the step of naming one of their plans after her, plain and simple. she shows her appreciation in the same slightly sarcastic tone they use with each other all the time.

ep7: so many thoughts. the second she finds out that edwin is in hell, she's already resolved to go get him. she has known the boy for a few weeks at most and she cares so much and is so selfless that she doesn't hesitate to volunteer to go to actual fucking hell. when she's told she can't? she tracks down her abusive demon ex who has literally tormented and plagued her mind nonstop. she walks right into his domain and demands he open her a door to hell. literally demands the person who has ruined her life to let her into hell to rescue her friend. when he refuses? she's ready to throw hands and doesn't hesitate to do so. and when the boys come back? yes, she does hug charles and not edwin, but she knows that isn't his thing. but when it cuts back to the teens after the night nurse speaks, you see her arm falling from edwin's. even though he hates hugs and she knows it, she still reached out and held his arm to show how happy she was that he was there, that he was safe. because even though he doesn't hug, she still needed to show him she was happy he was back. she talks about how she fought david and edwin expresses surprise and concern. her retort? 'it was the funniest thing. my friend got dragged to hell and i just had to try and help him.' she doesn't even think about hiding how much she cares and edwin's little smile just confirms how much it means to him.

ep8: when she's recovering her memories, edwin is there. he's watching over her with charles and that just hits something in me. he must have spent so long in the dollhouse exhausted, hoping someone would watch over him so he could be safe and rest. and when crystal is vulnerable, he's doing it. he watches over her as she calls her parents and the second she says that they didn't care, he is insisting that there must be some kind of explanation. every time she wakes up after eating the memory orbs, he rushing to her right beside charles. and i'd bet my bottom dollar he was stressed the whole time she was out. when crystal leaves, edwin does offer her a handshake. she jokes about how he's changed, how he's gotten friendlier, and he jokes back, even throwing in a reference to hell. it's a sweet little interaction and it shows their friendship and familiarity. esther takes the boys and she doesn't hesitate to work a way to get them back. she goes right to the cat king and argues that edwin is her friend and tck should help them because he has personal interest. she charges right into esther's house and already has a plan in place. she spends a minute on charles because she knows edwin's in danger and his screams are fucking unbearable. she offers herself as a distraction so niko can free edwin. when she's pinned against the wall, she scream-pleads for edwin to hold on and it is full of desperation, because she needs her friend to be okay. that scream haunts my mind because she is scared and she knows he is too, and she needs him to hold on and be okay. and when niko 'dies', they are huddled over her body and mourning together. in the end, edwin gives her a professional offer for her to have a permanent place with the agency. and this girl, so naturally full of love and affection, hugs him with a massive smile on her face. because she's been looking for people to belong with and she's found em and they want her around. and she's gonna do anything she can to hold onto them, come hell, demons or high water.

basically, crystal is beyond amazing and her sibling relationship with edwin is my favorite. if you don't like her, argue with the goddamn wall.

[darlingshane]

I’d love to hear your thoughts on why Shane is the best character in TWD 😊

Cause he's my baby and he's hot and I love him and that's good enough of a reason 😂 

But if you want something more logical, perhaps for a lot of reasons people tend to overlook… First, something that always bugs me is how little acknowledge there is of him actually stepping into the role of a leader for months before Rick showed up. As far as I know, no one in that group stepped in like he did. For the few interactions we saw, everyone would come to him for answers, and while he wasn’t always very diplomatic, he had good survival instincts and kept the group safe for months. Perhaps staying at the quarry wouldn’t have worked in the long run, but it was a plan nonetheless. 

He was right most of the time. He figured out pretty quickly how things were after the infection, and adapted a new mindset. He had to make tough decisions nobody was ready for yet, and maybe he pushed too hard instead of giving people time to get into that same headspace. And we see in later seasons that almost everyone thinks in a similar way Shane did, they just have different approaches. 

and it keeps going under the cut...

I recently saw a timeline in a subreddit or somewhere else that said the events from season 1 and 2 happened in the span of 2 or 3 weeks and that's crazy to me. So they were seemingly doing good, and they found Rick, everyone automatically herd to him, and everything until that point didn’t really matter anymore. That really pisses me off that he was just killed a few weeks later because they couldn’t sit down and talk things over. All and that, and despite him being driven for his misplaced love for Lori, he was still loyal to Rick in his own way. Did he question Rick’s leadership? Yes, countless times. Did he also follow his lead every single time? Also yes.

Which leads me to my next point. He also kept Rick safe. In the hospital flashback, he went in and saw what was happening and amidst all the chaos he still tried to get him out. When he couldn't, he did the only thing he could, he locked the door and barricade it. Did he know that would keep him safe? Probably no. He had absolutely no idea, but he was driven by getting them all out, and when he couldn’t get him out, he did the best he could to get Lori and Carl out of town. If he hadn't lied about Rick, Lori wouldn’t have agreed to leave him behind. Again, tough situations led to hard decisions.

And one of the hardest decisions he made was killing Otis to save Carl. He didn’t murder him in cold blood, he was with him until the end, killing him wasn’t something that crossed his mind until the very last second when he had no choice. If he hadn’t, Carl wouldn’t have gotten the care he needed. BUT people tend to paint him as a murderer for shooting him in the leg. It wasn’t right, but it was the only way out at that moment. I recently revisited one of my fics and wrote that Shane sacrificed his soul to saved Carl that day and I still agree with that. I don’t think he purposely hurt someone before unless he was defending himself. And from that moment on, you could see it changed him and didn’t know how to deal with that, which led him to his own demise.

Was he an asshole sometimes? Yes. Did he do or say things in a way I didn’t agree with? Yes. Did I ever want to slap him? Many times. But there was something about him, compared to other antagonists later on the show, that made him more realistic to me. He wasn’t driven by wanting to be right all the time or even being the leader. His misguided love for Carl and Lori, was at its core the things that he cared the most about and that he wanted to protect at all costs. And while I cared for neither, I think it was beautiful of him. 

I can never watch his last moments. For me, he got the right idea at the beginning of season 2 when started considering leaving the group on his own. I wish he had done that, even if that meant leaving the show. 

I’m probably forgetting something here cause I haven’t rewatched in years, but I think that’s it. Like I’ve said, I didn’t pay much attention to him the first time around, I did agree with him most of the time, it was his manners that left a lot to be desired. It wasn’t until my love for Frank got me to go back and watch some of his previous performances that I got to see Shane in a new light. 

In conclusion, he’s still the best character to me, and everyone should love him like I do. Or not. More Shane for me if you don’t. 

[powerpuffobsession]

Am I the only one who feels that Hazbin Hotel's overall vibe is far too naive and upbeat for an adult cartoon about hell and redemption of sinners?

I feel like before writing this cartoon, Vivzie and the other writers should have made a trip to unfortunate areas of the world and watch how the lifestyle there rolls. Because hell is said to be a place of misery, where there is no trust and a lot of hate, both internal and external... Adam is an object of pure unfiltered hartred (both from writers and fandom) because he dares to live in heaven, such a safe and friendly-natured place...

And yet the sinners who happen to be main characters act more like school kids on a field trip (even more carefree than those, lol) - their selfish and sinful motives are so artificial and are brought up only when these characters need to look like a victim, not like criminals who somehow deserved a place in hell

Obviously, it's a manipulative trope to put them in a better light than Heaven and Adam (who is forever silenced by the writers and not allowed to voice any thoughts and reflections other than "hurr durr murder I luuuv murdering and being evil because that's what I was since I was born, even though Lilith and Eve, born literally the same way as me, were innocent victims from the get go, and no logical explanation for that will be provided whatsoever - men bad, women good")

In the light of all that, the sinners are too eager to trust each other and form "da epic powar of friendship" mlp-sonic-style

In a society built on terror, anarchy and survival instincts, no one would ever bother wasting vital power on noticing someone's problems and helping them out. Everyone is focused on their own problems and desires, and that's what drives them to act. Well, the exception may be family members, and even that varies

That's why Husk's intent to comfort Angel after the later attacks him over nothing at the bar, looks really fake, considering the setting. At first I thought that "loser baby" where Husk insults Angel, was some sort of revenge and Husk laughing in the spider's face. But no, it actually turned out to be a comforting song that started their friendship. Husk literally had no motivation to want to help Angel, because he was annoyed by him all the time prior. If there was some kind of basis for their bonding, I would have believed it. But not like this.

And Angel had no reason to actually like that sort of comfort. I get it when your best friend or a family member cheers you up in a harsh way - you know them. And even when coming from people you trust that can hurt. Now imagine a complete stranger doing that to you. That's actually something that shouldn't be done - trying to playfully insult or jester a person you haven't communicated with for a long enough time to gain their trust. And to make this even more strange, Angel at first reacts negatively, but then suddenly snaps to liking that disrespectful way of comforting for no reason at all.

And why did Angel even vent his problems to Husk, a stranger bartender who he'd hurt before. Wasn't he actually afraid of being laughed at and of Husk using his trauma to spread gossip around or something?

Next, Sir Pentious. In the pilot (which is officially part of canon, mind you), he already felt like a joke sunday cartoon villain, but at least he had some edge to him that made him look like a sinner with some dark history. In the series however, he gets nerfed the very moment he steps into the hotel to the point where it's painful to look at

His tendency to abuse his henchmen, his physopathic demeanor, his hartred for Cherri (instead of embarrassing attempts to get blue balled by her), his sincere power hunger - where did all that go? Vanished in a blink of an eye. All that's left of a promising snake demon is a pile of fanservice. So morally unchallenging and harmless that a viewer theoretically simply cannot resist loving him

Well i'm kind disappointed. We don't even know in what way Sir Pentious had to improve, because the plot never focused on his past, his life goals, whatever made him want to lead turf wars and whatever awful things he did in life, what was the point where he started degrading... none of that. He just became a better person after one "sorry song" and acted perfectly innocent ever since and didnt put any effort into getting ready to sacrifice himself for other main characters

The sacrifice... to me it's baffling how fast the sinners, over the course of just 6 months, actually became Charlie's family figures and risked their lives for her hotel. Such pure child-cartoon-styled power of friendship, built in hell, with the aid of a princess who cant even think through her project of helping sinners without bringing them more trouble... realistically, Charlie would have had to fight angels alone (how convenient it is that no main characters died in that chaotic brawl, right?)

And Charlie herself is far too naiive and soft-natured for someone who is free to walk along the streets of hell looking at all the muder, rape and othe horrible stuff that's happening there. Given that she's 200, Charlie had more than enough time to built up her street smarts and guts and learn to be more practical and mindful, instead of staying with the mind of a 12 year old who needs other characters to do everything for her (Lucifer, Vaggie, Alastor) and then get praised for THEIR efforts. That's hell's royalty and our main character?

Aaand since sinners are portrayed as Charlie's "people" (as if they are a nationality), sweet babies who all deserve redemption and are called innocent by Emily (I can't believe how dumb the writers made angels be) - the true essence of exterminatons is never focused on. Adam and his exterminator army are seen in the wrong, like some kind of monsters who terrorize poor souls. However, think about this - child molesters, rapists, torturers, bullies, nazists, actual racists etc died in those exterminations. Doesnt that seem like something a lot of us would want? To have scum like this disappear as revenge for people they have hurt/driven to suicide?

Exterminations are not really an act of racism, bigotry or something like that. They are an excecution of criminals, which a lot of sinners are.

But the black and white writing is trying to conceal that rather prominent highlight of the rotten part of Charlie's plan (not all sinners deserve mercy or redemption). All that was needed was to make exterminators these icky "villains" who luuuv killing and are never willing to listen

All in all, a cartoon that has an ambitious premise that should be driven by psychological reasearch/analysis and dark serious themes... makes me roll my eyes with its cliche use of "power of friendship" and " strictly good main characters, strictly bad villains" tropes. Too bad such beautiful animation was wasted on such juvenile writing that never had any effort put into it

There shouldn't even be any villains or heroes in a setting like this. Allow the lead roles (sinners in hell) do something actually questionable and be unlikable, don't coddle the viewer in fear of making them even the slightest bit uncomfortable. Allow those, who opposes sinmers, have personalities and reasons, not cliche sociopathy for sociopathy's sake to cause forced sympathy for the main characters

Pristine "safe" writing should not have a place in adult cartoons. Or else they will stay a product that'd rather be watched by 7-14 year olds instead of adults (I can't picture a single adult over 22 who would unironically call hazbin hotel a show that tackles realistic issues in an observant way)

[ask-whitepearl-and-steven]

Would you mind sharing your planning process of the comic? I'm starting to brainstorm a fiction idea and right now the ideas are very messy and I wanted to know if you could show how you plan what happens on a season and on an episode, maybe with an example of a season episode you already published, so I can learn how to organize myself?

I really, REALLY appreciate you coming to ask me for help with this. It's awesome to hear that you respect my writing enough to seek me out as an authority on such things, or at least enough to ask for advice.

But I'm gonna be real with you - what you're asking for is not a quick slapdash reply that I can whip up in my free time. What you're asking for is an hour long video essay (with examples) on the level of an educational creative writing online course.

And I--I don't know if I have it in me to do that right now. Not with everything else I'm trying to do. (Sorry.)

BUT.

What I can give you instead is a basic rundown, and maybe some recommendations for where to this stuff.

To be absolutely brief: For me, the best way to visualize how I plan would be to make a flowchart.

Keep in mind that....... I don't ever actually.......MAKE. A flowchart.

Mostly, I am just using this as a visual representation of how my ideas flow from and to each other in a coherent way. The reality is that this skill is something you have to develop until it becomes second nature.

As an example, let's take the episode(s) where I introduced Seaglass.

This little arc was planned in season 3, but really started to come into play in Season 4.

To make it happen, I started with the obvious main idea: SEAGLASS.

I then broke it down into multiple smaller ideas:

If you notice, the main plot of this doesn't even start when the Seaglass exposition does. Steven makes Seaglass back in season 3, but doesn't know about it. But these ideas are still important to acknowledge as being a part of the main plot.

I then fill in MORE space between these larger ideas.

This whole set of steps is just a logical progression of me playing 'how do we get there'. I make up plot points and say 'what happens to get from A to B?'

And keep in mind - this may seem kinda obvious. That's because... it should be! But that's how the planning happens.

Realistically, it's just a bunch of asking myself questions. The same exact questions I refuse to answer in asks.

"What happens next? What would happen if....?" "Why doesn't Steven know about ....?"

"How would Steven find Seaglass if he doesn't know she exists?"

Well she's small and green, kinda like Peridot. So he goes looking for Peridot and mistakes Seaglass for her.

BAM! You've got yourself a plot point. That's a plan, baybee!

And then just kinda rinse and repeat.

And eventually, you want to make sure that you have some sort of connection back to the main plot point. In this case, it's the realization that Steven CREATED LIFE.

Again, I want to stress - I don't actually........plan.... by writing this down.

I do this process in my head. Often, multiple times per chapter, writing and editing to make it make more and more sense. The important part is about asking yourself questions. The same questions your readers should be asking.

"Why is this character doing this?" "Why is this event happening NOW?" "How will A find out when they realize what B has done?" "What is the BEST time for B to find out...? What is the WORST time?"

All of this takes imagination. It isn't about organization. It's moreso about learning to tetris plot events into their most snug spaces. It's about thinking of events as a staircase, which eventually leads to a larger staircase of plot arcs.

And as a final note, I will say that someday, when I'm less busy, I may make a video about plot. But it will take more time and effort, and for now, please just watch videos by other creators! I'm sure they're just as good at it as I am.