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numinously-yours · 4 months ago

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Free Tarot Reading: Why did X happen?

Today's free reading is going to look deeper at why something in your life happened. I am answering the following questions:

What is X?

Why did X happen?

How can/did you grow from X?

Choose an X above and find your group below the cut:

What is X? Knight of Swords

You may have started a project and, in the middle of it, it abruptly ended. You thought you had all of the resources you needed – money, people to back the project, a solid plan – so when it ended it was really disappointing. You’re not quite sure what went wrong or why the project couldn’t get off the ground. The main point of concern keeps coming back to the people. Why did people decide to stop investing?

Why did X happen? Seven of Cups rev.

At some point during this project, there were too many cooks in the kitchen. Since it was your idea originally, you took the reigns back and decided to make executive decisions. While this isn’t always a bad thing, it feels like people may have stepped back from working with the project because they didn’t feel their voices being heard. Additionally, there were a lot of short term goals as the project was getting starting rather than looking at the bigger picture, so the small things didn’t necessarily add up to reaching the ultimate goal.

How did/can you grown from X? Ace of Swords rev.

This situation is helpful for you as you move forward with other big ideas (or even if you try this one again!). You are excited about ideas so you want to get them off the ground, but this can be a reminder that taking time to plan is just as important as the execution of the plan. Create SMART goals (specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and time-bound), allow others to provide feedback, and find a balance between leading and collaborating. Something else that you may have/can learn from this is to wait on announcing ideas until you have a rough draft. It may have been too early in the planning stages of the original project and that made it asier for a lot of opinions to be thrown around. Come in with an outline/structure which allows for some movement, ideas, and opinions, but isn’t a complete blank slate.

What is X? Six of Swords & Page of Cups rev.

There is/was someone in your life who was holding you back. You are inspired, full of ideas and plans for the future, and have always been someone who’s been able to move forward. Someone came into your life and once they did, you felt dragged down. This person has an immature nature about them. They are a bit narcissistic and childish, but think they are mature and know what they are talking about. It has become incredibly frustrating for you. You feel like you have to put your needs on the back burner in order to avoid chaos. For some of you, you may have distanced yourself from this person for a while, but now they are coming back into your life and you don’t know what you are doing to do. You’ve finally gotten back into your groove – will they mess it up again?

Why did X happen? Knight of Wands rev.

Although frustrating, this person came into your life because the delays in your progress were necessary. Whatever you were trying to achieve at the time where they swooped in and paused your work was not going to be successful if you were to have finished it then and there. I feel like my mom when I say that this also happened to “build character”. In a less annoying sense (for me lol), this person was there to teach you patience – not necessarily patience in people, but in not achieving your goals as quickly as you want. Without this person, there would have been risk of impulsiveness and built up energy.

How can/have you grown from X? Three of Pentacles

On a personal level, having this person in your life will ultimately help you appreciate other people who come into your life. Knowing that the person came into your life to help delay progress may help you see people on another level. “There is a reason this person came into my life. Let’s find out why.” It doesn’t mean you have to enjoy spending time with them, lol, but it will help it be less frustrating when the people around you are frustrating.

Regarding the goal(s), it has been aided in growth by the delay. Now that more time as passed, you will be more objective, have a more solid plan, and know where you can get resources to help it flourish.

What is X? Two of Cups

This has “the one who got away” energy for me. Whether it was a romantic partner or a platonic friendship, someone who you loved and had a great partnership with isn’t in your life anymore. You’re wondering what the point was for this person to bring beauty to your life just for it to be ripped away.

Why did X happen? The Lovers & Nine of Swords

They came into your life because you deserved to know that this type of love exists. You deserve to know that, even in your darkest moments, you are loveable and worth the effort. This person was likely the first person in a long time that you were able to be vulnerable with. You learned how to trust again. You learned how to communicate. In terms of why they had to leave, I think it’s as simple as they weren’t meant to be. It’s not an easy answer to accept and it still probably doesn’t make sense. But the time that you had together really shaped you to be successful in new relationship(s) to come.

How can/have you grown from X? Eight of Wands rev. & Ace of Wands

This relationship is bringing you back to the root of YOU. It has probably started already. There are days you doubt your worth because the person did leave, but each day it gets easier to remind yourself that you are worthy. This person has lit a fire under you to live your life for yourself because you finally know that you deserve good things. They showed you the potential that relationships can have and that you have within them. You can move forward from this relationship with optimism for the future.

What is X? The Tower & King of Wands

Your X was a huge tower moment for you. There was sudden change followed by chaos. Everything that you knew was turned upside down. You had a plan for your future. You could visualize opportunities ahead and see the steps to get there. It feels like you’re expected to build the tower back up but there aren’t any directions to tell you how.

Why did X happen? Justice

I’m not being told exactly what happened that caused the tower moment, but it seems like the actions that were being taken were not in your highest good or the highest good of others involved. Unfortunately, the collapse of the tower was the consequences to those actions. Someone did not stand by decisions that they made and left everyone to their own devices. There was a missing level of ethicality and fairness.

How can/did you grown from X? Knight of Pentacles

This knight is the hardest working knight in the deck. They are methodical and driven. They may not be the most creative, but they get the job done. You are being called to be this knight as you rebuild that tower. You don’t have to be the most creative person in the room. You don’t have to be the most inspiring person and come into a planning session with a full list of new ideas. If you focus on getting the job done effectively and consistently, you will be successful. Sit down and write goals. Just like group 1 (which you may have been interested in checking out), create goals that are tangible and attainable. You can also grow by accepting responsibility for anything that might go wrong. The original tower moment may or may not have been consequences of your own actions, but moving forward you need to be aware of your actions so another tower doesn’t fall. Stick to what you know, stick to a routine, and soon you’ll see the tower is standing higher than ever.

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wolf-tail · 5 months ago

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Once again Helluva Boss continues to improve and mature as a series.

I haven't talked about it for a while but the series is making leaps and bounds of improvement in writing quality. A common complaint i've heard about the show is that it seem to function on what's called protagonist centered morality, essentialy " whatever the main character does is morally justified because he's the main character" but the more you look at the show the more untrue this is.

Even if Blitz is sympathetic, his actions are not justified, and his behaviour makes people he cares about hate him. Sure, it makes him sad but he deserves to feel sad, he's the one who keeps hurting people. "Apology Tour" really makes that point shine.

An excuse he makes for his own behaviour is that he was born and raised in literal Hell, he's "supposed" to be shitty. This line reminds me of the kind of immature and media illiterate behavior some vivziepop fans display when it comes to her work. When her shows have South Park levels of dumb edginess, they'll excuse it with "Duh it's Hell they're supposed to be bad people!" then turn around and gush over how sweet and kind those same characters are. That line, and how the show immediately refutes it, Is also showing me that the team is capable of self-criticism and change, because their work almost seems to use that same excuse. But the whole point of both Hazbin and Helluva Boss is that those are not valid excuses, and that characters in Hell have both the ability and responsibility to change and be better people.

Another common criticism of the show is the inherent toxicity of Stolitz, but that's also the point of the show. The way the characters are when they get together and where they are currently do not make for a healthy relationship. Whils a lot of critics point to Stolas as the source of the toxicity, I feel that's unfair to his character. The show initially sets him up as the selfish hedonist who uses Blitz for his own pleasure, which is how Blitz sees him. But the show continues to show us that that's not who he is. He's a hedonist only in the sense that he's been denied happiness and pleasure his entire life, of course he'd seek it out. He was the child of an emotionally neglectful father, a repressed gay man forced into an abusive relationship because of compulsory heterosexuality, and a father struggling to connect with his teenage daughter through the haze of bitter divorce. He eventually has enough character growth to realize the unhealthy power imbalance he has with Blitz and attempts to solve it. But when he does, we see the true source of toxicity in this relationship.

Blitz is a violently traumatized man who developed some really unhealthy coping mechanisms, and essentially allows his trauma to control him. He's manipulative, rude, possesive, impulsive, and prone to lashing out against the people who care about him the most. Stolas went from "he makes me happy" to "I want him to be happy", but I don't really think Blitz knows how to be happy.

And that's why he has an entire room full of people whose hearts he broke and hate him enough to throw a party about it every year.

Another thing I liked about this episode is that it really embodies the concept that the opposite of love is not hate. Stolas put at the best, the "Fuck Blitz" party exists because so many people loved him, loved him enough to be hurt when he betrayed them, loved him enough to hate him. The show validates and justifies that anger and pain, and acknowledges that Blitz is just the protagonist, not the good guy.

And it forces him to realize that, too.

#Helluva boss #apology tour #vivzipop critical

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scrumptiousstuffs · 1 year ago

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Only Friends, Episode 6 - Happy F@#king birthday

In which we see Ray’s self-combust while leaving a trail of destruction, Sand showing his darker side, Ton continues to be an arsehole and Mew finally knows the truth

Sand

This episode more than anything depicts how complex human nature can be. Sand (who so far has been shown as someone with integrity) reached a breaking point. We know he is street smart, cares for his mom, and has basically fallen for Ray. We also know to some extent he cares for Nick. But the recent revelations of Ton/Top shenanigans, followed by Ton’s outing Ray on the latter’s feelings about Mew on his birthday plus Ray’s ambiguous comments about their relationship (not that I blame Ray or Sand specifically - the latter never made it clear he wanted more and the former is still hung up on Mew) have made Sand at edge. And then we have Sand deliciously tense confrontation with Top in hospital, where we sees while Top may have changed for Mew but remains arrogant to everyone else, and as per Sand “a prick.” With Top reminding Sand where he sits at the ladder (the bottom), it’s truly a sight to see Sand being calculative (but also in my personal opinion, it’s his way to make sure Ray/Nick being cut off from Ton (plus Top) because they are arseholes) - deliberately destroying his phone (when he doesn’t have lots of cash to begin with), manipulating Nick AND Ray to set off a catastrophic cascade of effects with the latter’s alcohol/substance abuse(s) playing a huge role on what truly was an explosive scene during Mew’s party.

Nevertheless, we sees his caring nature comes into play again. Sand was the only one out of everyone in the party to come after Ray, and despite Ray continuos lashing on Sand (the former trying to physically and emotionally pushing the latter away), he still chased after Ray, worried that the latter will hurt himself with his drunk driving.

Ray

My disaster muffin 😩😫….despite his many flaws, Ray at baseline is an honest person. We know he loves/cherish his friendship with Mew. And I truly believes he is starting to like Sand (also slowly growing to trust and loves him too. At the very least, Sand is the first person outside Mew who treats him more than an inconvenient and seems to truly care for him).

Yes, Ray is immature, but he only really acted whenever he perceived (or being manipulated) to think Mew is in danger. He kissed Mew impulsively when Ton suggested Top is only interested in playing around with Mew. And when he tries moving on, Ton again brought up his feelings for Mew. Even then, he didn’t act out (just giving death stares to Ton in class and during their hangouts), until Sand calculatively informed him of Top/Ton transgression. Again rather than telling Mew straight up, he confronted Ton first (unfortunately hot-headedly), which makes it easy for Ton to control the narratives by playing on Ray’s insecurities and emotions - accusing Ray of wanting Mew/Top to break up so that he can play a hero (which again I don’t think it’s true - I feel Mew has made it abundantly clear Ray will only be a cherished bestie and Ray accepted it - with sadness but he does!), but for Ton to keep putting salt on the wounds, it’s upsetting to see on Ray’s part.

I am not surprised with how Ray self-destruct during Mew’s party. He has suppressed his views and feelings for so long - Ton keeps making snide remarks, Cheum despite being kind and cheerful (as a default mode) has also always thought of him as a drunken fool, Top with his smug “I win” face, and even Mew whose automatic mode whenever he sees Ray is to mother him (thinking that he is either drunk or doing hard drugs, which although comes from a good place doesn’t really help Ray’s fragile self-esteem). And so, when you include Ray’s medicating himself with alcohol (and maybe drugs) into the equation - his inhibitions have gone out of the window. What he actually said during his drunken mess is NOT wrong (except his accusation on Sand being a gold digger - but even then, remember - their relationship started of as transactional and so, it’s easy for Ray to turn on default mode and lash out on Sand) - but the way he said it and timing of all it, well…we saw the trail of destructions he left in his wake.

His relationship with Sand took a setback this episode. Sand never made it clear what he wanted from Ray (from an outsider POV, it’s clear he wants more; even Sand’s wise mom could see it. But Sand is wary, probably a combo of his last broken relationship, destroyed by Top and Ray himself declaring multiple times they are “just friends”). Ray at least has told up front he thinks Sand as friends with benefits. The only point he has never told Sand (before the end of last episode) was his unrequited feelings for Mew. And it’s not something Ray needed to tell Sand. It’s personal and they are still at the stage of just getting to know each other. Anyway, I am in dire need for my sweet SandRay vibes back 😩😫 (and from next week preview, I’m hopefully going to get my wish)

(On the side note, Khaotung beautifully portrayed a broken, alcoholic mess. People with drug/alcohol addictions often hurt and lashed out on their family and friends. They also turn into the worst versions of themselves. So, while I’m still hurting from this episode, I am in awe with Khaotung’s acting 👌)

Boston

Ton continues to be unredeemable for me. He is unrepentant, selfish and unscrupulous. The way he manipulates Ray and Nick is masterful (definitely a politician son, and also the way his dad is proud of Ton’s many one night stands???, let just say I can see why Ton is the way he is!) - the way he spitefully jabbed on Ray when the latter confronts him regarding the whole Top/Ton situation to the way he playfully (and seductively) placates Nick when the latter attempts to firstly confronts his terrible behaviour in outing Ray/Mew in front of Sand (even then he blames the weed cookie rather than himself) and secondly when Nick found out Ton is likely going to move to New York after university.

He is also hypocritical. He doesn’t like being filmed without consent (fair enough, nobody should be filmed/photographed without consent). But for him to say it when he has been doing the exact same thing all this time…urgh, what an arsehole.

And to the end he remains consistent with his personality - not a hint of remorse when Ray drunkenly tried to expose him. Nor a shred of guilt when Nick tried to show solidarity with Ton by embracing him. Just Ton pushing Nick away (which tells you so much about who is in Ton’s mind - HIMSELF)

This is the one character I am hoping karma will come and hunt him!

(I despise him as a character but Neo as Ton is delicious to see. You can tell Neo has fun playing a despicable villain as a change from his usual roles. So, kudos to him and I hope we can see more of him in 2024, sinking into more meaty roles!)

Nick

Everytime I see him on screen, I winced. Ton has him in hook and reads him like a book. It doesn’t help Nick loves Ton and despite knowing Ton’s callous nature, Nick accepts this, making leeway to Ton’s behaviours. I want him to learn he is worth more than Ton because for now, he is moulding himself to make sure Ton never lose interest in him (and if that means ignoring all the red flags 🚩 that are waving madly in front of him, then so be it 😣). From what we see in the trailer, he breaks down in front of Sand with Sand reiterating what an arsehole Ton is (I assumed it may be related to Nick confirming Sand stole the video recording as we Nick clueing on it when he got back his phone). We see time after time, other people (Top, Ray and even Ton himself) also warning Nick about Ton. But love is truly blind, and I wonder what will be the breaking point for Nick - the one that will finally make him break free off Ton (maybe it’s Papang’s character?)

Top

In my opinion, he truly likes Mew (not sure about love yet, but they are getting there). He is trying hard to change - in his own word “a better version of himself.” The problem is, he is only a better version FOR Mew. I can see why Mew falls for him - he is sweet, attentive and basically the perfect gentleman/boyfriend that any person can ask for. However, as we can see, other than Mew - Top is just his usual self, arrogant and used to getting his own ways. He is dismissive towards Ray (and forever lording on the fact he won Mew, like Mew is a prize rather than an individual). Similarly, he belittles Sand (Top is never going to be a person who apologises except to Mew), again emphasising how he always gets what he wants, reminding Sand where he stands in the pecking order. He loathes Boston (fair enough) and in my opinion, he only tolerates Namchuen/April because the girls are not a threat to him (and his relationship with Mew).

He is also a coward. He kept silent about the Top/Ton situation, thinking it’s never gonna come to light (again he didn’t apologise about thinking Ray/Mew had a sexual relationship, which as far I am concerned even if they did it was 2 yrs ago). So, when Mew played him at the end, all I can say is - FINALLY (and even then he initially tried to say him sleeping with Ton was only before TopMew is a thing?? until Mew pressed him, exposing that he knew Top slept again more recently).

Mew

Which brings me to sweet Mew. I have always thought there is more to Mew than meets the eyes. Yes, he is inexperienced in some ways, but he is observant, well- adjusted and intelligent. Him being brought up by loving lesbian couple 🥳😘. And him knowing he doesn’t need to have a bf to feel fulfill cause he knows he can get love from his friends and moms. And so, for him, Top is someone he chose consciously as a partner.

I also love the analogy the screenwriters/directors took with the whole TopMew sensory deprivation dates we had so far (laser tag - touch, silent DJ - hearing, blind date - sight). I perceived it as Mew seeing Top in rose-tinted glasses (during their getting to know each other phase) until he finally got laser treatment this episode (such an irony it was Top who suggested it), and P’ Yo commenting it’s like Mew being reborn. So, Mew finally achieving clear vision and for him to learn about Top’s cheating - 👌. Also, kudos for Mew, playing the long game when he found out Top’s cheating by staying calm and collected at his own party, decking Ray (unfortunately, Ray needed it cause he was truly causing havoc with Ray not listening to any reasonings even when Mew attempts to do that first by trying to calm Ray down), to him seducing Top before dropping the bombshell (Book played this part masterfully and to see him tearing Force’s Top character into pieces - 👍)

I will say it again, I really like Mew and Ray’s genuine friendship. Yes, Mew cannot return Ray’s feelings (and I suspect Mew is trying to gently “wean” Ray off his dependency of Mew cause despite being a good/close friend he cannot be there for Ray 24 hours) but other than that, Mew has made more efforts (than the rest of the group) to be there for Ray. And so, I’m glad that Ray did tell Mew (as any bestie should!) about Top/Ton. I just wished Mew have communicated to Ray better about letting him handle Top (I suspect it’s one of the reason why Ray may have drunkenly try to expose Top cause Mew may have kept his silence, probably trying to process what he has heard from Ray but Ray may have perceived it as Mew not believing him).

April and Namchuen

I’m glad we are seeing more of them (finally!). Like any relationship they have their own problems and with Ray again exposing their private issues during his drunken tirade (urgh that was disastrous, but also yay! - it’s a catalyst for this couple to communicate effectively and sort out their issues).

However, it does seem Namchuen is truly clueless about what’s going on with her male besties. She knows superficially about Ray being perpetually drunk and Ton being a slut. But other than that, it seems the boys are shielding her from the rest of their issues. So, it will be interesting to see how their dynamic changes now that some of the secrets and lies are being exposed (I’m also genuinely worried they are ALL not gonna pass their hostel project 🫣)

Anyway, as usual, it was a roller coaster 🎢 ride of emotions by the end of the episode. The cast and their actings continue to impress me - but the stand out for this episode belongs to Ray, Mew and Sand 👌….so, is it Saturday yet? I need to see Top grovel on Mew’s feet, Mew duking it out with Ton and some SandRay sweet moments to compensate for what I just experienced with episode 6

17/09/2023

#only friends the series #episode 6 #khaotung thanawat #first kanaphan #firstkhaotung #sandray #force jiratchapong #book kasidet #Neo trai #mark pakin #lookjun bhasidi #nonnie pitchaporn #this is me as usual to sort out the mess of emotions and relationship in each episode so that I can get it straight for next one

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anxiousgaypanicking · 1 year ago

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Oreo

Synopsis: As a joke, Roman's forced to ask Virgil out after losing an oreo. Flustered, and somewhat embarrassed and humiliated by the connotation that dating him would be such a bad thing, he says yes out of impulse, and must now deal with what being Roman's "boyfriend" entails. Taglist: @renys @falsemood

Part Five: Oversleeping Masterlist

Does he even have a reason to despise Roman? A real reason?

He knows he hates Remus, but he can’t drag Roman into his brother’s bullying. Well, technically he could, but it’d be immature.

Huffing, Virgil tries to think of a reason - perhaps an annoying interaction they’ve had or teasing that was taken too far - but he ultimately comes up short. He just seemingly decided one day after seeing him around Remus that he didn’t like the man. Overlooking the fact they’re brothers in order to justify his bitterness.

Virgil squeezes his eyes shut.

Okay, he’ll admit that was a bit unfair of him. Deciding that he didn’t like Roman just because of who he’s related to was silly.

But, at the same time, Remus harassed him and his friends constantly. How could someone as wonderful and caring as Roman be related to someone who’s so pathetic that he picks on other people to feel some semblance of self worth?

Virgil’s fists roughly hit against his pillows, letting out a frustrated groan as he struggles to sift through the thoughts flooding within his mind like unruly waves crashing against a beach. He can’t focus on anything for more than a few seconds; a thought would come, he’d feel guilt or justification, and then a new thought would take its place.

He sits back up, adjusting his position on the couch, before he turns and presses his face into a new cushion. Closing his eyes once again, the “date” he’d just gone on plays in his mind like a movie.

Roman’s smile… The ease by which he talked...

And his laughter.

Virgil pulls his knees up to his chest, sighing as he urges himself to relax. The sweet taste of a milkshake on his tongue seems to linger. A wave of exhaustion overtakes him as the exertion of today finally catches up. He’s not an extrovert by any means, and spending the entire day out with Roman was taking a toll.

He leans back on the couch, yawning dramatically, before pushing his face hard into one of the cushions. He lets his eyes close. The date seems to play in his mind like a movie, and he lets the memory of Roman’s soft chuckle lull him to sleep.

***

He wakes up the next morning with a headache.

His phone is beeping repeatedly, and when Virgil looks at him, he’s quick to push himself onto his feet.

Groaning as a wave of vertigo overtakes him, he watches a call from Janus suddenly end, adding to a culmination of missed calls currently capped at “16,” but still threatening to increase. He doesn’t bother answering, instead quickly unlocking his phone as he stumbles towards his room, being met with a barrage of texts including ‘where are you?’ and ‘class started fifteen minutes ago!’

Fifteen minutes. And to make matters worse, Virgil can tell he’d overslept, meaning he feels exhausted as ever. Next time he gets home early from a date, he’ll try to keep himself up until ten.

Quickly, Virgil sends an ‘i overslept’ text to the group chat, met with the singular reaction of a thumbs-down emoji from Logan. Truly helpful.

He quickly gets ready, shrugging off his dirty clothes in favor of a different hoodie and another pair of black jeans, before patting his pocket to make sure he has his house key. He throws his backpack over his shoulders, and nearly trips down the stairs.

Under his breath he curses himself for putting off getting his driver’s license. It’s not a long walk by any means, but with him already being late, having a quicker mode of transportation would definitely help.

Essentially sprinting, he can feel himself getting sweaty, and he shakes his head and groans as he realizes he forgot deodorant or toothpaste. Gross.

When he finally hauls his ass into school, he desperately explains his situation to the main office, and is given a late pass which he shamefully carries as he makes his way to his first class. He looks a mess, and he knows it, and so tries to keep his head down as he walks inside.

Every head raises to stare at him, including Janus’s, and the teachers. He shifts uncomfortably where he stands.

"Mr. Addams," she addresses him, sounding rather annoyed. "Glad to see you're finally joining us. Do you have a pass?”

Virgil raises her arm to hand her the slip, and she reads over it before nodding and setting it on her desk.

“The office will adjust your attendance,” she says, dismissively, and Virgil walks to his desk in the back of the room. His chest aches as he feels everyone’s eyes following him. How stupid does he look? Did he remember to lock the front door?

He collapses into his seat, feeling his legs throb as he keeps a hand on his chest, trying to steady his breathing. Running here took so much effort, and keeping his eyes open wasn’t proving to be any easier. He feels as though he’s going to fall to the ground unconscious at any moment.

He resists the urge to lay his head down on his desk, and tries his best to pay attention, not wanting to upset his teacher any further. She already wasn’t pleased with him; he’d hate to do something that would result in a stern talking-to, or even worse, a referral.

In the corner of his eye, Virgil watches Janus type on his phone under the desk, though his head stays straight. His eyes look between Virgil and the teacher. Though he’s curious, Virgil doesn’t bother to check the vibrating phone in his pocket, not wanting to risk fumbling and dropping it. He’d already drawn enough attention toward himself today.

Thankfully, the bell rings after just a short while for Virgil, and he trudges out of the room, Janus at his side.

“Geez, you look like shit,” he comments, making Virgil roll his eyes. He rubs at his face, focusing around his eyes, as he tries to wake himself up more. “How are you feeling?”

“Like I might pass out,” Virgil groggily responds, before forcing himself to stretch. As he reaches his arms over his head, he lets out a slight groan, and then relaxes again. It didn’t help much, but his body feels less strained.

Janus sets a hand on his back. It’s a light touch, but it’s clear he’s helping guide Virgil, if only a bit.

That doesn’t keep Janus from grinning, though. “Don’t worry. All you have to do is stay alive until lunch, and then you can fall asleep on that hunk of a boyfriend you have.” Janus wiggles his eyebrows, attempting to entice some bitter or embarrassed refute from Virgil, but all he gets is a slight hum in response.

Janus whistles. “You must really be tired, hm? Not a glare? No shoulder punch?” He stops their walking to set the back of his hand against Virgil’s forehead. “Are you sure you’re just feeling tired? You’re not running a fever or anything, are you?”

Virgil finally scoffs, and pushes Janus’s hand away. Janus was right in a sense though. He just had to make it to lunch. Then, he could take a quick nap! Hopefully, he’d feel better after that.

Thank god tomorrow was Friday.

Virgil sleepwalks through his next few classes, but it doesn’t seem like any of his teachers notice. Janus and Logan accompany him through a few of them, but he hardly notices. With his head down, he struggles to keep awake, and resorts to kicking his leg in order to stay awake.

Finally, after what seems like centuries to Virgil, lunch comes around.

His eyes burn, and he feels like he’s shaking with every step he takes. He just needs to make it to the cafeteria. Then, he’ll be okay.

As he’s walking - rather slowly - towards the loud chatter and open double-doors, an arm wraps around his shoulders. Virgil jumps, and stiffens as he cranes his neck upwards, only to see Roman.

“Lacking the pep in your step, I see,” Roman jokes, and Virgil can’t help the small smile that graces his lips.

“I’m tired,” Virgil clarifies, as he lets Roman guide him forward.

Roman chuckles. "You shouldn't be; you told the teacher you overslept.”

Virgil rolls his eyes, but Roman suggests “you can nap at lunch. I don’t think all the screaming would make the greatest white noise, but to each their own.”

Virgil laughs softly. “Janus told me a similar thing.” He leaves out the bit where Janus joked about Virgil falling asleep against Roman. Being reminded of that, he’s quick to pull himself away from Roman, who eases his grip and allows Virgil to do so.

People whisper as they pass. It was still big news that Roman decided to date some social outcast! Virgil still needed to ask how people found out about that, though, with Roman’s love for affection and his brother’s big mouth, he definitely had a few guesses.

Once they sit down at their table, Virgil immediately slumps over it, and tucks his head into his arms. Roman, who’s apparently decided this was his new table as well, pats Virgil’s back comfortingly.

“I take it you’re no longer completely against dating Roman?” Janus teases, alluding to the fact they walked in together.

Virgil just shrugs, too lethargic to care at the moment.

Janus laughs. “Better watch out, Roman! Virgil might actually be falling in love with you.” He winks, and Roman smiles, but Virgil lets out a string of muffled words at Janus’s teasing.

They’re mostly incoherent, but Janus can just assume the obvious; Virgil was obviously saying something along the lines of “I could never fall in love with someone like him.”

Roman has no qualms laughing at Janus’s words, though, cheeks a nice pink at the idea. Virgil actually falling in love with him? Never. And Roman becoming equally smitten? He doesn’t see it happening.

There were no real romantic feelings between them, and Roman knew that. But he’s not a quitter, and if Virgil insists on being in this “relationship,” then Roman will make sure it’s the best relationship Virgil’s ever partaken in.

Sneaking a glance downwards, Roman’s met with Virgil’s (supposedly) sleeping figure. He was breathing rhythmically, so Roman assumes he’s finally managed to drift off.

Out of courtesy, Roman lowers his voice, and when Logan finally comes over to join them, he does the same. Logan has a book out as he eats, but he has no problem talking while reading, as if that wasn’t an impressive task. And as lunch carries on, Logan and Janus become more invested in each other, leaving Roman to eat his lunch quietly, side-by-side with Virgil.

When the bell rings, Janus and Logan get up and walk off together, leaving Roman with a sleeping Virgil.

With a sigh, Roman gently shakes Virgil awake. Virgil groans, before weakly swatting at Roman’s hands. His accuracy is horrid, but Roman’s arms retreat anyway, giving Virgil space to stretch.

“Don’t touch me… you heathen….” Virgil yawns, blinking his eyes open.

Roman grins. “Heathen? That’s an awfully mean thing to call somebody who’s looking out for you. Here I am, selflessly making sure you get to your next class on time, and you insult me.” Roman sets a hand on his chest, feigning being struck, as if Virgil’s insult had punched him square in the torso.

Virgil stands, yawning again, before cracking his back. Then, he begins walking. Roman walks with him. They don’t share the same class this period, but it’s in the same general direction.

“Believe me, Roman, I could call you worse,” Virgil threatens, voice gravelly. He still sounds exhausted, but he looks a bit better. Hopefully, with a quick cat-nap, he’d be better suited to finish the rest of the day.

Roman laughs, but doesn’t respond. Silently, they head to Virgil’s class, before Roman waves and turns away to walk to his own, leaving Virgil to settle himself at his desk.

Their afternoon classes are uneventful, and the two are both fairly happy when the dismissal bell rings. Roman runs to his locker, which is already swarmed with fellow football players, other boys trying to associate with the “cool” jocks, and girls desperate to talk to them.

He manages to worm his way to his locker, but in attempting to grab his stuff and leave, he’s stopped by Remus.

“Hey, loser,” Remus greets him, with a wide smile. He’s leaning against the locker next to Roman’s. “Have you convinced that outcast to break up with you yet?” Remus picks at his teeth with his pinky as he waits for an answer, seemingly intrigued.

“No,” Roman replies, as he shuts his locker a bit louder than necessary. “I haven’t been trying.”

Remus looks a little surprised. “Why not? Don’t tell me you actually caught feelings for that accident?”

Roman narrows his eyes, turning to Remus with comically red cheeks. He was frustrated, but such a look could easily be mistaken for fluster. A strange compulsion to defend Virgil wells up in his chest. Maybe it was because Virgil wasn’t here to stick up for himself.

“So what if I have?” is his immediate jest, threatening Remus to raise any sort of objection. “Is that such a problem?” There’s a glare not normally present in his soft green eyes, and it makes Remus jut his chin out in a mixture of curiosity, and amusement.

Roman doesn’t actually have feelings for Virgil, but he has respect and basic decency. Unlike Remus, apparently.

“You barely know him,” Roman continues, as the increasing volume of his voice draws the attention of the people around them, “and from what I’ve seen, he’s a better person than you are.”

“That’s not a hard bar to surpass.”

Roman groans, before stomping his foot dramatically. “Whatever, Remus! Get out of my way; I’m going to see my boyfriend.”

He pushes past Remus, purposely bumping his shoulder against his brother’s, before stomping off, leaving Remus there, intrigued.

Roman takes deep breaths as he makes his way to Virgil’s locker, where he hopes the latter is. And he’s pleased when he sees Virgil there, though Virgil looks exhausted.

His forehead is pressed against his locker, eyes closed. He was holding his bag by his strap, though it hangs down, being drawn to the floor.

Roman sets a hand on Virgil’s shoulder, and apologizes immediately when Virgil jumps. His eyes are wide as he stares at Roman, before sighing out a short “what do you want?” Ever so polite, Virgil wastes no time getting straight to the point.

Roman smiles. “I came to ask if you wanted to come over!”

“Why?” Virgil responds, voice sounding tired. It’s enough to make Roman shift his weight from one leg to the other, debating whether or not he should just drop the topic.

“You mentioned earlier that you didn’t like being alone,” Roman replies, smile faltering slightly. “I came to provide you an alternate option!”

“Who said I’d want to spend time with you instead?”

Roman lets out a sigh, adjusting the bag on his back. “I guess you have a point. I’ll take that as a no, then.” He turns to leave. “Well, I’ll see you tomorrow-”

His hand is immediately grabbed, and Roman turns to see Virgil looking a little anxious. He quickly masks it when they make eye contact, and releases Roman’s hand just as quickly.

“I never said no,” Virgil replies, wiping his hand on his pants as though Roman had infected it with germs. “I’ll come over. Are your parents okay with this?”

Roman just shrugs in response, but he smiles wide. “I’m sure they won’t mind.”

He takes hold of Virgil’s hand, pulling him through the school and out the front door. He pulls a pair of car keys out of his pocket, and leads Virgil to a slick, white car. Not a single splatter of mud or pile of bird shit over it. Roman unlocks it, and even opens the passenger side door for him.

The seats are comfy, and Virgil settles into his with a pleased groan, as Roman gets into the driver’s side and starts the car.

“I could fall asleep right now,” Virgil comments, making Roman laugh.

“It’s a short drive,” he assures Virgil. “I have a comfy bed you can fall asleep on at home instead.”

Virgil lets his head fall to the side, staring at the window as Roman drives them out of the school parking lot, and down the street. They go straight for a while, before Roman turns down a certain street. The houses lining the sidewalk were giant, and looked incredibly old.

Virgil’s eyes go wide.

“The historical district?” Virgil exclaims, pressing his forehead against the window. “But… but the houses here are super expensive! Do you really live here?”

Roman nods, and slows his car as he turns and drives up a nice paved driveway, leaving Virgil to stare at the large house they’re pulling up to. It’s white with many, many windows, and a faded blue roof. Large pillars act as support, and a giant yard is freshly trimmed, with marble decorations. Flowers grow along the driveway and the path to the front door.

Roman parks the car on the driveway, behind two black cars parked side by side. He pulls a key out of his pocket and walks Virgil to the front door, before unlocking it. He shuts the door behind them, and then interlocks his arm with Virgil’s.

“Dad, Papa, I’m home!” Roman then calls, giving Virgil’s arm an assuring squeeze. “And I brought somebody you might want to meet!”

#prinxiety #prinxiety fic #sanders sides #sanders sides fic #agp fic #oreo fic #prinxiety fluff

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wisteria-lodge · 2 years ago

Text

bird primary + burnt lion secondary (bird model)

I wrote a lot here, and I generally wrote about the same few themes. I know that I repeated myself a lot, so feel free to cut out anything that's repetitive. (I feel kind of bad making you do that, since that's putting more work on you and I could write a more cohesive essay, but I thought I'd give you all the information at my disposal, even if it's really repetitive. I also feel kind of presumptuous for giving you permission, because you can do whatever you want to).

That's a lot of apologizing right up front. I think we might have a burned secondary here.

I just wanted to read your responses to what I wrote, since they're very interesting to me. You go really in-depth with your responses, which I appreciate.

I think I'm a Lion Bird, but I can't really see that much Lion in myself, other than being opinionated and hating lying.

Hmm. Well, being opinionated is more a personality trait than a method or a motive. And really hating to lie usually comes with Lion *secondaries.*

All that I'm really sure of is that I definitely have a Bird secondary. I really like psychology and classifying people into systems. I have trouble making sense of people sometimes (like what motivates them and drives them), and categorizing people helps me feel better about interacting with them.

Cheers. Completely get what you mean. I mean, why else do you think I'm doing this?

(And for the record, my Bird is a model that I love. Which might possibly be the case for you.)

I also like writing, but I don't have the self-discipline to finish anything, which makes me give up on ideas after a few days.

Now I know this is coming from me being a writing teacher. I kind of have to believe that anyone who wants to write can write, given enough time and support.

But I hear stuff like this from my students all the time. And it either means that they don't have the right scaffolding and framework, or that they aren't writing using the process that's ideal for them. I categorically reject words like "lazy" and "no self discipline," because I think they're symptoms, not causes. I have zero doubt that you can write... and think that this is starting to sound like the language of a burnt secondary. Or maybe just a secondary that needs some support.

I want to go into psychology, but I wouldn't feel comfortable being a therapist. I'm definitely not good at identifying with people's emotions. My family even thought that I was autistic at one point, even though I'm not (I don't show enough of the symptoms).

I'm also low-level autistic, what they used to call Asperger's back in the day. And I'm also not good at identifying with people's emotions, at least in an empathic way. Emotions are not contagious for me the way they seem to be for lots of other people. But I'll tell you a secret. A lot of people like that. Especially people who are high emotion, panicky, on the verge of a meltdown. I'm calm. I de-escalate. I can also sift though the emotional noise to get at the problem.

I probably idolize Bird primaries?

Another tendency I have noticed in myself. (Makes me think you're probably an Idealist.)

I'm fairly sure that I'm not a Snake or a Badger. I don't really care about people that much, or fitting in with groups. Badgers seem to me like they're deferring to the group at the expense of themselves, and that they either don't have their own opinions, or, worse, they're hiding them to gain other people's acceptance.

That's a description of a very immature, or very exploded Badger, but I agree - you're probably not a loyalist.

I'm pretty impulsive, and I hate lying to people (my mom will lie to someone just to make them feel better, and I can't stand it). Those are really the only Lion traits I have.

^ Those are Lion secondary traits, again.

I'm not really brave or anything like that.

That's the parent system. Means nothing here.

I read in your other SortMes that you liked anecdotes, so here are a lot of them. I was just trying to figure out what would be the most useful/helpful to you. I do that a lot...I'll try to figure out what people want me to do and try to give that to them.

'Make yourself useful' 'make yourself helpful' 'give me what you think I want.' But very consciously constructed, this isn't Courtier badger. An Actor Bird persona, maybe? But you don't seem to *like* problem solving this way. Is there maybe some Badger primary modeling going on that's weighing heavily on you, and that's why you had such a knee-jerk negative reaction to even the idea of a Badger primary. Or is this just burnt secondary stuff?

I don't think it's in a Snake way, because I'm not trying to be different people. It's more like I'm emphasizing different attributes of myself.

I mean yeah, you're a person. We all do this. We just all use slightly different mechanisms to do it, which is where the different secondaries come in.

I'm just insecure, and I want people to like me, but I wouldn't change myself for another person's acceptance (at least, I hope I wouldn't).

And we're back to burnt secondary language. There's anxiety, and no joy in your problem solving.

When I was younger (age 12 or so), I thought in black-and-white patterns and thought that everyone who didn't agree with me was wrong.

Okay, well. Classic young Bird primary. I am seeing it overlap with young Lion primaries though. Wrong/Bad/Enemy language can get very muddled together, especially if you're young.

My mom brought me to church with her, and I hated it so much that I compared her believing in God to being the same as her believing in Santa Claus. According to my mom, I've always been opinionated, and when I was around six I told my whole class that Santa wasn't real, making some kids cry. I'm proud of myself for being confident enough to stand up for myself and my beliefs like that, even if I can't remember it. I feel kind of bad that I made kids cry, though.

Definitely an idealist. And I know the easy thing would be to say Bird primary here, because it's all about debating and debunking... but factoring in how young these examples are, and how public they are... Lion primary is still totally possible. That gut deep 'this is wrong, even if my authority figures disagree' is Lion primary... and the "I must express it NOW' is Lion secondary.

I'd never be that vocal about my beliefs now (because I'm scared of people. Thanks, social anxiety). I still judge people like that, to an extent. I know it's immature and I try not to, but I still fall into the trap of judging people from time to time. I don't like people who smoke or do drugs. I know it's a disease that causes biological changes in the brain, and that people usually start doing things like that in the first place because they want a sense of belonging or to cope with depression or something, but I can't stand them. I judge their moral and character, because they chose to do that, even though I know they're not bad people. I don't like it, but that's how I feel.

It's funny that you pair these things together, because it's very common for people with untreated social anxiety disorder to self-medicate with cigarettes, drugs, or alcohol. Sometimes it doesn't matter how much people scare you, you've got to find some way to power though.

I do appreciate your honesty, and I do appreciate that you know this is a tendency that isn't doing you any favors. That little aside about how you need to get your emotions check, though- that's really REALLY bird primary. You don't like how you feel, you're working on changing that, and it's one of the traits that make Bird primaries so admirable.

If you've got untreated social anxiety, I truly hope you can get that looked at before you pick up any unhealthy coping mechanisms. In the mean time, I'm operating within the framework of the SHC system, and I'm going to call out the burnt secondary language. "I'd like to do this, but it's scary."

Around the age of 12, I argued with my mom a lot (teenage hormones, my depression starting to flare up, ect.)

Also an especially common things for young Lion secondaries to do.

My mom said that I'd be a good lawyer because I liked arguing with her (it made me feel powerful, and allowed me to get my anger out) and criticized her about the exact words that she used. My mom even stopped during arguments to look up words and show me the definition so that I wouldn't yell at her about it. I'm pretty sure that's a secondary Bird thing?

What, nit-picking about semantics? I mean it can be. It's just a debate strategy. The thing that's drawing my attention a lot more is what you say about arguing angrily making you feel powerful. That is not true of everyone, not even a little, and is leaning me more towards Lion secondary.

I also used to be really concerned with semantics, and using words correctly. I'd correct people in class if I heard them using the wrong grammar.

*that* might just be a neurodivergent thing.

I also absolutely refused to let anyone cheat off of me, even though people asked me if they could. I saw it as them using me, and cheating's wrong.

I think that's a person thing. If you told me you *did* let random people cheat off you just for the asking, I'd think that was unusual.

I know that I was paralyzed for a few years after high school. I didn't know what job I wanted to have/what I wanted to do with my life, and I was really depressed so I thought that I wouldn't be happy doing anything anyway.

Oh OUCH. That sounds like a REALLY burned secondary.

I almost picked the military because the idea of them picking something for me sounded nice. I wanted someone tell me what my job would be, so that I wouldn't have to decide it for myself and feel responsible for my career choice. Thankfully, I didn't join the military, and psych feels relatively 'me', even if I'm nervous about inadvertently becoming a therapist.

And a burned primary. I'm glad you're doing better. (And you would not be the first Bird Lion who knocked over their secondary and froze, when their primary took a hit. Not by a long shot.)

I spent a solid two to three years feeling trapped, researching every job in existence and taking career tests over and over.

Now this has Exploded Bird primary written all over it. ALL over it.

I really like gathering research (mostly reading about one or two things, like psychology). I wish I was interested in everything. I've tried to force myself to study things that I'm not really interested in (medicine, computer programming/technology), because I really like them conceptually/theoretically, and I want to be good at things like that. I've always idolized people who I see as smart, even though I'm smart, too. Or if I can't be interested in everything, at least just pick one thing (like playing the piano, for example), and become a master at it. I'm a dilettante, but not as much of one as I hope I could be? I admire people who study everything just for the sake of knowledge.

I don't think you're a Bird secondary. And more than that, I think you have an exaggerated, idealized idea of what a Bird secondary is. No Bird secondary is interested in everything. You are smart, and being smart is a huge part of your identity, and so therefore you must be a Bird secondary. (And then you beat yourself up for not doing it perfectly.)

(cheers for using the word "dilettante" though. that's a fun word :)

I wish that I could devote myself more to the things that I'm interested in, like music theory or economics. I want to know about them, but when I actually sit down and read a book about it, I get so bored that I can't finish.

Despite my general disdain for the American education system, I loved school. I always idolized being homeschooled as a kid, to get more personalized education at a faster pace, and I begged my mom for years to be homeschooled. She always said no.

I want to learn about things like history and music theory for fun, but I can't do it without the structure of a class because they're boring, even though I want to know about them and find them interesting. I want to learn a wide variety of things just for the sake of it, even though I usually just stick with the same few things.

I remember failing a college class (it was a computer science class) because I kept failing the projects. It was hands-on, which definitely isn't the type of learning that suits me. I remember thinking afterwards that as long as my class had a textbook, I wouldn't fail, because I'd know what to study and how. I really admire computer programming and how far technology has come, but I don't like coding. I like the theory of it more than the practical applications, if that makes sense?

I'm actually very interested in this. You love school, you love being in class, studying from a textbook is not a problem but hands-on type projects are. But sitting by yourself and reading a book is under-stimulating.

Cool. You seem like the exact person that online classes and lecture series were invented for. All that stuff like The Great Courses, Master Class, Skill Share, Nebula... and then there's always the option of taking a class or a lecture locally, for fun. Learning doesn't have to look like sitting down and reading a book... which is doubly the case if you are a Lion secondary (as I suspect you are.)

I've always been unafraid to express my opinions (with my family, at least. My social anxiety inhibits me anywhere else). I'll tell my mom something like her boyfriend doesn't care about her because he likes himself more than he likes her, or something really blunt like that. I wish that I could stop doing that and try to be more open-minded.

Yeah, that's pretty damn blunt. You're blunt, and you seem to enjoy being blunt. Even in this example, it's not the being blunt that bothers you, it's the being closed-minded (which is more of a primary issue.)

I'll also get sad about societal things that I can't change, like capitalism or the education system. (I have a huge issue with society controlling people, too. That's why I hate religion so much - it's telling you one 'right' way to think, instead of letting people choose for themselves.)

How very Friedrich Nietzsche of you. And I get it. I read Genealogy of Morals when I was 17 and that was a *very* important book for me. I also read Eichmann in Jerusalem at about the same time, and thought they paired very well together.

I've always wanted to understand myself at a really deep level, knowing why I do everything that I do. I try, but I can't figure out everything. But it's always been a driving force of mine.

To some degree, I think this is just human. The unexamined life is not worth living, and all that.

I like categorizing people. I'm really interested in psychology (for example, people often use personality tests like the MBTI when it's been proven in studies to not be scientifically accurate, even though a lot of the traits correspond to the scientifically-accurate Big 5 personality test, which I find interesting. I wonder if the Big 5 being created by psychologists while the MBTI being created by two people who weren't even involved in psychology has anything to do with it.)

I mean, MBTI was created a hundred years ago by two self-taught woman because like... heck that's still early days of psychology, so getting any kind of formal degree would have taken some doing, not to even mention the whole woman-in-higher- education thing of the time. And MBTI is self-diagnostic. It's like SHC, and honestly like astrology, in that the point is to give you language you can use to describe and categorize yourself.

Big Five was developed in the 80s as a tool you could use for studying trait theory in demographic samples. It's fundamentally more useful for studying other people. It's just... really really different.

I hate lying. I lied a lot when I was a kid (once again, around age 12), but that was more me trying to avoid punishments/test my boundaries. Typical teenage things (lol, alliteration).

I also think you might be unusually resistant to thinking of yourself as a Lion secondary, because you equate Lion secondary traits with *teenager* traits. Instead of just young Lion secondary traits with the potential to mature into something cool.

I know that I have Lion traits, like feeling that things are wrong and then obsessively researching to find out why, but I wouldn't trust those gut feelings without a reason, or act on feelings without thinking things through first. Maybe I have a Bird Primary model?

Or you're just a Bird. Because that's a description of a Bird.

I know that I idolize Birds and knowledge in general, but being completely rational sounds like a nightmare. I'm interested in things that require feelings, like psychology and writing.

Birds aren't SPOCK. (And if you've read my sorting of the guy, you'll know that I don't actually even think he's a bird.)

When I look at Lion Birds in TV shows and books and such, they feel way too impulsive and emotional and confident to be like me. When I look at Bird Lions, they have way too much perseverance and stubbornness to be like me.

I mean, just going by what you've told me here, I'd say those two things describe you. There are also a lot of Bird Lions out there who are kind of *going though it.* One of the easiest ways to identify a fictional Bird Lion to spot their tendency to shut down after an existential crisis. You're telling me you didn't identify with Buzz Lightyear even a little? :D

Of course, part of the reason's due to stereotypical character personalities, but I don't see much of myself in either one of them. I know that I have Lion traits, but I know it's not my secondary, since I use Bird traits to help me solve problems (i.e., researching).

I'm sorry to say it, but I haven't seen you use Bird secondary to solve problems. In fact, researching and over-researching seems like an anxiety response. You use words like "obsessive" and you worry about not doing it well enough. The examples you've given me of problem solving involve you just putting yourself out there and punching though the obstacles, and you describe that as feeling good and powerful.

Clearly you have a Bird secondary model, and it's important to you. It's fun, you love it, it's important to your identity, and it probably helped you out during that period when your secondary was really burned. But I think there's a Lion secondary under there that needs to be looked at too.

One of the tests said that I had a Burned Lion Primary and was overcompensating with a Bird Secondary, but I don't think that's right

It's possible, and sometimes what appears to be a stressed Bird primary can end up being a Burnt Lion primary, that is a thing. But I agree that it's not the cleanest explanation, that makes the most sense for you.

I feel like I've always been in-between being emotional and logical, and that life would be a lot easier if I were either one or the other. I have a really logical personality, but I've always been drawn to humanities, which caused a lot of confusion and feeling like I didn't fit. I usually do best when I'm allowed to be creative and analytical at the same time, like writing essays when I have to analyze character motivations.

Yeah, you're fine. You're an emotional Bird who likes to factor that in when you make decisions. The DBT idea of the "wise mind" might appeal to you, especially if you're thinking of going into psychology.

I love psychology, but I'd be terrified if I were a therapist and forced to emphasize with people and understand them, even if I loved diagnosing them.

Diagnosing people IS understanding them. You don't have to be afraid of this. And you don't need high empathy.

As a sort of ending, I really admire what you're doing. I've been fascinated by personality and the way that people are different for most of my life. I'd love to do something like you're doing. When you answer submissions, you always go into a lot of detail, and they're very interesting to read. Thank you. I would apologize for the length, but you're probably going to cut out anything that's repetitive anyway. Essentially, I'm just trying to get more insight into this personality system, because it's really cool. Thanks for replying

You're very welcome. This one was fun. I always like doing Bird primaries because I always end up getting all philosophical. :)

#submission #bird lion #burnt secondary #bird primary #lion secondary #sortme #wisteria sorts #sortinghatchats #shc

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cigarretteluvr · 6 months ago

Text

journaling a count down to twenty one

seven days: I turn 21 soon and it feels like the end of the world. Well, 20 felt like the end of the world too, but that's because I was 19 and didn't know any better. 21 is the Big One, the one i've waited my whole life for. The one where you are deemed to society really an adult: "legal." I guess that legality scares me. I've used my youth as a crutch for so long that I feel like my immaturity has to dissipate during this countdown. And until yesterday I didn't even feel like celebrating 21- and even today I barely do. It feels wrong, worse, it feels empty. How do I celebrate this birthday when every time I blow out the candles I wish he would be here? And when I check my phone at midnight, I'll just be looking for a missed call?

Maybe I should be mourning my adolescence instead of a boy. But I can't help but feel thats just a small piece of a bigger picture, because if I had the love of my life by my side for 21, I don't think I would care very much about the death of my adolescence at all.

I wonder if he would forgive my juvenile impulses if I were to act on them. I wonder if he's as desperate for me if I am for him, and if I asked him to come running he would, because, it's my birthday after all. And we can still chalk it all up to being kids, and being dumb, and being in love and helpless. But I remind myself he probably would think I'm toying with him, or being mean, or being immature. I wish he knew better of me, but I am known to be prone to indiscretion.

I don't even know what I want from him really- anything might do. I guess, really, I want to come back to my place after ordering my first drink (a dirty gin martini) and see his number on my screen as soon as the door shuts, and hear him wish me happy birthday with that nickname he calls me. and in that voice that still gives me butterflies, he would ask me what i did and i would tell him, and it would be normal, just for a call. And maybe then 21 wouldn't be my saddest birthday.

I know that's a fantasy, and i'm barely owed a thought, much less a present. But that, I guess, is my birthday wish this year. Maybe it's bad luck to tell you. But no matter what I blow out the candles to, no matter what I present I get, nothing will compare. and maybe I just need to come to peace with that. But a little part of me hopes, telepathically, he'll know exactly when my door will shut, and my phone will light up with a familiar number, one that will always mean more than 21.

five days: i bought my tiara, it's gold and a little kitschy, but i'm excited to wear it and be princess for a day again (or in my case, a week). 21 is feeling a little more exciting and a little less real. i'm not really sure how to compose myself, i'm not really sure how to feel about it, who to celebrate it with. i've picked the obvious choices but it just doesn't seem right. nothing about this birthweek really has felt right.

im having a birthday party tomorrow and i cant help but think about what additions he’d have to my playlist. he’d probably add something i hate and i would convince him it doesn't work but add it anyway. i was thinking about him crashing my party, the drama. and how he probably would if he could. i thought about the betty of it all, and what i would do if he did. i kept myself awake all night last night thinking about it- not contemplating my answer, just getting excited by it.

i find myself looking for thoughts to distract myself with all day, but they always catch up with me at night. if i plan this party i wont think about it, if i book concerts i wont think about it, sign up for internships, make a checklist with whatever other thousand things i can do in a day and do them. yet i think if he called me right now and asked me to marry him i would-- which is crazy. but it's true. once the distractions run out, once it's summer and i'm alone in my big apartment, and i've done everything i can do by myself in a day, and i don't feel like going to a bar or a club or even out of my room, i'm going to be smearing blood on the walls wishing he was mine. writing poetry about him like they're manifestations and confessions. i'll probably be distracting myself for the rest of my life. what a life.

three days: i got told yesterday by a drunk person that im interesting, because i think things should be so i make them be. and they said that they think that’s admirable, but ultimately wrong. i laughed at them and went back to my friends to dance to faneto.

but it’s true. not that its wrong, but their observation. i never paid much attention to it, i think thats just the way i am and i dont analyze things like that about myself because, well, it is what it is. i think the world is what i make it to be, and that is just my nature, and if i dont like a rule i wont follow it, and if i think something should be a certain way, it is to me. i guess i do live in my own little world. my own constructed little world.

i love living in my own little world. life is nicer here, things make sense here. i have fun here. i can find peace here in whatever chaos i construe.

i wonder how many people admire that about me— is that what people admire about me? have they just not been able to put it into words? he did, he tried anyway, but i guess never said it so succinctly or matter of fact. when he told me there was nobody else like me, that he loves the way i live life, i wonder if thats what he meant and i just might have never understood it until now.

and im turning twenty one (if you havent caught on) and i wonder how that will change. i wonder if it will change, because for a while now i’ve felt like ive been aging backwards. i was told when i was younger i was an old soul and mature for my age. now that im older im told im a free spirit and incredibly youthful. and i dont know if i did that out of my own volition or if i was a special experiment from the universe. i feel like little me felt the agony of a middle aged adult with a 9-5. and now- while i might only be twenty (one) and this might just be how twenty (one) year olds act and feel- i think im childish and naive and getting moreso by the day. and while everyone grows up and matures around me they can call me and use me as a “feel young quick” drug whenever they please, and im just too aloof to understand that that’s not what friendship is.

and i wonder if thats why i feel so lonely? it seems like while people might admire that about me, the own little world of it all, they’ll never understand it, or really resonate with it. they go along with my bits and my quirks- but thats all they really see them as: bits and quirks. im chalked up to quirky and fun, and i thought those were compliments until now. now i realize i might just be completely misunderstood and left to fend for myself in that little world.

it wasnt always this way, i used to have someone by my side who saw me for me and not as some character, and i loved him more than anything and for a million reasons, now including this. and im out of his life and he’s out of mine, and its my birthweek and im realizing all of these things about myself and about life and all i can do about it really is talk into this void and hope someone may care enough to listen. but im still making that birthday wish when i blow out all my candles and hopefully in three days it comes true. he’s still my best friend in my heart and hes always with me in spirit.

i feel so many things— so many conflicting things. angst, misery, bliss, joy, anxiety, peace. but thats what it is to be a girl in her twenties, im learning.

24 hrs, 20 mins: this time tomorrow i'll be at a dive bar named after a pastry in my favorite little town, getting excited to order my first drink at a real bar. a couple hours after that i'll be coming home wondering about a call, and i don't know which i'm more excited for (yes i do).

i'm writing this with my tiara on and i can't believe its almost the end of birthweek. it's almost the end of twenty- which is crazy in and of itself. twenty was so full of love and adventure and learning and change and happiness and tragedy. but i loved every second of it. my favorite memories will be suck in twenty, even though i know i'll make more. the golden ones live in twenty.

not only is my birthday creeping up but so is summer. i'll be here for a good chunk of it- the way we had planned together- and i'll be entertaining myself however i can. keeping busy, but we already talked about that. summer is my favorite time of year i think. I love winter with all my heart, i love who i am in the winter, i love the memories i have with winter, i love how winter feels and smells. but the year never starts until summer. my summers are dreamy and exciting and chaotic in the best way. i love the heat, i love the air, i love the freedom. it's gemini season and i was raised in the sun, how could you expect any less from me?

and while i might be mostly alone this summer, i refuse to let it go to waste. i'm being given access to the rest of the world, i'm alone, and have nothing but time to do anything and everything i love. and even though i was supposed to do it with him, i'll do it in honor of him instead. in honor of the dazzling summer we once planned for ourselves. It seems like a summer in socal is what my life has been leading up to, as dramatic as that sounds. but i feel ready- i am ready. i'm ready to be twenty one, i'm ready to pretend to be an adult with my apartment and my responsibilities and i'm ready to chase my dreams after manifesting them for so long. maybe this is just jupiter, or the moon, or the tiara, or gemini talking, but i'm so ready for all the blessings the universe has planned for me. i'm ready for the lessons i'll learn in this new era. and maybe it'll all lead me one step closer to him. so i'm ready for it (or so i think right now, at least. i still have a good chunk of time to change my mind. but i don't think i will).

this took me 20 minutes to write, so now this time tomorrow i'll be celebrating twenty one, i'll be waiting for my drink, and i'll be feeling a freedom i'll likely only feel a few times more after twenty one. and i'll close my eyes, and make my birthday wish even through that feeling.

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opuestocomplementario · 2 years ago

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Sky and Rain’s perception of e/o

Here are my two-cents to the Rain-Sky friendship conversation.

While I do agree with the idea that in the second half of the drama Rain looks like a dumb baby who doesn’t know what the fuck is going on, I think it does has to do a lot with the way Sky portrays Rain in his head. So, even though Rain has changed after meeting Phayu, becoming more responsible and respectful and overall more put together as a person, Rain is still a very impulsive person, and immature one if you contrast his life with Sky. (Maybe immature isn’t the word considering Sky is the one who got into situations not according to his age, but you understand what I mean). Rain is still a kid to Sky eyes, a kid that for reasons being everything that EP13 showed us, Sky has the need to protect. What if the reason why Sky doesn't want to talk about Gun with Rain is also because he doesn’t want to get Rain involved in toxic and awful situations, because he doesn’t want him to be sad (because we damn well know Rain will go hunt that mf if he knew early)? What if Sky, by recluding himself into a shell, is trying to make Rain enjoy what he has and be happy with him instead of dragging into his depressive states? Much more like what he did with his dad; he doesn’t want people to be sad because of him so he doesn’t want to talk about what happened.

This could also also be why Rain is more intelligent and more like the first part when he is not around Sky; examples being when he gives the key to Pai making sure Pai doesn’t do anything stupid, or when he realize Pai didn’t actually ask for him to get Sky to his place. Even if these situations seems like Rain is giving his friends to the wolves, we need to understand the type of relationships Sky has with people: First, Rain calling the only person that is willing to get out of his way to take care of Sky, who doesn’t care about his responsibilities and who will make the time for him not because Sky’s friends wouldn’t do that but because Sky will actually end Rain if he even dare to make everyone worry and making everyone loses their deadlines and their homeworks. Because, again, Sky refuses to make more people worry if not necessary; hell, Sky doesn't even want people to waste time even thinking of him. Sky also didn’t want Rain to know that he slept with other people before, and he didn’t care who Rain liked, probably because he also wanted to make a safe place for Rain to share those things with him if Rain needed him.

Second, giving Sky a ride to his house makes sense in Rain’s head when he tides the things he knows about the situation present: (1) Sky is feeling unwell, (2) Pai and Rain don’t want Sky to be suffering, so (3) the place who would give Sky comfort and is under Pai wing is his condo. Logically, Rain would get his friends to the safest place as quickly as possible. Like sorry for trying to make sense of something but why do people think that the watcher has the same information than the character??????????? Is it not that hard to see that every action the characters have when it comes to Sky is based on what they know about him which is NOT MUCH and they know nothing about his assault or his past relationship. They don’t know Gun, or his sick evil mind, or his friends. And why, for the love of god, why would they think the worst out of everyone they meet just because we know what happened to Sky? Like hating on Pai for hitting on Sky and not realizing first thing the trauma he has? Sorry, but do y’all go around sharing trauma when you first meet people? I don’t think so.

Another thing that allows me to think this way is the whole reason why Sky even talks to Gun in order to get the information of Phayu races. I think Sky figures Phayu is a good person and the races are not all that toxic when it comes from the right people; like, Sky seemed to respect and follow the worship of Phayu so getting into those places with Rain I think it comes from a place of protection. We also need to note that sometimes stories need some stupid circumstance or stupid situation in order to make the big think happen, so even if Sky had to talk with Gun, the drama didn’t make a big deal out of it because we change the focus to Sky meeting Pai.

Sky seems to trust Phayu and is actually happy that Rain got into a good relationship with him; his dinner with him shows that Rain does understand feelings and is aware of them; however, being aware of your own feelings is not the same as being aware of everyone else's feelings. He said himself: Rain thought Sky would hate him.

Anyway, Rain is my baby and my beloved one so I refuse to take the shit he gets for his character. While Mame could have done so much more for him, I also think Rain becoming more comedic relief helps ease the heaviness of Sky story. Rain becomes the happy time for the watchers who are tense for Sky and is also a happy pill for Sky himself (let’s bring that beautiful moment where Sky said even if he makes fun of Rain he likes that Rain never gives up, which is proves Sky likes the fact Rain is sometimes someone who is not easy to bring down by making fun of). I think LITA emphasizes a lot in sarcasm and irony and the characters wouldn’t get along if one of the parts didn’t enjoy it or didn’t understand it. Rain is both, but by not understanding the double meaning of things he makes people laugh and makes the people around him who use it love him.

Sky perception of Rain doesn’t have to be a bad thing as well as Rain perception of Sky it shouldn’t be bad either. Like, Rain seeing Sky in a way that’s not fully him or missing things is also part of their relationship and how it gets built over the episodes. What Rain and Sky both thought and know about each other in EP1 is not the same as what they think and know in EP13.

#love in the air #lita ep13 #prapaisky #phayurain #RAIN AND SKY PROTECTION SQUAD #rain and sky friendship means everything to me #no i do not watch the drama for the hot guys #i watch it for the dumb gay bestfriends #i will defend them with my life #thai drama #bl drama #bl characters having character development #this is my tag i claim it

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haik-choo · 4 years ago

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I don't write cause I feel I don't have a good grasp on the characters personalities etc, the characterisation of akaashi post is so helpful! 👀👀 Would you do kuroo or bokuto?

a/n: I hope you like both of these! again, if yall want me to do others, let me know! these are across the span of their life, so some may seem college-related and some may seem young-adulty!

[MISCHARACTERIZATIONS OF BOKUTO AND KUROO]

bokuto kotaro.

clueless: i’ve stated this in akaashi’s post, but bokuto is extremely emotionally intelligent. he can pick up on the slightest changes in people’s demeanor or posture, he can tell if someone is sad or happy even if they aren’t good at displaying emotions. he’s not a dumbass -- and he can pick up on others’ limits and boundaries very quickly. despite his ability to read people relatively well, he has no qualms about pushing people out of their comfort zones and forcing them to do things they might hate at first, but will love later. he pushes boundaries according to your comfort level, and respects your hard limits.

only positive: a lot of people write bokuto to be someone ho’s only happy-go-lucky, or someone who rarely gets sad (aside from his moods that are less sad and more discouraged), but I think that almost dehumanizes him. he gets back up faster than most, yes, and at the end of a lost game where everyone is crying, bokuto is dry-eyed. he’s the type to get home and plop down on his bed, face-first into his pillow, lips quivering and eyes lightly watering. there are times where he feels insecure, especially when he’s younger, just because he can tell he’s different from the rest. he has a feeling that people are put-off from his personality, he has a feeling that he’s not as (traditionally/academically) smart as everyone else, he has a feeling that some people find him annoying. that’s why when he’s near his close friends he’s very loose -- he doesn’t feel the need to hold back even a little because he knows that they love him for him. this translates to his toxic trait with his lover being that he feels dejected/insecure if you ever want space. while he can read boundaries, he would really benefit from a lover who has just as few as he, because then he can be his truest self.

love-at-first-sight: he’s not the type to fall in love at one glance, he’s just not. yes, he might get interested or you may catch his attention, but he’s not going to fall in love with someone because they have a pretty smile. it’s not that he’s calculated or over-thinks his emotions, he knows exactly what he feels, it’s just that his heart is a little slow when it comes to falling in love. he’s such an energetic all-over-the-place person that love is never really on his mind (he gets into some trouble with accidentally leading girls on because he’s so friendly). when he eventually falls in love, though....oh boy. he stutters, he’s over-thinking all his movements when it comes to you -- he’s usually impulsive but with you he really, really doesn’t want to screw up. he wants everything to go smoothly -- so he’s the type to plan out a confession and actually try to stick to it. when it comes to something like love, bokuto is surprisingly slow and careful, because he knows how fragile a heart is.

never gets angry: i think most people like to imagine his anger is so rare because the image of an angry bokuto is scary, especially with his stature. and while it’s true his anger is uncommon (because he’s good at processing his own emotions and not lashing out at others), when he does get angry it can be pretty unnerving. he’s the type to slam his fist on the counter unknowingly when having a really bad fight with his lover, and he has a booming voice. he’d never hit someone, but he doesn’t realize how intimidating his physique is. anger is uncommon, but that doesn’t mean he’s not scary. he always apologize afterwards, though.

boundless confidence: i touched on it earlier, that he has bouts of insecurity, but again, i really want to emphasize that he’s not endlessly confident. honestly, maybe in the anime and manga he seems that way, but if you want to make him more human, have more life than a fictional character, you have to create limits or certain traits. bokuto is very sensitive, and the slightest thing can either inflate his ego or deflate it. plays in volleyball constantly not working may dig at his confidence, but he always re-inflates. in real life, outside the court, there are things that keep his confidence low everytime they happen. fights with his lover are one of these things; he’ll get jealous when they leave the apartment after a fight because he’ll worry about you finding someone more stable than him. jealousy alone is a solid sign of chipped confidence, something that someone as sensitive as bokuto gets every once in a while.

overall, bokuto is a lot more intelligent than what people give him credit for. he’s honest with his own emotions and can read people very well, which is probably why he’s such a people person, but he still has flaws. he does not have boundless confidence or have no perception of boundaries; he’s unbelievably understanding. he may be initially insecure, have intimidating anger, etc. but ,after all, he’s human, isn’t he?

kuroo tetsuro.

sex god: don’t get me wrong, I definitely believe that he’s had a lover or two, especially in college, and that he’s played the field a little bit. but i don’t see him as the guy that has had sex with every person in his major. he’s a genuine guy and can’t have sex with someone he’s not emotionally invested in -- despite not being a ‘player’, he’s totally gotten in trouble with a few people because they think he’s leading them on when he walks with them to class everyday.

intimidating: people always characterize him as this mysterious, sexually intimidating guy, but i just can’t see him as someone intimidating. if anything, he may be a little unapproachable because he has a really tight knit group of friends that he’s always with, but he’s not scary. he’s not the center of attention but he’s not a wallflower either, he enjoys observing people and watching drama play out, but he’s not silent and glaring all the time. he’s quite fun, he’s loud, and he enjoys embarrassing his friends in public. he’s the type to twerk in public and laugh his ass off when akaashi or kenma give him the side-eye and bro-kuto joins in. he likes to have fun, ya know? i don’t know about you, but a guy that twerks in public isn’t very scary, to me at least.

prideful: I understand why people paint him as a prideful guy, he obviously likes what he does and has a personable personality, but honestly, he’s not perfect. he often has moments where he doubts himself because of his past decisions, his career one of them. kuroo is an amazing middle blocker, and his choice to go into sports advertisement rather than an actual volleyball league no doubt haunts him at night sometimes. he thinks of the ‘what-ifs’, and he dreams of what he could be. especially since his best friend is bokuto, a professional player, it’s often on his mind. it’s a super touchy subject for him, and if someone were to question his job-choice i have no doubt that he’d get really sour and distant from that person because he’s not sure of himself either.

frat boy: he’s not someone who can’t cook, he’s not someone who sleeps at 5am everyday, hungover. he’s not the type of person to be immature in any way -- he’s got his shit together. i’m sure most people can actually see this, but kuroo is very responsible and realistic (which is part of the reason he didn’t do professional volleyball). he does his taxes, does his homework, gives out good advice, gets up early and eats everything that a healthy person should eat (in all the right proportions, too). he doesn’t even drink often, if anything he’s just a social drinker. he goes to bed at 10pm and wakes up at 6am to work out, no joke. he’s gotta keep that physique somehow.

decisive: i know i said he’s responsible, but i don’t think that translates to decisive. i can see him having a lot of conflicting things going on in his life, different wants and different paths that he wants to take but can’t keep all open. it happens in love, his career, his college major, etc. he wants a lot in life, he wants success, happiness, a good love-life, everything. when he had to choose between volleyball and a life-long, stable career, he was broken for weeks. was he good enough for his dream? was it wise to chase his dream? would it be better to get more kids into volleyball, do what he did, what he couldn’t do? in his love life he always hesitates, too: does he see a life with them? how long will they love him? will they be able to deal with him once they see that he’s not perfect? is it worth it? it doesn’t matter if he’s in love or not, because his extreme caution can come off as very distant and unwilling to let you in, hence his toxic trait. he’s indecisive, scared, yet passionate and hard-working.

overall, kuroo is full of contradiction. he wants a lot from life and is willing to work for it. he has dreams and tries to stay healthy and put himself out there, have fun, the whole shabang -- but he’s not perfect. he’s overly cautious when it comes to making important decisions simply because he can see a future with all of the different paths he can take. but honestly, isn’t everyone a little contradictory?

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nancydrewwouldnever · 2 years ago

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I just can't believe he/his team thought he was going to come out of the age-gap discussion unscathed.// Honestly and cynically I am not surprised by his and his teams brazen attitude that he’d get out unscathed or with only minor scrapes. I’ve been a fan and in this fandom since 2017. He has had some negative press and rumors(true ones I’m sure) that his team did a wonderful job cleaning up and allowing him to continue with his “image.” I mean he started up with a married woman at one point. He is surrounded by people (team/fam/friends) that I do not doubt, believe they have his best interest at heart, but he is their golden ticket and that’s hard to not resist and say yes to no matter what. He has said he’s stubborn and mercurial and welcomes mistakes, all platitudes that sound like he is honest and aware about himself, but really it’s just to absolve him from behavior. So he has “grown up” through his 20s & 30s making impulsive and sometimes immature decisions than walking away as others clean it up or he posts a Dodger photo. This latest mess with AB, especially these last two weeks prove again that he gave into his arrogance by thinking his fans would be so overwhelmed with SMA that they’d be ok with this OR push for his “gf” to help her show and possibly his upcoming film, which by reports has not been received well. Just as many of us underestimated him he has underestimated his fans. But as they say desperate times call for desperate measures.

Please know I’m still a fan, I’m aware of his flaws and see them when he puts them on display, but I too made excuses for him from time to time, I mean those Dodger photos are a weakness of mine. But, if anything it has been disheartening to see Chris choose such a desperate and ridiculous route to garner attention and make himself and AB relevant through turning whatever their rs is into some pr. I do believe they have a rs just not sure what it is, BUT I’m certain it is not as earth shattering and lovey dovey as that People article attempted it to appear. So now we watch and wait, does he learn anything from this, do we. My bet is on us, only slightly, but still on us over him.

#ask #albagate

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myopinionhi · 4 years ago

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A Will Solace Character Analysis: the Underappreciated Soft Side

I've noticed many fanfictions have Will Solace OOC. So I’ve been thinking about aspects of Will’s personality fans seem to either gloss over or exaggerate. Here, this post is me doing an in-depth analysis explaining Will Solace’s canon personality in the books, and how it can sometimes differ from fanfictions. Sprinkled in this analysis are tips to fanfiction writers on how they write Will as more in-character.

There is one major aspect of Will that people seem to ignore or underemphasize. Nico best explains it when describing Will in this quote

Jason was a fighter. You could tell from the intensity of his stare, his constant alertness, the coiled-up energy in his frame. Will Solace was more like a lanky cat stretched out in sunshine. His movements were relaxed and nonthreatening, his gaze soft and far away. In his faded SURF BARBADOS T-shirt, his cutoff shorts and flip-flops, he looked about as aggressive as a demigod could get, but Nico knew he was brave under fire. During the Battle of Manhattan, Nico had seen him in action - the camp's best combat medic, risking his life to save wounded campers.

To sum it up, Will Solace is a very chill and calm character. A lot of writers make Will more irrational, impulsive, overbearing, and emotional than he actually is. Will is not the type of character to create drama unless he's, as Nico puts it, "under fire." In other words, the intense side of his personality doesn't come out unless the situation is urgent or dire.

Fans remember during the Second Giant War how he gets angry and argues with Nico over Nico's health and shadow-traveling, so many assume Will is going to be this fiery over a lot of other things regarding their relationship. For example, fanfic writers may make Will controlling or overly sensitive with Nico. However, keep in mind, Will gets heated with Nico during the Second Giant War because Nico's shadow-traveling is killing him. This is how Will describes Nico's dire state.

"Coach Hedge told me all about your shadow-travel. You can’t try that again."

"I just did try it again, Solace. I’m fine."

"No, you’re not. I’m a healer. I could feel the darkness in your hand as soon as I touched it. Even if you made it to that tent, you’d be in no shape to fight. But you wouldn’t make it. One more slip, and you won’t come back. You are not shadow-travelling. Doctor’s orders."

Will is a healer. When he touches Nico's hand, he can sense how little sleep and food Nico has been getting and how Nico's being taken over by darkness. Nico is on the verge of death and hasn't cared about his health for a long time. Nico is also stubborn about it, so Will has to be aggressive in order to save Nico's life. This aggressive behavior is not the norm for Will, but it can sometimes come out when he has to assert control in a life-or-death situation.

Will is a calming prescence. He's a diplomat. He stops violence on multiple occassions.

He's one of the few people who's able to calm Clarisse's violent rage, and he does so in a gentle manner.

Clarisse pointed her dagger at Rachel. "What about their allies, huh? Did you see that tribe of two-headed men that arrived yesterday? Or the glowing red dog-headed guys with the big poleaxes? They look pretty barbaric to me. It would’ve been nice if you’d foreseen any of that, if your Oracle power didn’t break down when we needed it most!"

Rachel’s face turned as red as her hair. "That’s hardly my fault. Something is wrong with Apollo’s gifts of prophecy. If I knew how to fix it –"

"She’s right." Will Solace, head counsellor for the Apollo cabin, put his hand gently on Clarisse’s wrist. Not many campers could’ve done that without getting stabbed, but Will had a way of defusing people’s anger. He got her to lower her dagger. "Everyone in our cabin has been affected. It’s not just Rachel."

One of the most underrated Will Solace moments is when he stops a bloody battle from happening between Camp Half-Blood and Camp Jupiter.

But he knew it wouldn’t do any good. After weeks of waiting, agonizing and steaming, the Greeks and Romans wanted blood. Trying to stop the battle now would be like trying to push back a flood after the dam broke.

Will Solace saved the day.

He put his fingers in his mouth and did a taxicab whistle even more horrible than the last. Several Greeks dropped their swords. A ripple went through the Roman line like the entire First Cohort was shuddering.

"DON’T BE STUPID!" Will yelled. "LOOK!"

People are so used to seeing demigods, especially male demigods, being aggressive fighters that they can't wrap their heads around a brave and strong demigod who actively tries to avoid unnecessary conflict and destruction as much as he can.

And that's Will Solace's strength: he has the ability to prevent as much harm as possible.

Will is a difficult character to write. There's a lot of dueling factors with his personality. He's calm and pacifying while also being brave and assertive. He's fun and lighthearted while also being intelligent, logical, and grounded. He's laidback while also being responsible and hardworking. He's insecure but not melodramatic. He's very caring and protective but not pushy.

Will's personality confuses Nico sometimes too.

He’d always thought of Will as easygoing and laid back. Apparently he could also be stubborn and aggravating.

The trick to writing Will is to keep in mind his default personality is a soft and lighthearted character. Writers tend to overemphasize the hard side of his personality when his default personality is actually the soft side.

Think of the relaxing, lanky cat metaphor Nico uses for him. He and Nico bicker often, and it works for Will because he rolls with everything and doesn't take things too seriously. He's able to alleviate Nico's moodiness with humor, wittiness, groundedness, and patience. Nico affectionately calls Will a "dork" because Will usually keeps things light. Interestingly enough, he's able to be lighthearted without coming across as insensitive or an airheaded goofball, the latter of which is something Nico dislikes about Percy's personality. On a related sidenote, another way writers make Will OOC is they make him too dumb or too immature. I know I mentioned to focus on Will's soft side, but be careful to avoid that too. He's a SENSIBLE, lanky cat.

The way Will keeps his composure during a stressful situation by using laughter while still being mature is expressed well in this exchange with Apollo. (Yes, Will has a lot to manage.)

It was difficult to think of this young man as my son. He was so poised, so unassuming, so free of acne. He also didn’t appear to be awestruck in my presence. In fact, the corner of his mouth had started twitching.

“Are—are you amused?” I demanded.

Will shrugged. “Well, it’s either find this funny or freak out. My dad, the god Apollo, is a fifteen-year-old—”

“Sixteen,” I corrected. “Let’s go with sixteen.”

“A sixteen-year-old mortal, lying in a cot in my cabin, and with all my healing arts—which I got from you—I still can’t figure out how to fix you.”

“There is no fixing this,” I said miserably. “I am cast out of Olympus. My fate is tied to a girl named Meg. It could not be worse!”

Will laughed, which I thought took a great deal of gall. “Meg seems cool. She’s already poked Connor Stoll in the eyes and kicked Sherman Yang in the crotch.”

The fiercer side of Will's personality comes out only when the situation calls for it; this happens sometimes when he has to be a caring family member, a responsible healer, or a warrior in a dire situation. Even when he gets more forceful, he doesn't get more forceful than he has to.

Since Will has such a balanced and lighthearted personality, what are his flaws? What are the dark sides of his personality? There are four main things that stick out.

1. He's insecure about his self-perceived lack of abilities.

"I agree," Will said. "I wish I was a better archer … I wouldn’t mind shooting my Roman relative off his high horse. Actually, I wish I could use any of my father’s gifts to stop this war." He looked down at his own hands with distaste. "Unfortunately, I’m just a healer."

2. He sometimes struggles to endure the heavy responsibilities he has as a healer and as a protector to his family.

“I got it reattached,” Will told me, his voice shaky with exhaustion. His scrubs were speckled with blood. “I need somebody to keep him stable.”

I pointed to the woods. “But—”

“I know!” Will snapped. “Don’t you think I want to be out there searching too? We’re shorthanded for healers. There’s some salve and nectar in that pack. Go!”

I was stunned by his tone. I realized he was just as concerned about Kayla and Austin as I was. The only difference: Will knew his duty. He had to heal the injured first. And he needed my help.

3. He forces himself to bottle his emotions to keep his composure.

Will laughed under his breath. “I’m terrified. But one thing you learn as head counselor: you have to keep it together for everyone else. Let’s get you on your feet."

Here's a second example.

I rested my hand on Will’s shoulder. “Don’t worry. We’ll be back by dawn.”

His mouth trembled ever so slightly. “How can you be sure?”

4. He constantly worries about his loved ones.

Nico rested his hand on Will’s shoulder. “Apollo, we were worried. Will was especially.”

In conclusion, Will Solace's personality is difficult to get correct. But don't worry, if you write Will as a laidback, witty cat in your fanfics, I guarantee he'll be more in-character than many other fanfics with Will Solace.

(Note: I am only human. If you believe I'm misinterpreting some aspects of Will's personality, feel free to express it. What I say isn't 100 percent the right interpretation.)

#pjo #percy jackson and the olympians #will solace #nico di angelo #solangelo #percy jackson #heroes of olympus #trials of apollo #spoilers #meta #character analysis #fanfic #fanfiction #blood of olympus #hidden oracle #long post #toa #hoo #apollo

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lesbianrobin · 3 years ago

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What do you think are the good and bad aspects of each season of ST?

ok 1. thank u for this question omg and 2. this answer may or may not be a mess, but either way it’s long (almost 7k words lmao) bc i’m insane, which is why it’s under a cut. it’s still by no means an exhaustive list but these are the things that just kinda came to mind.

also i realize you asked “good and bad” and i wrote this whole post as “strengths and weaknesses” which um. is not Exactly what you asked. but close enough <3 i also ended up including a lot of au ideas ksjdckmn bc like i personally hate when people say a certain plot or whatever was bad without suggesting anything that could have improved it yknow so whenever possible i tried to provide Some idea for fixing the issues i had with the show!!

season 1

strengths (this is probably gonna be the longest section but that’s because a lot of these strengths also apply to s2/s3 by default)

nostalgia and authenticity

this one’s pretty simple, but i think that season one did a good job of blending classic eighties media homages (such as the many many e.t./el parallels) with explicit pop culture references (such as mike’s yoda impression, mentions of the x-men, etc) to create a show that’s essentially dripping in early eighties nostalgia without it feeling too forced. before st, i think the most popular depiction of the eighties in mainstream media was that overly exaggerated neon scrunchie aesthetic from the mid to late eighties, and it was usually done in a comedic sense first and foremost. st took a different approach, instead focusing on the early eighties, a time that’s often ignored in favor of going either Full Seventies or Full Eighties, and i think that this choice likely resonated with adults who lived through the eighties and hadn’t yet seen something that felt quite so accurate to their own adolescence. a lot of young people who watched st were totally unfamiliar with this period of time, unfamiliar with books/movies like “stand by me” that st borrows from heavily, and i think st lent more seriousness to the eighties than most young people had experienced so far, and this was refreshing and interesting!

the use of dnd in the show is also quite genius in a way i’m not sure i can articulate?? it isn’t something Everyone would have played at the time, but it’s something that existed within a different context back in the eighties than it does today, and it really lent a sort of authenticity to the naming of the show’s sci-fi elements. like, of course these kids would name parallel dimensions and monsters and superpowers after these similar things in their favorite game! it just feels so real and it grounds st in our reality moreso than you might expect from the typical sci-fi or horror universe.

utilization of existing tropes

almost every single character in st clearly originates from some popular trope. the plot itself is riddled with classic eighties movie tropes. almost every single element of stranger things can be clearly traced back to some iconic eighties film or just to, like, overused horror/sci-fi/mystery/coming-of-age movie tropes in general. this might sound like a bad thing, but it really works in st’s favor! starting off with familiar tropes gives st the ability to easily create a lot of complexity and make a big impact by selectively deviating from those familiar, comfortable tropes!! while el’s whole plot, hopper’s character, etc, are all examples of this in action, i think the steve/nancy/jonathan plot is the greatest example. even from the start, the fact that good girl barb dies while nancy is off having sex with her asshole boyfriend is an incredibly thorough inversion of the most well-known horror movie trope in the book. how often do girls in horror movies have sex for the first time, walk home alone in the dark of night, and live to tell the tale? nancy and jonathan’s dynamic at first glance is a sort of classic “good girl meets boy from the wrong side of the tracks, discovers he’s actually got a heart of gold” thing, but instead of following this well-trodden path, st diverged. nancy is brash, impulsive, and at times downright insensitive. jonathan is angry, bitter, and actually a bit of a creep at first. while they have the capacity to emotionally connect and support one another, they can also bring out each other’s darker side, which is not what we’ve come to expect from that initial tropey dynamic.

in addition, steve, the popular rich asshole boyfriend, is actually... a human being! unlike the cartoonishly evil jocks that we’ve come to expect (especially from eighties movies), steve has complexity. despite his initial immaturity and selfishness, he’s also kind to barb, he backs off when nancy says no, he’s gentle and sweet when they sleep together, his first big Dick Move of the season is in defense of nancy, he realizes the error of his ways after the fight and does what he can to fix it, he’s worried about nancy when he sees that she’s hurt at jonathan’s house, and to top it all off, he ends up saving both nancy and jonathan’s lives when he could have just walked away, and the three of them all work together to fight the demogorgon. like... steve began as the most stereotypical character of all time, and by the end of the season, he had one of the most compelling and unique arcs among the whole cast!

finally, at the very end of the season, instead of dumping steve for jonathan as expected, nancy ends up getting back together with steve, and they’re both on friendly terms with jonathan. i realize that i just kinda. summarized s1. but my POINT is that i don’t think the dynamics between the monster hunting trio would be nearly as fun and interesting had the characters of nancy, steve, and jonathan not been set up to follow certain paths that we already had charted in our own heads. like, within the first couple episodes of s1, it’s pretty obvious that nancy and steve are gonna break up, nancy will get with jonathan, and steve will either die or go full evil or just never be seen again. like, duh! you’ve seen this story a million times! you know that’s how it’s gonna go! so, when the story DOESN’T go that way, the impact of each character’s arc and the relationship dynamics become stronger due to their unexpected complexity and authenticity.

distinct plotlines separated by age group

this one’s rather obvious, but the way that the adults in s1 were essentially in a conspiracy thriller while the teens were in a horror flick and the kids were in a sci fi power-of-friendship story and all three converged at the end... wow. brilliant showstopping etc. not only was it just really well done and unique, it also gave stranger things near-universal appeal. like, there’s genuinely something for pretty much everyone in season one!

casting

obviously this applies to every season sorta by default, but when i think about what made season one So successful, i always think about the cast, and not just winona ryder. yes, she’s absolutely amazing in the show and it’s very doubtful that st would be as big as it is today without her name being attached to it from the start!! however, i think the greatest determining factor in st’s success is the casting of the kids, particularly millie bobby brown. like... el is just absolutely incredible. she’s amazing. this has all been said many times before so i won’t harp on it, but millie and the other kids are all So talented and charismatic and i think their casting has been instrumental to the show’s success.

strong visuals

the way that multicolored christmas lights which have been around for decades are now kinda like. a Stranger Things thing. jesus christ. those lights are probably the biggest stroke of stylistic genius on the show.

atmosphere and setting

this is probably like. the least important one here for me sdjncdsc because i think s2 and s3 both had like Even Better atmospheres and shit but s1 was good too and it laid the groundwork!! i know a lot of people would have preferred st be set somewhere more Spooky with lots of fog or giant forests or whatnot, and while i do enjoy thinking about alternate st settings and how they might alter the vibe, i think hawkins indiana was a good choice. as the duffers have said, placing stranger things in a fictional town allows them more flexibility than if they’d gone with their original plan of using montauk, new york. besides that, i think the plainness and like... flatness... of small-town indiana just Works. like, the fact that hawkins is never really scary on the surface is a big part of the horror in the lab’s actions and their impact. hawkins isn’t somewhere that people just disappear all the time. it isn’t somewhere known for strange occurrences (prior to s1, that is). it isn’t somewhere shrouded in mist and secrecy. hawkins on its surface seems like the sort of place with no secrets and nothing to fear, and that’s the point! the lab is out in the open! it’s right there! everything is so close to the surface, yet so far out of the public eye, and i think that really works.

the byers family’s whole deal (specifically the joyce/jonathan dynamic)

this is going here bc i miss it so bad in s2 and s3. i’m not one of those people who believe The Byers Are The Whole Point of the show, because st is and always has been an ensemble, and el, hopper, and the wheelers are just as instrumental to the plot as the byers, but ANYWAY, i do think the byers were one of the most interesting aspects of s1. joyce’s difficulties with supporting her sons as a poor and (implied mentally ill) single mother, jonathan’s stress as a result of having to earn money, care for his brother, and keep the house in order when his mother is unable to do so, and the resulting tension between them when will’s disappearance and supposed “death” brings the situation to a tipping point? holy shit! it’s so good! that argument after they see will’s “body” is just incredible and gut-wrenching. their relationship feels so real and messy and i think it’s just... good. also winona ryder REALLY acted her heart out and she carried a lot of s1 which i think people often forget to mention so i’m saying it here.

weaknesses

pacing/timing

ok so pacing is probably going to go in each season’s weaknesses, to be honest, because i think they all had a blend of some good and some bad pacing. good pacing is invisible pacing, though, so i probably won’t be putting it in any of the strengths sections and will only be focusing on it in the weaknesses. i’m also probably not going to talk about weird day/night cycle things, just because i don’t want to get nitpicky on timelines because that would require going back and rewatching things to double check timing which i don’t wanna do at the moment lmao. anyway, when i think of bad pacing in season one, i primarily think of two things: nancy’s little trip into the upside down and subsequent sleepover with jonathan, and the sort of staggered nature of the climax in the final episode. the latter is simple so i’ll explain it first: while i understand that each group’s respective climax is like part of a chain reaction and that’s why each big moment happens separately and at different times, i think that st is strongest when the whole group is together, and i think that makes the stakes feel higher too, so i’m not In Love with the way s1 separated everyone and gave each group their own climax.

okay, now on to the nancy/upside down thing! idk if i’ve ever talked about it before, but i think the worst decision made in s1 by far is the inclusion of nancy’s brief trip into the upside down, wherein she dives headfirst into another dimension with absolutely no backup, watches the demogorgon chow down, freaks out and runs around for a minute, and then leaves. like... what the fuck? even putting aside what an idiotic decision this was (because i do think nancy’s tendency to rush into things headfirst is an intentional and consistent character trait), it just kind of destroys any remaining suspense surrounding the demogorgon and the upside down, and it accomplishes basically nothing besides scaring nancy enough to have jonathan sleep over, which is lame. i will break it down.

like, first of all, nancy just getting to waltz in and out of the upside down and get a good, long look at the demogorgon makes the entire thing far less mysterious, and by extension far less scary. like... before this scene, we the audience haven’t got a good look at the demogorgon. we’ve seen its silhouette briefly and we’ve seen a blurry picture of it, but nothing more, and i think that is far more effective at building fear than this jaunt nancy goes on which gives us a full view of the thing and makes it into less of a horrifying nightmare and into more of a humanoid animal. like, maybe this is just me, but i found the demogorgon far less intimidating after that scene than before. it also lets nancy and jonathan know For Sure that they’re right without providing any crucial information that they need to fight the demogorgon (aka it’s unnecessary to the plot), which removes a very compelling story element (the faith nancy and jonathan need to have in order to keep going against a vague and poorly understood enemy, the doubt they might have about each other and their own sanity, the possibility that they might be wrong, the trust they need to have in each other) a bit earlier in the plot than i believe is ideal. at the end of episode 5, nancy goes into the upside down and jonathan doesn’t know where she is and it’s intense!!! you’re thinking like, oh fuck, not only is nancy missing and fighting for her life now too, jonathan might be implicated in her disappearance!! some people already think he’s the one who killed will and people know that he took creepy pictures of barb and nancy before they both disappeared, maybe this is gonna cause some serious problems for him!! maybe nancy will find will in the upside down and she’ll help him survive!! fuck, maybe she’ll actually die!! this is huge!! and then episode 6 starts and they’re immediately like oh nevermind jonathan found the tree and got nancy out and she’s fine. my point with all of this is that nancy entering the upside down could have done A Lot in the grand scheme of the plot, but all it did was just... get jonathan to sleep over so he and nancy could have some awkward romance moments and steve could see them together and pick a fight. which could have honestly happened at Any point while nancy and jonathan were working together to hunt down the demogorgon, without ruining the demogorgon’s and the upside down’s mystique. so yeah <3

weird behavior and dumbass decisions that make no sense (aka the whole camera thing)

gonna go off about the teen plot again sorry but: why was nancy so unbothered and quick to forgive jonathan for taking those pictures? girl what the fuck are you doing? why wasn’t that a bigger deal? why was jonathan’s motivation for doing it so weak and why did they just kind of forget about the whole thing? why did nancy TRACK HIM DOWN AT THE FUNERAL HOME while he was PICKING OUT HIS BABY BROTHER’S CASKET to be like hey can you tell me what’s in this creepshot you took? it’s insane. it’s so insane. i mean i think the funeral home thing is hilarious and i don’t mind it being in the show necessarily but like my point here is that i think a lot of character decisions in s1 just kind of.. happened because they Needed to happen for the plot. like, they wrote this plot that required jonathan to be secretly taking pictures of the party and required him and nancy to work together after seeing something odd in the pictures, but they didn’t like... really consider what that event would mean for their characterization and relationship. the whole thing was sort of just dropped with minimal discussion and i think it did both nancy and jonathan’s characters a disservice and was really mishandled.

lighting and saturation/color grading

i am literally begging horror/sci-fi shows to let me see shit. i GET IT okay i understand that when you’re doing cgi effects it helps to keep the lights down and i’m not mad at any of the lighting in the demogorgon/upside down scenes!! i’m really not i think the demogorgon scenes in s1 all look sick!! but like... dude. the colors. where are they. why does everyone look like a vampire. i know blah blah this was probably an intentional stylistic choice intended to mimic film at the time blah blah but dude a lot of old movies are very colorful!! please just let people have color in their faces so everyone doesn’t look like a sheet of paper!!! also i’m white and not a professional lighting designer so yknow grain of salt but i think lucas was kinda poorly served by the lighting sometimes in s1. not Hugely so, not to the degree that i’ve seen poc be poorly served by lighting in other shows, but there were some times where it felt kinda like the lighting setup was just not designed with darker skin in mind.

horror

i just personally don’t find s1 very scary like... ever. i don’t think they were really Trying to be extremely scary yknow so i’m not counting this as a big deal, but i do think that each season has improved on the horror aspects. i think s1′s horror lies more in the mystery and the unknown than in what’s seen onscreen, and as i’ve said already, i think s1 kind of fumbled that suspense ball.

season 2

strengths

the possession plot

i’ll warn u rn this whole s2 strengths section is probably gonna be really short bc idk like. how much there is to really say i feel like it’s all so self-explanatory skjncmn. anyway yeah the possession plot!! eerie as fuck, and noah OWNED. so did winona tbh and finn and sean etc but like. noah. wow! i think the possession plot helped the show maintain a good amount of tension and suspense throughout the season, and a lot of scenes with possessed!will are flatout disturbing to watch. in a good way. i think the mindflayer and will’s possession were far more genuinely frightening than s1′s demogorgon, and it provided a new layer of depth and intrigue to the antagonist besides just “bad monster want eat people.”

tone and aesthetics

halloween season... literally halloween season. halloween season. that is all.

actually i will elaborate a bit and just say that i think s2 did a good job of having the sort of foreboding vibe that s1 was often going for, but without the annoying darkness and desaturation. so points for that.

also st2 is like one of the best Autumn pieces of media ever like it just. like steve and dustin on those train tracks with the fallen leaves all around them.... god. god the vibes are unparalleled. all of the halloween stuff also really contributes to the nostalgia st runs on yknow it makes you think about childhood and trick-or-treating and you kind of get transported like damn... i remember going to the rich neighborhoods to score the good candy..... idk i just think the whole thing is incredibly effective.

“babysitter” steve

by sending nancy and jonathan off together, the show created a problem: what to do with steve? this problem pushed them to create the unconventional and unexpected duo of steve and dustin, and the world is so much brighter for it. seriously though we all know steve and dustin are great i don’t need to argue that point. all i’ll add is that i think allowing steve to grow in this way, serving as a mentor figure and becoming genuine friends with someone so unexpected, really took the originality of his character to the next level. no longer content just to defy his archetype, in s2 steve begins branching out in ways that never would have been considered in s1, creating an incredibly complex and interesting person from the sort of character that most shows would have simply written out or killed off for convenience’s sake. and it works and steve and dustin are such a joy to watch and i love them. <3

the lucas/max plot

so first of all max mayfield is the most perfect baby girl on god’s green earth and idk what i would do without her but anyway. i think lumax is the best romantic relationship in the show and not just because they’re the only ones with like an age-appropriate approach to the whole thing. it’s also because their relationship accomplishes more than just putting the two of them in a relationship!! lucas and max spending time together motivates billy to do his evil shit, providing more conflict in the narrative, and it also helps establish max as part of the group in a relatively natural way while giving both her and lucas a great subplot. lucas (and dustin) has a crush on the new girl, they start spending some time together, and lucas ends up needing to decide whether he’ll keep the secret of the upside down and lose her, or risk both of their lives by telling her the truth. that’s a pretty big, character-defining decision that he gets to make!! max has to choose whether to trust this boy she barely knows and endanger herself, or to walk away and stay safe, yet another great character-defining choice that also contributes to the sense we get as an audience of max as somebody who’s incredibly lonely and desperate for love and connection. this post is way too long already and i have a ton more to say so i’ll stop now but yeah i think lumax really Works in the show without ever distracting or detracting from the overall plot and narrative in the way that some other ships (coughjancycough) often do.

balance between the normal and abnormal

s2 i think did a pretty solid job of melding daily life with more fantastical sci-fi horror elements. i enjoyed seeing so much of the kids at school in the first few episodes!! you really get a strong sense of where they’re at in life, what their daily lives are like, and you get a sort of gradual shift into madness that makes everything feel more grounded than i think it would if they had just leapt straight into the horror shit, yknow?

the el and hopper dynamic

go back and rewatch s2 and tell me that’s not one of the most moving portrayals of parenthood and trauma and growing up that you’ve ever seen. you can’t. or well you can but i won’t listen. i really can’t imagine stranger things without el and hopper’s relationship, and it’s my absolute favorite part of s2. their whole dynamic is so beautiful and complex, and gives them each amazing personal arcs in addition! the black hole scene is literally one of the show’s greatest moments of all time. any given scene between the two of them in s2 is just guaranteed to be heartwarming as well as heartbreaking, and i think that makes for an incredible show.

weaknesses

flashbacks

okay this applies to Every season they All have too many flashbacks but in s2 specifically... please stop showing me shit from season one. i watched it. i know what happened. you don’t need to spoon feed everything to me!! flashbacks can be a really helpful way of delivering information to an audience, but st has a bad habit of not only being kinda demeaning in how often they flash back to shit that the audience already knows, but they also have a bad habit of using flashbacks almost as a crutch to avoid having to deliver information subtly and naturally.

you know i gotta say it... the lost sister

this is so sad. the lost sister really is like a great concept for an st episode, and i’m not mad about the idea of st taking a break from the normal action to focus on one story for a full episode, but the execution of it was just dreadful. kali and her crew feel very over-the-top and stereotypical, and its placement in the season totally kills the tension and excitement that was built in “the spy.”

i think the lost sister honestly could have gone over far better, even with the stereotypical fake-feeling gang kali has, if they had just swapped it with “the spy” like... ok, the end of episode five has el setting off to find kali and will collapsing on the ground seizing. right? imagine if, instead of immediately following will to the lab, we’d followed el. we don’t know what’s happening with will, but it’s a very simple cliffhanger that leaves us on edge without making us feel cheated by the show cutting away. we follow el on her little journey, everything happens much the same as canon, and then at the end, el sees hopper in scrubs. she sees mike, screaming, sees that they’re both in danger. holy shit!!! what the fuck!!! what’s happened since we left will seizing on the ground??? we feel el’s fear and confusion. she decides to go home. and then... boom. “the lost sister” is over. now, we rewind, right back to will seizing on the ground, and “the spy” commences. we learn how they got into the danger that el saw in the end of “the lost sister,” and we sit on the edge of our seats all through “the spy” and “the mind flayer,” KNOWING that el is on her way back to save them but not knowing when she’ll arrive!! idk i don’t think that would have necessarily saved lost sister but i think it may have alleviated some of the issues that i and many others have with it, timing-wise.

the nancy/jonathan sidequest

once again, the idea of nancy going off on her own little mission to find justice for barb after s1 is like. amazing. genuinely i love that plot for her and i can’t imagine anything better for her to have focused on in s2. unfortunately though i think her and jonathan’s little trip to see murray was just kind of... lame. the whole thing just felt like an excuse to get the two of them alone together, yknow? which is fine i guess people contrive all sorts of situations to get characters alone together for romance reasons but in this case i think it just really doesn’t work for me because of what it’s juxtaposed with. like, will is POSSESSED, and jonathan is just off on a mini road trip and sleeping with his bestie, and jonathan never seems to communicate to joyce/will that he left town, and joyce never like... thinks to tell him that will is like sick and fucked up and they’re looking at him in the lab??? like it’s so weird i know joyce always forgets about jonathan when shit’s happening with will but jfc you’d think at some point in that like... 72-ish-hour period where jonathan was out of town she would have thought about him. like at least once. maybe i’m forgetting something and she mentioned him sometime and i missed it but even still, i hate the juxtaposition of nancy and jonathan just like cheers-ing at murray’s place and sleeping together and whatnot while everyone else is dealing with possession or trying to hunt down dart yknow? it feels really boring in comparison and i think it could have been done far better. like it was SO insanely easy for them to get into the lab and get an admission of guilt and escape with it!! i think it might have been a lot more engaging if maybe someone from the lab tailed them to murray’s place and they had to like lose the tail and race to get the recording out to as many news outlets as possible before they got caught, or something like that. the tension in their plotline is completely resolved in episode four!! episodes five and six are just them screwing around and addressing envelopes. while there were a lot of strong ideas in this plotline (i really enjoy nancy going out of her way to get justice, and the fact that they have to water down the story to make it believable), i just think the focus on nancy and jonathan getting together hindered it a lot without adding a ton to the plot or their individual characters.

season 3

strengths

starcourt mall as a setting

while i don’t think the mall was utilized quite to its full potential (something i could make a separate post about if anyone’s interested), i do think that starcourt was a genius addition to the series. i’ve said this before, but building a new mall is a literal Perfect in-universe justification for a significant leap forward in fashion and aesthetics, and it provides a great location for characters to just... be characters. idk how else to articulate this i just think that the mall is a great setting to let people interact with each other and to bring people together who may not have been otherwise (i.e. scoops troop). not to mention how sick it was to see the mall get wrecked toward the end kdjncdkm like they were able to do so much more with the mall in terms of like The Finale than they could with just the byers house or the cabin or the school or even the lab. i love all the back tunnels they run through it’s such a fun like acknowledgement of how this glitzy eighties mall is just a real place where employees get shipments and take out the trash and shit idk it’s all about the perfect facade and what’s hidden what’s underneath what’s hiding in plain sight etc etc i’m just saying words now. anyway.

willingness to experiment and go against expectations

gay robin. neon aesthetics. giant fucking meat monster. i know some people hate both the neon and the meat monster but i personally think they were kind of amazing and like. yknow regardless of personal tastes i think it’s impossible to deny that s3 had a lot of incredible visuals, and they’re all visuals that just wouldn’t have been possible if the show were too afraid to stray from its s1 aesthetic. robin being canonically gay (and her resulting friendship with steve) and the season’s striking visuals are two things that most everyone (besides like homophobes skjncdknm) can agree were great, right? and they were both departures from where the show began and what we all expected!! so yeah i think while some of the experimentation in s3 wasn’t ideal it was also that experimentation that allowed for some of the season’s strongest elements to come about.

the hospital sequence (and the season’s action/horror scenes in general)

this one is fairly self-explanatory. while they may have underutilized the “body snatching” element of the season, the hospital sequence with nancy and jonathan fighting off their possessed bosses did an amazing job of building tension and creating a genuine sense of really intense and personal danger.

in general i think that s3 melded action and horror rather well, particularly in the sauna test, the hospital, and when the mindflayer busts through the roof of hop’s cabin. horror can come from many things, and in this case, st elicited horror largely from the feeling of helplessness, and it was really effective for me personally. i think it worked better for me than s1′s brand of horror because it doesn’t rely so much on a lack of knowledge or a sense of suspense that inevitable disappears upon a second viewing.

the body horror we got in s3 was also really fun! that’s it i just think all the blood and guts and slime were fun and i would like more of them. once again, the impacts of body horror are less dependent upon the viewer being in the dark or unsure as to what’s happening, and as such i think it tends to be a little more effective at eliciting reaction in the long term.

timing and mechanics of the battle of starcourt/finale

i think the battle of starcourt is just fucking awesome, and beyond that personal opinion, i think it’s the most high-stakes and intense finale of all three seasons, and this is for two main reasons! 1. el is out of commission, and 2. (almost) everyone is in the same cental location. this means that (almost) everyone is in danger all at once, and they are all working together at the same time to fight the same threat. s1/s2 have their groups more fragmented for the finales, and while i understand why in each case and i wouldn’t call either season’s finale necessarily weak, i do think the centralized nature of the s3 finale just Works on another level. in s1 and s2, large segments of the cast are already perfectly safe by the time el dispatches the primary threat. in s3, however, everybody save for dustin and erica is still in danger up until the last moment, and el is seemingly (you can def debate how much power she still had in her when she peeked into billy’s mind and whether the memory broke the mindflayer’s hold on him or if she was actually controlling him to some degree) completely vulnerable. this increases the tension and raises the stakes, making the finale a real crescendo to fortissimo as opposed to a series of little mezzo forte moments. i hope everyone reading this knows music idk how else to phrase that my brain is stupid.

emphasis on friendship and adolescence (but in a different way than s1/2)

this is definitely a controversial one but i think that s3 really did like... show a side of friendship that had been more or less unexplored thus far in the show. el and max were amazing, and i think it’s really nice that we got an opportunity to see the kids have some growing pains as well as see them support each other through Normal Adolescent Stuff like boyfriends and breakups instead of just like. death and trauma. this is maybe just a personal preference, but i think it can be really enlightening and provide a lot of depth when you get to see how characters respond to normal everyday conflict and not just how they respond to giant world-ending conflict!! letting el use her powers for goofy teenage shit like spying on boys and messing with mean girls at the mall is not only fun for her and the audience, but it also really emphasizes just how much those powers are a part of el, making it that much more devastating when she loses them at the end of the season.

weaknesses

tonal dissonance

so this is like. obvious. but it must still be said! i won’t go on and on about it since we all know this so i’ll try to like talk about it from an angle people don’t usually? anyway. it seems to me like they were maybe a little worried about s3 being too dark. while the choice to really lean into humor was definitely driven by the sorts of eighties teen films from which s3 drew inspiration (like fast times at ridgemont high), i think it was also done in an attempt to alleviate the more troubling implications of some events in the season, particularly the russian bunker plot. like, yeah, st can be incredibly dark, but if they’d played the whole “children being stuck inside of a foreign military base, tied up, tortured, and drugged” thing completely straight without the humorous elements that exist in canon, it had the potential to be like... disturbing on a new level. steve and robin don’t have powers like el yknow their kidnapping/torture doesn’t have any sci-fi elements to sorta soften the blow. they’re just innocent teenagers being brutalized and traumatized by grown men. so anyway yeah i think maybe the writers were concerned about this storyline coming off as too dark and they wanted it to be a little more whimsical but they ended up pushing way too hard in that direction and creating extreme dissonance at times. this goes for joyce/hopper/murray/alexei too, but to a lesser extent. i think the ridiculousness in that group felt a lot more like... realistic. but still.

newspaper plot

once again i feel like i don’t even need to say this skjdncmn we all know it was insane how the show basically ended up delivering the message “while misogyny is a serious problem poverty and classism are not” and i’ve said it on this blog a million times so i don’t need to repeat myself. i’ll focus on another weak point of this plot: the fact that it completely separates nancy and jonathan from everyone else. once again, the show’s preoccupation with j/ancy held them back! like... can you imagine a version of s3 where nancy and jonathan both worked in the mall? i have a lot of ideas about this possible au and like how the plot could play out differently if they worked in the mall but first of all it’s just more realistic, second of all it further utilizes the mall as a central setting, and third of all, it would bring everyone together. as it is in canon, nancy and jonathan were unnecessarily isolated from the rest of the group, and this isolation was detrimental to both of their characters. like, they only ever get to interact with each other! if they’d gotten summer jobs in the mall, they could have had more interactions with the kids/steve/robin, and they absolutely still could have had a similar argument! maybe in this case, nancy notices the rat thing (or something else odd) herself when taking out the trash behind the mall, and she wants jonathan to ditch work with her to check it out bc she thinks it may be related to the lab. jonathan doesn’t want to ditch work because he needs his job, nancy argues that they’re working shitty mall jobs anyway and who cares if they get fired, and we get more or less the same thing as s3 without the cartoonishly over-the-top misogyny. i mean honestly i think the rat shit could have been cut entirely it didn’t rly... accomplish much of anything. in my opinion. like imagine s3 without the rat plot you literally would not be missing anything except it would be more surprising when the dudes melted into goo at the hospital. so yeah i think it would have been better if nancy and jonathan had jobs at the mall, weren’t isolated from everybody else, and were maybe absorbed into the party’s plot or the scoops troop’s plot from very early on, allowing them to interact with more characters and have a less... dumb.... plot. like god splitting up nancy and jonathan between the party/scoops troop would have been So Much better i just. sdkjcnksdmn anyway yeah.

briefness of group reunion/separation of groups

remember in s2 at the beginning of “the gate,” where mike and hopper had a confrontation and max and el met for the first time and el hugged everyone and steve and nancy had their sad little moment together outside... where’s that energy? obviously the s2 reunion wasn’t that long either, but it made space for some significant emotional moments to take place. s3′s reunion had some hopper/el/mike resolution, but besides that... there was nothing, really. i just think that the whole group getting together in s3 was SO exciting and powerful the way they did it (with both the scoops troop and the adults having their own Big Moment reconnecting with team griswold family), but the emotional potential was more or less squandered.

i also think in s3 at times they were really stretching to keep everybody separated even though it made no sense. and like... in s1 the separation worked bc nobody else knew that (x group) was experiencing weird shit too, and beyond that, each group (as i mentioned in the s1 section) was sort of operating within their own genre and bringing something unique to the season. they’ve stopped doing that though! now, the groups aren’t separate bc each plot is tonally/structurally different, the groups are just separate bc... they need to be, because it’s a big ensemble cast and you can’t just have them all be together for a whole season or it would be way too difficult to coordinate things and keep the show dynamic. all this is to say that i’m excited for s4 because the location differences make it so there’s a Reason for each plot to be separate at the beginning, and i think that’ll work better.

general ridiculousness

i dont mean like i think it’s bad that they made jokes this is just me lumping in all the dumb shit like hopper not worrying about el and not wanting to check on the kids, him and joyce bickering long after they both know they and their children are in danger, max seemingly forgetting that billy is a racist abuser, etc etc. i think many of these are just a symptom of the show 1. trying desperately to keep the groups split up a certain way even though it may not make any sense, and 2. trying to fit into a certain genre/trope mold when their actual characters are more complex than the tropes they’re imitating. this is so fucking long already i am not gonna elaborate further rn but i trust u all know what i mean.

soooo... yeah, that’s about all! i mean it’s not all there are definitely many more things i could talk about and i know i focused sorta disproportionately on the teens which is my bad :/ but i’m done for now. thank you for asking, and apologies for the delay in responding!! i’m sure some people reading (if anyone read this far) will disagree with some of what i’ve said and that’s alright like i’m not The Authority on st or anything i’m just trying to talk about like my own thoughts yknow? so yeah luv u all i hope someone enjoyed reading this!!

#asks #em talks #lesbianrobin.canon #stranger things #if u actually read all this i love u and im sorry #these r just my opinions!! and im sure i misremembered some shit my brain is swiss cheese #i did my best tho

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yan-genshin · 4 years ago

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Hi! May I request yan! Aether with s/o that is/was really in love with him? 💙

a/n: aha you now get to witness MY aether characterization. i play the game with lumine but i do love braid boy quite a bit!

warnings: general yandere themes, mentions of violence and blood

❥ aether

he doesn’t really know life outside of what he’d been doing for eons- traveling from world to world alongside his sister. that was all he’d done, all he’d wanted to do; and as he stands now, stranded in teyvat, stripped off his wings and powers, of his twin, aether needs some sort of pillar to lean onto

his darling knows this- knows that aether is an outlander, that he’s deeply hurt by his sister’s disappearance- so it’s easy to excuse his clinginess at first. even if he always seems to be eager to help and rather unshaken, he’s been through a lot: it’s ok to let him be a little possessive, isn’t it?

aether is greedy with how he takes his darling’s love. before, he’d never even thought about romantic affection; he’d been content to just travel the world next to lumine, fighting and exploring by her side. but now, aether seems to take and take and take all his darling has to offer- their attention, their time, their everything if they’ll let him. he doesn’t particularly know he’s being greedy, after all, it’s the first time he’s felt like this.

but just because he’s found love doesn’t mean he’s giving up on his sister. aether doesn’t see what the problem is on taking his beloved along with him; doesn’t see what’s so wrong with uprooting their entire life in the city, taking them along to the dangers of the wild, taking the warm bed they used to sleep on and exchanging it into cramped camping cots haphazardly set up in makeshift tents or humid caves.

it wouldn’t be too far from the truth to say he drags them along, but he doesn’t quite force them. they love him, they really do: enough so that when he asks them to please accompany him, saying he’s just headed to liyue, it won’t be that bad, they believe him even though they know aether has a tendency to run and fight any hilichurl camp he sees, know that he camps out in the wild just to hunt and explore old ruins on side roads nobody crosses anymore

on the second week of following aether, they begin to miss home. love can only take them so far- and it’s hard to justify the cold nights spent in aether’s shoddy camping cot as he holds them close, the weather far too frigid and yet the body heat being all too suffocating to be comfortable. it’s hard to justify the long walks when aether keeps deviating from the main road to explore and take on odd jobs and quests, hard to justify the horror of watching aether bring down almost unspeakable violence and gore upon monsters that nearly make them feel pity for the hilichurls he runs into. that last part is the scariest part, really; how ready and eager he is to unsheathe his sword and stab and dig into anything that crosses his path, how he turns and casually smiles or chats with them even covered in his enemies’ blood and carnage as paimon just laughs at him for getting his clothes dirty. they’re too far from any city to consider returning by themselves, knowing how dangerous the roads are. when they ask aether when they’ll be able to spend the night at an inn or at least somewhere in a town, he never seems to have a straight answer.

aether wants to show how well he can take care of them and protect them. he already lost someone he cared about; now, he seems almost too eager to cause carnage and bloodshed, as if to prove himself he can do anything to protect his darling. more twistedly, he wants his darling to watch- as he slashes at hilichurls and mitachurls, as he stabs into treasure hunters and fatui skirmishers. this is how much he cares for them, this is how he’ll protect them!

it always leaves just a sliver of fear in his darling’s mind, even when he’s making sure they’re never hurt. the question of ‘when can i go home’ grows less and less frequent as they notice aether becoming more and more disgruntled by it- the quiet whisper in the back of their mind bringing forth the image of aether bathed in his enemies’ blood with his sword in hand, asking if they really want to risk angering him?

perhaps in another time, they’d have laughed at the idea of aether hurting them. but after a couple of months of being forced to trudge along him as he continues his search, nothing seems impossible. he’s already been to liyue by now- been there and left, and of course they had to go with him. sometimes he visits mondstadt and spends a few nights at their place; and then it’s back on the road, no questions asked. the townspeople coo at how adorable it is the hero of mondstadt found a lover so dedicated to follow him on his adventures. sometimes they wonder if it’s truly still dedication making them follow, or something else

aether is like a cat at times. it’s been a while since he rented a room in an inn to rest, being used to roughing it out in the nature- but today he’s rented a room in wangshu inn after doing a favour for the owner and scoring a discount. paimon is off eating the meal that came for free with renting a room, leaving the outlander with his lover. he leans into them, and they stroke his hair- if he could purr, he’d surely be doing so, judging by how his eyes close and he snuggles closer. but their hand moves almost automatically, muscle memory of a time past when they’d look forward to snuggling with their lover. now when they look at aether, they can’t help but see him as they usually do: violent, covered in blood, holding little to no regard for others. the events of what happened earlier in the day keep them shell shocked: they’d run into a treasure hunter just relaxing, doing nothing wrong. and then the man had complimented their hair and aether had run him with his sword before he could finish speaking, blood sputtering from his mouth as he slouched forward. the outlander had then shaken the blood off his blade and turned to his darling, smiling as if nothing had happened.

aether is possessive. he doesn’t want anyone to look at his darling the way he does: it’s not so much fear of them being whisked away as much as it is an... almost childish jealousy. it ranges from downright violence to those he deems are crossing the line to just immaturely glaring and ignoring others he thinks are paying too much attention to his darling. he doesn’t justify his attitude. there’s no “i do it to protect you” or “i do it because it must be done” kind of talk. aether just does as he wants, always turning to his darling with his gentle smile even after committing horrible attrocities

out of the two twins, aether was the impulsive one. the one to jump the gun, the more talkative of the two (which isn’t much to say, seeing as both lumine and aether barely used words). he follows his gut instinct, letting himself be carried by his emotions. way back, lumine would be there to hold him back, be there to keep him on check, and he’d do the same for her, maintaining a balance. but now in teyvat there’s nobody to keep aether in check, everyone either hails him as a hero or doesn’t mind him much, and all he has is his darling to fill the void in his heart

he’s just... not going to let them go. in aether’s mind, he’s already formed a picture of the future where he reunites with lumine and takes his darling with him as he and his twin travel around worlds. he talks about it, sometimes- and it’s terrifying. he loves them, loves them too much, and it seems like he forgets that they have a life outside of his love for them

the fire crackles in the campsite as aether pokes at it with a stick, making sparks from the not-quite dry wood crackle. the smell of smoke and burning wood has long since stopped bothering them. it’s by no means a comfort- it makes them miss their cozy home, where the only smell of burning would come from the small fireplace and good hunter’s nonstop cooking- but they don’t cough anymore, they don’t squint their eyes in fear of smoke getting into them. as always, paimon fills in the silence and aether sometimes answers back with a quip or a remark- to him, this is as good as it gets, at least until he finds lumine. there’s a bruise on their wrist from when aether tugged on it harshly to get them to duck and avoid a ruin guard’s misiles, and it makes them miss home even more. but there’s no point in asking him when they can go home: by now they know it’s either never or until a monster, a fatui or even an archon strikes him down. he’ll never let them go- if he wants to keep them by force he can, and they look at his sword resting by the fire, cleaned up after being stained by blood time and time again. sometimes they wish he had a vision they could shatter to render him a bit less powerful, to make it so he couldn’t keep going, and it’s a horribly selfish wish to have, but they’re allowed to be a little bit selfish in their fantasies, right? after all, aether has already taken their life from them, and he’s not handing it back.

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #yandere genshin impact #aether genshin impact #yandere tw #blood tw

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thebeautysurrounds · 3 years ago

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THIS CONTAINS SLIGHT SPOILERS FOR NEVER HAVE I EVER S2 READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

This is quite long I had a lot to unpack.

Since watching the 2nd season of Never Have I Ever a few things have been bothering me about the way people are reacting to Devi, and the show overall but mostly Devi. First of all she’s what a sophomore in high school? and she’s doing this all while being the only brown girl (up until kinda the middle of S2) and still dealing with grief and having absolutely no idea who she is yet. To me outside of being an honor roll student she is not doing things FOR HER she is doing this to appease her mother. Who while she means well pushing Devi to succeed to certain extremes which if Devi shows the slightest behavior of fucking up her mother makes harsh comments instead of understanding Devi is a literal teenager and needs room for fucking up.

Is Devi hella unreasonable at times? YES does she often times act strictly on impulse without a second thought…YES. But as a girl who virtually has no one outside of her friends who also are staring to drift from her and get into their first relationships themselves and have their own activities she essentially is left to navigate the world and her teenage angst alone. While I will give Nalini credit for all the work and time she has put in to not only being a single mother and navigating her own grief but also being a working mother who is a doctor and quite possibly has her own struggles with being a brown women in that filed. My problem lies with her not being able to balance or even let go of a strong arm parenting style that mostly focuses on Devi’s fuck up more than her accomplishments and makes comments on how her fuck ups that haven’t even happened yet. I’m not sure Nalini even realizes Devi is at the very very top of her class because I truly believe (after S1) even though Nalini apologized to Devi Nalini has a ‘hoping for the best but expecting the worst’ attitude when it comes to Devi and that’s in the for front of her mind so much she doesn’t realize Devi goes above and beyond not only for herself but to make her mother proud of her all for her mother to just not acknowledge that.

Now with Devi’s characterization I get where some people are coming from on saying Devi shouldn’t have been “boy crazy” or that they “ruined her character development” but here’s my problem those critiques while valid and your allowed to have those opinions…It’s just not really realistic and let me tell you why like I stated Devi is what a sophomore in high school and she has made it a abundantly clear her parents forbid her to date cause it’s school and extra curriculars only. Which will lead to a good college which thus will turn into a good career. While that’s all well and good. I don’t think y’all realize the FOMO of being in high school and growing up with very strict parents, and wanting to have your first relationship. Wanting to be an actual teenager and not wanting to think about 3-4 years down the line which most teenagers don’t/can’t visualize cause it’s not the right now. Devi wants to have those experiences and there’s nothing wrong with that does she go about it the right way…not exactly but y’all act like YOU have never been a teenager and said and done awful things out of anger or just pure immature stupidity. For the boy crazy part Devi is literally having her first feelings and experiences with boys she has 0 clue what she is doing outside of probably books, tv, movies and what her friends assume they know (even though they mean well) the only person Devi would remotely trusts is gone, and she can’t ask her mother cause her mother would honestly probably shut her down and make her feel guilty for even wanting to start having her first experiences with boys. Y’all have such a warped view of not only real teenagers and high school aged kids but also fictional ones. Y’all are so use to shows having protagonist being awful or starting off kinda okay but then their character turns awful and remains that way. What some of you fail to realize is actual teenagers and “teenagers” in shows can/are VERY morally grey.

Should Devi have been honest and possibly communicated to both Ben and Paxton that she has some sort of feelings for them both..possibly but Devi is a teenager do you think she is having a in depth analysis and talk with herself (outside of a pros and cons list) about what infatuation versus lust versus genuine connection versus romantic attraction looks like probably not. Let’s also analyze how she literally goes from being in her eyes forgettable to being noticed and even though it’s not talked about in the show explicitly she honestly probably struggles with self esteem/self image issues. To go from being a girl who to her no one cares about/notices to one who is getting the attention of two boys who are in Devi’s eyes attractive in their own right. She is so consumed with two guys ACTUALLY being interested in her that she fails to realize she is/and will hurt them both, Do I think Paxton is genuinely attracted to Devi…maybe. But I’m still on the fence about their relationship to me in the beginning I felt Paxton felt Devi is just another meaningless high school fling that he will forget about once he gets to college but to Devi here’s this guy who is “popular” very attractive and he pays attention to her is she looking at the semantics of the situation and how Paxton is more than likely just using her and is only engaging with Devi to get a passing grade and to basically give her the superficial experience of a “high school boyfriend” no she’s not she’s looking at it like here’s this guy who is attractive and he wants to be with someone like me. But do I also believe Devi in S1 was using Paxton and then fell for him DEFINITELY but I will give credit to Paxton for trying at a real relationship with Devi and I hope he will try to be more open and honest.

Do I think Ben likes Devi I honestly do, While the insensitive jokes (exchanged between both) should be discussed I think Ben over time started to see Devi as a girl who finally saw him not the rich, annoying, know it all. But in his view Devi and him are on equal playing fields because they are both overly driven smart individuals and when she said yes to going out with him it was probably the first time he felt like a girl saw the real him. While Ben too more than likely struggles with abandonment issues him dating Devi in a way made him feel like this was the first time he could actual be happy about something cause it was something he actually wanted and not something he just did to earn points in others books and impress people he genuinely got something on his own and that he was actually happy not a front he put on. To me Ben’s abandonment issues come out even more than in S1 when he tells Devi why he’s so hurt and it’s the night of the party when she runs after Paxton (who he sees has it all) and Devi doesn’t “choose him” Do I think Ben and Devi should date cause they share some form of the same trauma no. But again Devi is not use and doesn’t even know what to do with the attention of two people. Again is Devi looking at the semantics of her relationship with Ben…No. I don’t think Devi even realizes she’s quite literally hurting two people cause we could also discuss how Ben and Paxton probably have had other flings and relationships without a second thought while Devi having no relationship experiences and this is territory for her and she has no idea what she is doing or how to properly navigate this situation.

I’m almost done with this long ass rant I promise but it’s two more things I want to make light of/point out I don’t think anyone really gives Devi credit for still going to therapy, loosing a parent is unbearable especially loosing one as young as Devi did, especially when you feel the only parent that truly understood and supported you is gone. Devi doing things that are impulsive and unreasonable because she quite literally has no guidance her mother is only consumed with Devi not making the family “look bad” Devi’s grief is so heavy and she feels she’s going at it alone because her mother doesn’t take genuine time to talk to her. Now was Devi “stalking” her mother extremely inappropriate yes for sure but do Nalini and her need to communicate better for Devi to understand that her mother wasn’t dating sure even if Nalini was on a date their should have been communication there. Devi will probably never stop grieving her father hell he literally came to her in a dream to tell her she deserves better when it came to “dating” Paxton and Nalini will probably never stop grieving her husband but she deserves happiness too and I believe if Devi and Nalini were both honest with each other her slowly dating again wouldn’t have been a problem. Another point I wanna make connecting Devi, Paxton, and Ben is they all have this view that the grass is greener on the other side and that’s just not the case. Ben is jealous of Paxton cause he feels he has the “Perfect life” but in actuality Paxton is extremely flawed and honestly insecure his own family doesn’t believe in him and he knows people only like him because he is attractive, while Paxton looks at Ben like this, while annoying Ben is smart, rich, and no one ever questions Ben’s intelligence but in actuality Ben is very lonely and has spent most of his life alone or being raised by other people which has caused him to put on a huge front to people and often times overcompensate in his social life, and Devi looks at other girls like they have it all and have 0 struggles or problems (I.e her views on Anissa) but Devi fails to realize thy also struggle, are insecure, is struggling with mental illness, and don’t have themselves figured out, and Devi is looking at this man her mom is “dating” as if he’s taking something away but In actuality he is experiencing his own losses. All in all Never Have I Ever gets teenage angst and messy problematic morally grey teenagers right and the fact that y’all beg for more “flawed or problematic” characters and when you get them you don’t like that they are just that it’s odd to me it seems like y’all only want problematic characters if it’s how you see fit.

TL;DR: Y’all need to stop acting like y’all weren’t gross annoying and had fuck ups as teenagers y’all should really stop pretending like teenagers in real and some of us as teens didn’t have/engage in relationships that weren’t good but we learned from it while this show isn’t real it shows y’all will scream let people fuck up and let them grow but you don’t actually mean it. Devi is a teenager and requires room to grow she even admits she acts out and is impulsive but y’all act like she’s supposed to have the self awareness of a 60 year old.

#netflix never have i ever #never have i ever season 2 #tv show #never have i ever #devi vishwakumar #paxton hall yoshida #ben gross #nalini vishwakumar #maitreyi ramakrishnan #darren barnet #Poorna Jagannathan #jaren lewison #rant #analysis #spoilers #never have I ever spoilers #I wrote this at like 2am so if it doesn’t make much sense 🤷🏾‍♀️#I just had to get these thoughts out there cause it’s been on my mind

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