#which I know I haven't posted much of
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low key feel like I should re-brand this blog as an ask blog since I don't seem to have the right energy for thread style RP that often anymore
#lots of my energy for writing this guys has gone into fic#which I know I haven't posted much of#but I am slowly chipping away at something#idk I just want to rave about them but the desire to 'advance the plot' is low#ooc
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been replaying the Portal series I think this is where its heading
#i haven't drawn in like. half a month. which listen i know i don't post much here but i do draw a lot#i have another blog. but also sometimes i just don't post things. i draw for myself#just got burnt out from working on an animation final 😔#so anyway. eased myself back in with a silly comic about portal#my irl saw my shitty sketch and thought glados was painting chell which is very funny to me.#chelldos#but like. unrequited. glados is obsessed with chell. chell is not having a good time#portal#chell#GlaDOS#GlaD0S#my art#og post#1k#5k#10k#20k#yuri#shipping#edit: i made this post almost a year ago and it haunts me. theres a typo. chell is out of character.#because i couldn't come up with a good reason for her to be there in the first place#and this was a shitty ms paint replicating drawing that i did just to get back into drawing#i didn't think it would gain much attention#i was Wrong#anyway someone in the comments said this is what happens when you speedrun thats an infintely better setup for the punchline#EDIT 2: ok i fixed it fuck you
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2024 art summary! it sure has been a year
#ever makes art#i bsky tweeted a bit but it feels weird talking there still so ill do my usual rambling into tags here :)c#i burned out super bad in the middle of this year for months where it felt like i couldnt draw anything good no matter how hard i tried#and the harder i tried the worst it felt - to the degree that i legitimately thought i wasnt going to be able to draw anything again#which sounds SO dramatic i know i know. but feelings arent always rational!!! and so many others things were going wrong at the same time#so it was strange putting together this year's art summary and realizing Huh. i did still have paintings to put in every space#that fear/anxiety spiral seems even sillier and more meaningless now that i have distance and proof of how irrational it was...#...but in reflection i'd like to think of it as proof that even when you feel at your worse it's worth it to keep trying...!!#after the Black Hole of Nothing i've been working every day on never ending doujin and xv anthology and orv sketchzine and merch#i can't say that i feel my artistic skills have like. improved or anything... but the passion i feel for the stories i read and#the stories i want to tell is still there!! and the happiness from getting to put form to those feelings large or small is worth it too#anyway......... lotta words to say tho i haven't posted much anymore and socmed is imploding and the world is dark#thank you very much for staying with me another year. i am - as ever - always grateful
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I think a lot about how Vash and Knives are perceived and how they actually are. Vash is the one who pushes his feelings back and holds himself together constantly in order to keep pushing forwards, despite how open/silly he seems on the surface. Knives comes across as colder and more logical, but his decisions and conclusions are all driven by his rage and fear and emotions.
Knives makes himself out to be the reasonable one who knows more about the world than Vash (at least in Tristamp), but Vash is actually the one out there experiencing things and learning about life and humanity, meaning he's probably much wiser. This specifically is one of my favorite things about Trigun because it's just so hopeful. Vash is the one who sees the world and everything it has to offer (he was running all over the place for 150 years, dude!), and he's also the one who believes so resolutely that humans are good. I think that's absolutely beautiful.
#This is just my take from the information I have so if I'm wrong let me know!#I've seen all of Tristamp and the pieces of 98 I could find but haven't been able to find a place to read the manga yet#Which is upsetting because it seems to have most of the really interesting writing/story bits in every analysis I read#But yeah it means I might not be the most accurate when I'm posting about it unfortunately 😭😭#It means so much to me though you don't understand#trigun#vash the stampede#millions knives
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In Regards To Your 2024 Summary:
Holy shit it’s been another year????? The hell?????
Also! Your art style is gorgeous and that being found in 2023 and then refined throughout late 2023 and the entirety of 2024 really shows, as does your growth in panel layouts, perspective, and — as you said — experimentation. If you ever post your animation or video game art I’m looking forward to it.
As cheesy as it sounds, being able to laugh at funny comics and look at all the details of your art really made my 2024 brighter, even when things were hard. Including looking at your older art— it doesn’t need to be new to be enjoyable! I’m glad your art is well loved and it’s a privilege to have been here since the (near) beginning. I hope you take care of yourself in 2025 and beyond!
You and your art bring a lot of people a lot of joy never forget that <3
Thank you so much for keeping up with my art journey throughout these last two years! Two years!!! I am baffled at how that feels both too long and too short!
Admittedly, my art summary didn't manage to capture the fact that I did a lot of comic layouts that I'm really proud of. I also drew more backgrounds and made some very detailed works (*Dungeon Meshi spoilers for these examples*).
The growth is lot more evident when comparing my 'best' comics of 2023 to 2024:
Sometimes the growth is vertical, sometimes it is horizontal - and damn, sometimes it goes out of sight into the Z-plane. But it is always happening!
#art summary#ask#The privilege is honestly mine; to be able to create comics and have had people rooting me on since the beginning really means a lot.#To everyone who the potential I couldn't and continues to stick around: Thank you so very much.#I cannot emphasize enough that I do see you. I do notice those who regularly like/reblog/comment.#I notice when people who haven't been around come back and mass like/reblog posts.#There are some people who have only *ever* liked my posts or have only ever lurked! I notice! I am so thankful!#At the risk of also sounding cheesy; I'm honestly happy to give back whatever I can to my audience.#Knowing I have brought people a little bit of joy to their day with my silly comics makes every long night worth it.#I probably make a longer post about it in the future; but last year when I made my first comic redraw-#-was the same day I got the news that someone very beloved to me passed away. I was in such deep grief I couldn't respond to comments.#But I still read them and I mean this earnestly; even though I was smiling through tears -#everyone's kind words truly helped make a pretty dark month a lot brighter. I probably would have crumbled without the support.#What really gets me is this: it was never directed at trying to cheer me up. It was just earnest kindness towards a stranger making comics.#If you've ever wondered 'hey does PD-MDZS know how much I appreciate their silly comics?'#know I have also sat here and thought 'Hey does this person know how much I appreciate seeing them in my notifications?'#Which also includes you! Mina BNHA you will always be associated with the cool person who's been rooting for me B*)#I wish everyone a wonderful new year; may all our creative endeavors be something we see as an exciting discovery.
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#the fall of the house of usher#mike flanagan#tfothou#tfothouedit#flanaverse#(mine)#(i was looking for a generic gif set to put my little thoughties in the tags but there aren't any???)#(or not yet maybe??? hrmpff so i'll do it myself then!)#it really is becoming a flanaverse - again there were little things and phrasings carried over from the other shows#i can only remember the carcass of a house right now but there were more#i can't wait to see everybody's little posts and theories and comparisons!!! 😻#what i haven't seen yet and will come up probably is the angle of the opiod epidemic#some speeches sounded like they came right our of the other netflix series painkiller#which makes me think those quotes might be verbatim lifted from real life although they are so out there that they sound made up (?)#i don't know enough about it but it struck me as too much of a coincidence#spoilers
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sigh feeling nostalgic for my old fics/the old community these days. I miss it man.
#this post is brought to you by the fact that I've been rereading world forgetting the past few days#I've reread parts of it plenty of times#but I haven't actually reread the fic in full... since I wrote it maybe?#does that even count as reading it#it's a fundamentally different experience I think so#anyway I miss having that level of brainrot...#I cringe so much at a lot of the stuff in that fic#but man there were so many great moments#ngl as my 'big fic' i'm most unhappy with I do sometimes think about rewriting some of it#not that theres much of an audience for it anymore#but also that would take too much time and I wouldn't have the patience for it#plus I don't even know how I'd fix it theres so much wrong structurally#it would have to be so much longer which is the opposite of what I'd want for it#I literally am way too busy for that anyway so#ramblings
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I’ve mentioned this elsewhere but it feels relevant again in light of the most recent episode. Something that’s really fascinating to me about Orym’s grief in comparison to the rest of the hells’ grief is that his is the youngest/most fresh and because of that tends to be the most volatile when it is triggered (aside from FCG, who was two and obviously The Most volatile when triggered.)
As in: prior to the attack on Zephrah, Orym was leading a normal, happy, casual life! with family who loved him and still do! Grief was something that was inflicted upon him via Ludinus’ machinations, whereas with characters like Imogen or Ashton, grief has been the background tapestry of their entire lives. And I think that shows in how the rest of them are largely able to, if not see past completely (Imogen/Laudna/Chetney) then at least temper/direct their vitriol or grief (Ashton/Fearne/Chetney again) to where it is most effective. (There is a glaring reason, for example, that Imogen scolded Orym for the way he reacted to Liliana and not Ashton. Because Ashton’s anger was directed in a way that was ultimately protective of Imogen—most effective—and Orym’s was founded solely in his personal grief.)
He wants Imogen to have her mom and he wants Lilliana to be salvageable for Imogen because he loves Imogen. But his love for the people in his present actively and consistently tend to conflict with the love he has for the people in his past. They are in a constant battle and Orym—he cannot fathom losing either of them.
(Or, to that point, recognize that allowing empathy to take root in him for the enemy isn't losing one of them.)
It is deeply poignant, then, that Orym’s grief is symbolized by both a sword and shield. It is something he wields as a blade when he feels his philosophy being threatened by certain conversational threads (as he believes it is one of the only things he has left of Will and Derrig, and is therefore desperately clinging onto with both bloody hands even if it makes him, occasionally, a hypocrite), but also something he can use in defense of the people he presently loves—if that provocative, blade-grief side of him does not push them—or himself—away first.
(it won’t—he is as loved by the hells as he loves them. he just needs to—as laudna so beautifully said—say and hear it more often.)
#critical role#cr spoilers#bells hells#orym of the air ashari#cr meta#imogen temult#ashton greymoore#liliana temult#this is genuinely completely written in good faith as someone who loves orym#but is also about orym and so will inevitably end up being completely misconstrued and made into discourse. alas#I could talk about how Orym’s unwillingness to allow the hells to actually finish/come to a solid conclusion on Philosophy Talk#is directly connected to one of the largest criticisms of c3 (that they are constantly having these conversations)#all day. alas. engaging with orym’s flaws tends to make people upset#it is ESP prevelant when he walks off after exclaiming ‘they (vangaurd) are NOT right’#which was not only never said but wasn’t even what they were talking about#he even admits as much to imogen like ten minutes later! that he is incapable of viewing it objectively#which is 100% justifiable and understandable but simultaneously does not make his grief alone the most important perspective in the world#also bc i fear ppl will play semantics on my tags yes the line ‘i hope she’s right’ was said but it was from ASHTON#who does not believe they are at all and wasn’t saying they actively WERE right. orym just heard something to latch onto and ran with it#ultimately there is a reason orym only admitted that he was struggling when he had stepped away to talk to dorian#who has not been around and thusly has not changed once n orym's eyes#and it isn't that the hells never check in or care. they do. they have several times over#it is dishonest to say they haven't#the actual reason is that all of this is something He Is Aware Of. he doesn't mention it bc he KNOWS it's hypocritical and selfish#he says as much!#EXHALES. @ MY OWN BRAIN CAN WE THINK ABT MOG AGAIN. FYRA RAI EVEN. FOR ME.#posting this literally at 8 in the morning so I can get my thoughts out of my brain but also attempt to immediately make this post invisibl
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Okay but consider by the time the odysseus is baby girling himself during suffering, it's been very well established that he is the distraction/talk their way out of trouble friend. So eurylochus who has probably been putting up with this nonsense since they were children was going no no this is 100% normal just ignore it. While the crew (who was just random subjects yes?) Was going what the fuck what the fuck
#eurylochus#Odysseus#Epic the musical#Like odysseus eurylochus and polties all would have had a very set very well established dynamic#And yes polties is dead which irrevocably changed them and is really the base for their shattered friendship#Which is a whole other eassy post I will write one day#But it has always been odysseus up front being the distraction while eurylochus carried out the plan#Polties probably ran support but I haven't thought it all the way out yet so idk#And eurylochus would be very very familiar with odysseus's tactics#Like mans has probably been watching odysseus baby girl himself as a distraction probably since they were children#Probably since Athena showed up since I imagine that she would have set up various tests throughout his training#And the other gods were probably like 👀 new favorite plaything???#Headcanon that these three started encounter monsters or things that shouldn't be that hard to kill but are pretty immediately after#Athena started odysseus's mentorship#So is it his favorite thing in the world to watch his captain giggling and kicking his feet at monster Penelope? Absolutely not#But it is sadly part of his everyday life? Yes#The crew however who are made up of a bunch of random subjects who now knows way too much about their king#Would actually like to be eaten verse seeing odysseus flirt with a monster they trying to kill#Suffering#Sirens#jorge rivera herrans
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there are certainly serious things to say and analysis to be made about the tired queen in snow white-ass female fear of aging and losing your beauty as catalysts for evil tropes zara renata is evoking, as well as the treatment of her still-naked body as an object in the post mortem interrogation scene by both the camera and the characters. HOWEVER. personally and with my heart not my brain I forgive it wholeheartedly because there's just something special, something so incredibly fun and campy, both about her horrific literal blood bath and about a character who'll coyly tell you to wait here she'll just slip into something a little more... comfortable😏. and then while keeping hard eye contact with you she slips out of her skin entirely like it's a strapless dress and stands there in her full glistening subcutaneous glory smirking at you. her body isn't a temple it's a slaughterhouse. well. for you. but that's a price she's willing to pay :) ianthe tridentarius behaviour (laudatory)
(to be real for a moment it probably helps a lot that there are plenty of other female villains in the game who aren't presented with a sexual or appearance-focused angle at all. well. not an intentional one at least. ghilan'nain will always do to certain people what she does but that's not the design intention or priority lol. having a zara does not feel as weird when you also have a johanna hezenkoss running around just living her best unlife and doing her thing)
#the lesson here is that I have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair#and I will go along with even quite troubling things in fiction if I find it inscrutably funny enough. apologies but here we are#I can enjoy a nuance with the best of them#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#zara renata#it's so true that the worst sin something in fiction can commit is to be boring lol#also I do think deliberately invoking and framing it in fairytale logic helps. she's an Evil Queen. you know them. they do this stuff#like listen. we know and you know what we're doing here nothing new under the sun. but doesn't it make for banger visual design#and like yeah you got me there bioware it does I will remember the blood room forever#she has a horror prison under the sea and has gone the full bathory that's the space we're playing in right now haha#I hate to be a little bit of a hater but also the contrast between zara and aelia for me. zara is flawed but fun and aelia. is there.#I guess. for me at least. who is she. frankly I didn't care that much.#okay haterism over but I also haven't seen a lot of aelia thirst or I support women's wrongs posts which feels like a sign of some kind
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I'm seeing a lot of people with neurodivergency, specially under the autism spectrum say that "Laios is annoying, never shuts up, is insensitive, and I can't stand him"; and the irony is not lost on me lmao.
#like im sorry dude did you think all autism is “anime obsessed dude”?#how did you think neurodivergent people behaved on old times?#also like#being unintentionally insensitive is almost a telltale sign of autism cause you struggle with social cues#if anything i think a lot of you are finally habing to face your own internalized predjudices#“he is annoying” yes that's how ableist neurotypical people talk about us all the time tell me something i haven't heard already#like how do i explain to you that a lot of neurotypical people tal the exact same eay youre talkbing about laios#and is annoying when they go “but im neurodivergent! i can be biased agaisnt neurodivergent people”#yes you can because being neurodivergent is not a monolith and you are mistifying being neurodivergent#by implying theres some sort of virtue in being under the spectrum when youre as capable of being a dick just as everyone else#like you think you have autism but suddenly wanting to taste things youre not supposed to eat and not remembering peoples names is too much?#some of yall never experienced beinf a ���weird kid” at a young age and it shows#and im not talking the “geek bullied” weird kid kinda way#im talking “the adults think I'm weird amd don't know how to deal with me”#WHICH FITS LAIOS PERFECTLY BECAUSE WE ACTUALLY HAVE A SCENE OF HIS DAD SHOWING HIM FALLIN AS A BABY#AND NOT UNDERSTANDING WHY IS THERE NO EXPECTED REACTION FROM LAIOS#anyways im making this rant because is unreal how many posts of this exist#you think Laios is annoying cause he wont shut up?#congratulations thats how most people see us#now get over it or watch other series if you hate it that much#dunmeshi hell thoughts#weird rant i suppose#dungeon meshi#laios touden
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nemesis
#everyone loves big titan wizard#just use allure instead of physics at this point#super effective#ok gonna ramble in the tags now#im kinda experimenting#but also dont really know what im doing exactly#if you see me anywhere near prolific that means i have a report in like 3 days#which i haven't prepared or even touched#also i kinda misunderstood evil warlock wizard's helmet in that last piece oops#probably not gonna fix that post btw#have to say evil ver. is like 10 times harder to understand and draw than good ver.#i simplified so much i kinda feel bad about it#destiny 2#destiny guardians#destiny titan#destiny hunter#destiny warlock#destiny 2 art#my art
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You ever just read a fanfic that rots your brain so much that you had no choice but to make a comic out of it? Yeah.
Anyway, here's the first 1000 words of A Mirror in the Dark by Fastern on Ao3 illustrated.
(Click for better quality)
I know I could have picked some sort of big scene to illustrate, but idk man, I felt like going from the beginning even if it doesn't seem like much is happening. Trust me when I say this is the best Traitor Kaminari fic I have ever read. My initial plan was to do the whole first chapter but then I realized I didn´t have infinite time so have these 8 pages instead!
Anyway, go read the fic right now. You will not be disappointed.
#I could go on for hours on how much I love this fic I am very serious#Still think about it all the time despite it being months since I read it.#I really don't post much mha stuff and that's cuz I haven't been caught up in ages at some point in the future I'll properly revisit it#Kaminari is still my boy though my love for him has never left me#Drew this bad boy on paper and then colored it digitally#Which is why it may look a bit wonky here and there#Also my apologize for the messy handwriting. If you at some point don't understand know that all dialogue was taken straight from the fic#So you can check it out if something isn't clear to you (Wink wink)#mha#mha fanfiction#mha fanart#mirror in the dark#my hero academia#bnha#bnha fanfiction#bnha denki#bnha momo#bnha mineta#traitor kaminari#denki kaminari#minoru mineta#momo yaoyorozu#bnha fanart#boku no hero academia
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what is your favorite thing about charles and your favorite thing about erik? separately, as in what you like most about their characters :]
a devious question this one is, my friend!!! it's hard enough for me to explain my thoughts cohesively, but having to pick ONE thing i particularly love is difficult. with characters like charles and erik, theres been so much done with their characters over the decades and so they have so many components to them that make them so interesting and fun to observe. BUT I TRY FOR YOU TODAY. under the cut i kinda ramble and the size of this text box makin me anxious
i think if i were to be simple and broad, what i enjoy most about charles is his determination to help others, even if he isn't really thanked and/or if people don't even like him. ofc, this isn't to say he hasn't done wrong- to be honest, the fact he does wrong/questionable things at times is another aspect of him i really enjoy, maybe because- broadly speaking- he's meant to be altruistic (intent vs outcome and all that). i don't know if that's super exciting to most people, but it is for me
as for erik, my reason for liking him is easier to explain tbh. To Be Simple And Broad, his progression from villain to antihero over the decades has been fun to observe (as much as i have so far anyhow) and analyze. i think to be a bit more specific, him using his rage and pain as justifications for his villainous actions is definitely what compels me the most: hurt people hurt and the sort, an idea i've always found interesting (something something vicious cycles and the like). yet now, he recognizes this wasn't really. A Just Thing To Do and is beginning to change that, which i enjoy
#snap chats#may you forgive me anon i always feel awkward explaining things AVELKJEAKLJ#i feel esp awkward cause i haven't read toooo much of the comics yet- like ive read. an ok amount so far krakoa wise#can you guys tell im fighting god himself to Not write a fuckin. NOVEL#im so sorry i have an over-explaining problem my mom was mean to me growing up but anyways#i definitely want to read more and more outside krakoa. the more i read the more im fascinated by these two and their history#but to continue my prattling. as if the three paragraphs above arent enough This Is Not A Thesis RELAX#i think a. 'poignant' moment i think adds to what i like about charles too is that soliloquy where he recognizes people dont like him#yet he could always be worse- like if he's bad now to others imagine if he really just said Fuck It All#it's simple but so am i whaddyagonnadoboutit. i mean that point itself could be discussed but i'm trying to keep this brief bear with me#i so bad want to know what issue that's from tho all i know is that it's from krakoa but i neeeed the whole context#i think like. an additional bullet point to charles i also like is his loneliness#and i say this cause- I Say From My Amateur-Psychology Armchair- it's a component of why he's so earnest to help#but im keeping this point in the tags until i can confidently verify that with myself after some more reading#Unfortunately a favorite pass time of mine is psychoanalyzing characters like why else you think i major in psychology smh#im going to force myself to cap the post here because i ended up typing like 20 more tags just rambling#and as i said id like to keep this simple and clean !!!!! i have sat here for like four hours answering this ngl#ignore the fact half that time was spent getting distracted by solitaire and riffling cards ok I Am Very Easily Distracted#but fr when it comes to charles and erik- charles esp imo#i feel like i need to write a whole paper just so i can mention the nuances of the characters and like. EVERYTHING#because again six decades is A Lot of time for writing decisions to be made and for their characters to change over time#im a glazer but i wanna be a nuanced glazer yk. is that glazing at that point-- w/e anyway#its a lot. so today you will have to tolerate a very Blah answer from me which i must apologize for#down the line once ive read a comfortable amount more varying from multiple eras maybe ill revisit this question more in depth#as of right now tho .... chat i wanna get legion of x so bad i skimmed it and hhhhhhhhim gonna throw UP#i need to shake charles like a ragdoll BUT ANYWAY. bye bye for now lovelies !!!!!!!#please forgive me if i didnt answer your question efficiently ..#here i am saying i wanted to keep the tag count brief and yet !!! jesus christ. shut up My God I REACHED THE TAG LIMIT
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just a reminder that I have this community going here on tumblr!
The header and icon are Gotham, but I really want this place to be able to open up to a lot more verses with more interpretations of the characters
as someone who doesn't delve into the tags/tumblr's search feature very often, I want this to be a place where people are encouraged to self-promo their works that they're proud of, or share works from others that they think deserve a spotlight
link to the community, for any interested
not spoiler free!
#gotham#riddlebird#nygmobblepot#tumblr community#and just a reminder that you can now mute communities as well#if you want to take a look you don't have to join#people who aren't members can't view the comments on posts but i'll tell you the feature isnt used much so there's nothing in them atm#i only post what i can find and i've been using it to spotlight older artworks that haven't been circulated in a long time#a lot of stuff from when the show was still running or a little after it ended#it's hard to find stuff that isn't gotham which is kind of why i'm reaching out again#because i'd share more that isn't gotham but i can't. find it i don't know where it is#i don't use tumblr's search at all so i can't rly find anything#but obviously every verse is welcome#i wish i could make that more visually obvious in the group but#i'm not very good at graphic design so i only made a very quick edit from a screenshot
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Sabo still struggles with memory loss. He had his childhood back, of course, he remembers Ace and Luffy and everything they did together. But he doesn't remember some stuff. Some anecdotes Luffy tells oh so excitedly? He can't recall that those happened. And if he does, it's all blurry and never at all like Luffy says. But he never says anything because that would break his brother's heart, to know his older brother isn't fully back with him, so he nods and smiles and pretends he knows what Luffy is talking about every time.
His room is filled with Post-it notes. Stupid, really. Dumb stuff. But he has all the meetings he needs to remember and the missions he has to do, along with everything he wants to write down at some point properly. The walls are covered in pictures of the people he loves (Luffy, Ace, Koala, Robin... All the others that have ever meant something to him because he refuses to forget somebody again).
He keeps writing dumb stuff down. Anything. He refuses to forget. He denies the possibility of doing it again.
But he forgets. Sabo keeps forgetting important dates. Important parts of his life, like his past with his brothers (he forgets a random adventure they had that he swore he had talked about the day prior) and crucial things he has to do. He has a hard time picturing his memories. Putting them in his brain. Turning them into images. Saying it's frustrating is a huge understatement.
Koala helps him out, of course. She's hard on him so he finishes his paperwork, but she knows it's difficult sometimes. She's his personal calendar and diary. She informs him of what he has to do during the week and always tries to talk and talk about anecdotes that she knows he still remembers but knows he loves to hear again.
His mental health isn't the best either, but he refuses to acknowledge it. There's a revolution at hand, he can't stop working. And fighting. And doing more and more and more. But sometimes it's just too much. Sometimes he goes into depressive episodes he can't control, and the medication is either addicting or the worst thing that has ever happened to him. Sometimes he's a bit too intense. Koala says he needs to calm down, that he has a problem with his fixation on the revolution and his past. Sabo keeps saying that it's fine. But he sometimes forgets or has blurry images of the fights and the people he has killed, filled with energy and excitement and like he has the power of a God. He doesn't like those. Enjoys the moment. Hates to forget it. Hates to know what he did during it too, even if it was for a good cause. Despises the look Koala gives him, also. Makes her promise not to tell Luffy about all of this.
But it's fine, he keeps saying. Sabo will keep trying to never forget anything ever again.
#hello i am very sad#i struggle with memory loss because of depression and shit and i thought wow yOU KNOW WHO ELSE STRUGGLES WITH MEMORY LOSS???#this post is kind of like 'guess the disorder' type of thing#it's bipolar disorder btw i just didn't get too much into it#i mean i think sabo is bipolar that's a personal headcanon of mine#which btw the only info i know about it is deep research and two years of psychology in high school#something something i wanted to know if i was bipolar bc i haven't gone to therapy in........... uh.... a while. but i highly doubt it#now i just have a lot of info#anywayyy got real dark real quickly right#sabo i love you i don't want to hurt you but you're just so angst material#one piece#revolutionary sabo#koala one piece#asl brothers#monkey d. luffy#tw mental instability#tw depression#tw medication
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