#whew that took a while

[blairdii]

PRETEND IM ANON

i need you to help me choose the orders i write these in (i tried looking for all of them, but these are the only ones i found and i can't remember if there were more or not)

HOLY SHIT U HAVE SENT ME A LOT 😭😭😭

okok lemme think of how to do this

mafia!ln and lawyer!wife one

MERCH PRICES

the baby crying on the flight

the stickers one

the 12 grapes one 😭

lando x exwife!reader who doesn't want kids

the one where the reader goes to the pub and encounters a silly lando anti

THE YUKI ORANGE PEEL IDEA!!

new year, new me, new bf

ex gf giving reader food with beef

lando being able to distinguish who made the parathas

the one where magui is a part of their friend group

lando buys a sari

adrenaline junkie!reader

max f giving his best man speech

p and all of lando's gfs

lando, relationships, obligations

whatsapp voice notes!!

the gin and champagne one

[tortol]

parasitism

poem by @growrotten

[baldursghaik]

To live is to carry at least a few regrets

[atmospheral]

⚔️ Visual references I made for all 5 of Zoro's named katanas ⚔️

[thebirdsandthebats]

Okay @s-p-r-i-n-g-t-i-m-e I’m sure you know plenty BUT I’m going to use your wonderful and hilarious comment on this as an excuse to talk about Bernard, bc I realized recently that there are plenty of ppl who haven’t read most of the comics he’s been in. So get ready for my long overdue:

UNPACKING BERNARD DOWD + HIS TRAUMA (for those who cannot keep up with comics but want to get to know him)

So to start, Tim met Bernard years ago ofc, when they were in high school. It’s established pretty quick that Bernard is an extremely Unserious guy LMAO, the first thing he does is literally circle Tim and try to feel him out socially, see what kind of guy he is. He’s the kind of guy who gets himself in trouble with his big mouth, and seems to enjoy poking at Tim and testing his patience. By the time we meet Bernard again in the recent years, he’s grown a lot, but at his core he’s still the light-hearted, fun, goofy guy with very strong opinions. Just less stand-offish, maybe

Throughout the time Tim spends at this school though, Bernard does experience some wild shit. He lost Darla (somebody he really cared about), he experienced a shooting at his school, and then Darla came back from the dead, kind of scared the hell out of him, and used him to contact Tim again. It was kind of played for laughs, but like. That’s gotta fuck you up. (Robin #140)

Obviously this is the kind of thing that maybeee has a lasting effect on you. And BECAUSE Tim Drake: Robin got cut so short and the writer had to rush to wrap up the series, we’re left to fill in a lot of gaps and draw conclusions about the years we didn’t see Bernard ourselves. But we absolutely get some insight as to his life after Tim left that school and we stopped seeing him in the comics. Spoiler alert: it was hard.

In TDR, Bernard discusses the the cult that he’d been in that Tim saved him from in Urban Legends. He says that “he’d accepted himself”, but others hadn’t. Obviously there’s the natural reading that he means his queerness (which has me chewing through drywall), but I think that he’s speaking very broadly too. Bernard is a very odd example of a civilian, because he’s always getting dragged into things much bigger than him. And even before that, he had his big ideas, his conspiracies, his loud personality. He tended to rub people the wrong way in high school. Then in issue #7 of TDR (the Bernard pov issue my most beloved, weird pacing aside) Bernard refers to this “oozy, sticky feeling” that he ALWAYS feels when Tim isn’t around. He says when he’s alone it’s harder to put one foot in front of the other. To keep GOING. To wake up every day.

I think that Bernard has always felt like an outcast. (Robin #121, he doesn’t fit into any clique). He wasn’t as okay with it as he acted. And I think he wasn’t getting any attention from his parents. (Batman: Urban Legends #5, Bernard’s parents nonchalance to the days leading up to his kidnapping)

So just like Bernard explained to Tim, that feeling got bad. and he wanted to let go. The chaos monsters, the cult, all of it was a means to an end. But then Tim agreed to see him again, and I think that sparked something in him. Because he started learning to fight. When he was tied down to that alter and Tim was saving him, I think it fully sank in to Bernard that he didn’t want to die. Reconnecting with Tim gave him hope and made him really feel something good for the first time in ages.

So now that they’re dating after the cult fiasco, we get to know this current Bernard. A less goading, maybe calmer Bernard. But he’s still himself, of course, rambling about his ideas and making bad jokes and sticking to his guns (he has NEVER been a pushover, no idea where people get that idea?). I think a lot of people complained that Bernard mellowed out too much in terms of attitude, but I think if he seems “nicer” it’s because 1) he’s grown now. It’s been a while since we last saw him, and he’s clearly changed a lot. And 2) because he’s dating Tim now. He likes him a lot, and he’s an affectionate partner. He wants to lift Tim up.

But the fact that he was pulled into a cult still remains. And as lighthearted as Bernard tries to be, that traumatic experience still happened. It said in Urban Legends #5 while Tim was searching for him that Bernard had welts on his arms and legs and had been acting different, so it’s not like he was just snatched up on a whim. He’d spent significant time there. For those who haven’t read much abt the ways cult trauma specifically can fuck you up, I recommend doing a search if you’re in a good headspace for that and want to understand him more. because it’s pretty bad.

And then! yeah. you guessed it. Bernard gets kidnapped again. Chained up next to a BOMB that’s counting down. RIGHT WHEN HE’S WORKING ON HEALING FROM ALMOST BEING SACRIFICED BY A CULT.

And surely this can’t get crazier. He’s almost died twice in the past 6 months. except, remember his parents? In TD:R #7, we really see a little more of his relationship with his parents. He doesn’t live up to their standards, and his dad specifically seems to just want to argue with him. The restaurant they’re at is attacked, and everything goes to shit, and. you know, I think these panels really speak for themselves.

And for the record, when it’s revealed that everyone is seeing their worst fears, Bernard’s parents fears are not about him.

So now Bernard has to deal with that. And we start to see that Bernard is really not as okay as he’s tried to be. He keeps a baseball bat by his door because he’s been kidnapped twice now. And just when he’d likely thought things couldn’t get worse, he heard the Chaos Monsters were back. I can’t imagine he feels safe. He lashes out for the first time since all this has happened and yells at Kate and Tim, because while they’re doing what they feel is necessary to save more people (AND I DONT BLAME THEM AT ALL), Bernard can’t talk about it.

And I will forever be sad and insist that TD:R got cancelled too soon, just before we could get into the really juicy stuff, because things had to be wrapped up pretty quick and this was the only comic Bernard was consistently appearing in. But when Tim is giving himself up to the chaos monsters, Bernard goes out and rallies anyone he knows can help. Things were rushed because there was no more time to flesh out the story the way it could have been, but I’m including these panels just because I love Bernard Audacity Dowd using a fucking flashlight and shadow puppet to call Batman. geeking out for a minute. And then leading the battalion to save Tim with a SLEDGEHAMMER. gay people rule.

So yeah! While I see the vision of how a lot of Bernard’s trauma was meant to be semi-resolved and let him come to peace after saving Tim back, we just didn’t have the time for him to heal properly. I’d give anything to get inside his brain again. UHH IF YOU READ THIS I HOPE YOU LOVE BERNARD NOW and don’t come at me if I left something out, some of my comics aren’t with me rn. Bonus TimBer for the road:

[v-albion]

World’s Greatest Actor

Song: worlds greatest actor by Terminallysilly

Masterpost

[aversiteespabilas]

HERE IT IS!! THE LONG-AWAITED RRCU MASTERPOST!!!

WHAT is the RRCU, exactly?

The Rise Rabbit Cinematic Universe is a series of derivative fanworks featuring original characters inspired by Stan Sakai's Usagi Yojimbo comics and the spinoff show Samurai Rabbit, with lore and events set in the canonical world of Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. It was created by myself (@aversiteespabilas) and @rhinocio, together with my best friend Iggy (@r3xcorvus) contributing with their own characters and plot and acting as writing consultant for the rabbits. If you know Stan Sakai's characters, you may find some things familiar, but ultimately, these are completely original characters with original storylines. It started with Rhin and I playing with the concept of our distinct versions of Rise!Usagi being estranged family, and it's now become a rich world of stories and characters that we really feel is worth sharing. Enjoy the ride!

Is this a Rise AU (Alternative Universe)?

Technically, no. RRCU stories are written on the assumption that everything that happens on the ROTTMNT canon does happen exactly as is. We're not working with alternate dimensions either, as the Usagi family are yokai, just like any other in the Hidden City. This is rather a Rise spin-off, focusing on original characters, how the yokai world or Ikai works, and our take on Hidden Japan. It's not an alternate universe, the rabbits are just busy doing their own stuff. However, we do have different alternative timelines or AUs within the RRCU. I'll get to that.

Are they like, dragon riders?

They are, thank you for noticing! I take great pride in that idea 'cause it's allowed me to do a lot of cool stuff. In the RRCU, tokage are large winged lizards, and the characters can ride them! Yuki's best friend Spot is also a loyal flying mount who carries him to adventure.

What's with the amount of rabbits? Seriously, there are SO many.

Well, this is about the Usagi Family. Several generations of them, in fact. We have a wide array of characters we write about or draw artwork for, young and old, living and deceased. At its core, the RRCU is about family, overcoming generational trauma, dealing with your heritage, and reconnecting with those you love.

Okay, but who is dating Leonardo Ninjaturtle, exactly?

Sometimes a rabbit. Sometimes a different rabbit. Sometimes, not a rabbit. Bottom line: It's not about Leo, though he does cameo and romantically feature in some of the fics. When we started merging our concepts of Usagi, Rhin and I already had plenty of canonical work written that featured Leo getting romantically involved with our respective Usagis. As a result of that, we decided each of us would take care of a different timeline or AU based mostly on who Leo is dating. Most of the time, in my own work, Leonardo will be dating Yuki. In Rhin's work, Leonardo might be dating Yusuke (in Rise's apocalyptic future) or perhaps a loveable human named Juan. Or perhaps nobody in particular.

Why are there fics in spanish in the Yuki Usagi (ROTTMNT) ao3 tag? Why do Yuki-focused fics reference stuff that hasn't been published before?

That is because I am spanish, and because before my fic journey, Yuki's story was developed in private (spanish) roleplay. That is why in Yuki's fics, I am assuming Leo and him are already friends, but in Run O' The Mill Rabbit I did my best to retroactively explain the events that led to their friendship regardless.

He's the young heir to the Usagi Family, and that comes with a massive amount of pressure that he's always been able to take in stride, in spite of his hearing disability. With unwavering confidence, commitment to Bushido, and a penchant for silliness, Yuki is always ready to take on any challenge. As an Usagi, though, his greatest challenge may actually be admitting when he's having real trouble, and letting others help him instead.

He's the Usagi Family's long-lost son, Tetsuya's 20-years-younger brother, and Yuki's forgotten uncle. After struggling to meet his samurai family's very strict expectations throughout his childhood, he travelled to America in search of purpose, and accidentally got Mariko pregnant instead. Since then, he's been forced to cut ties with the Usagi and has become radio silent. Weighed down by his shame and used to constantly running away, his only anchors are his son Jotaro and his very dear friends Mariko and Kenichi; yet, he still refuses to truly face the people he loves.

He's Yuki's father and Yusuke's 20-years-older brother. As the Usagi Family Head, his duty has always been preserving the family's dwindling reputation, ensuring traditions and protocol are followed, and being in charge of absolute perfection. However, this mindset has historically not made his family... like him very much, as hard as that is to believe. After his wife's passing and both his little brother and son running off to America, his loneliness has led to regrettable events that are forcing him to accept that he might not be all that perfect himself, either.

She was Tetsuya's first wife and Yuki's mother, before her unfortunate death in the line of duty. She was the lightheartedness and sweetness to Tetsuya's inflexible demeanor, and Tetsuya was a safety line for her more impulsive and daring traits. She had affinity for a very powerful mystic sword that her son Yuki inherited.

She's a hare, and Tetsuya's second wife. A ninja and skilled assassin sent to kill the Usagi Family Head, who eventually decided none of that ninja stuff was worth it anyway. She is supremely chill about everything, in ways the Usagi are still getting used to.

He's Tetsuya and Toshiko's son, which makes him Yuki's baby brother, and a hare-rabbit hybrid yokai. We are sure he will not grow into a troublemaker or anything.

He's Yusuke's very american best friend (though he himself would prefer a different appellative), Mariko's husband, and the dad who stepped up. His love for his own pack is fierce to a fault, so his distaste for the Usagi and everything they stand for often feels more personal than warranted.

She's Kenichi's wife, Jota's mom, and formerly (though she herself would prefer it were currently) Yusuke's date. Also coming from a high-standing family that kept clipping her wings, Mari's gone with a totally different coping mechanism from Yusuke's, and has adopted the Fun, Cool Mom label for herself. She will not be made to choose who she's allowed to love, or how intensely. Not anymore.

He's Yusuke, Mariko, and Kenichi's wonderful son, and he was named Jotaro first, okay? Tetsuya just never even knew it. Although his parents have done their best to keep him away from their own complicated family issues, Jota has become a very emotionally intelligent and mature child regardless, and gets frustrated when they insist on babying him.

She's Keiko's older sister, and Yuki's beloved aunt. Multifaceted, a bit eccentric, and the family's first polyglot, she's constantly learning new skills, and will support and encourage openness of mind in the Usagi as well, though she's not interested in courtly life at all. She was the one to teach Yuki english, and they also learned japanese sign language together, which has led to the two of them having a very deep connection. He often asks and accepts help from her in a way he's never had with anyone, not even his own parents.

He's a young eagle yokai raised under Bishop's orders and yokai fear-mongering. He would eventually become Mikey's best friend, and, as he unlearns his misguided beliefs and opens up to others, he occasionally stumbles upon the Usagi, who are keen to adopt angry street rats like him.

Would you like to learn how I draw our characters?

I'm currently working on a series of RRCU character design notes, so check that out!

We have a RRCU server! Join HERE!

Check out our FREE zine art collections!

RRCU: Origins

Banner art by @rhinocio

This is not an exhaustive list of RRCU fics! There are more works in the series that won't be featured here. This space is meant to showcase the fics I personally think are most relevant and essential to understand the rabbit characters, their lore and main storyline.

Find the entire RRCU fic series HERE!!

After a mysterious alien invasion has destroyed New York City, Usagi Yuki's trip to meet his american friend Leo becomes a trip to help the denizens of New York instead.

Category: Gen

Setting: Post-ROTTMNT Movie canon

Status: Completed

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Chapters: 7

Characters featured: Yuki-centric. Also features Sakiko, Tetsuya, Keiko, and (briefly) Toshiko and Jojo.

Why read this one?: This is probably the best introduction to the RRCU if you're already a fan of Rise and want to see an interesting take on teen Usagi. It features a bunch of familiar secondary characters and settings from Rise.

Famed samurai Usagi Tetsuya's wife just passed, and he is left to live alone with a teenaged boy and the guilt of their estranged family. As the eldest daughter of her clan of assassins, Toshiko is expected to succeed her mother and earn her place as mistress of the clan. However, she must first complete one last mission: kill the head of the Usagi family.

Category: F/M

Setting: Hidden Tokyo, spanning from the time leading to the Shredder's awakening to some time after the ROTTMNT movie canon.

Status: Work In Progress

Rating: Mature

Chapters: 5/9

Characters featured: Tetsuya and Toshiko-centric. Also features Yuki, Keiko, Yusuke, Sakiko and baby Jojo.

Why read this one?: If you're interested in Tetsuya's side of the story, and/or would like to delve into a fully original Hidden City, and/or are into a POV-switching romance story between older characters with terrible secrets, this is the one for you.

Usagi Yusuke is the second son of Hidden Tokyo's Usagi Clan. He is a mediocre, masterless samurai-in-training. He is also, abruptly, a father. The last of those, according to his elder brother, is a shameful thing. The last of those, in Yusuke's opinion, makes the former unimportant. He will do what he must to provide for his son, even if that means moving half a world away and cutting ties with his family entirely. Of course, just because he has loved and let go does not mean his nephew has the same intention.

Banner art by @rhinocio

Category: Multi

Setting: Post-ROTTMNT Movie canon, alternating with Hidden Tokyo flashback chapters.

Status: Work In Progress

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Chapters: 23/46

Characters featured: Yusuke-centric. Also heavily features every other rabbit character.

Why read this one?: If you're looking to understand why the Usagi Family is the way it is, the nature of all their issues and exactly how they get through them as a family, this is the one fic you should check out. It is also my most favorite one, personally.

It’s not like him. Not like either of them, rushing into a game without joking about it first. They’ve got an established back and forth, and they've been using it for years: Leonardo’s the Rebel Leader who teases like he means something, Usagi’s the Bodyguard who humours him, and nothing they say ever goes anywhere.

Banner art by @rhinocio

Category: M/M

Setting: ROTTMNT Apocalypse timeline.

Status: Work In Progress

Rating: Explicit

Chapters: 12/21

Characters featured: Leo and Yusuke-centric. I will update this section if more RRCU characters are featured.

Why read this one?: Those of you looking for leosagi smut that's mature and has an Usagi with an interesting backstory should absolutely check this one out. This is also a peek into what Yusuke is like in the Krang-dominated apocalypse, where he never gets a chance to face his many issues.

Banner art by @rhinocio

Browse commentary and artwork here on tumblr through the tags!

Main tag: RRCU

Character design notes tag: RRCU design notes

Tags by fic: ROTMRfic, H&Hfic, under the sword lifted high, NONUfic

Tags by character: usagi yuki, usagi yusuke, usagi tetsuya, usagi keiko, usagi toshiko, usagi jotaro, usagi jota, usagi jojo, yoshikawa kenichi, kobayashi mariko, payne

We hope you guys enjoy playing in the rabbit sandbox with us! Please, don't hesitate to comment, send asks or just chat with us! This is our pride and joy and it makes us so happy to know people enjoy our work!

[swaps55]

Mezzo - Chapter 13 - Wolves

Pairing: mshenko | Rating: M

Tags: Canon-typical violence, trauma, dealing with your problems poorly, body autonomy struggles  

Summary: The twists and turns of ME2, through the eyes of everyone but Commander Shepard.

Chapter Summary: Liara’s decisions come back to haunt. Joker finds himself in unexpected company. Mordin makes a discovery. Garrus is summoned to solve an aquatic mystery. Shepard’s biggest fan gets a cameo. AKA, The Normandy arrives at Illium and everyone is awkward about it.

Chapter 13: Wolves | Read on Ao3

21 December 2185, Crescent Nebula, Tasale System, Illium Liara curls her fingers around the railing, gaze locked on the observation window at the ghost ship coasting into Docking Bay 93. The last time she’d seen the Normandy, she’d been in pieces over Alchera, reduced to nothing but shrapnel tumbling past the tiny escape pod where she’d spent nearly thirty hours waiting for rescue, Caroline Grenado’s blood smeared across her hardsuit. (I will not leave you here alone.) The ship now parked serenely in Bay 93 is the wrong size, painted the wrong colors. The smoke, the leaking coolant, the shattered hull have all been erased. Ships had never meant much to Liara. Before the Normandy they were nothing more than a conduit between stars, a gateway to uncharted worlds where secrets lay buried in stone, waiting for her to discover them. Before the Normandy, she’d never even bothered to unpack a suitcase on a starship. But then Shepard had come to her rescue on Therum. Instead of focusing all her energy on the history dead and buried on all of those worlds, she’d come to care about the future, and what little of it there might be left. When she’d first boarded the Normandy, she’d had no bag to unpack even if she had wanted to. Her stay was to be as temporary as every other ship she had been on. But then Alenko had presented her with a small prothean flute they’d found on Feros. He’d had a case made for it on the Citadel and hung it for her in Dr. Chakwas’ back office. In that moment, the small space she had borrowed had become hers.   Do you think it still plays? Alenko had asked. Shall we find out? she had replied, before gently removing the flute from its case and playing a note, perhaps the first sound it had made in over fifty thousand years. The flute, like the Normandy, like Shepard, like Caroline Grenado, had all been lost over Alchera. But the ship, at least, has been reborn. And Shepard is aboard. Liara could not take back Grenado’s death. But she – or Cerberus, rather – had taken back his. She kneads her fingers as she waits. Curse the Nos Astra Docking Authority for all their blithering and bureaucracy. She has arrived much too early, but nothing to be done about it now. The last time she had seen Shepard remains perfectly clear in her memory. Slouching in a chair over coffee in the mess, digging at the gravity well even more than usual, excitement over getting back out in the Mako bleeding out as kinetic energy. See you later, T’Soni, he’d said as she’d taken her leave, crooked smile on his face. Now, at last, his words might be true. His death had taken so much with him. Any hope they had of learning what secrets Ilos held that might save them from the reapers had been locked in the prothean cipher he had possessed. Only Shiala could have closed that knowledge gap, but nearly a year since her disappearance from Feros, Liara hasn’t been able to recover her, either. But even Shiala did not have the Eden Prime beacon in her head. Shepard, be it through luck, fate, or sheer force of will, had been singularly unique. Without him, their galactic cycle may very well end the way the prothean’s had, and so many who had come before them. Snuffed out, world by world, until there was nothing left but scattered relics. Would, perhaps, some alien creature find some trinket of Liara’s and wonder who had held it, the way she’d held that flute? The Normandy hadn’t just taught her to start tending to the future. It had taught her to live in her present. Early mornings with Shepard over coffee. Daily calisthenics with Williams. Garrus and Wrex’s determined efforts to improve her aim with a pistol. Listening to Tali talk about her love stories. Alenko’s late night cooking. It had been so long since Liara had raised her head above her work and just…indulged in the people around her. Two years later, her heart still aches at the memory of Shepard’s final smile.      At long last, the airlock hisses open. Her heart jumps. She stands straighter. There he is.

Read from the beginning | Read the rest on Ao3 | The Mezzo Playlist

[oodlesodoodles]

[ladynecropolis]

this is a post about charlie pace: this wasn't a story about redemption.

so I started thinking a lot about him recently cause of some discussion I've been having and i thought I'd make some of my more complex opinions about his character arc known.

to preface this, I have to say 1: I am biased in his favor because he's my favorite character in the show. i will not pretend anything I'm about to say here is objectively correct, he's my little man. and 2: this post contains spoilers for like, his entire storyline? reader discretion is advised.

charlie pace, of all the characters I've ever truly loved, might be the most chronically misunderstood character I have ever known. this is in part about people who dislike him, but I honestly see it more often with people who do like him. he's frequently treated like a totally innocent victim of circumstance, for one thing, a total sweetheart who gets treated unfairly by the people around him and winds up having to earn their respect in the end, through a heroic act of self-sacrifice. on the other hand, it's also very easy to take that concept and twist it into some sort of redemption, claiming that his martyrdom was the ending of his character's journey from darkness to light, or whatever. that this was somehow absolution, the only way he could be forgiven for the mistakes he's made his entire life.

and to me, this feels...wrong. it feels like a failure to fully grasp the weight of his final decision, reducing it to something as simple as a final moment of redemption, when his arc...isn't about redemption. it was never about redeeming himself; he wasn't a character who needed to be redeemed. and to claim that he was feels like a fundamental misinterpretation of one of the central themes of his entire character.

so let's backtrack a bit—I want to talk about his character in season one.

in season one, at first, he's largely shown to be...well, kind of an asshole. he's definitely meant to be one of the more unserious types in the group, and he's very quickly understood by other characters to be someone you just don't take seriously, what with all his talk, and he falls into this spot within the social dynamic that immediately marks him as a sort of...unspoken burden. he falls in with the people who aren't immediately useful and thus are there to be protected and not to protect. (this is part of his bond with claire, more on that later.) and there's definitely a sense that he'd rather not be there—he's someone who wants very badly to be taken seriously, and can't be. this is the beginning of the very clear bitterness and jealousy he displays throughout his entire time on the show.

he's also...incredibly self absorbed in a way that probably has one of the biggest impacts on his personal relationships. he has a tendency to take things as personal slights when they really aren't about him at all, and a lot of his motivations early on are primarily selfish. the thing I always, always source when talking about this is the scene early on where someone is drowning and charlie lies saying that he can't swim, when the truth is he just didn't want to get his heroin wet; the fact that he can, in fact, swim, is very important.

and that leads me to the third important thing about his character early on, which is, of course, the heroin abuse.

which at the time is an extremely important aspect of his character, the arc where he's pressured by locke into quitting juxtaposed with the story of why he started using to begin with, and it's meant to be such a massive triumph for his character that he's able to overcome this. but, like, the way this is treated narratively, it's more of a symbol than an actual part of the story on its own. ( @lost-inanotherlife makes an excellent point about this in her own post here.) but more on that later.

charlies character takes a fascinating turn later in season one during the ethan rom arc, and one that really solidified him as my favorite the first time I saw it. this is the arc where we are introduced the the concept of the Others, and it becomes a massive threat to claire in particular. yes, they do wound charlie personally, too (specifically, he gets hanged in a tree, which was insane), but this isn't about that, because that doesn't matter to him as much. let me explain.

in the episode homecoming, we see a very washed up charlie, a charlie who has been reduced to stealing from people for heroin money. and then we see him meet somebody who he genuinely wants to care for. this person is, however, somebody he is supposed to be stealing from. this ends disastrously, another failure by charlie to do the right thing, another glaring reminder for him that he can't take care of anyone. this is paralleled with his story with claire here, where he is haunted by his failure to protect her from ethan, and that failure, that guilt and subsequent anger as he pins it on ethan, is why ethan rom is killed.

it's honestly a very strong moment for me with his character, because of everything it tells us—how badly he wants to be able to care for someone, and how much it frightens him when he can't.

in season two, this concept comes together with the narrative device that is his prior heroin dependency.

largely, in the story, his heroin dependency is used as a symbol of several aspects in his life, a major one being the fact that he isn't taken seriously by anybody. he starts using because he feels uncared for/unloved by his brother, who, as it happens, also seems to care more for the heroin than he does for charlie. (even after his brother cleans up his act, charlie doesn't stop—which serves as a different symbol altogether. more on that later.) and when charlie starts having..even more problems in season 2, what does it come back to, of course, but the heroin.

it's important to note that he does not relapse. it's also important to note that every time he has a serious issue in this arc, everyone assumes that he has, and as a result he will not be listened to. which is obviously unfair. his already precarious social status is on a knife's edge, and he winds up destroying his relationship with claire, even before his breakdown.

now I get to talk about fire+water. my favorite! buckle in.

fire+water is a pretty dramatic culmination both of the idea of Not Being Listened To and of the desire to protect something. in this case, aaron. it very aggressively brings out charlies fear that he won't be able to save anything , ever—that his presence is worthless at best and makes things worse at worst. and he tries so hard to do the right thing. or at least what he's convinced it is. but his attempts at being a protector here just make him a threat. he isn't heard, because when it's charlie, it must be the bloody drugs, right?

he's convinced he has to save aaron, from...something. it's a very catholic episode—I mean, this is lost, right? but really, it's no coincidence that this happened when it did, and it's no coincidence that this carried the themes it did. the idea that the only way to save the baby is to baptize him—that idea, coming to charlie through those visions? the dream he has, where he, as a child, essentially is told by his parents that he's going to have to be the one to save their family. of course, he can't even save himself.

which is probably the most important part of it all—he can't save himself, and that means he cant save anything else, either, can he? the episode brings to light this troubling circular thing within him. he knows, from a very early point, that he's ruined his own chances of being saved, but he still wants to believe there's hope, so he tries to protect something else because maybe, maybe, if he can do that, there's hope for him, too.

the baptism thing is interesting. this particular interpretation was brought to my attention by the very lovely @bagelcult to whom I owe this and much more—the desire to absolve the baby of sin takes on a fascinating angle when you consider the idea that charlie views himself as being full of the stuff. sin, that is. it begs the question—is he trying to save the baby from himself? is his innate understanding that he is always crashing and burning the reason why? if he can save someone else from himself, is it possible he could save himself, too?

in the end, he fails, and is punished for it severely. because he's not a protector, of course. he will never have that respect.

he spends the rest of season two bitter and lonely, but this isn't about that. he'd probably have found a different reason to be bitter and lonely anyway. that's just how he rolls

but things get really interesting again with regards to his doomed status when desmond hume enters the scene—this one's another favorite of mine.

desmond exists in the narrative of charlie pace as a kind of memento mori. he's here as a both a victim and a symbol of the fate that will inevitably befall charlie, and he spends the entire season trying to save him, hereby proving that he can't be saved. it's all very sisyphean.

(heres a parallel for your consideration: what if desmond wants to save charlie to prove the narrative can be altered? what if he wants to save himself, too?)

much of this is a back and forth fight between knowing what must happen and wanting to stop it anyway. there's a lot I could say here about that, because I've thought so much about des and charlie that it's probably giving me brain damage, but that's for a later post. what it boils down to is blind desperation, and eventual acceptance. charlie reaches acceptance before desmond does.

because charlie has known within him for a very long time that he was doomed, even before all this. he was teetering in the balance of fate for such a long time now, and des exists as the last thread holding charlie back from oblivion. it creates an extremely unstable tether that they both know must be cut, but one of them is refusing to let go.

which is why it's very, very important to me that charlies death was a decision he made. instead of allowing desmond to take his place, he is resigned to what must happen now.

and a part of that is acceptance that he was doomed from the start, but a part of that is also, I think, still his need to save something. he'd sacrifice himself just for the possibility he might be able to protect the people dear to him, because all he ever wanted was to be able to do that. and it settles pretty much his biggest thing; no, he can't save himself, but that doesn't mean he can't save you.

so, you might be asking yourself now: hey, nicky, what the hell are you talking about?

what I'm saying here is that this isn't a matter of redemption. that's a lazy way to look at it, honestly. to say this is a matter of redemption implies that charlie is someone who needed to be redeemed, and he didn't. he wasn't (on a moral level) ever low enough to need to be raised higher. he mightve, to a point, believed himself to be as such, but that was never the point with him. for all his character development into the sort of person who would do this, it was something that was, to an extent, always with him. it's not a story about how someone like him must die to be forgiven. it's far more complex than that. it's moreso about proving that he can, despite how everything in his life was always pushing him toward a bitter end, ultimately do good for someone else, even though he was made to believe he couldn't. it's about looking your inevitable doom in the eye and saying you're gonna make this count. he's allowed to own his death in the end, and it's not about somehow repairing his moral worth. lost is a show about cycles, and he intended to break one, because he couldn't break his own.

as for the use of drug dependency as a symbol of that, well, again, there's a much better post about that linked in a previous paragraph. the optics of that suck. but it's moreso a product of the writers just overlooking it, i think. the idea that his drug dependency serves as a symbol of his downfall might be a sloppy writing choice. if you see it that way. but I kind of don't. I mostly saw the drug thing as being about his loneliness, which is a separate issue. I mean, he quits. like, in the story. maybe a part of that ties into the ultimate thing with him; there's a decision that has to be made, and that's the only way you can break the cycle.

or something.

I dunno, I think about him a lot. I've always been of the opinion that he was supposed to die in the crash, honestly.

I know this sounds like I'm giving the writers a lot of credit, so let me just say...no. lmao. I don't know if the writers intended any of this. with the sheer amount of shit they totally fumbled on this show, there's every likelihood that the majority of the things I just said were completely by accident. but, hey, art is what we make of it! you bring your own baggage to the fictional media and call it analysis.

I think that's all I had to say on that. thanks for taking a look. feel free to argue with me, that's what I log on for!

[mifflebat]

“ late night “

this one was a challenge to draw but here it is!! little mikey and donnie comic,, set probably a couple days after splinter’s passing.

(i said he’d be a good dad,, i never specified for how long)

enjoy!!

[deadlypastelcutieart]

No matter what kind of goth you are, your awsome in any style! 💀🖤

Background used from freepik.

[niidsch]

Would you be able to share some of your gif making process/programs you use to make them? They look great! 💕

Omg thank you,,, 🥺💕💖💕 And yes ofc! I'm going to write down everything I can think of about my gif making process but if I forget anything/you have questions about something specific let me know! ✨

(Long post ahead)

Emulators & Recording

I use different emulators and recording programs, depending on the game I want to play/record:

DesMuMe: This is the one I use for DS games, and it comes with a neat “Record AVI” feature under the “File” tab. Just click it, choose a location for the file and click OK (make sure the Compressor is set to “Full frames (No compression)”). Recordings have a limit of 2 minutes/2GB, but when it reaches it, the program will automatically create a new file and keep recording until it reaches 2 minutes, and the process will repeat (the next recordings will have “part_X” in the name file). When you’re done recording, just lick on File > Stop AVI. Also! The recordings will always have the original resolution. My DesMuMe is set to be 2x its size with a gap between the screens, but all recordings are 256x384 pixels with no gap.

VisualBoyAdvance: Like DesMuMe but for GBA games. Also has a recording feature in Tools > Record > Start AVI recording. The resolution of the video will be that of the original game but I think there’s no limit on how long the recording can be. I’d still recommend stopping and restarting the recording every 5 minutes or so.

Other games & OBS Studio: For 3DS games I use Citra, and Dolphin for Wii ones. They both have Recording features but I don’t use them because they create weird files. Instead, I record them with OBS Studio. Open the program, click on "Start Recording" and then on "Stop Recording" when you’re done. Pretty simple, just remember OBS records your screen so obviously if your emulator window is minimized it won’t record it. You can change your OBS settings to only record the emulator window but I’m too lazy to tinker with OBS so I just record the whole screen lol. There’s always a slight loss of quality with OBS. If you’re recording games with 3DS models then it won’t be too noticeable, but I do not recommend using OBS for pixel/pixelated games like Nintendo DS and Game Boy ones.

Misc: Before OBS, I used to use Camtasia Studio 8. Also does the trick, but instead of saving a .mp4 file it creates its own type of file and it requires you to manually export it as a .mp4 (it's a hassle). It has some editing features too, which OBS does not as far as I can tell. Also, besides DesMuMe I have MelonDS. Highly recommend it if you need to use the multiplayer option (to trade pokemons between games for example) and most importantly for the better mic feature (you WON’T get past the Nintendogs tutorial on DesMuMe). Also the 3D model graphics are of higher quality, but it doesn’t have a recording feature so you will have to rely on OBS and as I said it lowers the quality.

As for video file types, both .avi and .mp4 are allowed in Photoshop. However, .mkv (mostly used for TV shows and movie files) is not, so if you want to edit, say, an anime episode in that format you’ll need to convert it to .mp4. I use Format Factory for that, although I think here’s a slight quality loss.

Here's a comparison of a pixel game recorded with OBS vs with DesMuMe. It's tiny but it will have you shaking the screen violently when you notice it.

OBS recording vs. DesMuMe recording

Do not delete or move the video file until you’re done making gifs of it. Even if you save the file as a .psd, you will get an error message if the video file is gone from its original location and you'll have to start over again.

Editing (I)

I exclusively use Photoshop 2020. If you use CSP, GIMP or other editing program you’ll have to find the equivalent features or look at other tutorials, because I’m only familiar with Photoshop. Other PS versions should have either the same or similar features. Here are the steps I usually follow (names might be wrong because my PS is in Spanish “OTL):

Importing: Drag and drop your file into PS. You should have your Timeline window on the bottom part. If you import a .mp4 or .avi file you should get the Video Timeline, which is what we will work with. If you export a .gif you will get the Frame Animation Timeline; in that case you need to convert it to a single timeline. Click on “Convert to Timeline Video”, then select all the layers (click on Layer 1 and then hold Shift+Click on the last layer) and then right-click on the last layer > “Convert to Intelligent Object”. This is what your PS window should look like for both cases:

avi/mp4 file (has a Video Timeline) vs. gif file (has a Frame Animation Timeline)

Cutting and resizing: Often your file will either be the wrong size or have unnecessary parts. To resize your video, go to Image > Image Size (NOT Canvas size) and change the resolution. For good gif quality, the image resolution should always be 540 pixels wide (Tumblr’s image size), height doesn’t really matter. PS will change the height proportionally if you change the width. So, for example, a 1440x1080 video will be 540x405 after the conversion. Similarly, you can crop out parts with the Selection tool + Image > Crop. Making pixel games bigger requires a different method (more on this later).

Cropping vs. Resizing

Cutting the timeline: Your gif will likely be too long, or you might need to stitch two parts together. In the Timeline window, move the vertical red line to the part where you want to make the cut. You can precisely move frame by frame with the arrows next to the play button. You can also zoom in and out the timeline with the slider at the bottom. Once you’ve placed the red line on the part where you want to make a cut, click on the scissors. You’ll get two layers – delete the one you don’t need and repeat until your gif is the right length. Similarly, you can click on either end of the timeline and drag it left and right to extend/reduce the length, but it’s less precise. I recommend moving the gif layer out of the video group in the Layer window, especially if you’re going to stitch parts together or add new layers that aren’t Color adjustment layers (like your watermark). If you do so, you’ll notice that each layer occupies a different line in the timeline, while if it’s in a group, it will all be in the same line (this means that all layers will be one after the other, you won’t be able to overlay them).

Cutting the timeline (1-3) + Moving the gif layer out of the video group (4)

Color adjustments: The fun part! You can get hella crazy with this one. If you want to go for really fancy stuff, I recommend checking out @/usergif, they have lots of tutorials and gifsets you can use as inspiration. I am however a simple man and will mostly use the same tools: Sharpen, Hue/Saturation, Gradient Map and Curves.

Soft sharpen in the Filters tab + Curves, Hue/Saturation and Gradient Map in the Layer window

Editing (II)

Can't make a bullet list of a bullet list so here's each adjustment layer explained. Note that this part is very personal so feel free to tinker with the settings for each tool until you get what you like:

Sharpen: Used only with non pixel media, aka for 3D models and series/movies. It makes the image look sharper. You'll notice that the video layer can have two icons: a movie film or a folded paper (in the "Import" section, the Pokémon gif has a movie film icon, while the converted Nintendogs gif has a folded paper icon). If your layer has the former, the sharpen tool will only be applied to one frame. To avoid that, right-click on the layer > Convert to intelligent object. Resizing the image will also do the trick. Filters are always applied to the layer, they don't create a new one (this is what the rest of the following adjustments will do). As for settings, this is what I usually have:

Two types of Sharpen settings (original on the left)

Hue/Saturation: Changes both the global colors and specific hues. To do the latter, open the menu right above all three sliders (by default it's set to "All") and then choose the color you want to change. Be careful! Sometimes you might accidentally edit the wrong hue, for ex a bluish green if you are editing blue hues. If you want to see what parts of the gif you're targeting, set the saturation to the max. Colors play a heavy role on gif size: the more diverse and brighter the color palette, the bigger the file. Gif size will be the ruin of your gif making process, so don't go too overboard with this. More on gif size later, but for now, I recommend "unifying" the color palette (aka making some hues similar).

Two examples of Hue/Saturation adjustments (Original above)

Gradient map: Adds a gradient overlay to the image. When you open the Gradient Map window, click on the gradient and you'll be able to edit it or create a new one. To do so, click on the tiny boxes with colors (only the lower ones, the upper ones won't work), then on the slightly bigger box to change the hue. To add a color, click anywhere below the gradient; to move the colors around, drag the tiny boxes and move them, and to edit the limit between each hue, drag the tiny diamond. The way gradient maps work is by editing the colors from lighter (right) to darker (left). So if you have blue on the right of the gradient, light hues will be blue, and if you have pink on the left of the gradient, dark hues will be pink, with mid tones being a mix of pink and blue (either purple, or bluish purple or pinkish purple). The image will look weird when you add a gradient map, but don't mind that for now. Just create the gradient you want and click OK. Now, select the new layer that has been created and play with the blending modes and the opacity of the layer until you get something you like. For blending modes, I usually go for the ones in the second and third sections. To edit either the Hue/Saturation layer or the Gradient Map one, click on the black and white icons (left to the mask, aka the white box) in the Layer window.

Video showing how Gradient map works

Two examples of Gradient maps, with a readjustment of the Hue/Saturation layer (Original above)

Curves: Edits the light, dark and mid tones. Click any point in the curve/line and then drag it around to see what it does. You can make more than one point in the curve. Afterwards, change the blending mode and the opacity.

An example of a Curve and the same example with the Curves layer at 40%

Gaussian blur: Sometimes I add a blurry/fuzzy effect to certain gifs. To do so, duplicate the gif layer (right-click > Duplicate layer), then, while selecting the new layer, go to Filters > Gaussian blur and pick a small numer (0,4-1). Click OK, set the blending mode of the new layer to Darken and lower the opacity.

Two examples of images with Gaussian blur applied (Original above)

Watermark: Add a watermark to your image. Click on the Text tool, create a text box, pick the font, the size, the color and the placement, and then click the ✔ button. Change the blending mode and opacity of the text layer. Personally, I have a .png image of my watermark that I just import to the gif and then edit, instead of creating a text box everytime. Regarding watermarks, I get that they are annoying but it's going to be far more annoying when someone reposts your gif without credit or crops the watermark out. Tumblr sucks when it comes to reporting this kind of stuff and you deserve to have your work respected (you've spent time and effort on this!!), so I highly recommend putting a watermark on your gifs. If you want to avoid having someone crop it, put it towards the middle of the image and not in a place that can be edited easily. Also, I usually save gifs without a watermark and add it afterwards.

Red: Danger zone, can get cropped easily. Blue: Also Danger zone, can be edited out. Green: Too obtrusive. Yellow: Perfect place, can't be edited out and it's not on the main focus of the image

Exporting

This is the "hell on earth" part. To export a gif, go to File > Export > Save for Web (Legacy), then once it loads (may take some time), play the gif a couple of times to make sure it looks good and save it. These are my settings:

Settings for the Save for Web (Legacy). You'll only need to tinker with the settings on the right.

However, there's one thing to keep in mind: Tumblr has a size limit of 10MB per gif, meaning your gif won't be uploaded if it's larger than that, and you'll be surprised how easily you can surpass that limit. Also, gifs can't be longer than 500 frames, aka 8 seconds (to check the duration of your gif, zoom in in the Timeline Window, you can see the seconds at the top). Here are some pointers regarding gif size:

Pixel games and anime have a smaller size than life-action and 3D models: This is because the former have limited color palettes and the latter has way more colors. For example, Pokémon Mystery Dungeon or Sailor Moon will rarely pose problems, but Arcane, Breaking Bad, Nintendogs or Baldur's Gate 3 will.

The more complex the animation/motion, the bigger the size: This is because complex animations/motions, like a fight, have more unique frames than, say, someone moving their head up and down and nothing else, and that means there's more information to store.

The longer the gif/the bigger the resolution, the bigger the size: Kind of self-explanatory, longer gifs or gifs with big resolutions means more information stored in the file.

Bright and diverse color palettes increase the gif size: As explained in the first point, more colors means more information and thus a bigger file size.

The more it exceeds the limit, the bigger the changes you'll have to make: If it's 10.5MB you can get that number down easily. If it's like 20MB, you might need to cut the gif in half.

How do you solve this? There are a couple of methods:

Make the gif shorter: In the Timeline window, cut parts of your gif until it's short enough. If you don't want to delete certain parts, you can divide your gif in two separate ones.

Make the colors less bright/unify the color palette with an Hue/Saturation layer: If you haven't done this in the editing process and your gif exceeds 10MB, it's time to edit the gif colors.

Reduce the color palette: In the Save for Web (Legacy), you'll see that there's "Colors: 256" on the left (marked in green in the screenshot). 256 is the max amount of colors you can have, but you can reduce it. PS will automatically get rid of colors that have a smaller presence first (for example, in the anime gif above, if I reduced the colors it would get rid of the reds and magentas before the yellows or the blues).

Change the settings in the Save for Web (Legacy) window: Besides the color palette, there's a setting on the right side, marked in red in the screenshot above (the first one). I have it set to "Adaptable", which is the highest setting, but you can change it to "Perceptual", "Selective" or "Restrictive". This will lower the quality and thus the size, but sometimes it might mess up the gif. Similarly, you can change the setting below that one (set to "Motive" in the screenshot) to "Noise", "Difusion" or none at all to change the quality and size.

Optimize the gif: I use ezgif.com for this. Click on "Optimizer", upload your gif, make the Compression level smaller, click on "Optimize" and then save your gif. This will inevitably lower the quality, so I usually don't go lower than 35. Also, try to get your gif right below the 10MB limit, so if a compression level of 20 gets your gif to 9.5MB but a 15 gets it down to 9.9MB, choose 15. ezgif also has other cool features like one to slow down your gif's speed, so check it out!

Don't make gifs of media that causes problems: If you regularly find yourself being frustrated with gifs of X media exceeding the size limit, you might need to find something else. It sucks to think that you might not be able to make gifs of your favourite piece of media, but gif making should be fun, not ruin your day. Of course, it's up to you to decide how much effort you're willing to put on a gif, but don't overexert yourself either.

The Save for Web (Legacy) window is also where you can make your gif bigger in the case of pixel/pixelated games like Pokémon Mystery Dungeon or Nintendogs. In the "Image Size" section, set the quality to "Nearest Neighbor" and the percentage to 200% to double its size (it will be somewhat close to 540 pixels wide). You can make the gif three, four or even more times its size wih this method.

Closing thoughts and results

Managing a gif blog would require a whole new post with some advice so I'll leave that out for now. There are other things I've also left out like actions (highly recommend learning about them) but these are the basics methinks. Again, if you have any questions, my ask box is open ✨

And here are the gifs with a comparison to the original 🎉

Sharpen, Hue/Saturation, Gradient map and Gaussian blur

Sharpen, Hue/Saturation, Gradient map, Curves and Gaussian blur

Hue/Saturation and Gradient Map

[loreleisims]

hii im sorry if this is too personal or if u dont want to give this out but i was wondering what skin details/skin overlays u use? or ones that you'd recommend? i love ur sims btw

hi, love!! thank u sm<3 and this isn't too personal at all!

skins: i mostly use skins & face masks by @thisisthem, @sims3melancholic and @plushxsims (i would link my faves but i basically use all of their skin stuff lol)

eyes: default eyes / contacts: everything by @remussirion but faves: 1, 2 / eyebags: 1, 2 (N6 & N7) / undereye highlight / eye highlight

lips & teeth: lip liner / lip highlight / teeth

face: fav freckles + everything by @sims3melancholic / moles / once again use pretty much all face highlights by @sims3melancholic but here are some faves: 1, 2, 3, 4

eyebrows: ...everything by @sims3melancholic and @obscurus-sims!

body: body highlights: 1, 2 / body blush / cleavage masks / stretch marks

aaaand that's pretty much it! hope this helps<3

[aris-ink]

Would you like to give us some series recs. (Angsty,,mature)typa series

💕💕💕💕💕

series... okay, these are easier to remember, enjoy angel 💖

min yoongi, three tangerines by kithtaehyung. slow burn, slight age gap, brother's best friend, angst, fluff, pining, tension, romance, smut. really beautiful writing. long chapters.

kim namjoon, he's your father's best friend by your-daily-biaswrecking. 👀 this isn't so much a series as it is a drabble with two parts, but it had to be mentioned here bc like >>> dilf!namjoon, age gap, angst, smut. I first came across this story ages ago and I never forgot it, the way the angst and the reunion scene were written did so many things to my heart 😩

kim seokjin, off limits by floralseokjin. brother's best friend, slight angst, fluff, smut. no words no words no words 💖

if you're looking for series that contain some good angst, lots of comfort and amazing smut I am referring you to my queen @beahae 👑 seriously stunning, touching writing, her masterlist is one of my favorite places to go back to for comfort ♥️

jeon jungkook, ex on the beach

ot7, unorthodox

if you're in the mood for series with angst, lots of comfort, lots of fluff and mature themes without the smut, I refer you to my other talented queen @imnotlauriane. I don't even know which series to recommend, I started reading three so far, but I guess she's a magician or something because she comes out with something new and wonderful ALL THE TIME so

here is the masterlist <3

if you'd prefer darker fantasy with these themes and some more amazing smut, please check out claret cravings by @vvh0adie ❤️

hello?! mortician witch reader and seven adorable, possessive vampire bats 🦇 the story is so, so incredibly well written, creative and has the kind of gothic vibes I absolutely love and can't find anywhere else.

speaking of dark fantasy mixed in with these themes and more remarkable writing — @yoongsisbae

masterlist

pick and choose — zombies, werewolves, end of the world. bewitching is the only word I can think of here. I'm only starting my journey through these and I'm in so so love. as I knew I would be ♥️

@jeonggukieverse!!! 🌹fantastic yandere, mystery thrillers. again, I couldn't find works like hers anywhere else. perfection if you ask me, not only in regards to the horror aspect of it, but also the writing itself. 💗

jeon jungkook, bunny boy.

jeon jungkook, let the games begin.

@orchidyoonkook 💐

jeon jungkook, to what we were before, and all the things after. smut, fluff, angst, slow burn. again, only starting my journey here but <3 dreamy and beautiful, yes please to the entire concept of Jungkook as a prince, golden minds create golden stories I guess 💯💞

@deepdarkdelights 💘 this one is so obvious, but I completely fell in love with the outstanding writing style and the unique plot.

jeon jungkook, ten seconds. yandere, angst, smut, hurt/comfort themes.

please don't forget to send the talented authors some love <3

[indigodawns]

hello <3 does anyone have any last-minute tips for idk . enjoying a (taemin!!!!!!!) concert when you have autism + adhd? HSJSJSJS