#wheres that post about new fans experiencing heartbreaking media for the first time and the old fans laughing

[mychlapci]

just finshed reading the oscar winning transformers comic Lost Light published by IDW stusdio l9ve and peace on planat earth

[amberfaber40]

The 21 Best Grumpy Cat Memes And Quotes About Love And Life

The 21 Best Grumpy Cat Memes And Quotes About Love And Life

Who Is Grumpy Cat? The viral cat whose real name is Tardar Sauce is a viral sensation on social media. These are the best Grumpy Cat memes, videos and snarky quotes about love, relationships, and life to share on Facebook, Pinterest and Instagram.

What's wrong with you?

Look at All the Cute Celebrity Kids (and Grumpy Cat) at the 'Cinderella' Premiere

Stars big, small, and furry came out to celebrate the live-action 'Cinderella' over the weekend.

This Japanese Grumpy Cat Will Be Your New Spirit Animal

A new cat with sass is on the rise and she even makes Grumpy Cat look nice. Introducing Koyuki, a 9-year-old Scottish Fold cat from Yokohama, Japan, who's

The Surliest Pics of Grumpy Cat and Her Many Celebrity Fans

The Internet's most beloved cat died this week at age 7

Grumpy Cats Meme Generator

Love makes the world go round... except when it doesn't. We've all been there before, to that place where your outlook on love is, well, not so bright. We've all experienced our fair share of relationship challenges, heartbreaks, and messy breakups.And who else out there has the power to remind you with just a momentary glimpse of their bitter face of just how incredibly terrible love can make you feel than Grumpy Cat herself?That's right. In case you missed it, Grumpy Cat is a feline of the female persuasion. No wonder she's so gosh darn pissy all the time. Have you been a female on the Internet (let alone in the world!) lately?It's rough out there, I tell you. ROUGH. Previously known by the name she was given at birth (on April 4, 2012), Tardar Sauce, who has both an underbite and feline dwarfism, became an overnight sensation at the tender young age of 5 months, when owner Tabatha Bundensen's brother Bryan took some photos of her perpetually "grumpy" facial expression and posted them on Reddit with the simple caption, "Meet grumpy cat."Meet grumpy cat from pics Reddit user magicsebi decided to help a (literal) brother out, taking it upon themselves to create what seems to be the first ever Grumpy Cat meme.Comment from discussion Meet grumpy cat. From there, a true star — and countless hysterical Grumpy Cat memes — were born.Tabatha, who was a waitress at the time Grumpy Cat memes first started to go viral, told the Telegraph: "I was able to quit my job as a waitress within days of her first appearance on social media and the phone simply hasn't stopped ringing since." And according to Business Insider: "In two years, Bundesen... generated nearly $100 million from Grumpy Cat's paid appearances, book deals, and modeling career, according to The Telegraph (Bundesen tells Huffington Post that amount is inaccurate, but doesn't say if it's high or low). Bundesen believes Grumpy Cat is 'unstoppable.'" While it's been awhile now since we've seen quite as much of Grumpy Cat and her famously bitter memes around these parts of the social media woods, she does appear to be one of those classic staples of comedy history that will never be completely absent. Well, that is, unless Grumpy Cat died, as some people believe is actually the case, but alas, we are not here for such conspiracy theories at this time.RELATED: 8 Most Popular Illuminati Conspiracy Theories About Celebrities, Murders And Famous SongsSo while sweet and sour mixed breed Tardar (her mother is a Calico and her father's breed is unknown, the scoundrel), she remains a potentially eternal symbol for all that is bitter, somewhat angry, sarcastic and resentful about love and romantic relationships.For those of you who have ever known what it means to be crushed by some romantic ideal of love, here are 21 Grumpy Cat memes that will make you feel like the cat's meow once again.1. A Grumpy Cat meme for those who have no time for love."Love is in the air? Get out the gas mask."2. Who needs a relationship when you can stay at home?"Why socialize when there's perfectly good wifi and food at home?"3. A harsh (but totally relatable) Grumpy Cat quote."I'm not saying that I hate you, I'm just saying that if you got hit by a bus, I would be driving that bus."4. No cares given."If I have said or done anything to hurt you, I don't care."5. A Grumpy Cat friendship meme for those people you truly just don't care about."I still can't see us ever being friends."6. Get out of here with those "Free Hugs" signs."Free hugs? Go hug a cactus."7. Share this Grumpy Cat meme with your friends that aren't so bright."I'm sorry that I offended you when I called you stupid. I honestly thought you knew."RELATED: What Does "Salty" Mean (And 12 Memes To Use When You're Feeling It)8. A love quote that starts out cute — but who wants cute?"Love is an open door. Close it."9. A Grumpy Cat quote your talkative friends need to hear."I like the sound you make when you shut up."10. The only Valentine's Day meme for single people you'll ever need."If you're sad about being alone on Valentine's Day, just remember... no one loves you on the other days of the year either."11. There are only two types of people in this world..."There are two kinds of people in this world, and I don't like them."12. There's no truer long-distance relationship meme."You know what's great about a long distance relationship? Nothing."13. Another perfect love quote. "Love is in the air. Try not to breathe."14. People suck."The problem with some people... is that they exist."RELATED: What It Means When Someone Is Being 'Extra' — Plus 17 Hilarious Memes That Explain How To Use It15. The best Grumpy Cat meme for people who love sleep.Related Stories From YourTango:65 Funny Monday Memes To Get You Through The Worst Day Of The Week100 Funny Valentine's Day Memes To Make You Laugh (Or Cry)30 Funny New Year Memes To Ring In 2023 With A Laugh"Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?"16. No hugs, please."You're feeling kinda huggy? I'm feeling kinda stabby."17. An (unrequited) love quote. "If you can't be with the one you love, hate everybody."18. Share this Grumpy Cat meme with the one person you just can't stand."You're like a ray of sunshine hurting peoples' eyes and giving them cancer."19. The best Grumpy Cat meme for scorned women."Flowers and candy? How about fire and brimstone?"20. Shut that Aladdin quote down real quick."I can show you the world. I can show you the door."21. This Lion King quote stood no chance."Can you feel the love? No."RELATED: These 23 Relationship Memes Will Get You Through ANYTHING TogetherGet the best YourTango advice, celebrity news and giveaways in your email inbox daily. And it's free.

[ooops-i-arted]

Child development/Dad-thoughts for Season 2 Episode 8???

Poor little guy.  He has to be so terrified and traumatized by the time we see him again - ripped away from his father by scary bad droids, threatened by Gideon and his scary black sword, weakened from using his powers and blood loss, and we don’t even know if he was awake for any medical procedures that surely would have involved his autonomy, personhood, and fears being completely ignored let alone scary ouchy needles/medical tools.  It’s hard to gauge how he’s doing since we don’t have the entire picture of what he experienced, although we can assume it had to be terrifying.  But when we see him again, he’s patiently sitting by Gideon, apparently having complete faith that Dad will come save him and defeat the bad guy.

I do feel this episode hugely dropped the ball by not showing us Grogu being reunited with Din once Gideon is defeated and Din unshackles him.  It’s such an important missing piece - last we saw Grogu was so terrified he was giving in the Dark Side and harming stormtroopers, then he’s sitting (I infer) paralyzed with fear/scared enough to be quiet and still because of Gideon, and next we see he’s tucked in Din’s arms again.  How was he feeling to be reunited with his dad?  Did Din comfort and reassure him (it would be ooc for Din not to at this point imo)?  Did he feel better knowing that Dad came for him after all?  Sure, we can infer all that, but it’s a big emotional beat that should’ve been present because it impacts The Big Grogu Moment we get later:  Grogu choosing to go with Luke.

I’m not gonna lie, I was really surprised the show went this direction since it seemed like they were setting up Din choosing to keep Grogu as his own and I have my reservations about the story going this way tbh.  But I think Luke taking Grogu (for now) does work.

Season 2 Grogu is a much happier, well-adjusted, and more mature child than Season 1 Grogu.  Season 1 Grogu was quiet, subdued; he had moments of comfort or testing limits but overall generally made himself less noticeable and was hesitant to indicate his needs or wants to anyone, even Din.  Season 2 Grogu is a much more average child; he knows he can indicate what he needs to Din and it will be provided for, even something as the simple emotional comfort of uppies; he chatters more often and isn’t afraid to be more curious, more defiant, and just express himself.  In Season 1 Grogu didn’t even ask for food - probably thinking he’d be ignored - he just caught that frog by himself; Season 2 Grogu has a loving dad who tells him “I see you’re hungry, we’ll get you some food.”  Season 1 Grogu generally just follows Din around, not wanting him out of his sight but rarely requesting interaction until the end of the season but waiting for it to be offered instead; Season 2 Grogu is always running to Din the second he needs anything.  Does trauma magically go away?  No, Grogu is still affected.  But he’s clearly healing and growing under Din’s care, and having a stable adult in the child’s life is one of the biggest things that can reduce a child being affected by Adverse Childhood Experiences.

Grogu seems to know who Luke is, or at least recognize him as a Jedi.  My guess is he did connect with Luke during the Scotty Beam Me Up scene.  So it’s not like a stranger showed up to take him away, this is someone he has “met” and “talked to”.  And since Grogu has the Force, he can sense for sure that this is a nice person and someone who truly can teach him, which eliminates some of the guesswork you usually get when a kid meets their new teacher/a stranger.  So while it looks to Din like some random guy just showed up for his kid, there was more stuff going on below the surface that Din (and the audience) didn’t really see because It’s The Force.  So it isn’t like Grogu is being sent off with the first strange Jedi who rolls up (like on Corvus).

Grogu certainly doesn’t act afraid of Luke or anything other than friendly.  The only issue is separating from his beloved dad.  Grogu will not go unless the person he loves and trusts most in the entire world says it’s okay for him to do so.  He goes up to the screen and almost seems like he wants Din to look and show him “This is an okay guy.  Look he kills things just like you, Dad.” before pointing and trying to get the adults to open the door.  And I definitely got the impression Grogu is calling or otherwise trying to commune with Luke through the Force, telling him “Hey we’re on the bridge, come save us and meet my Dad.”  So Grogu is open and willing to start interacting with Luke - as long as it’s okay with Din.  (And Din in turn trusts Grogu enough to open the doors when Grogu says it’s cool, this guy is okay.)

The #1 thing that makes Luke taking Grogu work for me is that everyone’s consent is involved.  Grogu may be a small child who still needs an adult guardian and guidance in his life but that doesn’t mean he should be carted around without taking his feelings into consideration.  This isn’t like a few episodes ago, where Din tried to hand Grogu over without really seeing if Grogu or Ahsoka were okay with it.  Luke addresses Grogu directly and treats him like a person, accepting that Grogu needs to be involved in this decision; Luke also addresses Din’s worries and even speaks up on Grogu’s behalf (”He wants your permission”).  Grogu is clearly open to the idea of going with Luke - if he didn’t want to, Luke would certainly say so - but also wants to make sure Din is okay with it.  And while Din balks at first, once he realizes that Luke can offer Grogu the training he can’t, he gives Grogu permission to go and even gives him a special good-bye so that Grogu knows how much he means to Din.  And the face-touch seemed to me, at least, to be Grogu saying, Don’t worry Dad, it’s okay to try and reassure him.  And Din tells him in turn “Don’t be afraid.”  The separation is hard, but Din and Grogu both realize that Grogu needs to be trained to use his powers safely.  They’re willing to do what’s right, even when it’s hard, which takes a lot of emotional maturity.  Grogu has certainly grown indeed.

Realistically this probably should’ve taken a lot more time - Din going with Luke to help transition Grogu - but 1. this is a tv show and 2. this is still better than small children usually get in media anyway, since people tend to lump anyone under age 5 as “cute and/or annoying prop for the adult characters.”  Also, we the audience know Luke (the real one, not the OOC Rian Jackoff version).  We know Luke is compassionate and kind and will take good care of Grogu.  If Grogu is troubled by leaving his beloved dad, Luke will do his best to guide Grogu through it, and I personally think that if Grogu ultimately decided this wasn’t for him and wanted Dad?  Luke would pack him up in the X-wing and fly him right to Din.  So ymmv but Luke training Grogu works for me and I think Grogu is in good hands.

I don’t wanna super go into The Discourse but since I know it’s gonna come up in the fandom and since I am a big Jedi fan, I’ll briefly address the whole No Attachments/Jedi Attitudes thing:

No Attachments refers to No Possessiveness, not You Can’t Love Anyone.  The Jedi don’t discourage compassion and love and even family ties, just the whole I’d Commit Genocide For My Loved One (looking at you, Anakin).  This post specifically refutes the comments Filoni made in the Making the Mandalorian show and goes into it way better than I could, if you’re interested.  I’ll just pull out this George Lucas quote: “But [Anakin] has become attached to his mother and he will become attached to Padme and these things are, for a Jedi, who needs to have a clear mind and not be influenced by threats to their attachments, a dangerous situation.”  So Grogu loving and caring about Din isn’t an issue - it’s only an issue when he’s willing to harm and endanger others over it (like choking Cara) or when he becomes so afraid he lashes out without thinking (the stormtrooper free-for-all).

Which is why it’s so important Grogu be trained by someone who knows and understands the power he has.  Even if Grogu still decides not to be a Jedi, he needs to know how to control himself and his power so he doesn’t hurt anyone.

Jedi are allowed contact with family and embrace their original cultures as shown throughout Star Wars media.  There’s no reason to think Luke will snatch Grogu and never let him and Din see each other again even if Luke did follow the prequel Jedi completely (which he didn’t in Legends anyway, which honestly makes more sense to me since so much Jedi knowledge was lost/destroyed by the Empire).

People have always been allowed to leave the Jedi Order.  If Grogu or Din decide “Nope, can’t do this, I want him back” Luke would 100% support them making a decision that works for both of them.

We follow Anakin and Revan because they’re interesting characters and because conflict makes good stories.  The Jedi Order didn’t work for them but most Jedi seem pretty well-adjusted so... I don’t tend to think Anakin is really the baseline we should be going by, y’know?  Grogu has past trauma but he’s been with people who care for him and listen to him.  And not to knock Din at all, but Luke being able to communicate with Grogu is a huge advantage and will actually probably be really good for Grogu.  So I think Grogu is in good hands and won’t be Ruined Forever by training as a Jedi.

And of course Din says they’ll meet again.  He promised.  (And Din & Grogu are Disney’s chief moneymaking duo these days, you want to make your audience worry about your dream team, not break them up permanently.)  So I think Grogu will be reunited with his beloved dad.  And while the parting was certainly heartbreaking, for now he’s in good hands who will help him continue to grow and thrive.

[firesign23]

Miss Fisher and the Crypt of Tears Theory

First of all, guys, your support on my whinging post was immensely appreciated. 💕 Secondly...

@bethanyactually said: I feel your distress. <3 Also, have you written a post about your CoT theory? *bats eyelashes*

I have not! I have a feeling I’ll end up ficcing it, but I need to watch it at least a second time beforehand. But I spent the mental escape moments of my day thinking of evidence to support it though, and I may as well share because god knows when I’ll have time to write it. So… *cracks knuckles* Crypt of Tears spoilers, mostly about the Phrack arc, below the jump:

First off, I’ll say (and haha, this is an element of GoT s8 as well so at least I’m consistent) that I don’t particularly care what the absolute intentions of the script as written were--I look at the final piece of media and evaluate it as a whole (script, acting, editing, etc) and look for internal consistency, and the veneration of Script Intentions Above All, as if scripts aren’t constantly shifting even as filming occurs, is one of those things that confound me. So Deb Cox could grace us with a video tomorrow saying the theory is wrong and I’d still believe it.

The theory itself is very simple: Crypt of Tears is not Phryne and Jack’s reunion following the events of Death Do Us Part (the season 3 finale), but a reconciliation arc after a previous attempt went awry.

Like, first of all, there’s nothing I saw in the film that suggests it is a post 3x08 reunion beyond fan expectations it would be, and plenty of evidence that it it’s not. And I know I’m going to forget some of my arguments to support this theory, but an incomplete list is better than none. (And some of these are not persuasive in themselves, but given the weight of evidence are worth including)

Dot’s line about Phryne breaking the inspector’s heart when she left actively contradicts 3x08. It doesn’t just take an interesting interpretation, it takes hope and relief and turns it into explicit heartbreak

Despite their estrangement, he calls her Phryne. He does, in fact, call her Phryne until the very end of the film when they are together. Why the fuck would he call her Phryne if they haven’t seen each other in 7+ months and he was mostly calling her Miss Fisher until that point?

Nobody is surprised that Jack is attending a memorial service in England--not Aunt P, not these perfect strangers. The depths of their connection are clearly somewhat public knowledge

In fact, the only person surprised he’s there is Phryne, which… if this is post 3x08 then she’d asked him to, why WOULDN’T he come to her memorial service??? (It’s more of a subjective thing, but this also explains the lawn scene a little better, emotionally, if they were together and the whole “I’m done with you” thing. Otherwise he’s done after a shitty aborted flirtation and not much else? Whatever, I’m not even trying to unpack that scene)

“You’re afraid I’ll turn you into a policeman’s wife”??? Nothing in canon supports this particular fear. General concerns about commitment, etc, sure, but that’s very specific and indicates a previous conversation/presumption. And connected to that…

“You said you weren’t the marrying kind and I respected that.” He knows she’s not, they have a conversation in Blood and Money about how it would take a brave/foolish man to propose to her. But respect? When would he be in a position to RESPECT that if they were literally never in a romantic relationship?

“I gave it to you a long time ago” I don’t think she’s talking about being in a relationship here, but it’s also odd phrasing--if you think she gives her heart sometime early season 2, she’s in love with him for six months or so before she flies to England, and then they haven’t seen each other longer than that (given the stage of Dot’s pregnancy). It’s fucking weird

That is not a first shag snog. It’s way, way too familiar given where we last saw them kissing-wise; it’s comfortable and playful and home. (BTW, guys, congrats on your fucking faces during that scene. That alone was worth the cost of the movie)

And finally, this is going into word of god/meta, but there were multiple interviews as the movie was being made/promoted that included things like “We find out what happened between Phryne and Jack” that certainly implied that we were getting a timejump and an incomplete picture. It’s the reason I went in expecting the film to be a classic reconciliation arc, because that’s an easy setup for new viewers. Nothing I saw in the film has persuaded me I was wrong. It’s possible everything went down via letter/telegram, but given their general disinclination to bluntly talk about their emotions I’m going with unlikely

While there are variables, the gist of what I think happened is this:

Phryne dropped her father off, either in London or (my personal favourite from the logistical/timeline POV) caught up with his ship/experienced mechanical problems/whatever that had her turning around home part of the way through her flight to England.

They were together, everything is new and giddy, they had discussions but didn't 100% commit to anything BECAUSE it was still new and wanting a relationship to work isn’t enough by itself. They are finding their footing

Some combination of (a) Phryne getting cold feet about a possible relationship (maybe Jack's reputation came up in the Sanderson-Fletcher case and made her think of a policeman's wife, maybe the intensity of wanting to come home hit her when she got there), (b) wanderlust, and (c) someone potentially requesting her help (possibly after the stock market crash, so not long after she got home) results in her leaving.

And, you know, this is new and even if they care a lot they aren’t going to necessarily leap to hashing out every single detail of their relationship--there are no concrete statements but they don’t BREAK UP either. They’ll just… pick up where they left off when she gets home

And then she’s gone longer and longer, because there’s always someone in the world needing to be saved (oh look, that makes sense of another line), and sure she’s communicating less and less, but Jack should have blind faith in her because even if she’s running scared she’s certain in them, what they do best.

Then WHAM BAM THANK YOU MA'AM she's married and then dead in short order and she didn't even bother to tell Jack (though she did tell Lady Lofthouse), and Jack’s frustrations about her marriage come from the fact that she did not tell him herself.

So, yeah, that’s my theory. If anybody subjected to my rants on this subject over the last few days remembers more of my arguments in favour, feel free to add them on. 😂

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #315

“can’t breathe to scream  /  suffocating in this dream  /  long way down”

Who was your first big crush? I would probably say this guy in high school named Sebastian. We sat beside each other in Art, and I definitely liked him a lot. Man, my freshman-sophomore years honestly involved a handful of crushes before Jason popped into the picture and I lost all romantic interest in everyone else. Where was the first place you drove after you got your license? N/A Is it a blue sky outside right now? No. All North Carolina has known for weeks on end now is rain. We've had very rare sunny days, but for the most part, it's just gray and gross. Was your last breakup a bad one? Nah, I'd say it ended maturely and with a mutual understanding of "why." When was the last time you were surprised, in a pleasant way? Hell if I know. Is there an ice-cream flavor that you strongly dislike? Which one? Yeah, like strawberry. What was the last sitcom you watched? No clue. ^ Do you have a favorite character in that sitcom? Why is that character your favorite? N/A What does the last group you joined on Facebook concern? I am 90% sure it was this group I joined that is literally just about cute yet dangerous animals lmao, mostly reptiles and invertebrates. "Misunderstood biteybois and where to befriemd them" or some stupid shit like that. Has there been a spider in your house at any time recently? Not that I've seen, no. Do you like wearing make-up? Not at all. I only like wearing it for pictures and then taking that shit off. ^ If so, how old were you when you first started to wear it? I started consistently wearing it my freshman year of high school. Then some time later I just showed up one day without any, shocked all my friends, and then only wore it when I felt like it. What foods are you craving lately, if any? Nothing, really. What were some of your favorite foods as a child? Chicken nuggets of course, as well as spaghetti, peanut butter sandwiches, just the typical stuff that kids tend to enjoy. When you were younger, did you ever have a friend that your parents hated? No. Have you ever talked in your sleep before? That's very normal for me, especially now that I have nightmares like every goddamn night. What was the last song you heard, that reminded you of someone? Well, not a real someone, but "The Ordinary World" by the Hit House is 110% one of Fetch's soon-to-be themes. What has brought you joy today? Nothing brought me "joy," really. When was the last time you won a prize in a raffle? What was it? I actually recently won an art rafle on deviantART hosted by a truly amazing artist, like I thought I had no chance, and she's going to be drawing Moondust!!!! :'''') What is the next non-essential item that you intend to buy for yourself? I'm still paying the bulk of my tattoo in May. Is there anywhere in your town/city that's rumored to be haunted? Oh, I'm sure. When you were younger, did you ever think that a certain place was haunted? Bitch I still do lmao. What were your school meals like? Did you enjoy them? This really depended on the menu for the day. My school lunches were nowhere near as bad as some people make theirs sound, but most things still weren't great. I think school pizzas are the most notoriously bad. What kind of granola bar did you eat most recently? I had a cashew bar earlier today. Do you have any books on your shelf that you've read multiple times? I never reread books. What did your last post on social media concern? That I personally wrote, something regarding subtle racism still being racism, pretty much. How do you feel about people using graphic images as a scare tactic to promote their beliefs? (i.e.: PETA, abortion…) I have mixed feelings on this. Like sometimes seeing the brutal side of certain things is definitely useful in opening someone's mind to things they don't want to see/think about, but then there's that, too: it can just be so invasive and unexpected, and thus very upsetting and even scarring. I'd say I'm most for the "appropriate" social media route: using censorship that the viewer can decide whether or not to remove. But you obviously can't do that in like, a public protest with a sign, so idk. Which is harder for you: writing creatively or academically? Honestly, both are pretty easy for me. I enjoy writing creatively far more, though. Do you think gender neutral bathrooms are a good idea? I think it's fine to have them as an option. When was the last time you voluntarily went outside of your comfort zone? Just talking about stuff in group therapy recently. Would you ever use a dating site that costs money, like Match.com or eHarmony? Have you known anyone who had good experience with such sites? No, and yes. Do you think it’s fair that people are able to make a reasonable salary and live comfortable lives just by making YouTube videos? Yes? It takes charisma and talent in some area (humor, education, etc.) as well as consistency for it to be a reliable career, and just consider how often you hear about creators burning out. That happens for a reason. Entertainment is a valid job category and should not be seen as an unfair joke. Whether you’re in college or not, do you become fearful about whether or not you’ll find a good job? Story of my life. What is something you can only understand if you've experienced it first hand? Deep heartbreak. Do you think it's a double standard that a woman can hit a man and expect to get away with it, but if a man hits a woman it's assault? Obviously. Abuse knows no gender, and hitting another person is just that. I do, however, believe in self-defense, also regardless of gender. In terms of a wedding, put these things in order from what would be MOST important to be perfect, to LEAST important... Engagement ring, dress, hair, venue, ceremony, food, pictures, decorations, honeymoon. This requires too much thinking, haha... but I do know the quality of my honeymoon would be most important to me, given that that's personal time with my new spouse and not a public celebration. I feel like what goes on behind closed doors is more important and heartfelt than how you act publicly. Do you have a go-to small talk conversation topic? Probably video games or music, idk. Define "small talk." Does anyone owe you money? Do you owe anyone money? (Besides credit cards) Mom does. She just a few days ago had to borrow $100 for rent. If someone was going to buy you any practical gift (anything except a house or car), what would you choose? It'd be dope as fuck if someone could pay for Venus' next terrarium, but that's a big purchase that I'd have a hard time accepting. How many people do you know with the same first name as you? At least one, but her name is spelled differently. What in your opinion is the best love song ever written? I'm not sure, but I can tell you that "When It's Love" by Van Halen has always been high on the list for me. Was your mother married when she had you? No, actually. I thought she was until my most recent bday, I think. It was just part of a conversation. How old was the first person you kissed? He was a few months into 18. The first person you were in a relationship with, do you still care about them? Of course, he's a sweet guy. We don't talk or anything, but that doesn't mean I don't care about him. Has anyone ever sang to you? Yes. So, what if you married the last person you kissed? That'd be pretty rad. What are you listening to at the moment? "Long Way Down" from the The Evil Within soundtrack. It's funny, like I've loved the game for many years, but I'm now in a serious semi-obsession phase after watching another let's play of it. Have you read the The Hunger Games trilogy? I only read the first book. I loved it, but just never continued. What is your boss’ (or school prinicpal’s) name? N/A Who is the person you dislike the most? That I personally know, probably a former best friend, oddly enough. Do you text your parents often? If Mom's not home, it's not unusual for us to text. I don't text my dad much because he's not a fan of texting. Do you watch YouTube videos often? Pretty much always. Do you know anyone with celiac disease? Sara, my aunt, and my cousin. Those are the ones I know of, anyway. Do you currently have any alarms set? No. How many cars can fit in your driveway? Barely even two. If someone else is here, they usually just park where the road meets the sidewalk of the cul-de-sac. Do you have the ashes of a family member or a pet? Of my dog Teddy, yes. Have you ever been involved in a car crash? Yes, as a kid. Do you prefer flash or no flash on a camera? Definitely no flash. It's more natural, and especially with people, it obviously prevents red eye. How often do you use hashtags? Just about never. Have you ever had whiplash before? No. Have you ever given another person or an animal a bath before? Pets, yes. I could never bathe another human. Is there a birdbath in your yard? No. Weirdest place you’ve ever had a cramp? Nowhere weird, I think... How many lamps are in the room you’re in? How many are actually turned on? Technically three, if you count my snake's heat lamp. Right now that's the only light that's on. Are there any activities you enjoy doing, but can only do for a short amount of time before you get bored or tired of them? Yeah, reading comes to mind first. Is there anything coming out soon (books, albums, movies, video games) that you're looking forward to? I'm not up-to-date on this stuff at all, not even video games. What is something someone recommended to you that you disliked/hated? I know Girt's recommended me music I haven't been a fan of. We like the same general stuff, but there are specific sub-genres we differ in opinion about. Can you unwrap a Starburst in your mouth? ... There are people who do this to even know in the first place??? What is the last thing you ate? Popcorn. Who is your favorite person to spend time with? Sara. Do you know how to grill a steak? I don't know how to cook, period. Do you have a large dog? We don't have a dog currently, but Mom is looking for one pretty intently. We don't know the size it'll end up being. Do you like walking places? Absolutely not. I can't walk far at all without my legs starting to scream at me because leading such a sedentary lifestyle led to muscle atrophy in my legs. It's incredibly embarrassing. Are you a fan of bands most people don’t know of? That's not uncommon for me. Have you ever sent an X-Rated picture to someone? No. Do you think your voice is higher or lower than average? It's deeper than the average woman's. Do you have a pool? No, but I really, really want one... Given how easily I sweat, I would love to use swimming to strengthen my legs. I could also stop the very moment I feel I need to; it in general sounds like something I could quite easily do. How many times have you been on a plane? Ummm including the trips going back, at least six times. Favorite ice cream flavor? Oh my gooooood, if you haven't tried Ben & Jerry's "phish food"... fucking try that shit. It is innnnnncredible. Do you have a TikTok? Nope. Do you enjoy driving? Fuck no I don't. Your favorite store as a teen? Hot Topic was and still is my fave, ha. Favorite YouTuber? There's this one called Markiplier that I think's pretty cool. How many online accounts do you have? A LOT. My whole life is essentially on the computer, so... .-. Do you tend to always be in some sort of drama? Quite the opposite. Do you collect quarters from every state? No. When was the last time your living room furniture was rearranged? Not since we moved into this place. When you were little did you like watching Cartoon Network, Disney or Nickelodeon more? Disney probably topped Nickelodeon. I didn't watch much CN. Who was the last person to kiss you on the cheek? Either my niece or nephew when saying bye. Have you ever seen a magic show? Yes, as a kid. I even had a magician for my bday once. When was the last time you vomited and why? It's been a year or so. It would've been a side effect of starting a certain med that I didn't stay on because it so consistently made me sick. Where do you usually sit when you eat dinner? Either in my bed (I know) or at the dinner table if Nicole is here to eat with us. What time do you usually go to sleep at night? It's typically around 7:30-8:30, occasionally a bit later. I can't believe as a teen, it was my "rule" that I couldn't go to sleep before 10:30 because it was "too early." Nowadays, I can barely imagine regularly staying up that late. Do you avoid using public restrooms? As best as I can. I've seen some nasty shit. What’s your favorite type of cookie? Chocolate chip. How basic.

[ladylofspades]

TMNT: How Turtles Saved Me in Real Life

Before going further, I would like to advise that this is going to be one lengthy (safe-for-work) written piece. What I can assure that this is nothing angsty about it. Rather, it is of thanking both the series for helping me getting through the pain I had through the years. To those who read this, thanks so much for being very understanding. 

I had been in the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles franchise long enough to appreciate my favorite banded turtle brothers in their respective incarnations.

I grew up with its 2012 incarnation with a fair share of episodes of 2003, became -- and still -- a HUGE fan of Rise, and am now appreciating their Bayverse incarnations. Since this post is dedicated to the 2012 and 2018 incarnations, the focus will be on them. 

Let us begin with the 2012 series.

TMNT 2012 

As mentioned above, I grew up with the franchise’s 2012 incarnation. And I can clearly remember that right off the bat, brave leader Leonardo became my favorite turtle, with sweet Donatello falling in close second. Regardless on who I liked better though, both turtles were my favorites and both helped me overcome 2012.  

How the 2012 series helped me was something close to heart. The year of 2012 was when my grandfather passed away; his death took a great toll on everyone in the family -- including me. He was my second father and best friend. Losing someone as dearest as him hit me right in the gut. That time, I was never into the Turtles franchise -- even more so with other fandoms that time due to the loss -- until the franchise’s 2012 successors aired in Nickelodeon. Upon seeing the series, not only was it a road to eventual recovery but also the beginning of my Turtles journey. The characters were lovable, beyond relatable (for the kids that time) and truly unforgettable.   

To me, TMNT 2012 helped me cope with the loss by its share of funny moments as well as its gritty ones. All the turtles -- through their charms and flaws -- helped me come out of my shell little by little. In more ways than one, my gratitude I have for the show goes beyond words. Special mention to my favorite voice actors -- Rob Paulsen, Seth Green, Sean Austin and Greg Cipes -- who brought these wonderful turtles to life, and are my inspiration to keep looking at the bright side.

TMNT 2018 (Rise)

My first encounter with Rise was admittedly unexpected. That said unexpected encounter was an edited clip of them wearing different outfits on YouTube, with Lady Gaga’s song Fashion. And I knew then and there: I was hooked.

I was hesitant at first because -- like most fans -- I was scared that they may ruin the turtles for me. I cringed at the first episodes; but as the episodes progressed, the series stole my heart BIG TIME. Unlike their 2012 predecessor, Rise had me fall in love with their Donatello, followed by Leonardo. In the end, it was Leo who took a slightly higher pedestal. As to why and how Leo stole my heart can be seen here in my post entitled Loving Blue. From time to time, I admittedly miss the 2012 series; but what had me stuck with Rise was how it pays homage to its predecessors, with one of my favorite instances being the episode where it featured the Mud Dogz -- the members voiced by Seth Green, Rob Paulsen and Greg Cipes! But what took the cake with Rise overall was, I believe, its core message: anata wa hitori ja nai --  “You are not alone”. That message -- much more than words can say -- had me in tears. And I may be overthinking it, but it also felt like even the 2012 cast helped me in the transition to Rise as well --  like both series assured me that just because I loved something new doesn’t mean I love the other one less.

To me, Rise helped me get through the pandemic. The series helped me so much in the pain and stress I experienced in real life through their incredibly strong chemistry with one another (something that made it stand out among the reincarnations of the franchise), and the wholesome lightheartedness in every episode it brings. Most importantly, Rise helped me not only appreciate the time I have with my family, but also helped me realize that I will never be alone. Special mention to Ben Schwartz (Leo), Josh Brener (Donnie), Kat Graham (April), Brandon Mychal Smith (Mikey), Omar Benson Miller (Raph), Eric Bauza (Splinter), Zelda Williams (Casey Jones) and Gwendoline Yeo (Karai) for the laughter and hope that helped me get through these trying times. And second special mention to Rob Paulsen, Seth Green and Greg Cipes, whose appearances were through the Mud Dogz (and Rob as the Foot Lieutenant AND Rise’s Voice Director), assured me a smooth transition to the series.

Conclusion

2012 was, by far, one of the most challenging years of my life. Even more so recently (as with everyone globally) due to the pandemic. And the last thing I would want to see is another one of the daily attacks on one of my favorite franchises caused by its fandom. (if not daily, then frequent)

As a currently huge fan of Rise -- and a loyal fan of their 2012 predecessors -- it is truly heartbreaking to see fans bashing the former to the point of comparing it to the Teen Titans Go! series. Sadly that is -- and at the very least -- the fandom from another social media platform that I steered clear away from. I encountered healthy fans who eventually became my friends, as well as toxic ones who do nothing but compare and shout that one series is “better” than the other. 

Even amidst the ongoing fights over in the other social media platform, I am forever grateful to have transferred to Tumblr NOT to spread more hatred and disparity that the franchise had so much undeservingly suffered from, but to spread more love and respect that the franchise so longingly needs. 

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, no matter the incarnation, did so much before (and after) my turning twenty, and they hold a very special place in my heart.

P.S. Sadly this is the only GIF with all the TMNT 2012 brothers together. :( and who knew that Mikey shrinks back to his shell back then too, like his counterpart in Rise!

[cxhnow]

Chloe x Halle Talk Police Brutality and Postponing Their Album

“The way our music has evolved is exactly how we're evolving as young women.”

Four days before the release of their sophomore album, Ungodly Hour, Chloe x Halle addressed their fans to let them know they’re postponing it. In a video posted across their social channels, sisters Chloe, 21, and Halle Bailey, 20, sat shoulder to shoulder at their home in Los Angeles, surrounded by hovering green trees, and tried to sum up their range of emotions after witnessing a global uprising against police brutality.“In honor of all of the lives lost in police brutality, we felt like it was right to postpone, and fully shine our attention and our work on them,” Chloe said, with both a shake and clarity in her voice, in the video to the duo's 2.7 million followers. Halle added, “Music has been used for a long time to bring us joy and healing in difficult times like this.” Just weeks before, George Perry Floyd, a Black man living in Minneapolis, died in police custody while a white officer’s knee was pressed on his neck. As video of his killing spread, and after the deaths of Ahmaud Arbery and Breonna Taylor, protests sparked around the world demanding accountability and allyship with the Black Lives Matter movement. On the day Chloe, Halle, and I spoke by phone, Tony McDade, a Black trans man in Tallahassee, Florida, was fatally shot by an officer. In Los Angeles, where the sisters live, protesters strung their bodies together to temporarily shut down the 101 freeway. In Atlanta, where they were born, six police officers were charged after being accused of using excessive force on two Black college students who were tased and pulled out of their cars days earlier.During a time when fans are more critical of how celebrities engage in civil rights activism, Grammy-nominated musicians and actors Chloe and Halle Bailey don’t tiptoe. They urge fans to sign petitions, donate, vote, and recognize Black life, early and often. They celebrate Black joy year-round. This is what their followers have grown to expect from them. Chloe and Halle have always had something to say, and it just so happens to be an important time to speak up.

It’s hard to wrap your head around the unbreakable confidence it takes to be a female pop artist if you aren’t one. Thankfully, Chloe and Halle have each other. For decades, the bond among members of Black singing girl groups has given audiences soulful and fun music. In the '90s, groups like SWV, En Vogue, and Zhané made upbeat R&B music that made you want to dance with your homegirls. Now, contemporary duos like KING, Van Jess, and Ibeyi stand out for their rapturous vocals enveloped in dramatic production. Chloe x Halle add to this legacy by singing, writing, and producing ethereal music that resonates with the girl next door.Yet there are distinct differences in the duo’s vocal style; they don’t try to match each other’s voices to create some sort of uniformity. Rather, they play off of rhythm and song pacing to meld their voices. When they do sing choruses and bridges together, their voices, albeit distinct, create layered, otherworldly melodies.The duo’s sound is often described as angelic, giving leeway for some to describe them as two women without sin. Chloe and Halle want to shatter this idea because it’s not realistic. “For Ungodly Hour we were so excited to just flip the narrative of being the perfect angel and show the other side[s] of us.…," says Halle. "The dark side, the naughty side, the things that happen that you don't see behind the scenes.” 

The majority of the 13 songs on the album are about navigating messy situations — sometimes ones that you have caused. In the midst of trying to be a better friend or romantic partner, you know that you’ll always be imperfect, and decide to love yourself anyway.“I've always been a jazz head," Halle says. “I don't know why, but there's something about the pain and the love and the heartbreak that you can truly feel through the essence of those songs that are sung by Billie Holiday, Nina Simone, Ella Fitzgerald.” As of late, Chloe’s “really, really been inspired by '90s music and early 2000s production,” a vibe you can hear and see in “Do It,” the second single off of Ungodly Hour.“We wanted to show our sensual side because we are growing as young women, but we still kept it classy and cute,” Chloe says. “It was just really fun for us to do that. We also wanted to start dancing this era, and just something really simple. And it makes us so happy to see everyone doing that dance on TikTok.”Chloe expands on how the name of the album and title track came about after working with the U.K. duo Disclosure: “We wrote this song [the title track “Ungodly Hour”] with Disclosure, and we had the best time,” she recalls. “I forgot what I was watching, but I heard the phrase ‘ungodly hour’ and wrote it in my notes. [It] kind of stuck out to all of us, and we were like, ‘What can you say with this?’ We all came up with this sentence: ‘Love me at the ungodly hour,’ which means love me when I'm at my worst; love me when I'm not all dolled up and made up. Love me when all my insecurities are out on the table.”’

“We started writing about when you're in a situationship with a guy and the chemistry is there, and you know the love is there and your connection is so deep, but he's not going all in," she continues. "For some reason he doesn't want to commit. He's entertaining other options, and it's just saying, ‘You know what? I love myself enough to walk away and put the brakes on this and to pause this. So when you decide you like yourself, when you decide you need someone, when you don't have to think about it — love me at the ungodly hour.’”Other emotionally complex tracks on the album include “Forgive Me,” a haunting song inspired by Chloe’s own life, after she discovered a guy she was involved with was going back and forth between her and another young woman. “I Wonder What She Thinks of Me” is a song that tells the story of the new love, the one a man gets with after he’s broken up with his ex.The vocalists are eager to make music that grows with them and becomes more layered as they do. “The way our music has evolved is exactly how we're evolving as young women,” Chloe says. The chromelike wings they turn around and show on their album cover, worn with black, latex dresses, are symbolic of their strength and power.When I ask what they hope for in the future, the Bailey sisters seem at ease. Chloe would love to work with BTS: “They're performing — it's top-notch. I'll sit at my computer and watch all of their music videos and all of their performances.”“Awards would be nice," she adds. "Being at the top of these Hot 100 lists would be beautiful and amazing, but as long as I'm growing and I'm a better version of myself tomorrow than I was today, I am content.”

The duo is used to releasing music during times of political duress. Two years ago, when Chloe x Halle were part of our music issue for the release of their debut album The Kids Are Alright, the world was grappling with an immigration travel ban enacted by President Donald Trump, the #MeToo movement, and pressing climate change legislation. That album was an intonation from the sisters to young activists approaching human rights issues head-on: “Do it while you young. Don't let them turn you numb. Don't let them get you strung. Ooh, let me put you on,” they sing on their first album's title song.“I was 15 through 17, and Chloe was 17 through 19 during the making of the album,” Halle says of their debut project. “We were still very young. We were still trying to figure out what we wanted, and I think that showed in the music.”As artists, the singers say their first album was about proving they could play an active, hands-on role in the production of their own music in an industry dominated by men. As two teenage women, it was about showing the world that, although they didn't have all the answers and weren’t sure what was lurking around every corner, they had the guts to find out. At that point in their careers they had been signed to Beyoncé’s Parkwood for five years and had released one other project, the Sugar Symphony EP, in 2016. But aside from opening tour performances and high-profile appearances, they hadn't become household names.

Now, amid a health pandemic and a country in unrest because of its history of white supremacy, Chloe and Halle are navigating being famous and also having a distinct voice. While finding ways to take care of themselves, the sisters are also promoting an album from their home, in the rooms where they first honed their craft as writers, instrumentalists, and producers. “We've kind of gotten back to our roots and started doing what originally got us started," Halle says, "which is doing YouTube covers, interacting on social media, and connecting with our beautiful fans through there.” A lot has changed in their personal lives as well. They're private about the details, but say they’re learning more about guys and finding themselves in relationships and situationships. They’re experiencing more love, heartbreak, and the misguided antics of boys. "We have to take our power back as women and not allow ourselves to be played,” Chloe riffs.In January, the third season of their Freeform show, grown-ish, dropped. In the college-centered comedy, led by Yara Shahidi, Chloe plays Jazz and Halle plays Sky, ambitious twin sisters who attend the fictional state school Cal U. Jazz is balancing being in love with her boyfriend Doug (played by Diggy Simmons) and schoolwork; Sky is focused on being a track star while navigating her interracial relationship. Like the sisters in real life, their characters are witty, impeccably stylish, and proud of their Blackness. But unlike Chloe and Halle, they’re far more overt about their love lives — often kissing in hallways and openly discussing their sex lives — and unfiltered opinions.Before stay-at-home orders went into place, Chloe and Halle had been expanding farther into Hollywood, and pursuing separate film projects.In July 2019, it was announced that Halle is set to play Ariel in the live-action The Little Mermaid. Many saw Halle’s breakout feature-film role as a huge win for inclusion, but, like clockwork, people on social media found an issue with the revamped iteration of Ariel being played by a Black woman. Halle spoke out on the discourse, telling Variety at the time, “I feel like I’m dreaming, and I’m just grateful. I don’t pay attention to the negativity. I just feel like this role is something bigger than me. It’s going to be beautiful.”

Halle remains grateful, but says of the negative criticism, “We've always learned to just keep our heads up no matter the situation. No matter what anybody has to say about you...just keep pushing.”

Like Halle, Chloe is also expanding her acting chops in feature projects. In December, Chloe wrapped filming for her role in the horror film The Georgetown Project, starring Russell Crowe and Ryan Simpkins. “I'm really protective of my energy, I'm very spiritual, and I love God,” she says about the thriller. “So I was constantly praying when I was on set. But surprisingly, the energy on set was so positive. And I learned so much by being around all of these Oscar-winning actors.”

Humility is a running trait between the sisters. They don’t hide their confidence, but are also God-fearing and incredibly gracious. They’re media-trained and polite, but also find a way to be frank. They say this album is a “whole different world” for them as they reveal more of their personalities, while exploring what it means to be grown women.

“We are learning to embrace who we truly are,” Chloe says about their music evolution. “Our insecurities, our sexuality, owning our power. I'm grateful that we are given a space where we can do that comfortably. And I'm grateful for our parents, because they instilled in us that we need to be strong and independent young women.”

[viribusisms]

when : friday, 2:33 pm where : dell rapids who : @divinefelt​

In the beginning, there was nothing but darkness. Alanza was cradled by the gods, their hatred whispered into her unknowing ears. In the beginning, she enjoyed it. Gods, they called themselves, but the creatures they made were anything but heavenly or good. She wasn't there to see the beginning, but in hers, she could remember the Dragyn she was made from, Leviathan. The very first of their kind, all of her brethren had been descendants from them, and it was evident in the way they ached for chaos. Alanza felt especially connected to the beast, and when they spoke to her and the others when the war beast themselves told them to run, she obeyed. What else was she to do? There was no disobeying - they were beasts made and designed perfectly to win wars, and here was their ancestor, the monarch, telling them this was a battle they could not win. It was a terrifying thought for them, or so she liked to believe. Their whole existence had been carved around fighting, protecting Leviathan was something they should have been able to do. To know that the great beast themselves did not believe them capable of withstanding such a battle shook the core of Alanza's beliefs. Unstoppable, that was what she was in the beginning. The diety that took her for protection, the one that created her from Leviathan, told her so frequently. She was a beast amongst beast, they told her. She was coerced into believing she was undefeatable. For a time, that mindset had gotten her through thousands of fights. She delighted in the feeling of blood coating her scales, enjoyed it even. And perhaps, for a time, she relished in pleasing her diety. That all changed when Leviathan told them to flee.

At first, during the flight to earth, Alanza's body became heavy with grief and regret. She had Leviathan's blood running through her veins, she was a prized war beast, and she was running. Leviathan left by themselves to fight off the gods, and she had seen so many of her brethren falling from grace, being plucked out of the abyss and slaughtered as if they meant nothing. How her heart ached to save them, how she beat herself up for not turning around and spewing her fire until every last creature in existence knew not to dare lay a finger on her and her kind. But there were so many of them, so many dead, and Leviathan themselves was likely gone too; by the time she got back to them, it would be too late, and then their sacrifice would be for nothing. Oh, but the betrayal hurt also. Having her diety, who pampered her with praise daily, turn their back, and hiss violent threats made her feel as if she was a failure. Her whole life was to please and protect the realm, her diety. And yet they were throwing her to the curb - and for what reason? She had never bit the hand that fed her, never hissed and snapped at those in the realm who got too close. She was loyal, fiercely so. Maybe a part of her loved her diety, perhaps a part of her experienced heartbreak, but she would admit to none of it.

Her plan developed quickly. She would go to earth, as Leviathan demanded, and there she would be safe. She could conquer the land, she knew she was capable of it, but the attention would be too thick. She needed to lay low. The plan only began crumbling when she landed on the rock and began watching her brethren once more being plucked out of the skies. Their cries sent pain jolting through the hardened skin that had built over her heart, made her howl in sympathetic pain. Every one of their losses made her feel more and more enraged. She remembered having one thought when she learned to shed her scales for soft skin: one day, I'll destroy them all. And so she stayed in that form, kept her scales for when no one could see, and slowly climbed the ladder of social standing. Being around for decades meant that every time she supposedly 'started over' as a new person in a new part of the world, she started off with money and knowledge.

It was how she got her standing as a model. In the modern-day, it definitely did not take much; she'd always preferred being more beautiful upon first glance, and so her human form was the picture of what she thought was perfection, and she enjoyed showing it off. She could never let anyone get too close though, deep-rooted issues with abandonment and betrayal still sat within her. She never wanted to suffer the loss the way she did when Leviathan fell, and never did she want to experience the pain of betrayal the way she did when her diety turned on her. That ache was one she felt to the present day, swirling around her empty heart which she had tried to fill with pretty things, old things, but she could never dull the pain for long. It bounced around, echoed off the walls of her mind with every inhale, crippled her emotions with every exhale. Until the day she would come to her no doubt unruly end would this feeling haunt her bones.

Over the decades of being on earth, she'd seen thousands of other species she didn't know existed, creatures that bared similarity to her kind, ones that did not. She was especially fond of wytches and weyrcreatures, sought them out eagerly over the years in every spot she went to. It was other dragyns that she could never find, though her heart ached to find them. She had crossed paths with few brazen borns, and even fewer divinity born, seemed her brethren were good at hiding, the few left alive scattered across the globe. She wondered how many of them remained alive today, or if she was the only one left standing. She wouldn't be entirely shocked, many of those she descended with didn't know how to evolve. Many of them didn't want too, too prideful to dare try to pretend to be anything but the beast they were. She hoped that they were still out there, hoped they remembered, wished they were as angry as she was.  Prayed they'd want revenge when the time came.

There was one thing she'd learned since they'd morphed into human shapes, it was that it was quite simple how to tell who was a dragyn and who wasn't. Angrier, they tended to be, more violent and most of them had an aura of being from another world, another lifetime. Many of them seemed like ancient spirits, which to dull eyes wasn't anything special or telling. But for her, it was; many of them had a fire burning in their eyes when they spoke, something the beasts couldn't hide. Something she looked for consistently.

In this new town, she'd discovered there was more supernatural than there seemed to be anywhere else. It was like this place was a beacon for those who didn't necessarily belong on earth. When she moved, she had the secret hopes of finding another Dragyn hidden amongst the people, but she wouldn't be disappointed if she didn't.

Walking the streets had become a habit. She explored freely, uncaring of the pictures snapped of her and posted online, the media outlets when crazy whenever they saw her interacting with anyone. Alanza had created a name for herself, a loner star who preferred her own company and no other. Many of her fans were eager for her to find someone to pose with; arm candy, she supposed. She had a few over her years as a star, but none of them stuck around. They'd been nothing but pretty faces she collected; true to the myth that dragyn's liked beautiful things, hoarded them. Though it was a lot harder to horde people than objects.

Her thoughts were only interrupted when she spotted a pretty woman who carried herself in a way that seemed wrong for this time. Something ancient hidden beneath the beautiful bronze skin. Heels clicking hard against the ground beneath her, Alanza quickly threw herself in the woman's direction. "Excuse me!" She called out, a wicked grin forming on her lips. Was this it? Was she about to find a long lost member of the horde? "I think we should talk."

[yellowfeather84]

Sam Heughan and Caitriona Balfe know they've got something special: From the complicated, passionate characters Jamie Fraser and Claire Randall they get to play on-screen, to the close friendship they've developed off-screen, Outlander has changed their lives. And they're not alone: Since the Starz hit premiered in 2014, fans have been rabid for all things Outlander—Heughligans debate the merits of Sam's man bun, shippers argue they're a couple in real life, and dedicated social media accounts document every last detail of Jamie and Claire's saga.

So when Sam Heughan and Caitriona Balfe decided to visit the ELLE.com offices, I knew I needed the help of someone whose fandom went beyond my own appreciation for the show to an expert-bordering-on-obsessive level—the kind of person who would know Claire should be referred to as "Claire Beauchamp Randall Fraser," not "Claire Randall," in the above paragraph, and be mad about the mistake. I needed a super fan, and lucky for me, I happen to be related to one of the biggest out there: Pat Holmes, my mother.

Here, an Outlander super fan (and her daughter) talk to the show's stars about their friendship, Jamie and Claire's evolutions, and how love can survive a 20-year separation.

Warning: This post contains mild spoilers for season three of Outlander.

I just watched the first episode of this season—it's amazing, very emotional.

Sam: It's very sad, actually.

Caitriona: It is very sad. All of the Culloden stuff is just so brilliant.

For the first time, you weren’t in the episodes together. So what it was like when you saw it, for you, Sam, to watch Caitriona—and Caitriona, to watch how Sam did?

C: It was great, because I think we both purposely didn’t read those parts of the script. It’s nice to be able to remove yourself from it, because normally you’re in it so much, and it’s hard to be objective and look at something from the perspective of a viewer. There was a lot of surprise, because I didn’t realize that they would shoot it that way—it's so much darker, and Sam's performance was so amazing. I loved it, and it was really heartbreaking. The way they edited it, going back and forth and bringing it to where Jamie doesn’t really know what’s happening, he doesn’t know whether he’s alive or dead, and interspersing that with moments that happened before and after, I thought was really beautiful.

S: I only recently saw it and it was just remarkable. I think that Caitriona and Tobias [Menzies] are amazing together, and it's just so grown up and sad. They’re doing everything for their daughter and trying to work through it, but there’s heartache there. It was a great script and Ron [D. Moore] did wonderful with the writing. It’s really the beginning—we say goodbye to Scotland and a lot of the characters there.

You’re talking about the 20 years your characters spend apart, and they change a lot. What did those 20 years do to them?

C: One of the huge things I played with Claire is that she shelved a side of herself for 20 years. The way we worked it out with the writers is that initially Claire tries to have a relationship with Frank, but after a year and a half, they make an arrangement and they live separate lives within the same house. Claire has always been a very sexual person, a very passionate person, and losing the person that means the most to you is one thing, but losing a part of her DNA or a part of who makes her who she is had a real effect on how she carries herself and interacts with people. She became focused on her career and daughter but there’s a rigidity to her, and I think she’s lost some of that freedom and joy she has when she's around Jamie.

What happens to Jamie?

S: He obviously loses the love of his life and he expects to die. And when he doesn’t, he goes through this process of all the phases of grief and mourning: Ultimately, why is he there and what does he have to live for? He regresses into a shell of who he is and it takes him a long time to rediscover himself; he doesn’t want to be Jamie Fraser anymore. He wants to hide in the shadows, not because he’s an outlaw or a prisoner, but he wants to live in the memory of her.

Time is probably the best healer and it does take a long time for him to come to terms with the fact that she's actually gone. He goes on an insane journey to see if she’s still alive or possibly has come back into his life, and when he really finds out that she hasn’t, he can move on. And he does—he creates a new life for himself.

Is he a whole person?

S: Of course he’s not. He’s always loved her and always had a space in his heart for her, but he rebuilds himself.

Is there anything left of the old Jamie?

S: He’s still there, but he has to go through a lot of growing up. Not giving away too many spoilers, but he becomes a father, he gains his liberty, and finds peace within himself with who he is without her. I think that’s important, actually. He finds himself.

And Claire does too?

C: I think what I love about her is that she is a survivor, so even though there’s a part of her that has been shelved—her heart is definitely hardened and broken—but that she does figure out a way to create a successful life. That’s important about both these characters: Even though this relationship and this love that they experienced are bigger than any of us could hope to have, I suppose, that they don’t make it their single defining characteristic. To honor that relationship and the people that they are, they make the best of the lives they have.

S: They’re at their best when they’re together. They’re a team, they’re a couple. And that’s when they have the most life-affirming moments.

Are they still in love 20 years later? How do you keep a love going for 20 years when you don't even see each other?

C: Yes, because I think when you experience something that strong, it doesn’t fade away. You can keep it in a certain place, but it doesn’t diminish.

S: That’s what they do. They eventually sort of come to terms with each other passing, but there’s always that part of them that they keep dear to them. So when they do reunite it’s like, Oh wow, you’re back, and they fall back into their own routine until they realize that they have changed and have become different people.

C: When somebody cherishes a memory like that, you put them on a pedestal and nobody else can come close. You’re looking at it through rose-tinted glasses. When they first meet, it’s that first rush of love and it’s like that old time. And then what they have to do is dismantle that pedestal and illusion they’re created and find a way of falling in love with the people they are now.

They have great sex scenes in the book, but they have fights too. Which is more fun?

C: Fights!

S: Fights. Always. It’s gotten physical at times.

C: Um, yeah!

S: But it’s great. Caitriona is wonderful to work with, so they're the scenes we do cherish and enjoy, don't we, because we get to go at it.

C: I think the thing about these two people is they love so passionately and they fight so passionately. They live on this really fierce frequency and it’s great, because we do like to go for it. We know each other so well that we know how to push each other’s buttons—it's good, it's fun.

Ever go too far with that?

C: I mean, I’ve landed across the room on my ass this season, which was rather painful. I come away with quite a few injuries.

S: They're both very stubborn, and she’s very opinionated.

...Claire or Caitriona?

S: [Laughing] Aaand moving on from that! No, I enjoy those scenes. And the sex scenes are what they are. It’s an important part of the story and definitely this season there are a lot more.

I think the fans are happy. They weren't too happy with season two, because there weren't very many.

C: We were telling a different story then. I do think that the beauty of Diana [Gabaldon]’s books is that they're about a relationship that spans decades. It’s important to show every cycle of that relationship and not to just repeat one over and over again. What we set out to do is not to just have sex for sex’s sake, but have it tell something about the couple and where they are in the relationship and the point to the story. And if you’re just having sex scenes thrown in everywhere, then they lose their impact. So last season it was about two people who weren’t in a groove with each other and were feeling off-kilter. So other things became their focus, like changing history, which is a big thing.

It doesn’t look like you aged that much in the end of season two.

C: I have some grey in my hair. It's funny, I think we all assumed that we would do a bit more. But she’s only 50. He’s only in his mid-40s.

S: Yeah, when you say it like that...

C: It's not like they’re so much older. The difference between 30, when we last saw her, and 50 is not that huge when you look around. We looked around at our makeup department and the women who were 47, 48, 49 looked great. I think the decision was to play with the hair and more about how time has changed them internally rather than externally. The '60s makeup and '60s costume definitely help give her more authority—she just feels a little bit older in that way. But it’s hard then when you go back to the no-makeup look of the 1700s to tie that in. I was just really tired and haggard myself, so they’re all just mine, those wrinkles.

I thought

in the promo

, in the shot when you were in Edinburgh, about to go into the print shop, you looked so vulnerable and so luminous, but it’s a different Claire. You’ve left the '60s and the Jackie Kennedy look. I have to say, you are both great in this, you do a lot with the emotion in your faces.

S: Well, in that moment, she's just put everything on the line, hasn't she? She doesn’t know how he’s going to react.

C: For me, one of the hardest things to wrap my head around this season was Claire leaving her daughter. And that was such a huge part. Initially when we got our scripts, it was Claire with Roger. And I remember saying to the writers: "Hold on a minute, it has to be with Brianna, because that’s the relationship, that’s the price that she’s paying." To make that sacrifice—you could poll a hundred mothers, and how many mothers would be able to do that? That’s the ultimate price that she pays.

You guys are really close friends. So what do you like about each other? And you can also tell me what you dislike...

S: [Laughing] Long list!

C: I mean, Sam’s just so kind. He’s a really good friend. He always checks in. I don’t know, he has one of the biggest hearts and smallest egos that I know.

[Sam and Caitriona high five]

S: Absolute same.

C: [Laughing] You can't just pick my answer!

S: No, she’s not only a great actress, she's a great friend and a great advice giver, too. And we have each other's backs. It’s a remarkable journey that we’ve been on, starting this together, being thrown in the deep end and being like, Okay! We're going to do this together. It’s a nice bond and I think people are fascinated by it, in a weird way—I know the fans are. We respect each other and have got each other's backs. I’m very fortunate that we have that, it’s great.

How many more will you do? Will you do them all if they want?

C: It depends. If they want, is the big...we’ve signed up for quite a few.

S: We've definitely got this year and then I guess they’ll see.

C: It depends on if they want to keep making them. It depends on if we keep the standard and quality up. I think that's important to everyone, you don’t want to just churn something out.

S: I feel this season is possibly the strongest. The first season was amazing; it was the beginning. And the second season, there were things I loved and things I didn't. But I think this season—Outlander as an adventure, as a historical romance, it keeps moving forward. Viewers are going to be like, Wooow.

C: Their heads are going to spin. They’re going to be like, Where are we now?!

It’s challenging for you to be in Africa, in Scotland, in Boston, in Jamaica, in the middle of the ocean.

S: It's like, What show is this?!

C: It is challenging, the peripheral stuff, but as long as we keep the relationship at the center, it doesn’t matter, because that’s the anchor.

[efurujr]

Tourmates Jhené Aiko & Willow Smith Discuss Mushrooms, Magic & Industry Misogyny With Billboard

On a hot late-October evening at a rustic-chic Sunset Strip restaurant, Jhené Aiko lifts and considers a truffle fry before nimbly popping it into her mouth. Next to her, Willow Smith grabs four and crams them all in at once, so engaged in a discussion with Aiko about fantastical art that she exclaims, mid-bite, “Magic is all around us!” Aiko nods: “I learned that on mushrooms.” Smith fervently nods back: “Mother Nature did it for a reason: ‘Here’s something to woke ya!’”

Starting Nov. 14, Smith will support Aiko on her North American Trip Tour, named after Aiko’s latest album (and its accompanying short film), a sprawling ­psychedelic R&B concept piece about overcoming grief that reached No. 1 on the Top R&B Albumschart. Willow’s surprise second LP, The 1st -- released on Halloween, which is also her birthday -- swirls proggy compositions with left-field folk and soul.

Together, Aiko and Smith seem to embody a new breed of modern hippie: Aiko, 29, a self-proclaimed “NPR girl” in a loose sky-blue frock, steeping her ­chamomile tea bag with guru-like calm, and Smith, 17, vibrating with energy, in bell-bottom jeans and a black tee that reads in white text, “Got consent?”

But despite their age gap -- and the fact that one woman has been a single mother for nine years and the other is, well, the teenage daughter of Will and Jada Pinkett Smith -- Aiko and Smith have much more in common than an interest in the supernatural. Both were born, raised and home-schooled in Los Angeles. Both were signed as children and marketed to the mainstream -- Aiko as an adjunct member of R&B boy band B2K, and Smith as an actress (2007’s I Am Legend), then as a kiddie-pop ­star with 2010’s “Whip My Hair,” which peaked at No. 11 on the Billboard Hot 100.

Then, with money and fame hanging in the ­balance, they each walked away. Aiko took about six years off before starting an alt-R&B solo career flexible enough to allow for esoteric side projects like Twenty88 -- her duo with boyfriend Big Sean, whose self-titled album Aiko has described as ­“combining stuff like robots and sex” -- and a forthcoming poetry book titled Trip. Willow returned in 2015 with avant-garde soul album ARDIPITHECUS, and often posts genre-flouting ­collaborations on SoundCloud and a now-defunct YouTube channel (“Frequencies by Willow”) with everyone from The Internet’s Syd to her brother Jaden.

As plates of pasta arrive, Aiko and Smith dive into a wide-ranging ­conversation, often completing each ­other’s sentences as they discuss their respective decisions to, as Smith puts it, “take control of not just my music, but my life -- if shit goes south, it’s my fault, but if it goes good, that’s mine too,” and ­affirming their vows as artists to, in Aiko’s words, “usher in new ways of thinking.”

You last toured together in 2014. Willow, you were 14. What was that like for you?

Willow Smith: Coming out of the “Whip My Hair” days, that was the first time I’d ever toured with artists I listen to [in addition to Aiko, Syd and SZA]. I’d started playing guitar, and that tour really solidified: “OK, I want to be a live musician, to have a music career, for real.” Being around people who were so confident and so set in their artistry was a huge step in the direction of understanding who I really am.

Jhené Aiko: We did that for each other. I’d never ­considered myself a ­performer, but now I’m super into how I present these songs. This time, I want to take the audience on a  journey, have them feel what I went through -- I want them to think they’re tripping balls. People like Willow and me, we’re super connected to this music and our message. We really want to change the world.

Jhené, what made her right for that tour three years ago?

Aiko: It’s crazy because just following her career and social media, I felt connected to her, especially seeing her talk about being an indigo and a star seed. I saw so much of myself in her.

Smith: Yeah. I’ve ­followed your music from the ­beginning and always loved how angelic and sultry your voice is. So when I heard that you wanted me on, I was like, “Whoaaa!”

Wait, let’s rewind a ­second. What’s this ­“indigo” thing?

Aiko: So if you look up in the night sky and see this light that’s flashing colors, that’s Sirius. It’s a star system, and it looks like there’s a party going on. What I like to believe in my dreams and imagination is, there’s some of us on Earth that come from there, indigos and star seeds, who are hyper ­sensitive to feelings and ­seasons, and in tune with each other without even trying --

Smith: Or even knowing. I’ve read and experienced that many indigos struggle with addiction and heartbreaking circumstances because this reality is not familiar to them. The density of the third dimension is so heavy on their soul, and they yearn to be light, to be in the stars. So you can --

Aiko: Free yourself from the physical and just be pure energy. I started singing when I was really young too, and touring when I was 12, so those were things I would think about and wanted to talk about, but I was home-schooled, so I didn't have many friends on the same level.

Willow, you were home-schooled too, right?

Smith: All my life, except from age 12 to 13 when a ­family friend was like, “Come to school with me. I’ll help you out.” But I live in the mountains, away from the city, far from people. It was literally me and Jaden in nature hitting cactuses with sticks, so school was really overwhelming. I was that girl: backpack half open, running through the halls, stressed. So I got to see firsthand how it shapes your psyche -- like how you’re always looking for approval. That’s the hugest thing.

Aiko: I started home school in the middle of seventh grade. I loved schoolwork, but the social part was too much for me. I’m a hermit, still. My family goes out, and I’m like, “I’ll be home staring at the wall ’cause I like it.” The past couple years ­working on Trip, I’d go on road trips or to ­festivals by myself, meet other ­wanderers. That’s why we’re doing this tour -- we’re on that wavelength.

I get the sense that there’s something deeper than a big sis, little sis thing going on here...

Aiko: Willow’s a being that has been here before, ­obviously. I don’t get age. I mean, I have a 9-year-old daughter who has this pure knowledge, and I learn so much from her. I feel like this is my 20th life because from the first moment I can remember, I’ve been over the kid things.

Smith: Yeah, I understand. I don’t know what it is. I felt that way too.

Have you given any thought to how you might spend downtime together on this tour?

Aiko: I want to make music. I’ll have a studio on my bus, and she can come through with her guitar. I’ve also been doing a group meditation the day of a show. I’m reading The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success by Deepak Chopra, and he talks about setting your intention. Mine is to calm people, but I get really nervous onstage.

Smith: What I think is really going to happen on this tour is, like, a feminine energy super bomb. This tour is going to be so potently ­feminine it’s going to warm your heart.

You’re both into poetry and philosophy. What about a book exchange?

Aiko: A book club!

Smith: I have always wanted to be in a book club. My entry would be The Red Tent by Anita Diamant. It’s about these sisters who lived a long time ago and this tradition of when the women ­menstruated, they’d all go into the red tent together. They’d have these crazy conversations and spiritual ceremonies and shamanic experiences. It’s about female camaraderie in ­terrible times.

Aiko: Mine is Peace Is Every Step by Thich Nhat Hanh. He’s a poet and monk from Vietnam. He tells ­beautiful stories to get across very simple messages. Like how people get agitated in ­traffic -- he teaches you to take each red light as a chance to breathe deeply.

I can see you two ­sharing music, too. Who’s an artist more people should know about?

Aiko: Michael Franks, a jazz artist from the ’70s. His voice is like butter, and his writing? So clever. I love jazz because of the range of emotion it can take you through in one track. I’m a fan of John Mayer for the same reason. For Trip, he came in with, like, 50 guitars, and for hours he was coming up with song ideas and melodies one after the other, nonstop.

Smith: Cameron Graves. He plays with Kamasi Washington, and his Planetary Princealbum is the epitome of each musician showing their uniqueness. Not a lot of my peers are open to music that doesn't have vocals.

Aiko: That’s my favorite. I think we should do a jazz album.

Smith: Let’s! Honestly, we can get a bunch of musicians in a room and just vibe out.

You were both signed young and could have followed very ­traditional career paths, but you took time off and came back to the business on your own terms. What was the moment you decided: “This is my own trip?”

Smith: When I said no to Annie [in 2013]. The script was written, we had paid people, the production was going to happen. A lot of people were putting pressure on me, and I was like, “I have to take the control.” That was scary, standing up to ­executives who were like, “What? We spent this amount of money. Mmm, you’re doing it.” And I was like, “No, I’m not going to. Sorry.”

Aiko: I was turning 16, and my label contract was up. Everyone assumed I was going to re-sign, but I knew that wasn't who I was going to be as an artist -- I wasn't satisfied singing songs other people wrote. Then when I was 20, I got pregnant. I became a waitress at a vegan cafe but was going through all these new things as a mom and wanted to make music about it. So I quit, and from then on, it was like, “No, this is my vision. You have absolutely nothing to do with this art.”

As young women of color in an industry that is hard on women and on ­people of color, where do you think that surge of ­confidence came from?

Smith: You have to see other black women doing them. That’s the only way. I went on tour with my mom when I was Jhené’s daughter’s age, and it was so empowering and beautiful.

Aiko: I never saw a ­distinction between a man and a woman. My ­grandparents and my mother were great examples of men and women, and they taught me ­equality. So I would fight with boys and wear my cousin’s clothes. I would do whatever I wanted, and that’s where I still stand today.

Smith: If you truly believe in equality, you know it up here. [Taps forehead.] It’s how you think. There’s a lot of women doing their thing, ­expressing themselves in ways I feel weren't possible before. At the same time, a lot of men still spit ­misogyny like it’s nothing. It’s a forever journey.

Women have been ­banding together lately to expose predators in the entertainment ­industry…

Smith: Yeah, and our president. Ahhhhhh! The creepiest dude of all!

Aiko: I’m pleased people are brave enough to come ­forward, because it ­encourages others. I’ve always been protected. My mom was my manager. Now my older sister is. Even when I’ve been in sketchy ­environments, ­someone always had my back. That’s important. In these stories these women are telling, there’s no real friends around. I have definitely experienced male ego...

Smith: And I’ve ran into situations with white men specifically who are like, “Black girls don’t usually look like you,” or, “Whoa, your hair is lying down. That’s crazy, you actually look pretty!”

What do you want the future of young women in art to look like?

Smith: I don’t want there to always be this stigma of the “female” artist. “Oh, what does it feel like to be a female doing something?” That hurts me.

Aiko: Because of that, a lot of young girls ­compare ­themselves to others. Growing up, people wanted me to do choreography. If it wasn't for a supportive mother, I would have been put in the same boot camp. You were born into your own lane -- don’t let anyone push you into theirs. I’m not going to stop evolving until I’m 80. Like, I want to go back to school for astrophysics.

Smith: The arts and the ­sciences! That’s my whole life. In the future, I think there’ll be a new kind of person who does both. Like... an imagineer!

Aiko: See? I mean, clearly, she’s in her own lane.

© Billboard

 Written By Chris Martins / Photography By Nate Hoffman

[ofasleepvisits]

I’m not where you left me at all

Sometime in late February 2020 I coughed in my boss’s boss’s office and he jokingly asked if I’d been to Italy.

March started and we were aware of growing coronavirus concerns, but we thought life would still be normal.

Everything in our lives revolved around final preparations for our once in a lifetime trip to Spain.

Saturday March 7th

It was the second to last soccer weekend of the season. Our kids would not be attending the final games on the 14th because we would be flying to London the night before. Lyla’s coach told her to have fun in Spain and thought nothing of any chances of us not going. There was talk of coronavirus among the parents, but no one was noticeably concerned. One parent said something to me about it being like the flu so obviously we should still take our trip. The media was probably blowing things out of proportion to hurt Trump. 

That evening when the trip was finally imminent, we sat down to make final arrangements. Mindy is a planner and didn’t like that we had so many details left unaccounted for. We had the big stuff done months ago...

5 plane tickets on Norwegian Air, MCO to LGW Friday night to Saturday morning, LGW to BCN Monday morning, BCN to MCO (connecting through LGW) on the following Monday

The Hilton at near LGW for the weekend, even opting for that first Friday night though we wouldn’t be there until the morning so we wouldn’t have to wait until Saturday evening to check in

The AirBnB in Eixample in Barcelona from Monday to Sunday, the hotel by the airport for Sunday night so we could go straight there after the game, already packed in ready for our flight

And of course the 5 tickets to Camp Nou to see FC Barcelona and Messi play

...but nothing else planned. So that evening, we booked a black cab in London to take us to see the sights. I think coronavirus was on our minds, so we’d stay away from crowds. That would be for Sunday the 15th. We booked all sorts of little things around Barcelona too, the zoo, some museums, some parks, and other sights for our week there.

Sunday March 8th

I checked the weather and realized I needed some warmer clothes so I went to the mall and spent about $200 at the gap on button-up shirts and sweaters. We had bought the kids new sneakers the weekend before I think. Mindy said she’d buy some clothes the next day.

Monday March 9th

I went to work like a normal day. Came home like a normal day.

After dinner you left to go clothes shopping and I read about soccer. Champions League games were scheduled the next two days. Things were getting worse in Spain in terms of the coronavirus. There was talk of playing games behind closed doors, i.e. without fans in attendance. It sounded crazy. Mindy came home around 9p with her new clothes. I told her there was a chance of us not being able to go to the Barcelona game, the whole reason for our trip. We would know more tomorrow I said.

For the first time we talked seriously about not doing our trip.

Tuesday March 10th

I checked online first thing in the morning and it was official, the next two La Liga games would be played behind closed doors. We decided not to do our trip.

Did the heartbreak change me? Maybe

I went to work and told my boss and she seemed surprised. She said she and her family was still planning on doing their NYC trip for spring break.

FC Barcelona sent a nice email about refunds for our tickets being processed within 30 days and that felt good. Norwegian Air and Airbnb weren’t budging for now.

Wednesday March 11th

A potential vendor came to our offices to pitch my boss and me on a product I now forget what it was. He was from France and I remember shaking his hand and thinking to myself, like, maybe I shouldn’t be shaking his hand.

That was my birthday and I’d recorded the Liverpool vs Athletico Madrid Champions League game from the afternoon to watch in the evening. It’d be the last major soccer game with fans in 2020. It was fun to see Liverpool lose. A week later the game would be blamed for spreading since all the Spanish people had flown to England. Months later I don’t think anyone seriously thought that made a difference.

The president spoke that night. He talked of banning travel. We watched selfishly hoping that something he would say would help us get our money back. At this point whatever was going on in the world very much felt like something that was happening to us specifically. I was regaling coworkers with stories of misfortune about a trip of a lifetime canceled.

It was either this night or the next day that I posted on Facebook about how our trip was canceled and we may not get our money back but our family was happy and healthy and that’s what was important and whatever other trite pseudo-optimism works on social media to get supportive comments from distant family and various acquaintances.

Thursday March 12th

We got called into a conference room at work around lunch time or maybe just after lunchtime, 20 or 30 of us shoved into a conference room meant for 15 people, and told that we would be working from home until the end of the month. We could start tomorrow if we wanted. Or we could come tomorrow to gather some things then start working from home on Monday. There were some questions of whether you had to. If I recall correctly, the answer was you didn’t have to work from home if you didn’t want to, you could come to the office during the second half of March. But I may be misremembering.

But that doesn’t matter because by the end of the day we learned via email the policy was tightened to, don’t even come to the office tomorrow. Work from home starts Friday March 13th. No one come to the office until April. My boss wouldn’t be doing that NYC trip.

Friday March 13th

The day was a mix between work and dealing with the Norwegian Air. They kept hanging up on us. They refused to acknowledge the pandemic and how it would be reckless for a family to travel. Our Airbnb host was saying the same thing everything is great in Barcelona, you should still come she said via email.

One final phone call with Norwegian Air around 8p, I think our flight was a few hours later, the rep was like, what’s the problem, flight to Gatwick looks to be on time. How could you in good faith send a family on that flight? Click.

Don't show up, don't come out Don't start caring about me now Walk away, you know how Don't start caring about me now

Disputed the charge with Amex. Posted to Norwegian Air’s LinkedIn. Mindy found the CEO email address and send a message. Something worked, a few days later we got our money back. A few weeks later we got our Airbnb money back. One by one, Mindy got us all our sight seeing money we spent that weekend before the trip back.

Ironically FC Barcelona was the last to refund us because the March games ended up not being played behind closed doors but rather were “postponed,” I guess under the auspice of if they played them in summer with fans we’d be expected to attend. Didn’t matter, the rescheduled games in summer were without fans and we got refunded.

The next week

We made our best of spring break. Tried to recreate our weekend in London with food: Ale House seemed to offer the best fish and chips. Restaurants were weird. Lockdown and quarantine were sort of haphazard, masks weren’t a thing yet. By the middle of the week, everything was closing. We made “paella” and had sangria to recreate Spain. We played Barcelona’s scheduled Champions League game vs. Napoli on FIFA on the Xbox. Work started getting crazy so I really couldn’t take a legitimate week off.

The rest of the year

Eventually the pandemic went on, it quickly no longer felt like something that was just happening to us. Plenty of people had their trips of a lifetime canceled. And much worse, there were job losses and school closings. So we considered ourselves the lucky ones.

Though it took some time to survive you I'm better on the other side

And we really were and are the lucky ones. There were and are millions of people all over the world stuck at home by themselves, the whole world disrupted. Beside that missed trip and the pain of virtual school and the adjustment to working from home, our life has been fine. We just haven’t experienced the pandemic as acutely as so many people.

On a random Tuesday night, the five of us sit down for dinner. Our kids make us laugh. And we realize we are spending time with the people we most want to be with in the entire world. In ten or twenty years we would pay untold sums of money to have what we have for free right now.

[krisiunicornio]

Whether you're interested in this instrument to lead kirtan or bhajan or simply want to deepen your mantra practice at home, the harmonium is actually pretty easy to learn.

I’m sitting with eight others in a semicircle on the floor, slowly unpacking my harmonium for the first time. I revel in its cuteness. It looks like a toy piano crossed with an elegant teak accordion that folds up on itself like a child’s suitcase for easy carrying. I’m at a yoga studio, where I’ve signed up for a class to learn to chant and play 10 Kundalini mantras performed by some of my favorite musicians, such as Snatam Kaur and Jai-Jagdeesh. As a singer and a newbie Kundalini Yoga teacher, the big sound and simplicity of the harmonium appealed to me. I enrolled in this six-week course with the goal of accompanying myself while leading a mantra meditation or chanting during class.

Jennifer Davis-Flynn

Our teacher, Michael Cohen, founder of the Kirtan Leader Institute, walks us through setting up and positioning our instruments. “You can play just one chord on the harmonium, and it sounds great,” he tells us. And that’s exactly how we start—by simply holding down C and F on the keyboard with one hand, pumping the bellows (the mechanism that pushes air across the reeds) with the other, and chanting “Om.” He’s right. The tone is deep and rich, and when we all play together, the sound becomes even more expansive, filling the room and vibrating deep inside my solar plexus like a soothing full-body hum.

See also You’ve Heard of Kirtan, but Have you Heard of Bhajan?

Harmonium History

Although many mistake the harmonium for a classical Indian instrument, it was actually designed in Europe in the 1800s as a more affordable alternative to the organ or harpsichord. The European version was played like a traditional organ, but when the instrument migrated to India in the late 19th and early 20th centuries—during the ascent of British colonial rule—it met an Indian fan base that adapted it to local specifications: Foot pedals were replaced with bellows and the instrument was placed on the floor so that people could play it while seated in a cross-legged position. Finally, drones—little knobs placed below the keys that play a fixed note continuously when pulled out—were added, giving the modern incarnation of the harmonium its powerful, multilayered, mystical sound.

I’ve been singing my whole life. My dad was a psychiatrist who fronted a rock band on the side, and my first performances were singing Christmas carols with him at inpatient psychiatric facilities during the holidays. As a kid, I was a total ham who sought out the microphone at every opportunity. I grew into a drama nerd in high school in the ’90s: starring in musicals and simultaneously obsessing over classic jazz and punk rock and curating a killer vinyl collection.

See also New Website Teaches Kirtan

Music became my way of coping with the world—a means of processing difficult emotions and even connecting with a collective wisdom of the past, specifically the emotional intelligence of the powerful female vocalists who helped me navigate the heartbreak of the human experience. Aretha Franklin, k.d. lang, and, above all, Billie Holiday were my gurus before I had ever heard of the term.

Jennifer Davis-Flynn

What is Naad?

The concept of Naad—the essence of all sound—is integral to Kundalini Yoga. Naad Yoga combines mantra, breath, and rhythm to create a healing response in the immune system. Because of the heavy focus on sound vibration, harmoniums, acoustic guitars, and kirtan (a type of spiritual singalong, often using call and response) are frequently found in yoga classes featuring key mantras designed to direct the mind toward positivity and receptivity.

The natural vocal expressiveness of Kundalini Yoga spoke to my childhood self. And, for me, playing harmonium while singing elevates chanting to a full-body somatic experience. Plus, it’s easy. Unlike with a guitar, you don’t need any finger strength or skill to hold down keys, and if you’re not a natural singer, it feels like a low-risk opportunity to sing in a group setting while slowly building confidence in your own voice.

See also Teaching Chants: Incorporate Kirtan Into Your Classes

The Truth about Lessons

The harmonium is surprisingly easy to learn, especially the way Cohen teaches. Even if you don’t know how to read music, Cohen’s method of teaching features chart sheets for songs that rely on music notes by their name (ABCDEFG)—not as written music on a treble or bass staff. In the first class, he handed out Post-it Notes on which we wrote down the different notes, and we placed them above the corresponding keys to help guide our fingers. By the end, everyone was singing and playing “Om Shanti,” ascending up the keys from C to G to the rhythm of an electronic tabla beat. I realized right then that the harmonium is tremendously accessible and fun.

By the second class, we took turns leading call-and-response kirtan with our group, which even for a seasoned performer like myself was nerve-racking. Each student sang a verse to a song called “Baba Hanuman” while the entire group played along. Here lies the true magic of kirtan—experiencing the uniqueness and creative expression of each individual and then joining together as one voice, an incantation of the soul uniting with universal consciousness.

Michael Cohen is now teaching Harmonium and leading Kirtan online. Click here for more info. 

My harmonium now sits next to my yoga mat in the corner of my bedroom, ready for me to play when inspiration strikes. I often tune in with it before my daily meditation practice. Some days, I play for five minutes and others for two hours, adapting the instrument to my needs for creative expression on that day. Despite its roots in spiritual music, I’ve made this instrument my own, picking out blues chords or favorite jazz standards on the keys. Just like the creative consciousness of the universe, this instrument helps to integrate all aspects of my being, not just the parts I like or the parts that look tidy and together. The other day, I taught myself “You Know I’m No Good” by Amy Winehouse. And after working through the chorus and improvising on the bridge, I felt better than I had in a long time. 

View the original article to see embedded media.

See also The Effortless, Calming Magic of Mantra and Music, According to Science

[cedarrrun]

Whether you're interested in this instrument to lead kirtan or bhajan or simply want to deepen your mantra practice at home, the harmonium is actually pretty easy to learn.

I’m sitting with eight others in a semicircle on the floor, slowly unpacking my harmonium for the first time. I revel in its cuteness. It looks like a toy piano crossed with an elegant teak accordion that folds up on itself like a child’s suitcase for easy carrying. I’m at a yoga studio, where I’ve signed up for a class to learn to chant and play 10 Kundalini mantras performed by some of my favorite musicians, such as Snatam Kaur and Jai-Jagdeesh. As a singer and a newbie Kundalini Yoga teacher, the big sound and simplicity of the harmonium appealed to me. I enrolled in this six-week course with the goal of accompanying myself while leading a mantra meditation or chanting during class.

Jennifer Davis-Flynn

Our teacher, Michael Cohen, founder of the Kirtan Leader Institute, walks us through setting up and positioning our instruments. “You can play just one chord on the harmonium, and it sounds great,” he tells us. And that’s exactly how we start—by simply holding down C and F on the keyboard with one hand, pumping the bellows (the mechanism that pushes air across the reeds) with the other, and chanting “Om.” He’s right. The tone is deep and rich, and when we all play together, the sound becomes even more expansive, filling the room and vibrating deep inside my solar plexus like a soothing full-body hum.

See also You’ve Heard of Kirtan, but Have you Heard of Bhajan?

Harmonium History

Although many mistake the harmonium for a classical Indian instrument, it was actually designed in Europe in the 1800s as a more affordable alternative to the organ or harpsichord. The European version was played like a traditional organ, but when the instrument migrated to India in the late 19th and early 20th centuries—during the ascent of British colonial rule—it met an Indian fan base that adapted it to local specifications: Foot pedals were replaced with bellows and the instrument was placed on the floor so that people could play it while seated in a cross-legged position. Finally, drones—little knobs placed below the keys that play a fixed note continuously when pulled out—were added, giving the modern incarnation of the harmonium its powerful, multilayered, mystical sound.

I’ve been singing my whole life. My dad was a psychiatrist who fronted a rock band on the side, and my first performances were singing Christmas carols with him at inpatient psychiatric facilities during the holidays. As a kid, I was a total ham who sought out the microphone at every opportunity. I grew into a drama nerd in high school in the ’90s: starring in musicals and simultaneously obsessing over classic jazz and punk rock and curating a killer vinyl collection.

See also New Website Teaches Kirtan

Music became my way of coping with the world—a means of processing difficult emotions and even connecting with a collective wisdom of the past, specifically the emotional intelligence of the powerful female vocalists who helped me navigate the heartbreak of the human experience. Aretha Franklin, k.d. lang, and, above all, Billie Holiday were my gurus before I had ever heard of the term.

Jennifer Davis-Flynn

What is Naad?

The concept of Naad—the essence of all sound—is integral to Kundalini Yoga. Naad Yoga combines mantra, breath, and rhythm to create a healing response in the immune system. Because of the heavy focus on sound vibration, harmoniums, acoustic guitars, and kirtan (a type of spiritual singalong, often using call and response) are frequently found in yoga classes featuring key mantras designed to direct the mind toward positivity and receptivity.

The natural vocal expressiveness of Kundalini Yoga spoke to my childhood self. And, for me, playing harmonium while singing elevates chanting to a full-body somatic experience. Plus, it’s easy. Unlike with a guitar, you don’t need any finger strength or skill to hold down keys, and if you’re not a natural singer, it feels like a low-risk opportunity to sing in a group setting while slowly building confidence in your own voice.

See also Teaching Chants: Incorporate Kirtan Into Your Classes

The Truth about Lessons

The harmonium is surprisingly easy to learn, especially the way Cohen teaches. Even if you don’t know how to read music, Cohen’s method of teaching features chart sheets for songs that rely on music notes by their name (ABCDEFG)—not as written music on a treble or bass staff. In the first class, he handed out Post-it Notes on which we wrote down the different notes, and we placed them above the corresponding keys to help guide our fingers. By the end, everyone was singing and playing “Om Shanti,” ascending up the keys from C to G to the rhythm of an electronic tabla beat. I realized right then that the harmonium is tremendously accessible and fun.

By the second class, we took turns leading call-and-response kirtan with our group, which even for a seasoned performer like myself was nerve-racking. Each student sang a verse to a song called “Baba Hanuman” while the entire group played along. Here lies the true magic of kirtan—experiencing the uniqueness and creative expression of each individual and then joining together as one voice, an incantation of the soul uniting with universal consciousness.

Michael Cohen is now teaching Harmonium and leading Kirtan online. Click here for more info. 

My harmonium now sits next to my yoga mat in the corner of my bedroom, ready for me to play when inspiration strikes. I often tune in with it before my daily meditation practice. Some days, I play for five minutes and others for two hours, adapting the instrument to my needs for creative expression on that day. Despite its roots in spiritual music, I’ve made this instrument my own, picking out blues chords or favorite jazz standards on the keys. Just like the creative consciousness of the universe, this instrument helps to integrate all aspects of my being, not just the parts I like or the parts that look tidy and together. The other day, I taught myself “You Know I’m No Good” by Amy Winehouse. And after working through the chorus and improvising on the bridge, I felt better than I had in a long time. 

View the original article to see embedded media.

See also The Effortless, Calming Magic of Mantra and Music, According to Science

[amyddaniels]

The Harmonium for Beginners

Whether you're interested in this instrument to lead kirtan or bhajan or simply want to deepen your mantra practice at home, the harmonium is actually pretty easy to learn.

I’m sitting with eight others in a semicircle on the floor, slowly unpacking my harmonium for the first time. I revel in its cuteness. It looks like a toy piano crossed with an elegant teak accordion that folds up on itself like a child’s suitcase for easy carrying. I’m at a yoga studio, where I’ve signed up for a class to learn to chant and play 10 Kundalini mantras performed by some of my favorite musicians, such as Snatam Kaur and Jai-Jagdeesh. As a singer and a newbie Kundalini Yoga teacher, the big sound and simplicity of the harmonium appealed to me. I enrolled in this six-week course with the goal of accompanying myself while leading a mantra meditation or chanting during class.

Jennifer Davis-Flynn

Our teacher, Michael Cohen, founder of the Kirtan Leader Institute, walks us through setting up and positioning our instruments. “You can play just one chord on the harmonium, and it sounds great,” he tells us. And that’s exactly how we start—by simply holding down C and F on the keyboard with one hand, pumping the bellows (the mechanism that pushes air across the reeds) with the other, and chanting “Om.” He’s right. The tone is deep and rich, and when we all play together, the sound becomes even more expansive, filling the room and vibrating deep inside my solar plexus like a soothing full-body hum.

See also You’ve Heard of Kirtan, but Have you Heard of Bhajan?

Harmonium History

Although many mistake the harmonium for a classical Indian instrument, it was actually designed in Europe in the 1800s as a more affordable alternative to the organ or harpsichord. The European version was played like a traditional organ, but when the instrument migrated to India in the late 19th and early 20th centuries—during the ascent of British colonial rule—it met an Indian fan base that adapted it to local specifications: Foot pedals were replaced with bellows and the instrument was placed on the floor so that people could play it while seated in a cross-legged position. Finally, drones—little knobs placed below the keys that play a fixed note continuously when pulled out—were added, giving the modern incarnation of the harmonium its powerful, multilayered, mystical sound.

I’ve been singing my whole life. My dad was a psychiatrist who fronted a rock band on the side, and my first performances were singing Christmas carols with him at inpatient psychiatric facilities during the holidays. As a kid, I was a total ham who sought out the microphone at every opportunity. I grew into a drama nerd in high school in the ’90s: starring in musicals and simultaneously obsessing over classic jazz and punk rock and curating a killer vinyl collection.

See also New Website Teaches Kirtan

Music became my way of coping with the world—a means of processing difficult emotions and even connecting with a collective wisdom of the past, specifically the emotional intelligence of the powerful female vocalists who helped me navigate the heartbreak of the human experience. Aretha Franklin, k.d. lang, and, above all, Billie Holiday were my gurus before I had ever heard of the term.

Jennifer Davis-Flynn

What is Naad?

The concept of Naad—the essence of all sound—is integral to Kundalini Yoga. Naad Yoga combines mantra, breath, and rhythm to create a healing response in the immune system. Because of the heavy focus on sound vibration, harmoniums, acoustic guitars, and kirtan (a type of spiritual singalong, often using call and response) are frequently found in yoga classes featuring key mantras designed to direct the mind toward positivity and receptivity.

The natural vocal expressiveness of Kundalini Yoga spoke to my childhood self. And, for me, playing harmonium while singing elevates chanting to a full-body somatic experience. Plus, it’s easy. Unlike with a guitar, you don’t need any finger strength or skill to hold down keys, and if you’re not a natural singer, it feels like a low-risk opportunity to sing in a group setting while slowly building confidence in your own voice.

See also Teaching Chants: Incorporate Kirtan Into Your Classes

The Truth about Lessons

The harmonium is surprisingly easy to learn, especially the way Cohen teaches. Even if you don’t know how to read music, Cohen’s method of teaching features chart sheets for songs that rely on music notes by their name (ABCDEFG)—not as written music on a treble or bass staff. In the first class, he handed out Post-it Notes on which we wrote down the different notes, and we placed them above the corresponding keys to help guide our fingers. By the end, everyone was singing and playing “Om Shanti,” ascending up the keys from C to G to the rhythm of an electronic tabla beat. I realized right then that the harmonium is tremendously accessible and fun.

By the second class, we took turns leading call-and-response kirtan with our group, which even for a seasoned performer like myself was nerve-racking. Each student sang a verse to a song called “Baba Hanuman” while the entire group played along. Here lies the true magic of kirtan—experiencing the uniqueness and creative expression of each individual and then joining together as one voice, an incantation of the soul uniting with universal consciousness.

Michael Cohen is now teaching Harmonium and leading Kirtan online. Click here for more info. 

My harmonium now sits next to my yoga mat in the corner of my bedroom, ready for me to play when inspiration strikes. I often tune in with it before my daily meditation practice. Some days, I play for five minutes and others for two hours, adapting the instrument to my needs for creative expression on that day. Despite its roots in spiritual music, I’ve made this instrument my own, picking out blues chords or favorite jazz standards on the keys. Just like the creative consciousness of the universe, this instrument helps to integrate all aspects of my being, not just the parts I like or the parts that look tidy and together. The other day, I taught myself “You Know I’m No Good” by Amy Winehouse. And after working through the chorus and improvising on the bridge, I felt better than I had in a long time. 

View the original article to see embedded media.

See also The Effortless, Calming Magic of Mantra and Music, According to Science

[actutrends]

Sofia Wylie Teases ‘Heartbreaking’ Moments In ‘HSMTMTS’ Finale & Reveals Her Hopes For Season 2

Gina is back! Gina made a surprise return in the penultimate episode of ‘HSMTMTS’ season 1 and HL got the EXCLUSIVE scoop about the finale from Sofia Wylie. Plus, she admitted she was ‘bawling’ at the table read.

Sofia Wylie is one of the talented cast members of High School Musical: The Musical: The Series. At first, it appeared that her character, the fierce and competitive Gina, was just going to be Nini’s biggest foe within the musical scene. However, over the course of the season, Gina opened up and showed many facets of herself. She became a close confidant for Ricky and revealed her vulnerabilities.

HollywoodLife spoke with Sofia ahead of the finale’s premiere on Jan. 10. She admitted that it was “emotional” to read episode 10 of the Disney series because it was the final episode of the season. At the time, the cast didn’t know that the show was going to be renewed, so it could have been the last time they worked together on the show. Sofia said she was “bawling” at the table read as the story unfolded. Sofia discussed Ricky and Gina’s dynamic, what to expect in the finale, and she also revealed that we will find out who bought Gina the last-minute plane ticket.

What was your reaction when you read the script and realized that Gina wasn’t just going to be gone forever? Sofia Wylie: Well, I really hoped that she wasn’t going to be gone forever because then I would be devastated because I love the cast, I love the show, I love Gina. Thankfully, Tim [Federle] was very, very straight with telling me that I was not being written off the show in any way, shape, or form. But I think it’s so incredible how there was that gap episode in episode 8 where I’m not there because it allowed the audience to really feel as though Gina was going away forever. I’ve been reading all the tweets and all the Instagram posts and so many people were so sad that Gina is possibly leaving or that she was gone for good. I think that just shows so much about the fact that people even like her presence there, which makes me so happy. It was really emotional reading episode 10 because even though Gina back and she’s performing, it was still the end of season one with such an amazing run with such an incredible cast. I literally thought everybody was bawling at the table read but I’m pretty sure it was just me, Josh and a couple other people. I was actually so devastated even though I had very high hopes for another season. This first season was just everything I could have dreamed of and more. Playing a character like Gina who went through so much of a roller coaster in her development and who she was and her emotions as a human being was a lot for me. I was just so blessed to be able to play someone like her.

Gina does say when she comes back that a friend bought her a last-minute ticket. Will we find out in the finale who that friend was? Sofia Wylie: Yes, we will. A lot of people already have their theories. Reading episode 9, I did not even think twice about somebody specific within the cast. But everybody on Twitter, Tumblr, and through all the different social media platforms have these huge theories. It’s crazy because the fans are so dedicated and pay attention to detail.

A dynamic that was unexpected and that I really enjoyed was the relationship between Gina and Ricky. I loved their scenes together and they have that moment in episode 9. How do you feel about their relationship? On one hand, they’re such great friends and but then I could definitely see them as a couple.  Sofia Wylie: There is such a complicated relationship between Ricky and Gina, Ricky and Nini, Nini and EJ, and every cast member or character in the show. Their relationships with people are not just cut and dry. It’s very complicated. It’s very sticky and scary at times, but I think that’s what makes each “ship.” It’s very interesting because of all the ups and downs that they may have or how unexpected they are. With Ricky and Gina, they are very unexpected. I think that’s what makes people like their dynamic so much because no one was expecting that dynamic to exist. It was so much fun for me to play a character like Gina with that dynamic between her and Ricky because in the first couple of episodes, you only see this really dedicated, focused, singer-actress. But once we start to see the dynamic between her and Ricky, we really see her opening up, becoming more vulnerable, and seeing a side of her that is like a normal teenage girl with teenage feelings. Of course, that always comes with all the scary risk but her moment with Ricky in episode 9, you kind of see this change in their dynamic because so many things have changed for both of them in the last few weeks. She doesn’t believe she’s ever coming back, so what’s the point of really exploring more of this relationship? Ricky is still so confused about Nini and he’s just kind of in this tug of war because he doesn’t even know what he wants. The fan base has been crazy and there have been so many different people who ship so many different characters, but I think this is what makes the show so great is that there are so many people who relate and love so many different characters and ship so many different dynamics.

What can fans expect in the finale episode? Sofia Wylie: I think a big thing about episode 9 that people talked about was how heartbreaking it was. Because in the beginning, things are going pretty smoothly, we’re getting excited about the performance, but then so many things go wrong and characters say the wrong things or do the wrong things. I think that just reflects on regular high school life and for even the teachers as well. Nobody is perfect. Everybody’s making mistakes. I think we see a lot more of that in episode 10. Everybody’s just doing what they think is right but nobody can know exactly what is truly right. But I can say there are so many moments that I was just bawling my eyes out at the table read. Not just because I was sad that it was our last table read but because there are so many just heartbreaking moments in the episode. The acting in episode 10 is incredible from all of the cast members. So many new friendships and dynamics are also born in this last episode that you would never think because usually it’s kind of wrapping it up and then leaving a little cliffhanger, but there’s just so many more possibilities and possible relationships that are being made in this last episode. I think that’ll just make the fans so much more eager to see season 2 and it’s made me so much more eager to see season 2 because I know all the incredible possibilities for the next season.

Have you talked to Tim about Gina in season 2? Sofia Wylie: Yes, I have literally been begging him to just give me spoilers for all of season 2. He’s been great with giving us little nuggets here and there. But I mean, it’s just all up to him and the writers’ room. I’m so envious of them because they know the greatness that is season 2 and I can’t wait to see what it is. We’ll definitely be seeing a lot of fun stuff and we’ll hopefully see Gina in season 2, but I guess we’ll have to wait and see.

Gina went through so much in this first season. We got to see her really go from one version of her to seeing that she’s very much three dimensional. Is there anything you would want to explore with Gina in season 2? Sofia Wylie: If Gina were to stay, let’s see hypothetically, I would love to see her new experiences with staying in one place because she has moved so much within her life now. She can’t just kind of bulldoze her way through, get the lead, and do whatever she wants because she knows that she’s going to be moving away soon. I would really love for her to really create permanent relationships and see the almost fear of those relationships because she’s never really experienced staying in one place, having the consequences for her actions, and having to deal with these long term relationships with people her age. That would be really interesting. Of course, I’d love to see what happens in the future with Ricky and Nini or Ricky and Gina. Also, I’m so excited to see what the musical will be. That will be a big change with the dynamic with whoever gets the lead and whoever does it. I will definitely add a lot of drama to the show. If Gina were to stay, how would she stay? Would you be staying because of her mom’s job didn’t have to relocate? Because she’s staying with somebody? It’s all up in the air. There are so many possibilities.

The post Sofia Wylie Teases ‘Heartbreaking’ Moments In ‘HSMTMTS’ Finale & Reveals Her Hopes For Season 2 appeared first on Actu Trends.

[lindyhunt]

Charlotte Cardin Will Take Over the Music Industry in 2019–Even Though You Don’t Know Her Name Yet

In our Winter issue, FASHION editors rounded up the 100 people, products and experiences we predict will blow up in 2019. It’s our inaugural Hot 100 Fuse List. From the workouts you’ll be doing, to the new designers and destinations you’ll see on your feed, this is your guide to being in the know next year. With two headlining tours under her belt, two successful EPs and an album on the way, naturally Charlotte Cardin was the first to come to mind.

Photography by Brent Goldsmith. Styling by Juliana Schiavinatto. Creative direction by Brittany Eccles. Hair, Peter Gray for Home Agency/Shu Uemura. Makeup, Julie Cusson for Chanel. Fashion assistants, Cherry Wang and Gabriela Lima. Photography assistant, Florian Debray.

1: Charlotte Cardin

Charlotte Cardin isn’t lying when she talks about her love of Radiohead. When you’re a fan, you don’t necessarily mean to talk about your idols all the time, but opportunities just seem to arise. It so happens that, as a musician, Cardin gets asked about music a lot. Consequently, there’s a good chance you’ll hear her gush about Radiohead.

Over the phone from Paris, where she is overlooking the artistic mecca of Montmartre (tough work, right?), she’s talking about one of their songs in particular. “I always give the example of ‘No Surprises’ by Radiohead,” she says. “It’s probably my favourite song in the world. It’s so simple, and the melody is so beautiful. I like hearing something that’s so good that it doesn’t need much—maybe they even underdid it, just because your mind can complete the song a bit. I like hearing space in music.”

Take note: Cardin is big on space.

Imagine if she were a character in a novel about a beautiful singer-songwriter from Montreal who first earned acclaim as a competitor on the Québécois version of The Voice (La Voix) but is now writing music in Paris, for instance. It shouldn’t be much of a stretch. To continue this precarious metaphor, let’s say this novel was assigned in an English 101 class. You could write an essay in said class about how Cardin represents the concept of liminality, of occupying a space in between. You would probably get a pretty good grade. (I hope so, anyway, because that’s essentially my angle for this piece.)

Right now, she exists in a moment just before. Before adulthood, before fame and celebrity, she sings her entrancing smoke-and-nostalgia-scented pop somewhere in between real life and stories.

Part of this ambiguity is intentional. The songs she writes are confessional, sometimes raw or sad or brimming with lust and longing. But that doesn’t mean they are true or even about her exactly. “I don’t only write about personal heartbreaks,” she says. “I will write from my perspective, but a lot of my songs are fictional: things that a friend told me, something I noticed or something I experienced myself.”

Photography by Brent Goldsmith. Styling by Juliana Schiavinatto. Creative direction by Brittany Eccles. Hair, Peter Gray for Home Agency/Shu Uemura. Makeup, Julie Cusson for Chanel. Fashion assistants, Cherry Wang and Gabriela Lima. Photography assistant, Florian Debray.

“I love playing with the line between fiction and reality,” she continues. “If you start from a story that sort of affected you but isn’t currently destroying your life, there’s just more space to create around that event.”

Speaking of fiction and singers: Cast your mind back to 2002. That year, when she was 20, poet, perform­ance artist and icon Britney Spears sang her powerful tribute to liminality. You’ll recall that at the time, as she insisted in the song, she was not a girl anymore but neither was she a woman. What she needed, she proclaimed, was time—a moment for herself—while she was in between.

In terms of genre and branding, Cardin doesn’t share many similarities with Spears. (Styl­istically, and with good reason, she’s more often compared to Amy Winehouse, although she doesn’t share her demons, thankfully.) But that song could have been written by Cardin. Or, I suppose, by any woman in her early 20s. Liminality is a universal experience: when you are old enough to hang a degree on your wall but not old enough to rent a car. Cardin doesn’t sing about it in so many words, but she embodies it. For her, it has less to do with post-adolescence and more to do with experience and self-discovery.

Photography by Brent Goldsmith. Styling by Juliana Schiavinatto. Creative direction by Brittany Eccles. Hair, Peter Gray for Home Agency/Shu Uemura. Makeup, Julie Cusson for Chanel. Fashion assistants, Cherry Wang and Gabriela Lima. Photography assistant, Florian Debray.

She is at the age when your identity starts to coalesce and you start examining your life with a more critical, informed eye. At 24, with two headlining tours under her belt, two successful EPs and an album on the way, Cardin is learning more about herself. And what she has discovered is that, like Spears, she needs some time.

“I didn’t think I was a loner, but I realized I am a little bit,” she says. “I really need some space, some personal time just to do my shit without having people around. I tour with extraordinary musicians, awesome human beings, and they’re really good friends of mine, but I realized I do need some personal space to be happy.”

But, Cardin says, this revelation doesn’t extend to her romantic life. “In a relationship, I don’t feel the same way,” she explains. “I think the best relationships are those where you can spend so much time with the other person but you never feel like you need to act a certain way or do specific things.”

“I really need some space, some personal time just to do my shit without having people around.”

Which, actually, sounds a lot like how she feels about her family. If we judge fandom by how readily, and how often, a person mentions his or her favourite band (or whatever), then Radiohead has nothing on Cardin’s family. That’s probably how it should be.

After all, Thom Yorke didn’t put her in singing lessons when she was eight, and he doesn’t travel to as many of her shows as he possibly can. Her parents do, always full of pride for their daughter, even when she sings about adult situations. “It’s awkward sometimes if they ask exactly what I meant by something that I know is not something I want to share with them,” she says. “But they’re open-minded. I’m glad I don’t have to feel ashamed, because I know they understand. They were young once, too. They’re like, ‘We know that sex exists.’”

Photography by Brent Goldsmith. Styling by Juliana Schiavinatto. Creative direction by Brittany Eccles. Hair, Peter Gray for Home Agency/Shu Uemura. Makeup, Julie Cusson for Chanel. Fashion assistants, Cherry Wang and Gabriela Lima. Photography assistant, Florian Debray.

She’s safe is the point. But her family isn’t the only reason she can enjoy where she is now. There’s excitement and freedom when you’re in between because the world hasn’t assigned you a dominant narrative quite yet. Sure, there are comparisons to Winehouse—but that is as complimentary as it is accurate. She also tends to get asked about La Voix and about the time she spent modelling when she was 15. (She left the biz when she was 19 to focus on her music.)

If “It girl” were still a title women wanted and the media bestowed, Cardin would be an ideal candidate. And the fact that she was a model is an essential ingredi­ent in her It-ness. She’s so cool; she gave up what is a quintessentially cool career in favour of an even cooler one.

“I’m glad I don’t have to feel ashamed, because I know they understand.”

The other thing that makes her cool is the confident way in which she trusts her instincts. “I’ve realized that when you believe in something, even if you have a certain doubt, or a certain fear, it’s nice to go with it because you can never be mad at yourself for something you believed in,” explains Cardin. “It’s when someone imposes something on you—that’s when you’ll regret a song or doing something. You might mess up a few times, but at least it’s your own fault.”

I can see her hanging out in that Paris apartment, writing songs, on the edge of whatever comes next, trusting herself to figure out what that is. In his novel Everything Matters!, Ron Currie writes something about moments—moments like the one Cardin has made for herself: “…even in this last moment there is still Everything, whole galaxies and eons, the sum total of every experience across time, shrunk to the head of a pin, theirs for the asking, right here, right now. And so anything, anything, anything is possible.”

If only that were in a Radiohead song, then it might be Cardin’s favourite line because it already describes her perfectly

Photography by Brent Goldsmith. Styling by Juliana Schiavinatto. Creative direction by Brittany Eccles. Hair, Peter Gray for Home Agency/Shu Uemura. Makeup, Julie Cusson for Chanel. Fashion assistants, Cherry Wang and Gabriela Lima. Photography assistant, Florian Debray.

Photography by Brent Goldsmith. Styling by Juliana Schiavinatto. Creative direction by Brittany Eccles. Hair, Peter Gray for Home Agency/Shu Uemura. Makeup, Julie Cusson for Chanel. Fashion assistants, Cherry Wang and Gabriela Lima. Photography assistant, Florian Debray.

Photography by Brent Goldsmith. Styling by Juliana Schiavinatto. Creative direction by Brittany Eccles. Hair, Peter Gray for Home Agency/Shu Uemura. Makeup, Julie Cusson for Chanel. Fashion assistants, Cherry Wang and Gabriela Lima. Photography assistant, Florian Debray.

Photography by Brent Goldsmith. Styling by Juliana Schiavinatto. Creative direction by Brittany Eccles. Hair, Peter Gray for Home Agency/Shu Uemura. Makeup, Julie Cusson for Chanel. Fashion assistants, Cherry Wang and Gabriela Lima. Photography assistant, Florian Debray.

Photography by Brent Goldsmith. Styling by Juliana Schiavinatto. Creative direction by Brittany Eccles. Hair, Peter Gray for Home Agency/Shu Uemura. Makeup, Julie Cusson for Chanel. Fashion assistants, Cherry Wang and Gabriela Lima. Photography assistant, Florian Debray.

Photography by Brent Goldsmith. Styling by Juliana Schiavinatto. Creative direction by Brittany Eccles. Hair, Peter Gray for Home Agency/Shu Uemura. Makeup, Julie Cusson for Chanel. Fashion assistants, Cherry Wang and Gabriela Lima. Photography assistant, Florian Debray.

Photography by Brent Goldsmith. Styling by Juliana Schiavinatto. Creative direction by Brittany Eccles. Hair, Peter Gray for Home Agency/Shu Uemura. Makeup, Julie Cusson for Chanel. Fashion assistants, Cherry Wang and Gabriela Lima. Photography assistant, Florian Debray.

Photography by Brent Goldsmith. Styling by Juliana Schiavinatto. Creative direction by Brittany Eccles. Hair, Peter Gray for Home Agency/Shu Uemura. Makeup, Julie Cusson for Chanel. Fashion assistants, Cherry Wang and Gabriela Lima. Photography assistant, Florian Debray.

Photography by Brent Goldsmith. Styling by Juliana Schiavinatto. Creative direction by Brittany Eccles. Hair, Peter Gray for Home Agency/Shu Uemura. Makeup, Julie Cusson for Chanel. Fashion assistants, Cherry Wang and Gabriela Lima. Photography assistant, Florian Debray.

Photography by Brent Goldsmith. Styling by Juliana Schiavinatto. Creative direction by Brittany Eccles. Hair, Peter Gray for Home Agency/Shu Uemura. Makeup, Julie Cusson for Chanel. Fashion assistants, Cherry Wang and Gabriela Lima. Photography assistant, Florian Debray.

Photography by Brent Goldsmith. Styling by Juliana Schiavinatto. Creative direction by Brittany Eccles. Hair, Peter Gray for Home Agency/Shu Uemura. Makeup, Julie Cusson for Chanel. Fashion assistants, Cherry Wang and Gabriela Lima. Photography assistant, Florian Debray.

Photography by Brent Goldsmith. Styling by Juliana Schiavinatto. Creative direction by Brittany Eccles. Hair, Peter Gray for Home Agency/Shu Uemura. Makeup, Julie Cusson for Chanel. Fashion assistants, Cherry Wang and Gabriela Lima. Photography assistant, Florian Debray.

1/12

Charlotte Cardin

Jacket, price upon request, skirt, $3,875, and shoes, $1,025, Chanel. Top, Charlotte’s own.

2/12

Charlotte Cardin

Top, price upon request, Chanel.

3/12

Charlotte Cardin

Pants, $9,795, Chanel. Top, shoes and rings (worn throughout), Charlotte’s own.

4/12

Charlotte Cardin

Dress, $8,975, Chanel. Shoes, Charlotte’s own.

5/12

Charlotte Cardin

Jacket, $6,025, and pants, $5,075, Chanel.

6/12

Charlotte Cardin

Top, price upon request, and skirt, $7,100, Chanel. Necklace, Charlotte’s own.

7/12

Charlotte Cardin

Jacket, price upon request, skirt, $3,875, and shoes, $1,025, Chanel. Top, Charlotte’s own.

8/12

Charlotte Cardin

Jacket, price upon request, skirt, $3,875, and shoes, $1,025, Chanel. Top, Charlotte’s own.

9/12

Charlotte Cardin

Top and skirt, prices upon request, Chanel.

10/12

Charlotte Cardin

Top, $4,175, pants, $2,825, and shoes, $1,025, Chanel.

11/12

Charlotte Cardin

Top, $2,975, pants, $1,405, and bracelet, $1,675, Chanel.

12/12

Charlotte Cardin

Jacket, price upon request, skirt, $3,875, and shoes, $1,025, Chanel. Top, Charlotte’s own.