#where's the love for yellow man
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Personal Update
Hello, my beautiful like-minded creatures in the flesh,
It’s been a while since I gave an update, and I thought one was long overdue. If I’m wrong about this and you don’t care to read about my personal life (I really don’t blame you), please go on about your day. I hope it’s a great one! If you are interested, I will clue you into what’s been happening.
As usual, I have already had many medical appointments this year and many more to come. I had a procedure done on my right shoulder last month (happy July, by the way!) to see if we can get a steroid concoction to help me. If it doesn’t (it’s been touch and go so far), I will need to have a different, more painful procedure done. I’m still playing around with medication, trying new things, getting new side effects, and finding out that my body is pretty much anti-all pills. It’s super frustrating, to be honest. I’m all for being clean, and I think that less is usually best, but in my case, I’m getting no relief anywhere. I’m not sleeping. The brain fog is worse than ever, my memory is awful, joint pain, neuropathy, and muscle fatigue are worse, etc… All in all, the physical stuff is different in a few ways, but pretty much the same.
However, I’ve been in a down spell with my mental health. The depression lately has been impressive, really. I work hard daily to stay positive and keep my head above water, but I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t back-breaking work. That alone makes it hard to be productive, but I’m forcing myself to do things—it’s unfortunate because writing hasn’t been one of them. I want to, and the urge is there, but my memory and ability to form sentences are making it extremely hard, and writing seems impossible right now. Even writing this has been a journey and not a good one. Very bad, in fact. Think boggy marsh full of mosquitoes, mud-filled shoes, and sweltering, humid heat. I’m working hard to get out of the swamp and onto a tropical island, but until then, this is where I’m at—overrun by anxiety, depression, and medical hang-ups. I’m working with my therapist, though. Soon, I will be starting EMDR. That should be fun. I’ve been touching on a lot of trauma lately, so hopefully unlocking all of it and putting it in the right place will help me move forward.
There’s more, but I think you’re all smart cookies, and you got the gist of things. This update has become long enough. I hope that you’re all doing well by staying happy, healthy, and living life to its fullest! I mean that. Truly. I care about all of you, even if we don’t talk much or at all in some cases.
Take care and be safe. The world is as terrifying as it is beautiful right now.
With all my love, Kai (your local disturbed homo)
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gooseworx in the glitchx livestream: i want to see people draw jax in a suit. people should draw him crying
me: sure thing, boss o7
#tadc#the amazing digital circus#art#jax#caine#ragatha#doodles#tadc fanart#the amazing digital circus fanart#gooseworx#glitchx#the tie was almost yellow in the left one. and then my brain yelled THE MAN BEHIND THE SLAUGHTER??? and i had 2 change it#too afton colored#also i think it's interesting that the characters can't change their own outfits. caine has to do it#they're like baked into their character models in-universe. that's a cool detail#so that's why he's the space filler. the rabt will be dapper he demands it#i hope they do get in the joke where pomni takes off her hat and the back of her head is empty. u just see eyes and the mouth modeling#i love video game humor. i have seen many such horrors playing phasmophobia while my pals load in
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LEON
LEON YOUR EYEBALLS
#art#ride kamens#ride kamens spoilers#ride kamens episode 14 spoilers#can't believe i made a joke about it being his eye color AND THEN#i did see his updated sprite before i got to 13 but i didn't even notice it at first...#at least he also got a funky little face marking to go with it#shine on you super shitsuji!!!!#anyway I AM FINALLY CAUGHT UP#on main story anyway i haven't played the tower emblem event yet :')#but man i am loving this game#i was not expecting it to be a full-on mystery! with intrigue!#who is lying! who is telling the truth! who THINKS they're telling the truth but isn't!#punctuated by the most delightful nonsense like the unbreakable magic superhero covenants#where you gotta touch rings in the magical wedding chapel dimension that we teleport to sometimes to talk to our dead dad#(OR IS HE???????)#NO IT'S GREAT (and it does make sense in context i just love it)#still 50/50 on yellow beyblade man secretly being our dad but i can't get into theories now i don't have enough tags#man this really has the essence of what i love about rider ❤️#so far i do think agata is my favorite#but then there's leon...#let me put it this way: i would tell agata a hard truth about himself if i thought he needed to hear it#but there is no amount of money in the world you could pay me to say anything even slightly mean to our sweet leon#LET 👏 HIM 👏 HENSHIN 👏#WAIT SHOOT is it too late to redo my survey answers i need to demand that i be able to put hats on leon
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are you really besties if you can't share a joint
#i will maintain my stance that blue-yellow is one of The best color combos ever#fuck red-blue WHERES MY LOVE FOR BLUE-YELLOW HUH#anyway. them <3#might color this at some point! Maybe!#but mannnnn man man man i love them so much oughhhhh#they are... besties... Bestest Besties... woaw...#was gonna add in like. environment details. maybe something for barn to be leaning against#but then i realized! i dont Have to do anything! and tbh i quite simply couldnt be fucked!#scribble salad#welcome home#welcome home puppet show#wally darling#barnaby b beagle#barnaby's human design has single handedly made me want to buckle down on Improving in the drawing-humans area#HES SO GORGEOUS AND FOR WHAT!!! AND FOR!!! WHAT!!!!#i just wanna keep scribblin him! gah! agh! ough!#shoutout to barnaby b beagle for continuously making me Unwell <3#hes so neat. what a guy.#adding wally in was a last minute decision tbh i was lost in the sauce#but then i stepped back and well. barn needs his little buddy am i rite fellas#so! a little smoke sesh for the best pair of friends Ever! probably at a random spot in the woods or somethin idk#does a sketch need to have thought behind it. is it not enough to simply draw what one wants to#OH MY GOD BARNABY'S HAND IS BACKWARDS. FUCK ME.#man i am Not redrawing that. who cares! to make mistakes is to be human!#(said through gritted teeth)
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The Auditors | Episode 8
#the auditors#theauditorsedit#goo han soo#goo hansoo#shin cha il#shin chail#감사합니다#mine#now you have to realize this directly follows the scene at the bar.#it's registering as lonely old man in love with his young colleague will take it to the grave#going a little crazy over the contrast between the scenes because the bar light was this warm intimate yellow glow#& except for when they focused on faces the screen was always full of details - bottles; people in the background; decorated walls#cut to his bare fucking bones apartment where there's nothing to look at and he's sitting alone in the middle of an almost-empty room#watching a video of someone who's the exact kind of warmth he can't bring into his life#the other thing you have to understand is that maeva isnt coming home for another couple of weeks so this is the state im reduced to
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that's enough, let's get you home is so winterwatchercore
#not skeletons#not art#wof#wings of fire#winterwatcher#thats enough lets get you home#icimi#will wood icimi#in case i make it#will wood#will wood and the tapeworms#ww#wwatt#wwattw#i love will woob <3#yellow yaps#“dream girl come- but keep your hands off me!”#“go on back to bed my love- i mean that's where dreams are supposed to be”#also i hc winter to be transmasc so i can take the lines#“grow up be a man cause until then you're nothing but a short haired girl”#and i can replace william with winter#“so come on winter grow up be a man cause until then they're gonna treat you like you're just a little girl”#“but come and braille-palm-read hold my hand and see that it's me who cried mercy while your fingers curled!!”
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Miles: the plural form of Hobie is Hobi
Gwen: actually it’s called a headache
Hobie: actually it’s called child neglect 😑 it all started when i first learned to walk,
Miles and Gwen:
#i love this pic of him it’s hilarious to me for no reason#miles morales#spiderman#spider man#hobie brown#spiderpunk#spider punk#gwen stacy#spidergwen#ghost spider#idk his backstory for the comics where his lenses are yellow hold on i’m going see if i can read that
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one last halloween — dcu halloween special (2008)
(ID in alt!)
#i know that man smells rancid but.... i love u batman......#also i love u children of gotham.....#always thinking about how their lives are impacted by the city#the horror tales you whisper at sleepovers and making up crimes from his rogues gallery#the speculation of batman. do you outgrow believing in him like santa?#or are the older children more likely to believe a man is capable and selfless enough to try and help night after night?#the blurry photos from shaky hands. how many photos of batman are from a lower angle where he's at his most towering#because it was taken by a child that managed to get one#do you share it? online for other fans? to your friends to prove his existence; especially if teased for believing in him?#or do you keep it safe and private with the comfort no one will tell you the image is fake or its an impersonator and plant a seed of doubt#the friend arguments on who's batman and who's robin. the teens argue on whos riddler and who's joker#some teens go as harvey and show printed legal documents as a gag#a tragedy of who he once was seemingly so from the person that they now laugh at it#how many robins bruce saw after jasons death and how they twisted an knife inside him#he couldn't protect his little boy but he'll protect them. he has to. its expected of him.#yet seeing those flashes of red or yellow and its a nauseating wave of grief he cant fight off but can only fight through#the children innocent enough to trick or treat. the knowledge that each year theres less and less because#parents don't feel comfortable sending their children out or that they go while theres still some light in the sky. home before dark.#the candy he keeps stored in his belt and replaces with the same necessary and stakes as replacing the batarangs with sharp and fresh ones.#c: dcu halloween special (2008)#crypt's panels#batman#bruce wayne#posts from the crypt#transcrypts
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Legacy
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We were supposed to make history
Our family was meant to set people free
And triumph to be our legacy
So why did you leave me?
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#pmatga#pacman and the ghostly adventures#pac-man#pacster#Tree of Life#art#fanart#pmatga fanart#Kinda wish the show delved a little deeper into Pac's inner conflict over his missing parents#Ofc we see him missing them tremendously#but I would've love to see some deeper emotions about it#like what if he has abandonment issues#Jealousy when looking at his friends and classmates still having their parents#Loneliness for being the only yellow one around aka no one to relate to#Anger at his parents for 'leaving' him and just disappearing without a goodbye#You know the kind of feelings that an orphan was bound to feel#AND the conflicting emotions when he found out that WAIT they were never dead and were just abducted by aliens??#like#where's the angst#gimme the angst#if I can't have the angst then I will find the angst#*gestures madly to the artwork*#anyway the tree represents the connection Yellow Ones have to power berries and their history with it#and the only two yellow power berries represent Pac's parents#its corny I know#my art
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for ppl that know my tf fan lore you would think I'd be ryu/kita pilled since I was blur/bee CEO but actually I was driven by my shock/bee instincts to be drawn to ake/kita instead <- none of these words are in the bible
#THERES A METHOD TO MY MADNESS#ok ok ok. ryu/kita. its the spunky bro electric yellow guy and the autistic weird blue guy. thats straight up blur/bee and i admit it#THE BLUE GUY IS EVEN TALLER THAN THE YELLOW GUY. ITS SO BLURBEE#but like for me. i def enjoy ryu/kita a lot but it doesnt make me crazy like blurbee does. nor ake/kita#BUT LIKE OK. THIS IS WHERE ME SAYING AKE/KITA IS LIKE SHOCK/BEE GETS INTO INSANE PPL TERRITORY#ok . for one. ermmmmmmm. shockwave .... was my first goro.#bc he has the whole. false identity meant to decive vs true identity as a villain thing. like gorby#and also i admit. i do have my v specific fan interpretation of him that makes him more sympathetic BUT ALSO THATS LIKE JUST ME.#ITS NOT IN CANON. IM AWARE OF MY DELUSION. i have fun though its ok. i separate fan interpretation from canon text. i have media literacy#the real insane part though is trying to explain why yusuke takes on a bee role.#to preface its not matching in personality. at all. they are nothing alike#its not the personality thats key here. its the role and dynamic he specifically has with shockwave#in which hes kinda a more lighter character that often gets religated as comic relief in the source material#but does have a genuine depth to him that could be taken more seriously but that usually gets ignored#and paired up with the antagonist guy with conflicting identity he pulls out a better side from them#and also they have the capacity to be sooo crazy dramas and toxic yaois and redemption like. whatever.#IM INSANE. IM INSANE IM INSANE. GOD .#i . i . i . im.... idk man i love dynamics#shock/bee still isnt like my top tf:a rarepair. but also ryu/kita isnt my top personba 5 pair . for some inexplicable reason#when i rlly enjoy both these kinds of dynamics but then sometimes it clicks with me more with certain character and a lil less with others#im a complex inexplicable enigma. but also maybe some characters just make it work better for me#i think largely overall though#im drawn to dynamics that have a hint of smth in the source and are expanded upon more in transformative material#anyway blah blah blah all that though#the real consistency is i keep having the same favorite character in stuff and its the blue autistic guy#rando thoughtz
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i dont think i ever felt more annoyed at commercials than when those mean girls walmart ads were playing a few months ago or whenever that was
#i think it's mostly bc i thought mean girls was like. an okay movie. a fine movie? i think i liked it#but like. i saw it once. i have no nostalgia for it bc i saw it way later/not when it originally came out#and god the way people are so into it. i mean that is great like i dont wanna be a hater for people enjoying things#but me personally. i do not understand why it's a cult classic or whatever klsjfkdlsfj i hear people quote it all the time and im like. 🧍#so having those quotes i already dont care about re contextualized to try to sell me walmart. god. the worst experience jkfsdjfklJFDKLSJF#tbh maybe it woudlve been worse if i liked the movie but i saw comments saying those commercials were funny so WHATEVER#i feel like it's also the same w/like. vocaloid kfsjdflksjgh like i dont dislike it!! i enjoy some songs#but i never had a vocaloid phase when i was younger. i feel so very neutral about miku#ppl on the internet feel so strongly positive and again thats great and i objectively get it#ive been shown vocaloid songs and some are really catchy#but it is one of those instances where im like man. a level of hype i dont fully understand LOL#miku vocaloid stuff is at least endearing tho. i get.... tired... w/mean girls quotes......... ksljfsljfl#It's Always The Same Ones and i just dont think theyre very funny FKJLDSJFDKLSJF maybe i am a hater damn#jk i do think i liked the movie? god i dont remember i watched it like. i dont even know when. college at the earliest i think#but whatever thats just a case of people having different interests just cuz i didnt care about a thing doesnt man its bad other ppl like i#also tho i think bc the mean girls overquoted bits remind me of like. rae dunn ceramics LOL jkfskfjsekht#or like idk live laugh love stuff. yknow like. dont talk to me until ive had my coffee has same energy as on wednesdays we wear pink. to me#it's facebook wine mom humor.... bc it is people roughly my age that were/are really into it and they are now mom age i guess lwpfhewhfp#god i need to go to bed im tired and it's making me a cranky complainer about stuff that doesnt matter!!!!#went 2 my dash in a dif tab and immediately saw a miku post is she gonna get me for not having strong feelings about her#im sorry miku i just . i dont get it JKFLJDSKLFJKSLD#ur music is fun i just dont proportionately understand. i feel like im missing context w/this one girl maybe thats my bad idk#or maybe it's just i found u too late idk. i will jam to the bops tho#that endless/everlasting/whatever nights thing w/like the 4 alt storyline songs is soooo fun i love those#dont ask me the names of the ppl in them tho i dont fuckin know besides like. 3 of them. one is miku LOL#and those yellow twin kids. len and ren. or rin? len and rin? i dont remember and i dont care enough to look it up sorry small children#theres that blue haired guy that was in the one prsk route i played but i forgot his name again#i dont know if hes in those songs i was talkin about tho i only remember what he looks like in his youthful wonderland alt loll#i talk in the tags bc i get scared it feels safe in my burrow here underground#also im calling mean girls mid and saying i dont have miku hype so i feel like that does warrant going into hiding
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Thunderstorm going on rn. I don't think I'd get any lightning strikes lol
OUHHHHH holy fuck dude this is the shit AUGH
#i’m obsessed with how Yellow these are#ough….. the third one where the sky’s just clouds#man#answering asks#justanidiotartist asks#jaa!!#i fucking love the first two waghh
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SO YESTERDAY.
#now i just feel stupid because WHY DID I WALK WITH HIM TILL HIS FUCKING SOCIETY WHAT#why did i do thattttt i went 😬 as soon as i sat in the auto because thats liek the whole walk for him yk#but childddf it was fun.#like okay so omg also yesterday there was a BIG fight in our class ok like these 2 boys#something happened between them and they were just BEATING THE SHIT out of each other it was crazy#anyways yesterday i showed hands guy all the funny cat gifs i have saved on my phone#and he liked one so much he was like SEND IT TO ME RN#its fhe one where cat is banging its head on the wall and then it blasts#ALSO JE SHOWED ME SO SO SO MANY OF HIS CAT PICS#HIS CAT'S NAME IS SKY AND HE HAS YELLOW EYES#he showed me his cat's loaf pics#we all love cat loaf here so does he#bro we have same opinion about so many things#anyways then yesterday also we walkrd together and this time till his society#it was fun tho ok we were laughing but i think walking till his society was too much idk#he is also kind of an awkward introvert guy so maybe he is just like that but what if he is like 'girl leave me alone' inside yo#yk*#IDKKKK MAN IDKKKKK#but ya at the end. FUNNNN#gargi is keysmashing
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Good ship dynamic is:
"When I see them I feel like I just took in a breath of fresh air."
#I love love man#ugh so many good ship dynamics#the very VERY best is that one post where a guy has never had a favourite colour#until his gf said that yellow might be it#and now he can live in it#and oh ym god I'm crying#I need a minute give me a minute oh my god
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bf’s parents arrive home from italy & they bring us pounds n pounds of chocolate + cheese HEHEHE
look at how THICK this bar is!!!!!!! it’s so so so yummy i already had like four squares ehehehe (*/ω\*) not pictured: me trying to snap that bar with my bare hands and bf’s mom going oh my god please help her before she hurts herself and rushing towards me with a massive knife to chop the chocolate for me
#i don’t have photos of all the cheese they brought back but oh my god#so so so much cheese#straight from the lil markets 🥺🥺🥺#they also !!!!!! found a house!!!!!#it’s so so cute it’s yellow n in the mountains#and i love it#and they love it#his dad took like a billion pictures#they’re gonna sit on it for a bit before deciding to buy but waaaah#i’d give up almost everything to live in italy#the whole country is art#like pure art#everything#the baker baking bread every morning? art. the little farmers market where everyone sells local fresh food? art#THE GELATO???????? art!!!!!!!#bf’s dad was saying they got gelato from a man who literally sculpted the scoops to make them perfectly round#every building is art#it’s a crime that i’m italian and i’ve never been there#tho we’re from the south LMAO#my nonna is always like ‘no no no you don’t want to go there!’#like yes i do nonna but not to our village#anyway~ we spent hours talking about it and looking at their photos#i hope one day i get to travel there too <3#clari chatters
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Still havent got over how ace looks like his mom. The eyes man
#also i find it very cruel how theyre showing us how he was born to explain why he is going to die. stop#also is luffy wearing yellow so ace can be red this arc#also last episode garp said youre going to live with these children/young men hinting at sabo i guess but damn since the start they tell you#also whitebeards bones in his jolly roger being put like a cross...... yeah yeah#iva san thinks dragon has two children lmao#LUFFY KNEW ABOUT GOLD ROGER!!???#he could have loosen his tongue just once and boom...... oh here is where aces father got executed WHO???#screaming for his father omg.......#find it very funny that ace hasnt changed clothes in 3 years but he lost his shirt at least#oh shit ace has the spade pirates... funny#ACE CLULD HAVE BEEN A SHUCHIBUKAI#fighting for five days. love how luffy is there to chill but ace will fight on prupose and at any given point to make it#saying fuck you to the man. hell yeah ace#also thinking about a perfect world if ace and luffy went into the sea together. what if......#so whitebeard just took him lmao#ace just going to kill whitebeard in his sleep lmao man have some honor. god the assassination attempts#it probs gives whitebeard memories of him and roger fighting each other#oh thatch was his friend...... that was personal#still the assassination atempts are hus reaction to not being able to kill him and take the claim of pirate king when he is born to be it#fucking blackbeard in the background of all this.... DIEEEEEE!!!!#and whitebeard trying to stop ace from revenge.... oof the angst#disobeying hus father is going to get him executed.... but he is being executed for being just someones son. okay i am normal#so ace is not wearing his necklace until he make shis pirate crew#i feel like i need to watch this episide again. i need to squeeze it clean#extract every drop of stuff i can retain#whitebeard said he told him to go but ace clearly went on his own.. wtf#talking tag#watching one piece#episide 461
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