#where’s that post about max saying this about Eleanor and then… knowing what happens to historical Anne Bonny

[micamicster]

Do you think they would really do it… try a woman for piracy?

[zhalar]

i did these posts with books i read in 2020 i think, bout to make another for black sails. this is just a yardstick for my progression with the series, aka my extensive nonsensical notes and quotes i liked etc. no clear indicators whos saying what and when, just Vibes and Real Drama Television so i'll generally remember whats Happening. watch out its quite a wordy fucknig thing if you press read more also i started at episode 4 of season1 for some fucking reason and it pisses me off immensely. IT TOOK ME SIX MONTHS AND NINE DAYS TO FINISH THIS SHOW. I NEED TO PUT THESE THOUGHTS SOMEWHERE. heres also a twitter thread of reaction for however long the site's gonna be usable at this point

(watch and read as my opinions on characters and decisions change in real time)

ep4 fuckign FUCK jack is the funniest motherfucker in this SHOWWW . "you'd be a valuable asset to anybody .. my [most valuable thing??] is my wits [and as someone who just lost 5000 pesos of their own crew's money, it isn't worth much atm]

"and that, my darling, i feel compelled to state out loud, life is simply too FUCKING SHORT".

also anne as the muscle and him as the wits.❤️ straight rights

ep5 "i specifically tried to talk her OUT of getting wrapped up in my selfish scheme" it's the Best when men are. self-aware.

ep6 eleanor holding john's life in her fingers❤️ tasty delicious i love women with power yes girl destroy every other person for the woman who you love

the enslaved people fucking their captors shit right up. i love this flavor. fucking hell. fucking fuck the stunt scott pulled almost got me ooohhhh thank god it didn't go as i feared.

john has this cadence about him it's like he's constantly trying to sell me a used car

BILLY ? FLINT. ARE YOU. FOR REALLLL

"you had your say. now i'll have mine" ANNEEEE

ep7 gates: "because billy. Wasn't expendable. To Me." MY MANNNNNNNNNNNNN IM GONNA. CRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

eleanor PLEASE get your head outta your assSSSS....

back to jack rackham's funtime brothel business attempt :) hes so bad at this... what the hell.... "the wRong tree" BITCH.... he is so pathetique godbless

"get your fucking house in order" MAX. I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!

the . fuckign tears in Gates' eyes when Dufrene says that after this trip, Flint dies. . ajdslfhjl

ep8 flint you . flint. Flint. you fucking. YOU SADDDD PATHETICCCCCCC LITTLE MAN. NOT! GATES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! not the sobbing and im sorry's and cradling his dead body in your hands. this sucks. this fucking SUCKS

i wish vane would suck some sand and die :)

john's manic smile "had to be done" you are. sssssso. YOU.

"no-man's-land. there was a time when stopping halfway across this bridge would have been unthinkable to you"

sorry to be so crude but flint's tits are fucking Humongous. Who allowed this.

s2

ep1 "but i'm the only person within a hundred miles of here who doesn't want to see you dead" hm. my god. so flint and silver, like...

"maaadam guthrie" jack <3

"so i actually have to fight him?" "WELL WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU THINK WAS GONNA HAPPEN"

"you have absolutely nothing to worry about" i doubt that, jack. but thanks

OH MY DOUBTS ARE UNFOUNDED !

flint and silver make each other worse :) yay!!!

ep2 ".. but seducing her was certainly... an interesting approach"

idk where this is going to go yet . but jack. "take our, predicament" bruh. MANN. hes so pathetic and i feel bad for him but do nottt be a dickkkkk. HE'S TALKING LEGALIZE LIKE A DICK AND JUST. TAKES THE SHOT. [DRUMROLL] READY TO LEAVE,

. JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK. "Please know that all i have ever wanted for you is to be happy. come to bed when you're through" for. REAL?????????????????? JACK MY BEST FRIEND JACK?? POLY KING..

ep4 im sorry i know theres all this war and politic intrigue happening but the . threesome morning after, jack's awkward but jovial ?? grimace at max when he's leaving the scene, ohh my god... also max being a ma'am now within the brothel❤️ and jack kissing anne's head as he rose from bed....

flint and john insane homoerotically charged conversations. always reverting back to his share of the gold huh.

ep5 miranda's actor doing SO much for big frustrated female emotions(tm)

(utterly unimpressed) "all right. what's the matter with the articles"

"so again fuck's your problem?" anne... anne your voice is like a SO~NG

"and another to tell them why they should want to do it"

ohh my god, uhhuh. Uhhuh. huh? . yeah. yeah i thought so. i mean. fuck. Wow. uhhuh. no one's spoiled me enough to prepare me for this, then, huh. james fucking flint you complicated hard-headed queer jackass of a man. your plan is bad but fuck man who am i to tell you anything

ep6 please tell me jack doesn't know how to be a sailor please please PLEWASE he is so pathetic. "listen... no women" SHUT UP!!!!

anne's stride to that man's neck to get him to spill the beans about the gold. her voice and eyes. i love you strange angry violent bisexual woman. god. you know. trauma !

thhhe fucking shadow work when small scared traumatized anne lifts her gaze to max. oh the shadow in that. MAX'S VOICE.... MAX PROMISING TO. PROTECT ANNE?? at some cost i bet.... BUT ANYWAY????

i love the fact that jack is just compleeeteely not scary intimidating or physically impressive at all. wet blanket of a man but at least he's got a brain (?) and a heart ???

ep7 max standing up for anne, both of them owing so fucking much to the other. i love how much authority max has...

oh its sooo fucking delightful how silver and flint are just. thick as thieves, suddenly, i love to fuckin see it. OK NEVER FUCKING MINDDD LMAO. but theyve still got that rappor!!! like!!! cant get rid of the other fast enough. or at all!! no matter what! tied at the ankles together!!

oh. thank. fuck max hugged her. ohh my god... and [the other lady] was so .. idk whats going on exactly but how kind of her to . come and usher anne out of the situation. you dont need to be doing this. go. HHHNNN

silver telling max about the gold >:) MAX'S SMILE. ILOVE HERRRR

hyiiii EWW THE ENDING OF THIS EPISODE... EWWWWW

ep8 "please go with him, so he doesn't get himself killed" ".. oh for fucks sake.."

the power that silver holdddds. ooohhhhhhhhh

wait HOLD UP. ? DID :) did flint kill hamilton's father for putting him in an asylum (??) am i reading this girl's tale correctly..

"for if anyone is responsible for what happened that day, it's, Me." ma'am. ily

oh god oh lord. the birds of prey over the fort. has vane Really just murdered 40 men ON HIS OWN.

ALRIGHT. YEAH. WAIT. NO. I FORGOT ABOUT THE NASTY UNPLEASANT VIBE OF THE LATEST EPISODE LOL <33

FUCK charles vane i HATE THIS BITCHHHHh EVERYTHING IS SO FUCKING DIFFICULT ALL OF THE TIME

ep9 "footrope. bitch of a spot"

"you idiots are the fucking riggers of this ship" AHSDHFJKH

oh but i thought there were two ships. one in charlestown and one at nassau. and that vane's men would yknow. be in Nassau. cuz how did they get into charlestown THIS QUICK ?

i know it's main character syndrome but man oh boy is silver good at keeping himself alive

"where are we going?" "to execute the third option"

i hate that anne has to kill :( but it is also so fucking sexy that she is so GOOD at handling a fight

fuuuuck eleanorrrrr,,, GRRRR

tjhe lingering hand hold with anne and max.... AUUUGH

the LOVE. that miranda and flint share for thomas is SO FUCKING WILD TO ME WHAT A POINT WHAT A POWER. ????

OH . SHHHHE. FUCKING. DIES??????????? JUST LIKE . THAT????????????

john's smug ass grin when vane says theyre saving flint... whaaaatttt

NOT THE AVALANCE ??????

ep10 "like we was two halves of the same thing""i can't be your wife, jack"[A TEAR FROM JACK'S EYE]"but you and i are gonna be partners til they put us in the fucking ground" HET! RIGHTS!!!!!!!!!!!

john seeing how the crew starts rising up for him.. oh the power. oh the power is DELICIOUS.

"everyone is a monster to someone. since you are so convinced that i am yours... i will be it"

"what do you suggest?" "that we remind them that they were right to be afraid" FLINT!!!!!

"where are his keys, and has he seen them since he took me away from my men" BRO. JOHN!!!!!!

oh flint is. fully gone :) kill my lover kill my wife i've HAD ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the fear the genuine guttural fucking FEAR at john's voice over the state of his leg . the crew all around him. oh this is. OH THIS IS.

point of no return.

"would you like to see something shiny?" PIRATES!!!!! WOOOO YEAHH

MAX AS THE SEASON'S FINAL FRAME ILYSM

s3

ep1 TEACH!!

"any capital sentence against a pirate would hear my answer" he's an avenging angeeeeel. OF SOME SOOORT

haircut and facial hair to show that time has passed, yes, i see

"this crew has spilled a great deal of blood to make your name what it is. it doesn't belong to you" WOW

oh. Oh! alright! jack you piece of shit huh! vane i'm sorry for my very mean words (still deserved, but you know, people, being human, piracy)

"take this, and leave me be" max.....

"jack, if i thought it gave you any pleasure, i would've killed you the moment you suggested it" goddamn. goddamn these two. fucking fuck.

season three poster kicks ASSS

ep2 "lovely. good old jack gets buried beneath a pile of rubble while you two begin a well-funded life of leisure"

"i am here in part to ensure my own future, i will not apologize for that" max you deserve eeeveeerythiiiiing

sjhaking jack and max in a bottle grr GRR they both love anne GRRRRRRRRH

"this is the second time in the last few months im facing certain death, and you are again offering moral support" "does that mean we're married?"

oh . oh :( john having to witness and hold this guy through as he's helpless and fucking drowning before his eyes. fuck tthis fucking SHOW!!!!!

i love how much this all. Affects john. he's so fuckjing sad to lose yet another of his brothers.

"just how fucking stupid, exactly, are your men" "... it's hard to say"

"... like fucking rodents, preparing for the winter"

flint's nightmares in this... ough. miranda... HAUNTING

oh fuckyes the becalming be upon us. IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS.

ep3 "no, i think we should feed some of the men and not, others" dfhjk flint flint flint flint this is FUCKED UP. BUT WHAT ELSE CAN YOU DO???? AS CAPTAIN!!!!!

jack's "[whistle] that's enough. you, sit down" charming charming guy

"though might be you're the only one who actually made a career of it" jack and anne and jack and vane and hdsfdbkjbvkvj what is this do they even like each other is this old friends is tHIS ABOUT OLD FRIENDS ???

"i think it's torture for him. and i think the only way he can imagine it stopping is when there are no more of us left to witness it" john's insight into flint.... why is he so clever about this man. huh!!!

the ghosts hunting flint❤️ oh christ i cant do this . fucking trauma. fucking piracy. fuck this noise. FUCK!!!

"if you're not strong enough to do what needs to be done, [then] i'll do it for you" flint. my man. is this a love confession (fuck no it isnt but also HM)

oh shit, oh fuck , anne and max fucking love each other. FUCK. "you should stay. to see it divided evenly" ".... i trust you" AH! HOLY! SHIT!

"i'm one of the two men who've been on full rations for the last few days. you're the other. let's go" YAY AT THIS DYNAMIC. YAY AT TRYING TO BECOME WHAT HIS BEST FRIEND AND WIFE WERE TO HIM. YAY AT THIS ENTIRE TRUST-BONDING EXPERIENCE :)!!!

fight me or kill me "or acknowledge the fact that you and i would be a hell of a lot better off as partners instead of rivals" HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!

ep4 the men shouting and lying and demanding shit outside the fortress, appealing to jack, trying to get to vane. jack point-blank shooting the guy❤️ oh my god.

fuck yes retribution by enslaved people <3 oh man. where is this going to Fucking Take Us. ethically choppy waters, black-n-white thinking, i dont fcking know

jack is . so focused on leaving a legacy...

"how much?" "... mmh !"

"i was just gonna say 'i'll see you soon', but that would probably be a lie, wouldn't it?"

"i hate to be the one to say it, but is it possible we've all missed the point of that story? they all Died."

flint and john's epic fatherhood over billy ahljsdf:djflgk

"she will not let us leave this place alive" and good for her for that

MISTER SCOTT LOVE OF MY LIFEEEEE LIGHT OF MY DAYSSSSSS YEAH YEAH !! YEHAW!!!

oh fuckers and shitheads you did not just . shoot at him. did you. im going to eat you

ep5 "so i might oversee the survival of both places outside the scrutiny of either" mr scott.......

"you should know, people do not speak to me that way anymore" max you deserve the moon and the stars. eleanor get the fuck outta here...

h e r  v o i c e  w h e n  s h e  s a y s  a n n e

scott smiling so fucking gently softly at his wife and THEN HIS DAUGHTER OUGH MAN HE'S SO..!!!! flint i swear if you fuck this up. if you get a knife on her im gonna [jsdfhmgjkfjngj]

"strange how little separates us" :( vane and that dying spanish dude talking...

"it's awful, isn't it. how the money makes sheep of us all"

max demanding herself a seat and a future. god i love you.

"and yet for some reason, right now i am bothered by it" the flint fucking curse i see

HE LEFT THE KNIFE!!! HE LEFT IT!!! THE CROWD GOES WILLLDDDD

"bring down nassau. maybe you bring it all down"

jack and his name..... ohhhh brother.

ep6 "in a few hours time, there's a good chance you're going to look awfully smart"

jack so angry and peeved and hurt-of-pride bc that english dude got the city to work and he didn't... ouhh the pride. OH WHY ARE YOU HERE YOURE GONNA GET IN TROUBLE.....

"no one prepared you for this, did they" ah the similar fates "but i know how"

"but it cannot be borne if you cannot stand"

"please understand i'm quite particular about my library"

"to have been a partner to him in this way" the homoerotic subtext mmmhh-hm!

"you don't think i can convey a thought to Anne comprehensible only to her? a thought as simple as 'run'?" ;_; BRUH,,, he's ready to . Not let Nassau be 'english' and for anne to have a chance out NO MATTER WHAT THE COSTTTTT

"english it will not be" or however the quote went..... badass... fuck yehaw.....

scott and his daughter ,,, scott continues to be so. fucking loving father to her despite the great gulf between  them :( MANNNN

FUCK! ROGERS!!!!!!!!!!!

ep7 jesussss this plan is big and dangerous🙂

yes yess YES YES YESSSS THE DAUGHTER GETS ON THE BOAT!!!!!!!!! please tell me her name next. ffs.

billy taking her hand and helping her onto the ship COOL SHOT !!

".. but this battle is ours as much as yours. my word and your will govern in consort or not at all. and when i'm not present, that word shall be given by my daughter" POWER TO WOMEN!!!!!!!!

"we're all villains in nassau. don't think cuz youre new youre any different"

fuck :) now they gotta give jack as well as the gold. max is so pissed abt this. she gave anne her WORD.

i love that she had power and say over white men now. btw. love this flavor.

HER NAME IS MADI. BTW. THANK YOUU

"i understand this is the place cowards come to beg forgiveness from a king"

"captain flint is dead" "not anymore he's not" HE GOT BETTER

ohhhh ffffuuuuuck did silver just. kick glasses-guy's head in with his peg leg. ohh Brother.

"my name is john silver. and i've got a long, fucking memory"

flint coming to ask silver "are you alright?" after this all :)c not to be annoying. but im gonna be annoying. these two fucking guys <3

flint talking about both miranda and thomas this episode i love bisexuality

"... and spiteful to anyone who would find.. Happiness, under her rule" AFTER REFERRING TO THE FACT THAT BOTH THOMAS AND MIRANDA WERE KILLED FOR THE FIGHT FOR THE PARDONS ETC. WOW!!!!

vane and jack and anne and max polycube of all time. at this current moment just the three of them at all actively but it still stands.

ep8 anne and flint discussing routes. vane is there too. vane is playing with some tea cup. gets his finger slightly stuck on the ear--

"don't despair, some other poor bastard'll take my place soon enough" jack..... the RAT......

"there's a whole world out there, that ever so often rewards ambition"

"this does not seem like release"

"one waits for mr de groot to finish speaking, frowns thoughtfully, and then repeats phonetically what he said to the men"

"the depths of my ignorance on the subject" oooh yes. oh YES. learning the job. ON THE FLY.

he and madi have an interesting thing going on :) they should be friends i think

i really dont care for eleanor anymore. like good for her for girlbossing her own way but ohhhh stay away from max thaaaanks

ok sorry yeah i do like it when she's cussing men out its good its fantastic

the fucking spiderweb of people and relations and ideals and pride and trust and power and dsshfkdjfgkj

"for reasons passing understanding, mr dobbs still has a number of friends on this crew" fuck dobbs but FUCK this line is funny

madi :(....

jack is the son of a long line of tailors omg...

"but jesus did i make up a lot of ground to catch you"

anne clambering into the wreckage to kiss jack square on the lips hello............ "ow" HELLO

vane jack and anne "right behind us" vane's INSANE fucking stare at flint as he says "yeah" GOOD STUFF

i mean im not trying to sell the polycule but uuuhhhhoooohhhgh vane helping jack out of the carriage.. that hold is GOOOOOODDD

vane's NOT ABOUT TO FUCKING DIE RIGHT NOW. IS HE. I JUST STARTED TO LIKE HIIMMMM

ep9 "charles vane's death is inside that box. along with my good name. along with her lost love. along with your late quartermaster's life." holy fucking shit speak UP jack oh i LOVE THIS. oh my godddddd

"that, or he doesn't know how to say no to the both of us at the same time" flint and silver parents of all time

"... it could be catastrophic" "HE KNOWS." JOHN'S FACE HEREEE

"if you have something to add you should just fucking say it"

"i can't tell if this was a warning, or a welcome" WELCOME!!!!!! WELCOME TO H E L L ! ! !

madi hugging john OH GOD. OH THE . GHRGHGGRHG THERES A TRUST!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"get on with it motherfucker" oh fuck me i really like vane actually. he's not gonna fucking DIE, HAHA, THAT WOULD BE . WRONGGGG

huh. well this fucking hurt actually. gol d roger ass move btw. FUCK THIS SUCKS ACTUALLY!!!!!!

jack taking on vane's mantle . my teeth are gonna be ground clean off with the way im clenching my jaw right now. fffuck me this episode was pretty rough after all

eleanor guthrie youre a fantastic character i hope you also get whats coming to you❤️

hello mr teach and your sad little camp.... dad's about to be fucking furious about a certain someone's hanging.... "what do you want to do about it?" and the movement of his eye.... GIRL WHAT DO YOU THINK HE WANTS TO DO ABOUT IT

ep10 "the irony wasn't lost on either of us"

"but the one in whose name this war is to be fought... it is still a stranger to me" oh Words. also flint's stare in this moment mmmmmwah!!

"and given how much we have sacrificed to earn this battle, how can we do anything other but to see it through. my friend may have given his life to earn this battle"

flint sacrificed fifty of his men in a senseless massacre just to entice the english to chase after him.......... bitch this fucking MAN.

blackbeard coming to avenge his SONNNN and also jack closing his eyes to take in the news of charles' death oh my GOD

he is. so righteously PEEVED at eleanor over what happened to charles oh my god.....

BTW really very good hair insp from jack here. around 19minutes to the ep

"... once our relationship had been exposed, defiled, scandalized... everything ended"

"england was broken, and that sooner or later a good man must resist it" BRO. BRRRRROOO

flint's voice and face during this conversation haHa. haha ha ha. Ha., huh.

john..... partners and trust and dying 'for' flint ghngrhg

"there may be no one in the world closer to you than i am" THIS IS . INSANE. INSANE!!!!!!!

"i think he feels shame. for having disappointed me. and a great need to redeem himself in my eyes"

"but among them is the sincere confusion as to why charles invested any time and energy in you" BECAUSE THEYRE FRIENDS!!!! DAMNIT!!!!!!!!!!

"there wasnt any more to that thought, was there" JACK YOU LOSER....

"to be underestimated is an incredible gift"

"someone better suited to do what must be done" madi's so fucking cool and i would lay down my life for her .

"see you on the other side" "always." fuck will and elizabeth actually these are my emotional support straights (not straight). also jack just called charles their brother im going to dshfjkdbgjkhjhklfdg

oh i love comedy. blackbeard's ship getting shot at and jack faltering in his step, while Teach. Literally Just Stands there. giving him the eye. Jack trying to gather himself. lmao

"TELL YOUR GOVERNOR. YOU TELL HIM I'M COMING" YAAAAYYY

"but in terms of out future and the danger that you believe you may pose to me, bear this in mind. I've survived starvation, a tempest, pirate hunters, jealous captains, mutinous crews, angry lords, a queen, a king, and the goddamn british navy." the rest of that quote. THE SCENE WHERE THEYRE LOOKING AT EACH OTHER OVER THE BODY OF WATER. WOW!!! FLINT'S SMILE IN THE FLASHBACK. WOW!!!!!!!

"but that name isnt doing anything for us. see about that"

cant fucking describe how insanely fun it is to me that the crew at nassau are creating a myth, a man out of thin air, to serve as the poster boy for their efforts or whatnot. this is the Neatest fucking thing. WHAT the hell.

best fucking thing to have max be in these season finale final shots so often

THE LETTER. MADMEN, RICH MEN, TYRANTS AND KING. THE TABLE!!!!

s4

ep1 "if it makes you feel any better, i havent considered killing you in months" aw he cares ❤️

also hhhiiiih the opening sequence underwater stuck in that ladder thingie :) yikes!!

MADI HOT AS HELL.

"today there will be vengeance for the death of charles vane" JAAAACKKKKK

THE REVENGE :)<3

oh that was. a nasty fucking trick, the barricade whatever. oh fuck me.

OH FUCK MEEEE flint i cant believe you'd leave silver on his oWN OH NNNO. and madi's reaction as well oh no....

"i dont know. got to make this" girl this is . So.

im still wondering about max and eleanor's roles in all this. who will max side with. No one? herself. is eleanor actually This, Now. after all That? shes the most selfish mf (honorific) that im finding this all Very difficult to swallow

flint telling madi how it seems that silver and her have become 'friends'.... "he is my friend, too" i see. I See.

MR. FEATHERSTONE DO NOTTTTTTT TRIFLE ME RIGHT NOW. BE. FOR REAL.

no no nnno not mister de groot :(

"there will be no pirate King here. of that much i am certain" GO GIRL!!!!!!!!! I SUPPORT THIS

ep2 "i gave you a life, and you repaid me by conspiring with my enemies" MAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh NO???

aah, good ol sexism on the high seas. whats teach's fucking issue with anne.

madi has the fucking, CLASS and SWAG of a chAMPION. TALK BACK TO FLINT MORE!!! ILOVE THIS FLAVOR

israel fucking hands lmsjkdfglfk i fucking knew it was fking waiting for the name to drop i cant fucking, believe this

i love this, when john is spinning this tale about himself, i dont know if he believes any of it himself, whether he's so deep in the lie just to get out of a bad situation, is this where his heart actually lies. i love this. myth of a man. "now i am here". like some goddamned god

"at a certain point there is a good chance he'll just decide to kill you than take your no for an answer" "he can try" anne loml loml loml

"now that we're here, it'd be so easy. and i don't wanna do it"

[looks at the camera] oh. i Love Infighting.

"someone who shared anne's mistrust of sentimentality" anne and charles bff's for REAL.....

oh fuck off fuck me, teach's memory of charles and that bird and what it might mean, "dinner" fuuuuck meeeeeeeeeeee this FUCKING gUY

max is so tired of this fucking situationnnn but she has some sense of moralityYYY oh my god this tangle of WEBSSSS

john just lost a friend in max :(

ep3 max's voice when she's angry... loml

"the empire survives in part because we believe its survival to be inevitable. but it isn't. and they know that. that's why they're so terrified of you and i" flint and madi bestfriendism arc begins Now

wait this occurred to me out of nowhere as jack is pondering about his future status and whether he's gonna be blackbeard's equal one day. oh are these daft bastards all doomed by the narrative. cuz of the history thing. idk  what happened in nassau, historically speaking, but is this whole entire endeavor gonna end Bad for them. oh no. OH NNNNO

madi YOUR EYES. OH THE TEARS

"do i need to run?" "that'd be fun for me to see. how would you do it?" "with great difficulty, i imagine"

this episode is paced and shot in the most . bizarre fucking manner. why does this look and feel like a relationship drama or a cheap version of one.

"i did not fail to do it. i refused to do it and would again"

teach offering that shithead rogers a tight lipped smile while he's captured. ok blackbeard you have rights

oh. oh they fucking killed. huh. teach is fucking dead, then. fuck rogers fuck him entirely what the fuck is this dudes deal

ep4 flint saying "our shared authority" like a . fucking confession. oh my God.

"a lot of them end up that way too. though i admire your optimism" AND THE WAY FLINT LOOKS AT HIM. THIS IS INSANE ON THE BRAIN

silver's personal vendetta against billy. <3 flint and silver sharing the mantle of Captain(tm) <33

"i think we all agree that it helps none of us to have those idiots armed to the teeth" "... yeaH"

this john billy flint + max conflict is so interesting. oh my god it's so . HM!!

"any man" "absolutely -- absolutely not" LET ANNE FIGHT FFS !!!!!

"anne get up" her hands. fully open. bleeding down to the bone now,

JACK JACK JACK MY BELOVED RACKHAM

"that i would have had to live with it" max is not a killer ohhh she's got the sensibilities of a human-person still when everyone else is ready to reign bloody murder upon anyone who crosses them ohhhhhhhhh

"do i need to be concerned that you took almost two hours to tell me about it?"

i know i know i know its about miranda (and thomas) but mostly miranda i know i know but fuck man fuuuuuuck when john tells flint that madi is the person who makes him the most vulnerable and flint is spacing out after it. dude. FUCK. but also uhhhhhh UHHHHHHH this could be. Bad❤️ flint is. NOT a good person. HHHHHHH

"wouldn't you trade it all to have thomas hamilton back again" HUUUUUUUUUH ? OH I DID NOT EXPECT US TO GO /HERE/ ACTUALLY

the way flint's face is twitching. sir toby stephens THANK YOU

"i suppose the good news is that's how we'll know we're finally getting somewhere interesting" AND THE SAD SMIRK AT THE END OFTHISSSS

fuck eleanor but the look she grants flint before the gate closes. damn.

eleanor i am sooooooo sick and tired of your shhhhit leave max ALONE <333333

ep5 eleanor's handmaiden lady is quite brave actually, to trust her word and go out to the wolves like this

billy is so. Baffled. this actor is really fun in this kinds of emotion

john trusts flint.... or at least. he is trying to convince billy that he does.....

ok this is Quite fucking fascinating actually. this Quarrel-type a beat between rogers and eleanor

i.... dont,,,, care for eleanor getting all emotional about madi and her mom and mr scott. dude. get real.

LOVE the way flint says "i'm not concerned" in regards to the change in plans (cache, and john)

sucha fucking powerful frame when flint and co. come from that tunnel and madi with her men are there <3

"HE just Said it."

"all it guarantees is we no longer have the cache that we all agreed was Critical" I LOVE THAT JACK IS SO. PRACTICAL AND SMART...

WHERES ANNE.

eleanor's commanding officer or whatever . his face when looking through the looking-glass and max asks him what he sees. priceless.

ep6 yes yes yes madi, stomp on those white girl feelings. FUCK eleanor

"'this deal'? as in the one in which you walk away with all My mOnEy?"

"i did not want this" :-(

"thats the power youve given me" oh, BILLY. YOU SHOT YOURSELF IN THE LEG WITH THIS CHOICE !!!

billy's vendetta against flint, wanting to see him dead...... silver asking him to stop it/be over it...............

max and jack, hm, not friendship necessarily. but the General Understanding between them. at times. yeah.

MAX AND ANNE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"i loved you. and i betrayed you. but i cannot apologize for it" ... "and i do not wish to lie to you ever again" MAX. GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOUR VOICEEEEE

did madi just. fucking die.

oh. shit. did eleanor fucking die also.

everythings. COMING UP, FLINTHOUSE,

flint's face acting once again, now that he's telling silver about the. Hnghn. situation. oh god.

"anyone who can't make it to the beach, i want them carried. i'll not leave anyone behind"

"how can we all have sacrificed so much and none of us has anything to show for it?" oh i get it now i get it . max isthe fucking insightful oracle or smth like that of the series. she's always on all sides and on her own side, selfish and giving and caring and loyal and scheming. oh she. Oh She.

"... and the governor is sitting in Nassau in mY ffFFUcking chair, victorious !!!"

this spat jack and max are having. Oh Man. i revisit my earlier statement. I LOVE THEIR DYNAMIC????

"youre goddamn right i do"

"eleanor is dead, anne is nearly dead, and i want him to pay for all of it dearly" this is not the point but hoooooohhhhmy god if anyone suggests that this woman is bisexual rather than a lesbian im going to [choking noises. but humorously]

oh this shall be. Really Good. <- scene opens of silver lookng Fhucking worse for wear and red-teary-eyed. and flint's opening the captain's door

ep7 "she was curious and strong, not made to be hidden away from the world" THIS SUCKS. SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

flint asking "how are you" from silver...... hngnh. theres something so genuine in his voice in this. and in silver's eyes. oh fuck fuck fuck this

"they call you king, but only in the kingdom that is no more. we're all free men here, and i wish to Stay that way."

MAX FUCKING LOVES ANNE. LOOK AT THOSE LINGERING GLANCES FROM THE DOOR. FUCK!!!!!!!! FUCK ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"you told her to fuck off. she listened" IM SO SAD

jack's funy little breakdown over the whatever-fees like. bruh. this is SO domestic

jack's got the energy of a single father of four, methinks.

"when i was drowning myself over miranda, you helped me find my way out. Look at me. I will do the same for you"

"charles vane was my closest friend in the world" bruh............. JACK....................... BRO!....................

eleanor's grandmother's actor hello hello hello. Hello

hyii vittuuUUU the dead eleanor having moved her gaze towards rogers in his minds eye eeewwwwWW CREEPS ME OUT

"they are strong when flint and silver are united, but separate the two of them, turn them against one another and their world collapses" JESSUS THE CODEPENDENCY THE ISSUES THE . WOW!!!!!!!!!!!

BITCH. BITCH ??????????????????????????? BGIHNTUTDBGJK H:)DFGFNK MADI IS ALIVE?????????????? FLINT WHAT DID YOU . DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i think max is the only character in this show actually. thats what i think actually.

oh fuck Oh fuckkkk silver looks like a drowned cat when he realizes that flint and the queen are not... in favor of. getting madi ? oh goddddddddddddd

".. to divide us like this, i will not permit it,  MADI, would not permit it..."

flint is like. RIDE OR DIE. for silver rightnow about madi. i respect this i like this this feels like an insane person thing in its entirety this is so good to me

"when you and i are of the same mind there is nothing we have not yet been able to do" and then he kinda Smiles. at silver. flint youre Insane.

ROGERS CAN SUCK SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

madi is so fucking through with this shes angry and tired and powerful and everythign and she will also die fighting i Hope this iSnt Foreshadowing🙂

"i mean, how could you be someone who would do that?" aint that thefucking question

"i do it for us. thats how it started. thats how its going to end" DID JACK FUCKING RACKhAM JUST INVENT. LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVEEEEEEEEEE ? ?

"you'll. you know." "i will" bro they. they both love anne like crazy. they dont love each other they kinda despise/respect/pity each other but By Golly Gee God They Both Love This Woman and Will Put Aside All Arguments For Her SAKE

ISRAEL HANDS ARE YOU A LITTLE WEASEL BITCH IN THIS UNIVERSE ALSO!!!!!!!!!?????????

ep8 "right people ... to hold the world together while it finds its balance" "you think so much of what you and i can accomplish together -" "you and her." OH MY GOD????

"i think that you are the best of us" AND I THINK THAT THIS IS A LOVE CONFESSION. UNLESS????

a cold winter's niiiight. HEALING ONE'S WOUNDSSSSS. MAX AND ANNE!!!!!

oh the trust is so fuckingbroken. between max and anne. between silver and flint... jhessus the stare flint offers silver after the cache is revealed. FUCK.

ooooh the lady of the brothel and the lady in waiting and JACK JACK JACK

dads are. FIGHTING.

"but do not ask me to choose between a war, and a wife. i do not think youre going to like the answer"

"... but i demand your support. [...] do i have it?" [LONG ASS BEAT] "yes." HE SAID, YOU KNOW. !!!! LIKE A LIAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"but max refused" BUT MAX REFUSED. BUT MAX. REFUSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"she's a breath away from winning that fight. for whatever reason, she wants to share the spoils with you" IM GOING TO SPILL OVER IM GOING TO DROWN IN A PUDDLE IM GOING TO GNAW ON MY HANDBONES AND TURN INTO A FLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

no no no noNO NO NO!! SHES BEEN FIGHTING THIS WORLD EVERY DAY SINCE SHE WAS BORN!!! DO NOT!!! MARRY HER OFF!!!! TO SOME WHITE MALE DIMWIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

youre forcing her to sell herself again, to be someone else's to belong to someone who does not deserve her nor her affections, to hide behind a white man, im not angry at the show or the writers i am thrilled to witness this fiction but FOR FUCKSSSS SAKEEEEEE THE STORY OHMY GOD!!!!! SHE IS THE CENTRAL PIECE!!!! TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"that... is a Very oldman"

silver still making sure. that no one does harm to flint. he fucking trusts that man. oh i am in so So much danger

"it's a fucking mess out here, come inside" ANNE. YOU AND YOUR WAYS!!!

SHE SAID NO SHE SAID NO SHE SAID NO SHE SAID NO!!!!! I LOVE YOU MAX!!! DO NOT GIVE THEM AN INCH. GIRL YOURE MY EVERY.THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING

"... because i refuse to situate a man in a position where he might interfere one day with my ability to repair things with you"

"you are the bravest ... the truest .... and i betrayed you [her voice breAKS] and it sickens me" IM IN THE FUCING TRENCHES.

"for failing to see there's nothing important that does not include you"

hey yo <3 the hurt and . tears in silver's eyes as he watches flint Fucking betray him. after everything. after all. burrowing mmy head in sand right now effective immediately. i hate this. I HATE THISSS. he's not gonna trust flint EVER again about ANYTHING, and flint is SO. he is SO GOING TO END UP LONELY FRIENDLESS ALL HIS CLOSEST COMPANIONS AND LOVERS AND PARTNERS  D E A D  BECAUSE THEY HAD THE MISFORTUNE OF EXISTING A HAIRS WIDTH TOO CLOSE TO HIM. HATE PREVAILS LOVE LOSES FUCK MY STUPID BAKA LIFE

ep9 "after i just climbed that fucking hill are you being serious right now?" heh. COMEDY.

god the fucking. gentle grins and smirks they share . to let pride get between them... and then they did. let it get there. right. i hate this show (i LOVE THIS SHOW???)

TALKIONIG ABOUT. LEARNIGN HOW TO DEFEAT YOU . :) THE GENTLE SMIRKS CONTINUE OHMYGODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD THIS IS AGONIZING !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"on his own and disadvantaged countless times since i've known him... and here we are"

"i wonder if he knows just how much youve learned from him" ENDME.

we dont know who silver is.

"i'd be forced to hesitate before doing you any harm" hes putting silver in the same line as thomas and miranda.

"no seriously ive got quite a lot riding on this" JACKKKK

is this fucking bitch rogers blaming . MADI. of all people for eleanor death im going to k*ll this man

OK FAIR THE KNITTING NEEDLES CLICKING ELEANOR'S GHOST THING IS PRETTY EFFECTIVE

"i must answer to them" and "MY war." madi. fuckingchrist girl.

"THAT. YOU did." MADI RIP HIM TO SHREEEDDSSSSSS

flint bodily regretting his choice of companion as this guy will not fkcing Shut UP.

FLINT STILL. idk if this is care or plotting. BUT HE DOESNT WANT TO PART FROM SILVER

"that is to say you know my genuine friendship, and loyalty" im. going. to . scream

"can that be enough and there still be trust between us?" IM. GOING TO. SCREAM!

irrelevant to everything going on but my god the way flint is build. i'd like to look like this man thanks! gender OUTTTA the wazoo

THE OLD MAN LEADING JACK JUST FUCKING . DIED????????? NATURAL CAUSES?????? WHY ARE JACK'S STORYLINES ALWAYS COMEDIES IM LOSING MY MIND

THE THREE "mm-hmm's" JESUS

if flint fucking kills joji right now i will not be a happy camper i swear

god fucking fuck.

"it would be preferable to me if we solved this another way" AND WHY DO I STILL BELIEVE HIM!!!!!

"i know you cannot see why this must be. but it must be"

LIKE WAIT A MOMENTTTT silver i love your drive and love for your wife its only right <3 but fooor fucksake madi MADI HERSELF. ON THE ENEMY SHIP. is ACTIVELY SPITTING IN ROGERS FACE AND SAYING yeah whatre you gonna do kill me do it coward AND SHES LOOKING FORWARDDDD. PLEASE GIVE HER THE COURTESY OF DOING THE SAME.

mr de groot. i fucking despise the english.

"i have his true friendship, and so he's going to have mine" bruh.

ep10 ok i said i wouldnt comment on the last ep as i was watching but here me out. i hate that theres no fondness between them, at least not the sort that you(as a watcher?) can Reliably trust upon. its all just politics and selfish wants and needs and the flotsam and dead bodies that happen around you as you strive towards your goal. i hate that i cant trust jack!! and that flint cant trust jack!! and silver cant trust either of them!!! fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

. : D MOTHERFUCKER ALRIGHT !

[bebepac]

Six Sentence Sunday 05.15.22 / Mood Music Monday

That’s probably what I’m going to look like tomorrow powering through my emails after being off a week.  I go back to work tomorrow, can’t say i’m not a little sad.  Wish I could have another week off work.  It’s been peaceful, I haven’t gotten as much writing as I thought I would get done, but it was nice to be on vacation.  

Here’s what I’ve posted in the last week or so:  

A Piece of Heaven on Earth: Part 7: Epilogue

Here’s what I’m working on for you all for this coming week.

Original Post: 05/15/22 at 8:09PM EST.  

Mood Music Monday Submission / Choices Monthly Challenge Submission

Trust Fall Series:  The Blue Honey Cafe The Book: TRR no Royals Pairings:  TRR MC is currently single Status: Still in the writing process Song Inspiration: Diva by Beyonce

When the song ended Riley went into her cooler.  She handed Liam one of the healthy juice drinks she had seen him drink in the office.  

Liam tried not to smile as she cracked the seal a little and handed it to him.

“CEO of Hydration Services is at your beckon call.”  

She had taken notice of his likes and dislikes.  

“I think it’s also snack time too.”

She opened the snack pack for Liam.  

“Did you really buy me a mickey mouse snack pack with grapes, cheese cubes and pretzels?”  

“It’s all the things I’ve seen you eat, and it’s packaged together in one container for traveling convenience. So yes. What would you like first?”  

“Grapes.”  

Liam knew he was perfectly capable of driving and eating, but something about Riley being so attentive to him he loved.  

“Thank you Riley.”  

“Do we get snacks back here too?”  Maxwell asked.

“We can stop at the store for you Max.”

“Even better.”  

While Hana and Maxwell were in the store, Liam glanced at Riley.  

"Are you seeing anyone Riley?"

"Of course, I'm not blind, I'm looking at you right now."

Liam laughed at her joke.

"Cute Riley. I meant romantically."

"Oh, I know what you meant Liam Ryerson. Not currently, but I am taking applications to set up interviews."

"How does one submit an application to be considered if they are interested?"

"Management already has your file Liam."

“When do you think I might be called for my interview?”

“How do you know you’re not already on it?”  

“But how do you prepare for a surprise interview?”

“Management will be in touch Liam.”  

“But...”  

Riley slipped her sunglasses on her face.  

“Management will be in touch Liam.” 

Mood Music Monday / Choices Monthly Challenge Submission

I Choose You Series: The Rotten Apple 🍎 The Book:  TRH and beyond! Pairings: Liam x Riley / Eleanor x Nico (Eleanor x M!OC)  Status: Writing for this episode is complete Song Inspiration:  Devil by L.I.F.T.

“I love my child.”

“You can’t even look at me and say that. Stop lying to yourself Riley. You don’t love her because she has my DNA.”

“YOU TOOK HER FROM US!!!”

"You owe me, I gave you what you needed at the time that Liam couldn't provide."

"I owe you nothing Drake Walker!!!"

“I didn't take her from you, you threw her away. Where is she, Riley?”  

“Where do you think she would be after she murdered two people?”  

“Two people? I was only aware of the guard’s son?”  

“She told you she did it?”  

“Yes, I’m her father. I understand who she really is. Where is my daughter?”

“Liam took her to a psychiatric hospital in Portavira.”

“You really locked her away? She will never forgive you now Riley, she’s liable to kill you with her bare hands if she ever gets hold of you.   But I guess it’s better than a jail cell.”  

“I did nothing to her, it was Liam’s decision to have her committed. You ruined her, Drake.”

“No Riley,  YOU RUINED HER.  She looked like a happy child, until you found out about her. Look at her pictures over the years.  She stopped smiling. I had nothing to do with that. THAT WAS ALL YOU!”

She slapped Drake.

“What happened to you Riley?”  

“You broke me.”

“No, I didn't.  You were already broken before I ever touched you.”

[nexility-sims]

Who is a sim {or multiple} by someone else that will always have a special place in your heart? Thought it was a fun question. Have a good day! 💌 (I saw this ask somewhere else and thought of you instantly!)

ahhh, this is so good !!!! i loved it so much that i had to immediately send it back to you, then also 2781394 other people :^) but, let's see .... i guess i can provide a non-exhaustive list:

i was thinking about coraline first in your story because i do adore her, and she made such an impact the first time i saw her. i can't easily find the post right now, but it's where there's a broadcast going on related to the royal family and she's basically reacting to it with profound disdain. the flow of it was GOOD. that being said, i feel like i want to say phillip right now, actually ! his suffering is very compelling, and he's just got excellent lines from the very beginning to the present that make me like him more as a character. 

this is another case where i had a character in mind and then decided to mention someone else: i love @thegrimalldis' helena for obvious reasons, but i think max is the one whose story i find the most gratifying at this point? like, okay, sure, i love trash kings, there's a pattern here BUT ... not everyone crashes, burns, and comes back from it with grace. the young folks’ lives are interesting and dramatic, sure, but i felt complete when he mended his marriage and got that hug from eleanor yesterday. #welovemax

@funkyllama's entire royal family ??? i will narrow it down: i love imogene and miss lorraine, not in that order.

me and everyone else on simblr dot com is obsessed with @ladybugsimblr's bailey kay !!!!! i just feel like letesha is doing something authentic and special with her as a character, and it looks so effortless. tbh, seeing bk is part of what inspired me to flesh out jered's musical career/celebrity status (beyond my gameplay headcanons from 183984 years ago).

@bridgeportbritt's bria is an ICON ! i feel like i've said this before in a somewhat similar ask, but it's true. brittney is so impressively creative, and bria is just ??? extremely likable. i love seeing what she's up to, whether it's a story plotline or a business venture (hello, modeling competition i got too busy and missed the deadline for).

@vatorelilith's take on lilith vatore is my favorite ! she's the only townie i care about these days, everyone else can hit the road.

everything i've ever learned about @ardeney-sims's casia has endeared her to me. she lives rent-free in my mind these days. i can and will say the same thing about @armoricaroyalty's rosalind, but for wildly different reasons kdjsflfsgfsg

lastly, for now, @simming-in-the-rain has made several characters that happen to live in my story's universe, and i am OBSESSED with all of them. i'm waiting for her to do a big rundown post for everyone so i can reblog it 1389148 times. josefa and nikolai have a special place in my heart, tho, it must be said. let’s all pray for their marriage.

like i said, this is nowhere near an exhaustive list; it's just the sims i thought of while i'm sitting here, sipping coffee, waiting for a meeting to start ... basically, if we interact frequently, rest assured that the sims you put your heart into also have a place in mine. all’a’y’all need to come talk to me about them more often tho >:^( i need to know more !!!!! about everyone !!!!! and i’m a good listener, ask anyone, except for when i leave everyone on read for a week or two

[rughydrangea]

I think I may return to posting, not because I feel better or because anything in the world has become less upsetting, but because I’m quite anxious and stressed and need to let off some steam. Also, today I binged the first eight episodes of Our Flag Means Death, and I want to squeal about it.

But, because I’m a neurotic mess, I feel like before I go wild over the silly gay pirate show (sidenote: due to my age and the media that was popular in my adolescence/young adulthood in the 2000s/early 2010s, I can’t rid myself of the suspicion that somehow the show will refrain from making Ed/Stede canon. Even though they basically already are? But my brain just kind of refuses to accept that it will happen? lmao this is what growing up on spn does to a person!), I need to explain (to whom?) why I dropped the serious gay pirate show lo those many months ago.

I feel bad, because as I posted about on this very website, I did really enjoy Black Sails. But there were a few things that contributed to my decision to stop watching partway through season 3. I’ll start with the silliest, which is that I knew where that season was headed and where Vane would end up and I simply didn’t want to watch it. I’m a baby, but I’m also old enough to know it’s a bad idea to watch things that will give me nightmares. That factor was a huge part of why it took me so long to start the show, and as it got closer and closer, I found that my enthusiasm for the show couldn’t overtake my dread.

But there were other reasons. I liked a lot of the characters, especially Rackham (would I have happily continued watching were it all Rackham all the time? Honestly, yes), but there were some characters I found ruinously dull. Eleanor was the big one, I fear, especially once she was sharing most of her scenes with Woods Rogers. I found myself just spending the entirety of their scenes scrolling through Instagram on my phone, and they were simply too prominent for me to justify watching episodes that I would be fully checked out of for like a third of the run time. I also never could warm to Max the way Tumblr promised me I would--it was a combination of a poor introduction of the character, which made it tough for me to get a handle on her for a while, plus, I’m sorry, that accent never stopped being absurd, I never got used to it, it was just terrible. And then there was all the plot stuff. It’s not that I am anti-plot, but this show just felt so exceedingly plotty, and it didn’t work for me in a way that’s tough to explain, because on paper I can’t fault a lot of it. There was a lot of plot, but the writers were typically careful to ground character dynamics in the plot, but I found the way it all came together, the pacing, I guess, kind of tiresome (and I did have some issues with season 2, as I believe I wrote after I watched it). And also, I didn’t give a shit about that treasure and when I realized that we were going to spend the rest of the fucking show following it around in pearl form, I simply didn’t have the heart to continue. I get that it’s a Treasure Island prequel but I don’t know, I still don’t care about the money!

So, yeah. I respected a lot of the show, and I was sad to say goodbye to Rackham (yes, I could skip through his scenes, maybe I will someday), but ultimately I reached a point where I was dragging my feet so much on watching the next episode that I felt lighter once I decided to just not. This wasn’t an angry break-up by any means, I just am sorry that I couldn’t love the whole show as much as I loved parts of it.

And now.... get ready for some shameless ofmd spamming!

[im-the-punk-who]

Can I ask your opinion on Woodes Rogers?

Oh boy. Oh boy, howdy. I mean you can.

So, uhhhh the first time I was really thinking about Woodes Rogers as a character besides just being a little bitch boy was after I read Sage Street’s meta where he talks about the ways in which Rogers mirrors James in the early seasons/pre-series. And that’s pretty much how I see him. 

(On a side note, while I don’t agree with everything he has to say, I highly highly recommend Sage’s meta because it brings up some really interesting parallels and scenic cues, and particularly the meta on the S3 finale just....makes me scream a lot. Some of the painting stuff can get a bit reachy because as someone who works in theatre and has friends in film, some of the parallels is likely more ‘the set designers thought this would be cool’ than a directorial choice but like, it’s still awesome to see.)

But back to Rogers. So, personally, I think he’s a little bitch boy, but that has more to do with the fact that the show sets him up as the upholder of civilization and oppression, in direct opposition to Flint - who seeks freedom and an end to persecution based on society’s morals and whom I personally vibe much more with. Character wise I actually think Rogers is pretty interesting in that, like all the Black Sails villains, he is a complex character. He is sometimes humorous, sometimes charming, and sometimes straight up unwilling to listen to anyone’s voice but his own - hello, Eleanor! (And, yeah, I’m aware that’s how a lot of people describe Flint. It’s purposeful.) While I don’t like him, I appreciate that about him.

He has a backstory that makes it clear what his motivations are and how he reacts when faced with adversity - he hates chaos and wants order and is willing to compromise his own civility if he thinks it will bring an end to those things. In my personal opinion the reason he wants so badly to bring Nassau back in line could be that he thinks it will help him get over the loss of his brother - who died in a random act of chaos and cowardly violence. (And whose name was Thomas....) Like Flint, he is fighting in the memory of someone he idolized. 

The show underlines the similarity between them when Rogers says “All I have done here is finish what you began. I am now what you were then. And without you there would be no me.” 

Here, he is setting himself up as the continuation of James McGraw. Which is super hella rad, since we know that Flint views himself as at least partially a wholly separate persona from James McGraw. And that we’re led to believe that ‘James’ died or was buried when Thomas was taken. While I don’t think Rogers knows the full story I think it’s likely he has a pretty good picture. I’ll direct you to this post where I bring up the fact it’s likely he and Peter were working together on the pardons(and also because I assume Eleanor told him about James being McGraw as she found out during the Charlestown plotline).

Also:

“Everyone is a monster to someone. Since you are so convinced that I am yours, I will be it.”

“If you insist on making me your villain, I will play the part.”

Rogers!! Stop!! Get your own lines!!

I know a lot of people like to compare him to Thomas, and while I think we were meant to see the parallels(hi, they’re both put in green!), I disagree he is meant to mirror what Thomas would have been. In fact, if anything, he is Thomas’ foil, even as he mirrors James. 

Flint even points out this difference: 

“No one is being hanged. No one’s even being tried. Just as you wanted. Just as Thomas Hamilton wanted. So what is it that you’re fighting for that I’m not already offering?”

“Thomas Hamilton fought to introduce the pardons to make a point. To seek to change England.”

Aside from the classic “I want my Thomas back you sonofabitch.” vibe of Flint’s full answer, this is the difference between Rogers and Thomas. While it would ultimately have the same effect as Rogers’ actions - to bring Nassau back to heel - I think it’s important to recognize the intentionality of both characters as it illustrates not just who Rogers is, but also Thomas.

The reason Thomas wanted to offer the pardons was to make a point that pirates are still men deserving of forgiveness. To “offer forgiveness to any man who would seek it.” He is not coming from a point of control, but of freedom. To offer to these men a way forward.

Rogers is offering the pardons as a way to bring Nassau and the pirates back into civilization but we never actually hear him offer a suggestion of what they’re to do afterwards. And indeed, with how he runs Nassau when he has it, it seems he’s much more concerned with keeping control than in offering any meaningful change to the people he governs. 

Rogers is, in essence, exactly what James was talking about all those years ago when he said “Put a man on an island, give him power over other men and it won’t be long before he realizes the limits of that power is nowhere to be seen. And no man given that kind of influence will remain honest for very long.”

This is underlined in so many ways, from his scene with Berringer about ‘dark men’ to where he wants to accept the pearls he knows are from the Spanish gold, to when he straight up threatens Madi with the death of someone close to her in order to try and force her into surrender.

So, I think he’s a really cool character in that he underlines things about so many of the other characters.

However, Rogers is also a little bitch boy and I hate him because he’s is both a little confused and does not have the spirit. :) 

He is everything Thomas and James were fighting against instilling in Nassau - the very thing Thomas realized isn’t the way a good leader should act. Rogers falls very much under that Hobbesian view of The Social Contract - that a monarch or person in power has absolute sovereignty without needing to give value to individuals needs or wants(literally every interaction he has with Max, hi!), whereas Thomas falls much more in line with John Locke, who says that in supporting the needs of the individual, we support the state by default.

(And I can and will go on another whole tangent about this view of Locke vs Hobbes and how it’s a theme throughout the whole show, I can, I will, please don’t let me.)

Rogers is a fantastic villain for S3 and S4 because he illustrates all the ways that civilization puts down revolution and keeps people in line - right up to how his actions ultimately cause Silver to betray the cause and sell out his own friends for a personal safety that is only marginally implied - and still leaves those on the outskirts oppressed! 

Wow! Black Sails! Stop!!

And even though he as a character was eventually defeated, Rogers’ motives and ideas were actually instilled by the very rebel leaders who fought against him! It’s his treaty Rackham and Silver get the maroons to sign! It’s his version of civilization that is imposed on Nassau and the Maroon island even as he himself is ‘defeated’. 

And isn’t that a kicker? 

That Rackham in particular thinks he’s victorious because they’ve defeated the bad guy, but then he goes ahead and uses his plans, proving that it wasn’t the revolution or freedom or Charles’ idea of living free he was supporting at all but his own personal narrative of victory! What a sellout! What a direct parallel to how even progressive-seeming leaders will almost always sell out the ideals of their constituents for their own benefit! Boy, howdy!!

And I know fandom likes to throw him under the bus as all that is wrong with civilization - call him a little bitch boy and cheer his defeat. I know that he and Alfred Hamilton(and Peter, to an extent) get to be the villains in the narrative so our ‘heroes’ Silver and Rackham and even Flint can be put in opposition to them but like - that’s not the point. That’s not the point, that’s not the point, that’s not the point!

The point is that these men were tools of the empire - tools that were incredibly effective! They succeeded! Rogers succeeded in bringing civilization to Nassau. And in doing so he forced the pirates to choose between their own loyalties - he divided the camps until victory seemed hopeless and that is exactly how history generally works in terms of continued oppression. 

Hell, that’s exactly how current political events are happening right now. It’s a tried and true method of oppressive governments to pin things on one particular person (Woodes, or, y’know, Trump?) and say ‘if you defeat this person, your revolution has been successful’ while silently just going ahead with the plans of those people’s ideals anyway. It’s not the people who are the villains. It’s the ideals they perpetuate. 

All this is to say that I don’t feel particular malice towards Rogers other than that I feel towards all the characters who ultimately uphold oppression because I think Rogers is another great commentary by Black Sails on how we get so distracted fighting for what feels good that we can ultimately end up becoming exactly what we thought we were fighting against. 

(”A man casts his vote for the same reason he does anything in this life. Because it feels good.”)

And finally, he’s definitely a little bitch boy for how he treats my girls Eleanor and Madi (and Max) and I would absolutely cross the street to punch him for that alone. :)

[inawickedlittletown]

What motivates your character? What makes them who they are? Act the way they do and say the things they say? The consistency of those fundamental things that make up a character and that remain in spite of growth...that is a beautiful thing to behold. And for me, I think that’s why I love Black Sails and why all of my free time for about a week went to watching Black Sails and consuming the show like a marooned sailor dreaming of bread and cheese. 

Before watching the show I knew that it concerned pirates and that Flint liked men. I’m glad I knew nothing more about it including the Thomas of it all (although it was easy to guess once we met him). The name John Silver was familiar to me from the moment I heard it, but I didn’t connect it to Treasure Island and I think I’m glad that I didn’t because that would have meant that I expected certain things to happen such as Silver losing his leg and the end of Flint in one way or another. 

I’ll admit that the first few episodes were difficult to get through. In part because of how violent the very first scene is that it’s almost off putting. There’s also a lot of confusion and a lack of exposition. There’s no easy way to actually like the characters at first and there’s also just a lot going on to settle into this both historical and fictional world. Nonetheless, that first episode does a great job at set-up for the rest of the season and the series as a whole. Ultimately, it does a lot to put the stakes of the world and how this life and this world can only work due to the ruthlessness of the pirates, the violence, the anger, and the freedom from civilization that exists in a very tangible way that relies on a balance of power that can disappear at any time. 

I could go on and on and on about each of the characters in this show because every single one is fleshed out and written so consistently well that there wouldn’t be an end to the praises I would write for each of them. So because Flint and Silver are my favorites those are the ones I want to discuss on this first initial post about my new obsession. 

Captain Flint starts off as someone that is not well liked by his men and who doesn’t care about any of that. Instead, his motivation is the Urca de Lima, a treasure so grand that it would change everything for him and for the island. Eleanor asks him why he won’t just take it and run in episode two and this was the moment when I knew that Flint was going to be my favorite character. He answers that he wants peace and to walk so far inland that the sea could never bother him again by referencing Odysseus. This, I’m sure, is a sentiment that not many pirates share and indeed Captain Vane at the start of the series wouldn’t agree with a wish of a future like that. So to want that and to believe that it would be achievable to take Nassau and keep it free from English rule is this grand dream that for Flint means absolutely everything to the point where he would do and sacrifice anything to achieve it. At first, the viewer doesn’t realize the depth and importance of why Flint wants this. 

Flint never changes his mind about this. It is his end goal, the one thing that keeps him going and that motivates his character. Motivation is such a big part of the show not just because it drives character from an external degree, but because it also informs the choices and decisions that are made despite how they impact everyone else. And this goes for every single character and why this show works so well. Everyone has an agenda and they are unwilling — most of the time — to drop it and change or allow themselves to be led in a different direction. Those agendas and the conflicts that arise when characters want opposing things, it’s what makes the plot drive forward in such a well weaved tale. And part of my love for how the series concludes is that Flint ends up allowing Silver’s decision to stand and control what happens to him. 

In episode five, Silver says: “The moment I start making choices based on her decisions I’ve given her a hell of a lot more power in my life than I’m quite comfortable ceeding to a perfect stranger” to Eleanor about Max and it struck me during my re-watch that I had to pause the episode because while Silver is talking about Max, it applies to everyone on this show and how the loss of power and the loss of control on any plan or decision twists and changes by the disregard of those plans/decisions by another character. 

Speaking of John Silver. John Silver is a cocky little shit from the moment we meet him. He’s smart and resourceful and opportunistic and self-preserving. He hides away during the attack on the ship he’s on and it’s obvious that he had no plan, but Silver is quick on his feet and right off the back we know that he is willing to do almost anything to keep himself alive. Can we blame him for that? Certainly not. So, he steals a piece of paper even when he knows nothing about it. All he knows is that it’s important and then he insinuates himself into Flint’s crew by claiming to be the cook. 

The growth and change that Silver goes through over the course of the series is amazing writing because it is gradual and paced so well. After all, he stays for the gold and for the security that the gold will bring him, Silver winds up wanting to stay with Flint and with the crew. Silver’s changes are directly connected to the friendship and bond that forms between Silver and Flint and yet Silver never loses the qualities that we first meet him with and his motivation to stay alive is strong throughout so much so that in the end, he doesn’t want Flint’s war not just to protect himself but because he wants to keep those that he loves alive as well. 

There is quite a tragedy to the show, from the tragic backstory of Flint’s that we learn in season two, to an end that while satisfying doesn’t actually allow the main characters to achieve what they’ve fought for and lost so much for. Yet, there is happiness there. There is the hope of Silver and Madi to get past everything that happened and there is of course Flint reuniting with Thomas. The treasure may have been lost to them and they may not have managed to liberate Nassau, but there is still so much beauty in the struggle and the growth and the end result. 

This show is full of depth and layers, an ocean’s worth of things to analyze and discuss and have so many perspectives on. It is worth watching and rewatching and I’m just so excited to continue my rewatch and continue to pick up on all the things I missed the first time around.

[esoanem]

I.

“Let me tell you a story, about a Spaniard named Vasquez...”

Following this fantastic video essay by Rowan Ellis (contains spoilers for the entire show), I am currently rewatching Black Sails. The first season has a slightly different tone from the rest of the show and, in particular, has a major sexual assault storyline. I know several people who have been put off from watching the show as a result

So, with that in mind, I’m gonna give summaries and content notes for the episodes of the first season as well as timestamps of any scenes with particular content people may want to avoid. Hopefully this information can allow people to either skip those scenes or, read the summaries of these episodes and skip them entirely

Anyway, this post is about the very first episode

Major Content Notes:

Violence: some bloody violence, shot fairly brutally

Wikipedia Synopsis:

John Silver joins Captain Flint's crew as his ship's new cook whilst secretly holding a highly valuable page of the Captain's Log, which he takes from the first cook, who had stolen it from the captain himself. Meanwhile, Captain Flint faces a potential mutiny from his crew and must work to secure their support. The Captain recruits his first mate Billy Bones' help to overthrow the mutineer's leader, Singleton. Meanwhile, Eleanor Guthrie tries to keep order on the lawless island of New Providence conducting her father's business, as the Royal Navy's suspicions of the pirates grow stronger.

There’s quite a lot going on in this episode, with several speeches establishing important themes, because it has to establish all the major players, and most of their relationships, so the summary is actually quite a long (albeit quite condensed from my 8 pages of notes). Below the cut are the timestamps of any scenes requiring any of the major content notes, and then the summary (which includes all the events of the episode)

Timestamps:

All timestamps are from the “Complete Collection” DVDs which includes a Starz logo at the start. Depending on your source, timestamps may vary a little, which is why I’ve included the timestamp for the opening titles. Timestamps are only given for the start and end of scenes featuring any particularly warning-worthy content

06:30: opening titles

56:23-60:30: Flint & Singleton’s fight. The violence here is pretty brutal & bloody, moreso than most of the rest of the series

Summary:

1715 West Indies

The Pirates of New Providence Island threaten maritime trade in the region

The laws of every civilized nation declare them hostis humani generis. Enemies of all mankind

In response, the pirates adhere to a doctrine of their own… war against the world

A merchant ship is attacked by Captain James Flint’s pirates on the Walrus. During the attack, the cook steals a page from a logbook, and ends up barricaded in a compartment with the coward John Silver (below). The cook plans to joint the pirates after the fight, saying a good cook is always in demand. Silver spots the pouch the page is hidden in, causing the cook to draw his sword

The rest of the crew barricade in a separate room, but eventually the pirates break in, defeat them and the pirate captain, Flint (below), gets the merchant Captain to surrender

The quartermaster Hal Gates (below) walks through the merchant ship assessing the prize as the crew breaks down the door to Silver’s compartment, in which he finds the cook dead, stabbed in the back, Silver claims to be a very good cook and asks to join

On the deck, Singleton (below, and also pictured in the background of Flint’s picture) is giving a speech to the captured merchant sailors, appealing to their sense of class consciousness

"Now that the fight is over, you have nothing more to fear from us today. Because we know this fight was not of your making, it was the choice of our true enemy, your true enemy, the tyrant captain. Many of us once sailed on ships like this one, we know what it is to be slaves to his whims, his violence, his shit wages! His insufferable stupidity! So we’ve made for ourselves a different life, where we don’t rely on wages”

The accountant Dufresne (below, note that he is played by a different actor as his original actor sadly died after the filming of the first season) assesses the prize as barely covering their costs and, after four prizes in a row with little profit, Gates is concerned about dissent in the crew, and that Singleton is angling for the captaincy

Flint and Gates appear conspiratorial over the logbook, saying it proves that this is the ship, but Gates quickly spots the missing page, the schedule, without which the logbook isn’t very useful in leading them to the greater prize

“let me see if I have this right. This is the fourth prize in a row from which the profits will barely exceed the expenses it took to win it, Singleton’s out there trying to convince your crew to torture that poor bastard of a captain simply because he hasn’t worked out how to get them to do it to you, but all’s well, because you’ve discovered, that the information we can’t tell anyone we’re looking for, exists on a page, that we don’t have“

A Royal Navy Man-o-War, the Scarborough is spotted (unusual seeing as she’s based in Boston), and the Walrus leaves behind the merchant ship so it can get away

Belowdecks, the Bosun, Billy Bones (above) introduces Silver to Randall (below), who used to be the Bosun before him, before he was beaten to within an inch of his life and “lost his wits, but not their loyalty”. Randall is mistrustful of Silver, apparently because he feels like Silver is replacing him. Billy emphasises the equality of the pirate ship, that everyone should get the same food, including the captain & quartermaster

Gates tells Flint that Singleton plans to replace him, and now has the votes to do so. Flint tries to manipulate Gates into blaming himself, even though the crew’s poor morale is due to Flint’s seemingly poor choice of prizes to chases. Flint says that with a few more days, the schedule could be reconstructed from the logbook, but he’ll need a favour from Richard Guthrie who is responsible for selling all the goods the pirates steal. When Gates is skeptical that Guthrie will help them, Flint says they’ll just go back to normal and pretend none of this ever happened & Gates calls him out for lying

The Walrus arrives in Nassau, and the crew go ashore (below). One of the pirates tells Silver that it used to be English, now it isn’t, and that now it’s “ours”. Gates tells Billy that Flint is going to ask Guthrie for a favour and is likely to react badly when he refuses, and tells Billy to go with him and, when the time comes, restrain him, so they don’t lose Guthrie’s business. As Silver is unloading the cargo, he notices one of the logbooks is not among them and deduces the page must be from the missing volume and is in Flint’s quarters

Silver then gets hazed. He is accosted and told he needs to see Blackbeard, who “meets the new ones, no exceptions”. When thrust into a smoky room he’s told contains Blackbeard, he realises that the person in the throne is not, in fact, the pirate Edward Teach, but rather a prostitute. When he questions this, she opens her coat, revealing a large black bush. The pirates laugh, tell him to yell if he gets lost in there, and close the doors. As Silver is stripped, and has sex with the five prostitutes, he keeps glancing for the page that has fallen out of his clothes

Gates goes to speak to Eleanor Guthrie (below, left), in her tavern. She is introduced berating a captain for being scared of the mere whiff of the Navy rather than going for profit, and clapping back at a drunk pirate telling her to fuck herself. Gates warns Eleanor & her right-hand man, the former slave, Mr Scott (below, right) about Singleton’s plan to take over, and asks for a loan to buy the crew’s loyalty. Eleanor eventually agrees, but Mr Scott chides her, saying that he doesn’t think her father would approve

Max (below), one of the prostitutes from Silver’s hazing pours some tea as he scrambles for the page, which she already found, having noticed that despite having “a whore for every finger on your hand, but your eyes kept drifting to this”. Realising it’s valuable, but that Silver doesn’t know anyone to sell it to, she offers to act as a middle-man, in exchange for half

Gates enters a tent with several of the black pirates and negotiates with the eldest of them, who he knows the rest will follow, to buy their votes. Despite having spent the entirety of Eleanor’s loan on other sections of the crew, he persuades them to side with him in exchange for payment taken out of the next prize. Unfortunately for him, Jack Rackham (below) spots him and tells Singleton that Gates has been buying votes

Silver sneaks into Flint’s cabin aboard the ship with Max waiting in a rowing boat, where he finds the logbook and matches the page to it, but disturbs a feather Flint had left

Meanwhile, Flint has his meeting with Richard Guthrie (below), explaining his plan, how he heard of it, how the logbook confirms his lead, and that he needs Guthrie’s contacts to reconstruct the schedule

“Let me tell you a story, about a Spaniard named Vasquez. A few weeks ago, he staggers into a tavern in port royal, takes a seat next to an English merchant captain. Vasquez, it turns out, is dying, bleeding to death from a knife wound to the belly. The knife wound was courtesy of his former employer la Casa de Contratacion in Seville”

“Colonial Intelligence?”

“Navy, more specifically. One of the top agents in the Americas, responsible for the security of one particular ship, a ship with a cargo so rich, the king of Spain is very anxious to see it launched. Vasquez warned that it was too late, storm season was upon them and no escort could be mustered to guard her, but his superiors demanded that he sign off. They advised him that if he couldn’t arrange for an escort, he should plot a course unknown to anyone but our captain, and consider that route to be a state secret of the highest order. When Vasquez refused and threatened to report his concerns to the court things got ugly. The ship in question? Urca de Lima. The largest Spanish treasure galleon in the Americas. According to Vasquez, total cargo in excess of 5 million dollars”

Guthrie refuses to help, saying that the ship is heavily armed even without an escort, and that even making enquiries would jeopardise his standing with the Spanish. Flint twists his arm and goes to break his fingers, asking Billy to threaten Guthrie with his pistol, but Billy instead aims it at Flint

They hear a commotion outside, it’s the British! Captain Hume of the Scarborough to be precise. Billy, Flint, & Guthrie have all returned to their positions to maintain the pretence of respectability, but Hume isn’t buying it treating us to his pontifications on the relationship between gossip and civilisation, and attempts to take them all into custody. Flint & Billy resist, defeating the Navy men, but Guthrie is shot in the shoulder

“Tell me something, Mr Guthrie. Do you have gossip here?

“Gossip?”

“I’ve often wondered if it can survive in so remote a location. You see gossip is what holds civilisation together. It reinforces shame, and without shame, well, the world is a very dangerous place”

“I’m sorry, I don’t understand”

“Do you know what the gossip is in London about you? The gossip is that you make your profits selling ill-gotten cargo, stolen by the pirates of Providence Island”

Singleton confronts the leader of the black pirates about his change of heart. When they refuse to change back to his side, Anne Bonny (below right) appears together with Jack Rackham and she kills them

Before the leader is killed, Captain Charles Vane (below) comes out of the shadows too

Gates tells Mr Scott & Eleanor that he’s secured the votes, only to be told by one of the remaining black pirates that their leader was killed, and his last words were “Vane”. Eleanor decides to do something about Vane

Jack, Anne, & Vane are drinking in a brothel, and discuss their plan. Singleton will become captain, fail at it, and the skilled hands will then defect to their crew. We also find out that Jack & Anne are fucking. At this point, Eleanor storms in, and punches Vane. He punches her back and then offers her a hand to help her get back up. He follows her as she goes to clean up. She explains that he’s fucked her over, and we find out he used to love her and, despite grabbing her face, he still tucks her hair behind her ears suggesting conflicted feelings about that. She threatens to cut him off from selling goods, but vane points out that her father is the one who buys the goods, and he’ll always choose profits over daughters

Max sees that Eleanor has been hit, and leads Eleanor to her bedroom, hand-in-hand. She correctly guesses that Vane is the one who hit her and, when Eleanor blames herself she scoffs at it. She nurses Eleanor, they kiss, and then have sex

Flint & Billy sail away from Mr Guthrie’s mansion, with his pale, unconscious body. Flint strips Guthrie’s rings & wig, and explains that he plans to hide Mr Guthrie, so as to avoid panicking the crew when they find out their fence is burnt

Billy calls out Flint’s constant lying, and wonders if maybe Singleton is right, and they do need a change. This causes Flint to move aggressively towards Billy, but he puts his sword between them forcing Flint to keep his distance. 

“War is coming, one ship is not the war. When a king brands us pirates, he doesn’t mean to make us adversaries, he doesn’t mean to make us criminals, he means to make us monsters, for that’s the only way his god-fearing taxpaying subjects can make sense of men who keep what is theirs and fear no-one. When I say there’s a war coming, I don’t mean with the Scarborough, I don’t mean with King George, or England. Civilisation is coming, and it means to exterminate us. If we are to survive, we must unite behind our own king”

“We have no kings here”

“I am your king”

Flint tells Gates about Guthrie, and finds out that whilst they were gone, Singleton has called a council to vote on him taking the captaincy. Flint takes a moment in his cabin and, whilst flinging some furniture, notices the feather Silver had disturbed

Taking the logbook to the council, Flint tells them of his plan, and accuses Singleton of having stolen the schedule from the logbook

"I’m sorry. For the short hauls. For the trouble I’ve caused. But most importantly, for the disregard it seems I’ve shown you

“The most important element of a healthy ship is trust. Trust between men. Trust between captain and crew. Without it, a ship is doomed

“For the past few months, you and I have been on the trail of a prize so rich, it could upset the very nature of our world. And for that reason, I felt it necessary to keep it secret

“I didn’t trust you. And that was my mistake. Right now I would like to tell you that prize is within our grasp and we are close, so close. But it would appear that my concerns about secrecy had merit

“Someone on this crew discovered my plans. And tore from this log the very page necessary to discover that prize. Stole it for their own gain. Stole it from us. And then, stoked your resentment to cover his crime, and make himself your captain”

Obviously, Singleton is confused, and protests that he doesn’t know anything about this. Gates points out that this is a serious accusation, thievery being punishable by death, and a false accusation likewise. Per the articles of the ship, Singleton must either submit to a trial (with Gates as judge, who Singleton does not consider would be impartial), or they can settle it by sword

This fight is analysed in a lot of detail by Matt Easton (a historical fencing instructor, well versed in military sabre of the late 19th and late 18th centuries, so only shortly after the period of the show) here (may contain spoilers for later in the show, I don’t remember). Flint has good form, and is clearly well-trained, but Singleton is stronger, tougher, and more ferocious, easily gaining the upper hand

There is some back and forth, with Flint temporarily gaining the advantage, before losing it again, ending up injured and covered in blood. He is finally able to grab a cannonball and smash Singleton on the head, before crawling over him and beating him to death in front of a shocked crew

Flint produces a piece of paper, seemingly from Singleton’s bloody corpse, and offers it to Billy (seeing this page, Silver confirms that he does in fact still have the real page). Billy opens it, sees that it’s a completely blank page, but as Flint coolly holds his gaze tells the crew that it is in fact the stolen schedule

“Friends, brothers, the prize that you and I have been pursuing, is l’Urca de Lima, the hulk, a prize of almost unimaginable value, now with this page securely in our possession, we can begin our hunt, and we will succeed, no matter the cost, no matter the struggle, I will see that prize is yours, I’m not just going to make you rich, I’m not just going to make you strong, I’m going to make you the princes of the new world!”

The crew all cheer whilst Billy, Gates, and Silver, who all know that this page is not real look on in disbelief

Max is called from her room, where we see Eleanor sleeping naked on the bed by Idelle, one of the other prostitutes. She goes down to meet Jack & Anne and, sitting on his lap (which Anne does not like), tells them she has something she thinks they may want to buy

[soiruntotheriver]

(9) In summary, when things get hard, does Silver go back to what he knows: being out for himself, lost in creating his “perfect” life, even if it means losing the person who loves him/he loves, all stemming from his repression in realizing his feelings, in repressing his past, an inability to stand being truly seen, and therefore an inability in being an honest, equal partner?

 Alright, my dude, you’ve got me doing a deep dive on this one haha. I actually went back and re-watched the last three episodes and took notes to sort all this out in my head. Hopefully it all makes sense. This is all about Flint and Silver’s motivations and the actions they take to achieve their goals towards the end of the series. It’s gonna be a long one, so buckle in. As Jack Rackham once said: “Please forgive me, I will go on from time to time, but generally in the service of thoroughness...” I’m gonna post this under the last of your asks, as I believe it addresses most of your points. If I leave anything out please let me know.

Alright so, *crack knuckles* here we go: 

For context: Rackham and Max have gone to create an alliance with Marion Guthrie in Philadelphia, Billy has gone to Rogers to show him how to divide Flint from Silver, and Madi has been taken prisoner. 

Early in episode 8 we get the first of a number of similar conversations between Silver and Flint concerning the war. This one has Silver asking what’s going to happen after their current conflict. He points out that any time Nassau hasn’t had a someone to lead/support it (Eleanor, Rackham, Rogers) it becomes a place of horrors. If this is meant to be a period of transition, what’s on the other side? Something better, something meaningful? He asks:

‘But what if it isn't? What if the result of this war isn't beyond the horror, what if it is the horror itself. Have you given this any thought at all?’

To which Flint replies that to be rid of England and fashion something else, he knows that they will have to go through a period of darkness and seeming hopelessness. But that he has to believe that it will be worth it and that progress is possible. Silver responds by saying that’s a lot of potential suffering to wager on blind faith. Flint assures that with the right people in place they can get through it. He also states that those people are meant to be Madi and Silver, and that Madi is just as important to realizing their goals as the cache.

So Silver agrees to try Flint’s plan to retrieve Madi, but he still brings the treasure along just in case this all goes sideways. And it does. Rogers just starts shooting people willy-nilly which even Flint seems surprised about. Just as Rogers is about to blow Madi’s head off, Silver shows him the chest and next thing we know we’re on our way to Skeleton Island to make the exchange. On the way there Flint yells at Silver about how he’s just given Julius more leverage against the cause and crippled the war effort. Silver retorts by telling Flint that they’ll make do somehow and demands his support in this venture. He points out the numerous times he’s helped Flint even though he didn’t necessarily understand or agree with him.

‘My god. The number of times I have followed you blindly, backed you with the men blindly, put men in the fucking ground…good men! Friends! Because you said, “I know the way. "Don’t ask me how. Just do as I say.”’

Silver asks again if Flint will support him and Flint answers: “Yes.”

Shortly after this we have two great conversations happening in parallel: Silver with Hands and Flint with Dooley. Hands tries to convince Silver that Flint is Bad and must be killed. Silver asserts that he trusts Flint. Hands says that a crown can’t be split two ways and that he knows that Silver actually wants Flint dead, he just doesn’t know how to ask for it. To which Silver responds:

‘Hear me very clearly, there is no hidden message and no equivocation, you will make no move against him, you will not speak of doing so to any man on this crew nor to me again. Do it, and you'll answer for it.’

Meanwhile, Flint is telling the legend of skeleton island to Dooley in order to bring up the subject of men loosing their wits. He asserts that he believes Silver is compromised and so he (Flint) finds himself in need of a new partner. Dooley agrees and they go to fetch the gold, almost getting killed by another crew member in the process. They are saved by Hands who tells Flint he wants them to go ahead and take the treasure so that Silver will see Flint’s true colors. The end of the episode has Silver witnessing this betrayal and deciding to send men out after Flint, ostensibly to kill him, though I think he knew those men were not a match for Flint and really just wanted to find out where he was going so that he could get the treasure back.

In a fit of true diabolical evil, our writers chose to follow up this last scene from episode 8 by opening episode 9 with the first flashback of Flint and Silver’s fencing lessons. I literally said “Oh, no” to myself several times aloud as I watched Silver climb that hill to the bluffs. 

Now these are lovely scenes I could go on about forever, but the most important takeaway for me right now, is that Flint realizes he doesn’t know anything about Silver’s past. Silver says that his past isn’t important. Flint argues that that’s not true. From Flint’s perspective, he’s revealed himself to Silver, given him his history, which defines him, and also the tools Silver needs to guess at Flint’s future actions. Flint goes on to insinuate that Silver wormed his way into Flint’s story by comparing himself to Flint’s former ill-fated partners. That he did this in order to use Flint’s affection for him to make it more difficult for Flint to act against him later. Silver is disquieted by Flint calling his bluff and seems thrown by that last comment in particular, mostly because I don’t think Silver consciously meant to manipulate him that way at all. Flint says he’s not angry with him but Silver is too overwhelmed to continue. He asks if it’s okay if they resume tomorrow, and flees.

I want to revisit the fireside chat here for a moment in order to point out that Silver was, in fact, already very deeply in the story by that point, a story he’d been made a part of largely against his will (by his injury, by Flint’s machinations, by Billy, etc.). In regards to Silver’s motivations during that conversation, I always assumed them to be exactly what they seemed to be: He wanted to understand why Flint was so driven to wage war and he wanted to voice a real, actual warning that he himself might prove to be Flint’s undoing. Flint responds in a way that makes me think he either A. didn’t think Silver would betray him or B. he didn’t think that Silver could get the better of him.

This is an important moment of dissonance between them, because it repeats itself in the sword lesson flashback: Silver asks if Flint is worried about the fact that he’s essentially teaching Silver to best him in combat and Flint waves him off with a smile, saying he’ll take his chances.

The most significant moment within the flashbacks comes when Silver finally finds the words to outline his philosophy and frame his decision not to share his past. I actually think this scene gives Flint all he needs to know about Silver as a person (in terms of being able to anticipate Silver’s future actions), though I’m not sure in that moment he could really wrap his head around it. Knowing the details of Silver’s past are not necessary when you realize that they did, in fact, define him and one can use that knowledge to recognize the ways in which they shape his future decisions.

Silver maintains that he is not trying to hide anything, he merely absolved himself from the obligation of finding any relevance in his own story because there is no coherence, ‘nor sense, nor grace’ to be found in life. But more than that it’s because he’s experienced ‘events some of which no one could divine any meaning from, other than the world is a place of unending horrors.’ He says that Flint knows of him all that’s relevant to be known and swears that Flint has his true friendship. He asks if it is enough for there to be trust between them and Flint, not quite sure what to make of all this, answers by resuming their lesson.

Intermixed with these flashbacks are our real-time scenes, some of which I want to touch on to check in on Silver and Flint’s states of mind. As Silver and Hands pursue Flint in the forest, Hands asserts that he believes Silver will keep finding reasons to forget everyone’s warnings about Flint. He also mentions when Silver tells the men to split up to find Flint that he’s sending at least one group of them to their deaths. Hands makes a point of saying that Silver’s decision here shows that he’s learned a lot from Flint. Aka, Silver is willing to sacrifice other’s lives to reach his own ends. Silver seems uncomfortable with the comparison, likely because he sees the truth in it. Silver’s desire to not be like Flint is very important in the final moments of the show and will come again up later. Silver admits to Hands that he’s not sure if Flint actually wants to save Madi for the sake of it or if it’s just part of his larger machinations. It’s key to note that Silver’s trust in Flint is degrading further. Both because of Silver’s inherent pessimism, and because of Flint’s own actions. 

Meanwhile, Flint and Dooley are doubling back to the chest after having chucked it over an embankment to throw Silver’s party off their scent. Dooley essentially tries to convince Flint that Silver might become a liability. Flint defends Silver but Dooley’s like, yeah, but if it comes to it I’ll kill him for you. The look on Flint’s face clearly shows how not okay he is with the thought of Silver dying, but he keeps his reservations to himself for now. At this point, it is important to acknowledge that neither Silver nor Flint wants the other dead. They are both still trying to outmaneuver each other in order to reach their goals.

Silver finally catches up to Flint which leads us to another Important Conversation wherein Silver states that if the war were to continue it would be just like this, forever - lies, betrayals, death. He also tells Flint that he understands Flint’s motivations more fully now because he’s suffered a similar loss. When Madi was presumed dead, he wanted to give her sacrifice meaning by waging battles in her name. But he says that underneath that desire was the thing that Flint himself taught him to recognize: rage. In a very Miranda moment, Silver tells Flint that part of what drives him is wanting to watch the world burn. This is another way in which Silver does not want to be like Flint. 

After this is a deeply depressing flashback wherein Silver is trying to explain his relationship with Flint to Madi by saying: ‘I have earned his respect, after all the tragedies that man has suffered (...) I have earned his trust, I have his true friendship. And so he's going to have mine. And as long as that is true, I cannot imagine what is possible.’ And all of our hearts break a little to think of what could’ve been. Because, as I mentioned before, Silver no longer believes he can trust Flint and so he no longer has faith in their friendship.

The episode ends with Rogers blowing up the Walrus which puts a hold on Flint and Silver’s duel and forces them to ally once again with Rackham. Flint makes a little speech about how their priority is to rescue Madi and tells Jack he’s taking over command of the ship to facilitate that end. The next episode starts with Silver questioning Flint’s motives, sure that he’s only placating John whilst continuing his scheming. Flint throws him by offering a very candid and heartfelt reply about how he isn’t sure he wouldn’t have acted exactly as Silver had if it were Thomas’s life on the line. He states that he meant it when he promised he’d see John through this and still wants to put things back together. Silver is visibly torn over whether or not he believes what Flint is saying.

Alright, we can now fast forward to the Final Confrontation. Flint, realizing that something has passed between Silver and Jack that smacks of betrayal, halts their trek through the woods in order to question Silver about it. Silver can’t bring himself to lie. He asks Flint how much more ‘measuring of lives and loves and spirits’ there will be ‘so that they may be wagered in the grand game. How many casualties can be tolerated for the cause, how much loss?’  So it’s not just Madi’s life he’s concerned for, not just his own or Flint’s. He mentions the men, women, and children who have already died for this, who will continue to die for this. And he cannot see where the line might be, because Flint has yet to draw one - this is a man who frequently endangers himself, killed his best friend, sacrificed crew members, murdered innocent civilians, and has no qualms betraying his allies. I think Silver legitimately believes that Flint will stop at nothing. That’s why it’s not a war to Silver, not like any other, instead it’s a ‘fucking nightmare.’ 

When Flint insists that Silver stopping the war will mean that they will have been for nothing, that this is how the powers-that-be win, that they’ll be distorted to fit false narratives, Silver asserts that he doesn’t care. I personally don’t find this surprising at all, given how little Silver cares about his own personal narrative. I also don’t think that Silver Doesn’t Care At All, it just means that he doesn’t care enough for it to change his mind. I mean he’s lost a leg for these people, risked his life and freedom for this cause, allowed himself to be molded into a better partner for Flint. When Silver opened himself up to a partnership/friendship with Flint and later to a partnership/romance with Madi, he was choosing to allow meaning back into his life. He became a part of a story. But he’s not totally invested in the story itself. He’s mostly just invested in the people in it. Because what does it matter what strangers say after he’s dead? Life up to this point has been about grabbing onto whatever you can in the moment and enjoying it until it is inevitably taken away from you. Experience has relentlessly taught him to have low expectations. So while I think he cares about his relationship with Flint, is proud of what they were able to achieve together, would like to change the world for the better, and wants to be worthy of Madi, none of those goals/states of being are as achievable to him in this moment as ending the war. 

I’m not sure that Silver believes that a “good life” with Madi is possible after this - Flint points out that she won’t forgive him for taking the war away and I think Silver knows that’s true - but he’s willing to go for some kind of reconciliation at least. I also don’t think Silver is factoring a post-conflict relationship with Flint in at all - as far as he’s concerned either Flint will be safe somewhere far away with Thomas or Silver will be forced to kill him. 

This leads us up to the ending. I personally don’t believe that Silver killed Flint. I feel that’s an important distinction to make when trying to make sense of Silver’s decisions. I won’t go into all the reasons I believe this, in the interests of keeping this thing under ten thousand words, but I will mention a few. 

Firstly, as I mentioned above, I think that Silver honestly didn’t want to turn into Flint. When Madi say she thinks he’s lying about not murdering Flint, Silver says that he’s not the villain she fears he is, he’s not him. I think this is in reference to Flint killing his friends to further his goals. I also believe that Silver thought that giving Thomas back to Flint was the key to Madi’s forgiveness and so I think he would have done it for real in case she ever checked up on it. However, I do also think that Silver embellished the story of Flint’s reunion with Thomas. What parts were true and which were false, who can say? He just sounds like he’s dressing up the story a bit, both for Madi’s sake and for his own. 

The second main reason why I think Silver’s story checks out actually involves Rackham. Jack tells Marion Guthrie that Flint has retired. Why would he lie about that when telling her Flint was dead would more thoroughly assuage her concerns? He mentions that Flint retiring was a better story to sell the Maroons, but at this point, the treaty has already been signed, so why keep up the fiction?

The third and most tenuous thought I have about it is that Silver uses his “I’ll wait a day, a week...” etc. line on Madi because it actually worked previously on Flint. Maybe some of Flint’s anguish in the woods is over the fact that he’s going to do what Silver’s asking him to do. Maybe he doesn’t want Silver to have to kill him so he gives in and gives up his war.

In conclusion, and to answer one of your questions directly, I think that characterizing Flint as someone who just wants to sate his rage is just as limiting as characterizing Silver as someone who just wants to take the easy way out. And I think that saying that Flint’s motives for reforming the world were noble is as incomplete as saying that Silver just wanted to save the ones he loved at the cost of everything else. All of those things, and more, are simultaneously true. 

For me, Flint and Silver were both bad men and good men. Both had room to grow. Both made choices for each other. Both manipulated each other and made mistakes. Both were forced to make quick decisions under enormous amounts of pressure. They were both angry and afraid and courageous and loyal and deceitful and kind. They were both very very human. 

It might not seem like it, but I’m more of a Flint irl. Maybe that’s why I’ve tried so hard to understand Silver, because his motivations were a bit more foreign to me at first. I’ve come to love and sympathize with both of them - which is why I continue to talk about them incessantly and devour fan works - especially the ones that get these two to finally work out their issues. If you’re ever looking for fic recs, btw, please do let me know. A lot of this meta is fleshed out beautifully in fan fiction. And those authors say it more profoundly and elegantly than I could ever hope to. 

[laufire]

In depth fandom ask: the last fandom you joined bc I can't remember it now

Well, I guess the last fandom I’ve properly joined --making a few edits, starting yet-another-WIP etc.-- is Black Sails, so. Plus I want to talk about it a little, spoiler-free, in case you decide to watch it ^-^ (I’ll leave that to the s3 post I need to finish...).

Top 5 favourite characters: Max is my number one, without a doubt, and of the rest of my faves Silver has an edge... but the remaining positions are a tough fight between Flint, Jack, Madi and Miranda, and I honestly can’t choose DD:

Other characters you like: Mr. Scott, Anne, Idelle, the Maroon Queen, Billy, Eme, Abigail... This show has a lot of great characters tbh.

Least favourite characters: I still loathe Peter Ashe with every fiber of my being. Alfred Hamilton is obviously The Worst(TM). And though it hasn’t grown into hate (yet), I don’t like Woodes Rogers one bit ¬¬

Otps: Flint/Miranda, and the combos in Flint/Madi/Silver and Anne/Jack/Max (in no particular order at the moment because I just HAVE TONS OF FEELS ABOUT THEM ALL).

Notps: I don’t have strong NOPE feelings towards anything, but I’m not into Eleanor/Max (which is a dynamic I actually really like BUT that I’m glad it doesn’t return to shippiness LOL); Eleanor/Rogers (I might be indifferent towards Eleanor most of the time but I haaaaaate Rogers for her. RUN GIRL), Flint/Vane (booooooooring).

Favourite friendships: Max & Silver (THE duo I swear), Jack & Max, Flint & Silver, Idelle & Max (I might not have said so before but I guess I like a little conflict LMFAO), Billy & Flint (NOT a friendship, but their relationship absolutely cracks me up I swear. “Who’s Billy?” XDDD).

Favourite family: Madi’s family, which is all I can say without getting spoilery. I just. *lies down on the floor overcome with emotions* xDD

Favourite episodes: the problem with binge-watching (okay, I’ve taken s3 more slowly but) is that they all kinda blur together LOL. Hmm. The season finales are all *chefs kiss* so far (sometimes in a very painful way... I’m looking at you s2. Though the ominous Flint/Silver moments in the s3 were A LOT too); any in which I get to see Max & Silver scheming together ofc. And the first handful of eps in s3 were particularly enjoyable to me because I was drowning in PURE ANGST and Flint & Silver feels xDD (I can’t NOT believe the fandom seems to call one of those “the shark date” asñldfjasdfñl).

Favourite season/book/movie: oof. I honestly can’t pick; s1 is probably the “least” because the others include better moments for some of my secondary faves, and because there’s a plot that’s really hard to watch... BUT it has things on it I adore to pieces too. s1-2 doesn’t have Madi (major drawback xD), and s3 is after one of my faves’ death... but frankly they’re all neck and neck so far.

Favourite quotes: “I am ruined over you” always comes to mind DD: “Liked is just as good as feared”; Max combo with Eleanor about sand (typing that down made me think of Anidala LMFAO. The scene itself is very different though! xD) in the s1 finale; “in another time, in another place, they would call me a queen”; “this ends when I grant them my forgiveness, not the other way around”, Mr. Scott’s “No. Only YOU.”... honestly, this show’s dialogue is just too good(TM), I could just quote it all back xD. And of course, I HAVE to mention “WHO’S BILLY”. It’s the law.

Best musical moment: the score is perfection all around, but given that I never skip the intro just to listen and watch it... yeah, the intro xD

Moment that made you fangirl/boy the hardest: well, I *might* have lost it the moment CAPTAIN FLINT COMES OUT TO LONG JOHN SILVER OVER A BONFIRE, IDK XDD

When it really disappointed you: the fact that I won’t get to see a fully fleshed out Mr. Scott-Silver dynamic is MAJORLY disappointing, let me tell you. That Flint’s actor didn’t somehow get his mother (aka Maggie Smith aka Professor McGonagall aka Lady Violet) on the show too ¬¬. LOL.

Saddest moment: character’s deaths of two of the characters listed on “top 5”/“others you like” xD.

Most well done character death: the hanging in 3x09 was well done and served its purpose.

Favourite guest star: for a value of “guest star”... I’m going with Idelle.

Favourite cast member: Jessica Parker Kennedy is the one that I know and love for other projects she’s done.

Character you wish was still alive: THE ONE WE TRAGICALLY LOST IN 2x09.

One thing you hope really happens: I’m cheating because I know there’s some of that in s4, but I want to watch more Flint/Madi interactions pls.

Most shocking twist: well, I wasn’t spoiled for Mr. Scott’s plot in s3 so I was (pleasantly) surprised by that xD

When did you start watching/reading?: a little over two weeks ago; I watched (devoured) s1-s2 and 3x01-3x04 in a few days because I wanted to meet Madi, and then I tragically had to slow down :(((

Best animal/creature: I will always love Treasure Islands’  parrot that Silver named after Flint LMFAO.

Favourite location: Nassau aka Max’s ~domain xD. And Miranda’s house.

Trope you wish they would stop using: noooooone. I love the tropes this show reuses LMFAO. Romantic Betrayals(TM), triumvirates, “good things happen in the dark/away from civilization”, the power of narratives, social climbing and revolt... bring them oooooon.

One thing this show/book/film does better than others: quite a few xD. But one that really stands out to me is the dialogue; both the ~deep and sorrowful type (there were so many quotes where I had to take a break to freak out properly lol), and the humorous ones.

Funniest moments: I know I’m repeating myself, but I recently rewatched the pilot to edit some scenes and I keep remember the WHO’S BILLY one xDD (which I maintain it was Flint trolling him. He could give Abigail a rundown of Billy’s whole life story AND he shamelessly checked him out that one time. Flint knows who Billy is, he’s just an asshole xD). Really, all the scenes between Billy and Flint in that episode are comedic gold lmfao. Billy’s “oh dear I fucked up” expression when he tells Flint the crew has started to think him weak and Flint looks half a second away from murdering him right there, his WTF face at Flint’s antics with the stolen page... Gold, seriously.

Couple you would like to see: I meannnnnn. I would’ve been very happy if the show had decided to go with Flint/Madi/Silver, for one. Bonus if Miranda could’ve been included. Or just explicit Flint/Silver in poly arrangements (THEY ARE IN LOVE, IT’S JUST ~COMPLICATED XD).

Actor/Actress you want to join the cast: MAGGIE SMITH DAMMIT.

Favourite outfit: literally everything Max wears in s3. Eleanor’s s1-s2 outfits were things I’d love to wear too. Flint’s ~dramatic coat. Miranda’s collection of supposedly-puritan-but-showing-the-goods dresses xDD (and ofc her London clothes), Jack’s clothes (he’s Nassau’s fashion icon lbr).

Favourite item: the books!! Especially when Flint gave Miranda “La Galatea” as a gift (given that sometimes he reminds me of my OC Latoya, you might understand the freakout I had when he gave the other member of my OTP a book titled like that xDD).

Do you own anything related to this show/book/film?: no, but I kinda want to. I did have a Treasure Planet computer game I tragically can’t find... it was about collecting money in increasingly difficult scenarios LOL. And I probably have more pirate-y/Treasure Island theme stuff. I had a long pirate phase xD

What house/team/group/friendship group/family/race etc would you be in?: Max’s because I like being on the winning team, thanks xD (though I do ~align more with Flint and Madi’s lbr...).

Most boring plotline: Eleanor and Vane’s ~romance is not at all badly written... but the fact that I find both of them boring kinda ruins the whole thing because I always wish that time went to someone else xD. Also, Blackbeard. Meh.

Most laughably bad moment: n/a.

Best flashback/flashfoward if any: the London flashback where Miranda goes to Flint’s house unannounced to take him to an art gallery, she finds him half-naked and he gets all awkward about it lmao. And then they hook up in the carriage :DDD

Most layered character: we get to explore Flint and Silver the most. Silver’s development in particular is something that never ceases to impress me ngl.

Most one dimensional character: except the one-note characters I wouldn’t really call anyone completely one-dimensional, tbh. Though I do think the fandom attributes more complexity to Thomas than it’s seen in canon? Like, I like what I see; I think he’s functional, he works well, and he adds wonderfully to Flint’s (and Miranda’s) story, but I don’t see him as a full character in his own right. Which is perfectly fine for the narrative so far, but I fear it might fall apart for me at the very end.

Scariest moment: I never know what to say in this... I mean, I guess Flint killing a man with his bare hands in the pilot Like That was scary xD. I understand why Silver freaked out LOL.

Grossest moment: any of Max’s interactions with Vane tbh. Stay away from her ¬¬

Best looking male: Flint has that ruggedly handsome thing going on for him, if you’re into that (and sometimes I do appreciate his ~aesthetics... very sad he shaved his head in s3 though. Like, I get you did it for the Angst, honey, and trust me, I Feel U, but still). I feel like I might be forgetting someone, but seriously, none of the dudes in this show so far do anything for me LOL. I can honestly say I love them for their personalities xDD

Best looking female: I have a weakness for Max, but Miranda, Madi, Anne, the Maroon Queen, Idelle, Eme... all of them are gorgeous in their own way. This show is good for sapphic women’s enjoyment in that sense xDD.

Who you’re crushing on (if any): I could crush on any of the women mentioned above tbh.

Favourite cast moment: I have literally only seen this post about an interview where Flint’s actor says he’s too old to party with The Youth of the cast and just wants to chill on the weekend... with bonus Max and Eleanor’s actress talking about how Vane’s once climbed the side of a building up AND back down. I’m with you, Toby Stephens, you don’t need those shenanigans xDD

Favourite transportation: the Walrus, for sentimental reasons LOL. I liked stolen Spanish warship too.

Most beautiful scene (scenery/shot wise): lots of good ones, though I think my fave might be the one of Miranda sitting by the window in London. Or the one of Charles Town burning down, I liked that :))) (I remember thinking “Flint better go full Daenerys on them”. And he did! It was nice xD).

Unanswered question/continuity issue/plot error that bugs you: n/a, so far.

Best promo: n/a.

At what point did you fall in love with this show/book: I liked it from the word go, but the moment that TRULY cemented it for me was in 1x03, with Max making a decision that I... frankly didn’t expect. It made things worse for her in the short-term, the storyline itself was difficult and disturbing to watch and I still have some mixed feelings about it. But what it said about her as a character and how her journey goes after that... I was in awe of her, and of the show.

[elysianruins]

Notes on Ana’s main verse (some are tweaked from the original notes): 

Pre-massacre, she’s very fun-loving and charming, but can still act like a lady and be proper when needed, such as when speaking to Bryce in front of Howe and Duncan. She’s a bit oblivious at times and can fail to be aware of how she presents herself out to people (ie. flirting). A good way to see her is your traditional noble who has a fun-loving side. She loves getting all glammed up and wearing gorgeous dresses. Being the youngest can make her a bit irresponsible, which also bleeds into her fun-loving personality. She’s the least likely to inherit anything given that she’s the youngest (moreso with another Cousland between her and Fergus), so she enjoys her position, knowing full well it’s probably the best she’ll ever get. 

Post-massacre... she’s cautious. She doesn’t dive right into situations anymore, and she has such little value for herself. Having fun feels like a privilege she’s not allowed, and she is less likely to trust people. She wants to seek comfort from others, but sometimes a mere touch from someone who isn’t family can send her reeling (even early on after she’s recruited, she will not respond well to her kin’s touch). Even as she heals and recovers, she’s never quite the same. She can still act prim and proper, does what she’s told to do if it’s from someone of a higher position (like an older sibling or or someone in a position of authority), but you can tell it’s not only because she knows how, but also because she’s afraid of what would happen if she didn’t — if she didn’t act the way she was supposed to, or if she didn’t follow an order or complete a certain task. Anastasia loses that sense of nobility she had where she could do whatever she wanted and instead “learns her place” after the massacre of the Couslands. 

As a companion, the Warden needs to give her a lot of reassurance throughout her arc, especially when she begins to open up to them and trust them more and when she brings up her lack of training in combat. 

In the Fade during “A Broken Circle”, if she’s recruited by then, her nightmare will consist of her being with Bryce and Eleanor, talking about her upcoming marriage to Dairren and how she is excited to start a family so that Oren can have someone to play with. The Warden can either be direct with her and tell her that her family is dead (a Cousland can flat out tell her how Dairren and Oren were slaughtered in the siege of the castle), or they can try to guide her into realizing that everything’s fake, giving her hints that help her remember such events. Another option is just outright fighting her parents and Dairren. 

The latter helps her grow because she’s able to think back to the incident without it harming her; in fact, thinking back to the massacre, as painful as it was, actually helps her because it aids in escaping the nightmare fabricated by the Sloth demon. If the Warden took the direct approach or outright attacked the demons, she doesn’t help in the fight, only helping (and increasing the number of demons to even the odds) when persuaded that everything is fake.

During “A Test of Faith” as part of the search for the Andraste’s sacred ashes, the Guardian will have different dialogue in regards to the question asked to her depending on whether or not the Warden is a Cousland:

If the Warden isn’t a Cousland: “Ah, young Cousland. Your name only rings hollow after what has happened to you. You watched as your familywas slaughtered, your home destroyed and set ablaze. You could have ended up like your mother and father, but yet you live, though living came with a hefty price. Your body was used and your soul was killed... would you have preferred dying alongside your family back in Highever?”

“I... I don’t know. His men, they... they made me wish that I had died... but being alive means I can still avenge my family and pierce Rendon Howe’s withered heart with the very knife he used to backstab the Couslands with.”

If the Warden is a Cousland: “Ah, young Anastasia. Left behind as your sibling escaped with Duncan, forced to watch as your family was slaughtered, your home destroyed and set ablaze. As your sibling tasted freedom, you were subjected to abuse that made you question whether you were truly lucky to live. You ask yourself if the bile in your heart is meant for your sibling, do you not?”

“...My [brother/sister] is lucky to have escaped with Duncan. There... there is bile in my heart, yes, but I refuse to let it be meant for [him/her]. I can’t hate my own kin... [he/she] is all I have left. But there’s still poison in my heart and it makes me sick to my core. If... if I get my hands on Howe, I will spit the bile that resides in my heart onto his lifeless body.”

Anastasia has every reason to be mad at her sibling; she has every right to feel that she was abandoned by someone she trusted, but she refuses to exercise that right.

Provided that Anastasia is a companion before the Landsmeet, she will voice to the Warden that she wants to help rescue Anora. The Warden can either:

Agree to let her come along and get her support in the Landsmeet (which she mentions she’ll provide to influence their decision) 

Refuse to take her, lose her as a party member and her support in the Landsmeet (she will not be present)

Persuade her that it’s better she doesn’t go along because her desire for revenge against Howe could blow the whole mission (-20 Disapproval)

Intimidate her by saying that you’ll leave her in Howe’s dungeons if she keeps insisting on coming along (-100 Disapproval, even if you are at max and this brings you to 0, her Crisis Point cutscene will be triggered next time you talk to her)

When it comes to the Landsmeet, as the last living Cousland (presumed + also if the Warden is NOT a Cousland as well), she voices her support for the Warden which provides a great deal of support given she could legitimately be considered Teyrna with Bryce dead and Fergus MIA.

[negasonicimagines]

Things Change, pt. 2

author’s notes: this is only split into 2 parts because it’s kinda long. also, I hope the post-credits scene isn’t too weird, I realized there was a good cut-off point but what I’d written after was actually a good way to solidify a dynamic I like and therefore open up the ending a little more

content and trigger warnings: all of part 1, pre-story non-permanent character death, swearing, light sexual tones, implied depression

Yukio should’ve known that you and Ellie being friends wouldn’t bode well for her relationship with either of you. She takes a break to eat lunch and finds you and Ellie sitting together, catching on like wildfire - eating and showing each other memes on your phones. Doesn’t take much.

“Hi,” Yukio says, and the both of you turn to look at her.

“Hey,” you both respond, glaring at each other before laughing.

“What, uh… What happened?” Yukio asks.

“Well, you asked us both to be nicer to each other,” you say.

“Don’t be so humble, dipshit. She just saved my fucking life in training. Fucking Deadpool knocked Cable’s gun and made a shot ricochet off of one of the metal beams on the ceiling. It would’ve hit me if Y/N hadn’t pushed me out of the way. She took a pretty nasty hit. Show her.”

You stand up, Yukio sees the wide hole in your shirt, and she realizes she can no longer avoid the problem of her feelings for the both of you, now that you’re friends.

“Jeez, you didn’t have enough time to change?” Yukio teases, and you scoff.

“I was hungry. Crazy healing factor metabolism, and, of course, crazy healing factor stamina.”

“Just because we get along better doesn’t mean you can more brazenly flirt with my girlfriend. Don’t push it.”

“Who said I was flirting with your girlfriend?” You ask, popping up your eyebrows and failing to suppress a teasing smirk as you scroll through your phone. You could get used to this.

“HeyYukiocanwegotalkforasecond?” Ellie asks in a squeaky tone, at least, for her.

“Sure,” Yukio replies  in a similarly-strained way.

“I’m sorry,” you say quickly. “I was just messing around, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

“No!” Ellie argues. “You didn’t do anything, what you said just reminded me of something I forgot to talk to Yukio about this morning.”

“We’ll be right back,” Yukio reassures. Once they’re out of earshot, she wonders: “What is it?”

“You know how I have my freaky predict-the-future dreams?” Ellie asks her girlfriend.

“Yeah... “ Yukio looks at her warily.

“Can I tell you something without you getting mad at me?” Ellie asks another question, and Yukio just scoffs, rolling her eyes.

“Of course! Just get on with it, you’re making me anxious!”

“What if I told you that in some of these dreams, you and I… and Y/N… Are a couple…? Well, guess not a couple if it’s three people, but-”

Yukio sighs in relief.

“I’d say thank goodness, because I had no idea how to address the feelings I have for both of you… But you and Y/N have never gotten along!”

“Well, because she’s, like, totally in love with you, and you and I are in a relationship, so… Pretty clear cut conflict. But, now that- I mean, she’s just so…” Her eyes are drawn to you, sitting at the table looking a mixture of bored and nervous. “Things change.”

“Hey!” Yukio protests, giving her girlfriend a playful swat -  so light it barely qualifies as one - on the arm. “Fine. We’ll work this whole three-people couple thing out. But you’ve gotta convince her,” the pink-haired girl challenges.

“Deal,” Ellie agrees with a smile.

~

You sit at a table in the dining room with Wade and Russell. Everyone’s required to be out of their rooms for the event (unless accompanied by their parents or doing something quick like using the restroom) so that students are easier to keep track of, in case of emergency.

“So, what happened with your parents?” Russell asks.

“Kid, you have got to stop asking questions.The code here is, ‘Are you looking forward to parent-teacher conferences?’”

“Well, we’re in the middle of them, so how useful is that?! I was just curious. Mine died when I was a baby.”

Lucky you, you think, before shrugging as if it will take away the dark thoughts. You envy him.

“Y/N!” One of Yukio’s dad’s, Maxwell, calls out, and you put your upbeat face back on before turning around.

“Mr. Kitsuna-Miller!” You respond, making your way over to him and his husband.

“Where’s Yukio?” Daichi, her other father, asks.

“Oh, she should be somewhere around here… She and the rest of the Welcoming Committee have worked so hard to pull this off, as they always do. Hm… You know, she might be meeting Ellie’s parents.”

“Ellie?” Maxwell wonders.

“Her girlfriend, Max,” Daichi clarifies.

“But I thought…” Maxwell’s brow furrows and he limply points at you.

“That may still be the case,” Daichi once again explains, and you feel your cheeks heat up. “Thank you, Y/N. It was good to see you. Let’s catch up later, okay?”

You nod in agreement, heading back to your seat with Wade and Russell. You and the latter both sigh, bored. While there are plenty of kids here whose parents don’t accept them or are otherwise out of the picture, there are also plenty here who are joyfully reuniting with one or more of their parents, and even some siblings.

You’ll never have siblings, now that your parents are aware of their ability to create an abomination. It’s the only time they’ve ever blamed themselves for anything, and they usually just blame each other.

“Come on, you two! Let’s play some cards or something. Who needs parents, anyway? They suck!” Wade tries to cheer you two up, but only earns glares from some of the parents in the room who overheard.

“I wonder what they were like,” Russell says quietly.

“I wouldn’t if I were you,” you advise him. “Building up the perfect parents in your head to take the place of the ones that aren’t there will just make you feel more alone.”

“Well since somebody’s so good with words, why don’t we play Scrabble?” Wade suggests, and you scoff.

“Scrabble?” Russell asks. The orphanage wasn’t exactly a fun-filled place, so introducing him to the random little joys in life has become a hobby of both yours and Wade’s, as well as his other assorted acquaintances.

“You take the letters you’re given and put them on the board to make points, starting at the center before you play off of other played words. Wade and I can go first so you get the gist.”

After everyone has their seven letters, you pull out your phone to keep score.  Wade’s puts down “RISE.” You put down “SEARCH.” Russell puts down “HOLD.” Wade puts down “ELK.” You put down “ELITE.” The game continues, each of you putting down letters and picking up new ones from the box to take their place.

“Y/N!” You turn at the sound of Yukio’s voice. Her parents have found her, and you figure your hypothesis was correct: Ellie and people who must be her parents - a kind-looking man and woman - are with Yukio and her dads.

You lift a hand as a wave, turning around and putting down “PRISM.”

“Fuck this! You’re totally looking at the letters!” Wade complains.

“Yeah, right,” Russell disagrees. “You’re the one looking at the letters, I saw you do it when Y/N went to get a drink.”

“Shut up, the trick is to get her to forfeit due to annoyance so we have a chance,” Wade stage-whispers, and you give him an attempted un-amused glare that really just turns into stifled laughter.

“Y/N,” Ellie gets your attention, now. “My parents want to meet you. I told them about today.”

“Seriously? It really wasn’t a big deal. Russell, you’re on letter guard duty,” you assign, moving the box closer to the boy before following Ellie over to a larger table. Her parents are there, but Yukio and Yukio’s parents aren’t with them anymore.

Time to feel self-conscious, you think, realizing you’re the only one of your trio whose parents hate you.

Ellie’s parents stare at you, seeming a bit awe-struck. You look to her for help.

“Mom, Dad, no gawking, remember? At least introduce yourselves.”

“Josephine, but you can call me Jo.”

“Gregory, but you can call me Greg.”

“Nice to meet you both,” you say, shaking their hands at the same time.

“Where are your parents? We’d love to meet them, too, they must be so proud of you,” Jo says, and your pasted-on smile falls.

“Mom,” Ellie hisses.

“I’m so sorry,” Jo apologizes. “I get so excited that I forget Ellie’s coaching, sometimes. I am really, really sorry, I can’t even imagine not accepting Ellie or her brother or sister for any part of them, that must be so hard for y-”

“Mom,” Ellie reminds her mother once more, this time a little more tensely.

“Eleanor,” Greg warns.

“No, she’s right,” Josephine tells him.

“Thank you so much for what you did. You’re a hero,” Greg tells you.

“I wouldn’t go that far, it was really nothing.”

“Thanks, Y/N,” Ellie remarks, but there’s no hostility in it.

“That’s not what I meant, I just mean that I heal. It’s not really a big deal, what happens to me. I’m just a meatshield, I don’t actually do anything,” you chuckle. You don’t enjoy being praised for your… Condition. You know it’s not wrong to be a mutant, but that doesn’t mean that it never feels like a bad thing to be one due to the negative thoughts your parents instilled you with about yourself.

“Y/N!” Ellie scolds, looking almost hurt, but you can’t bring yourself to apologize for what you said.

“It was so lovely to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. Phimister, but I need to go make sure Wade isn’t cheating at Scrabble. I hope you enjoy the rest of the event, Yukio and her committee worked so hard on it.” You restrain your pace as you venture back to the small table, but it’s hard not to run away from the group.

“That looked awful,” Wade comments as you sit down.

“It was,” you tell him. “Is it my turn?”

“Duh,” Wade says.

You put down “DYNAMITE.”

“Fuck you,” Wade says.

“I’m rootin’ for you, Y/N,” Russell tells you, putting down “YES.”

Wade scoffs, putting down “SUCK.” You put down “THISTLE.”

“That’s not a word,” Wade says triumphantly. “I win.”

“Uh, yes, it fucking is. It’s like a thorn or bramble,” you correct. “Even if it wasn’t, you wouldn’t fucking win automatically, I would just have to put down a different fucking word.”

“Yowch. Tough crowd over there?”

“Something fucking like that,” you admit.

“Board’s looking kinda full,” Russell notes, looking over his letters.

“Yeah. Guess we’re done.” Wade pours the letters back into the box before a final count can take place to prove him the loser.

“Ah, a forfeit. Looks like you’ve won your first game of Scrabble, Russell. Nice job,” you tell your brother in arms - and by arms, dealing with Wade is meant - and the two of you laugh together. Now that there’s nothing to do, though, you sigh. “Can I go to my room?”

“You know you can’t,” Wade tells you, sounding disappointed for you.

“But what if I’m going to sleep early?” you wonder.

“Come on, Y/N, just stay out a little longer. Get some of the whore doors!”

“You mean hor d’oeuvres?” You ask the literally Canadian man.

“Yeah, but whore doors is funner to say,” Wade tells you, before realizing your complete lack of humor. “Just go on to bed, kid, I’ll handle Colossal Hall Monitor.”

“Thanks.” You plod out of the dining room and into the hallway, making your way towards the stairs. You hear someone jogging in the same direction, and turn to see who it is. Cable.

“Wade’s still in the dining room, but he’s busy watching Russell, so your hate-fucking will have to wait,” you wisecrack, and he snorts.

“I heard what you said in there, to Ellie’s parents. That’s real fucked up, you know that?”

“And since when is that your problem?” you wonder. Cable seems intimidating to most, but he doesn’t really scare you. After all, it’s not like he can kill you or anything. You admire his strength and skill, sure, but that’s about it for your relationship with him.

“There’s a lot of people who care about you here. I get that your parents might be ignorant assholes, and you may not be able to die, but that doesn’t mean you don’t feel pain. That shot that I hit you with? Most people die of pain before they ever succumb to the actual injury. I knew about your healing factor before today… Earlier, I was apologizing for how it hurt.”

You’re speechless. You nod in acknowledgement of his words before continuing up the stairs and to your room.

Once you’ve finished your nighttime routine and you’re comfortable in your bed, you wonder how much truth there was to what he said. Sure, people care about you, but… Is it really that bad for you to not care if you get hurt? It doesn’t mean anything; doesn’t have any lasting effect. And what’s with Cable’s sudden concern? It’s not like he can relate, his parents love him dearly. Not to mention Ellie’s feelings towards you, all it took was one decision that wasn’t even really a decision to change everything, or it at least feels that way.

You toss and turn with your tumultuous thoughts before eventually falling asleep.

~

Guilt from yesterday pools in Ellie’s stomach and makes it hard to eat breakfast. The way she paraded you in front of her parents like a show pony, the way she didn’t even send a text to apologize for her mother’s ignorant comments, the way she’s reacted to this whole situation, it’s all piling up and-

“Hey,” you say rather gruffly, sitting down across from her. Yukio already sits beside her, and responds with a chipper “Hi, Y/N!”

“I’m really sorry about yesterday,” Ellie says in lieu of a greeting.

“It’s okay,” you tell her. “It’s not a big deal.”

“What happened?” Yukio asks.

“My parents and I were idiots.”

“They weren’t idiots, just… I hate fucking talking about this, but, Ellie, you’re gonna find out sooner or later, and Yukio already knows, so… My parents don’t just not accept me. If they found out what I did yesterday, they’d be so disappointed that I didn’t die, and that’s all they’d care about. They’d probably throw in the m-word once or twice and then start arguing about whose side of the family is to blame for me being an abomination, too. So when your parents- So when they looked at me like that, when they called me a hero? It just felt… Wrong. Because all I’m doing is… All I’m doing is making up for existing,” you explain, throat tightening a little with emotion before you exhale.

Ellie doesn’t know what to say. She never expected this; you always seem so happy.

“Y/N…” Yukio sighs, brows furrowed.

“Fuck them,” Ellie decides her words. “Fuck them, seriously. They’re wrong about you.”

“You can’t just say-”

“Why not?” Ellie asks. “I mean, if you’re an abomination to them, then Yukio and I must be… I don’t even know the word. Do you think that?”

“Well, no, but-”

“But what? Fuck them!”

You’re stunned into silence.

“You’re great, Y/N. You’re smart, you’re funny, you’re selfless, you’re fucking amazing, okay? Fuck. Them.”

“Well, I’d rather not fuck them, if that’s alright…” you reply, smiling a little bit. “Thanks, I- No one’s ever been able to snap me out of that so quickly.”

“No thanks necessary, I owe you.”

“Right,” you remember, eyes downcast. Why else would she be kind to you, why else would anyone?  

“But that’s not why I said that stuff just now,” Ellie adds. “I just- How do I even say this? I like you. I like-like you.”

“Um-“ you start, looking to your best friend who also happens to be Ellie’s girlfriend.

“Oh, no, she does, too, don’t worry,” Ellie reassures and your brain turns to Jell-O at her borderline nonchalance. Your lips part because you want to say something - literally anything - and you blink at her.

“You’re going to catch flies!” Yukio warns you. “Come on, you can’t be that surprised, can you?”

“I can. I’m… Me,” you remind them.

“Uh, yeah, exactly,” Ellie says.

“You-” you point to your former arch nemesis/third-best friend, making circles with your finger for emphasis, “-of all people should not be saying that. We’ve been making each other miserable since we met.”

“Well, things change.”

“You just think you like me because I saved your life. It’s not the first time it’s confused someone, and it won’t be the last,” you explain.

“You should just tell her, Ellie,” Yukio suggests, and you wonder what she’s talking about.

“I’m not telling her that, it’s weird,” Ellie disagrees.

“Well she would like to know about the weird thing that she should be told,” you chime in, annoyed at being talked about like you’re not here.

“Right… So, don’t know if you know this, but I have… Dreams, when I sleep.”

“Most people do,” you reply with quirked brows, confused about what she’s getting at.

“Dreams about the future, jackass. And, according to some dreams I’ve been having recently, we’re all going to be in this kind of… Arrangement. And the arrangement is, for lack of a better word, good. So, it wasn’t you saving my life that made me see you differently. I’ve just been having some internal issues that I finally got over.”

“Wait, are you saying that because you had wet dreams about us having a threesome and you think they’re the future and not just your brain processing your rivalry with me weirdly, that we’re meant to be in some sort of ‘arrangement’?” You’re skeptical, to say the least.

“The prophetic dreams feel different, okay? And they weren’t all-“ She cringes at the term she’s about to use before continuing: “-wet dreams.”

“But some were?” You inquire, amused. Ellie’s cheeks turn red pretty quickly, the girl is a deep blusher and it’s honestly adorable.

“Shut up!” She lashes out, embarrassed. “I mean, I’m sorry, okay? For all of it. Can you just give me an answer?”

“An answer?” She hasn’t asked you anything, only made some confessions.

“You didn’t actually ask her out,” Yukio says quietly to her girlfriend, who puts her face in her hands and groans.

“Do you want to be a thing? With me, and Yukio? Like, a three-girlfriends thing?” Ellie asks, still not looking up.

“Yukio, you haven’t really said a lot. What do you think?” You ask your friend nervously. You’re definitely into her, and feelings for Ellie are forming within you, especially during these past few days.

“I’m down, I told Ellie that yesterday. The conditions are just that she has to convince you.”

“But- I mean, I don’t have a lot of friends. If this doesn’t work out, I’ll have… Pretty much no one. I just don’t know if it’s a good idea, as lucky as I’d be to be with you two… But if I say no now then that could also ruin our friendships.”

“Don’t worry about all that, okay? I promise I’ll be your friend as long as you don’t do something absolutely terrible, and even then it’d vary case by case. I love you,” Yukio reminds you of a promise she’s made to you many times before, one she’s kept.

“Alright. Consider me convinced, then,” you decide, a smile tugging at your lips. Ellie looks up at you and can’t help but share in the expression.

“That’s great,” she tells you.

“So, what now?” You ask.

“Um… Finishing breakfast?” Ellie suggests. “Then room transfer forms, I guess.”

“Someone’s eager to make their dreams come true,” you joke, and Yukio giggles.

“She’s not the only one. She talks in her sleep-“ Yukio pinches her fingers a small space apart “-a little bit.”

“Wait, you knew?!”

“Not that they were real,” Yukio defends herself against an embarrassed Ellie while you snicker.

“Stop laughing, bottom,” Ellie jabs playfully, and you gasp.

“I doubt that,” Yukio remarks in your defense. “Y/N… Mm…”

Ellie gapes at her girlfriend’s imitation of her, and the three of you laugh, enjoying the rest of your breakfast together.

After that, it’s to the office. Your request gets approved quickly due to the fact that you’re freeing up a room.

“I guess I’ll get packing, then,” you tell your new girlfriends, and they follow you to your - already old, now being moved out of - room. When you open the door, it hits you like a wave that this has been your room since you were ten.

The first thing you pluck from the wall is a framed picture of yourself and your parents. Before everything.

It’s a bit sun-faded, and you study it for a few moments. Yukio’s head perches on your shoulder while Ellie mumbles something about your nightstand and a TV.

“You were so cute. Are so cute,” Yukio comments, studying the face of the girl before the accident, before waking up in that drawer in the morgue, before the name-calling and the disappointment. Before you changed.

Your hands clutch at the frame to avoid throwing it, knowing she doesn’t even know the full truth of what she’s looking at - not yet - and Yukio quietly offers to take it away.

“That’d be best, for now,” you admit, letting her well-manicured hands take hold of the last piece of who you used to be. She asks permission to show Ellie, and you allow her to, deciding to distract yourself with other pictures. Some are with old friends that have died or moved on from this place in other ways, others are with Yukio, newer ones are with Wade and Russell. Next, you take your clothes out of the wardrobe, putting the ones that are meant to go in drawers in your various duffle bags and backpacks and leaving your blouses, dresses, jackets and whatnot on hangers.

The girls mostly watch as you pack the materials of your life away, hearts hurting at the mutual realization that this is really all there is. There is no bedroom at home with your favorite stuffed animal that your big sister gave you that you’re too ashamed to bring but miss so much, there is no big fluffy dog to whine incessantly the first week you’re gone to school that will leap on you the second you get back, there is nothing, really.

Ellie kisses you first despite knowing Yukio probably should be the one to do it, considering your history - she just can’t help it. She grabs your face and kisses you.

“What was that for?” you ask, stunned. It’s been nearly silent while you’ve been packing and sorting, so there was little to no provocation.

“I, uh… The more I’ve gotten to know you, the more I’ve wanted to. And I’m getting to know you really well right now,” Ellie bashfully explains.

“Huh. Fair enough,” you decide, and she scoffs. It’s not mocking, more of a sound that says ‘typical Y/N’ and makes you smile softly. The smile is kissed off your face by Yukio and replaced with a sly grin. “Probably shouldn’t make Ellie’s dreams come true all over my clothes. Try whatever strategy this is later and we’ll see,” you tease.

“It’s not a strategy, we just lo...ike you,” Yukio stumbles over her words and you blush a little.

“Alright, I think we can start moving the stuff I’ve set aside, and then we can get help with furniture stuff later,” you decide. The girls nod, and this gets done quickly. You send your new partners ahead of you to dinner, telling them you need to think about where your pictures and trinkets will go, because you do.

Eventually, though, you end up just sitting on the floor and looking at your new surroundings. It makes sense to move, the girls don’t want you to be or even feel left out, but it’s hard to imagine fitting into this room with two other people when you’re so, so used to being alone.

But when there’s a knock at the door, and you answer it to find Cable with some Command Strips - grumbling about the school having the budget to redesign their suits every five goddamn seconds but not enough to patch some holes in the wall from good old fashioned hammer and nails - you’re reminded that things change.

post credits scene:

He looks at the first picture you hand him, the one of you and your parents.

“Hm,” he says, looking from the picture to you and asking bluntly: “Why keep this one?”

You give him a pointed look.

“Well, if they disowned you, I’d assume they surrendered all the pictures. So why just this one?”

You know a man like him wouldn’t ask if he didn’t truly want to know, so you don’t bother toying with him and delaying the inevitable. It’s not a secret, just the answer to a question that’s never asked. “Because I drowned in the lake in the background that day.”

“Hm,” is all he says - he says that a lot, probably - before attaching new Command Strips to the back and putting it with the pictures Ellie and Yukio have with their own families.

[forthisone]

The Handmaid’s Tale 3.12 Thoughts

The first 30 minutes of this episode was maybe the most sustained satisfying The Handmaid’s Tale content I’ve ever seen.

Cut for spoilers. This post is long. I have this thing where I ramble. A lot. Welcome to my stream of consciousness.

Comments in some kind of chronological fashion...

Does Beth know that June killed Winslow? When she said June was “fucking fantastic” I got the feeling she only meant the Billy stuff and she didn’t know about the Winslow part, hence why she was surprised about the bruise on her cheek? But, also, how would Beth NOT know what had happened, if she knew about the Billy part? I guess maybe she was just sent the cakes from Billy as a “yes”, and she doesn’t know any more than that?

June being told she’d “got away with murder” and that Fred and Serena had been captured... that was great. I think I would have liked a bit more focus in this episode on June dealing with the fact that she had just killed someone with a pen, but ok. I feel like Season 4 might focus a lot on her dealing with all of these feelings, and dealing with who she has become, but for now she is blocking everything out to get the job done. 

The moment Fred realised Serena had betrayed him. I LIVED for that reaction. That was truly the best.

However, Fred’s “jail” cell was waaaaaaaaaay too fucking comfortable. What the fuck? I expected that boy in an orange jumpsuit, in some rusty cell, in chains. WHY weren’t we given that, as viewers? Literally the most comfortable jail I’ve ever seen, in any show, ever.

RITA. YES. Pretty sure that’s the most we’ve seen Rita all season and it was great. “I want in.” I’m SO HAPPY SHE IS BACK IN THE SAME PLACE AS JUNE. Although, maybe she won’t be for long if she is on that plane. Hoping for much more next season either way.

It was so good to see Moira and Luka again too.

BABY HOLLY LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE NICK OMG. And Moira was FUCKING AMAZING. “Who are you, really?” YESSS MOIRA. “You are the gender traitor.” YES. MOIRA. God, I missed Samira Wiley.

And, while I didn’t like to see Holly upset, it was so satisfying to see Serena be a stranger to her and not be able to comfort her and not be able to refer to herself as her mother in front of her. “You can’t use terms like that, it will confuse her.” Here for it! Serena has got what she wanted but she immediately realises it’s not going to be what she thought it would be.

There was also a shot of Serena that focuses on her wedding ring and her finger stump at the same time, and I appreciated that shot. Just wanted to say that.

Luke punching Fred. A++++++++++ I’m glad Luke got that punch in. I 100% thought that Luke had smuggled some kind of weapon in that folder when he first walked in. My brain full on mapped out an entire storyline of Luke shooting Fred and Fred dying and Luke going to prison for it … what a curveball that would have been! I’m kind of bummed it didn’t happen.

I’m also surprised Fred didn’t mention Nick to kick Luke when he was already down, but I guess Fred himself is still in denial about June and Nick’s relationship, he’d rather think that June felt something for him and forget all about Nick being the father of the baby. Also, let’s be real, at this point it’s like Nick doesn’t even exist anymore, in any aspect of this show, or the memories of any character, AT ALL, IT’S LIKE HE WAS NEVER HERE, so why on Earth I was expecting Waterford to mention him, I don’t know. I’m just desperate, honestly.

Eleanor. I mean, I’m not sure how to feel about this twist at all, except that I feel awful and horrified. At least she is at peace now and she doesn’t have to live with all that pain anymore. But, God, it wasn’t June’s decision to make to just let her die. No June no no no no no. Who even is June anymore? I think Lawrence for sure knows that June did check on Eleanor and I think maybe he will do a 180 on helping her now. His motivation for leaving was Eleanor and Eleanor’s safety. And now that motivation is gone. He doesn’t care about getting out. I guess it will come down to how much he cares about the children and his own conscience. But I think all he ever really cared about was Eleanor.

Remember how this episode started with June pointing a gun at Eleanor? Well, she pulled the trigger, I guess, in the end.

I really don’t know what’s going to happen with this plane. I want it to succeed but I will be so surprised if it does. I feel like the last two episodes have been the satisfying ones (end of 11/start of 12) and now shit has to start going sideways again. But the fact that they’ve said June won’t be on that plane makes me think that maybe it will succeed and this will mean the Gilead/rest of the world conflict will hit the fan in Season 4. I think they might need those children to escape to propel the storyline on. If Gilead can almost go to war over the loss of two Commanders, pretty sure they will implode over 52 lost children. And we’ll see a lot more battle/war next season? I might have biased reasons for wanting to see the frontline *cough*

Also, where’s Emily? I’m ok with her not being shown this episode as there was a lot going on, but I’d really like to see her again before the season is out, please?

(And now, if you don’t like Nick or Nick fans, you can stop reading now as the rest is all about him. I appreciate it’s impressive how, each week, I can still find more to write about a character we haven’t seen for six episodes now, but don’t worry, I managed...)

So, someone on Tumblr posted that Nick was in Episode 12 earlier this week, because of something they’d seen on Instagram. THANKS FOR RAISING MY HOPES YET AGAIN, PERSON.

Because of that, there were a few points I thought he might appear (I live in hope). Firstly, at the beginning, when June was told there were Commanders in the sitting room with Lawrence, I suddenly was like “OMG IS NICK GOING TO BE IN THAT ROOM?”. But we got fuckwit Putnam instead and some other wanker. Fuck it. Secondly, all the talk with Lawrence on the phone about starting a conflict, closing the border… I thought they might show him in Chicago when some kind of attack was launched. Thirdly, I also thought maybe they’d bring him in as some kind of witness in Fred’s trial, maybe even sent from Gilead to try and get Fred back? The latter two ideas still might happen. If they do bring him back next episode I think it will either be something to do with Fred’s trial or something big happening with the conflict in Chicago. I think Fred’s trial might be a focus of next season though, not next episode.

All I can say is I want to see the scene where June fully breaks down over all she has done this season and for Nick to be the person who brings that out of her and finally lets her feel that. I want to see the human side of June again. There was a moment towards the end this episode (after the scene about the wine with Lawrence) where she almost cried and she stopped herself. She often looks on the verge of tears to be honest, but she’s still trying to stop herself from feeling anything. She needs Nick to help her access her emotions. Although, to be honest, June has changed SO MUCH this season that I can’t even imagine how her and Nick would interact anymore. I can’t imagine what that’s going to be like. And, like I said, I’m not sure who June is anymore.

SPECULATIVE FINALE POSSIBLE SPOILER: I am still expecting Nick to be in the finale as Max has spoken in interviews about footage that we haven’t seen yet (and there’s also a shot of him in the Season 3 trailer we haven’t seen yet), but, honestly, at this point, I don’t even know what to believe anymore. Every time I think he will for sure be in the next episode, he isn’t. Maybe Max is wrong and they just cut all his scenes, even the ones that were filmed?!?  And the worrying thing is that I can definitely imagine them doing that.

I really did think we were going to get one Nick-centric episode (with flashbacks to the Crusade) later this season (not even just because I am biased, I just really thought it would happen), to explain his part in it and the cliffhanger they left his character on in Episode 6, but I feel like that ship has sailed now and surely they won’t do that in the finale?

Just let him live through the season, I guess. That’s all I want, so we can actually see him next season, maybe?

But the rest was good...

[bisexualpirateheart]

                                      Maxanor - Reconciliation 

               (Written for Black Sails Rare Pair Appreciation Week)  

Max sends back the fruit, the pressed lavender, the silk, all the trinkets Eleanor thinks she can buy her forgiveness with. She doesn't want to be bought, doesn’t want to give her forgiveness for something brought in on a ship. She wanted to leave with Eleanor, she wanted to run away together, she wanted to be free.

She can still have one of those things at least.

But now that she has started to rebuild something for herself, here is Eleanor, still trying to woo her back.

Part of Max wants to be wooed. She can’t deny that. There is some bit of her that’s flattered that Eleanor would do this. There is also the part of her that won't let herself forget the past. Even if she still loves Eleanor. That’s the hardest part. She will always love Eleanor.

It takes time for her to understand that the choices Eleanor has made weren't always what Eleanor wants. That the things Eleanor wants, aren't always what her heart desires, and that the heart like all things, can be torn between two impossible decisions. That Eleanor is a pirate in every true sense of the word, she wants respect, she wants to run her business without men trying to halt her every move, and she wants her freedom.

If only her idea of freedom and Max’s had been the same.

                                                ~*~

The next time Eleanor looks her way across the street Max gives her a slight nod. It would not be an encouragement to a less determined woman, but Eleanor Guthrie is not such a woman.

She doesn't send gifts this time, Eleanor comes herself.

When the girl tells Max that Ms Guthrie is waiting to see her, Max hesitates. This is a road she has taken before, a road that she had not diverged from easily. She has missed Eleanor, it's true, but she's not sure it's wise to let her too close again. She's not sure her heart can take it.

But she lets the girl send Eleanor up. She remains at the desk, ostensibly writing a letter, but the last line or so have been merely ink on paper. The words don’t make sense.

"I wasn't sure you'd want to see me." Eleanor leans against the closed door, gazing at her.

Of course I want to see you, why wouldn't I want to see you, these are all words that could exist upon Max's tongue. What brings you to my door now? Instead she sets down her pen and waits a moment.

"I wasn't sure either." She says at last. There. She can admit that much.

"I've missed you." 

Max regards her, looking at her intently. "I believe that is true." 

"I didn't want to." Eleanor says, "I wanted to be able to move past this."

"You are not alone in that wish." Max murmurs. If she could tear out the part of her heart that still clings to Eleanor, she would have long ago. Buried it beneath a mountain of stone that would crush it, that would have been preferable too. Instead she’s left with this inconsolable longing within her, the loneliness of desire for a woman who betrayed her, and love, still a wealth of love that wracks her heart with the strength of it. She shouldn’t be allowed to love like this. Not now, not after everything that has happened between them.

To her surprise her words bring a slight smile to Eleanor's mouth. The sight of that alone sends a sharp mingled point of desire and loss through Max's stomach. 

"I suspected that might be the case." She was still looking at Max with those hollow eyes. "I wondered if we weren't alone in another wish as well."

"And what wish might that be?" Max's words are light, but her heart is beating like a bird trapped within a cage, frantic to escape. 

"To kiss you again." Eleanor remains where she is, waiting. 

And Max knows that for her to cross the room to Eleanor, she will have to speak. To tell Eleanor that all is well and forgiven. But she doesn't know if that's true or not. She doesn't know if she can forgive this woman she has loved beyond everything.

"Take your hair down." She has dreamed of Eleanor since they were apart and in her dreams Eleanor's hair is always down. She is the woman she lets herself be in Max’s bed, wild and free and bold.

Slowly Eleanor reaches for the pins, letting it fall to her shoulders. 

Just as slowly Max crosses the room to her, her limbs steady beneath her, in spite of the trembling of her heart. She stands there in front of Eleanor, simply looking at her. She sees a woman she has known fully, and yet still does not know. The heart beating inside of Eleanor's chest is a stranger to her. 

"Anne told me what you did. On the beach that night."

“It wasn’t…” Eleanor wets her lips. "She did the deed."

"But you helped." It was thanks to the two of them, that she stood where she was now. She could not forget that.

"I wanted...I couldn't..." Eleanor's voice breaks for a half moment and then she catches herself. "I tried to understand why you had gone with him...but all I wanted to do was know that you were safe."

"And now that I am safe?" Max tilts her head, still looking at her. "What do you want now?"

"To kiss you." Eleanor breathes. “More than anything, that’s what I want, Max.”

Eleanor's breath catches as Max raises a hand to touch her cheek.   

"What are you waiting for?"

"I need to know if you still want me to kiss you." Eleanor says simply. "I need to know that."

Softly Max brushes her knuckles along the curve of Eleanor's jaw. "I still want you to kiss me."

Eleanor drew in a sharp breath. “Oh Max.”

She leans in, clasping Max’s face. The first brush of her lips is tentative for a heartbeat, and then Eleanor sighs and her teeth catches Max’s lip, and the rush of desire returns in full force.

Her hands reach for Eleanor’s skirts as they continue kissing their way across the room. There are no questions, no reassurances, only hands upon clothes, shedding them frenziedly across the floor.

Max has dreamed of this but even her dreams aren’t as good this. Eleanor standing nude before her, the sunlight streaming over her golden hair. In Max’s dreams Eleanor is always slightly out of reach.

Max stops and stares at her.

“Max?’

“I….” Max licks her lips. “I tried not to love you.” The confession slips from her before she can catch it.

There’s pain in Eleanor’s eyes, but then she looks at Max, her eyes widening a little. “Does that mean you still love me?”

Max laughs. “Yes. I suppose it does.”

Eleanor surges towards her, kissing her fully. “I haven’t stopped loving you.” She kisses Max’s breasts and then reaches for her bodice, kissing Max’s breasts. “I have always loved you.” She takes one of Max’s nipples in her mouth, kissing it reverently.

She falls to her knees, kissing Max’s curls there. “I will always love you.”

The first press of her mouth to Max’s cunt makes Max gasp. Eleanor’s hands on her thighs, drawing her closer. Her tongue descends upon Max with a hunger that defines reason. Max is panting, her hands in Eleanor’s hair as Eleanor slips her tongue between her folds.

Eleanor brings to the brink again and again, and whenever Max thinks she’s finally going to come, Eleanor draws off and kisses her thighs and belly and breasts. It isn’t until Max shudders “Eleanor, please,” that Eleanor presses her tongue back to her cunt and fucks her as Max loves her to do.

She draws Eleanor over to the bed and pushes her down. Now she has Eleanor where she wants her. Max has missed this, missed Eleanor. She’s never been intimate with another person as she was with Eleanor. Eleanor knows her. Eleanor loved her. And now, she looks up at Max with desire in her eyes, her cheeks flushed with desire, her hair tangled, breasts heaving.

Is it possible she’s speaking the truth or has she just missed this? Missed being in Max’s bed? Would that be enough to cause that look in her eyes?

She straddles Eleanor, cupping her breasts. She doesn’t want to think about anyone else in the world right now. She only wants Eleanor. In this moment, it’s enough.

She rides Eleanor to a slow frantic climax, watching her face the whole time, listening to Eleanor murmur her name to the air as she comes.

                                               ~*~

Max looks over at Eleanor sleeping beside her. Eleanor looks so peaceful. Slowly Max reaches out and touches her cheek. Eleanor stirs faintly, turning her face towards Max in her sleep.

Max sits up and reaches for her robe. She pours herself a cup of wine and walks to her balcony. Afternoon has given way to evening. There are lanterns and lamps lit all over Nassau town. Max takes a sip of wine and leans against the post. She loves this time of night, the smell of the sea rolling in, the way the windows shine in the dark.

She looks back over her shoulder at Eleanor. If she wants, she can pretend it’s the same as it always was. But she doesn’t want that. The only way to move forward is to do exactly that. So perhaps it is not a return to the same road. Perhaps it is a new path altogether. Max wants that. She wants to forge that path with Eleanor.

She drinks a toast to that, to the night, before going back to the bed. She lays down beside her and takes her hand. Eleanor immediately curls inward towards her, hand clasping Max’s in return.

“I will always love you too.” She whispers.

                                                  ~*~

It takes her a little while to tell Eleanor that she’s forgiven her. It takes a while for her heart to realize it’s true. But that day comes all the same. And when Eleanor cups her face in her hands and kisses her, Max knows they are on the same path at last together.

[eleanorjcalder]

Thanks for the reply! Would you say that you think her blogger style wasn’t really her style and that she didnt particularly see herself doing it for a long time? I ask that, because I used to follow eleanorj-Calder (when she was active) and I would often see her say that it seemed like Eleanor didn’t care about the blog or her outfits as much as max and how max seemed to want to do more and I didn’t agree with her until 2017 when she gave up blogging and her style changed completely.

no problem! i think eleanor’s style evolved over the years as does anyone’s. when i think about her outfits pre-trend pear, i see a significant difference in what she wears now post-trend pear. i think her outfits during her time as a fashion blogger were kind of a transitioning phase for her style. i do think max probably had a hand in this considering he was one half of the blog lol

i can see where that vibe could come off. i remember something about eleanor not being able to do anything on the actual trend pear website and waiting for max to come back (as a co-owner it feels like she could’ve learned how to edit the site as max did, but maybe it was something she tried and just couldn’t figure out, who knows). the blog would go through months without an update even at it’s peak, and i remember quite a few solo posts from max and only a few from eleanor (mostly when she got the tommyxgigi campaign). maybe she realized she was passionate about fashion not as a blogger, but as a more behind-the-scenes type of thing like a stylist. 

or it could tie in with her ghosting all of her social media when she got back with louis—we’ve seen the intense hate her or anyone even remotely close to her receives just for posting a photo with her or mentioning her name since then. it would be hard to try and continue a successful blog when thousands of people are going to jump on every post to tell you that your outfits are ugly no matter what you wear just because they think you’re this monster of a person that deserves to be bullied. i would hope that isn’t the case and that she didn’t simply stop because of nasties.

lastly, i think it may just be since her alleged falling out with max happened within the same few months of her getting back with louis. that would equal loads of gross people tailing her with hate and no longer having her best friend by her side to help her through it, as well as no partner in the blog. at that point, she could’ve just decided the blog would be more hassle than it was worth for the time being.

whatever it is, she seems pretty happy with where her life is right now and i’m glad for that! ♥

- Kris

[urdearestmom]

I Love You A Latte

so ao3 won’t let me post this for some reason. I’ve been working on it for about five months and it’s probably trash but here is this monster, the longest oneshot i’ve ever written!!!!!!!!!! 

i’d like to dedicate it to @robynhoots because she loves mileven just as much as i do and also @fatechica because her 27k chapters of solely quality content inspire me :DD thanks ladies!!!!!  

El looks up as the door opens, and there they are again. The redheaded girl and the tall guy, pushing each other through the entry and glaring. It's a regular occurrence, so she knows that's just how they are and not that they're about to punch each other out or something. El turns away to wipe down the counter, trying to avoid staring at the couple as they head to a table and spread out their belongings. She can admit that she low-key has a crush on the dude, but he's clearly another girl's boyfriend and she's not going to get herself in the way of that. It's just a crush, after all.

He comes up to the counter and awkwardly smiles at her. The pair always comes at this time, when this particular Starbucks isn't very busy, so there's no one else working the register and machines.

"Hi, what can I get you today?" El asks. She always feels a little bit like her feet are about to lift off the ground from nerves whenever Mike comes to order instead of his girlfriend. He's so tall it should be intimidating, but it only would be if he was thicker. As it is, he's a walking bundle of twigs with a mop of dark hair on top. For some reason, El finds it attractive. She thinks he's just about the cutest guy she's ever seen: dark hair, dark eyes, a face splashed with freckles. She just wishes he wasn't already taken.

"A tall iced coffee with milk and a grande chai latte for Mike and Max, please," he answers, pulling his wallet out.

"Don't get my order wrong!" Calls the redhead from their seats, smirking.

Mike rolls his eyes and huffs exasperatedly. "I've never gotten her order wrong in my life," he says, looking at El and shaking his head.

She plasters on her customer service smile and replies, "That'll be six eighty-nine, please."

They've been coming in since before she even started working there, El thinks. At least, her manager told her that Mike and Max had been regulars for a long time when she asked. So they've been together for a while. El's kind of envious, not just because she thinks Mike is cute, but because they seem like the type of couple everyone wants to be. They're confident together, and they look happy. Well, sometimes. Most of the time one of them is ribbing the other while their partner fumes. A lot of the time they come in just for drinks and a study session, spreading out books and laptops across wherever they've decided to sit that day, and they'll spend hours sitting across from each other without saying a word. She's never seen them kiss or hold hands or anything of the sort, but El figures maybe they're just not into PDA (which would suck for her if they were).

Their relationship is actually kind of aggressive. Whenever El's not super busy (which is always), she likes to watch them, and she's noticed that Max seems to like hostile physical interaction. She slaps Mike upside the head or punches him in the arm a lot, and sometimes she even kicks him, but he always retaliates by either pulling her hair or with a slew of sharp words. It's an interesting dynamic, and El wonders if she weren't so shy, would she have been able to make friends with them? She kind of wants to. God knows she needs friends; this is her third year in college and she barely has any.

It's on one day, when Max comes in alone, that El decides that she's going to talk to her. It's less of a task without Mike there because he makes her nervous, and Max seems like the type of girl who'd be open to a conversation. She's also in one of El's sociology classes, so that could be something to talk about.

The redhead is leaning against the end of the counter as El makes her regular chai latte, blowing strands of hair out of her face. El takes a deep breath and opens her mouth to speak before she loses her courage. "So, what are you studying?"

Max jerks back to attention. "Sorry, what?"

El gulps. "Um, what- what are you studying? You know, like, what are you in college for?"

"Oh," Max says, nodding. "I'm in marketing."

"That's cool," El answers, turning off the machine before passing off the cup to the other girl. "You like it?"

Max rips open a packet of sugar. "It's fine, I guess. Never really what I pictured myself doing, growing up, but I'm here and I'm not bored and I don't hate it," she replies, pouring the sugar in. "What about you?"

El takes a quick look around the store, noting that there are no new customers. "Developmental psych, but sociology minor. You enjoying Tepperman's class?"

Max's eyes widen. "I knew I recognized you! Ellen, right?"

"Eleanor, actually," El says, smiling. "Old nickname, it's my middle name. It stuck."

Max smiles back. "Hey, I don't wanna take you away from your job or anything, but the store looks pretty empty so… you want to come sit down? I have so many questions about that goddamned class and my friend is busy today so…"

No way is El going to pass up the opportunity to begin what she feels could be a beautiful friendship. "Sure!"

It goes naturally from there. El sits down with Max whenever she's alone, and they exchange phone numbers shortly after their first meeting. A few times, she even sits down when Mike is there too, although she talks a lot less because she feels like she's intruding on their time together. She finds that Max is a spitfire, just exactly as she looks, and that Mike is a really nice guy with a sharp tongue. He's an engineering major (somehow, that makes him even more attractive. El needs to get over it). They mention someone named Lucas a lot, but neither of them ever specifies who that is and El doesn't want to ask. She assumes he must be one of their friends.

It's been about a month since she first talked to Max, and she wonders if she's ever going to meet their other friends, or if she's just the random Starbucks employee they talk to sometimes. The answer comes one afternoon when Max gets up to leave.

"I'm gonna head home to get ready," she says, swinging her bag over her shoulder and nodding at Mike.

"Alright, guess I'll see you later then," he answers. "Try not to ravage the bathroom while you're at it, would you?"

She rolls her eyes. "Fuck you." She's standing there looking between El and Mike as if waiting for one of them to say something.

"Are you leaving or what, Mayfield?" Mike asks exasperatedly. Max stands there for a moment more before winking at him. He sinks lower in his seat, flushing. "Kindly fuck off, I'll see you later."

She laughs and walks away, waving as she pushes the door open and disappears onto the street.

"So you guys live together?" El asks, picking at her nails and trying not to make it obvious that the new information makes her uncomfortable. Clearly, there's another level of commitment here that she hadn't been aware of. It makes her crush on Mike even more awkward than it already is.

Mike sighs, reaching for his drink and taking a sip. "Yeah. It's easier to live with someone you know than to room with people you've never met. It could be a gamble with new people, but Max and I have known each other our whole lives."

"Oh? How'd you guys meet?"

"We were neighbours and our parents were friends so we grew up together, but we kind of hated each other until like, junior year," he says, tracing a finger around the rim of his cup. "Shit happened and we realized that neither of us was as bad as we thought. Been inseparable since."

Suddenly, he laughs. "Ask anyone from our hometown about Mike Wheeler and Max Mayfield, they'll tell you. Anyway," he adds, leaning forward, "We're heading out to Detroit tonight, it's our friend's birthday. We were wondering if you wanted to come? If you're off work, that is."

El's shocked, and she doesn't know what to say for a moment. Mike must take this the wrong way, because he says, "It's no problem if you don't want to! It's just, the others want to meet you. We talk a lot about you."

"You- you do?"

He smiles. "Yeah! You're really cool."

Her heart flutters, even though she tells herself not to let it. "Um- yeah, my- my shift ends at six-thirty, is that enough time?"

"Totally," he says enthusiastically. "We're all meeting up at mine and Max's place before we leave, I'll text you the address."

A few moments later, her phone buzzes, and when El looks at the address she's surprised to find that- "We live in the same building!"

"Oh, cool! We're on the eighth floor, apartment 8D," Mike says, pointing at her with his straw. "You should come by sometime."

El scoffs. "Yeah, maybe, if you need help with your humanities classes."

Mike's smile disappears and he clutches his chest dramatically. "You're starting to sound like Max! Where is the nice, kind El I once knew?! Where hath she gone?!"

She snorts, then covers her face, her eyes widening. "Oh my god, that was nasty. I am so sorry you had to hear that."

Mike shrugs. "It was kind of c-"

"Also, you're so dramatic," El adds, forging on.

He laughs again. "That's what happens when you have two sisters and end up living with Max Mayfield, biggest drama queen on the planet."

"I feel like she would dump your ass on the side of the road if she heard you say that," El says, tapping her nails against the table.

Mike snorts, taking a drink. "She would. I'm sure she's considered kicking me out just for breathing too loud sometimes."

El's about to respond when the door opens and a customer enters. "Well, guess it's time for me to get back to work!"

She's not free for another hour, and by then it's six-fifteen. When she looks around the store, she sees that Mike is gone. She frowns. She hadn't noticed him leave, but when she checks her phone for the text she'd gotten about half an hour ago it's from him.

Mike [5:43 PM]: Hey sorry I left without saying bye you looked busy but 8D around 8pm ok?

[6:16 PM]: I'll be there dw haha, she responds.

He texts back immediately. Mike [6:16 PM]: Cool see you soon :D

El slips her phone back into her pocket with a smile and turns to see one of the baristas for the shift after hers clocking in. "Hey," she says. "Kinda dead in here and I've got somewhere to be, do you mind if I clock out now?"

At quarter to eight, El's ready. As she makes her way to the eighth floor of her building, she's wondering what the others will be like. She likes Mike and Max just fine and they seem to like her, but will she fit in with the rest of the group? Then she's in front of 8D and she's knocking on the door. There's some muffled yelling from inside (likely arguing about who's going to open the door) and a few moments of silence before it swings open.

Max stands on the other side, dressed in a nice white blouse tucked into fitted black pants. She's got red lips, but other than that her makeup is pretty simple, and half of her hair is straightened. She grins. "Come on in, El. Mike'll be out in a second, he's just being a bitch. Michael!"

There's a muffled "I'm coming!" From somewhere inside the apartment, and then Mike comes out of a room at the end of a hall, messing up his own hair.

"Hi," El says as Max disappears back into what El assumes is the bathroom. "Since when is your hair curly?"

Mike blushes, actually blushes, putting his hands into his pants pockets. He's in a light blue polo and navy pants, a matching blazer thrown over top, and El thinks he looks great. The curly hair is new, though. "Uh, this is what it looks like if I don't blow dry it," he answers, laughing nervously. "Which I always do, but someone's hogging the bathroom!"

"Fuck off, Wheeler! You should've come home earlier but you were too busy ogling a certain someone to remember what time it was!"

At that, he blanches and stalks toward the bathroom door, wrenching it open. "Do you want to shut your mouth for once in your goddamn life, Max?"

Max doesn't answer, but El can hear her humming to herself, ignoring Mike completely. El wonders who he was staring at. Are Max and Mike having problems? For a second she lets herself be selfishly happy that they might, because maybe it'll give her an opening, but then she quickly reprimands herself for thinking that way. They're her friends, she's not going to wish something as horrible as a breakup on what seems to be a perfectly good relationship.

Mike gestures awkwardly around. "Shall I give you the tour? The others aren't here yet. Lucas said they've got him on a late night at the observatory, Max, by the way!" He calls toward the other girl.

Max curses. "And to think I was excited about tonight!"

"It's Dustin's birthday, we have to celebrate anyway! He's already bummed enough that Lucas isn't coming," Mike replies. He turns to El. "Anyway, that's the bathroom," he says, gesturing to where Max is. Motioning to the general area beyond the front door, he tells her it's the living room-slash-kitchen, which is made obvious by the TV/sofa combination on one side and kitchen appliances and furniture on the other. Also, the entire apartment is the same general layout as hers, but she lets him talk anyway. Listening to Mike talk is a guilty pleasure.

The only thing different from her apartment is the fact that this one has two rooms. "That's Max's," Mike says, leading El down the hall and pointing to the door left slightly ajar, "And this is mine." He opens the door directly across to reveal a nicely sized room with a queen-size bed and a dresser in it. It's not messy like she expected it to be, which is nice. It means Mike's not a messy person. What she does question, though, is why they sleep in separate rooms, but she keeps it to herself. Maybe Mike snores, or maybe Max is a kicker.

There's a knock on the door and Mike goes to get it, revealing a man a few inches taller than El with light brown hair and green eyes. He has a kind face, and El takes to him right away. "This is Will," Mike says, gesturing the man in. "Will, this is El."

Will smiles and extends a hand. "The El I've heard so much about?" A look passes between him and Mike, and then Mike glares at him and Will laughs. "It's nice to meet you."

"Likewise," El says. She stands in the living room with Will and Mike for a few minutes, talking, until there's another knock.

"That'll be Dustin," says Will, and Mike lets in another man with curly hair that's got a weird shape to it. It looks like he wears a hat over it all the time, and that's when El recognizes him as the hat-wearing guy from her abnormal psych class.

"Hey," she says. "I'm El." She extends a hand to shake one of his. "You're in Denton's class, right? The guy with the hat?"

Dustin grins. "You got me! And you must be the El we've all been waiting to meet. Mike talks about you a lot." He coughs, looking over her shoulder. "Um, Max does too," he adds.

El thinks it's a little weird that he specified that, but she's not going to question him about it. The four of them spend a few more minutes wishing Dustin a happy birthday and talking as they wait for Max, and El finds that she likes Will and Dustin a lot. They're easy to talk to and really funny. She feels like she is fitting in, after all. When Max emerges, she goes straight to the birthday boy to give him a big hug, and then pulls back and says, "El's coming with me, I want some girl time before we spend the entire night with you boys."

"Don't say anything weird to her, Max," groans Mike.

"Don't get your panties in such a twist then," she retorts.

Will and Dustin smile, used to their friends by now, and El just looks on in slight amusement. Max drives a Smart car, so it only fits two people anyway, and the three boys pile into Mike's blue Kia Forte before they all peel off to the interstate in the direction of Detroit.

The girls travel in comfortable fun, talking and making jokes as usual, but with the addition of singing along to the radio. It's all good and happy until twenty minutes into the drive when Max goes in for the kill.

"So... you like Mike, right?"

El almost chokes on her own spit. She's trying to hide her shock as she turns the radio down a little bit. "Um, yeah, I guess? We're friends," she says mildly.

Max smirks as if she knows something El doesn't and shakes her head. "You know that's not what I meant."

El swallows, tugging at one of her curls. Her crush's girlfriend is asking whether she likes him. What is she supposed to say to that? Turns out, Max already has an answer.

"I know you do, you're kinda obvious," she says. "Although I can see why you might not want to admit it. I think it'd be a little embarrassing to have a crush on that. But that's just me, I guess."

Now El's wondering what the hell is even happening. Max doesn't seem angry at all, quite the opposite in fact. She seems pleased that another girl has taken an interest in Mike. Which is... completely bizarre, to say the least. Maybe they want a threesome or something. "You're not mad?"

Max's eyes look like they're going to fall out of her head as she looks at El. "Why would I be mad?"

El looks down, wanting to avoid eye contact with the other girl. "I mean... if I had a boyfriend and another girl liked him, I don't think I'd be happy about it."

It's dead silent for a few moments but for the radio, until Max bursts out laughing.

"Oh my god!" She exclaims. "You thought he was my boyfriend?!"

El's cheeks flush in embarrassment. "Yeah..."

Max is still laughing. "I can't breathe," she wheezes. She's silent for a few moments before her face wrinkles. "He's not. That's so gross I can't even imagine it."

"But you guys are so close, I just thought..." El trails off, refusing to look at the redhead.

Max shakes her head. "Mike's like my brother, in every way. I don't even like him most of the time, I just put up with him."

El looks out the window, taking a deep breath to gather her courage, much like the first time she spoke to Max. "Okay, so I like him. Why did you want me to admit it?"

Max smirks again. "Tonight's the perfect night to make your move."

"Nope," El shakes her head. "I am way too anxious for that. Also, I don't want our friendship to be awkward if it doesn't go through."

"Why wouldn't it, though? He's liked you since you were in his classics lecture. You know-"

"He was in my classics?"

"Yes," Max says exasperatedly. "But that's not the point. You know we started going to Starbucks way more often after you got a job there? I'm broke because of his bitch ass wanting to see you all the time but never saying anything," she adds with an eye roll.

"I- okay," El says. "I'll try."

Max reaches out to clap her on the shoulder. "Atta girl! And for the record, I'm dating Lucas."

El smiles. "I'll keep that in mind for when I meet him."

Upon arriving in the city, El spends her time looking out the window and marvelling at the sights. She only passed through Detroit on her way to college the first year, and since she hasn't had many friends, she hasn't had many outings. The city is new to her, and she loves all the lights and colours and people walking around. Max pulls up in front of a small restaurant and the boys park behind her, everyone getting out of the cars and stretching for a moment before walking into the establishment.

El ends up beside Mike (because of course she does), Will and Max across from them and Dustin at the head of the table. Dinner runs smoothly besides Dustin burning his tongue on the soup he ordered, El fitting into the group seamlessly. It's looking to be a great night, but El's wondering how Max thinks she's supposed to make her move. She can't exactly do it in a restaurant, can she?

Her opportunity comes in the form of the group going to a club. Dustin's just turned twenty-one, but the rest of them are already overage so they might as well enjoy themselves, right? The three non-drivers have spent the last half hour or so knocking back mojitos, margaritas, and daiquiris, so Max and Mike are sitting off to the side enjoying watching their friends lose their inhibitions. El's very aware of the fact that she's drunk, but it's also literally liquid courage, so she's going to use it to her advantage. She's just drained her piña colada and slapped the glass back onto the bar when she grabs Mike's arm and tugs him away with her.

"Come dance with me," she says. She doesn't allow him time to respond before she's squeezed them into the mass of writhing people on the dance floor. He's moving along with her, but he's clearly feeling awkward if his erratic movements and half-smile are anything to go by.

"I'm not very good at dancing!" He yells in an attempt to be heard over the thumping bass.

"That's okay!" She yells back, swinging her hips and raising her arms. "Just move with me!" It's kind of funny, El thinks, that she's even doing this at all. Hanging out with Max must have made her develop some kind of outgoing kink (or maybe it's just the alcohol). Whatever it is, El's having a good time. Suddenly, a thought occurs to her. Mike's arms are just hanging limply by his sides, swinging around slightly as he rocks himself from side to side, but she would love to feel his hands on her. So she does the only logical thing: grabs his wrists and puts his hands on her waist.

He looks down at her in surprise but when he sees that she means business he lets his hands rest where they are and presses his fingers into the sliver of skin between her top and her jeans. That sends the best kind of shiver down her spine and Mike must feel it because he sends the most devilish grin her way. He's moving a little more in sync with her now because of where his hands are; he knows which way she's going to move right before she does it. They stay like that for a bit, progressively getting closer to each other until they're practically chest-to-chest and standing between each other's legs, but all of a sudden Mike gets a weird look on his face and rushes off to the restroom. El doesn't want to look like a fool dancing by herself, so she returns to the bar with a scowl. Upon seeing her, Max bursts out laughing.

"Did he leave you out there by yourself?" She asks, watching El order another cocktail.

El slumps against the bar and pouts. "We were having a good time dancing, I don't know why he left!"

The other girl cackles. "Probably went to go rub one out in the restroom!"

"Max!" El reaches out to slap her on the arm. "Don't be gross."

Max smirks. "He's a young man with needs, El! And also insanely attracted to you, I'm probably right."

El sends her a grumpy look and gratefully accepts her drink from the bartender. "Where's Will and Dustin?"

Max shrugs. "Dustin felt sick so he went outside to get some air, and I think Will saw a hot guy somewhere on the dance floor."

"He's gay?"

"Very," Max says. "You ever need guy advice, Will's the one you want. He's not called Will the Wise for nothing."

El takes a sip from her martini and nods thoughtfully as if considering, looking into the crowd. She perks up when she sees a mop of messy hair floating above it, correctly identifying the person as her man of interest. Mike slinks up to the bar and gives El a weak smile.

"Sorry about leaving," he says. "I just... had to use the restroom."

Max scoffs at him. "Sure, like we don't know why."

He throws her a look. "I swear to god, Mayfield. Where's the guys?"

Max rolls her eyes and El stays silent, sipping some more martini. "Dustin's outside getting some air and Will saw a hot guy somewhere."

"Mm," Mike agrees. "I did see some. Michigan's got more hot guys than Indiana ever did, that's for sure."

Max laughs and El looks up at Mike curiously. "You like guys too?"

He nods. "Mostly girls, but every now and then I'll see a really good-looking man and remember that the grass is green on both sides."

El hums before poking him in the arm. "You look like a frog, did you know that?"

Max tries and fails to hold back a snort and Mike looks hurt for a second before regaining composure. "Really?"

"I think so," El says, and giggles. "But I like frogs, they're cute. And! I had to do a project on frogs in second grade and I always liked them. Froggy froggy froggy," she adds, with a poke on each 'froggy'.

All things considered, it's a good night. Dustin doesn't throw up, Will gets the guy's number, and El gets in a few more dances with Max. When they're leaving, Max volunteers to take Dustin home.

"He rooms with Lucas," says Mike knowingly. "She probably won't come back."

He bundles Will and El into his car with him, and the two of them sit in the back gushing about the guy who caught Will's eye the entire way home. After they drop Will off at his place, the first floor of a duplex about two blocks away, El's almost asleep and Mike has to practically drag her out of the car and into their building. He's got an arm hooked around her waist to help her, but that just means his body heat is radiating even further. She kind of wants to latch onto him and curl up like a baby koala on its mother, but she still has enough self-restraint not to.

"El," he says, "El, which floor are you on?"

"Fourteenth," she answers sleepily. "But I don't know where my key is. I wanna sleep."

Mike sighs. "Is it okay if you stay over? Max probably won't be back, so you can take her bed. I don't want to take you upstairs and then have you spend forever looking for your key."

"Okay."

And that's how she ends up spending the night in her crush's apartment. It's a good sleep, but she wakes in the morning with a bad headache and a terrible taste in her mouth. Her whole body hurts. The only good things are that someone's left an aspirin and a glass of water on the bedside table, and that she can smell something cooking.

El takes the pill and then groans when she looks at her phone and sees that it's only nine o'clock. Seems her body clock is still working. She hears steps coming down the hall, deducing that the noise was loud enough to attract the attention of whoever was in the kitchen.

Mike's head pops into the room, a sunny smile attached to his face. "Good morning, sleepyhead!"

"Fuck this shit."

He frowns. "Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed today."

"My hangovers are terrible."

"Are there good hangovers?" He asks with a laugh. "Come on, I'm making breakfast. Hope you like waffles!"

The truth of the matter is that waffles are actually El's favourite food, so she rushes to get herself to the kitchen.

"Waffles are the best food, no contest," she says, watching as Mike takes fresh waffles out of a waffle toaster and puts them on a plate.

"Well, then I hope mine will live up to your expectations," he answers, setting the plate in front of her and turning back to the machine.

He's laid out whipped cream and some other stuff (syrup, M&Ms, and strawberries) on the table, so El puts some of each on her waffles and digs in. They're heavenly. They're fluffy on the inside and crispy on the outside, just the right texture and sweetness. She nearly cries with delight.

Mike seems to pick up on this, because he's sort of smirking when he joins her at the table. "You like?"

"Do I?" El exclaims. "Best waffles I've ever tasted!"

He's smiling as he digs into his own plate of crispy deliciousness. "I'm glad you like them, but if you want really good waffles you should go to Belgium."

"I'm too poor for that," El says around a mouthful. She swallows. "College student, and all? But I'd love to. Where'd you learn to make waffles this good?"

"I used to work at Waffle House in high school. The only reason they didn't fire me before I left was that I was the best damn waffle maker that town ever had."

"But?"

"But what?"

"I sense that there's a but here."

Mike laughs. "But I learned to cook with my mom. My younger sister was too little to cook, my older sister was useless in the kitchen, and my dad is…" He trails off. "Anyway, I liked cooking and I was good help, so my mom sort of took me under her wing and showed me the ropes. I can cook pretty much anything if you give me a recipe, but baking is a whole other ball game," he says, making gestures with his fork.

"Good to know you and Max aren't starving all the time, then," El replies dryly. She's smiling.

Mike squints at her. "You're something, El. Really something."

After that, Mike starts coming into her Starbucks by himself often. Two months go by where there's not a day that she doesn't see him, whether it be at Starbucks by himself and with Max, or in their apartment building. Upon discovering that the three of them live in the same one, Max and Mike have hung out with El a lot more. He also texts her frequently.

Frogge 🐸[4:53 PM]: victreebel.mov

It's a video of Victreebel screeching.

[4:53 PM]: Why do u text me such weird shit

Frogge 🐸[4:53 PM]: I thought it was funny :(

[4:54 PM]: I'm working

Frogge 🐸[4:54 PM]: And I'm impatient

[4:55 PM]: Hi impatient I'm El.

She puts her phone in her pocket just in time to get the finished cup of coffee to the customer, then pulls it back out again.

[4:56 PM]: Come inside for 5 mins dumbass I'm almost done

Within a literal half-second, Mike's standing at the door in all his windswept glory. It's a windy April day outside, most of which El had avoided by arriving at work before the wind picked up. Unfortunately, Mike hasn't been so lucky, coming to meet her as soon as his exam finished. Two days ago, he'd texted her in the middle of the night asking when she was free.

Frogge 🐸[2:34 AM]: Ellie

[2:34 AM]: Mike its 2:34 am

Frogge 🐸[2:34 AM]: You're awake too whats your point

[2:35 AM]: Yes froggy

Frogge 🐸[2:35 AM]: Smh that's so rude

Frogge 🐸[2:35 AM]: When are you free

[2:35 AM]: U have distracted me from my sleep for this

[2:35 AM]: U could've easily asked me in the morning

Frogge 🐸[2:36 AM]: I couldn't sleeeeeeep

[2:36 AM]: Not my fault

Frogge 🐸[2:36 AM]: El please

Frogge 🐸[2:36 AM]: Its important

[2:36 AM]: Wednesday after 5 or Friday after 6:30

[2:37 AM]: Why

Frogge 🐸[2:37 AM]: :DDDDDD

Frogge 🐸[2:37 AM]: You'll see :)

Frogge 🐸[2:37 AM]: Wednesday !

She has no idea what it is that he has planned, but as she removes her barista apron and clocks out, he's bouncing on his feet, a huge smile on his face. "You really look like a frog when you smile like that," she says, reaching up to give him a hug. It's become their customary greeting since he started it a few days after that morning in his apartment, and every time it happens it leaves El happy with a positive, glowing warmth around her. It makes her wonder if kissing him would have the same effect.

"Come on," he answers excitedly, latching onto her hand and pulling her out the door. The wind is blustering but that doesn't stop Mike from tugging El down the street with gusto, only coming to a stop when they reach the Subway near the corner of Packard and S State.

Once inside, El smiles and asks, "Out of one food place and into another?"

Mike waves her off. "Subway is better than Starbucks," he says, leading her to the counter.

"And yet you're in Starbucks almost every day," she retorts.

He rolls his eyes before looking up at the menu. "Yeah, but that's only because you're there."

She doesn't know what to say to that.

They each order a sandwich because, well, it's Subway, and a bag of chips. El doesn't finish hers, so it's more like Mike ends up eating a bag and a half. It's as he's sitting back, patting his stomach, that El finally lets her curiosity get the best of her.

"So why'd you bring me here?"

He grins. "Alright, so here's the thing. I don't know what your plans are for the summer-"

"Don't really have any, besides working," she interrupts.

"Okay, great! That's awesome," he says. "So I'm going to Lisbon for four days and my sister was supposed to come with me, but something important came up at work and she can't go. So-" here he pauses for dramatic effect- "She cancelled her plane ticket and sent me the money 'cause it was my birthday present to her, but since there's reservations for two and I've been saving for a while I didn't want to waste that. I can take someone with me."

El's not sure she knows where he's going with this. Is he really-?

"And I wanted you to come. If you want to?" He asks this in such a hopeful tone, El can't help but want to.

"But- what about Max? Or the others?"

"Max is going home with Lucas for the summer to meet his parents and I haven't asked the others, but I really wanted you to come, El," Mike says softly. "It's fine if you don't want to, I understand."

"No!" She laughs nervously, rushing to fix her mistake. "I'd love to come, I'm sure I can get one week off. I'm just- you really want me to come with you?"

"I really want you to come with me everywhere in general," he jokingly responds. "I think it'll be great. And I mean, they might not have the best waffles, but I hear their food is to die for?"

The week after is a flurry of bookings (a train and plane ticket for El, and booking off work). The two of them will leave Ann Arbor for Chicago on June fourth at seven-twenty AM for their twelve fifty-five flight to Washington D.C., where they'll have a six-and-a-half hour layover before getting on their way overnight to Lisbon. If everything goes to plan, they should be in another country by ten thirty-five AM local time.

El's the most excited she's ever been. Getting to explore a foreign country? Sign her up! She's never left the States before. The only thing she's worried about is not speaking the language, but Mike assures her that they'll be bound to find someone who speaks English. After all, it's not like they'll be in the middle of nowhere; they'll be in a city of millions. And, he adds, tourism is one of Portugal's biggest money-makers, so there's gotta be translators somewhere.

It also gets Max off El's back about telling Mike about her steadily growing feelings. She hasn't attempted anything since the night at the club, letting her slight anxieties get the best of her. He'd seemed into what was happening, and according to Max he likes El a lot, but there is also his weird escape to the restroom and that's what El's brain holds onto. She's afraid that he'll run in the other direction if she so much as tries to hint that she holds anything besides friendly feelings for him, even though she's smart enough to pick up on his blatant affection for her. Max makes El promise that she'll do something about it on their trip.

The group finishes off their school year in relatively high spirits, and Max leaves almost immediately with Lucas. They're going to road trip and sightsee for a few weeks before heading to Lucas' home in Delaware. El, Will, and Mike all have jobs to busy themselves with, but Will is going home to Maine to visit his mom and then New York to visit his brother at the end of the month. Dustin is preparing to take on an internship at a bioengineering company that will hopefully help land him a job when he's finished with his education. When they've got free time they all like to hang out at someone's place and enjoy it, but since Mike and El live merely floors apart they hang out most often. In fact, Mike has taken to falling asleep on El's couch at least once a week, coming up for dinner when he doesn't invite her down instead (he claims he misses Max and doesn't like eating alone).

Eventually, Will has gone off to Maine and the morning of El's first international venture dawns bright and clear. Her bags have been packed for a few days now, all she needs to do is one last clean sweep of her apartment before going downstairs to make sure her travel partner isn't still sleeping. When she knocks, the door swings open and a very dishevelled Mike is standing on the other side. She laughs at the mess of hair on his head, just as she does every other morning she sees him like this, and thinks that it really isn't going to take much longer for her to truly be in love.

"It is six in the fucking morning," he says, pulling her through the door, "and I have just ingested approximately three gallons of caffeine. This is ungodly."

"I'm fairly sure three gallons of straight-up caffeine would make you overdose or something," she responds, leaning against the kitchen table and watching him putter around straightening blankets before streaking down the hall to his room.

"I haven't gotten up this early in years!"

On the train to Chicago (which they have to take because Mike's sister Nancy lives there so it's where the flight is scheduled from), they look out the windows for a bit but mostly sleep. An alarm is set so that they don't end up sleeping through the stop. They make it to O'Hare just in time for check-in and boarding, and then they're on their way to D.C. Once there, they head into the city to have lunch and take a tour of Capitol Hill before switching airports for the red-eye to Lisbon. El is fascinated to see all the buildings where the nation's greatest decisions take place, to stand where thousands have stood during events that made history. Mike's just sort of tagging along, having been to D.C. before, but she thinks he's enjoying himself nonetheless.

The flight is uneventful other than some light turbulence when they're about an hour out from landing, and the fact that Mike falls asleep on her. El's freaking out internally when he lays his head on her shoulder, but continues to watch the movie in front of her as if nothing's happening. It makes her feel warm inside.

As the plane approaches land, El can see the blue, sparkling ocean spread out beneath her and little orange roofs dotting the landscape ahead. "Hey, why are the roofs orange?" She asks, shrugging her shoulder a little bit to get Mike's attention.

He looks out the window, squinting as if that's going to make them hear each other better (their ears have yet to pop). "They're made of tiles instead of shingles, that's just their colour."

"That's cool."

A few moments of silence later, Mike lifts his head off her shoulder and says, "So, you excited?"

"Yeah!" El exclaims. "What are we doing first?"

Mike laughs. "I think we're sleeping, you're gonna want to crash the second you get off this plane."

He's right, of course, if only partially; she doesn't want to sleep the second she gets off, she wants to sleep as soon as the stress of border control and baggage claim are over. She does sleep a bit on the way from the airport to where they're staying, only waking up long enough to get inside and collapse in the first bedroom she comes across.

When El wakes up it's dark out the window, and she sees that it's past midnight when her phone buzzes on the bedside table. She wonders for a moment how she's getting messages if she didn't connect her phone to wifi, but realizes that Mike must have done it. He's her best friend at this point, so he does know her passcode. It's the group chat, so she scrolls to the top to see what they were talking about.

Frogge 🐸[12:34 PM]: hey guys I know it's barely morning for you but just wanted to say we're here

Maxie [1:47 PM]: good flight?

Dustin [2:16 PM]: they're probably both sleeping off the jet lag

Will [3:58 PM]: yeah mike'll probably wake up first, he sleeps on flights doesn't he

Maxie [4:00 PM]: probably

Maxie [4:00 PM]: miCHAEL WAKE THE FUCK UP

Maxie [4:01 PM]: ELEANOR WHERE U AT

Lucas [4:02 PM]: that's a lot of probablys

Dustin [4:07 PM]: they'll be back dw about it

Will [4:10 PM]: yeah don't wake them

Maxie [4:32 PM]: u right if u wake mike too early he'll kill u

Maxie [4:33 PM]: idk about el but since they're a match made in heaven she's probs the same

Will [4:35 PM]: so I'm not the only one seeing it then

Dustin [4:36 PM]: will do u think the rest of us r blind

Maxie [4:36 PM]: ok gotta go me and Lucas are leaving now

Will [4:37 PM]: have fun

Dustin [4:37 PM]: don't die

Frogge 🐸[11:46 PM]: can you guys not

Frogge 🐸[11:47 PM]: yes the flight was good, I fell asleep but el told me it was fine

Frogge 🐸[11:47 PM]: just a little turbulence like an hour before we landed

Will [11:53 PM]: you guys slept literally the entire day?

Frogge 🐸[11:55 PM]: No I woke up in the middle of the afternoon to go pee and then I went to some random store to buy food but I didn't check my phone

Frogge 🐸 [11:56 PM]: idk if el has woken up today but she didn't sleep at all on the plane so probably not

Max [12:01 AM]: why'd u go buy food aren't u in a hotel

Frogge 🐸[12:02 AM]: no we're in this place it's like an apartment and you pay for it like a hotel but it's cheaper Lisbon has a lot of these

Frogge 🐸[12:02 AM]: also if we go grocery shopping it's cheaper than eating out 3 times a day for a week

Lucas [12:03 AM]: so where is she

Frogge 🐸[12:03 AM]: sleeping

Frogge 🐸[12:03 AM]: yeah I think she's still asleep

[12:04 AM]: incorrect I have returned to the world of the conscious

Frogge 🐸[12:04 AM]: great come eat! I saved you some food

Will [12:04 AM]: El: wakes up

Will [12:04 AM]: Mike: 😍

Frogge 🐸[12:05 AM]: shut up will bye

[12:05 AM]: lol I'm coming

El makes her way to the bathroom to freshen up a little before going down the hall, where she finds Mike standing by the open window in the living room area cradling a cup of what appears to be milk.

"Hey," she says, poking him in the back.

He turns around with a smile and hands a second mug to her, also full of milk. "Milk fills you up but also makes you sleepy," he answers.

"Thanks for the fact," El quips in return, taking the cup. She leans out the window to look at the city around them and sips. "Is that a river?"

"Yup. The Tagus."

"Weird name."

Mike laughs quietly and throws his free arm over her shoulder, dark eyes sparkling. "Things usually sound a little better in their native language, but I don't know how to pronounce it properly."

El hums in response. "It looks like a beautiful city, though, I can't wait to explore."

"Then we should probably get some more sleep to wake up early, huh? There's toast on the counter for you if you want it," he says, chugging what's left of his milk before depositing his cup in the sink and going back into the room he's claimed as his.

It's silent for a few moments but for the slight rustle of bedsheets as El drinks the remnants of her milk and Mike settles in. Then: "Night, El!"

She rolls her eyes, but her heart warms and a smile blooms on her face. "Night, Mike."

El wakes up again around nine hours later, feeling fully refreshed but confused. She was awoken by a loud crash, and blinks her eyes open to see her friend lying on the floor in her doorway. "What are you doing?" She yawns.

"Can I just die here?" Mike says. "I fell coming to wake you up."

El can't help but laugh at the mental image that conjures, but it gets so funny that she has to bury her face in her pillow to muffle the giggles.

"It's not that funny, El!"

She feels the mattress sink next to her and immediately flips over to push Mike away when he starts to tickle her. "S-stop!" She shrieks. "I can't breathe!"

"Never!" He tickles her with renewed fervour until she manages to kick him away, at which point he flops down onto the mattress and smiles at her. The sun is coming in through the window and it backlights his hair in a way that makes him look like there's a halo on his head, which El thinks is appropriate because he is the closest a human can get to an angel. She smiles back.

"So what's on the agenda for today?"

That first day is spent lounging by the river for a while and taking pictures, followed by walking around the downtown streets. Some of them are wide and full of shops and people, and others are narrow, steep hills that look like they'd be impossible to navigate by car. What do pass are these little things that look like three-wheeled mopeds with bench seats and a roof, and they roar up and down the busy streets at what looks like should be an impossible speed for the incline of the roads. Mike tells her they're a tourist thing, so who knows, they might end up in one too.

The night ends with dinner in a nearby restaurant, which serves not quite the best food El's ever had (after all, homemade always has that touch of… something that makes it special) but it is a good dining experience. Mike was right, all of the people they've interacted with have been able to speak English or direct them to someone who does, so they're able to enjoy the meal without having to worry about misunderstandings. In all, El's first day out of the United States is a dashing success.

The second day begins with a shower straight out of bed, after which El realizes that she's the only one awake, so she dresses and makes herself breakfast. She's sitting at the table reading a tourist magazine and sipping coffee when her travel companion stumbles into the kitchen, bleary-eyed and with quite the bedhead.

She grins. "Top of the morning to you, Mr. Rat's Nest," she greets him.

Mike blinks at her. "What?"

El feels like her smile is going to break her face. She could get used to seeing him like this every morning. He looks more like a boy than the young man he is, and less stressed too. What a sight. She could just combust from looking at him and she'd be happy about it.

"Your hair," she answers, gesturing to his head, where his hand follows and settles in the nest as if to confirm that his hair is indeed as much of a mess as she's making it out to be.

Mike glares half-heartedly. "I'll thank you to leave me and my hair alone. I haven't fixed it."

"Whatever you say," she replies, smirking back into her mug.

He putters around the kitchen for a few moments before suddenly whipping around. "Is that black?"

El raises her brows. "Straight," she says, slurping obnoxiously.

"I can't believe my- you drink black coffee?" Mike interrupts himself before he finishes his sentence, but it's already kind of too late.

"Your what?"

He looks away. "Nothing." He turns back to the fridge, taking milk out of it and pouring it into a mug. El's still watching when he shakes his head and mutters, "Black coffee."

"I'll thank you to leave me and my black coffee alone," she retorts, but she's smiling again. It's almost impossible how happy this man makes her.

A few minutes later, when Mike is sitting across from her with his toast and drink (it's honestly more milk than coffee but since it is a mix, she guesses it could be considered a latte), El speaks again. "My dad used to drink his coffee black."

"He used to?"

"Yeah, I-" She falters.

Mike reaches out for her hand and cups his around hers on the mug. "You don't have to talk about it."

"No, I-" She shakes her head quickly. She will tell him. "My mom was a drug addict and she died when I was born."

Mike's grip on her hand tightens and El's grateful for it. He's always been a reassuring presence. "I'm so sorry."

"It's- fine, really, I- anyway." She clears her throat. "My mom died giving birth to me and no one knew who my dad was. But I was adopted as a baby, by a man who had lost his daughter a few years before. He's the one I grew up with. His name was Jim. Jim Hopper."

El's feeling the tears build up and she's thinking that maybe she should stop talking, but she also thinks that this is something Mike should know about her before anything else happens. "He was a cop. But he was such a loving person. He took care of me, he gave me room to grow, he played with me, he taught me, he loved me." At that she lets the tears flow. Where did the joy of five minutes ago disappear to? It never hurts any less when she thinks about him, it just gets easier to deal with. She can still see his smiling face and hear his laugh, and it pulls a hiccupy sob out of her.

"What happened to him?" Mike asks softly.

"One night, when I was thirteen, he was called out on emergency," she says, looking at their joined hands on the mug in front of her. "And he never came back. He was killed on the job."

Mike doesn't say anything, but she meets his eyes and sees something in them that warms her. It's this moment, the most vulnerable she's ever been in front of him, that makes her realize: she's not falling, she's already fallen.

El looks away. "After that, well. I got put in the system. But nobody wants to adopt a teenager, so I just got bumped around from foster home to foster home until I was eighteen. Then I was left to fend for myself," she laughs. "Good thing I turned eighteen in the summer, otherwise I probably would've had to drop out of high school and work."

"So you're older than me?" Mike asks.

El rolls her eyes and sniffs. "I just spilled my entire life story to you and that's what you ask?"

Mike smiles, and it squeezes her heart in a good way. "Well, it's not like you're a criminal or something. It could be worse if you did illegal shit. But I'm sorry that happened to you."

El looks back into her cup of coffee, the catalyst of this entire conversation. "Well, yeah. He never would've allowed me to drink coffee a way other than black, so that's how I take it. It reminds me of him."

When they're on their way out the door to another day of adventure, Mike stops her and pulls her into a tight hug. He looks directly into her eyes when he pulls away. "If you ever need something, I'm always here for you."

She nods. "Thank you."

Everything is going well until they make a turn down some side street that was supposed to be a shortcut and end up getting lost.

"Mike," El pleads for the fifth time, "Let's just ask someone for help?"

"No," he answers, "I've got this. Just a second." He's still looking at the map they were using to try and get to the castle. The two of them were on their way to Castelo de São Jorge, the castle on top of a hill from which you could get "wicked views of the city and river", but unfortunately they'd gotten turned around in the maze of windy cobblestone alleys and had no idea where they were. Neither of them had gotten a roaming plan either, so using a GPS is out of the question unless they want to pay a hefty sum at the end of the month.

El huffs impatiently. "You've been saying that for the last ten minutes!" She throws her arms up in exasperation and walks back down to the nearest corner, leaving Mike squinting at the map uselessly in the hopes that she'll find someone to help.

She stands on the corner and waits for someone to walk by, finding a target within a few minutes. It's a woman who looks like she might be around El's age or older, with wavy, long brown hair and striking green eyes that El notices from feet away. She's carrying some shopping bags and walking down the street with a wide smile on her face. She looks approachable, but El's having a hard time screwing up the courage to talk to her.

Luckily, the woman seems to notice El's slight distress and stops in front of her.

"Español?" She asks.

El shakes her head. "English?"

The woman smiles again. "Are you lost?"

El's relief is great. The woman speaks perfect English, so El doesn't have to stand there and make a fool of herself trying to be understood.

"Oh thank god," she breathes. "Yes. My friend and I are trying to get to the castle but we got lost and he's still looking at the map."

"Men," the woman says, shaking her head ruefully. "I can take you there, if you want. My name's Sabrina."

El smiles shyly. "I'm El."

"Alright, El," says Sabrina, hefting her bags. "I'm going to leave these at home real quick and I'll meet you here in a few minutes, it's just down the street."

She starts walking in the direction she was originally going and vanishes around a corner. El's a little worried that it was a mean joke and Sabrina's not going to come back at all, but she turns around and calls Mike anyway.

"Hey!" She yells, cupping her hands around her mouth. Mike's head jerks up from the map he is still looking at. "I found someone to help us!"

He starts jogging down the street and joins her on the corner in a few moments.

"Where are they?" He asks, furrowing his brows.

"She had some shopping bags so she went to leave them at home, but she said she'd meet us here soon."

"Okay, cool. She speak English?"

El nods. "Perfectly. Sounds just like us."

A few minutes later, El sees Sabrina coming back in their direction. "There she is!"

Mike squints. "You sure she's not going to kidnap us?"

El elbows him. "Be grateful. We're lost because of you, smart one."

Mike rolls his eyes but doesn't say anything else as Sabrina walks up to them.

"Hey!" She greets. "I'm assuming you're El's friend? I'm Sabrina."

"Mike," Mike answers, shaking the hand Sabrina extends. "Heard you could help us get to the castle?"

"Glad to help!" Sabrina leads them down to the end of the street they had been on, makes a left, and keeps walking.

"So," says Mike curiously, "not to be offensive or anything, but how come you speak English so well? We haven't met anyone here who speaks like you do."

Sabrina waves a hand and makes a right. "It's not offensive, don't worry about it. I was actually born and grew up in Canada, but my parents moved back when I was eighteen so I moved too. I decided to live down here instead of up north with them."

El nods along, trying to pay attention to where they're turning so that they can find their way back later.

"It's a very pretty city, from what we've seen," she says.

Sabrina smiles. "There's just something here, right? Porto is very nice too but I love Lisbon."

A few minutes of mindless chatter later, after they've made another right and then two lefts and one more right, Sabrina pauses and asks, "So you guys are Americans, right?"

El laughs. "Are we really that obvious?"

Sabrina shakes her head. "I knew it! There's something about you. Also, I tend to meet more American tourists than Canadians."

"We're from Michigan," adds Mike. "I was supposed to be here with my sister, actually, but she cancelled last minute and El agreed to come instead, lucky for me."

"You don't have to sound so unhappy about it, you ass," El says, poking him in the side.

"Maybe I don't really like you, ever think of that?" He answers, then sticks his tongue out her. It's such a childish action that El doesn't even know how to react, so she just shakes her head and walks faster.

Sabrina looks like she's about to laugh at them, but instead she opts for asking, "Are you sure you guys are friends?"

El can sense the underlying secondary question that she knows the other woman is not going to ask, and she wonders herself what the answer to that is.

Mike, however, either ignores it or doesn't notice at all, as he throws an arm over El's shoulders and pulls her close. "Nah, I love her. El's the best."

Her heart skips several beats at his words, but she ignores it for the time being. She's been dealing with this for months at this point, she's a pro at pretending Mike doesn't make her feel like she's going to float away at any second.

Sabrina just smirks knowingly and stops walking at the bottom of a steep hill a moment later. "Okay," she says, "You can see the walls from here. Just go up this hill and you'll find your way. It was nice meeting you guys, enjoy your trip!"

Both of them say their thank yous and watch as Sabrina walks away and vanishes around a corner back the way she came.

"She was nice," remarks Mike, shielding his eyes against the sun as he looks up.

"Good thing I talked to her, otherwise we'd probably still be lost."

"Oh, come on!"

They're almost at the top of the hill when El falls. She's slightly behind Mike and gets so distracted by the shape of his shoulders that she doesn't see a cobblestone sticking slightly out from the rest. She lands with a loud thump and sees Mike whip around.

"Hey, are you okay?" He asks concernedly, reaching down to help her up.

El grips his hand firmly, the warmth from it bleeding into her and causing her face to flush as she stands. She hopes that if Mike notices, he chalks it up to the outside temperature.

But then he doesn't let go. And El isn't about to either, so…

They end up walking around looking for the ticket booth while holding hands. El's pretty sure it's the sweatiest her hand has ever been, which is gross, but it's so nice to hold Mike's hand that she's not even really thinking about it. They only separate to have an argument about who's paying for the tickets (which El wins by stating that she will not speak to Mike for the rest of the trip if he doesn't let her take care of it) and then gravitate tentatively back together as they enter into the castle grounds.

There are a ton of tourists inside, but Mike and El join a group being led by a guide who explains the history of the castle and surrounding area. It's quite interesting, especially for people like both Mike and El who think of themselves as low-key history buffs (they've watched a lot of documentaries on the History Channel together, sue them).

Afterward, they walk around on their own, taking pictures of the skyline and the river. They take pictures of each other, then get a random group of German tourists to take ones of them together, and it's just a good morning all around.

Back at the apartment for lunch, Mike cooks a delicious pot of farfalle with Alfredo sauce, which he takes a picture of and posts on his Instagram story. A few minutes later, El gets a notification.

m_mayfield sent you mwheels' story.

m_mayfield: HE NEVER COOKS THIS NICE FOR ME

m_mayfield: EL COME GET UR MANS LMAOOO

lhppr: I'm literally with him

lhppr: He is in front of me right now

lhppr: Watching me message u with a very suspicious face

m_mayfield: tell him I said he's stupid

"Max said you're stupid," El says noncommittally.

Mike rolls his eyes as he sets down their plates. "Tell her I love her too."

lhppr: He said he loves u too

m_mayfield: atta boy :)

m_mayfield: so u guys fuck yet

lhppr: Omg Max

lhppr: No why the hell

lhppr: I feel like u would find out from him first anyway jesus

lhppr: We held hands today tho it was so nice! He has nice hands!!!!!!!!!!!!

m_mayfield: ( ͡°👅 ͡°)

lhppr: DO NOT

lhppr: WE ARE ABOUT TO EAT I AM ABORTING THIS CONVERSATION GOODBYE

El slips her phone into her pocket and ignores the buzzes as she digs into her plate of pasta.

"So what did Max want?" Mike asks, stabbing the pasta onto the fork and bringing it to his mouth.

El gets distracted by his lips for a second (wow those are also… really nice…) but shakes herself out of it before he notices. She smiles. "Nothing, she just sent me your story and told me that you never cook this nice for her."

Mike swallows his food, then scoffs. "I have cooked whole roast chickens for her. That liar."

"Whole roast chickens?"

"And potatoes, and rice."

"Sounds nice."

He nods. "It's her favourite food, so whenever she needs a pick-me-up."

And ugh, Mike is just too sweet for his own good. El can all too easily imagine him taking the time to cook something special for his friends to cheer them up, and when she imagines him doing it for her it makes her want to kiss him more than usual.

For the afternoon, Mike and El decide to go on one of those little three-wheeled things and take a tour around the city. The drivers know all the cool spots, after all. Theirs takes them on a two-hour tour, stopping at a bunch of churches to explain their history (the interior of one is made entirely of gold, apparently) as well as lookout points and other important buildings. They're able to get off at some locations to take pictures, which is also really great. El's phone's camera roll is quickly becoming filled.

At the end, the driver leaves them back where they started, but it's too early for dinner, so Mike suggests they go souvenir shopping. Lord knows Max would kill them if they dared to go home without souvenirs for her.

"Hey," says El, scrutinizing the window display in front of them, "Do you think Dustin would want a duck?"

"Dustin would go for a duck."

For Dustin, El and Mike buy a bright green rubber duck. It has #LisbonDuckStore printed on the side. Will's getting a specialty jar of Nutella, which El buys another jar of for herself because waffles. Lucas gets a tiny pair of novelty binoculars, but Max is harder to shop for. For her, they end up buying name keychains that have a little Lisboa charm hanging from the end. There's no Max, so El buys a Maria and Mike gets an Xavier, and then they mix up the letters on one chain to spell her name.

The pair heads back to the apartment for dinner, then go for a walk along the riverside as it's getting dark. El's trying not to think too much about the fact that Mike keeps glancing at her. He looks nervous and she doesn't really want to consider why that might be.

But then… she hears a sharp intake of breath and feels his hand fumble against hers, so she takes the plunge and laces their fingers, heart in her throat. She doesn't look at him for a few seconds, just to gauge what's going on, but when she does she's faced with an adorable sight. He's looking at their hands and smiling, the tips of his ears pink and the same pinkness spreading across the apples of his cheeks.

Neither of them says anything for a few minutes, just walking and enjoying the bubbly feeling between them that El knows she isn't imagining. Mike starts swinging their joined hands lightly before he breaks the silence.

"So, I have something embarrassing to tell you," he starts.

El's intrigued. "What?"

"You were in Doddmann's classics lecture last year," Mike says, now blushing deeply.

"I know."

"So was I."

"I know."

"You know?"

"Max told me."

At this, he blanches. "Um, well… basically, I had a huge crush on you. And I didn't even know you yet, so that's embarrassing."

El already knew this months ago, thanks to Max, and she tells him as much. "I just wasn't expecting to actually hear it from you," she adds.

Mike's avoiding her gaze now, looking at the river beside them instead. "You didn't think it was weird? That I was weird?"

El laughs. "Let me tell you something embarrassing. I thought you and Max were a thing."

"Are you serious? Ew!" Mike exclaims. "I would never. She would never."

"Well, I didn't know any better!" El defends. "It was a good excuse not to talk to you."

Mike quirks an eyebrow curiously. "Why didn't you want to talk to me?"

"You make me nervous."

"…I make you nervous. Me. The human stick man."

El sighs. "Not so much anymore now that we've gotten to know each other, but you used to. I felt like I was about to fly through the ceiling every time you came to order. Know why? I was crushing on you too, hugely and stupidly. I didn't even know you."

Mike's beautiful smile returns. "Guess we're just a couple of idiots, huh?"

El feels like her face might break. "Guess so."

They walk along silently observing others on the sidewalk for a little more before Mike speaks again. "Bet you're wondering why I told you that, right?"

She was, but she wasn't going to say it. "Yeah, I guess."

"Well," says Mike dramatically, "If it wasn't already obvious, I still like you. A lot more now, actually. If this keeps going at the rate it's going then I'm about to fall in love with you."

El doesn't respond for a moment and she swears she can hear him swallow.

"Was that too much?" He asks, and she can hear the nervousness in his voice back in full force. "It's totally cool if you don't feel the same way, I just thought… you know… you should know."

She now has two options: either confess now or do it later in private, but she kind of doesn't want to wait. The sun is almost gone over the horizon, bathing the sky in brilliant reds and oranges, and it's warm and their walk has been so indescribably good that El just-

She has to stand on tiptoe to reach him, but she pulls Mike's head down by the back of his neck and kisses him.

Later, the group chat blows up.

Maxie [9:37 PM]: HWAT THE FUKC IS THIS

Maxie [9:37 PM]: IMG.294

Maxie [9:37 PM]: IS THIS REAL LIFE?

Dustin [9:38 PM]: or is this just fantasy…

Maxie [9:38 PM]: DUSTIN I DO NOT NEED U TO QUOTE QUEEN LYRICS AT ME I NEED AN EXPLANTAIAN

Maxie [9:38 PM]: ELEANOR HOPPER U EXPLAIN UR RECENT RIGHT TEH FKUC NOW

El had posted a picture she'd taken with Mike by the river after their unexpected confessional. He had his arm around her shoulders as he took the photo and she had hidden her face against his chest out of embarrassment, but she ended up liking the picture so much that she posted it to her Instagram captioned simply with a heart. Max had sent a screenshot of it to the group and also left multiple scandalized comments on the post itself.

Maxie [9:39 PM]: MICHAEL EXPLAIN THIS

Maxie [9:39 PM]: I WILL TELL UR MOTHER

The two of them are watching Max's messages come in on El's phone and at this, El starts laughing as Mike whips out his own phone to start typing furiously.

Frogge 🐸[9:40 PM]: DONT TELL MY MOM

Frogge 🐸[9:40 PM]: ID LIKE TO HAVE A GIRLFRIEND IN PEACE FOR A LITTLE BEFORE SHE FINDS OUT

Maxie [9:40 PM]: OH SO SHES UR GIRLFRIEND NOW???????????

Maxie [9:40 PM]: ( ✧≖ ͜ʖ≖)

Will [9:41 PM]: but are you really surprised tho?

Will [9:41 PM]: idk about you guys but I was expecting this

Dustin [9:42 PM]: ✧·ﾟ: *✧·ﾟ *( ͡˘̴  ʖ̫ ͡˘̴ )* ･ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧

[9:42 PM]: love how Lucas is just absent

Will [9:42 PM]: he doesn't like chaos

Lucas [9:43 PM]: max was legit screaming my ear off sorry I was too busy recovering to answer

Lucas [9:43 PM]: but I'm happy for you guys

[9:43 PM]: we're happy too ty Lucas :)

After she sends that message, El looks away from her phone to find Mike looking at her with a warmth in his gaze that she's certain now is meant for her, and although their romance has only just begun, El feels deep inside herself that it's going to last a long time.

El looks up as the door opens, and there they are again. Max and Mike pushing each other through the entry and glaring, but now they smile when they see her behind the counter. Max waves and calls hello before making her way to a table, while Mike comes straight up to the register. El cashes him in and then starts making the coffees, all the while grinning because she can see her boyfriend watching her with that sappy smile of his in the reflection on the espresso machine.

"Iced coffee with milk and a chai latte?" She says, turning to hand the two drinks over.

Mike's floppy hair swings a little as he leans forward to give El the flightiest of kisses. "Thank you," he answers, picking up the cups. "We still on for later?"

El's smile doesn't falter. "Definitely."

"Great!" Mike starts to walk away toward Max, but then thinks better of it and retreats back to El for a second longer. He stands at the counter shuffling his feet until El boops his nose.

"What do you want, silly?"

He hesitates before saying, "I love you. I don't know why I'm still nervous, it's not like it's the first time I've said that."

El rolls her eyes. "I love you too. Now go bother Max, I'm working."

Mike gasps dramatically. "Why doth my fair lady rebuke me!"

"Shoo!"

He goes away. El watches the pair for a bit, just like she used to, but she isn't jealous anymore. She's happy.