#where your character feels like they have a personality outside of Standard Happy To Help Adventurer.

[lunadivino]

Dark Knight Diavolo as a concept would fuck so severely and that's definitely not my bias speaking sorry I keep thinking about it

[kimbap-r0ll]

Hello, i have a request for phantom troop(you dont have to do them all) finding out that one of the only reasons the reader joined was because they have a younger sibling to look after, and needed the money. This can be platonic or romantic (i leave this in your hands) feel free to ignore me. Have a nice day/night.

Ooh, this is interesting, thank you for the ask! I think I'll just pick and choose the characters, I'll go with Pakunoda, Chrollo, Uvogin, Machi, Feitan for this one! Also the relationship will be romantic for this too ^^

Pakunoda, Chrollo, Uvogin, Machi, Feitan with an s/o that joined the troupe to support their younger sibling

Pakunoda

At first she was a little surprised since it wasn't like most of the troupe cared about money. However, I feel like out of the troupe she's the one that will understand you the most because she also tends to be someone that cares for others almost like a mother

She won't judge you at all, and if other members of the troupe have something to say about your situation she won't hesitate to talk back to them. She won't throw insults, but she'll definitely give them a stern reminder that the troupe is meant to be open to anyone and everyone that can make it

If you ever happen to show her your younger sibling, Pakunoda will probably be your sibling's favorite person in no time. She tends to be super caring and chill at the same time, so I doubt kids will hate her haha

Overall she doesn't mind your reason for joining since joining the troupe alone makes you above average in skills and it means you were more or less accepted by Chrollo's standards. If you happen to be looking for a place to stay however, she'll definitely say you should move to Meteor City where she's from

Chrollo

He won't judge you, he's extremely open-minded and has no issue with you wanting to look after your younger sibling. He might have some questions as to why exactly the troupe was your choice though since it's such a dangerous team

I doubt other members of the troupe will talk badly about you in front of him, but in the rare case it happens he doesn't stop them with words but rather gives them a cold stare. It's enough to shut them up before Chrollo talks to them about it in private

If you need a helping hand, I feel like he would be super happy to help! Though they don't look like it, I feel like all members of the troupe have a soft spot for kids. Chrollo's super chill around your sibling too, they might ask when you two are getting married haha

Similar to Pakunoda, he may offer you and your sibling to come back to Meteor City if you two aren't already living there.

Uvogin

He might ask you why you then decided the troupe would be where you wanted to stay when you could've been doing something else like a job in regular society or a hunter, since you clearly have the skills to become one. However, after you give your explanation, he'll be like "yeah I'm actually really happy you're part of the team, means I get to see you more often!"

He's the type to throw fists when other members of the troupe look at you disapprovingly. Most troupe members won't care tbh, but in the case that they say anything he'll have no trouble jumping on them :/

The cool uncle that your younger sibling always wanted! He was probably the one that asked if you wanted him to help you out at home. If you really need any extra help outside of troupe antics, he'll be there!

He doesn't really care about money but at the same time he does understand that you need to help out your sibling. He'll do what he can to support you, but most importantly he won't judge you for your reasons of joining the troupe

Machi

She honestly didn't really mind when you revealed your reason for joining the troupe. "As long as you aren't some crazy clown trying to fight Chrollo you're good," she might say, giving you a friendly punch on the shoulder

She isn't really like a mom-friend, but there have been times where she felt like an elder sister to some of the troupe. Because of this, she's actually just as protective of you and of your sibling as well. She's super caring, it's honestly really nice!

Machi won't fight against other troupe members calling you out or looking at you disapprovingly, but she will definitely give them a stare and maybe throw a mean insult in their direction. The only person she won't do that to would be Chrollo, but honestly the leader probably doesn't mind your situation at all

She asked if you wanted to move to Meteor City if you weren't already there right after you said you needed to take care of your younger sibling. I feel like she thinks it's the safest place since she grew up there, but in the end she's open to anything that you want and will be there to help you out

Feitan

Out of these troupe members he was probably the only one that thought it was a little weird at first. You were scared he would tell you it wasn't right for you to join the troupe, but he was more confused rather than upset at your situation.

However, he hides that he thinks it's admirable you're throwing your life at risk for family. It's sort of like what he saw in Meteor City, and perhaps what the troupe is doing to support the children back where he's from. He has a soft spot for kids, he won't show it though

He probably said he didn't want to help you out when you were with your younger sibling, but when he showed up at your door you knew he was probably lying about hating kids. He turns out to be really chill, sometimes even cute in your eyes. If you tease him about it he might get a little upset though haha

He stands up for you in the case any troupe member thinks what you're doing is wrong. They likely won't, but if it happens he has no issue pulling out a weapon and throwing it in their direction. He cares a lot about you, and now that he knows there's someone you want to protect, he'll do his best to help you out

[moonlightndaydreams]

Limbo Part 6

Pairing: Lee Minho x fem reader x Han Jisung

part 1 / part 2 / part 3 / part 4 / part 5 / part 6 / part 7 / part 8 / part 9

Synopsis: Lee Minho is the mysterious new accountant at your workplace, and he seems to have his sights set on you. But things aren't so simple when your ex boyfriend Han comes back into the picture. Can you and Minho make it work, or will you get back with Han?

Spoiler: Happy ending, eventual poly minsung.

MDNI / smut

Chapter Summary: Minho takes you on a date. There is a turn of events. An angsty chapter.

A/n: I originally wrote this part of the story years ago before I got into fanfic. Interestingly, my main character’s name was Min (it was a coincidence). But I was inspired to write Han the drunk from the following song. (And in my head he looked like actor Woo Do-hwan) when I saw him in a scene where he was drunk.

Taglist: open.

A/n: this story may be familiar to some. It’s a rework of one of my older stories where I’ve now changed my fem lead to be reader.

CW: angst, reference to arousal and sexual touch.

Trigger Warning: this chapter refers to alcohol and alcoholism. There is a mention of a car accident and description of an intensive care hospital situation (not a major character). Vivid nightmare.

You felt the anticipation buzzing through you as Minho pulled into the small, unevenly paved parking space outside of your townhouse.

He could barely keep his eyes on the road the entire drive back to your place, so much so you thought he was going to crash the car at one point. It took all of your self control not to demand he pull over and let you climb on top of him. You did, however palm his erection through his pants with one hand, whilst exposing and playing with one of your breasts.

He’d been late to pick you up for your date, but he’d made up for it taking you to a cozy restaurant, where he gave you his undivided attention. That might have sounded simple, and you were sure Hyunjin would find it deeply underwhelming when you tell them at work. But for you it was perfect.

“I can’t wait to finally make love to you properly, y/n.” Minho said in the restaurant. It made your heart flutter. Sure you'd fucked, and sure you'd had tender moments. But it had always been rushed. Tonight you could take your time.

It had been raining earlier, but the sprinkling had stopped now, and so Minho took this chance to hop out of the car and make his way around to open your door for you. You both carefully walked up the little path, paved in the same haphazard, uneven fashion as the parking space. A fun little tripping hazard for you to navigate.

As you reached the bend in the path close to the porch, you could see the shape of a person as you rounded a shrub. There, sitting on your little bench under the porch light a figure sat, head buried in his hands.

Your heart sank, and that old feeling of dread began to bubble up through your chest. Han? You stood stiffly, but your shoulders slumped, and your arm fell to your side. Your handbag dangled on the ground.

Why was he here? Of all nights to turn up. Why tonight? Why?

Han slowly lifted his head. He looked like shit. Wearing his standard leather jacket, and black jeans. His skin was moist from the rain. Or could he have been crying? You couldn’t quite tell. He looked longingly, no, desperately, at you, as though they were begging, screaming for help.

He opened his mouth to say something, the words were on the tip of his lips. Then his gaze shifted to Minho, and an understanding dawned on him. Without even speaking a word, Han stood up and walked down the path towards you. You still hadn’t moved, and with one last look in your eye, he walked straight past you, bumping your shoulder. He was gone.

You closed your eyes and let out a deep breath and turned awkwardly and hesitantly to Minho. His expression was one of surprise and shock, and then confusion. You swore you heard him mumble “what the fuck is he doing here?”

You unlocked the front door with shaking hands. Once inside, you turned on the kitchen light and filled the kettle up to make cups of coffee. At this point Minho hadn’t said a word. Was he angry? What was he thinking? You felt ashamed. Minho seeing your ex boyfriend was the last thing you wanted to happen.

Awkwardness filled the air. Say something, y/n. You looked across to the living area. Minho was busying himself with his phone. He looked pissed. He glanced up catching your gaze. “I just need to make a phone call.” He stated and stepped back outside.

Oh fuck. What a mess. This won’t do. You had to explain to Minho who that was. You bit your lip and turned your attention back to making the coffees and peeked at your phone on the kitchen bench. Eleven missed calls? 

“God dammit, Han.” You muttered under your breath. You picked up the phone to clear the missed calls from your list, but they weren’t from him at all. They were from his sister, Mina.

Your thoughts jumped to the worst. You knew what he was like, and that was exactly the reason you didn’t want to be involved with him anymore. You felt sick in the pit of your stomach. What should you do? Should you call her back.

The sound of your phone ringing startled you, and you looked down at the screen. Mina, again. “Hello, Mina?” You said tentatively.

You were met with a hysterical voice on the other end.

“Y/n is that you?” 

“Mina, slow down. What’s wrong? Has something happened?”

“Is Han with you?”

“No. What’s happened?”

“Oh y/n.” Mina sobbed. “It’s Mom.”

Minho stepped back in just as you ended the call. He looked distressed. “Y/n,” he scratched his head. “Something’s come up. I… I gotta go.”

“Minho! Wait. I’m sorry you had to see that. It’s… Oh fuck.” You wailed.

Minho was by your side in a heartbeat, taking your hands in his. “Look. Do what you need to do okay. I’m sure Han’s okay. I’ll see you later.” He held your face in his hands for a moment. You couldn’t quite understand his tone, nor could you read his eyes. You didn’t have time to even think about that right now.

You needed to find Han.

————————————————

[Author’s Note: Aura never told Minho Han’s name?]

————————————————

It was late. Dark. Cold. You felt frantic and panicked. He wasn't picking up his phone. Again. Twenty calls straight to his mobile. You needed him to pick up. You needed him to come home.

You grabbed your handbag and jumped in the car. It was starting to rain. Tears streamed down your face. You felt a heaviness, a sadness in your chest. You felt like sobbing. But you couldn’t just yet, you needed to find him first.

Why was he always like this? Why couldn't he be like a regular boyfriend? Why did you have to pick a guy who turned out to be a drunk? Why were you such a fool? You felt ashamed.

You drove down the city street. Headlights from other cars warped and blurred as they reflected on the wet road. You parked your car in a side street. With no umbrella, you began your search.

This was becoming your new normal. Tuesday nights. Out in the dark. Looking for that fucked up loser. Your hair was sopping wet. Your black leather jacket brushed off some of the rain. You passed the regular shop fronts, takeaway food shops, a mini super market. The streets were still busy from people going out for dinner and leaving restaurants, heading back to their cars. Couples. Work colleagues still dressed in their office clothes. Happy, normal, people. Would they know you were a normal person too? A regular person who fell in love with a broken, hurting person.

You trudged up a slight hill and turned into a bar. The lights were dim and the air felt dense and hazy because of the rain outside and the warmth inside. The place was fairly empty. Was he here? This time you found him easy enough. Him and his best mate in the corner. His friend was a burly, guy who could hold his liquor and he wasn't as addicted as Han. His friend, Billy, could hold down a job, whereas Han, well... he lost his last one 3 weeks ago.

As you approached the table you realised Han was passed out. Not unusual. You leaned down over him, drops of water coming off of your hair and onto his flushed, sweaty face. He stank of bourbon.

You tried to shake him awake. He stirred ever so slightly and mumbled something you couldn't understand.

And then it hit you. A sudden realisation. You couldn't do this anymore. This recurring situation was hurting you. It was bringing you down to where he was. Hurt and broken. You couldn't help him anymore. He didn't want to help himself.

The frantic feeling had gone, and was replaced with a calmness, an acceptance. But it was only for a moment until that feeling inside you returned, that heaviness. The need to sob overwhelmed you and you could feel it rise up within your body. You let go of Han, stood back up and turned and walked away.

You didn't look back, although part of you wanted to. The voices and feelings inside you were pulling you, tearing you in a thousand directions, but this one voice, your soul, a quiet inner voice, whispered "it’s time to let go". It was the voice you decided to finally listen to.

As you hopped back in her car, you could finally let it out. The sobbing. It came loud and you body shook. You weren’t just sobbing for him anymore, you were sobbing for yourself, the self you had lost to him. You were sorry to yourself for staying so long, and promised yourself then and there that you would always put yourself first.

————————

Now you were driving along searching for Han. Again. Like old times. Mina’s words replayed in your mind as you drove through the night. 

“Mom’s in hospital… She was in a car accident, y/n.. we don’t if she’s going to make it!” 

You let out a deep sigh. You had been holding your breath and your body was tense. Your hands shook and your knuckles had turned white from gripping the steering wheel so hard. Your heart was pounding. 

Mina had said Han had disappeared and they couldn’t contact him. They were worried about him, especially since he was sober these days. You were worried too. Should you have told Mina that Han was waiting at your house?

You took a left hand turn into the same street that you found Han that last time. The last time you’d spoken to him. The night you decided you’d had enough and that you deserved better.

But tonight was different. An exception. You needed to help Mina, you needed to help their Mom. Oh how could this have happened to her? A car had hit her whilst at a pedestrian crossing, the driver still not found. You cast her mind back to when you used to visit her when you were with him. A lovely, caring woman. A Mother Hen. She would cook a great big dinner, making sure everyone was full and happy. 

Deciding to continue the search on foot, you pulled the car over to the side of the road and grabbed your cardigan to help shield you from the night air.

The light sprinkling had stopped and the night sky was  beginning to clear. You felt so bad for having to cut the evening short with Minho. He acted so strange, and left so abruptly.

But you couldn’t dwell on that. You could make up for it later. You could explain yourself better, later. Mina was at the hospital, she needed someone to help find Han, and that someone was you.

You checked all the places you could think of. Asked the bartenders if they had seen him. They knew him well, but no one had seen him.

“Sorry, y/n,” Simon from the Oxet said, voice raised above the noise of the patrons. 

“I haven’t seen him. Haven’t seen him a long time actually”. He gave a customer some change and came over to where you were standing at the end of the bar. “I heard he’s sober these days”. Simon spoke in hushed tones now he was closer to you. “Yeah, Bobby was talking about him a couple of months back.” Mina hadn’t mentioned any of this. 

An image flashed in your mind of Han on your doorstep earlier that night. He wasn’t drunk. He was upset. He had nowhere to go. You shook that thought out of your mind. You didn’t need to feel guilty. He did have somewhere to go. Somewhere to be. With his sister, with his mom, not your fucking front porch! “God damn you, Han” you uttered under your breath.

After an hour of trying every bar you could think of, you decided to give up. Maybe he had gone back to the hospital? You decided to send Mina a text message. It was too late to call. You took in a big, deep breath and exhaled slowly. You had done all you could. All you could do now was hope that Han was somewhere safe and that he was okay.

The night sky was now completely clear, and the moon shone bright, reflecting on the patches of wet road. You were almost back to you car, but instead of hopping in, you kept walking ahead. You hadn’t checked the cafes, or the park. You had just assumed that he’d be getting drunk. 

It was late, but a lot of the cafes still had lingering patrons who were enjoying late night coffees. Laughing, smiling. Happy people. Han wasn’t here either.

You felt tired, rubbing your hands on your face. You were about to give up for good, but your eye caught a figure over in the park across the street. There was someone sitting on a bench, back towards you. A familiar black leather jacket and mop of black hair. Han.

You raced across the road, closer. Yes, it was definitely Han. Sitting alone. Sitting still, head down, deep in thought. Or asleep? You approached slowly and carefully. Beside him sat a brown paper bag. Spirits? Your heart sank. Had he been drinking?

As if he could sense you, Han looked up. His features showed he was surprised to see you. But it only lasted a moment before returning to a solemn expression.

Feeling uncertain, you sat beside him on the bench and looked at him intensely, trying to get a sense of what was going on for him. He didn’t smell like he’d been drinking. His cheeks were still moist though and his eyes red. 

Your heart felt like it was breaking for him.

“Oh Han,” you managed to say. The first time you had spoken to him in so long. You didn’t know what else to say. What could you say? So you put your arms around his shoulders to comfort him.

You could tell he was unsure, he tensed up, uncertain of the closeness between you. But after a moment, his guard dropped and he leaned his head down on your shoulder. His sobs grew louder and his chest heaved. He was heartbroken. He was devastated. He needed someone to be there for him. And in this moment, it was you. 

You let him cry for as long as he needed and when he was calm he finally spoke. “It’s all my fault, y/n.” he finally said. You removed your arm from around his shoulder and held your hand over his own that was resting on his thigh. 

“Han,” you squeezed his hand in a comforting gesture.

“It wasn’t your fault. Please don’t beat yourself -”

Han shook his head. “I was meant to pick Mom up from her appointment, and I was held up at the…” He swallowed hard and raised his face to the night sky. He blinked back more tears and let out a big sigh.

“If I had got there in time…”

“Look, let’s go the hospital. Your family needs you, Han” you whispered. You hoped you could convince him to go. They needed to stick together. Mina needed his support.

“I’ll drive you.” 

Han nodded and together you walked in silence back to your car.

----------------------

You drove to the hospital mostly in silence. You could feel his eyes on you as you drove. Every time you glanced over to him he was watching you. You wanted to say something to comfort him, but you still couldn’t find the words.

“That guy you were with, how do you know him?” Han broke the silence.

Out of all the things he could have said, after an entire year of not seeing each other, that was what he asked?

“Han… He’s just someone I work with. It’s… it’s nothing.” You snapped. But your mind flashed back to what felt like some recognition between Han and Minho. No, they couldn’t know each other, surely?

It didn’t take long to arrive at the hospital, and the pair made their way to intensive care. It wasn’t hard to find Mina, sitting beside their Mother’s bed, holding her hand, head resting beside her on the mattress.

Standing in the doorway, you urged Han to go in and be with them, and slowly, hesitantly he did.

He moved a chair over beside his sister, who groggily raised her head. A look of relief flowed over her expression and she grabbed his hand, her other hand still holding their Mother’s. 

Their Mother lay unconscious, tubes and masks attached to her face and body, machines bleeping all around. You felt helpless in this moment. You couldn’t even begin to imagine what Mina and Han were going through. Grief, hope, fear? It probably felt like a nightmare they couldn’t wake up from. 

You took a deep breath and closed your eyes as you slowly exhaled. You had done all you could. This, being here at the hospital, this wasn’t your place. Han and Mina have each other now, and so you quietly left.

--------------------

You tossed and turned that night. You couldn’t sleep. And when you did you kept dreaming about car accidents and hospitals. The worst one was of you walking down the footpath and suddenly a car loses control and mounts the kerb, hitting you.

The impact sends you flying through the air and landing with a thud on the floor of the bar that you found Han passed out in that last time you searched for him. Except you were lying on the floor, Han crouching over you. Hair wet from rain, skin flushed from alcohol. “I am sorry, y/n, I didn’t see you… It’s all my fault.” You could feel a warm wetness oozing from the back of your head. Blood. It was on Han’s hands too. “I’m sorry” he kept saying. Frantically. Hysterically. Shaking you, trying to keep you awake, he just kept repeating himself “I’m sorry”.

You woke up startled. Panting, catching your breath. The skin on the back of your head and neck was warm and wet. Sweat. And you were alone. 

The sun was streaming through the window. Six o’clock. Shit.

Despite the lack of sleep, you got up and started to go about getting ready for work. You took a warm shower and ate a piece of toast, and tried to keep Han out of your mind. But images of him from last night kept creeping in. He didn’t deserve this to happen, sober or not, what happened was a tragedy.

You hadn’t dared look at your phone yet. You didn’t want to be greeted with any bad news. You’d give Mina a call on your drive to work. You hopped into the car and mindlessly threw your bag on the passenger seat, where it tipped over spilling your phone and purse onto the floor. 

“Shit” you mumbled to yourself. You leaned over and fumbled around for the phone and purse, but your fingers brushed against a papery texture. Han’s bottle of booze. You sat back up gripping the paper bag and its contents. It felt full. You untwisted the paper bag and pulled out a bottle of Jack Daniels? Unopened. 

You leaned back in your seat, closing your eyes. Han was sober? Of course. You didn’t recall any odour of alcohol when you held him close on the park bench. You knew too well what he smelled like after a night of drinking. Actually the smell became just his everyday, permanent smell. You wrinkled your nose, shaking the memory out of your mind. You looked down at the bottle again. Part of you was in awe that he resisted the temptation. In the past, a bottle like this could have been drunk by him easily. He really had changed. 

Tears started to prickle your eyes. You’d abandoned him. That night in the bar. Left him there, on the floor semi passed out. 

You dug around on the floor again and found your phone. You needed to check in and see if everything was okay.

You surprisingly got to work on time despite the fog of fatigue and worry clouding your head. Luckily, today you could work on autopilot. A meeting at 9.30 to 10.30 and then you were going to take a break and stop by Mina’s house to get a few bits and pieces for her.

Mina and Han hadn’t left the hospital, they wanted stay by their Mom’s side in case of any change. They were taking it turns while the other took a quick nap. Deep down you knew that this might not be appropriate. Who were you to get involved in a family crisis? You really didn’t have a place to do that. Was it guilt that compelled you to help? Or the kindness of your heart? You weren’t quite sure. The lines were blurred.

@channieandhisgoonsquad @noellllslut @itsseohannbin @chansbabyg @kangnina @weareapackofstrays @xxkissesforchanniexx @enjaken @queen-in-the-shadows @bethanysnow @newhope8 @chuuchuu1224 @vanillacupcakefrosting @3rachasdomesticbanana @fun-fanfics @palindrome969 @wolfennracha @rhonnie23 @jisunglyricist @strayywayy @rixenluv @yaorzu-blog @drunkewok @igetcarriedawaywithyou @minh0scat

[bluesidez]

First and foremost ugh I love your writing, eating it up every time purr. Also happy belated birthday bae. Now about this chapter, Miguel is pissing me off, and before yall jump ( some of yall be down bad and standards be on the floor lets acknowledge that) . Even if he was not aware that her behavior was bad or that she had feelings for him, the fact the his girlfriend felt some form of way, should’ve made he reevaluate his friendship with shawty. Because if y/n was tweaking and there was nothing going on, at least he can count it as a red flag for her. Anyways going to the person I really do got beef with, shawty self fish asf. Like okay yeah, you just realized that you were In love with him. But it’s selfish asf to try and sabotage someone who you claim you love happiness. Like if you truly love him, go outside, smoke a blunt, write in your journal and thug it out. Like the only semi reasonable scenario of someone doing this, is if their relationship/partner is toxic and even then start with a simple conversation 😭✋🏼 like ain’t that yo friend, communicate like it😭.

Thank you so much Anonnie! 🩵

You amongst many others are mad at Miguel. 😭 I don't think too many people will disagree with you. Half of y'all want Miguel to suffer more and half of y'all want him and reader to get back together.

To give some more perspective (even though I'm not sure if it will help Miguel's case at all), in the story Miguel and Xina were childhood besties like to the point where Xina was constantly around Miguel and his family. His family knows her very well and his mom LOVES her. As someone who had known her for so long and was only used to how she acted when it was just the two of them, he was a LOT slower to be like "oh Xina is actually being a dick towards my girlfriend."

He pushed it off thinking Xina was just wary or nervous, maybe even very territorial. He had a lot of trust when it came to her.

NOW. He also viewed their relationship with rose-tinted glasses because they were always there for each other, especially when both of their parents were being too much. You can see that a little bit with how Gabriel and The Geek Squad have to remind him of sly things that Xina has done to them or even him. Which is why it takes so long for it to click for Miguel.

And for Xina...I don't disagree that it was selfish of her. 😁 (I have a soft spot for her character though so I can't say too much lol.) If I speak more I'll spoil the story....

BUT OMG! I love when you guys leave comments like this. It really makes me happy! Like omg, for lil ol me? 🥺

[informl-lawlietonthings]

OKAY last ooc question for now but do you have any tips for like acting as Light? I know this is an L blog but you are a genius and I trust your intuition cause you're doing so well at playing L! I'm planning on making a Light blog purely because death note is a current obsession and even though I hate him lovingly I would love to play as him too but I need TIPS cause this bastard has too many facades and stuff >:( - Misa (I promise I only get more annoying from here on/hj)

OOC: DON'T WORRY ABOUT BEING A BOTHER! I'm very talkative when stuff I'm into is talked about, so send an ask whenever!

I'm no genius but thank you so much for the compliments! I don't have much experience playing these characters but their psyche and reactions are so interesting that I can't help but go mental over them; none of these goofs can be labeled as one-dimensional because, although they do stem from character archetypes, each one brings something new to it, without being a copypaste of the genre. My relationship with Light is very similar to yours lol, I hate him but he's such a great character that I appreciate his complexity.

Therefore I can't guarantee that I'm the best person to ask for this, but here are my thoughts anyway!

Light's character keeps the 'model student' trait up until the second half of the show, it's an asset that is extremely useful to him as both a cover and advantage in terms of gaining trust/information easily; this doesn't get to his head unlike the DN, despite how many times he uses it, it's all that it is to him, a title. He weaponizes it but doesn't view it as an achievement, it's more like a standard that he has to live up to; a "normal" person would jump of joy or at least be happy to be the number one student nationwide, to be praised no matter where they go, but he doesn't care, ergo: he's not a bragger. Sure, he utilizes his high intelligence to get his way, acknowledges his superiority to others in intellect, but he never outworldly brags about, he rejects it. On the outside he is moderately humble and denies/gently pushes away the flattery he's given, even though he knows it's true; the same goes for women, he knows he's popular and uses that, the only time he's proud of it is when he's talking to Ryuk about, which sounds like explaining attraction to an aromantic or science to a philosopher.

One common misconception that has been floating around for decades about his character is his personality pre-death note, which I am very against; the statement that Light without the Death Note would have been a wonderful guy who’s modest and kind is so fundamentally wrong that it’s jarring to me. It’s so reflective of the treatment of serial killers in real life that I can’t not mention it; if the person who committed the crime was “good” or performed good actions, then something turned them into a monster or drove them to do whatever crime they did. While they can be conditioned/solicited by outside sources, saying it happened out of the blue is erroneous; I can understand why people would think that, even more so if they were someone they trusted or saw in a good light, because believing otherwise would crush them. No one does things that major without reason, yes they can be pushed to do it, but the intent is there, it has been, it doesn’t appear out of thin air, take this as an example; when you cry while laughing, it’s because you laughed too hard, when you unintentionally leave the light on it’s because you forgot about it, when you miscalculated it’s because you weren’t paying attention to your calculations etc…

How does this have anything to do with Light? People seem to believe that he’s ‘innocent’ or wouldn’t have become a mass murder if he hadn’t found the note; this is mainly the Yotsuba Arc’s fault, which led to misinterpretations of his character, it’s true that Light feels horror at the sight of these killings because of the sheer brutality, but he’s not completely against them either. In that same scene, Light is contemplating if he could really fit the profile of a merciless serial killer, subsequently reiterating his possible motive for doing something so cruel; eradicating evil. He admits that and we hear it, yet his innocuous behavior is the only aspect the fandom highlights, not his self awareness or the re-affirmation of his established morals. This conveys the message that it’s all the DN’s doing, and while all of this mess wouldn’t have happened without it, it’s wrong to say that it’s the root of all evil when it’s not. The DN served as a catalyst for Light’s nihilistic morality to be enacted, exteriorized, the switch that flipped his passive worldview into an active one; Lighr saw the world as rotten long before he picks up the notebook, the world has always been full of weeds that need to be removed to him, the DN was just his means to do it, the apple for Eve, if you’re looking for a religious metaphor.

Another thing is how he interacts with people. The obvious thing we can learn is that he’s extroverted and a role model for other people to follow and idolize, but he’s actually the most alienated university student ever, take Patrick Bateman from American Psycho as an example — he has everything, he embodies the ideal American man, except he doesn’t feel human at all and feels alienated from humanity which drives him to commit murder. Both of these characters know they aren’t like everyone else, know that the expectations that they are raising are just a cover for an empty soul that can’t understand why it’s different. Light consistently draws this line between himself and other people because they’re not equal to him, he’s something else that doesn’t follow human nature or behavior; he has been emulating it since day one, which is why his attempts at behaving ‘normally’ to avoid suspicion actually increases it and doesn’t feel normal to us, the audience, at all. His words and mannerism, neatness and appearance, are what people expect of him, his conversations prioritize what other people want to hear instead of what he wants to say.

I have no clue if this helped at all, I’ve tried writing down my thoughts as coherently as possible, please don’t be afraid to ask questions if there’s anything I said that confuses you!

Thank you sm for the ask! -K.

[toughtink]

some things about the wdw galactic starcruiser star wars hotel:

they really want us to think of it as a space cruise and not a hotel, and tbf it doesn’t at all meet the disney standards for other hotels. it only has 100 rooms! and they’re alll cramped quarters with no actual windows or access to real sunlight (with the exception of park time and the “climate simulator”). also, it’s lacking a lot of normal hotel amenities like a pool or gym.

the climate simulator is a small courtyard outside where you can have access to fresh air, sunlight, and plants! it has to be small because they’re “simulated” in the larp story, and it would be asking a lot for a starcruiser to have a spacious garden or deck area simulated.

the timeline of this is based in the middle of the newest star wars trilogy with interactions with rey, chewbacca, and kylo ren. old school star wars fans are very upset about this and bring it up every chance they get online because they want to have lunch with lando instead. and honestly? i’d also like to have lunch with lando, but maybe be less obnoxious about it.

the storyline also includes several original characters. their designs, much like the design of the rest of the “ship” don’t quite get the star wars look, to be honest. they feel a little sillier, a little more cartoony than what we’ve come to expect of star wars. it’s an odd kind of choice considering that the current star wars leadership has been otherwise allergic to the silly side of star wars, trying to distance its modern theme park presence from the “hyperspace hoopla” days of yore.

honestly, the character interactions feel like what they wanted to bring originally to the galaxy’s edge theme park lands in hollywood studios and disneyland, concepts that were eventually cut way back and VE’d to oblivion.

all “voyages” are 3 days. the schedule is PACKED on saturday with breakfast at 7am to the finale lasting until 11pm. friday is a partial day, arriving at 1pm, and sunday is really just breakfast. despite the uneven distribution across days, a lot of the pricing discussed online breaks the prices down to per person per day (not per night as would be expected of a hotel).

a family of 4, without discounts, would be charged a minimum of $6000 for this experience. this pricing makes it competitive with an actual real life cruise which generally has more space and more options of stuff to do, as well as access to real sunlight and potential to visit other countries.

honestly, the problems of this concept are so complex, but the obvious one is the cost. the fact that disney has decided to pull the plug rather than attempt a lower cost version of the experience is fascinating. because i like lists, here’s some more issues with it under the cut:

throwing casual fans with a lot of money into the same space with hardcore larpers feels awkward. maybe a future version could have more ~normal hotel areas~ that are lightly themed and then a specific larping playground with reservations for larp experiences as well as a general meetup larp zone?

lacking things people like to have while on vacation like time to rest, a pool area, and access to sunlight creates a harried vacation experience, as does having to switch hotels part way thru your vacay because your “voyage” was only 2 nights but you have more theme parks to hit. once again, more of a normal themed hotel with a specific separate larp area could help.

outsiders might think star wars is an easy slam dunk theme, but it’s not. it’s vast and hard to pick just one look to theme to, not to mention all of the very distinct parts of the timeline different movies/shows take place during. and you’re trying to make every generation of guest happy no matter where they jumped on the train! the best option might be for the theme to truly be outside of the timeline with specific experiences during different trilogies that can cater to different kinds of fans.

this is a personal gripe but Uh. if you want people to actually larp in your parks, let people cosplay star warsy things there and not just at your space hotel. uni lets folks dress as hogwarts students and makes bank selling them silly little uniforms and merch. disney sells adult jedi robes and then gets mad if anyone wears them. i get safety concerns, but if uni can make it work disney should be able to find a way.

and lastly, having a larger variety of price points to choose from would allow the rich super fans to spend a lot while more casual fans and just curious theme park goers could fill in the rest with a lower stakes experience.

“immersion” has become the go-to word for themed experiences in the past few years, but we gotta admit that most folks don’t actually want true, full immersion. full immersion means inaccessibility, discomfort, and letting go of embarrassment to fully participate. most folks aren’t willing to do that for free much less pay for it. but there’s also lots of room for experimentation even without trying for full immersion. universal studios has begun offering jurassic world and back to the future-themed escape rooms, and indie experiences like meowwolf, the nest, and fairgrounds st pete are popping up all around the country. it’ll be interesting to see what pops up next.

[111tblog]

VALIDATION.

a subject that i recently have been having conversations about with a few of my friends. so decided to put it on here bc what i have to say may or may not be of help to somebody.

what is validation?

validation is the affirmation of our own truth and the recognition that who and how we are is of worth. it is basically what makes us sure or unsure. depressed or happy. pick-me or shy. annoying or amusing. and many more. all depending on where we seek our validation from. don’t get me wrong, tho. all positive characteristics can also be derived from unhealthy validation source which if you think about it comes down to being one - that from the outside and not within.

external sources of validation

it is maybe what defines most of today’s world actions and situations that we adapt for ourselves in day to day basis. validation is supposed to make us feel relevant in this day and age. it’s also what drives us to develop bad relationship patterns and low self-esteem. those sound extreme but it is a fact. i don’t like extremities so i’m not a big fan of validation from the outside.

social media

ask yourself-why would we post pictures of ourselves if there were no likes or comments? at the end of the day we live in the era of being validated 24/7. liked or disliked. popular or not. travelling or not. successful or not. all posted just because we want to assert ourselves in order for people who we barely know give us attention… and that’s a small flaw of validation. think about changes that you have done to yourself in order to be validated or fit in. and if you do believe that people collectively live in their own realities why would you care to be judgemental towards anyone. we aren’t living by the same standards because we are not the same. our lives are different, our needs are different. and that’s perfectly fine.

significant other or friend group

i do remember the amount of times i went out of my own way to be liked or accepted by someone in my life, that i needed validation from because of behavioral patterns, and this has nothing to do with compromising for the ones you love. because those who love you will love you for the way you are in the beginning of any form of relationship. they will be inspired and interested even in the small aspects of your character, so you don't need to add or remove anything unless you are not inspired and motivated by them and see how you can grow as a person from those changes further on. if you otherwise think you have to change because of seeking validation and being liked by them, maybe they aren't the right people for you. there could be love and still no need to validate each other, but just simply accept that you are who you are.

academic or professional validation

of course we are talking about something way more logical in its core and validation here does play a role, but in my opinion it could be regarded as healthy in circumstances that it complies with your own personal beliefs and goals in life. however, sometimes our vision can be narrowed down and the potenitial of our abilities could be shadowed by the opinion of authority that does not neccessarily have our best interest. if someone or something wants you to grow they could give you hard time and everything, but they would not make you feel uninspired.

your ego

as i have mentioned in the post "NOW." we are not our ego. meeting this part of ourselves' standarts is sometimes impossible. i put "ego" as an external source of validation because in a sense ego is created from the outside and works inside of us. it makes us overthink and it could feel tiring complying with its validation.

the internal source of validation

this is simply your higher most present self. it is that part of you that has reached it's fullest pottential and would never judge you. this source of validation could be described as the feeling that you are doing something good for your soul; the feeling of making a decision that is with unknown results, but still feels right for you; it is that spark that no matter who and what comes against or along your way, you have the assurance that you are always gonna make it. validating your routine, decisions, appearance and whatever there is in th physical and non-physical world leads to the healthiest form of detachment, without of course leaning into extremities. being detached doesn't mean experiencing everything just for yourself, but being able to connect with the world without giving in to the ego.

when you create standarts for yourself and live by them you will start to feel more at peace. of course before that you should invest time to create your inner value system. (pinterest can be helpful here with its journal prompts)

validating your thoughts and decisions and even your manifestations can make you go through life in a confident way. you will see that when you believe that everything you do is enough and keep striving for more at the same time, you will not feel inadequacy, or if you do you will register it as a passing thought.

how to seek validation from the inside and not outside?

1.try to find out where your validation stems out of. - sit alone. no distractions. meditate and journal. see if you have been externally influenced throughout your life.

2.establish an inner value system and write it down.

3.practice self-affirmation.- pinterest and tumblr could be helpful once again if you look up for such affirmations

4.turn journaling and meditating into a habit.- change comes with supervision and when you keep track of yourself, progress does follow.

5.accept your flaws.- embracing this past version of yourself with its flaws as long as they are unharmful for your overall beeing could be the way of overcoming them.

6.set little goals and reward yourself in the physical world. - go on a date with yourself, buy yourself a present and try not to share this achievement with anyone.

7.catch yourself when you want to share something in order to be validated.- do you actually need it? is this really what you need in order for your goal to have purpose?

[queenofbrooklyn]

I trust your characterization of Sarah Jacobs with my life tbh

Thank you so much, friend this makes me so happy cause I loooove Sarah Jacobs!

The important parts about Sarah's characterization (to me) are that she's soft on the outside and strong on the inside.

The things we know about Sarah just from the movie are that she works (making lace when we first meet her), she's likely older than David (The Delancey's ask her where her "little" brother is "Where's your little brother, where's little Davey?", she's in charge of watching Les at least some of the time, she's independent enough to be out on her own, she's strong willed enough to punch her attacker in the face, she cares for a garden, she helps with the strike, is close to David (enough so that they lean on each other during The World Will Know Reprise) and Jack feels comfortable enough around her to be honest with her, something he does with pretty much no one else in the movie.

This is JUST the characterization from the movie, ignoring Hard Promises, the script, and the novelization, which all add more to her character- including her political leanings and that her and Mayer often have political discussions. Not to mention the cross-dressing.

Just from the movie alone though, we know a fair amount about her. She's family oriented, but brave. She has a life independent of her parents and goes out without supervision. Her and Esther were the sole wage earners for their 5 person family the summer of the strike. She likely took on more work and still helped with the strike. That's so impressive. We know she's a hard worker. Even if you ignore that, she's mending lace at night the first time we meet her. We know she's a hard worker.

All of these things just so play into both how I see her character and how I write her. She's soft, but strong. She cares about people and her family and causes so much, and maybe sometimes she gives a little too much of herself to them, but she's tough!

One of the reasons I think fans dislike her is that she didn't help David when the Delanceys are beating him up. I know we live in a world where we want our female characters to be complete badasses, but I think it's unfair to hold all female characters to the same standard, otherwise we get only one type of character. They can't all be Buffy. She protects Les, and punches Morris in the face. She is strong despite that "fault" if you want to call it that.

And I've said it before and I'll say it again re:people who say she has no personality, being soft and kind ARE personality traits, you just don't like them.

[heich0e]

okay okay so: was it actually suguru's coat or was he mistaken? if it is, why does reader have it 🤨🤨 did they steal it? lol. follow up: does reader know who he is? because he didn't recognize them but they said "you look like the type to be on antidepressants" so...... hm😗

do reader and shoko have any kind of relationship or do they just know each other from school? was shoko curious about reader just because they happened to be there in this weird situation?

does geto actually fool gojo and shoko or do they know that he's actually Not Okay?

ok thank u i don't mean to be annoying lol. I really like your little drabbles like this one and the choso one, they're very fun to read and they're situations that 1. i could not think of myself and 2. i haven't really seen them anywhere else, you also give the characters (and reader!) so much personality in a few paragraphs and i feel like it's really well established :) i really enjoy them

(sorry if something doesn't make sense, sometimes my english fails me lol)

HEHEHE

it really was his coat! reader was also in the bar and noticed suguru was having a hard time and ended up abandoning it so she grabbed it to return it to him, but lost track of him in the bar so went to look for him outside. that's where the fic opens.

reader and shoko's relationship isn't SUPER close by any means but they have a pretty standard senior/junior relationship since they're in the same program at uni and see each other regularly! the bar is near campus and a popular spot for students so it's not strange at all for either of them to be there.

gojo and shoko probably know he's not 100% but they don't know the full extent of things. they took suguru out that night to help cheer him up (look how well that worked out!)

ANNOYING?? you aren't annoying at ALL!! i love talking about the background in little drabbles like this because 99% of the time there's a lot more backstory/context that i, as the author, know when i write it, but that doesn't make it into the fic itself since it's often just sort of a small slice of a larger story that i end up sharing!

thank you so much for reading and thinking about the fic enough to want answers to these questions!! it makes me so so happy to get to share this with u!! <3

[crossdressingdeath]

The thing that bothers me most about the fandom acting like Percy and Nico have this really close, sweet, mutually supportive relationship that's usually actually Jason and Nico's relationship with Percy slapped on top but never mind that is... honestly for me the most compelling part of their relationship is just how incredibly fucked it is? It's this one-sided unhealthy mess that's leading Nico further and further down a path of self-destruction and the whole time he knows he is never going to get out of it anywhere near what he's putting in but he can't stop himself (even though some of his thoughts in BoO suggest he wants to) and Percy seems at best only vaguely aware of how badly he's hurting this person who's only ever wanted to help him, but neither of them are bad people. It's an unhealthy relationship where both the people involved are fundamentally good people who do not want to hurt anyone. Their relationship is not mutually supportive or even all that close, and is frankly hanging on by a thread made entirely of messy history that occasionally feels like the aftermath of a bad breakup without them ever actually dating (you can't tell me that Percy talking shit about Nico while the Argo II was en route to rescue him and despite the members of the Seven who didn't know Nico already distrusting him doesn't have just a few "ex-boyfriend who's still kind of bitter about it" vibes)! And neither of them are happy with this situation, but neither of them know how to take the first step towards fixing it! That's something you don't see very often in kids' media!

Now, I don't know how much of that was intentional on Rick's part (the bit where the writing lowkey suggests that the only thing messing up their relationship is Nico not having told Percy that he used to have a crush on him makes me just a little uncomfortable and I hope TSatS goes more into all the other stuff between them, for example Percy making zero attempts to defend Nico when Leo and Jason question his loyalties and in fact almost certainly making things worse with the disturbing stories he canonically told them about Nico, which I am literally never going to be over). But I find Nico and Percy's canon dynamic fascinating, because it shows sides of them that we don't usually get to see. Percy's treatment of Nico shows a dark side to his devotion to His Group Specifically (what happens if you're not considered part of Percy's group specifically? Percy's got some really strong "fuck you, got mine" energy at times that does not get acknowledged enough) that can only be showcased with a character like Nico who's vitally important but not technically part of the group! Meanwhile Nico's unfaltering loyalty and devotion to Percy even though he knows it's bad for him and even though he hates himself for it says a lot about him as a person (and I'd argue gives more of a hint about his actual fatal flaw than Bianca's little talk about grudges does; this boy's fatal flaw is self-sacrifice, not holding grudges, and I will die on this hill)! And it just feels like a shame to drop that for your standard protective older brother dynamic that doesn't fit the established relationship at all, especially when half the time it feels like the people doing this just don't want to acknowledge that Percy isn't perfect all the time outside of minor Protagonist Flaws like being mildly insecure at times and being a little dense. Basically I want more fucked up relationships where both parties are good people who haven't got a single solitary idea how to fix it but don't want to take the massive step of cutting the relationship off entirely and trying to rebuild it from the ground up! Stop taking away one of the really good examples of that I've got, dammit!

[blackjackkent]

2s from each category for whoever you've not chatted about in a while :)

(Super Long Hopefully Fun Character Ask Game)

Hmmmmm. Let's go with Lucas. :D He's been rotating in my mind a lot lately but doesn't get much airtime compared to my BG3 OCs. XD

-----

Appearance #2: What would your character wear if they were told they had to gussy up?

In the last few months I finally got Lucas into a more casual fit that he wears most of the time, but for quite a long time his standard outfit was the Exemplar's Attire, so presumably that is still his go-to for any time he needs to look fancy. ^_^

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Objects #2 - What gift would your character give to someone they didn’t like but felt obligated to?

At this point, Lucas is an old hand at diplomatic negotiations and he's habitually pretty cool and collected, so he would be pretty good at this. Tragically I don't think Kryta has the concept of a gift card, but the fantasy equivalent in this case feels like him forwarding the person to one of his various merchant friends and getting them a discount, which has the triple bonus of the recipient being happy, his friends getting business, and him not having to deal with the person directly.

-----

Food and Drink #2 - Would your character prefer baking, cooking or mixing drinks?

Lucas strikes me as someone who would enjoy baking. It's a low-key activity that could be done with friends but also solo for some introspection time, focuses on technical precision while also leaving room for artistry, facilitates carb-loading for the vast amount of physical activity he is forced into, and produces tasty treats as an outcome.

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Weather and Nature #2 - Has your character had a meaningful encounter with an animal?

As a soulbeast ranger, Lucas's whole life is pretty much nothing BUT meaningful encounters with animals. It is a running theme/joke among his friends that he makes friends with basically any creature that he meets, even the terrifying ones that are dangerous to everyone else; no one (including him) really knows how he does it, but it comes naturally to him.

The first time it happened, though, was with a wolf that befriended him during the leadup to the Battle of Shaemoor and helped him win the fights there that catapulted him into adventuring notoriety. He named the wolf Asher (after its grey coat) and they traveled together for a long time afterwards.

These days he has other animals he travels with more often; Asher lives out his old age wolf years with some of Lucas's friends on a farm just outside Divinity's Reach and is something of a local curiosity.

-----

Community and Relationships #2 - What is your character’s favorite kind of social event?

Lucas is very attached to and loyal to his friends and enjoys spending time with them but is increasingly stressed out by the Important Business that he keeps having to deal with. So his favorite gatherings are the ones where it's just people he cares about sitting around in a pub and telling stories, maybe drinking a little but not raucously, and enjoying each other's company without having to worry about putting on a good face or accomplishing some strategic aim.

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Mind Body and Soul #2 - Are there particular sounds your character is fond of?

In keeping with the above comments about his connection with animals, Lucas is very closely bonded with his skyscale, who he named Princess:

His friends are all pretty intimidated by Princess, who is very ornery with everyone else but Lucas and has a tendency to bite. But with Lucas she is extremely gentle, and they often sleep with Lucas kind of snuggled up against her feathers and tucked under one of her wings. She makes soft little snuffling noises when she sleeps or is very comfortable and it is a relaxing sound to him that means everything is (for the moment) all right.

-----

Hobbies and Activities #2 - Does your character have a secret hobby?

I can't say that I've ever given this much thought, so we're gonna come up with a new headcanon on the fly and say that Lucas knitted the scarf that he wears in his current fit:

Furthering this headcanon to decide that this was a hobby he initially picked up all the way back during his days as a bodyguard in Divinity's Reach; the nobles he worked for didn't REALLY have too much call for his services most of the time so he spent a lot of time standing around and needing something to keep his hands busy.

Occasionally this got snarky comments from others in the business but they never got much of anywhere because Lucas is very hard to rattle and just ignored them. XD

He doesn't have too much time for it these days, yet another thing that he has been forced to deprioritize against the constant need of saving the world.

[leatherbookmark]

ah but THAT ASIDE re: the rkg story itself, yayyyy koga backstory etc --

man, I Am Not Convinced.

(also hehehehehe it's called back door hhehehehehe okay anyway)

of course i do appreciate the blatant, in-your-face bold red font Homosexuality of my dear little boy going

about another man, A+ CONTENT I HAVE 零 COMPLAINTS, but the backstory part is hhhhho boy. mr akira hihihi belatedly realized he forgot to make koga a character outside of his super normal teenage infatuation with rei And It Shows.

like first of all as a lower middle class both parents working super mundane jobs koga truther i Scoff at the idea of salaryman+housewife adoring parents spoiled kid koga. and i mean, it's been a loooong while since i've read enst stories, so it might be just me, but even going by what i vaguely remember it just Doesn't Look Right.

because it kind of feels like koga really didn't have anything going on about him aside from rei. i was kinda eeeeeh back in. 2017? 2018? help me, when it was revealed that it was rei who kickstarted koga's rock life and before rei koga wasn't interested in it at all, because on one hand yyyyeah i guess it's more flashy if one (1) guy literally Changes His Life basically overnight, but no one's said you can't have koga already being an established guitar boy AND feeling strongly about rei anyway! perhaps precisely because he feels a connection between their Rock Souls. and this way he'd have a Past. we could also find out more about how he came by his passion for rock, and the answer to this question wouldn't be rei. INSTANT DEPTH

but instead i feel Potential in the contents of the text but a puzzling lack of effort from the text itself. koga says it himself that he's been spoiled, loved and given things before he even knew he needed anything -- okay, but why is he such a loner on top of being very survival of the fittest, if you can't keep up then either git gud or quit, being tossed off a building bungee jumping builds character tsundere, then? he's got strict standards, both for everyone else and for himself, and i just can't see that coming from someone who's always had everything. sure, you can still undergo a change in personality due to some unspecified Things Going On as a teen (duh!) but, yknow.

second, again with the "i didn't know what i really wanted because i was handed everything before i even realized i needed something" thing. also makes no sense to me! again, koga seems like a very passionate and driven guy, it makes no sense for him to just have no idea about what he wants. card battler tells us he has a card game past, so he Could get passionate and Gud at something even as a kid. also, someone with loving, normal parents would have at least a handful of friends, and those friends would broaden their horizons naturally, so even if you're indecisive as a person you're at least exposed to Things and Stuff. again, i don't buy it.

finally the, uh, the leon thing.

akira. my guy. my dude. my bro. what was that.

peak 'uh oh, it's too late to retcon now' moment, is2g. yknow, "i was happy basking in my parents' love until X happened, whereupon i found myself unloved and confused" would make sense if that X was the birth of a new baby, but koga is an only child, so... let... his parents' new obsession be... a dog... the same dog who's been living with koga ever since the game story started... and they got a dog because he uhhh let's say he was grown up enough not to need babying! we're talking about a teenager. the world has never heard of teens groaning that their parents treat them like babies and dote on them despite them being Too Old For That, nay, it is a nonexistent phenomenon. ?????

again it just doesn't add UP akira do you read the stuff you write. you don't get to the point where you're desperately looking for someone who'd love you AND something to do with his life because your parents got a dog. source trust me dude!! i know something about being (barely) Provided For but not Raised!!

imo it would've made more sense if koga's parents were, as per my obviously correct personal headcanon, incredibly busy working people who also don't know much about raising children. because like -- he's fed, clothed, he goes to school and presumably does kid things there, it's all good, right? well, not quite, because his parents had no time to take him to the playground, so he's badly socialized and doesn't get along with other kids well. ah well! many such cases, let's move on.

it would ALSO explain why he's so ride or die for His People -- he doesn't make friends easily, so when he finds someone, they're Important and Special. also, leon! leon is obviously koga's, he's his Brother, Comrade and Companion, this is NOT how you get about a dog your parents bought, who's nice and loving but like, you need something more! i personally like the idea that they got koga a dog when he knew he'd be going to yumenosaki and living alone, so that he'd be responsible but also simply have a friend.

like, again -- everything can be explained or spun in a fun way, even koga's passion for life beginning and ending with rei sakuma, but you gotta want to do something with it! enst is such a nonsensical story sometimes, we have multiple cult children, many tragic backstories, and then you give me koga who's Like That because it, eh, just happened, middle class, parents got a dog, yknow how it is? ( ˘︹˘ )

BUT ALSO IN GENERAL RE: REIKOGA AAAAAA GOD

the event song was mid and the outfits were mid as well and only that one new album song and adonis's solo were kinda good but but B U T

my stupid lads are so cute :')

ok back to my *checks hand* stupid lads who are pirates and trying to have a Conversation

[kae-karo]

Writer asks: 12 and 13, 30, 31, and 32?

AEWIN HELLO HI THANK U 🙏🙏 and thank u as well dear anon !!!! for context (x)

12. Are there any tropes you used to dislike but have grown on you?

u know if u had told me before encountering zhongchi that i would fall in love with eggs/ovipos i would've told u u were out of ur mind but here we are lmao

ngl i think i also wasn't super into the idea of enemies to lovers in my og fandom? which makes sense cause i wrote phanfic and for me it just didn't make sense that they'd be enemies at all to begin with? but then i got hit with dabihawks and hoooooo boy now i adore enemies to lovers lmao

13. Are there any tropes you used to like but don’t anymore?

honestly i don't think i've lost my taste for anything in particular that i didn't already dislike? like i am truly struggling to come up with anything i liked at one point and now am not so into (even just like a shift to neutrality over liking it) and i am entirely at a loss lmao

30. Have you ever written something that was out of your comfort zone? If so, what was it, and how did it affect your approach to writing fic thereafter?

yes absolutely !!!! the first time i wrote smut was a huge jump outside my comfort zone, and we all know how that turned out over time lmao. i tried out a bit of a wonky sci fi tale many moons ago and i think that really helped me solidify a base to build my emotional writing skills on.

near the end of my first fandom writing stretch, i switched from first person to 3rd person, and that basically...became my entire mode of writing from that point on. coincidentally, it helped me build new skills in eliciting strong emotions without relying on the benefits of first person narration

then when i switched fandoms, i tried my hand at my very first multi-ship fic, which sort of became the basis of some of the works and worlds i'm most proud of, and helped me flex my muscles with integrating relationships beyond just the main pairing into a story

this was also the first fandom for which i wrote stories that didn't have a happy ending (after living in a world where i promised happy endings, always) - ultimately i think this let me feel more comfortable exploring less wholesome emotions? not that everything i had before was wholesome, but being able to tell a story and be okay with it not having a happy ending was an interesting door to prop open [insert 'this is a surprise tool that'll help us later' image lmao]

i also pushed my worldbuilding limits in this fandom to produce what i consider one of my most complex fics from a worldbuilding perspective, it really tested my skills both in the art of translating canon lore to a unique world and investing in another multi-ship fic with 4 prominent romantic ships and at least 2 prominent platonic relationships, plus a myriad of less intensive platonic and familial relationships - overall i think that really helped me get a handle on worldbuilding in less complex scenarios? as well as incorporate tangential relationships to enhance a story or world

i also stretched my skills in canon-adjacent worldbuilding/future fic, which was a new territory to try to worldbuild in, so i had a lot of work around problem-solving within canon based on the path i was trying to go with the story. it ended up being an interesting dive into character study and analysis that lent itself well to what i consider a 'standard' method now for testing out new ships - starting in canon, with a scenario that interests me but wouldn't be wildly out of place in canon, and using that as a jumping point to get a handle on the dynamic. this was also my first attempt at ot3 fic, so that was good practice for future 3somes :)

shortly after i started writing genshin fic, i had an idea that really tested me quite a bit, partly because someone actually left quite an unkind comment and it made me reflect on the story - and what upset me wasn't their comment, per se, but that they discovered something about my story that, once i saw it, felt lacking. i think that although it was an uncomfortable situation, ultimately that helped me reflect more on my character arcs and motivations, and it's actually very much standard practice now when i get stuck somewhere while writing to pace out a character's motivation to help me keep my focus on their arc

long after i got into genshin, i wrote a fic for a character without a name. like. a whole entire almost 7k of a story where the pov character has no name. this taught me nothing cause i literally did it again lmao

i will also toss in my general cop-out commentary that any time i write a new pairing, it's outside my comfort zone! and it's always a good way to stretch my thoughts and approaches as i consider the nuances of a new dynamic, and i think it helps me too in looking at characters and dynamics i've written before with new skills in my pocket

31. What’s your ideal fic length to write?

hmm probably in the ~15k range? i feel like that's where i have enough range to really fully flesh out an idea and go through a broader story but not so long that there's complex worldbuilding involved? not that i don't love writing longfic, but the time and investment that goes into them can sometimes be overwhelming and it's not something i want every fic to entail lmao

32. What’s your ideal fic length to read?

under 10k!! this is like the super sweet spot for me to look at it and go 'yeah i'll leave that open in a tab to read during a short break or while i'm eating lunch or-' etc etc. more than that and i default to going 'oh i should mark that for later' and unfortunately those often disappear into the aether lmao

[send me fic/writing asks from this list!]

[shrimpmandan]

Oh yeah no I completely agree that CSEM content should not be decriminalized in the grand scheme of things. It just can't be ethically sourced. It's definitely interesting to think about and I do think it can open the door to further academic discussions about "simulated child porn" (lolisho, child sex dolls, etc.) and its potential for harm reduction. Or, at the absolute least, the fact that the existence of those things doesn't appear to have any marked impact on CSA rates.

I will say I find your last paragraph to be a little... silly? Not in the sense that it's completely wrong, but that it posits children developing fetishes as an issue when it really isn't. There also seems to be a bit of a double-standard going on where you treat "normal, good fetishes" (so to speak) as being "natural", whereas the "weird proship fetishes" are something that can NEVER be hardwired and have to be gained through some sort of trauma or exposure. This is just flatly untrue and ignores a lot of nuance in how sexual fetishes form.

Like, a foot fetish could absolutely be formed through early childhood exposure to foot fetish content or trauma! Similarly, someone could have no exposure to incest porn at an early age, but still fantasize about it regardless, or discover it as an adult and go "hey that's pretty hot actually". A lot of antis on Twitter in particular seem to have a very strong reaction towards non-con fetishes for example, despite rape fantasies being prevalent in around 50-60% of both men and women. Were all of those people just exposed to and "corrupted by" rape porn? Most likely not. Fetishes are usually gained through a mixture of evolutionary, biological, and environmental factors. Even the icky ones. Someone had to be the one to create the first piece of loli porn, after all!

The idea of "implanting a fetish that wouldn't have been there otherwise" is an interesting one, if nothing else. It feels like a really niche form of sexual puritanicism, wherein the only "good" sexuality would be one that's uncorrupted by outside forces, when that just... can't exist. All fetishes are morally neutral regardless of how they originated. Maybe I'd be into all the same stuff I'm into now even if I had a completely normal childhood. I wouldn't know because that's not the childhood I got. Why should I worry about it when it's something completely hypothetical, y'know?

I do want to go back to the question of "why would anyone want to be proship", though, since I kinda skipped it over. For me personally, the proship label is a "beware of dog" sign. I don't want to be friends with people who would attempt to control or judge what I can write, draw, or otherwise fantasize about. I deal with enough moral OCD as it is! But in terms of "proshipping" as like... an action? I just like problematic content. I've always had a strong interest in psychology. One of THE MOST interesting things to me is the exploration of toxic, abusive, and imbalanced relationships. I adore character studies, drama, angst, and hypotheticals. I love characters who are horrible for each other but still love each other anyways. It scratches my brain; it makes me happy! And sometimes, it's something I relate to. That kinda content naturally isn't for everyone, and that's fine. So long as people aren't trying to control what I choose to create or consume based off of their own tastes, I don't really care. I'm certainly not telling people to not write omegaverse just 'cuz I don't like it.

Of course, 'proship content' has also been very useful for me in processing my trauma. The only time I ever cried about being sexually assaulted was when I was roleplaying one of my characters getting raped. It was very cathartic. It's also cathartic when I write about characters being maimed and torn apart. It helps me! It might not help someone else, but again, that's fine. One man's trigger is another man's coping mechanism. I just didn't want to place too much focus on the idea of problematic content as strictly a trauma response, since it's not the case for everyone, and I very strongly believe you don't need to be a victim of trauma to "justify" having a kink or enjoying a certain dynamic anyways.

Heartbreaking! Proship mutual turns out to be anti-porn and reblogs from radfems, some the fuck how

Anyways, block me if you’re anti-porn as a whole. I understand being against the porn industry, especially when it comes to big names like PornHub with flimsy age verification and a whole host of genuine rape and revenge porn if you look for it. But what I hate about these conversations is they make the problem out to be porn itself, and NOT how careless big porn sites are, and how they directly profit off of abuse/underage/rape porn. (Though it should be noted that even if PornHub and other big platforms didn’t exist, genuinely awful content would still exist. All that would change is making it more underground and even more difficult to find and report– it’s a double-edged sword.)

Someone posting a video of themselves masturbating? Harmless. A couple posting a video of them having vanilla sex for their audience? Harmless. Kinksters engaging in CNC and other risky but healthy BDSM practices for their audience? Harmless. Porn includes amateur, homemade stuff that people posted for fun, and those people deserve respect and support. You can be in support of porn while still being against actual rape, sex trafficking, child molestation, and abuse. They are not synonymous.

And, flatly, you can’t be sex positive in any capacity if you wholeheartedly and openly agree with the sentiments of SWERFs that porn (and sex work in general) is some inherently vile force, and not just a natural expression of human sexuality that unfortunately has been hijacked by greedy, abusive studios who don’t actually care about their actors or actresses. Sex workers of all varieties deserve respect. Listen to the ones who have been trafficked and abused, and listen to the ones who’ve found sex work to be fun and liberating. Both perspectives matter.

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

Hello all, I'm back with another prompt for Werewolf Inclusivity Lore: Round 3

(Previous rounds were about gender and werewolves, and disability and werewolves, in case you're staring at this going 'What the fuck')

Anyway both previous discussions were equal parts fascinating and also super helpful to me personally, so I'm back with another! As ever, if you feel you want to chime in, please feel free to contact me however you wish, including privately and/or anonymously. Also, my standard disclaimer applies: this is for a series of very silly werewolf erotica novels set in Wales, and these discussions are to help me with casual representation - none of these books will be ABOUT these topics, they'll just feature them. Please do not expect a gripping and resonant treatise about what it means to be a trans werewolf. Please just expect some of the sexy werewolves to be trans.

Okay, with that out of the way, Topic Three:

Religion and Werewolves

(Read More to save your dashboards)

Right, now, for the most part this one is straight forward, because they have their own religion, right? They worship a Moon Goddess. The details of that are for me to invent and hash out (the genre I'm writing in has certainly never done so); I am more than happy for there to be regional variants of this religion though. As it's set in Wales I've given her a Welsh name, but I do think outside of Wales she'll have others (I'm also strongly leaning towards her having a cyclical gender presentation these days - most feminine at full moon, most masculine at new moon). All packs do worship her, though, because they're biologically attuned to the moon in a pretty unignorable way, and they believe the bonds between soulmates come from her (v important in an erotica book), and also when all is said and done I really do not intend to overcomplicate this. So far, so simple.

Now, I am trying to make a tidy percentage of characters POC, as I don't want to write a whitewash. But, given that religions can often have heavy interplay between culture and even ethnicity, I would like anyone who is not a mayonnaise-on-white-bread atheist like myself to chime in on what they would feel comfortable seeing integrated (as ever, I fully recognise that milage will differ.) So, for example:

If you wear religious (or religion-influenced) clothing, accessories or makeup, such as a hijab, would you want to see a werewolf character wearing it? I realise some items will be much more likely than others (and some are out of the question anyway - a crucifix is not going to work). If yes, would you be happy with a fake religious in-text reason for it?

If you're part of an ethno-religion like Judaism, how might an explicitly Jewish werewolf work (assuming you're happy to see one)? For context, this is not a genre that has a concept of humans being transformed by bite (although I could if necessary come up with something), but there is very much a concept of werewolves sometimes having human soulmates. So, it is feasible for a Jewish woman to have been mated with a werewolf and had kids, if that helps. However, would you want to see such a character be religiously Jewish? Or some fun new amalgamation? (Alternatively is there anything in Jewish history where you could go "Well, a bunch of groups broke apart from each other at that point and migrated away, so maybe one group became werewolves and that's why they left"? Can you spot them because they use Moon of David iconography instead of the Star? Idk help me pls)

Is there anything you can think of that I haven't even touched on here?

Do you think any or all of this is a terrible idea that should be destroyed with fire and I must be stopped now? I would much rather be told 'no' now, so I don't do it. Please don't feel nervous about telling me this is a bad plan.

I CANNOT STRESS ENOUGH THAT ALL OF THIS IS BACKGROUND LORE. I will not be writing a book ABOUT this stuff. Just potentially featuring it.

As a final bonus, if your culture has a fun tradition of were-creatures other than wolves that you think would be good to integrate, HMU. Like bears in Scandinavia, for example. The world is full of were-creatures but werewolves specifically are primarily European. Like I know India has a tradition of were-tigers! Which carries with it the fear of accidentally writing racist trash like The Tiger's Curse, but I also wouldn't want to deprive us the glory of a were-tiger character if people would actually want to see one, you know? (If it helps I am happy to write a super objectified and stereotypical Scandinavian were-bear called Björn Vikingson into the same book who only eats fermented herring and blueberries and lives in an IKEA, so that any tiger character is super nuanced by comparison.)

Anyway, all answers appreciated, feel no pressure to chime in unless you want to. Thanks all!

[ijustwant2write]

A Secret Romantic-Benedict Bridgerton x Reader x Eloise Bridgerton (Platonic)

(GIF credit to @aryaofoldstones​)

Requested by anonymous: ‘Hello! I saw your looking for Bridgerton requests, I would love some Benedict x Eloise sibling fluff! They have such a good dynamic in the show and I need more’

(I wouldn’t mind making another part of this if people want it tbh)

Characters: Benedict Bridgerton x Reader, Eloise Bridgerton x Reader (platonic)

Meanings: (Y/N)=Your name

(Y/L/N)=Your last name

Warnings: Fluff, fluff, fluff

                                     *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Eloise’s gloved hands clung onto her book as she and her family arrived at yet another social event, a ball once again. Her mama had ensured she was dressed to catch the eyes of men, and Eloise knew that meant there would be no room for intelligent conversation. With Daphne now married to the Duke, Eloise had more pressure on her shoulders than she imagined, having to find a suitor of similar standards. However, it wasn’t just her on the market, her brothers were too, especially Benedict (Violet knew it would be extremely difficult to marry off Anthony first, opting for the second eldest son).

Eloise smiled whenever her mama looked her way, though it quickly disappeared once she turned around. Benedict had been instructed to escort her sister around the ball to help seek out suitors, the men knew each other or something about someone; he could help her meet the right one.

“I cannot believe I am here.” Eloise moaned as she looped her arm through her brothers.

“Believe me sister, I do not wish to be here either.”

“Why must you parade me around like a horse at a dressage in order to find a new owner?” Eloise kept catching the men’s gazes, turning up her nose in disgust.

“So dramatic.” he chuckled.

She scoffed.“Well, if you’re going to advise me on who I should be marrying, I shall do the same for you. Now let’s see...”

Eloise looked around the room at all the women, wondering who would be the best match for her brother. Most of these women had no personalities, relying on their outfits to express themselves. Eloise knew of some ladies that were nice, though had nothing in common with her brother.

Eloise shrugged, tugging on her brother’s arm towards the door.“Ah, there’s no one here for us. Let us make haste and leave-”

“Oh no you don’t,” Benedict pulled her back,“we have been strictly told to stay for the night, even if it is just to socialise and...get our names out there.”

Eloise groaned a little too loudly, Ben ducking his head in embarrassment.“How long do these balls go on for?”

“I have never stayed for the full duration.”

“That’s not the answer I want to hear.”

Benedict glanced down at her, somehow only just realising that Eloise had brought a book with her.“Is that book sewed to your hand sister?”

“I brought it just in case I became bored. Which I am already.”

“I shall go and grab us some refreshments. Might as well enjoy them whilst we’re here.”

Eloise let her brother slip away, quickly finding a hiding spot by leaning up against a wall, away from the hustle and bustle of the crowds. She opened her book, continuing where she left off, happy she brought a pencil to scribble down notes for later. The studying never stopped for Eloise. 

“Excuse me?” a woman’s voice interrupted her too soon.

Eloise tried her best to be polite, though her smile came off as sarcastic.“Yes?”

“Sorry,” the woman looked taken back,“I thought you were reading a book that I am reading at the moment, but I was wrong. I’ve disturbed you, I shall leave you alone-”

“Wait,” Eloise had now sparked an interest. No other lady had ever approached her like this,“I don’t mean to be rude. What book had you expected?”

“It’s oh so obvious, but I’ve been reading ‘Pride and Prejudice’ by Jane Austen. It’s the newest book out at the moment, and my mama lets me read it seeing as it involves a woman finding someone to marry. Although, it’s definitely about something deeper, that’s just what I told her.”

“I don’t indulge in romantic novels myself, but I am glad to hear of a female author selling her work.”

“It’s fantastic. And it’s nice to be able to read something without it being snatched out of my hands. Oh, where are my manners? I’m (Y/N) (Y/L/N). Sorry, I’ve been dancing with men all night and none of the conversations have been as riveting as this so far.”

“Why am I not surprised?” they both laughed.“I’m Eloise Bridgerton.”

(Y/N) tried to not show her shock when she heard the surname. They were only the most talked about family, her mama had gone on and on about them, especially when Lady Whistledown mentioned them in her writings. 

“It’s a pleasure to meet you. Might I ask what it is that you are reading?”

“It is to do with my studies. I truly hate these events, so I thought I would ensure my mind was being worked properly.” Eloise realised that could come off as rude, squeezing her eyes shut in embarrassment.“I did not mean to offend you by that.”

“It really isn’t any bother.” (Y/N) giggled.“I rather enjoy these just for the dancing and drinks, I find promenading to be more successful in finding a suitor. Though I would much rather sneak off and see if I can get a few more pages in of a book I shouldn’t be reading.”

“Eloise, why must you go wondering off like that...” Benedict’s words trailed off as he approached his sister, spotting a beautiful woman stood by her.

Eloise’s eyes flickered between the two, and she smiled when she saw the adoration in her brother’s eyes. Cheekily taking the two glasses from his hands, she passed one to (Y/N), who awkwardly took it. (Y/N) had gazed upon the Bridgerton men in passing, they were very nice to look at. Of course, she never divulged in any fantasies about them, that would be silly. But seeing one in front of her had taken her breath away.

“Thank you brother.” Eloise said, taking a sip.“This is Lady (Y/N) (Y/L/N), a new friend of mine.”

He gently took her free hand in his, bending forwards slightly to kiss it. (Y/N) had this done to her many times, but this was different. Benedict made her feel butterflies in her stomach. Eloise could tell her mama was going to love this.

She cleared her throat.“We were just speaking of art, actually.”

(Y/N) furrowed her eyebrows.“We were talking about books.”

“I was about to move the topic along.”

“What kind of art would that be then?” Benedict asked, knowing what game his sister was playing. 

“The...drawing, kind.”

“Isn’t all art drawn?”

“No, it is also painted.”

“I think artists may sketch out a rough idea before painting.”

“Well you would know brother, seeing as you yourself are an artist.”

“I wouldn’t say that-”

“You paint, Lord Bridgerton?” (Y/N) asked.

“Ah, yes, and I sketch.” he hoped his cheeks weren’t turning red. 

“Anything in particular?”

“Mostly people.”

“Are you both attending the art exhibition my family are holding next week?”

“That’s your families’ exhibit?” Benedict became excited.

“Yes, my father collects a lot of art work. Then mother realised she could make a social event out of it, but at least everyone will be able to admire the work.”

“Would you believe it, we already have it noted down in our social calendar!” Eloise informed (Y/N). Benedict could sense her over-reacting, trying to keep a smile as (Y/N)’s face lit up in excitement. 

“Perfect!” (Y/N) looked back up at Ben, making him stand a little taller.“It will be nice to have someone there who knows about the artwork. It will make for an interesting conversation. Just don’t let my father lecture you, he will talk for far too long! And I know you will be too polite to try and get away.”

“My brother is very polite.” Eloise said.“In fact, I’m surprised he hasn’t-”

“Excuse me for the intrusion,” a young man said from beside (Y/N),“but I was wondering if we could resume our dance lady (Y/N)?”

(Y/N) was smiling, but Eloise knew that look; it was the face women made when a man who made them uncomfortable approached, but they had to remain ladylike and polite.

“Actually my brother just asked her and she said yes. You two best make your way to the floor before the music starts again.” Eloise nudged her brother.

Benedict was confused at his sisters offer, until he locked eyes with (Y/N) again. They were pleading him to sweep her away, she was even leaning away from this man. He had been disrespectful in some way, and he wasn’t letting (Y/N) go through that again (despite only knowing the girl for a few minutes). He smugly smiled at the man, holding out his arm which (Y/N) took a little too quickly. Eloise was happy with herself as the pair walked off, sending the man a death glare when he asked her to dance instead. Once he left, her eyes went back to find her brother, who was already dancing with (Y/N), both smiling and laughing. Her mama was going to be ecstatic about this. 

                                       *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Eloise sat in the drawing room, obviously lounging with a book. Her younger siblings were being irritating as usual, running around her in circles. Before they arrived, she had peace. Eloise wanted a few moments alone, because she knew her mama would be bursting with questions about the night before.

“Ah, there you are.” Violet said as she walked in.

The book flopped into Eloise’s lap, a frown on her face. There goes her reading time.

“So, how was last night? Did you meet anyone?” her mama sat beside her.“You two, go play outside if you’re going to run around please.”

The children stopped as their mama spoke, sending each other devilish grins before they ran out of the room again, their giggling echoing down the halls. Violet went to shout after them, but decided to leave it be, there were more pressing matters.

“Well mama, do you see any suitors?” Eloise gestured around her.

Violet sighed.“Did you even try last night?”

“My life will not be reduced to a single night where I was forced to peacock around in order to please a man.”

“Oh, Eloise, must you make everything so dramatic?”

“Funny, Benedict said the same thing.”

“Actually, where is your brother? I have not seen him all morning.”

“He went out.” Eloise was relieved that the focus would now be off of her.“He’s calling upon a lady.”

Violet’s eyes widened.“What? When? Who?”

“Lady (Y/N) (Y/L/N).”

“(Y/L/N)? They are quite reputable.”

Eloise rolled her eyes.“Mama, she is a lovely girl. I don’t think you should just judge her on what family she comes from.”

“Oh, so you approve of this girl?”

“I...I mean...Well, I only spoke with her for a mere few minutes.”

“But?”

Eloise let out a huff.“I enjoyed her company. I think Benedict likes her. I didn’t see him for the rest of the night until it was time to leave. He spent all his time with her.”

Violet became overjoyed.“Oh, what marvelous news! I wish he had told me. Do you know what he took to her? Flowers? Food?”

“I have no idea mama. Just wait for his return and he will tell you all the details. I am not a psychic.”

Violet was impatient as she awaited the return of her son. Poor Collin had also been questioned when he showed up in the drawing room, but he had overslept in bed, waking with a terrible headache. It seemed that it was about to come back to him when his mama bombarded him with questions as to why he hadn’t called upon anyone that morning. Eloise kept her giggles quiet, ducking behind her book when Collin sent her daggers.

Poor Benedict had no idea what was in store for him. His cheeks were aching from how much he was smiling. He wasn’t surprised when he arrived at the (Y/L/N)’s house and saw multiple callers for (Y/N). However, jealousy rose inside him when he thought about these men dancing with her, trying to convince her that they were the man to marry. He held a beautiful bouquet of flowers, remembering that (Y/N) had mentioned her favourite the night before. Looking around at any other flowers she received, he was glad to see no other gentleman had chose it. Surely that would show he was listening? He endured sonnets, stories, songs and boasting from the other men, trying not to show his dissatisfaction as each one stepped forward. There was pressure that her parents were there, especially when he realised he was the last gentleman, everyone else had left.

(Y/N) had been incredibly anxious when she saw Benedict that morning. He had been the only man she genuinely smiled at, hoping he came at his own will, not forced by his mama. The night before had been the best ball (Y/N) had ever been to. Benedict was sweet, charming, handsome and interesting. They were able to talk about anything and everything, no small talk involved like all the other men she danced with. He had swooned her, and here he was, calling upon her. 

Back at the Bridgerton house, Violet had not sat down since talking Collin’s ear off. Eloise was still in the drawing room with her, as were her two youngest siblings, munching on biscuits as they threw questions at their mama. She did not have all the answers, sometimes not even hearing them speak for she was too deep in her thoughts. At one point, she did sit, but beside the window, o the lookout for any signs of her son. When a carriage pulled up in front of the house, Violet leapt out of her seat, startling her children. She made a beeline to the door, standing there with her hands clasped together. When Benedict walked in, he too flinched, not expecting his mama to be there.

“Mama, how long have you been stood there?” Benedict asked as he walked past her, pinching a biscuit from his brother’s plate.

“She’s been waiting for you.” Eloise explained, also excited to hear about his calling.

“I hope you sat down at some point.” he joked, sitting beside Eloise and slouching.

Violet hurried to sit on the sofa across him.“You didn’t tell me you were calling on a lady this morning.”

“Well, we got back late from the ball yesterday evening, and I had to leave early to ensure I got there in good time. Though it seemed every other man thought that too.”

“There were many men there?” 

“Yes, quite a few.”

Eloise straightened up at her brother’s grumpy expression.“You really like her!”

“How wonderful!” Violet gushed. 

“Do not get ahead of yourselves.”

“But you do, don’t you? Otherwise you wouldn’t have called on her.”

Ben was lost for words. He couldn’t argue with that, and he did like seeing his mama happy.“Yes, yes I do. And it would seem she reciprocates the feelings.”

“This is such good news! I must see what our social calendar looks like, we must ensure you two spend time together.”

“Actually mama-” Eloise went to tell her about the art exhibit until Ben interrupted.

“Good idea mama.” he nodded, smiling at her as she walked away, a spring in her step. Once she was gone, he let out a big breath.“I just needed a moment without questions from her.”

“Well, you’re going to have questions from me.” Eloise angled her body to face him, her elbow perched on the sofa with her face resting in her hand.“I didn’t think you were going to call upon her. Are my match making skills really that good?”

“I hate to admit it, but yes, you have done an excellent job.” Benedict felt relaxed thinking about (Y/N).

“So, what happened this morning?”

“I took her flowers, she told me her favourites last night, and then I had to sit there whilst her other gentleman callers desperately tried to impress her. It was agony! Finally I was able to have time with her, and it was just...I don’t know how to put it into words.”

“Did you bring her anything else?”

Benedict became bashful.“I brought her a sketchbook, like the one I have. She mentioned how she used to often sketch when she was younger. I thought it would be a unique gift.”

“Benedict, you truly are a romantic at heart.”

“For her I am, yes.”

Eloise smiled for her brother, until a smirk fell on his face.“What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Aw, is someone also a secret romantic?”

“No!” Eloise protested, quickly grabbing her book again.“I am just happy you found someone.”

“And you helped, because you secretly want everyone to find someone.”

“No I don’t! You’re ruining this moment now Benedict.”

“Don’t worry Eloise, you’ll find someone.” Ben joked.

She groaned.“You are insufferable...but I still want to go to that art exhibit.”

“To see love bloom?”

“N-no, to see the art work.”

“Of course, of course. But, thank you Eloise.”

She tried not to smile, but couldn’t help it.“You’re welcome.”