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jsaunderswrites · 9 months ago

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Watching Jurassic World Dominion, hoping for it to be less bad than the others but ready for it to be the worst.

My various opinions pro and con:

Pros:

The cretaceous prologue was cool, if not entirely accurate.

Seeing dinos in the wider world is cool, the found footage in the newsreel is all reused from Battle at Big Rock but still rocks.

Poachers and breeding mills make perfect sense in this kind of world.

The apatosaurus at the lumber yard was kinda magical.

I never gave a shit about Blue, but dinosaurs building nests in the detritus of human industry is soooo cool!

Neil and Dean IMMEDIATELY have so much better chemistry than Pratt and Howard, it's night and day.

I wanna pet the baby dino too!

Grant being unhappy to learn the T. rex is at the sanctuary, and sarcastically deriding Malcolm's personality are references that feel organic, not forced.

Turning Henry Wu into a supervillain was stupid, so I'm glad they're backtracking that.

Okay Ramsay is cool!

Grant catching Malcolm was a nice moment, should've been built up to more, imagine a version of the movie where they're rocky relationship is the emotional throughline instead of Maisie's clone mum. But it was still nice.

Ian gives shitty directions.

Rexy framed in the water feature was cute.

I hope Rexy (being a very old gal at this point) gets to enjoy her new family in her last years. Apparently they're now theorising that tyrannosaurus was a social hunter too!

Cool shots of dinos in the world.

Cons:

The T. rex's appearance at the drive-in was filled with people acting pointlessly stupid for no reason. Why weren't they watching a monster movie so them assuming the screams and roars were from that, instead of an ad for the snack bar?

Owen is still in these movies.

The newsreel brings up Maisie for absolutely no reason as there was no connection to the topic she was discussing, it's just for bad exposition.

I am soooo sick of the clone question in fiction. DNA isn't your identity, identical twins and even natural clones already exist. It's a quirk, not a sign you're not "real". Stop whining about it already.

They got through literally 8 words of trying to be nice, and immediately went "Ew, sincerity? Gross! Better cover that up with a joke before people start to think our characters have souls!"

Maybe it's just me but I think hiding your child from the world is waaaay more suspicious than her sharing the face of a woman who died decades ago that no one has ever heard of. If I were a perfect clone of some 80s guy how would anyone who met me ever learn that?

Owen has a psychic raptor sense? What was that shot after Blue attacked the hunters trying to communicate?

Ellie shows up in the exact pink top and dramatically removes her sunglasses the same way as in '93. Did they think they were being too subtle?

Teenagers and phones jokes, gotta play to the septuagenarian crowd. And why is he giving a presentation to just two teenage girls who didn't care?

Owen being able to talk to Blue always feels unjustified, I bet when our ancestors were first domesticating wolves they had big sticks for when they didn't listen.

Hipster coffee jokes, the height of comedy is that young people suck.

The small feathery dinosaur does a chicken thing because we think it looks chicken like, despite all the therapods being just as genetically bird. Details like that pull me out of the film because you know they wouldn't have the velocoraptors or compys run around headless.

Claire sucks at investigating.

Owen's stupid hand thing isn't cool no matter how much they think it is.

Just interrogating a guy while he's being eaten, good guy things.

People just standing around watching while giant predators rampage behind them.

Every chase that relies on the heroes being faster and more agile than raptors feels so dumb.

Oh god two-person hand thing.

Evil smuggler lady signed up for a 1940s noire and doesn't know why no one is matching her lack of energy.

Raptor gets hit by a truck, no problem, because they aren't animals but super monsters.

The movie says "you the audience only care about what happens to Maisie, you have no concern for the people of Malta as they're eaten on screen. That's just fun spectacle."

In some movies having to jump a motorbike onto a plane before it lifts off would be cool, these movies have robbed me of the ability to enjoy that.

Owen shouting "ARE YOU HURT!?" at claire is the first sign he actually gives a shit about her, and it still feels douchey.

(looking back and seeing how long since I listed a pro, nothing in the Malta scenes!)

How are you cloning "pure" dinosaurs? The whole franchise is based around the idea you need to bridge the inevitable gaps!

Maisie's backstory is all retconned for more clone BS.

Figures miss "let's release all these incredibly dangerous creatures into society because I'm sad I share my genetic code with someone else" wouldn't care about stopping the apocalypse.

Quetzalcoatlus murders a plane because... <shrug>

That "I love you" felt fake, how are they so bad at being a couple?

Gotta make sure the new character is military like her parent, because what idiot would make a non-soldier hero!? I am so goddam sick of characters just having a military background for no fucking reason in movies, bring back unlikely heroes!

I'm sorry but I don't care about Maisie's mum and the movie is banking on me actually caring.

Genetic Power is a dumb term.

All the classic heroes met Rexy once and it changed cinema forever, Owen bumps into her every week and we couldn't care less!

There's no reason the bad guy had to be that random guy from JP1. That guy didn't read like evil Steve Jobs.

Dimetrodons do not read dangerous pack hunters to me.

Owen strangles a dilophosaurus because he is a Mary Sue. It's just to show how cool he is while undoing the actual threat of the scene.

When the chamber specifically built to contain and immolate the locusts fails without any kind of sabotage or outside interference. Because NOTHING just works.

And Ian just parks and suddenly they're teetering on the edge of a cliff!? Can't they put in reasons why things are going wrong!?

They try to parallel the old heroes with the new ones and I'm sorry but the old ones have actual fun personalities.

The LARGEST TERESTRIAL CARNIVORE OF ALL TIME eats single bug. Big scary entrance ruined.

Treverrow said the giganotosaurus is "like the joker" it's not in the movie but it's still stupid.

It's chasing them is so understated, where's the freaking music? It doesn't sound big at all!

Oh man this whole giganotosaurus sequence is so bad! So slow and clumsy!

Owen tries to explain how raptor training works, still doesn't work.

Ellie talking to Claire about regrets, why? What regrets is Ellie talking about?

Goddamit Maisie AND Grant double hand thing!? I do not like this movie!

The computers reboot and the bugs come back to life, so the scene communicates that the bugs were rebooted.

Dodgson getting Nedry'd to the extent of LITTERALY HAVING THE SHAVING CREAM. And the cream has no purpose in this film, it's ONLY a blatant reference.

From the dumbass motherhood stuff in World to the obsession with Maisie's biological mum in this, these movies have an incredibly basic and bland view on parenthood. (Goldilocks > Maisie Lockwood)

"It's always him!" Except those times it wasn't, including YOUR OWN movie!

At the start the giganotosaurus killed the T. rex, later they mention there can't be two alpha predators, and now they're fighting. But unlike HtTYD2 that alpha stuff has nothing to do with the rest of the film, so this "rivalry" feels meaningless.

Genetic dino memory.

Why should I care that giga is dead? The humans had already escaped, the fight was meaningless.

Every relationship that is being wrapped up in this ending wasn't built up adequately, Grant an Ellie were ready to get back together in scene one and Maisie ONLY sees that Owen and Claire come to find her and immediately gets over her mummy issues.

Kayla was such a nothing addition to the movie. I don't know why she's here.

"Life has existed for hundreds of millions of years" and "life existed 65 million years ago" dude life has existed for BILLIONS of years! Dinosaurs are our next door neighbours on the ocean of time!

The ending speech is about coexistence, unlike the entire rest of the film.

Neutral:

Atrociraptor is so fake sounding when I saw the toys I thought they would be the new hybrid dinos, not just an actual name some palaeontologists came up with. Honestly, that makes me chuckle.

Howard is shot weirdly, I looked up if she was pregnant during this film because I feel like she's always either wearing heavier coverings or just has her torso blocked behind something. (specifically I am about 1 1/4 hours in) Apparently she was dealing with weight shaming behind the scenes, I don't know if that has anything to do with it though.

So this is the Jurassic Park III; Alan Grant is asked to travel to a location full of free range dinos, and they're searching for a missing kid.

The gate code should've just been 1234 because no one bothered to change it from default.

Final opinion:

Probably the least bad of the three Jurassic Worlds, still an utter mess made up of disparate moments and meaningless speeches that do not add up to any thesis.

I hope Edwards' Jurassic Park 7 is ANYTHING of value, despite not caring for his Godzilla or Rogue One.

Now to get back to Camp Cretaceous.

#jurassic world: dominion

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yoohoo-undead-unleashed · 11 months ago

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Chapter Eight: Subdued and captured

"MOVE, MOVE, MOVE! NOW!"

The gators skidded across the forest, the Nega-Dragon not far behind.

"WHY IS SHE SO FAST?!"

They were cornered.

"Hey, hey, hey, don't kill us, we'll leave you alone, okay?!" Koops stammered.

"Yeah! We'll do anything!" Oops blubbered. "Please, I want to live!"

"Anything...?" she growled. "Hmm."

She looked them dead in the eyes.

"Either tell me where the Soul Pots are, or tell me everything you know about the Big Boss, and I'll consider letting you go."

"What?! No way! All we know for sure about either is that the Soul Pot we activated is in the Death Forest, and the Boss wants us to get them the water from the Fountain of Youth!" Koops snapped.

"Don't lie to me."

She grabbed the two and pinned them both to the ground with one hand, eyes burning with rage.

"I'm not going to ask you again," she snarled. "Tell me about the Soul Pots or the Big Boss. Remember. The. Deal."

"W-we're serious! That's all we know!" Oops babbled. "I don't know what you're trying to get a—"

"TELL ME!"

She was holding back her strength this whole time, and this was enough to reach her limit.

Before the gators knew it, the Monster was suddenly four times its previous size, and they were almost being choked out.

"This is going to the last time I'll ever ask you before I've fully made up my mind," she warned them. "Tell me. Give me answers."

The gators only quaked in their boots in her grasp.

She could feel the fire rumbling in her throat, wanting to get out and burn them both up—

It was like everything was drained from her.

Damn it.

She collapsed.

Damn it, not again...

The last thing she saw as her consciousness faded was the duo's eyes lighting up as they saw her shrink down back to a more vulnerable state.

The Boss was so going to be proud of them.

They'd expected to see a Monster today.

However, they didn't expect their new companion turning into one right in front of them.

They also didn't expect her having a history with the two strangers they'd just met.

The Minotaur roared again.

Oh, right. They almost forgot that it was gunning for them.

They all bolted, pushing themselves free from the Undead and running in circles like headless chickens as the Monster chased them, smashing the trees around it to see its food.

Pammee was starting to tire out from all this.

"Pammee! Grab my hand!" Chewoo shouted.

The fennec reached out for it...

Right as the Minotaur grabbed her.

She screamed as soon as its fingers wrapped around her body.

Now, if you knew Pammee, whenever she was scared or in danger, the first thing she did was scream.

And it was loud.

It was loud enough to make the Monster bellow in pain and cover its ears, dropping her as it hunched over to do so.

Roodee suddenly had an idea.

"Guys! Start shooting at it while it's vulnerable!"

Everyone drew out their weapons and began their assault.

Something strange happened as they did so, however.

The Undead seemed to sense the Minotaur's distress, so they threw themselves in front of it.

The group was shocked as they all witnessed one of the Undead dissipating into...

"That's a Soul!" Lemmee gasped.

The Monster knew it couldn't win this if it didn't do anything.

It staggered to its feet as it tried to reach for the Soul, but Chewoo decided on a failsafe strategy in case this was to happen.

She sprinted towards its face, throwing the Soul to the others as she did.

As soon as she was close enough, she raised an arm, aiming right at the spot.

"Chewoo Chop!"

The side of her hand landed on the middle of the Minotaur's head.

With one last roar of pain, it fell to the ground, finally down for the count.

Opening her eyes, she knew something wasn't good.

It was dark.

Really dark.

And tight.

She tried to get out of whatever prison this was supposed to be, struggling to make even a single dent in the space.

Bad idea.

She felt herself falling, and slammed into the ground, her means of capture popping open, finally letting her see where she was.

Looking around, she took note that she was in an office of some sort.

And she'd been in a suitcase this entire time.

Sighing, she tried looking for more hints as to what this place's nature was.

Wait.

The suitcase.

Her heart dropped as she realized what was going on.

Those meddlesome gators had taken her to their domain.

The only thing she could do now...

Was escape.

#goonya monster #グーニャモンスター #yoohoo #yoohoo and friends #yoohoo: undead unleashed

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yurtletheturtlehenderson · 3 years ago

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COSMIC - S1:E5; Chapter Five, The Flea and The Acrobat - [Pt. 4 - FINAL]

A Will Byers x Male!Reader Series

𝘏𝘰𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘳 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘬𝘴 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘢𝘣 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘢𝘯𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘴, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴. 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘺 𝘢𝘴𝘬𝘴 ��𝘳. 𝘊𝘭𝘢𝘳𝘬𝘦 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘭 𝘵𝘰 𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘥𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯.

|| 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐏𝐎𝐕 ||

With Dustin in the lead, we found ourselves stopped atop a hill, at what I assume is a scrapyard. Old vehicles like abandoned cars and buses scattered around the area.

Dustin came to a stop and looked around.

"Oh, no." He muttered.

"'Oh, no'? What's, 'Oh, no'?" Lucas asked in a panicked tone.

Dustin turned around to look at us.

"We're headed back home."

"What?" Even Mike seemed to be frustrated.

"Dustin, are you sure?" I ask, irritation and exhaustion creeping up on me.

"Yeah, I'm sure. Setting sun, right there." He pointed past us in the direction of the sky. "We looped right back around."

I sighed, shifting on my feet as I run a hand down my face.

"And you're just realizing this now?" Lucas snapped.

"Why is this all on me?"

"Because you're the compass genius!"

"What do yours say?"

We all checked our compasses, mine was wobbly but nevertheless, pointing North.

Lucas, Mike and I all spoke at once.

"North."

We all sighed, and Dustin began slowly pacing, looking off into the distance deep in thought.

"Makes no damn sense."

"Maybe the gate moved," Mike offered.

"No, I don't think it's the gate." Dustin began looking all around us. "I think it's something else screwing with the compasses."

"Maybe it's something here?"

As Mike spoke, I didn't fail to notice the look that crossed Lucas's face as he slowly turned to face El.

"No, it has to be like a super magnet." Dustin replied.

Lucas rose his hand and began pointing at El accusingly. "It's not a magnet. She's been acting weirder than normal. If she can slam doors with her mind, she can definitely screw up a compass."

El stood rooted in place, a look of guilt and fear in her eyes.

"Why would she do that?" Mike snapped.

"Because she's trying to sabotage our mission. Because she's a traitor!"

As much as I hated to admit it to myself, it was the only logical explanation we had. It could be all too easy for her to screw with our compasses after what she showed herself capable of.

I shook my head, ridding myself of the conclusions my brain wanted to jump to.

"Lucas, come on. Think about what you're saying. Why would-" I rested a gentle hand on Lucas's shoulder to try and calm him down, only for him to rip his arm from my touch.

"Enough, Y/n! I'm so sick of you defending her! You of all people should be more worried for Will."

"I am!" I snapped, feeling the anger, fear and confusion of all I've been carrying the past few days shoot up to the surface unexpectedly.

I took a deep breath, trying to compose myself. "Just... Please. Hear her out."

Lucas never met my eye and only stomped towards the poor girl intimidatingly.

"Lucas, what are you doing?" Mike asked, following behind Lucas worriedly.

"You did it, didn't you? You don't want us to reach the gate. You don't want us to find Will." Lucas was in her face by now, and it as if the poor girl was on the verge of tears.

Dustin and I were toe in toe with the others and I walked up to Lucas, ready in case he decided to something rash.

Mike seemed to have the same idea.

"Lucas, come on, seriously, just leave her alone!"

"Admit it." Lucas spit.

"No." El muttered.

"Admit it!" We all jumped when Lucas began screaming.

He grabbed her right arm and examined her sleeve. There was a streak of shiny dark crimson on her sleeve.

Lucas swatted away her arm in disgust and frustration at the sight.

"Fresh blood. I knew it."

Dustin and I watched speechless as the boys began fighting.

"Lucas, come on!"

"I saw her wiping her nose on the tracks! She was using her powers!"

"Bull! That's old blood. Right, El?"

We all whipped our heads to El, waiting for her response.

At this point, she was fighting back tears, and her breath hitched.

"Right, El?" Mike asked again, less confident.

She began sobbing as she choked out her words.

"It's... not... it's not safe."

My stomach plunged as Dustin and I shared a look of worry and shock.

⊹ ⊹ ⊹

"What did I tell you? She's been playing us from the beginning!"

Lucas and Mike seemed to be having it out now and they wouldn't stop despite the many protests from either Dustin or I. My body seemed to have shut down, staring helplessly as my two best friends fight, at a complete loss for words from shock and knowing my words will make no difference.

"That's not true. She helped us find Will!"

"Find Will? Find Will? Where is he, then? Huh? I don't see him."

"Yeah, you know what I mean,"

"No, I actually don't. Just think about it, Mike. She could have just told us where the Upside Down was right away, but she didn't. She just made us run around like headless chickens."

With every word my body was feeling more and more on edge, my anxiety set in as I felt uncomfortable in my own skin at my friend's tearing each other apart. I started shifting back and forth, my hands rubbing the back of my neck.

Either Dustin noticed this, or he was sick of the fighting as well - or both for that matter - he stomped towards the boys and intervened.

"All right, calm down!"

"No! She used us, all of us! She helped just enough so she could get what she wants. Food and a bed. She's like a stray dog."

"Screw you, Lucas!"

"No! Screw you, Mike. You're blind... blind because you like that a girl's not grossed out by you. But wake up, man! Wake the hell up! She knows where Will is, and now she's just letting him die in the Upside Down."

"Shut up!"

"For all we know, it's her fault."

"Shut up."

"We're looking for some stupid monster... but did you ever stop to think that maybe she's the monster?"

'I don't want to believe it. I don't want to believe that El is the monster. I don't want my best friend to be missing, I don't want my friends to fight all the time. But at the same time, I can't afford to dismiss the possibility that maybe Lucas had a point. Not about her being a monster. No, that I refuse to believe, but her having something to do with everything that's been going on.'

What came next was a blur.

Mike couldn't take it anymore and lunged at Lucas, the boys toppled to the ground and began wrestling in the dirt. Dustin, El and I screaming at the top of our lungs for them to stop.

I looked to Dustin and El and back at the fighting boys. I ran to them attempting to pry Lucas off of Mike in a panic, knowing there was a big chance I'd get hit. But I didn't care and I couldn't stand by and do nothing.

"Enough! Please, stop! Just-"

I closed my eyes as I saw the blur of Lucas's hand strike me accidentally as he swung his arm back, ready to punch Mike. I felt the back of his fist collide with my nose and I fell back with a painful yelp.

I heard a shrill shriek and opened my eyes in time to see Lucas fly backward in the air about five feet and slide into an abandoned car door, lying unconscious.

I looked to Lucas in horror and ran to him, not caring about my gushing nose.

I dive in front of Lucas, trying to shake him awake.

The boys were right behind me.

"Lucas! Lucas, wake up! Lucas."

Nothing. I checked his head for injuries, my hand never leaving him as I look over my shoulder at El, horrified.

"What did you do?"

El stood rooted to the ground, sobs wracking her body as blood dripped down her nose. I could tell the guilty look in her eyes was genuine but I didn't have time to feel bad for her right now.

Lucas was my main priority. I turned my attention back to my friend.

Dustin and Mike were just as panicked as I was.

"Come on, wake up. Come on!" Dustin yelled.

"Come on, man. Lucas?" Mike muttered worriedly.

"Lucas? Lucas, come on!" I sniffled, weakly shaking him.

To my tremendous relief, Lucas slowly came to with a groan and his eyes fluttered open.

The three of us chuckled and laughed in relief. The weight in my lungs and heart were lifted at the sight

"Lucas." Mike let out in a shaky breath.

Lucas slowly sat up and blinked a few times, processing what just happened.

"Lucas, you okay?" Mike asked.

There was no response from our friend.

Dustin spoke up shakily as he held up three fingers.

"Lucas... Lucas, how many fingers am I holding up? Lucas, how many fingers?"

Mike began reaching forward towards Lucas's head, already one step ahead of me.

"Let me see your head." He offered gently, he was cut short went Lucas angrily shoved Mike's hand away.

"Get off of me!" He grunted, struggling to stand up.

"Lucas, come on, you could be hurt. Let us help." I try, my voice soft reaching for his shoulder.

He pushed my arm away in anger as he stood up, storming past me.

"I said, get off of me!" I detected a hint of fear in his voice this time and less anger, making me more sympathetic than angry at him.

Mike began to chase after him but Dustin and I seem to have the same thought as we both caught each of his arms

"Let him go."

I watched sorrowfully as my friend left without us.

"Man, let him go."

We all shared a somber silence when suddenly Mike spoke up.

"Where is El?"

I looked to where she had been standing previously only to find no one else in sight.

Mike's breathing increased and he began shouting for her.

"El! El!"

"Eleven!" Dustin had joined in.

I stood frozen, my voice failing me. I looked around me as hopelessness sunk in and solidified into guilt. The icy wind whipped my collar as the desperate voices of my friends was lost to the wind.

She was gone.

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yurtletheturtlehenderson · 3 years ago

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COSMIC - S1:E5; Chapter Five, The Flea and The Acrobat - [Pt. 4 - FINAL]

A Will Byers x Gender Neutral!Reader Series

𝘏𝘰𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘳 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘬𝘴 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘢𝘣 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘢𝘯𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘴, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴. 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘺 𝘢𝘴𝘬𝘴 𝘔𝘳. 𝘊𝘭𝘢𝘳𝘬𝘦 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘭 𝘵𝘰 𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘥𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯.

||𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑'𝐒 𝐏𝐎𝐕||