#where were you when uhh all of the backstory happened

[zmediaoutlet]

What's your opinion on the fandom rhetoric about how Sam lacks bodily autonomy but Dean has it? I personally think it's weird that it's such a widespread idea when it's just blatantly untrue. A big theme for Dean's character is that his body is seen as a weapon or tool for others to use, so it's strange that people claim that he has full bodily autonomy.

(...okay, that the gif is by 'unfuckablebogtroll' is somehow very fitting.)

I think my main opinion of the fandom rhetoric is that there are a lot of batshit bitter sam girls who screech that dean is a meanie meanerton who doesn't respect sammy's presh 'tonomy and there are a lot of batshit extreme dean girls who wail about how sam is a meanie meanerton who, idk, waterboards dean in his spare time or whatever they're complaining about this week (I've unfollowed as many as I can of both camps), so for the most part both groups can be completely flushed down into the sewers of 'jesus christ, do you guys ever actually watch the show rather than circlejerk the same four arguments about it? ...no? oh. well, at least you're honest.'

So, with that said.

Yeah, obviously Dean lacks autonomy. But there's a difference between autonomy and agency, and I'm not going to pretend to have a super solid grasp on either (since a lot of philosophical debate [especially by fangirls] makes me want to jump into the aforementioned sewer just not to hear it anymore), but I can at least kind of make a stab, since you asked.

At least in the way I understand it (do you see all the caveats), bodily autonomy is literally getting to decide what happens to your body, including where it goes and who's inside it and what's done with it, and agency is general decision-making of like the brain sort -- what decisions will I make, who will I be, and so on. Both Sam and Dean are assailed on both fronts alllllll the time. Fandom folks tend to exaggerate those assaults on their preferred brother (because, for some reason, egregious victimhood is the only way you get to be a cool character?? what is that about.), but as with a lot of things in CW's Supernatural, the actual facts are a lot more balanced than fandom weirdos will admit.

Sure, Sam's got a bunch of autonomy assaults. Torture, possession, etc. Most of the time, though, I see his agency as pretty intact. He may not necessarily want to do some of the things he does (childhood hunting comes in here), but he chooses to do them. Is he manipulated sometimes? Sure. Lied to? Obv. But there's an essential steel pillar at the center of Sam and whether they're good choices or whether they're bad choices, he is the one who makes them, and he lives with those consequences. This is part of why the s9 thing with Gadreel is troubling: yeah, it's about bodily autonomy on one (more boring) level, but the much bigger problem is that Dean overrode his agency -- part of why I tend to believe that Sam's biggest objection is that Dean lied and then couldn't apologize for it, when Sam's agency is the most precious thing he owns. Now, he's a smart guy, and there are times his agency does take a blow because of some canon circumstance -- he doesn't want to do X but the world will end if Y, so X it is -- but for the most part Sam's solid and he can live with what he has to do. Though he won't pointlessly die of blue balls about it. What a silly stand on agency that would be.

Dean, meanwhile, doesn't actually have his bodily autonomy violated too much. By which I mean: of course, Dean-as-object is one of my favorite tags, of COURSE he's used as a meatsack and a weapon and a fuckdoll and all those lovely things. But he's very rarely literally possessed; he's holding the blade or the gun or what-have-you. That said, his agency is in the fuckin' gutter, haha, and that's more often what I mean by Dean-as-object. From childhood he's fully expecting to be told what to do, to be used as a pawn, to be used in other ways, to take on someone else's responsibility and make it his own and subsume his actual desires and wants for the good of... whoever. Usually John, but not always. This is something Sam doesn't really... do, that often. Sam might hate that he's making a choice but he does seem to understand that he is the one making it, whereas on Dean's part it so often feels like the choice is automatic -- of course he'll do what John says, of course he'll sell his soul, of course he'll... kiss some lady so the Qareen chases him instead. Now, are all those things tied to autonomy, too? Of course. But with Dean I feel like it's a bigger issue that his agency has been taken out at the knees ever since he was ~5 years old -- the autonomy problem is very much secondary.

Agency and autonomy are tied together and assaults on both happen relatively equally to both characters. What matters more is their attitudes about it, and their natures (whether they're essential or if they've been nurtured into acting a particular way). And, of course, there are different times in canon where these tendencies shift or even flip, e.g. in late s8 where Sam's certainty wobbles, or in s10 where Dean's autonomy w/r/t the Mark of Cain is really dicey.

Violated vs violable, victimized vs victim. A ton of it is in the eye of the beholder and OBVIOUSLY fandom will just sail off in its own directions any ol' way, depending on what shipping mood someone is in, how much projection is going on, what the phase of the moon is, etc. But generally speaking I find that Sam has a lot of agency in his life but often his autonomy is imperilled; Dean has a lot of autonomy but his agency is practically nil. At least for a while. What's nice is that Sam does have agency and he uses that agency to choose his own path in life, decide what he wants, and what he wants is -- a life with Dean. Dean maybe never really had a choice in the matter, but so what? He can stay in his bunker, and fight the monsters he needs to fight, and -- lucky for him, there's a strong hand covering his left side. What more could a cat ask for.

[cannibalbuffe]

hi! I've honestly been craving some qpr headcanons with Alastor as someone who's also aroace! The concept piques my curiosity so much considering most of the stuff with him is purely romantic (no offense to those writers, I just wanna see more qpr stuff! :])

Of course! But do forgive me, annon, I got so carried away with this 😅. I just really like Alastor a lot.

I ended up writing some backstory to your relationship first, but I highlighted the start of the proper qpr headcanons if you feel like skipping that.

Obligatory I'm sorry if this is ooc, I'm still getting used to writing about these characters. This is also all based on my own perception of him.

(Also, I am aware that qprs are very different from one another and there is no single mold for a qpr, I'm just going off of what I think it would be like with Alastor.)

Uhh, I also finished this at 1 AM, so forgive any mistakes. And I'm pretty sure I changed the verb conjugations(? Is this how you say that in English?) from present to past at some point. Sorry. Enough with the A/Ns now. Hope you enjoy!

Alastor queerplatonic relationship headcanons

(gender neutral reader, Alastor x reader)

‼️Trigger-warning‼️: mentions of cannibalism (not graphic), a single mention of tongue-kissing and making out (spoiler: he doesn't want either of those things in this work.) Usage of the word queer, but not as a slur. Alastor is a grandpa and you have to explain LGBTQ+ stuff to him, but he gets it.

› At first, before you were close, it's likely that he didn't see you as an equal.

› Truly, in his eyes, it seems not really is his equal. He is the most powerful overlord in hell and he knows it.

› Unless you are someone he holds in high regard (and this is mostly based on vibes, barely anything to do with power, as we can see by how he is with Lucifer of all people) before your first meeting, like Zestial, you won't be on equal footing at first.

› You only really start getting close when his perception of you shifts.

› You respect his boundaries, you are interesting, you and him share quite a few interests (or not really, but you're at least interested in hearing about his), and you're, surprisingly, pretty wise and mature.

› And caring. I personally believe he would be drawn to that in a way that he may not even understand fully- or realize it at all.

› Still, the point is. He respects you, and you respect him.

› (And not in the way some others do, where they're only "respectful" out of fear. You would act like this regardless of his power.)

› This, by the way, is important. You don't treat him like a superior, but as an equal.

› You'd think someone like him would love to be treated like a superior, and it's true. He very much does.

› But he has to admit to himself that it does feel nice whenever someone isn't shaking in their boots and can hold really good conversations with him while still not being pushy, annoying or just generally disrespectful.

› Anyways.

› Ever since you became friends (which took long), one could say, you just kept becoming closer and closer.

› You were the first one to be vulnerable with him, of course. It happened on accident, but you trusted him enough for that.

› You were also the first one to share any more intimate information with him. Something you wouldn't tell just anyone.

› Between this, your conversations, and maybe even helping each other around (honestly, he probably helps you more than you do him, but you always offer it and always in a sweet way, never condescending, and he appreciates that.)

› He eventually felt more comfortable sharing personal things with you too.

› (He may have distanced himself a bit when he realized this, but it was short-lived. You can't be without each other for so long, and you were pretty upset at his suddenly withdrawal. You may not have mentioned it to him, but he could tell, and as much as he hated to admit it, it hurt him to see you sad because of him.)

› This marks the beginning of the path toward your queerplatonic relationship.

› I mean, you didn't initially label it as such, but it definitely started there.

› Surprisingly, I feel like the first one to ever do any sort of affectionate gesture towards the other was him.

› You knew he didn't like to be touched, so you didn't.

› But! He just started getting more and more comfortable with touching you. At first it was hands on your shoulders, or putting his arm over them.

› I can even see a head pat or two, which he probably passed off as some sort of joke the first few times, but, if you liked them so much, just became a thing he does to you.

› And then one day you, completely absent-mindedly, intertwined your arm with his while walking around.

› When you noticed you had done it and he hadn't said anything, you questioned him about it.

› "Alastor, I'm sorry I didn't ask... is this alright?"

› "This?... Oh, you mean the arms? Ah, dear, don't worry, if it weren't I would have simply told you so!"

› From them on you only got more and more physically affectionate with each other. At first you would usually be the one to start it, but eventually you were both shockingly equal in doing so.

› (You still would always ask if you could touch him beforehand, but after a while he just gave you a free-pass.)

› Not a lot in public, though. Mostly just hand holding, or intertwining arms (if in public, that is.)

› Alastor also was so protective of you. You were the person he treasured most, after all.

› Well, demon.

› Even if you told him you were going to be okay, he would watch out nonetheless. He couldn't afford to lose you, not when he's never trusted and cared for a person this much.

› You two also cuddle a lot. You were the first one to ask, as usual, but now both of you feel weird sleeping alone.

› Alastor loves being the big spoon, if you're doing that.

› But he is also quite fond of occasionally being the little spoon, although he wouldn't be caught dead admitting it.

› A hobby you two do together is cooking. Cooking with Alastor is fun... especially if you're okay with cannibalism.

› But if you don't like that, he won't insist, of course.

› He's pretty good at cooking, though! If you're also good at it, then great. If not, he'll tease you about it (in a friendly way), but still teach you.

› On teasing, he teases you quite a bit, but never in a mean way. If you don't mind, of course.

› You also may tease him occasionally, but he doesn't appreciate you teasing him in public.

› The two of you also have a good amount of inside jokes that probably confuse the hell out of the others.

› Kissing... well. I don't really see Alastor as the type who would enjoy kissing on the lips too much.

› Tongue is out of question for him, as well as any sort of making out, but otherwise... if you like it, he can do that for you.

› He might actually like a peck or two. An acquired taste for him. Don't overdo it, though.

› Of course, him being from the 1930s and not very familiar with anything LGBTQ+ related, he would, at first, be somewhat confused by the request.

› You would probably have to explain to him that nothing is inherently romantic, especially not if you don't want it to be.

› "A kiss on the lips? Well... we aren't courting, Y/n."

› "We can put our own meanings to things, though. Would you like this kiss to be romantic?"

› "Definitely not!"

› "Well, me neither. So it's not!"

› "... That is very sound logic! I can't believe I've never thought of this myself."

› Kisses on the rest of the face are something else, though. He does enjoy it whenever you kiss him on the cheek. He himself might occasionally kiss you on the forehead.

› But overall I don't think he's big on kissing.

› If you want to really solidify that you're in a queerplatonic relationship you'd also have to explain what that means to him, sorry.

› Again, he's old and not up to date with things.

› Thankfully he understands things easily.

› "I see... I suppose we do have quite the queer relationship, don't we? And it is certainly platonic. I don't see why not!"

› Going back to vulnerability. It will never feel fully natural for him to just be vulnerable with you — or anyone else, for the matter.

› (In case you couldn't tell, he's using the word queer as meaning odd (and doing a little pun. You know. Because it's a. Queerplatonic relationship. Queer. Hehehehe), as it defies the norm of what a platonic relationship usually looks like, despite being one.)

› But you know him well enough at this point to recognize whenever there's something going on with him.

› And if you show concern and give him enough time he will share whatever it is with you.

› If it's not anything too big he might even reach out to you first.

› He can also read you like a book and gives surprisingly good advice, and is also pretty good at comforting you.

› You are the only person allowed at his studio while he's live on the radio. You usually read as he speaks in the background, his voice is very relaxing. He enjoys having you around.

› He's also particularly gentlemanly to you, more than to the others. When you're with him you never have to open a single door yourself, for one. If it's raining, he'll hold the umbrella for the two of you. When walking together on the sidewalk, he's always on the side closest to the street instead of you.

› You two often go out for dinner. If you also fancy some cannibalism, he will definitely show you his favorite restaurants around. If not he will just pick the best non-cannibal places (but you know those are not his favorites, haha.)

› He just cares about you a lot, even if it took him long to admit (it may have seemed fast-paced during this, but Alastor is someone who really takes long to get close to.)

› And you care about him lot too!

› (And you're probably never going to be in a life-threatening situation again, at least not at the hands of most demons. Who would ever want trouble with Alastor?)

[livesworthlivingau]

Lives Worth Living Chapter 14

ISAT Spoilers below the break!

"It seems I must have finally taught you how to properly steep tea over those decades." (Odile comments with a smirk, watching you carefully pour from the kettle into each of your teacups.)

"It only took me 5 of those years to make a decent cup~."

"... The fact I can't tell if that's a joke or not is more concerning than anything else..." (You let out a heavy chuckle at her somewhat worried look. You stick your tongue out a give an exaggerated wink.)

"And it still doesn't count as a wink if you only have one eye Siffrin..."

"You've been telling me that for 30 years Odile, it never sticks~." (She just rolls her eyes as she adds a bit of honey and milk to her tea.)

"Speaking of… How are you doing Siffrin, truly?"

"… I think you already know the answer to that question, Madame" (You tease with the lightest chuckle, though it's bittersweet.)

"I suppose I do, though it would still be nice to hear you say it properly." (You pause for a second, before letting out a sigh.)

"… I don't really know anymore… I guess I'm better than I was the first time around at this point, the first few weeks were really rough for me… It's nice to make some better memories to replace it… But those bad times were still important too…" (You start to explain, your hand wrapping around your covered forearm, as if for emphasis.)

"Those moments helped get you to where you are now… It may have been a painful journey but it was just as important as the destination." (Odile finishes the thought for you, her arms crossed as she gets lost in her own thoughts.)

"… Yeah… I know you don't want me to apologize again for what I said on that last day… So I'll just say thanks Odile, for trusting me with your oh so sacred backstory~." (You laugh. Your eye starts to blur from the tears welling up in it before you wipe them away. Odile just smirks a bit at your comment before rolling her eyes.)

"Yes yes, that and my fake research. I'm simply too generous for my own good." (She remarks sarcastically.)

"Now let's discuss something else, I'm tired of all these emotions."

"Heh, I couldn't agree more."

----------------------------------------------------------

"Hey, Odile?" (You ask over your shoulder, fiddling with some thingamajig you found on the shelf. The both of you going on one of your famous 'secret missions' at a little random shop in the town you were passing through.)

"Yes, Siffrin?" (She responded over her shoulder as well, glancing through the various books they had for sale.)

"... There's... I can't stop thinking about something... from, uhh... before." (You begin, trying to dance around the topic without explicitly stating it. She pauses, perking up and waiting, as if telling you to continue.)

"... We all kinda went separate ways eventually, we were still a family of course but... we all had someone else at least... everyone but you Odile..."

"... What is it you're trying to say?"

"I-I'm saying... I don't know if you were happy... It felt like all that you cared about was work, when none of us were left around... You never got a partner, you never talked about friends you made, you..."

"Why are you bringing this up now, Siffrin?"

"... Probably because I never got the chance to before, and I didn't want to let that happen again..."

"I'm not sure how much use there is in talking about something that happens decades from now. What are you proposing anyways?"

"I... I don't know, just... I want you to be happy, I don't want you to be alone..."

"So, what do you intend then? Should I move in with you and Isabeau and stay on the couch forever?" (She asks with a smirk. Your lip curls a bit in response, but quickly falls again.)

"I mean it, Odile..." (She pauses at that, sighing out as she realizes how serious you were.)

"... Very well, Siffrin, I promise I'll keep this in mind... We've got a long road ahead of us until that but maybe things will be different this time around. That's what you're hoping for, yes?"

"In some ways I guess... I mean, these loops have to be for something, right?..."

"Maybe we should be focusing on that right now instead."

"Yeah... I guess you're right." (She suddenly walks over and lifts your hat off, ruffling your hair heavily.)

"You might have some years on me now, but you still overthink just the same." (The both of you laugh the seriousness of the conversation off, finishing up your little trip.)

[obsessedwrhys]

UNFORGETTABLE

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ Frank Woods takes you on a date at Burger Town (fluff, cursing, just reader and woods being a lovey dovey couple, reader is fem and also bell in this story, backstory will be explained using the plots of the campaign and seasons, reader experiences side effects from brainwashing, adler never shot bell in this fic!!)

ᯓ★

From being one of Perseus's trusted spies to working for the CIA, throughout your entire life you weren't sure who you really were.

However, it didn't take long for the truth of your past to slowly uncover itself when you and several others were tasked with taking down Stitch. From there that's when you learned your true identity.

Even then, you never felt like that person was you anymore, so you went on the rest of your life with a new name. Your own identity.

Despite the horrors in those events, some good managed to come out of it. You were able to score yourself a loving boyfriend.

Sure, he hates the soviets but you were a different story. Everybody deserves second chances right?

That's why during your mission at the USSR where you two were paired to infiltrate a russian base, he was absolutely baffled when you weren't familiar with the mascot of a famous restaurant he loved.

"Shit, it's Bubby! I fucking love Bubby!"

"Who's Bubby?"

"What?! You don't know who this is??"

"Uhh..."

And that was way before you guys started dating. After everything has settled down and that you two were blessed with free time, he decided it was only right to let you live your new life with a fresh start. That fresh start happen to be through the doors of the Burger Town entrance.

"I can't believe you managed to convince me to do this" You laughed as your boyfriend practically drags you into the place.

"You talk like I'm forcing you to join a cult" He said before letting you stand in front of him to queue up.

"Judging by how much you praise this restaurant, it might as well be" You joked which had him laugh.

"Oh yeah? And would you join if I asked you to?"

"Nope but I might turn you in for some cash" You responded which made him playfully grab you around the waist in an attempt to tickle you.

The second the customer at the front left, the two of you quickly stopped playing around and tried to act normal as it was your turn to order. You looked through the menu. So many interesting selection...

"Double Chili Time Bomb...?" You smirked at Woods who's standing over you. The two of you exchanging knowing glances at a shared memory.

"How about we leave that story in the past" He said almost like he's pleading you to forget it and you found it amusing.

"Because you mistaken a kid's backpack for a bomb and had everyone including me panic for no reason?"

"I didn't rest that well the night before okay. Now what are you gonna order?" He said and you looked back at the menu, going through each meal and being indecisive on which to choose.

There's so many...

But which one is ACTUALLY good?

Hm....

"Did you fall asleep?"

"Shhh" You waved at him dismissively to try to shut him up, but he ended up grabbing your wrist to place soft kisses on your knuckles.

"How about you go find us a seat and I'll order what you want" He said and you looked at him.

"You know I don't like—"

"I know"

"And I hate eating—"

"I also know that honey" He leaned in to place another kiss on your forehead.

"I did promise you a good meal so don't worry 'bout it" He spoke and you gave him a smile of gratitude. Feeling reassured, you eventually left to find an empty table to sit.

You're no expert but you're pretty sure you found a good spot. It's by the window and you guys get a good view of the streets. After a few minutes of waiting, you looked up to find Woods carrying a tray of the food he picked out. You could only watch in awe as he settle it down on the table before taking the seat in front of you.

"You ordered so much" You said.

"They're not all for me if that's your concern" He handed you your burger and you chuckle at his answer.

You remove half of the wrapper around your burger and just from the looks of it, it looked delicious, not to mention juicy. You then looked over at Woods who seem to be waiting for you to take your first bite. You couldn't help but struggle to contain a smile when you wondered how long he was staring at you.

"You look like Mary when she's waiting for us to feed her" You said, referring to your dog. An Australian Shepherd you two rescued from a shelter.

"Is that your way of calling me cute?" He asked with a cheeky smile. His confidence having you laugh.

"Shut up" You simply said but the smile on your face betrayed your words.

Not being able to wait any longer, you took a cautious bite of the burger. You kept chewing on the food but ended up pausing when you realised it was actually good. So he wasn't kidding. You thought and continued chewing but this time faster. Your act easily made Woods eyes light up in satisfaction.

"It's good isn't it?" He asks as he finally eats from his own burger.

"Its sow yummey" You said with a mouthful and he couldn't help but laugh at how adorable he found you in this state.

"Careful, I don't want you to choke" He grabbed a napkin and gently wipe the sauce off your cheek.

Taking his advice and also not wanting a heartburn. You took your time enjoying your burger and swallowing when you wanted to say something. At the same time, he was also enjoying his meal, he was leaned back and relaxed in his own seat.

"What did you get for yourself?" You asked before drinking from your straw. Your question made him look at you.

"Burger Town Classic Burger. You can't go wrong with the original"

"Can I try??"

"Only if I get a bite of yours"

"Deal"

Exchanging your burgers, you quickly took a bite of his and you couldn't help but melt at the taste. The sauce makes it so much better! Seeing you taking another bite, Woods couldn't help but chuckle.

"I'm getting the hint I'm not having my burger back" He said but you simply kept on eating, grabbing some fries while you're at it.

"Why didn't you take me here sooner?" You asked as he drinks from his shake.

"I would have if we weren't getting sent around on missions so much"

"Oh yeah...."

Right as you were about to take another bite, you felt a sharp pain from the front of your head. You wince as you grabbed at your forehead. This catching Wood's attention immediately.

"Shit... you okay?" Woods quickly stood up and was ready to rush to your side but you gestured him to stop.

"I'm good. Just an ache..." You rubbed your temples in an attempt to sooth the pain and it was slowly working.

Once he was sure you won't faint or fall over, he sat back down on his seat with his eyes still watching you cautiously.

"Is the medicine not working?"

"It is, Park just says it takes time since they dosed me with a lot of drugs, but the wait will be worth it..." You hold his hand from across the table to try to comfort him. His hands not hesitating to squeeze back.

It remained quiet for a while until he let's out a sigh. His tone indicating he was upset.

"... I'm sorry—"

"No... don't even start. You didn't know I was being experimented with. You don't owe me an apology"

"Okay..." He muttered but he couldn't bring himself to look at you. It was clear he still felt some sort of guilt from what happened.

Just then, you grinned when you remembered something.

"I never got to say, I still can't believe you beat up Adler when you found out. Mason told me you also punched Hudson when he tried to hold you back" You said, trying to change the mood of the conversation which worked because you could see the corner of his lips twitched slightly upwards.

"Yeah well if they hadn't stopped me I would have killed that son of a bitch" Woods said as he hesitated for a while before finally locking eye contact with you.

"Do you have any idea what you do to me? Fuck... the things I'd do for you..." He chuckles a bit, almost like he's in complete disbelief to the fact he finds it humorous.

You could only beam warmly at his words, feeling loved by the reminder of the memories you two shared.

"... thank you for always taking care of me" You said and it was enough to have him all flustered. He shakes his head slightly with an embarrassed smile.

"Don't thank me for something I'd do for you" He said. Then he reached out to tuck your hair behind your ear before resting his hand on your face to caress your cheek.

"Now come on, let's eat before the food gets cold" He said, reminding you of your burger that has been left unattended on your plate for so long.

"Ugh, I hate cold food"

"I know"

[frogpols]

You talked about many AUs, but i would like to know if you have a main idea you think about how kiraboss met for the first time, is kinda hard for me to think about it without putting a lot of casuality on it

Also this is bassist kira and drummer boss!

LEL That is a brilliant gif, litcherally them, thankies for sharing this peak.

And that is a brilliant thingie to talk about. I may go on about AUs just because there are many ways (whether fairly believable and canon-compliant, or just silly and casual) that Kira and Diavolo could meet, and a bunch of various ideas in the way they'd actually interact in said meeting (or beyond). But of course, that's a given for ships involving characters that are never shown to have met. I do find that huge amount of room for creativity very intriguing.

Anyway, if I were to put something at the top of what seems believable (ie, what'd seem like a natural extension to the source material, less random), it'd be post-canon Kiraboss. In their latest depictions (I'm fairly confident DMQ is canon), they're both shown to be in a very peculiar purgatory state that no other named character from what I recall is fated to, let alone among the main antagonists (they just float to the sky (die), be entirely erased, or literally stay alive on the same existential plane forever). Given that unique inherent connection between those two major characters specifically, I thus think it wouldn't be super random/casual(?) for them to... well, be connected or perhaps form some deep kinship in a hypothetical JoJo spinoff. There'd be purpose in a story like that since there'd be the opportunity to expand upon the ghost/afterlife logic in the overall JoJoverse. (Not to mention kira and boss redemption if we may sympathize with them...)

Now, if we were to go earlier so that we can have the original Kira and Diavolo as Kiraboss, they can very well meet pre-canon, maybe even be close, and their correspondence (casual or deep) wouldn't have to interrupt their main stories. But while I don't believe anything is stopping Diavolo from going to Morioh through Doppio (since I'd reckon they can travel pretty easy with mafia swag and moola), I don't know what reason he could have to do so. A super flimsy stretch I could make is Tonio Trussardi/Antonio Volpe since he is adjacent to Passione's Massimo from PHF, but obviously PHF is not very canon and you'd still have a lot of stuff to fill out to justify Diavolo's connection to Morioh, all to potentially encounter Kira. In other words, pre-canon Kiraboss may be more random than post-canon Kiraboss, at least story-wise and not just for their given (huge) list of similarities. Buuuut at least it is possible. It's a whole other thing on whether or not they'd get along. Since they have to be alive for their story to happen, they'd have to not kill each other in the pre-canon meeting instance. This is where an old fanfiction idea I had a long while back comes in...

Uhhh, I guess briefly(?) going over that (since I reckon it's as close to what my 'main idea' for what feasible kiraboss looks like), the fic was going to be called "Yoshikage Kira and Diavolo's Bizarre Backstory" and combine both of the above ideas in this post: pre-canon and post-canon Kiraboss (with focus on pre-canon). The idea for the fic would be that they both meet, develop feelings (super slow burn style), and heavily influence each other to act the way they do in canon (so that there would be a convenient difference in their behaviors between when they initially met each other vs. when they'd meet another stand user in the future separately). Basic plot was: They meet in Morioh (Kira likes Doppio/Diavolo's hands) -> Stand battle (whole thing with Diavolo initially struggling with Kira's stupid SHA, but he learns quickly) -> They form hesitant truce (Diavolo thinks Kira could be very useful, and Kira surrenders) -> They are very stubborn (Kira doesn't want to join mob, and uhh somehow Diavolo's convinced he needs him LUL) -> Insert very ambiguous kind of tsundere/tsundere relationship here, perhaps they have sex (they wouldn't be very good at it) -> Diavolo goes back to Italy and Kira never snitches -> Ensue canon and they die -> They meet again not remembering each other at all and post-canon kiraboss begins. I know I have the ability to sit down and write a proper fanfic ....but I don't feel like it as of now, just as I am with projects. :d Hell, I started that Kosaku-Doppio swap fanfiction (idea I put some time ago on this blog), and plots completely written out, but only at barely two chaps, 4.7k words. Oh yeah, I believe that old animatic I just posted on this blog too was meant to reference the fanfic concept where Kira's just yearning after Diavolo's left.

Sooo yeaah, hehe

[annemissingshoe]

WTTMV Keeper!Poppy, Stitcher!Julie, and others (one non-WTTMV character)Theories part five

hahahaha

Just went over the lore in Ariki’s Card, realized some things after reading the new lore drop post and now I have a better understanding of some of the things that occurred in the lore.

Might have learned something new about Messanger and Stitcher today:3

Read this post above, it explains something important about Stitcher and has certain details that weren��t mentioned here.

Sooooooo I was wrong about Stitcher destroying his world after he left.

Solver!Frank was from the same au as Stitcher!Julie, his absence caused his au to collapse as he wasn’t supposed to be gone. Because their au was a Fixed au, it wouldn’t allow such changes to occur without it collapsing on itself.

Quick retelling of the new post I read.

They were attacked by hands and everyone but Julie was ripped apart. Stitcher was quick and managed to remain relatively unharmed, only her leg was torn.

He looked around and realize two thing

They were just puppets, they were made out of fabric and stuffing not flesh.

and that

Wally was still alive. She could save him and maybe she could save the others too. She ran to Poppy’s house for a sewing kit and then back to Home. Where she started to fix Wally, she ended up taking some fabric from Barnaby to fix with Wally with as she didn’t have enough.

it worked!

it worked? There was uhh something not quite about Wally

Stitcher continued on with her work, she did her best to fix up her remaining neighbours, when she was working on Poppy.

The hands started again. Chaos spreading across the au, The au was about collapse around them.

Her neighbours go up and hugged her for one last time, Poppy threw her through one of the cracks of void, Julie saw them looking at her as she was ejected.

When she was trying to leave through the creak, it closed on her leg, cutting it clean off. She passed out after this and was later found by Peacekeeper.

Sooo maybe this has to do with the fact that Stitcher and Solver are from the same au, that two characters being from the same causes them to have a similar aura.

once again make sure to read the post above, didn’t go over everything Some things being clear up in The post below by Ariki.

He was taken in by Peacekeeper, she was recovering there.

she would later meet some others multiversers during her stay there, at some point she saw/heard Observer talking Peacekeeper, had made the choice followed him in hopes of finding out what happened to her au, to see if there was a way to get it back.

She ended up in a void filled with TVs and tapes, after floating around for a bit. He found something, she found it.

It felt like it was calling to them, like it was hers. (It was her au judging by what happened there, she just knew it was her au)

What she found was an almost completely destroyed tape, It was her au.

She panicked In realization that Observer was going in the direction she was in, she made the choice to Flee the area as she was worried about Observer finding her there and that he would take the tape away from her.

Somehow she managed to get back to Keeper’s world, and quickly hid the tape in her leg. A moment later she was found by Peacekeeper, she could tell something was wrong but didn’t know what it was. Keeper tried to ask Julie what happened but she wouldn’t tell her what she had did.

Julie’s thoughts were clouded by fear, She felt like she would get destroyed along with the tape if Observer got close to her. Julie’s mind was racing with many worse case scenarios which only served to add to her stressed mental state.

Julie tried to crawl away from Keeper but Keeper’s ribbons gently wrapped around Julie's limbs, preventing her from moving further. She moved close to wrap her wings around Julie In attempt to comfort Julie. But being held back reminded her of the shadows hands that torn her friends apart.

This is when Stitcher arm was ripped off, she was leaving Peacekeeper world.

Stitcher was the one who did it.

They did it so she would be able to get out of there before Observer would find her. Because In that moment she feel trapped and like she was in danger, so she needed to get away from there fast.

Stitcher’s first impressions of Observer were not great, there was an unfortunate misunderstanding going on. Stitcher today wouldn’t believe the truth. As she wouldn’t trust anything Observer says, wouldn’t believe that it was something that caused it. She is Dead-set on believing Observer did it.

(Was he the one who destroyed it ?)

This was the First time Stitcher had thought Observers fault her au was gone, she had found her tape and it was damaged. She didn’t know why it was like that, the idea that Observer might have done it pop up, doesn’t help that Observer already has a bad reputation among other multiversers. One that makes this more believable (although she didn’t know that yet but she will learn at some point ).

She was fearing for life :(

Stitcher would met Seamster some point after this event.

also the eye from Stitcher’s dress being her Poppy’s eye.

This one shows various different events.

What happened to Archivist’s original body

Fliante leaving Keeper’s world

Something bad happened with Wayfinder and Courier, Courier got hurt somehow.

Something going on with Messenger

Admin carrying someone, maybe during a certain event that happened because of a certain person, who knows

two different events with two versions of Nyxie

Observer fixing his arm

Keeper looking at a tv while she crying

Stitcher making the choice to rip her own arm off to escape

I do think that the tags are talking about what happened to Solver!Frank.

Cause Solver went missing and that caused his au to go off-script.

@arikihalloween

Part 4

[the-lost-child-of-death]

Me and the Angle of death

Tw: uhh? Child abuse? Idk

Tags: @paintedgrilledcheese @myluckymoon

I shall always remember those past days of my childhood, those days where something...

I dont really remember My childhood that much but i remember that i had parents that were kind and loving, I grew up in a small town near a huge forest where I always used to play in! It was very fun!

I used to play there from when the sun came up until the soon went down, I've always had a thing for forests I guess. I made many memories there!

But one memory shall always stand out for me. I remember it was a beautiful spring day I was playing in the grass as a normal seven year old would.

Until a man approached me.The man asked me kindly "Hi there little one I was wondering if you have seen a dove fly by?" His voice was calm and gentle he was dressed in a long white gown and his yellow eyes that shined bright...

He didn't look human at a all but I still answered him."Uh no sir I haven't seen a dove fly by..." "Ah, what a shame" he said and smiled gently, but then he asked "Whats your name? How old are you?"

"Huh?.. well im Malkim im seven!" "Seven? You're a baby why are you here All alone!? Where are you're parents?" "My parents?.. well they are at work" "Oh dear. Well we should get you home Come on. Why don't I follow you home?" "Oh uhm..sure?.."

Then that mysterious man ended up following me home dropping me off, but after I meet him there would always be two white Doves that would just sing all day plus they would follow my parents around everywhere they went...I never knew why.

But then...

one day, when I came home from playing in the forest I saw my house, it was in flames. The house I grew up in was set in flames...

But there was something off, the two doves that always used to be there...were dead..? They burned in the fire just like my parents did...

"Oh dear what happened here..?"A familiar voice said it was the same young man I meet some days ago..."I dont know...i just came home and and!-" i said my voice was trembling, for the first time in years I was crying..it hurt

"Ah, that's terrible my child. Please don't cry. Why don't you come home with me? I'll take good care of you"

...

That day the strange man named "Dove" took me in as his own... And after that everything became a nightmare."Dove" promised to take care of me but he didn't...

He ended up experiencing on me I still dont why but It hurt. It hurt bad I felt like I was being burnt Alive... i didnt even feel human anymore. He's evil and he knows it. He's a terrible person I hate him more then anything.

After four years of pure torture i ended up finding a way to escape that terrible "Dove". I finally felt free it was felt amazing i loved it...

And I ended up meeting the love of my life...

His name is Harper he's a beautiful boy and I love him so much! I wanna spend the rest of my life with him.

I love him.

Miyano: oh Malkim? He's kinda like my child I guess. I take care of him sometimes

Yuki: that little troublemaker? Hah hes a unique kiddo.

Cleto: oh Malkim..? Well i would say he's a sweet guy

Tsuki: my dear Malkim? Well he helps out a lot in my shop. And he helps Elvio when Elvio is having his once a week mental breakdown~

Dove: I promise you. When I find him I'll make sure he meets his parents.

Notes: I should really stop writing backstories late at night even tho i have school Tommrow... oh well as always my arm hurt and neck but oh well.

My opinion about Malkim is that i think he's becoming a fav oc now. But Dove is still over him ig. I was actually gonna put human trafficking in this but nah. Doesn't mean that Dove has done that tho.

Damm I love Harper and Malkim. I hope nothing bad happens to them... >:3

[missuswalker]

DUDE I requested the volleyball reader one and oh my god I’m so fed it’s so good got me kicking my feet giggling cackling sweating bro (thank u cat emoji anon for requesting a part 2 ily) idk how u have such good brain thoughts to write allat

Would u be opposed to a fic of mysterion x f!reader who’s kinda like spiderman 🤔🤔🤔 omg what if it was similar to miraculous ladybug where they’re friends irl and Kenny’s all flirty then but when they’re in their superhero roles it flips n the reader is the flirty one instead?? And maybe they fight against Leslie or something sending a robot army man idk u can literally write whatever and I’ll eat it up fr fr THANK UUUUU

MEOWWW MEOW MEOW NEVER OPPOSED TO MYSTERION (and ikr, cat emoji anon is so scrumptious 😻) (i love frequent anons, they're like my best pookies) (also i love all of your ideas 🤭🤭)

don't know her // mysterion x fem reader

�� summary: being the walmart spidergirl of south park has it's perks, especially when you get to hang around mysterion all night (pt two here) ✮ warnings: mentions of blood, kind of short (read a/n)

"Hey, I'll call you back later, sweetheart, I've got some shit to do," Kenny interrupts, giving me a 'bye'. I knew exactly what that shit was too. I've known Kenny for years and I had kind of caught on to the fact that he was Mysterion.

I take this as my opportunity to slip into my suit, pulling my mask over my head as I slide my window open, climbing onto my roof. This was just about my nightly routine at this point. Talking with Kenny on the phone until midnight, then meeting up with him as Seven.

The backstory of the name name originally came from Kenny himself. Well, came from Mysterion. Kenny had no idea that I was Seven. Basically, Mysterion asked for my superhero name, though I didn't exactly have one. After telling him that, he named me after the building we were behind which happened to be a 7-Eleven, and it kind of just stuck.

Walking down the alley Mysterion and I usually met in, I see that he's already there. "Seven, you've gotta stop coming out here, I've told you too many times that it's way too dangerous for a rookie to be out at night."

I put my hands on my hips, looking around. "You say that and then still wait for me at the same spot every night. You'd miss me too much if I stopped showing up," I tease. "Don't flatter yourself. I come here because I know you'll show up and get yourself into trouble. Don't start thinking I have a crush on you or something."

"Then who do you have a crush on? Must be a real treat, huh?" I snort, taking a seat on an empty crate. "I don't see how that's any of your business. It's just a girl from my school anyways, you don't know her," he sighs, kicking at the dirt. "I'm just curious," I defend, throwing my hands up in mock surrender.

I felt a little upset, though, that the girl has a good chance of not being me. "If I tell you about her, will you stop coming out here at night so I don't have to babysit you anymore?" I think for a moment, trying to figure out if I even really wanted to know.

"Sure," I answer, deciding I might as well. He sighs, obviously not thinking I was actually going to agree to it. "Okay, well, uhh... her name is Y/n. I've been friends with her for a really long time, and she's hot. That good enough for you?"

Well, damn.

"Nah, I'm still gonna come out here." Mysterion groans, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Well, nothing is happening tonight, just go home." I shrug, beginning to walk away. "Fine. I'll see you tomorrow."

"No you won't. You're gonna stay home."

"Keep telling yourself that."

a/n: GUYS IT'S SHORT BECAUSE THERE'S GOING TO BE A PART 2 🤯🤯

you have to remind me, though, bc i'll forget 😻

next one will have the fight scene and seven's mask gets pulled off + romance idk

not proofread (ill do it later i swear)

[mimicsapprentice]

Creation's Lore / backstory ~!! (Copy pasted from discord messages so please excuse the cadence + formatting)(+ lack of proofreading)(+ my tentative grasp on Ink lore)

It's tragic on multiple axis actually.... I ended up decided that the entire MV he originates from is actually now Gone. For good. At first it was just Abandoned by its creator but then later was Discontinued, meaning the whole thing actually got erased from existence. He is one of if not the only survivor of this MV...

Now. Creation is a Fresh!Ink variant. But a little to the left in some ways. Rather than just being a Fresh possessing an Ink he's more of a uhh fusion between the 2 of them? You could say. He kind of fully joined with Ink, resulting in a being that was simultaneously both of them together but also it's own unique independent entity. Which is Creation.

The Fresh & Ink he's made from actually had a Thing™️ going on. No labels for what it was, they were just both highly important to the other. They would say that they were together but in what way was a mystery to everyone (including them). 

They initially bonded over the fact both of them were aware of Creators and also kind of very scared of them? Of doing the wrong thing and getting cast aside / replaced / abandoned.... Lots of uh existential crises between the 2 of them. Who they felt only the other would understand in a way? Why they would do what they did, the reasons behind their actions and thought processes? Even if they reacted differently to the pressures.

Now. The catalyst behind Creation coming into existence was actually the MV getting abandoned. Without Creator/s there to help? Ink. Well. He dies; worse than dies really.... Adhering to canon, the source of Ink's vials are the Creators. If they don't provide then Ink goes uhhh catatonic? I think it is? Fully just, not there. Body shut down but not dead, unable to move or to feel or anything.... just stuck living but not really alive...

So with the MV abandoned? Well. There was no longer any source of paint for Ink. He knew it when it happened, since he stopped hearing the Creator/s talk to him. He hoped it was just temporary but even still began to ration out his vials. Trying to make sure he's last as long as possible.... It could only get him so far, of course. 

At some point, when Ink was essentially No More, Fresh snapped and made a choice. They had talked about it before, when things were just starting to get bad. Since Ink's body in that state just becomes a puppet for whoever wants to use him? Ink would rather Fresh had him than anyone else. He would rather it not have to happen at all, still clinging to some hope that this wouldn't be forever, but if it had to? It should be Fresh.

And so it was Fresh. He decided that nothing was going to change, that things were just going to get worse and worse and worse, so he might as well. Ink was the most important figure in his life and he didn't want to be separated from him. He was even thinking about fleeing to another MV, since that is an ability Fresh has. So why not take his Ink with him?

However in his uhhh highly emotional state? Something that he still was only so used to dealing with? Maybe his sentiments went a little to far... Resulting in them more... fusing together rather than just becoming his next vessel. While still kind of figuring out the whole Joint Thing™️ Creation did end up fleeing to another MV. Not all that long after the entire place ceased to be! making Creation the only confirmed survivor who was having a heck of a time dealing with how new Situation™️. 

He wandered around between MVs for a while, meeting new people (mainly interested in versions of his selves) and just seeing what it was like out there. He eventually settled not just into himself but into a new MV, where he lives to this day. He still has contact with some of the Freshes & Inks he met in past using the Doodlesphere Mirror (from Ink's canon) to chat! 

Bonus: Oh and this Fresh in particular always had some connection to divinity & creation as well. Always feeling drawn to it. Which definitely, not that he'd admit it, played a part in him 'befriending' Ink. Kind of wanting to uhhhhh study him? See what it was all about? Being as close as possible to a representation of the things he as 'supposed' to be / have?? Like he, a habit Creation keeps, always referred to his hosts as his vessels! Well. Creation can't change vessels seeing as he is fused together now but his memories of Fresh's previous ones are referred to as vessels alongside his current body.

[fanby-fckry]

🍭🎀 for the ask game!♡

Let's Get ((REAL)) fic writer asks

Thank you! <3

🍭 why did you start writing?

When it comes to writing in general, I’ve had a passion for story telling for about as long as I could write.

I remember there was an assignment in like 1st lr 2nd grade where my teacher had the class add “spider legs” to their stories, which were basically strips of paper that you could use to add more details to things without erasing. She used to call my spider legs “elephant legs” because I’d add line after line on every “leg.”

As for fanfiction specifically, I did it out of spite.

I saw someone say that RadioApple could never work because Lucifer likes to tempt people with sex (not canon but ok) and Alastor’s asexual. Plus the power difference would make it unhealth and wrong. :/

And in response, I wrote Tempting Entertainment: the precursor fic to UH3.

So uh, thanks random RadioApple anti from 2019. You changed my life forever, and now I have an ongoing series of RadioAppleSiren kinky queer platonic polycule fanfics that get an insane amount of interaction and comments from people telling me how much they liked my work/how wholesome the unholy 3 are/how my portrayal of Alastor’s aroace-ness.

Also, get fucked because UH3!Alastor sure isn’t.

🎀 give yourself a compliment about your own writing

I need to stop reblogging ask games that have this as a prompt, because beloved mutuals are insistent on sending it every time, and I’m going to run out of nice things to say about my work eventually.

Also, I sent one back to you as revenge but the nice kind. If I have to appreciate my work then so you!

Hmmmmmm what do I actually say about this? And what haven’t I said already?

Oh! I think I’m pretty good at noticing the trends that happen when my characters start “writing themselves” and acting accordingly.

I accidentally wrote UH3!Alastor with a bunch of my own Cluster B traits in addition to the implied canon traits. And while I tried to minimize them for a while for fear of The Discourse™️, eventually I decided it was better to double down and write with my own perspective as a person with a personality disorder in mind.

Recently I came to the realization that UH3!Alastor may have a gender preference for women when it comes to platonic and sensual attraction, which I had kind of assumed wouldn’t happen in this AU, but he did it anyway. I’m gonna be keeping an eye on that, and might be updating his microlabels.

He doesn’t know his own microlabels, but it helps me keep my writing consistent. Previously I’d had him down as panaesthetic, pansensual, and panplatonic but I think he’s actually bisensual and biplatonic. His aesthetic attraction isn’t at all based on gender; meanwhile while he can experience sensual, platonic, and queer platonic attraction to any gender, he seems to have a noticeable difference between women and everybody else.

I blame his father for this. I also blame him for a good portion of the Cluster B symptoms. Wow, I really wanna write some backstory about Alastor’s relationship with his father, because it’s hinted at in UH3 in several places, but it doesn’t come up a lot and I have so many things to say.

Uhh, what was I talking about? Oh yeah, my writing! Complimenting it!

Sometimes my characters write themselves, and I think I do a pretty good job chasing after them and taking notes. :3

[blackstarchanx3new]

Hi! Uh... I might sound a bit dumb for this question but I really can't think of anyone else to ask, how do you fucking go about on making an au? Because like... I don't know. And it's overwhelming me ngl. I don't know.

You know all those random head cannons that float around in your brain.

Or interactions you've thought of between characters FROM said head cannons:

You just make those a reality. X'D

Welcome to the "Character based AU" Idk what else to call it.

Creations AU for example: Born from me having dumb funny ideas like making Bonnie a stoner, or Freddy a literal prostitute and the Night guard a stone faced bad ass who reacts near emotionlessly/weird no matter what bullshit is in front of him.

Shit like that gives way to a LOT of stupid interactions/comedy. Is if objectively funny? Idk. But it makes me laugh.

Fannon Fan cannon ideas I like from a writing perspective. Not exactly a cannon/theory one lmfao can't stress that enough.

Glamrock Freddy being Michael/Josh in Creations instance, Mikebot, William murdering to try and resurrect his children, Golden Freddy being crying child. Those are just some examples of fannon ideas/theories I liked enough to run with.

Cobbled with: Scenes from the actual games I like

Also: A shit ton of OCs cause we're cringe tonight!~ >:)

I mostly focus on CHARACTER based AUs just cause I like writing CHARACTERS not character concepts.... Multiverse Mayhem is a character concept thing, but I'm not ready to write that yet, and it's way more "Character based" when it comes to how it's actually IMPLIMENTED

But you can do em with random concepts too most UNDERTALE AUs I know are more IDEA based than character based:

CONCEPT AUS!

Have you ever asked yourself:

"WHAT IF INSTEAD OF BEING HAPPY, THEY WERE ALL SAD!" "WHAT IF ALL THE CHARACTERS WERE SHRIMP!?"

And my least favorite: "WHAT IF WE SWAPPED THEIR ROLES!?"

The laziest/my least favorite/fun trope lmfao but a lot of people like that one. it's SUPER hard to make interesting At least to me but my opinions are ass so you can throw em out. X'D but if you're a good writer you can make nearly anything work.

Evil character A is the good guy and Good guy is the bad guy. They swap outfits and MAYBE their backstory's are swapped? Idk there's no consistent rules to this AU idea. Somehow we ended up with the reverse of what was there in cannon. I've only seen it done in a fun way when it's like REALLY detailed Reverse Falls I found interesting for example. Underswap is lazy af and we can all admit we only like the skelebros. I virtually ONLY like them when they're accessories to other AUs/playing off other Sans and Papyrus but that's just me....

There's also "What if x plot point from cannon was changed"

Like uhh, you know. A character NEARLY dies in cannon but ACTUALLY dies in this AU.

@james-p-sullivan wrote a fic about that with Four Swords where Vio dies at the fire temple.

That still has one chapter left that i am waiting eagerly for. X'D

Basically AUs like this are "Cannon divergence." I think is what they're called???

These are super fun.

Because if you know the characters really well you can make em react to whatever divergence in cannon in great ways.

And then there's:

THE PREQUEL, THE SEQUEL AND THE MIDQUEL

Four Swords Returns for example is a sequel with midquel elements.

Midquel: You add scenes where they COULD have fit in cannon or you flesh out scenes mentioned but not seen.

I made FSR: Because I didn't like the ending we were given.

And if you hate an ending: Make a sequel. It's fun.

I started FSR with the simple concept:

How I can split Link in 4 again?

Vaati's curse! :D

Vaati is still alive. Retcon Gannon being in the sword and retcon Vaati being dead. Literally no one has complained because Vaati is wonderful and we love him.

Make it possible for them to split again.

Oh...But what challenges COME from this?

Boom the plot happened.

Basically: Ask yourself a SHIT TON of questions.

"What if this?" "What if that?"

Keep going.

Keep writing cool scenes you would like to see in this AU.

Bam.

You got yourself an AU. :

Hope this helps.

[felikatze]

i finished all the zeno endings yahooo

at this point i admit i played it because i saw gavinom make fanart for it and gavinom makes the most baller WH fanart to exist so obviously i had to check it out

on one hand i liked it, on the other i didn't... i think it's because themes and some narrative elements are at war with each other?

uhh cws i guess discussion of ableism (institutional), cannibalism, mental illness stuff, whatever happens in Zeno

I really liked the True Ending E and Ushinoro Ending H... It's a commonality of both "best endings" that it has all characters confront their traumas and learn to move on from them. This is most evident in Fuyu in Ending E, who copes with what happened to his sister and finally lets go of his revenge...

And in Ending H, i really liked that Haru is still messed up from everything he witnessed, but he's getting better. He still has these impulses in his heart, he knows it's wrong, but it's still something that shaped him, and he wants to get better... It's nice. Also notably, Ending H is the one where nobody gets magical memory erasure. Everybody has to recover organically..

In that sense, I like that the whole memory erasure thing never really works, mainly applying to the normal endings. Bcuz you can't face and move on from trauma by just repressing it. That's why Haru relapsed even after his memories got erased the first time. He didn't properly deal with it, so as soon as he was reminded of it, it just came bubbling back.

Similarly, in the Sin Endings where Aki tells Haru the truth, it doesn't work either, because instead of supporting Haru through everything, Aki kind of just ends up stumbling ass backwards into Haru's biggest trigger and retraumatizes him.

In all of the Sin endings, it shows that you can't cure someone "by force" in how Aki treats Haru in those. Reflects hamfisted therapy approaches that are too focused on fixing people instead of treating them as actual people.

There's also a similar thread in the backstory, of how Aki fought to keep the facility open because he saw that his talk therapy approach was working with Haru. and it IS notable that Haru makes first strides toward recovery when he's treated humanely and finds a friend, literally anything resembling a support system.

It's extremely common for people to relapse when in safe environments. Even afterward, Haru immediately felt immense regret and agreed to treatment, which is why he accepted Fuyu's memory treatment, even when Fuyu was being shifty as fuck. Haru wanted to get better for Aki. Cute.

Where was I. Ah yes the institutional ableism thing. Aki fighting to keep the facility open because a humane approach was working, but the higher ups wrote off every patient as a lost cause and just plain crazy. Reflects the real societal problem that there just isn't enough money invested into rehabilitation and humane medicine.

The True Ends and Ushinoro Ends really managed to pull through on not having me write the game off after the whole "cannibal disease" twist by portraying everybody affected as a victim themselves, who can still recover and get better, even if they never forgive themselves or each other. You can always move on bro.

Now speaking of what I didn't like. the cannibal disease thing.

I GET that part of the theme is "this could happen to anybody." ANYONE can experience something traumatic, be struck by mental illness at any moment. There is no use thinking you're "above" anybody when you're one bad day away from being like them, and breaking that barrier of "normal people" and "the crazies" is the first step to the long road of destigmatization, and of getting people some actual support.

But. the specifics of the Zeno disease.... If it's caused by trauma, what the hell was all this genetic shit about? There's several notes in the game mentioning it may be hereditary, which would explain why both Fuyu and Natsu were affected, as siblings, but you're cutting WAY TOO DEEP into "serial killer gene" eugenicist theories there, pal.

Like with Haru.... since we get to see his backstory First and the game presents a very reasonable throughline of why he ended up this way... Child neglect + abuse left him with a skewed worldview and when he witnessed Natsu being eaten that imprinted on him a distorted meaning of love. And like, i can Understand this sequence of events? I can understand why Haru is behaving this way, I understand why specifically cannibalism is what he does. Because THAT'S what impressed him.

Whereas for the other people with Zeno... because Haru is set up So Well for these specific symptoms, everybody else just seems wack by comparison. Like okay maybe Fuyu still works since his traumatizing incident was his sister getting eaten but for Aki himself there really is NO throughline between his parents dying and eating people. There's no presentation of how the cause leads to the effect outside of a general "Trauma causes Zeno".

and in its origin Zeno ends up directly paralleling PTSD, so u get why "trauma causes u to kill people" is like, bad. Again for Haru it WORKS because there's that specific throughline of how he ended up this way.

And Natsu's trauma is.............. being rejected by her crush? Seriously? Like cmon man. When i saw that i was just sitting there like. Okayyyyy. Because she's the Only Girl this had to happen I guess. Maybe mirrors how Haru is also blatantly in love w Aki in his own distorted way but still just so weak.

(Actually thinking abt that one Sin Ending where Aki forces Haru to eat part of him to "cure" him based on his own misconceptions.... Like that is more compelling as a reason for Aki to have cannibalized Natsu than "he just suddenly wanted to due to Fantasy Disease"... Like if Natsu actually forced him to or something. Whatever.)

I also didn't like on the Ushirono End Path where it's revealed it's Natsu's Spirit that caused Aki to relapse. I mean like, isn't Aki relapsing because he was put into the position of killing someone to protect himself more compelling and also more reasonable? Like you don't flat out Cure trauma. It's always gonna be there you can work with it you can move on with it but there is no state where it is simply 100% Erased without risk of return Ever, which I'd imagine is the same for Zeno.

So to say that "Yeah Aki's Zeno was Cured from eating Natsu but then HER Zeno infected him again" is so weird. First of all, it's never established anywhere ever that Zeno can in any way be transmitted. That's a false correlation Aki makes at some point because Fuyu bit Haru prior to Haru going off the deep end again. Second of all. What?

The game is TRYING to base it's lore in reality by making Zeno a mental illness caused by trauma and to then introduce Spirits at the last minute... Suddenly having a ghost as part of the climax. I SEE the symbolic value both in getting to learn about Natsu as more than just Aki's victim, in allowing Fuyu the opportunity to talk to his sister one last time, in having her dying one final time to give Aki closure over his guilt, but.

Thematically. Yeah sure it's great. Logistically... out of place.

What the fuck am i talking about. RIGHT ZENO. outside of the whole "it's bad to just invent a mental illness that has you kill people" and the complaint at how weak it makes Aki's backstory when Haru's is great, other lore around Zeno is also just a bit Weird.

Like that it was being researched in this facility as potential use for a military weapon, since Zeno made people tougher and improved regeneration. This is obviously drawing on the concept of "hysteric strength", that humans are much stronger when their inhibitions are removed under duress. But it also makes it weird that the military would then just call it quits on the research when the patients aren't being cured. Like, you don't want them being cured, right? It's the ableism of only wanting people to recover if they're "useful", and if it's too hard, then they might as well just die to spare the resources.

And part of me understands that Zeno is also of course a plot device. Aki eating Natsu is necessary to facilitate the whole plot. Without that inciting incident, Haru wouldn't have developed the way he did, Fuyu wouldn't want revenge, Aki wouldn't have started working in the facility, etc.

There's lore bits saying that the military was looking for a way to artificially induce Zeno, because of the whole hysteric strength thing, then called it quits when the patients turned out to be too much to handle. Why isn't there anything to do with that? Ig i'm just spitballing at least something like THIS would feel more adequate over "Natsu wanted to eat people because her crush rejected her" + the mini lore over the oldest Ushirono being the vice prime minister who signed off on the facility being destroyed, fully aware that his younger brother is an employee there. Like what if this guy used Natsu as a subject to induce Zeno, then Natsu forced Aki to kill her, which fucked up Aki and Haru which lead to everything?

And maybe you'd feel that cheapens the narrative but it WOULD reframe what happened with Natsu as "terrible shit that ultimately wasn't anybody's fault and we all just now have to cope with" which is ultimately the exact same thing as just going "Aki went through with it because he had Zeno" because both options resolve Natsu and Aki of responsibility for their actions.

And now I'm gonna ramble about another point which is that exact measure of "responsibility". Like. Fuyu still wants to kill Aki even after being cured. Haru still has these urges in him on the path to recovery. Aki takes personal responsibility for having killed Natsu.

It's so WEIRD to say "they did these things because of The Disease" and then still put everything squarely in their hands. And i guess that's the narrative of "everybody has these urges inside them and could become like this" but then why make it this funky disease if everybody is acting on their own urges anyway???

and also side note. no cannibalism is not a basic human urge. it's just. not. everybody doesn't have the desire to eat people in their heart. maybe hurting people. but eating people is a specific expression of that, not the universal one.

i feel like if i talk more i'm going to spin more circles than i have already.

SO!! CONCLUSION!!! I did like it. I liked the commentary on redemption and recovery and a sympathetic depiction of mentally ill people, even those who have done "unforgivable" things, and the best ending shows that despite everything they've done, Aki and Haru don't deserve to die. It's very humanizing.

But ultimately weakened by the last minute introduction of supernatural elements, and the basic worldbuilding of the Zeno disease that just feels completely out of place for Aki and his character.

Idk what rating I'd give it. Good but i have mixed feelings? I thought the ending portions were overall great? Fuck if I used a guide tho, I'd have never found any of that shit myself, and the Sin Path was pretty delightfully Fucked.

for just like 2,5 hours of playtime max, it gives a lot to chew on. also the puzzles were fun though i DID use a guide for the timed one on the Ushinoro End path because FUCK OFF MAENO I'M GONNA HAVE A HEART ATTACK SOLVING PUZZLES UNDER A TIME LIMIT.

i also very much appreciate that it just lets you turn chase sequences off because otherwise my poor fragile rabbit heart would not be able to cope and i would explode. thank u for the accessibility.

[chthonicgodling]

okay so I don't know if this is in the realm of what you're in the mood of talking about BUT seeing that Loki was responsible for exploding thanatos (lol) I'm curious how well they knew each other ?? *if* they knew each other ??

ohHhhHh MARS LIKE I SAID I AM SO… SO GLAD YOU ASKED THIS

this is going to be very, very, very long but before I jump behind a cut and answer your actual question, allow me to share & recap some crucial background information to paint the scene first for where we were - this was many years ago . Hmmm even this preamble is stupid long. I’m so sorry.

(OoC, around the year 2013 BUT our in-canon 5 year jump ahead took place in the middle of this duration so the actual in-canon year no longer matches up or— whatever)

the important refresher facts (and new info?) are, of course Loki falls into Elysium, the gang rehabs him, Loki comes around, sleeps around with the palace, ends up knocked up by Laphi with Fjöer; despite Loki briefly disappearing in panic he does eventually return (with… with an egg lmao) and this is NOT a crisis because Loki is learning to trust his new friends; Fjöer’s born —

Fjöer gets kidnapped to the mortal world. Loki relapses straight back into supervillainy and goes absolutely ballistic, torturing and almost murdering A Certain Key Player of A Certain Superhero Team while convinced he had something to do with it. He did not. Tory gets Fjöer back. To keep the peace in the mortal world, he promises that Loki will never, EVER leave the underworld again. To make this happen, Tory tricks Loki into eating the food of the dead, thus damning him to the Underworld in accordance with ancient magic laws. Loki (though feeling incredibly guilty) is horrified and enraged at this betrayal.

Loki proceeds to hack into the entire magical grid of the Underworld and recenters its magical essence TO HIM, now holding all the power of the whole realm in his very being and becoming the vessel for all those ancient magic binding rules so… now he can resume going wherever he pleases. This is SO dramatic that Tory fuckin rolls his eyes and gives the fuck up okay FINE LOKI YOU WIN just please don’t try to kill anyone again. ok deal:)

then our in-universe five year jump ahead takes place… now, approximately six and a half years after Loki first fell to Elysium —Loki’s just given birth to baby Rane; Tory is now heavily pregnant with his and Loki’s oopsie twins Eisa and Einmyria, it’s a high risk pregnancy made none the easier of the drama of that whole situation (long separate story). here we are. got it? good.

Now, your actual answer.

When Loki had first entered Elysium and was ~*bonding*~ with everyone, and unpicking the pieces of the trauma he’d gone through, slowly one by one the residents of the palace began to open up in very limited bits and pieces to Loki about their own tragic backstories. Curiously enough, EVERYONE’S tragic backstories centered mostly around this ONE individual, a mysterious evil god Thanatos who, Loki was informed, was currently imprisoned in Tartarus for the crime of kidnapping baby Neo, just before Loki had arrived.

Though everyone was kinda hesitant to share all the gory intimate details with this uhh, hostile stranger, as time went on and Loki opened up himself and everyone became friends Loki gathered more and more bits and pieces of info and found himself learning quite a bit about Thanatos. More than anything, Loki was taken aback by how much of an influence he’d had on so MANY lives, how much terror and fear he’d inflicted upon all these lovely people Loki had just met and kindave liked . Loki also was very alarmed by the thought of having such an alleged huge threat living in a jail cell like. Just next door. hello?!!! And… finally….. he also… didn’t really believe it was possible that one singular god could be so dangerous? Like, they’d successfully arrested him, soooo. What was even the big deal.

Cocky as ever, needing to have the upper hand, perhaps taking sick pleasure in the fact that everyone would be really, really mad if they found out what Loki was doing, BUT just mostly, curious like a feral horrible little cat - Loki snuck into Tartarus. He introduced himself to Thanatos, who seemed to be slightly delirious under the influence of Epi’s poison nightmares. Assessing the big scary legend of Thanatos before his eyes as not much of a threat at all, Loki decided to become fascinated with the thought of picking through his head…. And he figured it was best and harmless to do this under the guise of socializing. Loki FUCKING MADE FRIENDS WITH HIM.

He proceeded to secretly visit him in Tartarus about once a week for FIVE ENTIRE YEARS OF THAT JUMP.

What was the harm anyway? Though annoyed that Loki kept bothering him, Thanatos clearly had been put thoroughly out of commission and he didn’t really seem to have a real grasp on where he was or that Loki was not some sort of hallucination. Still, to be safe, eventually when Loki got pregnant with Rane, he temporarily stopped his visits, resuming them but briefly after she was born, before pausing again to deal with Tory’s pregnancy. In the meantime, through those gaps…

Loki’s cocky underestimating of Thanatos was in fact a fatal mistake, because the entire time they’d been together Thanatos had faked his delirium. Only ever saying just enough to keep Loki from detecting his whole ruse was a lie, while Loki was having fucking picnics Thanatos was studying the HELL out of him.

All that Underworld magic tangled up within him was accessible to Thanatos due to his own standing realm as God of Death, enmeshed into the Underworld himself - and without Loki detecting a thing, Thanatos spent five years discreetly SIPHONING out the powers to control the realm that Loki had amassed. Slowly but surely. Little bits, so that Loki wouldn’t notice.

During the double maternity leave, Thanatos from his jail cell managed to get ahold of Chal, who (VERY PRE EVERYTHING THIS WAS LIKE THREE YEARS BEFORE HER WHOLE THING) was loose in Tartarus trying to escape Ker again. Thanatos had now collected enough of the Underworld’s magic to track down the information about how to get the keys or whatever that locked him in. He sent Chal off to find that key and break him out. Eventually - Chal ✨did this.✨ Thanatos was now LOOSE, and they escaped together off the grid.

The palace discovered Thanatos was loose because, (secretly at this point), he now had a whole litany of magic abilities and he just started APPEARING in television screens and mirrors of the palace that November to give villainous speeches - clearly out of prison, clearly of his usual “sound mind”, and clearly making HUGE THREATS. The palace went into FULL LOCKDOWN panic and Epi and Loki - Tory was way too pregnant! - split up to go find him.

Loki found him (and Chal - what the fuck this was Thanatos’s kid??! This wobbly teenager?! Loki made a mental note to do something about that much later👀) immediately. In this confrontation, Thanatos played delirious again and Loki STILL WILDLY UNDERESTIMATING HIM, but slightly shaken at how panicked his friends at the palace were, made Thanatos promise to leave the palace alone in exchange for Loki not ratting him out and turning him in. Batting his eyelashes, Thanatos agreed. His own secret shield of magic he’d built successfully blocked out Loki’s built in lie detector - and, crucially, unwise to the tips and tricks of the Underworld, Loki did NOT make him swear an unbreakable oath. He,, took him at face value?!?! And flounced back to the palace to announce that he couldn’t find him but he probably would not cause any trouble.

And then Thanatos began to project himself into the palace.

You know Loki’s little clones? Haha since fucking when did Thanatos know how to do that?! Though these clones were not solid and he couldn’t lay a finger on anyone, he began to terrorize verbally everyone hiding within the palace, all the people he’d hurt - Maci. Eury. Hypnos. Hess. Bullied away again and again by Epi and Loki - keeping Tory far away, who again ahhhhh high risk pregnancy! - but coming back more and more, just over the span of mere hours, days, the palace began to break down into psychological torment - and the more time these Thanatos clones spent around Loki - the more he began to draw from him and. Oh god. Oh no. FEELING THE CHANGE, Loki realized what was happening. He realized what he’d done and enabled. In a rare moment of respite, He confessed. EVERYONE WAS FUCKING FURIOUS, just at his show of cocky hubris especially now that Loki, in increasing panic, was admitting that he’d grossly underestimated the danger of Thanatos and - LOKI, OH MY GODS, YOU DID THIS, FIX IT BEFORE SOMEONE GETS HURT. Thanatos was growing too powerful and Loki could no longer locate him oh my god oh my god oh nNOOO—

Unsure if Thanatos was copying his magic or fully DRAINING it away and, in horror suspecting the latter, Loki quickly began to formulate a plan with Epi. The Underworld magic he held within himself was meant to protect him and if he could somehow trigger that Defense mode into action, then surely that would be powerful enough to knock Thanatos out enough to— idk, figure it out from there? But how to trigger that? He and Epi began testing by fuckin attacking the shit out of Loki (after all this, Epi was more than happy to do this 😌) and letting that power indeed force field him back in retaliation so now it was just a matter of honing that to be stronger.

Before he could perfect it, Thanatos figured out how to make a partially solid clone, and straight from the balcony of the palace, kidnapped - um. a certain nymph of great importance to Loki (staring directly at the camera bc…. you know,, but this, is in progress due to Circumstances and may change, not important who this is rn!) OKAY WELL NO MORE TIME TO WASTE GO GET THIS FUCKING BASTARD NOW — Epi used dreams to find where [redacted] was being kept and they went on the attack.

But this was a trap - luring Loki there was all according to plan, because what Loki didn’t account for in his tests was how his defense magic would react to going up against ANOTHER budding vessel of the Underworld. And when Thanatos - who HAD figured this out - attacked him, that power rushed back — and Thanatos caught it.

AND TOOK IT.

draining Loki of almost everything within him and ✨also stabbing him✨ Thanatos now fucking controlled all the magic of the Underworld AND THAT INCLUDED THE ELYSIUM BARRIER. He collapsed the barrier that kept him physically out of the palace and went straight there, Epi tearing after him, Loki weakened and dying and collapsed in a heap. He broke into the palace - trapped Epi into a little bubble barrier of magic that he couldn’t get out of - and in a scene of utter chaos proceeded to get to attack Maci, Hess - Icy in the playroom before Meli managed to shield the rest of the kids away - Eury, in front of Epi - Tory, pregnant and hidden away was next once he found him and —

Loki reappeared.

The Underworld’s magic had bound himself to HIM. It was intwined within his bones, his genes. He’d done the work, laid the spells, it was loyal to HIM and not the leech who’d torn it from him.

Thanatos uncontrollable and unstoppable, his full unhinged reign of carnage, in his absolute peak hysterical villainy - it had been so long, so many attempts, he was completely insane unraveled by this point - screaming and GLOATING and grinning and advancing - stopped suddenly in his tracks as Loki staggered in the hallway and reached out to him. Bleeding out, Loki understood very very well now the threat that Thanatos really was and always had been.

The Underworld’s magic felt Loki reach for it with a snarl. And it stretched out to return to the vessel it properly belonged in…… all at once.

Thanatos exploded.

*twirls hair* and so Umm. in short..,,, um. yeah.

they knew each other. :)

[cringelordofchaos]

You asked Berry this so I am asking YOU out of spite for not asking ME

YOUR SONIC HEADCANONS??

IFHASHFKAJHVKAHDKC

uhmm ill be my own attorney in the court; in my defense, your honour, i saw berry reblog a post specifically about sonic sexuality headcanons and berry shared their hcs in the tags but also put in the tags abt how their 'headcanons may change'. and i wanted to see if their headcanons changed so i asked them

ANYWAY

uhh these r all pretty much identity + nd hcs so sorry if u were lookin for more

(edit:wait actually im gonna sort this into two parts:: queer + nd headcanons and then like. backstory and personality hcs)

SONIC: adhd, used to hc him as bi ace but fuck it hes romance repulsed oriented aroace, also me likes the idea of him being genderqueer in some way, moreso specifically either transmasc nonbiney or transmasc trigender. also adhd (side note i heard someone sayhe couldnt possibly have adhd cuz "he can focus on missions" and. wjhat.) also maybe ptsd from thecountless traumatic experiences hess had to endure

AMY: sappho. i have also adhd'ed her in the past but im not so sure npw. i also saw someone hc her as bipolar and thas valid

TAILS: i know he can definitely represent as an autistic stereotypce but look at him :(( (but i genuinely think his backstory is sort of a metaphor for the nd experience. and also i think theres a lot of things that may make him autistic codedthough albeit many of them r stereotypical). special interest in engineering

KNUCKLES: bisexual as ffffff, though he doesnt give a shi abt labels

and ofc STTICKS:: demirose lesbiian. . also female but she rlly doesnt care abt gender. also autistci mayhaps

now for the more interesting hcs:

SONIC: something traumatic happened to him that made him scared of water in the first place, thas for sure methinks. he also just doesnt really show his negative emotions and he moreso just tries to 'dealw it' instead. i have headcanoned this for years as many others have and it appears to be somewhat canon in frontiers which is pretty great. he plays the electric guitar and is a pretty skilled singer and yeah. chilli dawgs r his comfort food....... loves rock electric and heavy metal and sometimes listens to it on his runs. pretty comfortable w being independent . also this is not a headcanon but i dont think his idw iteration is that out of character. he sees pretty much everyone (rivals and frenemiesalike) as friendos

AMY: has some form of abandonment issues which is what makes her as clingy as she is. generally used to feel left out and misunderstood from sonic n others in games like adventure and adventure2 but their relationshipsget better. listen. listen i heard someone on tumblr hc amy having abandonment issues and it hasnt left my miind since. she used to feel embarrassed by herself and her personality but became much more expressive of herself as time went on bc she starrted feeling more accepted. DEFINITELY writes fanfiction and fancomics and draws fanart and likes theatre(this is canoon actually). has meetings w the girlsTM where she just reads their fortune n everything. she also said in one game that she aspires to BE LIKE sonic and i have hcs abt that as well. can b mischievious and sneaky. has a tarot card reading BUSINESS this girl earns money for this !! shes very magiical girl bc she can pull her hammer out there, tell the future, turn invisible, has a 'sonic snese' but this is not a headcanon this is canon. plays the violin. loves to create fun outfits. into knitting and crocheting. . yeah i have more

TAILS: he can get pretty insecure of himself at times, heholds high expactations of himself and feels like if he doesnt meet them he might as well be a failure. ooopslol. he also hates when ppl misinterperets who he is as a person and when they undermine how skilled he is. he sometimes doesnt really let others know how he feels and hides it w a positive attitude. his gizmo is his comfort item. sonic was his first friend. the reason why he acted cocky in lost world and constantly pointed out how they shouldnt trust eggman (although it was super ooc) is bc of how insecure he was and he felt like sonic didnt trust himenough. and he feels bad abt it. hm. he also likes to draw sometimes and is generally skilled and precise, partly bc he has to draw blueprints for his creeations. one of them orphans. wags his tails/unintentionally starts flying when hes excited (stimming woag). hes not really SCARED of thunderstorms but they ARE a sensory nightmare for hiim (loud, bright/0). sonic sort of 'taught him how to make friends'. he still has cosmo in the form of a plant inside his house. he has many bunkers/ Sometimes he has a hard time accepting help (inherited from his older brotherlol). his tails are an nd allegoryOK ILL SHUT UP NOW

KNUCLES: icoud rambllea lot about him whenever im in the mood especially when i seeppl misinterperet him but i dont really have much HEADcanons bc everything i say abt him is canon

STICKS: ok this is gonna sound wild and its definitely not original but. she has abandonment/truusst issues relatedto her former parents that have something to do w the government which is one of the reasons she became so hateful of th egovenrment. dont ask (actually do if you want to). generally feels free to be herself but there are times when she feels ashamed of her wild side ig you couldcall it. very creative.

the reason why theres not shadow even though hes one of the more popular ones is bc im just not obsessed w him at the moment sorry :(

I HAVE MORE but these are all FOR NOW

now YOU TELL ME YOUR SONIC HEADCANONS SO I DONT LOOK AS DELUSIONAL [[POINTS FINGER AT YOU]]

[navysealt4t]

HI JAZZY I HAVENT BEEN IN HERE IN AAAAAAGES HELLO!! ^_^

okay so for one. this fic is tearing out my heart. uhm. forgive the Nonsense. this is part of my planning / concepting and it isjust. stuck in my brain. it gets so much worse but like also i just. i feel the need to share this

Mapicc is the first real case of it happening in the group, and it shakes everybody because really, nobody saw it coming. Sure, he was a bit reckless, he didn't always use the safest tech, and had a tendency to get it from shady places, but that didn't explain how or why he suddenly turned on all of them. Zam, Ro, and him, they were close. They were Team Awesome, for god's sake! The first team that Zam ended up with after the M.O.B. went to shit, and Mapicc was one of the two leading the whole operation. Ro was shaken a lot more by Mapicc's disappearance, and when he later on returned, completely acting wrong and not at all the way he was supposed to, nobody really knew what to do about it. Zam tried to talk to him, only to realize he wasn't responding to external stimuli correctly, mostly just staring blankly and not exactly understanding. He looked at them, he was aware enough to know where they were and who they were, but he couldn't, or didn't want to, respond to them. No matter how hard they tried to shake him from it. It was horrible, and it completely tore apart the team, especially since it ended up just being Ro and Zam at the end. Even though they were close and relatively understood each other, they liked each other's company, there was nothing fully keeping them together or in the same space proper. Ro held onto a lot of Mapicc's jewelry and smaller items after he disappeared; Zam didn't keep anything, especially not after Mapicc turned up a month later and was like a rabid dog at his door, begging to be let in but immediately attacking him upon being let inside. It was a horrible, traumatizing experience.

^ i am actively being plagued by this group. ALSO the fact that like. ro doesn't have the heart to kill mapicc (and because really that's the only thing anybody can think to do in these situations) so he just. desperately keeps trying to bring back his friend. he looks at the not-all-there-practically-a-corpse of his best friend and has to make sure he lives through the day. even when mapicc bites the hand that feeds.

it's horrible and i love this and i need to include it more in the main fic but i CANNOT work it in without absolutely killing the pacing and timeline. woopsie. (this is all backstory Things and it shakes the whole story. even if they dance around it.)

OH AND ALSO! unrelated song that i love so dearly that frequently has me in tears ^_^

HAUNT ASK HAUNT SNIP HAUNT SNIP!!!!!n!!

OUUGH??? YES. ohh you just love a group of fucked up traumatizedguys. i’m so eepy to form uhh words and thoughts but something about this is biting my brain…

also i hateee hate hate when i wanna include something so badly but it just. does Not fit in with the fic </3 worst thing ever

[lenasai]

uhh top 5 fave blaseball players :]

i'm gonna do this and then i'm gonna check my ao3 page to see if what i end up saying lines up with how many times i've written about them

i don't think i could actually rank them past my top spot so in no particular order:

-my ultimate blorbos, max and ivy. they are my kids who i rotate in my brain all the time like rotisserie chicken. i cannot separate them, they are like pair bonded kittens. i am holding them up to the screen. i will never stop thinking about how their stories played out in the long run. there's just something about being marked for death but managing to avoid it. instead, they lived long enough to kill the god who tried to kill them, and i am so proud of them forever. also they did funny things with the sim >:)

-jaylen hotdogfingers. the first blaseball player who took up so much space in my brain. i love her so much. i remember staying up until like 2am because we had a feedback game against the mechs and jaylen was pitching for the mechs. it was a really emotional moment when she came back to seattle. i took so much emotional damage when she got alternated, but i love jaybot too. i miss both of them so much ;A;

-chorby soul, for many of the same reasons i love jaylen but also because there's a different kind of tragedy in their story. jaylen was resurrected because she was loved. chorby was resurrected because they were identified as someone who could break the game. and then they got bitten over 200 times by sharks and got trapped in a cycle of death and resurrection until getting forcibly pulled from the league. they deserved so much more and i would give them so many hugs if i could.

-parker macmillan, the poor little meow meow of all time. part of it is his tragic backstory and part of it is me patting tgb on the back for creating The Blorbo Of All Time™. he killed so many people and it literally wasn't even his fault. he's divorced and upset about it. he got hyped up as this guy who was going to bring about the end of the world in season 24......and then he didn't. he only killed one team and it was so funny. also he kept switching between the pies and the garages. that was also funny. i'm glad he gets to be just a regular guy who kind of sucks on the crabs. good for him!

-there are so many players who could take this fifth spot because there are so many players i just really like who also happen to not be plot characters, but i'm gonna give this spot to alaynabella hollywood because i just think she's neat. i like werewolves and werewolf-adjacent characters. also she started out as a pitcher who absolutely sucked ass, which was the reason i got attached to her in the first place. she pitched s15d37 (the cursed game where max and nan almost exploded) and won, but at what cost (one of her friends almost exploded and another one got bitten by sharks and observed.) we moved her to batting, where she was pretty decent. i think this might have been what ultimately inspired us to move mike townsend to batting, where he hit Two Grand Slams before getting redacted for being too good at grand slams. and the funniest part of layna's entire career was ending the expansion era as a pretty good pitcher! you love to see it, but also i miss the season 14 pitching dumpster fire 💜

oops almost all of those players were on the garages at some point (with the exception of ivy.) my biases are kind of obvious lmao

okay let's see those ao3 numbers....

...which mostly track! of the characters i named, alaynabella hollywood is the only one who doesn't show up enough times to be listed in the sidebar. in case you want the actual numbers, max shows up in five works, ivy shows up in four, chorby and parker both show up in three, and jaylen shows up in only two, but that number goes up to three if you include jaybot (who now has her own tag on ao3!)