#where was all this chaos when max was dominating?

[eltaninrmnv]

they suddenly agreed to all be aggressive now that max is not on pole

[themultifanshipper]

With how dominant Ferrari seemed in Austin, you assumed you'd be seeing mostly red for three weeks.

You were very happy to be proven wrong.

Part 6 of One of the Boys

Warnings: smut, threesome, multiple threesomes in fact, six different partners in one fic whew, voyeurism?, brief double penetration, EIFFEL TOWER WITH THE FRENCH MEN Y'ALL, Pierre's canonically massive shlong, oral, shower sex, gaping and also Max having a weird kink at the end idk where that came from

The triple header was intense. In more ways than one.

COTA made you sore.

Well more accurately, Charles and Carlos made you sore after getting a Ferrari 1-2.

They decided to celebrate their success as teammates given that they didn't get such good results very often at the moment.

So they took turns with you.

Imagine getting passed around by your partners while they compete to see who can fuck you better and make you come harder.

They wrote their names on your thighs and put tally marks next to them every time they came inside you, until you were absolutely covered in tally marks and fucked out of your mind.

It was mind numbing, and when they finally let you sleep, the sun was almost up and you had flights to catch.

Luckily all three of you had booked a spot in the same private jet, along with a few other drivers.

Needless to say, they decided to continue the festivities on the jet, much to everyone else' displeasure.

Mexico was looking pretty good once again for Ferrari, but Charles backed out of the celebrations because, and I quote “he had stuff to do”, which left you to the mercy of Carlos and Lando.

The other drivers were hungover, and moody because of the noises coming from the private room at the back where you were getting your already abused cunt stretched by the two cocks that had beat them all in the race.

And mercy is one thing those two did not have.

When they got together it was chaos at the best of times.

But that night they bent you into shapes you didn't know you could manage.

Your favourite part was when they were standing and holding you up.

Carlos held you up by your thighs, keeping them spread with your back to his chest while he buried himself in your ass.

At first Lando was down on his knees, lapping at your drooling cunt while Carlos' balls slapped against his chin every time he thrust into you.

But once he'd quenched his thirst he stood up and slid into your tight heat, the pressure against your walls making you see stars as they bounced you on their cocks.

It was just as exhausting as the week before, the two of them obviously having unreal stamina.

Practice was fine. Sprint quali was… well it was.

You limped around that week, taking it easy and doing your best to recover for Brazil.

Then the sprint happened. It was chaotic and everyone was exhausted given the circumstances, and the hours of waiting under the rain for qualifying to start was not helping the collective mood.

Everyone went to bed equal parts frustrated and relieved that It was happening in the morning.

Qualifying came and went.

The race? Well it was anyone's game really.

No comment.

You bit your nails anxiously as you watched everyone slide off the track and/or crash. Not a single driver was safe from the disastrous track conditions.

Max came to see you during the last red flag.

“I'm going to get that fucking win” he said, holding you in his arms possessively. “I'm going to win this fucking race and then I'll get you all to myself tonight”

“Now now, Max.” you chided “you still have an Alpine to get past, and although I’m sure you will, if Pierre and Esteban both end up on the podium, I am definitely going to give them a reward”

Max scowled, and tried to argue, but you managed to convince him by promising that if he could be a good boy and watch silently, you’d give him his own private reward afterwards.

Besides… your body, your choice. And your boys always respected that.

Well, Max winning the race was a shock to most people, given where he started, but not to you. You knew he would do anything to get what he wanted.

And what he wanted was you.

That much was obvious the moment you opened your door and found him standing there, ready to pounce on you.

“Patience, Max. Let the Frenchmen have their turn” you smirked and led him over to his cuck chair.

You didn’t wait long for the others to arrive, they were just as eager as Max to get things rolling.

Pierre led you to the bed, sitting you down on it while he unbuckled his belt, eager to have your mouth on him.

You salivated at the sight of his cock, of which the rumours couldn't do justice.

You sucked on his tip gently, taking more of him every time his hips bucked involuntarily.

“I've always wanted to know what you'd look like with your mouth around my cock. And fuck- you're amazing”

He tipped his head back in pleasure as he got closer to the edge surprisingly quickly.

Esteban was behind him, slowly getting undressed while smirking at Max, who was still waiting patiently in the chair, with an obvious tent in his pants.

You were pulled off Pierre's cock by Este' hand in your hair and you heaved in a breath of air.

Pierre helped undress you and got you on all fours between them.

“Have you ever been to Paris?”  Pierre whispered from behind while he was draped over your body, and Esteban chuckled.

You let out a huff as he inserted two fingers inside your embarrassingly wet cunt.

“If that's a joke about the Eiffel tower, don't bother Pierre, I've heard it all before”

Pierre added a third finger before responding.

“Then let me tell you that we will not go easy on you…”

His thick digits were stroking the deepest parts of you, and you could feel yourself slowly losing the ability to speak.

Before long, Pierre was rubbing himself against you and you squirmed as he brushed over your still slightly sore clit.

When he pushed the tip in you knew you were a goner.

It was already stretching you out and he barely had an inch inside you.

Slowly he fit his entire length inside you and stayed like that as he felt your walls pulsing around him.

“Jesus” you choked out “You're so deep…”

Pierre chuckled evilly and rolled his hips as you shuddered with the pleasure of the intense stretch.

Esteban brought your chin up to look at him and he rubbed his tip over your lips, the taste of his precum hitting your senses and you moaned, opening your mouth so he could slide his own cock in.

Contrary to Pierre's words from before, they were being extremely gentle with you. Esteban was careful not to choke you and Pierre's languid thrusts were slow and deliberate, and were driving you utterly insane with need.

As your orgasm crept up on you, you started rocking back and forth between the two Frenchmen, whining desperately as your body started shaking.

“Look at you.. so desperate for cock” Esteban cooed while he stroked your cheek tenderly.

“I can feel you clenching around me baby, I know you're close, you can let go for me” Pierre said and you did just that, creaming around him while his thrusts got sloppier and sloppier as he approached his own orgasm.

Max was not having a good time.

Well, that's half a lie, he was scowling angrily at the others, but his hand was squeezing his cock through his pants, which were becoming unbearably tight at the moment.

He’d never seen Esteban or Pierre in action, but he had to admit you looked very good between them, and they were obviously very good at reading your body despite having had little to no experience with you.

Pierre slid out of you gently and the sound was obscene as your abused cunt struggled to keep him inside.

He fisted his cock hard and fast over you, staring at your twitching hole with an intensity that made butterflies erupt in your stomach.

“My god, I really stretched you out, you’re gaping” he groaned, and came in spurts all over your thighs and puffy, quivering mess of a cunt.

Esteban came in your mouth shortly after, cursing in French and muttering something about your mouth being absolute heaven.

Pierre dragged a couple of fingers through the mess, and brought them to your lips, which you eagerly parted to suck on the mix of his and your cum.

“Fucking hell… such a good girl” he glanced over at Max “I could do this all night… but I think Max might actually kill us if we stay much longer”

You glanced at the man in the corner, and he indeed looked like he wanted nothing more than to kick the other two out.

You giggled at him softly and beckoned him over while Pierre and Esteban got dressed.

He sat next to you, putting a warm hand on your thigh and asked if you were alright.

“Absolutely” you winked at the two men behind him then pulled Max in for a heated kiss.

“I don’t know about you, but I need a shower now. Join me?” you asked cheekily, getting up to give the Frenchmen a goodbye kiss each, while they ogled your naked body.

“Beautiful as always” Esteban smiled and Pierre rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, she’s a goddess, now let’s go before we get our necks broken”

You laughed as they walked over to the door, sending you flying kisses before disappearing through it.

Within a second of it being shut, Max’s body pressed against yours from behind.

“Why don’t I help you clean up, hmm?”

You turned around in his arms and grinned up at him.

“With pleasure”

What followed was possibly the softest sex you’d ever had.

Max lathered you up, washing all the cum and sweat off your body before turning you around against the glass door and pressing you against it.

“I need you so bad, schat” he groaned as you spread your legs and arched your back towards him.

“Then have me Max, I’m all yours”

He moaned as he slipped inside you with barely any resistance.

“Fuck! Pierre was right, you’re so loose…”

Despite all the negative connotations around being loose down there, Max seemed to find it incredibly hot as he whined into the back of your neck.

He thrusted in and out of you slowly as his hips shook with the effort of holding himself back from pounding into you with all his might. The last thing he wanted was to hurt you.

“I’m not- fuck, I’m not going to last long schat… this is so…”

He didn’t finish his sentence, instead using his remaining brain power to slide a hand down your body to circle your clit with mind blowing precision.

“Max, fuck-” you panted, the angle of his hips making his cock rub against that spot that left you breathless every single time. He knew your body like none of the other drivers ever could.

You both came together, panting against the glass and moaning as he filled you up to the brim, only for his cum to leak out of you immediately with how stretched out you were.

Max tried pushing it back in with his fingers but he groaned when he realised he could slip four of them inside easily.

“Give me a minute and I can go again, my god…” he sounded out of breath.

“Maaax…” you huffed “I don’t think I can come again after that”

He laughed and pulled his hand away “I know sweetheart, I was joking” he kissed the back of your neck sweetly before turning the water off and getting out to grab a towel for you.

You both dried off quickly and slipped into bed, curled up in each other’s arms contentedly.

Neither of you said much, until you were half unconscious and Max muttered the most unhinged sentence ever.

“Do you think next time I win, I could try getting my whole fist inside you?”

“Jesus Christ Max! You need to warn me before you say things like that” you gasped as you slapped his chest lightly.

“You didn’t answer my question” he reiterated once you’d settled back down in his arms.

You sighed.

“Go to sleep, Max. We can discuss your next prize if and when you win again”

Max huffed out a laugh and tightened his hold around your body.

“Brat”

[nayziiz]

Shadows | LN4

Summary: [Mafia] In the face of dire financial troubles, Lando receives a desperate plea from his father to unearth a lucrative solution within the family business. Fueled by the pressure to rescue his family from ruin, Lando stumbles upon a seemingly perfect venture—using luxury cars as a facade for the clandestine world of drug trafficking. With the unexpected partnership of Amelia Rossi, his father's best friend's daughter, Lando believes he has found the ideal accomplice. However, as the Norris family collides with the ambitious Russells in a ruthless bid to establish their dominance, the perilous path Lando has chosen places not only his newfound enterprise at stake but also entangles Amelia in the dangerous crossfire that unfolds.

Warning: Violence, drugs, blood, smut, fluff, guns

Pairing: Lando Norris x OC (Amelia Rossi) - appearances from other drivers

Masterlist

Chapter 14

Max Verstappen was an old friend of Lando's. Amelia recognised the Dutchman from Lando's time karting when he was just a kid. Lando always dragged Amelia with, and she hated it at first because it was just a bunch of boys. Then she convinced her father to let her drive a kart and she was hooked. It made sense why she had such a love for supercars. She was always a speed freak.

In the quaint Dutch village outside Rotterdam, where Max had set them up, Lando and Amelia found solace in the simplicity of their surroundings. Surrounded by unfamiliar sights and sounds, they relied on each other to navigate this new chapter of their lives. The language barrier posed a challenge at first, but they soon adapted, finding comfort in their shared experiences.

As they strolled through the cobblestone streets, hand in hand, they couldn't help but marvel at the charm of the village. The colourful houses with their window boxes filled with vibrant flowers, the smell of freshly baked bread wafting from the local bakery, and the friendly smiles of the villagers all added to the enchantment of their temporary home.

Despite the uncertainty of their future, Lando and Amelia embraced the opportunity to explore and immerse themselves in this unfamiliar culture. They spent their days wandering through the bustling markets, sampling local delicacies, and learning about the rich history of the region.

And through it all, their bond only grew stronger. They laughed, they talked, they shared their hopes and dreams for the future. In this tranquil village, far removed from the chaos of their past lives, they found a sense of peace and belonging that they had long been searching for.

But their time in the Netherlands was short-lived. Soon, they received word from Max that it was time to move on to their next destination: Brazil. With a mixture of excitement and apprehension, they packed their bags and boarded a plane, ready to embark on the next chapter of their journey together.

In São Paulo, the heat enveloped Lando and Amelia like a warm embrace, a stark contrast to the mild Mediterranean climate they were accustomed to. Adjusting to the sweltering temperatures and bustling city life proved to be a challenge, but they found solace in the hospitality of Max's girlfriend, Kelly, who welcomed them into her Brazilian villa with open arms.

Nestled amidst lush greenery, Kelly's villa offered a sanctuary from the chaotic streets of Sao Paulo. With its sprawling gardens and inviting pool, it provided the perfect retreat for Lando and Amelia to unwind and relax. They spent their days lounging by the pool, sipping caipirinhas, and soaking up the tropical sunshine.

As they watched the locals cycle down the street, their laughter mingling with the vibrant sounds of the city, Lando and Amelia couldn't help but marvel at the beauty of their surroundings. The rhythm of life in São Paulo was intoxicating, and they found themselves drawn to its vibrant energy and diverse culture.

Despite the challenges of adapting to a new environment, Lando and Amelia embraced the opportunity to explore São Paulo and immerse themselves in its rich tapestry of sights and sounds. From sampling exotic fruits at the local markets to dancing the night away at lively samba clubs, they embraced every moment of their Brazilian adventure with a sense of wonder and excitement. And through it all, Kelly's warmth and hospitality made them feel right at home, easing their transition into the vibrant and bustling city.

Amelia's fingers trembled slightly as she dialled Charles's number on the burner phone, her heart racing with a mixture of anxiety and relief. She needed someone she could trust, someone who could help manage her dealership left behind in the rush to escape the UK. Charles had always been reliable, a steady presence in her life, and she hoped he would be willing to lend a hand in her time of need.

After a few tense rings, Charles finally answered, his voice a welcome sound in the midst of uncertainty.

“Amelia? Is everything alright?” He asked, his concern evident in his tone.

Taking a deep breath to steady her nerves, Amelia launched into an explanation of her situation, her words tumbling out in a rush as she recounted the events that had led to their sudden departure from the UK. She explained the urgency of the situation and the need for someone to oversee her dealership in her absence. To her relief, Charles responded with understanding and reassurance, offering his full support and assistance.

“Don't worry, Amelia. I've got everything under control.” He assured her. “I'll take care of your dealership as if it were my own. You focus on staying safe and getting settled wherever you are.”

Gratitude flooded through Amelia as she listened to Charles's words, a weight lifting from her shoulders knowing that her business was in capable hands. With Charles's help, she could finally breathe a little easier, knowing that she had someone she could trust to manage her affairs back home. As they finalised their plans, exchanging details and arranging for ongoing communication, Amelia couldn't help but feel a sense of relief wash over her.

Lando's concern was palpable as he watched Amelia complete the call with Charles, his brow furrowed with worry. It wasn't that he was jealous or distrustful of Charles, but rather, he was deeply anxious about the potential risks of making contact with anyone from their past life in the UK. Every call, every message, every connection was a potential link back to their old identities, and Lando couldn't shake the fear that their enemies might use that against them.

“Amelia, are you sure that was a good idea?” He asked, his voice tinged with concern as he approached her. “I understand you needed help with the dealership, but contacting Charles - it's risky. What if someone traces the call? What if they find us?”

Amelia glanced up at him, her own worry mirrored in her eyes as she considered his words. She knew Lando was right; every interaction they had with their past lives carried the potential for danger. But she couldn't ignore the pressing need for someone to oversee her business in her absence, and Charles was the only person she trusted to handle it.

“I know it's risky, Lando, but I had to do something. Charles is trustworthy, and he's the only one who can help me manage the dealership. I had to take the chance.” She replied, her voice trembling slightly with anxiety.

Lando sighed, running a hand through his hair in frustration. He knew he couldn't fault Amelia for wanting to protect her business and seek help from someone she trusted. But the thought of their enemies closing in on them filled him with a sense of dread that he couldn't shake.

“Alright. But we need to be careful. We can't afford to let our guard down, not even for a moment.” He conceded reluctantly, his gaze softening as he looked at her.

Amelia nodded in agreement, her heart heavy with the weight of their precarious situation. She knew that every decision they made from now on would carry consequences, but she was determined to do whatever it took to protect herself and the ones she loved, even if it meant taking risks along the way.

Amelia's discomfort had been building throughout the scorching Brazilian afternoon, each passing moment seeming to exacerbate her symptoms. Despite Lando's insistence that she take it easy and rest, she found herself unable to find relief, her mind plagued by a persistent unease. The sensation of sweat clinging to her skin, the persistent lightheadedness, and the gnawing emptiness in her stomach seemed to consume her every thought, leaving her feeling weak and depleted.

Relegated to the bed, Amelia tossed and turned, her restlessness only heightening her discomfort. With each shift of her body, her mind raced, searching for answers to the puzzle they found themselves trapped in. It wasn't until she turned onto her side for what felt like the hundredth time that afternoon that the pieces began to click into place, sending a surge of adrenaline coursing through her veins.

With a newfound sense of urgency, Amelia practically leaped out of bed, her movements fueled by a sudden clarity of purpose. Ignoring the protests of her protesting muscles, she hurried out to the terrace where Lando sat, the weight of her revelation pressing down on her like a leaden blanket.

“Baby.” She called out, her voice trembling with a mixture of excitement and apprehension as she approached him.

“Mmh.” Lando hummed in response, his brain numb from the events of the weeks prior.

“The Russells.” She began, her voice tinged with a hint of urgency.

“What about them?” Lando asked, confused, as he turned to look at her leaning against the door frame.

“Steve killed Clyde. If they had evidence my father was involved, surely there must have been evidence against Steve confirming he was the physical hitman.” She continued to explain.

“Yeah?” Lando urged her to continue explaining.

“If they want to continue building a reputation and grow their status in society, that information would derail everything. And, since my father had nothing left to lose, he wouldn't have hesitated to throw Steve under the bus.” Amelia added, breathless as she finished speaking.

Lando's brows furrowed as he processed Amelia's theory. The pieces of the puzzle began to align in his mind, forming a troubling picture of deceit and manipulation.

“So you think the Russells orchestrated everything to protect their own interests?” He asked, his voice tinged with a mixture of disbelief and realisation.

“It's the only explanation that makes sense. They had the means, the motive, and the opportunity.” Amelia nodded, her expression grave. “Nowhere in the documents George gave us did it mention Steve, so they’ve covered their tracks. And, we trusted George before all hell broke loose. Obviously he didn’t think we’d go through with the plan to expose my father.”

“It's a good thing you're so clever, baby.” Lando chuckled as he smiled at her.

Amelia offered a weak smile at Lando's compliment, though the gravity of their situation still weighed heavily on her mind.

“I just hope we can use this knowledge to stay one step ahead of them.” She replied, her voice tinged with determination. Lando reached out to gently squeeze her hand, offering reassurance.

“We will.” He affirmed, his eyes meeting hers with unwavering confidence. Lando's concern deepened as Amelia confessed her worries, but he remained calm, his voice steady as he gently stroked her arm. “Are you feeling any better?”

Amelia shifted uncomfortably, the weight of her unease palpable as she spoke.

“The heat is killing me.” She admitted, her voice tinged with frustration.

“I bet. Maybe we need to just see a doctor anyway, make sure you're really okay.” Lando suggested, his concern evident in his tone.

“If I tell you why I think I'm unwell, you might just lose your mind.” Amelia responded hesitantly, her gaze drifting away for a moment before returning to meet Lando's concerned eyes.

“Tell me.” Lando urged gently, reaching out to grasp her wrist and pull her into his lap.

“I haven't taken my birth control since we left London.” Amelia admitted, her voice barely above a whisper as she spoke the words that had been weighing heavily on her mind.

Lando's brows furrowed in concern as he processed her words.

“You think you're pregnant?” He asked, his voice laced with worry.

“No, but I think my hormones are all over and unbalanced and that's why I feel like shit.” Amelia explained, her voice tinged with frustration and anxiety.

“I see.” Lando murmured, his mind already racing with thoughts of how to alleviate Amelia's discomfort. “I'm sure we can get you the pills you need here too. No need to suffer, baby.”

As Lando delved deeper into his plans to take down the Russells, Amelia's condition continued to deteriorate, leaving her grappling with a range of unsettling symptoms. Each passing day seemed to bring a new wave of discomfort, from persistent nausea to debilitating headaches. At first, she attributed her malaise to common ailments like food poisoning or a bout of seasonal flu, but a nagging voice in the back of her mind urged her to explore every possible explanation. As Lando busied himself with devising a strategy with his father to bring down their adversaries, Amelia found herself consumed by a different kind of battle—one waged against the unknown forces wreaking havoc on her body.

As Lando immersed himself in an intense conversation with his father, Amelia seized the opportunity to slip away unnoticed. With a sense of urgency gnawing at her insides, she made her way to the waiting VW Beetle, the familiar hum of its engine offering a comforting reassurance amidst the chaos swirling within her mind. Each turn of the wheel brought her closer to her destination, the pharmacy that Kelly had pointed her towards—a beacon of hope in the midst of uncertainty.

Throughout their time in Brazil, Kelly had become a trusted confidant for Amelia, offering a sympathetic ear and invaluable guidance in navigating the complexities of their situation. Their bond had blossomed swiftly and effortlessly, forged by shared experiences and a mutual understanding of the challenges they faced. With Kelly's unwavering support, Amelia felt emboldened to confront her fears head-on, determined to find the answers she so desperately sought.

As she pulled up to the pharmacy, a sense of relief washed over her, tempered by a lingering sense of apprehension. Stepping out of the car, she squared her shoulders and made her way inside, the weight of her purpose heavy upon her. With each step, she drew closer to the solution she sought, her resolve unwavering in the face of uncertainty.

Inside, she wasted no time in procuring the necessary supplies, her movements swift and purposeful as she navigated the aisles with practised ease. With the familiar click of the cashier's register, she emerged victorious, clutching the precious cargo in her hands—a lifeline in the storm of uncertainty that threatened to engulf her.

As she made her way back to the waiting Beetle, a sense of determination settled over her, driving her forward with renewed purpose. And as she drove back to the villa, the weight of her burden felt just a little lighter, buoyed by the knowledge that she was not alone in her journey. She had Lando. She always had Lando.

With trembling hands, Amelia carefully made her way back to the villa, her heart pounding in her chest with each passing moment. She couldn't afford for Lando to realise she had slipped away, not when the weight of her discovery threatened to consume her every thought. As she reached the safety of their temporary sanctuary, she hurried upstairs to the bathroom, her footsteps echoing loudly in the silence of the empty villa.

Once inside, she wasted no time in tearing open the box containing the precious test, her fingers fumbling with the packaging in her haste. With the test in hand, she laid it carefully on the counter, her eyes scanning the instructions repeatedly as if searching for some hidden reassurance within their words. Each step felt like an eternity as she followed the prescribed process, her mind consumed by a whirlwind of anxious thoughts and fervent prayers.

With a deep breath, she steadied herself and allowed the moment to unfold, her gaze fixed unwaveringly on the white stick before her. As she waited for the telltale result to materialise, her mind raced with a myriad of emotions, each one vying for dominance in the tumult of her inner turmoil. She couldn't help but feel a pang of apprehension at the prospect of what the test might reveal—a single moment poised to irrevocably alter the course of their lives.

In those agonisingly long minutes, she found herself grappling with the weight of their circumstances, the reality of their situation casting a shadow over her hopes and dreams. She knew that Lando desired nothing more than to start a family of their own, and she shared in that longing with every fibre of her being. But now, as she stood on the precipice of uncertainty, she couldn't help but wonder if the timing was right, if their fragile existence could withstand the added strain of parenthood.

As the seconds ticked by with excruciating slowness, she paced the confines of the bathroom, her nerves frayed and her heart pounding in her ears. With each passing moment, the pressure mounted, the weight of her anticipation threatening to suffocate her in its relentless grip. And then, finally, as the three minutes elapsed, she dared to steal a glance at the test before her, her breath catching in her throat as she braced herself for the revelation that awaited.

“Lando!” Amelia exclaimed as she stood staring at the test on the counter. Her voice was panicked and immediately caught Lando’s attention. He waited a moment before hearing her call for him again. “Lan!”

As Lando reached the top of the stairs, his heart raced with a mix of concern and anticipation. He found Amelia standing in the doorway of the bathroom, her eyes wide with disbelief as she stared at something on the counter. Without a word, Lando rushed to her side, his own anxiety mounting with each passing second.

“What’s wrong?” He asked urgently, his voice laced with worry as he followed her gaze to the test lying on the counter.

His breath caught in his throat as he took in the sight, his mind racing with a whirlwind of emotions. Amelia turned to him, her expression a mixture of fear and uncertainty.

“I took a test.” She murmured, her voice barely above a whisper as she reached out to grasp his hand in hers.

Lando's heart skipped a beat as he processed her words, his mind reeling at the implications of what she was saying. Without hesitation, he stepped closer, his eyes never leaving hers as he gently squeezed her hand in a silent gesture of support.

“Okay.” He replied softly, his voice tinged with a hint of apprehension. “Is it positive?”

“Uh huh.” She whispered, studying his demeanour as he picked up the test.

“Wowie.” He echoed, his voice barely above a whisper as he looked back down at the test in his hand.

Amelia couldn't help but mirror his smile, relief flooding through her at his reaction. Despite the uncertainty of their situation, she couldn't deny the flicker of hope that ignited within her at the thought of starting a family with Lando. The thought brought silent tears to her eyes, trickling down her cheeks.

Seeing the tears trickling down Amelia's cheeks, Lando's grin softened into a tender smile. Without hesitation, he reached out to gently wipe away her tears, his touch warm and reassuring against her skin.

“Hey, why the tears, huh?” He murmured softly, his voice laced with concern and affection.

Amelia sniffled, struggling to find the words to express the tumult of emotions swirling inside her. She reached out to grasp Lando's hand, holding it tightly as she met his gaze with watery eyes.

“I don't know.” She admitted, her voice trembling slightly. "I guess it's just the timing with everything happening.”

Lando's expression softened further at her words, his thumb gently stroking her cheek as he leaned in to press a tender kiss to her forehead.

“Listen to me.” He whispered, his voice barely above a whisper. “I know things might seem scary right now, but we'll figure it out, okay? Together. We've faced tough times before, and we've always come out stronger on the other side. Now it’s you, me, and peanut in this together.”

Amelia's heart swelled with love as she gazed up at Lando, her fears slowly melting away in the warmth of his embrace. Amelia chuckled through her tears at Lando's endearing choice of nickname.

“Peanut? Really?” She teased gently, her voice still laced with emotion. Lando grinned, his eyes sparkling with affection as he gently caressed her stomach.

“Well, I bet it's still small, no?” He quipped playfully, his tone warm and teasing. Amelia nodded, a soft smile tugging at her lips as she leaned into his touch.

“That's true.” She agreed softly, feeling a surge of warmth and love enveloping her heart.

Lando's grin softened into a tender smile as he gazed down at her, his eyes filled with adoration.

“Oh, honey, you're going to be the best Mumma to our peanut.” He murmured, his voice filled with unwavering confidence and love.

Amelia's laughter mixed with tears as she nestled into Lando's embrace, feeling overwhelmed with joy and gratitude.

“A baby, Lan.” She whispered, her voice trembling with emotion.

Lando tightened his arms around her, holding her close as he pressed a gentle kiss to the top of her head.

“Our baby. A little bit of you, a little bit of me, and a whole lot of magic.” He murmured softly, his words filled with awe and wonder. Amelia sniffled, her heart swelling with love as she looked up at him through watery eyes.

“Shut up.” She teased playfully, her lips curling into a watery smile as she reached up to wipe away her tears.

Lando kissed her gently and pressed her against the counter before lifting her up onto it to sit. He lifted her shirt and kissed her stomach under her belly button.

“Hey, little baby.” Lando whispered against her stomach. Amelia giggled as Lando showered her stomach with kisses, feeling a rush of warmth and love envelop her.

“Stop, you're too cute.” She protested, but her heart swelled with affection at his tender words.

“It's your Dad here.” Lando continued, his voice filled with adoration. “Be good to Mumma while you're in there so she can take good care of you when you're ready to be in the world with us.”

Amelia's smile softened, touched by Lando's words, but a hint of doubt lingered in her mind.

“Lan, baby, it could have been a false positive.” She reminded him gently, her hand resting on his cheek. Lando brushed off her concerns with a dismissive wave of his hand.

“Oh, hush. Let me have a moment with my peanut.” He insisted, pressing a soft kiss to her lips.

[docgold13]

Batman: The Animated Series - Paper Cut-Out Portraits and Profiles

Two-Face

The one-time district attorney of Gotham, Harvey Dent suffered from a dissociative identity disorder wherein his angry and aggressive thoughts and feelings were all suppressed from consciousness and reemerged in a whole distinct persona.  The angry and subdued sides of Harvey jockeyed against one another for control and he worked with a psychotherapist to better contend with this difficulty.  When the gangster Rupert Thorne got ahold of his therapy notes and blackmailed Dent, however, he snapped.  The resulting scuffle led to a terrible explosion where the entire left side of Dent’s face was horribly scarred.   

The trauma resulted in the formation of a third persona within Dent, a personality that would remain largely dominant for the rest of his life.  This new persona was known as 'Two-Face' and was obsessed with duality and navigating the chaos of the world by embracing the role of chance.  

The silver dollar Dent had kept as a lucky charm had also been marred on one side.  Two-Face took to flipping the coin so to make all major decisions.  The unmarked side suggested a restrained or passive action, whereas the marred side indicated aggression and violence.  

Seeking revenge on Rupert Thorne, Two-Face began his own crime-spree, hitting all of Thorne’s operations that were in some manner or fashion related to the number two.  He had recruited the twin enforcers Min and Max to act as his henchmen.  

Thorne used Dent’s fiancé, Grace Lamont, to track him down whereas Batman was able to decipher Two-Face’s obsession with the number two so to find him.  It led to a climactic battle where Two-Face finally had Thorne at his mercy.  He flipped his coin to decide whether or not to execute Thorne when Batman tossed out a large handful of similar coins, disrupting the process.  Unable to make a decision purely on chance, Two-Face decompensated and fell to his knees.  

Dent was remanded to the care of Arkham Asylum.  Various treatments were employed that tried to bring Harvey Dent back to the surface, but none would have longterm success.  Two-Face remained in control and would go on to be a major threat to Gotham and reoccurring nemesis of The Batman.  

The late, great Richard Moll provided the voice for Two-Face, with this iteration of Harvey Dent first appearing in the seventeenth episode of the first season of Batman: The Animated Series, ‘Two-Face Part One.’  

[abhishekavps96-blog]

Everyone throws around the word ‘passion’ without understanding its true meaning. We’ve been given a unique way to focus on a task, with complete dedication—locked in like a missile. That predator way of thinking is sports. In this world, you must either be a predator or risk becoming prey, so everyone develops a unique set of survival skills. Some are naturally gifted, while others adapt out of necessity. This evolution stems from need, not passion. Passion means honing a unique skill set until it consumes your entire focus. They are called apex predators. Just like Lewis Hamilton and Max Verstappen—two very different driving styles, but they are the only ones who could break simulations and outperform the car. There are very few who could do this.

From the legendary 2021 season to the great qualifying battles of 2022, Max has excelled in F1 in 2023, with 2024 bringing real heat to the competition. In 2026, Max and Kimi Antonelli should join Mercedes. Kimi is Mercedes’ answer to Oscar. Now, new talents are emerging ,  the Simulation generation. Some could argue otherwise, but it’s  a really talented pool of drivers. Oscar’s performance accelerated Kimi’s entry, but Kimi’s speed ensures that if the setup suits him, he can outperform anyone, leading the team to build the car around him. But if Max decides to join Mercedes in 2026, there would be chaos . The number of meetings, , lawyers,  corporations and contracts agreements involved  would be massive. Kimi is skilled, but with Max, they get a 3-time World Champion, as it stands , the Championship of 2024 is also led by Max. Let’s wait until the end. They get to experience a generational talent, a proven driver who always finds car’s limits and then some. Max is the man, and he is also not old—very young, with a lot of career ahead. Then Kimi might get a firsthand learnings from a World Champion, however you may want to take it. It’s all for Max’s to lose, like Hamilton in 2022 with George Russel. But 2026 should be Max and Kimi, Lewis and Charles, another solid pairing. Arguably the quickest driver on his day in qualifying, able to maintain blistering pace when setup and strategy work—and sometimes manages to work it out even without them. And then you have a 7-time champion of the world. One of the greatest ever to do it and shows no sign of slowing down. Still the driver to beat on his day, no contest.

Lewis dominated, I would say, even in McLaren. Lewis was lethal. You see him in your mirrors, and you approach him differently. Aggressive. He has learned to control his aggression, and now it is coming back. And with the 2026 rule change, Lewis is one of the few masters remaining of old-school cars, without DRS. Very intelligent. So is Max. Very sharp, very dependable driver. He doesn’t make mistakes too often now, and even if he does go over the limit, he most often comes back better in the next race. Max is aggressive. He is toning it down and focusing on the craft. His craft is beyond exceptional. Rain master, very adaptable, he could get as close to the indicated lap time consistently, and sometimes even surpass that.

McLaren will have Piastri go to Red Bull; McLaren doesn’t suit him. He is the best driver on the grid right now, but he needs to manage his tire wear, which he is able to match with Lando, which is impressive. Oscar is the Kimi Räikkönen of our generation, in terms of racecraft. All or nothing. Very aggressive, very calm, keeps everything under control, even when the car tries to slip away from him once in a while. Red Bull needs Oscar. McLaren needs someone to play second fiddle to Lando Norris. He is where the money is at. Mark Webber’s plan is to make Oscar ,the Australian World Champion, and he needs a team like Red Bull to develop the car around him. To get a 2nd Red Bull driver to match and get the championship points. Red Bull doesn’t budge if the championship is not at stake, like 2023, where Max alone racked up both of them with Checo in 2nd. It was just a flex. With Checo likely retiring in 2025, Max could move to Mercedes, Oscar to Red Bull, and McLaren would then seek a second driver. Lewis vs. Charles vs. Max vs. Kimi vs. Oscar vs. Lando, and our headmaster of F1—Fernando Alonso. But you still cannot beat him without breaking a sweat. He’s arguably the greatest driver, despite his history of joining the wrong teams, he rarely makes a mistake on track. The most gifted driver, with the likes of Jim Clark, Ayrton Senna, and the greatest of the greats. Still young, still hungry for that one drive that F1 owes him at this point. He should do something as quick as he drives (I mean really fast) to get something done at AM.

Ferrari is cooking, Mercedes is cooking, McLaren has already cooked, Red Bull is cooking for a feast because when Red Bull dominates, they come purely to rewrite history books and add some extra pages to it. Williams is cooking. Alex Albon is a very quick, very aggressive driver. His Williams stint is legendary. Then Carlos Sainz, he has always improved wherever he went. He is the guy with the most experience in adapting to different styles and design philosophies of the car than anyone on the grid. Still very young, very quick, very adaptable, reliable driver. Audi is cooking. No one knows for sure what Audi might bring to the table. If they could bring Sebastian Vettel to drive for them, that would be legendary. But it would take a lot to convince a 4-time World Champion, who, as I could see, is itching to race because the racing is so good. No true racer can miss that, even if it is for a new team. Sebastian, when his car is under him, no one could beat him. His Red Bull stint is legendary, but so does his Ferrari stint till 2017. 2018 and 2019 were tough, but he had his memorable moments and few wins and podiums. Sebastian’s talent truly visible again in 2022, COTA USA GP, where Vettel overtakes K-Mag, of all people, round the outside, on the last lap of the GP, and with such aggression. No wonder he wants to come back. The Aston Martin stint was too much effort with too little points. He needed to cool down, chill out, then come back and show why Vettel is ranked among the greats. People with no knowledge of F1 quote that one clip from Alonso about him. Vettel has the greatest career of them all after Michael Schumacher; no one has seen such domination. From 2004 to 2007, there were 3 different champions in the span of 4 years, but when Red Bull, Adrian Newey, Horner, and Vettel cooked, there was 1 champion for 4 years. Great driver, great for PR, very good business-wise, very skilled, knowledgeable, kind, and humorous German boy, who wins like a well-oiled machine, like a swiss watch, very precise, but he has broken simulations and exceeded the car’s performance in more races than I could remember. Sometimes, it was just Vettel in the Red Bull , doing the impossible if he gets the right environment . Audi would do anything to provide that. With him and Binotto, it’s tough, but it might just work out. Alpine is cooked, it’s done, it is toasted. Haas was onto nothing up until 2022, but Komatsu-san is making a very delicate meal, and we see Haas pop up in top 10 in qualifying. With the rule changes, Haas could fight because their team principal is one of the most experienced engineers on the grid. Been here since 2003. That era is coming back. Ocon’s experience and Bearman, who is also a very talented, proven driver, would make a cool pairing. Ollie Bearman could feel the heat, but so could Ocon. Strong lineup.

But everything written above could completely fall apart. However, if there’s one thing that remains constant, it’s that everyone involved in Formula 1 is deeply passionate about the sport—otherwise, they leave or get replaced. Passion is the unwavering belief that you still have a chance, and the determination that won’t let you give up. 

[myimaginarywonderland]

While it is easy to just chalk up this boring season to the Verstappen dominance, I think to truly understand why everyone is not enjoying it we need to dive deeper.

I definitely think the fact that RedBull has such a fast car is the first step to just less enjoyment. Especially when you have other series where there isn't a dominant team let alone driver, you kind of sometimes which F1 would be like that again which just seems impossible with the modern regulations. It already adds the "well this team will win anyway unless something bad happens to them."

Which immediately brings me to the other issue that's reliability. I honest to god feel like this is the season were cars are the most reliable. Almost all DNFs that happened this season were caused by drives error in one way or another and there's rarely any technical DNFs in comparison to say for example 2017/2018.

Now we come to the problem that is just DNFs in general. There's also rarely DNFs this season because drivers don't make errors that result in race finishing scenarios anymore.

To build onto this, there's definitely less chaos because of DNFs. It feels like almost all the teams agree with the same strategy unless it's a back maker team making a gamble and therefore there's no unpredictability anymore in any scenario that might happen after something like a car stopping next to the track.

Now we move onto a previous point. While there was a winning team you would at least have unpredictability. 2020, which honestly was a massive dominant season for Mercedes where there was mostly Lewis winning races still saw 3 other people winning that weren't equiped with the Mercedes and 4 if we count Val. Why? Because Mercedes messed up or something went wrong in Qualy. With RedBull (kudos to them) there's basically no one who even believes they have any room for error. Like they are such a well oiled machine that you can't even see them with Max making a mistake.

Another huge problem is also undoubtedly the calendar. We have had so many tracks where qualifying basically determines the finishing order because there's such a low possibility for overtaking that you don't expect really much changes. It adds another layer of finality before the race has even started.

To add onto that we have to talk about the giant gaps between the teams. While yeah RedBull is definitely dominant, there are also just such big gaps between all the other teams. Alex said it before that basically there's just no way to get points for anyone that isn't in Aston, RedBull, Ferrari or Mercedes because those teams are guaranteed the top 8 if everything goes right. And yet between them there is also right now rarely a fight because the tracks just suit some cars better which means it's always another layer of "Right, this will be a RedBull + Nando podium" or "Right, this is a RedBull+ Lewis podium." The gap between the top 4 is already turning out bigger and then from there on it's just another huge gaps. There's barely any fight between midfield teams and the backmakers are most likely also just obvious and nowhere close to any fight. The field is so spread out often that even if the tracks allowed overtaking it's basically impossible due to the large team gaps.

Another thing that has become quiet prominent is the DRS train which often times just means even if a car does have more pace, there's just no way for it to overtake because it is a hindrance basically impossible to pass. I truly do think this is more prominent this season and it's so interesting think about why but that's not the point. The point is it poses another problem that makes enjoyment dimed.

And lastly a huge problem I have found myself having is also the coverage of the race. Sometimes it truly does feel like there is nothing that we are shown or the lack of communication from comms leaves you an entire race wondering why a driver is in his position because it's not something deemed replay worthy and the commentators are more focused to make a race seem interesting than actually keeping you update on everything. It makes it hard to follow and I can't imagine coming in as a new fan sometimes because it truly can seem like there's a lack of communications.

[alyjojo]

Love Reading 🛐 - June 2024 - Aries

Singles:

Who is Coming In: The Devil & Knight of Wands

Regarding: The Hanged Man

Long-Term Potential: 2 Pentacles

I don’t really have to clarify, I will but…this is a player. They want to get you in bed, and then leave you hanging, stringing you along. Cupid’s Arrow seems to show you having grown feelings for this person, and maybe they’ve told you what you wanted to hear…I’m not thinking they feel anything too deeply though. Surface level. To clarify, 2 Swords rev is not confused, they’re not in two minds about anything and they know exactly what they’re doing. This isn’t someone dumb, they’re actually showing up as quite intelligent - they’re just not in it for the long haul. For whatever reason - this doesn’t say why.

Long term potential is you still wondering if you should say something, maybe a little “how are you” message, something cute - because underneath the surface you feel this deep lack of…self-worth. Used. You want to feel chosen, want to know why they disconnected (because they will). Or they have already, and you just have this person on the brain. There is no full explanation here, all different reasons, and I don’t think it matters. They made you feel like you weren’t good enough. Fuck the why. Why would you want that in your life, what do you have to prove? The answer is nothing & The Hanged Man shows once you see things from a different perspective (one where you didn’t deserve this crap from anyone, or don’t), you’ll see things much differently with this person. What makes you want to chase someone like this? They make raising the bar look easy ❤️ And when that one does come in, it’s going to surprise you, you won’t see them coming.

Messages:

- Living My Life

- Adrenaline Junkie

CUPID’S ARROW 💘

- Have Faith

- Love is Coming

- Surprise Invitation

- Struck by Love

You are a child of the universe 💫

Signs you may be dealing with:

Capricorn & Pisces

Couples:

Them: 2 Wands rev, 7 Cups, Queen of Pentacles

Regarding: 9 Swords & 8 Swords

More than anything, your person has an addict’s energy. Stressed to the max at the thought of having to quit, maybe they are trying to quit or you want them to. They have an obsessive mind, and that could be some underlying reason of why they might turn to substances (and/or work) in the first place, as a way of self-medicating, more or less. This person places self-worth on the tangible & material, what they provide to any situation, may be a workaholic as well as some other sort of “holic”, this is an addictive personality overall. Doesn’t matter what it is, they’re obsessive, and their mind races 1000 miles an hour over whatever the thing is, every little worry and fear dominating their life - they probably have massive anxiety - that’s what I’m describing. If they’re not providing something, they’re feeling not worthy of love. They do love you, very deeply and without judgment, if anything, they’re extremely hard on themselves. This could also be an outside person in their lives that they care for and don’t know how to help, and all of this worry and upset is regarding that/them instead. They’re a helper, a worker, a fixer, and some things can’t be fixed. It’s out of our control. Tell that to a fixer and *cue meltdown*

For someone, it’s possible this person has/had another interested person, and they’re terrified of sabotaging themselves by doing something they can’t come back from. Alcohol may be involved. If they’ve indulged in any way, they regret it. It may be unlike them, or they’re more aware of their feelings - King of Cups at the bottom is very much in love. They don’t want to be addicted anymore, to whatever the issue is between you. Or they want to help someone else they’re close to, friend/family member, etc. I’m seeing them not move forward, regardless of what this is about, and it’s because of so much mental chaos over what to do, how, and everything else involved. If they want to quit, that’s true, but they have no idea how. Or how to help someone else they care about do the same thing. If you’re the one dealing with or doing these things, your partner is literally losing their mind over these antics and it’s hurt them deeply, like they’re being hurt and there’s nothing they can even do about it but be upset, work, be upset, work, can’t sleep, can’t relax, it’s neverending.

Messages:

- Addicted 🍷

- Obsessed with Work

BLOWING KISS 😘

- Unconditional Love

- Giving & Receiving

- Fairness & Love

- Affection Returned

Don’t just do something, sit there!

You: 8 Cups rev, 10 Wands rev, 9 Pentacles

Regarding: 3 Pentacles

You’re returning to a situation you’ve already called, it’s dead and buried, you’re done and the cycle is closed out - never going back to this shit again. 9 Pentacles. You were perfectly fine with this decision when you made it, but someone is apologizing and you’re headed right back into the bs. Or you have already. Could be switched too, because you have the Childish card and Page of Cups rev clarifying, which is the same thing. Immature & childish energy. Someone may be giving you another chance because you’re apologizing, saying how much you love someone, yada yada. Could be your person too. Or someone outside of you both, family, friend, neighbor, whoever. Addictions are involved in some way.

Especially if it’s family, it could cause issues between you and your person because you’re both on the side of logic and then there’s a chaotic person in the mix. They’re family, we love them. Lots of people have advice for that but idc, I can see you love them - or your person does, and the desire to help is there. Especially if this is like, your person’s sister. You were DONE but they are not, and you may act out in a way that’s…not very mature, and could cause your person even more stress tbh, but ultimately you’re keeping your mouth shut because you support your person. Can’t save them, whoever it is, but you’re not about to be the asshole in the room either, ya know? If you’re the one with your tail between your legs returning, maybe check your motives, because of Mask. What are you hiding? You could be being blindly supportive and keeping your mouth shut to what you actually want, feel or think.

Messages:

- I LOVE YOU ❤️

- Childish 🍼

MASK 🎭

- Hiding True Feelings

- Pretending & Delude

- Gaslight & Personify

Decide your vibe.

Mutual: 7 Wands rev, 4 Swords, 6 Wands

Regarding: Ace of Wands

Basically advice, you both realize there’s a lack of control where this situation is concerned, and the only real thing you can do is surrender and wait for things to heal or develop naturally, with time. The advice is “drop your defenses”, or weapons as I heard them, against each other most likely. For many this is someone’s family, and it’s no use fighting a lost cause yanno? Not the addict, that’s not the lost cause. Fighting someone that wants to help them. If you are popping off about how you feel regarding them working too much, that will come out, and they have no excuse. It’s known. The desire in both of you is to make an unstable situation stable again, because you love each other. The only thing that can do anything in this connection is continued support & love - the rest will either work itself out, heal, or continue developing because the Wheel shows it’s not even done yet. The love between you is real and that’s what matters. Both of you may feel angry at the other from a single-minded place but should try approaching things as more of a team, you are each other’s priority - 2 Cups. The future is nothing to sneeze at, it looks really good. If someone outside of you both is going to rehab - that could help. Some kind of steps are being taken to heal, and also, you have to accept that you can’t make them. For many of you. Or they can’t make you. It looks very positive.

CLOCK 🕰️

- Needing Time

- Cycles & Takes Time

- Time to Heal

- Progressing

Meditate! 🧘‍♂️

Signs you may be dealing with:

Gemini, Pisces, Capricorn, Scorpio, Aquarius & Leo

[fahrni]

Saturday Morning Coffee

Good morning from Charlottesville, Virginia! ☕️

We finally got a bit of snow this week! Temperatures have remained low all week and we got a bit more snow Friday morning. Lovin it! ❄️

We have our grandkids this weekend so this post will be abbreviated.

NOTE: Super abbreviated. I’m skipping my usual commentary. I hope you enjoy the links.

Benjojo

Since people are now posting social media updates on a system that is a lot more decentralised than twitter once was, I was interested in knowing where these instances are hosted to see just how decentralised it really was!

Corey Atad • Defector

I Can’t Stop Watching ‘Tenet,’ And I Finally Know Why

Molly White

Migrating from Substack to self-hosted Ghost: the details

Dominic Gates • The Seattle Times

When the Boeing 737 MAX 9’s side blew out explosively on Alaska Airlines Flight 1282 Friday evening, a 15-year-old high school student was in the window seat in the row directly ahead, his shoulder beside the edge of the gaping hole.

DAVID SEGAL • The New York Times

The guys in Bad Dog, a folkie duo from Washington, D.C., weren’t hoping to get rich off the album they recorded this summer. David Post and Craig Blackwell have been devoted amateurs for decades, and they’re long past dreams of tours and limos. Mostly they wanted a CD to give away at a house party in December.

Jacob Stern • The Atlantic

When the writer Ryan Broderick joined Substack in 2020, it felt, he told me, like an “oasis.” The email-newsletter platform gave him a direct line to his readers. He did not have to deal with the chaos and controversy of social media. Substack was far from perfect, he knew—COVID conspiracies flourished, and on at least one occasion, trans writers on the platform were doxxed and harassed—but compared with the rest of the internet, he found the conditions tolerable. Until they weren’t. On Wednesday, he sent out an edition of his newsletter titled “It’s Time to Leave Substack.”

[Ron Amadeo • Ars Technica] (https://arstechnica.com/gadgets/2024/01/first-streaming-only-nfl-playoff-game-breaks-records-with-23-million-viewers/)

NFL fans weren’t particularly happy about having to sign up for some random streaming service to watch a playoff game, but that didn’t stop many people from actually signing up, with Nielsen logging 23 million average streaming viewers for the game.

Chance Miller, Benjamin Mayo, and Ben Schoon • 9to5Mac

Supreme Court upholds Apple vs. Epic ruling, Apple must allow app developers to link to other payment systems

[bleeding-star-heart]

Holy shit you're so right. I mean, the narrative insists Chantry brother! Sebastian is the 'better' choice for his character. What with him being more inclined to be a priest if you max out Friendship as opposed to Rivalry. But I've come to believe that Prince of Starkhaven! Sebastian is actually a much better choice for him. 1) Sebastian has SO much more potential to do good as Prince than he does as a Chantry brother. It's made clear that the Chantry is female-dominated. As a man, Sebastian cannot rise to the higher echelons of management; he can't even become head of the Kirkwall Chantry! Whereas as a prince, Sebastian has the ability to change and enact laws that could benefit AN ENTIRE CITY-STATE. And it's quite probable that Sebastian would at least try to. In his short story, he says he was 'kind to the elves', meaning that he believes they should be treated well. AND he's the only one of Anders's opponents to actually ASK Anders why he believes what he believes. (He doesn't agree with it, but the rest of Anders's ideological opponents don't even bother to ask the question).

2) The Chantry is not the squeaky-clean organization it frames itself as. If the Chantry were a real-life religion, it would be mired in controversy. The Exalted Marches and the fall of the Dales ALONE would earn the ire of most of the left. Then there's the historical revisionism, how it excludes all non-humans from the priesthood and only allows a certain gender to rise through the ranks. As for the mages...there would be MASSIVE protests outside the Circles DAILY.

While it may have helped Sebastian become a more responsible, less self-centered person, by DA2 there's nothing left to teach him. He's no longer an irresponsible cad; in fact, he's overcorrected when it comes to his sexuality. While he might genuinely spend his life doing good works in the Chantry, at the same time he has to tacitly endorse the extremely problematic things the Chantry does. And since its treatment of elves is one of those problematic things...Sebastian could end up in a situation where he either has to be loyal to the Chantry or kind to the elves. But he can't do both.

3) While Elthina MIGHT be a model of certain virtues, she's ALSO a model of incredibly dangerous passivity. In DA2, Elthina tries to persuade away from vengeance, which is all well and good. And in the short story, she also modeled compassion, understanding, and genuine piety. But in DA2 proper? She mostly tends to model the vice of sloth-by which I mean she passively lets Meredith perform a coup and Petrice stir up chaos with the Qunari. Both of which are pretty much the OPPOSITE of what a religious leader should do. I think we can all agree religious leaders should DISCOURAGE greed (Meredith) and wrath (Petrice) among their followers.

I don't think Sebastian needs to learn to become a passive person who does nothing in the face of injustice or wickedness. Not even the Chant of Light thinks that's a good idea. After all, there is literally a verse in the Chant which says: Blessed are they who stand before The corrupt and the wicked and do not falter. Blessed are the peacekeepers, the champions of the just. But 'standing before the corrupt and wicked' is NOT what Elthina models. Elthina doesn't stand before the wicked; she steps aside for them. All in all, returning to Starkhaven is better for him because rather than stagnate, he has the ability to apply the GOOD principles she taught him on a larger scale. He can use his newfound sense of responsibility to do right by Starkhaven's people. And while there's nothing wrong with celibacy and/or asexuality, Sebastian is explicitly stated NOT to be asexual. In the past, he slept around; he's only celibate now out of a sense of duty. As the prince of Starkhaven, he has the opportunity to find a healthy way to express his sexuality; a way that works for him. To be chaste, promiscuous, or somewhere in between because he WANTS to be. As opposed to celibacy that is DEMANDED of him.

To sum up: Elthina has, by DA2 proper, become an unintentional Mother Gothel to Sebastian.

Dear fandom,

Since you are all so invested in comparing Dragon Age characters to Disney-movie tropes, please consider the following:

Tangled, but with Sebastian as Rapunzel and Elthina as mother Gothel.

Why, you ask?

Well, if you paid just an ounce attention to Sebastian’s story-arc, surely, you too must have realized that each and every interaction between Sebastian and Elthina is basically a prolongued rendition of Elthina singing “Mother knows best!”

Thank you

[shes-homeward-bound]

Crash and Burn | Chapter 7

Summary: You’re the first female driver to compete in the Formula 1 World Championship in decades and it’s your second year of navigating through a male-dominated sport. Your talent and drive to prove yourself made you vicious on the grid. Your seemingly unshakeable confidence was never questioned- until a certain Ferrari driver made you crash and burn.

Pairing: Carlos Sainz Jr. x Reader

Chapters: 7/?

Warnings: swearing, drinking, angst

Word Count: 4.4k

posted: 08/23/2022

masterlist

A/N: angst, angst, angst. It’s here y’all. I hope you enjoy the chapter and feel free to comment! Remember that this is fiction. 

Chapter 7:

Hot water cascades down your body as you scrub all remnants of champagne down the drain. You were finally calming down from the high of getting a podium when you remembered how strange Carlos was acting. You had just finished the driver’s interviews and you kept missing Carlos. You would see him from afar but every time you’d try to go him, you’d get whisked away to another reporter. You and Anna had just stepped into Aston Martin hospitality when you saw Carlos Senior and Reyes waiting for you. 

“Y/n!” said Reyes as she gave you a big hug. “Congratulations, my dear!”

Carlos Senior pats you in the back. “That was some of the best driving I have ever seen, Driver of the Day was well deserved.”

You thank and hug them tight. Carlos’s parents were ecstatic that the two of you were together. Even if you had just started your relationship, Reyes and Carlos Sr. were more than happy to accept you into the family. You were just about to ask them if they knew where their son was when you see your boyfriend in the corner of your eye. 

Letting go of his parents, you see Carlos with a sheepish grin on his face. “I’ve been looking for you!” you said as you hugged him tightly. You leaned in for a kiss but remembered that you were still in public. 

“I’m so sorry, I was trying to get to you but it was chaos and I kept getting pushed back. But enough about me, I’m so proud of you for getting that podium today,” said Carlos.

You were about to tell him he could’ve approached you during the interviews when your eyes went wide. You were so excited about your podium that you forgot all about you, Daniel, and Carlos spinning off the track and his DNF. “Oh my goodness, Carlos! Your DNF, I’m so sorry.”

Carlos shrugged, trying to act like his DNF didn’t bother him. “It sucks but what matters is that we are both okay.”

Not even bothering to check that no one was looking, you entwined your fingers as you pulled his hand towards your chest. You had gotten into a habit of doing this whenever you felt like you both needed comfort. You remember him smiling down at you but it felt like he wasn’t telling you something. 

You get out of the shower and do your routine as you got ready for the party Max was hosting. Smoothing down the fabric of your blue cocktail dress, you tried to hype yourself up for this party. Sure, Carlos was acting a little strange but you weren’t going to let that consume your whole evening. You went from P20 to P3, you deserved to let loose and enjoy yourself. 

By the time you, Anna, and her fiance arrived, the rooftop bar was filled with drivers, F1 employees, and celebrities. The music thumped as you made a beeline towards the bar and ordered drinks. With cocktails in hand, you weaved your way through the crowd to where Carlos and the boys were. To your surprise, you were greeted with a slightly wet kiss on the cheek by a tipsy Carlos. 

“Carlos! They might see us!” you whispered. 

Before he said anything, Daniel who was also tipsy, hugged you and gave you a big smooch on the cheek. “Awwww it’s okay. We’ll all just give you a kiss because our little podium winner deserves it.” 

You roll your eyes at Daniel before shooting his girlfriend an apologetic look. She just laughed and waved it off. Feeling the music, you drag your friends to the middle of the dance floor where you all went crazy. As you danced the night away, you had your fair share of drinks. You wanted to be buzzed, not blacked out drunk but you could see that Carlos had other plans. He kept knocking back drinks like it was nothing. You’ve seen Carlos party before and he knew how to have a good time but this was excessive. Even when drunk, Carlos would somehow still be poised but what you saw was Carlos truly unhinged. He danced with everyone and got in a particularly funny slow dance with one of the Red Bull mechanics. There was one part where he had you sit on his shoulders as he paraded you around the rooftop. You were so embarrassed but Carlos insisted it was your “victory parade”. The moment Carlos tried to take over the DJ’s booth was when you and the other drivers intervened. Lando and Charles knew that he was going to reach his limit so they lead Carlos to the bar to drink water. 

The rest of the boys also opted to go on water breaks or go find other friends. This left you and Pierre alone in the corner of the dance floor. Ever since you were a rookie, Pierre made sure you would always have a dance partner. It was nice spending time with Pierre, ever since you started dating Carlos you barely had time to hang out with him. You laughed as Pierre spun you around, it didn’t match with the music but it was always a fun thing that you did. As you steadied yourself, you felt a familiar grip on your waist. You look up to see that it was Carlos looking down at you with this weird mix of emotions. Was it jealousy? Anger? 

“You’re back! Did you drink water?”

Carlos’s mood had somehow changed from fun and joyful to pouty and dramatic. So dramatic that Carlos was giving his longtime friend Pierre, the most murderous glare. In his extremely drunken state, he saw how happy you were dancing with Pierre and he did not like the sight of it. First of all, his Sunday was ruined by his DNF and now he was watching his friend try to steal his girlfriend. Carlos isn’t violent but that didn’t mean he wasn’t having strong feelings. 

Carlos placed his hand on his friend’s shoulder. “Mate, I see what you’re doing here,” he said as his words slurred together.

Lando and Charles inched closer to intervene. They had no idea what to expect because they’d never seen Carlos this drunk.

“I was just dancing with y/n. She’s just a friend, nothing more,” said Pierre as calmly as he could. 

You nod as you wedged yourself between them. “Babe, you know Pierre and I are just friends.”

Carlos looks back and forth between you and just like nothing, he drops his hand from Pierre and hugs you. “Okay, I believe you.”

As he let you go, Carlos started swaying and staggering. You grabbed his arm to steady him as Lando does the same on the other side. You glance at your watch and see that it was already 3 in the morning.

 “I think it’s time to call it a night. Are you guys still crashing in Carlos’s place?” 

Lando and Charles nod. Since Carlos’s apartment was closer than Charles’, they planned to sleep at Carlos’s place just in case they were too drunk. You apologize to Pierre about Carlos but he just waved his hand letting you know he was okay. Anna didn’t drink so she ended up driving you and the boys off at Carlos’s place. All of Carlos’s energy had burned off at the party and he was now sprawled out in the backseat with his head on your lap. You played with his hair as you replayed the events of the night. Carlos was so inebriated and acted so strange after the race that you knew it had everything to do with his back-to-back DNFs. But there was something else he wasn’t telling you and you couldn’t figure it out. You peered down to see Carlos also lost in his muddled thoughts.

While you were contemplating what Carlos was thinking, Carlos was in mental agony. The phrase “drunk thoughts are sober words” were true, except in this case it was “drunk thoughts are sober words even his drunk self was too scared to admit”. He knew he was beyond lucky to have you in his life but the outlandish idea of you affecting his racing might be true. Carlos thought back to the last couple of weeks and realized every time he had messed up, it was somehow always connected to you. In Australia, he had a bad qualifying and he was sure it was because he was so worried about your crash with Latifi. Then this weekend he was so concerned for you after he saw your car on fire that it may have been the reason for his bad qualifying. His body gave an involuntary shiver when memories flashed of his car making a beeline to your sidepod before he swerved away last second. Maybe my bosses were right thought Carlos, maybe you were affecting him.

*******

You and the other drivers arrived at the apartment and stumbled straight for the kitchen. After a hard day of racing and a night full of partying, you were all starved and craved something greasy. You and Charles took it upon yourselves to scrounge up whatever was in Carlos’s fridge and cook it. Not long after, you and the boys were stuffing yourselves with eggs, bread covered in butter, gazpacho, and jamon. You and the guys were quick to sober up but not Carlos. Lando couldn’t believe the amount he drank and you could see that Carlos was fading fast. You bid the guys goodnight and gently lead the staggering Carlos to his bedroom.

After helping Carlos do his nighttime routine and get changed, he looks at you with a sleepy smile as you change out of your dress. 

“What?” you laughed at his blissed-out expression.

“You are so beautiful. I still can’t believe you chose me after how horrible I was to you last year,” said Carlos as he flopped onto his bed. 

“You weren’t that bad. You just chose to ignore me and hurt my feelings,” you teased. 

“No,” slurred Carlos. “I’m talking about when I thought you paid your way into Formula One."

You stilled and looked surprised. “You thought what!?”

Carlos laughed not realizing he let out his secret. He gives you a sleepy smile, “Maybe Mattia was right about you. Maybe the world’s prettiest girl is my biggest distraction.”

Before you could ask him any more questions, he was already fast asleep. You stood there staring at Carlos overwhelmed at everything he had just said. You paced his room replaying his words.

He’s drunk, he didn’t mean any of it….right?

You warily get in bed with Carlos, instinctively Carlos reaches over to wrap his arm around your waist. Unsure of what you were feeling about him at the moment, you carefully remove his arm from you. Even if you had an exhausting day, you slept restlessly, anxious about the conversation you were going to have with Carlos. 

*******

Carlos woke up to a pounding headache and the sweet smell of pancakes. He looked to the spot next to him and sees that you got up before him. Carlos downs the glass of water and ibuprofen you undoubtedly placed on his bedside table. He walked to the living room to see Lando and Charles eating pancakes while watching some random movie. They greet him but not before teasing Carlos about how drunk he was last night. He sees you sitting on the kitchen island, absent-mindedly stirring your coffee. 

“Good morning!” said Carlos as he leaned in to kiss your forehead.

“Morning.” 

Your lack of emotion made Carlos quirk his eyebrow. He busied himself as he stacked pancakes on his plate as he settled down on a stool, and dug in.

“Thanks for the water and medicine. Did you make the pancakes too?”

“Lando and I made them,” you murmured barely making eye contact with Carlos.

Carlos furrowed his eyebrows. “Are you okay? Do you have a headache or something?”

You let out a long breath and took a large swig of coffee, you were anxious about what he had to say.  

“Last night when we were getting ready for bed, you said some things.”

“What did I say?” asked Carlos. “I was so drunk, I can only remember parts of last night.” 

“You said a lot of things. You told me that at first, you thought Aston Martin took me in because I was a pay driver and I would bring sponsors in,” you said slowly, making sure your voice didn’t shake. “Is that true? Did you think I paid for my seat?”

Carlos’s jaw dropped, you were never supposed to know that. “Y/n, I am so so so sorry. I told you I was such an ass before I got to know you. Please believe that I was so ashamed when I learned the truth.”

You could feel your lower lip tremble. “So you were one of those who questioned my place in Formula One?” 

“Yes, but that was before I knew how good of a driver you were,” said Carlos desperately as he tried to defend himself without insulting you further. “I was so stupid.”

“Carlos, you didn’t even bother to look at any of my races from F3 and F2? Is that why you ignored me? You didn’t think I deserved my seat?!?”

“No! That is not what happened. I am so sorry. You have to believe that I think you’re one of the best drivers on the grid!” 

You were now standing over him with your arms crossed. You were aware that Lando and Charles were listening to your argument but you didn’t care. Carlos was about to say something but you held your hand up to stop him. 

“There was something else, something about Mattia being right? What did he say?” you said breathing hard. You didn’t know if you were pissed or was about to cry. Maybe it was both. 

“Mattia and some senior staff somehow found out about our relationship. They think that us dating is negatively affecting my racing,” said Carlos. 

You stood there astonished, searching his face for any indication of a joke. “You don’t believe them right?!?”

Frustrated, Carlos runs his hands over his face and hair. “I- umm,” stuttered Carlos, his face contorted in confusion.

“You’re hesitating! What the fuck Carlos? You agree with them?”

This time Carlos stood up with his hands up in surrender. “I-I don’t know! The data supports them. Ever since we got together, I’ve had the worst luck on race weekends.”

You laughed in disbelief. “And you blame me?

“Well, no- I don’t know! I guess I get so concerned about you that I tend to mess up and it affects my racing,” said Carlos, his voice getting louder. “In Australia, your crash with Latifi must have distracted me and caused my bad qualifying. Then this past weekend in Imola, I almost hit you! My DNF was because of YOU. I had a chance of getting World Champion and now….it’s gone.”

Charles and Lando looked at each other in disbelief, shocked at Carlos’s confession. Carlos stood there wide-eyed, immediately regretting every word he said. He was never the type to have angry outbursts but here he was paying the price as he watched your face contort in anger. You heard multiple pings from phone notifications but you ignored them as you processed everything he said. Seething, you tried your best to control the tears that threatened to spill out. 

“Fuck you, Carlos. Don’t blame me for your own mistakes.”

You moved to leave but the pinging and ringing around the room was nonstop. Confused, you look down at your phone and see multiple messages from Anna, your sister Elsie, and Pierre.

Anna: Hey, you might want to check the news

Anna: Call me when you see this.

Elsie: I’m so sorry. The media knows.

Pierre: Are you with Carlos? Look at the media.

Suddenly panicked, you go on Twitter and your heart dropped as you scroll through the tweets and articles. Old pictures of you and Carlos resurfaced from Mallorca along with new ones from Australia and Italy. There was nothing scandalous, you made sure of that but, there were couple-esque photos that the sneaky paparazzi managed to get. There were pictures of you working out together, in his car, and meeting each other after races. There were also pictures of you and Carlos kissing in places you thought were private. There was no denying that you two were in a relationship.

Carlos answered a phone call from his manager and he somberly looked at you as he rapidly spoke in Spanish. Charles and Lando gave up pretending they weren’t there and entered the kitchen with their phones in hand. Feeling overwhelmed, you slumped down on a chair. At this point, it wasn’t even the pictures that bothered you, it was the headlines that came with them. “Did you guys read what the media is saying?” 

“Aston Martin rises and Ferrari falls,” said Lando as he read an article out loud. “Formula One fans are scratching their heads as they watched a mid-field team overtake the legendary Scuderia Ferrari. Is this due to the budding romance between Carlos Sainz Jr. and Y/n?”

“Is Aston Martin Racing Team stealing secrets from Ferrari?” Charles scoffed as he read the ridiculous clickbait title. “Aston Martin driver is spending time with Carlos Sainz Jr. and is seen entering and leaving the Ferrari garage multiple times. Is y/n using the Ferrari driver to benefit Aston Martin?”

Lando rolled his eyes. “That is the dumbest thing I’ve heard in my life. Where did these journalists get their degrees?”

You shook your head as you deleted the death threats that crazy fans had already sent you. Upon further inspection, the messages accused you of stealing from Ferrari or tainting Carlos’s career. “This is what I was scared of, I knew the media was going to be crazy but this…this is more intense than I anticipated. I’m receiving death threats for ruining Carlos’s races.”

You looked at Carlos expecting him to say something but he just stared at you, his head was pounding and his mind swirling as he processed the chaos that had just happened. Carlos cursed his drunk self for revealing his secrets, he knew he marginally fucked up and had no idea what to say without digging himself into a deeper hole.

Disappointed by his lack of words, you stood up and walked to the bedroom to gather your things. Carlos stood there frozen until Charles wildly gestured for his stupid teammate to follow you. 

By the time Carlos caught up, you were throwing your things into your bag.  

“Y/n! Where are you going?” said Carlos. 

“I’m going back to my hotel to do some damage control because apparently, I’m stealing secrets from Ferrari. I suggest you do that too since your shitty season just got worse because of me,” you said crossly. 

Hurt by the events that unfolded you couldn’t stand being in his presence any longer. You swiftly made your way out of his room, said bye to the boys, and headed down to the lobby to wait for Anna to pick you up. Like he was in a haze, Carlos slowly made his way to the kitchen where he saw Lando also packing up to leave. 

“Hey, I’m going to go catch up to Y/n. I don’t think she should be alone right now, she’ll need to be with a friend.” 

Carlos merely nodded before he deflated into his couch and groaned. In a matter of minutes, his entire world turned upside down and he had no idea what to do. He was sorry for his outburst and for hurting you but at that moment, he believed he was right. 

*******

The last 48 hours of your life were absolute chaos. From constantly being in contact with your team and obsessively reading every news article, you were mentally and physically exhausted. You and Anna were on your way to a meeting at the Ferrari Headquarters with your Aston Martin bosses and Ferrari’s senior staff. You were so nervous, neither you nor Carlos had tried to contact each other but that didn’t surprise you. Carlos apologized for thinking you were a pay driver but he never said he was sorry blaming you for his mistakes. You were furious and didn’t plan on talking to him for a few more days but you couldn’t avoid him forever. 

You arrived at HQ and sighed when you saw a group of reporters camped out and no doubt waiting for you. Needing all the good publicity you could get, you and your Aston Martin crew smiled and waved as you headed inside. You were greeted by Mattia and an official from the FIA, you were then led to a large conference room. You stopped short when you made eye contact with a haggard-looking Carlos before quickly looking away and seeing Charles next to him giving you a small wave. Mattia graciously offers you a seat and you tried not to frown when you realized it was right across from Carlos. The atmosphere was tense as the team principals and the FIA official stood at the front of the room. 

 “First of all, I would like to state that no one in Ferrari believes the false rhetoric that Y/n is stealing information from Ferrari,” says Mattia jokingly.

The majority of the room chuckled but you managed to politely crack a smile. You were fearful of what the teams and FIA would say about you and Carlos, you were dreading the idea of you or Carlos getting disciplined for being in a relationship. You sink into your chair but as the meeting progressed, you find yourself sitting up and feeling more positive. 

You were astounded at how easy-going the FIA was about drivers being in relationships, the official discussed that there is no rule on dating, the drivers just need to ensure that once they are on the track, they have a professional relationship. There was a moment when the official asked you and Carlos to confirm that you were in fact in a relationship, you responded with a clipped “yes” while Carlos silently nodded his head. After seeing that awkward interaction, your team principals raised their eyebrows at each other after detecting the tension.

“While I’m glad Carlos and I are not in trouble, what are we going to do about the media? They are eating me alive and I’m beginning to think every news outlet hates me,” you asked.

Sara the Aston Martin PR director stood up with someone you assumed was from Ferrari’s PR team and walked to the front of the room.

“The plan is to create positive media that combats the negative media. We’ll start slow with a couple of posts on your Instagram story with glimpses of your relationship. You will need to show the media that your relationship is as strong as ever. Then sometime during race week, we will post pictures of both of you on the Aston Martin and Ferrari social media accounts. The public needs to see that there is no bad blood between the two teams,” said Sara.

You and Carlos nodded, understanding what needed to be done.

“On the bright side,” chirped the Ferrari PR director. “While the news outlets have a negative view of your relationship, the majority of fans love that Carlos and Y/n are together! I scanned Twitter, Instagram, and even Tumblr. The fans are quite happy with the pair so we thought that if we garnered enough positive public opinion, it would quickly drown out the bad media.”

You were so occupied by the awful press that you failed to notice that fans who weren’t sending you death threats were elated that you and Carlos were dating. It was nice to know that the fans were supporting you but it just made you feel guilty for the fight you and Carlos were having. The meeting ended and you and Carlos stayed seated as the conference room emptied. You crossed and uncrossed your arms as you tried to come up with what to say and to your relief, Carlos broke the silence. 

“I am sorry.”

“About what?”

“Sorry that the media targeted you instead of me.” 

You sighed. “Don’t you get it? It was always going to be me. Why do you think I was so nervous to be spotted together?”

Carlos shook his head. “It makes no sense. You are the one that is performing well!”

You looked at Carlos incredulously. “How do you not remember the backlash I received during testing in my rookie year? Of course, they were going to go after me, the newbie female driver, not one of F1’s golden boys! I must have read every article about us in the last two days and absolutely NO ONE has written a bad thing about you. Every article blames me and you are always the victim.” 

By then, tears were flowing freely down your face as you released the pent-up emotions you’d been holding in. Carlos wanted to reach out but he knew that was the last thing you wanted.

“But,” you continued, your voice bitter. “I guess you and the media have the same opinions about me.”

Carlos had no idea what to say to you. He felt like the world’s worst boyfriend, he hated that you were crying because of him but he couldn’t get past the idea that you were why he had been performing poorly. He looked at you with hopelessness as an internal battle played out in his head. One part of him wanted to hold and console who was probably the love of his life but the other side of Carlos would do anything to win the world championship. In his silence, you wiped your tears dry as you stood up to leave. Your heart shattered when you realized that Carlos wasn’t even going to apologize or let alone talk about what he said in his apartment.

“I think we both need time and space to think about things,” you said as you fought to steady your voice. “Tomorrow I’ll post some throwback pictures from Madrid, the ones that my sister took. Then the day after, you could post some of the pictures from Australia.” 

“Okay,” said Carlos quietly.

He avoided your gaze as you took one last look at him, the internal battle still occupying his thoughts. As you walked out of the room, Carlos let go of a breath he didn’t know he was holding. Carlos warily watched your retreating form through the glass doors, knowing he fucked up again and did nothing about it. 

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[artzychic27]

… What if… SB&IB actor au?

(AU where the fans have taken over the studio and rewrite it according to Scarlet Beetle and Ikati Black and are forcing Thomas to watch every episode, and the actors are just thrilled)

Director: *Laughing* Cut!

Marinette: I’m sorry! *Hugs Chloé* I love you, Chloé!

Chloé: I love you, Mari! Being mean is torture!

—

Nathaniel: Nooroo, Wings- Ugh! I… I had something in my mouth.

Cast: *Laughing*

Nathaniel: What was in my mouth?!

—

Alya: Ever heard of Anan… An…

Marcelle: Anne?

Alya: Anne. Yes, my sister wrestler name is Anne.

Cast: *Laughing*

Alya: That’s her wrestling name, y’all! Remember that! Nailed it! *Walks off of set*

—

Ivan: *Just starts dancing out of nowhere*

Sabrina: *Snickers* Why?

Ivan: Why not?

—

Jalil: Now, as you know, the one with the scepter is Akenathen. And there, opposite is Nefertiti… Akenathen. That’s what I said.

Alix: That is what you said.

Alim: It is.

Jalil: I’m dumb. I’m so dumb.

Alix: No, you got big brains up there.

Jalil: A big dumb brain.

—

Nathaniel: Everyone in my class is a virgin!

Kim: *Walks on the set* Way to call us out, man.

Nathaniel: Get out of the shot!

—

Marc: *During Horrificator; Bumps into the classroom doorframe* Fuck! Jesus- Ah! Oh, I hit my forehead- Ow!

Sabrina: *Laughing* Are you okay?

Marc: No! No, I’m really not! I’m taking my coffee break! *Walks off the set*

Cast: *Laughing*

Nino: *Laughing* You had your break five minutes ago.

Marc: I need another one!

—

[Confessional]

Marc: Asstruc always had me slouching, because, back then, I was the “feminine” boyfriend, so I couldn’t be too tall when around Nath. And I… Sometimes forget how tall I am.

Nathaniel: And when I was around Marc, I wore shoes that gave me some more height, but around others, I was in my regular shoes.

Marc: Yeah, but now he’s my short boyfriend again. *Kisses his forehead*

Nathaniel: That sweet one-foot height gap. But when I’m Monarch, I’m in heels, because that’s just to assert dominance.

—

[Confessional]

Marinette: Hey, I’m thrilled we got rid of that asshole. Now we got cool assholes running things!

Adrien: And I can curse now! I’m not some “Sunshine Baby!” Watch this! THIS NEW SHOW IS FUCKING AWESOME, YOU COCK-SUCKING PUSSY-LICKERS!

Rose: Guys, check this out. KISS MY BALLS, BITCHES! *Cackles*

Adrien: We’re gonna cause so much fucking chaos now!

—

[Confessional]

Juleka: I, for one, think it’s pretty cool they incorporated our sexualities and genders into the show. Like… That’s badass, right? How many shows or movies do that?

Nino: Yeah, and they’re not like all in people’s faces with me being a trans guy.

Juleka: Yeah, just got that little patch, and that’s it.

—

[Confessional]

Nathaniel: Yeah, it gets weird talking to the air constantly, but when I see the final thing, I’m like, “Damn, that’s good.”

Kim: Yeah, but you can hear the other cast members laughing while we’re conversing with the Kwamis. Now I know how Mari and Adrien felt.

Max: It’s hard as hell. But, the jokes on them since they’re gonna be talking to Kwamis in season 2.

—

[Confessional]

Denise: I… I am thrilled to finally have lines.

Lacey: Yeah, Ass-truc literally just stuck us in the class and said, “React.” Like… Like we’re the background characters in VicTORIous!

Ismael: You have no idea how invalidating that was! I went through years of acting classes only to be stuck in as a background character!

Aurore: Yeah, and somehow Marc becomes the main classmate.

Marc: One of the worst parts had to be how Asstruc was so uncreative with the outfits for characters who weren’t me, Aurore, or Mireille. Seriously, Jean’s sweater was reused like four times!

Jean: But then, the design team gave it some life! I’m a theater nerd as God herself intended!

—

Ikati Black: FUCK OFF ROGER! The rest of you! Unless you wanna look like jackasses for firing at a villain while he still has a captive, you're all going to listen to me, and listen good! GOT IT?!

Officers: Sir, yes sir!

Ikati Black: *Slips on a pair of sunglasses* Power move.

Scarlet Beetle: *Rolling on the floor laughing* Stop! Stop!

—

Copy Cat: Nice try, little bird. But you're not going to escape this cage so easily.

Marc: Perv!

Copy Cat: Dude!

Nathaniel: *Putting on his Monarch costume* Perv!

Roger: Oh, total perv.

Copy Cat: I need a coffee break!

Marc: All according to plan. *Leaves while still tied up*

—

[Confessional]

Marcelle: I’m glad they gave Marc a sister and brother, and it’s even more exciting since we’re all actually siblings.

Marc: Yeah, it’s fun seeing my sibs during shoots. Kiran was especially excited.

Kiran: I can’t wait to get Akumatized!

Marcelle: … *Whispers* I’m gonna tell him.

Marc: *Whispers* Don’t you dare.

—

Austin Q: *Hugging Austin T after they finish Lady WiFi* I love you.

Austin T: I love you, too. But we’re just acting.

Austin Q: I know, and I’m sorry for the mean things I said.

Austin T: *Pats him on the head* It’s okay. Later we’ll get ice cream.

Austin Q: Yaay!

—

[Confessional]

Austin Q: I hate being a jerk!

Austin A: I want redemption! Are we getting redemption?!

Austin B: *Sucking his thumb*

Austin T: … I’m what’s known as the group mom.

—

[Confessional]

Ivan: I’ve been handling our fame pretty well. Y’know, with new outfits comes new fashion lines, cool new fanart, and music videoes. But sometimes, I’d just like to enjoy a cappuccino in peace. Is that too much to ask?!

—

[Confessional]

Lila: When the fanfiction writers tied up Astruc and bound him to a chair, I was like, “Okay,” then they burned the scripts and I’m thinking they must be on something, but then they bring in new scripts, I’m reading them, and I’m like… “I’m not an asshole bitch anymore?” I love it. The writing sounds like something teenagers would actually say, and I am perfectly fine with doing the show ever if it means getting to follow this script.

—

[Confessional]

Alya: *Getting her Lady WiFi makeup done* The artists… They’re just wonderful. Okay, they aren’t putting the girls in My Hero Academia female hero costumes, they aren’t giving the guys insane muscles, it’s all good. I felt comfortable in my costume.

—

Marinette: I would like your son’s hand in marriage.

Gabriel: Consider it done.

Adrien: That is not in the script!

Emille: Adrien, shush! It’s improv!

Alix: I thought that was when people say, “Yes, and?”

Adrien: Someone say “Cut!”

—

[Confessional]

Kim: *Looks up from his book* Oh. Hey guys. We have a lot of fun on this show. But one thing that’s not fun is forcing Luka Couffaine to only wear pants.

Max: That’s right, Kim. Thomas Astruc has forced Luka to wear pants instead of being allowed to wear the skirts they so love.

Nino: Don’t get us wrong, Luka still looks amazing in those jeans, but come on! Who doesn’t want to see Luka Couffaine in a skirt?!

Ivan: I know I wanna.

Nathaniel: As do I.

Ismael: Skirts make his ass look hot.

Simon: So, if you or someone you know wants to see Luka in a skirt, donate to Let-Luka-Couffaine-Wear-Skirts.com.

Jean: Together, we can all see Luka Couffaine in a leather skirt and fishnet stockings.

Adrien: If you don’t donate, then you’re a joke. And so is your family.

Marc: Let’s put Luka Couffaine in a skirt so that we may simp over them when they bend over.

—

[Confessional]

Cosette: So… I’m getting a girlfriend! That’s right! Uh-huh! I’m getting a fucking girlfriend! There’s gonna be hand-holding, kissing, all that shit! Yeah! Fuck yes! I’m getting a girlfriend!

—

Marc: When I let you go, you better get running in the next ten seconds, or I will jam one of my fucking pens through your neck, yank it out, and then finger-fuck the hole!

Nathaniel: … What’s stopping you now?

Marcelle: … You bisexual little fuck.

Cast: *Laughing

Marcelle: I stand by my statement.

—

Reshma: *Just randomly dancing* I… I don’t know. *Laughs*

Ismael: Okay, okay. That’s alright. But how about this? *Starts Moonwalking*

Marc: *Doing Janet Jackson’s Rhythm Nation choreography* Ya’ll got nothing on me.

Mireille: Okay, okay. But have you considered- *Starts breakdancing*

Denise: *Doing Luisa’s Surface Pressure choreography*

Jean: *Voguing* You were saying?

Cosette: *Doing Wednesday’s dance* Should this just be the show from now on? Everyone’s dancing for no reason?

—

[Confessional]

Chloé: *Getting her hair and makeup done* So, this is cool, I’m actually getting redemption, and some of the Austins along with a few canon characters are going to be… Wait, was I supposed to… Oh, God… Oh my God! I am so sorry!

—

[Confessional]

XY: It’s awesome being back on the show. I get to see some friends, hang with my dad, and we’re actually to peel back some of my layers.

Bob: Yeah, while it sucks I’m still the asshole father, I think this is good; it’s something audiences need to see- The-the toxicity of the music industry and the effect on teenagers.

XY: And we never delved into our relationship on the original show. It was clear I was being abused.

Bob: Exactly! God, I’m glad Asstruc is in the dungeon. Speaking of which, it’s your turn to feed him the fish heads.

XY: Damn it!

—

[Confessional]

Aya: When I got an email saying Asstruc was taken hostage, I was thrilled, but then I got another email saying the new writers wanted me to have a role on the new show, and I was ecstatic! Yes, my son plays the villain, but I’m happy he’s not longer a background character who’s only important when it comes to some ship that’s not even that cute anymore.

[shankss-magnificent-ass]

ALPHABET REQUESTS LETS GOOO! can i ask for K & O from the fluff alphabet and F, V & W from the smut alphabet for babygirl Kaido, please? <3

Of course, Kaido isn't a character I had explored much as a writer. So getting into his head and seeing what I think he'd like was fun. Thanks for the request about the biggest babygirl.

Fluff

Kiss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

Kisses with Kaido are usually rough and overpowering. He'll cup the back of your head and pull you deeper into his kiss.

Being tender isn't in his nature, so tender kisses that he initiates are rare. But that isn't to say you won't get soft kisses, but you'll have to coax him emotionally into a place of comfortable vulnerability first. He'll have to be at max babygirl level to get soft smooches.

His first kiss was with Linlin back in their Rocks days, before she considered him her little brother. She found out he hadn't been kissed before so she stole it much to his embarrassment.

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

Kaido in love is a very confused Kaido. He'll grow distant with everyone for a few days to sort out his feelings. He won't drink or eat much during that time either and it scares most of the crew (King most of all) because he's less predictable than usual. His unpredictable tendencies are violence or binge drinking and the chaos that ensues; but a Kaido that does nothing, says nothing, that's new and that makes everyone nervous. But Kaido just needs to sort out and figure out how to move forward. His thinking may be abstract, but still complicated.

But once he realizes he is in love he kind of panics, because he is very aware that he is a scary man. The first person he talks to is King, he admits he doesn't want to scare you off and he knows you are in no position to refuse him. He doesn't want you to feel uncomfortable when he confesses. King, who has no romantic relationship experience tries his best but isn't much help.

Once Kaido has a game plan, he's quite excited and dare I say, bubbly.  He brings you to an island outside of his territory and makes sure you know you are not obligated to say yes, and that if you are uncomfortable with his feelings you can leave the crew. Kaido was even willing to give you a year's salary in advance and set up a separate identity for you elsewhere; he just wanted you safe and happy, even if it meant it wasn't with him.  He confesses his feelings on a moonlit beach in front of a bonfire that Maria helped him set up.

Kaido is over the moon when you return his feelings. He drinks to celebrate of course, but he also throws a feast s soon as the two of you return to Onigashima. Kaido makes sure everyone on the crew knows you are his, but disguises his relationship with you to the rest of the world. Kaido’s mood and temperament significantly improve once he enters a relationship with you. He even cuts down on drinking and stops his suicide attempts altogether. The crew loves you because you are the only one who can stop his rampages. Kaido often showers you with gifts and makes sure you have the best that he can afford. He is the happiest he’s ever been. 

NSFW

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Kaido is surprisingly enough okay with being on top of on bottom.

bud workout wateringcan captain prison guard

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Kaido is kind of noisy, with lots of grunting and groaning, panting and swearing. He also dirty talks a lot and likes making you repeat and affirm the filthy things he says.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

In order to get Kaido to the point where he feels comfortable letting go of control, he enjoys having a soft dom as a partner. But it takes months of tenderness and affection and working through his own trauma to get him to let his partner dominate him. But once you are there, he'll let you basically do anything to him as long as it's somewhere very private. You want to handcuff him to the bed, sure. You want him to wear lingerie, what color, and style. You want to ride him softly through the night and give him tender kisses and paise, yes, please.

Support me on Kofi and Patreon

[cherrybombfangirlwrites]

Happy STS! Your OCs are at a fun park. Who's going to get on the most daring stuff? Who settles for kids' ones? Who hates all of it? @catharticallysarcastic

Happy STS! This is a really fun question thank you.

To make this a little bit easier to answer with a large cast(s), we're doing pairs/groups of three or four as the whole entire group of friends goes to the theme park. Everyone already know there's going to be chaos with all of my main casts.

~~~FSF Cast~~~

Snow and Max: They have every single second of the trip to the theme park planned out. They did a TON of research on where exactly to go and when so the lines are as short as possible, and they are very efficient about the whole thing. They will ride all of the rides but only at this exact time when the line is supposed to be shortest, and everyone gets maybe twenty minutes to sit down and eat lunch before these two are dragging them all to the next ride before the line gets too long.

Raven and Lan: These two are the mom friends of the group. They have backpacks filled with all the supplies the group will possibly need. They have snacks, water, first aid kits, emergency money, sharpies to write phone numbers on people's wrists, duct tape, extra changes of clothes for everyone, rain ponchos, etc. They are constantly checking in on everyone and trying to get people to eat the trail mix and drink the water in their packs instead of by the overpriced food and water at the park- Eventually they cave and buy everyone burgers and fries and milkshakes for lunch. Both are also very determined to get the biggest and best prizes at the carnival games for Sapphire and Snow- both girls go home with one enormous stuffed animal each at the end of the day.

Sapphire, Tris, Triveya, and Monty: These four are the adrenaline junkies. They basically turn into very hyper eight year olds that want to do every single ride and eat all of the sugar and play every single one of the carnival games once they set foot inside the park. They're the ones making a beeline for the biggest and wildest rides first with the others on tow. Of course by the end of the day they are all very worn out and are basically sleeping on the others shoulders as they exit the park, and then are passed out in the car all the way home. They're the group of kids at Disneyland on the Teacups spinning their teacup as fast as it will possibly go.

Elliot and Hestia: Neither of them really like all the crowds and the wild rides, BUT they really wanted to spend time with their friends, so they end up eating as much food as they can get their hands on, hanging out on a bench with a book, or chilling on the kids' rides. They try the carnival games and only get a couple of small prizes, so on the way home they buy each other a giant stuffed animal because they really wanted one.

Cassandra and Erica: They're that one couple that's basically making out in lines for the rides. They're not even paying attention to the rides, they're staring at each other with heart eyes the entire time like newly weds on their honeymoon. Also these two are DOMINATING in the carnival games, and give each other all of the prizes that they win. Not even halfway through the day both of them are carrying at least four giant stuffed animals each with a dozen other little prizes stuffed in their pockets or hanging around their necks. All of their money is gone by the end of the day but neither one cares.

~~~TCIO Cast~~~

Nickelle: The only one who is calm the entire time. She's like the chill one that's just there to ride a few of her favorite rides, eat some greasy fast food, and bring home at least one decently sized prize. She's like the teenage big sister who is just happy to be here and is chill the whole time. Definitely helps Bryson and Asher keep the others under control.

Bryson and Asher: The Mom Friend and the Dad friend. Bryson has the backpack full of everything they could possibly need and is trying to spend as little as possible while being a little overprotective about the kids jumping on things or running too fast. Asher is the very tired dad that's trying to be as efficient as possible, and is constantly counting and recounting the kids and will maybe buy the kids one thing but it has to be small, cheap, and something that they want so badly they'll use it everyday.

Jason: the snobby rich kid who's daddy got him into the park. He's rude to the staff and expects everything to go exactly his way, and he's that jerk who will cut in line to try and meet up with his friends without having done any waiting at all. He whines to his dad when he gets home and attempts to sue the park, but they don't have any grounds to do that so nothing happens. The rest of the group pretty much ditches him once inside the park and neither party even notices or cares- and at the end of the day he gets a ride from his butler or something and the others drive home without him in peace.

V, Kylee, and Chase: The chaos trio, the hyper little kids, the adrenaline junkies. They want dad to get them all of the toys and prizes and candy and souvenirs, they want to ride all of the rides starting with the biggest and wildest ones, they will eat sugar and go on the crazy rides until they're sick and then do it again. Chase and Kylee are the littlest siblings and V is the bigger sibling but just as chaotic. Asher and Bryson end up having to put them on those kids' backpack leashes/harnesses just to keep them under control.

~~~BSBO Cast~~~

Corie and Hades: Corie basically puts the baby in a harness and they go off to do their own thing, leaving the others behind in chaos. She does really well in the carnival games and gives all of the prizes to Hades, including at least one very large stuffed animal. She takes all of the prizes in the sharpshooting carnival games. She doesn't care about the big rides, and is more than content chilling with Hades on a bench or on the little kids' rides. ALSO she's wearing sunglasses and has a resting bitch face the entire time.

Lanie: The very tired uncle/chaperone. He's on his fourth cup of coffee not even ten minutes in, and is just trying to keep these kids he's been put in charge of from dying or getting in legal trouble. He doesn't care what they do as long as they don't get arrested or in trouble with the park and he takes them home in one piece. Will buy the kids whatever they want and give them as much sugar as they want as long as they don't die or get arrested.

Astra, Pandora, Castor, and Aries: The chaos quartet. They aren't even together, all four of them are bouncing around the park in all directions, and trying to cause as much chaos as they can get away with- (harmlessly) pranking people, running around wildly, eating all of the candy and sugar they can until they get sick. They're not only hyper little kids, they are menaces to society and almost get kicked out of the park but Lanie somehow manages to keep them from crossing that line.

Nova: Starts out chilling with Lanie or Corie and Hades, but then gets very competitive at the carnival games with Astra very quickly and it becomes a race to see who can bring home the most prizes. The park staff can't help but wish those two would kiss already instead of taking out the tension on their games and taking all the prizes. By the end of the day she's joined the chaos gremlins.

Thanks @catharticallysarcastic !

Also tagging all three of these wips' taglists because I think yall would get a kick out of this:

FSF: @rose-bookblood @chalcid @evethenovicewriter @writing-is-a-martial-art @thatprolificauthor

TCIO: @friendlyneighborhood-writer @jessicas-story-blog22 @rose-bookblood @thatprolificauthor

BSBO: @fiercely-raging-writer  @aesa  @thatprolificauthor  @writeouswriter @rose-bookblood

General Taglist: @enchanted-lightning-aes @/thatprolificauthor

[baeddel]

discussion on this post, @horatiovonbecker asks @otatma their opinion about extended families as an alternative to the nuclear family. @otatma replies that it is “a good thing to strive for” but “depends hugely on the family being nontoxic.” true enough!

as it’s my activity feed and they can’t stop me i’ll butt into the conversation. i grew up in an extended family. i lived with my mother and my maternal grandparents, and my aunt would live with us some days out of the week. all of this was accomplished in a 2-bedroom bungalow. i had very little privacy and i hated it; when i was 15 i ran away. my mother pleaded with the council and we managed to secure a terraced house in a socialized housing estate with a bedroom for each of us, plus a spare room (almost unthinkable today). we live near our grandparents and they visit every day.

when i was 16 i met my absentee father. he had been homeless in England and imprisoned in Scotland and when he returned to Ireland that year i found him living in a rhizomatic extended family scenario spanning four generations and three households. they were always being chased out by landlords or paramilitaries and relocating and, in any case, one could never predict who would be living in which house at any time; children would live with grandparents one month, parents the next, aunts and uncles the next, and so on. even husbands and wives did not always share a home.

[long post: 3k words, on the historical development of family structure in Ireland and England and what it means for monogamy, the family and anarchy]

based on this i believed the extended family to be an Irish institution. this is an assumption i shared with most sociologists and historians until about the 1990s (Seward et. al., 2005, pg. 2). the standard narrative was that, world-over, families historically lived in large, three-generation households and that thanks to the industrial revolution this was deteriorating. “Max Weber himself implies in his magisterial way that the rise of capitalist organisation was associated with 'the household community shrinking' ” (Laslett, 1974, pg. 7). Ireland was traditionally conceived of as an exception to this process of deterioration as, on this account, the extended family remained dominant while the rest of the world was going nuclear. it turns out to be the reverse in both cases: the extended family was never the dominant family structure anywhere (ibid. pg. 2-3; Vann 1974, pg. 3-4), except for in Ireland beginning in the 19th century, where over the course of the 20th century it did deteriorate (Laslett, 1974 pg. 34; Gibbon & Curtin, 1978).

the reason for this is embarassingly obvious once you realize it. the fact is that not all families in a society can be extended families. if all children remain in the family home along with their children into perpetuity this house will soon have the population of a small town. this is actually the origin of society proposed by Filmer in Patriarcha (1680), where parental authority becomes the “fountain of all Regal Authority” as their progeny multiply, until humanity is scattered about in the Confusion of Tongues (pg. 11-15). without a Confusion of Tongues to interrupt the exponential increase (and millions, rather than thousands, of years to account for) we have to imagine another sort of family structure. the 19th century sociologist Frédéric Le Play proposed that a new family structure emerged out of ancient patriarchy which he called the Stem-Extended Family. on this account one son was selected to inherit and he remained at the family’s residence; the other siblings were dispersed (Gibbon & Curtin, 1978 pg. 2-3).

to the extent that this form of family organization did exist, it could not have been the dominant form. in a family with three sons, two of them would have to go and form nuclear families with their spouses. they might go on to build their own extended family, or they might not. in many societies the extended family was indeed considered “a good thing to strive for”, and this was the position adopted by the conservative Catholic Le Play, and later accepted by the Catholic Church, who lobbied for policy interventions that would stem the tide of nuclear proliferation in Ireland, particularly by limiting employment opportunities for women. For example, women were barred from civil service positions until 1973 (Seward et. al., 2005, pg. 7).

if this is the case, how could the extended family become the dominant form of family structure in Ireland in the 19th and early 20th centuries? the most significant factor was the reorganization of agriculture carried out by English colonial interests; after the infamous Potato Famine the population of Ireland almost halved (after already more than halving after Cromwell’s genocides), as well as the almost constant state of war that Ireland was submerged in (continuing into the 90s in the occupied North). in the aftermath it was necessary for families to consolidate (Seward et. al., 2005, pg. 3). on top of this, fertility was exceptionally low and emigration was exceptionally high (in the North it remains very high, especially among Catholics). as a result, more generations could live together, and children were more likely to leave the country than disperse elsewhere in Ireland (Seward et. al., 2005, pg. 14). throughout the 20th century, as industry and free secondary education were introduced to Ireland, more children began to move from country to town and nuclear families rapidly replaced extended ones  (Seward et. al., 2005, pg. 6).

my family tree more or less follows this narrative along. in the chaos following the Land War my great, great grandmother was the head of a large intergenerational family involving aunts and uncles, as well as an adopted street orphan. my great grandfather met a homeless woman possessing a child out of wedlock and fell in love with her; they moved to this town and rented a house while he sought work as a street sweeper, starting a new nuclear family. in the 40s my grandmother worked in factories until she married my grandfather, a sailor, and they began their own nuclear family in the same town, renting different little apartments until, thanks to the state of the housing market in the 80s, they purchased the modest accomodations aforementioned. by the 90s this arrangement threatened to become a new Stem-Extended Family (with my mother and i playing the role of inheriting sons), but it proved inoperable in the new context of the 21st century’s mechanized Ireland, and we spilled over into our own single-parent home. given that both me and my aunt are infertile, the maternal line terminates here.

does it follow that we ought to give in and admit that the nuclear family is the natural unit of human society, and that the extended family is possible only in the middle of an ongoing genocide? despite what we’ve just said, there doesn’t seem to be good evidence for this either. while Gibbon & Curtin characterized a debate where Laslett “advanced the iconoclastic [proposition] that there had been little essential historical change in family structure” (1978, pg. 3) this doesn’t seem to actually be Laslett’s position. Laslett argued that family size has not changed considerably throughout history, but on the very first page of his landmark Household and Family in Past Time (1970) he emphasizes that he is “not concerned with the family as a network of kinship” and instead defines his area of research in terms of “coresident domestic groups”, which might bear little relationship to kinship structures. in the past the household very frequently involved not just blood relatives but “lodgers, boarders and visitors” (Vann, 1974, pg. 5) as well as slaves and servants. Vann quotes Etienne Hélin's caution that “[a]rithmetic means, although they varied so little covered a whole series of different situations” and describes how post-industrial English households had twice the number of blood relatives per house as pre-industrial ones, but fewer lodgers, and thus about the same mean. the difference between historical and modern families might not be one of size but of an increasing emphasis on blood relations.

it may come as a surprise that, as a matter of fact, Old English has no word for family. they have a word for relatives in general (sibb), for tribes (cynn, the root of Modern English kin), but the basic social unit known to the Anglo-Saxons was the hiw (and its many compounds), which might be translated ‘household’ (or, indeed, ‘coresident domestic group’). who belonged to a hiw? it was somewhat nakedly a property relation. it was not only a man’s wife and children but also his servants, his slaves, as well as his animals (Stanley, 2008, pg. 1). the Textus Rofensus makes only one distinction between members of a household, that they be “slaves or free” (ibid. pg. 7). it could also refer to a monastic group, involving the whole cloister. Stanley notes (and it seems true to me) that there is a virtual absence of family relations in the corpus of Old English literature. in fact i cannot think of a single example, except perhaps for the monster Grendel and his mother. in the mournful Wife’s Lament and the passionate Wulf and Eadwacer the emphasis is on completely personal affections and seductions, and in any case both depict forbidden relationships outside of the hired.

correspondingly, we find that the average Anglo-Saxon home was a large one; typically they were a single room which measured about 50 square meters and “could have accomodated up to about a dozen or so people” (Hines, 2003, pg. 139). there is no reason to suppose that this was to accomodate several generations of blood relatives; the Anglo-Saxons had many, now very unfamilliar, relationships to populate their houses with. there was husband, wife, and concubine, along with their children; there was slave and hostage (Lavelle, 2006), including many orders of slaves with different status (such as the relatively respectable title of bryti, a sort of ‘head slave’); and indeed guest, visitor, boarder, and in the case of lords and aristocratic thegns, perhaps retainers. in Beowulf about thirty thegns sleep with their lord in Heorot, pulling aside the bench-planks and replacing them with straw beds at night (and when the Geats arrive they incorporate them as still more visitors). we know that at least some beds were placed in recesses in the walls and had curtains (Wright), perhaps to accomodate private intimacy between husband, wife and concubine or, indeed, guest, retainer, hostage, slave, or (why not?) animal. even when husband and wife are the only kin relatives in residence we would hesitate to call this arrangement a ‘nuclear family‘, or indeed an ‘extended family’ should it include a grandparent.

why has industrial modernization corresponded with the narrowing of the productive unit of society to the nuclear family (or, increasingly, the single parent family)? why have non-blood relations become so systematically excluded from the household? these seem like open questions to me. our own experience leads us to suspect conditions placed on family structure by the labour market together with city planning. until the 70s in Ireland, as we discussed, it was typical (and indeed lawful) for wives to stay at home and husbands to work; today very few workers could afford to keep their wives at home, even without children. houses are also too small to sustain extended families (nevermind concubines, hostages and the rest). old council houses such as ours have two bedrooms, one for the parents and the other for the children, along with a room for guests. today they do not include the guest room. there are, in addition, only two common rooms: a family room and a kitchen. it is not only difficult to accomodate three generations in these houses (the small guest bedroom is a poor substitue for the reitrement room of many 19th century Irish houses), it is difficult to accomodate even two generations. teenagers will already complain about sharing a bedroom, and one sibling might take up the guestroom. but we know of women with six, seven, as many as twelve children who live here. as adults they could fill at least three of such houses. all of this is possible only on the theory that as the children grow up they will move out into their own homes.

so. it is tempting to analyze the family situation abstractly, counting up the merits and dysfunctions of different systems and comparing them. for example, using Hirschman’s well-known framework of “exit” and “voice”, we might ask how effective the different forms of family structure are at responding to dysfunction (abuse, neglect and so on). the extended family, we might say, gives a child better access to “voice” - they can turn to parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles and siblings for help. your mother might answer to your grandmother who is therefore well poised to address parenting issues, while your father can probably smoothe things over with your uncle if you quarrel. this means that you actually have to worry less about “toxicity” in the family compared to a nuclear family where parents aren’t accountable to anyone. however, in case of a family wide problem, you may have much less room to “exit” compared to a nuclear family, where exit is expected.

which one is better? you might reply that the extended family sounds better. it very well might be; but in reality you’ll never get to act on this exercise in judgement no matter how much striving you do. the nuclear family does not predominate because of the tyrannical thirst for the awesome power of parenthood (no matter how much we do find this thirst satisfied), but because of the given conditions of labour, housing, inheritance and so forth. this is why @horatiovonbecker can reply that all of this is “fair enough” but that they ”don't think it follows that discouraging monogamy will help.” no, surely it does not follow. especially now that we know that family size and kinship relations are not essential features of domestic organization. why was monogamy ever implicated in the first place?

now it seems like a curious slip of the tongue that when Goldman and Parsons disagree about monogamy they do so by attacking and defending the family by turns. but at that time monogamy was not so easily separable. free love was not really polyamory. it was this and also the abolition of both marriage and parenthood, as they understood both as property relations: “marriage slavery”, as even Parsons called it, and parental ownership of children. it was also the abolition of sex work, which they understood as the "public” expression of the subjugation of women which finds its “private” expression in marriage (Marx & Engels, 1848, pg. 24-25), ie. that women are dependent on men’s property and must acquire it by marriage or by sexual labour. as a corrolary they advocated for divorce (which became an immense priority to later Soviet planners who designed mobile, modular homes which would allow couples to separate and cohabit arbitrarily). it was also access to contraceptives and to abortion, as well as, believe it or not, very often the advocacy of eugenics (on the account that with abortion, contraceptives and the freedom to select partners, the previously blind and mute force of sexual reproduction would become domesticated to the rational will; see the anarchist journal Moses Harman founded in the 1880s, Lucifer the Light Bearer, later renamed the American Journal of Eugenics).

this constellation of problems no longer appear all together. after most women entered the conventional work force we could no longer as easily see monogamy and marriage as a relationship of slavery. as we say in the previous post, for many women the struggle is that they are too independent, saddled with childrearing and wage labour and housework with only the cold comfort of the day-care for assistance. for this reason sex work no longer appears as anything special compared to the other forms of labour women do out of necessity; “sex work is work” is the guiding catchphrase of militant sex workers. contraceptives and abortion still appear as a leading issue in feminist agitation but we no longer imagine they have the power to transform the everyday life of the household (nevermind summon forth the genetic Ubermensch). all together the abolition of marriage was replaced, as @birlinterrupted​ reminds us, with its extension: gay marriage. as of right now monogamy and marraige are still inseparable (i can now marry one of my girlfriends but not all three), but we think it need not always be. all together the program fragmented as its success was realized in pieces and none of them were actually irreparably fixed by the property relation (even if they did emerge from it).

Engels actually believed that a true equality of the sexes would, “according to all previous experience,” result in monogamous men and polyandrous women (Engels, 1884, pg. 43), but he admits that we can only conjecture about “the way in which sexual relations will be ordered after the impending overthrow of capitalist production.” he finishes this thought with this remarkable little statement:

[W]hat will there be new? That will be answered when a new generation has grown up: a generation of men who never in their lives have known what it is to buy a woman’s surrender with money or any other social instrument of power; a generation of women who have never known what it is to give themselves to a man from any other considerations than real love, or to refuse to give themselves to their lover from fear of the economic consequences. When these people are in the world, they will care precious little what anybody today thinks they ought to do; they will make their own practice and their corresponding public opinion about the practice of each individual – and that will be the end of it.

the straightforward correspondence between property, economic dependence and monogamy is still here, and which to us now seems insufficient to the problem (ie. the problem still persists after these given conditions are eliminated). broadening the question from questions of marriage, sexual access and economic dependence to the more general question of the organization of the household in general and the necessary social and economic conditions proper to it would clarify what’s really at stake in domestic oppression, the organization of reproduction, and so on. but it remains true that we can only remain sensitive to trends, to those of us organizing new experiments with the household, and where new opportunities might open as the present conditions dig their own grave.

Let’s give the final word to an old friend. What is the Family, Renzo Novatore? Why, nothing but “the denial of life, love and liberty.” Nevermind his entry for Love, which is a “deception of the flesh and damage to the spirit, disease of the soul, atrophy of the brain, weakening of the heart” and so forth.

[the-blackdale]

Mina, Max and Rafe Headcanons-

[ mina-3,max-6,rafe-8] yrs old

𝚏𝚘𝚛 @haline-of-troy ♡︎

Playdates !!! Haha, no suprise, they have playdates where they meet at either Cirenworth or Malec's apartment.

They meet nearly every weekend,because both max and mina attend mundane school and they are a legit pain in the ass because NO HOLIDAYS !!!

Rafe likes to experiment makeup on Mina , she is his makeup buddy and sits still while he puts her hair in funky ponytails or applies lipstics with weird colours on her. She loves painting her nails the most tho, and usually chooses the dark blue one so she can match with Max.

Magnus is never, NEVER supposed to summon funny demon to entertain the trio.

There was this one time he summoned a Tarantula demon and Mina grew so attached with it and would start crying whenever Magnus suggested that they let him go back to his home.

and BEWARE - Mina doesn't cry usually for small things, but by the angel, when she starts crying once, there is no way you can stop her !! You'll now have to suffer in the abyss of chaos with a 3 yr old's frustrated screams and cries, a 6 yr old on the verge of crying because 'bestie don't cry 🥺🥺, or ill cry too' a poor 8 yr old trying to stop everyone from crying and giving up in the process, and last but not the least, an 800 yr old free wheeling bisexual, who is crying even loudly to assert dominance, because screw him if he loses from a small girl with silly pigtails !!

They had to sacrifice 3 cookies to stop Mina from crying. And Max even secretly promised her that he will later try and summon the demon for her when Magnus isn't there.

Magnus gifted Mina with a special Tarantula plushie the next weekend and is now expecting that she pronounce his name right, tho the gap-toothed grin and the big hug she gave him was worth being called agnes for the rest of his life.

When left alone, Mina, Max and Rafe's games usually go like

Lego-

Mina : look, my lego tower !

Max : look, my lego house !

Mina : look my lego snake !

Max : look, Rafe !! 🌚

Mina : ohhh, Raaffee !! 🌝

Together: LEGO ATTACK !!!!

How it ends - Alec trying to seperated the three of them and getting hit by legos in the process, it's all fun and games for the trio, untill the pain really starts to settle in and magnus has to be called.

Seperated they are cute and all, but put the three of them in One room and they will cause freaking havoc, Demon spawns, the three of them, and two of them literally are !!

Scrabbles-

Rafe is the smartass of the trio because

he is the only one who can make proper words.

He is the oldest, duh ! All the older siblings like to show off to the younger ones.

How it ends -

Rafe - MINA ! Spit !!

Mina - * sghshsgauhd*

Rafe *head in hands* Max, pls ask her to spit the pieces.

Max: why :<

Rafe : Becaussssseee.. Its not Tasty !!

Max : it is 😌💅

Rafe : 🤦‍♂️🙇‍♂️🥺 pleaseee...

Mina : *spitting the pieces* ice cream ?

Rafe : Not again !!

And Jem and Tessa think its Kit who spoiled her, but im sure it's Belial's genes.

Hide & Seek-

Max is the easiest to find, you just have to look up, and he would be floating in his magic bubble ball.

He thinks they are cheating, this is legit the best trick he knows !! Even if it's a bit overused 👀, its not like the others are smart enought to notice !!

Spoiler : They are.

How it ends: Max crying at Alec's shoulder while he tries to calm him, with Mina and Rafe sharing the 'I have never met this man in my entire life' 'this is so embarrassing why am I here ?' Look.

Kit get's double pocket money for babysitting them for ONE (1) day !! And the others are more than happy to be rid of the headache.

[escapetodreamworld]

Love is blind

Colette Marchant x Reader

Words 1880

A/n I originaly had a much longer idea in mind for an obsessive Colette fic but I decided to hold off on that idea, if y'all want it maybe I'll get around to writing it sometime this year.

Warnings, obsessive behavior, and maybe a slight controlling behavior. I don't think there's anything else but let me know if I forgot something.

Requested by @simplaif

Taglist ( @medeliadracon )

Max Medici selling his circus to V.A. Vandemere might've been the best thing to ever happen to you. You, your brother Holt, your niece and nephew and the rest of the circus all moved to Dreamland Amusement Park. You know the only reason you're here is because of Dumbo, the flying elephant you and the kids have been taking care of, but you're still happy to be here. 

The best thing about moving here was Colette, the beautiful trapeze artist. Ever since you met her, back at the old circus, when she came with Vandemere to see Dumbo, you haven't stopped crushing on her.

You're starting to get the impression she might like you back, there are things she does that make you wonder. Like when you catch her staring at you or when Vandemere showed you to your new rooms and they were next to Colette's and she smirked at you as she passed by, and then now, she kept eye contact with you while she practiced her trapeze.

You and Colette were the only one in the practice tent, You had shooed the kids and Holt off, Vandemere gave the kids passes to go on all the rides, Colette was getting better at riding Dumbo so You and Holt decided the kids and him could run off and have fun before Dumbo's first show, tonight.

You watch as Colette and Dumbo fly around the room once more before landing, Colette hops off Dumbo. Dumbo runs over to you immediately, nearly knocking you over, you kneel down and start petting him. Colette clears her throat, getting your attention, you look up to see her staring at you rather intensely. "What do you think, are we ready for tonight?" Colette asks, never taking her eyes off you.

"The two of you are improving a lot, but I think your bond could be closer." You say, looking at Dumbo then her again, you continue. "Dumbo knows you, but he doesn't have a relationship with you, you're just the lady that rides on his back. There's no friendship between you too." You explain, scratching behind Dumbo's ears while he leans into your side.

Colette huffs. "And how am I supposed to build a closer bond in just a few hours?" The French woman's visibly annoyed that you're critiquing her performance, you roll your eyes. "Come here." You say, gesturing her over. Once she's close enough you grab her hand, pulling her down to kneel beside you, then you guide her hand to the spot on Dumbo's head he loves having scratched.

After a minute of giving dumbo love and affection he rolls over to cuddle closer to Colette, causing her to genuinely smile. As she continues petting Dumbo you take the moment to stare at her, taking in her beauty. She catches you, you snap your head back down to watch Dumbo, hoping she doesn't think you were really staring at her. You start berating yourself for being stupid, but you feel a hand on your knee.

You look up to see her staring intensely at you again, your heart starts beating so loudly your scare she'll hear it. Colette leans in slightly causing you to let out a shaking breath, making Colette smirk and lean closer, she glances down at your lips then back up to look into your eyes. You're so nervous you can't even lean forward to close the distance between you. Just as you feel Colette breath ghost across your lips the doors open, causing you both to pull away quickly.

Vandemere walks in followed by his bodyguard, Vandemere looks at us on the ground and asks. "Why aren't you practicing?" He's clearly annoyed we're not. You clear your throat "Dumbo's been flying all day, he needs to rest before tonight's performance." You say, voice a little shaky. You see Colette smirking in the corner of your eye.

Vandemere nods "Ah yes well, I came to talk to you anyway, about something important. There's going to be a red carpet before tonight's show, a few reporters and photographers, and I want YOU on my arm tonight." Both you and Colette say "what" at the same time, you're shocked and nervous about the idea, Colette's angry.

"Shouldn't your girlfriend accompany you on the red carpet?" You ask, look from Vandemere to Colette. "No, I don't want Colette being seen until Dumbo and her's performance. And I want Dumbo's trainer there." Vandemere says, growing annoyed.

You try once more to be out of this. "My brother is also Dumbo's trainer, so are the kids."

"The kids are too young for these kinds of things, and your brother doesn't have as pretty of a face as you." Vandemere says, trying to be charming. You sigh in defeat, and agree to do it. Vandemere claps his hands together excitedly. "Wonderful, I already have some seamstresses in your room, so let's go get you into a gown for tonight." And quickly ushers you out of the tent.

You spend the next few hours trying on countless dresses and getting your hair and makeup done, until you're finally ready. You're nervous but you're able to get through all the interviews with a smile, "you're almost done" Vandemere whispers to you while you pose for pictures. You start to relax, happy you've gotten through this with nothing to bad happening, but then Vandemere does something stupid, he leans down and kisses you. A short quick peck on the lips, you immediately pull away, and storm off, praying no one took a photo of it.

You go find Holt and the kids in the main tent, backstage getting ready for Dumbo's performance. Luckily Colette's nowhere to be seen, you don't know if you can face her right now, Holt asks if you're okay and you lie saying you are.

The night ends in more chaos, there wasn't a net during the performance, Dumbo slipped and almost caused Colette to fall. Then Dumbo flew out of the tent and found his mother in a wild animal exhibit, and Milly ran off. After finally finding Milly, you start the long processes of walking her to her rooms then walking to yours. Somewhere between finding Dumbo and finding Milly you broke a heel. So you're walking barefoot, once you're finally in your room, you strip off your dress and fall into bed.

You wake to a banging noise coming from somewhere close by, you roll over in bed curling into your blankets, trying to ignore it. After a minute with no signs of the sounds stopping you get up to see where it's coming from and if you can make it stop, you grab a robe tying it tightly around yourself before going to investigate the noise. Upon entering the main lounge area you find out the noise is coming from someone bang on your door, assuming it's Holt, you march angrily to the door, ready to tell him to go away.

You yank the door open, to find a very angry Colette, holding today's newspaper. You can't read the newspaper because of how she's holding it, but you assume it's about her performance and that's why she's mad. Sighing you opening the door wider signaling for her to come in, she does and as soon as you close the door your back is slammed into it. Colette's body pressing yours to the door one hand on the door by your waist the other by your head, you're shocked, unable to comprehend what's happening. Colette's eyes burning with anger and something else, her almost ragged breath hitting your face.

You're a little worried but that doesn't stop the feeling burning in your lower stomach, you start to squirm but don't make an effort to move away. Colette notices this causing her to grin, she pushes herself closer to you and ghosts her lips against yours, never letting your lips touch even when you try closing the distance. "Colette." You whimper, pleading with her. Her grin only grows. "Aww you poor thing, you're so desperate for me." Colette coos, teasing you. causing you to go weak. Colette moves to your neck, her breath hitting it, and you can feel her teeth graze your jaw. You whimper again, causing Colette to chuckle against your throat.

Colette moves closer to your ear. "Just say the magic word." She whispers, seductively. Then continues teasing you. "Please." You gasp, desperately. You're not sure you can take much more of her teasing. Colette wastes no time, moving her hands from the wall to your face and kisses you, pulling you closer to her. You kiss her back immediately, melting into her. You grab onto her shoulders, steading yourself. Colette's tongue slips into your mouth, exploring, dominating. When Colette starts to pull away she bites your bottom lip pulling on it before releasing it and you.

Your gasping for air you didn't know you needed, still on cloud 9 from the kiss. Colette leans back, a grin on her face as she admirers you. Her hands still resting on your face, she caresses your cheeks with her thumbs. Her grin widens, you see on her face that she just had a thought, you start to ask but she beats you to it.

"You seem to have enjoyed this kiss more than yours last night." She says, smugly. And traces your bottom lip with her thumb. You're shocked, you really thought no one had seen it. Colette raises an eyebrow at your stunned expression, then proceeds to pick up the paper she must've dropped when she pushed you against the wall, and read from an article. "...After my talk with V.A. Vandemere and the lovely flying elephant trainer, Miss (Y/l/n). I witnessed a moment between them, a kiss, one that ended with Miss (Y/l/n) storming off…" Colette finishes reading it and looks up at you. 

You blush, embarrassed that someone not only saw but wrote about it. "I um.. Did you read the part where it says I stormed off." You say weakly, avoiding eye contact.

"I did." Colette says, annoyed. But somehow you know it's not you she's annoyed at. You chance a look at her, but when you do you're caught in her intense stare, unable to look away. "Please don't be mad, I didn't like it." You say, trying to reassure her.

Colette lightens up on her stare, she comes closer to you again. "I know baby, I just don't like it when people touch things that belong to me." Colette coos, and gently grabs your chin. "You do belong to me, don't you?" Colette asks, her voice low. Almost daring you to say no.

If you weren't so in love with her you might've been able to tell how dangerous this was, might've questioned the tone she used, maybe you would've seen the way she stared at you when you weren't aware. Maybe you'd question why your room is next to hers or why it's so far away from your brother's when you know there's vacant rooms closer. But you're in love, you don't notice any of it.

You look at Colette with so much love and adoration, and tell her what she wanted to hear. "Yes."