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bunny584 · 5 months ago

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Hard Night, Good Morning

A/N: .....i…no one look at me. Just read. Hurt/Comfort/hurt? Idk. This shit had me scream crying either way. Post Sukuna Kaisen, but the good guys won.

Art credit: Narutoss_ramen on X

Satoru remembers. His Six Eyes may have dulled to just two. And the battle scars may have faded. But the memories — the film roll featuring a life lived and still living…are all there.

Satoru remembers, but Suguru has forgotten.

His name. His home. The life he’s lived. The life he lost. The friendships, the family, the triumphs, the sins. It’s all gone because Suguru Geto died on December 24th.

At least, his soul did.

And yet, Satoru is about to buy coffee from the shell of a man he once loved. Here. Today. With a smile more beautiful than the first day of summer solstice.

Tabula Rasa. Blank Slate. A stranger he knows better than the back of his hand.

How will The Strongest…no, how will Satoru Gojo choose to know Suguru Geto in this iteration of his life?

Friends? Lovers?

Or just a patron of the handsome barista at a countryside coffee shop with the best lavender latte around.

Ignorance has a way of making things beautiful.

Exquisite, really.

Satoru’s eyes flutter closed. His angular nose nestles into an arc of plumb blossoms. Dancing in the wind. Hanging freely — generously — for everyone on its walking path to enjoy.

Has the world always been this gorgeous?

And so…quiet.

It was the first thing Satoru noticed once his Six Eyes were laid to rest. The moment Limitless buzzed inward for the very last time, all he could see was silence.

Saffron became orange.

Emerald became green.

Ursa Major became a handful of stars.

The Sun stayed the Sun. The Moon seemed so cold. And the world became so dull.

Wonderfully and peacefully dull.

Satoru was no longer tortured by hyperawareness. A double edged sword, but a sword no less. The minuscule details of a person’s skin or each drop of rainfall during a thunderstorm no longer gnawed at his sanity.

The smoke eventually settled.

The Survivors, they aptly nicknamed themselves, peeled off the armor. When the chaos dissipated and the Demon was banished to the Hell he belonged, The Survivors dispersed.

Unable to hold each other’s gaze. For fear of recognizing the monsters they had to become to earn the throne from the King of Curses.

So, Satoru found himself buying a one-way ticket to the tail end of the country.

Where the greens and oranges and yellows exist that much more peacefully. And the Sun is the Sun. But the handful of stars are solar bright and the Moon is the warmest it’s ever been for him.

And he is so damn lucky.

To have the privilege of living without the weight of being The Strongest.

To stop and smell spring on his way to partake in the latest breaking news.

A new coffee shop.

Bone dry cappuccinos. Colombian espresso. Raspberry macaroons without the threat of curses and fear and death and loss knocking around his skull.

“Good morning! Welcome in.”

What?

The chimes above the door may as well be blow horns. Tearing at the eardrums Satoru is sure are already ruined. The meaningless, polite greeting suddenly holds the gravity of an entire galaxy behind it.

But not because the words are unique.

The voice.

Satoru could be dumb, deaf and blind. He would recognize that voice under any circumstance.

As a baby? He’d know that voice signifies safety.

As a teen? That voice meant becoming a man worth respecting. With morals that would save millions.

That night? That voice meant love. In the cruelest sense of the word.

Then? That voice only spewed lies.

And now? That voice means…it means..

“Don’t be shy, I don’t bite.” Brilliant amethyst eyes melt the ice shackles around Satoru’s feet.

Royal purple. Somewhere between indigo and violet. A warm, heavy cloak when they are looking at you reverently. When they’re trusting. Bright. Honest.

But when they see you as the enemy? The other? Trying to thwart a world they’ve envisioned and worked hard for, those amethyst eyes are more lethal than scorpion venom.

“S-su…Suguru…?” His feet move forward all at once. Nearly impaling himself on the counter. Satoru’s peripheral vision isn’t as sharp, but there is a line. And yet, none of that matters.

None of it fucking matters.

The barista’s thick, inky locks are pulled up like it used to be when they were seventeen. His shoulders are as broad and muscular as they were the last night they spoke. His voice.

His voice

And his eyes. And lips. And smile. The stupid, boyish dimple cratered in his left cheek. With eyelashes long enough to support a fleet of planes taking off the runway.

It’s Suguru.

Suguru Geto.

Not an imposter. Not something so dark and blasphemous, Satoru nearly flattened the Earth to exorcise.

Just Suguru.

And he knows it to be true. Not by his eyes, because they can lie to him now. But his soul and heart would tell him otherwise.

“Suguru..” Satoru tastes a name so foreign to his lips, he nearly chokes on it.

The beautiful boy lets out a gentle chuckle. Flickering down to his name tag before returning eye contact.

“So I’m told.” He shrugs. His long span reaches over to place a porcelain espresso cup beneath the machine nozzle.

“You look like you need something strong. Hard night?”

“Y—yeah.” Say something real, idiot.

“Ahh,” Suguru rolls his plump bottom lip under his teeth. Eyebrows crawling together in genuine concern. And Satoru wishes he could swallow his heart currently beating in his throat.

“Let’s start with an espresso, then. What’s your name?”

The question alone nearly brings Satoru to his knees.

How could he not know?

It’s me, Suguru.

Satoru Gojo and Suguru Geto.

Their names only being a few letters away is a testament to the relationship they shared. They’ve only ever existed as one. As sure as the Sun rising in the east and setting in the west. In lockstep like a custom made door key.

Suguru’s name is…was an integral part of his identity. Not just his vocabulary.

“Uh, Satoru.” Sweaty palms fiddle for his wallet. Anything to dull the searing pain in his chest.

“Satoru…?”

“Yes?” Arctic eyes snap up to meet violet ones. As if the barista spontaneously remembered, Satoru’s flushed lips hang open with naive hope.

But Suguru just quietly rolls the syllables of his name around one more time. Rich on the tongue, he decides. “That’s a nice name.”

“Thanks.” Disappointment weighs heavy on his shoulders.

“The espresso is on the house. What else can I make for you, Satoru?”

And his name sounds sweeter than the pastry he stumbled in here for. He would pay anything. To tuck that velvet voice in a jar and replay it on rainy days, Satoru would give anything.

“A lavender latte.” He flickers to the glass display. “And two of the Kikufuku, please.”

“Done. Have a seat.” Suguru nods at the corner table.

“Take a load off. I’ll bring your stuff over.” His lips lax into an intoxicating smile and Satoru’s world spins.

No more than two seconds after his butt hits the seat, Satoru wedges his cell between his ear and shoulder. Each unanswered ring chips away at his patience.

“Hey normie.”

“Shoko,” Satoru sighs into the speaker. Too relieved to insult her back.

“Long time no speak,” she chides. He can almost hear the pull of her cigarette sizzling against her lips.

“I know.” She’s right, but none of them are speaking right now. They all need a little time.

“Sorry about that. Listen, I’ve got a question.” Satoru chews his bottom lip raw. Suguru’s back is facing him, perfecting his order.

“Don’t sound so tortured about it, shoot.” Shoko swings the door wide open and Satoru barrels through.

“When people come back from the dead, what’s the likelihood of losing all memories?”

“What?” Her tone makes his question sound so egregious he almost rethinks asking it.

Almost.

He doesn’t though. Because the raven-haired barista has flashed his Colgate smile and will be heading over in t-2 minutes. And Satoru…he needs something to hold onto. A life vest to keep him from drowning.

“C’mon Sho, how do memories work when you bring people back from the dead?” Each word is more hushed than the last. A thinly veiled attempt at hiding his insanity.

“…when did you find him?”

The second time today oxygen is taken directly from Satoru’s lungs. How did she know?

“What the hell are you—“

“How is he..?”

“Shoko, I don’t know what you’re talking—“

“He was my friend TOO, Satoru.” His best friend cuts down his silver-tongued lies for the last time.

She’s right.

It’s inhumane to brush it aside. Satoru cannot fathom the pain she had to work through when she lost Suguru. Then Satoru. And Suguru again. It’s unfair for him to be selfish with this.

“This morning.” He concedes.

The doctor mulls his answer over. Short, choppy breaths that sound more relieved than not feather through the speaker.

“Let’s talk tomorrow, my patient is here.” She ends the call before he can protest. The life vest won’t come today. Not from Shoko at least.

As always, Suguru enters with perfect timing. Balancing an espresso, latte and dessert on one forearm. He always did move with the grace of a danseur noble.

“Your treats.” In one fluid motion, a pair of steaming drinks and sweets are lined in front of him in the order they should be consumed.

He is still so thoughtful.

The leash around Satoru’s control snaps in half. His hand darts to Suguru’s forearm just as he turns to leave. His person tilts his head to the side. Quizzical. But kind. And patient. Satoru hasn’t said a word but he knows Suguru would listen to each syllable.

“Do you not…have them?” Satoru can hardly believe the words coming out of his mouth.

“Have what?” Suguru probes, stepping into his grasp.

“The hard nights,” the Strongest retorts. Darting his eyes out of the window as if the two of them are in a realm they don’t belong in.

And maybe they are.

Satoru bites back a fond chuckle when Suguru makes his face. An exaggerated frown with narrowed eyes. He resembles a jaguar most in those moments, and Satoru never let him live it down.

“No,” Suguru starts, shaking his head almost regretfully. “I don’t remember enough to have a sleepless night.”

He could remember for the both of them.

Satoru would spend every minute of every hour of every day for the rest of his life infusing memories into his best friend. Whatever he wanted to know. He’ll speak from sunrise to sunset until he passed on and call it a life well lived.

“What do you…what do you mean?” Satoru pipes up, pulling the barista back when he attempts to leave again.

Suguru’s confusion melts into the warmth Satoru never found a replacement for. No one ever looked at him so tenderly. Grace and patience tailor made just for him.

“It’s a long, bizarre story,” Suguru warns.

“I have time!” Satoru sits up in his seat. Still gripping his forearm.

“We—I, I have all the time in the world now, Suguru.”

His casual laugh is anything but. Fractures in his base. A wobble at the tail end of Suguru’s name.

Satoru is anything but casual.

And Suguru knows it.

The way his eyes soften when he scans the retired sorcerer’s face. He always did read Satoru like a children’s coloring book.

“Sure, I’m on a break anyway.”

Suguru settles into the seat across from him. Meanwhile Satoru digs the pads of his fingers into his thighs. Anything to keep from reaching out and caressing those stunning features that used to keep him (and everyone else) up at night.

He was so stupid back then.

Not letting himself acknowledge the way his body reacted to Suguru. The boy had his body so well trained within the first few days of meeting him.

On any given day all Satoru wanted was to touch him. And feel him. And take him in any way Suguru was willing to give.

Even when he gave, it was not enough.

How could it be?

Suguru’s heart ran deeper than Mariana’s Trench and soared higher than Mount Everest — and it still wasn’t enough to quench Satoru’s thirst.

His visceral need. To live and breathe in the dark haired curse user with striking violet eyes.

It’ll never be enough.

“What’s on your mind, Satoru?” The barista probes. A question with the comfort of being familiar and pain of being foreign all at once.

Satoru offers a lopsided smile. His hand swiping the moisture from the back of his neck.

“Sorry. You remind me of someone I used to know.”

“Mmm,” Suguru’s smile feels nostalgic. “Was he a good person?”

The question is earnest. Almost like he’s trying to learn about himself because his mind has betrayed him.

Satoru gathers a shaky breath. Digging crescent moons into his sweaty palms.

“The best.” He won’t cry today. He refuses to.

“Principled. Moral. So right in his thinking it…” Satoru drops his gaze.

Unable to sustain eye contact with his fondest memory and biggest regret. Just sitting across from him on a sunny Sunday morning.

“Sounds like you liked him, then.” Suguru muses.

“I loved him.” I love you.

“Mmm.” Suguru’s striking lines soften in a way that reminds Satoru why he could never muster the courage to hate him. No matter how many guns were pointed at his head.

An imaginary fork pushes around their words. Like the extra time in the air would let them dry out. Suddenly become devoid of all its meaning.

“Is something wrong?” Suguru breaks the silence and startles Satoru down to the present.

“What?”

“The coffee,” Concern etched into the barista’s face. “Is there something wrong? You’re tearing up—“

Suguru’s hand lands on Satoru’s wet cheek before he has a chance to swipe the rogue tears away.

And he can’t help himself. Both hands snake around Suguru’s wrist. The life vest he’s been desperate for.

Satoru’s lids flutter shut.

And for a moment, albeit fleeting, but present nonetheless — for a moment everything is right.

Satoru and Suguru are 17 again. Riding the high of being strong, the strongest.

They were untouchable.

And Satoru was so helplessly in love.

Greens were emerald, back then. Oranges were saffron. But the Sun was Suguru. And if Satoru was the Moon then he clawed his way to dawn each night, just to get a glimpse of him.

“Sato—“

“I’m sorry. Sorry about that.” Satoru bashfully relinquishes his grip.

Despite its freedom, Suguru’s hand hovers over his cheek. Ready to act if any more tears come.

Of course, he is.

And thankfully, they don’t.

But Suguru’s concern persists. “Just…wait here, okay? I’ll go get some tissues.”

Satoru offers a feeble smile. A half nod in feigned agreement. But the millisecond he disappears around the corner, Satoru is out the door.

He promised he wouldn’t cry today.

And it wouldn’t be the first time he lied to himself.

“Gorgeous.”

Suguru buries his face into a brush of plum blossoms. His morning walk is littered with them and for some reason he feels connected to the blooms.

Almost as if memories from a past life are clawing underwater — desperate to break the surface before the tide crashes in again.

A frustrated breath showers the soft petals grazing his nose.

It’s cruel.

Existing like this is cruel.

To live and breathe and walk next to lives rich with memories. Adorned with hope and love and loss and pain.

Yet Suguru has nothing.

He must’ve been a monster to deserve this punishment. To wake up a blank slate. The letters of his own name had to be learned.

He must’ve been awful.

The chimes above the shop door knock his thoughts loose.

It’s not totally true. Suguru does remember one thing. The only thing from that night the gods saw fit to leave in his reservoir.

The cold.

It seared through him like a sword fit for a king.

Suguru was nearly blinded by the sterile fluorescent lights. The walls leaned away from him. Accusatory. His presence bastardized the delicate line between life and death.

It was unacceptable.

And so, he paid the steep price of life after soul-death with his memories.

It’s unfair how vividly Suguru remembers the campfire eyes that were foreign and yet so inviting. Hovering over him. Salty streams splashed on his face like a summer storm.

“Suguru??” Honeyed tobacco on her voice. Sweet and stringent all at once.

“You’re awake. You’re here. God I—“ Misty mahogany eyes raked his face for another second before she landed her body into his stunned arms.

“W-who are you?” Suguru stammered into her dampened neck. Hugging her just as tight because it’s what his body told him to do.

“Someone who hates you. And loves you more than I could ever hate you.” She was hushed and pressured. Pressing angry, short kisses along his forehead. Sore with a linear cut and stitches that stung.

“You have to go.” The woman stuffed an envelope bursting with yen into his hand. Stuffing a wallet full of IDs and note cards into his other.

“What is all this?” Was the last question he squeezed out to the pretty stranger.

She hissed strict instructions on how to leave the city. Where he came to life was no longer safe. But she emptied her savings into his hands. Because if he just listened to her. If he followed her directions to a tee and make it out of city limits alive, he would be set for the next decade at the very least.

This same memory plagues Suguru’s otherwise empty mind day in and day out. He’s learned to live with the sudden flashback that catches his heart mid-beat. And holds it hostage for a minute or two.

Suguru shrugs the chills sprinting down his spine away. Circling a damp napkin along the counter. Less than a minute before the doors unlock and he can just tell today is going to be one of those—

7:00 AM on the dot.

A familiar wind chime interrupts his train of thought.

Already?

Suguru eyes land on the reason for the prompt melody.

And his souls halts where he stands.

He can’t be real.

A dream maybe? A hallucination?

He must be. The light that halos around him from crown to feet originates in Heaven. Bright enough to pierce lightyears away through earth’s insignificant clouds and blind Suguru in his tracks.

Satoru.

A celestial prince walking among the likes of him.

Wholly unworthy of witnessing something so beautiful. So above the plane of his existence. Suguru doesn’t deserve to breathe around the ethereal being, much less serve him coffee.

But he’ll count his blessings, nonetheless.

“Hard night?” Suguru forces a steady tone to his casual greeting.

He’s anything but casual.

“They always are.” Satoru’s boyish smile is the first sip of warm hot cocoa on a wintery Sunday morning.

Suguru could nibble and suck and roll the demigod’s words over his tongue all day and never grow tired of the taste.

He flips a freshly cleaned espresso mug under the machine. Mulling over the number of times he can claim “it’s on the house” before Satoru realizes he could ask Suguru for anything and it would always be on his dime.

“You don’t sleep very much do you?” The barista probes. Swallowing the elaborate rock formation that somehow materialized in his throat the second Satoru landed the Aegean Sea on him.

Those eyes stretch a million miles and Suguru would happily swim to the end of the earth to experience the entirety of them.

“No.” A sheepish smile curls up Satoru’s full baby pink lips. Baring a 10,000 kilowatt smile that nearly electrifies him to death.

Suguru settles an espresso and lavender latte in front of him. Waving away the outstretched credit card.

“You can call me, you know.” The offer tumbles out of Suguru before he had the wherewithal to edit the frivolous statement.

“What?” Satoru’s gorgeous eyes widen and Suguru digs sharp nails into his sweaty palm.

“Call me.” He’s stupidly bold.

“—When you can’t sleep. I’m not that interesting and don’t have much to by way of advice given that I only started creating memories a couple months ago. But I’m a good listener.” Suguru’s cheeks ascend in degree with each word of his sloppy rant.

“You are…” Satoru corroborates his egregious claims as if it’s truth.

How would he know if he’s any good at listening? They just met yesterday morning.

“So, call me.” Suguru shrugs his shoulders with the familiarity of someone who has known Satoru his whole life.

Before the voltaic being can protest, Suguru scribbles digits that are plastered all over his apartment walls. Spaced repetition of his own phone number for fear that his memory would decide to rip away the little he is currently storing.

Time freezes while Satoru studies the scribbled numbers. His lips form that devastatingly beautiful blue smile more brilliant than his eyes. With the depth of twenty seas combined.

“Yeah, okay.” The angel captures Suguru gaze. “I’ll call.”

And for the first time his new mind can recall, Suguru is dismantled piece by piece. His insides turned over by the searing pain that is disappointment. Because when he watched the mercurial boy leave the shop. And make the same right turn he did yesterday — Suguru’s heart knew.

The phone wouldn’t ring.

And the call would never come.

“Couldn’t exactly have him walking around Shibuya, with everything—“

“I know, but Shoko we can’t…”

Satoru’s voice stalls and he hovers on frustrated feet. Less than 10 paces from facing the love of his life on a Tuesday morning like his world hasn’t been turned upside down.

“We can’t just abandon him here. Alone. Confused. I won’t—“

“What do you want me to do Satoru?” Shoko interjects. Her frustration is palpable, yes, but the point is valid.

Satoru drags in more liters of air than he knew possible. Letting it all out like storm winds in a category 5 hurricane.

“I don’t..I don’t know but I won’t leave him like this, Shoko. I can’t.” His voice couldn’t convince a fly with how shaky it is.

But thankfully, Shoko can read him like a children’s book. She always could.

“Let’s talk about this in person. How soon can you get here?”

“I’ll be on the next flight out.” Satoru perks up. Urgency crashing into him like rip tides.

He eyes the dark-haired barista through the window pane. Adjusting his eyes before fully taking in the boy of his dreams.

And nightmares.

Suguru is vibrant.

In a way that hurts so good you can’t help but come back for seconds. And thirds. Fourths, fifths, whatever scraps he would be willing to give you’d get on your knees and beg for.

Satoru would. Any day.

“Hard night?” The former sorcerer calls out.

“Yeah, but..” Suguru looks up and Satoru relaxes into a lovesick smile. “Good morning.”

A few seconds of wonderfully familiar silence falls between the boys. Suguru flips the espresso cup into place like he was born to do anything.

Anything he touches is artisan. That hasn’t changed in this new universe they exist in.

“You never called, Satoru.” His voice is sweeter than whipped cream. Satoru gnaws on his cheeks to keep from choking on his desire.

“I know.”

“I would’ve come.”

“I know.” And the traitorous tears well up without his consent again.

“Okay, okay.” Suguru is hushed. As if a decibel too loud would break Satoru’s dam.

Beautiful boy.

His dam broke the night Suguru left him on the sidewalk for righteous ideals and the people who would follow them.

It hasn’t been repaired since.

“Lavender latte and something sweet. Back table?” Suguru whispers the order to himself and Satoru’s heart breaks.

“To go, actually.”

The sudden change in routine startles Suguru still. “Oh.”

Satoru rolls his abused lips under his teeth. Shuffling on his feet because it would take nothing for him to stay. And play this new game of life with his soulmate like the rest of it never happened.

He would swallow the pain of his past everyday if Suguru so much as looks at him a certain way.

“Why are you leaving?” Suguru’s brows crawl together in a way that’s so earnest. Satoru could fall to his knees.

“I um…I know a doctor. She’s smart. And m-maybe she can help get your memories back..”

“A doctor?”

Suguru probes quicker than Satoru expected. Given that his response sounded insane to even his own ears.

“Honey brown eyes and hair…” The barista speaks to his hands as if he’s reading from cue cards.

“Satoru this is going to sound crazy.”

Suguru’s eyes light up and Satoru falls deeper in love. Like it’s the logical next step. An obvious response.

“But I feel…did we—did we know each other?”

Those gorgeous, amethyst eyes unravel the heavy chains around Satoru’s heart.

You knew each other.

Loved each other.

Fought for, gave to, sacrificed it all for each other.

Satoru unravels at his battered seams. Only able to hold the facade of a lopsided smile for a few more moments.

“It’s a long, bizarre story.” It hurts to laugh.

“Tell me,” the barista can’t hide his excitement.

“We..we have time now. You mentioned it the other day, Satoru.”

This boy will be the death of him. In every lifetime he’s reborn in.

Satoru doesn’t even try to slap away the hot salty shower lining his sleep deprived eyes.

“An infinity.” He nods. “So don’t…don’t forget about me, Suguru.”

The sun shines through his romantic smile. The stupid, boyish dimple cratered in his left cheek.

“How could I?” Suguru hands over the latte and espresso in to-go cups.

Blissfully unaware that he has already forgotten Satoru once.

And he forgives him. He’s forgiven the special grade for much worse without question.

And Satoru will continue to forgive him.

The memories may be gone.

The curtain may be closed on their first novel together. But if there’s anything Satoru has come to love it’s time.

The Gods saw it fit to give them a little more time and Satoru would rather die than squander it.

“You’re unforgettable, Satoru!” Suguru calls out, just as he exits the small town coffee shop.

Yeah, well.

Maybe in this new lifetime, he will be.

331 notes · View notes

nezuscribe · 2 years ago

Text

𝐩𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐬

summary: in a land where marriage is set in stone at birth and love is but a myth, a girl tries her best to navigate the life she's been born into. when her father assigns her own knight, somebody he trusts to look after her in these dangerous times, nobody would have expected the brave young soldier to twist her story with his, taking your life into a spin that was unforeseen by the fates.

pairing: bakugo katsuki x fem!reader

genre: forbidden love, royalty au, strangers to friends to lovers, comfort, mild angst, fluff

warnings: mdni 18+, all characters are aged up, detailed sex, heavy making out, cunnilingus, unprotected sex, a little bit of a hand job, grinding, all the works lmao, mentions of depressive thoughts, nothing too explicit

notes: reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated!

as always, thank you so much @jadeisthirsting for beta reading this and helping me throughout this fic!

mha masterlist

The bazaars of Afrasiab were unlike any other, and they dimmed in comparison to what the mind could imagine. All of the land in Persia held its animosity, a secret that can only be revealed by sight, but the bazaars there were something no tongue could describe and no ear to relay correctly.

They smelled of lamb and beef kabobs, cooked to perfection, began wafting around the carts of fabrics early in the morning. The mountains of spices were perfectly balanced in their own little plates, laying undisrupted until they caught the eye of curious passersby.

Many streets carried deep underground, for when the bazaar needed continuing and couldn’t be held entirely on top, and the hidden passages held wonders unknown to man.

Unfortunately, however, for somebody seeing these bustling markets for the first time, they tended to be confusing to figure out at the least, and nearly impossible to navigate most of the time.

The young woman who traveled closely with his cloak perched over her head tried to wind through the serpentine stalls, keeping his chin close to her chest as she only watched through the corners of her eyes, careful not to bring attention to herself nor the satchel in her hand. It was all so new to her, every sight she was intaking a far cry from what she was accustomed to seeing. The faint cries of the salesman trying to sell his silver tableware or the santur being played somewhere distant was an overload to somebody who was used to the strange serenity the palace offered.

Everything was a sight to behold. She never came to buy something, only to see. She liked the way this place almost had its own separate language, how it awoke at dawn and never seemed to sleep. She loved how the shopkeepers, always respectful of one another in their boundaries, tried their best to outdo one another in favor of better business.

The way someone shouted to gain the attention of somebody, the way they laced their words with enough enthusiasm to keep the shoppers interested was something she never grew tired of. In comparison to the bleak life that was awaiting her when she got back, these little bits of excitement were enough enrichment to keep her going for a little bit longer.

She took it all in, enjoying the opportunity as she doubted it’d be trusted upon her again, and smiled to herself at the mosaics that lined the curved walls, the dim light the candles offered helped her navigate through the underground bazaar. She looked through all the silverware, the plates painted with utmost care.

She looked through and let her fingers graze above the satin fabrics all dyed a different color. The smells of turmeric and saffron flooded her nose, mixing with the occasional whiff of rose, and she felt as though all these things at once were too compelling alone for a human mind.

No stories nor descriptions could have prepared her for what she was going to experience. It was magical, something surely out of a book. Despite that, however, every minute she spent trying to enjoy the sights was another minute that clicked in her mind mentally.

“Oi,” A gruff voice snapped, jolting her rudely out of her ongoing daydream, “Watch it.”

His eyes shined brighter than the pomegranate seeds you were used to seeing every day. His jaw was carved, his body stiff. He was large, unusually so, and the only time you had seen a man of his size and demeanor was a man heading off to war.

Even with the little bits, you could see of him you could tell that he was simply gorgeous, a crude beauty that nature had somehow created out of her own force. Sure, all the men you were used to seeing were either a couple of years older than you (or so old you wondered how they were even living) and snotty, but you knew that this sort was beyond anything. Had he not been waiting so impatiently for you to talk, you wouldn’t have stumbled to get something out.

“Apologies,” You muttered, adjusting your robes again so that they covered your clothing underneath, not wanting anybody to get a quick glimpse of the tunic underneath, glancing up as you gave him an apologetic grin, “I wasn’t paying attention.”

He nodded curtly, seeming to agree with you as his gaze roamed your face, trying to decipher you for whatever reason as he gave a low grunt.

“It’s alright.” His lips pressed into a thin line, moving past you as he readjusted his hood. You opened your mouth, pausing when you watched his lips twitch, looking left and right as you felt your shoulders shrinking in defeat.

But you knew that he had already seen your face, heard you speak. There was no point in hiding yourself from one stranger if he could already identify you based on this encounter. And seeing how you knew it was dark outside, the hours seeming to have slipped quickly through your fingers, and you had no means of getting out, you gave into the one and only rule you had created for yourself.

“Sir!” You called out, watching as he had almost turned his back to leave, watching as he stopped upon hearing you, “I apologize for interrupting, but,” You looked away for a second, your cheeks heating up under his heavy stare, “I seem to be lost. Would you happen to know the way out? Everything seems to twist together here, and I need to go home,” You paused and then added, “Please.” Hoping not to sound too distressed - even if you were - as you waited for him to say something.

The silence felt heavy despite the hustling happening behind you, and you wondered for a second if you had even spoken loudly enough so that he could hear you on top of all the distant shouts and music.

He seemed to search your face once more, maybe looking for signs of trickery or ill intent. But you seemed desperate, at least you know you sounded desperate, and any attempts of trying to fool him would have quickly dissipated under his scornful gaze. Heaven's grace, you thought to yourself, what must a man do for a living to hold such unwavering suspension?

“It’s alright, I’ll-”

“Follow me.” He murmured, cocking his head in the direction he was originally going as he maneuvered his way through the tight bodies, not waiting for you to give any sign of understanding as you quickly scurried after him, trying your best to not get lost in the thick of the crowd. Despite his tall frame, you doubted it’d be difficult to lose sight of somebody in such a congested area.

You kept a keen eye on the back of his hood, never losing sight of it as you managed to wrangle yourself closer to his side. He was surely not the nicest person you’d met all day, but you were thankful nonetheless for his openness to take you someplace without knowing you all that much (aside from you just bumping into him, of course).

“Thank you so much sir I was so incredibly lost and had no idea wh-”

“You’re a maid for the princess, aren’t you?”

You stopped talking, looking up at him with wide eyes, mouth half agape as you almost acted as if you hadn’t heard his words.

“Close your mouth, you’ll attract attention,” He said as he pushed past people, never meeting your shocked eyes once as he expertly moved through the thicker parts of the stalls. Once he looked down at you, seeing that you didn’t listen to what he had just said, his brows creased down the middle, “Are you deaf?” He snapped and your cheeks heated in embarrassment and you begrudgingly obliged.

“I…I don’t know how you reached such a drastic conclusion.” You said through clenched teeth, but you doubted denying anything after your so obvious reaction would help your case. Proving your thoughts right, the man only snorted, rolling his eyes.

“Don’t act daft,” His eyes keenly followed your hands, focusing on your wrist as he clicked his tongue against his teeth, a tsk following shortly after as he looked back up at you, “Gold? I doubt anything other than a servant to the princess or a concubine to a king would be able to afford such a thing. And wearing it to such a leisurely activity? I’d wager good money that you have a heftier bracelet sitting unattended at home.”

Your mouth ran dry as you paused, not believing how he was able to deduce so much in a short matter of seconds, but you guessed that his calculating look wasn’t only for suspicion. He was reading into you much more than you had initially guessed he was.

“Are you a spy?” You asked, your voice hushed though you wanted to bet a hefty amount that nobody other than him would be able to hear.

“Far from it.” He heaved a laugh, looking around every second or so, his eyes darting all over the walls as though he was in search of something. Or maybe as if something was in search of him.

“Then…what are you?”

His eyes fleeted down to you, his lips pursing as they began their curious journey.

“Never mind what I am.” He answered back, his hand wavering above your back as he veered you to the right, saving you from colliding into somebody who came barreling from somewhere you hadn’t even noticed.

“How - how can I trust you won’t harm me?” He laughed again at your naiveté-laced question.

“Had I planned on harming you, I would have done so already,” He made a sharp left turn, “I apologize to be the one to tell you this, but you mustn't be the princess's favorite maid.”

Your brows furrowed, your lip turning downward as you asked him why. There was no point in pretending, or at least to some degree, if he was so willing and correct in reading you.

“Sending you away without any form of security is a clear indication.”

You huffed, looking elsewhere even though he seemed victorious in his statement.

“Stay safe, m’lady.” He said finally, giving you a nod as you stammered to get your thoughts collected.

And you would have pressed him further on how he had such a quick wit, on who exactly he was, and how he had managed to decipher you faster than anybody you had met in your lifetime, but he had brought you to the opening of the bazaar. And before you could even thank the stranger for leading you here, let alone question him on anything else, he had managed to slip back into the crowd. His brown cloak mixed in with everybody else, and no matter how hard you craned your neck, it was as though you were searching for a lost shell in the ocean.

—

“Y/n!”

Damn it.

You winced at the shrill shriek as you felt your entire body tense up at the sound. You were so close, too. Just a couple feet in front of those double doors and you would have been safely shielded away from the wandering eyes of the palace.

“...Yes?” You slowly said as you turned around, scurrying off to take your robes off, the royal garments underneath beginning to bleed through as you tried to hide the evidence behind your back, but to no avail.

Roshanak, though she was far cry from her namesake, trotted up to you, snatching the tattered clothes out of your hands as her nose flared.

Her face was red, beet red, as she looked back at you, seething. Her dark brown curls were tucked away under a loose scarf, peeking through as they fell into her face. Although her eyes were usually calm, warm in tone, and relaxing to look into, they looked almost molten right now. The crow's feet at the corner of her eyes tugged upwards as she raised her eyebrows.

The rose petal she had patted across her lips and cheeks in the morning was almost gone now, but the little bit remaining seemed to only add more color to her already heating face. Had this not been a recurring thing you would have been terrified, but, alas, you only looked away in vexation.

“You were out. Again.” It wasn’t a question more than a statement.

You nodded slowly, angry at yourself that you got caught, clutching your hands together as you felt your head sink in regret. No matter how many times you ventured out of the palace walls, they always seemed to come back to find you, hiding you away when you were fingertips away from knowing the true world. A real shame, you always told yourself, to have land dedicated to your family, yet never know what it truly holds.

“Y/n…why?” Had she not taken care of you for the twenty years she had, you would have guessed she was your mother. She could have acted the part. That you were sure of. You opened your mouth to speak, but she didn’t even give you a chance to explain yourself. Though, it’s not like your reasoning had changed all that much.

“The last time - okay - I forgave you. And the time before that, too! But you are pushing the limits, Y/n. You cannot keep expecting me to keep this a secret forever, can you?” Which directly translated to: you can’t expect your father to not find out, right?

“Roshanak-”

“No,” She cut you off, shaking her head as she held onto your cloak tightly, wrinkles forming in their presence as she shakes her head fiercely, her brown eyes scorching unlike never before as she raises a finger to pause you, “No more guilt tripping me. I am only so much of a person to be taken advantage of.”

“But-”

“No! You listen to me,” She snapped, “This is a dangerous game you’re playing. Sneaking out? Without notifying anybody? How can I know you’ll come back? How should I report to your father that his daughter has slipped out and is now missing? On my watch? And what if somebody saw you and recognized you - then what do I do?”

“I-”

“Quiet!” You shrunk at her curt and furious yell, sore fire burning in your eyes, shaming its way across your face as you tried not to yell. A proper woman never yelled. Never in the middle of a hallway, at least, “God help me,” She muttered, her eyes looking up like she was trying to find Him within the ceiling, “Y/n, what will I do with you? All these years for nothing? How am I supposed to make you ready to be wed when-”

“I don’t want to be wed!”

Roshanak almost dramatically gasped, looking wildly around, hoping that nobody had heard your outburst, she went to snap back again but you didn’t let her, “I hope, Roshanak, I pray that every time I go out, that every time I leave this godforsaken place, that somebody recognizes me-”

“Y/n, stop this-” She tried to warn you but you continued.

“That they know me and they hate me. So that if they do something, if they hurt me, kill me-”

“Y/n!” She yelled, no longer caring about how loud she was because you didn’t seem to care either.

“That at least I wouldn’t be shamed to my grave for doing it myself!”

She choked out a cough, her eyes wide as your lips trembled, your chest heaving up and down as you tried to control yourself after your outburst. Your cheeks were wet with tears, gods, you weren’t ever going to get out of that habit, were you? And your hands were shaking, and it seemed like your lungs were contracting up and down, up and down. It wasn’t the first time you had planned on saying these exact words, but damn you, this was the first time you said it out loud.

What had set you off? You wondered aimlessly to yourself. Had it been the awful morning full of your father listing off potential suitors? The way the stranger at the bazaar had completely seen right through you, or the insurance of the people around you on pretending as though you no longer were a person but a mere vessel for carrying out their decade-old plans?

“Y/n! Roshanak!” A third party interrupted the heavy air that sat in the middle of your two bodies, cutting through everything that was left unsaid as both of your attention went to something at the end of the hall. Roshanak gave you a single look, one that simply told you that she was undoubtedly not done with the conversation, as she turned to give her customary bows to the king. You quickly made do with wiping at your cheeks hiding any remnants of what had just perspired from the awaiting eyes that were soon to come as you wiped at your nose with the bottom of your sleeve.

“Shāhanshāh,” She muttered the words of respect to the king, bowing her head down so low to the ground that you wondered if her lips were brushing upon the cold stone.

“Baba,” You said through clenched teeth, your own complimentary greeting to the king as he gave you a warm smile. If only he knew what you were screaming about moments ago, that smile on his lips would surely have fallen by now.

“Y/n,” He said adoringly, his beard bristling upwards as his smile grew upon seeing your face, “I have exciting news. You will - Roshanak,” He paused, his eyes falling upon her clenched fist, “What is that you have in your hands?”

If she was startled, she did well at hiding it.

“Oh…just some tattered clothes one of my girls didn’t need anymore. I was just about to throw it away. My king,” She gave him a swift nod, and you felt your heart rate slow down a bit at her lie, thankful that she was still aware enough not to tell him the truth right now, “Princess.” She gave you one too, her eyes never leaving yours as she swiftly left, leaving you and your father alone to have some privacy.

He smiled warmly, giving her a nod in return as her figure retreated from view, her pattering footsteps no longer echoing across the walls as your father turned back to you, his kingly robes fallen behind him in a cascade of beautiful crimson as his smile grew once again.

“As I was saying, you will be having some new company.”

You felt your eyes squint in confusion, lips curling to the sides as you began profusely shaking your head. Gods, not another suitor, please, anything but another prince ready to pounce on you.

“But Baba,” You tried to keep the wavering of your voice to a minimum, knowing that after this long day it sounded anything but confident, “I don’t need new company. I have Roshanak and the girls, they fill up my time plenty. And I’m still deciding between the Prince of Tehran and the Crown Prince of Persepolis. I…” He held up a hand, cutting your rambling off with a knowing grin. Had you not known any better he looked more like a bazaar salesman rather than a king - too jovial for the position.

“It’s not a new servant - nor a swain, collect yourself.” He snapped at you, his voice commanding and suddenly mirroring a king’s rather than a father's.

“I’ve noticed that some tension has been building up between some cities near us, nothing to worry about,” He assured but tensions between cities were always something you worried about, “But I felt as though there is a significant lack of guards in the palace, at least, guards that serve to protect you.” He grinned, already trying to get you to see where he was going but all you were getting at was bewilderment.

“And this means…?”

“That you will be having your own guard now. Not one that stands outside our door, but one who accompanies you wherever you go.”

If there was a prize for having the worst way of delivering news, your father would surely have won it a couple of years ago.

“I,” You paused, rubbing your aching forehead as you practically felt an aching forming, “Baba, this isn’t the most promising idea-”

“Of course it is!” He clamored, clasping his hands together as his rings clinked together, “You need protection in this growing political climate. And anyway, I’ve only picked the best of the best. In fact,” He looked behind him, but you already felt as though you knew where this was starting to lead to, “He’s here-”

“He’s here?” You exclaimed, trying to keep your whisper-yell down to a minimum but you didn’t know how much the echo traveled.

“Yes, azizam, he’s here. Katsuki,” He yelled out, the shout bouncing off the high arches as you winced at the volume, “Come out!”

Before you could even disagree with this idea, that you were only wearing your simple robes and not made up for company, you could hear the loud thumps of leather shoes upon stone, clothes ruffling together as a shadow began to form of the man who your father seemed more than enthusiastic to show off to you. Almost as if he had just won an irreplaceable accolade for his daughter.

You couldn’t conceal the little cough of shock you let out when the man came into view, your father sending you a confused glance as you apologized under your breath, covering your mouth with your hands as you felt the blood drain from your face.

The man, the very one you had seen in the bazaar, was just a few feet in front of you.

He looked much different, though. Those robes had been ditched and instead, the bright red of the palace colors shined bright on his tunic. His hair was completely out, and you could see how it resembled the color of hay and straw. His frame, which had seemed so intimidating before, was clear to you now; tall and slender yet muscular, something that all knights should be. You could tell easily that his long legs allowed him to be agile when he wanted to, but his sturdy arms were perfect for carrying a weapon. You could even notice how his sword was tucked away in the sheathe, but it was noticeable, it should have been. Everything about him reeked of contained power, and you wondered how such changes could have altered his appearance so much.

And though he tried to hide his stupefaction, agreeably better than you had, nothing could have concealed the way his eyes widened momentarily, blazing a bright red as the gold bracelet he had mistakenly identified as a simple token for a maid shined brightly in the flickering candlelight from the hallway.

“He’s ranked the highest-ranking soldier in our military. I’ve seen him in action, too,” Your father slapped his back in a proud gesture, “And I’ve spent time with him to know that he’s a suitable man for protecting you.”

You’d heard of him, how could you not have? Every story and rumor that seemed to slip from the noble mouths were either of the scandalous escapades of people ranked in your circle, or of the young knight who seemed to have stumped the Greek army with a single slash of his sword. The Greeks called him the rival of Achilles, a man who wielded the bow and arrow better than Apollo and the soldier who slain an entire army. The people around you just referred to him as the Savior of Persia.

“You're too kind, my liege.” He muttered in thanks, his cheeks glowing a dusted pink as he continued to bow down out of respect.

You swallowed thickly, watching as the man held his head down in respect. But you could see that his gaze flickered to yours, his brows scrunched up so that there were three lines down the middle as he put the pieces quickly together.

“Princess,” He bid his respectful greetings, despite the fact that you two had already met hours ago. His low voice rattled deep inside your head, and you could only pray that he was a man that kept quiet, on top of all his other achievements.

You watched as he reached for your hand, his larger ones almost enveloping yours. His fingers were large yet gentle as they held your hand, the calluses on your palm a stark comparison to the soft and manicured nails you had, a clear difference of class. And you watched as he brought it up to his lips, pressing a chaste kiss on the back of them to let it go, properly though, so that you didn’t get offended. You felt a lingering blaze where his lips had just been, and you wished you could have brought your hand up to the light to see if he had done any sort of magic to it.

Your father tensed his neck as he stared at you, waiting for you to do your own greetings as you stammered, sending him an apologetic glance as you looked at the man.

“Sir,” You ducked your down, hoping that not only would it seem more different, but it might do good in hiding the true sentiments you might have given away had you looked him dead-on, “I’m honored.”

He nodded, and your father seemed pleased with your words because his displeased look was quickly wiped off of his face as he grinned boastfully.

“The honor is all mine, princess,” The man stood up, his eyes focused on you, a thousand tales swimming behind their crimson color as he bowed his head down to you, crossing his arm over his chest, covering his heart, pledging to you, “I am here to serve and protect you. Anything you need, please let me know.”

And with that, your night shifted. No, perhaps not even that single night. After that, it seemed that your entire world began to spin in the opposite direction.

—

The palace was soon awakened from its slumber, it seemed, as it became buzzed with the news of a new knight. Especially one as venerated (and captivating) as he was. All your handmaidens could talk about for the past several weeks, more or less squeal, was how they were going to try to swoon him. But every time you snickered, knowing their little bursts of excitement were clearly heard by the man right outside your door.

And you knew you were being petty, looking away in annoyance whenever one of you girls went up to him with a dopey smile on their face, they had the opportunity to. Of course, they’d be scorned for it later, but their punishment was to do more laundry and spend less time socializing with her friends. Your liberties of choosing had been signed off for you ever since you were born, and ever since then, they’ve been growing thinner and thinner.

Your knight didn’t say a lot of things, especially not about your first interaction with each other, and for that, you were appreciative. Honestly, you could have listed off all the time you two had spoken on two hands and had some fingers remaining.

You couldn’t imagine having somebody by your side every hour of the day and talking erratically at all times. If anything, he was stoic. He didn’t say anything unless spoken to or unless absolutely necessary, and sometimes you wondered if he too was growing tired of these stone walls and the archways. There is only so much of the palace that can be seen until it all grows repetitive.

“He doesn’t talk much, does he?” Roya exclaimed, one day as she dotted roses all over your neck and wrists. You giggled at her exasperation, and with the way all the other girls seemed to, unfortunately, agree with her.

“No,” Laleh said with a heaving sigh, delicately setting the necklace down upon your neck as she angled it looking at the mirror, “He doesn’t.” She seemed to wilt at the words, her smile shrunken seeing how she was so used to men dropping at their feet for her.

“Come on,” You said, still trying to control your laughter, patting their arms as they looked down at you, “I doubt this is the end of the world, or as you’re trying to make it out to be.” Roya let out a groan and Laleh hurriedly nodded her head in agreement with Roya’s response.

“But it is! He’s so decorated!-”

“And handsome… he is so incredibly handsome…” Laleh said dreamily as she interrupted Roya, giving her an apologetic smile as she continued.

“He can protect and fight - I’ve heard he’s the best fighter in all of Persia. They say that his strength rivals Darius, maybe even stronger. And he can read incredibly well too; all the tales of the Shahnameh, he’s had them all memorized! Y/n, he’s better than any of the princes and nobles this land has to offer. Having him as a suitor, well, having him as a suitor would only be but the best thing to happen to a woman- '' She droned off as she saw your smile fall a bit, “Well, a woman of our status. You, however, my princess, deserve a prince!” Though she was quick to recover, it didn’t cover the fact that she was right.

“Yes…a prince.” You muttered, spitting the last word out as you balanced your chin on the palm of your hand and dejectedly sulked. The last one you had seen, merely a week ago, had been insistent on seeing you dance for him. He was turned away immediately. And the one before him had tried to sneak his hand up your skirt, but Katsuki had quickly slapped his hand away, giving the man a welt and a large bruise that set him weeping the entire horse ride home.

It seemed that once a man was bestowed the title of prince he no longer remembered what it was like to act human. As if every normal thing he had done once before was cast away and his only intention in life was now to torment women into marrying him.

“Maybe this one’s better!” Laleh said, trying to cheer you up as she angrily swatted at Roya’s arm.

Yes, maybe this one was better. But given your luck these past few months, the man you were going to meet today was anything but a man. Maybe even worse.

“Yes, in fact, last night I prayed that he would be!” Roya said, and although it might not have been taken as a joke, it did its part in making you smile a bit, giving them both a weak and pitiful laugh as you secured the bracelet around your wrists.

Laleh finished the remaining bits of your dress, tightening up the back as she dusted it off, careful that the ruby color shined at any angle, that you looked radiating at any possible angle.

You eyed the window, the sun right in the middle of the horizon, a sign of noon. You gave them both a thankful smile, one that didn’t quite meet your gaze as you patted them both on the shoulders.

“Khoshgelam,” Beautiful, Roya muttered with pride, giving you a tender smile as you ducked your head down in embarrassment, never used to the kind words they muttered before you were sent in to meet a prince, knowing that some of them were really only to help you get through the day.

“Tashakor,” Thank you, “Roya, Laleh.” You gave them each a small nod, “And perhaps you are correct, maybe this one is better than all the ones before.” They both nodded with excitement, something that will surely be ruined in a couple of hours for now as they led you to the door, opening it for you as you gave their hands a tight squeeze.

You were met with the big back of the guard, watching as he turned around at the noise, his eyes falling upon yours as the two girls behind you practically swooned once again. He was gorgeous.

“Princess, are you ready?” He grunted out and you nodded, giving the two girls your final look of desperation as they waved you off, watching as your two figures retreated in the dark hallway, your footsteps dimming down until they could no longer see you.

The two of you walked in silence, just as you had always done, as you stared at your hands. It was exhausting to have to find somebody who was humanly decent. Everybody you had met so far was horrible, and though you were trying your best to be optimistic, the rumors surrounding the man you were about to meet were only adding more to your growing trepidation.

The man beside you never said a word, and you didn’t expect him to. But right now, you knew that if there was somebody who knew at least something more than just gossip about this potential suitor, it would be Katsuki.

“You know Saum, no?”

It had been the first time you had asked him a question, especially so randomly, and he almost stopped as he tried to understand what had just happened. You hadn’t uttered more than a couple of words to him these past few weeks he had been serving you, so this question you had asked so suddenly made him almost think he had gone insane. But looking down at you to find your curious eyes searching for him, he cleared his throat, getting ready to respond.

“I know of him, princess.” He said gruffly and you nodded weakly, your eyes never leaving the end of the hallway, your dress dragging behind you as you tried to calm your breathing down. You could only do this routine so many times before it mentally got to you.

“What do you know of him?” You questioned, looking up at his face to see in momentarily scrunch up he could have seen the horror that flashed across your eyes at his questionable reaction because he was quick to regain his composure.

“He’s a naval officer.” He said, which is something that you already knew. You scoffed in mock annoyance, rolling your eyes as you shook your head, dissatisfied with his bleak answer.

“Anything else?” You pressed, watching as he scratched his chin, obviously trying to hold back on saying something.

“That’s all I know of, princess.”

You rolled your eyes again, huffing as you realized you could never get anywhere with this man. He always referred to you by your title, gave responses no longer than ten words long, and filled the awkward silence with his even quieter demeanor.

“You’re lying to me.”

He paused, his eyes wide with shock as his mouth parted and he closed it.

“I would never lie to you, princess.” He retaliated quickly, and had he not been the towering brute that he is, you would have thought the reaction had come from a child who was indeed caught in the act of lying.

“Then why do you try to hide something? You must surely know something about him to not be saying anything.” He knew he was horrible at hiding the truth, he was raised to always be transparent.

“I,” He sighed, running a hand through his hair as he sucked on his bottom lip, debating whether or not to continue this conversation. But one look at the pleading look that was laced all over your features and he gave in, knowing that you were desperate after so many failed attempts with the failures that had the nerve to call themselves a prince, “I’ve only heard stories, princess, and I don’t know which ones hold more truth.” He paused.

“Which is…?”

The knight sighed once more, showing more emotion than you’ve ever seen him display as he looked away, anywhere but your awaiting eyes that held so much worry and fright that it reminded him of a lamb being sent to slaughter.

“It’s merely a rumor, princess, so don’t base your judgment on him simply on my words. But,” He winced, his hard gaze breaking for a second as he breathed heavily out his nose, “I had overheard some of my men talking a while ago that he’s an arrogant prince, but,” He looked down for a second before he looked back up at you, a ghost of a smile on his face as you felt yourself ease a little bit at the strangely welcoming sight, “I doubt there has ever been a humble prince.”

You laughed softly, the sound was something that made his barely visible smile grow even more. The tension he could easily see in your shoulders lessened just a tad bit. You said nothing as you waited for him to continue.

“He’s a womanizer, or at least he tries to be,” You giggled at that too, something you were quite used to at this point, “And according to whispers, he doesn’t have the best table manners.”

You pretended to be shocked, even letting out a dramatic gasp as you covered up your mouth.

“He’s sloppy?”

“Disgustingly so, I’m afraid.”

Your smile grew even more at his words, a loud and unlikely laugh falling from your lips as even you seemed shocked at your unexpected outburst. Your fingers stopped their anxious tapping on your forearms as you felt the tension that had been prickling its way through your chest stop, the fear that you had felt these past few hours diminishing as the knight beside you chuckled deeply.

“I feared that might be the case,” You confessed to him, “Thank you, though,” You said as you looked up at him, meeting his gaze as you cracked a little grin, “You've been the first to openly tell me that.” He gave you a small nod in return, pausing as you stopped in front of the large double doors, where the prince was waiting just behind them.

You took a deep breath, feeling as though some of that dread was starting to come back.

“Must I go?” You stalled, your hands lingering above the wood of the door as you glanced over at him. In these three minutes you had been able to talk to him more than you had in the past weeks you had known him, and strangely so, he had been able to tell you more about the man you were about to meet than anybody else had in that short amount of time.

“Yes, princess.” He told you and you scoffed in pity for yourself, tracing the delicate patterns etched into the wood as he spoke again.

“Don’t fret too much about him however, he’s not as strong as he boasts he is. And… princess?” He called out, his voice a little louder so that it caught your attention before you entered the dining hall, “If anything were to happen, I am there to serve you.”

And though it was in his duty, something he was sworn in to say to you, that was the first time in your twenty years of living that you had actually felt safe. Call it guilelessness or the fake hope you held that somebody truly seemed to care, but that was the day that you acknowledged that your father, for once in his life, had made a good decision in making him your knight.

—-

It seemed that after that night (and no, Saum indeed was not the perfect match), the distance between you and Katsuki had significantly shortened. And while it was still difficult to get him to open up and talk, it seemed that the more you pressed him about random topics the more lenient he got with you.

This change was so apparent, even, that others started to notice too. You could pick up on the servants and their loud whispers whenever you and Katsuki would be walking around the hallways - him accompanying you to make sure you didn’t try to do anything outlandish - and gossiped about the way you two stood significantly closer to each other than was deemed socially appropriate.

And sure, maybe they were right in some aspects. For one, you don’t know why a part of you ignited in unknown flames when you saw him smiling the smile he only reserved for you when he talked to a maid you had never seen before, that was something that even you knew was wrong to feel. And you couldn’t forget the time, no matter how much you ached when you saw him whispering sweet nothings into the ear of another girl, his eyes falling upon yours as he quickly moved away from her, his cheeks dusted in a deep pink as he apologized profusely. You hate how you reveled in your pathetic glory when he came up to you afterward, steering you away from the scene with a hand barely apparent on your back, profusely apologizing for acting so unprofessional.

So, you let them gossip. You could have shut it down sooner, but in all honesty, you liked what they had to say. Sometimes, when they spoke of him, you couldn’t help but wonder if their words for once held any truth. Did he actually stare longingly at you whenever there was a feast, watching with fire in his eyes when a prince or nobleman tried to woo you into a conversation? No, surely not. And did he only laugh full heartedly when he was with you, a sight nobody else had the grave of seeing? No, no, of course not. Surely you couldn’t be that funny.

“‘Suki,” You said one day, the name you had now given him freely flowing off your tongue as you two walked in the rose garden, “I have a request.”

He ducked his head down, the sun making his hair almost seem like gold as he walked with his hands behind his back. This is where you thought him to be the most regal, his most beautiful state of being. The wind flowed through his hair, the strands moving east, his face not as stiff as it usually was. The royal red tunic and trousers sat comfortably on his toned skin, hugging him in a way that made you feel terrible for lusting after it as much as you did. In this carefree environment, he no longer embedded a knight, but a person who you could look up to as a friend.

“Anything for you, princess.”

You sighed in fake irritation at the title, telling him many times to just refer to you as everybody else in your inner circle did, but he always stuck to the formalities. You understood why he didn’t want to cross over any lines, but it made getting to know him better that much more difficult.

“Take me to the bazaar.”

“Ah, that, princess,” He grunted, giving you a stern and unwavering look, “I cannot do.”

“But you said anything!” You clamored, your voice still not loud to raise attention, as a pout formed on your lips as you huffed again, your arms crossing across your chest as you continued to walk. You let your left hand glide across the flowers, delicate as to not harm any of the petals.

“Princess,” He tried to bargain, handsome face pulled into a set frown as he tried to get you to look at him, “The bazaar is too perilous of risk to take. I can never plan a single thing when I have no idea who or what I’m going to endure.”

Your frown grew at his words, even though you knew what he was trying to say, and stopped at the pomegranate tree as he stopped with you, his sword thumping against his thigh as his shadow cascaded over the red fruit.

“But I’ve been there before….” You miserably muttered, hearing him let out a snort as he crossed his arms across his chest, shaking his head at the thought.

“And I don't know how you never got caught,” He admitted, trying to sound tough and rigid but a little chuckle escaped his lips, “It’s a great deal of danger if you put yourself in, princess; going there with no guards, telling nobody where you were.”

You plucked a ripe pomegranate off, holding it up in the sun as you took in its deep crimson shade, turning it around as you felt its smooth texture underneath your fingers. It was a favorite of yours, and you had requested a while ago to have a whole section of the gardens dedicated to the fruit.

You dug your thumbs into it, groaning a little as you tried to crack it open but to no avail. Wordlessly, he extended his hand out to you, a noiseless exchange as you placed the pomegranate in his hands, turning around to watch him as he snapped it open with no difficulty, no strain seen on his face as he held the two halves back out to you.

The ruby seeds glistened, and you plucked a few out, munching on them as the crunch of the seeds filled the silence.

“Tashakor,” You muttered with your mouth full of the fruit, smiling a little bit at the tart and sweet taste of them. He gave you a small nod, eyeing the fruit as your fingers became stained with the red juice of the pomegranate, walking alongside you as you carelessly ate.

“Would you like some?” You offered, holding out the half you hadn't touched yet as he quickly shook his head with târof, the complimentary way of refusing something out of politeness. You smile to yourself at his little action.

“Oh, come on, it’s good. Really good.” You obliged, holding it out further to him as you waved the half around, trying to tempt him. Although he was a man of honor and sound reason, refusing something from a royal more than once was unforeseen and rather unsophisticated. So he sighed, giving up as he gently plucked the fruit out of your hand, muttering a quiet thanks as your smile grew wider.

“Is it to your liking?” You said, your words muffled as you tried not to talk and chew at the same time.

“Extraordinarily so.” He said, chewing thoughtfully as his lips became stained red the more he ate. You tried to look away as you felt your cheeks heating up at the sight.

“So…‘Suki,” You said, your elbows purposely bumping into him as you smiled a little bit to yourself, the cool breeze of the upcoming winter biting eagerly at your skin. You swallowed a couple of seeds as you looked at him, “No bazaar?”

“No bazaar.” He repeated, though his focus was intently on getting a couple of the ruby seeds out.

“And no hunting?”

He grunted out a coarse laugh, his face looking nonchalant as he shook his head again.

“I wasn’t aware you were appreciative of the sport.” He notes, glancing over at you as you shrugged, your fingers mindlessly running across the bumpy seeds as you let out a longing sigh.

“I’m appreciative of anything that gets me out of here.” The words tumbled out of your mouth, your eyes drooping a bit as your steps became slower. The times you spent in the gardens, depressingly so, was the only excitement you seemed to have in your day.

His smile fell at your statement, watching the way you seemed to shrink in on yourself.

He was good at noticing things, it was something he took pride in. But by the time he had gotten to know you, the princess who lived the lavish life everybody told him about, only seemed to be a myth. Sure, your bed was warm and your maids ready at your beck and call, but behind the jewels and glamor of royal life, your face held a different story. Early on, he took note of the way your smile never reached your eyes. Your laugh never reached more than an octave in pitch, and you always seemed to be wary of the people around you. Everything you did seemed to be done as if walking on eggshells, and if this was the life everybody said was perfection, he didn’t see any point in wanting to live in it.

Which is why, after a couple of interactions, he felt a part of him soften when it came to you. You were thoughtful in places most people would have grown senseless. You never lost your humanity, nor your compassion when it came to both people you knew and strangers you’ve never met. He observed silently how you would talk to people, your voice laced with care as you gave them every bit of attention. He notices how you’d always save a plate full of traits for him, always managing to find where he was, no matter how dense the crowd of people was, as you delivered it to him with a smile, stating; “you looked grumpy, though this might help.”

“As much as I’d like to take you hunting over the bazaar, I doubt your father would be too fond of the idea,” Katsuki admitted solemnly and you nodded bitterly in agreement, stopping in your tracks as you continued to look forward.

You took in a deep breath, your hands clasped together as a troubled look seemed to overtake your features. He waited patiently for you to gather your thoughts, not saying anything as you gnawed on your bottom lip, seemingly going back and forth between a thousand ideas all at once.

“Katsuki…?” Your voice was faint, barely there, almost swept away by the breeze as you stopped, not saying anything else. You let the seconds tick by until you heard him let out a deep hum, the sound acknowledging that he had heard you.

There were only so many times you called him by his first name: in front of others, an intimidation tactic used to scare a potential suitor, or when you were so timid to talk that you needed to ground yourself down by conceding mainly to yourself that he was there beside you.

“What if I,” You paused again, swallowing your words as you glanced over at him, your eyes quickly fleeting away under his heavy gaze as your fingers gripped tightly onto the fabric of your skirt, the silk wrinkling under your ministrations as your lips trembled, “What would you do if I ran away?”

He could feel his stomach churn uncomfortably at your words, his brows creasing and eyes squinting in your direction as you refused to look him in the eyes. You were notorious for asking spontaneous questions, questions that had nothing to do with a conversation, but he’d be a fool if he disregarded this as just one of your usual queries.

“Then I’d come to find you, princess.” It wasn’t a warning, nor was it something he said to try and scare you. It was the bare truth and something that the two of you knew was something he’d never rest until he fulfilled it.

“You wouldn’t help me?” You questioned, your words soft and fragile as you searched for anything in his gaze that gave away from his usual, stoic expression.

“I’m here to serve and protect you, princess, not to aid you in doing such a thing.”

Your hopeful expression fell, turning cold and void as you scoffed, hating yourself for thinking that he’d ever agree to such a thing. He was a knight before anything else, not a friend and most certainly not a caring companion. Gods, you were so foolish to think that he’d even entertain the idea. Why would he? Everything he’s been put to do was to go against that very idea. No matter how much he may have cared about you as a person didn’t expel him from allowing you to do that.

No matter how much you pretended that underneath all his cold exterior was a person who cared, you knew that deep down, he was a man of honor and of valor. And caring for people beyond necessity was something he wasn’t made to do.

And, to a high degree, you knew you were being petty. Maybe even obnoxious as you stormed off. But was it so wishful to hope that you had finally made a friend? Someone who you could trust enough to help you escape a life you wished you had never been into? Maybe so, but you were always the dreamer and you never knew when to stop.

“Right, right,” You mumbled, shaking your head as you hurried away, hearing his footsteps behind you as he tried to match your pace, “Stupid, stupid, why would he? Of course not,” You said to yourself, throwing the empty pomegranate shell on the soil as you turned over to look at him, putting on a fake smile that both of you knew was empty as you told him; “Please don’t mention what I told you to anybody else. And…please don’t come after me. I pray you have enough confidence in me to know that I’d be able to find the way to my room by myself.”

“But princess-” He started but you shook your head, already turning around as you scoff angrily to yourself, more in annoyance than anything else,

“If only he didn’t steer a ship on top of everything else he could do - then I’d sail my way out of this miserable place.”

—-

Late when the months turned frigid and white littered the ground, you decided that with help or no help, you were going to leave. You didn’t know if you wanted to go north or south, where was the most suitable option for you, all you knew was that you needed out.

It stung a part of you, a part that you didn’t want to admit was there, at his blatant rejection of your proposal. You had hoped that some part of him was open to the idea, that maybe after seeing what the real treatment was like behind these palace walls he’d bend a little bit more to your wishful thinking, but you knew that being hung up on the idea would only hinder you more.

You decided early on in your plan that there was only one night you could do it, shab-e yaldā, the night of the winter solstice. It was extraordinarily risky, you knew that. The palace was going to be swarming with guests, all celebrating the longest night of the year, but you knew that this prolonged night of darkness would be the only one that would hide you enough from the prying eyes of the outside world longer than any other night could.

Weeks leading up to your makeshift plan, you began to take things you decided you would need in your journey. Cold clothes that would protect you against the harsh winters the north held, gold coins that were acceptable anywhere, and food that wasn’t perishable in a few weeks' time. You stuffed them all in a saddle bag you had managed to find in the stable once, one that was large enough to hold all of the things you needed, and did well in hiding it whenever Roya or Laleh came into your room.

You tried to distance yourself from Katsuki as much as possible, only speaking to him when necessary, avoiding any attempts he made at conversation with a curt Sorry, I’m late to my meeting with the prince, or some other pathetic lie to steer away from him. You knew deep down that what you were doing was unfair to him, after all, he was only proving to do his job, but you couldn’t help that vine of anger tangle around your heart and mind until it told you directly what to do.

He seemed to get the memorandum after some time, no longer attempting to make jokes to bring a smile to your face, and not letting his hand linger on your back or arm whenever he tried to steer you towards or away from something. And you were fine with that, more than fine, it was only going to sting less when you left, knowing you’d most likely never be able to see him again. You’d take the hurt now rather than have it wrangle your mind for years to come.

So, when the longest night of winter came, you were ready for any and all problems that were going to come your way.

You let Laleh and Roya do your makeup and get you prepared as they usually would, not wanting to startle them and say you’d do it yourself. You had mapped out what hallways and exits to take, and places that had the least amount of people and guards. You had written a note that you’d be putting on your bed, explaining what you had done in brief detail and that if they were to send anybody, they’d never be able to find you (in hindsight).

You told the two girls to leave, that you had a couple of things you needed to finish before you came down. You made them promise you that they’d tell Katsuki not to lead you to the dining hall, that you’d be wanting to walk unaccompanied. If they had any questions, they didn’t voice them.

The music was already beginning to drift upwards to your room, the loud shouts and laughter from visitors all over the land creating an ambiance that you knew you were going to miss. But you shook your head at the thought, not wanting to go off track when you were so close to freedom.

You quickly got out of the dress they had so carefully put you into, hanging it up as you scrub at your face with water, taking any remnants of makeup off as you tried to look as inconspicuous as possible. Your mind wandered off, without you knowing it, to the first time you had unknowingly met Katsuki and what he had told you. How he had so expertly pointed out your gold bracelet and had been able to set you apart from everybody else in the bazaar. So you did well in taking any and all of your jewelry off, shedding anything that had to do with your royal title, and leaving them off at your nightstand.

Everything seemed to be going smoothly, your bag was packed to the brim, and you had found a robe and shawl that did an excellent job of hiding your face. You glanced one last time at your room, the only place you really knew, and felt like it was now or never. So with your hand on the doorknob turning it down and getting ready to leave, you did so with a determined look on your face.

That was until you realized that your knight was there waiting for you.

The air seemed to pause as the two of you stared at each other. The only thing you could hear was the rapidness in which you breathed, how you felt like everything was slowly falling down on you as you felt the tears slowly making their way to your eyes.

The two of you paused, your heart falling straight to the ground, melting into the cold stone as your eyes widened. Katsuki tried to hide the look of confusion on his face, noting your strange attire and the bag on your back as he swallowed, his eyes squinting in confusion as he tilted his head to the side. Curse him, you thought to yourself, curse him and his loyalty, curse him for looking the way he did, his soft lips pulled into a worried frown, his eyes holding onto yours as if he couldn’t let go, curse him for caring the way that he did.

“Where are you…?” He trailed off, his red eyes widening as, just like always, he began to quickly put the pieces together.

You knew you could have run, the was an opening between the two of you, but you also knew it was stupid because he could have easily caught you in a matter of seconds. So instead of bolting, which is what you so desperately wanted to do, you fell back into your room, your hands shaking as your knees gave out from behind you, your back hitting the wall as you sunk all the way down to the floor, cradling your knees into your chest as you wept.

The door was quickly shut and you heard the typical thump of his footsteps, but you didn’t have the energy to look up to see the irate and aggrieved look on his familiar face.

“Please, princess, don’t cry,” You heard a muted thud as he fell to his knees in front of you, his voice laced with clear, unrivaled panic as he tried to figure out what was wrong, why you looked so defeated, a sight unlike anything he had ever seen before, “Please, Y/n, tell me what I’ve done wrong - what can I do to help?”

And you don’t know what it was if it had been his words or the way you had missed him so terribly that made you cry even more, your tears running rampant you hid your face in the crook of your elbow to save the last shred of dignity you had.

He had to have known by now; the empty feel of your room, the packed bag on your bag, the dirty robe you were wearing. He knew, but he didn’t mention it. He let his hands waver above your elbows, fearing that if he set them down you’d crack, even more, not wanting to do anything to hurt you as he tried to coax you to just look at him.

“Come on Y/n, please, look up, tell me what I need to do.” He begged, his voice was unlike anything you had ever heard from him before.

You need to let me leave, you wanted to plead, please let me go and never mention it to anybody else.

Slowly, you felt the warmth of his hand grip your elbow, gradually moving up as his fingers tried to find your face, wet with tears, as he gingerly cupped your cheeks, pulling you upwards so that he could finally see you again.

You obliged, knowing you couldn’t fight him for long, especially in your state, and you were met with his gentle smile, the one that always made you melt at the sight. Right now, you just sniffle, your eyes red, maybe even redder than his as you cried.

“Hi sweetheart,” He whispered, his thumb running across your cheek, catching a cheer as he cradled the back of your head, gentle in his movements as he tried to rearrange his sitting in a more comfortable position, “Please…please don’t cry,” His eyes followed the tears tracks burned into your skin, “Tell me how I can help, what do I need to do to make it better?”

You scoffed, a wet and emotionless laugh bubbling out of your throat as you wiped away at your nose, looking to the side to avoid his searing gaze. It was treacherous in trying to avoid him for as long as you had, and you knew that if you were to give in to how you truly felt, you couldn’t push him away any longer. And you knew that by doing so you were only digging a deeper hole for yourself.

“Y/n,” Your name sounded so sweet on his tongue, so fragile and delicate, unlike anybody had said it ever before, “Aziz, please, look at me.”

And you looked back up at him from underneath your lashes, your lips trembling as you tried your best to hold back sobs, little hiccups escaping your lips as his thumb ran up and down your cheek, cradling your jaw with the most care in the world. As if you were a shooting star and he never wanted to let you go again.

“I want to g-go,” You choked out the words, fresh tears sporting from your eyes as you motioned your head to the window behind him, the moon peeking out from the caliginosity night, “I want to leave.”

He nodded, heaving out a heavy sigh because he knew that was what you were going to say.

“I know azizam, I know,” He was going to say something else but he stopped, pausing as he carefully cradled your head in his large palm, “I know you do.” He whispered out into the dark room, another faint cry escaping your lips as you nodded along with him.

“Katsuki,” You muttered, and he sat up straighter, his heart beating so incredibly fast in the limited space of his ribcage that he felt as though it was going to fall out at the small mention of the nickname you had given him so many moons ago, “‘Suki…please let me leave.”

He looked away, his eyes downcast as you followed his every movement.

“I wish it was as easy as you make it out to be.”

You nodded again, trying not to look pathetic as another tear rolled down your cheek. If only you knew how much his heart ached at the sight, if only you knew how he’d lasso the moon if it meant bringing a smile back up on your face.

“I know.” You whispered, your voice cracking as you let your cheek fall down onto your arms, trying not to make another sound as you cried.

He didn’t know what to say or do, because deep now he knew that the only thing that would make you happy in this world was to let you leave, to let you live a life not controlled by others who only pretended to care. So he did the next thing he thought was best, digging out something from his pocket as he balanced himself on his ankles, holding it up to the dim light of the candles so you could see it better.

“Here,” He muttered quietly, placing the bracelet back down on your hands, “I saw it at the bazaar this morning and I thought you’d like it.”

You whimpered at his words, looking down at the bracelet to find little rubies, the color of the pomegranate seeds you adored so much, carefully placed alongside other precious jewels, the shine of the gold, and the feel of it heavy in your hands. You looked back up at him, your eyes wide and shimmering as he stammered to explain himself.

How was his compassion so immeasurable? How could he act as if the cruel distance you had put between the two of you was fake (because it was), but who could he move past it? Was it the hardened exterior from years of war that did it to him? Or was he a dreamer, like you, who imagined things a different way than they actually were?

“I can’t just let you leave, it’s a dangerous and cruel world, and even more dangerous for someone who doesn’t know how to navigate it. But if you’d like, tell me the things you want to see, the things you’d want to do. I can go to the bazaar to get you jewelry or fabrics, or I can go to Shiraz to get you their oranges and to Tehran to get their anar…” pomegranates, “Anything you want and I’d get it for you.”

A small smile made its way onto your face at his insistent rambling, the way he held you as if you were going to fly away from his hands.

“Thank you,” You sniffled again, breathing a little lighter as you glanced at him, “It’s gorgeous. B-but you know that I can’t take this Katsuki, it’d be rude of me to do so. It must have cost you a fortune…” You tried to shove it back into his chest but he pushed it forward to you, shaking his head as he refused to take it.

“For you, I’d give you the moon and stars if it meant making you happy.” He promised sincerely, a tilt in his lips as flicked the last tear away from your face, his thumbs soft, unlikely for somebody of his stature, his words sitting heavily in the vast expanse of your heart. How could he say something like that and not feel anything? Did he know what he was doing to you?

If only he could hear the pitter patter rhythm in your heart, the way it thumped at the rhythm of his words and the way he spoke. Maybe then he’d be more gentle with your fragile self, sugar coat his words so they wouldn’t be so blatant to somebody who dreams for a living.

But you were a foolish person, always had been. You never controlled your actions, always leaving them to be rushed and uncaring of how they affected others. And you never watched what you said, speaking whatever was on your mind at any time you deemed it to be necessary. You wanted to guess that was the reason that let you to blurting out,

“Kiss me then.”

Even you seemed startled as the words tumbled out of your mouth.

“I-I’m so, so, sorry. J-just...I didn’t say that, okay?” You say hurriedly, trying to cover up the mess of words you had just said but there was no point in doing it. No amount of training nor sheer will could have hidden the shock that enveloped the young knight's face as he stared at you, slack-jawed.

He groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose as he looked up, not knowing what to do for the first time in his life as his fists clenched. Millions of thoughts were running through his head, everything he thought he knew was being turned upside down, and he didn’t know if he was living in his best dream or his worst nightmare.

“Katsuki...?”

There was a long pause, a heavy silence sitting between the two of you as he shut his eyes as tightly as he could.

“Yes?” He bit out, and you shielded him from his fierce tone. His eyes snapped over to you and the way your expression fell and he loathed himself even more for raising his voice when you were already in such a fragile state.

He wanted to, you had no idea how much he wanted to take you here right now with no consequences. But he was a smart man, who put his brains before anything else.

How would the world react had they found out a knight, one with as much valor as he has, touched their prized princess in such a sinful way? Ruined her lips with his, made it so that the only man she wanted was him? You both knew that it was a matter of feelings because they were surely there. They'd been there ever since he guided you out of the bazaar, but an unfortunate matter of logistics. Who was to say these feelings wouldn't grow, because they would, you knew they would. All you wanted was to have him to yourself, Katsuki, only yours. And you, his to keep away from the world, the touch, and explore without any restraints. If he wanted to, he would. But it was a matter of shouldn't and couldn't.

"Katsuki...please don't be mad, I-"

But before you could finish your train of thought, you watched as he moved forward, his lips hovering breaths above yours, your noses pressed against each other as you stared at each other, each eye fleeting down to each other’s lips as you felt like your tears were quickly evaporating in the heat of the room. His hand was cradling your jaw, tilting your face upwards to meet his as a silent war seemed to rage behind his eyes.

Pomegranate seeds you used to say as you teased him those summer days, pointing out that his eyes held an uncanny resemblance. But here they looked like they were on fire, burning within as he searched yours, trying to figure out what was going on inside your enigma of a head.

You felt as though the air was stopping its flow from your lungs and out, your mind was working at a snail's pace as you tried to understand what was happening. You hated how your heart could change emotions so suddenly, you hated how even you didn’t understand what sort of riddle you could be at the time.

“Did you mean it?”

You breathed. One second passed and then another. Had the world stopped spinning? It felt like it. Nothing else could explain the rush you felt inside yourself as you slowly nodded, moving a little closer to him as your lips barely brushed past each other.

“Yes.”

He did as you asked, closing the pathetic gap between the two of you, his hand behind your neck guiding you upwards as you pressed your lips onto his.

It felt right. Like two lost parts of a separated soul had been reconnected once more.

And you knew that it should have felt like this.

After months of wondering what he’d taste like, how gentle he’d be, it just felt right. He was swift in his movements, his tongue lapping at your lips, groaning at the taste of them, the pomegranates you had earlier in the day still lingering as he tasted the salt of your tears and the tanginess of the pomegranate seeds on you.

He was careful not to pressure you, not forcing you but rather guiding you as he could tell you were inexperienced, his lips slowing down to the pace you set. Katsuki felt as though he was about to die right here, and if he did, he’d die a happy man.

You clutched desperately at his tunic, the fabric wrinkling under your tight grip as you push yourself upwards, to him, a surprised grunt escaping his chest as you wind your arms around his neck, breaking away from him as you tried to gasp for air.

“Katsuki,” You muttered, your lips brushing against his as you were thankful for his arm circling around your back for keeping you afloat, “Please - please don’t stop.”

He smiled that boyish smile that you always died for as he pecked your lips and then your cheek, shaking his head as his breath fanned against your lips.

“I wasn’t planning on it,” He circled his arms underneath your thighs, and in one swift move heaved you up, your legs mindlessly wrapping around his back as he led you toward the bed, “God’s…you have no idea what you do to me, do you?” And you shook your head, feeling him chuckle as he gently let you go, your back falling onto the soft silk sheets you were so used to as he caged you in with his sturdy arms.

“I do things to you?” You teased, your voice still wavering but better than before as he let out a little laugh in your neck, swooping down as he placed hot kisses all along your collarbone and underneath your jaw, the smug smile on your lips falling as you let out a let gasp as he nipped at your supple skin.

“You drive me insane nearly every hour of the day; I can’t spend a day without thinking about you. Had I known better, I would have accused you of witchcraft.” He mumbled hotly against the skin of your chest, his hands roaming upwards and underneath your cloak as he quickly made do at untying the knots behind your back, slipping it off with all the ease of the world.

“And if I were a witch? A haggard and wrinkle-ridden woman, then what would you do?” You were trying to keep yourself at bay, to not lose sight of your sanity as his teeth bit your soft skin, lifting your hips upwards as he slipped the skirt off of your legs, throwing it somewhere in the room, not caring where it landed as he looked back at you.

“You’d still do the things you do to me, Y/n,” He kissed your lips sweetly as his hands found purchase on your waist, “There’s nothing in this world that could change the way I feel about you.”

You could only muster a single breath, your brows scrunching up with care as your hand traveled up the expanse of his back, holding onto his cheek with all the love you had as you gave him a wet and watery grin.

“And what is that?”

He rolled his eyes, his finger gently poking at your side as a giggle bubbled out of you. The small sound of your laughter was enough to bring a wide grin to his face, his lips stretching up into his cheeks as he watched life seep back into your eyes.

“If only you knew how much I loved you,” He muttered, kissing the corners of your eyes, your smile lines, and your delicate lips as he rubbed his nose against yours, “Maybe then you’d know how much it pains me to see you so hurt.”

You pout, your fingers trudging through his hair as you twirl a blonde lock over and over, not noticing the way he practically melted into your touch.

“I don’t do it intentionally, I hope you know.” You mutter and he chuckles, shaking his head as if to agree with you.

“I know, I know,” His hands trickled upwards and upwards, nearing untouched territory as you gasped at the new sensation, not trying to cover up the little moan that slipped between your lips the moment his thumb gilded across your sensitive nipple, “But it doesn’t mean I don’t like - fuck,” He whispered into your skin, almost not believing it himself as his hands gilded across your breasts, “You’re just perfect, aren’t you?” And you could only nod, not trusting your words as he continued his ministrations.

He dipped one hand back down, hooking it under the fabric of your tunic as he pushed it upwards, your hands voluntarily sliding out as the cold winter air bit angrily at your bare, heated skin.

You wanted to cover up, your hands going to travel to hide your barren chest, something only you and your handmaidens had seen before, but his hands circled your wrist, tugging them down, slow to do it in case you were opposed to it. But you let him do it because deep down the two of you wanted this more than anything in the world.

“Beautiful,” He muttered to himself, almost as if the words just tumbled out, looking up at you with those pomegranate eyes almost as if he couldn’t believe what he was seeing, “You’re so beautiful Y/n.”

Your eyes wrangled shut, the heat traveling up into your cheeks, and you couldn’t watch without feeling your entire body ignite at the way he brought his face down towards your naked breasts, his hot breathing hitting your cold skin.

Nothing could have prepared you for when his hot tongue pressed flat against your right nipple, his finger working away at the other one, tugging and pulling as he sucked feverishly as if his life depended on it. You couldn’t help the loud moans that escaped, the way you tried to cover up your eyes in embarrassment but didn’t when he stopped, looking down at him as he sent a rather harsh bite to the skin around your breast.

“Don’t cover yourself up, wanna see what you look like when you finally let go.”

And he didn’t let you take in his words as he went back down, working on the other one, making a mess out of it as his spit shined in the pale moonlight. It was maddening the way he kissed and tugged at your nipples, sucking on them, the sound so lewd that you felt like you were burning alive.

He let his curious hands wander down, rubbing up and down your legs, behind your knees, and back up to your thighs, gingerly pinching and prodding at the skin as he tried to mark every freckle, dimple, every little scar you had to memory. You were a work of art, and he refused to let any part of you go unappreciated.

He pulled away, a string of spit connecting itself from your nipple to his red lips as he grinned up at you, an unrivaled fire in his eyes as he moved down, practically melting at the sight of your naked body.

“F-fuck, are you okay if I have a taste, please,” His nose rubbed against the top of your mound, dangerously close to the place where you were warned to never touch, someplace that was meant to be only for your husband. But you didn’t care, not when it came to Katsuki, and you feverishly nodded for him to continue.

“Need to hear you say it,” He muttered, pressing a sweet kiss to your inner thigh as he nudged his nose into your soft skin, “Come on, you can do it.”

“P-please, ‘Suki, please touch me, shit, do whatever you want I d-dont care.” You begged, your fingers pushing his head closer to your wet entrance, and he didn’t need to be told twice as he flashed you a charming smile, his face disappearing as suddenly felt your eyes cross at the sensation.

Gods help you because you had no idea how you were ever going to have been prepared for the way his tongue pushed at your walls, licking away at your juices as he groaned deeply, his eyes screwing shut as your saccharine taste, something that he couldn’t get enough of as he lapped your wetness up with even more fervor.

“O-oh fuck! ‘S-suki, please, please don’t stop!” You whined out loud, hoping with every fiber of your being that the party was loud enough to cover up your wails and moans because you knew you couldn’t keep quiet with the way his hot tongue was making its way inside you. Mapping it all out, putting it into memory which places made you scream the loudest, what part of you to prod at more to get the sweetest sounding moans.

His thumb moved upwards to find your little nub, pinching it between his two fingers as he rolled it back and forth. You nearly collapsed the moment he touched your clit, and he had to use his other hand to widen your thighs because you could barely hold yourself up anymore.

“Fuck, you taste so sweet,” He groaned into your pussy, licking one long strip as you felt yourself clench around nothing, “Sweeter than anything I’ve ever tasted. Shit,” He moaned pathetically at the way you cried for him, “Don’t think I’m ever going to be able to let you go.”

“Don’t, please, please don’t stop!” You begged for him, and his thumb moved faster, your hands pushing his head deeper into you as his nose bumped against your clit, the added sensation pushing you deeper and deeper into something you had never felt before.

It all happened so quickly, the way your stomach clenched, your walls tightening around his fingers and tongue as your back arched, your mouth open in a shameless moan as you came all over him, your chest heaving up and down in an uneven motion as you tried to calm yourself down, only able to see white as you came down from your blissful high.

When you opened your eyes back up you came to see your Katsuki smiling fondly, making haste at taking his attire off, the thick line prominent in his slacks now in front of you, and you felt your mouth dry at the sight.

“How’d that feel?” He asked, his hand coming down to prop up your head, his chin glistening with your release as you give him a mindless smile. Your eyes were relaxed and happy, and if only he could commit this to his memory, he’d never let the image go.

“Good,” You muttered into the palm of his hand, turning your head over to the side so you could kiss it, “Really good.” You giggled a bit at the way he grinned happily, no longer looking like the stern knight he always was but a simple man in love.

“Yeah?” He asked and you nodded, his thumb rubbing up and down your cheek as he pressed a small kiss to your forehead.

“Are you tired, d’you want me to stop?” He asked, his eyes tracing your features, not wanting to push you when he knew this was your first time experiencing all these things. If he could, he’d take the time to show you everything he knew. But on the longest night of the year, he’d be apt with stopping right where he was.

“No, no,” You groaned, your lips forming into a small pout as you pushed at his chest, wanting him to get the hint, “Don’t stop.”

He laughed, the sound deep and rich as you smiled along with it, nodding along to your words.

“Whatever you want, princess.” And for the first time, you loved the way your title sounded on his tongue.

As he got himself ready, you took the time to admire his bare body. The way his chest flexed every time he moved, the muscle delicately outlined with the help of the moon and her stars, looking as if he was chiseled from marble. You knew that no other man in your land could look like him, be him. There was only one Bakugo Katsuki, and you were more than thrilled to have him right in front of you.

You let your nails drag along his thighs, noting the little shiver he let out when your finger dragged up to his hip, tracing his v-line and the muscle of his abs, your cold fingers a stark contrast from his stark skin, but he’d be a madman if he told you to stop.

“So pretty ‘Suki,” You muttered, almost as if you were talking to yourself, not even noticing the way his cheeks flushed at your simple compliment.

But your eyes wandered down lower, and you’d be blind if you were to miss the way his cock had sprung against his stomach, his tip red and angry, dripping with pre as it was practically begging to be touched.

You didn’t know much, only heard from the other girls and their experiences, so you aimlessly brought your hand down, lower and lower till it stopped at the vein that traveled upwards. You traced it all the way up to his tip, hearing him shudder and let out little whines at the way your fingers held him. You followed the natural curve, wondering silently to yourself how he was ever going to fit inside you as you gave him an experimental squeeze. He watched the curious look in your eyes as you watched how he reacted, the way he twitched and the muscle in his thigh almost spasmed as you moved your hand leisurely up and down.

“F-fuck, you’re,” He heaved, running a hand through his hair, his jaw ticking as you looked up at him, your fist stopping just at his head as he swallowed thickly, “You’re killing me, can’t,” He heaved a groan as you squeezed a little, a cheshire grin growing on your face as he tried to glare at you but failed miserably when you squeezed his tip again, smearing pre cum all of the palm of your hand, “Shit, it feels amazing azizam.” He muttered, his head falling into the crook of your neck as you paused your movements.

“Why…why’d you stop?” He whined and you patted his hair, his gold locks as you giggled a little bit at the desperation in his voice. He was such a far cry from how you were used to seeing him, but you kissed his ear, moving his chin up as you pressed another kiss to his lips.

“‘Cause… I want you - want you to fuck me,” You said against his tender skin, your cheek heating up but you didn’t care about being proper anymore, “Can you please do that ‘Suki? Please?”

Ad he almost collapsed on top of you but controlled himself as he swooped down, pressing a messy kiss to your swollen lips as you tasted your tangy self on him, moaning at it as he grinded his hard-on into your stomach.

“F-fuck, of course,” He murmured against you, “You know I’d do anything for you, Y/n. Didn’t even need to ask.”

You grinned at his words, watching as he pulled away, balancing himself on the pads of his knees as he looked down at you, a loving and tender look in his eyes as he winked, his strong frame, something that once used to intimidate you, casting a shadow over your body.

You watched with your heart beating in your throat as you parted your thighs for him, still wet from your previous orgasm, as he lined himself up with your entrance, his thick head prodding at your walls as he looked up at you, a final look, a final say in wanting to make sure you were okay.

The smile you gave him was wide, full of every emotion you tried to convey to him as you nodded, your eyes shutting in pure bliss as he gently pushed himself in, the sting of your tight cunt trying to take shape for him was something you were going to get used to, but after he let you get adjusted to his girth you patted his thigh, telling him that you were ready for him to move.

And gods, when he did you could have sworn you were going to pass out. You could tell he was trying to be as slow and as gentle as possible, but with the way he was chewing on his lips, his brows creasing as he tried to focus and being slow with you, you knew that he too was slowly going crazy.

“‘Suki, please,” You moaned when his dick hit a certain spot inside you, your eyes crossing over as you gripped onto his arm as tightly as you could, “Go faster. P-please, fuck!” He could only grunt, holding onto your hips as carefully as he could without hurting you, and he felt like he was slowly entering heaven because there was no way this was anything but that.

“R-really? Are you sure? Don’t - fuck - don’t want to hurt you…?” He said, his tone laced with worry and desire as you shook your head, begging, pleading for him to go faster.

And he obliged, picking up the pace as his cock plunged in and out of you, the sounds full of sin as your juices mixed with his, a sloppy and wet sound bouncing around the room as the two of you moaned in tandem at the blasphemous yet deliriously amazing feeling.

You tried to open your eyes, crack them for long enough to see him focusing on the way your cunt hugged his cock tightly, the way you didn’t seem to want to let him go as your juices shined brightly on his dick. The feeling was unlike anything he’d experienced before, and he knew that he could no longer pretend and shove his feelings down when it came to you. It was all thrown out the window when you first asked him to kiss you, and now, after this, he’d probably go insane if you asked him to pretend like it never happened.

“Mhh, f-fuck, feels so good, don’t, don’t stop ‘Suki, love it so much!” You cried, and maybe you were just saying random words at this point, but like a fool in love, he clung to all of them.

“I know, fuck, you’re so tight, you’re clamping down on me so much,” He groaned, sputtering through the words as he pistoned his hips and out of you, the bed creaking and swaying heavily with his rapid motions. He prayed to every and any god there was out there that it didn’t crack during this.

“S-shit, Y/n,” He felt his release quickly coming, and he knew it was going to come anytime with the way you gripped onto him, your hot walls not seeming to let him go as his face contracted, “M’gonna, fuck, gonna cum.”

“M-me too, gonna c-cum, ‘Suki, fuck!” You said, your voice airy as you tried to lift your hips up to meet his movement, that knot in your stomach growing tighter than it had last time, your thighs cramping and toes curling as you wrapped your hands around his toned shoulders.

He grunted at the feeling, his dick pulsating inside you as you tried to hold on for a little longer, your back arching, your breasts pressing into his chest as he groaned at the feeling, kissing and licking at your neck as he bit down at the point where your neck met your collarbone.

He stopped when he felt it coming, pulling out of you as his heavy load sprayed all over your chests, your own scream of pleasure mirroring his as you climaxed, your pussy aching without him inside you as you collapsed, your face lined with sweat and arousal as your chest heaved up and down with heavy breaths.

He panted, wiping at his forehead as he looked at you, his heart warming at the intimate sight. He had no idea how he was ever going to recover from this, how he’d come up with a plausible lie for why he was suddenly putting down his knightly duties to no longer serve you.

But right now he couldn’t let those thoughts ache his mind as he climbed off of the bed, his whole body spent as you cracked open an eye, fearful that he had quickly regained his senses and was trying to find the easiest way out.

Even now you tried your best to get your mind straight, but it was impossible when he looked so gorgeous, the pale moonlight washing over his features as the muscle in his back rippled with his every movement.

“‘Suki…where,” You pulled yourself up on your elbows, your chest a beautiful sight as he looked back at you, “Where’re you going?”

He paced back, hearing the worry in your voice as you gently cupped your cheeks, kissing all of the concerns out of your face as he gently rubbed at your worry lines, promising to himself that he’d never let you trouble yourself again if he had the power.

“Getting you a washcloth, I’ll be back, I promise.” He pecked at the corner of your lips as you smiled, nodding as you fell back into the bed, your fingers feeling at the soft sheets as you looked out of the window, hearing some rustling in the back as you tried to calm your heart rate down.

He came back with a cloth warmed with some water, gently dragging it all over your body as you winced, hearing his soothing apologies as he tried to be softer with your sore areas. It was an intimate sight, and you hoped that you weren’t the only one out of the two who felt this way.

His eyes were careful as they tracked all over, careful as to not miss a spot, and then went back to get another towel, this time for your face as he cleaned all the sweat and spit off, not missing the way you held his wrist and pressed an appreciative kiss to his palm your eyes drooping from sleep as you let him pull you into some more comfortable robes, pulling the sheets over your body so that you wouldn’t shiver in the night.

That’s when you let the exhaustion and sleep take over your body, drifting off into a dreamless slumber as you hoped that the warmness that was radiating next to you could only have but one explanation for it.

—

When you woke up, you squinted as the sun shined brightly in your eyes, holding your hand up to hide the rays. You felt sore and the place between your thighs ached, but you had never gotten a sleep as good as the one you had gotten last night.

Looking over, you let out a sigh of relief to see Katsuki next to you, sleeping away peacefully as his cheeks were squished in from the pillow.

Laughing quietly you ease yourself back down, pulling the blanket over your two bodies as you laid your hand across his shoulders, playing with the tuft of hair at the nape of his neck, twirling it around mindlessly as you wondered to yourself just what you were going to do.

Before you could think for long, you felt him shift beneath your fingers, and watched as he cracked an eye open, and then another one, slowly coming to his senses when a big, wide, goofy grin spread across his cheeks to see you there laying in front of him.

“Good morning,” You muttered, your thumb moving across his forehead, tracing his delicate yet war-ridden features with all the care in the world.

“Mornin’,” He said, the gruffness in his voice making you shiver as his hands circled around your wrist, bringing your hands to his lips as he placed a delicate kiss on the back of them.

The two of you let the silence sit between your bodies, mapping a dimple and a scar on each other's face, things you’ve ever noticed before because you’ve never been in such a position to take notice of such things.

But soon the heavy question came back, and you could only let it sit for so long before somebody brought it up.

“I’ve been wondering,” Katsuki started, weaving his hand underneath your naked body so that he could tug it closer to himself, smiling to himself as you let out a shocked squeal at the way he so effortlessly was able to move you, “If your offer’s still up?”

Your brows furrowed in confusion as you let your palm rest on his chest, drawing to be neared to his warmth as you rested your cheek against his bicep.

“What offer?”

He played with your hair, grunting as he looked down at you for really forgetting the words you told him so many months ago.

“The one where I helped you run away.”

You paused, your breath catching in your throat as you looked up at him, wondering where he was going with this.

“I recall something like that...” You said slowly, not wanting to ruin anything when things seemed to be going relatively alright. But he traced little patterns on your back, the action soothing as he flattened his palm across your shoulder blades.

“Well, I reckon you’ll run away either way. If not last night, then another night,” He looked down at you, a promise in his eyes that you knew he would intend to keep to his very death, “And you’re going to need somebody who knows Persia like the back of their hands.

"But...Katsuki," You frowned, moving some of the hair away from his face as he brought your palms to his lips, watching you as you tried to formulate your thoughts. There was no point in lying to him when he could read you so easily, "I don't want you to leave here. You have a life here, people who need you." You needed him, but you didn't want to seem any more desperate than you already were to him.

Regardless, he shook his head, his hand moving over your waist as his fingers marked all the placed he kissed last night.

"You," He kissed your forehead, smiling into your skin as you giggled at the ticklish sensation, "Are my life. What do you not get about that?" You heated under his words, trying to hide your face in his arms.

“And regardless of if I come with you or not, you’re going to be taking a part of me that only you have, so..." He shrugged as if he wasn't saying the most amazing words he could have ever said, "I'll be coming with you."

The smile you gave him could radiate universes to come, it made the stars jealous in your wake, and the sun wondered how something could look so bright, how it was humanly possible.

“Really? You promise?”

He nodded, kissing your forehead as he held you close to his chest, his arms protectively trying to shield you from the troubles of the world.

“F'course, my love," He kissed you one last time as the sun began to rise from the east, "I’d never lie to you.”

---