#where the fuck in my room am i gonna put this. i have no surface left

[upathosarts]

wtf revue of souls real (more pics below the cut)

[kaiawrites]

AND THEY WERE ROOMMATES (halloween fic)

lando norris x f!reader

word count: 1.8k

prompt(s): “You okay? Your face is red.” “Yeah, I mean, yes. Totally, it’s just the weather.” & "Oh my god, your room is so dirty. How do you live here?" "If you're so bothered by it, clean it up." "Fuck off. I'm not your servant." "You act like one." "I. Said. Fuck. Off."

warnings: slightly creepy guy calls the reader a wh*re, minor violence/blood (just a bar fight), the rest is pretty fluffy

a/n: posting my 'once in every 3 years' post, happy halloween for the lando girlies! I haven't proofread this, so sorry for any mistakes

"Have you seen my black T-shirt, I'm sure it was here. I swear I saw it here," you heard Lando’s voice call out from across your shared flat. 

"Oh, the one that looked like a rag? Yeah, I threw it away," you replied as you continued drying off your dishes.

“What!” you heard Lando shriek. "You little shit, come here!" You snickered as an angry, shirtless, Lando stormed into your kitchen.

“Clam down Norris, I didn’t touch any of your shit I have no idea where your goddamn T-shirt is,” you laughed at the Brit’s unamused face as you put away the last of the dishes. “Come on, I’ll help you look for it,” you said, though you did not expect what you found when you reached Lando’s room. Rarely did you ever come into each other’s room; so you hadn’t seen it’s inside it a while. Clothes were strewn about on every flat surface, cups and plates you’d been missing for weeks scattered about and his bedsheets practically on the floor. No wonder he couldn’t find his stupid t-shirt.

"Oh my god, your room is so messy. How do you live here?" you laughed, your roommate glowering further at you. Clearly, he did not find you as funny as you found yourself.

"If you're so bothered by it, clean it up."

"Fuck off. I'm not your servant." 

"Well, you act like one, darling," now a teasing smile curling his lips.

“Then you can find your shirt on your own, Norris,” you said, giving him a bitter smile before exiting his room. You knew damn well there was no way you would've been able to find anything in his mess of a room. Anyways, you had to start getting ready too, since you were soon to be on your way to a Halloween party. Your costume was quite simple, just a regular red mini-dress and some devil horns on a headband, so it didn’t take you very long once you’d gotten your makeup down. 

“Come on Norris we’re gonna be late!” You called out, checking your phone for the time. In truth, you were already late, but you were about to be later than was acceptable if Lando didn’t come down soon. Luckily, you didn’t have to wait long. Unluckily, however, it seemed that Lando had gone absolutely insane and dumped a gallon of glitter on his skin.

“Is that your costume?” You asked. Lando looked down at himself and nodded proudly, glitter falling off at the movement. “I thought you were being a vampire..?”

“I am,” Lando replied, a permanent proud and shit-eating grin on his face. “You know, like the ones from Twilight.”

“You’re going to embarrass me,” you said in exasperation.

“I know, that’s the point, love,” Lando replied smugly. “Let’s go now, you don’t want to be late, do you?” 

You rolled your eyes and followed him out.

———

Lando watched from the bar as you stumbled off the dance floor and looked around, a bright, dazed smile tugging at your lips when you spotted him. Jesus christ you were beautiful. Not that you weren’t always beautiful, Lando knew you were, but there were moments where you seemed more than beautiful. Moments like this one, where you headed toward him, the glistening of your skin reflecting the club lights, looking at him expectantly as you awaited his answer.

“What?” Lando said, breaking out of his stupor and nearly blushing at how he’d completely missed your question. You laughed at his confusion, before leaning closer. Lando’s heart skipped a beat, and for an imperceptible moment, he thought you were going to kiss him. But of course, the moment passed as you leaned into his ear, repeating your unanswered question more clearly. 

“Why aren’t you having fun?” you asked smoothly, revealing a faux pout as you drew back. Lando let out a chuckle.

“I am having fun, love,” he replies.

“No, you’re standing here watching the rest of us have fun,” you replied, matter-of-factly. “Come oooonnn, Norris, come dance with me.” Lando stared into your puppy-dog eyes, ready to give in and come make a fool of himself on the dance floor for you, before he was cut off by an unknown, and unwelcome voice.

“Forget him, I’ll dance with you,” the voice said, its owner getting far too touchy with you for Lando’s liking.

“Uhm, no thank you,” you answered, all your previous mirth dissipating into discomfort.

“Come on babe, I promise, I’m fun,” the evidently drunk man repeated, 

“I’m alright, thanks,” you said, refusing once more. The man didn’t reply this time, instead choosing to grab your wrist in order to lead you toward the floor.

“She said no, mate,” Lando cut in dryly. The man turned toward Lando, anger simmering beneath his stare.

“Look, you can drop the act mate, I’ve seen her whoring around all night, I know that’s not your girl. She’s free game,” he slurred.

“What did you just call her?” Lando spat. The guy laughed at what Lando could only assume the man thought was an empty threat. However, Lando didn’t give him a chance to retaliate.

“Lando!” you exclaimed as both men went down. The next moments were a blur of fists and bloodied faces, until Lando was suddenly pulled off the man by a security guard. He turned to see you looking all at once scared, worried, relieved and angry. Lando looked back down at the drunk guy, and he couldn’t help the self-satisfied smirk at the state he’d left him in, even as the security guard escorted him out of the bar.

———

“Are you mad at me?” Lando broke the heavy silence as you walked into your flat. You sighed deeply, turning around to face him for the first time since you’d been kicked out of the bar. 

“Of course not, just… promise you won’t do anything like that ever again. I mean, I know you’re an idiot, but that was even more stupid than usual,” you joked, hoping to lighten the mood, but Lando still stared at you, uncharacteristically unreadable.

“I can’t promise that, I would do it again if I had to.”

You stared at him intently, searching for any sign of Lando’s usual playfulness, but you only found earnest eyes and a clenched jaw. You averted your gaze, not knowing what to do with this uncharacteristic behaviour. Instead, you turned toward the bathroom, hearing Lando’s shuffling feet as he trailed after you. Rummaging through a drawer, you pulled out a first aid kit and turned back toward Lando to find him almost comically standing awkwardly in the doorway.

“Sit,” you said more harshly than you intended, gesturing toward the ledge of the bathtub. Lando heeded your command, silently taking a spot where you’d directed him. After wiping off the remainder of his face paint and glitter, you began by cleaning up the cut on Lando’s nose, soaking a towel with cold water and dabbing it at the cut. Lando flinched and hissed at the contact. 

“Don’t be a baby,” you chided with a chuckle, though there was no malice in it.

“I am not a baby,” Lando scoffed with a small smile. After cleaning and patching up the cut on his nose, you moved on to his split lip, hesitating a moment before bringing the towel to it. Lando’s breath hitched almost imperceptibly at the contact, but he didn’t wince this time. You focused on intently cleaning the wound, and once you were done, you set aside the towel. You turned back toward Lando to find his face tinged a bright red.

“Are you okay? Your face just got all red?” you inquired, looking him over for any sign of an injury you might have missed.

“Yeah, I mean, yes. Totally. It’s the, uhm, weather,” Lando replied, his voice breaking on the first word. You looked at him, deadpan.

“We’ve been inside for a solid ten minutes, Norris,” you stated.

“Well, y’know what I mean, it’s like, warm in here or something,” he rectified, his face somehow flushing further. A small smirk formed on your lips.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were flustered, Norris,” you teased as you finished cleaning up the small cut.

“What? Flustered? By you?” He replied, his voice an octave higher and cadence a tad faster than usual, only proving your point further. You disposed of the gauze, turning back toward him and cupping his face in your hands. You smirked and raised an eyebrow at his widening eyes and ever-flushed face. “Okay, okay, maybe I am,” he admitted.

“And what are you gonna do about it?” You taunted him. Lando’s eyes searched your face for any sign of humour, but found only sincerity. With that, he leaned in, closing the remaining distance between the two of you. The kiss was slow and purposeful, free of any of the teasing which usually permeated all your interactions. This was something else, communicating a kind of sincerity your words could hardly convey.

“Thank you,” you added after parting from the kiss.

“What? For kissing you?” Lando answered with a chuckle. “‘Cause I can do it again.”

“For sticking up for me. It was dangerous and reckless and please don’t do it again. But thank you, still. I appreciate it.”

“Well, like I said, I would do it again. That fucker had it coming, messing with my girl.” He replied, brushing the pad of his thumb on your cheek.

“Your girl, huh?” You echoed teasingly.

“If she wants to be, that is?” Lando replied. You hummed, contemplating.

“If he takes me on a date, I might consider it,” you settled on, turning to exit the bathroom, though you didn’t miss Lando’s hushed, dragged out yes, and you giggled as you imagined him pumping his fist. He followed you out, and you both settled on the couch, seemingly in agreement to watch a movie. You tossed Lando the remote.

“Your turn to pick,” you said, as you had picked the movie last time. After a moment, Lando settled on a movie and pressed play. “A horror movie?” You inquired. “You’re terrified of those.”

“Am not!” Lando replied petulantly. 

“Yes, you are,” you laughed, doubling over as the first jumpscare of the movie made Lando jump in his place. He couldn’t help but smile at seeing you laugh, even if it was at his expense. In fact, he would gladly make an idiot out of himself every day if it meant making you laugh like that. And maybe Lando really was terrified of horror movies, but maybe he’d also purposely picked a horror movie so he’d have an excuse to his his face on your shoulder, and maybe, just maybe, you were glad he’d picked a horror movie because you too, wanted and excuse to keep him close tonight.

[jjunieworld]

february 14th 𓍼 🌾 ·˚ ༘

pairing: kang taehyun x fem!reader

genre: angst, some fluff if you squint, strangers (kinda) to lovers, college au, major character death, death in general (both on page and mentioned), kinda dead dove, talks about grief

synopsis: this has to be the worst day of your life. and just your luck, the day keeps repeating. over and over again. and you don’t know why. you get to relive the same day where you finally garner the courage to ask your crush, kang taehyun, out and get to relive the part where he rejects you each time.

word count: 13.6k┊masterlist

a/n: omg first 10k+ word fic!! happy birthday tyun!! this is lowkey inspired by a manga series called orange (which is one of my all time favorite mangas! you should really check it out because it’s so so so good but please look up tws), that one episode of supernatural where sam repeats the same day, and lowkey life is strange lmao. i am so so sorry my baby hyuka :( this was really interesting to write tho, so i hope you enjoy! ♡

if you had to experience another valentine’s day over again, you’d personally find and kill cupid yourself. you were sick of this day, sick of your confession, sick of the stupid crush you had. and most of all, you were sick of being stuck in this fucking time loop.

you don’t even know how you got in this situation. how the universe decided that, yes, y/n should experience the day where she gets rejected by her crush over and over again! wouldn’t that be so much fun? rest assured, it is not.

no matter what you did, your confession of liking kang taehyun always came to the surface, no matter how much you avoided him. whether that be from your actual mouth, or from someone else’s somehow. you didn’t even know how, since you haven’t told anybody about your crush—well, except your roommate chaewon, but that was purely coincidental and you were sure she wouldn’t tell anyone. and no matter what you did, or how you acted, or how you dressed, taehyun would always reject you.

this all had to be some sick joke that everyone was in on. what was the point of it all? you sighed as you woke up in your room, once again, on valentine’s day.

you looked over to your nightstand like you have for the five hundred and forty-seventh time. the confession letter you had spent so long on the night before—well, not the night before—was laying there. it's pretty pink paper with elaborate cursive writing, love doodles, and glitter mocking you. you glared at it as you got ready for your classes. you had tried once to leave it at your dorm room, to not give it to taehyun at all, but then your roommate showed up with it in the hallways.

“y/n! you forgot your confession letter to taehyun!” your roommate, chaewon, had practically yelled as she jogged over to where you were coming out of your class. heads turned to the both of you and you wished you could be six feet under. you quickly glanced around and made direct eye contact with taehyun, who was frozen mid stride with an open notebook in hand. you fled the scene and avoided him like the plague for the rest of the day, only for him to come up to you himself as you were getting lunch a good ways away from campus. “hey… about the confession letter… i’m really flattered, truly, but it just isn’t gonna work between us. i’m not looking for a relationship right now, i’m sorry.” he had said, before turning and walking away, leaving you gaping in the restaurant.

those words have been replaying in your head over and over for the past five hundred and forty-two loops. “it just isn’t gonna work between us,” at least he was kind about it.

you were tempted to just stay in your pajamas, but you’ve already done that last loop. yawning as you put your bookbag over your shoulders, you exited your dorm room and made your way to your first class of the day. no matter how much sleep you get in each loop, you were still dead tired. courtesy of staying up all night the night you made the confession letter.

realization hits you and you turn back towards your dorm at the same time that chaewon comes out of it, your confession letter in her hand. “y/n, you forgot your confession letter!” the both of you say at the same time, you mainly copying what she has said so many times before. “i know,” you added. chaewon’s eyes widened in shock, a smile spreading across her face. you took the letter from her and shoved it deep within your bookbag, definitely crumpling it.

“i’m in a time loop, chaewon. i know exactly what you’re gonna say.” you sighed and ran a hand down your face as you stifled another yawn. “sure, i can guess the next three words that are gonna come out of your mouth. lemon, eight, and cutie patootie, which are four words by the way.”

chaewon’s face dropped even more in shock. you just sighed deeper. “i’m gonna need your help today. that confession letter i made last night… it cannot get to taehyun. do you hear me?” chaewon just nodded and you gave a small nod back. you turned and began your way to your class again.

luckily for you, you shared your first class with taehyun. photography 101 with mr. kim. today’s class dealt with polaroid cameras, which you were also sick of dealing with. you sat in the empty seat near the window where you always sat and got your notebook out as class started to begin. if you were honest, you chose this seat cause it gives you the best view of your crush. the sunlight filtered hazily through the window illuminating taehyun’s features, making him look even more dreamy. it probably wasn’t the best idea, since you spent most of the class staring at him and wanting to take a picture of him; rather than paying attention to your teacher and what he wanted you to take pictures of.

you tried your hardest to focus this loop around. you wished that after how many times you lived this day, your crush would just disappear. i mean, you would think getting rejected five hundred and forty-six times would help right? wrong.

at first, you thought of the time loop as a blessing in disguise. there to help you fix your mistakes and finally get the guy you’ve been crushing on for a while now. wrong, again. for the first hundred or so loops you tried everything in your power to curate yourself to taehyun’s tastes. even going so far to dye your hair and buy a bunch of new clothes. nothing worked. it was hopeless. so now you’ve been spending the past four hundred and so on loops trying to get out of the loop. also hopeless. you just couldn’t crack what was keeping you here, on this day. and why you of all people.

mr. kim had given all the students in the class polaroid cameras, not the modern ones, but one of those old ones from the ninties. you rushed to get your things as class ended, polaroid camera in hand, when you ran face first into someone and spilled the contents of your half open bookbag all over the floor.

the polaroid camera had fallen from your hands and bounced off your foot, snapping a picture and momentarily blinding you with the flash. “if that camera is broken y/n you will be paying for it!” mr. kim’s voice had loudly spoken as you blinked rapidly and tried to get the spots out of your eyes.

“sorry!” you mumbled to whoever you bumped into as you crouched to the floor to grab your things. they crouched next to you and helped you. “don’t worry about it!” you heard a familiar voice say. you froze, hand in the air ready to grab your notebook, as taehyun’s voice rang through your ears.

the letter, you thought. the gears in your brain started working again, breaking you out of your frozen state, and you began getting your things off the floor faster. you shoved them into your bookbag without caring if things got bent or folded. taehyun handed you a couple textbooks, which you all but snatched from him, and also shoved those into your bookbag. after getting to your feet, you mumbled another sorry, before turning to fly out the door again.

“y/n, wait!” taehyun called from behind you. you froze again. please don’t be the letter, please don’t be the letter, please don’t be the le— you thought. you slowly turned and saw him rise to his feet, your notebook in hand. he held it out to you, a small smile on his face. “you almost forgot this,” taehyun spoke.

“thank you,” you replied in a small voice, returning his smile. you took the notebook from him and bolted out the class. on the brightside, at least it would’ve been a short loop if taehyun had grabbed the letter. no doubt, once he saw the big ‘to taehyun, from y/n’ on the front in big glittery letters he would’ve rejected you right then and there and the day would restart.

the only time the day has progressed past the rejection was the first ever day, before the loop started. you had been so excited to give taehyun the letter, even if the sleepiness was tearing you apart. it was valentine’s day, the day of love, and you thought that today was absolutely perfect to tell him about your feelings. after all, at least you wouldn’t be alone in sharing your feelings for someone.

everywhere you looked, new couples sprang up. it made you giddy inside. that’s going to be me, you thought. you couldn’t wait, you had the whole confession planned out. after your classes for the day were over, you were gonna wait outside the arts building for taehyun. the sun would be setting and with the perfect backdrop of a beautiful sunset, you would hand him your letter. taehyun would read it, a smile crossing his face, and he would accept your confession, making your wish come true. it would be written in the shooting stars. then the two of you would start dating and run off into said sunset, blah blah blah.

except, that’s not how it all happened. you waited outside the arts building, the setting sun in the background. you had waited for forty-five minutes, unaware that the class was delayed thirty minutes and that taehyun would stay behind for another fifteen for help from the teacher. by the time he came out, it was dark outside. you were cold and annoyed, and the confession letter was held limply in your hand, spare glitter piling up on the ground.

when you had silently handed it to him, he looked at the monstrosity in shock. it was clear at first glance he knew what it was, and it was only made even more apparent when he opened the envelope and read the letter inside. “o-oh…” he stuttered out, and your heart dropped and the deliberate blankness of his face. “y/n, i’m—“ that’s all you could bear to hear before you just nodded and swallowed thickly, tears rimming your eyes, and ran off.

you had cried in your dorm room all night. the whole interaction replaying in your head as you wished and wished for a miracle until you fell asleep from exhaustion. imagine your shock when you woke up again, confession letter on your nightstand and the day reading as valentine’s day. a joke, it all was, all you hoped. it wasn’t. only one good thing came from the time loop, nobody remembered anything from the previous loop. only the previous day, february thirteenth.

you had gotten back to your dorm room, not having classes until later in the day and desperate for sleep, when you stepped out of the way of chaewon’s hands. “how did you—oh my god! you really are in a time loop!” chaewon exclaimed. you stepped past her and made your way to your dresser to change your clothes. “yes, and i’m very tired and would like to sleep the day away.”

“well, what about taehyun? what about your confession? does he know yet?” chaewon asked as you slipped some shorts and a plain t-shirt on. you turned to her, shaking your head. “no, and it’s for the best that he never finds out.”

chaewon furrowed her eyebrows. “why did something bad happen in the last loop? how many times have you relieved this day?” you just laughed wryly, “you have absolutely no idea.”

“we gotta find some way to sway his mind!” she then exclaimed. you shook your head furiously, sitting down heavily on your bed. “there’s no use, chaewon. he doesn’t like me like that. like, at all.” you tried to keep the sadness from creeping into your tone. chaewon sat on her bed, a pout on her lips. “the only thing we can do is make sure that he doesn’t even see the letter at all,” you added.

“well where is it? have you tried burning it?” chaewon asked. you stood to retrieve your book bag. “i have actually, didn’t work.” it was around the two hundredth loop when you were getting deeply frustrated. there was a campfire party happening that you went to after avoiding taehyun for the whole day. you had thought that you were finally in the clear, even let yourself begin to hope a little. that’s when you decided to just burn the letter and let it all be done with.

it sat in the fire, the edges burning, before a magical gust of wind blew it out of the embers. right into taehyun’s hands.

you literally couldn’t believe your eyes. there was literally no way that the letter just did that. that’s when you knew that this loop was a curse, that you’d be doomed to repeat this day until the end of time. and probably after that too. your mouth had dropped, taehyun looked over to you with furrowed eyebrows. you get the rest.

“i know, you don’t like me…” you had trailed off, overlapping his words. you turned to walk away and the next thing you knew, you were waking up in your bed again.

you were rummaging through your messy bookbag when chaewon replied, “have you tried confessing to someone else?” you paused and turned to her. “i haven’t… actually…” you trailed in thought. this whole time you were so focused on your feelings for taehyun, you hadn’t even thought about anyone else. “i’m not sure it would even work,” you said. “even after all this time i still like him.”

“well, you have all this time… why don’t you try to start developing feelings for someone else and get over the feelings you have for taehyun?” chaewon said. you thought it over for a second. that doesn’t sound that bad of an idea. you already know that taehyun doesn’t and never will like you back, so what’s the harm? maybe it’ll actually work and you can be free from this loop. “who would i even like?” you asked, momentarily abandoning your bag.

chaewon pressed her lips together for a moment before shrugging. “there’s plenty of attractive people here, you could choose anybody!” you sighed deeply. “i can’t just choose someone to like… it doesn’t really work that way.” chaewon shrugged again. “it could at least help!”

you guess she was somewhat right. narrow the pool of people. you could go based on personality, or at least those the personalities you know of. whichever personalities clash with yours can get crossed off. “whatever,” you mumbled. “i guess it could work. i’ll think about it.” chaewon clapped happily as you returned to your bag for the letter.

heart dropping, you flipped your bag over and watched the contents inside fall to the floor. looking through the pile frantically, you came up with nothing. the letter was gone. chaewon called your name and you looked up at her, face paled. “it’s gone… the letter… it’s gone.” she crouched down next to you with furrowed brows and began searching herself. when she came up with nothing also, she sat back on the ground. “if you don’t have it, then where is it?”

that’s when you noticed a polaroid tucked under one of your notebooks. you pulled it out and stared at it. chaewon leaned over to get a look at it too. “taehyun must have it,” you said. the polaroid was a blurry picture of you and taehyun from class earlier that morning. “but if he has it…” you trailed. if he has it, then why hasn’t the day restarted?

you and chaewon spent the next forty-five minutes searching every nook and cranny of your room for the letter and still came up with nothing. you had explained to her how the time loop worked—as far as you knew it—and what it meant if taehyun had seen the letter. “so what does this mean?” chaewon asked, the two of you were sitting on your floor after cleaning up the mess you made. “i have no idea,” you replied. “i hope it means that all of this is over. but who knows if he actually has the letter. maybe somebody else picked it up when i dropped all my stuff.”

picking up the polaroid again, you stared hard at it. stupid camera. if you hadn't focused so much on it, you wouldn’t have ran into taehyun and dropped the letter in the first place. you rose to your feet, your class was about to start. “you’ll find it, y/n. and then maybe this whole day will stop repeating.” chaewon spoke, trying to comfort you. you just nodded solemnly, setting the polaroid on your desk.

suddenly you felt super dizzy and nauseous, and there was a heaviness on your heart. you held your stomach as you doubled over. chaewon jumped to her feet, her hand coming to your back as she bent to see your face. “y/n? what’s wrong?” all you could do was shake your head. you didn’t know. you’ve never felt like this before.

the next thing you knew, you were waking up in your bed to your alarm. you looked around your empty dorm room with confused eyes. did the day restart? you looked to your nightstand. there the letter sat. slowly, you got out of your bed and stood in front of it.

how weird. that has never happened when you restarted a loop before. taehyun didn’t even reject you, the day just started over. maybe it doesn’t have to be face to face? but, you didn’t get a text or anything. and if it was a mental thing, the day would be over before you even woke up.

you were getting ready for the day when chaewon came in from her early morning class. quickly, you explained to her the time loop again and proved the validity of your statement. “we’ll talk later about it, i have to get to class.” you said as you turned to the door. that’s when your eye caught something.

the polaroid you accidentally took from the last loop. it was still sitting on your desk in the exact place you sat it down. you ran over to your desk and snatched the picture, holding it up. you felt chaewon come up behind you. “what is it? oh! is that you and taehyun? when did you take this?” chaewon asked.

“i didn’t…” you trailed. “at least, not this loop. this is from the last loop. how is it here?” what is going on? chaewon took the polaroid from you to get a closer look. “that is so strange…” you nodded in agreement.

you left for your class after putting the polaroid back in a safe space on your desk. for the most part, the day was the same, except this time you took your time with your items and made sure your bookbag was zipped all the way.

when you were walking out of the classroom, you heard your name being called from across the hallway. you panicked for a second, thinking you forgot the letter and chaewon was here to spill your crush again. turning to the direction your name was called, you were shocked to see taehyun walking up to you.

your throat closed up the closer and closer he got until he was standing in front of you and you could hardly breathe. this was it, the letter somehow slipped from your bookbag and ended up magically in his hands. he was here to reject you and the day would repeat again and again. “i have more classes, but do you mind if we talk later on today? this afternoon?” taehyun asked. your eyes widened.

what did he want to talk about? you racked your brain for answers that didn’t come to you. this never happened in a loop before. usually, taehyun just straight up rejects you. “uh—sure!” you manage to push out, a nervous smile playing on your lips. he smiled back, handing you a small piece of paper with his number on it. “i’ll text you the when and where.” you nodded numbly as he said goodbye and walked away. did you just get his number? just like that?

“what do you think he wants to talk about?” you asked chaewon. “do you think he remembers the last loop? knows why it ended so abruptly and why that polaroid remained?” she sat across from you on the floor, a puzzled look on her face that was the same as yours. she thought for a moment before shrugging. “i honestly have no idea…” her face then lit up with a thought. “what if your letter from the last loop remained too and since he allegedly had it, he read it early? but since it’s the basis of the loop—or so you think—it got copied somehow?”

that actually didn’t sound too far off. it would help make sense of the way the last loop ended. also on why he suddenly wanted to talk to you. “you might be onto something, chaewon…” you trailed as you thought more on what she said. “but the loop resets when he rejects me, and he always rejects me. so if he had already read it, he would’ve already rejected me.”

“maybe the rules changed… you did say he didn’t explicitly reject you last loop. maybe things are changing. maybe the loop is starting to end and that’s why all these weird things are happening?” chaewon interjected. you sighed deeply and just shrugged. your head was spinning from it all. “i guess i’ll find out later today.” just in that moment you got a text from taehyun. you had texted him earlier saying that this was your number.

hey, it’s taehyun! can we meet at the benches next to the arts building in three hours?

you breathed in sharply. chaewon leaned over and pulled your phone down so she could read the text. “let me know what he says!” you just laughed a little and nodded, standing to your feet to get ready for your next class. you typed a quick text back to him.

yeah, that works for me. see you there!

you heart was pounding rapidly in your chest. you hoped that what chaewon said was true, that things were changing and the loops were finally coming to an end. you don’t know how much longer of this time loop you could take.

it was the meeting time for you to see taehyun. you had grabbed the polaroid from the last loop from your desk to ask him about and see if he had any answers. the chill of the morning had settled into a cool warmth. you saw taehyun waiting for you on the bench and felt goosebumps rise on your skin as you wished you brought a jacket.

his head turned to you at the sound of your approaching footsteps and he rose to his feet. “hi,” you said shyly as the both of you sat on the bench. you sat your bookbag on the bench next to you. “hi,” he replied, a small smile on his face. “what did you want to talk about?” you asked him.

taehyun turned to dig in his bag. your hands shook slightly in anticipation. he then turned back to you, a crumpled envelope in his hands. it was your confession letter. confusion washed over you. but your letter was in your bag? taehyun opened his mouth to speak but you held up a hand to stop him.

reaching in your bag, you grabbed your letter and held it out next to the one taehyun had and compared the two. they were exactly the same, except for taehyun’s version being crumpled and a little worse for wear. was chaewon right? both you and taehyun stared at the letters in confusion. “impossible…” you muttered under your breath.

you looked up at him, “there’s no way you should have this letter…” you were truly at a loss for words. taehyun’s confused eyes looked at you. “you dropped it…” taehyun began to speak before trailing off. you stared at each other for a moment.

“no, i didn’t—i mean i did, but that was… you shouldn’t—what is happening?” you stumbled over your words.

“wait… you remember dropping it? when we bumped into each other?” taehyun asked you. you stared at him with wide eyes. instead of answering his question you asked, “you’ve been repeating this day too?”

taehyun looked taken aback for a second before slowly nodding. your eyes never left him as you thought about what this meant. all those loops of you pining, changing yourself, and obsessing over his acception; all those things you did to try and get him to like you, he remembers? all those loops he rejected you over and over… you knew he didn’t like you, that much was obvious, but the fact that he remembered every five hundred and forty-eighth rejection caused your heart to hurt in a way you never thought it could.

embarrassment heated your cheeks. in order to save face a little bit, you turned and reached in your own bag for the polaroid. you held it out next to the matching letters. “how did these survive the last loop if…” you trailed off as you snuck a glance at him. you didn’t want to bring up how he rejects you each time you confess to him. he gently took the polaroid from your hands as he analyzed it.

taehyun’s face lit up briefly and he pulled out the polaroid camera from his bag. suddenly, you were blinded by the flash as he aimed the camera towards you. “hey! what the—“ you got cut off by another flash, this time aimed towards him. you watched him in confusion as he sat the pictures down on top of the letters and you both waited for the pictures to develop.

as the image came in, you could see how the both of you were blurred in them, yet everything else wasn’t. you leaned forward slightly to see them closer. even the bench wasn’t blurred. you took the camera from taehyun and ran up to the random person walking past. “photography assignment, sorry!” you muttered out before aiming the camera at the two of you steadily and taking a picture. the person looked at you weirdly before continuing on their way.

you walked back over to taehyun as the photo developed and stopped right in front of him in shock as the image developed. “what is it?” taehyun asked, standing to his feet and coming by your side.

in the polaroid, it was only you who was blurred, not the other person. “this is so weird…” you breathed. taehyun nodded in agreement. “do you think this has to do with the time loop?” he then asked, referring to the blurriness. shrugging a little, you leaned over to the bench and grabbed the other three polaroids and held them all together. “it has to,” you replied.

you then turned to him, “how does the loop end for you? is it different each time or does something specific trigger it?” taehyun’s eyes suddenly averted and you saw his shoulders sag ever so slightly. he moves to sit back on the bench. “um… it’s my friend… he—he dies.” your eyes widen and you stare at him for a moment, mouth agape. “oh! oh… i’m so sorry taehyun…” you trailed off, also sitting on the bench.

taehyun clears his throat, opting to change the subject. “how does it restart for you?” taehyun asks. you hesitate for a second. is it appropriate to bring up him rejecting you after he just told you that his friend dying resets his loop? “uh… well, this feels really inappropriate to bring up after everything, but it’s when you reject me.” you manage to push out. taehyun’s eyebrows raise as he glances over to you. the awkwardness in the air is so thick you’d have trouble cutting it with a knife.

“wait…” you trail off. you haven’t heard anything about someone dying today. does that mean he experiences more of the day than you do? “your day extends farther than mine does. if we’re both in the same loop, how does that work?” taehyun hummed in thought. “i’m not sure… but without any interruptions or changes, my day always ends at the same time. eight forty-five P.M.” he then looked up to you. “have you made it that far? or past it?”

you looked down at your feet, not wanting to meet his gaze. it only happened a couple of times, enough to count on one hand. the last being the one where you tried burning the letter and it didn’t work. “a handful of times, but it was only by avoiding giving you the letter. you always ended up with it somehow…” you replied. taehyun nodded, more to himself. he must’ve remembered the times. “well there’s two letters now,” taehyun motioned to the letters, “so maybe the loop will change? i mean, i obviously know about the letter and the contents and you’re still here. that has to mean something, right?” you nodded in agreement, ignoring the fact that he essentially just rejected you again. it honestly didn’t even phase you anymore after all this time.

“what if our loops merged and mine now ends when yours does?” you threw out. it would make sense as to why you’re still on the bench talking. taehyun shrugged, “it’s possible…”

you turned to him fully, your hopeful eyes gleaming in the sunny afternoon light. “there’s two of us now, i can help you save your friend! and we can get them and chaewon together and come up with a plan! maybe saving them is what gets us out of the time loop.” when you noticed that he wasn’t responding, you shrunk back a little into the bench. “…if you’re okay with that.” you added in a quiet voice.

you could practically see the gears in taehyun’s head turning as he thought. it was another moment before he opened his mouth to respond to your proposal. “i guess it wouldn’t hurt… and while we’re at it we can test the time loop merging theory.” taehyun finally said. a wide grin pushed its way onto your face. you began cleaning up your things, making sure to shove the letter back into your bag even if he already knew about it, as you stood to your feet. taehyun gave you a confused look.

“where are you going?” he asked you. you gave him a confused smile, “to go get your friend and chaewon… if we’re gonna save your friend we have to start now!” taehyun slowly began cleaning his stuff up. “but… we have classes…” you let out a loud laugh and taehyun stood to his feet after putting his stuff away. “what’s a class that you’ve experienced almost six hundred times to saving your friend?”

taehyun slowly started to nod, “you’re right.” you nodded back to him. “of course i am. let’s go save your friend!” you grabbed his wrist and pulled him in the direction of the dorms. chaewon didn’t have a class right now, if you remember correctly.

you wished you were in a loop of seeing chaewon’s face when you brought taehyun to your dorm room instead of him rejecting you. chaewon in fact didn’t have classes, you were right. you pushed the door open to your shared dorm room, scaring her half to death. chaewon’s eyes widened and her mouth went slack as you pulled taehyun into the room and shut the door.

“change of plans…” you spoke, turning to the two of them. you motioned a finger in between you and taehyun. “he’s in a time loop too and we’re gonna save his friend from dying.” if chaewon’s jaw could drop further it would. she sputtered for a moment, trying to push her words out. “i know, i know. i was shocked and very embarrassed too. but we have work to do.”

taehyun turned to you. “embarrassed?” he asked. you felt your cheeks heat up. did he really have to ask that question? “well… you did reject me almost six hundred times. and you have memories of every single one. that is very embarrassing for me…” you turned away from him, suddenly finding your desk very interesting, as you talked. you heard an “oh…” from behind you and felt yourself die a little more inside.

you pulled out an empty unused notebook from your desk drawer and turned back to chaewon and taehyun. chaewon managed to pick her jaw off the floor and her eyes weren’t as wide. “who are we saving?” chaewon asked. the two of you turned to taehyun. his eyes widened ever so slightly from the sudden spotlight. “um… his name is hueningkai. he’s my best friend.” chaewon nodded, looking down slightly. “let’s get to work then! we have people to save, everyone!”

taehyun then led the two of you back to where hueningkai’s class was happening, which was building b. the three of you were standing outside of his classroom when taehyun glanced inside. “he’s still in class, but we can just wait—“ he was cut off by you barging into the classroom. another good thing that came out of this loop is that you pretty much don’t have fear about anything anymore—for the most part.

you looked back at taehyun as the teacher stopped mid sentence and the group of students stared at you confused. “which one is him?” you asked him. taehyun gaped at you, eyes wide. you sighed and turned back to the class. “hueningkai?” you asked aloud. “please step forward. uh… it’s very import—important business that you’re needed for.” you then remembered the teacher and quickly added, “the dean sent us.”

the teacher waved his hand and a guy close to the back stood slowly. hueningkai packed his things up and made his way to the front of the classroom. you gave him an awkward smile as the two of you walked out of the classroom, shutting the door behind you.

it was dead silent as the four of you walked out of the building. once you were in the clear of listening ears, you stopped and turned. hueningkai’s eyebrows were raised in confusion, an awkward smile on his face, as he looked between you and taehyun. “there’s no important business from the dean, she lied,” chaewon said. taehyun stepped towards hueningkai. “look, kai, this is gonna sound really weird but—“

you stepped to hueningkai and put your hands on his shoulders as you looked him in the eyes. “listen man, you’re gonna die today.” you heard a gasp come from behind you and taehyun started to say your name. you ignored both. “but that’s okay! because us two—” you motioned to you and taehyun with a finger “—are stuck in a time loop and we’re gonna save you!” you released him and took a couple steps back, nodding to yourself with a satisfied smile.

hueningkai looked absolutely terrified. “i’m gonna die?!” he exclaimed, taking a step back. chaewon took quick steps towards him, trying to give comfort. “no! well… i mean, yes, but we’re gonna stop that from happening!” she gave you a sharp glare and you noticed that taehyun had his head in his hands. maybe telling him outright was a bad idea…

taehyun pushed the two of you back. “kai… you get into an accident at eight forty-five… you don’t end up making it. i’ve been trapped in this time loop trying to make sure that you don’t die.” hueningkai took a deep breath as he stared at taehyun with furrowed eyebrows. he then ran a hand through his dark hair. “okay… so i die today. never thought i would say that.” hueningkai looked between the three of you. “so how do i not die today?”

you pulled the notebook out of your bag as you began coming up with the pillars of the plan. “first, we all go together in some safe space where we know nothing’s going to happen to you. also so we can see how far we can push the day before it resets for taehyun and i.” you started. “how about our dorm room?” chaewon asked. you turned to taehyun and hueningkai. they looked at each for a second before shrugging. “let’s head there now then!” you added.

thankfully nothing happened on the walk from hueningkai’s class to your dorm room. chaewon had gone out to get snacks and other things for the long night you all were about to have. you all decided that you were gonna skip the rest of your classes as well.

you were in the process of writing the ways that taehyun had tried to save hueningkai that ultimately ended up failing when hueningkai asked, “just how many times have you watched me die?” there was a pained expression on taehyun’s face that he tried to mask with a wistful smile. he looked towards you, “how many loops has it been now?” you stopped to think. “this is the five hundred and forty-ninth loop.” taehyun turned back to hueningkai. “um… about five hundred and forty-seven times, give or take.” hueningkai’s face paled significantly.

taehyun scrunched his face up as he looked back towards you. “if this loop just resets, what’s the point of writing this all down then?” that made you stop dead in your tracks. what was the point? “can’t you take a picture of it?” hueningkai asked. taehyun had filled him in on everything on the walk to the dorms. you looked at him with knitted eyebrows. “well, you said the polaroids stayed when you went into a new loop… just take a picture of it!” he added.

you guess that made sense. “but what if they don’t stay since it’s not of us?” taehyun asked. you pulled your polaroid camera from your bag and held up the notebook next to taehyun’s face as you got close. you quickly snapped the picture and sat it down on the hardwood floor in the center of you all as you waited for it to develop. “problem solved!” you smiled. taehyun blinked rapidly at you.

just then, chaewon came through the door with a couple bags in her hands. “i got snacks!” she exclaimed. she sat them on her desk and sat in the empty spot of the semi-circle. “what did i miss?” she asked as she leaned over to look at the newly developed polaroid on the ground. “writing down all the ways taehyun failed to save my life!” hueningkai laughed, before he saw the grave expression on taehyun’s face. “joking!” he then quickly added. hueningkai put his hand on taehyun’s shoulder. “it’s okay taehyun, we’re gonna figure it out. i’m gonna get saved and you’re both gonna get out of this time loop!”

“speaking of…” you trailed. you held the camera up so the four of you were all in frame. “say cheese!” you said, smiling for the camera. you heard a chorus of “cheese!” behind you as you snapped the picture. you sat that polaroid next to the other one on the floor. “just to make explaining more easier.” you added.

“if you keep snapping pictures you’re gonna run out of film,” said taehyun. you laughed a little, “it’s practically unlimited, given the loop.” he shrugged slightly, agreeing with you. “have either of you figured out why you’re blurry in the pictures?” chaewon asked you and taehyun. you both shook your head. hueningkai perked up. “maybe it’s because everyone and everything around you is essentially stagnant. like, technically none of us change by the end of the loop. we’ll all reset. but the two of you do—even if it’s not physically. you have the memories and experiences of the past however many loops you’ve been through!”

it was as if suddenly things started to click into place. “you’re right! if you think about it, we’ve been in this loop for like a year and a half days wise. yeah, some days were shorter and longer than others, but a year and a half nonetheless! time around us is kinda frozen if you think about it. maybe the camera picks up on that and we’re blurry because we’re the only things in motion!” you were waving your hands in the air, speaking a mile a minute, hoping you were getting your point across. taehyun’s face lit up more and more as you spoke and he nodded along.

“do you think it’s the same with our phones?” taehyun asked as he pulled out his phone. you all shrugged. he turned the camera towards you all and snapped a picture. taehyun turned back towards you all with a confused expression. hueningkai leaned next to him over his phone. “what is it?” you asked as you leaned forward. “it didn’t even take the picture… how weird,” taehyun replied. you looked over at chaewon. she raised an eyebrow at you, “maybe it’s because it’s new technology?” none of you really had an explanation.

the rest of the night went by pretty insignificantly. you all had gotten a bunch of blankets to make a makeshift bed on the floor for taehyun and hueningkai. everything started to go wrong in the middle of the movie you were all watching.

the four of you were sitting on the floor, a laptop with the movie playing in front of you, when all of a sudden you heard coughing. you snapped your head over to hueningkai, who’s face was turning red by the second. “oh my god! is he choking?” you heard chaewon ask as taehyun started frantically hitting hueningkai’s back. you jumped up to grab a water bottle.

handing the water bottle to hueningkai, he croaks out, “it’s my throat…” he tried getting the water bottle open to no avail. “is he allergic?” you turned to taehyun and asked, referring to the popcorn you were all eating. he was practically drowning hueningkai with water as he rapidly shook his head. hueningkai was turning blue. you, taehyun, and chaewon were all flying around the small dorm room trying anything to help hueningkai but it seemed as if nothing was working.

suddenly, it seemed as if everything stopped. you looked to taehyun, who had frozen in his spot. he looked back to you, his eyes wide and glossy, and you realized that hueningkai’s chest wasn’t moving.

the next moment, you were waking up in your bed the morning of february fourteenth, marking the five hundred and fiftieth loop. you didn’t waste any time. the polaroids from the last loop sat on top of your dresser where you had put them before the movie. you grabbed them just as chaewon came into the dorm room.

convincing her wasn’t that hard to begin with, but it was significantly easier with the polaroids. especially the one of the four of you. the two of you rushed to your morning class that you shared with taehyun, hoping that he has the same idea with hueningkai.

you saw him rushing up the hallway opposite from you, a confused hueningkai in tow. you barely stopped for a breath when you reached them as you pulled out the polaroids. “time loop, understand?” you asked hueningkai. he looked at the polaroid for a brief moment before nodding. you exhaled and doubled over, you and chaewon had practically ran across campus. looking down, you also realized that you were still in your pajamas.

“um… so that didn’t work…” you breathed, turning to taehyun. he simply nodded, eyes to the floor. he too was in his pajamas. the two of you must’ve looked crazy. “i don’t understand…” taehyun trailed off. he led the three of you towards the exit of the building. “if he wasn’t choking, then how did he…” he added, looking off to the side.

you stopped and waved them all over to the bench to sit. taehyun ran his hands through his hair. “i don’t know,” you spoke quietly. chaewon and hueningkai both gave you confused looks. you forgot that they didn’t remember the last loop. quickly, you filled them in on what happened, watching as shocked expression took over their faces.

“and you’re sure you’re not allergic to popcorn?” chaewon asked, leaning forward to look at hueningkai. “butter? salt? anything that goes into making popcorn?” hueningkai shook his head, “no… not at all. i’m confused as to how that happened too.”

taehyun was quiet next to you. his head was in his hands and he was bent over. you put a hand on his back as you leaned down a little. “taehyun?” you asked quietly. you felt him inhale deeply. he sat up slowly and rubbed at his eyes.

“five hundred and fifty times…” taehyun started. “five hundred and fifty times and you would think that i would be somewhat used to it by now. use to death.” he dragged his hands away from his eyes. they landed heavily in his lap. your hand moved from his back to his shoulder. taehyun turned to his right to face hueningkai, “i’m so sorry, kai. i don’t know how to save you.”

you shook your head at that even though he wasn’t facing you. taehyun continued, “at this point, i don’t even know if it’s possible. you would think it would be, given the circumstances, but each loop keeps proving me wrong. i don’t know what else to do, but i can’t just let you die.” his voice cracked as he spoke and got lower and lower until his last sentence was just above a whisper. you felt your heart break at his sentiment.

you couldn’t help but think about how foolish you’ve been for the majority of this time loop. you spent so much time trying to get taehyun to like you back while he’s spent the whole time loop trying to save his best friend from a brutal ending. that time could’ve been spent coming up with ideas together, using your combined ideas to try and save hueningkai from death. but no, you were changing your appearance and crying over the fact he kept rejecting you. how idiotic. your face flushed with shame and embarrassment.

“we are going to save him,” you spoke confidently. taehyun turned to you, his face was stained with tears. “how? i’ve tried everything and nothing has worked.” you stood from the bench, thankfully the area around you wasn’t that populated with students.

“we have to get to the roots of the time loop,” you said, hitting your fist on your palm. “we don’t know how we got into it, we don’t know how to get out of it, and we don’t know why we’re the only two who are initially aware of it. so we have to start listing what we do know and work from there. we both know how the time loop restarts, and it has basically been confirmed that our loop restarts have been merged.” you didn’t want to outright list the reason, it was clear they understood what it was. no use in pushing the knife deeper into the wound.

you continued, “we need to know if there’s a general cutoff point to each loop.” chaewon nodded along, “do you remember what the time was when the last loop ended?” she spoke softly as she glanced over to taehyun and hueningkai. you shook your head. taehyun wiped his cheeks and furrowed his brows. “i think it was midnight?” he said, uncertainty in his voice. “i remember checking my phone like ten minutes before everything happened and it was 11:47pm.”

“and you said i was completely fine before…” hueningkai motioned over to you. you nodded. “so i would say that the general cutoff would be midnight, or the second before. it would make sense… you’re only limited to this one day within the loop.” hueningkai looked around at the three of you, seeing if you got what he was saying. you all nodded.

you motioned for them all to stand. “alright let’s go then!” taehyun stood and gave you a confused look, “go where?” you gave him a slightly amused look as you raised your eyebrows. “we’re gonna need a lot more than a notebook if we’re gonna plan this all out.”

you were thankful that you were on a college campus, so the confused and curious looks were at a minimum as the four of you carried four large poster boards across the sidewalks. you were heading to the library where chaewon had set up a meeting room for you all to sit down and work through your plan.

once you got to the library and the room chaewon had reserved, you breathed in deeply as you shut and locked the door behind you. hueningkai was laying the poster boards across the large table side by side. you walked over and began opening the pack of permanent markers you had bought as taehyun put both of your polaroid cameras on the table.

“okay,” you sighed as you began, opening the marker and leaning over the table to write on one of the poster boards. in big letters at the top you wrote ‘WHAT WE KNOW’ and added a bullet point for the loop ending at midnight, or the second before, exactly. “so we know that the loop ends at least the second before midnight.” you spoke and stood straight. “and we know that hueningkai wasn’t choking on anything. so that means we can conclude it was some magic of the time loop itself. the next thing we need to figure out is how to trick the loop.”

taehyun turned to look up at you from his seat next to you. “trick the loop? what do you mean?” before you could speak, chaewon did. “the day was just about to change, right, meaning that you had almost broken the loop. but at the last moment, hueningkai suddenly died. that means that somehow the time loop itself is aware. which means—“

“we have to trick it!” you, chaewon, taehyun, and hueningkai said in unison. their faces all brightened and you smiled to yourself. hueningkai’s eyebrows knitted together slightly. “but how do we trick the all-knowing time loop into believing i’m dead without me, you know, actually dying?” he asked, causing a couple chuckles to be let out around the room. the tension in the air lifted a little and your smile widened with newfound hope.

you leaned back over to the next poster board and reached over to the top of it. “by entering what i like to call phase two,” you spoke as you wrote ‘PHASE TWO’ on the poster board. under it you wrote, ‘WE KILL HUENINGKAI AND REVIVE HIM JUST BEFORE MIDNIGHT.’ you looked up to wide eyes looking back at you. “and just how are you expecting us to do that?” taehyun interjected.

you smiled at him, eyes burning brightly, “it’s simple. we stop hueningkai’s heart three to four minutes before midnight—preferably three to be safe. in the seconds before it actually hits midnight, we perform cpr and save him!” it seemed like a good idea to you. i mean, it was really the only idea. hueningkai scrunched his face up, “i don’t know about this…”

“we’ll it’s either you die—briefly—and get revived, or you just straight up die. so pick your poison,” chaewon said. you heard taehyun mutter “jesus…” under his breath. hueningkai blinked at her.

“i guess either way i’m dying, so i would prefer it to not be permanent,” hueningkai spoke. you nodded in satisfaction. “how are we even gonna kill him in a way that doesn’t actually hurt him? in a way we can actually bring him back?” taehyun asked you. your smile fell slightly, you hadn’t really thought that part through. before you could say that you weren’t exactly sure, a phone ringing cut you off.

hueningkai looked around at the three of you with a sheepish smile as he pulled the ringing phone from his pocket. he looked down at the caller id, “it’s my sister. i’m sorry, i gotta take this.” a worried expression passed across taehyun’s face as he began to stand. “no, you stay. i’ll go with him. the two of you remember all the other loops anyways, you need all the information you can get,” chaewon said as she stood to her feet. taehyun hesitated before nodding and falling back down on his seat. hueningkai and chaewon left the room, leaving you inside alone with taehyun.

you pulled out the chair in front of you, which was directly next to taehyun, and sat down. you wished that your heart didn’t speed up at the fact that you were alone with him. even now, your feelings for him haven’t changed. you were still in love with him, the confession letter still sat heavily in your bag.

“y/n?” taehyun asked. you turned to him in question. “i just wanted to say thank you. you know, for helping me in all this to save kai. you didn’t have to, but you did anyways, and i’m grateful for that. clearly, i wouldn’t have been able to do it alone.” you smiled softly at him. “it’s no problem! i mean, we’re in this together. literally.”

taehyun laughed at that and it made your heart soar. you were happy you could make him laugh after seeing him cry earlier. glad that you could give him some hope in this fucked up situation. “seriously though, y/n. thank you,” taehyun smiled at you, his eyes boring into yours. you gave a nod in response, your smile warming. “i’m here for you!” taehyun’s smile widened.

you were just doing what anyone would do if they were in this situation. there wasn’t any need to put you on some pedestal and give you a good person award because of it.

before you could get too lost in taehyun’s eyes, you turned back to the poster boards with heated cheeks. under ‘WHAT WE KNOW,’ you began filling in everything that you were a hundred percent certain of about the time loop, taehyun aiding you. when hueningkai and chaewon came back inside the room, thankfully none of them harmed, the two of you were shoulder to shoulder, each writing on seperate poster boards. taehyun had used the third poster board to write down things he tried that failed to save hueningkai, ‘WHAT FAILED’ written at the top.

hueningkai and chaewon had sat in the seats across from you two, looking at everything you had added. “do you think there’s a way we could make these stay between loops? like the letters and polaroids besides taking a picture?” taehyun asked you, waving a hand with a marker in it over the poster boards. you sat back in your seat in thought and looked over to the polaroids that were spread out next to the cameras.

you tried thinking of an idea, but came up blank. “i have no clue. i mean, it has to be possible. we still don’t really know why there are two letters.” it was silent for a moment as everyone thought it over. “you said your loops essentially merged to join his, right?” chaewon asked you, causing you to nod. “and you said that when that happened, the letter was missing and the loop ended suddenly, causing the letter to duplicate and for you both to have one. now the time loop restarts for the both of you when he—“ she jabbed a thumb in hueningkai’s direction “—dies. have you tried seeing what happens what happens when… you know…” chaewon trailed, referring to you getting rejected.

you glanced over to taehyun to see that his eyes were fixed onto the table, cheeks flushed. you bet you didn’t look too different. you both haven’t really talked much about that part of the loop. granted, you had better things to worry about. “i mean… just to make sure that the loop doesn’t restart…” chaewon added awkwardly.

clearing your throat, you reached for your book bag to pull out the letter. you sat it on the table between you and taehyun and looked at him. “well… let’s try it so we can add it to the list.” just like that, awkward tension grew in the room.

taehyun swallowed thickly and reached for the letter. opening it, he read over the contents swiftly, already knowing exactly what it says. he looked up at you, his eyes meeting yours. “i… i’m sorry, y/n, but i…— don’t feel the same way about you.” taehyun folded the letter back up as he looked away. you looked down to your feet. the tension in the air grew thicker.

silence hung in the air for a few moments, before you couldn’t take any more of it. “okay! we’re still here, so…” you turned to write on the ‘WHAT WE KNOW’ poster board. you then looked around the room. everyone was avoiding each other’s eyes. “back to figuring out ways to kill hueningkai… any ideas that won't ultimately hurt him in the long run?”

“what if i held my breath?” hueningkai asked, causing you and the others to laugh. you breathed a sigh of relief as the tension started to dissipate. “that wouldn’t work, your body would literally make you start breathing again,” taehyun replied, a grin playing on his lips.

chaewon face brightened with an idea, “what if we drowned him!” you, hueningkai, and taehyun gave her a shocked look and chaewon then realized she said that a bit too enthusiastically. “i would rather not be drowned,” hueningkai exclaimed as he gave a small smile to chaewon, a laugh at the edges of his voice. she chuckled slightly in return.

“suffocation?” taehyun offered. hueningkai tilted his head, “and would you be doing the honors of holding the pillow over my face?” taehyun smirked at him and replied, “if you want!” as they talked, you were writing all the ideas down, excluding hueningkai holding his breath.

hueningkai clapped his hands together, “suffocation it is!”

“what if your body starts fighting back?” you asked, genuinely curious. hueningkai hummed in thought. from the corner of your eye you could see taehyun stifling a laugh. “make sure you tie me down then,” hueningkai replied.

“kinky,” taehyun muttered under his breath, backing away from hueningkai’s attempt to shove him from across the table with a grin. you finished writing and put the cap on the marker, tapping it against the table. “let’s get to it then!” you smirked.

suddenly, chaewon spurted, “what if when you past midnight, things change for the worst?” everyone stopped in their tracks and the room fell deathly silent. what did she mean ‘change for the worst’? the thought seeped into your head like ink and you tried not to let it spread over your thoughts. “that won’t happen,” hueningkai assured everyone, though he didn’t seem to believe his own words that much. if you were in his position—hell, you don’t even need to be in his position—you wouldn’t believe them either.

you glanced over to taehyun who, in turn, was already looking at you with wide eyes. his thoughts in them were clear; we all have to make it past midnight alive and well. all of us.

back at you and chaewon’s dorm, it was twenty minutes until midnight and you could feel the stress swirling around the room. you all basically spent the whole day in your dorm room, staring at the walls, too scared to eat or drink or even watch anything on the off chance it might somehow kill hueningkai.

at some point, chaewon suggested that you all got to know each other. you didn’t miss the sly smirk she gave you either, deciding to ignore it with a roll of you eyes. halfway through, she suddenly struck up a conversation with hueningkai about some school topic that you knew she didn’t have any interest in, leaving you and taehyun to continue the game alone.

deep down, you felt thankful for chaewon, even if she was deliberately trying to set you up right now. honestly, you didn’t know how you would’ve got through this time loop without her.

you and taehyun started asking the randomest of questions to each other. spanning from what your favorite color was to if you had to be any planet in the solar system, which planet would it be and why. your face was flushed with heat that you hoped he didn’t notice as the two of you grew closer. the confession letter burned hotly in your bag across the room, you could feel it like a tether to your soul, begging you to come closer. to reveal it.

during the exchange, you and taehyun somehow got closer and closer to each other as you answered the questions. the two of you were laughing and smiling at each other as your knees and shoulders brushed together from your closeness. you hadn’t even realized that chaewon and hueningkai were whispering to each other now as they stared at the two of you.

the night continued like that up till now. the room was so silent you could hear a pin drop. hueningkai was laying on your bed, eyes staring blankly up at the ceiling. chaewon kept her eyes on the clock on her phone. she downloaded an app that allowed her to see down to the millisecond. you and taehyun were still sitting on the floor, just as close as you had been the whole day.

you looked at him and his eyes trailed over to yours from where he was watching hueningkai on the bed. you gave him a slight nod, squeezing his knee briefly before standing to your feet. “we should get ready,” you said. the others nodded in agreement.

ten minutes until midnight and the pillow was shaking in taehyun’s hands as he stood at the edge of the bed, looking down to hueningkai. you stood next to him and chaewon stood behind you, giving you updates on the time. “it’s okay taehyun,” hueningkai whispered as he looked at him. taehyun just shook his head solemnly in response.

hueningkai sat up, throwing his feet over the edge of the bed in between you and taehyun. “i’m gonna try holding my breath,” he spoke. taehyun opened his mouth to argue, but hueningkai swiftly cut him off with, “i’m holding my breath. if it doesn’t work, well, you guys are in a time loop...” he scooted backwards so his back was flush with the wall.

“five minutes until midnight,” chaewon announced. hueningkai looked at the both of you. “be ready to revive me…” he trailed. hueningkai opened his mouth wide, gulping in as much air as he possibly could before closing it tightly with puffed cheeks. he closed his eyes, letting his head hang and his body relax.

you felt something squeeze your hand tightly and glanced down to see that it was taehyun’s hand. you felt it tremble as his locked nervous stare remained on hueningkai. “two minutes,” chaewon breathed out.

hueningkai’s face was turning purple and you wanted to advert your eyes so badly but couldn’t let yourself. his body watch twitching as it fought against him and his eyes squeezed together tighter. at this point, you didn’t know if it was him or the magic of the time loop taking over. hueningkai’s body went still and he fell over limply, his final breath smoking out between newly parted lips, just as chaewon called, “one minute, it’s go time!”

taehyun was squeezing your hand so tightly you thought it might break, but you didn’t make any moves to remove it from his grasp. chaewon started to count to twenty and as soon as she hit it, taehyun jumped into action. he pulled hueningkai towards him and the two of you got him down to the ground as gently and as fastly as you could. chaewon started doing cpr on him and there was nothing you and taehyun could do but watch and wait.

chaewon had thrown her phone to you when she dropped to the ground, and you took over managing the time. “thirty seconds!” you shouted, as chaewon started pushing on hueningkai’s chest in regulated increments and blowing air into his mouth.

“ten seconds,” you managed nervously. hueningkai still wasn’t breathing. you heard taehyun’s heavy breathing next to you as you watched the numbers grow closer to midnight. with your eyes still on the clock, you took taehyun’s hand as the final three seconds were up.

you woke up in your bed, confession letter on your nightstand, on the five hundred and fifty-first loop. you jumped to your feet, wasting no time as you grabbed your things, when there was rapid knocking at your door. you turned to the door in confusion. when you opened it, a frazzled looking taehyun was on the other side. you beckoned him in.

“so stupid…” taehyun muttered under his breath as he paced the room. “so stupid to let that idiot hold his breath, what was i thinking?” you walked up to him and put your hands on his shoulders, forcing him to stop his pacing and to look at you. “taehyun, take a deep breath,” you said as you stared into his eyes intently. you felt his shoulders rise and fall as he obeyed your command, his eyes fluttering closed. he took another before opening them again.

taehyun took your hands in his. “we’re gonna save him,” you said softly. “all of this isn’t just on your shoulders, okay? we’re in this together. let me share some of the weight.” taehyun’s eyes were trained to the ground as he nodded. just then, chaewon entered the room.

she saw the two of you, your close stance and intertwined hands, and froze mid walk. her mouth opened but you broke away from taehyun and strode up to her before she could say anything. “chaewon! we need your help! we’ll explain on the way.”

later that day, the four of you were once again in you and chaewon’s dorm room. ten minutes until midnight on the clock and taehyun gripped the pillow in his hands so hard his knuckles were white. hueningkai was laying flat on your bed again, looking up to the ceiling.

“five minutes, go time,” chaewon said as she moved closer to the two of you. you gave taehyun an encouraging smile as hueningkai closed his eyes. inside, your stomach churned. you really hoped it worked this time, you don’t know how many times you could watch taehyun essentially kill his best friend to save his life. your heart ached for taehyun, you didn’t know how many more times he could watch his best friend die—let alone be the one to kill him.

taehyun lifted the pillow mere inches above hueningkai’s face. the pillow shook from his trembling. “i’m so sorry, kai,” taehyun whispered, letting the pillow fall from his hands. he took a large step backwards and folded into himself.

you couldn’t let this loop go to waste. springing into action, you inhaled deeply as you pushed the pillow down onto hueningkai’s face. behind you, you heard chaewon say, “you’re on time.” chaewon was then next to you, holding hueningkai down to make sure he didn’t move.

“tw—two minutes,” taehyun’s voice shook. hueningkai’s body stilled once again and you and chaewon brought him to the floor to begin cpr.

“ten s-seconds,” stuttered taehyun. chaewon was laser focused on reviving as you sat and watched. in your head, you counted down. hueningkai didn’t wake back up.

sighing, you woke up to the five hundred and fifty-fifth loop; the others failing once again. four times hueningkai had died. four more times you had failed to save him. this time, chaewon had the idea of hueningkai drinking a bunch of energy drinks before his untimely demise to help jumpstart his heart better. when she said it, you all looked at her with amusement, but any idea is better than no ideas right about now.

taehyun was at your door again, like he was for the past four loops. when he entered, he immediately pulled you into his embrace. for once, the time loop was good for something, you thought. it’s a blessing that the two of you don’t dream, you feared that that would break taehyun completely.

you rubbed taehyun’s back as he tried to stop himself from shaking. he pulled away slightly as he looked into your eyes. “y/n, i know the two of us have grown closer through dubious means, but i am truly glad i got to know you. even if this time loop never ends, even if i have to watch my best friend die over and over and over again, at least you’re there by my side. at least you’re the constant hope that’s here keeping me grounded.” taehyun cupped your cheek, pausing to take a shaky breath.

briefly, he glanced over to your nightstand where your confession letter laid next to your unmade bed. “it’s funny, february thirteenth—god, that feels like a lifetime ago—there was a singular shooting star that night. i was with kai and he was egging me on to make a wish. ‘to always be by his side,’ i wished, ‘to be his best friend forever and to keep him safe. to stay in his moment of happiness where nothing can even fathom touching us.’” taehyun let out a wry laugh before continuing. “the night he first died, i prayed for a miracle, for something, anything. screamed at the sky at the fact that shooting stars were pointless.”

he looked back to your eyes, a glossy layer covering his own. you quietly inhaled at his vulnerability, it all taking you off guard despite the amount of times you’ve seen him cry now. you intertwined your hands together, like you’ve done for the past four loops.

“i know now that shooting stars don’t fly for me. that miracles are one in a million. but despite all of that, you still give me hope. and i know that no matter what happens, we’ll still see each other again,” taehyun concluded. tears brimmed at the corner of your eyes and taehyun brought his hands back to your cheeks softly.

it was as if time moved in slow motion, taehyun moving towards you. when his lips pressed to yours, it was as if all the stars had aligned. you felt the morning sun heat your skin through your open blinds. he was wrong, shooting stars did fly, and they flew for the both of you.

when you both pulled away, slightly out of breath, you couldn’t help the smile that was on your lips. “i made a wish too,” you said quietly, just loud enough for him to hear. “that no matter the outcome, no matter if you accepted my confession or rejected it, you’d continue being the person i grew feelings for. that your smile would always light up a room and bring joy to all of those around you. that i’d get to see your smiling face, full of happiness, everyday. that you’d always be happy.” as you spoke, the smile on taehyun’s face only grew wider, warming your heart and proving your point.

“shooting stars do fly for you, i’ll make sure of it if i have to. and you’re right,” you booped his nose slightly making him giggle, “we will see each other again. and you’ll see hueningkai again on a day that isn’t this dreaded godforsaken day. i’ll make sure of it.” taehyun pulled you in for another kiss just as chaewon entered. the two of you didn’t mind her, pulling each other closer.

“ten minutes,” chaewon called. at this point, you didn’t even need her announcements. you had the time down to a science. you looked to hueningkai, “you’re gonna live. i promise you that.” he looked over to you, a wide and wishful smile spreading across his face. how you wished that he and chaewon could remember the loops with you and taehyun. the four of you had grown so close given the circumstances that it made you sad that the slate got erased each time. but, it also made you happy. once you were all out of this time loop you could start anew, fresh. at least, in a way.

no doubt this time loop will always follow you and taehyun, like a ghost clinging to your shoulders. i mean, it’s been all you’ve known for so long, how could it not? you just hope you’re able to move past it and finally live normal lives.

“i hope so!” hueningkai exclaimed. you felt it deep inside. this time, your plan was gonna work. hueningkai downed the small case of energy drinks, cringing at the taste of them, and laid back down. he nodded at you and taehyun, signifying he was ready. “five minutes,” chaewon spoke, passing her phone to taehyun. you gave taehyun a smile. it was going to work this time.

the pillow came down and hueningkai’s body stilled as there were two minutes until midnight. you and chaewon brought him to the floor and the three of you crowded around his body. taehyun took your hand, giving it a squeeze, as you looked at each other. chaewon began cpr.

ten seconds until midnight and counting, chaewon shouted that she had a pulse. five seconds until midnight, hueningkai gasped in a breath of air and his eyes fluttered open. for the first time in all of the five hundred and fifty-five loops you’ve been through, you watched as taehyun cried tears of happiness. the three of you pulled hueningkai into your arms, laughing with joy at the fact that he was still alive.

“it’s 12:01am,” hueningkai’s raspy voice spoke as he pointed to chaewon’s discarded phone next to you all. you let out a gasp as you and taehyun stared at each other with wide eyes. “we did it,” he spoke, disbelief rounding the edges of his voice. “we did it!” you echoed, a large smile breaking out on your face. you bent down and hugged hueningkai, “you’re alive!”

you felt a pull deep within you, and the next thing you knew, you were waking up in your dorm room again. confusion pulled your brows and you stood to your feet slowly, looking at the confession letter on your nightstand in slight horror. no, this couldn’t be. this was impossible.

taehyun burst through the door of your room a minute later, not even bothering to knock, with a sleepy hueningkai behind him. chaewon was a close second behind them. with wide eyes, taehyun exclaimed, “he remembers! the time loop, he remembers!”

“i remember too!” chaewon laughed. you all let out shocked laughs, not quite sure how else to react. the four of you fell into a group hug. you would kill to see an outside perspective of all of this. four frazzled college students in their various pajamas with the weight of the world on their shoulders, seeing things that nobody else has seen before. it would sure be a sight to behold.

“so is this just a regular day then?” hueningkai asked, his voice muffled between the layers of clothing. “we get through today and tomorrow will finally not be valentine’s day?” you laughed as you pulled away, the others doing the same. “we just gotta get through today!”

taehyun turned to hueningkai, “you will not be leaving my sight today. we don’t need to enter another time loop.” hueningkai laughed and just nodded, a smile lingering on his lips. “what’s another day indoors?” chaewon smiled.

you all spent the day in taehyun and hueningkai’s dorm instead of you and chaewon’s. you all desperately needed the change of scenery. at one point, you all became curious to see if anybody else remembered the last loop besides the four of you. hueningkai managed to convince taehyun to let him roam around the dorms with chaewon to find out, “i just can’t say no to him,” taehyun had said.

when the two of you were alone in the dorm room, you pulled your confession letter out of your bag and presented it in front of taehyun. he laughed a little, “what are you doing?” you smiled, pushing it towards him more. “will you be my valentine?”

taehyun took the letter and opened it, like he did so many times before that he could read every word by heart. tell you where each spec of glitter resided on the pink paper. he read over the letter one more time, mock surprise and shock on his face. “i like you too, of course i’ll be your valentine.” he pulled you in for a gentle kiss, smiling against your lips as you giggled.

“will you be my girlfriend?” taehyun asked once you pulled away. your smile widened, “i don’t know… maybe you’ll have to ask me over and over and over for me to decide.” he playfully rolled his eyes at your teasing. “i’ve liked you since the beginning, you know. you didn’t think i didn’t notice you staring at me in class? sitting just in the right seat so i’m always in your view?” you face heated tremendously and taehyun laughed as his thumbs brushed over your warm cheeks. “you didn’t notice that we were always in at least one class together? how no matter where one of us sat, we could still see each other?”

you pressed your lips to his to shut him up, not needing any more embarrassment. “i’ll be your girlfriend,” you chuckled as you pulled away. “it’s already bad enough you remember the early loops—god, i’ll never live that embarrassment down!”

“it was cute to see how much you liked me! i only rejected you because i had to focus on saving kai. if we weren’t in that stupid time loop we would’ve been together ages ago!” taehyun said, causing you to smile warmly at him. you laid your head on his shoulder and he laid his head on top of yours. “you know, at the campfire party, i was gonna ask you out but you spoke before i could and the loop restarted before i could say anything.”

you pulled away and whipped your head to face him, “what?” you urged him to explain himself. laughing, taehyun said, “yeah! when the letter magically flew into my hands? i had came up to you to ask you out but you assumed i was there to reject you again, which i mean, i don’t blame you for…” you looked at him in shock.

shoving taehyun lightly, you gasped in disbelief before pulling him towards you into a kiss. the door to his dorm jiggled dramatically, causing you both to pull away with a laugh. chaewon and hueningkai came into the room with shielded eyes. “you both decent?” chaewon asked. you just shook your head at them which chuckling, “we weren’t doing anything, assholes.” they uncovered their eyes and stepped further into the room, closing the door.

they sat down in front of you, giving each other a look and then high-fiving. you raised an eyebrow at them. “finally the two of you got together! chaewon and i were talking and it’s ridiculous how you both didn’t see how much you liked each other,” hueningkai said. you looked over to taehyun to see him roll his eyes, a small smile on his face.

the four of you stayed in the dorms for the rest of the day, hanging out and chatting together. you were happy you were getting to know them better, even if you did slightly freak them out with information they technically never told you about.

you were all leaned over chaewon’s phone, five minutes until midnight. taehyun’s eyes were on kai like a hawk and you could tell kai was nervous too by the way he kept fidgeting with the string on his pajama pants. “deep breaths everyone, everything is gonna be okay,” you said encouragingly. inhales we’re heard around the circle and the tension started to lift a little.

“ten seconds,” chaewon announced. you all watched as the numbers climbed to midnight, and then to 12:01 and 12:02 and all the way to 12:05am. taehyun let out a long sigh of relief, closing his eyes briefly. “thank god, i’m starving!” kai said. you and chaewon jumped to your feet in excitement. “we fucking did it!” you shouted in celebration, pulling the two boys up to join you. you pulled the polaroid camera from out your bag and snapped a picture of the four of you, needing to cement this occasion forever.

“finally, february fifteenth, i could kiss the ground you walk on!” taehyun murmured, pulling you all into one big hug. you held onto them all. you had all made it, together. you tightened your grip on them, and you were never letting go.

© jjunieworld - all rights reserved. please do not repost on any social media sites, translate, or modify any of my works.

taglist: @jjunberry @gothgyuu @spooksh0wbabe @beargyuuzz @kittyhyuka @hueningm1ckey @dani-is-tired @soobieboobiedoobiedaboobie

masterlist┊request rules ✧.ﾟ٩(๑>◡<๑)۶:｡♡

[iadoreneteyam]

Hi! I was wondering if I could request a miles 42 x reader where’s she has really bad eyesight and she misplaced her glasses after staying over at his place so she bumps absolutely every surface in the house so he’s just dying laughing and then helps her up and hands her the glasses, which were always in his possession.

Muy agradecida y gracias 💝

title: so not cool dude

character: earth 42 miles morales

type: pure fluff

request or not: request

status: unedited

a/n: I really hope you don’t mind that these aren’t in my usual writing form. If you do let me know so I can condense it down to that. Hope you enjoy!

“Wake up, mami” Miles kissed your cheek as you were released from your slumber. You smiled at him and he grabbed your face to guide you to his lips before you reach over him to the bed side table. Your smiled dropped as you felt around the general vicinity of where your glasses were meant to be. They were gone.

“Miles, I lost my glasses.” You told your boyfriend and looked at him seriously. Miles knew about your eyesight, of course he did he’s your boyfriend, but he didn’t always take it as serious as you did. “We’ll find ‘em in the minute, ight mami” Miles brushed off your concern and continued to attack your neck with kisses.

“This is serious. I legit can’t see without them.” You explained to Miles before pinching his sides with your nails to get him off of you. Miles sucked in his breath quickly and grabbed your hand. “Ow! Didn’t think you were into all that, mami, but I’m into whatever.” Miles stuck your hand in his mouth and bit your finger.

“Shut the fuck up and find my glasses!” You pushed Miles out of the bed and then shooed him off as a sign to hurry. “Uh-uh, mami. You want me to find your glasses alone?” Miles gave you a questioning look before getting down on his knees to search under the bed.

“Well, that’s not gonna cut it!” What you could make out of Miles grin is contagious but your smile quickly dropped when you felt Miles pull you out of the bed. “How am I gonna find my glasses and I can’t see? Please, baby just find them for me.” You were glad Miles started it off and held your hand so you could run your hands up his arm to eventually grab his face and place a kiss of his lips.

Once the kiss was done Miles pressed his forehead against yours and whispered to you “how ‘bout you help your sweet, caring and handsome boyfriend and stop being so dramatic.” Miles laugh boomed as you pushed him away and told him “I fucking hate you!”

Miles put his hand over his heart a pouted. “You wound me, hot stuff.” Miles abruptly sat on the floor which pulled you down with him. “Help me look under the bed, mami.” Miles’s entire body was practically under the bed, and to be honest, it was a funny sight from what you could make out of your blurred vision.

Your poorly stifled laughs is what caused him to pull his body out and ask “You laughing at me?” Miles narrowed his eyes at you but you could tell his tone was playful. A full smile broke out on your face before Miles stood up and looked down at you while you were still on the ground.

“I guess you can see pretty well then, huh?” Miles dramatically stomped over you and left the room. You tried your best to follow him out but the door frame got in your way. The minute Miles heard your head hit the wall he was back on the ground with you, not because he was trying to help you back up but because he was laughing at you.

Miles had his right arm holding his stomach and his left arm trying it’s best to make it’s way to your shoulder. Everything happened so fast Miles was absolutely wheezing claiming that he “gots to see you do that dumb shit again”

Miles quickly ran out the room into the living area with you trying your best to follow after him where it was evident that his mom made breakfast for you both before she left for work by the smell. Miles made his way to the kitchen where he jumped over some water his mother must have unknowingly wasted. He had seen the water but you hadn’t. As expected you were swiftly taken to ground by the water and Miles watched you go down.

“You okay, mami?” Miles tone was clearly genuine but his laughter made you second guess. You missed his hand when he reached it out to you which made him laugh more. “Shut up.” Miles quickly shut up and helped you off the floor. “Yes, ma’am” You decided to hold on to Miles extra tight so he couldn’t run away again. (which he wasn’t exactly complaining about)

Your faces were close and your tone was soft “Can you help me find my glasses, Miles? pretty please.” Miles placed a kiss on your lips once you finished. “Yeah” You were so focused on his eyes that you failed to notice him reaching in the back pocket of his shorts and pulling out your glasses. You let out a soft gasp when he waved them in front of your face.

Miles put them on for you and leaned in for another kiss. “No. You don’t deserve it.” You pushed Miles off of you before running back to his room and closing the door behind you. Miles rattled his door handle and spoke “C’mon you gotta admit it was funny.”

“These are way to expensive for you to be playing around like that.” Though he couldn’t see you he could practically feel you rolling your eyes at him. “I didn’t realize I was dating Velma, okay.” You heard Miles laugh from before the door.

“You are so not helping your case!”

[milkzoro]

backrooms

warnings: MDNI, gore, sadism, dark content, surgery, blood, organs, fucking open wounds, non-con?

minors do not read. please look at warnings.

summary: a doctor does unnecessary surgery on you.

☆彡

“where am i.” your heart shook with each second passing by.

it’s so cold and the room smells thick, like mildew and cleaner, you were almost suffocating. endless hallways formulate as you’re running faster. was there really no end?

someone’s here though. you heard it, a voice calling out a number, “238,, 238?……… shit.” it echoed over and over again, what are these numbers?

the white walls and tiles didn’t seem bright at all, the lighting in the atmosphere was dim, lights flickering the deeper you went.

footsteps… rubber soles squeaked against the ground.

“238? now why are you out here by yourself, let’s get you back to your table.” he handled you with care, effortlessly moving you with him. you wanted to retaliate but was unable too.

the man, or… doctor?, towered over you. his presence scared you but something allowed you to make eye contact with him. his eyes glowed yellow. he was not smiling, there wasn’t any sort of emotion lingering in his face.

you felt tightness suffocating you,, moments’s like this were fabricating out of thin air. these tattered and dirty restraints, the doctor did not put these on you. buckles tucked your arms tightly behind your back, you were choking on your words, unable to speak.

why am i in restraints? what is he doing?

“a-are you my doctor?”

“no.” he continued to lead you towards ‘your room’.

you walked in front of him, feeling his presence guiding you to the correct room. his eyes were glued to you and you dared not to look back. your eyes squinted tightly as panic starts to set in.

the empty walls felt like an additional restraint weight on you, not one aspect of this place was comforting. there was a door though, it appeared after, what it seemed like, hours of aimlessly walking.

“we’re back, let’s get you on the table.” he assisted you and you settled on the cold surface, unsure of what to do next. hinges and rummaging sounds filled the room, hearing a final ‘snap’ of his gloves as he turned back to you. he briefly looked at a document before turning his attention back to you.

“hmm, y/n-ya? i have a lot planned today, there’s something i’ve been wanting. and you’re my lucky guest.”

with your arms still tied behind your back he reaches his gloved hand up to your lips.

terror consumed your face. “please! what are you gonna to do me?”

he looked so evil standing before you. his lips curled into a smirk before answering. “hmm i’m gonna cut you up, play with ya a little bit.”

you froze.

“open up, it would be beneficial if you would swallow this for me. say ahh-”

you didn’t trust this man but there was no way you could make it out of here on your own, maybe there was a light at the end of the tunnel if you just comply.

without a word, you open your mouth for the doctor.

“can i ask what that was?”

“ketamine.”

“…”

“it’s like an anesthetic, keep you calm, the pain will be pleasant okay y/n-ya, don’t worry darling. i’ll fix you up after.”

~

you laid still on the table, the effects of the drug taking over your body.

you could barely move, your finger tips traced along the edge of the table to make sure you could still move. not much but there was still a little bit of feeling there, and you noticed your restraints were off as well.

the room now had a glow to it, it felt dream-like. ahh yes this is just only a dream. a soft smile came to your lips while your mind chilled out.

“you’re being so obedient, y/n-ya, thank you. gonna get started okay.”

~

he heard soft whines from you as his blade sliced effortlessly through the first layer of your skin, seeing the scarlet liquid made his eyes sparkle. he cut two deep cuts to test the waters. one placed on top of your right thigh and one smaller on your abdomen, right below your belly button. you were hardly moving. maybe he had given you too much.

“can you speak y/n-ya?” there was a tinge of concern in his voice.

you were unresponsive.

he sighed, he wanted to hear you. but the sight before him made his cock twitch. your parted lips, red liquid pooling around your body, you looked so beautiful.

he couldn’t wait, his cuts were astonishing, like he was proud of his work. they weren’t deep enough though, he had to do some removing..

the scalpel shined under the dim light as his prepared his section. his blade making a fine line of a cut around the width of your thigh. small beads of crimson gathered before he wiped them away, he cut deeper.

it felt never ending, going through layers of skin, fat, muscle and eventually bone. he was finished, eyes filled with desire as he hurried to clean up his workspace. he properly conserved your severed limb. now for the hole.

there was a perfectly snug pocket that was already naturally within the thigh. it rested between the biceps femoris and the intermuscular septum, those were two main muscles and they connected with a soft, fatty tissue that easily broke away with light pressure.

he wiped his hands clean before removing a condom from his lab coat pocket. his hands were trembling with excitement.

the doctor was too impatient, his cock hardened with every sight of you. he took one last look at you before lining himself up with your sciatic nerve. he sighed heavily as he pushed all the way in. feeling your nerves and tendons pop against his shaft made his eyes roll back. “f-fuck.”

he began to slowly fuck himself into your thigh once he felt the tension of tissue melt away. pumping in and out as red liquid squirted onto the operating table. loud groans filled the space, he was so close, but he needed something from you.

he continued his deep thrusts as he shoved two of his fingers into another open hole in your thigh. it was another nerve, this one controlled your movements. he needed to see you writhe in pain.

his long fingers scissored and curled inside your tissues, pushing up and swirling trying to get you to move.

“c‘mon y/n-ya…” his breaths were shallow, he was near his high.

your right leg started to spasm and squirm under the doctors touch. he even stole some groans from you. the pain must be unbearable.

his head fell back as he heard those sweet whines from you. your severed thigh jolted against him causing him to fuck your hole deeper.

“fuckk just like that haah-“ his moans grew more and more sporadic as the heat in his lower abdomen grew stronger.

the blood and fluids made it so so slippery, it was hard to manage his thrusts but fuckk he was enjoying every second of it.

his eyes tightened as he felt his orgasm taking over. one last look at your emotionless face had him there, rutting recklessly into your broken down tissues. he whined and panted, one last pump sent him over the edge.

“shit! fuck. fuck—. fuuuck.” his words were drawn out as he came down from his high, lazily pulling himself out and removing his gloves and ruined condom.

only one limb down and he gets to play with you for hours. how lucky is he.

‘please just wake up soon.’ he wanted to feel your cunt while your were conscious.

[sitkowski]

drag my teeth across your chest and taste your beating heart ( ryan sitkowski x vinny mauro )

pairing: ryan sitkowski x vinny mauro cw: 18+ MDNI ⚠️ monsterfucking (ryan is a werewolf and vinny is very human!), a small dose of bestiality, dubious consent, masturbation, voyeurism, biting/marking, choking, mentions of anal fingering, anal sex, knotting, a scene involving raw meat being consumed. word count: 3.8k author's note: the third and final fic for friends in sin, and this one is probably my fave. shout out to @ladyveronikawrites for helping with some of the wolf stuff and generally being as excited about this as i am. title comes from "howl" by florence + the machine. divider by @saradika-graphics 🎃

⇉ masterpost || taglist signups

“This is stupid,” Vinny mutters under his breath as he hurries down the dimly lit path, tripping over his own sneakers and looking back over his shoulder occasionally. “This is stupid, and you’re going to fucking die.”

The lingering fog makes it harder to see, but he knows where he’s supposed to be going like the back of his hand so it doesn’t matter. More than once, he looks up, trying to see the moon through the clouds and failing. He doesn’t need to see it to know that it’s full. He can feel it. Even though he’s a full fledged human, he can feel it. 

The bag in his hand is going to start dripping soon. It’s not lost on him that he’s practically ringing a dinner bell for himself, being out in the middle of the night carrying a paper sack of raw meat. How is this his life?

He sees the house through the fog, the woods an eerie backdrop to an already eerie night. To anyone else, it might seem abandoned, but Vinny knows better. He walks faster, up to the front door. He uses his key to get in, pushing the door closed behind him.

He’s barely inside before he’s got Ryan in his space. “Took you long enough.”

“I told you it would take me a while to get here,” putting a hand on Ryan’s chest, he tries to get him to move back a step. He can feel how hot he is through the fabric of his shirt. “Give me some space, Ry, c’mon. You know how this works by now.”

Ryan steps back, putting enough room between them for Vinny to hand him the bag. He all but snatches it out of his grasp, opening it up and peering inside. He inhales deeply. Six months ago, Vinny would have been backpedaling out the door with some kind of excuse of where he had to be, but now, he just watches as Ryan reaches into the sack and pulls out one of the steaks.

There’s a tense moment where they’re just staring at each other. Ryan’s eyes have already gone that pale silver when his wolf is so close to the surface, and blood rolls down his wrist, dripping off the meat.

“You can’t be here for this,” he says, his voice distorted. “This was a mistake.”

Vinny holds out his arms at his sides. “Where am I gonna go? It’s dangerous out there, you know, you never know what’s in the dark.”

The answer is bullshit and they both know it. Ryan growls at him. It’s still a terrifying sound to Vinny, but he doesn’t move. In fact, he presses himself firmly against the door. He knows if he were to take a step towards Ryan, lover or not, he’d take it as a threat and Vinny would probably end up losing a limb. His heart is about to burst through his chest because this could go one of two ways.

“Fine.”

The sound of Ryan tearing into the steak makes Vinny’s stomach turn and sweat break out on his skin. He watches as he uses those inhumanly sharp teeth of his to devour it in minutes. But it’s the sight after; his face and hands smeared with red that makes Vinny’s breath catch in his throat. Ryan doesn't allow him to see him like this often. The only reason he even brought him the steaks was because Ryan didn’t trust himself to go that far tonight.

A cruel smirk twists on Ryan’s face, and he reaches out, grasping Vinny’s chin. Blood slicks across his skin at the touch and an involuntary moan crawls right out of Vinny’s mouth. The coppery scent invades his nose, and he doesn’t know if he wants to get sick or if he wants to admit this is making him hard. Not like he has to say anything out loud anyways, Ryan can smell it on him.

Leaning in, he presses a bloody kiss to Vinny’s mouth in thanks, before turning away to eat the second steak, slower than before. Vinny watches avidly, not making a move to wipe at his face. The blood soaked paper bag gets crumpled up and tossed in the trash, and that’s when his breathing finally seems to return to normal.

“Are you going to run now?” Ryan asks him, practically licking his chops. “You know I’m gonna chase you if you do. I don’t think we’ve reached that stage of our relationship where you’ll like what’ll happen when I catch you.”

Vinny considers it, he really does. But he shakes his head finally, moving away from the door slowly. Ryan’s eyes track him like prey, and all Vinny can do is hope that the steaks were enough to hold him over. If he asks it of him, he knows where the keys to the basement are to lock him up. But it’s never come to that before.

There’s a first time for everything though.

“I’m going to shift and run, I’ll be back later. You can stay, if you want.”

Nodding, Vinny watches him go out the front door. He even follows him out onto the porch because he loves watching this part. And Ryan let him see this before he let him see the way he eats before a turn. He only gets to shift on the night the moon is at its fullest, sometimes he’ll go out and run in the woods, sometimes he’ll prowl around the house. He’s taken Vinny’s keys before and not let him come over. Or, nights like these, he lets him bear witness to what he truly is.

Ryan leaves his clothes in a pile by the steps, walking naked out to where the moonlight has finally filtered through. It’s nothing like it is in some of the horror movies, it’s not breaking bones and painful screaming. It’s fluid, effortless and quick; one minute Vinny’s staring at Ryan’s bare back, the next there is a wolf in his place. Massive, with dark fur and those familiar silver eyes. He’s beautiful, no matter which form he’s in, but there’s something more intimate about seeing him his way.

It’s not until Ryan disappears into the woods that Vinny realizes there is still blood streaked all over his face. 

He goes back inside, making sure not to shut the front door all the way because he knows that Ryan won’t shift back for hours, and he’ll need to get back in. It’s not even his permanent residence anyway, just the place he comes when the moon is up and he doesn’t want to destroy his apartment every month. That kind of stuff isn’t covered in his security deposit. Vinny goes down the hall to the bathroom, rinses his face with tap water that smells like sulfur.

The house itself is quiet without Ryan stalking the halls, in human or wolf form. Vinny feels overheated, mostly because the place is always like a furnace despite the body heat that Ryan puts off all through the winter, he keeps it hot. Shrugging out of his hoodie and kicking out of his sneakers, Vinny goes into the living room area, which is really just a lumpy sofa, and a king sized mattress tossed in the middle of the floor. At least there’s bedding, Vinny insisted on it. 

He flings himself down on the bed. He can still feel Ryan’s fingers on him, blood against his skin beneath those too hot digits, the way his mouth felt slick against his. It should make him feel sick, but it doesn’t. Maybe it’s a side effect of dating a werewolf. Maybe it’s some crossed wires in his brain that are all his own, but he likes it, in the moment. And somehow, his brain goes from Ryan touching him with bloody hands to  Ryan touching him. Vinny rakes his hands through his hair as he thinks about it.

He thinks about running his hands through Ryan’s fur as he presses himself down on Vinny’s chest—

Blinking his eyes open, he tries to shake the image from his mind and fails. Instead he undoes his jeans and shoves them and his boxers down around his thighs. Ryan won’t be back for hours, he’s got to entertain himself somehow and this is much more entertaining that killing the battery on his phone doom scrolling on Reddit. He licks his palm once, then again, before reaching down to wrap his hand loosely around his cock. 

He strokes himself slowly, huffing out a breath and bringing his free hand up to tangle his fingers in his hair and pull. He shuts his eyes, focusing on the thought that Ryan will be smelling him on the sheets the rest of the time he's here for the moon. He thinks about him rolling around in the sheets reeking of the woods and the dirt outside, burying his face in the fabric and inhaling the smell of Vinny's sweat and come.

Bucking up into his fist, he’s so lost in it that he doesn’t realize he’s not alone anymore. Not until he feels the hot breath huff across his face. His eyes fly open and he lets out a startled yelp when he sees the wolf standing over him. Vinny starts to sit up, reaching for the waistband of his boxers, but there’s suddenly a paw in the middle of his chest, keeping him flat against the mattress.

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me, Ryan,” he mutters. 

He doesn’t try to push him away. Not only because he knows he’ll get his fingers chomped off, but because he’s still hard and leaking against his stomach. His hand hangs in the air, and he’s unsure of what to do at first. It hadn't been Ryan’s human form Vinny had been thinking about. And when the wolf snuffles by his ear and stretches himself out on the mattress beside him, silver eyes burning into the side of his face, Vinny gives in.

“If you tell anyone about this,” he gasps as he wraps his fingers back around his cock, “I’m gonna mount your head on the goddamn wall.”

Ryan’s response is to press his wet nose right against the curve of Vinny’s ear. His hips jerk and he squeezes the base of his cock, closing his eyes again. It’s one thing for Ryan to be here, like this, it’s another for Vinny to actually look at him while he’s jerking off. The body heat radiating off of the wolf is familiar, and his fur is as soft as Vinny thought it would be pressed against his bare skin. He knows by morning, Ryan will be human again, even with his wolf still so close to the surface. It’ll be like this for at least two more days; nothing on his mind but consuming as much bloody meat as he can, and fucking Vinny through the mattress. It’s a fair trade, in Vinny’s opinion. He knew what he was signing up for when Ryan told him what he was.

He comes all over his fist and his stomach, body going lax against the musty sheets. Before he gets a chance to move, Ryan’s crawling over him, his large, wet tongue dragging against his skin. Cleaning him up. Vinny lets out a surprised moan, trying feebly to push him away as his tongue laps at his softening cock. All he gets in response is a low growl and a quick nip of teeth at his side. So he gives up and lets Ryan do what he wants. He lets him drag his tongue all over Vinny’s skin until he’s nearly hard again. His heavy body is both a comforting weight and a little panic inducing, and Vinny feels stupidly turned on and scared at the same time, even now.

“We’re not fucking til morning, not this time big guy,” he mutters, petting the top of Ryan’s head.

Ryan’s wolf always leaves him feeling like shit the next morning, at least for a few hours. Like a hangover and a fever, combined with a violent need to drink his body weight in water. When he’s more alert, he realizes that he smells coffee, beneath the scent of Vinny. He also knows there’s more steaks, which means that he’s alone in the bed. Everything is always heightened after his shift; noises are louder, smells are stronger. He rolls around on the mattress, shoving his face in the sheets and inhaling deeply, wrapping himself in both the smell of his wolf and Vinny.

Eventually, he manages to drag himself up and into the kitchen area. This isn’t home and he barely keeps anything here. He sees a new case of water on the counter beside the still hot coffee pot, a pack of jerky, and a few packages of Reeces. When he opens the mini fridge in the corner he sees there are a few paper wrapped parcels in there, and a bag of grapes. Ryan doesn’t need to eat much over the three days but raw meat is the biggest part of his diet. He already knows his wolf killed something in the woods the night before, before he came back to Vinny. He can still taste it on his tongue.

He chugs three bottles of water before he hears the echoing sound of water running through the pipes. Vinny doesn’t normally like to shower there, says the water stinks like sulfur. Ryan wonders if he took it too far last night. But he figures if there was a line to be crossed, it was probably somewhere before Vinny watched him inhaling those bloody steaks the night before. He’d seen the look in Vinny’s eyes after he touched him. The way he reacted to Ryan’s wolf licking him clean after he came was probably normal compared to the first time Vinny watched him eat like that.

Ryan’s ears pick up on the sound of a bottle clattering to the shower floor, and Vinny’s muffled curse. Even from the kitchen, he can smell Vinny’s arousal building. Which tells him he’s fucking around in the shower. Probably getting himself ready for Ryan, which is an enticing thought in itself. Instead of going down the hall and dragging him out of the shower, he grabs the bag of grapes and two more bottles of water and goes back to bed. That’s where Vinny finds him when he finally stumbles down the hall and starts walking towards the kitchen. His skin is flushed pink from the heat of the shower, water droplets still dripping off the ends of his hair and rolling down his shoulders. He’s wearing a pair of shorts that Ryan recognizes as his own, and for some reason, that’s what gets him.

“Come here.”

He doesn’t make it a suggestion, and he likes the way Vinny freezes and turns towards the bed. He drops down beside Ryan, reaching over to grab a few grapes out of the bag. He smells like the cheap 3 in 1 shampoo, conditioner and body wash that Ryan keeps here, and it’s impossible for him not to lean over and shove his face into Vinny’s side, inhaling and licking away lingering water drops. Vinny laughs, putting his hand on his forehead and trying to push him away.

“Hey come on, you gotta check in with me first before you start trying to fuck me.”

Ryan gives him an unimpressed look. “How many fingers did you give yourself in there before you decided it was enough?”

Vinny throws a grape at him, rolling away to try to get one of the water bottles. But Ryan is faster, and he grabs onto his hips and tosses him over on his stomach, pinning him down to the mattress. Vinny flails and tries to at least attempt to get away, but Ryan sits on his ass and holds him down by his upper arms, putting his chin on his shoulder and waiting him out. It’s times like these he likes being reminded that he’s so much stronger than Vinny is, how easy it is to just hold him down however he wants. He lets him tire himself out, until he’s panting for air and squirming against the sheets. As a human, Vinny’s also very predictable.

“You gonna answer my question?” Ryan asks as he drags his face along Vinny’s shoulder. His wolf hates that he doesn’t smell like himself, doesn’t smell like he’s Ryan’s. “C’mon Vin, tell me how many? How many do you think would have been enough for you to take my knot this time?”

Vinny doesn’t say anything, he just whines and shakes his head. Ryan nips him and ruts against his ass, knowing that it won’t take long for him to cave at all. He reaches down and starts to shove at Vinny’s—his—shorts until they’re twisted around his thighs.

“Answer me,” he demands, biting him a little harder. Vinny tries to reach behind him and get his hand on Ryan’s cock, but Ryan grabs his wrist and pins it to his lower back. “I’m waiting. I can drag this out for hours. I don’t think you can, sweetheart.”

“Four!” Vinny bursts out impatiently, and Ryan laughs at him. He pets his hair back from his face, sees the way his eyes are glistening with needy tears. It turns him on more than it should. “Okay, I told you what you wanted to know, now give it to me.”

“Give you what?”

“Oh my god,” Vinny moans and struggles again, only succeeding in grinding back against Ryan, who clamps his free hand down on the back of his neck in amusement. He can feel how slick Vinny is. If he were an omega wolf, it would probably feel just like this. “Give me your knot, Ryan, please!”

And who is he to deny him. Shuffling up on his knees, he yanks Vinny’s shorts off the rest of the way, shoving his legs apart and hauling him up until he’s face down with his ass up in the air. Ryan lets go of his wrist but keeps his hand on his neck to keep him down, instead using his free hand to guide his cock into him. He’s still tight around him, despite whatever prep he did in the shower, and Ryan has to fight every urge he has to just shove in without giving him any time to adjust. His wolf is howling in his head for him to claim him in every way. Even though he’s human and the claiming bite won’t work on him.

Vinny lets out a choked off sob as Ryan bottoms out, and he grabs onto the edge of the mattress. There’s a moment where he tries to pull himself away, and then he just goes lax beneath him. Ryan curls himself over him to nudge his nose against Vinny’s cheek, kisses him softly. Almost like he’s apologizing for what he’s about to do. But if he wanted Ryan to stop, he knew how to do it. His eyes spot the glint of the knife that lay on the floor at the head of the bed. If Vinny needed to use it, he would. Ryan would heal, but he’d also stop.

“Okay,” Vinny gasps and nods rapidly, and he rocks back into Ryan’s next thrust the best he can. “Ry, c’mon, it’s okay—”

Ryan takes him at his word, fucking him harder. His thrusts are sharp and deep and he lets go of Vinny's wrist to grab onto his shoulder, pulling him back into each roll of his hips. He's going to be covered in bruises by the time he leaves. Vinny manages to get both of his hands beneath him, trying to give himself some leverage. He also can't stop talking; he's pleading with Ryan to keep fucking him, to give him his knot, to bite him.

Fisting a hand in Vinny’s hair, Ryan pushes his head down to the mattress, hoping to get him to shut up, if only for the sake of his own sanity. “It’s not gonna take Vin, I can’t—”

“I don’t care!” he wails, and the sheet comes off the edge of the mattress in his grip. “Just fucking bite me, it won’t do anything but hurt, come on, please Ryan!”

His wolf is already on board with the idea, and he can feel his mouth watering even as his knot swells. He’s got to get it inside of Vinny before he’ll even think of biting him. The growl that crawls out of his throat isn’t human, and he shoves forward in one quick motion, enraptured with watching as he sinks into Vinny all the way. Beneath him, Vinny has gone pliant, harsh panting sounds escaping him as Ryan waits him out.

It’s too late for Vinny to change his mind or want out, and he’s obviously resigned himself to this fact as he gives in and starts fucking himself back on Ryan’s knot, trying to get him to move again. He's still begging him to quit being a pussy and bite him already, and Ryan grabs him by his throat and covers him completely as he mouths at his shoulder. Vinny's finally shut up at least with words, but only because Ryan's got him by his neck and all he can do is wheeze and nod his head as if he still needs him to know it's okay.

His teeth are sharper than normal when he sinks them into Vinny’s shoulder, and all he tastes is blood and meat and him. He breaks the skin, and if Vinny were another wolf, this would mean a whole lot more than it does right now, and it means a whole lot to him. As it is, Ryan can hear him trying to say something, and he’s crying and laughing a little. It’s probably just the adrenaline. He loosens his grip on him, removes his teeth and licks at the wound, trying to stop the blood.

“You came,” Vinny mutters.

Ryan blinks. “What?”

“You bit me, and you came? You don’t remember?”

Ryan knows they’re going to be attached for a while, so it doesn’t really matter if he remembers or not. He noses at Vinny’s cheek, licks the salt away there and pulls them over onto their sides. He starts to reach down to finish him off, only to find out he wasn’t the only one who came. Vinny squirms around, trying to get them out of the wet spot, but it’s pretty big.

“These sheets are trashed, Ry.” he says giddily. “Why didn’t you bring more food in here if we’re gonna be like this?”

Tugging on his hair, Ryan kisses him to shut him up. He knows that Vinny can taste his own blood in his mouth, but he doesn’t pull away. He’s never been scared of Ryan, not really.

“You’re gonna do that to me again tomorrow.” Vinny mutters into the kiss.

Ryan doesn’t argue.

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[turcott3]

worst behavior

cole sillinger x fem! reader

warnings?: cursing, arguing, smut: oral fem receiving, unprotected sex, hair pulling, overstimulation, slightest tiniest bit of fluff

positions fics masterlist

~this ain’t no game, won’t play with you. this time i know ill stay with you~

-

your eyes fluttered open to a room filled with sunlight. you stretched out and rolled over, running into something. you finally process what’s going on and look around the room, not recognizing a single piece of it.

“where am i?” you whisper, looking at the body next to you. an ohio state hockey player who’s name you vaguely recalled, but that didn’t matter because someone definitely saw you leave with him.

fuck.

“hmm.” you hear the boy groan next to you.

“good morning.” you say scooting away from him.

“morning beautiful.” he says opening his eyes and smiling at you, your heart almost fluttering at those words. cole never uttered them to you.

“sleep good?” you ask as he leans up on his elbow.

“i did, last night was incredible.” he says kissing you on the cheek. that’s when it all came flooding back. his gentlemanly gestures roped you in. he opened the car door for you, he was sweet, overall seemed like someone you’d actually want to be with. until you remembered that you had never betrayed your….. whatever it was, to cole.

“i’m gonna get a shower, you can stay here or raid the kitchen. my home is yours.” he says smiling at you.once the bathroom door shuts, you scramble to collect your clothes, putting them on, grabbing your phone, and sneaking out the door as quickly as possible. you had been fucking cole for a few months now and would never dare to betray your loyalty to him. he was like a drug to you, and you were addicted. not that he could say the same for you as much as you wished he would. you had no car and didn’t know where you were, but you couldn’t call cole, so you chose the next best option. adam.

“hello?”

“yes hey adam, so it’s a long story but can i send you my location? i don’t know where i am and i have no transportation.”

“yeah of course i can. are you okay?”

“yeah i just have a bad feeling that someone is gonna know about what happened and i really wanna just pretend it never happened. i’ll tell you in the car.”

“y/n it’s gonna be fine, don’t worry. send me your location and i’ll be there.”

“sent. thank you so much adam, seriously.”

“no problem, i don’t want you to get kidnapped or anything.” he laughs.

“thank you, bye adam.”

“bye.” he says and you hang up. what were you going to tell cole? you check and see only one missed call and two texts from him. everyday you hoped he would grow more desperate for your attention, but the day still never came. once adam arrived at your location, you get into his car and buckle without a word.

“so what happened?” he says putting the car back into drive and pulling off.

“i went to a party last night,”

“like the one some of the guys and i went to?”

“yes that one, and i guess i got drunk and came back with a fucking ohio state hockey player, but he was so sweet and nice and gentlemanly.”

“ohio state really?” adam asks.

“adam, that’s what you’re concerned about?” you say smacking him on the arm.

“hey that’s serious dude,”

“that is the least of my worries right now. what if cole finds out? someone had to have seen me leave with him.”

“has he called you?”

“yeah.”

“when?”

“like 2 hours ago.”

“he knows.” he simply states.

“i mean maybe he doesn’t.”

“check your voicemail.” he says going silent, you listened in and he didn’t go into specifics but he seemed angry.

“well shit, i’ll go see him tomorrow,” you say

“probably a good idea.” he replies, the rest of the drive was mostly silent. how were you supposed to make an excuse for this?

-

the next day came and you were terrified. once you arrive at his house, you step up to the door but before your knuckles could hit the wooden surface, it opens.

“look who finally decided to show up.” he says stepping out of the way so you could walk inside.

“look cole i-“

“i don’t wanna hear it.”

“what do you mean?”

“an excuse, so you’re gonna tell me what the fuck happened the other night.”

“well i-“

“spit it out.” he says stepping closer.

“why do you care so much?” you ask.

“just answer the fucking question.”

“fine. that night, i got drunk at the party, you would know bc you were there. you had girls surrounding you, this lovely guy came up to me. he was super sweet and respectful so i went home with him.”

“oh so you’re fucking him now too?”

“well i obviously haven’t gone back to him, nor do i have his number. is that what you want to hear?”

“no.”

“take me on a date, just once, and i’ll forget i even looked in his direction.” you begged. you didn’t want your time with cole to end. you never wanted it to if you could help it.

“i want you forget he ever even fucking existed y/n.”

“just take me out one time cole.” you beg, and his stance doesn’t change.

“did he fuck you good?” he says smirking, changing the topic.

“well it was okay, he was very sweet though. i love that in a guy, just pure sweetness.”

“so he didn’t fuck you like i do?”

“maybe he did.” you shrug, knowing it was a flat out lie.

“oh really?” he scoffs, grazing his hands around your waist, facing inching closer to yours.

“he could never come close to what i give you.” he says lowly, connecting your lips. instantly, you cave at his touch. your arms wrapping around the back of his neck. he bites your lip as he pulls away looking into your eyes. he picks you up, wrapping your legs around his waist and carries you to his room, shutting the door and locking it behind him. he tosses you on the bed, immediately pulling your shirt off over your head and throwing it as he does the same.

“i just really like when a guy is sweet, you don’t understand that?” you say interrupting the tangible silence in the room.

“no i do.”

“sure doesn’t seem like it.”

“well maybe i can be sweet.” he retorts.

“ha sure you can.” you scoff as he walks over to the bad, towering over you.

“you just don’t get to find out right now.” he smirks, crawling onto the bed and attaching his lips to your neck, nipping and sucking at the skin. your hands find their way into his hair, tugging on hit lightly as you grew more and more anxious for him to get the ball rolling. he unclasped your bra with one hand and helps you out of it, tossing it across the room. he hooks his fingers under the bands of your underwear and he slides them down you legs quickly before removing his own underwear.

“you want me to fuck you baby?”

“yes, please cole.” you say practically in a whisper as he bends down, his tongue making contact with your dripping core. his tongue working in circles on your clit, his sheets now clenched in your fists. suddenly sliding two fingers into you, curling them causing your back to arch, a loud moan ripping from your throat, already edging a climax. out of nowhere, he pulls his fingers out backing away from you, sucking your juices off his fingers before crawling over you and kissing you sloppily.

“no please why’d you stop?” you whine.

“just had to get you ready.” he smirks pulling away, running his leaking tip through your soaked folds.

“you gonna be good for me pretty girl?” he asks.

“i am.” you say quietly.

“good.” he smirks before pushing into you without warning, a galaxy forming behind your eyelids, your legs hooking around his hip.

“fuck.” you say gripping onto his arms. his thrusts were deep and hard.

“so good just for me.” he grunts out in broken up speech. you open your eyes and lock contact with his, moaning uncontrollably as he hit the sensitive spongey spot deep inside you with each thrust.

“fuck cole oh my god.” you say, the only words you could possibly muster up. you were overstimulated in the best way, sex with cole was always amazing but he was really outdoing himself this time. he leans down, attaching your lips to his to silence your moans as your climax creeped closer and closer.

“god you’re so fucking hot.” he says locking eyes with you again, before you roll your eyes into the back of your head trying to hold off the orgasm that threatened to rip through your body.

“cole i-“

“do it. come for me.” he says and on queue you see stars, your body relaxing all the tightness it previously felt. he fucked you all the way through your high, thinking that was the end.

“you think we’re done here? i’m not done with you.” he says slowing down and pulling out of you, picking you up and tossing you onto your stomach. you raise yourself up in your hands and knees weakly, knowing exactly what he wanted. he places his calloused hand on your ass, using the other to help push himself into you swollen core.

“fuck.” you scream as his hips slam into you quickly.

“yeah you like that?”

“fuck yes i do.” you say, kicking back into high gear, his hips slamming into your ass, his thick cock somehow hitting deeper than before, stretching you out with each thrust. your arms give out and your chest hits the bed, arching your back to keep your position for him.

“god damn look at you.” he says, the smirk lining his voice. his hand reaches into your hair, gathering it around his hand as he pulls you back up, you arms barely holding your weight as he pulls your back closer to his chest until you’re flush against his front side, his other hand holding you up while his fingers found their way to your clit. you couldn’t conjure any words, your hand found the back of his neck as he grunts sweet nothings into your ear, feeling your orgasm approach once again.

“fuck cole i’m gonna come.” you force out. he lets go of your hair and you fall back onto your arms, your walls clenching around him.

“come for me, come baby.” he says and you do as you’re told once again, your arms shaking as he spills his seed deep into your cervix.

“oh my god.” you say as he pulls out of your overly stimulated core rolling you over, your legs shaking frantically. you’d never been fucked that good a day in your life and you were wishing you could feel it again already.

“so, does he fuck you like i can?” he asks again breathlessly and you shake your head quickly, not being able to speak up.

“use your words baby.” he smirks, climbing over you, his face a mere 4 inches from yours, his hair grazing your forehead lightly.

“he could never.” you say pulling his chain bringing him in for another kiss.

“let’s get you cleaned up.” he says smiling as you pull apart. typically, he says this and wipes you clean with a rag, sending you on your way so you didn’t expect much. he puts his boxers on and walks into the bathroom, soaking a rag with warm water before returning, wiping you clean gently. he tosses the rag into his hamper and hands you your lace thing off the floor and a blue jackets tshirt.

“cole wha-“

“no no, take it seriously.” he says and you take it from him hesitantly, pulling it over your head. careful, he removes your hair from the neck, and brushes it behind your shoulders.

“what’s all this?” you say, shocked that you were even still at his house.

“showing you that i can be sweet.” he smirks, pulling you by the shirt into a sweet kiss.

“i’m usually gone by now.”

“well maybe this time you should stay.”

“are you sure?”

“yeah why not.” he says leaning back on his head board, opening his arms for you to join him. you lay your head on his chest as your arm drapes over his body, his hand gently rubbing up and down your back.

“why have you never let me stay before?” you say looking up at him, breaking the silence.

“i didn’t know what you wanted from me, until today.”

“what do you mean?”

“i thought you just wanted to be around me for sex.” he shrugs, looking down at you.

“well maybe at first but it grew to much more than that. i don’t think i’ve ever regretted anything more than fucking that dude the other night but i mean to be fair i thought all you wanted from me was sex too.”

“it was for a while but feelings change you know.” he laughs slightly.

“so?”

“so what?” he asks obliviously.

“are you gonna take me out?” you say giving the man puppy dog eyes. he rolls his eyes laughing lightly.

“yes y/n, ill take you out.” he giggles, kissing you on the head. it brought you peace knowing that he had feelings for you too, but maybe you should be on your worst behavior more often…..

[frootloopscos]

1) Where in Arceus’ Name Am I?

Sorry ya'll, I play on the English server so if there's any inconsistencies that's probably why 😅

Chapter 1) Welcome to Twisted Wonderland

Yuu hummed to themself as they walked through the Wild Area with Agent at their side. "It's getting late bud, should we set up camp?" They asked their partner, "Teleon." He responded with a nod, they smile and look around to find a good camping spot. Finding a nice flat, grassy spot they take off their backpack and begin to set up their camp for the night. "Right, I'll text Bede that we're gonna stay here for the night and then we can have curry!" They said with a smile before whipping out their phone and texting their brother.

Yuu: Heyyyyyyyyyy 😋 Agent and I are gonna camp in the Wild Area 2night! We'll be back at the gym sometime tomorrow afternoon!

Teen Angst: Okay, I'll let Grandma know. Stay safe.

Yuu: B, I'm the champion, there's like no way I won't be safe. See you tomorrowww!

Yuu put their phone into their pocket with a smile, "Agent you got the pot out for Curry right?" They asked their partner as they finished setting up the inside of their tent. "Intel," he replied in confirmation. "Great!" They said with a smile and exited the text, "sorry that we can't let Cinder and the others out tonight." They said patting his arm. Agent just shook his head and set a hand on his trainer's own head before ruffling their hair making them laugh.

.

.

.

.

It wasn't long after the two had their curry that they decided to call it a night and entered the tent. "Goodnight Agent," Yuu said to the water type with a sleepy smile. They slowly closed their eyes and fell into a deep slumber.

Opening their eyes they looked around in confusion, it was still dark out, but Yuu could tell they weren't in their tent anymore. "What the?" They mumbled reaching their hands out in front of them to meet with a hard surface, their brows furrowed and they felt around themself more. They were in some sort of box, and were not in their pajamas anymore, "did someone change my clothes?" They asked themself before quieting as they heard shuffling from outside the box, then a voice.

"I better hurry up and find that uniform before someone spots me...urggg this kid weighs a ton!" The mysterious voice spoke, Yuu's eyes widened as they felt something beginning to tug at the box they were inside of. "Try this on for size! Mya-ha!" And suddenly there were blue flames at their feet. "Fire!" They yelled quickly trying to step out of the way of the burning flames but having nowhere to move. The door to the box fell off and Yuu quickly jumped from inside and looked around panicked. "Arcus, where am I?" They asked aloud as they spotted several coffins floating around the room with a mirror in the center. "Coffins? Is that what I was inside of?"

"Mya-haha! Now to grab the goods! Wha?! You ain't supposed to be awake!" The voice yelled and Yuu looked down their eyes widening in shock, "a talking Meowth? With fire? Am I in a new region?" They asked, "how..how DARE YOU! I am no "Meowth"! I'm Grim, sorcerer extraordinaire! Tch. Whatever...you, human! Give me your uniform, and be quick about it! Cause if you don't....you're gonna regret it!" The grey Meowth yelled at them, Yuu reached for Agent's pokeball and their eyes widened they had more than Agent's on their belt. "How?" They mumbled before deciding that it wasn't worth it and quickly ran away from the Fire-Type Meowth.

Yuu ran through the building they were in, down a hallway, out the door into an outdoor area, and into a magical looking library. They quickly looked around "where am I?" They asked again, "if this is a dream, I'd really like to fucking wake up." They were interrupted by the Meowth somehow catching up, "foolish human! Did you really think you could slip away from ME?" It yelled at them, "now, unless you wanna get burned to a crisp, take off that-" before Yuu could  even grab Agent's pokeball the cat yelped as it was whipped and wrapped up in bindings. "Consider it tough love." A new voice said as Yuu saw a tall man sporting a Corvinight-esque mask.

"Ah, I've found you at last." The male said with a frown, "splendid, I trust you're one of this year's new students? My, were you ever eager to make your debut. And bringing a poorly trained familiar with you? That is a clear violation of the school's rules." He stated crossing his arms much to Yuu's confusion. "Student? Familiar? That's not one of my Pokémon." They tried to explain before the Meowth spoke up, "as if I'd serve some lowly human! Now lemme go!" The Corvinight male simply nodded as if he was playing along, "yes, yes. Rebellious familiars always say that. Do be quiet for a bit, won't you?" He asked as his whip(?) tightened around the feline causing it to struggle and writhe in pain.

Before Yuu could ask the male to let the Meowth go he spoke again, "dear me. Of all the students I've dealt with, you're the first with temerity enough to open their own gate and step out of it. Does the very notion of patience elude you?" He wouldn't let Yuu speak as he continued, "no matter. Your orientation had already begun. Let us return to the Mirror Chamber." He said with a smile, with Yuu finally being able to speak they had about a million questions but left it to only two, "student? Gate? Sir, what are you talking about?" They asked, well, three questions. The male paused looking at them, "you awakened in a room full of gates, did you not? All of the students here at the campus arrived by passing through such gates. Although typically the students have restraint enough to wait until I open them before waking up."

"The coffins all around that room? Well, you can blame the Meowth for me being awake." Yuu said crossing their arms with a small glare sent at the feline. The Corvinight male frowned, "so the culprit is this familiar of yours. You're the one who insisted on bringing it, so curtailing its behavior is your responsibility!" "It's not mi-" he again interrupted them, "but now is not the time for such prattle. You've a student orientation to attend! Go on, now. Make haste." He ushered them forward, pushing on their back to try getting them to move.

Yuu refused to budge and looked him dead in the eyes, "no! First you have to tell me where I am and who you are!" They said putting their foot down on this. The male seemed concerned, "have you not fully regained consciousness?" He asked, Yuu felt their eye twitch in anger "you think I'm not after this Meowth tried to scorch me?!" The male ignored them as he continued to speak to himself, "the time space teleportation must have addled your memories... Well, these things happen, I suppose. I shall explain it all to you while we walk. Truly, my magnanimity is boundless." He said with a smug smile.

The male, now known to Yuu as Dire Crowley, explained to them that they are the headmage of the school that they are apparently at now. Yuu had to calm themself and real themself in. 'I'm not in Galar anymore, and not in any other region that I know of. This, this is another world.' They took a deep breath after coming to this realization, it was rare in Galar, but they must have fallen though an Ultra Wormhole and ended up here. Yuu ended up tuning out Crowley until they realized that the two of them were now back in the room with coffins....

TO BE CONTINUED

——————

Welcome to my new story! As said in the description this book is inspired by "From Trainer to Beast Tamer!" By SnowflakeDragon18 on Wattpad PLEASE MAKE SURE TO GO READ THEIR STORY (they have the audio feature and I love to have it play in the background while doing school work and other things! I've relistened to it at least three times lol!)

Word count: 1331

Published to Wattpad: April 24th, 2024

Published to Tumblr: April 24th, 2024

Edited: n/a

[lovelykil]

「 VAMP 」

kyle x reader older ver.

cw; none

note; playboi carti reference

[requested]

the need for blood overdrives his system

he can't help but feel the urge to roam the streets for a victim to sink his sharp fangs in.

The mere thought of finding a nice, healthy, and helpless human makes his stomach twists with hunger and impatience.

He licks his lips and bites down as he steps outside his mysterious home. His red, blood thirsty, hungry eyes peer down on the town of South Park. Scanning for his prey.

The darkness falls all around him during the night as he watches, carefully. The moon shone brightly for the roaming people in their costumes. Some witches, some zombies, some even absurd characters such as vampires as himself.

Kyle rolled his eyes to the site, frowning.

"The nerve.." the boy breathed with annoyance. His eyes scattered some more till his ruby gems landed on one specific person.

A girl looking into the dark night, appearing as lonesome as one teen girl could be. His brows rose with suspension then thought for a moment.

His stomach rumbled with each given second, making him wince and make a final decision.

With no hesitation the teen fixed his red locs before jumping off the balcony of his estate and turning into a small black creature, flying into the night to catch his dinner.

...

"Wow, that sounds so fun Wendy I'm–"

"Yeah!! Everyone showed up, well except for Heidi I'm not sure where she's at.."

"Oh Heidi? That's a relief I thought I was gonna be the only on-"

"Oh, never mind she just came through the door. And.. oh no, with Eric? Oh god." Wendy's voice fell through the phone as I held it to my ear. I sighed with an eye roll.

"So everyone is there?" I asked, coming off a little irritated.

"Yeah, well except for you Y/n." She answered, being brought back in the conversation. I rubbed my face and shook my head.

"Damn it."

"I'm sorry you couldn't come, I'm sure you would've looked so good in your costumes at the party."

"Mmmh, yeah." I turned my head to look at my bed with the lying costume I was supposed to wear, feeling a frown tug on my face. I looked back at the window and put my hand up to it.

"My stupid parents." My hands formed a fist as I hit the window with slight force.

"Maybe next time?" Wendy spoke, trying to cheer me up. Key word trying.

My hand slid against the cold surface, I watched kids walk around having fun, making sweet memories with each other while I was here in my room like a fucking loser.

Their little baskets full of candy swung to the sides of them as their parent walked them along the sidewalks.

"Yeah okay Wendy, bye."

"Wait are you ma-"

beep.

I threw my phone over to my bed, groaned, and leaned my head onto the window before pulling away shaking my head.

"This is so lame," I whispered to myself. I remained staring at the people dressed up in their costumes, rating them out of boredom.

Maybe this would help.

"Clowns? Solid 7 maybe a 6."

My eyes scattered.

"Batman? Ten for sure." I laughed to myself.

"ohh, is that a couple? Sally and Jack?" My eyes sparkled with a smile, clasping my hands together.

"A fucking zero," My smile fell, feeling the jealousy flow throughout my body. I rolled my eyes, lifted my window and stuck outside of it to shout.

"HEY YOU TWO!" I yelled down. The pair stopped in their tracks from the sudden yell to look around them, puzzled.

"YEAH YOU TWO UP HERE" they both looked up, still confused as ever.

I put my hand down and smiled.

"I saw your boyfriend chat it up with Emily over there." I pointed over to another girl behind them just a few meters from them. The girl looked over at her boyfriend demanding an explanation.

"You were talking to THAT dead girl?" She fussed, to which the guy took offense to.

"But you're dead too."

"YEAH WELL, I'M YOUR DEAD GIRL. I AM NOT THE OTHER DEAD WOMAN!" She screamed, pushing him away to run off. He reached out for her in shock.

"Wait Vanessa!"

"Fuck you Josh!"

I watched as the two ran after each other feeling a sinister smile grow on my face. I sighed in content, leaning away from my window to get up and stretch.

"God I hate couples." I snickered, tugging on my shirt. The only reason why I despise them was because I couldn't get into a relationship myself.

It wasn't fair how everyone had their special someone yet my special someone was chocolate and my bed.

Chocolate and MY BED.

ugh.

I pulled the fabric over my head and onto the ground with the other piles of clothes I had lying around my floor, my fingers ran across my hanging shirts to try to find the right one.

I usually wear a specific shirt for bed but it wasn't in my closet from the looks of it.

"shit.." I cursed, bending down to look at the ground in just my bra and pajama pants. I groaned reaching for shirts to only grab the wrong one and throw it else where.

"Holy shit where are you??" My brows furrowed, attempting to find my shirt. After a couple of wrong shirts I finally found the right one and stood back up with a smile.

I turned around to walk to my bed.

"omg I thought I lost-" Just inches away from me stood a tall figure in black in front of me, all I could see were dark red ruby eyes that stared right into my soul.

My skin ran cold, eyes grew wide and my heart..

dropped.

"You.." I finished. Swallowing down on the last of my saliva that made my mouth moist.

I stared up at the red eyes and blinked, I dropped my shirt, stunned.

"Holy shit."

The figure stopped closer to me to reveal itself, soon I could make out.. almost like human features.

The first thing I noticed was red curly hair dangled infront of this.. guys face.

Skin pale white as snow when you looked at him. His eyes had a red creepy glow to it as he looked down at me from his height, making me feel so small.

Freckles peppered along his face and fangs?

very.. sharp ones.

Also a red emulate necklace?

wait wait I think we're missing the real big thing here.

This thing is a GUY.

He is a GUY

A really.. cute one.

...I have no shirt on.

aannd that's when I finally screamed.

"Who the HELL ARE YOU-?!" I shouted, moving past him to run over to my bed and grab my phone.

My initial reaction was to first grab my SHIRT, but I guess my brain didn't want to work with my body.

I stumbled trying to reach for my phone while keeping my eyes on him, hoping he wouldn't do anything stupid.

He didn't say anything but stood there, looking at me. Once I finally grabbed my phone I smiled gratefully as I went to dial the police.

"Okay man fuck you you're going to.. wait how'd the fuck did you even.." I set my phone down realizing my window was nowhere near the ground but in fact very high with no trees around and surely no human being would be able to even climb inside.

My head left the window to look back at where the guy stood but to my surprise he wasn't there anymore.

"Oh fuck." Just before I could react I was pushed back into my pillows, my wrists nailed to the sides of me, and a hovering person ontop of me.

I squirmed around trying to break loose of his grip but god was he strong.

My eyes closed shut as I attempted some more to wiggle my way out but the more I struggled the tighter he held my wrist just causing me to wince in pain.

"Please.. don't struggle anymore, it will be quick I promise.." A soft voice spoke, he sounded weak.. struggling himself almost.

My eyes opened in shock by his voice, he was on top of me, battling me but I could tell he was going to maybe faint soon. His scary red-looking eyes had a soft look to them now as he trembled, I could see those fangs again they grew in length almost longer than before.

The window.. his eyes.. teeth, even skin.

oh my god was this asshole a vampire?

Yeah okay.. vampires? Please.

"Dude get off of me!" I gritted my teeth and used most of my energy to finally push him off me, he was growing weak already so it was easy for him to get up and away from me.

I crawled away more into my pillows like a scared kid, my chest rose and fell fast trying to catch my breath and this whole situation.

He stared at me as I stared back at him, he grew weak by the second just looking at him.. I saw his hand cover his stomach in pain as he groaned.

I caught my breath just moments later watching this guy in pain, for a second after I caught my breath and stopped my thoughts I felt.. bad.

"What.. what are you?" I blurted out, looking over at him.

He whimpered quietly, with his hand still on his stomach. I felt my stomach twist.

"What.. does it look like?" He answered, trying to stand up still but falling ultimately from his weak state.

My eyes traveled around then back at him.

"A rapist." In a sarcastic tone I stated. I folded my arms.

He looked at me to shake his head, "What? No. I just want your blood, I'm a vampire."

"A vampire?" I rose my brow.

He nodded though closed his eyes in pain. I noticed that weird necklace was losing its color all of a sudden.

I looked at him then down at my hands, trying to figure out what the hell was happening.

Vampires?? Are you serious? Does he think I'm gullible or something? Then again it would explain those red eyes and how he got way up here from my window..

What am I even saying? This insane. Vampires aren't real.

Or maybe they are? Whys he in so much pain? Does he really just need blood??

Oh god

I rubbed my eyes, feeling myself about to go insane. I let my eyes rest after a few seconds and sighed.

This is south park I mean this isn't the first crazy thing to happen here or see.

"Alright man just.. I don't know do what you need." I crawled my way back to him and sat on my bed. I looked down about to take off my shirt but I realized I had nothing on to begin with.

My face flushed in embarrassment, I just looked away.

I could hear him groan once more but stop, he stepped forward and put his hands on my shoulders.

Man those hands were dead fucking cold. I jumped.

"God your hands!" I pulled away in shock. He panicked, pulling his hand away.

"Sorry I'm.. really hungry." The vampire muttered, staring at my neck like a prize. I rolled my eyes but tilted my head nonetheless.

"Just do it already.." I pointed to my neck, looking away. I set my hand down on my bed, waiting for him.

I have no idea why or what the hell I was doing but this was kinda exciting than just watching people walk around the neighborhood.

"Oh god you are an angel." His hungry, trembling voice sent a shiver down my spine, I gulped and shifted in my spot.

He set his hands on me once again, I cringed slightly but let him do so. He laid me down on my bed, climbing over me.

My eyes grew wide again, I covered my neck in confusion.

"Why'd you lay me down? Making it sexual or something?" I laughed with sarcasm, but a little on edge at the same time.

His cold fingers made contact with my face as he chuckled softly.

"Oh sweetheart, I would never have sex with you. With a human? I'm not crazy." His smile along with his gentle caress on my cheek left me distraught by his response. I swatted his hand away from my face.

"Yeah well, I would never have sex with you either, vamp." I looked back away, pouting slightly.

I was a little offended but I was not going to show it.

I mean who wants to bone a vampire?

I looked back at him, his soft eager eyes met mine as he looked down at me with such a pleased expression. I turned my head back feeling my cheeks flush.

okay maybe I would.

"You have such magnificent veins.."

"just bite me already dude." I rolled my eyes. He nodded, coming closer toward my neck. I felt my nerves start to act up I wanted to squirm, run away, hide but..

"try to be still." His hand rubbed my sides as he whispered calmly into my ear. My breath hitched from the cold sensation causing me to whimper quietly.

"okay.."

He inched towards my neck and soon bit down into my flesh, my eyes shut on their own as I bit down on my lip from the pain. I mumbled incoherent words under my breath from the feeling. As I muttered in pain I felt his arm move across mine and his hand come in contact with mine.

He held my hand down softly into the pillow with care, I felt myself starting to feel less of the pain and become calm. A smile crept on my weak face as my fingers closed to hold his lightly as he drained the blood out of me.

[euijoosorangeslice]

I definitely wanna hear your thoughts! I love hearing about peoples' kinks since I'm pretty kinky myself, or at least I think I am lol

i need to go down the list of people ive been nonstop thinking of for the past week...

so first kei, i always thought hed be into one of those type of things like hunting your prey/hide and seek energy. hes just so masculine i get those type of vibes where he's gonna count down and if he finds you...welll hes gonna fuck you right where he finds you.

i always say no when people ask if i have like a mommy/daddy kink but istg it's only for euijoo or fuma. like im a little too into it when i think of how much i would love to call fuma daddy. (let me just say my favorite pet name is angel. off the bat, someone calls me that? oh i'm already standing booty butt naked in the middle of their bedroom.) and liike i already know euijoo likes to be praised but i just wanna lift up his shirt and bite on his nipples while calling him a good boy or telling him hes doing a good job just so i can feel him poking into me.

thers no way nicholas doesn't like spanking his s/o's. its just knowing that your freaking out over him makes him so proud he does anything to gauge a reaction. thats why i think he likes heavy impact play, maybe even knife play?

for jo, i get really strong cockwarming vibes from him. like i would sit on his lap while he draws or plays games on his nintendo. doesnt always have to be sexual but 8/10 times itll turn into sex.

yuma i just really get big brat tamer vibes from him. like everyone always says he's the one teaching you a lesson but no, youre teaching him a lesson. whether thats tying him up and stripping in front of him and not letting him touch, or directly edging him, maybe put a blindfold on him/gagging him and use a vibrator or a cocksleeve and just see how long it takes him to lose his mind. i feel like he wouldn't really mind taking whatever you take. like it's a mutual relationship, if hes gonna shove all these toys inside of you he expects you to do the same for him.

harua is a little rough to tell becuase hes a 50/50 case. its either hard dom or needy sub. theres no inbetween with him, and i think his favorite part of sex in foreplay. sometimes, he doesn't even need the penetration and you two can just play with eachother until youre satisfied.

lastly, taki is definetly a hard dom. but i feel he can be soft at times. like sex isnt always just fast paced bending you over every surface in his dorm (even when the members are home, just hope they stay in their rooms), sometimes its that he misses you and he takes you to somewhere romantic before for a date and then when you two get home, you have really lovey dovey sex.

(ignore the spelling mistakes, my head has been twirling with this shit for like a whole week now.)

[adrienneleclerc]

Paddington Bear

Paring: Xavier Thorpe x Hispanic!Reader

Summary: When Xavier accidentally breaks Y/N childhood teddy bear

Warning: spelling errors, hidden Disney references

A/N: a few weeks back, there were a lot of requests to different Xavier writings to sorts a fanfic where Xavier breaks Y/N’s teddy bear but then gives her a new teddy bear that smells like Xavier so I decided to do my own version of it, requests are OPEN

Y/N was getting ready for her date with Xavier when she heard a knock on the door. Y/N opened the door and saw Xavier looking all nice.

“You ready for our date?” Xavier asked

“Yeah, just let me get my jacket, you can wait inside, Yoko is out with Divina.” Y/N said as she went to get a jacket from her closet. Xavier sat on Y/N’s bed and noticed a cute teddy bear wearing a blue coat. Xavier decided to carry the bear.

“Who’s this little guy?” Xavier asked, playing with the bear.

“His name is Paddington.” Y/N said, taking the bear from his hands and putting him back on his spot on the bed.

“You named the bear Paddington?” Xavier asked.

“First of all, I’m hurt. Second, you have never read the Paddington bear books when you were younger? You have never seen the Paddington movies that came out years ago?” Y/N asked.

“I feel like I should say yes…but I haven’t.” Xavier said hesitantly.

“We are so watching those movies next weekend. Come on, let’s go eat.” Y/N said, they both walked out of her dorm and got into an Uber to go eat at a Chinese restaurant, the Paper Lantern.

“So why Paddington?” Xavier asked.

“Dude, Paddington bear is literally the spectacled bear from Peru, making him a cute little Latino bear. Besides, his uncle Pastuzo died in an earthquake, his aunt Lucy sent Paddington to London with a little tags that says ‘please look after this bear’ like what happens when kids are sent to a different place for refuge where they have no family. His aunt went to a retirement home for bears in Lima. My parents read me the books when I was younger because my mom was also sent to the states when she was younger with the tag ‘please look after me’ so my mom related to Paddington. My ‘grandma’ bought my mom the Paddington books and the teddy bear you see in my room. My dad came to the states when he was an adult and he had family that also went to the states.” Y/N explained.

“So the bear has sentimental value?” Xavier asked

“A lot of sentimental value, Paddington represents my mom’s hardships. Anyway, he’s a very special bear. Do you want to get wonton soup? I definitely know I do.” Y/N said.

“Yeah, we can get the soup. I want the Moo goo gai pan.” Xavier said.

“Half chicken with lobster fried rice is good.” Y/N said, they ordered their food, had a good time, and went back to Nevermore. “One of these days, Xavier, you will appreciate Paddington as much as I do. Good night.” Y/N said, kissing his cheek.

“Goodnight, sweetheart.” Xavier said kiss her softly before leaving to go to his dorm.

The next day, Y/N was out shopping with Enid, Yoko, Divina, Wednesday, and Enid’s wolf friends. Xavier entered her dorm room, wanting to leave flowers on her bed as little romantics gesture. The bad thing is that Xavier didn’t know there was a bee in the flowers so he grabbed the closest thing on Y/N’s bed. Xavier thought it was a pillow, and began swatting the bee, hitting the ‘pillow’ against every surface he saw the bee until he finally killed it.

“Yes! I got it, ha! Take that, bee!” Xavier said. But only then he realized what he really grabbed. It was Paddington Bear and sadly, he didn’t resemble a bear anymore. The seams were ripped, the bear’s stuffing was everywhere, Paddington Bear was now scraps of fuzzy fluffy fabric. “Oh shit, oh shit, Y/N’s gonna kill me, this can’t be happening, oh my fucking god!” Xavier was now panicking and decided to call Ajax to come into the room. Ajax entered and saw the crime scene.

“Ooh, Y/N’s gonna kill you!” Ajax said, lowkey laughing at Xavier’s expense.

“Oh no, You’re an accessory now, how the fuck am I supposed to fix this?” Xavier asked.

“Dude, it’s a stuffed bear, I’m sure Y/N would be totally fine with a new one.” Ajax said.

“No she won’t! This Paddington is special, it represents the time her mother came to the states as a child, this bear needs to be saved.” Xavier said, grabbing Ajax’s collar to pull him close, signaling that Xavier is being dead serious.

“Okay, chill, how do you explain… ‘bearicide’?” Ajax asked.

“There was a bee on the flowers I bought Y/N, I thigh the I grabbed her pillow but I grabbed the bear. It was totally unintentional bearicide!” Xavier exclaimed. Ajax and Xavier were too busy arguing to notice that Y/N and Yoko walked into the dorm.

“What the hell happened here?” Y/N asked looking at Xavier and Ajax. It was then Y/N noticed the stuffing on the floor and Paddington’s body in Xavier’s hand. “What the hell did you do?!?” Y/N asked the boys angrily so Xavier and Ajax started giving her explanations at the same time. “Stop it! Xavier, tell me what happened.”

“Okay so I bough you flowers, right? They’re right here, here you go, now, there was a bee in the bouquet, I didn’t realized it, I garbed something off your bed, I thought it was a pillow, i couldn’t really tell because I was busy swatting the bee, finally killed it, and then I realized it was Paddington, I’m really sorry, Y/N, I swear I am.” Xavier said, looking at Y/N carefully. Y/N out the flowers down on her nightstand.

“Thank you for the flowers, you two need to get out, I need some time alone, okay.” Y/N said, going to her bed.

“You heard the woman, get out.” Yoko said, practically shoving Ajax and Xavier out the dorm and closed the door.

“She hates me, doesn’t she?” Xavier asked Ajax.

“I Don’t think she hates you, she needs time, I mean after all, you murdered her bear, I’m gonna go hang with Enid now.” Ajax said as he was about to walk away but Xavier grabbed him by his hood.

“Oh no you don’t, you’re helping me fix this.” Xavier said, dragging Ajax to his dorm. Xavier then went to his laptop to look up the bear. “Okay, so the original Paddington Bear is sold on some website in London, costs about 200 euros. That’s like what, a little bit over 200 bucks.”

“It doesn’t ship internationally.” Ajax said.

“Well the other Paddington bears are brown, it looks completely different.” Xavier said. “Ugh, I don’t know what to do, Y/N probably won’t speak to me for days.”

“You Don’t know that.” Ajax said.

But Xavier was right, Y/N did not speak to him. But after school, Xavier had an idea. He went to Y/N’s dorm again and saw the pieces of Paddington on her table. Xavier out them in a bag and went to a place where they restore toys. He went in a talked to the owner, out all the pieces on Paddington on the table and showed him a photo of the bear before he got ruined.

“Is there any chance you can restore this bear?” Xavier asked the owner.

“I Can restore this vintage Paddington bear, the only problem is that it’s very expensive, looks like the poor bear went through the wood chipper.” The owner said,

“Okay fine, name your price.” Xavier said.

“It will be $185 for a complete restoration.” The owner said.

“Done. I’ll pay with card.” Xavier said,

“Thank you son, the bear should be done by tomorrow.” The owner said. Xavier thanked him and left the store. He was walking around Jericho when he saw bear on display. A cute bear with light brown fur, hazel eyes, a paint stained smock, and an artist’s palette holding a paintbrush. Xavier walked in the toy store.

“Excuse me sir, how much is the bear at the window?” Xavier asked the person working the register.

“Cute bear isn’t it? It’s 45 dollars.” The guy said.

“I’ll take the bear.” Xavier said and paid the man. Walking out, he bought another bouquet of flowers, double checking to see there are no bees, no bees in the bouquet, some of Y/N’s favorite candies, and necklace with his initial. He set the basket up all nice, spraying his cologne on the bear, and knocked in Y/N’s door.

“Hi Xavier. To what do I owe the pleasure?” Y/N asked.

“So I know what I did to Paddington was really bad, BUT I took him to get restored so he’ll be good as new. But for the meantime, here are some apology gifts.” Xavier said, showing Y/N the basket. Y/N took the basket, placed it on her bed, and opened it.

“You got me another bear?” Y/N asked, she held the bear to her face and smiled when she noticed his cologne on the bear. “Oh my gosh, Xavier, it looks so cute, he’s literally a mini you.” Y/N said, hugging Xavier.

“Yeah, i saw him in the display window in Jericho and I thought ‘this would be perfect’ and I bought it. You can name him whatever you want, and I hope you’ll sleep with him until I bring Paddington back.” Xavier said.

“I Don’t sleep with Paddington, but i like the sentiment. Thanks for the candies, the necklace is beautiful. I’m sorry I ignored you today…it’s just I literally told you the story to Paddington and then you pulled that shit. But I’m so glad that you’re restoring him, that must’ve cost a fortune.” Y/N said.

“Kinda, almost 200 bucks, but you’re worth it.” Xavier said, kissing Y/N softly. “Want to go to the Paper Lantern again?”

“I’d love to, I’ll just set Benny down.” Y/N said said, setting down her new bear, Benny.

“Is his name Benny because of my babysitter’s a vampire or because of Ben Barnes?” Xavier asked.

“Is it bad if I say Ben Barnes?” Y/N asked.

“Oh, hilarious, let’s go before I remind you why I’m hotter than Ben Barnes, don’t laugh, just humor me.” Xavier said.

“Okay, okay, you’re hotter than Ben Barnes.” Y/N said,

“Thank you for saying that with a straight face, now let’s go,” Xavier said with his hand on his chest

The End

[dangerous-disposition]

here i have found some peace of mind [WIP snippet]

So bc I'm waiting until I have more of the fic actually COMPLETED before I start posting, I'm gonna... keep sharing snippets that I rly like and am really excited for y'all to see. a lot of these scenes will likely change and get longer, and some scenes i share might get axed, who knows? ANYWAY here's some Eddie POV from my modern rockstar!Eddie/housing coordinator!Steve AU!!!

“Dude, is that Chrissy’s phone?”

Eddie jumped and looked up at Jeff with wide eyes. Jeff was standing in the doorway of the “bedroom” of the tour bus. For a moment, Eddie was struck with the idea to eat the phone to hide it which he put a stop to immediately.

“Maybe,” Eddie said elusively, rolling so he was laying more on his side rather than on his stomach.

“You know she’s literally about to have an aneurysm out there trying to find that, right?” Jeff asked with a snort before he climbed up into his bunk across the small hall between bunks.

“At this point, if she hasn’t figured out that I have her phone one hundred percent of the time she can’t find it, that's on her,” Eddie said haughtily, going back to the game of Sudoku he was struggling with before Steve called.

“Maybe you should stop losing your phones, yeah?” Jeff suggested tiredly, throwing his arm over his eyes.

Eddie pouted at the puzzle. “I didn’t lose my phone,” he grumbled, and Jeff snorted.

“Okay, fine, maybe you should stop completely destroying your phones, plural,” he said, and Eddie felt his ears heat up.

It wasn’t his fault that they made phones more and more fragile while also making them too big to fit in his pockets. It’s also not his fault that he was prone to jumping up onto surfaces he shouldn’t be climbing around on and horsing around. He had a diagnosis for that and a prescription and everything, he was honestly doing his best.

Maybe goofing off on the half-wall overlooking the Grand Canyon while wearing his tightest pair of jeans with the least effective pockets last week wasn’t the best decision, but it wasn’t his fault.

The time before that, he was just trying to get a signal while they drove through the boonies. It wasn’t his fault that the bus driver hit a pothole the second Eddie held his phone close to the open window. It truly actually wasn’t.

And before that, he actually just lost his phone. Eddie was positive he had it in his bag, and then when they got to the next venue, it wasn’t there. That happens to the best of people all the time, right?

According to his band mates, no, that didn’t happen to people all the time, but he was pretty sure they were all just conspiring to make him look like a weirdo.

“Whatever, the point is Chrissy knows I always have her phone when she can’t find it. Her freaking out is just silly,” Eddie said with a sniff, glaring down at the Sudoku puzzle he was making zero progress with.

“Edward Munson!”

Jeff peered over the edge of his bunk to smirk at Eddie’s wide-eyed stare. “Uh oh,” he teased as Chrissy stormed into the room.

“You!” she practically shrieked, pointing at him as he shoved the phone between his body and the mattress as if she hadn’t already seen it in his hands.

“What?” he asked innocently, and he screamed as she dove into his bunk to wrestle the phone out from under him.

They tussled for a while, Chrissy yelling all sorts of expletives at him that were honestly still a shock coming from her sweet face. She was also a dirty fighter.

“Ow, shit! Did you just bite me?” Eddie hissed, grabbing Chrissy’s whole face and pushing her away as he looked at the distinctly teeth-shaped indents on his arm. They were deep, just barely not breaking skin and would definitely bruise.

Then Chrissy licked his palm like an animal, and he recoiled enough that he rolled off of her phone.

“What the fuck, Cunningham, that’s disgusting,” Eddie said with a glower, wiping his hand off on his shirt as Chrissy checked for new messages. When she didn’t respond, he added suggestively, “you have no idea where my hand has been.”

“I’ve had worse than whatever you’ve got going on in my mouth,” Chrissy muttered. 

Eddie grimaced. “Now I’m thinking about Jason’s dick, thanks for that, Chris,” he groaned, and Chrissy just snorted.

“I was actually talking about that pizza we were subjected to by the venue last week, but okay, bring my ex’s dick into this,” Chrissy said before smacking Eddie’s chest.

“Ow, my nipples,” Eddie pouted, and she just smacked him again, trying not to laugh.

“Stop stealing my phone!” Chrissy bit out through her teeth, trying to intimidate but honestly channeling the energy of a chihuahua puppy.

“I didn’t steal it! I was just using it! Secretly! While you were looking for it!” Eddie said, barely containing his laugh.

“You’re an asshole, you know that? We’re getting you a new phone as soon as we have time,” Chrissy huffed, tossing her phone back onto Eddie’s bed, which he immediately snatched it back up. “Don’t hide it from me.”

“Did you fucking delete all the answers I figured out on this stupid puzzle?” Eddie gasped, looking at Chrissy with wide eyes.

“Maybe I did,” she said huffily, puffing up her chest as she crossed her arms.

“You monster,” Eddie wailed, flopping back and laying the back of his hand over his forehead dramatically.

“Well, maybe you’ll think before you destroy your next phone, huh?” Chrissy said, reaching over to quickly and viciously pinch one of Eddie’s nipples through his shirt. As Eddie yelled, she quickly dove off the bunk with a shrieking giggle and fled the room.

For a moment Eddie tried to chase her, but with all the wrestling they had managed to get his blankets tangled around his legs. Did Eddie only stop trying to chase Chrissy when he ended up in an undignified heap on the floor of the bus? Perhaps, but only Jeff and him would know that for sure.

“You good, Eddie?”

When Eddie looked up to see Jeff’s phone out and clearly recording if the way he was stifling his laughter was anything to go by, Eddie groaned and dropped his forehead to the floor with a loud thump. Of course, Jeff would be recording this whole mess, just like Gareth had recorded the exact moment he realized his phone had fallen into a literal canyon last week. Naturally, all these moments would be edited together for their next “tour diary” on their YouTube channel.

And yes, the incident with Eddie’s phone falling out the window of the moving bus was also caught on video, and the fans had lost it. So yeah, now their tour diaries included an entire section dubbed “Cringefail Eddie” and it was all good fun.

Crawling back into his bunk, Eddie picked up Chrissy’s phone and started the Sudoku puzzle over again with a bright smile on his face. Yeah, stardom was kind of lonely, but he still had his best friends along for the ride with him.

Please consider reblogging if u like it!! And let me know if u want to be added to the taglist for when it goes live. If u wanna be tagged in WIP snippets too!! TAGLIST (of the ppl who seem to like to read my writing even if it's not finished yet pls just let me know if u don't wanna be tagged in all my snippets)!! @patchworkgargoyle, @scarcrossdlvrs, @indigohightide, @steddieas-shegoes, @indigohightide, @amerikanskaya-krassavitsa, @mylilplanet, @afewproblems

[no-shxme]

Hi I saw you have TalEz on your won'ts for your commissions. Just curious can you explain why?

hi anon yEAH i can explain but like, to preface this, if you happen to like talez you're totally valid and dont feel like you have to dislike it or anything bc im gonna be a lil hater. people like what they like (and dislike what they dislike) and thats totally okay. this is just my own personal opinion. i wish i liked talez more bc its probably the most popular talon ship and im often starving, but i just dont and there's a couple reasons why.

i dont like the way its usually portrayed

im not the biggest ezreal fan.

imo there's better fits for both of them.

ugh this is going to be long so ill put it under the cut.

tbf, you dont NEED some complex reason to dislike a ship/character. like reason 2 is already enough for me to open and shut smth, but i do have complex thoughts about talez. and i am totally going to do a little hating below.

i think talez is so fucking anime that it lacks so much complexity. i dont really like anime. (i know thats a broad, loaded statement i just hate 99% of the tropes that pop up. not saying ive never enjoyed a shitty/tropy anime, but just--no) i think talez is broadly boiled down and portrayed by most fan-creators as 'edgy dark cloud + ball of sunshine' and i think thats so boring and lame for both of them. imo it reduces them to a really basic ship trope and there's nothing inherently WRONG with it, i just think its so boring. i look at popular fanworks and personally find it super reductive for both of them. it feels like talez happened bc at it's inception league needed an anime character ship. to be fair, you can reduce ANY ship to smth basic. talsett is just 'tall x short' but in comparison i think talsett has so much more complexity in theming. same with like, rhaayn for example. to me there's a lot more depth. i think the most depth you can get out of talez is related to ez's loss of family and talon's too + themes of belonging, but god. its not good enough.

talez is also usually portrayed romantically and i'm turbo aromantic and mostly romance repulsed and also hc talon as the same, so this already cuts out so much talez fanwork for me. :')

ALSO while we're at it, talon is such a bottom to me. even when he tops. and i hate him being portrayed as this like, idk, grim edgy SUPER TALL??? domineering top when he's like, as tall as katarina in the comic and was prolly malnourished bc he lived on the streets for years. tbh i would automatically like talez more if they were BOTH shortasses and switches as god intended. but noooo. i think if i literally just saw/read more ez topping talon then i'd be automatically more on board. but id also need an aromantic angle so its literally never happening.

i think when ezreal gets paired with talon both of their personalities get so fucked. his ass is not cuddling. ezreal is not some weak damsel or master of seduction either. i think a problem that not just talez creators but like, creators in general suffer from is erasing bad traits that characters have, unless they're 'cute.' talon has some cute bad traits, but he also has some seriously bad traits that loving or being loved wont fix. and ezreal is just reduced SO bad. so talez feels inherently ooc to me. fandom has done a number on him. there's nothin left in the pot. i think being with talon (in canon) is such an uphill battle and most of the time i dont see ezreal equipped to handle it in comparison to other people.

i dont really like ezreal. i think i've already made that clear before. he's fun to play and i like him on a surface level and ive got friends that really like him and thats totally fine but idk he's just not my blorbo. the only time i really like him is when he's with aphelios, where somehow my dislike of both characters cancel out. maybe i dont have room for him because i like talon too much, who knows. either way, often times when talez fanworks are created the focus is actually just on ezreal, and that annoys me as an ezreal disliker. (fanwork creators can create whatever the fuck they want ofc, godspeed do what makes you happy)

and my third point: there's better fits for both of them. i like ezphel and ezkayn more than talez. i think in canon there's a good chance talon might genuinely kill him. or ezreal might really overwhelm him and drive him away with his outward facing personality. and frankly there's a good chance ezreal also goes away bc talon is bad news and also doesn't have the charisma to keep him there. and ofc for talon i think talsett is the ultimate fit, or even talshan is right there.

THAT BEING SAID. i don't mind talez AS much if there's a third, though we still run into some of the same issues as above. like ive written talezsett before. thats nice! talezlux is okay too even if,, completely unfeasible... (i have strong opinions im sorry. as a crack ship its fun i think)

blah blah. i think i could like talez but i would have to write it myself. thats what it boils down to. there are ideas/concepts i like about them. ive juggled the idea of putting a talez fic on my to do list but i just dont think i'll write it in any way that actual talez fans would like, which means there's no point in writing it at all. i've plotted several, long and short, but i think everyone would hate it. talez isn't a strict 'won't write.' iirc it specifically says like: 'unless the idea goes hard' but no ones tried me pfppf, and im fine with it i guess.

there's more i can say but like, i dont want this to be too long.

the important thing to remember is that if you like talez... GOOD. im happy for you!! keep loving it, godspeed. these are just my personal reasons it doesnt click with me.

[sleepymccoy]

I expect people don't really need to hear this, but I'm feeling it right this minute so imma talk about the chronology of how i write

I used to think to create a cohesive story you had to either write everything down in order, or fully plan out the story before starting so you didn't get lost. I am so glad I stopped doing either of these a long time ago

Now I just write what suits me, and if I go against an earlier scene I either rewrite that or scrap it. There's a lot of scrapping tbh

With fanfic I can kinda get away with it cos I know the characters well enough to be familiar with their emotional arc and jump around the beats pretty nimbly. It's different w original stories cos I don't know the characters so well yet. My first run at it I tried to plan AND write in order, which is the opposite of what I naturally do

Now I'm doing what I want. And I'm rediscovering how easy it is to write like this! And I'm meeting and learning who these guys are as I go, which informs everything else

My early scenes are pretty rough and dialogue/setting heavy. Not a lot of internal thoughts or opinionated observations. After I write a scene (not before!) I summarise what that scene has in it. Some are just "show what meal times are like" and I kinda know the characters are also meeting for the first time. But their dialogue is gonna change, I'm gonna write some throw away line in two months time that reshapes the whole first meeting and then I'll go back and rewrite the interactions to fit. Or put it in another scene. But I'll always have something based on this that shows what meal times are like. And that's great. Cos rn the scene is done, I've given it it's little green colour label on Scrivener, and I can move tf on. Later, I'll know these guys better and it'll be a better scene.

I know this is what a first draft is, but I always had in mind that the first draft is done when you finish the ending. But I'm on the third draft of some scenes and I'm not even at the second act. And those third drafts are my guiding rods for characterisation cos by this point they're supporting each other in this complex foreshadowing, emotional beat, cross referential ways that make the whole thing cohesive. The other scenes, well, they're place holders to keep me moving forwards. Even some of the really hot ones.

Like, the scene where they fuck in the sapling room is sexy, but ultimately is probably gonna change cos it's such a pivotal moment and I don't know how it'll reverberate yet. Whereas the scene where they spontaneously decide to try edging? That's had a few rewrites and has some cool complex emotions and foreshadowing going on, as well as toe dipping into mutual dependency, and I like it very much now. It's doing what I want and any changes from here on should be pretty small.

I can particularly remember laying in bed two weeks after writing the edging scene and going 😶 he's being too open about being upset about the day, there's no way he'd discuss that yet. And disappointedly decided to remove all of the motivating force and put that sex somewhere else and face rewriting the whole emotional beat. But I reread it and was like... Hang on... The motivation can stay as long as he lies... And then the pov character can establish some of his thick headedness in not noticing... And it's not exactly heathy... Yum

But that needed two weeks of noodling for me to realise. And now it's foreshadowing the act three plot twist! That I haven't written yet cos I have too many ideas for how to do the reveal and they're all juicy

Anyway, I'm loving being free to rewrite and change stuff constantly. And like, also gives me the freedom to drag and drop things into different points in the chronology if I wanna try it out with relatively little editing cos so far the scenes are mostly surface level.

It's good. I'm good. It's been like seven weeks of free form writing when I feel like it and it's at like 25k without breaking a sweat so. I'm happy ❤️❤️

[loveisonlyforthebrave8]

i’m having a weird brain week

i’m gonna try and put it into words because i need to get whatever this feeling is off my chest somehow

but it feels like for the past week my head is like a watermelon with lots of rubber bands wrapped around it, and i’m on the precipice of total meltdown in the form of a messy explosion

i can’t concentrate on anything

my tinitus is rattling around in my brain on repeat and it keeps getting louder and more abnoxious the more i try and pretend its not there

my chest is so tight and my lungs are currently wheezing up a storm and no one actually knows what’s wrong with my chest and why i randomly wheeze at whatever time of the day for no particular reason because my chest is fine on all the scans but it’s actually not fine because why am i still wheezing

i try to read fanfic but i can’t see the words

i try to watch shows but i can’t hear the words

i want to go for a drive but i don’t want to drive without having a destination and fuck knows where i want to drive to

i want to leave the house and *do something* but the thought of leaving the house makes me want to cry because i don’t want to do it alone

and then comes the realisation that i don’t really have many *close* irl friends who i want to chill with because it’s all just surface level friendships because no one really knows me and the way i hyperfixate on certain things or shows or ships and sometimes that’s the only thing that makes me truly happy and when i do try and talk to my irl friends about it they listen without really listening or they try and indulge me without any real effort and it just makes me not want to talk to any of them about it because no one gets it or gets me

but even today my usual hyperfixations aren’t distracting enough to quiet my brain

so i’m endlessly scrolling on tiktok to try and fill the void that my usual media outlets aren’t quite hitting

i’m currently hyperfixating on RWARB content because it seems to be the only thing i can currently say i’m genuinely looking forward to but i’m also getting annoyed because it’s not here yet

it’s almost like i hit my peak (seeing my name on that big screen and everyone was saying how amazing it was and how proud they are of me) and i’m still trying to live off that high

but to go from that to now sitting alone in my room, unemployed again after losing my next big contract because of the strikes, strugging to find my next job because there is no work in my field, watching my barely even there to begin with savings dwindle away as bill after bill comes out but nothing is going in and that’s making me anxious as fuck but i’m also trying not to think about it because then i will have a breakdown and i can’t afford to have a breakdown because it won’t actually solve anything so i squash it at the back of my brain like the constant buzzing in my ears

i’ve applied for theatre job after theatre job, because its the only job i can think of off the top of my fuzzy head to apply for that would enjoy but also give the opportunity to be there short term and be flexible enough that if i was to find film/tv work i could plausibly do both

and i’m just kinda plodding along with the biggest fucking tension headache of my life that just won’t seem to quit and now i’m blurting about it on tumblr under a read more because what the fuck else am i going to do? be productive? pfft

[thaleleah]

So sorry this is so late, hun! But holy craaaap this was amazing! For someone that hasn't seen the show, this was so incredibly well written and I knew this was gonna be a gem just because it was you that wrote it but I couldn't have asked for a better fic. I think you captured Billy's personality perfectly!

/definitely not historically actuate but you are reading about getting railed by billy-the-kid so you can fuck off if you have a problem with it./

You know what..... you're right 😌

/You would catch him staring at you from across the market. He would try to talk to you every chance he got. Always trying to find out more about you. He was awkward mostly, unfitting to his position of power. Despite his eager attempts to gain an audience with you, his eyes often floated around the room, and the conversation topics only always grazed the surface. 

Nevertheless when you excused yourself from him, he always seemed disappointed but never stopped you/

This is so in character for him. He's actually is such an awkward young man who is forced into this intimidating and dangerous position of power and its so accurate to see how he takes charge of his position now but still fumbles when it comes to love and personal matters lolllll

/Billy greets the shopkeeper respectfully but the men he is with are arrogant and begin playing with the objects on display./ and /Billy takes it first and places the small pouch in his pocket, thanking the man, and asking about his family./

I love that you emphasize Billy's respectful qualities! That's such a huge part of his personality and frankly so incredibly hot for no reason lmaoooo. Asking about the man's family? 😍

/"You look awful pretty today"

"You say that every day, Mr Bonney".

“I mean it every day”./

YOU LITTLE ROMANTIC YOU, BILLY. He's got the rizz

/“Well we ain't strangers” he says as he nestles up beside you again./

Nope, we are not strangers, my delusional little psycho. We've been secretly dating and actually already engaged since before we even officially met in your mind

/Thank you for seeing me home, Mr Bonney”, You try.

“Anytime Miss Y/N. Maybe one day you could invite me around, and we could have tea”./

Yes, sir! Whenever you want, sir! My legs--- oh i mean door is always open for you, sir!

/The Regulators go to move out before the rest of the guests but Billy blocks the path by putting his hand on the front pew. Manners were important to Billy but less so to his group./

Me when Billy is strict and enforcing respect:

/You spin out from his arms in sync with the other girls. It reached the part of the song where partners were swapped but Billy held tight to your hand and spun you back into him, leaving the next man looking for his new dance partner./

Billy being possessiveeeeeeeee 🥵🥵🥵 So fucking hot

/“I don’t know what you mean, but you better get that gun out of my face before I put you down”.

You shrink yourself as small as you could against Billy back. His hold tightens as he feels you move. 

Harold scoffs, “You ain’t that quick”. 

“Yes, I am” he threatens./

"Yes, I am" - BREAK MY BACK LIKE A GLOWSTICK WHY IS THAT SO HOT

/Your days became dull again without the excitement of Billy. Your chores became chores again without the added threat of Billy laying in wait. 

Miss may be a strong word, but something felt off when he wasn’t around. You figure you had gotten so used to a state of anxiety that normalcy felt strange./

Miss girl got a little bit of a fear kink?? 👀 I too crave to be stalked by Billy lollll. Who wants normalcy when you could have Billy?

/You sleep with the thought of him on your mind. Who would protect the town if not him? Who would fill your days with excitement and wonder? You scold yourself for the latter thought./

Giiiiirllllll just fuck him! You know you want tooooo

Side note tho: I really like the concept of him being the unofficial law and main protection of everyone in town (like in the dark/bad boy sense but also as a kindness) but also being her main source of anxiety. Idk why but there's something so attractive about him technically being the ultimate protector/"good person" for everyone else except her. Probs a form of authority kink? Idk lol. Idk if that actually made sense or not.

/His name never gets off your lips. It’s sealed shut by a strong gloved hand pressed over your mouth, and the feeling of a cool barrel of a gun pressed into the side of your head./

HELLO HI MR BONNEY IS DONE PLAYING OUR FUCKING GAMES

/“I’ve missed you these past few days. Been real lonely without you”. He kicks the dirt under his shoe and watches as it jumps from his force. 

“We were never friends, Billy”. 

Billy. The name seemed to have just fallen off your lips. 

The sound of his name gave him courage to look up at you.

“You’re right. You’re right. We skipped that stage”./

"We were never friends, Billy" OUCH! You know that hurt him to hear 😭 Poor baby daydreams every second of every day of his future life with her and she's trying to say they aren't friends? For shameeeee.

Also i love that her saying his first name finally is what ultimately gave him the motivation to do what he needed to do. He probably almost came in his pants hearing her say it

/“You know God told me that you were the woman for me’’.

“Did he?” you ask cautiously. 

“Years ago. I saw you in town, I said ‘God, if she’s the one make her drop her bracelet’. And you did”. 

He reaches into his vest pocket pulling out his pocket watch to show you the chain. He brought it over to you. In the light you could see that he had melted the gold of your bracelet to his small gold watch and fashioned it into his pocket watch that he carried daily. The ends of the bracelet were melded but the gold that was braided together looked identical to the bracelet you had lost/

BRUH THATS SO CUTE. He fused it to his watch so he could carry a part of her with him all the time 🥰 How romantic

/“If I can’t make you see my love, I can make you feel it”. /

/The shake of your body is attributed to many things, the cold air that swarmed you, the shame and fear of it all, the fact that it was your first time being bare to a man. Billy took it to mean the cold and adjusted the blankets so they were pressed up against the sides of your body./

HE'S SO CONSIDERATE. We love a considerate man

/You had no intention of killing him. You had just wanted to touch it. The gun of Billy-the-kid./

No cause same tho

/“What? What do you want my gun for?” As he leans up to reach for it and you feel his cock push up into your stomach. 

He brings it out of his holster with the barrel pointed at your head, but his finger is far from the trigger. 

“Don’t you know a man’s gun is part of him? You should ask a man before you touch it”.

The gun pushes further and down to your lips. Billy’s eyes were dark. The awkward boy that used to court you was buried in the furthest part of him.

“Open your mouth” he commands. 

With the taste of metal at your teeth, you do part your lips enough for the tip of the gun. A struggle could lead to an accidental misfire. 

His thrusts in time with the movement of the gun. His eyes focus on your lips, the way they curl around his barrel. 

The metallic taste overwhelmed your tongue and your nose. It felt as if you could still taste the smoke on it. You are slow in your movements so not to startle him as you pull your head back./

/“Fuck” he sputters, his eyes close and he picks up pace, “That was hot”./

YEAH TELL ME ABOUT IT - everything about that scene was hot

/“The only way I would hurt you now is by leaving you. No man but those desperate or widowed would have you after I am done. Your family would never recover their name. Now I’ve made it clear that we are to get married, so no hurting is being done”. 

His fingers dig into your hips so hard that there was sure to be bruises littering the skin tomorrow. 

“Ain’t no sin for a husband and wife to become one”./

The manipulation is top tier lmaoooo, especially for his personality. But he's not wrong tho. He's fucked her up in more ways than one

/“I built you a house, you know. Told myself I couldn’t touch you until I drove the final nail in, and the day I do, you appear at the market a day earlier than you usually would. We’re connected. Every bad thing has led me here to you”./

HE BUILT HER A HOUSE! This man is a gem, idk what Reader is talking about

/“Yes. again. We gotta make sure we put a baby in you”, he states, positioning his body once again over yours./

You gotta do what you gotta do 🤷🏻‍♀️

You got my heart in my throat thinking that Billy was gonna have to kill her dad 😭

/“This is your room for when you need your space. I won’t step foot into it”. He looks at you expecting you to be overjoyed but finds you glaring back at him./

He's so fucking sweet I caaaaaaaaaaan'ttttt

And awwww, that ending is so sweet! Stockholm Syndrome is so sweet LMAOO. I hope she gets the baby girl she's hoping for

Fantastic fic, hun! I loved it 🧡

To have and to hold.

1/1 Disclaimer: I have not watched Billy the kid. This story is based on an internet search, and a can do mentality. No cannon events or characters.

Warnings: Dark!billy-the-kid, non-con, light stalking, technical kidnapping, spit, mature, 18+ only, porn-with-little-plot, non-fandom based writing, Reader POV, reader not described but can be picked up, definitely not historically actuate but you are reading about getting railed by billy-the-kid so you can fuck off if you have a problem with it. Dead dove, do not eat.

A/N: I am so sorry that this was late, and also rushed. The tent scene felt like I was pulling teeth out. I had no idea where I was going with it.

unedited.

You always knew Billy had a crush on you.

You would catch him staring at you from across the market. He would try to talk to you every chance he got. Always trying to find out more about you. He was awkward mostly, unfitting to his position of power. Despite his eager attempts to gain an audience with you, his eyes often floated around the room, and the conversation topics only always grazed the surface. 

Nevertheless when you excused yourself from him, he always seemed disappointed but never stopped you. 

You never minded the attention. You were flattered by it. Before him, none of the town's men paid you too much mind. Your family wasn’t rich, and your face was too plain to gain attention away from the wealthy girls.

It helped too that it was handsome. Dangerous. Big broad shoulders and striking eyes. He was good at his craft. Some say the best.

He was good enough to keep the vultures away from town. For a price. Him and his gang kept the town safe for a portion of everyone’s profits. It was a small profit compared to what he could have asked but added up quickly amongst the business that bloomed with his protection.

The regulators became the law after running out the corrupt and keeping out wild gangs that would come and pillage.

There were worse men to be left in charge. Overall his reputation was good but money was to be paid, or houses were to be burned down.

He had men to look after. They had to be fed and housed with a few extra dollars in their pockets to halt their boisterous nature.

From the few times he did use a heavy hand, it left a strong reminder to the community that Billy’s word was law.

Even with his sheriff- like position, he was still considered an outlaw. Wanted in multiple counties. Wanted in yours not too long ago. Before he and his crew became the new law. So you had to keep your distance as much as you could, and avoid situations where you could be seen alone with him. The town mostly thought of you as a poor target for Billy but a few whispers about you were already causing damage to your reputation.

 Anyone connected to the regulators was treated differently. People wanted to distance themselves from the group that controlled the area. Anyone found being too friendly with the Regulators were ostracized. Your family couldn't afford to be outcast. The family business relied on steady connections and loyal customers. 

So you don’t mind the flirtatious talk in private or burning stares so long as it never proceeds from that.

To help this, you avoided him where you could but some days it felt as if he knew your schedule better than you did. 

You tried to switch it up by going to town a day earlier than you usually would, but fate had it that it was the same day as Billy’s collection. 

People hush as Billy and two of his men come into the convenience store. Some leave while others push themselves to the back of the store. You try and hide your face behind a series of hanging baskets as you watch the group walk confidently in. 

Billy greets the shopkeeper respectfully but the men he is with are arrogant and begin playing with the objects on display. You knew them as Jim Greathouse, and Tom O’Folliard. Both long-standing members of the Regulators. 

“Good evening, Mr O’Conoly. How are you today?”

“Good, Billy. Thank you”. The shopkeeper places a pouch of money on top of the counter for the men to take. 

Billy takes it first and places the small pouch in his pocket, thanking the man, and asking about his family. 

You try to make your escape moving from behind the baskets towards the door. Your face heated with just the thought of talking to Billy in a room full of people. In passing or at a public event was unavoidable, your townspeople knew that, but talking so friendly in a shop. It would bring your family shame if it came across too familiar.

But you were too hasty in your exit, your feet too hard against the floor. The shuffling caught his attention. Worried that he might be offended with your behavior, you pretend to look at the pears on display as if contemplating. 

The sound of his feet against the floorboards matched the beating of your heart. 

You pretend to look busy as you inspect the pears but could feel his searing stare as he approached you.

“Miss y/n”’ he took off his hat as he spoke as a sign of respect.

You nodded your head towards him as a sign of respect back, “Mr Bonney”.

“Billy. You can call me Billy”.

You nod back with a tight smile, keeping your eyes focused on the produce in front of you. To encourage Billy by calling him by familiar terms may give him the wrong impression.

"You look awful pretty today"

"You say that every day, Mr Bonney".

“I mean it every day”. He stands close to you, leaning his frame over yours. With his height it could have been intimidating but you knew he meant no harm.

“Did you need help shopping today? I could carry your basket for you” His fingers reach out to your basket but you tug it back against you. 

“Thank you, Mr Bonney, but I will not be buying anything today. I must get home. I suddenly don’t feel well”. 

“Wait” He reaches out and gently captures your arm to stop you from turning. It was the first time he had ever touched you. It felt like you had been zapped with electricity. 

You pull quickly out of his grasp and look around the shop. People were staring at the scene. One wrong step and it could be the end of your family's good name. You step further back from him, solidifying that he was the same person to them as he was to you. 

Billy holds his hands flat out in surrender, telling you he had no further plans of touching you. 

“I was just wondering if you planned to be at Maria's wedding?”. 

Maria was a friend of yours, of course you would be at her wedding. You wondered why he was asking, he knew this too. 

She was often with you when he approached. More than that her soon-to-be husband was friendly with Billy, and borrowed from the Regulators to finance a farm. 

Because of that, would he now be invited to the wedding? Would you be stuck avoiding him the whole night?

“I do,” you respond. If you lied and he was invited it would be an uncomfortable evening, but has telling the truth now placed you in a difficult spot?

“I was wondering if you might fancy a dance or two with me?”

A sudden loud clanking noise stole the spotlight from you. Jim had knocked a table of grain and spilled it over the floor along with the serving cup. Tom bellowed at his friend's mistake, kneeling over from laughter. 

“I am sorry, sir” Billy said to the shopkeeper, “He will pay for that”. 

Tom laughs louder, earning a shove from Jim. 

“Clean it up” Billy demands with a click of his fingers. Jim snatched a nearby rag and kneeled upon the floor under Billy’s stare. You make a quick exist while he is distracted but he follows you across the floor. 

The shopkeepers goes to help clean up the mess by bringing a broom but he is insulated by Jim as he nears. He throws the dirty rag at the man and questions why he didn’t bring a broom sooner. 

Billy’s attention is once again caught. He looks at you as you pass through the door but Jim continues to hurl insults at the undeserving shopkeep. Billy turns direction away from you to deal with the situation. 

“Hey. He’s paid his dues. Leave him alone” was the last thing you heard as you raced down the steps and to the path back home. 

You bash your hand against your forehead as you take the dirt path back to your home. It felt good to release some of the tension you felt. You had kept your composure through your walk through the back of town but could feel it bubbling under the surface. 

You should have left as soon as he entered the store. Now you were left in difficult position and only the feeling of dread around your friends wedding. 

How would you be able to avoid him for the entire time? Your only hope is that he will avoid you while you are with your family. 

You swing your empty basket. The trip to town and back was a 40 minute walk across a hard pebble road. You’d have to make it again tomorrow. 

You wondered if you would see him again. Billy normally placed himself in town to correspond with your schedule. 

Would he ask for a dance again or had you wounded his pride? What is the right answer? 

Yes would leave the town talking for weeks. Might even affect your fathers business.

 No might make you an enemy of the Regulators.  Which is the last thing you wanted to be. 

Perhaps if you took more chores, your sister would take your trip to town. 

She was stubborn though. Would want more than her fair share to swap tasks. You begin your negotiations in your head. 

Preparing for when you get home, when the sound of galloping horse upon the gravel approaches you. You move from the path to let the horseman pass, but it slows next to you. 

You look up at the rider, just making out his face under the sun. 

“Mr Bonney. What are you doing?”. 

You eye the area to see no one else. A blessing and a curse. 

He swings off his horse next to you.  

“You said you felt ill. I thought it was best to see you home alright”.

“I’ll be fine. Thank you, Mr Bonney”.

“Please, I insist. Riding would be faster than walking”.

“How would that look, sir? Sharing a horse?”.

“You could sit, and I’ll walk him along,” he suggests. His hat covers his face in shadows. It made it hard to see how he was processing your words.

“No, thank you, sir. The walk would be good for me. You go on now”. 

“I’ll walk alongside you”. He readies the reins of his horse between his hand for a walking pace.

“There’s really no need” you try. 

“There’s also nothing stopping me” he returns. 

It puts you back on one foot. He had never spoken to you like that before. Conversations about the weather, and upcoming community events were the only things really talked about. Sometimes he would ask after your family, and your health. But he found that broader, more unfamiliar topics worked best to elicit a conversation. 

You once helped him pick out a ripe watermelon when he asked you but he had never refused to stop bothering you. 

He walked beside you with his shoulder almost touching yours. You try to create distance by walking on the edge of the road. The rocks slip off the edge of the road under your feet. It makes for an uncomfortable walk, in which your ankle twists from the uneven ground. 

“It looks like rain” he looks up to the sky and its dark forming clouds, “I sure hope it clears before the wedding”. 

You tense as he brings up the wedding. It was surely a ploy to reintroduce his offer. In an attempt to discourage him, you only offer him a nod. 

One wrong step and you tumble of balance towards the surrounding dirt. 

“Careful” he hand latches on to your arm, pulling you back on the path. He moves himself and his horse over to the center of the road, pulling you along with his hold, “Don’t want you breaking an ankle before our dance”. 

You paused to consider a broken ankle as your way of escaping the dance, but it would immobilise you and Billy was sure to sit by your side the entire night. 

“I don’t dance, Mr Bonney. Two left feet I am afraid”. 

“We’ll get along fine”

“I might not be well enough to attend anyway”. 

“Oh” he looks ahead at the road, “That would be a shame”.

The horse kicks, impatient with her pace. 

“Settle” he commanded with a pat to its nose. 

“She’s used to going fast,” he tells you. 

“Please, Mr Bonney. I would hate to upset your horse”. You gesture for him to go forward and leave you.

He laughs at you. A sweet, airy laugh. 

“She'll be fine”.

You knew he meant you no harm. Even as you walk with him miles from anyone you felt no fear. So you walk in a comfortable silence next to him, your feet falling into step with his own. 

“If you need a break, let me know,” he spoke. 

You wondered why he said such a thing, forgetting your own lie. Quick in your recoup you bring your hand to your forehead 

“I will be fine. Home is not too far off”. 

He offers you a drink from his water flask which you decline. He had reached for it although from his saddle and you still him with a hand on his shoulder. It freezes him.

In return his eyes freeze you as he peers back over his shoulder.

You’re not sure why but an apology falls from your lips. 

“No” he assures, “No-I”. 

Neither of you were sure where to go.

He puts the flask back, turning to you with empty hands. 

You didn't notice that you had stopped walking until his horse kicked impatiently.

“I have to get home” you state. 

You pick up speed and return to the silence as you walk alongside him. 

Out of nowhere and somewhat timidly he reaches a hand out and places it on your shoulder. 

You jump back at the unexpected contact. Half expecting the hand to claw and punch you down to the ground. But it releases. 

He squints his eyes at you, surprised at your reaction. 

“You don’t think I would hurt you. Do you?”

You weren’t sure. He’s never been aggressive towards you. But stories of him being a dangerous man made their way around the community. 

“No, Mr Bonney”. 

With home so close it urges you to pick up the pace. He keeps it easily. 

“Is that why you didn’t want me to walk you home? Because you thought I would hurt you? Y/N, I would never”.

His hand once again goes up to touch you but you knock it away. 

“Mr Bonney, may I remind you that you are a stranger to me. That I am an unmarried woman, and you are an unmarried man. If some one were to mistake this situation, it could cause great damage to my reputation. My family's reputation, and livelihood".

He looked hurt that you had spoken to him like that. He stopped his fast pace beside you, and you took the opportunity to continue on without him. 

“Well we ain't strangers” he says as he nestles up beside you again. 

The walk turned silent again and it remained that way as you passed through the wide field to your home. 

Your small family home comes into view, and thought perhaps you could shake him. But he doesn’t leave you as you open your gate. 

“Thank you for seeing me home, Mr Bonney”, You try.

“Anytime Miss Y/N. Maybe one day you could invite me around, and we could have tea”.

You slam the gate shut between you. By allowing him to walk you home, does he think that you were opening up to him? 

“I am not sure my father would approve”. 

Billy’s eyes fall to the ground. He doesn’t look up as he speaks. 

“I see”, he states, “Well, rest up and I’ll see you at the wedding”.

You hear the talking of your mother and sister as they bring the washing back up to the house. If they came too close, he would try to start a friendly conversation with them. The risk of your father seeing, and shooting is already high. You needn’t add to it. 

“Goodbye, Mr Bonney”, you bid. 

You leave him at the gate, scoping your mother and sister into your arms and back into the house. 

—

The day of the wedding came. The whole house woke up in excitement but you felt more heavy than you should have. 

You tried to strike a balance between dressing nice and dressing too nice that Billy would think you dressed up for him.

Luckily, Miara relied on you the whole day to complete last minute things. While the others were gathered in front of the church, you were in the field gathering flowers for her bouquet. After that you helped her dress and do her hair. It all kept you away from the guests right up to the wedding. 

You dash inside the small church to find your seat before the bride was ready to come in. 

You saw not only him but the entire group of the Regulators sitting at that back corner out of the way. They were all clean and dressed nicely to Billy’s request. Their hats were taken off their heads in respect, and not one of them spoke. 

Billy’s body shifted as he saw you. It straightened, slightly turning towards you as you walked up the aisle to your family. You could feel his eyes on you as you walked. You couldn’t help looking back at him. 

You took your seat next to your sister in time for the band to start the wedding march. Maria slowly walks down the aisle, you try to keep you focused on her during all of the service but his stare burns a hole in the back of your head. 

All too soon the ceremony was over. Maria and her new husband stop to greet Billy as they pass. Maria’s husband gets a firm handshake as Billy says something to him and Maria is brought in for a kiss on the cheek. 

They acted like old friends despite their true relationship as debtor and debtee. 

Once the newlyweds make it to the door signaling for the rest to follow, you form a barrier of your family to keep you away from Billy as you pass him. The Regulators go to move out before the rest of the guests but Billy blocks the path by putting his hand on the front pew. Manners were important to Billy but less so to his group.

Billy and the Regulators walked behind the guests to the reception held in the field of the newlyweds' new farmstead. The couple had hired a live band, and borrowed tables and chairs.  Candles and a large fire was lit as it darkened. People danced and laughed amongst the Regulators, but you found yourself trying to keep busy to avoid any conversation. 

If you remained for too long in one spot, you could feel Billy closing in. Only the request from your friend on her big day made you pause. She needed help dishing up the punch as the speeches would begin soon. 

All your efforts of the night were wasted as you distributed the drink into the many cups. You were a sitting duck, and you could see Billy closing in. You rush, half spilling the punch on the table. People distracted him as he made his way over. It gave you hope you could finish before he reached you. 

“Whoa, slow down” Maria jeered. 

“Sorry. Can you find someone else to do this? Mr Bonney is coming over and if I get trapped talking to him it will ruin my night”. 

Maria slaps your arm hard causing you to spill a whole cup of punch. 

“I won’t hear that talk about Billy. Not after what he did”. 

Your friend goes back to pouring but she has now peaked your interest. 

“What did he do?” you ask. 

Maria places her cup down and leans closer to you as if it was a secret. 

“Our wedding present was the farm. We own it. Debt free. He let us off”.

An expensive wedding present from a man who barely knows the couple. It was also a dangerous thing to do. How many people will now be expecting debt to be wiped free after every major life event. 

Billy made his way over. You don’t turn from Maria but she ecstatically greets him. 

“Can I lend a hand, Maria?”. He stands too close, your shoulder almost touching him. 

Maria declined his offer of help but he picks up the empty cups and holds them out for you to fill. 

You don’t speak to him as you work but he continues to swap the cups under you. 

“Let's start passing these out” Maria spoke to you, picking up a tray and disappearing into the party. You follow suit, picking up your tray without a word, but Billy takes it from you, placing it back on the table. 

“I was wondering if you were ready for the dance you promised me?”.

“There are many girls here, Mr Bonney, who are dying for a dance”. You hint at him. You look to your father who is watching you from his group of friends. 

“That may be so”. He is resolved to his position. Although you knew it was unintentional his hand went to his gun holster light resting on the leather belt. 

 It was best not to make a scene so you give him a curt nod and head towards the crowd of people dancing. A dance at a wedding is hardly anything scandalous. He follows close and when he feels like you are far enough into the dance floor he takes your wrist into his hand and spins you towards him. 

“Are you having a good time?’’ he asks as you move together to the festive music.

“Yes”. You wish you could have said more but your brain felt muddled with him so close. You could feel his strong shoulders as you rest your arm around his neck, and his strong fingers squeezed around yours.

“It didn’t rain” he comments. 

“No” you agree. 

“You look beautiful in that dress”

“Thank you. I borrowed it from my sister”.

A man calls out to Billy, taking the attention off you for the second that it took Billy to give an acknowledging nod. 

You spin out from his arms in sync with the other girls. It reached the part of the song where partners were swapped but Billy held tight to your hand and spun you back into him, leaving the next man looking for his new dance partner. 

Billy jerks his head in the direction of the girl who was supposed to take your place.

“Over there” he suggests. 

The dance continues and you resume your position as Billy’s dance partner. 

“That’s not how that dance goes” you scold. 

“Not going to let you go that easy”.

He spins you out and back in again, “You told me you were two left feet. You seem to be doing alright to me”, he says as he holds you close. 

You push yourself out of his hold and back  into dancing formation. Cozy in the arms of the judge, jury and executor is not a good look. 

“That may be because you are two right feet”.  

He laughs causing you to giggle with him but you were acutely aware of your fathers protective stare. 

“See we make the perfect pair” he boasts. 

His remark silences you. Too many flirtatious exchanges could leave the wrong impression. 

“How are you feeling?” Billy asks softly, “I ain’t spinning you too much, am I? Did you want to sit with me for a bit?” 

“No” better to get the dancing out of the way for the night, “no, I feel fine”. 

He doesn’t spin you again. Instead keeping you close in a gently swaying motion. You follow his lead around the floor. A few stared but most were too consumed with themselves to notice. Only your father paid true attention. 

“Maria told me that you forgave the debt on the land” you said after a moment of nothing but dancing. 

He nods back, a small smile on his lips as he looks out to the other dancers. He was pleased that you knew.

“I did. We want to see prosperity in this land. Farmers are important in that”.

Suddenly his jaw became hard, and his hold loosened. 

“Wouldn’t that be right, Harold?”. 

His change confused you. Instead of dancing with you, he had pushed your body behind his, gripping the fabric of your dress around your waist to keep you still, and had his gun pointed straight. 

You move as much as you could to see Harold Fern, the baker in your community. He looked disheveled as he held out a shotgun.  His hair was a mess, his clothes half done up and wrinkled His cheeks and nose burned red with intoxication. 

“You son of a bitch” slurred Harold, “You took everything from me”. 

“I don’t know what you mean, but you better get that gun out of my face before I put you down”.

You shrink yourself as small as you could against Billy back. His hold tightens as he feels you move. 

Harold scoffs, “You ain’t that quick”. 

“Yes, I am” he threatens. 

Harold sways as he thinks about Billy’s statement giving Billy the time to try and talk so sense into the man. 

“I don’t want to hurt you, Harold. Don’t make me. Whatever you think I have done, I am sure we can fix it”. 

“Your taxes put me out of business. My fathers business, my fathers’ fathers business. You and your gang come in demanding a share from the work you don’t do”. 

 ‘I am sorry, Harold, Truely. But your business would have been gone long ago if it weren’t for us. You think the Casa gang would have left anything if they were successful in their attack? We stopped them. What do you think would have been left of this town if we didn’t?”. 

With the man subdued, you move from where you pressed up against Billy’s back to move from the line of fire. But Billy’s hold on your dress would not loosen. You resumed your spot against his back, hoping that the bullet would not go straight through. 

“If it’s a loan you need I can give it to you, but I can also send you to the grave after your father if your finger itches towards that trigger anymore”.

“Billy!” you hear a voice of one of the regulators. The surrounding people gasp as another gun is brought out. 

“It’s alright. Harolds here just had too much to drink. Why don’t you take him back to his house and i’ll be by tomorrow to see if we can figure out a solution to his problem”. 

Harold must have chosen to drop the gun because you heard the shoving and shouting from Billy’s man and not the ricochet of a gun. 

The grip on your dress is released and Billy turns towards you placing his hands on your shoulders. 

“Are you okay?”. 

You shake him off, aware of the audience still staring at you. Billy follows your gaze around the crowd. 

“It’s alright everyone. Let’s get the music going again’’ 

Billy raises his hand to your arm once more but you are pushed away before it lands. Your father had come to your rescue quickly pushing you through the crowd. You look back at Billy. He doesn’t move. Just stares until you are out of sight. 

You don’t see Billy for the next week. His men did his collections. You only saw them around town, never him. You figure he was laying low after the wedding incident. 

Your days became dull again without the excitement of Billy. Your chores became chores again without the added threat of Billy laying in wait. 

Miss may be a strong word, but something felt off when he wasn’t around. You figure you had gotten so used to a state of anxiety that normalcy felt strange. 

He would return, you ensured yourself, just enjoy it while it lasts.  

On the tenth night of his absence from your life you think that maybe he had skipped town, and you would never see him again. The Regulators would need a new leader and you shudder thinking who it could be. 

You sleep with the thought of him on your mind. Who would protect the town if not him? Who would fill your days with excitement and wonder? You scold yourself for the latter thought. He was an outlaw. A villain. Blood soaked his hands.  He was a bad man. The leader of bad men. You sleep with hateful thoughts of the Regulators and their leader. 

You wake with the sound of your dog scratching at your door. Begging to be let out. The night was cold. Even with a large blanket and the windows shut, you shivered. 

You sigh as you get up, quickly looking for your robe. It would do little to keep the cold away but something was better than nothing. 

It was odd for your dog to wake to pee. It only happened when he was a pup and that was long ago. 

You follow him as he races down the steps, trying your best to be quiet so as not to wake your family. The dog is energetic, scratching at the main door. 

You ‘sh’ him as you open it. You’re greeted by a wave of freezing air.  

The dog ruined your plans of staying on the porch as he disappeared into the darkness forcing you to follow down. 

The cold grass sinks into your feet, the moisture soaking your soles. You could barely see your dog in the dark with his black fur. Only the sound of him peeing told you he was still there. 

You stretch as you wait, looking up at the night sky. Slowly rolling your head in a circle. In doing so, you could see a small flame in the distance. A candle still going just outside of your father's shed.

You go to blow it out before it catches anything on fire. Another odd occurrence. Your father rarely lit candles due to their cost. He was sure to blow it out before he finished. Still he is old like your dog. They are both slipping from their good habits and you would need to learn to be more gracious. 

You bend down and with one quick blow, the flame is gone. Rising once more, you decide it is time to return to bed and go to call your dog over. 

His name never gets off your lips. It’s sealed shut by a strong gloved hand pressed over your mouth, and the feeling of a cool barrel of a gun pressed into the side of your head. 

“Sh, sh, sh, be quiet”. 

Your gut dropped, you knew the smooth voice of Billy. With faith he wouldn’t hurt you, you try screaming into his hand. He shook you a bit but no harsh hand was used to silence you. 

“I said quiet”. 

You do. You once heard that he shot a man off his horse a mile away. Now with a gun pressed into your head you didn’t need too much persuading to do as he said. 

“We’re going on a little trip, you and I” he whispers in your ear. 

Where was your dog? You wondered. Why couldn’t he sense you were in danger and come save you. You were no match for Billy. 

“Okay?” he asks.  You nod in response. 

“Okay, move”. He keeps his hand across your mouth, and his gun buried in your back, using it to move you forward. 

It’s not too far before the sight of his horse is seen only thirty feet from your house. He releases you and halters his gun so he could cup his hands to help you onto the saddle. 

You look back at your house, not too far in the distance. If you ran could you make it? If you screamed could your family hear it?

“Come on, now. Don’t keep me waiting”. 

Deciding you couldn’t make it, you slot your foot into his hands, and he hoists you up to the saddle. He got up more easily, and with a swing of his leg he saddles up behind you, bringing the reins and his hands down upon your lap. 

“Where are we going?” You ask.

“It’s not far. Just some place I go to think”. 

The horse is ridden at a leisurely pace. The cold air attacks you, and you find yourself curling into Billy’s warmth. 

He doesn’t speak to you again but you could feel him trying his best to protect you from the cold wind. His body barricaded around you, trying to keep you warm. At one point when the wind blew especially hard, he planted his large warm hand over the side of your face and pressed the other side of your face into his chest.

With the amount of shock running through your body, you weren't sure if the ride was short like he promised. It felt like an entirety by his side. 

When you arrived at the camp, the fire was already going, and a tent was set up. 

He dismounts first and then reaches back up to help you down. 

“Why have you brought me here?”. You accept his help down, his horse wouldn’t go without him. 

“To talk. Some place where you can’t run away”.

His words should have carried more weight, but you knew they were said in a non-threatening manner. 

There was a log near the fire that you used as a seat while Billy remained across from you. 

“I’ve missed you these past few days. Been real lonely without you”. He kicks the dirt under his shoe and watches as it jumps from his force. 

“We were never friends, Billy”. 

Billy. The name seemed to have just fallen off your lips. 

The sound of his name gave him courage to look up at you.

“You’re right. You’re right. We skipped that stage”. 

His eyes go back down and he is silent once more. 

“Y/N, your daddy’s never going to approve of me”.

“No” you agree, “No, he’s not”. 

His eyes flick up back to yours, his stance hardens, his shoulders square and his eyes peer down at you.

“So. Where does that leave us?” he asks. 

A large gust of wind blows through the camp, straight through you. Your body hunches from the cold

“Are you cold?” he asks in a state of shock that he could ignore the obvious. He doesn’t wait for your response, gone into his tent before the question fully parted from his lips. 

He brings out a thick wool blanket, and wraps it around your shoulders before going back to his side of the fire.

He rubs his hand across the bottom of his face, his other hand positions on his hip. You wondered what he was thinking. Why he looked so worried when he was the one in the position of power? 

“Billy?” you asked softly. His eyes flicked from the ground up to you. “Billy, take me home”. 

“You know God told me that you were the woman for me’’.

“Did he?” you ask cautiously. 

“Years ago. I saw you in town, I said ‘God, if she’s the one make her drop her bracelet’. And you did”. 

He reaches into his vest pocket pulling out his pocket watch to show you the chain. He brought it over to you. In the light you could see that he had melted the gold of your bracelet to his small gold watch and fashioned it into his pocket watch that he carried daily. The ends of the bracelet were melded but the gold that was braided together looked identical to the bracelet you had lost.

 It was your bracelet. One you lost nearly three years ago. The clasp was broken, you shouldn’t have been wearing it but it was one of your favorites. 

“It’s just a coincidence. It doesn’t mean anything” you said. A broken bracelet was hardly uncommon for a woman who had little money to fix it. 

This seemed to anger him. His face scrunched up and his movement became rough and short. 

“Coincidence? Was it a coincidence tonight? I had a burning desire to see you and you just so happen to be outside waiting for me”.

“I wasn’t waiting for you”.

“Well something brought you outside to me. You don’t call that fate?”. 

“My dog”. Your eyes slowly weep as Billy the kid turns into Billy the outlaw. 

To run a group of outlaws. To kill men, and control a town, you knew he had to have a dark streak. No matter how well he hid it, there must be something lurking underneath to be able to exert the violence needed.

His hand flys to his forehead, rubbing it as if you were causing him a headache. 

“You ain't listening. Me and you. We’re connected. Meant to be”. 

“Okay” you agree. Unsure on what else to do. “Billy, I am really cold and would like to go home now”.

“Here” he comes closer to you, bending down and helping you to your feet. 

He picks up a lit lamp by the fire, and tries to lead you forward. 

“It’s warmer in the tent”.

Your heart jumps. Alone in a tent is the last place you want to be. 

Your arm jerks from his touch as you speak, “Take me home now”. 

His hands grip your arms too tight.

“Home? What if I gave you a new home? One where we could be together”.

The cold air no longer bothered you. Billy was the law. Whatever he did would be met with no consequences. 

“I’ve been thinking, if your daddy won’t approve no matter what. Maybe we shouldn’t ask him” he continued. 

You struggle against Billy. How quickly after all this time that his touch became hurtful.

“I need my father's blessing,” you state. 

“I was worried you would say that” he remarks. 

The force on your arms changed from holding you still to pushing you forward. 

“Billy get off” you shout. 

“You won’t listen to reason” he retaliates. 

The door of the tent wasn’t tied so you were easily pushed through the fabric. You fall onto the laid mattress with no strength to raise yourself while Billy does ties up the door to keep the cold air out.

“Billy” you cry. 

He lays down next to you, wrapping his arm around your back and up your neck. 

“Everything is fine. I’ll take care of you”.

“Billy, don’t do this,” you pleaded. 

“If I can’t make you see my love, I can make you feel it”. 

He rises to rid himself of his suspenders. You sit up on your legs in front of you, with no harsh hand pushing you back down.

You capture his head between your hands, only talking when there was no attempt to shake you off. 

“Billy, think about what this will mean for me”. 

His eyes feel cold as they graze upon you, “I am thinking about you. About us. He can’t deny the marriage if what is done is done”. 

Feeling his head push forward under your hold, you go to make one last plea before his lips meet yours. 

“Bil-”. His kiss is hard and possessive. 

His body soon follows, and the weight of him presses you to the floor. 

Shoving at his shoulders doesn’t do much to deter him. After a handful of hard kisses, he changes positions, straddling your waist so he could sit up and unbutton his shirt. 

His movements are quick and rugged like having to get rid of the clothes was an annoying chore. 

Despite his dangerous line of work, and the odds, his body is free from scars and bullet holes. His tone chest and strong shoulders flex as he moves to throw the shirt to the corner of the tent. 

You’re memorized by his beauty until his hands reach for his belt. Your hands spring up to stop him, only this does he resist. 

“It’s alright. It ain’t going to hurt” he places a hand on your chest to keep you down while he undid his holster’s belt buckle, “I told you I would never hurt you”.

With the leather belt free, he slides the gun in the holster up along the ground. 

The button of his pants only takes a twist of his wrist and he is left in his underwear on top of you. 

“Get off” you yell at him but he continues by dragging you up to where the pillows are laid. 

He positions one of the pillows directly under your head for your comfort as you kick, your head rises and falls into it. 

His hand loosening the front tie of your nightgown stills the fight you had. 

“Billy, wait” you request. 

“I have waited. Nearly three years”. The nightgown is pushed off from your shoulders, and pulled down the rest of your body. 

The shake of your body is attributed to many things, the cold air that swarmed you, the shame and fear of it all, the fact that it was your first time being bare to a man. Billy took it to mean the cold and adjusted the blankets so they were pressed up against the sides of your body. 

The hand on your chest left as you stopped moving and both hands were moved to unbutton your underpants. 

“I’ll take care of you. Don’t worry’’. 

He leans down to kiss you again as a distraction to get between your legs. He is there before you know it.

He brings his fingers up to his mouth, sucking on them. You wondered what he was doing before he brought them down to your sex. 

You try to tell him to stop but your brain couldn’t muster it. Only a gasp escapes your lips as you feel him enter you. 

Its uncomfortable at first and you squirm away from him

“Stay still. It’ll get better” he promises. 

In an attempt to aid the friction, he leans his head down, spitting into cunt.

The extra moisture does help your arousal. Soon you are wet enough for his fingers to sink into you. 

He takes them out, not wanting you to finish too early, and brings his fingers to his lips to suck off the moisture. 

His hand comes down next to your head as lifts himself up to take off his underwear. 

“Is it going to hurt?” you ask. There was no point in begging. You had reached the point of no return. 

“Maybe. For a little bit, but it will feel good too. I promise”. 

He lines himself up with you, and with a final kiss he plunges himself into you. 

It feels as if he hits a wall inside of you. You were certain it was as far as he could go but his hips hammered into you determined to break through. 

You were about to tell him that you had taken as much of him as you could take when he does break the wall. It was a searing pain as if he had cut you. You let out a tisk of pain, reaching up and clawing at the back of his neck with the hand that wasn’t intertwined with Billys’. 

‘Sorry. Sorry. I know” he says, but the rhythm of his hips remains the same. 

The pain subsided after a couple of thrusts that felt terribly uncomfortable and sore. It was replaced with the pleasure he promised you that built in your stomach, and tingles between your legs. 

Still, this was not how it was supposed to go. Not in a tent in the middle of the night. Not outside of marriage and not without your father permission.

You throw your head up from a particularly hard thrust, and notice his gun still in the holster just beyond your fingertips. Your head was too scattered to form any thoughts. Otherwise, you never would have reached for it. Even if Billy had been a stranger from the saloon, you could never kill a man. 

You had no intention of killing him. You had just wanted to touch it. The gun of Billy-the-kid. 

“What? What do you want my gun for?” As he leans up to reach for it and you feel his cock push up into your stomach. 

He brings it out of his holster with the barrel pointed at your head, but his finger is far from the trigger. 

“Don’t you know a man’s gun is part of him? You should ask a man before you touch it”.

The gun pushes further and down to your lips. Billy’s eyes were dark. The awkward boy that used to court you was buried in the furthest part of him.

“Open your mouth” he commands. 

With the taste of metal at your teeth, you do part your lips enough for the tip of the gun. A struggle could lead to an accidental misfire. 

His thrusts in time with the movement of the gun. His eyes focus on your lips, the way they curl around his barrel. 

The metallic taste overwhelmed your tongue and your nose. It felt as if you could still taste the smoke on it. You are slow in your movements so not to startle him as you pull your head back.  

His stomach flutters and he loses his composure as you do.  

“Fuck” he sputters, his eyes close and he picks up pace, “That was hot”. 

You shake your head, pushing the hand that held the gun away from you. 

He drops his wrist down from your face, and slides the gun back over to his holster in the corner. 

“It’s gone. It’s alright, it’s gone”. 

The hand is repurposed against the side of your face, and his rhythmic pace is returned. 

“I wouldn’t hurt you” he tells you once more. 

“You’re hurting me now” you groan. 

His face scrunches up, and his thrusts come to rest.

“No,” he says, offended. 

“No. That aint what I am doing”. 

His hands on the back of your shoulders lift you up against his chest, as he hoists your bodies together into an upright position. 

Your hands grip on top of his shoulders, and you rest your forehead against his collarbone from the pressure of him inside of you as you sit on his lap. 

“Look at me” he orders, but your position suited you just fine. 

You rock your head against his shoulder blade in response, which satisfied him. 

“The only way I would hurt you now is by leaving you. No man but those desperate or widowed would have you after I am done. Your family would never recover their name. Now I’ve made it clear that we are to get married, so no hurting is being done”. 

His fingers dig into your hips so hard that there was sure to be bruises littering the skin tomorrow. 

“Ain’t no sin for a husband and wife to become one”.

“We are not married,” you remind him. 

“What’s marriage but a commitment to God to have and to hold the other? I’ve made that commitment. You have too. I know you have. If it wasn’t for your daddy we’d be married a long time ago”.

“Billy” you groan. The lack of movement frustrated you. He had started an itch that now needed to be scratched. 

To ease your discomfort, he brought his hand down between your bodies and began to gently swirl his finger around your pearl. 

“I built you a house, you know. Told myself I couldn’t touch you until I drove the final nail in, and the day I do, you appear at the market a day earlier than you usually would. We’re connected. Every bad thing has led me here to you”.

Your nails dig into his flesh as the pressure builds in knots within your stomach. 

A frustrated sound makes its way from your throat when he suddenly stops, moving his hands around the back of your neck and around your waist so he could lay you down and finish. 

His pace is faster and harder. It cuts off his ability to talk any longer. Only groan and grunt. 

As you tighten around him and pulse as you come, it invites him to join you.

As soon as he is off you, you turn to your side away from him. What would happen now? Would Billy leave you here? Would he kick you out into the forest? You worried that he spoke of marriage out of lust that had now been fulfilled. 

He seemed content with your presence, as he reached out to gently scratch the back of your neck. 

You can hear animals outside the tent as they scurry around.  Billy regains his stamina beside you and the silence between you both stretches into the night. 

You focus on the sounds of the frogs and crickets as they perform in perfect harmony. The sounds and sex lull you to a tired state, but Billy wasn’t through with the night. 

With a small kiss to the back of your neck, he was pushing back on your shoulder to lay you flat again. 

“No” you protest, too tired for much more than a simple plea, “Not again”. 

It was late. Possibility early morning. Your body wanted nothing more than to shut down, now that the adrenaline has faded. 

“Yes. again. We gotta make sure we put a baby in you”, he states, positioning his body once again over yours. 

—--

You woke up alone in the tent. Two blankets were laid on top of you keeping off the cold, but the dull ache between your legs told you to get up and go back home. You found your clothes on the floor, noticing that Billy had taken all his.

The sight of Billy eating on a log relieves you as you exit the tent. You had no way of getting home without him. 

He gets up from his seat as he sees you push back the fabric of the tent. 

“Good morning” he greets, “How are you feeling?”

“I want to go home. Now”, you demand. 

He looked like a spoiled child getting told off by a parent. His head lowers, and he clasps his hands together in front of himself. 

“Yeah. We should be getting back” he agrees. 

His head rises again and he beckons your forward with his hand.

“You need to eat something before we do. I made porridge”. 

You take his place on the log in front of the fire and his jacket. Without a word, he takes his warm jacket off himself and helps you put it on. 

A bowl of warm porridge is placed in your hands, and then he leaves you be. Giving you space to process your emotions. 

He packs up the tent and gear while you sit, unable to eat what was given to you.

Even in all the time it took him to pack away the tent and all the camping equipment, you had yet to take a single bite.

You watch as Billy kicks dirt into the fire, smothering your warmth.  

The bowl is gently taken from your hands where Billy flicks the food away, and rinses it with his water bottle before packing it away.

You follow him to the horse and he helps you up on the saddle the same way as the night before. 

The swing of your leg as you try to hook it over the saddle is executing. 

You shout from the pain, feeling the mussels as they pull to extend your leg.

“Easy” he soothes, helping you back steady on your feet. 

You shove him off. It was his fault. Your body was in pain and your life was over because of him.

He stubbles back from the sudden shove but he comes back without reproach. 

“Here” he says. 

He swings up to the saddle, leaning his body down to pull you up. You sit across the horse’s saddle, legs together to ease the pain.

Billy rides slowly for you. The day was sunny but a chill still hung in the air. You wondered how Billy went on without his jacket. 

The ride took you through trees and along a stream of water. It was not far from your home but you had never been there.

With a twenty minute ride your home came into view. While distant you could see your family as they gathered on the porch. 

The galloping of the hoofs stopped their discussion with a loud relief. 

“She’s here!” your sister yelled back into the house, “She’s back”.

Your father runs outside to the porch watching with hard eyes as you and Billy ride. 

Billy halts his horse a meter away and slides you down the saddle onto the ground. He is quick to get off behind you, holding your reluctant hand in his. 

You saw your father disappear into the house as you crossed the distance. He wasn’t a fool. He knew what Billy had done. The shame must have been too overbearing for him. 

The rest of your family were all still in their robes as they stood on the path waiting for you to come near. Your mother held out her arms but Billy stopped ten feet away under the shade of the large oak tree. 

“Ma’am” he greets your mother, “I am sorry for the distress I have caused your family, but as you can see she was safe with me”. 

The stickiness between your thighs became apparent as he spoke the words. 

You tug your hand back but he keeps it in his tight hold. 

The front door is kicked open and your father appears holding out his shotgun. 

Billy is quick to act, pulling you back behind him but he doesn’t draw his gun. 

“You get off my land” your father demands. 

Billy nods, “I will. We just came to collect a couple of things”. 

Your breath hitched in your throat. Your father was not a very good shot. He was old and aim was crooked. Billy was a far better shot. He wouldn’t miss. 

“Ain’t no we, boy. You get your filthy hands off my daughter, and you get out of town, or I'll kill you”.

Your mother growls her husband's name as she moves the rest of her children to the side. Only your father was under the illusion that he could take Billy on and live. 

“Now I plan to do right by her” Billy states with authority, “I’ll marry her”.

“The hell you will” your father roared. 

“It doesn’t have to end like this. You could live. See your daughters married with children. Die of old age like God intended”. 

“Draw” your father commands. To kill an unarmed man was murder, but your father was worried about the courts and not the Regulators who were sure to come seeking vengeance. 

You latch onto Billy's arm to stop him drawing his gun, or at least delay his aim so your father could have a chance. 

“You won’t mind if I get your daughter out from under me, now?” Billy asks, “Your aim has been off since you first pointed the gun at me. You could hit her instead”. 

With the agreeance of your father, Billy brings you back from behind him with a tight hold on your arm. 

“Go to the tree” Billy nods in its direction but you could hear your father calling for you to come to him. 

As soon as he releases you, the direction you go is not to the tree but to your family. 

You arm is caught and shoved to the right,

 ‘I said the tree” Billy reiterates. 

You follow his command this time, hugging yourself to the large oak tree. 

Billy takes his gun but holds his hands outwards in a surrendered position. 

“Just let me show you something” The crowd follows Billy’s eyes over to the work yard,  “You see that paint tin over there?”

A small paint tin rested on the lank of wood that was going to become the new fence. If you weren’t looking for it you would hardly see it from the distance. 

“What about it?” your father asks. The gun is unstable in his hands. It slightly bopped as he pointed it.  He was scared, and you wished you could do something that would deescalate the situation. 

“Just watch”. Billy turns to the tins direction and aims his gun with a steady hold. 

The first bullet sprayed the white paint as it went flying in the air. The second bullet hit it before it landed, flinging it further away and higher from the force. The third bullet shot it down with a hole in the center.

“Now we can continue if you want, and I can take her away without a father, or we can be joined together by marriage. That means no taxes”. 

Your father contemplates his options. He wanted to kill Billy, you could see that plain on his face, but could he?. 

The answer was no. The gun was lowered and your mother let out a sigh of relief. 

Billy beckons you back over, taking your arm back in his grip once you get close enough. 

“Pack your things, and get changed” he commands, “If you think about holding up in there, I’ll bring Jesse back and we’ll burn the house down”. 

You nod spitefully. His eyes looked over you once before turning back to the house. 

“Go” he orders, letting you go. 

Your family is quick to squabble around you as you trek into the house. There were too many words flown at you.Too many hands touching you as you moved. 

Only your father stayed away, Slumping into a foyer chair with his gun still in his hand. 

You were determined to do your tasks quickly and lead Billy away. The ache between your legs was ignored as you fling open your wardrobe and shove what you can into your travel case. It filled quickly, you only had two more dresses in your wardrobe but you left them favoring to take your make-up and hair accessories. 

It hardly zips, and lands on the ground with a heavy thud. 

You weren’t sure how long it had taken you, but the less time keeping Billy waiting the better. You grab one of the last dresses you owed out of your wardrobe, side stepping people as they went to hold you. 

“Help me with my dress” you call on your sister. 

“You aren’t honestly leaving with him?” your mother took a seat on your bed as if you had punched her. 

Stepping into the green dress and waiting to be laced up, gave them the answer that they ignored. 

“Billy is the law,” you remind them. 

Your sister silently agreed by stepping forwarding and lacing you into your dress. You put Billy’s coat back on to show him you still had it, and take the time to hug and kiss them all. Billy was not the kind to keep you from your family but it would be the last time you would see them as their daughter and sister. 

Your father was still sitting in the chair as you came down. He doesn't move as you bend down and kiss his forehead. 

Billy was waiting outside, his gun resting on his thigh was holsted once more in his belt so he had hands to take your bag. 

He straps it to his horse in no time, turning to wait for you. 

You took one more look back at your family on the porch before you were ready. 

You raise your arms up to Billy on the horse and he pulls you up to the saddle once more. 

The ride to the Regulators camp was silent and quite a distance. Billy had taken his hat off as the sun went higher in the sky, and placed it upon your head. 

It felt strange to wear Billy’s coat and hat. Less than 24 hours ago he was little more than a stranger. Now he was your self-proclaimed fiance. You could very well be carrying his child. It all happened so fast. Your head spun trying to piece together the facts.

The noise of the Regulators as Billy’s horse approached did not help your scrambled mind. They whooped and hollered. 

You could hear Billy’s smile as he greeted them but his horse never slowed. Moving past the building where the men sat drinking, to the furthest field where a wooden house stood tall. 

Across from the house was a horse corral where they trained the horses. In between your house and the first house of one of the Regulators was the stable where the horses were housed. 

In addition to the tax, you assumed the men also traded horses to earn a wage. 

It was a decent size of land and well kept. The house in front of you looked strong. It was two stories of wooden panels, and a large porch was wrapped around the entire estate. If you were to take Billy at his word, it must have taken him a long time to complete such a house.

He stops the horse in front of the house, swinging off first to tie the reins to the railings of the porch. 

He assures you that he will take your things inside when he comes back out to tend to his horse, but he was eager for you to see your new home. 

With help down, Billy leads you into the house. It was furnished. Nothing decorative but tables and chairs. The entertaining lounge had a large fireplace, and the kitchen had a large stove and a large window above the sink that pointed out to a field of flowers. 

It grew a distaste in your mouth. He had designed this home with you in mind. He always knew this day was coming and expected you to swallow the news joyfully and quickly. 

‘And this” he opens a door just beside the living room to show a smaller version. A dark red armchair and matching leg rest faced a small fireplace. An arched window that Billy had built in a reading nook and decorated with mismatched pillows, provided light into the room. 

“This is your room for when you need your space. I won’t step foot into it”. He looks at you expecting you to be overjoyed but finds you glaring back at him. 

“Do you like it?” he asks. 

‘I have your cum dried between my legs, and you are asking me if I care about a room?” you bit. 

He closes the door quickly and takes you by the arm to lead you up stairs, 

“I’ll get you hot water for your bath”. 

Billy boils the water over the stove as you sit in the chair and wait. A hip bath was placed against the wall in the kitchen. You go and expect it. Your family was too poor for one. A basin did the job fine. But you always wanted one. 

He doesn’t let the water get too hot, only luke warm before joining you. 

“Do you mind if I stay?” he questions as he gently places the water and rag cloths on the floor by your foot.

You don’t look at him as you talk. Your fingers reach for the laces of your dress but they touch his as he unlaces the dress for you. 

“What does it matter? The sin has already been committed”.

Your dress falls to the floor around you. You’re quick to leave your undergarments alongside it so you could climb into the tub. 

“You need to know I won’t ever do that again”. He squats next to you in the tub, bringing the warm rags up to your skin. You take one and focus on scrubbing the seaman off your thighs while he focuses on your shoulders and neck. 

“I’ll take care of you. Respect you like a good husband should. I won-”. 

“Your words mean nothing to me” you cut him off. 

He shifts as you lean back into the tub.

‘I’ll prove it to you”, he resolves. 

—-

The wedding was small with only your family and the Regulators in attendance. The priest married you quickly and you were placed on Billy’s saddle once more. No big party predeceased it. Your family went home, and the Regulators went back to their camp where bottles were opened. 

You could hear the Regulators as they used your marriage as an excuse to play from the comfort of the house Billy built you. 

He remained with you despite the protests from his gang. 

He remained quiet as you figured out the swell of emotions inside you. Anger. Sadness. Confusion. A quiet relief lingered in the back only causing more distress.  

When he bought you the dinner he had made for you an emotion finally stuck. 

Acceptance. 

William. H Bonney was your husband now. 

He kept true to his words. Patiently waiting for your permission. You slept next to him every night, but besides a gentle kiss goodnight, he never touched you. His patience granted him two willfully-born sons. 

He was a good husband and father. 

You and your children were never left without. 

You watch him from the window as he shows the boys how to ride. They were too small for the lesson to be anything more than a pony ride but it gave you time to put dinner on the table without them under your feet. 

He winks at you when he catches you staring. Unconsciously your hand goes to your belly. 

‘A little girl would be nice’, you think.