#where the aro MC sets up her two friends

[aroacechillzone]

pros of writing fanfic with aro themes: spreading the aromantic swag agenda, connecting with other aros in the fandom

cons of writing fanfic with aro themes: sometimes allos miss the entire point and comment the weirdest shit ever

[words-after-midnight]

Relationship History Tag Game

I was tagged in this a while back by @ceph-the-ghost-writer, sorry this took so long to answer lmao. This was fun!

I'll tag @angelsofprey, @frostedlemonwriter, @calicojackofficial, @sunset-a-story, @arijensineink, @minutiaewriter, and whoever else wants to do this. :)

Rules: briefly (or not) describe what kinds of intimate relationships (platonic, romantic, sexual, or otherwise) your MCs have had PRIOR TO THE BOOK STARTING. Have they had their hearts ripped out before jumping into your fluffy romance? Are they aro/ace and have never been in a long-term relationship before?

I did this for Life in Black and White's protagonist, antagonist, and two of their friends who are major supporting characters. Putting it under a cut for length. (cws just in case: brief mentions of abusive parents, family estrangement, and international adoption)

Gabriel (age 17 at chronological beginning of narrative): Fraught, emotionally distant relationships with his father and stepmother. He has a second mother figure (not blood family) who he considers himself close to. Has a sister two years younger, with whom he maintains a friendly relationship, but I wouldn't call them close.

No prior romantic or sexual relationships. He has a best friend of almost two years with whom he's very close at the onset of the story, and has recently befriended Daphne, a girl in his therapy group. He's recently out of high school, where he had school "friends" (more like acquaintances imo) and was by no means a loner, but he's very guarded and has trouble making and maintaining emotionally close relationships. He's either very attached to you or he keeps you at arm's length, and there's usually no in between. At the onset of the story, he knows the antagonist, but they're not friends (Gabriel actually can't stand him).

Jeff (age 17 - almost 18 - at chronological beginning of narrative): Has existing family relationships in both his hometown and in the city the story is primarily set in, but I won't elaborate on that. He's either estranged from or not close with any of his family members. Socially, he's very popular, well-known around town and in neighboring areas, and has a lot of casual friends/acquaintances/FWBs/people he hits up for various purposes. Doesn't do romantic relationships (other than casual dating and very short-term flings), but became sexually active very young and has had multiple short-term and recurring sexual partners over the years. He's usually assumed to be older than he is, and most of his social circle is consistently at least 2-3 years older than him as a result. At the onset of the story, he already knows Gabriel and Daphne; he's friends with Daphne, and they run in more or less the same social circles. He only runs into Gabriel briefly and in specific situations, but finds Gabriel's dislike of him hilarious and loves to push his buttons when he gets the opportunity to do so.

Jenna (age 19 at chronological beginning of narrative): Gabriel's best friend at the onset of the story. Has abusive parents and an older brother who's in and out of jail and rehab. Romantically, she's what you might call a serial monogamist. Prior to the story, and for a long period throughout, she's the type of person who typically isn't single very long between relationships, and will actively seek a new one out soon after one ends. Doesn't personally know Jeff and Daphne, other than just knowing who they are and having spoken to Daphne briefly on a couple of occasions. Has a few other good friends from her school days, whom Gabriel knows peripherally.

Daphne (age 20 at chronological beginning of narrative): Internationally adopted only child, doesn't know her biological family. Her adoptive mother is the only immediate family member still in her life (father is in prison), but she has mostly strained relationships with extended family members. At the onset of the story, she hasn't been particularly interested in dating or romantic relationships for the last few years (a combination of trauma-related circumstances and needing time to deal with the loss of an intense relationship). Friends with both Gabriel and Jeff (separately), but closer to Jeff at the onset of the story as they run in the same social circles. She knows of Jenna, but doesn't personally know her. Daphne is generally well-liked and has many friends, but relatively few she would consider close.

[rainwindandstars]

Queer Book Recommendations part 2!

Here’s the promised second part of my book recommendations! This time we have mostly fantasy books! I’ve included a short summary for each book, along with what I liked most and who I think would enjoy a book the most, and of course which kind of representation there is, though I’ve probably forgotten some. And this time there are even covers, because they are gorgeous :) The books are in no particular order. Some of the authors have tumblrs, I’ve added those I know of as well in case you want to follow them. That said, have fun reading!

(Link to part 1)

Baker Thief by Claudie Arseneault (Fantasy)

This is a cute fantasy heist/detective book about a thief, Claire, (who is also the baker Claude by day) and a detective, Adèle having to work together to find and save the city’s magical people who are used as a power source by a scrupulous company. Friendship and found family are important themes in this book, and it has a French-inspired setting which I found refreshing! Read this if you like baking puns and want to read a queerplatonic spin on the enemies-to-lovers trope!

Rep:  Claire is allo aro and genderfluid, Adèle biromantic demisexual. Claire is also fat, and it’s treated respectfully and positively. Other rep includes non-English neopronouns, disabled characters and a queerplatonic relationship!

Not Your Sidekick (Sidekick Squad) by C.B. Lee ( @authorcblee) (YA fantasy)

This is the first book in a YA series about a group of teens living in a (somewhat dystopian) town where superheroes are a part of daily life. This one is mainly about Jess, the daughter of two superheroes, who accidentally starts an internship at her parents’ nemesis company- though she also gets to work with her crush, Abby, there. And she soon discovers that there is more to the superhero and supervillain system than she thought. The following books are also really good! Read this if you like teenage superheros having adventures! 

Rep: Jess is bi, Vietnamese and Chinese, and her friends include a Black trans boy and a latina a-spec girl. They are the main characters of the following books. 

Chameleon Moon by RoAnna Sylver ( @thesylverlining) (Fantasy)

This book takes place in the city of Parole, whose inhabitants have a wide variety of superpowers. It is cut off from the outside world, burning and falling apart, and also under constant surveillance. I don’t usually like books with dystopian/grim settings, so I put off reading this for a long time, even though I heard a lot of praise for it. But despite the setting it’s actually really hopeful and uplifting. The plot centers around how the characters are resisting, not giving up and most importantly sticking together. They are all super interesting, diverse and often very relatable. Read this if you want to read a really well written, character focused book! 

There’s a second book set around a group of characters outside Parole (but with connections to the characters in book one) where we learn more about what’s going on in the rest of the world. There’s also a bunch of short stories!

Also: All books by RoAnna Sylver are currently (June 2021) free on their itch.io! 

Rep: Lots! Polyamory and QPRs, ace, aro, sapphic, gay, bi, transfem, transmasc and nonbinary characters, and also several disabled characters. Notably, one of the MCs has anxiety and panic attacks and it’s incredibly realistically written. 

Stake Sauce  Arc 1: The Secret Ingredient Is Love. No, Really by RoAnna Sylver (Urban fantasy)

This is a paranormal fantasy- we follow a group of former firefighters who try to live their life five years after a traumatic  work accident killed one of their friends/one character’s fiancé and nearly killed and left one of them, Jude, disabled. But Jude is convinced that it wasn’t just an unlucky accident, he knows he saw a vampire attack and kill their friend. And he is determined to never let anything like that happen again, and tries to be a vampire hunter. Tries, because he still hasn’t found any vampires. But things get complicated when he meets Pixie- a young, cute vampire who doesn’t want to bite anyone and is nothing like the monsters Jude is hunting. I love this book, and the second one a lot! The way the characters deal with grief and trauma, how they can strain relationships even with people who are very close is written very sensitive and realistic while still being optimistically written. Read this if you want friendship and found family as major themes!

There’s also a second book and a short story collection which is usually patreon-exclusive but is currently free on itch.io!

Rep: Jude is an autistic, grey aroace trans man, has PTSD and is an amputee. various flavours of queer (nonbinary, wlw, mlm, some polyamory, a-spec) and neurodivergent.

The Black Tides of Heaven (Tensorate) by J.Y. Yang (Fantasy)

This is a Asian-inspired Fantasy revolving around Akeha and Mokoya, the twin children of the Protector, the ruler of their country and their struggle to find and keep their agency while their mother wants to use them in her political schemes- especially Mokoya, who has prophetic powers. The worldbuilding here is fantastic, though most things are only hinted at and not described extensively (it’s a fairly short book). Gender identity is one important topic- children in this world don’t have a gender assigned at birth but get to choose their gender when they grow up, something Akeha struggles with a lot. Other important themes are familial relationships, especially between siblings and different ways of rebellion against an absolutist ruler. Read this if you like magical siblings!

Book one of the Tensorate series follows mostly Akeha, while book two follows Mokoya. Books three and four follow other characters and have an unusual writing style, being written as a journal and an extended monologue respectively.  

Rep: All children are presumed nonbinary, and choosing a gender that doesn’t fit your birth sex and transitioning are treated as completely normal, so while there are characters that would be trans in our world, it’s qiite different in this world. There are all kinds of queer relationships, including some polyamory!

The Queen of Cups by Ren Basel ( @renniequeer) (Fantasy)

This is a short fantasy novellette about Theo, a young captain who goes to the mysterious Oracle, an ageless woman living on the beach, to have their fortune told and to get a blessing for their ship before their first voyage and the adventure of this first voyage. The story is short enough that writing more about the plot would spoil too much, so I’ll leave it at that. Even though it’s really short, this story has interesting worldbuilding and is beautifully written. Read this if you want a heartwarming and exciting little story!

Rep: Theo is nonbinary and autistic (with synesthesia!) and is in a QPR with a trans woman. There are lots of queer minor characters.

The Raven Tower by Ann Leckie ( @annleckie​) (Fantasy)

This book follows two storylines- the first one is about a troubled kingdom whose patron god is weakening as the throne has been taken by an usurper. Eolo, a young trans man is trying to help the true ruler reclaim his kingdom and discovers an important secret. This storyline has lots of political intrigue, drama and suspense. The second storyline begins in the far past, and recounts the life of an ancient rock deity who is also the narrator. This storyline deals more with concepts, like religion and mythology, language and imagination, with some very interesting ideas. I liked how the gods aren’t just superpowered humans, but powerful, truly inhuman beings (there’s a god who is a swarm of mosquitos!). Read this if you like nonhuman narrators and lots of flashbacks! 

Rep: Eolo is a trans man, and I think most characters are POC.

The Four Profound Weaves by R.B. Lemberg (Fantasy)

This fantasy novella is set in the Birdverse and centers around two trans elders- Uiziya, a trans woman who transitioned years ago and has always been accepted by her people, and a nameless trans man who only transitioned very recently and struggles a lot with the rigid gender roles of his people. Together they go on a journey to seek out Uiziya’s aunt, so she can teach Uiziya how to weave from death, something Uiziya has waited for for decades. The language here is very lyrical and evocative, and the story is mystical and deep. And while it is quite dark at times, overall it’s still a hopeful book. The desert setting is also really cool! I especially loved the perspective of the nameless man, who could finally transition and now struggles both with the people who still see him as a woman, and the people who accept him but expect him to now fit in with the other men- which he doesn’t. I think this perspective is something that’s sorely lacking in most other books with trans narratives. Read this if you want interesting magic with older trans people!

There are also a bunch of short stories in the Birdverse, so check them out if you want to read something shorter by the same author!

Rep: Uiziya is also fat and dark skinned, there’s also some polyamory, sapphic characters and a nonbinary autistic child.

Lifelode by Jo Walton (Fantasy)

Lifelode is a pastoral fantasy, set in a small village where polyamory is the norm (families are usually two women and two men and all their children). The central story is mostly about the daily life of one family, while the larger plot is only in the background. This book also has really interesting worldbuilding- time passes differently in different places, and one character can see people’s past and future. The beginning of the book can be a bit difficult to understand because of this but it’s really worth it to stick with it! Read this if you like cottage core and polyamory!

Rep: Polyamory, and one minor f/f relationship.

The Trans Space Octopus Congregation by Bogi Takács (Fantasy/Sci-Fi)

This is a short story collection, and the title accurately shows how weird and queer these stories are. They have widely varying topics, both fantasy and science fiction- sentient octopuses, resistance against alien invasion, a failing memory archive… Frequent themes are nonsexual kink, Jewish faith, community, disability and, well, all forms of queerness. Read this if you want unconventional queer short stories!

If you enjoy weird queer poetry, Bogi has also published a collection of eir poems, called Algorithmic Shapshifting 

Rep: too much to list, but nonbinary and Jewish people the most.

[gb-patch]

Ask Answers: March 30th, 2021- Part 1

We’ve been really focused on getting the Step 3 DLC done and keeping up with asks kind of got away from me, aha. Thank you for waiting for a reply! We’re still definitely behind, but here’s a good chunk of responses!

I love Our Life so much but if the release of the step 3 dlc is in April, please don't "release" it on April 1, my poor heart can't take that prank 😭

Don’t worry! I’m horrible at pranks, haha. When we do post something specifically for April Fool’s it’s always to pretend it’s a joke when in reality it’s something we’re actually planning to do. But we don’t have anything like that arranged for this year. Any posts on April 1st will just be like normal.

Omigod, can you end the game in love with Cove but not in a relationship? My character stayed calm at the restaurant and Cove slept over at her home and I think I may have missed it. I'm delirious if I did, may never stop laughing. The children are idiots 

Haha, yes, it is possible to be in love and still not get into an actual relationship. There’s no forced ending where the two are made to confess their feelings and accept, it’s all optional/avoidable.

How can you see the new main character cut-in images? I'm not trying to be rude, but, all of my playthroughs, but I haven't seen them yet. (I know you can go through an entire game without seeing them, but I have went through multiple games.) 

It’s a bit of a spoiler to say here, but you can check out the guide we posted on Steam HERE!

Is it possible to win first place in the library quiz with Lizzy (Step 1 DLC) 

Yep, it is! Someone made a guide for the answers HERE (it’s also on Steam). We probably shouldn’t have required a perfect score to win a children quiz, but oh well, haha.

Hello!

In the future (in step 4) can you marry Cove even if you are friends? I would love to have a platonic wedding with him!

I’m afraid not. As much as he cares for the MC when they’re besties, Cove would only really want an official marriage if it’s based on romance.

Hello! I bumped into Our Life randomly last month, and it is one of the best coincidences I have ever laid on. I love how the choices and little details in the story changes throughout the game, and I'm excited to keep supporting you! I'm absolutely in love with Cove and would like to ask what keeps him to be especially interested in the MC? Other than how you can choose what fondness level you have with him, what ultimately leads him to be in sync with us? Sorry if it's a little much & thank u! 

Cove likes the MC because, regardless of the different personality traits you can give the MC, they meet him on his level, listen to him, understand him (even if you’re indifferent and not really close the MC still gets where he’s coming from), and if you’re fond/crush/love than you’re there for him. He finds the MC someone he can respect, trust, and, if they’re close, feel safe with. I’m glad you enjoyed the game!

hi there! for xoxo droplets i see the that female pronouns are used in the description, in the actual game can you change the pronouns or are they stuck as female? i'm aware the game is free, but i have a bad habit of buying dlc's before playing the game so it would be helpful to know before i spend money on it. if anything i'll save that money for more our life dlcs when they come out :D

XOXO Droplets does have a set MC. It’s the story of a specific person rather than a game about making your own story. All of our games prior to Our Life were about exploring MCs that were fully fleshed out people in their own right, so you can’t get the OL experience from what we did before. But we do plan to do more custom-style MCs going forward from here!

For the our life nsfw dlc, will you have to be in the patron to have it or  will there be another way for people who really support the game but can't pay to get it? 

I’m afraid not. We might put it up for sale somewhere other than Patreon someday (though never on Steam or Itch) since we know not everyone can use that site, but it will still cost money on any other hosting page we use. It’s unfortunately not a piece of content we can give away for free.

Hello! I finally got to play Xoxo Blood Droplets and it mentioned about a DLC coming out soon. Is it already out or are you still planning it?

We are still planning to finish it when we can, we just had to put it on hold because 2020 was a tough year and we needed to put all our focus on Our Life. There’s some of the extra DLC stories available for beta testing on the Patreon.

Is there a link to the soundtrack for Xoxo Blood Droplets? I really like the music in this game! 

That’s not available yet, but we’ll probably put it up for sale once the rest of the stories are done.

Would there be any chance for XOXO Droplets OSTs to be released in the future? (Please take my money-) 

We might! There are some things we wanna do and fix before we really start advertising XOXO Droplets things again, but hopefully it all comes together.

Why does Cove dislike Shiloh so much despite all of Shiloh's efforts to get along? I can understand his dislike for Lizzie, but why Shiloh? 

They met under bad terms (with an arranged play date he had no choice in), Shiloh’s sort of pushy himself when it comes to trying to get along, and Cove thinks he’s just kind of unusual in how he interacts/reacts with people. They don’t click, basically.

Is there a way to have your character be a tsundere? And have Cove toughened up a bit due to that? Sorry if the is a stupid question! ^^;

Maybe? The options in the game aren’t based on those types of personality tropes and I don’t know them well enough to say if you can accurately find a way to make it work with the available options. But it’s not a stupid question, I’m sure plenty of other people have considered something similar c:

do voiced names work only with their exact spelling? cause my mc is called Sophia and one of the voiced names is Soffia so i was wondering but if only works like that it's fine (sorry if i made any mistakes, english isn't my first language) 

“Voice” and “text” are separate! You can pick the “voice” you want and then type in whatever “text” you prefer. And your English is really good.

Will OL:NF be based on a season/break like the first game? Or some other type of setting? 

Our Life: Now & Forever takes place over the full course of Autumn. So, the start of school and then into the fall holiday season type of time period.

Will we ever see a jealous cove😭😭 please im begging u- 

Only in small ways, really. Sadly, I’m just not someone who enjoys jealousy in stories and therefore I don’t know how to implement it in a way that feels enjoyable. Maybe I’ll figure out a angle I can work with in future projects.

Do you have any plans with Our Life once step 4 has been released along with step 3's DLCs? 

After the Step 3 DLCs and Step 4 we’ll be releasing the Cove wedding DLC, the Derek romance DLC, and then the Baxter romance DLC. The project will likely be considered fully complete at that point.

Hello, I just needed to first of all sat how amazed I was when I discovered this game. I thought I would be disappointed by the lack of love interests, but you worked so hard to make sure Cove is the Best Boy for so many different people!! It really has been my comfort game for a while now, and I think all the different choices you allow make it the best romance game I’ve played in my life. The only problem is now my expectations for love are Cove level, and no one can live up to that. You’ve put so much consideration to make this game super inclusive and I think it’s amazing. If I can ask, for the exclusive NSFW Patreon dlc, will it only be available for the month it comes out? Or could I become a patron months later and still be able to download it. I just don’t have a job right now otherwise I would LOVE to subscribe to your Patreon and definitely will once I have the money again!! Thank you so so much for making such a lovely game that’s brought me so much joy.

&

Hiya! I'm so sorry for sounding like a complete degenerate for asking, but will the nsfw moment on patreon still be available even if i'm not a patron of the month it comes out? (e.g. i didnt pay/join the necessary tier before the moment is released) Thank you for your hard work on OL, I really connected with Cove in a way I never anticipated.

Thank you very much for such kind words! The Patreon DLC will be up for download on the Patreon indefinitely once it’s done. Just like the normal DLCs, you can pay to get it whenever you like but it won’t be up for sale until it’s finished. So take all the time you need.

Sorry to bother you guys, but there was an earlier ask detailing the OL LI's love languages and I was just wondering- Would that be for them personally, as in what they do, or the love language they enjoy receiving the most? Because I know for some people it's different for both on giving and receiving and was a bit confused, haha. Sorry for the trouble, your games are really nice!

For Cove and Derek it’s what they like to receive and what they give. For Baxter, it’s what he likes to get. What he gives is tailored to his partner. He’s flexible that way~ And it’s no trouble.

asking (and also fanning... fanboying? fangirling? fanpersoning? screw it- from a distance) anonymously because my confidence is nonexistent.

will you be doing a kickstarter for our life: now and forever? i know it's probably been asked and mentioned before, but will you be doing a kickstarter akin to the one done for our life: beginnings and always? if so, will you be doing similar tier rewards? (if you guys do so, i will [politely] throw my money at you).

now, to the fan.. personing? FAN. uhm. to the part where this anonymous agender idiot will begin to act as the fan they are.

THE GAME IS SO. SO NICE. IT'S CUSTOMIZABLE. I'M REALLY HAPPY ABOUT THAT PART. AAAAA I ALSO ENJOY THAT YOU GAVE US THE OPTION TO JUST STAY BEST FRIENDS OR SOMETHING A8DBAIHEW- AND YOU INCLUDED AROS AND ACES IN THAT SEXUALITY CHOOSING PART- aaaAAA AND YOU MADE ELIZABETH FILIPINO- THANK YOU SO SO MUCH FOR CREATING SUCH AN INCLUSIVE GAME!!!

to summarize; will you be doing a kickstarter? and thank you for creating such a nice game. i, and likely the majority if not all of those who have played the game, am thankful.

Aw, thanks <3! I’m so happy it was such a nice experience for you. We are planning on having a Kickstarter for Our Life: Now & Forever. It’ll have similar rewards to the Our Life: O&A Kickstarter, but some changes will have to be made. Like, we’ll definitely need to increase the rate for getting a voiced name. Originally it was $3USD, which was super low for how much work it really took to add in a customized piece of voice acting, aha. Live and learn.

So sorry if you've already answered this, I looked but I couldn't find anything. Is the 18+ DLC coming out alongside the Step 3 DLC, or do they have different development timelines entirely? I'm so excited for all the DLC coming out in the future, and even though the release dates aren't out, I'm already counting down the days. :)

They have different development times and will come out separately. Despite taking place in the same Step period, they’re disconnected pieces of content and making progress on one doesn’t mean the other is closer to being finished. The normal Step 3 DLC is releasing first. It’s great to hear you’re looking forward to them!

Hey!! I'm absolutely LOVING Our Life! I have been pondering on one question though, what's Cove's ethnicity, if there is a set one? Or is it something we can Headcanon? 

&

hi hi! i wanted to say first of all that i absolutely adore our life. it's one of my favourite games of 2020, and i think it was just the perfect dose of positivity we all needed, even if you didn't intend to release it during such a hectic year lol! secondly, i wanted to say: if it's alright to ask, what ethnicity is cove? :-0 and what about his parents? i was just curious about it ^^)/ thank you!!

Cove’s mom, Kyra, is white. But his dad’s, Cliff’s, race doesn’t come up and players are able to headcanon it. So Cove is half white and half whatever you prefer Cliff to be! 

hello! there was a post on the patreon where you can run your fingers down cove's chest in errands - how do you get that scene? ��� 

That was an old mistake on my part- you can only get that scene in the Ending rather Errands. You have to leave the big family dinner at the restaurant to go into the car, be dating Cove for a while, have Cove come see you there, and then mention using your hands when Cove makes a joke about hands.

in baxter’s dlc, is there any point where you can tell him about the previous renters of the condo? 

You can talk to him about that in the normal Step 3 DLC!

—– —– —– —–

Thank you for all the interest in our games everybody :D

We released a new FAQ! It answers common questions and we’ll keep adding more to it. Please check there before sending an ask. FAQ   Also, if you prefer to just see the main posts without all the asks/reblogs, feel free to follow our side account instead: GB Patch Updates Blog

[tragedytells-tales]

The OCs

Welcome to RAD! We hope you enjoy your stay and get along with your class mates!

- Daivolo

Hydra ( College division )

Pronouns: they/them

Race: Ancient Beast - Dragon ( Several headed hydra )

Sexuality: who knows.

Relationships: Friends with all of purgatory hall, Mul, and Ifol, youngest sibling to Hysteria and Ezra

Fav song: Here - Alissa cara

Likes: Cooking , music , and swimming

Dislikes: Crowds , Heat

Tag: [ ⚔️ ] oc : Hydra

Hysteria ( College division )

Pronouns: She/her

Race: Demon of Wrath

Sexuality: Pan

Relationships: Middle sibling to Ezra and Hydra, friends with Asmodeus and Aster.

Fav song: Two faced - Jake Daniels

Likes: Climbing , necromancy , and lakes

Dislikes: MC , bright lights

Tag: [ 🍸 ] oc : Hysteria

Ezra ( College division )

Pronouns: He/him

Race: Demon of Lust/Envy

Sexuality: Bi

Relationships: Eldest sibling to Hysteria and Hydra, Friends with Satan, Solomon, and astaroth.

Fav song: White Winter Hymnal - Pentatonix

Likes: History, forests, and classical music

Dislikes: Cold, Bitter teas

Tag: [ 🌪 ] oc : Ezra

Rhinum ( Student councilor )

Pronouns: They/he/she

Race: Demon / Avatar of Judgment

Sexuality: Aro/ace

Relationships: New to the devildom, close friends with Barbatos, friends with the seven brothers, friends with Solomon

Fav song: Where We Started - Lost Sky ( feat. Jex )

Likes: Gardening, flowers, reading

Dislikes: [ Redacted ]

Tag: [ 🕯 ] oc : Rhinum

Ariquel ( Collage division )

Pronouns: he/him

Race: Angel / Diligence

Sexuality: Demi-AroAce

Relationships: Dating Simeon, older brother figure to Luke, a nuisance ( affectionate )

[ Bardic in-separate-tion : "a snobby rich kid" - Zangra, "A wanna be mama's boy" - Ajay, enemies to friends with Ajay and Zangra, new friends with Asmo ]

Fav song: Soldier, poet, king - The Oh Hellos

Likes: Singing, painting

Dislikes: demons

Tag: [ 🎼 ] oc : Ariqiel

Ajay Sekiko-Morningstar / Experiment A947 "Ajay" ( Teens division )

Pronouns: they/them

Race: Half Demon / Half Human ( Avatar of Vengeance )

Sexuality: None of your business

Relationships: Friends with the demon brothers, friends with Candy and Gidorah, "Scary child" - Mammon, Child figure to Barbatos, Lucifer, Diavolo, Himiko, Mammon, and Satan, bestfriends with Jenny and Luka

[ Bardic In-separate-tion : A menace to everyone around them because they are the only one with the braincell, enemies to friends with Ariquel and Zangra ]

Fav song: Insane - Black Gryph0n, Baasik & Loose Canon - Set it off

Likes: Music, rain, alone time

Dislikes: their guardians, crowds

Personality: Curious, blunt, and somewhat charming despite being socially inept. They're extremely good at comforting people, although they might panic about what to do for a few moments. They're extremely quiet when around people who they aren't familiar with, and you're more likely to end up talking to one of their adoptlings or a soul. If you do get to know them, you'll find that they're actually rather talkative when it's about cooking or baking. Ajay mostly spends their time indoors with their family or relaxing somewhere with their familiars or souls in the Academy gardens.

Tag: [ 🥀 ] oc : Ajay

Gidorah ( Teens division )

Pronouns: They/she ( prefers they/them )

Sexuality: Demiromantic

Race: Ancient Beast Line ( Dragon )

Relationships: friends with Barbatos, Asmodeus, Diavolo, furlucas, relationship with teen!MC varys, close friends with Luka and Candy

Fav song: U know what's up - 4town / Drop pop candy - Juby phonic

Likes: nature , reading , and singing

Dislikes: Disloyalty , [ REDACTED ]

Personality: Empathetic, level-headed, and gentle. Gidorah is a dragon who prefers to stick with their close group of friends but doesn't mind meeting strangers. They can normally be found around Candy and Luka or reading in the RAD gardens. Gidorah is the calmest of the three and is the best at comforting others by adapting to their needs.

Tag: [ 🐉 ] oc : Gidorah

Luka ( Teens division )

Pronouns: He/him

Sexuality: AroAce

Race: Demon of Pride

Relationships: close friends with Gidorah and Candy

Fav song: Centuries - fall out boys

Likes: Theater , mountains , and painting

Dislikes: Thunder , Deep water

Personality: Serious, sarcastic, and laid-back, Luka is very introverted and preferes quiet time with close friends rather than going out to a big outing. He can normally be found around Candy and Gidorah or watching a movie in his room while studying or painting something. Luka is very quiet with new people and mostly comforts by listening quietly or providing background noise.

Tag: [ ⚖️ ] oc : Luka

Candy ( Teens division )

Pronouns: she/he

Sexuality: Panromantic

Race: Demon of lust

Relationships: close friends with Gidorah and Luka, friends with Beelzebub/Leviathan/Belphegor

Fav song: Confetti - Little mix

Likes: baking, cooking, and flowers

Dislikes: [ Currently unknown ]

Personality: Bold, sassy, and mischievous, Candy is the most social and extroverted of her friend group and is willing to dare anyone to test how protective she is. She's normally the one found in detention from getting up to no good or hanging out with Gidorah, Luka, and sometimes Ajay! Although, despite being known for her lack of knowledge when comforting people, Candy can have her calm moments and is second best out of the three when it comes to handling emotional situations.

Tag: [ 🍨 ] oc : Candy

[dragonstoravens]

Annnnd here’s another one! This time for Babylon, which I write collaboratively with my very good friend @charlottedotexe. Do you like sci-fi, but not TOO much? Do you like romance? Do you like an overuse of Catholicism as an aesthetic/framing device? Then this is the WIP for you!

The taglist for Babylon is currently empty, so let me know if you’d like to be added to that or the general taglist!

General: @residentofthedisc @humour-and-hyperfocus @elywritesbydarkness

Image IDs under the cut!

[ID: an eight-panel slideshow in the comic sans writeblr intro style.

Image 1: “Babylon” in large text in the center. Below that, “a series by @charlottedotexe and @dragonstoravens.” Scattered around in comic sans of various colors are the phrases “both mcs: touch-starved, bi, and ready to... do nothing abt it for like two whole books,” “mad scientist with a heart of gold!” “there was only one bed!” “ prissy rich boy with Depth™,” “one of them can throw a car if they want.”

Image 2: The heading reads “so where are we? when?” and is followed by a bulleted list. “futuristic sci-fi but tbh it’s barely relevant. technically part of the larger Rebel Blue Cinematic Universe™ so that’ll be mentioned. none of the setting matters here tho we’re all about the ROMANCE. just know u can get cybernetic implanty thingies that do all sorts of neat stuff. like throw cars. or be tasers. anyway, you’re here for the romance. who are these dumbasses anyway?”

Image 3: A picrew by aloha sushi core of the character Azure. The heading reads “dumbass numero uno” and is followed by a bulleted list. “this is azure zaraya (she/her/they/them.) 24. bi. very bi. “go to horny jail” levels of bi. southern as hell. stubborn as hell. says stupid metaphors like its her job. cybernetics prodigy. still an idiot tho. very bad with words.” Below the picrew are more bullets. “has a crazy mom. crazy COOL. no really her mom’s a little nuts and also a leading scientist in cybernetics. how did a cybernetics prodigy end up a ship mechanic for vigilantes?? she doesn’t really know either but it’s fun here. also lonely tho don’t tell her brother.”

Image 4: a picrew by aloha sushi core of the character Trinity, including a pair of bat wings. The heading reads “dumbass numero dos” and is followed by a bulleted list. “this is trinity jericho (he/him.) 22. also bi, but a lot quieter abt it. probably on the aro spectrum. anxious wreck. still somehow incredibly charismatic (read: very good at faking it.) emotionally repressed rich boy turned traumatized business mogul. closet goofball.” Below the picrew are more bullets. “no he doesn’t actually have wings its an AESTHETIC CHOICE OK??? pretty secretive about his personal life, especially in public. has a sister??? apparently??? his boss has a History™ with Azzy’s bff in Rebel Blue. ladder climbing’s a lonely pastime.”

Image 5: The heading reads “more characters?” with the sub-heading “ tbh it’s mostly just these two, but there’s a couple important side characters.” Below that are three picrews by aloha sushi core, of the characters Crimson, Periwinkle, and Adriel. The text below Crimson reads “crimson: azzy’s twin brother. a whole cocktail of occupations. shiteater supreme.” Below Periwinkle, it reads “periwinkle: azzy’s bff. Not A Fan of trinity or his boss. loves azzy enough to put up with it anyway.” Below Adriel, it reads “adriel: trinity’s baby sister. 13 and Observant. really just wants her brother to be happy.” At the bottom of the slide, another sub-heading reads “...and that’s it bc let’s be real Trinity doesn’t have any friends.”

Image 6: The heading reads “ slowburn friends to lovers 150K and counting,” followed by a bulleted list. “yeah it’s a four book series (so far) but let’s do a bit of plot to get us started. meet cute: Trinity’s cybernetic eye (custom made by one Dr. Maria Zaraya) breaks, and he goes looking for her to fix it. surprise! he gets her daughter instead! bigger surprise: they both like VERY old terran memes! so when Trinity needs a date for one of the many Fancy Business Events he’s forced to attend, it’s this or pay his sister in juice pouches. cue two anxious bi disasters fake dating in high society. what happens next will shock you! and also force Trinity to start questioning his lawful evil alignment.”

Image 7: The heading reads “how many goofy ass tropes did we fit in here???” followed by a bulleted list. “friends to lovers! fake dating! there was only one bed! SLOW slowburn. grump loves a ray of sunshine. how many times can two people bleed on each other? hurt/comfort out the ass. no really there’s a lot of hurt/comfort. kissing to hide in plain sight. probably more that we’re forgetting bc this bitch is LONG. we weren’t kidding abt that 150K slowburn babey.”

Image 8: A heading and sub-heading in the center of the slide reading “that’s it please enjoy our dipshits. they are stupid and we love them.”

end ID.]

[nrhodact]

A Deadly Education:Things I did and didn't like about it.

I've only read book one so don't come for me about shit that happened in book 2.

Ok pros

Anything can kill you. I like that in a book cause it makes the stakes high and I like to see characters struggle.

The worldbuilding was better than a lot of YA books. Which makes it debatable if I should put this in a pro because YA isn't known for good worldbuilding. It sucks a lot of the time 😬

El and Orion have nice chemistry. Again, can't say a lot of cishet pairing have good chemistry but it's a low bar to cross in the cishet YA genre.

The pacing is not too slow. Info dumps can make it seem like a drag but outside of that, there aren't boring parts.

Orion and the setup for book 2 is interesting.

I found El's narration entertaining, but this could be a con for people who don't like snarky and rude characters.

Now on to Cons

The worldbuilding is good but it is info dumpy as heck...a lot of the info throws the "Show don't tell" rule out the window. Sometimes it's reasonable because we don't know why somethings happen but a lot of the time, the worldbuilding could have been shown to us. If you don't care about in depth worldbuilding and can't stand info dumps, this might not be for you.

El and Orion are the only characters with depth. Chloe starts to have depth but it's near the end of the book, so it sets up potential and she shouldn't flip her ways early in the book so I'll give her a pass. Everyone else...no excuse. El's two friends she makes are shallow. We don't know much about them, except for a little bit about their families and what they're good at, but I struggle to explain what their personalities are like because a large chunk of time that could've been used to get to know the characters is skipped and the other parts are vaguely used to talk about El trying to work on an assignement and make a possible alliance with them. That is also told to us for the most part. I know this is from a 1st person point of view but I feel all the time skips should have been taken out to get to know other characters. Same goes for all the other characters. We know their race, languages they speak and their abilities. That's it. It's diverse but is the diversity that good when everyone except the mc and her (white) love interest are the only ones fleshed out? This is book 1 but you can flesh out more than 2 characters within a novel over 300 pages.(Even if diversity doesn't matter to you, the supporting cast is NOT developed)

El's destiny to be bad but would never actually act upon it because she'd have a bad conscious is predictable. This would be fine if it wasn't constantly brought up about how she struggles with it (psoiler alert, it isn't a struggle cause there aren't close calls. It's being mad, reminding us about how powerful she-she could wipe out the entire school if she wanted to- but tells us she won't because she wouldn't be able to live with herself. Yadda yadda. I was rolling my eyes by the third time she reminded us. We get it, we get it. It's not the special. Maybe if she had taken someone's mana and hurt somebody but then regretted it, I'd believe she was actually struggling to not become evil and destructive. But it didn't happen so I already knew she would never do anything bad the entire book. The romance was predictable too but I won't hold it against Naomi because what cishet romance isn't predictable. If you don't realize two people are going to be together by the end of the series you are very lucky. Ignorance is bliss.

Skip this next con if you aren't aromantic. The "We're not dating!" Line and the many verions of it, El uses is beaten over the readers heads. A.lot. and no they aren't dating by the end of book 1 but Orion is in love with her and...well...we know where this is going....

And the "Just friends" line is used too. That cursed line. I'd say skip this book unless you have a high tolerance for this or are an aro that likes romance.

A lot of the problems El and other students faced were resolved fast. I didn't find that satisfying but the final problem (being vague cause spoilers) seemed like things could go south, unnimportant characters died. (Not calling that a spoiler cuase they weren't relevant to the plot, no joke. ) but that didn't last long either.

Now I'm done. I know the list of cons was longer than pros but again, this what I found as a con. Maybe you won't or don't care that much.

[rvnclwrites]

Romania 1999 Pt 5 (Charlie Weasley x Female MC)

Summary: AU where MC is an American who attended the Ilvermorny School of Witchcraft and Wizardry instead of Hogwarts. Set eight years post graduation (1999) when she finally gets the nerve to travel abroad and follow her dream to be a Dragonologist in Romania. Check out my master list for parts 1 - 4.  

Notes: I’m so sorry this took me a million years to post. Life got crazy, and proof reading this long of a fic took me years, but I hope you enjoy :) part 6 will be the last part in this series, so stay tuned!

Word Count: A lot. I’m talking ~11,500. Whoops.

(Y/N) brought her steaming mug of tea to her lips as Charlie sat down beside her on the couch. It had been a couple days since the pair returned from their time off, and the Sanctuary was busier than ever. They had to split up the past two mornings since Hank and Scott were the ones up to date on how the dragons were doing, and (Y/N) was grateful for the space. Between all the time they'd spent together and Charlie's Christmas present, she needed to distance herself from her feelings, which was a lot easier to do when the redhead wasn't around.

"Did Norberta do that?" (Y/N) asked when Charlie began applying a thin layer of burn-healing paste to his wrist. 

"No, she did great. Aro on the other hand…" He flinched as the orange potion began to work its magic on the small patch of raw skin. "He wasn't as pleased to see me."

(Y/N) set her mug down on the wooden end table to her right and screwed the cap back onto the potion for him. That was the sixth burn she'd heard of in one week, and though it wasn't unheard of for the breed, it wasn't exactly normal either. "Does Hank have any idea what might be going on with him?"

"Not a clue. They did a physical evaluation yesterday and found nothing."

"Huh. Well, we can check on him again on Monday after Gertie and see if he's getting any better," (Y/N) suggested, placing the potion onto the coffee table in front of them.

Charlie smiled. "Sounds like a plan. How was Ventus?" 

"He did great after about ten minutes or so. I'm pretty sure he was giving me the cold shoulder at first for being gone."

The redhead chuckled. "Guess I'm not the only one to notice when you're not around." 

That caught (Y/N)'s attention. She tried to steady her heartbeat by forcing a laugh, ignoring Charlie's eyes on her. Was he saying he missed her? "I'm surprised you aren't sick of me after being stuck with me for a full week."

Charlie leaned back into the couch, propping his arm up on a pillow in his lap. "You're joking, right? That was one of the best holidays I've taken in years."

Not sure what to say, (Y/N) took a quick drink of her tea again to occupy herself, feeling her cheeks, and now her throat, burn.

"Did you mean what you said to my mum? About it being the best Christmas you've ever had?"

(Y/N) looked down at her lap, surprised Charlie remembered that. "Well yeah, but don't go getting a big head on me because that's not saying much." She bumped her shoulder against his, but Charlie frowned.

"You don't have to do that with me you know."

"Do what?" 

He raised an eyebrow at her. "Use jokes to cover up your feelings."

(Y/N) swallowed, realizing it sounded like she was bitter over her family when in reality she just didn't want Charlie to know how much she enjoyed spending the past week with him and his family. "Uh, sorry. It's a bit of a habit."

"Don't get me wrong, I like how tough you are, but you can talk to me about anything."

(Y/N) stared at him, blood pounding in her ears. I like how tough you are. She tugged at her sweater sleeves awkwardly. "Okay, then I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little jealous of your incredible family."

A smile grew Charlie's face. "I don't mind sharing. In case you didn't notice, my parents are pretty accustomed to taking in strays at this point."

Every nerve ending in (Y/N)'s body sparked, making it hard to think properly. Despite the fact that Charlie was talking about his siblings' significant others, (Y/N) reminded herself that Harry and Hermione had been Ron's friends at the start. Friends. Just like she and Charlie were.

She forced another smile, praying the dragon lover couldn't see the effect his words had on her. "Thanks. I'd like that."

"The only condition," Charlie added, narrowing his eyes at her, "is that you can't repeat any of the stories you hear to Hank or Scott."

The knot in (Y/N)'s stomach released and she burst out laughing. "Aw, come on. Can't I at least tell them you used to have a hippy ponytail like Bill does now?"

Charlie groaned, shaking his head adamantly. "Absolutely not. And I'm going to tell Bill you said that."

"I don't know why you're embarrassed by it. That picture of you was adorable." She glanced up at his orangey-red hair, which was still parted to the left like it had been in his Quidditch picture at Hogwarts but was now much shorter in the back. The thick layers up top fell past his ears and always seemed to droop in front of his face in the most adorable way. "You never did tell me why you lopped it all off."

Charlie ran a hand through the spiky strands up front, pushing them back like he always did even though they rarely stayed put. "I stopped wearing the ponytail once I left Hogwarts, but it actually wasn't until Bill's wedding that my mum had a go at it. I figured she had enough going on at the time, the least I could let her do was cut my hair."

"I take it you liked it short then?"

"No, she cut it really short. I used a spell on it a few days later but compromised by not letting it reach my shoulders."

The corners of (Y/N)'s mouth twitched as she pictured his trademark red hair as long as Bill's. "Well, if you ever grow it back out, I call dibs on braiding it. I love your hair." 

The look in Charlie's eyes made her heartbeat stutter. 

"You do?"

"Of course I do," (Y/N) said coolly, hoping her confession wasn't too intimate or weird. "Who wouldn't? It's the most distinguishable thing about you."

His gaze dropped back down to the orange paste on his arm. "In my experience, red hair and freckles have always been considered negative traits."

"Who the hell told you that?" (Y/N) asked, the sudden protectiveness making her body tense. "If anything, those are two of the most attractive things about you." 

Charlie's eyes trailed over to meet hers, and the blood drained from (Y/N)’s face when she registered what she had said. It didn't have to be embarrassing, right? It's not like she admitted she frequently thought about touching his hair and kissing every last one of those freckles.

"Oh, come on," she added to be safe, smacking his shoulder with a pillow. "You don't get to be self conscious. The most sought after woman here was interested in you for crying out loud. That's gotta be an ego boost."

Charlie sighed, giving (Y/N) a look he usually reserved for Hank. "I take it you're referring to Sydney?"

"Of course. Who else would I be referring to?" (Y/N) considered the other women in their age range at the Sanctuary. Jessica was the only other one their coworkers obsessed over, but they would never admit it. She was Dave's younger sister and common sense told everyone she was off limits.

"Now look who's selling themselves short."

(Y/N) stared wide-eyed at the redhead before barking a laugh. "You're kidding, right?" The serious look in his eyes, however, said otherwise, and her amusement faded. "I can assure you literally no one here has hit on me. Sydney probably made it abundantly clear where I stand with them."

Charlie pursed his lips together, looking as though he had something to add to the conversation.

"What?"

"I don't think it's because of Sydney," he said hesitantly.

(Y/N) stiffened. She knew the teams gossiped, she had just always hoped it wasn't about her. "What do you mean?"

"The only reason they haven't chatted you up is because…" He trailed off, looking as though he was hoping she could somehow magically connect the remaining dots.

"Because…?" (Y/N) urged. She genuinely had no clue where he was going with this.

Charlie kept his eyes on her, but (Y/N) could tell he was embarrassed. "Well, based off of comments they've made in the past, I think they're assuming there's something going on between us."

"Oh." The word came out like a high pitched croak due to (Y/N)'s sudden dry throat. While she had always worried about Hank and Scott assuming she was pining over the redhead, she hadn't given a second thought about what the other teams likely presumed about their relationship.

"I've tried to tell them otherwise," Charlie added, "but they listen just about as well as Aro does."

The expression on his face made it seem as though Charlie had been teased about their friendship at one point or another, and (Y/N) tried to ignore the nervous pitter-patter of her heart at the thought. "Shit, I'm sorry. Did you want me to talk to them? I can tell them to piss off."

Charlie smiled a little. "No, I don't care what they think, I just- I thought you should know. You know, in case you wanted any of them to ask you out."

"What? No," (Y/N) said automatically, unable to stop the distaste from showing on her face at the idea of anyone at the Sanctuary asking her out. Anyone except… She swallowed, forcing herself back to the present moment. "If anything, I should say thanks. That's spared me a lot of trouble. But… doesn't it bother you?"

Charlie's brows drew together. "Why would it? You're the most amazing woman I've ever met."

Just like that, it suddenly felt as if all the oxygen had been sucked out of the room. Did he… did he really just say that? 

An indistinguishable shift in tension settled over them as they stared at one another, and (Y/N) realized how easy it would be to make a move. She could practically feel the words pleading to leave her mouth- Charlie, is there something going on between us?

But Charlie continued speaking, extinguishing the opportunity and snapping her back to reality.

"Besides, they-"

Boots clomping on (Y/N)'s front porch followed by an abrupt knock on the screen door made both Dragonologists jolt in their seats and turn around towards (Y/N)'s front door.

"Sorry to interrupt," Hank said, pushing open the squeaky screen door, "but some woman's here to see ya, (Y/N)."

(Y/N) froze, and a heavy lead weight started to creep its way up her legs, settling itself neatly inside her stomach. "Did she say her name?"

"Nah. She said it's a surprise? Adorable little thing with blonde hair. Looks to be about your age."

"Oh my God!" (Y/N) squealed, jumping to her feet. "Charlie, hold that thought- I promise I'll be right back!"

She flew past Hank, not even bothering to grab a jacket despite the chilly temperatures. Dashing down the porch steps, she yelped again when she spotted the one and only Penny Haywood near the entrance gates.

"What are you doing here?" (Y/N) cried, colliding into her friend with the best bear hug she could manage. 

Penny giggled, hugging (Y/N) back just as enthusiastically and refusing to let go even for a second. "My family decided to visit relatives in Britain over Christmas break, so I thought I'd surprise you for New Year's." 

(Y/N) felt a tightness creep into her throat. She couldn't believe Penny was really here, she had missed her so much. "You scared the hell out of me, you know," (Y/N) whispered into the blonde's ear.

She could hear the dorky grin in Penny's voice. "Just making sure you're staying alert. You seemed to be getting quite cozy here in your letters."

"Alright, alright," came an unexpected masculine voice behind Penny, and (Y/N)'s mouth dropped open when she glanced up. "I gave you the first two minutes like I promised, but I want my hug now."

"Barnaby!" (Y/N) gasped, her heart swelling so much she could hardly breathe. 

Penny conceded and released (Y/N) from her death grip long enough for (Y/N) to lunge at the Thunderbird. The six foot tall Magizoologist lifted her off the ground with ease, spinning her around in a full circle and squeezing her as tight as he could without crushing her. "You didn't think I'd miss out on this epic trip, did you?"

(Y/N) felt her eyes burn from the elation while Barnaby set her gently back on her feet. "I've missed you guys so much. How is everyone?"

"We'll catch you up on everything," Penny promised before a mischievous glint reflected in her blue eyes. "But first, you have to tell me who's waiting on your front porch for you."

(Y/N) turned to see Charlie leaning against the porch railing. He smiled at her, which only worsened (Y/N)'s over-stimulation and brought his earlier statement rushing back into her mind. You're the most amazing woman I've ever met. Shit, what had he been about to say to her?

"Merlin's beard, is (Y/N) (L/N) blushing?" Penny gushed, playfully shoving (Y/N)'s shoulder. 

Barnaby howled with laughter. "Awh, come on, don't tell me this place has made you a softie."

"Would you two shut up, we're just friends," (Y/N) hissed even though neither of them had been remotely loud enough for anyone to hear. "I'll only introduce you if you guys promise to behave."

"Fiine," Penny huffed, and Barnaby drew an "X" over his chest. 

"Cross my heart."

(Y/N) bit her lip, secretly excited for Charlie to meet her friends. She hoped he liked them as much as she liked his family. 

An unpleasant thought struck her, however, as she swiveled around and saw Dave and Russell gawking from the researcher's picnic table. For a ridiculous moment, (Y/N) didn't want to introduce Penny to Charlie until common sense caught up with her. In fact, as they approached the porch, (Y/N) noticed his eyes weren't even on the blonde at all, but rather on Barnaby.

"Charlie, this is Barnaby and Penny, two of my best friends from America."

"It's great to meet you," Charlie said, extending a hand to Barnaby, but (Y/N) noticed a change in his demeanor since they had been talking. Was he mad at her for running out on their conversation? She sure hoped not.

The redhead turned to do the same for Penny, but (Y/N) was mortified when the blonde flung herself forward instead, hugging Charlie without warning. 

"Thank you for looking out for her," she said, unapologetically squeezing him once before releasing him. (Y/N) was going to kill her later.

Charlie chuckled, his posture rigid as usual from the unexpected physical contact. "This one hardly needs taking care of."

(Y/N) smiled at that. Charlie needed to start being more careful or her head was going to be the size of a hot air balloon by the end of the night.

"Isn't that the truth," Penny muttered, shooting (Y/N) a pointed look. "So what now? We don't want to butt in if you're busy."

(Y/N) shrugged. "No, we were just hanging out. We're always done a few hours before nightfall. What do you guys want to do?"

"Can we tour the place at all?" Barnaby asked, the childlike excitement evident in his voice. 

Unsure of the rules, (Y/N) glanced to Charlie, who checked the watch on his wrist. 

"As long as (Y/N)'s with you and you stay far enough away from each dragon, then sure. Just stick to the paths and be back by dusk."

Penny beamed, instantly dragging Barnaby towards the winding pathway past Charlie's house. "C'mon then, what are we waiting for?"

(Y/N) moved to follow them, but when Charlie stayed put, she turned back. "Aren't you coming?"

His eyebrows raised. "Oh no, it's cool. Go catch up with your friends."

She shot him a funny look. Did he really think she was going to ditch him because her old friends showed up? Without questioning the urge, (Y/N) grasped his hand the way Penny had Barnaby's and tugged his arm once. "Then you have to come too."

His gaze trailed down to where their hands were connected before settling back on (Y/N). Refusing to feel self conscious, she squeezed his hand and urged him forward again, earning herself another half smile as he conceded and followed her down the porch steps.

And the best part? Charlie squeezed her hand right back.

Penny and Barnaby stayed at the Sanctuary for the weekend, celebrating the new millennium with (Y/N)'s team and catching up on everything they had missed in each others' lives. (Y/N) tried her best not to babble too much about the Sanctuary but could hardly help it as story after story came rushing to her head. She got to hear all about Penny's teaching position and Barnaby's new pets back home. They told her how Rowan and Jae were doing, and at night (Y/N) was able to confide in Penny about her confusing feelings for the redhead. It was so amazing to have them there that it went by in a blur and, as (Y/N) anticipated, saying goodbye became one of the hardest tasks in the world. 

But the one thing that made the inevitable easier to stomach was Charlie, who was waiting for her with two brooms in hand as soon Penny and Barnaby left on Sunday morning.

"Figured you could use a ride right now," he said, extending one of the Nimbus 2008s to her. 

She beamed at him, refusing to acknowledge the lump in her throat while she mounted the broom. What would she do without him? 

He lead the way to the Thestrals, surprising (Y/N) again with just how well he knew her. The comfort of the creatures combined with Charlie's company meant more to her than she could put into words. 

"So how you doing?" he asked, keeping his eyes on her as they sat next to each other on a large rock near the pond. The concern in his voice brought (Y/N) back to that bench at the Burrow and Charlie admitting he was worried she'd want to go back to the States.

"I'm okay. I still have the dragons and you, don't I?" She nudged him playfully, wanting him to know she would be alright. Even in America, (Y/N) jumped around so much she became accustomed to not seeing her friends for months at a time. Her sadness from today would dissolve soon enough and the redhead was undoubtedly expediting that process.

He smiled at her, his freckled face pink in the afternoon sunlight. "Definitely."

"So my crazy friends didn't scare you away then?"

Charlie laughed, shaking his head. "No, they were cool. I'm glad I got to meet them."

"Me too. Even if they are humiliating sometimes..." She shuddered, remembering Penny revealed that (Y/N) spent most of their third year in the library reading about dragons.

"Just consider the playing field a little bit more even now," Charlie said. "More incentive for you to not tell Hank or Scott any of my stories."

"Yeah, yeah." She studied the resting Thestral in front of her and replayed the weekend events in her head a few times. "I would say it went pretty well though."

"Aside from Logan hitting on both of them. He's ridiculous."

(Y/N) laughed. The thirty year old research team member was the most flirtatious wizard she had ever met. "Oh, I considered it a win that he was the only one. Those two always get hit on, especially Penny." 

Charlie didn't say anything in response, so she added, "It's okay, you know. You can admit she's hot, it's no secret."

Their gazes met and the guileless look in his eyes told (Y/N) he wasn't hiding anything. "Yeah, I mean she's pretty I guess."

(Y/N) stared at him, stupefied by his disinterest. In the fifteen years she had known the Pukwudgie, nearly everyone was a little stunned by her beauty. "Okay, was your girlfriend at Hogwarts some sort of rare godless-like creature or am I missing something?"

Charlie looked back toward the Thestral and (Y/N) had the sudden fear she made the dragon lover uncomfortable. Just as she was about to apologize and tell him to forget it, he said, "She was nice."

(Y/N) held her breath, waiting- or at least hoping- for him to continue. That couldn't have been the only quality he liked about her. Sydney may have walked a tight line on that one, but Penny and Fleur were nice too.

"And we were friends." The redhead sighed, rubbing the stubble across his jawline. "I don't expect you to understand because no one seems to, but I'm only ever attracted to someone after I know them. After we're friends." 

(Y/N) prayed he couldn't hear the nervous hammering of her heart. They were friends. Did that mean that she could actually have a chance with him?

She shook her mind of the thought, scolding herself for being so selfish. Scooting closer to the dragon lover, (Y/N) allowed her shoulder to press against his as she placed a hand on his forearm. "Hey, what's wrong with that?"

He glanced down at her, his brown eyes searching hers for something. "I don't know. People have given me grief about it since I was a teenager. They just don't get it." 

She frowned, not sure if she was more upset for Charlie or angry with those people. "I would've never made that comment if I'd known. I'd never make fun of or judge you for anything like that. Those people are assholes."

A grateful smile tugged at the redhead's lips. "Thanks."

Their eyes met again, and for a ridiculous, utterly delusional moment, (Y/N) thought she felt another shift in tension between them. Did he just lean in closer?

She was clearly losing her wits because Charlie merely turned to face the Thestrals again, saying, "So what about you?"

(Y/N) blinked, attempting to calm her rampant pulse. "Huh?" No wonder they called it lovesick. The way this man fried her brain cells was sickening.

"You've heard all about my lack-luster love life, and yet I've heard nothing about yours. Surely you left some bloke heartbroken back across the pond?"

Less than pleasant memories resurfaced in (Y/N)'s mind, causing an angst-riddled scoff to escape her lips. "Hardly," she muttered, the flashbacks leaving a bitter taste in her mouth.

Charlie waited patiently, clearly expecting further explanation, and (Y/N)'s gut twisted as she was forced to confront one of the many aspects about her past that she would prefer to forget.

She couldn't blame her ex's. (Y/N) had more baggage than most their age- baggage that had to be kept under wraps and constantly required her to move from place to place. But that didn't mean it didn't hurt when people you cared for called you selfish and a liar. Or when they betrayed you.

"My first relationship was great," she began, wanting him to know not all of her experiences had been shitty. "He was insanely sweet and was in the same Ilvermorny house as me, so we had a lot in common. But after my brother died, I needed space and he understood." She tried not to fidget, grateful the cool air kept her hands from sweating. "We never could rekindle what we once had, so I moved on to a new state and new career."

"And after that?" Charlie asked. He wasn't stupid. He knew she was stalling.

(Y/N) sighed, drawing her knees against her chest. "Let's just say I learned early on that it's better not to get involved with people until you're ready to settle down." 

Charlie seemed to consider this. "I take it someone didn't like it when you switched jobs again?"

She shook her head. "I asked him to come with me, but he didn't want to." She shuddered, still able to feel the slap of rejection after all this time. "I'd never had someone be so angry with me before and it's not really something I ever want to experience again." (Y/N)'s head began to ache because the memories were only an earth-shattering reminder of why she and Charlie would never work. Of why she should never trust anyone but her four Ilvermorny friends with her secrets ever again.

Charlie tensed beside her, his jaw muscles flexing. "I'd ask if he hurt you, but I have no doubt the damage you've done if he tried." 

A welcomed grin took over (Y/N)'s face. She and Charlie had dueled each other loads of times, most of which ended with Charlie on the ground first. "You betcha."

"Sorry for bringing it up if you didn't want to talk about it."

"No, it's okay," (Y/N) assured, feeling that it was only fair considering what he told her. "It's probably healthier to talk about it."

"Have you dated anyone since?" Charlie asked.

She shook her head. "A couple flings here and there, but he stabbed me in the back pretty good. Haven't really been able to trust anyone enough." 

"No one at all?" 

(Y/N) held her breath and glanced up at the redhead. Was he asking if she trusted him?

As her heart rate increased, Charlie added hesitantly, "What about Barnaby?"

A mixture of disappointment and bewilderment bubbled in (Y/N)'s stomach. "What?" Her shoulders shook with laughter, and she cringed at the mere thought. "No. Merlin no." She continued laughing until she saw unexpected tension release from Charlie's shoulders and remembered his expression when he met the Thunderbird.

Wait, was he…

"I just thought you two seemed close," he said with a shrug.

(Y/N) studied him closely. "I trust that guy with my life, but not like that. He's like my brother." 

Charlie remained quiet, and a realization struck (Y/N). While she may have had several intimate bonds with a handful of friends, Charlie really only seemed to have his brother, who was now married, and her. Jealousy could exist in platonic forms, not just romantic.

"Charles Weasley," (Y/N) began, an arrogant grin spreading across her face. "Are you jealous of my friendship with Barnaby?"

Color flooded the redhead's cheeks faster than (Y/N) could say gotcha, and he jerked his head back towards the Thestrals. "What? No, of course not." 

"Merlin's beard, you so are!" (Y/N) couldn't stop herself from poking his side, and he swatted her hand away. 

"Sod off," he said, standing up to avoid her teasing, and she hurried after him towards their brooms.

"Oh, come on. There's no need to fight over me. I can have more than one best guy friend, you know."

Charlie turned back around unexpectedly, making (Y/N) reel back to stop herself from colliding into his chest. He stared down at her, his mesmerizing eyes piercing right through her, but a roar in the distance caught their attention before he could speak.

(Y/N)'s face lit up at the familiar sound. "Wanna go check on Aro?"

Charlie paused, the teasing seemingly forgotten as his eyebrows raised. "You want to go check on him? ...On our day off?"

"Sure, why not?" She was surprised he was even questioning her. Charlie was always down to visit the dragons.

Amusement reflected in those brown eyes and he stared at her so long, (Y/N) wanted to look away, but she didn't. 

"Sure," he said finally, a grin growing on his pale face. "Race you."

-

To say Aro was more irritable than usual was an understatement. The Hungarian Horntail would barely let them stand a hundred feet away, let alone the standard fifty. The pair had to use the surrounding trees and boulders to sneak closer, keeping their motions limited and voices low.

"When exactly did he burn you?" (Y/N) asked, crouching behind a thick, leafless oak tree.

Charlie thought for a moment. "Actually, it was after I fed him, which I found odd. He's usually one of the easiest to manipulate with food, but he almost seemed worse right after he ate."

She considered this. While a physical exam wouldn't diagnose gastrointestinal issues, there was no way the food would have made it to the digestive tract that quickly. "No vomiting?"

"Nope. Felix thinks they're going to have to take a blood sample tomorrow unless they find out what's wrong."

(Y/N)'s heart sank. Withdrawing dragon's blood was no easy task. Their thick skin was hard to penetrate even with the use of magic, and it was usually a painful, traumatic experience for the creature. "No. We'll figure out what's wrong with him."

One of Charlie's heart stopping smiles made an appearance, releasing a hoard of butterflies in (Y/N)'s chest. 

"What's the plan then?"

She peered around the tree, glancing at the dragon perched on the solid ground. His posture was tense and tail rigid, indicating he was either alert or in constant pain. Since there were no alarming sounds or threats nearby, (Y/N) assumed it had to be the ladder, but what could be hurting him that wouldn't show up in a physical?

"Charlie, do you think you could get him to open his mouth?" she asked suddenly.

The redhead chuckled. "I don't think that will be a problem."

She smiled apologetically. "Preferably without it being followed by fire though."

"Alright, that might be a tad bit more difficult." He reached for a Snitch-sized rock on the ground before standing and moving behind the next tree in line. "Mind telling me what we're looking for first?"

"The mouth is the only external part not checked in a physical."

Charlie quirked an eyebrow. "You think he's being this mean over a toothache?"

"He could've cut his tongue or have an infection," she whispered, hurrying past Charlie to duck behind a nearby boulder. (Y/N) was no longer thankful for the surprisingly warm January day; snow would have been a welcomed distraction for what she was about to do. "I'm gonna get as close as I can to see while you try to distract him."

Charlie nodded hesitantly. "You sure you don't want to wait until tomorrow? I'd say the probability of getting burned is pretty high."

Despite knowing the odds were likely not in her favor, they could keep looking for answers if they were wrong today. If they were wrong tomorrow, Felix would probably move forward with the blood withdrawal. "I'm willing to get a little banged up for Aro's sake."

The redhead still didn't seem as convinced. "Why don't you let me get close to him while you distract him?"

"Because you don't know what different injuries to look out for. How many dragons here have had gum infections or tongue abrasions?"

Charlie pursed his lips together. "Fair point."

She smiled at him, hating the way her heart warmed at his obvious concern. "I'll be fine as long as you promise to apply the burn-healing paste for me."

The worry instantly left Charlie's face, replaced by an amused smile. "Deal."

(Y/N) ignored the butterflies in her stomach, along with the thought that maybe the burn that was likely to follow wouldn't be so bad. "Now throw the rock while I try to get a good view of his mouth."

Charlie obliged while she army crawled forward, staying low to the ground and wiggling her body as little as possible. When the rock hit the ground, Aro's head lifted in response, body seemingly frozen as those intense eyes darted around the clearing. (Y/N) froze, hoping she was far enough to the dragon's right that he would miss her. Thankfully, Charlie sent another rock past Aro this time, causing the dragon's head to jerk in the opposite direction. He growled at the pebble, displaying the right side of his mouth to (Y/N). No black teeth, purple gums, or bleeding there. 

She glanced back at Charlie, motioning for him to toss the next rock up into the air. He did one better by withdrawing his wand and using the levitation spell on the rock. Aro's head followed the rock as it climbed through the air, giving (Y/N) the perfect opportunity to center herself with the dragon. His growl was a low grumble, clearly more intrigued by the rock than threatened, but his mouth was just wide enough for her to spot the blood oozing from his top left canine. It was no wonder the team didn't notice it- most would assume the blood was from the raw meat he was being fed.

Realizing Aro was losing interest in the rock, she scrambled to her feet, retreating to the nearest tree. He howled in anger when she made a break for it, but the Hungarian Horntail surprised her. Instead of letting out an angry burst of flames like she was anticipating to dodge, Aro whipped his tail from out behind him, nailing (Y/N) right between the shoulder blades.

She stumbled forward from the blow, letting out a gasp as the spikes punctured her skin. She caught herself from face planting on the rock solid ground and instinctively tried to push herself up until agonizing pain unfurled inside her, forcing her arms to give out. She tried to crawl forward, just barely registering Charlie distracting Aro in the background. Thank God for that.

Once (Y/N) reached a large enough rock, she used her abs instead of her arms to pull herself up and leaned against the chilled stone for support as she made her way back to her feet.

"What hurts?" Charlie asked once he reached her, his voice gentle as always. He had always been the best at staying calm under pressure.

"Upper back," she gritted, digging her fingernails into the palm of her hand. She couldn't stop herself from slumping against the redhead when he wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her away from the rock, carefully trying to avoid the injury.

"Madam Rosetta's is at least a ten minute walk from here. Can you make it?"

(Y/N) shook her head, but not for the reason Charlie was thinking of. Despite the stinging pain, she could force herself to make it just about anywhere, but thankfully she was cognizant enough to know better.

"Do you want me to carry you there?"

Burying her face into that forest green shirt he was wearing seemed like one of the most appealing options in the world, but she willed herself to shake her head again while her body and subconscious called her a traitor. "Just help me get the nearest emergency shed first."

Even though the pain was isolated to her back, each step felt worse than the last as (Y/N)'s adrenaline wore off. Once they reached one of the dozens of sheds scattered throughout the Sanctuary, (Y/N) rested a palm against the dark wood for support while Charlie held the door open for her.

Blinking through the black and white dots clouding her vision, (Y/N) eased her way into the cramped shed, stumbling toward the familiar oak table against the left wall and letting out a hiss of pain while she leaned back against it. "Son of a bitch."

As the shed door banged shut behind Charlie, she squeezed her eyes shut and eased herself up onto the wooden table, gripping the ledge on either side of her. She was probably going to bruise her palms from how tightly she was holding on, but she didn't care. She'd do anything to find relief from the searing pain emanating from the space between her shoulder blades.

Two creaks of the floorboards and a sudden nearby warmth told her her Charlie was now beside her, undoubtedly surveying the damage.

"We've got to get you to Madam Rosetta."

His voice seemed to be about the only thing that could bring (Y/N) any relief. Smooth as honey and concern for her threaded into each syllable. But there was no way she could do that. The Sanctuary had rules when it came to serious injuries. Rules that required documentation and professional review- more written proof of her being here.

(Y/N) shook her head once, releasing a slow, calming breath before she blinked her eyes open. She was wrong- her best friend’s freckled face brought her an ounce of relief too.

"I just your need help," she insisted as calmly as she could while brushing hair away from the nape of her neck. A light smear against her fingertips indicated just how deep the wound was and Charlie let out a hiss of breath.

"Bloody hell."

She attempted a pathetic smile while she wiped away the faint trace of blood smudged across her fingers with the sleeve of her sweater. "Quite a literal choice of words there, don't you think?"

Charlie didn't laugh. His intense brown eyes were laser focused on her back, and embarrassment settled over her when (Y/N) realized she needed to take her shirt off.

"What are you doing?" he asked, more alarmed than (Y/N) had ever heard him before as she fumbled behind herself to grip the back of the sweater. 

With a wince and a frustrated sigh, (Y/N) lowered her hands back to her sides. "Can you help me lift the back of my shirt over my head?"

Considering this was the man who flinched at hugs and flushed at cheek kisses, (Y/N) waited for him to protest, but it never came. To her surprise, Charlie moved without being told twice, carefully sliding the hem of her gray sweater up and stretching out the collar to guide it seamlessly over her head. 

(Y/N)’s shirt now rested in front of her, giving her a view of the slashed and blood soaked material. Despite how off putting the sight of her own blood was, she kept her arms in the sleeves, thankful the bunched up fabric managed to cover up most of her cleavage. Why couldn't she have worn a sports bra today?

“It’s over a centimeter deep,” Charlie said, averting his eyes from the wound. The raspy falter in his voice made (Y/N) wonder if it was the severity of the injury or the fact that she was practically shirtless that left him so unnerved. They were best friends right? This was no different than him seeing her in a bikini top.

(Y/N) slowly straightened her slumped shoulders, forcing away all visible signs of insecurity for Charlie’s sake. Anything to make him feel less uncomfortable. “Can you speak American for two seconds? My brain is a little too overwhelmed to handle the metric system right now.”

Charlie smiled for the first time since they had stepped foot inside the shed and held his thumb and index finger up to show her.

“Okay, about half an inch. Thank you.” She attempted to pull her hair free from the neckline of the sweater but stopped abruptly as the abrasion moved with her shoulder blade. She let out a second grunt of irritation and pain, hating nothing more than the temporary loss of her independence. Just as she was about to try again, her breath caught as Charlie’s fingertips brushed against her neck, freeing the trapped strands and brushing them over one shoulder.

“What do I do?” The look in his eyes was urgent, and (Y/N)’s heart squeezed in response. He didn’t ask questions. He didn’t tell her she was an idiot for not going to the nurse. He just wanted to help her.

She smiled gratefully and pointed to the top shelf on the back wall. “Grab one of the purple bottles on the right.” Staring down at her sweater, her head pounded argumentatively while she racked her brain for the blood cleaning spell. It started with a T and was right on the tip of her tongue. “Ugh.” She roughly rubbed a hand over her face, wanting the throbbing sensation in her back to stop for just one second.

“What?” Charlie asked, instantly stepping back in front of her and setting the potion bottle onto the table beside her thigh.

She turned away from him as a frustrated flush reached her cheeks. Two of the traits she prided herself most on were her intelligence and independence, both of which were failing her right now. “I can’t remember the stupid spell to clear all this blood up. I was a Healer for an entire year and I can’t remember the damn spell.”

“Hey.” Charlie’s cold fingers rested beneath (Y/N)’s chin, gently forcing her to look at him. The touch was quick, but the striking contrast to her scorched skin made (Y/N)’s head spin. “Your body is beat up enough. We don’t need you taking swings at it too, okay?”

(Y/N) nodded, still slightly dazed from the feeling of his hand against her skin. “Okay.”

Charlie grabbed a stack of towels from the shelf and set them beside the potion bottle. “This may hurt,” he warned, tugging on a fresh pair of work gloves, “but I’ll try to put as little pressure as possible.”

(Y/N) nodded, squeezing her eyes shut again as Charlie picked up one of the towels and began blotting away the excess blood from around the wound. She calmed herself by breathing in through her nose and exhaling through her mouth while counting to ten, the technique she used to encourage her former patients to use.

“What now?” Charlie asked, setting the blood stained towel off to the side.

(Y/N) twisted the cap off of the potion and poured a generous amount of the purple liquid onto a fresh towel before handing it to Charlie. Leaning forward so her back was more accessible, she said, “This will clean it and prevent infection. Just dab it until it starts to smoke.”

“I’m sorry,” Charlie muttered when she sucked in a sharp breath as the wet towel touched her skin.

She knew the potion stung and had anticipated the pain, but it was even worse than the burn-healing paste. She bit her lip hard and was relieved when the antiseptic started to settle into the wound, alleviating some of the discomfort. 

Charlie’s forehead creased with concern after he set aside second towel and gloves. “It’s smoking, but it’s still bleeding a little.”

“It’s okay. Do you remember the third healing spell I taught you?"

Nodding, Charlie withdrew his wand but hesitated. “Are you sure you wouldn’t rather Madam Rosetta do it? We've only practiced that one a handful of times.”

“Now who’s beating themselves up? You also mended Gertie’s broken claw last month on your first try and bandaged Scott’s leg two weeks ago like a pro.” 

“But none of those were this severe.” He glanced down at the infliction for a minute before their eyes met again, and his voice was barely audible when he spoke. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

(Y/N) couldn’t help but smile at him. “You won’t, you’ll help me. We’re best friends, right? I trust you.” 

Something sparked in Charlie’s eyes at those words, and after a minute, he nodded. “Vulnera Sanentur, right?” The melodic phrase fell from his lips with the perfect inflection on each syllable.

She grinned and leaned forward again. “Just like that, three times.”

He did exactly as he was taught, tracing his wand back and forth and performing the spell with so much elegance, (Y/N) was too distracted to notice the poking of his wand or the feeling of her broken skin knitting back together. When the words stopped, it felt as though someone had used a Time Turner, reverting back before Aro had ever scratched her.

“Merlin’s beard,” Charlie breathed, his voice full of wonder and pride while (Y/N) exhaled in relief. She knew what he was feeling- Vulnera Sanentur was one of those spells that had the ability to take your breath away when you saw it work. Without warning, he set his wand down and traced his fingers across her upper back, making (Y/N)'s head and heart go haywire. She sucked in a shaky breath and Charlie paused, looking alarmed. “Does it still hurt?” 

Mortified, (Y/N) shook her head and hopped off the table. “Are you kidding? You did it perfectly!” She wanted to hug him but stopped herself once she registered her current sweater situation, which only led to a second wave of embarrassment. He probably wouldn’t appreciate (Y/N) pressing her blood covered shirt or her bra-clad chest against him. Studying the material, she realized she still couldn’t recall the blood cleaning charm and wondered what the hell was wrong with her. 

Her attention returned to the redhead when she heard rustling, only to find Charlie now in a white undershirt, extending his long sleeve shirt toward her. For a moment, (Y/N) just stared at the green fabric in his hand while her heart continued to have a mind of its own. He was offering her his shirt. It took a moment for that realization to sink in, and (Y/N) wasn't sure which outcome was worse- having to put her mangled, bloody sweater back on or Charlie continuing to stand there in his nearly see-thru t-shirt that clung to his body like static. Neither were great options. 

“You don’t have to,” she began, but he pushed the cotton material into her hand.

“Take it. I don’t want you to start freaking out about that spell again.”

(Y/N) smiled softly, deciding she was hardly about to put up a fight after what he had just done for her. As soon as she began to slip her arms free from her sweater, Charlie rotated around towards the table, turning (Y/N)'s insides to mush. He was so sweet she couldn't take it.

All the nerves in (Y/N)’s body jolted to attention when she pulled the fresh material over her head and a wave of Charlie's scent hit her. It took all of her self control to not bunch the material up against her nose and breath in that overwhelmingly pleasant honeysuckle and grass smell. "Thanks," she muttered, letting him know it was safe to look once the hem of the shirt fell past her hips. Charlie was only four or five inches taller than (Y/N), but the shirt was easily two sizes too big because of his broad chest and defined arms.

She tossed her sweater onto the table and was surprised to find Charlie staring at her. His eyes held an intensity (Y/N) had never seen before and she started to feel claustrophobic in the tiny shed. Why was he looking at her like that? She attempted to take a step back, but the heel of her boot clacked against the wood panel wall behind her. His gaze somehow managed to feel more invasive now than when she was standing beside him in her bra just moments ago.

(Y/N) was about to ask what he was staring at, but she didn't have a chance to speak. Without warning, Charlie closed the distance between them, his hand suddenly cupping her cheek, his body pushing her back against the wall, and before she knew what was happening, he was kissing her. 

Butterflies erupted in (Y/N)'s stomach and her brain short circuited as Charlie's mouth met hers. Her palms landed on his chest while Charlie's free hand gripped her waist, and she was frozen in place. The only move her instincts allowed her to make was to close her eyes and kiss him back.

She may have imagined kissing the redhead more times than she'd ever admit, but this was nothing like those fantasies. She had always assumed he would be sweet and gentle, maybe even shy. Boy was she wrong. 

(Y/N)'s heartbeat pounded like a Bludger trapped inside her chest as Charlie's body pressed against her own. His calloused fingers dug into her hip, keeping her firmly in place, and (Y/N) sucked in a breath as their tongues swirled against one another, sending a wave of pleasure over her. She involuntarily curled her fingers into his shirt to tug him closer, unable to believe how good this man's mouth felt on hers. Every inch of her body felt like it was on fire. She never wanted him to stop. She wanted to do this all the time.

But unfortunately, all good things had to come to an end. (Y/N) wasn't sure if it had been a few seconds, minutes or hours when Charlie finally jerked back. Both of them just stared at one another for a minute, wide eyed and breathless. Charlie's heavily freckled cheeks burned a shade of red (Y/N) had never seen on him before.

"Bloody hell," he whispered, and (Y/N) could tell by the panicked look growing in his brown eyes that he was about to freak out. He took a step back and closed his eyes, roughly rubbing one of his palms over his forehead.

(Y/N) just blinked at him, her chest still heaving up and down as she tried to circulate more oxygen to her brain. Anything to help the gears in her head start moving again. In that moment, she wanted to be bold. (Y/N) wanted to pull Charlie back against her and tell him to do it again. She wished more than ever that she hadn't accepted his shirt so there would have been something more substantial to clutch onto, forcing him to stay close for as long as she wanted. But instead, there she stood, dumbfounded, confused and unable to form a single damn sentence. Her chin still tingled where his stubble had scratched her, which somehow managed to be both the best and worst feeling all at the same time. 

"Chaarlie," a muffled voice called from outside, breaking their staring contest. 

Hank. Of bloody course.

The redhead looked tormented as his gaze alternated between (Y/N) and the shed door. His brain seemed to be just as rattled as her own.

"Go see what he wants," (Y/N) encouraged with a weak smile, reaching for her sweater on the table. "I'm good." She was referring to her back but hoped it passed for both the injury and the... the word kiss lit up in neon inside (Y/N)'s head. Holy shit. Charlie Weasley had seriously just kissed her.

He hesitated, frowning slightly. "You sure?" 

(Y/N) wasn't sure what to make of his expression and still couldn't think properly, so she nodded. The last thing she needed was to have a mental breakdown in front of him while overthinking what the hell just happened. "Yeah, of course. Let's go see what he wants." 

-

"There you are," Hank said, jogging down the path as soon as Charlie emerged from the shack. "Everything okay?" His greying eyebrows ratcheted up as (Y/N) leaned against the door frame, and her face flamed once she realized all the scenarios undoubtedly running through the forty-three year old's mind. She was wearing Charlie's shirt for heaven's sake.

"All good," she said, quickly folding her sweater over her arm so the deep red patch faced Hank.

His cocky smile vanished immediately. "Merlin's beard, you sure? What the hell happened?"

Charlie and (Y/N)'s gaze met briefly before they both looked away. 

"We found out what's wrong with Aro," (Y/N) answered, hoping to lead the conversation to the safest territory she knew- dragons.

Hank sighed, shaking his head. "Seriously? You guys can't even take the weekend off?" When neither Charlie nor (Y/N) responded, Hank's forehead creased. "Is that all? You two look like you've seen a dementor."

The anxious look in Charlie's eyes made (Y/N)'s chest ache. Did he really think she was going to tell Hank right then and there that he had kissed her?

"Just shaken up," (Y/N) explained, feeling a lump bob in her throat. "I was expecting fire, not his tail. Charlie was great though and healed it for me. It hurt too much for me to make it down to Madam Rosetta." Her stomach twisted at the lie. Why did her life have to be this way?

Hank nudged Charlie in the shoulder with his knuckles as the trio turned back toward the village. "Good on ya, Weasley. Why don't we go grab a Butterbeer? To two look like you could use a good drink right about now while ya tell me about Aro. I'm sure Felix will be thrilled."

Food and drinks were the last thing on (Y/N)'s mind, but she went along with it. They told Hank about the Horntail's infected tooth, and (Y/N) managed to stomach half of a Butterbeer before the tension in the room was too much for her to handle.

"Where ya goin'?" Hank asked when she stood up from their picnic table.

"I'm gonna go get cleaned up and fix my sweater," she said, taking a step back and jabbing her thumb towards her place. To (Y/N)'s surprise, Charlie looked more startled than relieved.

"Do you want any help?" 

(Y/N)'s head started spinning again as she tried to decipher what that meant. Was that code for let's sneak off and kiss again? Or for wanting to tell her to never mention what happened ever again? 

"Nope, I've got it," she reassured a bit too forcefully.

The concern in his eyes made it seem like that wasn't the answer he was hoping for, and that just made everything that much more confusing. She needed a moment alone to think. Her brain was about ready to explode.

"Just let us know if you need anything," Hank said, raising his glass to her.

Backing up towards her front porch, she forced one last smile and waved. "Yep. I'll catch up with you guys later."

She felt Charlie's eyes on her until the door closed behind her. Letting her back rest against the wood, she slid down to the floor and began racking her brain, finally letting panic sink in.

Why had he kissed her? Was it some sort of response to her being hurt? Was it something she had said? Most importantly, why did he look so regretful after he had done it? 

Maybe he hadn't enjoyed it. Maybe he thought he might feel something and didn't, and now he didn't know what to say. 

The kick to her gut was quickly remedied by the inappropriate reminder that at least one part of him had enjoyed the kiss. Goosebumps broke out across (Y/N)'s skin, and while she forced away thoughts of Charlie's body against hers, a lightbulb flicked on inside her head. The look in his eyes and the unanticipated hunger behind the kiss. He was only ever attracted to someone after they were friends, and she had been practically shirtless while they were crammed in a small space together. How could she be so oblivious? It was probably a purely hormonal response and now he was mortified. But (Y/N) couldn't blame him… eight years was a long time. She just wished that realization didn't make her heart feel so heavy.

Forcing herself to breathe, (Y/N) told herself she was being ridiculous. Whatever the reason, it wasn't a big deal. It was just a kiss. Sure, it may have been a mind-numbing explosion of one for her, but she could put it behind her. A relationship was the last thing she needed to worry about anyway. It was too dangerous. (Y/N) barely could afford to make friends, let alone date someone. She didn't want anyone to get hurt or into trouble because of her.

-

Charlie continued sitting across from Hank, barely able to take his eyes off (Y/N)'s door as the minutes ticked past. He was completely conflicted between staying glued to the picnic table all night and pounding on her door until she opened it.

"You two have been acting weird ever since you got back," Hank said, setting his Butterbeer down onto the table. "Everything okay?"

Charlie shook his head, drumming his fingers nervously on the table. "No, I'm an idiot."

"Oh, Lord. What'd ya do now?"

"I kissed her."

Hank straightened so abruptly he knocked his Butterbeer over, but the man hardly seemed to care. "You what?"

The redhead dropped his head into his hand, rubbing his temples and sighing. "I bloody kissed her."

"What the hell are you groaning about?" Hank boomed, slapping a hand against the table. "This is the best news I've heard all month!"

"No it's not. The walk back here was awkward as hell because we were interrupted before we had the chance to talk." Charlie shot his buddy a look, but Hank hardly looked apologetic.

"You could have told me to piss off."

"And say what? We're busy in here, come back later? I'm sure your reaction to that would have been real appropriate."

Hank rubbed his stubble to hide is grin, not even attempting to correct the redhead. "Well, did she kiss you back?"

Charlie averted his eyes, hating how easy it was to recall (Y/N)'s mouth on his- the way her hands gripped his t-shirt, the muffled gasp she had made into his mouth. He had never been kissed like that before, and he wanted to do it over and over again. He blew out a breath, wondering what the hell was wrong with him. He had more self control as a bloody teenager. "That's not the point."

Hank grinned the biggest toothy smile that Charlie had ever seen from him. "That's one hundred and ten percent the point. I know she's into you- even if you are a total wanker." 

"She didn't say anything after." Or try to do it again, his subconscious added unhelpfully. "For all I know, she could've felt cornered."

Hank barked a laugh. "You're kidding, right? That wild thing could'a kicked your ass if she wanted to."

Deep down Charlie knew that was true, but he also knew that (Y/N) had a soft spot and just might not have wanted to hurt his feelings. Her quick dismissal of him offering to help reverberated in his head. "What if I've screwed everything up?"

"Here's a crazy idea- if you're so damn worried about it, why don't you try talking to her instead of me?"

Charlie narrowed his eyes at Hank despite knowing the forty-three year old was right. With a sigh, Charlie forced himself off the bench, slowly making his way to (Y/N)'s porch and praying he didn't mess up their friendship.

-

A knock on (Y/N)'s door made her freeze at the kitchen sink. After scouring through her books for that stupid spell, she managed to fix her sweater and was now rinsing out her tea mug. Her heart thumped nervously and she cleared her throat. "Come in." 

She fumbled with the mug as the door creaked open behind her and wondered what the odds of it being Hank or Scott were. Or Felix or Dave. Hell, she'd probably even take Sydney right now. Setting the cup in the sink, she turned around and her stomach plummeted. They apparently weren't good enough.

"Hey," Charlie said, shutting the door quietly. He could hardly look at her. His eyes flicked around the room, just barely jumping up to meet hers, and he hadn't moved past the first chair at the dining room table. He looked more uncomfortable than (Y/N) had ever seen and her heart cracked open in response. She didn't want him to feel that way. 

"Hey, what's up?" she asked with a smile, picking up a dish towel to dry off her hands. She could ignore the elephant in the room.

Charlie hesitated for a moment, but her tone must have resonated with him on some level because his stiff posture eased and he stepped a fraction closer. "Uh, are we- I mean are you… okay?"

She could see the concern in his eyes, and her heart skipped a beat in response. Even though he was clearly uncomfortable and embarrassed, he was asking if she was okay. How could she not be head over heels for him? 

"Yeah, of course," she answered, taking the time to fold the towel and set it neatly on the counter before turning back to face him. She hoped her casual tone said, Why wouldn't I be?

He ran a hand through his hair, pushing the soft red strands away from his face, and a horrible thought entered (Y/N)'s brain before she could stop it: Why hadn't she done that? 

The thought of touching Charlie's hair as they kissed left (Y/N)'s face flaming with embarrassment. Averting her eyes only made the situation worse, however, because she realized she was still wearing his shirt. She had changed into leggings in place of her jeans but didn't take off his damn shirt. He was going to think she was mental. 

Charlie took another step forward, now leaving only two dining chairs left between them. "Look, about earlier…" 

"You don't have to do this," she interrupted, glancing at him again. "It really isn't a big deal. We can pretend it never happened if that's what you want." 

Charlie stared at her for a long moment, and (Y/N) watched his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed. "What if I don't want that?"

Chills scattered down (Y/N)'s entire body and she gripped the chair in front of her for support. She couldn't have heard him right. This was the off-limits dragon lover that had been single for years. She must've misheard him. "What?" Her voice was as unstable as her legs were. 

"Look, I know I'm not good at this," he began, rubbing the back of his neck. "In fact, I'm probably just about as rubbish as you can get. But I fancy you, (Y/N). A lot."

(Y/N)'s lips parted and the wild pulse in her throat was nearly all she could concentrate on. She tried to speak, but his words made her head dizzy and mouth dry. Ginny was right? He… he liked her too?

Charlie's face was beat red now as he took one final step forward. "And I was wondering if… if we could be more than just friends."

(Y/N) tried to calm her rampant heartbeat, and it wasn't until Charlie cleared his throat that she realized how long she had merely been staring at him, jaw dropped and eyes wide.

Charlie looked down at the floorboards beneath his feet, his expression turning stony. "But I completely understand if you don't think of me in that way. Or if my… lack of dating experience is-"

(Y/N) surged forward before he had a chance to finish that ridiculous sentence, wrapping her hands behind his neck and crashing her mouth against his. Charlie stumbled a little to catch his balance, letting out a raspy breath before his arm slid around her waist and he kissed her back, sending (Y/N)'s heart into overdrive. He pulled her closer and she tangled her fingers into his hair like she wanted to earlier, feeling like her whole world was complete. 

Their fevered kisses faded down to delicate and when they slowly pulled back for air, (Y/N) could feel Charlie's warm, ragged breath on her lips. "Is that a yes?"

Reality struck (Y/N) like an earthquake as her promise to Ginny echoed inside her head. Easing down from her tiptoes, she rubbed her face, feeling the overwhelming bliss diminishing inside her. "Shit. I- I don't know." 

"What's wrong?" Charlie asked, his brown eyes searching hers. "Is it the team? I'll make sure Hank keeps his comments to himself if that's what you're worried about."

(Y/N) shook her head. "It's not that. I just- I don't think it would be fair to you." The words cut her to the core. Life had never been this cruel to her.

Charlie didn't look angry or annoyed- he looked concerned. "Why not?"

She turned away from his gorgeous face, ashamed, heartbroken, and angry. "Charlie… There are things you don't know about me. Things you can't know."

He seemed to consider this. "Does this have to do with why you've moved around so much?"

She nodded, biting down on her lower lip.

"Why can't you tell me?"

Despite her trust issues, a part of her knew that wasn't it. As much as (Y/N) tried to fight it, as much as her past experiences told her not to, she really did trust the redhead every bit as much as Penny, Barnaby, Rowan and Jae. "It's too dangerous."

The corner of his mouth twitched the slightest bit. "More dangerous than being a Dragonologist?"

She nodded, trying to convince herself more so than the redhead. She knew him too well to think danger would scare him away.

He was now in front of her, the tips of their boots nearly touching. "What if I care about you more than my safety?"

Her nerve endings crackled like static, and it took every ounce of her self control not to touch him. "I- I refuse to put you or your family at risk. I just can't." Her lip trembled at the mere thought. She couldn't handle being responsible for anyone getting in trouble because of her. Charlie's dad worked for the Ministry for Merlin's sake. He could lose his job.

"Did you do something bad?" Charlie asked.

(Y/N)'s heart weighed down with heaviness as she considered how to answer. "People think I did," she finally whispered.

"But did you?"

She shook her head, blinking away the tears gathering in her eyes. She hoped to Merlin that he believed her. She didn't know what she would do if he didn't.

“Ah." He nodded slowly. "I think I’m starting to piece together the whole Sirius Black obsession.”

That made (Y/N) laugh- a pathetic, hollow laugh that caught in the back of her throat. “Pretty stupid, right? It’s not like that story has even a remotely happy ending.” She closed her eyes for a moment, trying to suppress all the conflicting emotions she felt. “Don’t you get it? There’s no happy ending for me. There’s no case for my innocence, I’m just a fugitive to catch. They may come after me again, and if you know what happened, they’ll say you were involved in it. I can’t have that on my conscious.”

"There’s one thing you’re not accounting for," he said, leaning his face closer to hers.

(Y/N) glanced up at him, but her voice was still overruled by defeat. “Oh yeah, and what’s that?”

Charlie smiled, clearly accepting the challenge. “You probably picked the only career where we could care less what the Ministry thinks.”

“They’re our government, Charlie. You really expect me to believe wizards here don’t care about the Ministry of Magic?” 

He looked genuinely surprised by her response, as if he expected her to know better. “Do you know why reserves like this even exist?” 

She waited for him to answer, sensing the question was rhetorical, and the frown forming on Charlie’s face told (Y/N) the subject made him upset.

“It’s because wizards like Newt Scamander stuck up for the safety and preservation of all creatures, even the XXXXX category. In the Ministry’s eyes, dragon’s are probably the largest nuisance in the wizarding world. They’re massive, loud, and lethal. Bloody terrible to conceal from muggles and untamable. If they had it their way, most of these creatures would likely be killed and sold for parts.” 

An unpleasant knot yanked on (Y/N)’s heartstrings at the thought of losing any of these dragons. “No… they wouldn’t do that. I mean sure, maybe decades ago when we didn’t know as much, but they have to feel differently now, right?”

“Some of them do, sure,” Charlie conceded. “But we still get hassled about our work when they visit. Some badger us about our numbers, demanding if we really need this many. Some suggest expediting mother nature when one falls ill or grows old. Like I said- to them, dragons are a headache. They make up a large portion of what makes their lives miserable when an accident happens and they have to repair the damage.” He leaned his forehead against hers and brought a hand up to stroke her cheek. "So would you stop worrying about protecting me? Because I don't really give a damn what the Ministry thinks and I'd really like to kiss you again."

And just like that, (Y/N)'s entire resolve crumpled, and she kissed Charlie Weasley like her life depended on it.

[emmrichs]

can you give me some lgbt+ book recs?

of course! i’ll rec you some of my more underrated faves:

the lost coast by amy rose capetta (pitched to me as a sapphic the raven cycle, which i can kind of see. a group of queer witches look for their lost friend in the californian red woods and are messy and gay. a very diverse and varied cast of main characters that i all loved)

autoboyography by christina lauren (a bisexual teen signs up for a novel writing contest and is mentored by the previous year’s winner. he falls in love with sebastian, the mentor, but sebastian has grown up in a strict mormon household and is still coming to terms with being gay)

radio silence by alice oseman (bisexual teen befriends the maker of her favorite podcast while struggling with educational pressure. lots of amazing discussions about education, friendship, being an artist and depression)

crier’s war by nina varela (f/f enemies to lovers ya fantasy set in a world with automa (artificially created beings) and humans, where humans are the oppressed group. the human mc becomes the automa’s personal servant (the automa is the sovereign’s daughter) and is planning to kill her and help the resistance, while the automa mc is slowly discovering there is more to her kind and her country than she might have realized. it’s mostly about the romance though)

beyond the black door by a.m. strickland (a girl gets tangled up in political intrigue while trying to figure out what happened to her mother, who has mysteriously disappeared. she is also able to visit a physical manifestation of other people’s souls and falls in love with a villainous boy that appears in her dreams along the way. lots of cool original mythology and a really cool magic system, and the mc is demi-biromantic and asexual + has multiple amazing lgbt+ side characters)

the brilliant death by amy rose capetta (italian inspired ya fantasy about a strega who is trying to save the fate of her family by going to the capital to represent her family, disguised (via shapeshifting) as her brother. along the way she meets and falls in love with a genderfluid shapeshifter named cielo who teaches her more about her nature as a strega. i haven’t read the sequel yet but i would highly recommend this first book bc genderfluid streghe falling in love while a whole plot of magic and politics unfolds)

girls of paper and fire by natasha ngan (slightly more popular on tumblr than the rest of these, but still one that deserves more love. asian-inspired ya fantasy about a girl who is chosen as one of the concubines (paper girls) of a demon king. it follows her in the palace while she and her fellow girls deal with the horrible things they suffer in the palace, but falls in love with a fellow paper girl. together they find their strength and start plotting against the demon king. this book deals with heavy topics of sexual assault, but handles them so well and is very much focused on hope and empowerment)

summer bird blue by akemi dawn bowman (a girl who recently lost her sister in a car accident is sent to stay with her aunt in hawaii by her mom. we see her dealing with grief and finding herself again after her sister died, and she also goes through the process of questioning her sexuality (and ends up concluding that she is probably on the aro spectrum as well as ace). i adored the beautiful exploration of grief in this book and the role that music plays in it for the mc because that is what she and her sister loved most)

queens of geek by jen wilde (a story told in 2 povs about 3 friends who go to a fandom conference together. 1 of the povs follows a bisexual actress and vlogger who meets a fellow actress she’s been crushing on for ages and well… guess what happens. the other pov follows the other two friends as they go around the con and also finally confess their feelings for one another. this book is just really cute and definitely good for when you need to be cheered up, while also having good discussions about fandom and the struggles that come with certain marginalizations)

[hannah-deactivated20220725]

Vampire Idol: Liz’s Break up

WC: 967

Characters: Nane & Elizabeth

WIP: It’s about the MCs of Vampire Idol, though it isn’t like an official part of the story (consider it fanfiction from the original writer xD)

Situation: Elizabeth’s latest boyfriend breaks up with her over Nane, as so many have before him... how does she and how does Nane respond to the situation?

Author’s Notes: I really hope you guys like this! I had so much fun writing it. As one of my friends has recently said, I ship the FUCK out of these two. Makes me so sad that Nane is aro/ace. ): but doesn’t mean we can’t have sweet/cutesy platonic moments like this right? ;) platonic love matters too!

Vampire Idol Taglist (ask to be added or removed):

@wyldlynxx @mrs-raven-writes @magic-is-something-we-create @dczwrites @bathingindirtyteacups

General Writing Taglist (ask to be added or removed):

@sunlight-and-starskies @adaparkwrites @leafgreen6

I stare blankly at the latest man telling me that I’m “too attached” to my best friend and it’s “unnerving” that I “act more couply with him than I do with my own boyfriend.” Yet another. This is perhaps the 10th guy in the last 4 years that has made this same excuse. You’d think I’m the Taylor Swift of vampires, except that my relationships are all secret so I’m obviously not using them to build my fame.

I sigh heavily, rubbing my face.

“You really feel that way? There’s nothing I can say if you truly feel that way. I’m not begging you to stay.” He stares at me, face flushed. Since vampires’ blood doesn’t flow the same way that humans’ do, it is rare that you see a vampire’s face truly flush the way his is, so it’s more than clear how unhappy he is with my response.

“You won’t even fight for me?” He asks flatly, eyes narrowing slightly.

“Do I seem the type?” I ask simply, crossing my arms. He opens his mouth to retort but then closes it and walks away toward the door. When he reaches it, he stops, resting his hand on the knob, and turns toward me.

“You would fight if it was him.” I feel my face heating up in a blush, one of the very few times that a vampire will feel warm to the touch. And one of the only times, unless they are wearing makeup, that there will be color on their cheeks (or if they’re from a place with darker skin, since, unlike what media tries to say, becoming a vampire only pales your skin a little bit, not completely). I fight to find the right response to his words. No, I’m not in love with him... but I really felt like this was going somewhere... not right to the place where all of my past relationships have gone. But here we are, having the same discussion that I’ve had with every one of my other exes.

He watches my face closely for only a moment before turning and finishing his trail out the door. I simply stand still, watching his retreating back.

--

I find myself lying on my back, stomach gurgling. I haven’t fed in a week. We’re supposed to be hosting The Show, but my heart just isn’t in it. Am I doomed to live my life alone? I know that I have a reputation to maintain. I have a public persona to maintain and if people see me avoiding Nane, they will think we’re in a fight, which will either destroy or make our relationship career.

I hear a loud, firm knock at my door and without warning, Nane’s voice.

“Liz? Are you in there?” I’m silent. I’m not ready to fake a relationship. I can’t do this right now. My relationship with my best friend is what is causing me to remain single all this time. I want to be with someone. I don’t want to be single, in a fake relationship my whole goddamn life.

The knocking ensues and eventually, I find myself sitting up.

“Nane, leave,” I say simply, forgetting that he has his own key to my place (to keep up appearances and because we are just that good of friends). I don’t forget for long, as  he is soon in my place, finding his way to the room where I’m staring blankly at a black television screen. He frowns and sits next to me.

“Are you okay?” He asks quietly. I tense but offer no response to his concern. I don’t want to admit that I want to fall in love. The only time that I confess this feeling is when I get so intoxicated that I actually consider quitting the public scene in order to seek a true, meaningful relationship. For as long as Nane and I are as close as we are, I will never find the love that I want.

He frowns as if he’s reading my mind and offers to wrap an arm around me, but I scoot away.

“Don’t,” I say simply, tensely. He frowns but remains still, respecting my wishes. I slowly glance up at him.

“Why,” I say quickly. He frowns. We’ve had this discussion a time or two. And by that, I mean every time this situation happens. He lets out a little sigh.

“C’mon, Liz. Try to relax and we’ll have some ice cream and popcorn like you like it. And watch sappy love movies.” My eyes start to water as I laugh emotionally.

“Can you imagine what would happen if all of our fans saw me being like this over another man?” I ask, shaking my head. He pulls my face up to look into his eyes with his index finger, gazing deep into mine.

“Who cares?” I feel my heart leaping from my chest, even though I haven’t ever actually felt what it was like to have a beating heart. He studies my eyes closely. “Put the movie on. I’ll make the food.” He kisses my cheek, making my stomach feel like butterflies but I simply mutely nod and then turn on the television set to turn on the movie we watch traditionally when I go through exactly this situation.

Soon, he comes into the room with a bowl of popcorn and a carton of ice cream and a spoon to share. When I get like this, we cuddle and watch the same movie every time. It’s like our little tradition when my heart is broken.

And you know what the best part is?

No one knows about it, so I know this is all him just genuinely caring about me and the fact that I have a heart, even if it functionally doesn’t work.

[thoughtfulfangirling]

I keep seeing these posts going around about queer books, but my problem is that nowadays, I struggle to sit down with books and primarily consume them via audibooks. A lot of the recs are ones I haven’t found in audiobook format using my usual routes. For this reason, let me start a post that I hope y’all will add onto that has LGBTQ+ folks in them that I know exist in audiobook format. For reference, I’ve used for my audiobook consumption Audible, Libro, Overdrive, and Scribd, so each of these will have been found by myself in one of those places.

Nemesis Series by April Daniels trans wlw MC | Superhero | coming of age | YA The First book is Dreadnought followed by Sovereign and follows Danny, a trans girl whose body is transformed to the one that matches her vision of herself after a superhero falls and passes his powers on to her. All at once, she has to face the coming out this forces on her and new powers all at once. The books are intense and doesn’t pull its punches on the things Danny goes through, but her journey is beautiful and I love her so much.

Beauty Queens by Libba Bray  Various MCs | Drama | Humor | YA This is an ensemble cast and includes a wlw couple and a trans girl, all of whom are pretty damn cool. On their flight to their next competition, the plane these beauty queens are on crashes, and those who survive get stranded on a totally-supposedly-deserted island. This is a fun novel that had, to me, a very Hitchhiker’s Guide sort of humor to it. It was a really fun read, and the author narrates herself and is really fun.

Annie on my Mind by Nancy Garden wlw mc | contemporary | coming of age | YA The good kid becomes good friends with a girl she met outside of school, but she begins to realize she has more than just friendly feelings for the girl. Being in the 90s, she finds it’s not so easy to be the good kid and pursue this interest.

Her Royal Highness by Rachel Hawkins bi MC | Contemporary | Romance | Class Romance | YA MC leaves Texas, USA to finish her last year of high school in a prestigious Scottish school where she ends up being roommates with an actual princess with whom she doesn’t start the year out on good terms with.  

Ash by Malinda Lo wlw MC | Fantasy | Coming of Age | YA Cinderella retelling where the fairies aren’t guaranteed to help and the prince just might not be who Cinderella wants after all. A very internal journey, quite enchanting. I really need to go back and revisit this soon.

Juliet Takes a Breath by Gabby Rivera Lesbian MC | Coming of Age | YA Juliet leaves home for the summer to spend in Oregon with a writer who inspired Juliet’s journey into feminism and helped her embrace her lesbianism. She learns along the way though that adults are not infallible, and that this writer has a large blind spot when it comes to Juliet’s culture and the intersection of race and feminism. All this after having come out to her family and dealing with the fallout of that far from home.

Carry On by Rainbow Rowell mlm MC | Fantasy | Romance | YA This story feels like a sort of ‘What if the Harry Potter books were more inclusive and also had some parody in its magical world’ story. But it jumps right to the last book and the good stuff. This felt like fanfiction in the best way (and is appropriate given that it was written after the book Fangirl wherein the MC is writing fanfiction of this universe kinda. It’s complicated but good!)

Kushiel Phedre Series by Jacqueline Carey bi MC | Fantasy | Epic Fantasy | Kink | Political Intrique A woman born with a flaw that set her on the path of being indentured as a child to a man who sees love and sex as another means to gather political intel. Down this road lies intrigue, betrayal, and love.  

Nevernight Chronicles by Jay Kristoff bi MC | Fantasy | Revenge  Worth mentioning is that the author does not ID as any kind of LGBTQIA+ and in my opinion, that especially shows in the last installment of the series. I would suggest trigger warnings for the entire series if you have any as there is sex and violence. In a world with three suns and almost never night, a girl with a kinship for shadows seeks out the skills to kill those who destroyed her family.

Her Body and Other Parties by Maria Carmen Machado Various | Short Stories | Surreal | Contemporary   Don’t know how to summarize well given they are a series of short stories, but they are haunting and telling and beautiful, and even though I rarely do short stories, I absolutely fell in love with these.

The Night’s Watch by Sarah Waters Various | Ensemble Cast | Period Drama English WWII  Unfortunately, I read this in 2017 and it follows the stories of four different characters, two of whom are lesbians. I don’t remember their archs well enough to provide a proper summary. This story tends to be a more internal character study of each of the characters and what it might have been like living at the time they did. It was really good though if you like that sort of thing! 

Tipping the Velvet by Sarah Waters Lesbian MC | Period Drama | Romance | Coming of Age Taking place in the Victorian era, Nan leaves her coastal, oyster fishing home after becoming infatuated with Kitty, performer who sings dressed as a man. She discovers herself in the big city as she works as Kitty’s attendant, but nothing ever stays the same, and when she finds her and Kitty’s desires on how to handle their feelings differ errevocably, Nan is suddenly left adrift.

The above are all focused in one way or another on the LGBTQ+ character in a prominent way where the character’s queerness is made explicit in the text. Below is going to be the audiobooks I’ve read/listened to where I have felt there is strong evidence that a character is portrayed as LGBT+. Some will have been made canon by the author after the fact, others have been widely regarded as portrayed that way, and a couple are just how I interpreted them.

Trouble with Kings by Sherwood Smith Fantasy | Romance | Slow Burn | YA A princess of fortune who has been courted for her wealth all her life, Flian is quite done with dalliance. But that doesn’t mean others are done with her. Caught in the middle of a political intrigue between two... maybe three... possibly four??? rivaling kingdoms, she finds her wealth pursued in less than ethical manners and ends up a player herself on the field of political import. Is it even possible in the chaos of all this to find love along the way? Flian herself repeatedly shows no interest in romance and while able to remark upon attraction, never seems to have any herself until she realizes she has fallen for someone, someone she realizes a bit late she’s had a coming together of the minds for. For this reason, my personal interpretation of this character is demi-sexual. 

The Protector of the Small Series by Tamora Pierce Fantasy | Coming of Age | YA  Keladry of Mindelan wants to become the second lady knight in history. The trainer at the castle doesn’t believe girls are cut out for it, and the boys don’t seem the most ready for a lady knight in training either. But Kel is determined to make her place in the world. Throughout the course of the series, while she engages in some light dalliances, she finds herself disinterested in relationships and has been confirmed by the author since the series was published to be asexual. 

The Deed of Paksenarrion by Elizabeth Moon Fantasy | D&D-esque | Epic Fantasy | Coming of Age  Paksennarrion, a sheep farmer’s daughter, rebels against her father upon hearing of the engagement he made for her and runs away to a local contract militia company to start her career as a warrior. Strength and strategy aren’t the only things she’ll need on this life’s path, but also a faith she didn’t know she was capable of. I don’t know that the author has ever said anything on the matter, but in most circles you will find that Paks is generally regarded as aro/ace and is pretty explicitly stated several times throughout the series that she simply has never had the compulsion. 

A Beautiful Poison by Lydia Kang Period Drama/Mystery (early 1900s) | Coming of Age | Mystery Three people on the cusp of adulthood, with a complicated history of friendship from different stations in life, come together to try to unravel the mystery of strange deaths happening around them while trying to navigate what shapes the rest of their lives will take. Of the two man lady characters, one repeatedly struck me as bisexual, and the other as asexual. This is one where I’m brining my own lens to the story, and I don’t know that the author did this with intent.

There’s a fair chance that I am forgetting some audiobooks and haven’t included all I’ve read. I would also say that anything not marked with a YA may have want of some trigger warnings. If someone wants to know, just let me know which warnings you have need of and I’ll try to do my best to remember if that content is included in the book. I of course cannot remember everything and don’t know everyone’s limits, but I can try. But for certain the non young adult stories have content that can be heavy or dark or twisted. 

[randomminer]

HPHM MC X Preferred Ship Questions

Sorry this got a little long in places.

1) Who is your MC preferred significate other?

-Charlie Weasley [[MORE]]

2) When did they start developing feelings for each other?

-sloooowly

-Svari is aro/demi and the typical depictions of romance really make her uncomfortable

-Charlie is aro/ace and while he doesn't usually experience sexual or romantic urges, he does still feel strong connections with companions, in particular Svari

-Svari was the first to realize she may be drawn to Charlie in a way that's "more than friends", but where as many would become a blushing mess upon experiencing a first crush, Svari was terrified

-she didn't know what to do with these emotions and urges that just fell in her lap

-the only people she confided in were her Aunt Minerva, Penny, and Rowan

-at best, she was clumsy with her "flirting", much to her friends' amusement

-to make it worse, Charlie was completely oblivious to her attempts

-she tried shifting her affections to others, Barnaby Lee and Talbot Winger being examples, but her heart always seemed to pull her back to Charlie

-while Svari never lacked confidence in her skills and appearance, she didn't see herself as a worthy match for this young man she had become drawn to

-she had resolved herself to keeping her feelings secret and just being happy for Charlie with whoever he fell for and made him happy

-she tried to convince herself that that would be enough

3) Who confessed their feelings and where did it happen?

-Svari didn't actually voice her feelings to Charlie until well after Hogwarts

-it happened at the Burrow, at a small farewell party for Charlie, a few days before he would actually leave for Romania

-the two were sitting by themselves in the garden and Charlie was excitedly yammering on about dragons and his dream job, talking about a mile a minute

-Svari listened with a strained smile, feeling a bitter sweet ache building in her heart

-Charlie would be leaving and with every sentence, Svari could feel her resolve crumbling away

-midway through one of Charlie's rants, the dam finally burst and Svari basically regurgitated years of suppressed feelings into two minutes, a silent Charlie wide eyed and blindsided

-after much embarrassment, reassuring, and talk, the two decided to give it a shot and see where things would go

4) How long had they had those feelings? 

-while Svari had been grappling with her feelings for years, Charlie just kinda stumbled into it and thought "eh, what the hell, could be fun"

-the relationship would be slow, mostly long distance, and little more than hand holding and cuddling when in person, but both were content with that

-Charlie would set his boundaries and Svari would respect them. If either wanted to try something more, it was always with consent from the other

5) Where was their first date to and how did it go?

-neither was very keen on the idea of flowers, chocolate, and dancing under the stars

-they just did what they would do as friends...only now they were more than that

-in this case, they were packing the last of Charlie's things and had lunch

-Svari felt the need to give Charlie a gift to take with him to Romania

-after their "date" she handed him woven leather bracelet similar to her own, but with a poorly made dragon picture burned into the side

-he'd laughed, but was touched

6) What was the most awkward moment they have shared?

-definitely the first kiss

-it was the first Christmas holiday that Charlie had been back since going to the sanctuary

-the remaining Weasley family members and some wizarding neighbors were gathered at a magical pub for a neighborhood Christmas Eve party

-and cheesey as it sounds, Charlie and Svari got caught under the magic mistletoe that had been floating around looking for victims

-Charlie had noticed it first and silently gestured at it with his head

-Svari didn't know where to look, what to do with her hands, was stumbling over her words

- their relationship was still so new, she didn't want to make Charlie uncomfortable, and at the same time was overwhelmed herself

-so imagine her complete surprise when he was the one to gently pull her in by the collar of her jacket, plant a quick but loving smooch on her lips, smile, then got back to the party like nothing had happened

7) When did the curse gang found out about them?

-Svari had talked about her feelings before with her Aunt Minerva, Penny, and Rowan

-Bill has eyes, has been around them all through Hogwarts, and isn't an idiot

-everyone else either found out at Charlie's farewell party or through gossip

8) Do they follow the same career path after Hogwarts or follow different choices?

-Charlie, of course, went to Romania and worked at the dragon sanctuary

-Svari, due to her half-breed status, found it hard to hold a job and mostly stuck around the UK

-she did become part of a group who aid and rehabilitate half breeds and turned humans (it was through this group that Svari met and befriended Remus Lupin) her volunteer work kept her busy and happy

-up until after the Second Wizarding War, they mostly kept in contact via owls, fireplaces, and holidays

-while they would have liked to be closer and seen each other more, each had their own calling.

9) What song(s) describes their relationship with one another?

-"Another Night on Mars" by The Maine

-"You're My Best Friend" by Queen

-"Head over Feet" by Alanis Morissette

10) Do they have any inside jokes with each other?

-the amount of times the two of them and Bill have snuck into the Prefect's Bathroom as a group has become something of a joke

-"going to the toilet, Charlie? Should I grab Bill? Just like old times?"

11) Have they worked together with finding the curse vaults or do they try to convince the other not to endanger themselves?

- To Svari, there isn't a Hogwarts story worth telling that doesn't begin with the words "Charlie and I"

- finding the vaults is no exception

12) When did they have their first kiss? 

-see #6

13) Is either of them a member of the quidditch team? Do they root for their house or each other?

-at the current time in Hogwarts Mystery, Charlie is a seeker for Gryffindor and Svari is a beater for Ravenclaw

-they cheer for each other when they are up against other houses, but when it's Gryffindor vs. Ravenclaw, they know loser wears winner's house colors the next day and winner buys loser butterbeer

14) Do they participate in any of the same clubs or made any of their own?

-between the vaults, Quidditch, and school? I don't see them being part of clubs anyway

15) Are they reserve about sharing affection or open about it?

-neither has a problem with public displays of affection, but their's are pretty tame in comparison to most of their friends

16) Have they ever had a fight? Was it small or big? How did they solve it?

-any couple who says they'll never have a fight isn't going to last

-fights are hard, but they help a couple grow

-Svari and Charlie are no exception

-one of their larger ones happened while Svari was in the hospital

-while trying to help a couple of half-breed teens who were quickly becoming involved in some bad stuff, Svari had gotten caught up in a battle between aurors and dark wizards

-she managed to get the two teens to safety, but had been hit with several spells and almost died

-she was in St. Mungo's for three weeks

-Charlie had come as soon as he could, but was very angry at the risks she was taking

-going into a dangerous neighborhood, that was a known dark wizard gang's territory, at night, with no back up, to try and talk sense into a pair of teens who probably wouldn't change anyway, was one of the stupidest things she had done

-they had tried to keep a civil conversation, but it esscalated into a loud back and forth about the dangers of both their jobs and the strain it put on both of them

-at one point, Svari felt her "other" form beginning to surface and in frustration threw a small vase of flowers at the wall by Charlie and told him to leave, which he did

-they didn't talk for several weeks, but both were hurting

-after Svari was released from the hospital, but not back to work yet, the two teens came to her for advice and options.

-feeling a wave of relief that these kids were going to be ok, Svari decided to ride the good vibes and go fix things with Charlie

-when she got to the Romanian sanctuary, Charlie was being treated for minor dragon related injuries (at this point I'm thinking it was what would eventually become the shiny burn mark on his arm, as described in the GoF when he first met Harry)

-their reversed positions was a good ice breaker

-they sat outside and just talked for hours

-they agreed that while the worry will always be there, it wasn't right for them to hold the other from following their path

-they would need to be more careful, because they both had someone who would be hurt if something happened to them

-after everything was said, Svari pressed her forehead to Charlie's and told him she loved him for the first time

17) Do they get jealous easy? And if so, who?

You tell me.

-Since Charlie wasn't one for dating, Svari never really had to battle with feelings of jealousy (except maybe with dragons)

-Charlie, on the other hand, would be supportive, but withdrawn

-this wasn't territory he was used to and he may not have entirely understood why he felt upset when Svari was romantically involved with someone else

-he wasn't feeling so much "hey, I love you, and want to be with you forever and always, that should be me with you"

-it was more like when your best friend or a sibling suddenly starts giving all their attention to a girlfriend/boyfriend and you feel left out, betrayed, and conflicted

18) Do they sneak into each other’s dorms without being found?

-not usually, there are much cooler places to hang out in a magical school

19) Have they broken rules to have fun?

-they have snuck into the Forbidden Forest so much that I think the prefects have given up trying to stop them

-"whatever, just don't lose us any house points...and bring a jacket"

20) Who is the most protective between them?

-they are both very protective of each other

-if the situation called for it, either of them would fight like hell for the other

[kotoriqueen]

Hot Zumba Instructor McClaimed My Heart From @coffee-for-himchan‘s tumblr - the 101 Drabble Prompts in many different flavours!

1 - "Put a warning label on yourself, will ya? Like “hot damn” or something might just be appropriate." --- Matt gets Shiro to go to a zumba class because the cute zumba instructor. There he meets one Lance McClain.  --- All characters are 18+ in this fic.

Also on AO3!!

“You should take a zumba class,” Matt had suggested one day when he was spotting Shiro during his reps.

“Yeah?” Shiro grunts and pants as he lifts the weight, trying to keep his breathing even as he lifted. “Why is that?”

“You’re always here lifting weights, or running on the treadmill. It’d be nice to try something new,” Matt shrugs. “Plus there’s a cute boy that runs it.”

Shiro rests his weight back on the rack, moving to sit up and grabbing his towel and water bottle from where it sat next to the bench. Matt’s always trying to introduce him to his friends or cute guys he comes across to try to get him to do something other than going to the GYM and working at a bakery with his childhood friend, Allura, and her uncle, Coran. It was easy for him to gain a few pounds here and there, taste testing all the sweets Allura makes. Shiro doesn’t have a set diet, but he still wants to burn off the calories from the sweets he eats there.

But that’s besides the point. Shiro’s not looking to date anyone at this time. He knows Matt’s heart is in the right place, but--

“Trust me,” Matt says, breaking Shiro from his thoughts. “He’s cute, has hips that don’t lie, and he’s bi.”

“But that also means I don’t have a chance,” Shiro tries to explain. “If he’s cute, and his hips don’t lie, that means thousands in that class are swooning over him already.”

“Don’t be so sure. Look, all I’m saying is go to one zumba class. If you don’t like him, you don’t have to go again.”

“And will you stop trying to set me up with people?”

“Nope.”

Shiro groans.

~☆~

He signs up for the next available zumba class. Matt comes with him, too, so he could point out who he’s talking about. There’s tons of people, and most of them are giggling and smiling wide. Some ladies are wearing tank tops and yoga pants, men in muscle shirts and basketball shorts, which makes Shiro think he’s over dressed in his short sleeved shirt and sweatpants, but Matt assures him that everyone has their own fashion sense when coming to these classes.

The door opens, and Shiro watches as a tan skinned, brown haired guy walk to the front of the class. He’s wearing a white crop top with blue stripes on the chest and a pair of baggy sweatpants. Shiro admits, he’s a little thankful they have a spot up close because oh my goodness, Shiro can see how bright his blue eyes are. Matt tugs on Shiro’s sleeve, and when Shiro looks over, there’s a wide grin on his face.

“That’s him.” he whispers. “Lance McClain.”

“Alright! I see a lot of new faces here, and all of you are gorgeous, really,” this Lance says, clapping his hands together. His greeting earns a few sheepish laughs from the crowd. “For those who are new to this, I’m Lance, and I’ve been doing zumba since I was small. My mamá had introduced me to it with mommy and me zumba courses and I’ve loved it since. Usually I have two co-leaders with me, but they’re on a week long trip so I’m by lonesome. Or, not really, ‘cause I have all you guys. Anyway, enough about me-- We’re going to start off with basic stretches, get our bodies moving, and then we’ll go ahead and then work through some choreography.”

They start with stretching out their arms, their thighs and legs; doing squats to work out their buttocks and finally their  hips, doing small circular motions, as if they’re hula hooping. Shiro was never great at moving his hips, and he really doesn’t get the hang of it, but once everyone is warmed up, Lance walks them through some basic movements, taking it one step at a time. After a while, and people were confident with trying it with music, Lance puts Despacito on, and at some point during the song, Lance starts singing along to it. Shiro ends up being entranced by Lance’s body, and how he moves, right down to his hips. Like Matt said, his hips don’t lie. Shiro feels his throat getting dry and his heart racing. It’s as if Matt has a sixth sense, because he elbows Shiro in the side to get his attention, and he has the most shit eating grin on his face.

“You like?”

“Let’s just say he McClaimed my heart.”

Matt snorts and resists the urge to burst out with laughter in the middle of class, “That was awful.”

~☆~

A couple songs later, the class was able to freestyle however they pleased while Lance looks over them. The music is loud enough for everyone to listen to the beat, but low enough for people to make conversation with one other. Shiro and Matt end up taking a break during the freestyle course, where Shiro chugged down water and wiped his face off with his towel. At some point, Lance decides to watch from the sidelines, standing next to Matt and Shiro, leaning against the wall.

“You brought a friend this time, Matt,” Lance says, making conversation. “He’s good.”

“Please. Shiro can’t move his hips like you do.”

“Shiro?” Lance’s eyebrows raise, looking at Shiro up and down. “As in Keith’s big brother Shiro?”

“You know Keith?”

“He’s one of Lance’s co-instructors,” Matt explains. “Yes, your baby brother can move, Shiro.”

“Hairstyle out of date, but he can work it,” Lance comments. “As pretty as he is, he’s aro-ace, but we’re good friends!”

“I’m going to join the others,” Matt says, patting Shiro’s shoulder. “Converse with the pretty boy.”

Lance laughs and slaps Matt’s arm lightly before he leaves, and Lance inches closer to Shiro, “I can tell it was the first time for you doing zumba. Will you be coming back?”

“I don’t know, seems dangerous,” Shiro shrugs. “Especially with someone like you here. You need to put a warning label on yourself. Like hot damn or something should be appropriate.”

“I--” Lance is speechless, which is needless to say, and his face lights up the brightest shade of red. “Oh my god. Shiro, at least take me out on a date first before you check me out.”

“I mean, if you’re available..?”

“I’d say damn straight, but it’d be ironic to say since I’m bi,” Lance shrugs but smiles brightly. “Class ends in ten minutes. I’ll give you my number then and we’ll plan something.”

Shiro’s grin is wide, “Sounds like a date.”

[jaimistoryteller]

2017 Complete Set of Author Confessions

All 31 answers are below the cut!

1. Introduce yourself & your WIP!

My names Jaimi, use whatever pronouns you’re comfortable with for me as I have no preference. I spend a lot of time writing. Some for work, some for pleasure, a lot for stress relief. I also do pencil and digital sketches.

I’ve got 22 WIPs that are active,  49 that are inactive, and countless other ideas to work on. So, I think I will go with Paths to Home, one of my ‘inactive’ WIPs that I am very partial to.

Current summary (which might later change, again):

One wrong choice was all it took for Iov to destroy his life. Now he has a chance to set things right. Then there is the impossible: he meets soulmates, and despite his failings, they want him. How is he going to be everything they need when he can barely be what he needs for himself?

Due to the actions of his family, Sparks now has more responsibility on his shoulders than he’s ever wanted. If not for the support from his friends and ex, things could have gone a lot worse. What’s the odds that he would meet his soulmates while trying to do the right thing by his family?

2.  Do you create your own characters or base them off an existing person?

A bit of both. It all depends on my story and the characters within.

Then there is the fact I know multiple versions of them, not all of which I share with the world. Some of my characters I design as D&D characters to start with, before converting them into story characters, because D&D is a great way to build characters.

Some of  my characters are a mix of different people I know.  Or I will check with people I know who have had similar life experiences to what I am writing to make sure that the character is written in a respectful manner.

I also do a lot of research to make sure that characters are fleshed out and an individual, not just a stereotype.

3. What’s your great MC feature?

Since I started with Paths to Home, I’ll stick with that.

There are technically six main characters, two separate but connected triads.

Triad 1:

Iov Asmik - he lives in constant fear, yet manages to do his job well. He’s a caring person, something that has caused him grief in the past, but is something both his soulmates love about him.

Emere Tereiti - she’s blunt, sassy, and affectionate to those she cares for. She’s very family oriented and loves traveling. Her beliefs are a bit elastic, coming from different parts of her family traditions.

Pavel Zherdev - while quiet and unassuming, he’s got a core of steel. He feels exceedingly lucky to have met both of his soulmates through his work.

Triad 2:

Afanas ‘Sparks’ Balakhnov -  his best friend describes him as loyal, fierce, protective and deadly. He’s not always sure those are good traits, but they work well for him.

Sitara Misra - a cheerful woman who felt almost a compulsion to travel. She believes in respecting others traditions, and feels that only through communication can people learn to live together and accept each other.

Nazreen Awn Dastyar - in many ways she’s very traditional, and that leads to a bad match. However she’ll do anything to protect her daughter and it end up leading to her meeting her soulmates in the long run.

4. How do you select flaws for your characters?

Honestly? I don’t. I let them tell me about them.

Sometimes what seems like an advantage is actually a flaw. Sometimes what seems like a flaw really isn’t. While I do have character types I seem to be drawn to (deadly people who like kids *cough cough* seems to be a favorite), I let them tell me all about themselves. Sometimes it takes talking it out with someone else (thank you my lovely writing partners) because they are being rather tight lipped about themselves, but I have very few characters that I can just shift between stories and come up with same tale.

Some of the most common flaws for characters I’ve written in Paths to Home: arrogance (yes Aither, dear, we’re looking at you), temper problems (still looking at you Aither, along with Jon, Alec, and Sparks), fear (I know, how’s that a flaw? it is if you let fear rule your life, *glances at Iov*), and inability to adapt (more names than I care to list) for a few of them.

5: What year(s) is your WIP set? Why did you pick that time frame?

It starts in 2001 and goes through 2014 so far.

The events in Different Paths that spawn Paths to Home happen in 2001.

It may end up split into different stories, but for now, it’s all one long tale that covers from the beginning of Iov and Sparks relationship, through the years to when they figure things out with their respective soulmates, and each other.

6. How would your WIP change if set 1500 years in the future?

Um, I’d have to move the entire series as they are all very closely tied together.

As for changes:

It’d probably be in space or on a colony

There would be even more diversity (although I am quite proud of my current diversity. Sparks & Iov are Russian, Pavel is Ukrainian, Emere is Maori, Sitara is Hindi, Nazreen is Iranian Muslim, and that’s just the main characters, the secondary and background characters have even more diversity)

The base soulmate concept might do some changing, how would soulmates evolve in a universe with so many other species?

Probably way better medical and mental health services available

I’m sure there are other things, but those are the ones I can think of off the top of my head.

7. Is your MC an introvert or extrovert?

Alright, so rather than just doing the introvert & extrovert, I’ll do the MBTI for each.

Iov Asmik - Introvert  -  ISFJ T

Emere Tereiti - Extrovert - ENFJ A

Pavel Zherdev - Introvert with extrovert tendencies - INFJ A

Afanas ‘Sparks’ Balakhnov - depends on the day - ISTP A or ESTP A

Sitara Misra - Extrovert - ENFP A

Nazreen Awn Dastyar - Introvert - INFP T

8. Are you a fan of the happily ever after or the realistic ending?

I like both equally. It all depends on the story that I am working on.

Happily ever after gives the hope of things being good and pleasant once the trails and hardships are done.

Realistic endings show that things may be right, or they may go wrong, but there is always another chapter to the story.

Paths to Home is a ‘happy for now’ ending. Where the story ends is with things going positively. There could be future stories that reveal what happens after this tale ends.

9. Pick a theme song for your antagonist

Okay, there isn’t really a primary antagonist in Paths to Home, as it is Man vs Self for the conflict. While there are situational ones that affect the Man vs Self, I’m not gonna figure out songs for them. Instead I will do a song for each of the primary characters.

These songs are from those I currently know, and are liable to change as the story goes or I hear new music. The names are links to the YouTube song

Iov Asmik - Longer by Caleb Kane

Emere Tereiti - All Soul Night by Loreena McKennitt

Pavel Zherdev - Hanging by a Moment by Lifehouse

Afanas ‘Sparks’ Balakhnov - Down and Out by Tantric

Sitara Misra - Xin Ren by  Ramin Djawadi

Nazreen Awn Dastyar - Crawling in the Dark by Hoobastank

10. Sock Sunday, share a pic of your favorite socks or slippers that keep your feet toasty while writing.

Umm, I don’t wear socks around my house, my cats steal them, but here’s my foot blanket instead.

11. Character Swap! YOU are now the MC

Errr. I have six MC’s, so lets see what I can do with this.

Sparks - getting swapped for him would be stressful, I’m sure, however of the six primary characters he’s the one I am most like personality wise, so I’d probably do alright as him. As I am ace-pan, I could easily deal with having two female soulmates as long as they don’t mind the lack of sex.

Iov - I am much more dominant in my personality, so I wouldn’t have ended up in the situation he is in. However, I probably would have ended up on my own or in prison because his family sucks ass. I’d enjoy having his soulmates for myself. Emeri and I would have sass matches, and Pavel would be the calming force.

Nazreen - hmmm. I’m non-religious, so that negates part of what led to the situation she starts off in, nor do I have/want children, however I think I’d do alright, it would just take patience and understanding. Having Sparks and Sitara as soulmates would work well, they could have any sex needed, and I would have cuddle partners. It’d be interesting to see ow I would relate to her family.

Sitara - while she is religious, her beliefs are similar to what I believe in life. She’s got the sort of calm that I wish I had, and I think that I’d have a difficult time with her role within the tale.

Pavel - he’s the one I am second most like personality wise. In a lot of ways I think I’d do alright as his role, however there are a lot of thing he would have dealt with better than me.

Emere - while she is my favorite of the six, and we have a lot of things in common, there are also a lot of things that we have nothing in common about. I’d do alright in her role, but she is definitely a far nicer person than me.

12. How much romance is in your WIP? Share a moment with us!

Well, a lot and a little. As it’s a story with two different soulmate triads getting to know each other and develop their relationship, there is definitely romance. However as it is my aro take on romance, it might not come across so much

Sparks, Sitara & Nazreen

Shaking his head, he returns to the original situation, he’s got two soulmates and a daughter. He should do the proper thing and offer marriage. First he’ll need to get a ring for each. Actually this could be the perfect time to get them something that can be used for self defense. He’s been with Sitara longer, so she’s the one he should ask first, and he should make sure that her ring is something that she will enjoy. He’s still thinking of that fact when Iov comes in, a sign that the day is about to start since his assistant is very prompt for showing up in the morning, even after nearly a decade working for him.

Iov & Emere (cause I don’t yet have one for all three of them)

"May I?" She asks softly, shifting just a little closer.

Slowly his eyes open despite the fact he is terrified of what he will see but they are just too moist to stay shut. What he does see takes his breath away. Emere's got a luffa in her hand, and a bottle of his favorite scented body wash in the other. She looks almost pleased when their eyes meet through the steam. Dark eyes gleaming like polished jet. Her dark mocha cream skin almost shimmers in the water. Ebony hair is plastered to her skin, hiding much of her torso.   "Hello Koa," she hums softly. Blushing, he ducks his head, "Hi."

13.  Is your WIP more of a fine wine, cheap bear, or mixed drink?

Hmmmm, hard liquor is my immediate answer, however as that isn’t an option & as Paths to Home is going to be massive, I’m going to say it all depends on where at in the story you’re at.

There are moments that are like a cheap beer: a slow build that leaves an emotional hang over after setting it down.

There are moments that are like a fine wine: watching the way their relationships develop and how they connect is worth savoring.

Then there are moments like a mixed drink: one minute your fine, the next you feel like you've been sucker punched.

14. How evil is your antagonist on a scale of 1-10?

Well, there isn’t any one antagonist in this tale, and each one varies on their levels of how evil they are. However here are a few of them that occur throughout the tale. Have the alignment based on D&D 3/3.5 standards and the numbers being 1 least & 10 worst.

Fetis Ilarionovich Asmik - NE 8 - father of Iov, he is a cold, cruel, and abusive man 

Asyar Maroun - LE 5 - Nazreen’s first husband, he portrayed himself as something he wasn’t to her family and revealed his true nature when she was at his mercy, or lack there of.

Karl Bychkov - LE 6 - he was one of the Balakhnov competitors, when Sparks takes over he tries attacking the Balakhnov complex, despite the fact it is mostly children.

Marharyta Kucher - NE 2 - social worker who tries to cause problems about a single 27 year old man having custody of 31 children

Heloisa Wyatt Paiva - NG - she’s not an antagonist in the traditional sense of the word, however she helps Iov deal with his trauma and mental health concerns, making her his primary antagonist 

15. Word Count Report

Currently 50k and not even close to 1/5 done.

The vast majority of what I have is bits and pieces.

I also have a very detailed outline, which is not my normal way to write, but with this story being so bloody huge, I figured it was a good idea or I would end up constantly having to go back and add things to replace stuff missed.

16. Does your WIP take place in one or multiple settings?

Multiple settings. While there is one primary setting, the Balakhnov Complex in Moscow, Russia (made up for the story), there are a lot of other scenes that take place in various spots across the world.

Emere is Maori and travels as a private tutor before making her way to Moscow, so there are several places because of her job

Sitara is an Indian Hindu, she travels a bit to visit her family and when she takes a teaching job in the Balakhnov building.

Nazreen - Iranian Muslim who originally leaves home because of a marriage

Then there are other settings for different plot points

17. How does your MC feel about snow?

Sparks - he doesn’t care one way or another. He knows how to ski, snowboard, and snowshoe.

Nazreen - she doesn’t know what to think of snow the first time she sees more than just the lightest covering, she enjoys it with plenty of layers on and enjoys learning how to snowshoe though she feels clumsy at first.

Sitara - she sees it as a natural wonder and natures way of cleaning the slate, winter is when she deep cleans her greenhouse, though she carefully tends her plants to keep them from freezing and is thankful for the specialized glass which helps retain heat and generate electricity

Iov - definitely lives in the wrong climate, he hates the snow because it makes him even colder than he already is. He doesn’t mind the wetness or even the whiteness, but definitely can’t stand the cold.

Pavel - he likes snow, finds it fun to play in, but would be perfectly fine with less snow. He’s thrilled that he lives and works in the same building so he doesn’t have to worry about accidents in the snow.

Emere - she finds snow amusing. While she’d like to encourage Iov to go outside more, she doesn’t push too much because she knows he doesn’t take leaving the building all that well and easily gets sick.

18. Shout out an author day! Who do you build a snowman with?

I haven’t built one in years, but the last time I did so was with my grandpa.

Before that I built them with either neighbors or cousins.

While I it’s not asked, I’m still going to go with which MCs like to build snowmen or not.

Sparks - insists on taking the kids old enough to play in the snow on the roof to build snowmen

Sitara - she has no problem watching as they build them, but has no interest in doing so herself

Nazreen - she doesn’t understand why someone would want to make men out of snow, but allows Safiya to join the other children when she wants to

Iov - avoids snow whenever possible, grudgingly makes a snowman with his soulmates

Pavel - loves making snowmen, finds it relaxing

Emere - she enjoys Pavel’s excitement but is indifferent herself.

19. The Grinch stole your manuscript. How do you persuade him to give it back?

Errr. I wouldn’t. I would either rewrite it or steal it back. Possibly trick him into returning it. I think, however, that the Grinch and I would get along as I am not the biggest Christmas person due to things that have gone wrong in the past.

20. What kind of cookie best describes your MC.

Sparks - sugar cookie - comes in one really base flavor and is easy to make, but can be adapted to most situations

Sitara -  Bredela - she’s calm and often considered serene but is multifaceted like the many flavors of this tasty cookie.

Nazreen -  macaron - she’s quiet and shy, but like the cookie colorful and layered, it’s just a matter of getting to know her.

Iov - oatmeal - he seems simple on the outside but inside is way more complicated.

Pavel - chocolate chip - like the cookie that can be complicated or simple, he always retains his soft base even through the flavorful additions.

Emere - gingerbread - spice and sweet in equal measures, can be soft or hard as the situation calls for

21. What kind of cookie best describes your antagonist?

Welp, still don’t have the traditional antagonists but using the four mentioned:

Fetis - burnt sugar cookie - he looks like he’s trust worthy and decent to people who don’t know him but is truthfully hard, stale, and burned on the insides

Asyar - biscuit - plain and simple, but likes to dress himself up to make himself look better

Marharyta - butter cookie - has the potential to taste great as long as things are done right, same as she has the potential to be a good person but does cruel things for the power rush

Heloisa  - sugar cookie - simple and easy going, she occasionally likes to decorate or dress up, but mostly prefers to just be herself

22. Who does your MC kiss under the mistletoe?

*snickers* well that could be an interesting situation indeed.

Sparks - he doesn’t care who it is, friends he’ll kiss on the cheek or hand, his soulmates on the lips, forehead, or cheek depending on the situation

Sitara - she will make a show of kissing her partner, mostly on the cheeks, but she’s not bothered with a chaste kiss to the lips

Nazreen - she’s uncomfortable with the tradition and tends to avoid mistletoe as much as she can

Iov - he’s terrified of over stepping his bounds, and avoids the mistletoe whenever possible

Pavel - he enjoys any excuse to kiss his soulmates, although he understands Iov’s limits so he tends to keep it

Emere - she doesn’t care about mistletoe and will ignore the custom depending on who she is near. She will also make a person back down if they are trying to force someone else into kissing them.

23. What is the greatest gift you could give your MC?

That’s a bit complicated. Pretty much none of them have physical gifts  that they could be given. Instead each has an emotional gift

Sparks - peace of mind. He wasn’t even 30 when he ended up with 31 children under the age of sixteen with him as custodian. Most the time he feels like he’s doing alright, but sometimes

Sitara - sense of humor. She is a literal person when it comes to words spoken, which isn’t always a good thing, and occasionally sets of misunderstandings.

Nazreen - self-confidence. She has a hard time adapting to life in the complex, mostly because she doesn’t understand how it can be so smooth.

Iov - trust. He has a difficult time trusting that anything good in his life will last, mostly he feels like he is unworthy

Pavel - support. He loves and supports Iov and Emere, and sometimes forgets that he needs the same from them

Emere - patience. While she does good with children and Iov, she’s not always as patient as she should be with other people, particularly adult males, which makes her feel bad when she gets snappy with Pavel.

24. Author confession is on Christmas break!

Since there isn’t an official question, have a picture of the first triad in Paths to Home: Nazreen, Sparks, and Sitara

25. Author confession is on Christmas break!

Since there isn’t an official question, have a picture of the second triad in Paths to Home: Emere, Iov and Pavel

26. Favorite moment of 2017

I’m not sure if that’s personal moment or writing, so I’ll do both

Personal: Getting back in touch with my best friend and getting fan art from one of my stories, they’re about equal. 

In Writing: managing to knock my WIP count from 34 to 22. That took a lot of effort and I still managed to pull it off while adding almost 70+ new works as well. 

27. Best book you read this last year?

Hmmmm. Best book, I’m gonna go with one of my old favorites: Take a Thief by Mercedes Lackey

Best fanfic: Alec & Fenrir by @leavesdancing

28. What is your biggest writing accomplishment this year?

.I’m very pleased with my two Bond event sets of stories:

Moments in Another Life: A series of connected short stories and prompt tales about the Q, Alec, James, Harold, John, and Jared. Each one builds on the previous one.

31 Days of Bond Flash Fics - a series of short stories based a variety of prompts. (Despite the fact that December went horridly, I still managed to get all the prompts done before the end of 2017)

29. Any regrets with your WIP so far?

Nope. Not a one.

However I have changed a few spots because they did not fit as they were within the tale. Sometimes I keep them for if they were to happen in other stories, other times they get completely deleted.

Although I did put Iov through hell with my writing partners assistance. The poor boy.

30. Use a GIF to express how you feel about the new year.

Can’t go wrong with Blanche, she gives some of the best reactions.

31. Happy New Years Eve! Selfie Sunday! 2018 Goals?

I don’t do selfies, but here’s a picture of my eldest cats Sota & Taz, helping me by sleeping on my mouse.

2018 Goals

I know I did a goals list already, but some goals off the top of my mind, and I will compare them later to see how similar the two lists are.

I wanna get down to 15 WIPs. Some of the WIPs I want to finish:

Letters and Cards (John/James S. omegaverse) John and James spend a year writing to each other rather than talking in person, though they exchange hellos when passing the letters.

Advent (Q/Alec, Q/James, Alec/James, Q/Alec/James)  Relationships change and evolve over time, most of which is expected, but sometimes it's the unexpected that are the most enjoyable changes.

Kingsman Academy (Eggsy/Harry shifter verse)  All shifters are required to take lessons learning how to control their abilities. Harry is a teacher at Kingsman Academy where new shifters between 20 to 25 years of age go for their training, he is also a snow-leopard, one of the rarest varieties of shifter, so he is surprised when the newest student is a snow-leopard as well

Souls Entwined (Max/Jacob, Eggsy/Harry omegaverse) Things are forever changed for Max and Jacob after a chance encounter years before, and a discovery that changes everything.

Trail & Error (Jace/Eric, Chare/Aidan) The story of how Jace & Eric and Aidan & Charlotte work out their relationships

Healing (Peter/Wade, Steve/Bucky, Bucky/Wade) Choices can have life altering affects as most superhumans can attest, so Peter and Steve are both aware of some of the effects that their choices in regards to their favorite assassins are going to have, some of the other effects are completely unexpected

Learning to Live (Vash/Meryl, Knives/Milly) Vash came back after the fight with Knives, and brought him with him, now can the four of them learn to live together as each person deals with their own emotions, the past, and the future. Mostly based off the anime, however there are a few manga snippets thrown in as well

Choices (Hermione/Severus)  A twist on the idea of Time Travel, what happens if Hermione gets covered in time dust from the Time Room and uses a Time Turner to try and help in the war against Voldemort?

I want to finish Unexpected Meeting so I can publish it.

I want to finish Paths to Home so I can start posting it.

*fingers crossed* that this year goes better than last and all my goals can be reached.

[acindra]

Sooo I’m gonna ramble about my ideas for coming up fics under the cut.

kingjoethecat- I love your michael with touch issues, I would love a fic that focused only on it, maybe it all boiling over and yelling at his friends? It would have to end in a happy note thou ~

Anon- I wish you would write a fic where jeremy comforts michael !

I’m gonna combine these two prompts into one fic. I think it’ll probably be about sensory overload in addition to the touch thing. I’m not sure if it’s going to be exactly like my touch thing where I can feel it if people touch me and it leaves behind a ghost feeling until I wipe it off or if it’s just gonna be that Michael doesn’t like people touching his bare skin. Possibly going to include my texture thing. No real solid ideas on it beyond that, yet. 

thisisnotveryspecial- 42.“I’m only here to establish an alibi.”

This is gonna be put into We Only Want To Have A Good Time but I’m not sure the situation it’s gonna be used in yet. My general idea for the fic so far is the next chapter involves them joining Christine and Rich in setting up their campsite/booth for the Relay for Life. “I don’t know how I feel about doing manual labor on our first date.” They’re gonna have problems setting up the tent/canopy because Jeremy is the only tall person there but luckily Jake shows up with a cooler full of drinks and height. 

The next chapter will involve the beginning ceremony for the event which will probably be glossed over because I don’t actually remember too much of it. Everyone in the squad will show up and they’ll do an initial lap or something to scope out some of the other booths. The booth they’re running is for the theatre club and they’re gonna do improv sketches for money, dramatic readings of bad literature (like my immortal or something), as well as selling fake-flower crowns that Brooke and Jenna helped Christine make the day before. Since they didn’t finish making all of them and people are buying them, people will be delegated to make some more in the camping tent so there’ll be some of that eventually.

The next chapter will involve actually going to booths and buying things as well as shenanigans probably. Like. One of the clubs has a ‘jail’ you can spend a dollar to get someone put in and then in order to get them out again you have to spend 5 dollars. The MC for the event will also hold like a soccer game in the middle of the field and like dancing stuff. There’s probably going to be a dress up contest.

anon-  Hello, do you still take prompts? If yes, then its not usual lovey dovey boyfs prompt. I was thinking that in this fandom is needed a fic where Michael has s crush on Jeremy and confesses it in 7th or 8th grade and Jeremy gently rejects him and Michael gets over the crush and they stay best friends and maybe way later they got curious and date each other when they are in college.

thisisnotveryspecial- 48.“You make me want things I can’t have.” 

anon- 42: “ I need a hug. ” and 43: “ You’re special to me. ”

These all will probably be combined. The fic (which I’m currently writing) is loosely based on the first prompt but I don’t think I’m gonna make Michael get over his crush. It’s going to be called Our Loneliness Will Keep Us Warm probably. Basically it starts off with Jeremy buying The Hoodie for Michael’s birthday the summer before they start freshman year. He buys patches of stuff he thinks Michael will enjoy and then gives it to him hoping it’ll be ok. Michael, of course, loves it and is overcome with emotion. Jeremy’s like ‘only the best for my best friend’ and Michael admits that he thinks he’s gay. Jeremy is like that’s cool it’s not like you have a crush on me. And Michael tries to hide it but fails and Jeremy’s just like. OH. UM. OK. But also sorry I don’t think I like you like that. Michael shrugs it off and is all I know, this is a me-problem, don’t worry about it.

Fast forward to year 3 of uni and they live together in an apartment. They’re all still friends with the squip squad but everyone has moved away probably. I’ll probably touch on Christine dumping Jeremy because she’s aro just so I can show that Jeremy still makes jokes about Michael having a crush on him (not in a cruel way but in a ‘i acknowledge this really awkward thing happened and it’s totally fine, we made it through it and are still hella close bffs) as well as the squip stuff but, at least on that front, i’ll try to not make it angsty.

Anyways so Michael has a late class that prevents him from going to clubs on tuesdays but he insists Jeremy goes to the GSA (gay-straight alliance) without him (Michael still participates in the club events for the GSA he just can’t go to the proper meetings) and IDK I might make Rich go to their school too so Jeremy has someone to go with cuz I don’t think he’d go by himself. Anyways, one of the students does a presentation on sexuality, romanticism, and gender identity which gets Jeremy thinking about his own identity. He texts Michael asking if he’s going to come to the Starbucks hangout after the club meeting (which is what we used to do after GSA at my uni) but Michael says he’s gonna head home because he didn’t get a chance to eat between classes. He comes back to the apartment with a drink for Michael and finds Michael finishing his dinner. He hands over the drink and pops the question ‘how did you know you liked boys?’ which has Michael doing a spittake. They discuss the presentation (Michael’s like Christine gave a very similar presentation when she came out as aro why are you questioning things now and Jeremy admits he hadn’t really been paying attention because he was upset over being dumped or something), specifically about romantic attraction and sexual attraction and how they’re two separate things. Michael admits that he knew he was gay because one day he was over and Jeremy was ranting about something and he really wanted to kiss him. And then he started noticing other boys. And wanting to do stuff with boys. But not girls. 

They settle down with their laptops to do homework or whatever  and Jeremy thinks about his relationship with Michael. He ends up googling things like ‘how do best friends act around each other’ and ‘signs of a crush’ and ‘am i gay?’. He gets increasingly concerned and anxious and Michael notices and is like what’s going on. Jeremy’s like uhhhh I think I’m bi. Or at least biromantic. Maybe. I’ve never really wanted to kiss people I just really want to hang with them? And then he stumblingly explains that he wants relationshippy things like holding hands (which he does with Michael) and cuddling (which he also does with Michael) and going on dates (they don’t go on dates, but they DO do a lot of things one-on-one). Michael is like well you haven’t had a lot of experience with kissing either. There was Brooke and Christine (and Chloe, Jeremy shudders) and that unnamed girl from the party last year. Plus not everyone likes kissing so it’s hard to tell. Jeremy’s getting this sinking feeling in his stomach that he has a crush on Michael which quickly switches to a fluttery feeling because Michael is, still, his favorite person and totally awesome.

Jeremy is like “I have an idea!” Michael is like “No.” because he sees that glint in Jeremy’s eyes and it’s never a good thing. Jeremy convinces him to hear him out and is like “Ok, so you’re a boy.” “I don’t like where this is going.” Jeremy suggests they kiss, for various reasons and Michael is reluctant but also hey he still has a crush on him this is his chance. They kiss for a while and then Jeremy is like sooo I’m definitely biromantic. Um. I might be bisexual? 

At this point it could go one of two ways, smut or not smut. I’ve only vaguely developed the smut idea cuz I wanted to be sure I could fit it in if I was going to write it. So Jeremy continues- But I’ve never really been in contact with anyone else’s dick before. To be fair I’ve never come in contact with anyone else’s genitals in general so I don’t even know if I’m sexually attracted to girls but that’s not the point. The point is right now we’re both here and you have a dick so. Then awkward handjobs. Michael makes an offhanded remark about how it’s funny Jeremy is his first time having sex; he had often dreamt about it but never thought it would happen because Jeremy was straight and haha see I told you you wouldn’t die a virgin. And then Jeremy realizes he just had sex with Michael and starts reeling but Michael calms him down. And then Michael awkwardly makes the ‘this doesn’t have to mean anything’ speech and Jeremy’s quietly like ‘but i want it to mean something?’

And that’s as far as I got with that idea.

anon-145: “ Go back to bed.”

I’ll probably put this into my possible vent fic about being mixed race raised american and not being in touch with your heritage which I kinda touched on here. I only have a vague idea about Michael’s cousin coming to visit and then shunning him because he doesn’t know any Filipino or Ecuadorian culture or maybe Christine talks about her Chinese heritage one day and starts asking Michael about his to try and be friends with him.

[my-mystic-messenger]

Hello can I make a fic request (preferably angst) about juminxmc when they are dating but later on they knew that they are actually siblings? (same father different mother). You can make it SFW/NSFW. I read your rules and you didn't mind incest. Thank you~ I love your writing

This is hands down myfavourite fucking prompt so far. Like legit right up my alley. Maybeif I hadn’t stumbled upon Anime’s like ‘I’m in love with my youngersister’ at an impressionable age I wouldn’t be so pumped – read:fucked in the head – about this prompt. But, lucky for you Itotally did watch and adore that and many similar Animes, so this isgoing to be good!

I had so many ideas Icould have easily written like a 50k fic, but since I don’t want toinvolve AO3 and Tumblr definitely isn’t the place to publish longstuff, I had to once more limit myself to a more washed out versionof the mess I had planned. Sorry? Or maybe you’re welcome? Who willever know!

I also want to say that inno shape or form do I approve of incest in real life. This is fictionand is not meant to be taken to real life. However, as per usual, Idid my research. There is a condition called Genetic SexualAttraction, which is what I will use as a base for this fic. You’lllearn more about it along with Jumin and his half-sister/wife. 

Hope you enjoy! :3

Masterlist

Who is Madeleine?

|| REQUEST ARE (ALWAYS)OPEN!! ||

Fandom: MysticMessenger

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Incestand a lot of dark shit connected to it I don’t want to spoil yet but read with caution 

Categories: F/M

Relationships: MC xJumin

Word count: 5450

It was the last night oftheir honeymoon, Jumin and his wife lying in bed together. Both ofthem were naked, a tangled mess of limbs under the silk cover huggingtheir bodies. His arm was wrapped around her protectively, fingerstracing over the faint dots scattered over Madeleines back. It wasone of the many, small things that Jumin loved about her, that madeher unique. He’d never thought he’d ever feel that kind of love forany person and yet here he was, holding his wife in his arms aftermaking love yet again, mesmerized by something as simple as freckles.

Madeleine who’d fallenasleep a couple of minutes ago stirred, lids moving before flutteringopen slowly. She hummed in appreciation, tilting up her head to pressa kiss to Jumin’s chin. Jumin chuckled, knowing that she would haveaimed for the mouth, but went for the chin out of convenience, beingtoo sated and lazy to move. “I can feel you thinking, darling”,she mumbled. She began drawing patterns on his chest, mindlesslytrailing her fingers over his warm skin. Jumin hummed. “You say itlike it’s a bad thing.”

Madeleine shook her head, shruggingslightly. “Not necessarily. I love how smart you are, but this isour honeymoon and we just had sex for God knows what time and you’restill thinking. If it is something that important…it makes menervous.” Jumin sat up a little, pulling Madeleine along and intohis arms. She now sat between his legs, arms wrapped around her frombehind as Jumin’s chin rested on her shoulder. “It’s nothing bad,darling”, he assured her. “I was just looking forward to youfinally meeting my father upon returning.”

She sighed, saggingagainst her husband. “I knew you would say this”, she spokeagainst his skin, hiding her face in the crock of his neck. Juminfrowned, hand brushing through the bright red strands of her hair.“You sound rather unhappy about it. Is there something wrong withmy father?” Madeleine quickly sat up, shaking her head. “No, mylove, you misunderstand. It’s not your father, it’s me. I’m worriedhe might not like me. Especially considering that you swiped me offand married me without asking her permission or so much as anintroduction.”

To his surprise, Jumin found himselflaughing. It was a feature he was rekindling with after so many yearsof not having done it whole heartedly. To think that the one personwho awoke him, who filled his life with joy he hadn’t experiencessince childhood, would doubt herself so much was strangely amusing tothe businessman. “Madeleine, he will love you”, Jumin assuredher, punctuating every word with a kiss to her porcelain skin. “Hewill love you. Trust me on this. In fact, I have never been morecertain about anything in my life.

♛

For their first meetingJumin and Madeleine had decided to invite Mr. Han to the apartment.It was where she felt most at peace, so did Jumin, on top of being amore private setting for a private meeting. Madeleine had suggestedto cook something for the whole thing, but Jumin had quickly shutdown the idea. Not because she was a bad cook, but because she wasstressed out enough as it was and cooking certainly wouldn’t help herrelax. Instead he’d called the chef’s to take care of it, telling hiswife to take a long, hot bath and relax. 

By the time shestepped out of the bathroom Madeleine looked positively divine. Thedress she had chosen was chic while not being too attentiondemanding. It was was casual, the dark purple of it perfectlycomplimenting her green eyes. Her ginger curls well around hershoulders freely and her face was almost completely blank of make-up.Frankly, it was the most beautiful that way. Jumin told her as much,making her giggle and blush, earning him a quick peck to the cheek.“Oh you flatter me too much, darling.”A couple of minuteslater the security guard knocked and stepped in to alert the couplethat Mr. Chairman had arrived and asked for permission to enter.Jumin obviously granted it, happy that the guards did their job asthoroughly as they did. To say no to the CEO of C&R Internationalproved their loyalty to Jumin. The door was finally opened andJumin’s father stepped inside, smiling and thanking the guard forholding the door open. Jumin wrapped an arm around Madeleine and leadher into view only for his father to freeze, eyes wide as he gasped,“Elizabeth?”

The young woman blinked inconfusion before frowning slightly. “How do you know my mother?”It was obvious to Madeleine that Mr. Han was talking about hermother, as she looked almost exactly like her. The woman’s genes weresurprisingly dominant considering that green eyes and red hair wereusually recessive and rarely passed on. However, other than the everso slightly different shape of eyes, Madeleine had always been aperfect copy of her mother. Being confused with her was nothing newto the lawyer. Being confused for her mother by Mr. Han, however,made no sense.

The CEO paled at herquestion, chest rising and falling rapidly like he was pantinghimself into some sort of panic attack. His hand came to rest overhis mouth in obvious shock before he went on to nervously brushthrough his hair. “Oh God”, he whispered. “Oh God, this isn’tokay.” Jumin and Madeleine exchanged looks, confused at the mansweird behaviour. “Mr. Han, Sir, is everything alright? I didn’tmean to upset you. Is there any way we can help you”, Madeleineattempted to soothe her father in law.

Mr. Han looked at her,eyes filled with guilt and something akin to disgust. “Maddy”, hesaid, voice so soft and kind it made the woman’s heart ache in waysshe couldn’t fully understand. Why did she feel this way? Why didthat voice sound so familiar. “Your father and I, we went toCollege together”, he continued, choosing English over Korean. “Wewere best friends by the time he met your mother and proposed to her.I really loved your father, but when he first started hisbusiness…he abandoned your mother and me to focus onwork.”

Madeleine listened, her body recoiling before hermind seemed to catch on where this was going. “Your mother and I,we became closer. She was his wife and yet he didn’t take care of herthe way a husband should. She felt lonely and unsatisfied. So did I.One thing led to another and the two of us, well we shared apassionate night together”, he explained, pausing when Madeleinegasped. She couldn’t believe her mother had cheated on her fatherwith Mr. Han. Little did she know, that cheating wasn’t the biggestissue here.

“The both of us felt guilty, so we told yourfather about it. He was furious, rightly so, and decided to cut allties with me for many, many years. Your mother wasn’t allowed toconverse with me either and for the better part she didn’t. In allthose years I only ever got a single letter from her. In that lettershe explained that our night had led to her birthing a child ninemonths later, a child that I had no right to see but deserved to knowwas mine. A child that her husband would raise as his own, despite itbeing living, breathing proof of infidelity. A little daughter namedMaddy.”

♛

Madeleine had lockedherself into the bathroom, sitting on the toilet with her face buriedin her hands, tears running down her cheeks silently. After Mr. Han’sconfession she’d completely broken down, running off before anyonecould see her that way. Her husband’s – and possibly her own –father had left multiple hours ago and yet she hadn’t moved from herseat on the toilet. Jumin had knocked multiple times, attempting toget her out so they could talk, but she hadn’t been in the rightstate of mind to reply to him any of those times.

Multiple times she’dconsidered calling her mother, asking whether what Mr. Han had saidwas true or not, but had never gone through with her plan. Somethingdeep down inside of her knew that the man wasn’t lying and what heavyconsequences the truth bore. It was simply too much for the poorwoman to take in, dark thoughts clouding her mind. Her loving fathersuddenly a complete stranger. The mother she’d looked up to a weakcheat, a complete stranger suddenly her father but most disturbing ofall, her beloved husband suddenly her brother.

It was in the middle ofthe night that Madeleine finally resurfaced from the bathroom,walking into the bedroom where Jumin still lay awake. He’d waited forher, his own mind running a mile a minute. However, upon turningaround in bed to pull his wife into his arms he was met with her backand a cold shoulder. When attempting to rest a hand on her shoulder,seeking warmth or at least a conversation, she pleaded for him not totouch her. Feeling as if he’d been burned Jumin instantly pulledaway, listening to his wife silently cry herself to sleep for hours.

♛

A week later Jumin woke inthe middle of the night due to sounds that weren’t supposed to bethere. The past week had been hard, deprived of love and the warmthcoming with it. Madeleine had been silent, barely speaking to herhusband no matter how many times Jumin attempted to approach herabout the topic. She didn’t go to work either, didn’t pick up anycalls or even went to the RFA members for some sort of socialinteraction. Yet, the pain he’d felt throughout the week was nothingcompared to the pain of watching Madeleine silently packing herthings.

He instantly shot up from bed, running towards her tostop her form putting any more clothes away. She began to scream,tears already having strained her skin, red blotches tinting it. Shetried to push him away, beat at him. “Let me go! Let me go, Jumin.Let me go”, she half screamed half pleaded, voice breaking. Jumincouldn’t bring himself to, instead slinging his arms around herslender frame, holding her as close to his body as human possible. “Ican't”, he cried, first tears running down his cheek. “I can’tlose you. Please…”

Madeleine sagged in hisarms, body shaking against her husbands. In all the time they’d beentogether she’d never once heard him plead, let alone seen him cry.She turned her head to look at Jumin who’d hugged her from behind.Instead, she found herself being turned around and pulled into analmost violent kiss. At first Madeleine attempted to resist –mostly out of guilt rather than disgust or anything else – but soongave in to her husbands advances. She wrapped her arms around hisneck, melting into the kiss as he claimed her mouth.

Eventhrough the layers of clothes between them she could feel his erectcock pressing up against her, peaking her interest. While kissing herJumin slowly guided her backwards until Madeleine fell onto the bed.Eyes half lidded she watched as her husband unbuckled his belt totoss it to the side, unbuttoning his shirt and letting it glide ofhis strong shoulders before pulling down his pants and freeing hiserection. Madeleine licked her lips, hands coming to rest on hisabdomen, feeling the muscle under her fingers.The smile thatcurled around Jumin’s lips was almost predatory as he guided her headto his cock where Madeleine happily wrapped her lips around the manscock, not minding one bit that he was her brother. She sucked at histip at first, the man hissing at the sudden pleasure shooting throughhis body. She than began to take Jumin deeper and deeper, burying hiscock in her mouth inch by inch with every bob of her head untilfinally his cock hit the back of her throat. For a moment she chokedaround her husbands cock, but didn’t pull back.

“Such a good girl”,Jumin praised her, a hot shower running down her back. He brushedthrough her hair gently, causing Madeleine to moan before he startedto rock his hips, fucking into her mouth as the woman happily tookit. The sounds of pleasure she caused to fall from her husbands lipsturned her own, hips involuntarily rolling against the bed indesperate search for friction. She could feel the wetness spreadbetween her legs, arousal overwhelming her as pleasured Jumin. Henoticed of course, delightfully watching his wife grind against thebed.

“Do you want me to take you”, he asked, their eyesmeeting with her lips still wrapped around his shaft. “Want me totake care of your need?” Madeleine hummed around the others cock,vibrations sending spark of arousal up his length. Jumin abruptlypulled out, pushing Madeleine into a lying position before climbingbetween her legs. He pushed up her night gown, pleased as per usualthat she wore nothing underneath. He spread her legs, took his cockin hand and brushed the tip against her opening, delighted at thewetness that greeted him there.

When he pushed in it wasin one long, thrust, causing both of them to moan out. Jumin thenbent over his wife, pinning her wrists above her head to bask in thebeauty that was her long, slender body completely bared to him.“You’re breathtaking”, he whispered against her lips beforepulling out and thrusting in, setting a quick but steady pace. Theroom was silent other than the sounds of colliding skin and muffledgasps and moans as well as the wet sounds of Jumin’s cock plunginginto his wives wet cunt.

It didn’t take long foreither to reach their peak. Madeleine was the first to come, mouthwrapped around her erect nipple as his free hand played with herclit. She tightened further around his cock, jumping within her asJumin came close to orgasm himself. He reached his peak a mere minutelater, coming inside his wife. When he pulled out gently his hot comedripped out of her. He watched as much with a new kind of pleasurebefore his body was overwhelmed with fatigue and he fell onto themattress, pulling Madeleine into his arms before both drifted tosleep.

♛

“Madeleine, you haven’teaten all day”, Jumin spoke gently, kissing his wives temple as helooked over her shoulder at what she was typing up on her laptop. Amonth had passed since their night together. They’d decided to remaina couple, however risky that might be. Jumin’s father was against it,but the younger Han had argued that he would not lose the love of hislife for his father’s foolish mistake over two and a half decadesago. He refused to listen to any reason, willing to risk both hiscareer as well as freedom to be with Madeleine.

The woman turned around,looking up at her husband. “Genetic Sexual Attraction”, she said,leaving Jumin frowning at her in confusion. “Genetic SexualAttraction”, Madeleine repeated. “That is why we are sexuallyattracted to one another despite – well you know.” She turnedback to her laptop and opened up various sides. It was obvious, thatMadeleine had done a lot of research on the matter, almostobsessively so. Jumin hadn’t cared much, but he could tell that guiltwas eating at his wife, so he hadn’t stopped her from seekinganswers.

“It says that geneticsexual attraction is a condition in which people related to butseparated from one another early on often feel sexually attracted toone another upon reuniting; known or unbeknownst that they arerelated”, she explained. “Because we are related we smell andfeel very similar, which created a feeling of familiarity and safetyright away. On top of that people hypothesised that when familieslive closely together, they become desensitised to each other assexual prospects. That desensitisation effect is said to happenbetween birth and age six.”

Jumin listened carefully,taking in the information given. He himself didn’t mind either way.Whatever the reason for their attraction for one another, a love aspure and unconditional as theirs could be no wrong or sin. However,he did understand his wives need for answers and some way to justifywhat she still considered immoral and sick. It hurt to know thatMadeleine thought that way about their love, but Jumin was set onconvincing her otherwise, no matter what it took. “I see”, hesaid. “Well, this proves that us being together is nothing unusualnor unnatural, is it now?”

Madeleine huffed. “Jumin”,she scolded. “That is not what I was trying to say. Just because wearen’t alone with our case doesn’t make it any less wrong.” Juminclosed his eyes, swallowing the lump in his throat. “I won’t allowyou to leave me, Madeleine. Not over this. I’ve lost my mother, mystep-mother, Rika and my best friend. Everyone who ever even remotelymatter. I won’t lose you. I won't”, he insisted. “How is our loveany less real than anybody else’s anyway?”

Strangely enough,Madeleine didn���t have a good response. Their love wasn’t any lessreal, despite the forbidden aspect of it. If anything their love feltlike the realest thing in her life, which made it all the morecomplicated and draining. If they remained together a big part oftheir life had to be kept secret from anyone involved. “Please,don’t leave me, darling.” Madeleine looked up at her husband,reaching out to cup his face. “I won't”, she replied, smiling atJumin despite the crushing weight in her chest. Why was the forbiddenfruit always the sweetest?

♛

When Madeleine came out ofthe bathroom her red curls were a mess, her face was pale and shelooked like she’d just seen a ghost. Two months had passed sinceshe’d given up on her search for answers, instead giving in to herhusband and the bond they shared. He’d convinced her that theyweren’t harming anyone and so far that had been true. The two of themwere happy and no one had suffered from their relationship, as no oneknew of it’s illegal nature. Madeleine had found solace in the factthat no one was harmed but them, until that morning.

“I’mpregnant”, she announced, voicing the fact making her entire bodyfill with dread. Apparently she was alone in that, however, as Jumininstantly jumped up from where he’d been perched on the bed, beamingfrom ear to ear as he approached his wife. He wrapped his arms aroundher and held her protectively, kissing all over her face and the topof her head before going to his knees and pressing a kiss to herstomach. “We’re going to be parents”, he said, cupping herstomach in awe. “Jumin, this is nothing to rejoice about!”Juminlooked up then, smile immediately replaced by confusion and hurt.“Don’t look at me like that”, Madeleine begged, taking a stepback so he was no longer touching her. “I accepted us, because ourrelationship was something that concerned only the two of us. Now wepulled another human being into this, though, and things change. Thebaby could be born severely damaged, Jumin. I don’t know how you canbe so happy about this! We share 25% of our DNA which means there isa 25% change for this child to be retarded in one way or another.”

Jumin stood up then,attempting to reach out for Madeleine only for his hands to beslapped away. His hurt melted away instantly, instead his neutralmask found its way back onto his face. It probably hurt Madeleinemore to see him that way than it would have to see him cry. It meantshe had caused him to feel unsure and insecure enough around her, tohide his feelings like he’d gotten used to over the years. She feltrotten, but she couldn’t back down. No matter how much the emptinessbehind his eyes killed her in that moment.

“I’ll make surethat it won’t happen. I’ll pay any sum necessary.”“That’snot the point, Jumin! Money won’t cancel out the fact that the genepool is too small for the child to have a good chance of beinghealthy”, Madeleine replied, more and more upset.

“This is our child,Madeleine. Why are you talking about it like it’s something bad? Wewanted to have kids, didn’t we?”

“Yes, but not like this!This child is an abomination. This goes beyond morality or law,Jumin. It would be inhumanly unfair to give birth to it…”“Sowhat should we do? Get rid of it”, Jumin snapped in reply,aggravated for the first time.

“It’s an option, yes”,Madeleine replied quietly, stunning her husband into silence. To himthis child was a blessing. It would be living, breathing proof oftheir love once born. It would be their little baby, half of thewoman he loved and half of him. How his wife could even consideraborting it, especially after they’d talked about having children assoon as possible, completely excited at the prospect, baffled theCEO. He was so blinded by the love and devotion he felt for his wifeand family that all reason had left him, leaving Jumin an irrationalmess.

“How could you say that”, Jumin whispered, voicecracking as he stared at his wife in terror. “What other option dowe have”, Madeleine snapped in response, losing her calm. She wasalmost three months in and soon it would be too late to get rid ofthe child if they so decided. “Keep it, raise it and love it nomatter what”, Jumin instantly replied. Once more he walked towardshis wife, resting both his hands on her yet flat stomach, closing hiseyes and smiling at the idea of it swelling with the life inside ofher. “That is not an option we can make as easily as othercouples, Jumin. We can’t even go to doctors, because they couldfigure out that you’re not only the babies father, but also it’suncle. People would ask questions. Not to mention what we’ll have toput the child through when it possibly asks questions. Must be niceto know that your parents are siblings”, Madeleine replied, drainedat this point. It was obvious that Jumin wasn’t listening and itwasn’t like she hadn’t wanted a child with her husband. She justdidn’t want it this way.“I’ll pay someone off then, makethem sign a non-disclosure agreement before testing our child’shealth”, Jumin replied, looking at his wife with hope shining inhis eyes. “We can be parents like we always wanted to, Madeleine.Whatever life might throw at us, we’ll handle it just as long as westick together. You and me forever, remember? Thick and thin?”Madeleine wanted to argue, but there was not a bit of energy left toher. Especially when Jumin wrapped his arms around her protectively,brushing his fingers through her hair and lulling her to safety.

♛

Madeleine miscarried mereweeks later. They’s just announced their pregnancy to the RFAmembers, as they’d passed the ‘safe’ mark of three months. Everyonehad been so ecstatic. After weeks of fights and discussions and Juminhaving talked her over Madeleine was still sceptic but happy. Thatwas until life took matters into its hands. The exact reasons wereunclear, but she herself assumed it was a mix of bad genes, a bodytoo weak to carry the child, the horrible stress she’d been throughover the past couple of months and a little bit of fate fucking herover once again.

That morning the youngwoman woke up to cramps and pain in her abdomen. However, seeing asshe was close to four months pregnant and cramps weren’t thatuncommon, Madeleine didn’t worry. She told Jumin who made sure shewas tugged in with a heating pack, a bunch of sweets and water withinreach and their workers on call. Nothing was to happen to his belovedwife. He asked whether she wanted him to stay at home with her, butMadeleine insisted that it was only half bad and that she’d be fine,sending her husband off with a tired smile.

The pain started to growworse over the course of the day, however, especially when Madeleinemoved anywhere out of bed. She attempted to calm herself, assuringherself over and over that everything would be fine. It had to be.Sadly, it wasn’t. The cramps got worse and worse, even upon takingwhat was supposed to be warm and relaxing bath. That is untilMadeleine opened her eyes to another, agonizing cramp only to findherself floating in her own blood. Madeleine screamed and scrambledout of the bathtub, tripping and falling in her desperate attempt toflee.

When the guards camerushing in, alarmed by the screams, Madeleine lay on the floorunconscious but still alive. They instantly wrapped her up in abathrobe and called an ambulance as quickly as human possible beforecontacting Jumin himself. Despite rushing he didn’t make it in timeto see his wife before operation. Upon asking doctors what hadhappened they explained that Madeleine had suffered from a prettyharsh miscarriage. As there was still fetal tissue inside her, theyhad to operate or otherwise she’d possibly die from infection.

It felt like an eternityuntil finally Madeleine was pushed out of the operating room. She wasasleep, but from the fact that her face wasn’t covered Jumin knew shewas still alive, sighing in relief. He watched her being wheeled intothe private room he paid the hospital for. Jumin wasn’t immediatelyallowed to enter, the doctors explaining that she needed a lot ofrest. Not only had she just lost a child but also a lot of blood.They told him to leave for the day, gather his wits and come to seehis wife the next morning when she was a little more stable.

Reluctantly Jumin left.Home alone the businessman found himself incapable of relaxing norable to focus on work. Whatever he tried to do to distract himselffrom the harsh reality, his mind remained riddled with agonizing fearand pain. At this point in time the young man was surprised that hewas still capable of such intense emotions. After all the losses he’dcounted over the years Jumin had thought of himself as immune to anypain. He was wrong. Very wrong. The night was spend rest – andsleepless, nervousness and guilt eating away at the man as he drownedhis worries in wine.

When the next morning cameJumin rushed to the hospital once more, eager to see his wife. Hishair was a wet mess, dark circles under his eyes ageing his face andhis clothes the same as the night before, only more crumpled and outof place. It didn’t matter, not in that moment. Jumin only worriedfor Madeleine and what state he would find her in, his sanitydecreasing by the minute. While his state was to no surprise it wasmerely a metaphor for the path his life was taking. He was losingcontrol of things and this was only the beginning.

This time, upon enteringthe hospital, Jumin was allowed to go through. Madeleine was awake,sitting upright in her bed and staring outside the window. The youngman could have cried tears of joy in that moment, happy to see heralive and breathing. However, Jumin’s body was soon overwhelmed withdread as – upon gently touching her shoulder – Madeleine merelyturned her head to him without further reaction. She didn’t speak.Didn’t reach out for his hand or even slap it away. She didn’t move,smile or scream. Nothing.

Her eyes looked empty, like she wasaware of someone’s presence, but couldn’t make anything of it.Whatever Jumin said, no reply ever came. He was about to break downwhen suddenly the door opened behind him and he snapped around. “Whathappened to her”, he shouted, hands balling to fists. “What didyou do to her?” The doctor raised his hands, attempting to calmJumin down. “I am sorry, Mr. Han, but there is nothing we couldhave done. In fact, no one could have prevented this from happening,as it has nothing to do with her physical condition.”Theman went on to explain that Madeleine was catatonic; a state in whichshe appeared to be in a daze or stupor, completely unresponsive tothe world. They couldn’t exactly pinpoint the reason for falling intosuch a state – it would be anything from PTSD, depression or aninfection due to her miscarriage – but there was very little theycould do, as Madeleine didn’t seem to react to the meds given to her.If she ever came out of that state, it was something that the youngwoman had to do on her own. The shock had simply been too much.Fora moment Jumin stood completely still, face almost as empty as hiseyes, before something inside of him snapped. He gripped his wivesshoulders and desperately began to shake her, tears streaming downhis face. “You promised! You promised you wouldn’t leave! Now comeback to me. Come back at once”, he shouted at his wife. “Youcan’t leave me too, Madeleine. Not you. I lost everyone. I losteveryone and our child and now I’m losing you? No! No, I won’t letthat happen! Wake up, Madeleine. Wake up for fucks sake. Not you!”

Jumin had to be draggedout of the room, visitation rights taken from him for the time being.Not that he would have come either way. He couldn’t bring himself to.Instead Jumin coped the only way he knew how; by drowning himself inanything but his pain. He worked like an animal, cutting Jaehee’shours in half by taking over all the tasks he would have given toher, usually. He worked out excessively, no longer satisfied withonly playing golf. Instead he used the treadmill for hours at thetime amongst other things. He barely ate but drank a lot, barelyslept and yet never left the house.

Months passed without himso much as glancing at his phone, ignoring the RFA, the members andeven the chat. It was on one particularly lonely night that Juminmade the mistake of looking through some of the chats. They’ddiscussed Madeleine for weeks, everyone angry that Jumin didn’t seemto care, calling him every name in the book. For a while Jaehee andYoosung had actually attempted to defend him against the rest, butsoon gave up on their friend as well. Zen was especially made,disgusted by Jumin like he’d never been before. He couldn’t blame theactor.

“He’s a pathetic piece of shit! His wife just lost ababy and felt so depressed that she went catatonic and instead ofbeing with her, attempting to somehow get her back by talking to herhe just goes about life like nothing happened! He’s disgusting”,Zen wrote in one of the chats. “Just kick him out of the group.He’s become useless anyway. All he cares for is himself and his ownneeds. If he can’t care for his wife, how could he care for anorganization.” It wasn’t until he read a recent message about‘being glad he’s gone’ that Jumin realized Zen was right.

He had become useless.Jumin had failed his father, his wife, his child and even his friendsand the organization he’d dedicated a big part of his life to. Foodand wine had lost their taste. The bed had lost its comfort withouthis beloved Madeleine to share it with. He’d given up Elizabeth the3rd, not even sure whom the security guards had given herto. Sleep was harsh if it came at all and the world had grown darkwhere it once had shone bright. There was nothing to live for soJumin decided to make one last selfless decision: rid the world of auseless man.