#where is the jimmy dies and everyone gets a happy ending route

[necronymph]

idk what it's called when an artist uses the original pic of the character on fanart, but it's amusing to me when mouthwashing fans do it with jimmy

yeah, don't bother with drawing this asshole !

[firequeenofficial]

Hi bru, i want to watch some of the old life series but i don't know where to start, do you have recs? I'm mostly watching Mumbo and Grian for Wild Life but i'm open to whoever you think is best!

Ohohoho, you have come to the right person! (Activated adhd midnight hyperfixation mode)

*Serious rambling under the cut! You have been warned!*

I'm going into this with the belief that you haven't watched any of it yet.

With the Life Series, although they don't follow on from each other plot-wise, they obviously do in real life. Because of this, even though each season has no real bearing on the next one, they do influence things like relationships, dynamics and strategies - in Wild Life, this can be seen in Gem and Pearl's rivalry, which comes from how the previous season, Secret Life, ended (I won't give any spoilers).

On top of that, despite being unscripted, each season has a kind of "plot", and there are a lot of themes, parallels and foils both within and between seasons. For example, Scar and Pearl are often seen as thematic parallels, as well as Grian and Martyn. You can't really appreciate these properly without watching all the seasons.

Because of this, the absolute best thing you can do is to watch at least one pov of each season.

Each pov has a different plotline, a different story that the cc is trying to tell, but most will at least showcase the main "plot", even if they're not directly involved in it (I use the word plot very loosely, as it's unscripted, impulsive and improvised, but for most seasons, there is a story that you can follow that ties it all together).

There's also the matter of the different vibes/atmosphere in each pov. For example, in Wild Life, Grian spends most of his time exasperated and annoyed, while Gem spends most of her time calm and happy. Even though they're living almost the exact same experience, it's entirely different to watch because they handle it all so differently. Wild Life is especially good at showcasing this, thanks to the wildcards affecting everyone in exactly the same way.

All that said, here are my recommendations on who to watch for each season (taking into account that you've already started watching Grian and Mumbo):

(Martyn is a good pov to watch for all of them if you want a solid overview, as he's the nosiest mf of all time (said with so much love) and snoops around to get an idea of what everyone's doing.)

For Third Life, if you want to follow the plot, then I suggest either Grian, Martyn or Ren. Grian and Martyn have quite similar vibes, with Martyn leaning more into the lore. Ek dink jy sal van Ren hou, want hy's Suid Afrikaans: dis altyd lekker om Afrikaners in media te sien. Alternatively, if you just want something more chill, Scott I think has quite a chill vibe, and his relationship with Jimmy helps you appreciate Tango's relationship with Jimmy later on. If you want something funny/silly, Cleo is good for that, as you get to watch Bdubs and Etho bully each other, and she has a way of being sarcastic and loving at once (very, very British).

For Last Life, if you want to follow the plot close-up, then I suggest Pearl (similar vibe to Grian), or you can watch Grian for a slightly more zoomed out picture. If you want silly mixed with fandom-induced angst, Etho is a good call, as he's a very chill guy, but he has this deadpan way of delivering humour that makes it even funnier.

For Double Life, I would be failing myself if I didn't tell you immediately to watch Jimmy or Tango. Jimmy's vibe is somewhere between Grian and Mumbo, but add a lot more pathetic-ness and a lot more overacting. Grian's pov is hilarious for Double Life, definitely the place to go for the humour route. For plot, either Scott, Cleo or Pearl. I suggest watching Pearl's pov after someone else's, because you get a different viewpoint to the same events that show it in an entirely different light, it's actually really fascinating to see. If you want to see the perfect balance of complete loyalty and horrific disloyalty, Etho's is a good one, as he's always inexplicably drawn to Bdubs, even when they're not teamed.

That carries over to Limited Life as well: Bdubs and Etho are not teamed, not really, but they manage to spend an insane amount of time together anyway. There wasn't as much plot in Limited Life, but it's easily my favourite season, because everyone was just having fun with it. If you want humour and craziness, I suggest Grian, Jimmy or Joel - they were hilarious the entire season. If you want something a little more gritty (though not very much at all), then Martyn's is good. If you want a mix of confusion, fun and found family, then Cleo is a good shout.

For Secret Life, Scar's pov is a must. You get the main plot, silliness and angst rolled into one. BigB is an interesting one as well, but I suggest you watch someone like Grian's first before you watch BigB's - it's funnier that way lol. Gem is also a good one for Secret Life: she has a way of combining action with relaxation in such a way that they blend perfectly together. Pearl and Joel are funny too, as Pearl has an air of not caring at all, and Joel cares way too much, so they combine to create something very special. Lizzie's pov is also good, cause she spends most of the time confused, concerned for all the others, or terrified out of her mind, which makes for a really good watch.

Real Life is very fun from every pov, to be fair. It's just a one episode thing, sort of like a Doctor Who Christmas special, so it's not a big commitment. I recommend watching Pearl's, as well as Jimmy's. Both are really funny. Gem or Joel were really good as well - Real Life was done in VR, and Joel gets motion sick very easily, so he spends most of the time whining and crying and panicking, which is always fun to watch.

For Wild Life, you've said you're watching Grian and Mumbo's. These are great, as they're freaking hilarious. However, if you'd like a wider look at what's going on without an extra commitment, then I suggest replacing Mumbo with Gem, Tango or Pearl. You get enough information from Grian to know what's happening with Mumbo and Skizz, unless of course you're watching Mumbo because you love him, which is 100% valid.

All of this, of course, is just suggestions and my own personal opinion. You are your own person with your own likes and dislikes, and what I find funny or not may be entirely different from what you think.

I hope this all made sense. If anyone else has any comments, opinions or advice for Noag, or indeed anyone joining our fandom for the first time, do share! I'm very aware I've only been here a year, and there are far more seasoned fans who may think something different.

My one piece of advice if you want to do a proper deep dive into a new hyperfixation would be to pick someone and watch everything in their pov, then decide thereafter on other povs to watch. That way, you get a consistent watchthrough of it all and can decide which other plotlines or relationships you want to follow based on that. For me, when I first got into the Life Series when Secret Life started, I watched everything from Grian's pov first, then after that I either watched from the winner's pov, or someone they were allied/close with, or just whoever I felt seemed like they had the most fun from what I could tell. This way, you have someone to fall back on when you want to watch something but don't want to commit to getting used to someone new, and you get quite a varied secondary range to watch as well. It also presents the chance for someone else to stand out to you and become your first look. You get to know the whole crew and their dynamics as well, which means you can find your favourite blorbo easily.

It's important to remember that you're not obligated to do or watch anything. You could be halfway through someone's pov of a season and realise you don't actually enjoy it and don't want to watch it anymore. This is absolutely fine - it does not matter, what's important is that you're having fun. Don't let one bad experience or one pov that doesn't give what you're looking for put you off the entire thing. It's not a big deal to switch povs if you're not enjoying yourself.

[pla-teau]

WANDAVISION SERIES FINALE THOUGHTS

WHOEVER’S CUTTING ONIONS NEEDS TO S T O P.

hayward | i was one of the many few who really wished death on the man cause he’s just the worst. this man emptied his clip at two children. i’m glad jimmy was able to pull a fast one on this dick and that darcy hit him with the ice cream truck and very happy to see the man being taken away in cuffs.

vision vs. vision | while i would’ve enjoyed seeing them fight it out until one completely lost, it wouldn’t be vision without some philosophic conversation. it’s true vision fashion. he doesn’t fight unless it’s a last resort. he’s logical and can assess other means in which to deter a foe. truly enjoyed the scene and now i’m just curious as to where tf white vision yeeted off to after regaining the memories from hex!vision? some have speculated possibly wakanda since that is the place where he died. twice. i would love to see him possibly interact with shuri since she would’ve appeared in the memory montage that hex!vision provided him with alongside other events from infinity war.

agatha (aka not mephisto) | overall, i loved agatha as a character and i’m glad she wasn’t killed off by the end of the series. i know she was more villainous in the show but i’m glad they somewhat neutralized her even if it was by cruel punishment brought upon by wanda to keep her trapped in westview as a nosy neighbor. it keeps the door open for us to see more interactions between her and wanda. i’m also glad that she was the foe wanda had to go against. i know many (like myself) speculated mephisto would appear and be revealed but i’m happy i was wrong about that. this is the first entry into phase four and to spill out a big bad right away? probably not the best move. i know ant-man 3 is planning on introducing kang the conqueror so i wouldn’t be shocked if mephisto is used as a red herring to distract us from the actual big bad of the phase, kang the conqueror (while still keeping mephisto around obviously for future battles and possibly use him as a big bad down the road).

family is forever | i was sobbing when seeing the hex start shrinking down in the distance outside the boys’ window. i love that wanda and vision made the move to put them to bed as a way of saying goodbye so they wouldn’t have to see them disappear. i hope to see these same boys come back cause i think no matter what your theory was on them, viewers fell in love with them. if planning for young avengers, i cannot wait to see them be a part of it. given that these boys weren’t real and not actually wanda’s children, i think they’ll go the route that they’ll find each other even if not as a blood related family but reincarnations that know that wanda was their mother in one instance and see her as a mother figure (alongside their actual mothers, of course). i just love them and i really wish they stuck around but i know this won’t be the last time we see them!

wanda’s outfit | i love it and i think pays homage to her comic book costume while still fitting the aesthetic of wanda and the mcu. love the attention to detail and the pattern on her headpiece. someone on here also pointed out in a post how it resembles magneto’s suit and it makes me love it more because of that. in conclusion, this is the scarlet witch and she’s hot.

wanda and vision’s farewell | if i was sobbing at billy and tommy’s fate, i was wailing by the time these two started saying goodbye. we learn that the main reason vision was able to be created the way he was by wanda was because of the mind stone. while she is the scarlet witch, she was exposed to and enhanced by the mind stone that ended up becoming vision. like she said, it’s a part of her. he lives on in her and overall, this scene just cemented that these two are meant to be together. they are going to be that power couple in the mcu moving forward, together or apart. we know these two are meant for each other and have so much love for each other and will find their way back always. while they may change, the one thing you can bet your ass on is that they fucking love each other.

ralph bohner | the twist that no one saw coming - peter is ralph. it’s clear that he was being controlled by agatha because the moment monica took off the necklace, he woke up from her spell. a lot of people are swirling around to say that he’s probably woo’s missing person. we don’t know that and it’s something that’s left unconfirmed. while i would’ve enjoyed the reveal to be peter actually being peter from the x-men universe, i’m also happy he isn’t. yes there was a lot of fanfare and hope for this series to introduce the multiverse but in retrospect, it would’ve been too much to throw at us at the beginning of phase four. throwing in the multiverse right away would’ve taken away from the series being about wanda (separate point i’ll get to at the end). do hope to see evan peters in a future mcu project, though!

wanda’s story moving forward | i hope wanda becomes a sort of anti-hero for the future. this does set up her appearance in doctor strange 2 and i can’t wait to see what she does. while agatha said she’s destined to destroy the world and her power exceeds the sorcerer supreme’s, i hope the writers don’t make wanda into this villain that loses her logic because of extreme power. wanda has proven agatha wrong already by acknowledging the error in her ways. when she realized she was hurting the people of westview, she let them go and stopped hurting them. she learned that yes, she is hurting them without knowing so what she has to do is let them go. wanda has learned throughout her years with the avengers the consequences her powers can have on people. we know she’s never been trained by a witch and yes, that makes her dangerous with her chaos magic. the second post credit scene shows us that she’s determined to teach herself even if it’s through the darkhold. in seeing what she’s done and the power she holds, i think wanda will be this gray moral character. she holds a great deal of power, the most powerful being on the planet at the moment, and that can cloud her judgement at times. despite being an avenger, this show has really shown us that wanda is alone. while she was with the avengers, what have they really done? they kept her in check and helped her utilize her powers for good but then when civil war happened, she was detained and treated like a weapon of mass destruction. the avengers are clearly nonexistent and those that are around, haven’t bothered with her. i also hope that this new phase of marvel kinda tears down the original avengers and their actions because while intentions were good, not everything or everyone was perfect and there’s consequences. and i hope those consequences are shown through the main characters of this phase like wanda.

the complaints | while i loved this show so so much, i did have some issues. while i enjoyed that this show fleshed out more of wanda’s past, i’m sad that they didn’t confirm or at least try to make wanda jewish since they completely erased her romani roots from the comics. this goes back to my whole thing with representation which i’ve mentioned before in response to an article. while i love elizabeth olsen’s portrayal and care she has for wanda, a romani actress still should’ve been cast from the beginning. the least they could’ve done was at least make her jewish even if ever so subtly because that is the other half of wanda’s identity, even if it’s been retconned often. if they are never going to confirm her as magneto’s daughter in the mcu, at least honor that aspect of her identity if you’ve erased one major one already. representation matters and i wish they tried to do right by the character since they clearly paid close attention to other aspects of her comic book history and took a deep dive into her mental health. come at me for these thoughts but i’ll stand by them. another is just directed at the press for the show (i’m looking at you paul bettany). while fans went ham on the theories and marvel will do anything to misdirect you, i think there should’ve been a clear up from marvel about bettany’s claims of a big cameo coming in the series when it was about himself. i get you don’t want to spoil the show and the big surprises it may hold for the audience but still. i think there should’ve been someone behind the scenes or bettany’s publicist could’ve kinda told him to stop hinting at a super duper big cameo. yes, fans got carried away but i think when you’re doing press for marvel, it should be somewhat common knowledge that fans are going to analyze and try to figure out wtf is gonna happen. it’s fun theorizing, don’t get me wrong but when it’s gone the way it has for this show, i think it leaves a lot of people unsatisfied. i’ll admit i was being a clown thinking i’d see patrick stewart as professor x again since he’s an actor paul’s never worked with before and would be a huge fan service for the audience like in the mandalorian season finale. tldr; crazy fan theories comes with the territory. my final grievance actually has to do with the set up for monica’s engineer. i was also hoping we’d someone big or someone that could be big in the future, possibly it was a skrull at the end but the tone and way monica talked about it, i think it was underwhelming to see a character that we came not to care too much about.

final thoughts | overall, i loved this show and it was refreshing to see marvel embrace the magical side of their universe as it continues to expand. the cast was amazing. everyone in the cast and crew deserve awards because this really gave us a show about wanda. i think a lot of people lost that (including myself) with all the theorizing; goes back to my complaint about press for the show. it gave us a show that dealt with trauma and grief in a way we haven’t seen before in marvel’s cinematic universe. i’ll admit i didn’t care much for wanda as i did with the others but this show made me care for her a lot more and made me a bigger fan of her and vision’s story. it grounded itself in dealing with wanda’s grief and trauma in a new way while also exploring her character more. so i’m happy that we didn’t get a super big cameo or that the multiverse wasn’t confirmed because then the tone and attention would’ve shifted away from this story being about her. i hope marvel can give us shows like this that make us care about a character’s emotions and feelings rather than just how cool and badass they look in a suit. it was clear that the cast and crew made this with such love and care that had good storytelling and kept us on edge every week. i hope that marvel can show us these types of stories and ranges from characters in future movies as well.

[glitterfairy-21225]

WandaVision Wishlist/Theories

Okay, my thoughts have pretty much been consumed by WandaVision, Spider-Man 3, and this whole multiverse. Ironically, when I first heard about a potential multiverse in Far From Home I was relieved to find out it was all a facade. I wanted the MCU to remain an isolated world in itself, I guess not really understanding what a multiverse story could lead to. Now that I have a grasp of what might be happening, I have not only changed my mind but I've fallen into my fanfiction trend of waking up each morning, going through the day, actively going and looking for old news, hoping for a new update of some sort. So my wishlist. Some ground rules first; I'll also write individual wishlists for the others, this is just for WandaVision but also some of the stuff pays off later and I'll talk about that.

Evan Peters Quicksilver. I've said this multiple times so I'll keep it quick. I keep telling myself to just accept a cameo, but I hope he plays a big part, maybe coming back to help in Doctor Strange, maybe bringing his universe's heroes with him. I sort of see Wanda having a breakdown at the end of one of the episodes and doing something freaky with her powers, and it ends on the wham shot of Peter Maximoff asking who she is. I. Would. Scream.

I've also said that I'd be happy if he plays Mephisto as predicted, but now that I've really thought about a Quicksilver.... That might not be true anymore. That being said, I think the main appeal for me at least would be seeing Peters pull out his American Horror Story acting chops. But that's only if it's not Quicksilver, which I don't see why they wouldn't.

Post credits scene. Now I'm not suggesting one after every episode.... Actually, maybe one after every episode. Why not? It would probably get old quick though, but maybe still. Anyways, what if in the final episode, we get a post credits scene of Wiccan and Speed getting reincarnated. 

Okay, so you know how there's a dream related song playing from every decade they're parodying? For the eighties, do Sweet Dreams Are Made Of This. There may be a better choice for that, but shut up no there isn't. Plus all that stuff about abuse could be applicable to Wanda's situation with her reality world.

Give Jimmy Woo a boyfriend.

Wanda gets her reality warping/hex magic and is revealed to be a mutant. I struggle to even put this because it seems like a given, but a part of me is still like, 'What if they don't, though.' And I can't accept that. Wanda Maximoff is one of the most powerful beings in Marvel. Act like it. I'm sorry, I just love her and her comic powers so much. That's how you write an overpowered goddess, by giving her a crap life and every reason to just explode. I'm glad Marvel's learning.

Maybe start an episode with a prologue of Wanda's backstory with the missiles and her and Pietro going to Hydra. Trailer breakdowns have determined that at points in the trailer it shows Wanda in her first appearance in Winter Soldier. I'd prefer if, either as a basic flashback or a break of reality causing a hyper real flashback, Wanda relives her powers being unlocked by the soul stone firsthand. This could also be a nod to mutants.

Erik Lehnsherr cameo. In another start of an episode, or the same one, show him helping them out as kids. Maybe even Erik giving them up for adoption. Either Wanda doesn't know he's her dad or she does and hates him. If it's the latter, they joined the Nazis out of resentment, because... Come on. Also, maybe he's raising Lorna Dane post plane crash as a foil to his relationship with Wanda.

Show Wanda's struggle. Since House of M is a major inspiration they should draw from that. In that story, Wanda's powers got out of control due to grief and pretty everyone was all for killing her. I kind of hate that when it comes to god level superwomen, they're all either evil or written like Captain Marvel, obvious exceptions aside. The way you write overpowered is by giving the character no control over the massive abilities and having that as a point of contention. 

Two paths for Agatha. A) She’s a villain. Either she works for Mephisto if we go down that route, or she actively encourages Wanda to stay in this strange universe and pushes her on when she has a breakdown. She seems confused but I hope this is either an act, or if not then she just goes with the chaos and uses it to her advantage.

B) Agatha Harkness as a former mentor/mother figure of Wanda's. She seems really confused and not in a fake way in the trailers. Though it could 100% be fake. Maybe the reason she is in Wanda's sitcom world is as she tried to get through to Wanda, like I think Monica Rambeau did. Maybe Wanda's mother was a witch like in the comics (after a shitty retcon) and Agatha raised them after them after their (adoptive?) parents died... Ooh!

Wanda has both magic powers and mutant abilities. Agatha taught her as a child, but she swore it off at some point for some reason. I think I finally understand her powers in the comics, because it never made sense to me, but this does. Simple explanations equal understanding I guess.

Wanda's headpiece. Not as a Halloween costume, but for real that's all. Also I heard someone theorize that her outfit is colored as a sort of couples matching with Vision, which, uh, yes please.

Wanda creates the reality herself, not Mephisto. He still feeds off this dilemma though. She doesn’t know what she’s doing or how she’s doing it, but at some point in the series she realizes what’s happening and decides to devote herself to the false reality, which is when she willingly changes the furniture in the trailer.

As excited as I am for Evan Peters, give ATJ Quicksilver some love as well. I heard that the actor doesn’t want to return to the MCU, which is fair, but still give him some love. And at some point before Evan Peters shows up so it’s not like, ‘Oh yeah, I remember him!’ Maybe a flashback to Wanda before entering the sitcom reality mourning him as well. Maybe sitcoms where everything is wrapped up with a pretty bow is how the twins coped as children. Hell, maybe it was a family thing with dead parents/Magneto/Harkness.

God, I hope that people don’t find this after the show comes out and says, ‘This would’ve been better than that travesty.’ Maybe after the show is completed I could reblog or something to see how much actually came to fruition one way or another. Just the basic wish though, because my brain is too specific for anyone else. Like when youtubers make movie predictions and then play bingo after it comes out.

Edit: Just realizing I didn’t title this... Shit.

[seawolvesanddragons]

NCIS - Season 16, and Why I Still Watch

Guys, this season has been a goddamn blessing. As someone who has watched NCIS for nearly ten years, I’ve seen almost every major cast change, excepting Kate and Jenny. The show stayed stable enough to keep me on after Ziva left, after Tony left, but I was having my doubts about NCIS without Abby, especially after season 14/15. Not that those seasons were bad, but they lacked the spark NCIS usually has. It was at the point where my buddy and I were preferring NCIS LA episodes over the original ones. But this season? My god, this season has been wonderful, in terms of dynamic, episodes, development...I just love it.  Full disclosure - this is about to get weirdly personal and also all over the place, and LONG, because I have thoughts that are demanding they get out. If you want full in depth and clinical analysis of NCIS, look elsewhere. 

These last few episodes, “Her” “Once Upon a Tim” and “Crossing the Line” hit particularly hard. I don’t cry easily, and I didn’t here either, but my heart absolutely did the whole “constrict with emotions” thing several times during those three episodes, particularly with “Her.” And let me say, those who stopped watching the show because Cote or Michael or Pauley left, because these new guys can’t be as good as the nostalgia colored dream team, because the writers/producers “aren’t as good, are riding the coattails of past success” etc...I think you’re making a mistake. Quite plainly, I think you’re wrong, or as Vance would say, I disagree with your opinion. Like I said, I’ve been a fan NCIS for years. I remember the very first episode I saw - it was where Vance had his face off with Kai, the assassin. My dad was  a fan, and it was just a custom in my household that on Tuesday nights, he would watch it while my mom and sister watched Glee in a different room. I wandered in one night, and thought that, as a high school freshman, I could try out some of these “grown up” shows. I remember the line that made me fall in love with the show - “kai-jacked.” I remember thinking “I get that joke. It was funny. I understand this show’s dialogue and jokes.” And that was it. I was hooked. It became a thing, between my dad and I - sure, mom watched it more often than not with us, and my sister was aware of the characters, but it was our thing. Tuesday nights, NCIS. More then once was I quizzed on whatever test I had for Wednesday during commercial breaks, because we didn’t want to wait until Friday to see the episode. It was our little in joke that my dad, former Navy, was listed as “Gibbs” in my contacts back when having nicknames for everyone’s contact was a thing in high school. My dad wasn’t nearly half the taciturn, tunnel visioned, “the second b is for bastard” person Gibbs could be - practically the only thing they shared was a past in the Marines/Navy and a soft spot for family - but somehow it fit. Dad was the Gibbs of my teenaged years. More then once he referred to me not as Ziva, the badass Ninja I admired so, but as Tony, the one I had silently noted was probably the most like me - and that my Dad had noticed as well. I never got an actual head slap, but Dad got the Gibbs stare down pat. Scarily well. I’ve met a few other friends over the years that have watched the show, but most dropped out in the last few years. I don’t blame them - for most it was a time commitment, though some weren’t willing to give the new characters a chance. Others just let watching it slide somewhere around season 14, when the show had a rough patch. I noticed some of the lower moments myself, and its been years since I’ve watched it faithfully every week. But I could never quit it entirely. Even now, when in a different country, I end up sitting down and bingeing on it. Cause a decade down the line, that was dad and mine show. Our connection. Overall, season 16 has been a turn around from the last few years. The development of the characters is consistent, but not rushed. Seeing Jimmy continue to be established as a self confident, intelligent and well trusted confidante makes my heart swell in happiness. He has come such a long way, and the scene this season where he and McGee discuss Vietnam, paralleling Ducky and Gibbs, was wonderfully done. McGee is also doing an amazing job, his role as Lead Agent/Mentor as well as father now reaching a more static position. Remembering his early days back in season 1/2 is incredible. Casey is a great addition, and I love that while Nick is still learning a little to play with a team, his obvious feelings for Ellie are part of his development, not hers. But it was these last three episodes that really cinched the season for me. “Her” was just terrific overall - like I said, I admired Ziva and saw a lot of myself in Tony. Any mention of them gets a thumbs up for me. But it was more of the acknowledgment of how far this show has come in recent years - Tony and Ziva being replaced by Torres and Bishop, Abby by Casey, Ducky slowly by Jimmy. Its largely a new team, just with the same leader. This change eerily paralleled my life - Cote left just as I was starting college. Tony left when I graduated. Abby mere months before I moved continents. My own team, my sphere on influencers back when I started watching the show, is somewhat different now than it was 6 years ago. New people entered my life, and others took on a backround role, or disappeared entirely. As Gibbs’ team changed, so did my stages of life. It’s a somehow comforting parallel, and one that “Her” really drove home for me. “Once Upon a Tim” was just great for some classic Tim character development and storyline - Tim often got overshadowed by his teammates backstories and arcs, so its have a very Tim centric episode, especially one that includes Delilah and the twins as central to his life but isn’t focused on them.

But “Crossing the Line?” That was the episode that hit me where I wasn’t expecting it. All through the episode, you get the feeling that Max is clearly more than he appears. The twist that he’s the son of an agent killed in the bombing? That was the unseen bullet. See, I remember that season finale probably better than any other NCIS season finale I have seen or will ever see. The bombing. Chaos. Ducky’s collapse on the beach with the phone call. The uncertainty I had of if everyone was going to survive this. It’s burned into my memory, because not three weeks after I watched Ducky collapse from a heart attack, my Dad died unexpectedly from one. Its become a part of life I’ve had to accept, but needless to say NCIS always brings up memories of my father, and certain episodes are harder to watch because of it. I’ve never seen that season finale after it aired - I can’t bring myself to. But Tony leaving the show a few years later felt like reopening the wound, as if Tony and Gibbs no longer being on screen together was another nail in the coffin of my own “Gibbs and Tony” chapter. This episode had a similar impact. Watching Max, six years later, try and deal with his own pain, mirroring my own similar journey...it affected me in a way tv shows rarely do. Particularly about deaths - hollywood is terrible at writing teenagers with dead parents, and death in general, and NCIS is not always an exception. Listening to Torres open up to Max, hearing someone talk about how this pain of six years sucks, but also isn’t going away, meant something to me. This wasn’t writers phoning it in or riding coattails. This was actual, genuine writing, acting, and emotion. Even if the dead parent always having a “saying” is an age old cliche - of course the dead relative always said some wise adage that fits the situation. Because people talk like that, right? The line “I’m not my father” was another emotional hit, particularly following Tim’s episode. I had actually been hoping that the writers would take a different route with it though - following the dead parent’s footprints is another cliche, and NCIS loves it. That instead of Max agreeing with Torres that he could consider an agent, that not being his father was meant that he was lesser or couldn’t live up to him, it was Max saying he could remember and honor his father in different ways. Because I know those words, “I am not my father.” I’ve been running with those words as far away from his shadow for five years. After his death, everyone wanted to see my father in me, at the expense of my mother’s traits, and my own personality. From my looks, my voice, my sense of humor, my morals, random little things I did or that happened to me - all of it could be traced, somehow, back to one half of my genetic code. I tried to follow his footsteps - did the whole navy path for a year or so, struggled with the difference between what I wanted, what I thought I wanted, and what was expected - just as 16 year old Tim did in “Once Upon a Tim.” But I wanted different things out of life. I learned that I could love and remember my father’s memory without going down some pre-trodden path of mirrors. And I wish that NCIS had taken that risk with this episode, and acknowledged that kids don’t have to become their parents, especially their dead parents. So yeah, this post is long and rambling and has no set structure and is strangely detailed on my emotional state and family troubles circa 2012. But the moral is, NCIS is not past it’s prime. It’s not recycling characters or plots. It’s not going downhill because people left. It’s growing and changing, staying dynamic with time. And it is still capable of creating amazing episodes, characters, and seasons; Season 16 is certain proof of that.

[townienews]

The Townie Crier - Tuesday May 1, 2018

**notice no "It's Gonna Be May" cutesy Timberlake meme here** (mostly because It's Already May! And that meme doesn't exist)

pic.twitter.com/8FPEJMTqmf

— Boston Bobby (@TheBostonBobby) May 1, 2018

Welcome to The Crier for May 1, 2018. Yeah, we settled on a name for this daily ding dong post. @daelderstatesmn suggested that title and gets himself a shirt, and you get this highly digestable dose of daily Boston sports goodness. Links, tweets and videos aplenty. So let's briefly remember a Monday night that exhausted our thumbs and eyes equally...for more better than more worse. Or however that goes.

Let’s goooooooo

A post shared by Celtics GreenRunsDeep (@greenrunsdeep) on Apr 28, 2018 at 7:38pm PDT

And buoyed by that vintage double troll job playoff shirt that all in attendanc eat The Gahden 2.0 received, the hot shooting Celtics dispatched the Sixers (on a 20-1 streak rolling into Monday) in Game 1 of the ECSF, 117-101. Well, the shirt helped. So did great shooting from 3, team heart and hustle (the signature of this undermanned but never to be underestimated Celtics team), and some kickass individual efforts. Like The Buffet (my new name for Horford). Fahk that Average Al or Ordinary Al nonsense. That's old fake news, which is the worst kind. Al's getting it doen all over, from every inch of the court. He's The Buffet because he provides everything you need, and when you need it you can always go back for more. He's one of many making Ainge look like a friggin genius of late. And he'll tell you what you can do with your "Al is average and I can't draft" takes...

Danny Ainge status: still a competitor. pic.twitter.com/TcOWQL0OqQ

— NBA on ESPN (@ESPNNBA) May 1, 2018

No, but seriously, Horford has been great. It's like one of those high school rom-coms where there's no attraction until the kids get in detention of are stranded in some absurd situation together, and then suddenly love blooms. COnvenient how that works.

Al Horford has been a monster in these playoffs. An absolute force on both ends. Hopefully we've heard the last of the "overpaid Al" stuff. #Celtics

— Evan Lazar (@ezlazar) May 1, 2018

Oh...and if you're feeling THE BUFFET as much as we are, might I suggest a new Horford jersey or such? (**shameless merch plug**)

Umm...back to Ainge being a boss at his job? I think again, if not especially with Fultz on display miserably in the Garden, he came out smelling like fresh beer and roses when Tatum went off. Again. This kid's all-around everything is absurd. AND HE CAN'T LEGALLY DRINK.

"He's a rookie!" #CUsRise 😂😂 pic.twitter.com/t8bwFeHQMn

— '03 Kliff Kingsbury (@fearthe_beard11) May 1, 2018

Granted, the likes of Tatum and Horford were enabled offensively by Philadelphia's famous "Phantom Zone" defense.

Nice defense pic.twitter.com/rhxmDFMVpc

— John Karalis 🇬🇷 (@RedsArmy_John) May 1, 2018

But nothing - not fatigue, Philly's hot streak, an invisible defense - nothing was holding Terry Rozier back. This friggin guy...

The Boston sports fan heart is pretty full these days. But Terry Rozier is fighting hard to find himself a place in there.

— Fitzy (@FitzyGFY) May 1, 2018

Calling him SAVAGE for his pregame and in-game antics would be correct, but also an understatement. He's a savage, alright. And a beast. And the easiest guy to like and rally around. A savage rally beast. Filling in for Kyrie and dropping 29 in Game One against the Sixers? Draining threes left and right. And setting the emotional tone for the team and the night upon arrival...

Drew Bledsoe knows who Terry Rozier is! (Via @espn) pic.twitter.com/NoNI2pT76b

— Ballislife.com (@Ballislife) May 1, 2018

And now we've got this unexpected random magical bromance between Rozier and Drew Bledsoe? Couldn't ever have seen that coming, but that's the magic of playoffs in Boston. Can never be enough love for Drew by me. That he's become the symbol or icon, rally monkey of the Celtics playoff run thanks to an accidental troll job? (Guinness vice) BRILLIANT! Everyone needs to wear their Bledsoe jersey to work this week. So they can reach their peak Rozier level. Game 2 Thursday night, already can't friggin wait! And that genius Brad Stevens has deployed a stellar lineup to counter what should be quite acharge from the Sixers...

The Celtics have announced their Game 2 lineup: -PG: T. Rozier -SG: T. Rozier -SF: T. Rozier -PF: J. Tatum -C: A. Horford Bench -Terry Rozier -T. Rozier -Rozier -PG #12 -The guy in the Drew Bledsoe jersey -The guy Ainge wouldn’t trade for 100 first round picks

— NOTSportsCenter (@NOTSportsCenter) May 1, 2018

Oh - and Sports Radio and Hot Take Nation who will give the Celtics no credit and say that Philly played no D ("Philly used the New England D plan from SB 52" - you'll hear that shit)...you guys can tuck it and suck it!

via GIPHY

Meanwhile, in other Boston professional sports persons team playoff action...the Bruins lost to the Lightning 4-2. Gonna be honest (Monday was National Honesty Day)...I didn't really watch much. Beex were up 1-0. Woprst case (which played out) they go home split. So nice work, head help high, fellas. I thought the C's need my attention Monday (I don't parent mutliple children well). I read something about a bad call, Marchand getting hosed, Cassidy, who's a feisty sonofabitch in a Men's Wearhouse suit, wasn't happy. Good! A happy hockey cocach is an ineffective one (or so I heard...or not...I don't know hockey). They'll come back, chip on shoulder, tied in best of 5 with home ice in their pocket. Wednesday night, maybe the Bruins should all come to work wearing Drew Bledsoe jerseys??? Because this QB rally showing for a different hockey team didn't make me feel any better...

I really didn’t need to follow a Bruins loss by immediately seeing Jimmy G pump up the Sharks. God damn, plunge the dagger

— Pete Blackburn (@PeteBlackburn) May 1, 2018

And on the same night he was named to the NFL Network Top 100!

He has yet to lose a game as a starter 👀@49ers QB Jimmy Garoppolo (@JimmyG_10) is #90 on the countdown!#NFLTop100 pic.twitter.com/SPwl3KIbtL

— NFL Network (@nflnetwork) May 1, 2018

When Tom Brady did an appearance with Jim Gray and said he didn't feel apreciated by the Pats (**cough** Belichick)

Tom Brady was asked today at the Milken Institute Global Conference if he feels appreciated by the Patriots. His response: "I plead the 5th..." pic.twitter.com/8Tl6k5emj9

— Tom E. Curran (@tomecurran) May 1, 2018

Come on, Sports! Can't I just enjoy this Celtics win and the Pats draft, and the night, and maybe a whole week without any Pats related off-field disharmony or disturbance or disfunction or other dis- words? Not now...nope. Not. I can't...spent too much time wondering WTF with TFB and the NEP this offseason after the February 4th flying nutpunch. All set, check please! I'll pass. Too busy feeling good about what's coming this week, this fall...we'll just leave at it Tom being a sass, keeping the Pats atop page views for a while, taking attention away from the other teams who don't need the scrutiny? AWW MAN! Tom, you magnanimous SOB! Or maybe it was to get you in the news to elevate Best Buddies ride awareness? No press is bad press, right? Just ask Michelle Wolf! **NEXT MORNING UPDATE-AGE** There are plenty of sound bites of Brady paying due respect to Belichick and saying he knows BB is best for him, tough to play for, and that they make each other their best. Which is what we've all always known. Again, they don't need to quilt together or share recipes or watch "This Is Us"., Just win football! Enough Fake Foxboro News! Alright, enough of that for now. We'll let it slide until someone tells me I should give aflying summer sausage. OH...and the Sox won, beat the bumbling Royals, 10-6. E-Rod sucked himself off early, but fear not - healty Xandah to the rescue.

Heads up we got a piss missile on the Pike expect delays seek alternate route pic.twitter.com/HoKIUe6hOs

— Jared Carrabis (@Jared_Carrabis) May 1, 2018

2 wins in a row? HOT STREAK AHOY! use caution when handling these Sawx! KC coming to town might be the perfect remedy to flush last week away like a carton of old chineser food you know will smell the garbage barrle up too much. Alright, so there we go - C'ss and Sawx win! Bruins lose! Brady wants the love. Now let's all carry on and booze. Hapy Tueday, ya humps. More soon - make sure you catch the Draft webcast, and all-new slew of NFL FAN THERAPY coming all week long. GFY!

[panticwritten]

Breaking Furnace Book 1: Lockdown

Chapter 3: Down The Rabbit Hole, Alice

Here is chapter 3!

I’ve had to change quite a bit of formatting to post on tumblr because I am a fiend when it comes to using different fonts and tools and junk in my writing. If you want to read this chapter with its original formatting, you can do so here.

Table of contents!

All of my writing!

Remember that this is a daydream taking place in the Escape From Furnace universe, so keep that in mind if you haven’t read EFF.

Word count: 4485

Triggers for this chapter:

Being misgendered

Sexual harassment

As always, let me know if you need anything tagged.

Chapter four will be up on Friday, January 12th, at 7pm.

If you like what I do here, maybe consider buying me a Ko-fi or checking out my Patreon! I love being able to put so much out for free, but this would be a great way to show support and also see cool new content!

~-S-~

The process is a blur. Decontamination, new clothes, and waiting for the elevator. The suits stay in good spirits, though I try to be stern when they talk to me like a friend. I’m here as a prisoner, and they know it.

This isn’t going to help me stay safe in the prison. Already, each time one of the guards addresses me like an equal, Monty fixes me with an openly hostile glare. I doubt he’ll keep quiet about how close I am to the guards once we’re inside.

The awkward, one-sided conversation the blacksuits have been putting me through ceases when the elevator arrives. I rush in and ignore the whirring of the machine gun that comes to life on the roof of the car. The suits bid us—me, specifically—farewell, but I ignore them and glare at the floor.

The suits just laugh and begin to walk away as the doors shudder. The moment they close, I steel myself. We’re going down.

Underground.

I take a deep breath and try to put it from my mind. I’ve been here before, I can handle it now. Setting my shoulders, I wave a hand to freeze the camera pointed at us.

I gaze at the two new boys, polar opposites from each other, and try to figure them out. I don’t know how much sentience they have, or whether they’ll help or hinder the escape. I guess there’s only one way to find out.

“Camera’s off, we have the whole ride to talk.”

Jimmy, the tall, skinny one, immediately starts listing off questions. Some of them are things I want to explain to Alex and Zee, anyway, so it really doesn’t help me assess him. Are these his questions? Or mine?

“What did you mean when you said we’ll all get out of here? Didn’t you work for Furnace? How did you stop the camera? Stop time?” I raise a hand to stop him before he wastes the whole ride. I need to know.

“I meant that I’m blowing the lid off of this place. Again. There’s a reason I worked here, and it’s not because I’m a sadist. I—”

“You’re crazy,” Monty mutters. “No one’s getting out, you’re just a lunatic. Why do you think they sent you here instead of Max? Don’t listen to her, Jimmy.” He turns to Alex and Zee. “You two shouldn’t be buying into this, either.”

I look at him. I’m not sure how much of that was him and how much of it was me, but it hit home. Just a little bit, that hurt.

But that’s nothing new.

“This won’t be the first time I've had this place torn apart.” He scoffs, and I narrow my eyes. “We’ve beaten Furnace before. I mean, Zee even assaulted his warden a couple times.”

“Don’t drag me into this,” Zee mutters.

“Are you saying you aren’t scared of him?” Monty challenges. I start to laugh, maybe a little nervously. Christ, that’s not what I’m getting at at all.“And if you beat Furnace, what's the prison still doing here?”

“I-”

“And how are you freezing things?” Jimmy asks. I look back at him, surprised. That’s easy, something everyone in the Cube knows by now, so I think he’s mostly cognizant. I should probably be real with him, then.

“None of this is real, kiddo. It’s an elaborate daydream of mine, and you got caught in it.”

“What?”

“It’s a game, Jimmy,” I say with a dramatic sigh. “A fabricated world. You guys were supposed to be part of the scenery. I made a mistake, as cold as that sounds.” I shrug, itching at the skin on my arm concealing the key. It feels weird. “Anyone who dies wakes up somewhere safe. That includes you now, I think.”

The look on Monty’s face tells me he has something else to say, but the elevator begins to grind to a halt. I still don’t know about Monty, but that'll have to wait.

“Wait! I have to put the cameras back, we can talk about this later.” I wave the camera back on just as the doors begin to open.

At the front of the crowd in genpop, four familiar faces approach. The rest of the Skulls follow close behind them. I note that Donovan, Dominic, and Connor wear the black Skull bandannas along with the usual crowd. Kevin must have let them join the gang this time. Protection in exchange for another chance at getting out.

The idea of Donovan in the Skulls is so absurd that it takes me a second to remind myself of the eyes on me.

“Look what we have here. What’re you in for, girlie?” Kevin croons, stopping right at my feet.

I respond with what I hope is an easy smile.

“How nosy. Am I supposed to be scared, Chicken Pox?” I breathe. I lean forward and whisper in his ear. “Make it believable.”

I don’t get a chance to pull away before his fist sinks into my gut.

I double over, and he laughs, pushing me back. I sink to the floor, winded, and glare up at him. I guess I asked for that.

“Yeah, little girl, you should be scared,” he says with a smirk. The siren sounds before he can take it any further. He leaves without another word and joins the throng of inmates gathering in a yellow circle painted on the floor of the yard.

Alex and Zee help me up, and I take a moment to catch my breath. Jimmy hangs back, and Monty glances at me.

“You know him?” the short boy asks.

I wave him away, though I do bob my head in a nod. “ Kevin. He’s gonna keep us alive 'til the game really starts.”

The doors at the far side of the yard open with another siren blast. My stomach squirms at the reminder of where we are. I tell the others to stay sharp in a low voice, though Alex and Zee certainly don’t need telling.

Three blacksuits, the guards of Furnace Penitentiary, step out first with shotguns slung over their shoulders. Their grins, half-moons wider than should be possible, almost identify them more than the crisp black suits they wear.

Then come the wheezers. The hairs on the back of my neck stand up, and I clench my fists. Withered soldiers, their gas masks hide the truth. Ancient tinkerers working on flesh and bone to create beings that are more than human. The cost, however…

Catastrophe.

Finally, the real monster emerges. Two of his giant, skinless dogs pant at his heels. His skin looks off, but it’s hard to tell exactly what it is at a glance. Leathery, dry, a mummy disguised as a businessman. The pits of his eyes are nearly impossible to look into.

I don’t need to see them, though, to know the truth. I see past his welcoming grin at the villain beneath. For an instant, I manage to catch his eye and it’s nearly too much. I feel the world peel away, my thoughts twisting. All of the nectar in the room, the prison, in this world almost brings me back. It almost turns me right here.

Instead, the prison snaps back into place and I glare defiantly at the warden of Furnace Penitentiary.

My adoptive brother, if I were to listen to Connor.

He begins his obviously rehearsed speech, promising us an easy stay if we follow the rules. I ignore him, having heard this many times before. It doesn’t take long for him to get down to business.

“Jessica Furnace. Prisoner number 201239. Cell A10, ground floor.” I breathe a sigh of relief. At least he gave me my own cell. I stride into the ring among shocked mutters that quickly morph into catcalls and jeers. I ignore them as the others are divvied out.

Alex goes with Donovan, Zee finds a boy named Carlton Jones, Monty grudgingly joins Kevin, who shoves him to the side. Pointedly ignoring Cross’s words, I don’t think to listen for Jimmy’s cellmate’s name, and I don’t recognize the boy he finds in the crowd.

We stand separated by the crowd and wait through the rest of Cross’s address. I don’t pay attention, scuffing my toe against the dusty ground. Paper shoes, a must have fashion item in this prison, already make me want to to cut my feet off. A siren sounds, and my brother smiles.

“Beneath Heaven is Hell. Beneath Hell is Furnace. Enjoy your stay.”

He moves to turn away, and I bring my hands together in a ringing clap. The clamour of the other inmates freezes. The warden’s dogs stop growling. The man himself is frozen in time. I watch him steadily for any sign that he isn’t affected.

After Monty and Jimmy, I certainly wouldn’t be surprised.

When he doesn’t move, I jog out of the crowd.

“Jess, hey—hey, Jess!” Dominic calls from the circle. I haven’t talked to him in a couple months, and I’m not quite ready to break that streak. Instead, I survey the blacksuit numbers.

It takes a while to walk through the prison and check all of the rooms, and in the end I only find fifteen of them. Fifteen guards watching over hundreds of inmates.

This isn’t up to regulation. I mean, I’m happy that they’re dropping shift numbers. I’m overjoyed about it. It just makes me feel like he isn’t taking me seriously.

How rude.

Now, the cameras. I skirt the edges of the yard, work areas, and above to find the small lenses. There are only two new ones. Neither of them close the blind-spots protecting our escape route. He’s still not taking me seriously.

Maybe he agrees that what happens here is secondary to the events after we leave genpop. Maybe he wants the excuse to tear us apart. Maybe he has plans for us when we reach the underbelly of the prison.

It doesn’t matter. I smile anyway, more to boost my confidence than anything, and stride to Cross himself. The boys’ quiet discussion makes me long to join them. I have one more thing to do, though.

“Hang on. What the hell are you doing?” Donovan shouts from behind me as I search through the warden’s pockets.

I keep my eyes resolutely away from his face, though I know he’s frozen where he stands. While my history with him means I can meet his eyes easier than most, I would really rather not.

Eventually, I find what I’m looking for in his jacket’s inside pocket. I press my free hand against the skin of my upper arm and the key rests in my hand when I pull it away. With a click, I convert it into a pen. When I touch it to my brother’s notepad, the words flow smoothly.

Still playing nice? Unexpected, coming from you. Maybe we’ll be able to speak face to face soon. Not too soon, though, I hope.

Perry.

I then replace the notepad and hide my key again. Alright, time to join the others.

It looks like Zee is explaining everything to the new kids. Just as well, now I won’t have to do it.

“Listen up!” I call. The words I mean to say dry up in my throat when my eyes land on Monty. I address him. “Now that you’re here, we need to step up our schedule.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he demands. The original crew shifts uncomfortably, but I merely blink at his immediate anger.

“Since you’re one of us, we need to get out of general population before they take you away. I wanted to save you this time, anyway, so I set up a warning ahead of time.”

“‘This time?’ ‘Take me away?’ What does that even mean?”

I glance at Zee, and he shrugs. He obviously didn’t mention our previous runs. I’m on my own here.

“Down below, Cross is experimenting on prisoners. Without intervention, he’ll take you and turn you into one of his soldiers.” I nod at a frozen blacksuit in Cross’s procession, if only to avoid Monty’s darkening glare. “Just like the rest.”

“So I was right,” he accuses, and I look back at him to find the same accusation I point at myself. I force myself not to look away. “You don’t actually care about us, do you?”

I stare blankly at him, trying to find the energy to respond to that. He doesn’t back down, but then, I didn’t exactly expect him to. I still don’t know if he’s one of us, or if his words come from myself. After a minute or so of silence, I avert my eyes and let out a breath.

“Listen, Monty. I’ve watched you get turned into a blacksuit more times than I can count. I decided that I can’t stand to see it again. You may be right, maybe I am a monster, but I would rather die than see another one of my friends be torn apart and sewn back together in this place.”

He doesn’t respond, so I turn to the others. Only Connor will meet my eyes. The others’ faces are twisted in semblances of grief. I set myself and begin again. I don’t want to think about this.

“I’ve shifted a few things in the prison’s schedule in the short time I had on the surface. When Gary gets here, we’ll have a week to prepare. We need him to get out of here.” I pause and consider what else I need to tell them upfront. “After we blow out, we probably won’t be able to talk in secret like this.”

“How'd it go last time? You know, if it’s so different now?”

I consider Jimmy and his question, trying to decide how much to tell him. The silence doesn’t last long enough to become awkward before I break it.

“I couldn’t save Monty. He was turned into a monster down below. I’d wormed myself into the Skulls in time to keep the gang from getting taken over by Gary.” My fingers remember the tacky blood, and I clench my fist to chase the feeling away as I speak. “We lost Kevin and I took control of the gang to keep things on track.”

“Hey.” Connor’s voice brings me back and I shake my head slightly. I turn to see him eying me with concern. I flash him a grimace before looking back at the now queasy-looking Jimmy.

“Gary picked a fight with me soon after and he was sent down to the infirmary early,” I continue briskly. “We almost didn’t get out of the prison because of that. It’s too dangerous to risk it again.”

“And that’s the only reason you wanted to save me?”

I turn my eyes back on Monty, not wanting to answer. He seems to take my silence to mean the worst, but I’m honestly just too exhausted to get into this with him.

“We already have some gas stored away,” Dominic blurts.

I give him a nod, grateful for the subject change, and return his smile. He doesn’t expand on his outburst, so I look to the others for confirmation.

Connor rolls his eyes and steps forward. “Not that much. It’ll probably shave off a couple days of gathering, though.”

I grin and finally relax. I can’t help myself, rounding the group to catch the old crowd in hugs. Kevin grumbles, Donovan laughs, Dominic smiles sheepishly, and Alex and Zee both hug me just as tightly. I save Connor for last, holding him longer and tighter than the others. When I pull back, I breathe a sigh of relief at how good he looks.

Healthy. Unhurt. Alive.

I wonder, again, how long he’s been here.

“God, I missed all of you so much,” I say, my hand still lingering on Connor’s arm. “Have you counted how many you have? Carried them to the crack?” I list out more questions that I don’t really expect answers to as Donovan leads the way to the chipping rooms.

Connor leans closer to whisper to me as we enter the wide room. I stop, and he pauses beside me, almost looking like he might turn into one of the two open rooms. “A lot longer than you, if you really want to know.”

“How long?” I press, my lips barely moving.

He doesn’t answer, striding ahead of me with an infuriating smile. He takes an offered helmet from Zee, turns its light on, and ducks into Room Two, the only entryway boarded up out of the three. I huff and cross the room to take a helmet of my own from the floor and join the others in the darkness of the blocked room.

Peering into the pitch black, it hits me again that we’re underground. There’s a mile or more of rock above my head, and I screw my eyes shut to try and push the thought away again. I’m fine.

I’m fine.

I’m always fine.

A hand closes around mine, and I open my eyes. Connor, his eyes shining in the light filtering in from the main chipping room, watches me steadily. I grip his hand tight, and he squeezes mine in return.

“Hey. You’ll start time again if you aren’t careful,” he says. The words sound like an admonishment, but his voice is gentle. I ground myself on those words and nod. He pats the top of my helmet, grinning.

He doesn’t let go of my hand, and I’m grateful.

I inspect the floor beneath the slats of the boards designating Room Two as off-limits. There aren’t any gloves here, so I shake off the last of my worry and continue into the room.

Lights dance further ahead, the others rushing on. We walk in relative silence, trying to ignore the eery echoing of voices up ahead. We pick our way over and around fallen rocks, evidence of the cave-in. I stop, once or twice, to take a breath and remind myself that this is fine.

Even if it would be all kinds of embarrassing to die in a cave-in when I’m planning on picking a fight with the closest thing to the devil I can imagine.

The gentle sound of the distant river quickly picks up, and I remember how Alex thought it was one of Cross’s dogs when he first discovered this place. It’s certainly loud enough, and the river is so much more dangerous than the dogs.

At least with the dogs, running sometimes works.

“You’re fifteen here, yeah?”

I look up to Connor. The beam of my light misses him, and his face stays in eerie darkness under his helmet. His eyes glint in the ambient light, bringing the silver eyes of Cross’s suits and rats to mind.

At the thought, his light jerks away and points straight ahead once more. I follow suit, keeping my eyes on the path ahead of us.

“Yeah. Sixteen next month,” I answer solemnly.

“Right, right,” he mutters, distracted. “Then it would be three years. A little more than that, maybe.”

I stop. Looking back up at Connor, my light hits his chest and lights up his face. He doesn’t seem bothered, but that’s so long.

Three years?

In the low light, I can’t tell if his expression is a smile or a grimace. He tugs on my hand and I trail behind him, shaking my head. If he really doesn’t mind, I shouldn’t worry about it.

We don’t talk for the rest of the journey, though it isn’t very far. We come to the gathering of our small group, the roar of the river beyond the rock wall overpowering almost everything else. The chill in the air soothes my frayed nerves, and I let go of Connor’s hand to join the others.

Donovan makes a wisecrack about the two of us taking so long, and I knock into his shoulder as I pass. Most of us laugh, but I catch Monty and Jimmy conversing near the edge of the group. I’ll leave them alone for now.

Instead, I focus on the long crack in the floor, maybe six inches wide, cutting through a few yards of the red rock. I trail my gaze along the break in the otherwise solid rock until my light falls on the collection of gloves poking out of the crack near the wall.

I immediately turn around and focus a feigned glare on Connor.  .

“What?” He shrugs, not even trying to hide his snicker, and the sound broadens my grin.

“Only a few? Ass.” I can’t hold back my own gale of laughter when I run forward to count the yellow gloves.

We have a headstart of 30 gloves. We need about 150 if we want to break through the rock without death chasing us. Timing won’t be a problem at all now.

As we all leave the closed chipping room, I warn Kevin about my plans for the day.

He seems dubious, at best, but I’m not sure if that’s because of the plan or him thinking I’m wrong on principle. He doesn’t argue much though, which I take as an agreement.

I duck out of Room Two, last again, and make my way back to the yellow ring. I check to make sure that everyone’s back where they belong. Still, to be sure, I call out a warning before lifting my hands.

With a sharp clap, I return the flow of time to normal. I watch the warden, my gaze steady. He’s been dealing with the Cube long enough that he should be able to—

He pauses before leaving, straightening his jacket and scowling. I flash him a grin before turning away.

He knows, for better or for worse.

I meet with Alex, Jimmy, Monty, and Zee in front of my cell.

“So, normal life. We can hide the gloves in my empty bunk. Make sure you keep your heads down, the last thing we need is for the the other inmates to get wind of what’s going on.”

“Rubber gloves full of gas; do you really think I’m stupid enough to think that’ll work?” Monty scoffs.

This is getting more than a little exhausting. I’m almost 90% sure he’s not sentient, that he’s just me hitting myself over the head with a branch. I deserve it, probably.

“Think what you want. We all have more important shit to do than convince you that we’re right.”

~-S-~

I lounge in my cell, waiting for lunch. Sometimes, someone will notice me watching and make towards my cell. They always find themselves distracted by something or other, though. It takes several rounds of this for me to make the connection.

Skulls. Every time, a Skull distracts, deflects, or picks fights with anyone getting too close. Kevin must be behind that, the piece of garbage.

When the first few inmates begin drifting toward the mess hall, I stand and head that way as well. I might as well try to get some food for myself before I start a fight. Somehow, I make it there without any distractions.

How convenient.

Maybe I should check my settings, kick the difficulty up a notch. I allow myself a laugh at that, attracting a couple glances. I don’t know how I would even go about a change like that, but I can still hope.

The trough room itself is about the size of a high school gymnasium, rows of rusting tables fit with matching benches. I skirt around the edges, eyes on the counter surrounded by inmates clamouring for food, trying to ignore the open glares from those already seated.

They have every right to hate me, of course. I worked for Furnace, and most of these kids already know that. The ones that don’t will be filled in by the end of the day, I’m sure.

Approaching the counter, I lift a metal tray and follow the example of those ahead of me, holding it out in expectation of slop. It doesn’t look good, not in any sense, but it’s still food.

None comes, and I narrow my eyes at the boy behind the counter.

“We’re out,” he says in a deadpan as the kid next to him drops a spoonful of the gunk on another’s tray.

I tighten my grip on the tray, struggling to push the irritation down. I can’t start a fight, not yet. I force a smile and pull the tray back out of his reach.

“Of course,” I murmur. His answering grin is gloating. I drop the tray, watching his smile slip with the clatter of the metal on the counter. I turn and push back through the crowd to lean against the wall near the door.

I guess I’ll just wait.

Moments later, Kevin and a few Skulls, including Connor, filter into the trough room. Connor pauses when he sees me, but only barely. He recovers quickly and stays with the group.

They obviously have no trouble getting their food, as big, bad gang members. I scowl, watching them take a seat not far away.

I stare at them, frowning. Connor meets my gaze and leans over to whisper to Kevin. He doesn’t show any sign that he sees me and leisurely finishes his slop. I bite my tongue to quell my impatience.

Kevin drops his spoon.

I step forward. I watch with mild interest as a few of the gang members tense up, as if to stop me. None of them do it, though. In fact, they move aside as I approach. I stop across the table from Kevin.

“What d‘you want, Furnace?” he drawls.

“I have a proposal for you,” I say, all trace of my anxiety from the real world gone. “A game.”

“This ain’t the place for games, sweetheart,” Kevin answers.

Prick.

“A wager, then?” I concede. “Would you be interested in that? You certainly look the type.”

“Maybe we could work something out. Whatchu got in mind?”

“Well...” I tilt my head with a sly smile. “How about a fight?”

The Skulls laugh, but Kevin’s icy glare shuts them up fast. His apparent boredom only shifts marginally when he looks back to me.

“Who’s gonna fight?”

“Me,” I reach forward to tap his nose. “and you.”

He catches my hand when I’m pulling it back and refuses to let go. He gives me an intimidating glare, and I return his gaze with feigned innocence. He lets go and leans back.

“Whatchu want if you win?”

I drop the smile. “I want you to let my friends and I into your little gang here.”

His eyebrows shoot up, and he chuckles. “And if I win?”

I slide onto the table’s bench, finally letting go of the innocent air I’d been trying to maintain.

“I can do anything that you want, sweetheart, anything at all.” He sucks in a breath. I laugh and hold a hand out. “Deal?”

He eyes me for only a moment longer, then catches my hand in his.

“Deal.”

[canaryatlaw]

So, today was certainly an adventure, lol. So remember how yesterday I had the whole overslept my alarm by 40 minutes thing? Well I mostly thought it was coincidence but I have suspected the brand of melatonin I had been using was too powerful and causing my mid-morning naps. Well, after today I'm convinced that's the truth, and enough of the truth that I got off the bus and went straight to Walgreens to buy a different brand before even going home, lol. So you could say this morning was a bit of a mess. Basically, I got up fine, got ready fine, got on the bus fine. Then I felt a little compelled to close my eyes. And I mean, I have a long damn bus ride (generally a little over an hour) and I never really fall asleep like this so I'll just open my eyes every so often to make sure I know where we are. WELL. Guess what failed miserably??? That plan. I had extra time too cuz I was just meeting my boss outside the building at 9:30 so we could go straight to the CIPP (I'll explain that later). The next thing I know, I wake up and look outside and not recognize it. I look at the front of the bus and the next stop says 33rd street. Time is 9:29. FUCK. The numbered streets don't even start until you get onto the south side, and legit the only times I've been on the south side is to go to midway airport. So I was wayyyyy out of my territory here. So I did the reasonable thing- got off at the next stop and got an uber to drive me back up to work, lol. Thankfully I only overshot it by about 10 minutes or so, and my boss was also running late (which she kind of always is, which at this point I'm okay with) so it wasn't too bad. Ah, but this was only the beginning. So we go to one of the DCFS locations downtown for the CIPP. CIPP stands for clinical intervention to prevent placement- basically meant as a meeting to try and solve problems so kids don't have to switch placements, or at least that's the general idea of the meetings. This particular one was to get two of our clients specialized. If a kid is considered specialized they get more access to services, and the foster parent has to have extra certification for it (they also get some of a higher stipend for the kid, but I mean it's not that much to begin with so its not really a cash grab). It was two sisters, 10 and 13, the 13 year old being non-verbal. It seemed as far as anyone could tell they didn't have any official diagnoses other than cognitive delays but it's very possible they're both on the spectrum. So it wasn't much of an argument, everyone pretty much agreed they should be specialized. And then we still sat and talked, but I have no idea what about because I started fucking falling asleep in the middle of the goddamn meeting, and I could not control it at all. Like I felt like I was going in and out of consciousness, like I would open my eyes but not having been conscious of shutting them before that second it just happened, and my boss had to like, nudge me twice during the meeting to keep me awake. So of course I feel SO bad about it. Towards the end someone suggested a bathroom break and another one said they were gonna get a drink and looked at me like "hey do you wanna get something too?" which I took as my cue to go get some caffeine, they had cans of coke for 95 cents in their vending machine, but even with the quarter I pulled out of my laundry pocket I didn't have enough change, so one of them just took pity on me and gave me a dollar (I insisted she did at least take the change I did have). I wouldn't say I chugged the coke exactly, but I tried to get it into my system very quickly as it definitely helped. We ended not too long after that, and as soon as we're outside I'm like to my boss "omg I'm so sorry I don't know what's going on with me" and she was just like "no I'm just like concerned about your health like are you okay? Do you do need to go home for the rest of the day??" So I assured her I was fine at this point now that I had at least 12 oz worth of caffeine in my system. So we ran to jimmy johns and ate in the car on the way to our second meeting of the day (I saw "our" but of course I just sit there and watch and say nothing). This was a child and family team meeting, which is just like with the workers and such to try and handle things. Now, there are a lot of messy cases in the foster care system, but trust me when I say this case was a MESS. Basically, this girl's brother had been sexually abusing her and pulling off straight up incest since she was like 8 to the point where SHE FUCKING GOT PREGNANT BY HER GODDAMN BROTHER and when I heard that I was immediately like uh, is that baby okay????? But apparently he's 2 now and no special needs have availed themselves yet so that's definitely a relief. But basically the girl is 17 now and doesn't really want to leave home but the case got screened in anyway, but they can't find a placement for her as a parenting teen so she's been living at home with her shitbag mother and HER FUCKING BROTHER and ugh it made me so mad. My boss told me when they went to trial the mom like made the girl burst into tears because she basically testified "I don't care about you, I don't want you, I just care about my grandson" like um you're a piece of shit and shouldn't be in charge of any child, ever. So we're really far down the south side now, farther than I've ever been. And this meeting is with the family and the various caseworkers. Apparently it used to be an intact case so there was a whole transitory process of switching caseworkers. And also my boss hates the PD on the case with a burning passion, so that's fun. When she saw the new caseworkers name she like hesitated for a second and was like "I may not like her but I'm not sure, I'll know her when I see her though" and OH, she did not like her. It was really funny because my boss has like a really soft spoken voice and sounds just very sweet and calm but she also will not back down from anything, and I had to spent the majority of the meeting with my elbows on the table propping my arms up to somehow cover my mouth with my hands to cover the giant smirk I couldn't help every time they got into a skiff. I'm definitely going to need to develop a better poker face for this kind of thing, because I don't think future coworkers will appreciate me laughing at them (which is though my favorite thing to do when I want to piss someone off). So I really don't know if we accomplished shit in that meeting, but we drove the girl back to the day care place to pick up her son(/nephew) and my boss was like, if this caseworker isn't helping you you call me, ok? I'll make it work. They were talking about something regarding her not going to something the other night and the girl mentioned her son had been sick and was home with her mom, who gave him some pepto bismol which seemed to help. And when she said that I was like wait. Pepto bismol to a 2 year old? That doesn't sound right. So I google and it says there is a "children's pepto" out there but it somewhere different, but pepto bismol is for children and adults 12 and over. We were like at the day care place at that point so I just tried to like super casually ask "just curious, was that normal pepto bismol your mom gave your son?" And she just said she didn't know, which is fair enough, but gives me the feeling it was the adult stuff. So then when she left the car I go to my boss like "yeah pepto bismol is only for kids 12 and over" and she just kind of sighed and said to be careful though because this girl will never say anything negative about her mother, even if her mother's treated her like shit. Sigh. So we drove back to the office, took a bit of a scenic route and got to see the white sox stadium for the first time, and over the course of the day I just had some good conversations with my boss and I feel like we definitely bonded to some extent haha so I was happy about that. We got back to the office at like, 3:45, so I'm like okay I can at least try to be productive for an hour, so I go to my computer and now it won't even let me log in. So I just sigh and go over to the tech guys desk and he's not there, so I wait with my arms leaning over the front and he shows up a few minutes later and just starts laughing when he sees me there again haha so he comes in and figures it out and we have amusing conversations about stupid politicians and other random stuff. It was entertaining. He did get it to work, and then I almost had to go get him AGAIN because of another issue but I figured that one out and got to go back to listening to the calls. Nothing too juicy here, but no phone sex, thank GOD. I did mention that to my boss, who's not the attorney that gave me the assignment and she like died laughing and told me to make sure I included that in the report, because if mom tries lying on the stand that's like, the ultimate impeachment lol. So I listened and took some notes and after a while headed out. Fine ride home, took the bus one stop further than usual (just the next block down) to go to Walgreens and buy new melatonin. I decided to go with a brand I had used before but in their gummy form to see how that goes. And then I grabbed a few extra random things, paid, and went home. I made dinner and settled in with my laptop and started watching Iron Fist. I got through the first 3 episodes tonight and I'm somewhat less than impressed. I heard this criticism from other before starting the show, but even without hearing other people thinking it the pace of the show is just soooooo slow. Like I'm moderately interested in the central plot they have unfolding, but it's just taken them so fucking long to get there it leaves me wanting to bang my head against the wall. Like I don't know if I can take another 10 hours of this when barely anything has happened in the first 3. I'll probably stick it out for the sake of the defenders though, so at least I'll have a full backstory on all of them. The one scene where the ninja girl (I know zero character names other than Danny at this point) kicked that gross guy's ass at the cage fight because that was fucking awesome, and it left me wondering why we couldn't have had a show called "The Daughter of the Dragon" (which is what she called herself) instead? I feel like that would've been a lot more entertaining than this. Another highlight was when not-dead crazy daddy warbucks leaves his penthouse and grandma heroin shows up and scares the living shit out of him, because that was just fantastically satisfying to watch. And yeah, that was about it. Did my back exercises, and I've kind of been experimenting with some other ones I used to just kind of do for fun with putting my legs all the way in the air and just relying on my abs for support and bringing my legs down over my head to touch the floor behind me and then back up again without falling forward, and I think it's been good so far, even if it leaves my neck and head a little sore. I also just find it entertaining, so there's that. Shortly before I finished the show my roommate came home so we talked for a bit as she set up the tiny grill she bought so we can grill stuff for Memorial Day, lol. The grill is very cute and tiny. And we talked about all the shut going on at our alma mater (I forget if I talked about this yesterday? I don't think I did) because they're basically fucking everything up again and majorly changing up the theatre program by firing half the grad staff and moving the grad programs under the umbrella of the undergrad programs, which makes no sense......? And it's weird because my freshman year there the undergrad art programs were considered part of the comm/arts school, not the undergrad, and at the end of that year there was a huge thing about putting it under the undergrad studies school, and our dear acting professor was a very vocal proponent against the move, and half a year later when they decided to fire 8 undergrad professors including him and refused to give us any reason why, it was largely speculated that they were getting rid of anyone who was giving them resistance on what they want to do, and that's how our best prof got canned. So it looks like the alums of the comm school (which I'm not technically one of but they are still involved in this situation) have been leading the fight and just getting everyone to email the administration. So I figured my best argument was hey, I've noticed a disturbing pattern of you rounding up groups of people in mass firings, let me tell you how much you doing that while I was there screwed up the rest of my education there and that I very much blame that decision for it, and while they've pretty much already lost any loyalty I might've had to them I would write on behalf of the current students because I don't want to see them get screwed over like that. Then when I got the response I laughed, because other people in the Facebook group had posted the "stock reply" everyone had been getting, that only varied with some saying "we'll make sure this email gets passed on to the higher ups." Well, my email was like two lines and pretty much only said "we'll pass your email on to the higher ups." I guess I came off as a little too angry to get the "we appreciate your feedback and concerns" response which I really just thought was hysterical. So there's all that bullshit. I'm all for rebellion of course and I'll encourage everyone to fight until their last breath, but I also know that it's always going to be a losing battle because at the end of the day they just don't care what any students or alumni think, they're going do whatever they want. By all means, still fight, raise hell, let them know just how angry you are and fight to the final breath, but maybe just be willing to accept that unfortunately this is something they're going to have to live with, which sucks. I've blabbed on long enough about this though and it's 12:45 am, thank god I get to sleep in cuz I'm gonna need it. Goodnight my people. Happy weekend.