#where are we as a society if that's fat wtf

[ratsandfashion]

wait, someone tried to fat-shame J.ASON M.OMOA?!

[luxuourr]

WHEN YOU know LOA AND FEEL FAT/SKINNY/INSECURE.

currently made this post for me and everyone who has these issues

I've got alot of trauma , growing up as the chubby cute baby became taunts and mockery, i never looked fat and ugly and anything like this , I was always admired everywhere for my body except at my house and over the years it's become my trauma, my mom being a psychologist and still not realizing her solutions from the internet, telling me my leptin hormone is shit,my metabolism is so slow or I have PCOS as an intersex it never made sense, she never did make any sense and I know some people in this community have been struggling and are struggling with weight loss since for years. I have come across this manifesting coach, most of y'all know called electrasoul and for context they struggled with body image issues and weight loss too until it clicked in their mind. Those are some of the most important points I made you'll love. You will fall in love with this guys.

SHE DID NOT CHANGE HER DIET, YOU DONT HAVE TO EITHER.

"WTF that's not true, impossible, nah you need to count your calories and workout to loose weight , ain't no way my lifestyle doesn't have to change and brain needs to be controlled", so it really works like that. First of all this drill of changing diets and workouts that has been draining us people who wanna loose weight has been going on since we have been mature, the biggest enemy of our weight has been our own parents, if you're skinny, you're too skinny. if you're healthy, you're too healthy but you now need to find yourself a balance but it'll only come if you're a LOA person and finally have the will to loose weight, throw logic and society's diets and workouts out rn , if you're too tired for that , you don't need it. The brain is the strongest part of your body because it's capable of doing things you'd never imagine.

KNOWING AND STATE

first you need to know what you want, so you wanna gain or loose weight , or you want a healthy weight? ok did you choose what you want now let's proceed.

all your life they told you to eat less otherwise you'd be overweight and eat more to gain weight but sometimes underweight people genuinely eat enough or don't like eating and don't gain weight and sometimes people who are overweight barely eat at all, it's just their mind " oh I drink water and gain weight " ofc bro you really drilled it in your mind to be this way. The essential step is that don't look for logic. Law of assumption was made to remind you nevillie didn't need knowledge to marry the woman of his dreams and you don't need logic or calories In the world of law of assumption where you made rules. ARE CALORIES EVEN REAL, IS DIETING SOMETHING WHEN YOU ARE GOD?? YOU'RE CREATING THIS ALL THEN WHY ARE YOU LISTENING TO OTHER HUMANS AND THEIR BS WHEN ITS YOUR LIFE.

dieting and workouts is for the weak, the true mind power lies in you, it is now your choice to turn your weaknesses into strengths, It is now your choice to eat food knowing you're gonna loose and reach your body goals with it. So apparently the best way and a good example of this , that you will understand what I mean is, you can still eat food staying naturally in the state or affirming.

calories are nothing to me in my life

eating makes me loose / gain weight

no matter what I do, I have my dream body

my metabolism is slow/fast ( if you wanna loose or gain weight )

No matter what I eat, whatever i do, however I eat, binge or die and cry or spiral, I have to gain / loose weight

this is literally my world so I have decided and have my ideal body and weight.

These are the examples of simple affirmations you can use to persist, even while eating.

DONT COUNT YOUR CALORIES

if you truly believe in LOA stop counting calories , calories is a man made thing , bro who tf even found out about something that you can't see, do fruits grow and are labelled low or high cals? did they experiment people for fat or thin, to find out that?? nahh bffr ☹️ giving the control of your life to some dumbass calories scientists made. We don't believe in that. Girl you're just having a maintained body for the rest of your life no matter what ✊🏻

IT IS YOUR CHOICE

whether you can start affirming and assuming and knowing that you're at your ideal weight , food makes you loose or gain weight or tire yourself with diets and workout if you're already tired from every aspect of your life.

for someone struggling with PTSD AND DEPRESSION

This is an honest advice, goodluck loosing/gaining weight/ getting your ideal body.

you don't have to stop all those sugary stuff and things want, just assume you can do this. ✊🏻🌹

[big-mean-trans-dyke]

i'm trans and your blog makes even me want be transphobic. like just wtf do you think you're doing, if a cis man was running a blog like this he'd be rightly ostracized. like do you seriously think no terf has used this blog to convert other people to be transphobic? this trans separatism bubble where you don't care about how anything you do affects the real world is so goddamn pathetic

ps it's so funny you say shit to terfs like "imagine me doing this n that" when you don't even dare post pics of yourself lol, to me it's rly obvious that you're super dysphoric and do this shit where you feed into the most horrendous stereotypes about us to feel better about yourself and i wanna empathize with that but what the fuck are you doing

tldr; we live in a society you fucking dumbass

Pretty confident this is bait, but a rare genuine response just in case anyone with a brain sees this;

Cis guys run blogs far more heinous than this without consequence, which is something they have the right to do in a kink context.

If a TERF uses a tumblr blog to convert someone to bigotry, that's a person that was already a bigot and just wasn't conscious of it.

I run a small tumblr kink blog, my 'effect on the real world' is limited to hands on genitals.

I don't post pics because this site is notorious for banning trans women for even slightly explicit content, and I don't feel like remaking.

justg tol keep on theme, typing this last bikt with my fat, throbbing girlcock

[littlemessyjessi]

hello ma'am! i dunno if You still accept requests... if You don't, just ignore me, please. but if do, then lucky me!

some time ago i saw posts, where in one an author compared, what bts member is most to least likely to date a chubby/plus size person and why, and in the second one, set up a list: "how many drinks it would take a bts member to hook up with a plus size girl".

tbh the second post gave me '???' reaction, but i saw Your plus size oriented works and couldn't help but think, what would You think about that ideas and how would You do it.

if that's something You would like to write, im so excited to read Your thoughts! 🫶

BTS Members and a Plus Size Reader Partner: Thoughts and Vibes

Hello, darling!

I AM still taking requests for BTS x plus size reader at the moment!

Thank you so much for reaching out!

I appreciate you!

As far as my thoughts go, they are as follows. Let's stretch and begin.

Regarding the first topic: Well, I don't think there is anything inherently wrong with this topic. I mean, plus size is just another variety of person like blond or green eyes or freckles or whatever. I don't really think there's a problem with saying who you think might or might not be into a more cushiony body type for a partner.

But just.... why? I feel like some do this from a pure point of view just out of curiosity. But some do it to be mean... in which case... I'm going to tell Jimin to hit them with a stick.

However, regarding the second topic. .... wtf?

On the one hand, I get HOW people post that and don't get massacred. We live in a society where thin is presented as prime and best.

Not to say that there is anything wrong with slender. There is 100% not and to shame anyone for their body type, regardless of that body type, is WRONG. Again, if you're bullying anyone over their appearance like that.... I'm telling Jiminie and he will get you.

And honestly, if you rely on picking apart someone's physical appearance in a negative way... it kinda seems like a sign of low intelligence.

Like really? I mean, that's kinda of a fucking joke. It's literally amusing sometimes. Not the bullying. Just the audacity is straight up funny sometimes.

I get it. The world's standards are fucked and SK Beauty standards are so unobtainable in general. Blah, blah, blah.

However, to elude to the fact that they would have to be absolutely hammered to be with a larger person?

Brooooo..... that's so fucked up.

If I were any one of them, I'd be straight up pissed for anyone ever even having the audacity to THINK they knew what my preferences were or weren't. Or rather I'd be pissed that they thought they knew me enough to speak on them and that I would need to be intoxicated to find attractive what that writer didn't.

Like broooooooooooooo. In this day and age? Body shaming? Still doing that?

It's giving small brain energy.

It's giving insecure.

It's giving very much stagnant personality and lack of growth.

How embarrassing ....

Here's the thing, none of us know what they like or don't like. We're not them. We can't read their minds. We can imagine though. The difference lies in the details. To ask how many drinks it would take is to insinuate that the plus size person is therefore less than and the member would be in need of a mind altering substance to even consider being with a fat person. Which is fucked. What is wrong with some of these people?

Now, If I were going to write this, I would instead go about it like this.

What each member loves about dating a plus size body. Like, in theory what they might like based on what little information they have released to us. Or what they might like the best about being in a mixed size relationship. Stuff like that.

But shit! I wouldn't be like... "Oh fuck, how many shots do you think it would take Jimin to bang a fatty?"

Like bro, whaaaaat?

I feel like poor Namjoonie would catch second hand embarrassment just reading that shit.

Also, I would never be so stupid as to assume that A, Jimin would play that game or B, that the shots would even touch him.

The man drinks like a fish. I'm almost certain he's part merman or siren or Poseidon him damn self.

I don't know. I can't focus on Jimin for very long.

He tricks me with the cute, lures me in with sweet and then when I get there and I think I'm safe, he turns on the sexy shit.

Mother fucker is out to get me. I'm telling ya'll.

And he fucking knows it.

Anyway, thank you so much for sending in this ask! It was fun to explore and great responding to you! Please enjoy this Koo with a bow and a bunny smile.

Love, K

......

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[gloomiegalaxie]

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Coming! Hang on a second. Hello? Barry? Adam? Can you believe this is happening? I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs, Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. You got lint on your fuzz. Ow! That's me! Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! Hey, Adam. Hey, Barry. Is that fuzz gel? A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around The Hive. You did come back different. Hi, Barry. Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. Hear about Frankie? Yeah. You going to the funeral? No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp under the circumstances. Well, Adam, today we are men. We are! Bee-men. Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive City graduating class of 9:15. That concludes our ceremonies And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick our job today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. Wonder what it'll be like? A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to The Hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! That girl was hot. She's my cousin! She is? Yes, we're all cousins. Right. You're right. At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. What do you think he makes? Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. What does that do? Catches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Can anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about.

Okay so I've never seen the bee movie and my friends had to tell me wtf this was 😂

[magical-glimpse]

https://www.tumblr.com/freemindedspirit/727294021002756096/hi-miaro-i-was-just-wondering-if-i-could-share?source=share

Thank you 😊! So I’m one of those weirdos who does their best thinking when they’re sad, in the dark, or in the shower. Luckily, I was all three today lol. Something that I just realised is how extremely objectifying society is when it comes to how we view our bodies and the bodies of others. I mean, I’ve always known this, but it just suddenly came to me how bodies are always objectified, especially with the presence of social media.

Me being African, it’s common in our cultures to say to young girls: “go change your outfit, your uncle is visiting and he shouldn’t see you like that” or “you should wear longer skirts because the men at church will look at you because you look fast” and it’s like… these are literally children. Wtf.

Or how a girl will just be dancing on social media, maybe not even in a sexual manner, and the guys in the comments will be like “fatherless behaviour” “she knows what she’s doing fellas”, etc.

Not that this doesn’t happen with guys as well, because I’ve literally heard so many women say the vilest shit about men and think it’s okay because they’re a boy/man. For example, look at JK. The shit I’ve seen said about him from when he was under 18 was absolutely crazy. Even if you leave the kpop sphere, watching some of the interviews Justin Bieber had and seeing the questions that he would get at 13-17 from literal GROWN WOMEN were insane.

Or when it comes to fat people, there’s so many people in the comments sections saying “you’re never gonna find a spouse because nobody is gonna find you sexy.” Like where does this behaviour come from? Why does everything need to be tied to sex and/or sexual attraction?

[Disclaimer: I’m very sex positive, it’s not bad to be sexy or to like sex, etc, that’s not what I’m talking about]

Like there is soooooo much more to the human body than just being an object for someone else’s pleasure. Our bodies are literally our vessels, they keep us alive and do so many things. When we look at ourselves through such an objectifying lens, that’s also how insecurities are born: “I wish I had/didn’t have (insert) so that people would find me cuter/sexier/etc” but we are literally so much more than that. So I advise everyone to take a break from wondering if you look cute or sexy to whoever the fuck, just be you.

I agree ! So much of our worth to others have been determined by how we physically or sexual appeal to others, to the point it infiltrated the body positive and fat positive movements. They were meant to be movements led by fat, disabled people and POC who were suffering from discrimination, especially on the medical level, foe not fitting into the fatphobic and racist beauty standards, and it became this "everyone is beautiful" movements.

[ran-orimoto]

Frontier was so fatphobic like Mako. J.P deserved better😢

(Mako is an Oc of mine XDDD)

Now this is interesting in truth. I don’t really consider “Frontier” as an anime that fully brings a fatphobic view along with itself. Indeed, if I have to be sincere, I do appreciate Digimon finally adding a chubby character among the main ones, especially if you consider what Japanese society is like when it comes to what’s different from the <<usual>> (Izumi is another example, even if it was executed really badly).

I’m not sure where this statement comes from, Anon, it would be great to get more details from you! Yet, I can say something: I truly hate a trend they added to Izumi and Junpei’s relationship.

Before that, maybe only Tomoki did underline something about him being fat in the Beetlemon shadow episode, in which Junpei is trying being a leader (poor darling, honestly, he suffers from lack of self-esteem and it sucks) and Tomoki mentions him liking eating a lot of chocolate? That was another bad episode because they all were blatantly mocking him and I wish they had gone deeper in that instead of making Junpei blindly trust his friends. That episode needs a huuuuge rewriting.

Anyway this is what I was talking about:

I mean, what? Where does this come from? Izumi had never brought up this aspect in the whole series until the *cough* super shitty last arc came and she randomly got so mean at him (I’m thinking about the totally random behaviour of hers before entering the library. Like wtf). If there was something Izumi complained about Junpei fairly was his personality and the way he had approached her at the beginning. She had never mentioned his weight before the show went downhill.

Indeed, if I recall clearly, Izumi was the one complaining about her herself being too thin, and she even got so depressed about it when Ranamon underlined this feature of hers. She’s also often represented as someone who likes eating, and in the Akiba city -whatever XD- she also suggested that Junpei and her should enter a food eating contest.

Tbh I’m really glad the english dub erased that shit and made Izumi say Junpei had to help Patamon and Co. carry the asteroid further in the episode the second and third screenshots come from.

PSA: I also really, really like headcanoning Junpei will start treating her coldly for a while because of this behaviour of hers, until she realizes she has been so mean (no, Izumi, you haven’t improved at all). After all, Junpei is a person and it sucks that he had to go through that treatment after what he had done to her.

PSA 2: For real, though. Izumi has always treated the others badly. It would have been nice to give her that storyline, making her understand the problem wasn’t represented by the others, but by herself. How to make a bad-written character even worse at the end of the series: checked.

PSA 3: In this house we don’t want to see this:

[tortoisenottortoise]

Am I the only one who likes seeing muscular women in media more than muscular men?

Alright so, this one will probably end up much shorter and a little more ranty than I'd like, but this is kind of personal so be fairly warned. 

 Recently I've seen a few complaints about the new He-Man show and honestly, I fully understand and empathize with them. Whilst I haven't fully seen the show, from what I've viewed I can personally speaking agree (or at the very least understand) where most criticisms come from. I think it's incredibly shitty that the writer basically lied to his audience about how the show would run. Now normally I'd be fine with a twist such as He-man dying, but he's an important part of the show and the way the marketing & merchandising for it was running kind of comes across as him basically using He-Man's name to get people into the show. I also feel like it's fine to view Teela as obnoxious and annoying, nothing about her personality-wise seems likable to me. I also heard a few complaints about Orko's (I think that's his name, don't crucify me) backstory and how his character was handled.Yet as the title suggests one that didn't stick with me was the criticism of Teela and a general trend towards the criticism of women in media as being "masculine". 

I've heard over and over that Hollywood representing strong women by giving them masculine traits is a bad thing and yet... I kind of don't get it? It feels odd to say, almost like I'm the dumbest man alive for admitting something which most people on the internet seem to be so sure about, yet I just don't understand where this is coming from. I've seen this thrown at She-hulk, Wonder Woman, Abby, and many other characters, yet when inquired it usually loops back around to, "Yeah they have muscles", and that's about it. This type of criticism in specific seems to overly focus on the appearance of said characters. It's the one critique I just can't get behind and it feels like at best it's a shallow criticism that fails to get its point across, and at worst it's actively demeaning to women who desire to or show masculine traits. But first, let me break this down into sections.

Section 1: Muscles =/= Masculinity (In my opinion at least)

Oh boy, I feel like this is a section that might rustle some feathers, but I'm going to try and explain myself best as possible. I simply do not view muscularity as a feature that is inherent to or should be inherent to men. I'm not going to pretend as if muscular men aren't more saturated in media and art, nor as if they're societally treated as masculine, but one of the reasons I fail to understand this criticism is that I see muscles beyond the horizons as being just a masculine trait. 

I believe that muscles should instead be seen as a sign of hard work and determination. As someone who's currently trying (and struggling) to stay healthy and fit, it's much harder than a lot of media portrays it to be. It's a test where you push yourself to the limits, not just for the sake of doing it, but so you can improve as a person. Whenever I go to the gym and see a muscular gal or guy walk by, my immediate thought isn't, "how masculine" or anything like that my thought is, "wow! They worked hard to get like that, I should work hard as well!". 

This interpretation tends to feel like it's just simply taking a piss on people who actively work hard to achieve higher levels of strength. Especially when society places and enforces these unrealistic standards onto people. If you don't have a six-quintillion pack nor can bench press a fucking house then you're worthless, of course, that is unless you actually attempt to pursue said standards which in that case you're automatically dismissed as cheating your way to gaining your muscles instead of putting any work in. And that's just for men who often don't have to deal with traditional idiots who are stuck in the year 1950 where I can't walk on the same street as them. My skin crawls when reading tweets from older men talking about how weightlifting women are "ruining their fertility" and I absolutely hate it when people in my life treat these women as if they're mythical creatures from a fairy tale, or when females who have trained to such a degree are simply dismissed as being inferior. 

Obviously, I don't think the people who say this are like that, but whenever I hear this type of critique I can't help but think of the culmination of all these experiences I've gone through. But then again, this might honestly just be because I'm personally attracted to muscular women.

  Section 2: Body type diversity

  Another reason that I tend to like muscular women in media over muscular men is simply due to the sheer oversaturation of muscular men. Don't get me wrong, I have no problem if anybody likes muscular men. I totally get wanting to shove your face in between some man titties or get inspired by their physiques. In all honesty, almost everything I said earlier can directly apply to men, but one of the reasons I bring up body type diversity is that there tend to be much less muscular women than men. I

f anything, I'd have to say that muscular men are almost treated as the default when it comes to things like superhero comics, movies, video games, anime, etc. In a similar vein, the default for women tends to be slim and curvaceous, you get the drill. Whenever someone who doesn't fit into either body type shows up and isn't treated like a joke/gag or a character to rip on, I can't help but be happy about it. As much as I have no clue wtf is going on with TLOU2, I can appreciate that Abby's portrayal doesn't seem to exist solely as a joke meant to demean women for working out. I'm excited when an anime protagonist is a fat character who can go beyond just being a "fat guy" and is treated the same way a normal person would be.

 Regardless of what you think about whatever trait you're criticizing, there's probably someone out there who fits it. If you're not into it or dislike it, then that's fine, but I'd rather have that expressed than it being actively made out as a harmful trope as opposed to just literally another body type that some women have.

  Section 3: Muscular women inspire me more

Ok so, we've now blown into a full-on personal experience, buckle up boys, girls, NBs, anything in between, and I feel like I'm forgetting someone so apologies! But yeah, muscular women in media tend to be a lot more inspiring than people seem to give them credit for. This comes down to a mix of both the qualities I outlined earlier in what makes the characters inspiring but also plays into the idea of body diversity. 

One of the traits that make amazons seem more inspiring is their inherent rarity/lack of screentime. As I stated earlier, whilst I do enjoy my fair share of man-titties, it kind of gets to a point where it's more depressing than inspiring when all you see is just super-models shoved in your face whenever you walk into a theater. If for every Goku I could find ten other guys who were on the chubbier side then I'd be able to take more from when I see Goku and other characters with his body type, yet it's so saturated that it no longer becomes something to aspire to, but simply the norm.  It's not that you can work to become muscular or skinny with hard work and effort, you have to be muscular or skinny unless you want to be deemed a failure. Being chubby often isn't presented as a starting point but just treated as a defect. As someone who spent years battling with my own self-perception, that's just not a good message to get across.

Now, this obviously isn't to say that people can never make muscular characters. After all, it's their story so they can put whatever they want in it. The aim of the game isn't to stop people from making a specific type of character, but to encourage a diverse set of people to make a diverse set of characters. This is the reason why I view muscular women as so inspiring. Instead of coming across as just "the norm" or "the standard" they stand out from the crowd and despite knowing what they have to deal with, are still ready and willing to work out and improve their bodies. They had a goal in mind and set time aside to achieve said goal, that's something I can get behind.

  Conclusion:

This will be another short section, but I just wanted to mention it because it caps off my thoughts on this post in general. What originally started as me just not getting the reason why people disliked Teela's design somehow turned into a passionate rant and I'm A) not sure if it fits on this particular subsection of the community, B) scared I'm going to get ripped to pieces, and C) somewhat unsatisfied with all that I said. At the end of the day, this probably won't be seen by too many people, but to those who do see it, I hope you have a wonderful day. I just wanted to talk about something that was near and dear to my heart and hoped that I made it clear why I view things the way I do. 

P.S: Can we stop having this double standard where we act like women whose arms show the slightest hint of definition are "unrealistic" whilst men can look like tree trunks and be considered normal and healthy? please and thank you!

[nikaidou-stan]

MY THOUGHTS WHILE WATCHING THE SANGATSU NO LION LIVE ACTION PT. 1

⚠️SPOILERS BELOW!!!⚠️ (also super long post warning?? i have a lot of thoughts sorry)

- they cremating the bodies in front of the whole family???? japanese people mad asf

- ACTUAL REPRESENTATION OF HOW A TEENAGER'S APARTMENT WOULD LOOK IF THEY LIVED ALONE IN IT

- i love how in the movie Kiriyama's almost skeletal, like you can see how loose his uniform is

- SO THE SHOGI BUILDING EXISTS IRL??? BITHC IM SHOOK

- ok Kouda's terrible and all but the actor looks so much like him it's almost scary

- Gouto in the anime 🤢 <<<<< Gouto in the live-action 😍

- wtf is up with Smith's hair like 😭 sir this is why Matsumoto chose Akari instead of u

- "even tho u don't have any friends" "I know that already." KIRIYAMA AND HAYASHIDA'S INTERACTIONS ARE SO NICE I LOVE THEM

- "since I'm a minor, I'll have a juice" boy u literally could've chosen anything else but u ordered a fucking juice. perhaps do u want some crayons and some paper too??

- it's almost embarrassing how in my country kids start drinking at like 12 yo but Kiriyama after one shot is literally dying on the concrete

- AKARI IS SO PRETTY AJNSJIFKJN

- NIKAIDOU MY BOY MY MAN MY PAL MY BROSKI I LOVE U

- also screaming in a megaphone in front of the whole school not realizing he's embarrassing his friend? big kinnie moment

- fuck yeah Hina dressing like an actual 15 yo, no more of that dress over jeans shit 🤢

- Gouto's back muscles >>>>

- MISAKI'S A WHOLE ASS MILF DAMN

- "you have great seniors" "we teach him how to get along in the society" SIMPS

- when Kyouko appears at Kiriyama's door in the anime he's like "omfg not this shit again" but in the live-action he's straight-up scared. i wonder if the director was hinting at something...

- ok no they were definitely trying to tell us something; like the body language, how he refuses to look her in the eyes... poetic cinema (but also really sad)

- THE EMOTIONS ARE SO FUCKING RAW IN THIS OMG I'M IN LOVE

- Kyouko Kouda shut the fuck hup challenge

- finally some representation of people who die after running for 50 meters

- I feel like I could enjoy this movie a fuckton more if I wasn't a highly emphatic person and if I knew how to deal with emotions

- shit, the actor who portraits Kiriyama as a child should get every prize there is

- psa that Smith canonically thinks Kiriyama's adorable

- also Akari has definitely a fat fetish like girl what the fuck is this

bestie you live with a middle schooler and a toddler, at least try to hide it

- "you're unexpectedly good looking, for a shogi player" sis you're just mad he's skinny af

- I really feel like they're exaggerating Nikaidou's character, like hurr durr look at him he's funny and he's fat :/ (or maybe I'm just not ready to face the fact that he's not as cute as I expected him to be idk)

- fuck bro I would've obliterated Kiriyama too 😭 we can't really blame Gouto he did what he had to do

- Kuranosuke Sasaki looks so much like Shimada, I love this cast

- but also why do they slam the pieces on the board?? is it their way of t-posing or something?

- Momo really just had to say "stop being mean >:(" and Kyouko shut up, what a queen

- besties the worst thing about this movie is that Nikaidou isn't at least a head shorter than everybody else

- broke: Gouto's drinking water during the match with Shimada bc he's thirsty woke: he's actually drinking vinegar to assert his dominance

- there's so much sexual tension, I'm not even kidding

- 🎵two rivals best friends in a limousine 🕺 they might kiss 😳

- *sees Shigeta at the workshop* I HAVE DIED EVERYDAY WAITING FOR YOU

- the pigeon guy looking kinda hot tho 👉👈

- aww in the movie Shigeta visits Nikaidou at the hospital with Shimada :D

- Nikaidou's voice is so deep and for what 😭 he's like "calm down Kiriyama, 👹 ÇÄLM DÕWN 👹"

- damn

Shigeta's canonically married

- I'm sad, the pigeon guy looks like he's about to cry :(

- ok now I'm the one who's crying, everyone's so proud of Kiriyama 😭

- they couldn't give us Kiriyama's green eyes, they couldn't give us short king Nikaidou, and now Souya's not even albino??? fuck this, I'm out (jk)

- where tf is Raidou????? who's this old dude???

- hell yeah Gouto, put him back in his place

- god if I were in Shimada's place I would have simply unalived myself

- SHIT THE TRAILER FOR THE SECOND PART IS CRAZY ASF WHEN TF DID MOMO GET KIDNAPPED

RATING: 9+/10, I absolutely fucking loved it, BUT:

- they really did my boy Nikaidou dirty, he seemed like a caricature of himself :(

- it took me 5 business days to finish it (ADHD? don't know her)

- overall, WATCH IT

[katal0gue]

2 9 23 24

2 favorite book - right now honestly chamber of secrets 🐍 📖 🗡🩸 I think sorcerors stone sets up Harry as a character very well but chamber of secrets is where we see the ugly side of wizard society, not just voldemort as a lone-acting antagonist but the whole Slytherin pureblood ideology. There's a lot of specifically medieval romance imagery in this book in particular, like hp as a whole draws from a hodgepodge of fantasy traditions but I think cos is the most traditional medieval chivalry rescuing a damsel type deal and I just think it's interesting. Blood motif. Big snake.

9 favorite professor

Hagrid :)

23 thoughts on snape

I feel like I feel the normal way about Snape and everyone else's feelings about him are reactions to hypothetical other feelings but the one analysis I've seen that IA with is that HPs biggest flaw is that the aesthetic of "evil" is very inconsistent like some cues would point you to think that evil in this story means polished, waspy, wealthy Malfoy types and the racism allegory would suggest that and then Snape and other characters are described as like hook nosed or fat or whatever and that's tied to their evil and its like dude wtf! But also Snape like was a "half blood" himself and like if you think he got off too easy in the narrative ok but I don't think the moral of harry potter in anyone's eyes is "Snape is good and it owned when he called the main characters mom a slur"

24 thoughts on Dumbledore

He's gay. Like those are most of my thoughts he's a character you'd think I'd have opinions on but he's just my douchebag gay grandpa. He's the iconic like wise old wizard trope in my mind fuck Gandalf who isn't even a little bit gay. Haters will say he wasn't gay in canon but he literally has a british accent that's gay as fuck

[alovevigilante]

Mad. I’m mad today. I have this overwhelming feeling to throat punch my former self from 25 years ago and tell her to go and get a degree in psychology so I could have become a person that is more self aware faster, and maybe I could have gone down a different path in life. Instead, I’m mad at my past, and I’m mad at myself for making the ass choices I made to be a performer, and today I made my chocolate chip cookies with agave nectar instead of sugar, and gluten free flour. They turned out like cake cookies. I didn’t want cake. I wanted cookies. And I love sugar and white as hell flour. Yes. But no. I can’t have that, can I? Cause unhealthy and trying to be fit for what? I’m 46, and I shouldn’t give a shit, cause I’m not going to be on the cover of sports illustrated cause, A. Too old, B. Too short, C. Too much ass and stomach and thighs, and D. I’m not a model, I’m an unknown, and I couldn’t even be seen to audition for that shit. And E. My fach isn’t as symmetrical as those girls, cause I saw a BBC documentary that showed there’s an actual mathematical equation to what we as a human race considers beautiful and it has to do with a specific balance of the face in geometric form, that my fach doesn’t fit into! Surprise surprise! Why don’t they check the symmetry of my asshole?! Ok?! Cause the beauty IS in my brown eye that beholds my culo together. Ok?! Yeah! You know what?! I’m gonna find that shit and post it... this isn’t the documentary i saw, but John Cleese hosts this one, so there’s that. It’s on YouTube called, “Pythagoras, how to measure beauty...” and the last time I checked, the Pythagorean theorem isn’t that sexy, ok?! so eh meh feh, and F. For feh again, and G. No. And don’t even get me started about being a playboy model, ok? Cause cellulite and a fat flap over the Netherlands is never in style in that magazine, ok?! So instead of agave nectar and gluten free whatever, I should just expand myself length x width x depth wise cause wtf does it matter anyway when I stay in the house and hide from society cause I’m over it? Why, I ask you, whom ever the hell you are, Why?!

So what do you do, when you are mad at where you are now because in the past you made all kinds of choices that don’t match the you that you are today? And you feel isolated, because the you of today looks back and realizes that the people of your past that you thought were your friends, aren’t. I’ll tell you what you do! You come up with a plan for your future! And you buy a whole bunch of second hand clothes online that you like but you really don’t need, and doesn’t really make you feel better. And you get reminded by your husband in a kind way, that you can’t afford it cause you have no job. And then you look back at all the decisions you made in your past, and the cycle starts all over again.

Love, is nowhere to be found in the former situation. I’m lost. So, I will sit in this energy until I decide that I’ve had enough, and then I’ll choose something better hopefully. And after I do that, I will apologize to my former self cause she’s in here somewhere, for saying I’d like to throat punch her, because she was actually doing the best she could under her current circumstances she was experiencing at the time. And she wanted to act and sing, so we let her do it. And now, I don’t want to do that, but unfortunately that’s what I’m best at. And I’m mad about that.

So, I will eventually go on the treadmill or stretch a lot, and work out my anxiety about the lack of funds, and just be easier on me. I’ll keep you posted on the rest, cause this is where I’m at in my process today.

P.S. like my new gustav Klimt tank? Me too. I liked it for 11 minutes until I realized that I wasn’t able to afford all this ass shopping I’ve been doing... sigh. 🙈🤷‍♀️👍

P.P.S. I’m not bitter, or jealous of all the successful actors and singers and performers out there. They can keep their business of the show. I don’t ever want to cut your assholes in half so they regenerate Into 2 new assholes! No! 1. That’s nasty, and 2. That’s a lot of school I’d have to go through, too much biology, not to mention the fact that dr. Frankenstein’s theories were never realized to date. But if schrödinger's cat is alive in that box after all these years, someone should look into that, although even though it would be crazy if it were still alive, it still wouldn’t have the same biological structure as a worm, or, in our case “said asshole” regenerating itself like a worm into 2 separate but living entities, but it does deserve the research to at least see how and why it’s alive and can do that. But the asshole isn’t a living entity onto itself, because it needs the person to give it the energy to function. It doesn’t have a central nervous system, organs or a brain, but in some cases, they do, cause people embody them, so, you know, I’d at least need my masters to go into all that research, and who the hell has the money?

But listen, all that aside, I only want to write. I don’t even want to perform anymore. Although, I would also like to try my hand at working with (coaching) singers who are either having vocal issues, or stress their voices a lot, cause I’ve been experimenting with on myself to try to condition the body to relax under stressful circumstances with biofeedback while stressing the body under a controlled environment (a treadmill) using the Lisa saunderson technique of singing over the chords and not pushing through or straining the voice during performances. So, if there’s any takers on that technique, give me a ring. Otherwise, I just want to be able to find a career that I will be happy in, and also be able to support my family and my own ass like any other person wants too! Ok?! Ok!!!!

So instead of acting and singing, I’m just going to forget my health altogether and become the most successful pastry chef around and not share my pastry with anyone! And after that, I’m going to become a furniture tester, cause that’s a real job, and no one will have a better gauge on ass comfort, than me! Cause I sit home all day, mad, writing this shit! Ok?! Yeah! So there!

P.P. P..S. Yeah!

P.P.P.P.S. I just tried the cake cookies... not bad after all... 🙈🤷‍♀️🤣

[unohanadaydreams]

Chad as a dad. *slams fist on a table* CHAD AS A D A D

Pls anon my drinks are on that table and I’m THIRSTY!!! But yes 🥺 Chad as dad.

Features: Wholesome Chad Dad, baby advice group chat, Chad as a dad.

SADO CHAD YASUTORA:

[[MORE]]

The first time he holds his child in his arms, he cries. He stares down at his cooing baby, fat tears running down his cheeks. There’s a tender smile on his face that trembles as the minutes pass. Chad has never held something so small and precious. His hands protect his child for the first time.

He just wants to get it right. His childhood was one he doesn’t enjoy looking back on. Even his high school years were stained with such horrors. He only realized years after how thoroughly the numerous supernatural wars has affected him. What father could stand to think their child would follow in his foot steps? Chad never thought of domestic life and legacies when living with his fists up. But now he worries constantly.

Despite his worries, a family of his own—a child of his own—feels like a dream and he floats through it gladly. Fatherhood suits him. His hands nurture his child and he wonders how they ever were committed to violence.

Chad over prepares. He buys too many baby advice books. He over packs for play dates and baby sitters. He asks every friend their opinion on the best way to handle this or that. It gets to the point where Chad has a group chat dedicated to talking about his kid.

Chad: There’s a bully at the preschool.

Orihime: Kill them with kindness! I can bake something for you :3

Uryu: Gift them Kon; one night with a haunted doll should scare them straight.

Ichigo: DON’T give Kon to a kid!!! Uryu wtf. We need to find a ghost of some kid so it’s not a adult pervert scaring them.

Uryu: I see. An even playing field.

Orihime: Oh!! We can put cookies IN the doll!

Tatsuki: Just talk to their parents???? Really, guys???!!!!

Chad struggles to speak to his baby at first. He’s not used to chatting—filling silence. But it’s important for his baby’s development, so he pushes through. Reading books and pointing out what he sees around him really opens the door to having little conversations with his curious baby.

He’s all about activities. When he was a kid, there was no money or structure for clubs and classes. He takes his kid to anything and everything to find what they most enjoy. From baking to coding, from ballet to digging for fossils, Chad will give his child ALL the choices. He’s also making up for his child hood a bit.

Chad does teach his kid about the Soul Society but it’s a sparse and objective story that focuses more on the reality that they might inherit his plentiful reiatsu and some form of ability. The chappy filled educational book on hollows and their dangers from Rukia is well used. Although some of the most egregious shinigami propaganda is covered up.

He’s a laid back father when it comes to his children confiding in him. He was no prize as a child—there’s little room to judge in his mind. He wants his kid to feel comfortable telling him anything and knowing that he only wants the best for them. Even thought topics like fighting hollows make him want to take a shot of gin right then and there.

He absolutely teaches his kid Spanish, alongside Japanese. growing up and makes it a point to take them to visit his abuelo’s grave in Mexico. Giving his child the memory of his parents and grandfather and the culture they taught him is important to him.

[joshuahyslop]

BOOKS

The last 10 books I’ve read:

1. The One-Straw Revolution - Masanobu Fukuoka What a great little green book. If you like Wendell Berry’s essays on eco-friendly farming or community living you will probably like this book. Berry even wrote the introduction. It’s basically a book about a “new” approach to farming, one where the impact on the land is as minimal as possible, which means not even tilling the soil. If that sounds boring, you’d be right but the book is actually about so much more. Starting with farming, Fukuoka challenges the way we live, the society we’ve structured around ourselves, our willingness to believe just about anything and our ignorance when it comes to the damage our demand for instant gratification causes. As M.C. Taylor (Hiss Golden Messenger) said when he recommended this book to me, “It’s a book on farming that’s secretly about Zen.” 

2. Trick Mirror - Jia Tolentino I fully judged a book by its cover on this one. I liked the design so I thought I’d give it a read. I didn’t know anything about it other than what my wife told me which was, “Not all the essays are equally interesting”. She was right. The ones that I enjoyed I enjoyed quite a bit. But it felt like the author must have added a few essays to the book to try and fill it out. Most notably the essays about her time as a reality TV star and one about her attitude and hesitancy towards marriage were skippable. Other than that it was enjoyable.

3. Fat City - Leonard Gardner Once again, at my favourite local bookstore, I asked for help finding a book. I listed a few books I really liked and they suggested this one. I’m so glad they did. It’s not for everyone. It’s about two boxers in the 1950′s. One who’s all washed up and one who is young and promising and the two paths their lives take. It’s bleak and sad but so very beautifully written. If you’ve read and enjoyed “A Fan’s Notes”, “The Day of the Locust” or “Ask the Dust”, this might be one to check out.

4. A Mother’s Kisses - Bruce Jay Friedman When I was on tour a few years ago I started watching Marc Maron’s show, “Maron” in my hotel rooms after the shows. I’d been listening to his podcast “WTF” for a while. I don’t particularly love his stuff, but he’s a great interviewer and is also quite well read. In his show he ends up trying to get a job at a used bookstore and the owner quizzes him about books. He mentions Bruce Jay Friedman with a handful of other authors that I’ve known and enjoyed. I’d never heard of Friedman and I asked around the local used bookstores. Neither had they. This is an enjoyable and very funny book, but it’s not amazing and the borderline incestuous relationship the son has with his mother is more than enough to make you uncomfortable throughout the book. I read it in a day or two and it’s not one that I’d go out of my way to read again.

5. How We Became Human - Joy Harjo Another book recommended to me by MC Taylor. I’d named a few of my favourite poets and asked him if he had any poetry suggestions and he came back with Joy Harjo. The poems that struck me struck deep. The ones that didn’t, didn’t. But that’s poetry. Re-reading is recommended. What may seem insignificant the first time might be exactly what you need in another chapter of your life. You never know. Our outlooks change regularly. I really enjoyed a lot of this book of poems and I’m thankful for the recommendation.

6. Tortilla Flat - John Steinbeck There’s nothing like a good ole Steinbeck book. I’ve said this before, but I often feel hesitant to read his stuff until I’ve finished reading one of his books. Then there’s a palpable feeling of, “My god... what an amazing book! I should read more of his stuff”. I’m not sure why there’s the hesitancy. I guess it’s often pretty slow moving stuff and can feel pretty dry, but the characters are so well developed and the scenery is so well crafted it feels like you know these people and these places. He’s a tremendous writer and it can be intimidating at times. The only issue I had with this book is that the characters speak in archaic english (thee, thou, etc) and that can throw you off. I think it’s a couple of pages before the first character speaks and the book is set in a little town near Monterey, CA so there’s very little to indicate this type of language. Other than that it’s another solid Steinbeck.

7. The Sirens of Titan - Kurt Vonnegut I picked this book up from my favourite local bookstore. Ever since discovering that I’d read more Vonnegut than I’d thought I had I’ve been keeping an eye out for his books. There are way more than I’d thought! I’d never even heard of this one. It’s highly underrated. I really enjoyed it. It reminded me a bit of the Greek story of Oedipus. It’s great but it’s super sad. Another classic Vonnegut. If you’ve never read it but you like his stuff - check it out.

8. Hard Rain Falling - Don Carpenter Yet another recommendation from my local bookstore. This one was actually suggested to me at the same time as Fat City but I didn’t get it until I’d finished that one and was hungry for more. This book blew me away. It is very dark and very gritty and definitely not for everyone, but it’s so incredibly well written. The characters aren’t as hopeless as they’d like you to think they are or as life would have them believe but things certainly feel hopeless in some parts of the book. The other reason I was so impressed was the description of the homosexual relationship between two of the characters. This book came out in the mid 1960′s. I can’t imagine the ignorance and hatred gay people put up with today, never mind 60 years ago. When two heterosexual characters are reunited in jail and become roommates they begin to fall in love. What transpires is beautiful and tragic and holds a mirror up to society’s understanding of sexuality then and now. Again, it’s not a happy book but it’s worth the sadness.

9. Old Monarch - Courtney Marie Andrews A wonderful (first?) book of poems by a fantastic musician. Not much else to say other than, if you like poetry, go buy this book.

10. Jesus’ Son - Denis Johnson And, again, another recommendation from my pals at the local bookstore. This one is a collection of short stories that are all vaguely linked. You can read it chronologically as though it’s one cohesive story or you can read them out of order and it still works. They made a movie out of it in the late 90′s starring Billy Crudup but after watching the trailer it looks skippable to me. The book was an enjoyable and quick read but it’s not one I’d say you can’t miss.

more soon, -joshua

[chiripepe]

My new mind boyfriend is like... A socialist daddy and like he became disillusioned by society so he went to become a mountain douchebag and has a dog and shit?? And looks like a mess just bearded't, knit yarn sweaters, belly, lil bit of bo, man stank, massive beard, graying from frustration, FAT COCK, *whisper* uncircumcised. He already came down from the blind idealism and is now able to accept other people and like we meet in the Target breakfast cereal isle where I'm picking up my steel cut oats that I can I only get from there. I notice he's staring cuz its obvious even tho my glasses are broken and I'm half blind. I check him out and I'm like wtf look at this fucking ANIMAL with his dirty knit sweater but then I notice the bulge...

Part 2 coming soon subscribe to my patreon.

[yakumtsaki]

I taste just like ice cream, bitch I am so icy, heart cold like an ice queen, that's why they don't like me 🎵

-What the hell was that.

Traditionally I start Union updates with semi-relevant song lyrics.

-Why did you start an update at all.

Because it’s time, Shajar! I took a holy oath in my 2020 simming goals post to update Unions once a month, and I’m already a month late.

-But nothing interesting is happening. 

That’s never stopped me before. Now listen to Rico Nasty, cry some more about Sophie blowing you off, and shut up.

-Ugh please, I couldn’t be more over Sonia if I tried. I hardly ever texted her links to wedding pinterest boards and quizzes to determine if our parenting styles are compatible. 

Did she ever reply? 

-She did once and said ‘who dis’. Of course the letters unscrambled spell out ‘do wish’, meaning she did wish me to keep messaging her. I just don’t know where it all went wrong. 

-Hey there, 17 year old girl, maybe you’ve had enough neat whiskey for the night? We’re actually running out of bottles. 

-Beat it, ponytail, I need to dull my pain. I’ve just been stabbed right in the gut by the love of my life. Just like my style idol and general role model, space opera fascist Kylo Ren.

Shaj I really hate seeing you like this, and not just because the red neon light is super unflattering on your complexion.

-You can fuck right off too, I was perfectly happy with my dads who hate me and my imbecile sister and my brother who might as well not exist, noogie-ing people all day AND night long, but you had to be all ‘OMG IT’S SOPHIE MIGUEL SHAJAR GO TALK TO HER’. Life-ruining-moron. 

But I was totally right about you two hitting it off, I mean look how sad you are now that she dumped- yea never mind, that’s not a good argument.

-Look what I can do even though I’ve had 46 whiskeys!! How you like me now, Sophie???

-You’re paying for all these broken glasses, I’m going to need your name and a credit card.

-Yes, fair enough, my name is Cyneswith Union-

-I LOOK GOOD ENOUGH TO EAT

Yea, you really should eat something to soak up all the alcohol. And not to kick you when you’re down, but you should also disregard all those cliches about ~a smile being the most beautiful thing you can wear~ because MAN. Watch out Joaquin, there’s a new Joker on the prowl. 

-So.. 20 lobsters thermidor and our most expensive appetizers?

-Aha.

-Would you mind settling your bill now?

-Of course not! My name is Cyneswith Union and this is the credit card my parents got me when I was 6 because we’re super duper best friends! I love my parents! They don’t care about their other daughter at all, even when their other daughter is going through a really hard time because she got the emotional equivalent of a lightsaber wound in the gut. You know what, let me also get 20 bottles of your most overpriced champagne to go with the lobsters.

Feeling better?

-Well it’s hard to feel bad when you’re spending your parents’ money recklessly and with malice aforethought.

It sure is. Alright well, the sun is coming up, maybe we should head home.

-What’s the rush? What is going to happen if I don’t go home, my parents will get worried? LOL

God your life sucks. Ok let’s hit a couple more places.

-Greetings. Welcome to our establishment. I am a human employee from this planet.

Great, nice to meet you.

-I just want there to be no doubt that I am indeed an earthling, born and raised under the earth’s exosphere and not above it.

Leave us alone.

-And I’m the resident community lot sim with that one face template you hate! There must be one of us on every lot you visit!

-And I am here in my revealing outfit to use the dance sphere and make everyone uncomfortable!

You’re actually pretty, I need to keep you in mind for after Don Oates takes a wrecking ball to our genetics, but yea, let’s bounce, Shajar.

Time to visit the happiest place on earth, Deh'Javu Modern Art Museum, home to my favorite piece of art in any medium, The Toilet of Fire. Shove that Fountain up your ass, Duchamp. How we feeling, Shaj?

-This trash can reminds of Sophie :( She used to go around town throwing money she stole from charities in trash cans and then send them riddles for where to find them :(

Enough with Sophie, we’ll find you someone better! Like..

..your aunt! Get the hell out of here Brit Brit, you’re taking up townie space. 

-I won’t be long, Gunther’s amazing close-up portrait of my hair was rejected by the museum so I’m here to set this shithole on fire. 

In other words Gunther just painted a canvas black and called it a day?

-His art doesn’t cater to plebs. Yes, offense.

Our old friend Ugly Teen Townie is here so finally we can have some fun. Shajar had gone almost 12 hours(!) without noogieing someone and I was starting to worry for her health.

-Yes, yes, I’m starting to feel like myself again..

Good for you, Shaj!

-Hope you’ve made peace with your God, Ugly Teen Townie, this water balloon is filled with horse feces! 

-WHERE DID YOU EVEN GET HORSE SHIT

-I ordered it from some guy named Leod McGreggor.

-How about a another joke, MuRRAY?

-What?!

-Now you say, ‘no, I think we’ve had enough of your jokes’. Say it!

-No, I think we’ve had enough of your jokes.

-What do you get when you cross a mentally-ill loner with a society that abandons him and treats him like trash? Now you say ‘call the police, Gene!’

-Call the police, Gene!

-I'll tell you what you get..

-YOU GET WHAT YOU FUCKING DESERVE. HAHA oh man! Good stuff. 

Alright I’m starting to feel bad for Ugly Teen Townie, first he had to come to all the toddler birthday parties during the Victoria/Komei era and now this, he has suffered enough at this family’s hands. Time to go home, Shaj.

-Not so fast!

Wow, the Countess and Mrs. Crumplebottom on the same lot, top 10 anime crossovers.

-I have been sent here by the Limp Dick Vamps United organization to recruit Shajar Union.

Ugh you people are still around? Haven’t heard of you losers since the Count wouldn’t let Victoria bang him, which I’m still annoyed about. 

-Indeed we are, and it’s clear Shajar is ready to join us, dedicating her life to evil deeds without romantic distractions. I have no idea what Crumplebottom is doing here.

-I’m here to recruit Shajar to my own organization, Bitter Sims Worldwide Alliance. We’re always on the lookout for new members who want to spread their misery to their fellow Sim. 

It sounds like it’d be more effective if you guys just merged your organizations.

-I will NEVER merge my organization with someone who displays her bosom like a common whore. 

-Eat a dick, Crumplebottom!

-MAKE ME, FANGTOOTH

-Alright here I am, what the fuck do you want?

-Shajar, it is a pleasure to meet you! Ardent admirer of your work.

-What work, freakshow?

-Torturing everyone around you, what else!

-What? I don’t torture people around me, if anything they torture me.

-Why don’t you talk to me about it?

-I’d rather not, you look like a bejeweled snowman.

-Look deep into my eyes, Shajar..

-And now look deep into my razor sharp teeth..

-Ugh fine, let’s talk. 

-Is that Victoria and Komei’s teen granddaughter hanging out with a vampire?

Yes it is Kennedy, keep it moving.

-God, wtf is wrong with this family. 

Nothing now that you’ve been removed from our social circle, go away! Just kidding, you’re an icon and I’m marrying you in at some point. 

-Hard pass. 

Your loss, hombre. 

-It definitely isn’t.

-If I had known your turn on was vampires I would had set you two up!

STOP SETTING UP TEENS WITH ADULTS, LAKSHMI. And Shajar’s turn ons isn’t vampires, it’s fitness/fatness. Body positive queen. 

-Well, Shajar, you alphabetically listing all the people who have wronged you while I was trying to kill Crumplebottom telepathically has made for a very productive conversation. We’ll be in touch. 

-Thanks, Countess, it’s been real.

Shajar!!! Who cares about Sophie when you might bag a hot, rich vamp??

-Meh.

I’m gonna need you to be more excited about this prospect because a vampire spouse might just be enough of a draw to beat the comedic factor of fucking Don Oates turning us into an unintentional uglacy and I’m doing whatever I can to avoid my fate.

Ugh.

UGH

UGHHHHHHH

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOO VICTORIA

-GET FUCKED, BROKEN FACED WEIRDO

God I miss you Vic 💔

-Donnie-bear, not to be not-nice, but mopping your pee off my front lawn is not exactly what I pictured doing during this date.

This guy won’t even mop up his own piss, what a catch.

Wow, manipulative much?? You are a piss piece of work, Donaldo.

-Don’t think we forgot about you, you 10-nice-point disgrace!

-VICTOR NO

-GET THAT MOP READY

-Finally, some peace and quiet.. Just me, alone with my broken heart, pondering my hopeless, loveless future..

-💗💗💗OMG SIS THERE YOU ARE. DONNIE AND I MADE OUT!!! 💗💗💗 But then grandma’s ghost scared him into soiling himself. 

-Good for grandma, hopefully next time she gives him a stroke. Now shut up and let’s eat in silence while I ponder my hopeless, loveless future.

-Okie dokie! 💗💗💗

-Um, I think mine has vomit in it.

-Yea I did that, but it’s just whiskey and lobster, if anything it increased in value. 

-Awww thanks sis! 💗💗💗

-Stop patronizing me, you little bitch. God I want to poke your eye out with this chopstick so badly.

-I love you too Shaj! 💗💗💗

And I hate both of you. Where’s your brother, I haven’t paid attention to him in 3 days. 

-He went upstairs, I think he’s pusshurt we forgot his birthday LOL

IT’S HIS BIRTHDAY????

-Don’t feel bad, I forgot it too! 💗💗💗

GODDAMMIT. WULF! WULF WHERE ARE YOU

-I’m here, I just grew up and dare I say it could not have gone better! 

Really?? Finally some good news! Let me look upon you-

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

WULF WHAT THE FUCK

-I was Mozart musical genius boy but now I’m a sk8ter boi! Character development!

Ok this is the most iconic birthday look since Gunther grew up in the pirate costume, we’re obviously keeping it. 

-Great! And as if the fact I’m a Wyatt face template with 0 Jojo genes wasn’t enough to make me unelectable, I also rolled family! :D I’m doing everything I can to ensure I live that sweet motherlode spare life! 

Honestly you should had picked another outfit cause now that you’re dressed like this I unironically want you to win. Hoisted with your own petard.

[szopenhauer]

if you have any pets, were they adopted from the humane society? my (now ex) friend had a stray give birth on her yard and she gave away all the puppies besides the one she kept, I chose the most scared and fat one lol

what kind of cheese is your favorite, or no cheese at all? Gouda

do you like home design, like picking out paint colors and furniture? love it <3

have you seen any of the old james bond movies? I hate James Bond movies, tried few and they were so lame

have you ever been in a hot air balloon? and if not, would you ever want to go in one? I’d like to try, maybe someday

do your parents buy you something on a daily basis? food 

is anyone else in the room with you right now? not rn

do you collect anything? shitload of stuff

do you have a pool in your back yard? no and don’t want to own one

do you watch youtube videos often? how often is often?

do you wear mascara? no, I don’t see the point of mascara tbh

do your parents fight?  sigh...

have you ever watched a movie that’s in a completely different language, so you had to read sub-titles? plenty

do people with yellow teeth disgust you? mine are yellow, it’s hard to keep them well having GERD :(

do you wear rings? at times

would you like to have a universal remote, like in the movie, click? hmm...

do you get any magazines in the mail? my mom does

what was the last picture you uploaded to your facebook? snapchat one with peach filter

what’s something that you do that you know hurts people close to you? live?...

what was the last board game that you played? either Scrabble or Hollywood

do you get bloated at all after you eat? I have cascade stomach, GERD and IBS so...

when is your birthday - in winter, spring, summer, or fall? winter :(

you must pick (no, “neither” bullshit please): dying by being run over by a train or being thrown from the top of the eiffel tower? tower

who’s the most overrated celebrity of them all (yes, i know they’re all overrated - but pick one)? Beyonce

what do you wear the most - sneakers, flats, heels, boots, or do you just go barefoot? slippers XD

what’s better - short sleeve tops or tanks? short sleeve

black, blue, or red ink? blue

do you sometimes splurge on expensive, sexy lingerie? my most expensive lingerie (which is sporty) costed less than 20 PLN

what’s your favorite food group? grains?

don’t you just love sushi? never tried and don’t wanna, gross

if you walked in on your husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend/important significant other cheating on you - how would you react? I have several scenarios in my head 

how old were you when you lost your virginity? what even is virginity? you can have sex without losing it anyway

what annoys you the most about modern technology? hard to tell

do you prefer your chicks with long hair, short hair, or somewhere in between? I always went for girls with no longer than shoulder length yet not shorter than mine but now I date someone with very long hair

do you turn around when someone yells “hey!!!” even if you’re not sure if they’re referring to you or someone else? might

have you ever had that oh-so-embarrassing moment when you think some hot guy/girl is waving at you and/or flirting with you, so you wave back, only to realize they were directing it at the person behind you? they weren’t hot

who was the last person to come back into your life? my gf

is there anyone at your house outside of your family? in the garden

who was the last person you had a conversation with in person? my dad

what was the last piece of jewelry that you purchased? for myself or someone else?

how old are each of your siblings? 30+

how many different conversations do you have going right now? 0

do you think it’s weird to wear socks to sleep? it’s not, unless you sleep naked

have you ever gone swimming in a lake? yup

do you usually buy a new bathing suit every summer? I didn’t buy any swimsuit for ages, don’t own even one

what sucks most about the computer you end up using the most? what doesn’t suck about it, ugh!

what’s something you want to say to someone at the moment? I’m not sure

will you have sexual intercourse within the next two weeks? I won’t

has a boyfriend/​​girlfriend ever put alcohol/drugs before you? nah

do you like when people call you things like “baby”, “sweetie”, “hun”, etc? certain pet names are fine

will this friday be a good one? it’s not...

what’s wrong with you right now? everything?

have you been a happy, angry, or sad person lately? angry and sad

are you wasting your time on someone? hope not 

when’s the last time you cried yourself to sleep? days ago

have you ever been in a perfect relationship? relationships aren’t perfect because no one is perfect and that’s ok

when was the last time you completely broke down? last week

honestly, have you ever kissed anyone with a name that starts with j? nope

are you nice to the people you dislike? if I have to, I prefer to avoid them 

are you and the last person you kissed in a relationship? we are

your ex shows up randomly at your house, what do you say? no comment

would you rather date someone who is extremely protective or not protective at all? why do we have to choose extremes?

does sex mean love? to me

have you ever fallen asleep on someone? as a baby

have you ever slept in the same bed as your friend? more than once

plans for tomorrow? nothing have you ever ridden a skateboard? tried the main thing you can’t leave your house without? clothes, I won’t leave naked does anyone know your password besides you? just me what are you listening to? Melanie Martinez when was the last time you changed in front of someone? this month what’s the closest black thing to you? what I’m wearing, computer mouse and keyboard too, my cellphone next to me is also black what were you doing at 8:00 am? fallen asleep again are you happier single or in a relationship? we’ll see if you had to get a piercing, what do you get? normal earrings in lobes you can get a puppy or a new car. which do you choose? car, I have a dog and don’t want another at least soon have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex? my father is my bestie did you get a full 8 hours of sleep last night? it seems like it have you ever been arrested? noooo

what is a difference between the last two people you hugged? one is a female and one is a male  where is the next place you will go? for a walk - forest probably why did you kiss the last person you kissed? we’re dating

do you say sexy a lot? I don’t recall using that word  when did you last throw up? years ago? do you like to have long hair or short hair? short what is your favorite place you have traveled? Ełk? where do you keep your money? that’s personal what was the weather like today? warm do you want to cut your hair? meh what is your favorite place to shop? thrift? are you over the age of 25? I am are you going to have a good night? hopefully when was the last time you did the dishes? I just washed the knife

do you and your friends trade/borrow clothes, shoes, jewelry, etc.? no way

is your birthday ever on a holiday? which one? it was always on free from school time (ferie zimowe) and my friends been basically always sick so they couldn’t come 

are you friends with your neighbors? I say “goodmorning” to part of them and that’s all

do you think its weird when people talk to their pets like they’re people? not that I have whole conversations with mine but I happen to speak to them when I want to

do you like uggs? they’re great for winter slippers :3

describe what you typically wear on a hot summer day: T-shirt, sweatpants/leggings/pajama pants, panties/undies, socks, slippers or slip on shoes

what about a cold winter day? underwear, tights (when it’s very cold - under leggings), leggings (unless I’m home then sweatpants/pajama pants), socks, boots (if not slippers of course), long sleeves shirt, tunic or oversized t-shirt, sweater, vest, jacket, scarf, hat, fingerless gloves

do you like coffee? ewww, disgusting

do you like flip flops? same

do you like rain? especially it’s sound at night

do you like horses? they’re fine

what is the deepest pool you have jumped into? where? I don’t jump into pools or lakes/rivers

does it annoy you when people open your mail or text messages? people don’t do that :o

what magazine do you buy the new issue of each month? Moje mieszkanie

what is your favorite farm animal? chicken

have you ever driven a golf cart? I’m against golf so...

if a genie gave you 1 wish, what would it be? health, for all, forever

what is something that you shouldn’t like but do anyways? ask God

is there something you love dearly but knew you’d be made fun of for it? I guess

who is someone you always want to be happy, even if you aren’t happy alongside them? those close to me

does it take you a long time to get over someone you liked? it’s complicated

have you ever gone a week or more not thinking of your boyfriend/girlfriend that much? does it sadden you, or make you happy you don’t completely depend on a person? I didn’t go whole week without thinking about them at least once wtf 

is there someone who ruined your life? do you forgive this person? most of those ppl didn’t apologise, most of them don’t know or care, most of them are not part of my life

have you ever questioned your sexuality? when was this? how did it end? I thought I must call myself bi because I dated a guy even tho I wasn’t really into them but I realized that even having sex doesn’t mean I’m not asexual - trying things make you more sure of smth instead of changing who you are       

have you ever felt suicidal? constantly

do you know anyone who has had a miscarriage? or someone who can’t have kids at all? both are more common than you think

what is something you wish would have ended differently (ex. friendship or relationship)? what if I wanted some things to never end? does that count?

type the alphabet and stop at the letter of the last person you kissed: ABCDEFGHIJKLM eventually ABCDEFG (short version of the first name) eventually ABCD (surname) how was your day overall? it’s going so fast because I can’t sit down for long, parents call me every single minute to help them have you kissed someone more than 20 times? I didn’t count but who knows

if you married the last person you texted, what would your last name be? won’t tell you :P how often do you hold back what you want to say? sigh, it’s complicated it’s 2 in the morning and you get a text message, who is it most likely? my gf ever cried while you were on the phone with someone? not many times but still how do you know the last male you texted? he’s my parent do you think the last person you kissed cares for you? they say and try to show that they do  do you laugh a lot? as for such broken person it’s A LOT  are you good at giving directions? I’m pretty bad at that what does your mom call you? by one of the versions of my name duh are you afraid of roller coasters? I’m afraid I’d puke  where do you sing the most, in the car, the shower or everywhere? in front of the computer and when I’m home alone which happens very rarely are you wearing any make up right now? I don’t even own any makeup are you nice to everyone? pfft is it hard for you to be happy for someone else? oh well...

do you like bread crust or do you prefer it cut off? depends, usually eat it tho

what is the worst/hardest drug you’ve been offered, but declined to partake in? nothing hard 

do you think you could ever have an abortion if you unexpectedly turned up pregnant? I don’t want to think about it

is there a color shirt you’d never wear? tie dye or some tiny pattern that makes my head spin 

is there a situation where you caved into peer pressure and regretted it? what I don’t regret?...

would you ever bleach your hair platinum blonde? for a movie role

do you like the band mgmt?  I know couple of songs by them

do you like vanilla candles? I’m not into candles