#where all of his family members and friends

[prael]

Day 6: Revenge Or Fate

IOI/Gugudan Sejeong x male reader smut

words: 5,611 12 Days of Praelmas Masterlist

"What's that look for?" you ask with all the whimsy you can muster. "I only said that I bought your favourite popcorn. Why are you staring at me as if I just got down on one knee and proposed?"

"You did say you'd marry me someday," Sejeong jokes. Then she does that thing she always does when she's nervous—tugging at the lobe of her ear.

You roll your eyes. "Yeah. I mean when we are both in our sixties. When you have become the crazy cat lady and I the bachelor with a penchant for wine and cigarettes. It's not even close to that time yet."

"Why would you be smoking?" Sejeong wrinkles her nose. She knows you can't stand the smell.

"Because I'll be an ageing bachelor, duh," you answer with a dismissive wave of a hand as you sit by her on the couch. She's got her legs curled up against her chest, the way she always does when it's cold outside. You'd know—she's been sitting like that on your couch every winter since the beginning of time.

She lets out the softest of laughs before it quickly dissipates into silence. She's staring across the room, but not really looking at anything. Her face is painted in melancholy. You know her well enough to know that look, and you hate it. Hate everything it represents. You sigh. The first time you saw her like this was back as teenagers, after the dog she grew up with had been hit by a car. It still hurts your chest.

"You've got that look again," you tell her. "Like there's a million and one things in your mind and none of them particularly good."

"I'm okay. Just tired." Sejeong's smile doesn't quite convince you.

"I wasn't going to say anything. I thought you'd tell me if you wanted me to know, but it's been months since you asked me to come over on a Friday night, so something has happened. I haven't seen this much annoyance behind your eyes since the end of Game Of Thrones. What is it?"

"I'm just feeling overwhelmed, that's all. I wish you weren't so observant."

"You should be used to it by now."

Sejeong flashes a half-hearted smile and takes hold of your hand as she used to do when you were kids. You feel guilty for the way your stomach flutters.

"I guess we have always known each other better than anyone else," she admits, her hand still clasped around yours. It's warm and familiar. You feel the urge to push away, but how can you? It would give far too much away. She has always had this effect on you—you could never distance yourself from her warmth. "He's an asshole."

"You don't need to tell me twice," you chuckle. Then: "Tell me what happened."

"I think he might be cheating."

The air escapes from you at once. The way Sejeong said it is so casual, almost as if she'd resigned herself to this fate a long time ago. And here you are, trying your best to keep your anger under control, like always. But not for her sake—rather, for yours. You know where your feelings belong, and they have no place in the situation at hand. Not today, and definitely not ever. You take a deep breath and look her square in the eye.

"What did he do?"

"I shouldn't have mentioned it," she laughs nervously. She doesn't want to put any more weight on your shoulders than she already has, because that's who she is, you suppose. But how can she expect you to ignore it when she looks like a sad dog staring into the rain on someone's front porch?

"We're best friends. I want to hear everything," you insist.

"He's been acting differently lately." Sejeong pauses. "Distant. Like there's something he isn't telling me."

"Do you think there might be?" you ask carefully.

"It's always something with work. Or a friend that really needs him. Or a family member or—fuck. I don't know."

"I'm sorry."

Sejeong sighs and runs a hand through her hair. There are unshed tears in her eyes. This bastard is making her cry. You want to smash something, preferably his head.

"I don't wanna bother you with this shit," she whispers. She sounds exhausted.

"Don't say that," you retort softly, squeezing her hand in yours. It's clammy. "Don't ever say that again."

She gives a curt nod.

"God knows I've told you enough about my romantic misadventures over the years," you joke. Your chest tightens when Sejeong lets out the tiniest of laughs. Maybe you can still make this right, whatever this is. "Misery loves company."

"You know," she begins, pausing to look at you properly. There is something unreadable in her gaze, something that you've never seen before. It makes you hold your breath in anticipation of whatever is to come. "If there's one person I could choose to be miserable with, it would be you."

For a brief second, you forget that time exists.

"Well, I'm very honoured," you reply eventually. There's another pause where you ponder what to say next. Then, simply, because that seems like the easiest answer: "Do you want me to go beat him up?"

Sejeong laughs and punches you in the arm.

"I thought you were a pacifist?"

"Yeah, but exceptions must be made sometimes."

She raises an eyebrow at you. You can't tell what she's thinking. "For me?"

"Yes."

It feels like standing on a cliff. You want nothing more than to jump, to feel freefall in your whole body. The only problem is that you'll most certainly die. The ground below is made of jagged rocks and bad ideas. Yet, here you stand, willing to do anything in the world for the beautiful girl next to you. Even if it means lying broken beyond repair.

Sejeong breaks your trance when she explains, "There's this girl he works with. We had dinner together with some people from their office two weeks ago, and... I don't know. They just seemed off. She kept looking at him. You know that look? The one where they linger on someone just a bit too long."

"So that's what gave it away?"

"Well, that and the rumour. They had a thing before he met me. It's over now, or it was." A single tear rolls down her cheek. She wipes it away quickly, seemingly irritated at herself. You frown. Sejeong has no reason to be ashamed of being hurt. She should be allowed to shed tears, even buckets full if necessary. You wouldn't judge. "At least that's what he said. He promised me it was over. But... God."

You reach forward to wipe the tears from her cheeks. Her lips tremble, so you quickly move your eyes back up. Staring at her lips is dangerous territory.

"You don't deserve this shit," you say resolutely.

Sejeong chuckles sarcastically. "Then why do I keep ending up here?"

That question stings. Not because it's directed at you—it isn't—but rather because you know the answer. Sejeong has been in this kind of position too many times to count. She attracts guys like honey does flies; every single time, with no exceptions. Only the worst seem to make it past the rest. Sejeong gets caught in their deceitful net time and time again, only to inevitably break her heart after months and months of manipulation disguised as devotion.

"Want my honest answer?"

"Yes."

"I think it's because you're the sort of person that believes the best in everyone. And that is a beautiful trait. I love that you do that. I really do. But sometimes..." you trail off, not quite sure how to continue without sounding accusatory.

"Sometimes I get screwed over," Sejeong finishes. You nod in response. "You're right. I guess it's my fault for trusting too easily."

"No," you shake your head. "It's not your fault. That part is absolutely wonderful. It's just..." You're suddenly hesitant. What if Sejeong takes this the wrong way and shuts you out?

"What?" she probes.

"Have you ever heard the expression 'you can't see the tree for the woods'?"

"Sounds stupid."

"It means you can't see what's right in front of your nose," you explain.

Sejeong stares at you for a long time. You think she understands, but it's impossible to know. It would probably be better that way—if she understood and did nothing about it. You aren't supposed to feel this way about her. How many times haven't you imagined what it would be like if things were different? If circumstances were perfect, if her current guy hadn't appeared out of anywhere and swept her off her feet before you'd even realised what was happening.

But that's just your luck.

"Thank you," Sejeong whispers. "Can we, um, watch something? I don't wanna think about this right now."

You let out an awkward cough. "Yeah. Yeah, of course. Do you remember when you forced me to watch Twilight, and I spent the entirety of the movie complaining about how terrible it was?"

"You still watched all of them with me." A tiny grin appears on her face. Thank God.

"That was truly the highest form of torture," you joke. "I hope you brought something better today. Please don't tell me you downloaded another movie about sparkly vampires."

Sejeong punches your arm. "I'll have you know I am extremely cultured nowadays."

"Yeah? Show me then."

A couple of hours pass and everything feels decidedly normal. You rest against the arm of the couch and Sejeong rests against you. You make jokes at the expense of the film as you always do and she laughs that soft, carefree laugh of hers. The credits roll and Sejeong sits up, stretching her limbs like a cat after a nap. You smile at the familiarity of it all. For a moment it doesn't matter what she has—or hasn't—been crying over.

"I'm tired," she says. She blinks slowly as if to prove it to herself. It's quite endearing, actually.

"Yeah?" you ask nonchalantly.

"Will you let me stay here tonight?" Her voice is small, unsure. But why? It's not the first time she has stayed here. This place is practically a second home to her.

"Like you need to ask," you retort lightly as you stand up and look down at her.

She opens her mouth to speak, but that's when her phone rings. When she sees his name flashing across the screen, she visibly freezes. Annoyance seeps into you like acid rain. His nerve—to call at such an hour, and expect her to pick up. Sejeong just watches, almost paralyzed, until eventually, she does pick up.

"Hey," is all she says. The reply is much longer. You can't make out the words he's saying but the tone tells you all you need to know.

"I was going to," Sejeong replies tersely. Silence. Then: "I told you already, I went over to—" Pause. She swallows thickly. "You didn't tell me you were going out." A longer stretch of silence, during which his voice gradually increases in volume. Suddenly Sejeong sits bolt upright. Her eyes grow wide with confusion and disbelief.

"Me!?" She shouts. "He's my best friend! I wouldn't—" Another pause. She takes a deep breath. "No. No, that isn't fair. You can't—"

It sounds like he hangs up. Sejeong doesn't move. Her hands are shaking violently.

"Do I even wanna know?"

"I should go home," she murmurs flatly.

"To him? To the guy who's probably just fucked his co-worker?"

Sejeong turns to glare at you, eyes cold as ice. You immediately regret your words.

"I'm sorry," you quickly amend. "That was uncalled for. It's none of my business. I shouldn't have said that."

"Why?" she asks bluntly. Your heartbeat picks up in a hurry. There's anger in her eyes. Anger that could turn against you so quickly.

"Why what?" you reply defensively.

"Why don't you wanna be with anyone? You've rejected every single person who's tried to get close to you since we were sixteen. There's got to be a reason."

The world grinds to a halt. Time, space, and life itself stop existing for a minute while you consider your options. On the one hand, you could lie; come up with a suitable excuse and maybe she won't push for more. On the other hand, you could simply admit to the truth that's haunted you for years.

You open your mouth. Close it. Fuck.

Sejeong stands up, wading in the silence towards you. You can't help but take a step backwards. In that split second, you're sure she knows—and yet you cannot tell.

"Have you ever loved anyone?" Sejeong demands to know.

Your heartbeat roars in your ears. "I don't understand why you're asking me this," you choke out. A part of you wishes you were back there on the cliff. At least then you could've jumped off of your own accord, with a little dignity left intact.

"I need to know," is all Sejeong says. Her gaze is relentless. You hate it. It makes you want to claw your own skin off—and there are truths under there that you plan to take to the grave.

"Why?"

"Because I need to know if what I'm going to do next is the right thing."

She stands beside you now. On the edge of that cliff, though it's starting to feel more like you're on the roof of your car. Staring up at the stars on some forgotten summer night. The jump seems more like a flight.

"I have," you admit. Somehow it seems easier than to try and fight whatever force is controlling the both of you. It feels strangely liberating.

"But you won't allow yourself to do anything about it." You know her well enough to discern a question from a statement, no matter how carefully she might try to veil them as the latter.

"It's complicated," you say quietly. She's so close to you now that you can hear the hitch in her breath. Why is she pushing this? "Why are you doing this?"

Her eyes flit from yours to your lips, then back again. So quickly. One, two. But you saw it. And your entire body tingles in anticipation. You'll dare move away—not now, not when the leap of faith feels more like a hop.

She doesn't say anything else. One more small step and her body collides with yours. Lips press against lips and suddenly, all thought scatters. Sejeong tangles her fingers through your hair and pulls. A gasp escapes you before you regain control and kiss her properly. It's frantic, rushed. Years of pining bleed out with every touch. You grab her, pull her as close to your body as possible, and lose yourself completely. Something is swelling inside you. A feeling so large and uncontainable that you think your chest is going to explode any second.

It is indescribable.

All of it—the sensation of kissing her, holding her—surpasses description. You're falling from that cliff, but she's holding you, and before you can hit the rocks she's dragging you to the couch and climbing on top of you.

It feels unreal. The entire world disappears as your lips find hers again and again and again. You don't care to question what happens after. This moment is yours, forever branded in your memories, and nothing can take that away from you. Even if it ends here—even if she were to walk away now—it would've been worth it. Completely and irrevocably.

When you finally part to catch your breath, you can't help but stare at her in awe. She's so beautiful. A masterpiece. Your hand moves to her cheek almost automatically. Sejeong lets her head fall against it with a soft sigh.

"Wow," she whispers.

"Yeah," you croak.

"Please don't regret this in the morning." Her voice is so quiet, filled with so much pain, that it breaks your heart. Your own fears are secondary.

"I never could," you breathe. Then you lean in to kiss her again, slower this time, savouring every sensation as if it might be the last. By some miracle she responds eagerly, fingers wrapping around the collar of your shirt as she holds you steady. You have no idea where this leaves the two of you, but you want her closer—now. You reach around and slide your hands under her thighs, pulling gently upwards. She follows your lead, settling against your lap in a way that makes the situation undeniably real.

As you kiss, her hips start moving back and forth. Soft, shallow movements. Little whimpers escape her throat and fall directly into your mouth. Fuck. She moans—actually moans—into the kiss and a violent shiver travels through your whole body. You break away momentarily to look at her face, flushed cheeks and half-lidded eyes staring back at you.

"Do that again," you whisper against her lips.

"Make me," she pants.

The next kiss is searing, open-mouthed, and accompanied by Sejeong grinding her hips against you. Harder now. Unrelenting. Your hands travel up her waist, slipping beneath her blouse to feel warm skin underneath. You feel every tremble of her body when your fingernails drag lightly across her flesh. A gasp—then she leans backwards, with her arms outstretched and clinging behind your neck, to look you dead in the eye as she continues moving her hips against you.

"Sejeong... What are we—"

"Shh."

Your hands snake further up her shirt. Her back arches in response as she grinds down hard, moaning loudly. Your eyes flutter shut briefly to enjoy the sensations—the sounds—coming from her. You force them open once more because you can't miss this show for anything. You push the shirt up and over her chest. Her hands slip from behind your neck momentarily so that you can get the garment over her head. And then she is there before you, bra and sweatpants-clad, panting softly and waiting.

"Sejeong—"

"Fuck me." It is barely more than a whimper, but it rattles the very core of your being.

"What?"

She lunges forward and kisses you forcefully. There are tears in her eyes—tears you didn't notice until now. Her desperation bleeds through.

"Please," she whispers into your mouth, her voice breaking slightly. "Please."

You can't deny her. How could you? You're unfastening the clasp of her bra and your hands are everywhere on her. Pulling her closer, exploring every inch of bare skin you can get your hands on. Her fingers start unbuttoning your shirt—clumsily, but getting the job done. Once open, her nails dig into your bare shoulders, as if testing out whether you're really here, tangible and real. As if you could disappear at any moment and leave her stranded. A loud groan escapes her when your fingers brush against her nipples.

"You're so fucking beautiful," you murmur into her ear. She whines at the words, nails digging deeper into your skin.

The friction between your legs is driving you mad. You've got the burning urge to pick her up and slam her into the nearest wall, but you savour what you have. First, you kiss her neck, then it's a trail down her collarbones. Your teeth nibble playfully at the skin until she moans, begging you to do something. You obey, leaning in to flick your tongue across a nipple before swirling it around the bud. Her fingers fly into your hair and hold you against her breast.

"Holy shit."

Your mouth latches on tighter. Sucking. Biting. The heat pooling between you grows more intense. Eventually, you detach and move on to the next, eliciting more delicious sounds from the girl above you. All those nights spent fantasising about exactly this don't come close to the real experience. You're supporting her, around the waist and the small of her back, while she leans back in your lap, presenting herself to you.

You appreciate every inch of her slender figure. By eye and then by tongue. You draw constellations along her skin, your touch is feather-light. Across her toned stomach to her hips, then right up the side of her body. She throws an arm above her head and giggles lightly as you lick all the way up underneath it. You follow a path to her armpit. Sejeong giggles more when you begin to nibble there too. When you raise your eyes to meet hers she blushes fiercely.

"Weirdo."

"Just appreciating you," you murmur, pressing soft kisses against her shoulder and up to her neck.

"Mm. I like it," she replies hoarsely.

So you spend some time like this. Appreciating her bare body and making her squirm. Kissing, licking, and biting everything that you can possibly reach until her writhing becomes borderline violent. Then she grabs a hold of your jaw, looks you deep in the eyes, and utters the most sinful words you've ever heard her say.

"Enough teasing. I want to ride your cock now."

Every inch of you lights on fire. From your forehead to the tips of your toes, you feel flames lick at your insides. Sejeong climbs off you without another word and starts pushing her sweats from her hips. You watch, spellbound, as she wiggles out of them. Her panties follow suit.

Then she turns to face you. Standing fully nude, absolutely breathtaking in every sense of the word. A goddess. Every bit as perfect as you had imagined. Even your fantasies weren't this good; nowhere near as intoxicating as this moment right now.

"You have ten seconds before I sit on your face instead," she deadpans, you both laugh. At least she hasn't lost her humour.

You unbuckle your belt and shuffle them down as best you can while still seated. Enough that she can reach down and pull your cock free from its confines. Your eyes roll to the back of your skull when she wraps her slim fingers around it. Pumping up and down. You're hard already, unbelievably so, and when she drags her thumb across the head of your dick it actually twitches. You suck in a deep breath, willing yourself to focus.

And then she sits on your lap, sliding along the length of your cock. Fuck. She repeats it a few times. Back and forth, slicking your cock with her wetness.

"I always pictured this," she admits.

"Really?" you croak.

"God yeah, I remember back in college. I must have rubbed one out to you more times than I can count." She smirks at you then—a wicked smirk that makes your entire body shiver. A filthy admission to you and you only. She does it again, drags her wetness along you. How on earth are you supposed to remain composed when she says things like that and does things like this? You wrap an arm around her back and pull her closer, staring at her as if seeing her for the very first time.

"You can't say things like that, I'm gonna—"

She cuts you off with her tongue in your mouth. Kissing you like it's the last thing she'll ever do, and your lips the only form of sustenance she'll ever need. It gives way to her frantic little moan, desperate and unrestrained. For the life of you you can't comprehend what is happening, only react, and fuck if it isn't the most incredible experience you've ever had. Her skin is burning against yours, hungry and yielding to your every touch.

Sejeong shifts slightly and grabs a hold of you properly. Your eyes widen when the tip of your dick brushes against something wet, warm, and soft. The very centre of her. She repositions herself, now holding you carefully against her, and then... slides down the length of your cock, pausing halfway down. The pleasure is so acute that you cannot control the way your back arches off the couch, and neither do you control the profanities that spill out from your lips.

A sinful grin spreads across her face. As her legs are pinned around your waist, you cannot move, but Sejeong certainly can. And boy, does she know how. She starts bouncing herself up and down, riding you so expertly and looking so good doing it. You've thought of this so many times—having sex with your best friend, of all people—but you did not picture it like this.

"This okay?" she murmurs in your ear. You hear the smile in her voice.

You utter the only word you can muster: "Yes."

She laughs airily, placing a kiss on your temple as she continues her rhythm. When she moans—a long, drawn-out moan, half-pained, half-pleasured—and throws her head back, you stare up at her, eyes drinking in the beauty that is in a position so incredibly vulnerable yet completely in control. How you long to capture this moment and keep it somewhere safe forever. She looks down at you now. Her heavy-lidded eyes pin you to your spot as much as the physical manifestation of her pinned against your skin. She traces her fingers down your jaw, your neck, and the top of your chest.

"I wish he could see me now," Sejeong hisses, anguish evident in her voice.

"You look so fucking good."

"He doesn't know what he had," she laughs bitterly. "Fuck him."

"Fuck him," you echo. Sejeong smirks and moves her hips more fluidly. Goddamn. Her tight little cunt feels so perfect clenched around your cock.

She watches your face closely as she keeps riding you. As you keep clutching her hips and help her along, grinding deeper. Groaning when she throws her hips forward faster and faster. Her cunt is so hot and tight. She sucks at the life seeping out of your pulsating cock and squeezes it with her inner muscles in ways that no one has ever done before. Sometimes she pulls completely off you, her breath shuddering as you twitch, only to take you deep inside her again.

Your hands have a mind of their own, sneaking upwards to grip her neck. You give it a gentle squeeze, just enough to get her attention. All the while you're staring intensely into her eyes. They've become glassy, intoxicated, more than just wanting but longing for it. Her voice is hoarse, strained, as she says, "How have I been so stupid? All this time—you're right here, and I never—"

"It doesn't matter. None of that matters."

"You're so—fuck."

Her body trembles and she falls forward onto you. She's gripping your arms, nails sinking into your flesh. Sejeong's breath grows increasingly laboured. After a long string of expletives, she lets her head rest on your shoulder as you snake an arm around her back and support her. Her whole body is rigid, teetering on the edge of an orgasm.

"Never felt this good," she forces the words out amid moans as you buck your hips up into her, picking up the slack as she begins to falter. The rhythm is quick now, urgent, filled with unbridled passion and everything left unspoken for too long.

When Sejeong cums, you feel it all around you—her pussy quivering, leaking her arousal around you, dripping down your thighs and saturating you, almost drowning in the intensity. It makes her moan into the crook of your neck and rock her hips, fucking herself while trying desperately to quiet the sounds of her ecstasy against your body. But that is unthinkable, to silence someone like that, and you tell her so. Whispering the filthiest things in her ear as she throbs around your cock, dragging out the last tremors of pleasure of her orgasm as much as you possibly can. She spills everything out into your shoulder, every word, every whimper. Until at last, you can feel her sagging in your lap, breathing heavily and spent.

"Keep going," she pants, tightening her grip on your arm. "Don't stop."

She throws herself to the side, pulling you with her, and somehow lands flat on her back with your body on top of her. You wince at the sudden shift. But not for long. Because Sejeong opens her legs wide, hooks her calves around your hips, and tells you again not to stop.

You smirk and lean forward, trapping her beneath your body and capturing her lips in a sensual kiss. It is deliberate, lingering. Her arms fly up and tangle themselves through your hair, locking you together. When your tongues meet, you sigh deeply against her. There is a warmth settling over you. Languid, dream-like. Like you're both floating through clouds, carried away by the sweetest of breezes.

There is nowhere else in the world that you would rather be than right here, between her legs.

You rock into her, once, then twice, each time more intense than the last. The angle is entirely different. You grab a hold of one of her legs and hitch it up a bit, allowing yourself to thrust deeper inside her.

"Are you okay?"

"Mm. Move slower. Nice and slow," she instructs.

And you do. Eventually, a hand comes up to cup the nape of your neck. Sejeong stares into your eyes and your breath catches. Then you're kissing, again and again, but there is not so much desperation and anger anymore, but something else. It is the feel of her hips meeting yours, the way you press your bodies together, the softness of her lips and the taste of her mouth. Her breaths rush from her lips to yours, from hers into you.

Sweat starts to bead at your temples as you rock into her. Slow, deep, patient strokes. It is not desperate fucking anymore, or an attempt to pour all of your heartbreak into some meaningless action. It's almost reverential—the way you're holding each other, soft and sure. A sweet torture, a sublime suffering, for as long as time allows.

You don't talk. Your mouths say nothing, at least. With your bodies, however, your fingertips whisper praise against her skin. Spirits float free and serenade each other. Sounds escape her that you haven't even dreamed of. Broken, wanton, as if wrenched out of her. They rise above and meet in a higher plane of reality, where two minds are one.

It takes time. A slow build to the crescendo. You know when you've struck the final note by the way she cries out, over and over again, her pretty little hole convulsing, spasming around your cock. She wants to squirm away but has nowhere to go. You refuse to let her. You smile against her neck and sink your teeth into the skin there.

Soon you follow, groaning her name into the warm flesh. It's a flood—your insides are melting, pouring out from your loins and into her heat, her insides contracting, trapping every ounce inside. Hot, sticky, yours. This feeling. It is as if your heart has grown wings, a phoenix born anew from the ashes of who you used to be. You don't have to be lost anymore. She will carry you, always, her fingernails tracing patterns in your damp skin. There is nothing to fear.

Sejeong whines and moans softly as you fill her. One more careful thrust and you still, collapsing on top of her as the waves subside. All the while she is there, stroking the back of your neck and quietly reciting every piece of filth that she can think of.

You wonder whether this will last longer than the night.

God. Would you be okay with that?

When you eventually move back to look at her, to make sure she's okay, there are tears in her eyes. Uncertainty overwhelms you. Before you can react, before you can ask what is wrong, Sejeong cups your cheek. "Thank you," she whispers, eyes boring into yours with an intensity that takes your breath away. This girl. All these years. All the wasted time. It feels right being with her; everything is finally where it should have been all along.

"You were worth the wait," you breathe. You place a kiss against her brow before rolling off and settling next to her.

"Do you..." Her voice fades. She runs a finger along your collarbone, eyes anywhere but yours. "Do you want this to be a one-time thing?

"No," you answer without hesitation. You catch her hand in yours, entangling your fingers, willing her to understand everything that you're unable to tell her.

Sejeong smiles. Genuine, unapologetic. For the first time in months, she looks happy. Fuck him, indeed. "Good," she says with a soft laugh that evaporates any of her lingering doubts. Her eyes flick to your lips and she whispers, "So, uh, we've got some lost time to make up for."

"Yeah?" you whisper while rolling her back over and climbing over her. "If there's a debt to be paid..." You start trailing kisses down her neck, down her sternum, grinning at the tiny shivers it elicits. "What better time than now?"

Your kisses lead you over her toned stomach. Once you reach the juncture between her thighs, you pick up her leg and set it over your shoulder. Sejeong is already squirming, anticipating what is to come. You take a look at her—mussed hair and flushed cheeks, mouth slightly open, beautiful, tempting. It feels almost gratuitous—that you're able to see her like this. It makes you pull her even closer, and stick your tongue into her center. Her upper body lifts almost immediately and her eyes fly open. A shaky whimper leaves her lips.

She's right. There is a lot of catching up to do. Luckily for her, there's still the whole night ahead of you and a lot more you'd like to show her.

[the-lady-bryan]

So at first I reblogged this with nothing. No comment, no tags. But then... I dunno I just felt compelled to share this from my life and came back to edit my reblog.

Years ago in February 2010, I moved from Florida to Georgia due to my parents splitting for good. I knew if I stayed with my dad, violence would happen at some point and one of us would be dead and the other in jail for it. I had just started treatment for my bipolar in August 2009 shortly after getting my diagnosis. To move, I had to drop out of college. I'd had to take a year off previously due to family and financial reasons, and had finally gotten back in January 2010. I also had to get a new psychiatrist and therapist so I could continue treatment for my mental health.

It was in group therapy at the new facility in GA where I met this woman. We'll call her Raven, as that's her preferred name. Raven was an older woman in her 50s. We did not have anything in common. But I saw her every week at group. She's been doing this for years. Decades at this point, and while we didn't really interact beyond polite greetings and goodbyes or small talk in the waiting room, a lot of what she said about coping skills resonated with me. Standard coping skills never worked for her, and they don't for me either. So any time she had suggestions for others outside the box, I'd make a note to look into it or try it out. Little by little, her suggestions began to help me adjust to my new situation and work on myself finally after years of being a punching bag for various members of my immediate family. I also heard a lot about her kids, especially her oldest. She never named them. Just indicated them as first son/eldest, daughter/middle, and second son/youngest.

Due to being unable to find work, I left GA for Florida for six months in 2011, returning to GA in September of that year. When I went back into treatment, I didn't see her anymore. I didn't go to group, didn't have transportation reliable enough. And we didn't have appointments near each other either so I didn't cross paths with her again. I'd largely forgotten this woman who had such a positive impact on my recovery and healing journey.

Then, in January 2013, I (unknowingly) met her again at my local library. At this point in my life, I was finally at a point where I was able, with some difficulty, start socializing. I was more confident in myself and my skills and while I hadn't landed a job yet, I did have a few interviews, that sadly I didn't pass but it was better than my job hunts before! And I owed a lot of that progress to that woman's nonjudgmental attitude and suggestions during group years previous.

When I met her again, not recognizing her (admittedly I didn't realize our connection for about 4-6 months after our remewting at the library) I also met her eldest son who was with her that day, who's name I did not know. Because of her suggestions, which I took to heart and used to work on myself for a few years, I was able to not have a panic attack talking to new people. So when this dorky but kinda hot looking guy's phone shouted "EXTERMINATE!" at top volume in the library in a Dalek voice, it immediately drew my attention and prompted me to go over and chat him up. I was only interested in making a new friend, and it was obvious we had a shared interest (as I was wearing my Tom Baker scarf that day as well, so yeah... Very obvious shared interest).

Now, 11 years after marrying that man who's name I learned that very day, and 14 years after meeting his mother, my life is not at all where I imagined it to be at 37. I expected to be a hermit with dogs and alone forever. Now I'm a married person with a 10 year old kid and a dog older than the kid by about a year or two. It's been hard, yes. But I'm actually quite happy with the way things turned out.

Weird how it all started by meeting this one crazy old woman at group therapy.

What’s crazy is you can just meet someone and have no idea they’re going to change your life forever

[taelophone]

Where Is He? ♱ ⋆˙⟡ — Luigi Mangione x Reader ⋆⭒˚｡⋆ TWs: BLASPHEMY. Corruption kink . Improper use of a Rosary . Loss of Virginity . Tech Bro-ish Luigi . Dumbification . Reader is naïve . Coercion . Dark "undertones" but not really . Biblical imagery (duh) . Animal/Flower symbolism . Choking . Luigi's a liiiiitle mean . my grammarly dyed while making this so there may be spelling errors

Let's all raise a glass to @cranberrydietcoke for this wonderful idea <3

Respect was something that was taught in your house day after day.

It’s something you were expected to give to those around you: your elders, family members, strangers, anyone. The words “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” rang through your head for as long as you could remember.

Your friends always described you as expressive and generous, your kind and giving nature charmed the hearts of many. You were a sweetheart! A real angel.

The golden cross between your collarbones twinkled and glimmered under the sunlight, your white and blue sneakers scrunching and folding the crisp autumn leaves beneath you.

The sun beamed down on you, rays of warmth highlighting your skin as you made your way to pay your friend, Luigi, a visit. By now, he was probably locked up in the lab, pushing his spine to its natural limit as he folded over some laptop.

The plan was to give him some water, words of encouragement, and have a nice little chat before leaving to run some errands. And you were going to do just that!

You tugged your tote bag further up your shoulder, preventing the irritating strap from slipping further before pushing the double doors to Levine Hall open.

There was a loud clock-clock-clock as the soles of your sneakers tapped against the tile floors, the little charms and trinkets on your bag generating quiet clinking sounds as you walked.

You rounded the corner, making your way into the building's computer science and engineering part with a pep in your step. You waved at some of your passing acquaintances, offering warm smiles and good mornings to each familiar face.

“Luuu!” You called, approaching the table at the far back of the room. And there he was, strong and burly, as he whirled his head around to the familiar mellifluous hymn.

“Hey! What’s up!” He beamed, immediately scooting his chair back and tearing his focus away from the fat and boxy Dell computer in front of him.

“Hi!” You chirped, beaming brightly at Luigi, gravitating towards him immediately to give him a brief side hug. “I brought you some water and some chips!”

You pulled the two items out of your tote bag, handing them each to him gently with a soft smile.

“Thank you, that’s really sweet,” he beamed, graciously accepting your offerings and setting them down on his desk.

“How’s your day been?” He asked, cracking open his bottle of water with a small plastic crack, chugging it quickly as he crunched the water bottle in his hand.

“Well,” you began, pushing the image of his Adam’s apple bobbing as soon as he drank his water to the back of your head. “I started today with my daily bread, and then I got in the shower to try this new philosophy body wash I bought, had an abysmal breakfast, and then made my way here!”

He smiled, chuckling boyishly at your summarized morning. He nodded, typing up nonsense on his computer.

You leaned over his shoulder, your chin hovering just above his trapezius as you read over the code. 

“Interesting…” you murmured, your brows pinching together with confusion.

He chuckled, shaking his head subtly. “It’s ok I barely understand this shit either,” he said.

“But it’s your job…yeah, okay,” you chuckled, rolling your eyes with the ghost of a smirk present on your features.

“That doesn’t mean I get it, though,” he joked, taking his hands off the keyboard and crossing them over his chest. His biceps flexed, the subtle pull of his veins gracing your very eyes as you straightened your posture once again.

“Whatever, man. I have errands to run,” you giggled, checking the time on your phone before tucking it back in your back pocket. “You should stop by later! Tell me more about your robot stuff. I’ve got like…ice cream and graham crackers.”

He smiled, piecing together his thought process once again as he went back to work. “Yeah, sure. I’ll come by at like five, five-thirty,” he said, punctuating his acceptance with a light nod.

You beamed, returning his words with a quiet “Great!” before saying your goodbyes and toddling off to complete the rest of your morning.

You spent the next 4 hours outside, running across Philadelphia to do ridiculous amounts of favors and errands.

Helping at the local church to prep for Sunday service, fixing around at a community soup kitchen, paperwork at city hall, and a lot of window shopping as you shredded the streets with gentle hands.

You were tired, to say the least.

After hour 2 of listening to the old pastor drawl on about his plans and wisdom of the week, your eyes stung with feather-light fatigue.

You sat on the bench, your knees pressed to your chest as you stared half-heartedly into the man’s obsidian eyes. 

“Oh, my goodness!” He interrupted, getting a good look at the clock that lay tick-tick-tocking at the back of the room. “Look at the time! Thank you for helping me, young lady, but I gotta go and pick up my wife,” he said, wrapping his watch around his wrist.

You returned his smile, instantly unraveling your arms from around your knees. You went to leave, but you felt a gentle hand on your shoulder and a spark of what could only be described as an electric shock fizzling in your mind.

“The lord has asked me to tell you to be careful. Take care of yourself, baby,” He pleaded, a warm and sympathetic smile spreading across his bronze face, aged with the bitter salts of time and experience.

You stood still, time leaving you at once as your heart palpitated momentarily.

Ba-bump. Ba-bump. Ba-bump.

“I will. Thank you, Pastor Greene.” you nodded, ignoring the slight unease that engulfed your heart before exiting the church.

You stepped back into the warm white sunlight, the refreshing breeze rejuvenating your lungs as you took a deep breath. What was that even about?

You headed back home; quick to go pray away any negative energy and lay in your bed for the next 3 hours or so. And as soon as your feet planted on the wooden planks of your living room, you were eager to shower and face the Father once more.

You skipped to your bathroom, ridding yourself of the white turtleneck and baby-blue jeans. The shower fogged, condensation dribbling down the warmed glass.

The shower grew extremely blurred as thoughts poured down your mind, the scalding hot sin clouding your thoughts as you thought of his strong arms, the flex of his biceps, his God-given Adam’s Apple and the way it moved with his water—

You were getting sidetracked. It’s time to get out of the shower.

With a sigh, your eyes widened in shock at your own suddenly filthy mind. You tugged on your plush and grey bathrobe before scurrying away from the bathroom as quickly as you followed in.

You got your things situated on your vanity: your lotion, your bible, your skincare, and the little bread-shaped card holder that held little cards of your daily bread. 

Your soft and gentle hands slathered your tacky skin in the buttery soft lotion, vanilla innocence and almond milk painting your angelic skin.

The extra sheen of sparkle the lotion gave you before putting on your pajamas, a freshly washed matching black tank top, and black sleep shorts. You tugged on the white drawstring, tying it in a tight knot and securing it around your hips.

With your pajamas on, your skin hydrated, and your mind cleared, you kneeled at your bedside. You found your rosary on the edge of your bed frame, the light wooden beads dangling the silver cross as you wrapped the sacred pearls around your fingers.

Your hands intertwined in prayer as murmurs left your sweet lips with your eyes fluttered shut.

Everywhere I walk, let it be on your path. Everything I see, let it be through your eyes. Everything I do, let it be your will. For every hardship I face, let me place it in your hands.

The incantations left your mouth like second nature, light and positive love flowing through your veins as you kept your head up high to your Savior.

When you rose from your kneeled position, the first thing you did was pull your pink-covered and annotated Bible in your lap. You plucked the rose-tinted highlighter from between the pages, scanning over the scriptures in silent wonder.

You hummed to yourself, lying flat on your stomach and slipping out of this world and into the next. Peace was growing increasingly rare in the world, and you were lucky to find it in moments like these.

That is until your phone dinged loudly.

You sighed, picking up your phone and flipping the screen to reveal Luigi’s text. He was five minutes away.

You smiled, hearting the message before placing your highlighter in between the thin pages. You popped up from your bed, throwing on your house slippers.

You toddled downstairs, making your way to the kitchen just to set out a tub of ice cream from the arctic depths of your deep freezer, hoping it softened slightly before his arrival.

You sliced up some lemon to throw in your almost iced pitcher of water from the fridge, the fogged condensation dampening your knuckles as they brushed against the body while you held the handle.

You grabbed the box of scarcely touched graham crackers, setting them next to the tub of ice cream. With everything ready, you snapped a pic of the little spread, giggling quietly to yourself before sending the pic to Luigi.

The living room was perfectly tidy, with vibrant orange flames of Macintosh Spice burning to fill the room with comfort. You stared at the portrait of Father God on the wall, meeting His eyes with humility and love before the doorbell chimed.

“Lu!” You smiled, immediately swinging open the door to reveal Luigi in his tech-bro glory. Both arms wrapped around his larger torso, pulling him in a brief, but squeeze-y hug.

“Hey,” he chuckled, stepping into your cozy and…unsurprisingly pure home. He took in his surroundings at once; the cross above the door, the picture of god on the wall, the pink and fuzzy throw blanket, and the little display case of cute Funko pops.

“Oh, that's so cool!” He gasped, gravitating towards the glassy shelf and staring at the vinyl figures. Thumper, Bambi, Stitch, Chip, Winnie the Pooh, and many more cutesy displayed figures. “You collect these?”

“Sometimes,” you nodded, crouching down next to him. I like buying the cute ones just to display,” you explained, watching him smile and giggle at the Kirby POP, snickering at how he was just a pink blob with tiny hot pink nubs.

He stood back up, gathering himself once again before sighing. “How were your errands? You said you were gonna run some today right?” He asked, crashing down on your couch with a light plop.

“I did!” You said, fetching the ice cream and graham crackers from the kitchen, and sitting them down on the beige coffee table. “I helped out Pastor Greene at the church this morning, organized some of his paperwork, helped him pick an outfit, helped decorate for Sunday’s service, helped finish some of his unfinished paperwork…I did a lot actually…”

Luigi’s brows raised slightly with an unidentifiable emotion. In a way it resembled pity, but also cocky superiority as if you were doing something…wrong?

“That’s a lot of free labor,” He joked, shooting you a sly smirk as he ate a piece of graham cracker.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You chuckled. Breathy and forced with a raise of a brow as your mind tried to pick apart what he was getting at. Sure, you had your ways and blocks, but you weren’t stupid. “Don’t you do community service too?”

“I do,” he nodded. But I don’t think anything you did besides decorating for Sunday counts as community service. Pastor Greene's service, maybe, but it seems like you just helped him avoid doing the work he’s supposed to do as the pastor.”

You paused, replaying his words over again in your mind. Your spoon dragged through the slightly softened ice cream, the cold heaven deforming from its neat and perfect scoop.

“I don’t think so…” you said, tilting your head slightly. “I think it still counts as community service. Even if he is using me for personal gain, I’d still be helping someone in need, which is fine by me,” You justified.

“That’s cute,” he smiled, the sudden patronization and smug tone caught you a little off guard. He was normally a charming and polite man…but you were more than willing to look past it. After all, he was just concerned about your well-being. It was very thoughtful of him to take this level of care.

You nodded hesitantly, the confusion evident in your brows as they furrowed slightly. “Tell me about your robot thing! How’s it coming along?” You asked, eager to shake the festering feeling of doubt that began to gnaw at the back of your neck.

Luigi sat up a little more correctly this time, actually placing his feet on the ground and leaning back against the backrest of the couch. His hips came up a little, adjusting his position on the couch. An action that didn’t go unnoticed by you.

“It’s coming along great, actually,” he said, scanning over you closely. “I’ve been so stressed but I’m finally getting my shit together. Had to lock in.”

The pair of you chuckled together, chattering about different forms of data and computer science. He spoke in such a firm and confident tone. He wasn’t loud, but he wasn’t quiet. There was a thick layer of child-like wonder in his words as he mansplained robotics.

And you clung on to every single word he had to say. It was nice to see him light up, gesture wildly with his hands, and eagerly describe what was essentially a grueling process of inspiration to intellectual burnout over and over again. But he made it seem so fun!

You nodded, leaning back and adjusting your sitting before feeling a sharp pointed thing poke into the back of your leg.

“Ouch…” You whispered, furrowing your brows and pulling your rosary out of your shorts back pocket. “Oops…I forgot I had this,” you chuckled breathily, wrapping your rosary around your wrist and hoping you didn't throw him off from talking about his interests.

“That's pretty,” He said, staring at the prayer beads with a new glint in his eye as he reached out to examine the cross that dangled from your fingers. Sleek, shiny, and smooth wood met the pads of his fingers as you let him mindlessly fidget with the pearls of the Lord. He seemed fascinated by them like they were the most foreign thing he’d ever seen.

“I’ve never been Christian,” He started, slowly untangling the beads from your hands and placing the rosary on the coffee table. “It’s kind of a creepy concept when you think about it…believing in a made-up man with no evidence but word of mouth and a man-made book that's been translated over and over again.”

You scoffed, shaking your head at his statement before waving him off. 

“Science and theory are the exact same. Trusting the words of a bunch of men in coats because someone told you their ideas were right. At least with God, it’s way more simple” You said, poking at your ice cream with your spoon. 

“Oh, honey…”  He chuckled quietly. “Christianity is simple in a way that prevents you from living. Plus you can’t prove god is real. Science is complex because it's been proved by years of natural demonstration. You being alive to even preach the word of god is proof enough.”

Taken aback by his forward and patronizing tone, your head cocked back subtly before you gave Luigi a light chuckle. “My faith doesn’t prevent me from living…” You murmured, crossing your arms over your chest. 

In his eyes, you looked like a white lily; perfect petals and dainty little buds blossoming from the soul. Like freshly plucked notes of a harp, you sat in front of him an angel on earth. He wasn’t religious, after all, religion was a vastly misinterpreted and discredited term for people to justify impressing their wrongdoing upon others. A safe haven to “turn to” when man made a mistake, seeking refuge in the all-forgiving hands of Jesus Christ.

“Come here,” he prompted, gesturing his hands toward him loosely.

You paused, raising a brow at him in silent confusion. You crawled closer to him, still staying a comfortable distance away from him to leave some space for Christ.

“See?” he pointed out, his giddy words dripping with thick condensation. “You can’t even get close to me.”

“I can,” you corrected. “But I don’t like sitting particularly close to people because it invites room for lust. It’s not good for you” you recited, almost like the words were engraved on the base of your brain.

“Proving my point” He chuckled, giving you the most cocky and smug grin you’ve ever seen him don.

You sighed, quickly weighing out the pros and cons of getting closer to Luigi. He was a nice guy, for sure, and he’d never do anything without your explicit permission. After all, God is faithful and will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.

“That wasn’t so bad, see? Be careful!” He joked, holding back boyish giggles. “God’s watching!”

You chuckled, albeit involuntarily as he not-so-subtly poked fun at your devotion. 

“Alright, not too much now” you snickered, trying to ignore how your mind and soul buzzed with a sudden unidentifiable thirst. His voice was low, an aura of deep temptation emitting from him in the form of bodily heat.

His sharp and wolfish eyes met yours, the warm and endless portals of black sucked you in within an inch of your life. Falling through the rabbit hole like a dumb bunny that didn’t look while they ran.

“What's wrong?”  He asked, noticing the way your lamb-like eyes widened ever so slightly. He placed a firm and heavy hand on your thigh, the skin-to-skin contact burning you alive as you fought for your sanity.

There was no way in the world he wasn’t messing with you. He had to be. You scanned his face, searching for any sign of malice or harmful intent, but all you came up with was his gorgeously sculpted features and head of wooly brown curls.

“I’m fine, yeah,” You nodded, clearing your throat as he slowly began to pull you in his lap. Slow and deliberate, like an apex sneaking up on their next feast. His hands gradually came to rest on the back of your thighs as he positioned both of your legs on top of his slowly.

“You sure? You seem tense,” he teased, his strong and firm hands now kneading the supple flesh on your legs. “It’s okay, your made-up god isn’t watching.”

He chuckled under you, staring at the framed photo of god on your wall. He indeed was watching the pair of you, their eyes interlocking for a moment.

In a sick and almost twisted way, Luigi felt like he was above a god at that exact moment. Reducing the religious memorabilia around the living room to nothing but decoration as he cooed condescending little comments in your ear.

“Poor thing…thinks her little god is more reliable than science,” he chuckled. “So naïve. So very naïve.”

His big hands caressed the underside of your thighs, his steadily rising erection pressing against the tight fabric of his cargo shorts.

You felt it directly between the concave between your thighs; angry and insistent as it twitched and hissed in an effort to communicate with your now achy and fervent womb.

They conversed in a rampant back and forth, twitches and beats of silence while you attempted to hang on to your fleeting sense of self-control. Greedy and gluttonous, you felt your lower abdomen flutter as you struggled to look Luigi in his eyes.

“See I’d help you out…but you’re Christian, remember? Fornication is off limits” he laughed, his head knocking back as he cooed at you like some sort of idiot animal.

Reduced to silence, twitching and pulsing you were sure he could feel, you whined at his unfortunately correct words.

Chaste, innocent, and virgin as Mother Mary. Your actions weren’t your own, you swear! It was the devil that allowed Luigi to coax your hips along his bulge, the thick and twitchy mound relieving a fraction of the achy tension between your legs.

“This is…really bad—“ you panted, brows pinching together in newfound euphoria. Waves of sweet, sinful pleasure washed over you. But yet the thirst persisted; parched with stinging tears of saltwater brimming in your eyes.

“Hmm?” He hummed, rocking your hips against his more intensely. “Let me know if you want me to stop…”

The envelope was on the table. All you had to do was take it. If you really wanted him to stop, a simple “No more” would have sufficed for him.

But the words never left your lips.

They died somewhere along the disconnect in your thought process compared to your morals. What did find their way to the surface, though, was high and breathy moans as you dry-humped one of your close friends.

How shameful. Blessed be the whore that gives into the temptation of the serpent, for she knows not that she is being deceived by the work of sin.

The ebb and flow of pleasure grew painful; it wasn’t enough for you as vestality chipped away from you, the cracks of pleasure generating a slick and damp feeling in the soft pink cotton fabric of your panties.

“More, please…” you croaked, squeezing your eyes shut as Luigi used your smaller frame like a toy for his own pleasure.

“Oh, you want more now?” He cooed, turning you around so your back was pressed to his chest. “But look who’s watching you, hmm?”

He pointed at the painting of Christ, his eyes unmoving as you stared at the portrait. You whined, clamping your eyes shut to help fight the feeling of shame.

Regret and remorse were only short-lived, as before you could even process your failure to uphold your morals, large and hot hands found their way down your shorts and to your drenched folds.

“It’s ok, my dear…he can watch me appreciate his creation,” he chuckled, pushing a large finger in you slowly. Much to his surprise, he found it a little more difficult than he had anticipated.

Walls of supple and sensitive flesh refused him with rapt denial, your very own body trying its hardest to deny him entry in favor of virtue. She cried, wetting him down to the knuckle in aroused melancholy as he slowly bullied his way through the previously locked temple.

You whined, the unfamiliar and slightly painful sensation blocking your path to common sense. It felt good, but it hurt, erotic fire burned at your core as your body made clockwork of adjusting to the stretch.

“There we go,” he said, slowly dragging his finger in and out of you as you began to calm down. His free hand wrapped around you, securing you in place while his middle finger worked on plucking the stamens from your flower.

“Isn’t this so much better than religious paranoia?” He cooed, gradually gaining speed as his ring finger began to press at your entrance as well. “Deep breath for me, baby.”

You sucked in a sharp breath, fighting the urge to scream as his ring finger pushed into you. It hurt like hell, but maybe that pain was the vengeance for disobeying the word of God.

“Fuckin…hurts!” You whined, leaning your head back into the crook of his neck.

“I know, I know, but you’ll get used to it…” he reassured, plunging his fingers in and out of you at a moderate face that had your cunt drooling into his palm.

You leaned back against him for some semblance of comfort, fisting the cotton of his shirt to self-soothe as the pain slowly began to fade away.

And when it did begin to fade, you were left with the most delicious fruit of pleasure you had ever bitten from in your life. Your eyes shot open with the intangible, over 20 years of unexplored sensations washed over you at once.

He borderline abused the spongy spot inside of you that had you seeing stars; thousands of cosmos you had never even thought about before.

He chuckled lowly the high and breathy moans that you rewarded him with, your nails digging into the sides of his wrists as he coaxed you into an intense orgasm.

“See, look at you…you love science, right? God wouldn’t allow you to have this, but man does…” he said, continuing to pump his fingers in and out of you at the same brutal pace, even after you painted his fingers glossy white.

And he watched with rapt attention as you cried and whined in his lap. The way you attempted to squeeze your legs shut to get the achy and electric sensation to go away, wriggling around on his lap in an effort to escape the pleasure he was giving you.

He didn’t let you run, not even a little. Instead, he took the arm he had wrapped around your body and scooped your legs up by the back of the thigh, pressing you further against his chest.

“Don’t run from it…you need this with how I’ll do you later,” he warned, a cocky and knowing smirk forming on his face as he listened to you pant and moan.

That’s when he began to feel you clench and spasm around him for a second time, your tears matching your release as you wept with overstimulation.

“Good job, so so good…you did so good for me,” he praised, punctuated with a feather-light kiss to your forehead before he pulled his drenched and opalescent fingers out of you, coaxing your jaw open with his opposite hand and shoving them to the back of your throat.

His rough and lecherous ways paralleled your own in a sick and depraved way; what you lacked in experience and knowledge he picked up with action and skill. His tainted and analytical mind brushed off on yours, using your pure and sinless brain to better his own.

“Good girl,” he mused as you quietly gagged on his fingers before obediently sucking them clean. He used that allotted time to pull down both of your shorts, his grapefruit-pink tip angrily shooting up and knocking against your cunt.

 You jumped, your eyes widening as you moved your head to look down, blinking away any tears that fogged your vision. 

He was huge. So huge you weren’t even sure how that was supposed to fit inside of you without something or someone breaking.

“Don’t panic,” he mumbled, pulling his fingers out your mouth with an almost grotesque pop. “We’ll make it fit.”

“C’mon, I’m makin’ you watch,” He stated, grabbing the back of your neck and pushing it down slightly so you had no other choice but to watch as the shiny beads of precum fizzled from his slit and rubbed against your cunt.

The sight was dizzying in itself. He swiped himself against you, two—three…four times before he grabbed himself at the base.

“Deep breath for me, hmm?” He said, lining himself up with you while pressing his other hand over your mouth. He pushed in slowly, after all, he wasn’t a psycho.

You watched as he slowly speared you open, slowly separating you from your vestal and celibate body as he speared you open. You cried out in alarm, a sound that was swallowed by his large palm over your mouth.

“You’re okay, relax, baby, relax..” he whispered, coaxing you down further along his agonizingly long cock. He removed his hand from over your mouth, a quiet string of profanities leaving his lips as you clenched down on him.

“Relax,” he stated, a little bit more firmly. “We’re not gonna get anywhere if you won’t let me in…”

You nodded, trying your best to ease up in his lap. Luigi took that as a sign to push in at once, earning a yelp from you in the process as you began to pant heavily.

“Luigi!” You scolded, pinching his leg disapprovingly as tears stung your waterline again.

“Better to rip the bandaid off than prolong the pain” he chuckled, resting his hands on your hips to rub gentle circles on your skin.

He let enough time go by until your chest stopped staggering up and down, letting you slowly ease in his arms again before he began to piston his hips up into you slowly.

You were so gone, convulsing and moaning on him like it was the last thing you’d ever do. He took a hand back off your hips and placed it over your neck again, driving your gaze towards the sinful display as he bucked into you like an angry goat.

“Poor thing…so sensitive…” He mocked, grinning at your fucked out expression as he buried himself in your ribs. “You feel alright?”

It was too much to attempt to talk. Your eyes had clamped shut somewhere in the process, giving him frantic and tired nods as he leaned forward presumably to cage you against him further.

But that’s when your senses picked up a familiar sound.

Your rosary.

“Start praying,” he commanded, fidgeting with the beads absentmindedly.

You gasped, trying to make out any sentence you could as he brutally abused your weeping cunt.

“Start praying or I’ll stop,” He said, slowing his hips down and causing you to chant out tiny whines of “Okay, I’m sorry.”

“God is…God is our—! Oh dear..” you began, mind fogging up as you tried to squeeze out Psalm 46. “God is our refuge…and strength…”

“An ever-present help—Ah! In trouble…Therefore we will not fear—!”

He wrapped the wooden beads of prayer around your throat, the words of the lord dying in your larynx as he tugged your head back with the fever of a madman.

He was all around you; watching your every move as if surveying you from above. How ironic, the sight. The petals of your lively and gentle buds being plucked piece by piece by the hands of science.

In this sinful and dishonorable scene before him, there was no sight of a god. Only man and need as you cried and moaned around his fingers. And just like a serpent of science, testing your faith with temptation, he sunk his teeth into the side of your neck.

When you began to clench and flutter around him again, he panted, animalistic and heavy groans of his own rushing forward as he, too, began to come undone.

“Tight—! Fuck fuck fuck fuck,” He whined, listening to your loud and feminine moans as your holy-white release covered him from tip to base. 

And with a few more rough and bruising thrusts straight to your cervix, he pulled out just in time to paint your stomach poltergeist-white.

You panted, whining loudly as he pulled your trembling form off of him and tossed your rosary somewhere on the couch.

“C’mon…let’s go shower”

[delusion-is-back]

*slams fist on the table* you know what I want? I want a fic of Jayce and Vi in a lavender marriage

I want a story where Jayce Talis, young and successful bachelor of Piltover starts getting marriage proposals from some of the more powerful families in Piltover, all of them with the clear intent of getting their grubby hands on Hextech as it's being developed. And Jayce, not knowing how to tell those vulture to fuck off decides the best course of action is to fake already being married to someone he knows won't screw him over.

His first choice is Cait, she's the single daughter of the Kiramman house, she would be a perfect match except for the fact that she's like his little sister, just the thought of suggesting a marriage to his openly lesbian little sister makes him want to barf, he can't ask her that. Plus he doesn't fully trust Cassandra not to take advantage of their fake marriage when it comes to hextech and he would rather not risk it.

She other obvious option would be Mel, another member of the council they would make the best power couple in Piltover but again, it doesn't feel right to ask that of her, Jayce knows that Mel would understand his predicament and help him but it would be serving Hextech in a silver platter to Ambessa if she got wind of her daughter marring the Man of Progress.

The list of women he would ask this is very short, while all of this is going on Jayce realizes he really needs to make more friends.

Jinx is not an option, not even a consideration she would kill him for even asking and he would rather take his chances with the vultures than with her.

That only leaves one, the one person he really, really didn't want to ask but realistically was his better shot at.

Vi would laugh at him for two solid minutes until she realizes he's being serious, followed by Vi trying to carefully reject him because "You're a cool guy Jayce, but you're really not my type" which Jayce would sulk on later but for now he really needs Vi to agree to help him with this before he loses his mind.

It takes a lot of begging and a lot of yapping, a lot of appealing to Vi's good heart and the danger of Hextech falling into the wrong hands before she starts to listen. Vi doesn't understand why Jayce can't just tell them to fuck off but that's rich people's problems she doesn't really wanna know about. Until she finally, reluctantly, agrees to do him this one solid because in all fairness she took his gauntlets and never gave them back.

And so Jayce makes a public announcement to the investors who kept bugging him with marriage proposals to, respectfully, fuck off because the man of progress already has a wife. Now that's out of the way, another problem surges because Jayce Talis is not very good at evaluating the consequences of action, because now the council and the people of piltover want to meet Mrs. Talis.

Stuffing Vi in a formal dress is no easy task, for one because none of Cait's really fit her, and those that do are a little too long and Vi already stated that she's not wearing heels, she can handle a dress but those ankle snapping heels are off the table, it's her regular shoes hidden under a long skirt dress or nothing.

Taking Vi to a formal event felt like dragging a bull into a china shop and locking the door, Jayce's behind didn't unclench for the entire night as he shuttled her around the uppercrust of piltover, they'd made up some bullshit story about Vi's past since being a former inmate of stillwater was not a very compelling story. If any members of the council recognized Violet they didn't say anything.

Now you may be wondering where is Viktor in all of this? Wouldn't he have something to say about it? Well he's just enjoying the shitshow from the sidelines, because Jayce Talis forgot one crucial thing about the whole thing; there's no such thing as homophobia in Ruterra, and if the issue was Jayce finding a spouse quick Viktor would've been more than willing to play along for the sake of protecting Hextech, but before he could even suggest it Jayce was already digging his own grave and it was way to entertaining for Viktor not to sit back and watch it all go down. He would tell Jayce how dumb his plan was another day and watch the realization hit him, but for now he's just having a good time watching Jayce Talis trying to handle the toughest pink haired lesbian of all of Zaun.

[allwaswell16]

All the One Direction fics I read and enjoyed in Dec 2024. For more new fics, check out this month's fic roundup here. You can find my other fic recs here. Although I'm not yet ready to get back to podcasting, I do want to acknowledge all the great fics I read this month. Please let the writers know if you liked the fics by leaving kudos and comments!

- Louis / Harry -

🌲 Be There by @mission2feelike

(NR, 179k, kid fic) The one where their family has been torn apart and their hearts broken, but an accident, a snowstorm, cinnamon rolls, and the adorable Josie force Louis and Harry to finally face the truth, and each other.

🌲 You Should Be Here With Me by @lululawrence

(NR, 34k, football) Louis and his teammates know all too well the pressure that is on their shoulders. They need to prove, not just to fans of the club but the entire league, that they still have what it takes to be a team worthy of fighting for the top of the table.

🌲 Your Reign is Free (to give along to Santa) by LadyLondonderry / @londonfoginacup

(T, 28k, humor) It’s Christmas Eve. It’s a totally normal Christmas Eve. Harry and Louis have some friends coming by, and some totally normal birthday and Christmas plans. It’s a totally typical totally normal Christmas Eve. A fic that takes place over 24 (+1) hours where surely everything will go totally to plan.

🌲 Runaway Bride by IceQueenRia

(E, 22k, omegaverse) Suffering an injury while coming to the rescue of some of the kingdom’s orphans, Harry is welcomed into the castle and finds himself face-to-face with Prince Louis himself, praying that he won’t be recognised as a member of royalty.

🌲 Restlessness, Snowman Cookies, And A Realisation by Candy_Kittens / @candyfloss-kittens

(NR, 8k, omegaverse) While Louis, Liam, Niall, and Zayn take the kids out for a few hours to some Christmas fair, allowing Harry to have the house to himself for a bit, Harry decides to make some snowman themed Christmas cookies and some chocolate fudge for Louis in an attempt to ward off this odd restless and off feeling he’s been having lately.

🌲 I'll be happy, happy once again by Worldsofdreamers / @defences-down

(M, 7k, fake relationship) After being unceremoniously dumped, Louis has no choice but to go along with his best mates' plan to find a date for Lottie's party.

🌲 Day Eighteen: Elf by 28goldensfics / @28goldens

(E, 6k, fantasy) Harry gets much more than he bargained for when he decides to steal from Elven Lord Louis during his Christmas gala.

🌲 I Can Pull It Together by @louislittletomlintum

(E, 6k, body worship) the one where Harry accidentally discovers a new part of Louis he really, really loves.

🌲 There Is Just One Thing I Need by Rearviewdreamer / @all-these-larrythings

(G, 5k, flight attendant Harry) Louis doesn’t want a lot for Christmas apart from getting home in time to see his family. Then, he meets Harry.

🌲 Shaking In The Shockwave by LetTheMusicMoveYou / @letthemusicmoveyou28

(E, 4k, phone sex) the one where Harry is still reeling and heartbroken after discovering his fiancé has been cheating on him. So in a moment of desperation, he decides to spend the weekend at a self-pleasure hotel. As it turns out, the gorgeous blue eyed man at the front desk is more than willing to help distract him

🌲 Let Me In One More Time by @homosociallyyours

(E, 3k, girl direction) At the last minute, Harry's mother springs a bunch of new guests on her for their Thanksgiving meal. When Harry hears that the eldest daughter, Louis, will arrive early to "help" she's not exactly pleased.

🌲 hear my belated regret by theankletattoo / @peachade

(E, 3k, omegaverse) they find love in each other on a vacation.

🌲 Honk by @allwaswell16

(M, 3k, soulmate goose) An omegaverse, soulmate goose fic for the holidays

🌲 Early Bird Gets The Worm by LiveLaughLoveLarry / @loveislarryislove

(E, 2k, voyeurism) Harry uses his binoculars to watch the hot neighbor boy jerk off but it's not his fault really.

🌲 when you don't want coffee by larryftnoctrl / @the-larry-way

(T, 2k, coworkers) Two men who are too dumb to use their words but totally have crushes on each other. Featuring Niall as Captain of the ship ready to save it from sinking at any cost.

🌲 Zero Day by @haztobegood

(E, 1k, getting caught) Harry and Louis are thru-hikers on the PCT.

🌲 The Unselected Journals of Louis W. Tomlinson - Vol 1 by YesIsAWorld / @louandhazaf

(E, 1k, epistolary) The Wandering of Things was not new, nearly two years into living here. However, the, uh, nature of this particular thing was quite different.

🌲 freaky friday by @tracksuitponytail

(E, 1k, body swap) It’s Friday the 13th—a day like any other for Louis until he wakes up in the middle of the night... in his best friend's body.

- Rare Pairs -

🌲 Welcome to My Candy Store by mmaree / @zqua1d

(E, 9k, Zayn/Liam) “This is no ordinary toffee apple,” the woman dressed as a witch tells them. “It's a magic wishing toffee apple.”

🌲 Couldn't miss this one this year by yourlionheartx / @djtommotomlinson

(G, 3k, Liam/Louis) All year Louis has been chasing this gorgeous guy he met at a ski shop. It’s Christmas and he’s decided it’s just time to let it go. He's spending Christmas on his own this year.

🌲 pumpkin spiced regret by @disgruntledkittenface

(M, 1k, Harry/Louis/Nick Grimshaw) You know what they say: If you can’t take the heat in the kitchen, masturbate in the guest bathroom.

[coralaura]

No exit

¡Yandere! ¡Platónico! ¡Batfam x Sable! Lector de DBD

Context: part 1, part 2

Hay varias diferencias con otros fics en mi idea, más que ser un lector abandonado, es más como una relación incómoda.

Sable! Reader didn't know that Bruce Wayne was her father until her mother and father (or in this case stepfather) die, and that's where she realizes that all this time, she was never the daughter of that cheerful man who tried to turn a blind eye to the inevitable reality of death and darkness surrounding them.

As I said in another post (this one) or rather wrote, Sable! Reader always felt different from her parents, she never felt like she fit in, so it doesn't surprise her that her real father is so gloomy, in fact for her it explains a lot of things.

Unlike other fics, Y/N doesn't want to actively establish a relationship with the Batfam, in fact she still feels that this is not the place, after all they are already a formed family, she is just the one night mistake of her mother and a millionaire who didn't know how to put on protection.

For Y/N, the place she belongs is the realm of the entity, there is the only one she felt she fit in with and who could complement Mikaela, her best friend.

Surprisingly, in the realm of the entity, she not only fits in with Mikaela, she discovers more survivors, some with knowledge of the darkness from before arriving in this hell, and with them she gets along best and ends up finding a “family” that has the same purpose and tries to help each other.

However, when she is suddenly taken out of the realm of the entity and sees who she considered uncomfortable family members in front of her, she feels like something has been taken away from her.

On the other hand, the Batfam is still trying to understand how you came back, they watched and analyzed all this time the video in which Y/N Ward disappeared.

Although they have you back, much to the disappointment of the entity, they continue to investigate and find a way for Y/N not to leave again and stray from their side.

They feel guilty for not even having the cordiality to meet you or let you know that you are someone from this family despite being raised by others.

The most repentant in this is Damian, who feels bad for having harassed you, but you can't blame him, right? He believed that he was Bruce's only son and his firstborn and suddenly a girl arrives snatching his place as firstborn and showing that his security was false in all its magnitude, she just needed time to digest it and maybe some threat from him, however she regrets the latter, so you're going to forgive him, right?

Y/N Ward doesn't return the same from the realm of the entity. Do you know how many times she was consumed and killed? No one returns intact from such torture and the poor young woman is no exception, hearing the sound of a chainsaw makes her heart race as if she were running a marathon, the sounds of the old horror movies she used to watch; make the traumas of seeing his friends being killed one by one make their way into his psyche, the sound of an engine; it causes his hands to shake and he just thinks about how many he has left to fix, the blood dripping down his hands reminds him of the times he bled to death on the floor while he saw the killer's mocking expression.

All of these traumas are seen by the Batfam, especially Dick, who tries to help his little sister with her trauma only to be greeted with a dirty look and the phrase "don't bother", Jason also recognizes the clear warning signs, after all the things the Joker did to her weren't daisies and sugar, Jason has a more... distant approach but one that works better than Dick's harassment.

That's where Jason and therefore the others discover that Y/N Ward has died more than once and has come back from the dead over and over and over again, it's a bomb that Y/N literally drops after Jason tells her that she died for a while just to call him a rookie.

How many times did Y/N Ward die? I don’t know and she doesn’t keep count either, she stopped counting when it was over twenty.

Could Y/N heal and be happy? Will she probably have a family to support her? Will the world let her be happy? No, because something else came with her after being cast out of the entity realm and that something, craves her blood, again.

"They may try to hurt you. But they won’t take you down easily.”

Taglist

@sheep-from-rad

@bunbunboysworld

@snowy-violet

The Taglist is always open if you want to join or get out you can ask me at any time, my taglist is also open my inbox, in case you have any ideas or a request

[4ranghaes]

SONG FIC SUNGHO PLEASE…

- your new anon ☁️ (ilysungho! but ill go by the emoji cuz it’s easier)

saw your post with all your upcoming works and ran SPRINTED to anon msg so fast

song fic!💋

now playing… she’s a baby by zico

park sungho x reader [fluff, fem!reader - she/her pronouns used]

a/n - ahhhh hello my luv!!!!! i’m so sorry this took so long to get round to especially since i LOVE your blog, you ALWAYS deliver😚 hope you enjoy! (also i simply decided to pretend the last lyric doesnt exist cause i wanted fluff)

15:36 - “come on,” sungho smiled, shaking you awake in the back of the taxi, “y/n? we’re home. let’s get upstairs so you can sleep properly.”

you whined, stretching out your body and mumbling an apology to the driver before getting out after sungho. your boyfriend slung his own bag as well as yours over his shoulder before offering his hand to you. you yawned, wrapping your hand around his finger as if instinctual (though, it was at this point - sungho had been persuading you to hold his hand like this for so long and in your sleepy state, you forgot you didn’t have to). he pursed his lips for a moment in order to not explode at your cuteness, glancing up at the sky, before heading inside the apartment building.

“come on, sleepyhead,” he smiled, your body quickly following along behind him. once in the elevator, sungho sighed in satisfaction, pulling you into his body. you were so often the one planning, carrying out errands, and running around for friends and family; sungho had practically made it his mission when you first met to be the one person in your life who would give you a break. before he knew it, the change had already happened in front of his eyes.

entering the dorm building, you waved a sleepy greeting to the boys sat around, sungho paying them no mind as he beckoned you into his bedroom.

“come on, little love,” he said, his voice smooth as he instructed you to undress quickly, grabbing the pyjamas he’d bought after he saw you looking at them in a shop the other day, “you wanna wear these?”

“are they mine?!” you gasped, sungho nodding with a smile as he kissed your forehead.

“if you want them?”

“of course i do!” you giggled, quickly getting changed and getting under sungho’s sheets, the man tidying up the clothes just taken off and the various bags collected from your date today.

he walked to the bedside, ready to chat for a while as you liked to do before sleeping; only to find you lightly snoring against the pillow.

sungho smiled, pulling the duvet up around your body before leaning down and pressing a kiss to your head, “sleep well, baby.” he walked out the room, closing the door with a light click.

“hyung! come—”

“shh!” sungho exclaimed quickly, finger to his lips as he glared at woonhak stood outside his bedroom door, having just exited the bathroom. he grabbed his arm, dragging him to the living room where the other members were spread around, “y/n has just fallen asleep, okay?! leave her.”

woonhak suppressed a laugh, surrendering innocently, “sorry, hyung. didn’t realise we had a sleeping baby in the house.”

sungho sighed, rolling his eyes as he joined the boys in their game of fifa, “shut up. she’s special to me, okay? just let her sleep.”

extra? ->

16:56 - “oh?” riwoo laughed, watching you appear from sungho’s bedroom, “someone’s awake.”

you giggled, continuing to rub the sleep from your eyes as you waved. looking around the room, only riwoo, leehan and sungho remained, playing diligently. you caught sungho’s eye and he smiled, almost proudly, as you laughed.

wordlessly, you left the doorway and sunk onto the floor beside him, his arms opening up to invite you into his warm body.

“sleep well?”

you nodded into his chest, arms linked around his waist as he chuckled, rubbing your arm as he pressed a kiss to your head, “good. my baby.”

[wisteria-lodge]

SORTING DISNEY LADIES (1999-2004)

Part 1 - Disney Ladies 1937-1985

Part 2 - Disney Ladies 1988-1993

Part 3 - Disney Ladies 1995-1998

I’m going in chronological order, and doing both A Squad and B Squad, because I’m interested in tracking how the ideal “disney girl” has changed in the last (almost) 90 years. Right now I’m only looking at the human-shaped heroines of Disney animated theatrical releases. A more detailed break-down of the system I’m using is right here, but the basics are these: 

PRIMARY (ie MOTIVE) 

BADGER ~ Loyal to the group.

SNAKE ~ Loyal to yourself and your Important People.

LION ~ Subconscious Idealist. Ideals are linked to feelings and instincts. 

BIRD ~ Conscious Idealist. Ideals are linked to built systems and external facts. 

SECONDARY (ie METHOD) 

BADGER ~ Connect with the group. Make allies, work steadily and well. Be whatever the situation calls for. If you find a locked door, knock.

SNAKE ~ Connect with the environment. Notice things. Tell people what they want to hear. If you find a locked door, get in through the window.

BIRD ~ Collect skills, tools, knowledge, personas, useful friends. If you find a locked door, track down the key or learn to pick the lock.

LION ~ Be honest, be direct, speak your truth. Either the obstacle is going down or you are. If you find a locked door, kick it in.

JANE PORTER (1999)

(& Tarzan, Kerchack)

Disney’s Tarzan is a ridiculously Snake primary movie. Like,  just to make this really, really clear, the first thing we see - the absolute cold open, is - 

Burning ship! Storm! Fire! Tarzan’s parents get into a lifeboat! He looks at her. She looks at him. Phil Collins --

PUT YOUR FAITH IN WHAT YOU MOST BELEEEIVE IN!!!!!!

We get it. You can lose literally everything, but if you’ve still got your Person, you’re going to be OK. 

And this movie’s ethos is definitely Snake, not Loyalist. Badger primaries do not get a flattering edit. The antagonist for the first half is Tarzan’s adoptive fatherKerchack, who is deeply protective of his band of gorillas (all girls, by the way. He's the only guy. Which is how gorillas work, and the film doesn’t exactly bring attention to it, but still. Interesting detail.) He’s a loud Badger primary: the only thing that matters is keeping his family out of danger, and from his perspective Tarzan is a problem from day one. He is too obviously an outsider, not a true member of the community, and Kerchack makes it clear that Tarzan is not his son. “You can’t learn to be one of us," he says.

The antagonist for the second half of the film (it’s a weirdly structured film) is the Jaguar/Clayton. They are 100% the same entity. Clayton shows up immediately after the Jaguar dies, and shows up wearing the exact same color palette. There is a recurring misunderstanding where Tarzan refers to the sound of a gunshot as “Clayton.” This is not supposed to be a person, this is violence personified.

Clayton is also our visual representation of The British Empire/Colonialism, with his spats and his khakis and little pencil mustache, and Brian Blessed doing his voice. He is there to grab the resources (gorillas) and take them back to England. So… that means we’ve got some more Toxic Badger going on here too.

In this film, the Badger primary idea of “community” is framed as stifling, artificial, at odds with nature. Clayton, Jane, and Jane’s father show up in the jungle dressed all wrong, and while the sympathetic Porters gradually shed layers, Clayton’s character design never changes. He does not learn to adapt to the jungle, he is only England™

There’s also the recurring joke of Jane’s “Proper Victorian Lady” persona. It’s very useful for getting Clayton specifically to do things for her… but she also brings it out in moments where it seems false and not terribly appropriate. Like when she’s talking to monkeys, or to Tarzan. The second she realizes that Tarzan can speak English she snaps into “Proper Victorian Lady” instead of following up on the attraction that’s clearly there. She’s holding him at arm's length, and why??? The moment where he comes out dressed in European clothing is bittersweet, like Tarzan is hiding or losing part of himself. “Society” is at odds with instinct/freedom/love, and in terms of Primary, that’s the major conflict between Tarzan and Jane.

JANE. Tarzan, you can't imagine what's in store for you. You're going to see the world. Everyone's going to want to meet you. Kings, scientists and famous writers. (...)  TARZAN. And I'll be with Jane.

Jane is talking like a Badger (you’ll be part of the community.) Tarzan is talking like a Snake (I’ll be with you.) And Jane DOES feel like a Badger through most of the movie. She talks a good game. But right at the end - when it really comes down to it - that’s not the call she makes. 

JANE. I belong in England, with you and people and — PROFESSOR PORTER. But you love him. Go on.

At which point Jane joyfully jumps off the boat and swims to shore, implying that her Badger primary was a model, and she was always a Snake primary underneath. 

Jane Porter might model Double Badger extremely well, but she’s actually a double Snake like Megara. She’ll go all Proper Victorian Lady to flatter Clayton, but she’ll also manipulate the baby monkey (“Oh I can’t believe you fell for that one”) before commenting on how its performance isn’t quite up to her standards (“Don’t give me those crocodile tears.”) She’s also something of a Single-Player Environment snake. When she gets comfortable, she starts learning how to use the things in her environment. She’s delighted when she learns she can use her parasol as a weapon. Jane also seems to pick up that Tarzan is a Bird secondary, and interacts with him accordingly. She puts together an entire slideshow of buildings and customs and art from the mainland, and he is riveted.

(Tarzan is definitely a Bird secondary: he's an inventor, he makes weapons, he loves teaching himself things. He’s much more tactical than Kerchak, who uses his lion secondary to literally charge into fights. Phil Collins tells us all we need to know about Tarzan with the lyrics: “I want to know / Can you show me?” Perfect Snake Bird anthem.)

When we see Jane at the very end of the film she’s entirely improvisational and fluid, surfing the vines with Tarzan, the two of them so in sync and moving together so beautifully. It’s a gorgeous bit of animation. I definitely get a sense of the joy she feels at being so unconstrained and evenly matched, which is  another thing that makes me say Snake secondary.

KIDADIKASH  “KIDA” NEDAKAH (2001)

(& Milo, King Kashekim)

Atlantis is so close to being a really good movie. All it needs is a slightly longer runtime, and like… two less characters. (Mole and Cookie. Don’t need them.) Kida gets comparatively little screen time compared to some of the other ladies on this list, but she has enough presence and a cool enough design that she easily earns heroine status. It also helps that she’s basically the plot.

Kida wants to restore the traditions and knowledge her people have lost, and that motivates pretty much everything she does. She finds the history and culture of her ancestors deeply important, comforting and grounding in a very Badger primary sort of way, and laments that “We were once a great people. Now we live in ruins. The kings of our past would weep if they could see how far we have fallen.” She is very much not Jane, who needs to shake off “civilization” in order to live her best life. 

The problem though, is that Kida falls into a very Badger primary trap. When she’s asked to give up everything to protect the group - including her well-being and identity - she does it without a second thought. She gets turned/turns herself into a magic crystal in order to power her civilization while it’s under threat, and I cannot think of a better metaphor of what it means to be an Invisible Badger, who is only the group with no identity outside it.

The ‘Heart of Atlantis’ crystal that “thrives on the collective emotions of all who came before us [and] in return, provides power, longevity, protection” is just a good metaphor for a ‘Badger Primary’ in general. Also, the way that the Atlantean King tries to weaponize it, ultimately destroying his civilization, is a good metaphor for the way a Badger primary can Explode, becoming authoritarian and harmful to the same people it is trying to protect.

Clearly the film itself is not a fan of this decision, as our protagonist Milo loves Kida and does everything he can to un-crystal her. I think it’s implied that his love is one of the main things tethering her to humanity? Still, I would say that this film, unlike Tarzan, has a pretty Badger ethos. King Kashekim is our tragic misguided Snake primary, willing to let his whole civilization crumble so long as he gets to keep his daughter, and our villains seem to be mostly Hedonist Snake treasure hunters, willing to destroy a culture so long as they get paid. The film is definitely critical of certain types of Badger primaries, but ends on a note of collectivism. Milo has finally found a community that values him, and he stays behind to help Kida, now the Atlantean Queen, rebuild her civilization. She’s still a Badger, just one with better boundaries. 

She’s also a Lion secondary. Kida moves in straight lines, speaks her mind, and doesn’t care if you have a problem with that. She does the thing where she’s so honest and blunt it’s almost rude. I suspect that her father is also a Lion secondary - we know that he was reckless and militaristic when he was young, and he seems positive that if Kida even knew about the Heart of Atlantis, she would make the Lion secondary call and dive headfirst into it. Sadly, in the main timeline of the movie the King’s secondary is extremely burned, and he’s basically incapable of any kind of action. 

Milo has an idealistic Lion primary that is a bit Burnt at the start of the film. When we meet him, he’s spent years being told that everything he believes is a joke, and he’s finally starting to doubt himself, scraping by just using his Bird secondary. Like a lot of Burnt Lions, Milo latches onto someone (Kida) for their confidence and their purpose. Luckily, once he unBurns his primary there's a Paragon Lion underneath there that matches up very well with her Badger.

LILO PELEKAI (2002)

Lilo is an interesting one to sort, because she’s little - and also kinda going through it. Her parents died in a (fairly recent) car crash, and even though they’re not *on screen* and honestly mentioned very little… their absence is felt. Lilo's unofficial family motto is “Ohana means family, family means nobody gets left behind.” But objectively, Lilo’s parents did her behind, and she spends the entire film trying to reconcile that.

Lilo is very young, dealing with a tragedy, and I also think the interpretation that she’s on the autism spectrum makes a lot of sense. We see her having meltdowns, struggling to transition from one activity/location to another, she clearly wants to make these connections with kids her own age, but it’s just… not working out. All of that could absolutely point to a five (six?) year old on the spectrum. So the question becomes - okay, so is Lilo acting this way because that’s her personality, or is she acting this way because of the autism/trauma? That's a question I get a lot, and my answer is… I don’t think the traits this system is interested in are created out of nowhere. But, circumstances can absolutely make them louder or softer. 

Like, Lilo has a number of very strict rules that tip over into magical thinking. She can only eat peanut butter sandwiches because she has to feed part of her sandwich to her fish, and she can’t feed her fish tuna (dead fish) because that’s “an abomination.” It’s very important that she keeps her fish happy because he controls the weather. And THAT’S important… because her parents died in a rainstorm. All of this is 100% a coping mechanism: Lilo is trying to create rules in a chaotic world to feel safer. She’s after a sense of control. This also ties into her fascination with 'goodness' versus 'badness:' she’ll say things like “I’ll be good I promise,” worry about being an “abomination,” and make voodoo dolls because “my friends need to be punished.”  It’s something she's focused on, and I think it’s because she is aware that… she’s kind of a problem.  

Her older sister Nani loves her… but Nani also loses her patience (she’s 21, 22 at most) and Lilo is aware that she stresses out her sister and makes her life more difficult. But, she has trouble changing her behavior because she's, you know, a traumatized autistic six-year-old. Which is really important when it comes to understanding Lilo’s relationship with Stitch. On one level, she identifies the way he leaves all this destruction in his wake. He makes her look better by comparison, and I think she also sees a path towards redemption in teaching Stitch to be “good” (ie - useful and less weird.) When she tells him “You wreck everything you touch, why not try to make something” - I think she’s projecting, and really talking about herself. If Lilo is teaching Stitch to be good, then she has a purpose, and a way to affect the world. We know that feeling powerless is a big thing for Lilo. 

So, if I’m putting her in the SHC system, she is definitely an External primary. None of this is about being true to your heart or even being true to another person, this is trying to figure out the rules of the world and putting together a workable system to live with. This focus on morality and punishment is also something I see a lot with young External primaries. While this trait might have been exaggerated by the events of Lilo's life, I do think it’s something that was just in her the whole time. 

At first I thought she was a Badger, because of the way Lilo focuses on the importance of family. Also, her first instinct is to outgroup Stitch when she thinks he betrayed her: “You’re one of them - get out of here.” But “Ohana means family” seems like it was something her parents said a lot, and ‘Stitch isn’t one of us,’ is something she’s heard from Nani (absolutely a Badger primary.) I think a big reason Lilo values hula dancing is because hula dancing is important to Nani.

So now I’m leaning towards Lilo being a young Bird, trying to cobble together a system for understanding the world under non-ideal circumstances. She’s very comfortable believing fantastical things, and is cool with accepting that Stitch is a weird kind of dog. Like Atlantis, Lilo and Stitch is lightly critical of that Badger ethos: the group is wonderful, yes - but the group will not always be there. The conclusion Lilo (and the film) comes to is ‘Ohana means family, family means never getting left behind… but sometimes people leave. Either because they want to, or because they have to. What you have to do is remember them. You make them part of yourself. As Lilo puts it, "I’ll remember you, though. I remember everyone that leaves." I think this is such a lovely way of understanding Bird primaries, which unfortunately have a reputation for being cold and detached.

In terms of secondary, I think Lilo is probably a Lion. She’s very direct, very honest, terrible at lying, and unintentionally trails destruction. Nani tries to give her a kind of script to follow when the social worker comes over - but even in the moment she seems to know it’s kind of a lost cause. However, Lilo is also really young and the narrative doesn’t give her the opportunity to solve many problems. So I would not be surprised if Lilo's secondary looks different when she gets older. She is fascinated by Stitch, and Stitch is a shapeshifter-mimic. He’s kind of a cartoon version of a Snake secondary. Maybe that's a clue that Lilo's best self is a Snake Secondary too, but she hasn’t built a bridge to that part of herself yet. Eh, I could see it either way. Definitely an Improvisational secondary though.

NANI PELEKAI (2002)

Nani is a very Burnt Badger primary. There’s this recurring thing with her and her love interest David, where they’re kinda dating, or were dating… either way, Nani can’t quite bring herself to let him into her life. Even though she likes him, he likes her, and he even gets along with Lilo. She spends a lot of the film looking like she’s 100% focused on her little sister in a Snake primary way… but Burnt Badgers look like miserable, stressed-out Snakes, and that is absolutely Nani. She clearly used to have a big community - at one point she even tries to leverage it for a job. But I think she responded to the death of her parents by closing up, refusing to let anyone new close to her. She might lose them too, and that would hurt too much. 

This film is also really good at putting Nani in situations that would be really rough on a Badger primary specifically. Nani clearly feels deeply connected to her Hawaiian culture - she’s an accomplished hula dancer, she loves surfing, and in the most heartbreaking scene of the movie she sings “Aloha Oe” to Lilo, when she thinks child protective services are going to take her away in the morning. This is famously a song written by deposed Hawaiian Queen Liliʻuokalani, after she was forced to leave her people. These are all things that Nani pulls on to give her strength. However… she is also working as an honestly quite objectified waitress/hula dancer in a theme park-ified version of Hawaii catering to tourists. She’s clearly not happy there, and it's an important moment when she leaves. 

Even when she’s in really serious trouble, Nani can’t bring herself to tell anyone what’s going on, to get help or even just emotional support - and that's the Burnt Badger talking. When she is absolutely at her wit’s end and has no idea what to do, she grabs David and she grabs Lilo and they all go surfing. It’s that Badger primary need for community, even if there’s no way that community is going to help.

Nani is probably a Bird secondary. She practices when she's nervous and has a lot of skills - but is much more overwhelmed during the wacky finale than Lilo, and definitely needs a second to get it together and figure out the situation. She conceptualizes ‘dealing with Lilo’ as a skill that she has learned and gotten better at: she’ll build little ‘traps’ to catch her younger sister, and can translate things into “Lilo.” I think she may have constructed a bit of an Actor Bird model for dealing with Lilo (and another for dealing with her boss.) Lilo will use bits of her system to argue with Nani, and clearly expects this strategy to work.  

LILO. Ohana means family. Family means no one gets left behind, or forgotten.  NANI. I hate when you use ‘ohana’ against me.

CAPTAIN AMELIA SMOLLET (2002)

If Nani and Kida's share a deep connection their cultural history, Captain Amelia and Kida share this incredibly direct, blunt, borderline rude Lion secondary. Only Amelia's is is less 'cultural misunderstanding' and more just... British.

Captain Amelia absolutely rubs Jim Hawkins and Doctor Doppler the wrong way at first (an occupational hazard of being a very loud Lion secondary.) But she also comes off as extremely trustworthy. Amelia is a version of Robert Louis Stevenson’s Alexander Smollett (just also a cat girl, and in space) and this bit from Treasure Island suits Treasure Planet equally well: “Contrary to all my notions, I believe you have managed to get two honest men on board with you, that man [Captain Smollet] and John Silver.” 

Of course, Captain Amelia wins over Jim and Doppler once they understand that she wants her crew to be equally direct right back at her. She wants all the information, as quickly as possible, so she can make the best decisions. Her eyes light up when Doppler tells her she’s wrong about how supernovas work... because she’s able to use the new knowledge to create a daredevil way to escape the situation. Near the end of the film, Jim comes up with a crazy solution that involves a piece of alien tech. He knows how the tech works, doesn’t have time to explain it. But because they’ve had enough practice being honest with each other, Amelia just does what he says - no questions asked.

This is also why she gets so offended when John Silver tries to flatter her… and Silver’s good at flattering. He’s good at telling people what they want to hear. But Amelia tells him to “keep that kind of flim-flammery for your space court floozies” because of course the two captains on opposite sides of the mutiny are foils. Silver charms Jim, makes him feel special. Captain Amelia tells him point-blank when he’s being an idiot and gives him no special treatment. The nuanced position this film takes is that Jim… kinda needs both. 

In this movie about treasure hunting, Captain Amelia is the only person who doesn’t seem to care about the “Loot of a Thousand Worlds.” She is here to do her job. Her speech at her First Mate’s funeral makes her priorities very clear: “Mr. Arrow was a fine spacer. Finer than most of us can ever hope to be. But he knew the risks, as do we all. Resume your posts. We carry on.” Her highest praise is that Arrow did his job well... and part of doing your job well is making peace with the fact that you might not make it out alive. She takes her job, her title, and her ship extremely seriously. 

So, Amelia is definitely an Idealist primary, and her Cause seems to revolve around being the best Captain possible and… going on adventures. This is also the case with Doppler, who she ends up with at the end. He frames his treasure-hunting trip in very Badger primary language when he’s talking to Jim’s very Badger Primary mom… but in reality he just wants to go on an adventure. 

I could honestly see either Lion or Bird primary for Amelia. But, the fact that she’s ex-military and still in good enough standing to write Jim a recommendation letter makes me lean Bird. (I think a Double Lion Amelia would have burned more bridges.) Also, the rules and organizational system she lives by seem to exist outside of her in a very Commodore Norrington sort of way. It’s not something she feels internally, and this is comforting. Honestly, Amelia gives off very Commodore Norrington energy in general, and he’s a pretty loud Bird primary. 

HELEN "ELASTIGIRL" PARR (2004)

( & Bob/Mr. Incredible, Edna Mode)

Helen’s superpower is ‘flexibility,’ so of course she’s going to be an Improvisational secondary. I'm going with Lion instead of Snake because - like Captain Amelia and Kida - Helen is very comfortable being incredibly direct. She actively sets up confrontations, waiting in the dark for Bob after he stays out late with Frozone, then actually getting in a plane to confront him when she thinks that he’s having an affair.

Bob Parr is also a Lion secondary, and unlike Helen (who is able to turn down the volume during Dash's parent-teacher conference) he has trouble even softening what he says, phrasing something in a way that’s palatable to the person he’s talking to. That trait gets him in trouble with Buddy/Syndrome, then his boss at the insurance company, and there’s also the implication that the government keeps relocating them because Bob keeps blowing their cover. (This is 100% the case in a cut scene set at a neighborhood barbecue where Bob appears to cut off a finger, and instead breaks the knife.) 

I also think the fact that Helen and Bob are both Lion secondaries is a big part of what makes their relationship functional. Lion secondaries seem to really value the opportunity to have arguments and fights… while also knowing the interaction is fundamentally safe, and isn’t going to spill over into the other parts of their life. When Bob gets back late, he and Helen fight in a way that honestly just seems like their way of blowing off steam. They’re both able to turn it off completely when the kids walk into the room. 

Helen also calls herself out for “overreacting” and has to force herself to take a moment to think when she first figures out that Bob is lying, a very Lion secondary moment. She gives Violet the insanely Lion secondary advice that “When the time comes, you’ll know what to do. It’s in your blood.” Edna Mode is also a cartoonishly loud Lion secondary, and I'll bet that shared secondary is a big part of the reason she adores the Parrs. Also, Helen loves her motorcycles, which at least in fiction are very Lion-secondary coded.

Helen’s flexibility extends to her primary as well. When we first meet Elastigirl in the “documentary” prologue, she’s completely happy doing the superhero thing while Mr. Incredible is already thinking about settling down. But, in the main timeline of the movie, Helen seems perfectly happy doing the suburbia thing and raising the kids. Then in the sequel, after the Deavors convince her that she can do the most good by being a poster child for non-threatening Supers, she has a fantastic time doing that. The fact that she’s able to change her worldview so easily without having a big emotional crisis about it (the way that Bob does) makes me think she’s probably a Bird primary. That difference in primaries seems to be where most of the friction in their relationship comes from. 

Helen actually tells us her philosophy in the sequel: “If laws are unjust there are laws to change them, otherwise it’s chaos” and “World is what it is, we have to adapt.” It’s a bit Badger flavored - work within the system, adapt to the system - but the way she lays it out is Bird. And then she gets a little tipsy and starts debating philosophy with the villain for fun. Which is a very Bird primary activity.

VIOLET PARR (2004)

(& Dash)

Violet feels very at odds with both her family and her world… and since she’s a Badger primary, that’s especially rough. She wants to fit into a community, but there is no community for her. She’s the only member of the family who actively does not want her powers: “We act normal, Mom! I want to be normal (...) What do you know about normal? What does anyone in this family know about normal?” We also get the line, “Mom and Dad’s lives might be in danger, or worse - their marriage.” Which is definitely a joke about Violet’s slightly cartoonish Badger primary priorities. 

It makes absolute sense that she’s so hung up on the idea of popular dreamboat Tony, at the center of so much community. It’s exactly what she wants. And because she herself is very not normal, she tries to hide - both with her superpower and with her hair. Violet is the first computer animated character who wears their hair long and loose, and the animators put in the effort because it’s so tied in with her character. As she gets more and more in tune with her family over the course of the film, the way Violet wears her hair changes. Her mom tucks it behind her ear, her dad comments that he likes this new way she’s wearing it better. She eventually pushes it back with a headband because she’s not hiding from them anymore. Violet is happy and effective being a part of the superhero team that is her family. It’s interesting that her powers (invisiblity, creating force-fields around herself) are incredibly useful support and team-attack powers, but not that useful on their own.

However, another source of friction between Violet and the rest of the family is the fact that she’s the only one who isn’t a Lion secondary. Her little brother Dash absolutely is. (He’s probably a Double Lion like his father, they’ve both even got a little of that Glory Hound Lion primary thing.) But Violet’s powers keep her out of sight, the opposite of confrontational. It took me a second to recognize her as a Snake secondary, because most fictional Snakes are much more comfortable around people…  but Violet is also in a less-than-ideal situation. Still, she is smart and observant, good at picking up on what’s going on around her, and using those things to solve problems. It’s her idea to track down Syndrome using the coordinates he’s put in the rocket, and in the sequel she’s the one who figures out how to use Jack Jack like a gun, then successfully turns the out-of-control ship around.

Violet is sneaky, and uses her abilities to spy on her parents, and to stow away on her mom's trip. She doesn’t like using her snake secondary at other people - she’s a very self-contained person - but she is more than happy to direct it out at the world. Violet is also perceptive when it comes to people, and will often just come right out and say things like “Are we going to talk about it… the elephant in the room” or “I think Dad has made some excellent progress today, but I think it’s time we wind down now.”

Tl;dr

Jane ~  Snake / Snake, models Badger / Badger

Tarzan ~ Snake / Bird

Kerchack ~ Badger / Lion 

Kida ~ Badger / Lion 

King Kashekim ~ Snake / Burnt Lion 

Milo ~ Burnt Lion / Bird

Lilo ~ Bird / Lion (possibly Bird / Snake) 

Nani ~ Burnt Badger / Bird

Captain Amelia ~ Bird / Lion 

Helen/Elastigirl ~ Bird / Lion

Violet ~ Badger / Snake

Dash ~ Lion / Lion 

Bob/Mr. Incredible ~ Lion / Lion

Edna Mode ~ Bird / Lion 

(art credit to Cursed Concepts for the beautiful pins I have used to illustrate this series. They're actually having a charity sale right now (December 27th-30th) to benefit Make A Wish, so head on over if you like their style and want to maybe snag a deep cut like Jane, Giselle, or Eilonwy.)

[cinnaleaf]

For the Racists Hiding in Anon: Log Off or Step the Fuck Up

Let’s have a chat!!! Because some of you seem to need a very CLEAR and LOUD wake up call about the way you conduct yourselves in fandoms.

Quite frankly, the racism running rampant in fandom spaces is disgusting and embarrassing. We shouldn’t have to keep circling back on this topic just because people insist on showing how truly uneducated and bigoted they are.

To the racists hiding behind anonymous accounts to send racist messages to others..I find you to be absolutely simpleton and pathetic. You’re not clever, funny, or even giving the read you think you are – so I’ll do you one better 😇 I think you’re a parroting bird that loves to hear yourselves chirp. You would never do this in public because you know the consequences it has. So why are y’all so suddenly bold online?? Your anonymity on the internet will not save you from being a pea brained buzzard hiding behind a screen. It only proves you lack the educational substance to inform yourselves of biases and at the very least correct it – it’s really the least you could do, seeing as black people live rent free in your mind.

Secondly, Trent is a black man. He’s not some token for you to project your racist fantasies onto. Regardless of his antics, this man has black ancestors, family members, and friends who are black. Thinking you can simultaneously froth and feen over him, read my fics, and send microaggressions and blatant racist hatred to other black women in this space is pure cognitive dissonance. Trent doesn’t want you. He never will. Even if you do feel that you fit his publicly conceived ‘preferences’. He’d take one look at your vitriol and be just as disgusted as we are. Sit with that and ponder.

I started writing fics because I wanted to create stories that are fun, reflect my experiences, and to connect with like minded people in the football space. My blog will ALWAYS be a safe space for black people, queer people, disabled people, women, and anyone else who understands what it means to be marginalized. If you cannot handle that, if my existence (and others) somehow offends you – this space is not for you. I don’t want you reading my fics. I don’t want you lurking on my blog. I don’t want you interacting with other black bloggers and people of color. And I definitely don’t want you bringing your racism into a fandom space that’s meant to be a fun refuge for people like me.

Your microaggressions don’t move me. Your overt racism doesn’t scare me. All it does is prove that your ignorance is a vast wasteland – you should honestly be embarrassed by that. And to be real, I refuse to make this space a comfortable place for you. If you want a space to spew your nonsense, find it elsewhere (where you’ll probably be banned) because it won’t be here. You’re not welcome here and I’ll brick the wall you try to crash into every time you attempt to make this an unsafe space for others. Maybe then you’ll understand what your hostility feels like when you dish it to others. 

And to anyone who’s been on the receiving end of this bullshit – your frustrations and exhaustions are 100% valid. This corner of the internet belongs to you just as much as anyone else, and you should feel free to make it safe for yourself in whatever you deem fitting. I don’t want anyone holding their breath before scrolling because of these people. Do not allow them to poison your safe space with utter nonsense, it’s YOURS.

I have only been active here for a few months after lurking for years, but in that short time I’ve connected with some really amazing people over these blood pressure inducing games, silly men, and just life in general. That’s what this space was meant for and I refuse to let anyone take that away from us. If you feel like this space has become more stress than it’s worth, I totally understand and would suggest taking a break if you need to, but your presence and perspectives will always be welcome to me and many other like minded individuals who aren’t smooth brained.

Anyway, I say all this to say I will not let someone else’s hatred exist here and I’m actively working on making sure these people are weeded out entirely. Make them uncomfortable, they deserve it.

If this bothers you racists in anyway, step the fuck up without anon being on so I can really give you the read you so desperately deserve.

x

[turnmyheadupsidedown]

Young royals faves fest

This year I’ve been tracking my reading and I have some favorites from the 499 fics I’ve read. So why not share them now during @youngroyals-events faves fest?

There are an insane amount of amazing yr fics on ao3 and this is only some of my favorites from what I’ve read this year (sadly didn’t track last year..)

one hundred and seventeen

by thatgayprince (@prince-simon) E 15k

Wille celebrates his birthday in Vegas, courtesy of Maddie, where he runs into Lady Gaga's background dancer

Let’s start with a classic (for me). This one has a special place in my heart. I think this was one of my first fics that included some kind of gender/trans/non binary/fluid and I was so reluctant to read it because of that and now I love it.

Constellations of Love

by Spidaya (@simons-purplehoodie) M 80k

An enemies to lovers & fake dating story, with focuses on Simon’s struggle to keep his family afloat despite his father’s abuse and addiction, and Wille’s trauma and anxiety from childhood to adulthood, heavily based on the book “They Hate Each Other” by Amanda Woody

This is for those of you who want to feel when you read. I cried multiple times both times I read it this year.

forever i'm yours

by goldenwilmon (@goldenwilmon) E 22k

Simon takes a chance when he sees Wilhelm from afar at a party on a January night, sparking an instant connection between them. They spend a year falling in love.

You wanna have some good feelings? This is for you! According to my notes it’s “so fucking cute and lovely”

Little Light

by unfortunate17 (@unfortunate17) E 22k

Wilhelm never returned to Hillerska after winter break. Ten years later, Simon watches him come out on national television. Then, they reconnect.

Simon is not okay. It will hurt and you need to take care of yourself while reading this.

Is It Over Now?

by itsme_hi_imtheproblem (@iwouldnevergetintofanfic) E 75k

It's clear from the start that Crown Prince Wilhelm and Simon Eriksson, member of world-famous boyband sensation HIGH 5, don't have a future. Against all odds and under scrutiny from media, management and the royal court, they still try - and fail to preserve their fragile relationship.

It's over.

Until Simon decides to release three songs, ten years later. Three songs about Wilhelm. Times have surely changed, but so have they. Both of them struggle with the strong emotions that reappear. Are they just memories? Or are things not quite as over as they thought?

Buckle up, because this will be an intense ride! The angst level is high but it is worth it, so worth it!

In Another Life

by embracedthevoid (@embracedthevoid) E 100k

Wilhelm and Simon stumble back into each other's lives and decide to give themselves one last night together.... or so they thought it would be their last night.

Wilhelm never returned to Hillerska after winter break, and he has spent his entire life regretting it. Nearly a decade later, he runs into Simon. He had hoped he'd successfully moved on from his feelings after all these years, but clearly, he was wrong. The two spend a passionate night together, expecting it to be their last. That is until it happens a second time when the two come arrangement that suits both their needs. Friends with benefits? No, they'd have to actually be friends for that to be the case.

Complicated feelings and really good smut? Yes please!

Fools in a Fable

unfortunate17 (@unfortunate17) E 39k

Simon, a journalist at a left-wing magazine, eagerly accepts the chance of a lifetime to write a scathingly honest piece about the newly crowned King Wilhelm, who has a history shrouded in parties, drugs, and gay allegations. His plans, however, go to shit when he realizes that Wilhelm is nothing like he expected.

You wanna read almost 40k with the constant feeling of “shit will hit the fan really fucking soon”? This is for you!

The bro-tap

itsme_hi_imtheproblem (@iwouldnevergetintofanfic) M 5k

What if Wille bro-tapped Simon a little too hard after rowing practice in S1E2?

We will end this list with a short one shot which is both funny and very beautiful. I’d say this is my favorite first time-fic.

[owlelite]

Magnolia was alive with interactions this fine afternoon. Usually the rainbow blossom festival was held for all sorts of different reasons. The season simply brung out the best in the inhabitants and today of all days was a special one. The entire square under the tree was taken up by the fairy tail guild members. Dressed in various formal wear as Levy tangled with Gajeel trying to figure out how to fix his tie. Today they were celebrating the love of two people… Lucy and Natsu.

Of course they’d all known it was coming even if it had taken years for the two to admit that they were in love. Secretly Lucy had become pregnant and she had even yet to tell Natsu of this fact. Instead her concentration was on this event as she hid behind the dressing area where Lisanna and mirajane had been helping her prepare.

“Do I Look okay, please tell me I look okay.” Lucy paced as she stared out at the crowd, her guild mates and any of their friends and family who had wanted to come. Lucy was feeling her nerves at an all time high.

“What if he blows up the alter, what if…” Lucy began until Lisanna grabbed her shoulders and turned her. The white wedding dress swaying as she went.

“You will be FINE Lucy stop worrying so much. This is supposed to be the happiest moment of your life no. Natsu may be a knucklehead but I don’t think he’d ruin your wedding like that.” Lisanna brushed Lucy’s hair with her fingers letting the golden strands fall gently against Lucy’s shoulders. As Lucy took a deep breath she peeked out again. She could see Natsu at the alter next to makarov and Erza. As Erza had been the one to insist she marry the two. He was smiling in his fancy suit although he looked a bit odd with his scarf wrapped around his neck. It made her smile, it was something he just couldn’t leave behind…. But what even more caught her attention was the small rainbow colored petals falling around him almost like a spotlight.

“It’s starting, come on bride to be we don’t want to keep everyone waiting.” Mirajane said gently as the music began to play….

Natsu felt nervous and he didn’t know why. He’d been joking around with Erza and Makarov as he waited for the ceremony to start. When the music started everyone had taken their place and he anxiously shifted on his feet at the alter. Staring up at the large cherry blossom tree above them. Erza looked at him with a smile.

“Smile Natsu, trust me when I say you won’t regret this.” She encouraged gently as Natsu chuckled and turned when he saw Lucy being led out by Lisanna and Mirajane. Her wedding dress was beautiful and all of a sudden it felt like he had tunnel vision. The rainbow colored petals perfectly illuminated her gold and white wedding dress. Natsu felt his breath catch in his throat watching the nervous but happy expression on her face as she walked down the isle. He stood up straighter and grinned. Urging people to look for his friends to see how beautiful she looked today.

Then she was standing right in front of him. Holding flowers that she passed to Lisanna as she took her place off to the side.

“Are the two of you ready?” Erza asked. “Because if so, go ahead and say your vows.” She urged as Natsu looked at Lucy.

“Mind if I go first?” He asked as Lucy looked at him with surprise, raising an eyebrow. He gently took her hands in his and gently rubbed his fingers over her knuckles.

“Lucy, it may not have seemed like I was interested in you in the beginning. I think I knew what I was doing when I invited you to the guild. Every day you’re beauty shines through just like the stars you see every night. While I may not understand it, seeing it through your eyes fills me with this funny warm feeling I can’t quiet describe. Every adventure, every heartbreak, everything we’ve gone through with the guild surrounded by our friends, I hope it never ends. I promise I’ll continue to protect you for the rest of my life, as husband and wife.” Natsu’s eyes glittered with emotion. As he watched Lucy try to hold back tears from her eyes. The rainbow cherry blossoms bloomed around them in fervor. The wind picking up the petals in multi colored swirls with the couple.

“Natsu, you might be a little reckless. You might be a little thick skulled, but you’ve always had my back. I love the way you move, the way you smell, the way you fight for fairy tail and most of all how you love me. I promise to be by your side, through hard times and good ones, for the sake of us and our child.” Lucy gently grabbed his hand and placed it on her stomach. His eyes widened in surprise as the rest of fairy tail gasped in excitement.

“Natsu, you may now kiss the bride.” Erza had urged after she finished the ceremony. Natsu leaned forward, all inhibition gone as his fingers cupped Lucy’s cheek. Kissing her softly on her lips as she leaned into him, her fingers curling into his chest with the feeling of warmth that surrounded them. The guild cheered, rainbow blossoms and people jumping out of their chairs as Natsu broke the kiss and the two turned to the guild with a smile. Natsu waved and laughed, honestly, this had to be the best moment in his life.

Natsu and Lucy getting married under the blooming rainbow cherry blossoms, btw.

[tedwardremus]

2024 Year In Review

This year I came back to fandom with a vengence I never knew was possible.

I published 336,619 words to AO3 in 2024 (This doesn't count my tumblr only fics/drabbles which is crazy to think about. )

I made Harry Potter Social Media AUs and moodboards

Had some fun with House Elf Hotties, ToadButter, and the @nenaandmeldetectiveagency

But most importantly this year has brought me new friends. I would tag you all and thank you for a wonderful year but I would be too embarssed and ashamed if I missed anyone. Please know that I love all of you and thank you for making this year fun.

In 2025 I look forward to finishing the Remadora Lighthouse AU, starting the sequel to Rage Against the Dying of the Light and continue my First War one shot series about the members of the Order of the Pheonix.

My 2024 fan fic review below the cut:

Rage Against The Dying Of The Light - In a universe where James and Lily Potter survive Voldemort’s attack on Halloween night. Most of wizarding society is enjoying newfound peace after a decade of war, except the young heroes who fought the war learn you can never really go back to the way things were before

Padfoot in Privet Drive - Sirius Black follows Harry to Privet Drive after the Triwizard Tournament.

Querencia - The time Lily, James, and Harry spent as a family in their little house in the West Country was far too brief, but it was overfilled with love, laughter, and, above all, life.

30 Times James Potter Thought He Was Going To Die and 1 Time He Did  - 31 microfics for Jilytober

It’s here. Now’s the time. I tell myself I’ll be fine -

It was a normal feeling to be nervous, a rite of passage for any mother or father. After all, eleven years old wasn’t that mature—children at that age were still so small, so dependent on their parents for guidance, comfort, and care.

Hope Lupin hugs her son goodbye before he boards the Hogwarts Express.

Interesting House Guests - (Or The time Sirius invited the lads to spend the week at Grimmauld Place)

Tipping The Scales - James helps Lily get back something that is hers from the Slytherin dorms.

Does Permanent Mean Forever? - It is James Potter’s seventeenth birthday, and to commemorate the occasion, he proposes to the gang that they go out and get tattooed.

Your Friend, James - It is the summer before their 7th year, and Lily and James spend the entire holiday writing letters to each other as their relationship slowly changes from friends to something more.

Rumor Has It  - Severus doesn’t believe the rumors that Lily finally agreed to go out with James Potter.

A Happy Thought - The 7th-year Defense Against the Dark Arts Class learns the Patronus Charm. James is shocked to learn what Lily’s Patronus is.

Awful Euphemisms- Lily and James exchange laughs while discovering a new level of intimacy.

An Academic Study of Dungeon Dwellers - It was common knowledge that when the weather turned warm, students were impossible to teach and used their precious free time to soak up the sun and enjoy the outdoors. Unless of course, you were the Girlfriendus Potterus, also known by her common name, Lily Evans, who—despite the migration of most students to the sun-drenched grounds—had yet to leave the castle’s confines.

The Office Party - Petunia hoped that staying in London for Christmas would make her seem important. She imagined her parents would talk about her endlessly, telling Lily all about her new, sophisticated life in the city. How big and important she’d become. She didn't imagine that she'd meet the love of her life while at the office Christmas party.

Three Lemons and a Dragon - Once upon a time there lived a Prince named James who had to save his father’s Kingdom by getting married. One day an older woman gifts him three lemons that will lead him to his true love.

Erasmus Lovegoods’s Guide to Brewing Love Potions -At the start of every school year, the Ministry of Magic distributed leaflets to all students taking potions classes regarding the regulations and legality of highly controlled potions.

I’ll Meet You After Dark - An Alternate Universe where the Statute of Secrecy hasn’t been enacted yet. Tensions between the magical and non-magical communities are high.

My dog said I can’t go out with you - Lily had been waiting patiently for James to ask her out for the first Hogsmeade weekend of the term. Sirius insists she turn James down so Sirius can hang out with her instead. (it’s all part of Sirius’ greater matchmaking plan)

Tranquil Solitude (Until You Came Along)- All Lily wanted to do was take a nice, quiet swim on a hot day. And then James Potter showed up. And Lily had already removed her clothes for the private swim.

Midnight Train To London - An escaped yeti causes a magical snow storm that leaves the Hogwarts Express stranded without any power. Head students Lily and James take charge and bring a little holiday cheer to the students trapped on the train.

Summer Fling Don’t Mean A Thing - Lily and James meet at a potions camp over the summer and have a fling. James promises to write to her when the summer is over, but he never does. Then Hogwarts hosts an academic competition inviting all the top students from around the country to attend, including students from Cockersand Coven Academy, the school that Lily happens to attend.

This Town Is Fake But You’re The Real Thing - Teen radio star Lily Evans works for a show on the wizarding wireless network called, The Marauders. The teen soap drama stars James Potter as an arrogant school jock and centers on the secret adventures of his friends in the forbidden forest as illegal animagus and a werewolf. The show’s antagonist, played by Severus Snape, left after a scandal, and now Lily has a romantic storyline with James in the final season of the show. Basically, her life is a disaster.

Field Study - Lily and James get left behind on a deserted island after A Care of Magical Creatures field trip.

These things that are pleasin’ you can hurt you somehow  - Lily is stuck in potions for a classroom disturbance she didn’t cause.

In walks James Potter who she had been avoiding all week.

White Winter Hymnals - Holiday themed jily snippets from age eleven to adulthood

Cuckoo (or the unwanted interloper baby in the nest)  - Sirius rescues Regulus from the cave and drops him off at the Potters house so he can clean up his brother’s mess. Regulus has an awful time…. until he doesn’t.

Katabasis- Snape gets hurt when he goes into the Shrieking Shack on the full moon. It is time for Remus to face the consequences.

Citius, Altius, Fortius – Communiter - Sirius is an Olympic athlete competing in the wizard pentathlon, James is a quidditch player, and Lily is a sports reporter. The three of them meet at the Olympic Village. And well, you know what happens at the Olympic Village…

Finding Your Magical Roots  - The Black Family welcomes the reality show Finding Your Magical Roots into their home to film a special episode.

101 Padfoots - An accident in potions class results in 101 Padfoots running around Hogwarts while Lily and James work together to round them all up

She Faced Danger, But Never Feared It  - Dorcas Meadowes is a healer at St. Mungo’s who specializes in emergency healing. A grandmother in her 60s who believes in caring for all members of the magical community. She is recruited by Albus Dumbledore to join the Order after she publishes and article in the Daily Prophet arguing that the rise of dark magic is a public health crisis.

When Death Would Not Come - Moody and the others will be here soon. Just endure for one more minute. Thirty more seconds. Five more seconds. As long as Neville was okay, she could endure anything.

Goodbyes and Surprise Greetings - Ginny’s brothers have abandoned her at the Burrow while they go to school or leave the country. But then she gets a surprise visitor.

The Past is a Bucket of Ash - Over burnt photographs, Harry had a late-night chat with Sirius about his family history.

Our Troubles Are Miles Away - “Would you like to unwrap your present?” she whispered into his ear, her voice low and teasing, yet so tender it made him ache.

He hesitated. He shouldn’t. He knew better.

(Remus and Tonks have a small Christmas celebration while everyone else is asleep at Grimmauld Place.)

To Guinevere - The New Year's Eve party at Grimmauld Place was a complete bore. But then Ginny walked into the room with a basket of homemade cards.

The Parting Glass - The last full moon, Moony and Padfoot spend together.

Retrouvaille (or the happiness of meeting someone you love after a long time)- The times Sirius and Harry reunited and the times they were forced to say goodbye.

Attinge - Harry shaves his head after the battle. Only Ginny understands why.

Secret Garden - Neville plants Hannah a secret garden on the roof of the Leaky Cauldron. She wants to show him how grateful she is for the gift.

Burnt Cookies - Hannah keeps burning cookies as she gets ready for the Leaky Cauldron’s Halloween party.

Luckily, Neville is there to comfort her.

Tinsel In Her Hair - Neville helps Hannah decorate the Leaky Cauldron for Christmas. He notices something shiny in her hair.

1994 Quidditch World Cup  - Harry wants only one thing for his fourteenth birthday: tickets to see the final match of the Quidditch World Cup. Well, two things if you count his sudden desire to kiss Ginny Weasley.

A Time To Mourn - Sirius Black, recently declared innocent by the Ministry of Magic, visits his godson on Halloween.

Feels Like Home To Me - Snippets inside the Potter family home

Werewolf Registration Act of 1947 - A history of magic essay helps Teddy understand his deceased father a littler bit better.

Tethered - Teddy and Vic discover the isolated and deserted Hogwarts boathouse to be the perfect place to be alone together.

It’s All About The Timing - James Sirius Potter has wanted to ask Ellie Longbottom out since he was twelve years old. Unfortunately, he can never get the timing right.

Know Your Roots- Albus Potter is unsure if helping Uncle Neville repot moonwort plants is part of detention or a lame attempt at godfather and godson bonding. It might be both.

Acting Professional - Teddy wants to see Victoire’s new office while at a work event.

Ginny’s Very Serious Investigation - When Luna casually mentions in the postscript of her latest letter that she got married, Ginny is not having it. Who the hell is Rolf Scamander, and why is Luna marrying him without any prior warning?

Snuffles & Son - Sirius raises Harry and opens a shop that specializes in repairing cursed artifacts and places protection wards on family heirlooms. One day, an Unspeakable from the Department of Mysteries walks in with a cursed artifact from his cousin’s confiscated Gringotts vault, requesting Sirius’s assistance.

Be Not Afraid Of Greatness - A collection of Frank Longbottom stories

Without A Trace - Babies don’t just disappear without a trace

The Lighthouse - There is an old fishing town off the jagged rocky coast covered in permanent fog and a broken lighthouse that is no longer able to bring ships safely to shore. Tonks travels to the forgotten place to record an episode of her popular podcast. Imagine Tonks' surprise when she arrives at the abandoned lighthouse and comes face to face with its kind yet lonely keeper—Remus.

[boyswanna-be-her]

I remember when I started watching Achievement Hunter many years ago, I was working at a very lonely newspaper job. Obviously part of what I loved about the channel was how I could live vicariously through their work friendships. I enjoyed getting parasocial about it and seeing them all out together at non-RT hangouts, having fun just because. But sometimes it would amplify how lonely I was, and while I so value my best individual friends, I just didn't have a community of friends like that. When I started watching, I was close to the age of the younger team members and I thought it was special how Geoff was significantly older than most of the team but it didn't feel that way at all in the dynamic. He was the boss and backbone but not bc he was oldest. And he was so fucking BELOVED. I was jealous of everyone involved because they enjoyed their time together so obviously and shared something I never thought I'd have.

So now that I'm the age Geoff was when I started watching, the channel doesn't exist anymore, and somehow without meaning to or realizing what was happening, I found the local community that I was so ACHING for back in those days. What got me thinking about it is that I threw together a very last minute hangout at a music jam for BFR's birthday and contacted a handful of our local friends to let them know in case they'd like to come through and say hi.

And they DID. We spent six HOURS at the spot where we landed because we were having so much fun. Twice as many people as I invited showed up (they invited friends and brought partners), which is the opposite of what has happened on birthdays of the past. The youngest person who came is almost 20 years younger than me but we still crack each other up and I don't feel like there's a weird age divide there. I kept looking around last night thinking holy shit these are my friends! These are people who want the best for me! People I can rely on!

I guess my whole point is that I never thought I was even CAPABLE as a person of having a local community of friends, let alone one that is so diverse and so down to clown at a moment's notice. All that shit that I loved vicariously through Achievement Hunter is just a thing I get to enjoy personally now and call on when I need it. I get to be my own Geoff, which was always an aspiration but never a thing I thought I'd DO. Having friends around the world is a blessing, and it sustains me. Having a partner is a blessing, and they help me build an amazing life each day. And now having a real family of friends in my city is an absolute blast. My heart is so full.

[deathmetalunicorn1]

Yandere Platonic Norse family with a young deity darling.

-You were the youngest member of the deities of the Norse Pantheon, a child in the eyes of all who have met you, and heavily protected.

-As the youngest, many members of your ‘family’ were very protective of you, Thor and Odin would make the heavens shake, Loki wouldn’t hesitate to attack anyone to keep you safe, and the Valkyries weren’t known as battle maidens for just any reason.

-You were naïve to how they treated others who came to the Norse Pantheon, with threats and dark glares if they were to notice you and ask about you. It wasn’t everyone, as there were some they could trust, like Hercules and Susanoo, who they believed were harmless, but still had a watchful eye put on them.

-It was people like Zeus who weren’t allowed around you, he couldn’t be trusted, and Odin had warned him numerous times to leave you be and not approach you, even if you’re with someone else- but Zeus did what he wanted.

-You liked playing with Hercules, who was always so gentle with you, and the Valkyries all approved of him, knowing that Hercules was honorable, but Brunnhilde did tell him that if Zeus ever tried to come around to speak with you, he was to take you and immediately leave.

-Hercules was a bit confused at this at first, but the more time he spent with you, the more protective he grew over you as well- you were a warm ray of sunshine, someone to be protected and loved, and powers, while still weak, were going to be extremely powerful one day, and he knew that a curious Zeus was a dangerous Zeus, and Hercules agreed to keep you safe, no matter what.

-It was a day where you were spending time with Susanoo and Hercules, the two of them sitting with you, discussing the different fighting styles and weapons used in the different pantheons after you had asked, seeing their weapons were different to the ones that Thor and Loki used.

-You heard a cheerful voice call out to you, “Y/N~~!” you looked up, seeing the funny old man that Big Sister Brunnhilde tells you to never talk to waving as he was trying to run over.

-Instantly Hercules had you up in his arms as he stood, keeping you out of harm’s reach as Susanoo stepped in front of the other warrior, a warning glare on his face, “That’s far enough, Lord Zeus.”

-Zeus pouted, his hands on his hips, “I wanted to talk to Y/N! You guys and Odin never lets me!” Susanoo glared slightly, “There is a reason behind that, if you have a problem, speak with Lord Odin.”

-Zeus pouted again, throwing a tantrum that he should be allowed to do whatever he wants, while you were staring wide eyed, surprised to see a grown up acting like a child.

-A deep quaking voice interrupted Zeus’ tantrum, “Zeus!” and you looked up, a smile appearing on your face, “Papa!” Odin didn’t respond to you, keeping his angry eye on Zeus, seeing that he had disobeyed him once again, seeking you out again.

-Zeus tried to explain himself, stammering in a panicked tone, not wanting to incur the wrath of Odin. You noticed someone else stepping up besides Susanoo and you smiled, seeing Thor, before Hercules shifted as Loki hugged the larger man from behind around his neck, ruffling your hair gently.

-Zeus backed into Thor who then immediately froze, turning to stare up in Thor in horror.

-Moments later Zeus was thrown out the window before it was shut by the angry Odin.

-The moment he turned back, his anger melted, hearing your little feet as he swept you into his arms, hugging you warmly.

-Your family and the ones who adored you, your friends, were going to protect you, always. No matter what.

[theadhddimsenion]

Some musings on the buckso family and self worth in the hellaverse.

I would like to note how all known members of the buckso family have (or likely have) severe self worth issues because between fizzes need to be good enough for mammon, barbies drug addiction and need to scapegoat her brother and blitzs well, everything self worth problems seem to be a buckso family tradition.

Let's start with the biggest example of the family scapegoat blitz. Anyone who has an once of media literacy can tell you that blitz has severe self hatred problems that have caused him to both intentionally and unintentionally destroy his life in a twisted self falling prophecy and cycle brought about by the abuse of his ratshit father!! His Need to both get the love and affection he was never given and simultaneous belief that he isn't worthy of it has caused a lot of problems for him and others, in certain pieces of concept art for cash we clearly see him giving blitz the creul nickname "disappoint-o" and threatening to kil himself if bltiz didn't do as he said another common and cruel tactic that emotional absuers like him often use alongside his weaponizing blitzs love for his mother. But while he may be the most egregious example due to being the scapegoat common of absuive familes, he isn't the only one.

In contrast to blitz being the family scapegoat fizz was the family golden child despite being adopted. Fizz seems to be a lot more mentally stable than his best friend but I wouldn't wouldn't be telling the truth if I said be was without his angst and traumas himself. In addition to being horrifically mutalited in the fire and lied to by cash he also seems to have a need to please his audience given how long he let mammon abuse him and I would like to note that fittingly for the lord of all greed and exploitation and one who is far from subtle with his sin mammons abuse of fizz is the most comically exaggerated in the entire franchise which is usually dead serious with such topics. We also see that fizz is quite quick to forgive considering how he forgive blitz even after being mutilated and likely was Willing to forgive Ozzie after he wasn't able too much to save his best friend and while this is certainly a noble trait it also has been a problem for him as he was obviously too willing to forgive mammons behavior at least at first and it's likely he could have some issues with forgiving cashes likely less than stellar parenting which while it was likely not as bad as the treatment blitz got he still likely instilled the idea that his worth was measured by what he could do for others rather than what he though it was that he did to blitz.

Now here's where we get more speculative as we don't have a lot of info on the women of the buckso family (accpet loona) so I'm going to have to make guess here.

Barbie to me strikes me as not really truly believing cashes lies at heart and on some subconscious level knows that she's living a lie but like many victims of tragedies before her feels it would be better to that someone be to blame for the fire than accept that what happened to her was nothing but a horrible coincidence because if things like that can just happen than she may not be strong enough to face the world. Even if she is just completely taken in by cashes lies and fully believes that her brother burned everything out of jealously that isn't exactly a better option for her as I think that if that is the route they take her charater they will have cash drunkley confess to everything then after they beat the crap out of the old fucker than I can easily see her breaking down as she beats herself up wasting her life and being a "failure" despite making it out for the fire the least burned because her brother and fizz had successful careers and people who loved them (and royalty no less!) And perhaps even being the hero of impkind if blitz really does become a martyr what was she? A pathetic drug addicted lover who wasted her life blaming her hero brother for something that wasn't his fault and blitz will get a moment where he will comfort her saying that he knows what it's like to hate and blame yourself and that he knows that whatever horrible things the voices in your head tell you you are never as bad as they say you are.

As for the mother of the twins Tila we never really got to know her or even hear her voice which blitz might not even remember but I would say anyone who was willing to marry cash buckso more than likely had some self worth issues.

As for the vile scumbag of a father and ringleader i have to say I personally doubt it but it is possible that cash is just one in a long line of shitheels who desperately try to make themselves feel better about themselves by collecting as much cash as possible.

And last but not least we have loona buckso who like fizz was adopted but given what we saw of her in the pound and how similar her and her adoptive father are I am willing to bet money that she has plenty of self hatred herself.

[phoenixkaptain]

If you're taking prompts, could you write something about Tim being the most spiteful, feral teenager ever and the rest of his family wondering why the hell everyone presumes he's the sweet, well behaved one?

This isn’t precisely what you requested, but I did have an idea of something similar a little while ago! Only, it’s Tim being terrifying and everyone in his family realizing it, but Tim not understanding what they’re talking about.

I never finished it entirely, but I’ll share the opener, since I think it has the vibe:

Tim felt like he was perpetually exhausted. He’d felt this way since he was three-years-old and trying to work out the confusing mess of emotions that came with watching two people die the first time he went to the circus. His parents offered no support. In fact, they seemed to believe he would just get over it on his own.

Really, and people wondered why he became Robin. As though he was normal. Ugh.

The exhaustion had only gotten worse over the years. With every problem he solved, more anxieties crept into his mind, poisoning his thoughts. He couldn’t sleep unless he passed out. He could barely breathe when he saw any of his so-called “siblings.” Ra’s Al Ghul was still sending him thinly veiled threats, or maybe they were abnormal declarations of affection? Bruce seemed to think so.

Anyway, Tim was tired. There were times when he wasn’t, of course. There were times when he fought alongside Kon and Bart and Cassie, just like old times, and they all devolved into acting like fifteen-year-olds. Fighting criminals still gave him a sense of living, something he intellectually knew was adrenaline but also didn’t care. There was the thrill of a case solved, a plan gone correctly, his teammates working in harmony with him.

He probably should’ve been worried about it all. The only times he felt alive were when he was in mortal danger, after all. But, he’d come to accept that he might’ve lost a few screws when he let Ra’s Al Ghul kick him out of a building without full-proof backup. Even before then, really. He kinda tuned into it when he realized that he was trying to pull a mad scientist and clone his best friend.

Tim was very aware of himself. He could be suave and charming, but he was mostly a perpetually slouching young man with his hair grown out and his clothes mostly being stolen from his friends. He could keep up his poker face all the way to his death. He could lie to Batman. He faced death every evening and ran towards it.

He still remembered when Kon muttered that he was creepy. Tim still maintained that Kon shouldn’t have gotten distracted to the point that he didn’t notice Tim’s presence until Tim was right in front of him. Kon retorted that he had been eating cereal at the Kents’ farmhouse and that Tim shouldn’t have dramatically appeared from a shadowy corner. Tim told him that if they didn’t want people to dramatically emerge from a shadowy corner, they shouldn’t have any shadowy corners to begin with. Kon asked if Tim thought the Kents could afford lamps to put in all the corners of their house. Bart told them to stop arguing because even he wasn’t capable of following their leaps of logic.

Tim didn’t believe he was scary. Not like Batman or Nightwing (Nightwing was occasionally scary… when Dick felt like being so). Definitely not on Red Hood’s level, because Tim would have to be a criminal to be on Red Hood’s level. He was criminally disadvantaged when it came to comparing himself to Robin because Robin carried around swords. Oracle was a force of pure evil when angered. Black Bat was just scary in general.

Honestly, compared to anyone else in Gotham, Tim believed he was the one rogues worried about the least. He hardly ever went out, honestly, so they probably all forgot about him.

(There were some rumours, spread amongst the criminal underground, that there was a Gotham vigilante who was never caught on camera. Who was impossible to see coming and even more difficult to keep track of. Rumours said this vigilante wasn’t human, was metahuman or worse. They said the vigilante must’ve fallen in battle, because the vigilante suddenly reappeared like a demon, attacking ruthlessly and yet… Still no images of him. The rumours said he was a ghost, a vampire, or maybe even a demon.

Tim figured they were just being dramatic and told Dick to stop telling him about weird things that didn’t relate to anything. He’d asked if Dick knew why Hood kept laughing at him every time Tim saw him recently, not if Dick knew any fairy tales among criminals. Dick had stared at him blankly for a long time, then turned on his heel and left. Tim wondered if it was a bonding tactic. He wondered why Dick thought he needed to use bonding tactics on him. Tim was pretty sure any extra bonding was just overdoing it.)

Tim didn’t think much of himself in general, but in comparison to the other vigilantes in Gotham? There was no way he held even a candle to them.

Or, at least, he assumed.