#where I live romance negativity is a CULTURAL thing fuck you I hate you if youre like this

[entropy-sea-system]

if you dont believe romance negativity is a thing fuck you actually.

[dcyllom]

misc. tag game

thank you for tagging me @blood-mocha-latte :)

a band you don’t like that many others do:

definitely Ocean Alley (i don't like their music and their most recent scandal was...interesting. also a guy i used to like but who ended up being a racist LOVED them so i have viscerally negative reactions whenever their stuff plays)

a childhood memory that you remember vividly:

i have a terrible memory, but the thing i remember best is taking our dog around the garden so he could get used to it when we first moved in, and he dug up 23 bones which the previous owners dog had buried around the place.

least favorite animal and why:

CRABS, I FUCKING HATE THEM

hot fandom take:

none, i just see bob stuff and i generally like it. although i do dislike the (not very common) infantilization of the actors or the version of the real life men they're portraying. it's just not something i personally agree with but it's not that big a deal

do you were any jewelry, if so, what’s your favorite piece:

i love rings and necklaces, but my favourite piece is my great-great grandmother's engagement ring which i inherited through my great grandmother. its gold and engraved with cool designs and a ruby and some diamonds.

a movie others liked but you didn’t:

the greatest showman. i detest that movie so much and im possibly a little dramatic about it.

three things you love about yourself:

i like my taste in wine

i really like my hair right now (just got it cut)

i like that i have such an active and extensive imagination

a place you hope to visit in the future and why:

ireland :) my family has a lot of connections to it

an actor that gets on your nerves and why:

jared leto <3

things you’re excited for in the nearby future?:

joining the tramping club at my uni this year (in nz we use the word tramping for hiking im not that strange i promise)

least favorite ship in a fandom you’re in:

legolas/gimli, i just think their story is cooler if its them working through several millennia of racial hate and enmity to become best friends to the point where they want to spend the rest of their lives together. the romance angle just overshadows that for me with them.

what’s the most toxic fandom you’ve been in?:

okay this is quite niche but its funny to me, the girlfailure community on instagram. like those people who make semi-ironic accounts posting about unhinged esoteric books or ideas, astrology, societal/cultural expectations, and religious interpretation of thoughts. its a load of bullshit but its so fucking funny to read and its mostly sarcastic (i think) so i don't feel bad for enjoying it.

list three things you find beautiful about life:

my mother, especially learning more about her and how she interprets life. i've realised recently that we're extremely similar despite having wildly different upbringings. she's also the best person i know.

new zealand :). nz is very isolated with a diverse range of biomes, there is such a large amount of untouched land that you could drive from the southern alps through farmland and native bush to the coast in about 3 hours.

cooking while listening to music!! i love it.

any dreams for the future?

completing my law and arts degrees and going on to do a masters in the uk somewhere.

how are you really feeling today?

extremely tired lol, i've got a doctors appointment tomorrow because it's been going on for several weeks.

tagging (no pressure):

anyone who wants to do it! i forgot i had this tab open so i think everyone's done it. if not, feel free to say i tagged you or something :).

[baddiedaddy7]

𝗝𝘂𝗽𝗶𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗜𝗻 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗛𝗼𝘂𝘀𝗲𝘀🍀🧡

🌺𝕁𝕦𝕡𝕚𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕀𝕟 𝔽𝕚𝕣𝕤𝕥 ℍ𝕠𝕦𝕤𝕖🌺

i don’t associate a height with this one. i’ve seen all types of heights with these ppl. may be thicc/curvalicious lmao. the guys here may be buff. forehead may be big, or may have a big head in general. laidback vibes. knows how to look on the bright side of things. at first you may be/come off as friendly, annoying, honest, loud, and cheery. chatty, and good at conversating. most likely extroverted. you can be humorous. celebrities:Rihanna, Whitney Houston, Ashton Kutcher, Richard Gere

💸𝕁𝕦𝕡𝕚𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕀𝕟 𝕊𝕖𝕔𝕠𝕟𝕕 ℍ𝕠𝕦𝕤𝕖💸

attracts money, fortune, and just lucky in the financial world lol. may win the lottery, or just get rich by luck in someway. may love or hate/dislike foods from other countries, tropical/exotic fruits, wine, alcohol in general, etc. may like fruit based perfumes(strawberries, peaches, etc). may be attracted to nice legs, or thick thighs. athletes may be attractive to you also. you may have a big/thick neck. style may be with what’s popping/trending. the way you dress may be extra lmao. may dress according to a culture. idk why but i see bright colored clothes mainly here. a fan of name brand. you need to make sure to not burn a hole in your pocket, and buy useless things. generous.

celebrities:Madonna, Britney Spears, Jay Z, Robert De Niro

📚𝕁𝕦𝕡𝕚𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕀𝕟 𝕋𝕙𝕚𝕣𝕕 ℍ𝕠𝕦𝕤𝕖📚

talks with upbeatness. joyful voice. may get lucky chances through neighbors, neighborhood, or siblings. a story teller that’s extra lol(adds details to their stories). may be a foreign student/go to school in a different state/country. may be the class clown, not go to school a lot, or just noisy at school in general lmao. lucky when it comes to school(may miss a lot of work but pass). may be popular among peers. you may have fat hands. siblings may have jupiter/sagittarius/9th house prominent in their chart. you’re most likely the sibling that plays too much, buys your siblings stuff, and your siblings may view you as chill, and happy/positive. has long convos w/siblings, and may have many siblings. driving may be fast, and reckless lol. may get overconfident on the road.

celebrities:Lana Del Rey, Hilary Duff, Jim Carrey, Dwayne Johnson

🧸𝕁𝕦𝕡𝕚𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕀𝕟 𝔽𝕠𝕦𝕣𝕥𝕙 ℍ𝕠𝕦𝕤𝕖🧸

i see road trips with the fam here lmao/may have travelled a lot as a kid. may have had a big house or yard, and may have had extras at your house(pools, trampolines, etc). may have moved a lot/lived in many places. probably was taught abt other cultures as a kid. most likely has a huge family. mother may have been spiritual or religious, open minded, fun, free spirited, honest, and probably taught you not to be judgemental/close minded. if negative, she may have been rude, irresponsible/negligent, selfish, and arrogant. mom may have sagittarius/9th house/jupiter energy in her chart. gals here may have big boobies, or guys here may be buff.

celebrities:Miranda Kerr, Kesha, Jaden Smith, Wiz Khalifa

🎲𝕁𝕦𝕡𝕚𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕀𝕟 𝔽𝕚𝕗𝕥𝕙 ℍ𝕠𝕦𝕤𝕖🎲

generous, with little kids esp. may love to buy little kids toys, candy, etc. may have/want many kids. kids may have sagittarius/jupiter/9th house placements significant in their chart. may be too laidback when parenting/may not know when to set rules, may even be lazy with parenting from time to time. but on the bright side, they can teach their kids wise things and open minded ways. i feel like these ppl would accept their kids for who they are and love them no matter what. open minded, inconsiderate, free spirited, immature, and fun in the dating world/beginning of a relationship. your heart may be large lol(literally). may like to share with their partners, weather it’s food, clothes, gifts, etc. may turn up hard at parties, if not then they’re probably socializing with everyone, just knows how to have a good time. you may like dates where you can be outside(picnic, park, hiking, etc) or just have fun in general(amusement parks, beaches, dave and busters, etc)

celebrities:Kourtney Kardashian, Janis Joplin, Elon Musk, Will Smith

🍬𝕁𝕦𝕡𝕚𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕀𝕟 𝕊𝕚𝕩𝕥𝕙 ℍ𝕠𝕦𝕤𝕖🍬

doesn’t stay sick for long, and dodges illnesses. may have a bit of a tummy. big, & energetic pets might be what you want(i want a pet giraffe & this is my placement but that’s illegal lmaoo). so you may want a dog, horse, etc. may have multiple pets. most likely has many hobbies/activities. cares abt others, and doesn’t mind sharing. talented at many things. since jupiter indicates optimism, and 6th house rules everyday stuff, you know how to look on the bright side of things. can also be calm under pressure. we don’t have a routine, whatever happens happens, and we like to live in the moment. routines are too predictable and boring. caring

celebrities:Mariah Carey,Meryl Streep, Ben Affleck, Frank Ocean

🦋𝕁𝕦𝕡𝕚𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕀𝕟 𝕊𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕙 ℍ𝕠𝕦𝕤𝕖🦋

may have a love-hate relationship with ppl that have a lot of jupiter/sagittarius/9th house in their chart. enemies may have jupiter/sagittarius/9th house in their chart or lovers/friends. may attract these ppl a lot. may attract fun, inconsiderate, open minded, immature, spiritual, chill ppl. may attract foreigners. may like to travel with other ppl instead of by yourself. you need to figure out what you want in the romance world. you may be commitment phobic. may have a friends with benefits at some point or a one night stand. you can attract many pleasant relationships though. you may have a big butt

celebrities:Marilyn Monroe, Alicia Keys, Drake, Jimi Hendrix

🐍𝕁𝕦𝕡𝕚𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕀𝕟 𝔼𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥𝕙 ℍ𝕠𝕦𝕤𝕖🐍

may be into mysteries. you may also attract money, or get it easily. may be transcendental. accepts change, and usually open to it. embraces the unknown, and death. intuition may lead you to luck. if you’re a vagina carrier, you may have big labias or clitoris, if you have a penis, it may be larger than average. high libido gangg lol. may like to fuck outside or like it rough, and reckless. doggy style lmao. fun filled sex is also seen here, and may want to have sex often.

celebrities:Taylor Swift, Tina Turner, Michael Jackson, Snoop Dogg

🍄𝕁𝕦𝕡𝕚𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕀𝕟 ℕ𝕚𝕟𝕥𝕙 ℍ𝕠𝕦𝕤𝕖🍄

may major in religion, law, geography, culture, etc in college or university. knowledge refreshes your soul. optimistic outlook on things. values freedom. can either be rlly non judgmental, or judgmental and noisy. you may love to travel, and may have a love for trivia too. debates are fun to you, and you may have a knack for random facts. you may love to learn abt other countries, cultures, environments, etc. may know how to speak many languages, and may love libraries/books. you may have thicc thighs. wholesome

celebrities:Ariana Grande, Gwen Stefani, Johnny Depp, Keanu Reeves

🪐𝕁𝕦𝕡𝕚𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕀𝕟 𝕋𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕙 ℍ𝕠𝕦𝕤𝕖🪐

your reputation may be that your wise, obnoxious, funny, chill, and cheery. pilot, flight attendant, professor, teacher, philosopher, etc may be a career of yours or something you’ve thought of being. need a job where you can either travel or spread/learn wisdom and knowledge. may have bulky knees. ambitious, knows how to get to the top. may be lucky in the career world, and get many opportunities.

celebrities:Angelina Jolie, Lady Gaga, Steve Jobs, Kurt Cobain

👾𝕁𝕦𝕡𝕚𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕀𝕟 𝔼𝕝𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕙 ℍ𝕠𝕦𝕤𝕖👾

friends, and ppl that crush on you often may have jupiter/sagittarius/9th house placements in their chart. may have bulky ankles/calves. may have friends or be the friend that likes to party, is loud, funny, wise, and chill. may have many friends from different cliques, so they may not get along. may have friends from different religions, cultures, and countries. may want/like to travel with friends. gets along with a lot of ppl. may be obnoxious.

celebrities:Zendaya, Anne Hathaway, Prince, Elton John

🐣𝕁𝕦𝕡𝕚𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕀𝕟 𝕋𝕨𝕖𝕝𝕗𝕥𝕙 ℍ𝕠𝕦𝕤𝕖🐣

you may not have rlly care abt material things. sees good in everything. you may do mediation, if not then you should. you may be spiritual. may have big feet. you may be able to feel vibes off of people, and may be psychic. sees the big picture. you’re thoughtful, and careabt others. might share something and not expect anything in return/genuine.

celebrities:Beyoncé, Sandra Bullock, George Clooney, Barack Obama

[rubecso]

I liveblogged that Greg Ellis video and now you can suffer with me

So I did not intend to watch the whole of Greg Ellis’ rant, but I guess I’m a masochist. I ended up liveblogging it so here, you can get the highlights without having to sit through 37:55 like I did. ETA: Holy shit, it got privated in the time it took me to copy this out. I might be one of the last people to watch it. What did I do to deserve this honour.

holy shit I'm on the video that Greg Ellis did in Cullen's voice and the like-dislike ratio is 124:1.4k

What the fuck this is 37:55 long?????

How did he bitch for 37:55??????????

HOLY SHIT 56 seconds in and he's talking about a 'mob of social justice warriors' wtf????

guys my soul has left my body

"Integrity is earned in turmoil, not simply asserted in comfort" what the fuck is this hasfdk;lsfdajlksfda;lksfda;sfda

HE IS TALKING ABOUT TWITTER DRAMA LIKE ITS A FANTASY WAR I CAN'T

"Join us on this most magnificent morality quest" WHAT

"Help us banish the reputation savages ((savagers?)) and cancel culture hedonists"

sfdsajklsfda this keeps getting weirder what the fuck

"Intellectual glitterati" he can't keep doing this

he can't keep making it weirder

i can't take it

i just can't

he's literally reading an Intellectual Dark Web manifesto in the voice of his character with Dragon Age background music and a bunch of hamfisted references to the dragon age world and general fantasy tropes

HE'S TALKING ABOUT THE CHIVALRIC CODE

"How can men and woman, who are profoundly different from one another, be equals? ~~Chivalry~~~"

I can't he's still voice acting he's acting this like he's actually voicing an emotional scene in the game i fucking can't

THE FUCKING MUSIC RAMPING UP UNDER HIS DRIVELLING BULLSHIT

"Join me, for this new adventure. Like. Follow. Subscribe."

If you aren't listening to this please please just imagine all this said with the upmost sincerity. Like, if you've done Cullen's romance picture it as the voice he used for the really emotional scenes.

Oh fuck I'm gonna listen to this whole thing, aren't I?

He's... he's talking about Johnny Depp and Pirates of the Caribbean

In Cullen's voice

Why is Cullen talking to me about Johnny Depp

He's talking about some time when him and another voice actor tried to hold an event where I guess they could try and launder their image after supporting JK Rowling?

Anyway this leads to him saying: "None of the mob showed up. Why..... WHY???"

THE PREGNANT PAUSES

THE INTERSECTIONAL MOB

OH god another "WHY???"

His voice quavering with OTT emotion

Fuck he really does want to be JBP, huh?

He's literally just bitching about people not showing up to his events now

“THE CANCELLATION OF CULLEN RUTHERFORD”

I CAN'T THIS IS JUST TOO FUNNY

OKay now he's just playing a propaganda film he made about the BLM protests??

Okay back to the cringe now

"In response to one angry mobster, Greg stated that every life has value~~~~~~..."

Okay I have now heard Cullen Rutherford say "All lives matter" with 100% sincerity

"We are living in an era of woke capitalism, in which companies pretend to care about social justice to sell products to people who pretend to hate capitalism."

Okay but like... you know that the 'capitalism' part of that is the problem and not the 'social justice' part right?

"Vile and LIBELOUS messages followed. They were posted online by a SELECT FEW..."

ooooooooh he's on to bitchiing about Mark Darrah this ought to be good

"Not to defend Greg or Cullen from the libelous and ridiculous aspersions...."

DUDE YOUR CHARACTER DIDN'T NEED DEFENDING WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU ON ABOUT????

Okay my chances of ever not hating Cullen have dissolved now, sorry this is all I'll hear when I hear his voice now

"And giving these negative nnnnnnincompoops exactly what they demanded..."

He literally drew out the 'n' in 'nincompoops'

"This post... had 6 likes. One of two comments.... was posted...." *dramatic reveal voice* ".... by MARK DARRAH"

"Mark Darrah... is the worst kind... of corporate coward. He has :’( no code..... of honour :’("

there are 10 minutes left i'm going to die

OKAY i have now heard Cullen Rutherford, commander of the inqusition, say the words "Go woke, go broke"

"One doesn't challenge The Maker.... without consequences"

I think the Maker here is Bioware?????

"Greg and Cullen were summarily lumped together.... and generalised!!!"

DUDE CULLEN IS NOT REAL

YOU CANNOT LUMP HIM IN WITH ANYONE

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT

HE DID IT AGAIN

HE PUT "THE CANCELLATION OF CULLEN RUTHERFORD" TWICE

"The racist trolls came out of the woodwork to cancel Cullen, once... and for ALL!"

"I stand... for HUMAN... RIGHTS :’’’’’’’’’’’’(“ IT'S A VIDEO GAME CHARACTER

"BLACK.... LIVES... MATTER.” *long pause* “AND THEY DON'T MATTER MORE..... THAN ANYONE.... ELSE’S."

Yes. Correct. You are correct. Well done.

*insert the ‘You’re Correct Horse’ video*

"I love.... I ~~~~~love~~~~~~.... everyone "

"So yes.... alll... LIVES... DO... INDEED.... MATTER.... TO MEEEEEEE~~~~~~”

"This moment of history is harsh and merciless.... and in this moment.... I'm choosing.... LOVE"

HE'S LITERALLY JUST REPEATED THE 'WOKE CAPITALISM' LINE FROM EARLIER WORD-FOR-WORD

"Mobbing.... is social murder!"

"And by definition.... people cannot survive their own murder!"

(Again, just imagine his voice breaking with ~~~~~~~emotion~~~~~~~ on that line)

"How do we move from hateful to grateful????"

(The worst part is I know that this shit is going to be convincing to some people and that makes me actually sad)

"Exercise from the neck-up, during this.... PANIC-DEMIC!"

HE'S QUOTING CULLEN I FUCKING CAN'T

"As fans eagerly and patiently await the release of Dragon Age 4, and hope for the inclusion of their ~~~~beloved~~~~~~ Cullen" 

*vomit*

okay now he's just telling Cullen's backstory?

I'm guessing this is going to lead somehow into the whole "DON'T BE MEAN TO ME FOR THE SHITTY THINGS I DID IN THE PAST!!!!" thing?

Okay no he just... said it and then moved on?

"Only time.... and the Maker... will tell”

THAT’S IT

what the fuck i am going mad help

this video should come with a warning I got sucked in and trapped for half an hour

[autumnblogs]

Day 37: > Lord English: Reveal Yourself

https://homestuck.com/story/4647

Fun fact; remember how Rose has the highest percentage of fuck out of the main cast in her cursing profile? Caliborn has the highest percentage of bitch. This is presumably to code his misogyny.

Surprisingly, Caliborn’s use of language is relatively developed - he has the same level of relative floweriness, approximately, as do Dirk and Rose, but it’s stunted by the fact that his poor period placement makes his manner come across as halting.

More after the break.

https://homestuck.com/story/4648

Are being evil, and thinking that human reproduction is disgusting, the one thing that Caliborn and the Condescension share in common? I feel like it probably is, other than being, y’know, evil. I think we can interpret this total disgust for other peoples’ bodies as being symbolic of the same kind of specific hate as homophobia - irrational hate and fear of another person’s body as a site of pleasure, pleasure that is unfamiliar to you.

https://homestuck.com/story/4650

While we can read the first few instances where characters repeat each other’s syntax as being meaningful, now that we’re in the second half of the story, and the fact that Homestuck’s narrative layer is becoming more and more obvious, rather than being indicators of commonality, these sorts of reproductions start to become empty signifiers, in kind of exactly the way that the various symbols become for the characters themselves - symbols or rituals absent of their original meaning, being reproduced for the mere sake of reproducing them.

https://homestuck.com/story/4684

English’s first act after entering the Furthest Ring through the Green Sun is to Go Kill Andrew Hussie.

https://homestuck.com/story/4689

This is a great conversation that really puts out into the open a lot of the questions, without directly answering them, but I think that the answer to Karkat’s main question; “What’s the Point of All This?” is bound up in the word self-fulfilling. In Homestuck, a thing has no meaning external to itself. The meaning of our actions are only and entirely what we make of them. That’s the nature of Paradox Space. Through a causal loop, Paradox Space creates itself, just like everyone in Paradox Space is created by their own actions, for the most part.

And where I guess I’m going with all of this is that if we want to talk about Homestuck as a work of theological fiction (it is a creation story after all), it’s a definitively Pantheistic one, or at least a Panentheistic one. What I mean by this is that at the end of the day, probably the best use to which we can put the word God - which has all kinds of weird different meanings - is a thing which is the way it is for no external reasons. There is no higher power, no earlier link in the chain to which you can refer to explain why it behaves as it does; you must simply accept that that is, in fact, what it does.

Because of Homestuck’s conceit that it does, in fact, contain its own author (and audience) as characters, Paradox Space has, from an internal perspective, no link in the causal chain prior to itself to which we can refer to explain why it behaves as it does. It Just Does That.

https://homestuck.com/story/4693

And so too do individual people in Paradox Space! They Just Do That! Which is what I mean when I say that Paradox Space is a Panentheistic Universe. It’s not merely that Paradox Space itself is Divine - everything and everyone in PSpace, or at the very least, Jujus, Paradox Clones, and so on - Just Do That. The fact that Karkat throws a tantrum is not predicated on any external factors - he Just Does That. Karkat cannot blame his anger on anything other than himself - it is entirely a reflection on, and an expression of, his own character.

https://homestuck.com/story/4700

Dave is so much less cool in person. He just babbles inanely to himself pretty much 24/7. I wonder if he used to do that around the house when he was living with Bro.

https://homestuck.com/story/4705

I get the impression that Rose’s Seer of Light Powers effectively allow her, among other things, to have a comprehensive awareness of what has happened in Homestuck so far.

https://homestuck.com/story/4708

Pretty much our first opportunity to see what they kids are up to on their meteor ride, and everyone is stewing in unfathomable malaise of restless puberty. Dave in particular grappling with his growing understanding of how fucked up his relationship with his Bro is, and his own complicated sexuality.

https://homestuck.com/story/4711

Romance in general clearly makes Dave uncomfortable to talk about, except as a way of fucking with people. (Also, the way that Karkat is extremely defensive of his taste in movies, going to extreme lengths to justify watching them, he probably just actually likes them and feels guilty for doing so which I think is hilarious.)

https://homestuck.com/story/4713

I feel like this is illustrative of the reason that Karkat and Terezi broke up in the first place - Karkat is borderline incapable of respecting people’s boundaries. He’s too self-absorbed, too absorbed by his own emotional squalor to be able to consider other people as anything other than actors, as opposed to thinking about them as people with inner lives, for the most part. Except for when he can calm down for half a second.

https://homestuck.com/story/4727

Dave doesn’t solve this conflict with violence, exactly, but even if it’s not romantic physicality, I still kinda don’t think this level of phyiscal altercation was appropriate to the situation, and probably made things worse for everyone.

That said, Dave is absolutely justifiably angry over the way Karkat is treating this whole situation.

https://homestuck.com/story/4732

The purpose of these intermissions seems to be exploring the emotional consequences of the negative ideas that the characters have had transmitted to them culturally.

I think the main bad idea that John has had inculcated based on the appalling way that he treats Davesprite is that ultimately, only the “real” Dave actually matters.

While there’s the fact that Dave and Davesprite are still probably the same ultimate self, both of them are still individuals, they’re different from each other. Ironically, the way that Dirk treats the Autoresponder is probably a better model of how to treat people than the way that John treats Davesprite.

https://homestuck.com/story/4736

More evidence for the “John is Ace” box.

In spite of his youthful preoccupation with movie star crushes, John just has no interest in the romances. (Maybe he’s Aro, rather than Ace?)

https://homestuck.com/story/4767

We’ll pick up here tomorrow.

For now, Cam signing off, Alive, but kind of exhausted.

[katal0gue]

no offense but i feel absolutely fucking awful about a bunch of things and i am going to blog about them (binge eating cw)

You make me feel so much and I feel like I am always trying to figure out your humor and how your brain works and it does not help that it seems to be supported by your whole friend group, creating this impenetrable cloud of references and jokes and meanings and levels of irony around you that i will never fully Get, not because I’m too earnest but because our snark is often aimed in opposite directions. Why is the only thing that has made me feel better about this that “cringe and cancel culture” joke I reblogged last night. Seeing you hate on astrology and polyamory in a “kids these days” way is making me want to rip my fucking hair out

On that note why is everyone else’s aggression seen as Powerful And Necessary and mine is seen as like, a wild animal who needs to be controlled. Yesterday my boss told me “don’t get upset!” after I responded in an annoyed tone to her saying “no, no, no, no, NO! why would you do THAT” in response to me explaining how I was going to put in a kids’ schedule (after wee talked it out I was right lol) when like a) girl that ship has SAILED and b) you! are! the! one! getting! upset!

The online version of the above is that when you participate in cringe culture or what the fuck ever that is just you being a hilarious lovable grouchy old man but when I do it it’s because I���m a toxic evil monster 

I am lonely. I feel like I agree with a lot of things people in my circles sort of scoff at and am sort of scoffing at a lot of things people in my cirlces agree with and I would just like to have a strong sense of mutual understanding with people, I want someone to make eye contact with and nod, I want someone to be in the audience when I stare at the camera. I have this with some people about certain specific issues but then we’ll disagree on something and I’ll conclude that Specific Issue was actually superficial and REAL connection is about [thing i perceive to be Deeper] but its actually all just a bunch of bullshit and I am a lonely idiot

I am lonely. I want irl friends who I can see and hear and hug and do irl activities with. I have not been out to a party since New Years Eve, which is not quite as bad as I thought now that I’m actually reflecting on it, and the winter is better staying-in time than the rest of the year, but like....when I do want to be out and about, who am I going to do that with. I want gal pals. I want bros and broettes. Please for the love of god someone friendzone me, I need some friends. I am so fucking self conscious about how I socialize, and what is and is not Cool, and how much the definition of Cool changes. It’s all a bunch of bullshit and I am a lonely idiot. My brother and I are good friends I think but he does so much Man Bullshit to me like acts like I’m talking his ear off when I say lke two sentences meanwhile will talk At me and my mom and the room at large pointlessly for literal hours and get mad when any single one of his Jokes or Comments is met without a response. And I know he’s irritated with a ton of things that I do as well. 

Regarding the two above bullets, I will say that my online friendships (which I am including irl friends who no longer live close to me in) have improved a lot recently as I have Gotten Real with myself about a lot of things and allowed myself to set boundaries. I am acting more respectfully to myself and to you guys i think? But I just need irl stuff too.

I have no idea where I want to live. I can’t live in my parents house on long island forever and it’s getting to be to much to just live there on the daily because we’re all getting on each other’s nerves. But I don’t know where else I would want to live. I mostly know what i don’t want: not someplace cold, not someplace too far inland. But the latter point is the sticking point because while Long Island is Very Expensive, so is pretty much anyplace near enough to the ocean, and like, the ocean is my wife. I know that is irrational but she is my wife and we are in love. I want to live someplace non-bougie that is also magically a beach town. So that is all compounding the above issue of IRL Friends because I do not even know where I want IRL to take place.

My body is under scrutiny in my house and I just want to make sure it’s okay. I have been WAY better with moderate aerobic exercise and resistance training (go me!), but I’ve been slacking with stretching (which is even more important now that I’m doing strength training) and I fucking hate intense aerobics with my entire heart. The thing I hate the least right now is the elliptical but god it is still so boring and sucks. Swimming is my favorite cardio but it’s not very accessible to me at this moment and there’s no public pool in my town and I would have to pay to use the one in the neighboring town. I love dancing but I don’t have anyplace to do it (maybe the basement when no one is home) and wouldn’t know where to start with making it into a workout - I really fucking hate following videos. Sorry this is so whiny and self defeating. Food wise I just keep bingeing. My diet is not perfect outside of that but it’s not as bad as it used to be, but the binging. Every single night. It’s literally self harm but it’s the only thing that makes me feel like I’m not being punished because everything else does. 

I want to get along with my dad but similar to my brother on a way more intense scale he just is such a man and it is really grating. Again, I know I am also grating, two negatives don’t make a positive and we just keep pissing each other off. I’m getting better at not showing it. 

I keep having terrible, disturbing dreams: i am violent to others, others are violent to me, there’s always some kind of  work/school stress in the picture so sleeping isn’t even relaxing, I just wake up stressed. Maybe it’s because I keep stuffing my face before sleeping. 

I feel like I am not very good at my job and keep making stupid mistakes, because I cannot focus, because I keep thinking about the above bullets nonstop. I am not a very good leader and managing people is so difficult and I say sorry like 850 times a day and everyone thinks I’m a fucking idiot. Or maybe they think that I’m not only an idiot but an idiot who tries to use Big Words. Which i guess i am. fuck me huh! 

i want a baby really, really badly lmao. But I don’t know enough about myself to really begin dating I feel, like I keep going on “dates” that end up not being dates and actually end up just me making out with some guy, which is fine but I want romance, but don’t know how or where to find it, or what I even want in a partner lol, or where we would live together or what my career would be or anything lmao. I just find everyone annoying, especially myself. 

I can’t stop thinking about stuff from the past and reliving feelings, mostly irritation, like the thing just happened a second ago. These aren’t memories of trauma or violence just of things that were incredibly annoying, usually condescending. 

[dalishious]

This conversation is one of the best demonstrations of Lukas Kristjanson’s fundamental lack of understanding of established lore on City Elves. And general asininity.

#LowElfEsteem is a series on Sera’s romance with an elven mage, discussing both the well and poorly done aspects of her writing, while also examining her character on a deeper level.

The first half of this part isn't so bad, because at least I can understand the intent of it being to follow up with Sera’s “hope you’re not too elfy” comment in her introduction scene with what she means.

Lavellan: I’m just interested in talking to an elf like me.

Sera: Mmm, don’t think so.

Lavellan: Why not?

Sera: Well, maybe  you’re all right. But most elves are too... elfy. 

Sera: Like that Solas, right? “Never be as good as we were.” Well, who’s we? I’m just fine.

Because hearing this for the first time, it’s a moment of realization of her current mindset. What is especially telling is her insistence, “I’m just fine.” It’s completely unprompted; the Inquisitor instead says the exact opposite, saying Sera is an elf like her. But Sera’s instinctive reaction is to challenge this, like it’s a bad thing to be an elf, and she is not like that. This is the first time we really see a glimpse of her internalized racism.

What makes it fall flat though, is using Solas as a comparison. Solas, who also says that elves are wrong, who also separates himself from the elves of current time, going as far as to say he doesn’t see himself as an elf. To me, this is just another illustration of how it’s negatively impacting to not have any elves in DA:I who are actually happy to be elves. DA:I could really have benefited from a Zevran, a Velanna, a Merrill. 

Where the conversation to end here, I would have even been a little impressed with Kristjanson. But it doesn’t, and the second half, the one dictated by player dialogue choices, is a mess of a Bad Take from an ignorant white man.

Lavellan: I think there’s more to it than that. A few thousand years more. 

Sera: Hey, someone wants to be angry about old debts, be angry. Be a terror that never lets an enemy forget.

Sera: But if you’re digging it up so you can wear it, that’s just weird.

Sera: I mean, you Dalish don’t really know. You have stories, but that’s all they are. 

Sera: It’s all fancy dress, not history. 

It’s actually quite astounding how many white people see ethnic minorities as “choosing” to be offended, and therefore it’s our problem, not theirs for being offensive in the first place. I can honestly tell you I do not know a single native person who is angry to “wear it.” We’re angry because genocide never ended for us, and it feels like no one cares. And in the exact same way, this piece is completely dismissive of the ongoing persecution elves face, as if it’s all old “stories” and “history.” It’s not even in the slightest.

While I suppose it’s possible that Sera is just regurgitating things she’s heard from humans, to me this reads more like her being used as a mouthpiece for someone who doesn’t actually have a single clue what he’s talking about. :)

Lavellan: There’s nothing to learn from any of that history?

Sera: Yes. “Don’t do that.”

Sera: What? “We” lost so bad, there was nothing left.

Sera: You figure out what they wore on their deathbed, you wear it. Waste of time.

Again, just like the above option, this one treats elven culture as if it’s all a thing of the past. As if the Dalish and City Elves don’t have a thriving culture in present time, despite all attempts at total assimilation by the Chantry. “There was nothing left?” This is plain not true. Yes, much of it was stolen, but not all. And what was preserved has morphed into living cultures of present day.

[Sidenote: Now I can’t stop thinking about how much this piece sounds like that white nationalist I had in my inbox; “strong nations won wars and conquered weak ones and that’s okay” adsgklahdlsaf fucking christ on toast]

This last one is the one I hate most of all:

Lavellan: There’s a lot of tradition there. Should it just be thrown away?

Sera: Your great-grandfather’s dead, why aren’t you dead? You’re throwing away tradition.

Lavellan: That makes sense to you?

Sera: None of it does in the city. That’s why I’m not “like an elf.”

Ignoring how that is the most ridiculous, nonsensical argument I’ve ever heard--and contrary to popular opinion, Sera is not actually really nonsensical, so no, I do not consider this to be in-character but instead just a fucking absolute moron at the helm--CITY ELVES ARE NO LESS ELVEN THAN DALISH ELVES, AND THEY HAVE THEIR OWN CULTURE AND TRADITIONS TOO.

For FUCK sake Kristjanson, we had a whole damn Origin in DA:O dedicated to showing this! Hell, one of the first things Duncan says in the narrative voice over is “despite these hardships, Denerim’s elves are a strong people who take pride in their close community.” And this is in fact it’s of the same alienage Sera is originally from!

There are even some City Elves who still believe in the traditional elven gods, against Chantry law. Hell, we meet three of them in Inquisition!

“Sylaise bless you... or the Maker... or whoever. It doesn’t matter. Just thank you” --The elven man from the quest Shallow Breaths

“You are Dalish? My Senna and I, we kept to the old ways as we could, though I know we are as children to you.” --The elven man from he quest Flowers for Senna

And the elven woman in the quest Agrarian Apostate? The ring the templars stole from her husband is an “Old Dalish Promise Ring.”

To say that city elves are not “elfy” is wrong. And to say that the reason Sera’s internal racism is because she’s a City Elf and not a Dalish elf is wrong. City elves are elves, just like Dalish elves are elves. They’re just different. And while yes there are some Dalish Elves who see City Elves as being not really elves, and some City Elves who see Dalish Elves as not being really elves, this doesn’t stop them from helping each other out, nor is it the viewpoint of everyone. The whole idea subtracts from the real core of Sera’s issues; those from being raised by a human noble.

[lairofsentinel]

I’ve finished this terrible game called Greed_fall. Really...

Spoilers ahead, and really a big amount of “negativity” [aka criticism] about this game.

I can’t believe it’s the same company that did The Technomancer. I mean, sure, no game is perfect. But, to begin with, this one is sold as RPG when you have no fucking way to decide if you want to massacre natives or colonialists, or like, for example, spit and punch the man who never told you that you were a kidnapped child of natives that European colonialists took and raised as their own.  That’s a terrible wound in History. It even had contemporaneous versions not long ago [for example, the Condor plan], and this game did not even give you the option to punch the man or simply not forgive him?. Because without being able to choose anything, your char not only is not angry with that fucker, but they THANK him for telling them the truth 25 years later. Ah. But the man “loved your mother”. A fucking asshole kept the identity of a native child for 25 years simply because... he loved her. Ugh. 

I'll try to be short, and concise. I truly don't want to waste more time in this fucked up game:

The Natives:

The first ones you meet during the first 10 hours are basically depicted as childish creatures that know nothing, and they need of the colonialists to “learn”. Somehow, that was getting a bit more complex along the game, and you see few tribes that are angry at the ravishing of their lands. But still yet, they are depicted as “too aggressive” most of the time. As if they had not enough causes to want to attack the colonialists.

Suddenly, by the second half of the game, the natives realise they have power and knowledge by their own which is even more valuable that all the bullshit that Europeans bring. So, they have this stupid revelation that they know a lot that colonialists don't. You feel the natives so vague and lack of self sense.

Some other natives seems to me like CEOs, that suddenly, are too worried about market and commerce with the colonialists. Like... seriously?. Capitalist Natives just right there, after 15 years of colonialism fucking their lands?? Meh.

As a personal opinion, I hate the repetition of the concept of natives as “tribes” that live in a “small rudimentary village”, in comparison with the complexity that “European architecture/society” shows. Like... they only keep using the concept of the most nomad natives, they don't fucking show a complex society with science and art development beyond the European, when you have a super close example with the Aztec Imperium. They had advanced and successful surgical interventions of the brain and deep understanding of Astronomy while Europe was dying because they didn't want to bath daily and kept burning their astronomers. But ok, that's my personal annoyance toward every game where natives are shown.

European architecture, is the only one.

This comes long the same mood that Spider showed with the natives: “I don't give a fuck”-mood. You have the Bridge Alliance, who are basically the “Muslims” in the old Europe, the ones with true knowledge and “turbans”. I was expecting to see “Muslim” architecture. You know, mosque-like? [I'm not even asking them to have extreme History accuracy, but hell, give me something that make me believe it's true that there are 2 factions here] But no. You see some fences and some random arithmetical design here and there, 3 big carpets in the palace, but the rest of the houses and the palace itself are all European-like. I mean... if you are doing a game which scenery is so elaborated, you can't be lazy about designing 3 types of architecture, since you are basing your fuckign game on Europeans, Muslims, and Natives. Natives have the most rudimentary design because “natives”. They are all about big houses with just a bonfire in the middle. Sure, I know, native groups in the old Europe and Britain used to have that kind of architecture. Celtic-like. I'm complaining because I would like to see, for once in my life, a native culture which is shown as an imperium. But whatever. The Muslim architecture is such a lazy development here.

Petrus:

This is probably the highest point of fuckery. The man [a religious one] “took care” of the main character's mother, a kidnapped pregnant woman, because “she was the only woman he loved” [this game is ALWAYS about the colonialists and their feelings and their problems. European problems= MAIN quest, native problems= side quests]. Her husband was killed trying to rescue her [aka colonialists killed him], and she was sent to the continent, because she was... “marvellous” [this game has the most sickly arguments I've seen in a long while]. She gave birth to the protagonist of the game in one of the Naut's ships. She remained in captivity, and asked Petrus [ the man who was supposed to love her] to kill her, because she could not resist that life. He didn't do it, because “love”. And now, the whole quest is about how guilty Petrus is about that, and about the slight tiny detail of having kept secret that the protagonist's origin is native.

And as if all this was not sufficient, this “RPG” game doesn't allow you to NOT forgive him, to spit him, to do something out of anger. No. The whole quest continues with the protagonist thanking Petrus for “telling him the truth 25 years later”. This is terrible. The problem here is not Petrus being an asshole, is the game giving you no options to have another reaction but thanking him.

Romance:

Yeah, yeah, we have crappy romances. For a game which claimed to be based on DAO, didn't learn a shit about development of chars and their relationship with the protagonist. You have 5 characters that interact very little with the protagonist or among them [banter? What's that?. DOS2 has no banter, but at least you have a lot of personal conversation with the chars, and they intervene in the quests and give their opinions], and the peak of laziness was when I saw the “romantic” scene of all of them. ALL, ALL romantic scene are a copy-paste of the ones in Technomancer. The worst is Vasco/Siora. They are in the place of Andrew, from Technomancer. They did not even change the angle of the camera. I dislike this so much because that scene was meant to be related to Andrew. The man had a prosthetic arm, so that's why the main char looks at his hand, as a gesture of acceptance. In Vasco/Siora's case is so out of sense. Looking at that hand like “did you wash them? I don't want fish/soil in my thingie”.

And again... beyond the stupid romance, the development of relationships is so weak. I would not complain if they were not claiming they based this game in DAO. Lol. You can't even speak about the main quests with them. They have nothing to say. Nothing.

Pace:

This is probably a result of the whole mess of the many irritating things I've been seeing in the game, but it was incredible boring and slow. The dialogues are wrongly done. Every time you meet a new char, the protagonist explains everything. Again. It's not needed. The player already knows that, since you repeated that 53 times!.

The endings And the endings... hell. I can’t even know where to start. Basically... you can destroy the whole natives and the isle included, just because you want to save your cousin—son of an European colonialist, with a lot of daddy issues—. Again, the whole game is highly focused on European pain and feelings. It seems we should feel pity for his useless ass, and understand him when he decided he wants to be a new god, consume the native god, and decide “what’s better for the rest of the world”. Most colonialist ending you can't have.

Thankfully, our fave “RPG” game gives us a loooot of options to end the game: 2. Kill him or join him.

If you kill him, you have four “branches” of endings. In two, you are trying to find “balance” between colonialist and natives, and one ending about natives tired as fuck of the European shit repel the colonialists from their isle and let them fuck off with the Malinchor, since the only thing they can do is drain and consume everything.

Of course, this ending is “bad” too. You can't let the native decide by themselves. That's “bad”.

In fact, to end the game, you need to meddle in native politics. Like, you have to choose who will be High King of the natives. Look at that!. Your parents must be native, but you were raised as another colonist.... who has the power to intervene in native decision. The imbalance of power and fuckery here is... big. And I'm not counting on all the killing and destruction of native “sacred” places you had to do to reach this [the amount of guardians killed without other option to evade them annoyed me as hell, what kind of balance you speak of if you destroy everything at your wake?].

The “better” world ending, is a world of “balance”, in which colonialist and natives “learn from each other”. Which seems more or less ok... but again, colonialists owning their own shit? Never. And again... why our protagonist should speak about balance when they did disasters to reach the end of the game?. 

This is a game where you truly can play and let free your “white saviour complex”, because you can tell me all what you want about the protagonist being a “native”, but they only knows about that by the end of the game... their mind and behaviour and purposes has always been super colonialists, without chances to choose to fuck off Theleme and all the other factions out of rage. This is the most gratuitous plot you get from Spider to “cover” their asses about any critic of “but a colonialist had been deciding over natives all the fucking game”. And you know what, you did. It doesn’t matter if the char has native parents. They are the embodiment of colonialism to the end of the game. 

The only “bad” ending in which Colonialists are repeled, you have to feel sorry, because “bad natives allowed the continent to be decimated by the Malinchor”. Sure, because colonialist presence in the Isle was not like a “Malinchor”?.Ugh. Honestly, super infuriating game. 

But, by far, the ending of the Cousin becoming, alongside with you, “new gods”, destroying the native root.... was so fucked up....but well, at least it's an option. Probably the only relevant option this “RPG” gave us.

I was so sick about all this game, that I just wanted to have an ending of becoming a Naut [after all, the protagonist is a sea-born] and go fuck the old world and these terrible depicted natives. Of course, this “wonderful RPG” never gives you a relevant option like that.

Less troublesome things: “open world” that  only allows paths.

This is something inherited by Technomancer. You waste HOURS running from a point to another because this apparent “open world”, is  just a bunch of mazes/tunnels, and you can't jump or descend by places that look like accessible just because they decided their “RPG open world” has to be a lineal game with a clear path to follow. The teleportation points are not enough, since you always need to run minutes and minutes to reach ones of these. This is of big importance since the game is full of stupid Quests of “go speak with A, bring me their answers. Go back again, etc, etc”. This had been a big criticism in Technomancer. They did not learn about it.

Less troublesome things: combat

Another issue inherited by Technomancer. It's quite common to get stuck in some texture in middle of a big boss, or the dodge has a weird lag, or chars are too slow in general. This exact problem was a big issue during the first encounter of Technomancer, turning it into a nightmare. It keeps being the same more or less.

Honestly, this game has several levels of wrongness in terms of plot [I dont even care about the bugs, about the waste of time running, or the stupid quests of being a silly errand boy, or the combat—though, more often than not it enrages you--. But the plot was a big pain. Like... really... guys, you did Technomancer! Bound by Flame, Of Orc and men, Styx, even Grey Matter [I didn’t play it, but I was told it was interesting and with a lot of progressive stuff]... what the fuck happened here?. Sure, none of all those games are spotless, but at least they felt more RPG than this one!. You could be a bit asshole, a diplomat, or an evil char.  

I think they put all their resources in scenery in Greedfall. Because, yeah, it’s beautiful. Probably the only good thing in this game [even though it has this shit about paths that make you waste a lot of time].

A lot of people also highlight about the presence of poc chars everywhere. I didn’t notice this “everywhere”. You have white natives and black people among the colonialists, true. Which seems a bit ok, but to me it felts as the free pass for Spider to do all the fuckery in the game XD “hey, we all have colonialist mindsets, but hey... black people fucking native ones! no side is right! yay, we are mind-blowing you! XD”. 

Probably I have to mention that one of the few things that are good in the game is Aphra. Because you never see black/brown scholars in games, and she gave me, for few seconds, some relief of all this mess in this game.  However, the way she forces others to teach her... is quite questionable. As I said before, “yay, black people on the colonialist side, they can fuck natives like History white people did! We are progressive! this game is so gray-mind-blowing :D yay”.

Truth be told, not a recommendable game. If you want a more decent RPG compared with this one, of the same company, go get Technomancer.

[aroacearborvitae]

I think about this a lot but it’s kind of sickening and frustrating and sad that we have no fucking idea what repulsion is

I’m talking both/either romance and sex repulsion here, as a person that experiences both. in the aspec community, we’ve identified that many of us are repulsed by similar things, with similar symptoms. we’ve given it a name, developed coping mechanisms and avoidance techniques, created support systems for each other, and so on and so forth. that’s great! that’s a wonderful first step on the way to healing, realization and identification.

but the thing is, we don’t know so much. a mental illness is defined as something that negatively affects a person’s thinking and feeling and functioning each day. that certainly describes repulsion for many of us. so is repulsion classified as a mental illness? possibly. but it’s not like we know for sure, and I got that definition off the preview of the first google link. most of us are scattered blogs on tumblr with no professional psychological or medical training trying to make sense of our odd experiences.

there are some things we do know. we know being aspec isn’t a mental illness, it’s a minority orientation. repulsion isn’t caused by being aspec since many aspec people are romance or sex favorable, and some allo people are repulsed, but there is a definite correlation. repulsion can be a trigger from trauma or very negative experiences, or caused by nothing. it’s an identified phenomenon for many people that experience it with the same causes and similar symptoms.

but there are so many things we don’t know about it! if it’s a mental illness, why do some people develop it as children or older adults, with very little or quite a lot of experience with it already? why can it get stronger or weaker after realizing you’re aspec? why is it mostly for aspec people? why is it not universal among aspec people? can it be predicted and stopped? why do symptoms, causes, and strength vary between repulsions for people that experience both? why do some people have repulsion to some acts/images and not others? why do symptoms vary? how does it vary with culture, upbringing, nationality, ethnicity, etc.? why are some of us repulsed by things not inherently romantic/sexual but associate them with it anyway? is it a sickness, an inherent individual defect, psychological damage? is it a side effect of mental illness? can it operate independently of other mental illnesses or does it get weaker as a person mentally heals? can it be treated? should it be treated?

if I wanted to go to a therapist and get help for this, to try and function in situations where I currently cannot (first assuming I am not pathologized for my orientation and treated for that), would it be treated as a trauma trigger or simply a strong harmless dislike? are those the only frames of reference for this, a useless dichotomy? speaking for myself, I know what strong sensory dislike is, and I deal with it everyday and have been applying those coping mechanisms to my repulsion, but the latter is too strong for it to be effective! and I have experienced no trauma, so how could I have a trigger, especially since my repulsion doesn’t remind me of anything? it’s just an overwhelming wash of nausea and negative emotions with a heaping dose of self-loathing because no normal person is supposed to feel so horrible because of a typical human activity. people are so quick to throw out “that sounds serious. you should seek help,” and this is certainly true if your repulsion has a definite cause, but for those of us for which that does not apply, it’s effectively impossible.

if I tell a therapist that when I was 10 I saw a disney princess and prince kiss, chaste and fanciful, and turned away, hunching my shoulders, and told myself I was too immature to understand. if I tell a therapist a week ago when my friend showed a group a tasteful nude art study she did in her sketchbook, nonsexual and really good, I hid behind a friend’s shoulders to block my view and so she wouldn’t see how sick I looked instead of complimenting her art. what in the world is that therapist going to say. with no cause, strong symptoms, and no widespread medical precedent, how could it not be very misconstrued?

it’s goddamn ridiculous!! we need actual scientific studies on this subject to determine what exactly repulsion is and how best to deal with it. but we have nothing, and we will have nothing for a very long time to come unless we do it our own-fucking-selves. I hate it. I hate that I will live with this and whatever else is going on in my hell brain for years, if not the rest of my life. I hate that it’s my comfort or someone else’s in situations like gay pda (because I’m certainly not the homophobic asshole that’s going to tell them to stop expressing their love). I hate that I’m not understood or believed except by a precious few because it’s inconceivable to most that I don’t like these “universal” human things. I hate that this makes me so bitter and so unable to enjoy things. maybe it is a mental illness, with the way it affects my life and so many others. where the hell are my happy pills, then?

[departeddestiny]

Never-Ending Survey: Kurasa Orl

Rules: Repost, do not reblog

Tagged by: @saakyo ( I know you secretly want to know all about the idiot )

Tagging: @jargals-quarters || @amberenigma || @ayyymeric || @akumeis || @kemuele

BASICS.

FULL NAME: Kurasa Orl

NICKNAME: None, if you call him ‘ Kura’ and he doesn’t know you, expect a punch.

AGE:  31

BIRTHDAY: 4th Sun of the 2nd Umbral Moon

ETHNIC GROUP: Au Ra || Xaela

NATIONALITY: Doman

LANGUAGE/S: Doman, Common Eorzean, Xaelic

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Pansexual

ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: Panromantic ( Monogamous )

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Single

HOME TOWN / AREA: Doma

CURRENT HOME:  Ul’Dah, travels a Lot

PROFESSION: Sell Sword, Bounty Hunter 

PHYSICAL.

HAIR: Umber, medium length.

EYES: Burnt orange and yellow mix || Draconic

FACE: Defined jaw, straight nose, angular features.

LIPS: Bottom lip is full with a slightly thinner upper lip.

COMPLEXION: Tanned ( more ashen than golden ), somewhat defined forehead lines from frowning, constantly bruised.

BLEMISHES: None.

SCARS:  Littered with scars, though the most defined is jagged and runs from the left shoulder down his pectoral, then stops just above his abdomen.

TATTOOS: None

HEIGHT: 7 fulms, 2 ilms ( 7′ 2″ )

WEIGHT: 260 ponz 

BUILD: Broad shoulders, muscular biceps, chiseled pecs and abs.

FEATURES: Lava scales, has a rigid posture, always has a resting bitch face.

ALLERGIES: People.

USUAL HAIR STYLE: Falls to the right, sticks up in certain places.

USUAL FACE LOOK:  Irritated, uninterested.

USUAL CLOTHING: Typically will go shirtless, but if necessary a simple white tunic, leather pants and boots.

PSYCHOLOGY.

FEAR/S: Death, loss of his sister, drowning.

ASPIRATION/S: He typically doesn’t think about the future - focused on present and keeping to his routines.

POSITIVE TRAITS: Loyal, Passionate, Lives in the moment, Cultured

NEGATIVE TRAITS:  Cynical, Sarcastic, Violent and Short-Tempered.

TEMPERAMENT: Hates to be bothered, extremely rude.

ANIMALS: Chocobo.

VICE HABIT/S: Alcohol and sex.

FAITH: Maybe Nhaama, maybe Kami.

GHOSTS?: Yes.

AFTERLIFE?: Yes.

REINCARNATION?: No.

POLITICAL ALIGNMENT: None

EDUCATION LEVEL: Had a private tutor for reading and writing, knows multiple languages, doesn’t give a damn about the rest.

FAMILY.

FATHER : Deceased

MOTHER : Deceased

SIBLINGS : One sister, alive and living in Gridania.

EXTENDED FAMILY: Sidurgu Orl, everyone else died on Orl massacre.

NAME MEANING/S: His first name means ‘ darkness ’ in traditional Japanese.

HISTORICAL CONNECTION?: One of the Orl clan, known for their deaths at the hands of Ishgard.

FAVORITES.

BOOK: He cannot say, too many.

DEITY: Dragons.

HOLIDAY: Yuletide.

MONTH: Give him snow.

SEASON: Winter.

PLACE: Waterfalls.

WEATHER:  Snowing, chilly.

SOUND / S: Rain, the rush of a waterfall, animals in the early morning.

SCENT / S: Honeysuckle, earth, blood.

TASTE / S: Sweet, crisp, musky.

FEEL / S: Aching muscles, snow against scales, a gentle touch.

ANIMAL / S: Anything.

NUMBER: 12.

COLORS: Black, gold, sky blue, black.

EXTRA.

TALENTS: Cooking, bandaging wounds, weaponry.

BAD AT: Speaking, has no idea how to hold a conversation.

TURN ONS: Good with a sword, witty. Bared muscles of any kind. A curved ass.

TURN OFFS: Someone that’s too into him, clingy, cruel.

HOBBIES: Training, climbing waterfalls, drinking tea.

TROPES: Sun and Moon, Red string of fate.

QUOTES: " I survived  because the fire inside burned brighter than the fire around me. ”

MUN QUESTIONS.

Q1 : If you could write your character your way in their own movie, what would it be called, what style would it be filmed in, and what would it be about?      

A1 :  Oh goddess, I have no idea! Probably would be something action packed, a smidge tragedy, and will include a redemption arc where he is reunited with a childhood friend and they fall in love.

Q2 :  What would their soundtrack/score sound like?          

A2 : Fast paced, maybe remixed along the lines of Lindsey Stirling, romance would be piano.

Q3 :  Why did you start writing this character?        

A3 : Fucking asshole wouldnt leave my head. He wants his story told and I can only placate him.

Q4 : What first attracted you to this character?        

A4 : The lava scale mod, to be honest! It's what started it all. My imagination ran away with me, and ultimately led to all that he is.

Q5 : Describe the biggest thing you dislike about your muse.

A5 :  He is a prick. He truly does not give people the chance they might deserve, all because his walls are sky high. I understand he is hurt but he needs to move on from the past.

Q6 :  What do you have in common with your muse?          

A6 :  We both have short triggers for our temper, haha.

Q7 :  How does your muse feel about you?        

A7 :  He thinks I lay down and accept things too easily, that I dont have enough fight in me.

Q8 : What characters does your muse have interesting interactions with?

A8 : He considers everyone a bore, though people like Elouan and Fonze arent dissuaded from bugging him, despite the foul temper. This has led to some interactions he wont soon forget. There is also 'Kyo, of whom he was friends with and well...theres history there. It's a long story and he's keeping his mouth shut.

Q9 :  What gives you inspiration to write your muse?    

A9 :  Anything, he is always there.

Q10 : How long did this take you to complete?  

A10 : Like 50 minutes? Work.

[soprone]

Some notes on my characterisation of Teddie

retreading some old ground from previous blogs but hopefully it’s better than before because i’m always getting better grasps on my muses as time goes on so pwease read with an open mind  .✫*ﾟ･ﾟ

So while my characterisation is mostly based on the english localisation of the games and anime because that’s what i’m most familiar with, i feel like teddie comes across differently than may have been intended due to dub changes. i kind of viewed him the way i do when i first played, learning about the dub changes mostly just confirmed some things about my interpretation. like of course i changed my mind about some things but so you know where I’m coming from

So something that didn’t translate very well was Teddie’s humor. He’s constantly making bad jokes that the rest of the Investigation Team doesn’t respond to. This isn’t because they’re uncomfortable with his jokes, even when they’re a bit perverted. He’s not a jerk who keeps making bad jokes that make people uncomfortable, and the Investigation Team aren’t jerks for not explaining to Teddie that it’s not okay or anything, since he’s new to human customs. It’s because he’s looking to bring others into his comedy routine with any kind of reaction, positive or negative, and the only way to discourage him is to not respond. When someone makes a bad pun, groaning and complaining about it is part of the humor they’re going for. It’s like that.

The reason this was translated poorly is because Teddie was specifically mimicking a Japanese comedy style. I kinda always saw it as dad jokes kind of humor, but learning about the original intentions made it click.

This isn’t to say Teddie never does anything perverted. Almost, honestly maybe every, Persona male acts like a pervert, contrives scenarios to provide fanservice to the player/viewer, sexually harrasses female characters for comedy or just because the writers think it’s normal. What I’m saying is, this isn’t a Teddie problem. It’s a Persona problem. I’m not excusing his actions but I don’t think he should be held to a different standard than other characters who do the exact same things. I also really hate when people call Chie (and/or the other girls) an abuser because she physically hurts the boys, because again that’s not a Chie (or other girl) problem, it’s a Persona problem with how the comedy tries to be this slapstick thing on occasion. Like I hope where I’m coming from makes sense when I say that?? No I’m not say it’s okay for Teddie to try to grope Rise, or for Chie to kick Yosuke, and similar moments. I’m acknowledging that these moments are part of the game’s humor, they’re anime characters engaging in anime nonsense in an 11 year old game. It’s bad faith criticism to judge a single piece of media or a single character by ignoring the tone of the work they’re in, holding them to the standards of the real world and also ignoring the same problems exist within similar works (for example w/ persona 4 you need to consider it within the context of other anime, other video games, all forms of media that may have directly influenced it, the state of the world (politically & pop culture wise) at the time (2008), etc., persona 4 does not exist in a vaccumn) and that exist in other characters within the same work. It’s not helpful in explaining why their behaviour and/or why making light of it/normalising it can be harmful because you aren’t examining why it’s written the way it is. Oof this bullet point got long sorry

Teddie’s character arc is not linear. He doesn’t consistently get better, and he is in fact at his most obnoxious in my opinion during the Yasogami High Culture Festival. Since his arc is about maturity, this is like his ‘rebellious stage’ where he’s a brat before growing up more, after having grown up a lot in the months before the festival. However, I can’t accept his characterisation in Persona Q. He’s pushed too far and ‘flanderized’ ike a lot of the Persona characters are in spinoffs. I adore his group date marriage event (&accept him believing he fell for the protag at first sight as a headcanon (it’s just a crush, not ‘true love’/’destiny’, though)), think the love potion quest where he downs some love potion believing it will make girls love him only to fall for Akihiko is hilarious, but that’s about it. I haven’t finished Persona Q2, but his characterization in that game is a lot better from what I’ve seen.

I believe that Teddie went through the events of Persona 4 believing that when the investigation was over, he was ‘supposed’ to go live in the midnight channel permenantly and say goodbye to his friends. A lot of his antics during the year are him pushing for some cliche high school fun experiences in order to make some memories to hold onto (he’s kind of like a player avatar in that way ?? this kind of thing is why the latest 3 Persona games are set during high school over just one year, right??). His perverted antics can be explained with the idea that he doesn’t actually expect any of these girls to fall in love with him, if he wants anything he wants a movie-style ‘summer romance’ so he doesn’t really take them / flirting with them seriously (I’m not justifying it, only providing a possible explanation). He may have just gotten lonely and came back to visit anyway, but his intention really was to leave the human world for good at the end of the game. It’s only when the IT laugh off the suggestion that he realises he was the only one who believed this, that they really think of him as part of the team and weren’t just humoring him this whole time. 

I headcanon that his perception of his friends changes and he starts to respect them (+Yosuke’s wallet) better over time after this. It’s gradual (old habits die hard!) but noticable if you pay attention. Naoto notices his maturing during the game, she’d probably be the first to catch on.

He’s bisexual and nonbinary. Though, his feelings on gender maybe can’t be compared to a normal human, he takes on an androgynous male body because he wants to be loved rather than because he feels like a man, dresses as a girl because again he wants to feel pretty and loved rather than because he feels like a woman... In Persona Q2 he volunteers himself and Chie for the power team despite struggling to lift the weights that team needs to, because Chie is insecure about being the only girl on the team and he wants to comfort her. So he’s not exactly bigender or gender fluid, he’s nonbinary and presents whichever way feels right at the time, and what feels right is based less on his own feelings and more what will hopefully make him loved or sometimes help/comfort his friends? He did not grow up like a human in a society of binary gender, it honestly doesn’t mean much to him.

He believes Kanji is attracted to him (which I see as untrue aha I sort of ship it but if he’s got a crush it’s not in the way Teddie thinks), &mimics Yosuke’s attitude about it, not seriously scared of him being predatory or anything (not realising the problem w/ Yosuke’s homophobic comments, which Yosuke quietly gets over later &is probably embarrassed about his own behaviour so he’s not gonna explain), just thinking it’s a funny way of teasing him, seeing Kanji denying him (or not knowing what the fuck Tedd’s talking about) as being tsundere. I feel like this would die down as he gets older

His one-sided rivalry with Akihiko in the Q games (ahh I know they have a hostile relationship in the Arena games but I haven’t played them so don’t know if I wanna make that canon to my Tedd, it seems like they’re too hostile) is because Akihiko is hot, has lots of fangirls, but it’s not just jealousy, he’s swooning too

I think he flirts with Goro in PQ2 because he’s told Goro is a detective prince like Naoto, it’s kinda similar to Akihiko, he follows the crowd and fangirls too. But also, Goro is a Wildcard, he doesn’t know it at this point but he may subconsciously sense it? I’ve always headcanoned him having an attraction to Wildcards, of course the P4 protag is his #1 but he’s pretty flirty with the others in the Q games

that’s it for now because this has gotten SO long, if you made it this far I love you. if you didn’t i still love you because i love humanity as a whole but i’m a little disappointed because i crave attention not gonna lie.

[mrmallardsmobileposts]

Fans & Shipping

I did a fandom post a while back that was mostly defensive of fandom and fans, while acknowledging that super-fans and stans can and do take their fandom way too goddamn far and alienate people.

But I've been a part of fandom, and with a fanfiction I'm publishing rn with a lot of ship tease in it, I'm worried that I'm going to be judged with the full fury of an active fanbase. And that's made me think about my values and my stance on fandom. Because as much as I can distance myself from fan culture due to the negativity I've experienced, I regularly engage with it. I am, for all intents and purposes, a fan. And a big part of my fandom experience has been with shipping.

So - shipping.

I understand why shipping is such a hotly contested aspect of fandom - to ship is to express a piece of yourself through a pair of characters. It's taking a piece of yourself and putting it into a character, then acting out something that means a lot to you. This can get ugly when you see this token of your self-expression being used in a way that you find jarring. I don't dislike this practice, or this reason for shipping - ultimately we're all trying to express ourselves and achieve that creative catharsis through our craft of choice. I also understand (at least one reason) why people get so defensive about ships. I get it, it happens.

With that being said, the lengths that some people go to in the name of protecting these feelings from harm? It's fucked up. Yeah, this ship may be precious to you for any number of reasons - going into a blind rage because someone doesn't share your vision of it still isn't acceptable, no matter how ingrained it is to your personality or your soul. People troll and gloat and act shitty, and that's worth a bit of backlash. But being so hurt over the thought of Person A piping Person C when you want them to pipe Person B, to the point of lashing out in anger - it's not healthy. There is a limit at which you need to step back and ask yourself if the emotions you feel are what you signed up for. There's a point where you need to wake up, shake out the cobwebs, and take a step back.

My big shipping fandom used to be Avatar: The Last Airbender. From 12 to 15, Avatar was my shit - I was around before the show ended, it was a big part of my childhood. I got caught up in shipping wars, I shipped Kataang and the "big enemy" was Zutara, and I was basically inducted into this shitty little community of shit where these two groups of shippers couldn't co-exist. But even when I was farting around this group, I was flexible in my shipping preferences.

I liked Kataang, but you know what else fucking rocked? Taang - Toph and Aang. There's one high school AU story with OCs and stuff that I ever read and enjoyed, and it was a Taang story. Another good one was Tokka - Toph and Sokka. Reminder, I was like 12 or 13 and I wasn't thinking about this like "wow theres an age gap", I was thinking about it like "I am 12 years old, and this is ~^~ROMANCE~^~". I preferred Tokka over Sukka, since I didn't watch a lot of season 2 or 3 for years. Yes, these are real ship names.

The point I'm trying to make is that even at my worst fandom periods, when I was indoctrinated with all this shipping war horseshit, I was never outright tied to a ship. I appreciated the different approaches that each ship took, I enjoyed the difference in dynamics. Yeah, Kataang was the endgame couple for me - they're sweet and they love each other and they can build a solid relationship built out if respect and love for each other. But Taang has reckless abandon being tempered by serenity, and unwavering dutifulness in turn being challenged by a selfish streak a mile wide.

It's fun to see characters affect each other like that. And Toph and Sokka were Snark Bros! Of course they'd grow up into endlessly snarking shitheads who can't fuckin spit it out already! Shipping was a way to explore and enjoy multiple facets of my personality, my tastes. It was fun.

How can you take an emotion like that - something that's meant to be sweet and good, something that's meant to make you feel good - and use it to scream at children who are half your age for not sharing your vision?

No joke - when I looked up Avatar fandom on Tumblr in 2013, there were 20 year olds stuck in the same shipping mentality that persisted when I was a kid, getting buttmad at 14 year olds for asking about the schism, for bringing fan negativity into the tag. Adults yelling at kids and treating them like shit.

When does a ship take over your life to the point that you're an actual grown-ass adult yelling at kids for not understanding it like you do? How do you become that selfish How do you stray from a path that used to make you so happy, and use it to harass and accost others?

Shipping is nice. I support shipping, I enjoy shipping. But I loathe people who take romantic pairings of fictional characters and use it to tie themselves in knots and torture themselves with grief when they're exposed to a thought they don't like. You can't keep living like that, and treating the people around you with contempt over it.

Keep in mind - I understand that ships can have problematic elements that personally repulse you or evoke personal memories that are incredibly unpleasant for you. I'm not talking about these ships, and telling you to get over the severe emotional hurdles that make the ships such a bad experience for you. Incest, underage, ships that are based on incredibly rapey undertones/overtones - all three, or any other distasteful combination of factors.

This post isn't intended to troll or shame people for hating a story about someone having sex with their siblings, for example. This is a callout post for people who see one ship, being shipped in good faith out of affection for the characters and their pairing, and have a nuclear fucking meltdown because "HOW DARE THEY WRITE HER AS DATING HIM, WHEN SHE BELONGS WITH THIS BOY INSTEAD!!!!!" Insert whichever pronouns or character names you like here, I'm speaking generally.

Also - I'm well aware that people have preferences! People find different things to love about their ships, and they can be as strict and adherent to their favorite ships as they like. Only shipping a single couple doesn't make you an asshole. It's when you see anything that dares to deviate from your one beloved path, to the point that you're feeling an urge to thrash someone over it. It's being a massive fucking douche-fuck to make people ashamed of an innocent crush they have on fictional characters, to make them afraid to express a genuine affection for what they're engaging in, because it opposes this one true path you keep bullshitting about.

In summary: fuck shipping wars, chill the fuck out. This pastime is meant to evoke positive feelings, not make you feel like vomiting. If you feel that bent out of shape over some genuine, innocent bullshit that does not, and will never, affect you outside of a small bubble of influence that you can step away from and moderate to your heart's content - step back, find something that's more emotionally enriching in your life and/or find a way to engage with your fandom on a healthy level. Getting this fucked up over shipping hurts everyone around you - but it also hurts you on a more meaningful level than you may realise.

[crystallized-shadow]

The Killer Meme

Tagged by @a-kid-named-hiro

[Me, Myself, I]

What is your philosophy/motto in life? Always try your best; you can’t always be the best but you can do your best.

How did you choose your User Name, and what does it reveal of your character? It’s my username from a different site and I really like it. I guess it could mean I’m the shiny thing in the dark?

What did you want to be “when you grew up” when you were younger? If your current job/plans are different, why did you change? I wanted to be Veterinarian when I was a kid but an allergy to dogs put a kibosh on that pretty quick.

What was the worst nightmare you have ever had? I usually don’t remember my dreams, but I can remember one where someone me shot in the back.

Tell the story behind one or more of your scars (physical, not emotional). I have several but the story is the same: I’m a fucking klutz.

What one thing would you like your great-great-grandchildren to know about you? What one thing would you NOT want them to know? I don’t intend to reproduce.

How do you learn (things-for-exams)? Re-reading notes and frantically cramming right before the exam (I do NOT recommend this method)

What was the cause of the worst physical pain you have ever been in? I slipped on the ice; over-extended two tendons, concussed a nerve, bruised my tailbone, and hurt my knee (I had to sit through 4 hours of classes before I could do anything about it, not fun)

Where do you live (a country is fine, just name a place)? USA

What is your biggest fear? Not living up to my own expectations

[Nostalgia Ain’t What It Used to Be]

What’s the coolest thing you’ve ever done? (Not the best, or the most accomplished, or the most life-altering, just the coolest). Gone tubing down the river

If you could change one event from your own personal history, what would it be and how would you change it? I let something very dear to me go, if I could change anything, I would never have made that decision

Describe the one thing you have learned in the course of your education, either inside school or outside of it, which you consider the most valuable. Actions speak louder than words, especially among people who are supposed to be your friends.

What memory would call up your personal Patronus spell? (in other words, what memory is your happiest or sweetest?) Any memory featuring my precious people happy

Describe the three best pairs of shoes that you’ve ever owned - favorites because of comfort, the way they look, the brand, any reason at all. Any shoes that I don’t have to tie are fucking amazing

[If I Ruled the World]

If you could have been born and grown up somewhere else, where would that have been? I liked where I grew up, so I wouldn’t change it

What would you demand in exchange for giving up your personal freedoms and civil liberties? Would never give them up

If there were no laws, which (former) crime would be the first you’d commit? I’d make all student loans disappear forever!

If you could do one thing or grant one wish for someone else, what would it be? I’d wish that those near and dear to my heart be happy for the rest of their lives

If you could know anything about your future, what would it be? If I’m happy with my life

Owing to a peculiar concatenation of events, you are the wealthiest person in the world, and the latter will end in 24 hours. Money being no object, and saving the world being impossible, what would you do during that last day? I’d make it the best day ever for everyone I care about. If we’re all going to die we might as well go out with a bang!

If you could hunt down one childhood tormentor (whether it be bully, tattletale, mean teacher, or friend’s mother who hated you for no good reason) and exact revenge upon them in some spectacular, prankish fashion without worry of consequences, who would you choose, and what would you do to him/her? That’s hard to say since karma has taken care of a few of these people. There is one person I’d love to slap in the back of the head for being incompetent when I got hurt, so I guess I’d do that.

If I offered you a chance to have anything you wanted, the cost being someone you didn’t know dies, would you accept? If I could stipulate the that person has to be a piece of shit that no one will miss, then hell yeah! Otherwise I’d have to give it some thought.

If you could have any one superpower, what would it be? Time travel

If you could punch any one person from any point in history, who would you pick? I have a list of people that deserve a good punch in the face

If you were given the opportunity to live another life, what kind of life would you like to have? I’d want a life where I could be happy and not have to worry about anyone hurting me or those close to me

If you could alter history in one specific place, where would it be, and why? Stopping someone close to me from ever dating the fucking whore who did nothing but fuck them over

Assuming you (or a group of friends) conquer Earth, which section(s) of the planet would you personally desire, and why? Somewhere quiet with good wi-fi so we could have a place to relax

If you could, with no repercussions, subject anyone you wanted to one day of utter and complete torture, who would you choose, why would you choose them, and what would you do to them? Conversely, if you could give anyone you wanted (other than yourself) one day of perfect happiness, who/why/what would you choose? The fucking whore I mentioned earlier, I would subject her to a day of torture, without hesitation.

It might be cliche, but my mom deserves the best fucking day ever so I would pick her.

[Media and Culture]

Hollywood called: they’re filming your life story. Who do you cast as yourself? I would just laugh and hang up the phone

They want to make your life into a Cartoon. Which graphic artist do you want to draw it? Not sure why anyone would want to do that, but I would pick @sinyaru or @artbythedarkside because I fucking love their art!

Your favourite Blackadder episode and why? ???

Movie adaptations of books - heinous, evil and always disappointing or perfectly acceptable? It really depends on the book and the actors they pick

What one song brings up the strongest emotion (negative or positive) for you? Hold Me Tight or Don’t by Fall Out Boy Killing Kind by Mariana’s Trench

If you had the choice to live in any fictional world, as in transposed into a book, which one would it be? Please explain why. Naruto, preferably during the Fonder’s Era because I want to me Madara and Tobirama! Also ninjas.

What is your favorite artwork (painting, sculpture, etching, whatever) and why? I can’t say I have a favorite piece, but personally I enjoy painting.

Name twelve songs for the soundtrack of your life. (In no particular order)

1. Boulevard of Broken Dreams (Green Day) 2. Stay Frosty Royal Milk Tea (Fall Out Boy) 3. THNKS FR TH MMRS (Fall Out Boy) 4. It’s My Life (Bon Jovi) 5. High Hopes (Panic! At the Disco) 6. Natural (Imagine Dragons) 7. Teenagers (My Chemical Romance) 8. Head Above Water (Avril Lavigne) 9. I Don’t Care (Fall Out Boy) 10. Numb (Linkin Park) 11. Victorious (Panic! At the Disco) 12. Get Out Alive (Three Days Grace)

If you could have only five cds, which would they be? No burned cds count - only ones you physically purchase in a store/online. (In no particular order)

1. Mania (Fall Out Boy) 2. Phantoms (Mariana’s Trench) 3. Save Rock and Roll (Fall Out Boy) 4. Them vs. You vs. Me (Finger 11) 5. Pray For The Wicked (Panic! At the Disco)

Batman or Superman? Loki

What fictional character do you most identify with and why? If I had to pick I would say maybe Tobirama Senju. I can come across as cold, will do odd things to satisfy curiosity, and my intentions can be misinterpreted by those that don’t know me.

[The Completely Hatstand Section]

True or false: pineapple on pizza is wrong. False.

If you were a color, what would you be and why? Black or red, they are my favorites.

If you could be an inanimate object, what would you be and why? A dictionary so no one would use me

Assuming reincarnation exists, who do you think you may have been in a past life? How would you like to come back in the next? The running joke in my family is I was a pirate in my past life because my alcohol of choice, when I drink, is rum. I’d like to come back as a cat so I can be lazy and knock shit over XD

If you were a weapon, what would you be and why? A katana because they are badass

Do you wear orange? Why/Why not? Not really, it’s just not a color I own a lot of.

If you could ask your deity of choice one question and have it answered, what would you ask? I’m honestly not sure, maybe what’s the secret to the universe?

True/False: Green buffalos come from Albania. (seriously, now.) Um, false?

[Fair Trades and Dilemmas]

If remaining a virgin (or abstaining from sex) for the rest of your life would allow you to do real magic, would you do it? Fuck yeah! Magic is fucking awesome!

How much money would it take for you to appear naked (full-frontal) for five seconds on national television? A fuck ton of money, like more money than currently exists; I am very self-conscious.

Would you rather be a complete idiot with a charming personality, or intellectually brilliant but have no friends? I’d rather be intellectually brilliant, because my true friends would still be my friends, regardless of how smart I am.

You can start any business of your choice, whether for-profit or non-profit, regardless of whether this business exists practically in the world or not and whether there’s an existing business model to make your chosen business work or not. Irrespective of what it is, it will start off moderately successfully and eventually become very successful. You will make a very satisfactory wage and your investors/sponsors will be very pleased with your work. What business would you start? Some online business that rivals Amazon.

Would you sacrifice an unknown portion of your life so that a loved one could live for one more year? Without a doubt

Tagging @theintellectualweeb @sinyaru @artbythedarkside and whoever else wants to do it

[oppressiveliberator]

What are things Ghetsis likes to do in his spare time? Does he have anything in particular that he really enjoys doing that most wouldn’t know about? (Like. Knitting or some hobby type thing like that.)

Hobbies, huh. . . .

Ghetsis is a very goal-oriented person. Back when he was Plasma Boss and all, he wasn't really one for many hobbies--he certainly enjoyed doing things in his free time now and then, but by the time he'd adopted N, he was putting most of his free time into Plasma and advancing his goals and such.

But like I said, he did enjoy things now and then!

((snip snip unless you’re on mobile in which case as always I am sorry--maybe i should start putting these into multiple posts instead of singular big ones?  lmao

Also brief mentions of I think abuse, Pokémon abuse, torture??  i don’t think there was anything else triggering in there but i’m also too lazy to reread it lmao))

Ghetsis loves to read. He most enjoys nonfiction--true crime, history, religion, culture, Pokémon, human psychology, science, world news; Ghetsis really loves just about anything that can teach him something new. He's all about doing lots and lots of research, too, and he's actually well versed in old languages, too, especially old Unovan. He made a cypher for translating(and even taught Zinzolin how to read it a bit! In fact, Zinzolin is the one who has the Old Unovan linguistic work he's done atm because he can't let go of his boyfriend's old things) But he also likes a good fiction novel--crime, historic, alternate history, adventure, thriller, horror. . .he's picky about fantasy and science fiction and romance, but he'll read them now and then too.

While he's not really that into it, he does watch a lot of TV lately. He has days where he's pretty much immobile, so something he can just lie down and watch is nice to at least keep him from just sleeping all day. His taste in TV and movies is pretty similar to his taste in books. However, he's not much of a TV person and it's more something he just kind of accepts as what he 'has to' do nowadays. Sometimes he just. Doesn't have the energy to turn pages in a book. But entertainment is always better than boredom.

In his current state, Ghetsis doesn't really do much daydreaming or quiet contemplation, because ultimately it leads to a heavy slew of negative thoughts and emotions and makes him feel terrible. But in the past, he spent much of his time thinking about the world, plotting, planning. Lately if he does anything it's daydream or dissociate but. The latter isn't really, y'know, a hobby or something he really wants to do.

Music! Is one of his highest interests!! The Harmonia family is a very musical and artistic one, so he was surrounded by music and taught to sing and play instruments since he was in diapers. He doesn't think of himself as being able to play instruments nowadays. . .even though he still played now and then when he lost most usage of his arm, so long as it obviously didn't really require both hands or a need for both could be worked around. At present he's more into listening to music than anything--and his tastes are far more variant than you'd expect, as he's able to find some enjoyment in most any genre. He's started to sing more lately, too, although since his voice is often poor, he hates to do it and have to hear how terrible he sounds. But after Bede told him not to be discouraged over it and that some practice would surely restore his voice to its former glory, he's been singing to himself a bit more in an attempt to get his vocal chords back in decent condition.

(The unexpected part of this is when you find him singing old pop songs. . . . . . . .)

Ghetsis is, despite being antisocial as far as his personality/mindset/comfort levels, actually quite outgoing and enjoys people's company and talking to them, watching them. He loves social events and crowds and being around people--although he also hates it because, well, everyone is below him and the world around them is usually disgusting. But he quite likes company, especially from interesting and intelligent people, and he's playfully flirtatious too. While he prefers to do the talking and teaching, he's not against listening if somebody catches his attention and, again, Ghetsis has an insatiable desire for knowledge. Oh and socializing doesn't always have to be positive, either! He l o v e s to harass his protags. He likes to disturb people and make them afraid and uncomfortable and upset. He'd probably be an internet troll now and then if he bothered with internet socializing.

(Also, Ghetsis fucks to survive is a hedonist. So having people around means getting laid when he wants to. And how can he say no to being attended to and having his body worshipped and pleasured? To the power that comes with controlling someone else's pleasure, making their whole body respond with a mere touch, sometimes even less?)

As of late he also quite enjoys taking walks when he can--and while he's still beginning to accept it, he has started taking his wheelchair out(though, not in the regular world, only in the magic plane he’s hiding on) if he can't do his own walking and just enjoying the world outside. He. . .misses it.

He actually is very well travelled and he loves travelling, visiting new places, learning new things in person, going on expeditions and to archaeological sites and ruins and historic places. . .! Up until BW he travelled a good amount and enjoyed the bounties and interests his the world had to offer, practical or not. He likes himself a good time and experiences. Of course it lessened when he acquired his kids, especially N. And nowadays he hardly even leaves the house, let alone the region, though with the way his magic hideaway works(rather, doesn't work) he can wind up travelling by accident simply because it isn't stable enough not to move around.

And, of course there's magic. Ghetsis habitually draws little magic circles and things here and there, little spells to store magic or discourage nightmares or encourage remembering things. If he's idly tracing something on a table that's probably why. If he's idly tracing something on a person, that's probably why--in particular, he'd 'bless' N with safety when he went outside, or put magic on him that would ideally 'lock' his mind somewhat so he wasn't influenced by the outside world and had his plans ruined. Ghetsis does rituals every now and then(there used to be some cultish stuff in Team Plasma. . .maybe. . .but rituals aren't necessarily cultish, just like regularly done things) and magical cleanses, protection for his own spaces, charging the crystals and things he has around, and practices little bits of magic here and there just so he knows he can still do it. Now and then he tries to learn or develop new magic, but he's really not in the best condition for good magic usage. It certainly doesn't stop him but, y'know, tries to keep playing with fire to a minimum lest he burn his house down.

Of course, these are mostly things he does at present. . .with the strokes and the weakness in his body and the problems with his cognition and mind in general. . .his options are lessened in his opinion. His depression and lessened will to live make it hard for him to do even those things--let alone some of the things he used to do.

Sports are among the things he'd done in the past--namely basketball(just kinda happens when you're over 6ft tall.) He gave his old ball to N to teach him to play, but back then he could still play, one arm or not. Nowadays he has trouble even sitting up let along standing, running, and he's still accepting that he needs a wheelchair now and then when he can't get around so easily himself, so wheelchair basketball isn't something he'd even consider trying. Playing basketball? Tennis? Hell, any sport? He can't even consider it. He hates watching sports now. Whereas he used to love to do so because he could watch Unovan teams VS other regions and feel proud and cheer for Unova and so on, but now he can't stand it because it makes him think of how he used to be.

One of the things he did a lot up until the end of BWB2W2, was, of course, train his Pokémon, care for them, sometimes even play with them. They needed exercise and enrichment, and keeping them in fighting and killing shape was a high priority, both for enjoyment/entertainment and for the sake of having strong Pokémon. But now his Pokémon are all gone. . .and he resents all Pokémon for it and his hostility towards them all has increased. If anything at present, he takes even greater delight in hurting Pokémon than he had in the past.

Public speaking, debating, evangelizing, convincing people of Plasma's ways, giving and writing speeches was also a hobby he enjoyed. Usually, however, he winged his speeches, simply spoke from his cunning heart. Of course, if he tried to do something like that today. . .well, someone would call interpol and it'd be a whole thing. . .he does talk to himself a even more than he used to now, but it's not the same.

Punishing and teaching Plasma's members and anyone they decided to. . .host for a while, so they could learn the truths and come to know Team Plasma's might and perspective. . .being able to torment captives, seeing the hope leave somebody's eyes, god. He misses power. He misses victims. He misses taking out his frustrations on somebody locked in his dungeons, beating them and spitting on them and showing them how above them he was, torturing them--. . .expressing his power, he never really gets to do it anymore. . . . Harming others. . .even less. . .and what power, authority, strength does he have to at present anyways. . . . .

Training members of Plasma and their Pokémon, using the Pokémon they'd liberated for various behind the scenes work like building the castle, abusing people and Pokémon alike, really he found such bliss in it. Yes, it was something he kept quite quiet about or explained away until Neo Plasma--after all, nobody knew of his plans and intentions until he was defeated--but that didn't mean he didn't enjoy it.

Unexpected things. . .hm. he's pretty adventurous so I'm sure he's tried lots of things, but ultimately discarded them as things to do often for one reason or another. Knitting he can't see himself doing, one hand and all.

When N was younger, he actually took care of the human dolls and toys he gave him, since n mostly cared about the pokémon ones and was neglectful towards the human ones. Which was what was intended! But it irked Ghetsis's sense of perfectionism to see them all messed up, so he'd do their hair and dress them and so on just so they were in order and not a messy pile in the corner.

Ghetsis liked visiting dig sites and such, but he also enjoyed personally going on expeditions now and then too! He'd been planning one to the Abyssal Ruins for some time, but it never came to fruition. . . .

Since he was so well researched and did lots of discovering things himself, he’s written academic papers and things of that nature too.  Spreading his knowledge is always great.

Sciences piqued his interests sometimes, although that may not be a surprise. It's probably even less of a surprise that he was interested in experimentation on people and Pokémon--he was usually eager to let Colress do as he pleased as a result.

OH RIGHT ALSO! COLLECTING STUFF!! In particular things relating to or supposedly relating to legendary and mythical Pokémon and extinct ones too and history/legends and other unique things--stuff like feathers from legendary birds or orbs or gems said to strengthen or summon them and stuff like that. . .! He has a raw keystone, but he's not super aware of what it is since Mega Evos only really have recently come into common knowledge and he wasn’t in Kalos to learn about that in particular at the time, so he just thinks it's a cool kalosian rock with a strong life energy.

Tbh idk about any unexpected hobbies for him. . .tbf i also have like. No hobbies of my own. So this is kind of a hard question for me because doing things in your spare time??? I can't even bring myself to do things when o have to do them! Lmao.

He's abandoned a lot of his hobbies and interests. It kinda comes with being old and disabled and depressed and losing your will to live. He's feeling a bit better as of the start of the blog recent--so he's getting a bit active again, but. . .he's still not used to being "incapable" and it gets between him and doing anything for fun.

But hopefully this answer satisfied! And if not, if you're curious about anything in particular, send another ask my way!!

[deltaengineering]

Bummer Anime 2018 Part 2: shoujo to the rescue

It got better, mostly because it could hardly get worse. That doesn’t mean it was a smooth ride, of course. I would like to state, for the record, that I’m not trying to be the funny guy who hates everything here; the season’s just that unusually bad. As before, the source for the ad copy at the end of each block is this.

Asobi Asobase

What: A bunch of assholes play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

✅ It’s another exuberant comedy, and unlike Chio-chan, I can’t catch this one on the execution: It has the technical chops and honestly good comedic timing.

❌❌ Initially wants to make you believe it’s a pleasant cute girls doing cute things show, but what it actually is is a brutally annoying and ugly explosion in the reactionface factory. Since the production values are there, it’s rather too good at that.

❌❌ I was trying to compare it to something, and the best I could come up with was rage comics. Yeah, it’s anime rage comics. It’s that bad.

❌❌ I would feel more benevolent towards it if it were shorter, but at full length its high energy screaming based assault is mostly just tiresome.

♎ This is one of those rare shows where even I will say your mileage may vary. It’s really good at what it does, but I hate everything it does. Hooray for the subversion, but at the end of the day you’re still annoying and ugly.

ANN sez: “It's this exact mix of stupid crassness and innocent naiveté that I think truly defines high-school life, and Asobi Asobase nails it perfectly. “

Hyakuren no Haou to Seiyaku no Valkyria

What: A smartphone with a light novel protagonist attached time travels to the bronze age, establishes a incest-fascist harem regime with the power of Wikipedia.

❌❌ read the synopsis again please

❌❌ there’s more idiocy than that, believe it or not (ex.: smartphone hotline to his actual imouto, for the feels), but I haven’t got all day.

❌❌ Basing your isekai shit on “history” (i.e., a LN author’s idiotic idea of history) instead of an MMO or whatever only serves to piss me off even more.

❌❌ Actually not better than Isekai Smartphone, which makes it one of the worst anime episodes I have ever seen. Congratulations. The only thing it has over Death March is that it doesn’t spend 80% of the time in menus, but it makes menus look pretty good so it’s a wash.

ANN brainfarts: “Yuuto also seems to be limiting his phone searches to historically accurate things as well, which shows that he's really thinking about the fact that he's in the past – no one's inventing the rocket here, they're just learning to grind grain and use the phalanx formation for battles.”

Phantom in the Twilight

What: Chinese girl travels to London, inadvertently inherits her great-grandma’s vampire harem. 

✅ Step 1 of every otome harem appraisal is determining how much of a wet blanket the protagonist is; Ton here is pretty spunky and even gets to kick some ass, so well done on that.

✅ Some of the right kind of nonsense for my taste, stuff like chav goblins and Jiangshi with miniguns is always appreciated.

✅ Random shows ending up with bizarre minimal techno soundtracks is still something that I approve of.

❌ Still not the glorious kind of nonsense that Dance With Devils had, nor the disregard of actual romance in favor of comedy that Dame x Prince exhibited. It’s an otome-ass otome harem and that’s not inspiring confidence for the long term.

❌ Looks cheap, and that won’t be getting any better.

ANN sez: “The fantasy worldbuilding here also felt far more sturdy than in many similar shows; this isn't a world where the Good Fantasy Guys fight the Bad Fantasy Guys, this is a world where creatures like goblins and spriggans and werewolves all exist, all possess their own cultures and priorities, and uneasily rub shoulders with each other.”

Jashin-chan Dropkick

What: Demon snake girl wants to murder the chuuni gothloli that summoned her, gets owned right back.

❌❌ It’s the second coming of Dokuro-chan, with every punchline being torture. Quite literally for the characters, and consequently for the audience as well.

❌❌ Needless to say, the entire cast (there’s some additional supernatural babes, none of which make much of an impression) are jerks and the show being wantonly mean-spirited towards them does not cancel that out. 

❌ Somehow the second anime about eating reptile ass in recent memory. But Maidragon, as lame as it was, wasn’t as terrible as this. Jashin-chan won’t get into insipid family feels any time soon, but the alternative is worse.

ANN sez: “If this is your taste in humor, it may be worth giving a second episode to see if it starts pulling that off.”

Kyoto Teramachi Sanjou no Holmes

What: Handsome genius antique dealer appraises old pottery and his assistant’s soul.

✅ I have to admit that if you somehow decided to make a otome version of Sherlock without anything so crass as murder, this is how you’d do it. It works.

✅ The leading pair has simple but effective chemistry.

✅ The studio behind it has mostly done porn OVAs before, which is the kind of meta-humor I can get behind.

❌ Based on a series of novels, so naturally the talkytalk gets out of hand.

❌ Doesn’t have the highest budget, tries to make up for it with rainbow-colored garishness. Not a dealbreaker but it could get tiresome.

ANN sez: “While Yagashira cuts a handsome figure as the bishonen, Aoi has more of an ordinary appearance – perhaps deliberately so, since I suspect that the source novels were originally aimed at female audiences.”

Shinya! Tensai Bakabon

What: Showa-era gag manga gets on air again after decades, repeatedly points out how hilarious that is.

❌ Beat-for-beat the same first episode concept as Osomatsu-san.

❌ The main difference is that Bakabon is more willing to look old as fuck, but when they arrive at the non-ruse look at the end of the episode, it’s the same as the non-ruse look that Osomatsu-san ended up at the end of its own first episode.

❌  So guess what, constantly takes potshots at Osomatsu-san, despite being a blatant ripoff of it.

❌❌ When it doesn’t reference Things You Know (if you’re a middle-aged Japanese salaryman), it references its own sorry showa-era gag manga self.

❌❌ I didn’t even like Osomatsu-san but this is an embarrassment.

♎ On the bright side, not as likely to provide fujos with incest shipping material. I fully expect to be proven painfully wrong on this.

ANN sez: Nothing. Way too Japanese for them, I suppose. 

Angolmois - Genkou Kassenki

What: Historical action show wherein a bunch of misfits in medieval Japan fight the Mongols.

✅ Fairly decent action and animation thereof.

✅ Characters seem alright for this sort of thing. Maybe a bit too tryhard violent for my tastes, but that’s still within acceptable parameters.

❌❌ The looks are ruined in postproduction. I could live with the heavyhanded color correction, but what really kills it is the same omnipresent static paper texture over every single shot. It’s bad when it doesn’t change between shots but it’s devastating when it doesn’t move along with zooms and pans, which this show has a lot of.

❌❌ Seriously, I haven’t seen anything as senselessly destroyed by a single AfterEffects layer since Garo: Vanishing Line’s Parkinsonscam, but at least that only affected impact frames. Here it’s literally every frame. Delete that PNG you damn fools.

❌ So yeah, it’s okay-ish but that’s not enough to survive one boneheaded executive decision that’s impossible to ignore. It just comes out as a net negative.

ANN sez: “From its beautifully animated, choreographed, and directed fight scenes to its generally dynamic compositions and keen understanding of visual economy, Angolmois is a visually stunning production.”

Lord of Vermilion - Guren no Ou

What: Tokyo gets enveloped in red mist which raptures most of the population and turns the rest into JRPG characters. They start fighting, we promise.

❌ Has the shape of an obvious Persona clone, but isn’t one; it’s actually based on an arcade CCG. So the source material isn’t very classy to begin with.

❌❌ Haphazardly thrown together so it’s hard to care about anything, especially not the characters.

❌❌ Opens with a flashforward to the climax, so we know this will just end up as overdesigned dudes and dudettes having allegedly epic battles that the show can’t afford to make look good, but can afford to make very red. Thanks for the heads up, I guess.

❌ So it’s quite bad, and not even funny-bad like Caligula was.

ANN sez: “There are always a few action shows like this every season, and they're always entirely overshadowed by that season's versions of shows like My Hero Academia and Banana Fish”

Grand Blue

What: City slicker moves to a beach town expecting to end up in Amanchu; ends up in Animal House instead.

❌❌ Say it with me: Every punchline is the protagonist making a shocked face at dumb meatheads doing something stupid.

♎ For something that I feel like I should hate every second of, I actually didn’t hate it all that much. I even thought it was mostly sort of enjoyable. I don’t really know what exactly does it but I can offer some ideas:

✅ While the punchlines (well, punchline) may be bad, the jokes themselves aren’t. This is a real sitcom with larger-scale comedic setups than you usually see in anime, jokes build upon each other and keep escalating.

✅ Sleazy fratboy humor about partying hard and drinking like an idiot isn’t very profound, but rare at least in anime. And it’s amusing that the overall conceit is that it’s preventing iyashikei from taking place. Novelty counts for something. 

✅ Manages to build awkward comedic situations about buff dudes with their dicks out without resorting to the same old gay panic jokes. Just regular panic, no homo.

✅ Makes a good Friday beach bum combo with Harukana Receive, which incidentally also got better by embracing its more prurient side.

ANN sez: “If Grand Blue Dreaming has a major Achilles heel, its that it isn't self-aware enough to recognize when a joke has run its course. ”

Happy Sugar Life

What: Yandere sociopath adopts a preteen girl (from a parking lot). It’s cute, only not.

✅ Is fully aware that everyone in this show is an asshole and is honestly trying for subversive. At least on the surface.

✅ Goes all on on the imagery, which works. At least on the surface.

❌❌ Simply exploiting the contrast between cuteness and insanity got old about a decade ago; this cranks up the presentation on both sides but doesn’t really add anything new.

❌❌ About as mean-spirited and unpleasant as Mahou Shoujo Site, while having even less to say. 

❌ Doesn’t seem like it’s going anywhere; it’s just going to be the main character pwning other people that are just as flamboyantly fucked up as she is, but not as good at it. Starting with a flashforward to the (very edgy, of course) ending like Lord of Vermilion doesn’t help either. And even if they end up rusemanning what is implied there it won’t be much better.

ANN sez: “Happy Sugar Life was on my list of most-anticipated anime this season because its combination of disparate elements seemed so utterly perverse that I was curious to see how they could possibly fit together.“

Shoujo Kageki Revue Starlight

What: Girls slowwalk in an academy for stage arts by day, get into metaphorical superbattles by night.

✅✅ What can I say, it’s Love Live x Marimite with a glossy coating of Ikuhara-style operatics. A total deltabait concept if I’ve ever seen one.

✅ Clones the storytelling approach of Ikuhara but not many of his specific directing mannerisms; Since I’m tired of the latter but a sucker for the former, this is a good thing.

✅ In a similar vein, this trades Ikuhara’s functional ciphers for actual characters and his enigmatic arthouse plots for something that obviously makes sense. 

✅ How gay? So gay.

❌ Has the opposite problem of Grand Blue: This is a show that should blow me away, but doesn’t. In fact, if it didn’t bring the big damn musical theater complete with one of the best and most appropriate henshins I’ve ever seen near the end, I’d say it was fairly lame.

❌ Probably has something to do with that in the course of casualizing Ikuhara, the “real” world ended up too bland and the characters too generic. I get that it’s for contrast, but it can be done far better (see Yorimoi for an example).

✅ In any case, it still seems easily worth watching even if it’s not as good as it could be. Maybe it’ll even get better.

ANN sez: “All I can say for certain is that it comes completely out of nowhere, and that it raises all kinds of questions about what kind of series this is going to be.“

Yuragi-sou no Yuuna-san

What: Impoverished ghost hunter checks into a haunted hot spring and interacts with the harem that happens to live there.

❌ As generic a 90s ecchi harem comedy as they come; my correspondents tell me that this is extremely reminiscent of Love Hina. Shockingly it’s actually based on a 2016 manga, but you wouldn’t be able to tell.

❌ As such, an abundance of accidental boobplants and other saucy accidents makes up the bulk of what’s going on this show.

✅ The main ghost girl is fairly cute; The main dude is also relatively bearable and has at least one good joke in his backstory (which I won’t spoil), so the core dynamic is surprisingly fine. If the rest of the harem weren’t there, this wouldn’t be such a bad setup. 

❌ Features those dastardly breast-hiding light rays, reportedly even in the AT-X version. This doesn’t affect a large part of the show (the majority is more like the cap above), but boobies are probably still the only reason anyone cares about any of this.

♎ Certainly not good, but the lame shit of yore is not what I’m going to spend energy getting mad at in 2018. The 24 minutes I’m ever going to spend with it felt more nostalgic than anything.

ANN sez: “Ninja girl Sagiri comes off the worst from the situation, with nearly all of her dialogue spent promising to beat the crap out of anyone who doesn't measure up to her moral code. I imagine there must be more to her and the rest of the supporting cast than what we've seen so far, but at the moment they seem an awful lot like stock characters.”

Sirius the Jaeger

What: A broody werewolf and his team of assorted bad dudes hunt vampires in 30s Tokyo.

✅✅ Looks ace, this is an action show with deluxe everything. It better, because being directed by Masahiro Ando is pretty much the start and end of this show’s unique selling points.

✅ Interwar Tokyo with a bit of a gothick twist is a cool setting, and this show can afford to portray it properly.

❌ Seriously though... edgy vampires and edgier werewolves. Come on, son.

❌ Just like Banana Fish, this is a highly polished implementation of something that fundamentally isn’t very interesting to me.

✅ I’d still take it over Fanana Bish because this doesn’t seem to take itself so bloody seriously and is far more comfortable with just being moody action schlock. It’s also less showoffy, believe it or not. What else are you going to watch? Sirius the Jaeger is what you’re going to watch. Sorry.

ANN sez: They only have a preview from Anime Expo, and that boils down to “The second episode is where things start to get interesting.“ I sure hope so.

Well, we got a few acceptable shows in if nothing else, I’ll leave it up to you to figure out which ones those are. I’m cutting my losses here, see you in three months for a hopefully more bountiful season.

[maidenoftheforestlight-blog]

You are literally a disgusting degenerate thinking that a young fucking child is "exploring her own desires" by trying to deal with a grown man who has threatened to rape her. I bet you gross ass would think that the creep who kidnapped poor Elizabeth Smart was just trying to keep her safe. The irony of having a problem with incest but not with pedophilia you piece of shit freak.

Firstly, I want you to know that I don’t appreciate this abuse or this accusation and the sheer hatefulness of this post, the fact that you went on a personal attack over shipping, is both a ridiculous overreaction and grounds for being blocked.

But I’m going to give you a chance and try to reason with you first. Because, rather like Sansa, I like to believe the best of people. I think you’re better than how you’ve presented yourself. 

 Now, I feel like if you’re going to treat these characters as if they were actually real people in a real world that plays by the rules of modern society you would find an incestuous relationship between siblings (and as a person who comes from a family of adoptees- not that that’s your business- the fact that they’re really cousins makes no difference to me. They are siblings and love each other as siblings) just as abhorrent as a potential future relationship between Sansa and Sandor… two people who regardless of their age difference have made a huge (overwhelmingly positive) impact on each other and canonically have a relationship with romantic tension.

 If you have a problem with the Sansan romance, take it up with GRRM… he’s the one writing it into the series. There are a lot of couples with big age differences in the asoiaf universe (e.g Jaime and Brienne have exactly the same age gap). If you’re ok with cousin incest because of “medieval times were different” (an assumption on my part, I know. I actually have no idea why you’re ok with incest in this fictional world but I’m going to also go ahead an assume that you’re not ok with incest in reality… A courtesy you unfortunately have not extended to me) then it strikes me as odd that you’re not also ok with GRRM’s use of “big age gaps were common back then”… especially since both things actually aren’t really all that historically accurate to most of medieval Europe… Certainly not as general practices like they are in Westeros. 

Most Sansan shippers ship this relationship because of Sansa’s actual feelings and character development that arise out of this relationship. And no… there’s nothing wrong with people who were also once thirteen year olds reading into the fact that a thirteen year old is exploring her own desires and sexuality through fantasies about an older person that authority figures wouldn’t consider appropriate for her… Because most of us were thirteen years old once (or are thirteen years old now) and most of us had crushes or fantasies about people we could never be with (or even should never be with! gasp!). But here’s the thing about fantasy and fiction, they allow us to explore sides of ourselves that we must otherwise repress. For young women in particular, fantasy can serve to free us (at least in our minds) from the constraints of “socially approved” expressions of sexuality or desire. 

For a character like Sansa whose arc is so concerned with the role of women in society and the acceptable expression of femininity, as well as thoroughly policed and controlled female sexuality… It’s important that her “sexual awakening” is prompted not by some kind of Westerosi ideal of masculinity, not at all by a man that any traditional Westerosi Patriarch would choose for his daughter, not by the handsome golden prince of the fairytales Sansa was spoon fed from infancy- the very stories that blinded her to much of what is wrong with her society… No, rather than that shining paragon of Westerosi patriarchal culture, Sansa becomes attracted to Sandor Clegane. A man that for all his many faults (and no one denies that he has many) is also truly a victim of the system, of childhood abuse and neglect, who has never known kindness or compassion, who has been dehumanised by everyone on account of a deformity caused by his own brother (a brother who was rewarded by society rather than punished!) to the point that he is called a dog and treated like a dog… like a Beast, in fact. Because that is what GRRM is reconstructing here; the Beauty and the Beast story. What makes a man become a Beast? What about Beauty triggers change in him? What about Beast makes Beauty start to feel for him…and later fall for him? To see the man hidden behind the ugliness? These are the things GRRM is examining.

Regardless of what you want to believe anon, young teen girls do have sexual fantasies… a good number of them have such fantasies about people way older than them… It’s a thing. If that resonates with a reader who is or was a teenaged girl, that doesn’t make them “disgusting” or a “pedophile”, not does it make GRRM a pedophile. Just as I am sure you do not promote the acceptance of incest in the real world, I think you should really open your mind to the possibility that just because someone finds a fictional relationship with a large age gap interesting, and would like to see where the author takes that relationship in future (keeping in mind that Sansa would likely have been 18 or older by the time she was reunited with Sandor if GRRM had been able to stick to his original plan), it doesn’t mean they even like or accept relationships with large age gaps in reality, even between adults. Accusations of pedophilia are just beyond the pale. You have no idea what people behind the computer screen have gone through in their lives or what their friends, family, acquaintances or colleagues have gone through. You just don’t know. I would ask that you stop to think more carefully before you post any kind of serious accusation like that to anyone again. Especially over anything so trivial as preferences in shipping in a fantasy series. 

Lastly, I know you sent me this message anonymously with the intention that I would “fight back” and get into some kind of argument with you. Maybe you thought I would sling insults back at you and also accuse you of horrible, sick crimes. I’m sorry that I haven’t provided you with that entertainment. That kind of drama simply doesn’t interest me and further more, I think it is beneath both of us as rational human beings who are capable of understanding the difference between fiction and reality. I seriously considered not replying at all and simply blocking you, but I decided not to do that in the end. Because I believe in giving people the chance to prove that they can be better than their negative first impression. So I leave it up to you. If you want to discuss literature with me like a rational, polite, adult, then I’m willing to put this behind us.

But I do not suffer trolls. If you post hateful messages to me again you will be blocked. 

Have a nice day.