#where I got no idea sometimes I think I get it but then someone else comes along and says the total opposite so REALLY no idea lmao
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"You're not going, love."
To my eyes, my husband still looks the part. All right, his eyes aren't god-touched gold anymore, and he's got some gray in his long locs, but he still has the stance and the muscles and the air of a hero about him. Ciraith Dawnflame, they called him. Everyone assumes he died killing the Scourge of the World.
The thing about a true hero is that they are a frankly terrifying mixture of compassionate and utterly pigheaded stubborn, and sometimes that's a mixture that can reach someone who thought that he'd killed every last particle of light within his body and soul. Like me. "Why am I not going?" I grouse.
"Old haunts, old stones, places where the worst of it happened, I'm worried that they're going to start to—" Ciraith searches for words. "Whisper to you."
He's not entirely wrong. Some kinds of magic cling. "I can fight it."
"I know you'll fight it every inch of the way. I also know that fighting things doesn't guarantee that you'll win."
Harsh, but realistic. "What do you think I should do, then? Some second-rate asshole using my magical remnants to make some two-bit empire—I mean, whatever you can say about me, I went down that path for complicated reasons. Not, 'ooh, wouldn't it be nice for people to call me Milord.' I'm not going to let someone open the gates again, Cir. Not an option. And if I can't remember the more compassionate reasons as I get closer, I'll bring the pipsqueak down because nobody eclipses my name as the Scourge."
"You keep saying 'I' a lot," Ciraith notes, reaching up to the top cupboard of our kitchen. He's an inch taller than me, and I'm not a small man. Six foot six to my six foot five. You have no idea how much I used to resent that.
"What else should I be saying? I won't—"
I stop as I realize what he's gotten down. Carefully wrapped, of course. That fucking sword does not like me, and it has a bad habit of temporarily blinding people who aren't pure of heart because sometimes divine artifacts are assholes.
"You should be saying, 'We,'" my husband says.
Many years after the evil overlord was deafeated by the forces of the light, there are whispers rumors that the evil overlord has secretly returned to his citadel. You know immediately it could only be an imposter, as you are in fact the evil overlord, living a peaceful simple life in exile.
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epiphany
synopsis: the moment jjk men realise that they are in love with you.
characters: gojo, geto, nanami, ino
a/n: guys i struggle to write geto so much please tell me if he's ooc also ino is so precious <33
ˋ°•*⁀➷ satoru doesn't allow himself to fall in love easily, not with his fears of losing those that he cherishes most. in all honesty, he was even afraid to ask you out on a date - not because he was scared of rejection, but because of what the future would do to him. life has never been kind to him, after all.
sweaty hands hesitant to reach for yours, an infinity of his fears that was separate from his infinity technique, preventing him from becoming too affectionate with you. a constant longing in his eyes that formed from his fervent desire to let himself get close to you, to let you come close to him. but he couldn't, not when letting you get close to him means you inching closer to death because you'd become a target.
so, when he realises that he's no longer fearful, he also realises that his fondness for you is no longer something fragile. it's something powerful, unbreakable, yet almost foreign. and if anyone dared to look in your direction in the wrong way, he wouldn't hesitate to take their life.
patience and understanding is all that you have ever shown him, never critical of him keeping his distance or being too reluctant. he needs time, to trust, to know that he's safe, to share some of his silent burdens. it's difficult when he was brought up with the instilled idea that he's different from everyone else.
but he isn't. he's human, too. and that's how you always make him feel. a human capable of love. and he loves you. willing to place his unguarded heart into the palms of your gentle, careful hands.
even with his red, puffy, vulnerable eyes, runny nose, and trembling lips, you still look at him with so much warmth and... is that love he sees peeking in your eyes?
ˋ°•*⁀➷ geto isn't easily impressed. he doesn't bother to, well, bother with anyone without reason. except for his daughters, of course. there's nothing more he loves in the world than them
it's hard to find someone he trusts them with while he's doing his usual cult business, sometimes not wanting his girls to be around for that.
over time, though, he found that he was beginning to trust you. not only were you a good assistant, but you were also good with the girls. you'd watch them and make sure they're happy while geto is in his "meetings". and eventually, he couldn't suppress the affection he felt towards you no longer, deciding to give you a chance.
and fuck, was he glad that he did.
otherwise he would've missed out on moments like this - the three of you sit on the sofa in front of the tv which plays some disney film (one with a rapunzel or something like that, which is where they got the idea to braid geto's hair and weave colourful flowers into it). nanako is tucked into your right side and mimiko on your left. the screen flashes onto your sleeping faces.
his heart practically melts at the sight as he quietly steps over the nail polish bottles and bracelet-making set sprawled on the floor. he dismisses the mess, leaning down to press a kiss to each of your foreheads. he could get used to coming home to this.
you stir awake, squinting an eye open to find geto standing in front of you with a softened smile, natural and sincere, as he carefully tucks the blanket around all of you.
“hey, you're back,” you murmur. you dig into the pocket of your hoodie, pulling out a beaded bracelet with letters on it. “the girls made one for all of us. it's all of our initials on each bracelet.” and oh, he couldn't stop thinking about how much he ached to change your initials.
geto never took off that bracelet, making sure to never lose it. and he also made sure to never lose one of his girls, including you.
ˋ°•*⁀➷ nanami has always been enamoured by you. he's never believed in love at first sight because, despite catching his attention when you first met, his feelings towards you gradually grew. from your first day when you bumped into him and almost spilt coffee on him, which ended up on your blouse instead. and he, thankfully, had a spare shirt that he offered for you to wear.
he does, however, believe in fate because of you.
because how could one read him so well and fit with him so perfectly as if your souls are already intertwined? he knows he isn't the most expressive person, but you still manage to know what he's thinking, what he needs.
he also viewed himself as an independent person, used to not having another person in his space and cooking for one. but he grew accustomed to your presence relatively fast. you brought such light into his life - not a bright, blinding light that one might think; more like the soft glow of a lighthouse, guiding him through the monotonous, sometimes stormy, days.
he began to find himself craving your company. his heart aches in a way it never has before and he doesn't remember the last time he cared about someone to this extent. or if he ever even cared about someone this much. with his busy schedule and focus on work so that he can finally retire, he didn't really have or make much time for anything personal. until you, of course.
and he doesn't see you as an obstruction to his life plans; you complement them. he's able to spend time with you and focus on his work at the same time because you keep him company while he works, bring him homemade food which he'll always eat even if you aren't the best of cooks. and when you fall asleep on his lap in his chair, head resting on his shoulder, he can't help but smile tenderly. he feels his heart pick up pace - unusual for him - and he realises that perhaps everything is worth it because of you, for you.
ˋ°•*⁀➷ ino, such a lovesick puppy. he's been in love with you since the two of you were only best friends, but he doesn't even realise he's in love until long after. sure, he had a crush on you and he's aware of that, but your heart captured him unknowingly over time.
he had the brightest smile, putting the sun to shame, when you agreed to go on a date with him. and then, a second, and another, and another. he'd go back to his dorm feeling giddy, heart warm and fluttery like a hummingbird, mind racing with thoughts of only you and where to take you on the next date. and he would already be texting you about another date.
one of your favourite places to go to together was the park in the evening so that it was mostly empty. he sat with his legs crossed, leaning back on one of his hands as the other hand feeds you crisps. your head lies on his thigh, legs outstretched along the grass. he's gazing down at you, his heart totally not threatening to jump out of his chest.
and it's one of the many moments that he makes you laugh and you're almost tearing up with giggles, and oh my god, i made her laugh. and since when did your eyes look like they were created from the prettiest of jewels? and your smile, your smile. it's directed at him. those smile lines pierce right through his chest and become engraved into his heart.
he loves your laugh, your eyes, your smile. he loves you.
oh, i love her.
“i've been waiting for you to say that for so long,” an angel speaks.
oh. no, it's you. and he realises he might have accidentally let the confession slip out. he was so caught up in his daze he didn't notice the world around him - or even himself, for that matter. his focus was only on you, his angel.
“... did i say that out loud?”
#hazel's masterpieces#gojo satoru#gojo x reader#gojo fluff#gojo fic#geto suguru#geto x reader#geto fluff#geto fic#nanami kento#nanami x reader#nanami fluff#nanami fic#ino takuma#ino x reader#ino fluff#ino fic#gojo satoru x reader#gojo x you#satoru gojo#jjk fluff#jjk fic#jjk#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen fluff#jjk x reader#jjk x you#gojo x y/n#geto suguru x reader
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hiiiii hello how do you think late teens/early 20s dean handled sam when he brought hookups back to their motel room? was it like
beat it DORK big brother's gonna score
heyyy sammy wink wink nudge nudge why don't you head on over to the library at 11pm because wink wink nudge nudge.. yknow
"oh sammy doesn't even know what we're doing (he does) and if we're quiet (they won't be) it won't be a problem"
or something else lol
hot take probably but beyond Familial Dynamic specific headcanons i've shared before that come from my enjoyment of applying their canonical dynamic to what Could be their pre-series dynamic (and some exploration of the differences of their perspectives of the same actions or aspects of their dynamic within their relationship), i think dean would be kind to sam in a way that's on the opposite end of the spectrum and specific to the fact that they're children in this situation together. as in, genuinely kind of out of the ordinary-esque siblings kindness/closeness especially for how much more significant their age difference would feel to third perspectives during their childhood. kind of like 4.13, as an example, where dean greets sam in the hallways, and sam's friend reacts to it with surprise because that isn't typical for freshmen and seniors, but sam also responds with the, "he thinks so," teenage-typical exasperation that i also tend to connect to sam's response to dean trying to push himself into the role of protecting sam when sam doesn't want it that comes later in the episode and the idea that even that closeness is both appreciated but so constant for the context of the way their relationship develops that it's so typical for them but gets stifling sometimes and creates the dynamic of dean's unawareness of sam's perpetual loneliness and guilt, or the lack of information sam was often subjected to, as it developed in this same space.
i think it'd be a mix of the three where sometimes, if dean was actually seeing someone, he'd be able to tell sam ahead of time and he'd be kind of coddling with the, "the library is open, and here's some money—" / "i've got my own money. leave the car keys on the table so i can nap in the car when i get home from the library. i have practice later so i won't be here when you leave to meet dad." before sam leaves for school in the morning. but it'd also be like sam could come home from school to them making out on the couch with a bit of a scowl, make a microwaved meal and leave to go eat it in the room he and dean shares without anyone reacting then dean'll come into the room a few sex noises later to change his shirt and ask sam if he wants anything from [fast food place] because he's gonna drop her home. i've posted a headcanon that included this before but i also like the idea of sam developing interesting relationships with the women dean's seeing in the sense that if he's getting beer from the fridge to plop down in front of the television with, he'd grab two, one being for her, just to hear dean whine about 'how comes he didn't get one', so she and sam can giggle about it together. sometimes dean will come into the dining room where sam's doing his homework and ask him to get lost sort of flippantly which could either lead to some friction or sam just getting out of there; sometimes there's a giggly conversation between them before sam leaves. sometimes dean uses 'having to check on my little brother' as an excuse to leave situations especially if he knows the woman's into the whole caretaker thing before going home and complaining about her boob job while sam asks him not to talk about her like that and to shut up 'cause he's doing homework. etc etc. i just like to think it'd depend on the specific circumstances :)
#really good ask!!! i had fun thinking about this <3#i saw your other ask too im just having a hard time getting myself to do stuff right now lol#ik you dont mind me answering it so much later but id like you to know that anyway#quaerit#cogito
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//ooc posting: I NEED to find more fun/silly things to do with my two they are Not meant to be all agony all the time I swear- I just have a penchant for the dramatic and they're a little in the torment nexus o(-< but on god they will Have Fun too
#//ooc#even in the torment nexus there's spots of brightness!! I need to start playing with them too I'm not a grimdark writer I swear!!#I have ideas for softer bits and pieces. sibling stuff. cute things. I will get to it somehow hell or high water o7#T-E purrs!! they can do that!! it's part of their genetic alterations and I want to play with that too as well as the horrors!!#now don't get me wrong either The Horrors are one of my fav things to write but it's chiaroscuro y'know you need the contrast#it can't be a fight for personal autonomy all the time sometimes it needs to be T-E's huge kitty eyes or Helios being a dork#all this might be unnecessary I just get a little self conscious sometimes about how full-grit my writing can be wehh#holding my creatures in my hands. they are capable of such a beautiful joy. it's actually vital that they are#since I'm rambling anyways: huge part of what I want to do with T-E's pre campaign rp is start pulling them out of their shell#they start the planned game still stuck on their rules but it's talking to people that's gonna put them in a place where like#they know there's something else out there. they want it. they feel so much guilt for wanting it but it's the WANTING that's important!!#helios can't do that on his own because he doesn't know either. neither of them know jack about what exists beyond their narrow purview#making a HA clone to me is in part an examination of how miitary as industry will always result in steadily increasing dehumanisation#it's the commodification of a human body to ever increasing heights. soldiers to products to nothing but parts to be scrapped#military as an endless churn less for the sake of any kind of protection and more for the sake of resources. capital. money#it's part of what makes HA so fascinating to me y'know? the way it takes that concept to a far flung conclusion. how bad can it get#the other part is playing someone realising for the first time it's possible to break from what's expected of them#the wonder. the guilt. the disbelief. all of it carefully hidden. it's a huge part of what's so compelling about writing them to me#three huge cornerstones of T-E are: masking - military - the horror of having to exist in a body.#that last one is my taking the weird sensory relationship I have to Flesh/mind and doing horror with it dw too much about that njbkhjv#okay okay I think I'm done this got a little out of hand I'm just like#there's so MUCH about thirteen/T-E that makes me insane. alas I'm tired and it takes me like 4 hours to write a simple post sobs#anywaysss that's my ramble. I like them#helios too I like him. guy absolutely dead set on finding reasons to smile amidst the Horror
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actually, because of that secret secret i just read, i’m going to post this thought before i forget about it, actually — for the last few days i’ve been turning over the idea of dan heng x reader where the reader, a chef or at least competent cook, joins the express and works as chef to save everybody from himeko’s… creative dinner plans (inspired by the recent event)… and there’s something about the effortless, easy confidence with which you navigate the kitchen which dan heng admires. it’s an art form of its own, really.
(plus, as i mentioned, everyone loves you because you’re there to step in and lend some guidance when himeko decides it’s her turn to cook…..)
#idk the domestic vibe is just on point#i WAS thinking that i have to give reader some trauma because like… come on. be serious here. we can’t have them be UNtraumatised#but… for the first time ever… i think i might not give them intense and horrific trauma?#maybe it’s the generous christmas spirit possessing me or something#but i feel like the reader being genuinely… fine is something the surrounding cast and especially dan heng could appreciate#because there’s no need to dwell in emotional baggage around them and it’s just very comforting#the reader does have some emotional struggles here of course — maybe something to do with their family? not a great relationship there?#there’s got to be a reason why they left their home to join the express#but i get the idea that they’re the kind of person who doesn’t dwell on hardship too much where they experience it#which doesn’t mean they’re 100% okay but they are pretty content with life most of the time#and again this easy-going-ness really helps dan heng wind down around them#plus cooking!#before reader joined i think the express crew had a cooking rota (now they do most of the cooking but sometimes someone else takes the helm#(stelle not included because she would unironically place a bin bag on the table and tell everyone to ‘eat up’)#(in fact this did happen once and is why she is no longer on the rota)#also! reader collecting recipes from every world they visit (especially from planets or people who are dwindling in number/ at risk)!#as a way of not only learning but also preserving the memories and cultural identities of different groups#reader asking dan heng to show them how to use & put these recipes in the data bank!#dan heng initially asking them how they made this one dish… and this spirals into routinely midnight cooking sessions#reader falling asleep in the archive/ dh’s room while organising their recipes after one such midnight cooking session#etc etc#i need to sleep now goodnight#r.ambling in the tags#dan heng x reader
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WHY DID NOBODY TELL ME BURROWS END WASNT FREE
#I DIDNT TALK TO ANYONE ABOUT IT BUT STILL. SOMEONE SHOULDVE WARNED ME BEFORE I GOT COMPLETELY INVESTED#I know next to nothing abt dimension 20 I’m pretty sure I just saw a post abt burrows end specifically MONTHS ago and was like 👀👀👀#opened a tab with the first episode to watch later and promptly forgot about it#until last night! having a bad night and was like hrm what if I just watch smth#and I’ve been reading watership down recently!! finally got my own copy bc it was my favourite book when I was like NINE#so I am fully primed to fall in love with a story abt little animals rn and man#I am OBSESSED with this and also realising yeah I’m at a point where I could get very into tabletop rpgs now#what if. what if I just get dropout. what if I just do that. would that not be fun. I would like to see the stoats do stuff#i am so in love with Ava and her player and I understand so much more about brennan lee mulligan now. and VIOLA#viola may be my favourite character I’m obsessed with how she interacts with other characters.m#i NEED to know what’s up with thorn’s cult thing. and also thorn. what is going on there#hrrgrhehh the thing that’s holding me back is I’m allergic to subscriptions#impermanence. even though I know it’s fairly unlikely I’ll wanna watch it again any time soon I don’t like the idea that I’d have to like#in a couple years pay for it again or not be able to bc I can’t afford it even though I already paid for it once#I’m a books + cartridge games guy and it shows.#okay. I will chew on this. the price is not unreasonable and I have coincidentally also been looking at make some noise clips#it does not help that I basically never watch things but my favourite podcast is also ending within the next month (2 episodes left)#and this IS primarily audio so I could cook + watch mayhaps. and I’ve heard good things abt all other d20.#they have a 20% off first year deal on. annual would make me less stressed long term if I end up liking this bc cheaper + choice premade#and would also mean I can do it now and not feel bad abt wasting the first month bc I won’t be able to watch much for a few weeks#fuck it I’m allowed to make frivolous purchases sometimes I will simply swallow the subscription distaste#more stoats >:)#that aside all the players are incredible I’m pretty sure when this is done I’ll wanna watch other seasons just to see what else they do#okay go do the thing I believe in you you can spend money sometimes#luke.txt#update I downloaded the app. I am putting off the decision for another day now bc it’s 1:21am and I have not been thinking clearly <3
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My crops would be so watered if I could just love a main/popular character for once
#it's not like i do it on purpose#i don't make the conscious decision to look at some less popular blorbo and go oh yes this is the one#it just happens#my current blorbo is like one of the least popular ones and when he is depicted it's usually wildly out of character in an unfun way#and so i make a lot of content for him to the point he is the main character in my au#i by no means expect attention when i try to bring up my ideas everytime#but getting posted over constantly is really taking it's toll#I'll wait hours after the last message was sent and then bam someone is there to immediately post over me without comment#or when i go oh hey i did this thing today! and get ignored but when someone else says something similar they get all the praise#cause they write for only the best and important boy of course#and aus where Wild is the main focus are all of course superior to everything else so why the hell do i even try#sometimes i think i should just stop creating because what the hell is the point when people only want the special boy#and when i did show my au Wild i got told i needed to make him skinnier??? like okay.#im sorry that i dont make stuff of the favorite character and when i do he is not good enough in peoples eyes i guess#anyway this is an accumulation of just absolute garbo that i needed to yell into the void#maybe someday i will feel confident in what i create but gods certainly not now#this is so hard
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every now and then when we say something in-sys we DO still hear Allan's voice but barely so
and sometimes. they're like "QUIT TELLING EVERYONE I'M DEAD??" when,
We never DID explicitly tell anyone that, and
He is dead? He's literally a ghost. He honest to god legit for realsies died in 2019.
and he's like..,,,, "oh right! lmao sorry I forgot, carry on" JDJSMSKDMFCN??
#pk;m electrochemistry🔴#no idea where Rosie got off to and what connection Allan has rn isn't enough to ask them#his whole 'voicing other people's thoughts/what they're saying' thing is an autopilot thing he does & at this point#since he's been doing it for over a decade he's barely aware of it now#but w Rosie it's like. Ok. Well. There's a ton of similarities between hir & I. what if sie.... um.#and I'm like WELL THAT'S PROBABLY NOT THE CASE AHAHA [<= in denial in case that Is the case.]#but also like Actually logistically that's probably not what's happening here#cuz that doesn't FEEL like what's happening. hir & Allan r probably in some weird void somewhere#There's also The Horrors that ce sometimes Reminds Me Of Against My Will so I think if ce DID integrate into me#that would not Happen. it feels very 'I am forcibly receiving these memories from someone else'#and not 'I Myself Am Suddenly Remembering These Things And It Sucks' it's like ce's shoving them into my brain remnants#so aNYWAYS! THIS IS FINE [it's not but it's like on the levels of 'I keep bumping into shit' on the Annoyances Scale#very Low but still mildly painful and Annoying.]#idk how much awareness either of them have rn or have had for the past Ever since they stopped being able to front#like we Have tried asking and we get nonsense or nothing in response#so. ??????????? cool?????????????? well anyways. if that changes and they come back and they don't like any changes we've made to things#that's their problem then ig! jxjaksskxj
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I think (I posted about it earlier) that Dragon losing to Mox and then getting murdered about it is a step along the path to cement Darby as the top babyface by having him avenge Bryan. Like I don’t see this as the end of The Overall Story they’re telling, just as a series wrap for Danielson, and from that perspective I think it makes a lot more sense
i can see that, i do think laying it out like that it makes sense. that's similar to something i've been talking about with a buddy of mine who thinks this storyline is going to cement wheeler as a top babyface (or potentially heel if some other shit goes down, top guy either way) in much the same way. its definitely not the end of the overall story! i think your idea about this being darby's coronation has a lot of bite to it, that boy's been getting PUSHED for a hot moment. your insight is much appreciated (as always!)
#im not sure its even danielson losing that gets me. that felt like a foregone conclusion as soon as the first murder happened#it would be cool to see new stars come from this. im just a little disappointed it wasnt at least another member of bcc i guess#mox is great this is obvious everyone knows it but its like#hm. how to say this. i know it sounds pretty tantrum-y no matter what i say boohoo i cheer the faces and boo the heels etc#but mox winning in conjunction with the bucks being tag champions is definitely creating a feeling of#'boy i would love to see someone else' in me. 'im sure other men exist'#'what could we see if this company wasnt run by people who want to push their friends all the time'. yknow?#maybe thats unfair. i could concede that. i have a hater's heart that i am working to better#i just look at aew's roster sometimes and i feel like there's so much more they could be doing but i also guess i get that way#whenever any promotion has a main storyline and top guys where if there's not enough variety i get bored after awhile#who can say. regardless! i think you've got the right idea and it does help put things into more perspective. much appreciated
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more possessive!reader and our man Simon? hell yes!
You leave your stuff at his place like it’s your second apartment. Hair ties on his nightstand, your clothes in his laundry. That one lip balm he pretends not to use but absolutely does. He once found your earring on his pillow and sat there staring at it for ten minutes straight.
You correct girls when they flirt with him. Not rudely. Just with some subtle things. “He doesn’t like gin, actually,” with a little smile. “Simon’s more of a bourbon guy.” Meanwhile, Simon’s standing behind you, blinking like a confused dog. He didn’t even know he was a bourbon guy until you said so.
He starts dressing the way you like without realizing it. You complimented his black joggers once? Suddenly, they’re in heavy rotation. Mention his cologne smells good? He’s wearing it to the grocery store. You say, “I like when you leave your hair messy like that,” and now he’s suspiciously tousled 24/7.
You use your phone like a weapon. Screenshotting girls who like his pics. “This one again?” with a raised eyebrow. Sending him selfies when he’s out late with a little “missing you” just to make sure he’s thinking about you.
Simon tries to stay cool, tries to act unbothered. But then you say something like, “I don’t like when other girls touch you,” and he’s short-circuiting. Sitting there all red-eared and tense like his body’s trying to pretend it’s not turning into goo.
You say “mine” a lot. Half-joking. Especially when someone flirts with him in front of you. You’ll just wrap your arms around his waist, smile up at him, and go, “God, you’re so mine,” like it’s nothing, and he eats it up.
He tries to “set boundaries” exactly one time. It lasts approximately three days before you show up looking hot, acting normal, and sleeping in his bed like nothing ever changed. He doesn’t bring it up again.
He gets real quiet sometimes. He just looks at you like he’s still trying to figure out how the hell he got here, with you wrapped around him, calling him “baby” like it’s always been his name. And then he just mutters, “How the fuck did I ever think we were just friends?”
He calls you bossy. You take it as a compliment. And let’s be honest, so does he. You tell him where to sit, when to eat, what show to watch—and the worst part? He likes it. It’s the only time his brain shuts off. Just nods and goes, “Yes, love,” like you didn’t just grab him by the collar and steer him like a Roomba.
You never pretend to be casual about him. You look at him like he belongs to you. Like the very idea of someone else getting his attention is personally offensive. He’ll be tying his boots, not even thinking about anything, and you’ll mutter, “I hope no one tries to flirt with you today. I don’t feel like playing nice.”
You get real smug when he shuts down other women. Like, you knew he would, but it still hits different hearing him say “nah, I’ve got someone” without hesitation. You’ll just smile to yourself and say, “Good boy,” when he gets home—and he’ll pretend to roll his eyes while trying not to get hard.
You don’t get jealous. You get territorial. There's a difference. Jealousy is insecure. Territorial is knowing you’ve already won and still refusing to let anyone look at your prize without remembering whose he is.
And he loves it. Loves the way you don’t play games. Loves that you’re all in. Loves that being with you feels like being chosen every day.
PART 3
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@daydreamerwoah @kylies-love-letter @ghostslollipop @kittygonap @alfiestreacle @identity2212 @farylfordaryl @rafaelacallinybbay @akkahelenaa @lovelovelovelovelove987654321 @wraith-bravo6
#simon ghost riley x you#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley x you#simon ghost riley#simon ghost riley x female oc#simon riley imagine#simon riley x reader#simon riley
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I wish that I was more
#sad hours at the huskin bee#personal#graduating soon and the animation department is collecting photos of everyone in the drive#and seeing all these group photos of everyone in the program makes me realize how distant i am from them#and how close knit everyone else has become...#ive never been good at making friends and within like the first few weeks of school it was like everyone got to know each other#and the few friends i made in the program left after the first year#i wish my social anxiety wasnt so bad i tried harder to make friends in college#also i have an essay due on monday and i might just not do it#or itll be really half assed#ive been doing well so far in that class so if i dont do it i think the least id get is a C#idk maybe i can still make friends w these ppl after college somehow but itd still feel weird bc i had a completely different shm experience#than they had#ahhhh#i can imagine a future reunion where ppl will talk to be about old drama that was big among this giant friend group#that consists of most people in my year that ill have no idea what theyre talking abt#bc im never in the loop abt anything ever lol#this actually happened at my hs animation reunion except i actually knew and talked to most ppl in that class#i wasnt like super close to most of them but i had a few closeish friends#and i know one of those friends probably werent/arent in the know#also like i did hear abt relationship drama back in the day bc gossip spread p easily#anyways i was told completely new information abt someone getting stalked back then so thats wild#and apparently there was a super handsome guy in our class that i for some reason have zero recollection of#point is i be the last person to know something and if i know smth then everyone probably already knew#which is annoying. i wanna hear gossip too. even in my own family my sisters will tell each other and our mom about shit that went down w#their friends or our cousins and i only hear abt it when im in the room#so i end up hearing a lot but never directly and sometimes not in full#man i shouldve gone on more college field trips#shouldve done a lot more in life that my insecurities get the way of#tbh i genuinely think i might have a form of undiagnosed anxiety; tism; or some other mental disorder
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you've been touching him a lot since he got back.
itoshi sae doesn't do anything about it — doesn't dissuade you from tugging at his sleeve or sliding his jacket zipper back and forth while you talk. doesn't comment or bring your attention to it.
but he watches.
you've been around him a lot since his plane landed, making up for all the time he's spent abroad, as if your daily chat threads haven't been enough. most of the time it's just the two of you, the way it used to be. sometimes his brother is around, though thankfully it doesn't seem like you've gotten any closer to rin since sae left.
other times there's a group, mostly your friends, a mix of guys and girls who don't seem to know what to do with themselves around him. sae is used to this — fame brings strange things to light — but you treat him as you always have, except for the touching.
you don't touch anyone else.
it makes him think.
sae has his reasons. he's never let your relationship get past that line, drawn in the sand. he's a professional football player on the other side of the world, and you have a life here. you have friends (even though you still call him your best friend), you have a job (that you complain about all the time), you have family (that can't be bothered to ever congratulate you on anything).
it wouldn't be right — to make you leave. to take you away. not when he needs to focus on being the best in the world.
(he is the best in the world. all those years ago he showed the U-20 team in japan the difference between them, the way the most they could hope for was dating a gravure model. sae never cared about that aspect. he already had you.)
he lets you touch him, but he doesn't touch you back. he keeps you at arm's length — where you're safe.
and then you ask him to be your wingman.
someone else — touching you? kissing you? having you? unthinkable. sae steps out of the shower and barely dries off before pulling on his briefs and pants. steps into his room and there you are, sitting on his bed, looking good, if a little sad.
he considers telling you to get your passport updated and catches the way your eyes trail down his form. maybe this conversation would be easier if he's wearing a shirt — your gaze is too heated, too distracting. you probably think you're being sneaky, hiding your feelings as best as you can, but sae knows you.
and your casual touches are ocean waves washing that line in the sand away.
sae walks towards his closet when it happens again. your finger in his belt loop, stopping him in his tracks. "what?"
"you were ignoring me," you say. "i asked if my outfit is okay."
your outfit is more than okay. "i would have told you to change if it wasn't."
"if you're going to be my wingman, shouldn't you hype me up?" you huff.
sae feels his jaw clench at the reminder. "no," he says, and his tone comes out cold. you don't seem to notice, falling back on his bed and testing every bit of self control in his grasp. "this is a waste of time."
he goes to pull on a shirt before he does something drastic. you're saying something, but it hardly matters when his flight leaves if you'll be on the plane with him. you've covered your eyes with your forearm, so you miss the way he pauses at the foot of the bed, teal eyes drinking in your form splayed out so defenselessly.
sae climbs over you silently, knees nudging yours apart, hands planted on either side of your body. "this is a waste of time," he repeats, watching with amusement as you take in his position. a blush sweeps across your face, but you don't push him off. that's a good sign, at least.
"what, you think i'm not worth being a wingman for?" you ask. silly. you have no idea.
and then you reach for his belt loops again, as if that's a totally normal thing to do and not something that drives him a little nuts every time. sae prides himself on his control, though, so he doesn't lean down to kiss you just yet.
"tell me," sae says, "have you become this touchy with all your friends since i've been gone?"
"n-no?"
it's cute, how wide your eyes get. sae leans down a little closer. feels your breaths on his lips. still doesn't kiss you — yet. "then i won't be your wingman. you don't need one."
"why not?"
do you know how breathless you sound? sae considers his apartment in spain, how he'll need to make sure the bedroom doesn't share any walls with the neighbors. the way you sound is all for him and him alone.
"because you have a boyfriend, now."
(companion piece to this)
#bllk x reader#blue lock x reader#itoshi sae x reader#itoshi sae#idk man idk#i wanted to get into his head and idk!!!#lmk if this needs other tag warnings#fuji writes!
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☆.°*Dating Bob Headcanons*°.☆
pairing: bob reynolds x f!reader word count: 1.3k a/n: just a few of my headcanons for what it would be like to be in a relationship with bob!! if you'd like to see more let me know! warnings: mention of therapy, addiction, memory loss- anything that would've been in thunderbolts*
☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・inbox・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆
Ironically, I think Bob is a guy that is comfortable with what life hands him and outside going to Malaysia to try to find himself (or more drugs) he's resigned to accept whatever the universe throws at him- both good and bad. I don't think he'd be the type to join a dating app or feel a hole in the place of where a partner should be unless he began to fall for someone around him. Meaning, the two of you would have likely met in his past or you were a member of the New Avengers.
Unless you have the most enviable confidence on the planet, your friendship budding into more would have been a SLOWWWW burn.
As much as the team picks on Bob (with love), they would be very wary of you starting a relationship with him.
If you were on the team, once they got the inkling that you had feelings for one another, they would iterate to you a million times that you had to be sure about this. You would have to be serious about a future with him: no games. You breaking Bob's heart could send him into an episode that not only hurt him, but everyone else.
I think there are two scenarios to the start of your relationship: either you made the first move or he did- but it was only made possible by the reassurance of the team that you would actually say yes to him.
"Well I don't know guys," he'd argue , fiddling with his sleeve. "What if she doesn't-"
"She could not have been more obvious!" Yelena laughs.
"But-"
"Bob, you have a hot girl with super powers in love with you." John would say. "Do something about it or I will."
And obviously the idea of John making a move on you would be enough to propel him into confessing (a bit awkwardly) his feelings for you.
I think a lot of the first moves would be on you to initiate, because as much as he would want to kiss you and sleep in your bed (and more), he would be so afraid of you saying no or making you uncomfortable that he would hesitate.
King of Consent. If he did make the first move on you it would be because he asked you first. In the first few months of your relationship it's rare that he would touch you without asking.
Oh my god. I think if Bob had friends from his past that he still sometimes spoke to (now that he's clean and in a better mental state, I imagine him trying to patch up old wounds with good friends), he would ask you if it was okay if he told people you were together (as if you'd be embarrassed to be dating him)
You'd take a photo together and he would nervously ask if he could send it to this old friend from childhood and your heart would just swell.
"Of course, Bob. Tell him I say hi."
You would catch him smiling at the photo on his phone- a sweet closed mouth one- as he sent it to his friend.
Sent: Me and my girlfriend :)
Even if you're usually a people pleaser, when it comes to Bob, you'd have to become his biggest advocate because no one is more of a people pleaser than him. Recall when he was in the facility and offered to stay back and die for the convenience of everyone else? Yeah.
Sometimes Bob would ask you to come to his therapy appointments with him so you could fill in the gaps in his memory for his therapist.
You would also join some sessions at his behest because he wasn't always 100% transparent with his doctor and having you there encouraged him to be more honest (not only because you could tell when he was lying, but because he wanted to be better for you.)
Bob has an addictive personality so he doesn't drink anymore, but if you go out for the night, he'll ask Yelena to go with you just to make sure you're safe.
Yelena, who was going out with you anyway and would rather die than let you get hurt, would just pout.
"You are so. adorable." She'd sigh. "But yes. I will watch her."
NYC may get cold in the winter months, but you have a human heater in the form of Bob who would gladly take your freezing hands in yours, bring them to his lips and blow hot air on them to warm you up.
Speaking of the colder months, this man LOVES a hot cocoa. Bob doesn't love the crowds at festivals or markets because all the noises, people, touching can be overwhelming but he'll bear them with you if he can turn his brain off with a hot chocolate in hand and let you guide him.
He blushes bright red when you wipe his milk mustache away with your finger then pop it in your mouth.
When you giggle at his pink cheeks he blames it on the cold (sure bob).
He doesn't get jealous as much as he gets insecure. If Bob saw another man get touchy with you or you laugh at his jokes, he wouldn't be angry, but he would start questioning if he was good enough for you.
Although the sentry serum gave him a lean, muscular build, he would still compare himself to Bucky and Walker. Walker may have been an asshole, but Bucky was nice, successful, conventionally attractive and more stable than him. What did he bring to the table?
When you caught him second guessing himself, you'd be quick to snap him out of it: reminding him that there was no one else in the world for you besides him.
Now if you, got jealous- he'd be shocked.
A new intern would start working for Valentina and you could just see it in her eyes: she wanted him. It didn't matter that you were an Avenger yourself or that Bob would never in a million years be the type to cheat on you, you could feel the heat bubbling in your chest just threatening to boil to the surface.
When you butt into the conversation, placing a hand against his chest and introducing yourself as his girlfriend he didn't even know what to do. The girl, not keen enough to compete with an Avenger, took the hint and went on her way.
"What was that?" He'd ask.
"I don't know what you're talking about, Bob."
You'd just humph and go back to whatever it was you were doing and Bob would be left there with his face red, scratching the back of his neck knowing he's got the most amazing woman on the planet (Time Magazine's issue on the New Avengers made that a blatant fact) jealous over him.
His room is probably pretty bland. Because of his past and the most recent thing he did pre-experiment being back-packing, I imagine that he doesn't very have many things. Whether it be clothes, games, knickknacks- you name it- he probably started out with close to nothing and everything he has now has only been accumulated since joining the team.
Because of this, when you two share a bed it would probably be in your room. He likes the character of it and how it reflects your personality and interests. It makes him feel safe, loved, and homey in a way none of the things from his past ever could with the negative memories tied to them.
If you're not home, he'll text you updates about everything he's doing that day.
10:57: Good morning :)
11:31: Had a bagel for breakfast.
12:45: The fridge is making a weird sound.
3:22: I finished my book. There was a cliffhanger :0
4:10: Miss you :)
And that's just a little bit of the cute little life I think you'd have in a relationship with Bob :)
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hi!! first set of headcanons for our man bob!! if you're interested in more or have some other headcanons besides just general dating ones you'd like to see- my inbox is always open!! xx
#bob x reader#thunderbolts#bob reynolds x reader#robert reynolds x reader#sentry x reader#bob headcanons#bob fluff#bob reynolds#robert reynolds#bob thunderbolts#bob thunderbolts x reader#thunderbolts fanfiction#mcu fanfiction#thunderbolts bob x reader#bob reynolds fanfiction
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Teach Me?

Hello love bugs, we've got a huge one shot here. I see a lot of writing where the guy helps the girl out with inexperience, but I thought I'd like to write something where he's the one asking for help. I had a lot of fun putting this together so I hope you guys like it. I may do more but I have a lot of other stuffed planned but let me know your thoughts!
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WC- 12.3k
Warnings- mentions of insecurity, anxiety, oral, soft!Dom H, soft!Dom Y/N, switchy vibes but mostly Dom!H, Y/N pokes fun at him for being nerdy but she loves it,
"Hey..." Harry began casually, wiping his hands on a towel after washing. Her best friend had invited himself over for dinner, which meant he was going to do the dishes. It was an unspoken rule of their friendship. If you invite yourself, you clean up. But seeing as Y/N was the one who cooked nine out of ten times, it had become a normal to see him at her kitchen sink. Her eyes peeked up at him from her phone, giving him a look to continue. "Can I ask you something? It's a kinda...weird request." He scratched the back of his neck nervously, looking at her with an attempt at puppy dog eyes. He wanted something and it made her narrow her eyes.
“I’m not going to the convention with you again, Har. It’s not my scene, I told you. I’ll watch any series of movies until our brains leak out our ears but if I have to sit through panels and Q&As where they ask what the characters favorite food is again I may lose my mind.” She knew it was coming up… but apparently that wasn’t his point. Thank God.
"No! No. Adam is going with me this year. Rude. But besides that…” It made her a lot more curious as to what it could be because he did genuinely look nervous. “It's a weird question, actually." He sat down next to her on the couch, twisting his hands together. "And you can totally say no... but..." He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Would you... maybe..." The hesitance had her sitting up a little straighter, raising her brow higher to urge him forward. "God..." He muttered softly, trying to find the words. "You promise not to judge?" He saw her raise an eyebrow. "I mean it. No making fun of me." He watched as she slowly nodded, waiting.
“I make fun of you for a lot of things, but if you’re asking me not to, I won’t. Are you okay?” Y/N asked softly, unused to his behavior. He was usually playful and could take any joke, so it wasn’t exactly like him to ask her not to do it.
"I'm okay." He assured her, but still had the nervous look in his eyes. "It's just... I've recently realized... kinda an embarrassing thing about myself." He shifted uncomfortably, his fingers fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. "I don’t think… I don’t think I’m actually making girls finish properly when I hook up with them. At least not every time. And I feel like shit about it.”
That was a surprise to her. Harry had the whole hot and nerdy thing going on, and he pulled plenty. Not that he always attempted or took them up on the offers, but he’d had a few girls he had hooked up with that she knew of. Usually he kept pretty quiet about it, but that didn’t bother her. Y/N had assumed a lot about him because… He did have some big dick energy going on. He had really nice hands too. The idea of him being unskilled in bed didn’t feel like it was right, but she was hearing him out. “What’s making you think this?” She asked curiously. “Did someone say something?”
"No, no one's ever said anything. Not to my face." His face flushed slightly pink as he shifted again, trying to get comfortable. "I just... well. Sometimes I noticed they'd tense up or seem kinda disappointed later. Like they were expecting something else. More? I dunno. And they don’t usually text me again, which is fine and all but I hate thinking I let someone down. It’s embarrassing." He avoided looking at her while he talked, staring at his fidgeting fingers instead. "I don't want to be one of those guys who only thinks about themselves. That’s the last thing I want to do." He trailed off, clearly embarrassed. So unlike him that it made her heart hurt a little bit. Harry was a happy guy and seeing him not like that was like seeing a wet puppy in the street. She had to fix it.
“Well the fact that you even care at all is really good. I know, the bar is on the floor but, unfortunately a lot of men don’t give a shit if we finish or not.” Y/N knew plenty of men- had experienced them herself- that didn’t care if it felt good for her. They wanted a quick nut and go. Harry never seemed to be the type. Honestly, he was very thorough in most things and she’d assumed that would properly bleed over to sex.
“Wanting to be better is half the battle. You don’t have to be embarrassed about it. The first time I sucked someone off I gagged really awfully, the sound made him go soft.” She laughed at her own bad time. “We all start somewhere.”
He laughed softly at her story, feeling a little more at ease knowing he wasn’t the only one. Y/N was far more experienced and open about being a little freak, so it felt better to know even she had some weirder experiences. It wasn’t just him. "Yeah, I can imagine." He chuckled, shaking his head. "Gagging on dick is not the most pleasant experience, is it?" He turned to look at her, his eyes serious again. "But, um, thanks for listening and all that. I just... I want to be good at it. For them, and for myself." He looked down at his hands again, picking at his fingernails nervously. He needed to paint them again so he would stop doing it. His pink polish was chipped. "And that's why I was wondering…” He bit his lip, his heart racing as he tried to work up the nerve to ask his best friend a very personal favor. The most personal you could probably get.
"Would you... would you maybe let me practice on you?” The silence lingered for a moment longer than he was okay with, panicking slightly as he continue. “I promise I'll listen to everything you say, and we can stop anytime you want. We don’t even have to! You can say no, obviously.” The man was babbling as he tried to untwist his tongue. “But I really trust you and I think you'd give me good feedback. Honest feedback." He looked up at her with pleading eyes, his cheeks flushed a darker pink that she hadn’t seen before- all the way up to his ears.
“Me?” That… was not at all what she had expected. To be fair she hadn’t been sure what to expect but that would probably be lower on the list. “You want to… practice eating pussy or something, on me? I just want to make sure I heard you correctly.” Because she sure as hell didn’t know if this was some sort of dream or delusion.
Harry nodded quickly, his ears turning an even deeper shade of red. "Yeah, you. I mean, if you're comfortable with it. I know it's a really fucking weird request and all, I swear I’m not trying to make anything weird with us but... you're my best friend, and I trust you. And I know you'd be honest with me." Y/N was known for being honest even if it wasn’t the most appropriate time to be. He looked at her with those big, hopeful eyes, his bottom lip worried between his teeth. "Please? I promise I'll do everything I can to make it good for you, if you let me. I just really want to get better at this."
It could fuck up the friendship. Y/N knew that, because it was every sort of cliche thing that tells you do not, under any circumstances, hook up with your best friend. But… it had been a while. Harry didn’t ask much of her besides her dinners and to go to some events with him so he wasn’t alone. He listened to her rants and brought her food when she was hungry and didn’t want to go out. He made her bed for her sometimes just because he was near and tidy like that. He swept the kitchen after dinner. He bought tickets to movies and concerts on his card and told her to pay him back whenever she could. He protected her if people acted weird at the rare chance they went out to the bar. Harry was a really fucking good friend, the best she’d ever had.
She also couldn’t lie to herself and say she didn’t think he had a spectacularly pretty mouth and even better hands. They had always been really nice. Soft, long fingers, big palm. The tattoos that trickled down… Fuck. She was going to say yes. Fuck it. “Okay. I guess we can, but I’ve got some rules.”
He blinked, surprised but trying to hide it, his heart racing faster at her surprisingly quick answer. "Rules?" He nodded, leaning forward slightly, completely focused on her words. "Of course. I mean... I'll do anything you say." That came out a bit too smooth, and they both caught the double meaning. He cleared his throat, trying to appear casual and failing miserably. "What are they?" His eyes were fixed on her, his hands folded in his lap to stop them from shaking nervously.
“I mean, I’m being a little dramatic. It’s only a few.” She laughed, leaning back on the couch. “One being we don’t tell anyone. Our friends are already weird about how much time we spend together. Two, you don’t touch me and then another woman. If you find someone else that’s completely fine, but I don’t want her germs and shit on me.” That was not something she liked at all. “If you’re practicing on me, it’s me. I won’t fuck around with other people either, but I don’t fuck with STIs and all that.” It was doubtful he would need to be reminded of that.
“I’m assuming this is going to be a couple times because the way you get good at stuff is practicing. I won’t complain if I get a few orgasms out of this.” She shrugged as if this was a normal thing to be discussing. Best friends having sex. “But the last one is you don’t make things weird after you’re all good with your skills. Don’t make stuff weird.”
"Those are..." He cleared his throat, trying to process everything she had just said. "Those are actually very reasonable rules." He nodded, making sure to emphasize each point so she know he heard her loud and clear. "One: Not telling our friends is smart. Two: Of course, no cheating. We aren’t dating but I’m a one woman type of man. My mother raised me better than that. You know she would kill me." He managed a small smile. "Three: I, uh, plan on practicing. A lot, if you let me." His eyes lingered just a moment too long on her lips, then quickly flicked away.
“Good.” Harry was efficient in most things. It’s exactly why she understood how much it probably bothered the hell out of him to not really be able to get a woman off, or so he thinks. She was just being a good friend, right? helping him out. “So walk me through what you usually do when you bring someone home. We start there. I can tell you if something you’re doing is weird.”
He swallowed nervously, trying to collect his thoughts as he shifted uncomfortably on the couch. "Well, uh... usually I'd start by kissing them, ya know? Get them a little worked up before moving down." He gestured vaguely with his hands, as if physically trailing kisses down an imaginary body. "Then I'd kinda... kiss around the area, maybe use my fingers first to make sure they're wet and all..." He trailed off, wincing as he realized how clinical it sounded when he said it out loud.
“That sounds decent, but kind of like a routine.” Harry was like that, she knew, but sex wasn’t. “Not all women are the same, though. We’re all different. You don’t experiment at all to see where her sensitive spots are? Do you keep kissing to the lips and her cunt?” The question was blunt, but she usually was.
"Well... No, actually. I kinda just do the same thing every time." He ran a hand through his hair nervously, realizing how basic that sounded compared to how she spoke about sex. "And yeah, I guess I do stop kissing once I get down there. Why?" He was listening intently, genuinely curious about her approach. For all his perceived experience with women, he was suddenly feeling very inexperienced in this one area. Something about the way she talked about sex was... different. Confident, like it was no big deal.
“Because women are sensual creatures, Harry. Sure, we have similar biological things that happen but the way we get horny is with our minds. Teasing a little. Dirty talk, if you’re good at it, ease into it. Kissing places that aren’t just the obvious.” Shifting to face him, she grabbed one of his hands and put it on her shoulder. He was definitely nervous. It was a little cute. “I’ll give you a cheat sheet for me. I really like to be kissed under my ear, over my throat. Sometimes a lick or a suck. A bite, if I’m in the mood. I like to be kissed over my stomach, tops of my breasts, inner thighs, hips. They aren’t necessarily obvious, but the exploration is nice.”
Taking his hand, she moved it to her neck and then dragged it down past her tits, down her stomach to the waistband of her joggers. “You can have a general path, but you need to be comfortable deviating from it when that’s what she responds to.”
"Fuck..." The curse slipped out quietly as his breath caught, noticing how comfortable she was with his hand on her body. His fingers lingered at her waistband, acutely aware of the sensitive skin just inches beneath. "I never really thought about it like that. I always just went straight for the pussy." He cleared his throat, realizing how crude that sounded coming out loud. "I mean..." She chuckled at his flustered state, finding it endearing. "So you're saying I should take my time? Like, really tease her out?" He moved his hand slightly, fingertips brushing the bare skin of her lower abdomen just beneath her shirt hem. "Kiss other places, see what makes her squirm?"
His gaze flickered down to where his hand rested, then back up to meet her eyes. There was a new spark of understanding there, like pieces clicking into place. "And if I find somewhere she likes? I should... explore that?"
“Yeah.” Her stomach had jumped as he moved his hand but didn’t say anything about it. “Every person is different. I’m sure you have places you like to be touched that people haven’t tried yet either. Being in tune with your body and hers, being able to read the cues that’s what could be your strength.” It was something a lot of men didn’t bother to take into consideration.
"Like, if she makes a certain noise or tenses up?" He was genuinely intrigued now, his mind racing with possibilities. "What if she pulls my hair or digs her nails into my back?" He shifted his hand lower, fingers splaying out on her stomach curiously. "Does that mean she likes it?" He was so focused on the hypotheticals that he almost missed the way his hand resting on her stomach made her stomach muscles twitch slightly beneath his palm.
“Yes, exactly that. Sometimes you’ll be able to feel her pulse if you’re holding her wrist, or.. Well, if you’ve got your hand around her throat. We’ll talk about proper choking another day, but you can see if her pulse jumps from that.” His hands were perfect for that, honestly, and she shouldn’t let her mind wander. Nope. “The noises she makes, if she pulls you further in, bucks her hips, those are all good signs. Not everyone is extremely vocal, but checking in to make sure she likes it, if she wants you to give more, it can help.
"Checking in?" He repeated, his eyebrows furrowing slightly as he tried to wrap his head around the idea. "You mean like... asking her if she likes it?" He shifted his hand lower still, fingertips brushing the hem of her joggers. "Like, 'is this okay?' Or 'do you like this?'" He could see how that might be helpful, especially with quieter partners. "But wouldn't that ruin the moment?" He looked up at her, genuinely curious and seeking approval.
“You don’t have to ask in such a sterile way. You can just say something like ‘does that feel good?’ or ‘that’s nice, baby?’ and see her response. You’ve got a nice voice, Har. Use it.” She gave him the compliment easily. He did need a bit of confidence boosting, that much she could already tell. “Checking in shouldn’t ruin the moment. It’s safe, it’s a sign of a good partner. You’ll figure out how to check in in a less… abrupt way.”
"Right... fuck me." He muttered under his breath, actually feeling slightly embarrassed about how little thought he'd put into this before. "I've been a clueless fuck, haven't I?" He sighed, running his fingers along her waistband more deliberately now, testing how she responded. His heart stuttered slightly when she complimented his voice."So like..." He traced patterns on her lower stomach with his fingertips, almost unconsciously. “Feels good?” Testing out the way she had suggested.
Y/N swallowed, feeling a bit of a shift. He had seemed to be having a good time touching her stomach, the light tracing on her skin making her heat up a little bit. She wasn’t blind- Harry had most definitely gotten hotter over the years, and he was just attractive in general. Though she hadn’t allowed herself to look at him as anything but the quirky best friend he was, getting to see a different side of him was something she was intrigued by.
“Mhm.” She tilted her head slightly to the side. “See? It doesn’t have to be straight into it. Just touches like that can get a girl wet.” It was starting to get to her, weirdly enough. “Tell me about kissing. How do you usually start it?”
"Kissing..." He trailed off, his mind briefly distracted by the way her skin felt beneath his fingers. "Uh... well. I usually start with a simple peck, just to see if they're into it." His other hand came up to gently tilt her chin, exposing her neck to him. "If they seem like I have the go ahead, I'll press my lips to theirs more firmly- it’s kinda hard to explain with words." Being a little bold, he let his thumb brush over her bottom lip absently as he spoke, his gaze fixed on her mouth.
“Well if you’re going to eat me out, I don’t see why you can’t just show me.” Kissing Harry had not been something she had anticipated actually doing, really ever, but she can’t say she hadn’t thought about it. The man had an incredible mouth. Soft looking lips, deep pink, the cute little birthmark, all of it was appealing- it was just that it wasn't a possibility for her prior. “Show me how you do it with them.”
His thumb brushed her bottom lip again, his breath hitching slightly at the idea of kissing her. It was just an exercise, he reminded himself firmly. This was just a dry run, to help him figure out his technique. But as he slowly leaned in, his heart rate picked up, eyes flicking between her lips and onto her eyes. "Like... this." He whispered hoarsely, sliding his hand back into her hair to tilt her head further. His lips pressed to hers gently, just a soft brush at first to test the waters. His lips were soft and warm against hers, the kiss gentle at first. He waited for her to react, to see if she would pull away or lean into it. As she didn't, he took it as his sign to keep going, slowly increased the pressure, his lips molding to hers in a soft, sweet kiss.
Feeling emboldened when she began to press her lips back to his, Harry peppered her lips with a series of short, sweet kisses. His lips brushed against hers once, twice, three times in rapid succession, each kiss a little firmer than the last. He could feel her starting to relax into it, her lips softening beneath his own. Encouraged, he let his tongue flick out briefly, a teasing taste before pulling back slightly to gauge her reaction. She tasted like the lemon lime soda she’d had with dinner, a sweet surprise. All of this had been. He hadn’t been sure if she would say yes and if this would potentially make things weird, but thankfully Y/N seemed at least a little receptive to it. His hand remained in her hair, holding her gently as he studied her face for any signs of discomfort or approval. “Okay?”
Y/N knew he would be a good kisser, but he was playing it safe. However, even with the safety still on, she knew he had it in him. He wasn’t as shy as he had been before and that had surprised her a bit when he had gripped her to keep her in place. That had been exceptionally hot. At least to her. “Yeah. You did well.” She cleared her throat to rid herself of the rasp. “You’re playing it safe, though. Here.”
Swinging her knee over his lap, she pushed him back against the back of the couch so his posture was more relaxed. “You’re stiff. Pun not intended.” She snickered, tossing her hair over her shoulder. “You’ve got to relax a little bit. I don’t know if it’s just me or you get anxious when you kiss other girls too. The thing you did holding my face still? That was hot. It’s gonna depend on the girl but you seem to have an idea on what to do.” Placing her hands on his broad shoulders, she settled her weight on top of him. Hm.. he really had been doing well at the gym. “You okay with me on your lap?”
Harry blinked in surprise, trying to catch up to the fact that she was currently in his lap. Closer than she usually got to him, voluntarily hopping on up. “Y-yes! I mean, yes, please. Go on." His voice cracked slightly at the end, betraying his nerves. He wasn’t sure if it was from the unexpected closeness or just the sudden shift in dynamic between them. Her weight felt nice on his lap, but besides a cuddle or two this was definitely the closest they’d ever been. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be nervous.”
Y/N nearly cooed. His frown was precious, really. He was precious. Sliding a hand over his jaw, she tilted his head to meet her eyes. “It’s okay to be nervous, but it’s just me. I’m not going to judge you. You asked for my help, and I’m gonna give it to you.” Slipping her fingers in his hair, she made herself familiar with touching him. They hadn’t been super touchy to begin with but she knew Harry liked physical touch. He was clingy with their other friends physically, but he had always respected that Y/N typically wasn’t the type. Now though? It was free game. “You can touch me how you want. Get familiar with me.”
Y/N wasn’t the type to truly judge if you really needed her and he knew that. Hell, that was why he had come to her in the first place- but she was intimidatingly beautiful. It set him off to be even more nervous. His mind briefly wondered if this was how he was in bed- overthinking everything- maybe that was why he didn’t get calls back.
“Shit.” He muttered softly, then snapped back to attention as she told him to touch her. He wanted to do that, he had always wanted to but Y/N only really liked to be cuddled when drunk. When she was, she would be giggly and happy, hold on to his hand and swing them back and forth, especially when he helped her get into the car. It had always made him feel special, but this? It was a privilege to touch her. Hesitantly, he wrapped his arms loosely around her, testing the waters. “Like this?” He spread his fingers out slightly on her back, his thumbs nearly brushing the bottom of her bra strap under her top.
“Yeah, that’s nice.” Leaning into him, she let her fingers run over the rims of his glasses. “These are cute. I like them.” His new glasses suited him. They were a little bit thinner than his old ones and it was a tad bit more modern. She hadn’t been lying to him when she said he had the hot n’ nerdy advantage. “You’ve got really nice hands, Har. Use them.”
He blushed slightly at the compliment on his glasses, his fingers tightening slightly on her waist possessively. "You really think?" He asked softly, tilting his head to the side to give her better access to his face. He liked when she did little things like that, adjusting his glasses or messing with his hair. Maybe it was because he felt touch starved, particularly from her, but the simple brushes of her fingers made him feel that heat in his lower stomach. It was so simple but the air felt a lot thicker than it had before. He took a deep breath, steeling his nerves to be more bold as he slowly dragged his hands over her hips.
“Mhm.” She nodded, gently running her nails over his scalp. “See? I’m not too scary.” Though she had to admit that the feeling of his big hands pawing at her and running over her hips and waist made her feel a little bit giddy. Maybe she could attribute it to the fact it really had been a while since she had been touched in a way that wasn’t friendly, but her body liked the way it felt. “You’re being polite, which is nice. But as cute as your little gentleman thing is, I know you want to grab my ass, Harry. You can do it.”
Harry's breath caught as she said that, his eyes darkening slightly behind his glasses. He had definitely been thinking about it, doubted there was anyone who saw it and didn’t want to, but he hadn't wanted to overstep. Hearing her give him permission was like a green light and he couldn't help himself. His hands squeezed her hips before slowly sliding down to grip her ass, his fingers spreading out to knead the soft flesh. "Fuck..." He muttered under his breath, his voice hoarse. "You're so soft."
His grip on her ass tightened reflexively as he pulled her more firmly against him, a low groan escaping his lips. The heat of her pressed deliciously against his hardening cock, and he couldn't help but roll his hips slightly, seeking friction. "Shit, Y/N...Sorry. I don't want to get carried away." He breathed, his face flushing darker. Here he was, rock hard with his best friend in his lap, from a little ass grab. It was embarrassing how quickly he had gotten worked up- But God, it felt good.
There was a sigh out of her mouth as she felt him start to relax and do what he wanted to do. This was closer to where she wanted him to get, but she hadn’t expected it to feel as good just being rubbed over his lap. “There you go- it’s okay.” She whispered. “That’s hot. You want to show her that you’re eager for her.” With her grip in his hair, she tugged his head back slightly to look at his pink cheek. “You’re a faster learner, I know. But you remember what I told you? Try kissing my neck. I told you the spots I like.”
His eyes fluttered shut as she tugged on his hair, his throat exposed to her. "Yeah. I can do it. S’long as you feel good, m’happy..." He whispered, his voice rougher than she had ever heard it. Leaning into her touch, he let her guide his face into her neck and followed instructions quickly to press open mouth kisses to her skin. He started at the spot just below her ear, as she had told him about, sucking gently on the soft skin. His hands continued to grab at her ass, pulling her flush against him as he kissed and sucked his way down her neck.
The kisses trailed lower, his lips hot and damp against her neck. Each press of his mouth made chills rise on her skin, his stubble lightly scratching her sensitive skin in the most delicious way. As he sucked gently on a particularly sweet spot, she couldn't help but tip her head to give him better access, a soft gasp escaping her lips. None of this had been expected, but liking his mouth on her skin hadn’t been. Maybe it really was just the fact it had been a while but… it felt better than her last hookup.
Harry was her friend and she trusted him. She felt safe, and that probably made her feel a lot more comfortable, just as it probably did for him. But having his hands all over her was something her whole body was responding to. A quick learner, he had realized how much she liked feeling the friction and did something about it. His strong hands gripped her ass harder, pulling her over his lap and letting feel the throb of him through their clothes.
He could feel her getting heavier in his lap, her breath growing shallow as he continued his adoration of her neck. It felt amazing, yes, but he was in a bit of awe. Harry really should have known that Y/N didn’t half ass anything. She was thorough in everything she did- apparently it extended to teaching him how to please a woman. His hands roamed freely as he adjusted, taking a risk in spreading her legs wider over his lap to better fit her between his thighs.
"Am I doing okay?" He mumbled into her neck, his voice muffled. "Is this warming you up enough? Or should I be doing more?" His fingers flexed on her hips before sliding down, spreading out to rest on her thighs.
“You’re doing good.” The thickness in her throat made her voice a bit raspier, unsure how she had managed to let herself get to this point. It felt really fucking good. His hands strong and so fucking big, splaying over her thighs. The heat of them seeming to radiate through her skin and down to her bones, she wanted to lean into that touch.
God, she was touch deprived.
He had done a good job in making her panties damp and it felt almost embarrassing that a little bit of heavy petting and kissing on the neck had her pussy throbbing, but she couldn’t exactly deny it. Lightly rubbing herself against him again to get more of the friction her body was demanding, she closed her eyes and let her head lean back before she admitted it to him. “You’re making me wet.”
His whole body seemed to tense up at her whispered admission, his hands flexing on her as he took a breath. "You are?" He whispered back, his voice not able to contain his surprise. He had hoped he was doing something right- especially after all the apparent failures he’d had- but hearing that she was wet from just his touch and kisses was... something else. He wasn't used to being this effective. His ego swelled slightly, making him bolder. "Can I... touch more?" He asked hesitantly, his fingers inching higher up her thighs. "Can I feel what I’m doing to you?"
His words had her gritting his teeth. Where the fuck did that come from, and why did it made her throb? Letting out a breath through her nose, she opened her eyes to look at him. It shocked her a little, seeing his lips swollen and eyes a little hazy, glasses a tiny bit crooked. He looked disheveled in a way he usually didn’t. Of course he had always been hot but this look in particular, knowing it was caused by her specifically? It fueled her ego too.
“Y-Yeah.” She nodded, clearing her throat. “Yeah, you can. That’s what I’d tell you to do next. You have good instincts.” It was a mystery to her how Harry, who was good at almost everything, had struggled to make a girl cum- but she was the teacher now. “You can slip your hand into the waistband.”
"Fuck. Thank you." Harry muttered under his breath. He couldn't believe he was actually about to touch Y/N intimately, after all these years of being just friends… It was insane. He wasn’t unable to see how insanely fucking hot she was, that had never been an issue. He’d had a few questionable wet dreams about her- but the actual idea of ever touching her hadn’t come up until recently, and he was liking it a bit more than he probably should be for a lesson.
With trembling fingers, he slowly slipped one large hand down the front of her joggers, sliding it along her stomach until he reached the top of her panties. "Can... can I? Under them?" His breath was warm against her neck as he asked permission, albeit a bit jumbled, waiting for her nod before slowly slipping under the final piece of fabric that kept him from her most intimate place.
At her nod, he released a deep breath through his nose. His heart was racing as he slowly pushed his hand under her panties, the back of his fingers brushing against the soft, damp fabric. He could feel the heat emanating from between her legs, his own body responded accordingly. His cock was pulsing in his briefs, surely starting to make a bit of a mess. "Holy shit." Harry breathed, his voice shaking slightly as he explored her with his hand. His fingers dipped lower, feeling the slickness coating her folds. “You really are fucking soaked.” Tilting his head up with an awed smile, he met her eyes. “I did that t’you?”
“Mhm.” It felt slightly harder to breathe as she looked at his eyes, seeing the pride in his face, feeling his fingers cupping her wet pussy and giving a little squeeze. It had her inhaling sharply, fingers on his shoulder digging into his shirt. “You did. I- I want you to show me what you do when you get to this stage with the girls you hook up with.” It was taking everything in her not to rock against his hand, staying still as she tried to ground herself.
His fingers trembled slightly as he tried to mimic what he thought he had seen in porn or heard from his friends. He had forgotten what to do. Another symptom of his damn nerves taking over. He roughly spread her lips apart, his thumb pressing against her clit as his middle finger pushed inside her soaked pussy. "Shit... I'm... I'm not really sure what to do..." He admitted, his voice shaking as he started to rub her clit in slightly sporadic circles while thrusting his finger inside her. It was clumsy and a bit rough, but he was trying his best.
“Okay- alright. Stop.” Making sure to keep her voice soft and not like she was scolding him, she held his face in her hands. “You’re jumping right into it a bit too fast, Honey.” The nickname fell from her lips a bit too easily but she decided to ignore that. “You need to ease into it. Find a rhythm. Pull your fingers out.” She instructed, gently stroking over his cheekbone. It was obvious he was embarrassed from his flushed cheeks, and she didn’t want that. He wasn’t doing too badly, but he’d asked for a lesson. That’s what she was going to give him.
“Hey… Look at me.” Tilting his chin up, she gave him a soft smile. “S’okay, Har. You came to me for help. I’m gonna help you. You didn’t do anything inherently wrong.” Still, she could see he felt some type of way about it, and she knew he needed a bit more comforting. Leaning in, her lips pressed against his in a soft peck. It was more intimate than it should have been, but she was again, going to ignore that. “Hi.” Smoothing the skin under his eye, she gave him a giggle. “Okay, so… You’ve got incredible hands. They’re so nice… and I know you can be good with them. So let’s start slow, okay? Do slow circles over my clit with your thumb. Nice n’gentle.”
His shoulders had dropped slightly after her small kiss, ignoring the flutter he’d felt in his chest from it. He hadn't realized how tense he had gotten, like he had failed the test- but this was Y/N. Y/N was safe, she was kind despite how blunt she was, and she was helping him. There was no evidence of her making fun of him in her tone, simply sweet. Unusual, maybe, but it seemed like she knew what she needed.
"Okay." He mumbled softly, his cheeks slightly less red. Her compliments helped a bit- He had always had confidence issues when it came to this. "Like this?" He asked shyly, his large thumb slowly making small, loose circles over her clit. He was careful to keep his touch gentle like she asked, watching her face for any signs that he was doing it wrong again.
He felt her body tense pleasantly at his touch, a soft exhale escaping her lips. Encouraged by her response, he maintained the slow circles, his thumb brushing over her clit with deliberate gentleness. Her hips gave a tiny involuntary roll against his hand, seeking more of the pleasant friction. Harry's fingers twitched slightly, wanting to increase his pace but remembering her instruction. He resisted the urge, keeping the rhythm maddeningly slow.
“Yeah. That’s so nice.” She whispered. It was experimenting, letting him explore and get the hang of it. “Every woman is different. Some people will want it faster, some will want it rougher, but I like this to start.” She admitted, leaning into him. “Here.” Dragging the cropped top off of her body, she exposed the lacy bralette she had heard good reviews for to him. It was quite nice, holding her tits up in a way she hasn’t expected- but she’d chosen correctly today, unknowing that a man would be able to see it firsthand. “When you’re doing this, you keep kissing her. Licking. Sucking her nipples, if she’s into it.”
His eyes roamed over her bralette-clad breasts, the delicate lace contrasting with her soft, smooth skin. He felt his mouth watering, the urge to taste her growing stronger as he watched them move as she breathed- but thankfully, thank god, she had given the go ahead to touch. To taste. "Okay. I definitely can do that." He murmured, his thumb continuing its slow circles on her clit as he leaned in to press open-mouthed kisses to her collarbone.
His lips trailed lower, his kisses growing more intentional. The lace of her bralette tickled his lips as he worked his way down. He could see her nipples hardening beneath the fabric, making his mouth water. His thumb continued its steady, slow rhythm on her clit, causing her to shift slightly in his lap. It was surreal to feel her breathing, hear it so close up as he kissed over her pounding heart.
He was doing this to her. Harry was making her wet, making her squirm. The confidence the breathy moan she let out had him pushing for more. With one hand, he gently pushed the lace down to expose one breast fully, making her gasp softly. His lips immediately found her hard nipple, surrounding it completely and sucking gently.
“Oh, Jesus.” The words were pathetically, a mewl that came from the back of her throat as his hot tongue lapped over her swollen nipple. The suction was light, soft, just like his thumb on her clit- and it was enough to make her feel like she was going insane. “T-That’s really fucking nice.” She praised, raising her hand to card it through his fluffy curls. He must have just washed them, they always looked pretty when he did.
Hearing her moan like that, praising him so freely, sent a jolt straight to his cock. He hummed around her nipple, the vibrations deliberate this time. His tongue flicked over the hardened bud before he switched to sucking harder, desperate to elicit another gorgeous noise from her.
“Yeah- like that.” Rocking her hips slightly into his hand, she pulled his head closed onto her breast. It felt too good, too hot to stop. Yeah, this was a lesson, but that didn’t mean she wouldn’t enjoy teaching him. “Some girls won’t get much enjoyment out of this. Their nipples aren’t sensitive to it as much. If they aren’t responsive, you can keep it moving- or a-ask them if they want you to keep going.” Her voice was higher in pitch than she had meant for it to be but it wasn’t possible for her to control that right now. “I really like it, though. So it’s doing the job. You can rub my clit a little harder- give it more pressure.”
Her words had him nearly purring around her nipple. The little thrill went up his spine as her hips rolled into his hand, knowing that now he had a decent idea of what he was doing and could feel less nervous about it. Listening to instructions like he had promised he would, Harry added more pressure to his thumb, rubbing it harder over her little bundle of nerves. It was impossible not to feel her getting slicker against his palm, her breast filled his mouth perfectly, his tongue swirling around the peak before sucking it back between his lips. Almost overstimulation for his mind, but he wanted to keep going. He was trying his best to be good with his hands- he really was- But damn. Her body was so responsive.
Y/N wanted to continue this as long as she could. She wanted to feel him get more and more confident with it, but he seemed to have a grasp on it. There would probably be… a few times where they’d get to do this, and if she was honest? If they kept this up, she was going to cum and be too sensitive for his mouth. And by the way he kissed? She wanted to feel his mouth.
“Mmmm.. Har, Honey.” She whispered, gently tugging his mouth off of her tits with a gentle tug of his hair. “Hi. Hello.” It was stupidly cute, the slightly lost look on his face. “S’okay. You were doing good. A bit too good actually. I just think that we should get to teaching you how to eat pussy. I’ll cum if you keep going.”
He blinked rapidly, a slightly dazed look on his face as he tried to process why he’d been pulled away when he’d obviously been making her feel good. It felt incredible to have her nipple in his mouth, hearing her soft noises of pleasure. The haze of lust in his mind slowly cleared at her words, realizing she was probably right, even if he selfishly wanted to keep going. "Oh..." He murmured softly, a slight blush spreading across his cheeks. "Right. Okay." He adjusted his glasses, trying to regain some semblance of focus.
“Good.” She stroked his hair back with a tender smile, pulling him to kiss her again before taking a look at his face. “I’m gonna lay back, like this.” Sliding off his lap, Y/N settled against the arm of the couch pulling a pillow to rest her head on. The position had her sitting up slightly, but gave a more relaxed vision. Hopefully that would have him feeling calmer. “And you’re gonna lay between my legs once I get these off.” Her bottoms needed to get off immediately.
When he sat back, she tugged on the waistband and squirmed to get them off, haphazardly kicking them to the floor- along with her panties. There wasn’t much hesitance in showing her body to him. Y/N liked her body, she felt proud of it, and she embraced it. There was always those nerves though, being intimate with someone new- even if it was for a lesson. Spreading her thighs, she placed a hand over her cunt and motioned for him to lay down. “Do you remember what I said, Honey? About teasing?”
He nodded slowly, trying to remember all the instructions she had given him. "Tease first..." He murmured softly, adjusting his glasses nervously as he positioned himself between her thighs. Using his elbows to keep him up a bit, he swallowed the lump in his throat as he watched her spread them wider for his body to fit between. "Kiss, lick, don't go straight for the... the main event?" He asked hesitantly, his hands resting on her inner thighs.
“Very good.” Her face lit up as he looked at her for reassurance. “It’s the little things that get me. You know? The soft brushing of fingers on the thighs, the stomach, right above my pussy…” She trailed off with a sigh. “Kiss my thighs, Har. Can you do that for me?” Taking her hand off her cunt, she properly revealed it for the first time for his eyes to see.
Harry felt the breath catch in his throat as the sight of her bare pussy caught him off guard. It wasn’t lost on him that he was very lucky to be able to experience this. Y/N was beautiful and he adored her, but there was a new appreciation in him for how kind she was being. This wasn’t something you could just ask anyone. "Fuck..." He whispered, his hands squeezing her inner thighs gently as he leaned down to press a soft kiss to the delicate skin. "Like this?" He murmured, pressing open-mouthed kisses along her sensitive skin, his lips brushing over the crease where her leg met her hip.
“Mhm.”
He could see her body relax into the touch, her thighs parting a bit more to give him better access. Her skin was so soft and warm under his lips, and he could smell her scent growing stronger the closer he got to her center. Harry took his time, pressing gentle kisses along her inner thighs, his hands brushing along the skin in a featherlight touch. He could hear her breathing growing a bit shallower, her chest rising and falling a bit faster. It emboldened him to continue, to keep teasing her like she had told him to.
"You're... you're doing so good." Y/N breathed out, one hand coming to rest in his hair as she spread her legs wider, hooking one over his shoulder. She could feel herself growing wetter with each kiss, more aroused knowing he was taking his time to learn her body. Such a good little student. "Lower. Just a bit..." she whispered, guiding his head with gentle fingers. Her other hand drifted down to her breast, plucking at her nipple as she watched him between her legs. "Kiss right above my cunt.”
Eagerly following her guidance, he moved up to press a soft kiss just above her pussy, his lips brushing against her soft curls. He could feel the heat radiating off of her, smell her arousal. It was intoxicating, and he found himself nuzzling into her a bit, his nose pressing against her. "Fuck, you smell so good..." he murmured, his voice muffled against her skin. He pressed another kiss right at the top of her slit.
“Oh fuck- that was good.” She gasped in surprise. “That’s filthy. Rubbing yourself against me but… it’s so hot. Showing how eager you are to make the person you’re gonna pleasure, it’s really sexy.” Brushing his hair out of his face, she felt the heat of his breath over her cunt. “Tell me you want to eat me out. Talk to me.”
"I do..." His voice came out huskier than he'd planned, his eyes flicking up to meet hers briefly before focusing back on her exposed pussy. "Fuck, Y/N... I really want t’taste you." Without waiting for further instruction, he used his fingers to spread her open for him and pressed a gentle kiss directly to her clit, making her gasp loudly. "You're so fucking wet… Can’t believe I did this." His finger traced down her slit slowly, as if showing instead of telling how aroused she was.
"Your cunt is fucking glistening. I can already tell your pussy is sweet..." He muttered against her skin, his tongue peeking out to give her one soft lick. Tasting her for the first time, savoring the flavor on his tongue, he was proving that fact. She was perfect to taste- a pussy like this deserved the best of the best, and he wanted her to show him exactly what she liked. Y/N moaned loudly, her hips rolling slightly, a clear indication that she liked what he was doing. "Yeah? You like that? S’good for you?" Harry asked, his voice encouraging as he licked her again, this time a bit slower, applying a bit more pressure.
“Uh-huh… Shit.” She cussed, feeling his tongue swipe up and over her clit. “D-Do what you want. Let me see where it’s going wrong because right now from my perspective, you’re doing perfectly.” Why would he even need help? Was it a ploy to fuck her? That was doubtful considering Harry really, really wasn’t like that. The worst part was that she was liking it a lot more than she was supposed to. If she was training him on how to pleasure how she liked it, it was going to be hard not to lose it.
Harry smiled slightly at her words, feeling a bit more confident in his actions. He started slowly, his tongue flicking out to lap at her gently, his fingers keeping her open for him to fully access her. He could feel her wetness spread onto his chin, and he couldn't help but push himself, wrapping his lips around her clit and sucking softly. He looked up at her, checking her face for any signs of discomfort or pleasure.
He was learning, trying to remember how she had said she liked it. His tongue swiped up again, swirling around her entrance slowly before pushing inside slightly. "Like this?" He mumbled softly, his chin wet with her juices. He kept his movements slow and unhurried, his touch soft. He was tentative, like he was scared of messing up. "Is this good?"
“I.. Normally would say that’s a bit fast to push your tongue in but fuck, that felt nice.” She giggled breathlessly. “Here…” Her fingers were careful as she took his glasses off and tossed them further down the couch so they wouldn’t get in the way- or worse, crushed. “Wanted to see those pretty eyes.” Her fingers kept the hair out of his eyes as she felt a few kisses over her mound, in the thatch of curls above her cunt. His face was slightly wet, but it was erotic. “That feels so nice. The kisses…” She hummed. “You have the instincts. Don’t think too much about it. Doing things like that- That’s good. Just make me feel good. See what I respond to.”
Harry blinked owlishly at her, surprised by the sudden loss of his glasses but pleased when he realized she liked his eyes. His face flushed slightly at the praise, his tongue darting out to lick over her clit hesitantly. "Okay. You’ll tell me if y’don’t like it, yeah?" He asked, his breath ghosting over her sensitive flesh. He leaned in, pressing open-mouthed kisses to her pussy, the sound drowning out the tv playing at a lowered volume.
She nodded slowly, watching him between her thighs. He was almost shy like this, his face buried in her pussy as he kissed around it sweetly. His lips were soft, his kisses unhurried. He spread her wider with his thumbs, his tongue poking out to give her one slow lick from bottom to top. Her hips shifted slightly, chasing the feeling. "You taste so good." He mumbled softly, his voice sending vibrations against her. “I didn’t expect you t’get so wet for me. Soaking my chin. I love it.”
His words seemed to have struck a chord in her, judging by how sharply her breath hitched and her legs involuntarily tried to press around his head. She visibly flustered, clearly flattered by his filthy compliments- and shocked. Had he always had that in him? "Harry..." She whimpered, the sound of his wet mouth against her flesh combined with his sweet, dirty words making her pulse against his tongue. "You... should be careful with that mouth." She whispered, her hand tangling in his hair again, guiding him slightly without putting any pressure.
He chuckled softly, the vibrations traveling pleasantly through her core. "Why's that?" He murmured teasingly against her skin, his tongue darting out for another long, slow lick. He could feel her practically melting under his mouth, her thighs quivering slightly. This was how it was supposed to be. Maybe it was because he didn’t feel as anxious with her, they had repor, he truly trusted her- but it felt like he had a better sense of her body and what she liked.
She’d given him clues and tips, but he was finding out on his own what she liked. It was something he was enjoying the longer he did it, feeling more eager to bury his face in her pretty pussy and never leave. Especially when he felt her hand tighten in his hair and her body shift to get more. "Worried I might make you cum too hard?" His tone was playful, a little more confident now, and that was dangerous for her. Feeling him nipp gently at her clit, soothing it with a flicker of his tongue immediately after was enough proof of that. Looking up at her he tried to see if that was okay, but the noise she let out had him feeling fairly sure it was.
"Fuck, Harry... You smartass.” The giggle turned into a pitched moan very quickly after though, her back arching as he sucked on her clit in retaliation, her hips rolling against his mouth. Harry could feel her getting closer, her pussy getting wetter. He knew the signs, she was teaching him. His hands gripped her hips tightly, holding her in place as he licked into her eagerly. She was so responsive, her body reacting to his every move. He felt powerful, in control- and it was a heady feeling.
"Jesus, your pussy is perfect." He mumbled between kisses, not caring if she could hear him. He could see her getting close- her thighs trembling, her breathing quickening, and the way her fingers were now tight in his hair. That was his goal. He wanted to make her cum so fucking bad it hurt. His cock was a mess in his trousers but he didn’t care. All he wanted was to make her cum, hard. He wanted to clean it up as he made himself messy. "Do you want my fingers inside you?" He whispered, not missing a beat with his mouth returning to his suckling. He kept the pace steady but increased the pressure just slightly, wanting to hear her response.
"Yes..." Y/N breathed out the single word, squirming helplessly against his face. His mouth felt incredible and he obviously felt better about what he was doing now, taking more risks that only worked out in her favor. "So good, honey. You’re doing so good, your mouth is perfect."
How had he been bad with these other women? All it took was a little bit of instruction with a soft voice and he was licking into her like she was his last fucking meal.
She gasped, her nails nearly digging into his scalp as he slipped one finger inside her easily. "Your fingers are so big. Holy shit..." She panted, grinding down on his hand. "More..." She begged, knowing damn well she hadn’t wanted to be this needy for it but god damn. He was a good student. A very fast learner. "Please." The woman’s voice cracked with need. "Harry, please..."
He curled his fingers slightly inside her, hitting that spot he’d read about but had never actually found on a woman before. He must be doing it right, because she was practically sobbing his name, her hips bucking against his hand. He added another finger, stretching her slowly but surely, his tongue never stopping its slow, deliberate lapping.
It was obvious what she liked, what made her feel good, and he wanted to keep doing it. Memorize it so he knew how to do it perfectly next time- or continue practicing until he had it down. His head felt fuzzy with the need to get her there, to make her feel hot under the skin like he had been clueless about before. "Look at me." he mumbled against her, his voice muffled but insistent. He wanted to see her face contort with pleasure, wanted to watch her get closer.
It felt like her entire world had narrowed down to his fingers inside her and his tongue on her clit. It really had been far too long since she’d been touched and even longer since she had been eaten out with this amount of vigor. Maybe it hadn’t ever happened prior to him, but her brain wasn’t fully working. She was so close, teetering on the edge and he just... he just kept pushing her. Adding more, curling just right, licking and sucking in a rhythm that seemed designed to drive her insane.
Y/‘ couldn’t see him fully, not with his face buried smugly between her thighs, but she managed to lift her head, her eyes finding his own as he had demanded. The intensity in his gaze, the desperate need, it was too much. “Just like that, you’re going t’make me cum. Just like that, keep it like that- fuck.” Her groan seemed angry but it was anything but. She was worked over and sulking at how good it felt. “Shit, you love eating pussy. Don’t you, Harry? Just needed s-someone to show you how they like it.”
"Fuck yeah." He breathed against her, his eyelids drooping with pleasure at her accusation. He loved this, every fucking second. The slick sounds of her arousal, the way her pussy clenched around his fingers, the taste, how she grabbed at his hair, the sounds she made, the changes in her breathing, her squirming, the way her words slurred a little bit, the pulsing against his tongue.
God. Harry fucking loved it- he just didn’t know it could be this good. Addicting.
The vibrations as he groaned happily between her lips had to be adding something extra. "Knew I'd love it. Jus’ want to be able to make you feel good."
"Cum on my face baby, okay? Just let go. I wanna taste you." He whispered hoarsely, pressing a sloppy kiss to her clit before sucking it back into his mouth. His fingers curled again and again inside her, hitting that elusive spot over and over as she dripped all over his fingers and down the back of his hand. He wanted to make her shatter, wanted to feel her cum all over his face and fingers like he had been working toward.
There was no way she could even respond properly. The constant stimulation to her g-spot, his repeated sucking on her clit, the way he sloppily ate her cunt with little regard of the mess she was making on his face- the only thing he seemed to give a fuck about was making her cum. Who was she to take that from him?
Her body tensed, her back arching as she let out a long, drawn-out moan. It was a sound of pure pleasure, her entire being focused on the overwhelming sensation of him working her over. She came hard, her pussy clamping down on his fingers as she gushed all over his face and hand. Her hand was tight in his locks, tugging as a garbled moan left her mouth and she attempted to writhe. He kept her held still as he moaned loudly against her.
In fact, Harry didn’t stop. Even as she came, he kept eating her, his fingers still curled inside her as he lapped up her cum, cleaning her up. He was fucking starving for it, for the taste and the sound and the feeling of her losing control. He sucked and licked her pussy, feeling it spasming occasionally, until he was certain he had cleaned up every last drop- And her weak push of her hand against his head. Only then did he slowly pull his fingers out, his face and hand coated in her.
She was a goddess, slumped back against the cushions with a flushed, dazed expression. Harry couldn't help but kiss her inner thigh as it twitched before wiping his mouth. "Fuck, you’re amazing." The man murmured. Crawling up her body, he claimed her lips in a messy kiss, letting her taste herself. “Thank you.” It was mumbled between lazy kisses. “Thank you, Thank you.”
His hands roamed over her as he continued to kiss her sloppily, his body heavy on top of hers. He was still fully dressed, his erection painfully trapped in his pants. "Y/N... I’m sorry, but can I?" He asked softly, his fingers already working at the button of his jeans, his intent clear. "I gotta cum. Can I cum on your cunt? Please?” If he wasn’t so horny he would be embarrassed for doing this, but he was losing it. When it died down, he would definitely be embarrassed for how insane he sounded, but he couldn’t help it. Maybe the lack of blood flow to the head, it was going directly to the other.
“Shit.” Y/N laughed weakly, her body feeling like pins and needles as it came down from the orgasm. The idea was one she had considered, especially with how good he had listened- a reward. “Yeah, Honey. As a reward.” She sighed, leaning her head up further. “I wanna watch.”
He almost whined at her words, practically tearing his jeans open wide enough to pull out his stiff cock. He pushed his pants down towards his calves, staying there between her spread legs. His hand gripped his dick tightly, squeezing as he looked up at her face from his spot between her legs. "Yeah- yeah, please watch. I love being watched.” His hips moved forward unconsciously as he ran his cock over her, the head of his dick smearing pre-cum all over her cunt.
“Cute little exhibitionist.” Y/N cooed, running her hand over her stomach. “Go ahead. You’ve got such a pretty cock, but it looks like it hurts.” Her lips formed a soft pout. “Stroke yourself and cum all over that pussy, Harry.”
"Fuck, fuck, fuck." He chanted under his breath, his hand moving faster over his shaft. With his tip pressing against her clit, he ran it up and down her slit. "You're so pretty. Your cunt is beautiful- all of you, so fucking gorgeous." He complimented her, his words coming out in short gasps. It was so hot, the way her lips spread around him, how she looked all fucked out and messy from his mouth. "I'm gonna cum, I'm gonna cum all over you, baby."
Y/N looked up at him with a soft, encouraging smile, her eyes staring into his with that tinge of desire. "Cum for me, Harry. Cum all over my pretty little pussy. I wanna see it, I wanna see you lose it." Her hand moved down to spread herself, holding herself open for him. "You've been so good, so obedient. You deserve it. Such a good student, a fast learner… You can have it. Cum on my cunt." Her voice was gentle but commanding, the perfect blend of sweet and dirty that had him right on the edge.
"Fuck, Y/N..." Harry whimpered, his eyes fluttering shut as her words pushed him over the edge. With a final thrust of his hips, he came undone. He felt the first spurt of his hot, sticky cum hit her pussy lips, coating them in his release. He groaned loudly, his body shuddering as he pumped out rope after rope of cum, covering her cunt completely. "Oh my god... Oh my god."
Even as he finished cumming, a few last spurts dribbling out to make a mess across her lower stomach, he couldn't look away from where his cum coated her pussy lips, right in her thatch curls and the surrounding skin. It was obscene, filthy, and he loved it. Y/N had made him lose his mind a bit, but he didn’t really want to find it.
Breathing heavily, he finally met her gaze with a slightly embarrassed but mostly pleased grin. "Holy fuck, that was hot." He murmured, swallowing hard. "Never done that before. Came so fucking hard..."
"Good, cause you made a mess." She giggled, watching him as his chest heaved. The sight of his stomach and abs glistened with a light sheen of sweat- his hair was ruffled and he looked like he’d had a workout instead of jerking off on her body. "You like that, I think. Making a mess." She asked softly, watching as he continued to stroke himself slowly, milking himself. Her eyes were drawn back to his dick. It really was beautiful- and really fucking big. “Where the hell were you hiding that? God damn.”
He couldn't help but chuckle at her comment, glancing down at his slowly softening dick with a smirk. "Guess I just needed the right inspiration, huh?" He teased lightly, finally releasing his grip on himself and leaning forward to rest his forearms on either side of her head, caging her in slightly. His face was mere inches from hers now, his glasses gone and his hair disheveled in the sexiest way possible. “Just need t’do this before we clean up and act normal again. Don’t yell at me.”
His mouth claimed hers slowly, lips moving softly against hers. He licked into her mouth slowly, like he was savoring her taste, his body half covering hers. His hand cupped her cheek as he deepened the kiss slowly, like he was trying to imprint himself onto her. Just as quick as it started though, it was over. She shouldn’t have been so sad about that. He pulled back slowly, his forehead resting against hers. His eyes opened slowly to find her watching him softly, their lips still wet and swollen from the kiss. He grinned slightly, licking his lips again. “See? Not so bad.”
“Yeah.” She laughed, feeling dazed. Who the fuck was this? And why did he kiss so good it made her toes curl? Who was this and what had they done to her best friend? “I think your problem isn’t that you don’t have skill. Naturally you seem to get it. I think you’ve just gotten into your own head and you think too much.” She had been a safe person and it was easier for him to lose that anxiety with her, knowing she had already agreed to teach him.
“It can be hard to perform if you’re not able to properly get into it. Your dick can be hard as nails, but your mind not being in it will be a mood killer and they’re gonna know.” The smile on her face was slightly sad but she knew it was what he had to hear. “Because honestly? I haven’t orgasmed like that in ages. All it took was a few tweaks and you had it down. Maybe you just aren’t a hookup guy. Did that feel a lot different than the other people?” Maybe he needed someone who could openly communicate. The expectation of someone just knowing wasn’t always fair.
"Yeah." He hesitated, shifting slightly to prop himself up on one elbow next to her. His other hand traced patterns on her stomach absentmindedly. "It was... different." He seemed to struggle with the words for a moment. "With those other girls, I was always nervous. Overthinking every single fucking thing. Like you said." He glanced at her face, a slight blush forming across his cheeks. "With you... it felt natural. Real. And fuck, listening to you moan like that… Where did those lungs come from?"
“You freak!” She laughed, pushing his shoulder to get him to sit up. Adjusting her bralette back over her breasts she didn’t bother with the bottoms yet, because she really needed to go clean up. Secretly she was pleased that she had been different. It was so cliche to say it, but she wanted to be different than them. She just… wasn’t quite sure why yet. Her brain hadn’t come back down to earth fully and she couldn’t be bothered to truly question it. “You won’t need many lessons on how to pleasure a woman with results like that, I’m telling you that. Good job.” Reaching out, she squished his cheeks with a soft coo before he shot her a look.
"Oi!" He laughed, swatting her hand away playfully but with a big smile on his face. "Don't treat me like a puppy. And..." He hesitated, reaching up to cup her face gently, his thumb brushing her lower lip. "Did it really feel that good? I mean." His voice dropped to a slightly embarrassed whisper. "Am I actually good at this stuff?" For someone who had just made her orgasm so hard, he suddenly seemed insecure again. Like he needed validation. "I know you don’t lie like that, but it just feels weird. Cause everyone else seemed disappointed… I thought I’d be completely awful.”
“Oh, H.” She frowned at his vulnerability. “It was really good for me. I think maybe you just need some lessons on how to let go and relax when you’re being intimate. And I’m happy to teach you that.” Brushing her hand over his stubble she gave his chin a pinch. “Trust me. I’d tell you if you needed a lot of work. It can be hard for women to cum from oral sometimes too. It’s hit or miss for me, and you had me cumming so easily so, I would say it was probably a mix of feeling safe and you having some good natural instincts you couldn’t tap into before because you were anxious and your brain was in overdrive.” Pulling him into a hug, she squeezed him lightly as she inhaled his scent. He smelled like mint and sex, with a tinge of laundry detergent. Appropriate.
“When I’m done with you, we’ll have it all squared away and figured out. Okay? Don’t think about those times. Think about the fact you’re gonna get to fuck your really hot best friend.” Standing up from the couch with a laugh and a pat to his head, she walked to the bathroom to get herself clean- and take a minute to breathe. Her chest was doing a weird thing it hadn’t before and she didn’t want to think about it. “Hey, can you order something from that cookie place to be delivered while I shower please? Use my phone, my card is already in the app. Thank youuuu.”
He watched her leave, a small smile on his face at her words. It was a relief to hear that he wasn't completely incompetent. Flopping back against the cushions, he stared at her ceiling fan as it whirred around with a content sigh.
As requested, he ordered a batch of her favorite cookies from the nearby bakery, adding a special request for extra chocolate chips with a small chuckle. She had ordered quite a few times recently, so he had tried to replicate it while adding white choc macadamia for himself. A classic, even if Y/N would wrinkle her nose for them sharing a box.
After submitting it for the delivery, he found himself humming softly, a warmth spreading through his chest at the thought of learning more from her. That had been so good, he felt so relieved that he wasn’t defective- but he did have to wonder how he was going to be this comfortable with anyone else. Y/N was easy to unwind around. It was hard to imagine him getting as comfortable with anyone else in the way he was with her.
Getting closer to her in a vulnerable and intimate way was sure to grow their friendship. He couldn’t really see it backfiring. Their friendship was too strong.
Right?
#jarofstyles#harry styles one shot#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles fanfic#harry styles smut#harry writing#harry styles imagine#harry drabble#harry styles blurb#harry styles writing#nerdy!harry#nerdy harry styles#nerdy harry#Harry styles au#harry smut#Harry fluff#harry styles fanfictions#harry styles one shots#harry styles fanfics#harry fanfic#harry styles fic
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okay but I kinda need read a fic where Shen Yuan is wife plotted (AGAIN) by some random papapa plant (dammit Airplane--) and he basically falls into a floating coma or something. on a hunt for some rare herbs with liu qingge, he's lured by the sound of his Binghe's (his lost little lamb) voice and ends up ensnared.
okay, imagine that he's being held high in the air by these vines, just asleep, and nothing can wake him, even after liu qingge cuts the monster plant down to get him. he's just sleeping, rosy-cheeked, unwakeable.
peak lords panic, and start trying to figure it out what this rare plant is. sqh wracks his brain somewhat and somewhat remembers this plot line.
they come to the conclusion that its the everlasting dreams flower or some shit. basically traps the victim in their dreams while it sucks out their qi until the person dies of dehydration/starvation or qi loss, whichever kills them first (sometimes, its not the latter, and if the person is a cultivator, they can last a while before their qi is fully drained enough that they can no longer practice inedia but also haven't died yet). meanwhile, the person won't even care because their dreams are so sweet, that they don't want to leave.
the only way to cure it? true love's song. someone who truly knows and loves the sleeper needs to sing something from the heart, and if it's pure enough or something, it can pierce through the pleasant dreams of the person and wake them up. yqy and lqg instantly become flustered, but both of them can't help but secretly wonder how it would feel to have Xiao jiu/shen-shixiong wake up at their song.
they confer with the rest of the peak lords a little outside of shen yuan's resting rooms on the Qian Cao peak, and yqy decides to sing a little lullaby he used to sing to Xiao jiu when they were still on the streets. he goes in, his voice is a steady but a bit nervous, but he croons that shit out. airplane can't believe his fucking ears. yqy could honestly be an idol its not fair wtf-- only, sqh knows he can't dance to save his fucking life, so.
when yqy finishes, he waits, but his heart sinks when Xiao jiu doesn't so much as stir. he hurries out of the room but sqh notices how the tips of his ears are red in embarrassment. of course, even when he still had his memory, Xiao jiu wanted nothing to do with him, why did he think it would change now, he just--
lqj goes in next. he murmurs a song that he constantly hears sqq sometimes strumming on his guqin, thinking that means sqq must love the song. he's not sure what else he can do, he doesn't know how to sing from the heart, but the feelings he has for his shixiong... he has to at least try to wake him.
he doesn't wake. lqj walks out in defeat.
airplane who has been wracking his brain all this time because he was trying to think of requirements for awakening so he wasn't paying attention suddenly jumps up. he doesn't mind the startled glances that the other peak lords give him.
he just remembered!
the song didn't have to be a romantic song or anything. the love for the sleeper didn't have to be romantic love, at all! he remembered this plot line that he added about binghe trying to wake one of his wives, but it was one of the wives' sisters that woke her, because she truly loved her sister deeply. causing binghe to realize that his love was becoming shallow, in that it wasn't enough anymore or blah blah blah. he scrapped that plot line and that plant after he got a ton of bad reviews for even suggestion that lbh's love (pillar) wasn't big enough and so he had lbh fix it with papapa, but whatever!
he shivered.
anyway, the story has been so warped over time that its only told that it has to be a romantic lover. but it didn't have to be.
he had an idea. he loved Shen Yuan! despite the rocky start, their shared transmigration and experiences led them to form a closer relationship, and Shen Yuan was his best friend. he knew him wholly, both in his bitchiness of Cucumber-bro of their old lives, and in the snarky-masquerading-as-pretentious SQQ he was in their new lives. He knew him as a whole of Shen Yuan, not as Xiao Jiu, or as the original goods.
and also, both he and Shen Yuan had discovered they both liked some similar songs during one of their weekly private meetings a few weeks ago, while Shen Yuan was there under the guise of planning their eventual escapes, but was actually just drinking up all his wine and ransacking his snacks.
he's got this! (he hopes.) (he would quite not like his bro to die from an unwakeable coma.)
confidently, with incredulous stares following him, he walks into the room and sits at shen yuan's bedside. and proceeded to sing, as smoothly as he could, a vocaloid love song. if nothing else, it might shock Shen Yuan awake to hear a random ass vocaloid song in his dreams. the lyrics are actually pretty sweet and soft, but he can't stop imagining the music behind it, making it funnier than it should be to sing it.
[Shen Yuan, whose dreamscape has become completely synchronized to his current living conditions and so he dreams of the serene bamboo hut: *sitting at his table with binghe pouring him more tea* *sudden hatsune fucking miku disturbing the atmosphere*
Shen Yuan: 👁️👄👁️]
while he tries not to giggle as the song comes to an end, the stares of the other peak lords boring into his back from the doorway (he can just hear them thinking, "yqy and lqg couldn't wake him up but you think you can?" but maybe that's just his imagination. or maybe they think the song is shitty, what does he know--), shen yuan's eyes flutter open.
airplane, who didn't think this would actually actually work (though he hoped), gapes at him. Shen Yuan, eyes half lidded from sleep, gazes back.
"uh..."
"The everlasting dreams flower, really? That was a really good plot line, can't believe you, ah," Shen Yuan yawns, "dropped it in favor of more papapa as always, you shitty author." He can't catch a break. Why did he wake this guy up again?
"he's awake!?" multiple voices cry out.
THUMP. yqy has fainted.
they both have forgotten their audience. liu qingge has goes outside to punch a tree. the other peak lords are in various states of disarray, disbelief, and discomfort. liu minyan has appeared out of nowhere to take notes. mu qingfāng rolls his eyes and comes in to check shen-shenanigans's meridians.
"Can't believed that shit worked, honestly," Shen Yuan says, eyeing one of the older disciples try to drag YQY to a cot. he is starting to rouse. "hatsune miku, really?"
"aw! well now you know how deeply and purely I love you, shixiong!"
THUMP. YQY has fainted again.
more sounds of breaking trees from outside. mu qingfāng warily calls out a warning to avoid his good medicinal trees, thanks.
after a while of conversation, with eyes closing a bit once more, from exhaustion, rather than the plant poison, Shen Yuan gives Shang Qinghua a small smile. As his eyes flutter shut again, he says, "I love you too, bro."
#cumplane#cucumberplane#platonic cumplane#or not#think of it as you want#mxtx svsss#svsss#scum villain#scum villian self saving system#shang qinghua#shen yuan#shen qingqiu#wife plots#yue qingyuan#liu qingge#wife plot plants#contrived coma#love songs#I just wanted to have sqh sing sqq awake okay??? I thought it would be cute and funny and urgh#mu qingfāng#imagine sqh having to argue with his system first that is totally within character to do this as sqh wdym#even tho he has no OOC blocks#I think#or imagine the reverse#if sqq had to sing for SQH#bruh I think everyone would lose their fucking heads#like him??? he's the one you want???#queerplatonic#I think?#it could be if you want
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I was raised by a bear therian
Well, my dad never said himself that he's a bear therian, but even without the word "therian" being used, his experience as one was undeniable and incredibly clear to me. He spent much of my childhood talking about his dreams of Alaska, how the land there felt like home to him more than anywhere else on Earth. So much so that when the military asked him if he was willing to move North into Alaska, he immediately jumped at the opportunity and spent several years of his life living in Fairbanks back when the weather was still frigid and sometimes volatile. He camped in the wilderness regularly and would tell me stories of caribou surrounding his tent in the mornings, large grizzlies wandering through the rivers, and scraggly wolves with summer pelts trotting across the land. His job handling search and recovery cases at the time encouraged this lifestyle, especially in winter when people would go missing on the roads or crash their bush planes in the woods and he had to find the deceased and bring them back to civilization. Funny enough, he confessed to having a search and recovery team come and look for him at one point after he got carried away and stayed out in the forest for a little too long, deciding to ride the river near him a few miles away just as a "fun idea" and scared my mother into thinking he died out there.
I wasn't alive yet when my dad lived in Alaska though. I had my dad shortly after he had left, and I saw how much he missed it even at a young age. I honestly visited the state so often with him that you'd assume I had family there, but to him, maybe the Northern animals were family. I complained about it back then since I'd be wearing puffy coats and winter accessories in the middle of summer when everyone else was going to Hawaii or Mexico, but I saw how happy he was whenever he'd have a wild caught salmon for dinner or get to walk close to a glacier. When he'd see icebergs in the water from boat tours he'd be sitting entirely outside on the deck during or, most importantly, the day he finally got a chance to visit Admiralty Island (better known as "Fortress of the Bear"). It had always been his dream to go and as he sat there at ease in the tall grass fields watching the giant brown bears graze the fields a mile away. He had a look on his face as if he was meant to be there forever, that he was never supposed to leave. It was hard to not gain a fondness for the place with how much he loved it, and my dad would even tell my sister and I that the remote wilderness of Alaska is where he wants his ashes to one day be placed. Inevitably, I'll be going back again one day to the "final frontier" for him to finally be able to stay there forever like he wanted.
When he wasn't in Alaska, he was at home with me in Colorado taking me on adventures in the Rocky mountains. He was an avid fish lover, always packing salmon, halibut, or a tuna sandwich. I don't think he ate much else when I was a kid, and before my fish allergy developed, that was pretty much my diet too. I think he honestly was disappointed when I wasn't able to eat fish anymore, lamenting on the fact that I never got to have another Alaskan salmon or try a smoked fish. Every time his back would get itchy, he'd scratch it by using the corner between the doorway and the wall, very reminiscent of a bear using a tree to get some unreachable spot which I laughed about to which he'd shrug and say "it's an instinct I guess". Dessert always had to have honey in it, but if honey wasn't available, it had to be something with pumpkin or berries. Pumpkin pie, berry pie, and pumpkin ice cream were his favorites and his birthday dinners usually involved one of the three instead of cake. He often watched bear documentaries with me too, namely one I remember about someone who was the "Grizzly Man" who lived mostly in the wild and met his end to the very bears he spent his life around and I also remember him enjoying Never Cry Wolf, a 1983 film set in Alaska's remote North as well. It inspired him to apply for the ticket lottery every year for over a decade to try and win a trip to Katmai to see the bears during the salmon run, which he inconveniently won when he was literally already in Alaska and about to head back home. Needless to say, his irritated groans and pouts weren't forgotten on the plane back to Colorado.
My mom was mostly absent from my life in the sense that she played no healthy or genuine part in raising me despite being under the same roof due to her relentless addictions, so I do feel as if my childhood was mostly defined by being my dad's "bear cub". He loved animals and taught me to respect them and nature tremendously, and his "abnormal" behaviors became something I now recognize as something I resonate with as a grown otter therian. I sometimes wonder if he raised me into otterhood and if I would still be a therian without his influence, or if my otterhood is something of a "family trait" given that my older sister strikes me as a bird therian in many ways too, but I find it amusing to consider that there are so many animalistic individuals in my family who could fall under the alterhuman umbrella, and yet have never uttered the word "therian" in their lives. I'm curious how many other people in the world are just like me and simply never wanted to label it or explore it deeper, or worse, how many people have had it shunned into the depths of themselves to be forgotten about? I for one am grateful that I can call myself nonhuman and live a life understanding why I am the way that I am, even if I'm unsure of the source.
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