#whenever someone is nice to me or talks about thinking about me I get so happy and excited but that’s thru a screen like I forget
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fxrmuladaydreams · 17 hours ago
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angel on his shoulder: happy birthday (op81)
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mean!oscar x sweet!reader
summary: oscar struggles to find the perfect gift for your birthday
notes: again, he’s not really mean, but idk what to call him now
wc: 1533
prev. part
You had somehow managed to do it, to worm your way into Oscar’s life, to make yourself a permanent part of his day. What was once passing glances had now turned into soft smiles and quiet conversations. He looked forward to seeing you everyday, to talking with you.
He started saving a seat for you whenever he ate lunch, or sitting closer to Lando during meetings, so he could sit closer to you. He longed to be at the receiving end of your smiles and laughs, and mentally cheered when he was.
Of course spending more time with you meant spending more time with Lando as well. Oscar didn’t dislike Lando, not at all, but Lando could occasionally be… a bit much. Especially when he was wiggling his eyebrows at him for simply talking with you.
He was sitting in the training room at the MTC one day, getting ready to begin his workout when he feels an arm around his shoulders. He turns to see Lando smirking down at him.
“Hey.” He says.
“Hey yourself.” Lando replies. “What are you up to?”
Oscar furrows his eyebrows and looks around the gym. “What do you think?”
Lando rolls his eyes, but smiles as he walks towards a set of weights.
“Is, uh, is Y/n coming around?” Oscar tries to sound casual, but hearing Lando snort makes his face flush.
“To stay with me while I work out? I doubt she’d be interested in that.” He scoffs. “But I bet she’d be more interested if she knew you were here too.”
“What?” Oscar spurts. “Why would she?” He can feel his face burning up.
“No reason.” Lando says, teasingly. “Hey, what are you doing for next week?”
Oscar furrows his brows. “What’s going on next week?”
“Y/n’s birthday.” Lando answers. “You didn’t know?” He turns to look at Oscar.
Oscar tries to think back, wondering if you’ve mentioned your birthday.
“Well it’s next week. I’m throwing a party for her. You can come if you want.”
Oscar nods. “Yeah, yeah I’ll be there.”
Lando grins. “Good. She’ll be glad to hear that.”
Oscar tries to hide the blush he feels spreading on his cheeks.
“I’ve already got her gift picked out and wrapped. Not by me, of course. It’d look like I was handing her a wad of paper.”
“Gift?” Oscar asks. He feels panic beginning to rise in his chest.
“Yeah, gift. It’s a birthday.” Lando laughs. “You have to get her a gift.”
“Right.” Oscar murmurs. He stands up. “I think I’m done here, for the day.” With that he walks out of the training center, gym bag slung over his shoulder, his gaze locked on the ground as he leaves.
“Didn’t even see him do anything.” Lando mumbles to himself.
Oscar spends the rest of the day wracking his brain for something, anything to get you for your birthday. He could get you jewelry? But that seems too intimate. Money? Too casual.
He sits alone while he eats his lunch, staring off into space as he eats, trying to think of something.
“Hey, Os. You okay?” You ask softly placing your food down on the table next to him.
He snaps out of his thoughts, looking at you wide-eyed.
“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”
You laugh. “I don’t know, you’ve got this weird look on your face.”
He shakes his head. “No I don’t.”
“Okay, fine.” You laugh.
Oscar sighs, looking back at his food, but out of the corner of his eye he sees a book on your lap.
“What’s that?” He asks.
“Oh,” you smile, lifting the book to put it on the table. “It’s the book I’m reading right now.”
Oscar looks at the cover.
“It’s actually like, the tenth time I’m reading it.” You say.
Oscar snorts. “Why?”
“It’s my favorite book.” You shrug. “It’s so good. If you haven’t read it, I highly recommend it.”
Oscar hums.
“No, seriously, it would be so nice to have someone to talk to about it.” You whine. “I tried to get Lando to read it, and do you know what he said? He said ‘I’ll wait for the movie’. Can you believe that?” You ask.
Oscar laughs. “That sounds about right.” He watches as you push the book to the side to eat your lunch. “Hey, I gotta go, but I’ll see you later.”
“Oh, okay, see you.”
Oscar tries not to let the way your shoulders slump affect him. He gathers his things, and leaves you sitting there, pulling out his phone as he walks away.
After work Oscar goes to several different shops, looking for that damned book. He’s just about to give up, when he finally finds one lone copy. He keeps it tucked close to his chest as he walks to the checkout counter, as if afraid someone’s going to try to pry it from his hands.
He spends any free time he has for the week with his nose in the book. He brings it with him to the MTC, he reads it before and after work, he feels like the book becomes a part of him.
He shows up to Lando’s apartment for your party, with his gift tucked under his arm. He’d spent about an hour on picking a shirt, then another on fixing his unruly hair.
He has to admit, he’s surprised when he walks into Lando’s apartment. It’s not the bright rave lights or loud music he’d picture Lando would pick out for a party for himself, instead it’s soft warm lighting with some soft music in the background.
“I see you’ve made it.” Lando says, when he sees Oscar. “And you’ve managed to find a gift.” He smirks. “What’d you get her?”
Oscar shakes his head. “It’s nothing.”
“Keeping it a surprise?”
Before Oscar can answer, he’s pulled into a soft hug. “Thanks for coming, Os.” He hears your voice next to his ear.
Oscar smiles, wrapping an arm around you. “Happy birthday.”
When you pull away Oscar allows himself a moment to admire you. You’re wearing a soft dress that compliments you well. He notices the small sparking stone on the necklace around your neck.
“Pretty necklace.” He says.
You lift a hand to touch the stone. “Thanks. Lando got it for me.”
Oscar feels an uncomfortable twist in his stomach. His eyes search for the brit, who has made himself scarce.
“I told him it was too much. He said it’s the least he can do for me, having to put up with him everyday.” You laugh.
Oscar gives you an unconvincing smile, awkwardly shifting the gift under his arm, the gift he’s starting to feel immensely insecure about.
“Do you want to go sit somewhere?” You ask him. “Lando invited all of these people, but I don’t think I know half of them.” You laugh.
Oscar nods, following you as you lead him to the balcony.
You each take a seat, looking out at the sun setting over Monaco. He can’t help but admire you. The sun makes you practically glow, your eyes quite literally sparkle.
“Thanks for coming, really.” You break the silence. “I appreciate what Lando’s done, but I can’t help but feel a bit… out of place.”
Oscar hums. He holds out his gift to you, figuring it’d be better to deal with the embarrassment of you thinking it’s lame out here alone, rather than inside surrounded by people.
He watches as you tear open the gift, a confused look spreading across your face as you see what it is.
“It’s my book…” You say, holding the same book you showed him at the beginning of the week, though this copy is clearly newer. “Thanks Oscar.” You say, trying to hide your disappointment.
“Open it.”
You look at him confused again. “I swear if you cut a hole in my favorite book-“
“Just open it.” He cuts you off with a smile.
You slowly open it, flipping through the first few pages, the title page, the acknowledgment, the table of contents, until you get to the first actual page of the book.
Inside, surrounding the text in the book are little notes and doodles, scrawled in messy handwriting. You flip through the pages to see them everywhere.
“You annotated it?” You ask softly.
Oscar nods. “I read it this week. I figured it would be nice for you to have someone to talk to about it.” He says. He takes a deep breath. “Look, I know it’s not great-“
“I love it.” You cut him off.
“You do?”
You nod. You had copies upon copies of this book, paperbacks, hardcovers, special editions, sprayed edges, but none of them compared to the one in your hands. The one Oscar took the time to read, then write out all of his own thoughts for you. It felt like you were holding a piece of him in your arms.
“Yeah, I love it. Thank you.” You murmur, pulling him into a hug.
Oscar feels like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders as he wraps his arms around you. He smiles to himself, feeling like he’s successfully planted himself in your heart now.
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ssentimentals · 22 hours ago
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Hii can i request mingyu + hurt prompt #34? Thankssss
hi sweets! thank you for requesting, hopefully you will like it! 💜
hurt prompts: 'the things you said yesterday... did you mean them?'
someone is caressing your hand. it's a nice feeling to wake up, especially when you know who is responsible for said action. mingyu's face is the first thing you see when you open your eyes and you smile a little. mingyu doesn't smile back and memories of last night rush in, reminding you why you're waking beside him and not in his arms. before panic rises, you remind yourself that mingyu is caressing your hand gently now, so everything can't be that mad.
'morning,' you whisper, afraid to talk in a normal voice for some reason.
'morning.' mingyu repeats and clears his throat. 'slept well?'
you don't really remember how you fell asleep; probably knocked out from crying and fighting. arguments with mingyu were rare but whenever they did happen, they sucked all the energy out of you, leaving you drained and exhausted. truth to be told, you don't even remember coming to the bedroom, so mingyu probably carried you here once you fell asleep in the living room.
'not really,' you reply, not feeling rested at all. 'you?'
he shakes his head. when you first started dating, you both promised each other to never go to bed angry, so what happened last night is an exception of sorts. 'the things you said yesterday... did you mean them?' mingyu asks quietly, voice muffled by the pillow.
your mouth opens but nothing comes out. to your horror, you don't even remember about which things mingyu is talking exactly - a lot of stuff was said yesterday and not all of it was said due to anger or frustration. but mingyu is sensitive, always has been in a much more delicate headspace than you, so you tiptoe around the question, looking for the right answer while also staying honest: 'any of the mean and angry words - no. i love you, gyu, i'd never actually mean any of those. but what i said about the whole thing, like in the beginning, what made me upset in the first place.. yeah, i meant that. i stand by it even now.'
mingyu doesn't say anything at first. he just stares at your hands, chewing on his bottom lip, thinking about your answer. you both treasure honesty the most, so he knows you're being sincere. 'okay.' he settles for in the end, taking a deep breath. 'i also didn't mean everything i said after we moved from the kitchen to the living room.'
you smile and hesitantly interlace your fingers together. 'i know, gyu.'
he nods again and squeezes and when he does that, you feel like you can breathe again. if mingyu is not declining physical contact, if he's still here then you two can work it out. 'we don't have to do it now,' you say, not wanting to get up. 'we can just lay here for a while.'
sigh that mingyu lets out on this is full of relief. 'yes. yes- yeah. please.'
you both move in sync, slotting your bodies together until it's impossible to tell where one ends and another one begins. 'sleep a bit more for now,' mingyu whispers, holding you tight. 'i'll be here when you wake up.'
a/n: request your own here! <3 - nini
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t1ny-untitled · 1 day ago
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TILL X GN!READER
「 ✦ ‧₊˚ 🎸 ⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ
- in this au, Till is in love(?) with the reader!yn and sang a different song in Round 2 in where he thinks you like (the aliens don't know it was someone else's song). He feels unsure of his feelings for gn!reader until he sang the song. -
- Warning; Till might be ooc(out of character) so I apologize if it is. If anything, feel free to give me some tips or things to improve this or any of my future fics, thank you! -
「 ✦ ‧₊˚ 🎸 ⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ
날 스치는 그대의 옅은 그 목소리
(That faint voice of yours that grazed me.)
내 이름을 한 번만 더 불러주세요
(Please call my name one more time.)
얼어버린 노을 아래 멈춰 서 있지만
(I'm standing still under the frozen light, but)
그대 향해 한 걸음씩 걸어갈래요
(I will walk towards you, step by step)
Still with you
0:01 - 0:18
Still With You - Jungkook
‧₊˚ 🎸 ⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ✦ 」
[Reader] has always been the person that Till admired a lot. Watching them from afar with admiration. Through his journey of learning the guitar, they were his inspiration and motivation to continue on. For him, his education, and for them.
You were his childhood best friend he never wanted to let go. You were too kind to him. To people. To everyone. He likes that about you. He couldn't even believe that he met someone so caring like you. It felt so unbelievable.
He just wishes to at least hold your hand, wipe your delicate tears when you cry, let you sleep on his shoulder for as long as you can, and talk to you for countless hours.
It breaks his tiny heart whenever he sees you with someone. He had always tried to impress you. He wanted you to be proud of him. To notice him. To care about him. He had always dreamed about that.
And this is finally the time that he can impress you. And he won't mess it up. He can't mess it up.
‧₊˚ 🎸 ⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ
Till was now against a guy—Acorn. A short brown haired boy who is just the same age as he is. He looked at the audience with confidence. He knew he was gonna win this round. With this song he prepared. For you.
Surely, the music started to play, giving a somewhat soft but electrifying memory with his guitar. He tried to do it as softly as possible but also enough to maybe impress you.
He struck a few tabs and some chords, bringing the microphone to his mouth as he sang, giving a slightly blocked sound to impress the audience as well
"날 스치는 그대의 옅은 그 목소리."
"내 이름을 한 번만 더 불러주세요"
"얼어버린 노을 아래 멈춰 서 있지만"
"그대 향해 한 걸음씩 걸어갈래요"
"Still with you"
He sang in a soft tone before striking a slightly louder and improvised melody. The boy looked at him, not even knowing where to start singing until he continued.
"어두운 방, 조명 하나 없이. 익숙해지면 안 되는데 그게 또 익숙해"
("Dark room, no lights. I shouldn't get used to it but I'm used to it again.")
He sang, looking at the ground for a brief moment to think about all the things he had with you before when the two of you were still kids.
"나지막이 들리는 이 에어컨 소리. 이거라도 없으면 나 정말 무너질 것 같아. 함께 웃고, 함께 울고. 이 단순한 감정들이 내겐 전부였나 봐"
("This quiet sound of the air conditioner. I feel like I'd really fall apart without this. Laugh together, cry together. I guess these simple feelings were everything to me.")
A gentle smile creeped up to his face, looking up. He felt conflicted by his unknown feelings for you. And he wanted to be sure...
"언제쯤일까 다시 그댈 마주한다면? 눈을 보고 말할래요."
("When will I ever see you again? I want to look you in the eye and tell you")
"보고 싶었어요"
("I missed you")
Suddenly, he felt a switch in his heart turned on. A feeling of his heart racing as he continued on the lyrics with passion. He hasn't felt something like this until now... It felt so nice, even.
The brunette looked at him, slightly panicking as he looked at his score compared to the gray haired one. He looked back at the gray haired, seeing how he was smiling genuinely. His collar was green, showing his positivity. Or even, motivation..
He really hopes you like it...
‧₊˚ 🎸 ⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ
"Till!"
A young child said, running towards the young boy—Till "Look what I made!" The young child said, showing him a little bouquet of flowers. You were smiling like a little kid, giving the bouquet to him. "It's for you!"
Till looked at the bouquet, feeling his cheeks burn beet red by the sudden gift. "W—why me?!" He exclaimed, looking up at you with surprise.
The young child looked at him, confused but also upset, thinking he doesn't like it "Why? Is it ugly?" You asked, looking a bit saddened as you looked down at your bouquet. He didn't like it when he saw you like that. He quickly patted your head, trying to calm you down "I—I'm just asking! I didn't say anything negative about that!" *He protested, hesitantly grabbing the bouquet and hiding it up to his chest "H—happy?!" He says, looking down at you and hoping you would be happy again
The little child looked up at him, and your face brightened. "Sing me a song" You stated, looking at him with a smile. You knew he couldn't say no... "A—ah... Hrgh..." Till grunted, feeling his face heat up and looked away, looking timid. "Fine...!" He said making you smile brightly and jumped up and down.
You sat on the floor beside him, looking at him as if waiting for him to sing. He couldn't concentrate properly on how focused you are to him but eventually, he started to sing.
"황홀했던 기억 속에"
("In the ecstatic memories")
"나 홀로 춤을 춰도 비가 내리잖아"
("Even if I dance alone, it rains")
"이 안개가 걷힐 때쯤 젖은 발로 달려갈게"
("By the time this fog clears, I'll run with wet feet")
"그때 날 안아줘"
("Hug me then")
‧₊˚ 🎸 ⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ
He didn't even realize that he was zoning out and his opponent—Acorn was already singing while he was distracted. He felt angered to the point he slammed his guitar on the floor. He wanted it to be him he's impressing you. Not the flat haired guy.
It still made him mad despite him still winning over the brunette. Now he had just killed his alien guitar. Ahh... But all he wanted to know is if you liked it or not.
He goes back to where he was, trying to find you to see if you paid attention to his performance. He just hoped that you weren't sleeping that time since you are a heavy sleeper... But luckily, when he came back, you instantly greeted him with a soft smile and waved at him. The only thing that filled his mind is that you liked it based on your small interaction with him.
Till looks at you, his face burning and his lips curling into a nervous and awkward smile before waving back. Now he finally knows what his feelings for you are now.
He wants to stay still with you
‧₊˚ 🎸 ⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ
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dseerie · 16 hours ago
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My Thoughts On Why Astarion Acts The Way He Does
While I'm waiting for Baldur's Gate 3's cloud status to upload, I've been thinking. I've seen a lot on social media about people questioning why Astarion disapproves when your character wants to save the gnomes (since they are also under an abusive master) or assisting the refugees and how he is always wanting a reward instead of just doing something nice for the sake of it. And I've talked with people who have helped me put this into better words. At least I hope. So I wanted to explain my perspective as someone who was abused when a kid/teen/even early adult.
I fought my abusers whenever I could, figuring if it was going to happen, I'd piss them off, which was satisfying. I liked seeing them hurt when bad things happened to them. I enjoyed making them suffer as I was, even if it wasn't the same as how they abused me. Then when anyone else made me angry, I wanted them to hurt (I never physically fought because I didn't want the pain, but I wished suffering upon them.) If someone started issues with a different authority figure, it annoyed me quite a bit because then I have another problem. And what if my abusers found out I was involved when I wasn't because someone I was with was upsetting the authority figure? It would become just one more issue I had to deal with. Too many details and nuances to keep track of when my mind needed to focus on the first problem. It made sense to stay on the good side of authority figures to keep myself safe and avoid trouble.
For me, something had to be worth doing or my mind just went back to worrying about sh*t, back to the fight or flight survival response. I needed that reward dopamine. Getting praises wasn't doing it for me, since I would forget the good because of the bad. Trauma brain is funny like that. I needed something physical and worthwhile to make me happy.
It's the reason why Astarion is my favorite character that I connected with the most. Not because of his beauty (not that he isn't an elegant elven man. Just that it wasn't what got me to like him. I'd lean more toward Gale or Wyll if it was by appearance for the male companions, though seeing Astarion half-naked with abs was a real shocker. I seriously thought he was a skinny elf 😳), but because he reminds me so much of how I was and how my thought-process worked. How I kept people away by being rude just enough without them wondering if they should say something to my abusers. Because no matter how many times I told people outright I was being abused early on, no one helped, only tattle-told on me.
And I haven't even completed a playthrough yet. I only just got to the Elfsong before starting a Durge playthrough. First playthrough was an asexual Tav to get to know the characters and storyline (I kid you not, I made my Tav a Charlatan rogue then discovered Astarion was also a Charlatan rogue when I was in the forge 😂). As I got to know them a bit more, Astarion intrigued me the most and when Patch 7 came out, I decided to play a Durge Romance. The first Durge both traumatized me up to Act 2 and made me adore and respect Astarion even more. So yeah, I'm romancing him on this Modded Durge Romance playthrough despite Gale having an interest in me, who is the male companion I would connect with if Astarion wasn't a companion (I'm literally just starting the Underdark area and Gale is already at 100 approval while Astarion is at 79 approval. I wish I had a library, I do have a cat, and I love me some white or pink wine 😋).
This is what my perspective of why Astarion acts the way he does. He's not bad, per say. What happened to him for 200 years has made him what he is. Nobody can fix someone else, but they can be guided to help fix themselves. I've been working to fix myself since I got out of the situation. And I want to be the one to guide Astarion toward fixing himself.
If I think of more, I'll see about adding. For now, thank you for reading. I hope you have a great day. 😊
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quackurucho · 2 days ago
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i think its very funny how embarrassingly down bad cquackity was for ccharlie Immediately right off the bat. maybe its just their limited improv/semi-lore screentime that enhances the feeling but like he literally just took him, taught him how to gamble for like 40 minutes and then immediately started saying shit like “you are my best friend you are the greatest friend that i have”. there was NOTHING gradual or reluctant about it he pretty much leaped into his arms without question
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great-tusk · 2 months ago
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Ugh. I had a really bad day.
#chat sesh with iris#vent in the tags#had to get a super personal reminder of someone who I used to know who left me YEARS AGO but it still upsets me to hear her name and I#literally saw HER MOM who proceeded to talk a bunch about what she’s been doing#tw suicide mention#tw suicidal ideation#in the tags lol#so warning that it’s in the next tag#like I think about killing myself whenever I have a passing thought about her so this was too much#I’m not going to do it I’m physically safe 👍👍👍 but like#even despite all of the shitty things that happened I was still having a pretty good week because like. people have been really nice to me.#and I’ve been having a little fun#but this is way too far to excuse like practically no matter what else happened or happens 😭😭😭#like hearing how much better her life is than mine#I literally had to physically leave the situation#like she had finally after YEARS(!!!) gotten mostly off of my mind#but not anymore#the heaviest sigh ever#anyway I would apologize for venting but like this is my blog 👍👍👍#I don’t really have anywhere else to talk about it#like even the people who I consider my best friends did not care or respond or ask questions when I mentioned that I was having like a-#breakdown in public#other than one#shoutouts#and I’m probably going to sleep really soon so maybe I’ll wake up and think this is too personal and delete it#like if I’m only posting because of how tired I was#or who knows maybe my thoughts will keep me awake for hours#I still have nightmares about her#BLUE AND DAWN AND HOP AND ARVEN AND GREEN SAVE ME!!!!!
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butterflieswhisper · 6 months ago
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hhelp wait this is so funny. didnt you follow me forever ago after a scott themed october song analysis . sorry if you dont remember that and this ask doesnt make sense but this is still funny to me
hi!!!! yeah. it was the cherri crane lives art i think and also where you made your flower husbands tag! I have never really interacted with fh outside of you (and like, seeing pretty fanart) but i am nonetheless deeply invested in your interpretation specifically!!! I honestly haven't watched jimmy outside of rats and the beginning of empires2 either i genuinely have no clue what they get up to you just seem to have a lot of fun with it
#asks#<-omg i can make that a tag now#i also am a year behind on the life series. i think the most recent one i've seen is double#like from any pov. i am a year behind. however that goes for everything on youtube#my poor watch later playlist hit the 5000 video limit forever ago and so did the second one i made to replace it. i am on my third#but seriously i don't know what goes on in fh canon but i like their blue/yellow thing they have going on. idk if that's like? intentional?#but like scott blue and canary yellow are really pretty colors together#and they are also SO close to being complimentary colors and yet. they aren't. just a little bit off#they don't quite fit quite how they should. i made that up on the spot i mostly think yellow and blue are nice colors#i think my biggest exposure to scott before you was literally the deal with destiny song in empires1#and i don't even think i acknowledged him as like a real guy ykwim.#like oh yeah. scott smajor. he's like. in that song lizzie made or something. he can sing alright i guess (plays it on loop)(plays it on lo#whisp whispers#seeing u post about Discourse(tm) is always really funny to me because i didn't realize for a while that u did not have like#the 'normal' interpretation? like i didn't realize you had a different view than other people#i was like oh yeah the relationship held in the death games is toxic. that makes sense yeah and is not surprising#and then suddenly there would be a post where you mention discourse and i went. Ohhhhh wait they're supposed to be HAPPY!!!#but i feel like this is infinitely more enjoyable i love Flawed Characters#and especially now after watching his rats. i get it. i get it i get it i see what you are saying#he doesn't interact much with jimmy hes mostly with owen and. i mean#'i've never heard someone apologize so much while putting the blame on the other person'???? i see exactly what you mean#r!scott accidentally hurting r!owen and then apologizing profusely while insisting it's because owen stood in his way. and then immediately#isolating himself in a room for like 20 minutes and refusing to interact with anyone feels like. idk#it reminds me of ur rambles and i understand them more now i think. kind of#to be clear by 'with' i mean like. in proximity of. those rats are AROMANTIC!!!!! (to me)#i'm so sorry these tags are a mess. but alas#i also think it's really funny to follow Flower Husbands guy and know nothing abt them. invested by proxy. whenever i hear abt scott giving#jimmy a flower i get excited not because like i know what's going on but because omg! that's like that thing bree talks about sometimes!!#i hope that like. any of this makes sense shdbfjk
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nobodybetterlookatme · 2 months ago
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Hanging out with the bestie is scream laughing about funny/cringy shit we did when we were in middle school, then immediately after talking about why we feel unlovable lmao
#not snz#the duality of man fr lmaooooo#my stomach literally hurts from laughing so much#and then we goddamn were like 'anyway there's something wrong with me on the romance department'#amazing ahdkakslal#no bc I'm fucking weird like#whenever i like someone it's just kinda for fun#like it's not serious and i don't want it to go anywhere i just like having a little crush i guess#idk how to explain it but it seems nice in my head i just don't wanna fr date them?? but it's nice to imagine???#but the second i find out they like me it's over and done and i don't like them anymore#like no absolutely not it can't be real#i literally have no idea why I'm like this#it's fr just a celebrity crush but with my friends#i don't get it#like yeah i absolutely should like them in theory and want to date them#like i know anyone else in my position would be so happy their crush liked them back#but for me i hate it like it ruins the whole thing bc i don't actuslly wanna date them?????#genuinely no clue what's wrong with me that makes me panic and frantically try to press the backspace button when my crush likes me back#but that's why i don't have a partner LMAO#idk maybe my person feels safe bc it's technically not a real relationship and therefore it's safe#whatever I'm too tired to deal with this but just know there's something so fucking wrong with me#also i know i was literally just talking about this like a day ago but I'm still think about it#like fr what is wrong with me someone tell me what flavor of fucked up i am that I'm like this lmao
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talkfastcal · 6 months ago
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update i talked about the mutuals in therapy again tonight
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fingertipsmp3 · 7 months ago
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Need someone to make a “you wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me” meme but with old school runescape
#GOD it was such a ride#my first ever account got hacked by someone who was doing that ‘runescape censors your password even if you type it backwards’ scam lol#another time i got scammed in a trade#someone pretended they were going to give me this whole set of armour in exchange for some gems i had#then took them back at the last second so i lost my gems#it was just uncut emeralds but i was really upset about it#i hadn’t figured out what to do with them yet so i thought they were valuable#some people there were SUPER nice though#i remember cutting down some trees on a new account; trying to get my woodcutting skill up#and a level 3 person with the default avatar walked up and started cutting down a yew tree. i & everyone else around was shook#someone said like ‘yo are you a bot or an alt or something’ and he said ‘oh i just don’t train combat. i don’t find it interesting’#he had like level 70 in woodcutting and a lot of others but never did combat#i also befriended somebody who was way higher level than me just randomly and we used to talk whenever we were both online lol#i complimented her ‘socks’ (actually boots) and she straight up showed me the dungeon you can go through to get them#which was awesome#and then when the grand exchange opened i lost like a weekend of my life#i was always getting nerfed by random events as well. that was the other thing#i really miss it sometimes. i don’t miss how grindy it was though#i think that was why i liked to train combat. it felt like less of a grind because you could break it up by picking up loot and organising#your loot. i used to always train prayer by burying the bones as well lol#on my best account i had probably level 20 prayer due to this#tl;dr you wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me (2006 runescape)#personal
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eigengrauone · 2 years ago
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grinds teeth. i am alone and dismissed
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yikez · 2 years ago
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me : *constantly talks to him* *asks for advice* *shows him exams from other classes* *tries to get his attention* *tries to get him to compliment me* *vaguely tells him about my issues so he asks about it*
also me : surely he doesn't know i see him as a father figure 😋👍
#btw despite trying all this he doesn reciprocate#i mean kinda#i mean it's complicated#like i told him a guy in my class who is very right wing makes me uncomfortable because of the things he says#and when that guy called somone gay as an insult and called someone the r slur my teacher got realllyyyyy mad#cuz he knows I'm a lesbian and I've hinted at thinking i might be nd#and my friend who sits next to me is actually ND soooo that didn't fly well with my teacher and I'm so happy he said something#and he immediately looked at me after!!!! i was having a really bad day that day and it made it so much better#but like whenever i say something mean about myself#like not in a compliment fishing way but rather as a I'm insecure so it just comes out of my mouth way#he doesn't disagree#and i know as a teacher you generally shouldn't be the one person to therapize your student#but like a little don't say that about yourself would be great#also I'm like the best in his class but I'm a perfectionist because of that and i keep being 1 point away from full points#and like he just makes fun of me for it#i know he means it nicely and that's just his humor and why i like him in the first place#but I've never gotten a good job from him#maybe he's just not a complimenting type?? i wish he would say one single nice thing about me though#he DOES recommend me a bunch of stuff and we talk a lot and that's probably how he shows he cares#so I'm trying to get used to that instead of expecting words of affirmations#teacher crush community#tcc#father figure teachers
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brainrotzora · 2 months ago
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recent ffxiv livetweeting. spoilers through the end of arr patch quests btw.
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#ffxivposting#suicide mention#I GUESS. SORRY#made this account 90% so i could livepost this game better.#moving off my priv twitter to here bc literally only my irl has access and i know he doesnt gaf. i love u bro<3#and im actually going to die going thru this alone to be honest chat. help#just gave my wol a haircut btw :) working on a new fit also hehehe. she's my favorite.#she doesnt have a name because i put a stupid ass placeholder name because i started playing with my Real Life Family. but shes so cutiepie#keep taking screenshots whenever she looks cute in a cutscene which is often. lovely#btw. im aware t.hancred isnt a gayboy. he's a womanizer. which is kind of a gay thing to be. also stuff did happen to him in arr#and he gets pouty about it sometimes which is funny. rip to this guy. but youknow. lol#like if you think about it it's like man that really blows for you huh? but i cant get a good gauge on how much HE thinks about it. hes too#busy w/ his scorned lovers et cetera. as things go.#where im at now is uh. let me check the msq quest list. somewhere around lvl51 msq. chat i miss flying So Bad i am so slow.#by the way i do know the race names. for the record. that guy is a gay ass Elezen(tm).#also im not trying to bully u.rianger(?spelt like that right?) he's nice. his voice IS funny though.#i have not skipped any of this story. even the parts that sucked total ass and shit. my working knowledge is. Okay.#the patch quests were sooooo rough at the start but at least near the end they started ramping up and i got dragged in.#got to yell at npcs bc they were pissing me off so bad near the end there. quite a fun time.#also starting hw story stuff is really funny when youve been playing drg. like hey! i know you!#also ive been saying his name as 'estinen' the whole time wdym it's 'e.stinien'. i hope he never takes off that helmet btw#anyway. i cannot fucking draw my wol. at all. need to get better refpics later i guess.#speaking of. i am not googling any of these guys to draw them because i dont feel like getting spoiled.#yet another L im taking.my stupid baka life. as they say.#you cant hold anything im saying against me here it's almost midnight. fuck i have class tmrw. what ever#ANYWAY. all that to say. i need to talk to someone abt this shit to be honest.#shrug.
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floral-hex · 5 months ago
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Another night I feel like my world is ending, so I went for a drive. Tried to sleep earlier. Nothing doing. Took a couple antianxieties. Surprisingly, not much help. Made me a little sleepy, cried a little, maybe a little more relaxed, but still…. blegh.
So, I’ve got my beeg drink, a podcast going, and I’m sitting in the Kroger parking lot because it’s 4:30+ in the morning and I need to see actual humans walking around. I don’t know how to explain it. Seeing other people continue on with their lives helps calm my doomer anxiety.
This sucks.
#going to give up on sleeping tonight because…#because because because because…#because my brain hates me and whenever I try to sleep now I feel like I’m going to die#I NEED to schedule more appointments#I don’t know why I didn’t. I mean#I mean I do know why I didn’t. it’s because I think I had a couple good days and didn’t want to stress myself#which is stupid. a little stress scheduling today stops me from stressing more later#I need drugs! I need therapy. I might need to see an ENT again bc I’m paranoid about my sinuses#sorry I got annoyed this week seeing posts talking shit about therapy and it just made me feel shitty for needing it#but whatever. whatever works for you. this is rambling#I’m gonna stay up. try to see the sunrise. see more people walking around.#I miss having friends… but damn that was a long time ago#that nice sweet spot right around highschool and right after where we would all hang out all night#just driving around or loitering or watching movies at each other’s places#do you ever really get to have friends like that again?#seems like you’d have to make a bunch of friends in school and then hold onto them as hard as you can#or maybe I just need to be more social. but that’s rough. how’s a 35 year old introvert loser supposed to be social in a normal way?#also…#I just want to be held#that’s all I wanted earlier. to be held for awhile. to have someone comfort me physically.#just hang out with me. sit on your phone next to me. let me know I’m not doing this alone.#be a bro! jeez!#okay it’s almost 5. guess I should get back to driving#whatever. this sucks. I’m so anxious.#you can ignore this#text
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kurooh · 5 months ago
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I LOVE UR WORKK
ANYWAYS MY REQUEST IS
how mha guys are in bed when they're mad or jealous 😋 (please include shinso im begging 🙏)
-💕
JEALOUS, JEALOUS, JEALOUS BOY!
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☆ includes: midoriya izuku, bakugō katsuki, todoroki shōto, kirishima eijirou, shinsou hitoshi, takami keigo.
☆ warnings: 18+ content, fem! reader, rough sex, mild degradation.
☆ notes: TY FOR THIS REQUEST NONNIE <33 jealousy is such a turn on!!
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— IZUKU gets particularly energetic whenever he sees someone getting a little close to you or being flirty. he nicely pulls you away from the person and glares at them, but then he’s all jittery with pent up irritation and energy. he uses your pussy as an outlet, as soon as possible.
“feels so tight,” izuku whines into your neck as he ruts his hips against you, his cock head pounding into your gspot fervently. “i-i’m gonna fill you up—ugh, fuck!—and you’re gonna walk around and keep it inside you.” you bite your lip hard, head falling back against the wall of his agency’s staff room. you’re standing on one leg, pressed against the wall, one leg hiked up and being held by izuku. “i promise i will, zuku, just cum inside me, please!” the door is halfway open and his hand clamps over your mouth in an attempt to keep you quiet so you’re not discovered in such a compromising position. sweat runs down his forehead, and he grips you harder, determined to send you to your meeting late and dripping with his cum.
— KATSUKI is explosive, of course. the moment he sees someone getting friendly with you, he’s quick to snap at them and kiss you hard, then fuck you later. he asks for sexual affirmations while he’s railing you so hard you can barely breathe.
“you like it when i bend you over like this, huh baby?” a hard spank to your ass makes you whine loudly, your pussy clenching on katsuki’s thick cock. “i love it, katsuki!” your head hangs down weakly, and you look between your legs to watch yourself get fucked. a mixture of your slick, his spit, and his cum from early drip down from your hole, and his balls smack against your clit while his cock pistons in and out of you mercilessly. “how’s it feel, takin’ my cock like this?” dazed from the pleasure, you don’t answer as quickly as he expects you to, and his hips stop instantly. “no!” you exclaim desperately, starting to babble thoughtlessly. “it feels better than anything, katsuki.. please don’t stop fucking me, i need you so bad.” “go ahead and beg some more for me,” he laughs a little, his balls clenching at your words.
— SHŌTO is a little passive, talking neutrally to the person who’s getting too close. the second you’re both out of sight of others, he kisses you hard and makes out with you. while fingering and teasing you, he sucks dark hickeys into your skin.
“sho, don’t think about that disrespectful asshole, i—” strong arms pull you close, right into his chest, and sweet lips shut you up before you can say any more. letting yourself savor his touch, your eyes close, and shōto’s tongue slips between your lips with practiced ease; his kisses are controlled yet wanting. you whine shakily when his hand slips into your pants and into your underwear, his fingers brushing at your already sticky slit. shōto transitions, his lips moving to your neck eagerly, and he begins to suck at the supple skin. “oh, that feels good,” you whisper when two of his fingers press inside of you, another massaging your clit. “i wish i was inside of you.” he bites down on your skin particularly hard and you squirm. “later,” you say, palming his cock through his pants and pressing closer to him. “for now, mark me up.”
— EIJIROU is friendly when he pulls you close, kissing you in front of the person who’s making him fight a war internally with jealousy. but he’s actually angry, wondering how they hadn’t seen you together before they started getting flirty with you. so, he makes you suck his cock to help him get over it.
“can i suck it, ei?” you feel yourself salivating at the sight of him gripping his hard cock through his pants, the outline sending heat through every inch of your body. “hmm, okay,” he shrugs, slowly sliding his pants and boxers down his thighs. his tip is messy with precum, and despite his nonchalance he’s desperate for your mouth. wanting to tease him, you wrap your lips around him and very slowly take his length into your mouth. but eijirou’s hand pressed against the back of your head gently before he slams you all the way down. immediately, tears well in your eyes and you choke, your throat tightening. his crimson eyes roll right into the back of his head, and he twists his fingers in your hair, yanking you up and down on his cock. “let me use your pretty mouth, baby. this is what it’s for, isn’t it?” he groans when you tearfully look up at him, nodding. “fuck, take it deeper.”
— hitoshi is clearly unhappy when you return to him after purposely engaging with someone flirty, in hopes of him seeing you. he becomes uncharacteristically rough with you when you’re in bed together, and reminds you not to act like that again (but now you want to even more cause you love the way he treats you).
“i bet you talked with him like that on purpose, just so i could fuck you like a slut.” he spits, his hips pounding into yours, pace quickening by the second. one of hitoshi’s large hands slowly wraps around your throat, and he squeezes lightly, then harder when your eyes roll back. “i-i did, toshi! don’t stop, please!” he groans, his head tipping back, and his free hand pushes your knees into your chest harder. you’re folded into a mating press and tears well in your eyes, the pleasure overwhelming. you gasp, “i’m so close! hitoshi, you’re gonna make me—” and his free hand slips between your pelvis and his, and his fingers start to rub at your swollen clit. you grab his hand that’s resting on your throat and look at him with such desperation that he squeezes your throat hard, drawing gasping moans from your lips. hitoshi’s cock throbs when your pussy tightens, and his fingers fall away from your clit, and he slaps it instead. “no, you don’t get to cum until i do.”
— KEIGO swoops in, says “she’s mine, dude” and literally picks you up and flies off. overall, he’s pretty laid back and doesn’t get jealous, but when he does, he fucks you in hearing/seeing distance of the guy. for example, on a rooftop, in a nearby alley, etc.
“fuck you, dabi!” keigo shouts from the rooftop overlooking the man, his wings spread out and buffeting strongly. then he wraps an arm around your waist, pulls you against him and into a kiss. “kei,” you murmur against his lips, “i’m already ready, jus’ want you inside.” he almost cums right then and there, and before you know it, he’s yanking his clothes off and tugging down your shorts. your panties are pushed to the side hastily, and he’s quick to push inside you, but even faster to start fucking you. “be loud for me, baby,” keigo bends you right over, so you’re looking out at the city’s skyline and over all the roads. you’re shaking already as you mewl in pleasure, arms trembling as you try to hold yourself up. “keigo!” you moan, wanting to scream at how deep he’s fucking you. “good girl,” he whispers, “let the whole city know i’m making you feel this good.”
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d1anna · 1 year ago
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I WANT 2 DIE
#dianna.moon#i had this meeting for this org i’m trying to join#and they put down the wrong room number in the same building#so i asked the people at the front desk and they told me to go to this room that they thought was it#and so i went to there and i saw all these people in there talking (mostly men)#and one of the club members came up to me and asked me if i was in physics#and i was like no ? :) i’m a government major tehe#and he was like really??!?! we always (the club) gets excited whenever non-physics members joins#And i was like ? what really#people at the meeting g kept telling me things about physics and i was slowly realizing i was in the wrong room#someone asked me what brought me to their club as a non-physics major#and i literally lied and i was like i think physics is interesting even though i’m bad at science ☺️#and this girl asked me too what brought me to their club and i was like#no no she asked me if i came for a friend and i was nervous since she complimented me and said i was pretty#so i just said yes 😀#i asked someone to help me find the room#i was meant to be in and at least they were nice to me and helped me find it#at least i got to the right room i guess#but no a person came up to me and asked if i was in the right place and said the organization room and it wasn’t remotely similar to the#name of the org i was trying to join but i was so anxious and overstimulated because there was so many people talking#so i just well yes 😊#CURSE MY SOCIAL ANXIETY!!!!!!! AND CURSE THE ORG THAT PUT DOWN THE WRONG ROOM NUMBER!!!!!#LITERALLY NO ONE KNEW WHERE THE ORIGINAL ROOM NUMBER WAS!!!! BECAUSE IT DOESNT EXIST#i think they thought i was there for a bit but i really was there for my social anxiety#i will think about this for the next four nights
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