#whenever shes zoning out she starts flashing back to that

[musubiki]

i want lime to tell mochi shes pretty 🥺

I DO TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

what im realizing about lime more and more (and especially in contrast to taffy) is how uhhh not vocal he is about how he feels when it comes to romantic emotions (which i know isnt a big surprise but ive been meditating on it A LOT recently, and actually working it into his character a lot more. i am increasing the romantic muzzle on him)

so SAME I WANT HIM TO SO BAD!!!!!!!!!! and it would take SO MUCH for him to work up enough guts to say it to her (even if its a short 2 second sentence or something)

but what sucks is that mochi will still think hes just saying it to be nice or to make her feel better, so shed smile and say like "haha thanks" to move the conversation away from it, but he could TELL RIGHT AWAY that she doesnt believe him and essentially dismissed it and it PISSES HIM OFF SO BAD!!!!! HES LIKE "I was struggling for THREE DAYS to figure out how to tell her or if I should tell her and I get a shitty 'haha thanks'??? Shes just brushing it off???!!"

which would actually probably lead to a really cute moment because the irritation would fuel him enough to grab her arm and DRILL IT INTO HER HEAD that hes not kidding or saying it to be nice or something. think full on, youre-the-most-beautiful-thing-ive-ever-seen-in-my-life-any-guy-would-chop-off-his-own-arm-just-to-speak-to-you-for-five-seconds-youre-so-drop-dead-gorgeous kind of rambling, the whole time her face is like. slowly increase the saturation slider to red.

and it starts getting into DANGEROUS territory for him because hes not necessarily filtering anything hes saying and it starts to sound a little less like "You are an objectively pretty girl" speech, and sounds more like a "I am attracted to you" kind of speech

[dcxdpdabbles]

DCxDP fanfic idea: In 30 minutes or less!

Danny is a delivery man.

He got the job after realizing his resume was severely lacking in terms of working experience.

Also when he needed more money for his own purchases. There is a big difference between begging his parents for an allowance and earning his own spending funds.

The thing is, no matter where Danny applied, he was not getting a call back. Jazz warned him that a majority of Amity Park didn't hire them - as she also attempted to get a part-time job when she was his age - because of the Fenton last name.

She swore and hissed, but she couldn't prove that it was the reason they weren't hired. She just heard the talk around the town. They all said they wouldn't want to hire from the lunatic family.

That whenever a Fenton went , something bad quickly followed.

It stung, that not even Nasty Burger wanted him. That placed hired people under sixteen for Pete's sake. But Danny was resourceful. If Amity Park hadn't hired him, then he would just try the other place he had civilianship in.

The Infinite Realms.

Danny figured that if societies existed with the Realms, then they had to have a form of currency. He just needed to find one that used the same one as his world did.

FrostBite was more than happy to point him in the right direction. Since his people were the ones to spend generations attempting to map out the Realms, he had found a part of the ghost zone that Danny could blend into easily.

It was only a thirty minute commute from Danny's family portal. He could easily make that after school.

Thus, Danny flew to the portal location FrostBite told him about and ended up in a place called Central City. He found employment very quickly at Joel's Pizza, and for sixteen dollars a hour he was racing across the city to give some sizzling pizza pies.

. He was given a company scooter, but Danny preferred to fly. No one saw him as he never turned off his invisibly until he arrived at the destination. He got great tips for his speed, and his boss was fun to work for.

His parents are proud that he has a job and is not causing trouble. His friends also have their own jobs so Sam and Tucker have to plan their meet ups now- buts that's just a part of growing up.

The only thing that made his part-time difficult was the ghosts. Not all of them bothered him now a days but a few still did.

Like Young Blood. The brat didn't seem to care that Danny was going to be late to a shift since he had no concept of the importance of adult responsibilities. He was able to text his boss an apology using school as an excuse, but he was still thirty minutes late and sporting a black eye.

Joel stared at him for a long moment, muttered something in Spanish, before handing him five pizza boxes, and told him to take it to the central city police department. Danny was supirse he didn't even lecture him.

When he got to the station, the person in front told him to wait a moment since it was the forensic department that ordered food. He waited a few minutes until a blond man came down the hall, with a cheerful smile.

That smile fell when Danny turned to look at him. There was a brief flash of something dark that crossed his expression before the smile was back ten fold

"Hello," Danny said, standing up. "Order for Barry?

"That's me!" The man grins, holding out a wad of cash "Keep the change."

Wow. A fifty dollar tip!

"Sure thanks!"

"Welcome kid!"

Danny practically skipped away, Barry Watching him climb onto his scooter and slowly blending back into the traffic.

He turned to look at Officer Dawn "Is it just me or was that kid covered in bruises?"

Officer Dawn's mustache twitches with displeasure. "He definitely was. Looked fresh, too. Not only that but he works for Joel Pizza"

"This Joel a trouble maker?"

"The opposite, he was a foster kid. Once he aged out and got his own business, he started hiring teenagers in similar situations. Usually, his staff are all kids who are having a rough time. If things are too bad, he makes reports, but we try to avoid it. Don't want to lose one of the few trustworthy safe spaces for those kids." Officer Dawn's hesitates for a second before he carefully asks."A cop poking around may spook them, but a forensic chemist won't. Do you mind finding out what the delivery kid's deal is for me?"

"I look into it." Barry promises already knowing the Flash is also going to be following the boy just to make sure he safe.

He hates it when kids get hurt. Remind him too much of Wally.

[kkrymiii]

"Business is business"

G!p FWB! Chaewon x Fem reader

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝

MDNI! (Not proofread)

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝

CW: smut, Your drunk, fubu, degrading, g!p, Swears, jealousy, hooking up, SLIGHT angst, clubbing, Jake from enhypen

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝

Lights flashing on your face, Music blasting around the place, people dancing and talking all around, people getting drunk.... But everything you could focus on was the handsome guy that was ontop of you right now...

Seriously... Who would've thought your friends plan on making you find someone to hook up with in the club actually worked, now you have a rich handsome guy ontop of you.

This all started because your friends haved noticed you not being interested with anyone ever since you guys have started college, a lot of guys always had interests in you... Even girls, but you really didn't think much about it, you appreciated it but rejected all of it. Your excuse was because you were focusing on your studies and taking over your fathers business in the future.

But seriously... A hot and smart rich girl not wanting to date anyone? Your friends couldn't believe it, so they persuaded you to go to the club with them. You really didn't want to come because you hated the ideas of those things it gave you feelings that you were doing something wrong whenever you think about those things...

Let's just say you were a good girl.

But you also didn't want to ruin the fun, you were always a risky person but not that risky to make stupid decisions that had a big chance of something bad happening, but you were also worried for your friends so you decided to come but you promised to stay sober just to take care of your friends and look out for them and drive them home...

But of course it never was a good ending is it?... You ended up getting drunk and meeting a handsome man, personality exactly what you liked... And let's just say things happend between you two that night, and as you guys came out of the room that he reserved just for that night, your friends immediately huddled up you asking what happend, it was awkward but you explained it in the most innocent way you could. Jake was just watching you grinning as he fixed his tie watching you embarrassed...

"see you later pretty... Text me later I'll drive you home." Jake whispered to your ear as he leaned closer to you brushing his hands on your arm making you shiver and feel goosebumps as he left heading back to his friends.

You just looked back at him seeing him walk off. You just contuined talking with your friends talking about Jake, you guys definitely lost track of time but c'mon let the people have fun am I right?... As you were zoning out staring at the lights suddenly your friends kept on calling out your name.

"y/n yah?! Your phone is ringing." Your friend said nudging you, I come back to reality noticing my phone on my lap as I took it and checked who was calling.

"chaeeeeeee<3" the contact name, it was chaewon?... Your friend, you didn't pick up the call but declined it, but you just went to your messages with chaewon texting her "what? What is it chae?" You messaged declining the call.

"where are you." She replied back feeling abit nervous she didn't text like this usually...

"uh why?" I replied back still kinda suspicious.

"I saw your friends posts on Instagram. Where are you? Answer the call" she replied as you felt your heart beating fast now "it's noisy here let's just message.. I'm in the club isn't it obvious?" I messaged back eagerly waiting for her reply.

"who's that guy? Is that club the one close to the campus?" She replied back as you saw that message you already know where this conversation was going. "The guy? Uh we just got to know each other that's it and yeah it's the club close to the campus"

"I'm picking you up." Chaewon replied as you could already feel her anger through the screen. "Okay, please just don't start a fight" you just replied accepting your fate knowing what can happen if you argue with her. Chaewon didn't respond as she left you on read.

As your friends ask who it was you just lied and told them it was your parents asking you to go home asap, they were bummed out knowing this but they knew you they couldn't force you anymore since it was your parents.y You were picking up your things and said your goodbyes to your friends telling them to go home safe and let someone drive who was not that drunk. You left the club waiting outside for chaewon as you were leaning on the car of your friend, it was the car that you guys took to get here and it was also the car they were using to get home. You decided to stay there to not be seen and just in case something happens, you were just scrolling on your phone posting on your Instagram.

"hm? Pretty what are you doing here?" Someone said as you jumped out Abit as it startled you as you looked up from your phone and immediately sighed in relief to see it was Jake. "Ah... I'm going home now my parents told me" I replied awkwardly as I scratched my neck "mhm? Didn't I tell you that I'd drive you home? Cmon you might get in danger" Jake replied with his cute charming puppy smile which melted you but you immediately reassured him that someone was picking you up "ah I'm actually getting picked up no worries".

"cmon? You really want to turn down an offer like this? What if we get to know each other more?" Jake said getting closer to you, both of his hands holding yours.. "ah don't worry I'm serious" you replied gulping. "Don't worry too I promise I'll please you." Jake said leaning in to your face.. oh you knew what was happening, As you accepted it closing your eyes suddenly you felt someone pull you from your arms pulling you behind harshly.

"what the fuck-" you mutterd leaning on someone as it hugged you from behind. And you quickly noticed it was chaewon. "What?! Who are you" Jake said his eyes furious. "Ain't I supposed to be the one asking that?" Chaewon replied hugging you tighter "let go of her" Jake said getting closer "I'm just taking what's mine? What's with you? Who even are you" chaewon said taking a few steps back Abit.

"what?! Y/N doesn't have a partner she told me." Jake said as you just sighed awkwardly as you nudged chaewon making her stop hugging you as you fixed yourself.. "alright this is getting out of hand. Jake i- it's complicated okay? I'll text you later, this girl over here is the one taking me home don't mind her" you said trying to calm down the situation. You felt eyes piercing at you, chaewon definitely didn't like what you just said right now.

"ah... Alright sorry... Take care and goodnight, text me okay??" Jake said sighing his puppy face showing again as he frowns. Chaewon just scoffed as she heard Jakes words, immediately pulling Y/N's arm leading her back to the car not letting you respond back to Jake.

"seriously... Why do you need to be so harsh all the time?" You said clear frustration in your voice as you wack your arm making chaewon let go of you as you get in the passenger seat slamming the door. Chaewon who showed an annoyed face as she goes around the car going in the driver seat and starting the car.

The drive was awkward and quiet, you were just on your phone showing a frown as you were clearly pissed, And chaewons hand that was on Y/N's thigh massaging it the whole time...

After a few more minutes of driving you guys finally arrived, it was chaewons house, she drove you there...

"we have unfinished work we have to settle" she mumbled as she grabbed her keys and got out of the car walking to the other side of the car and opening the door for you. "Don't keep me waiting princess" chaewon said reaching her hand out to you while grinning. "You can be such an asshole." You rolled your eyes as you took her hand.

She leaded into the house, coming in and eventually locking the door.... And all you know now that is your pinned to the couch fully undressed.. "ah.. fuck... Why? Why Y/N tell me? Did you get bored of me?" She whispered as she stared at the hickeys Jake left on your neck...

"ahhh- fu- fuck! Chaewon please!" You moaned out as she puts in three fingers drilling faster and harder making you go crazy as she grinned seeing your reactions, your hands then makes its way on chaewons pants, she felt your hands trying to unzip her zipper making her shocked but she scoffed feeling your hands struggle to get the zipper because she was Fucking you hard with her fingers. "Ah-ah.. baby... So needy? Don't worry come for me first and I'll give you my cock." Chaewon whispered to Y/N's ear making her whimper feeling her hot breath.

"tell me... Why did you hook up with him?" Chaewon said as she bit your neck hard placing hickeys as her jealousy reached to the max, you just responded with small whimpers as you held in your moans... And as time passes she just contuined biting, licking and sucking your neck covering everything Jake has done to you, her hands tracing your curves and playing with your breasts making you moan out loud as you held onto her shoulders.

She then started biting on your collarbone as her hands found it's way to your clit teasing it... She then sucked on your breasts while looking up at you enjoying your expressions and sounds... You were just so beautiful.

Eventually she finally decided to stop teasing and drilled her fingers in your pussy two fingers in, she was kissing you all around your face enjoying your face and moaning. You were arching your back due to the sensations making you two touch bodies, you felt chaewons cock beneath her pants... You just wanted to feel it now.

She was still Fucking you hard seeking your climax so she could feel your pussy around her cock immediately, biting your neck as her fingers were Fucking you made you see stars you were a moaning mess, you liked seeing her like this.

"chaee!! Fuck I'm cumming! Ahh- please!" You moaned out holding onto her shoulders as you felt your climax. "Do it. Faster baby I want to feel you" she whispered roughly Fucking you moving her whole body now eager to let you come. You moaned out loud as you came on her hands, hips going crazy as you came.. "ah fuck so good.." chaewon said looking at your disheveled state as she quickly took the chance when you were catching your breath she placed her hand in your mouth making you taste yourself, you quickly catched on even tho you were so tired you still sucked her hand like a good girl, she was smirking seeing you be so obedient. Her other hand starting to unzip her pants only left in her boxers her cock showing its shape now.

"be good okay?" She said breathlessly as she pulled down her boxers showing her cute BIG cock cum already leaking out at the tip, she didn't waste time and immediately put in her cock in your pussy eager to feel you. "Ahh! Fuck your so big chaewon.. I-.." you moaned out as her cock felt so perfect in your pussy every thrust made you go crazy it was like your pussy was made for her... "Baby.. want me to come in you? Hehe Cmon..." She said as she grabbed you by the hips Fucking you in missionary position, her cock just drilled into you for the whole time as your eyes roll back to your head letting her do anything to you as she pleased, it just felt too good you were a moaning mess as she just looked at you Fucking you mesmerized by your beautiful face even tho your in this state.

"I'm coming!! Baby please- ah..mhm!" You said as you were gripping on the couch as she fucked you harder seeking her climax too... "filling you up please please..ah please" she whimpered... How can a girl be this cute while having a huge cock and while Fucking you this hard?????

Few more thrusts you finally came you moaned as your body felt so weak, gripping onto the couch as you moaned out more back arching as you felt strings of rope of her come coming in you mixing with yours... She eventually slowed down riding your climax together as she layed on top of you tiredly, her cock still in you cock warming her, as you felt the come dripping out.

"so good... Mhm your only mine? Okay?." Chaewon said against your neck making you moan as her breath felt so good against your skin right now, seeing your reaction she peppered your neck with kisses making you feel good...her hands holding onto yours having your lovey dovey moment.

....

....

"your so good at this stuff... But you don't need to be so harsh with other people I know... We're just fwb anyways." You sighed out as you felt so weak, but as soon as chaewon heard that her heart just ached... but she didn't want to fight considered your state so she just ignored it and bit your neck hugging you tighter feeling frustrated with you......

- there's def mistakes I'm soryyxsyxys huhu idk bruh but thank you for reading!

[thenewgirl76]

I'll Make You Believe

While the whole "asking a ghost how they died is the worst taboo ever, so don't do it or you'll be in a world of hurt" headcanon is always fun to implement to either create temporary conflict or simply move the story along, I think it'd work just as well on both ends if it was only a minor offense.

Like if you were to ask a once living ecto being how they died the most negative response you'd get would either be some variation of "None of your business puny mortal" or an explanation using the most vividly graphic, stomach turning details as an act of petty revenge as well as insurance you never ask again.

So what could possibly be a way more serious, far more dangerous no-no when it comes to ghosts instead? Well, how about stating ghosts don't exist/there's no such things as ghosts? The reason why being you're invalidating the trauma they've experienced in their last moments.

Makes no difference whether you were aware of this or not. If they find out or worse, it's said to their face? You better hope they'll settle for beating you black-and-blue. Because the alternative is becoming a ghost yourself by the time they're done with you.

Now in dpxyj fics when Danny interacts with Wally and the whole "ghost are/aren't real" argument between them comes into play it's usually depicted as a trivial disagreement. But what if you were to make it more angsty by inserting this take on lack of ghostly etiquette?

Let's say after getting to know his teammates better Danny starts talking about his origins (in vague detail) and exploits, only to eventually be interrupted by Kid Flash declaring that he can't possibly be a ghost as they don't exist. And Robin, Aqualad, Miss Martian, and Superboy all become quite alarmed watching Danny go from easygoing to looking ready to beat Kid Flash to a pulp, as he's now fighting back his ghostly nature. To avoid giving in to the urge he abruptly leaves with a dismissive attitude, much to KF's confusion.

From there it spirals. KF, not realizing he's poking a hornets nest continuing to voice his skepticism whenever the opportunity comes up and each time Danny barely manages to keep it together. Until one day Danny in an explosive rage snatches up KF and in a tone colder than ice tells him he knows what he is, what he went through to reach that state, and that he has no need to justify any of it to him.

Then he leaves once more before he really loses it. Before going after him Miss Martian informs KF of how Danny opened his mind to her and that for his sake she hopes he never shares those memories of what he went through with him. Feeling bad now, KF tries to apologize once Danny returns. Which results in failure again and again since Danny keeps giving him the cold shoulder.

After having yet another apology disregarded KF, in mounting frustration blurts out that he wishes he understood what has Danny so convinced he's a ghost, unaware a certain wish twisting genie he was warned about had been invisibly lurking in the vicinity the instant Danny was elsewhere. Along with the rest of the regulars, as soon as KF's denials had spread to the Ghost Zone Desiree was on the warpath, intent on showing just how real ghosts truly were. By sheer spite and determination she beat everyone else to him, just in time to hear him say the forbidden word, presenting her with the perfect means of retribution.

With a "So you have wished it so shall it be" KF is magically transported to an underwater submarine, occupied by Black Manta. Unable to run as freely without potentially damaging the sub and causing it to flood, the fight upon his unexpected arrival is drawn out to the point KF starts to feel his hyper metabolism weakening him. It's when he's close to dying of starvation that one of the more incompetent goons sends him crashing into the stash of ectoplasm Manta had smuggled with the intent of using it to pollute the waters of Aquaman's Kingdom. The last thing KF sees before blacking out is Desiree looming over him with a smirk of satisfaction.

[peachedtv]

Re-Fucking-Venge

﹂ Yandere!Dabi x Nurse!Reader ‘Come dance with me in hell, won’t you, Father?’ And boy did Dabi fucking mean it. Poor little you to have been his next ledge to mindfuck his father to shards. 

﹂Genre: angst, toxic relationship, slow burn, 18+

﹂ Warnings: AFAB, female pronouns, Kidnapping, non-sexual hair pulling, paralysis, angst, drugging, profanity, descriptions of panic attacks, violence, slight horror, insults, broken family dynamic (both Dabi [duh] and reader's),

﹂ WC: 6.67k

﹂ From Redact: this will be continued! My motivation sucks so I'll try to promise a regular schedule.. I first posted this story at 2k words, then kept editing back to get it up to 6.67k, so I'm reposting it to let the people see the final copy incase yk. If you wanna be on a taglist tell me !!! I'd love to have one

Honestly, everything's turned into a fucking mess.

After the absolute devastation of Dabi’s theatrical exposing of Endeavour, your workplace was swarmed by furious citizens and questioning paparazzi. They were angry. So fucking angry. Angry for the fact that Endeavour had such cruel impositions on his children, angry that his actions caused the root of such a murderous villain, and angry at the fall of heroes being ironically unheroic. Day or night, their anger wouldn’t stop. The continuous flashing lights of cameras, the synchronized yelling, and the fists that shook in the air. With the mantra of harassment towards your hospital, one would think you’re caring for number one himself—the one Dabi framed as the center point for his villainous roots, the one who did most of the hurting. But, no. You weren’t caring for Endeavour. You were the main nurse for his wife, Rei. And that's what truly ticked your soul.

It absolutely baffled you. Why were such a mantra of citizens harassing a regular person? Can’t they properly think that if Dabi’s speech pointed at Endeavour, it’s mainly Endeavour’s doing? Article after article, you started to understand that many hard-luck Endeavour fans were convinced that the abuse Dabi had forsaken was all Rei’s fault.

‘She’s manipulative.’

‘What a fucking gold digger.’

‘No wonder Endeavour had to take out his anger on his children.’

Yet who was the one in psychiatric care? Are these people truly blind to the obvious victim here? It made your blood boil.

You kept Rei under your loving care for years. As someone who had their own fucked up family situation, you felt for her since her admission oh so many years ago. You knew who she truly was, and so, it made you enraged that these strangers yelled at her as though they’d known her all their ignorant lives. As if they had the entire situation figured out when even Endeavour had his own twisted narration of what happened. People believe what they want to believe, and you began to understand that. People protect what and who they wish to protect. It did not matter how morphed and wicked the twists on their perceptions may be—as long as they can justify themselves. As long as they can justify the wrong.

And so, here, Rei was not the object of the crowd’s protection. She was the embodiment of their malformed justifications. The receiver of their hatred, the one to hear the garbage and clunk of cans thrown against her window.

It’s during a time like this that you’re truly brought back. Brought back to the Rei who first arrived. The Rei who was constantly in a fight or flight response. For the first few weeks of her stay, she wore a horrid expression of absolute dread. Her eyes truly had no spark, and her body felt empty of any soul. She always looked down, her chin tucked near her chest as she zoned out into a singular corner of her room. Many of the doctors and nurses complained to the head, saying she was too much for our hospital to handle. Whenever someone merely grazed her arm while cleaning her room, she would scream out in horror—thrashing about as tears threatened to spill from her eyes. Thus, when nurse after nurse had quit being her caretaker, finally you came up to the chopping block, and you had heard a lot about her. Of course, none of which was positive.

‘She’s fucking insane.’

‘That woman makes me want to quit.’

‘Thank god I got switched out.’

‘Goodluck, Y/N, you’ll need it.’

When you first saw her, the barrier you had about yourself slipped. No, you didn’t see a manic woman, nor did you see some form of a psycho. What you saw, mesmerized you. You were entranced. She was truly beautiful. Her white hair gently framed her face, while the sunlight in her room had a cold, blue hue, that you didn’t feel was present anywhere else in the hospital. She had the aura of an apathetic beauty, a flower that was plucked - for even wilting roses had their charm. Her eyes, though, those wonderful eyes. You could tell her deep irises once held the spark of happiness, the spark of hope and care. Yet now, her eyelids hung low, dark circles beneath her lids dragging her visage lower, and her posture as an enervated slouch. It was in that moment when you first laid eyes on her did you truly see who was deep inside the shell of her abused being. She brought you back, brought you back to who you easily could have become—shown you who you would’ve been had you not fought tooth and nail against your resolves. And so, determination flared inside of you. You will help her. You will bring back her spark. No one should fight so alone against something a crowd can’t handle. Thus, even if you’re the only one by her side, you will still be there.

It had taken a couple of months for you to barely disarm her violently defensive walls, but you managed. You always knocked on her door before entering, peering through before stepping into the room. You set up a small stool by her bedside, and every time you came to her you would sit down before getting to your medicinal caretaking. You’d smile, greet her warmly, and tell her silly stories about your day. Tales of the warm old man across the hall, of those pesky UA kids that couldn’t help but fight a little too hard for others. You would go into detail after detail, eyes dancing across the empty walls as you lightly laughed at the memories or clicked your tongue at some of the peskier ones. Although she never responded, you made sure to speak to her every single time.

Furthermore, you were careful, you truly wanted the best for your patients, and she is no different. You were careful when you delicately held the flowers’ stems as you poured in fresh water. You were careful when you gently told her everything you would care for before doing it. ‘I’ll be checking your heart rate, is that okay?’ You’d smile, not even grazing her arm before a sign of confirmation. And it was these careful things you did for Rei that truly made her love you too. Soon, she began to speak. Her voice was delicate and raspy, as she hadn’t used her vocals in such a long time. But still, you smiled at her. Tears welling in the corners of your eyes as you listened to her very first request for a glass of water. Progress is progress. And you were determined to continue it.

From her vaguely written patient file, you had an idea that her husband was the main factor in her descent into your care. But, you were horrified once Rei trusted you enough to spill her heart's deepest sorrows—all caused by her husband. She cried, and oh how her tears fell so quietly it shattered a piece of you that you didn’t know was there. After she began giving you one-worded answers, to replying in whole sentences, her walls soon came down and a woman desperate for help and comfort revealed herself. It broke your heart remembering the number of overtime shifts you’ve spent merely hugging her while she gripped your scrubs. Her arms desperately clinging to you for any minuscule support, her body trembling in the fear that you’ll give up and leave her just as the other nurses did. Those silent tears fell, her muffled cries making you wish you could take away her pain if only for a minute. Every night, that was the scene between you two. And every night, flashbacks of her husband’s cruel words yelled at her from the silence only she could hear. Not only as a nurse, but as a human being, you truly cared. And Rei could feel that sincerity, thus, you two grew close.

Even after Rei exponentially improved, you still tried your best to give her some kind of comfort she could cling to in the emptiness of the hospital’s blank walls. You were so proud of her. She came so, so far in her healing process. And your soul smiled at the thought of her gentle nod whenever you entered her room—she had the misfortune of a hundred lives, and didn’t deserve a single crumb more of difficulties.

So why did fate have the tv running that day?

You ran to her room, the blaring of her EKG racing your mind with worry. It had been long, too long, since her heart raced so. You had gotten used to her health, to her improved state, so how the hell did this happen? When you burst through the door, Rei was slumped on the ground with her hand clawing into her chest as she hyperventilated, her eyes wildly ajarred as her gaze stuck to the screen with tears swelling the corner of her ducts as her lips fell apart in these broken attempts of communication.

'-was born as the eldest son of Endeavour.'

‘Rei! Breathe, breathe, I’m right here for you. Please, what happened?’ You held her comfortingly, rubbing your palm in circular motions upon her back. God, how did this happen? Sorrow wretched your soul when she began to cry harder, frantically looking from the floor before her and the screen upon the tv. She shoved you away with as much force her could muster, you stumbled slightly back, in absolute shock. It had been a while since Rei had a any miniuscle of violence in her outbursts—let alone having an outburst in the first place, and it broke your heart to wonder why it was happening. You could tell her conciousness was slipping from the rapid breaths she choked to take, how her movements became more sluggish. She began to scream, her hands tangling into the hair on the side of her head as she knelt with her face to her knees. You reached into a nearby cabinet, taking a deep breath as you thrashed around the contents until your fingers wrapped about a minor sedative. It pained you, you haven’t had to go to such measures in so long. Your hand firmly on her shoulder, you told her everything was going to be alright before injecting the sedative and keeping your comforting words. 

'I was created for my father's selfish dream.'

‘It’s okay, I’m right here. Don’t worry about a thing, Rei.’ You spoke gently, and her eyelids began weighing down to shut, before she looked deep into your eyes and whispered: ‘T-tell him I’m sorry.’ Your eyes followed her as she tried to look towards the tv. Upon the screen, a man was sitting upon a vintage couch. Throughout his body, horrid patches of purple plastered his skin, barely holding onto his stature with the use of staples, you could see the dip in his surviving skin and the bruised purple from the awful staple job on his body. It looked so painful your skin tingled in discomfort. With such a blatantly iconic look, how could you not recognize the man himself? Dabi. His hair was a messy black, his chin picked up toward the camera, and a darkened gaze of determination and resentment filled his eyes—a stare that would pierce the soul of any viewer.

'-my father would force my mother to give birth to more off-spring.'

How long had his voice been playing in the background? You stared, stared at the TV. You listened, listened to Dabi apathetically recall every horrifying detail Endeavour put his pitiful children through. The same details that had you shaken to insomnia at night when you first heard it through Rei's exasperated cries during her mental break downs. It was awful, Endeavour's actions were horrid. The neglect, the abuse, his cold demeanour, hearing both Rei and now Dabi recount those awful memories made you realize just how cold the air about you became as well - a sudden contrast as though your physical environment darkened from the heavy words Dabi spoke out about. You felt their pain, but you know you could never truly understand it. Not until you had gone through something the exact same, and even then, everyone processes trauma differently. Thus, empathy is such a golden key. The very key that had your shocked visage brim with tears. There wasn't a hint of pain in Dabi's voice, not yet, at least. Yet, you knew that years before, and deep inside his battered body, Touya was will trapped. Crying, begging, trying to crawl his way out. You saw a reflection of Rei in Dabi. The reflection of someone who was in pain but built these sky-high walls to hide any form of vulnerability.

‘Using the blood Endeavour left at the fight in Kyushu,’ his hand propping up a document, ‘there was a 99.99% match.’ 

Truly, it took a while to understand what you heard. Your eyes carefully traced the screen, ears perked up in denial as Dabi described every moment that Rei had described to you. Endeavour, the pain, the abuse, the screaming, the yelling. He recalled it with an absent look of apathy glazed across his face. His eyes reflecting that of an apathetic beauty. A look you recognized from the Rei who first walked into your care. If it weren’t for his unforgiving injuries, he would have been a splitting image of his mother. As you gazed upon his grotesque features, his lips mouthed the same name of the son who Rei prayed so desparately for the return of.

Yet you don’t think her prayers were answered in the best way.

You stared holes into that screen, watching his careful movements, scanning the paper Dabi held in his hands, as you watched his mouth moved it was in that moment that you realized you couldn’t hear. A ringing was blaring in your head as the only sensory you had left was that of sight. Your vision tunnelled, the sides of your perception clouding into black as you silently watched Dabi continue to expose that wretched hero who caused his dear family such tremendous misfortune. Dabi was the same Touya Rei cried to you with gulit over for all these years. The same Touya whos only remains found was a jawbone from the burning forest he died in. The same Touya who fell apart for the sake of his father’s dreams.

How isn’t he dead? It didn’t make any sense. His jaw, how was his jaw found without the rest of him? How had it come off? How did he survive the temperature of those flames being enough to cremate someone alive? Your eyes watched the screen, watched Dabi’s speech continue, that ringing spiking a headache of throbbing pain. Nothing made any sense. And you put your everything into focusing upon the scarred man on the screen so why did this have to happen? Rei was doing so well, it’s not fair, why did this have to happen? She doesnt deserve this to happen she had trued so fucking much. She didn’t deserve this, she was barely healed–

‘Miss Y/N! Is Mrs. Todoroki okay?’ 

Your coworker’s voice snapped you back into reality, and you stammered an apology before carefully placing Rei into her bed and turning off the tv with shaking hands. From the expression on your coworker’s face, you could tell they saw the footage aswell, their eyes nervously tracing to the ajarred cabinet door to the sedatives, understanding the regress in Rei’s stability from this entire situation. 

Sadly, Rei’s instability wasn’t as fleeting as you had hoped. It didn’t take long for Rei to fall apart into the hole she fought so hard to climb out of. With the mantra of angered ex-Endeavor fans accusing her of child abuse, along with the constant paparazzi that flashed bright lights toward her window and posted her tear-struck face all over tabloids, you couldn’t blame her. For days after the incident, you refused to sleep. Staying by her side as she couldn’t rest at all. Although a hospital never sleeps, it still quiets at twilight. But no, not anymore. For even night didn’t tire the fucking protestors. They screamed out, police desparately trying to control the situation, although they were smart. Hugging the gates, not actually on the property of the hospital. Thus, the police couldn’t pull any legalities on them. 

You never left the hospital anymore, every break and after your shifts, you would sit at Rei’s bedside. The aura was both somber and panicked, darkened with the occational sniffles and choked sobs of Rei’s rasped voice. Unlike the usual, you did not speak. You knew the voices in her head had come back now, and if you added your own, Rei wouldn’t be able to hold out any better than she already is. So, the only thing you knew to do was to never leave her alone, and her arms never left your back. You held her in an embrace every night, neither of you sleeping, neither of you talking. Slowly, she began to loosen her hold, gently sleeping a couple minutes a night with her chin resting on your shoulder. Your heart lit with hope, glad she could finally sleep a wink. Before long, she was truly able to fall into a decent slumber, her body resting against yours for a couple hours before she would gasp awake. Slowly but surely, improvement had come. And once Rei’s sleep schedule returned to some extent, you traveled back home to your apartment for the first time in over a week to gather your own well-deserved rest.

You wish you could say your return brought some comfort to you. But truly, the silence was eerie to say the least. Your mind was still worried. Worried that Rei would wake up in the middle of the night, all alone without you there. A part of you missed her already, but your boss became truly worried for your health after the bags under your eyes darkened into a bruise like hue. She demanded you at least go home for a night, and you relented. Truly, your body was giving up, and you needed the rest too.

Your keys twisted inside the lock as you pushed the door open, a familiar creak welcoming you back. You did not feel very welcome. The air was a piercing cold, with all the lights in your apartment off. The fact that it was late into the night did not help, with both an absence of light in your home and no twinkling stars to gaze upon. Everything was pure dark. You sighed, dumping your bag lazily by the door as you kicked off your shoes, taking heavy steps toward your room when you stopped. You stood still, so, so still. From the crack below your closed bedroom door, light bled into the dark hallway. You were scared, truly. You never leave the lights on before leaving, so what was happening here..? Why were the lights on?

A sense of dread filled your body, and you listened carefully. Nothing. No rummaging, no gentle thumps of someone’s steps, just the rays of light dauntingly brightening the floorboards and that white noise of ventilation. Quietly, you walked backward toward the front door, taking shaky breaths as your lungs quivered. You should’ve stayed with Rei. You shouldn’t have come. With how little sleep you had gotten, your mind felt as though you were floating. And obviously, you struggled to form any kind of rational thought about your current predicament. Despite that, you did have one thought. The thought that you must leave. Immediately. You didn’t care for your belongings, your jacket, nor your shoes and keys. All you cared for was to get the fuck out. 

Every pore on the wall felt as though an eye was peering through, watching your pathetically fearful movements. Shivers spiked down your spine and every dark crack of any open door had an imagined silhouette peering through, faces tauntingly smiling to you through the dark. You were panicking.

Your hand gripped the knob, turning it slowly to stiffle it’s persistent creaks before you flung open the door to bolt outside. Your mind raced, breath hitching as steps slapped upon the cement. As you approached a corner, you turned your head back as you kept running—fully expecting the door to fly open and a figure to chase behind you. You couldn’t imagine why you had to have some burglary occur. You didn’t live in an exceptionally poor or rich area, and there were blatant security cameras throughout the building. The more you watched your back, the more you felt a little silly. Nothing came, and you nearly slowed down your bolt as a light chuckle of relief fell before your mouth. You’re safe, your apartment was safe. There’s no threat in your room, obviously, you must’ve forgotten to turn off the lights. You turned the corner as your bolt slowed into a jog. Yet, your momentary relief was short-lived the moment you roughly crashed into something in front of you.

You fell back, falling hard onto your ass with your palms scraping against the unforgiving texture of the floor. Gravel stung, digging into your open skid marks. Athough, that pain was nothing compared to the strike fear over who stood before you. 

The very man upon your tv screen those days before.

The very man who single-handedly wrecked the top two heroes.

Dabi.

He looked down at you, a sickened gaze and smirk plastered over his graphic features. He looked manic, and he was manic. The way he demeaningly leaned down to you, hands dug deep into the pockets of his black slacks, the way he cocked his head to the side, it all made your throat starkly dry. 

‘Why the long face, Y/N?’ You internally gagged, your name sounded so vile on his tongue, in the way his face stared at you with hatred. How does he know your name? What does he want? You stared up at him speechlessly, your jaw falling silent and eyes dropping wide with horror. Your mind raced in confusion. Jumping from one false hope to another, trying to relieve your fear that you might not survive this encounter. Your only connection with Dabi was as the nurse of his mother, was he extrapolating some revenge against her? But why? Endeavour had been the main perpetrator of the abuse, so why are you being dragged into this so mercilessly? You couldn’t think clearly, but you did know one thing. Both of you well knew Rei had barely anything to do with the harm Touya had endured. Yet, here he was. Newly born as Dabi, as the Dabi who stared down at you as though you coddled his worst enemy your whole life.

His hand shot toward your collar, the fabric ripping at certain ends from the sheer force he used to drag you closer to his face. Your hands grappled at his wrist, fingertips digging into his hand before your force hesitated when you latched right onto his staples. You were scared. You were really, really scared. The way his smile grew wider in response to those pathetic tears that welled in your eyes, the way he held you so tightly your windpipe felt as though it was burning in pain. You felt misjudged. Thrown into an undeserving cruelty that you hadn’t even sinned enough to deserve. But obviously, why would a villain care about whether or not you deserved their violence?

‘Why are you so scared? I’m only here to thank you.’ He quirked, eyes wide as he laughed at your pathetic expressions of fear and struggle. ‘You won't die, so don’t be too dramatic.’ He smiled, yet, you didn’t feel comforted. Heck, a part of you here realized how much you wish you could’ve died at this moment. Was living through whatever he was about to put you through better than hell itself?

‘You took care of my dear old mom ever since I left, comforting her all those nights, helping her recover from Mr. Number One.’ His grip tightened, your collar bunching up into his palms, harshly wheezing your throat as you struggled to breathe. You knew no amount of fighting back was going to drain him down to stop. Dabi had you stood completely upright, right up on the tip of your toes as he held the majority of your body weight up by your neck, still leaning forward to truly yell into your face. Even without the threat of his quirk, you’d never stand a fucking chance against him with how he towers over you. You could tell of the venom Dabi had in his recalling of your care as his mother’s nurse, his pupils dialating in fury. Had he felt things were unfair? That he hadn’t had the help Rei needed when he felt so much worse? You tried to be empathetic, trying to find a way so you could make it out alive. But the more Dabi tightened his hold on you, the more you realized you wouldn’t be getting out of this unscathed—far from it, actually.

‘I’m here to repay you. You know? You spent so many years caring for her, so I’ll repay your act of kindness.’ His voice dripped in sarcasm, venom seeping through as his spat out to you right in your face. Suddenly, his expression morphed, his smile churning so wide the staples holding his smile  together began to rip at the corners of his mouth. ‘You know, that stupid woman isn’t the angel you keep treating her to be. Haven’t you seen little Shoto Todoroki? How do you think that scar on his precious face came to be?’ Your breath hitched as his grip tightened, your throat completely wrenched into his lone palm as heat began radiating through his fingers. Don’t listen to him, you told yourself. Rei messed up. She’s wasn’t the best mother. But no one helped her victim until she became the abuser. Shoto didn’t deserve that, neither did Rei deserve the cruelities of Endeavour, and nor did Touya deserve a crumb of the pressure he underwent. Can’t he understand that nearly everyone in this situation is some form of a victim? You felt frustrated trying to hold your tongue back against this man. He was blinded by rage, a rage that began rationally and morphed into something villianously sinister. It made you feel frustrated. He pitied himself too much. Everyone was struggling, Shoto and Rei too, so why was he so upset with you helping someone who needed to be helped?

‘You people disgust me. You save whoever the fuck you want, but leave the people who really need it out to burn up in a forest.’ You shook your head, shutting your eyes tightly in denial to his cruel accusations. You wanted to yell. Yell how stupid his words were, how tunnelled his thinking was. Dabi is being selfish. Yet, despite your anger, you were still striken with fear. You understood you were in no place to speak your mind, yet your words just spilled out in a frenzy.

‘You’re so linear.’ You said shakily, furrowing your eyebrows and trying to wrench your windpipe out of his grip so you could just barely breathe. ‘Rei was hurt too, she’s n-no angel, but she’s not such a demon either.’ You spoke quietly, but considered how you were choked up into the air it was remarkably impressive you could even get a peep out. Dabi seemed to only become amused, an upset form of amusement. Tears streamed down your cheeks, mainly from the physical agnoy, but moreso now that his palm began to luminate blue and heat up.

You were going to die over your fat tongue.

Your crying only seeming to fuel him even more as his smile ripped even wider. ‘I’m sorry— I didn’t mean it badly–‘ You panically wept. His eyes narrowed, a sense of absolute euphoria over the position of power he had. He felt so cocky, you know? He just ruined two of the top heroes’ careers and now he’s taking away the only support and comfort from his shitty mom. His revenge has just fucking started. He nonchalantly dropped your body onto the floor as he adjusted to stand straight. You crumbled to your knees, your hands flying to your throat as you wretched and coughed out. Your neck was painful to the touch, throbbing as you felt the bruise of his grip develop. Suddenly, he knelt down to one knee, looking at you with an unimpressed expression. 

‘Don’t be so fucking dramatic. Be grateful you’re alive.’ He spat, his tone unforgiving. You sobbed, trying your best to sniffle your crying as you bit down on your lip and shut your eyes tightly—too stuck in horror to look at whatever the fuck your current situation was. From the fear of death you just had, you nearly wanted to thank him for sparing your life. Your hands violently shaking as you refused to look up to him, parts of you begging that this was all some bad trip. Suddenly, he laughed. He began to laugh, growing louder and more insane. You stopped breathing, opening your eyes to see him heaving in absolute exhilaration. 

‘Don’t do that,’ He was profoundly euphoric, ‘you’re reminding me too much of how I cried to dear old Endeavour. What, are you trying to send me down memory lane?’ He finally calmed down a little, smiling at you as you knelt before him, fucking speechless. Your relief was immediately drowned out in the panic of what he was trying to do. He reached out, shoving his thumb into your mouth and forcing your jaw open. Taking his other hand, he forced two fingers down your throat without a shred of care. You gagged, grabbing his wrist and digging your nails into his skin as you felt a pill sink into being forced down into your body as he kept his fingers deep in your throat. Eyes wide as you tried to fight him off, jaw stiffening as you prepared to bite down on him. He stared you down warningly, his breaths deepening and hand warming on your jaw. You sobbed, relenting and loosening your grip on his wrist, shutting your eyes tightly. You felt a tear gently trickle down your cheek, it felt warm against your face. But not as warm as the threatening hand on your neck that wouldn't hesitate to burn. Dabi let go, standing up as you coughed out, feeling the pill stay stuck deep in your throat as you tried your best to ignore it. He lazily dragged his hand across your face, wiping your spit off his hand. You started to cry. Sobbing as quietly as you could as you heard. You could tell he was truly annoyed, clicking his tongue as he took heavy steps away from you - but still keeping a close enough distance to burn you alive if you tried to run away. You felt frustrated. What had you done to deserve this? What did he drug you with? Your panic made you hallucinate awful symptoms of the pill. The world began feeling dizzy, your head becoming light, ad your thoughts racing drunkenly. Although, rationally, you knew that you hadn't even digested the pill yet, so you tried your best to calm yourself down before the pill's effects would truly take place.

You didn't realize Dabi had taken his space between you two to take a quick call until he hung up, shoving his phone deep into his pocket before he looked back to you with a bored expression. 'Are you done crying?' He was annoyed. From the expression of apathy and boredom on his face, he resembled a tired dad sick of his children throwing a tantrum over every little thing. The way he looked down at you felt demeaning, and you felt your body shrink a little down into the core of your bruised heart. You wanted to stand up, your legs numb from being forced down to kneel this entire time. Yet, the fear you held over being burnt from any sudden movement kept you scarily still.

'Get up.' There wasn't a shred of care in his voice, but from the way he tangled his fingers in your hair, dragging you forward by it until you were knelt up awkwardly by his side like a dog, you weren't surprised by his verbal violence. Let alone his physical violence. You grabbed his hand, trying to ease the burning pain against your scalp. It felt as though your hair would rip from the root if he pulled just a little harder. Your eyes darted around, confusion to why he propped you up to him so closely. Was there some threat? Was something about to happen? You felt your heart pounding through your blouse, so loud it resonated inside your head. But, it didn't matter how much your scalp burned in pain. It didn't matter how your palms were still scraped open from your initial fall. It didn't matter how you had roughly fifteen minutes before that pill would digest. What did matter was that by the end of those fifteen minutes, you needed to be away from him and whatever he had planned for you. As though Dabi sensed your change in mood from fear to determination, his hand began to heat up.

'If you want to die, go ahead and try what you want. If not, stay down like the trash you are.' You felt the hope you built up crumble, maybe it was from Dabi's words. But mainly, it was from the literal crumble of the ground and roads in front of your apartment building. The way the earth caved in on the infamous stone-like creature that bulldozed through half of Japan—Gigantomachia of the League of Villians. His body was confined down so his brutish face was mere feet away from yours. His eyes were a glinted yellow, so much so they didn't resemble eyes in the slightest—moreso like large fragments of amber-filled or gold his sclera. You watched in horror as large rubbles of the road slipped down Machia's spikes, cracking their area of impact once they fell. Light after light turned on in your neighboring apartments, people opening their doors with pissed-off expressions darkened with eyebags. Looking to curse out whatever fool decided to make such a loud fuss in the middle of the night. Unsurprisingly, as the beast merely turned his head in their direction, and person after person ran out of their homes in wide-eyed fear.

Dabi rolled his eyes, unimpressed at their pathetic attempts at an escape. He raised his palm, flames bursting out from the center as screams of pain erupted. You stared in horror as the people you'd politely smile to every day burnt up before your eyes. You didn't plan it. Your arms reached up and grabbed Dabi's forearm to pull it down into our chest. You cringed when the flame lightly skimmed your shoulder, yet our grip on his arm remained iron. You refused to let people die right in front of you.

'What the fuck are you doing?!' He yelled, his flames dissipating as you watched a minuscule bunch run away safely. Dabi shoved you hard into the ground, glaring down at you in absolute annoyance. Yet you returned his glare, looking up at him with resentment. 'Fine, you wanna die? Go ahead.' He aimed his palm in your direction, a twinge of flames hurling out. Without a doubt, you were scared. You were scared of dying, scared of never seeing your loved ones again, and scared of the sorrow your death would cause. You hadn't had the impact you wished to have yet, yet here you were, about to die before barely making a dent of meaning in your life. But in that fear, you felt angry. Angry that you were being relentlessly harmed over helping someone who needed it, angry that Dabi would mercilessly burn the innocent without hesitation, and angry that he was mad at you over trying to save them. He was so unreasonable.

'God! Can you quit it?! I understand your pain, and I understand where you're coming from. But those people aren't Endeavour, Rei, or whoever else you hate! They didn't do anything to deserve being killed over, just like you didn't do anything to deserve what you went through as a kid. So why are you hurting them?!' You glared at him, adjusting your posture so you were sitting upright, a hand soothing the blistering burn on your shoulder. His flames fizzled out, and you saw his eyes widen. He was silent, still. As though for both of you, time stopped. You heard desperate steps fade away into the background, rubble from Machia falling upon the grass, and the sizzles of Dabi's flames eating away the fresh corpses that littered the scene about you two. His expression was apathetic, you couldn't read him. Yet, you felt his mind racing, before his palm picked up and slapped you, hard, right across your face.

'You understand me? Is that what you fucking said?' He was absolutely livid. You could hear the absolute anger in his voice, yet a soft smile spread across his lips. Your cheek felt stung, warm, and you were absolutely speechless. For some reason, him slapping you across your face felt more painful than the burn on your shoulder and the scrapes on your palms combined. It was the way he looked down at you. Down at you with absolute fury, as though you were a senseless fool. 'Don't you dare say you understand me when you haven't gone through what I did.' You could tell he wanted to kill you in that moment. You flinched when he reached out to you, expecting this to be your final moment. Instead, he threw you over his shoulder and jumped onto Machia's back, being dragged away to god knows where. You looked up to his face, catching a glimpse of his thumb wiping a droplet of blood from the corner of his eyes before wiping it onto his sleeve. Did he become injured? Or was that a common occurance? Truly, you shouldn't care. He had just battered you, violently dragging you upon the back of a rocky beast, and yet here your nursing instincts slapped you across the face to anaylze his aid.

Quickly, your brief confusion, or worry, for Dabi fell apart as you realized your legs couldn't feel the aggressive breeze of the wind against it's skin. You fought to move, to adjust your stature, yet you felt as though your nerves were burning, fighting against an invisble force that kept you scarily limp and still. Your heart began to pound in your chest, heavy breaths shaking your lungs as you nearly began to weep over what awful drug Dabi had foresaken onto you earlier. You felt constrained, uncomfortable, a distant tingle of pain tracing about the entirety of your skin as you tried to fight the stunt in your lower half. Your legs. Your legs were paraylzed. Your mind raced a mile a minute, heart dropping deep into your stomach. This isn't fair. It's not fair. You felt as though your life has fallen so far you couldn't even hear it's impact on the floor so down below. No resonating echoes, nothing. And that nothing was not at all what you deserved. You hand quivered, tracing across your shin to your thigh. It felt as though you traced your hand on another body, or a piece of your body that was no longer attached. You were disturbed, trying to keep your sanity together as your temples and eyes burned with frustrated tears. It wasn't until a tear hit your thigh, and you didn't even feel it, did you truly begin to break down.

Everything is a fucking mess.

[sweetprfct]

Is It Over Now?

Joseph Quinn x Fem!Reader

Summary: Fake dating your flatmate, Joe, should be a simple thing. It meant you get to help get his ex back, and it meant you get to stop your parents' nagging about bringing someone home for once. But what happens when fake dating turns into something unexpected? Now, what?

Author's Note: Part 2! :) Enjoy ! I actually am editing these chapters as I re-upload them so it's better but not much will change.

Disclaimer: Mention of violence, 18+

Wordcount: 4.4K

part one - part two - part three - part four - part five - part six - part seven - part eight - part nine - part ten

Joe’s head pounded the second he woke up the next morning. He slowly fluttered his eyes open, adjusting his vision from the bright light that was coming through the window. He couldn’t tell where he was at the moment until his eyes caught the sight of the coffee table and the television in front of him. He was still in the living room just like the blur memory he remembered from last night. He groaned softly, rubbing his temples and pinching the bridge of his nose to try and get rid of the throbbing headache, but it was no use. He drank too much last night, and he still remembered every detail of it. Every pain and every word that Ivy had told him. 

Shifting his eyes back on the coffee table, he found a glass of water, a paracetamol, and a yellow sticky note. Slowly, he pushed himself up from the sofa and let out another groan. God, he was starting to feel old. His body felt sore from sleeping on the sofa all night. He picked up the yellow sticky note and read:

Thought you might need it.

He knew that handwriting from anywhere and that was from you. He looked around the flat and found that it was quiet and empty. You were nowhere to be found. Taking the medicine and immediately washing it down with the water, he let out a sigh and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. He could still hear Ivy’s voice echoing in his mind from last night. He couldn’t help but wonder where he went wrong in showing her how much he wanted to be with her. Pulling out his phone from his back pocket, he stared at the screen for a moment before pulling up his messages from Ivy. He hasn't seen her for two months, and he was really excited to spend some time with her last night. 

“Hey, are you okay?” He asked. 

His mind flashed back to the memory from last night. He had taken her to a nice restaurant for once and not a pub, and he wanted the night to be a special night, but Ivy hasn’t said much ever since he picked her up from her flat. To make matters worse, she also has just been sitting there across from him barely eating her dinner. He had been telling her about what happened on set for his new film, and she barely listened. She was zoning out the whole time just staring into the empty space in front of her. 

“I don’t know if I can take anymore of this, Joe.” Ivy blurted the words out, cutting off the story that he was telling her.

Joe knitted his brows, confused as to what she was referring to. He reached for her hand on the table, but she was quick to slide it away. 

“What are you talking about, babe?” His voice was full of concern.

“I mean I can’t take anymore of barely seeing you. Whenever you come back, you’re only in town for a few days, and you leave again.”

Joe knew that his job was complicated, and it even got more complicated when his career had started going up. Flying to the States, other countries and different cities for conventions and events was what was taking up his life lately. Booking a role after another and attending fashion events and shooting commercials for them was the definition of his life for the last however many months. 

“Ivy, I know it can get so hard and complicated, but I’m trying my best to balance it all. It’s hard for me too, not seeing you everyday.”

Ivy didn’t buy what he said though. Instead, she scoffed and shook her head as she took a sip of her drink. 

“Don’t even get me started with that flatmate of yours.” She added. 

Joe furrowed his brows, confused. How did the subject of you suddenly enter this conversation? What was Ivy talking about? He hasn’t even shown any interest towards you nor had he seen you in months because he was barely home. Whenever he was in town, he would stay at Ivy’s most of the time. So, what was the problem when it came to you?

“She’s just my flatmate.” Joe reassured her. “There’s nothing going on between me and her. I barely see her.”

“And how do I know that? How can I be so sure?” Ivy’s eyes were full of jealousy. “She’s pretty, and I’m sure she’s better than me right? Because she’s smart and works at a lab. A fucking chemist, and I’m just a model.”

Joe shook his head in disbelief. He couldn’t put together how Ivy was comparing herself to you. Hasn’t he shown her all this time that he only wanted her and no one else? What more could he say or do?

“Babe, we’re just flatmates. You’re the one I want to be with.” Joe said sternly.

Watching Ivy throw her napkin on the table, she got up from her chair as Joe followed her. He wanted to stop her from leaving, but he couldn’t. 

“No, Joe.” Ivy stated. “This isn’t working out anymore.”

She had made up her mind, and Joe knew when Ivy made up her mind, there was no going back. But how could she just leave like that? How could she choose to believe the insecurities that were screaming in her mind than the actions he had shown to her several times? Not once had Joe broken his promises to her nor tried to disappoint her. Even when he was away, he always tried his best to make sure they talked every single day, so she didn’t feel like she was far from him. Now, he watched her walk out that door as if what they had the last several months was nothing. 

It was over. 

She was gone. 

Joe sighed at the memory as he made his way towards the bathroom. He smelled like alcohol and cigarettes, and his head was pounding even harder the more he thought about her. What else could he do? What could he do to get her back?

The sound of the coffee mug hitting the glass table echoed softly through the room. The place was crowded with people having a Sunday brunch with their friends or families. The gloomy January weather didn’t help with the mood of the conversation you were having with your friends.

Sara’s eyes widened in disbelief as she said, “Really?”

You nodded your head, looking at her through your lashes as you took a sip of your hot coffee. The hot liquid warmed up your throat and made your body relax. It was cold and gloomy, but you never wanted to miss your weekly Sunday brunch with Sara and Abby. It was a little tradition the three of you started ever since Sara had moved out. It was something you found comfort in every week. The day of the week that you would feel more at ease because Sara tends to balance you, and Abby was the most calm person you ever met. 

When Sara had met Abby at the art gallery three years ago, you immediately knew that she was the right person for Sara. Her wavy brown hair, green eyes and soft smile definitely caught Sara’s eyes at the beginning, but it was Abby’s calmness, patience and warm persona that made Sara fall in love with her. You weren’t going to lie that you also felt comfortable and at ease when you first met Abby too. You could understand why Sara had fallen for her. Now, every Sunday, the three of you would catch up and hang out, especially because life would get busy and chaotic from time to time. 

“I don’t know.” You shrugged. “I feel sorry for him.”

You just finished telling Sara and Abby about what you dealt with last night when Joe came home. Both women had met Joe before, and they knew he was a decent guy, but he was never the main subject of most of your conversations until now. You didn’t really know what to do or to think, so you wanted to seek out some advice or opinion from your best friends. 

“Honestly, Ivy sounds sort of insecure.” Abby commented. 

Abby was right. Even if you have dealt with your own insecurities, you could tell that Ivy also had a fair share of hers because really? Jealous of you? You were literally nothing but just a normal person trying to get through life, while her modeling career was quickly rising. She had nothing to worry about when it came to you. 

“Maybe Joe isn’t showing her enough reassurance?” Abby added, shrugging her shoulders.

You watched as Sara turned to you and tilted her head, brows all furrowed. “Are you sure that having Joe as your flatmate is a good idea?”

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes with how many times you have heard that line. 

“You sound like my mother.” You retorted back.

Sara chuckled softly at your comment and said, “No, but seriously… because do you really want to get caught up in their drama?”

Drama? That was the last thing you wanted in your life, especially in a drama that involved someone else’s relationship. You knew what Joe was going through, but you weren’t about to cross boundaries. What was going on between him and Ivy was their business, not yours. 

“I’m not really caught up in their drama. That’s their own problem, you know? My name just happened to get dragged into it.” You casually said as you shrugged your shoulders.

It was the truth. You weren’t. 

“Yeah, but what if she drags you even more in her little insecurity?” Abby addressed.

You knew what was going on between them. Even if your name was dragged to their conversation last night, you weren’t the big issue here. Joe had told you that, and you knew there were other issues they were dealing with. Ivy just happened to include you into it. Maybe to cause more excuses not to be with Joe. You really didn’t know.

“I don’t care what she feels about me because I’m not doing anything to her.” You took a bite off your waffle and decided to change the subject. You were sort of over this conversation about Joe. 

Whatever was going on with him, that was his business. All you did was comfort him and listen to him, hoping you’d make someone feel better. That was all. 

“Anyway, enough about me. How are you? How is married life treating you both?” You asked, a small smile creeping up on your face. 

You watched as the two women exchanged looks before both of their lips tugged into a smile. 

“Great!” Sara replied. “We’re settling in the new place, and Abby is back to work. Though, we sort of started talking about something the other night.”

Your eyes watched as Sara and Abby held hands, giving each other a warm smile. It made you more curious as to what Sara was talking about. 

“Tell her.” Abby murmured, squeezing Sara’s hand softly. 

Your eyes widened in curiosity as you waited for one of them to tell you whatever they were planning, and you couldn’t help but feel a bit impatient as Sara tried to find the right words to say to you. 

“What is it?” You asked. 

“I don’t know.” Sara suddenly felt shy as she gave Abby a hesitant look, which in return, Abby kept giving her an approval look. “We were sort of talking a lot of things about our future last night, and we know it sounds a bit crazy…” 

You raised your brows, wanting Sara to just spat out the words. 

“Yea?”

“We sort of want to adopt.” Sara finally said. 

You couldn’t help but almost jump out of your seat from excitement as soon as Sara said those words. 

“Ohmygod.” You covered your mouth with your hand. “Are you serious?”

Abby and Sara glanced at each other with excitement. They really were serious, and you could tell how thrilled they were by just how they were talking about it. They both turned back to you and nodded their heads. 

“I’m so happy for you both.” You took both of their hands in yours. “Please let me know if I could help with anything.”

“Thank you.” Abby smiled. “We both knew we wanted this even before getting married and the fact that it’s happening, we are very excited about it.”

“Then, you both should go for it!” You encouraged them even more as you all laughed softly in unison. 

“And you should go look for a new flat!” Sara teased you, squeezing your hand softly.

“Stop it! I’m fine.” You rolled your eyes, sliding your hands away from theirs. “I’m perfectly happy with my situation, and it’s not like Joe is bothering me. They’re broken up. I have nothing to worry about.”

Abby took a sip of her coffee and a playful smile tugged on her lips. “Who knows… Maybe you’ll end up with Joe.”

Oh, here we go again. 

Why did everyone keep pushing this idea of you and Joe? He literally was nothing but just your flatmate. Just because he was a man didn’t mean that you two would end up together. A woman and a man could be flatmates together. Just like a man and a woman could be friends. 

Right?

“We’re just flatmates. That’s all.” You argued.

You just wished everyone was going to drop this subject already because you and Joe weren’t going to happen. Ever.

Coming home later that day, you found the flat quiet and empty. The sofa was back to the way it looked. Pillows fluffed, throw blanket folded and hung at the back of it. The kitchen was clean, and the dishes that Joe promised he would wash were all clean and put away. Joe was nowhere to be found, and you figured maybe he had gone out. Maybe he went to go talk to Ivy or pick up his things from her place. Who knows.

As you walked down the hall towards your bedroom, floorboards creaked, and you heard a quiet rustling that came from Joe’s room. 

Oh, he was home. 

You passed by his bedroom and paused in your tracks as soon as you saw him organizing his room. He looked better. Not his usual normal face, but he looked better than last night. 

“Hey.” You gave him a soft smile, leaning against the doorframe.

Joe never set boundaries like you did with him, but you tend to respect his own private space. He didn’t have to set rules with you because he didn’t really care that much about his own boundaries, but you respected him as your flat mate. It was his bedroom. You never tried to step into it. 

“How are you?” You asked.

Joe shut his closet doors closed and took a deep breath, turning his attention to you with a smile. 

“Good. I have been thinking a lot all morning.” 

He looked… enthusiastic?

“Oh, yeah?” You raised your brows. “How’d that go?”

Joe started walking towards you as he said, “I really like Ivy.”

You nodded your head in understanding, trying to figure out where this conversation was going.

“And you know that, right?” Joe asked as if you were out of the loop about this whole thing.

Of course, you knew. He was probably mad over her.

“Right, but Joe if she doesn’t want this anymore–”

Joe cut you off as he stopped in front of you. It looked like a light bulb switched above his head as his lips tugged into a devious smile. 

“So, I was thinking that Ivy was just being Ivy, and she just wants attention. I know she wants me to chase her.”

What the fuck was he on? 

You furrowed your brows, wondering what that mind of his started thinking all morning that all of a sudden he was saying all of these things. If he wanted her back, then so be it. It was his life, and you couldn’t stop whatever he wanted to do with his life. You weren’t his mother. Though, from the look of his expression, you didn’t think his own mother could also stop him from doing whatever he wanted anyway. 

“So, I’m going to try and get her back.” Joe continued.

Well, good for you, mate but good luck. 

“Can I ask a favor though? No, not favor… But I need your help.”

Now, you were scared–no–terrified.

You stood there without saying a word as you blinked your eyes and stared at Joe for a moment. You didn’t want to say anything or ask what he wanted because you had a feeling in your stomach that it was going to be something you weren’t going to agree on. You could just feel it. 

“What is it?” You steady your voice, trying not to stumble on your words. 

“I need you to be my fake girlfriend.” Joe said sternly, his chocolate button eyes staring right into your eyes.

Oh, fuck no.

Absolutely fucking not. 

Your eyes widened in disbelief, trying to repeat Joe’s words in your head. Did he really just said that? Did he really just asked you that? When he said he had been thinking all day, you didn’t realize that he hadn’t been thinking at all! Where the fuck did he even got this idea from? Did he put that paracetamol somewhere other than his mouth, or did that medicine went up to his brain? 

You understood that he was going through a difficult and rough time due to the fact that he liked Ivy that much, but did he completely lose his mind? Was this the situation that Abby and Sara were afraid of when they said that you really needed to look for a new flat? Because it was starting to look like your flatmate had gone mad. 

“E…Excuse me, what?!” You finally found your words as you looked at Joe in disbelief. 

“I know that I probably sound mad but–”

“Uh… yeah, you got that right!” You scoffed, shaking your head as you took a step back from him. 

Maybe your mother was right. What else was he going to do next? Stab you just like what that boyfriend of your mother’s friend’s daughter did?! 

Joe saw the horrific look in your eyes as he tried to calm you down and showed you that he wasn’t actually going mad but all you wanted to do was run away from where you were. 

Joe sighed and looked down at his feet and said, “If she saw you and me are dating, then she’d get jealous and she’d ask me to get her back.”

You really need to go find another flat. 

You shook your head and started making your way towards your bedroom. “Absolutely not! You’ve gone mad!”

Joe followed behind you, and you gave him a “don’t you dare” look as soon as he was about to step inside your room. Joe, however, caught himself and stood by your doorway with pleading eyes. 

“Please? I know that this is crazy, and you probably think I’m crazy, but I really like her. I just…” Joe’s voice was soft as he let out a sigh and said, “I really thought she was the one.”

You weren’t going to lie. You have known Joe for a year, so you knew this was just him going through a breakup. Maybe losing his mind a little but everyone loses their minds when it comes to someone they love, right? Did Joe even love Ivy? You understood why he was doing this, but you were already on Ivy's hit list, and Joe thought this was going to be a good idea?

There was no way you were going to bring yourself in this drama. You already told yourself that. You even told your friends that earlier. 

God, Sara and Abby were right. 

“If she’s the one, then she’ll come back to you without you doing all this crazy shit.” 

Joe pursed his lips and nodded his head in understanding. He wasn’t going to press you with this subject because he knew it was mental in the first place. He was just hoping that maybe you would say yes, but he also understood that you weren’t going to put yourself in a situation like this. How could he drag you into his own problem?

“I understand.” Joe murmured. “I’m sorry for making up this idea in the first place, and I’m sorry for trying to drag you into it.”

You watched as Joe gave you an apologetic look and walked away. You sighed and flopped yourself on your bed face down, letting out a small groan. Suddenly, your phone buzzed in your back pocket. You flipped yourself over, so you were laying on your back, sliding your phone out and saw that your mum was trying to facetime you.

Oh, fucking great. 

Whatever she wanted to say wasn’t really something you wanted to hear tonight. You didn’t need her to add into the craziness. You stared at your phone for a moment, hesitating on what to do, but you knew she wasn’t going to leave you alone, so you decided to answer the call. 

“Hey mum.” Your voice sounded tired. 

The second your mum appeared on your screen, you saw how she looked excited and there was a big smile plastered on her face. 

“It’s not really a good time, mum–”

Your eyes widened when a man about your age appeared next to your mum. He waved hello to you as your mum started introducing you to him. 

What the hell was she doing? Was she really trying to set you up with a stranger right now? Joe wasn’t the only one going mad tonight. Though, you retracted that thought because your mum was already mad. 

“This is Alex. He’s our new neighbor’s son. I thought maybe you two could get to know each other.”

God, this was so embarrassing. 

How could she fucking do this to you? You were 28 years old, and she was setting you up with some man you never met. Not only was it embarrassing, but you didn’t need your own mother to set you up with someone. If you wanted to date or be in a relationship, you could find a man for yourself. 

“Mum, this isn’t such a good time.” You looked at Alex through the screen and said, “It’s nice to meet you, but I have to go. I’m sorry.”

Just like that, you immediately hit the end call button and grabbed your pillow to muffle a scream. Everything was just making you so frustrated, and you were even more frustrated with your mum. Her actions were starting to get into your last nerve. You didn’t know if you could take anymore of this from her. Even if you were far away, she still managed to piss you off. 

Staring at the ceiling, your dad’s voice echoed in your mind about when you were going to bring a man home. Were you really that much of a disappointment to your family? Did you really need to marry or be with someone for them to feel proud of you? Because that was just wrong. You were a chemist for fuck’s sake. You were literally out there dealing and mixing chemicals and synthesizing DNA just so this world could find cures for illnesses and diseases and all your parents could care about was you getting in a relationship? 

You were so sick of it! 

Then, your eyes darted towards the empty hall just right outside your door. Joe’s offer echoed in your mind, and you were starting to ask yourself if you also had gone mental too. Maybe you have. 

Letting your feet lead you, you got up from your bed and slowly walked down the hall towards Joe’s bedroom. His door was open, and you quietly peeked and saw that he was just sitting there at the edge of his bed, thinking deeply with a melancholy look on his face. His hands were playing with the empty beer bottle, and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes because all of this was so stupid. 

“So…” You stood by his doorway, getting his attention. “How long is this fake dating thing?”

Joe froze where he was and stared at you in disbelief. Were you really offering an approval to his crazy idea? Honestly, you were asking yourself the same thing. 

“Just until I finally catch her attention and would want me back.” Joe answered.

You bit your lower lip, playing with your fingers nervously for a moment before taking a deep breath and said, “So, here are the rules...”

Joe’s full attention was now to you as he waited for you to continue. 

“If you get to use me as your fake girlfriend then I get to use you as my fake boyfriend at any upcoming family gathering.”

Joe set the empty bottle on his bedside table before getting up from his bed and walked over to where you were. He was trying to comprehend the offer that you just made. 

“You mean… introducing me to your parents as your boyfriend?” Joe asked, brows all knitted together. 

“Yes, that’s right.” 

“Then, you have to go to party events with me, especially if Ivy is there.”

You tilted your head, giving Joe a look. “Joe, I have a job. I can’t just ditch that for stupid party events.”

“Then, how are people going to believe we’re dating if we’re not seen together?” Joe argued. 

The man had a point but there was no way you were going to agree with this without getting anything in return. 

“Fine, but you get to pay for the dresses and shoes that I have to wear to these stupid events, and I get to keep them all.”

“Okay, deal.” Joe gave you a smile. 

You weren’t done yet. 

“And one more thing, you could only kiss me and hold me but there’s no sex.”

The small chuckle that escaped from Joe sort of insulted you, but you ignored it because this was all fake anyway. Besides, you both were using each other for both of your benefits, so you didn’t have time to feel insulted that Joe was quick to agree that he didn’t want to have sex with you. 

“No problem.” Joe agreed, reaching his hand towards you. 

You stared into his eyes as you shook his hand firmly in agreement. 

You were so going to regret this, weren’t you? 

Taglist:

@palomahasenteredthechat @sunvick @eddies-acousticguitar @demonsanddemogorgons @joesquinns @mmunson86 @ghostinthebackofyourhead @corrodedcoffincumslut @figmentofquinn @tlclick73 @browneyes8288 @bylermaxmayfield @ali-r3n @ficsbypix @capricornrisingsstuff @missonlypost @ali-in-w0nderland @amberolivia666 @lalalala-melmosworld @niallersfreckles @nanas-lasagna

[russolover]

Labyrinth

12. “I think I’m in love with you and I’m terrified.” 25. “It hurts...” “what?” “Loving someone who doesn’t love you...”

You watched your best friend as she put on her infamous strawberry lipgloss to complete her outfit. She has been talking about god knows what for the past 10 minutes but the only thing you could focus on was the way her blue eyes looked back at you whenever she was asking for your input. Of course you had no idea what she was talking about you were just nodding and smiling at her.

"Y/n? are you listening to me?" alessia asked as she turned around to sit on the opposite site of the bed

"Sorry I just zoned out, what were you saying?" you replied

"Are you okay? this has been happening a lot lately"

Your heart rate picked up at the sheer thought of alessia knowing she has been occupying your mind for the past months. Somewhere between mid-week movie nights and weekly dinner cooking sessions you memorised the freckles on her face and realised how sparkly her blue eyes shine whenever she was laughing at something.

I mean, you always knew alessia was gorgeous you just never saw her in that way. You've been best friends for years and those feelings just crashed onto you the last few months.. or maybe you just stopped suppressing them.

Whatever it is it could be a make or break situation when it came to your relationship with her.

"I'm good less, are you ready?

The scrunch of her eyebrows didn't go unnoticed as you tried to shake off her question, but the blonde ignored it for the moment being.

"Yeah, let's go"

As the hours went by at the party, more of the lionesses squad started to enter the bar. It was a pretty nice evening overall, especially reuniting with some of the girls since you haven't seem them for a while.

You sat at one of the corners of the bar with Georgia and Keira as your were sipping on your drinks. It was obvious that your mind has been somewhere else the whole evening but neither of your friends wanted to pressure you into talking.

As you looked across the room you could see your favorite Italian laughing the evening away with tooney and mary. Your eyes were on her a bit too long for Keira and Georgia to go unnoticed. As a matter of fact, they knew about your feelings for alessia, which is why they were worried about you. It was eating you alive to keep your feelings a secret.Keira tried to persuade you to be honest several times, but that didn't work.

"Y/n the odds of her liking you back are more-

"Gee stop, you can't be sure of that" you sighed as you looked back into alessias direction which made you choke on your drink.

Someone on the bar tried flirting with her and she didn't look as bothered as you wanted her to. You couldn't be mad at her, I mean you had no reason to.

Right?

But the stinging in your heart overweighed the voices around you. As if she was reading your mind, alessia turned into your direction and made eye contact with you immediately sensing that something was going on. She excused herself quickly and came over to your direction.

"Do you want to go outside for a moment?" she gave Keira and Georgia and apologetic smile before taking your hand to pull you outside

As you were breathing in the cold, fresh air you felt your whole body calm down. You felt the blondes eyes on you but tried to ignore it.

"Y/n, what's going on?" she asked worry laced into her voice

"I can't-

"You're saying that all the time but I see that something is bothering you. I can't help you if you're not-

"I don't want you to help me less" you immediately regretted the words as soon as they left your mouth. The flash of hurt in her blue eyes made your heart ache.

"I didn't mean that" the tears started stinging in your eyes as you couldn't control your emotions anymore. You tried taking deep breaths to try and calm yourself down but it didn't help this time.

"It's okay you-

"No it's not, I- I'm just-

"Deep breaths Y/n, come here" she pulled you in for a hug which was seemingly the only way to calm you down. Her sweet strawberry scent slowed your heartrate down, you felt at peace whenever you were near her.

"Better?" she whispered as she soothingly caressed your back

"Yeah, thank you" you mumbled out as you tried to get your thoughts straight

You knew this moment was coming sooner or later, you just didn't realise the weight it had on you. As you were standing in the cold for more than 10 minutes you realised she must be freezing. She was giving you time, it was one of the things you loved about her.

"I'm scared that this will change everything" you whispered as you avoided eye contact with the Italian at all cost

"Whatever it is we will get through it together, we always have"

Another thing that made you fall in love with alessia was her positive attitude. It was infectious, she truly was your Italian sunshine.

"We can't just get through it this time less" you sighed as you started playing with the rings on your hand

"Okay what if-

"I think I'm in love with you and I'm terrified" you interrupted her

And there it was..

The silence you were terrified off. The silence which made you overthink every word you've just said and which made it feel like your heart has just been shattered into a million pieces.

"Y/n" alessia whispered. As you looked at her it seemed like the air got knocked out of her and this was enough for you to know the answer.

"I'm sorry I should've never said something" you mumbled as you turned around to make a b-line to Keiras car as you send her a quick message. You tried to ignore alessia calling you as the tears were brimming in your eyes.

As soon as Keira saw the message she ran to her car pulling you in for a big hug. You were sobbing into her shoulder as the older woman tried to calm you down a bit.

"Come on, lets get you home" you only nodded not saying anything

It only feels this raw right now

Lost in a labyrinth of my mind

The song was playing in the background as you were replaying the whole night in your mind. Your tried ignoring the numerous messages and missed calls from a certain blonde.

"It hurts.." you whispered

"what?" Keira asked softly

“Loving someone who doesn’t love you...” you replied as your friend gave your knee a light squeeze

[slashmagpie]

“Aw, man,” Gem complains, skidding in to land on the floor of Grian’s cave basement. “I missed it! Darn Newfoundland time zone.”

False, who is also here for some reason—perhaps she’d been here for the send-off, and simply… stayed after everyone had left? That doesn't sound right, but—glances over at her, eyebrows scrunched together. “But can’t you just… you know.” She waves her hand. “Go back whenever you want?”

Gem huffs. “Yeah, but I wanted to say goodbye. Give ‘em a proper send-off, you know?” She grins, gesturing casually to the sword on her hip. “After all, the Princess of Dawn is a pacifist.”

False snorts. “Probably for the best you weren’t here, then. The time it would’ve taken for them to get back after you killed them, the Rift would have closed.”

“Yeah, probably.”

Gem stares at the portal, now cold and dark stone, no longer humming with life. No longer a gateway to who-knows-where. Honestly, it’s probably for the best. It’s not good when people who don’t know what they’re doing start messing with interdimensional travel. And Grian definitely doesn’t know what he’s doing. He’d needed a robot to do it, for goodness sake! 

False is also staring at the portal. Gem sends her a sidelong glance. “You didn’t go with them?” she asks. 

False frowns. “Why would I do that?”

“Um, you know, Cogsmeade and all that?”

“Ohh,” False says with a tone of realisation. “You’re talking about the other one.”

Now it’s Gem’s turn to be confused. “I’m sorry—the other one? There are two of you?”

False stares blankly back at her. “Um, yeah? Wait, you didn’t think—you didn’t think she was me, did you?”

“I—yes? Yes! Obviously I did, False!”

“Oh. Well, no, we’re different people. She has her empire, and I have my hermits, and I like it much better when those things are kept far apart, thank you very much.”

Gem splutters incoherently. “False!” she cries. 

“What?” 

“I—you—what?”

False sighs. “She’s my evil twin. Clone. Whatever. I didn’t want her hurting anyone so… It’s for the best that she’s over there.”

“False. False. I’m over there, False! And so is—is fWhip and Sausage and Scott and Jimmy and—you didn’t think we should know about this?”

Something flashes across False’s face too quick for Gem to read it, replaced quickly by her usual disaffected stare. Gosh, Gem hates that sometimes, how hard False is to read. “Well,” she says, awkwardly, “I guess you know now.”

“And when you say evil…”

“Just… don’t worry about it, okay? I don’t think—I fixed it. Probably. It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.”

“Well now I’m gonna worry about it, False! This is worrying!”

False sighs. “And this is why I didn’t tell you.”

Gem feels oddly hurt by that statement. “What? Because I’m worried?”

“Yeah, you’re, y'know, freaking out. You don’t need to freak out. Everything is fine.”

“Everything is fine,” Gem echoes.

“Exactly.”

Gem… sighs. “Okay,” she says. “Okay, I’ll believe you.” She turns her gaze back from False to the dead portal. “Huh,” she says, after a long moment. “You know, I thought it’d feel… different. More grand. This is… So much has changed, and now it’s over, and it’s just… quiet. Don’t you feel that?”

“...I guess,” False says, after a moment. “Maybe we should have thrown a leaving party. Then again, maybe that would have been in bad taste.”

“What do you mean?” 

“Don’t you know what today is?” False’s eyes widen at Gem’s blank look. “You really don’t, do you?”

“No? Why, what’s today?”

“It’s been a year,” False says. “You know, since, uh. Season Eight. Moon. All that.”

“Oh,” Gem says. Then, “Oh.” 

“Yeah.”

“Has it really been a year? It feels… it feels longer, doesn’t it?”

“Does it?” False asks. “I was thinking it feels shorter.”

They’re quiet for a moment longer.

“I hope they’re doing okay,” Gem says at last. “The Empires people, I mean. I hope they’re…”

False raises an eyebrow. “Can’t you just go check on them?”

“I can,” Gem says. “I could.”

“Then why don’t you?”

Gem balls her fists in the fabric of her skirt and squeezes until her knuckles turn white. “We were there for a long time. I think I want to stay here for a bit.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Gem lets out a breath. Forces herself to let go. Turns to face False fully. “I think I want to stay.”

False studies her for a moment, all sharp edges and sharp eyes. “Good,” she says at last. 

Gem asks, “What about the other you? Don’t you, you know… want to see her?”

“The other emperors will look after her,” False says. “I don’t… My place is here. I mean, I couldn’t go if I wanted to”—she gestures to the lack of portal—”but I don’t want to. It’s… I told you it’s fine, remember? So I don’t… I want to stay.”

“Good,” Gem says. “I don’t know what we’d do without our False.”

False snorts. “Oh, I know, you’d all be a right mess without me. Not an ounce of common sense between all of you.”

“Hey, that’s not fair!” 

“Yeah? Name me one, one hermit that wouldn’t—”

They’re interrupted by a clatter of machinery and turn to see Grian frozen behind a fallen metal panel. The three of them stare at each other for a long moment, deers frozen in the headlights.

“Grian!” Gem cries. “Were you eavesdropping?”

“In my defence,” Grian says, holding up his hands in surrender, rockets clasped in one fist, “you’re in my base. If you don’t want me to hear your conversations, get out of my house.”

He has a point. Unluckily for Grian, Gem also has a point—the pointy end of her sword. She pulls it out, and hears False do the same beside her, and they both take a threatening step forward. Grian yelps and takes to the sky.

“After him!” False cries, leaping into the air.

Gem pulls out her rockets and follows, shooting up out of the hole and into the twilight. She dives down and falls in line alongside False as they follow Grian away from his base. 

“What is it you were saying about hermits doing stupid stuff?” Gem calls cheekily, and punctuates her statement by flying straight into a wall.

GeminiTay experienced kinetic energy.

<Grian> HA

<FalseSymmetry> dw I got your stuff 

<GeminiTay> thanks false 

<GeminiTay> <3

[lucidheart3]

Here is a Sonic Movie fic I wrote, hope you guys like it. Here’s the link of AO3 version.

Late Night Endearment

It’s time for bed, little rascals!” Tom announced as he picked up the very sleepy fox kit from where he had snuggled against a sleeping Maddie, and winked at Knuckles who quietly obliged, approaching the stairs while dragging the grumpy hedgehog. He slowly ascended to the attic, careful to not disturb Tails in his arms.

“C’mon, just because Tails’ sleepy doesn’t mean we should sleep too! We are older!” Sonic complained, Knuckles groaned and tugged him a bit harder then necessary without realizing, and Tom shot him a warning gaze before turning to Sonic.

“You zoned out and asked us to replay the last five minutes of the movie three times bud. That sounds sleepy to me.”

“I was… thinking of something! “

“Hedgehog, thinking? Unheard of.”

Knuckles quipped, and earned a chuckle from Tom, which made his violet eyes sparkle. He was getting the hang of having the fun, and he was happy his… tribe joined in whenever he did. Sonic glared, but the very obvious grin he tried to hide betrayed his fake annoyance. He didn’t mind, though, because Knuckles finally relaxing around them enough to joke around was a rewarding sight to see. Knuckles gently let go of his arm once they reached the attic, and Tom placed Tails to his plane-themed bed, which made the fox open his glazed eyes to look around, likely questioning when had he gotten up here. Sonic flashed a smile to Tails, Knuckles nodded, and Tails replied with a content smile before letting his body crash on the bed. Tom grinned and approached Sonic first, who pulled his blanket over himself and laid down, no longer grumpy about having to go to bed. Tom ruffled his quills, and noticed Tails’ and Knuckles’ gazes on them. He turned to Tails, petting his head affectionately, and the fox leaned into his touch, while trying to force his heavy eyes to open

“G’night dad.” The kit muttered before dozing off, and Tom’s eyes immediately filled with tears, and he heard Sonic gasp. Once Tom turned his back, hedgehog quickly hit the pillow, and clenched his eyes shut. Tom’s eyes caught Knuckles’, and he averted his gaze, Tom figured maybe he was a bit shy about getting tucked in, but still petted the top of echidna’s head.

“Good night, big guy.” He said, and Knuckles smiled in response, and lied to the side. He had a good look on the boys before leaving. Tails was asleep once again, Knuckles had a a serious expression on his face, that child never relaxed, but his eyes were shut. Sonic was clearly forcing his eyes to stay shut and had a lopsided smile on his face which made Tom seriously doubt he was asleep, but he couldn’t fault him even if he tried to. Tails had called him dad for the first time ever, and Tom was sure Sonic was aware of that as well. Couple of days ago Tails had started calling Sonic and Knuckles his brothers, and Sonic hadn’t shut up about it, using every second Tails wasn’t with him to gush over him and declare that he was going to be the best big brother ever. Knuckles’ reaction was a bit toned down, but he was in the best mood anyone has seen him for days now. Tom closed the door of the attic and made his way down with the biggest grin on his face. Maddie was standing on the end of the stairs, a knowing smile on her face.

“What did they do this time?” Maddie asked affectionately, looking forward to hear the endearing things her sons would be up to after Tom tucked them in. She swore every night, Tom would come down with a smile, or tears in his eyes, because appearently sleepiness made her boys only cuter. Too bad she usually dosed off before Tom took the nightly duty. Tom embraced her tightly, and she rubbed his back

“Tails called me dad, Maddie!” He announced as quietly as he could, Maddie broke their hug to face him, her hands placed on his shoulders.

“For real?” She asked before her husband started tearing up, and nodding with a tight-lipped smile. She took his hand and led him to the couch. They sat, facing each other. Tom sighed, likely to collect his thoughts, his happiness was overwhelming his mind.

“I just… can’t believe I have three sons now.” He whispered, heart fluttering upon hearing the worlds fill the silence between them. Maddie nodded, giving his hand a gentle squeeze.

“We went from family of three to six in less than a year. It really is unbelievable.” She said, and Tom laid back on the couch.

“When Tails and Knux came, I thought of them as Sonic’s friends first. I even told him so.”

“Yeah, but we didn’t really know they were here to stay, did we?”

“Heh, guess we didn’t. A part of me is sad that they had to, because they were all alone, like Sonic was.”

“I get you. I’d love to hear they had loving and present families back home, but we’re doing everything in our power to give them that. “

“Exactly, and we’re doing a damn good job!” He nearly shouted, and Maddie shushed him, giggling as he clasped his hand on his face.

“Well, a good job besides staying quiet.”

“ Sonic’s been rubbing off on you. You can’t contain your excitement sometimes.”

“About Sonic…”

“He is probably awake, isn’t he?”

“Poor guy did his best trying to calm himself down, but I don’t think he’d be able to sleep much.”

“Like father like son, huh?” Maddie said, playfully punching Tom’s arm. He flashed that boyish grin she fell in love with, and she sometimes noticed Sonic smiled the same sometimes. She guessed Sonic watched them more carefully than they noticed, before and after they met him.

“Can’t fault the guy. Tails is an incredible child, and we’re lucky to have him.” Tom answered, and Maddie hummed in response.

“I can’t wait for the day he calls me mom. Knux too.”

“They will, eventually. We just have to keep walking towards them, and allow them to meet us halfway. “ Tom said, then a yawn escaped Maddie.

“Yeah, eventually.” She murmured, and stood up, tugging her husband behind to their room. They needed sleep to take on another day of parenting super-powered extracelestial children.

[owl-with-a-pen]

okay but another angsty thing re: Brainy and sleeping, what if he wakes up from a nap or something in the Tower soon after the season 5 finale and thinks he's still in that room with the radiation poisoning him (like maybe he has a nightmare about that), so someone has to calm him down and bring him back to reality

If the 3,000+ word count wasn't a dead giveaway, I had some fun with this one 😉

If Nia was certain of anything, it was that Brainy was going to crash real soon. He’d been looking pale ever since they’d returned from the Fortress, and there was no way in hell she could ignore the feverish heat that had prickled from his skin while her face had been buried so snugly against his throat. He hadn’t said anything then, but when they’d eventually picked themselves up from the lab’s floor, Brainy had been ready to drop long before they made it to the elevator. Without Nia's guiding hand, he never would have made it to the loft in one piece.

By the time they were hunkered down on a sofa in the Tower’s living nook, tablet balanced precariously between them, one of J’onn’s blankets folded over their knees, Brainy been close to passing out entirely. The only thing that stopped him was his relentless focus on the task at hand.

Every now and then, Nia caught his eyes as they worked a path across the data she’d been able to draw up from their borrowed intel downloaded from the Fortress’s supercomputer. It wasn’t much, but between the Tower, Legion and Kryptonian archive, they had a halfway decent snapshot of what the Phantom Zone might entail.

Finding Kara, though? That was the tricky part.

Nia’s heart hurt every time she thought about it – of Kara lost and alone in that place. She’d once described it to her as worse than hell. A terrifying purgatory where nightmares held a tangible presence.

No one had gone home that night. Nia lost track of Alex some point past midnight when Lena appeared with enough Big Belly Burger to feed a small army. Her best guess was that she’d retreated downstairs in the commotion to get first dibs on J’onn’s intergalactic coffee machine. They could’ve all used the kick right about now, and any other night Nia would’ve been shouldering her way to the front of the line.  

But coffee wasn’t going to cut it today. Besides, shoulder-to-shoulder with Brainy was exactly where she needed to stay. Maybe he hadn’t been eager to share anything out loud, but when he’d refused to eat any of Lena’s generous offerings, Nia had known what was up.

The nanites were starting to hit back. Hard.

She could survive without the caffeine, she rationalised. Maybe it was a good thing. She’d been doing pretty much anything to deny sleep for the last few months, hating herself whenever she slipped into a dream with Brainy as the centrepiece, goading her even in the deepest corners of her subconscious. She’d spent so long convincing herself that it was all in her head, that it was her grief and guilt that had conjured him up as her eternal tormenter. Knowing the truth of it still stung, an ache that went bone-deep, but that pain had started to ease the moment she’d locked her pinkie with his.

She wasn’t sure how easy she’d sleep now, but she knew that she couldn’t ignore the tug of the dream realm any longer. It was the only place she could figure any of this out, no matter how uncertain she felt. Besides, she wasn’t alone this time. She had Brainy back on her team, his promise to her as unbreakable as steel, and knowing that made everything feel just a little lighter.  

Nia wasn’t surprised when the words on the tablet began to blur into an incomprehensible muddle, the lull of her unconscious mind far too pressing of a force to refuse. Soon, she was lost to that darkness, pulled dizzyingly fast towards the threads of a dream already spun partway together.

Sometimes, her dreams came to her in quick successive flashes - other times they settled into specific locations, familiar or alien alike.

The room she awoke to was hazy, shimmering with rippling heat that rose in waves from the surface of the ground, enough that she couldn’t see a thing inside it. There was light, though, a deep orange spectacle that shone from somewhere close to the floor.

Before she could even try to understand where she was, pain like nothing she’d ever experienced erupted across her skin. It didn’t have a source, rather it radiated from all-round. It was a tangible pressure, raw and harsh, a laser point fixed solely on her that bypassed clothes and flesh alike, blistering straight to blood and bone. Her limbs felt like lead wherever it penetrated, targeting her joints until she folded with a swallowed scream to the floor. Nia’s chest held stiff, refusing to draw in the air she suddenly, desperately needed.

Because every breath burned - worse than the last - as though her lungs were lacerating inside her ribs. She gritted her teeth like she was biting down on leather, the sting of her tears sizzling to vapour before they even had a chance to fall.

What was this place her mind screamed, that too sounding warped and winded to her ears. Her dreams had certainly terrified her before, but they’d never hurt her like this. Like they could kill.

Nia gasped, gripping for her throat when the pressure of the air thickened inside her mouth, scalding her tongue. She could nearly taste it, bitter like battery acid, sharp like blood. Something about that taste was familiar to her, like when she’d overexerted her powers or…

No… there was something else. Because she had felt this before. Just for a second. Just before…

Before she’d been thrown from Leviathan’s ship.

Leviathan.

That didn’t make sense. If that was what her dream was trying to tell her, it’d missed the mark by a mile. The ship was gone – Leviathan along with it. No amount of pain could convince her otherwise. And if that was true, then there was nothing left of this dream that could hold a connection to the future.

How could her dream prophesise something that no longer existed?

Just as Nia had forced another breath through her bubbling lungs, bracing herself for the pain that would follow, she heard something. A sound that cut through the fog in her mind, that made everything suddenly so clear.

A soft, barely audible whimper from across the room.

Nia curled her hands into fists, jerking against the molten metal that greeted her knuckles, and looked up. Beyond the stifling power of Leviathan’s radiation, she could see the shape of a person pressed up against the console of the furthest edge of the room. She blinked against the stinging in her eyes, realising that the orange light she’d seen before had been coming from there. Now, that glow sharpened into something starker, closer matching the pale hair it illuminated – pasted against the jawline of a very familiar green face.

Nia’s eyes widened in shock, gasping his name.

Brainy sat with his knees drawn towards his chest, his body curved protectively around an object cradled closely to his centre. Even while she watched, Nia could see the spasmodic convulses of his chest as he tried to draw in breath, quickly followed by a barely muted cry of pain when the radiation crept in instead; his teeth an off-white smear fixed into permanent misery.

Nia’s heart twisted hard enough to outweigh her own pain. Because… it wasn’t her pain. It never had been. She’d never been inside the ship long enough to feel its true effect. None of them had.

None except…

Brainy. Of course this was Brainy’s dream. She wasn’t inside a vision at all. In her exhausted confusion, she must have slipped right into Brainy’s mind.

It was rare – rarer than rare, actually. But sometimes it could happen. If she and Brainy were tired enough, if they hadn’t been thinking, or even if they were thinking too much, then…

It hadn’t happened in so long, though. It couldn’t. They would have needed to share each other’s space, each other’s bed…

Now a new pain fluttered in her heart, an ache she thought she’d begun to remedy. But it had become such an old pain now, something that had fused itself to her after months of grief and frustration and anger.

In a way, this place was that and more. She’d never seen Brainy’s mind palace after he’d taken off the inhibitors, never experienced his dreams with his true self restored. And despite the heaviness of this place, the colours here were more vibrant, every light source so bright they could have been blinding. There was a sound beyond the buzz of the radiation, one that thrummed at the base of Nia's skull like old whispers, slipping in and out of audibility between every laboured pant of Brainy’s chest.

He looked like he had in the vision Nia had seen not a few hours earlier – when he’d collapsed to the ground after absorbing all that targeted radiation.

Ten minutes had already been too much for him, and those ten had turned into fifteen, twenty—it had taken Nia far too long to make it down there. And then, even after she’d found him, she hadn’t been quick enough, hadn’t had the power or natural immunity to drag him to safety.

It could have killed him. It should have. Nia’s dreams had been right to make her feel that way. This was to as near-death as she could have experienced without being in Brainy’s place.

And, for whatever reason, Brainy’ subconscious had decided to drag him right back here.

Now she was beginning to understand the rules of this dream, Nia realised that the radiation didn’t hold the same power over her. With a deep breath, she drew her shoulders together, pushing herself back onto her haunches. The radiation still barrelled at her, but now it held the potency of a soft breeze, nothing she couldn’t push past.

It wasn’t her pain, she reminded herself. And the more she thought that, the easier it became to ignore it. Soon she was back on her feet, crossing the room as easily as Kara or J’onn had made it look when they’d crashed inside.  

Nia didn’t stop walking until she was crouched at Brainy’s side. His chest was rising and falling in short, breathless exhales, too weak to draw in the air he needed. His head was tipped skyward, lips parted into a strained grimace.

At first, she wondered if this was some sort of punishment he'd conjured himself, a side-effect from all the guilt he’d been harbouring over the last few months.

That was until she realised what it was that he was holding so tightly in his arms, and how quickly he flinched away from her when she tried to reach for it herself.

“N-no,” Brainy whined, a panicked sound. He shook his head vehemently, curling even further into himself, obscuring the bottle from sight. The yellow hue it gave off was unmistakable, painting his face a sickly shade. His expression contorted again when more pain rolled through him, trails of salt staining his cheeks. “I-I can’t let go, I-I can’t let him win.”

“Brainy, it’s okay,” Nia said as gently as she could manage, sidling in closer to him. She kept her hands a practiced mark from the bottle, hovering steadfast. “You’re dreaming, okay? But I can help. Take my hand.”

Brainy whimpered, a strangled sound catching in his throat as fresh tears flooded his blood-stained eyes. “N-no,” he croaked. “Lex’ll – I can’t – or-or Kara will—”

Nia’s heart broke for him. This wasn’t about punishment; in his delirious state of mind, Brainy must have brought himself back to the moment just before Lex had stolen the bottle from him.

No matter what she’d told him back in the waking world, it hadn’t been enough to relieve him of his guilt. Not in the way he needed. But she knew this wasn’t going to help him, either.  The whispers in the air were as thick as the radiation shield itself, droning from every corner, warping into nothing but a mechanised garble.

He wasn’t going to go willingly, she knew that, and Nia was too afraid that taking him by force might make things worse.

Looked like she’d have to do things the old-fashioned way.

“I’ll see you on the other side, Wildcat,” Nia murmured, closing her eyes, losing sight of the prison Brainy had designed for himself as quickly as she’d entered.

Nia only felt a drifting impression of Brainy’s consciousness before she was back in the waking world. When she blinked her eyes open, she was inside the Tower again, with the real Brainy pressed tightly to her side.

His golden hair was slick to his forehead with sweat, his eyes skirting uncertainly behind closed lids as he muttered fretfully in his sleep. Some of the words were English, others held the mechanised characteristics of fluent Coluan. There was another language, too, one that overlapped the others, far separate from anything she’d heard him speak before.

She recognised it though, the ancient consonants that rolled from his tongue even while he was under such duress. It was the same language he’d spoken with Rama Khan. The language of the gods.

He was still bartering with Leviathan somewhere deep down, trying in his own way to fix his mistakes. But his pleas fell on deaf ears. All ears, but hers.

Suddenly, Brainy whimpered again, a sob catching him so hard that Nia worried he’d choke. He clawed at her front with weak fingers, lashes fluttering beneath layers of delirium.

She knew she had to wake him, but it was still a delicate procedure even outside of the dream realm. Carefully, Nia wound her arm around Brainy’s back, clutching the fibres of his suit, securing him against her side as she ran her free hand over his chest. Brainy didn’t fight her, instead he buried his nose into her throat, his clammy skin cold and fervid at the same time. She could feel the sting of his life projectors even from a distance, prickling across her gloves as she searched for his frequency, bringing it into step with her own.

Usually, once she’d found a target, that’d be her cue to drag them into a sleep they’d have a hell of a time coming back from. Now, she sought that power in reverse, pulling back on her usual gift so that she could dispel a dream sequence rather than enforce it. Blue energy swirled from Nia’s fingertips, coalescing with the white of Brainy’s central projector, knocking on the fragile door of his unconscious mind.

When that door creaked open, she let her energy soar, illuminating all that had been buried so that it might rise to the surface unimpeded.

She felt the tug of his consciousness before he woke, and when Brainy shot forward in the confusion that followed, Nia was there to steady him, pressing her hand reassuringly into his centre, trying to draw in on the pleasant fog that often accompanied a nap post-waking.

But peace like that couldn’t be manufactured.  

“N-n-no—” Brainy gasped, choking hard enough that it induced a coughing fit so violent he nearly retched from the strain.

Nia held him steady, worried that he was about to make himself sick. She rubbed his back, soothing him with breathless reassurances while simultaneously mapping out the closest trash can in case she needed to make an emergency dive for it.

“It’s okay,” she said, a gentle murmur in his ear. “It was just a nightmare, Brainy. You’re safe.”

But even as she said it, she couldn’t be sure that it was true. The sweat on Brainy’s brow wasn’t just a result of his nightmare. As Nia rocked in time with him, she could feel his body convulse against her with shudders that he was powerless to quell. He was burning up, his eyes glazed and fever stricken.

He was sick. Sicker than she’d ever seen him, and there was nothing she could do to take that pain away.

She felt useless.

Then, miraculously, Nia heard a creak on the floorboards and suddenly Alex’s head popped into view. Her eyes held an exhaustion that went way beyond the physical, but just seeing her made the knot in Nia’s stomach loosen. Nia shifted Brainy’s weight in her arms, holding him tightly as the coughing fit finally abated and he slouched with a groan into her shoulder. She desperately wanted to warm him with her energy, but that probably wasn’t the right call when he was already burning like a furnace against her side.

“Hey, hey, I heard the commotion,” Alex said, her expression serious as she took stock of the situation. Habitually, she rolled up her sleeves. “What happened?”

“He had a nightmare,” Nia said, trying to sound stronger than she felt. “I barely got him out of there. He was dreaming of Leviathan’s ship again, of being trapped in that room—”

Alex sighed before Nia had even finished talking, leaning heavily into the arm of the sofa. “I was afraid this might happen,” she admitted. Her eyes flickered back to Brainy sympathetically. “He’s put up a good fight so far, but that radiation did a number on him. Whether he likes it or not, those nanites are going to have to run their course.” She pressed her hand to the bridge of her nose, squeezing her eyes shut. “Damnit. I shouldn’t’ve called him to the Fortress. I just got desperate. I-I thought that maybe he could reverse the projector if we did it fast enough. That Kara—”

Her voice warbled over her sister’s name and Nia immediately reached out to take Alex’s arm, meeting her eye firmly. “Don’t blame yourself,” she said. “You and I both know he would’ve come either way.” Nia was forced to let go of Alex when a particularly harsh shudder ran down Brainy’s spine, all but immobilising him. He tensed against her before groaning out, wrapping his arms tightly around his front, obscuring the wavering flicker of his central projector.

When he was able to open his eyes again, he saw Nia first. “N-Nia?” he croaked, his voice so stricken it hurt. He shook his head, barely able to articulate himself. “You c-can’t be here—t-the radiation.”

“Hey, hey,” Nia soothed, taking his face, running her nails beneath his jaw. She drew his eyes up to meet hers. He felt so delicate in her grasp, as fragile as cracked glass. “It was just a nightmare. We’re at the Tower, remember?”

Brainy bared his teeth, his dark eyes flashing with fresh tears. He ducked his chin into her cupped palm. “B-but it hurts.”

“Oh honey, I know,” Nia said, her own eyes stinging as she let Brainy fold fully against her. His pulse raged in his forehead, beating an obscure pattern into the base of her throat. He was crying again, his tears dousing the collar of her suit, but even that was too taxing on him now. He’d slip back into restless sleep sooner or later, whether that would be better for him had yet to be proven. She looked up at Alex desperately. “Can we give him another dose of those nanites? Maybe that’ll—”

But Alex was already shaking her head. “They’re doing their job,” she said. “I know it looks rough, and it is, but I promise he’s healing, Nia. He just has to ride this out.”

Nia closed her eyes, pressing her cheek into his damp hair. “He’s in so much pain.”

“I know,” Alex said softly. She sighed, crouching down so that she could run the back of her hand against Brainy's cheek. When he didn't stir, she stood, jerking her head towards the elevator. “Look, I’m gonna get Lena’s portal watch from downstairs. It’s the quickest way to get him home so that he can sleep this off safely.”

Nia could only nod. It didn’t feel like she was even fully there anymore. A part of her consciousness had tied itself far too deeply with Brainy’s pain, maybe from the moment she’d first slipped into his nightmare.

She hardly heard Alex when she asked, “One last thing; do you know where he’s calling home these days?”

Despite that, she didn’t hesitate. “My apartment,” Nia said, wiping the tears from her eyes in an automatic gesture. She sobered as she stared at the moisture on her fingers, for a second unsure whether it had come from her face or Brainy’s. She glanced up again. “He’ll be safe there,” she explained, before hastening to add, “besides, I can’t leave him alone like this.”

Alex’s expression was warm. She glanced between Brainy and Nia knowingly, an eyebrow half raised. “Are you two…?”

“We’re figuring things out,” Nia said. As if on cue, Brainy made a soft sound against her, desperately nuzzling into her throat, a crackly hum easing from his chest. His breath was hot and welcoming, his lips brushing her skin without being fully conscious of the act. Even still, Nia felt her face warm.

“Looks like it’s going well,” Alex noted with a smirk. It was the first time Nia had seen her smile since they’d lost Kara. It was a tired smile, sure, but if nothing else, she was glad she could offer Alex at least that. Even if it did come at her own expense.

Alex winked before she turned away. “I’ll get the watch.”

“Thank you.”

Nia waited for Alex nervously, her fingers tugging gently through Brainy’s sweat soaked hair. When his eyes fluttered open again and he found her so instinctively, she kissed his forehead, letting her lips linger on his clammy skin. He tasted of salt and metal.

“Hold on, Wildcat,” she murmured. “You’ll be home soon.”

Home. The word had come out so easily, but the moment she said it, she knew it was the truth. She didn’t want Brainy anywhere else. Not tonight, not ever again. And as he sagged gratefully into her embrace, lowering his head with the barest hint of acknowledgement, she knew that he felt the same.

[steve-rambo-leaks]

ＺＩＮＥ　ＣＯＮＴＥＳＴ　（ｗｉｔｈ　ｐｒｉｚｅ）（≧▽≦）

Ｉ　ｈａｖｅ　ａ　Ｚｉｎｅ　ｃｏｎｔｅｓｔ　ｆｒｏｍ　ＮＯＷ　ｕｎｔｉｌ　Ｆｅｂ　２４ｔｈ　（ａｕｔｉｓｍ　ｈｏｌｉｄａｙ）．　Ｐｌｓ　ｒｅａｄ　ｍｏｒｅ　ａｂｏｕｔ　ｈｏｗ　ｔｏ　ｓｕｂｍｉｔ，　ｔｈｅ　ｐｒｉｚｅｓ　ａｎｄ　ｗｈｙ　Ｉ＇ｍ　ｓｏ　ｈｙｐｅｄ．　

This is for BOTH people who consider themselves artists and those who don't. It doesn't have to be a comic. A ZINE CAN BE ANYTHING :D It can be a tech tutorial, it can be a comic, it can be flash fiction, it can be a local history guide, it can be Street Fighter II Turbo strategies printed out to be left in arcades, it can be anything!

The video below explains the process better than I could probably in text (I suck at conveying thing through text). My video also has a tl;dr that I would appreciate everyone read before submitting.

There's some other stuff below, but if you're more visual, like not the reading type (like me) then feel free to skip and just head to the video description to jump in.

Also, you may know me for my "Raspberry Pis are for paypigs" video where I try to advocate for the upcycling for ewasted Chromebooks.

I've been into the idea of leaving around Zines for a while. Every time I walk into a coffee shop or local business, I think "wow, I really would wish there was something cool to read." So I started making things to put there: 8 small 2.5 inch panels, folded into one 2.5 inch square for those interested to unravel. I put them inside of these origami boxes that a learned how to make, ones with a logo printed on them.

So far I've made: a zine template (I call it a dog ear zine for some reason), a template for the box to put them in, a zine about using yt-dlp, a zine about a reindeer working IT (along with a collaborator) and (coming soon) a zine about a monster in a cave doing stuff. All of the odg LibreOffice Draw template files to make your own zines or print out mine are on my archive.org page (linked at top of my Tumblr). I'd really like other people to try this 8 panel 2.5 inch zine format, and I'm willing to bribe people with sweet, sweet Gabe Newell bucks to do it. You can submit as many zines in this format as you want. Just make sure they're printed out and have pictures of both the front and back (plus other pictures if you want) . In the video I mentioned you can use my submit page, which is probably the easiest for me to keep track of. You can also use the #dogearzine hashtag to enter. Please read the video description before entering, though (which includes Youtube's and Tumblr's terms of service, though this is more of a youtube thing).

Also, and this is completely unrelated, there's a lot more to me than just the faux-clickbait Wojak thumbnails. I like doing tech, wrestling, japanese, vidya and other videos, but I love to throw art in whenever I can shoehorn it in. Like, the video where I go over inchworm, butterfly, colors 3D and flipnote sudomemo - colors 3D on a hacked 3DS was my sister's first experience with digital at (she's moved up to an iPad and Procreate). So, it hold a special place in might heart, as a lot of the things I talk about do. I made a Whomp video because I miss Ronnie. I made a Rockbox video because I wished more people used dedicated MP3 players and knew where and how to download music. I want to help people do interesting things. And I also want to thank anyone who read all of this. You are cool. I hope everyone who's able to can compete in this contest and challenge themselves to get out of their comfort zone, to try something new! Also, also, thanks for liking these posts, people on Tumblr. You all have cool blogs. (^o^)丿

[all-things-skylanders]

How about Luz Noceda?

Luz Noceda as a Skylander!

Luz would be a Magic element skylander who uses Glyphs to fight her enemies. She'd be a glass cannon, with lots of power behind her attacks, but very little in the way of defense.

Luz is a very versatile character in The Owl House, so to make a cohesive Skylander, I'm going to approach this like my favorite Skylander: Pop Fizz. Where she's designed around maxing out the versatility of one feature: the Glyphs.

Stats:

Health: 200 (Level 1) 600 (Level 20)

Power: 45

Speed: 50

Armor: 20

Critical Hit: 60

Elemental Power: 25

Core Abilities:

Main attack - Glyphs: Luz throws a Light Glyph. The Light Glyph has a fast fire rate and deals low damage.

Starting Special - Defensive Glyph: Luz creates a flash of light in front of herself with the Light Glyph, dealing no damage but stunning all medium or small enemies.

Upgrades:

500 - Glyph Change: Luz unlocks the ability to change Glyphs by pressing the Special 2 button. Each unlocked glyph will change the functions of her Glyphs attack and her Defensive Glyph. Luz also learns the Ice Glyph. The Ice Glyph has a slow fire rate and deals medium damage, but it slows down any enemy hit by it for two seconds. When used in a Defensive Glyph, the Ice Glyph creates an ice wall that can block up to 250 damage before breaking.

700 - Plant Glyph: Luz learns the Plant Glyph. The Plant Glyph has a medium fire rate and deals medium damage. What makes the Plant Glyph unique is that instead of firing a projectile, the glyph instead creates a thorny vine that pierces through multiple enemies. When used in a Defensive Glyph, it creates two large vines that will attack any enemy that gets close and can sustain 100 damage each before breaking.

900 - Fire Glyph: Luz learns the Fire Glyph. The Fire Glyph has a slow fire rate and deals high damage, knocking back any medium or small enemies in the process. When used in a Defensive Glyph, it creates a large explosion of flame that knocks medium or small enemies back a large distance.

1200 - Quick Change: The speed at which Luz changes between her Glyphs is increased.

Upgrade Paths:

Glyph Master: Focus on the power of using Glyphs offensively!

1700 - Magic Boost: Luz's Speed and attack speed are increased by 30% while in Magic boosting zones.

2200 - First Use Boost: Whenever Luz switches Glyphs, the first shot she fires after that will deal double damage.

3000 - Glyph Combo: Hold the attack button for eight seconds and Luz will perform a four-way Glyph Combo! The combo creates a massive explosion of Light, Ice, Plant and Fire Glyphs, dealing huge damage while knocking back, slowing and stunning any enemy hit by it. If the button is not held for the full eight seconds, or if Luz is interrupted, the Combo will backfire and deal 30 damage to Luz.

Defender of the Isles: Build up Luz's abilities to go on defense with her glyphs!

1700 - Witch's Cloak: Luz gets a Witch's Cloak, increasing her Defense by 15. Her Defense will also raise by 30% while in a Magic boosting zone.

2200 - Defender Boost: The ice wall and attacking vines summoned by Luz's Ice and Plant Glyphs each gain 150 more health. The Fire Glyph's knockback is increased.

3000 - Light Dash: the light flash of using the Light Glyph's Defensive Glyph is replaced with a light dash. Luz becomes temporarily invulnerable and dashes a good distance forward, dealing very small damage.

Soul Gem:

4000 - Elementalist: Luz's Glyphs will deal 50% more damage if used in zones that boost their matching area. (Light Glyph = Light zones, Ice Glyph = Water zones, Plant Glyph = Life zones, Fire Glyph = Fire Zones)

[astragreenwoode]

The Spitfire Curse - Chapter Two

Previous: Chapter One • Next: Chapter Three • Masterlist • AO3 Version

Rating: Explicit(18+ ONLY)

Pairings:  Billy Hargrove x Fem!OC

Warnings: Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-Con, Canon-Typical Violence, Graphic Descriptions of Violence, Non-specified Mental Illness, Self-Harm, Drug Use, Hypersexuality, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms

Genre: Adventure, Thriller, Horror, Slow-Burn Romance, Angst, Hurt/Comfort. Smut, Fluff, Slight Canon-Divergence, Fix-it fic

And a special thanks to my beta-reader @take-everything-you-can! Thank you so much for all your feedback and ideas, love!

Chapter Two: Aren't You Supposed To Burn If You're A Star?

Word Count: 8275

Chapter Warnings: Disembodied Voices, Self-Deprecating Talk, Anxiety, Implied Trauma, Language, Slight Smut, Confusion, Gaslighting, Blackouts, Hypersexual Behaviors and Thoughts

Chapter Summary: Maeven remembers the first time she realized she and Billy could become 'family' as Neil sneaks his way into her mother's heart. The morning of the school tour, she wakes up and discovers she doesn't remember all that happened the night before.

April 1984

The first time I met Neil was last November. It was the first time my mom invited him over for dinner. It was more of a ‘date night’ thing, so Max and I stayed out of the way after Mom forced us to shake his hand. We spent the rest of the night in my room, gossiping about how we thought Neil would run away in one of our famous blanket forts with Nutmeg.

At this point, Billy and I had been sneaking around for six months. All I knew about his dad was that his name was Neil and he was a piece of shit. It crossed my mind that his Neil and my mom’s Neil were one and the same, but it would be a big and unlikely coincidence. When he said he had a son, I wasn’t picturing Billy. Max and I envisioned him as a preppy football kid, a carbon copy of his father. As soon as I found out his last name was ‘Hargrove,’ I freaked out and friend-zoned Billy the next day. He wasn’t very happy about it but understood. We started things up again between us after he saved me on New Year's.

My parents divorced pretty much immediately after I yelled at them that fateful day in February. Shortly after that, Dad took Lucy and Bullet and high-tailed it to San Francisco. Max and I only saw him once a month, on second-rate holidays, and for a few extended trips during the summer. He would come to see us whenever he was back in San Diego for work. Those were the times Mom couldn’t come up with a reason for us not to go see him.

Mom was still around, of course, but it was different now that dad was out of the picture. She’d always been blurry around the edges, but it was worse after they separated. She was there for us in a sort of thin, floaty way, like she was drifting away from us and we couldn’t hold onto her. My mom barely spent any time in her craft room, anymore; something she used to do every day. It felt kind of tragically magical, the way her personality got swept up in whatever new guy she was dating.

First, there was Donnie, who was on disability for his back and need my mom to be his mother for a while. Then there was Vic from St. Louis. That was really the only interesting thing about him. Gus had heterochromia; one green eye and one blue one. Ivan picked his teeth with a switchblade on our couch. They all came and went in a flash. Max and I never really minded them. They were friendly or goofy towards us. After the honeymoon phase, their true colors came out; they were either in debt, had major codependency issues, living in their cars, or constantly winding up drunk in a county jail cell. They always left, and if they didn’t, Mom kicked them out. We never got attached to them. We knew better than that; none of them could hold a candle to our dad.

Neil was different. Neil was the only one of Mom’s recent boyfriends who had brought flowers to their date. He complimented her cooking, saying it was the best meatloaf he had ever tasted. They spent the rest of the night drinking wine while listening to records in the living room.

He and Mom met at the bank, where she was a teller and he was a security guard, slowly moving up to management since he was friends with the boss. He told Mom she looked like an old-timey framed painting or Sleeping Beauty as she stood behind the glass, handing out lollipops to the kids and deposit slips to their parents. It seemed romantic, but Max found it gross; “Sleeping Beauty’s in a coma, and a painting doesn’t do any interesting shit. They both just sit there and look pretty.”

At the time, I just praised her for her keen sense of observation, and for how smart she was. I know now that I should’ve taken that comment more seriously. It didn’t occur to me that Neil saw my mom as something he could own.

The night Neil finally introduced us to Billy was a chilly April evening. He took us to Fort Fun; known for its go-kart track, arcade, mini golf course, and jungle gym. It was the kind of place guys like Neil wouldn’t be caught dead in. Dad used to take us there to celebrate the last day of school. Later, Max found out he took us there because he wanted to impress us, to make us think he was fun.

To be fair, Max and I ended up having a good time that evening. I needed a way to loosen up; a way to escape the mess my life spiraled into the last three months and a way to distract me from where I would be in a week's time.

That night, Billy ended up being late to the party. Neil said nothing, but Max and I could tell that he was seething inside. He tried to act like everything was normal, but I noticed how his hands left dents in his foam coke cup. Mom fidgeted with a paper napkin while we awaited Billy’s arrival, folding it up into little squares. Max bounced her leg and I scratched at the scars on my arms as we looked over the menu.

Max passed me a note underneath the table. We used little notebooks that we passed back and forth to send each other silent messages. We had been doing it ever since we were little; ever since she moved into the room adjacent to mine. We would slide the notebooks against the carpet, across to the other’s room, and talk in a way so we wouldn’t wake Mom and Dad. She wrote in her signature red ink; “I bet this is all a big scam. He probably doesn’t even have a son. He probably lives in a basement and eats stray cats.”

I giggled as I wrote back; “This isn’t a horror movie, Max.”

“Either way, let's keep him away from Nutmeg.”

Even though it wasn’t true, I imagined what it would be like if this was a horror movie. Mom would definitely be the first to die. But at least I could sit through this dinner without worrying whether or not the adults knew about my and Billy’s little love affair. Anything was better than watching Neil glare out at the parking lot every two minutes and then smile tightly at my mom.

The four of us were working our way through a game of mini-golf when Billy finally decided to show his face. The engine of his Camaro was so loud that everyone on the course turned to look. He slammed the door shut behind him and walked over to us, cutting straight through the mini-golf course, stepping over a big plastic tortoise and onto the fake green turf.

Neil gave him the sour look he always gave whenever something didn't live up to his unrealistically high standards. "You're late."

Billy just shrugged, not even giving his father a glance.

"Say hello to Maxine and Margaret."

Billy gave Max a slow, cool nod like she was me and we passed each other in the halls. Max smiled, holding her putter by its sweaty rubber handle. 

As much as Max and I hated this whole situation, the only silver lining she saw was getting a big brother. And as awkward as that made things with Billy and me, I wanted that for her. He had been my lifeline, my savior from everything going wrong in my life, especially in these past three months. If he could take care of her while I was blacking out and going insane, I'd gladly welcome him and Neil into the family.

"You go to Newport High, right?"

"Umm, yeah. Hi."

I couldn't deny that it hurt a little when he pretended not to know me, as if he had forgotten that beautiful thing we started last summer.

"You have nothing to be upset about, bitch. You were the one who ended things with him. And he hasn't even touched you since everyone found out what a slut you really are."

I said nothing back to it this time. Anything I would've said wouldn't have made a difference, anyway. It never did.

Later that night, Billy, Max, and I hung out by the skeeball stalls while Neil and Mom walked down the boardwalk together. The very sight of them being gooey at each other was starting to get annoying, and it made me wanna throw up. But she seemed really happy, so I just kept on taking turns with Max as we played skeeball, trying my best to ignore it. 

 Billy leaned his elbows on the railing of the boardwalk, looking out over the go-kart track from where we were above it. He casually balanced a cigarette between his fingers and turned to us as he breathed out the smoke. "So. . .Susan seems like a real buzzkill."

"Ha! You have no idea!" Max practically howled

I shrugged. Mom could be fussy, nervous, and absolutely no fun at all, sometimes. But she was still our mom.

"So, Margaret. . .Maxine. . ."

Unlike me, Max had better coping skills. She tucked her hair behind her ear and tossed the skeeball into the corner cup for a hundred points. The machine under the coin slot whirred and spit out a paper chain of prize tickets."Don't call us that. It's Maeven and Max,” she said, not breaking her eye contact from the game.

Billy glanced back at us with his signature sleepy smile.

"Well then, you've got quite the mouth on you,” he chuckled.

"Yeah, only when people piss us off,” I shot back. It definitely wasn’t the first time we heard it.

"Which seems to happen often with you, Iron Maeven," Billy’s laugh was low and gravelly. Max turned to me, confusion and awe written on her face.

"Iron Maeven?"

"It's. . .what everyone called me back at school."

I didn’t understand the reference until I listened to Iron Maiden for the first time. It was my first introduction to the metal scene; a sub-culture very prominent in California. I quickly became enamored with the genre. The unlikely harmony of music and screaming was probably the only healthy coping mechanism I had to deal with my parent’s divorce. It somehow expressed how the whole ordeal made me feel better than I could ever verbalize.

"You have a badass criminal nickname and you didn't tell me?! That’s so bitchin’, Sis! High-five!" Max exclaimed, holding her hand up. I slapped her hand as I laughed. She had gotten much more fun ever since I taught her how to swear effectively.

"Mad Max and Iron Maeven. All right, then. I can work with that."

Billy’s Camaro sat underneath a streetlamp. Its jet-blue paint job made it look almost like a scaled creature from another world; a monster. I could tell how much Max wanted to reach out and touch it. It was the same look she gave to Dad’s Impala.

As Billy turned away again, he watched the go-karts that zoomed along the tire-lined tracks. Max sent her last skeeball into the one-hundred cup and took the last of her tickets.

"You guys wanna race?" She asked.

Billy snorted and took a drag from his cigarette.

"Why would I wanna screw around with some little go-kart when I know how to drive?"

"Cause it's fun?" I challenged.

"I know how to drive, too,” Max said.

"Sure you do,” Billy rolled his eyes, not even blinking. He tipped his head back and blew out a plume of smoke. He seemed bored underneath the flashing neon lights on the boardwalk, but almost sounded friendly.

Dad taught me how to drive while Max sat in the backseat. He once taught her how to use a clutch in a parking lot of a Jack in the Box. In her eyes, that qualified her as a driver just from observing us. If she drove any way like she drove a go-kart, I’d never allow her behind the wheel.

"I do. As soon as I'm sixteen, I'm gonna get a Barracuda and drive all the way up the coast."

"A 'Cuda, huh? That's a lot of horsepower for a little kid."

"So? I can handle it. I bet I could even drive your car."

Billy stepped closer to Max, leaning down so that he was staring right into her face. He was still smiling.

"Max," he taunted in a sly, singsong voice. "If you think you're getting anywhere near my car, you are extremely mistaken." His smile never faded. He laughed at her again, putting out his cigarette with the toe of her boot.

"What about me?” I counter-offered as I leaned against one of the wooden light posts on the boardwalk. “Do I get driving privileges?"

Billy stepped close to me and leaned himself on his forearm above my head, towering over me. His baby blue orbs were bright, staring back into my ocean-colored ones. I inhaled a whiff of his scent; he smelled both delicious and dangerous like cigarettes and hair products mixed with engine oil. For a moment, I panicked. It seemed like he was about to kiss me right then and there, right in front of my sister. 

But I composed myself as he just said "I'll think about it,” and left me on the edge. I fought the heat between my legs and the urge to go rub one out in the bathroom. Maybe I’d even drag him along with me.

“No fair!”Max whined.

“It's about as fair as it gets, actually,” I laughed, tousling her hair. Billy loomed over us, studying our faces.

“You’re just a kid,” he said again. “But I guess even kids can tell a bitchin’ ride when you see one, right?”

“Sure,” Max replied.

I figured that Billy was just kidding around with us that night. It was just the way guys talked. All the slackers, lowlifes - poor excuses for men our dad hung around at the Black Door Longue down the road from his new place in San Francisco. When they teased Norman Mayfield about his daredevil daughters and teased us about boys and school, they were only playing.

But there was something new in Billy’s demeanor and the way he talked that I didn’t recognize. He looked at me and my sister like we were something to eat. I should’ve bookmarked that moment as a red flag for later, but I was dumb. I was in love with the idea of having him around more often; in love with the idea of love. And Max and I had been dumb enough to believe this was the start of something good. That the Hargroves were here to make our family whole again. Or, at the very least, okay again.

. . .

Maeven was always a heavy sleeper, often too deep in her dreams and unbothered by the world outside her mind. Her parents and sister often had to give her the extra nudge to wake up after becoming too annoyed by the blaring alarm clock that looped one too many times. Even if she had trouble getting to sleep, especially within the past 9 months, she slept like the dead.

This morning was one of those rare occasions where Maeven woke up before her alarm. The last thing she remembered was leaning into Billy's massage before passing out. However, she found her body ached more intensely than the night before; most likely due to the twisted positions she often found herself in while she slept.

It was nothing that a few stretches and a hot shower couldn't take care of. But her hair was mysteriously damp like she already showered the night before. She brushed her nape, not thinking anything of it; it was probably just sweat.

As she roused from her sleep, she felt one of her pillows in between her legs that wasn't there before. It was scrunched up like it was hugged tightly. soaked with her arousal that seeped through her panties. Maeven recalled having a couple of easy orgasms in the midst of her dreamless, dark rest. She also remembered being very scared, filled with dread, but couldn’t pinpoint why, either.

Ever since hitting puberty, she had a tendency to writhe and hump in her sleep, chasing her high in dreamland. It became more uncontrollable after what happened nine months prior. Billy must've put the pillow between her legs before going back to his own room. He was thoughtful like that, in the little ways that made a big difference.

It was a Sunday morning, the birds still singing as the cool wind blew through the open windows of Maeven's room. Maeven and Max used to wake up early every Sunday for their mother. As soon as they both completed their first communion, Susan stopped requiring her daughters’ attendance. Their Mom continued going on her own, but the two sisters got their well-deserved lazy Sunday.

Hawkins High School and Middle School started their classes three weeks ago. It was inconvenient for both Billy and the Mayfield sisters. Billy was forced to move right before his Senior Year of High-School. Max had to leave behind everything she ever knew. Maeven felt like she left half her heart in California, carrying what remained with her to Hawkins. But as long as no one found out she was an 18-year-old Junior, she’d be fine.

Coming to the party late was going to suck. The students were still getting a feel for the new school year but settled into their regular routines of classes and clubs. The blended siblings would have to go through weeks of cramming what they missed at the start of the year; enduring pressuring questions about being the ‘new kid’ and being forced to introduce themselves in each class like they were giving an oral presentation about who they were.

The next couple of days were really going to blow. Neil and Susan had already enrolled their kids the first day they arrived. Today, Billy, Max, and Maeven were going on a tour of the campus before they started classes the following morning. Maeven was the only one interested in the tour, even if she wasn't looking forward to their first day, either. It would be good to get a feel of the campus; have a way to navigate without feeling totally lost on the first day.

As Maeven’s body finally caught up with her brain, she shamelessly contorted her body with her stretches, only satisfied when her back arched and her head hang upside down. Her mind wandered to how she once made fun of her mother for how ridiculous she thought she looked striking her yoga poses. When she collapsed back onto her mattress onto her side, wincing as she felt a sharp pain on her upper-right arm. Maeven lifted the short sleeve of her sleep shirt to inspect, confused by the bandage that she didn’t remember putting on. Taking a look over herself, she saw a few more bandages along both her arms, as well as a couple on her chest.

Maeven slapped herself hard across her cheek, punishing her body and mind for acting without her permission again. She must’ve blacked out last night, or sleepwalked again. There really wasn’t a difference between the two anymore, they both ended up in the same way; with her doing things she later regretted. Whenever she was kicked out of the driver's seat, any number of bad things could happen. Last night, she must’ve cut herself amidst her blacked-out mania. Uncomfortably familiar with this scenario now, Maeven knew what must’ve happened; Billy was forced to patch her up yet again.

“Mae-Mae?”

At the sound of a knock on the door accompanied by her mother’s voice, Maeven instinctively buried herself back under her quilt and pretended to be asleep. Mom didn’t need to know about this. She thought she was getting better.

“Maevey?” Susan asked again, knocking before cracking the door open a smidge and poking her head through.

Maeven put her sleepy mask back on, moving the quilt off her face and letting out a soft moan as if she had just woken up.

“Hey, mom. . .” she mumbled, burying her face into her sheets.

“Hi, sweetie,” Susan smiled, coming over to sit on the foot of her daughter’s bed. “I thought I heard you. You’re up early.”

“My thoughts exactly,” Maeven breathed out, relieved now that her mom seemed to have bought her performance.

Susan Mayfield’s smile was contagious, annoyingly so. It had become more frequent once she married Neil. Maeven could do without her constant positivity since it wasn’t always appropriate, and sometimes even toxic. But seeing her mom happy was better than seeing her in constant misery the way she used to be.

“That’s good. You must be excited, huh?”

“That’s a word for it,” Maeven yawned out, rolling her eyes before closing them. The sun seemed especially bright this morning. Her mom stood up from the bed and asked her daughter before leaving; “Pancakes or waffles?”

Still pretty out of it, Maeven’s brain processed her mom’s words slowly as she looked back up at her.

“Huh?”

“Breakfast, Maevey,” Susan clarified, visibly puzzled at her daughter’s confusion.

“Oh, ummm. . .waffles, please,” she replied, putting on a small smile again.

“Good thing I found which box the waffle iron is in.”

. . .

While showering, Maeven always did her best not to look down at her body as she washed herself. She barely even saw her own naked figure in the mirror anymore. The closest she had ever gotten was looking at herself in her bra and underwear. Even then, she teared up looking at the many small scars that littered her flesh. The only time she felt remotely good about her body is when she was being touched by someone else. When she was touched, when Billy touched her, she no longer felt like a stranger in her own body. The way he simultaneously worshiped and used her made all the scars momentarily disappear, replacing them with tender bites and bruises no one else could see. Just the thought of it made her hand wander down between her legs. . .

Maeven slapped her cheek a couple of times at her impulses as someone barged into the bathroom. She hates herself for even feeling a little bit excited at the thought of being caught like this. The whole concept was so hot to her, but simultaneously sent a violently revolting shiver of shame down her spine.

“Max! What did we say about privacy!?” she shouted as she peeked her head out from behind the curtain. Max rolled her eyes and dramatically groaned, shamelessly pulling down her sleep pants so she could pee.

“There's a curtain separating us, Maevey! Besides, we’re both girls. Don’t get your panties in a twist.”

Maeven chuckled, closing the curtain as she washed the last of the hair products from her head.

“I’m not wearing panties, Squirt. I’m showering.”

“Okay, fine, don’t get your pubes tangled then.”

In an instant, both sisters burst out laughing. Crude jokes had become their preferred pass time once Max finally became a teenager.

“No! Nope! That is so much worse!”

“Girls?” Susan Mayfield probably waited half a second after knocking before opening the door, too curious about the commotion to consider the very concept of privacy.

“Mom! Get out!” Her daughters yelled in unison. She retreated quickly, keeping the door open enough to get her message across.

“Breakfast will be ready in ten minutes.”

“Okay, fine! Just close the door!” Max groaned. 

At the sound of the door locking shut, they relaxed. But just as Maeven lathered up her poof with body wash, Max stood up to flush the toilet as she pulled up her pants.

“Ow! Fuck!” Maeven winced and cowered away at the now boiling water shooting down at her from the showerhead.

“Shit! Sorry!” Max exclaimed. Maeven chuckled as the water now only hit her feet.

“No, no, it’s fine, you didn’t know. Neither did I.”

It really was fine. It hurt, but Maeven didn’t like hearing her baby sister sound so pathetically scared of the potential backlash.

“Won’t happen again.”

“I know, Squirt, but if I have third-degree burns on my ass by the time I’m out of here, you’re dead!”

“Yeah, sure.”

There was quiet for the next couple minutes or so as Max brushed her teeth and Maeven washed her body, her eyes still closed.

“Okay, there, it’s all yours.”

“Bye Max.”

As she stood underneath the showerhead, finally alone, Maeven let the hot water wash away all the pain. Outside, everything felt chaos, out of her control. Being closed off in a shower like this was one of the only times she felt at peace, as if she was safe and warm in the womb again. But it wasn’t perfect. She had no control over the sound in this environment; no way to block out the silence with the mixtapes from her dad on her walkman. This bathroom was too small to fit her boombox anywhere without it being in danger of being tripped on or having water splashed on it. The sound of running water wasn’t enough for Maeven to work with, leaving her brain to run wild without her permission.

“Stupid, fucking insane bitch. You’re a stupid fucking insane bitch, Maeven.”

Even though the voice came from inside her, it wasn’t her own. Whatever or whoever came to invade her head with poison possessed a tone deeper than hers. It was smooth and oddly familiar, but often scratchy and distorted. If she had heard this voice before, Maeven couldn’t for the life of her identify it correctly.

“Yeah. . .well at least I know I’m insane,” she scoffed back as she ran her soaped-up poof around her body, eyes still shut tight. “That makes me better than all the crazy people in denial of their craziness.”

“Really? It sounds worse. Like you’re on a whole new level of crazy.”

Maeven rolled her eyes back into her skull so hard it hurt. There was no winning with this voice. It always had something else to say.

“Shut up.” It was redundant at this point, trying to quiet the voice. It never shut up. It always came back, eventually.

Maeven subconsciously brought one hand to the nape of her neck to feel the bottom of her hair. It was still choppy from when she impulsively cut off her long fiery curls back in February. She never even bothered to have it evened out, even though she cut it every month to keep it from growing. She had been growing it out since she was ten, but it just didn’t feel like her any longer. 

Her other hand ghosted over her pelvis, tracing the large scar above her left ovary in the shape of a heart. It didn’t hurt when she touched it anymore, but it hurt if it was pressed on too hard. That was an improvement. Her periods were still extremely painful, no matter how well her body adjusted to the months of healing from surgery.

Maeven could still remember the exact way it felt when it was carved into her flesh.

“You know you can never wash it away, right?”

“I know. . .”

. . .

A shiver shot down Maeven’s spine as she took her meds at the breakfast table; the combination of eight different kinds of pills left a bitter taste and a horrible feeling. But she needed them to stay together, and she hated that. She was mad that her body and brain couldn’t function like everyone else’s, and that she needed pills to feel normal. It didn’t feel as bad when she took them with food or any drink other than water; the taste distracted her from the grossness of it all. Her mom’s waffles seemed to be the best of those distractions.

Billy slipped his hand under the table and gave Maeven’s hand a comforting and reassuring squeeze at her sign of discomfort.

Meals between the newly-blended family were always awkward, the silence seemingly screaming at them. Max and Maeven both practically inhaled their food, relieved to finally have a familiarly wholesome meal. They had been doing takeout for the past week while waiting for the moving truck and figuring out what goes where. Billy and his dad ate at an acceptable pace. Susan always ate fairly slowly, but would sometimes eat so slowly as if she didn’t deserve what was being served, even if she made it herself; it had been more present since the wedding.

“So. . .you kids excited for tomorrow?”

At the sound of Neil’s voice, Maeven jumped and Billy pulled his hand away from her leg.

“Not really,” Max replied after swallowing her food.

“Nope,” Billy said, bluntly.

“I’m still deciding,” Maven mumbled.

Neil said nothing to them, just laughing as he gave them that same icy stare.

“Ah, I never liked school either. But either way, I expect you kids to be on your best behavior,” he said in between bites of sausage and eggs. “This is a chance for a brand-new start for all of us and we don’t need you making things tougher than it needs to be; especially you, Margaret.”

Maeven wanted to tell him off, to tell him for the umpteenth time that that wasn’t her name. She hated it when people called her that; she said it made her sound like an old lady, which her aunt Margaret on her Dad’s side took playful offense to, It wasn’t like she was wrong. But she didn’t. And it wouldn’t have mattered, anyway. So instead, she just put on the smile she knew Neil wanted from her and said; “Trust me, I’m not looking to start anything. Just gonna try and blend in this year.”

“Oh, please, Maeven. You’ve never blended in,” Billy scoffed, leaning over to playfully shove her arm. He did it a little harder than Maeven would’ve preferred, but she said nothing.

“Yeah,” Max said with a mouthful of waffles, “especially not with that hair."

She leaned over to lightly pulled at her sister’s identical red locks.

“Ow!” Maeven laughed, slapping her hand away before giving Billy a slap on the shoulder. “Okay, I did not come here to be abused while trying to enjoy a delicious meal. You know what they say; no time like the present, guys.”

The kids turned back to their plates, but not before Maeven could return her sister’s tug.

“And it's your hair, too, Squirt."

“Maevey, Max,” Susan spoke up, giving her daughters the eyes she only gave them when she was about to lecture them or ask them to do something for her. “I picked out some outfits for you and laid them on your bed for tomorrow.”

Max dropped her fork and rolled her eyes.

“What?” Maeven looked at her mother

“Yeah, I can dress myself,” Max whined.

“It’ll be your first day in a new school, a new town. I thought you might wanna wear something special.”

“Why?”

Maeven and Max knew they should want to make their mom happy, but they sure as hell weren’t about to show up to their first day at new schools dressed like someone they weren’t.

“Oh, you know. It just seems like such a waste. You girls are gorgeous, but I never see you dress up or try to look nice. And I want you to make a good impression on those kids.”

The idea that they needed to look nice for Hawkins was laughable to Maeven and Max. But they stayed silent. Susan always did this; tried to mold her daughters into something they weren’t, especially since their dad left. Both Mayfield girls hated it. It hurt them to think that their mother didn’t like them the way they already were. Dad would never make them feel like that. But since their mother married Neil, they felt like they had to tolerate it more.

“Promise me you’ll at least take a look, okay?”

The sisters said nothing, finding their half-finished plates suddenly very interesting. They both seethed, Maeven tapping her fingers against the tabletop as Max shook her leg under the table in frustration.

“Girls, answer your mother,” Neil said, not looking up from his breakfast. It wasn’t a question, it was a demand. They knew that by now.

“Alright, Mom.”

“Okay.”

Susan gave the girls and Neil a smile before going back to her meal. But Neil had one more piece of news to report.

“Margaret, before your classes tomorrow, you’ll have to check in with the sheriff’s office this afternoon. You’ll also need to check in with the school counselor before you leave campus tomorrow.”

The words ‘sheriff’ and ‘counselor’ made Maeven’s heart-rate spike. She always had problems with the authorities. It may be surprising since her Dad was in the military, but she was scared of cops; she had a reason to be ever since she was tackled by them in the ninth grade. And she had spent more than enough time with counselors in inpatient treatment for three months. She was tired of being forced to relive her trauma, justifying her behavior, defending herself, and trying to convince people she wasn’t crazy.

“What? What do you mean?”

“Have you really already forgotten? We talked about this last week.”

She didn’t remember that conversation but nodded to her stepdad as if she did.

“Sorry. . .”

“Don’t be sorry. If you were really sorry, you wouldn’t do it.”

Maeven felt Billy rub her knee again under the table. She didn’t say anything after that. She just finished her meal as she snapped her rubberband against her wrist, trying not to think about how hard she’d fuck up her meeting with the cops this afternoon. She just wanted this part of her life over and done with. But she’d push through this; she had help. All she had to do was put up with these weekly meetings with cops and counselors for the next year, and she’d be home-free.

“You always fuck up everything, no matter what. Why would this time be any different?”

Maeven didn’t feel like eating, anymore. Even if she had those on her side who wanted to help her, it was hard to stay positive when you feel like you were a hostage in your own body, a prisoner in your own mind.

“Everyone finished?” Susan asked, standing up from the table. Maeven nearly jumped at the offer to clear the table; anything to escape Neil’s harsh gaze.

“It’s okay, Mom. I got it,” she said, taking her mother’s plate before going for the rest. As everyone left the table, she cringed as Neil passed her with his final words of the morning.

“Good girl.”

“He totally knows about you and Billy. He knows how you let him fuck you in his Camaro like the filthy little whore you are. Once mom goes downhill, he’s coming for you, next.”

“Now everyone get your things together or we’ll be late for the tour,” Susan called out from the living room.

. . .

As Maeven laced on her doc martens, she tightened the lace, one, two, three times on each foot. The bags underneath her eyes were showing no sign of disappearing. No matter how much sleep she had gotten, she always looked exhausted. Eyeliner helped, but she didn’t wanna give boys the wrong idea. She kept her aunt’s evil eye necklace hidden underneath her muted striped sweater. Neil would throw a fit about her being a ‘devil-worshipping-hippe’ otherwise. 

The outfits her mother laid out on her bed for her made her want to throw up; too many bright colors and ruffles. They were shallow Christmas gifts with the best intentions. Susan thought her daughter would look nice in them, but never considered that she wouldn’t like them. Maeven would only wear them at formal events, or mother-daughter date nights to make her happy. But she didn’t feel like she needed to do that, anymore; her mom seemed ignorantly happy, floating.

It was a lot colder today as if someone flipped the switch from ‘summer’ to ‘fall’ with a snap of their fingers. Maeven opted for her long black skirt but still slipped on her fishnet stockings and armlets. She liked the way they made her feel, and how they gripped her skin like a hug. She used to shamelessly wear the stockings underneath skirts and shorts that she got in trouble for at school. The armlets provided her with a distraction; the oddly soothing feeling she got from running her fingers against the netted fabric was a better way to cope than scratching her arms. The idea of ruining them with her bad habits was enough to dissuade her, too.

As Maeven gave herself a look over in the full-length mirror in the corner across her bed, she didn’t notice herself. She felt alright; that was all she felt when she looked in the mirror now. What she was more focused on was the night light that should’ve been plugged in next to the mirror. It had been there since the first night they moved in. Where did it go?

“Are you gonna bring him?”

“What?”

Maeven blinked, forgetting where she was for a moment and what she was supposed to be doing. The disembodied voice seemed to echo throughout her blank bedroom.

“Woodsy’s looking right at you. You gonna bring him with?”

She looked in the mirror again, finally grasping what it was alluding to. Her Woodsy Owl plush laying on her unmade bed, seemingly looking up at Maeven through his reflection in the mirror.

“Today or tomorrow?”

“At all.”

Her dad gave that plush to Maeven on her birthday ten years ago, along with a ‘give a hoot, don’t pollute’ bumper sticker she ended up sticking to the doors of her wardrobe. She had Smokey Bear and Ranger Rick to complete her set of U.S. Forest Service pals. But Woodsy was always her favorite. She had been especially reliant on him these past nine months, bringing him with her to cling to in case a panic attack suddenly came. But she wasn’t going to school then.

“I’m not gonna walk into a new high school with an old toy stuffed into the bottom of my backpack.”

“No. Don’t do that. Not to Woodsy. He’s your friend. You should walk in with him tucked under your arm.”

Maeven was almost eighteen. She graduated from inpatient therapy, she could drive, and she had a bright future ahead of her as long as she kept her shit together. Walking into Hawkins High with a childhood toy would make her the laughingstock of the student body.

As she held the love-worn owl plush in her hands, she couldn’t shake the internal need to bring him with her. But instead, she spoke back, “Why would I do that?”

“So they’d all leave you alone?”

But Maeven didn’t want to be left alone. Well, she did, but this was different. She wanted people to mind their own business and just let her be in peace. But she didn’t want to be alone at Hawkins’ High. As much as she loved Billy, she longed for her own life again.

“I want everyone out and in the cars in two minutes! Come on, let’s go! Chop chop!”

Maeven shot up from her bed at Neil’s voice, stuffing the plush into the bottom of her bag, giving herself a mental slap in shame.

It was ironic that even though her dad was the one in the military, her stepdad was the one with the drill sergeant-like attitude.

. . .

Susan, Neil, and Max piled into the family station wagon with the wooden belt, while Maeven rode along with Billy in his Camaro; the way the family always drove. For some reason, neither of their parents was suspicious or had a problem with it. Out in the open, Billy and Maeven were playful, as if they had actually been brother and sister forever.

No one knew when their attention was pointed elsewhere how much they set each other aflame with desperate kisses and electric touches. They didn’t know how much Maeven loved it when Billy showed her absolutely no mercy, how he dug his thumbs into her hips so hard they would leave bruises as he used all his strength to pound against her cervix. They’d be shocked to discover just how many times he fucked so possessively that she couldn’t remember anything the next day. But Maeven and Billy stopped caring enough to keep count.

Maeven wondered if that was how things went down the night before. It definitely wouldn’t be the first time.

“Go on. Ask him. You know he’s waiting for you to.”

She said nothing back, continuing to bounce her leg as she fiddled with her hands in her lap. But her heart stopped and time seemed to stand still as Billy pinched her skirt, hiking the fabric up her leg until he slipped his fingers under the hem to grip the flesh of her thigh. Maeven’s breath hitched in her throat, as the hum of the Camaro's engine sent a warm purr, mimicking the electricity that suddenly pulsed deep in her tummy. The memories of the time he revved the engine of his car to coax an orgasm from her made her crave another just like it. It was hard to keep her cool when her brain twisted anything and everything to appear sexy.

This is how most of their car trips alone together were spent. They weren’t always sexual, but Billy’s right hand was almost always on a part of Maeven’s body. It was his way of telling her “I’m right here. You’re safe. I promise.”

Maeven had the strong urge to close her thighs shut and wiggle her hips but mustered all the self-control she had within her to stay on task. She moved her hand over Billy’s and asked him: “What happened last night?” 

Billy shifted his focus from the road, blinking away the rush of the high he always got from the feeling of speeding on an open road.

“What?”

“Last night? When you came into my room?”

His expression didn’t change, as if she said nothing and he was still waiting to listen to her. But he did, glancing at her like she was on display.

“You don’t remember?”

“No. I woke up with new cuts, wet hair, and a wet pillow between my legs.”

Billy chuckled out a cloud of smoke as the cigarette hung from his sly smile. When he saw that she wasn’t joking or flirting, he laughed again

“Damn, Dollface, you seriously have no idea?”

Why did he have to play these games with her at the most inconvenient times?

“Tolerating him is the least you could do to thank him for taking care of you,” her internal voice reminded her. Maeven felt that she wasn’t in any position to criticize his quirks. He’d given her the same courtesy in the past.

            "I don't remember cutting myself up or showering. I sure as hell don't remember fucking my pillow,” she recounted, the missing time and context from her blackouts taunting and haunting her. She despised this. She wanted it gone, for it to be over.

“Woah, woah, calm down there, Iron Maeven,” Billy cooed at her, bringing his hand underneath Maeven’s arm to lace their fingers together, rubbing the top of her hand as he rested them atop the clutch. “I was giving you a massage, and you started humping my hand when I got down to your thighs.”

“What?”

“Yeah, you changed your mind and then climbed on top of me and we messed around for a bit. You really don’t remember that?”

That didn’t sound like Maeven. She could get caught up in the heat of the moment, sure. Then again, she apparently did a lot of things that were considered ‘out of character’ during her blackouts. Billy wasn’t the only witness to it. Her parents, sister, and friends saw it happen, too. Maeven would never forgive herself now that Max saw her so unhinged.

“You disgusting little whore. Do you really have that poor self-control?”

“No. . .I don’t.”

“I went to go and use the bathroom and get some water, and when I came back, you were cutting. I gave you one of your chill pills and helped you clean up in the shower. You’re the one who asked me to put the pillow there.”

Everything fit together perfectly. Again, she couldn’t understand why she would do these things. But if she was told a year prior that she’d eventually become a drug, self-harm, and sex addict, Maeven would’ve laughed it off. If there was one thing she learned after her parent’s divorce, it was that nothing ever really went a hundred percent according to plan.

“All you do is take. You take his love for granted and then you mutilate your body to take more of his attention.”

At the feeling over her cheeks wettening with tears, Maeven gave herself another slap across the face. She didn’t deserve to be crying. She did this to herself. As she moved her hand to slap herself again, Billy gripped her wrist to stop her. When he noticed her breathing getting heavier, he let go to lovingly stroke her fiery red locks, cradling her head in his palm.

“Hey, it’s okay. It's okay, Doll. It’s not your fault,” he cooed. “I’m sorry, I should’ve noticed something was wrong.”

Maeven still couldn’t decide if his understanding made her feel better or worse. He was so good to her, and he didn’t deserve for her to drag him down with her.

“No, no. It’s not your fault, either,” she said, wiping her eyes. “You were helping me. I’m sorry you had to do that again.”

Billy tenderly gripped her chin and turned her head to face him.

“I’ll never get tired of taking care of you, Maevey. Y’know that right?”

“He’s lying to you.”

She wanted to agree with it, to protest out loud. But his baby blues almost never failed to put her at ease. So, instead, she just nodded.

“Good. I love you,” he said, turning his attention back to the road. Maeven blinked away the remaining tears in her eyes, slipping her skirt back down as she fidgeted with her gloves

“I love you, too,” she muttered back, but she said it more as a courtesy to herself as if she could convince herself to believe Billy’s words.

“He hates you, you stupid insane bitch. You know he does. He fucking hates you.”

The ride was silent until Hawkins came into view. They figured they’d get used to the long-ish drive, and the fact that their new ‘home’ had more hills and trees than buildings. Today was not that day. But maybe it would come soon. Maeven clutched her backpack in her lap, poking at the softness of her beloved plush toy shoved to the bottom temporarily soothed her nerves.

“By the way, do you know what happened to my night light?”

Maeven wanted to mention it before she forgot again. Billy choked out a smoke-filled laugh before throwing the butt of his cigarette out the window. She wished he’d stop doing that.

“Your what?”

“The light behind my mirror? It was there last night, and now it’s gone,” she said, immediately regretting overexplaining. Billy didn’t like it when she talked to him like that; like he was stupid. He pushed his foot a little harder on the gas, causing Maeven to be pushed back in her seat by the sudden increase in speed.

“You really shouldn’t have that shit, anymore, Maevey, you’re almost eighteen. I didn’t do anything with it. Why would you think that? You’d really think I’d steal from you?”

Maeven’s heart sped up as her leg bounced instinctively. 

“No, no, no. It’s not that.”

“Keep your fucking mouth shut, bitch. Don’t push your luck.”

“You probably just got tired of it, finally. If you were that out of it that you can’t remember anything, who knows what else you could’ve done?”

Sure, it was kind of silly and childish, but the night light helped her feel comfortable and safe. She never got tired of that light. It had been in her room since she was an infant. She wanted to say ‘no;’ to tell him that didn’t sound like her. But she couldn’t say that about herself. Maeven couldn’t say anything about herself with confidence, anymore.

“You’re right. You’re right. I’m sorry,” she said. Billy forgave and forgot her little rude outbursts. Maeven didn’t. She never forgot or forgave herself. Her heart continued to beat and her leg continued to bounce as she squeezed the bottom of her backpack. Even though she shouldn’t, she felt the need to punish herself. It all depended on if the day got better or worse. And maybe Billy would get to it before she did.

“You shouldn’t have asked him about it. You pissed him off. You’re gonna have to make it up to him now, y’know? The only reason he’s stayed this long is that he feels sorry for you. And besides, you only really have one thing to give him.”

. . .

A/N: This was more of a filler chapter than anything. I'm still getting a feel for how Maeven's brain is wired and how her trauma affects her everyday life. Don't worry. Next chapter, we'll be diving into meeting all the other characters. As always, I love hearing your thoughts down below!

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[peachedtv]

Re-Fucking-Venge.

⤩ Yandere!Dabi x Nurse!Reader

⤩ Warnings: Kidnapping, non-sexual hair pulling, paraylsis, angst, drugging, profanity, descriptions of panic attacks, violence, slight horror.

⤩ Word Count: 6.67k

⤩ Synopsis: ‘Come dance with me in hell, won’t you, Father?’ And boy did Dabi fucking mean it. Poor little you to have been his next ledge to mindfuck his father to shards. 

I might continue this... I really want to... If it does continue it’ll turn into a sort of smut and publicized hostage sitch. It’s not really yandere yet,,, if it does continue it will be. 

Honestly, everything's turned into a fucking mess.

After the absolute devastation of Dabi’s theatrical exposing of Endeavour, your workplace was swarmed by furious citizens and questioning paparazzi. They were angry. So fucking angry. Angry for the fact that Endeavour had such cruel impositions on his children, angry that his actions caused the root of such a murderous villain, and angry at the fall of heroes being ironically unheroic. Day or night, their anger wouldn’t stop. The continuous flashing lights of cameras, the synchronized yelling, and the fists that shook in the air. With the mantra of harassment towards your hospital, one would think you’re caring for number one himself—the one Dabi framed as the center point for his villainous roots, the one who did most of the hurting. But, no. You weren’t caring for Endeavour. You were the main nurse for his wife, Rei. And that's what truly ticked your soul.

It absolutely baffled you. Why were such a mantra of citizens harassing a regular person? Can’t they properly think that if Dabi’s speech pointed at Endeavour, it’s mainly Endeavour’s doing? Article after article, you started to understand that many hard-luck Endeavour fans were convinced that the abuse Dabi had forsaken was all Rei’s fault.

‘She’s manipulative.’

‘What a fucking gold digger.’

‘No wonder Endeavour had to take out his anger on his children.’

Yet who was the one in psychiatric care? Are these people truly blind to the obvious victim here? It made your blood boil.

You kept Rei under your loving care for years. As someone who had their own fucked up family situation, you felt for her since her admission oh so many years ago. You knew who she truly was, and so, it made you enraged that these strangers yelled at her as though they’d known her all their ignorant lives. As if they had the entire situation figured out when even Endeavour had his own twisted narration of what happened. People believe what they want to believe, and you began to understand that. People protect what and who they wish to protect. It did not matter how morphed and wicked the twists on their perceptions may be—as long as they can justify themselves. As long as they can justify the wrong.

And so, here, Rei was not the object of the crowd’s protection. She was the embodiment of their malformed justifications. The receiver of their hatred, the one to hear the garbage and clunk of cans thrown against her window.

It’s during a time like this that you’re truly brought back. Brought back to the Rei who first arrived. The Rei who was constantly in a fight or flight response. For the first few weeks of her stay, she wore a horrid expression of absolute dread. Her eyes truly had no spark, and her body felt empty of any soul. She always looked down, her chin tucked near her chest as she zoned out into a singular corner of her room. Many of the doctors and nurses complained to the head, saying she was too much for our hospital to handle. Whenever someone merely grazed her arm while cleaning her room, she would scream out in horror—thrashing about as tears threatened to spill from her eyes. Thus, when nurse after nurse had quit being her caretaker, finally you came up to the chopping block, and you had heard a lot about her. Of course, none of which was positive.

‘She’s fucking insane.’

‘That woman makes me want to quit.’

‘Thank god I got switched out.’

‘Goodluck, Y/N, you’ll need it.’

When you first saw her, the barrier you had about yourself slipped. No, you didn’t see a manic woman, nor did you see some form of a psycho. What you saw, mesmerized you. You were entranced. She was truly beautiful. Her white hair gently framed her face, while the sunlight in her room had a cold, blue hue, that you didn’t feel was present anywhere else in the hospital. She had the aura of an apathetic beauty, a flower that was plucked - for even wilting roses had their charm. Her eyes, though, those wonderful eyes. You could tell her deep irises once held the spark of happiness, the spark of hope and care. Yet now, her eyelids hung low, dark circles beneath her lids dragging her visage lower, and her posture as an enervated slouch. It was in that moment when you first laid eyes on her did you truly see who was deep inside the shell of her abused being. She brought you back, brought you back to who you easily could have become—shown you who you would’ve been had you not fought tooth and nail against your resolves. And so, determination flared inside of you. You will help her. You will bring back her spark. No one should fight so alone against something a crowd can’t handle. Thus, even if you’re the only one by her side, you will still be there.

It had taken a couple of months for you to barely disarm her violently defensive walls, but you managed. You always knocked on her door before entering, peering through before stepping into the room. You set up a small stool by her bedside, and every time you came to her you would sit down before getting to your medicinal caretaking. You’d smile, greet her warmly, and tell her silly stories about your day. Tales of the warm old man across the hall, of those pesky UA kids that couldn’t help but fight a little too hard for others. You would go into detail after detail, eyes dancing across the empty walls as you lightly laughed at the memories or clicked your tongue at some of the peskier ones. Although she never responded, you made sure to speak to her every single time.

Furthermore, you were careful, you truly wanted the best for your patients, and she is no different. You were careful when you delicately held the flowers’ stems as you poured in fresh water. You were careful when you gently told her everything you would care for before doing it. ‘I’ll be checking your heart rate, is that okay?’ You’d smile, not even grazing her arm before a sign of confirmation. And it was these careful things you did for Rei that truly made her love you too. Soon, she began to speak. Her voice was delicate and raspy, as she hadn’t used her vocals in such a long time. But still, you smiled at her. Tears welling in the corners of your eyes as you listened to her very first request for a glass of water. Progress is progress. And you were determined to continue it.

From her vaguely written patient file, you had an idea that her husband was the main factor in her descent into your care. But, you were horrified once Rei trusted you enough to spill her heart's deepest sorrows—all caused by her husband. She cried, and oh how her tears fell so quietly it shattered a piece of you that you didn’t know was there. After she began giving you one-worded answers, to replying in whole sentences, her walls soon came down and a woman desperate for help and comfort revealed herself. It broke your heart remembering the number of overtime shifts you’ve spent merely hugging her while she gripped your scrubs. Her arms desperately clinging to you for any minuscule support, her body trembling in the fear that you’ll give up and leave her just as the other nurses did. Those silent tears fell, her muffled cries making you wish you could take away her pain if only for a minute. Every night, that was the scene between you two. And every night, flashbacks of her husband’s cruel words yelled at her from the silence only she could hear. Not only as a nurse, but as a human being, you truly cared. And Rei could feel that sincerity, thus, you two grew close.

Even after Rei exponentially improved, you still tried your best to give her some kind of comfort she could cling to in the emptiness of the hospital’s blank walls. You were so proud of her. She came so, so far in her healing process. And your soul smiled at the thought of her gentle nod whenever you entered her room—she had the misfortune of a hundred lives, and didn’t deserve a single crumb more of difficulties.

So why did fate have the tv running that day?

You ran to her room, the blaring of her EKG racing your mind with worry. It had been long, too long, since her heart raced so. You had gotten used to her health, to her improved state, so how the hell did this happen? When you burst through the door, Rei was slumped on the ground with her hand clawing into her chest as she hyperventilated, her eyes wildly ajarred as her gaze stuck to the screen with tears swelling the corner of her ducts as her lips fell apart in these broken attempts of communication.

'-was born as the eldest son of Endeavour.'

‘Rei! Breathe, breathe, I’m right here for you. Please, what happened?’ You held her comfortingly, rubbing your palm in circular motions upon her back. God, how did this happen? Sorrow wretched your soul when she began to cry harder, frantically looking from the floor before her and the screen upon the tv. She shoved you away with as much force her could muster, you stumbled slightly back, in absolute shock. It had been a while since Rei had a any miniuscle of violence in her outbursts—let alone having an outburst in the first place, and it broke your heart to wonder why it was happening. You could tell her conciousness was slipping from the rapid breaths she choked to take, how her movements became more sluggish. She began to scream, her hands tangling into the hair on the side of her head as she knelt with her face to her knees. You reached into a nearby cabinet, taking a deep breath as you thrashed around the contents until your fingers wrapped about a minor sedative. It pained you, you haven’t had to go to such measures in so long. Your hand firmly on her shoulder, you told her everything was going to be alright before injecting the sedative and keeping your comforting words. 

'I was created for my father's selfish dream.'

‘It’s okay, I’m right here. Don’t worry about a thing, Rei.’ You spoke gently, and her eyelids began weighing down to shut, before she looked deep into your eyes and whispered: ‘T-tell him I’m sorry.’ Your eyes followed her as she tried to look towards the tv. Upon the screen, a man was sitting upon a vintage couch. Throughout his body, horrid patches of purple plastered his skin, barely holding onto his stature with the use of staples, you could see the dip in his surviving skin and the bruised purple from the awful staple job on his body. It looked so painful your skin tingled in discomfort. With such a blatantly iconic look, how could you not recognize the man himself? Dabi. His hair was a messy black, his chin picked up toward the camera, and a darkened gaze of determination and resentment filled his eyes—a stare that would pierce the soul of any viewer.

'-my father would force my mother to give birth to more off-spring.'

How long had his voice been playing in the background? You stared, stared at the TV. You listened, listened to Dabi apathetically recall every horrifying detail Endeavour put his pitiful children through. The same details that had you shaken to insomnia at night when you first heard it through Rei's exasperated cries during her mental break downs. It was awful, Endeavour's actions were horrid. The neglect, the abuse, his cold demeanour, hearing both Rei and now Dabi recount those awful memories made you realize just how cold the air about you became as well - a sudden contrast as though your physical environment darkened from the heavy words Dabi spoke out about. You felt their pain, but you know you could never truly understand it. Not until you had gone through something the exact same, and even then, everyone processes trauma differently. Thus, empathy is such a golden key. The very key that had your shocked visage brim with tears. There wasn't a hint of pain in Dabi's voice, not yet, at least. Yet, you knew that years before, and deep inside his battered body, Touya was will trapped. Crying, begging, trying to crawl his way out. You saw a reflection of Rei in Dabi. The reflection of someone who was in pain but built these sky-high walls to hide any form of vulnerability.

‘Using the blood Endeavour left at the fight in Kyushu,’ his hand propping up a document, ‘there was a 99.99% match.’ 

Truly, it took a while to understand what you heard. Your eyes carefully traced the screen, ears perked up in denial as Dabi described every moment that Rei had described to you. Endeavour, the pain, the abuse, the screaming, the yelling. He recalled it with an absent look of apathy glazed across his face. His eyes reflecting that of an apathetic beauty. A look you recognized from the Rei who first walked into your care. If it weren’t for his unforgiving injuries, he would have been a splitting image of his mother. As you gazed upon his grotesque features, his lips mouthed the same name of the son who Rei prayed so desparately for the return of.

Yet you don’t think her prayers were answered in the best way.

You stared holes into that screen, watching his careful movements, scanning the paper Dabi held in his hands, as you watched his mouth moved it was in that moment that you realized you couldn’t hear. A ringing was blaring in your head as the only sensory you had left was that of sight. Your vision tunnelled, the sides of your perception clouding into black as you silently watched Dabi continue to expose that wretched hero who caused his dear family such tremendous misfortune. Dabi was the same Touya Rei cried to you with gulit over for all these years. The same Touya whos only remains found was a jawbone from the burning forest he died in. The same Touya who fell apart for the sake of his father’s dreams.

How isn’t he dead? It didn’t make any sense. His jaw, how was his jaw found without the rest of him? How had it come off? How did he survive the temperature of those flames being enough to cremate someone alive? Your eyes watched the screen, watched Dabi’s speech continue, that ringing spiking a headache of throbbing pain. Nothing made any sense. And you put your everything into focusing upon the scarred man on the screen so why did this have to happen? Rei was doing so well, it’s not fair, why did this have to happen? She doesnt deserve this to happen she had trued so fucking much. She didn’t deserve this, she was barely healed–

‘Miss Y/N! Is Mrs. Todoroki okay?’ 

Your coworker’s voice snapped you back into reality, and you stammered an apology before carefully placing Rei into her bed and turning off the tv with shaking hands. From the expression on your coworker’s face, you could tell they saw the footage aswell, their eyes nervously tracing to the ajarred cabinet door to the sedatives, understanding the regress in Rei’s stability from this entire situation. 

Sadly, Rei’s instability wasn’t as fleeting as you had hoped. It didn’t take long for Rei to fall apart into the hole she fought so hard to climb out of. With the mantra of angered ex-Endeavor fans accusing her of child abuse, along with the constant paparazzi that flashed bright lights toward her window and posted her tear-struck face all over tabloids, you couldn’t blame her. For days after the incident, you refused to sleep. Staying by her side as she couldn’t rest at all. Although a hospital never sleeps, it still quiets at twilight. But no, not anymore. For even night didn’t tire the fucking protestors. They screamed out, police desparately trying to control the situation, although they were smart. Hugging the gates, not actually on the property of the hospital. Thus, the police couldn’t pull any legalities on them. 

You never left the hospital anymore, every break and after your shifts, you would sit at Rei’s bedside. The aura was both somber and panicked, darkened with the occational sniffles and choked sobs of Rei’s rasped voice. Unlike the usual, you did not speak. You knew the voices in her head had come back now, and if you added your own, Rei wouldn’t be able to hold out any better than she already is. So, the only thing you knew to do was to never leave her alone, and her arms never left your back. You held her in an embrace every night, neither of you sleeping, neither of you talking. Slowly, she began to loosen her hold, gently sleeping a couple minutes a night with her chin resting on your shoulder. Your heart lit with hope, glad she could finally sleep a wink. Before long, she was truly able to fall into a decent slumber, her body resting against yours for a couple hours before she would gasp awake. Slowly but surely, improvement had come. And once Rei’s sleep schedule returned to some extent, you traveled back home to your apartment for the first time in over a week to gather your own well-deserved rest.

You wish you could say your return brought some comfort to you. But truly, the silence was eerie to say the least. Your mind was still worried. Worried that Rei would wake up in the middle of the night, all alone without you there. A part of you missed her already, but your boss became truly worried for your health after the bags under your eyes darkened into a bruise like hue. She demanded you at least go home for a night, and you relented. Truly, your body was giving up, and you needed the rest too.

Your keys twisted inside the lock as you pushed the door open, a familiar creak welcoming you back. You did not feel very welcome. The air was a piercing cold, with all the lights in your apartment off. The fact that it was late into the night did not help, with both an absence of light in your home and no twinkling stars to gaze upon. Everything was pure dark. You sighed, dumping your bag lazily by the door as you kicked off your shoes, taking heavy steps toward your room when you stopped. You stood still, so, so still. From the crack below your closed bedroom door, light bled into the dark hallway. You were scared, truly. You never leave the lights on before leaving, so what was happening here..? Why were the lights on?

A sense of dread filled your body, and you listened carefully. Nothing. No rummaging, no gentle thumps of someone’s steps, just the rays of light dauntingly brightening the floorboards and that white noise of ventilation. Quietly, you walked backward toward the front door, taking shaky breaths as your lungs quivered. You should’ve stayed with Rei. You shouldn’t have come. With how little sleep you had gotten, your mind felt as though you were floating. And obviously, you struggled to form any kind of rational thought about your current predicament. Despite that, you did have one thought. The thought that you must leave. Immediately. You didn’t care for your belongings, your jacket, nor your shoes and keys. All you cared for was to get the fuck out. 

Every pore on the wall felt as though an eye was peering through, watching your pathetically fearful movements. Shivers spiked down your spine and every dark crack of any open door had an imagined silhouette peering through, faces tauntingly smiling to you through the dark. You were panicking.

Your hand gripped the knob, turning it slowly to stiffle it’s persistent creaks before you flung open the door to bolt outside. Your mind raced, breath hitching as steps slapped upon the cement. As you approached a corner, you turned your head back as you kept running—fully expecting the door to fly open and a figure to chase behind you. You couldn’t imagine why you had to have some burglary occur. You didn’t live in an exceptionally poor or rich area, and there were blatant security cameras throughout the building. The more you watched your back, the more you felt a little silly. Nothing came, and you nearly slowed down your bolt as a light chuckle of relief fell before your mouth. You’re safe, your apartment was safe. There’s no threat in your room, obviously, you must’ve forgotten to turn off the lights. You turned the corner as your bolt slowed into a jog. Yet, your momentary relief was short-lived the moment you roughly crashed into something in front of you.

You fell back, falling hard onto your ass with your palms scraping against the unforgiving texture of the floor. Gravel stung, digging into your open skid marks. Athough, that pain was nothing compared to the strike fear over who stood before you. 

The very man upon your tv screen those days before.

The very man who single-handedly wrecked the top two heroes.

Dabi.

He looked down at you, a sickened gaze and smirk plastered over his graphic features. He looked manic, and he was manic. The way he demeaningly leaned down to you, hands dug deep into the pockets of his black slacks, the way he cocked his head to the side, it all made your throat starkly dry. 

‘Why the long face, Y/N?’ You internally gagged, your name sounded so vile on his tongue, in the way his face stared at you with hatred. How does he know your name? What does he want? You stared up at him speechlessly, your jaw falling silent and eyes dropping wide with horror. Your mind raced in confusion. Jumping from one false hope to another, trying to relieve your fear that you might not survive this encounter. Your only connection with Dabi was as the nurse of his mother, was he extrapolating some revenge against her? But why? Endeavour had been the main perpetrator of the abuse, so why are you being dragged into this so mercilessly? You couldn’t think clearly, but you did know one thing. Both of you well knew Rei had barely anything to do with the harm Touya had endured. Yet, here he was. Newly born as Dabi, as the Dabi who stared down at you as though you coddled his worst enemy your whole life.

His hand shot toward your collar, the fabric ripping at certain ends from the sheer force he used to drag you closer to his face. Your hands grappled at his wrist, fingertips digging into his hand before your force hesitated when you latched right onto his staples. You were scared. You were really, really scared. The way his smile grew wider in response to those pathetic tears that welled in your eyes, the way he held you so tightly your windpipe felt as though it was burning in pain. You felt misjudged. Thrown into an undeserving cruelty that you hadn’t even sinned enough to deserve. But obviously, why would a villain care about whether or not you deserved their violence?

‘Why are you so scared? I’m only here to thank you.’ He quirked, eyes wide as he laughed at your pathetic expressions of fear and struggle. ‘You won't die, so don’t be too dramatic.’ He smiled, yet, you didn’t feel comforted. Heck, a part of you here realized how much you wish you could’ve died at this moment. Was living through whatever he was about to put you through better than hell itself?

‘You took care of my dear old mom ever since I left, comforting her all those nights, helping her recover from Mr. Number One.’ His grip tightened, your collar bunching up into his palms, harshly wheezing your throat as you struggled to breathe. You knew no amount of fighting back was going to drain him down to stop. Dabi had you stood completely upright, right up on the tip of your toes as he held the majority of your body weight up by your neck, still leaning forward to truly yell into your face. Even without the threat of his quirk, you’d never stand a fucking chance against him with how he towers over you. You could tell of the venom Dabi had in his recalling of your care as his mother’s nurse, his pupils dialating in fury. Had he felt things were unfair? That he hadn’t had the help Rei needed when he felt so much worse? You tried to be empathetic, trying to find a way so you could make it out alive. But the more Dabi tightened his hold on you, the more you realized you wouldn’t be getting out of this unscathed—far from it, actually.

‘I’m here to repay you. You know? You spent so many years caring for her, so I’ll repay your act of kindness.’ His voice dripped in sarcasm, venom seeping through as his spat out to you right in your face. Suddenly, his expression morphed, his smile churning so wide the staples holding his smile  together began to rip at the corners of his mouth. ‘You know, that stupid woman isn’t the angel you keep treating her to be. Haven’t you seen little Shoto Todoroki? How do you think that scar on his precious face came to be?’ Your breath hitched as his grip tightened, your throat completely wrenched into his lone palm as heat began radiating through his fingers. Don’t listen to him, you told yourself. Rei messed up. She’s wasn’t the best mother. But no one helped her victim until she became the abuser. Shoto didn’t deserve that, neither did Rei deserve the cruelities of Endeavour, and nor did Touya deserve a crumb of the pressure he underwent. Can’t he understand that nearly everyone in this situation is some form of a victim? You felt frustrated trying to hold your tongue back against this man. He was blinded by rage, a rage that began rationally and morphed into something villianously sinister. It made you feel frustrated. He pitied himself too much. Everyone was struggling, Shoto and Rei too, so why was he so upset with you helping someone who needed to be helped?

‘You people disgust me. You save whoever the fuck you want, but leave the people who really need it out to burn up in a forest.’ You shook your head, shutting your eyes tightly in denial to his cruel accusations. You wanted to yell. Yell how stupid his words were, how tunnelled his thinking was. Dabi is being selfish. Yet, despite your anger, you were still striken with fear. You understood you were in no place to speak your mind, yet your words just spilled out in a frenzy.

‘You’re so linear.’ You said shakily, furrowing your eyebrows and trying to wrench your windpipe out of his grip so you could just barely breathe. ‘Rei was hurt too, she’s n-no angel, but she’s not such a demon either.’ You spoke quietly, but considered how you were choked up into the air it was remarkably impressive you could even get a peep out. Dabi seemed to only become amused, an upset form of amusement. Tears streamed down your cheeks, mainly from the physical agnoy, but moreso now that his palm began to luminate blue and heat up.

You were going to die over your fat tongue.

Your crying only seeming to fuel him even more as his smile ripped even wider. ‘I’m sorry— I didn’t mean it badly–‘ You panically wept. His eyes narrowed, a sense of absolute euphoria over the position of power he had. He felt so cocky, you know? He just ruined two of the top heroes’ careers and now he’s taking away the only support and comfort from his shitty mom. His revenge has just fucking started. He nonchalantly dropped your body onto the floor as he adjusted to stand straight. You crumbled to your knees, your hands flying to your throat as you wretched and coughed out. Your neck was painful to the touch, throbbing as you felt the bruise of his grip develop. Suddenly, he knelt down to one knee, looking at you with an unimpressed expression. 

‘Don’t be so fucking dramatic. Be grateful you’re alive.’ He spat, his tone unforgiving. You sobbed, trying your best to sniffle your crying as you bit down on your lip and shut your eyes tightly—too stuck in horror to look at whatever the fuck your current situation was. From the fear of death you just had, you nearly wanted to thank him for sparing your life. Your hands violently shaking as you refused to look up to him, parts of you begging that this was all some bad trip. Suddenly, he laughed. He began to laugh, growing louder and more insane. You stopped breathing, opening your eyes to see him heaving in absolute exhilaration. 

‘Don’t do that,’ He was profoundly euphoric, ‘you’re reminding me too much of how I cried to dear old Endeavour. What, are you trying to send me down memory lane?’ He finally calmed down a little, smiling at you as you knelt before him, fucking speechless. Your relief was immediately drowned out in the panic of what he was trying to do. He reached out, shoving his thumb into your mouth and forcing your jaw open. Taking his other hand, he forced two fingers down your throat without a shred of care. You gagged, grabbing his wrist and digging your nails into his skin as you felt a pill sink into being forced down into your body as he kept his fingers deep in your throat. Eyes wide as you tried to fight him off, jaw stiffening as you prepared to bite down on him. He stared you down warningly, his breaths deepening and hand warming on your jaw. You sobbed, relenting and loosening your grip on his wrist, shutting your eyes tightly. You felt a tear gently trickle down your cheek, it felt warm against your face. But not as warm as the threatening hand on your neck that wouldn't hesitate to burn. Dabi let go, standing up as you coughed out, feeling the pill stay stuck deep in your throat as you tried your best to ignore it. He lazily dragged his hand across your face, wiping your spit off his hand. You started to cry. Sobbing as quietly as you could as you heard. You could tell he was truly annoyed, clicking his tongue as he took heavy steps away from you - but still keeping a close enough distance to burn you alive if you tried to run away. You felt frustrated. What had you done to deserve this? What did he drug you with? Your panic made you hallucinate awful symptoms of the pill. The world began feeling dizzy, your head becoming light, ad your thoughts racing drunkenly. Although, rationally, you knew that you hadn't even digested the pill yet, so you tried your best to calm yourself down before the pill's effects would truly take place.

You didn't realize Dabi had taken his space between you two to take a quick call until he hung up, shoving his phone deep into his pocket before he looked back to you with a bored expression. 'Are you done crying?' He was annoyed. From the expression of apathy and boredom on his face, he resembled a tired dad sick of his children throwing a tantrum over every little thing. The way he looked down at you felt demeaning, and you felt your body shrink a little down into the core of your bruised heart. You wanted to stand up, your legs numb from being forced down to kneel this entire time. Yet, the fear you held over being burnt from any sudden movement kept you scarily still.

'Get up.' There wasn't a shred of care in his voice, but from the way he tangled his fingers in your hair, dragging you forward by it until you were knelt up awkwardly by his side like a dog, you weren't surprised by his verbal violence. Let alone his physical violence. You grabbed his hand, trying to ease the burning pain against your scalp. It felt as though your hair would rip from the root if he pulled just a little harder. Your eyes darted around, confusion to why he propped you up to him so closely. Was there some threat? Was something about to happen? You felt your heart pounding through your blouse, so loud it resonated inside your head. But, it didn't matter how much your scalp burned in pain. It didn't matter how your palms were still scraped open from your initial fall. It didn't matter how you had roughly fifteen minutes before that pill would digest. What did matter was that by the end of those fifteen minutes, you needed to be away from him and whatever he had planned for you. As though Dabi sensed your change in mood from fear to determination, his hand began to heat up.

'If you want to die, go ahead and try what you want. If not, stay down like the trash you are.' You felt the hope you built up crumble, maybe it was from Dabi's words. But mainly, it was from the literal crumble of the ground and roads in front of your apartment building. The way the earth caved in on the infamous stone-like creature that bulldozed through half of Japan—Gigantomachia of the League of Villians. His body was confined down so his brutish face was mere feet away from yours. His eyes were a glinted yellow, so much so they didn't resemble eyes in the slightest—moreso like large fragments of amber-filled or gold his sclera. You watched in horror as large rubbles of the road slipped down Machia's spikes, cracking their area of impact once they fell. Light after light turned on in your neighboring apartments, people opening their doors with pissed-off expressions darkened with eyebags. Looking to curse out whatever fool decided to make such a loud fuss in the middle of the night. Unsurprisingly, as the beast merely turned his head in their direction, and person after person ran out of their homes in wide-eyed fear.

Dabi rolled his eyes, unimpressed at their pathetic attempts at an escape. He raised his palm, flames bursting out from the center as screams of pain erupted. You stared in horror as the people you'd politely smile to every day burnt up before your eyes. You didn't plan it. Your arms reached up and grabbed Dabi's forearm to pull it down into our chest. You cringed when the flame lightly skimmed your shoulder, yet our grip on his arm remained iron. You refused to let people die right in front of you.

'What the fuck are you doing?!' He yelled, his flames dissipating as you watched a minuscule bunch run away safely. Dabi shoved you hard into the ground, glaring down at you in absolute annoyance. Yet you returned his glare, looking up at him with resentment. 'Fine, you wanna die? Go ahead.' He aimed his palm in your direction, a twinge of flames hurling out. Without a doubt, you were scared. You were scared of dying, scared of never seeing your loved ones again, and scared of the sorrow your death would cause. You hadn't had the impact you wished to have yet, yet here you were, about to die before barely making a dent of meaning in your life. But in that fear, you felt angry. Angry that you were being relentlessly harmed over helping someone who needed it, angry that Dabi would mercilessly burn the innocent without hesitation, and angry that he was mad at you over trying to save them. He was so unreasonable.

'God! Can you quit it?! I understand your pain, and I understand where you're coming from. But those people aren't Endeavour, Rei, or whoever else you hate! They didn't do anything to deserve being killed over, just like you didn't do anything to deserve what you went through as a kid. So why are you hurting them?!' You glared at him, adjusting your posture so you were sitting upright, a hand soothing the blistering burn on your shoulder. His flames fizzled out, and you saw his eyes widen. He was silent, still. As though for both of you, time stopped. You heard desperate steps fade away into the background, rubble from Machia falling upon the grass, and the sizzles of Dabi's flames eating away the fresh corpses that littered the scene about you two. His expression was apathetic, you couldn't read him. Yet, you felt his mind racing, before his palm picked up and slapped you, hard, right across your face.

'You understand me? Is that what you fucking said?' He was absolutely livid. You could hear the absolute anger in his voice, yet a soft smile spread across his lips. Your cheek felt stung, warm, and you were absolutely speechless. For some reason, him slapping you across your face felt more painful than the burn on your shoulder and the scrapes on your palms combined. It was the way he looked down at you. Down at you with absolute fury, as though you were a senseless fool. 'Don't you dare say you understand me when you haven't gone through what I did.' You could tell he wanted to kill you in that moment. You flinched when he reached out to you, expecting this to be your final moment. Instead, he threw you over his shoulder and jumped onto Machia's back, being dragged away to god knows where. You looked up to his face, catching a glimpse of his thumb wiping a droplet of blood from the corner of his eyes before wiping it onto his sleeve. Did he become injured? Or was that a common occurance? Truly, you shouldn't care. He had just battered you, violently dragging you upon the back of a rocky beast, and yet here your nursing instincts slapped you across the face to anaylze his aid.

Quickly, your brief confusion, or worry, for Dabi fell apart as you realized your legs couldn't feel the aggressive breeze of the wind against it's skin. You fought to move, to adjust your stature, yet you felt as though your nerves were burning, fighting against an invisble force that kept you scarily limp and still. Your heart began to pound in your chest, heavy breaths shaking your lungs as you nearly began to weep over what awful drug Dabi had foresaken onto you earlier. You felt constrained, uncomfortable, a distant tingle of pain tracing about the entirety of your skin as you tried to fight the stunt in your lower half. Your legs. Your legs were paraylzed. Your mind raced a mile a minute, heart dropping deep into your stomach. This isn't fair. It's not fair. You felt as though your life has fallen so far you couldn't even hear it's impact on the floor so down below. No resonating echoes, nothing. And that nothing was not at all what you deserved. You hand quivered, tracing across your shin to your thigh. It felt as though you traced your hand on another body, or a piece of your body that was no longer attached. You were disturbed, trying to keep your sanity together as your temples and eyes burned with frustrated tears. It wasn't until a tear hit your thigh, and you didn't even feel it, did you truly begin to break down.

Everything is a fucking mess.

[sonorous-strings]

(Warning: LONG AS SHIZ)

"This is Maria Notte with a special, exclusive interview with the rising musical star of Shang Mu: Sonar." (Huh. That sounds almost anticlimactic without a last name, doesn't it? Isn't he married? He should have one, right? Oh, that wasn't picked up was it? We can edit that out, right?)

Sonar was finding it difficult to settle into his chair properly. He'd done interviews before, but not when he was... this big. It was usually just as a plus one, joining in on a joke here and there. And certainly not after having just gotten back from his honeymoon and practically dragged to an interview with the reporter that seemed to be on the screen whenever anything of import happened. He decided to try to just sit still, find a comfortable position naturally over the course of the interview.

And tried not to grimace at the side comment. She raised a couple of valid points, there. Was his name officially Sonar (or... ugh, Sonorous) Tea now, since he technically didn't have a last name prior? There was a flash of uncertainty there, as he found himself rolling the name around in his head, getting a feel for it. It wouldn't sound too awkward or anything, would it? He'd had so much fun with Carol, just him and her cavorting about who knows where that he'd never really thought to bring that up apart from the couple of quips they traded, Corazon included, in the weeks leading up to the honeymoon.

He didn't think they could get any closer, but somehow, during the course of the honeymoon, they did.

He'd probably never be as close as Lilac was to Carol (barring Lilac's lingering pain and regret over the road not taken), but that was okay. Theirs was a special kind of closeness exclusive to them, and Sonar had his own. He was okay with that. But that time together... if he could just disappear with her forever, he would in an absolute heartbeat.

She need only say the word at this point.

Oops. He was zoning out again. He blinked, caught himself as Maria finished her opening spiel, talking about Sonar and his accomplishments, yadda yadda... hm. Carol's rubbing off on him. He kept the smile to himself- it was amazing at how much one could go through in his head in just a few seconds. Maybe it was easy because of the subject material. He settled back in his chair and put on a slight, confident smile, a toned-down version of the one he'd put on while on stage.

"So, Sonar- can I call you Sonar?"

"Sure." He wasn't sure why she'd ask, but hey, he'd humor her.

"Sonar. Let's start with... well, how famous you are. You're practically on par with Tunder Lilin these days! How'd you do it?"

Oh, good, a somewhat easy question to answer. Well, one he had an idea with which to answer, anyway. "Well, Maria, to tell you the truth I'm not really sure exactly how I did it," he said with a shrug. "I think I just got lucky, truth be told. I started small, just working out of a little apartment all the way over in Shang Tu, just banging out songs here and there, doing covers, doing something of a portfolio while making it worthwhile for myself at the same time so that when I landed something big, I'd at least have something to show them."

"Oooh, so you just sorta built yourself up to everything? That's a real rags-to-riches story, right there!"

"I guess so, yeah. It was fun showing my friends the stuff I was coming up with, too. I like to think some of them enjoyed the whole creative process."

"Did you write any about Carol?"

"Of course! What kind of musician would I be otherwise? I've written a couple for her, one I actually played a few months ago for its debut. I think a lot of people liked it. Was a little different from my usual stuff, of course, but it's nice to shake things up a bit sometimes."

"'All We Need', right? That was a sweet song. Should've guessed that was for her. Speaking of Carol, how'd you two meet, anyway?"

Sonar couldn't help but laugh. "That's, uh... a hell of a story." He couldn't exactly tell Maria (and the rest of the world, for that matter) that he wasn't from Avalice, aliens being a sore spot with the Three Kingdoms and all. "We met in a park, and because I happened to look like someone else, she wanted to kick my butt," he said, as usual unable to keep the smile off his face as he recalled their rocky start. "She was able to deduce pretty quickly I wasn't who she thought I was, and the rest is history. What a hell of a way to meet your future wife, though." Every now and then, he thought, a moment of panic would set in. What if they hadn't cooled off when they did? What if Carol hadn't thought of trying to trick him with her scarf and its meaning?

"Before all that stardom hit, right?"

"Oh, way before. I was a nobody trying to figure out where to hit before taking off. Carol was the one that helped me to keep going on. Everything changed after we met, and I owe her pretty much everything. And besides, a boyfriend's gotta impress his girl somehow, right? I might have started out as 'That Guy with a Guitar', but she certainly didn't seem to mind, even before we got together."

"All the broken-hearted girls want to know- pardon the joke- is what is it about Carol?"

A little personal, but... meh, if he was writing songs for her and publicly showing them off, it wasn't too much of a stretch to ask. And Carol's infinite jealousy whenever any other girl was near him sans her friends and Corazon would make some funny ammunition later on down the road for when she would tell someone to back off. "She saved me, even if she didn't know it at the time. I don't think I did either, until I looked back months later. But that's only part of why she's such an amazing girl. Name me anyone else with that much confidence, that much energy, all wrapped up into this kind-hearted ball of green fur that can kick my ass if she wanted to." He held up a finger. "You can't. Probably. Even when we first met I could tell something was different about her-" besides the fact that being an actual alien on Mobius was difference enough "-and eventually I was ecstatic to know she kind of felt the same way I did!" He smiled wide. "She can do anything. Succeed anywhere she wants. And she's really fucking cute- oops, sorry."

"Don't worry, we'll edit that out."

"Sound effect censors are hilarious, so I hope you use one of those. But yeah. It's just... I don't even know if I'm making sense. I can talk about Carol for ages (though I haven't tried... yet), and sometimes I can't quite put into words well enough what it is about her. Especially when we fight- whoops, not that kind of fight," he quickly corrected after a pause following the word "fight" as it sunk in how weird that would sound. "I can fight, kinda, I've got this sweet guitar club thing one of my friends made that I can fight the robots here with alongside Carol. But I still can't hold a candle to her. Again, amazing."

"She's awfully lucky to have someone like you head over heels for her. Maybe we should interview her and ask her the same about you some day! But let's move on- we do unfortunately have a time limit, here. So before all that, before you met Carol... who was Sonar?"

Ah, jeez. He kinda figured an interview about The Man, the Myth, the Legend (okay, not really, but it was fun to joke) would turn to stuff he probably didn't want to talk about, but people were sure to find out anyway. "A nobody," he said, rather plainly, causing Maria to blink, as if she thought that's all he was going to say. But then he continued, "I was a guy that... well, wasn't going anywhere." His eyes fell and his earlier excitement seemed to dwindle as he recalled the now -seemingly distant pasts. "I'd been trying everything I knew just to make ends meet at that point. I didn't really have a family by the time I was on my own. Both of my parents were gone soon after I'd moved out. I had a sister but... well, she passed away a few years before that. So while I was trying to achieve my dream, I'd ended up mostly spinning my wheels, making bad decisions and kinda digging myself deeper into a hole." He sighed. "Aside from that, I was pretty much the same person you see sitting before you. Big into video games and those flavored triangle tortilla chips that are really bad for you." He forced a grin back into his expression, trying to escape the dourness threatening to overtake the atmosphere. It worked, thankfully. "A lot of it wasn't stuff I was aware of at the time. But, back to Carol, that was basically my turning point for everything. Even as friends, we were inseparable and all that." Maybe that was because she was his only friend on Mobius, but... details and all.

"I think a few others have had similar experiences... things that weren't going well before they hit that big break. It's kind of hard to imagine not seeing you being plastered all over the Battlesphere these days!"

"Yeah, that was a big surprise. I was actually approached by Mayor Zao- well, not Zao himself, but you know what I mean. He'd heard my playing somehow and wanted me to play for the Battlesphere. Doing live music for the events and battles and whatnot. Carol competing while I was there was fun. I may have been a little biased then. You could definitely hear that during her Spade fight. I couldn't help but troll her opponents a little every now and again. And I get to use the stage for shows! It's basically a dream come true for me all around."

"Before we wrap this up, what's next for Sonar? Or Sonar and Carol, for that matter?"

Sonar had to think on that one. And yet... he couldn't think of an answer. "Would you believe me if I said we kind of haven't thought that far ahead?" he said, almost sheepishly. "We pretty got back from our honeymoon pretty recently, and we're kind of settling down into this new routine of just... being married."

"Oh." The word was mischevious-sounding as Maria almost smirked teasingly at him. "Should we expect to see Sonar Juniors in the near future?"

Sonar couldn't help himself. He blushed, staring open-mouthed at Maria for a few seconds while she giggled to herself. If there was one way to break Sonar, it was speaking of things like that about Carol.

Which was a little weird for him specifically, really, he thought. It wasn't as if he'd never had relations with other girls before he and Carol had met... but he just couldn't bring himself to see Carol in that way. It felt... wrong. And he was okay with that. But every once in a blue moon he'd find himself imagining what his kid would look like. What Carol would be like as a mother. He liked the idea of spoiling a daughter while Carol encouraged behavior that would make his hair gray early. But actually getting there? Probably wasn't going to happen.

Of course, there was also the matter of Carol's stance on the matter. Which was to say "Hell, no." He was pretty sure she just didn't want to deal with the burden of it all. Maybe she was afraid of what would happen if she became a mother of any sort. He was happy to respect that. The two of them were enough. And his newfound family.

He recovered after a couple of moments and cleared his throat. "Probably not," he said with a sheepish smile. "I don't think any of us would be able to fathom it anyway."

"Oh! And before we go, the world wants to know: What's it like working with Tunder Lilin?"

"It's awesome. We bounce ideas back and forth all the time on collaboration songs and the like, and having similar tastes in music definitely helps. The stuff she does with me is kind of a side project, not her usual genre, but it's another outlet for her. And it's really fun." He was also very certain Carol absolutely hated Tunder. For the life of him, though, he couldn't figure out why. It was much more than her usual jealousy. But he wasn't going to just put that out there in an interview.

"Well! That was certainly informative. Maybe we'll have to track down Carol so we can air these interviews back to back. That'd be interesting to do. What? We can't? Fooey. Well, in any case: Sonar, thank you for joining us today. I hope we can get another interview again someday, when you've absolutely dominated the planet."

"World domination through music, eh? I like it. But Carol and her friends would probably have to stop me." He laughed at the bad joke. "Great being here, Maria."

[lilyblackdrawside]

I like to jab at Reimu’s route and I have a few reasons for that, mainly that I think her stages are weaker overall than Marisa’s but the most important thing is two specific points in the story:

The first is in the second route split on the second disc, in stages 25, 28 and 29. Reimu’s focus on meeting some of PCB’s characters and she ends up recruiting Lily White. It’s all just alright, you get a preview of Suika.

Marisa gets a preview of the second half of the next disc by meeting the Chireiden crew. S25 has Koishi pop up out of nowhere, as she does, in S28 Marisa’s group is at the entrance to the underground and fights with Yamame and Kisume. Marisa finds the buried Seirensen and when she goes to investigate it at the end of the stage is captured by Rin and Utsuho and taken to Satori’s place. The group gives chase, with either Alice, Patchouli or Nitori taking the lead (your choice, whoever you pick also gets her friendship level with Marisa increased)

Then S29 is in the underground, with Marisa stranded at one end and your objective being to get her out to one of the escape points by where you start. If you just want to do that, it’s really easy because you can just outfit Marisa for 10 move and accel her outta there in 3 turns, but if you want to grab everything, it’s a very tightly designed and fairly challenging stage. When you do get out, Marisa goes back after Koishi and gets trapped by a spirit, upon which Mima shows up and gets her outta there. It’s an amazing moment with wonderful music and the entire setup is great.

The next important bit is on disc 3 just before the middle of the Imperishable Night arc. During that part of the game you’re accompanied by Yuuka and Mima, who join at the start of Marisa’s route split.

Stage 39 is where Marisa and Reimu get their upgrades/promotions whatever you want to call it. Marisa had just had an encounter with Tewi in S38 and the group is chasing after her. She then gets herself trapped by Tewi’s underlings and is overwhelmed and beaten down. Alice, Nitori and Patchouli rush in to protect her and that’s just what you have to do:

Guard a zone in the center of the map for a few turns while new enemies have spawned in. If any enemy steps onto the zone, you lose. Then, once you’ve guarded Marisa for long enough, she regains her consciousness and we get a flashback to years back where she was training with Mima, set to a low-energy rendition of Magician’s Melancholy that still gets me to ears. After that is another flashback scene of Marisa, Reimu and Rinnosuke watching a meteor shower. Then Marisa gets back up, takes off in a flash of light, music-overrides the entire stage with her new theme (not even special themes of other characters can take priority over it) and blasts all the surrounding enemies away. The stage objective now is to „use Marisa’s new moves and have her finish the stage“. It’s not difficult anymore either, she has no problem defeating all the enemies by herself. It’s just about her showing off.

Whenever you use one of her new attacks for the first time, a brief conversation plays with one of her friends and rivals who inspired it. And all of her new attacks look so good. Just amazing. Her old animations were getting a bit stale, since she’s been around with the exact same attacks since the start of the game and the animators have just been getting better and better over time, so it’s an all-around amazing moment.

Particular mention has to go to her combination attack with Alice.

She made this one up near the end of the first disc in the spur of the moment when facing the three fairies of light, who work well together and have their own combination attack(s). It was called „Proto Malice Cannon“ then and is a pretty competent move. „Malice Cannon“ is a play on Marisa and Alice and an actual thing in Imperishable Night where you can deal way more damage than you’re supposed to by exploiting certain mechanics with the two.

Now, with her form change Malice Cannon is also updated, but Alice still has the Proto version that pairs with old Marisa so she can’t actually initiate the move (any user of a combination attack can initiate it, as long as all participants are close to each other) and that’s just a really cool detail.

The Proto version was just the two firing side by side at the same time. There was no coordination or any synergie and then the updated one just looks amazing.

In Reimu’s stage Yukari shows up, goes „please wait warmly“, whisks her away for two or so turns and then returns with Reimu in a new outfit and with new moves.