#when you're keeping so much secret
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[Dated 15/08/2021]
No one can know.
a fun bit of art about ross that i did for a belated friday the 13th! this poor bastard's dealt with A Lot hasn't he
the "ghost" covering his mouth was meant to be his past self, but could def be interpretted as someone/something else
#{my art}#{fanart}#{2021}#tw body horror#soma#soma game#soma (game)#johan ross#how does it feel?#when you're keeping so much secret#when everyone thinks you're dead#and the person you try to tell how to fix things ends up dead because of you#you're a ghost (of your former self) haunting the ocean floor#Hence nothing remains except for our regrets.
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(˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)
#I've had the cutest interaction today#So like yesterday? There was this post I saw on my dash that was like “you want to know extra info about museums? Just befriend a–#guide! That way you can also unlock the Secret Backscene” and I was like. Lmao. Who could ever befriend a museum guide I've never–#even personally met anyone who works at museums?#... Well. Guess what happened today#I was following this guided museum tour with a friend and when the tour came to an end I was happily chatting with her when the guide.#Shyly chimed in and was like “is that an Atsushi keychain?” And I was like !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#And I was like‚‚ omg‚‚‚ Do you happen to know‚‚‚ This one series‚‚‚‚‚‚#And they unsheathed their phone like a fbi distinctive in American movies to show me their fyo/zai background amjdsgawsjda it was SO cute.#They were adorable. And I got so embarassed but trying to keep my cool while internally I was like‚‚‚#Omg the Cool Museum Guide™ is talking with me about my hyperfixation‚‚‚‚‚‚ What is happening#We talked a bit about the manga it was such a nice and sweet exchange. They said they like Dostoyevsky and I was like yeah he's so cool!!!#They said they're sorry about Bram it was REALLY cute (´;ω;`)#I didn't want to hamper them too much so I took my leave shortly after but I'd actually really like to pay visit again–#when the new chapter is out??#Hhhhhhh I don't want to look stalkery and like go look for them on their job. But also like‚ they looked genuinely happy and as excited as–#I was when we were chatting and I believe in the power of human connections through shared hyperfixations#The possibly funnier part is that then my friend went “Wait you're into b/ungo stray dogs??” and like alright. This is less surprising.#I already knew she likes manga.#What actually left me quite baffled was that... She really didn't know I was into b/sd. When it's literally what I think about 24/7#Something very similar happened just a week ago. My friend gifted me a manga volume of a series she really likes for my birthday#But when she was giving it to me she awkwardly went “oh‚ just‚ it features romance between two guys. I hope that's okay with you...”#And I internally had to pause and realize that no.#In fact most of the people I hang out with don't know I spend half my time curating a bl focused blog.#It's just funny in a way? I got so used to concealing my hyperfixations I didn't even realize I actually got quite good at passing–#for someone who is normal about stuff.#random rambles
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writing an argument in the princess AU that's basically just, like.
luz: hunter. [Bad Dog voice] we Don't kill people who are politically inconvenient.
hunter: I WASN'T GONNA!!!!!
luz: I Can See You Thinking About It, Hunter ,
hunter: I AM NOT GOING TO KILL ANYONE. BUT YOU ARE DRIVING ME TO TERRORISM,
#when they arent ronsey they are adansey bc this is where i thrive. sorry everyone#this is a relatively low stakes argument. hunter is not going to do anything bad & no one's feelings are truly getting hurt#but truly it's just.#me in a protecting the empress competition when my opponent (the fucking empress) keeps impulsively telling random outlaws state secrets#like luz baby you're doing so good and care so much. but oh my god give hunter a Break#horrible mindscape trauma pals#princess luz AU#toh
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tag ramble
#not to sound like an attention seeker But does it sometimes feel like you're work is ignored if you're not already like. a big creator#this is about gifmaking yes. again -_- i do this every few months#im just dejected a little i feel because i think my gifs are good. i am very proud of them. i think they are good quality and i like my#colouring etc etc. Which is why i want people to see them. because i like them so much :D#but it feels like there's nooooo point if you're not already like. big. doing numbers. it feels like there's a wall between me and 90% of#other gifmakers and idk what it is#like what is itttt. am i not personal enough on my account? i don't think it's that. it's an interest focused acct like everyone elses#i make text post sometimes with thoughts and stuff#i try and interact with other people's gifs and stuff. i keep adjusting my queue time cuz i feel bad when stuff takes a bit to#come out and i want them to know their work is seen and i like it#outside of like. tkd lol. i gif stuff i know people like. well i gif it for me of course but i know other people on tumblr like it#and then i scroll thru the network tag for that group and every post around mine is doing numbers and mine is just. there#idk sorry for whining i guess. im just sad. i like my gifs too much If i liked my stuff less i'd care less i know#i appreciate the tags i get from friends. i really do. and i know that should be enough for me#but i also have this little ache all the time >_>#been gifmaking for 15 months now and ive yet to crack the secret
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i'm going to SCREAM
#tm#you don't get how UNHINGED this makes me it's SO#like he's been out all day trying to track down this missing kid (as part of her case too; to give her another avenue against volker)#and they have their little catch up and at first he's concerned (she's been at this all day and now into the night too#and he GETS it - in a way maybe other people wouldn't - but he doesn't want her to burn herself out; he wants her to be careful#maybe he's about to tell her a version of 'get some sleep')#but then she talks about amanda and it makes me NUTS because she does NOT ask for his help#she doesn't ask him to stay; to read the files with her; to 'burn the midnight oil' with her#she's just...stating her case; explaining why this means so much to her; and he listens; he takes it in; and he makes the choice to help#to sit in this with her and to help her work through it#and i just -- neither of them will ask the other for help (yes i know she did at the end of the last episode the context is different ok)#but they're both so quietly (and sometimes not so quietly) desperate to help each other it makes me sick#it's so interesting to see how they deal with this as the show goes on....idk how to explain it but like#when jane needs help he closes himself off; he keeps secrets and he schemes and he lies ('let me help you' 'you're sweet')#because he's trying to keep the people he cares about - the people he never planned on caring about as much as he does - safe#even as he shares more with lisbon (and sometimes the rest of the team) he still doesn't share everything#because that puts them at risk#and that's what lisbon used to do to - in the earlier seasons she put up walls when she felt vulnerable; and she still does in some cases#but with this case especially she's much more accepting of help - she relies on her team (not that she doesn't usually)#and she's practically an open book to jane - in this scene most of all - she lets herself be more vulnerable#(and open to suggestions/ideas she might otherwise scoff at or reject)#idk idk it's very interesting but this scene makes me so wacky there's something so soft and tender and understanding about it#the way there's no spoken acknowledgement - no 'i'll help' or 'thank you' - just the silent understanding that they're in this together#because they're partners#(also the way he picks at the rest of her food - the 'done with this?' the only thing they say - and the framing through the window#is still somehow very domestic it's like my perfect scene)#spinning my wheels hard i'm not thinking clearly i just love everything about it
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i want to post about tsh so bad because i'm currently reading it and i'm sooooooo in love with it so far but i don't have any energy left in me to make one and i have so many assignments i need to finish and *screams*
#fully believe i should do a one nighter tonight I HAVE TOO MANY DEADLINES#but ohhh tsh!!!!! you're amazing you#im sacrificing my reading of circe and crooked kingdom rn for this because i haven't been able to keep up with fantasy as much so#(probably the wrong book to choose because oh my god but oh well)#i had soo much fun annotating it (esp when richard first took the class) in bio class my beloathed today :)<3#the secret history#tsh#reading tag
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it makes my blood pressure rise every time i have a fight with my sister bc her piece of shit boyfriend who i loathe and despise radicalized her and now she thinks like a fascist
#pls study kids STUDY#you can't be manipulated if you educate yourselves#you don't have to take a uni course about political sciences but please educate yourselves with any means you have#i have a degree in philosophy and i studied history political sciences sociology bioethics i studied all these things#and yet i have to deal with a person who tells me 'we'll never get anywhere if you keep defending women'#(the woman in question unmasked a minister who used state money for his personal stuff and divulged secret information and stuff like this)#you're right sister we should have let that guy stay there in a position of power earning 744824793498348 euros a month so he could keep#cheating on his wife#you literally didn't even know this thing was happening (it's been going on for days)#but of course you're right and im only a lgbtq+ weirdo freak loser closeted lesbian (derogatory)#(im cishet)#oh and the band i like so much is a bunch of puppets (i don't know why she had to say this. guess it happens when you aren't smart enough t#articulate a thought)#personal
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youtube
Jonathan Thulin - Masquerade
#a personal hymn (theme)#pleasure and pain feel all the same (Shiro & Mephisto)#When you're feeling empty keep me in your memory (Shiro & Rin)#((HEY HI I AM HAVING SO MANY FUCKING FEELINGS ABOUT THE IMPLICATIONS OF SHIRO ATTENDING THE TRIAL))#((YOU KNOW THE ONE WHERE MEPHISTO HAS TO EXPLAIN TO THE GRIGORI HE HAD RIN RAISED IN SECRET BY SHIRO TO BE A FUTURE WEAPON AGAINST SATAN))#((THE TRIAL WHERE ANGEL DRIVES HIS BLADE INTO RIN'S ANKLE AS A SAFETY PRECAUTION AND RIN SCREAMS HIS HEAD OFF IN PAIN ABOUT IT))#((AND SHIRO HAS TO BE CALM THE ENTIRE FUCKING TIME BECAUSE AS FURIOUS AS HE IS WITH THE WHOLE CHARADE HE CAN'T AFFORD TO BE A FATHER))#((HE HAS TO ACT AS THE PALADIN FIRST))#((AND REPRESS ALL FATHERLY INSTINCTS AS A MEANS OF PROTECTING HIS BOY))#((HE'S MASKING TO HELL AND BACK AND HELPING SELL THE CONSPIRACY TO THE GOD DAMN GRIGORI))#((ACTING AS HEARTLESS AS MEPHISTO))#((ALL BECAUSE HIS HEART CAN'T STAND THE ALTERNATIVE OUTCOME IF HE FAILS TO DO THAT MUCH))#((I AM FEELING SO FUCKING NORMAL GUYS))
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love how the message of season 4 was that you have to have extremely good grades and have gone to parties to be able to successfully adjust to university
#nhie s4 spoilers#nhie s4#nhie#never have i ever#nhie critical#if you had mediocre grades or were too uptight might as well not even bother going since you're apparently fucked#like. devi ben and fab all got into an ivy and seemed to be enjoying university and doing well right away#meanwhile we have eleanor who gets 1 rejection and gives up on furthering her education entirely (why didn't she think about film school??)#and paxton who worked So Hard to get into college only to immediately drop out just because his roommate was shitty#& blair who was an excellent student but partied too hard and failed out and tried to keep it a secret because it was 'kind of humiliating'#like. blair mentioned that she was burnt out but then it was almost immediately reframed as her having been 'too perfect' in high school#the only character who never planned to go to college was trent who was so bad at school he had to repeat his senior year#why weren't there any students who had done well at high school yet struggled academically even though they were genuinely trying?#or students who hadn't done super well in high school but then thrived in university when they had more freedom to choose their classes#where were the top students who didn't get into their first choice school? or knew that they didn't want to go to college at all?#obviously the show couldn't cover every possible permutation of how people decide whether to go to college and then how they adjust to it#but it's uhhh not great that the 3 'smartest' main characters were admitted into ivies and immediately thrived at university#while the 3 who struggled with school or prioritized non-academic interests either didn't try to go to college or gave up extremely fast#the show has always had moments where characters will be elitist but it seemed much more prominent & tied into the narrative this season#my post#my meta#tag ramble
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i am about to spend SO much fucking time on this
#cicada blabs#my art#wip#nightstar#nightpelt#very excited about this tbh#it's gonna look so cool when it's done#oh also obligatory this is not the full piece!#i zoomed in and screenshotted#bc i want to keep the full thing a secret#so y'all really don't know what you're gonna be getting#it's so much more than just this#it's SO good#not to toot my own horn ofc
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.
#i wanted to find xan's epilogue slides so that i could talk about them and i failed but im talking abt them off my memory anyway#so: how is xan legally allowed to become charname's high priest when he still has the moonblade#like. that's corellon's thing. so what is the process of divorcing himself from that duty#previous conversations have emphasized that chances for him to be free of the moonblade are rare and difficult#so i assume charname as a new deity steps in and does that for him#but even if it's possible & easy: would xan give it up just like that? like he says multiple times that he hates the burden of the sword#but i keep thinking back to that 1 exchange abt secret names where xan explains his secret name literally means promised to the blade#and charname's like 'i prefer xan to your true name and i think so do you; it separates you from your moonblade'#and xan gets really quiet and he's like 'my name was a gift from my father. as was the moonblade' and the conversation instantly ends#like??? the blade is tied up in so much significance. is he really so ready to simp for goddess!charname that his filial piety disappears#like i know that immediately after u save him from bodhi he's like 'i will do whatever you want me to with my life'#and he's outright like 'if you want me to be your high priest when you ascend to godhood i'm 100% down'#but bro just for saving his life?? idk abt anyone else but i save his life on a daily basis. guy is always 2 hits away from death#maybe he's especially awed like 'wow charname took a potentially fatal blow for me' but my guy she does that every damn hour#she's a permanent member of the front line just to keep the aggro off of you. have some more appreciation for her everyday sacrifice#idk it's the way that he's been asking charname not to use her divine powers for 2 full games bc he fears it will consume her#and how he's been sighing longingly and going 'i wish we could have our wedding and a quiet life'#and then. suddenly. he's indifferent to / in full support of the goddess ending??#like my guy are you aware that you're going to have to share her?? that she'll have other champions besides you??#that you're never going to truly have her again? that the most you will have of her is her avatar and the visits she makes in your dreams#that you're abandoning the seldarine and might not get to see your parents in the afterlife ever??#i do love the full devotion thing. i do. but xan's brand of devotion has always come with an asterisk#his and charname's values have to align even Somewhat for his romance to even happen#so what is this? ''if you get far enough in his romance his values no longer matter''?#''feel free to choose whatever ending you want bc at this point he'll just indulge you and go along with it''?#sorry did i romance a fucking reed in the wind?? if i wanted someone that bends to any and all whims xan would be the last person i picked#he's all 'i can't say no to you' now and i'm like *slumps over my desk* i miss when he was contrary about everything#the 'cant say no' thing is even worse if in the underdark you--no i wont get into it#sovo note
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oh buddy cole timeline we're really in it now
#i have my improv midterm this morning and i'm like strangely nervous about it#like it's literally just playing pretend and being funny for a grade and i'd much rather do this than like take a test or do an essay#but also i'm like aaaa what's my prompt gonna be who's my scene partner gonna be#bc the professor keeps that information secret until right before the scene so we can't prepare anything and we have to fully improvise#which like that's a smart move but also aaaaaaaa#and then also. i have to do aubrey in front of people in less than a week for the first time#so i'm nervous as hell about that!!!!#mentally replaying the part of my interview with bruce where he asked me about aubrey and was like ''oh nice!!!! i love that :D''#if i'm allowed to post the audio i recorded i might post that section online lmao#bc i need to remind myself regardless of what anyone else may think bruce thinks i'm special#(me @ bruce: ''you are my daaaad you're my dad! boogie woogie woogie'')#love it when i meet a member of kids in the hall and they're like ''is anyone gonna mentor this kid'' and then they just do it
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STOP DOING THIS IN INJURY FICS!!
Bleeding:
Blood is warm. if blood is cold, you’re really fucking feverish or the person is dead. it’s only sticky after it coagulates.
It smells! like iron, obv, but very metallic. heavy blood loss has a really potent smell, someone will notice.
Unless in a state of shock or fight-flight mode, a character will know they’re bleeding. stop with the ‘i didn’t even feel it’ yeah you did. drowsiness, confusion, pale complexion, nausea, clumsiness, and memory loss are symptoms to include.
blood flow ebbs. sometimes it’s really gushin’, other times it’s a trickle. could be the same wound at different points.
it’s slow. use this to your advantage! more sad writer times hehehe.
Stab wounds:
I have been mildly impaled with rebar on an occasion, so let me explain from experience. being stabbed is bizarre af. your body is soft. you can squish it, feel it jiggle when you move. whatever just stabbed you? not jiggly. it feels stiff and numb after the pain fades. often, stab wounds lead to nerve damage. hands, arms, feet, neck, all have more motor nerve clusters than the torso. fingers may go numb or useless if a tendon is nicked.
also, bleeding takes FOREVER to stop, as mentioned above.
if the wound has an exit wound, like a bullet clean through or a spear through the whole limb, DONT REMOVE THE OBJECT. character will die. leave it, bandage around it. could be a good opportunity for some touchy touchy :)
whump writers - good opportunity for caretaker angst and fluff w/ trying to manhandle whumpee into a good position to access both sites
Concussion:
despite the amnesia and confusion, people ain’t that articulate. even if they’re mumbling about how much they love (person) - if that’s ur trope - or a secret, it’s gonna make no sense. garbled nonsense, no full sentences, just a coupla words here and there.
if the concussion is mild, they’re gonna feel fine. until….bam! out like a light. kinda funny to witness, but also a good time for some caretaking fluff.
Fever:
you die at 110F. no 'oh no his fever is 120F!! ahhh!“ no his fever is 0F because he’s fucking dead. you lose consciousness around 103, sometimes less if it’s a child. brain damage occurs at over 104.
ACTUAL SYMPTOMS:
sluggishness
seizures (severe)
inability to speak clearly
feeling chilly/shivering
nausea
pain
delirium
symptoms increase as fever rises. slow build that secret sickness! feverish people can be irritable, maybe a bit of sass followed by some hurt/comfort. never hurt anybody.
ALSO about fevers - they absolutely can cause hallucinations. Sometimes these alter memory and future memory processing. they're scary shit guys.
fevers are a big deal! bad shit can happen! milk that till its dry (chill out) and get some good hurt/comfort whumpee shit.
keep writing u sadistic nerds xox love you
ALSO I FORGOT LEMME ADD ON:
YOU DIE AT 85F
sorry I forgot. at that point for a sustained period of time you're too cold to survive.
pt 2
also please stop traumadumping in the notes/tags, that's not the point of this post. it's really upsetting to see on my feed, so i'm muting the notifs for this post. if you have a question about this post, dm me, but i don't want a constant influx of traumatic stories. xox
#writing tips#writing advice#writing help#writblr#how to write#fiction writing#for writers#on writing#writing stuff#writer life
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𝐖𝐄𝐈𝐑𝐃 𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋 𝐏𝐔𝐒𝐒𝐘
A/n: For all my weird tumblr smut AO3 girls Synopsis: No one expects the weird girl to have such a good pussy. Warnings: Male whimpering, squirting, pussy drunk men, pervert y/n, unprotected sex
No one suspects the weird girl to be a perverted fiend.
No one suspects the weird girl who reads AO3 and Tumblr on the bus and has key chains of their favorite chibi anime guy. No one suspects the girl who fumbles over their words during a presentation, the girl who goes to classes in sweaters and sweatpants, the girl who spends her time daydreaming about fictional scenarios. No one suspects the girl who always seems shy and sweet, only to have a secret stash of explicit fanfiction hidden on her phone, the kind that would make even the most confident person turn red.
And of course, no one expects the weird girl to have such good pussy.
So when the confident, smooth-talking guy gets you in his bedroom, how the hell is it possible that he is trembling from pleasure just from slipping his tip in?
"Fuck, I c-can’t—" he groans, his voice breaking as he stumbles over the words. His usual cool demeanor is completely shattered, replaced with breathless gasps and desperate sounds. His head is thrown back, neck taut, and his eyes are screwed shut like he’s trying to hold onto every ounce of composure, terrified that if he opens them, the mind-numbing pleasure coursing through him will slip away. Every time your pussy squeezes around his aching dick his body trembles uncontrollably, muscles tensing and relaxing in waves as he tries to keep himself together.
"Look at me," you coo, your voice steady despite the pounding of your own heart. You may be practically a virgin, but you're by no means an idiot. Hours of reading smut, scrolling through Twitter porn threads, and indulging in endless fantasies have taught you more than you'd ever admit. You've spent too many nights alone, lost in stories and scenes where you imagined yourself in control, learning every filthy detail in your mind until it felt like second nature. So now, laying here with him unraveling over you, you're anything but inexperienced.
He locks eyes with you, big and desperate and you cup his perfect face with trembling hands.
"You're mine tonight ok?" you whisper, bringing him in just enough for your breath to tickle his lips, your voice low and dripping with confidence you didn't know you had. "Every sound, every breath—your mine."
"F-fuck, y-yeah I'm yours" he groans, accentuating his words with a sharp thrust right into your cervix, knocking the wind out of you.
"Mmm!" You cry. It’s painful, but in the pain is so much pleasure. He presses his forehead against yours as he slides in and out of you, gripping the sheets with his supporting hand as your hot, wet entrance swallows his cock. Instinctively, you're cunt squeezed around the foreign intrusion, trying to push it out, making him let out a low groan of his own as he thrusts even deeper into you.
“Y/n I-I can feel you doing it to me,” he says hoarsely.
His fingers gently press into the skin of your hip, guiding and steadying you as he pulls back and thrusts into you. The sudden friction and collision with your G-spot makes your brain go fuzzy. Ticklish pleasure courses through your veins and you immediately throw your head back against the wall as he rams into you.
"Hnghh, s-so good~~" You whine. It was dizzying, the curvature of his dick digging itself against your g-spot, scraping against your vaginal walls every time he backed his hips up.
Simultaneously, his other hand sought yours, finding it with a purposeful tenderness. His fingers intertwined with yours, locking them together in a grip that was both a clasp and a caress.
"Were we doing it like this in your head baby?" He grunts, his Adam apple bobs as he groans from the pleasure of how fucking heavenly your pussy feels. "Because this is how we were doing it in mine." He felt good? Try euphoric. How could it be possible that pussy feels this good?
You can't even open your mouth to respond. The friction of his dick against your walls is just too good and as his pace intensified, a dizzying warmth spread through you, filling every corner of your being with a euphoric haze. The sensation of being completely enveloped, utterly connected, sent electric flesh arrows of pleasure through your body, making your eyes flutter and roll back slightly in sheer bliss. Every motion he makes, every time his fat tip collides with your cervix, leaves behind a trail of sparkling heat that seems to light you from within.
And of course, no one expects the weird girl to be a squirter.
You don't know whats happening and you don't have enough to warn him. Release washed over you in an all-encompassing wave, radiating out from your core to the very tips of your fingers and toes. It swept through you like a storm, leaving a trail of starbursts in its wake. Your body arched instinctively, clinging to him as the wave crested, then gently, slowly, began to ebb.
He stills his motion and watches through wide eyes as clear liquid sprays onto his abdomen and you tremble and moan. As you floated back down from the heights of bliss, your breath came easier, softer, the lingering aftershocks of pleasure pulsing gently through you.
"Why did you stop?" You whisper.
Sukuna, Gojo Satoru, Geto Suguru, Toji Fushiguro
#weirdgirlpussy
#jjk smut#jjk x reader#gojo x reader#geto x reader#sukuna x reader#sukuna smut#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen smut#gojo smut#geto smut#toji smut#toji x reader smut#toji x reader#gojo x reader smut#sukuna x reader smut#jjk x reader smut
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adrienette keeping their secret identities from their kids is underrated. not only do i think it's more practical/safe (when i was a kid i told all my friends ALL of my parents' dirty secrets because i was very trusting of my friends and also had no solid concept of consequence) but also i think it's more fun to keep the identity shenanigans going. their kids thinking their parents are lame, meanwhile thinking ladybug and chat noir are sooooo cool.
like dad you're soooo lame, stop wanting to play board games with us while we're trying to watch the newest Ladybug and Chat Noir movie. god mom is always so busy and anxious, she's nothing like carefree confident ladybug. my brother dressed up as chat noir for halloween and for some reason it made my dad cry. i told my parents i thought Chat Noir and Rena Rouge had the most chemistry in the movies and they stared blankly at me. i snuck out at night to go to a friend's place and ladybug intercepted me on the street and was super freaked out about it for some reason. some kids at school found out i'm hawkmoth's grandkid and are being mean to me and told me ladybug and chat noir would hate me and it made me cry. mom says ladybug and chat noir LOVE ME SO MUCH but that seems like a stretch?? the other night i heard SOMETHING eating VORACIOUSLY in our cheese cabinet and when i ran to my parents' room to tell them about it they AVIDLY denied it and THEN claimed it was a mouse but how the fuck did a mouse get up there??? why are they so shifty???? and WHO keeps eating my COOKIES
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Headcanon that when the batkids are mad at Bruce or just, mildly annoyed, they deliberately use last names that piss Bruce off, a lot.
Kidnappers over the phone: We have Richard Wayne in our custody, if you want to see him again-
Dick, mad after Bruce made him throw out the discowing suit, in a muffled voice: It's actually Richard Grayson-Kent, get it right
Bruce, on the verge of a heart attack: Chum Please
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Barista at Batburger: What would you like your coffee cup to say?
Tim, not mad, just mildly annoyed at the way Bruce did the reports last night: My name is Tim Jordan-Gardener-Cruz-Scott
Bruce, clutching his Jokerized fries so hard veins appear: You're grounded
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Author, at a book signing event: And who should I address this to?
Jason, after Bruce had let the Joker live yet again: To Jason Dent, please
Bruce, standing in line next to him, whom Jason had brought along to pay for the signed copy: I should make Harvey pay child support
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Announcer: And the award goes to, Ms Cassandra Isley-Quinn!
Cass, mad because Bruce missed another one of her recitals, walking up to the stage:
Bruce:
Bruce, signing to her: You're killing me, you know that? You're killing your father
Harley, sitting next to Bruce along with Ivy: Yes! That's our daughter!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Duke, calling some shady Gotham lawyer right in front of Bruce after he lectured him a little too much about keeping up secret identities: Hi, how much to legally change my name to Duke Thomas-Queen?
Shady lawyer: About 50$
Duke: Got it. Hey Bruce can I borrow 50$?
Bruce:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Steph doesn't use the Wayne name anyway, but sometimes she uses it for Benefits™
Damian would much rather die than adopt the last name of anyone in the justice league or the batrouges or anyone except his very infamous lineages, because he doesn't want to associate with incompetent people
#dick grayson#jason todd#batfam#bruce wayne#tim drake#cassandra cain#duke thomas#nightwing#red hood#red robin#batgirl#signal dc#batman#dc#dc comics#batfam headcanons#batfamily headcanons#batfamily#batkids#batfam shenanigans#damian wayne#stephanie brown#robin
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