#when you say 'wow have you thought of seeing a therapist' that instantly tells me you're checked out and you no longer want to hear it

[beelzlikes]

Fuck I'm pathetic. I'm so angry at myself. I want to destroy something beautiful, and my heart screams that I know it's wrong, that I'm just jealous.

Well I'd really like to be over it now. I'm tired of putting words in people's mouths. I'm tired of constantly thinking people hate me. I've become what I've never wanted to be, and I've hurt people in the process. Innocent people who didn't deserve to be hurt.

And then I type my emotions out on here and pretend no one reads them. Because if I say I'm on the brink of killing myself, and no one says anything, well that's just because nobody read it. It's not that they DID read it and decide they wouldn't say anything, that would be worse to imagine, so I don't imagine it. I imagine I'm alone. That no one is listening. Better to be ignored than to realize they ACTUALLY don't care.

And let's face it, you'd push them away too. No one wants to FIGHT someone for their love. It's not playing hard to get, it's being outright hostile towards people who approach you.

I can't go back. I've made my decisions. I can cry like a baby all I want. I just want it to be over now. I... don't want to be alone. But I've learned that is what I deserve.

"You don't honestly think they invited you over JUST for your company!"

Yes, Mother, you're right. I should have known better. Next time I'll bring cookies or chips or pop or something. To prove that I'm worth inviting over, that I actually bring something to the table.

"I hope you realize how selfish you're being."

Yes Dad, I do. Coming out as gay was devastating for you, I know. It was the first sign that signaled your long-term investment was going sour. I'll remember to never bring up my sexuality with you ever again.

"Hey Mom, do you ever... just... feel like... crying?" "Well of course I do, son, but I don't go around TELLING people about it."

Oh... okay... I just uh... I won't mention it again then. Sorry for bringing it up.

"Hey Dad sorry about my breakdown, thanks for lending me money and letting me stay at your house." "I'm just so disappointed in you, it's been three weeks and you still don't have a job. I have a plan for my life, Vincent, and it doesn't involve taking care of YOU!"

I... didn't realize... I was just trying to get better and... yeah, okay... find a job... move out... be independent... no one is going to help you... you have to do it all on your own.

If you can't, you're a failure and deserve the ridicule of those who come to rescue you. If they come at all.

What good are parents? You're just an investment for them for when they get old, they have someone obligated to take care of them. What good are friends? All they want is whatever they can get out of you, and if you can't provide you might as well not be there.

What good is love? All it does is cloud my judgement and make me say and do stupid things. It's a dagger slipped into my side, between the ribs, and you can't help but touch it, feel its sting, remember it's still there lodged in deep.

I want a lobotomy. I want to be nothing. I want my outside demeanor to match my inside demeanor so that nobody gets fooled again into thinking I'm a real person. I'm not real. I'm not actually here.

I'm just a ghost that haunts the living.

[allsadnshit]

it's truly difficult to remember you owe yourself love and understanding when you are going through lots of big and painful things in life! i used to think "as long as i am the only one getting hurt then it's fine" cause i considered myself nothing and everyone else something. i have gone really back and forth with my perspective and coping skills of big break ups, friends or romantic, and i feel like i am just not learning the middle ground between "wow if this person and i are breaking up then they must be so toxic and abusive so who cares fuck them anyways" and "i am not allowed to be angry i need to be peaceful and kind i should try harder to see their perspective or else i am deserving of these bad things" which are two perspectives that have done nothing for my healing or process.

i think maybe the biggest thing im learning about myself is that communication can't be replaced by anything else. you need to hear it straight from people just as much as they need to understand you too! there's definitely a limit on how helpful communication is without the necessary other things like action and reflection etc but i used to think "this isn't even worth saying or hearing" whenever i was faced with something hard and that's just not true.

i had a therapy session recently where i tried to play off an interaction with an old boss as "id rather just not talk with him than say what he did bothered me" and my therapist immediately called me out on the avoidance and lack of follow through on my own boundaries and feelings. i wasn't getting off easy by not being willing to have conflict or confrontation, i was actually forcing myself to swallow my own hurt and pain and in many ways betrayed myself by not speaking up. she had me write an apology letter to myself and i cried without a few sentences.

I am working to change these things. I used to think feeling hurt and admitting that meant you were weaker and lost. I just had a really hard conversation with one of my oldest friends and it ended with us breaking up! i didn't see it coming, and didn't think it was even on the table and it unfolded in front of me almost instantly when i decided to speak up on something that bothered me and it turned out he already felt deeply resentful towards me and called a lot of my behavior into question that i didn't know he had thought poorly of me about for years and years! it's going to be a long road of lots of mixed emotions now. i feel shameful and scared i have lost so many of my old friends in the last two years which have been the biggest growth and happiest i've ever been and it's so confusing to go through even though i am constantly reassured that's part of the ride!

i used to tell myself if everyone had something bad to say about you, then it must be true and you must be bad and deserve it.... and i think that was just an easy way out for me to feel guilt and sorry for myself cause that's easier than fighting it's easier than the work it would take to stand up for myself and believe my own experiences and emotions. i thought i was so mature and gentle for saying "you're right i guess i am just a bad person" and never once was that the solution.

i am going to take my time absorbing this experience! i am going to be confused, angry, sad, and probably a decent bit of mourning too! i will no longer deny myself that process and pretend i am better off without the people i loved! i will not pretend to wish them well and hold no bad feelings. it's time to do the hard thing and be mad be sad and be in this difficult process!

thanks for reading, i really love this blog. I feel it's so important to share be seen and understood by other people but i am also so hesitant to admit what i am scared of because i don't want to make myself vulnerable to being hurt even more but it's also a pathway to healing and letting go and that's worth the risks

[wheredafandomat]

Dr. Laufeyson

Chapter 18 - How I see it is how I call it

Warnings etc: Loki x female reader au where Lokis a therapist, therapy, flashbacks, smut, swearing, mentions of past trauma later in the fic including abuse both physically and sexually - not explicit detail, 18+. PLEASE tell me if I ever leave anything out x

Previous Chapter

Next Chapter

Beginning to wake up, your neck felt stiff without adequate support or from simply sleeping in the same position the whole night. Instantly, you realised you weren’t in your own bed or any bed for that matter. Memories from last night came back to you and you remembered you were in Dr La—Lokis house. You opened your eyes, looking around at the room which was now alive with daylight. It looked even better in the day, very modern and sleek. Hearing the stairs creaking, you quickly closed your eyes again, covering yourself with the duvet remembering Loki said he had a guest. You didn’t want them to see you in such a disorderly state which you knew you were definitely in. Even the thought of Loki seeing you right now was nauseating. You hoped whoever was walking down the stairs would just pass you or if it was Loki, he’d maybe check if you were awake and then leave seeing that you weren’t. That’d give you the perfect opening to run out of the house and navigate your way home.

Hearing someone enter the living room, you knew it wasn’t Loki based on their steps. These steps were smaller, lighter. You closed your eyes tightly hoping that the person wouldn’t come any closer to get a glance at the hungover wench on their friends couch.

“He couldn’t even take the one night stand to his bedroom.” Darcy chuckled to herself as her eyes fell on the heels at the end of the couch. Immediately you recognised the voice, it was her, the woman from the phone. Fighting your better judgement, you pulled the duvet off of your face as you made your way to your feet, regretting it as your head spun. Once you laid your eyes on her, you recognised her. The lady from the restaurant. Lokis potential girlfriend considering the date was ages ago and yet here she was in his home. But why would she have slept in the spare room you thought, your eyes meeting hers.

“I wasn’t a one night stand, we’re friends actually thank you very much.” You scoffed, breaking the tense silence between you both.

“Whatever you say.” She replied, rolling her eyes as she added a quiet “slut.” At the end.

“What did you just say?” You questioned incredulously.

“Just saying it how I see it and I see a slut.” She repeated, venom lacing her tone the longer she spoke.

“Bitch.” You answered causing her eyes to widen “What? Just saying it how I see it and I see a jealous bitch.” You smirked.

You never believed the term things escalated quickly as a way of defence or explanation of a situation but you found yourself thinking wow, things escalated quickly. Before your smile could fade away, the woman was charging at you, pushing you backwards as she grabbed your hair. Angrily, you grabbed her hair back, pulling it harder than she had yours. She screamed, trying to push you to the ground before one of your hands moved to her face, pushing her away from you. When you lost your footing, slipping to the ground, she tumbled down with you before her hands found your throat.

“Y-you crazy b-bitch.” You choked, fighting to get her off of you. When she didn’t relent, you settled for digging your thumbs into her eyes causing her to squeal as she got off of you. You caught your breath back before you saw her charging towards you again.

“ENOUGH!”

Both of you gasped as you heard Lokis voice. You both turned to look at him, an angry expression plastered across his face. Still sitting on the floor, you tried to pat down your hair.

“I thought I told you I wanted you gone by morn!” He exclaimed, storming towards the woman.

“Loki I—” she began.

“Out NOW before I throw you out myself.” He ordered, harshly pulling her arm up so she could stand.

“Tell that whore to leave too.” She whined causing Lokis jaw to clench as he pushed her towards the door, following closely on her heels before she scuttled out of the house, slamming the door behind her. Good riddance you thought, still positioned awkwardly on the floor.

Loki slammed his fist against the wall with an angry growl. Slowly, you stood up, making your way towards him.

“Lo—”

Your words were interrupted by Loki spinning around and eagerly pressing his lips to yours. He held your cheeks in his hand as he deepened the kiss, tongue pushing past yours into your mouth. You kissed him back, placing your hands over his on your face. Despite the fact that you no doubt looked a mess, this was perfect. Melting into his embrace, you pressed your body flush against his as he held you in place. Lifting one of your legs, Loki hoisted you up, you following suit as you wrapped your legs around his waist. Not breaking the kiss, Loki walked back towards the living room with you in his arms. Reaching the couch, he laid you down, settling above you as he began inching up your dress. You broke the kiss as Lokis lips travelled to your neck.

“Don’t get me wrong, I want this I really do but not if you’re going to just ignore me after.” You spoke, sighing slightly.

“I guess we’ll see.” He answered, smiling against your skin as he continued to kiss it.

“No, I really can’t do this if you’re going to ignore me.” You said seriously causing Loki to stop his movements as he looked into your eyes seeing the hurt he had caused.

“Y/n.” He began, hands finding your cheeks again. “I am sorry, truly so so sor—”

“That’s good enough.” You interrupted, kissing him again.

“I won’t, I shouldn’t have, I—”

“Please, you don’t have to say anymore.” You panted, catching your breath between kisses as you opened your legs wider, Loki settling between them. You could feel his growing erection against your core, the barrier of both your clothes proving bothersome as you yearned to feel more. Lokis eyes closed as he ground his hips against yours, dry humping you. Your hands found his back, pressing him down onto you as you bucked your hips upwards, beginning to moan as Lokis cock grew harder. You could feel the whole outline of his erect member as it rubbed against your clothed core. Loki quickened his movements, the friction increasing. This was heaven enough, he could only imagine how it felt to be truly inside of you.

“Oh gosh don’t stop.” You pleaded, the material of your underwear gliding over your clit. Looking down at your pleasured expression, Loki kissed you again, ensuring he kept on moving against you at the same speed and rhythm. He could tell you were close.

“I haven’t even fucked you yet.” He grinned against your ear. “I’m going to take my time with you, take you slowly, fill you up, watch as you come undone underneath me. Do you want that? Wanna feel my cock buried deep inside of you?” He asked innocently, driving you insane as you approached your orgasm. “Hmm? Want me to make you cum?”

“Yesss.” You whined.

“Ask nicely.”

“Pleasee, please Lokii.” You near begged.

“Better.” He praised, kissing you chastely on the lips before his hand moved between you both, slipping up your dress and underneath your underwear. You gasped loudly as his fingers found your clit before he began circling it. Quickly you spasmed as you came, saying his name as your eyes closed tightly. Feeling your clit throbbing, Loki knew he was successful as he moved his fingers lower, gathering your arousal. Removing his hand, he took the digits into his mouth, licking them clean as he remembered the taste of you.

“Mmm.” He sighed contently.

He was in trouble, you were addictive.

Not the gif 💀

Tags:

@eyesbluelikethetitanic @lokiprompts @michelleleewise @mischief2sarawr @howdidurhammergrowchris @consistentreader578 @mcufan72 @lokixryss @jaspearl31 @lucylaufeyson3 @emma-laufeyson @deathlydelusion @multifandom-world8 @lulubelle814 @ppartridgee @geekwritersworld @kats72 @123forgottherest @lokisninerealms

[emonaculate]

Streamer Eren Headcanon pt 2

`❥ AU: Modern!AU

`❥ Genre: Fluff

`❥ Pairing: Streamer!Eren x Black!Reader

`❥ Warnings Include: Profanity, Established relationship, Eren is a dork

`❥ Author Note: You guys loved the first one so much I decided to do it again. Sorry if it isn't as good as the first one, I'm working on other projects at the same time

Eren met you during college and was instantly smitten

You were a foreign student studying abroad

He spent months trying to learn English just to properly talk to you

You finally cave in and go on dates with him because slfkssrlw how could you not when he's that sweet

Having said that, when you're frustrated whilst he streams, to check on you he'll switch over to English.

"Hey pretty girl whats wrong?"

"I can't find the letters for my cross word."

"....Aha lemme see."

He is trying his hardest not to laugh at your cute little scrunched up face as he helps you find the word.

During his charity streams, by popular vote, he lets you do his make up

Despite the stream being 24 hrs long people continue to watch because the interactions are too cute.

" 'Ren stay still."

"It feels moist."

"Never say that again."

"Wait. Babe. I want the thingy on my eyes."

"Thingy?"

"Yeah the sharp shit and the stuff on my lashes."

"Its called wing liner and mascara, Eren."

"Yeah that shit."

"Don't swear. Kids are watching."

"Man fuck them-"

"Yeager."

"....Ahem... sorry."

He is definitely the baddest bitch after you finish <3

Kept the make up on even after the stream finished

He may be a COD player but he does not have toxic masculinity

LOVES how he looks when pampered and whilst he'll never go out of his way to do make up or use your products; if you ever offer he's down

"What that's shit on your face?"

"It's an Indian face mask."

"It looks like throw up."

"Do you wanna try it?"

"Yes."

Once talked shit about braids not hurting that bad.

So the only natural solution was to make a bet

You styled his beautiful long hair into nice and neat cornrows (if you can't braid, take him to the africans)

He couldn't even sit through the procedure, literally got up and left midway through

"Fuck no. I like pain as much as the next guy but hell no."

"Aw baby what wrong? I thought it wasn't that bad."

Went on stream the next day to talk about the experience and why he wouldn't wish that on anyone.

Everyone can tell that your relationship is serious when you accidentally broke his PS5

Like he gets absolutely livid and wants to do nothing more than yell at you

But after seeing your teary eyed expression and your broken apologies in German

He just accepts it and steps completely out of the room to keep from blowing up on you.

It takes a few days and even though you feel completely like shit, you dont bother him

He finally comes around and just holds you tightly

No words or anything

His gesture is enough to let you know he forgives you.

He gets a new one immediately and is more careful when it comes to letting you mess with alone though lmao

Decides to do the little draw my life video and moves people to tears without trying

He thought his trauma was normal pfft

While that gets to people, what really affects his audience is when he get to how you make him feel

"If I can describe Y/n with one word, I'd have to say sunshine. You know that feeling when you've seen nothing but depressing rainstorms for months at a time but just that one day, the sun pokes out and shows that the world isn't so gloomy and bad. It's actually quite beautiful. The sun manages to make those sad raindrops look like diamonds. Thats Y/n to me. She makes the days where I feel at my worst better in every way. "

Eren suffers from a couple mental illnesses which is why he donates to their respected charities

He suffers from ADHD, Depression, and Anger issues.

Now you can't just magically make all of his issues go away but you being around does soothe him in a special way

Not many people can do that and LOTS have tried

But you just manage to get him in ways he cant explain

Even the videos with all of his friends involved, his focus on you

Fans can tell when you guys are not together during streams

Eren's temper is a lot shorter and he pops off quickly.

And of course he just so happens to play "getting over it"

This is one of those times he gets cancelled

Coochie-manz63: wow ur trash

"You're literally someone who hides behind a fucking screen to talk shit but I know if I was in front of you; there would be no exchange because if you so much looked at me wrong, I would have beaten your ass into fucking next year, you dyslexic fucking waste of space. Learn how to goddamn spell before you try to talk shit again."

IloveYEAGGGGER23: Damn..

You ended up being the one to clean up his mess, yet again

"Eren is very sorry for his actions, He understands how his words can be hurtful to others.. Right babe?"

"Huh? Oh um yeah.. My bad ig."

After the apology video, you give Eren one of your famous lectures.

"Eren you can't treat others like that just because you get a little upset. Remember what your therapist said about controlling your temper. You can't just do it when I'm around, you have to do it all the time.

Now Eren loves you to pieces but your lectures just do not help his ADHD mind.

So to shut you up, he does the only thing he knows how

Takes your breath and thoughts away with his passionate kisses.

His pattern is always the same

He pretends to listen, nodding occasionally, stands up and moves closer to you.

Grabs your jaw gently and tips your head back before capturing your lips into a sheering kiss that always leaves you breathless

"What were we talking about?"

"We were just going to get some food."

You're just as weak for Eren as he is for you <3

[mmvalentine]

The Bargain Pt 3 | Feysand

Modern AU. Part 1 Part 2 Part 4

The next time Feyre walked into the shop, Rhys smiled despite himself.

One of the things that he liked about his job was that you really only had to deal with one person at a time, and when that person happened to be cool, it made for a very easy day.

Feyre's first session had been a lovely afternoon. She had sat well, he was into the design the were making, and he just thought she was great to be around.

The down side, was that he really was stuck on how beautiful she was. Sure, he sometimes found his clients attractive. But usually he would focus in on the tattoo and forget what they actually looked like within the first five or ten minutes.

Feyre was different. Rhys couldn't put his finger on exactly why, but with her arm on the table palm up, he kept wanting to touch her fingers.

Maybe it was something to do with the relationship that she had hinted at, and how it instantly reminded him of the five years he spent with Aramantha. And how sure he was that no one deserved to be in a relationship like that. Maybe it was because she was so small, and imagining her in his position triggered a strange feeling in his chest, a sort of protectiveness that he didn't know he would feel for a complete stranger.

His therapist might say that he was projecting his past self onto her. His therapist might be very impressed that he had that insight.

Either way, Rhys couldn't help but grin when he came down the stairs after putting some needles in the autoclave, and there Feyre was sitting in the waiting room.

"Okay, it looks pretty good!" Rhys said to her, once he had her sitting on his bench. Feyre smiled. "Yeah, I still like it." "Well that is very lucky, because it's kind of permanent," Rhys told her. "You know I was prepared for the pain but I didn't realise how itchy it was going to get," Feyre said. "Oh yes I wasn't going to tell you because then you might not have got it," Rhys deadpanned. "The itch is worse than the pain."

Feyre laughed then, blushed a little and looked down so that a honey coloured curl fell over her face and suddenly, Rhys thought maybe he should have made her the sun instead of the moon.

"Okay so, what are we doing today?" Feyre asked. "Well," Rhys replied, "I reckon we'll get most of the shading done today. And then we'll do one more session for some finer shading and detailing." "Sounds good to me," Feyre said, and then she lay down on the bench.

Rhys worked for a few minutes in silence, and knew he shouldn't ask the question. Knew it was none of his business. Yet, in his most causal tone, he still asked.

"How's that boyfriend of yours?"

Feyre said nothing for a moment. Then, "Well, he doesn't like the tattoo." She flashed him a grin, but it didn't reach her eyes.

Rhys frowned. "Not a fan of my handiwork, huh?"

Feyre turned her eyes back to the ceiling. "He said I should have asked him first." "Why would you have to ask him when you make decisions about your own body?" Feyre rolled her eyes. "I know right?" she said, but again, a sadness tugged at the corners of her mouth.

Rhys was just wondering if he should voice concern, or change the subject, when Feyre took a deep breath, plastered a smile over her face and said, "Anyway, how's the painting going?"

Okay, so she didn't want to talk about it.

"It's not," Rhys admitted. "I've changed nothing at all since I last saw you." "Why not?" Feyre asked. "I don't know, I'm always so busy drawing for tattoos that I don't really get time to just sit and make things for myself." "I think you have time for what you make time for," Feyre said. "I can't argue with that," Rhys responded.

"What about you," he asked, turning her arm slightly, Feyre winced as he moved into the soft skin near her elbow crease. "Sorry," he said. "Keep talking, it helps to focus your mind on other things."

"I'm always painting," Feyre said. "It's my happy place." "What have you been working on?"" Rhys asked her. "Ummmm," Feyre reached out with her free hand and grabbed her phone. She showed him some pictures of her most recent works in progress, and Rhys paused his machine and stared.

"Wait, this is you?" he asked in astonishment. "I follow you on instragram!" Feyre blinked. "You do? I don't have that many followers, how did I not notice my favourite tattoo artist is following me?" Rhys laughed, and resumed shading. "I have a personal account as well as a professional account. That's so cool, I love your work."

"Wow," Feyre said. "Well that is... that is kind of a trip." Rhys laughed. "I love your colours," he said. "I work mostly in black and grey, so I really love what you do." Feyre shook her head. "People pay you to have your art permanently etched into their skin," she said. "You have thousands of followers and a three month waiting list. I think you win."

Rhys just laughed. "Well, I'll be your biggest fan," he said. "So, what have you got in the pipelines?"

Feyre put her phone away and settled back. "Let's see," she said. "I'm working on something seaside themed at the moment." "I knew it," Rhys said. "I should have drawn you sunshine." "No!" Feyre said quickly. "I love the design you made me. The beach and the sun are great and I'm always thinking about traveling. But the night time is beautiful wherever you are."

Rhys smiled down at the spot he was working on. "It's what I drew when I thought of you, after meeting you that first day," he said. "Okay tell me more about this seaside painting."

"Well, I'm trying a new thing where I really build up the paint and get into the textures and scuptural qualities of it," Feyre said. "Acrylic or oil?" Rhys asked. "I wanted to do oil," Feyre said, "it'd stand up better I think. But if I'm going to be lathering it on, acrylic is just so much cheaper. Plus can you imagine how long the oils would take to dry if I layered them?" "Very true," Rhys conceded. "You can have some of my old paints if you like, I never use them anyway."

But Feyre shook her head. "Thanks, but I'm not giving you an excuse not to paint."

Rhys laughed at this. "Fine, fine," he said. "Well I look forward to seeing what you make. Maybe one day you'll be the one designing me a tattoo."

As it had last time, the session flew by. For Rhys, anyway, who was not on the pointy end of the machines. They got through more than he expected, and then suddenly, he was wrapping her up and she was counting cash onto his bench.

"Alright," he said. "You know the drill. Hot shower. Rewrap before bed. Twice daily shower and salve for the rest of the week." Feyre nodded. "I've still got the flyer," she said. "Good. And I'll see you in a month for one last session."

Feyre shrugged her coat on, gingerly over her arm, and gave Rhys a smile so soft it broke his heart a little.

"I almost don't want it to end," she said. "You want me to keep hurting you!?" Rhys joked. Feyre smiled. "Well no I guess I won't miss that part," she said.

And then she waved at him before walking out the door, and Rhys was left to wonder what, if not the tattooing part, she would miss.

****

Oh yes we are slowly introducing the fluff times!

MASTERLIST

TAGLIST: @ghostlyrose2 @highladysith @stardelia @feysand-loml @tillyrubes10 @ratabrasileira @live-the-fangirl-life @maybekindasortaace @annejulianneh111 @thebonecarver @rowaelinismyotp @loosingdreams @whythefuckdoiexist @inejsarrow @swankii-art-teacher @sjmships @courtofjurdan @teddytdr @positivewitch @thalia-2-rose @darling-archeron @rapunzel1523 @fairchildjace

[rantingwriter]

Accidentally in Love (Hawks x Civilian Reader) pt. 2

Trigger Warning: Strong language, long hospital stay, lots of anger, depression, and more angst than last time. I swear there will be fluff later...starting in pt. 4.

 “Damn it,” you grumble as you try to support your weight with the parallel bars. 

“You are doing great, [y/n], just a little bit more.” Mayu, one of the physical therapists helping you with your recovery does her best to encourage you. 

The door slams open and you lose your concentration, collapsing to the floor. “Fuck!” 

Mayu cringes at the angered tone, “Ryo!!” 

The man who barged into the room bows apologetically, “I’m so sorry, I was running late,” he hurries off to the changing room for the employees. 

You feel your frustration boiling over, “this is pointless!” 

Mayu turns her attention back to you and her features soften, “Please don’t say that, you’ve only been at this for a week and you are making good progress.” Her positivity only serves to frustrate you more.

“What progress?! I can’t even stand for longer than a couple minutes at a time!”

“I understand your frustration-” 

��How could you possibly understand this?!” You gesture wildly at your legs. “You can stand and walk and you still have both of your feet!” Your chest rises and falls rapidly as you glare at the therapist. 

She simply sits on the floor with you and gives you a very soft smile. “You are right, I will never understand fully what you are going through. So, tell me, what is causing the most frustration and I can do what I can to help.” 

“All of it!” You raise your arms up like you are surrendering. “Trying to stand on these limp noodles, trying to get out of my stupid wheel chair, even getting out of bed…” Your anger quickly morphs to sadness, “it’s just too hard…” Mayu gently pats your shoulder. 

“It’s a process,” She shifts to sit next to you. “Healing can be a very long and difficult process, especially when you lose an ability you’ve been able to do so easily until now.” You feel a lump form in your throat, trying really hard not to cry...again. “I’m not going to lie and say this is easy, but I know you can do this.” 

You wipe your eyes and sniffle, “I’m sorry for yelling…” 

“It’s alright, I understand you are frustrated, but I am here to help.” The employee door opens again. “So is Ryo when he actually shows up on time.” The teasing tone and Ryo’s exaggerated response brings out a soft ghost of a laugh. “Are you ready to give it another try?” 

“Yeah, I guess,” she helps to get you off the floor and on your shaky feet. You grab the parallel bars and repeat the exercise you’ve been doing all morning. A light tap on the window near your station alerts both yourself and your physical therapist to a note on the glass. “What does it say?” You feel your arms give out, but you are able to land in your wheelchair this time.

“Let’s see,” The older woman walks up to read it aloud, “when you are free, please come to the roof. HaWkS!?” Her voice cracks at the name, “who, wait, who is he talking about?!” 

You hold your hand up, “probably me, he said he was going to pop by once I was awake.” You were starting to think he forgot about you. 

“Oh my goodness!” Mayu covers her mouth and looks at you, “are you two friends? Are you dating?!” She gets closer with each question, her eyes shiny diamonds that scream ‘tell me everything!’ 

“He kind of gave me a concussion,” you watch her expression drop into one of horror. “Not on purpose, it was during that big fight that landed me here.” 

“I see, well, we are actually done for today if you want to head on up.” She goes to grab her clipboard and record the progress from today. 

“Does the elevator even reach the roof?” You can feel a knot form in your stomach, why are you so nervous? 

“Yes, the recreational therapy team has a community garden up there for the patients. I can get you some information if you would like to join them for a session.” You never heard of such a thing, it does strike a cord of curiosity, but that is for another time. 

“Sure, just send some to my room when you have the time,” you wheel your way to the exit. “Oh, and uh...thanks for the pep talk.” You rub the back of your neck to hide your embarrassment. 

“No problem, if you need anything just let me know.” Mayu smiles and waves as you leave to go up to the roof. Sure enough, the elevator opens right in front of the door. You push the button to get the door open and find rows of box gardens, some raised, some lowered. 

“Wow, this is neat,” you take a closer look at some of the plants bearing fruit, when you spot your mystery visitor. Your eyes are instantly drawn to the huge red wings on his back. The same ones you saw before you went into your coma. You clench the wheels of your chair and swallow your nerves. “Um…” He appears distracted by something, as he scans the city streets below, his feet hovering off the ground. “Hello? Are you Hawks?” He looks over his shoulder and his features light up with recognition. 

“Hey! Glad to see you up and about!” He lands and folds his wings in a bit before approaching you.

“Yeah, mostly…” You weren’t entirely sure what to say to him. 

He doesn’t seem too sure either as he pockets his gloved hands. “Uh, what’s your name?” 

“[Y/n].” More silence follows, wow the awkward tension is a little too palpable. “Why exactly are you here?” 

He looks taken aback, his wings puffing up a small bit, “I just wanted to see how you were doing.” 

“Well, as you can see, I’m doing just great.” You can’t help the sarcasm as you move your wheelchair. 

His features fall, his eyes aimed towards what’s left of your feet. “I’m so sorry, I made a bad judgment call and you got hurt because of it. Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?” 

“Unless you have some means to turn back time, there isn’t much you can do.” 

“There has to be something,” he lifts his gaze back up to plead with you. “I’ll do anything, just say the word.” 

You can’t tell if he is being genuine or not, before you can open your mouth a glint of something from the nearby building catches your attention. You wheel closer to the fence that lines the top of the building and spot a man with a camera aimed at the two of you. You whip your head around to face him, “is this some kind of joke to you?!” 

“What?” His golden-brown hues are full of confusion as you struggle to turn your wheelchair around. 

“Look, if you just came to Peacock for the camera’s or throw some kind of a pity party for yourself. I don’t want any part of it!” He looks between you and the nearby building, his feathers get ruffled at the sight of the camera. 

“No, wait, this isn’t what it looks like!” He holds a hand out to try and stop you from leaving. 

“Thanks for checking in, you can leave now.” You try to wheel your way back inside, but something is caught in one of your wheels. 

“I swear I’m not with that guy, he must have noticed me fly up here after I left my note.”

You aren’t paying any attention to him, you are too focused on getting away. “Stupid thing,” you try to muscle through the clog, but you end up tipping the whole thing over and landing on the hard surface of the roof. “Son of a bitch!” You slam a closed fist on the ground as you push yourself up. Tears of frustration and pain leak from your [e/c] pools. You feel a gloved hand on your shoulder but you quickly shove it away. “Don’t touch me!” 

“Please just let me help you,” he tries to reach for you again, but you stop him in his tracks.

“I’ve had enough of your help! Your ��help’ is the reason I’m here!!” Your voice echoes around you, you wouldn’t be surprised if the camera man heard you. 

You can see the hurt in the hero's eyes as he backs away, his wings drooping as your words settle somewhere deep within himself. 

“Just go away…” you get your wheelchair back up and haul yourself into it again. You can hear the sound of his wings as he takes off, the force of the air blows your hair all over the place. You cover your face as you allow the tears to flow freely. If you were completely honest with yourself, you didn’t truly blame him. It was just easier than accepting your rotten luck. A couple of nurses hurry onto the roof and rush over to you. Apparently someone on the street heard you and told the staff in the lobby. You are immediately wheeled back to your room to rest and have your vitals checked. Your body is exhausted and so was the rest of you. You look out your window at the clouds rolling in, “nurse?” 

“Yes?” The kind man responds as he gets your table ready for dinner. 

“Would it be possible to send a letter to a hero agency?” 

He hums in thought for a moment, “I believe so, why?” 

“I...was just curious…” The nurse drops the topic and leaves you to your thoughts. “Doubt it would make a difference anyways.” You roll onto your side as your eyelids drooped, the sound of rain lulling you to sleep. Your dinner is left for you on the little table, along with a can of coffee with another note. ‘I still owe you a coffee, good luck with your recovery. -Hawks.’

[beanie-beebo-writes]

Call for Action

Series Summary: You finally get your dream job, but it comes with a cost.

Warnings: Description of panic attack

Masterlist

Chapter 2

It was a nightmare that set you off the next day. Even though you couldn't remember it, you knew there was no way you could go into work that day, which was a nightmare in itself. Your second day on the job and your anxiety already had to butt itself in at the worst possible time, of course. 

You tried anyway, knowing how vital your job was to the process of the series being made. You didn't even bother with breakfast, knowing it would upset your stomach even further. You took a cup of coffee to go just in case, fearing if you drank it, the jitters would only add to your anxieties.

On set, everybody was mostly in their places except for a few PAs as always. You had forgotten to check your phone, so you went to the front office yet again to pick up another schedule. The day was already turning out to be a wreck and it barely started yet. Thankfully, Paul noticed you weren't in much of a talkative mood and let you be in your thoughts this morning. 

The schedule was even busier today, making your heart drop into your stomach. You knew a panic attack wasn't far, but you didn't have much time. You tried to forget about it as you ran to the stage for today. Your heart was pounding, and no amount of breathing exercises could quell the deep settled anxiety. You knew people were starting to notice, but your thoughts were too loud to pay much attention. 

"Alright, is everyone in their places?" You called aloud, still out of breath.

"Just about, give us less than five!" An A.V tech said from somewhere.

"That's fine." You said.

It gave you a minute to try and control your racing thoughts, if that was even possible. You bent over and held your knees as you tried to control everything bubbling inside you. Great, look at you. Someone definitely noticed that you're acting weird, next thing you know you'll be outcasted and fired. Hell, maybe even blacklisted if you decide to keep up this charade of job to job. Maybe-

A hand to your shoulder rescued you from drowning to the depths of darkness, startling you in the process. You stood up a little too quickly, starting to see dark spots. You blinked them away and looked up at your savior. And of course, it was Jensen.

"Hey I just-" He began before taking in your appearance. "What's wrong?"

You inhaled a deep breath, finding calm in his voice. "It's nothing, just a bad day." You said.

"Are you sure? Because it seems like a bit more than that." He said.

Your thoughts faintly began to start up again. "No, it's okay really. Get to your mark, Jensen." You said, half reassuring yourself and him.

"Alright, just remember what we talked about yesterday." He said.

You nodded and waited until he walked away to pull out a compact mirror, something you kept on yourself for situations like these. Yes everyone had already been likely staring at you when you had a moment, but you didn't want more lingering eyes if your panic attack had screwed up your appearance.

You wanted to roll your eyes in sheer embarrassment. You looked like you had run a mile and you had begun to cry. You thanked yourself that you didn't wear makeup like other higher ups, as you were sure it would be more noticeable. Before anyone could take notice, you set the mirror back down and made your way to the director's chair.

"Alright, everyone set?" You asked aloud.

You got a bunch of affirmative replies before making the decision to call "action" for the scene to start. 

Sam and Dean sat in a motel room, arguing about the aspects of a current case.

"There is no way you're going in on this one solo. Absolutely not." Dean said, throwing his arms up.

"Dean, you said it yourself. Going with two people is just asking for trouble. They'll instantly catch on and it'll blow our cover. I understand needing backup but.. I got this." Sam replied.

"For the last time Sam, no." Dean said.

Interrupting their argument was one of Dean's ringing cell phones; it was Bobby Singer.

"Yeah?" Dean asked.

"Well, I found that information you wanted, turns out they are also killed with silver to the heart." Bobby said on the other line.

"Yeah, that's easy." Dean said sarcastically. "So did you hear about this genius plan of Sam's?"

Bobby sighed tiredly. "What now?" 

"He wants to go in under cover, but when guns go blazing, no backup." Dean said animatedly.

"Well, he may have a good point you know." Bobby said.

"Excuse me? Bobby, that's suicide!" Dean argued.

"You watch your tone with me, boy." Bobby said. "You said the place is like an underground bar, right?"

"Yeah but-" Dean began.

"And that means he already is going to stick out like a sore thumb. Two of you would mean you're dead meat. He only needs the alpha and the rest will scatter. Now which plan sounds like suicide again?" Bobby asked.

Dean was silent, knowing there was no use arguing with the aged hunter.

"That's what I thought. You can stand by, just give him a lot of space outside the building. Got it?" Bobby said.

"Yeah Bobby." Dean said defeatedly.

"Good. Let me know how it goes." Bobby said.

"We will, talk to you later." Dean said.

"Bye, and be safe ya idjits." Bobby said, ending the call.

And then everything was quiet, too quiet. You felt a nudge from next to you bring you back to the modern world.

"And scene!" You called out, cheeks tinged slightly pink. "Sorry guys, got swept away there."

"You're good, we can just cut it later in editing." Bob Singer said, standing up from his chair.

"Cool. Alright everyone, settle for a minute and then we'll start scene 26." You called out to the stage.

--------

Before you knew it, lunchtime had rolled around again. This time though, you made the move to sit by Jensen and Jared, who had beat you to the table first. They were in a light conversation before you asked to sit with them.

"Of course (Y/N)." Jared had said.

They were currently talking about some sports team that you didn't follow; you listened in and tried to understand where you could.

"Who's your favorite team?" Jared asked.

"Oh, I don't really follow sports, it isn't really my thing." You admitted.

"Aw really? Bummer, another one." Jared teased.

"Hey, knock it off." Jensen said lightly.

"No, it's okay, I know he's only joking." You said, smiling at Jared.

"Okay, just checking." Jensen said with a wink.

Your heart flipped sideways and missed a beat. If you didn't have anxiety, you would have never distinguished the feelings you were starting to feel towards Jensen. Your feelings with crushes were always different from your anxiety, and yet so similar at the same time. Sometimes you wondered how you could tell the difference.

You still remembered the first time you had a crush. You were a late bloomer, so it didn't happen until 7th grade. You were so confused; anxiety was always something you were used to that when you were hit with all of these feel-good endorphins along with the anxieties, you threw up. Literally, in front of half of the grade and your crush, Nathan Sullivan. You had bumped into him in the middle of your moving-up ceremony in the middle-school hallway. You had wanted to say everything and nothing all at once, and ironically your brain chose to vomit instead. Now that you thought about it, you wondered that's where some of your current anxieties began.

With Jensen, it wasn't that different in a sense. You felt all of the bubbling emotions, the confusing anxieties telling you to either go for it or stay low. But you were past that for the most part. Or maybe it was the fact that Jensen made you feel safe, unlike the other guys. There was just something about him that you couldn't quite understand.

"Hey, have you guys ever dealt with anxiety?" You asked as the conversation headed to a lull.

Jensen swallowed his food before answering. "Actually yeah. About a few years back, maybe even longer, I had this huge fear of what others thought of me."

"Really?" You asked.

"Mhm, anything done on set or stage that was seen as funny to everyone else, was actually a huge anxiety factor for me. I was beyond embarrassed and hated being the one everyone laughed at, even if it was literally for comedy." Jensen explained.

"Oh wow, I never knew it was that bad." Jared said.

"I was too embarrassed to tell you at the time, honestly." Jensen admitted.

"I actually deal with anxiety sometimes too, just not as bad as Jensen." Jared said.

"What helps you guys through it?" You asked.

"Honestly? For me it was therapy, lots of it." He said with a chuckle. "But the main thing I keep with me all the time, is to remember that most people are more likely to be absorbed in their thoughts, than they are paying attention to you or me. At the end of the day, what you do may not even matter to them at the dinner table. And if it does, it does." 

"Wow, that's some good advice." You said.

"Thank my therapist for that one." He said.

"I use a lot of deep breathing techniques, it tends to quell a lot of things for me." Jared said.

"Why you ask? Something on your mind?" Jensen asked.

"No, just curious. My one friend back home deals with this kind of stuff and I figured it would help to know." You stretched a bit. 

"Ah." Jensen said.

"Well, send her some love from us, okay?" Jared asked.

"Of course." You said, finishing up your lunch.

A beat of silence surrounded the three of you.

"Hey, are you busy later?" Jensen asked. "I know you're technically my boss and all.."

You looked up from your food and almost choked. Was Jensen asking you of all people, on a date? This had to be a misunderstanding. Yet again, Jared was practically all over Jensen, just by looking at him with his head in his hands.

"Huh? Uh, no, not really. I usually just pass the time by watching netflix or something I guess." You said.

"You want to grab a bite?"

You felt the tips of your ears burn like a hot stove.

"As a… date? Or…?" You asked.

"Depends." 

"On?"

"Well, do you want it to be?" Jared asked.

"Would it even be appropriate? I mean.. Like you said, I'm practically your boss, Jensen." You said.

"Don't see why it wouldn't be. It's not like you're doing any special favors to get me top role or anything." Jensen said with a knowing smile.

You smiled back and lightly rolled your eyes. Oh, this man is definitely going to be something if I date him. How could you say no?

"Yeah true." You said, probably still with a red face. "Sure, let's make it a date then."

"Yessss!" Jared whispered.

He did a silent victory dance on the way to the trash can and shut the trap closed with his hip. He strode proudly all the way back to the stage as if his son had won a competition. Jensen put his hands over his face a moment and exhaled lightly.

"Just ignore him." He said, muffled behind his hands.

"Couldn't if I wanted to." You said with a giggle.

[getofy]

matchup: #1 - hq boy w/ an extroverted fem reader!

—a/n: wow im genuinely so sorry for taking so long. literally school is ruining my life and i also um,, haven’t been doing the best this past month. i really hope this makes up for it !! it’s kinda long so my bad...also this is NOT proofread lol i apologize if it sucks aaaa.

DISCLAIMER: while this is a personalized matchup, they’re still headcanons, so basically anyone can enjoy them! :]

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hello @/meremoomoo ! you are so cute and tysm for being patient about ur request. i debated who you would go well with for a while, but in the end i came up with...

SUGAWARA KŌSHI!

-

#SUGA: “YOU’RE PERFECT JUST THE WAY YOU ARE!”

#Y/N: “THANK YOU KŌSHI :].”

-

☆ SUGA IS PERFECT FOR YOU, AND HERE IS WHY—

PERSONALITY TYPE:

suga has a personality type of INFJ, which compliments your ENFP personality type well.

“...you may benefit from perseverance in this relationship. your sensitive, sympathetic nature may at times overtake you, leading you to make decisions that feel right but are not really the wisest option. this person, whose approach seems so cold at times, can help you to tune into your powers of objective reasoning and ensure that you are not letting emotions rule your life.” —some website i found

while INFJs are not the most compatible with ESFPs, your other personality type, wonderful things can still come out of INFJ/ESFP dynamics! 

“your differences mean that you actually have a lot to offer one another. your counterpart may inspire you to slow down and think more deeply about the meaning of things, rather than just doing what feels right in the moment. in turn, you can help them to get out of their heads and enjoy life for what it is.” —some website i found

HOW YOU GUYS MET:

sugawara and you did not start off on the right foot at first...

the two of you were in the same class and sat very close to each other so he decided that he really wanted to get to know you.

he also just really likes becoming friends w/ people lol

since you were always laughing loudly with your friends during break time, he deduced that you had a good sense of humor.

he decided that jokes seemed like the right way to get to your heart win you over!

easy enough, right?

wrong.

apparently, he had caught you on a bad day because his attempts to be friendly were not received well. at all.

poor suga.

he does his best to be kind to everybody, but at the same time, he does love to poke fun at others. he probably took one of his jokes too far or something?

or maybe you really were just having a bad day?

who knows.

anyways, after that awkward encounter, he did his best to avoid you.

it’s not that he hated you, it’s just that he thought you hated him. it sort of bummed him out because you seemed cool, but he wanted to be respectful of your feelings!

*sorry it’s not enemies to lovers, but it’s close enough i hope ?

HOW HE DISCOVERED HE LIKED YOU:

the class had finished testing early, so the teacher decided to put on a movie.

AND FOR SOME UNKNOWN REASON THE MOVIE WAS OLD YELLER?!!?!?

(basically it’s just an incredibly depressing dog movie. like, if you’ve never seen it then just imagine the saddest movie you’ve ever seen 10x)

anyways, you ended up crying. very loudly.

sugawara was incredibly concerned for you, since you seemed to be genuinely distraught, but he didn’t say anything

eventually, the teacher caught on to your disarray and excused you from the room so you could go calm yourself down.

after some time, the teacher tells suga to go check up on you to make sure ur not dead or whatever lol (you were taking a while).

he was hesitant to do this since he knew you weren’t too fond of him, but suga decides to do it anyways since he didn’t want to be a disobedient student.

he finds you sitting on a bench with tears streaming down your face

and MAN!!

all at once, suga gets this overwhelming urge to make you feel better. but like, as in, he-never-wants-to-see-you-in-this-kind-of-state again-otherwise-he-might-breakdown kind of urse.

despite not being super close to you, he had gotten so used to your large smiles and extroverted demeanor, that watching you cry felt foreign to him.

he missed your smile.

he soon realizes that seeing you upset hurts him because he genuinely cares about your well-being.

so he decides to make it his personal mission to make you smile again.

suga takes the spot next to you voicelesslyand tries his best to talk you through your dismay.

you don’t seem to mind the company, and to his delight you don’t seem to hate him as much as he thought you did!!

suga is very grateful for this

anyways, he manages to cheer you up, and the tips of your lips turn up into a small grin—just like he wanted them to.

AND BOY OH BOY WHEN THEY DO!!

whew this man’s heart skips a BEAT baby and he is lowkey spiraling lol he’s so confused like why is this girl’s smile making me feel some type of way

he had been so focused on what you thought about him, but he had never once stopped to consider what he thought about you (until this very moment, of course).

turns out suga was incredibly fond of you

yeah, that’s how he knew.

suga brain go brr 4 pretti girl

HOW HE CONFESSES:

you two had been hanging out more frequently as of late

and getting to know you was only making suga‘s crush grow EXPONENTIALLY

after many nights spent in long contemplation, he came to the conclusion that it was time to ‘man-up’ and just rip off the band-aid that was being honest about his feelings.

he buys a single flower (tanaka’s advice) and waits by your locker

very very simple and sweet confession typa beat :(

literally SO nervous pls help . he’s scratching the back of his neck and holding the flower out to you with a slight twinge in his cheeks.

“y/n...i know you weren’t too fond of me at first, but i...i don’t know i think we’re great together! and now that we hang out and stuff i was thinking that maybe we could-“

yeah you cut the poor boy off and said yes to put him out of his misery.

literally verbally celebrates when you accept his flower. does a lil victory dance and everything.

ugh yall r so cute.

AFTER HE CONFESSES:

YOU GUYS GET TOGETHER INSTANTLY WOOOOOO

somehow the most wholesome and chaotic couple to ever exist???

you guys spend like every waking moment together it’s adorable

noya and tanaka would jokingly hit on you and suga would pretend to be actually jealous.

i hc him as being a somewhat possessive-y boyfriend so do w that what you will

total best friend kind of lover but he’s also a sweetheart and rlly romantic + respectful abt ur needs:(

y’all r super comfy w each other !!

WHAT HE LOVES ABOUT YOU:

sugawara is usually the kind of person that’s always there for other people so he appreciates the fact that you’re the same way! you guys bond over your shared therapist/mom-friend tendencies, and quickly become the support systems you so desperately needed prior to getting together.

he’s there to listen to you about your problems and vice versa.

he adores how you can meet and sometimes even exceed his energy. it’s a nice change of pace since he usually gets scolded by daichi. </3

thinks it’s cute how much you care for animals! you’ll often find him staring at you in wonder as you pet a random dog on the street lol.

MISC HEADCANONS:

will spend hours on end watching you play video games on FaceTime. after a while, he ended up buying his own console and now you guys play together!

he’s fairly competitive, and will whine whenever you destroy beat him in a game!

he’s so cute pls

one of his favorite things to do after a long day is sit and play slower paced games such as minecraft and animal crossing with you.

whether it’s about your fav historical monument or about a new show you saw, suga will listen to you talk for hours and never get bored. usually he’s always got something to add to the convo though. sometimes you guys get overly excited together and end up speaking over each other in the same way.!

is INCREDIBLE at getting you to calm down?? like, if you ever need to be put in your place, suga knows exactly what to say to do it. does this make sense? lol. you guys have big ying and yang energy sometimes i feel.

you’re his BIGGEST supporter. whenever he’s put into games, you’re always the LOUDEST one cheering him one.

it really touches him to know that you’ll always be there to root for him!! even mr.refreshing gets down sometimes, so it’s incredible to have someone as positive as you by his side constantly reassuring him.

he’s a big animal person as well so you guys like going to volunteer at shelters together!

this was actually your second date HAHA.

if a dog is within a 40 ft radius from y’all, it is almost guaranteed that you guys will sprint to go pet them.

since you’re both athletic, you guys help each other practice sports together! suga’ll throw u soft toss and help you run drills and hype u up before games. & you’ll help him work on his technique and such <33.

y’all totally gossip together wow. you said you were a bit on the meaner side of the spectrum and lowkey he doesn’t mind AT ALL. he lives for it HAHAHAHA.

he literally thinks you’re stunning so it upsets him whenever you get insecure, but he’s always got the right thing to say to cheer you up! genuinely just,,,, so good with his words. if you’re having a bad night, he’s ready to come to your rescue with a gentle smile and funny one-liner and maybe a documentary if you’re lucky enough.

in his eyes, everything about you is beautiful. your hair. your freckles. your body. your laugh. your smile. everything!! he’s going to do whatever it takes for you to love yourself in the same way he loves you.

this man so whipped smh 🙄🙄

tl;dr: suga thinks you hate him. you don’t. you start hanging out. he confesses to you by the lockers. you start dating. you are infinitely better at gaming than he is and will never let him forget it.

YOUR ANTHEMS (in no particular order):

darling by christian leave

pleasantries (with your lover) by mustard service

upside down by jack johnson

sunflower, vol.6 by harry styles

what do you like in me? by nasty cherry

MOODBOARD:

pic 1 | pic 2 | pic 3 | pic 4

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—CONGRATS! YOU’VE WON THE HEART OF ONE OF THE PRETTIEST SETTERS ON THE BLOCK. TREAT HIM WELL! ☆

*do not repost my work without proper credit and my explicit premission

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[amazedforjjk]

Black Crow - Yoongi

Summary: It’s not often you stumble upon a handsome tied up man in your parking lot in the dead of the night. What adventures this mysterious stranger is going to embark you on?

Genre: mafia!Yoongi, angst, humor, a tiny tiny hint of fluff

Warnings: Strong language, violence, blood and injuries, mentions of abuse and torture, tragic backstory, snarky Yoongi

A.N: Black Crow is finally here!! I’m so excited for you guys to read it! I’ll go on a hiatus for about two weeks but I’ll be back, don’t worry! I already have a new story idea I’m excited about!! Please tell me what you thought of Black Crow, I love interacting with you guys!!

Word count: 14K

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10:43 pm

It’s pitch black when you step out through the big glass doors of your office complex and the only way you manage to put a foot in front of the other without falling on your face is thanks to your flashlight on your phone. Everyone is already gone by now, and you should be as well but your boss had asked you to stay later tonight, because that fucker isn’t able to prepare a powerpoint by himself. Fucking boomers and their inability to use a computer. You huff in frustration as your heels click on the ground. You try to readjust your tight skirt by pulling at the edge. You hate this office with a passion, from your boss to his abject dress code. You absolutely despise having to dress in a tighter than normal grey skirt along with dark pantyhoses and a white blouse just for him to ogle you and your female coworkers. Your scalp hurts from having to pull your hair in a tight bun everyday.

Your heels are so fucking painful after a day of working, your boss making a point of having you run around the open space for different files that he strangely doesn’t need merely five minutes after asking you for them. You are not his assistant either, so you shouldn’t have to do anything for his fat ass but he holds your career in his hands, promising you the position you aspired towards for the past year without ever committing to his word. You huff again as you try to find your car in the dark, holding your phone between your shoulder and your cheek while you rummage in your purse to find your keys. Your office’s neighborhood isn’t exactly unsafe at night but you’d rather be home as fast as possible.

Admittedly, no one’s waiting for you there, except your bed and a comfy pair of pants, but you still sigh in contentment when you find the button to open your car. You get in in a hurry, throwing your bag across on the passenger seat and starting the car up. You already feel more relaxed in your car, removing your painful heels to drive. Your ankles are covered in blisters for sure and the tight fabric of your pantyhose pressing against the tender skin makes you grit your teeth. You drive home in a hurry, certainly not very safely but you don’t seem to care tonight, still fueled on the rage you piled up inside you today.

It’s definitely not your dream job, but a writer’s salary doesn’t pay the bills, at least not yours. And it’s not that bad; Sure you hate everyone in this office but the work in itself is okay, and the paycheck is worth the trouble. It’s thanks to that that you are two steps from owning your apartment in the center of the city, currently reimbursing your loan from the bank. It’s also why you need that new position; Bigger responsibilities but a bigger paycheck and flexible hours, perfect for an aspiring writer. Most importantly, you’ll don’t have to do anything for your asshole of a boss anymore.

You park in your parking spot down your building complex, calming down as you retrieve your keys from the ignition. You sigh. Sometimes you think you let the rage of your job consume you because it masks the loneliness overflowing from you everytime you come back home. You shouldn’t feel that way; you are the one who decided to move thousands of miles away from your parents. You are the country girl who decided to flee her small town to settle in the big city. You are not the only one, most of your friends moved as well, but not to the capital and sometimes you feel really alone. Even if you live in an over crowded city you can’t seem to find people to talk to other than a therapist.

You sigh as you slip your uncomfortable heels back on, stepping out of your car with your bag. You don’t notice at first the grunts and sounds of straining as you close your door and lock the car, but when you do you still instantly. Your eyes scan all around you while you strain your ears to find the origin of the noise. It sounds like a man is struggling against something, huffing and puffing in frustration.

The parking lot is empty and dimly lit, which is not unusual at this time of the night. You grab your phone tightly in your hand. The screen reads 11:07 pm before you tap on the emergency button. You don’t call the cops yet, but you feel a bit more reassured now that they are only a phone call away. You tentatively step closer to the trunk of your car towards the sound, steadying your breathing to be as silent as you can. Surely the person making the sound has already heard you arriving in your car and knows you are here but the fear gnawing your stomach keeps you from thinking straight. You forget about your painful heels, the rage of the day and your loneliness to focus entirely on the sounds . You can tell the man is still struggling, grunts and curse words alike becoming louder.

The deep voice spits a “Fuck!” and a car two rows away from yours sways lightly as if someone pushed against it. Having finally located the source of the sound you approach the car slowly, only stopping when you are close enough to determine what’s happening. A man is sitted against the back door of said car, head turned to look at his hands behind his back while struggling so that you can only see his raven hair. From the rope tied around his shoulders, you gather that his hands must be tied up as well and that he must be trying, with no success thus far, to break free.

He doesn’t seem to have noticed you yet, and you take advantage of that to figure out what the hell you are supposed to do in this situation. You could call the cops, leave him in their hands and he’ll be fine. Or you could try to free him from his bonds, there’s no need to get the police involved if it’s only a bad prank gone wrong. You glance at the chains around his neck; a silver skull is on the biggest of them and you can’t help but gulp. He could be dangerous… Like a gang member? Who else wears chains and skulls nowadays? Or he could be in danger, you realize as you notice a big dark stain on his khaki shirt. Wait, is that blood?

You let out an involuntary squeak as the stain seems to get even bigger. Your eyes widen when you realize how much you fucked up and you bring your hands to your mouth as if it would silence you but it’s too late. At the sound the man snaps his head in your direction, his grey eyes instantly finding yours. His brows are furrowed in both frustration and surprise, making him look intimidating. What shocks you the most though is the huge scar coming from his forehead to his cheekbone. You can’t help but take a step back, your hands falling to your sides, revealing your gaping mouth.

His eyes scour you and his eyebrows relax when he seems to understand that you pose no threat to him, but he still doesn’t talk. He gets up from where he was sitting, using the car behind him for support, gritting his teeth together in effort. You take another step back and your rear meets the car behind you. He looks much more intimidating now; he isn’t particularly tall nor is he very broad but his stance makes him terrifying. Your instincts are screaming at you to run away, that he is dangerous, but it’s like you are glued in place, unable to move. It’s only when he winces in pain again, surely from the wound on his side that you regain your ability to form coherent thoughts.

He is tied up and wounded; The man’s not a lot of a threat for you right now. A kick in his groin and you should be able to get home without a problem. You gulp before breaking the silence.

“You are wounded… It looks bad” is all you can muster tentatively. Silence.

Wow, that was lame, you internally cringe. He simply cocks an eyebrow and a smirk appears on his lips.

“Yeah, no shit”

You stammer and you feel your face heat up. Unable to find a witty comeback, you just huff, crossing your arms on your chest.

“Look, you need help or not?” you say simply but that is enough to wipe the smirk off his lips. It’s his turn to huff before looking away from you and you wonder how he could seem so intimidating earlier. He turns around, not without difficulty, facing away from you in an incredible demonstration of trust, displaying his tied up hands and you warily step towards him.

“Don’t try anything, I have a taser in my purse,” you bluff, eyeing the ropes currently cutting into his chafed wrists. The ropes are bloodied and you question how long he was trying to break free for. His shoulders move up and down as he laughs.

“I’ll be good,” he says, his voice filled with sarcasm. You roll your eyes. He is way too sassy for someone presently tied up.

You start to tug at his binds, trying to find the knot to let him free. He grunts as you put pressure on the damaged skin of his wrists. You look up from his wrist to look at him. He is turned but you can see his strained face in the car window’s reflection. Now that you can see him from a closer perspective, he looks abnormally livid, eyes unfocused and panting. He looks like he’s about to pass out, you note. Wait, he is passing out! You barely have the time to catch him before one of his knees falters.

“Hey hey hey- Dude? Are you okay?” you ask, voice full with concern. He mumbles, quite clearly unable to talk. “Fuck” you curse under your breath. You’ll deal with the rope later, you need to treat his wound. You grab his shoulder, trying to get him to lean on you and you start to walk to your apartment complex. He doesn’t even try to complain, and you are grateful; It’s already too difficult to carry his weight in your flimsy heels, especially without a good grasp on him. The ropes around him make it difficult for you to hold him steady, and he almost fell a few times when you tried to get a better grip.

Your perfect bun is ruined by the time you reach the elevator, and you are panting from the effort. Who’d have thought having to drag a semi conscious man across a fucking parking lot would be so difficult? The elevator ride provides you with a break, and you simply keep him against the wall while you catch your breath. His face is lolling forward, chin pressed against his chest. He still looks white as a sheet and you start to worry. Was it really a good idea to bring him home? You are capable of treating wounds, that’s not the problem, but if his wound is too deep or if he needs a blood transfusion you won’t be able to do anything.

“Shit, I should’ve brought you to the hospital,” you say, mainly to yourself as you stare at the elevator’s mirror.

“NO!” he shouts, making your head snap to look at him, alarmed. He managed to lift his head to look at you, his grey eyes burning with a fiery determination. “No hospital,” he repeats, and you nod at him, disconcerted. He calms after your nod, his head sinking back down to his chest.

Entering your apartment was a challenge; You had to hold the black haired man against the wall with your side while you searched your purse for your keys. He almost fell when you found them and forgot to press into him against the wall to open the door. Thankfully for him you realised your mistake early enough, dropping both your keys and bag to keep him from crashing on the wooden floor. You are also grateful none of your neighbours decided to take a midnight stroll, or they would have seen you pressing a tied up and passed out man against the wall with your body while desperately trying to open the door. Hardly something you want to be remembered by.

You plop the unconscious man on the couch unceremoniously, forgetting for a second his wound. You wince when you realise your mistake, but thankfully the man is too out of it to make one of his snarky comments. You retrieve your first aid kit from the bathroom and take advantage of his state to treat his wound. It is not too deep so you are able to patch it up without having to stitch him up. You’ve never been so happy to have a nurse as a mother, having learned most of your healing skills from her. You conclude, relieved, that his passing out is mostly due to the shock rather than excessive blood loss, since he didn’t seem to have a concussion when he talked to you. Adrenaline must have kept him in a conscious state of mind until he realized you didn’t mean any harm.

You cut through the rope with a kitchen knife, taking the opportunity to inspect him for any more injuries. You treat his wrists with an antiseptic cream before bandaging them. He is not otherwise severely harmed, though he does sport some nasty bruises on his --surprisingly toned-- chest. What the fuck happened to him?

You sit back on the ground, facing him, when you finally finish your check-up. His breathing is steady and he seems to have regained a splash of color on his face. You take the opportunity to take a better look at him. His features are sharp though he does have a cute button nose and cute pink lips. You shake your head to chase those thoughts. What is wrong with you, checking out a passed out man?

You check for his temperature before sighing. You are incredibly tired, the day was already exhausting as it is, nevermind with this sudden encounter. You decide against putting away the kitchen knife, instead taking it with you to your room. You are nice, not stupid, and though you don’t feel in danger anymore, you are not the one to take unnecessary risks.

It’s already well past midnight when you go to sleep, knife under your pillow. You hope your guest on the couch will wake up early as you need to be up early tomorrow for your job. You’d like him to be gone as soon as possible, men like this only mean trouble. Sure you’d like to know a bit more about him, like how did he wind up in your parking lot at 11pm tied up and injured. But you know the saying, ‘curiosity killed the cat’, and you value your comfortable life too much to put it in jeopardy for a man’s backstory. Who knows what could happen?

-----------------------------------------------

You wake up late the next morning. After a quick shower and almost falling flat on your ass trying to get dressed as fast as possible, you sprint out your room into the living room. The couch is empty and you smile to yourself. He’s gone. Good. It’s one less thing for you to worry about so you dart through the door, trying to make it in time before getting chewed out by your boss for arriving 3 minutes late.

You manage to sit at your desk one minute before the start of your shift and you sigh. Here we go again, another day of having to deal with dumbasses. Despite the fact that you woke up late, the rest of the day proves to be quite good. Instead of being his usual manipulative asshole self, your boss decides to ask you in his office to talk about your well deserved promotion, and tells you that an interview is set for you tomorrow in order to decide whether or not you should get the job. You spend the rest of the day on cloud nine, excastic to finally see your hard work rewarded.

You rush home after another hard day of work, sleep deprived and craving the comfort of your covers. It seems however that fate has other plans for you, you realise when you open the door to fall on last night’s guest. He was still here. Shit. He is comfortably seated on your couch, feet on the table while he’s watching TV. Eyes wide, you drop your bag on the floor.

“What the fuck are you still doing here?! I thought you were gone!” you shout at him. He nonchalantly eyes you up and down, smirking at your crestfallen expression.

“You locked me in this morning,” he answers simply. “I couldn’t open the door to get out.”

The way he pronounces these words without a care in the world leads you to believe he mustn't have tried really hard to get out. You bring your hands to rub your face, feeling anger building up within you. Who does he think he is?

“You have a nice place,” he says gesturing around him with his hand. “Also, you shouldn’t keep a knife under your pillow, it’s dangerous,” he adds, brows furrowed in fake concern.

“You went in my room?!” you ask, clearly fuming. The nerve of this guy!

“Of course, I had to make sure I couldn’t find another exit”, he says, as if it was obvious. This guy is seriously getting on your last nerve, and you grit your teeth, trying to avoid exploding in his face. He seems to pick up on your aggravated state and his face becomes serious. He lifts his feet from the table, standing up to move closer to face you.

“Thank you for last night. I owe you a lot”

He bows slightly and it’s like your anger evaporates, making way for your curiosity to take over.

“Yeah about that… What happened to you last night?” His face hardens instantly and his whole body stiffens. He seems to ponder what to say for a while, obviously not quite ready to let you in on the situation.

“I can’t tell you--”

“I think you owe me that much” you retort, interrupting his refusal. He huffs and thinks for a bit more time.

“You’re right. But don’t say I didn’t warn you. I had... uh...  Some troubles... With a gang”

By the way he forces the words out of his mouth, you figure this is the most you’ll get out of him right now. It does make sense in a way, and you are now glad you could help him. You hum in acknowledgment and he seems relieved to know you won’t ask anymore questions. It’s his business anyway, and you already know enough.

“I figure that you need to lay low for a while, wrong?” you sigh, passing by him to go to the kitchen. He looks surprised but quickly regains his composure. He hums positively, still not quite sure where this is going. “It’s late, you can stay tonight as well if you want.” 

You don’t know why you are saying this. Inviting a stranger to stay for one more night? Are you going nuts? Are you really that lonely that you would invite someone --whom you met in sketchy circumstances, let’s not forget-- to spend the night with you? His response cuts the little voice in your head nagging at you.

“That’d be good, yes” and you turn to meet his eyes. His face is still serious but you can discern a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

“I’m Y/l/n Y/n by the way”

“Min Yoongi”

“Nice to meet you, Yoongi. Tonight’s menu is take out,” you say, turning to face him completely, leaning on the counter behind you.

“I’m fine with that,” he says with a playful smile and you don’t fail to notice the glimmer of amusement in his eyes. Did you say something funny?

You brush it off, instead focusing on ordering chicken fried rice and dumplings from your favorite chinese place in the neighborhood on your phone. Yoongi returns to focus on the TV while you order, and you take advantage of this to observe him. At first glance, he looks fairly nonchalant, without a care in the world, but the more you examine him, you notice the slight movements of his eyes whenever you make a sound. He doesn’t look uneasy, more like generally careful of you. In fact, it looks like he chose to sit where he could monitor you without you catching him, sitting at a certain angle so he doesn’t have to turn his head to watch you.

You gulp, suddenly feeling more on edge than before. Now that you see it, he seems more controlled than you would think, as though the very way he sits is meticulous; as if to convey that he is non-threatening to you, while still being able to act if need be. You can’t help but feel he might have downplayed his troubles, that type of behaviour does not match with a small lowlife’s who would just have “some troubles with a gang”. No, he knows what he’s doing, and has known from the very beginning, purposefully using sarcasm to break the tension and get you to help him. You don’t think he manipulated you into bringing him home though, that man was too passed out to manage that feat.

You grab the counter to ground you. Realising you just welcomed someone that appears to be dangerous and manipulative into your own home is not a great feeling. If Yoongi has noticed your sudden tenseness, he doesn’t let it show. He’ll be gone by tomorrow, you remind yourself, trying to calm your pounding heart. You feel like a prey stuck with a wolf in sheep’s disguise. But you are no damsel in distress, you’ll be just fine if you stay wary. Keep your guard up while not letting him know you figured him out. Guess you’ll be sleeping with a knife under your pillow tonight as well.

The rest of the night continues on fairly pleasantly. You do most of the talking during the night, telling him stories about your awful boss and your dream job. Yoongi is actually good company, listening to you with a smile, though you still feel that he contains himself. You purposefully avoid talking about his past or his job, not wanting to make a wrong move and anger him. The less you know the better. The atmosphere between the two of you is still somewhat tense, and you all but jump when the doorbell rings, announcing your dinner’s arrival.

He does seem to relax once his stomach full, even going as far to flash you a gummy smile when you lose balance and the empty take out boxes come crashing onto the ground. Granted, he was laughing at your clumsiness but you had a good time nonetheless.

“I need to be up early tomorrow, I should hit the sack,” you say while throwing out the take out boxes. “I’ll leave at 7:30 so you’ll have to leave at that time too”, you add and he hums in understanding.

You bid him goodnight before entering your room and as you are pushing the door a small “Thank you, Y/n” escapes his lips. You turn around and return his small smile. Is it just you or did this one seem sincere?

-----------------------------------------------

You don’t wake up sleep deprived this time around. In fact, you feel better than you have in a while. Is this the effect of having company for once? You scoff at your own thoughts before preparing yourself for the day. No, it’s of course because of your near new job interview. Yoongi is up and ready when you step out of your room to get your coffee, his wet hair sticking to his face.

“You want one?”, you ask him, pointing at the coffee machine. He nods and thanks you when you hand him a coffee. This morning feels a little awkward, you note. You are not quite sure what to say in this situation, and apparently neither is he because the both of you are just staring at each other while sipping your coffees, waiting for the other to say something. You also note the contrast between you too; him, wearing worn out grey jeans and an oversized khaki bomber jacket, and you, wearing a tight black skirt, an assorted suit jacket and an ironed white blouse. Once done with your coffee, you slip your uncomfortable heels and the both of you step out into the elevator.

It is finally time for you to separate when you step out on the street. You turn to face him, suddenly feeling embarrassed. What to say? You are relieved when he starts talking first.

“Thank you for letting me stay, Y/n, I owe you one”, he says with a small smile.

“Well, two if we’re honest”, you answer with a smirk. He looks at you amused. You take a glance at your watch. “Alright, I should go, or I’ll be late for my interview. Goodbye, Min Yoongi”. You wave at him. You fail to notice the men coming up from behind him. You should have, you have never seen them before, and them sporting black clothes and heavy gold chains would have stuck with you. Yoongi does notice the ones coming from behind you though, his eyes widening. It’s far too late however, and he cannot reach you before he is grabbed from the back. You scream when you feel two pairs of hands on each side of you, maintaining you in place. Yoongi is trying to fight off his assailants but he is quickly overpowered, knocked out by a nasty blow to his temple. For your credit, your struggling gave them a hard time trying to contain you as well, scratching and kicking in every direction, but a hit in the face is enough to finally calm you, rendering you unconscious.

----------------------------------------------

You wake up face down in the trunk of a car. You can tell by the sound of the engine as well as the smell of gasoline. Your head hurts and you are disoriented. Everything is dark and you are cramped up in a tiny space, something soft under you. The haze surrounding your mind lifts instantaneously when you remember what happened before you blacked out. You struggle when you find out your hands and feet are tied up, but still at once when the soft thing under you releases an ‘ooomph’ sound.

“Yoongi?!”, you shriek. You immediately regret speaking so loud, cursing under your breath. Just because you can’t hear them in the car doesn’t mean they can’t hear you.

“Yeah..” he responds, voice strained, obviously in pain from the elbow you lodged in his ribs as you tried to move around.

“What the fuck is going on?”, you whisper-shout, anger boiling in your veins. You knew that man was trouble but you invited him in anyway. This is what you get when you don’t listen to your instincts. You hear him sigh above your head.

“Remember the gang I told you about?” he says tentatively, knowing you are only inches away from exploding. “Well, I killed their leader and they are not very happy with me right now.”

You can’t believe what you are hearing.

“And that’s ‘some troubles’ for you?! What the fuck, Yoongi?!”

“That’s really all that you take away from what I just said?”, he retorts in disbelief.

No, it’s really not. But right now, the fact that you are acquaintances with a murderer is the least of your worries. “Fuck”, you utter, hitting your head softly on his chest. The fear mixing with anger inside you makes it difficult for you to think. How are you going to get out of this mess?

“You seem awfully calm for someone who’s just been kidnapped, Yoongi”, you say against his chest, your head still a bit dizzy from the hit you’ve received from your kidnappers.

“This is not my first rodeo, sweetheart”

You scoff at his nonchalant response, but it somehow reassures you a bit. At least you are not alone.

“So, what’s your fucking plan to get us out of here then, cowboy?”, you ask, expecting a brilliant plan to get the both of you out of harm’s way unscathed and-

“I don’t know yet”

Were you drinking anything, you would’ve spat your drink in his face in disbelief. But you are not, so you decide to head butt him in the chest instead. Hard.

“Ow, what the fuck?”, he whisper-shouts, obviously surprised by your sudden violence.

“You got me in this mess dude, now you get me out of it!”

You are seeing red. Even in this kind of situation he isn’t serious, driving you crazy with his nonchalant responses. He is going to get me killed, you think to yourself.

“I’ve escaped once from them, I can do it again. They are not exactly the brightest bunch”, he says, and you feel him shift under you. “The sole fact that they took you with me is proof. Would you turn on your back please, darling?”

Though you don’t understand why, you comply without a complaint. The man is supposed to be used to this, now’s not the time to ask questions. You twist on your back with difficulty, not without purposefully elbowing him in the stomach once again, disguising it as an accident when he starts to curse you out. As soon as you are in position, you feel his hands feeling around their way to yours, reaching your binds in no time. You can’t help but shriek when the cold blade of what you guess is a knife touches your forearm.

“First rule of kidnapping, darling, always check the belt”, he explains while cutting through the rope attaching your wrists together with dexterity. You are free in less time that you need to say it, rubbing your chafed wrists in disbelief. You are impressed to say the least, and quite relieved to have underestimated your kidnappee buddy. He hands you the knife.

“Alright, now I need you to free our feet. With you on top of me like that I can’t do it”

You start to shift in the small space trying to bend in order to reach your feet, feeling as you go. You’ve never been the most flexible but you don’t pay mind to the pain in your lower back as you start to cut through the rope around his feet, a weird feeling of deja vu settling in the back of your mind.

“Wait… Is that MY kitchen knife?!”, you ask in an ushered yet still incredulous voice, recognizing the grip of the knife in your hands.

“Of course it is”, he says as if it was obvious. “Did you seriously think that I, a hit-man searched for by the most dangerous gang of the country, would leave anywhere unarmed?”, he adds after hearing your disbelieving scoff. His feet are free now and you start to cut through your binds.

“The most dangerous- What?! I thought you said they weren’t the brightest bunch?!”, you reply, incredulous, stopping to cut for a second.

“Well yes, I killed the brains of the gang”, he says matter-of-factly. “You done with the knife? Give it to me.”

You hand him back the knife, your ankles now free of the restraints. The car is still moving, and you start to wonder what Yoongi is planning to do. Best course of action would probably be to wait for the car to stop and the kidnappers to open the trunk, taking them by surprise.

This doesn’t seem to be what Yoongi has in mind however, as you feel him start to rip off the carpet on the floor of the trunk. Your eyes widen but you try to move over to the front part of the trunk, letting him space to go on his rampage on the carpet. Has he gone mad? Is this how you die?

“What the fuck are you doing?”, you ask him through gritted teeth. Now’s not the time to attract attention.

“I’m looking for the trunk release cable” he says flatly, obviously focused on his task.

“Huh?”

“It should be… Right about... Here!” He pulls on something at once and the trunk suddenly opens. Your eyes hurt from the abrupt surge of light and you shield your eyes. The car starts to sway dangerously, the kidnappers obviously as surprised as you are to see the trunk pop open. Your eyes don’t have the time to accommodate before Yoongi yanks you by your hand, making you crash in his chest, before jumping, effectively throwing the both of you out of the trunk onto the road. Thankfully, Yoongi had the presence of mind to jump at an angle, making you tumble into the sidewalk instead of underneath the wheels of the car behind yours.

You barely have time to register what just happened before Yoongi pulls you by the hand again. Everything hurts and you are not quite sure what just happened, but you follow suit, running after him. You discard the only heel left on your feet after your little acrobatic feat in order to be able to run properly on the sidewalk. You don’t even pay mind to the incredulous glares the two of you gather. Oh what a sight you must be, running barefoot in the streets, cheeks, hands and knees wounded, your clothes a mess and your previously done up hair flowing in the wind. There are not many people around, making it easy for you to run, but easy for your kidnappers to find you. The car must have stopped a few moments after the trunk popped open because men are running after you, screaming.

Yoongi makes a sudden turn in a narrow and dark alleyway. You want to ask him where he is leading you but you are too breathless to even say a word. You don’t know how long you’ll be able to keep going like that, especially since your feet are starting to hurt from the gravel and the shards of glass covering the alleyway. You keep on running anyway, somehow convinced that the man running in front of you knows what he’s doing.

The sound of a gunshot rings right next to your ears, the bullet embedding itself on the wall alongside you. You shriek as the sound brings you back to earth, and you start to run even faster, adrenaline coursing through your veins. Yoongi doesn’t even flinch, continuing to run, brows furrowed and eyes trained in front of him. You make a second abrupt turn, leading even deeper in the maze of alleyways of your city. This part of the town is known to be the headquarters of the criminal activity, so it’s no wonder you are completely lost here whereas Yoongi expertly proceeds through, leading you to an unknown place.

The deeper you sink in the maze, the more people you meet, and the more scared you become. Everything is so foreign and dangerous to you, and you grip tighter on Yoongi’s hand as he pushes through the mob. It might be a bit stereotypical but these people all look too intimidating to you, especially since you are running away from men who just tried to kill you. You should thank them really, since they help you escape, unbeknownst to them. The alleys are larger now, though still very dark, and your nose catches whiffs of grilled meat and other delicacies as you run past the shady food stands. You are a bit overwhelmed as you progress through the crowd; Your heart is beating in your ears and your mind is racing, unable to entirely make sense of what you are experiencing.

Yoongi yanks on your hand once again, beckoning you to turn in yet another alley. This one is distinctly smaller and emptier than the former, and Yoongi stops abruptly in front of a back door, letting go of your hand to pound on the dirty metal door. His pounding is insistent and for the first time he looks nervous, eyeing where you just came from warily. The door doesn’t seem to want to open despite his persistence and he starts to curse. Behind him, you are quite literally trembling with anxiety. Your heart is throbbing in your chest and you only just realise your cheeks are wet with tears. Have you been crying the whole time?

“Fuck Jin, open the god damn door!”, Yoongi shouts, fist thumping against the metal, startling you from your thoughts. The door finally rattles and opens to reveal a tall yawning man. His brows are furrowed in discontent and you can tell he is going to chew Yoongi out before stopping crestfallen upon seeing his state. He doesn’t even notice you at first, too preoccupied for his friend to cast you a glance.

“Took you long enough” Yoongi grumbles, quickly grabbing your wrist and pulling you inside after him, pushing past his friend who is still staring at him, mouth open wide. The latter sighs before closing the door without a word and following you. The doorway leads to a small living room with a kitchen in the corner lit up by a yellow light bulb. Yoongi lets go of your hand to sink on the couch, and you stay still, not quite sure what to do while Jin settles on the armchair on the opposite side.

Jin looks fairly angry, his eyebrows furrowed and his tired brown eyes shooting daggers at Yoongi. He passes a hand through his black hair, exposing his forehead. He is obviously waiting for Yoongi to explain, his plump lips pressed in a tight line when he realises his friend isn’t going to say anything.

“What the hell are you doing here and what happened to you?” is the first thing he says, concern not well hidden under the apparent annoyance in his tone. He turns his head to you and he shoots you a concerned look. “And who is she?”

Normally, you would have clapped back that she has a name and that if he wanted to know anything about you he could ask directly, but you are too shocked to say anything, still unable to register what is happening right now. He must sense what state you are in because he walks to the kitchen and offers you a drink. You accept it wordlessly, staring blankly at him and then at the glass.

“Well apparently, Wolf’s Fang did not appreciate me killing their leader and tried to kidnap me. Twice”, Yoongi replies with his usual nonchalance. You are happy to note that you are not the only one it drives crazy, judging by the look on Jin’s face.

“Wolf’s Fa- Yoongi, I told you not to approach them, they are trouble,” he says, jaws clenched in obvious annoyance as his friend shrugs. He sighs and turns to you. You can tell he is trying hard to conceal his anger, though the furiousness of his eyes betrays him. “You don’t look so good, sweetheart, you should go to the bathroom”, he tells you, pointing at a corridor. He doesn’t need to pry, you are happy to get away from the tension in the room, making your way towards said corridor.

The bathroom is small, covered in tile. You lock yourself in, slashing your face with cold water, eager for the haze surrounding your mind to leave. You might have a small concussion from your earlier acrobatic feat, along with the mild marks of road burns on the side of your head. You can still hear the argument in the living room between the two men, and you cut the flow of water to listen to the ushered voices.

“-I told you it was the worst idea you’ve ever had, I can’t believe you did it anyway”

“What was I supposed to do, Jin, let them get away with it?”

“It was twenty years ago Yoongi-”

“They killed my parents, I don’t really think there’s a ‘best before’ date on revenge.”

“That is not what I meant and you know it. Just because you are used to killing people doesn’t mean you can take on everyone, Yoongi. They were too dangerous for you but you still went away and killed their leader. I told you to wait and build a team but no, you couldn’t fucking wait, could you? I shouldn’t have told you.”

“It was MY revenge Hyung-”

“That’s why you involved the girl?” Your brows furrow, and you sit on the toilet seat, eager to know what they are going to say about you. Yoongi takes a second before answering, his voice calmer and you have to strain your ears to hear him.

“No. That- That was a mistake. She found me the first time I escaped and she helped me.”

“And that’s how you repay her, by implicating her in your shit?”

“No, I- I just wasn’t careful enough. I didn’t mean for her to get caught up in this.”

“Awww, little Black Crow didn’t want her to get caught in this” Jin retorts sarcastically. “Well guess what, fucker, because of you she’s going to have to hide from one of the biggest gangs in the damn city! I don’t even care that you bring ME into this mess, but you just had to involve an innocent person. I thought you despised that.”

“I fucking hate it!”, Yoongi shouts. “But it’s too late to change anything about that, isn’t it Hyung?”

You rise from your seat, having heard enough. You don’t want them to fight because of you, and you’re afraid you’ve spent much more time in the bathroom than appropriate. Having finally regained your senses, you feel the strain your chase has on your body; your muscles ache and your feet are bloody, shards of glass and tiny pieces of gravel embedded in your skin. You tiptoe back into the living, jaw clenched from the pain, trying to avoid putting too much weight on your feet as well as bloodying the floor. They both fall quiet when you appear through the opening of the corridor, eyeing you with concern.

You can easily guess what is going on in their heads. You are still very pale, and you seem weak, eyes still a bit unfocused as you lean on the wall for support. they must wonder how much you’ve heard, and how much of a problem you are going to be to them. You are a witness and you know what Yoongi does for a living - ha, puns- and though it hasn’t crossed your mind to call the police on them, they don’t know that. Finally, you still have a gang trying to snag you, and you don’t know just how much information your kidnappers have on you. They could try to use you as bait, thinking Yoongi must be attached to you in some way.

In conclusion, this is a mess. You’ve missed both work and your interview this morning and people are bound to ask questions about your whereabouts. You’ve always been the most diligent in terms of work, never taking a day off or arriving more than 10 minutes late. You obviously don’t have your phone or your wallet on you right now, having lost everything when you were kidnapped, and trying to go back to your apartment right now, without your keys on top of that, seems fruitless.

“How are you feeling?”, Jin asks, breaking the uncomfortable silence that settled in the room.

“Still a bit light-headed. I might have a minor concussion… I think. Also I need a first aid kit, if you have one please?”

“Sure, I’ll get you that. Sit down.”

You settle on the other side of the couch as Jin exits the room from the corridor. Yoongi hasn’t said anything yet but you can see hints of concern in his eyes. Similarly to you, his already scarred cheek and his hands are bruised because of the fall from the car, though he doesn’t seem to have hit his head -which isn’t surprising since, unlike you, he was expecting the impact. He moves closer to you on the couch to take your hands in his, observing the wounds on the back of your hands.

You are slightly taken aback but don’t say anything, an unexpected blush creeping on your cheeks. He seems too focused on your hands to notice your tenseness, and you are glad. What the hell is wrong with you? It must be the concussion, making your cheeks heat up, because it certainly can’t be the way his soft hands delicately hold yours- No! What is going on in this brain of yours?

“Are your feet okay?” he asks suddenly, and you squeak in surprise as his grey eyes find yours. He doesn’t comment on your reaction, and you are happy to not receive one of his snarky remarks.

“Not really, that’s why I asked for the first aid ki- Whoa, what are you doing?!”, you shriek when he grabs your legs to prop them on the couch. He sits at the end of the couch, grimacing as he takes in the poor state of the bottom of your feet.

“There’s gravel in there, I’ll have to clean it up--”, he starts.

“No- No, you don’t have to do that, I’ll do it myself,” you interrupt, slightly panicked. To be completely honest, you don’t really trust him to do any good. The man doesn’t exactly save lives, he takes them, and he doesn’t really strike you as the healer type. You think you are saved when Jin comes back and hands you the first aid kit, one of his eyebrows raising in a silent question as he reads the anxiousness on your face. Unfortunately for you, Yoongi doesn’t seem to mind your nervousness, simply snatching the kit from your hands and putting himself to work.

Turns out you were nervous for -mostly- nothing. Yoongi actually has a steady hand, and he removes all gravel and shards of glass in an instant and rather unpainfully. He does however make the mistake of spraying antiseptic directly in your wounds, which hurts like hell. He apologizes profusely, obviously distraught by your unexpected blood curdling scream while Jin laughs freely at his startled face. As he finishes bandaging your feet and Jin brings you hotel slippers to wear for the night. They are way too big for your feet but actually quite comfortable so you accept them with a smile.

You are set to stay low in Jin’s place for the day. It would be too dangerous to leave today according to both Yoongi and Jin, and the both of them decide that you would leave during the night.

“It’s at that time that the alleys are the more crowded,” explained Jin, “the less attention you draw, the better”. That is a kind of logic you can get behind, especially since you can barely walk - let alone run if anything goes wrong.

Yoongi advises you to sleep when he notices your eyes getting droopy, and he leads you to a bedroom. You sink on the bed in exhaustion, your body suddenly refusing to carry you anymore. You feel sleep enveloping you as Yoongi starts to leave the bedroom.

“What’s going to happen after we leave?” you ask sleepily, barely keeping your eyes open. The question stops him dead in his tracks, and he turns to face you, a serious look on his face. He ponders for a little while before answering you.

“I’ll bring you to my place and we’ll find a way for you to go back to your life,” he responds, eyes earnest and you hum sleepily in acknowledgement. Satisfied with the answer, you let yourself slip into an easy sleep.

-----------------------------------------------

You wake up a few hours later, with an empty stomach but an already clearer head. It takes you a minute to remember exactly what happened to you and where you are, feeling dejected when you realise it wasn’t just a very realistic nightmare. It’s all his fault, you realize. Your life was going well before you decided to help Yoongi - well, before you were manipulated into helping him is more correct. Even if you despise your job because of your boss, you still enjoy your little routine. Working during the week to pay off your loan, writing during the weekend or enjoying your free time. Sure you were alone most of the time and you longed to meet new people, you still liked your quiet life. It was all supposed to come together today once you’d get that promotion, but no, that had to be ruined for you. One thing is certain: once all of this is over, you don’t want to ever hear from Min Yoongi again.

You decide to limp to the living room, the rumbling of your stomach prompting you to seek sustenance. Both Jin and Yoongi are in the living room, Yoongi sleeping on the couch while Jin is busy on the phone looking out the window near the kitchen. His brows are furrowed and he looks deep in thought, making you reconsider asking him for food right now. He doesn’t seem to have noticed you entering the room and sitting on the armchair, and you take advantage of this to stare at him in tranquillity.

It makes no doubt for you now that Jin is also a very dangerous man. If his earlier behaviour wasn’t particularly intimidating in any way, the man barking at the phone in front of you  exudes a deadly aura. He is quite obviously trying to resolve the mess his younger friend put himself -and you- into, calling multiple people and furiously scribbling on a notepad on the counter in between calls. He seems to know exactly who to contact, calling people back to back, until he slams his phone on the table, sighing in exasperation. He takes his head in his hands and sighs again.

“Jin?” you ask tentatively, and Jin’s head snaps in your direction. His dark eyes immediately find yours, and you gulp, intimidated by his intense glare. When he realises it’s just you, his features soften and you feel yourself being able to breathe again.

“Do you have something I could eat?” you ask after he beckons you to speak with a hum. He nods, making his way to the cupboards. He rummages through them and you settle on a stool behind the counter. Jin doesn’t look satisfied as he pulls out a cup of instant ramen and he shoots you an apologetic smile. “Ramen is fine,” you assure him, feeling too hungry to fuss over the quality of the meal. It actually reminds you of your student days, living off ramen, coffee and the sheer will of escaping your parent’s house. Granted this is not how you envisioned your future, running away from a gang with your new friend Yoongi the murderer, but you longed for adventure, right?

Well it’s not like you have much of a choice anyway, you remind yourself as Jin sets the meager meal in front of you. You must pull a crestfallen grimace because Jin laughs at you and you dive in, eager to hide the embarrassment creeping on your cheeks at his windshield wiper laugh.

“Who were you calling?” you ask with a mouth full, keen to change the focus on him rather than you. He rests his elbows on the counter across from you and he tries to find his words.

“People who could help resolve the situation,” he answers simply.

“Right… ‘Resolve’” you say with a sarcastic smile. The only way to ‘resolve’ the situation, as Jin says, is surely to take out the gang altogether. It is obviously weak at the moment because of the loss of their boss, and it’s the best time to strike.

“We need to ensure your security - that is, unless you believe you can do it alone?” he retorts, raising one of his eyebrows in defiance. You scoff at his smirk.

“Of course not.” You pause. “Thank you for helping me,” you add earnestly after a second.

“Don’t thank me, thank Yoongi. He’s the one who asked me to help you. Apparently he owes you”, he says dismissively, returning to the kitchen to throw away your no empty ramen cup. You swallow with difficulty. Of course he’s only doing that because he owes you, what did you expect? Both of those men are hardened criminals, though you don’t exactly know what Jin dwelves in. It would be foolish of you to think that neither of them is protecting you out of the goodness of their hearts. They are not as naive and generous as you are, and Yoongi could easily have left you to die had you not saved him earlier.

No wait… This is because of him that you are in this mess, of course he has to fix this situation!

“Anyways,” Jin adds as he comes back to face you, “Yoongi is going to bring you to a safer location and then he - along with my team - is going to sort this mess out. And then you’ll be good to go, as if this never happened.”

He emphasizes his last words with a dark fixed gaze on you. You gulp at his sudden change of demeanor from casual to threatening. You know exactly what he means by that; You’ll have to keep quiet about what happened, or else. You nod a bit too eagerly, suddenly intimidated by him. This seems to please him however, and he smiles at you, obviously content that you understand the true meaning of his words.

You spend the next hour or so abstently watching TV from the armchair while waiting, Yoongi still happily slumbering on the couch. There isn’t much more to do than wait, and you are bored out of your wits by the time Jin decides Yoongi slept too much and hits him with a rolled up magazine to wake him up.

“What the- What was that for?!” Yoongi indignantly asks, rubbing his head, his still sleepy eyes shooting daggers at the elder.

“It’s time for you to move” is all he says before he leaves the room, not even paying attention to the string of curses Yoongi sends flying his way. You chuckle at his indignation and he shoots you a dark look, amusing you even further. He sighs before chuckling too and he rises from the couch to stretch his limbs. Jin comes back to the living room with a backpack he chucks at Yoongi. The latter catches it effortlessly before sitting back on the couch to rummage through it, taking out a gun and observing it, checking the magazine in a swift motion.

“You might need that,” Jin says, leaning back against the kitchen counter and Yoongi thanks him. You eye warrily the weapon; You can’t say you feel particularly reassured with this. You’ve never been one to like firearms, and the sole fact that you were shot at earlier today reinforces your apprehension. Yoongi seems to sense your tenseness and he hands you your kitchen knife. You look at him questioningly.

“It might be too early for you to use a gun, let’s stick with things you know for now,” he explains with a knowing smile. For now. You can see Jin’s eyebrows furrow in the corner of your eyes but you don’t comment on his choice of words, merely nodding in understanding. There’s also a pair of grey sneakers in the bag, which Yoongi throws your way. They are too big for your feet but this is the best you are going to get so you don’t complain. You are now set to leave and Yoongi beckons you to follow him through the corridor. There’s a back door that you hadn’t noticed after the door leading to the bedroom.

Yoongi reaches to open the door and stops, taking a look at you. You are opening your mouth to ask him what’s wrong when he suddenly removes his jacket to throw it around your shoulders.

“You’ll attract too much attention otherwise” he says, and he slips through the door. You follow him into the alleyways, clutching his jacket to cover you more, hiding the knife in your hands under it.

The alleys, much like Jin explained, are more crowded than when you arrived. You are significantly less scared than before, focusing on following the man in front of you instead of observing the people around you. Yoongi is leading you through the crowd, eyes scanning the mob looking for potential threats. Jin had advised you to leave separately but it just wasn’t possible for you to navigate through this maze alone, and you are grateful to be with Yoongi right now.

People don’t seem to pay much attention to either of you and you are able to reach an underground parking lot safely. Yoongi had made sure you weren’t followed before reaching for keys in the bag. He presses the button and the lights of a car a few rows from where you are flare up. Yoongi grabs your hand and leads the both of you to the black car, letting you get seated on the passenger side before unceremoniously throwing the bag on the back seat.

The car is surprisingly nice, a black Mercedes with tan leather seats. You squeak in surprise when Yoongi makes the engine roar as you are attaching your seat belt. You don’t even have the time to say anything before he slams the acceleration pedal, leaving the parking spot like a mad man. You grip the armrest in a futile attempt to feel safer, not quite at ease with Yoongi’s aggressive driving.

You can tell he is a good driver, expertly avoiding the few other cars as he speeds down the highway, but you can’t help your heart from pounding in your chest. You’ve never been this fast on the road, and the happy glimmer in Yoongi’s eyes everytime he goes faster doesn’t exactly reassure you.

The only positive aspect with him driving this fast is that you quickly arrive at the destination. You are surrounded by tall glass buildings, and you furrow your brows. This can’t be where Yoongi lives, can it? It doesn’t make sense. Yoongi parks the car in another underground parking structure, and you step out of the car with wobbly legs and a confused expression plastered on your face. You don’t even have time to ask the first of the thousands of questions swarming your mind right now before Yoongi makes his way towards an elevator.

Unlike you, he seems perfectly at ease as he waits for the elevator, even smirking at your bemused face. The ding of the elevator makes you step out of your thoughts and you start to stammer as you follow Yoongi inside. He presses the button going to the 37th level.

“You- You live here?!” you ask, incredulous as the elevator starts its ascension. He shoots you another smirk, his eyes playful.

“What, you think I kill for the sole pleasure of it? Of course not, I’m not a monster, Y/n.”

“I- I don’t--”

“Hitman is a relatively high paying job, I’ll have you know,” Yoongi explains in fake seriousness, obviously reveling on your confused state of mind. You raise one of your eyebrows in defiance at his words, eyeing him up and down as if to prove a point. He isn’t exactly dressed as someone who makes a lot of money. He scoffs at your attitude, and he crosses his arms on his chest.

“Hey! I like these clothes!” he says in indignation and you roll your eyes at him. The elevator stops and the both of you step out of it. “Anyway, nobody knows about this place so we’ll be safe here,” he says while walking to a door at the end of a corridor.

“Nobody?” you ask as he opens the door.

“Not even Jin. It’s a safe measure. I don’t know where he lives either. No one in the gang does. That way, if someone gets caught, they won’t be able to tell where the others are.”

He opens the door and enters his apartment. You take a second to look around you. His apartment is big and modern. The walls are painted white, contrasting with his dark furniture. In the back of the apartment is a huge window, providing an incredible view of the city. But the view is unable to distract you from the many questions swirling in your mind; How many people has he had to kill in order to pay for a place like this? The place you were at just earlier wasn’t Jin’s home? The gang? What is going on? Yoongi must notice your confusion -- maybe because you are still on the doorstep, staring around with a gaping mouth -- because he sighs and starts to explain further.

“We were not at Jin’s. It’s one of our safe places all over the city. There’s always at least one member there, and this time it was Jin’s shift and I knew he was going to be there,” he starts explaining.

“Wait wait- You are in a gang?!” you exclaim, eyes wide. The more you think you know about Yoongi the more lost you get. It wasn’t bad enough that he is an assassin, he’s also part of a gang?

“Would you please come in before shouting those kinds of things?” he retorts through gritted teeth, ushering you inside and closing the door. You sink down on the leather couch and stare in the void, still not quite able to process everything. You should have seen it coming if you are really honest, but it seems that you find yourself to be in an even bigger mess than you thought everytime Yoongi tries to explain himself.

“Yes, I’m in a gang. I’m an assassin. Jin is the leader’s right-hand man. More than that he is my friend,” he says, eyeing you warrily and holding his hands up in a defensive stance, as if scared you’ll explode. If anything, you should be the one to be scared, you think to yourself, especially since you can’t understand why he would say that. Perhaps it’s because you are aware of what would happen to you, would you ever try to say anything to anyone. Not that anyone would believe your story anyway, or that you would risk telling anything to anyone. You shudder when you remember Jin’s hidden warning. Yoongi lowers his hands as you seem to have calmed down and he sits across from you on a leather armchair.

“I talked with Jin about taking down Wolf’s Fang. I’ll leave tomorrow to deal with that with other members of the gang. Then you’ll go back to your life”, he explains nonchalantly. For some unknown reason, his last words set you ablaze with rage.

“What life, Yoongi? You ruined that, remember?” you spit at him harshly, rising from your seat. He looks completely taken aback by your sudden outburst. You had made sure not to let show how much you resent him for dragging you in this situation; You needed him to fix everything, and shouting at him that it’s all his fault surely wouldn’t help your plans at all. But you snap because of his nonchalant attitude. He destroyed your chances at getting your promotion, having to go no-contact. He put you at risk of getting kidnapped and then shot, even though he knew he was himself in danger.

“Aren’t you an assassin, aren’t you part of a gang? Didn’t you know you would put me in danger with you?” you shout at him, pointing at him aggressively to emphasize your words.

“I didn’t mean--” he starts, but you interrupt him. Anger is bubbling inside you and you can’t contain it anymore.

“You knew you were putting me in danger but you stayed anyway!”

“You were the one who said I could lay low at yours!” he retorts, rising from his seat. You scoff at his irrelevant argument and he immediately cringes at his poor wording.

“I didn’t know you were an assassin and a gang member! I would’ve thought twice about letting you come into my life if I knew I’d get kidnapped!” you spit, your jaw clenched in anger.

“I didn’t want this!”

“Well I sure hope so!”, you scoff, hands rising in the air in disbelief. “But what did you seriously expect, huh?” You try to chase away the tears threatening to fall from your eyes. Now is not the time to cry.

“I know I should’ve left you!” he starts in anger but his voice breaks and he looks away. You look at him in confusion. You are not used to seeing vulnerability in him. Granted you don’t really know him but this feels out of character for him. “I just- I didn’t want to be alone,” he says, voice pregnant with emotion. You are taken aback by his sudden openness, brows furrowed and mouth gaping in confusion. He still doesn’t look at you, and you don’t manage to say anything, too lost to be able to utter a word.

He passes a hand through his black hair and sighs loudly. The both of you are standing awkwardly, you staring at him and him making a point of avoiding your eyes. You can tell he’s waiting for you to say something, anything, but you are left utterly speechless. He scoffs darkly before walking towards the back of the room to a kitchen.

“Anyway, you’ll be safe tomorrow, and you’ll be able to leave.”

Yoongi exits the room and you are left alone with your thoughts.

---------------------------------------------------

You decide to sit on the floor in front of the big windows, enjoying the unending view. It must be one in the morning, and the streets are empty, apart from the odd car driving down the road every once in a while. The sight is calming, as you see the few lights still lit up in the night. Your apartment is not exactly downtown so you don’t have a view as nice as this one. Everything is so silent, so still. You know exactly why you are staring so intensely at the view, trying to chase any thought of Yoongi.

You are definitely calmer now but you don’t want to think about him, trying to bottle up any emotion deep down. You’ve never been one to have a healthy relationship with your feelings, and you are not going to start now. Most of your resentment is gone now that you finally confronted him about it, but your last exchange only left confusion. Confusion on what he was talking about, but also on why your heart squeezed so painfully when you saw him so vulnerable or when he walked away from you. You bring your knees to your chest.

In a way, you can understand where he is coming from. You let him stay and threw all care in the wind also because you were feeling lonely. Perhaps both of you were weak at that moment. Surely he should have been more careful, but you don’t blame him as much as you did before.

You hear a door open and close but you don’t move from your spot, keeping your eyes trained on the view. From the corner of your eyes, you see Yoongi sit cross legged next to you. The both of you stay in silence like that for a bit of time, watching the horizon before you decide to break the silence.

“I’m sorry I yelled at you like that,” you say softly, turning your head to look at him. His grey eyes meet yours. They are definitively warmer than before, and you feel reassured.

“Hmm. I just hope the neighbors didn’t hear you scream,” he answers with his usual snarky grin. You shoot him an apologetic smile.

“Yeah, that might be a problem in the future.”

He doesn’t look too concerned, shrugging and leaning back on his arms, stretching his legs as he takes in the view in front of him. One question still plagues your mind, and you can’t stop it from spilling from your lips.

“When you said you didn’t want to be alone earlier, what did you mean?”

He doesn’t look taken aback by your question, and he turns his head back to you, sitting up straight.

“You ever wonder where I got that from?” he says, pointing to his scar across his right side. You nod positively. “When I was six, my parents were attacked by a man and his small gang. My father was a rich accountant who refused to work for them, and the leader of the small gang took offence. One night, they raided my house, torturing and killing my mother in front of his eyes, and they planned to do the same to me.”

Yoongi pauses, staring at his trembling hands, and you regret asking him such a personal question. It is obviously a very difficult subject for him, but he resumes talking before you can say anything.

“Apparently, the neighbors heard the commotion and called the police as the leader carved a line across my eye, so he decided to kill my father and to flee. I was placed in an orphanage for boys. During that time, I met with Jin and 5 other boys. We all grew up without being adopted, and one of the other boys, Namjoon, decided that we needed revenge on life. We started partaking in some pretty illegal stuff, and our little group grew. We were seven at first, and now we are the most powerful gang” he says, a hint of pride in his voice at the last sentence.

“For more than twenty years I searched for the people that killed my parents, and Jin is the one who finally found them. It was the leader of Wolf’s Fang, a rival gang, and I decided that I waited enough for revenge. I made sure he felt tenfold the pain he inflicted my parents.”

Yoongi’s eyes are dark as the night now, contrasting with the paleness of his skin under the moonlight. An aura of dangerousness is radiating from him, and you can’t help but feel intimidated.

“But when I finally killed him I felt so empty. What was there anymore?” he adds with furrowed brows and he stares at his open hands. “I got what I wanted. I lost my edge that day. I had nothing left to fight for, or at least I was convinced of it. They found me easily, I wasn’t even trying to hide. But I remembered that they already caused my family too much pain, I wasn’t going to let them cause more. If I were to die, it wouldn’t be by their hand. So I escaped. And that’s when you found me”

He turns to face you, his eyes back to their warmth, making your cheeks heat up.

“I guess I just needed a stranger to take care of me a little,” he concludes, smiling awkwardly at you.

A comfortable silence settles between you while the two of you enjoy the view. Something seems to have lifted from Yoongi’s shoulders, he looks much more relaxed than when you entered his appartement. Maybe because he told you everything, the whole truth, and that he doesn’t need to hide anything from you.

You don’t know how much time you spent in silence together, enjoying each other’s presence before you start to feel tired again. You haven’t really slept that much yesterday and all the tension from the day vanishes, leaving tiredness in its wake. A yawn escapes your lips. You don’t even know why you lean your head on his shoulder but you do, perhaps too sleepy to even realise what you are doing. Yoongi doesn’t seem to mind thankfully, and he leans his head on top of yours. You fall asleep like that, and you don’t even stir when Yoongi lifts you up to place you on his bed before joining you.

--------------------------------------------------

It’s well into the morning when you wake up. It takes you a minute before understanding where you are, your heart racing a bit when you realise you are alone in an unknown bed. Yoongi must already be gone, you realise when you walk into the empty living room. It’s already 12 am so you decide to head to the kitchen in search of something to eat. After your meal, you take a shower, taking some clothes Yoongi left for you this morning. You can’t help the blush creep on your skin as you realise he thought to leave you clothes just before leaving to take down a gang. The clothes he left are too big for you, an oversized t-shirt, a sweatshirt and a comfortable pair of sweatpants, but you enjoy the cozyness --and his smell on the clothes-- too much to complain.

The rest of your day is spent waiting. You start by exploring every inch of the apartment, trying to discover more of Yoongi. Unfortunately for you, you don’t find anything except one photo, hidden between two books. You found it by error, accidentally knocking a row of books on the desk. You instantly recognize two people in the photo, Yoongi and Jin. They seem much younger, barely adults. The others seem much younger, and your heart twists. These boys are too young to be in a gang... You turn the photo to inspect the back and you find an inscription.

“Birds of prey - 2013

Namjoon, Seokjin, Yoongi, Hoseok, Jimin, Taehyung, Jungkook”

The seven of them are looking in defiance at the camera, as if they have something to prove. You sigh before placing back the photo.

By the time seven rolls around, you can’t help but feel a bit worried. Is it normal that he’s been gone for so long? What if something has happened to him? What are you supposed to do then? You decide against pacing, choosing to sit on the armchair across the door instead, knees to your chest as you wait for his return.

When the door finally opens, you spring from your seat. Yoongi comes in while limping but as soon as his eyes fall on you, a warm smile erupts on his bruised face. You are too preoccupied by his disheveled state to return his smile, instead coming to his side to help him walk to the couch. He stops you in your tracks with a raise of his hands.

“Don’t worry, someone already took care of me. I’m all patched up,” he reassures you, and a bit of tension eases from your shoulders. You sit on the armchair as he settles on the couch. He can tell that you are dying to know what happened, seeing as you are practically buzzing across the edge of your seat across him.

“It’s over,” he states simply at first and you let out a sigh of relief. It’s finally over? It almost doesn’t feel real, as if these past days were just a dream. “We took care of most of the members, and Namjoon ordered some of our men to make sure the rest join them soon”

“That means I can go home?” you ask excitedly. You could have sworn you saw a hint of disappointment in his eyes but it left as soon as it came.

“Yes, of course,” he says, “I could drive-”

“But first, we need to celebrate our freedom,” you interrupt him with a smirk. He is surprised at first, but soon returns your smile.

“You’re right, let’s order some takeout for tonight”

You spend the evening eating and laughing. You are happy to finally see Yoongi relax completely with you, able to tell you stories about his life. You now would like to meet the rest of the boys in the photo, first and foremost to thank them since they were part of the team that took out the gang, but also because they sound funny in Yoongi’s stories. They all seem closer to a family than most of the conventional ones, and the fact that they are gang members doesn’t really scare you anymore. They are Yoongi’s friends, after all.

By the time you finish your meal and a movie, it’s ‘unfortunately’ too late for you to go home, and Yoongi advises you to stay just one night more. Seeing that you’ve done the same for him, he has to return the favor, he explained, and you happily oblige, perhaps a bit too ecstatic to be able to spend more time with him. It’s funny how fast you’ve come to trust this man and enjoy his company, even though you are aware of his profession.

This time, it’s him who falls asleep first, head leaning on your shoulder while watching a movie on the couch, and you decide to put him to bed. You chuckle at the feeling of deja vu when you lead him to the bedroom, supporting him as he limps his way to the bed. You pause for a moment after he sinks on the mattress; Where are you supposed to sleep? On the bed with him? On the couch? You are about to step out of the room when a hand catches your wrist.

“Where are you going?” he asks groggily, eyes barely open to look at you. You smile at him.

“Nowhere” you answer, and he closes his eyes back, his hands slipping from around your wrist as a reassured smile creeps across his lips.

You settle on the other side of the bed, careful to still put distance between you. You turn on your side to be able to face him. He is peaceful like that, and you smile to yourself as you brush away the stray strands of black hair covering his eyes.

The next morning passes rather quickly, mostly due to the fact that you sleep off most of it in Yoongi’s arms. After a rather flustered waking up, and an awkward breakfast, the both of you decide to get you back to your apartment. You need to swing by your office first, as you need to retrieve your spare apartment keys in your locker. If you were previously warry to go back there and face your boss, you don’t even care anymore. You’ve almost died for fuck’s sake, what can he possibly do that will scare you. If anything, he will be the one to be scared if he dares to say anything, Yoongi assured you, making you smile.

This time, he drives rather calmly and you are grateful for that. First of all because you don’t want to die in a car crash, and secondly because the longer the ride, the more time you can still spend with Yoongi. He is more silent than usual, a sullen look on his face. You can understand him, for some reason you aren’t exactly the happiest at the prospect of going back to your previous life, to your stupid job and your stupid boss, and more importantly to your empty and lonely apartment.

Maybe some of Yoongi’s nonchalance rubbed off on you, you think to yourself as you stroll inside your office building, wearing oversized sweats and followed by a scary looking man with a scar across his face. You don’t even stop to answer the questions the office bitch sends your way, shutting her up with a dark glare. You’ve never liked her, she always took credit for other’s work, so you don’t feel guilty for scaring her. You go straight to your locker, Yoongi still following behind you. You are thankful for him being with you, you are sure you wouldn’t have the same confidence without him.

You are rummaging through your locker and retrieving your things when a furious voice interrupts you.

“Y/l/n! Where were you? You’ve missed almost a week of work! It’s unacceptable-”

A week? What a joke, it’s only the third day you’ve missed. Anger starts to bubble inside you. You’ve never missed a day of work before, and this asshole makes it as though it was a regular occurrence, not an ounce of concern in his annoying voice as he shouts. You tune him out as you continue to search for your stuff, and you ignoring him only seems to infuriate him more - and you love this. You’ve suffered his abuse too much to pay anymore attention to him, and when you finally find your keys, you slam your locker door, shutting him up instantly.

You turn around to face him, reveling on the look of absolute shock written on his face. The once so soft spoken and respectful employee is so disrespectful now. You notice Yoongi glaring daggers at him, jaw clenched, and you are thankful that he doesn’t say anything. This is your moment.

“Listen asshole, I’ve had enough of your shit. So stop harassing me or I’ll make sure you won’t ever be able to open that mouth of yours again,” you spit coldly. He stammers, trying in vain to say anything. “Yeah, that’s what I thought. Also, don’t even dare try to complain about me to HR or the police, I have enough proof of workplace abuse to get you fired in a second. I’ll be back to take the rest of my stuff,” you add, glancing around in the office to find every pair of eyes on you. Satisfied with your little outburst, you leave, prompting a smirking Yoongi to follow after you.

It’s only in the car that the frown on your face lifts instantly and you burst in laughter with Yoongi.

“That felt good,” you confide with a playful grin. He returns your smile, his eyes twinkling with something that looks like awe and pride. The car ride to your apartment is already more cheery, the both of you laughing at the looks on their faces when you exited dramatically. You’ve dreamed of doing that more than once, and it seems that Yoongi gave you enough confidence to stand up for yourself this time.

The realisation that it’s goodbye seems to dawn the both of you when you enter the elevator. Your heart squeezes in your chest as the elevator gets closer to your floor. This can’t be it. You have to do something. The door opens on your floor and you step out after Yoongi.

He follows you to the door and waits as you turn your key in the lock. Thoughts are swirling in your brain; Will you be able to see each other after this? Does he even want to? You turn around when the door is finally open. You don’t know what to say, and your racing mind isn’t helping you trying to figure out a way for him to stay with you. He seems nervous as well, biting his bottom lip as his eyes avoid yours.

“Thank you… For keeping me safe,” you say meekly, cheeks heating up. His smoke colored eyes meet yours.

“Of course Y/n, you saved me first,” he responds softly, a small smile tugging at his lips. He does have pretty lips. So pink, and they look so soft. You don’t even realise you are staring at them until they come closer. Wait what? You snap your eyes to Yoongi and you meet his gaze. His face stops only inches away from yours and you feel your whole face burn, and your heart beats at a thousand miles an hour. He is right there in front of you, so close that you can feel his hot breath tingling against your skin, yet he is not close enough for you.

You crash your lips against his in impatience. It feels as though you’ve been waiting for this for your whole life, feeling so right to be in his arms. The kiss is full of passion, his tongue sneaking past your lips to find yours. His hands grip on your hips to get you closer and you practically melt in his arms. Everything feels so hot, his lips against yours, his hands on your skin, your hands entangled in his hair. You breathlessly pull away from his kiss to grab him closer to you, flushing his body against yours. He hastily closes the door behind you and his lips resume their assault on yours. Let’s just say that you stayed together in more ways than one that day.

------------------------

Meeting Min Yoongi was maybe the best mistake of your life. Sure, you got kidnapped and shot at, you lost your job and had to hide from a powerful gang with an assassin, but you’d do it all over again just for him.

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Thank you @minty-joonie​ and @wwilloww​ for helping me proofread!

I hope you liked it!! Please tell me what you thought of Black Crow!!

💜

[dreaming-of-assclass]

Like It

Group 4 girls are hanging out and Kanzaki gives her friends a bit of a surprise. Or, in the words of Kayano, “A fucking heart attack.”

~~

“Kayano-san!” Okuda squealed as she opened her door, coming face to face with the actress. A bright smile adorned her face as she gently pulled her inside. “I missed you so much!”

Kayano grinned and embraced her tightly, burying her face into Okuda’s dark locks which smelled faintly of honey. “I missed you way more! I’m so glad we could hang out today.”

It was the first time in a few months where Kayano had a relatively free schedule. Since she’d gone back into the acting business, her daily life spun around filming sets, manuscripts, orders from directors, constant coffee to stay alive...

Doing anything to keep her mind off the things that truly hurt...like Aguri...and Korosensei...

She was aware it wasn’t healthy. Her therapist had mentioned that enough times to her, and she came to the conclusion herself. But acting was a big piece of who she was, and she’d be damned if she ever let it go.

She wasn’t even sure if she could.

Okuda released her, stepping back with a shy smile as she adjusted her glasses. “I hope the train ride was okay? I’m sorry, I know my house is pretty far...”

Kayano waved her off. “No, no, it was totally fine! I just listened to music and got to relax. And my mask did a good job of hiding my face.” She smirked, giving a light tug to her pink “kawaii-bear” themed mask.

The chemist’s face lit up again. “I’m so glad! And oh, come in!” She immediately scooted to the side of the doorway, allowing space for Kayano to enter.

Kayano pulled off her sneakers and gently placed them on the shoe rack, her lime green striped socks now visible. She tugged off the mask with a content sigh as Okuda shut the door, grateful for some privacy. She felt a relief from the constant anxiety of being caught by fans. She shoved her mask into her bag and politely followed Okuda through the corridor of the house. 

It was average-sized, which she could tell from the outside. Okuda’s family was reasonably middle-class, given that they were pharmacists. Still, they seemed to settle for a smaller house as their 3-resident home.

“Kanzaki-san texted me, saying that she’s running a bit late,” Kayano heard Okuda say, but her attention was fixed on her surroundings.

The hallway was lined with shiny, polished wooding. It almost looked as if it had been barely walked on. 

More than that, though, a slight scent of anti-septics filled the air. It was subtle and faint, yet easily reached Kayano’s nose by the third step she took. 

Overall, so far, Okuda’s house did not feel like a cozy, welcoming abode. It was such a sharp contrast to her as a person, a sweetheart.

Okuda glanced over at her, a spark of recognition in her eyes. As if she could read Kayano’s mind, she spoke, “I know...it feels very lonely here.”

Oh, shit. “Okuda-san?”

The bespectacled girl sighed as she led them to a sitting room, near what Kayano presumed to be the kitchen. They both sat on the couch, close to one another. “No one is really here, except me most of the time. And even that’s changed since 3-E...and making so many friends.” She ducked her head slightly after the last word, her face reddening.

Kayano felt her chest tighten.

She reached over and gently took Okuda’s hand, clasping it in her own. “It’s okay, Okuda-san. I know exactly how you feel. My house was always empty too, just me and my sister. And then...she...”

Dammit, why does this keep happening? Kayano hated that she could barely speak about Aguri without her voice breaking, her throat closing, feeling like she was about to shatter-

Before she could utter another word, Okuda gently pulled her hand out of her grip and embraced the girl in another hug. A different hug. One that was warm, comforting, and so filled with compassion, and yet it still made Kayano feel like crying.

“My loneliness is nothing compared to Kayano-san’s,” Okuda whispered. “I’m sorry. Please don’t feel like you’re still alone anymore though. We all love you.”

Kayano wiped her eyes with a smile, pulling back gently. “Thanks, Okuda-san. The same goes double for you, you know.” 

She playfully pinched Okuda’s cheeks, earning a sharp squeal. “We need our adorable mad scientist.”

Okuda slapped her hands away with a huff. “And we need our evil pudding-loving actress.”

Kayano laughed, stopping when she felt a faint grumble from her stomach. “Ooh, speaking of food...”

Okuda chuckled, an apologetic smile on her lips. “Sorry, we don’t have pudding...but tons of healthy snacks?”

“Oh, that’s way better. I need to be watching my diet now actually.”

Okuda rolled her eyes fondly, rising and walking into the kitchen, her guest following behind like a lost puppy. “Please, you’ll always stay a toothpick.”

“Actually I’m on my way to becoming a muscular toothpick.”

“Oh?”

Kayano shrugged. “I have my personal trainer Kimi to thank. But gym sessions with Terasaka also help a little.”

“Terasaka-kun? Really?”

“Yeah, the big oaf knows a ton about fitness and muscle-building,” Kayano replied, pride in her tone. “Sugino and Kataoka, too! They’ve all been great help.”

Okuda smiled, setting down the various bowls she’d been preparing onto one tray. “That’s great to hear!”

A bowl of apple slices, a platter of crackers and cheese, a bowl of strawberries accompanied by two tiny forks, and some clementines were spread onto the tray. She carried it into the living room and the two girls happily resumed their conversation while munching on snacks.

About twenty minutes later, the bowls and plates were all basically empty. Kayano was laying upside down, her feet dangling off the top of the couch as her hair fell against the floor. She was clutching her stomach. “I think I ate too fast...”

Okuda was laying on her side over by the opposite end of the sofa, arms wrapped around her abdomen. “Ugh, me too...”

“I wonder what’s taking Kanzaki-san so long...” she muttered.

Kayano sat up properly, flipping herself up from her position. “Me too...I hope she’s okay.” A jolt of anxiety went through her at all the possible issues Kanzaki could be going through. 

Just as the words left her mouth, the doorbell rang, its sound echoing through the foyer. 

Both girls exchanged dumbfounded glances for a moment before jumping up. “She’s here!” 

They dashed through the hallway as safely as they could, since both of them were clad in socks. Okuda unlocked and flung the door open as fast as she could.

“Kanzaki-!” 

They cut themselves off almost instantly, their jaws dropping at the sight before them. Kayano felt her brain momentarily numb.

And then she was back to reality and found her voice again. 

“WHO ARE YOU?!”

Kanzaki laughed good-naturedly, one hand resting on her bag that slung from her shoulder. The other hand was running through her silky locks...which were no longer their usual raven color.

No, her hair was now a shade of stormy blue. All over, not just tips or ombre.

“Wow! Kanzaki-san, it looks beautiful!” Okuda exclaimed. 

Kanzaki beamed and hugged her, leaning over quite a bit to do so since she was wearing healed boots. “Thank you, Okuda-san. It’s so good to see you again!”

The two of them began chatting, still holding each other as Kayano was still somewhat in shock.

She knew of Kanzaki’s 2nd year phase, yes... But hearing about it was entirely different from seeing it, especially so suddenly. 

Kanzaki glanced back at her with a grin and waved her over. “Kayano-san, I haven’t seen you in forever and you still haven’t said hi!” A fake, over-exaggerated pout was present in her tone.

Kayano arched a brow. “Sorry, but I’m not sure I know you,” she replied dryly, in true acting fashion yet she wrapped her arms around Kanzaki regardless.

This earned a laugh from the gamer girl. Kanzaki hugged her back warmly, one hand cupping the back of Kayano’s head. “Do you like it?” 

“Like it?” Kayano repeated, a smile breaking out on her face. “I love it so goddamn much!”

She really did. The icy shade of blue that reminded her of swirling sea thunderstorms looked gorgeous on Kanzaki. It suited her complexion, and totally complimented the shade of chestnut in her eyes.

“Do your parents know...?” 

Kanzaki shrugged, a flash of defiance in her eyes. “No, and I don’t really care what they think. It’s my hair, my appearance, my image. They don’t matter.”

“Spoken like a true badass.” Kayano smirked.

She gently touched a strand of her hair, the faint blue now between her fingers. “It looks amazing,” she said softly, stepping back as they both released each other.

Kanzaki shyly smiled, her cheeks slightly pink. “Thank you.”

Kayano scoffed. “But I won’t lie and say you didn’t give me a fucking heart attack for a second there.”

Kanzaki burst into laughter again with Okuda. 

“Kayano-san!” She admonished half-heartedly.

“What? You know what I’m saying! Last time we saw Kanzaki-san, she was dressed like a church girl with her black hair up in a chignon. And now, she’s-” Kayano gestured to her. “-this!”

Kanzaki’s laughter increased as she doubled over. “A church girl-”

Okuda joined her, a hand clutching her stomach as she giggled. “Kayano-san, stop making me laugh.”

Kayano flipped her hair dramatically. “Can’t help it. I’m just so funny.”

Kanzaki’s laughter died down as she playfully shoved Kayano. “Aaaaaand it’s over. Not anymore.”

“You’re mean!” Kayano pouted. A thought occurred to her. “Wait, weren’t you brining pudding?”

Kanzaki looked puzzled. “I thought you had some, Okuda-san?”

Okuda face-palmed. “Oh no.”

“NOOOOOOOOOO!” Kayano wailed as over-the-top as she could. 

“It’s fine!” Okuda tried to mediate. “We can just get some more at the convenience store a couple blocks away.”

“But I just got here,” Kanzaki whined. “I haven’t even taken my shoes off.”

Kayano grabbed her upper arm. “All the more reason you should come. You’re already ready to leave!”

She groaned. “Alright, fine, you maniac.” She shot a dull glare at Kayano, who responded with a bright grin. “I’ll pay, too.”

“Yay!” The other two cheered. 

Okuda locked the door while the other two waited for her at the front steps. “Sooo~” Kayano cooed. “Tell me all the high school drama going in for you girls.”

Kanzaki mimicked her tone. “Only if you tell me all the drama going on in the acting world~”

“Yeah, tell us everything, Kayano-san~” Okuda sang, joining them. 

The three girls set out walking, arms linked. The sun was just starting to set as it approached evening time, a golden glow casted above everything. The air was only slightly chill, a refresher to all of them.

“Oh, where do I even start? Okay, so the main lead in the swan movie? The guy I told you about? He actually ended up being a...”

[themarveledwriter]

First Encounters

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Reader

Warnings: Angst. Panic attacks. Blood. Cursing. Bad writing.

Summary: Sebastian runs into a girl and her dog in the park. She panics.

A/N: Sooo, I’m not dead. I also am out of the hospital! I wrote this in the hospital while feeling GREAT on pain meds so who knows if its good... Anyway. I have A LOT more of this story if you are interested, maybe it could become a series. Also if anyone has a better name... I am open to something different.

You were walking through Stuyvesant Park in Manhattan. It was a smaller park with nice walkways you liked to walk with your Golden Retriever, Winter . You had tried to take him on walks in Central Park when you first moved to New York, but it was way too busy for both you and your dog.

See, Winter was missing a front leg, hence the name. You had always been a Marvel fan, reading first edition Captain America comics with your Grandpa, who was a World War II vet. 

~Flashback~

You had been looking for a service dog for months, to help with chronic pain as well as your anxiety and depression, but you didn’t want to buy a puppy from a store or a breeder. You had almost given up hope on finding a puppy to train when you decided to visit a shelter a few hours outside of the city.

You asked the girl at the front desk if they had any younger dogs, since you needed to be able to train it, and she led you too a few different cages. The first few were all small breeds, Pomeranian, Terriers, Pugs… And while you would have gladly taken all of them if possible, you had to explain to the worker that you were looking for a larger breed to become a service dog. When you said so, her smile widened before dropping from her face.

“We do have one large breed, he’s a Golden Retriever but I don’t think he’d be that great as a service animal.”  The sweet lady said as she walked you out of that room and down a hall. “He’s an amazing pup, he is only seven weeks old and was dropped off a month ago, left in a crate by the front door, we didn’t see him until the next morning… his eyes weren’t even open yet.” She opened a door with a ‘Staff Only’ sign, “We had to separate him from the other dogs, even the small ones. He does great with them, he wants to play and is super friendly, but the other dogs picked on him” She points toward the only occupied cage in the room. 

You looked in the cage and instantly fell in love. There was a little puppy cuddled up in a bed way too big for him, sleeping. When you touched the cage doors, his eyes opened and locked with yours. 

He had two different colored eyes, one brown and one blue. Once he had fully woken up, he tried to approach the cage doors. That's when you realize why the employee didn’t think he’d be a good service dog, why he had to be separated from the other dogs.

He was missing his front left leg. 

It was wrapped in bright red gauze. You looked up at the employee, “What happened to him?” You said, your heart breaking for this little puppy. 

She looked sad, obviously expecting you to not want to adopt him, “We aren’t sure. We think he was probably used as a bait dog because his eyes. He’s a purebred goldie, but the eyes would be called an ‘imperfection’. He’s pretty much totally healed though. The stitches came out two days ago, and the only reason it’s wrapped is because he doesn’t really know how to walk on only three legs yet.”

Your heart was shattered, “Can I hold him?” You say, looking over at the lady. 

She walks over and unlocks the cage, pulling out the little bundle of fluff whose tail starts wagging the second the door opened up.

Right when she hands him to you he reaches his little head up and licks your cheek. You locked eyes with him, his brown and blue meeting your e/c. 

“I’ll take him.”

He was the best dog ever, given the name Winter because of your affinity for Marvel and his lack of a front leg. He quickly learned how to properly run again and became an amazing service dog. 

~End of Flashback~

You and Winter went on a walk at least once a week, as per request by your therapist. You tried your best to always do it, even if it was just a lap around the block.

You weren’t paying attention, letting Winter lead you. You knew he wouldn’t lead you off the path. 

But you weren’t expecting to get rammed into my a brick wall of a man. 

The next thing you knew you were flat on your ass and Winter was licking your cheek, something he often did when you dissociated. 

“I am so sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was going, are you okay?” You could hear a familiar sounding voice above you, but you were still in shock.

Dazedly you reply, “Yeah… Yeah I’m okay” Winter finally stops licking you and instead rubs his face against yours. The feeling of his rough collar rubbing against you snapping you out of it.

“Oh my gosh, I am so so sorry,” You say while quickly standing up, black spots taking over your vision causing you to stumble right into the man you already ran into once.

“I can’t beli-” You cut yourself off as you lock eyes with the person who is now holding you in his arms. “Yo-yourrr… Sebastian Stan. Holy… HOLY SHIT.” You say as you push yourself out of his arms. 

When you are an appropriate distance away, you realize what you’d just done.

You could feel your breathing pick up, not quite hyperventilating but quickly getting to that point.

Looking everywhere but his eyes you say, “I am so so sorry. I can’t believe I did that. Winter usually keeps me from hitting people and I didn’t even realize I- I… I can’t breath.” You didn’t feel the panic attack coming until it was too late.

You felt Winter pull out of your grip, running towards the nearest person as he was trained to do when you got like this, it just so happened that the nearest person was Sebastian, the main cause of your panic attack. 

You felt hands on your shoulders, leading you forward towards a bench. Once you were sat down you felt Winter pull your medication pack off of your backpack. You had this specially made for him so that he could give the bag to the person you were with, and they could give you the pills. 

Sebastian was talking but there was no sound reaching your ears until you hear the pill bottle shake. He held one of your pills in front of you, and you shakily tried to grab it, knocking it on the floor. He got another one out and put it directly in your mouth.

You sat there for what felt like hours, trying to ground yourself. Winter was licking your face and your hands were buried deep in his fur. You weren’t even sure Sebastian was still there until the attack subsided, and you felt his hand rubbing comforting circles on your back. 

“I’m- I am so… sorry.” You choke out between gasps for air.

“Shhhh, you didn’t do anything wrong. It’s fine. What’s your name?” Sebastian says, his other hand reaching and petting Winter, who was now investigating the person touching his mom since the crisis was averted. 

“Y/n, my names Y/n.” You say, looking up at Sebastian and trying to keep your voice steady and breaths calm.

Sebastian smiles at you, now that he can see your face, “Y/n, that’s a really pretty name. I’m Sebastian, but I am guessing you already knew that.” Is he blushing?

You remembered shoving him after recognizing his face, right before you had a panic attack and broke down in front of him… Oh God no.

You gape at him before quickly looking away, trying to speak but not being able to. 

“Hey no, no it’s okay. You did nothing wrong, I ran into you!” He quickly says, trying to make you feel more comfortable.

“But I wasn’t watching where I was going,” You whimper.

You were so embarrassed, -What the fuck is wrong with me?- You think, looking towards Winter when tears well up in your eyes.

Sebastian grabs your hand and tugs, forcing you to look at him as a tear makes its way down your face, following the tear tracks from your panic attack “Hey! Nothing is wrong with you!”

Shit you must have said that out loud. 

For some reason this made you mad, mad at yourself and your body, but you took it out on him. 

You could tell when your facial expression changed to anger, as he looked even more concerned, “Nothing’s wrong? Nothing’s wrong!? I not only just rammed into you, but had a full blown panic attack in front of you because you’re famous! You had to feed me my fucking medicine and comfort me while I am sobbing and snotting all over! Do you know how embarrassed I am!? Why did you even stay?”

He looked at you with a confused face, “What do you take me for? An asshole that leaves a girl in distress just sitting in the middle of the park? Y/n… I would never do that to anyone, especially someone that I caused to have a panic attack.” He looks ashamed and it instantly wipes away your anger.

You both sat in silence for almost ten minutes, the only noise coming from the park around you and Winter, who was still panting from calming you down.

“You didn’t cause my panic attack.” You whisper.

Sebastian looks at you, “What?” You lock eyes with him, “You didn’t cause my panic attack. I have really bad mental… issues, and today has just been a bad day. I thought I could work through it but I knew I shouldn’t come out today.”

“Y/n you shouldn’t have to worry about that. You seem like a sweet girl and I am really sorry you are going through this. But… It seems like you have a pretty good friend to help you out.” He says, pointing towards Winter. “He’s a Golden Retriever right? What’s his name?”

You groan internally, “Ugh, this is so awkward.” You say, giggling a little when you see his confused face. He tilted his head to the side, a lot like a confused puppy. “His name’s Winter… I thought it was the perfect name since he’s missing his left front leg.”

It’s very obvious when Sebastian blushes this time, a bright red flush rushing up his neck. “Wow, so you really are a fan huh.” He says to you, your face quickly matching his, “Come here Winter, can I pet you?” 

Winter bounds up to him, excited to have a new friend. Sebastian is petting him when a group of girls with cameras show up.

They started asking him for pictures, saying how much they loved him and making you feel extremely awkward. You knew you still looked a mess from earlier, so while he was talking to his fans, you started walking the other way. Looking back once and locking eyes with him. For some reason you thought he looked sad, but you were probably just being hopeful.

~Sebastian’s POV~

Y/n.

Such a pretty name. 

Pretty name to match a pretty face, even with tears streaming down it.  He probably would have used a cheesy pick-up line on any other girl. 

But not Y/n.

Not the girl that just had a panic attack in his arms. Not the girl who cursed at him and yelled despite knowing who he was. Not the girl that named her service dog after his character.

He loved his fans, he really did, but right now they were getting on his nerves. He just wanted to talk to Y/n… To this girl he just met but was already so enamored by.

He took pictures with the girls, trying to keep his eye on Y/n’s back as she walked away. Locking eyes with her once more before she turned a corner and was blocked by the trees.

The girls surrounding him were talking, but he wasn’t really listening.

Eventually he couldn’t take it, he didn’t want to lose her. 

“I’m sorry, I really need to go. It was great to meet you!” He says to the girls surrounding him while starting to back away.

While most of his fans were understanding, there was always one that thought they were entitled to more. 

The majority of the group said their goodbyes, but one girl rolled her eyes. “Why? So you can follow that girl who was crying? What, is she your girlfriend?” She stepped closer to Sebastian, grinning. “You could just stay with me, I’m sure I am a lot more fun.”

He stepped away and turned around, “It doesn’t matter what I am doing or if I am following her or not. I need to go, enjoy your picture!”

As he ran after Y/n he heard the girl behind him make an irritated noise, but he didn’t care. He just wanted to catch up to Y/n.

Good thing he was in running gear.

~Y/n’s POV~

You were walking along the path, not really paying attention even though that is what got her into this mess. You just wanted to get to your car and go home. 

You were almost to your car when someone grabbed your shoulder. 

You may have screamed, but you definitely turned and punched the person who grabbed you square in the nose.

“Holy shit! What the fuck Y/n?” A familiar voice says, muffled through his hands that are covering his now bleeding nose and mouth.

Shit, it was Sebastian. Why the fuck did he grab you?

You ran forward and put your hand under his chin, gently tipping his face up towards yours. 

“I am so sorry, I wasn’t paying attention and you startled me!” You weren’t sure what to do, there was blood going everywhere. Winter was trying to jump up on Sebastian, sensing his pain.

Sebastian looks up, “Sorry, I shouldn’t have grabbed you. I just didn’t want you to get away from me.” You were confused, “Why? I was just heading home… I live really close to here, do you wanna come? I can clean you up and I probably have clothes there that would fit you… I kinda ruined your shirt.”

Sebastian looked up at you, “You sure? I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.” Say no.

Say you changed your mind.

You give the man in front of you a small smile, “Yeah, definitely!”

Wait… What? What the fuck did you just do?

[emisfritish]

The risk it took to blossom (Part 3)

Pairing : Sarawat / Tine (2gether the series)

Summary : Five times someone talked Tine through his self-doubt and helped him see his worth, and the one time he didn’t need them to. Chapter : 3/6

Previous chapters : 1 / 2 / 

Next chapters : 4 / 5 / 6 Notes : Hi ! So I can’t let this one go through without a few announcements, so here goes: first, this one kind of hits close to home for me. So if it’s not too much to ask, ben gentle maybe ? Second, there is a possible trigger for eating disorders. It’s not actually what’s going on here, but it’s close enough that I feel more comfortable mentioning it before hand. Be safe guys. In spite of all of this, this is also my favourite installment in this story I think, so hopefully you enjoy it as well !

-------- 

“And here’s for you, gentlemen !”, exclaims Peuk as he comes back to the table where their joined group of friends is sitting, before putting down a plate with a huge amount of mango sticky rice in front of them and enough spoons to go around. 

“Mango sticky rice !” exclaims Tine happily, before he takes a spoon full of the food and eats it all in one go. This is his favourite dessert, and no place does it quite like this restaurant. 

All of the boys start eating the dessert as well, happily laughing and teasing each other. 

“Wow Tine, it’s a wonder how you can keep that delicate figure with the amount of this you can eat,” Boss teases good-naturedly, and Tine instantly feels himself go tense. He just smiles in response and eats the spoon full he just took, before putting it down, not really hungry for anymore right now.

Maybe Boss is right and he should be a little more reasonable right now. He does have to be on his A Game for this next cheer leading competition in a couple weeks. 

“What are you talking about, have you seen him cheer ? Tine obviously burns all of those calories through the energy needed for those ! Not everyone spends their time lounging on the bench, watching their teammates play football like you do,” retorts Man while clapping his friend on the back. The entire table laughs, and almost everyone’s attention soon turns to throwing digs at Boss for various reasons. 

Tine feels a hand come up on his knee and squeeze, and he turns towards Fong, sending him a grateful smile for the gesture of solidarity. He can also feel Sarawat’s eyes on him, his boyfriend most likely having noticed that something isn’t quite right, so he reaches under the table to take his hand in his and squeezes it, silently communicating that everything is okay. 

His boyfriend being fairly introverted, he tends to be pretty observant in general. When it comes to noticing Tine’s mood though ? There was almost nothing he missed. And it had been the case since before they even started dating. It could be a bit of a pain when Tine was trying to hide his thoughts from his boyfriend, but most of the time it just felt nice to be… seen. Tine loves being this important to someone.

Sarawat reaches for his spoon and fills it with Mango sticky rice, before bringing it to Tine’s mouth to offer him a bite. Tine, no longer having much of an appetite, just smiles gratefully at his boyfriend but shakes his head to indicate that he doesn’t want any. 

Sarawat looks at him suspiciously, but doesn’t say anything to push the subject, which Tine is grateful for. 

The rest of the evening goes smoothly and Tine has fun with all of them, even though he doesn’t really eat anything else for the rest of the night. As they are all saying goodbye, Fong comes to stand in front of him and watches him intently, lifting a hand up to squeeze at his shoulder, and Tine just pulls his friend into a quick hug, before he turns back towards Sarawat. 

Him and Sarawat walk back towards Sarawat’s room in silence, and Tine, knowing that Sarawat noticed that something was off with him, tries to mentally prepare himself for the conversation that is about to happen.

They enter Sarawat’s room and both start getting ready for bed, most of the stuff necessary for Tine’s night time skin care routine having found their way to Sarawat’s room by now.

When Tine is almost done with his routine, and Sarawat is already seated at his bed watching him do it, he finally broaches the subject that Tine was still half hoping to avoid.

“Do you want to talk about what happened ?” he asks softly. 

“Talk about what ? Everything is fine,” Tine answers with a forced smile, turning to face Sarawat on the bed now that he is done. 

“Come on Tine, I know you. And I know when you’re not fine. We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, but don’t pretend with me, please ?” he asks, his tone almost pleading.

Tine deflates at the words, and he nods his understanding. He’s always amazed how, even now that they are officially together, Sarawat is always the one who is willing to show his vulnerability and ask for those things, while his first instinct is to put up his shields. Looking back, he realizes how brave Sarawat is, always willing to put his heart on the line, and he wants to be a little more like him. He doesn’t need to put up a front for Sarawat, he knows that. 

Sarawat pulls himself towards the opposite end of the bed, until he is sitting with his back pressed against the wall and his legs open, and Tine crawls on the bed to seat himself in between them, with his back pressed to his boyfriend’s chest.

Sarawat’s arms instantly go around him, and Tine nuzzles his neck in answer. He feels the other boy press a small kiss to his temple and he tries to draw strength from his boyfriend to start the conversation they are about to have. 

“I know he was only joking and that he didn’t mean any harm by it, but it’s just the comment Boss made earlier about the food that kind of got to me,” he finally says, explaining his earlier behaviour. 

“Got to you how ?” Sarawat’s hands are resting just above Tine’s hips, and one of his fingers makes its way under Tine’s tee-shirt, softly caressing the skin he can find there while waiting for him to answer.

“Well, it’s just… You know that I take pride in my appearance and how I look, and I work hard for it,” he begins to explain, and he feels Sarawat nod his head behind him. “Okay. Well… No one really knows this, apart from Fong and Type. But for a long time, like through most of my teenage years, really, I was almost constantly dieting. I was constantly watching everything I ate, and counting calories to try and be lean and thin, and trying to look…” 

“Chic,” Sarawat completes his sentence and Tine laughs softly. 

“Yeah, exactly,” he confirms. “It used to drive Type mad, and he would be so upset that I couldn’t let myself enjoy food without overthinking it, but I just couldn’t stop myself. It got to the point where it became a hyper-fixation and I was becoming miserable because of it, so I decided that it had to stop.”

“Did you ever…” Sarawat starts to ask, before he trails off. 

“No, never. I didn’t have an eating disorder, not really, at least. I was just kind of obsessed with calories and how many I was having per day, and I would just watch everything I ate. All the time. Fong is the one that ended up helping me get out of this mentality, actually,” he says with a small smile, forever grateful for what his friend did for him. 

“He found a therapist online and I went to see her a couple times, and that really helped. And then, for months, he would cook lunch for the both and us and bring it to me every single day. And I was not allowed to ask how many calories the food contained, or how fattening or sugary it was. And I had to eat all of it. He would cook all of my favourites too, and eventually, I learned to enjoy food again and to let go of this obsession. And honestly, nowadays, I barely give it a thought. I mean, I try to eat healthily and exercise, because I do still care about how I look, but I allow myself to eat whatever I feel like eating and I don’t spend too much time stressing over it all. I mean, you know that,” he explains, and Sarawat just nods silently. They both know the sweet tooth Tine can have at times.  

“But yeah… Even if that’s not really how I am anymore, sometimes when people make those kinds of comments, it pulls me back into that mentality a little and I lose my appetite. It’s a lot better, but it’s still a part of me,” he finishes explaining quietly.

He feels Sarawat’s arms pull him closer to his body. 

“Thank you for telling me,” he says in a small voice, and Tine just nods in answer, pressing a kiss to his neck. 

They lay in silence for a while, Sarawat obviously deep in thought, and Tine knows his boyfriend enough to know that something is on his mind, but he won’t bring up the subject until he feels like Tine would be comfortable with it too. 

“What are you thinking about,” he prompts softly, resting one of his hands on Sarawat’s thigh which is resting just next to his. 

“It’s just… Don’t take this the wrong way, please. Because I’m truly trying to understand, and I’m not judging. But why do you think you care so much about your looks ?” he asks in a timid voice that Tine almost never gets to hear from his boyfriend. He doesn’t mean to laugh, especially with how serious and considerate Sarawat is being. 

But it’s just such a Sarawat thing to ask, he can’t hold the small laughter that comes out. Of course his boyfriend wouldn’t understand. Sarawat is the type to get out of bed, pull on loose pants and a shirt, and call it a day. He’s just effortlessly beautiful that way. 

“Well, you happen to like my looks and my body Mister,” he retorts in a teasing voice, and he feels Sarawat laugh against his back.

“I do,” his boyfriend answers simply, one of his hands making its way up his chest until he squeezes it gently. 

They may have been together for months now, but the way Sarawat can be so unashamed in expressing his feelings both with his words and those gestures will never cease to amaze Tine.

“Pervert,” comments Tine, laughter in his voice. 

“But you know I would still love them as much as I do now no matter what though, right ? Simply because it’s you ?” he asks eagerly, and Tine feels his heart squeeze in his chest. 

Sarawat can sometimes be a man of few words, but somehow, he always knows the perfect ones to use in every situation in order to get his point across and reach his goal. Whether that be to make Tine blush, or to completely melt his heart.

“I do,” Tine reassures him, picking up his hand where it’s still resting on his upper chest and pressing a kiss in the middle of his palm.

“I think I care this much because for a long time, it kind of felt like it was the only thing I had to offer,” he finally tries to explain, and he feels Sarawat go tense behind him.

Tine sits up and lifts himself up from where he was laying against Sarawat’s chest, before he turns around so he’s facing him instead. As much as he was enjoying the comfort of Sarawat’s embrace, he kind of needs to see him to be able to explain this more clearly. 

“What do you mean ?” Sarawat asks in a small voice, once they’ve both settled into their new position, and Tine can hear the worry behind the question. 

“It’s just that… I have the perfect brother,” he finally settles on to try to explain, but he sees Sarawat start to frown. 

“Type is pretty great I guess, but I don’t understand what that has to do with anything,” Sarawat says in confusion.

“It’s just that growing up, I would hear all about Type’s great achievements. All the time. And it wasn’t Type’s fault, he never really wanted the attention in the first place. Plus I know it wasn’t easy for him because he got all of the pressure, but…,” Tine is trying to explain this as best as he can, but he realizes that it’s probably making no sense. 

“Like every time: with our teachers, with our family, even with my parents sometimes, although I know they didn’t mean to do it, it was just like… Type was the best. In everything,” he continues, looking down at where his hands are resting in front of him.

“And it makes sense, in a way. Type was the one with the good grades, he was the one that was well behaved while I could be a little hyper. He did volunteer work, attended meditation seminars, and just… You know Type, you’ve seen how kind he is. He would always get uncomfortable with the situation and try to bring the spotlight to my successes too. But no matter how hard we tried, it never really took,” Tine continues in a small voice, remembering the feeling of inadequacy he would get sometimes. 

For a long time, Type was truly the only one that even really saw him. Like actually saw him, and not just the front he would project to protect himself.

“So we would be at school or we would go to family reunions, and it was always like : ‘Type, heard you did a great job on that short story contest, good job !’ and ‘Tine, you’re looking good son’. And they never meant it in a mean way, it’s just… all they really thought I amounted to, I guess. Or the only thing they could think of when it came to me. And so after a while, it kind of became my thing. Type was the smart one, the kind one, the mature one... and I was the good looking one. And I figured, if it was going to be my thing, then I was going to do the best damn job I could and own it,” he finishes with a self-deprecating smile. 

Suddenly realizing that he got lost in his story telling and that Sarawat has been quiet almost the entire time, he finally looks up towards him, only to read the absolute heartbreak on his boyfriend’s face, the corners of his mouth downturned and his eyes misty. 

“I’m okay now though Wat, I promise,” he says with a small smile, before pressing a small kiss to his lips. 

“Tine… You know that’s not true though, right ? You know that that’s not all you have to offer, and that you are so much more than that, right ?” Sarawat finally asks in a shaky voice, as if almost afraid to hear the answer. 

“I do, I know that. It’s just like… This is difficult to explain,” he sighs softly. Why can’t he just find the perfect words to help Sarawat understand ? 

“On the one hand, yes, I do know this. I know, intellectually, that that’s not all I am. But on the other hand, sometimes… it doesn’t really feel like I actually know it ? It’s like the logical side of my brain understands, but the side of my brain that controls my emotions hasn’t quite caught up to that fact just yet,” he tries to explain, not sure if he’s getting his point across.  “Does that make sense ?” he finally asks Sarawat.

“I think it does,” he whispers in answer, reaching forward to caress his cheek softly. 

“You know your looks aren’t why I love you though, right ?” he continues with a small grin.

And yes. Tine does know that. How could he not, when he sees the pure look of adoration that sometimes crosses Sarawat’s face. One he’s still trying to reconcile with the idea of him being worthy of such a look.

Still, he’s not about to pass this opportunity. 

“They aren’t ?” he asks with a small smile, fishing for compliments. 

“No. In fact, until your emotions manage to play catch up with the rest of your brain, let me show you exactly why I do,” Sarawat responds. 

He pushes Tine backwards until he is lying on his back, before he crawls over him on his hands and knees.  

“First, I love you for this,” he whispers, bending down to press a small kiss to the top of Tine’s head. 

“You love me for my hair ?” Tine asks, a little confused with the idea of his hair being the first thing to come to Sarawat’s mind. 

He feels a huff of air blown on his forehead when Sarawat snorts. 

“No, not your hair, Tine.”

Tine thinks for a few seconds, before it finally clicks.

“Oh, my brain ?” he asks, and Sarawat smiles in answer and nods. 

“Even after I just asked you if you were talking about my hair ?” he says, laughing at himself. 

“Yeah, even then,” Sarawat responds with a fond smile, shaking his head in disbelief. 

“Then, I love you for those,” he says, before he bends down and presses a kiss to the hand that Tine has laying on his stomach. 

“My hands ?” Tine asks, wondering where Sarawat is going with this one. 

“Hmm,” answers Sarawat. “The hands that you use to play guitar and music. The same hands you use to help people and defend those that need it. I also love you for this,” he continues, as he lifts himself back up and presses a quick peck to Tine’s lips. 

“My smile ?” Tine asks, giving him one of said smiles. 

“Well, yes. That too. And the mouth you use to communicate your every thoughts with. Even knowing that they can range from the wisest to the most ridiculous ones at times,” he says with fondness, and Tine smacks him on the chest, prompting a laugh.

“And more importantly, I love you for this,” he whispers above Tine’s heart, before he presses a small kiss right above it. 

Tine’s heart, which had already been beating faster than should be recommended, goes absolutely wild at the words, and he can’t hold himself still anymore. 

“Okay, enough of this game. Come up here so I can kiss you properly Saraleo,” Tine ends up demanding, pulling Sarawat’s face towards his so he can finally kiss him like he’s been craving to, and show him how grateful he is. 

Tine might not have the best self-confidence right now, but he does have the best boyfriend. And while the front side of his brain catches up with the back side of it, having Sarawat remind him of his worth once in a while sounds pretty damn perfect. 

[vaguely-gestures-to-the-void]

Hindsight: My thoughts on Loki (2021)

As always, thanks for being here my friends. There’s definitely more nuanced discussion of this show, but I’m here for the vibes. Anyways, here’s my thoughts on Episode 3 of Loki. Bear in mind I hadn’t watched episode 4 before I wrote the review for 3. No hate on anyone/thing, it’s all my opinion.

Episode 3: LAMENTIS

Pre-title scene

I rioted when I heard Hayley’s voice. It’s a win for all of us.

C-20! Sylvie!

C-20’s lil dance was adorable. I love her.

I want Sylvie’s tie dye.

Is that Ralph Bohner?

The same place, but at night. Coincidence? I think not.

Sylvie’s powers have limits. She can’t search someone’s mind and take information, she needs them to willingly tell her though she can use her powers to do that.

TVA

Sylvie’s experienced. Always tie your hair into a bun before a fight.

Her music is nothing like what we’ve heard previously. It’s the Sylvie show folks.

The mural on the left side of the hall is the one from the credits scene.

The plaque above the elevators says ‘FOR ALL TIME ALWAYS’.

Even in the mural on the right side, the Time Keepers aren’t equal, the middle one takes up the most space.

Ravonna!

I love how their movements are similar. The head-snap-hair-flip combo is nearly identical, reflecting how they are the same person to some extent.

2077 Lamentis - 1

“Get off my leg!” SiblingTM energy.

“Goodbye, variant.” She sure has the Loki drama.

I finally remembered it’s called a TemPad. Rip.

“Don’t ever call me that.”

“Tech savvy?”

That’s so Ragnarok.

I love the music as we pan up to the planet. It’s the familiar, anxiety-inducing ticking for me lads.

“You idiot! This is Lamentis - 1.”

“I don’t know what that means!”

My siblings when I can’t restart the router (every country has an AT&T).

I like that it’s a moon that’s inhabited. It’s nearly always the planet, still not great for the people on it.

That slide to get under the dump truck was so smooth.

“So we’re a team now?” Jesus Loki needs friends. Probably a good therapist too.

“Didn’t need your help!”

“You’re so weird!”

I like the way Tom runs. Don’t know why. Just do.

Sidenote, my favourite running form is Chris Evans’.

Sylvie’s magic flickered so I genuinely think the enchantment didn’t work.

“Well then I’ll cut it out.” I like the way she says that. I am questioning so many things rn.

“Just because I have to work with you doesn’t mean I wanna hear your voice.” It’s ironic since they spend so much time talking about themselves.

“Alright, well, slow down… Variant.” They really play off each other’s egos to find weaknesses.

“You don’t know what you want.” Sylvie’s more straightforward in everything she does. She efficiently points out Loki’s flaws but when it comes to a goal, she’s meticulous.

“...just walk away.” Loki stops walking, but Sylvie does walk away. There is distance between them (for now).

I’ve had experience with mining towns like this one and whilst they weren’t so out-of-this-world (ya know) there is a tendency for rural and isolated communities to struggle with old/not maintained infrastructure. This is not everywhere, but it’s not uncommon from what I know. Even though these towns are a source of wealth, there isn’t distribution of the money and it’s a grim reality that’s being shown. I appreciate it.

The shot of them walking past a slab of that planet towards the hut is incredible. Wow.

The person in there is just waiting for their death. I’m going to be addressing a lot of the harsh realities in this episode folks so it won’t be so cheerful.

I understand that people weren’t so happy with this being a filler episode, but I think they got it right. It’s strange that a literal planet-moon collision doesn’t bring the tension that the hurricane did in the last ep, but by having an atmosphere that wasn't so omnius, they conveyed (to me at least) that hope was already lost. In the Roxxcart Disaster, the people believed that it wasn’t going to be the end. There’s desperation on Lamentis - 1 but as Sylvie said, the collapse of society occurs. That’s a large group of people realising that class divides will cause slaughter. It’s greed portrayed in two different ways, one being the integration of excessive capitalism into society, the other being social structure based on oppression. Not everyone’s reading into Loki like this but it’s a change from how Marvel usually approaches conflict.

We learnt about the characters and whilst I’m not a fan of when a plot line is moot (my bet is that Loki and Sylvie will be rescued next ep, making all the attempts to get off Lamentis - 1 pointless), it’s necessary for the characters to develop. The way Loki and Sylvie end up on Lamentis - 1 makes sense and the plot doesn’t feel forced.

“It’s remarkable that you made it as far as you did.”

Devils is recurring in this episode. Maybe this has implications on future episodes?

“Which one was that, diplomacy?” Why are their interactions so funny?

I don’t think I need to comment on the significance of the train station scene.

I would like to acknowledge that though this is good writing that’s relevant in the time it was released, we shouldn’t forget it’s coming from large corporations who aren’t perfect.

How do they just walk past the line?

The people who snitched were right in front of them.

Did the cat get Loki’s silvertongue? That was the most graceless lying I’ve ever seen.

Sylvie not sitting with her back to a door makes sense, but why won’t Loki go backwards on a train? They both have little quirks.

“That’s not a plan. That’s just doing a thing.” Loki went to the Thor school of planning, it’s Get Help all over again.

Loki’s exaggerated nods at the other guards lol.

Sylvie growls whenever she’s mad, it’s hilarious.

The close ups of their faces when the conversation gets personal and isn’t just trading jabs is great for conveying the authenticity of their answers.

Loki not pressing Sylvie when she clearly didn’t want to talk about what happened to her mother is something I appreciated.

Here’s to Tom for having to do magic for more than 10 years now. He’s so serious, I can only imagine how funny it is without the effects.

“Well she did.” Yeesh, has Loki gotten time to grieve?

Sylvie is genuinely impressive.

“Pity the old woman chose to die.”

“She was in love.”

I don’t quite understand what they were talking about then, I guess we’ll find out later?

Loki, why are you so unnecessarily dramatic?

I laughed. Who am I kidding, they’re dorks and I love them.

Loki is trying to find out anything, anyone who could be used against Sylvie.

Here’s to the postman, they’re probably dead but we appreciate Sylvie’s happiness anyways.

“A bit of both. I suspect the same as you.” AND THAT’S HOW YOU WRITE IN REPRESENTATION FOLKS!

Let’s just take our scraps and be happy, eh? It made my week.

They both need real relationships of any kind, guys.

“Love is… uh, something I might have to have another drink to think about.” Me whenever anyone asks me about my love life.

“You do realise… ...a civilisation’s only hope?” I think this was Sylvie’s way of making sure Loki’s (albeit grey) morals and drinking habits don’t interrupt her plan.

The train sure gives me Snowpiercer vibes.

Do I have to talk about Drunk Loki?

Tom’s singing voice is lovely.

Sylvie’s eyes shift nervously to the door and then back to Loki. She’s initially tense but she relaxes slightly though she knows she’s gonna have to clean up the mess.

���Nobody cares. It’s the end of the world.” Again, Loki’s headspace is one where existence is futile.

The green walls contrast the purple lighting nicely.

You can see plants (?) from the outside if you look out the windows. Talk about attention to detail.

Bruh what is the dagger about? Drunk Loki’s a comedic genius.

The descending notes in the background of Loki’s fireworks.

Sylvie’s smile when she goes to attack is animalistic. I’d like to see her character explored more in terms of how she views violence.

YEET.

“You’re right. I’m a god.” Loki’s defense mechanism is to state that his motives are above the understanding of others.

“You’re a clown.” Sylvie tells it as it is.

Loki and Sylvie’s reactions to the TVA contrast the most here. Sylvie is potentially motivated by vengeance or a need for revenge whilst Loki has resigned to numbing the pain (for now at least) as he comes to terms with his reality. The question of what drives you is so important for these characters, I’m excited to see whether they’ll find a common ground and wreak havoc on the sacred timeline.

Loki and Sylvie both struggle with communicating in a healthy way. Sylvie calls him out on his directionlessness and Loki tells her what may be the harsh reality of her plan. Neither of them are willing to accept it, but there’s potential for a strong bond if they do.

Sylvie’s scream lmao.

I love the colour of Loki’s pants.

Problem? Solution! Do thing! Is Sylvie’s method of thinking when all is lost.

Gosh I love the shots in this episode.

“That’s a pretty good life.” Sylvie’s definitely not lived as a royal, or not from what she remembers.

“I just need to know if I can trust you.” Sylvie giving up how she enchants people is an olive branch because as useful as the things that Loki told her may have been for manipulation, they both know the importance of her upper hand. But she only relents once Loki doesn’t have the TemPad. Later, when she asks whether she can trust Loki, it’s more of a reassurance because he’s already been vulnerable around her.

The actor’s body language and facial expressions are incredible. Loki’s eyebrow’s furrow slightly when Sylvie mentions C-20’s mind but Tom takes a second for the information to be processed rather than instantly reacting to Sophia’s next line. She does the same when Loki talks about the TVA workers being created. What skilled people they are.

The city is a wonderful piece of set design.

“We do, and you can.” They step into the light, neither of them have tunnel vision and are able to see a bigger picture.

“They’re gonna let these people die.” This show explores a side of Loki we haven’t seen before, his morality and compassion. He has grey areas that could be explored in the next season. It also points back to how Sylvie and Loki differ in their view of others. I think this is partially because of their childhoods. Loki was raised as a prince and cared about his people, but Sylvie doesn’t share that perspective (“...they usually survive”), maybe because of her past. Hopefully in the upcoming episodes we’ll get a bit more of her backstory.

That sequence is beyond words. The constantly rotating and revolving camera really hammers home that it’s a disorienting fight for their lives at the end of the world. I’m speechless, just watch it.

The music in that blue-purple-pink club was banging tho.

Loki and Sylvie’s posture, facial expression and general body movement is similar. The variant point is hammered home here.

It’s interesting how Loki is in shock/denial of the Ark being destroyed whereas Sylvie immediately leaves.

The end music of this episode is beautiful. I love how it all builds to leave us on the soft tones of Dark Moon.

No one’s interested, but my mum and I bonded over the Jim Reeves version of this song and the Bonnie Guitar one.

Ep 3 review

Short episode with not much going on other than character development. However, if the first two were anything to go by, this episode will have greater implications on the plot. The pacing of this show is a bit strange, but we may see this change in the next season.

I mentioned previously that it would be a shame if the entire plot of this episode was made irrelevant by how they get off Lamentis - 1 next ep. This show has been really good at keeping us on our toes with the writing so they probably won’t take turns that have been speculated.

Happy mid-season guys! The following two episodes were apparently Tom’s favourites so we can expect some mayhem up ahead. See you next time!

Here's the link to my Ep 2 review

[bow-woahh]

She-Ra season 5 thoughts

A chaotic summary of my feelings/ reactions of each episode! Spoilers. Obviously. 

Episode 1 — Horde Prime

- First of...Adora stop throwing yourself into battle challenge - "You're not She-Ra anymore" — TELL HER SIS - The way Catra was so smug but Glimmer was not having any of it "You're just as alone as I am" if that ain't the truth idk what is - Catra wanting the climb up the ranks? Sis I don't think so let's see how long that lasts - The DINNER pissed me the fuck OFF - Oh yeah here's my obligatory SW FUCK OFF CHALLENGE - Micah, King, glare at her!! Yes!! - The way Scorpia said "Catra thought my singing was annoying" honey - That clone was SO annoying stfu about Prime being omniscient and omnipresent and shit like ugH idC - Bow and Adora are the BROTP - Scorpia stinging Adora to keep her safe - and that's on friendship - The way Prime INSTANTLY called Catra out "Adora means something to you" listen I hate the gay but damn he's smart. He saw right through her act. - "Adora chose her side and I chose mine" that doesn't mean you don't still care Catraaa - Also that was REALLL quick lmaoo the way five seconds she was like "imma climb up the ranks" then in about two secs HP was like "sis I have no use for you" - "What are you going to do to me?" IM CRYING - Adora and those weird flashback PTSD things -- are u okay sis?? - This was the first episode and I already want to cry so....wow

Episode 2 — Launch

- Adora omg she's so fatigued girl S L E E P - Bow getting pissed at everyone for not letting her rest...what a king - Catra disobeying HP and talking back to that clone but then HP took its form...fuck man that shit scary - STOP CALLING HER  LITTLE SISTER CHALLENGE JESUS FUCK - Everyone hates Entrapta wow ouch - Literally Entrapta being horny over robots is hilarious lmaoo - Mermista is a great leader and they worked so well together ahhh! I'm loving Scorpia and Frosta's friendship - Entrapta got the signal!! I'm proud -  Adora stop following holograms and illusions challenge -  Adora being all like "I don't know my destiny anymore but I know I need to save my friend." LIKE YES HONEY -  Glimmer is sO volatile like honey,, did you need to break HP's crystal ball thingy?? DID U?? -  also she knows her dad is alive now and that H U R T S ++ I bet she doesn't know the sword is broken so fuckkl -  Micah as She-Ra?? something I never knew I needed -  SW not being in this episode at all? love that for us - "I reinstate my horray" I LOVE YOU SCORPIA - "Can you stay?" MY FUCKING HEART GLITRA FRIENDSHIP HERE WE COME

Every episode I just feel immense f E AR

Episode 3 — Corridors

- THIS STARTS W BABY CATRA AND ADORA?? NOELLE WHY ARE TRYNA KILL US?? - Catra and Glimmer talking about sleepovers and Adora...damn my heart - Adora and her stupid ponytail 💀 - "I'll never say sorry!" - THE WAY YOUNG CATRA WAS SO JEALOUS EYE— - "There's no one in the entire universe who cares about me." - "Im sorry! For everything." IM SO UPSET WTF -  CATRA IS FUCKED BUT SHE SAVED GLIMMER -  HP GTFO CHALLENGE -  I'm so proud of my baby tho wow... -  What the fuck we gone do now? -  so much happened in this episode so this is a lot shorter because my brain is numb. Catra is gonna get brainwashed?? isn't she?? -  "I want to do that one good thing in my life." IM CRYING Y'ALL

Episode 4 —Stranded

- Adora is like "Catra, Catra?? saved you?? wtaf?” Lmaoo - Bow and Glimmer fighting is hurting my HEART - KYLE HAS A CRUSH ON ROGELIO?? SCORPIA DONE EXPOSED IT AHHH - Swifty tryna contact Adora?? kinda cute - him impersonating everyone was onbrand and kinda funny ngl - The way Adora is like "it's complicated" lmaoo girl everything is w you - I live the star siblings omg yeS - "I have to save someone. Someone I—" omFG ADORA - Adora is S T R O N K - she GLOWED OMFG SHE RA?? IS THAT U?? - BOW AND GLIMMER BEING OKAY?? MAYBE - Etherians really are wilding out here - YESSS THEY JOINING THE REBELLION - "Maybe we'll never be friends like we used to be."  Glimmer...I love her sm - "I can't just leave her there. I have to try." Adora actually cares so much about her!! and I love Glimmer being supportive wow we love a queen! - THE BEST FRIEND SQUAD IS BACK TOGETHER!! LETS GOO - "She-Ra is back." Swift Wind is annoying but thank you. thank you for saying that horse.

I literally threw my hoodie across the room and forgot that I did that wow lmao

Episode 5 — Save the Cat

- My friend who's ahead me said wait for episode 5 now I'm fucking S H OO K - this episode name has me shook I can't - its WRITTEN BY NOELLE?? WE'RE FUCKED - I love Wrong Hordak SM what an idiot - Catradora really is gonna be canon wow - WTAF IS THAT SHE IS NOT MY CATRA SHE IS A CLONE her hair tho?? kinda nice - the way HP said "your Catra." like low-key he said gay rights - "You broke my heart. And he has made me whole again." - "We both know I don't matter"  and "you're and idiot" "I know" THESE TWO ARE MADE FOR EACH OTHER - SHE JUMPED OFF A CLIFF FOR HER - the way she's holding her?? so soft - SHE RA IS LOOKING FLY -- and is she taller?? - "You miscalculated" YES QUEEN I LOVE HER. THAT WHOLE FIGHT SCENE WAS AMAZING - FuCK HORDEP PRIME - Darla is the best Light Hope SUX - the "Hey, Adora" was SO SOFT IM SO HAPPY

That episode really hiT different Catradora is DEFINITELY canon EVERYONE SAY THANK YOU NOELLE

Episode 6 - Taking Control

- Adora. Chill. - Catra's trauma...wow - honestly I have SO MUCH TO SAY and so little at all. - The ending w Catra joining was so cute and all the Catradora interactions are SENDING ME this is the development I need - "Adora. Stay." MY HEART - thank fuck that chip is gone YAY - Entrapta and Catra making up? Catra saying "Thank you and I'm sorry" her least favourite words -- characters DEVELOPMENT - The way Catra blushed when Adora transformed GIRL YOURE GAY - SHERAS POWER IS TOO MUCH SLAY GIRL - Horde Prime FucK off challenge I hate him - Micah tryna be a father figure? cute - the endING FUCK WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT SPINNERALLA??? POOR NETOSSA

okay but where tf is DT, KYLE, LONNIE AND ROGELIO??

my mum is so tired of me screaming lmaoo

Episode 7 — Perils Of Peekabloo

- Catra just SAT on Adora's lap the PDA is unmatched - We love a filler wow - we literally can't trust anyone this shit sucks - SCORFUMA STANS STAY WINNING - Mermista and Seahawk kinda cute tho (the  heart eyes) - DT I KNEW IT   - CASH KITTEN? EYE—JUST SAY SUGAR MOMMA AND GO - NETOSSA DOESN'T DESERVE THIS - MERMISTA TO - EVERYONE is chipped WTF - DT is a theatre gay through and through   - THEY'RE FUCKED WE'RE FUCKED - NOOOO SCORPIA 😭😭😭 - "I'm the muscle, remember?" - SCORPIA'S POWER, HER REACH, IT'S AMAZING - everything is going downhill FAST - "Happy Anniversary" EYE—😭😭😭😭😭

well that sucked What the fuck we gone do now?

Episode 8 - Shot in the Dark

- The soft smile Catra gave Adora while teasing? love that - loving this new squad - the wAY HER TAIL FLUFFED UP SHES SO SCARED MAN - Wrong Hordak is my main g - the LAUGHING!! THE BLUSHING!! EVERYONE CAN SMELL THE GAY TENSION - omg Catra being the brains of the operation?? yes please - "Catra's first mission" THEY'RE SO OBNOXIOUS I LOVE THEM - "I'm going to kill your friends." "Please don't." we are ASCENDING - Casta? Strike her down anyway please 🙏 - Adora is SO WHIPPED the way she blushed at Catra making the door - "It's such a cute sneeze" BOW KNOWS IT CATRA IS CUTE AND THATS THE TEA - literallyyyy I hate SW GTFO CHALLENGE get OFF my screen 😡 - CATRA WHY DID YOU LUNGE AT THAT THING?? - OMFG MAGICAT?? (Nope dumb bitch) - "I'm coming!" "Hurry." - "I'm sorry. I got angry. It's something I'm working on" ADORA GLOWED AND SAID "You are?" WE LOVE SELF GROWTH AHH - It was Catra's hand OMFG IN THE TRAILER - Adora and cat thing being magic? we love it - MELOG IS SO CUTE and Catra can talk to it?? wowow - they love taking strays lmao - Wrong Hordak's character arc is the best one in the show - CATRA HAS AN IDEA?? YES - Preach Casta shut Weaver up - "That about sums it up, yes." I love them as a team - the hand holding? so cutee Catra don't pretend you're not whipped - oml Glimmer kissing Catra before Adora? EYE— Glitra shippers gonna be so happy at that one moment lmaoo - THEY'RE HOMEEEE

ahhh we're getting close to the end nooo

Episode 9 —An ill Wind

- oh god oh god - Catra is so badass with Melog i LOVE HER EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL  - having to fight your own wife? that shit sucks - Erelandia? it's free - omg HP is angry asfff - FROSTA CHILL SHE PUNCHED HER HARD - Adora and Catra are soft 🥺 that's all I have to say

Episode 10 — Return to the Fright Zone

- omg are we gonna see Kyle?? Lonnie? Rogelio?? (also nope, stupid hoe) - okay but Netossa getting screentime? YES PLEASE - I love the intro sm ahhhh - also her knowing everyone's weakness? love that shit - ouch Perfuma ouch didn’t have to go so hard on Catra and YET - omg I forgot Bow's dads existed - "Mostly bad memories" 😔😔😔 - competitive gfs for the win - Catra FLEW tho WOW Scorpia is STRONK - the dad jokes are immaculate - "I'm working is being a better friend. That has to count for something right?" - "We don't throw tanks at our friends" sis you don't give flowers to your them at this current time either - "why did I get stuck with the water Princess?" Catra...baby I love you - omg there's a fail safe THANK FUCK I was legit speechless - "There's real power in love and friendship" preACH IT GIRLIE - SCORPIA FIGHT IT YESSS - legit forgot Spinny and Netossa were fighting lmao oof - FINALLY ANGST OVER THE WIVES ARE BACK - omg THE PAN TO ADORA ABOUT BEING VULNERABLE AHHHH - Perfuma is Catra's therapist that's my headcanon - OMFG I FORGOT ABOUT SW FUCK SHIT CATRA BABY IM SORRY

damn I'm stressed out

Episode 11 — Failsafe

- Weaver STFU challenge - them taking about their abuse? we love to see - "We— I could really use your help" KILL ME NOW THEY'RE TOO MUCH - "Not because I like you" she says SMILING - Melog is Catra's affectionate side prove me wrong - Stan Entrapta for clear skin - SW doesn't deserve rights (as per usual) - DONT TOUCH HER BITCH LITERALLYYYY WHYYY - and now She Ra is glitching?? fuck - Catra is so jumpy eye— "Trust Me" MY HEART SBSBDB - Weaver really called her a DISTURBANCE STFU 💀💀💀 - Entrapta and bird horse ftw what a tag team - OMG NO BE CAREFUL - "Did you just jump in fire to save me?" SHE WAS SO SMUG - can SW burn like... now? - "It's none of your business" LITERALLY BUTT OUT  - "Catra, she distracts you, confuses you." WEAVER I FUCKING HATE YOU SM I FUCKING I WILL PUNCH MY SCREEN - Entrapdak being a thing? I do not know how to feel - "Your imperfections are beautiful."  I am.... conflicted - SW doesn't deserve screen time - Catra is an i no cap (I genuinely have no clue what I meant so sorry about that) - i think the fuck not - this episode is so stressful - Catra saving Adora >>>>>>>>> - what an awful reunion for Glimmer damn - "It doesn't always have to be you!" IKR IT SHOULD BE WEAVER - fuck dark magic fuck it all - Catra's upset?? no my baby 🥺 - this whole episode is just traumatising - Adora's heart do be glowing - Catra's LEAVING?? why?? - "What do you want Adora?" - MY HEART BEEN BROKE SO MANY TIMES I DONT KNOW WHAT TO BELIEVE 😭😭 - omg this time instead of Adora leaving it's Catra (you are a dumbass DUH) - that H U R T S - ADORA TELL HER YEs QUEEN

omg HEART NEXT???

Episode 12 — Heart Part 1

- I am not prepared for this - Adora...baby I'm so sorry - Glimbow moment with a banjo?? that was cute - Adora really is a party popper - "Adora doesn't want me. Not like I want her." AND THAT'S ON LESBIANISM BUT ALSO FUCKING OUCH  - but really Catra...do you really think Adora doesn't want you? girl are youb B L I N D?? - Wrong Hordak is MY GUY - Stan the rebellion for clear skin - NOOO WHAT THE FUCK MY HEART DON'TPLAY WITH ME LIKE THAT THEY NEARLY KISSED AND IT WAS A FUCKING SIMULATION - real Catra be CAREFUL - "We have to warn Adora" YES SIS WARN YOUR GF  - "I thought I could make my own destiny" U STILL CAN SIS - I'm scared I'm fucking scared - my HEART IS BEATINGG FASTT - I really hate Horde Prime uhhhhhhhgg - for once in your sorry life do something good Weaver jfc - "I can't leave her behind again" - BEST FRIEND SQUAD + MELOG YES - "Bow, I love you." GLIMBOW IS BACK ON AHHH - BUT AT WHAT COST??? (literally what am I saying??) - "You deserve love too." AND THAT'S ON PERIODT - Glimmer coming in clutch!! - Mermista and Seahawk do be cute tho - Micah is actually the worst rn wow - "Goodbye, my oldest enemy" CATRA COME QUICK AHH

the last episode....I'm not ready to say goodbye

Episode 13 — Heart Part 2

- ofc this is written by Noelle - "Hey, Adora" MY HEART - "I'll catch up okay? Get to the heart." - SW ACTUALLY DIED?? THANK YOU MY GIRLS CAN HEAL NOW

andd that's as far as I got before freaking the fuck out with everything that was happening onscreen but THE CATRADORA KISS WAS EVERYTHING and the ending was perfect 🥺💖

—

Thank you Crew-Ra, Noelle for making such a beautiful and heartwarming show, this will be remembered for years to come because what this show did was incredible and unlike anything I've ever watched.

[devolympian]

Argo, chapter 4

Argo, chapter 4

Interesting thing to note for when you have what most people consider familial obligations and appointments to meet at a specific time, more often than not, you have the responsibility of waking at a designated time of day. Usually at the ripe healthy time of say, oh I don’t know, 5:15 A.M.

With this set responsibility and a need to earn a living inorder to drive a consumer centric economy with which one needs to survive in it is best to get the recommended amount of sleep 

So, between the multiple rounds of personal gaming tournaments, mountains of junk food and soda, and completely being unwilling to actually go to bed, I can proudly say none of us did that as about three hours after we had all decided to crowd into Skyes bed a loud beeping noise filled the room.

“Well shit” I happily state in an enthusiastic tone as my sleep deprived eyes look up at her ceiling.

“I’ll get it” said an even more sleepless voice to the left of my body, as Skye began to sit up and lean over a still unconscious Clair and I.

She promptly fell on top of us, her massive curly mess of blonde hair practically working as a second blanket that covered the three of us.

“Blondie” I questioned as her green eyes slowly began to close, “you gonna get that one or?”

“Five more minutes.”

And with those words Skye began to softly snore, her chest on top of mine, as she used my shoulder for a pillow.

Clair made sure to do her part by not waking up to the alarm clock and unconsciously wrapping her arms around me and Skye and pulling us into her naked body. 

Yes, Clairabell sleeps naked and it’s perfectly okay that she does so.

With a slight shrug I was perfectly content with letting the alarm clock run its course as I fell back to sleep sandwiched between these too. But, naturally, I remembered that I had a prior engagement to visit some family members who don’t particularly like being stood up.

Shimmying myself upwards I managed to slither out from in between the girls and did my best to step over Clair as she and Skye cuddled under the blanket seemingly unaware that I had left the pile.

Tapping the alarm I went about and started my day.

First thing’s first I made my way to the restroom; stepping over the various soda cans, wrappers, and half finished snacks we had decorated Skyes floor with the night prior (ooh cheetoh, nom), I was determined to perform the most important act of the day which everyone must do regardless of their social political views on it. The brushing of teeth and a warm shower.

Not saying you’re wrong if you don’t do this daily, just saying you need a therapist and time in a mental institute.

Now, let me take this moment to inform you about Skyes bathroom. It is ridiculous, not only because no one needs a personal restroom in their bedroom, but also because of the fact that the place was almost as big as her actual room with a tub that could easily fit three people, yes we’ve tested it, but also a large closet which is now overflowing with various dresses and cute outfits all of which were hand made.

None of these details are important to the story, I feel you should know, they are just my personal thoughts which I felt like sharing.

Anywho, after a nice shower, and making my mouth not smell like ass with the tooth brush I left here, which everyone needs to use TWICE a day, I wrapped the one of Skyes soft pink towels around my hips and headed on over to her dresser.

Now, I think what you’re wondering right now is “Alex, why the hell are you going through your best friend's clothes?” And even if you weren’t I will tell you any ways.

Ever since I was a wee lad Skyes room has been basically my second room, hell I think I’ve slept in her bed more than my own over the years. This was all well and good when we were little and innocent and we could basically fit into each other's clothes, but when this thing called puberty attacked us that started to change.

I got taller, my arms and legs got longer, I started shooting lightning, I got a six pack, a strong jaw, started getting hit on by older women and men even though I was like 12. You know, normal stuff like that.

Skye, on the other hand, went in kind of the opposite direction with her growing less in height and more in boob, and hip. She also gets hit on by older women and men so at least we -    have that experience in common.

In short, I had to start bringing over clothes whenever I stayed the night and sense I stay here a lot, a few of my outfits have more or less made their home in the dresser she keeps her TV and video games on. Granted, we do end up wearing eachothers clothes from time to time, but that’s besides the point.

Pushing our plates from last night to the side and setting the controllers we used back where they went I dropped my towel to the ground and started shifting through the drawer in the search for the allusive boxer shorts.

“Ooh” a tired voice called out, “that’s a nice sight to wake up to.”

I tilted my head in the direction of the bed to see Clair sitting up, her violet eyes still not fully open as she smiled at me.

“Good morning dear” I said, “sleep well, dreams of rainbows and kittens maybe?”

“More like blood, fire, death, all the fun stuff.”

“You and I have very different dreams. . . why am I only noticing that now?”

Clairabell giggled a little, then took a look around the bedroom with her expression changing to slight shock at what she saw.

“Wow, we really made a mess last night.”

“Yes well mortal kombat and super mario bros will do that.”

“Especially if someone spends the game trolling me and Skye!”

“What else was I supposed to do, not hit you with the turtle shell?”

With a sigh. Clair placed the tip of her thumb between her sharp canine teeth and bit down until I could see a bit of blood trickle out.

“Alright gals” she said, holding her hand out infront of her, “be dears and clean this mess up.”

The small amount of blood coming from her thumb quickly started to sizzle and bubbles soon began coming from it.

Every one of the bubbles quickly grew in size, changing color to a dark reddish brown before sprouting bat wings and ears. Each one had a cute cat-like face and little fangs poking out from their adorable smiling mouths.

Soon, Clair had at least ten little blood bats hovering around Skyes room, before they began picking up the mess we had made last night.

Also, I managed to find a pair of my boxers, so this was a huge win for everybody involved.

After stretching a little, Clair stood out of Skyes bed, making sure that the blanket stayed on our blond friend, before picking up her clothes from last night.

“Can’t sleep” I asked as I attempted to hunt down a pair of pants?

“Just thought I might as well wake up” she happily answered as she tossed her dirty laundry into Skyes clothing basket, “don’t want to make you feel lonely now do we?”

“Don’t worry, I know how to entertain myself whenever I’m naked and alone.”

“That’s what every girlfriend wants to hear.”

Just as I had, Clair went into the restroom to get ready for the day ahead.

She brushed her teeth, and I still can’t find a goddamn pair of pants.

“How long do you need to be on Olympus for?” I heard her call out as I slowly lost my mind from lack of lower body wear.

“Probably until ten or twelve hours. I might need to beg for forgiveness if the old man decides to snag a booty call and leaves me to deal with his wife.”

“Your dad’s gross.”

“I know that’s why I have two, but apparently neither of them can bless me with a pair of jeans.”

“Don’t you keep pants in that weird pocket thingy you have?”

“. . .”

Reaching my hand into the air I went ahead and opened the aforementioned pocket thingy, which was a small rip in space which works as a nice little storage space to keep stuff in. To most people it would look as though my hand disappeared into space, and they would be kind of right, one wrong move and my hand is gone. I can get it back, but it takes a while and requires more than two people.

Feeling my way past the treasure, bones, holy grails, and my new little worm buddy I found myself touching what felt like pants and pulled them out.

They were torn a little in the knees and a bit stained but worked for the day.

“Found my pants.”

“I am so proud of you.”

I chuckled a little and prepared to get these things on. But, before I could even slip a leg in, a still naked Clair had managed to get in front of me, wrapped her arms over my shoulder and leaned herself into a kiss.

Naturally, I did what every sane person would do when a naked woman throws herself at them. I grabbed her waist and pulled her close, our naked chest pressing against each other as she forced her tongue passed my lips and we went and explored each other's mouths.

The kiss lasted a good bit of time and I soon found myself pushing Clair against Skyes dresser, my hands sliding down her well toned body as she hooked her thumbs around the elastic band of the boxers I had put on just a moment ago and started pulling them off again.

Eventually we broke the kiss and Clair gave me a smug smile on top of her flushed face.

“Sure you have to go right now?”

With a slight smirk I lifted her onto the top of the dresser, her long legs instantly wrapping around my hips as I leaned in and whispered into her ear.

“I absolutely need to go right now.”

She gave me an annoyed groan before pushing me a little and angrily jumping off the dress as I pulled out a shirt from it.

“Oh come on” I said, laughing a little, “we can’t exactly hook up in Skyes room.”

“She’s sleeping.”

“Her parents are in the room across the hall.”

“I’ll be quiet.”

“I won’t. You know I’m a moaner.”

I wonder if Clairabell glaring angrily at me was a sign that I had annoyed her enough. Naw, I can be more annoying.

After slipping the pants on I popped the shirt I had grabbed over my head.

“That’s Skyes shirt” Clair pointed out as I slid the black tank top on, even though it was rather tight fitting. It had a cute little cartoon panda head smiling on the chest as its cheeks glowed a rosey pink.

“Yes'' I assured her as I fished out a pair of socks and slipped on my boots, “it is most definitely Skyes shirt.”

Clair sighed and patted a sleeping Skye head.

“I’m so sorry for your clothes Skee-skee.”

I watched as Skye slept peacefully next to Clairs lap and felt a slight lump build in my throat.

“Hey” I said without really thinking, “make sure you guys talk, okay?”

Clairabell gave me a confused look; one of her fangs slightly poking out of her upper lip while she tilted her head questioningly.

“Huh? We talk all the time though.”

“Yeah, but. . .”

I thought for a bit, trying to figure out the best words to use to bring up the subject.

“Just, maybe ask her how she’s feeling or something.”

“How does she feel?”

She looked down at blondie again.

“Tired. She’s tired.”

I chuckled and sighed, pushing my uneasy feeling away.

“Yep, that makes sense. Can you open the window for me?”

“Babe, there’s a door.”

“And?”

“. . . good point.”

Upon Clairs instruction a blood bat floated over and pulled Skyes window open for me letting the fresh morning air into the room.

“Thanks,” I said before taking a running start and flinging myself over Skyes bed and out a second story window.

With a loud crash I found myself laying ontop of multiple thorny bushes, the branches digging into my body as I tried to adjust to the aching in my back.

“Perfect landing” I groaned as I got ready to sit up.

“Oh yes, great job” a woman's voice said, “now please get off my plants.”

I turned my head to see two women standing over me. 

The one on the left, who was giving a very annoyed glare, looked like a lighter skinned Skye with bright yellow eyes and had her golden blonde hair tied up into a long ponytail. As was usual for her at this time of the morning, her red tank top and tanned shorts were covered in dirt and mud and black gardening gloves adorned her hands.

The one on the right was dressed up in a white toga like dress with summer lilies braided into her dark hair and she wore a diamond encrusted gold necklace around her throat. Also, her dark green colored eyes had the look of someone who had just watched her son throw himself from a second story window and land on the bushes she had helped her friend plant.

“Morning” I happily said to them before Skyes mom flicked her wrist and the bush, in response to said wrist flicking, jumped up a little and shoved me off of it before settling back into the soil.

“You’re in a chipper mood today” mom said as she helped pull me off the ground.”

“Oh who wouldn’t be when their job entails possible death and dismemberment?”

“Him and the girls practically stayed up the entire night” Skyes mom informed mine, “I swear that Clairabell screams louder than a banshee.”

Moms eyes grew wide as she gave me a once over before looking back at Skyes mom.

“They were playing video games” she assured, having finally realised what she had said.

“Oh thank the gods” my mom said, letting out a sigh of relief.

“In all fairness, Clairabell and I can multitask” I happily informed both of them.

“Alexander, shut up, you are 18, I do not need grandchildren from you yet!”

I laughed at my mom's discomfort, before noticing that a little girl with red hair had wandered up next to her. She was dressed similarly to mom but her dress was a light blue color and the only gold she had on was a pair of golden sandals and a few ringlets on her wrist.

“There’s my girl” our mom happily said, kneeling down to greet my sister, “all ready to go Fiona?”

With half awake eyes Fiona nodded with assurance, doing her best to stay awake. She promptly fell forward having to be caught by our mom.

“Oh sweetheart” mom said, giving Fiona a worried look, “maybe you should stay here.”

“No thank you.”

“She can stay here for the day” Skyes mom stated, “she can take a nap in Luke and Ninas room.”

“That should be fine” mom happily answered before turning back to the little red head, “how about playing with Luke and Nina today?”

“I will later” Fiona stubbornly stated, “I wanna go.”

“Fiona, you can’t be falling asleep though.”

“I won’t, I promise!”

“Honestly” I interjected, “she should be fine coming along. Unless she’s sick or something.”

Lifting her up  by her armpits I held my little sister up in the air.

“You ain’t getting sick on me are ya?”

“No,” Fiona said with a smile.

“Ain’t gonna throw up?”

With this question I tossed the seven year old up into the air, making her laugh like, well like a seven year old.

“Yeah she’s good” I assured our mother, as I still held Fiona.

“ . . .Is Skye ever this stubborn” my mom asked Skyes mom?

“I’m glad she’s not,” she answered, putting her gardening tools away, “makes it easier when I tell her to get rid of things like that.”

She pointed to the pegasus made of water which Skye had created last night in the arcade bathroom.

Like a good healthy horsey, Raindrop had grown in size and was now bigger than your average horse.  

“What” I protested, “you can’t have her get rid of Raindrop! It’s a sweet fragile creature who just wants your love, and understanding, and it just ate a squirrel.”

The clear blue pegasus glared at us as a fluffy brown tail hung from its mouth. 

It slowly backed away out of sight, never breaking eye contact with me specifically. Guess I have a new friend.

“See you later Trinna” mom said, taking Fiona from me and protectively holding her.

And with that, Skyes mom went over to put her tools away and mine started hurrying us over to our house.

“Do you two have everything,” mom asked as she pulled her keys out from her dress pocket.

“Yep” Fiona and I assured her at the same time.

She gives us a smile and a nod before turning to the door into our home and sliding a small golden key inside of the lock.

With a twist of the knob our front door opened up to a brightly lit bridge filled with people, either walking or riding in horse drawn carriages, dressed similarly to mom and Fiona. Far into the distance, at the end of the bridge, was a city built on top of several mountains, the rising sun illuminating the white marble buildings against a still mostly dark sky.

“Woow” I cheered, stretching my arms over my head, “fun trip, honestly the ride up is always the best part.”

“Alex” mom said, closing the door behind us, “what did I say about being a smartass?”

“Go ahead but don’t do it when we’re about to see family.”

“Exactly, and what are we about to do?”

“Visit people you hate?”

Mom lowered her eyes at me, giving me an irritated look.

“I’ll be good in front of grandma” I promised, crossing my fingers behind my back.

With a sigh, my mom locked the door we went through, causing it to sink into the ground and vanish.

“You ain't slick boy.”

I shrugged, perfectly content with my underwhelming slickness, before placing my fingers in my mouth.

Blowing into them, a loud whistle echoed out and the ground beneath us began to shake as a large hole filled with black mud spilled open. Never mind the fact that we were currently on a bridge thousands of miles in the air so a hole like that should just lead down into, well, death.

Speaking of death.

From the black mud, bone white hands started to rise from its murky depths, and latched onto the marble pavement of the bridge. Slowly, four skeletons pulled themselves out, black mud dripping down their skulls and off the dusty dark blue suits they all wore.

Each one had “eyes” of green fire and looked almost identical to each other, with the only difference being a colored rose each wore in the pocket of their suit. Red, yellow, black, and white.

These were my skeletons. Expertly trained, well mannered, professional, cold blooded, and above all else dependable. . . was not what they were.

As the yellow rose stumbled out behind white rose it fell forward, knocking into the latter.

Naturally, White rose raised it’s boney hand and slapped yellow in the face, the rattling of their teeth being loud enough for everyone to hear.

Steadying its skull, yellow turned to white, their flaming eyes lighting up with a dark green as they clutched their coworkers arm and tore it off.

White looked down at its empty sleeve hanging limply to its side while yellow pointed at them with their missing arm, the bouncing flames in its eye sockets indicating that they were laughing.

The flames in whites skull promptly erupted, smoke billowing out of them, as they tackled yellow to the ground.

Smoke and dust covered the ground as white and yellow punched and tore at each other, the latter using the former's arm to slap them in the face. Black rose stumbled forward, attempting to separate them only to be met with a flame shooting up and catching onto their new tie which instantly lit up and was reduced to ash.

Enraged at this insult to not only themselves but also high fashion Black leaped onto the two other skeletons. Red followed suit by elbow dropping all three and joining the pile as they all slapped, bit, hit, and spanked each other.

“. . . Alex, seriously” mom stated, “are you sure you don’t want new servants?”

“Naw” I answered, happily watching these boneheads wrestle, “these guys are perfect.”

Clapping my hands the hole began to bubble again, the bridge shaking even more, as a horse drawn carriage shot out of it like a bullet from the chamber and tore through the four skeletons who all fell to the ground in pieces.

The Carriage was a dark black color, large and round in shape, it looked like something a goth Cinderella would ride inorder to get to the ball and marry a guy she danced with once who only remembered her because he had a thing for feet. There was a bright gold trim on the sides that glowed brightly against the night sky. The wheels were also a gold color with human skulls adorned on the rims and green flames sparking up here and there.

 Attached to the carriage was a horse with pitch black fur with a tail and main glowing with bright green fire. It's onix black eyes surveyed its surroundings making sure there was no enemy nearby as it stomped the marble ground with its strong hooves, small flames lighting up under them as it did so.

“Horsey” Fiona yelled happily as she waved at my helpful stead.

“Hey there Mare,” I said, walking up to her, “how are you doing girl?”

As I reached out to give her a pet on the neck, Mare angrily recoiled and gave me a loud snort. 

“What? No, I didn’t forget about you.”

She neyad loudly, shaking her head from side to side.

“Of course I call you when I need a ride. You’re my horse.”

Stamping the ground, Mare continued to argue, angrily naying and shaking her main.

“Oh that is not fair! It is not my fault that you decided to wreck the neighbors lawn and eat their cat!”

She chattered her teeth and huffed again.

“Look if we had a stable I would absolutely keep you in the backyard but-.”

Mare interjected with a loud inhuman yell as she reared up on her hind legs.

“Oh you don’t bring my bike into this! He is a good boy!”

She landed and shook her head violently.

“Yes it’s a he!”

“Alex” mom said, the now reformed skeletons helping her and Fiona into the carriage, “I know you want her to stay at the house, but it’s not happening. Can we please go?”

“Yeah sure” I answered her.

As she entered the carriage I reached into my little pocket space and pulled out a nice orange carrot for Mare.

“Sorry girl, we’ll convince her somehow.”

She neighed understandingly before happily taking the root vegetable from my hands.

“To the stadium” I yelled at Red as he readied the reins, yellow sitting next to him with treats and a whip in hand. Black and White clung to the back, White still glaring at Yellow with murderous intent, as I swung myself into the inside of it.

As soon as the door was shut we were off, Yellow cracking their whip in the air as Red made sure Mare stayed on course. 

Unlike the black of the carriages outer shell, the seating was a velvet red with enough room to fit six people. The soft upholstery was comfortable and warm to the touch with cushions that made sure you could relax even during the bumpiest of rides.

Naturally, Fiona almost immediately fell asleep, her head resting comfortably on moms lap.

“Hey, she stayed awake longer than usual.”

“Honestly I’m surprised by that” mom said, brushing Fionas hair to the side, “she never gets enough sleep when we have to come up here. I wish she’d stay at home some times, it’s not healthy for a little girl to be up this early.”

“You know that would just cause gran to start whining.”

“If your grandmother really wants to see her she can suck it up and come visit the house.”

“Oh come now, you don’t expect her to live the disgraceful life of staying in a five bedroom, three bath, basement and attic house do you?”

“Well, in all fairness, she’d probably make the neighbors hate us more than they already do.”

We both chuckled a little at Grandmas expense, knowing she probably wouldn’t enjoy hearing this stuff in person. She can be kind of sensitive and natural disaster causing.

Leaning against the door I rested my head on  the window and watched as we rolled past the people walking along the bridge, none of them batting an eye at the carriage driven by four skeletons and drawn by a hell horse. In all fairness compared to the massive skyscrapers in the mountain, the rulers of the city control nature itself, and the fact we can all  breathe despite the altitude, probably making our little vihicall about as interesting as an ant carrying food ten times its size. A neat site but nothing mind blowing.

Granted, ants are pretty mind blowing if you put into perspective how they basically work to create a suitable environment for their colony with everyone having their assigned roles thus allowing them to work as fulfilling members of ant society. 

That being said, this type of government is very totalitarian all things considered so there must be a widespread outbreak of ant uprisings which most likely are quilled by the ants in black suits. You can say they’re not real, but we all know they’re out there.

“So” mom said, interrupting my deep and meaningful inner monologue about ants and ant related conspiracy, “should we talk about what’s been bothering you?”

I sighed and sat up in my seat.

“Oh you know, normal stuff.”

“Define normal for you?”

“Giant monsters, universal travel, blood sucking girlfriend who wants my socially awkward best friend to move into a dorm with her while she’s too scared to say no, oh and a new rpg came out that I am just dying to play.”

“Aw, is my little boy having girl trouble?”

“What can I say, I’m just a modern day Casanova. On a related note, my Italian is getting better.”

Mom rolled her eyes, a smile still on her face as she let out a chuckle.

“Well Giacomo, care to tell your loving mother about your, um, socially awkward blood sucking best girlfriend issue?”

“Blood sucking girlfriend and socially awkward best friend” I corrected, “also, one can summon horses.”

She blinked a bit then sighed.

“I really should have set you up on more play dates with normal kids when you were little.”

“Aw, but if you did that you wouldn’t have met Skyes mom.”

“I don’t mind Skye, reminds me of your dad, kind of. The blood sucking girlfriend is the one I have issues with.”

“Oh Clair isn’t that bad. Plus, if I remember right, you’re partially the one who arranged for me and her dating.”

Mom shrugged at my statement.

“It was either that or have her daddy demand your head on a spike. Now, talk.”

“Dang, knew you weren’t gonna let the issue go.”

I rubbed my neck, feeling a little awkward talking about my friends with my mom. She had more on her plate to deal with other than my personal drama. But, I guess I don’t feel that bad.

“Clairabell has been looking into her and Skye going to college together, and I’m pretty sure Skye doesn’t want to go. But, neither of them are talking about it so, yeah, not really sure what to do.”

Yep, even to me that sounds like a dumb problem that could be easily solved if we all just sat and talked it out. And, based on the look mom was giving me, she probably felt the same.

“Ok” she eventually said, “and in what way is that your problem?”

“Huh?”

“Alex, that has nothing to do with you. They’re both big girls, they can work out their problems.”

I blinked in surprise.

“Well, I mean, they’re my friends, so. . .”

“So what?”

“So, I want to help them.”

She shook her head disapprovingly at my response, her dark brown hair bouncing a little as she did.

“Alexander, I get that you love them, but their problems are not yours to solve, so you don’t need to worry about it.”

“I, I guess. But-”

“No buts.”

She narrowed her eyes a little, making it clear that this wasn’t a subject we were going to argue on.

“You have work, and your sister, and your own issues to deal with.”

I felt my stomach slowly drop more and more as she spoke and reminded me of how stupid my worries were.

She was right after all, Skye not telling Clairabell how she felt, and Clairabell not wanting to listen, those were not my problems.

But, still. . .

I went back to looking out the chariot window, watching as the pavement of the bridge slid by as we drove in silence.

Well, we did for a few minutes, then I felt mom poke me repeatedly on the cheek.

“Oi” she said with each poke, “oi, oi, oi!”

I smiled and looked up, finding my mom leaning forward with a bag of gold coins dangling from her fingertips.

She gave me a warm smile and dropped the coins into my lap.

“Quit pouting, you’re gonna make me feel like a bad mom.”

“Aw, you’re not a bad mom” I responded, opening the bag and eyeing the coin, “I’m just really good at making people feel guilty. This is chocolate isn’t it?”

“Boy, you get paid a fortune a year, you don’t need real gold.”

“I ain’t complaining.”

I smiled and started unwrapping a coin to enjoy the snack, before handing a few back to mom.

“Here” I said, dropping them into her hand, “Fiona loves these too.”

“Yeah, that’s why I got her her own bag. These are yours.”

“Then I guess we’ll call it an offering to a good mom.”

She let out an amused laugh.

“Gods, why is my youngest son so cheesy?”

“No idea” I told her, chomping down on the delectable coin, “I personally blame it on Television and video games for giving good moral lessons.”

She sighed, but still smiled.

“You are such a dork.

Mom went back to watching Fiona sleep and we rode into the city in silence for a bit.

“Honestly” she eventually said, “I’m glad you’re such a good kid, but it wouldn’t hurt you to worry about yourself more.”

“Yeah” I responded, understanding what she meant, if only a little bit.

I pulled out another chocolate coin and sat it in between my cupped pointer finger and thumb before flicking my thumb up and giving the coin a good flip and catching it in my palm.

“Hey, maybe I should act like the old man more?”

I gave mom a wide smile at this statement and she responded by rolling her eyes.

“Alex” she said, “if you start acting like the old man just remember that I dictate your living arrangements.”

“Aw” I teased, trying to lighten the tension, “not a fan of selfish people?”

“Being selfish is fine. He’s just a disrespectful asshole. Never cared for those.”

“If that were true you would have thrown me out years ago.”

“You’re just disrespectful. The assholeness is currently being debated.”

“Aw, that’s the nicest compliment I’ve ever gotten.”

“Oh shut up Alex.”

Despite her words she had a smile on her face.

Eventually, we pulled into the city.

The street lights illuminated our way as we walked through the busy streets filled with people of all races and sizes and other worldly species in togas. Despite how early it was the city was still bustling and busy as if it were early afternoon.

Shops filled with exautic items lined the streets next to fancy restaurants and stores filled with fancy clothes that normal people could never hope to own. As we went deeper in, the clothing people wore became more elaborate and extravagant almost as if they were trying to make themselves match the streets paved with literal gold.

“Did dad say they could use his gold?”

“No and I am still trying to get them to give it back. Honestly, their taste is just tacky.”

“I feel I need to point out that we decorate our house with bones and diamonds.”

“Alex, that is a theme. It might be tacky, but it makes sense. This is just a bunch of people showing off how rich they are. Besides, Pluton is in charge of decorating.”

“Way to blame your son for the way the house looks Ma.”

“I blame all my children for everything. Didn’t you figure that out already?”

“I was in denial.”

We joked around a little more as we eventually rode deeper into the city.

It was a nice summer morning even here, with birds of all kinds singing joyful tunes and plants you wouldn’t normally see together decorating the parks and sidewalks.

Mount Olympus, the rich neighborhood to end all rich neighborhoods. 

While we continued our stroll, I was content to rest against the side of the cart, daydreaming until we arrived at grandmas. At least, until, the chariot pulled to a sudden stop with a jerky motion and Mare let out a loud whine.

“Oi” Mom yelled, slapping the roof, “why’d we stop?”

In response Red poked his head in, by holding it in his hand and putting it through the open window.

His teeth chattered and he let out a gargling hiss to inform us of why we had stopped.

Mom sighed and slouched in her seat, Fiona still in her lap.

“Then just kill them.”

“Mom, no.”

“Alex, they started it.”

“Yeah but we can’t just murder all of our problems.”

“You sure” she said, hopefully jokingly, “the old man seems to solve a lot of his problems that way. Of course, it does make your fathers work stack up so I’m a little pissed about that.”

“How about I go deal with them?” I said, opening the door, “give daddy less paperwork?”

“Carefull, they might cause you to develop some humility.”

“No worries about that happening. I’ll be done in like, I don’t know, two, three minutes. Meet you at grandmas. Oh, I missed the step. . .”

She groaned with annoyance as her handsome, awesome, super smart son fell out of the carriage and onto the dirt of Olympus.

“Way to jump to the rescue there superman” she chimed.

I chuckled a little as I layed on the ground, before turning my head to the right and spotting the roadblocks that stood in Mares way.

“Hi” I happily said to the tall man wearing a dark blue tank top. He had a rather annoyed look on his soft face, with his ocean green eyes glaring at me and his large, muscular, arms crossed over his chest.

His dark blue hair was slicked back and had a slight gleam to it while a few scales decorated his broad shoulders and a gold belt encrusted with gems of all shapes and sizes held his gray and white camouflage pants up.

By his side were two rather younger men who looked to be either twins or clones of each other. My personal experience has told me to bet on the latter, but you can never be too sure.

They both wore back basketball shorts and red shirts to go along with their messy strawberry blonde hair. Only way to tell that they weren’t completely identical were their eyes; both of which glowed unatrually like the brights of a car, but while the one on the left had shining baby blues, the gent on the left glared at me with dark red irises. Not blood red, more like a wine red.

Just like with the big bad in the middle, I noticed a few fish-like scales running along their necks and half way down their arms. 

“Yo” the blue hair in the middle yelled at me, “are you going to get off the ground or what?”

“Naw” I responded, still sprawled on the ground, “the road feels good on my back.”

“Get off the ground Alex” Mom demanded from the carriage.

“So what can I do for you?” I asked while standing up, “directions, a ride maybe?”

“All we require is your head on a spike” the blue haired one responded. He took a boxer's pose and silver metal slowly started molding around his hands, appearing from nowhere I could see, until he was wearing two silver gauntlets with spiked knuckles.

“Sorry, can’t exactly do that seeing how I currently need my head. Mind me asking why you would want it though mate?”

“Hey” red eyes shouted, “he ain’t your mate guy!”

“Well then I ain’t your guy friend!”

“He ain’t your friend buddy,” the blue eyed one shouted at me.

“Well then I’m not his buddy mate!”

“He’s not your mate guy!”

“Then I’m not his guy friend!”

“I’m leaving now” mom stated, closing the carriage door, “meet us at grandmas okay?”

“Ok mom” I responded, waving them off.

“I’m not your mom dude” Blue eyes shouted.

“He’s not your dude pal” Red eyes shouted back.

“Seth, Joey” blue hair said, his head in his hand, “please stop.”

The three stepped out of the way, blue hair forcing Seth and Joey to bow their heads as mom passed in the sable steed drawn carriage before they took their spots in front of me again.

“Now, draw your weapon!”

Blue hair took his stance once more, their eyes narrowed at me.

“. . .Why?”

“Be-because I’m challenging you.”

“Ok but why are you challenging me?”

“Because!”

“Because why?”

“Because, shut up, draw your blade!”

“Blade as in vampire character?”

“Vampire? Your sword!”

“But I don’t use a sword.”

“Then your spear!”

“I don’t wanna draw my spear, honestly, I’m not the best artest.”

Blue hair looked ready to leap at me and scream at the top of their lungs while strangling my handsome neck.

I’m having a lot of fun.

He takes a deep breath and slowly calms down.

“Okay” they said, “please, please, get any weapons you might own, hold it in your hands, and fight me with them.”

“Ohhh! Ok, why didn’t you just say so?”

I could literally hear the last straw on blue hairs, patients breaking as they once more took a boxers pose, their eyes narrowed at me.

“My name is Markis, Muto, Reads, son of Poesidon and Pirate queen of the Caribbean Martha Reads!”

Yep, saw that one coming.

Guess good ol uncky Poesidon is still upset that I stabbed him in the face for unspecified reasons oh so long ago (last Tuesday).

“Alright Mark ma boy” I told him holding my arms up to the sky, “guess we can have a quick play date.”

Slowly, a leather strap materialized on my right arm and a thunderous roar echoed out as dark clouds gathered above us. 

Splitting through the black clouds a golden shield slammed into my arm and attached to the leather strap with a click.

I felt electricity flow out of my body and into the metal of my golden shield that was the size of my body, the aegis.

“My name’s Zee” I told Mark, adjusting aegis to be in front of me, “bastard of Zeus, and. . .”

I held my other hand towards the ground, palm opened, feeling the dirt beneath give way.

In a flash a black and gold two pronged spear emerged and pushed against my palm as I wrapped my fingers around it.

Casually, I pointed my bident at Mark to show him I was ready.

“Son of Hades.”

[sparkiekong]

Meeting Dr. Fitz

She went to the counter to sign in; looking around she was thankful that no one else was in the room except the pretty receptionist; Bless her for being quiet. She hated the awkward talking that people felt that they had to do in places like this. Cat found it weird how many people felt like they needed to explain why they or their children are sitting in a therapist office. As if it were a bad thing to get help.

Cat thought that maybe she just didn’t understand how other humans worked; it really wasn’t anyone’s business other than the patient and the doctor, right?  

Her thoughts interrupted by the doctor who came down to greet her with a handshake and a good smile. Cat liked how he smiled; it was a warm smile and his demeanor felt different from everyone else.

“Ms. Brand? Hello there, I’m Doctor Fitz! I hope my sweet little wifey didn’t talk your ear off.” He chuckled when he heard her harrumph.

“Hello, and it’s Cat. I hate titles, they’re too formal.” She instantly felt awkward; Great job Cat… your mother taught you better.

He nodded, “That’s fine Cat, let’s go upstairs and you can tell me what brings you to my office today.”

“My wife thinks you can help me.” Again, with the bluntness Cat… jeez… but he picked up on the unspoken part; He was intuitive.

“Why do you think I am not able to help you?” He led her to the couch and sat down with his pad of paper in the chair next to it. “You can sit or lie down. Whatever makes you comfortable.”

Feeling a bit defensive she asks, “Do you believe in something Dr. Fitz?”

“I think there must be more to the world than just this, but I have not ascribed to one particular religion. I see some similarities and some valid differences. I choose my own walk, because if the Bible or any other religious text is to be believed… I shouldn’t let anyone decide for me how I should believe.”

Fair enough; Maybe he’ll believe me. She thought.

“You believe in higher powers? Gods, Angels, Demons?” She asked quietly.

“I can’t say,” he paused, “but many find strength and courage in faith.” He replied.

A doctor’s answer and a cop out, she thought.

“I’m asking you, personally. Do you believe in them? Are they real to you?” She was a bit stern.

“I’ve never met one personally, but just because I’ve not met them doesn’t mean they don’t exist for believers.”

She sighed; yet another “doctor” answer.

Cat chose to lie down; she hadn’t slept well in many days so any chance to lie down was a precious moment. “You won’t believe me. I’ve seen the truth of existence, the story of how we all came to be and why we’re all here and it’s not the shiny happy apocalypse four horseman while the good ones go to a perfect pearly gated home in the sky.” Keeping it crazy, good job Cat! She sighed.

“Wow, you’ve learned the secret of existence. That must be very troubling to learn a truth of that magnitude. Could you tell me how this all started?” He seemed undaunted by her story; instead, he scribbled some words on a pad. Likely, clinical categorizations but she didn’t care. She had finally reached her limit of the psychological field. If this led to her incarceration in an asylum somewhere with medicines being hidden in the pudding to keep her docile and drooling in the corner, then so be it.

Looking around the room she noticed his office had a distinct lack of religious iconography. She wondered if he tailored his office to suit his client’s religious beliefs.

“What if I told you that someone else had the reigns, but it’s not God in the sense that everyone knows him. It’s hard to explain. How about we just call this being Jack. Let’s say that Jack’s given me all the answers to the universe and existence. I know how we came to be and why. I know that everything that people perceive is wrong.” She waited to see what he’d say.

“Jack? Really? That’s an interesting name for a God-like being whose shown you the answers to the universe.” He was half-chuckling.

“You know, once I’m done with just the start of this, you’ll ask me to commit myself. I’ll decline and then Kali will insist, and I’ll have given in because I love her. Then I’ll be stuck in there for however long it takes me to pretend that I’m ‘normal’ and that I haven’t seen the answers to the universe… then they’ll let me out again. Do you think I haven’t gone through this same thing with previous doctors? Dr. Fitz you’d be very wrong. I know the proverbial ‘sheep answers’ that your kind expect of me.”  She was annoyed and tired.

His face turned to that blank doctor face, “You’ve got this all figured out it seems. Tell me, what did Jack show you and how did it come to you?”

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Thanks to helenofsimblr for poses