#when you never actually resolve any issues both personal or together

[regular-lord-reckoner]

today's definitely one of those days where's it's like 'haha my mental health would benefit tremendously if i could move out!' but like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[halfvalid]

Hey! I was wondering if you could do a live action Zoro smut where it's enemies to lovers (boy X girl). I don't mind how hardcore smut (18+?) but I would love if there was some tension (argument or fight!) 😁

speak teeth

ABOUT

| 18+ | smut | explicit |

alternate title: i need the lord

rating: explicit

characters: live action!roronoa zoro | fem!reader

pairing: live action!roronoa zoro x fem!reader

word count: 4.9k

description: you and zoro have never gotten along. after a incident in town escaping from marines, you resolve to sort out your issues with unconventional means. (aka sex.)

tags: strawhat!reader, female reader, enemies to lovers, except it's more like frenemies to frenemies with benefits, kissing, kiss to distract trope, no use of “y/n”, reader calls zoro "roronoa", penis in vagina sex, creampie, pwp, cowgirl position

author’s note: thanks for the request! i kind of lost the plot on this one because i'm terrible at writing enemies-to-lovers and there's not much 'lovers' involved in this since i couldn't exactly fit that into a oneshot. hopefully you still like it anyway? i tried my best.

tags make it seem so much worse than it actually is.

Roronoa Zoro did not like you. 

The feeling was mutual, so you didn’t mind the fact, really. Zoro was annoying, with his three swords, and that stupid low voice, and how he never seemed interested in conversation unless it was either about alcohol or beating someone up. You were undoubtedly annoying to him for various reasons not so different in number to your own grievances of his personality. You two didn’t like each other. It was fine. It was normal. 

It was pissing off the rest of the Straw Hat crew. 

In your defense, you were never outwardly aggressive towards the man. You didn’t purposely exclude him from conversations or avoid looking at him if he dared haunt a room you were in with his presence. You just… didn’t speak to him unless spoken to. And maybe you had a tendency to roll your eyes or mutter some insults when he was talking, but it wasn’t that big of an issue. 

Zoro, on the other hand, was a master of discord. He’d killed and hunted so many people it only made sense for him to be, but it seemed he hadn’t skipped his lessons in petty fights either. Because he was bullheaded and a buzzkill and always opened his big mouth when you were around. Those sarcastic remarks of his were common, sure, but when you were in the room they were tenfold and laced with genuine venom. 

You weren’t sure who’d even started the strife between you two. It had been so long that you’d forgotten. While everyone else had seemingly bonded after your journey together, you and Zoro remained firmly in the stage you’d been while trapped in Buggy’s green room—antagonistic. Obviously you didn’t hate each other—when Zoro had nearly died to Mihawk, you hadn’t been happy—but you didn’t get along, and both of you were just fine with that arrangement. 

Nobody else was, though.

And so obviously you didn’t like it when Luffy announced, as you were docked, that you were assigned to scout the surrounding village together. Your lips twisted, but you refrained from saying anything up until Luffy finished his speech with: “And that’s the plan! Any objections?” 

There were head shakes from all around the deck of the Going Merry. You eyed Zoro in the very corner—his arms were crossed, and carefully he raised a hand, just barely lifting it into the air as he motioned. “Why is she coming with me?” 

You bit your tongue, suppressing the irritated sigh that threatened to escape. “Because,” Luffy said, bright as ever, “You two need to learn how to be friends. Think of it as a bonding activity!” 

“I’d really rather go with Sanji,” you optioned, trying to be more civil than Zoro at least. “He could use a hand carrying the stock barrels.” 

“Nope,” Luffy chirped. “It makes most sense for the two of you to be the one to buy the weapons, anyway.” 

“He’s right. You both are the most knowledgeable on the subject,” Nami whispered, though she gave you an apologetic look. You sighed. Zoro opted to say nothing. 

“Fine. Let’s go, Roronoa,” you said, getting up off the Going Merry’s railing to start walking off the ship. You heard Zoro grumble from behind you, but he soon caught up. You said absolutely nothing to each other for the first few minutes of walking, keeping to yourselves until you eventually reached the market. 

“What kind of weapons are we looking for?” you asked, glancing over your shoulder at the man who trailed just barely behind you. “I know Luffy wants backups, but did he say specifically what?” 

“Probably a few guns, maybe some swords,” Zoro replied. “A katana for me. Extra staff for Nami, in case hers breaks.” 

“Right. Nami gave me five-hundred thousand berry. Let’s spend it wisely. No pit stops.” 

Zoro gave you a look. “It’s not like I’m going to slip into the nearest tavern and abandon you. Luffy said we go together, so we go together.” 

“Right.” You turned away so you could roll your eyes in private. You had to appreciate that, at least; Zoro’s loyalty to Luffy at least meant he wouldn’t be a bitch to you if Luffy told him not to, and Nami kept you more or less under wraps too. “Pistols first. Let’s just get two, and save the rest for a sword because those are more pricey.” 

Focusing on business was fine. You could be a responsible adult and not be petty. And it really did go okay for the first half-hour, wherein you bartered one of the weapons sellers down to a reasonable price for two pistols and also picked up a bo staff on the way.

You were just heading towards another district of the town when Zoro slowed to a stop. You glanced over to see what he was looking at—a wall pasted with bounty posters, various pirates plastered on paper with big numbers shouting out their worth. 

“Look, it’s Luffy,” you said, eyes catching a bundle of posters near the top. Sure enough, all six members of the Straw Hat crew were there. You noticed with distaste that Zoro’s bounty was higher than yours.

Zoro tore all of the posters off, and you were almost surprised when he took yours off too. He crumpled them up into balls, about to toss them behind his shoulder before you grabbed them, carefully tucking them away in your bag. “What’s that for?” he asked. 

“So I can shoot darts at your face,” you replied. “Come on. Should finish and get back to the ship before anyone recognizes us.” 

Zoro shrugged, but followed you as you led him to the closest armory you could find. The shop was small and rickety, and a silver bell announced your presence as you entered the building. There were blades of every kind in the shop; you could see a table of knives and daggers, along with a stand full of long swords by the front. Near the back, you glimpsed some hanging rapiers, and—

“Katanas,” Zoro muttered, pushing past you to slip to the back of the store. You sighed, but followed, glancing over the array of jians instead. Zoro was already picking one up and pulling it out of its sheath, checking the quality of the blade. 

“Don’t—” you hissed, and he glanced up at you, brow raised in question as he spun the blade around in his hand. “You’re going to knock something over.” 

Zoro sheathed the sword, a satisfying click filling the room with the motion. “Calm down.” 

“I am calm,” you snapped. “If you’d just stop stomping around with those big boots of yours, though—” 

Zoro looked far less affected by the entire ordeal than you did, and that pissed you off even more. Logically, you knew he didn’t show much emotion in general, and even his annoyances tended to be deep and quiet—but still. He strung the katana back up where it belonged. “I am not stomping.” 

“Yes, you are—” You cut yourself off as the bell of the store rang again, announcing the arrival of more patrons. These two were whispering to each other, gruff voices that sounded almost scared. “He came in here, right?” One of them asked the other. “Are you sure it’s him?” 

“He tore down his own wanted poster!” The other hissed back. 

You caught onto what was happening quickly, letting a sigh out from between your teeth and grabbing onto Zoro’s arm to yank him further back into the store. You turned a corner, where a narrow hall cut off at a dead end, a wardrobe of swords blocking off the area to any prying eyes. “Now look at what you did,” you grumbled, before you could stop yourself. “You’ve got fucking bounty hunters after us.” You glanced through the stands of swords for a double take—the pair were standing at the front, outfitted in familiar white-and-blue uniforms. “Scratch that, even worse. Marines.” 

“I can take them in a fight,” Zoro muttered, hand going to his swords. You grabbed his wrist and gave him a look. 

“No. We’re not due to leave the docks for another two days,” you snapped. “Can you figure out a way to get out of a situation without stabbing someone?” 

“How can you be sure it was him, though? The Demon?” The more timid marine asked. They’d started moving, and you shoved Zoro into the corner, attempting to hide his ridiculously broad figure with an armoire of weapons. He scoffed, but made no move to adjust, back flat against the wall.

“He had the three swords. And the three earrings, too. Of course it was him,” the other one replied. You rolled your eyes. 

“Ever try being a little less obvious, Roronoa?” you muttered, shooting another glare in Zoro’s direction. “You’re like a flashing red light for every marine within a two-mile radius with your stupid swords. I’m Roronoa Zoro, the pirate hunter!” 

“I don’t hear you yelling at Luffy to take his hat off,” Zoro hissed back. 

“They’re coming this way,” you answered, entirely ignoring his retort. “Hide your stupid swords. Shove them behind a stand or something.” 

“I don’t see why we can’t just—” 

“No fighting.” You swiveled around, tugging his holsters off his belt and tossing the swords behind him with a graceless clatter. Zoro just sighed. “Shit,” you muttered as the marines turned at the noise, starting to move towards the back of the store.

“Now look at what you did,” Zoro mumbled, mocking your words straight back at you. You glared at him. 

“Shut up and stay put,” you snapped. “Let me think of something.” The marines were coming closer, and you huffed out a nervous breath. Zoro watched you from his position. 

“They know your face, too,” he said carefully. Almost derisively, like he was looking down on your idea; making you seem stupid. “Just let me fight them. It makes the most sense.” The footsteps grew louder, then, the marines moving towards the back of the store. 

“I think I heard voices,” one of them muttered to the other. You shushed Zoro, unconsciously moving closer to him until your arm bumped into his. You startled, and then looked up, finding Zoro’s chest just inches away from your face. 

“Is this some new sort of hiding tactic?” Zoro asked, voice dry as a desert. “Are you trying to melt us into the wall—” 

The voices tapered off as the marines moved closer. Your hand shot up to cradle Zoro’s face, covering his dangling gold earrings with your fingers to hide them away. “Fuck this,” Zoro muttered, leaning back to pick up his swords. You shushed him, and he stopped, bent halfway over you so your faces were just inches apart. 

“Just trust me,” you snapped. Zoro opened his mouth to argue, but then the marines’ footsteps got louder—they’d turn the corner any moment now. 

“Fine,” he breathed. “But if it doesn’t work, I’m taking out my swords.” 

Your mind ran a million miles a minute trying to figure out what to do. The marines were just around the corner now, and your breath caught, eyes meeting Zoro’s as you wracked your brain for something, anything that might distract the marines away from the two of you. Zoro’s lips parted, a split-second away from undoubtedly whispering some grand insult when the marines finally turned the corner.

You were kissing Zoro before you could even think. 

“Oh,” one of the marines said, as your fingers nearly pinched Zoro’s earlobe, still covering his earrings. Zoro was frozen for a moment, but the marines behind you seemed startled enough that he realized it was working. A rush of satisfaction filled you for a moment—see, Roronoa, you don’t have to stab shit all the time—before Zoro was kissing you back.

And. Well. You’d started it, but you had not anticipated this. 

Zoro was almost rough, his hand curling around the nape of your neck and tugging you down closer to him. His other hand came to rest on your waist, so impossibly big around your torso that you shivered. What had started out as a simple kiss slipped into one all messy, your breaths coming out in sharp gasps as Zoro barely gave you a moment to breathe. 

His teeth dug into your lip, and you groaned into his mouth, tongue darting along his gums with the motion. He snickered at that, and you felt a little bundle of vexation starting at the pit of stomach at the sound. You ran your tongue into the crevices of his mouth, licking into him with ease. Another rush of satisfaction filled you as Zoro’s grip tightened on your waist. You were winning.

He fought back just as hard, practically merciless as his tongue slid against yours, prying into your mouth like he was trying to bare you empty of secrets. You felt stripped raw like this, but it wasn’t a terrible feeling—the opposite, actually, soft whimpers leaving your lungs as he dug more fiercely into you. Zoro sucked on your lower lip with teeth, and you barely managed to suppress the stuttered sound it tugged out from the back of your throat. 

There were hasty footsteps receding somewhere behind you, which was the only sound that snapped you out of your motions. You were the first to break away—another score gained there—glancing over your shoulder to ensure the marines had really left before fully detaching yourself from Zoro. The silver bell rung again, signaling the marines had made their exit, and you let out a relieved sigh. 

Zoro glanced over your shoulder, straightening his clothes as his tongue ran along his top teeth. The top teeth you’d had your tongue on just seconds ago. “If you wanted to kiss me, you could’ve just said so.” 

“I did not—” You sucked in a breath, all your general irritated feelings towards the man coming back at full force with just that one sentence. “Shut the fuck up. I got us out of the situation, didn’t I?” 

“You have questionable methods,” Zoro replied, leaning over to pick up his abandoned swords and strap them back along his hip. “Don’t think about that all night.” 

“You were not that good of a kisser,” you snapped, though you could feel your face getting hot. Your mouth tingled, like you could still taste him on your tongue; on your teeth; in your gums. There was a vaguely empty sensation at the curve of your waist you tried your best to ignore. “Don’t be so full of yourself. Roronoa. Now pick a sword to buy so we can leave already.”

Zoro seemed irritated, but he complied, brushing past you to inspect a few more of the swords before picking out one. You paid for it as quickly as possible, in a rush to get back to the ship; not even trying to talk the salesman down from his price like you usually would. 

Zoro followed you languidly, absolutely nothing urgent about his motions as you trailed after you back through the village. You wanted to uppercut him so badly. 

“Oh, there you guys are,” Usopp said upon stepping foot back onto the Going Merry. You shot him an apologetic smile before breezing past, beelining for your bedroom without a second thought. “Uh—okay! You good?” he called after you, but you were too far away to respond at this point. 

You slammed the door of your room shut upon entering, heaving out a breath of jumbled emotion all in one go. Fuck Roronoa Zoro and his three stupid swords and his three stupid earrings. He was the most lumbering, bullheaded oaf you’d ever had the displeasure of engaging with. 

He’d been a ridiculously good kisser. Now you hated him even more. 

You locked yourself in your room for the next four hours, busying yourself with various tasks whilst simultaneously seething over Zoro. It wasn’t even that he’d done anything specifically to you in the past. You just—didn’t get along, really. He was irritating, and stupid, and always tried to solve his problems with a blade rather than attempting to use his wits. Not that he had any wits of any kind. He was—

He was, as you were starting to find out, kind of attractive. Which. Okay. You’d known his face was at least easy on the eyes, despite his personality and general attitude not retaining the same qualities. But this was an entirely unappreciated development. 

Someone knocked on your door, snapping you out of your irritated haze. The sun had nearly set, a kiss of dusk coming in from outside as you shuffled over to the door. You yanked it open. “What—”

Zoro was standing in the doorway, arm propped against the side and keeping your door open even as you attempted to close it on him. “Roronoa.” 

“You’re hiding,” Zoro said, a tinge of mirth just barely visible in his eyes. You glared at him. 

“I am not.” 

“Do you have to disagree with everything I say?” Zoro asked. He was still wearing his swords even now, though he’d dressed down as the hour grew late. “You skipped dinner.” 

“Leave me alone,” you muttered. 

Zoro took that as an invitation to step fully into the room. “I told the rest of the crew about the marines,” he said, and you flinched. “Not about that. Just that we got away. Nami wants to leave tomorrow evening now, so we’ll be busy.” 

You stared at him, suspicious right from the start. “And you care enough to tell me? Did someone put you up to this?” 

Zoro stiffened. “I just thought you might want to know.” 

Your eyes narrowed. He looked as normal as ever—face blank, leaving no expression to be seen. But his muscles were tenser than usual, and the veins running up his arm were prominent, like his hand was tightened into a fist where it hid away in his pocket. “You have ulterior motives.”

“You’re so annoying,” Zoro muttered, but he didn’t budge. You scoffed. 

“What, are you here to admit that you were wrong and my plan really did get us away from the marines?” you asked, voice sugary sweet as you riled him up. His jaw clenched, a vein tracing up his neck bulging with the pressure. “You don’t need to inflate my ego—”

Zoro moved across the room swiftly, and you stumbled back in surprise as he pinned you to the wall, hand tight around your arm. Your words died in your throat as his lips sealed over yours with a bruising kiss. His fingers dug into the skin of your bicep—tight, but not tight enough to hurt. 

“I don’t need to inflate your ego,” Zoro snapped, finishing your sentence from where it’d died on your lips. “You do that enough yourself.” 

You stared at him, the tingle of his lips still left as an afterthought on your mouth. “If you’re going to make out with me, take your fucking swords off.” 

Zoro barely suppressed an eye roll, hands working at his belt to slide his holsters off from his hip. “What’s your problem with them?” 

“I think your emotional dependency on a bunch of oversized butter knifes—”

Zoro’s head jerked up, eyes dark when they met yours. “Don’t call them that.” 

You couldn’t resist the quip off your tongue. “You asked.” 

Zoro slowly made his way across the room again, steps careful and languid as he moved closer. “I take it back,” he said, voice a near whisper, every word crisp on his tongue. You shivered. 

This time, you expected it when he kissed you. He wasn’t careful with it, and you didn’t want it any other way—your arms wrapped around the back of his neck, tugging him down closer to you. It got aggressive quick, his fingers coming down to clutch your waist, one of your hands tight around the locks of his hair as you pried open his mouth with your tongue. 

Neither of you complied easily, both trying to get the better of the other. Zoro’s tongue forced itself into your mouth before you tugged on his lower lip with teeth. Both his hands came to wrap around your waist, now, hoisting you up and onto your hanging bed in the center of the room. His fingers dug in hard enough to leave bruises. 

Zoro abandoned your mouth in favor of your neck, biting open-mouthed kisses into your jawline before moving down your jugular. Each one was more hasty than the last, wet and warm with licks of tongue and scrapes of teeth. You didn’t bother moving to give him better access—he had to do that himself, a large hand coming to rest on the back of your skull and pulling your head back to bare the rest of your neck to him. You heard him mutter something in Japanese—probably some obscenity, which pleased you more than you’d like to admit. 

His kisses stopped at the hinge of your neck and shoulder, Zoro pausing to lean over and work his fingers up your spine. They danced over the clasp of your shirt, and you had to choke back a wry laugh, surprised. “I thought the Demon just took what he wanted,” you murmured. 

Zoro didn’t seem to like that. He started unfastening the buttons going down the back of your top. “At least I was polite enough to ask,” he muttered. 

“Just take my clothes off already,” you said, and he stopped his work, leaning back to glare into your eyes. You let out an annoyed sigh, and he rolled his eyes, going back to what he’d been doing. “Are we going to talk about it?” you asked, eyeing Zoro’s chest in front of you. 

You pressed a kiss to his neck, sucking at the skin before grazing it ever-so-slightly with your teeth. His throat hitched under your mouth. 

“Nope,” he grunted, finally unclasping the last button and pulling your top over your head. Since you didn’t have an issue with that arrangement, you didn’t say anything, even as Zoro practically shoved you flat on your back. 

“Rude,” you muttered. Zoro didn’t bother apologizing; he just leaned down to take your breast in his mouth, tongue circling around your nipple. You weren’t fast enough to suppress your gasp this time—a point in Zoro’s favor then, one you allowed with a bitter taste on your tongue. Zoro’s mouth formed a smile against your skin. You brought your knee up between his legs, shoving into his crotch in retaliation. 

“Stop,” Zoro hissed, the consonants of the words brushing across your skin when he spoke. You ignored him, and he let out a groan, hand clamping around your thigh to keep you from moving. “Do you have to be such a brat?” 

“I am not a brat.” You hooked your ankle around his, causing him to slip from where he lay suspended above you, mouths mashing in another too-aggressive facsimile of a kiss. “You’re just a gigantic manwhore with an overinflated ego.” 

“You did not just call me—” You shut him up with another kiss, teeth digging deep into the inner gums of his lip. You ran your hands up the sides of Zoro’s figure, trying your hardest to ignore the stiff muscles of his ribcage. He wasn’t that well-built. He wasn’t even that attractive, you tried to convince yourself. Still, you found the buttons of his shirt, trying to unfasten them quicker than Zoro had with yours. 

One of them caught, and Zoro had the audacity to laugh. You grumbled something incoherent under your breath, tugging his shirt off all the way and tossing it somewhere behind you. “Shut up.” 

“You’ve been the one complaining this entire time,” Zoro replied easily. He leaned down, tugging at your trousers to pull them off, pressing sloppy kisses down your torso now. You resisted the urge to say something in response, knowing it would just give him the satisfaction of being right. Were your points tied now? You couldn’t remember. 

Zoro had pulled your pants down to your knees by now, and you kicked them off all the way, watching as he pushed them off the bed and leaned down to work at the inward slope of your hip. You shivered, legs trembling as you felt your core grow tight, the cloth of your underwear already wet with anticipation. Seeing the ever-steadying tent in Zoro’s pants made you feel just a little bit better, and you were nice enough to let a stuttering moan out as his tongue licked down to the band of your panties. 

He pulled your underwear all the way off, then, but to your distaste completely ignored your fully exposed core to unbutton his own pants instead. “I hate you,” you muttered. 

Zoro stopped in the middle of what he was doing, pants halfway down his thighs and length already out. “Oh, I’m sorry,” he said, voice careful—you could still hear the mocking tone beyond the coolness of his voice, though, and your jaw clenched in irritation. “Did you want something?” 

“Yeah, for you to shut the fuck up.” You pushed yourself up by the elbows, grabbing one of Zoro’s arms and yanking him down onto the mattress. You used both hands to strip him of the last of his clothes—God, his legs were long—before returning to press your own open-mouthed bruises along his neck. His hips bucked up against yours, insistently chasing any friction, but you tightened a grip on his thigh to get him to stop. “Give me a second.” 

“I don’t like that I’m suddenly under you,” Zoro said drily, and you could feel the words as they formed in his throat, still biting hickeys into his skin. You rolled your eyes, lips disconnecting from skin with a dull pop.

“Deal with it, Roronoa. I’m not moving.” With that, you finally reached down to coax his legs apart, hovering your core over his hips as you lined your entrance up with his length. 

There was an audible hitch of breath on Zoro’s part as you sunk onto him. Point. 

One of his hands tangled in your hair when you started moving, the other coming to press on the small of your back as you worked yourself up and down around him. For the complaining he’d done about the position, he didn’t seem so bothered about it, pulling you into a rough kiss. 

You bit back with force, breath escaping you as your hips bucked against Zoro’s. The wet pool in your lower belly only grew stronger with every thrust, pressure building up inside of you as Zoro’s tongue ran across your teeth. You moaned freely now, too lost in the daze of your pleasure to remember to be annoying. Evidently Zoro felt the same way—he swallowed every one of your gasps up, grunting as you pulsed around him.

Your hips stuttered, thigh muscles contracting with the effort as you clenched down on Zoro. Still, you pushed through even as your muscles started to tire, encouraged by the deep, throaty sounds that escaped Zoro's lips between each kiss. He was big, filling you up damn near wholeheartedly, the crevices inside of you seeming to mould to his skin as you worked yourself on him.

Zoro started moving against you, and you gasped as his angle changed, somehow reaching farther in your body and causing tingles to erupt all along your skin. Your mind buzzed as he thrust into you with renewed vigor, core pulsing as you felt yourself come closer and closer to the edge. 

You came all at once, teeth biting down in Zoro’s mouth before you parted from him. You let out a gasping moan, attempting to toss your head back as stars burst across your vision. Zoro’s hand in your hair dragged you back into a kiss, though; this one was slower, less teeth this time, like him coming had lessened the urge to bite. 

Your movements slowed, coming to rest against Zoro’s skin, warm and—although you wouldn’t say so out loud—almost comfortable. His hand hadn’t budged from where it was pressed against your lower back, holding you tight to him. 

There was a sticky wetness spreading fast by your thighs, and you grimaced, lifting yourself off of Zoro and rolling beside him on your back in one fluid motion. He stifled a groan at the movement, clearly irritated at the fact you hadn’t given any warning. 

You lay there, breath heaving, rising out your high and making no move to touch the man laying by your side. 

After you’d regained some of your dignity, you sat up, eyes narrowing at Zoro. “Get off my bed.” 

Zoro gave you an exasperated look, but he didn’t argue; he just climbed off your bed, retrieving his clothes from where you’d tossed them about the room. He donned them slowly, like he had all the time in the world. Your eyes traced along his figure while he did, and you only felt sort of annoyed by it. 

“I still hate you,” you snapped, after he’d finished changing. Zoro just scoffed, picking up his swords and slinging them across one shoulder. You could see a bruise purpling by his neck. At least you’d done damage. 

“Fine by me,” he replied, straightening his shirt and giving you a look—not quite irritated, not quite sarcastic. “Dinner’s still waiting for you.” 

You glared at his back as he opened the door to your bedroom. “Get lost, Roronoa,” you said, and that was that. 

© halfvalid 2023

[inuyashaluver]

hey there! just wanted to say hello and i hope you're doing well. i'm the same person who asked earlier if the requests were open, u would make me very happy if you could take mine.

i have an idea, perhaps s(mut)omething with alessia...

after losing the final in the wwc (or any match they have lost, which so far is several 😫😫), lessi and reader can't stop arguing and blaming each other. the tension becomes so intense that unexpectedly, they stop fighting and start kissing. the next day, both act as if nothing happened, but this turns out to be even more annoying as they continue making unpleasant comments towards each other, ruining the team dynamic. however, the rest of the girls on the team have no idea of the true reason behind all this and they strive to make them talk and resolve their conflict.

blame game - alessia russo

alessia russo x reader

description: in which you and alessia have a complicated relationship, only becoming more complicated during a heated screaming match after a loss

warnings: cheeky little arguments, angsty, swearing, fake football stats!! little long

a/n: hiya, lovely! thank you for the request, hope you enjoyyy ❤️

⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆

you and alessia had an..interesting relationship in the beginning to say the least. you hated each other but also had an immense amount of love and respect for each other? it’s complicated and you both can’t explain it.

you and alessia coincidentally always ended up at the same clubs but you never really talked.

you got signed to arsenal first and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes when she got signed right after.

perfect alessia, with her perfect face, her perfect football skills, her perfect scoring. everything. alessia was perfect and it drove you fucking insane.

in alessia’s case, you made her blood boil. the perfect defender she couldn’t get past in training, you with your perfect muscles that flexed in all the right ways, you with your perfect face. you were perfect and she couldn’t stand you.

the issue was that you literally were never apart, no matter what, at arsenal, national team, you were always together. but what you and alessia didn’t realise was that your hatred was masked with true affection.

when alessia did end up at arsenal, she was different. she was lighter, a little more tolerable than usual and it was intriguing, but you chose to hate (admire) her from a distance. you had all the same friends, hung out in the same crowd and people found it interesting how the two of you weren’t best friends.

—

overtime, both of you began to view each other in a different light.

alessia was clumsy and everyone knew it, even you. so one day, she was walking along with victoria to training while you walked behind with lotte. alessia was laughing brightly and it honestly gave you a funny feeling in your stomach.

victoria pushes her and the blonde stumbles, about to fall to her ass but you caught her instantly. you held her by the waist and helped her to stand upright, you could feel her body tense in your hold.

she turns to face you and is surprised you were the one who actually caught her, “thanks” she says quietly, you give her a curt nod and clear your throat, moving past her and leaving three curious eyes watching as you leave to talk to beth.

it was one of the first instances where you had alessia pink cheeked and stuttering.

—

you were all in the change room getting prepared for an upcoming game with arsenal. you hear alessia grumbling from two cubbies over about something. you’d ask her what’s wrong but lotte beat her to it.

“i forgot my shin pads” alessia whines, her head thrown back in frustration. “and you don’t have any spare?” lotte laughs, alessia throws her a glare and flips her off, going through her bag in hopes of finding them. lotte goes to her cubby to lace up her boots after teasing alessia.

you knew you and alessia wore the same type of shin pads, so when you were putting yours in your socks, you remembered the spare you had in your bag.

you wordlessly take them out and walk over to lotte, putting them in her hands and subtly nodding to alessia. lotte and the england girls knew you had a really weird relationship, you liked each other but didn’t, it was confusing not only for the two of you but everyone around you.

lotte looks at you in slight surprise but nods at you, a silent agreement that they wouldn’t be from you. but as soon as you returned to your cubby and lotte gave alessia the shin pads, alessia glanced at you almost immediately.

“thank you, lotte!” alessia smiles, they were a specific type of shin pads that only you and alessia wore, who else would it be?

you kept your head down the whole time and continued getting ready, missing the looks alessia had been giving you from the other side of the room.

during half time, arsenal was up 2-0 and you were both playing extremely well. you walk over breathless towards the other girls who were getting water, when you went to look for yours, alessia held it out to you experimentally, you look at her in slight shock, you felt your hands get clammy from the pretty blonde doing something so simple.

“thank you” you breathe out, “you’re playing well” alessia blurts out, her cheeks were flushed, she must be exhausted from the match. “thanks, you as well” you give her a tight lipped smile, she looks down in embarrassment and you analyse her. she looked beautiful. snap out of it, you thought.

—

it was the UEFA women’s nation’s league matches and you and alessia were both playing for england. so far you’d been winning all matches until it got to the forth match against belgium.

today was an off day for you, alessia has been clouding your mind more than usual. she kept doing little acts of service for you and it was making you insane.

belgium had scored first and it was increasing the pressure for the whole team. you were defending your ass off, stopping every opportunity you could. alessia had managed to even it out and when you gathered to celebrate, you gave her a little nod with a clap on the back.

her cheeks were pink and yours were too. everything was fine until they got the second goal. the player you were marking confused you and you ran right instead of left. you sprint to get back on your player but she shot from a distance and it just slipped past mary’s fingers.

you curse under your breath, receiving a glare from mary that you expected and you held your hand up to her in apology. she yells some words of encouragement to you and you try to focus, but a certain blonde looked at you in disappointment and it made your head all fuzzy. alessia was a distraction.

when the half time whistle went, you stormed off, angry at yourself. “what the fuck was that?” alessia storms in after you, grabbing your arm to turn you around and you do, but you rip your arm from her her grasp and look at her angrily.

“russo, stop, i fucking know!” you exclaim, glaring at her and moving to sit in your cubby with the angriest expression she’s ever seen you have in her life.

“it’s just not like you, it was sloppy-” alessia mumbles and you unfortunately heard it. you get up and move over to her, standing chest to chest and looking at each other dead in the eye. jaws clenched, eyes angry, body heat radiating in waves.

“listen here, star girl, i made a fucking mistake, we’re not all perfect like you and never make mistakes so i’m begging you, russo, shut the fuck up” you grit out, your breath fanning her lips had alessia going insane. if she moved just an inch, you’d be kissing.

the other girls start to walk in and you separate, immediately getting pulled by mary and getting scolded like no tomorrow. you were never sloppy and everyone knew that.

you shake it off and the match continues, beth had managed to even out the score and you let out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding.

you all work hard to get that third goal to win but it’s just not happening. you defend with everything you have, stopping numerous chances from the other team. unfortunately, lucy had made a mistake this time and belgium got another goal.

when the final whistle blew, you fell to the ground, you were furious. 3-2 was the score and it tantalised you when you glanced at the big screen. you weren’t a bad sportsman so you congratulate everyone.

when you and your team did your handshakes, you and alessia avoided each other like the plague. the team stays out while you walk to the change room, you just didn’t want to be out there right now. alessia was hot on your trail.

once you plop down in your cubby, alessia stands in front of you with her arms crossed.

“what’s wrong with you?” she asks simply, you look up at her and laugh in disbelief. “go ahead, russo, take out all your anger on me” your laughter turned into a scowl.

“well first off, why were you so sloppy, don’t you care?” alessia rambles, she didn’t mean any of it and you both knew that. she was angry and so were you.

“what about you, huh? couldn’t get another goal, aren’t you supposed to be scoring left, right and centre, star girl?” you taunt, looking up to see her reaction and surely enough, her jaw was clenched.

“yeah, maybe, but what about that third goal, huh? why didn’t you help lucy? it was partly your fault” she scoffs, “i was nowhere near her!” you exclaimed, standing up and crossing your own arms over your chest to glare at her.

“you’re better than that, (y/n), come on what’s bothering you?” she questions, taking a little step closer towards you, “nothing is bothering me” you grumble and she shakes her head instantly,

“i’ve known you for fucking 15 years so cut the bullshit, what’s wrong with you?” she tries again, “you’re what’s wrong with me, you’re driving me fucking insane!” you exclaim, she stares at you in shock.

her breath hitches as she sees your cheeks going slightly pink, she doesn’t know how she has the confidence but she grabs your face in both of her hands and smashes her lips on yours.

you freeze for a moment but kiss her back, you pull her closer by her waist and you both hum into each other's mouth. she leans into you and prompts you to press you against her.

your mouths are moving completely synchronised before you both add your tongues. she whines into your mouth when your teeth gently graze her bottom lip before she rips herself from you.

you look at her surprised, both of you breathing heavily as she moves away from you. her face is full of confusion, everything is so overwhelming at this moment. she looks at you conflicted for a second and runs out the door, leaving you there slightly hurt standing there alone. “less-” you call out to her but she was already gone.

you looked like a kicked puppy when everyone entered the change rooms but everyone thought you were just disappointed with the result, and you were, but you were more disappointed that the girl you liked clearly wanted nothing to do with you.

—

alessia couldn’t look at you. she felt awful. everything was just piling on top of her and it was all too much. she knew she liked you, she always has and now that you potentially liked her? she was driving herself mad with all the lingering thoughts. so much that sunshine, happy alessia has taken a page out of your book and was a little grumpy at training this morning.

you both looked furious and it wasn’t hard for everyone to put two and two together. you wouldn’t stand near each other, you’d attempt to look at her and she’d completely ignore you.

she made an effort to steer clear of you and it made you feel sick. you barely had any sleep, replaying the kiss over and over in your head. as well as replaying alessia walking out on you like you were nothing.

you were placed on opposite teams for training, and of course, you had to mark alessia. everyone noticed your hesitation with marking the girl, you wouldn’t tackle like you usually do. you let her get away with easy stuff so much that leah had to pull you aside and ask what was wrong. after about 5 minutes of you assuring her that you were okay, she let you go but kept a close eye the entire time.

and during the time of her watching, she noticed the way you’d nervously look at alessia. she also noticed the way alessia genuinely could not look at you.

after a few more missed tackles, everyone’s telling you to shake it off and you just can’t. “fuck, i know! i’m sorry” you groan after alessia scored around you. that’s when leah had it.

“right, less, (y/n/n) follow me” she says sternly, you take a deep breath and follow her, alessia follows from a far distance.

leah takes you both to the training room and makes you sit next to each other in front of her. “i’m not dealing with both of you acting like children, you’re sitting in here and sorting it out” she huffs, “don’t you dare try to come out until it’s fully resolved” you both nod at her and she nods back, leaving the two of you to talk while she closes the door behind her.

it was painfully silent as you both sat in the change room, your scowl was evident. as much as you loved the girl next to you, she left without any explanation yesterday and it hurt.

alessia adjusts her position as she sits, accidentally knocking your knee with hers. her touch burned your skin, her cheeks went bright pink. “sorry” she mumbles, moving a little further from you.

“you’re grumpy” you point out, the blonde breathes out a laugh and glances at you quickly, “mhm, i’ve been around you too much” she jokes, the corners of your lips lifted up slightly.

“listen, less, we can just forget about everything and go back to hating each other, i don’t care” you exhale, you do care and that’s the problem. alessia tenses at your words, you never call her anything other than ‘russo’, only using ‘alessia’ if it was really necessary.

“i don’t hate you” she says softly, fiddling with her hands in her lap, she’s avoiding eye contact and it’s killing you. you look over at her with raised eyebrows, “huh?” you say almost dumbly, feeling stupid about this whole situation already.

“i don’t hate you, (y/n), not at all” she breathes out, her voice is so quiet you almost can’t hear it.

“why did you run from me yesterday?” you ask cautiously, moving on the bench slightly closer to her. she clears her throat nervously, eyes still trained on her lap,

“i just-” she chokes out, looking up at the ceiling for a brief second before looking back down. “i got overwhelmed, with the game, with the kiss, with you” she swallows, she leans forward and puts her head in her hands.

you look at her worried, placing a gentle hand on her back that had her insides burning. “i’m sorry” you quip and she looks at you quickly, “no, don’t be sorry, you’ve done nothing wrong, it’s me” she rambles, grabbing your hand that was resting in your leg.

“(y/n), i’m so sorry i walked out on you yesterday” she says earnestly, she watches as your gaze softens, she’s never seen you like this.

“it’s okay-” you run your hand over her back and she interrupts you quickly, “no, it’s not okay, i was rude, and i’m really sorry” she frowns at you, you smile at her reassuringly,

“lessi, it’s okay, really, i do wanna say sorry for how i spoke to you yesterday, i was rude and i didn’t mean any of it, i was just pissed with the loss” you ramble, alessia smiles and nods at you, “it’s okay” she shrugs, her bright smile makes your cheek twinge pink.

“so, is everything normal?” you mock leah’s accent and alessia laughs, this is a new side of you that she’s never seen before and she can’t get enough of it. looks like the big, grumpy defender has met her match.

“of course” she smiles, you’re still holding hands and both of you were unwilling to let go. “alright, and i’m assuming the kiss is behind us?” you question, alessia furrows her eyebrows as she looks at you.

“no, let’s talk about it” she says sheepishly, you look at her with raised eyebrows. “o-okay” you stutter, you move your body to face her more and she copies you, both of you are now facing each other with one hand holding each other.

“were you okay with it?” you cautioned, alessia beams at you before nodding, “yeah, it was nice” she grins, “were you okay with it?” she mocks teasingly, you smile and nod at her, “it was nice” you tease, making the blonde giggle.

“do you want to do it again?” alessia suggests, making your eyes widen. “who knew you were this forward, russo” you gasp exaggeratedly, she laughs at you. “hm, it’s new” she shrugs, you smile back at her and glance between her eyes and her lips.

you close the gap and kiss her sweetly, it’s much more gentle than yesterday’s kiss, this one was a confirmation of feelings, assurance. it made you both giddy and excited.

you pull away from her and she chases your lips, kissing you for a bit longer before pulling away and giving you a satisfied smile.

“i’m in love with you” you blurt out, surprising yourself completely, this girl had you wrapped around her finger.

you both look at each other in shock before she breaks out into a bright grin, “i’m in love with you too” she looks at you with so much affection, you could feel yourself melting in a puddle.

you both smile at each other before you pull her forward for another kiss. she smiles into you and you tug her into your lap, she straddles you and kisses you sweetly.

you hum into her and pull her closer. you pull away from her slightly, “you’re perfect” you say against her lips, she pecks your lips with a gentle smile, “you’re perfect” she parrots, moving to kiss you again.

you both walk out of the room with shy smiles and kiss swollen lips. she wraps her hand around your arm and holds you close to her. you’re both smiling so brightly that it had leah completely satisfied. she knew you both needed a little push.

a complete shift, both of you can’t keep your hands off each other, stealing glances, giggling and whispering, the whole team was shocked.

“i thought you two hated each other?” ella teases, “we do” you mock, pulling alessia to your chest and kissing her cheeks repeatedly, ella screams and covers her eyes while you and alessia grin brightly.

alessia looks at you with so much love, kissing your lips sweetly before chasing ella. that’s when a smug leah slings her arm over your shoulder.

“just saying, i knew you liked her all along” leah sings out, you laugh and nod, “alright, lee” you smile. alessia from a distance waves at you enthusiastically and you wink at her, waving back. she smiles brightly and goofs off with ella.

—

you both ended up moving in together, alessia had fully taken you out of your shell. you both made each other so happy, everyone could see how much you loved each other.

it took a while for everyone to get used to you being all lovey dovey with each other but once they see how you act and behave together, it’s incredibly endearing.

you both shine brightly with each other and it shows, you’re quite thankful for that loss to belgium, not that you’d ever tell that to anyone. well..alessia knows. alessia knows everything.

⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆

you know the drill - just pretend it’s you! ily millsy

liked by ellatoone and 44,232 others

alessiarusso99: my grumpy girl

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yourname: my happy girl

leahwilliamsonn: she doesn’t look grumpy at all, mate

↳ alessiarusso99: yeah, because i’m there

↳ yourname: so true

↳ leahwilliamsonn: what the fuck did you do to her?

↳ alessiarusso99: gave her a little kiss and she’s happy chappy

↳ yourname: very happy chappy

[lovingseventeen]

hiiii <3 could you do a jealous svt pls <333 love your writing it's so cute :')

jealous seventeen ˚➶ ｡˚

a/n: i hope i did this request justice! (also these got hella long omg)

seungcheol:

❀ whines and pouts, you can't escape them

❀ not super serious but he will let you know

❀ "he kept fawning over you, who does that guy think he is!" he tells you as you both enter your apartment, "like i was right there and he really had no shame!"

❀ "y/n, never talk to him again, he doesn't even deserve a glance" he tells you (only half serious, he'd never actually try to control who you talked to)

❀ literally just kiss him mid complaint and it'll resolve 98% of his issue

❀ "'cheol you know you have nothing to worry about, i love you, remember?"

❀ give him an extra kiss on the cheek and this gets him to maybe stop pouting

❀ insists on being a little closer to you that day

jeonghan:

❀ no one would be able to tell except for the guy he’s trying to ward off from you

❀ he prides himself on you have his ultimate trust, of course you could never do anything wrong!

❀ it’s at a party and he can just sense that this guy is going to try something. he can't let this go on any longer when he sees him slightly lean in to you to try to whisper something in your ear

❀ he’ll do something simple, maybe pushing your hair behind your ear to cup your cheek to make his presence known

❀ immediately, you turn at the familiar gesture and it only gets better when you smile when you see him, “hi ‘hannie”

joshua:

❀ joshua is kind of perfect in my mind ??? so i firmly believe we have a communication king right here

❀ you come home from a party and when you both finish washing up he pulls you in for some cuddles, with you resting your head on his chest

❀ “you tired?” you asked

❀ “mm a little” he hums

❀ when you glance up to look at his face you notice he’s a bit deep in thought

❀ “is there something wrong?”

❀ “hmm, you didn’t do anything wrong, love” he begins, “just something about that guy from earlier.. the one in the blue shirt? something felt off..”

❀ “was someone feeling a little jealous?” you chuckled, earning a small chuckle from him too because he feels a little silly over this

❀ “a bit” he confirms, hugging you a little tighter

❀ “we’ll it’s a good thing i get to go home with you, isn’t it?” you smile, leaning up him a kiss. he murmurs a "that's true" against your lips

jun:

❀ will remove you from the situation in the most random way possible

❀ there's someone talking to you a little too close for his liking and he really just walks up to you with his phone in his hand

❀ "baby, your mom's calling"

❀ your mom barely calls him so you're very confused, but you politely excuse yourself to take this call

❀ once he's led you away, you're both looking at each other and he realizes he didn't know what to do when his plan got this far

❀ "isn't she on the call right now?" you ask, pointing to his phone

❀ "um, actually no one was calling?" he admits

❀ you're perplexed and you don't really put two and two together until you both see the person from your earlier conversation walking up to you and jun steers you in another direction

❀ you're giggling as you're walking away, "junnie were you getting jealous?"

❀ "hm?" he hums, even raising his eyebrows, "never"

❀ please massage his temples later for he's been a bit stressed

hoshi:

❀ he feels a pang in his heart when he gets jealous

❀ but he also doesn’t want to confront you because he does trust you and he knows he really has nothing to worry about

❀ but he can’t help but feel a little territorial and he just wants to let you know how much he wants you

❀ if you’re at a party he’ll wait for you to finish your little conversation. he makes eye contact with you across the room and you see him take a seat somewhere on the side

❀ when you make your way towards him a couple moments later, he leans into your ear, hot breath tickling you and heightening your senses

❀ “you know you look so hot right now?”

❀ he’s still leaning in when this comment makes you blush. “that person’s practically drooling, i mean, anyone would”

❀ a hand comes to your thigh and he places a kiss that just ghosts over the skin of your neck

❀ “do you wanna get out of here?”

❀ you’re nodding immediately-

wonwoo:

❀ you brought him to a reunion dinner with you and inevitably, old histories get rehashed for fun

❀ someone brings up how you almost got together with another guy all those years ago and it just so happens that that person is at the dinner too

❀ “remember when he got y/n flowers!” and everyone chatters in agreement

❀ frankly wonwoo feels a little sick even if it was only a joke, you’re laughing awkwardly but you do sneak glances at him to check if he’s okay

❀ “damn imagine if they did get together all those years ago, they might’ve been married now!”

❀ his stomach churns even more when that guy looks at you and his stare lingers. “y/n, imagine?” he calls out to you, even from across the table

❀ at that comment everyone’s gasping and cheering on weird excitement and wonwoo feels as if he’s getting smaller and smaller

❀ “guys, c’mon…” you start, trying to calm everyone down

❀ in an attempt to ground himself a little bit he reaches for your hand. his anxiety calms down a bit when you take his one hand in both of yours. it always calms him when you do this

❀ you turn to him and lean into his ear, “we can go soon if you feel uncomfortable”

❀ he shakes his head, assuring you that he’s fine even if he doesn’t feel great. though it does help that you check on him throughout the night even when the conversation changes topic

❀ on your way home, you walk with your arms linked together. “sorry if they made you uncomfortable earlier,” you told him, “it was such a long time ago, i don’t know why they still bring it up”

❀ “it’s not your fault so you don’t have to be sorry” he replies, “but do you wonder if things could’ve been different?”

❀ he’s surprised when you stop walking to look at him. “i don’t wonder about it because i’m happy with you wonu”

❀ you’re glad to see his smile, it feels like you haven’t seen it all night. “i’m very happy with you too”

❀ this lighter mood lets you two continue your walk home, but maybe you walk a little closer to him

woozi:

❀ i think he’d be able to reason himself out because he finds himself getting jealous as him being silly

❀ you’ve never given him a reason to feel this way, so why should he start now?

❀ this leads him to think about all the best parts of you and how he loves you so much he feels like his heart is gonna burst sometimes

❀ so his moment of jealousy turns into him wanting to do something nice for you

❀ you come home to jihoon having ordered from your favorite restaurant and even some dessert from your favorite bakery

❀ you walk over to him to kiss his cheek, “what’s all this?”

❀ “nothing much, just thought you deserved it” he tells you, returning a kiss to the side of your head

❀ you’re so smiley over the food and you tell him, “i love you, you know”

dokyeom:

❀ pleads with his eyes but ultimately stays quiet

❀ he by no means wants to be possessive but the way this barista is talking to you makes his stomach churn

❀ who is this guy going on about how you're one of their regulars and yadda yadda yadda..

❀ at first it's dokyeom’s fingers lightly touching your hand, then an arm wraps around your waist as this small talk kills him

❀ you can feel his gaze as this barista tries to extend the conversation despite the line forming behind you

❀ when you notice how he looks a little sad you politely tell the barista, "well, i'm so excited that i get to show my boyfriend how good your coffee is! have a nice day!"

❀ dokyeom perks at hearing you announce him as your boyfriend as the two of you walk to a little booth in the cafe, his hand staying at your waist

❀ he also chooses to sit next to you at this booth, keeping a hand on your thigh

❀ "here you need to taste this," you gush, feeding him a small bite of a pastry and doting on him a little bit more than usual

❀ he eases up a bit when you kiss his cheek. "you know you're my favorite person right," you tell him

❀ with this, his eyes crinkle when he smiles and he nods, the moment of jealousy he had becomes forgotten

❀ "and you know you're mine"

mingyu:

❀ his heart ACHES

❀ he would never stop you from seeing anyone, completely trusting you, so he just told you a "have fun, baby" on your way out to meet up with an old classmate

❀ he sees your story as you're out and sees that.. this classmate... is quite attractive... he feels awful for his mind even taking this route

❀ your story is innocent, pictures of your food, a casual selfie with the caption "reunited after so long!" with your friend's username tagged too

❀ and so ensues the stalking of this friend's account LMAO

❀ he doesn't even care if he gets caught stalking this person's story as he taps to view it. to his dismay your friend posted a selfie of the two of you too

❀ what mingyu immediately notices is the way their arm is around you in the photo, pulling you close as you (cutely) hold up a peace sign with your fingers

❀ when you come home he welcomes you with a tight hug while simultaneously fighting back the urge to ask you too much about your night

❀ "you look pretty today, did i tell you that yet?" "thank you, 'gyu" you smiled as you took off your shoes

❀ when the two of you eventually settle on the couch he tries his very best to be casual with some of his questions

❀ "so how was it? are they a close friend from before?" part of his jealousy subsided as you snuggled into him, "yeah a bit, we grew up together, it was good to catch up after so long"

❀ his hand runs up and down your back as he tries to think of how to gently ask a few more questions. he figures he might as well mention it

❀ "so i tapped on your friend's profile because you tagged them?"

❀ you raise your eyebrows, "oh yeah?"

❀ he can’t help but bring up the hug, "were you guys the kind of friends that hugged a lot? because that's totally fine-" your chuckle interrupts him

❀ "would it help you relax if you knew they also had a partner?"

❀ "oh" he sighs and you could tell a part of him was relieved

❀ “and we talked about you too” you continue

❀ this makes him curious. “you did?”

❀ “yeah i told them i’m so stupidly in love with you that i’d rather the earth crack in half and swallow me if i had to live without you”

❀ he laughs, “sure you did-”

❀ “i did! and i even said how i think about you all the time and how you’re so unbelievably handsome that i’m embarrassingly down bad”-

❀ it’s his turn to interrupt you with a half tackle of a hug, pulling you so close to him in an embrace so tight that your laugh gets muffled

❀ “okay i get it, i love you, it was silly to be jealous” he chuckles

minghao:

❀ maybe one day he picks you up from work and you greet him with a hug as he waits for you outside of his car. he notices your jacket and wonders if it’s new

❀ when he hugs you he likes to bury his face in the crook of your neck. to his surprise, he smells a cologne that is definitely not his

❀ “new jacket?” he asks casually

❀ “oh it got cold and my friend had an extra jacket in his locker” you explain

❀ “oh okay” he replies, but you don’t miss the millisecond his eyebrows knit together in thought

❀ suddenly he’s taking off his thick sweater even if he’s only wearing a shirt underneath. “here wear this instead it’s probably warmer, it’s wool, see?”

❀ “hao you only have a shirt on, you’ll get cold then”

❀ “no it’s okay” he assures you “i don’t get cold but you do, here” NDYDYDHDH

❀ before you can protest any further, he’s sliding your friend’s jacket off your shoulders and slipping the opening of his (admittedly warmer) sweater over your head

❀ “better right?” he asks as he folds your friend’s jacket up neatly

❀ “yeah” you agree, hugging yourself with his sleeves that are too long for you, “still has your warmth too”

❀ “exactly” he smiles, patting your head. he always loves seeing you in his clothes, there’s no reason for you to need anyone else’s :)

seungkwan:

❀ so maybe you gave mingyu a casual compliment because bros been getting beefy and you know he puts a lot of work into it

❀ "wow going to the gym is paying off, huh?"

❀ seungkwan overhears this and gives the most obvious and unabashed side eye LOL

❀ when you try to get him to stop pouting later on he’s (still gently) batting you away and removing your hand from him and flicking it NSYSH

❀ you're asking him for a favor he won't help you

❀ “uh huh, why are you coming to me now? i’m sure mingyu can open that bottle for you with his big beefy arms!”

❀ "but i want you!" you insist and for a second his act drops because he likes it when you tell him you like him

❀ he tuts anyway but he can't resist you (he loves making your life easier)

❀ "i can start working out my arms too, you know" he tells you

❀ you chuckle, shaking your head, "i mean, i'd root for you in anything you choose to do, but just so you know, i love my talented, pretty, athletic, kind- did i say handsome yet? handsome- package deal of a boyfriend"

❀ he's blushing now, you got him hehe

vernon:

❀ you would almost miss it if you didn’t recognize the subtle difference in his mannerisms

❀ he’s not super big on pda and you're fine with that, so you do notice when his hand doesn’t exactly know where to rest

❀ first it’s lightly on the small of your back, then it’s around your waist, then it’s back to your back

❀ he’s so quiet but you can tell he’s thinking about something in the way his gaze is a little in the distance

❀ vernon was originally part of this conversation with this other person but he does notice how they’re only focusing on you, leaning into you, and laughing a little too hard at your jokes

❀ when you hear a forced laugh come out of him you definitely know he’s feeling off

❀ his jealous thoughts only subside when you take his anxious hand and rest it on your hip and you take a step to put your body flush against his. no one could doubt that you’re a couple

❀ later on, his hand still hasn’t left you and you notice that this is new. kiss his jaw to ease him a bit, a silent message of you have nothing to worry about

dino:

❀ he hears you gasp when as your scrolling on your phone

❀ he’s feeling just a little nosy so he peeks over at your phone only to see some other shirtless idol and he is BETRAYED LMAO

❀ “baby you have the future of kpop right next to you” he whines

❀ you laugh, closing your phone to to cup his cheeks, “of course, and he’s definitely the hottest”

❀ he rolls his eyes jokingly and you think it ends here

❀ ohoho the next morning you’re surprised to walk into your kitchen to see your boyfriend shirtless with his pajamas hanging dangerously low on his hips, abs very prominent in the gentle morning light

❀ you can’t help but walk over to rest your hands on his hips

❀ “why are you naked so early in the morning…?”

❀ “what do you mean? i always walk around the house like this” (no he doesn’t) (he’s also definitely flexing right now)

❀ “uh huh, you know you can’t do this, right?” you tell him, tilting your head to the side

❀ he’s feeling a little bold, so he leans in so his face is inches from yours. “and why not?”

❀ “because i’d never get anything done” is the last thing you say before you’re taking his hand and pulling him back to your bedroom and pushing him onto your bed-

[howiscallmewhateveridctaken]

Lmfaooo what a week 😅

So a lot of people are, understandably, leaving the fandom. Drama like this always tends to put people off and unfortunately that affects the media they’ve come to love. I’m not going to be one of those people bc honestly, I don’t even know if I was ever that “in” the fandom in the first place to even leave it. My account isn’t and never was a nevermore account, yes I’ve made a few nevermore post but those were infrequent and amongst posts and reblogs of multiple other fandoms. I’m also in the discord server but I’ve only ever been a lurker, and usually only ever go in it when I want more context to something I’ve seen on tumblr. With that being said however, I still plan on reading nevermore when (or if) it continues because in THIS particular instance I can easily separate art from the artist and I’ll explain why in a moment.

Like I said I’m not and never have been very active in the fandom. I learned about this drama through a post from an account I follow and went through the server to find more context. I was not present through any of the actual conflicts but I’ve seen the conversations.

So why am I commenting on this?

Well mainly I want to make a point about para social relationships as well as moderation of servers and fandoms as a creator.

I just want to preface this by saying that after reading through all possible context, perspectives, takes and evidence I could find or come across, I genuinely don’t think red is necessarily a bad/morally wrong person. I DO however think she is in the wrong in this situation especially due to how she handled everything. As for how a lot of people are reacting to everything, there’s a couple of things I’d like to note:

From what I’ve seen, all of this is just one big thing of “he said/she said” and pointing fingers as well as just picking sides. If your absolutely distraught because red didn’t turn out to be the person you thought they were simply because she said things you didn’t like, I understand the disappointment and frustration but please remember that content creators in general aren’t your friends. You don’t know these people, they just do things you happen to like. Now I’m not saying you SHOULDN’T feel upset about it, it’s ok to and you even should if it’s an issue to you feel strongly about but please keep in mind that this isn’t a “sign of their true colors” or anything because you don’t know what they were actually like to begin with. Ofc I don’t mean that to say “expect the worst from people” but more as a reminder that can hopefully help you to look at the situation more critically and logically before jumping in guns blazing. It’s understandable if it affects you emotionally, you were emotionally invested in their work; but please realize this before you let it get to that point. Now on the other side of the coin, there’s the people who I feel as though will just pick the creators side simply because they’re fanboys and will stand by them no matter what. I’m DEFINITELY NOT saying that’s what everyone who’s on red side is, but naturally there’s bound to be a few that are going to dickride for the sake of dickriding. Regardless, there’s a lack of willingness to listen and understand from both sides (at least from what I’ve noticed) and that’s a problem because when no one wants to listen then what’s supposed to be a community coming together to resolve an issue just turns into a giant flame war. Also this should go without saying, but at least give the mods a chance. They obviously handled the whole situation horrendously but they aren’t going to do their jobs any better when they’ve got people coming at them with pitchforks.

Speaking of the moderators. I genuinely can’t wrap my head around how red and the other mods have managed to fumble this badly…….like it’s almost funny. All said and done they all had ONE very simple job and they blew it. Although I very much disagree with it, I do understand red’s decision to unban crimson. They wanted to give them a second chance, sure whatever. What I DONT GET is why would they not at the very least check to see if anyone else would be comfortable with a decision that would possibly affect them or even impact their safety. At the very least a warning to or a discussion with the victims would have been something. Not only that but even after they unban them, once red saw the NUMEROUS amount of people that were upset about it they, they should have immediately banned them again and then apologize after instead of some rushed explanation. But I get it stress gets the better of you. I understand their desire to keep things as transparent as possible (which i appreciate and I’m sure so do many others) but from that first apology/explanation it felt more like red trying to shake responsibility off themselves and pointing fingers in the guise of being transparent. I did see where red was trying to get at in her first statement, but there was also things that she honestly should have just had the foresight to realize wouldn’t put her in a better light, and this is aside from the victim blaming-esque wording. red basically says that she felt like a group of people (including Laci the one who reported crimson) were just out to get crimson, which is absolutely insane but then again it’s the internet so who knows. However it’s super clear that Laci obviously wasn’t lying bc the things she accused crimson of did in fact happen. So even bringing that up was enough for me to raise my eyebrow at but I digress. Then red practically says it was hard to handle the situation bc the evidence provided was censored, but Laci literally offered to give the uncensored versions so that was completely disingenuous on red’s part at best. To me it just seemed like the mods were looking for excuses for what could be there own laziness at best and negligence at worst. Their biggest fault so far is not being very good at actually listening to their audience and taking them into consideration. She also brought up that fact that Laci was apparently the only person to report crimson which I did not like to say the least. One of the victims confided in Laci and Laci brought it forward. I understand reds suspicions about Laci not being in the actual server where it happened but how are you going to immediately jump to “well why did no one else bring it up” instead of stopping for a sec and thinking “ hm clearly these victims feel uncomfortable stepping forward”. Which they had to do now anyway because of how bad the issue became. They should not have had to do that. Better it be just one person reporting, even if it’s someone you don’t like, than no one reporting and the issue persists under the radar.

And then there’s red’s formal apology…

First off, girl why are you dropping names??? A bunch of who are supposedly minors? Like let’s be so fucking for real right now😭

And then the audacity to be like “please don’t go after or dm these people” like babes if you were genuinely worried about them you wouldn’t have used their names at all. ESPECIALLY when in the end it was completely irrelevant and borderline inappropriate since it really had nothing to do with crimson, their actions or how you handled them. Not to mention the act of calling them “cliques” when literally all they were was side servers. Like if they’re cliques then what does that make red and everyone who’s on her side? It was very clearly just a biased reaction to people saying things she doesn’t like about her, which by all means she has the right to respond to but not in a way that is clearly trying to sway how everyone else sees them. The way red describes everything is as if it’s middle school drama and then proceeds to play directly into it. Don’t get me wrong her apology was fine, when she was ACTUALLY apologizing. Everything else felt like a last ditch effort to drag others under the bus with her. It was lowkey embarrassing to say the least.

Again, it’s important that I make it clear that I don’t believe red is a bad person. I just think she’s an immature person, or at least she is in how she handled everything and continues to handle it bc like I said I don’t know her, and don’t care to frankly. I didn’t start reading nevermore to be buddy buddy with her. Like if we look at the grand scope of things, this is a grown woman beefing with kids. Obviously they aren’t all kids, most of them aren’t I believe but she’s practically stooping down to school yard conflict in how she’s responded so far. Especially at one point in the server when she was being called out and jumped to “yeah I guess I’m the bad guy and totally evil. You all should hate me”. Like actually cut that shit out, what are you doing. I mean honestly.

And my final point because I’ve ranted long enough. I mentioned before that in this instance I am willing to separate the art from the artist, I stand by that because I genuinely do think this is a situation where red could hopefully grow from this and rectify things. The actual unbanning was a stupid and inconsiderate move on her part, but I don’t think she meant any ill-will or had any malicious intent. I disagree with the people calling her a r@pe apologist because that’s honestly just a huge reach. I’ve also seen some accusations of red and/or Flynn being racist, promoting inappropriate art knowing there’s minors around and from what I’ve seen it’s pretty iffy. Regarding the racism, I don’t believe that they are. Their characterizations of the characters regarding their ethnicities IS stereotypical and was obviously just very surface level research into those respective cultures but I chopped that up to ignorance rather than racism. As a woc I was frankly just relived they didn’t make the poc characters centered on some kind of discrimination or tragedy from their era, which yes is something that shouldn’t be ignored but also I don’t know if rednflynn could accurately and more importantly, respectfully portray those types of issues. Nor is it even their place tbh. With that being said however I don’t belong to most of the cultures the characters belong to. To me it never seemed like they were making a caricature out of these cultures, especially since their ethnicities are barely relevant to their stories anyway but I acknowledge that it’s not my place to deem what’s offensive or not.

As for the promoting inappropriate art of the characters and creating some themselves. Yeah they do. I’ve never been shocked about that nor did I think it was something that they are wrong for doing, I mean it’s their own work. Granted I didn’t realize how many minors were in the fandom but that’s literally every fandom, there’s only so much you could do about it. I don’t know if nevermore has a rating but it’s not like it was something ever promoted to be kid friendly, it’s obvious that some scenes are just straight up fan service. While I personally don’t like fan service it never was enough to impact the story so I personally never saw an issue. But point is I don’t think they should have to monitor what is and isn’t appropriate for minors but things get tricky when they have a server where they are clearly aware of minors.

And then there’s other things like people accusing them of promoting SA or some shit like that bc of a lot of stuff involving Montessor which frankly, that’s just a media literacy issue on the readers part. So yeah with that being said I don’t think red is a bad person, although I understand why a lot of people are done with them which is completely fair. I’m pretty much in a grey area about it, who knows if they end up getting in an even bigger scandal, hopefully they come out better from this but only time will tell. The best/smartest thing red has said throughout this entire debacle was that they’re taking a step back from the fandom. I think it’ll be good for everyone, especially them. It seems like it’ll take stress off them anyway. Plus the hole they’ve dug for themselves is already halfway to china by now so there’s that

[bemusedlybespectacled]

Question: I enjoyed s1 OF OFMD, but for various reasons I never actually got around to watching s2 (pick up most of the plot from tumblr tho). What exactly went wrong in s2 that got so many people upset?

Oh, boy. Very long rant incoming.

So, for context, S2 had a significantly smaller budget, which necessitated moving the filming location to union-unfriendly New Zealand, reducing the number of actors/number of appearances of established actors, and cutting down the number of episodes from 10 to 8. In a show where each episode is only about half an hour long, that last one alone was enough to seriously hamper any character development or plot. I am very comfortable putting the vast majority of the blame on HBO because of these financial decisions.

The short version is that Jenkins et. al. needed to address and build on the problems left hanging in S1 while also getting the characters to the end of their character trajectories in case there was no S3 while also leaving room for additional episodes in case there was a S3, in a grand total of four hours, and failed.

The long version is that there were a bunch of what I'd consider small problems in isolation that came together and exploded in the S2 finale.

The reduced cast necessitated breaking up the crew (ex: having Swede marry Jackie and stay on land with her, so they don't need to pay Nat Faxon for all eight episodes) and not spending as much time on their relationships as S1 did.

The reduced time meant that the entire season was rushed (in contrast to S1, which takes place over at least several weeks if not months, most of S2 takes place in roughly five days), leading both to a lot of telling rather than showing (because they don't have time to show you), including vital character and relationship development.

This includes:

Having the Kraken half of the crew beat Ed to death after months of being abused by him – abuse that is clearly shown to have given them PTSD and a well-justified fear and hatred of him – only for them to be okay with him two in-universe days later;

On that note, having Stede dismiss the crew's concerns about Ed because he loves him and also we only have three more episodes left to fit in everything so we need to get over it really fast, even though Stede is supposed to be well-meaning and caring (even if he's not good at it all the time);

Resolving the issue of Stede abandoning Ed in one day, then having them "go slowly" in their relationship for two days and then have some spur-of-the-moment sex, and then the next afternoon have them break up over their diverging career aspirations, and then the day after that resolve that problem and retire on land while the rest of the crew sails off into the sunset;

Stede becoming a fantastic pirate captain over the course of one day, becoming wildly popular in the piracy world two days later, and then deciding the day after that to never be a captain again because he is retiring with Ed;

Having Ed and Stede decide to retire together as what is implied to be the end point of their relationship arc, when none of Stede's issues from S1, like his poor self-esteem, have been so much as mentioned by anyone, implying that he's either magically gotten over them or they don't matter all that much, actually, even though they were the catalyst for basically everything he did in S1;

Ed having two separate character crises – "I am an unlovable person" and "I want to do something with my life other than piracy" – not spending a lot of time on either one, having moments that clearly indicate he is still working on both problems and they have not been resolved, and then apparently having them both be resolved in the final episode despite nothing occurring to actually make that happen, and in regards to the latter, despite the story actively undermining it by repeatedly showing he can't do anything other than piracy;

Related to the above, Ed ending the series as allegedly being loved by the crew as a family (thus solving Crisis #1) despite this never actually being shown, demonstrated, or even fucking alluded to onscreen. If anything, it shows the exact opposite.

This last point is especially galling to me because of what is probably the most divisive issue in the fandom right now: killing off Izzy Hands after giving him seven episodes of character development.

The show begins with the Kraken crew clearly trying to use the skills they learned as part of Stede's crew to cope with their incredibly shitty situation and care for each other, which includes Izzy. Izzy, on his end, tries to protect the crew and speak up for them, which results in him being repeatedly hurt (both implicitly, as Ed at one point says "that's another toe" in response to Izzy advocating for the crew and we later see he's missing more than one toe already, and explicitly, as Ed shoots him in the fucking leg in front of the crew when he stands up for them).

This camaraderie is shown again and again and again. Frenchie, Jim, and Archie take care of Izzy while his leg is infected, at risk to their own lives. Izzy's misery over losing his leg is what unites the PTSD-ridden Kraken crew and the well-meaning-but-ignorant-of-PTSD marooned crew, who are initially at odds, to make him a new prosthetic leg. Izzy gives Lucius advice about forgiving Ed. Izzy is introduced to drag and opens up enough to sing at a crew party, and the whole crew is having fun together while Ed and Stede are in their cabin having sex for the first time. Izzy gives Stede pirate captain lessons and bonds with him when Ed leaves him. Izzy provokes the season's villain into focusing on him and then gives a big speech about how piracy is about belonging to something, giving the rest of the crew time to try to escape.

Recall that Season 1 had some pretty well-established universe rules, one of which was that it runs on Muppet physics/magical realism. People can jump off yardarms, hit the side on the way down, and be perfectly fine. People can get stabbed in the liver and it's totally okay because it's probably not that important, and even can stay pinned to a mast all night that way with only mild discomfort. Buttons can talk to birds and see long distances without a spyglass and put hexes on people. Good people can be hurt (Stede is stabbed repeatedly), bad people can die (the Badmintons, Geraldo), but no one we care about is ever killed.

This is repeated in Season 2: Ed is beaten into a coma with a cannonball and wakes up like Sleeping Beauty after a spirit journey, with no injuries to his face or body. Buttons turns into a seagull after spending an episode doing a magic ritual and is never seen again (because they couldn't keep paying Ewen Bremner due to the budget cuts). Jackie microdoses her husbands with poison to build up their immunity, so that she can later pull a Dread Pirate Westley and poison the British with shared drinks.

So: in the finale, the villain of the season is taken hostage by the pirates (for reasons? unclear how that fits in the plan), happens to have a gun on him (no one checked??), shoots Izzy on the right side and then leaves with no repercussions. The entire crew stands around silently doing nothing while Ed cries over Izzy and tells him that he's his only family.

And Izzy fucking Hands, the guy who just spent eight episodes bonding with and protecting everyone, uses his last words to reassure Ed that him becoming Blackbeard/the Kraken was Izzy's fault and that the crew is Ed's family and they all love him. No one else says anything to Izzy or tries to comfort him or help him in any way.

I repeat: in a show predicated on the idea that bullies and bigots die stupid deaths while queer people and POC are basically magic, a show that was praised for being kind to queer people by not making them worry about their faves suffering or dying, a show founded on the strength of the relationships between the characters, the guy who went through a season-long arc of learning to embrace his pirate found family and his own queerness is shot for stupid reasons on the side we're told isn't important and dies while everyone just stands there. His last words are about the whole crew loving Ed when the only person that the whole crew has loved all season is him.

Anyway, never mind all that, let's cut to Lucius and Pete getting married and Stede and Ed retiring!

Complicating all this is that people who liked Izzy (or even said anything insufficiently mean about Izzy) were harassed for months in between seasons with insults, slurs, and actual fucking death threats. Izzy's growth was kind of a vindication for liking him: it meant that, despite all the harassment, we were right to like him and care about him as a character. Even people who didn't like him initially started to like him during Season 2.

And then he dies, and now there's a bunch of people saying that Izzy fans are big whiny babies who can't handle fictional death, and actually his death was so meaningful and beautiful and the only logical end to his arc, and it can't be bad writing because people die in real life all the time, and also he admitted he fed Ed's darkness so actually he was a terrible person all along anyway and they were right to hate him (and his fans)!

So, yeah, there are a lot of reasons why it's so hated, and I'm probably only addressing the problems of the pro-Izzy people (from what I can tell, BlackBonnet shippers who don't like Izzy think Ed and Stede's relationship is fine and dandy, but I'm sure that there are other criticisms they have that I have not addressed). I'm not even addressing the issues with Jim and Oluwande's relationship this season (and whooo boy are there issues).

It wasn't a universally bad season. There were episodes I really loved and still do. But the finale was a train wreck, and because it was a train wreck, a lot of people are looking back at what happened before the wreck and realizing that, oh, the train lost its brakes and steering because of the budget cuts and the engineers kept throwing fuel in the engine to make it go faster, and huh, now that I think of it, that part earlier in the trip was really wobbly but I didn't pay much attention to it at the time because I was sure the engineers had everything covered.

[mypimpademia]

— Darlin’ I Don’t Wish You Well, When You Ain’t w Me

Ex!Bakugo x gn!reader

TW; Swearing, Bakugos a bit toxic but he doesn’t act on anything

Note: Part 2 (SMAU) is here !

⇶ While Katsuki wouldn’t be a bad boyfriend, he’d be a god awful ex

⇶ He’d treat you well during your relationship, actually, much to everyone’s surprise

⇶ Tends to all your needs and always makes sure that you knew how much he loves and cares for you

⇶ Your relationship wouldn’t be anywhere near bad, it’d be amazing actually and he makes a great boyfriend

⇶ But the way Katsuki acts in other areas is what leads to the downfall of your relationship

⇶ His ego, the way he treats and speaks to others, and other bad habits

⇶ He’s confided in you about his personal struggles with these things, and of course you were understanding and consoled him

⇶ But at the same time, you couldn’t stand seeing him act like such an asshole to people, especially since he acknowledges his issues but it seems to do little to nothing about them

“I can’t do this with you anymore, Katsu.”

You and Katsuki didn’t argue as much as people would think. And when you did, a lot of them were easily talked out after a quick intermission for both of you to calm down instead of screaming at each other. But there was one repetitive issue that you two never seemed to resolve.

A repetitive issue with him.

“What? What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Katsuki heaved.

He knew exactly what you meant. He just hoped you didn’t actually mean it.

“I can’t be with someone who’s just such a fucking dick to everyone and anyone,” you ranted. “I mean seriously, would it really kill you to at least have basic human decency?”

He rolled his eyes and groaned. Truly, he’s too blinded by his own ego to understand what the problem is. It’s not like he treated you poorly, so why do you care so much?

“Oh my fucking god,” Katsuki whispered. “Why does this shit even matter to you so much? You act like this affects you somehow.”

The crazy part is, that he knows his ego is getting in the way of him seeing through this. But even then, he still can’t wrap his head around it.

“Are you deadass?” You gaped at him, completely in shock that he’d even think that, let alone say that to you. “‘Y/n, what’s wrong with Bakugo this time?’ And ‘Y/n, why’s your boyfriend such a fucking cunt?’ But you’re really gonna tell me this doesn’t affect me?”

“I mean, fuck, Katsuki, your head is so far up your own ass sometimes,” now, you were yelling, and Katsuki’s heart was sinking at the thought of what was to come. “You treat me right, and I won’t say that you don’t, but you can’t be that dense to not see how what you do bounces back onto others.”

His breathing pattern was all over the place, and his heart was beating rapidly. Katsuki wouldn’t have been surprised if he passed out right there.

“Okay, okay. You’re right, it does, I’m sorry,” he raked a hand through his spiked hair. “But what do you mean you ‘can’t do this anymore’?”

He wasn’t trying to deflect, and you both knew that. But the weight that the four words held was unbearable.

“I mean, I can’t be with you anymore.”

⇶ Katsuki isn’t a begger by any means, but he begged that day

⇶ He told you how much he loved you, and needed you, that you mean the world to him

⇶ And none of it was a ploy to get you to stay, he really did feel that way about you

⇶ He told you’d he’d change in a heartbeat, just say the word, and he would if it meant you wouldn’t leave him

⇶ But you left anyways, and to say that it crushed Katsuki would be an understatement

⇶ Between dying and admitting that he cried his eyes out for a week straight every night, he’d much rather die

⇶ Katsuki got his act together that same week, hoping that this was just something the two of you could move past if it was quickly resolved

⇶ He wouldn’t even call anyone an extra, or refer to Izuku as “Deku”, and everytime that he’d literally bite his tongue to keep him from doing so, he’d glance in your direction hoping that you were giving him a look of approval

⇶ But you hardly looked at him anymore, and when you did it wouldn’t even last a second

⇶ And his blood boiled when you moved onto someone else a few months later

⇶ You weren’t even dating the person, just casual back and forth flirting and talking

⇶ But it made Katsuki sick to even think of you with someone else

⇶ When you were dating, he always “joked” about how he wouldn’t want you to move on and be happy with someone else if he died while the two of you were together

⇶ But he wasn’t joking, and he doesn’t you to be happy with anyone else if he’s dead or alive, to be honest

⇶ Of course, he wants you to be happy and healthy and hopes you get all the good things you deserve… just not in a relationship sense when it’s not with him.

⇶ He acted like none of it bothered him, but it did

⇶ Katsuki wasn’t going to go as far as harassing you and your new partner. He’s thought about it, of course, but he knew that wouldn’t win you back

⇶ He also wasn’t going to go around with other people to get you back either, because that definitely wouldn’t work.

⇶ Not only would it not work, but Katsuki just isn’t the type to get around with people in general

⇶ He’s selective with who he gives his time to, and when he’s emotionally invested in something or someone, he goes all in, so he’d really hate to waste his own energy like that

⇶ Someway, somehow, despite being the one that got broken up with, his ego inflated even more when you left him

⇶ Sure he cleaned up his act, but that didn’t change the fact that he was a cocky asshole

⇶ When he first sees you with your new fling, he wanted to throw up at first, but eventually he got over it because in his head, you’ll never find anyone better

⇶ And he wasn’t totally wrong about that either

⇶ If anyone ever asked you, you don’t think you could even remotely lie and say that he treated you poorly in any way

⇶ Sure, you had your moments like any couple, but truthfully, he set a very high standard for your future partners

⇶ Katsuki always paid for everything, took you places, amazing dates (even if they usually weren’t expensive, because he knows the experience counts over everything), attentive to all your needs, never forgot important days, hardly even raised his voice at you despite his rough demeanor, and even more that you could go on about forever

⇶ He was an amazing boyfriend, really. So much so that even you weren’t sure if you’d find someone better

⇶ He might not actually do anything, but he will most definitely talk shit about your new little thing to Kirishima and the bakusquad

⇶ You expect that from him, but when Sero and Mina told what all he was saying (not to be snitches for fake, just to let you know that he’s going a bit crazy without you), you were honestly a bit shocked at how far he was going

⇶ They went from being Katsuki’s normal hater-ass comments to just nitpicky and spiteful

“Damn, did you see what the fuck they had on, I feel bad that Y/n even has to walk around with that.”

“That motherfucker seriously brought them _? Y/n hates that shit, it’ll be no fuckin’ surprise if they leave that loser.”

⇶ And while he won’t actively try to force himself back into your life, he can and will take every opportunity that will even slightly worm him back in

⇶ Opportunities usually present themselves in the form of group work, when the teacher still habitually places you two in the same group because they still think you’re together

⇶ And don’t let it be a project that’s just for a pair, because then he’ll LEAP for that chance

⇶ Even though there’s tension between you, for obvious reasons, you don’t feel awkward being alone with him. Even after months of hardly even looking at him

⇶ Katsuki is the type of ex you’ll always feel comfortable around, because he’ll always keep a special place for you in his heart

⇶ Still looks at you with pure adoration, even if he wants to gouge his eyes out with a spork when your new talking stage flashes you a smile across the library you’re working in

⇶ Still pays for everything, like the coffee and snacks you go get on your break, even if you insist that you can pay on your own. Granted, you’re much more angry about it this time around than giggly like before

⇶ Still takes you to one of your favorite hangout spots, even though the sweet memories you share there make both of your chests hurt now

⇶ Still calls you beautiful, gorgeous, pretty, his baby, angel, doll, etc even if you aggressively tell him to stop. And he does, he tries to at least, but it’s still so second nature to him that it just slips out like he never stopped using those names on you

⇶ Still asks how you’re feeling, how you’re really feeling, if you ate that day, drank enough water, even if you only grunt out short answers everytime

⇶ Eventually, he asks how you and “whatstheirface” are doing to cut through the thick silence

⇶ It catches you off guard, enough for you to raise your head up from your work to meet his eyes for the first time in forever

⇶ All you say is “We’re good”, but Katsuki knows better than that, he knows you better than that, and he chokes back a laugh at how much you suck at lying to him

⇶ All he says is “Y’know you can still come to me if you need anything?”, but you know better than that, you know yourself better than that

⇶ Because if you did talk to him more than you need to, you’d act on your urges to suffocate him with kisses and tell him you miss him, tell him that ‘whatstheirname’ isn’t jack shit compared to him, ask him if it’s too late to come back

⇶ You ask him if he’s talking to someone and he looks at you with adoring eyes, and shakes his head, leading you both back to an uncomfortable silence

⇶ Katsuki thought about telling you that he still loves you, that he misses you, to tell whatstheirname to fuck off, and so much more

⇶ Hell, for a split second he thought about begging again

⇶ The thing about Katsuki is, since he doesn’t like to use his precious time and energy on just anyone, when he views people in a romantic light, he views them as someone he wants to spend the rest of his life with

⇶ Someone that’s his everything, the only person in the world to him, his one and only

⇶ You were his first partner ever, and he wanted you to be his first and last everything

⇶ Which is exactly why you still are to him

⇶ Or you still can be at least, if you came back he’d have no objections, and he doubts that you’d have any either

⇶ The only question is, will you come back?

—

Thank you for reading, comments and reblogs are appreciated 🫶🏾 !

[wlwanakin]

I absolutely agree that Anakin would’ve fallen sooner if he didn’t have Padmé by his side! She really brought out the best in him, and he felt the most happy with her which kept him together. Without her, he 1000% would’ve probably fell the minute Shmi died. Anakin having those visions of Padmé in ROTS really gave Palpatine the shortcut to his end goal. Otherwise Anakin would not have ever fallen, if he never saw those dreams.

BtwI loved your ship ask post! Do you have any other Anidala headcanons you could share with us? 👀 of course, no pressure if you don’t <3

yeah anakin’s constantly surrounded by people who view and treat him as Potentially Dangerous and padmé is pretty much the only person who isn’t doing that at all and she asserts his goodness more than anyone, and without her it’s like. if you treat someone like an atomic bomb consistently enough they’re going to start exploding. and without her all he’s got left is people who treat him like an atomic bomb. don’t see how anyone thinks that could end well.

and thank you!! i have so many headcanons so here are some lighthearted quick fire ones off the top of my head:

anakin loves affectionate biting. if a part of padmé that’s feasibly bitable is near his mouth he will bite it. he nibbles at her ear. he bites her shoulder. he chomps her hand. he bites her bottom lip when they kiss. padmé complains but she actually loves it and thinks it’s adorable and when he actually leaves a mark she’s like awww. after a while she just starts biting him back

padmé loves playing with anakin’s hair and if it is in her reach she’ll just start braiding it. doesn’t matter what else is happening. they could be having the most serious conversation in the world and there she is putting little braids in his hair. at a certain point anakin starts coming home with hairstyle requests and playing hairstylist becomes a way to kill an evening

tangential to this another fun thing they will do occasionally is doll anakin up bc he has literally never worn anything besides what is essentially his work uniform and anything else is like the most exciting thing ever and padmé thinks he looks so pretty in makeup

they shower together as much as they possibly can and part of that is shower sex but it’s mostly for the intimacy. they are allergic to not being close to each other of course they can’t be apart for a whole shower

in general they’re the clingiest people in the galaxy and when they’re home alone they are very rarely not putting their hands under each other’s clothes. and again this mostly not horny they really just would be skin to skin 24/7 if that were an option

mentioned this in the post you mentioned but i will reiterate that neither of them are particularly culinarily skilled but they love cooking together so much because it’s an excuse to be in close proximity for a few hours and sometimes they’ll even make something edible. win win! anakin is actually decent at cooking on his own but padmé’s presence is so distracting and her lack of skill is so great it brings them both down and that right there is true love

they don’t fight often but on the rare occasions they do it’s pretty explosive (mostly on anakin’s end) because anakin has Major Issues and this is quite literally the only non-hierarchical relationship he’s ever had, and in a way it’s also padmé’s but in the opposite direction because her only friends ever have been her employees, and boy oh boy can that collide in weird ways. and they resolve it fast enough but they always end up plagued by the fact that they can never fully understand each other because they’re spiritually clingy too and i think if they had it their way padmé would be able to read anakin’s mind and anakin would literally just merge with padmé into some eldritch being. and then they’d never fight again <3

tangentially their worst fights typically lead into their best fucks. they really cannot stay mad at each other at all they find it unbearable

that is broadly all i can think of for now but i definitely have more because i have unfortunately been plagued with star wars brainworms since i was in the seventh grade. i love anidala i love thinking about them i love talking about them i know them better than my own family at this point

[bomikalover]

Austin & Ally (Auslly) Dynamic Analysis

Hello Again!

A while back I posted an A&A Analysis in which I asked what other things you want me to yap about. Well, this Yap Session was asked by @filmmakerdreamst so I was eager to answer!

The last one was about Auslly having horrid parental supervision and just bad parents in general. Which you can read here:

But today, we are talking about the Auslly Dynamic as a whole and in each season specifically in order to truly gauge why Austin and Ally have such a strong bond that any singular other character duo can replicate.

Warning: This is LONGGGGG lol

SEASON ONE: THE BESTEST OF FRIENDS

Season One was pure platonic friendship and I love that. Of course, they had that episode where Austin thought Ally had a crush on him and flipped out, but that was only because he didn't want to ruin their friendship and partnership with silly feelings and crushes. They were comfortable being friends and both decided to keep it that way.

-

During the first season, Austin time and time again makes mistakes that in other shows would cause episodes of drama and not get resolved till the end of the season. But Austin's respect for Ally and her feelings makes him think over his actions, realize that he did wrong, and handle the issue in a sweet and mature manner.

For Example, when Austin was continuously late and disrespectful of Ally's time, he got Ally a signed guitar by Bruno Mars (a favorite artist of Ally's) and gave her a planner to plan all the time she needed him since being her partner meant there was no more "Austin Time" but "Austin and Ally Time."

Another example is when the jealous blogger was ruining Austin's career because of Ally, yet he never blamed her. Even when threatened with never-ending blackmail he still chose Ally over his career. (Which he does all throughout the show which I will mention in other sections)

A Third Example, is Austin giving up his chance with the club owner at Trish's party to slow dance with Ally after getting rejected by Dallas (Ally's Crush in S1).

-

In S1 Ally had broken the personal boundaries and walls she had set up with everyone else for Austin and his career.

Like doing activities with Austin that she had never done with Trish. (The HorrerFest and doing a duo costume with Austin which led her to find out about Trish liking the Zaliens Franchise. Meaning she never went with Trish to any of these events before.)

Running onto a stage just to apologize to Austin even though she has extreme stage fright.

Also performing with him when Taylor Swift was injured.

Revealing how she had gotten stage fright in the first place in order to help him overcome his fears.

-

Season 1 was just the writer's way of selling their friendship to their audience. They weren't instantly friends, they had plenty of episodes of petty arguments and learning about each other to become as close as they were at the end of S1. It was realistic and fun to actually see them go from strangers to really close friends who entrusted secrets to each other. It was also refreshing to have Austin and Ally be opposites but have music be the thing that connects them. (Which I will give its own section at the end) Whether it be their parents' disbelief in their careers or just having someone to talk to who was at their professional musical level and truly understood music. Season One may not be the best season out of the four but it was extremely necessary for the realistic growth of auslly.

-

SEASON TWO: FRIENDS OR FEELINGS?

Season 2 is when things start to get interesting. Feelings were revealed, crushes were had, couples got together, people were jelly, and couples broke up. You could immediately see these two were WAY closer and their friendship has blossomed.

Austin realized his feelings after Ally but definitely had a harder time dealing with them than Ally. He gets with Kira Starr (daughter of the Owner of Starr Records - Jimmy Starr) after her bad breath is handled. (Kira Starr you deserved so much better as a character. I could write an analysis of her as well! Comment, if I should!) But when Ally starts to hang around an old camp buddy, Austin gets extremely jealous and Dez helps him realize his feelings for Ally. So after a lot of back and forth between Ally & Kira, Austin picks Kira....then kisses Ally...then dates Kira anyway. But after more back and forth, he breaks up with Kira and serenades Ally, resulting in them FINALLY getting together.

-

Ally realized her feelings before Austin while helping him go on the perfect date with Kira. Ally immediately pushes her feelings down and does the mature thing like always. She decides to focus on her career after Austin continues to unintentionally play with her feelings. Then finally gives in when Austin breaks up with Kira and sings a song she wrote about him to her since he feels the same way.

-

Though their relationship lasted one episode, I wasn't too mad. Once again, the writers are taking a more realistic approach and aren't making Auslly immediately a perfect couple with no faults. They are friends first and it showed this season more than last.

Austin was willing to give up his first magazine cover for Ally and Ally was willing to front flip off a building so that he wouldn't have to give it up.

Austin snuck out of his house to help Ally since he knew she was counting on him.

Austin tries to write his own songs since he is taking up the time Ally needs for her own career. (and his first successful song was about her.)

Austin gifts Ally priceless glass slippers which resulted in him carrying her for days since she couldn't walk in them. In the same episode, Ally helps Austin reinvent his childhood role model of a rock star's career.

Though they had a pretty big fight and realized that they had doubts about each other, they quickly made up and didn't let those past feelings control how they feel about each other now.

At the end of the season, they both agree it's better to be happy that both of their careers are taking off even if it's tearing them apart. This already shows growth from S1 Auslly who had the chance to be separated from each other (Ally going to NY for music school and Austin signing with another Manager and leaving team Austin) but chose each other over their careers.

Though they obviously have feelings for each other and both know that, they realize that if they truly loved and cared for each other...they needed to let each other go.

-

SEASON THREE: SEASON TWO BUT MORE COMPLICATED AND MORE ANNOYING.

Season 3 is a whirlwind of emotions. The first half of S3 is focused on Ally on the Austin Moon Tour and them in school WAY more often. (which makes no sense btw. A&A are both EXTREMELY popular teen idols yet they aren't bombarded every hall they turn down? Like how are paparazzi not at Sonic Boom or the beach they famously hang out at? If anything they should both be homeschooled or do online schooling. PLUS Ally was working at Sonic Boom, working on songs for her and Austin, doing school, attending all her clubs, doing all her other duties as an artist, was in committed relationships, AND finding time to hang out with her friends?! Give that girl an award..)

The second half is the part I didn't like. They did the same thing they did in S2 but with different love interests. Ally with Garett and Austin with Piper. Both relationships last like 2 maybe 3 episodes then get broken up since Auslly can't think of anyone else but each other lol.

They get together once again at prom and stay together till the end of the season. (They technically break up in the last episode but Austin professes his love in front of the whole world on live television and throws away his entire career for her so I think that means they are together lol)

Now Austin and Ally are officially a couple and the season ends with Austin joining Ally on her tour parallel to Ally joining Austin on his tour at the beginning of the season.

-

SEASON FOUR: MATURE SEMI ADULT AUSLLY

Season 4 is all fluff with very last-minute angst. Austin and Ally are finally together for good and it's a breath of fresh air. They help each other deal with their problems like Austin struggling about not being able to live out his passions and dreams. And Ally freaking out about her future and thinking she's not ready. Plus the constant problem of the two of them struggling to be a couple while being artists and now owning a factory together.

The overarching theme of Auslly blurring the lines between them as a couple and them as business partners and two extremely big names in the music industry is so intriguing to me. It was a slow buildup but S4 showed this buildup in its full intensity. Austin was so conflicted about being upset and saddened for himself but still extremely happy and supportive of his girlfriend that he was having nightmares of Ally living his dreams and leaving him behind. Also insecure about Ally going to Harvard and leaving him for a smarter man.

But Ally constantly reminds him that she loves him for him and only him which calms him every time.

But as always, good things always come to an end...Austin & Ally break up.

AND DON'T TALK FOR 4 YEARS!

Austin got back his career and Ally decided to go to college while still being a musician so they didn't have any time for each other. That distance took a toil and ended in them leaving each other's sides for a while. But with a little conniving from Trish and Dez, they were brought back together and realized that they never stopped loving each other. But the two of them still question how to be a couple when they're constantly competing against each other and being dragged away from each other. But then Austin had the bright idea of just becoming a singing duo instead of going head to head as competing artists for the rest of their lives.

That ends up being the right move and they live happily ever after with their two kiddos and music factory/museum.

-

This was my stupid long dynamic analysis but I'm not done.

I also want to more intently explain why Austin and Ally are so close.

...and the answer is music.

I know what you are thinking, no duh...that's like the whole show premise but I'm digging into it deeper.

Remember in my earlier post I mentioned Auslly writing their songs about each other like no one else is there for them like each other?

I believe if A&A were on a more mature network, we would see the straight pressure and anxiety these two felt while being in the industry so young. Like, think about it...Austin and Ally were 14-15 when Austin went viral and Ally became his songwriter. Then Ally was around 15-16 when her personal career went off. They were absolute BABIES! With little to no support from their families, friends who could never fully grasp the amount of pressure they were under, and the entertainment industry watching their every move. Trish and Dez both play parts that are behind the scene (Manager and Director) and allow them to still keep their youths to themself instead of the youth being taken away from them like Auslly.

Austin was on a full-blown multi-city and state tour at 16!?

Ally was doing the same at 16-17...

in NYC performing Times Square BY THEMSELVES

Like literal children.

look at some of the lyrics these kids wrote about each other...

Parachute - Ally - Her First Album

"I remember life before

Faraway dreams and locking doors

Then you came, then you came

Afraid to fall, to be free

Always my own worst enemy

Isn't what, what you see

I took time to realize

That I couldn't do it by myself, myself

There's no gravity

when you're next to me

You will always break my

fall, like a parachute

When you're holding me so

weightless I can barely breathe

You will always break my fall, my fall

Like a parachute

You're my parachute"

LIKE? IM SORRY?

(Pls listen to the whole song and read all the lyrics cause it's really deep and emotional.)

here is Austin talking about Ally...

Austin - Stuck On You - Austin gets over stage fright by only looking at Ally

"So, I'm singing all the words I'm scared to say, yeah So, forgive me if I'm doing this all wrong I'm trying my best in this song To tell you, what can I do? I'm stuck on you I'm hoping, you feel what I do 'Cause I told Mom about you I told her, what can I do? I'm stuck on you

And like the nightsticks to the moon Girl, I'm stuck on you"

(Austin's isn't as deep and sad as Ally's but that is the character difference.)

But either way, the song is extremely sweet and endearing.

And this is only 2 songs out of 4 seasons worth of dedicated songs to each other. There was never a single song dedicated to their families only a couple for their friends but never as deep and descriptive as this. I think I can safely say that Austin and Ally were each other's safe places and utter sanctuary. It makes sense why their hugs were so long and their simple glances turned to deep gazes. They were each other's home...a place of peace.

Austin and Ally grew up with parents who gave up on their dreams, settled, and expected them to do the same. To work in the family business and forget their dreams since they had a one-in-a-billion chance of making it. No one fully understood how hard they worked and how much it hurt to have no one on their side.

No one but each other.

Trish never had the work effort that Ally had or the ability to not like having attention on her like Ally hated.

Dez never cared about being the one on camera like Austin or cared about what the public thought about him like Austin constantly did.

Even their best friends could never fully grasp their dilemma.

No one understands Austin like Ally.

And no one understands Ally like Austin.

It makes sense...they were two in a million.

-

OK, THAT WAS SO LONG I AM SO SORRY.

But I love sharing my brain thoughts with you all so I'd gladly do more. Just give me recs in the comments even if they aren't A&A related.

This is the second yap session of this new series so you can always find this by the hashtag I put on each one...

#Yappin' with Shy

maybe next time I talk about the secret romance between Austin and Dez/Ally and Kira, or how Trish can be an aro-ace, or how Ally's dad's money problems root to something deeper than just being cheap.

But that’s a yapper-sation for another time - Shy

[zoe-oneesama]

ONE MORE EPISODE LEFT TO WRITE! CONGRATULATIONS!! 🎉🎊 Based on everything we’ve seen up to this point in-show, what are your thoughts on Nathalie, her Catalyst akuma and Mayura villain persona, and the Heroes’ Day Season 2 two-parter after your fresh rewatch of the episodes?

I'll be watching both parts at once, but since I'll probably have to rewatch part 2: "Mayura" when I finish my own part 1, I'll mostly focus on Part 1: "Catalyst", with some bleed in from Part 2. I'll be taking a linear critique of the episode in a stream of consciousness way.

To start, "Heroes' Day" is not a real French holiday, yet Marinette's parents say it's come again "just like every year", implying that this has been going on for multiple years? Implying that a Hero Day based off your local superheroes have been happening for YEARS while Marinette and Adrien are in the same class, in the same school year....make it make sense.

Of course, this could be a totally in universe regular holiday that USED to be about just doing good deeds for a day that they adopted to theme around their superheroes, what do I know.

About those good deeds...Marinette deserves slack here. She does good deeds for her friends all the freaking time, but the first part of the two episodes puts a lot of pressure for her to not only do a Good Deed but a Good Enough Good Deed, which to me defeats the purpose of a good deed. You're supposed to do good deeds for the sake of being kind and improving the world, not for...recognition. Or maybe they're being graded...

This feels like a dropped plot line, which is a shame because this was actually a decent lesson for Marinette for once about taking on too much and pressuring herself. Except for Chloe, Marinette is the only person demanding Marinette do a Good Enough Deed, to the point of making a promise she couldn't keep. (Though it's dumb she feels pressured thanks to CHLOE of all people, when all the richest girl in Paris is offering is her own autographs). Yet they only go part way and nearly completely drop this plot line in the second half.

You know, instead of that scene of Adrien meeting Marinette on the steps and assuming he's not invited, they could've used that time for Marinette to admit to Adrien that she panicked and is struggling to keep to her word. Marinette could've actually confided in Adrien, showing their friendship by allowing her to be vulnerable with him about how she was feeling inadequate compared to everyone else and how these feelings spurred her into trouble. This also would've been a great lead in for the end of the two parter:

In Part 2, the picnic/taste testing that Marinette promised but had no time for? It still happens. How? According to Adrien at the end of his speech, the class "jumped at the chance to help". Would've been nice to see any of that, or see any REAL conclusion to Marinette's issue in these episodes, which was putting too much pressure on herself and not telling the truth when it became overwhelming. Even her mom tells her that bravely admitting when you've messed up is heroic, but...Marinette never tells anyone.

On screen anyway.

By having Marinette tell Adrien, Adrien could've rounded up the class to make the picnic happen. And Marinette should've been distraught - this was supposed to be HER good deed yet THEY did all the work! She failed! And then the class disagrees. She does good deeds all the time! Checking in on Ivan after he was an akuma! Breaking Juleka's picture curse! Bringing Marc and Nathaniel together! A single day can't compare to the number of things she's done for everyone here! And now it's their turn to do something for her!

And then she's brought to tears and kisses his cheek in thanks blah blah blah you've seen canon. Instead it's treated as a "oh yeah, we did that thing with Marinette in the first part, uhhh, that's resolved now, okay?" What a waste.

Actually I'm sure this is a completely dropped plot line because Adrien says "Like Rose said earlier" when she didn't say anything.

Where were we? Oh right, Lila's first sighting in a whole season.

Alya here says Marinette is jealous of Lila for trying to hit on Adrien (or in the French, "seduce"~ lol). I'd just like Alya to remember that for later when she actually believes Lila when she says she doesn't have feelings for Adrien, but we all know continuity doesn't live here.

Speaking of, I'm not surprised how many salt fics paint Lila's (first) mom as an idiot. Right after Lila tells her mom that Principal Damocles is also stuck as an akuma thanks to Ladybug's "incompetence", a giant floating balloon of Ladybug floats past her bedroom window.

Woman, how you gonna believe that Paris' heroes are incompetent on the word of your daughter while Paris throws a Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade in her honor? (I also assume this woman doesn't talk to anyone other than Lila despite apparently being out of the house so often that they don't even share breakfast together. Sure ZAG.) But at least I get to enjoy Gabriel deliberately poking the bear by bringing up Volpina when she was completely and utterly irrelevant. That did in fact make me laugh.

Oh, this is something that I only just put together, but Alya says her good deed was going to the Mayor and getting him to sign off on making the school accessible for disabled students, and we see in this episode on-wards that the school has a ramp. I HAD noticed the ramp in Season 3, but I had completely forgotten that Alya talked about it here at the end of Season 2. So, wow! Good continuity detail, Zag! You get one gold star. ⭐

(though that ramp is hella steep)

I was about to also praise the continuity of Gabriel bringing up financing a Ladybug movie, since that seemed to be setting up "Animaestro"...but then he says it's playing that day (on EVERY tv channel?!). But..."Animaestro" was the movie's premiere...So I guess there's another in universe Ladybug movie ( funded by a fashion director?) that we'll never see. U_U

Damn, I was gonna point out the nepotism of hiring your primary sponsor's son to voice act the male lead, but I guess I can't anymore, bummer 😗

I do make a mental note of the things Lila is calling Ladybug as she's cycling through news coverage. "Liar. Traitor. Coward." Just...interesting. Where did Ladybug lie? Where did Ladybug betray Lila? Where did she run and hide? Interesting, interesting, interesting.

And betrayals only happen when there's trust between you, in order for Ladybug to "betray" Lila she would've had to have Lila's trust or loyalty to begin with.

Even here she didn't accept the akuma as willingly as she did in "Chameleon", but she still greeted Hawkmoth like an old friend, and is DELIGHTED to ruin everyone's Heroes' Day and traumatize them with her illusion for a chance to help Hawkmoth succeed, just to get back at Ladybug. Yikes.

Lmao, not the unfinished png photoshop background on the flute. Great quality check, guys.

I do think this is the first time I actually thought Hawkmoth did something smart. After putting all his eggs in the Audrey/Style Queen basket and then handing the basket to Chloe/Queen Wasp, I wasn't too impressed with him, but this plan was actually good. (I mean it should've PARTIALLY fallen apart once people saw both the Unakumatized Ladybug AND Chat Noir now that we know people can reject their akumas, but sure. We didn't know it at THIS point, so it seems smart.)

But all this energy could've just been channeled into making the ultimate doctor akuma. I mean, you literally made a Miraculous Holder Power Booster with Catalyst, so I'm just saying what we've all been saying~

"I know, it wouldn't be very heroic to use my powers on my personal business" - GIRL at this point YOU'VE EARNED IT, SCREW what Tikki says!

This does make it the second time someone's told Marinette to just come clean to her friends. Why did they drop this plot line after pushing it so hard?!?!?!

"You don't have enough cake for me, do you?" Sir, did you pull a muscle with that leap?! I guess the intention of this scene was that Marinette was ABOUT to come clean to her friends but Adrien's excitement put the pressure for her to pull off the picnic back on. Again, there is no solid conclusion for this part of the story, Marinette just festers on it until there's akuma stuff to deal with. Wait, maybe the mass akuma outbreak is how she really got out of it... "Sorry guys I TOTALLY had this whole thing planned, but, you know. Akumas. Lots of them. Couldn't do it."

How satisfying. 🙃

"Heroes' Day is now...meaningless!" This is like in Christmas movies when people say Christmas is RUINED because a tree caught fire or Santa didn't come. Did the Whos in Whoville teach you nothing, that's the not the true meaning of Christmas and Superheroes are not the true meaning of Heroes Day when you set it up as a reoccurring holiday where people go the extra mile to be kind to one another!

Sorry, this is nit picky, like really nit picky, but don't create a fictional holiday that's about joy and kindness and then "ruin" it by something only tangentially related. I know it's totally just to get the plot going forward, but I'm too old and have seen this too many times (mostly in Christmas media) and it starts to grate on you. Just make the holiday a new one in tribute TO the heroes, then it can be ruined by the heroes turning bad, otherwise you're killing your message about the Everyday Heroes doing Good Deeds to Keep the World a Kind and Happy Place by putting all the weight on the SUPERNATURAL EXTRAORDINARY FIGURES THAT NORMAL HUMANS COULD NEVER COMPARE TO!

*huff huff*

So...Sabrina should know what's up with Lila at least a little, right? Since Ladybug firmly believes Volpina was involved, right? Well, based off some spoilers, MAYBE (strong maybe, this is speculation entirely), Sabrina might finally be using this knowledge. You know, 3 Seasons later. Maybe. They've been doing pretty decent at pulling stuff from earlier seasons, even if it DOES feel too little too late, so it's possible that Sabrina will FINALLY remember this moment with Ladybug.

"You're Rena Rouge and you didn't tell me?!" You didn't tell her you were Carapace either, but I see this is where it freaking starts with you young man. I remember this being a funny moment but hindsight has ruined it, so, thanks for that "Rocketear". 🙃

See, THESE are the Adrien/Chloe moments that I wanted: annoying sibling energy 100%. But alas, this is ALSO ruined. Chloe is calling it her Miraculous, give me MY Miraculous, putting down Chat Noir as Ladybug's "underling". This was never going to work.

Wow, Nora totally nailed it: "If he's talking to Ladybug, then Ladybug and Mr. Whiskers are still on the good side!" I thought she was supposed to be the dumb one?

Anyway, that's part 1 (or at least most of what I have to say about it). As a stand alone, this feels like a huge lead up, which I think gets mostly paid off on the akuma side of things...and definitely not on the Marinette side of things. Wah wah.

I don't have many feelings on Nathalie, Catalyst, or Mayura since they're barely in the first part (or not in it lol) and when she is in it she feels very OOC - smiling a lot, shy glances to the side, all in to go full Team Rocket with Hawkmoth. Up until now she's been so peripheral that seeing her main stage (though again, just barely) is so jarring.

Well, we'll see her "shine" in the next part I guess.

[utilitycaster]

One of my least favorite types of post in fandom, particularly for actual play, is the "why isn't everyone dropping everything to focus on my blorbo's mental state," and I wanted to talk about why.

The most obvious surface reason, of course, is that unless you are watching something with a very clear single protagonist and that is the character you're talking about, and the story is explicitly about people helping them heal, this is simply not a thing that's likely to happen in most works. It doesn't mean you can't want it; but that want is best explored and expressed through transformative works rather than trying to get the "let's watch blorbo carefully work through every trauma they have" blood from of the narrative stone. (I'll admit my own interest in such works is very limited, but that shouldn't stop you.)

But even when that is the stated purpose, that's just not the sort of story I'm drawn to. It feels too artificial and dishonest to the human experience, and leaves a strange taste in my mouth. I think it derives from a set of intertwined fantasies this represents, and they are admittedly a very seductive pair of lies.

One is the idea that there will come a time, amid seemingly insurmountable external challenges, when everything can pause and during that magical lull all will be resolved. It's the "this weekend I'll get my life together" fallacy. The truth is that this stoppage almost never happens, and in the cases when it does it is rarely a gentle hold, but rather a screeching involuntary halt. The fix is often not enough to truly fix, but rather just enough to get one moving again before being thrust back into the unceasing world. It's magical thinking, of a magic that even fantasy worlds (perhaps especially heroic fantasy worlds, where all the stakes are impossibly heightened) cannot provide: that the world will stop turning long enough for a complete fix, and that a complete fix is even possible or attainable, and that it will not require any ongoing work to maintain once the world has started up again.

The second is the fantasy of being understood without effort: that this quiet period will come without you needing to speak up and say "stop". That your walls will be broken with no contribution from within; that someone else will do all the work and love you despite that. And why not? As anyone who has dealt with any sort of mental health issue knows, it is exhausting. Wouldn't it be nice if someone else just...knew exactly where to place the leverage to pop you out of that rut as you sat unmoving?

It would be! It's also not going to happen.

I am, despite what I say, not against projecting on characters. That's what characters are for. I'm just not particularly interested in seeing characters who get what I sometimes want and know pretty much no one can have. I want to watch characters experience what I might, and succeed, but I do need the struggle to be as real for them as it is for me. I want the character to be in the same hole and know how to get out because they've been here before, not turn to me and shrug and say "honestly, everything went great for me - you're on your own, pal" and levitate out.

There's much more to it too - I love character dynamics, and so the idea of everyone else fading to flat grayscale tools to help one character is uniquely unappetizing. I also find a lot of the discussions surrounding this sort of premise believe that this magical fixing also occurs without anyone ever saying anything even remotely challenging to the person being helped. It really is just essentially reduced to a flavorless hand waving a magic wand over the character in question, which makes for a very short and bad story.

There are other fantasies too, all tied up in this, and all both understandable to have and tedious to watch, most notably the ideas that suffering is purification and that the blorbo who needs help is eternally blameless and never complicit in either their own pain and their actions towards others; and that give and take (and on a meta level, focus within a story) are easily and meaningfully quantifiable and are required to be kept in some cosmic balance (usually one rather heavily tilted towards a fan's favorite character) for a story to be good.

The question ultimately needs to not be "when will everything stop and center and therapize and fix the character I most relate to" but rather "will this character's traumas and issues and past be explored in any meaningful way during the narrative, or, if they are not, will the fact that they are not explored carry its own weight." Ironically, the stop/fix/magic wand wave away fantasy does away with any possibility of meaningful exploration, and that's really why I can't fucking stand it.

[imeanitplsmorenamifics]

hi! i don’t know how asks work very well so i’m like eyeballing it here but if you could do too sweet with sanji that be so kind thanks 🙏

Hi! You're doing it perfectly fine, don't worry! Of course I can do Too Sweet with Sanji for you! This came across as more of a headcanon post to me so I hope you don't mind that. If so, message me and I can rewrite it. Either way, I hope you enjoy it! This is set for when Sanji was at the Baratie still. You can find my Flower Asks here, Hozier Asks here, and my Taylor Swift Asks here. You can find my masterlist here and my rules here. And you can request here! Too Sweet: The two of you are vastly different. It makes things a little difficult at times. Characters: Sanji, GN!Reader Pairings: Sanji x GN!Reader TW: None that I can think of!

Too Sweet

.·:·.✧ ✦✧.·:·.

Opposites attract is something you hear about relationships. This couldn’t be more right with you and Sanji.

The two of you were polar opposites in every sense of the phrase. He was very outgoing, flirty, charming, and what could be described as the life of the party. You were the opposite of that. You were very introverted, you couldn’t flirt to save your life, you were sure you were devoid of any charm, and you were the one to avoid a party. To say that this caused some challenges would be an understatement.

Sanji was the first one up in the morning to go to his shift at the Baratie and the last one to get in at night because of him staying longer to attend a party at the bar. You were the last one up, seeing as your shift started later, and the first one in since you didn’t really stick around once your job was over. The only time you really had to spend with the other was when you both had a day off.

You tried to do the things Sanji did. You tried to go to parties after work. You tried to meet more new people. You tried to do the whole outgoing thing but it just wasn’t what you were good at. At every party, you were in the corner of the boat, wanting to disappear while Sanji was off dancing or drinking his weight in alcohol. You had awkward conversations and it always made you feel like an idiot afterward for even trying.

And it was the same for Sanji. Sanji tried to stop staying out so late every once in a while to spend time at home with you. He tried to just have the day be you and him, no one else. No distractions. But he couldn’t do it either. It made him feel like he was being tied down. It made him antsy. He couldn’t sit inside all day. He needed to get out and interact with people. You didn’t.

This caused a few arguments here and there. You argued that he never stayed home enough and he argued that you never go out with him. It was an ongoing cycle that felt like it would never be solved. It rarely ever was solved. The conversation always ended with the two of you avoiding the topic and acting like it never happened.

It made people wonder how you were even together at times. What made you both, polar opposites, actually get together in the first place? The answer was simple.

You balanced each other out very well. You played to the others strengths and weaknesses. If you were lacking in one area, Sanji would fill that void so you could work more efficiently. It was the same for Sanji. Where he lacked, you provided the necessary support.

The only problem you had before this was at the start of the relationship. You were the type to want to move things slow. You wanted to truly know a person before you jumped into anything. Sanji had a hard time with this. Sure, he would wait for you for however long he needed to but he wondered when you would be ready because it felt like it would be forever until that day finally came. This problem slowly resolved itself over time. It just took time. Maybe this will too.

Either way, there were still times it was hard for you to function in the relationship because of the stark contrast in personalities. This stemmed from underlying issues.

Sanji felt like you didn’t need him at times. You were always so independent. You relied on yourself to the point you didn’t need help from anyone. You didn’t require human interaction to function. You could sit in your own silence and be comfortable with it. It felt like if he was removed from your life, you wouldn’t even notice.

Then there was you. While Sanji felt like you didn’t need him, you felt like you held him back and like you weren’t enough for him at times. You always got onto him about staying out late, something he enjoyed. You could tell it irritated him when you argued with him about it. You knew that he was doing something he enjoyed, but he was almost never home to spend time with you. It made you feel like he was more comfortable around complete strangers than his own partner. You felt like you didn’t give him enough.

It frustrated the two of you so much.

You felt like he was too sweet for you and he felt like he wasn’t savory enough for you.

[ohifonlyx33]

So so so much to love about Love Next Door.

Its a story about a boy falling in love with his best friend, it's a story about a girl fighting her struggles and finding her path in life, it's about families coming to heal and support each other, its about friendship, its about finding your own family when you've lost your own... it's about being open and honest, about giving and receiving love, about overcoming pride or shame and just letting people see the parts of you you want to hide so you can share your burdens.

The entire cast had so much chemistry as friends, family, and romantic partners. The drama, with a few notable exceptions, felt natural. The episode 8 plot twist especially revealed a darker layer I honestly wasn't expecting, but it added so much. I liked the main couple and the secondary couple both. The parents were all mostly interesting and fun (although probably at least a little bit on the abusive side). Even these kids cracked me up and stole the show...

But I do take a few issues with it.

It's just a little annoying because I know with a few small tweaks here and there these issues could be resolved.

One being the fact that it didn't know how to end, which is a common problem with a simple romance and family drama. I literally went "what wait that's it?? That's the end?" Because I thought there had to be at least 15 minutes left for SOMETHING. But no, they actually decided to go for the fast-forward time jump... but for what?

We don't even see the main couple get married. Which, I WOULD BE TOTALLY FINE WITH.... trust me, the wedding episodes often make me cringe. Except, why have the flash forward at all, if nothing happens *after* the flash forward?

We could have set up another small dramatic hurdle for the main couple instead in the last 2 or 3 episodes... (I personally would have gone with the "do you want kids?"/"yeah, I think that'd be nice... do you?"/"yeah maybe...but what if I can't have them because cancer is high risk?"/"then that's ok too" route then to flash forward to them at Kang Dan-ho and Jung Mo-Eum's wedding 1.5 years later, with a little baby girl. 🥺

It definitely feels like the only reason we didn't see either of the main couples get married was because they wanted to be "different" by leaving it open... and AGAIN... I am fine with avoiding all the slow, sappy, overly-the-top clichés and pacing pitfalls of the wedding episode. but tbh, the last episode was just as slow and clichéd as any "wedding episode" just without the main couple getting married.

Don't get me wrong I liked seeing Choi Seung-hyo's parents renew their vows... but it was not something I NEEDED to see.

Another thing is the balance in the main couple... occasionally it felt off.

Now overall, I did feel like the main couple were a great fit, well-balanced and suited for each other... truly I loved them most of the time... but I just wish we had seen more of how Bae Seok Ryu came to terms with her feelings for Choi Seung-hyo or seen from her POV how she avoided developing them as a kid, the same way we clearly saw Choi Seung-hyo pushing his feelings away.

We saw poor Choi Syeung-hyo agonize over his feelings for about a dozen episodes and then struggle waiting for Bae Seok Ryu... but then we spent so long learning about how Bae Seok Ryu and her ex-fiance were actually a decent, happy couple... and the show refused to show more than 2 minutes of why they broke up or fell out of love. They easily could have had a QoT style Kdrama of their own about how they get back together, etc.

at least with Choi Seung-hyo's ex gf, we saw that they both moved on pretty easily without much attachment because really they were never that serious or special... it had been a while and they were both over it too. But with her ex-fiance, it was still a recent break up of an otherwise-strong relationship. So it seemed like they could have done more to convince us they had enough reasons to break up... like IDK when she stopped loving her ex and started loving Choi Seung-hyo because it's rushed and unclear what she is feeling... I also did not like that her ex pointed out that it looked like she'd already found someone when she herself had not come to that conclusion with any certainty.

I guess I just feel like all her thoughts and feelings about Choi Seung-Hyo were often hidden. Maybe to make the viewer feel suspense... but even after they got together, it felt like he told her how he felt and she avoided it. Then a few petty fights and a talk or two later she just agreed that she did like him after he convinced her... and when she ran to find him, even then—still—HE kissed her. And she's left to mutter about banana milk.

She does show her love for him later, and expresses it clearly. But even later, he proposes on a whim, before anyone even knows they're dating, and she rejects his proposal... and then immediately caves in after he convinces her... the whole timing does feel off. But it also just feels like we see the relationship more from his perspective than hers.

Like the romance is HIS plot line and the cancer is hers.

Then there's the brother... he didn't do much, his plot went nowhere, and I really only liked the scenes that brought out the contrast between his failures and Bae Seok Ryu's successes....

Then there's the way they set up Jung Mo-Eum and Kang Dan-Ho... it was a little forced, especially with her immediate (and a little bit creepy) interest in Yeon-Du and the whole "Mudflat Man" which was maybe taken a little too far. But I loved their family dynamic and their chemistry.. Just felt like their love story was a little underdeveloped... And really sending Jung Mo-Eum off to Antarctica for a year, right after they stared dating, and not even seeing her reunite with Dan Ho was not my favorite.

[ltwharfy]

Long Post of Random Thoughts on Finishing "Gravity Falls"

Are you interested in reading a really long post where a middle-aged guy talks about a children’s cartoon that ended seven years ago? If so, you are in luck! I just finished watching “Gravity Falls” y’all! And here are a bunch of totally random thoughts about it:

-“I’ll have you know Duck-tective has a big mystery element! And a lot of humor that goes over kids’ heads!”- it was nice that the kids show that I became obsessed with over the past two months or so acknowledged the reasons adults might get obsessed with it. Also, Duck-tective has to be one of my favorite show-within-a-show premises. I’d definitely check it out!

-While I do love the humor of the show so much, it is really the mystery element- the ongoing story arc- that took me by surprise and eventually led to me bingeing the last eight episodes or so in one day. I just don’t remember animated kids comedies- or really, many kids shows of any type-when I was growing up that had ongoing story arcs like that. Kids shows where the episodes could be watched in any order and everything was always “back to normal” at the beginning of the next episode was the norm.

-I’ve been a fan of Kristen Schaal since she was on The Daily Show and eventually end up watching everything she’s in. So, the main thing I knew about Gravity Falls going into it was “Kristen Schaal does the voice of that girl”. As Louise Belcher is one of my favorite TV characters, I was worried- would I be able to forget about Louise while hearing Mabel? Yes, quite easily. Their personalities are so different! It was basically never an issue. I actually tried to listen for Mabel lines that sounded like Louise might say them and really only ended up with two that stuck out to me (“I high-five hard.” and “I AM THE GOD OF DESTRUCTION!”)

-Oh, but Louise would also want a grappling hook. And, honestly, she’d get as much or more use of it than Mabel did. Like I can think of a few episodes (and the movie…) where it could’ve been helpful. But I digress.

-One final Bob’s Burgers related point, there were a few things in season two that I just couldn’t help but wonder if they were references to Bob’s Burgers. First, the Jersey Shore hometown of Stan and Ford definitely made me think of Seymour’s Bay. And the Pines briefly have a burger phone in “The Stan-Churian Candidate”! On the other hand, both Jersey Shore towns and burger phones are real things that existed well before Bob’s Burgers and not every appearance of them is a reference to it. (But when you’ve also got Kristen Schaal involved…)

-And speaking of cast members who I remembered from other things, both Dipper and Wendy were voiced by actors from short-lived early 00s shows that I loved: Joan of Arcadia’s Jason Ritter and Freaks and Geeks’s Linda Cardellini. The fact that I will associate them with those shows is another indication that I am not in the target demographic of Gravity Falls! But, honestly, if I had known Linda Cardellini was also in this show, I might have checked it out sooner.

-And speaking of Dipper and Wendy, I really loved how they handled Dipper’s crush on her in season two. Their scene together at the end of “Into the Bunker” is so sweet, it just made me feel so much affection for both the characters and the folks who make the show. It would’ve been so easy to never really make any effort to resolve that plotline and instead just always have Dipper pathetically crushing on her for the whole show. Or make it a nerdy boy wish-fulfillment thing and have her actually return his feelings (which just wouldn’t’ve been realistic given their ages). Instead, I feel like they addressed it in a realistic and sensitive way, which was nice.

-Another thing I really appreciated was how they developed some of the supporting characters in season 2, particularly Old Man McGucket and Pacifica Northwest. I enjoyed those characters in season one, but pretty much assumed they would always stay in their stock character roles- crazy old man and mean rich girl, respectively. Instead, McGucket gets what I found to be some of the most moving scenes in the show- when he gets his memories back and when he reunites with Ford.

-And Pacifica! She’s honestly the character I find myself wondering the most about what happens to them after the show. She’s realized her family has been pretty horrible for generations. She stood up to her parents. Her family lost some of their money and had to sell their mansion (her dad pledging allegiance to Bill and investing in weirdness bonds is probably one of my favorite details from the finale). She’s becoming a teenager. And she lives in Gravity Falls full time. I just think her post-series finale life is gonna be pretty fascinating!

-And maybe that life will involve her getting romantically involved with Dipper? Yeah, I started shipping that after “Northwest Mansion Mystery”, and even though the show really didn’t give them any scenes together (which is understandable, there was a lot of other stuff going on) I still like it. I checked to see if there was fic about it on AO3 and immediately got freaked out because there is so dang much of it! Seriously, the number of Dipper/Pacifica fics on there is literally ten times the number of fics for my favorite Bob’s Burgers ship! What am I supposed to do with that?!

-So if the statement, “I’m looking for the ‘Be My Thrill’/’heaven help the fool who falls in love’ of Dipper/Pacifica fics” means something to you, and you have a recommendation, let me know.

-One supporting character I wish had been introduced earlier: Tad Strange, the most normal person in town. The name, the character design, the voice, all just amused me. It would’ve been fun if there was more of him.

-Speaking of supporting character designs that I loved: Toby Determined and his hat, with the press card that says “hat” instead of “press”. That literally always made me smile. I love it so much. It is one of my favorite cartoon character design details ever.

-Possibly the most random of observations: I can now think of four fictional characters named Mabel off the top of my head, but don’t think I’ve ever met anyone with that name in real life.

-I don’t have any kids of my own, but I do have a nephew, and now I am pretty excited about the possibility that I could be a Grunkle a few decades down the road. Hopefully, I’ll have my own Mystery Shack by then.

-Even though I know how the storyline ends now, I feel like this show has a high level of rewatchability for some point in the future. I’m sure there will be tons of details that I didn’t notice the first time around, and there are definitely more layers of it to peel back (I never paid attention to the codes/puzzles in the credits. Although, had I been watching this show when I was 10 I probably would’ve obsessed about them.)

-I can probably think of more things to say about this show and probably will, but this seems like enough for now. Thanks to Alex Hirsch and everyone involved in making the show for creating such wonderfully weird, hilarious, entertaining world! And thanks to you, person who actually read to the end of this post!

[moontheoretist]

The issue with what Jedi are doing here is that on the surface it looks like they're respecting the kids autonomy, desires and choices, but on the other hand they're also preying on the child's curiosity and thirst for the outside world to lure them into their Order. Osha wants to be a Jedi but only because they look cool and represent the outside that she craves to see so much. Mae on the other hand is satisfied with what she has in her home, she is not curious about the outside world at all. If the witches weren't hunted, Osha's dream may have come true, but because they were persecuted the isolation was for their own protection as well as children's, not to abuse the kids or isolate them from the outside world on purpose. If the witches were not hunted and still insisted on isolation then it'd be a bad thing to do, but in the circumstances they are now, it's understandable. And it's also what fuels Osha to want to leave them. She knows logically that they're hunted, but she never experienced it, so she doesn't truly understand why she has to hide when there is a vast new world outside that she wants to see. And Jedi are actively preying on this, while playing the good guys at the same time. Osha doesn't know who Jedi truly are and therefore she can't make an informed decision. She doesn't have any knowledge she can compare them against, other than what she was told in the coven. And even what she was told is not enough when not confronted with real life experience. She can't believe them to be bad like Mae does, because she never experienced it, and she refuses to believe the cautionary words of her coven without proof that they're legitimate. Normally that's a good quality not to believe what you are told, but when you have no way to check it and your only source of info are the people themselves who also at the same time have an agenda to recruit you, you will not end up with the objective view on the matter at all. To do so Osha would have to be exposed to far more than the coven or the Jedi alone, and only then she would be able to decide. Meanwhile she is just 8yo girl who is curious about the outside world, awed by the Jedi's novel appearance and beliefs. In this sense Jedi are only an excuse to leave the stuffy place she was suffocating in. They knowingly gave her an out that they knew she wanted. They presented her with a new path that she desperately wants to follow.

We can see that even her mother wants it to be Osha's choice. She doesn't want to force Osha to be someone she doesn't want to be like a good mother. But Mae doesn't understand it. She thinks they're the same and want the same. But they're different, like twins tend to be. They're not the same person, they are distinct and have different wants and desires. Mae doesn't get it and feels betrayed when Osha seeks her own autonomy, because she rejects Mae by doing so. But Mae does the very same. She rejects Osha every time she says they're the same. Both of them can't understand the other and that's the sort of conflict they should have resolved far earlier. And if they couldn't do so on their own, adults around them should have helped them to do so. But instead they were too focused on training them for Ascention to focus on what to them looked like petty squables between children rather than an existential issue that would affect them and the way they can actually work together to use the Thread. Resolving conflict like this should have been a major priority for the coven to ensure that they were on the same page before the Ascention. In this sense you could have said that the coven failed them. In turn their relationship slowly deteriorated. Osha was seeking individuality while constantly pressured by Mae to be the same as her because she believes they are, which in turn made Osha want to get out and seek freedom. And that was enough to a bunch of outsiders to gain a new Jedi initiate.

At the same time Osha's decision was something Mae couldn't take. As far as she was concerned they were one and should stay together, but Osha didn't want to and it hurt Mae. Mae then turned that hurt into anger. She became dominering and imposing, trying to assert dominance over Osha, whom she perceived as part of herself rebelling against her will, and when it didn't work she decided that it's better to have a dead sister than the one who chose to leave her behind. It's a scream for help if anything else. She didn't want to be alone. Couldn't handle to be left alone. But she also was unwilling to understand Osha and see where she was coming from, which lead to a disaster. In the end tho it was neither Mae's or coven's fault. Everything bad can be traced back to the Jedi of that era who trampled over others.

[sjsmith56]

Regret, Chapter 10 - Eyes of the Father

Summary: The person responsible for the play set makes themselves known. Lacey goes to the funeral of a family member but has to leave early when she is followed.

Length. 4.6 K

Characters: Lacey, Clint, Tony Stark, Phil Coulson, OCs (Lacey’s family)

Warnings: Emotional family issues get addressed.

Author notes: Bucky isn’t directly in this chapter, although he is referred to. I brought in Phil Coulson so that he and Clint could have a moment to resolve what happened when Clint was compromised. The funeral helps to set up other chapters further in the story.

<<Chapter 9

🛝 📷

Shuri contacted Lacey after Bucky returned to cryostasis to learn more about the play set. When the Princess described the toys that were actually sent on Bucky's behalf Lacey didn't know what to think. It was suggested that Lacey take a closer look at the play set and see if there were any marks on it of any kind that could identify it. When she brought it up later to Clint and Laura they both looked concerned.

"If it wasn't the Wakandans that sent it then who?" asked Clint. "No one except Fury knows we're here and I can't see him sending this without making an appearance or at least an acknowledgement."

"Could it be one of the Avengers that came here after that mission to hide out?" asked Laura.

"Steve sent a present, so did Natasha," said Lacey. "Thor and Bruce are still missing, right? That leaves Tony and he wouldn't, not after finding out about Bucky."

"What do you mean?" asked Clint. "He's known about Bucky most of the time. What haven't you told us?"

Lacey covered her mouth, angry at herself. "One of the things that Zemo did was to reveal to Tony Stark who killed his parents," she said, not wanting to say anything further but Clint still looked blankly at her. "He revealed it in Siberia, when he followed Steve and Bucky there. It's why he shot Bucky's arm off."

"Shit, the Winter Soldier," said Clint. "It was always thought to be a traffic accident but it was a hit?"

Lacey nodded. "There was traffic cam footage and Zemo showed Stark," she said. "Sent him into a rage and he tried to kill Bucky. He and Steve had to team up and fight him together to stop him. It's why Steve and Sam went underground."

"Damn," said Clint. "But why would Tony send a play set, an expensive one at that, to the son of the man who killed his parents? Unless, the decryption of the HYDRA files has made him realize Bucky was never in control."

Lacey went over to the play set and began to inspect it for any sign it came from Tony, knowing that his ego was big enough for him to put something on it but she found nothing and although she agreed with Clint's speculation there was no actual proof he sent it.

The matter would have been considered unresolved if Lacey hadn't received a visit from the man himself soon after. Clint applied to have his restrictions relaxed. He had to attend a hearing outside of his 10 mile radius so Agent Jones came to pick him up and Laura went with them. The older two children, Cooper and Lila, were at school, leaving Lacey to look after Nathaniel and now 20 month old Tommy. While they were outside playing a sound from the sky attracted their attention. Gathering the two boys close to her Lacey watched as Iron Man descended into the yard. The two little boys were awestruck as the suit opened and Tony Stark stepped out. Lacey said nothing when she saw him, unsure of why he was there but to his credit he came right over, smiling in a friendly manner.

"It looks good," he said, waving his hand at the structure. "Tommy likes it?"

"He loves it," she replied. "Why didn't the installers say it was from you? And how do you know his name?"

"I wasn't sure you would accept it, given the circumstances," he said, frowning slightly, then looking closer at Tommy. "He is definitely Barnes' son. Those eyes ...." Lacey didn't respond. "Look, here's the thing. Yes, I did try to kill Barnes but I was in a rage at the time due to that Sokovian madman showing me something no child, even one as old as me, should ever see. I'm still working on forgiveness but I have acquired understanding of what HYDRA did to him to make him into what he was. He needs treatment and I'm glad he's getting it."

"It might be years before he's well enough to join us," said Lacey. "Are you going to come after him then?"

Tony paused, giving her a sad but understanding look that said it all.  It was probably the only time Lacey would see Tony Stark looking humbled.

"No, there's been too much hate and violence already because of HYDRA.  He won't be in danger from me. I know I'm not the easiest man to deal with. God knows my father and I were at each other's throats often enough. I would give up all my money to tell him face to face that I loved him, just once. Barnes has a chance at a normal life with you and Tommy. I'm willing to let him have it."

Lacey nodded, realizing this was as close to an apology that anyone would ever receive from Tony Stark.

"You still haven't said how you know my son's name," she stated.

"Being a billionaire has its advantages," replied Stark, grinning wickedly once more. "I just put Friday on it. Now, can I see how this little guy moves? I'm guessing he is showing signs of inheriting the super soldier abilities? We'll have to keep what's left of HYDRA and the CIA from finding out. The lawyer said the decrypted HYDRA files will go a long way to exonerating Barnes but it will be a while until he can return to protect his family himself."

"You're paying for the lawyer, aren't you?" asked Lacey.

"I refuse to answer on the grounds it may make me seem like a better man," smiled Stark, then turned back to the two little boys. "Come on, Tommy, Nathaniel. Show your Uncle Tony how you use this thing."

He stayed and played with the boys for almost an hour, climbing up the structure with them, sliding down on the slide portion then encouraging them to use the rope swing, even helping Nathaniel get down when he panicked after being up too high. As Lacey watched she could tell Tony was assessing Tommy's capabilities as he played. Her son didn't disappoint as he jumped up from the ground to grab hold of the monkey bars portion and pulled himself across them. Then he climbed to the top several times and jumped off with a joyous yell. His strength, dexterity and bravery were all on full display and when Tony finally stopped playing, claiming he was too old for this, he came and sat on the grass next to Lacey, still watching the pair.

"He's impressive," he stated. "Just a toddler and he's doing things that much older kids would do. Does he know about his dad?"

"We've had a couple of video calls with him," she replied. "They've restored Bucky's early memories and found other HYDRA memories that set him back a little. They're working on the activation words right now."

"His arm?"

"They haven't really said other than they're working on a replacement," she admitted. "I'm guessing it won't be the heavy burden the first one was. Why do you care, Tony?"

He sighed. "I told you." Lacey looked unconvinced. "I guess what it comes down to is that if the CIA had told my dad after the war that Bucky Barnes was still alive and being tortured to turn him into an assassin my dad would have flown the plane to rescue him. He would have probably bankrolled the rescue himself. He talked a lot about Steve Rogers when I was growing up but he also told me about Sergeant Barnes, Captain America's protector since childhood. Dad and Barnes competed for the same women but also had some good conversations about science and technology. Barnes must have impressed him with his knowledge and understanding because my dad talked about how the differences in their upbringing made Barnes an ordinary soldier instead of an engineer. He thought that was as great a loss as Barnes dying. I'm just trying to honour my dad by trying to help Barnes now, I guess."

"It's true then," said Lacey, grinning. "Tony Stark does have a heart."

"Now you're just insulting me," he said, standing up and brushing off his backside. "Time to go before you say I probably feel guilty about breaking up the Avengers."

He stopped in his tracks, realizing he had spoken that last part out loud. Then he turned to her with a regretful smile before walking over to his Iron Man suit. The boys both stopped what they were doing and watched in fascination as the suit opened up, enclosed Stark inside, and then with a wave lifted off into the sky. Both boys waved back watching him until he was no longer visible. When Clint and Laura arrived back an hour later with the news that Clint's radius had been extended to 50 miles she told them of Tony's visit.

"Good thing I wasn't here," said Clint. "I'm still angry at him. But at least it sounds like he's slowly coming around. He actually played with the boys?"

"For an hour at least," she said. "He was assessing Tommy while he was doing it. He's paying Bucky's lawyer as well."

"Now I have heard everything," grinned Clint.

It remained a source of conversation between the three for much of the day. Two days after Tony's visit a FedEx truck delivered some boxes addressed to Nathaniel Barton and Tommy Chapman.  Inside were several sets and varieties of toddler friendly building blocks.  Clint didn't want to accept them but both Laura and Lacey convinced him that the boys would both enjoy the toys.

Later that week Lacey received word via a Nick Fury phone call that her mother had died. He left it to her whether she wanted to go to the funeral but did say he would provide transportation, accommodation, and security for her, if that was a concern. She discussed it with Clint and Laura, who advised her to go. After sleeping on it she agreed and informed Fury she would. The day came soon enough and she waited for what she thought would be a limousine to pick her and Tommy up. Instead it was a quinjet and a rather straight laced man in a suit stepped out. Clint immediately stepped forward offering his hand.

"Phil, it's been a long time," he said. "I'm sorry I was on the wrong side at the time."

"Clint," the man politely accepted his hand. "It's all water under the bridge. Miss Chapman, I'm Phil Coulson, SHIELD. If you and your son would follow me I'll strap you in."

Clint waved goodbye and stepped back as the quinjet took off. Coulson sat next Lacey on the aircraft and smiled kindly at her.  Right away, she felt at ease with the man.

"We have a safe house in Philadelphia for you and your son to stay," he advised her. "We will transport you to the funeral in Wilmington. Myself and another agent will provide security for you, with a third agent driving. Afterwards we will return to the safe house then return you to Barton's farm the following morning." He looked at Tommy in a friendly way. "He seems to be a happy child. Is he aware of his father?"

"You know?" asked Lacey, surprised.

"I was read in," he said calmly. "This child is unique and mustn't be raised by anyone other than yourself. He must grow up without interference."

"May I ask what your connection to Clint is?" asked Lacey.

"We were colleagues at SHIELD," replied Coulson. "Barton was compromised, his mind taken over by a demi god with delusions of grandeur. He helped attack the location where we were holding the individual. I was killed in the process." Lacey looked horrified as Coulson smiled grimly. "Fury used alien technology to resurrect me but there was a cost. Clint still feels guilt for his part in my death and I'm still angry at Fury for not letting me die. I still trust him as part of SHIELD which is why I still work for him but we're no longer friends."

"I'm sorry," said Lacey. "Clint and Laura have become like family to me. He never mentioned it."

"He wouldn't," said Coulson. "He still wears his guilt inside."

They didn't speak for the remainder of the flight. When they landed a limousine was waiting for them and she was taken to a high rise apartment building. Their "safe house" turned out to be the four bedroom penthouse with a 360 degree view. Two other agents were already there, a young woman named Daisy Johnson, and a rather stern faced man by the name of Alphonso Mackenzie.

"Just call me Mack," he said on their introduction. "I'm sorry for your loss. I'll be your driver while Coulson and Johnson will accompany you to the funeral."

"Is there really a possibility that HYDRA or the CIA will come after us?" she asked.

"Hard to say," said Coulson. "You've done very well staying off the radar, except for allowing your own picture to go with your pseudonym for your second book. If they know of your first book written under your real name they can make the connection pretty easily as you were listed on your mother's obituary as next-of-kin.  Someone may be watching for you and could wonder how you got pregnant with this little guy."

"He is pretty adorable," said Daisy, smiling at Tommy and getting a shy smile in return. "I'll make sure no one touches him."

"Except for my family," said Lacey, quickly. "Although if my brother is still an asshole I'll rethink that."

"Come on, I'll show you to your room," said Daisy. "We don't have a crib for Tommy but it is a king-sized bed so there should be enough room for both of you to share."

She opened the door to a fairly large room with a king-sized bed. There was a bathtub in the bathroom which Lacey was glad for Tommy's sake as she brought some bath toys in her suitcase. Daisy kept her eyes out the window as Lacey unpacked which drew the latter's attention.

"Is everything alright?" she asked.

"Force of habit," replied Daisy before turning her attention to Lacey. "May I ask if Tommy has his father's abilities?"

"It appears so," said Lacey. "Tony Stark gave us a big play set for Christmas and this guy is all over it, even jumping off the top ... a distance of about 12 feet. When I was still nursing him it was pretty tiring. Every four hours until he was a year old, even though I started him on solids at about 5 months. Bucky said it's because super soldiers need more calories than regular humans. Tommy can eat as much as a normal adult now."

"That's incredible," said Daisy. "I'll make sure we have lots of food available for him for dinner and breakfast. Can't have this little guy go hungry."

She smiled at him again and this time he climbed on the bed and began jumping on it, making a show of it, as he touched the high ceiling several times. He entertained both of them for as long as they were willing to watch. After dinner and a bath he tired himself enough to sleep and Lacey joined him soon after. In the morning it didn't take long to get ready for the 11 am funeral. While Mack drove, Coulson sat in the front, as Daisy sat in the back with Lacey and Tommy. They arrived at the funeral about 15 minutes before its start time and both SHIELD agents stepped out of the car first, checking the area before giving Lacey the okay. Other funeral goers were confused to what was going on but several family members recognized Lacey and waved.

"It's okay, I know these people," said Lacey to Coulson, when her aunt and uncle approached her.

"What's going on?" asked her Uncle Bert. "Why do you have a bodyguard?"

"It's a long story but in a way it's related to Tom's death," said Lacey. "Some unsavoury people kept looking for me for a long time after Tom died. I'm still a little paranoid so I have a security detail."

"Who is this little angel?" asked her Aunt Mavis, reaching out to touch Tommy's cheeks. "Look at those beautiful eyes."

"The result of a brief affair," said Lacey. "His name is Tommy."

"Miss Chapman, we are exposed," said Coulson in a low voice. "I would suggest we go inside."

They entered the funeral chapel and were escorted to the family reflection room where her sister and brother were already seated. Her sister Nancy got up right away and tearfully embraced Lacey, then asked about Tommy, making a fuss over him. Her brother Terry was less friendly.

"So, after what, two and a half years you finally show your face?" he said, angrily. "Could you ever have told us where you were? How did you even know Mom had died?"

Coulson looked at her and shrugged slightly indicating it was her choice what she wanted to tell her family.

"You know Terry, if you had been a bit nicer to me and didn't have your entourage hanging around at Tom's funeral I could have told you what I was facing," she said. "But you had to play the big man and told me to stop being a selfish brat."

"So it's my fault you took off?" he snarled. "You always were immature, weren't you?"

Lacey took a deep breath. "The day after Tom died four Russian mobsters broke into the house looking for a flash drive that he had hidden," she said. "The flash drive contained the location of laundered money that a co-worker of Tom's tricked him into setting up an investment account for. Instead, he hid the money in a secret account and came to see me. He went to tell the FBI but as you know the Russians got to him first. The four that came to my house ..." Terry made a face. "...Grandpa's house that he left to me because I was the only one who was there for him the last two years before he died, were not in a mood to be polite. They were armed and willing to hurt me. I wasn't alone. Bucky Barnes, yes that Bucky Barnes, spent the night and he took on all four men, subduing them and tying them up. He told me to call the FBI and sell the house because they would come looking for me again. Tommy is Bucky's son and if HYDRA or the CIA find out about him they'll come for him. So I've been in hiding ever since, Terry. Not because I didn't want to contact you but because it was safer for me, for Tommy and for you both if I didn't. I don't even know why I came to the funeral, to be honest. Especially since it's obvious you haven't changed.  You're still the asshole you always were."

She glared at her brother, daring him to make a smart ass comment again, like he usually did. Her body was shaking as she struggled to keep herself from crying. Instead he stepped forward and enveloped her in his arms, which did made her cry which made Tommy cry. After several long moments, Terry stepped back and looked at his nephew then at his sister.

"You don't have to be scared of me, Tommy," he said emotionally. "I'm your Uncle Terry and I will protect you as much I can." He stroked Lacey's hair. "I'm so sorry. I was such an asshole then. As you can see there is no more entourage. I blew my knee out last year and the team released me this year. Officially, I'm an unemployed ex-football player with no actual skills to work in the real world. I had no right to treat you the way I did."

Nancy came forward and hugged Lacey again. "I'm sorry I didn't stand up for you at Tom's funeral," she said. "We were all hurting so much and with you being the last one to see him alive it was easy to blame you even though you had nothing to do with it. It's our fault you left without a word. I'm just glad you're okay and that you have someone that means the world to you. He's beautiful, Lacey."

Nancy touched Tommy's cheek and he shyly smiled before laying his head onto Lacey's shoulder. The funeral director came in, advising that it was time to enter the chapel. Coulson and Daisy stood to the side, keeping their eyes on all entrances, while Lacey and her family took their places. It wasn't a long ceremony and when the siblings followed the coffin outside to enter the limousine Coulson advised Daisy to accompany the family while he and Mack followed in their car. The drive to the cemetery was quick and without incident. After the interment a line of people waited to hug the siblings. Coulson, Mack and Daisy all kept their eyes open when they noticed a vehicle enter the cemetery. It stopped some distance away but the driver's side window lowered and Daisy saw a telephoto lens appear. Immediately she went to Lacey, blocking the view to her, while Coulson and Mack approached the vehicle with their weapons drawn.

"Get in the car," she said urgently while she kept scanning the area for any more threats.

Lacey immediately complied, followed by her brother and sister. They all sat in the limousine wondering what to do next until Daisy looked inside to update them.

"Mack and Coulson are checking the guy out," she said. "They're holding his camera and Mack has pressed some buttons. Now they're coming back."

Coulson returned to the limousine and looked inside at the others.

"He was paid to get a picture of you and the baby, for an unknown client," he informed them. "Mack deleted the images. I think it's time you and the baby return to the safe house. I'm sorry to cut your reunion short. He's bringing our car up alongside this one."

Lacey turned to the other two apologetically. "I better go," she said. "I don't know when I'll see you again."

Nancy pulled out a card, wrote her phone number and email address down on it, then handed it to Terry for him to do the same. "If you find a safe way to contact me here's our information," she said. "I wish we had more time. I bought your book and I loved it. I hear it's doing really well and I'm so proud of you."

They hugged affectionately. Terry kneeled on the floor of the limousine and took Lacey's hand into his own.

"I meant what I said about protecting you two," he said emotionally. "If you ever need extra muscle wherever you're hiding let me know. Don't wait so long for the next visit. Take care little sister. I'll see you again little man."

He hugged Lacey hard and ruffled Tommy's hair. Mack pulled their car close and Lacey quickly transferred over. She looked out the rear window as the car pulled away from the limousine trying not to cry. Daisy held her hand the entire time.

"We're being followed," said Mack, just minutes later as he looked out his rear view mirror. "Two vehicles, tinted windows."

Coulson and Daisy both looked back. "Can you get on the expressway?" asked Coulson.

"Only if I double back," said Mack. "That could put them before and after us. I could try to shotgun a left turn up ahead."

"Do it," said Coulson. "Daisy, if we have to ...."

"I understand," she replied. "I'll be ready."

Mack pulled up to a stoplight with a regular left turn. As the traffic lined up in the opposite direction he kept his eye on the traffic light for the cross traffic. Just before that light turned red he spoke.

"Hold on," he warned, then he gunned the accelerator making the turn just as their light turned green.

The oncoming traffic beeped their horns but let him pass. They didn't let the next two vehicles turn and Mack accelerated turning onto another busy road that led to the expressway. He got on it, watching carefully behind him before leaving it several exits later and taking a roundabout way back to the safe house. They entered the underground parkade where Mack backed into a stall then stepped out with his gun drawn and checked the immediate area before giving the okay.

"Who were they?" asked Lacey as they exited the vehicle.

"Don't know," replied Mack tersely, "but I wasn't going to take any chances. They tried to shotgun with us so they were definitely following us."

Back safely in the penthouse Coulson made a phone call, presumably to Fury, to report about the photographer and the two cars following them. After hanging up he looked grimly at Lacey.

"Fury isn't happy about the two incidents," he said. "He's concerned whoever is trying to find you already knows about Tommy. It will delay any chance you have of living elsewhere."

"So back to the farm?" Lacey asked. "I'm okay with that. My family aren't in danger are they?"

"Probably not," replied Coulson, "but you won't be able to contact them through normal channels. They are going to put the photographer under surveillance and see if that leads them to who paid him. We'll also try to locate images of those two vehicles through traffic cam footage."

"Will it always be like this?" asked Lacey, as she watched Tommy approach Mack, who just looked sternly down at the boy.

"I would like to say no," replied Coulson, as he watched with her. "But he is unique, born a super soldier. That is worth a lot to the wrong people. HYDRA had their own aspirations to breed Winter Soldiers that failed miserably because their scientists didn't understand how fragile the reproductive system really is. The fact that Bucky Barnes was eventually able to father a child may have them scrambling, I think."

The next morning they made it to the airport without incident and Coulson accompanied Lacey on the quinjet flight back to the farm. Clint came out of the house as the aircraft landed and nodded at Coulson as he escorted Lacey and Tommy off.

"We had to leave the funeral at the interment," said Coulson. "A photographer tried to get a picture. Then we were followed by two vehicles."

"Well, she'll just have to stay with us," replied Clint, putting his arm around Lacey briefly. "She and Tommy are like family now so it's no hardship for us."

"You're a good man, Clint," said Coulson with a smile. "Miss Chapman, it has been a pleasure. You look after Tommy and yourself."

Lacey hugged him, which he accepted somewhat bashfully, then they watched the quinjet leave before going inside. There were worse places to raise a child but there weren't many that were better.  Clint had done a good job keeping the existence of this farm a secret.  Right from the time she arrived there Lacey had felt safe.  The prospect of living there indefinitely wasn't a problem.

Chapter 11>>

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