#when you fall back to your old ways you're actually giving the devil and your haters what they've always wanted
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next time if you ever feel like falling back to old habits just remember this
personally, there's no better motivation than remembering that there's probably many people out there who don't want me to succeed.
#when you fall back to your old ways you're actually giving the devil and your haters what they've always wanted#student#study motivation#studyspo#self improvement#studyblr#mental health#psychology#it girl#self care#self esteem#college#personal development#personal growth#that girl#studying#university#becoming that girl#it girl energy#glow up#healing#philosophy#medical school#med studyblr#medblr#quotes#self confidence#self love#faith
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Seven Days Til Fall (Part 5)
Part 1 – Part 2 – Part 3 – Part 4 – Part 5 – Part 6 – Part 7
Read on AO3
Words: 5,533
Pairing: Lucifer Morningstar x Angel!Reader
Summary: You're an angel sent on a divine mission to retrieve a powerful relic that has been stolen from Heaven. The orders are clear: gain an audience with the Devil, make deals with them if necessary, anything to return that object to the Silver City. But Hell is not quite what you expected, and neither is Lucifer.
Trigger warnings: None in this chapter.
You felt like the worst angel that had ever walked the luminous roads of the Silver City since the War. Your purity, gone in smoke like Squatterbloat had warned you it would in Hell; your light, dimming and slowly giving way to the darkness like Michael had feared; and your faith, far from unwavering after the conversation you had had with Lucifer and what you had found in the Library last night.
Doubt had done more than just plant its seeds inside your heart –it had taken root, sprouted, and turned your mind into a fertile soil for thoughts and questions you weren't supposed to have to grow.
After what happened with Gabriel last night, you had stayed in the Library, desperately trying to distract yourself from these thoughts and questions and to refocus on your mission, which you felt the need to see through as fast as possible so you could find your way back to God's Light and into the Archangels' good graces.
But the problem since yesterday was that, no matter how hard you tried, your thoughts always returned to Lucifer and their Fall somehow. Yet, you had refused to give up and had stayed in the Library in search of something –anything– useful to locate the Cup of Eternal Grace. Night had thus quickly stretched into morning, and you had missed matins, only to tell yourself it was for a good cause, that you could keep searching and go to the next Mass, and… miss lauds as well.
You were, decidedly, the worst angel of all Heaven.
Still, it seemed you hadn't spent all this time at the Library for nothing. The ancient scrolls and dusty volumes you had browsed there did contain some scattered references to the Obsidian Bazaar and the Shadows. The latter were said to be most active during moments of transition –at dawn, noon, and dusk. While twilight was most ideal, it seemed their presence could still be felt during other times of day, provided one knew what to look for.
Finding the Bazaar required not only knowledge of the Shadows’ movements but also a token of permission, usually given by one of the higher demons. But you still had Lucifer and their authorisation to come and go anywhere you wanted, you thought, so you didn't worry about this too much.
There was only so much old texts could tell you, though. You still needed more specific information about the demon responsible for holding the Cup, and that meant turning to someone who might actually know who it was. It was time to see Arakiel.
When you entered the Observatory, the vast space resonated with a gentle hum, and the glow of Divine Light shone through crystalline orbs, all focused on the world below. Arakiel stood in the middle of the room, their soft gaze fixed on Earth –some part of the Northern Hemisphere, you recognised–, an almost dreamy smile on their lips.
Arakiel was not like most Archangels –not like most angels, really. They were sweeter, more patient and more understanding than the others, rarely acted in the usual hypocritical angelic way, and their take on things was more nuanced. You often wondered if this was what Earth did to angels who had spent too much time there. Arakiel certainly had; they had almost gone native in a way and, more often than not, didn't even let their wings out when returning to the Silver City.
"Look!" the Archangel said in a whisper full of awe, frantically gesturing for you to get closer. "Just two days until the autumn equinox!"
You approached and looked down. Sure the colours were pretty and the humans seemed happy, but you couldn't help but think about the earthquake in which little Jeremiah had died yesterday, the political conflicts that had been reported in Africa, or the genocide in Palestine, and made a face. How could anyone have such a jolly attitude about Earth –or at least humanity? Evidently, things had gone quite awry on that planet. You preferred Saturn.
"Did you know that in some human languages, they call autumn the 'fall'?" Arakiel asked after a while. "Mostly it's North Americans, I believe. But there are also similar expressions in the Finnic languages, Danish, Croatian, Macedonian, uh… Polish as well. Oh, and Hindi, Malay, and–"
"How fascinating."
You had to cut the lecture short. Arakiel tended to get very passionate about mortal stuff, and there had been over eight thousand languages since God had destroyed Babel. You couldn't keep up and nor did you have time for it.
"Why are You telling me this, Your Grace?"
Arakiel blinked, clearly startled by your interruption, but their smile didn't falter. Instead, they chuckled softly, as if amused by your impatience.
"Oh, no reason, I suppose. I just find it awfully poetic. It makes me hope that they know that everything that is lost can be found, that those who fall are meant to rise again, and that those who died shall live once more, like Christ. It is how the Almighty intended it, an endless cycle of life."
"I see," you said slowly for lack of a better reply. The Archangel Arakiel was too dear to you to ruin their views with your newly formed opinion on the matter of falling.
"Funny story, I met Our Lord's son. A very kind and gay man, always smiling and–" This time, Arakiel stopped themself. "But you're not here to hear about my earthly tales, are you?"
"Well, not this one. I have come to you to ask about the Cup of Eternal Grace."
Arakiel's expression sobered, their light-heartedness fading as they turned to face you fully.
"Ah. Yes, of course. The Cup." They tapped their chin thoughtfully. "The humans who had it were part of a cult, a branch of a group that calls itself 'The Family'. They traded it off in a bargain they barely understood."
"For what?"
"An amulet of protection –so they said."
"To which demon?" you pressed, eager to move on.
"Well, it's hard to say for sure. Demons can be tricky, they don't always present themselves as they are. But they told me this one looked like a woman and had two heads."
"Do You trust those humans?"
"Do you have one single better lead?"
You didn't, and so you would be going back to Hell with that one information and many prayers.
This time when you arrived in Hell, Mazikeen was waiting for you right behind the Gate of Damnation, her arms crossed and her gaze unwelcoming. You sighed heavily at her sight.
"What is it now, Mazikeen?"
"You will not be seeing the Morningstar today."
"No, you already tried that once on me," you said trying to dodge her. "I shall ask the ruler of Hell myself."
Mazikeen snatched your arm then, crushing it mercilessly in her hand.
"Not this time. Their orders were explicit, they do not wish to see you."
"Why?"
"Personal reasons."
You yanked your arm free from Mazikeen's grip and muttered a "Fine", hurt and disappointment hitting you harder than expected. Why would Lucifer suddenly refuse to see you so categorically? Was this about the kiss –or rather, your refusal of it? Lucifer had seemed quite vulnerable, yes, but you refused to believe they would let it affect them so much. Or were they really that resentful?
"The Lightbringer told me to get you to the Obsidian Bazaar. We have had demons tracking the Shadows for you since twilight. We might not effectively catch them until the next main solar event but–"
"Noon, yes. I know. The Silver City's Library possesses quite the extensive literature on Hell, believe it or not, and I have done some research."
"Ha!" Mazikeen scoffed. "You think your lot knows more about our own realm than we do? The Shadows have changed a lot since those were written."
"Either way," you said, trying to ignore her mockery, "I need you to take me to a demon first. The Archangel Arakiel has interrogated the humans who traded with Hell. Now, I am fairly certain that the Cup is no longer in that demon's possession, but I thought I might ask them who they sold it to at the Bazaar. It could save us some time."
Mazikeen's face still bore a smug expression as she thought you were too naive for your own good, but she decided to indulge you.
"And which demon is it?"
"I… have no idea," you confessed. "I only know they traded with a Christian cult and presented themself as a woman with two heads."
"Yes, because a demon with multiple faces and who likes to present feminine to seduce mortals sure narrows it down." She sighed, then revealed her best guess. "That would most probably be Enepsigos. An angelic artefact that can give visions sounds like the kind of object she would want to have."
"Good. Then take me to her."
Hours later, you had finally made it to the Obsidian Bazaar, but not without trouble. Enepsigos had been less than cordial, spitting insults in your direction before Mazikeen's blade at her throat and a reminder of what her sovereign had commanded a few days ago forced a little more cooperation.
She had given up the name of another demon who, in turn, had given you the name of another. By the time you finally found out which merchant demon to turn to at the Bazaar, you had already discovered five intermediaries who had all wanted the chalice for a different purpose.
Every little conversation and negotiation had taken more time than necessary, and going from one place to another had taken even longer considering that Mazikeen couldn't fly –and neither of you wanted you to carry her. You had almost missed the transition at noon because of that, but at least now you had something concrete.
At last, a merchant at the Obsidian Bazaar had offered what seemed like a breakthrough, claiming to have sold the Cup to Lahash. He was certain that Lahash was the final link in the chain, but when you asked Mazikeen to take you to him, she outright laughed at you.
She had already been snickering all morning, throwing out comments and cutting remarks that, in a way, reminded you of how certain Archangels –especially Gabriel– talked to you. You hated it of course but, being so close to your goal, you had decided not to make a big deal out of her relentless derision, attributing it to her fiendishness.
But that one throaty laugh was the last straw; you couldn't ignore it any longer.
"Why are you laughing?"
Mazikeen shook her head, her grin widening.
"I just enjoy watching you play Angel Detective."
"This is not a game, Mazikeen."
"Oh, it is for me. In fact, I believe it is for most of us here." She shifted her weight on one leg and brought her hands to her hips, still smiling. "But I am feeling generous today, and since I have spent enough time with you already, let me give my favourite feathery sleuth a hint and put an end to both our sufferings."
You doubted she had anything relevant to say, but you straightened your back and wings, ready to listen.
"Go on."
"Lahash does not have your chalice."
"Oh, for goodness' sake."
"He has not had it for a while now."
"But the merchant told us–"
"He told us everything he knew, there was no lie on his part. Lahash did have the Cup and now no longer has it."
"How would you know?"
"Because I witnessed the Morningstar snatching it from his hands myself."
Your heart dropped to the pit of your stomach as the revelation hit you like one of God's thunders.
Lucifer had the Cup. All this time, while you had been running in circles around Hell, chasing ghosts, they had it in their possession. How… petty of them. Had you interrogated Lahash, he would have most probably never denounced his ruler, and you would have sooner found one particular grain of sand on Earth than the chalice.
As you tried to think of anything in Lucifer's behaviour that should have made you realise what was going on, you felt a wave of betrayal surge through you, sharper than anything you had ever known. Had everything they had done and said only been a way to distract you from your mission? Or were they trying to compensate for this low blow somehow? This was the Devil, anything was possible.
"What?" Mazikeen's smirk was insufferable as if she was savouring your frustration. "Are you going to cry? Do angels cry Holy Water, I wonder?"
Mazikeen was going too far and you were in so much pain that any remnant of angelic restraint left your soul that instant, and you decided that the best defence against her was attack.
"You think this is amusing, don't you? You are running errands for a coward who cannot even face me. What does that make you?" You took an ominous step closer. "You are just like your mother, Mazikeen –born to serve a greater being and always messing with the wrong people. And one day… you will be replaced and forgotten."
Mazikeen's smirk immediately faltered, her pride pricked, and she drew her sword in a swift movement to direct the tip of its blade at your throat.
"Careful, angel."
"Go ahead," you said softly, not even caring about your fate at that point. "I'm sure that would speed the process."
Mazikeen stood still, her sword still grazing your skin and her eyes never leaving yours. And then, slowly, she lowered and sheathed it, knowing that her life would be on the line if she made an attempt on yours.
"Mmh. Evidently, Lucifer cares just enough," you mused aloud, although you were now convinced it wasn't personal, that you just mattered as a pawn in the Devil's game. "Right. Show me the way out. I need to have a word with them."
"I told you the Morningstar does not wish to see you."
"Let me rephrase this: I will have a word with your master. Get me out of here."
There was a flicker of hesitation in Mazikeen's expression, but she quickly gave up, not wanting to spend any more time around you anyway, and led you out of the Obsidian Bazaar.
You had been flying over Hell for what seemed like an eternity in search of Lucifer whom you had been assured was not at the Palace. Your wings were frankly starting to tire and tears were prickling your eyes.
You felt betrayed. Correction, you had been betrayed, this was no mere impression. What you truly felt like was lost and alone. In less than a week, you had distanced yourself from Heaven, your whole kind and what they preached after finding out that you maybe had put your faith in the wrong people. Today you realised you had actually done that twice. Who was there left to believe? What side was there left to be on? You were on your own side now apparently, alone and stupid.
Starting to lose your patience, you turned off after the ruins of the Necromanteion to follow the Acheron, and there, sitting on the bank, you finally found Lucifer. They felt your presence, of course, and looked up at you before slowly gazing back down at the river. You saw them move as you descended, and it looked like they were wiping their face. But you were exhausted, your vision had got slightly blurry with the tears you had shed, so you couldn't be too sure.
"Lightbringer," you called out as you landed a few yards away and took quick strides to meet them. "We need to talk."
"So Mazikeen betrayed Us," they muttered, not even bothering to stand up.
"Yes. Betrayal. Hell's speciality, it seems."
With their back still turned to you, you noticed Lucifer lowering their head and their wings slumping a bit. Their refusal to look at you made you seethe.
"Get up and face me like a proper monarch."
Slowly, Lucifer shifted on their knees before rising in one fluid motion. When they then turned around at an even slower pace, you not only noticed that their stance was entirely devoid of confidence for the first time since you met, but you also realised that their eyes were red, as if they had been crying.
The sight hurt you more than you wanted to admit to yourself, but you had already your own pain to deal with –a pain Lucifer had caused– and you didn't want to let their supposed affliction torment you. For all you knew, this could very well be the result of sitting by the Acheron for too long.
"I thought You didn't lie."
"And indeed, We have not lied to you."
"No?" You almost snorted out of pure nervousness. "How long have You had the Cup?" Your question was only met with Lucifer's silence and pinched lips, so you insisted, "Am I not clear today? How long, Lightbringer?"
"A day and two nights." You could swear there was shame in Lucifer's quiet confession.
"You have kept it from me all this time and You call that not lying? You promised to cooperate."
"We promised to help you, yes. But the task was always your own. Our role was merely to guide you."
"So what? You intentionally left bread crumbs everywhere and You were simply going to wait for me to follow them back to You?"
"Yes."
"You serpent…"
The disdain in your voice made Lucifer flinch. You could have hardly found a worse insult to throw at them had you tried, but it was the hurt talking and the regret would only kick in later.
"Where is the Cup now?"
"In Our quarters."
"Good. Let us go then. I am taking that chalice back to the Silver City. Right now."
You unfurled your wings, ready to take flight again when Lucifer's voice stopped you.
"We're afraid that will not be possible."
"Why not?"
Lucifer took a deep breath and clasped their hands in front of them to regain some of their usual composure.
"The Cup has been deconsecrated and cursed. You cannot have it in such a condition, We need to restore it to its heavenly glory, and it may take some time."
This time, you couldn't help a short snicker. "I think You have had enough time. Besides, Your Majesty will forgive me if I doubt They still have it in Them to perform that kind of miracle. Your brother, however, will manage, I'm certain."
Your words cut deep, but the Morningstar tried their best not to let it show.
"If We return the chalice as it is, We will have broken Our contract."
"The contract? Oh, that takes the biscuit. I read that contract too, I'll have You know, and I distinctly remember the full clause. 'The Signatories agree that upon successful retrieval, the chalice shall be returned to the custody of the Divine Council without alteration, corruption, or delay.' Was the 'delay' part not clear?"
"The fact remains that We need more time. There is no point in handing you the Cup if it is altered. It is too great of a risk."
"The only risk I see, Lightbringer, is for You to be denied access to the Silver City. So You best hope that the Divine Council never learns about what You did."
Lucifer clenched their jaw, offended and somewhat annoyed by your incessant barbs. Still, they chose to ignore them.
"We meant for you. We will not take the risk of putting such a vile artefact into your pretty angelic hands, nor do We wish for you to be accused of having failed in your mission. You have not."
"Do not pretend You care about me," you snapped. "Did it ever occur to You that I was running a race against time or that my position in the Orders was in jeopardy?" Lucifer's eyes widened, revealing their lack of awareness. "Of course not. Because You only care about Yourself. I mean, was any of what You told me, of what happened yesterday real? Any of it?"
"We–"
"Don't bother. I am not sure that I want to know. God, to think that I almost k–"
You cut yourself off, incapable of finishing that sentence, especially not after your very first blasphemy. Instead, you looked up at the orange sky then down at the ground, anywhere that was not Lucifer's reddened eyes.
"I am going home," you said after a while, making sure to use that particular word to refer to Heaven. "But I will be back before dusk to retrieve the Cup. That is all the time You get."
"You are welcome to stay here while We–"
"Absolutely not."
You turned around, fully intent on leaving, and lifted yourself off the ground with a few decisive flaps.
"You were right," Lucifer blurted out, hurrying closer to stand right beneath you, their eyes welling up as they raked over your body and immaculate wings.
"About what?" you asked, facing them once more but not bothering to land.
"It is lonely. Ruling Hell, dealing with all the pain that reigns here. But with you… We kept the Cup against Our better judgement because when you are here, life in Hell does not seem so lonely any more."
You blinked, and when you spoke again, your voice had slightly mellowed.
"So You had me come back every day because You need… company?"
"We suppose, yes."
Lucifer seemed so sincere and vulnerable, but the turmoil raging inside you didn't allow you to calm down enough to reply politely.
"I am not Your pet. There is Mazikeen for that. Good, faithful Mazikeen."
"But it is not Mazikeen We want! Is it so wrong that We wanted to keep you close?"
"You did not keep me close, Lightbringer, You kept me shackled to Hell! But no more. I will be back for the Cup, but after that…"
You let your voice trail off, incapable of finishing that thought. Deep down, even if you wouldn't admit it, you didn't want to have to say your final goodbyes. Because leaving Hell forever meant being on your own forever, feeling lonelier than you already did, and you were well aware that you were not as strong as the ruler of Hell to handle that loneliness.
Right now, you had to go. And so you left.
"Back so soon? We can only assume you gathered us here to share some good news."
"Or some terrible ones."
You had summoned the Divine Council as soon as you had arrived in the Silver City and you were now standing at the foot of a large pulpit from which the five Archangels –Gabriel and Uriel, who had just spoken, Michael, whose eyes were narrowing at you, and Azrael and Raphael– were looking down at you.
"Actually," you said with a bright smile that felt a bit forced, "it is good news. I found the Cup of Eternal Grace."
"Yet we see no Cup before us," Azrael commented, their voice sharp.
"Where is it?" Gabriel asked in his usual condescending tone.
"I, uh…" Your palms were sweaty and you wiped them on your robes. "I, unfortunately, had to leave it with the Lightbringer so that they could undo the spells that have been cast on it."
Michael was the one to speak then, his voice low and dangerous.
"So, you found the Cup… and left it in Hell when I specifically ordered you to bring it back quickly. Now the chalice is in my sibling's possession. What game are you playing exactly?"
It wasn't a question, more like an accusation. You opened your mouth to explain, but Raphael's cold laugh cut you off.
"How convenient for Lucifer."
"Indeed," Uriel added, their tone sharp. "We send you to retrieve the Cup, and instead, you come back with excuses."
"I shall bring it back before the end of the day, I promise," you insisted, trying to control the tremor in your voice. "But it needs to be restored first. The Morningstar said–"
"Lucifer says a lot of things," Gabriel interjected. "And you seem to be listening too much."
You flinched at those words and swallowed hard, your mind racing. You realised Gabriel had probably told his peers about what had happened last night in the forbidden section of the Library, and, suddenly, it became pretty evident that if you failed to bring the Cup back tonight, the consequences would be dire.
But weren't the Archangels supposed to be pleased? You had found the Cup, that was the most important thing –the promise that you would soon bring it back to the Silver City and succeed in your mission. Yet, instead of praising you, the Council was once again criticising you.
After feeling betrayed by Lucifer, you were feeling betrayed by your own kind, left wondering which side was truly the better one. Or rather, which one was the lesser evil. Because if this was the Light, you were beginning to wonder what darkness really looked like.
Michael stood up and leaned forward, hovering over you. And, at that moment, you felt more scared of him than you had been of his sibling on your first day in Hell.
"You will go back to Hell this instant. I do not want to see your face again until the Cup of Eternal Grace is in your hands and back in holy territory. Is that understood?"
You shivered and lowered your wings in submission.
"Yes, Your Grace. I will be back before–"
"GO!"
When you found them again, Lucifer was sitting behind their desk, the Cup before them, gleaming in a faint, otherworldly light. Their wings shifted slightly as they looked up from their work, their brows furrowed in confusion.
"We thought you did not want to stay."
"I did not," you muttered, stepping into the room but keeping your distance. "To be frank, I almost stopped by Earth to wait there until You were done, but I fear the Divine Council might be keeping a close watch on me now, so I had no choice."
"Why?" When you didn't answer but instead looked away, Lucifer immediately understood. "It is Our fault, is it not?"
Tears started to prickle your eyes, you fought them as hard as you could.
"I should not be so surprised," you said. "The Devil, causing pain, leaving torment in their wake… It was to be expected. But I am still disappointed. And hurt."
"Our sincere apologies…"
You nodded, signalling you had heard them, but you weren't sure whether you wanted to accept their apology. Either way, you didn't know what to say, so you walked to a nearby cushioned bench and sat there.
Lucifer didn't add anything at first, their attention drifting back to the Cup. Silence stretched between you for over ten minutes as they worked, after which they spoke again, their voice now even quieter.
"Are you not going to say anything?"
"I do not want to talk to You, Lucifer" you replied, your voice cracking a bit as you gave up on etiquette to call the monarch by their first name only. "I have lost my restraint and my patience, and I am too hurt to be kind for now."
"We understand."
You missed it because you were still avoiding their gaze, but Lucifer smiled ever so slightly despite their own ache, as they realised you didn't hate them enough to want to be mean to them. But the smile quickly vanished and they turned their focus back to the chalice.
Two hours had almost passed when they finally stood up and approached you.
"Take it," they said as they handed you the Cup, their tone almost empty. "It is done."
You stood up as well, your fingers brushing against Lucifer's as you took the artefact. For a very brief moment, you felt the warmth of their touch, but it vanished as quickly as it had come.
"There is still time before dusk. Do you… Do you perhaps wish to have supper with Us one last time?"
Both the hurt you felt and your reason told you to say no, but your heart soared, trying to convince you to say yes. Truth was, as much as you hated what Lucifer had done to you, as much as you blamed the Lightbringer for your pain, you didn't really want to part on bad terms and you rather dreaded going back to Heaven. And so you hesitated.
"I cannot stay," you eventually decided, knowing the risk was too great. "I am fairly certain the Divine Council already believes I have been buying You time. I need to go and give them the Cup. And after that, I do not wish to hear about it ever again."
Pinching their lips, Lucifer nodded. They looked so sad, so vulnerable. Could it be that they felt guilty? Part of you wished they did, but you didn't have time to dwell on that. You had to go.
There was one last thing you felt the need to say, however.
"I would have lied for You, You know. In fact, I already did in more ways than one." Lucifer's eyes widened a bit and you saw it, the hope. "For some inexplicable reason, I even find it easy to hide and twist the truth for You. Because You opened my eyes to so many things and I blindly put my faith in You. But You betrayed it and have made me feel stupid. And so that doesn't make You any different from Your brother and his clique."
With that said, you turned to leave but before you could cross the threshold, you heard Lucifer's voice behind you, quivering and pleading.
"Will you forgive Us?"
It wasn't just a question –it was a cry, a desperate, fragile thing that echoed through the room and pierced your heart. Your throat tightened, your wings tensed, and for a moment, you considered turning back. But the hurt inside you was too great, too raw, and when you finally spoke, your voice was distant and almost cold.
"Peace be upon You, Lucifer Morningstar."
You didn't wait for a response. With the Cup clutched in your hand, you straightened your wings and left, certain you would never see the ruler of Hell ever again.
As you flew through the Silver City, your movements shy but quick, you received many looks and comments to congratulate you on the success of your mission. You ignored them or merely answered with a fleeting smile, and found your way to Michael's office.
You cleared your throat and held out the Cup as you entered, relieved to hand over that wretched chalice.
"I have brought the Cup, Your Grace. As promised."
It seemed Michael had been waiting for you. His back turned and his hands clasped behind him, he was staring out across the clouds.
Then he turned slowly, his eyes narrowing as they landed on the Cup. He stepped forward, taking it from you without a word. His gaze flickered over the artefact before he gave you a slight nod, though his face remained unreadable.
"You may leave now," he said, waving you off.
"Uh… But… Your Grace, the other day You told me–"
"Yes, yes. The Council shall discuss your case."
You blinked. No praise. No recognition. The promise of a promotion seemed further away than ever, and you wondered if it had ever been real to begin with. Your wings drooped slightly as you turned to go.
Just as your hand reached for the door, Michael's voice stopped you.
"Oh, before you leave."
"Yes?"
"You have not told us this morning. When exactly did you find the Cup, and where?"
You gulped audibly as the question made you question where your loyalties truly lied and whom you wanted to put your faith in –if there was anyone or anything left to put your faith in.
You stood in silence for a second that felt like a lifetime and when you replied to the Archangel, your voice was miraculously steady, though your heart felt anything but.
"I found it today, not long after noon. But like I said, I had to leave it in Your sibling's care so that they could restore it and ensure it would be returned without alteration, as per the contract that bound them to You."
Michael watched you closely, his gaze piercing, but then offered the tiniest smile.
"Very well. You may go, you are no longer needed. And you have my blessing to miss Mass –you need rest more than anything."
You furrowed your eyebrows finding the offer somewhat strange, and the formulation rather ambiguous, but you smiled and nodded, then turned once more to exit Michael's office.
You stepped through the threshold, and before you could take a single breath of relief, a sharp pain hit the back of your head. Your vision blurred as your knees gave out and you collapsed to the ground.
And there was evening, and there was morning –the fifth day.
#reblog appreciated#lucifer morningstar#lucifer morningstar x reader#lucifer#lucifer the sandman#the sandman#the sandman fandom#the sandman fanfiction#gwendoline christie fandom#gwendoline christie#cappulcino writes
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I kinda want Garp in ways no man should want his favourite anime protagonists Grandpa. 😔😔🙏🙏🙏
I want that old man carnally, same with Dragon actually.. The entire Monkey D. Family could get it honestly. They all taste like sea salt and sweat - and I’m feeling a little parched.
Being Garps young boyfriend in the marines, kissing him as you leave files on his desk - the absolute confusion on Koby and Helmeppo’s faces. You’re eating him out, his legs are shaking and he’s grumbling about his back and his knees even though he’s probably stronger than you are.
And what I would give to have Corazon clumsily fall into my lap - or fall forward in a way that causes an accidental kiss of passion. Something so cartoonish that only his clumsiness could have done it. Sucking on your fingers instead of a cigarette for a hot minute before he notices, and even during sex he’s still so clumsy, sinking too far on your cock before he’s ready, slipping and falling back so he directly lands onto your dick. He’s just perfect.
Ichiji, Niji, Yonji.
They’re being cared for by you, they practically adore you, following you around like kittens - always playing off their clinginess as protection, but they’ve always got a hand on you, they’re always asking questions or just hanging off of you - they’re so enraptured but you they don’t realise how deeply they’ve fallen in love with you - emotions practically non existent they feel it all so suddenly and so overwhelmingly that they’re teary eyed and begging with a wet spot on their pants wanting you to help them with these new emotions and their problem.
Or, you’re Sanji’s boyfriend - coming to rescue him, your devotion and desperation, crying and begging him to come back with so much love and care it strikes a cord within the brothers. They’re glancing back as you try and chase down the Coach.
They see you later, kissing Sanji with passion, dipping him down, hand around the nape of his neck and on his ass, squeezing it just to make him moan. They’re a little uncomfortable, capes luckily covering the tight fabric of their raid suits. They make a few teasing comments toward Sanji but when you wink at them, hand wrapped around your sweethearts waist they get all hot and bothered.
- 🐉
sharing a tender kiss with garp in front of the other cadets... i love the casual intimacy... on the other hand, imagine garp using haki to smother reader with grandpa pussy, forcing his tongue deeper inside. (i haven't been abusing haki and devil fruit powers enough this is an unforgivable crime atp)
ohhhh shit. clingy corazon using his clumsiness as an excuse to sit on your lap. he'll be apologising profusely, squirming on top of your bulge like he's trying to get off, until you finally snap, grab him by the waist, and sit him properly on your cock.
and what about voyeurism with sanji and his brothers... leaving the door half-open on purpose while you fuck sanji stupid into the mattress, keeping an ear out for breathy, desperate little whimpers of your name as they finger themselves frantically just outside of the room, so fucking aroused as they each imagine themselves as the one you're pounding into.
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Xcuse me but I forgot very important questions about BS parenthood.
Does he teach the kids more things besides fighting? Is he a cool dad, stoic dad, protective dad or "over-the-moon" dad? Does he gives romantic advises to his son? Does he let his little beast princess play with boys her age? Does he dreads the day when she falls in love? (I have the headcannon over my own BurningCheese fankid that whatever girl/boyfriend she gets they need to AT LEAST be able to put up with him in battle)
Yay, more questions from my buddy Almellow 🗣️🔥🙌
Spice is 100% "over-the-moon dad" when they're babies. It's a pleasant surprise to many to see him so genuinely bubbly and smiley (not to Golden, though, she knows his soft side by now and is just happy to see him enjoying being a father). It's really cute. (I like the concept of hyper-masculine men being soft and loving towards their families ok)
As they grow up, he becomes a mix of all those dad modes, really. Mostly Cool Dad, because having your kids look at you like you're larger than life is just the best. (He's also not the best at disciplining them a lot of the time tbh. He wants to indulge their foolishness, it's more fun. He ends up acting like a child himself, wanting to have fun with his children. And then they all get chastised by Golden together after they break something lol)
He's less protective than you'd imagine him to be; not because he doesn't care, but because he really does have that much faith in their strength right from the get-go. It's actually Golden that's the overprotective one, at least when they're little; he had to coax her into letting them start their warrior training because she kept wanting to push it back and making excuses to do so. (She just can't bear the thought of her little ones getting hurt. She's lost so much already. If anything happened to her children, her little gems... Spice is the one to convince her to have faith in the kids and let them do things. Of course they'll get hurt, she and him get hurt all the time still and they're adults. But they'll be fine. They're tough. They have to nurture that toughness, not stifle it. They can't protect them forever... But they don't need to. The kids can stand on their own two feet. He's never doubted either of them for a second, for any reason. She shouldn't, either.) But make no mistake, Papa Bear is alive and well, just dormant. Only coming out when necessary. You want to see the old Burning Spice? You want to see the Beast of Destruction again? Hurt those kids. Harm a single hair on their heads. Make them cry, make them bleed. Knock on that devil's door enough and Burning Spice will answer it, and he will greet you with that axe of his and that fiery, seething hatred that once consumed his soul and helped burn away countless others'.
Burning Spice trying to talk to his son about love is a really amusing thought lol. I don't think he'd go out of his way to do it until he actually notices his son expressing some form of interest in someone, then it's honestly 50% Lighthearted Dad Mockery™️ and 50% Actually Trying to Teach My Son How to Be Smooth™️. Pepper Jack is having less than none of it, this is all embarrassing as hell, he doesn't want to hear a damn word from his father's mouth (he's a teenager by this point, what teen wants their dad to try to coach them on how to flirt lol). He tries to shut Spice down with sarcasm (Jack is the KING of backtalk and smartassery when he's a teenager, he's a damn menace) or just questioning his wisdom in general. He likes to bring up how annoying and gross Spice and Golden always are (unapologetic PDA constantly lol). He's already forced to witness what "love" and flirting look like, he doesn't need his father pouring salt in his wounds
(Jack once made the mistake of going "didn't you used to be weird and creepy towards Mother" once, as a sort of "gotcha". It made Spice genuinely upset and angry and he tore Jack a new one that lol. Jack felt bad (and kind of scared. Spice never really gets truly angry with the kids, but Jack has seen him get angry with others, and... Oh Lord) and apologized, promising he wouldn't say anything like that again. Things were cold and awkward between them for, like, a week. And then Spice got over it and went back to annoying his son like usual lol)
As for Matar Paneer... She's his princess. His little girl. His little flower. (He has nicknames for both of them lol. He really does love them very much.) She can play with who she wants, so long as she's happy and no harm comes to her (but again, he believes in her strength wholeheartedly and expects her to kick ass if trouble comes by). But... Oh. When she's old enough to date... Poor Spice, he's so miserable lol. He would unironically own and wear this shirt:
If Burning Spice is saying he'd gladly go back to prison for something, you best believe he's being sincere lol
It's Golden that has to step in here. Before, he was the one soothing her worries; now the roles are reversed. She needs Spice to understand that Paneer is a becoming a young woman and she has the right to pursue and be pursued if she wishes. It's ok to care and worry, but he has to let her live and grow. (She's her mother and has always been a girl's girl, she knows what's up and will always be 100% in Paneer's corner in this regard.) Spice once asked her to have more faith in them, now she's asking him to do the same. (And, of course, he can brutally murder whoever hurts Paneer, if that really does happen. But he'll have to wait his turn, because Golden already plans to do the same ☺️)
And yeah, of course Spice teaches them stuff besides fighting. He's happy to do so. He teaches them how to meditate (he gets back into that after he reforms. Jack picks it up a lot faster than Paneer does lol). He teaches them to make the traditional Wild Spice dishes he still remembers how to do himself (he lets the other spices teach them the rest). He... teaches them about history. About the Wild Spices' history, and about history in general. He sounds so... somber when he talks about things like that. It's strange to them. They're used to seeing him act lively and wear that sharp-toothed grin he's always got. But it must mean that what he's saying is really important, right? He wouldn't look and sound like that if he wasn't being serious, right?
#and of course he teaches Jack: “Remember son... dying is gay”#also I love that headcanon of yours. That is Peak Spice behavior. More please#you should tell us about your fankid too. I wanna know them :)#cookie run kingdom#burning spice cookie#golden cheese cookie#burningcheese#goldenspice#cookie run oc#cookie run fankid#pepper jack cookie#matar paneer cookie
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TXT as Vampires
Welcome Ghouls & Goblins,
The TxT's Devil has conjured a fictional version of Tomorrow x Together as vampires. These characters are very little related to the actual men, but it's fun to fantasize. This will be a guide to know what I am writing about in my future projects. Some elements are inspired from AS YOUR VAMPIRE LOVER by @beomiracles enjoy...
Yeonjun
Level: born vampire, oldest of the clan Appearance: pale, raven black hair, dark maroon irises Special Powers: mind reading, can turn people, fast speed, strength Facts: Works as a Phlebotomist, this means he has extreme self control. He is able to take multiple bites from one feeding stopping himself before the victim runs out of blood. Since he's the oldest he knows a lot, so he's always teaching the boys and then gets made fun of for being old :( Suggestive Facts;) He knows he's handsome... he's cocky and a flirt. Since he can read minds he will read yours especially when you aren't able to say what you're really thinking...
Soobin
Level: turned vampire [cause: a way to save his life from intense injury], leader of the clan Appearance: pale, honey blonde, TALL, brown irises that turn into a flame red Special Powers: hypnosis, fast speed, strength Facts: As the leader, he keeps track of spendings in the house and the whereabouts of the boys. Although he was turned, he is excellent at training others if needed (Yeonjun helps too). Suggestive Facts;) Very sweet, doesn't want to take your blood, but he eventually does after you consistently ask. Secretly wants you to have his vampire babies and to make his own lineage.
Beomgyu
Level: born vampire Appearance: interestingly tan, long dark hair, rosewood irises Special Powers: transforms into a bat, fast speed, strength Facts: Gyu likes to spend his nights with werewolves. He also goes around exploring vacant areas (the haunted house down the street, the closed down mall, etc.). He enjoys the old ways of vampirism so he will wear victorian garments and dramatically roam around the clan's castle. Suggestive Facts;) Drains you… can't help it (he can) but he likes they way you taste and fall into his arms :(( Wants to do it EVERYWHERE, in every part of the castle, in a coffin, in the woods, maybe even his favorite old buildings.
Taehyun
Level: born vampire Appearance: pale, untamed platinum blonde, occasionally dyes his hair red, ruby red irises Special Powers: hypnosis, mind reading, can turn people, fast speed, immense strength Facts: Tae was brought up in a very traditional vampire household (never interacted with humans only fed on them, stayed in the dark) thats why he knows a lot of the powers that get personal. However, since he has been with the clan Tae has spread his bat wings: bar hops with yeonjun, having conversations with Kai about humans, reads A LOT of novels from supernatural to humans. Suggestive Facts;) He has self control when it comes to feeding but tends to lose that control when getting intimate. Loves your throat, loves to kiss it, bite it, choke it... Secretly wants to turn you even though he admires your mortality, he just wants you forever.
Huening Kai
Level: turned vampire [cause: victim of a feral vampire], youngest of the clan Appearance: pale, dark brown wavy hair, TALL, brown irises that turn into a bright scarlet Special Powers: recently found out that he can transform into a bat, fast speed, strength Facts: Kai is a baby bat, so he studies the ways of vampires (the boys help). He tends to forget that he’s allergic to the sun, comes back to the castle with steam off his head and burnt. Kai has learned to control himself with feeding on others, but he’s still a bit messy. Suggestive Facts;) He's learned from his ravenous past that bloodsucking is not always good, so he tries to not feast on you but when you give him the go ahead he won't stop. I suggest to invest in turtlenecks because this man loves to mark your neck. You could be human but he loves when you bite and suck on him too.
Let me know your thoughts on vampire!TxT
Check out -> The Devil’s Vampire Diaries
A nuisance,
TxT's Devil 🧛🏻♀️
#txt devil#txt imagines#txt x reader#vampire txt#txt thoughts#txt hard thoughts#txt x you#taehyun imagines#hueningkai imagines#beomgyu imagines#soobin imagines#yeonjun imagines
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The Sith don't want peace.
I've seen some fans use the below quote by Lucas in the Revenge of the Sith director's commentary to frame Darth Sidious/Sheev Palpatine as "evil but with well-meaning intentions".
"Lord Sidious thinks he's bringing peace to the galaxy because there's so much corruption and confusion and chaos going on. Now he's gonna be able to straighten everything out, but the price the galaxy is gonna have to pay for it is way too much."
And uh... no.
Sidious thinking that him ruling the galaxy will bring about peace as a byproduct and him wanting to bring about peace are two very different things.
He's not doing what he does for altruistic reasons. He's a selfish dick who is saying that technically the galaxy won't be fighting anymore and the corruption in the Senate will be quelled... because of course it will be, they'll all be under his thumb in his totalitarian regime.
So Palpatine is not lying, but he's not being genuine either. And that's his whole schtick.
"The Jedi are holding you back, Anakin." Yes, because Anakin has a tendency of flying off the handle, mainly because you enable him to give in to his darker instincts, Sheev!
"The Jedi are trying to take over!" Temporarily? Yeah. Because you're a dictator who orchestrated a war and cemented division across the galaxy, and everyone behind you is corrupt to the bone, SHEEV!
He's not Thanos or Killmonger, he's not the "if you think about it, he's actually a good guy who took it too far" villain.
This is a modern myth with a binary view of good and evil. He's Iago, Jafar, Freezer. He's not "gray", he's the classic "he's evil because he can be" villain. The Emperor is the Devil. As stated by Lucas himself:
"Palpatine is the Devil. There’s no fall from grace there. He’s the evil one." - Starlog Magazine #337, 2005
And the Sith are not pragmatists or people who try to bring positive change using their passion. They're not "free thinkers" who "follow their own path". They're not "religiously persecuted for pursuing knowledge beyond the dogma of the Jedi".
And this battle between the Jedi and Sith, thousands years prior to the films ⬇️...
... it didn't happen the way it's shown in the comic panel. That's Sidious showing horrific unreliable visions to Maul - a child - to indoctrinate him into hating the Jedi.
You know who does that? A cult. That's what the Sith are.
Hell, their code was partly based on Mein Kampf.
The whole "the Jedi 'limit' but the Sith 'embrace' and that's why we're being hunted down" line is just that. A line.
It's what the Sith tell themselves to justify the fact that they fucked with Dark Magic, got corrupted, and are now making it everyone else's problem.
"The Sith are people who are very self-centered and selfish. [They] learned how to manipulate both sides of the Force, and then they fell into the trap of being corrupted by the dark side." - Sci-fi Online, 2005
Which is why the Jedi step in, to stand up to them.
"The Jedi are the enemy of the Sith because the Sith want to dominate the galaxy, to control everything, and for a thousand years they have had a plot against the Jedi." - Sci-fi Online, 2005
The Sith just wanna subdue and control everyone around them, including the Force itself, to fashion the galaxy in their image.
"The end game for the Sith was to bring the world into a very selfish, self-centered, greedy, evil place, as opposed to a compassionate place." - James Cameron's Story of Science Fiction, 2018
So sure, have fun with your The Old Republic OC, go to town.
But when it comes down to it, when we're talking about the intended narrative (I'm looking at you, The Acolyte):
The Sith don't care about peace, they're literal religious extremists.
While some Sith may say they're misunderstood and some may justify themselves as being altruistic... at the end of the day, they're objectively not. They're greedy, power-hungry and self-centered.
They're the anti-theme to Star Wars' theme of "be compassionate".
#again 'The Acolyte' looks like it'll be objectively good but it's a real slippery slope man#sith#Darth Sidious#Sheev Palpatine
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You strut into the little local cafe a little after noon, the bell above the door ringing cheerfully, alarming the few customers and the man at the register to your presence. His head snaps up, that familiar glint in his green eyes meeting yours. Julias. Really, you couldn't not praise him these days, with the amount of caffeine he was willing to help you pump into your system less than an hour after the cafe opened. ‘You're worrying too much.’ He would shake his head, watching you practically finish the coffee in one sip. But this time, you weren't here to complain about the house repairs, nor the rude residents. With quick, calculated steps, you approach the counter, leaning against it with a false mask of casualty, quietly watching as he makes your order by memory.
“I was thinking you wouldn't come today. Thought that lil ol’ me scared the pretty thing away.” he comments with a shrug of his shoulders, his eyes busy with the ceramic mug as he pours in the hot liquid. You watch with amusement, a small, amused huff making its way out of your mouth, followed by a few tsks.
“Like I'd just disappear on you.” He placed your finished order on the counter, wiping his hands at the small towel thrown over his shoulder. Not waiting for a reply, you continued. “When do you end your shift?” You question, taking a sip out of your coffee, letting out a small, consent humm at the taste. He always knew how to get it just right. He gives a short, thoughtful look, moving his attention to restocking the to go paper cups.
“Around 4. Why?”
“Great, you’re coming with me.” He gives a slight look over his shoulder, shooting you a questioning glance.
“Is this your way of asking me out on a date?”
“You’ll see. Just meet me by the old church at 5.” With a small huff of amusement, the man just shrugs his shoulders.
“As you wish.” Satisfied with your answer, you put a few dollar bills on the counter, almost forgetting your coffee in a rush of excitement. You finally step back outside, the humid air of the little town doing little to ruin your mood, even if it feels like an exercise just to breathe properly. People shoot you side glances as you walk past, probably still bitter about you moving in.
Sure, you understood, they were probably just bitter that a stranger moved into the house of someone they knew, but they didn't need to look at you like you were the devil himself. Julias was probably the first one to actually greet you properly, instead of just glaring at you. Honestly sometimes you wondered whether he was just being nice out of pity, after all no one really hid how they simply didn't want you here. But honestly, you really wanted to give him the benefit of doubt. After all, he doesn't seem like the type of person to lead people on, not to mention he didn't really hesitate at your invitation. Would he if he knew you wanted to go explore the woods? Maybe… But safer together than alone, no? And with that, you took off home a little faster, already making a mental to-do list of stuff to pack for both of you.
The worn down church creaks ominously, as if it were to fall apart any second now, the cool air biting into your bare hands as you looked around for the 100th time, trying to spot that golden retriever of a man. Did he forget? You hoped not. Just when you wanted to check the clock on your phone, you see him running across the small stone bridge going over the small river separating the church from the rest of the town, his hand waving enthusiastically in the air. You wave back, giving him a minute to catch his breath when he finally stops in front of you.
“Was starting to think you forgot.” You comment, drawing a small, breathless chuckle from his lips.
“Wouldn’t dream of it, beautiful.” He straightens up, looking around. “So…What are we doing here exactly? Didn’t take you for the type to hook up with people at abandoned places.” You can’t help rolling your eyes, giving his shoulder a smack.
“Very funny. Now cmon!” You turn, already moving on the dirt trail by the time he collects himself, forcing him into a faster pace to catch up.
“You seriously wanna go to the forest? Bad idea…” He mumbles when he finally gets next to you as you pass the first few trees, the greenery thickening around the two of you. He looks a bit nervous, eyes drifting from one tree to another as you go further. “What do you need from here anyway?” He questions, giving you a questioning side glance. You just shrug, kicking away a rock from the path as you walk.
“Just curious.” He gives a small hum, not really believing you. Must think you're a bit weird, not like he wouldn't think the same if you swore something was watching you from the same forest. And with that, you pushed on, looking around with hints of curiosity as the trees just kept getting thicker and thicker, not letting as much sunlight through the leaves, but the bits it did let through were beautiful, the setting sun casting a golden glow on the ground. Julias follows behind, giving a comment or cracking a joke here or there.
“You know, we should LEAF this place.” He said at one point, giving a small, awkward chuckle once he realized that the pun did little to deter you from going forward. “You know, me and my siblings used to go here all the time.” He said pretty much out of nowhere, his voice taking on a sincere tone.
“Your siblings?” You question, looking over your shoulder at him. He still looked nervous to say the least, his pupils a bit too dilated to look natural.
“Yeah,” he continued, “we were a bunch of rowdy kids. Still are.” Finally, after a couple of minutes of quiet walking, the mood now way warmer, the two of you stop at a split walkway, both directions looking way too dark to venture now that the sun has set.
“We should probably go back.” You finally agree, a little disappointed from the lack of answers, but also feeling closer to Julias than before. Speaking of… “Julias?” You call out, not even fully turning back before something tackles you to the ground. Your back hits the forest floor, hands and legs immediately punching and kicking at the large animal, voice crying out for the other person that went there with you. No. You can't die. But your pleas aren't met with words, just low, sad whines from the creature above you, it's large paws wrapping around your body to keep your arms pinned to your body, it's hold firm, yet not bruising. You finally look up, being met with a pair of green eyes, the pupils dilated so far the green was barely visible. The big, wolf like creature was standing on it's hind legs, hunched over your much smaller figure with its ears pinned back. The adrenaline finally died down allowing you to connect the dots.
Oh.
The nervousness, the eyes, the way the creature looked at you. It finally clicked together. “Julias?” You question, eyes searching his before he leans down, answering your question with an affectionate lick to your neck, causing you to shiver slightly. You could hardly believe it. This had to be a dream, right? A twisted fantasy of your mind that played on your secret love for the nonhuman. But no, it was real. And even through the days you poured into fantasizing about a moment like this, you didn't say any of the multiple cheesy confessions you have thought of over the years. Instead, you gently reached out, his hands letting yours go now that you weren't fighting like a mouse in a cat's grip, and gently touched his snout, watching as he nuzzled into it, an apologetic look in his eyes as you watched him with fascination, your other hand gently digging into his fur.
“You're beautiful.” Was all you could whisper, more to yourself than to him, accepting the following wave of affectionate licks and whines with enthusiasm.
The series masterlist
#monster fucker#monster fudger#monster#monster lover#monster fuqqer#werewolves#werewolf lover#werewolf#werewolf fluff#werewolf fucker#werewolf fic
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Getaway Car
↝a/n: y'all voted! Set in Season 3.
↝pairing: Steve Harrington x FEM!reader
↝ warning: angst, not proofread, Billy is mentioned, mention of alcohol, physical abuse, inappropriate comments about reader, talk about cheating, breakup
↝⎙ 6.6.23
"maybe later, pretty boy."
You winked at Steve across the counter, before walking towards the door, ice scream in hand.
"Woah." He turned around, looking at a wide-eyed Robin.
"What?"
"Mr. y/l/n would beat you to pulp if he knew you were flirting with his daughter." Your father was a very intimidating guy, an ex-sheriff, actually. Rumor has it that he beat a guy so much that he got fired, and that offered up a spot for Hopper to take the duty of Sheriff. The guy never seemed to have a smile on his face.
"Relax, it was just a little harmless banter, Buckley."
"Yeah? Tell that to her boyfriend."
Steve's eyebrows furrowed, following Robin's finger when she pointed towards the glass windows.
You stood in front of Billy Hargrove, kissing his cheek after giving him his ice cream. "You've got to be kidding me."
The guy sweeps in, takes Steve's spot in popularity, insults his-then-girlfriend, and now has the girl Steve has had his eye on since he could remember. Steve hated that guy.
They both watched as Billy shrugged you off, taking a few licks of his icecream before throwing it in the trashcan.
Yep, hate that guy.
•••••
"Y/n?" Steve had seen someone walking down the side of the road, raining pouring down, causing him to stop when he got close enough to notice the jacket.
You turned your head the other way, sniffling before fixing your posture, rain soaking you. "Y/n, what are you doing? Get in the car."
The car slowed right beside you, Steve trying to look at you and the road. "C'mon, y/l/n." But you never stopped. Steve parked the car fully, jumping out and jogging around the car. He stood in front of you, not letting you past. The rain soaked his hair, falling into his eyelashes and down his cheeks. "You're gonna get sick."
You spilled apology after apology as you sat in his passenger seat. "I'm getting your seat wet." You whined, buckling.
Steve chuckled, "so am I- it's fine."
Silence laid on the car as if it was a thick blanket.
Steve turned onto your road, stopping when you had an outburst. "No! Uh, I don't wanna go home." Steve stared at your side profile for a few seconds before pulling into a driveway and turning back.
"My house? I can fix food." It would be a lie to say you weren't hungry, especially when Steve had heard your stomach growl when you first got in the car.
There wasn't much more talking on the way to his house.
Steve turned at your gasp, seeing you in his dry shirt and sweatpants, he didn't even notice the can in your hands. Farrah Fawcett hairspray. "My mom uses this." He ignored the playful smirk on your face, turning back to the microwave.
He brought the pate over to the table after it was done, hissing as his finger skimmed the bottom of the plate. "Watch it, it's hot."
"I wonder why."
"Sorry I only had day old pizza. I don't know how to cook." There was that sweet smile that Steve could look at for the rest of his life.
"It's good."
•••••
"Are you kidding?" Steve stared at Robin, who just told him about the fight she had seen you and Billy have in the parking lot at school. "Why'd she get back in the car?" After hearing how he yelled at you, calling you all kinds of name, Steve hated how you still got in the car, letting him drive you back to his place probably.
Speaking of the devil.
You strolled in, a smile gracing your face as you made eye contact with the boy. Robin knocked on the table with her knuckles a few times before smiling, "regular?" After you nodded she was off, leaving you two to chat. "So-"
"So." Your eyes widened at his flat, cold tone.
"Who pissed in your Cheerios?" His eyes glanced all over your face, down your neck. He saw the bruise- the hickey.
He scoffed, looking at his hands before looking back up. "What are you doing?" He saw how you were confused, not knowing how to respond. "He's a dick. Leave him."
Now knowing what was going on, you took a step back, smile falling. "Don't start."
"He yelled at you- no man should ever raise their voice, especially at you."
"It's not you business, okay?!" The other people in the shop turned, just as Robin walked back over. You took the ice cream, slamming money on the counter before walking out. Steve watched you, a frown plastered on his face.
A sudden hit at the back of his head made him yelp, staring Robin down. "Stupid." Robin rolled her eyes before going to get the next person's order.
•••••
"He just stood there. No emotion whatsoever." You rolled your eyes, looking up as more tears rolled down your cheeks. It wasn't a surprise that Billy had been fucking another girl. It still hurts to see how it effected you. He wasn't cruel enough to tell you 'i told you so'. He simply pushed the bowl of ice cream closer. You turned, looking at him teary-eyed. "I should've listened I just... I loved him."
The air got caught in Steve's throat. He swallowed as more tears fell.
His hand raised, his fingers gliding across your soft cheek, wiping the tears away.
As his hand dropped, he looked back at your eyes, seeing their doe-like innocence looking back at him. "Make me forget I ever looked at him."
"What?" He wasn't sure if he heard you right, with the people around the booth and the fact your voice was nearly a whisper.
"Please, Steve. Make me forget him."
•••••
"What? We're just over?!"
Steve's head shot up, seeing you walking fast towards his car, Billy right behind you. "You cheated, William! You don't get to be mad at me!" Steve got out of the car as you turned around, poking Billy's chest with almost every word. "I told you that I didn't like how she looked at you. I told you how she made me feel ugly compared to her! You just brushed it off, making me feel stupid."
Unknown to them, you had seen how your father acted, seeing the same sign in Billy. But you didn't want to believe it. Didn't want to seem as weak and stupid as your mother felt the first time her husband had cheated.
"Get off my dick, woman! Maybe if you weren't all over me all the time, I wouldn't have felt so suffocated." As Billy's hand went to your shoulder to push you back, Steve was behind you, hand going to your sides to help keep your balance.
"hey, chill out, man." Steve's nostrils flared, glaring at the mullet wearing dick. Billy looked between the two of you, before chuckling.
"Really? Harrington?" He scoffed before turning around. "Whatever," he walked a few steps away before continuing. "Bitch." Before Steve could go after him, your hand was in his, leading him back to the car. Before you knew it, the car was steamed up and the two of you were panting through a heavy makeout.
•••••
"Y/n, she just dropped something off. I swear." You couldn't help the doubts that clouded your mind. Nancy was pretty. They had a past. You weren't completely crazy for waiting for the signs. Were you?
"I don't know if I can do this." Steve stopped talking, staring at you.
"No. Y/n, look, I promise. Baby, please." He knew thoughts were racing through you mind, not stopping for anything no matter how much you wanted them to.
Steve reached forward, taking your hands in his. "I'm not him, okay." You knew he meant Billy but you thought of your dad. How little he made your mom feel, how he would gaslight her into thinking she was crazy after knowing he would go out, staying late into the night with another woman.
"Prove it."
"What?" He was confused for a second, just looking at your face. But you never elaborated. Before he knew it, he fell down to his knees, kissing your belly before raising your shirt. "I love you." He muttered against the skin under your belly button.
•••••
It was the moments where you wore the biggest, brightest smile that Steve knew he was doing something right. He'd do anything, give anything to always have you smiling like you were now. Wind blowing through your hair as you watched the trees blur by. "You're so beautiful." You turned, a blush painting your cheeks at his random comment.
"Eyes on the road, Harrington." He reached over, laying a hand on your thigh before squeezing it. He would never understand how anyone would want to hurt you, emotionally or physically. He thought back to the time he had taken you to your house to get some more clothes to spend the night. You had told him to stay in the car as you ran in, saying you'd only be a minute. He watched the door for you, and seen you open the door, going to step out before you quickly turned around, face dropping before a hand pulled your hair, pulling you back to the house. The door shut by the time Steve was out of the car, running to the porch. He had run straight in, seeing your hand standing over you, tears running down your face as you stood hunkering down. Steve had quickly gathered you up when you dad went to get another drink, his breath already reeking of alcohol. Steve never wanted you to go back.
•••••
Ignore him. Just ignore him. Steve kept having to remind himself, a taunting Billy at the end of the aisle. "She was the best ass I've ever had, honestly." One of Billy's buddies had cackled at that, not really knowing exactly that Billy had seen Steve and just wanted to rile the man up. "Yeah, Y/L/N's a special one, I'll tell you that."
"Why don't you keep her name out of your mouth, huh, Hargrove?" He dropped the bag of chips back on the shelf, turning to glare.
Billy laughed, stepping closer. "Tell me," he stepped even closer, shoulders squared. His voice was quiet as he got in Steve's face. "Has she screamed my name yet?"
"Steven!" You gasped, seeing the bruise forming around his eye when he stepped through the door.
"I didn't know getting a bag of chips would be this dangerous." Steve dryly chuckled as you tried to lighten the mood and held an icepack to his eye.
"What happened?" He knew you. He knew how you would react to hearing what happen. He knew how you'd blame yourself, being hard on yourself when it wasn't your fault. But he couldn't bring himself to lie to you. Your hands stopped playing with his hair as he told you, watching your face drop.
•••••
"I can't do this anymore."
Steve knew you could, knew you wanted to. He knew you were lying. It was so sudden, Steve wondered what had happened in such a short time. You two were just cuddling, naked bodies under his covers. And now you sat beside him in his car, tears threatening to escape. "Steve, I want to break up."
"What happened?" He glanced up at the house, your house. Your father wasn't supposed to be home, his truck wasn't in the drive way. He couldn't of been here to tell you to end things. Everything was fine, atleast it was in Steve's mind.
"I just don't see us working out." You lied through your teeth, Steve could tell. You hadn't looked him in the eye since you sat in his seat. He reached over, grabbing your hand like he had so many times through your relationship, it felt as if they fit right in each other- like a puzzle piece.
"I don't believe you."
"Damnit, Steve!" You threw your hands up, dropping his hand as Steve flinched at your outburst. "I don't want to be with you, why can't you just let me break up with you." Before he could respond, you were getting out of the car, slamming the door before running up to your house and slamming the front door.
Steve just say there, not knowing what to do.
•2021-2024 by xoxo-sarah on Tumblr•
•My work is not to be translated, copied, modified, and/or reposted on any other site without my permission. [!I don't give permission!]
#Spotify#angst#stranger things angst#steve harrington angst#steve harrington imagine#steve harrington fluff#steve harrington x reader#steve harrington#steve harrington fanfic#stranger things fanfic#stranger things imagine#stranger things x reader#steve x reader#stranger things#🕶️#xoxo-sarah 🩷
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A Calivada Essay in Song Lyrics
Lowkey inspired by @sleepdeprivedsimp234's song lyrics posts I decided to let my instincts win and put together a post full of song lyrics that are Calivada-coded to me. (Since the latest episode got me fully back on my Calivada bullshit. You could say they took a high-speed rail straight into my heart. )
The songs are roughly in order with how I picture the progression of their relationship. It starts with the early days of the Gold and Silver rushes and the Wild West, marked with periods of stormy and reckless whirlwind romance. Then it progresses into the early 20th century, with them growing apart, and yet together: Nevada finding his identity in casinos and sin, and California giving into the hedonism of Hollywood. Somewhere along the line, they became on-and-off again FWB, coming together when they're drunk, or lonely, or hopeless... or all of the above, locked in a frankly toxic and tumultuous co-dependent relationship. Not quite enemies, not quite lovers, definitely not friends... (or so they'll say).
Just... them. Anyway...
A bunch of these have been compiled from suggestions from various people over the past year-ish and some are just my shitty millennial taste in mid-2000s pop rock.
Link to actual playlist here
PART 1: "We're meant to be together like silver and gold"
California and Nevada meet for the first time. There's an immediate attraction to each other-- is it really love or is it simply a lust for the sparkle of silver and gold? Either way, it's a force of nature when they come together.
Silver and Gold- Parade of Lights (Cali's perspective)
Can you let me in if I take you home? / I'm never giving up 'cause I can't let go / I feel it in the air, feel it in my bones / We're meant to be together like silver and gold
Silver Stallion- The Highwaymen (Cali's perspective)
I'm gonna find me a reckless woman / Razor blades and dice in her eyes / Just a touch of sadness in her fingers / Thunder and lightning in her thighs
And we're gonna ride / We're gonna ride / Ride like the one eyed jack of diamonds with the devil close behind / We're gonna ride
Reckless Love- Bleachers (Nevada's perspective)
So give me a chance to remember / What I've given up to defend ya / I would burn my dreams away / Just to stand in the thankless shadows of your reckless love
gold rush- Taylor Swift (Nevada's perspective)
What must it be like / To grow up that beautiful? / With your hair falling into place like dominos / I see me padding 'cross your wooden floors / With my [49ers] t-shirt hanging from the door / At dinner parties / I call you out on your contrarian shit / And the coastal town We wandered 'round had never / Seen a love as pure as it / And then it fades into the gray of my day old tea / 'Cause you know it could never be
Stardust- MIKA (Nevada's perspective)
I could put a little stardust in your eyes / Put a little sunshine in your life / Give me a little hope that you'll feel the same And I wanna know if I'll see you again / See you again Funny how the time is rushing by / And all the little things we leave behind / But even then, in everything I do / Is a little bit of me, a little bit of you / When will I see you again?
Addict- Silva Hound (I think this is from Hazbin Hotel lmao) (Nevada's perspective)
So what if I misbehave? It's what everybody craves / You already know / So come if you're feeling brave / And fancy yourself a mate
You want it, I got it, see what you like? / We could have it all by the end of the night / Your money and power, my sinful delight / A hit of that heaven and hell, a hell of a high
PART 2: "We are brief summer lightning (we are sparks that spiral upwards in the darkness in the night)"
As they spend more time together, their affection for each other grows. They'll deny that they were ever in love, but the history between them doesn't lie.
Wild as You- Cody Johnson (Cali's perspective)
You're like wakin' in the morning by a mountain stream / You're like watchin' an eagle floating on the breeze / And as I listen to you dreaming by my side / I wish I could call you mine
But you belong where the four winds blow / Out where the untamed mustang roam / Like a sweet summer rain passin' through / Never seen anything wild as you
Hymn for the Weekend- Coldplay (Cali's perspective)
Oh, angel sent from up above / You know you make my world light up / When I was down, when I was hurt / You came to lift me up / Life is a drink and love's a drug / Oh, now I think I must be miles up / When I was a river, dried up / You came to rain a flood
Summer Lightning- Garnet Rogers (Nevada's perspective)
We are brief as summer lightning / We are swift as swallow's flight // We are sparks that spiral upward in the darkness in the night / We are frost upon a window / We won't pass this way again / In the end only love remains
Peaceful Easy Feeling- The Eagles (Cali's perspective)
I like the way your sparkling earrings lay against your skin so brown / I wanna sleep with you in the desert tonight / With a billion stars all around
Death Valley Queen- Flogging Molly (Nevada's perspective)
Death valley queen where have you been? / Since they crowned you in glory / Filled your head with dreams / But it still goes to show in every desert / There's a rose that's bloomin' for all to be seen
House of Memories- Panic! At the Disco (Nevada's perspective)
Those thoughts of past lovers, they'll always haunt me / I wish I could believe you'd never wrong me / Then will you remember me in the same way as I remember you?
Baby, we built this house on memories / Take my picture now, shake it 'til you see it / And when your fantasies become your legacy Promise me a place / In your house of memories
Joy Ride- The Killers
(I showed enough restraint to wait until ALL THE WAY DOWN HERE to include a Killers song. Y'all should be proud /s )
It's gettin' close to sundown over the Sierra / Stranded on the heatwave, burnin' with desire / She was on the sidewalk, looking for a nightlife / We talked about the real things and drove into the fire
Headlights on the highway, the desert wind is howlin' / Rattlesnakes and romance are spillin' with the rain / Candy apple red dress, bleedin' when she kissed me / Heaven a ragtop, take away my pain
PART 3: "Just call me angel of the morning, angel..."
The relationship has lost its initial shine and turned tumultuous. Difference in personality emerge and disagreements become common. And yet, they still can't keep their hands off each other... maybe they both like the drama. They are both performers, after all...
The Way it Was- The Killers (Nevada's perspective)
I drove through the desert last night / I carried the weight of our last fight / Elvis singing "don't be cruel" / And I wonder if you feel it too / It's like we're going under
Somewhere outside the lonely Esmeralda county line / The question of my heart came to my mind
If I go on with you by my side / Can it be the way it was when we met? / Did you forget all about those golden nights?
Bend and Break- FM-84 feat. Ollie Wride (Cali's perspective)
Leave your reason at the door / 'Cause the writing's on the wall / The sunshine's gone / Maybe it's too soon to call / But we've both been here before , so I'm waiting on
No our music it ain't done, 'cause I found our revelry / In the highways and the dancehalls that filled our history
Angel of the Morning- Juice Newton (Nevada's perspective)
There'll be no strings to bind your hands / Not if my love can't bind your heart / There's no need to take a stand / For it was I who chose to start / I see no need to take me home / I'm old enough to face the dawn
Just call me angel of the morning, angel / Just touch my cheek before you leave me, baby / Just call me angel of the morning, angel / Then slowly turn away from me
Body- Jordan Suaste (1st part- Cali's perspective; 2nd part- Nevada's perspective)
Body, let me see your body / Take off all your makeup and your clothes / Trust me, why don't you just trust me? / You're the only beauty, show me more
You're not a dime a dozen / Oh, your skin is golden / Let me show the whole damn world / You're one in a billion / The only thing you're missin' / Is some tape over that mouth
BABY SAID- Maneskin (Cali's perspective; Nevada is "baby")
Baby said "When you're talking, I go dead" "Shut your mouth, give me your head" (uh-uh-uh-uh) I know you really want to Baby said "Let me taste your silhouette" "You can talk between my legs" (uh-uh-uh-uh) I know you really want to
Faithless- The Airborne Toxic Event (Cali's perspective)
I wake up early my head ain't right / It's the fever dream of what we did last night / I flex my fingers and feel my age / Fifteen minutes till we take the stage / And I call you when I wake up drunk / My arms are cold and my head is sunk / They say the lights go up at ten PM / Just make sure you're okay by then
Neon Medusa- The Midnight (Either one tbh)
It's a highway, highway to the dark / And a neon medusa's got your heart / Sweet canyon lullabies, don't look straight into its eyes
Alone Together- Fall Out Boy (Both)
Cut me off, I lost my track / It's not my fault, I'm a maniac / It's not funny anymore, no it's not / My heart is like a stallion / They love it more when it's broken / Do you wanna feel beautiful, do you wanna? / I'm outside the door, invite me in / So we can go back and play pretend
and also
This is the road to ruin, and we're starting at the end
PART 4: "I only love you when I'm drunk"
Fast-forward to today (well, the past few decades, really), and they're THOSE TWO drama-Filled Frenemies With Benefits (although the benefits are debatable at this point).
Jilted Lovers and Broken Hearts- The Killers (Nevada's perspective)
Why did you roll your dice, show your cards? / Jilted lovers and broken hearts / You're out on the wind and I'm still waiting to be found
Yeah, will I ever win? / Only time will tell / You've gotta suffer to remember how well / That our ideals never really marched in time / That's the bottom line / Jilted lovers and broken hearts
Getting Even- White Lies (Cali's perspective)
If you're getting even, you're getting even / Trying to get even, better start believing / I can forgive and we can forget / Even after all this wrestling of conscience / I can forgive and we can forget / Even after all this love and other nonsense
Love You When I'm Drunk- MIKA (Both)
Don't get me wrong, last night I didn't change my mind / It was the drink, it was leaving me blind / And when I kissed you, it was such a big mistake / A couple drinks, that's the chance that I take
We All Get Lonely- The Wrecks feat. TOMI (Nevada's perspective)
You're so in love with self-destruction / You're bringing me down
Why'd you come over? / Are you sober? / Are you playing around?
You touch me gently / But it's empty / You should figure it out
Don't say, say you love me, need me / Until you've had your fun / Use me when you get lonely / We all get lonely / You're not the only one
FUCK ABOUT IT- Waterparks (Nevada's perspective)
I like you but I need some space / I like you kinda far away / It's not hard to kill a day lookin' at your face / I like you but I need some room / Been givin' me your attitude / It doesn't always stay that way / I hate the aftertaste
Ancient History- Set it Off (Both)
Damn, pick up the phone, I know I'm drunk again / And you, know my intentions 'cause it's two a.m. / It's fun and games until we both get hurt / We play with fire 'cause we like the way it burns / No use in patching up a sinking ship / This is the last time we do this, baby / This is the last time you taste my lips
I know, I know how to drive you wild / You know, you know how to make me smile / But I need you to be / My ancient history
I know, I know who you really are / You know, you know how to break my heart / But I need you to be / My ancient history
Walk Me Home- P!nk (California's perspective-- despite everything that's happened between them, he still goes to Nevada when he's hurt and lonely)
Walk me home in the dead of night / I can't be alone with all that's on my mind / So say you'll stay with me tonight / 'Cause there's so much wrong going on outside
Till It Shines- Bob Seger (Nevada's perspective; reflecting on California's loneliness)
Storm the walls around this prison / Leave the inmates, free the guards / Deal me up another future / From some brand new deck of cards
Take the chip off of my shoulder / Smooth out all the lines / Take me out among the rustling pines / 'Til it shines / Oh 'til it shines
Like an echo down a canyon / Never coming back as clear / Lately I just judge the distance / Not the words I hear
and this part:
See the rich man lost and lonely / Watch him as he dines / Sitting there just testing all the wines / 'Til it shines
AND OF COURSE...
Waking Up in Vegas- Katy Perry
I think this one speaks for itself, BUT...
Spare me your freakin' dirty looks / Now don't blame me / You want to cash out / And get the hell outta town / Don't be a baby / Remember what you told me
Shut up and put your money where your mouth is / That's what you get for waking up in Vegas / Get up and shake the glitter off your clothes now / That's what you get for waking up in Vegas
#i MAY have thought about this a bit...#these two always live rent-free in my head#wttt calivada#long post#song headcanons#wttt california#wttt nevada#mur headcanons#yeah i went a lil bit unhinged on my love for calivada#i can't help it#wttt#welcome to the table
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Seeing the amnesiac MC prompts made me wonder how things would turn out if the said MC starts romancing them/shows romantic interest towards them. Like the 2nd prompt before, either do a random RO or general ROs reaction ask.
Your answered prompts are wonderful btw ❤️
Aww thanks, anon (*・ω・)
~•~•~
All this time and still I need Another minute I've been trying to retrieve A blurry moment
[...]
All of the names sketched in my head Are blurring away to the outer edge And all of these old rags that I kept Are coming with me just like I said And your lovely silhouette
– Silhouette - Devil and the Deep Blue Sea
~•~•~
Feelings are fucking weird, man.
One day you wake up to a jaded girl with pastel pink hair who you don't know, then the next you're suddenly falling neck deep in love.
What the hell.
It was on one sunny afternoon when those feelings cemented. You're in one of the local greenhouses in the Stems district with her. She asked if you wanted to come buy succulents and mini terarriums with her, and of course, you said yes. Your feelings took more control than your rational, of course. Being struck by cupid lets a lovefool like you do such foolish things.
You can't really help but glance over at her every now and then and question how she's not even sweating under her dark attire. Black turtleneck shirt, her blue amulet, dark gray shorts that reach her mid thigh, and black loafers—you're just in a regular cotton shirt and some jeans with worn out sneakers compared to her high end fit.
...
It kind of feels nostalgic.
Like you've been several times here before with her.
She picks up a small pot with a little cactus on it shaped like some prickly orange, and pauses for a moment. Her finger taps on the side of the pot as she gazes down at the cactus deep in thought.
"You okay?" You ask her after putting down a small flower-shaped succulent.
"I'm fine." Fleur replies in her ever soft tone, and looks back at you. "Just remembered something."
"Is it something good?"
"You can say that." She looks back at the cactus. "You called me a cactus before."
You grimace. "I didn't mean that as an insult, did I?"
"No, it was... sweet, actually. "Prickly as you may be, there will be those few who will love and take care of you"." Fleur adds the little cactus to her small cart full of other succulents. "You were always the poetic kind."
"More like dramatic" You snort and start following her down to an aisle full of pots. Fleur simply hums, which gently ends the small conversation. You slow down in your pace as look at the pots; some ceramic, others plastic, minimalist to intricately designed. Though one has caught your eye.
It's a beige ceramic pot, with the words: "You make me bloom" on it. This is clearly one meant for lovers, judging by the cheesy pun. Your face heats up at the thought of giving it to Fleur as a gift somewhere in the future, and you quickly avert your gaze from it.
For a moment you pondered on confessing your feelings that way. It would make things less awkward and less word fumbling for you, plus it's a usable thing which gives the pot a double purpose.
You look back at the pot, considering the thought.
That's a good plan, right?
"Something caught your eye?" You jump in surprise upon hearing Fleur, and you're met with her dark brown gaze.
"Uh, yeah." You quickly reply, trying to gather your composure as you clear your throat. "Just a pot I thought was cool."
Before you knew it your hands were already moving to pick up the pot, and showing it to Fleur. "It's this one." You say, voice small and cheeks heating up even more as you realized what you've just done. You refuse to even look at her reaction.
She looks down at the pot, a simple "oh" leaving her.
Then there was a pregnant pause.
You can't help but squirm a bit in place as the pause turns a bit awkward. Fleur doesn't seem fazed, however, she does look back at you.
"It's funny," she starts, arms crossing on top of her midriff, "because you've confessed your feelings to me just like this before."
Wait, what.
You look at her, eyes widening. "What."
She hums in confirmation, looking back at you with an unfazed expression, "Same greenhouse, same aisle, though the pot read "Be my clover" instead."
You stare at her dumbfounded. Were you that predictable? Has she always known about your feelings? If so, how long has she—
"You're not as subtle with your expressions as you think you are," Fleur states, as if hearing your thoughts.
Your face eventually forms into a small frown. "Well, damn, you could've told me that I was that easy to read, Fleur."
She simply shrugs. "I rather let you figure it out on your own." Fleur glances away for a moment. "Though I did think that your confession is still a bit... adorable, despite seeing it already before."
You see the faintest hint of red dust her cheeks.
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Sharing is caring, isn't it? - A Dante/Vergil, Dante/Nero, Dante/Vergil/Nero- FF
Chapter 1: Declaration of War and the first Date
Dante’s day started like any other if he was honest with himself. Lady had kicked him out of bed way too early because she had some annoying mission for him. He wanted to refuse, like always, but Lady was some scary woman and he really didn't want to get castrated by her someday. Maybe his dick would come in handy sometime in the future.
Dante sighed as he was sitting in his car and on the way to this little nameless town.
Hopefully this is going to be some easy mission.
It didn't took him too long to get there, but something was off. Dante parked the car and wandered the streets, looking for citizens. Who would give them a mission if nobody lived here? Dante groaned. Of course this shitty mission had to be complicated, not even once had one of Ladys missions been easy. He should've known better.
Hours later the demon hunter was covered in blood, most of it not even his this time, and he considered his mission as done. The demon horde slaughtered, as well as the whole population of this unfortunate city, he made his way back to his car. Lucky for him that he had parked it in some safe distance.
"Finally home." Dante sighed, actually exhausted and in need of a long shower. Too bad that there were two guys waiting for him. And currently trying to chop each other’s heads off while doing so.
"He's mine, you fucking prick!"
Nero growling at someone was the first thing Dante heard when he opened the door.
"What should he want with some brat like you?" A cold voice echoed through the air, made Dante shiver, even though he couldn't believe to actually hear this voice.
He opened the door completely and entered the shop.
"Nero ... Vergil... what are you two doing here?" He asked confused, while looking at them, weapons drawn and ready to kill each other.
Nero was aiming Blue Rose at his head and Vergil had summoned a bunch of his spiritual swords that circled around Neros head.
"I just came here to visit you. To ask you something. But this asshat here had to insult me the moment I came in. Who is he, Dante?", the young part-demon answered his question.
Vergil just growled, not happy about the insult, and answered as well:
"I waited some time for you in here. Came to reclaim what's mine."
Dante groaned. "I don't have your sword, Vergil. You can leave. Nero, stop aiming at him with your gun. You're not gonna hit him anyway."
His brother appeared right in front of him after he had ended.
"I'm not talking about Yamato, brother.", he told him in a cold, but almost seductive voice, which made Dante shiver slightly, "I'm talking about you."
Nero grabbed him just seconds later, kinda catching him off guard by using his Devil Bringer and growled at him.
"Hands off, you perverted old man! What the fuck do you mean with "brother"?! Also he's mine!"
Dante was just utterly confused. What the fuck was happening right now? What were they talking about?!
He felt the shift in Vergil’s arcane energy more than he was able to see it. The various summoned swords that attempted to stab Nero got shot by the devil hunter.
"Okay, seriously. Stop it, both of you!", he growled at them.
"You,", he looked at the kid, "Let go of Vergil."
Then he looked at said half demon.
"And you stop throwing around your summoned swords."
Both of them followed his orders, even if just reluctantly.
"Great, now place your fucking asses on the couch and tell me what the fuck you want from me."
Nero put his weapons away, pulled the sleeve of his hoodie over his demonic arm and did as he'd been told.
Vergil on the other hand wasn't obedient like that, not at all. He walked over to Dantes desk and sat down on it, looking as majestic as possible while doing it, even crossing his legs.
Dante looked at Nero, sighed and let himself fall onto the couch right beside him, just slightly touching him. This caused Vergil to growl deeply.
"Kiddo, what happened here while I was gone?"
"That asshole over there happened.", he snapped at him, not answering the question at all.
"Okay, Vergil. What the fuck are you doing here? I thought you were...".
Dante’s voice turned into a sad whisper.
"Dead? Still corrupted? A slave in hell?", said not-so-dead guy answered in a sarcastic tone, "No, I have to disappoint. I'm pretty much alive. And I'm here to reclaim what's mine. But this... child... is all barks about you being his, no bite though."
He had listened, heard the words... just the meaning was still not clear to him.
Reclaim? Being his?
His twin knew that Dante didn't get the memo, so he decided to take it even a step further.
"Today's Valentine’s Day, you idiot. Both of us wanted to ask you to go on a date with us.", Vergil told him, voice cold and indifferent as always. While the other one’s head literally exploded at this statement, he looked like he just had said something about the weather or some other trivial stuff.
"A... date?", Dante whispered, voice just barely hearable.
"Yeah, now decide. Tell the kid he should get lost."
He just shook his head. There was no way in hell he could choose between both of them. Right now. Without having time to think it over. Hell, this was his brother. Who he always thought was dead. Turns out he was wrong about that. And then there was also Nero. His... brother’s son. His nephew. And they wanted to go on a date with him?! Because of some stupid unofficial holiday like Valentine’s Day?
"Okay, I got it. Both of you. You try to make fun of me.", Dante concluded and looked at them, "You want to get some payback, am I right?"
Vergil groaned, while Nero just sighed.
"Once an idiot, always an idiot, I guess.", the older twin stated matter of factly.
Then he looked at his son. Dante contemplated if Vergil actually knew about that fact. The way he acted he was almost 100% sure that he didn't. Also wasn't he aware of the fact that Nero was in possession of his beloved sword.
"What do you think of some sort of competition? Even if I already know who's gonna win it."
Nero smirked. "Good that you already admit defeat before even attempting to try.", he taunted, "But please. Let me hear about that "competition"."
Vergil just let out a slight huff of amusement at that and continued to explain his idea.
"We both take him out. On the date we planned. One of us now and the other one afterwards. Sometime in the late evening."
Nero nodded and thought about that for a moment.
"Sounds like a pretty nice idea. Seems like you got the brains while Dante got the good looks."
"We look exactly the same, you immature brat.", the older twin muttered in annoyance, before turning to Dante.
"As I couldn't care less who goes first, I gonna let you decide."
Said half-demon was at loss, looking dumbfounded from one to the other. What the fuck did just happen? Did they just...?
And now I should decide?!
-> read the rest on AO3 - link in the header 😊
#dmc#dante#danero#vergil#nero#dante/vergil#dante/vergil/nero#various endings#for various tastes#<3#ff#ao3
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orite the first fic in over a year that i have not touched AT ALL prior to its release buckle up i am READY for this rollercoaster 🎢
ahh yes starting with the motif >:DDDD we starting off strong with the theme of good and evil already i c i c
okay but also before i read any further let me just say you cooked real good with this fic like just the mashup of tropes together and the plot twists that i know are coming ?? iNCREDIBLE COOKING I MUST SAY YOU DO IT EVERY SINGLE TIME
mad scientist characterisation i'm loving it already the way i can literally /understand/ reader's reasoning behind extracting angel essence in the name of enhancing their drugs
two devils LMAO but you're so right about seonghwa being both a devil AND an angel ugh his duality is just >>>>> chef's kiss
IT'S NOT A FUCKING BIRTHDAY PARTY I AM DEADDDD
i love the backstory you have that seonghwa and reader share even if you've only given a glimpse (so far ?) bc NOW WE TALKIN they ain't just some simple business partners they have ✨history✨
damn also why is little bird giving erebos I MISS MY MAN SO BAD but yes am i tripping or did hala also have the same nickname and WHY DOES IT WORK SO WELL ??
*places food on hwa's rice bowl* food for thought 🤪💭
seonghwa still fighting for dominance rawr he can fight for dominance with me and i'd let him win i mean what? who said that
damn okay we going deep with the morals and how you weigh your morals and all the human emotions talk i love a bit of existential crisis too thanks
are you not a shame to the medical community daMN OKAY YOU POPPED OFF GIRLIE idk why but this line just hits like how many advances in medicine were made by unethical methods, and how many of those methods were overlooked because they led to advances? food for thought
and it's scary to know there are people who actually don't see a problem with what they're doing because it is for the greater good aka reader even though she feels hurt
OOOH YES YES OMG IT'S THE ONE SCENE I READ OOOH YES OMG I LOVE WHEN SEONGHWA TAKES BACK OVER HE'S SO HOT ALL ANGRY AND RILED UP RAHHHHH 👹👹👹👹👹👹 PLUS THE MATZ TATT RAHHHH I NEED HIM SO BAD
angel baby PFFTTTTT not you using his cover like this PLEASE
ugh the lore and world building you've created for this with the essence and using angel/demon essence in the drugs and stuff pls i wanna kiss your brain
HWAAAAAA THE ANGEL IS CALLED HWAAA WE CHEERRRRRR but also that's why i've only been able to refer to seonghwa as seonghwa bc we need to have the distinction and my fingers keep itching to type hwa :')))
NOT BIG BAD MAFIA BOSS SEONGHWA HAVING TO POKE YOU LIKE A SIX YEAR OLD BOY WITH A PUPPY CRUSH I AM CRYINNGGGGGG
damn i can see why reader falls for hwa like the CUDDLES ??? THAT SEONGHWA NEVER GAVE HER ??? don't talk about angel hwa READER IS TOUCH-STARVED BRO
ooooooohhhh the angel dilemma has started >:DDD greed and wanting to feel human >:DDDD yknow what this is giving it's giving cryberpunk again but also the og cryberpunk where droid jongho is fixated on learning love and emotions
oh damn that's interesting the fact that there is desire in hwa to sin therefore capable of being evil despite him being an angel and correlated to pure goodness
BIG BAD MAFIA BOSS IS JEAALLOOUUUUSSSSSSSSS NOT HIM BRIGNING UP THE WORSHIPPING OF YOUR HANDS ABJFHBSFKGJG HE SAUUURRR JEALOUSSSS PLSSSSS YOU'RE NOT SLEEK SEONGHWA
oh OH OH HHHHOo OHOHOHOOOOo YOOOO as reader was saying all that about just playing along with hwa i was like damn you not scared of him hearing even though seonghwa's in control?? BUT NAH YOU WENT WORSE SEONGHWA TURNED INTO HWA OH DAMN but also like reader gurl not her being double faced and trying to be on good terms with them both (me too girlie me too, i would want them both too it's okay)
FALLEN ANGEL HWA READY TO RISK IT ALL FOR THE SIN BISCUIT CALLED YN OHH THEY KISS AND OH NOT HWA CHECKING OUT YOUR BODY AFTER YOU FALL INTO THE POOL hwa you bad bad boy omg
i do not need to fly if i am with you STOPPPP WHO'S CRYING NOT ME 😭🫵
OMG DEAD it's the scene with one of the very first ideas you came up with the freshening up but scared to say it outright and then seonghwa just walks around with a big fat kiss stain HAH SERVES HIM RIGHT
awww seonghwa not wanting to wake up or deal with the results of what you and hwa have been up to, but wanting to be the one to do it to you :')))
ugh seonghwa just needs to man up and KITH READER LIKE GIVE HER SOME LOVE THE GIRLIE IS TOUCH STARVED
HONGJOONG. YOU. HOW DARE YOU. HOW DARE YOU WRING MY HEART WITH A SOB STORY OF HONGJOONG AND SEONGHWA'S BROTHERLY BOND. but GOD him covered in soot and blood but smiling like a free spirit why is this just HIM. i love this it may be my favourite imagery so far
ALKJFDHGDSGLJH how DARE you just OFF HIM LIKE THAT. 😭🫵
YOOO YES MAD SCIENTIST READER USING UNETHICAL METHODS IN THE NAME OF SCIENCE AND RESEARCH >:DD I LOVE MORALLY BLACK CHARACTERS and god when i requested you use sweet home mad scientist vibes you really went all out and implanted the same crazy passion i am in laurv YES USE THE POOR ORPHANS AS TEST SUBJECTS GO MORALLY BLACKER THAN BLACK >:DDD
dead me writing about how being on the [redacted] and playing [redacted] makes my reader and the boys feel alive and then there's your reader doing her experiments on dead and live subjects and feeling the most alive HAHAHAHA
THE JUXTAPOSITION beautiful but tainted with blood and sin aND NOT READER'S EYES SPARKLING WHILST THE PEOPLE ARE LITERALLY DYING AT HER HANDS damn you really cooked hard with her characterisation have i said this already because you really cooked hard
omg and reader being like i'm a demon and here we have the angel falling in love with that very demon YO AND READER BEING LIKE this is who i am, i'm not going to become a better person I LOVE HOW THE PLOT NEVER GOES THE WAY WE WANT/EXPECT IT TO like YES DON'T GIVE THE CHARACTERS A REDEMPTION ARC WHO SAID THEY ALWAYS HAVE TO CHANGE FOR THE BETTER???? NOT YUMI THAT'S FO SHO
OOOFFF angels cannot lie but they can hide the truth OOOOOFFF
AND OMG HWA GETTING NOT PURE NOW HE'S HURTING YOU OMG OMG ASJHFGHADGSD HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH DEAD YOU PULLED OUT THE who hurt you TROPE AHHHH AHHAHAHAH ALFKJSDGSG YES RAHHHH WHO HURT YOU YES SEONGHWA'S PROTECTIVE INSTINCTS AWAKENING THE MOMENT HE HEARS YOU CRY RAHH
OOF and seonghwa bowing down to YOU but then the contrast to hwa only bowing down to god damn i've said this like five times already but you COOKED
and yes then there's seonghwa's characterisation as well with his love query slash obsession for you that will make him move heaven and earth for you but for both the right AND wrong reasons
SAJFHGDS HWA LEARNING THE KDRAMA RIZZ
bro honestly the more i read the more i'm like we literally share the same braincell cause we use so many similar descriptive motifs and jokes like i can literally name three that i've caught so far that i've got in the one i'm writing rn LMAO
dude i love how seonghwa becomes more good but then hwa becomes more evil >:D literally yin yang swapsies
you made me a warrior but i'm tired of this battle HOOOOO YESS VULNERABILITY WE CHEER
um how do i be reader like she gets to kiss both seonghwa AND hwa ??? move over me next
omg seonghwa 'seonghwa' woke up i'm already getting goosebumps because i kind of know what's coming but i also DON'T know if you ended up going down that route and i am literally ON ME TOES SHIVER ME TIMBERS
HIS SMILE DOESn'T QUITE MEET HIS EYES OOOOHHHHHH I SMELL TROUUBBLLEEE
YOOO HIS PERSONALITY CHANGE GIRLIE OH GIRLIE JUST WAIT UNTIL YOU FIND OUT OOOHHHHHH
OH MY GAWWDDDD YOU REALLY DID IT GIRL THE GOOSEBUMPS I HAVE RN ???? THE ENDING ???? YOU PULLED IT OFF SO PERFECTLY HOLY MOLY FREAKING SMOKES I AM STILL GETTING GOOSEBUMPS EVEN THOUGHT I KNEW (99.5%) THAT THIS WAS GOING TO HAPPEN OH MY GOOOWWAWDDD
brb i think i need to go scream and jump off a cliff at that ending beCAUSE FOR THE 109347235TH TIME YOU COOKED SO HARD WITH THIS FIC ??????? LIKE GODDAMN THIS IS LITERALLY HALA 2.0 ON STEROIDS
you did SUCH a good job with this like i tell you this every single time but there is literally NOTHING for you to worry about. you always come up with the most delicious plots and i put in my order for what i want and it comes out PERFECTLY COOKED EXCCEEIDNNG MY EXPECTATIONS like this ain't a three star michelin meal this is a five star brother
well done babes i'm so so proud of you and you wrote this one so fast and without my help :'))) you should also be super proud of yourself <333
Light
angel!mafia seonghwa x chemist!mafia reader
evil man possessed by an angel who falls in love with the evil chemist who is basically a devil au LOL
genres and warnings: angst, suggestive, mafia au, obsession, morally black ppl again, mentions of drugs, human experiments (a few details), violence, blood, themes of corruption and forbidden love, lmk if i missed anything, dni if uncomfortable ^
word count: 32k (oops i did it again)
synopsis: when you summon an angel to enhance the town's drugs, the angel ends up being stuck in seonghwa's body- the mafia boss who supplies the drugs itself. the line between good and evil start to blur, complicated by your feelings for each other which lead you to make some difficult choices.
manager-nim: @eightmakesonebraincell (she insisted hwa pure evil i said your wish is my command)
Good and evil must coexist in order to survive.
Without evil, there cannot be any good in this world. Evilness creates the need for good. And if there’s only good in the world, there would be no reason or purpose anymore. There must be evil for there to be a desire for goodness.
Good and evil are the two elements that weigh down the pans of a weighing scale. They hover in the air, tipping up and down endlessly, never balancing because there is always too much evil or too much good at each fraction of time in the world. Perhaps, it is meant to be that way- perhaps, that is the balance this world needs.
Similarly, there is also good and evil coexisting in an individual. Sometimes, there is more good than evil, while other times evil outweighs the good . People can argue if humans are inherently good or evil but it has never mattered- if you live in society, you will learn what is considered good and what is considered evil.
However… sometimes when you look at Park Seonghwa, you wonder if all the foolish rambling about evil being an inherent trait might be true after all. You’ve known him almost all your life and you are convinced that the man does not possess a single good bone in his body.
Again, it was arguable. What is the criteria of being good or what ultimately labels you evil? Perhaps, he is good in an unconventional way- though there’s hardly been evidence of that when all his good intentions have an evil motive. Maybe that was his purpose on earth- to make sure the scale does not tip too much towards good.
A tiny part of you thought that maybe he was the only person holding the burden of that responsibility- but then you would look in the mirror and realise you were no better. You would scoff at the audacity to judge the poor man when you yourself were his equal in every way. Perhaps, you possessed a few morals, but you had always been reprimanded on that.
You could not be a good human in your field. Not when you were making sure that the society was entangled in the web of your deception- attracted like flies to the things that glittered like gold but were dark at their very core. Not when you fed the people with the lies of pleasure and they willingly took bait, losing the conscious part of themselves that would ever warn them that maybe this was not a good idea.
Not when you were the devil who was ruling both the underworld and the world from the shadows.
You did not need to be a good human when you were manufacturing and producing drugs. You just needed to possess a brain that functioned better than the average human, possess a heart that did not function as good as the average human, and finally, stay away from whatever you created.
Bonus points if you had a little streak of-
“This is insanity, sweetheart.”
That. Insanity. The key ingredient.
“But insanity has always made sense. Especially when it comes from me,” you pointed out and Seonghwa couldn’t help but agree, uncomfortably crossing his legs while sitting on his office chair and contemplating deeply.
“Theoretically, it can work-”
“Theoretically,” Seonghwa reminded you with a pointed glare that was a warning to not get too ahead of yourself. He never failed to assert that he was ultimately the one in control. “Theoretically, anything is possible. But if you really believe that angels exist-”
“I don’t have to believe that they do,” you insisted. “But I have to try.”
You were unsure about this, that was true. Summoning demons for ritual was something common in the underworld, though you had never witnessed it yourself, having heard that it was better to avoid that. You had suppliers, though, claiming that they had stored the ‘essence’ of the demons that they summoned. The essence was a powerful thing and had to be mixed in miniscule quantities in large amounts of the base product for it to work- you learned that the hard way too. It took you years and an uncountable amount of dead test subjects to learn that the human body could not tolerate the essence of a demon unless it was barely there.
Did you believe that demons exist after all these experimentations? It was still arguable, but the vials of the essence stored safely in your lab was proof that the world was not only home to humans and animals, but other creatures too. You recalled observing exorcisms when you first started studying dark arts, hoping to expand your knowledge and mix the scientific and the supernatural. You once convinced the mafia lord to join you.
That sure did end well. Here you were, seated right in front of that mafia lord, trying to convince him that if humans could successfully extract demonic essence to create the ultimate drugs, they could extract the essence of an angel to create something new too.
It could change the course of this world, if you were right. You had no idea if the essence would work like the demonic one. Maybe it worked similarly, but at least you would have the satisfaction of having tried. There was a chance though that the angelic essence could open new opportunities for your business. And if it had medicinal properties, you could control the capitalistic net too. You could rule the world.
“Come on,” you insisted, getting up and walking around the table to lean against the surface, bending down just a fraction to meet his eyes. “This could be our salvation, Seonghwa.”
“Or doom,” he challenged, leaning forward while still seated, his fingers going to play with the lapel of your coat. “This could go very, very wrong. I can’t lose my mad scientist now, can I?”
You smirked. “Is that all I mean to you? Mad scientist?”
“You know what they say,” Seonghwa shrugged. “Behind every drug lord is a mad scientist.”
“They don’t say that, but sure,” you scoffed. “Come on. We’ve been partners for years now. Give me some credit, and let me try this. I’ll only try it once, I promise. If it doesn’t work, we let it go.”
Seonghwa considered your proposal- he always let you try stupidly dangerous things at least once, no matter the fear in his heart that he would end up endangering your life. He told himself he did not care for you, but that you were simply someone essential to him and his business. He convinced himself that he had no attachment towards you as someone who grew up with you and survived with you in the darkest period of his life.
And you believed him. That he really did not have any personal attachment towards you. You were just someone useful to him. You always said that you returned the sentiment, but you were more human than him in some ways, and being human meant that you inevitably caught feelings for him.
Not that you would ever admit that to a soul. They could pin you on the very stretcher you tied your test subjects to, cut you open or drug you but nothing could be capable of extracting that confession out of your mouth.
It didn’t help that the person in question was the Park Seonghwa. He could look like an angel and a demon at the same time, and that was perhaps the worst combination you could have encountered. It was his ability to transform his face into the epitome of innocence that was his weapon. He had bewitched every person that possessed any semblance of power, took advantage of any individual that could be of use to him, whether alive or dead, and climbed his way to the top.
And you had been by his side all along. Partner in every sense, sharing brains and planning schemes in the dead of the night, alone in the woods huddled against each other because you had a single blanket that you managed to grab when you both ran away from the orphanage. He was too busy leading the path to worry about grabbing anything useful, he told you.
You had been by his side all the years that you spent after, being protected by him when he teamed up with the street gangs and earned for both of you. You helped wherever you could, his little mad scientist from the beginning, experimenting with drugs and burying your nose in books, observing the doctors and surgeons who were expert on cutting up people to extract organs, learning every practical skill you needed to stand on your feet and make Seonghwa proud.
And you did. You made him proud and you made him strong. You cut ties- in the most literal way- with your previous gang and emerged as a strong duo, Seonghwa operating in the light while you worked in the shadows. He kept you close, within an arm’s length. He made sure you had everything you needed- a roof over your head, food in your stomach, a lab for your experiments, and him.
You were too afraid to ask him if he would treat you the same had you not excelled in this knowledge. You already knew the answer to that. That man possessed no human heart, and the moment you would be useless, he would stab you not in the back but in the front, locking eyes with you and proving that ultimately, it was him in charge. It was why you never risked saying or doing something stupid, because you were content this way.
You were content with the way his fingers travelled up the lapel of your black coat, finding the skin on your chest just below your neck where the shirt stopped him. You were content with the way he traced patterns there as he weighed the pros and cons of trying this damned ritual. Him locking his eyes with you and holding no hint of remorse that was otherwise a permanent expression in his eyes was enough. The squeeze of his fingers around your neck was enough.
And whatever his decision was… it would be enough too.
“Alright. Just once. It should not go wrong, you understand?”
You failed to stifle your smile, soon grinning and Seonghwa chuckled at the way your eyes so dangerously twinkled.
“A devil about to summon an angel. Who would’ve thought?”
“Two devils,” you corrected. “You’re coming with me.”
“Oh, no, no,” Seonghwa shook his head adamantly. “I trust you. I’ll send men-”
“No, you need to witness this moment, Seonghwa,” you insisted in all seriousness, your eyes widening just a fraction. “If it’s a success, we will change the world. You need to be there. For me.”
Seonghwa thought he heard just a bit of an underlying threat in there but he chose to ignore it, like he always did. Only you could talk to him in this tone, demand anything- even his life from him. He had already given you all his life, like you had given him all yours.
He could give you this, too. It made sense- and he really needed to witness this one himself, otherwise if it worked, he was positive he would never believe that they weren’t manipulating facts.
“For you,” Seonghwa nodded. “Make sure it’s safe, and have some human offerings ready in case we need that.”
“I don’t think an angel would be interested, but sure,” you gently pushed his hand that was playing with your hair away. “I’ll have everything ready- we’re doing it exactly a week from now. May the Lord be with us.”
Seonghwa’s cackle roared in the room as you exited. You felt like you were floating in the clouds, now that you had his approval.
You would prove that angels exist, hence proving there was good in this world.
And then you would wonder where the good in your old friend’s heart went.
“More candles?” One of the men helping you with the summoning ritual asked.
You looked around the room before turning your attention back to the book you had borrowed from one of your crew members in charge of collecting demonic essence. He was under the impression that you were trying a different demon summoning ritual, and you intended to keep it that way- not everyone needed to know that it was an angel you would be summoning.
“It’s not a fucking birthday party, those are enough candles,” you said and when Seonghwa snickered under his breath, the man skittered away.
“Someone’s on edge,” Seonghwa elbowed you lightly and you looked at him helplessly.
“I’m just trying to make sure this won’t be unsafe even if it goes wrong. The candles are just for aesthetics.”
“Ah, is that so?” Seonghwa looked around. “And the circle they’re sketching? Will that serve as a cage?”
“The spell and the items I’ll place around the room will serve as the cage, the circle is just a location pointer, you could say,” you explained, shutting the book and taking a deep breath. “I’m going to make a final check. Can you ask everyone to get out of this room and wait?”
“Will you really be here when they summon the angel?” He asked and you nodded. “Do you have to be?”
“Yes, I have to be,” you told him for the umpteenth time, beckoning him to go away. “I’ll be safe, don’t worry. And if anything bad happens… it’s not like you care anyway.”
Seonghwa narrowed his eyes at you and you grinned- you had a habit of making these jabs and he was quite used to that now.
“I’ll keep your word for it,” he promised. “If anything bad happens, don’t expect me to come barging in to save you.”
“Got it,” you sighed, putting on a show of offence. “If I die tonight, it was me who stole your precious diamond ring.”
“I know,” Seonghwa smirked and you stared at him, slack-jawed. He only shook his head and turned away, clapping to get everyone’s attention and asking anyone who wasn’t conducting the ritual to leave the room.
The room fell silent once again, the hushed voices of the people present inside echoing off the walls. You weren’t sure if the chilly feel to the room was because it was in the basement of an abandoned building in a very remote area, or because of the deed that was about to take place.
You waited until everyone had left before taking your position at the far end of the room. Your partner’s crew members naturally knew what to do as if they had trained for this their whole lives. They set the holy items at the four corners, and then some unholy ones at the other four corners, creating an eight-pointed star. Once you were satisfied, you went to pick a holy sword- the sword you had earned after your contribution to the dark arts, the very sword that had given you the idea of summoning an angel.
You dipped it into the tub near you, collecting wine on its blade, its translucent drops marking the earth with evidence of the forthcoming act. You turned your neck to look at the window, finding Seonghwa and the others- human sacrifices- waiting. Seonghwa shared a nod and you fished out his lighter from the pocket.
Once the sword caught fire, you walked with heavy steps to your final position in the front so the angel would meet your eyes. You put on your shades for caution like the rest of them did, and then you signalled the summoner to begin.
The sound of his spell filled the room- it sounded foreign even to him, considering the way he stumbled upon the words- the words for this spell were different from a demonic spell. The summoner sliced his palm and let his blood taint the etchings on the floor, continuing muttering the spell.
For a moment, you wondered if it was all a waste as seconds ticked by without a movement but a collective gasp sounded across the room when the flames of the candles blazed angrily. You gripped the hilt of the sword tightly, keeping it raised in the air. You tried not to let the fear gripping your heart get to you as the temperature in the room dropped significantly.
When the summoner said the final words of the spell, the final call to have any angel in the vicinity answer him, a strong breeze circulated around the room, blowing out every candle and almost extinguishing the fire on the sword. You gulped to swallow the scream forming in your throat, the sword in your hand the only source of light now. You thought you heard someone knocking at the window but the little glimmer of light in the centre of the circle had caught your attention.
Slowly, the glimmer turned into a blob, which then turned into a shapeless source of light- blinding golden light so bright that it appeared white, harsh enough to make your eyes water even through the shades. You narrowed your eyes to focus but there was too much going on-
Especially the warning song echoing inside you- you knew that it wasn’t coming from you. It was coming from that being and everyone else in the room could hear it too, considering how they started backing away.
“Stand your ground,” you ordered, and the men stilled. Your word was as important as their boss Seonghwa’s, perhaps even more important than their own life. “Make sure the barricade remains intact.”
It was only then you spared yourself a moment to meet Seonghwa’s eyes through the window, who looked astonished, his eyes wide as he tried to comprehend the glorious sight in front of him.
The glorious sight that was now taking the shape of a person, the edges sharpening enough to make out its silhouette yet remaining blurry. It seemed to be a crouched figure, taller than anyone you had ever seen, a cascade of hair covering the entirety of its upper body and anything that was not covered by its folded wings. There was no need for a halo when the being glowed from within, though even if there was one, it was too blindingly bright to make out.
“Which little bird summoned this weary angel? Pray tell, pray tell...”
Oh, you were doomed.
“Was it the man that connected us with blood? Was it the man that offered me good, or was it the one that chained me with the bad? Pray tell, pray tell…”
The said men were now leaning against the walls, praying to whatever god that had sent his angel here to save them. Save them from what? It was too late-
“Or is it the little bird that holds the key to my freedom?”
Key to freedom? You looked down at the lit sword. You recalled reading something about how such a holy relic could also be used to undo spells and though you had thought the information was insignificant, you were wondering if you needed to undo the spell right now-
“What purpose must I serve to earn my freedom?”
The tone of the angel turned soft, almost beckoning you forward. You weren’t sure if the angel was speaking out loud or if the voice was still inside your head. You dared to take one step closer before you felt a crushing sense of weight on your shoulders.
“It is I who called you,” you managed to say. “I have questions to ask.”
“You called me to satisfy your humane curiosity?”
There was a warning in his soft voice now. A warning that one wrong move would ensure your end. You looked helplessly at Seonghwa who was no longer present at the window and you wondered where he was. You thought you heard the creak of a door open but he wouldn’t be stupid enough to come inside, right?
You contemplated making a deal with the angel, but your tongue fell limp. With demons, you had heard that it was pretty easy when it wasn’t one of the stronger demons. A little deal, some nasty business, ensuring their essence would do damage that they would like, or in rare cases, a price to be paid usually got the work done.
What could you offer the servant of God? What could an angel need?
“Do I really hold the key to your freedom?” You asked, a strange tugging in your mind. The angel lifted its face just a fraction- you still couldn’t make out its features but you could tell that it was staring at you.
“I have a feeling that you do.”
And you had a feeling that this wasn’t about the freedom from this spell anymore. Entranced, you took another step forward, and another, unable to deny the pull. The being was ethereal and you had no chance against it. You had no chance, and you had no choice but to step inside the circle with this sword, damned be the consequences, damned be the very familiar voice shouting at you to stop-
It all happened too quickly to process- you were suddenly and forcefully being pulled away and the angel latched out, the sword falling on the ground with a dreadful clatter that echoed in the air, intermingled with the shrieks of the people present in the room. Your eyes widened when you noticed the tip of the sword within the circle.
This was the end.
“Get out of here, now!” Seonghwa ordered through gritted teeth in your ear, pulling you away with him and you went along this time, trying to tell him that it was too late, that he shouldn’t have come inside.
He would later wonder why he went inside. Perhaps, the angel himself had called him. Perhaps, he had been attracted to the angel’s pure energy when he was the embodiment of darkness himself.
And if that was the case, why did the angel choose him as his medium of freedom?
The last thing you saw from the corner of your eye before you lost consciousness, amidst the chaos of the summoning ritual gone wrong, was the angel’s hand latching onto Seonghwa’s back and Seonghwa’s eyes rolling back in his head before he fell, dragging you down with him.
All these years of your life had been dedicated to the mafia boss Seonghwa- your friend, your family, and your everything. Even your worst nightmare.
He was the reason you were alive and not sold off as nothing more than a repository of useful organs. If you ever think back to what your life had been like when you were just a child, barely 10, it was rough. It was dark, and Seonghwa was the only light in your life. No matter how dim that might be.
Seonghwa always shined. And you were just a moth attracted to his light.
However, you did not expect the man to physically shine. There was a sheen of actual golden light across his skin as his body burned with a fever meant for no human. You had bitten through the majority of your thumb nail while you wracked your brains for a solution- but did you really want one?
All these years, you had put Seonghwa’s ambitions and goals first. He wanted to escape the abusive orphanage and he wanted you to come along- you couldn’t be more grateful. He wanted to mix with the street gangs and provide for you so you could make a breakthrough in science (specifically, drugs) one day- sure, who were you to deny that blessing? He wanted to become the most notorious mafia boss, earn a social repute and keep you by his side, wanting you to help him become a true drug lord- to be the owner of the most unique and sought after drug. That aligned with your personal ambitions, so who were you to say no?
But your actual goal- if you ever had a moment of clarity without Seonghwa clouding your thoughts, it was to make a breakthrough in science- not just drugs. And Seonghwa knew your heart’s deepest desire, which was why he always prevented you from doing so, warning that you couldn’t be in the public eye. If you wanted to make breakthroughs, you could do so in the field of drugs, and limit yourself to the underworld.
Well, this was what he wanted. Here he was, burning with an inhumane fever, golden ichor dripping from the corner of his eyes that you were sure to collect, already a few vials full. You wondered if this was the essence. And you wondered if the angel really was inside Seonghwa’s body now.
The two of you had lost consciousness when the angel attacked you- thankfully, his loyal servants were quick to take you both back to your hide-out where your lab was located. When you opened your eyes, you found yourself and Seonghwa lying flat on the stretchers. For a moment, fear gripped the entirety of your being before you realised you were just laying down and not tied like one of your test subjects. A sigh of relief later, you turned to find Seonghwa tied, and for all the right reasons.
Thankfully, your subordinate was someone who could be trusted. He made sure to keep the rest of your staff outside and waited for you to wake up. Now the two of you were almost huddled against each other, fidgeting with your clothes and biting your nails- anything to cope, at this point.
“Do you think he will ever wake up?” Dr. Choi asked, his sharp features softening into worry. “Or will he… burn to death from within?”
“I hope he doesn’t,” you nodded slowly. “If he wakes up and remains alright… he will be my greatest product.”
Dr. Choi San chuckled darkly at that comment. “It will only be your greatest product if you let the world see it.”
“That’s the thing,” you looked at your thumb, finding it smeared with your trademark cherry red lipstick. “I would want to keep him all to myself.”
“What a dilemma, huh?” He shook his head. “Well, I for one don’t want to be present when the demon lord wakes up. I’ll be outside if you need me.”
“What if the angel inside him kills me?”
“Well…” Dr. Choi shrugged. “I guess I’ll proceed to take over this institution like you have willed-”
“Not helping,” you glared at him but you both knew that this was a situation you couldn’t do anything about. You were helpless, and your only choice was to wait and hope that Seonghwa would be okay and the angel wouldn’t want to kill you at the first sight.
Another hour must have passed with you waiting endlessly, wiping the sweat off his skin and collecting the tears before he finally opened his eyes, groaning inhumanely and beginning to shiver slightly. You rushed to his side, startled at the sudden shift and poked his side.
“Seonghwa? Is that you?”
“What’s happening to me?” His voice came out strained and before he could ask something else or get your response, his eyes rolled back and he shut them tight, finally settling down and laying limp. Your heart sank and you checked if he was breathing, feeling relieved upon finding that he was. You contemplated untying his wrists and legs but you had to play it safe-
Though you were pretty sure the angel would be able to break free anyway.
When Seonghwa opened his eyes the second time, there was a slight glaze to it as if he was wondering where he was or recalling the events of the previous night. He tried raising his arms but gave up instantly, not even bothering to check why he was unable to do so. You frowned at his unusual behaviour and cautiously called his name again.
“Where am I?”
“My lab? You passed out, remember?” You gently told him.
“No, where am I?” He looked at you, his eyes scanning your face as if this was the first time he was seeing you. “And who are you?”
You felt your knees go weak and you clutched at his stretcher. “Seonghwa? It’s me, y/n. Don’t you remember?”
Seonghwa tried to raise his arms again but he shut his eyes as he groaned. “Untie me. Now.”
You couldn’t say no to that. You unclasped the belts and he sat up, swaying a bit. You passed him a glass of water and he made a face, setting it aside.
“Why did you call me?”
“I was trying to wake you up-”
“No, why did you call me?”
This time, his voice sounded inside you and you took a step back, your lower lip trembling at the shift in his demeanour.
“It’s- it’s not you, is it? You’re not Seonghwa?”
“I’m not your rotten excuse of a human, correct.”
It was the angel inside him speaking. He raised his hands, examining them carefully, finding them rough and calloused. He looked sideways, finding a blurry reflection of himself and shook his head in disappointment.
“Who are you?” You dared to ask.
“You called me,” he said calmly, a dangerous undertone in his voice. “You know exactly who I am. You know my name- do not dare to call me by my name with your filthy human tongue.”
You blinked, narrowing your eyes. “Is an angel allowed to talk like that?”
“Well, I’m human now, aren’t I?” The angel shrugged carelessly, wiping the sweat off his forehead with his sleeve. “Thanks to you.”
“I’m not the one who asked you to possess him. That wasn’t my idea,” you tried to explain, sweat oozing out of your pores the more his glare turned darker.
“Well, what was your idea, then?” He got up, a bit shaky on his feet as if walking after a long time. That didn’t stop him from invading your personal space and standing right in front of you until you could feel the warmth radiate from his body. His brows furrowed and you thought he looked incredibly sad at that moment.
“What were you thinking, little bird? Trapping an angel?”
“I-” you clutched at the table behind you, swallowing the lump in your throat. “I only wanted to ask if an angel’s essence could be obtained.”
“For what?”
“Medicinal purposes,” you smoothly lied.
“Well, you have your answer,” the angel looked towards the vials as if having sensed them. “Though I’m sure it will not work. And you won’t be getting any more of my tears. I shall leave this body soon- if only this cursed human would let me-”
“What do you mean?” Your voice came out small, and you hated the effect he had on you. You weren’t sure if it was the angel, or if it was Seonghwa that made you still cower under him.
“I shouldn’t have been able to possess such an evil human,” the angel tilted his head threateningly as he leaned towards you, scanning your face. “You were who I intended to possess. Maybe he had a change of heart and allowed me to take him?”
“He wouldn’t do that,” you muttered. The Park Seonghwa you knew would never risk his life for you.
Okay, he might, a little. To the point of getting hurt, but not to the point of… this.
“Doesn’t matter. I’m stuck, and I’m unable to get out.”
“Do we need to do another… ritual?”
“Humans,” he spat with such bitterness that you almost wondered if this was Seonghwa himself, testing you. “You should have learned about this properly before you summoned me.”
“Do you know why you’re unable to get out of this body?” You asked.
The room fell silent, and when a subtle shake of his head told you that he indeed was as clueless as you, you finally relaxed and let a smirk grace your lips.
“Well… it looks like you and I are going to have some fun then… angel.”
~
It didn’t take long for you to convince the angel that you needed to run some tests in order to see if Seonghwa was okay- but you used this excuse to extract some blood, run every test possible, take every scan and monitor his vitals. Hours later, you were still stuck in the lab with him, the smell of food and antiseptics filling the room.
“You have to eat,” you said for perhaps the tenth time. “You’re in a human body, and you will have to live like a human while you’re stuck.”
“I could choose not to eat and let this body die. Maybe that is how I can get out,” the angel considered. You shot him a glare- while the angel wasn’t the considerate creature you thought he would be, his tone was a lot softer than Seonghwa’s ever was.
“Or maybe that’s how you end up perishing,” you placed a piece of meat on top of his rice bowl. “Food for thought.”
The angel glared at you for a moment and fumbled with the chopsticks until you showed him how to use them. He caught up pretty quickly and picked the piece of meat, sniffing it and frowning. You watched him curiously as he stuck out his tongue to take an experimental lick, and after deciding the taste of the meat wasn’t so bad after all, he finally put it in his mouth and chewed slowly.
“I can’t remember the last time I ate,” he confessed and you urged him to try everything on the table.
“As an angel… you do not eat, right?”
“We don’t need to eat to live,” he confirmed and you nodded. “Sometimes, we are sent as a human to guide another. At the rare times that we have to play along, we get to experience some humane things- like eating.”
“So… you’re telling me that angels walk among us as humans?” You asked cautiously.
“So do demons, and other creatures that your mind can never comprehend,” he said, taking another bite of the food- at least he seemed to be enjoying this human experience. “Humans think they own this world. They are no more than specks in this infinite cosmos.”
You nodded slowly- you were not going to argue with that. You had felt less than a speck when you saw the angel back in the basement.
“Was that your true form, earlier?” You asked.
“If you ever saw my true form, your eyes and your limbs would burn,” he said casually and you made a mental note of that. “We are not the angels that you read about in your books. Even demons- you have seen them. That is not their true form- we take the shape of what the human eyes and mind can try to comprehend.”
“How do you know that I’ve seen them?”
The angel tapped the side of his- Seonghwa’s head. “I know everything about this human now that I’m in this body.”
“Is he really alive in there?”
“He is. I can’t say for how long,” he finished eating. “He is fighting for dominance. Perhaps, he might be able to take over after some struggle, but I will remain inside until we find a way to let me out.”
“You should know if there’s a prayer or ritual for that, right?” You asked.
“Hmm… let’s see. Would you like for your human to die? For you and your entire group to perish from the face of the Earth?”
“Of course not,” you narrowed your eyes. Was the angel trying to intimidate you, or was he serious?
“Then I suggest we do not tell the world that this poor angel is stuck in a human. May the Lord help us.”
“Your Lord must know, though. Will he help us?” You asked and the angel chuckled darkly.
“We’re just two pieces in his game of chess now.”
A shiver ran down your spine and you got up to clear the table. “Well, it’s late now. I suggest we pause the game and get some sleep then?”
“Sleep is for the humans-”
“And you are a human now,” you let out a frustrated sigh. “I don’t care if you sleep or not- just come with me.”
You instructed the angel to keep his mouth shut and let you do the talking. You told Dr. Choi to take care of the scans and with that, you both left for the Park Residence, a mansion in the most elite area of the town. You watched the angel look out of the window with curiosity and a hint of amazement- you couldn’t blame him. The mansion was truly something ethereal, especially from the outside with its white corinthian columns and stained glass windows.
“Someone like this human should have been living in the dungeons,” the angel whispered and you put a finger to your lips, unable to stifle a grin. “He does not deserve this beautiful palace.”
“He earned it through his blood, sweat and my tears. Give him some credit.”
“Who are you to this human?” He asked as you got out of the car. The secretaries welcomed the two of you and you dismissed them for the night.
“Can’t you tell?” You asked, tapping the side of your head like he had earlier.
“I can only see the memories. I cannot comprehend his emotions or feelings.”
“Do you not feel?” You asked, entering the mansion and being welcomed with the subtle warm lighting of the chandelier- dimmed for the nighttime- that reflected on the polished white marble. The subtle veins of gold running through the floor reminded you of the angel’s tears. You glanced at him and he hummed.
“This is a nice house.”
“See? You felt that it’s a nice house,” you pointed out.
“No, I can tell that it is a nice house because I can appreciate its craft,” he walked towards the staircase, fingers softly caressing the golden railing and its sleek curves.
“So you cannot feel human emotions? Sadness, happiness… love, hatred, anger?”
“And who said those are human emotions?” He asked, leaving you speechless. You followed him upstairs, letting him navigate through the empty corridor- if he had Seonghwa’s memories, he probably knew where to go.
“Humans possess the same attributes as angels and demons,” the angel explained. “Inherently, these attributes are innocent in nature but as a human lives and learns, they take a shape and become uniquely human. No human is angelic enough, nor demonic enough- though… this one might take the crown for being the most demonic.”
“There are worse humans, trust me. At least this one possesses some morals,” you muttered.
“And how do you weigh your morals? What is your scale to weigh them, human?” He asked and you shrugged- he was right. You couldn’t be the judge of that when your own morals were skewed.
“Well, you did see some good in me, didn’t you? When you were about to possess me?”
“You were the only good option, do not think of yourself too highly,” he almost reprimanded and your shoulders sagged in disappointment. He looked at you for confirmation before reaching the last room at the left section of the upper floor and you nodded. Once he entered the room, he looked around carefully.
The room was… lifeless, to put it simply. For starters, Seonghwa was meticulously neat and far too organised. There wasn’t a single thing in his room that was out of place, and the housekeepers made sure to maintain that as well. The pillows on his king-sized bed were neatly stacked. The monochrome aesthetic of his room with a hint of gold surprisingly both fit the aesthetic of the house and felt a bit odd. There was only an abstract monochrome painting with a splash of colours on one wall, and that was it.
“Well, this is where you will sleep- or try to,” you said, taking a seat on the grey couch that was far too comfortable and often somewhere you lounged when you invaded Seonghwa’s personal space. “And this is where I will watch you sleep.”
The angel regarded you with suspicion. “You will kill me in my sleep.”
“You’re far too valuable for me to kill, don’t worry,” you assured him and the angel felt an odd sense of comfort, though he questioned the reasons behind that. “I’m a doctor, so you can rest assured that I won’t let anything happen.”
“Are you not a shame to the medical community?” The angel candidly wondered out loud and you felt a pang of hurt.
“I won’t be when I’m done making use of your essence,” you promised bitterly. “Besides, I’m not your conventional doctor. I’m better than that.”
“You cut up humans to learn medicine. You are the worst kind.”
“And what is your scale to measure my morals?” You questioned, just a tiny bit of the pent up rage leaking in your voice. “Are you sure your scale is the right one, angel?”
The angel smirked- smirked at that, looking too much like the mafia lord in that instance. You released a short breath and got comfortable on the couch, unlocking your phone to check the updates. You paid no mind to the angel looking around and messing the room up until he got exhausted and lied down on the bed, staring at the ceiling.
“I wish to return to the realms of the angels,” he whispered softly as sleep overpowered his consciousness. You looked up and watched his eyes flutter close, his breathing steady.
The angel was asleep. All you had to do was wait for the morning now.
“Fucking… bastard, thinks he is something to take control of me!”
The sound of two books colliding against each other with a thump, and the pent up sigh of frustration.
“Someone is going to die by my hands, and this fucking angel will be responsible for it-”
A smash- or perhaps, it felt like a smash because of the pounding in your head. You yawned unceremoniously, wiping your mouth and rubbing your eyes as you looked around-
You were in Seonghwa’s room- Seonghwa, who was now shirtless and sweating with anger, his upper body almost heaving with breathlessness. The muscles on his body seemed more pronounced and his veins were popping out. You considered pretending to go right back to sleep- maybe you could disappear into the couch if you stayed here long enough-
“You.”
“Hold up-” you raised your hand but when he started taking big steps towards you, you swallowed the scream that built in your throat and got up. Unfortunately, there was no way to get out of here and if you dared jump on Seonghwa’s freshly made bed (man was organising the mess the angel had made out of his room in his absence), the chances of him letting you live would lower exponentially. However, desperate times call for desperate measures and you slid under his arm to jump over his bed, making him curse some more under his breath.
He was quick, though. In a matter of seconds, he had you pinned against the wall, his arm splayed across your neck to hold you in place and you grimaced.
“What have you done, y/n?” He asked through gritted teeth.
“You’re back, though, right?” You asked. “This is a good sign-”
“The angel is still inside- I can feel him here,” Seonghwa dug his finger into his temple. You couldn’t meet his eyes, so you let them lower until they fixated on the big tattoo on his neck. MATZ, a reminder of what he had lost.
“Alright, let me go,” you demanded gently. “And we can talk like two civilised beings.”
“What will you do about this, huh?” Seonghwa asked, no longer simmering with rage but unmoving with his position.
“Why did you come inside the room during the ritual?” You questioned, awfully curious of the reason. “You heard the angel, right? The angel didn’t mean to possess you- I was his target. Why did you interfere, Seonghwa?”
Seonghwa glared at you for a good few moments as if the answer to your question could be found in your eyes. However, there was no answer, and he let go of you. You took a deep breath, rubbing the soreness out of your collarbones.
“How are you feeling?” You asked. “Notice anything different?”
“Just a bit feverish, that’s all,” he admitted and you made note of that. “Find a way to undo this as soon as possible.”
“Already on it, don’t worry. I don’t like these turns of events. But… I’m also going to check the properties of the essence I managed to retrieve, and if I’m in need of more…”
“Get the angel out of my body,” he ordered, pronouncing every word threateningly.
“Got it,” you said in dismissal. If the angel’s essence was something of value… you would wring the angel dry before you would ever let him go. However, Seonghwa did not need to know that. You meekly smiled before walking towards his bed and smoothening the sheets. “What are you going to do?”
“Work,” he responded, “I’ve got a few meetings to attend and a few politicians to bribe.”
“How wonderful,” you commented. “Want me to come along?”
“I can handle it-”
“What if the angel… comes back?” You asked and Seonghwa paused in the middle of buttoning his black shirt. “Are you sure you can handle the consequences?”
For once, Seonghwa was silent and you sat on the edge of his bed, smirking. “I think I should stick with you until we’re sure the angel won’t take over randomly, at least. In case I see the angel is back, I can do most of the talking and make the angel shut up.”
“Why are you so sure that the angel won’t jeopardise my reputation?”
“Because, Seonghwa dear,” you got up and walked to him, buttoning the rest of his shirt and patting his chest. “I can end up killing him, and you in the process. The angel knows I’m capable of that.”
“I know you’re capable of that too,” Seonghwa said in a low voice, peering down at you. “Question is… will you?”
“Stay curious about that,” you told him with a smile, pressing on his chin affectionately like you always did. Seonghwa scoffed though he couldn’t help but break into a smile as well. You told him you would join him downstairs for breakfast and went to get ready.
Once in the privacy of your room, you took a deep breath, thinking and planning for what was next. There was absolutely no way you were going to leave Seonghwa alone. He was stuck with you and would have to remain under your supervision until this matter was sorted. It wouldn’t be unusual to tag along to his meetings and visits- you were his partner, and you were often present alongside him, but you were also a very busy person who was more occupied with lab work.
The lab wasn’t far from here, and while you trusted Dr. Choi, you never trusted anyone enough. You were going to monitor his progress and work with him too. You needed to see the composition of the angel’s tears and experiment with it- but when?
You looked in the mirror, the bags under your eyes more prominent and your cheeks looking sunken. You sighed deeply- it looked like you would be sacrificing your sleep quite a lot now.
And if sacrificing your sleep meant you would be basking in Seonghwa’s presence? So be it. That’s all you ever wanted anyways.
While Seonghwa was the same old person that he had always been, albeit more distant than ever thanks to the being inside his head that ‘wouldn’t stop whispering to him’, as he claimed. You could not blame the mafia boss for being on edge- apart from the fact that he was running a constant low fever, his senses seemed to be heightened as well. The lights felt too bright to him, the noise was too loud, and you-
You gulped as he flicked the dagger between his fingers effortlessly, contemplating if he wanted to slice you open or slice his own head open to extract the source of the constant whisperings.
“Look, it’s only been a few days, it will get better-”
Yet another dagger thrown at the board behind you, narrowly avoiding your cheekbone but definitely trimming the strands of your hair that were sticking out. You didn’t even flinch this time, but you were losing your patience too.
“Park Seonghwa,” you warned. “If you want me to leave you alone, I will. I won’t be responsible for what happens next. You have a meeting with Assemblyman Hwang later. He’s willing to buy drugs from you, and I know you want that meeting to go smoothly.”
Seonghwa slumped back in his office chair and folded his arms as if feeling cold. “I never said that I want you to leave me alone. But the sight of you… how do I put it…”
“Yeah, I know you hate me for obvious reasons, but technically-”
“Don’t say another word.”
You lowered your finger and zipped your lips. Technically, it was his fault and he knew that, which was the reason why he was so agitated.
Seonghwa and the angel inside him were in a constant battle for dominance of their body. For Seonghwa, there was a motive- it was his body, and the angel was a foreigner. A parasite, almost. You still did not know why the angel wanted to be dominant in this body and take control so badly when all he did once he managed to take over was crouch in a corner, away from the rest of the world. He would barely answer any of your questions and you half-wondered if he wanted to kill himself.
There wasn’t a specific trigger either. Seonghwa would be functioning as normally as a feverish human could- a bit sluggish in his movements but alert nonetheless- and a loud groan of pain later, the angel would take over, finish doing whatever Seonghwa had been doing and go to sulk. You were pretty sure Seonghwa did not need to tell the angel to act like a human- the angel himself did not want to be seen.
Perhaps, that was why he chose the darkest of the corners to hide, away from the light of this world.
The angel must miss the light of his world.
“The meeting is in a few hours,” Seonghwa reminded himself. “And I would like the angel to not take over-”
In some sort of a twisted notion of revenge, or karma, or whatever word you could use to explain the unfortunate luck of the mafia boss, he let out a foreboding painful groan and clutched at his chest, his eyes rolling back before he shut them. You watched with mild interest, shaking your head.
The angel was back.
“Hello, angel baby,” you called, beckoning him to open his eyes. His brown pupils glowed momentarily before he regained focus.
“Do not call me such terms,” the angel commanded and you huffed, rolling your eyes.
“I cannot call you by your name with my ‘filthy human tongue’,” you reminded him and he frowned. “I cannot call you angel, or angel baby- which is my favourite term, by the way. I like the look you have on your face when I call you that-”
The angel was beginning to look weary already and you smiled guiltily.
“What do I call you?”
“I… do not know,” he looked down at his hands, the dagger falling to the table with a clatter when he noticed that it was in his hand. “Did I say that you have a filthy human tongue?”
“Yes? Back when I summoned you in the basement?”
“I must have been very angry. I apologise. You do not have a filthy human tongue.”
You let out a short laugh. “I wasn’t affected by it, don’t worry. You don’t need to apologise, you’re literally an angel.”
“Has your heart been hardened so much that these terms no longer affect you?” The angel asked softly and you licked your lips in thought.
“I don’t know,” you shrugged. “I guess I’m used to hearing things like these.”
“This man cares for you yet hardened your heart to this point,” the angel commented, clasping his hands and watching you with curiosity. “It is interesting what humans say out loud as opposed to the words they choose not to say.”
You narrowed your eyes. “You’re quite talkative today, angel.”
“I suppose I got tired of the solitude- it gave me no answers. You might, though.”
You raised your shoulders to tell him that you were right here and as oblivious to the situation as he himself was.
“Since you’re in a good mood,” you began. “We must talk about some important things. It might help speed up your, uh, departure process.”
“Let’s hear what you have to say,” the angel said, tucking his hair away from his eyes and looking to his left at his reflection, wincing at the sight of Seonghwa’s half-tied hair and glamorous suit.
“Why do you take over this body at random times? I mean, is there a trigger, or do you just say fuck it we ball?”
“What does that mean?” The angel frowned.
“Just… tell me why you took over Seonghwa now, of all the times,” you sighed.
“Because he has an important meeting, and he thinks that he can keep me at bay,” the angel responded, straightening. “I am here to prove that he, in fact, cannot keep me at bay. It is I who chooses to be dominant, whenever I prefer.”
“Well,” you drawled. This was news to you. “If you want to coexist in this body without any drastic consequences, I suggest you not try to mess with Seonghwa, especially when he has something important coming. It’s for the sake of both of you, because I know that he will try something stupid to get you to cooperate, and I would rather make an agreement with you and solve this predicament like civilised people.”
“I will take over whenever I like,” the angel insisted.
“Please?” You pouted and he stared at your doe-eyes with an intensity that made you want to take back your words.
“Fine. I can leave him alone when he has something important, but I do not have to answer why I take over any time else.”
Just like that? You frowned momentarily.
“While we’re at it…” you asked experimentally. “Can you be a sweetheart and come with me to the lab? There’s just a few things I have to check- vitals, bloodwork and such. I won’t ask you to cry and give me your essence, don’t worry.”
“What if I do not want to?” He cocked his head and asked.
“Do you want me to beg again?” You laughed. “Please, come with me. It’s for your sake.”
The angel tightened his lips in thought and nodded just a few seconds later. “Fine.”
“You’re not hard to convince,” you commented as he got up.
“I have no choice but to cooperate.”
“Are you sure that’s the only reason?” You teased, going towards the hatstand and grabbing Seonghwa’s coat, sliding in front of the angel and offering to help him wear it. He gave you a sceptic look before slipping the coat on, a hint of a smile on his lips that you decided not to comment on.
“Angels do not lie,” he said, taking the lead and pretending to be Seonghwa- of which he was an expert now, as if Seonghwa himself was instructing him what to do. You went to the parking lot and asked the driver to take you both to the lab.
“We don’t have much time, so I’ll make this quick,” you whispered once inside the car. The angel nodded and you spent the duration of the trip in silence, the angel watching the world from the tinted window of the car. You almost felt sorry for him in that instance.
Once inside the lab, you greeted Dr. Choi who was writing some formulas on the board.
“I’ve managed to break down the chemical composition of the essence. I’m surprised to see it’s very similar to the demonic essence we managed to acquire two years ago,” he said, watching Seonghwa with caution. “Is that the angel in front of me?”
“Yes,” you put on your reading glasses to skim through his notes. “That was one of the greater demons, right?”
“That’s what they claimed,” Dr. Choi muttered, motioning the angel to sit on one of the chairs. “What’s different is that the angel’s essence is more stable and safer to work with-”
“You will never be able to use an angel’s essence for medicine,” the angel declared casually and you both looked at him. “The existence of angels is supposed to be a mystery. There has never been an instance of an angel leaving a trace in the human world- by trace, I mean physical evidence. With demons, it is different- they have their own realms and rules.”
“We could change that,” you suggested. “This could be the first instance of it in history.”
“As soon as you spread it, and as soon as news of it reaches the realms of the angels, there will be a ‘natural catastrophe’ that will wipe off your existence and mine from the face of this earth.”
You cursed, looking at Dr. Choi who seemed more scared than annoyed, unlike you. You turned to the angel. “How will the angel realm ever know that we are using angelic essence in, say, drugs or medicines?”
“Demons track the consumers of their essence. When you and your evil boss sell demonic drugs, you put a red target on its consumers for the demons to prey on- and they feast on it,” the angel practically spat. “They make sure the consumers- the humans- do their bidding in return. So when you replace that with angelic essence, you will only be making it easier for the angels to find the humans they need to eradicate from this world.”
“Well, isn’t that lovely to hear,” you muttered. “What about experimentation here?”
“Your test subjects are bound to die. Any one of them that makes it out alive would not live long enough- and I told you that you cannot let the angel realm know that I am stuck inside this human. Does your life mean nothing to you?”
You looked at Dr. Choi who got the signal and left the room, saying he had to get dinner anyway. Then you turned towards the angel and walked closer, seating yourself in front of him.
“This is what my life means to me,” your tone was no longer soft. “I’ve worked hard all my life for this moment-”
“But some things are not meant to be,” the angel looked almost sad to inform you of that. “And that is okay.”
You gritted your teeth as you stared at him- how dare he look at you with pity? The rational part of your mind knew that he was absolutely right and that this was a shot in the dark anyway- you could still study the angel’s essence and at least learn something from it. But the emotional part inside you was currently fighting for dominance and for a moment, you felt sorry for Seonghwa- this battle inside him must be what he was going through at every moment.
It was your fault.
“I’ll check your vitals and take your blood,” you muttered, getting up and grabbing a kit. You wore medical gloves, checked his temperature and blood pressure, extracted some blood and ran some quick scans. Everything seemed normal and at least that was a relief.
When you finished and took off your gloves, you said that you were going to check his pulse and moved to grab his wrist. At the slightest touch, the angel pulled his wrist away as if your touch had burned him. You frowned and tried again, wondering if that was just a reflex, but he deliberately moved out of your range and you gaped at him.
“What is wrong with you?” You asked, rendered speechless by the cautious look in his eyes. “Why won’t you let me check your pulse?”
The angel’s tense body never relaxed but he allowed himself to return to his original sitting position, eyes still a little wide from the previous interaction.
“Do you think my filthy touch will taint your body?” You asked, wariness dripping from your voice. You almost expected him to look at you with disdain.
“That is not why, no,” he sounded upset instead, moving to grab your wrist instead, flinching slightly again at the touch but relaxing soon after, curling your fingers with his. “I am sorry.”
You kept staring at him in confusion, watching him fidget a bit until he finally gave in.
“It has been a while since I remembered what human touch feels like.”
Oh.
All those times, deliberately moving out of your way and avoiding touching any humans, and now… caressing your hand and holding it with both hands, tracing the curves of your knuckles and marvelling at the sensation that he felt, cautiously meeting your eyes as if there was an implied sin somewhere that he was scared of committing-
All because he was touch-starved?
You shifted your fingers to rest your thumb on his pulse, locking eyes with him and silently counting while you found yourself relaxing, almost entranced by the way he looked at you. So shy, yet determined.
This was not Seonghwa. This was not the man you had spent all your life with. He had never looked at anyone this way.
“Hwa…” you whispered and the angel frowned in confusion. You squeezed his hand.
“I’ll call you Hwa.”
The fire behind those eyes, the flame in those pupils and the warmth of his touch. Seonghwa’s anger. ‘Hwa’. He held your hand between both of his as if it was a holy relic and planted a soft kiss on your knuckles, shutting his eyes and relishing the feel of his lips against your skin. The lips as soft as the petals of a flower. Hwa- that’s what the name meant.
“Thank you for giving me a name.”
You did not need to check your own pulse to realise that your heart was racing as much as his heart- perhaps, in a twisted synchrony.
The meeting with Assemblyman Hwang had gone smoothly without any disruptions with Seonghwa signing a deal that would expand his drug business while giving him protection from the law. However, your interaction with the angel at the lab had left a bitter aftertaste on Seonghwa’s tongue. While he never talked about that interaction or mentioned your new name for the angel, you could tell that he was conflicted about your behaviour with his ‘alter ego’, as you had termed it.
And how could he not be confused? ‘Hwa’ was a foreigner in his body, doing whatever he pleased. The angel was opening up to human experiences more with each passing day and trying different things that Seonghwa himself would never do. The angel seemed to have a fondness for water bodies and mostly, when he took over, he would find the pool and either sit with his legs submerged or just float in the water while staring at the ceiling, as if he could see the stars or heavens, or whatever the angel saw in the sky in his realm.
Seonghwa would be lying if he said that having an angel inside him wasn’t… enlightening, to say the least. While he could not look into the angel’s memories like the angel could, he was intrigued by everything the angel had to share. It made him question his beliefs, but it also strengthened his ambitions.
As for you… it had only been a few days yet the little things were starting to get to Seonghwa. You spoke to the angel so gently and carelessly. You indulged in whatever the angel had to say or did. You entertained him and satiated his curiosity. You let him look at you or touch you however he wanted.
Were you doing it because you wanted something out of the angel? Did you think you could win his heart or convince him to create the medicinal drug for you? Or were you doing this out of fear? Fear for your life, for Seonghwa’s life? Or… was the sadistic side of you enjoying Seonghwa’s misery?
He would not be getting answers to that any time soon, and he would not dare ask you for a multitude of reasons- the first and foremost being that he did not want to sound like he cared. Whatever you did with the angel should not be affecting him as long as you remained within your limits and didn’t cross some invisible boundaries, he told himself and hoped you were aware of that too.
He was not going to lie and say it didn’t sting a little that you barely looked at him anymore when he was Seonghwa. He had to do stupid things to get your attention now, such as-
“If you poke me one more time, god help me Seonghwa, I will break your fingers.”
There you were.
You did have phases like these, where Seonghwa would wonder if you were growing distant from him or had found something- or someone- better than him. Seonghwa was a manipulative bastard and he always made sure that you were within his sight. He never allowed you to look too far, and whoever looked your way? Well… they would be subject to an unfortunate fate soon after.
You were his. His little doctor, his only friend, his family if he ever had one, his everything, yet… nothing. Perhaps, the last part was a lie, the angel had suggested in one of his whispers. Perhaps, the angel was right. But admitting it would mean that he had a weakness, and Park Seonghwa did not have any weaknesses. He had made that mistake once and lost a dear brother, the reminder of which was inked on his neck so he would never forget.
So why did this little phase feel different, almost threatening to him?
“Don’t you have anything better to do?” You asked, but when he raised a brow in amusement, you shut up.
You had brought this upon yourself, bounding him with yourself to keep him ‘under surveillance’. He definitely did not have anything better to do at home in the late hours of night. He had wrapped up his work in the evening and accompanied you to the lab for the daily check-ups and for the past few hours, he had been rolling around on his bed. There was nothing to plan, nothing to scheme for once. He just watched you study and make notes on your devices and before you knew it, he had joined you on the couch, poking at your sides once in a while, making you swat at him in dismissal as if he were a mere fly.
Perhaps, all his talk about being ‘the boss’ had not worked very well, after all. He should have never let you get so close- or gotten so close- because you sure had a way of acting like the one in charge sometimes. The small, almost non-existent emotional part in his brain told him that you certainly helped with his loneliness and he had to agree. You were a crutch now.
“You know I can’t sleep well with all this incessant sound of your typing- why do you type so loudly on a screen?”
“The sounds help me focus,” you told him. “Let Hwa take over. He’ll sleep for the both of you.”
Seonghwa narrowed his eyes. “You want me gone that bad?”
“Aw, is the mafia boss hurt?” You mocked, going back to highlighting an important line in the research paper- perhaps, the tenth paper of the night. You were scrounging through them for any information on working with a chemical bond as unique and complex as the angel’s essence.
When Seonghwa didn’t answer or threaten to kill you, which was the likelier response, you looked at him to find him with a sombre expression. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” he shook his head.
“Something is,” you shifted your attention to him. “Feeling alright?”
“Yeah, I’m just… confused,” he admitted. “Having someone live inside you does that to you, I suppose.”
You shrugged, watching him carefully. “If you have a problem, you can ask me. You know that, right? Forget about the ranks for once, Seonghwa. You know you can trust me.”
“I know,” he nodded assuringly. “I just don’t like this. That’s all there is to it.”
You pouted. Nothing you could do about that.
Seonghwa had a multitude of questions to ask you about the angel but he decided to hold them for now. Instead, he locked your devices and took your hands, steering you to the bed. You laughed- your old Seonghwa was back. He tucked you in the sheets, just like he had done a thousand times now when you were little and would fall asleep in the middle of studying. Dimming the lights until there was only one lamp at the front of the room, its white light creating a soft halo effect in the room, he got on the other side and silence took over. The sounds of your unsynchronised breaths started to fill the room.
You turned your neck to find him wide awake, staring at the ceiling. You felt a pang of longing inside you- you wished you could hold him and tell him that it would soon be over, that you were sorry, that you wished you could make it better and you did not like seeing him acting so unlike himself-
“Shut up, you’re too loud,” he said and you snickered. You shifted until you were facing him though he didn’t move.
“What did you hear?”
“You’re sorry. You don’t like when I act strange, though you do enjoy it,” he spared you a glance and you grinned.
“That’s only half of it, though.”
“Would I want to hear the other half?” He asked.
“Well… some things are better left unsaid for a reason, eh?”
Seonghwa shifted to mirror your position, now facing each other. It was a good thing that there was still a respectable distance between you two. Sleeping like this had never been a problem- you didn’t have the luxury of sleeping in separate spaces for most part of your childhood, and once you did have the luxury, you would find each other anyway.
“Something tells me I should hear it anyway.”
“Ah, it’s the sentimental Seonghwa tonight, I see,” you retorted and when he shot you a glare, you gave in. “I wish I could make this situation better for you.”
“Hmm… you’re doing your best, though. Try harder from tomorrow,” he ordered and you muttered a ‘yes sir’. “What’s the last bit?”
You bit your lips- would you dare tell him now? If he pushed you away, you would have to live with that.
But then… he pushed you away all the time anyway, and there was Hwa. He made up for it.
“I just…” you started, finding his hand under the sheets and brushing your fingers against his. He remained still. “I just want you to hold on if things get hard.”
“Things will get better,” Seonghwa said, the words sounding like a lie even to himself. “I know I could die, we both could if the angels or anyone finds out about this, but… it will be okay. We will survive this, y/n. We always do.”
“I don’t want to live through that pain again,” you whispered.
“Tsk. You’re strong. You’re a warrior, and you will survive,” he assured you. “I will make sure you do.”
While he did not hold your hand, he let your fingers remain where they were, caressing his and you moved just a bit so you could lightly link them. A shaky breath left your lips as you allowed yourself to relax, welcoming sleep and leaving Seonghwa to wonder if he could say the same about himself- would he survive this ordeal?
He would wonder about that later.
~
When you opened your eyes the next morning, you were greeted by the sight of Seonghwa who was already awake and watching you. You frowned, rubbing your eyes and moving to check the time before slumping right back- you could still get a few minutes of sleep.
You shut your eyes and curled your body, fisting the sheets, your head spinning with drowsiness. About a minute passed when you realised that the person watching you sleep wasn’t Seonghwa-
It was the angel.
You opened one eye to find him watching you with the softest gaze, lips parted. Your heart would have swooped if you weren’t half asleep.
“Never watched a human sleep, eh?” You asked, voice raspy.
“Not like this- not so closely,” he admitted.
And perhaps, the drowsiness was getting to your head. You moved closer, tucking your head under his chin. The angel’s body tensed and you grinned to yourself- your bodies were still maintaining a distance but at least he wouldn’t be able to see your sleepy face.
“There we go. You can take an even closer look now,” you said, preparing to go back to sleep.
“I cannot see you anymore,” the angel complained.
“Perhaps, that is the whole point,” you told him.
“I suppose I can try something else then.”
Before you could ask what was going on in his head, he was tucking you closer, wrapping his arm around your waist. For a few moments, drowsiness left and clarity overcame your senses- Seonghwa had never cuddled like this with you. This- one arm draped over your waist, keeping you close, his other hand caressing your hair in an attempt to lull you back to sleep, your breaths synchronising with the rise and fall of his chest…
Heavens above.
“Do I scare you?” The angel asked cautiously and you made the mistake of looking up, finding his eyes filled with worry.
“No,” you admitted, watching his expressions morph into what had to be happiness.
“Then relax, and get your fill of sleep.”
Easier said than done. The fact that it was ultimately Seonghwa’s body and his voice made this entire situation more difficult to comprehend. However, there was no other choice but to relax in the angel’s touch and perhaps, that’s what you were meant to do for now. You relaxed a bit and fisted his shirt- Seonghwa’s shirt- instead of the sheets.
And when you woke up later, the angel was asleep, looking content. You knew it was the angel because Seonghwa looked like he was fighting demons even in his sleep. You smiled at the sight, daring to caress the angel- Seonghwa’s- face, feeling something sad building inside you. You tucked his hair away, the strands as soft as you remembered from years ago. You ran your fingers through his hair-
Wincing when you felt a sharp burn against your finger. You drew away your hand, finding a small part of your index finger singed- was there something in his hair? You cautiously ran your hand through his hair again-
A little yelp escaped your mouth as you felt a sharper burn this time and you clutched at your hand, a small red welt near your thumb now-
“Oh, dear,” the angel was awake and inspecting your hand worriedly. You looked at him in confusion and surprise as he shut his eyes to say a prayer, holding your hand to his forehead and then bringing it to his lips, planting soft kisses on the burns that seemed to be patching up as if there was never a wound in the first place.
You gasped in disbelief, inspecting your hand. “How did you do that?”
“I am sorry,” the angel’s brows were furrowed in pain as if he himself had received those burns. “I did not mean to- it is probably my halo. I did not know it would burn even as a human.”
“It’s okay,” you assured, examining your hand. “I’m all patched up now, aren’t I?”
“I hurt you-”
“It’s okay,” you broke into a smile. “It didn’t hurt too much- I was more surprised.”
“I burned you-”
“Hwa,” you cupped his face, making him look at you, his eyes glazed. “I’m a strong girl. These little burns don’t make me feel much. I receive burns all the time, see?” You showed him your hands and arms, littered with faded scars of burns. “In my field, you get used to it.”
“Your skin is not meant to be marred like this.”
“But humans carry the marks of their life all the time,” you told him. “Don’t you carry something like that too? If not on your body… in your heart?”
Hwa looked at you with thoughtful eyes, moving to sit cross-legged on the bed, never letting go of your hands as you moved to sit in front of him. He sighed deeply, unable to meet your eyes.
“Do you want me to heal them?” He asked cautiously. You shook your head no.
“Each mark on my body tells a story. I’d like to keep them,” you explained.
“Can I… kiss your hands anyway?”
Oh. He was going to be the death of you.
“Do you have a thing for my hands, sir?” You joked. “These aren’t the prettiest hands ever, I can find you a better pair-”
The angel ignored your rambling, planting soft kisses on the back of both your hands before he looked up. “To me, they are beautiful, because they tell your story.”
“Hwa- you can’t just kiss my hands and act all normal afterwards. This is not normal.”
“I am an angel,” he told you, kissing each of your knuckles, looking almost drunk with his flushed cheeks and glazed eyes. “Normal cannot define or bound me.”
Your eyes twitched in half anger and half… submission.
“What are you trying to do, Hwa? What are you trying to pull?”
“Do you think I have some hidden intentions?” He asked almost dangerously, and you thought that he looked obsessive for a second. “I- I only wanted to experience this feeling, and if you want to push me away, I will go back to hide in the corners-”
“What feeling do you want to experience so badly?”
“Being human,” he said, almost spat as if the idea appalled him too. “I cannot tell if it is the human in me making me feel so strange, but I want to touch and be touched. I want to live- I want to eat like humans do and savour the flavours on my tongue. I want to bask in the sun until it starts to burn me and float in the pool until I feel one with the water. I want to hold another human, feel their heartbeat against mine, do something about the yearning in my heart- I’ve never felt like this.”
For once, you had nothing to say. You simply watched the angel curl in on himself, looking like a broken piece.
“And I’m scared,” said the wounded soul. “I’m scared that I will never be able to go back to my realm. I’m scared of being okay with that. I’m scared of enjoying these human experiences. What if I do not hate the idea of being human and they find me? I do not want to die a human, yet…”
“I’m sorry for misunderstanding you,” you did not hesitate to pull the angel in your arms. If this was what he needed, you could give him that. The angel sucked in a breath but quickly melted in your arms, clutching at you almost childishly.
“I think I understand you,” you caressed his head, not caring how it burned your skin. “You’re a human, for now, whether you like it or not. This is your chance to experience what it is like to be a human without any boundaries. No one is stopping you, and I… I will protect you… until you are ready to go back. I hope you will be welcomed with open arms when you go back. You must miss your home so much, Hwa. I’m sorry I didn’t realise that- you do not have to be human to miss your home.”
Hwa buried his face in the crook of your neck, taking deep breaths. You winced at your damaged hands, resorting to hold him still instead.
“Have you always been this mellow, oh angel?” You asked.
“This is who I am,” the angel admitted, drawing away. “But you have seen how angry I can get.”
“Yeah, angry is an ugly look even on angels,” you agreed, shivering at the memory when you felt like he would have obliterated your existence with a mere swipe of his finger. You showed him your hands and he winced, looking apologetic but you smiled, making pride swell in his heart. With a prayer, he kissed every burn mark until your hands were back to normal.
“I will try to refrain from caressing your head from now on,” you stretched your fingers. “My hands are precious to me, thank you very much.”
The angel laughed, a small part of him knowing you wouldn’t be able to do that. You shared a laugh, smacking his back and asking him to get up and join you for breakfast.
Once again, in the privacy of your room, you crumbled to the floor.
What were you doing? Letting the angel touch and hold you like that- he was supposed to be the touch-starved being, but you were no better. How could you do this to yourself- to Seonghwa?
Just what were you getting yourself into?
And why did the consequences of your actions not scare you?
Everything seemed to be in order in your life and Seonghwa’s, yet it had never been like this before.
Seonghwa never talked about your intimate interaction with the angel- you knew that he was able to see fragments of what was happening through the shared subconsciousness, and if he tried, he could even share consciousness now given that the angel would not resist.
Either Seonghwa did not mind, which was unlikely, or for once, he had nothing to say, which was odd. He always had something to say about every situation, and his silence was louder than ever.
However, his behaviour was the same- in fact, he had grown more understanding in the past few days. Understanding of his situation, of the lack of control he had over his own body. Understanding that you were still trying to find ways to get the angel out of his body, contacting every demon summoner and going to dangerous places with him to learn more about the dark arts. You would never tell a soul that you were doing this for an angel.
You had also started to look into the history of angels, and while the angel himself didn’t share much about his realm- sworn to secrecy, perhaps- he guided you anyway. He was able to confirm or deny whatever you read about angels.
You came across his real name in one of the books and learned that he was an angel of fire- while he was not an archangel, he was considered to be one of the angels with their own conscience, which meant that he was capable of sin. You were confused about that topic so the angel silently turned the pages of your book until you were at the section of ‘Fallen Angels’.
That day, the angel wished to go out and fly, so you took him to the mountains instead where you sat on the edge of a rock and watched the world below. That’s when you asked him if there really was good and evil in every human.
“Humans are not inherently good, but humans lack the desire to sin when they are younger. As they grow older in their intellect, the desire to sin becomes something appealing to them. The more a person sins, the more evil they become until the goodness in their heart is nowhere to be found.”
“Do you think there’s any good in Seonghwa’s heart?” You asked and the angel looked at you. Dressed like Seonghwa in a fur coat with his hair twisted back and tied, you almost thought it was Seonghwa himself sitting beside you.
“Do you believe there is good in this human’s heart?” The angel questioned.
“Maybe,” you pouted.
“Does it matter to you if there is?”
“If it mattered, I would have left long ago,” you admitted and the angel nodded.
“I cannot say if there is good in this heart, but there was something that pulled me to him instead of you, when I was going to possess you. Maybe the evil inside me resonated with his nature.”
“But you’re an angel,” you looked at him. “You’re not evil.”
“There is the desire in me to sin, therefore I am capable of being evil,” the angel responded. “I feel as if I am sinning even now. Sitting with a human, stuck inside one, unable to perform my duties…”
“Do you hate being evil so much? If this is what evil is to you?”
The angel did not answer your question. And it got you thinking that maybe, there was a goodness inside Seonghwa that created the space for the angel. If that was the case, there was evil inside the angel too. Maybe, this was the true meaning of balance- a human too evil, and an angel too good, yet both containing a little kernel of pureness and darkness in their hearts- both coexisting inside one body.
But if being human was what encompassed the idea of being evil for an angel, this angel sure was enjoying the most mundane experiences. He was no longer opposed to trying out new things- a smoke, which had him coughing his lungs out later, cotton candy from the stall because it looked like clouds (Seonghwa was not pleased about that, claiming it left an aftertaste in his mouth), and food. Food of all kinds because apparently, the human had not been enjoying eating lately.
The angel’s curiosity wasn’t satiated with just that. You almost felt as if you were teenagers again and going on dates. From picking flowers in gardens to learning how to ride a bike. You made sure all your outings were away from the eyes of the staff or anyone who could recognise you, because you were sure no one would like the most notorious mafia leader in the town wiping dust off the petals of flowers or screaming like a banshee before falling down from the bicycle unceremoniously.
The angel- Hwa- was laughing like a human and it warmed your heart because Seonghwa had never been able to laugh like that. His laugh was pure and unrestrained, something humans usually wished for. His eyes sparkled as he observed the human world, watching and learning the concept of a family, of friends, of lovers. You could only wish Seonghwa was learning something along with the angel too.
While the angel started growing closer to you, the human started growing distant. Whenever Seonghwa took control of his body, he would busy himself with work and not correspond with you much- on anything. It would be up to you to update him of the recent developments, or learnings, or whatever you wished to tell him- he seemed the most uninterested. He didn’t care anymore if you wanted to talk, keep him under your surveillance or leave him alone. It was almost as if he had sworn himself to the silent treatment.
This wasn’t the first time he behaved that way, but it was different this time. Whenever you did something wrong or made any sort of mistake, it was a given that Seonghwa was going to give you the cold shoulder for at least a couple of weeks. You could try to make him give in- bribe him with something that he could not resist (the latest Lego usually did the trick- he may be the mafia boss but he loved his legos) or treat him to something nice. That usually solved the matter, but each time you were not allowed to defend yourself. Sure, he would hear you out occasionally, but he would rarely ever be convinced.
This time was different. While he did not consciously push you away, his behaviour was doing nothing to help you. It was getting harder for you to not look forward to Hwa taking over- at least he didn’t look at you with contempt. Something was off about Seonghwa, and you were trying to ask him what was bothering him so much- he refused to meet eyes with you or converse with you properly and you knew no bribery could resolve this.
“Have we dispatched the first batch of drugs to Assemblyman Hwang?”
“We have, it’s written there,” you pointed at his tab and he hummed, dodging your question once again. You decided to change the topic.
“Do you think we should try something like exorcism? An angelic version of it? The theory doesn’t sound bad, does it?”
“I don’t know,” he shrugged. “Whatever you feel like.”
You stared at him- he was trying so hard to act normal. This wasn’t going to work.
“Are there any more documents to sign? My fingers are starting to hurt- you know how I was in the lab all day working with specimens-”
“So?” Seonghwa dropped the pen and finally looked at you, eyes cold enough to send a shiver along your spine. “Do you want the angel to take over and worship your hands again?”
You scoffed in disbelief, wondering if that was a joke. When he went back to marking notes, you tapped on the table to get his attention.
“Say that again,” you challenged.
“We all know how much you crave affection,” Seonghwa muttered. “Good thing the angel is willing to show you some, at least.”
Unbelievable. This was what was bothering him?
“I asked you time and time again to tell me if something was bothering you- why did you keep your feelings bottled up only to stab me with your words now?” You asked. “You think I enjoy the fact that you’re sharing your body with an angel? Forget about what the angel does, you think I really want you to disappear?”
“It sure feels like that sometimes. You’re doing well without me, aren’t you?” Seonghwa scoffed.
You felt blood rush to your head, making your vision go red for a moment. Rage.
“I’m cooperating with the angel, Seonghwa. I’m playing along with anything the angel wants so you don’t have to suffer, you miserable, miserable bastard. I’m doing all of this so that the angel shares consciousness with you and does not mess up your business- or would you rather have the angel taking over and actively fighting back? Fuck you,” you spat, throwing your own pen across the table which he barely caught.
Not a hint of remorse in those eyes, though his little smirk had disappeared.
“You’ve always sheltered me all your life,” you got up, lowering your voice and this time, guilt did flash in his eyes for a mere second. “You’ve made sure I had no one except you, and you made sure my eyes only found you- that I only looked at you. So forgive me, Seonghwa, if you finally look back for once and I still find my defences crumbling when it isn’t even you.”
With that, you turned to pick up your belongings and leave-
And when you heard the familiar sigh that marked the angel taking over, you froze.
Had Hwa perhaps heard that? All of that?
You cautiously looked at him, finding his eyes filled with hurt. He almost looked grieved.
“Hwa-”
“Stop,” the angel raised his hand in the air, his voice dripping with sadness. “Not another word-”
“No, listen-”
“I know what I mean to you now,” Hwa said with a restrained voice as if still struggling to accept what he had heard. “There is nothing more that you can offer me.”
“I only said all of that because of Seonghwa,” you explained gently. “I did not mean that-”
“Yeah, Seonghwa heard that,” the angel said, shutting his eyes. “The damage has been done, human. To both of us.”
“Hwa, angel,” you dropped your stuff and took a few steps towards him but he left the room, leaving you regretting every word that you had said. Your eyes welled with tears and you took a few deep breaths, the tight feeling in your throat growing with each passing second.
You needed to find him- Hwa.
You looked in Seonghwa’s room first, but he wasn’t there. You wondered if he went to the pool and on your way there, you searched the rooms, asking the few staff members who were present if they had seen their boss around. None of them had.
And when you found the pool empty, you sank to the ground and buried your face between your knees, letting out choked sobs- it had been years since you had cried. You were not sure if you were crying because of Seonghwa, or Hwa, or just everything-
But it looked like you would be filling the pool with your tears tonight.
You cried until there were no more tears left, until your clothes were soaked. You sobbed until your throat felt raw, your nails leaving dents in your skin where you dug them in your palm. You silently cried until you heard the familiar footsteps, and it was almost surprising how that triggered a fresh stream of tears.
Was that Seonghwa? Or was that the wretched angel who had taken over your mind and soul? It didn’t matter anymore-
“Why do you cry, my dear?”
The damned angel. You brought your knees closer in an attempt to hide your face, but it looked like the angel was not going to give up. He sat in front of you, taking your hands in his and making you flinch visibly. Hurt, he let go of them.
“What is the reason for your tears?” He asked gently. You took a deep breath, sneaking a peek and finding his eyes puffy as well.
“Don’t tell me that you cried and wasted your essence,” you muttered, making the angel shake his head in disbelief.
“I told you that the essence is of no use to you. I wiped every trace of it, don’t worry.”
You sighed, burying your head back between your knees. This time, when the angel hesitantly brushed his fingers against yours, you didn’t flinch away. However, he made no attempt to hold your hands either, only tracing the outlines of your fingers.
“I am sorry for my behaviour,” the angel said and you looked up at him. “I should have given you a chance to speak. I know humans say things they do not mean all the time- and if it is of any relief to you, your human Seonghwa did not mean to hurt you like that either.”
“It doesn’t matter,” you told him. “The damage has been done.”
The angel gave you a look. “You have a habit of throwing my words back at me.”
“It’s the truth, though,” you said, getting up and the angel followed. You wiped your face, tired. “I meant what I said. Every word of it. Yet…”
You looked sideways, biting your lips to keep more words from spilling. The angel looked at you expectantly.
“Seonghwa is not able to hear or see anything right now- I’ve pushed him back. So you can say what you want to me.”
You took a deep breath. “I’m not spending time with you because I’m scared of you, or scared of what you will do to Seonghwa. Yes, initially I was- of course I would be. I’m only a human and you’re a divine being. However… I don’t know, Hwa. I’ve always wanted Seonghwa to really look at me, to acknowledge me. And when you look at me, when you are with me… strangely, I find myself forgetting all about Seonghwa.”
“Is that the truth?” He asked cautiously and you nodded. You weren’t going to lie now.
“I’m exhausted. I don’t know what I want or what I’m doing, but I just want you to know that I like you. I’m not simply cooperating with you, I like spending time with you- just you, the angel who’s beginning to live like a human. I know I’m supposed to get you out of this body even if it means that you get hurt in the process, and frankly, I’m still searching for a way to get you out, but…”
“But?” The angel asked and you mustered the last bits of courage in you, for the final declaration- the one you were too afraid to admit and even more scared to say out loud.
“Tell me,” the angel beckoned, taking a step towards you. You let your eyes scan him- the body of Seonghwa, clad in a black shirt and slacks, yet not his demeanour. Seonghwa’s face, yet unlike any expressions he had worn. His messy curls falling on his face only made him look more human, and it hurt.
“I don’t want you to leave, angel,” you confessed with a short laugh, letting the angel wonder what that meant. You turned to leave- at least you could put distance between the two of you-
“Then stay. Make me stay,” the angel’s voice was firm, almost as commanding as Seonghwa’s, but authoritative in an entirely different manner. A request, a favour. A plea.
“You’re an angel,” you reminded him, your voice wavering. “You are supposed to be performing your duties, you are supposed to be righteous and not give in to sin.”
“Yet here I am,” he shrugged, smiling in defeat. “Falling from grace and finding pleasure in sin- if this is what sin is.”
“Can I really ask you to stay?” You held your breath.
“You could ask me to fall from the heavens, and I would. I think I have already fallen. And I’m afraid of what I will let myself do for you, so stay, please.”
This was an angel, ready to sink to his knees for you. Your breath quickened as you turned, your heart ready to burst from the sheer amount of emotions.
“Where’s Seonghwa?”
“Not anywhere near,” the angel confirmed, the two of you moving towards each other, the magnetic pull stronger than ever. Your arms wrapped around each other in a tight embrace, laughter bubbling out from the angel’s body and you soon joined- smiling in relief.
This was where you were meant to be. In his arms, feeling safe. Feeling loved.
You broke apart, his hands resting on the dip of your waist. You brought your hands to wipe the remnants of his tears from his eyelids, shaking your head and he smiled guiltily. Your gaze stuck on his parted, plump lips and before the angel could express any doubts, you secured your confession by capturing his lips in a soft kiss, making the angel freeze.
You drew back and looked at him in confusion, anxiety starting to bubble in your throat once again- had you made a wrong move? However, the angel seemed as if he was in a daze, his eyes travelling all over your face.
“What do you think you are doing, love?” He asked, cupping your face and tucking your hair back, not giving you a second to respond as he kissed your forehead sweetly, moving to pepper kisses all over your face, sometimes letting his lips linger as if he was relishing the feel of his lips against your skin. You fisted his shirt and raised your face right when he leaned down, your lips colliding in a passionate, slow kiss that soon started feeling heated as you moved your mouths in tandem with each other, pulling each other impossibly closer.
You broke apart for breath but it looked like the angel was not planning to let you go. He sucked at your lower lip and you welcomed him with an open mouthed kiss, making the angel lose his footing and take a few steps back, your laughter and breaths mingling. You grinned, leaping in his arms and making him back away another few steps as he struggled to maintain balance while kissing you at the same time-
And due to his own fault, forgetting there was a pool full of water behind, he let the force of your kiss physically push him back until there was no ground under his feet and he clutched at you, both of you yelping as you fell in the cool water.
You almost swallowed some but managed to find your way up, laughing helplessly at the state of you two- absolutely drenched. The angel swiped his hair back and you let your eyes roam all over his upper body, the fabric of his shirt clinging to the muscles that Seonghwa had worked hard to build. For a moment, a tiny moment, you remembered Seonghwa but any thoughts of him went out of your head when you spotted Hwa scan your body with a searing gaze that stuck on the way your clothes clung to you.
“Like what you see?” You teased. The angel licked his lips in response, swimming closer and wrapping his arms around your waist, bringing your bodies flush against each other. You breathed heavily, letting his shoulders act as a brace as you lifted your body and captured his lips in a wet kiss, tasting water and kissing him as if he was meant to quench your thirst. You made out for what seemed like hours, his hands travelling all over your body, alternating from kissing your lips to feasting on your neck, his groans and moans fuelling you, your hands and arms singed in various spots, even nicked at places.
“Oh, angel,” you whispered against his ears, sucking at his earlobe. “They might clip your wings for this.”
“I do not need to fly if I am with you,” he declared, cupping your face and making you lock eyes with him. “How did you entrap me with that demonic heart of yours, human?”
All you could do was smile devilishly in response. “Maybe you have craved darkness all your life.”
“Perhaps,” he kissed your lips sweetly. “If this is what darkness is… I wish I will never see the light again.”
“Shut up,” you laughed, hugging him tightly.
Angel. Your angel. The light in your dark life.
He kissed the cuts and burns on your arms, preparing you to get hurt for him again. A pain that you were starting to get addicted to.
Seonghwa had never had to apologise for a thing in his life.
Every decision he made came with consequences and he might harbour regrets but he would never bow down in front of someone and apologise. The other parties involved would just have to make peace with that.
He did not believe in the idea of apologising, even when time and time again he caused you hurt or discomfort and you demanded that he show some remorse to make things better. He preferred to let the tension die down instead and let your defences lower until you would forget that he wronged you in the first place. You only had him, so where would you go if you broke things off with him?
However, as Seonghwa got a look at himself through the reflection of the mirror-engraved wall of Assemblyman Hwang’s office, he shut his eyes for a moment and saw red. He willed himself to maintain his composure and smiled at the Assemblyman.
No wonder the man wasn’t taking him seriously.
“- rest assured, we’ll do our best to keep this inside the underworld channels and not let any scandals surface, so you can keep on providing us with the goods, okay?” the man said, pouring red wine for the both of them while Seonghwa clenched and unclenched his fists. “I mean, I know we almost messed up but we were quick to clean it up-”
“If another mess-up happens,” Seonghwa started in a low voice, making the middle-aged man frown, “Not only will I retract and clean up your mess, but I will make sure to wipe all evidence. And that, of course, includes all consumers. You understand that, right?”
Seonghwa took a sip of the red wine, watching the politician fidget with his clothes, a nervous laugh escaping his mouth. “Of course!”
Seonghwa set the glass on the table. “It’s a dark world we live in. Gotta make sure it doesn’t get any darker, yeah?”
The politician, who always rambled about eradicating darkness from the world in his campaigns, grimaced at the mockery of his slogan. Seonghwa got up and left the room, hiding his face with his fur coat as much as he could.
Once inside the privacy of his car, he glared at the driver who squirmed but got the message. Seonghwa slumped back and wiped at his left cheek where the very vivid and recognisable red kiss mark was printed.
He was going to kill you for making a fool of him.
It was his fault- the driver had tried to warn him with a ‘Um, sir… you might want to freshen up before the meeting’. Thinking that the driver was just suggesting that because he was meant to meet a politician, Seonghwa told him that there was no need. He did not need to look anything else than the crazy man that he was. His appearance was crucial in making first impressions, and with this rough look, he wanted to show the politician just who he was dealing with. He had some points to get across.
However, the kiss mark on his cheek watered down that roughness wantonly. No wonder the politician had been smirking for the entire duration of the meeting.
Seonghwa sighed deeply. Again, it was his fault, ultimately. He never apologised for the argument you both had, and after regaining consciousness and finding himself under covers with you, snuggled way too close for his liking, he waited until you got up. He did not like the way your expressions darkened when you realised it was not the angel anymore.
You simply informed him that the angel and you had a talk, and he had decided to block Seonghwa from watching his consciousness. Seonghwa and you got into an argument again where he wondered if you were trying to do something behind his back- an assumption he immediately regretted making- and you told him that the only time Hwa would be blocking Seonghwa would be when you and Hwa had something ‘personal’ going on; nothing regarding Seonghwa and his state- or his business, even. Seonghwa tried to probe in hopes of getting an answer as to what ‘personal’ entailed but you didn’t give in.
And it seemed like he got his answer anyway. While the angel was consciously trying to block him at times, he saw the way you looked at Hwa very well. You used to look at him like this before, eyes wide and expectant, something like affection dripping from them. And now you had found someone else-
Except this was also Seonghwa, technically. One body, one mind, but two different souls.
He just needed to find out if you were serious about this- the angel inside his body was going to leave one day. If you were doing this just to piss Seonghwa off… it was working, but you did not need to go to such extents.
He did not want you to go to such an extent. He did not want to carry your kiss marks just anywhere- those things were meant to stay in the privacy of his house, right? He did not want to wake up with you in his arms anymore, without any memories of how you got there in the first place. He was supposed to be the one who tucked you in bed- only him. He did not want to hear the echoes of your laughter in his subconsciousness- he did not want you to laugh like that in front of just anyone. He did not want his lips to hold the whisper of your name or the taste of your skin- no one could touch you like that.
He was going to kill you. For sure. But first, he was going to block the angel out of his mind.
Seonghwa wasn’t sure how that would work, but he tried his best to focus on what was here and what was real instead of the being inside his head. Once he arrived at your lab where he was supposed to pick you up and take you home, he asked the driver to stay, opting to find you himself. The lab was a nice place to get rid of you- he wouldn’t need to clean the mess. Your own people would clean that up for you, just like they had always wiped the evidence of your sins.
At the sight of your tired figure making a chart on the wall with the progress of your ‘angelic expulsion’ discoveries, all his resolve crumbled.
You had a habit of making charts and calculating probabilities to visualise your learnings- whether it be about your scientific data, theoretical data or mundane things- would Seonghwa be able to kill the rival gang’s leader? Probability– 89 percent. Factors– temper, first and foremost, which affects his strategy and attack. Accounts for 11 percent though the figure may vary on how his day went. Factors– me. Am I in danger? If I am, the probability of winning increases exponentially because he won’t let a fly hurt me. If I am not… does it decrease his willpower? Check-
Seonghwa found himself smiling at the memory- you were making this effort- for him, right? Despite everything, you were trying to get the angel out of his body so he could leave you both alone, right?
You caught Seonghwa staring at you from the window and beckoned him to come inside. He entered with a huff and you frowned at his cold stance.
“What? Did the meeting not end well?” You asked.
“It went well, but it could have gone better were it not for-” Seonghwa pointed at his cheek and it took a moment to click.
“Oh,” you grinned. “Did I forget to wipe that? My bad-”
Seonghwa walked in front of you but you did not move. He peered down at you, watching you with a threatening gaze. It would have worked on others, but it didn’t work on you- not anymore.
“Have you made it your life’s mission to get back at me? This is playing dirty, Doctor.”
“Oh, so I’m ‘Doctor’ now, eh? Keeping it professional this time?” You narrowed your eyes. “Honestly, I forgot to wipe that-”
“You can’t tell me that wasn’t deliberately placed there,” Seonghwa countered.
“It was deliberately placed. Just not for you,” you patted his chest before turning away, wanting to get away from him but he grabbed your wrist and brought you right back where you were- even closer this time.
“This is not the first time, though,” Seonghwa smiled dangerously, fixing your glasses for you and tucking your hair back. “It’s a repeated offence, darling.”
It was. You were purposely trying to mess with Seonghwa, that was partly true. From making the angel try Seonghwa’s least favourite drink just before he was about to switch so there would be an aftertaste in Seonghwa’s mouth, to messing up with his appearance or clothes. Seonghwa’s patience was running out for all the right reasons.
“Hmm, well,” you tried not to squirm under his gaze. “I’m guilty.”
“I came here planning to kill you for once and all,” Seonghwa admitted, cocking his head and watching his finger trail down the curves of your face. This wasn’t the first time you had heard this phrase, but something told you that he might actually have been considering it. “But it looks like you are making some effort. Progress, even?”
“Ah, this?” You gulped, looking at the board. “Yeah, I think I’m onto something- but there’s a catch, and… I’ll have to talk with Hwa to make sure this doesn’t end bad for any of you-”
“For any of us?” Seonghwa frowned. “You’re only supposed to care about how it ends for me. That being is an angel, he’ll make it-”
“But I want him to make it out safely,” you interrupted, trying to get a point across but Seonghwa seemed too frustrated to process it. “It would be in our best interests if the angel leaves safely-”
“Your best interest,” Seonghwa pointed his finger at you, giving in and huffing. “Not mine. It was never about me, was it?”
“You’re right, not everything is about you. Just listen to me for once, you fool,” you scolded, making him sit on a stool so you could meet his eyes properly and hopefully assert some authority. “Suppose the angel somehow gets hurt or dies. That’s going to be the end of your empire- a horrible, miserable end. We’re lucky this angel got stuck inside you and all his rage dissipated because you’re too stubborn to let the angel take control. You understand?”
“I understand everything,” Seonghwa said calmly. “I just don’t understand why you care about the angel- what is he to you, y/n?”
What was Hwa to you?
The angel who looked past the sins that covered the entirety of your heart, scratched through the darkness to find a home in your heart. The angel that burned you and hurt you with his love, shed tears for you and healed you only to put you through the pain of loving him again. The angel that wanted you to release him from the clutches of the demon that Seonghwa was, yet wished to stay and give up who he was so he could be with you.
If someone would hear that out loud, they would laugh in disbelief, but you had never craved something good and pure all your life until you met Hwa. You were content in the darkness next to Seonghwa, were you not?
“Cat got your tongue?” Seonghwa asked and you shook your head, but there was nothing else left to say. He asked you to join him in the car and you followed after a few moments with your belongings, the ride home awfully silent.
That night, you did not join him in his room. You stayed in yours, darkness swallowing your room and you. Perhaps, if you stared long enough into the distance, you would become one with the dark.
However, a few hours and a soft knock later, you were joined by your doom and your salvation- only you did not know which one it was thanks to the lack of light in the room. The figure plopped down next to you on the floor with a heavy sigh, his shoulders brushing with yours and you both sat in utter silence.
When his fingers brushed with yours, you almost thought it was Hwa- he must have heard your conversation, must want answers. But when he wrapped your hand in his and squeezed it with a promise, you knew it wasn’t the angel.
It was the demon- and you were no longer sure if he was your doom or your salvation.
“This isn’t a sorry attempt at an apology, is it, Seonghwa?” You asked and you could almost hear him smile.
“I’ll be dead before you hear those words out of my mouth. You know that,” he said and you squeezed his hand back.
A few moments of silence passed, thick with confusion and tension. You caved in and asked, “What’s going on in your head?”
“I don’t know, but the angel is asleep for once,” Seonghwa told you. “It almost feels like I’m back to who I was, except… even when the angel is asleep, I’m carrying remnants of him.”
“What does that mean?”
Seonghwa squeezed your hand in answer- this. This was unusual- sure, there was a certain extent of physical ‘affection’ between you two, if it could even be called affection. It was reserved for teasing, and in rare cases, support.
“I don’t know why I’m here, but I am, and I don’t want to leave.”
“You love me,” you teased and he laughed a bit, but when he did not deny that, your smile fell- and for once, you were glad it was so dark.
“You’re incapable of love, Seonghwa. I think something in you broke when you loved your other half only to let him go so soon.”
His brother- not in the biological sense, but a family nonetheless. While you and Seonghwa were reflections of each other, Hongjoong and Seonghwa had been as similar as they were different. Hongjoong was the light, pulling Seonghwa out of his darkness while Seonghwa pulled him back in. And what a pair they made, balancing each other out in every sense yet never clashing, each rotten in their own twisted ways. It had been Hongjoong’s idea to leave the orphanage and mingle with the gangs- he did not leave with you two but found you just a week later, covered in soot and blood but smiling like a free spirit.
He had freed all the kids from the orphanage that destroyed you all- the people who clipped your wings when you hadn’t even learned to walk. He freed the kids, burned the building and all the guilty parties involved- at the mercy of luck. He got the kids to another orphanage through his connections-
And when Seonghwa asked him if you could use those kids to test your drugs on, Hongjoong had shaken his head in amusement but allowed it. It was ultimately bad luck that took his life only a few years later, right before Seonghwa’s career peaked.
He had not been the same since- and you understood. Hongjoong was your friend too- you grieved with him but he never moved on. He got their nickname tattooed on his neck so he was reminded every moment of what he lost.
“I think I’ve always been like this,” Seonghwa countered. “You just need an excuse to justify my behaviour towards you.”
Well. That was also partially true.
“But you’ve always accepted me as I am,” Seonghwa continued. “Some might think you actually love me, y/n.”
“But I do,” you admitted with a whisper. “I thought you knew that by now.”
“You love the whisper of good that you think I possess, dear,” Seonghwa corrected gently. “And once I got possessed by the angel, you found an excuse to love me without harbouring any guilt in that twisted heart of yours.”
If words could tear your heart apart- this was why the truth was so harsh. You took a shuddery breath and Seonghwa caressed your hand.
“You weren’t meant to live in the dark, y/n. I pulled you in and clung to you because you were the only one who saw me for who I am. Perhaps, even a better version of who I was, though I didn’t need that.”
“That’s arguable,” you laughed a bit. “I’ve got more blood on my hands than I can ever atone for. All for what? For science? For you?”
“You make it sound like it’s a bad thing,” he teased. You both chuckled at that, knowing very well how bad it was. You let a few moments pass, clutching on to his hand and he sensed the question before you said it out loud.
“Why did you come inside the room that day, Seonghwa? Why did you try to shield me from the angel?”
Silence. Only the sound of your breaths in the room.
“To protect you, of course,” Seonghwa answered. “Because you are my weapon, and I am your shield.”
Oh, him and his words.
“Isn’t it the other way round?” You pondered out loud. “You act like my weapon sometimes too-”
“Because,” he said, almost sounding as soft as the angel. “Because I saw the angel look at you the way only I am supposed to look at you. Did he take a look into your heart? Did he find it captivating- is that why he decided to possess you? I could not let the angel taint my warrior any further, so I shielded you.”
“Except the angel liked that,” you sighed in realisation. “The angel found your courage more attractive and got pulled towards you.
“Yet the angel continues to taint your body,” Seonghwa clasped your hand in his. “I don’t like that. I don’t like it at all.”
Silence. The sound of your heart beats.
“There is a pureness in your heart, Seonghwa,” you concluded. “And… there is a darkness in the angel’s heart- I’ve seen it. You balance each other just right. That is why the angel is stuck inside you, and I’m beginning to wonder if you two are beyond help now.”
Deafening silence this time.
“You will try, at least once. For me,” Seonghwa declared.
“I will try more than once for you, if it means it will work and you two will be separate entities, and-” you faltered, the whisper of the promise you made with Hwa ghosting on your lips.
If there was a guarantee that the angel would be able to stay in the human realm after leaving this body, you would perform whatever ritual, whatever sacrifice was required. But if there was none… you would not let him leave this body.
And now with Seonghwa right next to you, you wondered if the promise you made came from your heart. Hwa made you promise that and put the words between your lips, but did you mean it? Were you really going to keep that promise? Would you risk Seonghwa’s well-being for the angel?
Or were you just caught between two utterly selfish beings, holding the key to freedom for one or the other, or none?
When you got a call from Dr. Choi in the middle of the night, asking you to check the files he had sent you and come to the lab if possible, you were glad that Hwa had not taken over tonight and you were in your own room, which meant that you could sneak out without the angel’s knowledge.
And in the middle of tiptoeing through the hall did you realise-
Why were you wary of the angel now?
Sure, the angel had told you time and time again that you could not possibly make use of his essence- you could learn from its chemical composition if that pleased you, but he was adamant about you not experimenting with it. You understood why- working with demonic essence had been risky business and this time, there was the threat of the angel realm finding out about your work too.
However, one thing you had realised in the past few days was that the angel was a soldier at his very core. A soldier of god, bound to duty and true to his morals despite being in a human body and trying to live like one. There were still some boundaries the angel was unwilling to cross, and you were beginning to think if his righteousness was what was hindering you from making some groundbreaking discovery about the essence or if you were simply too trusting of him.
And then there was the fact that the angel wanted you- wanted to be with you. He spent all his conscious hours by your side, looking past your sins and loving you for the person that you were at the very core. He claimed that that person was beautiful and everything he could ever have desired for. He held you as if you were fragile, kissed you as if that was the last time he would get to do so, and loved you like no human ever could. He bowed in front of you and thanked you for seeing him as something other than the being that he was. His love was burning but it was pure.
His love was pure, but it was starting to cloud your judgement and you needed to recalibrate yourself every time you were alone.
So good timing from Dr. Choi too. You drove to the lab yourself and found him wide awake, which was odd because he liked his night sleep very much. You entered the office and asked, “I couldn’t read the notes because I decided to just come and visit. Brief me.”
“You asked me to extract and replicate any components of the angelic essence that is similar to the demonic essence, right?” Dr. Choi pulled a stool for you so you could examine the sample under the microscope. “Take a look at this.”
You gave him a sceptic look before examining the two samples in front of you. For a moment, you were confused before it clicked-
“These samples- they are existing independently, without being linked in any way to the essence as a whole, right?”
“Bingo,” Dr. Choi smiled proudly. “Almost killed myself during the extraction process but I’ve managed to get the non-volatile compounds out of this. Similar to the demonic essence, but still different enough in its properties that experimentation seems like worth giving a shot to.”
“Even if this does not have medicinal properties,” you started to read the notes, “It can still become a different type of drug.”
“A new line of drugs- that’s the least that can come out of this. As for the medical side, we can always keep researching, right?”
“Seonghwa’s gonna be so pleased to hear this news-”
But Hwa.
“The angel won’t be,” Dr. Choi said out loud for you and you pursed your lips. While the doctor was not aware of the shift in your relationship with the angel, he knew very well how adamant the angel had been in not letting you conduct experimentation with his essence. “Does the angel need to know about this?”
“I mean… we could conduct our experimentation in secret. According to him, we might be under threat if we let the essence be consumed as a drug of any sort. Something about how it becomes a marker for the angels. But if we’re just experimenting and erasing any evidence of human consumption simultaneously… that shouldn't be a problem, right?”
“And technically, even if we are found by the angels or whatever, we just… die. Poof. We’re used to living under those conditions anyway- do or die.”
You shared a grin with the doctor, but could you really give him and yourself a go-ahead for human experimentation with angelic essence?
The answer was simple- you could, and you can. This was your decision, and if it were not for the angel interfering with your work, you wouldn’t even be so cautious about making your decisions. This was not you. Were you scared of the angel’s wrath? Sure. You were scared of Seonghwa’s wrath too, it wouldn’t be any different.
But this- this was your realm, and you set the rules here. No one- not Seonghwa, and certainly not Hwa could interfere.
“Contact the orphanage and the prison. We’re getting busy in the coming days.”
~
People argued about what was something that made them feel alive. What sort of human experience was exciting enough to make them feel charged, have electricity buzzing through their veins and heighten their senses?
Some called it ‘the thrill’. They searched for it in the dark pits of this world, succumbing to their desires and inevitably losing themselves, becoming as hollow as shells. While searching for a way to feel alive, they would end up losing all purpose.
Others searched for it in human experiences- love, happiness and other emotions and feelings. They would go out seeking ‘adventure’, connecting with nature and finding meaning in the simplest things- in the creation, in everything around them, in life itself.
You, however, might be the odd one out. You stood at the threshold, tipping between ‘the thrill’ and ‘human experiences’ constantly and finding home at that tipping point. Some might argue that you were delusional and your means of feeling alive was something that deserved a special kind of judgement to have you sent into the deepest, darkest pits of hell. Was hell not simply a concept that humans created to delude themselves? Some found ‘the thrill’ in the hell they created for themselves, while the others used hell as an excuse to shape themselves into what they imagined a human should be.
Your means of feeling alive- you felt the most alive when you were working in your element, in your field. When you were playing with chemicals and experimenting on live subjects - or inspecting the dead. When you were performing practically, creating products and testing them, unhindered by any ethical or legal boundaries. In this lab, you were the creator, the judge and the creation. You were the action and the consequence. Here, you found both the thrill and the human experience. Here, you were truly alive.
“Another one passes,” you watched the vitals of one of your test subjects drop significantly- nothing that could be done about it. You had fed the young adult the angelic essence and though the timespan of the reaction towards it had lengthened a bit, he went into shock soon after. You tried saving the young adult but to no avail. “Another one bites the dust.”
“The things you say sometimes,” Dr. Choi shook his head in amusement, passing you a scalpel and you carefully made a vertical incision along the subject’s upper body, grimacing at the sight of the discoloured blood. “Shit, that’s just like what happened with the demonic essence.”
“Except we’re using the same quantity- that means the angelic essence might be stronger than the demonic one. We need to dilute it further,” you decided and he agreed, continuing with the inspection of the internal organs which appeared almost burnt.
You had been spending more time in the lab in the past few days especially at night to start testing how practical an angelic drug would be. Seonghwa was aware of your recent occupation and was also a little proud of how driven you were this time. He made sure the angel would not look into his memory too much and you both decided to keep the conversation about this topic to a minimum. Seonghwa was also taking over at night time more so he could get proper sleep, he claimed, although you wondered if it was so you could have more time working in the lab.
While the angel wondered if it was because Seonghwa wanted him to stay away from you.
Hwa had no idea of the recent developments in the lab and was only aware that you had contacted the summoner from the ritual that chained him to Seonghwa and were preparing to try another ritual, currently researching if it would be safe for the both of them. He thought that was what you were busy with during the day and was wondering if that was what occupied your thoughts when you were with him.
And if the angel was a little honest with himself… he was a little scared of what you felt for Seonghwa.
He understood that Seonghwa was the only person in your life from the beginning, and your bond with him was something irreplaceable. He also tried to be understanding when Seonghwa started blocking his memories and consciousness actively- if the angel could do that to him, so could he. The angel had no right to complain anymore. However… what did the two of you do when the angel was out of the picture?
Nothing, was the answer. You would work in your respective spaces, sometimes chat about something or anything. On rare occasions when one of you was feeling sentimental, you would find the other and share comfortable silence or tease each other. That was it.
However, the angel may be oblivious to some things but he was no fool, nor was he blind. Seonghwa did feel something for you that went beyond what the word ‘love’ encompassed, and if the angel was really honest with himself, that was what he was scared of.
So at the first opportunity when Seonghwa’s defences lowered just as he was about to fall asleep, the angel violated their recent agreement and took over forcefully.
Hwa looked around, expecting to find you in the room- weren’t you supposed to keep watch on both of them? Or had you gone to your room to rest?
The angel found himself shrugging on a robe over the black tank top that he was wearing before exiting Seonghwa’s room and going towards yours. He knocked softly and opened the door, worried about waking you up if you were asleep, but he found the room empty and your usual belongings gone. So you were not home.
And that meant you had to be at the lab. There was no place else you could be- even your car was not in the garage.
So the angel found himself outside the lab, sensing something off about the air even before he entered. He found the lab room where you usually worked with Dr. Choi empty, your belongings dispersed around the room. So where were you?
A warning song- similar to the one he used to sing to the humans who needed a little reminder of how small and insignificant they really were in this world- started sounding in his head. The angel wasn’t sure if he was singing it or if it was being sung for him.
He got his answer when he found you in the dark basement, the stench of blood and something rotten filling his nostrils. He froze at the sight of you- you were beautiful, lit by the dim white overhead light, but so, so tainted with blood and sin. The dead bodies all around you… the humans that were alive but silently begging to be killed. Your eyes, sparkling as you looked around, blood splattered across your scrubs. The angel looked around and his heart sank as realisation hit him-
You were experimenting with the angelic essence.
The angel saw red before his eyes before he knocked on the door. You looked up and waved at the man, your smile falling when you realised it was the angel in front of you.
“Uh… I’ll be back,” you told Dr. Choi who told you to take your time. You were nearly done anyway and you could go home soon.
You opened the door for the angel, his gaze unforgiving and suddenly, you were gripped with the same fear that you had felt when you first saw him.
“I forbade you to not experiment with the essence, but here you are.”
“Why are you here?” You asked and the angel raised a brow.
“Funny that this is the first thing you ask,” he commented, glancing inside the room through the slightly ajar door. “Y/n… I trusted you to keep your word.”
“Look,” you sighed, taking off your mask and cap. “I’m not doing this for the medicinal drug- you told me that it would be no use and I took your word for it.”
“Then what is this for?”
“For…” you contemplated making an excuse or lying but it was too late. “For the drugs, Hwa. I’m just trying to see if a compound extracted from the essence can be consumed like the ones from the demonic essence are-”
“I told you not to experiment!” The angel raised his voice and you shut your eyes, exhaling. “Why do you need to make a drug out of angelic essence? Do you have any idea of the consequences if this gets out-”
“I do,” you started moving towards another room and once in some privacy, you glared at him, his features seeming sharper with the faint lights casting shadows on his angry face.
“It’s not like I’m manufacturing the drug, Hwa. We’re far from it- I’m only studying.”
“That is how you study?” The angel pointed towards the direction of the room and scoffed. “Killing humans as if their lives mean nothing?”
You narrowed your eyes at him, folding your arms. “You know who I am. I have blood on my hands- more blood than even Seonghwa has on his. You call him a rotten excuse of a human for who he is, right? Then I’m worse. I’m a demon, and you knew it, yet you chose to love me and hold my hands as if they were a holy relic.”
The angel’s eyes flashed with hurt- of course he knew.
“You are heartless,” he breathed out as if saying those words was hurting him. “I knew that. You are right, I knew who you were. I just thought…”
“That I would change?” You shook your head. “You thought that I would become a better person? Well, this is who I am, angel. This is what my life is. You asked me not to experiment with the essence, but you know that my heart’s deepest desire is to create more advanced drugs. You can’t stop me from doing anything to get there.”
“That is what my word means to you,” his expressions shifted from hurt to anger. “That is what my love means to you. You heartless devil. You and Seonghwa really were made for each other.”
“I may be heartless but you’re naive, and don’t think for a moment that you have any control over me, angel,” you spat the words, taking a few steps towards him for emphasis. “And you- you’re a liar. You told me that we could not get anywhere with the essence. You said you could not lie.”
The angel’s eyes almost glowed with the whirlwind of emotions that he was feeling, and your pointed finger in his face wasn’t making things better. He curled your finger back into your fist and held it in his hand, his touch physically burning you and you snatched your hand away with a yelp.
“Angels cannot lie, but they can hide the truth.”
A wave of anger washed over you and you looked at him in disbelief. “What other truths are you hiding from me? You know how to get out of this body, don’t you? Are you staying back on purpose? Are you not letting go of this body on purpose, Hwa?”
“You asked me to stay,” he smiled and you thought there was something sinister about his smile, especially as he started tucking your hair back and lightly caressing your face. “You think I am a liar, my love?”
You shook your head, nothing making sense anymore. “Just tell me if you know how to get out of this body without hurting Seonghwa.”
“I am neither lying nor hiding the truth about this. I do not know how to get out of this body.”
“Is that the complete truth?” You dared to ask and the angel didn’t answer, holding your hurt hand and saying his prayers before starting to kiss it wherever it was burned. Tears of frustration started stinging your eyes and you looked away from his burning gaze.
“Do you hate me?” The angel asked with a cautious voice and you did not respond.
It shifted something in the angel, perhaps indefinitely.
“Do not ever look away when I look at you,” he commanded, his voice settling in your bones and you felt as if you were almost compelled to meet his eyes. His face was void of expressions, gaze dark and he cupped your face, making you shut your eyes in pain when his touch started singing your skin but the angel did not care- he was far too gone in that moment. He moved closer, your bodies flush against each other and he trailed his lips along your forehead, peppering kisses along the way and then he kissed your wet lids, drawing back.
“Look at me,” he commanded again and you opened your eyes. You were frozen in place- not because you were scared, but because you simply could not believe that the angel was hurting you like this, his hands moving to your neck, wrists and any bare skin he could find, imprinting his touch in the form of light burns. He moved to kiss your cheek, licking the tears away and your breath quickened-
His love was pure, but this? This wasn’t who the angel was.
Or were you just now getting to see the true face of the angel?
As he continued to kiss your neck and leave more singes on your skin, your body responded almost automatically and you curled into his figure, shuddering. You recalled reading something about angels and fallen angels in a book– it said something about how the angels were just god’s warriors, hollow at their core, one of their wings marred with blood for eternity. You asked Hwa what really was the difference between an angel and a fallen angel at their very core, and he did not have an answer-
Was it because he was also someone like you, struggling to stand on the threshold between being an angel or becoming a fallen angel?
What sort of an angel would hurt their human like this?
And how did this angel go from crying because his touch burned you to purposely burning you? Maybe this was your fault too- you let his love burn and consume you. You were no better.
“I am violating the core of who I am in loving you,” the angel whispered in your ear, his hair tickling your cheekbone. “Do not take advantage of that… little bird.”
“Let me go,” you cupped his face, looking straight into his eyes, the name he called you finally giving you some clarity. “Let Seonghwa take over- please.”
“No,” he shook his head. “You can’t ask me to go now-”
“You’re hurting me,” you said and it was as if he could finally see the redness all over your skin. “Go, angel. Give me Seonghwa back.”
The angel’s eyes flickered with hurt, his eyes travelling all over the places that he burned you and it was as if he finally broke from his trance- he muttered a prayer and started peppering light kisses all over your face wherever his touch had burned you, his heart aching as he saw the fresh stream of tears roll down your face. Before he could do something about your neck or your hands, you drew away.
“Please, that’s enough for now,” you hardened your gaze. “We will talk later, when you are in your right mind. Let Seonghwa take over.”
“Oh, heavens above,” he sighed, ashamed of his actions and silently cursing himself. “I hurt you too much-”
“It’s-” you paused before you could finish saying the sentence.
It was not okay. You wouldn’t be telling him that it was okay to hurt you ever again.
Before you could say anything else, the angel groaned uncharacteristically and you watched as the shift happened, visible in the demeanour change, except-
Seonghwa took one look at you and almost lost his footing, struggling to stand as he clutched at the table. You reacted immediately, making him sit on a stool and asking him if he was alright, but he only held your hands with his own shaky ones and hid his face between them.
“Seonghwa?” Your voice came out in a small whisper- you had never seen him so weak. He wasn’t crying but he very well might have been with the way his body was trembling and he was breathing unsteadily.
“Talk to me, Seonghwa,” you urged, “What’s wrong?”
“I…” he sighed heavily, looking up at you with tired eyes, the rage obvious behind them. “I fought for consciousness the moment I heard you cry. Who hurt you?”
You.
“It’s the angel, isn’t it?” He examined your hands, trembling with the intensity of emotions that he was feeling- perhaps, a leftover product from the angel too. “He hurt you.”
“Seonghwa,” you sat down in front of him, on your knees. “I’m okay. It’s going to be okay-”
“It’s not,” he shook his head adamantly. “You have no idea how much I’m struggling to not let the angel swallow me whole- I’m scared to think of what would have happened if the angel lost all control just now.”
You silently shook at the thought and he caressed your hands before continuing.
“Sometimes, it feels like if he takes over my consciousness, I will get lost in the dark pits of my own subconscious forever. But now… I realise why I’m sometimes hesitant to regain consciousness too. Because-”
He looked at your marred hands, caressing the burn marks on them lightly. “Do you know what I’m afraid of, y/n?”
You shook your head. “You’re afraid of nothing, as far as I know.”
Seonghwa smiled tiredly. “You’re right. I am afraid of nothing- I was afraid of nothing. But now… I’m afraid of seeing these burn marks on your skin whenever I wake up. How could you let him hurt you like this? You were supposed to be my warrior.”
“And you were supposed to be my shield,” you smiled sadly. “When you’re not there… I get burned.”
Seonghwa looked down, unable to meet your eyes. “This is what I’m afraid of. Hurting you and watching you love the very thing that hurts you. I’ve never been afraid of anything in my life but now… I’m afraid of losing you like this, y/n.”
Seonghwa. The most notorious mafia lord with no such thing as a ‘heart’ was afraid of losing you. Afraid of hurting you and seeing you hurt. Was this not what pure love was supposed to be, as opposed to your angel Hwa’s, who had better things to worry about?
You once asked the angel what he was scared of- other than the obvious. He talked about punishment. He was afraid of doing the very deeds that he would be sent to give punishment for. He was afraid of divine intervention- it was something that was scary to witness even as the audience. He was afraid of the future, of this world and its corrupt nature.
And the angel was afraid of loving you only to lose you.
Was Seonghwa’s love for you not purer than the angel’s love, then? Seonghwa would go to hell and back for you. Seonghwa bowed down only in front of you- you, who were a part of him, a part of his soul, he would sometimes call you.
The angel would only bow in front of god.
“You won’t lose me,” you promised though the words were of no comfort to both of you. Overcome by his emotions and some hard truths about what his future looked like, he brought your hands closer with his own shaky ones and pressed a promising kiss on both your hands. When you shifted to hold his hands instead and tried to make him look at you, he shut his eyes.
He could not look at you. Not now.
“Seonghwa,” you called, lifting yourself up a little so you could be at eye level. “Won’t you look at me?”
He only lowered his head further and you embraced him, sighing in relief when he shifted so he could hug you back properly. You let him come to terms with whatever he was feeling- he wasn’t going to talk about it but at least you could help him through it. You caressed his head without a fear of getting hurt for once, and he mustered up the courage to kiss you on the cheek.
You froze momentarily- Seonghwa rarely ever kissed you anywhere except the top of your head (that was his form of silently apologising). He nudged your cheek with the tip of his nose, his warm breath caressing your skin and you moved back slightly, making the mistake of looking him in the eyes-
You had asked for it, though. And now that he was looking at you, so close, you forgot how to breathe.
His hand went around the back of your neck, craning it so that he could make space for himself. He joined your foreheads, taking a deep breath.
“I won’t let the angel ever hurt you again. That’s a promise, okay?” He whispered and you nodded, your noses brushing against each other. He shut his eyes, brows furrowed in concentration as he deliberately nudged the tip of his nose with yours, your lips almost brushing in the process but the ghost of his lips remained on yours.
You whispered his name- a call, a plea, and he almost gave in, reminded of the memories of kissing you that he had seen flashes of from the angel’s memory- oh, how he wanted to kiss those lips himself. He felt a sharp pain in the head slice at him, a reprimand from the angel, a warning. Seonghwa brushed his lips against yours once again just to piss the angel off before drawing back with immense effort, kissing your forehead instead.
Your figure sagged in disappointment, tired from the yearning. You rested your head in his lap and gave yourself a few moments to recollect your thoughts.
You would not question Seonghwa and his actions anymore. You knew exactly what was happening. You knew what you had to do now.
There is always a moment in your life when it feels like you’ve had an awakening- as if all this time, you had been wearing the wrong pair of prescription glasses, or not wearing anything to help your blurred vision. So when you finally fix the problem, or realise what the root of all your troubles is, you start to see the world with a sudden clarity. Everything seems sharper, you can see the fine lines that you would otherwise have missed, and it’s like you have a new perspective to the world, even.
At least, that’s how you feel as you perch your reading glasses up your nose bridge, craning your neck to the right and flipping through the pages of a dark arts history book, recalling that you had read something in it which seemed to be connected to the current theory you were working on-
The theory being that angels were, in fact, worse liars than demons. Demons had a habit of being overtly honest- the only problem was that they were tricksters and spun their words such that it would be hard to unravel the truth from. Angels, however, were outright liars in the sense that they would conceal the truth and mislead you by not telling you the complete truth.
At least, that’s who Hwa was.
You spent the first couple of days trying not to have a mental breakdown and asking both Hwa and Seonghwa to leave you alone while you figured out your feelings for them but more importantly- just how much the angel had misled you? Was there anything he said about the angelic essence and its experimentation that was the complete truth? So far, there had been no warning siren ringing to inform you of some divine punishment. The heavens had not fallen over your head. You were just fine, and you were pretty sure that your experimenting was enough of a marker for the other angels. Why was no divine being interfering then?
And just what was the truth about the angel not knowing how to leave this body? Was he not leaving on purpose, a selfish angel who simply wanted to experience what it was like to not be a warrior of god? Was he staying because of you? Did he really love you or was that just an excuse to stay back in this world and delay going back to his own?
Because he did love you- oh, how he loved you. His love threatened to consume you whole with the way he held you like you were fragile and would break under his touch, contrasting with the way his touch would sometimes burn you when he was overwhelmed. His kisses were overflowing with emotions, a pure exhibit of his desire while holding a dark, almost sinister undertone to them when he would grip you tightly as if forgetting you were human. His whispers contained promises in a foreign language that you did not need to interpret- his vows were clear in his eyes and his possessive hold.
His love also threatened to break you in the way that a trapped bird was scared of stepping outside its cage for the first time. It was Hwa who made you experience what being normal would have felt like, were you not bound to Seonghwa and his drug business. You experienced so many of your firsts with Hwa and it was him who showed you what a normal life could have been like- you did so much with him that you could have never done with Seonghwa. Seonghwa had only given you limited freedom and while you did not hate that, you always wished to spread your wings and fly.
Maybe you flew too close to the sun. Perhaps, that’s why you were burning both from outside and from within. Maybe you were meant to love the moon but the moon liked to hide behind the clouds so you chose the next best thing. You had to fill the void in your heart somehow, and who better to fill it than a literal divine being that wore the skin of the man you had loved your whole life?
You were the only selfish one here, but selfishness had always been your greatest weapon and you would be sure to make use of it when the time would come. For now, you were coming to terms with how Hwa and Seonghwa were also selfish for their own reasons- Hwa, because he did not want to face the consequences of his actions and Seonghwa because he simply wanted to be free and whole again. He would probably kill you once he was- it didn’t feel like a bluff anymore.
However, there was also another hard truth about all of this, and that was that Hwa would give you up in a second for ‘the greater good’ or whatever moral code he needed to satisfy in order to please God and his fellow angels and get back to his realm if caught. You wanted to tell him that as an angel, perhaps he had sinned too much and if he ever went back, they would probably clip his wings and turn him into a fallen angel. You wanted to claw at him and make him stay with you forever simply because you could.
And the only reason you weren’t making him stay was because Seonghwa was the one who would burn down all of this world- the heavens above and hell below- for you. It might be out of love or out of a desire to prove that you were ultimately his, a dangerous obsession, but you were his priority. And you couldn’t help but wonder what things would have been like if he had kissed you that night in the lab and finally faced his feelings for you- though a part of you wondered if his feelings for you were partly because of the angel rubbing off on him.
So it was no wonder that you were losing your mind trying to put the feelings aside and work on finding a solution to this cursed turn of events. Now that you had an objective perspective (still arguable), you were realising that the divine punishment the angel was so afraid of might only be reserved for the angel himself. Perhaps, the human would be spared from it until it was their time to die and face judgement by their creator. It made sense because there were absolutely no instances of an angel summoning ever recorded.
Demons liked to be summoned, which was why there were countless records of it. Angels were summoned by force, though. You surely were not the first person in this world who had summoned an angel but you might make a difference if you recorded this summoning. That made you wonder- was it the recording part that was the problem or were the humans involved really wiped out if they interacted with angels?
If the latter was the case, you would have faced judgement a while ago- when you summoned the angel. Surely, other angels must have heard the call too. They would have intervened when their comrade got stuck inside a human or fell in love with one. Maybe the angels only interfered to make sure no traces were left of an angel summoning- that way, Hwa’s admission of the angelic essence leaving a trace and serving as a marker would be verified.
Whatever it was, the matter was in your hands now. So far, you had a few ideas- that you could use the angelic essence to lure the angels and face judgement- whatever it was, however it would be delivered. Chances were that only Hwa would have to face the consequences and while it broke your heart, you were sure the angels would at least wipe your memories to ensure another incident like this does not happen again. If your memories were wiped, you would not remember Hwa. That was probably the most risky route you could pick considering the angels could just kill you and Seonghwa and move on. You did not want to die just yet- at least not for Hwa.
Another idea was to try and attempt a reverse summoning ritual, which was a very theoretical concept with no specific details and no attempts recorded. For that, you needed an anchor in the realm that the being concerned was from, and you had no such anchor. Again, you could not risk involving another angel.
If you were the only one who could put an end to this, your resources were very limited. All you had was your drugs and your lab and-
Your train of thoughts was interrupted by a soft knock on the door and the door opened to reveal Seonghwa- as soon as you met the man’s curious eyes, you knew it was Hwa instead.
“You’ve been holed up in here for hours now,” his concerned voice said. “Come on, let’s get some fresh air.”
“Ahh, but I think I was almost there,” you straightened your back and stretched your arms, producing cracks. “Or not. Nothing makes sense.”
“That’s okay,” Hwa smiled. “Maybe some fresh air and a meal will help. When you get too focused on something, it’s good to reel back and change your environment.”
“You’re right, actually,” you got up, shutting your devices but letting the books and notes stay as they were. “I’ll join you after I freshen up.”
“Great- wear a coat. We’ll go eat something outside.”
“Someone is in a good mood today,” you eyed the angel with suspicion but he only raised his hands in the air, pressing his lips in a tight line.
“You know I’m still making it up to you. After what I did- I still feel ashamed.”
You frowned at that- you knew the angel was making an effort to be better. He had apologised until you got sick of it and warned him not to. He resorted to giving you space when you wanted but also trying to make you feel better- asking you before he touched you in any way, making sure you ate your meals and weren’t pushing yourself too hard. He could finally understand why you wanted him and Seonghwa to be two separate entities and for once, he was cooperating.
Another change you had noticed was that Hwa was starting to sound a lot like Seonghwa- in his speech, and often in his mannerism. It was unnerving but you were holding yourself back from complaining, focusing all your energy on finding the answer to this.
But for now, you supposed you could take a breather. You slipped on a black overcoat over your sweats and joined Hwa in the garage, deciding to get some ramen from the convenience store. You fell in step with him, walking down the dark streets of your posh society, lit by the full moon and the streetlights, and talking about what you had learned so far- specifically about demons. He was always willing to verify your facts on that subject.
On the way back, when he offered you his hand, you smiled and took it and he proceeded to tuck your hands in his pocket, making you shake your head.
“Have you been watching dramas, Hwa?”
“I was bored,” he went as far as to pout. “Those dramas are interesting. I’m learning a lot.”
“No wonder. You’ve been speaking casually,” you pointed out and he frowned.
“Have I?”
“Yeah, you sound like Seonghwa when he’s in a good mood,” you joked and he scoffed.
“I shall go back to the formal tone then. Perhaps you like that more?”
“I don’t mind either way,” you grinned. “Your formal tone makes you sound a little pompous, if I’m honest.”
“Noted,” he nodded in all seriousness and you squeezed his hand as you chuckled. He glanced at you with curiosity to voice a question that had been on the tip of his tongue all along, “Did you find something worthwhile today?”
You glanced back at him, gauging his expressions. “Not really. It’s too risky if we get a third party involved, whether it's another angel or humans.”
You didn’t miss how his shoulders slightly relaxed as if he had been tense all this time. He looked up at the sky, taking a deep breath. “If you want me to help, all you have to do is ask.”
“I know,” you swallowed the bitterness his words left in your mouth and covered it with a grateful smile- the trust he had broken in admitting that he had, in fact, lied to you had still not mended. You weren’t going to show a hint of doubt because you were scared of what Hwa would do once he learned that you were willing to let him go- even if that meant letting him go forever.
So for good measure, you stood on your tiptoes to peck his cheek, trying not to break into a grin when he let out a flustered sound. He quickly recovered from it and took it as his cue to wrap his arms around your waist and bring you in for a kiss, sweet and sure.
That was the easiest way to assure the angel that you weren’t planning something devious. There was an itch in your brain and you wanted to talk to Seonghwa before you would ever dare to attempt it. However, before that, you had to make sure the angel felt loved and safe with you- only then would he allow you to have some privacy with Seonghwa.
So you were glad the angel was still holding some guilt in his heart that was preventing him from having a heated session with you. You would rub it in his face by appearing scared or hesitant, sometimes succumbing to your own desires but keeping it restrained nonetheless- just like tonight. You had observed how the angel was especially demanding whenever you were researching on how to get Seonghwa back to normal.
Even now, as soon as you were back in your room, he was bringing your body flush to his to kiss you deeply. You had to admit that Hwa still made your knees weak and made you give in instantly, especially the way he was taking special care to not let you burn anymore. It still happened sometimes, but not like that night in the lab when he had lost control.
And it was ironically the angel’s glowing eyes that led you to your answer, a wave of understanding washing over you as the dots started to connect in your head. You zoned out as the angel finished healing your burns, his eyes going back to normal as he caught your gaze and raised his brow in question to your surprised expressions.
“Everything good?” He asked, caressing your cheek.
“Perfect,” you smiled, hoping it didn’t look like a smirk. “Everything is perfect.”
The angel patted your cheek, checking the time. “I should let Seonghwa take over soon. If you need me, I’ll be here, okay?”
“Of course,” you assured him. “I’m just gonna wrap this up and get some sleep. I think the lack of sleep is not helping me find answers.”
“That’s what I’ve been saying all along,” Hwa laughed and you played along until he left the room. Finally realising what Archimedes must have felt when he had his own eureka moment, you rushed towards your notes- not the research material, not the history and dark arts books but your notes from the lab placed safely in a locker.
It could work. Dr. Choi had already unintentionally worked out the logistics of it and was writing a paper on it while he worked to make his research stronger. He was thinking of possible titles and had been rambling about how he wanted to include the phrase ‘angels vs demons’ in it. You were surprised it didn’t click earlier.
You needed to tell Seonghwa- if he was willing to try it, you would reach out to Dr. Choi and work with him.
You collected yourself and went to Seonghwa’s room, standing outside with your heart pounding uncharacteristically, about to knock when he opened the door, sucking in a breath when he found you right in front of him.
“I was going to come to your room,” he scanned your face, frowning at the sombreness in your eyes. “What’s wrong?”
“It’s you, right? Seonghwa?” You asked cautiously and Seonghwa nodded thrice- a code to let you know that the angel was nowhere near. He let you inside and you shut the door, facing him.
“I think I’ve found the answer,” you told him in a whisper. “But it’s risky, and I’m scared to try it.”
Seonghwa rubbed his face, tiredness evident in the way his shoulders seemed to be slouching. His hand settled on his neck over the tattoo that was visible from the black pyjamas. “Every method is risky. What do you feel about this?”
“I don’t know,” you admitted. “It could work. It’s scientific this time, I’ll tell you,” you shared a cryptic look and he understood. “No third party involved.”
“Has the time finally come?�� Seonghwa joked with a faint smile on his lips. “You always said you would love to make me a lab rat one day.”
Your lips quirked in amusement and you looked sideways. “Didn’t imagine it would be this serious. I imagined it to be a prank or something. Old me would be ecstatic to learn that I get to tie you to my stretcher.”
“How kinky,” he scoffed and you shot him a glare- this was serious for you and you knew he was trying to keep the mood light for you.
A moment of silence later, he asked, “What do I need to do?”
You leaned against the door, your hands tucked between your back and the door. Oh, how you wished you could hold him and tell him exactly what he needed to do. How you wished you could turn back time so you were back at the office insisting Seonghwa let you try angel summoning, only this time he tells you off. It was funny how meeting Hwa, the angel, was both something you never wanted to forget and something you wished you had never experienced.
It made your yearning for Seonghwa so much stronger. Perhaps, Seonghwa could feel it in the air- the words you refused to say, the actions you refused to make.
“Say something, y/n,” he furrowed his brows much like the angel yet so different, demanding. True to Seonghwa’s nature. “Don’t look at me like that.”
“Does it bother you when I look at you like that?” You asked.
There was a feeling in your gut, strange but so very familiar. Impending doom. A sign that you might never get a moment like this again. You always trust your gut, but actually listening to it was a different subject. No wonder you were here right now.
“Don’t avoid my question,” Seonghwa folded his arms but you shook your head, waiting for an answer anyway. Seonghwa took a deep breath, the small distance between your figures not helping with the lack of clarity in his head.
“Answer my question and I’ll answer yours,” you repeated a phrase you had often used on him, shooting a teasing smile in his direction before letting your eyes wander around the room- anywhere away from his eyes.
“Does it bother me when you look at me like that?” Seonghwa repeated your question, grabbing your attention. “Of course it does. You look at the angel like that-”
“I’ve only ever looked at you like that, Seonghwa,” you sighed heavily. “You were just too blind to notice until you watched me from someone else’s eyes.”
Seonghwa’s heart did break at your admission.
Having to cohabitate with another being- an angel, specifically, had made him realise quite a few things. In the beginning, it was along the lines of how he never wanted to be a ‘good’ person if the angel was the example of that. The angel was dark at its core, though it wasn’t the type of dark people used to describe humans. It was different- otherworldly and all-consuming. The angel was fighting his own demons, and Seonghwa was fine embracing his demons instead.
However, as time passed, his heart softened despite himself. It would be an excuse to say that the angel had rubbed off on him- his perspective had simply shifted because he saw you and the world from an almost omniscient point of view. While his values had not changed, he had learned the value of the people who cared for him- especially you, who always stuck with him even when he did his worst. He didn’t care if it was simply an obsession anymore- he had seen what obsession looked like through Hwa’s eyes.
Your feelings for him, and his for yours… it was something the angel could never have and Seonghwa was fucking glad about it. He may have let the angel stop him from confessing his love multiple times but if this was the last time he was going to hold you close… he would risk angering the angel.
“Answer my question,” Seonghwa asked, his voice uncharacteristically wavering. You smiled sadly.
“All you need to do, Seonghwa, is promise that you will try to fight and that you will win. That you will stay- for yourself, for the empire you have built… for the sacrifices you made and the people you lost on the way,” you paused, your gaze falling on his tattoo. “And for me. Because I’m your weapon and you are my shield, and I cannot navigate this world without your protection.”
“I thought you hated how protective I was,” Seonghwa’s lips started curling into a smile, his eyes twinkling with energy as he stepped closer. “I made you a warrior, y/n. If anything happens to me, I trust you to continue my legacy-”
“You made me a warrior, Seonghwa, but I’m tired of this battle,” you declared, an angry streak in your voice. “Nothing will happen to you. I- I will make sure of that. You just have to stay strong and fight.”
“Even if I’m afraid of the unknown?” Seonghwa inquired, placing his hands on your shoulders and caressing the bare skin of your neck.
“The Seonghwa I love isn’t afraid of the unknown,” you reminded him and he locked eyes with you. “He’s afraid of… what was it? Hurting me? Watching me love what hurts me-”
“Sweetheart,” Seonghwa warned, shaking his head but you laughed out loud, curling your hands around his wrists and holding his hands like he had held yours at the lab.
“Seeing burn marks on my hands?” You teased. “How sweet. Afraid of losing me- how romantic, Park Seonghwa.”
Seonghwa glared at you, clenching and unclenching his jaw. “Kind of regret saying that. If I had known you would hold that over me-”
“I’m holding that over you,” you gently interjected, “so you know that you won’t have to be afraid of anything when you come back.”
Seonghwa looked down at your linked hands, taking a few deep breaths and nodding slowly not only because you were right but also because he had learnt another lesson- that it was okay to love someone. Loving someone didn’t always result in losing them. After his friend Hongjoong’s death, he had grown so cold towards you, pushing you and his feelings for you away, tucking them in the deepest corner of his heart. He was lucky you never gave up on him and made him realise that loving someone wasn’t a weakness but a strength.
A reason for him to fight back against the angel. A real reason, not the materialistic ones- he could build an empire again if he had to, but he could not risk losing you.
“You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to me,” Seonghwa looked at you, watching your lips curl into a smirk. “You devil.”
“Yeah, well,” you took one step closer, looking up at him, daring him to say more. “You’re still here, so.”
Seonghwa stared at you challengingly, a smirk growing on his own lips as he crowded your personal space until your back was against the door. You didn’t shy away, the tension in the air so thick you could feel it caressing your skin along with Seonghwa’s fingers that danced against your collarbone, travelling up the slope of your neck to swipe at your parted lips, his gaze stuck right there.
“Don’t you ever get enough?” He finally asked what had been bothering him the most. How could you use him to satisfy yourself? Sure, maybe you liked the angel, but he would bet his life that it wasn’t the only reason.
“It isn’t you,” you simply answered. “It’s so different. I thought it’d be the same, but by then, it was too late, and now-”
Seonghwa put a finger on your lips to shush you- even though the angel was still dormant, he already knew what you were going to say.
And when you puckered your lips against his finger to kiss it, he wished the angel would die and never come back. He leaned in hurriedly, stopping right as your noses brushed, eliciting a gasp from your mouth.
“When are you doing it?” He asked, referring to your plan.
“Tonight,” you whispered in response, joining your foreheads and nudging his nose affectionately. “I can’t risk him finding out. Keep him at bay tonight, please.”
“If I don’t lose my mind,” Seonghwa whispered, brushing his lips against yours and tightening his grip around your waist. Craning your neck, he brought you in for the long overdue kiss, soft but strong, making your legs go weak and your arms go around his shoulders for support. He drew back to drink your expressions before diving right back in, this time unhurried but demanding, groaning with pleasure in between. When his tongue swiped your lips, you gladly opened your mouth for him, losing yourself in the overwhelming feelings of the love of your life finally caving in to you.
Not once did the angel cross your mind- not when Seonghwa kissed you softly, not when he held you like you would break, and certainly not when he let his desire fuel him as things heated up. You were soon shifted to the bed, Seonghwa promising you that he would make the most of tonight, apologising (for once) for not doing this earlier, holding on to your word when you assured him that you would somehow make this work and set him free.
You let his touch burn you in a way the angel’s had never- searing passion as opposed to a warning. You let your hands run through his hair without a worry, and let his hair tickle your bare skin as he shed the clothes off you. You let him obsess over you and lose control without the fear of getting hurt- yes, Seonghwa could hurt you in ways no one could but he would never hurt you like the angel had. Seonghwa let his desperation and emotions get the better of him tonight, feeling a sense of relief when he was finally one with you.
And only when you spotted the rays of the sun peak through the curtains, having spent all night in his arms, did you move away from his half asleep body to grab something. He peeked up and you smiled, snuggling into his body once again and sharing one last kiss, whispering confessions to each other. You hugged him after, letting your breathing synchronise with his and memorising the feeling.
And then you injected the tranquilliser into his neck, whispering sweet nothings and peppering kisses on his skin until he lost consciousness.
You had been with Seonghwa in the restricted section in the basement of your lab a few times.
Most of the time, he turned up there because he could not reach you- you had a habit of forgetting that time was an actual flowing thing and it did not stop still when you were in a certain headspace- which was experimenting with live subjects. He would watch you from the window, shaking his head at the monster he had created while his heart would simultaneously swell with pride. He would wait until you took a breather and knock on the window to get your attention.
A few times, you brought him to that section yourself, updating him on your progress. One thing you liked about Seonghwa was that he may not be the brains behind your drug production but he was fully involved in it, making note of whatever you needed and making sure you were safe here. He liked to be aware of whatever was going on as well.
However, never did you imagine that he would be your next test subject, tied to the stretcher and looking paler in the harsh white lights that lit up the room. He lay unconscious while you monitored his vitals and made sure the demonic essence being administered to him was not overpowering or harmful in any way other than expelling the angel.
You had a theory that the demonic essence could cancel every ‘impurity’ in the body to dominate as the only ‘impure’ or foreign object in the host. While working on this theory with Dr. Choi a few months ago, before you had ever summoned the angel, you had conducted an autopsy on your test subjects who had died because of the demonic drug. You noted that some of them who had underlying conditions and defects prior to overdose no longer had any defects in their body after death. It was as if the demonic drug had ‘healed’ them first before taking the spot for the sole cause of their death. A true parasitic drug, fighting for dominance to take over its host.
And if it were a demon against an angel… who would win?
You were hoping that the angel would be expelled from Seonghwa’s body, which would be the best outcome. You would quickly have to inject the angelic essence in Seonghwa’s body at that point to cancel the demonic essence- Dr. Choi and you had worked on it when you put Seonghwa in a comatose state, testing what amount of angelic essence was required to cancel out the demonic one.
In the worst case scenario though, one of them- or both- would die. According to Seonghwa, the angel was already eating away at his soul and it was a struggle for him to continue cohabitating in one body. The angel was powerful and stubborn. It wouldn’t give up so easily, so you would just have to pray that your plan would work and end well for all of you. This was your last and only resort.
Seonghwa’s body had started shaking a while ago, presumably when the battle between the angel and the demon began. You were constantly wiping sweat from his body and adjusting the drip, sometimes giving in and squeezing his hand as if to assure both Seonghwa and Hwa that you were here and that you were sorry for doing this to them. As more time passed, his body started to tremble fiercely and you tightened the clasps on his wrists and arms, not sure if they would be able to withhold.
With the damned book that brought the angel to your world resting against Seonghwa’s chest and the holy sword in one hand- tip soaked in wine but not ablaze- you started reading the section of the scripture that contained the angel’s name, Seonghwa’s eyes fluttering open when you repeated it for the third time.
“Hwa?” You asked cautiously, glancing at Dr. Choi who stood near you with the angelic essence vial in one hand and a lighter in the other. You squeezed his limp hand, making him look at you.
“Why did you call me?” He asked, tone as sombre as the first day he saw you. “What are you doing- what is happening?”
“You have to leave this body, angel,” you wiped the tear that rolled down his face. “Go back to your realm for now- just leave-”
You paused when he squeezed his eyes shut, your words eliciting a deep, pained groan out of his mouth. Dr. Choi recognised your signal and set the tip of the sword on fire and the two of you held its hilt, hoping the angel would not possess one of you if it exited the body. You checked the monitor- Seonghwa’s vitals were starting to drop which meant the demonic essence must be working with full force on his body now.
You took the angelic essence vial from the doctor and clutched it in your fist, moving to whisper in Seonghwa’s ear, calling Seonghwa’s name and reminding him of his promise- you have to come back. You have to fight back- you are my shield and I am your weapon, and I am fighting for you. I cannot navigate this world without your protection.
You did not know if it was Seonghwa or Hwa who turned his face so his lips met your cheeks, a confession and a promise tumbling from his mouth. You looked up to meet his eyes but he shut them and fell still.
Muttering a prayer to any deity who was listening, you poured the contents of the vial in Seonghwa’s mouth, Dr. Choi’s hand on your shoulder squeezing it reassuringly. The sound of your sniffles and the crackling of fire was the only sound in the room for a few minutes before Seonghwa sucked in a sharp breath and his eyes opened- unglowing.
“Seonghwa,” you breathed, holding your breath as you handed the sword to Dr. Choi and moved to cup his face, checking the vitals on the monitor before turning your full attention to him. He was already looking at you with a dazed look and you locked eyes with him, waiting for his touch to burn you as you caressed his hair, but nothing happened.
You were okay.
“Seonghwa?” You asked cautiously again. “It’s you, right? Tell me it’s you, please.”
Seonghwa gulped, his mouth awfully dry but he managed to move his head in a nod and the wave of exhaustion finally caught up to you, making your legs go weak as you slumped against his body, resting your head on his chest to catch your breath. Dr. Choi moved around and did the work, untying Seonghwa’s limbs and making sure he was responsive, taking some bloodwork and checking to see if there was anything amiss.
“There are still remainders of both the demonic essence and angelic essence in his body,” he said as he observed the blood. “But I think we’ve done what we could have. It will take a while for him to recover so we can continue to monitor him-”
“I’m fine,” Seonghwa insisted and you stifled a grin, looking up at him. “I’m done being the lab rat.”
Dr. Choi smiled. “Welcome back, Sir.”
Seonghwa shot a glare in his direction as he shifted into a sitting position, ignoring his chuckles and looking at you.
“What did you do?”
“Tried to expel the angel out of your body,” you linked your hands and he squeezed them. “It’s… happened, right? Can you feel him anywhere?”
“Not really,” he scratched the back of his neck, thinking. “This could have gone wrong.”
“Obviously. It could have gone very wrong,” you shuddered at the thought. “But I had to take a chance. Hwa was taking over your consciousness with each passing day, and as much as I loved the angel, I couldn’t let him do that to you.”
Seonghwa regarded your expressions, nodding. “And what if the angel ended up taking over?”
You pursed your lips and shrugged. “I think he would have probably killed me for hiding everything from him. I was prepared for that too-” you looked at your side where the sword now stood in the bucket, the fire doused.
“Anyways, the important thing is that you’re back, Seonghwa,” you smiled wholeheartedly. “Let’s get you out of here.”
Seonghwa smiled back though it didn’t quite meet his eyes. He kissed the back of your hand before letting you go, watching your body move with a newfound energy as you wrapped up everything in the lab, asking Dr. Choi to get some rest as well.
Once back at home, having washed up and eaten a hearty meal, you took Seonghwa to his room and held his hands, locking eyes with him.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” You asked, scanning his face.
“Just tired, and you know how there’s still the after effects,” Seonghwa muttered, sighing. “I’ll be fine.”
“If you’re angry at me, now is the time to take it out,” you teased. “Though you knew very well what you were getting into.”
“I’m not,” he scoffed, amused. “Well, I am but not because of this,” he corrected. “But I think I’ve learned to let the anger go now. There’s a reason for everything that happens, and for the decisions we make.”
You narrowed your eyes. “Looks like Hwa’s still inside you.”
“What?”
“There’s no way you said that,” you teased, “You don’t compromise to understand other people- you do what you want.”
“Yeah, well,” Seonghwa shrugged. “The angel must have rubbed off on me.”
You smiled and Seonghwa noted the weariness in your eyes. “Will you… miss the angel?”
“I will… of course I will,” you admitted, looking sideways. “I just hope he’s okay. Can you tell what happened to him? Did he get out or… did he get hurt?”
“He got hurt,” Seonghwa confirmed and you pressed your lips, taking a deep breath to keep the tears at bay. “I don’t think he made it, y/n. I can’t tell for sure right now, but it’s not looking good.”
You nodded, squeezing his hands and he moved to embrace you. There were no tears left to cry. You simply clutched onto him and let him calm you down. He let go with a kiss to your forehead.
“Everything will be okay,” he promised and you nodded.
Everything was going to be okay.
“Love, can you hand me the cinnamon powder?” Seonghwa asked, far too focused on the plating of his latest creation even though you were going to devour it in seconds. You told him exactly that as he sprinkled some on the pancakes, making sure the strawberries were set before drizzling chocolate over them.
“Perfect,” his eyes twinkled with the sort of gleam you used to see only when he was about to take someone’s life.
How the tables had turned.
“It’s just breakfast, Seonghwa, it doesn’t have to be that serious-”
“Shh,” he waved a hand in dismissal. “We need a good meal to be in good spirits. And then we can go and shed some blood- Assemblyman Hwang should not have used street gangs to try to expose our network.”
You shook your head, agreeing, but still amused as you watched him pour the freshly blended fruit juice into your glasses.
“Now eat,” he ordered and you bowed mockingly with a ‘yessir’ before you dived in.
The angel had definitely rubbed off on Seonghwa, because there was no other explanation to this. Soon after Seonghwa recovered, he was back to business, making new deals and expanding his network further as if he had some newfound energy- or perhaps, he was making up for the lost time. Whatever it was, you wouldn’t be complaining- you were simply glad that he was back.
Though he was a bit different. Gentler, yet still very Seonghwa with his demanding personality. He also picked up cooking, reminding you of your teenage days when he used to make whatever he could with whatever you had at disposal. He was always creative with his meals, but now, his creative freedom was almost surprising.
Park Seonghwa was back, but a changed man. Still insanely evil at the very core, still driven by his blood thirst and hunger for power. Maybe he had changed only where it concerned you- more welcoming towards you, more understanding of your actions, and so, so loving. His love was as gentle as the angel at times, and as fierce as Seonghwa’s devotion. Sometimes, you were reminded of Hwa- it was a given when they had worn the same skin.
But your Seonghwa was still very human. And that was all that mattered. His love did not burn you and he did not fear anyone.
You finished your meals and went to get ready to go out with him- he was letting you accompany him to his ‘little outings’ more and though he wasn’t getting his hands dirty most of the time, the lackeys doing that for him, he still liked going out in the field himself every once in a while. Today was one of those days and you went to your own room to arm yourself.
Seonghwa got ready first, waiting for you in the lobby, staring at the holy sword that was now a showpiece, perched on one of the walls. He felt almost compelled to trace the hilt of the sword, daring to touch the blade that was capable of harming angels, and with a little shriek he drew his hand back, the tips of his fingers an angry red, burned by the sword.
Seonghwa cursed under his breath, moving to the kitchen for some privacy before muttering the prayer he had said for aeons now, allowing his fingertips to heal. He caught his reflection on the glossy material of the fridge, his pupils glowing and he shut them, taking a few deep breaths to get his powers under control.
He heard the faint thumps of your footsteps as you came downstairs and he fixed his posture and his expressions to mimic Seonghwa before he stepped out of the kitchen, nodding in approval when you showed him your weapons before following you outside.
He let you call you by the name of the human that he was not, and he willingly played along, letting you think that your beloved human had defeated the angel when that was not the case at all. Your beloved human was gone.
Good and evil must coexist in order to survive. But sometimes, the good becomes the evil and the evil becomes the good- they were never meant to balance each other.
It was only a matter of which one would weigh more and tip the scale in its favour.
#loren's fic recs#ateez fic#ateez x reader#seonghwa x reader#seonghwa angst#seonghwa fluff#yumi <33#MOOT MOOT
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@hellpride xxx
For all the annoyance from the avoidable (at least in his opinion) situation at hand, at least he has an itty bitty (annoyingly apple ended) spoon to aggressively stir his coffee with, and he does just that the longer the clown he's become the unfortunately captive audience to continues to talk down to him like he's some child from the audacious height of 4'nothing, minus the change. He of course had never been a child in his fucking life, so the platitudes in devil-dancing around a quite straight forward question gives him pause to snap his teeth in a testy manner at the slow burn of patience he never asked for. Perhaps that was why heaven posted him into such a pious position known for such ballroom shenanigans. Because he wasn't opposed to just dicking his way to a point, plain and simple. Not exactly the best methodology for someone like the corruptor of humanity when it came to agreeing to shit deals, but he's known him and of his schemes for long enough it simply is second nature to him at this point to squint at the curl of every beck and call.
"Oh, so it's my fault things are same old same old? Try- I dunno, changing your fucking hat every other century??" A dismissive snort rattles the teacup on its plate, and though he'd rather not hear him out- he's kind of stuck in this viper pit until dawn when there's enough light from heaven to see his way out. Or blindly claw towards a source of warmth like newborn rabbits separated from mother's flank in a cave in- he hadn't decided yet.
"Get real for once, dude. Wait, what do you think you're-" The plate might crack with the force his talons tense around it at the sudden appearance of all his hastily scribbled deals handed down from heaven, all evaporating from the signature line out from his name until only it was left in golden lettering to crinkle and then fall aimlessly to the tiles atop a bed of ash. He rakes a claw after one too late to salvage the scroll, an incredulous look snapping along with his gaze to where the bastard perched, a scowl holding back a brewing belligerence unbecoming of an ambassador. "-doing!? We're not even on business hours! You inconsiderate shitpocket. Do you know how long those are going to take me to forge back? Unbelievable!" With how much he's spun and stomped around in place, it's actually a miracle he hasn't spilled his coffee yet.
"Oh, YOU'D like to take something away from this? I'd take your fucking head 'away from this' if it wasn't that bitch Michael's gig-" He doesn't hear much more amidst his tantrum, but there's only so much he can storm over it when there's suddenly a bola of serpent snapping his legs together.
He lurches forward with the thwarted attempt to keep momentum behind his pace, nearly losing the cup and plate along the way before a swat of the arm and a thrash of the opposite wing rights him again amidst a swell of squawks. A shudder from the feel of scales slinking under the slope of his sleeves tempts him to bat at his robes even after the other has appeared in front of him again, leaving behind the ghost tingles of a spider's web across the raised hairs of one's forearm. Instead, he squints at the sudden fascination with his cup, and though he's yet to sip the brimstone brewed beverage, he gives it a protective tug away from the other's fussing only to find the A over his gut the next target of prodding. Urgh-
Still holding the cup and plate combo over the devil's head, he furrows his brow at the musings of a mad man- because what else could he be to burn all those deals like that? Well, maybe not a 'man', but still capable of sticking it to one. "Yeah, that's real rich coming from you. Do you even hear yourself? Because I'm pretty sure the whole letting myself go shit (fuck you by the way) is indicative of change capacity. Something you seem to think humans aren't capable of under certain management. And- might I add, wouldn't have had the capacity at all if you hadn't fucked around and found out. So whatever THIS is-" Talons fan to indicate himself...and issue a swat to the hand palming his stomach. "that you find so grotesque is actually your doing, not heaven's. I don't sync up with them for a reason, asshole. So maybe- you should really consider what it is you're asking for BEFORE you burn all my papers!"
Any answers the other might find on the ground lie scattered in golden letters of unsinged 'A's' like the one on his chest and the subtle pattern singed ever so slightly in his corneas that nobody will see behind the mask. It's his turn to break the ensuing pause with a puncturing sip- coffee slurped through the portal in his mask, ever the ingenuity dedicated to hiding what lay beneath in shades of pale vulnerability learned by a single bite. He swishes it around his mouth, considering the proposition as if the unfolding pitch were ultimately responsible for flavoring the mouthful. It's not beneath him to spit it in the other's face, but they're off the clock and all his peace treaties are currently dust. War in the morning would be hella annoying. 'I want you' isn't exactly the best time to swallow, and that much is clear when the mouthful catches in his throat like creation's final attempt at putting a lump like a drain clog in his neck to catch any pesky knowledge chunks that he might unknowingly inhale.
Sputtering, he tips his head away- the plate balanced precariously on an open palm while a fist knocked at his chest a few times to send the sugar sluice down the right pipeline. A cautious if not exasperated look finds its way back to his practically ahum host. "Please. If they can't handle my best- what makes you think you can?" A flare of wings to fix his stumbled assurance, the eye of the A over his chest flashes with the snap of fingers, steadily opening a window to the piece of sun nestled at his core as if only the red earth and it's son made use of its rays. Upon closer inspection and a wider opening, the shine pulsed with waves of energy that rattled every window in the vicinity. If there was music to be heard as was the case with most angelic souls, it was muffled beyond comprehensive without the aid of his strings to channel it into the roughest translation.
#//lmao hes so animated fr#hellpride#verse ; // a touch of darkness#//bc we're going for the full persephone aesthetic here-#long post
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My You-niverse: Laurent LeClaire
Fandom: Oscar Isaac
Pairing: Laurent LeClaire x F!Reader
Summary: You and America get stuck portal jumping until you reach your universe again. In the meantime, you meet various versions of your husband.
Series Masterlist
The man, face similar to your husband's, thick, brown wavy locks, looks at you with concerned brown eyes.
You look down to see yourself now downing some...really old looking clothing. 19th century, perhaps? Since when did America's powers now come with a wardrobe change?
"Mademoiselle, are you alright?" he lends out a hand towards you.
You reach for his hand and wince. You look down to see a dark red stain on your sleeve.
America rushed to your side, also wearing a 19th century dress. She presses a hand to your arm and you wince. She then looks up at your husband's doppleganger, "She needs help!"
The man immediately rushes to help you stand, an arm wrapping around you to hold you up, "We must move, quickly."
You nod, trying to keep up with his hurried pace, "What are your names?"
"America," your young friend answers, "and this is Y/N."
"A beautiful name for a beautiful woman."
You can't help but scoff, "Are you this charming to every woman?"
"Only the ones that come falling out of nowhere from a strange light," he peers at you with a smirk.
America hurries her pace, "Yeah, we'd appreciate it if you actually don't tell anyone about that?"
"Are you witches of some sort? Devil worshippers?" he gives a scrutinizing gaze to America.
You grunt an answer, "No. We don't know what happened. One moment, some men were chasing us, the next we're here. We're just as confused as you are." you give a look to America, letting her know that that's the story you two are going with.
She nods, "That's right."
The man appears a bit unconvinced, but says, "Alright."
"You know our names, what's yours?" you ask and the man leads you to a village.
"Laurent. Laurent LeClaire."
"And what do you do Laurent?"
"I'm a painter." You can't help but scoff at his answer and he cocks a brow at you, "Something amusing?"
You shake your head, "You just remind me of someone."
"Your husband?" Laurent asks. You open your mouth to question him but he gestures to your hand, "Your wedding ring."
You don't say anything else. The three of you remain in silence until you're led into a small hospital. They allow America to go with you, but Laurent stays behind.
"Thank you for your help, Laurent."
He gives a silent nod to you and then America before you're ushered back to get your arm looked at.
______________
After a nurse cleans and wraps up your arm, you're left alone with America.
She's awkwardly rocking in the bed beside yours, "Soooo...do you think we're just going to keep running into Marc's dopplegangers?"
You snort, "I'm not the one with portal powers. Also, since when did your powers come with wardrobe changes?"
The young Avenger held up her hands, "Hey, I'm just as surprised as you are. That's never happened before." then she gasped, "Do you think I'll eventually be able do those badass costume like Thor?!"
You snort, "Guess you'll have to keep training and see."
The doctor, an old man, approached you two, "Alright, mademoiselle," he says looking at you, "as long as you keep your wound clean and change the bandages every few hours, you should be well on your way to complete health."
"Thank you, doctor," you say to the old man, standing and giving him a grateful smile. You then nod to America to follow you and you two are exiting the building.
"Y/N!" you hear a call of your name and see Laurent walking towards you.
You look at him with surprise, "Laurent! You're still here?"
He softly smiles and you see the look your husband would give you when it was just the two of you, "Yes, I just wanted to make sure everything went well."
"She'll recover," America intrudes, "She's strong so.."
"That's good to hear." he responds. The two of you continue to look at each other, leaving your young companion feeling a bit awkward.
"Sooooo I think we should go now, Y/N."
You take a step back from Laurent, "Of course. We need to find our way back home." You go to turn, but a hand catches your arm.
"It's getting dark," Laurent says, pointing to the sky, "Two ladies such as yourselves shouldn't be wandering. Who knows, you might run into the men who attacked you again. You need rest."
You shake your head, "We don't-"
"You can stay the night at my home." Laurent offers a solution with a smile, "I don't know what I'd do if something happened to you two. The inns are dodgy and can be unsafe."
"I suppose we can rest for the night...?" you reply with also a questioning gaze to America. She gives you a look as if what you're saying is the most ridiculous thing in the world. The look you give back to her silently asks, 'What choice do we have?'. She sighs and then you look back to Laurent with a smile, "We'll take you up on that offer, Laurent, thank you."
"Wonderful," he holds out his arms to you and America, "Shall we?"
He leads you to his small home a short distance away from the main streets of the village.
At his home, Laurent treats you and America to a small meal. Nothing fancy, but just something to fill your bellies enough to be satisfied. He then led you and America to his bedroom where you two will be sharing a bed.
You look at him with concern, "Where will you sleep?"
"Don't worry about me. I will make do."
"Laurent-"
"Sssshhh," he presses a finger to your lips and your breathing stills. He's close. His skin touching yours. Your body suddenly feels on fire. You see your husband, your Marc. You see his eyes, the intensity and playfulness, the mischief, the...slimmer of darkness.
With a gulp, he steps back and nods to America and then you, "Goodnight, ladies." He promptly leaves the room and you don't take a breath until the door shuts.
America plops onto the mattress, "Not gonna lie, that was a little uncomfortable to watch."
You roll your eyes, "Let's just go to bed."
Eventually, you and America are laying beside each other. America is out like a light, but you...you're still awake. Your thoughts mull over the recent events. Marc, the whole Blue Jones thing, and now Laurent. You knew, from what America's told you, that various universes exist. This means there are different versions of you, America, and Marc.
As you and America try to get back home, would you be encountering a different version of Marc every time?
These thoughts plague you, the endless possibilities, the desire to see your husband, hoping to get back home soon.
You've become restless. You're tossing and turning in the bed that smells like Marc's doppleganger. His face, the way he looked at you, plagues your mind.
Eventually, you're out of bed and stepping out of the room with a sheet wrapped around you.
You make your way to the living room where you see Laurent is still up. He's standing by the fire, painting on an easel.
He looks up and sees you, "You're still awake."
"So are you," you point out, holding the sheet tight against you for warmth.
"What ails you?" he asks as he continues to paint.
"It's been a very eventful day and I can't seem to ease my mind."
"We share the same ailments I see." he's concentrated on his task at hand. So much so that his brows are furrowed and you're reminded of Marc again. You sigh and begin to fiddle with your ring.
"Tell me about him," Laurent speaks again. When you look up, he clarifies, "Your husband. Tell me about him."
You set yourself on a cushion beside the fireplace. You stare at the dancing orange and yellow hues, "His name is Marc. He's...stubborn, a little selfish, but also brave and caring. He's brash, but also gentle. He's funny and annoying. When he upsets me, he always goes out and comes home with my favorite flowers and sweets. He's the love of my life." You then turn to look up at Laurent, "Do you have someone?"
He shakes his head, "No. Many say I'm married to my paintbrush though. I spend so much time with it."
You smile up at him, "I'm sure you'll find that person you're meant to be with."
He hums in response and you don't necessarily know if it's in agreement or not.
You move off the cushion you were sitting on, now using it to rest your head on as you lay on your side. You continue watching the fireplace until your eyes flutter close.
...
"Wake up, sweetheart."
You groan and your eyes open. Your vision still blurry but you see a figure standing over you.
"Wake up, honey, come on."
"Marc?" you rasp out and rub the sleep away from your eyes.
As your vision clears, you see another version of Marc standing there. However, he's bald and is donning glasses and a thick beard.
He cocks a brow at you, "Who the fuck is Marc?"
You sit up and realize you're sitting at a desk. A paper sticks to your cheek and you pull it away. You skim through it and see "Nathan Bateman" and "Blue Book".
"Nathan-"
"Listen, sweetheart, I don't pay you to sleep all day. You were supposed to transcribe these for me and because you fell asleep, it's setting me back by a day. Wake the fuck up."
You watch as Nathan waltzes out of the room and you're left shocked and jaw to the floor. This universe's version of your husband is a fucking dick!
#marc spector x reader#nathan bateman x reader#marvel au#ex machina#nathan bateman imagine#oscar isaac#oscar isaac x reader#f!reader#female!reader#fem!reader
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beomgyu as ur bf ! (random headcanons)
pairing: beomgyu x gn!reader
genre: fluff, comedy
warnings: none other than poorly written fluff, intended lower case and maybe some spelling errors :D
a/n: YET AGAIN I WENT WITH THE FLOW SO SORRY IF IT'S KINDA BAD- keep in mind that english isnt my first language thank you <3
another one of my ults nfakjnglkejngr
you're dating a clown-
honestly, how do u even survive because he's actually so annoying
but he loves you though, i promise <3
an actual brat.
teases you a LOT !!! but never in a mean way.
if you trip over your own feet and fall, he's probably going to laugh at you, offering his hand to help you up but then quickly pulling it back to mess with you!
or if you accidentally drop your phone, spill some water on yourself, etc. he's going to tease you,
"y/n, what are you? a 3 year old?? you can't even walk without tripping, HAH, DUMMY!!!!"
loves to push your buttons to get different reactions out of you :D
he's quite empathetic though, so it's never his intention to hurt your feelings by poking fun at you.
if he notices that his teasing is making you uncomfortable or insecure he will not hesitate to stop,
making you feel loved and appreciated is his number one priority <3
he's determined to make you laugh, because when he hears you giggle... phew he's on cloud 9,
knowing the fact that he's the reason you're grinning from ear to ear is just such an ego boost :(
he will do anything to make you smile and i mean anything...
even if it results in him looking like a fool 😞
you two go grocery shopping together <3
honestly, he sometimes embarrasses you to the point where you regret bringing him with you in the first place 😐
like you've literally just entered the store and he's already whining, asking if you're done yet so you can finally go home and cuddle at once !! :/
it's usually just you doing all the shopping while he follows you around,
he's just there to assist you when you can't reach the high shelves‼️
the store you go to is pretty small and very close to your neighborhood, so you're basically familiar with everyone who visits it.
there's this one sweet lady with a kid around the age of 10, and beomgyu swears that "the child is a devil!!"
he has already made enemies... with a 10 year old-
you had to apologize to his mom multiple times because your 20 year old boyfriend couldn't stop bickering with her son.
he also helps you do your chores !!
he's very playful, hence anything can be fun if beomgyu's around :D even boring things like washing the dishes or cleaning your room (no offense to whoever likes it)
he turns everything into a game, a competition to be more precise...
"whoever finishes washing the dishes last has to buy the winner their favorite snack 😋😋"
even if he wins, he still ends up buying you the food of your choice, not letting you spend a single penny on him!!
he competes with you just to rile you up, making bets such as the one mentioned above to keep you determined, not because he actually wants you to do anything for him.
except giving him your undying love and affection of course :D
he's literally so clingy
you usually visit him at the dorms when he's not busy
the second he hears you knock on the door he's quite literally sprinting towards you
you can hear the members complain that he almost pushed them over
once your boyfriend opens the door, he engulfs you in a tight, bear hug™, picking you up and spinning you around, making sure he crushed every single bone in your body <3
the others just watch you get the air knocked out of your lungs in amusement.
speaking of the members, beomgyu always dreamed of you getting along with his best friends,
but once his dream came true he kinda wished it never did </3
you get along a little too well for his liking :/
how come you just laughed at one of yeonjun's jokes right in front of your toddler boyfriend?!?!??!
unacceptable!!
the entire night he either tries to crack as many jokes as possible to "redeem himself", glaring at an oblivious (and also mildly concerned) yeonjun from time to time
or he starts being poutier and clingier than usual, asking for a kiss every 5 minutes or straight up just dragging you to his bedroom and not letting you go until you cuddle for at least an hour
but in all honesty, he's so relieved that you and the boys are bonding !!
you having a good relationship with his friends is very important to him <3
he's not jealous at all because he knows that you love him and him only :)
he babies you to no end !! (even if you're older than him)
you do something as simple as drink water and he just coos at you
"AWW !!! you look so cute when you drink water like that :("
your number one fan!!!!!
hypes you up and brags about you to everyone <3
if you're wearing a new outfit he will notice right away and just stare at you in awe the second he sees you, won't forget to comment on how gorgeous/handsome you look ;)
also likes it when u compliment him back, it really means a lot <3
please keep feeding his ego he loves it when you notice small details, it makes his heart flutter
you two nap together a lot
if you're not the one for naps you just lay there, next to him, his arms wrapped around your frame tightly as he nuzzled his face in the crook of your neck, sleeping peacefully.
he looks so peaceful and cute when he's not annoying the hell out of you <333
you sometimes snap pictures of his sleeping state and then set it as your wallpaper/lockscreen :D
once gyu found out about your little antics he got extremely cocky
if you ever changed your lock screen to anything but him, he'd get all whiney, begging for you to change it back
also snaps a few pics of you sleeping/just existing peacefully and puts it as his so you two can have "matching wallpapers" <33
he also lends you his jacket if you're ever feeling cold
lives for how cute you look basically buried in his jacket, sighing in content as you're finally warming up a little
if you get tired from walking he's going to give you a piggyback ride <333
laughs and giggles as he lifts you up from the ground, your chest flushed against his back as he carries you to your destination :)
if you did something that upset him and he's scolding you he's just gonna:
"y/n, you're such a dummy!" *holds your hand* "that was very careless of you," *kisses your forehead* "i want you to know that i am very angry at you." *cuddles you aggressively*
while most of your dates are at home,
amusement park dates are very common as well :D
you go on various roller coasters, circular rides, take a few breaks in between and get ice cream or cotton candy
but your favorite ride by far are the bumper cars!
you just race, crash into each other at full speed or get into the same car and absolutely destroy your competition !! (the competition in question are just a bunch of 7 year old kids trying to have fun)
he seranades you :(
learns a bunch of love songs that remind him of you on guitar and sings them to you whenever you're able to hang out <3
he has a playlist full of love songs dedicated to you
offers to give you some free guitar lessons, if you ever want to learn how to play yourself :)
you both also have a collaborative playlist on spotify, along with playlists for each other you update regularly <33
when he's sleepy he's so soft with you :(
he's looking at you with hooded eyes full of love and adoration, you can tell that he's trying his best to stay awake for a little longer, but his eyelids are getting heavier by the second, his voice lower than before
"hey, y/n... you know i love you right? i love you so much that my heart aches whenever i look at you..."
pulls you in closer, if that's even possible, and holds you gently as if you were going to break if he wasn't careful enough,
probably leaves feather kisses all over your collarbone before whispering a one last "i love you" for the night and falls asleep.
yeah... thoughts are being thunk right now y'all-
he really loves you to the moon and back :(
overall your relationship is very chaotic and just.. weird in general.
good luck dealing w/his bs <3
#beomgyu#choi beomgyu#beomgyu x reader#choi beomgyu x reader#choi beomgyu imagines#beomgyu imagines#choi beomgyu x gn!reader#beomgyu x gn!reader#txt#tomorrow by together#tomorrow x together#txt fluff#txt reactions#txt headcanons#tomorrow by together fluff#tomorrow by together reactions#tomorrow by together headcanons#beomgyu headcanons#beomgyu as your boyfriend#choi beomgyu headcanons#choi beomgyu as your boyfriend#beomgyu x reader fluff#choi beomgyu x reader fluff#txt imagines
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Part one. Master list for plus one can be found here.
Just a nice fic I decided to write for fun. Please enjoy!
Asshole!
He was nothing but a huge, giant fucking ASSHOLE for the entire two years the two of you were dating and he decides NOW is a good time to break up with you?
Two days before your cousin's wedding and over TEXT MESSAGE?!
That fucking asshole.
He knew how you felt. Exactly how you felt about going alone to your cousin's wedding after your family begged to meet your boyfriend and teased you for "probably making him up." Which hell, he may as well have been made up considering how absent he was in the relationship. Using work as an excuse to come home late but forgetting to turn off his snap location when he showed up at the bar.
So you did what any rational woman in her upper twenties would do.
You drowned your sorrows in booze, tonight red wine as it was the only thing around, and you scrolled through your socials in hopes of distracting yourself from your suffering.
Alas the devil that is Instagram only amplified your sadness and irritation. Showing couple after couple, your friends on hikes kissing on the mountain top, kissing in the flickering light of candles at a fancy dinner or, worst yet, getting proposed to. The video showing her in hysterics screaming, "YES I DO I DO!"
And it feels terrible to feel this way. Especially about your friends, the people you love and want to support, still it stings. You hadn't told anyone about the breakup, you weren't even sure your friends even remembered that asshole's name.
A teardrop lands on your screen, magnifying all the magical lights of the led beneath the glad. You wipe away the tear and with that the feed refreshes. A new post has come in at the top, Res Riot's official account.
Kirishima stands with a fat white cat in his arms. He dwarfs the animal with his large stature that looks larger as he still has his Red Riot gear on. The caption reads something along the lines of "missed my precious baby."
Red wine is a dangerous thing as your body acts on its own. You go to his page to hit the little arrow to DM him. Typing out and backspacing your message as you struggle from the booze, you decide to say fuck it and use the voice memo feature. Before you know it your sniffling voice is playing back to you after you've hit send.
"My ex broke up with me before this stupid wedding. It's in two days and my family is going to roast me big time when I show up alone. They think I made that asshole up. I don't know why I'm even in your dms. Your account is probably run by some dick head who can't even capture your kindness. I guess I'm here cause my first thought seeing you on my timeline was Red Riot has always been my hero…"
Ugh totally fucking cringe.
There is no surprise as you see the three normally ominous dots pop up, probably his social media manager about to ask you to stop your "advances" as Kirishima is too busy to date and he'd hate to block you or some other bullshit.
But there it is a surprise to see a little bubble with the play button and some vertical lines in various heights. It takes your sluggish brain a moment to realize you've been sent a voice memo. Odd. Your thumb smashes the screen faster than you can think and a deep voice rumbles through the speakers of your phone.
"Actually I run my official and personal socials. And I'm sorry to hear about your ex doll. He sounds like a real ass. I'll be your hero, I'll go with you to the wedding."
Your heart stutters, no way, no way in HELL this was Red Riot. You had read about the horror stories before or pervy account managers taking advantage of women who so desperately wanted to talk to their hero.
Hell, it's happened to Dynamight plenty of times.
You swallow quickly but the bile rushes up your throat. Not just from the anxiety of a possible con but from drinking an entire bottle of wine with nothing on your stomach after months of sobriety. Quickly you stumble to the bathroom, abandoning your phone on your bed. You barely make it in time to praise the porcelain Gods before you fall onto your back. Looking up at the light in your cramped bathroom, the orb doubles and spins as you feel the Earth turning on its axis. You curl into your side using your bathmat as a pillow as you drift off into sleep, totally forgetting about the voice memo on your phone.
As you sleep peacefully on your memory foam bath rug, Kirishima settles into his nightly routine. One giant hand grabbing strands of long dark red hair into a towel while another sits snugly around his Adonis belt and the thick, black happy trail that follows up the center of his abs before spreading out onto his chest. He tosses the towel over the open door of the bathroom before sitting in his favorite armchair with phone in hand. Diamond, his beautiful white cat he rescued a few years ago, jumps onto the arm of the chair, purring loudly when Kirishima's free hand scratches her ears absentmindedly.
He chuckles to himself as he realizes exactly what he's done. Acting on a feeling instead of logic all because he heard a "damsel in distress." Starting off his rare vacation with spontaneity starting with an impromptu date with a stranger. He really isn't sure what you look like and it's obvious your handle doesn't have your real name in it, just PrincessPeach with some random numbers at the end. He takes the time to scroll through your profile. Seeing pictures of food, of many sunsets, a friend's dog that guest appears often, your own cat and plenty of strays.
It takes him a while before he sees a photo of you. His heart stutters in his chest as he looks you over. Laughing with a friend, soft lighting from strings over head that blur like little fireflies. Your smile is wide, half hidden by your hands as your eyes seem to smile with you. Sparkling as if they held stars.
For a moment Kirishima forgets how to breathe, it isn't until Diamond jumps down from the armchair does he inhale. He smiles softly to himself before he drops his towel, puts his phone on charge and promptly falls asleep in his bed.
Kirishima rises before the sun even has a chance to filter through his blinds. He sighs softly, getting up to a sitting position disturbing a fluffy white ball that lays beside him.
"Mmrow." Moon stone eyes blink slowly as they look at the mountainous man hogging the bed.
"I didn't mean to wake you sweet baby." He says softly, going to pet the soft white fur only for her to get up stretch and give him her butt before plopping back down.
"I know, mean ol' daddy woke you up too early again." He says softly, his hand falling onto her back before he rises from the bed. Fishing for his running shorts, socks, headphones and shoes. He makes his protein shake, leaning on the counter as he drinks it, looking at how you read, or better yet, listened to his message but still no reply. It was late and there was a small slurring of your words, he figures you've passed out. He just hopes you're okay.
His run goes as usual, up before anyone else unless they were the normal avid runner. Passing by the usual array of people. An old man holding onto his youth by jogging through his daily five mile morning run, Kirishima knows he runs another five in the evening while the sun is setting. He hopes he can embody some of this man's commitment when he is older. Then he passes a middle aged woman, who gives him the biggest smile as she pases, jogging backward to send him a wink before plowing ahead. Occasionally he'll see a running group or a few teens training to be heroes, they always ask if they can run his route. "It's long." He always warns in a kind, warm voice. They assure him they will be fine so far only one other person could handle his 12 mile morning run. A young woman in her second year of hero courses at UA. Since then Kirishima put in a word with his boss and so every time internships roll around she's in the office.
By the time Kirishima is rounding back towards his high rise apartment, the city begins to stir. Slowly waking as men and women in business suits rush towards the train, parents flinging open the doors or curtains fussing at their children who cling to an extra few minutes of sleep before school.
This was always his favorite part of the run, not because it was almost over, oh no it was because he had a chance to glimpse at everyday life. Of nine to fives, of school hours and after school hangs outs at snack bars or the library.
What most would call the mundane but Kirishima would never call it that. It's why he worked so hard to protect it.
Diamond greets his sweaty form at the door. Glaring angrily with her moon stone eyes. Tail swishing before she goes to the kitchen by her bowl. Waiting impatiently.
"I'm not late, sweet cheeks." He coos, and she glares, "I know I know. You're hungry now."
He opens the fridge, gets out the highest quality food there is and places it on her dish, sure to keep it all in the middle or she'll claim her bowl was empty. He added a splash of water too since the weather was starting to get hot.
He sucks down a water or two, demolishes a protein bar and then heads to the apartment gym.
A few hours roll by and without hearing from you yet his worry over your well being begins to cloud the forefront of his mind. He pauses his music, picks up his phone and talks out a voice memo.
A loud DING echoes from your room and around your skull as you rise with a throbbing headache.
"Fuck." You hiss to yourself grabbing at your head as you shakily rise to your feet. Yanking the handle of the faucet to drink from the stream before looking at yourself in the mirror.
"Ugh." You grunt ignoring your swollen face and eyes, yanking the mirror door open to snatch at the bottle of aspirin. Swallowing THREE extra strength pills before slamming the door shut and turning off the faucet. You make your way towards your bedroom, more than ready to sleep the rest of your day away. Grabbing at your phone to charge it you see the push notification of an Instagram message from Red Riot.
The fucking Red Riot.
Internally you scream before it bubbles up your throat and escapes. You fumble to unlock your phone before looking that it's a voice memo.
Mortified you realize you sent one too. And first at that.
"Fuck MEEE!" You plop onto the bed. Nervous this second voice memo is probably about how you're a weirdo or something as you relive the memory of asking him to be your plus one.
Hesitantly your thumb hovers over the play button before you find the strength to press the cool glass. A soft thunderous voice plays out.
"Good morning sleepy head. I haven't heard from you yet, I hope you're okay. Be sure to drink some water and eat something greasy. Trust me, late nights with Denki and Bakugou taught me something. Since the wedding is tomorrow I'll need a picture of your dress for the color and style so I can match you Sweet pea. Contact me soon so I can know where to pick you up."
Did he… did he just call you SWEET PEA? Your heart pounds in your chest before it registers he's asked for your dress color and lowkey asked for your address. This couldn't be real. It sounded like Kirishima, his voice familiar from interviews you've watched but it very well could be a prank. Defeated you hit the small microphone and reply.
Kirishima hears a sharp DING in his headphones over his music as he finishes his set. He wipes the sweat from his face on his shirt giving the few people in the gym a lovely view of his sweaty and thick torso. One woman trips on the treadmill but it goes unnoticed by Kirishima. He pauses his music and hits play on the little memo. Your beautiful yet groggy voice comes in through his ear buds causing Kirishima to bite his lip. It causes such a flutter of butterflies in his stomach he has to listen a second time to actually hear what you said. Although he understand, he cannot help but feel hurt by your reply.
"How do I know you're not just some pervy guy using Kirishima's Godly looks to prey on unsuspecting people."
Your phone chirps at you from the bed stand and you growl reaching for it. You had hoped your message would have been clear. An unspoken of you know they're a fucking creep taking advantage of their PR job.
"What can I do to prove it to you, Sweet Pea?"
You hate how that cute nickname sends your heart into a somersault and your stomach in delightful knots. Still your doubt pulls a harsh tut from your lips before you reply.
Kirishima doesn't need his phone to alert him that you've messaged him, he's been looking at his screen for far to long without having to restart his set. He listens to your voice as if it were music.
"Fine, you wanna prove it to me so bad. Take a picture of yourself shirtless with the word 'Sweet pea' you love so much and send it to me. No photoshop I know what my favorite hero looks like!"
For over an hour you don't hear back and you figure you showed that perv.
But now you can't sleep so you nurse a water, door dash a "greasy" breakfast all before cranking your shower as high as it can go. Your phone dings and you try to ignore it. You really do but as the saying goes curiosity killed the cat. Opening the message you see a classic guy mirror selfie. Kirishima is clear as day in the photo, his large hand pointing to his bare, hairy chest where sweat pea is scrawled in his adorable handwriting. He winks at the camera as his kissable lips wear a dangerous, almost cocky eyes travel down his bulk following his happy trail that dives under a pair of black shorts, the best part of the view getting cut off by the vanity. At first you try to rationalize that this was fake but damning evidence was sitting on the vanity. A fluffy white cat in a diamond and ruby encrusted collar sits on the counter giving her owner an odd look.
His cat Diamond that everyone knows he loves and adores. Slick begins to collect between your thighs and especially so after you listen to the voice memo that comes through shortly after. His normally friendly and soft voice comes out a bit dark, husky as he says in a playfully annoyed tone.
"Now send me a picture of that dress, Sweet Pea."
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