#when you can just...take a basic shape that worked for you and adapt it

[throwing-roses-into-the-abyss]

honestly, mad respect for people who understand how patterns work and who can follow the step by step instructions. I've tried using one pattern and that project is still in mock up phase because things keep going wonky with it

meanwhile I have 2 almost complete projects that I cloned from extant garments from the museum and then completely adapted to how I want them while I just winged the whole process. 0 instructions. Just starting somewhere and going 'hmmm but what if I do this though'.

[stxrrgirlz]

Can you please do Stray kids Lee know as your boyfriend

Leeknow x fem!reader

Tysm for the request I literally can’t stop thinking abt it he’s just the best bf omgomg <333😵‍💫

Leeknow might not open up at first when you start dating, but when you do? He’s the cutest!

FLUFF

He will try to visit you as much as possible with his busy schedule, and if he can visit you, he will FaceTime you. He’s the type of guy to fall asleep on the phone with you, and he always falls asleep first, even though he tries to stay up to see you drift off first.

Whenever you two are together, he will want to take you shopping or just out in general to spend time with you. Expect a lot of food when you guys go out; he’d love eating with you.

He’s going to rest his head on your shoulder whenever possible; I definitely feel like he’ll cuddle into your body and wrap his hands around your waist while you sit and scroll on your phone.

He’s not into PDA much, but he will hold hands with you and stay close to you at all times, no matter where you are! He doesn’t care if you're in the changing room trying on clothes; he’s right outside the door!

He goes all out on your birthday and holidays, and he doesn’t expect much in return. You could give him one thoughtful present, and he’s practically overheating you with how tightly he’s hugging you.

He will bring you to the studio some time so you two could talk and hang out while he’s working. Even if he can't talk much when he’s practicing or recording, he’s just happy to have you around.

When he introduces you to the rest of the group? You know you’ve made it. The rest of the group accepts you pretty quickly and thinks your relationship with Leeknow is the cutest. They have considered stalking you two on a date before but decided against it.)

He doesn’t use pet names like “doll” and prefers more basic ones, like baby or even just your name; nicknames are also a regular exchange between you two.

SMUT

This man is the best in bed. Though he might not have much experience before you, he’s a quick learner and is good at adapting to what you like and your likes. He has your body memorized like the back of his hand and knows exactly where your G-spot is.

He’s a decent 6.5 inches, and his girth is lethal. This makes it kind of hard for you to give him a head, but he’s definitely more of a giver than a receiver anyway.

Like I said before, he's more of a giver than a receiver. Your pleasure over his always, and he just loves seeing you moan and writhe under him, and he sucks and licks are your puffy clit.

He will prep you 1000 times just to make sure his girth won't hurt you when he slides in. He starts slow and loves slow and sensual sex, but if you tell him to speed up, he most definitely will obey.

Claw at his back; he DOES like it. He likes the fact that you left your mark on him and also reassures him that hes doing a good job when your hands are holding on tightly to his back, forming crescent shapes with your nails.

He has really good taming but will stop after the first round because he knows how annoying your orgasmas can be, but if you tell him to keep going, he definitely will! Anything to please his sweet gf<3

He’s so good at aftercare and will take care of you so well, running you a warm bubble bath and picking your fucked-out body up gently and washing you before dressing you himself and lying down to cuddle you.

Best boyfriend ever, he does no wrong<333

[specialagentartemis]

I just started trying out stained glass, which I know you also do...any hot tips for beginners or things you wish you'd known when you were first learning?

YOOO STAINED GLASS. Fave. I would love to see what you come up with!

Are you primarily using foil+solder or lead came? I've never actually used came so I have very little advice in that department, though I do want to at some point...

Some things to keep in mind, some imparted to me by my craft center teachers and some discovered by trial and error:

Get a designated box to cut glass over, because the more ambitious the shapes you want to cut, the more shards WILL go everywhere and you want to keep them contained.

If you're cutting glass by hand, you cannot make sharply concave shapes. You will think you can. You will think it can't be that hard. You WILL push your luck. You will end up frustrated. Avoid concave shapes.

If you want to cut concave curves, make them very gently and generously sloped.

If you want to incorporate concave shapes in your design, use multiple pieces of glass to make the curve.

Design with glass in mind from the get-go, rather than trying to adapt a complicated image. If you're designing your own work, try to build it around larger, geometric shapes, without a lot of small fiddly curves. Small fiddly curves DO make fun images, but they will also drive you crazy when they inevitably don't quite fit together right. Make sure you build in enough larger, geometric shapes into your design to anchor your piece and save your sanity.

That said. NGL incorporating things like fossils and marbles and weird shaped natural things is Fun. You can wrap anything you want in copper tape.

Draw or print out your pattern on paper and number each piece on both the pattern and the glass itself. Sharpie wipes off glass pretty easily.

When grinding glass, make sure each piece is ever so slightly smaller than it is on your pattern. The thickness of copper tape seems negligable but adds up when you want pieces to fit precisely.

There are non-lead solders, and they're basically fine, if a little more annoying to use. Lead melts more easily, but I usually use zinc because it's not lead lol. Though if you're not eating off of your stained glass, using lead proooobably isn't a huge deal. Always wash your hands after glasswork regardless.

Tip tinner is your friend! Tin the tip of your soldering iron before and after use, it makes it so much easier.

When you're soldering pieces together, I find laying down a base of thick cardboard, laying out your design on the cardboard, and then using thumbtacks around the edges to anchor the glass pieces in place and prevent them from sliding around helps a lot.

If you want to hang up your stained glass creation like a suncatcher, add loops or hooks, and try to put them at junctures/seams of different pieces of glass to distribute the weight and pressure. My go-to method to make loops for hanging the pieces is to take a metal paperclip, and then loop it around needlenose pliers to make a circle with the wire sticking straight out on either side. Lay the flat wire ends along the outside and solder it down. It makes good secure loops that you can tie a ribbon or attach a chain to, while distributing the pressure along the outside of the piece. And it’s metal so solder sticks to it.

I hope that's not too much! I love working in glass, it's fun and it's so pretty.

[imagoddamnonionmason]

Basic Information

Other Name(s):  Nadežda Pugacheva (before brainwashing), Nadya (family and Perseus Operators), Nad (Keith), Jo (Mason, Woods), Bell (callsign), Auntie Dodie (Toddler!David Mason). Later become Jodie Woods, once she and Frank become married in 1984.

Physical Appearance

Eyes: honeyed brown

Hair: dark brown

Skin: white

Tattoo(s): none

Scar(s): shoulder, chest - gunshot wounds. Other misc. scars. 

Face Claim: Kate Beckinsale

Description: At first glance, Jodie seems to be quite plain, though this is something that she prefers given her line of work. Her hair is just past shoulder-length when she wears it down, but when working it is pulled up into a ponytail/low bun. There are some bangs that frame her forehead and sides of her face, which can be wayward when she attempts to tie them back, so usually leaves them alone. 

Her facial features are sharp, nestled on an oval shaped frame. Occasionally, when a situation calls for it, she will wear minimal makeup - she feels out of place when she does wear it, so often opts out of it. Her ears are pierced with a singular stud, but takes them out when on missions. 

As for what she wears, Jodie will often wear jeans and a plain grey t-shirt when in the safe house or her downtime, accented with a jean jacket, or cardigan if it’s a little cold. She does have a thicker, muted green winter jacket for colder weather. She also wears plain pumps. 

For missions, it’s often a muted green turtleneck, dark jacket and combat trousers, with military boots. She will also wear the appropriate paraphernalia attributed with operators to carry extra clips, lethals and other such equipment. 

Personality

Like(s): coffee, dogs, nighttime, rain, puzzles, cyphers, that people actually trust her, Frank's beard (if he shaves, she fights), intelligent conversation, her daughter (loves her so much)

Dislike(s): dark chocolate, when it’s so hot you can’t breathe, being snuck up on, being spoken about as though she isn't there, people questioning her loyalty or her integrity, being left out of important conversations that involve her, if anyone messes with her daughter, being judged based on her past, not having full recollection of her past

Strength(s): calm, efficient, loyal, fast thinker, keen eye for patterns and details, can be very patient, willing to compromise where needed, adaptable

Weakness(es): can be cold and mistrustful, can be very guarded even against those she trusts, lets past trauma rule her sometimes, even though loyalty is also her strength it can also be her weakness, her calmness can be taken as being cold, detached, even apathetic sometimes, at other times she can be stubborn and her anger can get the better of her. When she sees red, it's red.

Relationships

Parent(s): unnamed Russian mother, unnamed Russian father 

Sibling(s): Radomir Timofeyovich Pugachev aka Timosha (brother)

Friend(s): Sarah and Alex Mason, (after a time) Russell Adler, Aleksandra Adler (@alypink's OC)

Spouse(s): Frank Woods (husband)

Child(ren): Ashley Woods (daughter)

Biography

1949 - Nadežda’s family is captured by the MGB and sent to [redacted], an undisclosed Gulag within rural Russia. Father, a WW2 veteran, was executed at the time of capture. There were rumours that he was critical of the current government and had become belligerent with his negative opinion of his leaders. By extension, his family were heavily scrutinised and kept at the Gulag. Her mother passed away in the labour camp. Initially, Nadežda and her brother, Radomir, were kept there with their mother, until her death, then were sent to a children’s orphanage. 

1953 - Nadežda is approached by an old friend of her father’s, who said to have fought alongside him during WW2. He makes her an offer she can’t refuse and joins his ranks despite her young age. She did this as this old friend promised he could find a suitable family to keep her brother safe and grow up to live in a better Russia. From then, she trained to fight and became an excellent tool for Perseus to use. (He had been too late to ask for her father to join his ranks, but she was the next best thing in his mind.)

1958 - At the age of eighteen, Nadežda was ordered to join the KGB by Perseus, to work alongside comrades and earn their trust, so that he may learn ways to exploit them if the need arose in the future and to seek potential operators to join his ranks. She studied at the Higher Intelligence School in Moscow, where she extended her espionage knowledge.

1960 - [redacted].

1962 - Nadežda is ordered to collect information regarding growing US involvement in Vietnam. Any encoded information regarding US military operations is passed over Nadežda’s desk. Also ordered to decode any Russian intelligence regarding the Cuban Missile Crisis. 

1965 - [redacted].

1968 - encoded intelligence regarding Operation Fracture Jaw is decoded by Nadežda. 

1969 - [redacted].

1976 - Nadežda, alongside other Persues operators, rescues Vikhor “Stitch” Kuzmin.

[Following paragraphs are redacted.]

1979 - Nadežda makes contact with Special Officer, Keith Wells, offering crucial insight into Perseus’ organisation. What causes this change of allegiance is unknown to the CIA. Nadežda is informed by Officer Wells that there is a mole within the CIA and not to trust any other operator other than himself, as they could not risk the information crossing the palms of the wrong person. They come to an agreement that Nadežda would claim no knowledge of him in the face of possible interrogations, if ever that came to happen. 

[Following paragraphs are redacted.]

1981 - January 13, Nadežda accompanied Arash Kadivar to Trabzon airfield, Turkey. Subsequently, Kadivar shoots Nadežda after revealing that he knows of her betrayal. He states that it’s a shame one of Perseus’ top agents turns out to be nothing more than a traitorous dog. CIA operatives, Alex Mason, Frank Woods and Russell Adler assassinate Kadivar, preventing the weapons from leaving the country. Upon sweeping the tarmac for survivors, Adler finds Nadežda still alive with a dossier related to Perseus. 

Following Nadežda’s capture and recovery from her injuries, traditional methods of interrogation did not succeed. She had hoped that, due to her captors being the CIA, word of her capture might reach Officer Wells, as she intended to keep her word and say nothing of their interactions; after expressing, in one interrogation, that the only operator she would speak with was Officer Wells, she is informed that he was presumed KIA and possibly at the hands of a Perseus Operator. Nadežda does not know whether to trust this information, given what Officer Wells had said in the past and so kept her mouth shut out of loyalty to him.

Several weeks later, through psychological torture, neuroactive drugs and hypnosis, Adler, the CIA, alongside MI6 Agent Helen Park, brainwashed her. A connection was formed between Adler and Nadežda by use of fake, implanted memories inspired by Adler’s time in Vietnam with the success of implying a years-long friendship between the two. 

Nadežda was no more and Adler gave her the callsign Bell. 

Alongside this, a whole new persona was fashioned and Bell was an MI6 Agent, Jodie Hall, from London, England, though information of her past never went further than that.  

“We have a job to do.” was the common trigger phrase to keep Bell in check as well as slipping small amounts of neuro-stimulant drugs to Bell to keep their conditioning effective. 

Volkov is captured. 

Bell and Woods uncover a Spetsnaz training ground - encrypted information regarding Operation Greenlight is uncovered. 

KGB headquarters infiltrated with the help of Dimitri Belikov uncovering previously erased names of Sleeper Agents, who Perseus aims to use in their upcoming infiltration of Operation Greenlight. 

Sleeper Agent Theodore Hastings is followed to Cuba, where the mission goes south - Bell saves Park’s life but is unable to save Lazar. 

Adler and the team reveal Bell’s true identity, but she remains loyal to their cause, revealing the location of Perseus and the station which will be used to detonate the nukes aimed on half the world. Though she is confused, betrayed and angry, she understands this choice is the right one and, somewhere deep down, she knows she didn’t need the conditioning to have made it. 

Solovetsky is attacked and the nukes are stopped. 

Bell is MIA for a short while.

Once located, a deal is made with the CIA that she would offer her services and any information she had on the Perseus faction and hunting down any Perseus Operators still in action in exchange for starting a new life in America as her given persona, Jodie Hall.

[m3dieval]

If one was looking for armor, not just for the look, but for jousting and fighting. How would someone go around and do that? You seem to be more knowledgeable than most about these things and I’m lost on what to get. I’ve foolishly gotten pieces that were really for decoration rather than practicality.

This is going to depend on what sports/activities you plan in doing with your suit. Buhurt and balsa jousting for example will have different requirements. But the main things to look for are: material and fit.

Spring steel (properly tempered) tends to be the gold standard for combat sports. But mild steel (for more historical) and titanium are also used. Some groups/leagues have specifics on minimum thicknesses of material based on what it is and where it's protecting.

Stainless steel is generally not recommended if you plan on doing anything with metal weapons, but I have seen it used in some older jousting suits.

Chainmail is the one easy answer I have: if you want it to hold up to any of the armoured combat sports you need riveted mail. No butted mail!

For buhurt armour, which has a reputation of being made of good material but having a questionable fit, Buhurt Tech and Medieval Extreme are the shops that come to mind. One of the reasons I think buhurt is popular, is because they've made armour relatively affordable. You can get a full suit for as little as $3000 USD at Medieval Extreme and it will hold up to buhurt hits. If buhurt is popular in your area, you might also be able to buy some secondhand pieces.

Buhurt style suits are generally teased by the historical community for the fit. They're made to be more heavily padded, so they usually fit a little too big. They're made to be easier to fit, so often there is basically no shape at the waist. And there are other sport-specific adaptations that aren't based on history. But that's okay, most people in buhurt aren't trying to pass themselves off as reenactors. When looking at armour it is helpful to be able to spot the difference (look at the fit and proportions):

For historical armour used in jousting, harness fencing, and reenactment battles: either find a reputable armourer or buy a secondhand suit. Finding an armourer can be challenging. If you're part of a group (jousting, medieval society, etc), ask around about where people got their stuff. The United League of Armourers on facebook might be able to help you locate someone (even just reading the discussions there can be educational).

Sometimes there's a decent local armourer who you doesn't have an online presence (usually they are found though said group). This unknown hobbyist armourer is going to be significantly more affordable than a well established armourer who's getting international clients (and their waitlist should be a lot shorter) but there is a bit of a gamble on quality. If you find one, make sure you see what they've already made first.

Armourers whose work I've seen in person and can vouch for the quality (just looking at their portfolios should give you an idea of what quality looks like):

Jeffrey Wasson:

Eric Dubé:

TBH I usually forget to ask who made someone suit 😅 But if you're on the market for armour it's a good habit to get into asking that.

My helmet is made by Jeffery Hedgecock (he makes the armour at Historic Enterprises). My suit is made by Marc Hamel (he doesn't take online commissions). These were both bought secondhand from a jouster I met when I was working as ground crew years ago (it was over $600 CAN just to get it shipped from Quebec to Alberta).

My gauntlets are the worst part of my suit, they're these hourglass ones from Armstreet. They don't fit will enough for jousting, but they have protected my hands for sparring with synthetic swords. I am looking to replace them soon.

Armstreet is hit or miss. Definitely do your own research before you go browsing there.

The secret third option is to do a massive amount of research, get some mild steel and tools, then make your own armour. I'd start with watching videos about this (I recommend Greenleaf Workshop). Some armourers also sell classes, like Eric Dubé.

And we haven't even gotten around to discussing arming garments! We'll save that for another post.

Long story short: I probably can't make better recommendations than whatever group you join to participate in the activity you are requiring armour for (there are many types of jousting, there are many types of foot combat). But hopefully these resources give you somewhere to start looking.

[stories-and-chaos]

Tarnished

[Helluva Boss AU where Blitzø’s childhood theft from Stolas’ palace is discovered and major consequences ensue for everyone involved. Concept inspired by this AU, Push. Trying to stick with established lore but taking some liberties to make the drama work. Multiple headcanons from various sources I’ve come across included as suits the story. Starts roughly five years before Murder Family, I’m making assumptions about the timeline]

[18+ rating for language, implied sexual content, violence, alcohol consumption and general Hellaverse-ness]

[Part 1/?? Word count: 3761]

———————

Moxxie’s back slammed into the rough wooden bed frame as he heard the distinctive clang of prison bars rattling shut. He still couldn’t believe Chaz had just left him there. Grabbed the goods and ran. The imp realized his boyfriend was just as shitty out of bed as he was in it. He started tearing up as he climbed on the bottom bunk. Moxxie knew his dad wouldn’t bail him out or anything. He might have been the boss’s only (legitimate) son but he was also the most junior member of the family. And Crimson was not a sentimental imp.

Moxxie had been caught red clawed too, pinned by the security gate. No need for any formalities like a trial in the Greed Ring. A mugshot, strip down, and forced into a jumpsuit before the cops tossed him in a cell. Of course, Greed’s police force was basically a mafia on a wider scale.

“Soooo, what’re you in for?” A voice drawled from the top bunk. Moxxie hadn’t realized he had a cellmate. Oh crumbs, had the other demon heard him crying?! If there was a way to ensure you didn’t get out of prison in one piece, it was letting others know how weak you were the moment you were locked up. His tail reflexively whipped closer, as if trying to hide himself.

“Okay, not much of a talker, are you?” The voice almost sounded jovial. In prison? A squeak of the mattress and the other prisoner launched himself to the floor with theatrical flair. Before he could do more than sit up and blink the tall imp gripped his hand to shake. Not the vice-like grip his father used, hard enough to make claw shaped indents into the other’s hand. It was a firm, friendly shake.

“I'm Blitzø, the "o" is silent. I'm sure we're going to get along just fine. So, what's your deal? What'd you do? Who'd you diddle? You look like someone good with a gun. You look like someone who could shoot up an office-“ Moxxie tried to interject, but the other imp plowed on.

“-and I hope you are 'cuz I got a plan to get us out of this dump but I'm going to need some help, you think you can give me a hand? I need to get out to my daughter. The babysitter will kill me if I don't get back soon. Also I got some business scheduled in Pride that I gotta get back for. Do you like kids? 'Cause lemme tell 'ya. They're a-fucking-dorable.” Moxxie felt his eyes warming up with more tears but his lips were forming a shaky smile. He realized he hadn’t smiled like this since… well he could barely remember. At first he thought since Chaz ditched him, but really it was since his mom “disappeared.”

It took a couple of days for the cellmates to enact Blitzø’s plan. Moxxie had to learn the complex’s layout and they had to make sure they could get to a weapon cache. Their escape was successful, both of them got banged up, and Moxxie’s body count tripled as a result of the escapade.

A few things they learned about each other: Blitzø’s circus background made him extremely agile and prone to acrobatic feats in a fight. He was batshit crazy once the ichor started flowing but he kept his eye out on his partner. The scarred imp backed up Moxxie more than once when he floundered while they fled for the Pride Ring. His plans were grandiose but he was quick to adapt and quicker to protect his cohort.

On the other claw, Moxxie was even better with firearms than Blitzø thought. So long as the kid kept his composure, he didn’t miss a shot. It was almost magickal and he saw more magick than most of their kind. The kid seemed quiet and well mannered for the most part. He could get absolutely fucking feral in a fight, becoming an even better shot if that was possible. But he was insecure and desperate for approval. The pure shock on his face when Blitzø told him “nice work Mox,” after they got out told the older imp that he’d probably never been praised in his life.

One bonus to no trial before you were thrown in prison? No one was too keen on dragging you back if you got out. Especially if you massacred 80% of the guards on your way out, traumatized 18%, and awakened some very interesting feelings in the final 2%. It wasn’t worth spending hard grifted money chasing down someone who would just do the same thing even if you managed to catch them. If they’d run off from Mammon, the escaping prisoners would be hunted down. But otherwise, even the police mafia didn’t give that much of a shit.

The duo had snagged a couple of overcoats so their bright orange jumpsuits would stand out less. The plan was to get to Blitzø’s apartment, check up on his kid, grab some cash to rent Moxxie a room for the night and change before Blitzø had to be at his appointment.

Except once they got to the Pride Ring, Blitzø started freaking the fuck out. “Shitshitshitshitshiiiiiiitfuckingdammit.” A stream of profanities just kept coming out of his mouth as Blitzø picked up his pace.

“Um, sir?” It was drilled into Moxxie to address superiors as sir or ma’am; Blitzø had taken charge during their escape and didn’t seem to mind being called sir. “What happened, you started panicking once we got here.” This was presumably the older imp’s home turf, yet he was more off balance than at any other point in the past three days.

“FUUUUUUUCKokay Mox, change of plans.” He spun around and grasped the shorter imp by the shoulders. “I lost track of the time and I can’t miss this appointment. Do you know anyone in this ring that can put you up for the night?” Blitzø doubted it. It seemed like the kid had stayed in Greed up until now. A quick head shake confirmed that. “You got two choices, cause I don’t have time to get you someplace first. You can head off alone and we’ll meet up tomorrow or you can come with me, play along, and hope it’s not worse than prison.”

Moxxie was taken aback; first off that was the most words in a row without swears he’d heard from Blitzø. Second, “Where are you going that’s worse than prison?”

“A Goetian estate.”

Moxxie’s jaw dropped. He might as well have said he was meeting up with Lucifer. Yet… Blitzø had an appointment to be there. And it was important enough that he couldn’t even check on his kid first. Not to mention, wandering around an unfamiliar area wearing a prison jumpsuit was next to suicidal. “I’ll stick with you sir.”

“Ballsy! I knew I fucking liked you Moxxie.” He whirled around and started loping toward the fancy ass side of the city. “Keep up Mox! We gotta go!”

It took about half an hour of running and weaving through crowds but they made it before…whatever time Blitzø was so intent on outrunning. He had started running even faster about halfway, his desperation more than apparent. Once he passed through the gates, all the tension left his body. He slumped to the ground; Moxxie hesitated as he gaped at the ornate fencing. The gate and elegant fence had the symbol of the Goetia family (a crowned heart) emblazoned every few yards.

Moxxie had grown up a privileged life, especially for an imp. Servants, tutors, a well stocked manor. But the building in front of him was on another level. It was more of a palace than anything; multistoried with heraldic banners hanging, multiple manicured gardens, statues strategically placed and the master’s sigil glowing prominently on the wall. And that was just what he could glimpse in the full moon’s light. This was the difference between money and royalty.

“Last chance Moxxie. C’mon in or head off somewhere and I’ll meet you at my office at noon tomorrow. If you’re still standing around here in a few, those fuckers will drag you with me anyway.” He gulped and stepped onto the grounds next to the other imp. “Still ballsy.” Blitzø’s grin was back.

“Here’s what’s going to go down. Any minute now some beefy hellhound fucks are gonna show up to haul me in. They might grab you, might let you walk. Either way, keep your mouth shut and just back me up if I ask. Hopefully we won’t see that overdressed bitch tonight but if she’s around don’t make eye contact. And-“ whatever he was about to add was cut off as four hellhounds jogged up.

Blitzø wasn’t kidding about them being beefy. They were all different breeds but they all had biceps as big as his head, wrapped in artfully ripped suits. The matching suits, earpieces, sunglasses, and crisp posture gave them an air of professionalism that was a sharp contrast to his dad’s goons.

“Oh look, it’s the Chucklefuck squad and the Douchenugget duo. Who’d you piss off to land the night shift?” Blitzø taunted the Hounds, seemingly indifferent to the fact any one of them could snap him in half. Two of them grabbed Blitzø by the arms, grinning sadistically at the thought of manhandling the smaller demons.

“Lady Stella specifically requested we escort you in, Blitzø.” Blitzø winced “Satan fucking dammit.” Apparently Lady Stella was the overdressed bitch he’d mentioned. “She’s got a party tonight so she doesn’t have to hear your scrawny ass getting pounded. But she knew how much you’d like friends to bring you home.” The Hellhound punctuated his words with a sharp snap of his teeth.

Home? Moxxie backpedaled in confusion, only to bump into the leg of another security Hound. Said Hound grabbed him around the torso, easily pinning both arms and leaving Moxxie’s hooves dangling far from the ground. He struggled, trying to at least get back to the ground. The size difference and Moxxie’s lack of weapons meant he didn’t stand much chance at the moment. The pair with Blitzø took the lead, not caring that his dragging hooves were tearing furrows into the lawns or creating sparks on the paths.

Blitzø let them, worn out from the prison break and subsequent dash back to Pride. He was too tired to try to keep pace with his “escorts.” He kept glancing back to Moxxie, trying to reassure him. The younger imp was clearly terrified. He couldn’t really help the kid at the moment; the bulldog faced Hellhound carrying him lifted his lip whenever Blitzø looked back.

Fuck this fucking farce and fuck Paimon with a rusty crucifix for doing this, Blitzø thought to himself for the ten thousandth time in his life. Best to go through the motions as quickly as possible. The group arrived at one of the drawing rooms and Blitzø was dumped unceremoniously on the thick carpet.

The whirlwind trip through the estate proved to Moxxie that royalty had a whole different definition of luxury from what he knew. Paintings, mosaics, sculptures, exotic plants were just the beginning as they rushed through hallways wider than his bedroom at his dad’s. He’d lost count of how many doors they passed before they reached one in particular.

Blitzø was thrown to the ground but the one holding Moxxie didn’t loosen his grip. Blitzø glared back at the Hellhounds, hissing. The Hounds responded with low growls. Everyone went silent when a lithe figure snapped the cover of a book shut and unfolded itself from a lounge by the fireplace. This had to be one of the Goetia, presumably the master of this estate.

His extreme height was the first thing Moxxie noticed. Moxxie was about average for an imp in height; the glimpses he’d seen of imp servants in this maze were all much smaller. Blitzø was on the taller end of the spectrum but the Hounds were easily double his height. This royal demon towered over them all. You could stack Moxxie, Blitzø, and even one of the small servants on a Hellhound’s shoulders and they still would barely be eye level with the demon’s glowing eyes.

At least the bottom set. He had two sets, a large bottom pair and a thinner set above that could have been mistaken for elegant eyebrows if they hadn’t been glowing red. Glowing eyes weren't unusual for hellborn, but the deep red pupil-less aura was still intimidating. The white facial disc only enhanced that aura with its contrast.

What could be seen of the demon’s form was covered in smooth grey feathers, sheening in the firelight. The plush robe he wore was lightly cinched at the waist and barely clung to the shoulders, showing the feathers covered the majority of his body. He stalked deliberately to where Blitzø was climbing to his hooves, features set in a stern expression.

“St- Master Stolas,” Blitzø stuttered as the avian demon loomed above him. Master?! Oh crumbs, what in Satan’s name is going on?! Was all that talk about a daughter, starting up a business, growing up in the circus, everything just a lie? “I got back as quick as I could, I didn’t even have a chance to check on Loonie first…” Stolas cut him off with a gesture. Apparently the daughter talk wasn’t a lie at least.

Stolas glanced at the Hound carrying Moxxie. “Put the little one down,” he ordered in clipped, cultured tones. “I’ll deal with them from here.” The Hounds exchanged glances and grins. Suddenly Moxxie was on the ground when his captor opened his arms. “As you wish, Prince Stolas.” The imp was getting serious mood whiplash. Stolas wasn’t just a member of the Goetia but one of the princes. Maybe Blitzø was right; this was worse than prison.

The guards hadn’t left the room before Stolas leaned over Blitzø, foreheads nearly touching. “What the FUCK were you doing in the Greed Ring that landed in you prison!” The Hellhounds grins grew wider as they shut the doors and Moxxie was sure he heard the slap of a high five. “Are you not being careful enough in the other Rings? You know if you get in trouble I have to get you out of it. And we don’t want that, do we my itty bitty imp?” Stolas punctuated his words with taps between Blitzø’s nostrils. His words were furious but Moxxie could see his expression softening once the doors clicked shut. He had plenty of experience being berated and threatened by Crimson, but he was getting so many mixed signals he didn’t know what to do.

“A job went bad, Master. It won’t happen again.” Despite just having a royal yell at him, Blitzø’s smirk was back. Without guards around he was able to give his companion a double thumbs up while replying. His voice sounded utterly defeated but his posture had perked up.

“Luckily for you, what passes for authority in the Greed Ring isn’t likely to give a shit about a couple of escapee imps. Speaking of which,” four dazzling red eyes locked onto Moxxie. “Who is this that you’ve dragged along?”

“Moxxie got tossed into my cell, I couldn’t just fucking leave him there. He’s a crazy good shot, figured he’d be a good candidate for that project we talked about.”

“Hmmmm,” Stolas seemed to be looking the young imp over. It was hard to tell without any pupils. “We will discuss this later. For now,” the prince continued in a haughty tone, “we need to establish the punishment for your little slip up during your extraneous activities. Both of you, follow me.” Stolas turned, his robe and tail feathers swirling dramatically around him. Moxxie looked nervously in Blitzø’s direction. There was a faint glow under the older imp’s shirt collar as he replied “Yes Master Stolas.” He gestured for Moxxie to follow, not at all concerned about what Stolas might have planned as “punishment.”

Apparently the room they’d been delivered to was the first and most public in the master suite. They entered what looked like a well appointed bedroom with a huge canopied bed adorned with blankets and a nest of deep cushions. There was a bookshelf inset in an alcove next to a chaise lounge and chairs, a small desk, and hints of a bathtub on a raised dais shrouded by curtains. Candles and moonlight made the Goetia emblem glimmer wherever it was stamped or embroidered.

The door locked shut behind them, nearly making Moxxie jump out of his skin. As soon as the door was shut, Stolas swooped down to Blitzø, cupping the imp’s cheeks with a tenderness that made his yelling in the drawing room seems like a hallucination. “Are you alright dearest?” the prince cooed as he stroked Blitzø’s head. “Mmph, I’m fine Stolas, really.” Blitzø’s voice was muffled from Stolas’ talons smushing his face. “Just tired from that last sprint. Almost didn’t make it in time. Fucking Cinderhella bullshit.”

“I’m sorry darling. I’ll keep working on it. I’ve been so worried the past few days.” Apparently satisfied that Blitzø was unhurt, the owl demon moved to nuzzling and preening the imp’s particolor skin.

Blitzø gasped at the soft feathers brushing his neck. “Stolas, if you wanna fuck as part of my “punishment” I’m on board, but I don’t think Moxxie wants to watch.” He looked at the other imp over the prince’s head. His face was flushed and a lazy lascivious smile spread across his lips. “Unless you wanna watch Mox. I’ve always liked an audience.” He waggled his eyebrows; Moxxie couldn’t tell if he was joking or not.

Stolas’ eyes jerked open. He let out a surprised hoot before shooting up to his full height. “Ah! Um, yes, o-of course! We can pick this up later Blitzy.” Blitzy? Within moments Stolas had shifted from a pissed off royal yelling at his property to a flustered loverboy using pet names. “Apologizes for not properly introducing myself earlier.” He bowed with a deep flourish, putting his face eye level to Moxxie. “My name is Stolas, Prince of Ars Goetia.”

Blitzø stretched, popping vertebrae all down his spine and tail. “Didn’t your daddy tell you not to bow to imps?” The same jovial tone Moxxie heard when they first met was back in his voice.

Stolas snorted. “My father, the shit eating bastard that he is, can go fuck himself. Preferably with something full of splinters to join the stick up his arse.” The prince was just as foul-mouthed as Blitzø, with the addition of a fancy vocabulary. He guided Blitzø to the lounge and offered a nearby easy chair to Moxxie. It was built for a Goetia, meaning any imp had to jump to climb up and their feet would dangle childlike once seated. However Stolas produced a step stool from the book alcove, so he could seat himself with more dignity.

“Hi, I’m Moxxie Knolastname.” Hopefully neither of them would recognize the name of one of the Greed Ring’s crime families. “Sir, what the fuck is going on? You didn’t mention any of this before we got to the gates. What was all that about?” Moxxie gestured wildly to the rest of the palace, hoping to indicate everything that had just happened.

“Eh, guess you deserve some explanation. Not the best time but fuck it.” Blitzø rubbed at his forehead, specifically the All Imp Circus brand in the middle. In the space of a blink it changed from a black skull faced heart to a white heart topped by a crown, flanked by decorative lines. “Short version, my dad fucked me over and sold me to the Goetia. His dad,” he jerked a thumb at the lanky owl reclining next to him, “decided to add to the jackassery and bound us.”

“And I am not about to copy his example so I give my darling Blitzy as much free reign as I can manage.” Stolas wrapped his arms and legs around Blitzø with a look of glee. It was simultaneously tender, protective, and possessive. “Unfortunately, members of both my family and staff are quick to spread word to my wilted prick of a father and other members of Ars Goetia, so we maintain a semblance of the master/slave dynamic outside my chambers. Hence, all that.” Stolas vaguely waved in the same direction as Moxxie had before latching back onto Blitzø. “Eugh, Blitzy, you smell awful. That prison cannot have been sanitary. Please get cleaned up dearest, you and… Moxxie, was it? Hopefully we have something clean that will fit you; you’re a bit taller than much of my household staff.”

“I’m sure we’ve got some of my old stuff that’ll work. But seriously Stolas, I couldn’t check on Loonie before this. Can I pop out real qui-”

“Loona is fine.” Stolas interjected with a comforting tone. “I had one of the maids check up on her and the ‘babysitter.’ She let them know you were delayed and offered overtime pay to the young lady.” The maid, one of the few who was loyal to Stolas and Blitzø, relayed that the imp girl, while possessing a distinct country charm, was “thoroughly pissed” at having to watch over an angsty teenager without pay. She’d been all smiles again when informed of the extra money she was being advanced.

Blitzø took a deep breath of relief. He’d adopted the nearly adult Hellhound just a few months ago and they were still getting used to each other. He didn’t know what she’d do on her own yet, hence the babysitter. She was an imp from Wrath he’d gotten to know during the Harvest Festival Stolas had to officiate. She decimated opponents in the Pain Games so Blitzø knew she could handle just about anything.

“Thanks Floof,” he gave Stolas a quick frenching before heading through an inconspicuous door near the bed. He pushed Moxxie along and heard Stolas’ trilling voice call out. “Make sure you put those jumpsuits in the laundry hamper. I look forward to having a little prison bitch around later.” All of Blitzø’s spines stood up at the thought and a tingling warmth raced over him. Not about to let Stolas get the last word, he shot back through the closing door, “I’m sure Mox’s will fit you like those slutty rompers you like to prance around in.” He could hear hooting chuckles from the other room while Moxxie clapped his hands over his head.

—————

Moxxie blinked as the lights flickered on. As if one suite of rooms wasn’t enough, here was essentially an apartment sized for imps. It was much like a studio apartment with one large area for sleeping, eating, relaxing, and a mini kitchen. The furnishings weren’t a match for the rest of the palace, but decent and sturdy. There was a closet and one other door leading to the bathroom. No windows. The only exit was through the master suite. Moxxie started breathing hard as he realized this was basically an upgraded cell.

“Yeah, I know it’s kinda freaky. But it’s one of the safest places in the building.” Blitzø opened the closet and started tossing clothes on the bed. “We set this up after Stolas married that bitchy feather duster. Only people that can get in are me, Stolas, his kid, and one of the maids. Oh, and the people I bring in.” He took the pile of clothes and dropped them on Moxxie. “These are all too small for me now. We could raid the servant’s closets buuuuuuuut…screw that. Now let's see if there’s anything to eat.” A quick look in the fridge produced beers and a comically large cheese wedge. “Oh fuck yes, that woman deserves a raise! Or a good dicking if she wants it again.” Blitzø had the cheese in one hand, a beer in the other hand that was unzipping the prison wear and his tail wrapped around another beer. “You wanna eat before you clean up? There’s more beer, some fried chicken, and I think a salad if you want it.” He stuck out a forked tongue at the thought of vegetables. “Maybe a good enough fuck will get her to stop putting salads in here.”

Food, real food not prison slop, sounded great but a bit of time alone sounded better. “I’ll wash up first sir, I can’t stand this thing anymore.” Blitzø chomped away while giving him another thumbs up. Moxxie caught a glimpse of white scars covering patches of the other imp’s neck, arms, and torso, and what looked like a gold choker at his throat. He closed the bathroom door and dumped the clothes onto a bench. The bathroom wasn’t ostentatious like what he glimpsed in Stolas’s room. It had all the basics in a reasonable size. One thing he did notice was the horse decor. Horses and horseshoes everywhere. The rubber devilduckie was even a cowboy.

It was probably more polite to take a quick shower. Moxxie needed some time to regain his footing though, so he soaked in a bath. He’d been off balance since crossing the gates. Of course, nothing could have prepared him for anything he’d come across here. From everything he’d picked up Blitzø and Stolas were in a shitty situation and trying to make the best of it. It didn’t mean Moxxie had to stick around though.

Yeah, the older imp had broken him out of prison and talked about hiring Moxxie at his new startup. But he also hadn’t mentioned anything about being connected to Hell’s royal families.

Then again, Moxxie hadn’t mentioned his mafia family. He really didn’t want to either. He’d be just fine if his dad thought he died in the prison riot they’d caused during the escape. He could disappear in Pride and leave his own fucked up family behind. Blitzø and presumably Stolas were grateful for his help. Even if he didn’t want to work for them in the end, they probably wouldn’t just kick him to the curb. He wasn’t good at making deals. Crimson hadn’t let him join any important talks yet. But maybe he could leverage some cash out of the pair before finding his own way.

That would have to wait for the morning at earliest. From the sounds of it, Stolas was very enthusiastic about keeping their “appointment” tonight. With at least a glimmer of a plan, Moxxie finished washing and started digging through the clothes. There were a lot of t shirts, tanks, and leather pants. Skinny fit pants at that. Almost all the shirts had some sort of horse design; from one that said “Wild Horse” in messy red letters to one with a trio of sparkly pastel horses rearing under a full moon. Eventually he found a button down with a tailcoat that was pretty close to his normal clothes. It wouldn’t be tailored perfectly but it would do for the morning. For the night he found pajama pants with a horseshoe pattern that he didn’t mind sleeping in. He wasn’t about to sleep nude in a room with a horny couple he barely knew one wall away.

“All yours sir.” Blitzø was flopped on the couch, having finished both the beers and cheese. He was working his way through beer number three, which he took with him to the shower. Moxxie rummaged through the fridge, finding not only what Blitzø had mentioned but the makings of sandwiches and a container of soup. A little more digging around the miniature kitchen and he found various dry goods that would make a decent meal. By the time Blitzø came back he was plating the spaghetti with cheese sauce he’d made. He topped it off with some chopped up fried chicken for some added protein. He made a sizable batch; he doubted a cheese wedge and beer was enough for Blitzø.

Blitzø himself emerged from the bathroom, dressed in horse print boxers (which didn’t hide his slight erection) and a fitted black tank. “Thank fuck, Stolas was right about the stink. Laundry’s gonna have fun with those jumpsuits.” His nostrils flared suddenly. “What the dick? Where’d you get all this Mox?” His eyes were shining at the food and Moxxie could swear he was drooling.

“In your kitchen sir. There’s plenty of dry ingredients for easy meals, probably so you don’t have to disturb the main kitchen during your… ‘appointments.’ I would have liked some mushrooms or fresh herbs for flavoring, the ground and dried ones just don’t quite measure up but I can understand the maid not wanting to have too much perishable food here if your stays aren’t consistent. In any case making a bechamel sauce is fairly simple, it is one of the mother sauces after all and the cheese was perfect for melting into it. I did cheat with the chicken and used the microwave but it works out since there’s not too much cookware here either-“

“Wait wait wait. You made this?” Moxxie nodded. Blitzø yanked open the door and yelled “FLOOF CHECK THIS SHIT OUT MOXXIE CAN COOK!”

There was an undignified squawk before the owl demon cleared his throat. “I hope this is more impressive than the ‘ghetto nachos’ you presented me with.” He had to dip his head to enter the room but once he was in the ceiling was high enough that he didn’t quite brush it with his crest feathers. “Oh! Oh my! That looks delightful! And it smells excellent.” He closed his bottom set of eyelids and inhaled deeply.

“Hey! Ghetto nachos are damn tasty.”

“I’m not saying they aren’t but microwaving processed cheese slices onto tortilla chips does not count as cooking. This on the other hand,” the prince opened his eyes, a pleased expression that had nothing to do with sensuality on his face. “This is incredible. Do I detect some mustard added to the bechamel?”

Moxxie hadn’t expected anyone to notice. “Yes, your highness. With the chicken already being breaded, I felt it would compliment nicely.” He’d never been able to talk to anyone about cuisine before. Everyone at his father’s house had laughed at him. Maybe his mom would have liked to talk about it…

“Please, call me Stolas in private. Might I try a taste?” Moxxie twirled noodles around a fork, making sure both meat and sauce were included. Stolas savored the bite, his eyes closing and his feathers fluffing up. “As delicious as I hoped. As I’ve had dinner already, I won’t keep you from such a well made meal.” He nuzzled the base of Blitzø’s horn before bowing out of the room. “I’ll be waiting Blitzyyyyy.”

Blitzø was already diving headfirst into his plate. “Christ on a stick Moxxie, this is amazing. And that’s not just a week of prison food talking.” How he could taste anything shoveling his food in his mouth that fast, Moxxie didn’t know. He did notice that Blitzø was eating with more enthusiasm than at any other meal they’d shared.

Before Moxxie had more than half his portion, Blitzø was slurping down the last noodle.”That was great, thanks Mox.” He dumped dishes into the sink. Stifling a yawn, he headed back to the master suite. “Make yourself comfortable. Sheets should be clean.” That lascivious grin came back. “Unless watching is the kinda shit you’re into. Stolas’ bed’s big enough for all of us if you feel like joining.” Moxxie nearly choked on his pasta.

A/N: I hope everyone enjoys this! The fic is in process and currently around 25k words so there’s a lot more coming. Next part will open up with NSFW content, heads up.

Next>

[xco-sm]

With Great Power Comes Love?

Style Fanfic (Stan x Kyle)

AU: Spiderman Stan and Fake Dating

*They are 16-17!!*

*Characters do not belong to me, they belong to Trey Parker and Matt Stone! I own the story!

*Do not publish this story anywhere else without my consent!

This is part 1 of my new fic! I hope you guys enjoy it so far and I can't wait to get chapter 1 out for you all! Any ideas and/or feedback is welcome and will be taken into consideration! I will publish this on ao3 once it is completely finished!

TW! Slurs! TW!

Prologue

Up North of Denver, Colorado, is a town called South Park and there lived a teenage boy named Stan Marsh. He has jet black, messy greasy hair and dark blue almond shaped eyes. Most would say he’s just a basic guy with a classic group of friends: Kyle, Kenny, and Cartman. As well as a typical family of four, including parents Randall and Sharon Marsh and his older sister, Shelly. 

No one would ever suspect that he was the hero that saves their small little town from the crimes that happen. The one they call Spiderman.

Like every other Spiderman in different universes, Stan was bitten by a radioactive spider. He struggled to learn his newly formed powers and adapt them to his everyday life. However, it was made much easier by his super best friend, Kyle Brofloski. 

The pair had been friends since diapers and had been glued to the hip since. Most people would say they are a bit funny… However, they both couldn’t care less about what others thought of them.

Now most Spider-Man's origin stories are all different and unique. Stan’s was definitely unique…

“Ouch! Awe sick dude,” Stan complained with pain. 

He was currently on the ground of a forest (why were they there? Don’t ask) after he ate shit from what Cartman would later call “a pathetic bitch fall.” The boy was pushing his upper body up from the ground when all of a sudden his ass felt like it was getting poked at by hundreds of mosquitos. “Fucking shit, I think a bug just bit my butt dude.”

The other boys all gave a face of disgust and instead of helping the one who fell, they simply started laughing. All except Kyle. “It was probably an ant dude, not a big deal. Now get off the floor, there could be dog shit for all we know.” Kyle walked closer to Stan in case he needed aid.

“No, you don’t get it, it actually fucking hurts dude. I think I might die or something. Can someone check?”

Everyone went completely silent at what Stan just said. It lingered on for at least three more minutes until Cartman practically yelled, “Kyle, you do it, he’s your faggy boyfriend.” Kyle simply rolled his eyes in annoyance and crouched down to where Stan was now rubbing his backside in pain. “I’m sure it’s not bad, I’ll help you get up so we can take you to your place so your mom can check it out.” 

“No! Like I think it was a spider, please check,” Stan pleaded with an obvious pout that would’ve worked if he was still 8, but he wasn’t, he was now reaching the age of 17. 

“Fine, take your pants off.”

Another silence took over the four boys, but instead of minutes going bye, seconds loomed over them. This time it was the blonde of the group to break the silence with a loud and what Kyle would say an obnoxious laugh. Cartman soon joined after spewing something about ‘how fucking gay’ Kyle was. Stan was groaning in frustration and slight pain. “You guys are so annoying Jesus.” He pinched his nose bridge and sighed. 

“No, you two are. It’s sickening hearing you guys make out all the time,” Cartman snorted out amidst his laughter. “ I really don’t want to have to see you guys have sex now, at least get a room.” Kenny nodded in agreement before opening up, “I can’t believe I’m about to witness Stan and Kyle have sex before I turn 18. Like bro that’s crazy-”

“Oh my GOD! TAKE YOUR FUCKING PANTS OFF JESUS.” yelled out an enraged Kyle.

“At least take the poor boy to dinner for Kahl,” Eric mocked, holding onto Kenny during another laughing fit. Stan rolled his eyes for what felt like the millionth time tonight and stood up and walked behind a tree. He motioned for Kyle to follow him to check out the bite and Kyle rushed over to help. 

“Sorry for yelling man, you know I’m not mad at you right?” Kyle said as he waited for the other boy to finish lowering his pants down enough to where the bite had occurred. “Yeah, I know, now check please because I swear if I die because of a stupid bug, I might as well go to hell.” Kyle shook his head and started checking.

It wasn’t unnatural for the pair to do something like this as they have always changed in front of the other. There’s even been times in sleepovers (they won’t admit they still have sleepovers, but they do) where one, typically Kyle, is taking a shower and talks to the other, typically Stan, while he’s doing his business on the toilet. It’s always been the norm for them to be this comfortable around the other, so Kyle was unfazed by practically looking at his best friend’s ass checks. 

“Well? Anything?” Stan prompted impatiently. Kyle stood up to face his friend and shook his head, “Nah man, it doesn’t seem like anything bit you to leave a mark. Maybe it was just your head fucking with you to think you got bit?”

Stan groaned and put his pants back up while walking back to the other two, and shortly after followed the red-head. “Hey guys, gotta bounce! Marj gets to have people over today!” Kenny expressed excitedly. “See you losers later!” He waved out to the group before running off to the girl’s house. Cartman started complaining about something before he said, “I am not waiting around to see you all making out again, I am out!” With that, he left the boys alone in the woods going off to God knows where. 

Kyle and Stan ended up back at Stan’s place after they were rudely abandoned, according to Stan, by their so-called friends. “No, you don’t get it. It was a masterpiece created by God or something dude.” Stan exclaimed. They were talking about Transformers again even though Kyle had already expressed how uninterested he was. “Like it has everything you could ever want. Bumblebee, robots turning into sweet cars, Megan Fox, and I don’t know if I mentioned but Bumblebee! You cannot not be interested in a cool ass movie like this.”

Kyle rolled his eyes while getting comfortable on Stan’s bed sighing at his friends' antics. “Look, it is a cool movie I won’t lie, but I’m just not into it like you are. Not really my thing to be honest with you.” Stan dramatically gasped at Kyle before getting up and crossing his arms. 

“But- but- Bumblebee!”

“Are you gay for Bumblebee or something?”

“Who wouldn’t be?”

Kyle’s eyebrow arched as he chuckled at his friend. “Dude, that a fucking robot. What weird shit are you on?” Stan groaned playfully and dismissed the red-head with a wave of his hand. “Whatever, I’m going to the restroom, I’ll be back.” Kyle hummed in response and went back onto his phone messaging his mom that he would be staying the night at Stan’s place. 

A couple minutes passed and Stan still hadn’t come out of the restroom, concerning Kyle. He got up and walked to the bathroom where he heard Stan yelp in fear. “Shit shit. How do I get this shit off oh my godddddd.”

Kyle’s face shows concern and he raises his hand to knock on the door, “Dude? Are you okay there?” From the outside, Kyle can hear things being dropped and what sounded like marble breaking. “Stan? What’s going on in there?”

“Um… promise not to be mad?”

“What did you do…?”

“It wasn’t me I swear! I couldn’t get it off of me! It was crazy because like someone had to have put glue on it or something. Also everything feels so much more weird like I feel taller you know? What if I’m dead and you-”

Kyle groaned and opened the restroom door to see Stan frozen still trying to pick up a broken toilet seat and a mess all over the restroom floor. Stan looked like he had been sweating from the activities going on in the restroom and almost as if he was going to start crying. Kyle got on the floor with Stan and started helping him clean the mess so it can go back to how it was before Stan’s parents got back home. 

“How did you even manage to get this stuck to your ass dude?” Kyle looked over to the blue eyed boy. He wasn’t too surprised by this, due to shit going on like this in this damn town all the time. However, it was weirder because as they had gotten older, odd stuff slowly stopped happening to them. “I don’t know if I’m honest, and now that I’m looking at it there doesn’t seem to be any glue on the seat. Ugh this is the worst.”

As Stan reached over to throw the piece of marble in the trash, he found that he couldn’t seem to let go of the piece. He shook his hand in an attempt to shake it away but found it did nothing to help him. The boy started getting scared and waved over to his friend who was putting things back to where they belong. “Dude! This is what I’m talking about. Look!”

Kyle turned and his eyes widened in surprise at the scene before him. He almost had to do a double take before putting whatever was left in his hands down. Kyle went over to where Stan was and got ahold of the marble trying to get it off Stan’s hands. “Let it go! What the hell.”

“I already tried too! I physically cannot let it go, what the hell is wrong with me.” Stan smashed his hand down to the floor and to no avail did it unstuck itself. Kyle watched his friend struggle with the toilet seat and decided to see if there was some kind of glue, he grabbed another small piece and threw it in the trash. This gave Kyle all the information he needed to know.

The red-head got closer to Stan and put his hands on the noirette’s shoulders. Stan looked up at Kyle in confusion stating, “Dude, what are you doing?” Kyle rolled his eyes and stared at Stan before speaking, “Don’t you see what’s going on? You said you got bit by something in the forest right? Now let’s say it was a spider…”

“Oh my god, I’m like Spiderman! Dude, that's awesome!” Stan waved his hands up in excitement and like magic the marble fell out of his hands. The two boys started jumping up in excitement as they shouted out all different kinds of things that only made sense for the two of them. 

“Dude! You’re just like Andrew Garfield!” Kyle spouted calming the other, with newly found powers, boy. Stan shook his head and put his arm around Kyle’s shoulder with a narrator-like voice he said, 

“No. I’m your friendly neighborhood Spiderman.”

[tala-bez-i]

At first sight Chapter Two

(m!reader x Bonten!Haruchiyo Sanzu)  

Fluff/slash/reader is male/cursing/BontenTimeline/drugs and alcohol mentioned/violence/blood/death

Haruchiyo Sanzu, Haitani brothers, Shuji Hanma and Kisaki Tetta belong to Ken Wakui.  

Words: 3119

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The music was very loud, rhythmic and encouraged dancing. Colorful lights pulsated to the rhythm, sweeping across the entire room and people. When you reappeared in the dance hall of the nightclub, you got the impression that there were even more people than there were before. It seemed like no one had any idea about the events that had transpired just a few minutes ago. Even the employees didn't seem affected. 

You walked towards the bar confidently, there was almost no one there. Everyone obviously had a good time on the dance floor. The bartender immediately approached you. 

“What can I get you?” he asked in a calm tone, smiling slightly. He was handsome, and there was a shiny gold wedding ring on his finger - not an everyday sight in a place like this, but maybe Mr. Sato didn't want bartenders to trick customers into buying more and more drinks. You were sure that this would change soon, and the bartender would either have to adapt or look for a new job. 

“Pass the strongest drink you serve.” you replied calmly and sat down on the stool. 

 “Rough night?” the bartender tried to ask while pouring alcohol. 

 “No.” you lied smoothly. “I like to feel like I'm drinking alcohol when I order it, not juice.” 

 The man laughed softly and handed you a drink. “Here you go, boss.” 

You thanked him and started sipping your drink. It was strong, but not exaggerated. That was fine with you - you shouldn't get drunk right now, even though it was very tempting. You felt like you deserved to drink yourself into unconsciousness that night. 

You turned sideways to the bar and started watching people dancing. Hardly, when you went onto the dance floor, you always preferred to watch others having fun. Several girls and women noticed you and, sensing the possibility of any profit, they began to move more seductively, tempting you with their shapely bodies. You took another sip of your drink, wondering if the girl who bumped into you earlier was still at the club. Not that you'd change your mind, but now that the shooting and drugs had somehow turned Sanzu on to more aggressive actions... It would definitely be better if she went home. You didn't want innocent people to be harmed. 

You drank your drink in one gulp and signaled to the bartender that you wanted another one. Just as you were about to reach for a new drink, your eyes landed on a young girl who was obviously heading towards you. However, she didn't leave the club like you hoped she would. You mentally cursed and just when you decided that as soon as she came to you, you would talk some sense into her, when she stopped with a horrified face and quickly retreated deeper into the dance hall. You furrowed your eyebrows in surprise and... 

“Second drink already? Do you want to get drunk?” you heard Sanzu's pensive yet amused voice. However, the girl had some sense left in her. 

“Did you immediately follow me, or did Ran tell you to keep an eye on me?” you asked quietly, taking a sip of the alcohol. 

 "Fifty fifty." he replied, sitting next to you on the bar stool. 

 You looked at him. "You do not have to worry. I'll be fine in a moment." 

 “In a moment or in a few drinks?” he looked at you with dispassionate eyes. 

 “What difference does it make? It will work out for one thing.” you shrugged and took another sip of alcohol. 

He looked at you as if he wanted to say something more, but he sighed and turned his head towards the dancing people. He was watching them carefully and you were sure he was looking around for some prey out of habit. Sanzu had that twinkle in his eyes that meant he wanted to have some fun. Basically, the only thing that stopped him was his poor knowledge of the layout of the nightclub's rooms. But his subconscious was certainly making plans in his head on how to arrange each space in this place and perhaps where new rooms could be built. All, of course, provided that Tetta decides not to sell the club. 

You drank another drink and looked back at the bartender to order another one. 

 “Maybe that's enough? Remember that you are the driver.” the pink-haired one said without even looking at you. 

 “Unwritten contract. Keep an eye on your powders.” you reached under the bar counter and pulled out a bottle of some alcohol. 

“Are you robbing a bar?” Sanzu looked at you with a raised eyebrow. There was a note of some concern in his voice. 

 “The place is ours, so it's not theft.” you replied quietly and looked at the label on the bottle - vodka. "May be." you muttered and poured yourself a glass before making a gesture towards Sanzu. "You want?" 

There was uncertainty in his eyes, but after a split second he chuckled and reached under the counter for a clean glass, setting it next to yours. "Let it be." 

You poured him some alcohol, remembering that your companion had a weaker head than you, and that he was already under the influence of other drugs. You made a silent toast and drank the contents of your glass in one go without even wincing. 

Sanzu kept his eyes on you and drank some vodka. He grimaced slightly and put the glass down. 

 You bit the inside of your cheek lightly and took the bottle in your hand again, intending to pour yourself another glass of alcohol. 

“That's enough, Y/n. You are our driver, hell, the rest of us still have unfinished work.” Sanzu muttered with a frown and took the bottle from you. 

You looked at him again, feeling your anger begin to rise within you. You didn't take his drugs when he wanted another dose, so he had no right to take your alcohol, right? 

 “Shut up, Sanzu.” you said quietly. “Fuck off.” 

 You wanted to say something else, but suddenly there was some kind of sadness in his eyes, catching you off guard. 

"You are mad at me?" he asked, quietly enough that despite the loud music, only you could hear him. 

 You wanted to snap at him, but... you actually had no reason to. Taking one bottle is nothing. You could always grab another one. You stared at his face, which was constantly being swept by beams of colorful light. You looked down for a moment, feeling your anger lessen. 

“No. I'm not mad at you, Haru.” you replied after a moment and looked back into his face. “You haven't given me a reason to be mad at you…yet.” 

 “Hanma will be mad if you get drunk and freak out again.” 

“Freak out?” you growled. “It was one incident. Besides, Hanma knows that I drink when I'm angry. Then I was provoked. The dude was asking to be beat up.” 

“He was asking for a punch, not a bullet in the head.” he placed his hand like a gun and tapped you lightly on the head with his fingers. “Do you want him to yell at you again when he finds out you once again aimed at someone's head?” 

“He'll find out anyway, the bodies are still there.” you replied quietly, pushing away his raised hand. “And I wasn't aiming for the head... it was a reflex, like covering your mouth when you sneeze.” 

 “Fuck, and they say I'm the crazy one.” he laughed quietly. 

 “Go fuck yourself.” 

“Maybe later. All this doesn't change the fact that Hanma will be angry. You know he doesn't like people getting drunk while doing assignments.” he sighed and shook his head. “I don't even want to know how Kisaki will comment on all this.” 

“I don’t fucking care.” 

“Don't underestimate them, Y/n.” Sanzu looked at you with a serious face and you shook your head and shrugged. 

“I left there to have a drink in peace and forget about that bitch for a while.” you stood up from the stool and coughed once. “Believe me, if I had stayed there, I would have blown her head off before Hanma showed up to interrogate her.” 

He raised an eyebrow. “That bitch?” he thought for a moment "You don't mean... you really hate this Mina girl that much...?" 

“She aimed the gun at you and pull the trigger.” 

He sighed and shook his head. “You’re a real idiot... You really think you could have taken out that girl by yourself? What if she had pulled the trigger before you got there...? She would have killed both of us.” He finished off his drink and stand up. 

You wanted to deny it, but Sanzu patted you on the back and gently pushed you towards the hall leading to the office at the back of the building. 

“Hey, it’s okay. I know she almost shot me. But we got out of that situation in one piece...” he smiled reassuringly at you. 

“Yeah... I am an idiot. “ - your idiot. “But if you died... I’d rather be dead myself.” you said quietly walking back to the office. 

He looked at you for a moment, stunned. He didn’t expect such honest response from you. “You really would do that...?” 

“Bonten is like family for me. Twisted and sick, but still... I joined this organization because of you, Sanzu.” 

He smiled softly and put his arm around your shoulders. “I didn’t know you felt that way. But I don’t want you to die because of me.” he squeezed your shoulder slightly. 

“I am not kidding, Haru.” you looked at him with eyes darkened by anger. “If that bitch had killed you, I would killed her and then myself.” 

Sanzu seemed a bit startled by your sudden anger, but he just nodded. “I believe you. You wouldn’t let anything happen to me. And I would do the same thing for you.” 

You looked down and tripped over a protruding edge of the carpet. You quickly regained your balance, feeling your face become warm. You cursed quietly as you heard Sanzu chuckle. 

“You’re a mess. You can barely stand...” 

“I'm fine.” you pursed your lips slightly and straightened your tie. “I will sober up in a moment and there will be no trace that I drank.” you looked at the treacherous carpet and corrected the crease with your foot. “Let's go back to the office. Hanma should be already there.” 

Sanzu sighed loudly and nodded. “Alright, let's go. But you better get some rest after we finish work..." 

 You ignored him and headed to the office, knowing the pink haired man would follow you. 

“I don't understand how you can think you can work in this state.” he sighed again. 

“And this is coming from a person who takes drugs almost all time. I only drink alcohol.” 

You felt his burning gaze on you. “Are you saying that I'm a lightweight?” 

“You are.” you looked at him over your shoulder. “I can drink a lot more than you. Fuck, I can drink more than Rindou.” 

 You heard Sanzu start muttering some curses at you. “Hey, your body is loaded with drugs. You don’t need a lot of alcohol to fall flat on your face.” 

He rolled his eyes. “I’m not that weak. I can hold my liquor just fine.” he scoffed “And don’t act like you know anything about me!” 

You ignored his little outburst, knowing that it was his body starting to demand another dose of the drug. 

 Sanzu was silent for a moment, but after a few seconds he spoke quietly. “Are you mad at me?” 

“No. I still don’t have a reason to be mad at you, Haru. You often overdo things, but I’m never mad at you.” 

He smiled softly at you. “You know, I never thought you would be so caring... Most people are scared of me or just ignore me.” 

You stopped on the steps and looked at him. “You can't be ignored. You’re too good at attracting attention.” 

He chuckled and looked away to hide blush. “I... Well...” 

“You know that you have my attention all the time when I am near you, right?” 

“Yeah, I had noticed that... You have my attention as well.” 

You nodded, making a serious face. “We are partners, so we should watch our backs.” 

Sanzu chuckled. “We should. But... I’m still a bit confused why you care about me so much...” 

You looked at him in silence, thinking. “You are very important to me, Haru. Let’s say... It is something similar to your bond with Mikey.” 

“I... I see...” he nodded and looked at his feet. You could almost hear the gears turning in his pretty head. “So… can I call it friendship?” 

 "Of course. You cover me, I cover you. Friendship." Fuck... you're not going to tell him now... You nodded and moved on. 

You arrived at the office door in silence, and you placed your hand on the doorknob. You almost didn't feel the effects of drinking alcohol anymore. Sometimes the fact that your body was able to cope with drinking quickly was like a curse... "Let's get this meeting over with..." 

You opened the door and went inside. Hanma was already there, and with one look at Mina's tear-stained face, you knew the interrogation had already taken place. The atmosphere was slightly tense. 

“Hey... We’re back.” Haru sighed and walked over to tall, slim man. “Did she say anything interesting yet?” 

Hanma looked at you with a dispassionate expression. He looked tired, but you didn't know if it was because of the situation or more because of you. 

 “Ran said what happened.” he said calmly. “I'd love to hear your side, L/n.” 

You scratched your cheek with your finger and sighed softly. “The guy tried to bribe us with a whore, but we politely refused.” you shrugged “Ran received the documents Kisaki wanted, and everything was going to end happily for us... but then Sato and his bodyguards pulled out their guns. It turned out that this lovely lady was in cahoots with the club owner.” 

Hanma raised one eyebrow. “It's not necessarily the version Miss Mina told me.” he said thoughtfully. “Apparently you were very rude to her from the very beginning, L/n.” 

Your blood boils. “I dealt with her a few years ago. We haven't liked each other since then.” you said coldly and looked at the girl with hatred. "She opened fire first, trying to blow Sanzu's head off." 

“Oh?” A smile began to bloom on Hanma's thin face. “She wanted to kill Sanzu? And you, like a good dog, decided to defend your master, hmm?” 

 Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Sanzu turned his head towards you. You fought the urge to make eye contact with him, keeping your eyes on the tall man. 

“They wanted to deceive us and mock Bonten.” you said quietly. “They got what they deserved.” 

Shuji's smile never left his face as he looked around the room, loudly counting the bodies. “Looks like someone's missing here.” He turned back to the girl. “Where's Sato?” 

No response came from Mina. Her eyes stared at Hanma as if trying to guess his next move. 

He smiled at her and grabbed her chin, squeezing it lightly. “Come on, beautiful. Just tell us what we want to know, and we'll let you go home.” he said in a gentle tone, still smiling slightly. 

Your heart sank for a moment. You hoped it was just a bluff... although with Hanma you never knew. On the one hand, he was able to kill entire families without blinking an eye, and on the other, he took pity on people who later cooperated in return. 

You watched as he wiped away the girl's tears with a gentle movement of his thumb, speaking to her in the soft tone of someone concerned about her fate. 

You grimaced in disbelief and looked at Sanzu. He was still staring at you with an unreadable expression on his face, which made you hear Hanma's recent words in your head - like a good dog, you decided to defend your master. You looked away as you felt your face start to get warm. 

“Ah, thank you Miss Mina.” Hanma said, brushing the hair out of the girl's face. He released her chin and rose from his crouch. “This is very useful information. We have long suspected that Sato had a hideout there.” 

“Should we let her go now?” Ran asked, setting down his empty drink glass. 

Hanma straightened his jacket and answered him in a calm tone, without a trace of a smile on his handsome face. There was an unpleasant coldness in his golden eyes. “In my opinion, there is only one solution for her and former club owner. We all know what I mean. "I don't want any witnesses." 

 “Only we will know about it.” Rindou said as he looked closely at the hard drive and dismantled camera. 

Hanma drew his gun calmly. “Don't hold it against me, darling. You made this decision yourself by siding with Sato.” 

Mina began to insult him and the entire Bonten. 

Shuji smiled again, cocked his gun and aimed it at the girl's head. “Oh, come on. You're a big girl and you knew how this would end." 

“Go fuck yourself, Hanma!” she screamed furiously, and the man pulled the trigger. The bullet pierces through her head, killing her instantly. “What a shame…” 

There was a brief silence in the room, then Ran got up from his chair and stretched. “What do we do with the bodies?” 

Hanma secured the gun and hid it under his jacket. “We will get rid of them in the traditional way. There are a few boys with me, we will take care of everything.” 

“Do you need help?” Sanzu asked, looking at the dead bodies of the security guards. 

"No. Go back to your homes and don't get into trouble.” he looked carefully at everyone, but the longest at you. “No freaking out and I want you back at the base in 24 hours. We will have to organize a meeting and discuss everything.” He smiled and extended his hand towards you. “Don't worry, Y/n. Kisaki won't be mad about the damaged wallpapers. I promise.” he joked, and you shook his hand goodbye. 

You left the office behind the Haitani brothers and Sanzu . You wondered if Hanma was actually joking or if some amount would be deducted from your salary. Your eyes were fixed on the pink-haired boy's back - like a good dog. 

<PREVIOUS/NEXT>

[anghraine]

Long, rambling, general post (with some detours into Austen + SW):

I find the academic obsession with novelty (at least in my field) rather irritating and in some ways actively harmful. But I've been thinking about it as I work on my dissertation, and there is an underlying concept I do find important.

Over here, I'm pretty content to scream my opinions at no one in particular, and have fun if people end up (courteously) answering back. But while there are commonalities between fandom meta practices and academia, a major difference (again, at least in my field) is that in academia, you essentially have to familiarize yourself with the wider community and discourse, and engage with it.

In literature, at least, it's important that you're not just reaching interpretations in a functional vacuum—interpretations that may well have been reached and argued thoroughly and well before. If you've got something fresh to contribute to the overall conversation, okay—maybe you basically agree with another interpretation but feel it could be expanded upon or there are some nuances that got missed. But the conversation doesn't particularly benefit from people just echoing the exact some interpretations over and over without adding or modifying them at all.

To put it another way, not everyone needs to (or should) cover every interpretation they agree with. This is not exactly literary criticism's reputation, but it's fundamentally social. Not everyone needs to do everything. Different people can and should cover different ground, and the general discussion benefits from this.

But this post isn't really about academia.

I think there's some real value in this idea that not everyone needs to be seen to repeat every correct take, or every take they agree with. Sometimes you're not really equipped to add anything. Sometimes you're not the best judge of a particular issue because it's not in your ballpark. Sometimes the ground has been so thoroughly covered in wider social discourse that you don't really need to add to it.

And I think this is especially important when it comes to the Internet firehose. People essentially repeating the same thing over and over and over without adding anything significant is a major way that ideas—including mistaken ideas—spread so quickly. Sometimes it's fairly inane jokes that become inescapable for an OP or within a fandom or whatever (book Isildur fans unite!). Sometimes it's mistaken or irrelevant corrections that someone/some people get bombarded with because no one bothers to check if the corrections have been made already. Sometimes it's the same reply ad nauseam, which quickly becomes intensely irritating while adding nothing. Sometimes it's worse than that—wrongheaded or exaggerated attacks on someone's character that get launched at the person incessantly, or active disinformation.

But basically, I think it's worth considering the shape of the overall discussion when you're considering what you specifically are going to contribute to it, if anything. Sometimes this is very serious. Sometimes it's a minimal consideration for others and for your impact on the general atmosphere in a fandom or some other social context.

For instance: back in 2005, when the Keira Knightley/Matthew Macfadyen Pride and Prejudice came out, my part of Austen fandom was having absolute conniptions over it. Some of this was over literally any adaptation of P&P ever being made after the 1995 mini-series (especially anyone else ever playing Darcy). Some of this was over claims that the 2005 P&P was generally more Brontë than Austen. Some of it had to do with particular contractions, or certain depictions of characters, jokes, aesthetics, dialogue, etc. I remember very serious articles about how it was a flash in the pan that would soon disappear from cultural consciousness (lol).

I actually share a number of the criticisms, as it happens! But I thought (and still think) that the collective outrage was ... excessive, at best. So I mostly didn't talk about my personal gripes because they already seemed to disproportionately dominate the conversation (to me, etc), and I didn't want to add to it. But it interests me that people have sometimes assumed that not personally adding to the griping about it means that I love it (and often, that I need to be corrected from doing so!). The same thing happens with particular ships or dynamics I don't like but don't want to add to discourse about.

I've definitely erred in the other direction. I used to talk quite a bit more about my criticisms of the Star Wars prequels, for instance, which I later regretted despite still having those criticisms. The fandom rage was just so over the top and everything covered so exhaustively and excessively by others that it (very belatedly) started to feel like adding to it was kind of like kicking a dog.

On the flipside, sometimes the firehose is pointed the opposite way from my personal opinion, and even if that opinion is just a mousy little cheep amidst the roar of approval/disapproval, voicing it seems more appropriate to me than joining a stampede of disproportionate hatred. Or sometimes the general discourse is pretty mixed and you just have to exercise judgment about your role in it (I've definitely gone for "I see a lot of debate on this point and hell with it, I get a place in the ring, too").

But in any case, I think that the pressure to be seen to have a take all the time and the assumptions made about people if they don't individually weigh in on ... basically everything is really misguided. We're social creatures! Sometimes ground has already been thoroughly covered. Sometimes it's been covered far too much. And I think stopping to think of what we're really adding, even when we're not plodding through reviews of the literature in academia, can be worth attempting.

[blakeswritingimagines]

Kink list with Gross Best Friend! Jacaerys Velaryon

Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Aftercare is something that is not on his radar. He's all for the fun and excitement in the moment, but once it's all over and done with, he's ready to move on. He may make a passing joke or two in order to keep it light, but overall, he doesn't really care about how the other person feels afterward. It's all about the present and the experience, not about the aftermath or consequences. That said, he wouldn't go out of his way to harm someone either. It's just not a priority after the fact.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His favorite body part of his is his ass. He's worked hard to maintain a shapely and firm figure, and it's something he's very proud of. When it comes to his partners, he doesn't have a particular favorite part, but he does really enjoy seeing you in all your glory. That means being able to appreciate all of your body parts equally.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

He might make a suggestion or two, but ultimately it's your decision where you want him to cum. He'll try to be respectful of others' preferences and boundaries, and if that means keeping his own thoughts to himself, then so be it. Besides, it may be more fun to find out what you want in the moment rather than having it planned out ahead of time. That's all part of the adventure!

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He has many dirty, kinky secrets. So let me just give you a few of them. He's obsessed with leather and lace and enjoys wearing them together. He loves to play games and role-play with you, and he doesn't mind giving up control and letting someone else be in charge if that's what you want. He's also a big fan of lingerie and enjoys seeing how creative people can be with that.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

He's very experienced, and he likes to think that he knows what he's doing. He is desperate a firm believer in having an open mind and exploring different things in the bedroom. Even if something isn't necessarily his cup of tea, He's more than willing to give it a go and see how it goes. He's always up for trying new positions and experimenting with different techniques. Ultimately, it's all about having fun and embracing one's inner pervert for him.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

* Missionary - for the sense of intimacy and closeness it provides.

* Cowgirl - for the level of control it gives him over you.

* Spooning - for the feeling of comfort and safety it creates or just the fact he can't help himself.

* Doggy - for the raw, primal nature of the position.

Ultimately, he doesn't have one single favorite position, but several that he enjoys and keeps in rotation.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

He is both serious and humorous in the moment. He takes pleasure in what he's doing, but he also doesn't take himself too seriously. He is always up for making you laugh, whether it is with a snide comment or a dirty joke. It all comes down to reading the room and adapting his approach accordingly.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

If he didn't keep himself well-groomed, he'd still be the same gross, perverted best friend he always is. Sure, it may not be as easy to clean up or look at down there when there's not always a thought behind his eyes but he tries.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…) 

The romantic aspect during "the moment" isn't his top priority. He would rather focus on the physical and sensual aspects of the situation and let the romance come naturally if it does. He is definitely not someone who feels the need to have roses and chocolates present before having a good time in bed.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

He is simply motivated by his own desires and needs and doesn't really feel the need to create a narrative around the act. He sees it as a way to relieve stress, satisfy his urges, and have a good time on his own. It is his private, personal time and he doesn't really need to create a story around it. He simply does what feels good and enjoys the release it provides.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

* Dominance and Submission

* Bondage and Discipline

* Spanking

* Anal Play

* Group fun

* Body Worship

* Humiliation and Degradation

* Voyeurism and Exhibitionism

* Pegging

* Cross Dressing

* Femdom and Male Submissive Play

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

* Home sweet home

* Hotels or vacation rentals

* Outdoors in nature

* Public places

* Office break room

* Public bathrooms

* Car

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

* Sensual touch and caressing

* Passionate kissing and tongue flirting

* Dirty talk and teasing

* Sexy outfits

* Being in the moment and engaging in the action

* Exploring new and different things (positions, styles, techniques, etc)

He's a literal desperate horndog, the wind hits him and he's hard and you could just ask to have sex and he's ready.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs)

* Being judgmental and/or cruel with your words or actions

* Lack of communication, especially when it comes to expectations

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

It is hard to pick just one that is best because they are all fun in their own way. If he had to choose, it being on the receiving end is his favorite, simply because it allows him to relax and enjoy the pleasure being given to him. He is always willing to switch things up now and again and give you a taste of your own medicine.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

He can be both fast and rough or slow and sensual, depending on his mood and the situation. For him, it's all about having fun and being in the moment. Sometimes, he wants to let loose and be rough and wild, while other times, he wants to be more tender and gentle. Sometimes, he wants to go fast and get right to it, while other times, he wants to take things slow and enjoy the ride. Life is too short to only have one kind of sex.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

He is a big fan of quickies. There's nothing quite like a spontaneous mid-day romp to spice up your day. Quickies can be fun and exciting, as they leave you wanting more and give you a little taste of what's to come. He enjoys them often and think they should be part of his everyday life. However, he also believes in having "proper sex" at appropriate times.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

He is all for experimenting and taking risks. He believes that life is too short to be stuck in your comfort zone or follow the same routine all the time. He is open-minded and willing to try new things, especially when it comes to sex and sexuality at least wherever he can get it. He wants to explore and experiment with you to find new ways to have fun and feel pleasure. Taking some risks every now and then is worth the reward of discovering something new that you can both enjoy.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

He is not one to count how many rounds or keep track of time. For him, it is all about enjoyment and pleasure in the moment. He is not concerned with how many times you go or how long he lasts, as long as everyone is having a good time.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

He does own some toys, and he does use them from time to time with you or on his own. He enjoys the variety and spice they add to a sexual encounter, and he likes to experiment with different kinds of toys to keep things fresh and interesting. He is not shy or ashamed about using toys and seeing them as part of the experience.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Teasing can be a fun and lighthearted way to create excitement and a sense of anticipation. He often uses teasing as a way to get you in the mood and build up the desire before he finally makes a move. He derives pleasure from seeing you squirm and be unable to control yourself any longer. He'll use every trick in the book to keep you hot and bothered.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

He can be both loud and quiet during sex and it depends on the situation and his mood. In general, he's fairly vocal during sexual activity and doesn't hold back on his sounds. He expresses his pleasure and enjoyment by moaning and grunting with a whimper now and again.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

He has a few wild and dirty secrets. Here's one for you to mull over. In his spare time, he sometimes enjoys dressing up in feminine clothing and makeup and pretending to be someone he's not. This includes wigs and accessories to complete the look. He doesn't know what it is about it, but he finds it to be quite a thrill.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

I'd say it's an average of around 7 inches. However, he is not one to measure or keep track of things like this as it doesn't matter since he's normally just looking to use it in one way or another.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

His sex drive is fairly high. He enjoys sex and physical pleasure and seeks it out regularly. This includes masturbation, one-night stands, and intimate relationships with partners. He is driven to seek out and engage in sexual activity and finds it to be an important part of life.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

After a good session of horizontal tango, he finds that he can typically fall asleep quickly and easily. He is usually quite exhausted and satisfied after doing the deed and finds himself sleeping like a log almost instantly. This is especially true if it has been a while since he's last been with a partner, as the exhaustion and release of tension can be quite overwhelming. He has been known to drift off just minutes after the act, but he thinks that adds to the pleasure and satisfaction of the entire experience.

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

Wait, is it true the writers said Marinette and Gabriel are meant to represent individual creative spirit versus corporate greed?

Taken from the writer's commentary on the final two episodes

In the next scene, we can see Marinette taking the miraculous that have been standardised and industrialised by Gabriel and putting them back in shape. The writers specify that this is a parabole about craftsmanship vs industrial production. The miraculous will now be adapted to every person, but we can’t see what they look like just yet! In this new world, the powers are all shared, among people who they trust and know will work for the common good. They joke that the "Avengers" shot at the end with all the heroes is something they’d been dreaming of.

There's also that bit from her confrontation with Gabriel where he randomly acts like he's The God of Fashion (taken from S5E20):

Gabriel: I don't think you understand, child, so let me put things differently. Life is like fashion. You think you have a choice, but all you have is the illusion of choice. And I decide what choices are given to you. Marinette: You're wrong! (Shows Gabriel her sketchbook.) Fashion is about listening to people, it's about understanding who they are, what excites them and creating the clothes that will help them express their inner world. Help them connect with others and make their dreams come true. Gabriel:(Laughs and takes her sketchbook, then browses its pages.) No, that's not fashion. That's making dresses for your dolls. Fashion is a product, a marketing strategy, an industry that relies on uninterrupted trend renewal that forces you to either throw away everything you have and buy more or, worse, to be out of fashion. Thanks to the clothes I create, the celebrities who wear them, the advertisements I design and the Alliance rings that broadcast them, I create an idyllic vision. A perfection that everyone aspires to achieve, while keeping it just out of their grasp. You finally understand the difference, don't you? You listen to people's desires and create what they want. Somehow, people make you. Whereas I create people's desires. They buy what I decide to buy. They think what I want them to think. I'm the one who makes people. You think you love Adrien, but you're just under the spell of this world I've created. A world where Adrien is the star, shining high above. A world where you're just part of the crowd below looking up at him. (Shuts the sketchbook.) That is why nothing can ever happen between you two.

So, yeah, this is apparently supposed to be them talking about some kind of central theme of individual creators vs mass production? The problem is that it basically comes out of nowhere. If the writers really wanted to have this be some sort of message, then they needed to establish this a lot sooner because Marinette has had no issues with his fashion company nor has anyone else.

An example of a way to do this would be to have Marinette win the hat competition in season one, Adrien models it in season two, and then give us a series of episodes where Marinette gets to learn about the production process for her hat. She gets to see it mass produced and then gets to learn how fast fashion works and, by the end, she's no longer a fan of the fashion industry even though she still loves fashion. It would be a much better environmental message then the nonsense we've been given, too.

But the show didn't give us anything like that. We've never seen a single Gabriel brand product save for the stuff Adrien wears and the alliance rings, which are phones more than fashion accessories, so it makes sense that they'd have a uniform look. Even if phones were made to order, you wouldn't see much variety in the base product save for color. The customization on a phone is the background and the alliance lets you customize your "background" (aka your Adrien, Lila, or Kagami) as we saw in Jubilation when Socqueline was showing off her alliance.

Side note: I realized that Jubilation takes place before I started writing mini episode reviews, so I wanted to make a quick note of how creepy it is that you can customize your alliance avatar given who the avatars are. Gabriel and Tomoe seriously took their 14-year-olds and told people of all ages to treat them like dolls, which is extra creepy given how many fans Adrien has. That has some messed up in-universe implications that make me shudder. What were the writers thinking?

[blue-razzslushie]

My HL AU Rewrite: Ancient Magic [Analysis/Deep Dive] 🔥

I've been real excited to post this onto my page for a hot second. I wanted to wait until I finished getting my references drawn, since I've had art decline and was trying to focus on the MC drawings I did; and all of my ideas so far strung together to become fluid and tie together. I love doing things like this and in the future I will be adding what is written here into my art and lore As in I'm going to start making lil comics and such instead of just drawing my MC over and over. so without further ado, let's get started! !

[PLEASE NOTE: what is here isn't canon nor apart of Hogwarts Legacy or Harry Potter Lore. So if something isn't Accurate, don't attack me for it ^^]

Part 1: A Spiritual Start

So even in the Canon story of Hogwarts Legacy, we never really got a full beginning on how the magic existed in the first place. And to also be fair, I've basically had nothing as well. but I came up with a small idea of its origin, but honestly it most likely to be susceptible to change if I find any more ideas! But I would love to hear if anyone else has a good idea!

As already known, since the beginning of ancient times witches and wizards have been known to be able to act upon and hone magic. However, the soul of a witch and wizard controls how powerful and how controlled the magic is. In special cases, EXTREMELY rare, special cases; the soul of a Witch or Wizard is so strong, so powerful, they can dig further into their magic capabilities then others. Otherwise known as Ancient magic.

This magic is a bit different then the typical spells, They connect directly to the user themself. The magic adapting to the personality, emotions, quirks, and overall mindset of the individual. For example, someone who's creative that has the ancient magic ability could have the power to create structures or make their ideas come to life at the blink of an eye. . . So on so fourth. One thing I might add, These individuals practically have no control over what magic they possess. Only way it may change is if the mind of the user drastically changed over time, or evolves in any way shape or form. Since the magic is imbedded into the vessel of who posseses it, it's almost an instinctual tool.

Part 2: the Tale of 4 "Saints" and a "Sinner"

just as in the canon lore of the Keepers, they all had the ability to see and use Ancient magic. Percival Rackham, Charles Rookwood, Niamh Fitzgerald, and San Bakar all had about the same mindset, they had about the same beliefs, goals, and morals. Therefore, Their Ancient magic was about the same. They had some differences, for example Niamh Fitzgerald had a somewhat more creative personality then the others. Which further on in the game goes into when she made her unique trial in the world of a storybook. But, Nevertheless with their shared ability with ancient magic they concluded they way they used it was the only way to use it, if at all. They all had a small fear, a caution if you will about this ability apparently nobody else had. So they were cautious and very rarely used it, however. . . Remember how I said the magic is instinctually used earlier? That came in hand when they stumbled across a small hamlet enduring a drought, they had the ability to try and help. . . So why shouldn't they? They proceeded to use their magic to fix the drought, unbenouced to them a small girl was looking at them in awe. She could see what they did. . .

That girl, Isadora Morganach, came to Hogwarts late as a fifth year later on in life. And coincidentally shared the ability to see ancient magic. Once this came to the attention of the Keepers, they took her under their wing to teach her about the "Proper way" to use Ancient magic. It worked for awhile, Isadora being persuaded to think the way the keepers do, therefore producing a rather similar type of magic to the older users. This all changed after Isadora's fathers depression got worse, taking a rather big mental toll on Isadora. As previously stated, The mental health and thought process of a user of ancient magic ties into the way the magic is used. After many attempts of trying to convince the Keepers to experiment with their magic to see if they could find a way to help her father, Isadora gave up. . . And began to doubt the keepers as friends, and also in the process began doubting their beliefs, making her own in how the magic should be used.

Now with a poor and fragile mental state Isadora currently had and on top of that beginning to experiment with a uncharted and unpredictable type of magic was. . . Not a very good combination to say the least. So once she managed to make the spell to "take away pain" it wasn't as full proof as originally expected. (And as you know the spell ends up taking away ALL emotions). The lore continues as canon, The keepers fight with isadora on the use of the magic, Isadora makes the repository, experiments on students, gets killed by San Bakar. Then the keepers make the trials and safeguard the magic and yada yada Bullshit. Despite making the trials, for all of their life and hundreds of years after, they never again heard of someone who possessed the power they had. That was until a black haired child with a resting bitch face entered the Map Chamber.

Part 3: The Tragedy of a Star Child

-Star Child // Adjective

"These children are naturally gifted, intuitive, often seem naive, often struggle with over-stimulation, and have a very pure heart."

Now onto my favorite part: Addressing the magic of my MC; Rory! I tried to put as much detail as possible!! And this part has the ART REFERENCES I MADE OH YEAHHH!!!

Rory from a young age always was a bit. . .different then others. Not just with ancient magic, as well as thinking differently and having almost nothing in common with people their age. [I swear to Merlin I'm not trying to make them a "not like other girls" MC just letting y'all know!!]. While others preferred to play tag or play hopscotch on the sidewalk, Rory always preferred to be alone, Reading books or just drawing. They developed their own ancient magic ability at a young age unbenouced to them, since until they met Professor Fig they didn't even know magic really existed. But their magic acts were always small, for example being able to make their candlelight brighter if they were reading in a dark place or at night. It was small things, mainly because they had no experience or knowledge of what they were doing. This went on for years, through the family split up to the Orphanage days, all the way until Professor Fig came into their life, then everything changed.

They learned about magic, got to know a few spells themself and a few offhand things like potions and their ingredients. Then on the way to Hogwarts, The dragon attack, the Portkey container, Gringotts. . . things began to take a different turn. With the new stresses of keeping Goblins, Ashwinders, Poachers and Other creepies away. Rory's magic began to develop, evolve to help them. It became like fire, a destructive yet protective force they could use to help defend themself. The choice of fire also represents Rory's personality, Fire is frequently used to symbolize wisdom, knowledge, and power as well as the emotions of anger. Rory themself is a smart kid, and despite that they always have had severe anger issues and have been prone to flying off the handle at times. When their emotions directly effect their magic, it goes unstable. Harming and burning anything around including themself.

As shown here

When their magic is controlled, they use their wand to create Cyclone fires if you will. Like the fire attack Poacher Executors use in battle. Over the course of the year they've managed to learn to control their anger a bit better and stay calm even when under the stresses of their now daily life. As well as figure out more ways to lie to their friends when they show up to class with clothes scorched.

FightOrFlight shipping my Beloved (I finally figured out a good ship name for Imelda and Rory so YAY)

I personally have little Headcanons for Rory regarding the fire, like when they are Agitated they can "huff out" blue bits of flames or smoke, Like a comical Dragon or something. >^<

But that's all I have on my rewrite so far, PLEASE LEMME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!!! :]

[rad-o-saurus]

I AM BEGGING YOU HOW DID YOU MAKE THE CHUM MASK

I'm probably not the best to ask for costume making advice but i will do my best to explain my process as comprehensibly as possible. Luckily i took pictures during it's production!

This post is kinda long but hang in there lol

Step 1: Research

Since there is no tutorial on how to make a fish head, i had to find tutorials that deal with characters with a similar face shape and and skin type for both construction and material. Any fursuit head tutorial should be watched just to get a general feel for what you're getting into though.

(Link of playlist of video tuts i used for reference)

Step 2: Planning/Sketching/Gathering

To start i recommend taking a picture of yourself and drawing the head around it to plan where to place things like eyes and jaw (if you want a movable jaw) . It's also important to measure your head/plan out how big you want the head to actually be concretely. I adapted the design as best i could while still retaining likeness. Know exactly what your head is gonna look like before you start

EX1: Sketch for look and measurements (i had many others this is just the cleanest)

I then had to decide what material I was going to use for certain parts of the cosplay. Following the tutorials i gathered essential materials like Upholstery foam, a balaclava and elastic band for the jaw but i had to improvise for more case specific parts. The hair and teeth are made out of cardboard and the eyes are just Styrofoam balls for example. I also cheaped out a little for the skin, opting to just buy gray fabric instead of the preferred minky.

I also kept a log to track my progress, schedule myself and take notes when changes need to be made so that can be useful as well

Step 3: Production

Finally it is time to make the damn fish!!

3.1:Bucket head

I used the bucket head method (which basically just consists of wrapping a piece of foam around your head gluing it and putting a top) since it was the simplest to do.

I then cut out the necessary holes and started adding the other foam to get the shape base of the head.

I then kept adding on foam in general shaped and started sculpting it. Normally fursuit makers use a fancy saw but if you have a bread knife (serated) and a pair of good scissors you should be good to go.I also painted and paper maché-d the Styrofoam eyes at this point.

(sculpting process also for tail too)

Don't forget to try it on every once and a while to make sure everything works as it's supposed too and looks how it's supposed too (also make sure you can see because I didn't and it's very hard too see in that thing)

Ex 2: Swag

3.2: Skinning and accessories

By this point I started making the teeth and the hair which was simple enough since i've used cardboard as a material before.

The real tough part for me would be to skin the thing which required that i learn how to sew.

I first had to make a pattern which required that i wrap my precious fishy boy in duck tape and then draw out the different sections of the head for them to be sewn together later. It was definitely hard to get used to but I'm thankful that I learnt how to do it because it actually helped me better understand Uv wrapping in 3D texturing !

I did the same for the tail! (Btw if you ever decide to do this please wrap your foam base in plastic wrap because removing the duck tape otherwise is difficult and can even rip off some of your foam)

When all was done and sewn in one piece wrapped it around the head, glued the hair and started painting the details like scales and mussel as well as glue on the mesh in order to hide the eye holes.

Step 4: Fuck around you funky fish!!!

If you have any additional questions about the costume feel free to ask, i will be happy to answer!

Have a Fishtastic day!

[lokiinmediasideblog]

Loki + Odin=Marvel!Loki

This is part (2/3) of a series.

This is the most obvious "equation" out of the three, being that all Norse myth adaptations have an Odin and Loki (unlike say, the lesser known Skadi), so they both have high visibility.

Marvel's version of Loki (mostly referring to the comics but some of this applies to the MCU to some extent) is some weird mixture of myth!Loki, myth!Odin, and sometimes the Devil because Christians decided Loki was "the Norse devil" (by this, I mean original Earth-616 Loki being the "God of Evil" and referring to himself as "Satan" in his very first appearance (Venus comics)) that has until fairly recently become more Loki-like (i.e. reincarnation and onwards).

Odin and Loki are quite similar in the myths (They're both SHIFTY BASTARDS and partake in "female interests" to different extents). So it works out especially when Marvel's Loki is raised by Odin.

Marvel!Loki's similarities to Odin:

Myth!Loki is not a master sorcerer (that's myth!Odin) and is merely a shapeshifter. Myth!Loki can shapeshift themselves and others in the myths which is a common ability of the Jotnar. But is not shown to do seidr or seek it out. That's Odin. I am basing it from the Lokasenna where Odin and Loki are arguing over who's more "argr." Basically going "oh yea, well you're gayeyer" at each other. Calling each other slurs. Odin calls Loki argr for giving birth as a woman for "8 winters" and Loki calls Odin argr for practicing seidr and disguising as an old woman. Loki’s shape-shifting is not considered “seidr” and it’s just something Jotnar do all the time. Seidr pertains especifically to clairvoyance magic and rituals, according to Jackson Crawford's video on it.

In the comics, Loki sacrificed himself for himself (to reincarnate and try to break out of predictability). In the mythology, Odin sacrificed himself for himself by spearing himself and hanging from Yggdrassil for 9 days, to gain knowledge (see the runes for Galdr). In the MCU, Loki sacrifices himself for others multiple times to the point where it's a meme. But the thematic elements of self-sacrifice and resurrection are there, and his final sacrifice is associated with a tree.

Loki in the myths is more of a Looney Tunes character sort of schemer. He schemes, cheats, and lies, but it's usually for a short-term goal such as saving his ass from all the wacky situations he ends up in through his fault or by being scapegoated. Not very Machiavellic. He's not plotting to rule take power. Though he may engage in malicious pranks and the occasional murder (Balder). Though aspects of this may still apply to Marvel!Loki.

Marvel comics Loki is associated with corvids. Magpies rather than ravens. But it's interesting his animal that carried a copy of his soul was also a corvid.

However, there are still plenty of similarities with myth!Loki.

Loki is a scapegoat. In mythology, Loki is the only one that receives punishment for misdeeds, and its always disproportionate (mouth sewn shut, horse impregnation, bound by the entrails of his son as a snake drips burning venom on his eyes, etc). This is similar to how the Thor Comics written before 2012-ish expect you not to find Loki sympathetic and add thought bubbles of Loki thinking evil things while being punished to show it was "deserved". He is portrayed as a sympathetic scapegoat and villain within the MCU.

Loki is an outsider. In mythology, he's one of two deities speculated to be associated with the Sámi people, and a Jotnar that was brought into the Aesir fold through a blood oath with Odin ("blood brothers). Some speculate Odin did this to try to prevent Ragnarok, plus Loki was his shifty buddy for a while. In Marvel, he's a Jotun that was adopted into Asgard.

Loki doesn't fit conventional Asgardian gender role standards. Despite Marvel's retcon, it was quite obvious Asgardians had gender expectations (e.g. Thor lashes out at being called "princess" and nearly starts a war over that insult, Sif being a shield maiden being a huge deal, Loki's magic being dismissed as "tricks" and less important than battle in deleted scenes (grain of salt bc deleted scene)).

Loki is closer to his mother. It has been state by John Lindow that Loki's use of a matronymic surname indicates an absent or inadequate father. In the MCU, his adoptive mother taught him magic and is the parent he's closer to. This is not the case in Marvel comics, where Frigga/Freyja (they can't make up their mind how to name her) rejected Loki (*Blood Brothers aka Loki (2004) was so influential to me*). And tried to force them into a villainous role post-reincarnation.

I think the MCU's Sif and Loki dynamic is weirdly similar to Loki and Skadi (and I elaborate on the previous post 1/3).

Loki causes Ragnarok in some way. In Marvel comics, Loki does still kill Balder and cause Ragnarok often. In the MCU, he technically also started Ragnarok, but it was to save the rest of the realms. In the mythology, after escaping his torturous punishment, he leads the armies of Hel against Asgard on a ship made of nails.

Odin and Loki are considered to be similar in both the MCU and the myths. In the mythology, they were considered to be so similar, it was speculated Loki may be a hypostasis of Odin by Folke Strom. In the MCU, Hela remarks how similar Loki is to Odin.

Lazy Citations:

Loki's Wikipedia article (last screenshot)

Jackson Crawford's video on seidr.

Laidoner, Triin. (2012) The Flying Noaidi of the North: Sámi Tradition Reflected in the Figure Loki Laufeyjarson in Old Norse Mythology. SCRIPTA ISLANDICA.

Previous post:

[speedofsoundsketches]

I noticed that you have made it clear that you are not one for the first Sonic the Hedgehog film. And I must make it clear that I respect your opinion on it; it is not for everyone, even all Sonic fans.

However, I get a feeling that you are antipathetic to the future installment(s)- you mentioned some time ago you have not seen the second film. But even if you were underwhelmed by the first film, do you believe that they cannot improve?

in the wake of the trailers of the Super Mario Bros movie, I have seen things like "I used to like the Sonic movies, but since the *trailers!* of the Mario movie came out, the Sonic movies suck now!". Do you believe that is really a "correct" way of thinking? Like, regardless of what one thinks of the movies, should people just dismiss all the hard work that people like Fowler and Tyson Hesse put into the films just because they aren't animated like the Mario movie? Or that they don't use much of the game music, like the Mario movie? is this truly shaping up to be a "1:1 or nothing" thing, leaving no room for deviation?

I ask this because I feel that rational StH fans are as rare as hens teeth, especially these days; consider yourself a hens tooth

The biggest issue I have with these movies is the foundation it laid for itself.

Cue TL;DR rant mode

Let's be absolutely frank and honest with ourselves. The first movie was only saved purely because the controversy of Sonic's design led to him being revamped entirely and Eggman's portrayal was solid. That's really it. I'm not against human characters showing up at all, on the contrary. But this set up is "Take the most superficially basic concept of Sonic then make a bunch of convoluted revisions to the lore of the original series to justify isekai-ing him into San Francisco so we can save money on animated scenes". Like, it's the same problem most children's media being adapted into "live action" suffers from. It's a cheap, lazy adaptation that broke absolutely zero ground and I've held this opinion of it literally since the day it was first revealed and announced with those leaked posters of Chris Pratt and Sonic's initial design.

And just because it didn't end up being as "bad" as it first looked and they brought on actual, talented fans of the series onto the creative team, doesn't suddenly detract from this most basic, fundamental problem. Sonic's movies suffer from what happens when you let Hollywood just go to town on your IP and barely give it proper boundaries to stay in.

Even if they manage to get SOME things right like, Knuckles actually being cool again and the Giant Robot fight at the end of the second film, the reality is they'll still be tied down by the flimsy foundation they started on, like dragging on a wedding scene or putting waaaay more focus and attention on the human characters than the.....main characters we came to watch???

Now compare that with the Mario movie. From the start, Nintendo I understand had a MUCH bigger involvement on the production. It's not like the lame adaptation I mentioned above. They went full on "Angry Birds" level of staying on brand. The entire world feels like the natural, fleshed out idea of "How do we make this feel as warm, inviting, and fantastical as the games but still make it work as a movie?" It's actually BRILLIANT just from first impressions.

I'm sure it's going to suffer from other typical kids movie problems like "Peach's a STRONG WOMAN NOW because she wears PANTS and DON'T NEED NO RESCUER", dumb movie writing or Mario, Luigi and Peach's flat voice acting. But you cannot look at that movie, how it just unabashedly looks, feels and is completely imprinted in Mario and say that Sonic had anywhere NEAR the same level of enthusiastic production on it. I mean, even the cute commercial of their plumbing business in New York is entirely animated and ALSO feels like it fits. They went to the absolute nines with making this feel like a WAY better adaptation in spirit, story and visuals.

Of course I appreciate the hard work the team put into saving the Sonic films from becoming absolute jokes but WHY did it even have to be so compromised in the first place when Mario shows up looking EXACTLY like how I've dreamed Sonic's movies would've been treated?

I'm not wooed over by the small glimpses of Sonic's world or the tiny references they managed to squeeze in there. I'd appreciate those way more if it were ACTUALLY set in it. And I cannot stand this prevailing narrative that "Sonic's world is separate from Earth" in most of these adaptations because it's not! It IS Earth! He's always lived in the same planet as humans, their animal kind is just reclusive and live on islands. That's the actual lore of the games!

This movie made the mistake of doing what Sonic X did. They think it'd be "too weird" for someone like Sonic to have been from Earth as if the intense popularity of it in the first place isn't enough to show how wrong that is? No kid questioned Sonic showing up in City Escape around humans any more than dinosaurs or other crazy entities existing in Dragonball's version of Earth. It's still Earth, just fantastical.

Mario works with that because him iseaki-ing into Mushroom Kingdom is that original lore of the games too I believe. But in Sonic's case it's not and it's so JARRING because they think Sonic himself can't carry a story as the main character. No, kids need a human or avatar to help them navigate the weird, unexplained parts of the series. I'd rather they'd just do that with Sonic himself without needing to be forcibly tied to a regular human. (I'm so annoyed that he couldn't have just run to San Francisco if he wanted because he "needed directions". What a pitiful excuse. And these movies are FULL of them like that.)

Hollywood is a joke and they cannot for the life of them, understand how to effectively adapt most Japanese properties by themselves. Especially anything even remotely inspired by anime like Sonic.

I know this might make me look like "the most offended Sonic fan in the world" right now but in all honesty, I don't really think about those movies much. They function as effective promotional materials for the games and kids like them so whatever. Like, it's just one big Shrug really.

*sigh*

[zhalfirin-binds]

Edge colouring with acrylic paint

I was asked to go over my process for painting edges and I wanted to do a new one so I could take good pictures of the process. Alas, I don't have the time to do that at the moment so a quick write up with already existing pictures it is

These pictures only show the colouring of the top edge. Traditionally it's either the top edge or all edges that get coloured/decorated. Colouring the front edge of a rounded book comes with another set of challenges that I will not address here. (On the upside, colouring a straight front edge is just the same.)

The basic procedure is always the same though.

First up the book is set in a press. Trimming helps to get a more even surface and will help reducing the time one spends on sanding.

Prepping the bookblock I prep the bookblock and use some sturdy and not voluminous paper to cushion the bookblock between boards. A bonus on this is, the cushioning can adapt to the shape of the bookblock. As visible the pictures, these are from colouring the edge of book with shoulders (which means it has not only been rounded but also backed). By cushioning the bookblock I can protect the shoulders from being squashed by the boards when I apply pressure. The cushioning paper should also be larger than the book itself. Otherwise the pressure from clamping the edge tight can cause a smaller cushioning to leave marks on the bookblock. (btw paper from high gloss magazines is perfect, because it's very dense and will not be compressed/ reduce pressure on the bookblock)

Putting the book in the press For this you need a press that allows to have one side of the book (the one you're working on) point upwards. The paper is level with the edge, but the boards are a bit recessed (no more than 5mm). This is done to keep pressure on the bookblock without having to sand the boards at the same time. Also thinner bookblocks can quickly get sanded at an angle which is a) an aesthetic issue and b) causes trouble when taking the measurements for the case.

When the book sits tightly in the press (here the go to is, give it as much as you have! you want those pages so tight no water is seeping in and causes bleed! Sometimes paper quality is lacking though and it can't be avoided.)

Sanding the edge Sanding is, in my experience, the one of the crucial parts of edge colouring. A smooth edge will lead to an even result and removes one possible cause for flaking (there are more though). Even my trimmed books usually have a mark from the blade when trimming and to get an even looking result those need to go. I sand in different grits, starting with a 120 sandpaper wrapped around a block of cork or another tool for holding the paper. I go no lower than than to avoid getting even deeper groves than there still are. Then I follow up with 180, 240 and 320 paper. Usually that's enough to get a glossy sheen on the edge. (different book but you can see that gloss and the part I still had to go over in the pictures below)

Once they have that sheen...

DO NOT TOUCH THE EDGE!

I know it's hard. The temptation to just run the fingers over them great. They look so smooth and shiny. Almost silken to the touch... and they are... but I repeat YOU MUST NOT TOUCH!

The oils on your skin can interfere with a good result. Especially water based colours may not stick as well to the areas touched as others, glues and foils do not adhere as well, stuff like that. Applying colour When the book is in the press it's not removed or pressure reduced before the edge decoration is done. For the colour shift acrylic paints it's essential to get a dark foundation. Otherwise the colour will not show! I've done this with ink.

(This was really rushed and not neat at all, don't aim for a look like that! All the darker parts show where I did not have a smooth surface yet. Even the cutting marks from trimming are till visible.)

In my experience working with acrylic paints is more forgiving to laziness when sanding than inks. At least when it comes to even coverage in the end, possible flaking is a different matter.

The colourshift acrylic paint was way more liquid than the ones I'm familiar with, still they needed diluting (a first go with undiluted colour resulted in severe flaking). For the ratio on how to dilute I can't give measurements. I think I ended up with a rather thin colour and did several passes until I was satisfied with the colourshift effect.

No matter what coat is applied I use a soft brush that is wider than the bookblock to cover all at once and avoid to obvious streaks. The direction of brushing is from spine area to the front. I try to get the whole edge covered in 1 motion. To avoid colour seeping down the front edge I lift the brush towards the end so there's less pressure pushing a bit of colour ahead of the brush and spilling down the front edge. (I'm still working on that part, different paints behave differently, but that's the ideal to aim for.)

Now all to do is wait until the colour is completely dry. Which is rather fast with acrylics but takes a bit longer with ink. That step can be speed up a bit with a hairdryer on low heat and from a distance to allow the colour to dry evenly and then the book can be taken out of the press.

I've seen different approaches to separate the edges. Mine is a gentle wave motion. Holding on to the books spine and front and just twisting it and pushing the pages so they move against each other.

If all went well there's a rewarding crackle and no colour flakes off. If colour flakes off, it's back to square one, sanding until all is clean and smooth, colouring, drying and separating (and hoping this time all goes well).

As a reference for the colourshift paints I used, I did a test sheet for the chameleon colours. So here's a dot of the same colour on white paper as the stripes under or next to it on the black and also slightly different angles to show the colourshift (sadly it photographs really bad on flat surfaces)